#ohhh also when i say behind the scenes

[nikatyler]

I love the dynamic between my three main vampires and one of them isn't even in the main story

[al-luviec]

still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)

[tonyspank]

WH0 R U 2???

Summary: Tara wakes up at her attractive Professor’s home.

Warnings: 18+ smut, g!p reader (literally think r is a service top??? idk? sorry for the dom’s & subs 😭)

A/N: pt.3 will not but smutty but bloody (there are different ghostfaces who r y’all suspecting?) also the smut scene was inspired by my b-day gift @wol-fica i love u

part 1

Tara woke up with the world's biggest headache. When she sat up in the random bed she had just awakened in, she realized she was in a completely unfamiliar room. The walls were white, with some paintings here and there, and the room was filled with a faint scent of lavender.

Tara left the bed, her head pounding with each step she took. She stumbled towards the door, trying to remember how she ended up in this strange place.

As she makes her way down the hallway, coffee begins to fill her nostrils. She follows the scent and finds herself in a cozy kitchen, where a pot of freshly brewed coffee sits on the counter. "You're awake, a voice says from behind her.

Startled, Tara turns around to see her professor, and suddenly, all of her memories rush back to her.

"Leaving already?" Frankie asks, raising an eyebrow. Tara hesitates, unsure of how to respond. She just nods, "Yeah, my... my rides here." Frankie keeps his gaze fixed on her, his expression unreadable. Tara can feel the weight of his scrutiny, making her even more uncomfortable.

"Oh damn, well, let me walk you out." Frankie offers, breaking the silence. Tara's heart races as they make their way towards the exit, unsure of what's going on. It was obvious Frankie wanted to get into her pants; he'd been following her the entire night.

You notice Tara at the exit, looking slightly flustered and uneasy. You quickly exit your car and walk to her. "You're her ride?" A brown-haired boy asks you.

"Yeah, I'm her ride," you confirm, giving the boy a curious look. The brown-haired boy gives you a skeptical look before reluctantly stepping aside, allowing you to approach Tara. As you reach her side, you offer a reassuring smile, hoping to ease her discomfort.

Tara's eyes drop to your attire, taking in your sleepwear. A wife-beater and black boxers that matched your black Nike socks. You notice this, "Sorry, I just woke up about five minutes ago."

"All good...Professor." Tara smiles. You shake your head, "Y/N is just fine. You're in my kitchen, after all. No need for formalities." Tara blushes and nods, "Right, sorry. Y/N it is then."

You chuckle softly, "No need to apologize, Tara. Can I offer you some coffee?" Tara gratefully accepts the offer, "I could definitely use a cup. Thank you, Y/N." She takes a seat at the kitchen table as you start pouring a fresh cup of coffee.

"Do you need me to drop you off?" Tara tries to take a sip of her coffee, but it's too hot, causing her to wince in pain spilling a bit on her hand. "Shit! That's hot!" Tara exclaims, quickly pulling her hand away from the cup. You rush to grab a napkin, softly grasping her hand and gently wiping away the spilled coffee.

"But, um, yeah, I'd love a ride if you don't mind," Tara mutters, ignoring the fluttering of her heart as you touch her hand. She tries to hide her blush by taking a deep breath and looking away, but the warmth of your touch lingers.

"Of course." Your phone begins ringing, interrupting the moment. You quickly apologize and grab your phone from the kitchen counter. You answer the phone without looking at the caller ID. A deep voice on the other end of the line.

"Hello, Y/N." You scratch your head, trying to place the voice. It sounds vaguely familiar, but you can't quite place it.

The voice clears its throat, and your ear is soon filled with Laura's laugh. "Haven't you watched Stab?"

"Ohhh! Yeah, I just did yesterday." You chuckle, realizing that the deep voice was an imitation of a character from the movie. "How's your mom? She doing better?"

Laura's laughter subsides as she replies, "She's slowly recovering, thanks for asking. The doctors say she should be back on her feet in a few weeks." You feel relieved to hear the positive update about Laura's mom and express your well wishes for her continued recovery.

"Anywho! I was just calling because I wanted to know how your first lecture was. Did everyone behave?"

You chuckle and respond, "Well, it was definitely an interesting experience. The students were well-behaved, and I was actually surprised by their level of engagement. It seems like they're all eager to learn and participate in class discussions."

Laura hums over the phone, "Are you sure you're talking about my students?" You laugh and say, "Seriously. They were great." Laura pauses for a moment before replying, "That's good...I have to go now, take care, Y/N."

You bid Laura farewell and promise to keep her updated on any future classroom developments. Tara speaks up when you set down your phone, "Was that Professor Crane?" You nod and say, "Yes, it was. She was just checking in on you guys."

Tara nods, taking a sip of her now slightly cooled-down coffee. "I'm going to take a shower, and I'll be back in a bit. Let me know whenever you're ready to leave."

"Wait, uh, do you know where my phone is?" Tara asks, glancing around the room. You remember plugging it up near the kitchen counter when you arrived home yesterday.

You point towards the kitchen counter and say, "I think it's over there, by the sink." Tara thanks you and heads towards the kitchen to retrieve it, but her head turns as she watches you leave the room, pulling your tank top over your head, revealing your toned back.

Blushing slightly, Tara quickly averts her gaze and focuses on finding her phone.

When Tara finally finds her phone, she realizes that she has missed several calls and messages, mostly from Sam.

But her heart truly drops when she realizes your name is at the top of her messages, remembering that she did indeed text you drunk the previous night.

Tara's mind races as she tries to recall what she said, hoping she hasn't embarrassed herself or said anything inappropriate. "You've got to be kidding me."

Tara mutters under her breath, scrolling through her messages with you. This was so embarrassing, and she couldn't believe she had let herself get so out of control.

"The hot professor whose filling in for Ms.Crane? What the fuck?" Tara's eyes widen in disbelief as she reads her own words. She had confessed her attraction to her substitute professor, not realizing how much she had revealed in her drunken state. Panic sets in as she wonders what your reaction to the message might have been.

Tara's phone dings, indicating a new message.

Mindy: Tara where the hell r u?

Mindy:  Sam is literally is losing her marbles

Shit.

Tara: im about to leave in about 15 minutes

Mindy: that didn't answer my question lollll

Tara: just tell sam im on the way

Mindy: omg you're at professor y/ln's house

Tara's heart races as she reads Mindy's message. How did Mindy know she was at your house? She quickly types a response, trying to come up with something to get Mindy off her back. 

Tara: wtf? no?

Tara: ill ttyl

-

The next couple of months consisted of Tara staying back after every lecture to talk to you. Now, you didn't exactly mind, but it did make you wonder why she was suddenly so interested in your company. Tara wouldn't talk about her studies, rather, she would ask you about your personal life, your hobbies, and your opinions on various topics.

Or whenever you'd be leaving campus or just arriving, Tara would leave her friends, jog over to you, and strike up a conversation. It seemed like she always found a reason to be near you, whether it was wanting to walk together or simply to share a funny story. Her genuine interest in getting to know you better was both flattering and intriguing.

"That's all for today, guys." You tell the class, packing up your things. Everyone begins leaving—well, everyone except for Tara. You shuffle your papers together, double-checking that you have everything, before looking up to find Tara still standing by your desk.

"Did you watch The Hereditary?" She had mentioned the movie a few times before, and you could tell she really wanted you to watch it. You smile and reply, "Yes, I did! Scared the shit out of me."

Tara laughs, "I thought you said you liked scary movies?" You begin walking toward the door. "I do!"

"What's your favorite scary movie?" Tara asks, genuinely curious. You pause for a moment, thinking of all the horror films you've seen over the years. "Hmm, that's a tough one," you say, pondering. "Maybe Chucky."

"You're joking," Tara says, raising an eyebrow. "Chucky? The killer doll? That's more of a cheesy horror movie than a scary one." You shrug and defend your choice. "Well, it scared me when I was younger. Plus, it has that nostalgic factor for me."

Tara chuckles and shakes her head playfully, saying, "Alright, if you say so. But I'll have to introduce you to some truly terrifying films one day."

You smile, holding the door open for the shorter girl. "Sure, T." Tara ignores the fluttering in her stomach at the nickname, striking up another conversation. "You heading home?"

You nod and reply, "Yeah, I was planning on making this salmon dish I found a recipe for. The sauce is supposed to be really flavorful, and I've been craving seafood lately." Tara hums, "Sounds fun."

You pause your walk, making eye contact with your student. "Maybe you could come...?"

Tara's eyes widen with surprise, but a smile tugs at the corners of her lips. "That sounds like a plan," she says, "What time?"

You check your watch and say, "How about around 7 p.m.? That should give me enough time to prepare everything." Tara nods eagerly, "Okay." You thank her and continue walking, "See you, T."

-

You were more than tipsy, this might have been the most fun you've had in a while. "I feel like a bad influence." You joke to Tara, pouring her another glass of wine. Tara laughs, "You're a perfect influence. You know how to have a good time."

You shake your head, standing up. "You can sit in the living room, I'm just gonna clear the table." Tara smiles and takes a sip of her wine. "Don't worry about it, I'll help you clean up."

Tara sets down her glass, standing up and helping you gather the dirty dishes and leftover food. Everything about this feels so domestic like you two are a married couple tidying up after a dinner party.

You start washing the dishes while Tara dries them and puts them away. The conversation flows effortlessly, making the task feel less like a chore and more like a shared experience.

On the last plate, you splash some soapy water onto Tara's shirt, causing her to let out a surprised gasp. "Oops, sorry about that!" you jokingly apologize, grinning mischievously.

Tara playfully flicks some water back at you, making you let out a laugh. "Oh, it's on now!" you exclaim, grabbing a nearby dish towel and flicking it towards Tara.

Tara runs out of the kitchen, laughing and dodging the dish towel, her wet shirt clinging to her as she goes. You turn off the water and chase after her, determined to catch her. While you reach the living room, Tara takes a sharp turn, causing you to stumble for a moment.

You quickly regain your balance and continue the chase, both of you enjoying the playful pursuit.

"I give up!" Tara calls out, breathless and giggling, as she collapses onto the couch. You slow down and join her, catching your breath and collapsing beside her.

You glance at her shirt, "Do you want one of my shirts?" Tara looks down at her damp shirt and shakes her head, still catching her breath. "No, I think I'll be fine," she replies with a smile.

Your eyes fall back on Tara, her cheeks flushed and her hair slightly disheveled from the chase. You know you shouldn't be thinking about your student in this way, but it's hard to ignore the undeniable chemistry between you. And she was absolutely gorgeous.

You're caught up in your thoughts, you don't even notice how your body is subconsciously scooting closer to her, until your knees are almost touching. The air between you feels charged with tension, and you can't help but wonder if she feels it too.

A part of you wants to reach out and brush a strand of hair behind her ear, but professional boundaries hold you back.

Tara turns her head slightly, her eyes meeting yours, and for a moment, you both share a knowing smile. Fuck, why did she have to look at you like that?

The intensity of the moment lingers, making it difficult to focus on anything else. You find yourself questioning the consequences of acting on this undeniable connection.

Tara leans in, and you follow behind slowly. You don't notice what you're doing until your noses brush against each other, sending a jolt of electricity through your body.

Tara parts her lips slightly, her warm breath tickling your skin. You place a hand on her leg, closing the distance between you. Your lips meet in a passionate and electrifying kiss, leaving you breathless and craving more.

You place your hand on Tara's waist, pulling her closer to you and allowing her to straddle you. Tara can't help but respond, her hands finding their way to your hair as she pulls you in even closer.

When you pull away, your heart is racing as if you had just run a marathon. You knew what you were doing was wrong, but in that moment, it felt so right. The chemistry between you and Tara was undeniable, and the desire for each other was too strong to resist.

Your hand rises to Tara's face, your thumb tracing over her soft, plump lips. She closes her eyes, and a moan escapes her mouth. You kiss her lightly, your tongue tracing the outline of her mouth. She responds with a slow, passionate kiss, her lips trembling as you pull away.

"Please," she mumbles, grinding her hips against yours. "Fuck, T." What was this girl doing to you? Without hesitation, you capture her lips once more, this time with an electrifying fervor that leaves you both breathless. In that moment, you knew that there was no going back, you were stuck under her spell.

Your hands slither under her shirt, exploring the curves of her body, feeling the heat radiating from her skin. She moans softly, encouraging you to continue your exploration, and you do.

Skillfully, you unclasp her bra, and your fingers trace the outline of her breasts, teasing and caressing every inch of her sensitive skin. She arches her back, pressing herself closer to you, craving more of your touch.

You lift her shirt, revealing her bare chest, and your lips eagerly find their way to her exposed skin. The taste of her drives you wild, and you lose yourself in the moment, savoring every sweet and intoxicating sensation.

Your hands fly back to her waist, lifting her slightly as your lips trail to her stomach, leaving a trail of soft kisses along the way.

She lets out a soft moan, her fingers tangling in your hair as she surrenders to the pleasure coursing through her body. Tara's breath hitches when you stand up, picking her up with ease. You carry her effortlessly to the bedroom, her legs wrapped around your waist, her body pressed against yours.

One thing is, you don't make it to the bed. Tara's back is now pressed against a wall, her heart pounding in her chest. You lean in closer, capturing her lips with yours as your hands roam over her body. You couldn't get enough.

You flip Tara, pressing her against the wall with a newfound intensity. Tara gasp, her eyes rolling back in pleasure, feeling your strong grip on her hips and your lips trailing down her neck.

Your hands trail to her jeans button, fumbling to undo it as the passion between you increases. Tara's breath hitches as you slide down her pants, along with her underwear, exposing her bare skin to the cool air.

Without hesitating, you drop to your knees, eager to taste her. A loud slap is heard, followed by a gasp of surprise. Tara bites down on her lip, balling up her fist against the wall, feeling you spread her legs for better access.

You lean in closer, your tongue teasing her entrance as Tara's moans fill the room. Oh, shit. You were officially addicted to this girl. Every touch and every sound she made only fueled your obsession for her.

You couldn't get enough of the way she responded to your touch, her body arching and trembling with pleasure. Or the way she tasted, leaving a permanent mark on your tongue.

"Fuck..." Tara gasps, the side of her face flat against the wall as her hips buck against your mouth. You remove one of your hands from her ass, holding her hips steady as you continue to devour her.

Tara whines in response, reaching behind to tangle her fingers in your hair, urging you to keep going. Her moans grow louder, and her grip tightens. "I'm so close, shit..."

You intensify your movements, your tongue skillfully exploring every inch of her, pushing her closer to the edge. Tara's breath becomes ragged, you grip her with greater force, and she becomes more and more undone, on the brink of exploding in pleasure.

And just as she's about to tip over the edge, she lets out a guttural cry, her body convulsing in ecstasy.

"Y/N! Shit!"

You stand up, and Tara catches her breath, her body still trembling from the intense orgasm.

While Tara attempts to compose herself, you unbuckle your belt and slowly remove your pants and underwear, revealing your own heightened state of arousal.

Tara's eyes widen when she feels your intense desire pressing against her. You press a kiss onto her head, whispering, "I need you, Tara."

Tara turns her head, meeting you with a lustful gaze. Her lips parted slightly as she whispers, "I want you too, Y/N." You place a soft kiss on the freckled face that you've come to adore before taking yourself, rubbing against her in a slow, teasing motion.

Tara's wetness lubricates you, allowing you to slip right in with a breathful gasp. As you enter her, Tara arches her back and lets out a low moan, her body responding eagerly to your touch.

The feeling of her tightness around you heightens the nirvana, driving you both insane.

You pick up the pace, your hips meeting hers in a delicious rhythm. Each thrust sends waves of pleasure coursing through both of your bodies—a symphony of desire and passion.

Tara's arm reaches around, her nails dig into your neck while her moans grow louder and more desperate with every movement.

Tara's hand falls back against the wall as she braces herself against the overwhelming pleasure. Your own hand falls on top of hers, and for a second, Tara finds herself caught between the intensified sensations and the tender touch of your hand.

She exhales a breath of pleasure, and her eyes roll back in pleasure. You lean in to kiss her neck, and she moans in response. You move your lips down to her shoulder, leaving a trail of soft kisses along her skin. "You feel so good, T." You groan, your voice thick with please.

This time, without warning, Tara lets go, a long and loud moan escaping her lips as she arches her back in ecstasy.

She collapses against your chest, her eyes half closed, catching her breath as her body trembles with satisfaction. You hold her tightly, savoring the intimate moment shared between you both.

As you slowly untangle yourselves from the intimate embrace, Tara wraps her arms around your neck and plants a soft kiss on your lips.

You smile into it, placing a hand on the small of her back, pulling her closer. The lingering taste of her lips lingers on yours, igniting a drive for more.

Tara moves onto her knees with your help, never breaking eye contact. Her hand wraps around your pulsating shaft before she kisses the tip, her tongue swirling around it.

The sensation sends a jolt of pleasure through your body, making you moan softly. You grab Tara's hair, guiding her movements as she takes you deeper into her mouth. "That feels great, shit..." you mutter, throwing your head back.

Tara's expert tongue continues to work its wonders, teasing and exploring every inch of you.

You begin moving your hips in rhythm with Tara's movements, finding a steady and pleasurable pace.

The hallway fills with the sounds of your heavy breathing and the wet, persistent slurping of Tara's mouth. "Yeah...just like that, Tara."

Your grip on her hair tightens, urging her on as she eagerly takes you deeper, her eyes watering at the sensation. You feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge.

With a grunt, you cum hard, your body shuddering in pleasure as Tara's lips move over your shaft. She keeps sucking until you finally pull away, a satisfied smile on your face.

You feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. With a grunt, you cum hard, your body shuddering in pleasure as Tara's lips move over your shaft. She keeps sucking until you finally pull away, a satisfied smile on your face.

Tara can't help but think about how this night will shift your relationship. She wonders if this newfound intimacy will bring you closer or create complications that she didn't want to deal with. As you catch your breath, Tara's thoughts wander to the potential consequences of crossing this line.

[blue2black]

HAZBIN HOTEL BLOOPERS:

PART 1

—————————

Valentino: The UNGRATEFUL WHORE! *throws drink towards Vox*

Vox: *steps to the side but gets the drink on him anyway*

Vox: ...

Vox: Which whore are we—UGH, that smells. *chuckles while wiping his coat*

Valentino: Sorry. 😓

Vox: No, it's okay.

Director: CUT!

—🎬—

Valentino: The UNGRATEFUL WHORE! *throws drink towards Vox and hits him*

Vox: AH-

—🎬—

Valentino: The UNGRATEFUL WHORE! *throws drink towards Vox*

—🎬—

Valentino: THAT FUCKING WHORE! *growling, throws drink towards Vox*

—🎬—

Valentino: The UNGRRRRATEFUL WHORE! *throws drink towards Vox*

—🎬—

Valentino: The fucking 🎶whoooooooorrrrreee🎶 *spins gracefully*

—🎬—

Valentino: ... 😐

Valentino: *raises drink* THE UNGRATEFUL—AAAAAH—son of a- 🤬

—🎬—

Vox: Think of something that pisses you off.

Valentino: I can only break so many glasses before I get this fucking line right, Christian...

—————————

Angel: Eh, you fucked one cannibal pool boy, you fucked 'em all. *brings his drink to his lips*

Husk: I guess you have changed...

Angel: *laughs out his drink back into his cup*

—🎬—

Angel: I want you to like, sing me a lullaby in that voice.

Husk: Mm. 😏 *knows he's the shit*

—————————

Alastor: —for every other disrespectful WRETCH who DARES to question me.

Husk, shaking: UnderST—*seagull screech*—d.

Husk: ... 😐

Husk: I was trying to sound scared... *Alastor laughs*

Husk: That voice crack though. *smiles while getting up*

—————————

Vaggie: Action...!

Niffty: 😃 ->🧍‍♀️

Vaggie: ...

Niffty: ...

Vaggie: ...

Niffty: ... 😐

Niffty: 🥴

Niffty, covering her face: AHHHH, I can't do it!! 😆

Vaggie and Angel: 😆😆

—————————

Alastor: ... *toothy grin in place*

Director: CUT!

Alastor: *turns into a fish* 😮 Ooooo...

Alastor: 😲 Ahhhhhhh...

Alastor, rubbing his cheeks: Fuckin' Christ.

—————————

Giant Overlord Alastor (animatronic): I̶͎͇̙̳̙͍̼̺̺̠̿̂̉ ̵̢̗̤̥̯͚͎́̎̉̆̑́͘͘̕̕ẁ̸͍̎į̶̛͗̈̎̽̍̍͘l̸̝̳͙̓̆͊̆͠l̴̢̧͙̹͖̩̫̻͔̄͛͂̈́̓͝ ̵̳͕̗͙̭̟͙̭͍̙̐͊͐̊d̶̫̗̮̿̀̈́̔̌̉̿̓̚e̴̺̰̊̓͂v̸̞͚͕͚͕̱̝̿̍̎̀̽́̅̀͠o̸̢̧͍̳͈͎̼̪͑ȕ̸̠͇͈̝̦͔͍̯̘̥̓r̷̨̤̦̰͈̞̠͚̀̃̇͋͝ ̸̢̭̺͖̭͖͚̃̉͒̐e̸͉͕̰̝͌̀̇̄͆̀͜͠͝á̴̢̞͓̝̝̗̪̪̓č̵̪̈́̃͋̈́̒̽͑̿͘h̴̡̡̛͇̱͓̭̟̟͚̐͜ ̷̧̲͔̏̄ȧ̶͈͈͎͚͖̺̫̼̓̄̇̍͘ņ̴̘͍̘̗̑d̷̢͊̔ ̷̢̢͔̙͚̙̳͌͋͑̕͘ḛ̸̲́v̷͉̗̆̐̑͂̂͜ę̴̧̜̙̰̈́͑̎̀́̍̇̆̕͘r̵̫̐̚y̴̟̺̙̑͂̽́̊̀͑͋ ̷̺̳̏̈́͒́͐̃O̸̯̲͂̇̋̈́̎͗N̷̡̟͇͔̯̏Ë̵̹̝́́̈́̍̀͐́̊͘ ̴͍͚̏͠O̴̰̣͙̭̥̹͙͇̓̄̈́̉̃̔F̶̲̝͔̖̗͕̭̜͐͗̉̍̃ ̴̢̡̮͖͓̕Y̸̢̡̞̪̦̫͂͊́̽͂͌͆̂̓Ô̸̲̻͕̄̊̋̆̏͐̋͝͝U̸̡͔͇͈̖̺̳͚̥̿ͅ!̵̢̬̬̝̙̈͌̔̇̓ͅ

Alastor, from behind the scenes: 😱

—————————

Angel: —I can handle MYSELF.

Husk: REALLY?! be- *Angel flinches back and almost falls*

Husk: —AH, sorry, that was too loud. *grabs Angel's arm*

Angel: These GOD DAMN heels!

—🎬—

Husk: Really??

Husk: Great, that wasn't loud ENOUGH.

—🎬—

Angel: You got this ���😃👍

Husk, face in his hands: UuugggghhhhhaaaAAAAHHHHHHH—

—🎬—

Husk: Really?! Because I just saw someone self-destructing!

Husk: ...it seems like...I don't know...

Husk: You might need a bartender to talk to.

...

Director: When you say that last part, add a little softness to it.

Husk: Hahaha 😄 *Angel: 😁*

Director: Remember, you're trying to comfort him.

Director: Let's go again!

—🎬—

Angel: —I can HANDLE MYSELF!

Husk: RE—*seagull screech*

Husk: *face palms* Goddammit! Why does that happen??-

—🎬—

Husk: —how famous, how hot—

Husk: So, you might as well just...cut the act.

Angel, whips his head around: IT'S NOT AN act... *trails off laughing*

—🎬—

Husk: Loser. *lovingly*

Angel: No, you. *also lovingly*

—🎬—

Husk: Are we doing a string of this? *Angel: 😅*

—————————

Lucifer and Sera, taking a selfie: 😇😝

—————————

Lute: Got a good 275 this year, sir.

Adam: HAH, awesome, pound it danger tits. *fist bumps Lute*

Adam: Yeah, yeah...love you girl.

Adam, panicking: Ohhh no, I wasn't supposed to say that. *BTS crew laughs*

Adam: Charlie, your idea is shit—fucking hell—go back, go away... *waves Charlie away, looking down embarrassed*

Charlie: *laughing her ass off*

—————————

Angel, laying in the studio bed naked: I can't believe that the first acting role I ever get requires me to moan into a mic a thousand times.

—————————

*Husk and Angel chatting before the start of a scene*

Vaggie:

(She’s the #1 HuskerDust shipper on God)

[toorumlk]

Hi I'm so freaking obsessed with your twitter.

Also what's your favorite Romione moment in the books and why?

ohohoho thank you, friend, i��m quite proud of some of the stuff i’ve posted on there B)

and as for my favourite romione moment in the books, when i read the question i first blanked out for a couple minutes, thinking of a bunch of smaller, sillier scenes. but then i remembered that i do have a favourite and it’s from chapter 11 of DH, when remus visited the trio at grimmauld place and filled them in on he goings on of the war -including the implementation of the muggle-born registry. ron’s response upon hearing this (after his immediate outrage) was

and it’s not just the hand holding and the “‘you won’t have a choice’ said Ron fiercely” that played out so vividly in my head like this:

but this scene demonstrates so perfectly the political weight of this pairing (muggleborn/blood traitor) which i think is the immovable narrative foundation of romione. all of their silly moments and idiosyncrasies aside, there is genuine narrative purpose behind this love. ron has always had an astute understanding of the blood supremacist politics of the wizarding world (need i remind that he was ready to curse shitco at the ripe age of 12 for calling hermione the in-universe slur) and just how wrong it is. ron is a pure-blood wizard and by design has so much privilege in this society bc of it, but by virtue of having parents like arthur and molly, he’s grown up knowing the importance of fighting against blood supremacist ideology. always.

so, after hearing about the completely horrifying muggleborn registry ("People won't let this happen," said Ron. "It is happening, Ron," said Lupin.), he immediately turns to his muggleborn best friend and love of his life and says “i’m making you a family member, i’m going to use the protection my family-name has and use it to protect you from the awful injustice of our situation, no you won’t have a choice but to let me help you”

i remember having such a… visceral reaction while reading this scene like holy shit .. these kids, THESE KIDS!!!!! this is the bone-marrow-deep love that makes me feel insane. this dynamic of the blood traitor/muggleborn always there, from CoS all the way to the epilogue. We get to see that romione is the story’s pure blood/muggleborn that finally made it (rip jily and tedromeda :(). we see it in hermione keeping her muggle last name after they get married (oh my god these two actually got married) and we also see it in the hyphenated Granger-Weasley (granger being first!) in their kids’ last names (oh my gof these two had TWO kids). they are a true symbol of change and progress in their world.

also this is one of those moments where i’m so glad that our only window to romiones relationship development is through harry’s narration because it so brilliantly shows the readers this blossoming love story instead of just telling us about it because harry obviously doesn’t have access to the inner thoughts of his two best friends, he can only witness them fall deeper in love. showing the audience acts of love is always more powerful and my god is this an act of showing your love to your beloved.

(and not to go on an unrelated tangent, but this is exactly why i could never ship my girl hermione w any DE or DE-adjacent character. no fucking way. not when the concept of a muggle-born registry exists in this universe, not when the antagonists in this story wish to eradicate people like her from their society. idk about the rest of y’all but im going to keep taking the narrative seriously bc the worldbuilding obviously has real world ties/implications and i like engaging with the canon. tangently to the tangent, i saw someone (a ron basher) on twitter say that ron, OUR RON FROM THE ABOVE EXCERPT, was “one bad day away from becoming a death eater” ohhhh ohhh i ought to beat you with sticks bc HUH? this is the same kid who said he would’ve boarded the train back to kings cross if he got sorted to slytherin, the house notorious for birthing DEs, at the tender age of 11)

anyways, all this to say is that romione is incredibly, realistically, materially romantic and i love them and i love their love <3

[bubblergoespop]

some rambles abt the patreon bonus scene of sam and porter <3 i was gonna wait until the audio released publicly to post this but idk when that's gonna happen so ta daaaa yes ik the audio came out like half a month ago shushhh

okie so first of all, i'm so happy we got another bonus scene like the first one with lasko, huxley and damien and the one with sam NAME DROPPING porter. they've always been fun and exciting and OHHH I LOVE just having audios that are structured slightly differently and these kinds of audios aren't always necessary for understanding the main plot but they reveal so much more about characters, i love them. erik please make this one public so the people can hear it, i'm begging you.

OH EM GEE i love porter and sam's dynamic so much! they're not blood related, not even vampirically, but you can't deny that they're literally family. porter making the classic old man jabs at sam and acknowledging that people always make those jokes towards sam, oh they're brothers.

porter saying "apparently i've become predictable in my old age" just has me questioning how old he is again. i mean, i've always assumed he was AT LEAST vincent and sam's ages but i've never really thought of him as a proper old vamp. just because his personality is youthfully mischievous and he's often just straight up immature in my opinion. was this just an exaggeration or is porter much older than sam? i doubt he's much older to be honest. hearing what went on in his life so far, i don't think there's enough there to make the assumption that he's got that many years behind him.

oh and porter also saying that the solaire clan is an institution that has kept sam and vincent "comfortable, satisfied and most of all SAFE" HAS GOT ME THINKING AHHH!! i hadn't considered that leaving the house would make sam and vincent vulnerable to enemies of the house and now i'm thinking back to the summit when deon wright mentioned that quinn must have come from somewhere, with possible allies that are still yet to appear. even if sam and vincent leave the house and do their best to distance themselves from william, they're still of emotional value to will and therefore are still a weakness of the house OHHH IM GETTING EXCITED

oh and porter's inability to hold in a scoff at samuel HE'S SO SASSY I LOVE HIM especially when he's all huffy and puffy.

"i am a vampire but that doesn't make them my people. i'm a healer. i'm a mate. i'm a friend. i'm a hellion when i wanna be. i'm a lot of things but i'm not that kind of person." sam i'm gonna sob into my pillow.

i adore how erik shows that despite all their bickering and downright mean attitudes towards each other, sam still cares deeply about porter - "you gotta live your own life the best way you see fit, porter. and i wish you well in it. i really do." oh and porter definitely also cares deeply about sam and vincent. i've said before that they're the closest thing he has to a family and i think porter mentioning that leaving the house not only endangers sam and vincent but also the people they care about shows that porter cares not just about sam and vincent's physical wellbeings but also their mental wellbeings. he cares about sam and vincent and by extension those they care about as well.

i like to think vincent attempting to call porter in porter's hbs is also a sign that somewhere in his heart, vincent cares for porter too. especially after learning a bit more about porter at the summit. hence why he wants to talk to porter about everything that's going on now.

"there's a place for you on this side of the table, if you want it. we just wanted you to know that." SEEEEEE SAM CARES HE REALLY DOES DESPITE IT ALL

sam acknowledging that porter's habit of constantly fighting anyone and everyone he encounters is a self destructive one and is NOT going to end well if he continues just leads me to believe that erik has something up his sleeve for this. either porter's relationship with treasure (arguably the healthiest one he's currently got) is going to help him heal from that constant need to fight or this addiction is going to lead to something horrible (but entirely avoidable if porter would just leave it be). oh what fun!!

[staytheword]

clear skies

clear skies — one shot sequel of falling rain [ masterlist ] 

— bang chan x female reader. also features han jisung, lee know, yeji (itzy), and san (ateez).

— non idol au. friends to lovers. mutual pining, idiots in love, fluff, angst, drinking, explicit language, explicit smut, a lot of discussion around break-ups, closure, healing, etc. smut warnings (spoilers) — oral sex (m receiving), protected sex, some dirty talk, no major warnings.

— word count: 6.8k

— !! please consider reading falling rain before reading this, as it is a direct sequel and I fear it will make much less sense without the first part :') ♡

You and Chan are friends. Maybe a little more than that, after your night together. You find yourself healing, really healing, until your ex makes you question everything.

You knock on the door of apartment 6, nervously biting your lip. A few seconds later, it opens on Jisung. He looks like he just got out of bed although it’s early afternoon, which wouldn’t be surprising considering what you know of his sleeping schedule. 

“Y/N,” he smiles. “We don’t often see you around here. What’s up?” 

You show him the bag you’re holding. 

“Chan told me he was sick. I brought him some stuff.” 

Jisung gives you a long look but he opens the door so you can come in. You enter the apartment, taking a curious look around. You’ve only been here for parties, and nothing looks the same in the dark. In the direct sunlight of the afternoon, and without all the people, it feels like a whole different place. 

“Yeah, he told me he caught a cold,” Jisung says, hiding a yawn behind his hand. “No idea how.” 

“It’s been raining pretty bad these days,” you shrug. 

Jisung nods, still looking at you suspiciously. You do your best not to act differently than you do, hoping your friend isn’t as good at reading you as Chan is. Because you have no idea if Jisung knows about what happened. You haven’t told anyone yet, although you’re planning to spill everything to Yeji soon. You’re not sure how Chan feels about the other night - you’re not sure how you feel about the other night. 

But when he told you he was sick - because of you and the scene you made under the rain - you couldn’t just stay home. You had to make it up to him. So you got him soup from his favorite place, as well as a few snacks. 

“He’s in his room,” Jisung says eventually. 

“Thanks, Ji.”

“Sure. I’ll be here if you need me.” 

He gestures towards the couch, and you give him a smile. As you walk away, you see him hit the controller, and the show on the television starts playing again - although from what you can feel on your back, he’s staring at you. 

You knock on Chan’s door and a tired voice tells you to come in. 

He’s laying on his bed, half sitting up, playing on his Switch. His hair is a mess, and so is his room, but you don’t mind. All you see are his red nose, his chapped lips, the hazy look in his eyes. 

“Oh, Chan,” you sigh, and he chuckles. 

“I look that bad, yeah?”

His nasal voice clearly shows he’s sick, and you pout, closing the door behind you. 

“You didn’t have to come all the way here,” he says.

“I wanted to. I brought you a few things.” 

You sit on the bed next to him, opening the bag and taking out what you know are his favorite snacks, placing them on the desk close by. 

“And also this,” you tell him, removing the bowl of soup. 

As he recognizes the restaurant name on the lid, his eyes light up. One of his favorites. 

“Ohh. Ohhh.” 

“Thought that might make you feel better. Eat, while it’s still warm.” 

He giggles excitedly, his Switch abandoned next to him, and he sits upright, carefully taking the bowl in his hands. You just watch him as he takes his first spoonful, closing his eyes to savor the taste. 

“I think I’m cured,” he says with a laugh.

You smile affectionately, relieved to see he’s not too sick to eat. As your eyes linger on his face, you realize you can’t really stay. You have no reason to, after all. You look down at your hands. 

“Ji was highly suspicious of my visit,” you tell Chan. 

He frowns. “What did he say?” 

“Nothing,” you sigh. “But it was obvious.” 

“Well…” Chan swallows. “I didn’t tell him, if that’s what you’re asking.” 

You nod, but you’re not sure what to answer. You don’t know if you’re happy about that or not. 

“I’ve been too sick, didn’t feel right,” he explains, keeping his eyes on you. Despite their glassiness, you read them well. “Should I have?” 

“No,” you answer. “I mean - not if you didn’t want to. Of course not.” 

“Did you tell anyone?”

“No,” you say, looking up at him. “I want to tell Yeji, though. Is that okay?” 

He smiles. 

“Of course. I don’t want you to feel like it has to be a secret.” 

You sigh in relief. “I agree. It’s just… Some might not understand.” 

“We don’t have to tell everyone,” Chan shrugs. “We’re still friends, right? That doesn’t change.” 

You blink. 

Just you and me.

Just you and me tonight. 

“We are,” you smile, and you believe it. 

That night, Chan made you feel seen like you never had before. A part of you wonders if it means you have fallen in love. But as you sit next to him, looking at him eating his soup so excitedly, you realize it’s not. What you shared is special - and you told each other things that did matter, and that did change your relationship. But you are still yourselves. You don’t want to bury yourself in doubt. Not now. There are still things you need to figure out about yourself and what you want. 

You need to find yourself first so you can honor him. 

So you can love him like he should be loved. 

Maybe Chan can fall in love with you.

Maybe you can fall in love with him. 

For now, you are friends. 

A little more than that. 

But it’s still enough.

“So, yeah. We had sex.” 

Yeji gasps, putting a hand over her mouth. Despite the gesture, she does not seem that surprised, and you arch an eyebrow at her. 

“I mean -” she stammers. “It’s not that I’m not surprised, I’m just - well -” 

You let out a chuckle. “C’mon, spit it out.” 

She sighs. “I guess I just expected it to happen some day.” 

You take your mug in your hand, lifting it to your lips. The cafe is quiet tonight - it’s a weeknight, so the only people there are students catching up on studying and people talking casually. You adore this place - it’s close to your apartment, the coffee is good, and it’s never too busy. Yeji and you regularly meet up there for a pastry or a latte, as you are tonight. 

“So you knew, huh?” 

“Knew what?” 

“That he had a crush on me.” 

She shakes her head as you take a sip from your latte. Her hair is tied into a long braid today, and although she looks tired from work, she still manages to look breathtaking. That’s just Yeji. 

“No. I didn’t - not for sure,” she smiles. “I just had a feeling. Neither of you are really good at hiding how you feel.” 

You sigh, putting down the mug. “I guess you’re right about that.” 

She gives you a sweet smile. 

“So how was it?” 

“The sex?” When she nods, your smile can’t help but widen. “It was good. Really good.” 

“Really good, huh?” she giggles.

“Really good.” 

You keep laughing, and you indulge her when she asks for details. You have nothing to hide, anyway - you know you need to open yourself up to people, and with Yeji it’s always been easy and mutual. That’s something you learned, sometimes at a bitter cost. It’s all right to give to people, as long as they do the same. Throwing pieces of you into the void - that’s how you lose yourself. 

“I’m so glad, Y/N,” she says, putting her hand on yours. “You look good.” 

“I feel a little better. And it’s not even just Chan, you know. I think… In a way, I think I’m relieved, actually. About San.” 

Yeji gives you the time to measure the words on your tongue. You think about your ex, the one who loved you, the one who hurt you, and all the things in between.

“He has someone. He’s moved on. I can too. To see him heal - it helps me.” 

You’re not even lying. 

It’s not that everything is perfect again - of course it isn’t. But you’re putting the pieces of yourself back together, slowly. Learning to love again - yourself and others. 

It’s been about a week since Chan spent the night at your place. Since then, you’ve seen each other a few times, sometimes just the two of you, sometimes with others. When he recovered from his cold you went for brunch. To see a movie. You spent a night at the boys’ apartment to play board games. 

You haven’t slept together again. A part of you wants to, but you’re not interested in forcing it. The only time you almost did was back at his place, but Jisung and Minho had both been there, yelling nonsense in the living room. Not the most romantic background music. So you just held each other tight, exchanged a few kisses. Chan played with your hair. You put your hand on his chest to feel him breathe. 

You and Yeji talk some more, and then you decide to head back home, as you’re both working early the next day. After a hug, you give her a smile. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow night? At the party?” 

She gives you a surprised look. “You’re coming?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Honey…” She frowns. “You know San and his girlfriend will be there, right?” 

You nod. 

“I know. That’s all right.” 

She smiles, puts a hand against your cheek. “Healing looks good on you.” 

It’s one of the kindest things anyone has ever told you.

Healing is a complicated thing. 

Healing takes time, and healing is never a straight line. 

One moment you’ll feel you can take anything, and the next the ground shifts from under you and you collapse. 

You thought you’d be strong enough. 

You’re not. 

“I miss you,” San says, not even able to look at you. “I know it’s a shitty thing to say, I know I’ve been a dick, but… it’s the truth.” 

You did not expect this. 

You did not expect this at all.

You thought San was over you. But now, here he is, looking tired and anxious, telling you he’s broken up with his girlfriend because something didn’t feel right. Because he missed something. You. 

“I…” you stammer. “I don’t know what to say.” 

“You don’t have to say anything,” he breathes out. He’s tipsy, you know him well enough for that. His body sways a little as he shrugs. “I just wanted you to know.” 

“O-okay.” 

And just like that, like he hasn’t just dropped a rock in your throat, like he hasn’t just set off a bomb in your chest, he walks away. You stare at the back of his head, your fingers squeezing the bottle of beer in your hand. You’re glad it’s made of thicker glass, that it won’t crush under the pressure. Still, it feels brittle. 

You arrived at the party more than an hour ago, and you’ve been having a good time. You played a drinking game of cards, danced with Jeongin and Lily, flirted with Chan. The two of you are not together - but you’re not not together either. The night was going so well you barely noticed that San was not accompanied like he was supposed to be. He avoided you up until minutes ago, asking you if he could talk. Now you stand in the backyard, looking up at the night sky and wondering how your legs will be able to carry you home. 

You wish it would start raining. That would make more sense than the tears on your cheeks. 

You frown, shaking your head. You’ve been doing so well. Your heart was repairing itself, helped by Chan’s smile, by the strength you found in yourself through his eyes. After so much time in a relationship, you are actually enjoying some time on your own, even if a part of you belongs to Chan. He’s respecting the distance you need, never too close but never far. You like Chan. A lot. 

San misses you. 

You miss him too. 

Do you want him back? 

It would be so simple to fall back into it. Like letting your body float in safe waters, the current sweeping you away. Easing back into the comfort you had built together. But you can’t. You don’t love San anymore. He doesn’t love you anymore either. He’s just confused. He’s processing things in a different order from you. 

Right? 

Still, it would be so easy. 

“Y/N?” 

You turn around at the sound of Chan’s voice. It feels like a familiar song in the middle of a cacophony. He brings you back to that night, your limbs entangled on the couch, his chest moving up and down as he slept next to you. Being with Chan feels easy too, but it is more than that - it feels right. 

It also feels terrifying.

“Are you crying?” he frowns. 

You shake your head. “A little. It’s okay. It’s nothing bad.” 

“I just saw San walk away,” Chan says tensely. 

You can feel him getting angry, so you put a hand on his arm, trying to gather the right words. 

Chan sighs. “What did he say to you?” 

“Chan, please,” you breathe out. “Calm down.” 

“I just don’t want him to hurt you again -” 

“He misses me,” you interrupt him, meeting his gaze. Chan stops and looks at you. You can’t quite read his expression. “That’s what he told me. That he missed me. He broke up with the girl because of it.” 

Chan pushes his fingers against his temple. “That fucking asshole…” 

“Chan -” 

“No, Y/N.” It’s his time to interrupt you and you freeze on the spot. “I know what you will say, but that still doesn’t make it okay. He shouldn’t put this burden on you. Whatever his process is, it’s not fair to pull you in and out of it like he is.” 

Your mouth is dry. “I…” You don't even know what you want to say. 

“Please,” Chan says, taking your hand in his. The warmth it spreads on your fingers makes you realize how cold you are. “Don’t let him in.” 

His eyes are dark oceans you want to fall into. He looks so handsome, with his hair dancing in the breeze, his sharp jaw that you want to kiss. Those lips that were everywhere on you that night. Those fingers that held you tight. 

The pang of longing that passes through you makes you dizzy and you take a step back, removing your hand from his. You close your eyes, trying to steady your breathing. This is a lot. This is too much. Your lungs burn and your heart is being torn apart.

What you want. What you need. What you can’t help but miss. 

“Y/N?” Chan asks so delicately it feels like a caress. 

You shake your head, holding a palm up, not even able to look at him. “I- I’m sorry. This is just a lot. I… I need to think, I…”  

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” he says. “I’ll give you space. Do you want me to get Yeji, or anyone else?” 

You nod. “Yeji’s good.” 

“Ok. Ok. Stay there.” 

You let Chan walk away, and once you can’t hear his footsteps, you let your knees buckle. You collapse on the grass, bringing your legs against your body, the bottle of beer hanging pathetically from your fingers. 

You don’t know anything anymore. 

You’re mad. Sad. Confused. Torn. 

You look up at the sky, empty of clouds. There’s just nothingness there.

Why can’t it rain for once?

It’s been a few days since the party. Or you think it has. Time has been tricky, lately, twisting and turning in ways you didn’t expect it too. Days feel like seconds. Hours feel like weeks. 

Your head is laying on Yeji’s lap. She’s braiding it, the both of you watching your favorite show. You’ve seen these episodes a dozen times but you don’t care. It’s just so there’s noise instead of the deafening silence. Something to look at instead of the abysmal nothingness. Yeji made you sure you ate something. 

You’re going backwards.

A descent.

A regression.

Yeji calls it a bump in the road, but it doesn’t feel like a bump. It feels like a black hole sucking you in, tearing you apart at the seams. 

Chan is on your mind. His kindness, his eyes that understand you better than anyone does. San is on your mind. His comforting arms, his familiarity. You don’t know what to do. You feel stuck. You want to listen to your heart, but it has remained silent, like it wants you to make the decision. 

For now you have shut yourself off. You don’t answer anyone, except for Yeji. But then again, she forced the lock, sat you down and said, cry. Scream. Punch someone. I don’t care, but do something. You did all of those things. You cried, you screamed, and, well - you punched your pillow. 

Everything felt right. Now everything feels blurry. 

It was so hard to get yourself back on track, and now that you’ve derailed, you feel worse than before. It’s so stupid, too. They’re just boys. 

That’s what Yeji told you - and she’s terribly right. You can’t allow yourself to feel like this for boys. And yet you can’t shake the lethargy. So you decide to give yourself the time. Figure things out.

You owe it to the both of them.

Chan. San. 

Whatever the truth is, they deserve it. 

Yeji’s phone vibrates on the table in front of you and you sit up to let her answer it. Your eyes unconsciously fall on the screen, and you see Chan’s name. Your chest tightens and you look away. Yeji squeezes your hand.

“What’s up, Chan?” she answers. 

You can discern his voice, not what he says, and you try not to stare. Instead you grab the mug of tea you’ve barely touched and take a sip. It’s lukewarm. 

“I’m good,” Yeji says. “Just watching tv.” She pauses. “Y/N?” 

Your heart drops at the bottom of your stomach and you look up at your friend. You shake your head. 

“Yeah, she’s here,” Yeji continues. “But she’s asleep.” You smile faintly at her as a thank you. “Yeah, I’ll tell her you called. Okay. See you soon.” 

She hangs up, putting down the phone, and you wince. “Sorry you had to lie because of me.” 

“That’s okay, honey. I just…” She hesitates, but you nod, encouraging her to speak her mind. You need her to. “You know you can talk to Chan, right? He’s your friend, first and foremost. Whatever happened between you, whatever the feelings… He’ll listen. He cares.”

“I know,” you say faintly, playing with the blanket on your knees. “I just don’t even know what I would say. And if I see him… I’ll just get more confused.” 

Because Chan is a dream guy - handsome and kind, with the cutest smile. Because Chan will remind you of what happened that night, of the way he held you, of the way he made you shiver. 

Yeji smiles softly. “I understand. I just wanted to remind you.” 

“Thank you. I’ll try to text him later. I have to answer San, too, he messaged me like two days ago…” 

A sudden surge of anxiety overtakes you, and you breathe out. Yeji puts a hand on your leg. “Breathe, Y/N. One thing at a time.” 

“A part of me just wants to say, fuck it, I’m just going to be single, you know?” you chuckle, feeling the tears at the corners of your eyes. “I don’t need anyone. I’ll give myself time to heal. But when I tell myself that, then… I feel so empty. Like I’m making a terrible mistake.” 

You shrug. 

“The worst part is, I already know what I want,” you whisper. Chan. Chan. Chan. “But the past won’t let me go.” 

“The past doesn’t control you,” Yeji breathes, giving you a smile. “You control what hold it has on you. You have to let it go.” 

You wipe the tears from your eyes. “But what if letting San go is a mistake?”

“I think you already know the answer to that question,” Yeji tells you. “Missing someone doesn’t mean you still love them, or that you’re right for each other. It just means you care. It just means what you had was real - and moving on from it doesn’t take that away.” 

You breathe in slowly, giving your friend a tight hug. 

The skies will clear. 

And even if they don’t, the rain really isn’t that bad. 

Rain is cold, rain is heavy. But rain is a thing of beauty.

You hear the door close behind you and you pause. The relief is spreading through your body. The knots, untangled. The wounds, soothed. This will scar - but it will heal. It already is. 

A part of you can’t help it - you turn around to glance at the closed door. Apartment 2B. You spent so much time there, loving San, being loved by him. It felt right to return there to have the conversation you needed to have. Both of you, sober, calm, ready. I miss you too, you told him. But we don’t love each other anymore, and we have to let each other go. 

I know, San nodded. Or I’ll learn to know. He smiled then. You were always the strongest of us. 

You’re not sure it’s true, but you’ll accept it. Strength is something you have, strength is something you grow. It’s not constant. It’s not even logical. Even strength can break. Even strength can be weak. 

You leave the apartment building. Poetically, the rain from earlier has ceased. It still hangs in the air, hazy, leaving the streets wet. As you walk, you watch droplets fall from the tree leaves, distorted visions of the city and sky in puddles. Your umbrella is useless in your hand, still dripping from earlier. You spin it a little in your hands, making the water trapped in it dance. 

You know exactly what you will do next. 

Your next destination is not exactly close but you enjoy the long walk. The sky has gotten dark, your cheeks are a little red, and your heart is spinning. But you know this is what you have to do. You know it’s what you want to do. 

Once again, it’s Jisung that answers the door. When he sees you, he smiles playfully. 

“You’re around here a lot these days, Y/N. I wonder why.” 

You shake your head with an amused smile, refusing to encourage him. “And you’re too curious for your own good, Han Jisung. Is -” 

“Chan here?” he finishes, his grin widening. “Come in.” 

You nudge him by the elbow as he closes the door behind you, following him to the living room. You find Chan there with Minho, holding controllers, the coffee table covered in beer bottles and snacks. Jisung sits back down, pushing Chan’s hoodie back to reveal a chaos of brown curls. 

“It’s for you, lover boy.” 

Minho gives you a wave as he drinks a sip of beer, his eyes not leaving the television screen. Chan, however, looks up at you with wide eyes.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” 

You fidget a little, pulling on the sleeves of your jacket. “I wanted to talk to you. Do you have time?” 

“Y-yeah, of course…” Chan answers. He puts down the controller, standing up to meet you. Behind him, Jisung follows your conversation, not trying to be subtle in the slightest. “Is everything okay?” Chan adds in a whisper. 

You nod and smile reassuringly. “Yeah. Do you want to take a walk, maybe?” You are a bit tired from walking all the way here, but you’re not sure you want to do this inside. 

“Isn’t it raining?” Chan frowns. 

“It’s stopped,” you say, and Chan smiles. 

“Let me get my shoes.” 

You tell him to take his time, but Chan only heads towards the door and slips on his sneakers. You wave at Jisung and Minho, who you realize are now both staring at you suspiciously. 

“Ignore them,” Chan chuckles, putting a hand on your shoulder to guide you outside the door. 

The wind has picked up a little but it’s still not cold. You keep your hands in the pockets of your jacket, walking alongside Chan, who looks up at the now pitch black sky. There’s not much to see up there except the deep darkness - but perhaps Chan sees something you don’t. It wouldn’t be the first time. 

You walk for a minute or two, heading away from the busy street into a nearby residential neighborhood. It’s packed with huge houses, large lawns, neatly kept trees looming over your heads. Once in a while you feel a drop of rain fall on your head or your shoulders, but you don’t mind. 

“I’m just coming back from San’s,” you tell Chan, breaking the silence. You know he was waiting for you to speak first - giving you the time to find your words. 

He glances at you, looking concerned. “Oh?” 

“I felt we needed to have a conversation,” you nod. “I did a lot of thinking since the party and I just wanted him to know how I felt.” 

Chan breathes out. “How did it go?” 

“Good,” you smile. “I told him I missed him too.” You give Chan a look, but he’s staring ahead of him, lips closed, his hands behind his back. “But that it is over between him and me.”

Chan looks at you then. Is that pride in his eyes? 

“I didn’t mean to push you away,” you breathe. “That night at the party. And recently, not answering your calls. I just… I really needed to think.” 

“I know, love,” he says. The nickname tugs at your heart. You can’t ever get tired of hearing him call you that. “I never held it against you.” 

“And then I didn’t really talk to you, and -” 

“You needed to figure things out,” Chan softly interrupts. “You don’t have to apologize for that. You shouldn’t, even.” 

“But still. Things were good between us, and I’m scared I ruined everything,” you finally admit with a shrug, looking down at your feet.

Chan stops, taking you gently by the arm so you face him. He’s smiling, full lips curved upwards, his black clothes looking so cozy you wish you could cuddle up against him. 

“You didn’t ruin anything,” he frowns. “I mean, I don’t want to assume that there was anything between us, or that you have to -” 

“I like you.” It’s your turn to interrupt him. “I like you a lot, Chan.” 

He looks at you, and you let yourself get lost in his eyes. 

“You make me feel safe, and I have fun with you, and you get me. And if it’s something you want too, then I’d like to see where this could get us.” 

It feels good to let it off your chest - but it’s also much easier than you would have thought. You really mean it, you realize. Every word. Exploring a future with Chan is something you want, something your heart feels at peace about. 

You realize he still hasn’t spoken - but you’re not defeated by it. You just keep looking at him, smiling gently. 

“Please don’t feel like you have to answer now,” you whisper. 

He shakes his head and speaks in a whisper. “I’m just taking it in.” 

“What?” 

“You, telling me you like me back.” 

You blink in slight disbelief, letting out a laugh. You push your index against his chest. “You’re such a romantic, Bang Chan.” 

“Yeah, I am,” he laughs wholeheartedly, bringing you into his arms. You settle your cheek against his chest, your arms around him. He places a kiss on your hair, nodding to himself. “You better get used to it.” 

You stay like this for a minute, just breathing each other in, the wind swaying around you. You’re in Chan’s arms. He breathes alongside you. Your heart feels calm. Your heart feels free. 

“You know what I feel about you. It hasn’t changed. So can I take you on a real date now?” he asks, his fingers sliding in your hair, sending shivers through your entire body. 

You nod. “On one condition.” 

He leans back, finding your eyes. “Hm?” 

“Kiss me,” you breathe. 

He just grins, light shining in his eyes. His lips meet yours, delicately and lovingly, as if he wants to savor every second. You can believe it, because it’s the same for you. It’s a slow kiss, the kind that lasts for a lifetime, the kind you can’t ever forget. He tastes like trust, like the softest light, like rain that falls exactly at the right time.

You kiss for a long time, until your lips feel swollen, until your mouth is dry. Chan pushes his forehead against yours, stroking your cheek.

“How about we go home and get you warm?” 

You look up at him, your eyes twinkling in adoration. “Will you keep holding me?” 

He smiles. “I’ll never let go.”

Chan and you find the front door locked. He unlocks it, stepping inside an empty apartment. The bottles and snacks are still on the table, but the television is turned off and Jisung and Minho are nowhere to be seen. 

You remove your shoes, following Chan in the kitchen, where you find a note scribbled onto an old take out receipt. Out for drinks. Enjoy the empty apartment. 

Chan chuckles. “I guess they know.” 

You smile, wrapping your arms around Chan from behind. “I think Ji’s had his suspicions since I brought you soup.” 

“That was good soup.” 

He turns around, placing his hands on your waist, pulling you closer. Your hips almost meet his, making you feel a little dizzy. You place your palms against his chest, resisting the urge to slide them under his hoodie to feel his skin. 

“So…” you smile. 

“So,” he repeats with a chuckle. “What do you want to do?”  

You bite your lip, blushing slightly. 

“You want to… enjoy the empty apartment?” Chan suggests. You like his confidence, although you notice that his ears are bright red. 

You nod, stealing him a kiss. “I just want you.” 

He hums against your lips, his fingers digging into your skin. You take another step forward, decidedly pushing your hips on his, wrapping your arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. Chan tilts his head, his mouth seeking yours, and you can feel him parting your lips slowly. He doesn’t want to insist, but you let him, your tongue meeting his. Instinctively you arch your back, your fingers brushing the back of his neck. 

“I’ve been craving you so much,” Chan whispers. “I just want to feel you around me again.” 

You clench at his words, letting out a small moan that gets lost in his mouth. “Fuck, Chan…” 

“I want to make you feel good,” he breathes, kissing you again, and you can feel his length harden against your stomach. “Will you let me, love?” 

“Please touch me, Chan, I missed you so much…”

Just like that, he picks you up, and you wrap your legs around his waist. He starts to walk, never ceasing to kiss you, as he brings you to his bedroom. Once you’re there, he pushes the door closed, and lays you down carefully on the mattress. He’s warm, his muscular thighs pushing yours apart so he can settle between them. Leaning down to kiss you again, your head falling against the pillow, he grinds his crotch against you - and you can feel your walls throb. 

There are too many layers of clothing to your liking, so you tug at his hoodie and Chan understands the signal. He removes it and his t-shirt in one movement, letting you touch his chest freely. His jeans hang low on his waist, so you trace his abdominal muscles, let your fingers wander on his back. 

Your clothes are next, Chan kissing you all the while he removes them. Soon you are naked under him, one of Chan’s hands holding your breasts, brushing the back of his thumb on the nipple. You shudder, Chan leaning down to swirl his tongue around it, sending waves of pleasure through you.

But there’s something you want. Something that you’ve wanted to do, something you’ve been thinking about. “Chan -” 

“Yes, love?” he whispers, coming back to kiss your neck, his tongue leaving wet trails on your skin. 

“I want to taste you,” you breathe, and he looks up to meet your eyes. You stroke his hair, feeling a little shy. “Please, I can’t stop thinking about it…” 

Chan closes his eyes. “Fuck, I almost came just hearing you say that.” 

You both chuckle, sharing a feverish kiss. You sit up, moving positions so that Chan is the one laying down under you. His eyes are darker than ever, his lips swollen from the kissing. You can’t get enough of him, feeling almost drunk as you leave a trail of kisses down his chest, unbuttoning his shorts and lowering them. His cock bounces free, already hard, but you remove his clothes completely before you come back to take it in your hand. Chan sits up a little, leaning against his pillows, and he’s able to look at you. Gently, you palm his length, moving your hand up and down. Your thumb rolls around his tip, spreading the pre-cum there, and Chan grunts at your gesture. 

His fingers hold your hair back, his eyes never leaving your face as you slowly jerk him off, loving the way his cock pulsates around your fingers. In fact you are clenching around nothing, aching for pressure. But for now you want to take care of him - you want to show him just how much he means to you, how eager you are for him. 

You flick your tongue at the tip of his cock and Chan lets out a low groan, pushing his head back into the pillows. You smile softly, wrapping your lips around him, his moans dancing to your ears as you start to bob your head up and down. You suck him slow, teasing him with your tongue at the same time, attentive to the sounds he makes. Sometimes he twitches a little, or his fingers will slightly pull at your hair, and you know you’re doing something good. 

Your fingers leave his base when you try to take him as deep as you can in your mouth, feeling your lips stretch, saliva and pre-cum coating his cock. 

“F-fuck - Y/N - fuck, that feels good…” 

A single hum escapes your lips, but you do not stop blowing him, perhaps taking too much pleasure at feeling him lose composure. His hips buck, and you do not stop. You join the movement of your hand twisting around his base with your mouth, and Chan’s grip on your hair tightens.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck - ah, don’t - ah, Y/N, stop,” he whimpers, and you move your head back, looking up at him with wide eyes. Chan takes a second to breathe out, and you feel his cock throbbing in your hand. “I’m going to come if you keep going,” he chuckles. “I want this to last.” 

You smile, crawling back up on the bed for a kiss, straddling him. “Was it good?” 

“So good, love,” he grins, kissing you. “So, so good.” 

You settle your drenched core against his cock, rubbing it up and down the length, moaning in response. 

“You’re so wet,” he whispers against your ear, licking it gently. You whimper, desperate for touch. “Can I fuck you now, love?” 

“Yes, please,” you moan. 

Chan is quick to grab a condom from his bedside table, wrapping it around his length before he guides it against your entrance. Slowly, you push yourself down, his cock stretching you. You close your eyes at the feeling, the pleasure making you dizzy. Chan pulls your upper body closer to his, playing with your breasts as he starts to thrusts his pelvis, entering you deeper each time. You roll your hips, finding a rhythm quickly. 

It feels so good to have him close, so good to let yourself go. Your heavy breathing mixes with his, touching his chest as he fucks you, and you’re both lost in the moment, not exchanging a word. He enters you deeply, his thrusts both gentle and passionate. It is not quick, but steady, every movement measured. 

You fuck like that for a while, just breathing and moving with each other, until your pleasure starts to ramp up. You are clenching around Chan, who grunts in your ear, and he holds your waist, anchoring himself there to accelerate his thrusts. He’s fucking you harder, and you cry out his name as you come. He follows you quickly in his release, breathing your name, making you feel whole like only he can. 

Both you and Chan breathe out, bodies slightly swaying like in a storm, holding each other tight. His arms around you, your fingers on his skin. 

Lifelines. 

After a little while he kisses your neck, your cheek, your lips. You sigh because you don’t want to move, although you know you have to. 

“My love,” he whispers. “How about a shower and some food, just the two of us?” 

You smile, leaning back to kiss his nose. “Just you and me?” 

He nods. “Just you and me.” 

That’s all you need.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you let the taste linger on your tongue. Just enough sweetness, hints of bitterness, the perfect balance. You’ve never eaten something that good, you’re almost sure of it. Chan, who is sitting in front of you, lets out a chuckle.

“That good, huh?” 

You let out a soft moan. “Best ice cream I’ve ever tasted.” 

Chan grins. “I know something that tastes better.” 

You push his leg under the table playfully and he chuckles, shaking his head, both embarrassed and amused by his dirty joke. You can’t stop looking at him. He looks so handsome in his fitted black shirt, just one button undone, a slim silver chain around his neck. When he showed up at your door wearing that, fitted black trousers and leather shoes, you almost pulled him into your apartment and abandoned the idea of going to the restaurant. But Chan had also been holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers, his eyes sparkling with joy, and that made your heart dance in different ways. 

“Pardon my French, but you look fucking gorgeous,” he had said, leaning in for a kiss. 

You had hugged him, giggling like a teenager as he left a trail of kisses down your neck, his other hand touching the fabric of your black dress, exploring the way it hugged your body. You had to push him away and take the flowers from him - if you let yourself go against his embrace you knew you would never make it to the restaurant on time. 

Chan had made a reservation at a fancy place, not at all your usual style, but he had once gone with family and had loved the food, so he wanted you to taste it too. 

When you leave the restaurant, your belly is full, your heart content, your soul even more. You stop when you cross the door, however. While you were inside it started to rain. It’s not a drizzle - it’s heavy, cold rain, falling down straight and hard on the ground. 

“Damn,” you let out, glancing at Chan. “Should we wait it out, or…?” 

Something sparkles in his eyes, and he doesn’t need to speak for you to understand what he is thinking about. You let out a nervous giggle, giving him a single nod.

Chan takes your hand and the both of you dash into the rain. You let out a scream because the rain is cold, but you don’t stop. You and Chan run towards the car, crossing the parking lot as fast as you can. He doesn’t let go of your hand. 

You run fast, it feels like you have wings.

And yet, it’s like time slows down. 

You glance at Chan, his eyes disappear in crescents, his laugh the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard. You can’t help it - you stop, pull on his hand and draw his body towards you. 

Under the falling rain you kiss. 

He kisses you back, his lips hungry and smooth. 

You slide an arm around his waist, and slowly, you start dancing. 

Chan bursts in laughter against your lips. He draws back, looking at you with tenderness spilling out his eyes, and joins you in the dance. For a minute or two, you dance under the rain. You turn, swirl, sway. You can’t stop laughing. 

You kiss again, and the rain starts falling harder on your heads, and even then you do not stop.

— the end.

Well, hello ♡ Believe me, posting was a surprise for me as well! But I found myself missing writing, missing sharing my writing with you, missing this. So here is the sequel that I once talked about, that has been written for a long time! I hope it's not too disappointing. I remember the writing of it very fondly. ♡ Please be kind as I haven't posted in forever haha.

Thank you for sticking around, thank you for reading me. I am so incredibly thankful. I don't think I'll create a taglist for now, so do not ask please ♡ I hope you enjoyed this, and please take care of each other. Love you all ♡♡

[ruskaroma]

omg omg (i really need professional help) i had this Vision of dark+DARK+mean!john wick learning about an asshole who bullied their bunny-really-the-nicest-human-being!reader back during her school years (the reader cluelessly mentions it during conversation). john is not just angry outraged etc, he is The Rage, The War, The Biblical Day of Wrath, so he finds that guy, beats/tortures the living shit out of him and then brings his absolutely clueless little pretty bunny so that she could finish him. john is behind the reader, his arms wrapped around her arms, his hands on her shaking hands holding a gun pointing at the barely breathing man tied to a chair. the reader is crying begging to stop, and john goes "he deserves it, honey <3. now, right kneecap. go, princess, don't let me down".

Oh my god I have something for you.

Let’s give it a very dark twist, shall we? We’ll stick to this concept, but let’s make it even darker.

TW: mentions of past sexual and physical abuse, blood and gore, graphic depiction of torture, john being a very very mean man like he is fucked in the head may god bless his soul, john is also forcefully making the reader kill the man so there’s that.

It was a slip of your tongue. You didn’t notice it, but John surely did. You were used to rambling your thoughts away, a habbit that John adores so much, hearing your voice and telling him everything that’s in your head, because it means you’re not keeping any secrets from him.

A supposed to be peaceful Saturday night ruined John’s whole week, but he didn’t let it show. He kept himself composed around you, smiling so softly when you’d share a random fact about the things you’re holding or whatever comes in mind. He’s a master in the arts of keeping his expression controlled despite his emotions practically clawing their way out of his fucking lungs.

Your head was on his lap as he brushed your hair with his long fingers softly. For a hand that’s killed too many people to count, it’s surprisingly merciful around you. A shitty horror movie was playing on the TV but your attention quickly diverted to somewhere else when you watched a rather familiar scene in the film.

“Oh, man, that sucks. I know how it feels, I used to get hit by my ex-boyfriend all the time.”

What the fuck, John thought. His fingers stopped their movements as he furrowed his eyebrows. You said it as a whisper too but he heard it. He heard it fucking clearly.

“What?”

“Huh?” You moved your head to look up to him. “You said something?”

“You did,” John pointed out. “About your ex-boyfriend. What did you say?”

“Ohhh,” you said in realization, but your tone was calm. Like it was the most fucking normal thing to say in a conversation. “Yeah, he was mean. He used to hit me every time I made a very small mistake, but he said sorry when we broke up.”

John didn’t know what to say. He was frozen, trying to comprehend the words that were being thrown at him all at once.

His baby – the love of his life, someone who cannot even hurt a fucking ant – just dropped a bomb that she was a victim of abuse.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this before?” John tried to keep his voice leveled, soft, as he placed a large hand on your cheek and pulled you up so he could take a good look at your face.

“Well, you didn’t ask. And it’s not like it mattered anymore. I went to therapy and everything was back to normal.”

“No, that’s not –” he closed his eyes in frustration, trying so hard to keep his shit together. “Did he do anything else? Where is he now?”

“He’s–he’s doing fine. I don’t know where he is, it’s been awhile since we’ve gotten in touch.”

John could hear the tremble in your voice, like you knew what was going to come, like you knew what he’s going to do.

He didn’t answer after you said that. He looked away from you, put his attention back to the television.

You shrugged it off, hoping he would let it go.

*

He did not, in fact, let it go.

You came home one day after work to see him being rather... cheery than usual. It was unusual in itself. John being particularly cheery was not something you see in your everyday life.

He had already cooked dinner when you arrived, ate it beside you with an arm around your shoulders. He was also crooning at your ears, asking about your day if something special happened.

“I have a surprise for you.”

Your eyebrows flew up, curious yet amused. Is this why he was cheery all of a sudden?

He led you to his basement – a place where you’re never allowed to go, always bolted shut and completely restricted to you. You were getting a pretty bad feeling about this.

“What–what are we doing here, John?”

Again, he didn’t answer. You could see the grim, dark expression on his face as he opened the door. The face you only ever see when he was just coming back from a long, tiring day at work. The face you only see you know he just slaughtered someone.

Turns out, he did.

Not exactly slaughtered, but close enough.

The man who made you go through hell for years, tied up in a chair in the middle of the room, missing all his fingers on both his feet and hands.

“John, what the–”

Your boyfriend pushed a heavy pistol in your hand, and your heart is beating so hard inside your chest you couldn’t speak properly. You haven’t yet got the time to comprehend what was happening. It was all too fast.

“Pull it.”

“J-John, please don’t–”

“Pull it,” John repeated. He didn’t like repeating himself. You know this. He was standing behind you, his chest pressing against your back, warm and broad and his voice sounded so menice and fucking evil and– “Pull it, baby, before I do it myself.”

“Why are you–” your voice was shaking as well as your hands. You wanted to drop the weapon but you knew it wouldn’t do you any good, not when John was just behind you. “Why are you doing this, John? Please let him–let him go, it was a long time ago–”

“I don’t care,” he said simply, one large hand sneaking down to grab your wrist that’s holding the gun, pointing it directly at the man who’s – Jesus, was he still alive? You saw him move, he flinched, then let out a cough that made more blood from his mouth drip onto his lap. “I haven’t killed him yet because that’s your job.”

“N-No–” tears were forming into your eyes. The feeling of John’s hand gripping yours was already too much to bear, much worse pointing it to the man who abused and neglected you during your relationship, but why were you feeling bad? “John, I–I don’t w-want to, John, please, I don’t want–”

John sighed, disappointed, but he didn’t let you go. Instead, he leaned down closer to your ear and pressed a soft kiss there. His beard tickled, making you flinch and let out a shaky breath as you gulped hard.

“John, he–I know you’re doing this because you think it’s best, but I–I promise you that it’s not worth it–it’s in the past and, and–”

“Excuses, excuses,” John whispered, standing straight and taking a step away from you, positioning himself in front of the gun. “Here you are, begging for the life of the man who abused you in the past. Don’t you think that sounds absolutely ridiculous, baby?”

“It’s not–it’s not ridiculous, John, I promised! We–we talked one time after our breakup and he–he apologized for everything, I swear–I swear, John, it was all in the past–”

John cut off your rambling with an evil stare, and it was so unlike him that it scared you right to the very core. “Pull the trigger or I will. I’ll put a fucking hole in his head, saw it off and send it to his little wife and children back in Vegas.”

“John–” you sobbed. “John, please–”

“Did you know that I made him confess every diabolical shit that he’d done to you every time I chop off one of his fingers?” John said it in such a calm and steady tone that it made you only afraid of him even more. “I chopped all his fingers, and he still won’t stop confessing more. Can you believe that?”

“I already forgave him–I already forgave him, John, this wasn’t necessary–”

“It won’t be the same if I’m the one who pulls the trigger now, would it? It wouldn’t be fair, because I’m not the one who suffered under his hands,” John pushed even further, walking back to his original position behind you, gripping your arm and pointing the pistol directly at his head. “If you don’t pull that fucking trigger in the next five second, I’ll let you use a chainsaw to do it and trust me when I say you wouldn’t want it messy.”

You gulped, feeling yourself grow more and more afraid as John stood behind you. He was radiating anger, but he was keeping it at bay, though his swear words might be some of the leakage of his emotions he couldn’t contain any longer.

“I don’t want–don’t make me d-do this, John–”

“One...”

“John, please–”

“Two....” His voice was scary. Deep and level, and the grip on your arm tightened. You felt suffocated.

“I’m gonna throw u-up if I–”

“Three...” He was getting agitated.

The man’s head rose up from his position earlier to meet your eyes, and you swore you felt your stomach churn. His eyes were fucking gone.

The man opened his mouth to speak and a weak voice came. “D-Don’t–”

You pulled the trigger.

“There’s my little bunny.”

You dropped the gun as soon as his brains flew against your face and onto the wall, painting it red. You couldn’t bear to watch any further. You turned with a sob and buried your face in John’s chest, crying hysterically as he soothed you calmly by petting your head.

“Good girl. You did so fucking good, I’m so proud of you.”

[junk-culture]

chief whats the appeal of withnail and i... i kinda thought it sucked ://

THAT'S OKAY.... you don't have to like it..Each To Their Own.... ❤️ and i do think withnail & i is a very specific acquired taste. if the comedy isn't your kind of comedy or it just doesn't resonate that's fine lol. (and ik some people find the 'predatory gay man' trope in uncle monty's character a bit too much which is fine lol.)

i don't wanna try to change your mind about it because it's totally fine if you don't like it but also i would quite like to ramble about why i like it for 200 paragraphs if that's okay.

i do think withnail & i is something you probably have to watch at the right time, like mentally. like i first watched it when i was bored unemployed stagnating rotting in my small town flop era and so naturally it Resonated. i was literally drifting into the arena of the unwell. making an enemy of my own future etc. and it made me feel worse. it truly is a feel-bad film basically. but i don't mean that as a criticism i mean that's part of its appeal.

also i guess just that type of comedy appeals to me. i like nasty putrid absurd stupid but intelligently written black comedies. and i think richard e and the eighth doctor are very good in this film. like partly it is just a classic quotable comedy to me. and that's a subjective thing obviously. one man's cult classic is another man's it sucked. i learned recently that richard e was and is a teetotal which is pretty awesome considering how grotesquely high and unhealthy he managed to look.

obviously i can't neglect to mention the doomed yaoi though. that's certainly part of its appeal epecially on tumblr the doomed yaoi website. but it's like an absolutely wretched putrid ugly tobacco stained disgusting fried egg flavour of doomed yaoi. which is quite refreshing in my opinion.

but also just the character of withnail is so good. like he's insane and terrible but also extremely sad and someone to be sympathised with. i rewatched the film recently (lol) and what got me was how like. gracious he is about marwood's success. like the main tragedy of the film is marwood finally managing to break out of their mutually assured self destructive mess of bad habits but to do that he has to leave withnail behind. and it's heartbreaking to see withnail get left behind etc. but it's the way withnail for all his ranting and raving never like. openly begrudges marwood for his success like he always puts on a brave face and congratulates him, despite all the despair and bitterness he obviously feels internally. and he tries to "make time" drink driving back to london so marwood can make it back quickly for his audition and it's like </3 .especially because like. in the film we don't even know if marwood is Good at acting. at the end of the film when withnail does his hamlet speech it's like ohhh. he wasn't just a self-important dreamer with delusions of grandeur he can actually act. but it's marwood who gets the luck. and there's nothing really to suggest that he's a better actor than withnail or "deserves" it more. just a simple case of some people make it some don't. some escape the cycle some just stay and rot. idk man.

plus the fact that the film is partly autobiographical/partly based on someone bruce robinson knew? like it's coming from the heart basically.

also i think it is pretty well-shot/good looking as a film? i love the scenes in the countryside, withnail standing on the rock shouting into the misty void etc but also the beautifully pungent and detailed interiors of their flat.

(also, people say that withnail & i is a very specifically british film so i guess that's probably why it works for some and not others. both in terms of the humour and in terms of the subject matter i.e. the end of an era 60s was shit the 70s will be shitter everything's incredibly shit vibe. plus the specifics of monty and the dying breed of upper class twit he represents i guess and withnail's specific brand of oxford educated repressed homosexualism or what the fuck ever.)

idk it's hard to articulate exactly what the appeal of the film is and why i've watched it like 4 times but basically it's just funny and tragic in a way that i Get. joker voice you had to be there you wouldn't get it etc. if the ending theme with withnail walking off in the rain accompanied by his insanely sad clown music doesn't get to you then that's fine, i guess it's just not the movie for you. but me personally i <3 it :)

[ezziefae]

Thoughts while reading The Prisoners Throne Excerpt

Here's a rushed annotation of some parts of the excerpt that really drew my attention. Jurdan fans be ready for many surprises.

"Imagine you have a weapon. They had been in Vivi’s second apartment, standing on a small metal balcony. Inside, Taryn and Vivi had been fussing over Leander, who was learning to crawl. The Ghost had asked about Oak’s training and been uninterested in the excuse that he was eleven, had to go to school, and couldn’t be swinging around a longsword in the common space of the lawn without neighbors getting worried."

(this is a flashback) Taryn’s child makes their first debut!! Taryn named the boy Leander. (I’m assuming its a boy name) Since the Ghost is in Vivi’s apartments could that be a hint that he’s romantically involved with Taryn? Or it could also be that he’s accompanied Taryn to protect her. It's super cool to see The Ghost and Oak training together.

"Oak had actually liked making his own sword. It was huge and black with a bright red hilt covered in demonish faces. It looked like the sword of someone in an anime he’d been watching, and he felt like a badass, holding it in his hands. The sight of Oak’s blade had made the Ghost smile, but he didn’t laugh. Instead, he started moving through a series of exercises, urging Oak to follow. He told the prince should call him by his non‑spy name, Garrett, since they were friends."

Love that Holly is still referencing anime in the Elfhame series. Can we also talk about The Ghost’s character development? In TFOTA series he always kept to himself, and now he’s letting his closest friends call him by his real name.

"The prince has been imprisoned three weeks, according to the tallies he’s made in the dust beneath the lone bench. Long enough to dwell on every mistake he has made on his ill‑fated quest."

THREE WEEKS??? What the heck have Jude and Cardan been doing for three weeks??? I honestly expected for him to be rescued asap. If anything Jude and Cardan have been carefully planning to save oak and I guess that takes a lot of time. 

"His family must be in a panic right now. He trusts that Tiernan got Madoc to Elfhame safely, no matter what the redcap general wanted. But Jude would be furious with Tiernan for leaving Oak behind and even angrier with Madoc, if she guesses just how much of this is his fault."

I really want to see someone from Elfhame’s POV on Jude finding out on Oak being taken prisoner by Wren. I want to see a raging Jude. I’d be terrified to be in Tiernan’s place, since it was his job to protect Oak, and he failed that.

"Possibly Cardan would be relieved to be rid of Oak, but that wouldn’t stop Jude from making a plan to get him back. Jude has been ruthless on Oak’s behalf before, but this is the first time it’s scared him. Wren is dangerous. She is not someone to cross. Neither of them are."

OHH??? OHHH???? So many things are thrown at us here. Oak has a reason to believe that Cardan doesn’t like him??? To the point where Oak believes Cardan would even be RELIEVED to get rid of him? That was SUPER unexpected. Oak finally takes it in that neither Wren or Jude are people to cross. As much as I hate saying this, I want a Jude and Wren fight. That would be amazing. Not saying I want either of them to die, or get hurt, but that would be an intense scene. 

“I can do better,” he says. “And perhaps you might bring me a little gossip to cheer the chilly monotony of my days.” “You’re very silly, Your Highness,” she says after a moment, biting her bottom lip a little.

Oak is using his most dangerous power, seduction. Screaming. 

"He remembers Oriana’s warning to him when he was a child. A power like the one you have is dangerous, she said. You can know what other people most want to hear. Say those things, and they will not only want to listen to you. They will come to want you above all other things. The love that a gancanagh inspires—some may pine away for desire of it. Others will carve the gancanagh to pieces to be sure no one else has it."

I'm so glad holly is diving deep into this, We know that Locke also had this power, and how he was wielding it in TFOTA series. 

"That night, he wakes to the sight of a snake crawling down the wall, its black metal body jeweled and glittering. A forked emerald tongue tastes the air at regular intervals, like a metronome. It startles him badly enough for him to back up against the bars, the iron hot against his shoulders. He has seen creatures like it before, forged by the great smiths of Faerie. Valuable and dangerous. The paranoid thought comes to him that poison would be one straightforward way to solve the problem of his being held by an enemy of Elfhame. If he were dead, there’d be no reason to pay a ransom."

Oak sees this snake, and he immediately thinks it was sent from elfhame to kill him. Which is insane for him to believe that. 

"He doesn’t think his sister would allow it, but there are those who might risk going around her. Grima Mog, the new grand general, would know exactly where to find the prince, having served the Court of Teeth herself. Grima Mog might look forward to the war it would start. And, of course, she answered to Cardan as much as Jude."

"Not to mention there was always the possibility that Cardan convinced Jude that Oak was a danger to them both."

WHAT IS THIS DISAPPROVAL CARDAN HAS ON OAK?? The fact that Oak believes Cardan sent the snake to KILL HIMM, that's absolute madness. Like what the helll did this man do to Oak to make him feel this way?? Cryingggg. 

"It yawns widely enough for him to see silver fangs. The links of its body move, and a ring comes up from its throat, clanging to the floor. He leans down and lifts it. A gold ring with a deep blue stone, scuffed with wear. His ring, a present from his mother on his thirteenth birthday and left behind on his dresser because it no longer fit his finger. Proof that this creature was sent from Elfhame. Proof that he was supposed to trust it."

THIS IS THE RING THAT'S ON THE COVER!! Now we know what the ring means to Oak!!

“Prinss,” it says. “In three daysssss, you mussss be ready for resssss‑cue.” “Rescue?” Not here to poison him, then. The snake just stares with its cold, glittering eyes.

Okay so Jude sent a snake as a messenger to Oak, to let him know that they're coming to save him in three days. Cool….coool.

“Give me longer,” he says, no matter that it’s ridiculous to negotiate with a metal snake and even more ridiculous to negotiate for his own imprisonment, just in order to get a chance to speak with someone who refuses to see him. “Two more weeks perhaps. A month.”

THIS STUBBORN BOYYYYYY. Oh I know Jude would be absolutely furious for that.

"Oak slides the ring onto his pinkie finger, watching the snake as it coils its way up the wall. Halfway to the ceiling, he realizes that just because it wasn’t sent to poison him doesn’t mean it wasn’t sent to poison someone."

BIG MISTAKE MISTER SNAKE, BIGGGGG MISTAKEEEE.

He jumps onto the bench and grabs for it, catching the end of its tail. With a tug, it comes off the wall, falling against his body and coiling around his forearm. “Prinsssss,” it hisses. As it opens its mouth to speak, he notes the tiny holes in the points of its silvery fangs. When it does not strike, Oak pries the snake carefully from around his arm. Then, gripping the end of its tail firmly, he slams it down against the stone bench. Hears the cracking of its delicate mechanical parts. A gem flies off. So does a piece of metal. He whips it against the bench again.

Oak really said “oh hell no, you're not killing the women i love, nah uh,” and then proceeds to kill it in a very violent unsettling manner. Everyone was right when they said that Oak was like Madoc.

Straun spits on the floor in front of the prince’s cage. “No amount of gold or gems will save you. If my winter queen wants you to rot here, you’re going to rot.” “Your winter queen?” Oak repeats, unable to stop himself. The falcon looks a little shamefaced and turns to go back to his post. He’s young, Oak realizes. Older than Oak, but not by so very much. Younger than Hyacinthe. It shouldn’t be a surprise that Wren made such an impression on him. It shouldn’t bother Oak, shouldn’t fill him with a ferocious jealousy.

THE JEALOUSY HAS ME CACKLING. He was imprisoned, neglected in his cell by wren and yet he's jealous whenever someone else has lovey dovey eyes for wren. This man is so down for wren, and I don’t blame him. 

The Ghost taught him how to move stealthily, but he’s never been very good at it. He blames his hooves, heavy and hard. They clack at the worst possible times. But he makes an effort, sliding them against the floor to minimize noise.

Super cool to see how much The Ghost has impacted Oak's skills. The court of shadows in general has been a huge part in Oak’s training and it shows.

Oak moves fast, jerking Straun backward and covering his nose and mouth with the cloth. The guard struggles, but inhaling blusher mushroom slows his movements. Oak presses him to the floor until he’s unconscious.

THERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Welp, The excerpt ends in Oak escaping his cell…..after all thar chaos i've become too impatient. Just 3 Months until this book comes out !!! 

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s5 episode 16 thoughts

are we sat for some REAL scully and mulder time?? some classic case action?? will mulder eat sunflower seeds and scully do an autopsy?? we must begin to find out.

(well, i found out. and i diagnose this episode with lacking in scully)

this episode really didn’t do anything for me, which is often the case when scully does not feature prominently. it’s like, if she’s not going to be on the screen, why are we here? to just watch a bunch of random other stuff? absolutely not. this is the mulder AND scully show. frankly, they’re more like two halves of a whole than separate people. unless the writers have cooked up a specific and intentional solo episode, focusing just on mulder rarely works! 

mulder, you are my special boy, but it is also clear that you are the writer’s special boy, and that does kinda piss me off, because i believe that being a special boy is a gender neutral activity

anyway.

we begin in delaware, where someone, later revealed to be named marty, is walking up some stairs. she lights a cigarette on the stove (which seems dangerous) and then receives some spooky visions of a man being stabbed. which is not great. 

the cops find the stabbed guy in a motel with marty hiding behind the curtain!! she’s covered in blood. and blind. they make a big point of this.

is this gonna be like, diversity win! the killer is blind! or did she start to sit down for a smoke in front of the TV and then get teleported to the scene? 

scully tells us that the deceased, named little monster (put your paws up!) is a drug dealer that used children in his dealings. wow. he sounds like an awful guy. do not disgrace the little monster name.

(just now, as i edit my notes, realizing how funny it is we get scully saying “little monster”… scully lady gaga fan confirmed?! she bent time and space to stream disease)

mulder points out he has the same pair of pants as the dead drug dealer. classic mulder.

marty glenn was found at the scene of the crime. she has been blind since birth and has an extensive rap sheet. how could she bleed a man out with surgical precision, you ask? idk, maybe she’s just that good

LMAOOO this guy who is here from the case, detective pennock, is convinced marty has a sixth sense, which i am sure mulder is not used to hearing. he must have been relieved.

bahaha when they come to visit her, marty clarifies that it’s not magic that lets her know it’s detective pennock, it’s his trash cologne. read him for filth.

she asks who is with him, though. when mulder introduces himself she asks “and the lady?” so she is very perceptive. or perhaps she can see things in other ways…? supernaturally?

ohhh, she asks mulder what he’s staring at and he says “an innocent woman… i hope” now what is afoot here…

(i should have known. mulder and that Need to save people who often don’t even want his help)

scully is asking her questions. ohh, marty’s a real firecracker. marty yells out to “stinky”, the detective, who is watching through a one way mirror!! she says she fed the murder weapon to her seeing eye dog. so marty’s got jokes, i see.

mulder is intentionally provoking her, trying to point out that she was doing an awful job cleaning up at the murder site, and clearly she couldn’t have done the whole killing thing, because she is BLIND, so why don’t you just tell us who did it so we can go out and get ‘em?

will this provoke her into revealing her hand?

she slaps his cup of water away and tells him to go to hell! so i guess this did not have its intended effect 

mulder thinks she’s honed all her senses around her blindness, and that she is trying to project an image of confidence. but he doesn’t think that she killed the little monster, even if she won’t explain herself and somehow knew there was only one stab wound. ohhh, do you think she’s covering for some kid that the drug dealer worked with going in there and taking care of business on their own??

(damn. would have been cool if that was what happened. kids killing drug dealers is so rarely a plot point in media. together we can change this)

scully is going to the crime scene with detective pennock while mulder is staying behind to “investigate something”. nooo, don’t separate! you’ll make me sad :(

(the agents separating either leads to soul-crushing angst or an incredibly boring episode)

marty’s taking a polygraph, but she wants to skip the baseline questions and get to the good stuff. and while i do not believe in polygraphs, i can imagine that if they DID do anything of use, skipping the calibration stage would be a bad idea. she denies all involvement with the murder. hmmm. it seems she’s lying about having no reason to know little monster, though.

mulder writes “did you see the murder?” on a piece of legal paper (i like his handwriting!) and shows it to the man operating the test, who reacts like he’s pulling some sick joke. but marty says “why don’t you just ask me yourself?”. and again the polygraph machine says she is lying when she says no!!!

mulder calls to share this news and LMAOOOO thank god scully said what i have been thinking for 5 seasons now: “would you like me to remind you why polygraphs are inadmissible in court?” <- truly a woman of science and reason!! my beloved scully!!

ohhhhh, she tells mulder to give her a call when he figures it out… and then finds bloody gloves tucked into the place where you put used shaving blades at the crime scene!

(having a special place where you put used shaving blades is absolutely CRAZY, btw. i feel like that is just asking for a disaster. but i guess that leaving them in the trash would do the same thing! oh, a glimpse into a world i was glad to not be around for…)

marty is seeing more terrifying visions of a woman in a bar in great danger!!! she’s calling out for a phone. she calls and tells some bartender about a guy hitting on a redhead at the end of the bar!!! and he’s right there!!!! the woman is able to escape because she tells him to leave her alone!!! and that she’s watching him!!!

damn… does she know this guy??

they are giving her the gloves found in the razor slot, saying her prints are already all over them!!

mulder points out she hasn’t applied for any benefits, which leads scully to wonder if she is lying about being blind! hmm…

i also love “okay, so by your reasoning, the killer took off with the murder weapon but not the gloves, leaving marty to come in, go straight to the gloves and hide them in the one place that nobody would easily think to find them” (he nods) “i think that’s the most accurate scenario available to us right now”

-said while looking deeply into scully’s eyes… yeah <3 king of facts and logic /s

the guy who was hitting on the woman at the bar is trying to sell little monster’s drugs!!!

now they’re testing marty to learn if she is really blind, and while the answer is yes, her pupils dilate at one point, when she happens to be seeing the visions. mulder goes in to ask what she sees, but is interrupted by detective pennock!! the DA is saying he won’t try her without a murder weapon, and to let her go. 

she’s checking out and mulder watches her go. scully says there are two kinds of blood on the gloves, and she’s sending them to the lab!!! shoutout to the lab. an unsung hero.

meanwhile, the murderer is assaulting the redhead, and marty sees the visions. she yells that she needs to get to spring street and then walks into traffic trying to get there!!! a man guides her there. shoutout to that guy for real because she was going to get hit by a car. 

she’s trying to find anything on spring street, and she finds the poor woman’s body in the dumpster!! and now her prints are all over her body!!

marty comes back to the police office to say she killed them both with the blood on her hands!!

does she think this will make the visions stop??

time to deploy mulder. he lights her cigarette, and says he likes and admire her. he thinks she tried to stop the murders, but didn’t get there in time. and she needs to help them stop him before he- whoever he is- kills again. he says he won’t let her plead guilty!! oh, mulder’s need to save everybody……

the murderer is on the phone, and the person who was going to buy drugs from him says he won’t do it; someone is clearly gunning for him, and he does not want to get involved. some old girlfriend called him to warn against dealing with him?!? the killer is trying to convince phone man to go through with the deal, but he is getting mad. 

mulder is going over the files, when detective pennock walks in saying she signed the confession. claiming to have killed them for drugs, and she even knows where to find them! she leads them to the murderer’s drugs!

mulder doesn’t buy it at all.

“you are one skeptical guy, agent mulder!” <- LMAO he was shocked by that. been called a lot of things in his life, but not skeptical lmaooo

scully’s calling! neither of the blood types on the glove match marty’s!!! she didn’t do it!!!

the dealer guy just watched them take the drugs… 

mulder’s back. you can’t get away from him. he sits next to marty in her cell. he says he knows who she’s protecting!! “you’re protecting the man who murdered your mother” <- HUH???

she died from a single stab wound to the right kidney!! just like the others!!!

but she never met her mother?? somehow she was pregnant with marty when it happened but died?? and they were able to save marty?? how is that possible?? you know what! i’m not going to worry about it.

so the blood flow interruption caused her blindness… and maybe during that time she gained a connection between herself and the killer where she sees through his eyes. and that doesn’t make her responsible. her being in jail won’t accomplish anything. he tells her they’ll find him with or without her help. 

this is pretty crazy world building to just dump on us at this point

they take her somewhere else in cuffs, but she’s receiving another vision!!! one of herself!!! the killer must be near!!! he is!! he’s watching her get loaded into the car!!

off to a women’s detention center. where mulder is already there!!! she’s being released because she is no longer a suspect. 

they found the guy!!! charles!!! it was his blood on the glove!

OH SHIT HE’S HER FATHER??? that was their connection??? she’s crying upon hearing this :(

detective pennock will not pursue aiding and abetting charges IF she agrees to help them find the guy. ooooo… she agrees. on the condition that she will be protected until he is caught. 

wait, why is mulder talking into a walkie talkie hot? what the hell. don’t worry about that actually.

scully is here too, listening to this explanation. “well, if all this is true, let’s go get him” <- that’s the spirit!!! who cares if the spiritual nonsense is real, we have crime to solve!

but he doesn’t think the killer will be in there…

detective pennock is in marty’s room while she packs, saying she doesn’t need to bring everything. but she says it’s too late!! he’s already here!!

she knocks pennock out with a tea kettle and steals his gun!!! go get him!!

mulder and scully are rushing back to her place. the killer is here!! he is approaching her!!!

OHHH SHE STANDS UP!!! “i hate the way you see me” and BLAM!! shot right in the head!!!

pennock is locking her up, saying she did this one. they watch as she is walked away.

mulder comes to visit, offering his hand through the cell. she says all she sees now is the sea, near where her father slash the killer used to live. 

“well, you’re lucky he wasn’t a fan of the ice capades”, he says, once again referring to something i know nothing about.

(i looked it up and it’s a traveling ice skating show. why does bro hate the ice skaters so much! anyway, i threw wikipedia $15 for always being there for me like a best friend. and i still want to read an ice skating fic so you didn’t persuade me you’d look bad out on the rink, mulder)

okay, so final thoughts: while this was a semi-interesting episode with an attempt to pull on my heartstrings, and a noble one at that, there was barely any scully at all. and this is essential to my enjoyment of an episode.

also, the lore reveal that her mother was murdered and her dad was the killer, and in the process of somehow killing her mother but not her, they formed a psychic connection, was just too sudden for me. it felt weird and abrupt and like it wasn’t hinted to at all, and then it was supposed to make perfect sense. it did not. 

listen, every season has a few flop episodes, and maybe that’s what we’re dealing with here. so far though, i think s5 has had the highest bangers to flops ratio, which is to say that most of the episodes have been very good, so we are due a less interesting one here or there.

but you know what would make them more interesting? scully <3

anyway, as always, tell me what you think! was this episode also just meh for you, or did you love it? or hate it? know any fun facts? any interesting memories from when you watched it the first time? please do share!

[tonyspank]

HEART

Warnings: Swearing, Frankie, bad writing and a taser?

A/N: Currently writing the next chapter for The Party & The After Party, also this could be read as GN! , there's a few mentions that you're a female tho

Words: 2.7k

Tara Carpenter x Female! Reader

Being Chad Meek's best friend had a lot of benefits. Including, knowing when a party was happening. This is exactly how you found yourself at this house party, dressed up as Spider-Man.

You knew Chad from your football team, he was your quarterback and you were the first female wide receiver to ever play in Blackmore University or the NCAA division in general.

Due to that everyone knew who you were, but you didn't care about the fame or the popularity, you just wanted to enjoy college and get to play football alongside your best friend.

There had been times when people would try to befriend or even date you for your name instead of your actual personality, and it made it hard for you to truly make friends or fall for someone.

Your trust issues began when your ex-girlfriend cheated on you with Frankie. She was the first person (other than Chad) to introduce herself to you and show you around campus.

The two of you started dating about three months after your friendship, and something always felt a little off. It felt as if you were on the same page but on different levels. You wanted to stay out and watch stupid thriller movies and cuddle on the couch while she wanted to go out to parties and show you off anytime she could.

You and Kayla did have a couple of things in common, you got along well, but if anything it was intuitively that you were more like friends or whatever. Sure, you guys were intimate but it still didn't feel right, you were never in love.

And you surely knew she didn't love you.

Especially, after seeing her under Frankie in your own dorm room.

Yeah, that was very disrespectful.

She then proceeded to tell you that she never liked you and only used you for Instagram followers and more friends. Yes, it hurt. But it was better to have her out of your life than to be living with a lie.

After your breakup with Kayla, you thought you'd be sad, but in reality, it just opened up your eyes a bit more. You felt more at ease.

"What's wrong with my sweatpants?" You ask, your voice slightly muffled through the Spider-Man masking over your face.

"I'm telling you I've never seen Spider-Man wear sweatpants," Chad tells you, taking a sip of his drink. You playfully roll your eyes looking over to Ethan for his help, noticing he speaks up.

"Actually, he does in the Miles Morales Spider-Man and Andrew Garfield's Spider-Man did behind the scenes."

"But none of that is live action," Chad argues his case causing you to let out a sigh.

"Regardless of how uncanon my Spider-sweats are." Chad furrows his eyebrows shaking his head as you continue, "I still have the best costume here."

"I think Ethan's outfit is pretty cute," Chad says, motioning to Ethan who smiles in response. You jokingly pinch the curly-haired boys' cheeks, "Yeah, but Ethan's just cute in general."

Ethan slaps away your hand while Chad shrugs nodding in agreement. "I'm going to go bother the lovebirds!" You quickly announce, patting Chad's shoulder before leaving.

You make your way through drunk college students and sweaty bodies before noticing Mindy and Anika cuddled up on the couch, walking over you softly push them apart, sitting right between them.

Mindy sends you a playfully fake smile leaning in close to whisper, "I'm going to fucking beat your ass after this party." She fake laughs afterwards noticing that Anika is watching. You fake laugh as well, but side-eye Mindy in slight fear which she can't see due to the Spider-Man covering your face.

Anika is about to say something but her eyes wander off, worry filling her face. Both you and Mindy follow her view, and you notice a female pirate walking alongside Frankie.

You clench your jaw as Anika voices her worries, "Ohhh, I don't love that." Mindy hums in agreement, Anika quickly gets up, softly grabbing the pirate's arm. She turns around with a smile listening to her friend. "Hey, wanna call it a night?"

The smile is still prominent on her face she looks around before answering, "No, uh. I actually think that I'm still going to hang, but you guys don't have to wait for me."

Frankie speaks up with a smirk on his face, "Don't worry. I'll take care of her, I'm Frankie."

Anika shakes her head, "And I'm spectacularly uninterested in knowing anything about you." Frankie scoffs in response while the female Captain Hook laughs, leaning in as she lowers her voice. "No, dude. Anika, I'm not that bad."

She takes a few steps back, slightly walking away. "But I appreciate you looking out for me." Frankie sends Anika a cocky smile before following the dark-haired girl.

You decide now is the time to step in, "I'm going to go help her." Mindy nods her head, sitting up on the couch as you walk over to Anika.

"I'll follow her. You get Chad." You instruct, Anika mumbles, "Okay." And you both walk off in different directions.

"Aren't you that girl involved in that 'Stab' shit in California last year?" You hear Frankie as, she lets out a chuckle, "No. That's a different pirate."

Standing at the end of the steps you speak up, "Frankie! Hey, why don't we keep the party down here? I'd hate to miss out."

Frankie and the pirate turn around at your voice, and you feel Chad beside you. "I think we're good Y/L/N." He replies, recognizing your voice through the mask.

"Well, Tara's good down here." Chad joins in, and immediately Frankie responds. "I'm sorry. I didn't catch that."

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, you did." Chad remarks, trying his best to stay calm. Tara walks down a couple of steps, standing in front of you and Chad. "No, Chad it's fine. I want to."

Frankie walks down too, getting close to Chad's face. "Yeah, see Chad? It's fine she wants to." He turns back around but not before roughly grabbing Tara by her arm, she lets out an, "Ow." and you swiftly grab Frankie by his shirt, pulling him down the stairs.

"Don't fucking grab her like that." You push him away into the wall and a crowd suddenly appears, you don't notice Chad checking on Tara as you're focused on the Frat boy in front of you.

He pushes you back, "Get the fuck off me!" Tara removes herself from Chad's grip walking behind you and gripping your Spider-suit as much as she can, using all of her drunken strength to pull you away from Frankie. "Guys! Guys stop."

Chad angrily steps in, grabbing Frankie by his shirt, and pushing him onto the ground. And as you're being pulled away by Tara, Mindy walks in waving a hand basically telling you to go help Chad.

You glance at Chad then Tara who's shocked at the sight going on in front of you, then at Mindy. You knew Chad could handle himself for a couple of seconds until you got the drunk pirate out of the situation before she hurt herself trying to split up another fight.

"Excuse me!" You shout at the crowd, nearly everyone steps out of your way as you slightly and as softly as you can pull Tara away. Your heart drops when someone suddenly appears in front of you, "Hi! Sorry to interrupt, I'm just going to tase you really quick." Before you could plead your case, you feel a sharp pain in your stomach causing you to drop to your knees.

"Fuck!" You yell out, slapping your hand against the wooden floor. It felt like every muscle in your stomach had a Charlie horse, and you couldn't help but stay curled up on the ground even while Mindy rushed to your side, alongside Tara asking you if you were okay.

Chad was also there too, with a bloody nose. He takes off your mask, showing everyone your squinted eyes, furrowed eyebrows, and your parted lips.

Sam stands there, confused and guilty. Did she tase the wrong person?

"Sam! You tased the wrong person!" Mindy shouts at her. Oh. She did tase the wrong person.

You roll over onto your back, your hands on top of your stomach and you sit up. The group is silent, waiting for your reaction. "Fuck... that really hurt." You mumble, letting out a small laugh after.

Chad smiles, confused but begins laughing with you and everyone soon joins in, helping you up from the ground. As Chad and Mindy both have your arm making sure you were okay Sam walks up, and her face is filled with guilt.

"Holy shit! It's that psycho girl!" Someone yells out from the crowd. Sam sends a slight glare before turning her head back toward you.

"Shit. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to—" You cut her off with a wave, "It's okay." You then tell the twins you're okay, and they reluctantly let you go.

You look around looking for Frankie who definitely deserved the thirty seconds of pain you went through. Noticing he's gone you now focus on Chad, who whips his nose with a smirk on his face.

"I won the fight." He informs you with a jolly smile on his face.

-

Tara storms in front of the group, in embarrassment and anger at her sister.

"Tara! Will you stop!" Tara doesn't stop but only slightly turns her head to speak to her sister. "I cannot believe you did that, you embarrassed me!" Tara faces the front again, continuing her struts.

"I was trying to help you!" Tara turns around, upset if it wasn't obvious before. "And look what happened!" She raises her voice, motioning to you. Your face heats up in embarrassment, as you scratch your nose.

"You're out of my life for five years then you can't even leave me alone for five seconds!" She shouts, throwing her arms up.

"Because you're not dealing with what happened to us. Have you ever gone to see the counsellor at least once?" You look around the group, seeing Mindy let out a sigh watching the scene unfold in front of her.

"No, and I'm not going to." Sam shakes her head, "Why not!"

"Because I'm uninterested in living in the past like you are." Sam furrows her eyebrows, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Chad then takes in a deep breath, tired of the back and forth between the two siblings. "Hey, guys, come on—" He's unheard or ignored as Tara continues. "It means I'm not gonna let what happen to us for three days define the rest of my life!"

"So you're just going to pretend it never happened?" Tara closes her eyes, trying to calm down, and when she reopens them her tone is softer than before.

"What are you doing here Sam? In New York." Sam scoffs, as Tara continues. "I mean y-you're working two shitty jobs to help with.. rent, whatever, but what's your plan?" She stumbles a bit on her words, and you think it's due to the alcohol in her system.

Sam slightly shakes her head, not knowing what to say as Tara proceeds with her point. "I know what I'm going to do. Okay? Because I'm going to keep going to college, I'm going to get my degree, and I'm gonna live my life."

You twist your lips and shift your weight from one foot to another.

"My life," Tara says, slapping her hand against her chest. "That I know." Sam eyes her sister with a slight furrow in her eyebrows. "You just follow me here and you won't let me out of your sight."

"Just trying to look out for you." Tara speaks up, "I—" but cuts herself off, letting out a sigh as she runs her hands down her face. "I know. I know you are."

"You can't do it for the rest of my life though, you have to let me go." There are footsteps heard coming up, Tara turns her head and before anyone could react or say something, Sam is getting a drink splashed onto her.

The girl yells out, "Murderer!" as her one of friends records. Sam gives the girl a shove causing her to slightly stumble back, quickly Chad and you hold Sam back not wanting her to do anything rash. "Fuck is wrong with you, bitch!"

The girl points at Sam, "You guys should stay away from her. She knows what she did!" Sam pushes Chad away, and Tara joins in with you trying to hold back her surprisingly strong sister. "I didn't fucking do anything!"

"Sure, bitch." The girl says, walking away backwards with her friends.

As the group walks away you stand back waiting for Sam as she rings out her shirt, Ethan takes notice of this, walking back and offering her tissues. She eyes the boy before taking the tissues out of his hand. Ethan walks off once Sam looks at him.

You walk to Sam, offering her your Spider-Man mask, "Uh, it's not a tissue but I'm sure it'll help?" She shakes her head waving it off.

"Also, um. I'm Y/N, and for what it's worth I think you're a good sister for trying." She stares at you a bit before nodding, and you begin walking away following the group.

Before you know it you're standing in the middle of the Carpenter-Bailey's living room, awkwardly. Chad is settling down, taking off his jacket and hat and putting on a t-shirt.

Sam, Tara, and Quinn were all in their selected rooms as the rest of you were in the living room.

"Chad?" He hums in response turning around to face you, "I think I'm going to leave."

"Oh, okay. Need me to walk you home?" He genuinely asks, you shake your head. "Nah, it's fine. Tell Tara and Sam it was nice to meet them."

You wave goodbye to Mindy and Anika who are sitting on the couch in front of you before exiting the apartment.

Moments pass and Tara's back in the living room, looking around. "What are you looking for?" Mindy laughs confused, Tara looked like a lost puppy as she searched around the small apartment.

"Where'd she go?" The two girls and Chad furrow their eyebrows. "Who?" Anika asks.

"Uh, Chad's friend." She utters, embarrassed. Mindy immediately noticed how pink Tara's cheeks were and the paper in her hand. Mindy shoots up from the couch, "What's that?"

Tara's eyes move to Mindy's view, she quickly pockets the folded note. "Nothing! I just felt bad that Sam tased the fuck out of them when they wanted to help me."

Mindy turns her head at Anika and Chad, raising her eyebrows and they instantly get the message. Tara thinks you're cute, and that note would confirm it. "Oh!" Chad says, standing up from his chair. "I could always give it to her."

Tara's eyes leave Mindy and go to Chad, "Really?" She says hopefully, "You wouldn't read it right?"

Quickly he shakes his head, "No. No. No! Of, course not!" He holds out his hand so Tara can give him the note, and she does. Anika watches this from the couch, but her jaw drops when she sees Mindy's hand snatch the note and runs to her with it.

"Mindy!" Tara shouts, trying to run after her but Chad grabs her, and all Tara can do is watch Mindy open her note in, reading it out loud.

"hi! this is tara, the pirate from the party. sorry that we had to meet on such terms, please let me make it up to you, from tara. HEART!" Mindy reads, shouting the last bit.

Chad lets Tara go with a shocked face, and Tara covers her own face in embarrassment.

Everyone's head turns to the door, noticing you standing there. "Hi..." You awkwardly, mumble out. "I forgot my mask." You tell them, pointing at it beside Anika on the couch.

Mindy looks at the mask, then at you. "How long have you been here?"

"Um.." You scratch your eyebrow. "Long enough to accept Tara's proposal." You laugh, with a cheeky smile.

Tara smiles widely, her face nearly as red as a tomato.

[grayintogreen]

what about dissecting ashley's monologue to indulge a reader instead 👀

I do think that, like, examples work best for people who maybe really like the vibes that post is putting out, but want to see it in action, so it does work as a teaching moment.

I do also what to preface this by saying that not every monologue needs to hit all or any of these criteria. It is, specifically, about being unsettling, but I think if you hit the first big monologue with a lot of these, it will make EVERYTHING the villain says way more unsettling just because you know what they're capable of. Ashley gets a lot of jokes (from me, mainly from me) for being a wordy little shit, but he only has a handful of true monologues and ALL OF THEM occur when he has the people he's monologuing at at his mercy. I think the biggest crime a villain can commit is monologuing before they've secured a victory. (This is why Ludinus irks me where Lucien never did- Lucien's monologues ALWAYS occurred when he had the upper hand and right before he pulled a full Ozymandias, whereas Ludinus tends to monologue seconds before he gets utterly humiliated. Like yeah, he got away and technically "won" but he talked too soon. That said, Ludinus's monologues do fit a lot of these criteria, so like… They're good monologues. He's just doing it way too soon, but, like, I get it. Poor Matt would never get to use those speeches if he didn't.)

Also Ashley is Lucien's narrative foil and based on Brennan Lee Mulligan so of course he knows when and where to deliver his speeches.

BUT TO THE POINT. The monologue in dreamers is EXTREMELY important, because it's Ashley's proper introduction (barring the scene at the end of OUADYA where he is merely set up as Jayne's partner. Lord Allard's son, and an annoyance to her, which makes him seem like some cheap additional muscle). This monologue is basically Ashley's Establishing Character Moment after he's wasted the Tombtakers, who had previously wasted the Mighty Nein with a surprise attack and then additionally wasted several Assembly wizards, proving he's a scarier threat.

But let's break it down! I'm gonna go through the full scene alongside all ten examples in the post so this will get long and… extremely indulgent, so remember I WAS ASKED. #autism

A fifth person stumbled out and then stumbled backwards- a skinny, though well-muscled, man in light plate with a dark bowl-cut and piercing blue eyes. His eyes widened underneath his fringe of straight bangs and he dragged his teeth down his bottom lip.

“Oh… Oh boy. That is… Yikes. You, uh, really tore into my friends there.” He pushed further in instead of running, which seemed unbearably stupid and just a bit irritating. It might have been fun if he tried to flee. “So that happened.” Tyffial’s nostrils flared and she advanced. One more easy kill then? One more easy kill then. He blinked at her as she took graceful strides towards him like a predatory beast, but didn’t move. It was as if she didn’t have a necrotic blade in her hand and blood splattered across her tanned skin. It was as if he believed if he didn't move, she could not see him. “Ohhh. Oh you’re gonna kill me now. Fantastic. Just one thing I gotta say first.” His entire bearing changed before Tyffial could abort her action, leaving Zoran and Otis shouting futilely behind her. His eyes darkened and a blade came into his hands- a dark dagger- and before she could properly register how ineffective it would be against a rapier, the man moved and slipped underneath her defenses and slammed the dagger, hilt-deep into her stomach and twisted. ”Thank you.”

Here we have Ashley's intro into the scene which already sets him up as unsettling- he stumbles in, sees the carnage, acts like a bumbling idiot, all to see what Tyffial will do and the moment she attacks him, he goes in for the kill, thanking her for giving him a reason to attack here. This is where the contradictions come in! We learn immediately that for all that Ashley is a brutal servant of the Chained Oblivion, he has a code. He won't attack unless he's attacked first.

Tyffial gurgled and slipped to the floor on top of her pile of corpses. The man standing before her flipped the dagger and threw it at Zoran- landing just to the left of his heart in a critical blow that dropped him to his knees. The dagger yanked back into his hands and he lunged at Otis, drawing a streaming red line from ear to ear across their throat like a smile, leaving them choking and bleeding out on the stones.

No, no, no… Tyffial gripped her stomach with one hand and started to crawl towards Otis. She had potions in her bag. She could bring them back up. She could fix this.

I can’t be alone again.

Zoran recovered and lunged, flaming maul aiming to make short work of this stranger, but he sidestepped into the shadows and reappeared elsewhere. Zoran tried to aim again, but the maul passed through nothing but an illusion. He had time to bark a confused huh before the man reappeared and stabbed him in the back with the same brutal efficiency he had shown on everyone else.

“See. Here’s the thing. I don’t like to fight people who don’t attack first. It’s a code of honor thing. I’m a paladin.” He yanked the blade free and left Zoran to fall back to his knees and stay down this time. “I’m a really, really nasty paladin, but there’s still a code I follow. Evil has standards sometimes, right?” He gave his dagger another flip and threw it right into Tyffial’s hand, piercing through bone and preventing her from crawling any closer to Otis. She bit back a scream.

“That’s gonna leave a mark by the by.” He recalled the dagger into his hand and moved to Tyffial, crouching in front of her and blocking her view of Otis.

Furthering the contradictions- Ashley is extremely affable, even as he's actively attacking. This is also where body language comes into play. Ashley plays with his food in combat due to the illusory nature of his paladin/weapon abilities. He does spend a lot of this conversation crouching, turning a dangerous conversation into a more conversational one by virtue of making it a chat.

Knowing not what else to do, she spat in his face and snapped through pained tears, “What do you want?”

The man dragged a hand down his face and flicked the bloody spittle off his fingers. “Okaaay. Way to start a negotiation. Noted. Hi. I’m Ashley. Nice to meet you.” He grabbed her by the hair and threw her back against the bodies and, all the while, his casual tone never changed, which made it all the more haunting. “And since we’re friends now… I have to tell you that I lied before. Those guys weren’t my friends. I pretended to be a helpless rich boy who needed a guide and threw money at them until they decided to let me play too. Guess which part of that I lied about.” He smiled wickedly and held the bloody dagger up to her face- this close she could see it was a jagged, ugly thing with an endless maze pattern carved into it. It made her dizzy to stare at it.

This is a mild example of subverting expectations- Ashley doesn't get angry that Tyffial spits at him. (In an ideal world (and will likely be fixed in future edits of the series) I would not have off-loaded the effect of the scene by pointing out that Tyffial finds his contradictions haunting. So, like, this is a learning experience for me too. Don't lampshade that. Let your audience find it haunting without the POV character telling them that it is.) Anyway, Ashley's reaction- tossing her aside into the bodies- is just a show of his strength. He doesn't backhand her like a typical arrogant male villain would do for the disrespect. He simply brushes it off and then continues his speech by pushing Tyffial's face in the mess she made of the people he had with him and what a huge depth between their power and his is.

Every breath was agony. Tyffial frantically checked on Otis and Zoran- still alive, but barely. She needed to get to them.

Ashley looked over his shoulder to follow her gaze and dragged a hand down his clean-shaven chin. “Right. You asked me a question. What do I want… Hm. What… do I want?”

He screwed up his face, considering. “World peace? Good will towards all persons? The total annihilation of literally everything in this fucking world?”

He laughed, as cold and brutal as his tone of voice wasn’t. “Weirdly the, uh, that one doesn’t contradict the first two things, but you’d know all about that, wouldn’t you? You get it. You get that ever since the Calamity, things have been barreling towards the exact same scenario, ‘cept there’s no gods this time to punish the folly of man, is there? They locked all those doors up really tight after the last guy yanked the deadbolt out. So it just continues and continues on and on and on. Someone’s gotta put the kibosh in it. ‘Cause we can’t do this again. The next time mortals aim so fucking high there’s not gonna be a hand to slap us down and eventually we’ll push too far and it’s gonna be worse than if the gods had just put us in cosmic time-out with an apocalypse in our backyard.”

He stopped just shy of building to an angry rant, breathed in, and then spoke softly again. “I don’t want that. I won’t be alive then, but if I was, I’d definitely hate to see what happens when hubris runs unchecked.”

Here we have Ashley messing with syntax! He gets distracted, he rambles, he alternates between deep eloquence and slang. He speaks casually, but formally, due to a combination of his noble background and general disregard for how he's perceived. I think on top of comparing him to Brennan, who his entire syntax is based on, he has the vibe of a Christoph Waltz character who plays some REALLY iconic villains by simply using natural charm, casual syntax, and extremely sharp lines delivered in the middle of otherwise innocuous rambles. It's also kind of a Tarantino staple and I've made ZERO secret how much of my writing is inspired by him. He's also based on Harry Lime from The Third Man, which is where a lot of his belief system comes on, who ALSO delivers monologues in this specific way.

Ashley mentioning that world peace and general good will being the same as annihilation ALSO subverts audience expectations, because it's NOT sarcastic. This is the crux of what he believes, which brings us into the next bit.

He leaned closer to her, almost nose to nose. “See, deep down, we both want the same things. We don’t want this world to exist anymore. You just want a better one and I want nothing because there’s no such thing as better.”

The anger returned and this time he let it run unchecked. “Better is a lie that mommies and daddies tell their children so they grow up to keep rearranging deck chairs on a sinking ship. Better is a subjective term that nobody will ever agree to. The only thing that is better than what you have right now is nothing.” He spread his hands, eyes closing in a sudden serenity that came on the heels of the anger and somehow merged with it. “Absolute. Perfect. Nothingness. No pain. No suffering. No sense of self. And isn’t that exactly what you want- No, don’t answer. That was rhetorical.”

Jayne believes in destruction for destruction's sake. Ashley believes it serves a purpose and here he uses this to throw Tyffial's beliefs against her and mirror her, pointing out that Lucien's plan to bring everything a equilibrium is pointless because better is subjective and generally a lie because one person's better is another person's eternal damnation. Without actually saying it in direct words, he's effectively deriding Lucien's plan that Tyffial still believes strongly in is just another lie and that what she really wants is for her pain to stop.

This is also where we get quiet confidence mixed with loud assertion, which is Brennan Lee Mulligan's STAPLE CROP in monologues. Ashley gets loud when he's genuinely angry, so this marks the first time we see what makes him angry. We know at this point and it's one of the few things we know that he hates his father, who famously was part of a cult that wanted to cause destruction and suffering in the name of betrayer gods and their ilk not because of belief in their tenets, but because they were rich assholes who wanted an excuse built in for why they chose to be cruel assholes. This spits in the face of Ashley's belief system which is that destruction MUST occur for new growth. This is also what sets apart from Jayne, who believes in destruction for destruction’s sake.

(As a sidebar, a lot of Ashley’s design went into me really putting the work in to figure out what would make a lawful follower of a chaotic deity. Believing in the natural cycle of death and rebirth felt like a good way to honor paladin creeds even with Ashley being a Treachery Paladin that are just modified Blackguards, but are still required to take Oaths, unlike Oathbreakers.)

He placed his palms together. “And I promise I’m getting to the point. The point… The point is that I need everything to go a certain way and you are very, very much not hip to my vibe right now. So I’m gonna need you to step off, go back to your little hovel in whatever shithole you crawled out of, and not try to murder these people anymore. Mmkay? ‘Cause if you don’t, then the halfling’s gonna bleed out.” He pointed behind him at Otis, glassy-eyed and taking shallow breaths as their slit throat leaked blood onto the stones. “And then I’m gonna start peeling the skin off the goliath and when I’m done with that, I’m gonna break both your legs and leave you here with the bodies just to see what you end up doing. Trust me, I have theories and it’s a hell of a thing to watch when you’re bored between acts of devotion for the uncaring toothy void I call a god.”

Once again, we see Ashley playing with syntax. This is also where we get our first glimpse of Ashley’s certain threats. We know Ashley is good on his word- he’s already caused the Tombtakers considerable harm without them ever getting a hit on him. And while he has certainly explained the WHY he wants to do what he does, he has left everything ambiguous, including his god. Maybe a good history check would narrow it down, given he did flash his dagger, which is specifically the Blade of Broken Mirrors, the arm of Tharizdun’s chosen, but ultimately he’s vagueing it up. He said a lot of shit, but all he really said was “I want the world to burn and I want you to let this go.” We don’t know Ashley’s plan, only that it involves the Somnovem and requires the Nein to survive. So he hasn’t paused everything to reveal his evil plan. He’s just made it plain that the Tpmbtakers are interfering and given them a clear option. He could kill them and he probably should, but he has his reasons for letting them live to tell the tale should Tyffial choose “correctly.”

Ashley grabbed her by the collar to pull her up, putting pressure on her wounded stomach. His tone was unnervingly even now. “I’ve got big plans and I’m a rich male human, so I’m really used to things going my way. You don’t wanna see me when things aren’t. This is me being polite, honestly. And you wanna know why I’m being polite? Because I know you’re not gonna let your friend bleed out. I know you’re gonna do everything I ask. And how do I know that? Because deep down, you want the darkness too. It doesn’t matter who brings it so long as it swallows you whole.”

He released her and she fell back again with a half-choked cry of pain. She folded her arms over her wet and tacky leathers like she might hold more of her own blood inside her that way.

“So what’s it gonna be? Tick tock.”

Tyffial didn’t waste any time. “Otis. Fuck you. Fuck you.” “Are you telling Otis that or are you talking to me?” He waved his hand around his ear. “Not really clear.”

“Save Otis,” she gasped, desperately, and hated herself all the more for it.

“Oh that’s a good choice. Lovely work.” He clapped his hands together, stood, marched over to Otis and laid his hands upon the wound he’d left. The skin knit together leaving a pale scar like a smile across their neck. Ashley took one look at his work, threw a smile over his shoulder at Tyffial and vanished.

And scene! For Ashley, anyway. Here we see him using personal knowledge against Tyffial- he knows enough to know that she’s broken, desperate to keep hold of the friends she has, and won’t choose a horrific, slow death in favor of her pride. He doesn’t pull the “you should join me” card because he knows she’d never do it, but he plays on her exhaustion by saying that to get what she wants, all she has to do is step aside for a moment. It’s cruel, callous, and does everything it’s supposed to- set Ashley up as a villain and show how absolutely fucked up Tyffial is by everything that is happening, providing a bait and switch that shows she and the Tombtakers WON’T be villains in the next story and that Ashley is absolutely too strong for the Nein to deal with and that they’re in over their heads even with their human enemies.

And that’s the monologue break-down! Hopefully it helps some people with writing villains and if it doesn’t… well, here’s my thought process for one of my favorite scenes in all of LitMoR.

[strawbrygashez]

ALL THE TIMES DUDE HAS BEEN SUGGESTED/ALLUDED TO NOT BE STRAIGHT!!!!!!!! Feel free to add or correct me if I get something wrong!

First I will start off with things RWS has said themselves and the most obvious example of Dude basically being confirmed to be NOT STRAIGHT. This is from the official Running with scissors Twitter!

And here is a post from the RWS tumblr where they reblogged a post and added this comment

Just in general if RWS or Destructive Creations comments under Nottemdude fanart it’s always more than likely them being positive about it. The RWS tumblr hasn’t been active in 7 years so it’s not just a ‘new’ thing also. I would post more pics of these times but there is a image limit to posts so unless someone wants me to show specific examples….😐 But anyways, they have alluded to adding Nottem to Postal under a piece of nottemdude fanart before if I’m remembering correctly. They also support Dude being shipped with Duke Nukem as well, having retweeted ship art of Duke/Nottem/Dude. Also there is fanart of Nottemdude and just other works where he’s seen being 🏳️‍🌈 or just wearing all kinds of different pride flags on their offical website on the fanart page. And if you take all of this as them being cool about it (fanart and ships) and not minding it and being a ‘good sport about it’ then okay. Sure. But to say that RWS doesn’t encourage or support it would be veryyyy odd.

Before I get into my list of a couple moments Dude is alluded to being bi, I wanna add that If you wanna get technical, the Postal Dude according to RWS can be ‘anything you want him to be’ so while he might not have a totally confirmed sexuality yet or hasn’t been seen being with a man, he is more than likely never gonna be confirmed as straight and if you headcanon Dude being anything other than bi then that’s fine but the baseline seems to be that he’s into both men and woman.

Anyways, here is some moments that come to mind for me.

————————————————————————•In postal 2, You are able to let him kiss another man at the kissing booth on Valentine’s Day

•Most of Dudes dialogue to the other Dude in Brain damage has a flirty tone to it. Dearie & handsome are words Dude uses to refer to the other him. (Which sure, you could say he’s just flirting with himself but be fr for a moment. You wouldn’t be like 🤨 if you heard a man irl calling a clone of himself ‘dearie’?? And the tone Dude uses to tell him not to go and to come back???)

•In postal 4, one of the first things you do is write a sign in hopes to find work. No matter what you choose to write Dude adds something along the lines about being willing to ‘do dirty work’ with men. HE SAYS TO MALE NPCS THAT THEY CAN TAKE HIM BACK TO THEIR PLACE!!! How much more obvious-

•His whole thing with the drag outfit in postal 4. He really didn’t have to wear that if he didn’t want to or really felt uncomfortable with it. Wearing drag doesn’t make someone a certain sexuality but I just wanted to add this part because some people still view Dude as this manly man or this guy who sticks to only stereotypically masculine things?? When he wears drag, makeup & high heels.

•In postal brain damaged, there is a place in his mind specially for Doomguy. And not just in a “ohhh hes so cool and manly 🤩” way..there is full on pictures of his bare ass in Dudes brain. Why would a straight man have a secret part in his brain saved for another man’s ass????

•In BD again, there is a scene where in Dudes dream, buff men are standing behind him set up in a meme reference, suggesting that Dude is about to have sex with them all. Here is the pic 🫡

(And would you look at that. He’s smiling!)

•Lots of d*ldo jokes in postal 4 and BD. A used one is seen on his floor in the opening cutscene for BD. (Again you can just say it’s for the laughs besides the used one but why would a straight man own that many?)

•Dude says “it’s like taking it up the bum” in BD…how would u know how that feels like sir? 🤨

•In postal 2, Postal 3 Dude uses a certain kinda…tone and way of taking sometimes with p2. For example the “Short tempered today, are we?” line. Im sorry but that is such a oddly flirty teasing way of talking to another man. Also p3 Dude felt the need to remind p2 that he wore ‘skin tight leather’ and maybe it would rejog his memory wearing it again.

•In postal 4, dude has a line saying something about how no one has it harder than a “white cis man”. What’s interesting to me is that he didn’t throw in that he’s straight too. You’d think he would do to the nature of that sentence.

•Postal 3 dude is oddly insecure about his masculinity and or is not confident in his sexuality. He’s worried about being seen as gay just for riding some kinda scooter and hopes none of his friends sees him like that. I dunno to me I feel like people perceive Dude as a ‘no fucks given’ kinda guy but he’s whining and complaining about riding some scooter.

[intertexts]

you know what really fucks me up. hi hello it's me again. listening to the ep again in very short bursts while I'm behind the scenes doing maintenance. right after william hits tide w the needle and david asks him if he wants to help w the . dissection. one of the things he says is "i want you to see what I'm doing here, the good I'm doing. I just don't want you to go back and tell mom and dad I'm hurting people like im some kind of monster" and that just. hit me life a fucking truck. it's like when you're playing w your sibling and they start crying and you instantly snap into placating them like "shhhh shhh stop or mom's gonna hear you" it's such an. immature thing to say in this moment and it really drives home like. yeah. these two are brothers they grew up together. even if we didn't see any of that and they barely talk to each other now. one time they were kids . ughghghghghghghghghhhhh.

it's so fucked up dude... what i'm still held up on is like-- are they like, whats the fucking word. full brothers or is it a stepsibling or half sibling thing-- did their parents remarry? how old were they both? how many years older is david? did none of that happen and david just. took what i assume is his mom's maiden name? what is the wisp family situation like i Neeeed to know neowww it is IMPORTANT....

but. YEAH. it anchors the whole situation so efficiently-- this isn't some random dude. this is his brother!! he probably remembers when he moved out for the first time. he probably has, like, a sweatshirt from his university. he's seen him leaning against the kitchen sink in their parents house eating cereal and now they're in a nightmare corporate basement and he's watching him vivisect someone. i didn't bring it up when i heard it but the fucking... "i thought you were the first thing to come out of deadwood that wasn't sick." line hit like a truck... completely unsurprisingly i, roswell intertexts, have. so many thoughts on fucked up sibling relationships all the time. some might call it my expertise! but that whole-- i thought YOU were the good one and the successful one and the normal one who made it out, and i could never live up to that because i'm one of the sick fucked up things that crawled out of deadwood. and. you're not!! its like the stairs disappeared beneath your feet!! it's a betrayal on his part too!! the way he subconsciously trusted david immediately re: the syringe and shit even though he kept saying he didn't. it's just... i don't even know if i can articulate it very well right now but it's such a surreal situation. that feeling of awkwardly having to be around your estranged older sibling... yeah you SAY you don't like them and don't give a shit but. he fucking does. he obviously does.

and it's so wretched. to me also like, david saying that also is SO fucking manipulative. this isn't you telling on dad that you're watching tv with sex in it or you have fireball under ur bed this is human rights violations!!!! this is horrific!!! he's saying "ohhh don't tell mom and dad i'm a monster or smething :eyeroll:" with his hands in someone's gaping chest cavity and a scalpel pressed to his artery. it's so jarring and it's so fucking good....

[shellxrls]

It doesn’t happen often I’ll say that — he’s generally got this really calm demeanour, he doesn’t freak out a lot. but sometimes he just goes crazy, like in the show when he kept hitting topper even after he’d passed out, that type of crazy.

he’s very careful not to be rageful with me — like he won’t get incessantly angry at me, but he’ll be angry with me… idk if that makes sense. but when he’s like that he’ll literally just use me, cause he needs something to take his frustration out on.

he’s normally pretty attentive in bed, giving praise and going pretty slow cause he knows he’s big, but when he’s mad he just doesn’t. he doesn’t do degradation, he literally just fucks.

the only sounds coming from him at these times r little punched out groans like mh mh mh and it sounds so sexy

but yeah that’s where he won’t give a break. need to piss? do it on his cock. gonna puke? too bad, do it on his cock. wanna cum? wait your turn, then do it on his cock.

and PAINAL <333 well not really it hurts like shit but 😍😍😍💞💞💘💘💖 he literally flips me over with no warning and just pushes straight in. normally he’ll cover my mouth with the bandana cause I tend to practically scream and the last thing he needs is the next house down calling the cops.

and he puts me in a headlock while he literally destroys me from behind. chokes me in a mating press. mhhh

and CUM EATING <333 lots and lots of cum, IN the mouth.

this is mostly sexual stuff cause honestly that’s mostly all he thinks about (at least with me) when he’s worked up 😭 like you’ve said he truly just does think with his dick sometimes.

- rafe shifter

HELP IM SORRY APPARENTLY THIS HAS BEEN IN MY DRAFTS FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS. ok anyways:

ohhh that scene where he kept hitting topper had me SOAKED. he knocked him tf out w one punch and it truly left me wondering just how strong jb truly is..

i get what u mean as well, it’s more about disciplining u rather than getting into an argument or directing his anger at you.

these descriptions are getting to my head I NEED HIM SAURRR BAD !!

also pls i laughed at all the emojis on painal 😭😭😭.

‘but yeah that’s where he won’t give a break. need to piss? do it on his cock. gonna puke? too bad, do it on his cock. wanna cum? wait your turn, then do it on his cock.’ this is sooo dizzying btw i need him so bad.