#ohh my god i did not mean to write this much lmao

[crypticreid]

KINKTOBER DAY FOUR

October 13 -- Virginity

masterlist

author's note: happy friday the 13th!! this is a behemoth, but it feels right to celebrate this day with a little bit of fireworks lol!! thank you to everyone who voted in the poll, I might do more of those throughout the month. thank you for reading and let me know if you want to be tagged! (also, because this took me so long, it isn't as tightly edited as my other work)

summary: To be completely honest, you're struggling a little bit with you new job at the BAU. Spencer is there to help. Oh, and maybe he can help you with a few other things too.

warnings: female reader, losing virginity, fingering, oral (female receiving), grinding, discussion about masturbation and mention of sex toys

word count: 6.9k (sorry? lol)

this is adut content. 18+ plus only. minors do not interact!

Morgan smiles up at you from his desk as you scramble into the bullpen. Garcia is leaning against his desk as she raises her eyebrows. You toss your go bag under your own desk and push your hair out of your face, trying to ignore the pair. 

“Rough night?” Morgan giggles, as he pushes the pencil he’s holding through his circled fingers suggestively. Garcia guffaws, but at least has the decency to playfully hit Morgan on the shoulder. 

“Can you two behave for like five minutes?” You groan and try to find your ID badge. You literally just had it to get into the BAU department, but now it has mysteriously disappeared. It isn’t on your desk or in any of your pockets, but you do find a couple crumpled up dollar bills that you toss onto your desk without thinking. 

The appearance of the bills causes Morgan to whistle. Emily walks over and sees the offending currency. “Damn, invite me next time!” She laughs. 

You roll your eyes and don’t reply. Instead, you pull up your go bag and start to empty it. Maybe you accidentally put your badge in one of the pockets, you rationalize.

“What is going on?” JJ asks with a small laugh, gesturing to the contents of your go bag now completely strewn across the desk. Clothing and toiletries clutter the surface and you know you look like a crazy person. And maybe you are crazy. No, you definitely are crazy. Anyone who does this job is absolutely batshit crazy. 

Tears sting your eyes, but you blink them away. You are absolutely not going to have a mental breakdown at eight in the morning in the bullpen, and definitely not in front of fucking Derek Morgan. “I can’t find my badge.” You mutter and drop down to your knees to look under your chair and desk. 

You palm the dirty floor, but don’t find anything. Your friends stifle their laughter. “I would help you but this is not a crawl around on the floor kind of dress.” Penelope offers. 

“Gee, thanks.” You say to yourself. 

“Hey, has anyone seen –” Spencer stops in both his tracks and his sentence when he notices you on the floor. He swallows. “I found your ID badge. Over by the door. I think you dropped it.” 

“Wonder boy saves the day!” Morgan exclaims. 

Spencer finishes his trek over to you and offers a hand to help you up. You glance up at him, blushing slightly at the angle. Who would’ve thought you’d be on your knees in front of Dr. Reid? Okay, you’ve definitely thought about it, but your imagination didn’t normally make it happen inside Quantico and it absolutely never in front of your coworkers. 

“Sorry, my hands are kind of dirty. Uh, from the floor.” You confess and take his hand as you stand up. His hand is warm and soft, like really soft. Like you could easily fall asleep to him rubbing your back in mindless patterns. As soon as you’re on your feet you slip your hand out of his to avoid your mind adding more ammunition to your middle of the night imaginations about Spencer. 

“It’s okay.” 

“Thanks. For the badge… and –” you take the badge from his other hand and gesture meaninglessly between the two of you. 

“You’re welcome.” He smiles at you and you feel yourself redden deeper. 

“Alright, alright! Time for kiss and tell!” Penelope exclaims and you blink away from your eye contact with Reid. 

“What?” You whip your head around to her. 

Emily makes kissing noises and musses her hair. “You. And some mystery person. Last night. Clearly.” 

You turn toward her. “No. I wasn’t…” you start, your eyes flick over to Spencer as he walks toward his desk. “There’s no one.” 

JJ leans on your desk and raises her brows. “Then what were you doing last night?” 

You could not tell them the truth, but it was also impossible to lie to the best profilers in the country, so you give them a half truth. “Nothing. I just had a bad night.” You shrug and start to put your clothing back in your go bag, not bothering to fold it. 

The truth is that it had been a bad night because you were struggling with the job. You’d been hired ten months ago and the lack of sleep, the neverending cases, and having to constantly deal with the horrific things humans can do to one another was taking its toll on you. Yesterday had been a day off and you wanted to use it to catch up on sleep, but everytime you closed your eyes, the faces of the people you couldn’t save filtered in. You hadn’t been able to get a good night’s sleep since you started and it had caused a complete breakdown last night. You had pulled up Hotch’s contact information four times ready to quit, but you knew you couldn’t do it. You were here for a reason, you’d stick it out.  

Penelope hums. “Well, if it wasn’t a person… then it must’ve been alcohol.” 

“Or gambling.” Emily adds. 

You roll your eyes. “I don’t gamble.” 

“You should. It’s a lot of fun. I’ll play you in Blackjack.” Emily smiles. 

“Don’t play with her, she counts cards.” Reid murmurs absentmindedly as he reads over a file at his desk. 

“I do not!” 

Everyone laughs, but then the laughter dies away when Hotch comes out of his office. “Looks like no one gets to have fun for a couple of days.” Emily groans. 

On the flight home after the case, you’re seated across from Spencer. Everyone else is asleep or has headphones in, even Hotch is passed out on the couch, which is rare. You still can’t sleep, so you stare out the window into the darkness as you fly over Virgina. Spencer clears his throat and you roll your head to look at him. 

“Are you okay?” He asks. 

You allow a small smile to form on your lips. “Yeah, I’m fine.” 

He swallows and puts the book in his hand down in his lap as he leans forward slightly. “I know we don’t know each other that well yet, but you don’t really seem like yourself lately. Are you sure you’re okay?” 

The sore achy feeling of wanting to cry but holding it in burns your throat. You cough softly.  “I’m okay, really. Just – having trouble sleeping.” You give just a little bit of information, hoping it assuages his curiosity. 

“Is it that mystery person keeping you up at night?” He asks point-blankly. 

Your mouth is agape and you snap it shut, “did you just make a joke?” 

“I tried to.” He smiles and you match his smile with your own. 

“There really isn’t anyone.” You shake your head. “I’ve never –” you almost let the rest of the sentence slip out, but stop yourself just in time. The lack of sleep is obviously affecting you more than you thought. 

“You’ve never what?” The way he moves his body forward in his seat makes your heart thrum in your chest. His body language is clear, even a rookie behavioral analyst could tell, he was prepared to listen to what you have to say. Not only that, but he actually cared. 

You bite the inside of your cheek before letting out a sigh. Before you answer, you lean closer toward him, “I’ve never had sex, actually.” 

His eyes widen and he clears his throat, “you’re a –” 

“Virgin,” you finish for him. “I’m not ashamed or embarrassed by it. And it isn’t like I’m saving it or anything. It just hasn’t happened yet.” You shrug. “In all honesty, part of me just wants to pick some random person and get it over with.” You let out a small breathy laugh in an attempt to make you feel less awkward. 

“Why haven’t you?” You meet his eyes. “I mean, just found a random person to get it over with?” 

One of your shoulders lifts in a half-hearted shrug. “I don’t know. Like when I think about it, I realize that I’d rather have someone I trust, you know. Someone who would take care of me and not just see me as another notch on their bedpost. At least for the first time. And then after that, I’d feel more comfortable just going out and… you know.” 

“Notching up some bed posts.” He nods knowingly and you giggle. He smiles, you notice that he enjoys making you laugh. A lot of the time it seems like people are maybe laughing at him or about him, but not you. He’s never the butt of the joke for you. 

“Sure, Spencer.” You can’t help, but trail your eyes over him and contemplate the question that’s on the tip of your tongue. “How did you lose your virginity?” 

He doesn’t seem offended or shocked by your question. “In college.” 

You scoff, “weren’t you like twelve?” 

“During my undergrad, yes. But I have multiple PhDs.” 

“Of course, Doctor Reid.” 

He shifts in his seat. “I was twenty. She was, uh, we worked in the same lab. And had the same research advisor.” 

“So you two experimented on each other.” You joked. 

Spencer’s face flushed and you felt a pang deep in your stomach. “In a way, yes.” 

“I’m joking, Spencer.” He nods in understanding. “Were you like her boyfriend?” 

“No, we just –” 

“Hooked up.” You finish for him. 

“For a couple months, yeah.” 

Your mouth drops and you whisper, “you had a fuck buddy?” 

His blush deepens. “I don’t think we ever called each other that.” 

“What did you call her?” 

“I don’t know. We never talked about it. I finished my doctoral thesis before her.” He shrugs. 

“Wow, who knew.” 

“What?” 

“Morgan isn’t the only playa on the team.” You giggle and scrunch your nose, feeling the stress of the last few weeks dissipate from your shoulders. 

“I’m not…” he laughs and shakes his head. He glances out the window. “We’re landing soon.” He swallows and leans back in his seat. It was terrible, but you had a strong urge to step across to his seat and straddle his lap and kiss him until you were both breathless. You turn your gaze back to the window and try to force the image away. 

Your car wouldn’t start. You forcefully turned the key in the ignition again, and it sputtered and died. As you hit your steering wheel, you let out a frustrated noise and hit it again. You turn to grab your cell phone from your bag to call a tow truck and jump when you hear a knock on your driver’s side window. Spencer stands there apologetically, waving his hand with his closed mouth smile. 

He steps aside when you open the car door and get out. “Is everything okay?” 

“No.” You laugh bitterly. “My car won’t start and I need to get a tow.” You bite your lip, but can’t stop the tears that bubble over. 

Spencer freezes, but then reaches out and touches your shoulder lightly. “It’s okay.” For some reason his comfort makes you cry harder. “Oh, uh, here,” he mutters and pulls you into a full hug. He squeezes you tight against him and rubs your back as you cry into his chest. 

“I’m sorry, Spencer.” You blubber into his shirt. 

“No, it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.” 

“Is it?” You pull away from his chest to look in his eyes. “I’m failing at this job and –” 

“Woah, failing at this job?” He interrupts. “Who said that?” His brows furrow angrily. 

“No one.” You blink away the tears stuck in your eyelashes and Spencer reaches up and swipes away one that trails down your cheek. 

“You’re not failing. You’re excelling. You’re incredible. Truly, I mean that. I wouldn’t lie to you. I promise.” He swallows and you realize how close to his face you are, his hands wrapped around your back. 

You don’t stop yourself, even though you know you should, as you lean into him. His eyes flutter down to your lips, but he doesn’t pull away, so you keep going. Your lips touch his lightly, barely there before you back away. 

His hands tighten on you and pull you closer to him. He chases your lips with his and kisses you back, your own hands are on his chest and they twist into his shirt. You kiss him fervently, his hands traveling to your lower back, arching you into him. A moan escapes from the back of your throat and it breaks the spell. Spencer pulls away from the kiss. 

His lips are pink and shimmery and you want to kiss him again. Desperately. “I’m sorry.” He murmurs, his tongue slipping out and swiping across his bottom lip. 

“What for?” You blink. 

“Kissing you.” 

“I kissed you.” 

“I kissed you back.” 

“And you should do it again.” 

His eyes dart to your lips. He wants to, you can tell, but he stops himself. “We shouldn’t.” 

“Not here, at least.” You glance behind him and pray that the parking garage is completely empty. If your coworkers acted the way they did this morning about a nonexistent mystery person, you can only imagine their reactions if they saw you making out with Spencer. 

“It’s inappropriate.” 

“I don’t care.” 

“There’s paperwork.” 

“Not if we don’t tell anyone.” 

“That’s not how that works.” He laughs, you can feel the vibrations of the sound against his chest. 

“Do you always play by the rules, Dr. Reid?” 

He swallows harshly, you watch the movement of his Adam’s apple bob against the tight skin of his neck. “I’ll drive you home.” He deflects. 

You reach up on your toes and kiss him again. His hands spread on your back and press you against him and your hands pull him tighter to you, wrinkling his shirt. You hear footsteps and both of you step away from each other instantly, putting distance between your bodies. You turn your head to see a person you don’t recognize come into view from the other side of the parking garage. They don’t even glance in your direction. The hammering in your chest slows and you turn back to Spencer. He runs a hand through his hair. 

“Grab your bag.” He says with an authority that makes you spring into action quickly. Neither of you say anything as you follow him down the rows of agents’ cars to his car. He opens the passenger side for you, the vintage car creaks in protest. He closes the door and you watch from the rearview mirror as he walks around the back of the car toward the driver’s side, his hands in his pocket. 

He slides into the car seat and starts the car, it rumbles to life loudly. “I normally don’t even drive to work, just take public transportation. But I had an errand the other day.” He explains absentmindedly as he checks the rearview mirror and slowly backs out of the park spot. 

“It’s kismet.” 

“I always thought it was interesting that the English pilfered that word from the Turkish language. Considering words like fate and destiny already existed. Some etymologists attribute it to the rampant orientalism at the time. You know, like kismet was more mysterious or mystical or exciting than just simple fate.” He rambles and drives you out of the parking garage. A heady want begins to grow in your lower stomach. “And of course, the Turkish developed the word from an Arabic word meaning portion or lot. Which is fascinating.” 

“It is.” You say earnestly. 

He glances over at you sheepishly. “Sorry, I don’t mean to ramble.” 

“Don’t apologize. I like it.” 

His eyes are already back on the road, but you can see his cheeks redden in a slight blush. “Where do you live?” He asks and you tell him. It isn’t a long drive, well it isn’t this late at night. Your morning commute is a nightmare. He gives you a brief look, “why did you join the BAU?” 

You exhale a long breath before you answer. “I wanted to help people I guess. Which is so cliche, but it’s the truth. Like it isn’t even about putting bad guys away or whatever. I just want to make the world safer. For everyone.” You look over at him and he meets your gaze for a split second. 

“You are doing a good job.” He states. You shake your head. “I mean it. You are. You’re making a difference. You’re helping people.” 

“But how do you keep your head above water? I mean… how do you not let it beat you down?” 

“We have each other. And you focus on the good.” 

You sit in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, letting his words sink in. “Thanks, Spencer. For everything today.” 

He pulls into a parking spot in front of your apartment building. “I’ll walk you up.” 

You go to unbuckle your seatbelt, but it doesn’t budge. You try again, but again, nothing. 

“Oh, sometimes it sticks. Here,” he leans across the middle and reaches for your seatbelt buckle. His fingers graze the outside of your thigh and inhale sharply, electricity buzzing from the simplest of touches. He unbuckles you and you let the seat belt slide across your body, he doesn’t move away from you. He’s close enough that you can feel his breath on your skin, it enflames you. 

“Spencer,” you whisper and turn your head toward him. His eyes slowly trail down your face toward your lips and then back up to your eyes. You can’t take it, so you lean forward and kiss him again. Tentative at first, waiting for him to respond. He does, his hands pulling your face closer to his, deepening the kiss. When you feel his tongue swipe across your bottom lip you open for him, let him explore and learn. You sigh into his mouth, your hands find their way to the back of his neck. 

He slips away from you, breathless, but starts to kiss down your jaw. He mutters your name against your skin. You feel the warmth of his kisses travel down your spine toward your core. 

“Come upstairs.” You sigh, when he bites lightly on a sensitive spot on your neck. 

“I can’t. I shouldn’t.” He pants against your skin. 

“I want you.” 

He groans, deep and frustrated, and moves to lean his forehead against yours, both of your heavy breathing intermingling and becoming one. “You shouldn’t want me.” 

“Why not? And don’t say the bullshit about us working together. I don’t care, Spencer. I trust you. I want you.” 

He backs his head away from your forehead so that he can look into your eyes, his thumb against your cheek brushes back and forth. “You trust me?” 

“With everything in me.” He kisses you again, softly, tenderly. 

“I’ll take care of you.” 

“I know.” You kiss him back and then pull away. He nods and you return it with a nod of your own. 

His tongue glides across his lip and he swallows. You blink and he’s moving out of his seat and already at the passenger side door before you can reach for the handle. He opens it quickly and helps you out. It’s old school, but it makes your heart stutter and start. When he takes your hand in his, it feels like two magnets being drawn together. He slams the car door shut and you lead him up to your apartment. 

Once you unlock your front door and guide him in, you shut the door and turn to look at him. You flick on the light. He stares at you and asks, “you’re sure?” 

“Positive.” You step toward him and reach out to slide your hands across his stomach and then land on his waist. “Do I have to kiss you first again, or –” you don’t have to finish your question before his lips are on yours. His kisses are not tentative or searching, they’re needy and impassioned. Before long, you’re clawing at his shirt, untucking it from his pants and then reaching up to undo his tie. 

He stops you as he breathes laboriously. “Wait, we should slow down.” 

You continue to work on his tie, perpetually crooked, but now just an obstacle to what you need desperately.  “I don’t wanna go slow.” 

He moans and you finally get his tie undone and whip it off. “No, we should.” 

Your fingers work deftly against his buttons, one at a time, and you look up at him. “I’m a virgin, but I’m not inexperienced. I’m not a delicate flower.” 

His expression changes, his eyes grow heavy and he quirks his jaw. “Not inexperienced?” 

“I’m not.” You almost sound like a petulant teenager. 

“How far?” 

“What?” 

“How far have you gotten?” Your hands stop almost halfway through the third to last button. You don’t answer. His voice deepens, gravely and sexy, “you’ve clearly kissed before.” You nod. “Have you had someone feel your breasts?” As he asks the question, his hand reaches up and caresses your breast. You lean into the touch. “Has anyone put their mouth on your breasts, marking you as theirs? Rolling your nipple between their teeth?” He inclines his head into the crook of your neck and presses a hot kiss there. “Have you ever had somebody's mouth on your clit?” 

Your breathing is sharp and jagged, but Spencer simply continues. “Would you let someone use their tongue to make you come? Or maybe even their fingers? Pump their fingers into until you're squirming?” 

“Spencer,” you plead. 

He continues to massage your breast as his other hand slips under your shirt and trails across your hips and stomach. “Or do you just mean that you’ve touched yourself? You’ve laid in bed and explored this beautiful body. Know just exactly how to make yourself shiver from your own fingers.” 

You’re almost overwhelmed by his touch, his lips on your skin, and his words, your head is spinning, but you’re also desperate for more. 

“We’re going to take it slow.” He informs you and it isn’t up for discussion. “Not because I think you’re a delicate flower.” He throws your own words back at you. “But because I want to take my time with you. I want to learn everything about your body. I want to touch every single inch of you with my hands. I want to make you come, I want to feel you come. Over and over again.” You’re practically shaking in his hands when his lips and teeth scrap across your jaw and to your lips. He takes them with his and you’re like clay on a potter’s wheel, malleable and completely at his will, waiting to be crafted into his masterpiece. 

“Do you want that?” He breathes on your lips. 

You somehow know instinctively that he wants a verbal confirmation, so you answer, “yes.” 

He continues to kiss you, deeply, almost like a starved man tasting his first bit of sustenance. You answer with your own fervency. His hand at your hip squeezes and pulls you tight against him and you feel his want against you. It makes you moan. You grind your body against him and his grip tights even more. 

“Bedroom. Where’s your bedroom?” He stutters, but doesn’t stop kissing you and you don’t stop either. Your hands are in his hair, pulling and twisting, holding him impossibly close to you. You didn’t know kissing could make you feel this way, simultaneously feverish and desperate, but also insatiable. You felt like you could kiss Spencer for a lifetime and never tire of it. He wasn’t close enough even though your bodies were pressed together, you needed more. The only thought in your brain is simply, more, more, more. 

He pulls away from you, both of you taking heaving breaths. His lips were perfectly pink, your body thrummed with the knowledge that you caused such a change in him. 

“Bedroom.” The single word went straight to your core. You take his hand and guide him to your bedroom. 

Once you turn on the light, he’s behind you, pressing into you. You can feel every part of him, and he kisses the back of your neck. He’s back to being soft and gentle. He brings his hands to your stomach and inches them under your shirt until he has your breasts in his hands. 

Your breasts feel heavy and logically you know why. Blood has rushed to them, just as it has rushed to your other erogenous zones, and it is sending a signal to your brain to release oxytocin. But you’re realizing that logic has no place in your head when Spencer’s hands and mouth are on you. Logic means nothing to you at this moment. 

“You’re so beautiful.” He compliments as he fondles your breasts, your head lolls back against his chest. He angles his head so he can kiss your cheek. “You distracted me that very first case you were on. Did you know that?” 

“No,” your eyes flutter shut when he moves down to kiss your jaw. 

“I thought you were so gorgeous. After the case, I went home to my apartment and touched myself as I imagined you. I felt so ashamed, I couldn’t even look you in the eyes the next morning.” 

Your mind wanders back to all those months ago. “I thought I had done something wrong,” you remember. 

“No, it was me. I was wrong. But I couldn’t stop. I mean you can feel what you do to me.” He was right, you could distinctly feel the effect you had on him. 

“I thought of you too.” You confess. 

“You did?” His voice is low and breathy and you nod. “In that bed.” He ticks his head to gesture toward it. “Tell me.” 

You feel yourself heat with blush. His thumbs brush across your nipples through your bra and your breath gets caught in your throat. You swallow and answer. “I would lie there, normally because I couldn’t sleep. And then I’d think about you. Your hands, I’d think about your hands.” 

“My hands?” He squeezes your breasts. 

You nod and answer simultaneously, “yes. I’d imagine them on my body, touching me.” He brushes your nipples again and you shiver. “And I’d slip my hand into my underwear, and rub my clit. Pretend it was you.” His hands abandon your breasts and slide around to your back. You step forward as he takes off your shirt and then unhooks your bra and helps you out of it. His hands on your hips turn you to face him. 

“I knew you were beautiful. But you’re perfect.” Your instinct is to feel self conscious under his gaze, but you push it away when you notice the admiration in his eyes.  

You reach for him and finish the job of unbuttoning his shirt and then peeling it off of him. “Fair is fair.” You say. He laughs, but his laugh dies in his throat when your nails scratch down his chest. 

Your hands explore his exposed chest and back, feeling the muscle move underneath soft skin, and he works to rid you of your pants. You use him for balance as you step out of your pants, but as soon as you're standing on two feet again, he backs you toward your bed. 

When the back of your legs hit the bed, you allow yourself to fall back onto it. He leans over you, your legs open for him and he kisses you again. Your hands continue their previous tour of his back, now feeling how his shoulder blades move when he grinds against you. 

The first time he does it, you throw your head back in a moan. Even though you have multiple layers of fabric between you, you can still feel the heat radiating through you. He does it again and you arch up to meet his movement. When he does it a third time your nails scratch down his back. 

He makes a low noise from the back of his throat and you know that your panties are soaked. His lips take a journey down your body, kissing and nipping at your clavicle, your chest, spending a significant amount of time on both of your breasts, and down your stomach. Your clawing at his back by the time his mouth meets the band of your underwear. 

“Look at you,” he whispers. His thumb rubs lightly at your clit over the fabric. Your thighs clench and he laughs. “Keep them open for me, baby.” You mewl at the pet name. “You like that? Being called baby?” 

“Yes.” You groan out when his thumb repeats his earlier action. 

He does it again, almost unbearably slow. “I want to taste you so bad. I’ve wanted to know how good you taste for so long.” His voice is strained. 

“You can. I want you to.” 

His hands skate up to the hem of your underwear and you lift your hips slightly as he pulls them down. You open your legs for him again and he swallows. “Stunning.” His mouth is on you before you have time to process the word. 

Almost instantly, he moans against you, the vibrations causing your toes to curl. Your hands clench your duvet and he pulls away for a split second, “touch me.” You do what he asks, coiling your fingers into his hair. He laps at your clit, creating a pattern and rhythm that makes your buck up to meet him. His hands grip at your hips and hold you in place. 

“Spencer, oh fuck,” you ramble. He answers by moaning against you again and then sucking your clit into his lips. You bite down a scream. The heat at the base of your spine spreads across your body. “Oh my god. Oh god.” 

He alternates between lapping and sucking at your sensitive bud, your nails practically digging into his scalp, your toes curling, as you try to catch your breath. Just at the moment where it feels like too much, your body clenches and crashes over the edge of your ecstacy, his name falling from your lips repeatedly. 

He continues to lap at you softly until your muscles relax in his arms and then he looks up at you, smiling and his lips glistening, “you’re incredible.” You pull him up, so that you can kiss him. You kiss the taste of you off his lips. He brings his head up to look at you, pushes away the stray hairs stuck to your forehead. “Are you going to get sick of me calling you beautiful?” He smiles. 

“No, I don’t think I could.” He smiles into another kiss. His hands travel down your body and as soon as one of his fingers slides across your folds, the flames reignite. 

“Is this okay?” He asks. “I want all of you.” One of his fingers slips inside of you and then he pulls it out. He slides it back in and then repeats his action, starting slow and building up to a comfortable tempo, as he continues to kiss you. Nothing about his movements is frantic, but rather languid and relaxed, gently stoking the growing fire inside of you. You grind your hips against his finger and he smoothly adds a second finger. The feeling is different, but not bad as you feel yourself accommodating the extra digit. 

“Alright?” He checks in with you, looking into your eyes. 

“It feels good.” It’s not like the times you’ve laid here in this bed with your fingers inside you. It’s an entirely divergent sensation that you don’t think your imagination would have been able to conjure. “Really good.” 

“Yeah?” He stops sliding his fingers in and out and instead leaves them inside as he pumps them, almost as if he’s searching. He finds what he’s looking for when you gasp and cling to his shoulder. 

“Yeah.” You nod furiously, biting down on your lip. He’s no longer building the tension within you. Instead, it’s like he’s playing with a taut rubber band, waiting for it to snap. 

You feel your eyes start to close, wanting to roll to the back of your head. “Keep your eyes on me, baby. I want to see. Want to see you come apart for me.” 

You force your eyes open. “Spencer…” 

“I know, relax into it.” His thumb starts to rub your clit. “You’re doing so good.”  

“Oh my god,” you start to mutter and ramble again, a mixture of curses and Spencer’s name. You never break eye contact with him. It’s intense, but also intimate. 

“Are you gonna come for me, baby?” 

You let out a whine in answer and feel a muscle in your thigh twitch. Your core clenching on his fingers, the wet sounds of his fingers inside of you filling the room. The grip on his shoulders is tight and you hope it isn’t painful, but he barely seems to notice, all of his attention is on you. The mixture of admiration and lust on his features is almost too much. But you’re realizing that Spencer Reid never does anything part way or half-assed. Once Spencer puts his mind to something, he’s going to accomplish it. Not only that, but he’s going to put an almost Herculean effort into it. And somehow, you’ve become something he’s put his mind to. The thought makes you lean up and kiss him. 

You kiss him until a gasp separates your lips from him. “So perfect,” he muses. Your core constricts and contracts on his fingers. Your breathing is short and your legs feel like they’re shaking, but you can’t really tell. “Come for me.” 

One more shaky breath and then you do, the rubber band snaps. Your body arcs up into him and he swallows your shout with his lips, kissing you deeply. Again, he slows down but doesn’t stop, guiding you down from your high. When he does pull his fingers from you, you watch as he brings them to his mouth and sucks them clean. 

This time you don’t need him to rekindle the flame of need inside of you, it's already there. You reach between your bodies for his belt. Together, the two of you make quick work of the last of his clothing. And then he’s kissing you again, both his hands and your own caress, rub, and grab at each other. You reach down lower and lower, until you meet his hardened length with your hand. You grip the base and he falters. 

“I’d love that. Really, I want it so bad. But I won’t last, baby.” You squeeze him again and smile up at him, fluttering your eyelashes. “You’re a vixen.” He laughs, kissing you. 

“I want you.” 

“Fuck. I don’t have a condom.” You blink, it’s the first time you’ve ever heard Spencer drop the f-bomb. You giggle. 

“I have some.” One of his eyebrows raises in question and you shrug. “I like to be prepared. They’re over there.” You gesture toward your nightstand and he stretches over to open it. 

“Oh,” he lets out a surprised gasp and just then you remember what else is in your top drawer. “I guess you don’t just use your fingers to masturbate, do you?” He laughs. 

You reach up behind you and grab a pillow and toss it at him. He dodges it and it falls to the floor. “Like I said, I’m a virgin, not inexperienced.” 

Spencer grabs the box of unopened condoms, opens it and pulls one out. He carefully places the box back, his eyes lingering on your menagerie of sex toys. 

“What are you doing?” You ask. 

“I have an eidetic memory. I’m remembering… for later.” He smiles and you feel your heart speed up, pounding against your ribcage. You hadn’t had time to discuss anything past tonight. His smile falters. “I mean – I don’t mean to presume anything. Only if you want.” 

You reach over to him and pull him back toward you, kissing him. “I do. I want there to be a next time. Other times.” 

He looks down at you, searching. “Good, I do too.” He kisses you and only pulls away to put on the condom. He continues his kisses as he moves to position himself, spreading your legs for him. He brushes his thumb over your clit again and you moan. When he lifts his head from yours and glances up at you. You nod your head. 

You feel the tip of him at your entrance, pressing against you, but not fully in. That’s all he does at first, until you move on him and allow him to slip into you. He works himself into you, allowing you to stretch around him. It isn’t uncomfortable, but it’s definitely a new sensation. None of your toys feel like him. Both of you watch as his penis slowly disappears inside of you. He pushes in the last inch with a thrust. There’s a flash of a pinch and you let out a breath. 

“Are you okay?” He asks. 

“Yeah, just give me a second.” He nods, licks his bottom lip and then resumes his circles on your clit. It only takes a few seconds for you to relax on him. You grind your hips, somehow taking him deeper. He groans. “Move, Spencer. Please.” 

He inches out of you and then pushes back in without any urgency or force. He starts the same pattern and rhythm his fingers had used earlier that night. The feeling of him moving inside of you is incredible, you can feel him dragging against your walls. His body against yours, skin to skin, more connected than you’ve ever been with anyone else. Between the feeling of him pumping into and his movement against your clit, it doesn’t take long until you’re clawing at his back, wordlessly asking him for more. He answers, creating a relentless rhythm that you grind your hips to match. 

At some point, your eyes had shut and you hadn’t realized and so you force them open again, wanting to watch Spencer come apart just like he watched you. “You feel so good. Better than I could have imagined.” He starts to ramble. “I can’t believe I get to feel you like this. So good.” 

His eyes shoot down to watch himself slip in and out of you. “Fuck.” He cusses again. You decide you like when he curses, especially if you’re the reason. He moves his hips and his cock finds the same spot his fingers found earlier and you clench around him as you let out a deep groan. 

You lose track of time, it moves at a snail’s pace, but also at the speed of light. Time ceases to exist to you, your world shrinks down to only the two of you, everything else falls away. And then you’re falling again, diving headfirst into an orgasm. 

“Yes, yes. I love feeling you like this. Oh my god… oh fuck. I’m gonna –” he sputters. 

You reach up and pull his lips to yours, kissing him through his own orgasm. He shakes above you as he pumps into you with a final harsh push. And then when he peaks, he slowly fucks into you through his orgasm. He continues to kiss you until both of your breathing returns to normal and then he lifts his head to look at you. 

He smiles and you can’t help it when a huge toothy smile appears on your own face. 

“Are you okay?” He inquires. 

“I’m perfect.” 

His hand reaches up and caresses the side of your face. “You are.” 

The next morning you walk into the office still smiling. Everyone is around the desks, including Spencer. He glances over at you and nods in greeting, as if you hadn’t just said goodbye to him a few hours ago, the first golden rays of dawn streaming through your bedroom window. 

“Good morning.” You say to everyone. You set your go bag down at your desk and Emily smiles over at you, a mischievous glint in her eyes. 

“Oh, Morgan. You had it all wrong.” She teases. 

Morgan looks at Emily and then over to you. “What?” 

“That is the look of a woman who got it real good last night.” Emily laughs, loud and brash. You smile with her and Penelope gasps. 

“Tell. Me. Everything.” She runs over to you and grabs onto your arm. 

“I have no idea what you mean.” You reply innocently. 

JJ smirks. “Oh, she got it real good last night.” 

“Is sex all you guys think about?” You joke. The girls laugh and Morgan still seems confused. Spencer is focused on the file on his desk, but his finger isn’t moving down it and you know he isn’t reading it. “I had a good night last night.” You give a small inch, just to stave them off. Penelope squeals. You grab her hand. “And that’s all I’ll say about it.” 

“Boo!” Emily exclaims. 

Penelope almost pouts. “Oh, you are the worst!” 

“I know!” You laugh gleefully. Spencer looks up for only a split second, but you catch it and he smiles at you. 

“I’ll find out eventually. You do know that, right?” Penelope warns. 

“You are terrifying.” You squeeze her arm and turn away from the group to start on your mountain of files. It’s true that eventually everyone would probably find out about you and Spencer, but for now the two of you get to live in your own personal world. You smile to yourself.

tag list: @spenciesprincess @catalinasroom @tylevx @alicentswife @ingrid69rs @sobbingcryingattsizzles @infinitegalaxiesworld

[lovelykil]

─Headcanons─

kyle x reader older ver.

hc; random nsfw hcs

cw; nsfw

note; I'm back sorta I haven't been writing cause of school 😒 plus no motivation anyway 💁🏾‍♀️⤵

black reader implied (≧◡≦)

noww truth be told that there was this ONE time

heavy on the ONE

one time kyle actually was a little frisky and a horny shit at a sleepover.

WHAATT? The awkward dork who gets nervous from hand holding?

Yeah, okay. But it was only that ONE time.

Maybe something was just in the air or he drank something ordinary, not sure but the guys were all deep asleep on the ground, well hopefully.

Kenny resting on Cartman's stomach, his arms spiraled outward and legs while Cartman himself furrowed his eyebrow in his sleep from the light weight on his body.

Stan comfortably in his own spot, resting on his side as drool fell from his mouth.

Kyle looking up at the ceiling wide eyed and in a sweat with a slow growing erection on his bed next to you.

And you, on your side probably half asleep or about to actually fall asleep.

Kyle would look over at you, your curly hair out of its cap from forgetting it back at your house when you were packing a bag for the sleepover.

He saw your shoulders rise and fall slowly contemplating whether he should really bother you this late, well he didn't exactly know what time it was but he assumed it was late as fuck considering everyone was pretty much knocked out.

The more he stared at your shoulders the more his eyes just wandered down to your back and bottom, you were wearing an old shirt of his, might I say a big one.

All his shirts are big on you though, mf is tall asf ugh

Your legs were covered by the blanket but your ass wasn't.

And ohh my god surprise surprise, no shorts.

Who wears shorts with long t shirts anyway

I'm jk but you did take them off like right before crashing it was just hot in Kyle's room for some reason at that time.

His perverted gaze fell right on your slightly showing underwear.

he wanted so bad to touch you right now, his dick throbbed inside his boxers. He looked away trying to fight the urge. He was so horny right now for no reason it kinda pissed him off lmao.

He rarely ever does get like this, and at such a worst timing.. his friends?? omg

he bit his lip, his mind racing.

The ginger sat up to take a look at his friends, checking if the coast was clear. it was. Not a moving body in sight.. just sometimes obnoxiously loud ass snores from Cartman.

He laid back down with a sigh and let his urges take over after a little hesitation.

You let out a little yawn moving your legs ontop of the other in sleep so your bottom was basically there for easy grab.

Kyle had scooted close to you, his hand slowly running down your arm then rubbed your thigh. You shifted in sleep some bit from the touch, backing up into him.

Your butt rubbed against his boner, he grunted to this, sucking in his lip.

"Hey y/n.." seconds later from what you on did accident, he whispered.

You didn't respond, you were slowly getting sucked into dream land.

His arm sneaked toward your stomach he slowly pulled you closer to him, lining up his member with your clothed woman hood.

"baby.." he pleaded in a soft manner into your ear that just made you alert, someone was trying to wake you up.

You hummed a response, your eyes opening slowly now.

"mmh.. kyle?"

"yeah it's me sweetheart." He nudged his head into the back of yours causing faint tired smile to grow on your face.

"what's up.. mmh..?" Kyle fell silent, resting his chin on your head. He pondering for a moment then spoke.

"are you awake..?"

"...nah.. I'm sleepin."

"really?"

"...no kyle what you want?" you muttered, coming off a little annoyed from his question. I mean you were like half awake half not not his fault he didn't know 🙁

"sorry I'm just a little.. uhm.." He faltered again. You waited for his next word, trying not to fall asleep.

"You're what? Hungry, thirs–"

"Horny, I'm very horny right.. now baby.." a low whiney confessing slipped through his lips and into your ear. You felt something poke you from behind right after he admitted.

Your eyes open some more a little stunned, you were still tired but now much more aware of what was happening.

"The guys are down there kyle.."

"I know I know but.. fuck." He breathed, his warm breath was felt on your neck sending a shiver down your spine. Your stomach tingled when his hand reached your underwear, rubbing your pussy slowly.

"Can I baby? Will you let me?" kyle begged, softly now closer as ever.

You could just feel the warmth between you two it was making you hot..

You moaned softly as his fingers gently graced your cunt.

You didn't exactly know what to say I mean the thought of doing something like this right when his friends are in the room was kinda bizarre.. then again you weren't not.. not into this..

"mmm.. y-yeah go ahead.." You consented, giving him the green light to fulfill his urges. He smiled, kissed your cheek then brought his fingers to his mouth.

"Try to stay quiet, can you do that for me hmm?" He licked his middle and ring finger and began to go beneath your panties to rub your now wet temple.

You nodded your head with no words said, trying not to moan so much just control your breathing.

"Good job y/n." He kissed your neck ending his sentence with a smile, his fingers sliding themselves against your cunt some more. You sucked in your lips and felt your pussy begin to throb, wanting more.

He teased, rubbing your clit with a little snicker when you started to shift around, your breathing growing heavy.

"You want more baby? Tell me you do." His annoying teasing started to make you a little out of control and wanting to beg him to stop.

You weren't one to beg but shit..

"ah..mm.. kyle please.. I want more..." you trying to keep your volume down while being played with made that boner of his just grow some more into you.

"Mmmh okay since you sounded so pretty." He soon stuck his long pale fingers inside your slippery pussy. You gasped from the contact of his digits.

You always forget how fucking long they were.

"o-oh fuck.."

"You like that don't you? want me to fuck you with my fingers?" The teasing in his low voice made your cheeks warm and made you tight around him.

"mmhh agh!.. stop being such a tease.." You whined, growing flustered. He chuckled lightly, moving his fingers in and out of you slowly then picked up the pace just after a little more teasing.

always doing some shi like this 😒

"Alright Alright I'll stop, you just want me inside you don't you?" He moved his hips into your ass letting you feel his erection. Your mouth opened letting out a whine just after he moved his hips into you and slid his digits in and out fast just to hear mess up your speech on purpose.

"nngh- you.. asshole.."

"whats that? didn't hear you love." His fingers slid in and out of you more, his pace picking up soon you could hear the wet slippery noises from beneath the blanket that was half covering you.

You had to cover your mouth at this point, you were letting out to much noises as it already was,, your pussy was enjoying his fingers way to much, and he was enjoying your muffled out moans to his doing.

He wanted to fuck you so bad, he thought of just finishing you off with his fingers first then grab ahold of your hips to ram his throbbing cock inside your soaked cunt from behind and listen to you struggle to keep down your voice.

"uhh.. I need you inside me badly kyle,, mmh..!"

"Youu do? oh you're such a good girl for me sweetheart I'm going to make you finish first."

what's a short oneshot without my CLASSIC

good girl line 😫

Istg

You can't tell me he wouldn't say this he's all for praising

Whether it's during intimacy or just regular day stuff he still praises you

LIKE

"Oh you got a 90 on our math test? Good job sweetheart" 😁

AND

"oh fuck, you're such a good girl.. you're doing a good jo..job.. a-ahh.."

explodes

anyway

And so are you 😊

It was around midnight, everyone was asleep

Well your parents were

You and Kyle definitely weren't lmafo

good thing their bedroom was downstairs cause you were quite loud up in your room, your hair in a fuzzy mess, legs quaking in their spot and loud breathless moans escaping your mouth as Kyle held your legs open, his tounge venturing deep inside you. His thumb rubbed your pearl, driving you crazy and arching your back with a rush of pleasure flowing inside you.

Your hands eventually latched onto his thick hair trying to shove him away from the way his tounge licked your clit in such a way you squirmed and whined.

Even though you begged him to stop, your voice trembling, fingers stuck in curly red hair, sweat running down the sides of your dark skin literally on the verge of breaking

You actually didn't want him to stop.

It wasn't your safe word anyway and he knew, so he kept along, gripping your thighs and shoving his face like he was some dog.

"im.. I'm gonna come soon ky- oh fuck.."

You whimpered, your breath hot as well as the rest of your body. Kyle lifted up his head for a second and looked into your eyes.

"Just tell me when baby."

"o..okay.." He went right back down with a smile.

Soon you felt his tounge slide it's way back in letting out an 'aahh..' you gripped your blanket and panted heavy. You made some incoherent sentences to him in a breathless haze feeling your peak near.

"a-ah- I'm coming! coming.. f-fuck..-" Kyle rubbed your clit to satisfy you once more before you eventually came.

You felt like you just ascended, your eyes rolling back, body shaking with pleasure and your back arched soon all of it came to an end and you laid back down, trying to catch your breath.

Kyle came join you after caressing your thigh with care, he crawled his way to the side of you. He watched you pant heavily you looked over at him with a faint smile still trying to catch your breath.

He smiled back, his hand finding its way to your cheek to kiss you. As the kiss grew you slowly sat up for him and leaned into the long kiss, your tongue soon separated from his as you two panted together looking at each other.

Once your breathing was normal you giggled "I taste weird." You put a hand to your mouth. Kyle shook his head with a playing eye roll.

"You taste good." He brought your head to him so he could land a kiss to your forehead. You smiled to yourself, your cheeks getting warm.

"Thank you for that even though we were just bored." You picked up his hands to hold it with yours. He swung your hands with his a little with a smile.

"I love making you feel good, I love you– Wait did I make you feel good? Oh wait what if you just faked your orgasm?! oh my god I'm a horrible boyfr-"

"WOAH hold on- no I didn't just fake this MIND blowing orgasm you gave me it was real, you did such a great job baby remember that." You cut him off and kissed the back of his pasty white hand.

He blushed, smiling shyly at your words and watching you kiss his hand like some princess.

"Really?" He asked, wanting a little more reassurance.

"Yes really, now I need to find my sweat pants." You kissed his cheek and smiled at him then stepped off the bed.

Kyle's gaze fell on you as you stepped off the bed, a big giddy smile on his flushed face.

Reassurance was such a big thing for him plus the praising oh myyy lordd

As you took a step forward your legs immediately felt like jello and just as fast as you got up you fell on the ground with a shriek.

Kyle eyes widen in shock, he quickly rushed to your aid in a worry.

"ARE YOU OKAY.."

"I think I broke my legs or you just did I don't know I can't walk."

".. I'll go find your sweats stay in bed."

"And new underwear! I lost my underwear too."

"I- okay"

He has very noticeable scratches on his back it looks like he got attacked by a bear but in reality, it was you who did that 🙏🏾

In the locker room when he changes out of his basketball uniform the guys couldn't help but ask what the fucks up with his BACK

"Dude what the hell happened to your back? You didn't tell me you got attacked by a dog or something." Stan walked passed Kyle, his eyes fixing on his bestfriends body

Okay that sounds kinda gay but it isn't alright

Most of the guys agreed, staring at him. Kyle looked at them confused.

"What? I wasn't attacked by a dog? What's wrong with my back?"

"Go look in the mirror dude." Kyle's eyebrows rose, he set his shirt down to walk over to the mirrors.

He turned himself around to observe his lower half. To his surprise that shit was red as fuck, scratches everywhere he's not really sure how he didn't even feel the pain right now well until he touched one scratch.

He winced in pain, adjusting his shoulders back in discomfort. He looked in the mirror trying to remember how he even got those scars. Just seconds later when he looked down at his matching bracelet you got him his eyes widen.

Kyle had one day came home a little irritated from the lost of the basetball game, 20-24. Lost by four points. He blamed Kenny for getting distracted by those cheerleaders in their skirts and crop tops rooting for him.. no like literally they were just rooting for Kenny.

🧍🏾‍♀️

anyway he didn't pass the ball from his obvious attention towards the girls and the 4th quarter was just ending once the buzzer went off the crowd cried in disappointment, some teammates slapped the back of Kenny's fucking head shouting at him in frustration.

"DUDE STOP FONDING OVER THE CHEERLEADERS"

"Oh shit we lost?"

"YES"

"Oh my bad guys lmao" Clyde pushed Kenny and ran out off the court he felt tears start to form from the lost of the game. Tolkien groaned running after his friend.

"We did good guys alright? We'll get them next time." Tolkien reassured trying to be optimistic but secretly he wanted to slap Kenny in the face as he ran off to catch Clyde.

Kyle shook his head, he was too frustrated to even face Kenny right now so he walked off the court along with some other teammates, his one hand on his hip while the other pinched the root of his nose.

"Sorry I couldn't make it to the game I forgot I had an essay due literally tomorrow."

"Don't sweat it, we lost anyway." Kyle threw his bag onto the ground and laid straight on your bed with a huff.

You stopped typing and looked over at him, he was pretty bummed, pissed off even.

"Oh shit sorry, I'm sure you did your best." You rolled over to him, patting his head. He didn't say much except just stared off into the distance.

You awkwardly stopped petting him and looked around from the quietness, he didn't seem in the mood to converse.

"Okay I'm just gonna finish my es-"

"Come here." Suddenly he was brought back to reality, he reached for your hand, sitting up.

"Hm?" You looked back at him, looking into his green eyes. He paused trying to come up with something.

"Can you sit down over here.." He let go of your hand to pat a spot next to him. You looked at him then at your laptop that had your essay tap open, ready for it's finish.

You didn't think he would take long to say a few words to you so you listened to him, switching your spot to your bed.

Once you were next to him he looked at you and you could just tell..

This wasn't going to just a short talk.

"fuck, Kyle really?"

"Just for a bit.. I swear I just need to let some steam off." His hand fell on your thigh as he pleaded. You looked up at him, your eyes fixing back on your laptop set on your desk.

The clicker blinking every second.

"My parents might come home early."

"Well keep your voice down, yeah?" He started to take off his shirt. He set it down on the floor with your slippers by your bed. You watched, biting your lip down from nerves.

Though he looked so good right now, he was slightly structured his torso built well considering he does play sports he doesn't work out much but you could definitely tell he was healthy, and his waist..

oh god

You found yourself slipping off your shirt as well, taken away by your boyfriend's beauty. He went in-between your legs and cuffed your face, smashing his lips into yours with force. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to the hungry frustrated kiss you felt his fingers tug lightly on your thick hair, causing a low moan to escape from your mouth.

He bit your bottom lip with a smirk, pulling away for a second. He looked down at you, huffing. You stared back trying to hold back from tugging on his sweats.

"What?" You asked, as he kept staring into your soft eyes. He laughed shaking his head.

"Nothing it's just I felt a heartbeat from you. You want me don't you Y/n?" The teen cooed, inching toward your neck. Your eyes looked up in embarrassment, feeling your face heat up.

How'd he even know?

this boy is full of surprises one day he's a little angry cute nerd next thing you know he's a horny spaz, wanting to cum in you and bare his children despite being so young.

"Well I mean yeah, it's kinda hot when you're forceful."

"Oh really?"

"mhm-mh.." He backed away and examined your face.

Your eyes kept traveling down to his sweats growing a bit impatient, your body temperature was rising every second he looked at you.

He very quickly took notice, grinning. He tugged on the strings of his sweats, undoing the tie.

"Why don't you help me take them off so I can finally fuck you baby?" He whispered, his tone sensually and playful.

"oh fuck" you muttered, already starting to feel your climax by the sound of his voice.

You reached out and helped him undo the tie, he watched with a smirk his erection was already poking through the sweats.

"oh, you good girl.."

Soon later your nails were digging into his skin, his cock ramming into your cunt fast, too fast you couldn't think much at the pace he was going your brain was practically mush, your moans grew louder with every rough thrust he did, grunting right by your ear.

Your hair bounced along with his, some of his curls would slowly fall in his face as he thrusted himself into you. You sometimes giggle and move away the curl to crash your lips into his then pull away whenever he slid himself in and out fast, feeling his dick roughly ruin your insides.

Your nails just clawed the fuck out of him when he did that, the twitching sensation from his dick inside you as he hit your womb made you scream his name and gasp for air.

He'd whisper you lovely words in a sweat, next to your ear or above you.

'lovely words' being

"Oh yeah you like that don't you? Taking in my cock like the pretty girl you are."

"I'm going to fucking cum in you so hard baby, make you such a gre..great mommy."

"ohh shit you feel so fuck..ing good around my dick, I can't.. even uhh.. fuck.."

:3

And that's when Kyle's flashback ended, his face was red as fuck his thought process coming to an abrupt stop. He rushed back to his locker, shoving his clothes in there.

"You saw them?"

"Y-Yeah.. I uhm." He put on his sweater then closed his locker. The guys looked at him expecting an explanation from what they were all wondering about. Kyle just stared at all of them, gulping.

"I-yeah a dog.. attacked me. Whoops."

"There's barely dogs running around south park though." Craig looked over.

"You know what mind your business." He huffed, his face still red as he began to leave the locker room. Everyone watched him storm out, shocked.

Kenny came walking in with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Those scratches are from his girlfriend, idiots." Kenny snickered, walking to his locker. Stan looked at Tolkien, Tolkien looked over at Clyde and Clyde looked at Criag, most of them confused.

"Is she like abusing him or something? Holy shi–"

"Ohh that makes sense now.." Craig connected the dots, sitting up from the bench. Tolkien looked away thinking.. then it hit him.

"Ohhh. Damn."

"What?" Clyde eagerly waited for someone to explain though no one would. Stan went to call Kyle to tease him about it the rest of the boys started to get dress while Clyde still wondered why the hell his back was fucked up.

"GUYS c'mon!"

"Dude how do you not get it."

"I just DONT? MAYBE EXPLAIN"

"My god you're a faggot."

"WHAT"

"Shut up Clyde"

Now alot of people say he has a breeding kink 🤔

which I meannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

makes sense he is big on family when he gets older which just makes it really difficult to just say fuck it all and get you pregnant now.

well we have birth control for a reason I guess 💁🏾‍♀️

There's always that loud thought in his head as he's just close to his end, gripping onto your hips with a flushed expression. Going in and out fast trying to cum as he whines.

'come inside her, she'll look so pretty with your baby in her'

'fucking shit just breed her already, you know you wanna'

'you'll have little mixed cute babies with her.'

okay call me crazy but it's so rare I've ever seen a ginger black person 😭 anyway

He's soo tempted to do it, just one more thrust and he's fucked.

"Y/n are you on.. birth control?!!!! Hurry fu..fuck.." He leaned down, his arms pinning you. Your thoughts were all mush so it took a bit to answer his question.

"huh.?? Oh I think so.. why?"

"Can I cum inside you please, I cant.. hold it.. in anymore." Your pussy throbbed from the thought of his warm seed filling you up, your cunt tightening around his member getting Kyle to whimper.

You nodded vigorously, "yes yes come inside me.. that's kinda hot to think about yeah?" You chuckled with a pant, feeling him move inside you.

He nodded his head, smiling himself.

"no yeah thats.. really fucking hot to think.. oh shit I'm com..ing.."

In matters of seconds you felt his thick gooey fluid flood your insides, the both of you moaned together, his thrusts started to slow down, his dick rubbing against your walls filled with his seed grew sloppy he finally reached his end with you.

"My god one day when we have our own house and are older im going to get you actually pregnant.." He pulled out his cock, breathing heavy. You breathed yourself, your hands went to cuff his face.

"That's cute, if you get me pregnant now I swear to god I'll cut your dick off." You innocently smiled, leaning up to kiss his nose. His eyes widen, his laughter growing nervous.

"I'm gonna go get a towel for you now.. alright?"

"Alright." You watched as he leaned off you but came to a quick pause.

"Are you being serious?" He awkwardly asked, a little fear in his eyes.

You sat up to look at him, you covered up your laugh.

"No, I would never."

"Oh thank god, okay."

"Or I maybe I would."

"huh" 😧

flabbergasted

[colealexart]

Can you tell us the story of you meeting Ashley and Sam?

sure!

we waited in ashley's queue after seeing laura but it was taking a while and they had to leave for lunch, then photo ops. when we did see her, we had been in the queue for a while because she likes to spend time with people, so the nerves that i was feeling at the beginning kind of dissipated. i was still super nervous to meet her, because she's ashley johnson, but my back and legs were hurting from standing in the queue for so long, so that kind of took my mind off of it a little.

my friend went before me in the queue and got my fearne print signed by her, and i was getting the same print signed too. so when it was my turn, she was like "ohh, that person had this print too" and i was like "yeah i drew it" and she looked so shocked(?) lmao. she was like "you did?! oh my god, it's beautiful!"

i mentioned how much i loved ellie and how much the last of us means to me, and she looked so touched. she stopped signing for a moment to listen to me, with the softest smile on her face. she is very good at keeping you in conversation, so much so that i completely forgot to gift her the extra fearne print that i brought for her.

i did give her the dice that i brought for her though, and she looked so excited. i started saying “i’m sure you receive so many dice but-“ and before i could finish, she interrupted me and said "NO, LAURA GETS ALL THE DICE!" which i thought was hilarious. we played rollies and i got a nat 1 and she got a 4. i also got to hear the signature ashley johnson quote “its caaacked” in person because my dice was slightly tilted off the paper.

i also completely forgot to ask for a selfie, because... well. she's ashley johnson. i was lowkey ascending into another dimension.

as for sam, i had met him before a couple times, during our group and single photo op, but for the autograph he came immediately after ashley. during our photo op, i wore the cursed sam mask that was given out during the live show prank, and he laughed and called it horrifying. i didn't realize, but during our photo he was pulling a face at me because i wore the mask, and it makes me laugh every time. (also, as we were waiting, he introduced himself to every single person taking a photo with him, which i find very funny. sir, we are literally here for you. we paid for this.)

for the sam autograph, on all the other tables i went to, they had you talk to someone beforehand to tell them your name and any autograph personalizations you wanted, so they could write it down on a post-it to make it easier for the talent. however, with sam's, it was a little different. the person helping him out asked for my name, and instead of writing it down he personally introduced me to sam himself. it immediately relaxed me, for some reason. it didn't feel like i was meeting a celebrity (even though i had already met him briefly during the photo ops.) he shook my hand and said, jokingly, "wow, i've never seen this before" about my fcg print. (i had tweeted at him a couple months ago with the print i was going to get signed at mcm, and he responded "cant wait".)

we made conversation about the live show. sam is very soft-spoken irl. he took his time with my autograph and we chatted about the flat white with vanilla please prank on marisha. he said it's very fun to bully her lol. he then took a second to look at the fcg print, and said that it's really cool and he loves the design. i had a spare in my bag, so i offered it to him. he said "oh, i don't want to take it from you, so only if you're sure" which was just. the sweetest. i gave him the print and he was very gracious and shook my hand again.

sorry, this got long lol. i had so much fun meeting them and they truly made everyone feel so welcome and loved. i could talk about my experience at mcm and the live show until the end of time.

[fullmetal-scar-simping]

I really think father and hohenheim should have been the same character? I mean, father is such a bland villain. Maybe I just haven't looked enough but I haven't seen even the most hardcore bh fans talk about him? It's all just about how ed punched god or whatever. No one's actually interested in the guy himself. I can think of several ways them being the same person would make it a lot more interesting, at least to me. I mean, first of all ed and al having to fight their own shitty father is some delicious angst. Second I really like the mad scientist type character and that's what hoho would be in that scenario. Third I think it would be fun to analyse the "sins" he took out of himself if he was a human to begin with. Ohh and come to think of it, it would go really well with Ed's whole "alchemists are the closest things to God yadda yadda" speech in the beginning wouldn't it? Honestly I can't think of any reason why they had to be different people at all...Ah, except how can I forget. Arakawa's writing this. Of course they have to be two different people. One who actually did all the wrong things and the loving father and husband who's going around trying to make everything right(nevermind that he left Trisha to care for their 4-5 yos all alone with no support. Nuh uh he's perfect) If she held the fact that the two can in fact be the same person it might just explode her world. I'm rolling my eyes.

Father and Hohenheim as the same character? Who is a mad scientist? Who as a result reimburses Ed's pompous "Alchemists are the closest things to god"? Blends aspects of being an unforgivable monster with having loved his family? I've got your guy!

🎉Hohenheim of Light!🎉

Oh sure, he's not the final big bad that the Elric bros have to fight, and sure he's more of a retired villain who's mildly penitent for his centuries of bloodshed, rather than continuing to enact widespread destruction. But we do get to see the results of all his transgressions against humanity and his own first son too! So, 🎉 ta-da! 🎉

To actually address your ask:

Besides what 03 had already done, for awhile I actually thought Father WAS Hohenheim in Brotherhood.

To clarify: I avoided the online fandom from 2009 onward in order to prevent getting spoiled for the (at the time) new fma adaptation. I kept putting off watching it for well over a decade (lol), and for no other reason then a combo of 1) not being in the mood for more fma, and 2) when I was, I would immediately run right back to fma 03 without fail, and then be so thoroughly satisfied with revisiting a long time fave that I just. Would put off watching Broho for another time.

Still, being online in any capacity meant that every once in awhile I was unavoidably being exposed to the odd screenshot, text post, and fanart. No big deal, nothing really spoiled anything heavily enough for me to know the full story, and I could easily scroll away before making sense out of anything.

But I did one day stumble into a screenshot of Father glowering in his underground throne. And here I thought "Oh shit! Hohenheim is actually in full villain mode this time around?! We're going to actually explore the mass annihilation he commits for philosopher stones and how his sons will have to contend with their own father. This will surely dig even deeper into Ed and Al's heel turn against the military, and what alchemy means as a method of power and control. Man, this is gonna fuck!"

lol

lmao even

So to my now endless disappointment I finally watched Brotherhood this last spring. And although I surprisingly liked* this affable, bumbling, rather tragic version of Hohenheim (which stumps me, given my initial assumption for Brotherhood AND being a long time Hohenheim of Light enjoyer) (I still like Hoho of Light more tho), Father was such a fucking let down on every front.

*Don't get me wrong, I'm not claiming Von Hohenheim didn't do wrong against Trisha and his kids. As much as he had to build the anti-circle around Amestris, it doesn't erase the fact that Trisha had to shoulder the full burden of raising their kids, and child Ed's sense of abandonment and outrage against him is highly warranted.

Even keeping Father as a homunculus that duplicates Hohenheim's appearance, he still could have been an interesting character and villain. But every step of the way he was just the obvious big bad mostly relegated to the background, stored away except for a few key encounters and flashbacks. He was paper thin, an easy excuse for why the core ills of Amestris are all his exclusive fault, and conveniently the canon has an in-baked reason for why he has the personality and stage presence of cardboard. Woo. hoo.

God the lore and function of homunculi blows in mangahood. At the very least make me actually feel like they are parts of this once former-cyclops in a bottle! And still make Father an actually compelling character! In fact the other homunculi could have potentially been an effective vehicle for that, but noooooo-

Honestly, I agree. It would have been so much more affecting for Hohenheim and Father to be one, singular character. Of course much of his backstory would have to change, but that's not a loss in my hater's opinion. The implications for the Elrics, for their paradigms to be entirely torn asunder and have to be rebuilt in order to survive and make sense out of their position in Amestris, it would have been juicy.

You're right, I have seen next to no deeper interest or investment into Father as a character and as a narrative device from hardcore fans either. I'm sure it does exist, given Brotherhood's immense popularity, but damn if we can be forgiven for getting the impression that most fans just don't give a rat's unseasoned ass. I see more posts and fanart for Von Hohenheim than I do Father lol

Mangahood simply can't have (or actually address) any truly murky topics, or depict messy and complex characterization, if it doesn't ultimately shine the brightest, most admirable, most absolving light on our protags as possible. So why would Von Hohenheim have anything to do with Father besides having been his victim?

We remain starved by the emaciated, sorry excuse for 'pathos' that is Father's whole deal. What a shame.

[theintrovertbean]

Hello there! I've never done a request in my life so this is a first

Your writing is great and I've decided trust you with a quest most frivolous, quill-master 🫡

Could you do a "Nadia with a female reader who is very - and I mean very - extraverted, bold, outspoken (but not in a dumb way 💀), kind of comedy master who just can't be intimidated even by the gods themselves?" LMAO I think I'm kinda bad at this but you feel what I'm trying to say right? You know like that one player in D&D who has maxed out charisma 🤓

And perhaps, if you feel like it, how that would work out in their bedroom dynamics?

ANYWAYS, thanks for being one of the last people on this app who make outstanding Nadia content AND THANKS FOR THE ATTENTION TOO OKAY BYE

This is kinda long I'm so sorry 💀

Hello Beatriz 👀 If I may call you that.

It always warms my heart when someone trusts me with their first request, so thank you, I hope I did alright 😭❤

This ended up being longer than I expected. Like, idk how? I wrote a sentence and panicked for like two hours because I had no idea what else to write, and then boom, it was there? I guess that means it's a very good ask 😎

I included a bit of spice, btw. Enjoy!

Ohh and I don't mind the long ask. On the contrary 👀

Nadia x Extroverted Fem!Reader

It is no secret that the Countess is quite an introverted woman, so your extroverted nature was a bit foreign to her at first. She felt insecure because what if you think she's not fun enough? Of course, no one would ever think that, but it took a few hugs and kisses to make Nadia feel alright again.

You tend to be bolder when it comes to flirting, which makes Nadia react in the cutest way possible. First, she stares at you for a second, gears turning in her head, but no words come out for a moment, and then she replies with something even bolder. What happens after that? You two keep flirting until one of you dies from blushing too hard.

Late-night talks with you two are to die for. Nadia is normally more reserved, but once you retire to her bedroom and start talking about anything and everything? That's like the best thing ever. And Nadia also loves listening to you talk. She admires you with so much love in her eyes whenever you open your mouth.

And the jokes. Oh my gayness, the jokes! Somehow, you find a way to make Nadia laugh all the time. You find out very early that the Countess snorts.

Imagine a meeting in the palace. The Court being the Court, they bring up an issue that makes no sense, and they have a whole argument about it. Nadia sits there, mentally facepalming herself, when you lean close and whisper something into her ear. The Countess ends up running out of the meeting room because of how hard she is laughing. That happens at least once a week.

You have never had any issues with socializing, so you have a lot of friends (or at least more than Nadia does). Nadia, however, spent most of her life alone, and when you introduced her to your friends, she felt very excited but also nervous. When everyone went home, Nadia almost cried in happiness because of how much fun she had with your friend group.

Every single time someone new shows up at the palace to meet the Countess, you yeet yourself to them because you just can't wait to meet them no matter who they are. By the time the person gets to meet Nadia, you have become besties with them, and they also invite you to the next family gathering to meet their sixty-nine relatives. Needless to say, Nadia is impressed.

Nadia admires that you can get along with anyone. And also that you fear no one, but it scares Nadi a bit sometimes.

She loves that you're not intimidated by her, tho. Most people are, so it's very refreshing for her.

There are a few cases when you are being a little too bold. For example, with a person who vastly outranks you and isn't very interested in a friendly chat. Nadia stands behind you, and puts her hands on your shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. "Y/N, my darling, how about you let me handle this one?" And everything about Nadia is just so comforting that you are immediately like, "Yes, my love, anything you want."

You might get in trouble sometimes, but Nadia always saves your ass.

Speaking of your ass. You're getting spanked as punishment whenever you're being too bold. You might be doing it on purpose, and I can't blame you.

You are flirting with each other all the damn time, which leads to either one of these outcomes: 1. You have quickies whenever and wherever you can, even if it means hiding somewhere in public. As long as Nadia doesn't make you moan too loud, it's all good. 2. You tease each other all day, and then as soon as you retire to Nadia's bedroom, your clothes are suddenly gone, and you two have passionate sex until you're both completely exhausted.

Nadia is a dom, and even an extroverted partner can't change that. However, your boldness is appreciated. Whisper something lewd into Nadia's ear, and you're going to find yourself tied to her bed in no time. The way you frustrate her with your words and inappropriate touching drives her wild.

And fuck. The dirty talk. It's unholy, it's hot as fuck, and you're both loving it. You make her even more vocal than she already is.

Nadia honestly finds it adorable if you're a very submissive person despite how bold you tend to be. She teases you about it, and it makes you squirm and whimper whenever she mentions it during sex.

[brick-a-doodle-do]

Well thank you!

How come you're gonna attack my ask box? 👀

I'mma use this to give you a short paragraph now:

Idk if you really got what I was asking completely but I'm gonna do what I meant regardless

(btw your thing being in light mode is a curse to my eyes when I see the screenshots lmao)

Paragraph:

This game had been going on for a while now. The two had been trying to get at each other for similar reasons. Except now night had fallen and the larger was asleep for once, prompting the smaller to sneak grab their sharpened, blade like needle, and head out there. They ran across the floor and expertly got onto the table. Only after jumping the gap to the bed did they start to sneak, being as quiet as possible. Once to the target, the back of the neck, they raised the needle and swung it down to plunge it into the skin...but it never happened. A hand reached around and grabbed them in a loose fist, the larger's crimson eyes staring up after they rolled into their back, holding the smaller above their face. The chilling, cold voice calmly enthused, "Seems I won our little game." Whelp. Guess this was karma for trying a sneak attack.

—

I will stop there but I fully combined both of what you mentioned mwahahaha

I love combing two things into one

It could be an au of my original idea...but I mainly didn't mean both the borrower and human being vampires, only one. I don't really think vampires could feed off each other very well. Maybe as a fill in for not having human blood? Hope you like the paragraph I gave you tho...you can do with it what you wish, and yes, I purposely didn't go to the noms part, suffer

(Not rly I just didn't want to put the first attempt in a random paragraph I didn't really intend to continue atm)

Enjoy the paragraph of a story that I didn't detail as much as I could have :P sneak peak of how I write books

yes of course! and i meant i'd attack your askbox with any ideas i had. so like in a /pos way :D

ooooh treated immediately :0 a treat!!

oh my godddd light mode. i have so much to say about this, so just bear with me,,,

i have tried SO many different modes on computer. i LOVE goth rave and could DEFINITELY get used to it, but the activity box! it's so bright!! i have to strain my eyes to even see text 😭 and dark mode i have the same problem with, also it's too dark. low contrast mode looks like it's fucking underwater, cement is WAY too bright, cybernetic is kinda cool but again the activity box sucks and pfps don't go well with the colors (and that pisses me off), canary is blinding, ghost is worse, vampire is cute but the ACTIVITY BOX MY EYES IT'S SO GREY WTF, pumpkin is alr but the orange is overpowering and THE ACTIVITY BOX!!!!!!, snow bright sucks, and pride is just way too wild. so true blue for the win! i will sit with goth rave and see if i can live with it, but for now i'm sticking with light mode as painful as it is (fyi i don't have light mode for ANYTHING else if that eases the pain <3)

OKAY now that that's out of the way!

OHHHHH 3D I LOVE THIS! I LOVE HOW YOU MIXED BOTH PROMPTS TOGETHER AND AJDSJFJ I AM BEGGING FOR MORE SOON! JUST A CRUMB! FEED THE POOR!!!!

ohh okay sorry i totally misinterpreted that :') oh my god totally i didn't even think of that i am stupid for not realizing that would just NOT work DSJFGFJSD

i do love it!!! i'm already hype for more :D

and mmm creative process sneak peak!! fun fun :> and no hard feelings for not wanting to waste your first nom writing on a paragraph that'll be showcased on my blog AAJFD i totally get that lmao

[mosviqu]

lmao yeahhh at least the self awareness is there it's something iguess😭

i just hope i will grow to like them one day cuz i dont want to let go of the 03liners💔 their choreography and fits were great but i just hope they will get better songs next time or sumn (sorry if there are any boynextdoor fans who are reading this) DUDE SAME I WAS SO HAPPY ABOUT HIM!!!! (jiung is amazingggg) AHHH IM SO EXCITED AS WELL this is probably going to be my fav ep from them judging by the previews or whatever they are called🤭 IM GLAD SUNOO IS APART OF OUR CREW😌JUST A GREAT ADDITION REALLY!! (ooo at least the number of 03liners that i know about is growing xd)

THEY SHOULD JUST HIRE U THEN ACTUALLY LMAO U WOULD BE THE BEST PROTECTOR!!! and now i know that i definitely do not want u to get mad at me🥸

so true but i think writing might be like that as well because before i sent u that ask i literally just didn't really write in english at all😟 IM GLAD U UNDERSTAND ME🥳 ohh god i'm sorry but that's kind of a funny story ur poor roommate😭 I HOPE U GUYS STILL HAVE THEM JUST TO WATCH THEM BACK AND LAUGH (or cringe)

the tiktok algorithm just knows how to get people hooked onto something:o AND YESSS HE IS SO ADORABLE!! i only know them as well in addition with yujin(youngest) and gyuvin(my beloved) but the poor three left just feels like i will never get them😭😭 2hours is just too long of a time istg

IM GLAD U LIKED SOME BUT I THINK I DID VERY BAD WITH THE RECOMMENDATIONS LMAO

(ajhdhdjfj dude when i read ur authors note i also almost cried i started reading it on my bus ride home so i think people thought i was crazy or sumn lmao) and also i can't remember wether i have replied to ur last reply on ur main or did i only reply to it in my head so if u would let me know i would appreciate it.-. (liebestraum anon💕💕)

no bc its so unfortunate i truly hope the next comeback is better 😭😭😭 im sorry boynextdoor fans it just wasnt for me sadly 😔 if the music is good we are more than happy to recruit new 03 line besties to the squad tho!!

THE CB LOOKS SO GOOD i keep hearing the song on tiktok and each time i think its out already and i go check it out and its not. this could be very well prevented if i just checked the cb date but im honestly too lazy so ill just wait for it to appear in my spotify notifs or something 😭😭

I AM THE BEST PROTECTOR its the aries rage and loyality ❤ also being the only daughter of the family helps SSHSJ. also dont worry i usually dont get violently mad at my friends i usually just turn petty on them so. no fights here dw dw AHAHA

no bc if i didnt have tumblr i just wouldnt use english much either LMAO also i feel like that every time i write a fic after a long time i feel like i turn rusty and i just cant get anything out of me 😭😭 takes me a few mins to adapt truly. also i would say poor my roommate but honestly she didnt know what major to pick so she copied me so thats on her 🤷‍♀️ (jk im glad we stuck together ive known her for 4 years now and if it wasnt for her i would be handling uni much worse than i am). ALSO WE DO HAVE MOST OF THEM but some got deleted 😔💔

LITERALLY the tiktok algorithm is my bestie but also my biggest enemy (have i mentioned that i got into wilbur through tiktok. :,)) but yes hanbin is the new love of my life thankyou. i am so excited for their debut TT lets hope i learn their names quickly AHAHA

YOU DIDNT DO BADLY W THE RECOMMENDATIONS I JUST NEED TO BE IN A SPECIFIC MOOD FOR NEW SONGS I GUESS 😭😭 i'll update u on all my next progress w the tbz listening party <3

:(((( crying is strictly prohibited with matters thay include me. /j ((also if u mean on rrxnjun,, i replied to your ask after u sent this one ?? Im not really sure ??? but as of now i have no more asks from u!)

[nicegaai]

Ch 5:

Im a little proud of myself for trying to give everyone separate typing quirks. Timo types like a terminally online goober and Ber always ends sentences with a period boomer-style… etc… idk. I thought that was fun. I don’t remember all the details of my texting hcs anymore so I’ll be winging it going forward

Did ao3 break my formatting? Im pretty sure that was supposed to be a “:3” :-( they killed my kitty smile…

Ohhhhh!! This was the ch I finally got a little horny with it, for real. Nice. I think I was like, ‘okay I need to work myself up to actually making this fic nsfw’ … lmao. Im still nervous about actually making them fuck I cannot lie…

WHY DID I CALL EMIL HIS NEXT VICTIM ,,,,,, oh wait I meant like. After touching on Ber he went for Emil next. That ws kind of a fucked up way to say it. I did not like that. But honestly, warranted

Literal actual basic typo. I know exactly what happened there, it was a tense thing and I was clicking thru edits too fast … FUCKK !!!!! 

Cuckold Berwald Real. TO ME. I should have made that exchange funnier. There was squandered opportunity…

THIS S IS SO OOO OO OOOOOO O. OOO OOOOOOOOOOO stupid. I hated that line. Im going to cry. Norgway my delusional insane king . Role model for children around the world. Worlds best brother. i think I have given myself a tension headache

ANOTHER TYPO HELLO?????? Once again I know exactly what happened in the editing process, that was on me for going too quick. Im a dumbass for not noticing until now 

Yeah okayyyyy… I might be a little bit of a bad person for writing this fic. This is so awful, lmao. Cest la vie…

LajglkjsdgjkajksdgjlkalkjdaljKJLkjlsjALKJLGAKSJDGLA I can barely handle this what the ehll man what the hell wha the hell im in distress. I shut my laptop on accident. Yay Emil is being included by his loving considerate older brother figure. This is so evil actually I need to take a walk or SOMETHING.

Emil my beloved king of reading the room incorrectly. He’s just like me frrrrrr

That line sucks. I hated that. Mads would not talk like that wtf. Im going to leave a mean comment on this fic OP needs to know. its WAYYY too late to change it though im just gonna get over it and move on. Sorry for having bad taste last year im a different person now <3

Oh this is so bad. Thats so BADDDDD. im having a GREAT time!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hav u ever um >< been to a pride parade? Girl im going to kill myself this is so much

Im so mean to Mathias. Brainless senseless manwhore with no moral compass. This AU rules

Damn okay bad writing strikes again. This whole section needed another rewrite. I could still fix this. I could make it funnier. I could even describe something for once

AWWW. AWWWWHHHHHHHHHH. Oh my god I adore these guys. i LOVEEEEEE them. Kicking my feet + cartoon hearts circling my head

OH.

OH . OHH. oH NO. AIIEEEEEEEEUUGHGHNNNNSNDNGDNNSGDNSGNSNDNGNSDGNN STOP IT SOPT IT STOP ITTTT AUUGHGH

I don’t want to read this. I know I wrote this horribly. i did NOT expect to run into full on smut already. Jesus h christ … Save meeeeeeee

Ok no sorry this is exactly the kind of reaction I need to desensitize myself to if Im hoping to write an orgy ending. Which uhhh spoilers ofc I am. Its going to build character , for me personally, because I am so so averse to writing porn. We r going to do it. im gonna do it. And right now i gotta read this <- hyping myself up

Um right so. This is really bad and I don’t want to be here. I am not sure how to enjoy this. I want to be enjoying this but I kind of want to jump into a volcano (not sexually).

And its over SORRY FOR BEING DRAMATIC THAT WAS LIKE 3 PARAGRAPHS TOPS. MY GOD. 

Everything I write is cringe to me and porn is like 10x as bad (this is why i needed the liveblog accountability to stay motivated). im sorry for subjecting anyone reading this to my poor self esteem. I will continue to be like this though<3

EMIL REACTIONS. I LOVE REACTIONS. I love the grappling with wtf is going on in this AU. Thats my favorite. The implications. TEE HEE

“Berwald is an only child with “my mom will never get grandchildren” gay guilt, and Timo, also gay, has two sisters—Sápmi (older) and Åland (younger). I’ll edit the previous lore A/N soon.” <- OHHH ok I did say something. Good. I forgot about Åland tho sorry girl. Maybe add fixing that A/N to the list of things I need to edit bcz uhhhhhh

im attempting my fic reread today. im announcing this bc i will be liveblogging to keep my morale up, NOT THAT anyone cares but i personally need this, like ill only commit to do the thing if theres an imaginary audience holding me accountable. & i like to have fun :3

anyway. captains log, its a beautiful sunny july weekend. i just finished my morning coffee, and, i am dreading this so much. i dont like rereading my own writing but i shall get over it. ok here we go.

Þetta Reddast vagueblogged directors commentary edition

Ch 1:

*opens fic and starts convulsing immediately* god i wish i smoked weed rn. i cannot chill out ever for the life of me

My Mission For Today Is: to remember what plot threads I’ve left hanging so I can resolve this story properly. And also try n remember where the flow is going. I have the end plotted out, I just am a little lost … it’s been a while :-(

------------

Abrupt beginning!!!! I’m not mad because I have . I HAD. Almost no writing experience when I started this. it isn’t ideal but I refuse to be one of those fanfic writers that starts rewriting early chapters without finishing the last ones. Ive never seen one of those types actually finish a longfic. …I’d already rather yap than actually read LMAO AHH

Oh this is worse than I remember. thats cool that s great ok alright *coughs up blood*

"20 somethings" WOW I really did not know where I was going with this when I started huh

LKJSDLKSJDLGKGDJSLDGJK ??? Who authorized this. Who let me cook. What the hell

I could write this better now. I could edit this into something beautiful. <- devil on my shoulder

FORGOT I WAS MAKING RICE BRB

"generously offered nothing to the exchange." wait STOPPPP. I’m so funny

GRAMMAR ERROR DETECTED why is there two periods. I’ll be coming back to fix that …………………. :-(((

Fuck. This is a lot. Marge Simpson Hiding Her Face dot Png

Oh this is stupid this is gayyy this is fukcinnn . Who fucking did t his. What was wrong with me,. This is so good actually. what was i ONNNN. 

Im gonna throw up and I don’t know if thats like/. A complimentary thing or if im just cringing that hard . Im feeling emotions. I love my OTPs..OT3~5? I love them so so much

Ok as much as im like “eww bad writing” this is .. dare I say, rly good in places. Not to suck my own dick but maybe all hope isnt lost and imposter syndrome is an illusion

Grammar mistake #2. Goddddddd. they should ban me from the archive for this

EMILLLLL EMIL EMIL EMIL HIIIIII BABYYYY EMILLL I LOVE UUUU AWWHUUGHH everyone clap for my bewoved baby bruvver right FUCKING now

Urghhh gritting my teeth… Im fully expecting the flow of events to start not making any gd sense. There’s no way this came together the way I hoped in my head and .... For real I was never able to read this all the way thru. this is my first time, lol. and it was all disjointed on the authorial end to say the least. Im scared T-T

Jlxjvklsdkjfsjlkdkjlsjklkljzsdkjlgaskljdgjklasljkgdljkasljkdgjklasjlkdgljkaskljdgjakl?????????? 

Im not liking the ratio of dialogue to whatever the other stuff is. scene-setting I guess. prose maybe. i could have dragged this out way longer... By which I mean made it a more satisfying read. But WHATEVER !!!! 

TIMO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIMOOOOOOOOOO NUMERO UNOOOO DO MUNDOOOOOO I really need to utilize him more. As soon as I finish this fic I need to write a Timo POV spinoff where he gets cancelled on furry twitter for proshipping in real life

Hmmmm chapter ending didn’t hit as hard in practice as it did in drafts. Oh well. God damn that was a lot to happen in one chapter LMAOO???

OH SHIT MY RICE IS STILL COOKING —— 

[wizardcommune]

tanjirou kamado sfw alphabet

pairing - tanjirou kamado x demon slayer!reader

warnings - there’s a mention of him proposing in r, so if that makes you uncomfortable make sure to skip it!

word count - 1.6k

a/n - i really like writing for tanjirou since he’s a kin of mine; it makes it a lot easier HAHA

also i apologize it got shorter at the end!!

(requests are appreciated! rules + media i write for are in my pinned post)

a = affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

tanjirou is actually affectionate in every way!! he loves physical affection because it’s the most soothing to him, but he’s always complimenting you or giving you gifts, too. he likes receiving affection the same way, but isn’t disappointed if you don’t. (he understands people show their love in different ways, so it doesn’t hurt him at all! as long as you know how much he appreciates you, he’s fine.)

b = best friend (what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)

it’s likely he met you at the final selection or during one of his missions, and he took a liking to you immediately. you met nezuko by accident, passively pointing out that “there was a demon in his box.” he immediately shielded it, but seeing how you didn’t make any advances calmed him.

as a best friend, he respects you so much!!! seeing you with the others makes him happy too. he’s always doing acts of service to help you, and giving you advice that urokadaki or the hashira gave him!!

c = cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

tanjirou really loves cuddles! (he likes physical affection in general, really.) it makes him feel like you’re both safe.

he’s okay with any position, but he prefers to be able to see your face. he also really likes talking to you while cuddling!

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

he’s great at cooking + cleaning since he helped take care of his siblings! i hc that he’s really good at baking, so he’ll often make random food for you and the others. :)

very very minor spoilers for the end of the manga (it’s the same spoiler as the one in the zenitsu sfw alphabet):

in terms of settling down, his dream was literally just to move in with you and the others, and to actually be able to do that meant so much! 

some day he’d like to have kids, but if you didn’t want any, he’d just hope the others have kids LMAOO

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

ONCE AGAIN IM SKIPPING THIS BC IT MAKES ME SAD

f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

commitment doesn’t scare him, luckily! he honestly really enjoys the idea of getting to be with his partner forever :))))

i think he’d want to get married a few years into the relationship, but he’d hold off until he was absolutely sure they were safe.

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

he’s so gentle ohh my god

even though he knows you’re strong, he’s still very careful with you!

emotionally, he’s the same! he never wants to say anything that could potentially hurt someone. especially since he’s tanjirou; he’s so kind 

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

hugs are his favorite; he hugs you as often as possible!! they’re really comforting as he’ll always rest his head on yours or on your shoulder. he likes rubbing your back, too!

i = i love you (how fast do they say the L-word?)

really fast, actually! it’s not like he’s rushing it, though. he always says ‘i love you’ to his friends and nezuko because he wants them to know he cares about them. so when he started dating you, he still said it!

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?)

honestly? tanjirou doesn’t get jealous. he respects you enough to know you wouldn’t cheat on him, so if he ever sees someone flirting with you he trusts you to tell them you’re taken.

if the person flirting doesn’t let up, however, he’ll get more protective and will them to leave.

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

his kisses are very gentle!! he doesn’t want to overwhelm you in case you want to stop. 

his favorite places to kiss you are your forehead and shoulder!! for the former, it’s always comforting to him when he’s able to cup your face.

his favorite places to be kissed are his neck and nose. it always flusters him HAHA

l = little ones (how are they around children?)

king had five siblings, he’s great with kids. he likes them too! he’s sweet anyways, but he always tries to be like. 10x kinder when he’s with some

he really likes giving kids gifts, too! if he finds a cool gem or something on his travels, he’ll gift that to them :)))

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

since tanjirou always woke up so early when he lived with his family, it’s a habit that stuck with him! staying in bed after he wakes up makes him feel restless, so he’ll normally just kiss your forehead and get up

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

before bed, he always makes tea! it helps him sleep better and he hopes it helps you too. right before you go to sleep, he likes asking about your day or dumb stuff that inosuke did

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

it won’t take to long for him to tell you about his family. he just wants to make sure he can trust you!! he won’t want to talk about it often though, considering how recent they died

it’s a huge compliment when he does, actually! it means he holds you in really high respect

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

this is tanjirou we’re talking about, literally nothing you can do will piss him off. unless you beat up nezuko or something ig??? please don’t do that

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

he works really hard to remember everything! he listens very carefully to you, so it’s not too hard to pick up on things you might like when you mention them in passing

(he’ll normally incorporate those into acts of service, too! if you offhandedly mention not wanting to go get your medicine the next day, you can bet it’ll be left on the table when you wake up)

r = remember (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

the day he proposed! he worked really hard for it to be perfect, and to see it went well makes him go ^^^^^

s = security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

he’s pretty protective, but not to the point of being overbearing! he’s scared of losing more people he cares about fuck you chapter 179

when fighting demons, he would give you space to fight but also keeps an eye on you to make sure nothing happens. 

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

he puts in so much effort. he really wants to make sure you know how much he loves you, so he always puts effort into little things like everyday tasks! like i said in q, he listens to you very carefully which can help him make really nice gifts!

he also makes sure he never forgets something like your birthday or an anniversary, as he knows that it would hurt.

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

NONE HE IS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT AND I WANT HIM TO HAVE A GOOD LIFE

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

pretty much not at all! besides making sure he looks clean, he’s proud of not having self esteem issues in that regard. 

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

in a way? he really doesn’t like the idea of depending so much on someone, especially since if something happened he wouldn’t know what to do. he has nezuko and the others, so if something were to happen to you he would be able to heal. (it doesn’t mean it would hurt any less, however.)

x = xtra (a random headcanon for them.)

he loves singing! i know that it’s canon he’s a shitty singer, but shhh he’s good at it

he definitely used to sing his siblings to sleep, so if you ask him to he won’t hesitate :((( crying

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

he would really want a respectful s/o. it means a lot and it helps take some stress of his shoulders when he knows he doesn’t have to constantly correct you like inosuke LMAO

z = zzz (what are some sleep habits of theirs?)

if he’s not cuddling you, he really likes holding your hand when you sleep!!! it’s makes him feel really comfortable. 

when he’s on missions, he’s a vv light sleeper, but whenever he’s with you somewhere safe he sleeps a lot better!! 

[hyunjinspark]

When i said that you never fail to amaze me, i was NOT kidding. This chapter left me heartbroken, even though you warned us, i still wasnt prepared at all. The part that affected me the most was when felix and y/n had a fight the first time, im not even gonna lie to you, i cried… a lot,, felix is my bias and when i imagined him being upset at me my heart shattered into a million pieces. But that just proves how good of a writter you are, i can’t believe you manage to make me feel so many emotions, i think this is my first time crying while reading, but definitely not my last bcz when they had another fight in the chocolate factory i stared sobbing even harder😭 i love felix and i can understand that he might feel jealous?? But he is so inconsiderate of y/n’s feelings, i hope he’ll realize that soon ☹️ i dont want their friendship to end there, they were so perfect for eachother☹️

Ahh and yeonjun, i am literally in love with him. Hes such a good listener and he gives good advice, and the fact that he still loves his old friends even after they started ignoring him. And to be completely honest, i dont dislike hana because she is trying to get between y/n and hyun, or because of the way she treats y/n, but because of the fact that she decided to hurt not only yeonjun but also everyone around her. Yeonjun did nothing wrong, he just wanted to do what was best for him and hana should’ve understood that. I can understand why she broke up with him because long distance relationships aren’t the best, but why’d she have to ruin his friendship with the others too:( They obviously miss him a lot, or at least y/n does.

Ohh and i was so glad to hear from seungmin again, hes so cute i love his character a lot!! And the call with chan oh my god… at least now we know that hyun feels something for y/n (as if it wasn’t already obvious lmao) And i cant even imagine the way y/n would react when he tells her about the "friendly" date he prepared, he thinks she’ll hate it when in reality she’s been dying to do this with someone for so long :((

Woah i feel like I’m gonna start sobbing again everything about slwy is so perfect and you actually thought we’d hate this?? It only gets better and better 😭😭 i love you jade (please don’t break my heart again though)

-🐳

so late to this, it should be a crime, but here 😙 oh im so sorry for making you cry, felix is your bias ??? ahh dont hate me hahahah. i know his character isnt at his best right now, and im sorry about that :(

yeonjun is such a great listener indeed, and hana’s decision to cut him off from the group is unfortunate and mean, because he lost many friendships for no reason, along with the girl he loved.

ah thank you for liking seungmin’s character ! hes not in it too much, but i love writing his parts. ah you’re so cute, dont cry :( thank you for loving slwy, and i love you too !!! if you read part 10… then maybe i did break your heart again so im sorry again ! 😭

[farty-city]

inside bo burnham review no one asked for

i enjoy other peoples commentary and i was writing down my first thoughts anyway so here it is

inside

first song/intro song

i like the phone screen on him, very reflective of how we have had phone screens on us

“roberts been a little depressed” osnskjdnfs

they were right “daddys made you some content so open wide” hjbfafn

intro

oh my god he looks awful

but like in a cute way

maybe

healing the world with comedy (second song)

the canned and queued laugher no exactly… is it a symbol or is it just funny.. who's to say. 

it think its a good first song, establishing he knows what he is doing is kind of useless 

“the indescribable power of your comedy”

he looks like marc maron rn

i like the synthed voice and synthesizer

the jesus allusion … yeah

“i'm a special kind of white guy”

this feels like he knows how he is perceived by fans.. Make happy was too much

his fucking dancing fksjdnfksj

i think he did a good job looking manic

the lasers lmao

Side 1

Bo made a huge gamble releasing this like,,, what if you just stumbled upon it and this was ur first introduction to him..

I bet its like when i comment dumb things on instagram comments and get that rush of hehehehe

NO NOT BO DEVELOPING BILLIE EILLISH VOWELS

Also this is exactly what he wanted like,, he just wanted to make his things and not deal with the crowds so..

To think i was like finding scraps of him performing at largo and stuff and now,, so much content

life imitates art

the way he's literally what he wrote hgbkdf

there is no authenticity with cameras

suicide ?

 facetime with my mom tonight

the blue light.. Yeah

o hblue like sad

i don't know how i feel about the electric music but i guess its no different than whatever else i listen to

this is sad wow

still catchy etc

side 2

i wonder if here will be any fart jokes

that is how the world works (songs)

the huge mess and then him in a sweater

this is reminiscent of that walmart muppets

he became tim minchin with a sock puppet

the “yes… yes sir” stoppp 

jkgdsnfijwkensfosnf

qbejfnjne

nerjgnoejns

bo making a political statement and a metaphor for activism and then making it weirdly kinky

brand consultant (bit)

man bun

i have to believe he filmed it with the beard because quarantine vibes and also bc he was tired of being seen as a child

white womans instagram (song)

i did not like that intro

BO AND GLASSES THANK GOD

the daisies wow just wow

underwear

“white womans instagram” or “bo burnham becomes a girlboss”

i like that he didn't lose his cadence like the way the rhymes are you can still tell its him

i don't get the mom part sorry

is it like how people are very superficial but also very personal on their instagrams

this part was legit sad

side 3

i wonder how he felt with cameras constantly on him

Although this is the point hes trying to make

lol seinfeld moment (bit)

unpaid intern (bit and song)

“barely people somehow legal” was so smooth woW

omg he was scatting

he was a man who would scat

oh my god what great news

the react clip omg

i cant believe he did that oh my god

observation/critisism and response to the “can anyone shut the fuck up” 

and as i realized what he was doing he was like “i have this need for everything i make to have a deeper meaning” oh my god

now the question is how long will this go on?

jeffrey bezos (song)

idk its catchy

and then theres him like sleeping and talking which kind of is part of the jeff bezos song

bug eyes salamanders hehe

sexting (song)

i do believe this is just a silly song 

the earrings tho omg

sounds like post malone hbkjdsnfskj

idk its still about like intimacy in quarantine and that stuff..

the knife (bit)

i know hes copying like other youtubers but like,,, what

stuck in a room (song)

the intro is very funny and relatable

classic bo i love it 

i will say this special has been more reflective but i suppose it has to be

“look whos inside again”

i like the end too, this is all a fabrication

this is the clip where hes staring at the projection of himself from his old youtube videos which is sort of more like an ending to the “stuck in my room” song

 sorry (song)

i love the 80’s style music and its like zumba

oh this is like an apology song

“father please forgive me for i did not realise what i did, or that id live to regret it” what a catchy line

i would say this is another more “classic” bo song where its self aware and funny

“my closet it chalk full of stuff that is vaguely shitty” 

camera falling

this deserves its own bullet because its silly

i'm turning 30 (bit and song)

i remember him talking about this on a podcast and like,, damn i didn't know this also happened LOL

i really like how he did the lighting 

“stupid fucking ugly boring children”

suicide talk (1)

this is interesting i like the use of the projection

this is something that could never have happened onstage

just like with the it being projected on him

i guess it could but it would have to be done differently and probably hed have to make it funnier to make it more engaging

intermission

i just checked this is about the halfway point.. Mh

i don't wanna know (song)

“i thought it’d be over by now”

i wish this was longer but i kind of like how its just a little snippet and then the cut

video game (bit)

“i guess i’ll cry again”

“is the dude big or is the room small” lol

hm depression

 feelin like shit (song)

ohh the lighting is fun again

this is the tone shift i suppose

the feels like supalonely and the new kind of music

atl

:(

panic attack 

everything all of the time (song)

feels like brandon rogers 

i enjoy this

this feels like “welcome to youtube” grew up

“a little bit of everything all of the time”

“apathys a tragedy and boredoms a crime”

ok olivia rodrigo

finishing the special (bit)

these feel like diary entries but as standup

interesting choice

jeffery bezos (2)

Why the seaweed suit

Where did he get that

the digital space (bit)

suit up, gather what is needed, and return to the surface

damn

pirate map anfdkjfnskjd

this was so stupid (affectonate)

that funny feeling (song)

the campfire vibes 

kenny loggins

i don't get it..

is it about childhood, is it about the present?

i think its talking about the end of content? 

“the end of culture”, to quote make happy

change and not liking it 

“we were overdue, but it will be over soon”

if the second half of the special is like a panic attack this song is like a momentary pause before it gets worse

“so ive been working on this special”/breakdown 

this was .. uncomfortable and genuine which i'm sure is why he kept it

all eyes on me (song/rant)

another sad thing to watch.. damn

me trying to tell if the audio was from make happy

i think he was trying to make it as if the audio was from make happy 

this feels.. familiar

and obviously that is the point

“come on in the waters fine”

the use of autotune during the talking part... yeah

sad that he was gonna make another special… and it would have been totally different than this

i’ve decided i like the homage to make happy

It feels like hes made peace with it

the montage of him waking up and the “i think i'm done”

and then of course the ending where he's watching it over to remind us that its all fabricated

possible ending song/ “i promise to never go outside again”

ngl he looks good in the shirt with the haircut hehe

which i feel like is what he wants up to notice

and then like not think after we saw all his breakdowns

“i want to hear you tell a joke when no ones laughing in the background”

i really like the medley

Final thoughts

I want a blooper reel, but this doesn't seem like the kind of special

I also wonder if the songs will be on like apple music, but again, doesn't seem like the kind of special

I'm happy for him, he got to be honest and open and show us the sort of panicky stuff

this self aware comedy is exactly the stuff that i think will be making a comeback in the next decade.  John better be pulling up with more deconstructed comedy. 

I hope this has given him peace

[maldito-arbol]

SHDHHRHENS OKAY OKAY UUMMM

The part at the starT about red,,, oh god they have all gone through so much holy shit 😭 Anne,,, what was She gonna say Mal?? WHAT WAS IT? Omg all the stuff with the gems 👀 tbh I needed more of all three of the gems interacting in my life, what They need to do to converge is shhebebbsjejks SASHA AND THE PLANTERS, SASHA AND SPRIG, SASHA AND POLLY, SASHA AND HOP POP, I love them so much holy shit holy fuck “He’s so small. She’d known it before, but where small had once meant weak and insignificant, now she recognizes it also means young, too young to experience this kind of pain, to see his sister bleeding and dying before him when only a day ago she was holding him securely in her arms.” THIS LINE >>>> I love it but also ohmygod the angst Sprig, Polly and Hop Pop falling asleep on Sasha 💖💖💖 “Did She suffer” MAL,,,, why must you do this to me Sasha is the new queen,,, whatthefuck /pos Beatrix is an asshole (Affectionate) Grime being the best dad <3 Sasha is absolutely getting her ass kicked lmao Strength,, tbh I feel like its was royalty in a past vessel (Maybe froog? obv not king/queen status but close to it in some way) Yeaaa ivy and Sasha!! I love them <3 Strength with the speech,, it is def iffy Tbh I love this whole part with grime and Sasha,, it’s >>>>> Strength Is also an asshole (affectionate) WOO ANNES KINDA OKAY YEAH Heh Witney My beloved Tbh I wasn’t sure if you were going with 13 or 15/16 in this fic so that clears up stuff (although it could have been mentioned in one of the other 2 fics but my memory ain’t the best lol) Sashha and Marcy saying goodbye to Anne ughhrghh my emotions The fluff of sasha and Marcy going to bed >>>> I love it sm the crown,,,,, yeah, THAT ENDING THO, WHATS GOING ON WITH STRENGTH

overall a very good start to CMTO Also I’m wondering how many words this chapter was? I read it in like 34 mins-ish so I want to know how many words I read

Nothing like the color of blood <3

Oh myyyy what :) was :) Anne :) gonna :) say :) *checks notes* mother of god that doesn’t get answered for a while—

GEM INTERACTIONS WE LOVE TO SEE THEM ohh I HAVE to do more of these I have so much fun with them

SASHA AND THE PLANTARS WERE THE ONES MAKING ME CRY WHEN I WROTE THIS CHAPTER IM BLAMING THEM FOR EVERYTHING

Crowning Sasha Queen was SUCH a terrible decision on everyone’s part oh my god save this poor child— and BEATRIX. Beatrix my beloved 💜💜💜💜 SO excited to write her character going forward my god

Strength….oh Strength. It’s got some rather interesting experience that I can’t tell you about but it does have to do with the Froog :3

YEP ANNE’S FINE!! She’s a little Asleep at the moment unfortunately but she is Not Dead! Hold onto ur socks cause we’re gonna talk about her more in chap 3 👀

And OH, right, this is literally bc of the fact that they’re 13 in canon. I totally understand ppl wanting to headcanon them as older bc Braly wanted them to be older but AT THE SAME TIME it’s really fun calling attention to the fact that they’re so young when they’re being put through so much trauma :))) like I said before, I too was going through life-altering self-destruction arcs within the span of a week when I was 13 <3 I did mention it a few times before I’m pretty sure—the only example i can think of off the top of my head was in IBYBF chap 6 when the Toad Lords tried giving Sasha beer and Grime was like nOpe

Ain’t a mal fic if I don’t make u suffer over the girls watching the others suffer :)

The crown. Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Meeeeeee (no it’s literally so unsettling to me the mere fact that it’s. Sasha’s trophy. And that it belonged to Andrias. *shudders*)

I wonder what’s going on with Strength….. :))

This chapter was a little over 16k words so—WOW ur fast,,,,,

THANK YOUUUU FOR READING AND FOR YOUR ASK 💜💜💜

[shiningloki]

ohh ok.. lmao thank u for filling me in, bee !! 😅💕

and hehe i just want to say something too, if it's okay..

GUYS !! AS READERS, WE SHOULD KNOW FIRSTHAND THAT WHAT. WE. READ. AREN'T. THE. WRITERS'. RESPONSIBILITY. IT'S NOT THEIR RESPONSIBILITY--never was. WE ARE THE ONES THAT CHOOSE TO OPEN AND READ THESE AMAZING FICS. THAT'S WHY MOST WRITERS PUT WARNINGS !! AND IF THEY DONT AND YOU "ACCIDENTALLY" READ THE WHOLE THING, DON'T BE MAD AT THEM LMAO. THAT'S LITERALLY SO CHILDISH PLS. IT'S LIKE IF YOU WERE PLAYING INSIDE YOUR HOUSE AND THEN YOU BROKE A VASE AND THEN U JUST DECIDED TO BECOME ANGRY AT THE PERSON WHO PUT THE VASE THERE. like bruhh 🙄

IF YOU STUMBLE UPON A WORK OF AN ARTIST THAT U DO NOT LIKE--for whatever reasons, THEN LEAVE IT ALONE. DON'T BE MAD AT THEM. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU PAID THE WRITER TO WRITE ONLY FOR A SPECIFIC SUBJECT. REMEMBER, THAT THESE TALENTED WRITERS DO THIS BC THEY WANT TO. OR MAYBE THEY'RE JUST KIND ENOUGH TO HEED YOUR REQUESTS AND TAKE THEM INTO CONSIDERATION W THEIR WRITING. SO WHEN THEY CHOOSE TO WRITE SOMETHING THAT US, READERS LIKE, WE SHOULD FEEL EXTREMELY LUCKY BC THEY COULD'VE CHOSEN NOT TO WRITE ABT THAT THEME/SUBJECT BUT THEY DID. AND IF THEY DIDN'T, DON'T FCKING ABUSE THEM. JUST RESPECT THEIR DECISION--and idk, maybe be at least a little bit happy for them that they're writing whatever they want to write?????

What we read are not their responsibility. WE are not their responsibility. And our favored characters/topics/settings/scenarios/etc, are not their obligation to write. Don't abuse Bee or any other writers when they don't make it about you and the subject that you wanted because newsflash, you're not the sun and the world does not revolve around you. Ugh! Entitled much? 🙄

As with Bee, you are literally one of the most amazing writers I have luckily found on ao3! And a writer i'm so incredibly thankful for to be mentioned by some of my internet friends. You're so very talented and just pure wonderful!!!! You're writing skills are god-tier! And when I got into Tumblr for the first time a few months ago, you're one of the accounts I immediately looked for and followed! I don't have any other advice in regards to these stupid hateful anons but to ignore them. (im bad w advices im sorry idk sksksmk) anw, i love you so much, i hope ur doing healthy and amazing w your personal life. I've said this before and I'm gonna say it again: WRITE WHAT YOU WANT. YOU DO YOU !! 💕💕

----imso sorryy this is so long oof; also sorry for the grammar lol english is not my first language

This!! You really went off omg I love it!! Thank you so much for having my back and for supporting me, it means so much to me. You are so kind and goodness, you’ve put a blush on my face! Thank you so much for standing up for me and for such lovely and generous words!! I’m so happy you enjoy my writing and thank you again for this!! And hey, never apologize for your English, it’s fantastic!! 💕

[sebchalex]

writing tag!

aaa thank you so much @blesshimvettel for tagging me!! 💚💚💚 the questions were so fun to answer :D

Answer those questions while being as honest as possible, you can skip a question if it’s really too hard for you to answer, then tag three people to answer this list as well! :)

Which of your fics you wish had more kudos/comments/bookmarks? 

HMMM... If I was completely honest then every one of them jsjsjs. On the top of my head it’s probably my newest one, Schadenfraude, because I did do a lot of research for it. (And by research I meant rereading the whole Aussie Grit and highlighting every time Mark explains how much he hated Seb lmao.)

How to Start A Farm When You’re A Racing Driver is also a nominee for this! 

Which of your fics do you feel is overrated? 

Man, this question is SO HARD. I.... I guess it’s running in the shadows ?? 😧 I wrote it in like one sitting back then when I was in a special mood jndjfkn. Now when I visit it again I’m just like... my god LMAO (*ﾟーﾟ*)

Mostly I think it’s just how I feel about my works in general though, and I’m trying to work on that jsjsjs

What is the fic that took you the most time to write?

keep a place for me! Not only was the pairing rarer than diamonds so I had to make up most of the stuff, but it’s also the only multichapter I did without planning.

For a one-shot, it’s blazing my tirade. From the first draft to publishing took me 4 months, although I did take a break for a few months in-between.

What do you think is the best fic you ever wrote (until today)? 

I like to think that every fic I write is better than the last one! So Schadenfraude.

What do you think is the worst fic you ever wrote (until today)? 

Oofft... it’s gotta be a self insert x Roman Sionis fic I made after watching BOPATFEOOHQ lmaoooo. But it’s my trash and I love it 😋

What is the saddest thing that happened to you related to a fic (may it be success, a draft that erased itself and so on…)? 

This isn’t really sad, but sometimes I write a fic and I put it out there but the feedback doesn’t quite reach my expectations. I try to not measure my worth as a writer from external reception, but yeah, it’s hard.

What is/are the comment(s) you received that you can never forget even now (negative and positive)?

Ohh I love every comment that quotes back the fic to me or just tell me how they feel after reading it in general. I remember one of my favourite authors doing this and I was on the moon 🥺 Sometimes people also make observations about a section that you didn’t even realize could be interpreted that way, which is so cool! It makes writing and publishing your works all the more worthwhile imo.

A fic you’d dream to write even if you know it wouldn’t get much readers/feedback? 

Sebchal slowburn kidfic... it has actually seen some growth since the last time I answered another question with the same answer, but yea, it’s probably going to be mostly tropey crack when I finish it jsjsjs.

Also, a Mad Men AU probably? It’s my fave show!

Coming back to the last question, did the fact that a fic wouldn’t get many readers (rare ship/different dynamic and so on) already stopped you from writing it?

Hmm, not really? I mean I did once open the Ilott/Albon tag with taking chances LMAO. So not stopped, but definitely at times it could be dispiriting.

Which of your fics represent you the best?

I think hopefully, one day you will love me back probably represents my humor best! I also put a bit of me on every characters I write, so every fic I write has a little piece of me in there 😁

What is your main source of ideas?

Canon stuff, interviews, romcoms, songs, and exchanging ideas and brainrots with friends jsjsjsj.

Is there an author that inspired you?

Gosh there are so many from different fandoms. gemjam, museaway, FabulaRasa, Mithen... those are the ones on the top of my head, there are a lot honestly.

Is there a fic you wish people to read, because it left a big impression on you?.

*cracks knuckles* me and my ## pages of ao3 history’s time to shine 😍 here are some few fics I rarely see people talk about, so:

Antartica Pierlex: [2310] [Antarctic Adventure AU] A place further than the universe by mandzilkos

Mark comes back to RBR after retirement to help out Seb: The Edge of Glory by gemjam

TIME LOOP SEBMARK (SAD): We Are All Made Of Stars by gemjam

Jenson screws everyone as the result of the EU referendum (I know, it’s wonderful):  you can't just give it away/like it means nothing by orphan_account

The early ‘10s RBR team as a dysfunctional family (glorious): Where The Heart Is by gemjam

Also this isn’t F1, but The Joy Series by mystivy is a recent read that left its mark on me. I think you can read it blind without any canon knowledge.

What is your favourite topic to read? And to write?

HUMOR, domesticity, established relationship, PWF, character study!

What motivated you to make your works public?

Ummm the need for internet points obv 😜🤣 nah but I’ve been publishing stuff since I was like 12, even though sadly most of them are deleted now :( (megatip: don’t ever delete your works no matter how cringe you were. Cringing at your old works is a sign of growth <3)

A word you’d like to say to people who pass by / who follow you / who read your fics?

Thank you so much!! All your words mean the world to me, and honestly words can never express my thanks to you all 🥺💚

tagging @whatdidwejustdo @meova101 @leqclerc  and whoever else want to do this! (if you’ve done this/don’t feel like doing it, feel free to skip!)

[whootwhoot]

»»—— 𝘛𝘛𝘛𝘊 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 2: "𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘴" ——««

Akaashi Keiji x Fem! Reader

author’s notes: holy shit im so sorry for the not posting in such a long time ;-; i had stuff i needed to clean up + i was lazy- anyways this is the second chapter for my first long fic “Third Times The Charm” sorry for the delay ^^ compared to the previous one this one involves more conversations since im not good at writing movements lmAO enjoy uwu

☕ synopsis: Iwaizumi Y/n, a student who goes to Aoba Johsai as well as the second year manager for the school’s male volleyball team. What happens when she sets eyes on the cute setter from Fukurodani?

[ CHAPTER 2 - First texts ] 

“Oh shit.” 

Your phone screen fades to black as you sit there biting your lip. Baffled by how stupid you were, you slam your face into the pillow next to you.

“You had one chance, one chance and you did what? You forgot about it, your stupid brain forgot about it. Are you kidding me?”

You let out a loud groan as you sit back up, the bed sheet wrinkles while you release that breath of air you’ve been holding. Your hands wandered around your phone’s keyboard, too nervous to reply but too anxious not to. 

Akaashi seems like a genuine guy, he doesn’t show off or boast about himself. He’s just always there, the way he smiles when he successfully makes a perfect set, the way his delicate hands toss the ball, his eyes only focusing on you…

“Y/n! Get a grip! What are you even thinking?!” a couple more groans and turns on your bed and you are more awake than before. 

Honestly you never expected a reply from him at all. Sure, the idea of that crossed your mind, maybe more than several times but the thought of it actually happening? There’s no way.  

“It’s like my brain short circuited somehow.” you whisper while sitting up, leaning against the headboard of your mattress. 

Maybe the impression of you from your previous lover affected you more than you want to admit. “You’re annoying.” “Undeserving of love.” “No one can even stand a clingy person like you.” 

Your vision turns blurry as you feel cold tears gently running down your face. You wipe them away, hoping to erase the emotions bubbling up inside of you away too. 

The insecurities you try to push away seem to have formed a wall, a never ending wall that just stacks higher and higher. Just when you thought you have gotten over it, the tiniest shard of the most fragile moment can make you fall back down again.

The creaking sound of your room door makes you jump as your brother peeks his head inside your room. 

“Haji? It’s 2am you, you should be sleeping!” 

“You didn’t close the lights in your room so I thought I’d check up on you.”

“Your eyes look reddish, are you okay?” 

You lift your shoulders in a shrug, Hajime comes into your room and stands right in front of you and folds his arms. 

“Is this the older brother's lecturing time?” you ask while raising your eyebrow

“And for the record, I’m fine. You don’t have to-”

“I think I do.” Hajime stares at you intensely 

“You should've gotten over that jerk ages ago.”

“I know, I know” you release your breath and repeat the sentence he once told you  “The first love cuts the deepest, but not every cut leaves a scar.” 

“And?”

“Well, I don’t know but just… what makes you think I deserve love?”

“Iwaizumi Y/n, you are my sister. No one knows you better than I-”

“DOUBT! THERE’S NO WA-.”

“SHUT UP AND LET ME FINISH.”

You laugh in amusement while Hajime licks his lips as his mouth forms a small smile. 

“Ok but the point is, you’ll find someone who’ll love you as much as you love them eventually. No one in the world is undeserving of love.”

You rest your chin on your palm while eyeing and slyly grinning towards your brother.

“Eww since when have you learned to be so cheesy?” 

“It’s called quality love advice, you should try them sometime.”

“YOU DUMBASS”

He ducks just in time to avoid the pillow you flung at him. 

“Stop yelling or the neighbours are going to hear you!”

He continues to laugh while rushing to the door. He stands at your door and gestures his hand at the light switch.

You grab your blanket and nod your head while laying down, the bed softly creaking causing him to chuckle. Hajime closes the lights and leaves your room quietly.

His warm words hang around  in the cold room as you slowly drift off to sleep. 

“Thanks Haiji-nisan.” 

----

╔═════ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ══════╗

Y/n:

Hello, it’s me  😓

The girl who was randomly texting you last night 

╚═════ ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘ ══════╝

----

No reply

You furiously type on your phone while staring at the screen intensely in hopes that he sees your messages. 

----

╔═════ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ══════╗

Y/n:

I forgot about that photo 😓 😓 , I'm sorry if it seemed weird or uh rude

And uh i just hope that maybe we can get to know each other

Unknown:

Okay.

╚═════ ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘ ══════╝

----

Okaayyy he replied,  so that’s a good sign… right? 

Biting your lips, you place your thumb on the phone to prevent the screen from fading and eventually closing. 

----

╔═════ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ══════╗

Y/n:

Soooooooo I’m Iwaizumi Y/n  😇 😇

Unknown:

Akaashi Keiji.

╚═════ ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘ ══════╝

----

“God damn it, he’s such a conversation killer.” you mumble under your breath 

----

╔═════ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ══════╗

Y/n:

I’m from Aoba Johsai!! 

Akaashi: 

You’re the spikers younger sister? Iwaizumi?

Y/n:

Well duh  😂

Where are you from? 

╚═════ ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘ ══════╝

----

You ran your hand through your hair, cringing at how hard you're trying. 

Maybe you could just tell him, you know like “Hey hot stuff, I think you attracted me with your stunning good looks so I want to date you.” you mock while pointing finger guns at the mirror. 

Just then, the familiar ringtone of your phone notification rings and you scramble to see who it was. 

----

╔═════ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ══════╗

El is best girl:

Heyyyyy, you got the text yet? 

Y/n:

Yeah

El is best girl:

Daaaaaaamn I take it you're disappointed that it wasn't him who appeared on your notification?  😔 😔

Y/n:

NO NO NO OF COURSE NOT 

I love texting you  😘

El is best girl:

Awhh save it lmAO 

Did you text him back?

Y/n:

😤 He’s not giving anything to work with here 

El is best girl: 

Pshhh I mean just ask him how his day was or like 

At least try to keep the conversation going 

Y/n:

I'M TRYING

LIKE  😩

REALLY HARD HERE

El is best girl:

lmAoOOOO

Y/n:

HOLD UP HE JUST TEXTED ME 

╚═════ ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘ ══════╝

----

You hurriedly press into your chat with Akaashi

----

╔═════ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ══════╗

Akaashi:

I’m from Fukurodani.

Y/n:

Isn’t that just a few minutes away from my school 😮 ?

Akaashi:

I think so.

Y/n:

Cool 

Anyways

Um how was your day?

“Akaashi is typing”

╚═════ ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘ ══════╝

----

“I can’t decide if he’s typing really slow or he’s sending a long text…” You decide to place your phone down and doodle on your papers while waiting for his reply. 

----

“Bokuto-san, she asked me how my day went.”

“Don’t reply to her anymore! Let her wait for you to text back, it builds a sense of mystery.” 

Bokuto suggests while winking. 

“Bokuto-san it’s not really nice to leave people on read.”

“Akaashi, I’m the ladies man, listen to me and your love life this time wouldn’t end like the last two.”

Akaashi can’t help but grin at his confident “wingman”, it’s no secret his past relationships were… well not that good, but to ask for Bokuto for help? 

“But-”

“Hey you were the one who asked for help when a girl texted you.” “Plus, didn’t you find her cute too? The short girl manager watched our match at camp.”

“What?”

“You were staring when she wasn’t looking, and after the first time you saw her from the bus you were trying to get to know which school bus it was.”

Akaashi’s jaw almost drops at his friend's observant nature that he didn’t know existed, apparently when it comes to love Bokuto isn’t as… well, dumb, as he seems. He tries to form words to deny Bokuto’s accusation but he can’t seem to find a reason to do so. 

“Also just play hard to get, girls love a challenge.”

“...” “Maybe I’ll wait a little longer before I reply to her.”

---- 

╔═════ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ══════╗

Y/n:

Um Akaashi?  😅

Uh  😅 😅

You know, if you’re not interested in talking to me you could’ve just said so

Akaashi:

Sorry I was busy, I had volleyball practice.

Y/n:

OH I’M SO SORRY 

I didn’t know you have practice on weekends ;-; 

Akaashi:

It’s all right.

Y/n:

Anyways how’s practice^^ was it fun?

Akaashi:

Yeah, it was like usual.

╚═════ ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘ ══════╝

----

“HE’S” “SUCH” “A” “DRY” “TEXTER” “AAAAAAAAAAAA”

You scream inside your head while holding yourself back from banging your head on the table. 

----

╔═════ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ══════╗

Y/n:

Do you think we can maybe, meet up?  👉 👈

Like 

Uh  😶

Akaashi:

Date?

Y/n:

NO NO  😲 

I mean we never met of course not haahahahaha 

Akaashi:

Meeting up just to get to know each other then?

Y/n:

Ah yes that’s it, like a gathering

If you don’t mind 

Akaashi:

I’ll see if I’m available. 

Y/n:

Cool! Is next Sunday fine?

Akaashi:

We’ll see. 

Y/n:

...

╚═════ ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘ ══════╝

----

╔═════ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ══════╗

El is best girl:

Wowww playing hard to get huh 

He sure is a tricky one

Y/n:

I don’t think I like where this is going

El is best girl:

It lowkey kinda ruins the impression you have of him huh 

Ah well 

It’s probably his first time or something

Have a little hope  😔  

Y/n:

Well 

I have one week to prepare 

HAVE FAITH  😍 😍

El is best girl:

Hell yeah 

Any thoughts on where you’re taking him 

If you don’t I mayyyyy have suggestionsssssssss 

AHHAAHAHAHAHA

Y/n:

God damn it El 

We’ll just be talking okay 

I do have a place in mind though

El is best girl:

Go on

Y/n:

You know the ice cream shop? At the street? 

El to is best girl:

Ohh an ice cream shop 

Very intriguing  🥺

Don’t tell me it’s because of that article 

Y/n:

I mean

El is best girl:

LMAO you 

You seriously believe you can tell someone’s personality by their favourite ice cream flavour?

Grow a brain Y/n 

Y/n:

You’re one to talk  🙄 🙄

Anyways I’m off to prepare dinner for tonight

El is best girl:

Owh Iwaizumi-kun teaching you to cook again

Let’s hope you don’t bring the kitchen down with you okay dear

Y/n:

Sometimes I wonder how we’re friends

El is best girl:

Nah it’s simple really

You looooooooove me uwu

Y/n:

Ew

Go away 

El is best girl:

😳 😳 😳

╚═════ ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘ ══════╝

- end of chapter 2 -

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(author’s end notes: i hope yall enjoyed this lmAO its pretty long ^^ anyways im writing their texts from y/n’s POV so the nicknames she gives her contacts might change owo)

[scvrllet]

thank you @coffee--writes and @isolemnlyswearpevensie for the tag!!

which of your fics...

...did you think would get a bigger reaction/audience than it got?

Our Secret Place (Regulus x Reader) and Fairytales (James x Reader). Both of them have some more now but it just took a long time to get there. OSP i finished in two hours so i’m not that bothered by that but I worked on hard on Fairtytales so i was kinda disappointed by that. i think it was just due to the previous fics i wrote for those characters they’d have a bigger reaction

...got a better reaction than you expected?

Unexpected (Tom x Reader) haha ironic really. ohh and also Faking It (Draco x Reader) because 1k+ notes?? and it was short as fuck?! literally how and al my five hargreeves imagines because holy fuck they’re usually 900* notes each. i’m still surprised

...is your funniest?

ig the Reactions To You Being In A Toxic Relationship headcanon? i mean, you can kinda guess why once you read the entire thing. honestly i didn’t even expect it to get so much attention. i was just bored and decided to write it as a joke but then boom

...is your darkest/angstiest?

i had this one Draco x Reader fic called ‘Angel’ which a lot of my followers seemed to really enjoy despite the angst. i deleted it now tho because (even if i did had the proper warnings beforehand) felt as tho it was a little too dark yk? it has dark themes and even if they weren’t described and only heavily mentioned, felt as tho it was too much. Desire (Draco x Reader) was pretty angsty though more bittersweet. All for You as well and has to be one of my favourite angsts pieces

...is your absolute favourite?

Say it Back (Sirius x Reader) became my favourite after I wrote it and posted it. the reaction i got from it also did not disappoint. it was also one of my first longer fics and ik just really proud of it.

...is your least favorite?

all of my old works. ESPECIALLY my old five hargreeves x reader ones which i still don’t understand how have gotten so many notes.

...was the easiest to write?

Desire (Draco x Reader) was easy to write. yes most of my fics were/are short but still. The Inevitable was also pretty easy to write. surprisingly. desire took half an hour to write i think? and the inevitable took an hour maybe two to finsih. not including the next day where i edited it but yeah

...was the hardest to write?

Reminders (Five x Reader) liek don’t get me wrong, i loved it ik the end and the request was just perfect. idk why i couldn’t just bring myself to write for five after a year and procrastinated that request for so long. but seeing the amount of notes it got really did make me feel better

also anything Cedric x Reader. idk why but i just find it hard to write his character properly

...has your favourite line/exchange/paragraph?

OHHH my blurb Hold Me Tight (Fred x Reader):

You’d have to fight through the war before you could finally be at peace with the world and each-other so for now, as you laid in his arms, you snuggled closer to his and smiled when he instinctively pulled you closer. 

If only you knew what fate had in store for the two of you, than maybe, just maybe, would you have held him a little tighter that night. 

the way i love ansgt and especially writing it when it just comes so easy. i love writing where it switches from present to future and they’re like, “if only i did this” or did that or whatever. i love it so much

and another blurb, but Hold Me (Draco x Reader):

“Can you just please hold me?” Draco asked softly. You hadn’t expected to walk into Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom to see Draco hunched over the sink as tears streamed down his face. His sweater vest had been discarded and laid on the floor and usually tame locks were unruly, sticking up in several directions. No one, not even you, have ever seen the Draco Malfoy look so broken before.

i loved writing this so fucking much oh my god. i felt like this was what would’ve happened in Moaning Myrtil’s bathroom if Draco had a s/o during halfblood prince and they were the one to confront him and not Harry. idk i just really liked this line and how it shows him as human and now some emotionless pureblood bitch. let’s also not forget how vulnerable he was

...have you re-read the most?

Too Late (Diego x Reader) lmao who remembers when it was still a series. oh and also Time (Newt x Reader) despite it being short as fuck

...would you recommend to someone reading your work for the first time?

Skinny Love (Sirius x Reader) to give them a taste of the angst they should expect if they follow me or decide to read more of my work. Nervous (Harry x Reader) as well because it’s just some cute fluff

...are you most proud of?

Take A Hint (Sirius x Reader) and Fresh Wounds (Five x Reader)

no pressure, tagging: @teheharrypotter @approved-by-dentists @with1love1anu and anyone else who may want to join in