#ohhhh i have so many projects-no. you have 5. you can handle it.

[loving-jack-kelly]

i have 5 final projects due in the next two weeks and three of them are due on the same day lmao. lmao. lmao.

[hohoz]

The ones that suffer the most

I wanted to talk about this for a long time.

I’m a Resident evil addicted, I finished almost every RE game released and I must say that Capcom made some poor choices regarding Jill and Chris, they are EASILY the most mistreated characters in RE Franchise. 

But let’s explain why is that: 

Jill and Chris are survivors, they had to survive in a mansion with a lot of puzzles and zombies, while looking for items that could help them to progress and find a way to reach Brad. 

When they arrive at STARS Office, they are revolted that Umbrella did all that under their noses and innocents were dying because of that and they explained EVERYTHING in a report - but Irons made that go away. 

In the ORIGINAL RE3 we had this special file (Jill’s Diary) 

August 7th Two weeks have passed since that day. My wounds have been healed, but I just can't forget it. For most people, it's history now. But for me, whenever I close my eyes, it all comes back clearly. Zombies eating people's flesh and the screams of my teammates dying. No, the wounds in my heart are not healed yet...

August 13th Chris has been causing a lot of trouble recently. What's with him? He seldom talks to the other police members and is constantly irritated. The other day, he punched Elran of the Boy's Crime department just for accidentally splashing Chris's face with coffee. I immediately stopped Chris, but when he saw me he just gave me a wink and walked away. I wonder what happened to him...

August 15th Midnight. Chris, who has been on a leave of absence for a "vacation," called me so I visited his apartment. As soon as I walked into his room, he showed me a couple of pieces of paper. They were part of a virus research report entitled as simply as "G". Then Chris told me that, "The nightmare still continues." He went on to say that, "It's not over yet." Ever since that day, he has been fighting all by himself without rest, without even telling me.

August 24th Chris left the town today to go to Europe. Barry told me that he would send his family to Canada and then he would follow Chris. I decided to remain in Raccoon City for a while because I know that the research facility in this city will be very important to this entire case. In a month or so, I'll be joining with them somewhere in Europe. That's when my real battle begins...

For some weird reason this file isn’t available in RE3 Remake. 

But ok, here we see that Chris was doing some investigation - in the RE2RMK  you could see this letter that Chris left in a way that normal people wouldn't understand - the only thing that Claire says is that “doesnt look like him” but how normies would understand what Chris is like is he is not well represented in media ??????????????????

And Jill had all the detective work in her wall. 

So far so good - we understand the basics about them - they are Special police force, the elite, they had a traumatic experience and they survived to tell the story. 

Some problems until now:

Jill had a MAJOR personality change in RE3 RMK- I honestly like most of that, she is a badass in the originals and she is a badass in the rmk but I still dislike the fact that she swears all the time (specially because in RE1, RE Rev, RE5 she doesn't do that) 

We can tell a lot about her personality just looking at her room, but I still miss some stuff (I had expectations - so this is not a real problem. but still) like a Vinyl player (since she is probably into classical music), some letters from her father so new players can understand her origin and why is she so good in lockpicking and more about her dog (she had a pic in the original that could’ve been her boyfriend but it was replaced by a dog in RE2 rmk but in RE3 Rmk there in no dog) 

Okay - after you finish the game the only thing we see is this: 

In my opinion this is Chris since he is always associated with Green colors while Jill is associated with blue. 

So my speculation here is that she found him while in the original we had this: 

This is not a major chance but still is important (lore of course - duh) but the problem here is that while Jill is looking for him - Code Veronica is happening. 

So I can only assume two things, they did not show him because they DON’T HAVE A FACE FOR HIM or I am wrong and that is Jill, but if that is Jill so why there is no decent epilogue like the original ? 

Okay, now we are arriving in the real trouble area

I will do RE5 first and the Wii and Rev1 (even tho those two comes first in the lore) 

RESIDENT EVIL 5 

So before the game was release we had some propaganda, including this: 

So have in mind that Jill was dead, I thought that she died and RE5 would explain that shit. 

But in the beginning we see that Chris is looking for her and have in mind that Chris HAD A MAJOR CHANCE IN HIS APPEARANCE, and I’m not talking about his muscles. 

I will not address Chris in CV since he was good in that game but I the team that made CV also made the original, it had CONSISTENCE. 

Here we have Chris, he’s THE classical american soldier protagonist from Hollywood in the 80′s/90′s and he had some omage to TOPGUN

He also shares some traits with his sister

A major trait here is that HE HAS BLUE EYES, typical good looking soldier from US. 

and now let’s have a look at Chris in RE5...

Yeah... I still hate this face even tho I love his Character in this game, this ugly a** monkey looking mf and he had a lot of steroids

So we have some lore to him in RE5, Jill and Chris went to a mansion looking for Spencer (one of the fathers of Umbrella and the one that was behind project Wesker, he wanted to do this Virus so he could live forever, so RE has a good lore, it’s not just about zombies) but when they found him, he was dead and Wesker was by his side, in a fight Jill sacrificed herself to save Chris’s life. 

Chris started doing mission after mission because her body was never found, and he made a name for himself, he became a ‘legend’ inside BSAA and you can see that in the beginning of RE5.

The reason behind the muscles was probably to fight Wesker mano to mano but still is not well made, it really felt weird playing for the first time. 

So now we have a problem here, there is thing that you use in a narrative that is to make someone strong af powerless, and they did that to Jill. (a good example of this is in TWD- Ricky is a fucking legend and Negan made him powerless in the face of a event) 

Jill was used in a Boss fight and that is it... She is not in the game as a character, she is being manipulated and her whole design was changed, she looks like Nina from Tekken. WTF. - BTW, the fact that Wesker had mind control over her created 1000 fics of sex 

 So that is it, my main problem here isnt Jill itself, but it’s the fact that they used her character as a boss even tho she is the heroine, she never appears in RE lore again until some guy inside Capcom said “Well people are asking about Jill so let’s place a file in Rev2 saying that she is in rehab” 

The only time that she appears again is in a 3DS NINTENDO ONLY game, it felt that Capcom simply don’t care about her character. 

By the way Revelations 1 is a great game and was adaptable some years later for PC and consoles

But you think that this is bad, wait until we arrive at RESIDENT EVIL 6 

When I learned that Jill was not in RE6 I was mad... But after I played that game I said “thank you God” that game was bad, transformers kind of bad, it had bad writing, the lore was all over the place and Chris was the one that suffered the most in this game. 

He was responsible for the death of an entire squad, suffered amnesia and people still wanted him in the command 

THEY MADE HIM AN ALCOHOLIC 

The golden boy of BSAA reduced to THIS. 

By the way, the director said that HE WANTED TO KILL CHRIS IN THIS GAME to SUBVERT EXPECTATIONS - so if you liked Piers now that he died only because of that. 

So now let’s analyse what we know: 

The first 2 main characters are not well represented in media until RE6, they don’t know how to re introduce Jill in the games and Chris was reduced to a normal guy at a Russian bar;

But it gets worse... 

Capcom LOVE Leon, we know that. he is always the hero, he is the protagonist in almost every movie and he is always the cool guy so when he get’s a new model, he looks like this:

But When Chris get’s a new face he look like this: 

WHO DAFUQ ARE U, no offense to the model but he has NEGATIVE JAW LINE.

And still he doesn't look like Claire’s brother, there is no blue/green eyes and he looks younger that he was in 6 (and 6 still uses that ugly character model) 

But let’s go in the lore- we HAVE 0 info on Jill in RE6 / RE7 and no sight of her in RE8 

And speaking of which, they tried to make Chris the bad guy in the trailer so when we play we see “Ohhhh he was not the bad guy, that happened and that is why he did that” 

But still... 

If they are going to do that to his character don’t use this character, shit ! Do something with that Wesker’s son that made 0 sense in RE6 but leave Chris out of this - it really feels that they simply don’t know how to treat him right

And you may think that I may be complaining a lot because of his appearance

But this is him in RE8  

(to me this is some random dude from Russia) 

And this is him in RE:Verse (that is going to be release TOGETHER) 

So this tells me that they have 0 clue of how to handle his looks

Jill got RE3Rmk but it felt like a cheap game compared to RE2Rmk where the original RE3 was SO MUCH BETTER

And this is bad because there are so many new fans joining the fandom only to see 2 great characters suffering from poor director’s choices. 

I’m sorry about this rant, if you like Chris face and looks its okay, really, but dont tell me that Chris from 5/6/8 is the same from 1/CV and if you think im wrong about Jill its fine, but she is an amazing character that could have so much more impact in RE universe (I mean, she never even appeared in a RE movie - animations) 

But it’s sad to see so many characters that receive good representation in media and good games/lore while Jill get’s almost none and Chris is handled like random face guy. 

I was going to talk a little bit more about Rev 1 and RE Umbrella Chronicles but there is no need since Im mad right now and it seems that Capcom has 0 interest in making Code Veronica and Umbrella’s fall after that since their fav boy Leon need a rmk in RE4 even tho RE4 is not that old. 

Bonus:

Fun fact: Chris served in the Air force, so yeah, to me even Tom Cruise looks more like Chris than Chris from the games

[jeidafei]

D.Gray-Man Vol.26: Komui’s Lounge (Extended) 4/5

>> Part 1 <<

>> Part 2 <<

>> Part 3 <<

Question 20: How many types of headphones does Marie have? And do they function differently?

Marie: Now I only have the latest model the Science Division developed for me. I keep it on at all times except when I go to bed.

Bak: I’ve contributed to the design as well. (ahem)

Marie: Did you? Thank you, Supervisor. 

Lavi: But you’ll hear countless noises and voices from a considerable range all the time, right? Isn’t that exhausting? 

Wisely: What!? You’re able to hear that much!? Where’s the respect for privacy?

Allen: Shut up about privacy, you.

Marie: Well, it was rough before I got used to it. I trained myself to listen for only important sounds from among countless noises. I’ve come to the point where everyday noises from people doing their chores and talking mostly just flow right by me, and since then I haven’t been “listening in” on anyone. 

Link: Aha. You really are a true man of character, Noise Marie. You’d better take notes, Walker.

Allen: How did this come to me?

Link: Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten how you threatened me with Timcanpy’s recordings.

(T/N: I don’t remember where the omake in which this happened is, but it was the recording of Link when Timothy possessed him on the Louvre’s roof and made all those funny faces and slobbering in the Phantom Thief G arc.)

Question 21: I’m curious about the length of time Krory can maintain his enhanced capabilities and the amount of Akuma blood needed. And also whether it is possible to extend his activation time by training, etc.

Bak: As of now he can drink blood from Akuma up to Level Three, and can stay activated for 10 minutes with 250ml of blood. Looks like he’s also experimenting to extend that time with support from the Science Division. 

Lavi: Wouldn’t drinking more blood extend the activation time?

Bak: No, it wouldn’t. On the other hand, drinking less than 250ml will shorten the activation time to around 3 minutes.

Marie: When you said he can drink blood from Akuma up to Level Three, is it because he hasn’t experimented with blood from a Level Four yet?

Bak: Well, since obtaining blood from a Level Four is next to impossible...

Wisely: Ho ho ho. Indeed, indeed ♪.

Allen: Seeing Krory enjoying Akuma blood that much really does make you wonder whether it really is delicious, after all.

Link: Don’t try it out, Walker.

Question 22: Does Miranda always carry sweets with her while on a mission? And does she have a favorite flavor?

Link: I’ve heard that since her Innocence requires stamina, she’s come to carrying sweets at all times to supplement her calories, but about the flavor...

Marie: Miranda said she likes minty flavors.

Allen: Are you sure? Miss Miranda always gives me sweets whenever my stomach starts growling, and they’re always fruity flavors like strawberry or pineapple.

Lavi: That’s just coz you like fruit-flavored candies, isn’t it, Allen?

Marie: Haha. So she’s packing fruity candies just for you as well, huh.

Allen: Eh!? Is that so!?

Bak: By the way, whenever Lou Fa learns you’re coming to our branch, she’d always prepare Mitarashi dumplings, Walker.

Allen: Eh!? Now that you mention it, there really did seem to be Mitarashi dumplings around whenever I go to the Asian Branch.

Wisely: What!? If you really loved eating that much, then why didn’t you accept Tikky’s invitation to feast back then?

Allen: It’s not feasting that I have a problem with; it’s that Curly-Head. He’s the very man who tore a hole in my heart, have you forgotten? Do you expect me to enjoy a meal with such a groping pervert?

(T/N: Er, Allen...I think your point is a little off here...)

Link: So you won’t let your appetite win in that case, Walker?

Allen: Yes?

Link: Nothing. That’s a relief. 

Question 23: So before Lavi became an Exorcist, he fought with a dagger?

Lavi: Eh? What’s this?

Wisely: They’re probably talking about that time back in the Ark. When you were in Road’s dream, remember?

Lavi: Ohhhh, so that was it. Wait, how come you know about that?

Wisely: La-de-dah♪

Marie: Lavi’s an all-rounder, like Bookman, right?

Allen: What on earth is that?

Marie: Those who can make use of any weapon depending on the situation.

Lavi: That’s because as Bookmen, virtually all our logs are of war zones. So Gramps trained me to be capable of handling any situation, and that training also includes martial arts.

Link: What are you most skilled with?

Lavi: Hmmmm. I like cudgels best, I guess.

Allen: You’re always fooling about whenever we duel-train, Lavi, and I’ve been thinking perhaps you’re no good. Kanda beats you in a blink, you see. 

Lavi: Aaaawwww. Come on! It’s such a pain to fight seriously!

Bak: But back then, when you were dueling with Fō, you seemed quite serious, though.

Lavi: I wouldn’t call that a duel; Fō was coming at me like she’s dying to kill me, damn her. How could I not take it seriously!?

Allen: Yeah, Fō does mean it when she fights, doesn’t she. 

Bak: She’s more a berserker than a guardian deity, that one.

Link: I see. You will not get serious unless it poses a certain level of threat to your life. 

Question 24: Are Nea and the 14th the same individual?

Wisely: My my. Is this reader mistaking something here? “The 14th” is just the alias the previous generation of Noah bestowed upon Nea. There is only one Nea. 

Link: Though Nea himself doesn’t seem fond of it; he’s said it is “a nickname given out of distaste”. Guess I’d have to be careful from now...

Allen: Huh? Careful of what?

Link: Would you like some mango juice, Walker?

Allen: WEE-HEE!

Bak: I’ve been wondering. Why isn’t he called “The 14th disciple” like the other Noahs but simply “The 14th”?

Wisely: Perhaps that is the distaste Nea was talking about. As has already been revealed in the Gray Log Fanbook, Nea has no Noah Memory, and for that very reason, the other Noahs may have treated him as the black sheep of the family. Well, I guess I’ll leave you here with a cliffhanger until the boy uncovers Nea’s secrets in the main narrative. 

Marie: He has no Noah Memory, so he couldn’t reincarnate like the other Noahs, and that is why he implanted his memories within Allen?

Link: Exactly when did he implant them within you? Do you really have no idea, Walker?

Allen: Told you; I really don’t know! It’s said to be around 35 years ago! I’m sixteen, remember? I didn’t even exist then!

Wisely: ..............

Lavi: What the heck are you grinning about, Three-Eyes?

Wisely: Nuffink.

(T/N: OMG OMG OMG OMG OH MY FREAKING GAWD WISELY DID YOU JUST FREAKING CONFIRM THE PAST!ALLEN THEORY WITHOUT SAYING A SINGLE WORD???!!!)

Question 25: Allen’s left eye should have become able to project the image of the Akuma souls to others, but it seems nobody apart from Lavi has seen it. Is it deciding itself whether to let other people see the souls within the Akuma?

Lavi: Ah, that...Just remembering it still gives me the creeps even now.

Allen: Back then when Lavi and Krory said they could see the Akuma’s soul, at first I was definitely sure the curse has strengthened in power, and from now people other than me will be able to see the souls, too. But after that, nobody ever saw it again. Looks like it’s just a one-time thing, after all.

Lavi: It was right after your damaged eye resurrected with the curse’s power, right? With your eye being in an unusual state like that, anything can happen. Me and Krorykins were just unfortunately caught up in the curse’s rampage. 

Allen: Well, it’s a relief, anyway. After all, it’s not a pleasant sight to behold. If it ends with you not having to see it anymore, I’d say it’s for the best.

Bak: I’m interested, though. As part of the Science Division, we welcome any information on the Akuma.

Wisely: So am I. For even my Demon Eye cannot see souls. In what state are they, the souls within Akuma?

Link: How could you say these things like it doesn’t concern you when you’re on the very side creating Akuma?

Marie: Must have been hard getting used to seeing those souls, huh, Allen?

Allen: When I first saw one, I was so scared I couldn’t even bear to look. But Master was patientーWell, for him. “Those things aren’t scary”, he’d scold me; they were once living humans just like us, and they’re just screaming for me to save them, after all. It took a long time, but just like that, little by little I became able to look at them. 

Question 26: What do Kanda, Allen, Lenalee and Lavi smell of? Lenalee would probably smell very nice. Well, she’s a girl after all; she’s definitely using perfume and the like, right?

Marie: Hmmmm. Kanda’s scent? Soap is the closest bet, I’d say.

(T/N: Sensei, considering the general negative image of D.Gray-Man as a Yaoi manga may I say this is not a wise move? *laffs*)

Allen: And me, Marie? What about me?

Marie: You usually have a sugary smell about you, Allen. Like dessert.

Lavi: Because there’s always crumbs all over your clothes, Allen.

Allen: Lavi’s eyepatch gives out whiffs of Fabreeze.

(T/N: the popular Japanese brand of air-freshener/deodorant spray.)

Lavi: Oi! Don’t say stuff from the old Instagram page! Some readers won’t get it!

(T/N: In Hoshino’s old Instagram there’s a drawing of Allen spraying Fabreeze at Lavi’s face for some reason. I don’t remember the caption. She’s also reposted it on her new Instagram just to clarify this joke. Maybe it’s just that he never/rarely takes off his eyepatch for cleaning and it’s moldy and sweaty...?)

Marie: Hmmmm...as for Lavi...he smells of tobacco a bit. 

Allen: Yeah! Just like Master’s scent.

Lavi: Ah, Gramps’ cigarettes, huh? I’m aware of that. 

Wisely: Bookman is a heavy smoker as ever. A wonder his lungs are still holding out even at his age.

Marie: I think Lenalee usually has a flowery scent, though.

Bak: Yes, she does! Lenalee-san smells like sweet flowers!

Allen: Bak-san, keep your voice down! If Komui-san hears you, we’d be in for big trouble!

Lavi: Lenalee doesn’t use perfume, and still she smells so nice.

Allen: There’s this thing she uses. You see, a while back I was talking to Lenalee about having more scars or something, and she said; “This works wonders, you know.” and gave me some of this thingーkinda like Body Oil? Could it have been that oil’s scent? The scars would fade if you keep rubbing this oil on them, from the looks of it. It smells wonderful when she’s putting it on me.

Bak: SHE WAS PUTTING IT ON YOU, WALKEEEEEEER!? (snaps)

(T/N: Trust me I had a really hard time keeping this one from becoming Fifty Shades of (D.) Gray or Silence of the Lambs for that matter...)

Allen: NO ULTERIOR MOTIVE! REALLY!

Lavi: Body oil, huh...ah, my heart’s gettin’ all weird just hearing that.

Link: What’s with that dirty look on your face, Bookman Jr?

>> Part 5 <<

[rennyji]

July 15th Morning Tweets...

July 15th Morning Tweets...

---

Martina McBride - “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” - the song was made more beautiful by this woman’s voice…I feel women sound less and less like that, and also tend to look less womanly in appearance and more like girls…I mean women have a particular build (…can you say build with women?! I don’t mean broad shoulders like me or other guys and I’m not exactly referring to the body like a coke bottle from rap songs…)…there’s also something to their faces…can’t put my finger on it, but maybe women look like Wonder Woman or Gal Gadot acting as Wonder Woman, where as present day women looking like girls seem…playful?! in appearance…is that actually a thing or style?

---

From the @TouchofModern app, you can always find innovative interesting stuff at discount prices. On a very dull level, compared to buying a fitness item of sorts, I found these really good quality shirts…what do I mean by quality? The material is good, the design is good, feels good, I think I’m thinking texture?!-it’s also good. The t-shirt brand I’m talking about are from a London/Spain based brand called “Felix Hardy.” Polo Ralph Lauren sells jeans that allow ur legs to bend and move around- I mean you get what you pay for, but I think Felix Hardy sells better shirts…

---

so with all the philosophy Ive been sharing, I came across Matthew 16. A part of it goes, "The Yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees" . It states, -

-5 When they went across the lake, the disciples forgot to take bread. 6 “Be careful,” Jesus said to them. “Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.” 7 They discussed this among themselves and said, “It is because we didn’t bring any bread.”-

-8 Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked, “You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread? 9 Do you still not understand?-

- so yeast of the pharisees and sauducees...like 5 loaves miraculously feeding 5000 men or yeast expanding, an idea in our heads can spiral or take life for better or worse. be mindful of wrong ideas and the spiral they can take you. -

-be mindful of what the known and hidden orchestrators put out...you may only be aware of one group...be mindful, or “Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.”

-In that BiblicalPassage, Christ says, "When they wentAcross the lake, the disciples forgot 2 take bread. “Be careful,” Jesus said 2them. “Be on ur guard againstTheYeast ofPharisees &Sadducees.” 7 They discussed this amongThemselves &said, “It is b/c we didn’t bring any bread.”-

- This is Christ saying, "take in His words and what religions offer, with an open mind, a kind heart, and INSIGHT-i.e. learn to interpret things and not just take things literally. -

-whether in life, reading, or understanding a person and their actions, look at context i.e. what came before, happening now, and the potential for future events...-

- it goes back to what I think I said yesterday about parables being like computer zip files. The way to unzip them is with insight and life experience. To repeat my specific words from yesterday: -

-Here’s a computer metaphor: parables are like computer zip files or compressed files. A zip file is a file that can contain multiple files and folders in the convenience of one smaller file.-

-You use a program to unzip that one file to reveal the multiple files and folders. The parables are zip files and you can gain a myriad of advice, lessons, truth from the same story. -

- From the 10 Commandments to the Golden Rule, in place of long volumes of texts using multiple meaning parables, Christ tries to give an easy, concise, “not-having-to-know-too-many-things” version to Salvation. -

-But you need a strong mind, need to use insight, need to interpret, and not JUST take things literally.

---

So let’s assume mind reading can happen…you gotta ask to what extent…if someone were to say they can detect my thoughts, or let’s even assume I’m relayed while I slab aftershave all over my face, or while I’m in my boxers around the house, or taking a nap in my man cave of a bedrooms-which I have yet to gain the energy fo clean/organize…I mean what are my actual thoughts…I’m sure for fun it can be said he’s thinking this/that…but then, in those instances, do the orchestrators say I’m thinking what I’m writing in my blog? Aren’t those “thoughts?” When I write on the fly-perhaps I’m seen- can the orchestrators tell which direction I’m going with my writing?! So if mind reading is about thoughts, and you can’t detect my deep and “sometimes” philosophical mind, how can anyone say they’re reading my thoughts? Is that the orchestrators mistakenly saying  they detect “ impulses “ or the “sea of random things” floating through the mind?! Now Ive indicated this idea in past blog posts, maybe among the earliest of them, but I guess I have to repeat myself. So let’s assume the orchestrators detect the sea of randomness in a person’s mind…how many of those random things, popping up in the mind, do you agree with, act on, or make a “willful choice” to “contemplate further.” ?

I’m a guy and a Libran guy. I find women beautiful and enjoy killing time with women. Even in kindergarten, my best friend was a girl and I’d hover around her and keep watch while she talked in a circle with her friends. My father wanted sons, but I want at least one daughter and one son, the daughter of whom, I will probably call, “Lara.”

But back to alleged mind reading. Being a guy and, for sh*tz and giggles, a Libran guy, I see a beautiful or hot girl, my mind, like any other guy, will take directions. But reality is, while that’s happening, I could just be waiting to drop off a box at UPS. My focus is getting in and getting out of UPS, for that instant of time. I’d like to think my mind is governed by several copies of the baby version of my younger sibling. He’s a treasure and a doctor. So figuratively speaking, while waiting on that line at UPS, one of the copies of my sibling will scream, “Breakfast”, while another will scream, “ohhhh beautiful girl”, but how many will “I” act on amidst the screaming copies of my younger sibling? While my body may agree with hunger or attractions, my mind may have different plans. The orchestrators may say he thinks ur beautiful, but that’s like on impulse, without further understanding she doesn’t meet my type of smile requirements. So then, ultimately, would I consider her beautiful, for my needs? Can the alleged mind readers detect that, if it’s not actually explicitly said? I mean, my morning writings are thoughts, are those anticipated? If it’s on the basis of cr*p reading of the mind that people don’t talk to me, I tend to be shameless to the point that I walk around my room naked, under the belief I’m relayed all the time. I would totally value the person who tells me what’s going on and help me move on with my life, after all these years. All this said, this is not to takeaway from my belief that this mind crap and instruction based commanding of people, may have a role in the end of the world, as stated in yesterday’s (Wednesday morning) tweets/tumblr post. Don’t hesitate to talk to me, above all talk to me about “the situation” . I mean some confirmation/acknowledgment for living like this, for figuring out things through evidence/observation through the course of years-it’d be a reward through which youd make my day. Even if I lose a chance at being 6 ft tall or a billion dollars, I don’t care. You and me, we can start something together and say screw you to the world…Christians say the “Our Father” prayer…I say that more important than “Give us this day our daily bread.” Is “Thy Kingdom Come”. While it may refer to an actual Kingdom, there is another Kingdom in every mind. When we say that, we ask for the heaven state of mind in our heads. It brings about a strong state of mind that can handle and attain everything. It is about believing without doubt.In defense of this, Christ even says, “Seek first the Kingdom, and all these things will be given to you.” A mind close to God, that’s trained to handle anything, can achieve anything and reach new heights. In the “Our Father”, we say at the end: “For Thine is the Kingdom, the Power, and the Glory, forever and ever, Amen.”

“For Thine is the Kingdom (Throne of the Mind, where we, with our mental voice, reside amidst a sea of impulses and thoughts), the Power ( the power to influence minds and hearts belongs to God and should not be misused as “our own”, “ for human purposes”, to stupidly mind read/ mind control for government projects or social entertainment

-for this power is Holy.

Biblically, it is said, “But whoso shall cause one of these little ones who believe in Me to fall, it were better for him that a millstone were hung about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.”

This is open to interpretation. The little ones or children represent innocence/purity, or an untainted mind. The crime of assaulting a mind is so severe, it would be better for that person to tie a stone around his neck and drown in the sea. To use a form of the Power of God to do it, you gotta ask, what are these people?!), and the Glory ( my survival alone, the words I relay, not from my intellect. When you see me, act natural and according to what comes to mind upon seeing me. Credit/Glory goes to The Divine. I’m just a passerby. I’m a nobody who likes to wear shades or get involved with computer work and buy his coffee and play rummy/card games with friend-girls or girl-friend. Don’t turn me into a role model, an icon, or associate me with fancy labels, for that poses danger to the First of the 10 Commandments.

Be natural, gain perspective from the relayed.)

---

Religion is not about restricting your life, but to, if nothing else, give you an open mind and kind heart. Sometimes the rules and regulations make us judge one another, or give us high end superficial morals, or we get lost in the details. But they’re really guidelines to doing what’s appropriate for your life with insight. Religion can give different groups of a people an identity. Through Islam, a large group of people aim to speak one language of Arabic, and identify as one people beyond Pakistan, Afghanistan, or any of the other Middle Eastern countries.

One culture, one “new nation” identity, one language, one system to open the mind and promote kindness of heart, is the goal of religion. It is to make us our best selves and unite the world as One, be it under the label of “Earthlings” or whatever: something beyond American or I dunno Iraqi or whatever. Just be on guard: Discipline will lead to a good mind, but so that ur not robotic or overly serious, remember to train the heart. The Divine sees us as The Divine’s children. Maintain innocence and a mind open to adjusting/learning, like children.

---

On another note, from observation over 30 years, I feel strict religious practices lead to things like obesity and other vices. I mean people are humans and humans have needs. Life consists of the idea of balance and taking care of your hopes, needs, desires. I mean, you may try not to drink alcohol because you think, among some peoples, that God wouldn’t approve. But that Friday/Saturday night with friends or doing/planning something fun, gives you something to look forward to. In the process of looking ur best for a party, throughout the week, you may better take care of ur health, work out, or eat right and in portions. I feel those who “have the attitude of” “alcohol is sinful” possibly also have mentalities that usually lead to vices like overeating.

In abstaining from one pleasure, you may give urself something to look forward to, by eating the best tasting foods frequently. You may eat a lot of sweets. I mean we’re human, we’ll have desires and vices. Regarding desire, it’s not desire that’s bad or questionable , but what you may possibly do to fulfill your desire or carry out your desire. You may think what else is there to enjoy in life or what else can I afford or do. This “could be” problematic. For one thing, you’ll end up obese, and an unhealthy lifestyle and eating habits can make ur mind cloudy. A cloudy mind makes bad choices or get themselves in more vices like being an inattentive spouse to ur partners conversations or a mediocre listener to your kids. These things can spiral as life from dawn to dusk is in motion in our surroundings and in the hunger and satiating of that literal/metaphorical hunger, daily. Motion!

I mean for the overly religious, a beer or two, or a shot of I dunno Johnny walker black label?! won’t kill you. In the process, it may be avenue to an insightful conversation with a potential friend. With something like sinful alcohol or whatever, I think no one thinks about whether the pros outweigh the cons, and the patterns of behavior it can lead to. While a shot of alcohol may be relaxing, too much can lead to bad choices like roaming busy streets, drunk. Alcohol is also bad for ur muscles if you wanna get jacked. But to each his own as is appropriate for their life in that particular instance of time in their lives.

On a related note, when I went out to a coffee shop mid to late Wednesday morning, it was really hot. I just showered, and was sweating a lot. After having blogged something philosophical, I started thinking about the Sikh men in the beards and turbans or the Muslim women in hijabs or even…is it called burka?(in reference to the long black gown/hoodie)…these are devoted people focused on Union with God. For a woman- I’m just guessing here- ur hair is one of ur assets. It might even be something you treasure. You, being a beautiful creature of the Divine, hiding ur silky or so hair, as a sacrifice, visible only to ur loved ones seeing ur appearance, is truly admirable. I’m sure that sacrifice won’t go ignored and will be spiritually rewarding. And regarding some of the Sikh men I’ve seen…these are some good looking dudes…I mean they’re tall, have the perfect tan, noticeable builds, and the Sikhs I’ve run into tend to skip grades in school. I knew someone who decided the turban and beard weren’t necessary, and he had a lions mane of hair and a face that shone like the sun…these men and women make these uncomfortable clothing accessory choices, not radiating the beauty God gave them, for God. In seeing this, and wishing you guys and girls the best, just wanted to share a thought. I’m a Christian. What do you think counts more in God’s eyes for me? Mechanically going to Church every Sunday and acting super perfect for the sake of what others think, or implementing the Golden Rule in my daily life? (Love God first and foremost, and your neighbor as yourself.) Does God appreciate more what I do with the gifts He gave me and me living my life in a way I can tell my Heavenly Father about my day at the end of that particular day? Does God care whether there is hair gel in my balding head on my fat mess of a body or does He value more the time I spend WITH Him in prayer and For Him in life through my words and actions? With that in mind, while the hijab or the beards and turbans will direct extra blessings ur way, I don’t think it should be required of your religions. All the hub-ub against Muslims…I mean these woman of Mediterranean and Middle Eastern descent are radiant and are like the I-Dream-of-Jeanie partners to their spouses, and their foods: from lamb gyros to the Afghan Chicken and Rice with the special sauce-some good stuff to be aware of…

---

lets assume you’re not seeing SOME of these postings today, on twitter, or tumblr, for the first time...maybe it was witnessed while being typed, as I’m typing, on the Notes app on my iphone...were the orchestrators aware that I’d mention my take on the Yeast of the Pharisees and Sauducees today? What are they calling this nonsense? Mind reading? Predictive Analytics?-A waste of time, an insult to human dignity, a testament to their indecency...

[a-deadly-serenade]

Tag!

RULES: Always post the rules. Answer the questions asked, then write 11 new ones. Tag 11 people to answer your questions, as well as the person who tagged you.

i was tagged by @ladywiltshire​!! thank youuuu ;3;

1. Do you remember your first time watching or reading Fullmetal Alchemist? What was your first impression?

yes, because it was just this year lmao. i had known about fma for a little while, because two of my friends were into it. i especially recall one of them having icons of lust when we first met, and my best friend (who is also my roommate) has a shirt and the first volume of the manga. we were binging random animes one night and he suggested that we watch the first episode of 03. i just kept making fun of it the entire time, especially after ed’s shirt tore while he was fighting father cornello and just,,,, “hi my name is edward. i’m 15 years old and i’m SHREDDED AS FUC K” good times.

2. Tell us about The Fave™.

i’m assuming we’re still talking about fma so....

the greedy boy is my fav (dam i know,, no one could have guessed). i don’t really know how it started tbh, because i don’t feel as though he left a huge impression on me after i finished 03. although, i do recall looking up pictures of him one night shortly before i started brotherhood and saw his second form and i was we AK. i had always had a thing for guys with long, dark hair so i saw greedling and i was shook. i think i ended up spoiling some stuff for myself (such as his death and that he was reborn, obviously) but i started brotherhood anyways. when i saw ling for the first time i was like, “ohhhh you’re the one who gets possessed. okay.” and when it finally happened it was LIT.

i don’t know, brotherhood was such an amazing experience watching it for the first time, and it made me appreciate so many characters a lot more than 03 did, and i feel as though i really connected to greed. he’s an asshole, that much is obvious, but i think what really stuck out to me was the scene after he killed bido and ling made him realize the severity of what he had just done.

personally, it’s very difficult for me to express how i feel towards people that i am close with. i have friends that tell me they love me all the time, and i often find myself simply nodding or giving them an awkward smile whenever they convey these sentiments. it makes me uncomfortable accepting or even coming forward with intense feelings like that, which is how greed tended to handle these complicated aspects of his relationships as well. i’ve always kind of gravitated towards characters that appear p awkward in the emotional department.

we even handle coming to terms with these emotions pretty similarly. greed bottles all of these sentiments up until it finally crashes down on him during the final battle with father as ling recognizes what exactly it is he’s craving during those last moments. all he ever wanted was friends, people that genuinely cared about his wellbeing and would fight to the death to protect him, which is what makes him act to reckless and in the end, results in his death.

i guess one could call this pretty self-destructive, but it’s something that i am guilty of. i keep stuff bottled in because i’m afraid of the outcome, or how certain people would react if it ever came out. which is what often leads me to have very severe breakdowns, especially during a night of heavy drinking.

he’s also self-conscious about his appearance and i’m like,,, bitch me too, the fuck??

i dunno. there are certain characters that i will really cling to, and greed is one of them. he’s just such a good character, and has honestly helped me a lot recently. whenever i have surrendered to the zone™, i know i can turn to fma:b, and especially greed, to make me feel better. i dunno. he means a lot to me.

3. Do you have a favorite fan work? Fanfics? Comics?

if we’re still talking about fma, then, i know this is a copout answer, but all of the fan art i have seen from the fandom has been really great, and i appreciate all of it!!

for other things, there was this pokémon comic i read awhile back that was based on someone’s nuzlocke playthrough, and it was really funny and art and story are p good too! check it out: http://nuzlocke.com/index.php

and there’s also this winx club fan comic that is taking place with their kids, called “almost magical”. the author, Chocolatesmoothie, has been working on this for years and the character designs are absolutely amazing! what’s she’s written so far is great, so i highly recommend it (even if none of y’all even know what winx is): http://almostmagical.thecomicseries.com/comics/first

4. Hit me with an analysis/opinion you have on the series or characters!

uhhhhhh i guess giving an opinion on the show would be easier for me

so, i guess you could picture me a few months ago, having just finished 03 and finding the ending a bit of a let down. i was a bit hesitant when starting brotherhood because i remembered the drama it had initiated at my high school lunch table full of fucken nerds, and how they had absolutely hated what they had watched of it. it wasn’t until i had gotten to episodes that were completely knew to me (i.e. 15) that i realized, hot diggity damn, this is actually really good. i finished brotherhood relatively quickly (about two days), and started to delve more into the lore and the characters, because i basically loved everything about the series.

the story was one i had never seen before, and i adored how much care that arakawa put into all of her characters. it was especially refreshing how great all of the female characters in the story were, and how none of them were fetishized or used as cheap plot devices in any way; not even the epitome and lust and sexual desire was sexualized which is some gooooood shit, if i do say so myself. the world that she had built was rich and interesting, and no episode of the show had been dull to me, even ones where things took a little step back (i.e. 27 that’s literally titled interlude party).

the much faster pace that a lot of people complained about, honestly reminded me of the one of the biggest gripes that fans give to sailor moon crystal. however, i much prefer the faster pace, since it makes it closer to the original manga and cuts out of this unnecessary bullshit. i remember going through random episodes of 03 again and being in the 20′s, and i saw hughes in the opening, and being so confused as to how they had dragged out his death for so long. the impacts of events that take place in both versions of the anime still held profound effects on the characters, (maes’s death, nina’s transmutation, the discussions on winry’s parents, martel’s death, etc.) so it did not really bother me that maes dies so much sooner in brotherhood than 03. it still held great significance in the development of the characters of roy, winry, and the elric brother’s.

also the music is AMAZING. so good. i want to buy the ost someday. i was deadass jammin out to period while i was making my lunch today no lie. isso good.

5. Tell us about a project you have going on! Or if you don’t have one, maybe something you’ve always wanted to write or draw?

fma related, as of now, i’m finishing up the first part of a reader fic that i promised. i think it’s turned out p good. a hell of a lot longer than i expected it, but i feel good about it.

as for other fandoms, i’ve been in the process of writing this black butler fanfiction for months now and it has yet to be completed. i either don’t have the time to work on it, or i have no motivation to work on it, so we’ll see what happens lmfao.

something i’ve definitely been wanting to learn how to do is make really good gif edits because i keep hearing songs that would fit certain fma characters so well, and i just don’t have the capabilities to make them yet. hopefully someday though.

6. Favorite opening/ending number and why?

my favorite opening is definitely “period” by chemistry, and my favorite ending is what follows shortly after, which is “shunkan sentimental” by scandal. i have always been a sucker for really good guitar riffs, and the one that scandal has as their hook is just so good. mmmmmm. for period, the lead singer’s voice is an aspect i’ve always liked, he gets so passionate and it just works so well with the visuals that they’ve laid out on top of it--which are another part i’ve really liked about this duo.

with period there’s the big explosion that pride causes with his shadows as soon as the beat hits never fails to pump me up, and then there’s the fight with greed and wrath on the rooftop, and lan fan and fu being badasses, and hohenheim being all dramatic, and kimblee popping up outta nowhere to blow shit up, or when ed and al feeling as though they’ve been separated and that they’re all alone, when really, there are hundreds of people there to support them. it’s just... so good.

and with shunkan sentimental, with the transmutation energy flowing down the tunnels going to the guitar, or when ed’s team/greed team 2.0 show up and all look ready to kick some ass when the chorus comes around, and then there’s trisha and hohenheim being cutie pies, and winry making her way downtown with such spirit and purpose... eugh. such good songs. such good openings.

7. Tell me about a scene that really touched your or made you realize something about yourself.

a scene that almost immediately comes to mind is when greed kills bido, and it honestly becomes more and more powerful every time i re-watch the series. when ling finally manages to talk some sense into greed, the audience can truly see how tormented this realization makes him, and that someone who’s supposed to be so high and mighty, and have no other purpose than to strive for their ultimate self-actualization, literally breaks down because of what they had done to another person, a friend. he even goes so far to attack the man that he thinks is to blame, wrath, even when bradley is more than capable to taking greed down, since he was the one that captured him in the first place.

another scene i really like is when ed finally calls hohenheim “father” (even if it is stupid father), and then he travels to trisha’s grave to tell her what happened, before he dies with a smile on his face ;;

8. OTPs! Who are they? Why are you WEAK FOR THEM??

i’m just gonna stick with fma cuz otherwise we’d be here all day.

Royai → they deserve each other like,,, honestly. their bond and trust is so good. i literally screamed when riza got her neck slashed opened and then immediately started crying because she said that she wouldn’t die because she was “under strict orders not to.” bye i love them. and then roy acting like a pos, as though he’s talking to some random elizabeth flower girl when SYKE U FOOL, IT WAS REALLY I, RIZA ALL ALONG. and the constant joke where she has to save roy’s ass when he’s being overconfident in the rain. boi.... sit down.

Edling → ummm....two precious boys??? yes??? yes. this is a more recent one, and all the cute fan art that exists has only exacerbated my feelings towards them. they work so well together, and they support one another, and they’re just adorable bros. i dunno. they’re cutie beans.

Ed/Winry → (idk if they have a ship name forgive me) i was debating making this an ot3 with ling..... but i can talk about why these two specifically are v cute together. i honestly didn’t like winry that much when i first started, but then episode 22 happened. she’s very strong, kind, caring, smart, resourceful, and someone that had put up with ed’s shit for years. and if u didn’t at least crack a smile when ed did that whole “equivalent exchange” confession before he left on the train.... then u a dang liar.

Trisha/Hohenheim → *clutches heart* so good..... trisha was such a good woman. she saw hohenheim as a human being, as someone who deserved love, and deserved the children and loved ones that he had. she didn’t see him as the monster he constantly believed he was. she gave him hope, she understood him.... just.... so good. i love them.

i’ve also seen a lot of v cute art for ed/ling/greed or just ling/greed but idk if i ship them. they are v adorable though.

9. Funniest headcanon you’ve ever seen. Go!

well there’s the one i’ve seen floating around that bradley wears obnoxious hawaiian tshirts which is amazing.

and then kimblee’s garbage ass tipping his fucken fedora.... “m’lady”

my roommate and i have a personal headcanon for pride that instead of shadows, everyone calls them.... “twinkies” i have no recollection of why we decided this but it’s great.

10. What spurred you to join the fandom?

honestly, i try and stay away from the fandom of something i enjoy, because i’m worried about the cringe or nonsense that might happen. but my drunk ass had other plans and thus initiated all of my shit posts about greed. everyone has been really nice so far though!! and i’m even glad that there are still people even active on tumblr since i hopped on the fma bandwagon so late.

11. Definitely the same question… have a fandom meltdown here and tell me why you love your fandom or show/comic so much!

ladies and gentlemen, people of all ages, gather round, because i’m about to: overshare (:

when i first watched fma, it was during my month long winter break from college. i was so pumped to have an entire month to myself, and i had planned to do all of this stuff beforehand to keep myself occupied. finishing fma was one of my goals, and after i had finished brotherhood, i moved forward onto the next anime in my list which was k project. i got half-way through season 2 when i just... lost all interest.

i thought that i had just watched too much in too little time, so i decided to take a break from anime and instead try and pick up the sailor moon manga again, because it had been awhile since i read it. i got up to volume 6, and then stopped.

then i moved to playing smash or splatoon or even bayonetta, because if books and television weren’t keeping my attention, certainly my favorite games could, right? nope.

even the idea of turning on my wii u seemed so... pointless. it didn’t sound fun anymore.

at this point, i was feeling p drained every day and really bummed out. i was telling myself that i should not even think of self-diagnosing myself with some form of depression, but now that i can reflect on those last few weeks of break, i can come to the conclusion that i do have at least a mild case. i had brought up these feelings to my two friends (who had been clinically diagnosed) and told me that what i had experienced, were definitely indicators of a depressive episode.

around christmas is when i really started to isolate myself, and i hardly left my room. however, the cheritz team, the developers who make otome games, came out with a recent holiday dlc for their game mystic messenger, and that definitely helped me feel a lot better. i was finally interested in something again! but i was worried that once i had finished all of the routes, i would just return to that depressed state again.

as i was playing, i got tired of watching playthrough’s of games or even smash tournaments, so, i decided to put brotherhood back on again since i had enjoyed it so much. this time, however, i really took my time to enjoy every episode, and the week i spent revisiting the series, was honestly the happiest i had felt in awhile. it made me laugh, i appreciated the story and characters even more, and i definitely latched onto greed more-so during that time. he was the character i knew could make me laugh or smile, and i dunno, he means a lot to me.

i believe this is why i get to upset whenever someone tells me that they disliked brotherhood, or that they have not seen fma in general, because of how much it helped me, and how much it means to me. i understand now that i use it as a coping mechanism, and that (embarrassing as it might be) i often turn to greed especially when i’m feeling down.

there has been only one other show that i have consistently turned to whenever shit hits the fan and i need a good cheering up (robin hood bbc), so i really do mean it when i say that fma is special, and means a lot to me. it’s a bit bizarre how much of an impact its had on my life when i’ve only been involved in the fandom for about two months, but, it is what it is.

>>god this took so much longer than i thought it would im so sorry

I tag: @kamelothell​, @harmonicsynchronicity​, @sadlysweats​, @silicia​, @fabbyale​, @astralsweaters​, @xall4one​, @mean-bean-machines​

My questions (i made em as broad as possible since not everyone knows fma, even if that was the reoccurring theme sorry my dudes):

1. What fandom(s) are you most into right now?

2. Has said fandom(s) been involved in any drama lately?

3. Do you contribute to your various fandoms in any way? (fan-art, writing, videos, songs, photo edits)

4. Has any show/book/movie had any sort of significant impact on your life?

5. Which character do you feel as though you connect with the most? (from any of your fandoms!)

6. Is there one aspect about your favorite book/show/movie that you would like to change? Why or why not?

7. Is there one character that you absolutely cannot stand, whereas most other fans really like them?

8. Is there one ship that you absolutely cannot stand, whereas most other fans really like it?

9. Do you associate any songs with any of your favorite characters?

10. Which fandom have you been apart of the longest?

11. Would you say that you’ve had mostly good experiences with other fans? If not, then why do you think that is?

[stillgeekingout]

iiiiiiit’s time for another chapter of the ultimate aaron milverton crossover fic!

this one got obnoxiously long but bear with me. also, you have to have read part 2 of shannen’s secret santa fic for rachel for parts of it to make sense.

previous: 1 here, 2 here, 3 here, 4 here, 5 here, 6 here

A week after returning to DC, Zoe Lasnammer got a phone call from a girl.

“Hello?”

“Zoe! Is that you?”

It wasn’t Hera-- they hadn’t actually exchanged numbers, and Zoe had decided not to stalk her on facebook (no sense getting a crush on a girl who lived so many states away). So she had put away the pink ladies jacket, a keepsake from an enjoyable weekend and nothing more.

“Sorry, who is this?” Zoe asked. The girl’s voice sounded familiar, but she talked to a lot of people because of work so that didn’t help to narrow anything down.

“It’s me! Violet!”

“Violet…?” She tried to rack her brain for someone she may have talked to recently.

“Violet Hunter! Remember? I saved your life from a bus?”

“Wait--the alien girl?” Zoe couldn’t believe that this girl she barely knew would actually be contacting her two years after their brief meeting.

“I told you I’d call if I was ever in DC again!” Violet sounded excited. “Anyway--”

“How did you get this number?”

“I just moved here with my wife and husband,” Violet went on as if Zoe hadn’t said anything, “and I was thinking we should get lunch or something!” Zoe vaguely remembered the girl telling her something about a proposal in the works. Must’ve worked out, she thought.

“Violet, listen, I… enjoyed meeting you but I don’t know if--”

“How about tomorrow? I’ll meet you on your lunch break. You don’t have to bring the aliens.” And with that, Violet hung up.

Zoe stared at her phone, unsure what exactly had just happened.

------

To: Aaron Milverton

Subject: Checking in

Hey bro, how’s everything going? I haven’t heard from you since the con, I want to know all the awesome stuff you and your chapter are achieving!

-Chad

The email from Chad came almost exactly one month after Aaron realized he had feelings for him. It had been a month of moving forward, of settling into his brand new Orlando B4B chapter, and most importantly, of attempting to distract himself from thoughts of Chad. He had almost started succeeding at it, too, before Chad apparently felt the urge to “check in” with him. Which meant that Chad was thinking about him. Which meant that of course Aaron would have to spend the rest of the day thinking about Chad thinking about him. All that progress, right down the drain.

It wasn’t like he had intended to cut Chad out of his life. But how was he supposed to carry on a friendship with Chad if the whole time he was thinking about how pretty (and unavailable) he was? How would he even go about starting that conversation? Hey dude, sorry I acted so weird before, it’s just that every time I see you or think about you I get all flustered and have to lie down. But it’s cool, what’s up with you? What a disaster.

Now, though, here was Chad breaking the awkward month-long silence. He had cared enough to reach out to Aaron and ask about his life. Even with romantic feelings set aside, Aaron found it reassuring that he hadn’t been imagining Chad wanting to be friends with him beyond just organizing the con. If only he could get over himself and enjoy that friendship for what it was.

He decided to text Kate. Ever since she found out that he hadn’t told her about his correspondence with Chad the first time around, she had been giving him a hard time about keeping secrets from her. Maybe she’d have advice. Either way, it’d make her feel like he was including her.

so chad emailed me

?????????

aaron you can’t just say that and not follow up with details

hellooooo

he just said he wanted to “check in” on my new chapter

idk what to say back

talk to him!!!

ok but. how.

tell him about the chapter you dork

He started typing “why, it’s not like that’ll change his mind about anything” then deleted it. Then he typed “idk if I really want to be friends with him when I’m finally starting to” and stopped again. Starting to what? Get over him? Stop thinking about him? Both of those went out the window as soon as he saw that email. His phone vibrated as he was typing his third attempt.

stop overthinking it bc I know that’s what you’re doing

Aaron smiled.

can’t help it

I know.

I think you’ll regret losing a potential friendship

but idk, if you really don’t think you can handle it maybe just break it off

that makes me sound so fragile lol

um, are you not?

shut up

stop texting me and write the damn email aaron

He sighed and tossed his phone aside.

Chad,

He watched his cursor blink on the screen for several minutes, then closed his email and opened a word document. He had seen enough movies to know never to write an “I’m not actually going to send this” email somewhere it could be sent accidentally.

Chad,

I don’t know if I’m happy to hear from you. I keep telling myself you’re just a crush and I’ll get over it soon, but it feels like more than that sometimes. I’ve had some weird dating experiences in the past… or I guess just the one. I told you a little about my ex-girlfriend (who I usually try not to think about) but what I didn’t tell you is that she was involved in my cousin’s murder, and she was basically using me to investigate him. It’s a long story, but I really liked her and it was hard to move on from that knowing that I never meant anything to her except evidence. So anyway ever since then I’ve just been extra cautious, I guess.

It’s kind of scary to like someone again, and I’m not sure if it makes it worse or better knowing ahead of time that the person in question isn’t going to want to date me. It does make me feel better that you’re not dating anyone, not just rejecting me specifically. I don’t know if I ever stood a chance with you, or if you even like guys, but I selfishly don’t want to have to imagine you with someone else.

That sounds really creepy. I’m sorry. It’s a really good thing I’m not actually going to send this.

Anyway, um, give me some time to decide if I still want to be friends. I do, logically, but we’ll see if I can stop thinking about your eyes and hair and smile and voice every time I’m reminded of you.

Time to write my normal email that I’m actually gonna send.

-Aaron

He closed word and opened his email again, feeling like he had gotten all the hard stuff out of the way.

Chad,

So good to hear from you-- thanks for following up! We’re doing really well here, we just started a beach clean-up project along with a few high schools along the coast that already have cleaning days set in place. Also, B4B is a registered club at UCF now so we’ve teamed up with them for some new initiatives…

He went on to describe everything his chapter had been doing since the con, taking care not to get too personal in case Chad really did just want to check in from a service standpoint. He finished the email with “what about you, how are things on your end? -Aaron” and sent it before he could over analyze it too much.

------

“Zoe! Hey, Zoe!”

Zoe was greeted at the steps of her job by an excitedly waving Violet Hunter. She sighed. She knew Violet’s heart was (probably) in the right place, but she didn’t overly feel like befriending this girl who was convinced that Blair and Alex were aliens (and who had stalked her to the point of finding out her phone number, the location she worked and the time of her lunch break).

“Hey, Violet,” she said. “I guess I won’t bother to ask how you found me.”

“You could,” said Violet proudly. “I did it alone, Sherlock lives here now too but she never helps me with this stuff.”

“Okay?” Zoe didn’t know who Sherlock was, and she didn’t actually want to know how Violet tracked her down.

“So, lunch?” Violet said brightly. “Sorry Eliza and John couldn’t make it, I wanted them to meet you. That’s my wife and husband.”

“Um, right. Hey, congratulations on that,” said Zoe, suddenly feeling very single next to a girl with two spouses.

“Thanks! I still wish we could’ve had Blair’s alien fountain magic for the proposal but I’m mostly just glad I didn’t have to do it.”

“There’s a sandwich place around the corner,” Zoe said, not wanting to talk about Blair with Violet.

“Great!” Violet started walking, and Zoe had to skip a little to catch up.

“So, what brings you to DC?” Zoe asked, figuring if Violet was going to insist on hanging out they might as well get to know each other.

“John and Eliza are working at the Smithsonian. And I’m sort of helping Sherlock.”

“Oh, ok.” She didn’t know where to go from there. She still didn’t know who Sherlock was.

“How are Blair and Alex?” Violet asked, narrowing her eyes. “Are you still their companion?”

“Again, I wouldn’t phrase it like that… but they’re fine.”

“And how does your family feel about you living with aliens?”

“Um, it’s just my mom. And she doesn’t know.”

“Ohhhh,” Violet said, then whispered, “Would she compromise the mission?”

“What? No,” said Zoe. “There is no mission.”

“Riiiiight,” said Violet, and winked. “Ooh, is this it? Yum.” They had reached the sandwich shop.

Zoe made small talk for the rest of lunch, but she was distracted by what Violet had said. It was a bit odd, she realized, that she had been living with Alex and Blair in DC for over two years and her mom still thought they were humans. Zoe had introduced them a couple times when her mom was visiting, but she never let them interact with her for long and she made sure Alex used the same human form every time. Her mom had a hard enough time figuring out “they” pronouns, how would she process the truth about Zoe’s godly friends?

But on the other hand, Zoe was used to telling her mom everything. This was such a big secret, one she had gotten used to keeping, but would she just continue it for the rest of her life? It was bad enough being so far away from her mom. Not being able to share every silly thing her friends said or did without heavily filtering her stories was draining after a while.

Zoe couldn’t believe it had taken a very confused (but well-meaning) conspiracy theorist stalker to make her see sense, but she resolved to tell her mom the truth while she was home for Thanksgiving. And at the end of lunch, she found herself agreeing to meet up with Violet again later that week.

------

Aaron,

Sounds fire! I’m really happy for you that you found a good group of people. We’ve been so blessed throughout this whole thing. I feel completely sure now that Blair is watching over us and that she’s proud of us. You indirectly gave me that knowledge through holding the con, and I continue to be grateful for it.

Anyway, enough about B4B, how are you? How’s Kate? How are your parents and Madison? Do they miss you?

-Chad

Aaron read the email several times. Chad continuing to thank him was silly. He owed Aaron no thanks, considering he had started everything in the first place. None of them would have been able to meet Blair, let alone know who she was, without his dedication. More than that, though, it struck him that Chad remembered not only Kate but his little sister’s name and cared enough to ask about both of them.

This time, he didn’t feel the need to write a fake response.

My family’s doing pretty well, I think. I’m going to visit for Thanksgiving so that should be good. Maybe they miss having me around but honestly Orlando is closer to Jacksonville than Doyle was. Maddie keeps saying she wants to come visit me so she can go to Disney World. I don’t think she gets that it’s not cheaper just because I live here now.

He went on to talk about his parents a little more and how he was sure they would buy Disney tickets for winter break to see the Christmas decorations even though they knew it would be miserable and crowded. Then he told Chad about Kate and her latest endeavors.

I’m really grateful to have her to talk to… it gets a little lonely here sometimes. The other members of my new chapter are really great but I don’t know them too well yet. It does make me miss my SACU group. We still talk a little and I’m always happy to hear from them but it’s just hard not to have that dynamic that I got used to over the past couple years, you know?

Chad’s response:

I know I can’t replace your school friends and I know you can still rely on Kate, but I want you to know I’m here for you too if you need someone else to talk to. I care about you, bro.

It was more than Aaron could handle. He shut his laptop and took deep breaths.

Over the next several weeks, they continued emailing back and forth. Sometimes Aaron confessed his true feelings in his secret word document, other times he texted Kate in frustration, but mostly he savored every time he saw that Chad had replied. He had tried to look at it as an opportunity for friendship, but it was futile. With every email he fell for Chad more and more.

Why did Blair have to encourage Chad’s sworn singledom? Would Chad be interested in something beyond friendly email correspondence if she hadn’t? Would that even matter, considering they didn’t live in the same place? Why couldn’t Aaron move on?

------

“Let’s go over it one more time,” said Zoe, putting her van in park in her mom’s driveway. “You guys don’t say anything until I bring it up. Then Alex will change forms, but only when I’ve said that it’s ok, and then--”

Blair sighed from the passenger seat, absentmindedly fiddling with the necklace she always wore. “Zoe, honestly, I don’t see what the big deal is. I told your mother we were gods years ago.”

“And then we’ll explain, but just the basics, and nothing about all those people you vaporized,” Zoe finished, ignoring her. “I don’t want her to think I’m living with serial killers.”

“Alex has never killed anyone, have you Alex?” Blair said, as though cutting it down to only one serial killer was helpful.

“Nope!” Alex said brightly. “Well I mean, unless you count the people in the fire…”

“No bringing up the fire either. No murders, no accidental arson, just two benevolent gods who happen to like living with a human… because she’ll believe that,” Zoe said, doubting her whole plan. “Agh, why didn’t I do this sooner? Now she’s going to know I’ve been lying to her for years.”

“It’s ok,” said Alex. “She’ll understand. And we’re here for you no matter what.”

Zoe took a deep breath, then unbuckled her seat belt. “Okay,” she said, exhaling. “Let’s do this.”

------

Hey bro, would you believe I have a layover in the JAX airport on my way to Miami for Thanksgiving? Made me think of you.Too bad I don’t have enough time to come visit, that would’ve been sweet. But dude, we’ll be in the same city for a few minutes at least. Kind of a nice thought.

-Chad

If he didn’t want to actually kill Aaron, Chad was going to have to stop being so cute. It was too much to deal with.

Chill, Aaron told himself, you’ll be in the slight geographical vicinity of each other for like, half an hour. Big whoop.

He managed to talk himself out of several hastily-concocted reasons to be at the airport on the same day as Chad’s layover; it wasn’t like he would get past TSA without a flight anyway. He attempted (unsuccessfully, for the most part) to push the email out of his mind.

Being home for Thanksgiving was a welcome distraction. Between helping his parents clean the house for guests and hanging out with his little sister, Aaron was almost busy enough to forget about his loneliness and his unrequited crush and all the other things that were bothering him. Key word: almost. He couldn’t help but occasionally remember that he and Chad would be in the same city and not be able to see each other.

On Tuesday morning, he and Madison were watching Moana on the couch when he got an email notification.

Hey dude! Hope your break is going well. Funny story, my second flight is majorly delayed so I’m stuck in Jacksonville until tonight! I don’t know how close you are to the airport or if you have stuff going on with the fam but did you want to get lunch or something? Btw, I’m realizing email probs isn’t the best for making plans- text me if you see this.

And then Chad had given Aaron his number.

The very first thing Aaron did was text Kate a screenshot of the email with many exclamation points. Then he opened a text to Chad and wrote “bro it’s aaron, omw to the airport now :)” Then he took off the smiley face, added an exclamation point, and sent it.

“Hey Maddie, I’ll be back later, okay?” he said, standing up. “I’m going to get lunch with my friend.”

“But you’re gonna miss away away!” Maddie said. “Away away” was what she called the song that the explorers sang in the flashback. Even two years after the movie had come out, she was obsessed with it. Aaron had already heard the soundtrack at least three times the day before.

“We can watch it again when I get back,” he said. “Promise.”

He told his parents he was meeting a friend from B4B who’d had an unexpected layover, then drove to the airport as fast as his law-abiding self would allow. As he was pulling into the pickup/dropoff section of the airport, his phone rang. He answered, not stopping to look who was calling.

“Hello?”

“Aaaaaaahhhhh!”

“Kate, chill,” he said. (Of course it wasn’t Chad.) “We’re going to lunch, it’s not like it’s a date.”

“I maintain my ‘aaaaahhhhh’,” Kate said. “Are you on your way to the airport?”

“Pulling in now, yeah.” He realized he hadn’t texted Chad to tell him where to go.

“Are you gonna eat there? Or are you going somewhere? Did he say anything else? Are you--”

“Kate!” Aaron cut her off. “I don’t know where we’re going. I have to tell him I’m here though, so--”

“Oh of course, I don’t want to hold you up!” But she kept talking anyway. “Aah I can’t believe he’s going to be in your car! Ok well remember every detail, I want the full story when you get home.”

“Obviously,” he said. “But nothing’s going to happen.”

“Mhmmmmm,” Kate said. “Ok, love you.”

“You too. Bye,” he said, and hung up.

Aaron texted Chad to tell him that he was outside and what his car looked like. Then he sat and waited nervously. Since the last time he had seen Chad, his feelings had only grown stronger. It was one thing to reply to emails where he could take time to compose a response. It would be quite another thing to carry on a conversation with Chad in person, something he had failed at every time he had attempted it so far. Not to mention they would be alone in his car.

Just then, he spotted Chad walking towards his car. He was exactly as gorgeous as Aaron remembered, even after being on a plane for several hours.

Be normal, he thought. You guys are friends. He doesn’t have to know about the rest of it.

He got out of the car to help Chad with his luggage, then wished he hadn’t because he felt silly. Not knowing what else to do then, he waved. “Hey, Chad!”

Chad caught sight of him, and his face lit up. “Aaron!” He rushed over to the car, setting down his bags and giving Aaron a standard one-arm frat boy hug, which Aaron tried not to make weird.

“Hey,” Aaron said. “Good to see you, man.” He wasn’t sure what else to say. As they got in the car, Aaron was glad that he was driving so it would be easy to resist looking at Chad too much. He didn’t know what he would do once they got to lunch.

“So, there’s a Chick-Fil-A we could go to, I don’t know what you’re in the mood for,” he said.

“Oh, um, actually I’m a vegetarian now,” said Chad. Of course he was.

“All right… Denny’s?”

“Fire,” said Chad. They drove in silence, which was awkward, but Aaron didn’t know what to say.

They had been seated at the restaurant and still hadn’t said anything. Aaron was wracking his brain for any conversation starter, but Chad talked first.

“Denny’s reminds me of college,” he said. “We had one on campus and we used to go there when we got hungry at 2 AM.”

“Same,” said Aaron. “I guess it’s a staple of the American university system.”

“True that,” said Chad, and the ice was broken. They went on talking throughout the meal as if nothing was strange between them. Aaron tried to enjoy it while he could, and also spent a lot of time looking down at his plate so as not to accidentally stare at Chad’s smile or his eyes. He kept repeating to himself that he and Chad were friends, that Chad wasn’t interested in him romantically, and that it didn’t matter either way because Chad had sworn off dating. He didn’t want to delude himself into thinking that his feelings could be reciprocated. Was an unrequited crush that you knew was doomed from the start better than uncertainty?

“Not to make light of your inconvenience, but I’m really glad you had that delay,” Aaron said when they had finished eating and were waiting on the check. “I’m glad we got to hang out.”

“Me too, bro,” said Chad, and he reached out and put his hand over Aaron’s, which was resting on the table. Aaron suppressed a nervous laugh, willing himself not to meet Chad’s eyes. He couldn’t help it-- he felt a little glimmer of hope bubbling up in the back of his brain.

“Chad…” he started to say, but the waiter showed up with their checks and Chad moved his hand away. Aaron would have left his hand under Chad’s for another hour if he could have. Pathetic.

Chad cleared his throat and blinked several times as if nothing had happened. Aaron hastily changed the subject. They left Denny’s and started heading back to the airport, Aaron wishing for something to fall in the middle of the road and stop them from getting there. He wanted to pass the airport and keep driving all the way up into Georgia and beyond. He never wanted to let Chad leave his car. Who knew when the next time they would see each other would be? But alas, they reached the airport with no problems.

They sat in the parked car for a few long moments. “It’s been really nice seeing you, dude,” Chad finally said.

“Yeah,” said Aaron, looking over at Chad and accidentally meeting his eyes. He thought he felt something shift in that moment, like there was some kind of possibility that maybe his bubble of hope hadn’t been completely unfounded. He leaned towards Chad an infinitesimal amount, and he couldn’t be sure, but he thought that Chad did the same. They stayed that way for another long moment before Chad suddenly cleared his throat again and jerked away.

“Uh, I need to go,” he said. “I don’t want to miss my flight.” He started to get out of the car and reach for his luggage in the backseat.

“Right, right of course,” Aaron said. As Chad said goodbye and walked away, Aaron felt all of his brief optimism leaving with him. Well, he would have a lot to tell Kate.

[aurimeanswind]

Long Week, Longer Days—Sunday Chats (3-19-17)

Long, stress-filled week. Longer days each ending with poor, or lack of sleep. It’s been a rough one, but we carry on. Two years of writing don’t stop for bad weeks, but this one has been a rough one indeed.

Complications

To pull back the curtain, part the kimono, if I may, on what’s been going on in my life, let’s run down the gambit. Not looking for pity, just looking to give context for what’s been happening to me this week.

My dad got surgery this week. It went well, but he didn’t think he needed to tell me until the day before. He is okay, but in a lot of pain, and that’s just been stressing me out since Wednesday.

Some person was using a picture of me as their twitter picture and sending mean/rude things to folks in the Kinda Funny community and the video games industry. Obviously they didn’t have my twitter handle, didn’t hack my account, or anything too out there, but the confusion is still something to take advantage of. What hurts me is that someone was specifically doing this. A person was behind this. I don’t know why someone would consider this okay, or would want to do this to me. They’ve since changed off of my picture, but it still hurts me that someone hated me so much that they’d want to do that. :/

Obviously PAX work is good work, and there is so much amazing PAX East 2017 content up on IrrationalPassions.com, that you should check out, but it’s very stressful. Being in high stress while these other factors go on is not good for me. It’s made me anxious and depressed in a way that isn’t good for me.

On top of that, my weekend in Boston was very rough around the edges. A lot of interpersonal drama that had me on edge. In addition to worrying for my team, trying to make sure everyone was having a good time, and making sure folks got to their appointments on time and got their work done (and still need to get their work done), it was a bad meeting in the middle.

Colin Moriarty leaving Kinda Funny was hugely upsetting to me. Say what you will about the man, he is a massive part of why I entered the video games industry. I feel as though his perspective has changed a bit over the last six to nine months, sure, but I still respect him a great deal, and he has been a massive influence on my life. I was genuinely heartbroken this past Monday.

Good things that came out of this past week as well, including some incredibly kind things from my friends and compatriots in the video games industry. The amazing work that my team of professional and talented writers at IrrationalPassions.com have done. The amazing support that folks have given Irrational Passions over the last week. I’m surrounded by seemingly infinite kinder and more talented folks that give me way more adoration than I deserve, but that kindness pushes me, encourages me, and drives me forward. As much as two wrongs absolutely don’t make a right, they make things worse, I firmly believe that kindness begets kindness.

Pay it forward. Be good. Be kind.

Please.

To get to a slightly darker place, a reflection of my inner thoughts of late:

Lost in Commitment

I feel terrible about my work ethic lately. My rut has only marginally gotten better since February. I promised that I’d get Case Study running by the end of this month and I just can’t imagine that happening. But we’ll see.

I haven’t finished anything substantial lately. I want to sit down and get some scripts done, or write a really in-depth feature like my Twilit Ghost Towns piece again, but I am so garbled and disconnected. I can’t focus through any writing project now.

Things need to change.

Maybe it’s just my depression killing me, but I’m working on a piece that’ll go up soon (hopefully), and then after that I am gonna try and get some real, long-form projects done.

But I hate it right now. I hate myself right now, insofar as work ethic is concerned. Everything I start writing I hate. It sounds terrible, or melodramatic, or bullshit artsy for the sake of being bullshit artsy. I know I’m an esoteric writer, and it’s in my nature to be like that, but I’ve been hating it so much lately. So. Sooooo. Much.

We’ll see. It’s just been boggling me down as of late.

And back to a happier place...

Lost in Hyrule

The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild is maybe the game I’ve played the most of in over two years. I guess The Witcher 3 would still be more for me, but I plan on playing much more Zelda, probably up until the moments when Persona 5 comes out.

Never before has a game enchanted me in a the way this has. Never before have I wanted to stop and look at the scenery, to take the world in, to pop a squat, take a knee, breath it all in. It’s beautiful, it’s engrossing, and it’s almost literally all I can think about. I haven’t felt this giddy or joyous playing a game since the last visit to one of my all time favorite games ever. Maybe Persona 4 Golden was genuinely the last title I played that brought such raw joy out of me.

It’s definitely been difficult for me to stomach criticism. I speak of it a lot, that sensitivity to any and all criticism to the things you love the most. I speak of it so familiarly because it’s something I must reconcile with myself on a near constant basis. For me, in my experience, this game is stellar and masterful in almost all ways, to a degree that it’s difficult to believe it could not be for some other folks. But most assuredly it isn’t.

If anything, playing this game, I’m surprised that so many people do like this game. It’s mechanics are so raw that if anything, it should be off putting to more people. I think there is a merit to it’s execution that so many folks are finding many things to love with this game.

But we all have to take that step back. Recognize that experience is personalized. That someone can love this can. That someone can hate this game. It’s recognizing and respecting the craftsmanship and also the experience of others that we shouldn’t lose sight on. This is true of both sides of the argument.

But uh, I love the game. I’ll make that obvious here so that if maybe you don’t like it as much, you don’t have to begrudge me. Not that anyone has, I just don’t know how well I’ll take it when someone inevitably comes at me at an 11 saying that the game is overrated and bad. I’ll try and be dignified, but this game is currently sitting at #2 on my all time favorites ever list, and that is quite a feat. It’ll be difficult for me to come down from that to have a discussion as to why it’s mechanics work for me and maybe not someone else, but hey: i’m gonna try.

I’ve played about 90 hours of it. I can’t wait to play more.

What’s on Tap

Other things I’ve been playing...

Spectre of Torment

I’ll be reviewing this for IP at some point, but I do want to put out there that I’m digging this new Shovel Knight piece!

It seems a little stripped down by comparison to some of the charming set dressings of the original and the Plague of Shadows DLC, but it’s still very cool.

I’ll say I think it plays a bit better and a bit smoother than Plague of Shadows did. The scythe mechanics and using them as angular double-jump-esque attacks is very cool. Using attacks in traversal is fun in a way I wouldn’t have expected.

Iron Fist

I did want to talk about this a bit, since I have been obsessing over it, as I do with all Marvel Netflix Series.

First of all, I think I like the show a lot more than most folks. There seems to be a total lack of respect for the amazing cinematography, and good GOD is the music soooooo so good. It’s very cyberpunk/Deus Ex/Stranger Things, and I love it so goddamn much.

That being said, the acting on this show seems like, the worst of all the Marvel Netflix shows? It’s so hard to believe Danny Rand sometimes. Like he can be so bad, especially around midseason where I am.

That, and around episode 7/8 the show just feels like it completely loses its focus. Like, why are the things happening, happening? I have no clue. Where in gods name does it go from here? Where’s the focus or thru line? I mean, Daredevil Season 2 faced this same problem, but it felt like it had surprises left ahead of it. I have no fuckin’ clue where Iron Fist is going and it just seems like nothing would make it more interesting.

There was actually a scene where someone shut a car door, and the camera cut to a shot of a cell phone in the car then falling from the armrest between the two front seats falling between the seats because the car door closed so hard, and I out loud said “what the fuck is this shit” to no one in my home.

Like, I am still angry about that completely dumb and arbitrary plot point. Fuck that so much.

I like how the fight scenes feel like river motions though. People have been complaining that they are over-choreographed, but I enjoy how fluid and in control Danny seems in his fights. I think it’s cool. It can be weird sometimes, but for the most part I think it works.

Questions

Good lord. I don’t know. I think I might spend tomorrow (my day off) just away from it all. Phone off, twitter closed, and away from things.

I really wish I could focus. I can’t write or start something without hating it a day later. Maybe I just need to start writing some all-in-one-day pieces. But I wrote above about how I’ve been feeling terrible about my work and work ethic lately. I just don’t know where to go, and I want to get more video stuff done, and I need to get more video stuff done if I hope to get a job in the industry, so maybe finding a place to focus in on that would help get this anxiety building up in my out, and help me decompress.

It’d also be real nice if I could get away from some drama for a bit. It’s been out of my life for such a good long time, and just got too much of a hearty does of it this past weekend.

Honestly I don’t know. Open to suggestions? I just need something to help me not feel as shitty. Maybe some good music.

Ohhhh man. This is a tough one.

I won't spoil any of the main things here, since the dungeons and the things around those, which are a lot like action set-pieces are so rad that they’re worth seeing before hearing.

But I’m gonna talk about some stuff.

Getting the Master Sword was amazing. How it all happened and working up to getting it was absolutely fantastic. It’s such a good way it goes about things, and then using that thing to fuck UP some Guardians was like... Man, it was fucking incredible. Holy shit.

I also engaged in a fight with a Blue-Maned Lynel, one of the centaur monsters from previous Zelda games, which manifest as maybe the hardest enemy is this game, and HOLY SHIT. It was SO GOOD. It was genuinely as satisfying as some fights in Bloodborne/Dark Souls have been, and these dudes are essentially standard enemies.

There was a side quests that involved climbing a snowy mountain and helping a very massive creature that was absolutely fucking breath taking. Climbing the mountain, fighting some beasts, and then facing that massive thing were all amazing. Holy crow.

I could name probably fourteen other cool things, but I’m just gonna say this.

Eventide Island.

Goddamn.

Wow. Pretty passive aggressive putting me on blast like this on my own weekly write up, don't you think? 

So i guess never now. Good job Quin.

Kidding. Honestly, I keep forgetting who all I want to have on that have still never been on. I think I’m gonna make a list. We are going to be Nabeshin-less for a couple months after next week, so we need fourth chair fillers. You’re on the list bud.

Hrm. This is a tough question. I think my younger self would be humbled honestly. One, the places I’ve gone and the people i’ve met (sing song in the background), but when I was younger I always considered myself lazy.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still fucking lazy as all get out, but at least I’ve gotten shit done. When I’ve set my mind to it, I really do things, and they get done. It may put my younger self a bit at ease to know that I am going for my dream, I’m doing cool things along the way, and I’m (for the most part) really happy doing it.

At least, I’d hope.

Haha, I love you too buddy.

But that’s not a fucking question goddammit Trevor what the hell? 

Just kidding <3

Overall in games media, it’s easily Ryan Davis. Every single opening I do to Irrational Passions Podcast is an homage to that man. The kindness he showed me when I first met him, as the first person I ever met in the games industry, is something I try and show everyone I meet to this day. Folks I follow and am friends with don’t know him very much if at all now, and it’s such a massive bummer. “Hey Everybody it’s Tuesday” is a part of my very being. It’s part of who I am. That sensation of having your guard destroyed and feeling like you’re best friends with someone as soon as you meet them, I try and give that to every person I meet. I know I’m not nearly as good at it as Ryan was, but I try. 

But in the industry today? I may honestly say some of the Easy Allies. A combination of Kyle Bosman’s skepticism, Michael Huber’s hype, and Brandon Jones’ honesty. The three of them I think are all distinct influences on who I’ve shaped up to be over the last year, with obvious voices like Colin Moriarty, Jeff Gerstmann, many of the other industry vets from around the country. The long-timers speak to me and my sensibilities a lot more than the more fresh faces, that’s for sure.

Oh, and Austin Walker and Patrick Klepek, of course. The two of them are the homies.

Brb, on my way.

But for real, I hope you know cool places we can hang out when I come hangout in July. I just hope that you don’t get sick of me after 20 minutes.

As far as favorite character in Clue...

Well I’m about to be the biggest disappointment in your life. I’ve never seen Clue, the film, the cinematic experience. I’ve also never played Clue, the home-entertainment marvel.

But like, if I had to take a stab, a genuine guess knowing me and my sensibilities... Well, I’d probably say...

I’ve not seen the hip wiggle, but I’ve heard a lot of chatter about butts in regards to this game? I guess? Apparently there is a large obsession with butts, on the internet, in video games. WHO KNEW?!

I would very much like to Play Nier Automata, and I don’t want to sleep on it, because I think I’ve slept on too many Platinum games in the past. I need to see this game for myself! And I know for sure Nabeshin loves it, and that’s enough for me.

I DID know that, see above.

As for his birthday? See below.

I am A-okay with recycled questions if they’re good ones.

This is tough. There are plenty of genres that I bet if I had gotten in on day-one I would have loved but never ended up doing so, like RTS with Starcraft/Warcraft or Driving Sims with Forza or something like that. 

Here are a couple.

I wish I had gotten in on Halo 1 instead of just a couple years ago. I feel like I’d have a much great reverie for that series if I was “in on the hype” and playing multiplayer with everyone at the same time.

Hitman is also a really good one. This latest Hitman seems like a real gem, but I know if I went and played it now I’d just power through all the content and not play it like almost everyone else did, trickling away at everything there is to do in each area.

I wish I had jumped in at Mass Effect 1 instead of Mass Effect 2. This is a huge one I always talk about, but I definitely believe that even though I love Mass Effect 2 to this day, and it’s one of my all time favs, I’d love it even more if I had played ME1 years before.

Those are all I can think of now, but I’m sure there are more. That’s a really great question.

Special Birthday Shoutout 

I do wanna take a moment to give a special birthday shoutout to my dude Trevor Starkey. It’s his birthday today, and he’s really sick, and I love that guy. He is lovely and wonderful.

Happy birthday dude! I hope you had a relaxing and wonderful day Mr. 32! Crazy to think we’ve been friends for almost two years.

Go check out TrevorTrove.com and see his cool PAX East content, and of course listen to Trove Talk!

Okay, for real, that’s all I got. I think I am gonna order some pizza, snuggle up under some blankets, and respond to some emails.

Thank you all for your support. Thank you all for working and pursuing your dreams. Thank you all for your positivity. Thank you all for being there for me, and to making me believe that the internet is a good, wonderful place, when for a lot of other folks it isn’t. Good begets good, don’t forget that.

With all that said and done, we out.

Keep it real.