#ohh boy bring on the angst

[mirohlayo]

MY INTROVERT GIRL | LN4

( being an introvert, you became insecure about it because lando seems to prefer his extrovert friend girl. )

warning : some angst, insecurity, jealousy, fluff and fluff, lando having a soft spot for you 🥹

note : as an introvert, this one is for my others introvert girlies 🫶

word count : 4.9k

!! english not my first language !!

your feet crawl on the floor. you make your way through the crowd, trying to get into the mclaren garage. a wide smile is glued on your lips as you get closer to the place you want to be there.

some mclaren engineers greet you. you smile at them, throwing some "hello" or "how you guys doing ?" and keep walking towards the garage. they all know you as the good and close friend of lando, but what you don't know is that they secretly see you as lando's biggest crush.

because it is actually the truth. of course you are not aware of this, but lando is really in love in with you. and not just a little. the mclaren members are not blind, even the others agree with them : lando is so fucking head over heels for you.

it's just so obvious. the way he always stutters on his words whenever you're talking to him, the way he blushes when you'd look at him, the way he looks at you with just pure affection and adoration.

he truly has a soft spot for you. when you two are together, it's like there is only you in the world. everyone can feel your deep connection and that there is more than friendship in the air. when you both interact together, it just looks like two soulmates who love each other sincerely.

but it seems you and lando are the only one who don't notice it. for you, he was just being friendly. and for him, he was sure you would never love him because you were too perfect to be his girlfriend.

and this really gets on everyone's nerves. like for god damn, when this little game will finally end ? all of your friends want you to be together already, but it seems like you guys are just brats. and it annoys even your families.

the engineers give you playful smiles as you approach the garage. you keep walking and once you're here your eyes immediately laid on your favorite boy out there.

lando.

oh god. he's so perfect. how much you love him is crazy. his cute smile, his blue green eyes, his soft curly hair. you love everything about him and even more his personality. you wish he was yours.

but unfortunately, he's not. and it pains your heart a little more every day. it feels like you will never be his girlfriend. why ? because he acts friendly with you. because he won't get into a relationship with a common girl like you. and mostly, because of the one girl standing right next to him.

your eyes shift on the blonde girl who is laughing with lando. ohh. how you wish you were her. she's truly beautiful and well, perfect. typically lando's type of girl.

ava. it's her name. she's gorgeous, kind, sweet and funny. and plus she gets along with everybody. she's an extrovert person. and you know how lando likes extrovert people. he gets more comfortable with them and he's just more himself around them.

and that's why you became insecure about you. not for your physical appearance, no. but for your introvert side. you are a pure introvert. you don't get along quickly with others like would do ava.

you're shy and timid. you're uncomfortable around crowd and people you don't know. you're kind of bad at socializing and it takes time for you to open yourself to people. you're awkward when someone would bring you into a conversation.

but ava is so the opposite of you. she's not a bit shy. she makes people feel comfortable and she loves socializing. she also likes when people would talk about her. she's not afraid, she's just the moment. and you felt like lando loves that. that lando just loves her.

you keep looking at them. lando is laughing at one of her jokes, and the sparkles in his eyes when he looks at her tighten your poor heart. she pushes him gently, hiding a smile while he imitates a hurt expression.

seeing them like that, you don't even want to say hi to lando. you sigh and take a step back. "jealous much huh ?"

you turn around and meet oscar, his eyes scanning your face. "not even a bit" you reply and try to keep a straight face. "yeah, if only you know that he also feels the same way about you right now" he whispers softly, you almost miss it.

you frown and confusion fills your eyes. "what ?" you try to get an answer. he shakes his head and crosses his arms over his chest, a dumb smile playing over his lips. "nothing. just forget what i said". you can't help but laugh at him. "oh okay. mister wants to play the mysterious" you say and he starts to laugh with you.

you and oscar are good friends. he is like your confident. he knows about your feelings for his teammate driver. you always talk about it only with him because you trust him. but he also knows that lando does have the same feelings for you. and for him it's just funny, the way you're always bringing him back in your conversations while lando is also doing the same with you.

and like that, you start talking with oscar. you also found comfort in him, kind of a safe place, because he's like you. an introvert buddy. he's shy and timid just like you. so you two understand each other well, and you get along perfectly.

that's why when lando sees you laughing tears with oscar in the garage, his heart stopped. and his brain too. he stops listening to the blonde girl next to him, who don't even notice it.

his poor heart pang. his poor heart twists. he's feeling very jealous now. how he looks at you with anger. how he is so annoyed. his favorite girl, his precious crush having fun with his teammate. he don't like that at all.

he knows getting jealous over oscar is not good, because first of all he has lily. but still, he knows how much comfort you find in him. because oscar reminds you of yourself. you're both introvert, you're both acting the same with people.

and he feels like you just prefer oscar's introvert personality than him, with his extrovert one. he knows he can be a very outgoing guy and he also knows how extrovert people sometimes makes you uncomfortable. but he thought it wasn't the same with him.

from the way you were acting like an extrovert girl only with him. the way he was the only one you would talk about anything for hours. the fact you always found him in a very crowded place and would never leave him, sticking to his hand.

yeah, he just thought he was the only extrovert person you liked. but it seems oscar was your number one boy.

you don't know that since you appeared in the garage, all he wanted was to look at you. to leave ava and instead talk to you, keeping all of you just for him. to be sure he's the only boy you would be comfortable with. to make sure you're the only introvert he needs and loves.

a soft touch on his arm come him back to the reality. he knows looking at you and oscar like he's going to kill him is not good at all, so he shifts his gaze because it also hurts him. the blonde girl plunges into his arms and he almost let her fall down.

"are you still listening ?" she says softly with puppy eyes. he sighs and take a step back, letting his arms rest next to his body. "yeah sorry, i was thinking about the race" "oh, it's okay lan".

lan. how he loves this surname, but only when y/n would say it. he don't like hearing it from ava. it doesn't mean he don't like her. of course she's kind, funny and sweet. but that's all. she's not as kind as y/n when she would put others before herself, she's not as adorable as y/n when she would show her shiny smile. she's just not y/n. nobody is like her.

and when ava would call him like that, it's friendly. it's just a common surname for him. but when you would call lando as "lan", oh god. he's getting weak on the knees. the way it perfectly rolls over your tongue, the way you use a soft tone to pronounce it. it makes lando feel lighter, his heart beating way faster. he just loves when you call him like that.

yeah, nobody can deny it. it blinds everyone. and lando knows it damn well. he has a soft spot for you. and only for you.

-

it's almost time. your heart pounds faster and you start to think if it's a good idea or not. your hands sweat as you grab your dress.

you need to prepare yourself. for what ? a party. yeah, a damn party. you genuinely didn't want to attend it, because first of all it's not in your habits. you're not used to stay awake all night and stay with strangers in a room. plus with loud music, even though you play music out loud when you're alone in your house.

but there it's different. your shy introvert side tells you to stay at your house and don't go to that fucking party. but still, a part of you tells you to attend it, because why not ? and plus there will be someone special, someone you actually crave to see.

lando norris of course.

and for nothing in the world you would miss seeing him. so you gather all of your courage and decided to join him and your friends there. it is a party planed by pietra for her birthday.

being close friends with lando, you were able to meet his others friends like his best friend max. you started hanging out with them, and like that you became also friend with max's girlfriend, pietra. she's now one of your best friend. you just literally loves this girl and so does she. so of course just for that, you had to show yourself to her party.

you adjust your white dress and take a look in the mirror. it fits you perfectly, like literally perfectly. you were gorgeous. you're not really the type to wear dresses, top and pants are your way go to. it's pretty rare to catch you in a dress. but when you would wear one, oh god. you're the most beautiful woman to walk on earth.

and white suits you even more. it contrasts well with your skin tone and embellish your hair. it makes your face bright, shining even more than usual. but you are not very sure of your choice. yes, you look very pretty but you need to be sure of that.

you grab your phone and call pietra. only she can tell you if it's okay or not. she picks up the phone and you don't wait a second to put on your camera. "how do i look ? tell me the truth" you ask stressed. she looks shocked. but kind in a good way. really good way. she smiles brightly and let a scream out. "girl you're literally a goddess on earth !! fuck you're too pretty for us"

you laugh and blush a little, relieved you look good. "thanks pietra" she gives you an implicit look and grins at you. "you're going to make someone loose his mind. if you see who i'm talking abo-" "oh please stop girl" you cut her midway and she just laughs, her perfect smile crossing the phone screen. "anyway i need to get things done, see you soon babe"

you wave your hand and give her your best smile before hang up. you look at your reflection. yeah, it is true, you definitely look incredibly beautiful. you just finish quickly to prepare yourself, getting your hair and natural makeup done. and now you're ready to leave your house. to go to the party.

you're still not really in the mood to show up there. yes maybe it will be fun, but the idea of just cancel it and instead stay underneath your warm blanket watching some netflix movies sounds good to you. but no, you can't do that to pietra. you need to go. and you also need to see him.

so after the drive, you thanks the chauffeur and walk towards pietra's villa she rented for tonight. loud music escapes from the place, and you already regret coming here. but it's too late now, you need to go.

you walk inside the living room. a lot of people are already drinking and dancing. even a dj is here doing the show. you find a lot of new faces, but thanks there is still some people you recognize.

you walk further inside and luckily you find pietra talking with some friends. there are lando, max and some quadrant members around her too. your heart skip a beat at the sight of lando.

his slightly unbottoned shirt which contrasts with his tan skin, his chain around his neck and his veiny arms. you can easily run out of air. and his smile. oh he really makes you lose your mind.

you carefully approach the group. "hello guys" you shyly say and everyone shift to look at you. a bunch of pairs of eyes scan you, and you can feel yourself burn under their gazes. but especially from lando's one.

the man he's sure he forgot how to breath and think correctly. he has never been this speechless. your hairstyle, your pretty makeup, your white dress which highlights your perfect body. it's maybe the first time he sees you in a dress, and he can't take enough of it.

he can't take his eyes off you. you're such a beautiful girl to admire. and even more now. he truly wants to keep staring at you all night, but it would make you uncomfortable. so he struggles to not stare. but it seems like he failed at it.

"looks like lando is having too much from the dressed girl" pietra tease him, giving him an implicit smile. you blush, because you actually notice how lando was looking at you. with an intense gaze. the driver don't reply back, instead he acts like he didn't hear anything but still gives you a shy smile.

"it's rare to see you in dresses y/n. but you look very pretty" ria gives you a wink. "thank you" you simply answer, too shy to say anything else. a blonde head suddenly shows up inside the group. she let appears her bright smile that everyone loves and finally stuck her gaze on you.

"huh yeah, she looks good." ava says, a doubted look crossing her eyes. she gives you a fake smile and move to be next to lando.

you know ava don't like you. maybe hate you even. because you're also close with lando. she wants the driver for herself, but it seems the man prefer y/n. and for you it's the opposite. you think lando prefers the extrovert girl.

that's why you distance yourself from lando. or actually it is ava's fault. since some weeks now, she's getting closer with the mclaren driver. always going outside together, always showing up to the races. she's always clung to him.

and because of that you became distant with lando. it's been a while since you have not been alone with him, or talk to him for a bit. you miss those moments. and lando craves them too.

the blonde girl keep searching for lando's attention, but it seems like he was still stuck on y/n. "i'm going to get a drink" you say because you didn't want to stay here anymore. "let me accompany you then" lando quickly reply to you.

he takes his chance. he wants to be alone with you again, to talk to you like weeks before.

you smile and he follows you to the bar. you order a juice, you're not a great fan of alcoholic drinks. soon the barman lends you the glass and you thanks him. "hum... i-i just wanted to say y-you're really really gorgeous" he stutters very hard over his words.

"oh thank you lan. you too, you look very pretty" you reply with burned cheeks. he can't help but blush back too, his heart beating so fast now. oh and you called him lan. he's in heaven now. the way you said it with an affectionate tone, it soften his tiny heart. it grows up even more his soft spot for you.

"i-i thought you weren't going to come" he stutters once again. and you notice it of course. lando always stammers when he'd talk to you. you don't know why. that's the reason you think it's because of being an introvert.

with his others extrovert friends, just like ava, he would talk so easily. he never stammer and he looks always comfortable. but with you it's different. maybe he's awkward around introvert people.

it makes you feel even more insecure. because you also noticed how he would do funny things only with his extrovert friends, especially ava rather than you. like he's having more fun with her and he neglects and refrains from doing certain things with you, that of course he does with the blonde woman. yeah, it makes you feel very insecure.

you almost started to hate yourself, to hate your introvert self.

"yeah, i genuinely didn't want to show up. but it's pietra's birthday, i wasn't going to miss that" you shrug and he simply nods. "actually, i missed talking to you y/n. it's great to see you again" he confesses.

your heart meltdowns. he's literally so caring. "me too lando. i'm glad to spend time with you" you reveal to the boy and you swear you saw him giggles.

"okay everyone listen, we're going to play some games outside so come if you want to take part of it" max's voice in the microphone alerts the crowd.

some people start to walk outside the villa, making their way to the garden. you want to say something to lando, that you don't really want to go outside and prefer to stay inside. but before you could a hand drag lando's one. "lan come with me, let's play a game"

ava. always ava. and before lando can reply back something, she's already bringing him outside. he gives you a sorry look, pain flooding in his eyes, and you just show him a small smile, murmuring a "that's okay go".

you sigh, watching him fade away with the girl you wish you could be.

you drink an another sip. now all you want is to leave the party. it's not great for pietra but you know she'll forgive you. everything is boring now. even the music, you beg for it to stop. a desperate and sad feeling flows through your body.

"come with me outside then". you move your head and cross oscar's eyes. you feel relieved a bit, your confident being here next to you is a very good support now. "for what ? seeing him enjoy his time with her ? no thanks". the driver sigh and put his hand over yours. "please y/n. at least take part of the party, not for him but for your friend pietra. don't let them know you're sad."

you don't know what to reply. you stay silent for a while. and that is when oscar lost it. "okay it's enough. let's have fun together. i don't like seeing you unhappy because of this dumb bratty man"

he drags you outside in the garden. you couldn't do nothing but follow him. you know arguing back wouldn't help either. so you keep staying to his sides.

you see lando and ava together, laughing loudly like there are only them here. like it's just the two of them. you roll your eyes, annoyed. "oh yeah what a great idea oscar" "oh please stop looking at them and instead give me your goddamn attention" he replies back and you know he is a bit angry at you. "okay ´m sorry" you whisper.

and, suddenly, he approaches you. and he starts tickling you. "w-wait oscar what are you doi-" you can't even finish your sentence that you burst into laughter. oscar knows you're very ticklish and he takes advantage of it.

you try to tickle him back, and once you reach his sides he also starts to laugh loudly. "you're gonna regret what you have just done" he says and starts to pursue you.

you run as fast as you can, dodging his attacks. you can't help but laugh like a child, feeling so happy right now. oscar genuinely knows how to cheep you up.

but that of course drives lando's attention on you two. he stops playing his game, leaving ava playing alone now with max and the others. he keeps staring at the both of you, having way more fun than him with the blonde woman.

and jealousy starts to run again in his blood. fuck. how he wants to be oscar right now, how he wants to laugh childishly with you like that. he hates being stuck on ava's side now. he wants to join you. to keep you. maybe to run out of the party and instead spend the night with you like on a date.

he truly wants you.

so he gives up the game and the blonde girl who is calling him back. but he doesn't care. he walk fast towards you. he sees red. once he's at your level he quickly grabs your hand.

"come play games with me y/n" he kind of order you. you frown and let your hand out of his grip, which twist his heart. "no why ? you're having fun with ava" you reply coldly. "yeah but join us. don't look childish by running everywhere with him and inste-" "what did you say ??" you cut him midway.

oscar breathes and sigh. he knows something will happen, but it's for the best. "okay I'll leave the two of you together" he quickly says and in a second he's already left.

"i-i'm sorry, that's not what i meant". lando didn't mean to say that. he was just so jealous of you and oscar that he didn't think about his words. if only you know how bad he wanted to look childish with you, running everywhere in the garden. "oh yeah, don't search for any excuse lando. i was feeling much better when you were playing with ava and abandoning me for her". you coldly throw that at him.

his heart cries of pain. "but i would enjoy much my time with you instead of her" he reveals, and he beg you'd trust him because it is all the truth. but ava shout his name back, and his head automatically turns to look at her. you roll your eyes and start to walk back. "that's what i can see".

you walk inside the villa and guide yourself to the villa's entryway. lando is following you back, trying to grab your hand. "don't go y/n please". he begs you. "no, i'm leaving the party lan".

he sighs and keep following your steps. "okay but then let me drive you back to your house". he proposes this offer to you, and you don't reply. so he takes your silence as a yes.

you find his car and he opens the door for you. he's still a gentleman even in this situation and it makes you feel strangely better. you sit in the car and lando joins you. he puts the contact on and he starts to drive.

the ride is silent. very silent. no one want to talk. or at least nobody knows what to say. you scroll your phone, and lando keep stealing glances at you. he doesn't like when you ignore him. soon the ride is over and you're finally in front of your door house.

you quickly get out of the car and run towards your door, but before locking you up behind lando gently grab your wrist. "for one last time please y/n. listen to me".

you sigh and meet his eyes. you can see him pleading you by just looking at you. his arms suddenly wraps your waist, and he pulls you closer. his hands gently stroke your sides. you feel his breath on your head. "look at me y/n" he softly say.

you lift up your head and oh - you were not expecting seeing the abundant affection flooding in his eyes. "i'm sorry for what i've said earlier. you have to believe me, i really didn't intend to say it". he starts.

"but then why would you stop me from having fun with oscar while ava was there ?" you desperately ask.

"because i wanted to have fun with you too" he says back to back. "but i thought you prefer ava's company" you frown. "not when i can have yours" he smiles.

you look at him confused. what was he trying to say ? you're not getting it. "i don't understand lando. why ? you love ava right ?" you ask, even though you already know his answer. you don't even want to hear it, but it's too late.

"arghh for god damn no !! it's you. i love you. you're the one i fell in love hard with. i fucking love you y/n" he almost shouts it, getting angrier because you didn't get what he was trying to say.

you blink. what ?? does lando truly love you ? or are you dreaming ?

"y-you love me ?" you ask again. "yes, i love you. i'm so head over heels for you and i can't stop myself from loving you". he says with loving eyes.

a shy smile spreads over your face. so you're your crush crush ? you can't believe it. it can't be real. the one you thought you won't have a chance with just confessed his feelings for you.

"but i really thought you loved ava. you were always having fun with her and you got along with her." you murmur softly.

"yes of course i'm good friend with her. but she's not the one that i want. it's you. i want you. and i need you baby" he replies , a shy smile dancing on his lips.

"but why you were doing certain things with only her and not me ? i always felt like that you couldn't love me because i'm an introvert and it seemed like you prefer extrovert girls". you finally reveal what you feel, what you're insecure about.

it pains lando. because you don't value yourself enough while he would do anything to have you as his girlfriend. why would he prefer his extrovert friend girl when you're here, the most perfect and beautiful introvert girl on earth ?

"it's not like that baby. i genuinely know you're introvert and that sometimes there are things that makes you uncomfortable. and i didn't want to make you feel that way. that's why i neglected doing activities with you, because i didn't want to rush and hurry things, i wanted to take time with you and to make sure you're comfortable with me"

your eyes soften as you listen to him. god he's just so perfect, you thought.

"also sometimes i don't know how to react or what to do because i don't want to hurt you. you're so precious to me and i wouldn't forgive me if i ever hurt you". he continues and his hands move to your cheeks, rubbing them gently.

"you know i almost hated myself from being an introvert just because of that" you whisper.

"and i'm so fucking sorry for that, love. i love you the way you are. i fell in love with you because you are an introvert, truly. like it's just the cutest thing ever. i love that side of you and i hope you'll never change it. i don't care about ava and others extrovert girls. because now i have you, my love"

"but i thought you we-"

"can you please stop adding things and instead let me kiss you girl ?" he rolls his eyes ans wait for an answer, a silly smile over his lips.

"yeah you can kiss me" you shyly answer.

he smiles brightly and without thinking he leans in. he presses his lips against yours and delights in the feeling. your lips are so soft, he don't want to stop kissing them. you wrap your arms around him too and pull him closer.

he struggles to pull back, already missing your lips against his. he bumps your noses and let a small laugh out of his mouth. "my introvert girl"

you softly slap him on the arm and he laughs at you. "i love you my shy girl" he says jokingly. you roll your eyes and kiss him on the cheek. "i love you too lando. so so much".

now the mclaren driver is the happiest man alive. and he knows for sure he will take care of his introvert girl, the most perfect woman for him.

[nabitsun]

— SPINE BREAKER shy! choso x fem reader

᭝ synopsis : who knew you just needed good dick from a shy boy to lose that attitude.

᭝ tags : smut & little angst? uni (both in their 20s), reader is kind of a minx but you'll pick that up.. (well, all reader's friends are), oral sex (f), pussyjob, unprotected (pull out game 10/10), uhh sweet choso duh <3

᭝ wc : 11.5 K

᭝ notes : t'was supposed to be a one-scene typa oneshot but got carried away - blame it on choso. (i remixed that shit 4 times)

"shoko.."

"what is it?"

"no need to put these under my nose i've told you, i'm not coming." you slap her hand away gently, she's holding two entries for a random party in town.

"oh but you will." she smiles.

you know you will, you always do.

"c'mon i have two entries? i can't waste them."

"exactly, ask yuki to come with you."

"she also bought two entries, she's already coming with someone else."

you give her a quizzical look,

"i don't know any better, she didn't say."

"she's probably inviting aoi over again, God.. another reason to not come.." you shake your head at the sole thought of the man.

"who's that?" she says, switching up outfits in front of her as she ponders in front of the mirror.

"y'know that meathead eccentric guy who's like, super fan of her,"

"ohh, that one.." she hums in thoughts "mh, i doubt it though. the last time he was here, he didn't leave with that same smug face. if he keeps getting into trouble the way he does, I doubt she'll invite him back."

she's referring to the last time yuki invited aoi to one of these parties, not to sugarcoat anything but he definitely learnt the hard way to not be an arrogant show off.

"i hope not." you mumble

"stop trying to find excuses. you're coming with me, we're gonna have a good time, end of story."

you let out a crude laugh, "let me rephrase. you're gonna have a good time, and i am gonna get bored out of my mind." you can see her roll her eyes, "i don't even see the point of going there."

"because you don't try to have fun."

"if trying to have fun implies rubbing myself on some smelly drunk strangers with shitty ass songs in the background, then yeah i'd rather not try."

"you're no fun, it's not that bad."

"it's not that bad until you reach your fifth drink" you quick back as you cross your arms over your chest as if to withdraw from this endless battle that you know, will defeat you.

"aren't you being a little dramatic, now?" shoko barely looks at you with raised eyebrows. she knows as well as you do that beyond her tolerance limit she's no longer controllable, which is why you've spent many nights taking her home and trying - as best you could - to bring her back safe and sound. she won't admit it though.

you dismiss the (probably) rhetoric question, "since yuki's coming, why do you want me to go so bad?"

"what a silly question." she sighs as if she'd heard a child say the most gullible nonsense, "i like having you around, that is all."

"something is tellin' me you don't wanna end up third wheeling," you sing song.

"shut up.. you're coming anyway." she avoids your stare and lets out a heavy sigh, "you like the blue one?" she twirls the dress on its hanger around and turn over to face you, she tilts her head on the side as if to weight your future answer.

"i like the purple better."

"that's what i was thinking.."

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

being confided in the car with a loquacious shoko didn't help the growing headache you felt in the back of your skull. it had been a tough week.

your exams were approximately in a week and just thinking about it actively made your head hurt even more, and your throat tightened with culpability.

"hey, don't die on me now." shoko glares at you from the side as she's driving to the house. you feel her checking you multiple times.

"i'm fine," you sigh, rubbing your temples in an attempt to soothes the growing pain – that eventually worsened when shoko suddenly hit the brakes, a bit too abruptly to your liking, at a stop sign.

"girl, you either need a good night sleep or some good dick." she clicks her tongue, "look at you," she emphasizes by shaking her head as if the sole sight was too much for her.

"focus on not getting us crashed already."

"i'm serious though, you want some water?"

"no–no, i told you i'm okay." you look ahead of you, resting your head against the headrest for some support ; flashes of cars and traffic lights interacting in the night, "you drive like shit though."

"wow. okay, you'll show me how much of a good driver you are when you'll drive me back tonight, yeah?" she chuckles, taking a second turn on a new avenue.

"having you drunk in the back of the car is a constant fight of trying to not make you throw everything up, of course i have to drive nicely."

you see your friend nodding as she taps her fingers on the steering wheel, apparently at loss of words.

"mhm, thanks?"

you relax back with a content smile, "i prefer that,"

the house is not so far from your respective apartments, also not far from your university, which is around a fifteen minutes drive.

you can't really be mad at shoko for dragging you to those places ; the kind of places where she often ends up with a grain of lucidity to keep her half upright, while all the rest of her cognition makes her look like a psychotic out of an asylum. and even though you're practically always the one driving her back to her place, it doesn't exclude the fact that you need this sometimes.

despite your complaints of not wanting to go with her – for various reasons that you listed prior, but also because of your upcoming exams that are sucking the energy directly out of you – you still kind of look forward to the evening, if you're being honest. it gives you the opportunity to sit back and suspend the course of time for an evening, as ephemeral as it is.

the car stops at a red light as you think back to shoko's words, back in her room.

"yuki still didn't tell you about her special guest ?" you mindlessly ask as you fix your makeup by looking in the mirror of the sunshade, curling your eyelashes with the edge of your index to fix them.

"nope, i might have an idea though.." she pauses, you don't say anything as you wait for her to continue, "you know that guy she hangs out with sometimes? she's not like always with him but i don't think she'd invite anyone else, knowing her.."

"what guy?" you frown, you close the sunshade to look at her.

"uhh, black hair, pale skin, really quiet too. one of those snobs who behaves like termites by staying in their hole, you know. i don't even think i've ever talked to him, or seen him talk for that matter." she squints her eyes to reminisce old memories but the sudden shift of color on the traffic lights makes her focus back on the road.

"like what? a sorta depressed emo boy or something?" you scoff.

she laughs, out of mockery for your credulity it seems, "pretty close. but he's really.. the nerdy type y'know? the type to sit there and not say a word unless spoken to about some stupid nerdy shit, i guess."

"as long as he doesn't talk about fuckin' uni or something like that tonight, i'm good." you sigh at the thought as you close your eyes, clearly ignoring the silent warnings in her eyes.

"oh girl, you're such a fucking minx."

you ignore her offense when you continue your interview, "why would she invite him though? i mean why would he even come?"

"why did you?"

you keep silent.

"exactly," she states, "now keep your curiosity to yourself, you're about to find out."

after a few bends leading to the far end of town, you then remark the students crowding the lawn, stepping everywhere as some of them walk to the entry of the house.

no wonder you had to pay entries to get to some crackhead student party – you understood when you saw the size of the house and how many people there was. you silently hoped there was no one around as they would probably spend one hell of a night.

"not too far, i don't wanna have to carry you fifty meters tonight." you warn as shoko tries to find a good parking spot.

she sends you a hard glare and mumbles something inaudible that almost sounds like an insult. she seems to comply anyways as she parks not to far from the entry.

you were met with fresh air as you stepped outside the car, the extremities of your skin growing cold as well as your bare legs barely warming up with the strides you were taking. it was only eight in the afternoon and yet, you already saw wobbly people trying to walk their way out of the house. the two of you approach the path leading to the house, hearing the music as it gradually intensifies.

"there," shoko throws the car keys to you as you catch them hardly in your hands, "in case i lose them during the evening, you're in charge." you don't say anything, you'll have to drive back home anyways.

the calm atmosphere of an april evening was replaced without much transition as you walked past the open doors. the lights of the traffic lights now seemed far less stimulating in comparison to the sight in front of you. and paradoxically, your headache had disappeared, making you guess it was indeed, shoko's driving.

shoko turned around and took your hand to lead you through the numerous ponds of people hovering the place, talking, singing, dancing or even making out grossly. your steps grew heavier – whether from the combined heat of everyone weighing down on you or the vibrations of the boosted bass – it felt as if you were clearly reaching the pit of hell, both physically and symbolically.

and you could feel that with every steps forward, requiring the unsolicited touch of people brushing past you. the odors coming on play for less than a few seconds to merge with your own scent, just to disappear as soon as it entered past your nostrils. the lights changing from blue to purple to pink or even red, reflecting on the few skin shoko was showing with her slip dress as she was leading the way.

to say you were getting overstimulated was understandable. it was like getting thrown into a pit with only hungry lions to face; and with that dramatic metaphor you noted that the first lion you'd have to fight tonight, was the woman in front of you.

once you both reached what seemed to be the main saloon – though it was hard to decipher with the ton of people and the lack of furniture, beside some occupied couches. you didn't even know who was hosting the party to be fair, it seemed to change every other week like some sort of competition of who's gonna have the privilege to clean the big mess next morning – although you'd guess they probably have someone to do just that.

you were so focused on the environment you didn't even see the golden shadow passing by when a pair of fingers snapped you out of your illusion.

"you look like it's your first time at the zoo."

by the tone and voice you wouldn't even need to turn around. yuki looks at you with crossed arms in a sleeveless black turtleneck and flare jeans with a hint of a smile – out of friendliness or amusement, you didn't know.

"definitely feels like it," you smile back as you reach out to embrace her, which she welcomes.

"i see, shoko brought you here just to be her cab home then hm?" she tilts her head ignoring the way shoko snapped her head in her direction.

"hey don't say that! i wanted her company t–"

she gets interrupted by a loud noise, not seemingly coming from the music but by someone who just seemed to crash down on a wooden coffee table – one of the furniture you had such a hard time to see apparently because some people decided to stand on it. both girls in front of you roll their eyes almost in sync.

"well, looks like the alcohol's kicking in. you're coming with me?" yuki addresses to shoko and you.

"yeah i need to get something, i don't like how aware i am right now." shoko shakes her head in disapproval of the events.

the three of you approach the kitchen, where all the drinks stand upright and ready to use like weapons of war laid out on a table.

you don't venture into drink design, preferring to leave it to shoko or yuki, who apparently know best what they're doing since they're arguing over whether pineapple or cranberry would be more suitable to mix with vodka. once the ingredients are mixed, you all take a sip to mark the start of your evening.

"ew what the–" your body shudder lightly from disgust as you lower your hand over the counter, "tastes like piss seriously.." you whine and look at the wrongdoer.

"told you pineapple was a bad choice." yuki restates, but she's ignored by shoko, who takes the cup from your hand and pours the contents into her own cup.

"fuckin' alcoholic.." you breathe out in amusement.

"i paid for these, might as well make it worth my while." shoko rejoins and it makes you think..

"hey yuki, talking about entries, where's your guest?"

she takes another sip before answering through the music as she leans over, "he told me he wanted to use the bathroom, he went upstairs i think but.." she looks around, ".. i don't see him around, maybe he's stuck in there or something." she shrugs as if it were the most banal piece of information.

you naturally frown at the answer and at her lack of interest as to where her friend might be, so does shoko as she flicks yuki's forehead – earning an annoyed grunt from her victim.

"you can talk about me, you don't even care about your friend."

"he's a dude girl, if he's staying up there there's a reason. i'm sure he's fine," she shrugs once again with round eyes devoid of any remorse.

as they continue to argue mindlessly you sneak your hand on the counter, gliding it across the surface to grab discreetly yuki's cup, probably much tastier with cranberry, and retrieve it back to walk away and leave them to their incessant vindictive promises.

you're sure when you come back they'll still be on their feet – at least you'd like to put this much faith in them – as you rush through agglutinated people to get past the stairs. you don't really know why you're going, maybe you could say he picked your interest ; the thought of a guy like him in the middle of the evening just reminds you of a lamb around a horde of wolves.

you take a couple more sips from your cup and climb the stairs, squeezing past a heated couple making out in the middle of it. you follow down the corridor to find a multitude of doors, and one at the end of it that would be the perfect prototype of the bathroom at the end of a corridor. once you reach it you lean in to rest your ear against the door, trying to gauge potential noises, but nothing.

you smooth your denim skirt down and readjust your purse on your shoulder. you knock once, then twice – over the music you're practically not able to hear your own knocking – until your press your fingers down on the locker slowly, peeking through the door but you're only welcomed with pitch black.

maybe he just got lost among people, or maybe he was one of the ones you saw vomiting their guts out outside – which is less probable, but not impossible. you don't really feel like acting like a detective and exploring every nook and cranny, for fear of also finding yourself in front of people fucking in one of the rooms, so you prefer to turn back on your heels, giving up on the mission you thought would spark up your evening a little bit.

but it doesn't really go as planned actually. as you walk back towards the stairs, you notice a door open ajar, as if to let in a trickle of air, so you don't pay it much attention, but it's only when you start to look away that you see the previously motionless shadow, move.

it's quite honest to think that it's the first effects of the alcohol that are starting to take effect, a blurry vision in addition to poor lighting – results are not promising. you pause in your steps once more, tightening your fingers around your cup as you tilt your head so that you can look through the doorway without acting too much like a voyeur.

that's when you see him. rather tall figure standing up with the major help of big boots, black trousers with a black shirt – or maybe the colors are tainted by the darkness of the room, barely lit up by an amber light. and you do notice the signature buns with a few strands falling on his forehead.

his movements are so ever delicate you're having a hard time to decipher if the stability of your vision is playing tricks on you, or if it's really the slowness of his movements. one of his hands reaches over the shelf, he grabs a book and opens it. so careless.

"didn't know you were also a creep." you open the door without warning, with your cup in a hand and it makes you think that you probably look like some drunken mess barging in a room.

he drops the book on the ground.

"fuck!" his panicked eyes dart to you, pretty purplish eyes, "i'm sorry— shit. i didn't mean to pry." he picks up the book from the ground, bending his knees to grab it softly.

"if anything, i was the one prying." you comment, entering the room. and.. oh? what a sight you're welcomed with. it's a crime to not have seen this man on campus before – or maybe that's his crime to decide to stay inside his room with such a pretty face. his eyebrows are still brought near the center of his forehead, a faint look of worry that doesn't seem to disperse as the seconds pass.

it's also shoko's crime not to have mentioned the few silver jewels adorning his lips and eyebrows, or the charcoal mark layered upon his nose and spread horizontally along the length, covering both cheeks. and maybe there's another crime to add to your list when his tired eyes look away from you, trying to find some sort of distraction, anywhere but on you.

"i wasn't doing anything, i swear." his voice is coated with the sweetest tones though it's deeper than you'd expected – such a contrast with his face.

"careful, there's no better way to appear guilty than with this sentence." and you swear you can see a light frown on his face. you take a couple more steps towards him, he stands still, the book still in his hand as it's closed and tightly wrapped around his fingers.

you reach for the book lazily, and you take good care to not try any brusque movements. it's like you're walking on thin ice and you just start to realize how quieter it got in the room, with the buzzing of music barely heard and a few people chanting way too far.

he doesn't even try to fight it, the book slips past his fingers easily as you grab it, "The Picture Of Dorian Gray". classic. he looks down at you silently, a bit too long as if he's realized something.

"are you planning to come down?"

he shoves his hands in his pockets, shifting part of his weight on one foot in a slightly awkward manner, "i don't really feel like it."

"why is that?" you put the book right in the empty space, where you guess it previously was, squished between the other books.

"i don't really enjoy.. this." he nods to the door.

"what do you enjoy then?"

he runs his tongue over his piercing, wetting his lips and smothering the silver ring with it in the process as he ponders, then locks eyes with you finally.

"not parties at least."

"mhm, i would've guessed."

the room was strangely not that big compared to the house, a very sober room that must have been for guests, at least no personal decorations were visible. you approached the window to watch the racket outside and you found yourself glad to be upstairs at the sight.

"yuki was getting worried though." you know it's not true, but you're trying your best, you really are.

he turns around to face you, still not moving an inch from his initial position though, "oh so you're one of yuki's friend? the one she said would come?"

"it depends on whether she talked about a little pain in the ass or a cheeky cynic."

"she used the term.. « bothersome minx », if i recall."

you chuckle softly and put your cup down on the windowsill, gliding it on the side as you turn to look at him. he eyes you up and down, tapping his fingers along his thighs and you're not sure if you are in good shape due to the previous consumption or if he's just being the analytical man he's known to be.

"what's your name?"

"choso."

"choso.." you introduce yourself as well, he repeats your name just the same, "wanna sneak out?"

"what do you mean? like right now?"

"yeah, why not? i mean you can stay in that room as long as you want but i doubt you'll have much fun." he turns his head to glance at the door lazily, gauging the proposal.

"what are we gonna do?"

"i don't know, we'll see." you shrug with a smile and you're not sure if playing the russian roulette with him is gonna get you anywhere but you're too interested to play it safe.

"hm, i want to be back for yuki though, she's gonna need a ride home."

"you will." you say simply, but choso raises his eyebrows, waiting for more based arguments rather than a simple affirmation. so you continue,

"we can just take the car, drive for a couple of minutes and you'll be back here before you even notice."

there's a few seconds of silence where you both look at each other, expecting an answer. he sighs, lowering his head and you think he's about to decline your invitation but..

"alright, but just for some time."

you can't help but grin widely, you eagerly dig in your purse for the car keys shoko gave you and take quick steps towards the exit. as you wait for him on the doorstep you see him take a few strides, but towards the windowsill where you previously were standing. he grabs the drink you left dismissively, his jacket on the bed, and throws your empty cup in the bin just in the corner of the room as he walks back towards you.

he smiles gently at you and closes the door behind the two of you.

you practically had to fight your way through the crowd waiting for you downstairs. you thought the hardest part would be getting through to the front door, but once outside you found yourself in a quandary as you had to tiptoe to avoid stepping on any garbage, sticky liquids or dead drunks on the lawn.

choso asked you if you were able to take the wheel, you told him yes, of course – you'd only had one drink that had barely shaken you. he insisted on driving anyway.

the place where you had him taken was one of the only ones not too far away that was still open at this hour; and especially one that didn't look like a crowded bar.

a small café-restaurant run by a woman who was far too old to still be on her feet serving until late at night – but she always did it with too much care that you always resigned yourself to going there, even if the prices were higher.

the car ride had been remotely silent, with only a few instructions as to the routes to take and choso asking you if you wanted to put the heat on.

you took your seats on the colorful banquettes, waiting for the woman to come and take your order. the contrast was quite ironic, seeing you and choso dressed for some fancy evening in a place that was very reminiscent of that kind of little retro restaurant in the 50s, with the famous jukebox playing ballads from Elvis Presley, and the endless greasy hot dogs displayed on the counter.

"didn't think you'd follow a stranger blindly,"

he rests his forearms on the table and bring his eyes back on you as they were occupied scanning the place, "you're no real stranger, you're yuki's friend after all."

"oh i'm sure you were the kinda kid to enter some random white van." you say, more to yourself though as you look at the menu briefly. he doesn't say anything in return, and you don't look up either to see if he's looking at you or not.

"tell me choso," his name is like the ring of a bell, his eyes widen just a little, "how come i've never seen you around? you're on campus right?"

"mhm, i guess," he opens his mouth as if to start a sentence but he soon renounces by closing it immediately, he reaches for his nape to massage it, "i guess i don't really hang out around campus."

"majoring in?"

"computer science."

you would have bet your entire fucking fortune on it. you let a smile slip through.

"um, you're friends with gojo satoru too, right?"

the question definitely surprises you, everyone knows who's satoru, and that's not to his advantage as he's more or so known for being one hell of a jerk. you nod and he takes a deep breath, one that speaks volumes.

"i know what he says about me, you know. i just don't want you to think i'm like that." he admits and the sight almost makes you frown, you don't know if it's pity or empathy but you shake the feeling away.

"what do you think he says about you?"

he pauses for a few seconds, he's quick to bring his hands around his ear piercing, fidgeting with them as he relaxes back against the banquette, he finally crosses his arms over his chest.

"they say things that aren't necessarily wrong but aren't totally true either."

when he says they, he's probably referring to shoko, or maybe suguru if you think about it, though he doesn't seem to care about people's business that much.

you'll blame choso's inability to communicate properly for his ambiguous answers and not because he's trying to pull a series of enigma right now.

"mhm, and don't you think i have a mind of my own?"

his eyes almost pop out of their sockets and he once again leans against the table, clearly not settled on how to sit still, "no–no i didn't mean to say that ! i'm sure you do," he says softly, yet still very much alarmed.

you almost regret your choice of words but he's so goddamn sweet it would be a shame not to tease him a little.

"i don't know i just, don't want you to think badly of me." his fingers fidgets with the salt and pepper shaker in front him.

you know you're in no position to talk, you even feel embarrassed if you're being honest, as you were not just about an hour ago making fun of him in the car with shoko – that, he doesn't know.

the old woman comes back to take both your orders and it's as if the bubble you were both in had just burst, bringing you back to the café as the music gradually came back to your senses. choso orders a strawberry milkshake and you take a blueberry.

the way he talks is so sweet, it makes you physically wince, and let's not talk about the way he looks at the old woman like she was cotton candy to the eye. you think it's all an act he's about to drop when she leaves but, even when she returns behind the counter he returns his eyes on you with the same look ; heavy lids – that you don't know if they are the consequence of a long day or if they're always like that – with shades or purple circling them.

"you'll know that the only time I take satoru's opinion into account is when I have to make a choice for lunch. you're okay." you assure.

he nods slowly and you see his face soften at your reassuring words.

"i don't know why you hang out with them." he says and it's so faint you're not even sure if he mumbled to himself or if he actually talked to you.

you tilt your head on the side with a frown, "what do you mean?"

he takes some time to answer, to gather his words or because he's hesitant you don't really know.

"you were always so nice to me," but you're still puzzled so he continues, "back in high school, you weren't hanging out with this kind of people, y'know."

you don't even pay attention to the way he's not so subtly trying to bring your friends down, you readjust yourself in your seat, visibly confused.

"i don't.. i mean, we were in the same class?"

choso shrugs, not really phased to see you don't remember him at all, "you had a lot of friends. plus, i didn't have these two." he points his finger up to show his hair attached in two buns atop of his head as if it could be the sole reason of your memory lapse. silly.

"i like this look on you. you look nice with them." you say as you look at the hairstyle thoroughly. the praise seemed to have gotten to him because you can see a small smile on his lips as he looks around impatiently for the drinks to arrive – or maybe he just needed to lay his eyes somewhere else than on you.

the drinks arrive shortly after, not surprising due to the lack of customers as it's practically just the two of you there. you don't really say anything much, comfortable in the silence you're both in as you grab your order to taste them. you don't really want to continue the conversation about your friends right now, and choso seems to have dropped the idea of it too.

choso watches you as you lean in to wrap the straw around your lips, elbows on the table to support your body on top. he also watches the way the milkshake climbs up the straw to pour into your mouth, away from prying eyes.

"you want some?"

his blurred eyes meet yours.

"huh?"

you smirk, only because you're enjoying the look on his face and you want it to worsen. you straighten up properly, away from that damn straw and focus on choso, who grows a little embarrassed, somehow – you see it, he backs down a little just at the sight.

"i know what you want," you say, almost above a whisper, stirring the straw with painful slowness.

"you just gotta ask."

choso doesn't say anything. he doesn't really know what to say actually as he flicks his eyes between your eyes and your lips. he's panicked, that's one thing anyone could notice if only they had their attention on him.

"you want a taste, right?" you say with such a languid voice he has to look around to see if you're putting on a show for anyone around, in vain of any spectators. choso raises his eyebrows, devoid of any answers.

"my drink, you idiot."

such a fool, his pouding heart slows back down quietly into his chest and it shows by the prior rapid breaths that are replaced by long and painful sighs. and what a disguised curse to be around you. he doesn't even seem to notice the degrading name he got assigned, you're not even sure he's got to hear the short sentence correctly.

"um.. yeah, sure."

you glide the drink forward on the table until it reaches his fingers which firmly wrap around the glass – and if you were from the police you'd suspect it's to hide his shaking fingers. he puts his own lips where yours once were and begins to sip through the straw. he doesn't have to look up to see you watching intently, he can feel it.

"there you go, how is it?"

"s'good." he nods.

the aroma melts on his tongue, almost sugarcoating the strawberry he previously ingested and the sour taste of a little humiliation.

"i wonder what's going on in that little head of yours. you're so analytical with everything."

"you make me feel like I have to be."

a head tilt from you is all he needs to know he has to develop his thoughts.

"be aware of my surroundings."

your answer gets stuck in the back of your throat when you hear the buzzing of your phone in your purse, you dig it out : a call from shoko.

you excuse yourself and choso simply nods, you bring the phone to your ears and you soon regret the movement as dissonant noises come to deafen your drums – urging you to pull your phone away from your ear.

"h-hey!! where.." the sentence is cut by another voice, and maybe some screams, you don't really know. you squint your eyes as you try to decode the semblance of sentences thrown at you, you call shoko but she doesn't seem to be on the line although the call indicates two minutes past.

choso continues to sip on his milkshake and he looks just as confused as you are.

"where r'you–" you don't need to ask her if she's drunk or not, you can hear it through the slurring of her words. you don't answer her question though, you know it will cause more damage than anything to say you'd preferred to leave the party to go sip on some milkshake with a man you're supposed to despise more than anything.

after five minutes of negotiation, you finally find out what shoko wanted - simple curiosity as to where you were, but also a call for help with the disappearance of choso, who was supposedly trapped in the toilet, according to yuki. you promptly hang up and finish your milkshake in a one go.

"she's in trouble?" choso gauges your reaction and imitates you, putting away his own things as he puts his jacket on.

"she's about to be if we don't come pick her up now." you place you purse back on your shoulder as you draw enough of cash to cover the bill and tip, "c'mon, let's go."

choso wasn't so wrong in the end, since you both arrived in time to prevent a tragedy from happening, one more on the list that shoko may not remember - despite the scale of it. you and choso agreed to take back your possessions – in this case yuki and shoko, who seemed to be standing on their own two feet only by some celestial force.

no need to to depict the end of the night, it was always the same when you went out with shoko. though something – or rather someone – during evening had told you it wasn't going to be the same ; that your tranquility was long gone, that you had now committed, whether you'd like it or not apparently, to be a fucking babysitter.

and he was fast with it, he didn't wait a week or so, he didn't even try to make it natural. the day after the party, choso went straight to talk to you, and the boy didn't even care if you were with your group of friends, the same that vehemently talked shit behind his back.

he didn't even try to wipe that smile off of his face, nor to calm the rosy tint on his cheeks that left little room for other interpretations. he didn't even try to cover for you when he gave you change for the milkshake you'd paid for – and God he didn't seem to understand that if you'd paid him it didn't mean you particularly wanted to give him the impression he owed you anything in return.

he also didn't notice that you didn't appreciate his refund, that you would have preferred to send him off, but that under the pressure from satoru and shoko, who were only viciously agreeable to him, you had to accept his exchange with a big smile.

you really didn't know whether his behavior was of the order of undisputed innocence or whether it was a means of publicly humiliating you.

in any case, the incident didn't go away, not with satoru and shoko around the corner, who were both just explaining the situation to suguru in the middle of lunch in the refectory.

"she left yuki and i alone with a bunch of freaks," shoko declares through the clattering sounds of the cantine while pointing her fork on you as she explains the evening, once again.

"you didn't seem to mind when i pulled you away from one that you were trying to dissect open with a knife." you insist, once again.

you stir the fuming food and distribute it homogeneously over your plate to let it cool down, ignoring shoko's words as she continues the story.

"it's kinda funny that you spent the evening with a guy who's a carbon copy of the type you say you hate." suguru intervenes and you sigh at the snarky remark. satoru keeps chewing on his food carelessly, clearly enjoying the roast you're subject to.

you shake your head at the statement, "spending an evening with someone and actually enjoying the time spent is different."

"mhm, clearly if i hadn't called you you'd still be making out with him right now.." shoko mocks and you swear you can see satoru's lips twitch in amusement.

"we just talked !" you half whisper, half scream, letting your food drop into your plate, causing your friends to shush you.

"c'mon just say you like him, we'll still be friends y'know?" you look deadpan at satoru, a look that doesn't require any words.

"i mean everyone knew he had a crush on you in high school, it wouldn't be surprising if it was still the case." suguru shrugs, you don't know if if he's being honest this time or if it's another joke. you choose to believe the latter.

you shake your head and look around the cantine to ease your mind from your shit friends, which doesn't seem to be the thing to do as satoru adds another weight to your already heavy shoulders.

"what? looking for your new pet? homeboy is probably hiddin' in his room right now. i mean, when doesn't he?"

you breathe out tensely, butchering your food with your cutlery as you clearly picture some detailed ways you'd like to treat the man in front of you.

"fucking assholes.."

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

after what happened during the last couple of days you really tried taking measures. good measures. and it was kind of ironic how choso should've been the type to try and dodge any interaction with your friends, but now you were the one trying to sneak past him.

he was nice. you'll give him that.

but he was stupid. so fucking careless. and really naive because he surely did think an evening sipping on milkshake meant something along the lines of "will you marry me?"

anytime he spotted you in between classes he just had to walk in your direction. whether it was just small talk or not, he talked to you every. single. time.

but he was so nice. you couldn't just shove it in his face? could you? despite shoko's encouragement to drop him there's something that just.. didn't feel right. and may God forgive you, but you know this is certainly not the advent of your good morals.

though all of that clingy attitude really pissed you off, you did find yourself thinking about that evening and how Elvis Presley was so annoyingly being repeated in the background. how his eyes, despite their darkness and exhausted features, never ceased to display the most authentically pure emotions you've ever seen.

"i don't know i just, don't want you to think badly of me."

you sigh, heavily. some conflicted parts of you wanted to know more, an evening wasn't enough to just send him off right away, right? who was he? who does he claim to be? and the fact that you don't remember him, no, you can't remember him doesn't help either to your curiosity. because you did search through your yearbooks and to see his face didn't help you bring back lost memories.

shit maybe you just need someone to ring some senses to you but you also don't want shoko nor satoru to do it, as much as you hate to think about it they'll taint your vision more than they'll clear it out. in some ways choso was right ; their judgment might have their part to play in the way you think. in some ways only.

or maybe you're trying to blame your friends for your shitty behavior which only makes you feel ten times worse. you let out a grunt as you get up from your chair, going to the library to study with a clouded mind wasn't a good idea and even more at the end of the day.

failing to have a cigarette you can borrow from shoko right now, you choose to take a walk around campus. it's not the best sight but the air is far more fresh outside.

oh and how ironic was it when your feet led you upstairs to the dorms. it's not like you even planned your itinerary, it was like second nature to you, plus the air definitively felt a lot more breathable.

out of all the rumors you've heard, you knew at least one was true : choso was an orphan ; he stayed in the dorms right above the college structure.

and how absurd that was when you feet planted right outside his doorway – you can say thank you to the floor tenant files that didn't seem to care about the resident's personal information.

the thing missing though is your speech. you didn't have anything in mind. fuck what are you thinking? you're not even sure you'd want to see him at all, despite your evident location. before you could produce another stupid thought your fist met the door to knock twice.

it was about six seconds of wait that felt like half a minute as you just stood there outside. the door opened slightly ajar, and it reminded you of the first time – well not counting high school – that you saw him.

long strands of black hair dangled in front of the doorway before he stepped closer to fill the gap with his width. of course his eyes widened. they always do when they meet yours.

"oh, hey," he quickly looked over his shoulder, behind him and lowered his eyes to take a look at himself.

it was an agreeable sight, you will not deny. his hair were hanging loose at shoulder length, wearing only an oversized white t-shirt (was it oversized or just his actual stature ?) and gray sweatpants. you almost felt like diverting your eyes away as if you were prying on something you shouldn't see.

"hey."

silence.

"are you okay?" he stays still, swiping his tongue inside his lower lip while playing with his ring piercing you presume ; a habit of his you've noticed. you don’t really know if he's asking to be polite or if you genuinely look like you need help.

"mhm," you nod, "can i come in?"

"uhh, yeah" he takes another look behind him and you're starting to think maybe you came at the wrong time. "yeah, of course." he opens the door wider and steps aside, you enter and to your relief nothing crazy's going on.

the room is neatly organized to your surprise, not that you were imagining a slum, but you were expecting something more akin to the prototype of the homebody student. you avoid looking too much everywhere, you didn't come for that anyway.

choso retreats to his desk where he leans against it, his hands on the length of the edge to support his body.

"looks serious eh?" he escapes a small laugh, almost a scoff actually as he scratches his forearm and you suddenly want to leave the room because of how miserable you feel.

"we have to stop this.. thing here." you point to him then yourself.

you almost feel bad for him. almost, because of the way his hand previously on his other arm stops in the previous scratching motion, because of the way he only stares at you for a few solid seconds.

"what do you mean?"

"you know what i mean," you sigh "i don't even know why you suddenly want to talk to me anyway," you shake your head and look down. it's not even something you're blaming him for, you're really wondering why he'd want to talk to someone who plays on both sides with him.

"it's not.. that sudden. i've always wanted to talk to you." he tells you softly, "have i done something wrong?"

he's too nice with you it makes you audibly grunt.

"do you have a crush on me or something?"

silence again. a longer one this time. you didn't really mean to blurt it out like that, you'd envisioned something a little more subtle but frustration got the best of you.

his body shifts, his hands move closer to his body and he crosses his arms over his chest, tapping his biceps with his finger repeatedly. he stays silent.

"it's a yes or no question choso."

he pinches the bridge of his nose just where his mark is and breathes out a small "fuck".

"alright. it's ok if you don't wanna use your words, you certainly don't fail showing it to the whole fucking world anyway."

he takes a step forward rapidly, a single step but big enough to be closer to you nonetheless.

"i'm sorry, shit, i didn't know it would make you so upset. i'm sorry." he apologies. and you don't know if he realizes how upset he looks in the situation, he runs a hand through his hair in distress and you can see how agitated he is.

his face is right above yours, you don't really have to do anything but to look up to meet his panicked eyes. and it's a complete contrast how your eyebrows almost hurt from the frown while his face is contorted in worry.

and you'll blame your beating heart on your irritation and building up anger and definitely not because of his sole proximity. you try to commit to that thought at least.

"you're insufferable you know that?" you hug yourself as you readjust the strap of your purse on your shoulder.

he runs his tongue along the inside of his cheek and looks away for a flitting second before bringing his eyes back on you, or your lips ; he's very indecisive poor boy doesn't know where to look when he has you this close to him.

"i.. i didn't know know how to tell you i'm sorry i just–"

"oh shut up,"

you practically throw yourself on him as it's the only way he'll eventually stop apologizing, one of your hands quickly wrap around his neck, to the base of his nape pulling him closer as your lips crash onto his. choso stumbles back at the contact and his hands reach instinctively on your waist for support, his body hits the desk where he stood prior and he escapes the faintest gasp at the harsh contact.

you wouldn't even have dreamed of doing this – fuck if shoko would come to know about this she'd probably laugh at you. but he's so gentle in his every moves, his every words, so naive about your motives it would be a damn shame if he knew what kind of crap person you really are. if the two of you really had to stop talking like you stated, your only wish would be to at least do this before.

choso's fingers grip more tightly on your waist, his thumb brushing against the fabric of your shirt practically playing with the hem of it. he pulls you closer and parts his lips to kiss you back avidly while your nails dig deeper around his nape at the feeling, before sliding them back along his jaw to orient his head at a better angle. you feel him exhale through his nose as you slow down your pace, slowly detaching your lips from his.

"y'taste good." he whispers against your lips, his forehead is practically touching yours and it's only now that you realize how much his features have changed within seconds. his eyes are blazed, breathless and fingers shaky around your waist. you'll blame the taste of your lips of the cherry gloss you're wearing – and he's wearing too now that his lips are shiny from it.

you're no better though, you swallow as you catch your breath, your heart is pounding in your chest so much you also hear it through the buzzing of your ears, coating the sounds around you.

"yeah? what is it, never kissed before?" you smile, you'll never get tired of teasing him, not when he always gives you the same look.

"not like that," he pants and smile back at you, a little smile that soon turns into a frown, "i.. shit, i wanna make you feel good. can i?" his voice is so low it makes your head spin.

"then do it," you kiss him once slowly and you feel him shudder at the new sensation, "make me feel good." you kiss him twice, even slower this time.

no need to say it twice for choso, if it's not you latching on him right now he definitely doesn't feel like backing down, he takes your answer for words and his hands find your cheeks instantly, cupping them as he puts a lot more pressure, making you step back. your hands lower down on his shoulders and your purse slip down your arm until it reaches the ground harshly ; not your priority number one right now.

he presses his body even closer to you and you don't need an explanatory drawing of what's happening down his pants as you feel his hard on pressed against you. you put your thigh forward, adding your own pressure against him and the moan that escapes his lips is enough to make your skin shiver and your panties tighter. much tighter.

still glued to each other, he guides you to his bed, just behind and it takes a couple steps back for your calves to hit the furniture, your body drops down the bed as you look up at him and you think he's about to slouch his own body on you, but he kneels down right before you instead.

you put your hands on the bed behind you to push yourself farther against the wall but to your – second – surprise he puts his hands flat on your knees.

"i need you right here," he soothes as he taps your knee lightly, making you stop in your movements. you don't know if he's about to do what you think he's about to do but your questions get quickly answered.

"can i?" he asks as he flicks his eyes onto your skirt, asking permission to touch it you guess. you nod eagerly and he leans back slightly to take your mary janes off instead, right foot, then to the left foot so ever carefully and putting them aside on the floor. you watch him and notice how steady and focused he looks despite his torso heaving up and down rapidly, you see it.

he straighten up on his knees and the sight has you gulping down, you're on his bed, he's on the ground just right in front of you, his eyes scan your face thoroughly you almost feel overwhelmed by it. your skirt gets pulled down easily, oh but so slowly, you prop yourself up on your elbows to make it easier for him.

"so pretty." he breathes out, he discards the piece of clothing on the floor and places both of his hands on your hips to bring your body closer to him as he easily glides you.

he leans in and his face is only inches away from your crotch, he glances at you before returning back on your clothed cunt. his thumb circles the hem of your panties as if he's admiring the sewing method and your breath hitches when his thumb drops a little lower, down where you clit hides beneath the fabrics.

"don't have all day, choso" you gulped, your hands bawl into tight fists in apprehension.

"okay–okay." he coos and immediately grant your wish ; he pulls your panties down and you're now bottom naked on his bed. it gives you a real reason to be embarrassed for sure because you didn't really "plan" on being that drenched from a single quick make out session. and the more he stares at your exposed cunt the more you grow impatient.

"choso.." you try to warn him but it comes out as a whine instead. he shifts as he gets closer to the edge of the bed, he wraps his hands under your legs to grab onto your thighs firmly.

"gonna make you feel good ok?"

"jus' do it–" you choke on your own words when you feel his tongue on you. a single lap and you're already panting in the room like a mad woman, "ffuck." you whine and your hand reaches immediately down to get a hold of something – his hair in this case which is being in his vision doesn't stop him nonetheless to complete his mission – as it's the only way you'd call it due to how devoted he looks between your legs.

he gives you a few more laps, down from your entrance to the very top on your clit, and he's diverse in his moves you'll give him that – he goes either way from the right side, then the left side, until he decides to flick his tongue against your pussy from side to side this time. you'd honestly thought the man would go down on you as his first time, his first experiment but it looks like you're the one experimenting for the first time his tongue skills – that, you don't miss to point out.

"shit- where the fuck did you learn to do that?" you pant, you push his hair back the best you can though it still falls atop of your pussy, giving you extra tingles on the way.

the sounds are purely gross, the room is nothing but a space for filth, hearing liquids collides whether it'd be his saliva on you or your slick on him. doesn't help from your restrained moans nor from his own whimpers that resonate lowly against your skin – it's almost as if he's being louder than you are.

he props your legs up onto his own shoulders when he leans down further into your pussy, getting better access while your thighs are in the air, tensing and quivering at each touch.

you start to seriously lose it when you feel pressure on your clit, getting even more stimulated your head starts to feel dizzy ; his thumb brushes against your folds to gather your juices before going up to your clit while his tongue starts to push down your entrance.

he mumbles something but you can't understand either from the pounding in your ears or because he factually has his mouth buried in your cunt.

"you feel so– fuck!" you almost cry out when he accelerates the pace on your clit "so fuckin' good shit," and before you get hold of the situation your muscles contract, your thighs wraps even tighter around choso and you're not really in the mindset to care if you're hurting him right now when you're nothing more than a trembling mess under him.

when you release the grip you have around his head with your legs, he slowly backs down and wipes under his chin with the back of his hand, breathing heavily as if he had just come flooding back from the water after a long dive. the sight has your brain rebooting from the start, simply short circuited.

"t'was okay?"

you almost feel indignation for his own self when you look at him in disbelief, "okay? thought i was losing my mind over there," you slowly sit up as you look at him with heavy lids. you probably look like you got run over.

"want me to get something to–"

he stops once he sees you getting your top over your shoulders, taking it off and throwing on the chair near his desk. you get closer to the edge of the bed, still sit up on it as you cage him between your legs since he's still kneeling on the ground.

"well.. i guess you have other plans..?" he murmurs under his breath, he doesn't even try to hide the fact he's staring, the man is practically glued to you like when kids stand too close to a tv.

"you're a perceptive one aren't you?" you leaned down to slip your fingers under his shirt, near his hips to take it off too, "unless you don't want to?" you whisper, stopping your movements to get his approval before starting anything but oh don't you dare take your hands off of him because he'll put them back on their original place.

"no–no, i do. i want you." his eyes meets yours and it's as if repentance was just knocking at your door and you don't know if you're willing to open the door because of how good he ate your pussy or because you really feel like you should do it.

"good."

you knew choso was introverted, a little shy even, the kind of men to be a little prudish even, the ones who'd rather stay indoors, the ones who's rather not get touched by anybody, even less when those places are under their clothes. you thought he was that kind of man when you'd first met him.

you got fooled. once when he mastered the technique of his tongue on you a few minutes ago that got your jaw dislocating in pleasure. but twice now that his shirt is past his torso, up to get through his head and you see yet another pair of silver jewelry. one on each of his nipples.

and your reaction is suited honestly, you just drop your arms and leave him struggling with the shirt on his own as his head is still tangled inside of it, you swear under your breath as you look at the two shiny buds. and maybe he did it as a distraction, getting two silvery eyes up his breast might be one hell of a surprise when you're trying to look at his whole torso ; but even in that case you wouldn't get why on earth you'd need to be distracted from his upper body, because what a fucking view.

once you see choso's head pop out of his t-shirt you're so turned on you're scared if you move you'll just leave the biggest pond of your slick on his covers ; you're feeling genuinely embarrassed to say the least.

"come here, get on your back." you tap on your left to show him the way on his own bed, he executes your demand without much more convincing. he lays down where his pillow rest, propping his head up a little as he still supports his body on his forearms, watching you.

which is not such a bad thing as it gets his whole upper body tensing up from the position, and you realize you got fooled thrice because of how defined his body is, muscles tracing his skin in the prettiest way.

you crawl closer to him and take his sweatpants off, throwing them along with the other remaining of clothes on the ground.

you straddle choso, only in his boxers now and he's always on the lookout for your next move, eyes traveling along every part of your body standing so close to him. you lean in to kiss him again, a simple kiss this time, not heated, nor passionate as you'd intended earlier, almost too intimate to your liking. you feel him relax under you, no, melt. he melts under your kiss, his back rests totally flat on his bed now and his hands travel along you jaw, touching you like porcelain if it were to break.

"it's only fair i return the favor, right?" you tell him as you lean near his ear, and if you chose to ignore the bulge in his underwear when you got him out off his pants you're certain you can't now. it's entirely poking through the fabrics to lean oh so perfectly against your entrance you have to fight back a moan just at the feeling. how embarrassing.

"fuck, please do." he moans, his hands get back on your hips slowly, pressing his fingers into your skin lightly. though you'd rather take some of your time, if you're in this might as well do it right.

you kiss your way down his body, from his lips, to his jaw, on his neck a few times — just because you love watching his adam's apple bobble up every time he gulps when you touch him — near his collarbones, on his torso and why not on the twins piercings he's got on it too.

at the contact of your tongue swirling around his nipples choso instantly throws his head back on his pillow, earning a deep breath from him along with a "fuckk" he couldn't bite back. at the same time your hips start to grind, slowly, cautiously, you wouldn't want to get off on his boxers now would you?

your hands reach down his boxers, under it to grab his dick but... maybe you got fooled fourth time. or maybe the saying is right, the quietest got the biggest and he's a living proof of the statement, you can attest. you break the contact on his sensitive buds and sit up correctly to look at it lay flat on his stomach, curved and strained in its own blood flow. you really have to close your mouth to not drool on it directly and you mumble something unintelligible.

his hands rest on your thighs, they try to guide you forward, they really do and you let them. you bring your hips forward, pussy gliding – as it's the only way it would be described, you're soaked – on his dick, just slipping through your wet folds, enough to mold him on the way forward, then all the way back when you return to your position. you let your hands fall on his abs, you're not even tired, you just need the support right now or else you're afraid you'll just collapse right onto him.

"God, you feel so good," you whine, grinding slowly along his cock and you honestly don't know how he's handling it down there 'cause it feels too fucking good for you.

"n-need you right now," he painfully gulps, he looks at the friction with a frown and he lowers his head back on the pillow, "shit..." he whimpers, such a wobbly voice yet he's not even inside of you thus far. you don't know who's winning the embarrassing contest but he might win over you if you keep giving him good pussy.

"so sweet. you're too fuckin' sweet y'know that?" you praise and choso's hands come directly to grab at your tits, cupping the roundness of them with both hands as he massages them slowly, pinching your nipple between his index and his thumb.

you're done with being patient actually as it is your cue to wrap your fingers around the head of his cock. you brush your thumb over his tip and his whole body jerks off from the touch, you slide your whole hand down the base of it as you pull yourself up on your knees.

you thought you'd reached the epitome of pleasure when he was between your legs just now, and you don't know what other seventh heaven you landed on when he entered you, but it was just as similar.

the head of his cock has just slipped through and you're already full of it, full of him. and you have no doubt when you look at choso that he's feeling it too. you both moan at the new feeling, a feeling you were too puerile to treat with such disdain when you looked at him, a feeling you'd never come to know if he didn't slightly hurt your ego with his kindness.

"holy shit, so fucking tight f'me.." he purrs through the whole process, his hands help you go down, steadily and slowly at your pace when more than half of his cock has sunk into you. your legs shake slightly when you've reached the end, you start to bounce up and down lazily, hearing every gushing sounds of both of your slick as they disperse through your organs.

he can't help it, you don't know if it's because you've teased him so much pior that he can't hold it in anymore, but the grip on your hips gets tighter, the bouncing up and down his cock gets messier, and even though your thighs start to feel numb you soon understand that choso has your back. his hips starts to buck back into you to meet your hips halfway, skin to skin as they collide rapidly.

"f–fuck, choso, you're gonna make m–"

"i know, i know." he soothes, you lean into him, chest to chest as you put your hands on his shoulders. and you can't help but be extremely grateful right now as you're practically laying down on him, he's fucking right into you with the help of his hands pressing down your hips as he moans in your ears softly.

"wanna make this pretty pussy mine– fuck. wanna make you mine." he whimpers and you can hear the way his throat tightens that he's close. you wouldn't wanna lie saying you're not – to be honest you've been wanting to come as soon as you hoped on his thighs.

you don't know if it's the heat of the moment, because you're taking his dick so fucking perfectly inside of you that the thought of being with him doesn't really repulse you that much, for it actually seems pleasant enough to imagine it.

"fuck–fuck-i'm gonna cum!"

and you sincerely hope nobody is in their dorms right now because you're sure the whole floor knows what their nerdy resident is doing to some resentful student on campus. he's so vocal you wouldn't have it any other way, specially when every each one of his moans reach your cunt before your ears.

you feel your legs tremble and your nails dig deeper into his skin when you reach your second orgasm, and not one for the weak ones as your pussy clenches so tightly you think you're sucking choso's dick whole with the suction. your hips get pulled up on spot when choso releases his own shot in between your bodies, his dick springing out from where it was caged. you still tremble on him when he breathes heavily, coming down to his high.

you both stay silent for a couple of seconds and reality hits you back.

"you're too good to me." he murmurs as he wipes some of the mascara under your eyes with his thumb, you head is still near the crook of his neck, you don't move.

oh only if he knew.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

"can you believe nerdy boy got laid?"

you turn to shoko almost too rapidly, "what?"

"i know, who would do that.."

you don't say anything. you don't really wanna say anything for now, but you know shoko isn't saying that just to make the conversation when she waits for an answer. a valid one.

©nabitsun !

thank you for reading :D

[crxss01]

— Never Felt So Low

pairing ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ 42!miles morales x reader

summary ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ you see miles a month after his dad's funeral.

warnings ✧˖ ° angst, comfort, sad miles, grief, mentions death (obvi), sad tía morales.

m. list, main m. list.

translations ✧࿓☾ mija: dear, bonito: handsome/pretty boy. princesa: princess, gracias, muñeca: thanks, doll.

miles had been distant ever since his dad died, you completely understood him (in a way) and the fact that he wanted to be there for his mother. but you also wanted to be there for him, to be able to give him the comfort that he needed.

since he had made no attempts to contact you, you decided that you were just going to his house with no invitation. you would not only fail yourself if you didn't go but you would also fail him because right now he needs all of the support that he can get.

knocking on the door, you waited until it was answered by rio morales, who you liked to refer to as tía morales. the woman looked a mess, which was understandable, her eyes were bloodshot and she had dark bags under them, her nose was red, her hands were shaking and her bottom lip was quivering.

"ohh... tía morales." you walked in, pulling the older woman into a hug.

she held you close and tightly, not tight enough to the point that it was uncomfortable but to the point where you felt the pressure, tía morales did not start to cry instead choosing to just enjoy the comfort you were offering.

you let her hug you for however long she wanted. a couple of seconds or minutes later, you lost track of time, she started to pull away slowly.

"i missed you, mija." she told you, her hands cupping your cheeks and her thumb gently caressing one of them.

"i missed you too, tía." and it was true, the woman was pretty much a mother figure to you.

"go check on our boy, i'm starting to get so worried about him." she shook her head, holding back tears. "he's been suppressing his emotions."

you nodded. "alright, i'll try to help him."

tía morales pointed at his bedroom and you walked to the door, stopping right in front of it and lifting your arm to knock.

“ma, i already told you that i don’t wanna eat anything right now.”

“it’s me, bonito.” you called out softly. “can i come in?”

there was a minute of silence and you were scared that he was about to tell you to leave when he finally spoke. “yes, come in.”

so you did. the moment you saw him sitting down on his bed, head thrown back and staring at the ceiling you felt relieved to see that he was at least looking healthy so far.

“miles…”

your previous thought changed when he turned his head to look at you and your heart broke this time. he looked pale and so tired, you wanted nothing more than to bring back the rich color of his skin and to make the happy look return to his tired eyes.

“hey..” he said with no emotion whatsoever, even his voice had a rough edge to it that you didn’t notice while you were outside his door.

“hey, bonito.” you walked closer to him and sat beside him on the bed, taking his hand in yours.

“i’m sorry, it’s been a while.” he apologized. “i made you feel alone.”

“don’t apologize, i understand.” you shook your head. “but now i want to be here for you and i think it was the other way around, i wasn’t there for you and made you feel like you only had your uncle and mom.”

“i knew i had you too, princesa. i just didn’t want you to see me like this.”

“miles, i don’t care about your appearance as long as you look healthy, you know that. you are going through a tough time right now and i want to be here for you.”

miles laid his forehead on yours. “gracias, muñeca.”

“can i stay here with you?” you asked, wanting to spend the night with him in your arms but still not wanting to intrude. it was good enough that he didn’t argue with you about you being in his home, yet you even were willing to spend the whole week with him if it would bring back the tiniest spark back to his eyes.

“yes, you can.” he nodded, raising one hand and softly stroking your cheek with his thumb just like his mother did.

after what seem like hours in the same position, his face had lost part of the tension on it, a calm expression replacing it and it made you feel a little better that you had that effect on him.

“here, mi niño.” tía morales had walked in and was passing two plates of food to you and miles.

“ma, i already—”

“thank you, tía.” you took both plates from her. “we’ll both eat it.”

the woman nodded, a smile on her face before she left the room, closing the door and leaving a 4inch gap.

you turned to miles and put one plate down on his bed and focused on one. lifting a spoonful you blew on the rice and chicken on it before directing the spoon to miles’s lips.

“say ahh.” you told him.

miles looked at you for a second before rolling his eyes and opening his mouth. “ahh.”

you put the spoon inside his mouth, and he gladly chewed the food when you took the spoon out.

grabbing food from the plate on the bed you also ate and closed your eyes at the taste of tía morales’ delicious cooking.

after miles swallowed his mouthful, you took another spoonful from the plate on your hand and lifted the spoon to his lips.

miles once again looked at you for a second but instead of rolling his eyes, he smiled showing the dimples that you loved so much.

his smile was contagious and you couldn’t help but smile as well while you led the spoon inside his mouth.

after you both finished eating you took the plates out to the kitchen and washed them before going back to miles’ room and changing into one of his shirts and shorts then laying next to him on his bed.

“i missed you so much, beautiful girl.” miles said, hugging you close. his head on your chest.

“and i missed you too.” you said truthfully.

miles nodded into your chest and you both stayed quiet for a few minutes. when you felt little droplets of tears falling onto the shirt you were wearing, you didn’t say anything. already knowing how sensitive miles was and how he preferred to cry in silence unless he spoke first.

your hand started going up and down his back, letting him know you were there and he got the message because he hugged you more tightly and sobs were coming out of his throat.

“i just miss him.” he finally spoke, his voice breaking.

this was your queue that you could speak now. “i know, bonito, i know.” you told him. “let it all out.”

“it hurts so much.” more tears started coming out of his eyes.

you needed to use all the strength in you in order to not start crying right then and there along with him instead focusing on being as comforting to him as you could, whispering sweet nothings to him and pulling him close to you.

the night went on like this and you made sure that miles was asleep before you allowed yourself to fall under exhaustion control and also fall asleep.

taglist: @anikaluv @janaeby @queerponcho @laylasbunbunny @onginlove @all444miles @fiannee @sp1dercunt @milesandcorysupermacy @loonalockley @miguelslefteyebrow @dxille (if you asked to be added to the taglist and you’re not on here is because your @ didn’t appear!)

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ reblogs are really appreciated!

[bethelighthalazia]

Nightmares

Summary:  You´re having a nightmare which truly terrifies you enough to get triggered by your best friend´s nickname for you. But, your friends and especially your boyfriend are there to calm you down.

Genre: angst, fluff, horror

Pairing: bf!Wooyoung x fem!reader

Word Count:  2198

Warnings: mentions of blood, dead bodies, minor injuries

[note: used a prompt by @creativepromptsforwriting!]

© by bethelighthalazia. Do not repost, copy or translate. Unless stated otherwise, those works are mine and born from my own ideas. I don't have any claim on the mentioned real existing Idols whatsoever.

Lungs burning, yearning for air, calves cramping, yet you didn´t stop running. Your feet hit the ground hard, have you been barefoot the whole time? How long have you been running already? Time seemed stilled. With a pained yelp, you stumbled, your foot had met a stone, which made you fall to the ground. Clouds of dust busting up when your body collides with the floor, tiny pebbles digging into the skin of your palms. Slow footsteps approach you, echoing off the concrete that formed the whole structure. You knew what it was that followed you, who it was. It didn't make it any less frightening for you though. Your scraped palms burning when you pick yourself up again, tears stinging in your eyes when you hear him breathing behind you.  “Ohh~ y/n, why are you running?” The voice barely snarled a whisper, yet it sounded as if it would be right beside your ear. This voice should be comforting for you, yet it sends a shiver down your spine, the little hairs in your neck standing up. Your tears blur your vision and you stumble once again, finding yourself crashing onto the cold concrete once more. He had caught up with you, you could feel his presence. Your hands wrapped around an item, a bracelet which slipped off of a wrist you were to hold onto, it's hard to make out the initials that had been engraved in it, filled and smeared with blood now. The scraping of metal against the concrete and then the swishing noise of it stopping right next to your ear let your blood freeze, eyes wide open. Drip. Ruby droplets falling from the blade that´s held close to you. Drip. Hitting your shoulder, the fabric of your clothes painted bloody. Drip. A cold, cruel laughter filling the air around you, seven faces looking down at your kneeling figure. A body in front of you, his usually lively brown eyes staring into nothing, you could easily make out the little mole under his left eye. "You're next, y/nnie~” The voice hums in a singsang, a sound you usually love, but now? Only one person always calls you this and in any other situation, it would be calming, but hearing it here, it frightened you even more. The last thing you hear, a metallic ringing in the air and your own scream.

A scream which continues when you sit up straight in your bed, hands clenched into the soft fabric of the blanket, cold sweat coating your skin and making Wooyoung's shirt, that you wear for sleeping, stick against you. Several footsteps trample down the hallway, Seonghwa the first to burst into your room, hair disheveled. Wooyoung's eyes wide open as he pushes himself past his hyung to reach you. 

“Jagi, I'm here, what's wrong?” He asks breathlessly, one knee on your bed as he carefully reaches out to cup your cheek. “Did something happen?” You couldn´t bring out a word yet, your breath hitched and your heart beating hard against your ribcage. The boys just exchanged a glance and Seonghwa hushed the others back to bed, heading to the kitchen himself to get some water for you before he then leaves you and your boyfriend alone. 

"N- nightmare." Your throat is dry, so you hastily grab the glass from Wooyoung now, emptying it in almost one go. Hands trembling, you hold onto the glass for a few moments, trying to remember the dream you just had, but it is as if it dissolves the longer you try to pull details back into your mind. Wooyoung gently takes the glass from you and gets into your bed next to you, his arms wrapping around your still shaking body. “Woo, I´m sweaty, you don-” You start, your voice still trembling, but he just shakes his head. “You're shaking like a leaf in a tornado, jagi. I don´t mind, we also cuddle after dance practice.” His voice is soothing, the lingering feeling of fear in your chest slowly subsiding when your head rests against his chest to listen to his heartbeat. When he lays back into the mattress with you against him, Wooyoung frowns while quietly humming your favorite melody for you. His fingers dancing over the skin of your back, he had slipped his hand under your shirt, you slowly dozed off again, this time, a dreamless sleep washing over you.

The next morning, you find yourself tangled into his arms, his hot breath fanning against your cheek. You can't help but smile softly, brushing some hair out of his face to just look at him. though, when your gaze stops at the mole under his eye, you suddenly remember his lifeless expression of your dream and it brings a quiet sob across your lips. This sound makes him shift against you, his fingers slowly returning to draw some shapes on your back as he opens his eyes. “Morning, jagi. Are you feeling better?” He hums sleepily to which you just nod, not exactly sure how you truly feel. If you were to describe your feelings, it would be a mix of uncertainty, fear and the feeling of drowning, even though you can breathe properly. But you also feel love, for Wooyoung and for the boys who let you be happy with their best friend.

“Hungry?” Wooyoung asks with a little chuckle, which quiets down quickly when he notices your expression. “Or…do you want to sleep some more?” Concern washing over his features, Wooyoung slowly sits up with you, head tilted slightly as he tries to read you. “No, we should eat some…and I have to apologize to the others for waking them.” Clearing your throat, you peck his lips and then head to the bathroom, leaving a worried and confused Wooyoung behind on the bed. Whatever this dream was about, it had a big impact on you, yet he couldn't figure out what it was. When you came out of the bathroom again, Wooyoung had left to get dressed himself, so you slowly made your way into the kitchen, not noticing San behind you when you walked into the living area of the dorms.

“Did you get some more sleep, y/nnie?” This nickname for you let you freeze in the doorway, your breath hitched and San walked right into you, he didn't notice that you had stopped. “Wh- Hey, are you okay y/nnie?” Breathing suddenly got hard, as if something has wrapped around your chest and squeezed all air out of you, your phone dropping from your hand. The noise of it lets everyone else spin around to you. 

“Jagi?” Carefully approaching you, Wooyoung opened his arms and you just let yourself fall forwards, your legs not listening to any orders your brain gives. Your hands clench into the fabric of his shirt and your whole body again trembles while your boyfriend just looks at his best friend with a confused look on his face, which San returns no less surprised. “Jagi, you´re shaking…are you cold? Maybe you´re getting a cold?” He hums, your body warming up in his embrace, but you can't fully shake off the fear that's slowly creeping into your heart once again. 

“I- I don´t know…I had a nightmare about you, Woo.” Your words come in a whisper, almost as if you'd have to force yourself to speak. In an attempt to cheer you up a little, he gave you a small smile, head tilted. “Did I look hot in it?” He asks, but the look on your face lets him go quiet in an instant, the wrinkles around his eyes from laughing turning into a deep frown. “You- you looked dead in it…”

Your words leave the whole room in silence, even though the others just had a lively conversation about the plans for the day. All eyes on you, you felt small, like back in the nightmare. But now, you had your Wooyoung holding you in his arms. The faces weren't filled with cruel amusement, but with concern and love. The other seven members loved you just as much, they saw you as their sister, one of them, while Wooyoung gave you his heart, and he held yours dearly. 

“I- I'm sorry,I shouldn't have joked jagiya. H- how do you feel? Do you want to cuddle on the sofa?” His voice was calm and soft and when you nodded, he just lifted you up, your legs wrapped around his middle, and carried you to the sofa, where he sat down with you on his lap. Seonghwa had made some tea which he brought you a cup of, the others following their hyung and sitting around you, some on the sofa, some on the floor.

“You don't have to worry, okay? I'm here jagi and I won't leave you.” Wooyoung hummed while you slowly drank your tea, his fingers gently brushing through your hair, he knows that this always soothes your nerves. “Do you…do you want to talk about it? Sometimes it helps?” This offer, tempting as it was, caused another shiver to run down your spine. You're not sure if you could talk about it, to live through the nightmare once more while telling them. Yet, you took a deep breath and then you heard your own voice, shaky and quiet.

“It was dark, not a real place, just concrete as ground…” You started, trying to pull the dream into your mind again, a frown on your face. “I ran, someone was following me and I fell. I had your bracelet in my hand…it was covered in blood-” At your words, Wooyoung lifted his arm, so you could see the bracelet around his wrist. It was a simple one, a chain with only one pendant attached to it, a heart with angel wings, the date of your first meeting engraved in one wing, your and his initials on the other wing. “It's here, see? And no blood.” Reassuring words of him, he lowered his arm again and continued to caress your hair, not without placing a kiss on your head.

“Hmh, no blood. I- in my dream…someone was following me, h- he had a sword…and- and h- he had S- San's voice. A- and-” A hiccup and a quiet sob stopped your words, your whole body trembling, your gaze fixated on the cup in your hands. “Shh, it's okay. Take a deep breath, jagi. San is here too, and he has no sword. Besides, if he'd follow you, then only to hug and cuddle you to make me jealous, right?” Wooyoung chuckled quietly, knowing exactly how to ease your nerves and calm you down again. You nodded and after taking a deep breath, you looked up, seeing a smiling San, his smile gentle and showing his dimples. This actually caused you to let out a quiet chuckle.

“T- the others were there too…I don't kn- know why, but you laid there…i- in front of me and the others stood around us…a- and San's sword was next to m- my head and…and he said I'm next and th- then I f- felt the blade on my neck and- and then-” The others looked at each other in concern, Seonghwa quickly grabbed the cup of tea from your hand when he noticed your hands shaking heavily now. To this, Wooyoung didn't know what to say, or do. His caressing on your head didn't stop once, but he pulled you closer into his arms, as if to try and show you that you're safe.

“Don't worry, jagi. It was just a nightmare, I promise.” He whispered, swallowing and looking at his hyungs, hoping that they'd have words for you that would calm you down. “Wooyoung is right, y/n. It was a nightmare. You had a lot on your mind the last weeks, it was stressful and you only just moved in here. Something like this can cause such bad dreams to happen sometimes.” Hongjoong, who was sitting next to you and Wooyoung, had spoken in a soft voice, your head turning slightly to look at him, he also had a smile on his lips, gently brushing hair out of your face with his finger.

“We all love you, sweetheart. And no one would ever try to hurt Wooyoung or you. We promise.” He continued, placing a hand on his heart, almost as if to show you how serious his words are meant. When you nodded, you could feel Woo let out a breath he had held in, your arms wrapped around him. Behind you, you heard someone shuffle, another kiss pressed against the back of your head.

“I am sorry y/nnie…whatever dream-me did, I hope you know that I'd never be able to hurt you…and that I'd do anything to help you and Woo safe, right?” San asked quietly and you nodded, turning your head to him now. You knew that none of your friends would ever harm one of you, the dream just felt so real and frightened you. “I know, Sanie. I just…I was frightened because it felt too real…and because I am always scared to lose Woo…or any of you all.”

taglist: @mingis-mizu

(if you want to be added to a taglist, follow the taglist-link in my pinned post)

[itsnotmeep]

Growing Pains

Megumi Fushiguro x Reader (angst) (slight yuuta x reader + kinda shorter)

He met her when he was just 10 and her only 12. Now he was a first-year and she was a third-year. This gap was the thing he despised the most. These two years invited others to want her, to think they could have a chance. Worse was the agony of being near her knowing that no matter what, through the lens of her eyes, he will always be a kid. What shattered him was how effortlessly the 2nd-year won her heart.

 He had come home from school to see Gojo helping the girl move into room 3 doors from his own. The unconventional guardian, upon making eye contact, ran up towards him and introduced her immediately. Gojo had spoken so fast that only bits of the bomb of words entered his ears. Made worse by how once he finished, the man ran off, leaving the boy to help the older girl. 

It wasn’t long before Megumi gathered at the pieces of information. The older girl's name was (l/n) (y/n) . She was an orphan previously, and had been picked up by the elders. The story was quite simple: a sorcerer was sent on a low level mission at the orphanage that she had been at, but upon arrival they were met with a dead curse and the girl at the scene. Somehow Gojo ended up in charge of her.

Naturally, the two became close friends, often having to deal with Gojo together. They would eat together, and plan who would cook dinner. To explore their curse techniques or invite each other to the vending machines.

As they grew older the (h/c) girl would blossom first, he noticed how she became more comfortable in her body. The ways in which she grew even prettier as time went by, to how she found confidence in herself. He also noticed how boys' eyes started following her, the way she would come home with notes of confessions or flowers.  It was in those times that he wished to grow older and ward them off himself. His crush only became bigger and in proportion, the walls that seemingly prevented her from seeing him as someone other than a kid.

What hurt him the most was the way she would come running home when the boys hurt her feelings. The ways in which he would help comfort her by bringing her favorite foods, set up her comfort movie. He hated how the tears flowed down her face, the ways her eyes would puff over a guy that didn’t deserve her. If only she could pick him, he would make sure to guard her heart, treat her with care, stand by her side when things get rough and make sure she understood how perfect she already was. It was like the gods had cursed him with an endless agony, the way he would fix her heart and gather the pieces but could never be the hands which held it. Eventually she would get over it and continue on.

“Ohh, Megumi your such a caring little brother to me” 

The sentence always haunted him. Yet for some reason his heart couldn't let her go, hope still found its way in. Maybe he still had a chance or that this long wait and torture had a payoff. So, he foolishly hung on, not caring if his hands became torn and bloody, until he saw her with his upperclassmen.

The boy had only arrived a month ago, but he could see how the blush decorated her cheeks whenever they made eye contact. The way the girl swoon over Yuuta unlike the boys before, the way the gentlemen’s simple act of kindness, like picking up her dropped hair tie, so easily rewarded him with a smile.

He didn’t know if the girl's trust to tell him everything about Yuuta hurt him more, or the fact that he could tell the respectable boy had liked her back. He saw the way the boy's eyes lingered on the girl when she left the classroom, the very same ones he himself had given since they first met. The way her compliment had also painted a smile on his face and the giddiness he would secretly express when the girl left. 

The way that passed items would mean lingering touches between each other or the way they didn’t deny anything when their peers would tease them. Instead laughing along and beaming with pride that the two were associated. The way in which the upperclassmen went up to him asking for advice, and he had given it feelingly. Knowing that no matter how much he hated the situation Yuuta was a good man for (y/n).

When Yuuta was sent away it was no surprise when the girl was chosen to go with him. It also shouldn’t have surprised Megumi when he received the call.

“Megumi, you’re not gonna believe it! He asked me out!” or the other one a week later when his childhood crush announced “It is official, I’m his girlfriend”. All he could do was congratulate her while he died inside. It wasn’t the two years that drove the girl away but the fact that he wasn’t enough. The girl was selfish to him, not because she had done anything wrong, it was that even with his heart crushed he knew that if the girl ever called him, he would be there. Or the fact that even if another girl entered his life if (y/n) asked him to, he would drop everything to be with her.

[hwaseonghwasworld]

Best friends brother chapter 10 LAST PART: I Always Come Prepared

Summary: Yunho doesn’t want his baby sister (Y/n) dating any of his friends especially Mingi since they are like brothers to him and it’s an issue when all Y/n’s friends are dating Yunho’s friends but he wouldn’t let Y/n talk to any guys since he’s so overprotective, it’s such a shame that she’s been with Mingi for almost 2 years and no one knows. What will happen if Yunho finds out?

Song Mingi x Reader

Warnings: cursing, smut, fights

Word count: 1k

Genre: series, angst, comedy, fluff, hidden relationship, High school au

Updates: probably Friday at 10pm BST

“Mingi we should go to Kang Daniel’s fan sign” Mingi sigh eyed me saying “why do you like him so much?” I hit his arm a little “what do you mean his voice is so angelic and his dancing” I was blushing just saying those and he rolled his eyes.

“Can we go pleaseeeeee” “fine” “why do you want me to come anyway” I looked at him and told him “for comfort” “and you know I don’t like going places alone” he nodded then I jump onto him kissing his cheeks.

A couple year later me and Mingi live together in an apartment in Seoul but Mingi is a Kpop idol with his friends while I go to Yonsei University, and I study interior design. Mingi proposed to you recently since you two have been together for 7 years.

You were about to go to uni and since Mingi has to be up early as well so you both ended up waking up at the same time, as soon as you both get ready you kiss Mingi goodbye after dropping him off to the company’s and driving to my university, I made new friends in uni since my friends are also kpop idols so they don’t go here.

“Y/n that dress that you made in class is so beautiful” I smile and thanked her, we went into class and I got a text from Mingi, I smile and texted him back.

“You’re having a wedding?” “Yeah me and Min- my boyfriend have been together for 7 years” “and you didn’t invite us?” I never told them that I was dating a kpop idol since I felt like there was no need, my graduation is soon anyway and my wedding is a month after, but since I’ve known my friends for 4 years I guess it’s best to just let them come “of course you guys are invited, we haven’t really sorted out the guest arrangements yet anyway” “ok so like when is it” I told them where and when it is, and said how they wouldn’t bring anyone I don’t know but they can bring a date, since I didn’t want people to know that I’m married to an idol yet since the groups dating ban hasn’t ended yet even though almost all the members are in a relationship.

“So why doesn’t he go here” I looked at them trying to find something to say “he works” “ohh ok” “oh yeah Y/n did you see ATEEZ’s new comeback.” “No I don’t really listen to them” she showed ma a picture of the 8 boys and I kept my eyes on Mingi “so whose your bias?” “Wait she looks like a Yunho bias” “yeah they look the same too” I looked at them shocked and disgusted, I did not want them to say that even if they don’t know about me and Yunho being siblings, “my bias is Mingi actually”

“Really?, my bias is Hongjoong” I looked at them and nodded as they were fangirling over each member “I really wish I could marry Mingi, he’s literally husband material” I nodded agreeing with them since it’s true, Mingi is husband material.

After school I decided to go grocery shopping, while I was searching for stuff someone back hugged me and I turn around seeing the man with a mask and a hat covering his eyes, I knew it was Mingi and I hugged him putting my head on his chest smelling his scent. “What are you going here, what if someone sees you” he smiled giving me a hat and mask so it seems less suspicious “I always come prepared princess” I smile as he helped me hold the basket.

When we were about to pay and Mingi could see that the woman could recognize him, he put his head down so she couldn’t see his eyes. We walked out and went into the car, “I think the lady saw me” I looked at him shocked “wait really” “Yh but I don’t think she realized who I am I nodded hoping he doesn’t get a scandal.

Once we walked into our apartment and ATEEZ and (G)-idle were here I was shocked to see them since I thought they were busy, I hugged them, they had another member called soojin and she was so nice she hugged me and smiled at me wanting to know about the wedding, “so how when’s the wedding?” I looked and Mingi and smiled then back at soojin, “it’s in 3 months”

A couple months later it was the wedding ceremony, i was taking pictures and as my friends from my uni saw me with Mingi walking up to me and kissing me, getting ready to take pictures with him. “Wait … Mingi IS YOUR HUSBAND!” I looked at them in shock as my brother answered them still lowkey not wanting us to be together “yup” “I don’t even know why my sister chose my best friend, but it is what it is” the girls were just flabbergasted, they didn’t know how to react. “Ok so let me get this straight, you’re getting married to a kpop idol, your brother is a kpop idol, and your friend are kpop idols too” “yes” I answered as they stood there in utter shock “THATS SO COOL” I laughed a little as we took pictures to and they go to the main venue.

While I was walking down the isle so me and Mingi could finally get married my friends looked at me excited as they were quietly rooting me on, I turned to look at Mingi and he kept looking at me the whole time, as soon as we finally got to kiss people cheered us on as Mingi pulled me closer and wrapping his arms around my waist while I cupped his cheeks as we pulled into a soft passionate kiss.

💖

Previous Chapter

Masterlist

Taglist: @scarfac3 @huachengsbestie01 @tunaasan

Side note: I apologize if this seemed rushed I’ve been pretty busy with my exams which is the reason why the time is so messy and also because of the writers block but i will try and have better timing with the next ff and try and make it longer

Thank you for reading this ff💖

[soubi122]

How Long? - PT 7

One more chapter to go! WARNINGS: Manipulation, mentions of pregnancy, thoughts of baby trapping, fear, angst, anxiety, suggestive, cheating, overall toxic behavior, thoughts of self harm, destructive behavior, so many lies - ugh

True Disaster

For a moment everything went quiet, despite the yelling and screaming, you could only hear Sanzu's words echo in your ears. Was this some sort of sick ‘welcome back’ joke? 

As much as you resented him, there was still a small part of you that loved him… Those feelings that began to bloom when you first met him on the island were fading - fast. Everything that came out of his mouth earlier was a lie. He had no problem keeping your old shared bedroom the same and bedding some other woman in it. Now you know for sure that the gods have a sick sense of humor. Bringing him back into your life was already a beautiful deception but the events that followed were a true disaster. 

He had said it mere hours ago, ‘I want to start a family’. He got his wish, ohh boy did he get his wish. The quiet chuckle that escaped your lips made Sanzu turn around and look at you in confusion. This should have broken you and left you a sobbing mess. Yet you were laughing and smiling - almost as if your sanity went out the window. “What's so funny dollface?” Sanzu smirks at you. Slowly sitting up, you grip your chest and respond in an icy tone. “He won't set me free. Only a fool would think that…” You didn't mean to insult Sanzu but it was the truth. This was no more than a small hiccup, Ran was no stranger to forcing a woman to get an abortion, he was no stranger to making people disappear - he will do everything it takes for that to happen. Your muscle strength was returning, allowing you to sit up comfortably and place your feet on the floor. 

Rushing footsteps had you both turning around to face the rest of Bonten. Some of them looked roughed up, it seems they struggled to keep Ran from setting the office on fire. “Oh, (Y/N), welcome back.” Kakucho said while straightening up his tie. As if there wasn’t a shit storm in the other room - they proceeded to greet you. Rindou couldn’t help but scoff and furrow his eyebrows at you, he still resented you. However, now he felt nothing but pity for you. You were going to be shoved aside yet again. How long was Ran going to keep it up this time?

In the back you could see the morose look on Ran’s face. The moment your eyes connected, he walked in your direction and placed his hand on your head. “Everything will be alright baby. I can fix this.” You remained still and locked eyes with Sanzu. He knew that look all too well and didn't say a thing. Mikey felt the urge to intervene but he noticed the exchange between you and Sanzu. ‘She knows…’ He thinks to himself, there was no reason for you to look at him like that. “Aniki (兄貴), she cannot stay at your place. It’s too risky.” Rindou spoke, he masked his real concern with the excuse that the building staff might recognize you. In reality he was afraid that the woman who was claiming his baby would show up at his home. 

Kokonoi and Takeomi agreed, it was too risky for you to stay with Ran. Especially since you were technically dead. The only question was where will you stay? They couldn’t risk you staying at a hotel due to surveillance, none else in Bonten wanted to get caught between the mess Ran created and they did not want a ‘stranger’ in their home. Ran protested, he did not want you out of his sight but Rindou had a valid point. “Mikey, where did you hide her last time?” Takeomi asked. Mikey omitted information of your exact whereabouts in his explanation. You felt a little nauseous when Takeomi asked that question - would Mikey omit it or tell the truth. What if Ran puts the pieces together? What if he decides to end you right here and now? Mikey refused to say as a ‘safety precaution’, stating that he could not compromise Bonten’s safety but assured them that you’d be safe.

“If I hide her, Ran you won’t have access to her.” He said emotionlessly. “What do you mean by that? I can’t see my wife until this little issue is resolved?” Ran asked with a low tone. Wife? Was he fucking serious right now? What the hell did he mean by little issue, this is a huge issue. One bigger than you could have imagined. Questioning the king was a mistake but to avoid conflict - you did something you wished you didn’t. 

Pulling Ran in, you placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. “You said it would be ok. Please, if this is the only way for me to not jeopardize you or the organization - I’ll do it. I don’t want to cause more trouble than I already have.”  Your tone was soft and almost obedient. Sanzu grinned like a madman, he was enjoying your theatrics. Who knew you had it in you, then again pain can make someone change. It was settled with a mere kiss to the cheek - Ran let go of any nagging questions that were burning in his skull when you kissed him. You were now playing a dangerous game. Weakly standing, you bowed to everyone and apologized for deceiving them. 

They could only nod and accept your apology as they understood your reasoning. Being told you were loved and then cheated on by your fiancé - it was heartbreaking. Even they could see that. Regardless of Bonten’s cruel nature, they still held a soft spot for you and it showed during their mourning period for you. “(Y/N), I will take you home shortly.” Mikey said and dismissed everyone out of the office. When he spoke, you could feel the warmth in your chest - he was going to protect you again. Allowing you a moment to head to the bathroom, you took the spare toothbrush and toothpaste that they kept in the storage closet (of course they would have all sorts of things here as most of them lived in the office) to wash your mouth and remove the bitter taste of vomit, metal and lingering sweet taste of chloroform. 

Afterwards, Ran took your hand and guided you to his office - his hands were cold, almost as if you were holding the hand of a corpse. Shutting the door behind him, he moved you towards his desk and took a seat on the large office chair. Pulling you in and sitting you down on his desk, he wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his face in your chest. His breathing was unsteady and he held you tightly, he muttered his apologies while remaining buried in your chest. If you didn’t know what you knew now - you would have caved in. This would have been a tender moment between someone who threw a temper tantrum over being told to be patient. Hesitating, you wrapped your arms around him, “Ran, I’m sorry I panicked. I thought you were going to hurt me again.” You say and begin to stroke his hair, almost in a comforting manner. Your false sincerity was convincing, he didn’t question you nor press you any further as to why you fled. He shakes his head, he was letting it go since he had more pressing matters at hand. “What happened? What was all that noise in the other room?” You asked innocently, letting him think that you knew nothing of what was going on.

He squeezes you tightly, almost like a child trying to hide his face from his mother. “Nothing my love, nothing to worry about.” He said and continued to hide his face. You could feel his hands tremble, he was hiding it - was he really going to lie to you again? It felt like he was made up of nothing but lies at this point. You were giving him one final chance to come clean with you - after this there was no going back. Trying to cup his face and tilt his head up, you spoke softly. “Please, it sounded like intense fighting. Be honest with me - I deserve that much, Ran.” He kept his head down and spoke into your chest, he was almost begging you to let it go. “It was nothing, I just got scolded for bringing you in the way I did. I fucked up and could have drawn attention to us. That’s all.” Once again, you felt pain in your chest - if he’s lying to you now, what will stop him lying to you again? This is not just a minor inconvenience, this is the life of another person and a new life that has yet to be born in this world. Who knows how far along this woman was and what she had hanging over his head in order for him to lose this shit. Even now you were already bearing the weight of his lies, they were crushing you little by little and there was no easy way out of this. You knew, you fucking knew that whatever takes place after tonight, it will destroy him and may even destroy you. 

“Can we just stay like this a little longer? Please…” He said. You paused for a moment and held him close, biting back the tears that were on the verge of spilling. You exhaled and realized that it was taking a lot out of you to love him. There was no way to peacefully resolve this, someone was bound to lose and for the second time in your life you were forced to make a choice. There was no way to feel anything for him anymore, the lies and trial by fire was too much. Old wounds were beginning to open and bleed, this was going to be the last time you’d ever feel him in your arms, the last time you’d feel his lips on yours and the last time your heart will ever beat for him…

After a few minutes, the knock on the door made you separate from him and face the doorway. It was Mikey, the scene in front of him made a pang in his chest but all he had to do was wait just a little longer. He’d be able to talk to you freely without prying eyes and ears. “It’s time…” He said dryly. Ran finally looked up and at the doorway, he wasn’t ready to part ways with you just yet, but he was rather grateful that you were going to be kept out of sight. He was planning his next move on how to resolve the unplanned pregnancy that fell on his lap. “Just one more minute boss…” Mikey nodded and closed the door. The moment the door shut, Ran stood up and made you face him - pulling you into him again and his lips crashed against yours. He didn’t give you a moment to breathe as his tongue overwhelmed yours, tasting you as if it were the last time. It felt like it was more than a minute. Ran whispered into your lips, “I love you (Y/N). No matter what happens, I will always love you.” It hurts, it hurts so much - oh god it hurts. 

Luckily, you didn’t get the chance to speak as Mikey opened the door and signaled for you to follow him. You couldn’t bring yourself to say it back and Ran didn’t force you either. How could you after everything he put you through? “Wait for me…” He barely managed to say right before you walked out the door. You only looked back and gave him a weak smile before disappearing with Mikey. The rest of the admins and executives only watched as you trailed behind Manjiro like a lost puppy. Keeping your head down, you avoided eye contact with everyone. Sanzu couldn’t hide his shit eating grin, it made Takeomi rather uncomfortable - he knows his brother has many screws loose but this was different. Sanzu knew something that they didn’t, but good luck making him talk - he was the master of secrets and deception. 

On the way to this ‘classified’ location, you sat in the passenger seat as Manjiro drove - the silence was overwhelming. There were so many questions that you wanted to ask and so many things you wanted to say, however, you opted not to break down in front of him. When he pulled into an underground garage, you followed him - it was to switch cars to avoid any potential followers finding out where you were going. You remembered the first time he did this and you thought he was really going to kill you. The light snicker made Mikey turn to look at you with a soft smile on his face. “Hm? You’re thinking about the first time?” He says and wiggles his eyebrows up and down teasingly. “You were so scared and yet you continued to follow me without question.” He was right, you were scared shitless yet you didn't run away from him, you trusted him. 

Finally, you arrived at his home - it was nostalgic and bittersweet. Walking in, you kicked off your shoes and stood by the doorway, waiting for his permission to move forward. “I know you’re not acting like this is your first time here (Y/N)...” Mikey snickers and lightly pushes you through the entrance. Even though you called this home in the past, it was still surreal to be here again. You couldn’t bring yourself to sit down or touch anything as you felt dirty from lying on the grass and being touched by Ran. “Can I use your shower? I’m covered in dirt and other things..” You say awkwardly. “You don’t have to ask for permission, angel. This will always be your home.” Mikey says and pats your head. He was being gentle and considerate of you. 

After taking a long shower, you filled the tub with warm water and a bath bomb. Mikey ended up getting some for himself after you forced him to use one. You melted his stress away with little to no effort that night. Somehow you convinced the King of Bonten to indulge in the little self pleasures of life. Several minutes of sitting in the bath water, you heard a knock on the bathroom door and in walked Mikey. He had two beers in hand and a warm smile on his face. The blush on your face made his heart skip a beat. It’s been far too long since he’s seen you like this…bare and vulnerable. He sat on the edge of the tub and handed you the beer bottle, you could see his eyes drinking in your features and figure. All of a sudden you were self conscious and tried to cover yourself as best you could under the water. Taking sips, you still tried your best to hide your body. Mikey chuckled and began to pat your head, slowly stroking your hair and made you lean into his touch. His touch felt like a warm embrace. 

You could feel your heart pound in your chest and the overwhelming sense of guilt began to crash into you. The sound of your unsteady breathing caught his attention, he paused and sighed. “I’m so sorry, angel. I should have warned you when Ran left Tokyo for Wakkanai.” He felt responsible for everything you went through within the last 3 days. You buried your face into the side of his thigh. He didn’t care that you were getting his clothes wet. Mikey felt his heart strings being pulled, seeing you like this reminded him of that time you dove into the deep end. “Mikey, I feel like such a fool.” You barely manage to say. The pain in your chest wouldn’t stop, the throbbing in your head was driving you insane and the feeling of Ran’s lips on yours was making you chew on your bottom lip. At first, there was a small glimmer of hope of taking Ran back but the overall behavior and lies just squashed it.

Without hesitating, Mikey put the bottles on the floor and climbed into the tub fully clothed. He pulled you in and held you tight. “Angel, can you forgive me?” He pleaded, he was angry at himself for making you go through this again and again and again. You felt your heart breaking, he had no reason to apologize, he did what he thought was best - to let you stand on your own two feet. There was no one else to blame but both you and Ran. Manjiro did nothing wrong. It felt like you couldn’t breathe, all the emotions swirling inside of you just bursted out and you were a crying mess. Babbling incoherently and apologizing to Manjiro for being a weak woman, for flinching, for wavering, for sleeping with Ran, for letting him kiss you and hold you. The bathroom was filled with echoes of your cries as you buried your face into his chest.

Memories of Ran’s first betrayal had your body trembling, it didn’t help that the actions that took place earlier today were already chipping away at what little resolve you had left. “Manjiro, did you know about the baby?” You asked him and clutched his shirt as you continued to cry. “No, none of us did. This was just sprung on us the moment Ran brought you to the office.” Mikey said and tilted your head up to face him. “I will get as many details as I can for you so that you can make your decision.” His tone was low, almost glum - he was afraid of losing you again. Seeing you so vulnerable, the temptation was getting the better of him. Slowly he leaned in, ghosting his lips over yours. “Manjiro…” You whisper and pull away. “We can’t…” It hurt the both of you but you were right. This wasn’t the time to give in to desire.

Mikey softly smiled and placed a kiss on your forehead, apologizing and was about to leave but your arms reached out for him. “You’ll catch a cold like that.” You say while looking down at the water, you couldn’t face him. Handing him the loofa, you signaled for him to discard his clothes - he smiled and removed his clothing. Oh how your eyes lit up at remembering him. His lean and toned figure, the veins on his arms, the veins somewhere else below… Shyly, you asked him to turn around and he did. Sitting down and placing him between your legs, you pulled him into your chest and hugged him from behind. Feeling your breasts against his bare back had his blood rushing south. His body was so warm and the way his breathing became unsteady, it was making an ache grow between your legs.

Grabbing the shampoo bottle, you begin to wash his silver hair and massaged his scalp. The light scent of lavender filled the room and Mikey relaxed into your touch, closing his eyes and placing his hands on your knees. It was rather nostalgic to you both, it was something he did for you after that one night together. That tender moment made your heart begin to beat for someone other than Ran. Mikey held a special place in your heart, but you were too afraid to commit to him. Even though he is a drastic change from Ran, knowing that they are involved, you sealed off your heart, especially after his refusal to come see you. 

Running your hands down the back of his neck, you gently massage it and his shoulders. Your touch had his mind wondering, especially when you traced over his hanafuda tattoo. He lightly pants and runs his hands up your thighs - gripping them a little. “Angel…you’re gonna get me even harder…” Mikey says as a moan escapes his lips when you massaged a particular spot that got his mind muddled in sin. You apologized to him, it wasn’t your intention to get him excited - kind of... “You never came to see me while I was in Wakkanai…” You whisper in his ear, the bewitching tone made his body yearn for your warm walls. Before Mikey could answer, you began to rinse his hair - slightly sitting up on your knees and pressing yourself against him. Running the nozzle on his scalp, you gently wash away the shampoo and continue to lightly massage him. “I didn’t want to risk exposing you - Sanzu would have caught on immediately. You know how paranoid he is.” Mikey says while keeping his eyes closed, his hand began to wander south of his body - his member was fully erect and his body felt like it was on fire.

‘She’s driving me insane…’ He thinks to himself and resists the urge to stroke himself. Once you were done, you grabbed the loofa and washed his back. “Still…you should have come to see me, I waited for you. I keep praying that you'd walk through that door, not Ran.” There was a bit of anguish in your voice, you had a feeling that he didn’t come to see you due to other reasons. Other reasons being that you two made love to each other and made heartfelt promises. Promises that in the end, Manjiro couldn’t keep because of Bonten. He couldn’t find the words to say and remained quiet. Everything continued in awkward silence, even after the bath. Without asking, you went into his closet to grab some clean clothes - Ran still had your stuff at his place. It wasn’t like you to stay upset, especially with Mikey - you never stayed mad at him for more than a minute. Yet, Mikey didn’t do anything to approach you. There was too much fire in your eyes and he didn’t want to get burned.

Once Mikey got dressed, he left the room - the sound of the front door opening and closing signaled his leave. He didn’t want to stay there or else he’d be forced to give in to his selfish desires. When you were apart, he used to call you twice a week just to check in and make sure you were ok. Those calls became less and less when you would ask him to come see you on certain events, like your birthday or his birthday and the grand opening of your café. When he would say yes, he’d only end up disappointing you by canceling literally 1 hour before your meet up time. You always told yourself that it was ok because you understood that Bonten always came first but when he made a habit out of it - you realized that it was more than just Bonten. It was because of you.

On his bed, you curled up and bursted out crying - the pain was too much to bear with the maelstrom of emotions. Your heart was in shambles. Ran was the love of your life and his return left you busted and blue. There was a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe he would have changed. However, the conversation you overheard with Rindou - it made you hit the brakes. What followed was a collision of regret, insanity and obsession. These last few years away from it all, it made you a stronger person but yet he was able to break you down in a mere minute. Even with his pleas of wanting a family, there was a split second of happiness that felt like heaven but it was all too good to be true. Now he’ll be a father to someone else’s baby. The thoughts swirling in your head had you overwhelmed, making your eyes heavy and your body give in to lethargy. Everything faded into black…

*meanwhile*

Ran was pacing back and forth in his office, trying to figure out how to handle the catastrophe that landed on his lap. The women in question? Oh you knew her all too well, it was the same woman who he cheated on you with - Rindou’s ex girlfriend. That woman single handedly destroys everything she touches, fucks any many men she can sink her teeth into and gets whatever she wants at whatever the cost. Ran’s office door swung open and the rest of Bonten walked into his office. “Aniki (兄貴), you need to let (Y/N) go - this shit storm isn’t going away anytime soon.” Rindou’s voice was full of venom. It felt like an eternity for Ran to recover from losing you, Rindou didn’t want to see him like that again. “How the fuck did you let this happen?” Mochizuki asked him, this was the first time he’s ever been pissed off at Ran. He knew his carelessness would one day come back and bite him in the ass but this was beyond what anyone could have imagined. 

It turns out that Ran got piss drunk, took her home, fucked her in your shared bed and doesn’t remember what he did or said. But apparently the bitch was sneaky enough to record the whole ordeal, it was the only way to keep Ran at her side - she refused to let go of the life of luxury. She couldn’t get it with Rindou or anyone else but she aimed for Ran after your so-called death. Who else would replace you? He’s been seeing her even after your disappearance and death. Wiping her out of existence wouldn’t be an issue - it’d be the easiest solution but she was smart. She spread the information and video amongst the lower ranks and others who had a personal vendetta against Ran. If she were to go missing, they’d turn in the evidence to the cops and take down Ran. This would also lead to an internal investigation on Bonten. He royally fucked up.

“We need to find everyone she had contact with to make sure they don’t leak any information - we will need to get rid of them and everyone else around them to avoid any potential third party leaks.” Takeomi said and began to look through his contacts - of course the call girls who were in that circle would have information. Bonten can offer more than just money for their loyalty. “Getting rid of the third party folks would be the first step - but we also need to secure that whore at the same time. We can’t risk her sending out any kind of signal to her contacts.” Sanzu said and grinned like a child on Christmas morning. He was a little too excited about this and it shows. “We need to do this quietly… QUIETLY!” Kokonoi said as he looked at Sanzu, everyone knew that he was a loose cannon. “It’s not just Ran who would be jeopardized… Mikey would be too…” Kakucho said and reminded Sanzu of how delicate this operation would be. Though Sanzu couldn’t give two shits about Ran - he did value the safety of his King. 

“Ran, she needs to know about this - we don’t know how much information she has access to while in hiding.” Mochizuki said softly, concern was laced on each and every word. Remember, the others did favor you and treated you like family before the fall out. This was way too cruel  even for Bonten standards - you don’t deserve to be thrown into the flames again. “She does not need to know a goddamn thing, do you understand me?!” Ran raised his voice. He was cracking. Now Bonten had two things to worry about, this blackmail and Ran’s sanity. “What if she does find out?” The Cheshire cat grin that Sanzu had on his face made everyone uneasy. He’s always ready to end lives but he was indulging in an admin’s/executive’s misfortune. He was almost baring his fangs at Ran, ready to savor the moment that everything comes crashing down on him. 

The rest of the night was spent in mapping out that woman’s contacts, they left no stone unturned. In the middle of this Mikey walked in and Sanzu’s grin widened - everyone else was so caught up in Ran’s fucking disaster that they didn’t notice Mikey’s change of clothes. That only led Sanzu to one thing and one thing only - you two were closer than what he makes it seem and Ran doesn’t know a damn thing about it. “Boss…”  Sanzu says, trying to hide his excitement. This was one of the main reasons why Mikey couldn’t come to see you. Sanzu was too sharp and would have caught on if he disappeared to come see you, even if it was only for a day. 

The admins and executives filled Mikey in with the information gathered and what the plan was. So far, everything sounds good on paper - but the execution of this operation is going to be crucial. “Mikey…is she ok?” Ran asked, uncertainty tainted his every word. He answered dryly and didn’t bother to give him further information. “How long will this operation take? She can’t stay in hiding forever, the longer she stays in Tokyo, the higher the risk of her being recognized..” Mikey said and finalized the plan to move forward. It really didn’t matter how long the operation would take- he just wanted to know how long he’d have you by his side.

*the next day* 

Waking up with the sun slapping you in the face, you groan and roll over - not realizing where you were and whose house you were in. Nhn… The scent of sandalwood and warm vanilla made you snap up. “Mikey!” You say his name in a panic. Only silence responded to your call, there was no noise inside the house. Getting up to check the rest of the house, you noticed that Mikey hadn’t returned from the office. 

The whole day you paced back and forth - waiting for Mikey to come home. There was no way to communicate with him or anyone, it was making you anxious. Recalling the laptop he had, you searched his home for it in hopes that it still had his phone synced into it. Rummaging through the house, you were not having luck finding it - well that is until you went back to his bedroom. In the closet on the top shelf, the laptop was there just collecting dust, he hasn’t used it since you left. Taking it with you to the living room, you plug it in and run the updates. After what felt like an eternity, it rebooted and was  ready for use. Crossing your fingers you prayed that the updates didn’t mess with the synchronization with his phone. 

For once the gods did you a favor and let something go your way. You were able to login and see Mikey’s location, he was indeed at the office. Pulling up the messaging app, it made a pang in your heart - the previous messages popped up. This all took place while you were in hiding 3 years ago before he got you a burner phone. The messages started innocent and shy, almost professional in a way. Then they started becoming more friendly and sweet, you could see how little by little both your barriers were coming down. There was no denying that there was something there. The notification sound of a bubble made you jump, it was a notification - a new message. Sure enough when you opened it, it was Mikey.

31/08 - 9:59 a.m. Manjiro Mobile: Angel? What are you doing? End Message

He could see his laptop’s status as Online and it surprised him. You reply and ask him when he will be home and what was going on? The exchange lasted a few minutes, he didn’t want you to stress out and only mentioned that they were all extremely busy. It was driving you up the wall, you needed some air.

31/08 - 10:14 a.m. PC device: Mikey, I need to step out. I have no clothing, no personal care items and you hardly have any food. I will wear a facemask and go to the small convenience store 3 blocks down. I am taking some cash from our little piggy bank. End Message

Mikey did an immediate facetime call - it kept ringing and ringing but there was no reply. By the time the call timed out, he noticed that the pc’s status was offline. Did you just…? Did you just disobey orders? Surely, you were still throwing a hissy fit because of last night, you weren’t going to leave right? “Fuck…” He sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose, you were still pissed off. “What’s wrong boss?” Kakucho asked, it wasn’t like Mikey to show any sign of frustration. “I need to go…” He said and walked off. Everyone else was too busy to notice that Mikey had disappeared. To be fair, it wasn’t anything unusual.

*meanwhile*

Before leaving Mikey’s house, you made sure to cover up your face with a face mask and hat. The baggy clothes made it hard to determine if you were a woman or a man. Walking down the streets, you tried to keep your eyes peeled to make sure that you wouldn’t run into anyone you knew in the past. Luckily the streets were still empty, from what you knew Mikey's home location was away from admins, executives and underlings - all as a precaution. 

While gathering the essentials, you were looking around the store for a quick meal to eat and the sound of someone's giggle made you freeze in place. The sound got louder and louder, as if they were passing by behind you. A chill ran down your spine, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand. 'It can't be…' You think to yourself and slowly lift your head to look for the source of laughter. There was no forgetting the sound of her voice, you've heard it too many times and even heard it the day you lost your fucking mind. You would have probably lost your life if Mikey wasn't there to catch you. The moment your eyes landed on the smaller brunette at the end of the aisle, you felt as if you were going to pass out - it was her. She had her back turned but you knew, you fucking knew it was the woman who took everything from you. She was laughing without a care in the world and was with two other women. Just as you were beginning to walk away, one of the women's questions made you stop in your tracks. "When are you due again?" Dropping down to pretend to look for something on the floor shelves, you listened to her response. "I'm due towards the end of May, just like her daddy!" She squeals in excitement. There was a voice inside your head that was telling you to turn around and leave but the curiosity got the better of you. The motions felt as if they were in slo mo and she was caressing her belly. You could barely see the bump but when she pulled the fabric of her shirt tight against her stomach, there it was. Their baby… 

You felt heat in your face and your vision became blurry. There was no way to prepare for impact. As much as you tried to steel yourself against Ran, it was no use - it's everything you wanted at the beginning of this engagement. Yet it now belonged to someone else. "It took me almost 3 years to convince him to give me a baby… but he finally gave in 2 months ago. He said he wanted to start a family and that he loves me." Her tone was sincere, there was no way to tell if she was lying or not. Now, you felt like the other woman… If he truly said he loved her and agreed to give her a baby, why would he come looking for you? Why would he tell you he loves you? Why would he tell you he wanted a family with you? All these things were said knowing that his heart was somewhere else. The disgust was eating away at you, it felt like you couldn't breathe and everything in sight started to distort. An overwhelming sense of hatred had you clenching your fists so hard that it made you draw blood from your palms. 

You felt something snap, the last thread that was keeping your heart strung together just snapped. Leaving the items behind, you exited the convenience store and continued to walk - walking until your legs led you to his front door. Your mind was so muddled and the maelstrom of emotions was enough to block out all other sounds around you. Strangers were staring at you and some even tried coming up to you to ask if you were ok as your hands were bleeding. But you just kept walking, you kept moving forward - not even bothering to take a moment to pause for crosswalks. Surprisingly enough you didn’t get hit by a car or run into something. 

Making your way up to the top floor of your old home, you unlocked the door using the spare key he always kept magnetized on top of the door frame. Entering the penthouse, your eyes scanned the entire space - things that you didn’t notice before were now like giant red flags that screamed at you. Someone else was staying here rather often, there were feminine decorations and items lying around that you knew for sure did not belong to Ran. Opening the foyer closet, you saw a few pairs of women’s shoes, a woman’s jacket and handbags. You ran to the bathroom to check for feminine products and other shit that hinted at him having someone else living with him. Sure enough, beauty products were on the counter with scented candles and an extra tooth brush. 

How the fuck was he going to explain all this to you? You were bound to see these things the same day of your arrival. The last straw was the bedroom, even though he kept things the way they were when you left - her things were in your drawers and closet space. Ran was an idiot for finding you without thinking things through. This would have been more than enough to signal that he hasn’t changed and that he was messing around with the same bitch. The qualm was eating away at you, you should have noticed all these things when you arrived yesterday but you were too anxious to notice them. He was the same fucking idiot that you left 3 years ago, nothing changed - he didn’t change.

The sound of a phone vibrating caught your attention, it was sitting on his side of the nightstand - this wasn’t his phone. It looked like a Bonten burner phone. In the pit of your stomach you felt a gross sense of curiosity. The voice inside your head was screaming at you not to touch it and to get the fuck out of there, call it a woman’s intuition or whatnot, but of course, you were human - human to a fucking fault. Picking up the phone you touch the screen and slide the bar to unlock it. Sure enough a wave of regret and anger washed over you. The home screen was another woman… and it wasn’t even the pregnant one. The notification bubble popped up again and the contact name was a nickname ‘Cocksleeve’.  It made you sick to your stomach. You hated yourself for what you did next. You opened his messenger app and lo and behold - dozens of his contacts had half naked profile pictures with trashy nicknames. It got worse as you scrolled through the messages, videos of them and him - so much for saying that he never stopped thinking about you. The worst part was that a lot of these were recent. You wanted nothing more than to set yourself on fire and cleanse your body from his touch. 

Even though you already made the choice to leave Ran, the blossoming rage inside you wanted to make him suffer. You promised yourself back in Wakkanai that you wouldn’t hurt him, you weren’t like that…you weren’t like him. Now all the memories were too stained with blood to even think back on any happy moments with him. Everything that played inside your head were his actions of betrayal, his spiteful words and the distorted I love yous - it was making your head spin. You dropped the phone and chuckled, the chuckles turned into giggles, the giggles into full blown laughter with tears streaming down your face. You were now sure that god didn’t exist, there was no way that he would allow something that cruel to happen to anyone - either that or god had it out for you. 

Smashing the proposal photo that was on his nightstand, you took the picture out of frame and tore it to shreds, you couldn’t feel the glass shards on your finger tips. The blood stained the scraps of photo paper and tainted the floor. Walking over to the dresser and vanity, you knocked everything off - smashing the expensive perfume bottles. The stinging in your palms was nowhere near the pain that you felt in your chest. Grabbing the broken bottle, you fling it into the mirror - shattering the image of yourself. The force was enough to send shards in your direction, causing small cuts on your face. You lost control of yourself. Going through his closet, you opened the leather suitcase that has his old gang’s uniform and mementos. Inside was also his baton, his favorite weapon of choice as a fucked up teenager. Taking the baton, you proceeded to smash all the mirrors, lights and anything you know he valued. 

In a way you were setting yourself free from his lies and bullshit. If someone were to walk in on you now, they would have confused you for someone who escaped out of the insane asylum. By the time you finished destroying everything you could, your arms felt like lead and your body was covered in specs of blood. Grabbing his burner phone, you tucked it inside your backpack and left his apartment. Taking your old car keys from the key rack, you headed back to Manjiro’s house and prepared yourself to make the final blow… Ran was going to feel every ounce of rage you had pent up inside you. At this point you didn’t care whether or not you’d live to see tomorrow. You just wanted him to suffer…

Tags: @rinrinfoxy @mor-pheus @no-signal-found  @namelessnikki2 @gabi-moureira @spookys-s @slvtmeow @jinii-desu @mmmaaannnsssiii @3xchooo @kokotakeomi @no-name-jack @barriesandcrem @reidsmexyconverse @waterfallsdown @1980losersliveinme @gabytodd @simp4ren @fffsksixj @whatsonthemirror @jcrml @reiners-milkbiddies @unr-u-1y @bakugosgf2005  @whoisneth  @bluephoenix908   @asmosslut @laurenzitaa @uniqueeggtoast @arlertsbaby @ilivefortheleague @mytaiyakeylover @niko-ash

[erial-c]

my top ten redacted boys (because i am but a bandwagoner of trends)

1. sam - took me a bit to like him ( haven't even finished his playlist yet) but god his character hurts me, he and darlin have gone through so much shit . the video talking about the future with your vampire mate basically sealed the deal on him being my favorite character, and after reading one of the bright eyes series transcripts, it makes me even more interested in his character . (and his southern accent may or may not have awakened something in me)

2. avior - is it obvious i like tragic characters yet . his series is one of the first ones i've listened to fully, and the chokehold that the plot twist had on me was insane . the realization that he had loved starlight so much that he deus ex machina'd them out of the hellscape, and then was silently YEARNING when they were pulled back . i was sobbing you don't understand officer. also love his early sarcastic personality (despite it being a facade) and his constant need to wax poetic, i wish we still saw a little bit of that in his newer audios though

3. guy - ohh the love of my life . the only comfort character ever . babygirl . he does exude millennial cringe sometimes but i can gloss over all that because i love him  🫶🫶🫶 also love his dynamic with honey they r so cute together . his flashback audio is so good AUGGHH the tension . personal favorite audio of him though is his first sick video , because i am THE guy angst enthusiast and it's the closest i'll ever get to it . he is sooo silly idc i always binge his playlist when i can't sleep (ironically i always listen to the one where he attempts to help honey sleep and it works 🫶)

4. lasko - babygirl #2 🤞🤞🤞 love him he is just an overall sweet character . i've also said this before but, him being labelled early on as submissive irked me because i usually found those character tropes annoying and they tended to be infantilized . but the thing is with lasko its not his entire characterization , he's still a very good professor at the academy and ughhhqhh i know how 2explain it i jst love him (also. his slip up in the hot boi summer audio. he is freaky .)

5. geordi - his and cutie's story is so interesting . i love their storyline so much even if it hurts to listen to the audios . they're both flawed characters in a relationship but they're still taking the necessary steps to be better. additionally, while i definitely don't stand for the shit cutie did, i can relate to them in the sense of needing to know what people are thinking to function properly, which is probably another reason why geordi and his storyline hits so close to my heart . (is that corny. maybe)

6. asher - one of the reasons im in the fandom tbh !! he's one of the first characters i got into, specifically his valenweek flashback audio i ate that shit up . . i don't listen to him that much now but still !!! i owe me being here to his character lol

7. hush - creature/babygirl . i was kinda intimidated to listen to his playlist (for god's sake his title is "mysterious stranger") but ohhhh i love him he is so strange. tying doc up in one video and then asking them to hold his hand a few videos later??? love that . him showing up in carpe deus and fucking wrecking vega kinda sealed it for me . love theorizing about him too, if that's not obvious 🫶

8. porter - when i heard the voice that this character had. i can't even explain to you what my reaction was . he's such a fucking diva i love it so much , this guy is like 80% snark, and he just fucks with vincent for no reason .(when he said he was gonna bring treasure to the summit but didn't 😭) he's also so interesting . while ya he was sent to go to the summit and assassinate a clan king (which he succeeded in) he told sweetheart about the bennets discussing their partnership with closeknit so they could get necessary info, he provided an alibi for vincent, he also stopped grilling sam when darlin told him to . (also his 2nd video with treasure . killed me tbh)

9. marcus - not proud to admit that marcus is the first character i came across on erik's channel . marcus is weirdo number 1 (derogatory) and i just find his storyline so interesting. yeah its sad why he did what he did, but overall he knew what he was doing , he fucked everyone else over, and compromised a project, of which the failure could mean life and death, just because he wanted to get freaky with the robot . his obsession and little impulse control being overrun by the asset's obsession with him. GOD . . the satisfaction i felt when he was taken away 🫶

10. caller - weirdo (compliment) . again as a horror enthusiast i love this guy . he's like ghostface but if ghostface could phase through walls/was already in your house (and also weird and obsessive) . his audio made me have the same reaction when watching horror content : "holy shit i love this but also i hate this" 10/10 . he's only last because he has one (1) video . 💔

honorable mention:

gavin - GAVIN LOVE OF MY LIFFEEEE . i really did wanna put him on my list but i haven't listened to the freelancer series properly yet!!!! this is not a matter of him being my least favorite but rather not knowing much about him in depth yet !!!!

[moonbyulsstuff]

Hey! Can you write headcannons about dating known top dogs in questism? I mean Seok, Sehyun and Jaeha (we don't know north top dog so dhdhdh)

If not, just Jaeha please? I actually read your v-hit headcannons and I enjoyed them! Ohh right, GN reader is fine right?

Dating the Top Dogs of Gangbuk Headcannons.

GN Reader.

Requested.

Masterlist.

Request Rules.

Suhyeon Kim:

Insecure Suhyeon at the end, minor angst, fluff, kinda crack?

This poor boy does not know what to do.

This was his first time dating someone, so he doesn't know what to do.

But you, who had past relationships before. knew what to do.

But to him, it was hard but it got easy over time.

Dating him would be pretty chaotic.

Its always you coming to save his ass whenever he's in trouble, and you scolding him afterwards.

But since you were dating Suhyeok, it was obvious you would get targeted by others.

Wanting to get back at Suhyeok by attacking his partner.

So Suheyok was by your side at all times or have Hajun. Haru, or Kuja by your side whenever you go out without him.

He just wants you to be safe.

When it comes to anniversary, he's a nervous wreck.

He thinks that every gift is not perfect, since to him, you're a perfect being in his eyes.

So he usually asks help from the others but they don't know jack shit about romance and never experience dating before.

Suhyeok usually ends up getting you, chocolates, teddy bear and things that are cliche stuff. But you of couse appreciate and usually give him a kiss, or something that you put together.

If someone had hurt you, the person would get a threat from the gang for hurting their boss partner.

But if you two got into an argument, and it was Suhyeok fault. He would find ways to apologize to you, giving you flowers, kneeling down on the ground for hours, or if you want some time before forgiving him. He would leave you alone while leaving some little flowers by your door.

But if it was your fault, he would wait for you to calm down. While also talking to you a few hours after the argument so that the two of you can have a calm conversation about it.

He's a very loving boyfriend.

Affectionate, like really, really, clingy and affectionate.

He would whining if you ever leave him, even if it's just a moment.

And he get's jealous very easily, Suhyeok would clung onto if he ever saw someone flirting with you.

Suhyeok is just in love with you so much, but has a sense of fear lingering the back of his head that you will find someone so much better than him.

Someone that can give you a comfortable life rather than you being with him in a life full of gang and criminals.

There were some nights that had him thinking of breaking up with you, but never fully went through it because he knows how you love him and he loves you too much to do so.

So, he appreciates every moment where you tell him that you don't mind being with him, even if his life is full of fighting and gang activity and such.

Its makes him tear up at the comforting words you say to him.

He's so glad to have you and have you by his side.

Seok Kang:

minor yandere Seok, obsessive behavior, fluff.

Seok had experience on dating prior on dating you, so he knew what he was doing.

Seok is a soft and caring man towards you, you are the only one that can bring out his soft and caring side to you.

He deeply cares for you and would kill anyone for you.

If someone ever hurt you, you bet Seok is already threatening them.

Seok likes hugging you around , just having his arm wraps around your waist, arm is enough to keep calm for the rest of the day.

If you two ever got into an argument, and it was Seok fault, he would try and talk to you but if you don't want to see him for a meanwhile, he would you some space before coming back and trying to apologize to you

But if it was your fault, Seok would give you some time to cool off and waiting for you to apologize and also talking to you.

Seok is good at getting you gifts during your anniversary, each time is more much elegant and beautiful than last time.

He would take all of his time to find you the perfect the gift, and he would make sure that it was the most perfect and beautiful gift than last time.

It usually leaves you speechless when Seok shows up with the gift on your anniversary.

You pay him back by usually doing what he wants for the day, but it usually ends on what you want to do since he's content on just spending the day with you.

Seok gets jealousy but not easily as Suhyeon.

He knows that won't leave him for another person just because they flirted with you.

But if he does, oh boy, does it get interesting.

He would start whispering to your ear and kissing your hand making the son who was flirting with you, back off.

There were a lot of people who were after you since you Seok partner, so you always had bodyguards with you. Everywhere you go to make sure you weren't in danger.

Does he ever have the same thoughts as Suhyeon? No, of course not.

He won't let himself think that way, as to him that's a sign that he doesn't love and trust you enough.

So refused to think that way.

He knows you love him and he loves you.

Jaeha Han:

minor angst at the end, overprotective Jaeha, fluff.

Just like Seok, he had prior dating experience before, but it was usually a one month relationship before it ended.

But this was the first long relationship he ever had with anyone, so it was surprise to him and everyone who knew about his dating life.

He was nervous, he didn't know what to but you were there to reassure him and lead him along the way.

Over time, Jaeha got overprotective of you which if someone ever hurt you, Jaeha would be a manipulative, cunning bastard, basically threatening them while also shaming them.

And since you are Jaeha Han partner, a lot of people were after you.

So Jaeha was always by your side 24/7 since he doesn't trust any of his guys enough to be alone with you, tbh. He doesn't like the thought of someone else other than him being alone with you.

He had never experience an anniversary before, since his relationships only end after 1 month, so he gets you some chocolate, teddy bear, flowers, F/F and much more just for you.

And whenever you would surprise him with a gift, he would keep it at his room, and stares at it sometimes as it comforts him.

Whenever you two got into an argument, and it was his fault. He would storm out of the house/apartment to let out some steam, he would be gone for hours and would be back and was already kneeling down on the ground, apologizing to you.

But if it was your fault, he would force you to sit down with him and talk to him. He doesn't want the day to end with a bitter taste on his mouth.

Does Jaeha get jealous very easily? Yes, way more than Suhyeok.

The way he deals with it is by hugging you while flipping the person off, while saying.

"Their taken, fuck off."

His behavior surprise you but you found it funny and endearing to say the least.

Does he have the same thoughts as Suhyeok? Yes and No.

He does think of it but shook that though off with saying that his loyal to you and you are loyal to him.

And you have already reassured him about it when he talked it about to you.

That made Jaeha smile, happy at the reassurance.

[donghoonie-3]

New Manager???

✧.* Part 4: Feeling any better? ✧.*

m.list ♡ previous ♡ next

Warnings: slight angst? Sunghoon is a bit sad plus he's got a hangover. Not proof read 🤕 if I make any mistakes and you wanna tell me feel free to lmao.

NOTE: I tried not making it confusing since I wrote two parts that happen at the same time 🤕 so for yours to know they're happening at the same time I put at the start of yns pov "it's 1pm" and rhe same thing for sunghoons pov. But I think with the description of hoon it'll be obvious that's its at the same time aksnsn gonna shut up now 😍.

Its 1pm, you park your car in the parking lot. You get your things and get out of the car with Heeseung, making your way to the apartment the boys share which is close to the hybe building.

"Did yous have fun last night?" You ask Heeseung, referring to when they went out drinking. "Huh?" He looks at you confused, not knowing where you got that information from. "Sunghoon told me, he actually wanted me to go with yous but I wasn't able to" you explained.

He "ohhs" to your explanation, "why weren't you able to go?" Heeseung asks, you both stop in front of the apartment door and you search through your bag for the keys. "I had some work to catch up on" you say and the boy nods to your reasoning. You take the found keys from your bag and open the door. You both make your way up to the room the boys share, you live in the same apartment as them which is common for managers.

Once you're at the room you open the door and walk in. "We're here!!" Heeseung shouts but gets no response. You place the bags with groceries on the kitchen counter and start to unpack everything. "Should I help you with anything?" Heeseung asks you but you shake your head, "no no it's fine, I got it" you say.

"If you say so...I'll go take a shower then" he says as he watches you take things out the bag, you hum in response and then he leaves.

As you finish with the bag you start to put the things you bought to where they should go. You wonder how Sunghoon is doing, hoping his headache has gone down at least a bit. For the past two days you've been with the boys he really caught your attention. You don't think much of it though, it's not like you can anyways. You have to keep things professional or else you'll most likely get fired.

Once you're done with all the groceries you make some soup and tea for the boy you were thinking of. It should help with the hangover. You bring the food and painkillers to him.

"Hey, it's me yn" you say knocking on his door. "Come in!!" You hear Sunghoon shout from his bedroom so you come in. You notice how tired he sounds.

You see Sunghoon sitting in his bed, lightly smiling at you. "Feeling any better?" You asking him as you place the food you made him on the bedside table.

"I wish I could say yes" Sunghoon laughs it off. "Well...this should help, and I got you painkillers too" you smile and hand him the pills, he looks up at you as he reaches his hand out for the packet, you notice how pretty his eyes are. Almost getting lost in them. The way his eyes are literally sparkling. So pretty, you think.

"Thank you" Sunghoon says which confuses you. Did he hear what you thought? Or did you say it out loud by an accident?? "What?" You ask him.

"The pills, Thank you for getting me them and the food" he giggles. Thats when you realise your hand is still on the packet that you're handing to him, his hand being on it too. You're such an idiot yn!!! You think to yourself. "Oh! Yeah haha, no problem" you awkwardly say, taking your hand back to yourself.

While you're busy dying of embarrassment, you don't notice Sunghoons cheeks and ears getting red from you looking at him for a little too long which he's not complaining about. Hes grateful that you seemed to not notice his blush.

"I'll get going now" you say softly and turn around, walking away. "Oh yeah and we have a meeting with txt later, if you cant go it's fine. You should really rest" you quickly say and turn to him then walking out.

It's 1pm, Sunghoon scrolls through twitter and sees the post Heeseung and you made. He pouts as he sees them. "I only met her, there's no way..." he thinks out loud. He doesn't know why he's feeling this way. Why his stomach flips when he saw those posts. Is it jealousy? But why? He doesn't want his feelings to get to him so he ignores it.

He turns his phone off and gets out of bed. Making his way to the kitchen to get something to eat, like you told him to. Hopefully the headache will go away. "Hey Sunghoon" Jay greets him from the kitchen table. "Hey" Sunghoon says back.

He makes himself a quick sandwich and pours himself some water before sitting down next to Jay. "You okay? You look tired" the older asks. "Yeah just got a hangover." Sunghoon replies bluntly. And for some reason feeling jealous. Sunghoon thought.

The thing Sunghoon always ends up doing when he get too deep into his thoughts is zoning out, going into a little place of his own. Without realising, Jay took a photo of him while he was thinking of the annoying strange feeling.

"We ran out of painkillers didn't we?" Jay says while looking at his phone, ready to make a tweet thinking nothing much of it. "Yeah but yn said she'd go get them" Sunghoon says, snapping out of his thoughts.

"She said it in the group chat. She's also going with Heeseung" the younger continued as be got up to put his plate and cup into the sink and washing them. "Ah okay" Jay replied, putting his phone down.

Once Sunghoon was done wish his dishes he dried his hands and left the kitchen with a quick bye to Jay. He lays on his bed and unlocks his phone, checking twitter again which is when he sees Jay's posts.

A couple minutes after the little chit chat under Jay's tweet the member shows up in his bedroom. Sunghoon looks at the direction of his door opening, seeing him with a slightly worried look. "You sure you okay?" He asks as he goes to sit on the chair Sunghoon has in his room by the desk. "Yeah" Sunghoon doesn't make eye contact.

"You know I can tell when somethings up" Jay replies, wanting to know if his friend was okay. "It's honestly nothing, if anything did happen I'd tell you" Sunghoon tells him, making eye contact again.

"Fine" the older sighs, "I'm in my room if you change your mind" he says before getting up to leave.

Another while goes by and Sunghoon hears Heeseung shouting across the place. He decides to stay in his room though. Scrolling on his phone, sitting comfortably in his bed and trying to get through his day with his awful headache. He's not drinking that much again.

All of a sudden he hears a knock on his door following by your soft voice, it makes him smile. He tells you to come in and as soon as he sees you he also notices the soup and tea you brought him. He's known you for two days and you're already making him feel warm? He doesn't care though, he doesn't care about that weird feeling he had when you and Heeseung went shopping. He's happy to see you and only you right now.

"Feeling any better?" He hears you ask as you place the food on his bedside table.

Taglist: @hoonieswhore @en-happiness @beommii @stellarpsh @thisisnotjacinta ( If you wanna be added to this taglist, let me know!! Please have your age in bio. )

[torrtimandi]

fanfic asks: 4, 8, 12, 29!

4. a story idea you haven't written yet

Does the next chapter of already existing story count? Because I've plenty of ideas when it comes The Hitchhiker but that I cannot exactly bring myself to write it down yet 😭 But for real, I've got recently this idea for some kind of a Cowboy AU... Well, obviously the boys are into that aesthetic, so it's nothing new, but the difference is that this particular idea is set in France and not in America as if you might expect. Because, you see, I've been in southern France now, in a region that is famous for its horse and bull culture, and there are guys called gardians who are basically French cowboys, with hats and everything! So yeah, the modern AU where Gaspard has escaped to the south of France to live a peaceful, quiet life of a French cowboy. One day, however, he meets a tourist named Xavier, who is fascinated by Gaspard's apparent parisian accent and his past that led him to such a path of life... They talk, they ride horses, they do gay shit. That's it! Haha (yeah, very silly, I know...)

8. if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you'd write one for...

Probably Beside You in Time! Gaspard the Knight deserves a proper tale! I'd really love to expand on this theme, if I only had some more strength and less of a writing block...

12. a trope you're really into right now

Ohh, there's so many but if I've to choose one... some proper fucking pining with a bit of an angst on top of it, I think.

29. how easy is it for you to come up with titles?

I'm one of those people who finds it easier to just write the story than to come up with the title and summary... So it's always the last thing I do and usually I come up with the title just before I post the story. Most of the time I also steal the title from songs that more or less fit the theme.

Thank you so much for asking!!! Had fun answering these :D

[zukkaoru]

AHHH I LOVE SHIP ASKS!! tachigin and/or nobamaki? <3

tachigin

What made you ship it?

so you see the thing about having gin as your favorite character is that it is. so so hard to find any fics or art about them. i actually started out only liking platonic tachigin and being firmly against romantic tachigin but then i read some tachigin fics bc i was so desperate for anything gin-centric and. i sort of fell headfirst into the ship

What are your favorite things about the ship?

the fact that they can work so well together without gin even needing to speak,, the angst of the betrayal,, gin giving tachihara a sexuality crisis while he thinks they're a boy and then another crisis when he finds out they're not a boy but also not a girl....

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

when people refer to tachigin as a het ship i bring out my knives. also i once saw someone say that tachigin would be infinitely more popular if gin wasn't revealed to be a girl and they were absolutely right

-

nobamaki

What made you ship it?

the scene between them after maki breaks apart the fight between nobara and mai ("i really respect you, maki-san!")

What are your favorite things about the ship?

i do love a good "gfs who could both kill you" ship and also just.. the idea of the two of them slowly getting more comfortable around each other and letting themselves be vulnerable (the potential for this post-shibuya is especially good,,, ohh post-shibuya nobamaki would be so good if only gege wasn't a coward)

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

i don't think i have any for them

[sarahmadpeople]

Unappreciated (p.2)

a/n : here’s part 2 and more angst on the wayy ^^ also i’m no medical expert so any medical scenes might not be accurate,, again, i don’t own any of them :) anyways enjoyy ~~

Words : 2K+

Warnings : None

Part 1 | Part 3

~

"Ohh, is that so? Good job then" Inseong patted his back then parted ways with Eric, heading to SF9 waiting room.

Eric stood frozen, he was happy to be told good job but what does it mean when people didn't even notice him performing. Eric's eyes immediately teared up and he stayed in the restroom for a good 30 minutes before composing himself and got back to the waiting room.

"Eric! Where did you go? Gosh, I was so worried" Jacob placed both his hands on Eric's shoulder.

"Sorry hyung, i had a bad stomach ache just now, that's why it took me long in the toilet" Eric reassured his hyung with another lie. Then Jacob's worry dissipated even though he was partly unsure of the reason given by Eric. But he decided to just drop it.

Then, a staff came in to inform them that they should be going to the studio for the ranking evaluation which announced that The Boyz was in 5th place. It was undeniable that the boys felt down due to the ranking, especially Eric who felt that his best wasn't good enough. Maybe that's why nobody thanked him or told him good job, because he hadn't done a good job.

Eric didn't feel better at all after the results and 2 days after he found out that the show had missed out on taking his fancam.

It had to be that day that they were about to start with the new performance's practice.

~

"Eric! Focus please, we're already ranked as number 5 and you still want to slack off," Hansol scolded Eric after not getting the right move for the dance. "Do you or do you not want The Boyz to succeed? If you do, then put in the same amount of effort that the others put in to make this a success!" Hansol raised his voice and that was the last straw for Eric. His patience for the weeks he endured burst and Eric immediately left the room without saying a word.

"Eric!" Jacob shouted and ran after him but Hansol hyung stopped him, "Let him go, he probably doesn't want to help you all in Kingdom."

"Hyung but-" Jacob wanted to follow Eric and, not the first time, check on Eric but again he was cut off by their choreographer, "let's just continue with our practice, he'll come around."

-

Eric ran and ran, not bothering to even have a slight thought about practice. He didn't even know where he was, suddenly he reached a bridge where there was no one, no vehicle, nothing. Eric collapsed near the ledge of the bridge. Eric sobbed for his life, nobody was there for him to stop it, so he released his emotions that had been pent up for weeks.

‘See even Hansol knows you didn't do much for The Boyz. What you did is nothing in comparison to what your hyungs did’ a voice said in his head.

‘You're just a waste of space’ again the voice in his head tormented.

Eric tried blocking off this voice tormenting him but it kept going on and on about how his efforts in The Boyz are not enough, not seen by others and how he was not good enough to make anyone proud of him.

Eric was too into his head, he didn't realise it started raining. But he didn't care, he stayed there crying again and again until his eyes closed and Eric eventually passed out on the ledge.

~

"Aish, Eric, why are you not answering the phone?" Jacob sighed and tried calling Eric again.

They have been practicing for 4 hours and were given a break but Eric still has yet to come back. Rationally, Jacob hoped Eric went back to the dorm but he was starting to worry when Eric didn't pick up the home phone, because Jacob knew Eric didn't bring his phone with him, after he called numerous times during their break.

"Guys, I'm really worried. I don't think Eric went home," Jacob said, looking at the other boys who were resting against the wall.

"He is a grown up, Jacob." Juyeon said and almost immediately Jacob frowned, "I know he is a grown up but he is only 21 years old, Juyeon, and did you not see his face before storming out? He looked dejected and sad after hearing what Hansol hyung said."

"Yeah, okay but what hyung said is true, he cannot be slacking off-"

"Okay stop this instance!" Jacob stopped Juyeon.

"Do you realise what you're saying? This is Eric we're talking about, he never slacks off, he always puts on his best for The Boyz. Please, as long as I'm here, don't talk about him like that." Jacob turned to Sangyeon, "Another 2 hours and if Eric is not back yet, I'm going to look for him, with or without all of you." Right after, Hansol hyung went into the studio and continued their practice.

As Jacob expected, after 2 and a half hours, Eric was still not back at the studio. "Sangyeon, I'm not staying any longer. i'll meet you back at the dorm" Jacob picked up his bag and went out without saying anything to Hansol hyung, he knew Hansol hyung would get mad but at that point of time all he cared about was Eric.

As soon as Jacob got out of the company building, it was raining cats and dogs. ‘Eric, please, be in the dorm’. Jacob knew he didn't want Eric to be out in the rain but he couldn't be so sure.

Jacob called his manager to pick him up and get him to their dorm.

"Jacob-ah, what's wrong? Why are you alone?" their manager, Jibeom hyung, asked once Jacob got into the van.

"We're not done with practice yet but I wanted to find Eric, make sure he's okay" Jacob told his manager.

"What happened to Eric?" Jibeom hyung was confused. Jacob sighed and explained to their manager what occurred during practice 6 hours ago.

"Poor boy, he doesn't deserve to be talked to like that. Then why are you the only one keen to find him? Why are the rest not coming along?"

"I don't know hyung," Jacob sighed for the upteenth time that day.

"It's okay, I'll get Jiwook to tell the boys their practice will end early today"

Jacob turned to his hyung, relieved at the mention of their co-manager and the decision to end practice early because honestly, he knew it was important that the boys are together after he finds Eric.

~

"Hyung, I apologise on behalf of Jacob. He's just worried that Eric's not back yet, we all are" Sangyeon apologised seeing Hansol hyung's angered expression after Jacob abruptly left.

"We'll just continue without them then-"

"I'm afraid not, the boys will end practice here and head back to the dorm. This is strictly ordered by Jibeom hyung" Jiwook entered, relaying the information, cutting Hansol off from what he wanted to say.

"Boys, pack up. I'll be waiting for you at the lobby. The rest of you may head back and get some rest as well." Then Jiwook left.

Jiwook hyung was not a strict and serious person but his tone was serious enough to know that the situation was not up to debate. So they instantly packed up their belongings and met their co-manager at the lobby before being driven back to their dorm.

"Hyung, is Eric at the dorm?" Sangyeon timidly asked. It was rare to see their co-manager so serious.

Jiwook shook his head, "He's not at the dorm. Jacob and Jibeom hyung are finding him right now."

Hearing this, the rest of the boys couldn't help but be worried for their maknae, especially Sangyeon. ‘Please, don't let anything happen to Eric,’ Sangyeon prayed.

~

"Where could he be?" Jacob asked, looking around at the street from inside the car.

When he arrived at the dorm, he knew Eric was not home, his shoes were not there, the dorm was too quiet and upon checking every corner of the dorm, there was no evidence of Eric being there. He quickly ran back to the van and told Jibeom hyung that Eric was not there.

Jibeom hyung became more worried seeing that the rain was heavy and if Eric was out there in the rain, he might be getting hypothermic.

In an instance, Jibeom drove with Jacob around the area to find Eric.

They have been searching for Eric for about an hour but still no signs of Eric. Jacob's heart was beating so fast, fearing for the safety of his youngest dongsaeng.

1 hour and 30 minutes into the search, Jibeom drove near a bridge where there seems to be no one around but he gave all the credits for Jacob's sharp eyesight when he exclaimed there was someone lying on the ledge of the bridge.

Jacob knew they had to go and help this person even though they were in the midst of searching for Eric. But Jacob didn't expect to see that it was Eric who was lying on the ledge.

"Hyung! It's Eric!" Jacob shouted and ran to Eric only to find his youngest dongsaeng pale, bluish and freezing. Jibeom ran towards them with blankets and soon wrapped Eric with them and picked Eric up, bringing him to the van.

"Eric-ah, wake up please, wake up for hyung, please" Jacob begged, trying to get Eric to wake up but failed to do so. Jacob hugged Eric tightly, not wanting to let his youngest dongsaeng be away from him.

"Jacob, we're here"

Jacob looked up and saw that they were at the hospital. Jibeom helped carry Eric to the emergency room where the doctors and nurses brought Eric to a private treatment room and asked Jibeom and Jacob to wait outside.

"I'm going to call Jiwook and let him know what happen and ask him to tell the others" Jibeom stood up to make a phone call to Jiwook.

~

"All right, thanks hyung. Update me when you have any news" Jiwook ended the call with Jibeom.

He turned towards the members of The Boyz and saw they were looking at him, waiting for any news of their maknae.

Jiwook sighed, "They found him at a bridge. They have a feeling Eric was there ever since he stormed out of practice. Jibeom brought Eric to the hospital to get checked out since he was unconscious. They'll let us know further once the doctors finish checking Eric."

The boys were glad they found Eric but still worried for their maknae's condition.

~

Finally, an hour later, "Sohn Youngjae?" Jacob and Jibeom stood up hearing Eric's name being called.

A doctor, who seemed to be around his thirties, approached the 2 gentlemen.

"I'm Doctor Lee, I'm Youngjae's doctor in-charge. I'm assuming you're his managers?"

Jacob shook his head, "I'm Jacob, his group member. This is Jibeom, he is our manager" Jacob pointed at his manager by his side.

The doctor nodded and continued, "Okay, I understand. So let me explain what's going on with Youngjae. He presented with symptoms of hypothermia when he was brought in. His body temperature was below normal body temp. So we got him warm saline to increase his body temperature. He'll be admitted here until we deemed him fit to go home. Once he's settled, I'll get a nurse to bring you to his private room."

Listening to the doctor's simple explanation, Jacob and Jibeom nodded in understanding and felt the burden lifted from their shoulders, knowing that Eric was going to be okay.

"Thank you, doctor" Jibeom thanked Doctor Lee who waved it off saying it was his job and he wished speed recovery for Eric.

"I'm going to call Jiwook again to update him." Jibeom went to the other side of the hallway to make the phone call.

~

"Boys, Eric's going to be okay but he needs to stay in the hospital for a few days. He was hypothermic. I'll bring you all there tomorrow okay, Eric needs his rest right now" Jiwook told the awaiting members of The Boyz. He could see the relief that washed over the boys, knowing he was going to be okay.

"Boys," Jiwook began, "you need to talk about what happened to cause Eric to leave in the first place. All of you know that Eric is a sunshine, working hard to always prove himself. Hearing what Hansol said would have broken his spirits. You need to make sure Eric knows that his efforts are on par and appreciated. You all need to make sure you know that his efforts are worthy and they contribute to your success as a group. I'll talk to Hansol about his treatment towards Eric. Please, be there for Eric and each other.”

The members listened and nodded to what was said by their co-manager. They realised something was wrong with their maknae now and they vowed to make sure they resolve it once their maknae was better.

~

Jacob and Jibeom entered Eric's room quietly seeing that he was asleep on the bed which made him seem so small.

"Hyung?" Jacob looked up as he was seated on the chair beside Eric's bed.

"Eric-ah, mianhae, did i wake you up?" Jacob caressed Eric's head. Eric shook his head.

"Mianhae hyung, I'm sorry for leaving practice just like that. Are the others angry at me?" Eric spoke softly, fear and exhaustion obvious in his voice.

"Eric-ah, no, they're not angry with you, they're all worried and want to see you soon. But right now, hyung don't want you to think of all that, you need to rest, okay" Jacob caressed his arm.

Soon, Eric fell asleep with the soft lullaby by Jacob.

"Jacob, I'll get going, okay. The doctor gave permission for you to stay with Eric for the period he is here. But you take care of yourself too" Jibeom pat Jacob's shoulder and proceeded to be on his way.

Jacob watched over Eric as he slept, thinking about how long the younger one had been dealing with things alone. Jacob was not stupid, he knew that what Hansol hyung said alone would not cause Eric to break down this way. He had a feeling there was something deeper than what was said during practice. Jacob vowed to help his dongsaeng.

~

aandd that’s the angst,, how was it? sorry for any mistakes,, next up, fluff and the boys comforting uri eric-gi ><

Part 1 | Part 3

[bi-lullaby]

I love talking about SPN with you! Tough challenge if you're up for it: rank all 15 seasons from your personal favorite to least favorite, no ties allowed :) Have fun!

Oh dear. What a predicament you’ve put me in!

1. 1 (solid choice, me thinks. The vibes are Unparalleled. Introduced me to the LOML, Dean. Their early dynamics? Figuring out who they are, who the other is, who their family is? ugh. My heart. Also super interesting MootW episodes, charismatic, the cinematography deserves it’s own spot in the list, we feel like the Winchesters: operating from a shadowed world that’s interwoven with ours but also separate)

2. 2 (still the same vibes of the first but also angrier? there’s findings and secrets and an overachieving trama of trauma and family and grief and deep wounds from the past and revenge and worry. love it)

3. 4 (It makes me angry, sad, happy, hopeful, devastated, all of that at once and then more. I feel it’s one of the most fundamental stories to the plot of everything that comes later and it sets what came before against a solid background of the whole angels/demons/apocalypse/vessels/fate narrative, sets up a lot of the lore, it’s just genuinely good and enjoyable. Great television.)

4. 5 (The world is ending and we have no hope to stop it and yet we will? ugh. Also the reconnection of the boys. Fighting so hard for a goal that seems impossible and finding their way back tot he other. I feel this is when Cas becomes more friend than ally, which is lovely. The longing, the grief, the guilt, the horror, the hopeless and yet that doesn’t take away their fight in the end. Also In the End and Dark Side of The Moon are just. Spectacular. This one gets me every time)

5. 3 (so much angst. so much uncertainty. The unknowns. I feel this one isn’t higher only bc I watched already knowing the outcome or most of it in a way, bc I knew Dean would be alive and well for years to come bc I started when spn was further along, but for fans who watched on time? must have been a punch to the stomach).

6. 8 (I hadn’t realized how much I loved season 8 until today lol, lots of annoyances and grievances but still I enjoy and analyze it to death. I love love love Purgatory, the dynamics of the Purgatory Trio, BENNY, Kevin as a bigger character, the animosity between Sam and Dean (srsly, I think all the fics I have written mention/deal with this issue bc I’m just fascinated by both their headspaces in this and how it impacts them going forward. The trials are interesting although I felt they were a bit mishandled, and of course the many fallouts from it.)

7. 9 (same initial comment as season 8 tbh. I feel like early seasons dean is hanging on by a thread to the very end of his rope (trauma, pain, grief, etc etc) but he is hanging in there, ya know? And he wants to fight and he knows his whys. then as the years go on and the losses pile on and the pains and the more and more he’s backed into impossible corners he loses the will to hang on and I think this season is the one where we see in look at that rope and go “and why the fuck am I holding on to this?” and it’s painful and heartbreaking but also makes you cheer him on and wish for him to fet through this. I like the Bunker being a more established home base for them. I enjoy Abbadon and Metraton as antagonists although I do feel they ended up… Underwhelming? Underexplored? And Dean’s is one of my ‘favorite’ deaths the boys had. It’s so impactful and poignant.

8. 12 (I almost put it lower but alas, so many Dean/Dean-Mary dynamics moments I could not. Not the biggest fan of the BMoL but I see where they were going. I think bringing Mary back was a move that could have gone horribly wrong and in a sense I feel like it maybe wasn’t the most thematically consistent? but it allowed for fun explorations of many characters. Also, Regarding Dean is off the charts good.)

9. 6 (ohh the drama. the fallout. the would’ves should’ves could’ves. I have a love-hate relationship with soulless!sam that tends more towards love but overall a great one. I miss Lisa, there, I said it. I loved them together. I wanted them to remain that way. I loved seeing Dean be turned into a vamp, also.)

10. 10 (not much to say. I adore MoC and all about it, but I do wish some things were better handled/had more impact/were more thought out/better shown etc. Overall, great idea, not my favorite execution).

11. 11 (again, love parts, don’t love others so much. I will say, in my “dean lets go of his rope” analogy, this one is where I think he’s slowly starting to climb out of the hole he’s fallen into and see “his whys” more clearly again).

12. 7 (idk why people seem to hate 7 so much? I can’t say it’s supper impacting but it has it’s positives. And Bobby’s death! It’s so impactful, it’s genuinely a mark of splitting eras in my mind.)

13. 14. (Michael!Dean my dearest of dears. You were not here for long enough. Makes me angry and a little bitter but also great moments).

14. 13 (if you put a gun to my head I can’t recall season 13 specifically? felt like a “bridge” season ig, and I just… Don’t enjoy Jack. I know many people do, and you do you, absolutely! But he just felt like a shoehorned in deus ex machina wrapped in Cas’s more cute mannerisms and I just never connected with him or really enjoyed him as part of the family or the themes that followed his appearance).

15. (will never accept, will never like, will never enjoy, the ending is responsible for 97% of the hate for the whole season but tbh the forced “ohh look we’re meeetaaaa! it’s the lasssst sssseassssonnn” in your face level of annoyance didn’t make it all that great either. No but srsly don’t even get me started on the ending. I could spend an hour just incoherently babbling and crying and still not get my dislike across correctly).

This was quite tough, really. Thanks for the brain teaser, dearie!

[eyelessfog]

i also headcannon joe as hoh and i have a kinda sad backstory for him even tho he’s so scrunkly wet cat blorbo that i am physically incapable of using it anywhere cause i cannot make angst of him he is just so babygirlified in my head.

anyways so i think he’s the son of a poor fishing family and basically grew up on his family’s boat and then one day a navy recruiter enticed him to join the navy with promises of riches and adventure. but he ended up as a powder boy which was the people who’s job it was to run and bring gunpowder to the cannoneers during a fight and they were considered expendable which is why the navy recruited poor kids to do it. and he lost his hearing at some point during his time on the navy ship. idk exactly how hearing loss works but i figure he can still hear a bit and it’s better on one side so he doesn’t like when people come up behind him on the side of his bad ear cause he can’t hear them coming. he can probably hear enough to get by and then also lipreads. anyways so at some point the navy ship was boarded by pirates and joe was clever enough to talk his way into becoming a member of the pirates crew. i feel like joe is probably pretty weak physically so he makes up for it by being smart and cunning and he’s good at using words and his charisma to get people on his side. so now he’s a pirate and this is where he meets pete and gator and the rest of his crewmates. but the captain of the ship kinda sucks and joe is ambitious and wants to be captain so he convinces the rest of the crew to join him and they mutiny, overthrow the old captain, throw him overboard, and install joe as the new captain. and then joe is captain of his own ship and at some point he and skeletron become mortal enemies. but i feel like he’d probably have ptsd from the explosions and stuff. i think he’s also super paranoid and has imposter syndrome that feeds into his paranoia so he refuses to admit any weakness to his crew bc what if they decide to overthrow him like he overthrew the old captain and he’s not even a real pirate he’s just a powder boy who got lucky. the navy ship was a rlly shit environment and fucked him up. sorry this got so long i have many pirate joe thoughts

OHH i like how detailed this is!!! you put a lot of thought into it!!

[welightthefire]

Thank you for tagging me @streamingcolors-gvf 😘

I think it might be fun to look back on what we’ve all achieved this year, let you give yourselves a well deserved pat on the back and also share what you love. When you’re done maybe tag someone else so they can share too?

1. How do you feel 2022 has gone in terms of writing?

Ohh boy. I feel like in the beginning of the year, I hit the ground running. I had a lot of ideas and motivation, passion even, and was putting out my best work. Throughout the summer, mostly near the end, I started to lose steam and imagination and that’s something I’m struggling to navigate through right now. I’m hoping 2023 brings a refreshing bit of inspiration that I can really work with.

2. What pieces are you proudest of this year? It can be a shot/blurb/headcannon, a whole series or even a specific chapter.

Table For Two, without a shadow of a doubt. It was an idea that I came up with last November and sat on for quite awhile. I knew it was going to be a huge project and I wanted to collaborate with someone on it. I’m not the most sociable on here, so I mostly just posted my other writings for awhile and then the most beautiful soul showed up outta nowhere in April and not only did she quickly become one of my absolute best friends, she became the best co-author I could ever ask for to help me bring this idea to fruition.

3. Is there anything you posted that you wish had reached more people? (No such thing as a flop here!) Shout it out, it might catch a new pair of eyes!

Again, Table For Two. I have so much love for the group of readers following along in the adventures of the twins and Syd (and poor Sam), but it’s something that I am so incredibly proud of that I simply want everyone to read it.

4. Can you give us a hint of anything coming before the end of the year? Maybe even a little taster?

You’ll definitely get an update or two from @allieboop and I for TFT, maybe even the end of the series!! I’m also working on a Danny x reader blurb that will be out in the next week or so and a little secret something else, but I can’t say much of anything about it. 🤫

5. Are you setting any writing goals for next year, or just going with the flow? If you are, what are they?

I’m hoping to build my masterlist more. I have some works already in progress which you’ll see on the pinned post on my page, however they won’t be posted until late-winter/spring.

6. Do you have any one shots or finished pieces you're tempted to expand on or revisit next year?

Teach Me Tonight will be getting a part two once TFT is wrapped up and I get some of these other works out. There are some other things floating up in the air, but we’ll just have to see how things turn out first.

7. Is there anything new you're tempted to try out? A new style/trope/AU/another person in the fandom?

I would really love to try my hand at an enemies to lovers trope!! I’m such a sucker for angst when it comes to reading, however, I do find myself struggling to write it sometimes. I have such a fluffy soul lol

8. Now to hype some other writers! What's a piece you read back in the first half of the year that you can shout out?

Amongst The Stars by @samkiszkasfacialhair hands down. It was posted on my birthday this year and to this day, it is the most gut-wrenching piece yet stands as my favorite thing I’ve ever read on this hellsite.

9. And how about something you've read more recently?

Pink Lemonade (WIP) by @garbagevanfleet

Ego (all 3 Parts) by @allieboop

Seven (WIP) by @stardustchordssammy

The Number One Rule by @streamingcolors-gvf and @allieboop

10. A fun one to finish...If you could insert yourself into any fic in the fandom, which would it be and what do you think would happen?

Boys of Summer (WIP) by @streamingcolors-gvf

My girl is in the process of writing a slow burn and confusing the hell out of me and I have NO IDEA what’s going on rn or what to expect, but I can tell you (and she knows this) that I would end up with Jake 😌

Tagging @samkiszkasfacialhair, @stardustbarbarians, and @mintysammykiszka (apologies if you’ve already been tagged)