#oh. ohhh i am going to contemplate this

[kalashtars]

the last month of this semester has got me considering disappearing to another country more than any other moment of my life has before, which truly is saying something.

[arminsumi]

❀ 𝐈 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐘𝐨𝐮 | 𝟓 Gojo Satoru / Geto Suguru

Falling in love despite a language barrier.

𝐂𝐡. 𝟓 | 𝐖𝐜. 𝟒𝐤 | 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Summer with you felt fuller and brighter than any other.

Waving sparklers in the humid night air. Sore feet after walking for hours. Mesmerized by the feeling of life whirling around you. Winning a squish mallow from a claw machine and watching Satoru and Suguru rock-paper-scissor fight over who got to keep it. Listening to Satoru and Suguru’s murmured conversations, and feeling giddy when you got the gist of something they said. Feeling your heart throb and ears perk up when they mentioned your name. Laughing embarrassedly into a pillow when you tried to speak Japanese and got everything wrong — Satoru's enamored smile.

It felt like you were in a rush to enjoy everything sometimes, because your return flight date loomed in the back of your mind. Suguru was nervous to show you Japan in a light that you'd never forget, and Satoru was just oblivious to all the sight-seeing and festivals because you were far more captivating.

On the train ride deeper into the city, Satoru sat thigh-against-thigh with you. The both of you were very consciously aware of contact, the press and the warmth. At your left, Suguru leaned close, the fabric of his t-shirt grazing your arm giving you butterflies.

Heads together, all three of you took turns in Satoru's diary; writing your names, scribbling, doodling, until the page was filled from corner to corner.

They talked about Nanami, who was going to meet you for the first time.

Suguru giggled at something Satoru said, so you asked what he was laughing at.

"Satoru's scared that Nanami is going to show off his English to you." he said.

“Oh?” you smiled.

("... and!") Satoru added dramatically, interrupting Suguru, ("He better not flirt with her.”)

Suguru went completely red in the face and laughed.

("Satoru, You're acting very boyfriend-like.")

("... oh, am I?")

("Yes.")

Satoru stopped talking, went redder than Suguru, and sat back in his seat like he was contemplating himself.

"What?" you asked, looking between them.

"Nothing." Suguru feathered, covering his face to hide his smile, "Nothing at all."

*****

Even you were taken aback by Nanami's English, because he spoke more elegantly than you did — so you can just imagine what expression Suguru had when he watched the two of you interact for the first time at the festival.

"Satoru's my senior at work, even if he doesn't act like it." he said. Satoru looked at him suspiciously as he spoke.

"Ohhh, I see." you nodded, "Then, you two met at work or...?"

"No, we went to high school together.” Nanami said.

You nodded again, "Ah."

"... he talks a lot about you." Nanami said, "Talks my ear off at the water cooler about this girl who lives on the other side of the world — with the biggest stars in his eyes. It's nice that you two could finally meet."

You smiled, "Yeah... this summer has been amazing."

"Have you ticked everything off your bucket list yet?" Nanami asked.

"Yes — though, I missed Tanabata." you said. “Maybe next year.”

The two of you kept talking. When you laughed at something Nanami said, Satoru threw a jealous look at him. Then he and Suguru talked under their breaths.

(“Are they flirting?”) Satoru asked suspiciously.

(“They are not.”)

(“It feels like they are.”)

(“… you really are acting like a boyfriend, Satoru…”)

*****

A blue night sky deepened as you three walked across the street crossing, closer to where residents were gathered and some dancing around a raised stage.

"I wish I could experience December here, too." you sighed dreamily.

"Why don't you?" Nanami asked.

"... the flights are too expensive." you replied.

"... what a shame. A romantic like Satoru would be over the moon to spend December with you." Nanami said. "Maybe next year, you two can go as a couple."

You acted shyer after realizing Nanami assumed you and Satoru were dating, and it was incredibly funny because Satoru misinterpreted your shyness to be a response to Nanami's flirting — so he interrupted the conversation right there.

Suguru stifled a laugh. He didn't say anything, just watched you three like it was a sitcom.

("Nanami, you look a bit taller. Did you grow?") Satoru teased, physically comparing heights with him — which he only ever did when they were kids.

"..." Nanami stared at him. ("Why are you like this?")

Suguru was trying so hard to contain his laughter.

While Nanami and Satoru went back and forth with each other, Suguru grabbed the chance to have his own moment with you.

He talked a bit louder over the singing and drumming, right into your ear, as you watched, captivatedly, at people performing bon odori around the stage.

All you remember was feeling like Suguru’s voice was in your chest, truthfully you can't remember what he was explaining to you about the festival.

Then he went quiet and stared at you softly.

A weird, familiar feeling took residency inside his chest, and he thought;

(Oh... It's been a while since I last fell in love.)

But even if you had paid attention to him in that moment, would you have noticed the tenderness in his eyes?

Suguru got startled out of his love-struck daze by Nanami, who was leaving early.

("Satoru finally got on your nerves, huh?")

("Yes… no, not actually. I've just got sore feet.")

Satoru teased playfully, ("You just want to go home and take a bubble bath and listen to jazz like the old man you are.")

("Satoru, you're annoying. That's absolutely what I'm going to do, though.")

Nanami said goodbye for the night.

The sky blackened and the crowd thickened with more people, so Satoru took your hand in his and kept you close.

After an hour, the three of you headed out of the festival and went in search of a quieter place. Suguru observed you and Satoru holding hands. He stared and stared, then forced himself to snap out of it.

Satoru was quietly thinking, then said dramatically;

(“He was totally flirting with her!”)

And to this Suguru burst out laughing so hard, like all the laughter he held back earlier came out. A man with a laugh like that was definitely popular with boys and girls in high school, you’re certain.

(“How do you know?”)

(“… it sounded like it!”)

(“I can’t believe you’re such a jealous guy.”) Suguru shook his head, bearing a big smile, (“You even got jealous at me for flirting with her.”)

Satoru shrugged guiltlessly. 「僕は僕！」

“What is going on?” you asked laughingly.

Suguru could hardly translate or speak as he had a laughing fit on the street.

*****

When you walked out of an alleyway into a busier street and saw the neon glow of lights of a 7-Eleven, and a cyclist going by, and inhaled the night air, and heard all the city noises, and felt all the city feelings, this feeling whirled around you.

"Life feels different here." you commented, looking around you.

"... oh really?" Suguru hummed sarcastically.

You nudged his arm. "Don't be sarcastic. You know what I mean, don't you?"

"Yeah, of course. That feeling... like a spark...?" he teased, just to see the look in your eyes.

He spoke to Satoru, and Satoru said something and Suguru chuckled and translated for you, " 'You'll miss that feeling when you leave for home.' "

"... I'll miss you two more."

Hearing sentence made his heart fluttery. When Suguru translated it, it just didn't feel the same as hearing it in your voice. It made him wonder just how much he was missing out on by not knowing your language. What feelings were being lost in translation?

*****

The three of you headed out further, getting a bit lost in the city for fun.

The hot night called for ice cream, so Satoru and Suguru rock-paper-scissor fought for who would go to buy some.

"... 最初ぐう... じゃん拳ぽん... あいこでしょ... あいこでしょ... !"

Satoru pulled a funny face after losing that made you and Suguru laugh. He went on his way to the convenience store, navigating through a detour, stopping to pet a cat on his way back, and meanwhile... you and Suguru were left alone together, with that spark clearly fizzing between your chests.

*****

At the park, the two of you lazed in the grass, side by side, while waiting for Satoru to return from the convenience store with ice creams.

Eyes directed up at the sky, propped on his elbows, hair messy after a long evening. Suguru momentarily closed his eyes in bliss at the soft breeze fanning by.

Next to you, Suguru stretched out his long legs and stared deeply at the moon. It was blazing. The longer he stared at it in silence the more this feeling struck him.

He took a sideways glance at you, and you were obliviously enjoying the cool night breeze.

(Does she have a clue about how I feel right now?) Suguru thought softly.

"月が綺麗ですね..." he murmured romantically.

"Hm? What does that mean...?"

He turned his head to look at you, totally smitten.

"... the moon is beautiful, isn't it?"

"Oh. Yeah, it is." you agreed. "I haven't seen a moon so bright in a while."

Suguru chuckled dreamily.

(She's a clueless angel.)

No thoughts passed through either of your heads as you leaned into each other.

His features were too fuzzy to make out in this lighting, but you saw a hint of a tender expression on his face.

He inhaled deeply and got so high on the sweet, humid night air that he leaned into a kiss without thinking his action through — but it's alright, he only grazed his still lips over yours. He only hovered. It was just a sweet, shared breath if anything. Just a ticklishly light touch of lips grazing lips.

No thoughts. Just that spark in the air and heartbeats thumping quickly in your fingertips.

Then immediate realization hit him. He pulled away and apologized like he was shocked at himself.

"I'm so sorry." Suguru stressed, "I didn't mean to — I —I wasn't thinking."

"It's okay, don't apologize." you replied softly, unable to say more.

(What does she mean, "Don't apologize"? What does she mean…?)

Suguru began to ramble, and you watched his lips move as he spoke each syllable. His lips felt tingly, wanting— desperately — for a kiss.

He wanted to kiss you, but he couldn't.

"It's just — I haven't — you know, it's been years since... um, anyways. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore." He became out of breath, talking too fast.

Suguru drew in a breath like he was going to say something more, but then stopped speaking altogether because Satoru returned — with a plastic bag of convenience store ice creams swishing at his side.

“Hey hey.” he greeted the two of you, and sat down on the grass.

Satoru didn't sit between you and Suguru, rather, he sat in front of both of you, stretching his legs out onto the soft grass like a cat.

「顔赤いよ・・・」 Satoru wiggled his brows at Suguru.

You watched Suguru as he patted his hands against his hot cheeks to cool them.

Satoru giggled naughtily.

You looked between them and watched them have a small exchange, never learning what they said to each other in that moment. But you could gather Suguru's embarrassment and Satoru's teasing and mild jealousy.

Suguru grumbled to himself on the way home.

(We could have shared a movie kiss...)

*****

You fell asleep before Satoru — almost as soon as your head hit the pillow. He looked down at you for a moment, his gaze catching onto your parted lips, his ears picking up on your soft breathing.

(I hope you're dreaming of me.) he thought hopefully.

He stared for a bit, daydreaming.

The longer he stared, the more his face reddened and his heartbeat quickened. Eventually he crawled into bed next to you, keeping a distance but wishing so badly that he could cuddle you.

He was thinking about how unfair it was to be himself; to have to contain himself when he was such a romantic and emotional man, and not just that; a man in need of touching, kissing, cuddling. He felt a need for all of that more that night than at any other point in his life.

Satoru timidly inched closer and lifted his face to plant a kiss on your cheek. Just a tiny kiss. His lips hovered over you cheek, then over your lips. But he held back.

He pulled away slowly and smiled shyly to himself.

That satisfied his heart enough, he could calm down and sleep.

But in the other room, Suguru moved around sleeplessly in his bed like a hopeless insomniac.

*****

Curled into his pillow, cheeks warm, fist to lip and knees hugged, Suguru was daydreaming of how that moment could have gone differently if he had just kissed you.

And his daydream played out like a film, one full of scripted kisses, shot from every angle, replayed over and over to satisfy his little heart — the poor thing was beating in panic at his growing feelings.

Yes, he knew he liked you, but not like that. Not until now. Now that feeling was nearly in full throttle.

*****

Suguru's daydream of kissing you went on until it got light outside.

He thought, thought, thought. But a daydream wasn't enough to satisfy his need to kiss you. With a suppressed sigh, he rolled onto his side, hugged his ribs, and blinked his stinging eyes at the room as it lit up a dawn blue.

The room became lighter and lighter.

He leaned up in bed, blinked, then reached for his phone and opened yours and his chat. And he scrolled up into the texts that gave him butterflies. He stared at the blinking cursor, then typed out;

I wanted to kiss you.

Then he stared at your profile picture, and promptly erased what he had typed.

Instead, he wrote it in his notes app, as if it was his most guilty secret.

Then he cuddled back into his fortress of pillows, begged his mind for a dream of you, and fell asleep at 7 AM, sleeping a weak 3 hours before waking up again.

*****

You and Suguru were awake earlier than Satoru, who was still softly sleeping. The roar of early morning traffic reached the 7th floor, and the sunrise teased its appearance through the buildings.

Suguru watered the balcony plants in his flip flops.

And he did it lazily, in his baggy pants, with unbrushed hair. It was quite a sight to see, so you stared. He could feel your eyes on him and his heartbeat quickened.

He watered each plant with a cup of water, complaining that he keeps forgetting to buy a watering can for his ‘lil guys’.

Names were assigned to each plant, written on paper on toothpicks.

“… you named a plant… Dave?” you questioned.

“… what? It’s funny.”

He watered ‘Dave’ and looked closer, nearly nosing into the plant.

"Oh my god... he’s wilting." he genuinely panicked. "I swear I'm doing everything I can to keep him alive, it's like he just wants to die… keep it together, Dave."

You laughed and hovered over the plants with him. Suguru was frowning at his other plants as they looked unhappier than usual.

"Suguru, you're such a plant dad." you said.

His frown lifted, he looked at you and then his sweet smile lines showed up on his cheeks.

"Thanks."

When he made eye contact, and that something sparked in the air between you two. It sparked bigger than it ever had before.

"You look tired..."

I can't believe she notices that. How sweet.

He shrugged in response.

"I was thinking about you..." he trailed off.

You widened your eyes and went silent.

"— your flight." he lied and you knew it.

"... yeah, it's gonna be a long flight home." you swallowed hard, looking so deeply into his eyes that you got dizzy.

"You know what's weird? Right now, in this moment, it feels like you'll never leave." he said softly.

The following silence heightened the tension between you and him. He felt the urge to kiss you again. He felt it bad. His self-restraint was slipping, he couldn't discipline himself.

(A kiss is just a kiss, right?)

When you licked your lips, that’s when Suguru started to lean his face in. As his gaze flitted between your lips and your eyes, his heart panged.

He hesitated, you hesitated, he stuttered, you stuttered. He kissed you like a nervous mouse.

You were shocked even though you knew it was coming.

Even if the kiss lasted just a split second, that was long enough to catch a glimpse of heaven.

Suguru pulled back and looked at you unsurely.

"えーと" his lips twitched. "I — I'm — I — uh." he forgot how to speak completely, so stunned that his mother tongue and English tongue got tangled together.

You stared into his eyes and that's what got him, he went in for another kiss, this time harder – lips smacking together like you just needed each other. And as he exhaled against your face, you could feel all his passion.

His heart fluttered when you kissed him back with almost the same intensity. The heat and softness of someone else's lips was exactly what he needed at this time in his life, just to kiss someone who he really liked.

Gasping into the kiss, Suguru held onto your cheeks like you were his baby. When he ran out of breath, he pulled away and breathed a little heavier.

"I'm so sorry, I — " he said breathlessly.

" — no, it's o—o-okay." you stammered, feeling a bit out of it.

Both of you were digesting the moment when suddenly a bleary-eyed, sleepy Satoru came out onto the balcony, holding Mint against his chest. He was squinting and blinking at the morning sun.

Suguru immediately switched to nonchalance and acting as if nothing just happened. But his shoulders were stiff.

("Mint looks especially evil this morning.") his voice quivered a little.

("... you mean fluffy?") Satoru replied, petting Mint between her fuzzy ears.

("No, evil.") Suguru joked, ("She's a devil in dis—guise.") he choked on his words.

Satoru looked at him strangely and thought;

(Huh, Suguru doesn't usually choke on his words.)

Satoru stared at Suguru, looked at you, then looked back and forth between you and Suguru.

The air was thick.

"What?"

"What...?"

("What happened?") Satoru asked.

Satoru's sixth sense was insane. Like it was some scene in a comedy movie, he forwardly asked;

("Why do I feel like I interrupted something?") he said.

Suguru raised his brows and made a funny guilty face. You looked between them with wide eyes.

"I'm gonna go make some coffee..." you said, and scrambled to your feet like you were desperate to escape this awkward tension.

"... I'm gonna tell him." Suguru said.

"You're bluffing..."

"Nah, I'm an honest guy."

You groaned funnily, "Then I'm gonna go hide behind the coffee pot..."

Satoru looked confused. Once you headed inside, it was just him and Suguru there on the balcony.

The traffic was roaring louder by now. For a while it was the only sound between them, besides your distant clanking in the kitchen.

A long silence dragged out and then Suguru's words abruptly popped into existence.

"(YN)にキスした・・・"

"は?!"

Suguru made a guilty grimace and scratched the back of his head.

("What do you mean you kissed her? When was this?") Satoru's voice got higher.

("Uh, like right now.")

They went back and forth for a while. You heard them and had no idea what was being said.

("Thief.") Satoru said, calming down after a while.

("How am I a thief?") Suguru got defensive.

("You stole her kiss from me!") Satoru pouted childishly.

("... I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself.") Suguru lowered his head, ("Are you mad at me...?") he asked worriedly.

("... No, I'm not mad at you... well, a little bit.") Satoru mumbled, ("I'm more jealous than mad.")

(“So…”) Suguru looked at his best friend wearily. How could he not be furious? (“This is fine with you?”)

(“You can get away with it. If it were Nanami, I’d be throwing hands.”) he joked.

Suguru still felt like he was a puppy that did something wrong, but Satoru just didn’t seem to be taking it as seriously.

("... I've got a plan, okay.") Satoru said suddenly, ignoring Mint's silent begging for cuddles. ("I'm gonna kiss her at the airport, right before she leaves — ")

Suguru laughed, ("Are you procrastinating — ?")

Satoru cut him off and said 「やる よ！！！」 with such intensity and conviction that it made Suguru burst out laughing.

Hearing Suguru's laughter from the kitchen reassured you that everything went over fine.

*****

He stood in front of you.

(できる よ・・・) I can do it...

Satoru swallowed hard. Discretely wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. Nibbled his lip. Tried to act natural in the airport, looking to Suguru for inspiration on being nonchalant.

You were testing the clock by waiting until the very last minute to get onboard.

Just like you were procrastinating to board your flight, Satoru was procrastinating to kiss you. The three of you exchanged a look.

"Oh.” Suguru realized, “Go ahead. I’m not looking. I'm a plant." Suguru joked, covering his eyes.

He gave you and Satoru space, he thought it was fair. If he had his moment with you on the balcony, then Satoru deserved to have a moment with you. Now he understood how all-consuming the desire to kiss someone was.

(It has to be now, when else? I don't know when she'll be back for her next visit, I could be waiting a whole year. The universe knows how impatient I am. I've got to have her lips right now.) Satoru thought anxiously.

His body stuttered.

You were thinking to yourself, is this the wrong moment to kiss him? Is there ever a right moment anyways?

"Satoru." you said in a tone of goodbye, and outstretched your arms to him.

He leaned down into your embrace like the awkwardly tall man he was.

You clung to each other's bodies for a while. Such a clingy hug already spoke volumes. But still, Satoru just wanted to go that bit further — to spell his love on your lips.

He wanted you to board that plane knowing what his love tasted like, to sit in your seat with lips freshly tingling.

Yes, he knew nothing in life ever played out like in movies or daydreams, so he was hoping just once it would.

Last-minute doubt filled him and he felt his mood drop.

(… maybe I shouldn’t.)

Just as he pulled out of the hug, you reached up, cupped his cheeks with conviction, and gave him the biggest kiss that he'd ever received in his life right smack there on his lips.

"...?" His knees buckled, and redness grew on his cheeks very quickly.

He blanked so hard, but only for a second or two, because he dreamily tilted his head off to the side and deepened the kiss.

(yeah, 恋している。)

You pulled back. He stammered, stuttered, totally stumbled. He was all over the place now. He couldn't form a thought now.

Even if someone would have told him that he was on planet earth, he wouldn't have believed them, because your kiss definitely sent him to heaven.

"は、はずかしいな・・・embarrassed, I'm embarrassed." He chuckled nervously.

Suguru watched as you two broke down into giggles, then he came over to you two again.

"You know, that was very cute and all," he said, spooking the life out of Satoru who was just totally in his feelings. "But even the last-minute procrastinators have boarded the flight by now."

"Oh my god!" you panicked, "Um, yeah! Okay, okay I'm gonna go... I love you two. I'll come back soon, I promise. I promise."

Hugging goodbye for the last time hurt, and seeing you get teary-eyed made it hard for them not to cry too.

You went through the gates.

Satoru felt like you tore a piece of him and took it with you, and his whole body wanted to chase after you.

You waved and gave heart hands to them as much as you could until you disappeared out of sight.

Boarding the plane felt like a dream. After stowing away your bag in the overhead cabinet, you took your seat and stared blankly, lips feeling tingly and alive with Satoru’s lingering feelings on them.

*****

It was all over too quickly. Satoru licked his lips.

Idling to the window to watch your plane take off, both of them felt like they were on the verge of crying, Satoru a little more than Suguru.

(まだ いかないで。) Satoru frowned.

*****

At home, Satoru walked into his room and when he inhaled your lingering scent, god, he burst into tears so loudly that Mint got startled. Suguru came to comfortingly rub his back as he wept like a dog.

"悟、 泣かないで。"

He didn't cry as hard ever again as he did that day, and he never even told you.

*****

It's hard to imagine that summer could have ever ended, but it faded away like a sweet taste fading on his tongue.

Satoru woke up the morning without you, and it took him a few seconds to realize that — he felt his fingers over the pillow and slowly opened his eyes.

(ああ、もう会いたい。)

Puffy eyes, dry lips, he reached for his phone.

You hadn't replied yet — still on your flight home, high up in the air. Probably staring out the window. Hopefully thinking of him.

He checked your live flight status, and laid on the pillow as he watched it, forearm concealing his frown, and he just stayed like that for half an hour. Watching that tiny plane move on the screen, over so many countries.

He zoomed out, and felt stricken, as if he just realized how far you actually were from him. And you weren't even home yet, home was still hours away.

"Wake up, princess." Suguru knocked on Satoru's door, then barged in after Satoru let out an I’m awake noise. "I could sense your damp mood through the door." He said.

Satoru groaned, "She's still in the sky..."

Suguru dove into Satoru's unmade bed. "Don't frown so much, you'll get ugly frown wrinkles when you're old."

"Mhm."

They were watching your live flight for a few minutes in silence.

"Let’s look through photos."

So, they both laid there, looking through photos, mumbling amongst themselves about little things and missing you like they've never missed someone before.

Then Satoru let out a long breath, rolled onto his back, and hummed happily to himself.

"I kissed her. I actually kissed her.” He said, thinking of you.

"... oh really? That's crazy. Me too." Suguru teased sarcastically.

"Shut up, you."

Suguru just teased further, "The only way you'll get me to shut up is if you book her a flight back to Tokyo and let her use her lips to silence me."

"She'll kiss me before she kisses you next time she visits." Satoru said confidently.

"... bet?"

"Okay, bet!" Satoru flared up, "I bet all my savings, because I know she loves me more."

"Then say goodbye to your savings."

They go back and forth, getting competitive.

"... I'll kiss her harder." Suguru said.

"No, I'll kiss her harder." Satoru said.

"I'll kiss her dumb." Suguru said.

"I'll kiss her dumber!" Satoru said.

Mint fluffed her tail and stared at her noisy, bickering owners. Then she leaped off and went on her way to the washing machine.

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

@miwanilla / @sukunasdirtylaugh / @coco-cat / @babydiamondblog / @mp3playerblog / @froufrousnowman / @lovesickramblingsofmine / @arminswifee / @instantmusico / @kaechannn / @sabo-has-my-heart / @yoonjinhusbands / @honey-i-will-come-back / @thirtykiwis / @satoruiloveu / @iamthedetective / @melaaaara / @xakilicious / @i-am-the-geek-overlord / @starrylibras / @beanluvsmilo / @kittytoru / @reese-is-right / @rains-mae / @c0pkiller / @baepsays / @hueanhdang / @fuck-imstillhere / @yourimaginaryfriiendd / @alwaysminhyuk / @andromidagalaxie / @vianna99 / @akumakitsune21 / @ducksdoughnuts / @itsnotmelo / @animechick555 / @hypernovaxx / @xkittiecatx / @ba-ks / @sleepy-waffle / @aphoenixnamed-angel / @polarbvnny / @satoryaa / @dedicatemyhearttoyou / @aiikuraa / @uno3 / @softnorth / @polarbvnny / @aphoenixnamed-angel / @boundedbyfate / @p1nkfluffysocks / @notahappyyoongi / @sullybrothersmate / @nissatamz / @bakugosbottombitch / @zhonglis-missing-wallet / @martothejay / @ringsofsaturnnnn / @givemeonereason / @rosariymchapter / @augustsosexy / @spicy-takimura / @li-m-ii / @strychnynegirl / @curvaliberate / @oyuki22 / @spicy-takimura / @li-m-ii / @euaphoria1 / @hexoolio / @notrlynicole / @maya-maya-56 / @elitesanjisimp

♡ 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠

© arminsumi

I do not permit the copying/reposting/translation/plagiarism of my works. Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

This is fictional work.

[haru-natsuka]

Second Male Leads Are all Yanderes but I Won't Rest Until I Win My Love Back (Female Reader x OCs)

CHAPTER 6

Story will start after the synopsis

Every second male lead who appeared in this world had a hidden yandere side that can emerge at any moment and turn them into a twisted and obsessive villain.

As someone with a severe case of the "second male lead syndrome", you are determined to pursue your love for the second male lead, leaving the original male lead to become the second.

While you were busy chasing after the second male lead, the original male lead kept on bothering you and trying to get you to choose him instead.

"Don't you dare to come any closer!" You snap at the original male lead, your tone sharp and firm.

"Oh, and who's going to stop me? You?" The yandere stares at you, a menacing look in their eyes, as their body slowly moves closer.

"Too close! Step back!"

"Your words mean nothing to me. You can't control me. I will come as close as I please, you can't stop me."

As if a yandere was not enough, when you chose to ignore the original male lead, another second male lead suddenly entered your life, further complicating the situation.

The yandere and the upcoming second male lead both seem determined to have you for themselves, and they were both very possessive and pushy in their approaches to you.

You just wanted to be happy with your true love. Yandere or not, you would stick with your crush!

CHAPTER 1 << CHAPTER 2 << CHAPTER 3 << CHAPTER 4 << CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6: WORRISOME

Adrian's voice was filled with a mix of relief and anxiety as he pulled back you to be completely within his arms, the back of your head was gently being held by him which lead for your face pressed against his chest.

His hold on you growing tighter with each passing second. He clutched you as if ensuring your presence was real and solid, a desperate need to feel your safety.

"I'm just glad you're safe," he repeated, his words choked with emotion. "But please, promise me never to disappear like that again. I was losing my mind with worry."

"Ohhh Adrian," you replied, a hint of amusement laced in your tone as you tried to lighten the tense surrounding and his worry. "Did you miss me that much?" you teased. "We were only apart for a few hours, and here I am, safe and sound."

As you spoke, you extended your hand to pat his chest, feeling the rapid thump of his heart beneath your palm while doing so. It beat so quickly, a testament to the anxiety he had endured.

"It was more than just a few hours," he murmured, his grip on you unyielding.

"It was 8 hours, 43 minutes, and 27 seconds," His words carrying a hint of desperation. "Anything could have happened to you in that time!" The gravity of his concern was evident in his voice, a reflection of the anxious hours he had spent waiting for your return.

'Wow, that's a bit too precise'

"I-!..."

Adrian paused for a moment, a glimmer of insight flickering in his eyes. He seemed to be engaged in a silent conversation with himself, contemplating his own actions and their consequences. After a few seconds, he turned his gaze back to you, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Is it because I was being a bit emotional earlier?" he asked, his voice tinged with a hint of self-reflection. "Is this my punishment for that?"

He gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch gentle and affectionate as he stared at your face with a familiar mixture of pain and guilt expression that indicated his internal emotion. As you observed Adrian's expression, a pang of recognition and concern registered within you.

'This face is the exact one he had as that time... When his heart was broken because of his best friends... Adrian is self blaming himself again...'

"Look at me, Adrian. I'm fine, healthy, perfectly well and I am here now right?"

You cup his face in your hands. Adrian's gaze reluctantly lifted to meet yours, his eyes pained but hopeful. The torment and guilt evident on his face slowly ebbed away as you spoke.

"Instead of thinking about today, let's focus on tomorrow. Let's spend the whole day together until we got bored!" you suggested, your voice warm and soothing as you were comforting your man. "We can do farming, planting tomatoes, cherries... Oh! or we can go fishing too."

Adrian's expression visibly brightened at your suggestion, the guilt and worry gradually fading from his eyes as he saw you were trying to comfort him just like you always did. The you who always consoled him. The you, who always forgive him. Seeing your willingness to offer support, Adrian made the conscious decision not to dwell on his negative emotions.

He smiled, a genuine smile that reached all the way to his eyes. The smile that could shine a thousand miles away. That was your Adrian smile.

"That does sound wonderful. As long as I get to spend time with you, it doesn't matter what we do. I will never left you alone anymore. It will never be boring." he replied, his voice carrying a mixture of excitement and relief.

"But still don't push yourself too much with my whims. Are you suggesting to be with me even by sacrificing your sleep time?" Adrian's tone shifted, becoming more serious as he voiced his concerns. There was an air of caution in his words, and he looked at you with a hint of worry.

Your eyes sparkled with mischief as you responded to Adrian's concern with a lighthearted tone, a hint of a mischievous smirk on your lips.

"Oh, don't worry about me, Adrian," you reassured him. "I can always make up for it later by dozing off in those cozy arms of yours."

Upon hearing your lighthearted response, a soft chuckle escaped Adrian's lips. He could not help but be endeared by your confident nonchalance. The thought of you dozing off in his arms brought a tender smile to his face.

"I'll take it as a badge of honor for being such a comfort to you, Y/N"

As he looked at you closely, he could notice the subtle signs of exhaustion on your face. He recalled how unsteady your breathing was when he first laid eyes on you. a pang of guilt washed over him as he realized how self-centered he had been for holding you back.

"You know, you seem a bit tired," his voice gentle and filled with worry. "We should head back to our home."

The word of our home echoed in your brain as it could be define as another meaning but no, Adrian would not mean that. Adrian was simply innocent and pure while you were really lustful and impure.

'Is it wrong to have this thoughts and imagination, oh God forgive me for wanting to steal your angel'

As you tried to take a few steps backwards, preparing yourself for the walk home but almost immediately, you fall flat on the ground. Adrian, caught off guard by your unexpected fall, failed to catch you in time. Your startled expression mirrored the surprise on Adrian's face as he quickly rushed over to your side, kneeling down beside you as he observed your condition.

"I'm sorry but my legs are too shaky" You give him an assuring smile but in your mind, you blamed the entire thing on that scoundrel who disturbed your date with your man earlier.

'Next time we meet, I will punch his face for sure. No- there should not be another time. Hmmph! He should just rot in hell!'

"Are you really alright? Should we go to a physician? Can I examine your legs?" He instinctively reached out to check your legs, but you gently stopped his hand, giving him a reassuring smile.

"I'm good Adrian. Let just go home. I'm just in need for a rest"

Respecting your insistence, Adrian refrained from bombarding you with questions. With a gentle yet firm grip, he carefully lifted you into his arms, carrying you effortlessly towards your home. A sense of responsibility washed over him, fueling his determination to care for you, making up for his own actions that morning.

Your whole body tensed, startled to be in the arms of the person you love but did not complain as you viewed this as an opportunity to indulge yourself with being held within his warm arms. Your eyes trailed from his chest to his face and the most closest part to you, his neck.

'Neck fetish, please don't activate now'

You slapped yourself multiple times in your mind but in reality you hung your head low and covered your face with your hands as you bite the inner part of your mouth to control your desire. You did not want your man to think you were somehow mental or crazy.

As you were busy fangirling in your heart and brain, you noticed the short path to your house became long. You slowly raised your head and saw his expression shifting from conflicted to reddened with embarrassment. The tinge of red on his cheeks growing more apparent with each passing moment. Adrian stepped halt in front of the door of your house.

Despite being neighbours, neither you nor Adrian had ever crossed the line and entered each other's homes. Both of you had a strong respect for each other's privacy, and Adrian was keenly aware of the boundaries and propriety associated with a man entering a single lady's residence.

"Adrian, you can put me down now"

Adrian hesitated for a brief moment, his protective instincts refusing to let go of you just yet when you were in that weak state.

"But-" he protested, his voice laced with concern.

"The strength of my legs has returned. Thank you for making it easier for me" Adrian just tighten his hold on you as he reluctant to let you be on your own. Amused by his adorable yet concerning behavior, you refrained from making it more challenging for him, even though secretly, you found it quite endearing.

"If you don't put me down, your first kiss here will be mine" You tapped your finger lightly on his lips as you chose to threaten him with the most effective way for Adrian. It was a coward move but it was the best action for him and at this time.

"I know you, Y/N. You will not force yourself on me" It was not like yesterday the two of you know each other and Adrian could distinguish between a true and empty threat coming from you. He was still stubborn to help you although he is hopeless now.

Without thinking twice, you brought yourself closer to his lips "Then, you need to know me better. My heart is always for you, so kissing the person you love..., it's not hard at all Adrian"

His blushing worsen as he did not expect that move from you. He choose to carefully lower you to the ground as he knew now that was not an empty threat, ensuring that you were steady on your feet before reluctantly letting go.

You let out a lighthearted chuckles as you had fun teasing your man. However, the truth was, you also feeling shy for making such a move. You still could feel his hot breath on your face earlier and your heart still pounding so hard. You took his hands in your hold and kissed his fingertips just to add his embarrassment more.

"Thank you for always care for me. I know I choose the right person to fall in love with"

Adrian timidly took back his hands and just pat your head gently. His eyes could not even land on you properly as he was still a blushing madness. His other hand covered part of his lower face.

"Take care, Y/N. Goodnight" Adrian could not even talk properly that his words became a whisper.

"Night too Adrian. Sweet dreams and see you tomorrow" You closed the door before melting on the floor as you scream for your stupidity.

"Where did that courage come from! What did I do! How can I even do that!"

You wanted to bang your head for choosing such a low quality threat for Adrian. Outside of your house was Adrian who heard you scream. He took a sit in front of the entrance as he tried to cool down his red face and ears with the night's chill air. This time, he was the one feeling weak on his feet.

The following morning, you woke up before the sun had even risen, your steps light with anticipation as you reminisced about the events of the previous day.

'Let's not think about the negative side! Just remember you got to see Adrian flustered face! His hot breath! His muscles arms! I should learn painting and paint myself that spectacular scenery!'

It was a pleasant and calm morning. Just as you were about to walk into the forest, passing the first line of trees, a long-standing enemy revealed himself from behind the tree.

"AHHHHHH!!!"

'THE SATAN HAS REVEALED HIMSELF AGAIN!!!'

Tag list:

@d3sperate-enuf @sirenetheblogger @orinnie @aoiyx @chin-chii @elsoleil @iamapotatoe @yzuposts @black-butterfly-2405

@beeskn3es @ivorette @type-ink @lol-leo

[coolfire333]

Genuinely really loving the rap/music discourse going around...let's all expand our perspectives a little but for the love of god some of you (not anyone I follow) are literally so stupid

Disclaimer: I am a little worried since it's easy to throw stones at "boring white girl music" which makes me wonder if this is just going to end up dunking on women in a veiled-sexist manner in general a la the "pumpkin spice white girls" trend that was popular a while back that basically was just making fun of women for having harmless fun under the guise that they were "basic white girls"

HOWEVER everyone in the notes of posts that are even slightly rude or poking fun at popular white musicians getting all up and arms because some (likely black) blogger poked fun at their (likely white) precious punk music or girlypop diva are really showing their ass on this one

As someone with a background in music and music history I can confidently say that nearly every popular genre in mainstream music would not exist without the innovations of black (usually American) musicians. And I think that's super neat! Ragtime, jazz, gospel, soul, r&b, blues, rock, pop, hip-hop, rap, all uniquely American genres that came largely, if not entirely, from the ideas of black Americans.

I'm undoubtedly missing some genres (I'm a bit old-school at heart so I don't know what's trendy now or where exactly it came from) but if you're American and on this website, doesn't that give you a form of national pride? That all those years ago people from your country were able to create new musical styles that have, for the most part, persisted and spread around the world? Honestly it brings a tear to my eye sometimes listening to old music and realizing how impactful it was on modern music genres.

Instead of going "ewww I don't like xyz" why not ask a fan of that kind of music why they like it and maybe what recommendations they have for someone who doesn't listen to that genre. And if you really don't gel with a genre for whatever reason, at least treat it respectfully and recognize its impact on the genres of music you do listen to.

"Ohhh but rap is just sex, drugs, and violence," I hear some of you saying. Well, keep in mind that that same critique has been used for pop, rock, jazz, ragtime, and pretty much every other "new" (keyword "black-influenced") art form so you really want to be careful labelling an entire genre as that. Controversy sells, so think about why exactly "mindless" rap might be the rap you're exposed to or most familiar with from the radio instead of more serious or contemplative rap songs.

Also realize that the songs you like probably also discuss drugs, sex, and violence, but perhaps less directly or in a way that's somehow more tolerable for you. Explore why! Why is it ok for (insert genre you like here) to talk about mature or "dark" themes but when rap does it it's suddenly offensive to you.

It's ok to have biases and be working on them! Also, if someone is trying to criticize a group you're part of for being biased, and they're trying to do it respectfully and seriously, don't joke around like "oh LOL that's so me" and don't get overly defensive either. Be serious and respectful back and genuinely listen to what they're saying.

Literally just don't be a jerk to music and art of marginalized communities! Is it really that hard to have respect for other people even if you don't 100% understand the culture from your perspective?

[liittlecrow]

What're your thoughts on going on a first date with someone only to end up in a motel room with a blindfold on and having a train ran on ya?

um. yeah so like.

thinking im going on a completely innocent & super cutesy little first date? to the movies or out to dinner? blushing & swooning & becoming more & more excited by the second while i put sooooo much effort into getting all dolled up for you beforehand?

you pick me up from my house later that night? spend the entire car ride to our destination opening me up everrrrrr so slowly? making sure to get me all nice & comfy & entirely unsuspecting?

‘aww this date is going so so well omg omg!!! this guy is so sweet and caring and attentive to every little detail that i share with him!!!!! i genuinely don’t see how it could ever POSSIBLY get any better than this!!!!!!’

then…… you successfully manage to slip a little something into my drink while im not paying attention. the very first chance you get, with absolutely zero hesitation. you have to catch yourself & refrain from chuckling out loud at just how oblivious & naive & overly-trusting i really am. simply thinking to yourself how god awfully easyyyyyyyyyy this is going to be.

everything gradually fades into a blur. i am suddenly overwhelmed by insatiably warm & fuzzy feelings. so blissful. so dreamy. so giggly & so happy. so compliant…. so everlovingly simple to control…. and you barely even had to lift a finger……..

……. …..

‘hhhh… h-huh? wait wh-what? where am i? what happened? why can’t i see?? wait why can’t i move??? ….. ohh— ohhh my g-god. oh my fucking god. what have i done…. what have i gotten myself into… am i really this fucking stupid & careless?????’

i spend the next several hours contemplating all of my decisions. every single last choice i made that led me to where i am. right here, right now. completely immobilized, helpless, powerless, officially & ultimately broken... all the while being laughed at & mocked by strange men…. too many to count, especially through the thick brain fog…… feeling all of their hands groping me, prodding me, poking me, fondling me, grabbing me, squeezing me, slapping me, bending me, contorting me…. as they take turns pumping their cocks in…. and out…… in and out…. of all my sloppy little holes……. talking back & forth amongst each other about how almost too easy it was to break me…..

“such a stupid fucking slut” “god what a pathetic whore” “might as well have been on her hands & knees like a fucking dog the way she was begging for this” “look how well she’s taking all of it” “barely even squirming an inch anymore” “mmmmmm fuck” “i love a good little bitch who knows her fucking place” “hahahahahaha” “the one and only thing she’s ever been good for” “and always will be”

yes. acceptance has fully taken over & settled in. didn’t take very long at all, why of course.

mmmph. this is my life now. <3

[starsscarmyceiling]

Gimme some of that Clone Wars AU pls! Stirring the Sky

Hoooo ohhh man, Abby! The origin story to this one is actually pretty funny…and I know I’ve blathered on to you about my fics…BUT for everyone else…so a few months ago, an anon asked me if I had any sort of fic prompt ideas floating around in my head, which you can find here. And what do I do ofc??? Why, write out 5k worth of prompt ideas because a bitch over here can never stfu. And ONE of those ideas…I honestly got really attached to it and I was like…well oh NO I am going to have to write this, aren’t I?? It’s from the “Canonverse Divergent” section, I thought of this Clone Wars AU, and this is the original prompt I wrote:

“Clone Wars AU where Cal and Jaro are assigned to try and recruit the Nightsisters to try and get the upper hand in the war with Dooku (lol I wouldn’t say exactly a Dark Disciple route but that’s up to you). Merrin is voluntold (the opposite of volunteered) by Mother Talzin to try and become allies with the Jedi (they could have their own shady Nightsister ulterior motive going on as well), and Merrin reluctantly goes with the Jedi. And oooooooOoOooo wow the shenanigans that can ensue from that. (Merrin also has to try really hard not to lose her shit over leaving Dathomir for the first time in her life). I’d imagine a lot of frustrations from both parties. The clones mercilessly make fun of Cal and his Nightsister gf (but they also have to tell him what’s up). He thinks she’s unreasonably obtuse and rude, and she thinks he’s frustratingly smug/arrogant. Merrin could prove to be a definite asset in battle. Cal probably thinks it’s hawt 😳 OH NO SHE’S HOT SEE LOOK HOW WE GOT HERE WE LIKE TO HAVE FUN HERE.

Now suddenly she’s mysterious and complex, and he’s frustrated that he wants to know more. He’s actually the sweetest person she’s ever seen and she’s angry about it. She constantly has to check in with her sisters and it’s getting harder and harder to go behind his back or deny that she maybe might not hate him anymore she maybe even may want to smooch him WOAH who knows. They bond over feeling used in this war. Come on. You got it from here right?”

Soooo, YEAH…I gots a little too overindulgent in my thoughts and started writing THIS…but I am so very excited because it’s just the two of them being endlessly frustrated yet hotted up for each other at all times. All the clones ship it HARD. Merrin starts to grow attached to some of the clones that are very welcoming to her…actually fun fact…if you’ve read my fic “what’s grown between (surgery scars)” when Cal told Merrin about his clone trauma…I literally pulled what he was saying from this WIP…HEH…

ALSO, I honestly just want to live my best life and push forward my personal HC that I have of if Cal were older during order 66 or it never happened, him and Jaro would 100% have Jake and Holt energy from Brooklyn 99 agenda.

And I am so very excited to explore a lot of these themes that I’ve brought into my Merrical writing in a setting like this. Cal contemplating his feelings, his so naturally compassionate and empathetic spirit that wants to take care of everyone else before himself, and then someone like MERRIN steps into his life??? OOF I am gonna have some fun with this and the psychometric Jedi and space witch of it all. GOODNESS I am so excited for it.

AND SO…here is a long ass preview because I honestly didn’t know where to cut it off…Cal is answering a comm from their commander, Zand, on his and Jaro’s ship and well he may have sensed a presence while doing so…😏😏😏

When there was nothing there still, he turned once again to his original direction, but as soon as he did, there was a flash of green light and smoke, and suddenly, there was a figure there before him.

“There is no need to brandish weapons or administer threats Jedi,” she stated with her voice laced in malice, which ironically enough did feel like a bit of a threat.

Cal severely balked at this sudden interaction, “Who are you?”

The woman crossed her arms with still a severe expression on her face, “Does it matter? We are all just—unsettling to you anyway.”

His eyes narrowed as he put the pieces together in his head, “Were you—spying on me?”

Her expression changed to that of incredulity as she raised an eyebrow, “You left the door to your ship open.”

It was a bit shocking, her audacity as he bristled all over again, “Are you seriously blaming me for you trespassing onto my ship and listening in on my private conversation?”

This woman, who Cal only now after processing the last several moments did he start to take in her appearance, did give off such an intense energy in the force. Cal felt her ire, her disdain so much so that it almost made him feel dizzy.

A short breath escaped him as he shut off his lightsaber, and all she did was continue to glare at him. She was short statured with light gray skin and intense brown eyes. Her soft features on her face were adorned with tattoos that lined her forehead, her cheeks. And it was all coming to a head, feeling her emotions, his emotions of frustration, accost, but now he was also flustered, bewildered, and definitely anxious.

He hated to think, though it was sad, but true, that he thought she was astoundingly beautiful.

His mind tried to do a complete turnaround because that was very much besides the point, and he did his best to keep his mental shields up, having no idea what she was capable of as she finally continued to speak.

“Though Mother Talzin invited you here Jedi,” she said again with such derision to her words, “do not hold the false notion that you are in any way welcome.”

Cal almost wanted to laugh at her statement, his own ire stacking up again in his mind, and he actually welcomed it as it was much easier to process in the moment than anything else he was currently grappling with.

An exhale escaped his nostrils harshly as he kept up his glare, “Believe me,” he stated with his own contempt, clipping his lightsaber to his belt again, “I would like to get off this force forsaken planet as soon as possible.”

She tilted her head at him, seeming to descry in her own way, which caused the fringe of her silver blonde hair to slightly cascade into her eyes as they scanned over him. It made him—exceedingly uncomfortable for a multitude of reasons he really couldn’t dwell on at the moment.

“That is at least something we can agree on Jedi,” she uttered in a flatter tone than she had before, but still possessed an air of intolerance.

“I have a name you know. Don’t know how I’d get around the confusion of actually just going by the moniker of Jedi,” he stated in what was a mockery of her sardonic tone of voice.

She stood there still for several moments as she raised an eyebrow at him, which to him translated into some form of her being through with his banthashit.

“Jedi…the Jedi?” The Nightsister questioned with a genuine air of perplexment to her voice.

Honestly, once she said it out loud, Cal really wasn’t sure what he was even trying to accomplish. Was he trying to make a joke? Was he trying to be a smartass? Was he trying to break the tension? If Jaro was asked, he’d probably claim that Cal would try and accomplish all of the above.

“What, are you attempting to be clever or snide?” She asked as she began to take careful steps circumventing him, “Or just insulting? You think you can come to my home and disrespect me in such a way?”

Cal crossed his arms as he scoffed, “You’re the one who snuck onto my ship first, Nightsister.”

If she was going to address him in such a way he’d do it right back. He was feeling that petty.

Though, he very much resented himself when his mind flashed with the title ‘Nightsister, the Nightsister,’ and he had to hold back a stupid smirk.

She was temporarily out of his view, though he still felt her, always felt her as she too laughed humorlessly, “You are extremely full of yourself, aren’t you Jedi?”

The way she said it this time seemed to give off the same amount of snark he was emanating.

Cal waited until she was there in his vision again as he slightly upturned his chin to her.

“I bet you’d like to think so, wouldn’t you? Profile me, put me in a box of whatever your false perceptions of Jedi are,” Cal almost barked at her. Force, he didn’t even remember the last time he’d been so irritated with a person.

“And you are not doing the same to me? Making your own assumptions and insulting something you don’t even understand.”

Another scoff was in his throat, “Yeah, and let’s still not forget how you acquired such information from me.”

Her glare was fierce again as the disparagement was almost palpable on her face now, “I only was scoping out the situation because I have my people’s interest in mind.”

Cal realized he was flexing his arms now as they were still crossed over his chest out of sheer frustration, “You could have just asked me you know; I would have been more than willing to speak with you about any such matters that occur with my order.”

“And how was I to know this? All I have heard about Jedi is that they are liars and selfish thieves!” She exclaimed.

Again. He was taken such aback again at the gull.

“And where in the hell did you hear that? A Separatist the people The Republic is trying to stand against?” He said, but then he already had another retort on his tongue, “And for that matter, we were the ones that were invited here and ever since we arrived, all we have gotten from you is blatant disdain when we hadn’t even done anything!”

“None of us wanted you here!”

“That’s not my problem! Don’t take your misplaced frustration out on me!”

His statement seemed to give her pause, and Cal hadn’t even realized that they’d somehow managed to step closer and closer to one another in this skirmish and were definitely in one another’s personal space.

Kriff, how did I end up here?

Her eyes were narrowed up at him as he still found that anger, but he also cornered something else in them that was not easy to place.

“You should have never come to Dathomir Jedi,” she admonished in a strained tone.

A short sigh fell out of his mouth.

“Cal.”

For the first time, he found actual confusion on her countenance, “What?”

“Cal, my name is Cal Kestis, not Jedi. Again, I don’t go by Jedi the Jedi.”

Honestly, he wasn’t exactly sure why he said it. At this point he recognized they were both being assholes to each other.

Her eyes were all over him again though as she leaned back to cross her arms, “Do you think you are exceedingly hilarious, Cal?”

He didn’t know what it was. The concept of his nomenclature was always simple, straightforward concept in his mind, but there was something in the way that she said it, the timbre of her voice, that drove him insane.

And that sort of insanity seemed to have many faces right now, many of which were irritation.

Still, he crossed his arms all the same, “I am starting up my own comedy tour, actually.”

And never in his life, as he was already trying to convince himself that it wasn’t true, had he ever been so…aroused by the utterance of his own name.

This…he needed to get himself out of this situation now.

Her eyes scanned him again, “I do not find your antics the least bit entertaining.”

“Well, I guess I won’t be reserving the cranky Nightsister a seat, now will I?”

A narrowed gaze in his direction now. And he wasn’t sure how he felt—about being under her scrutiny.

“You are extremely arrogant and insolent,” she declared, her eyes still fierce, “but it is not as if that really matters, Cal.”

He was very much resenting the shiver that was sent down his spine.

SOOO YEH, hope you guys are as excited for this one as I am!!! I literally think these two don't even have the ability to be around one another and NOT be super horni right off the bat for each other haha.

SHENANIGANSSSS

[mariyekos]

- the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic

- pick three keywords that describe your writing

- share a fic you’re especially proud of

Link to the ask meme here.

the most interesting topic you've researched for a fic

Oh boy, this is a hard one when you have nearly 10 years of fic writing under your belt (and if you're thinking wait, 10 years, what did you write before 2016? the answer to that is many, many unpublished ffvii and ffviii fics among other things). And nearly 70 published works, ohhh boy. I enjoyed looking up some sapphic poetry for inspiration for a F/F piece I wrote. I just used it as a title in the end, but despite loving poetry I don't really go looking for it very often, so it was lovely to go through some for inspiration. Oh! And I was part of a Mini Bang (like Big Bang) where I read a bunch of folklore and fairy tales for inspiration for my own fic. I put a lot of effort into figuring the kind of language and patterns were used in fics to guide some of my own, and even if I didn't write all of my fic in those styles, I took sooooo many screenshots and spent a good amount of time identifying what it was that gave the things a "folklore-y" feel. The vast majority of my fic research goes into making sure I'm aligned with series canon. I've definitely done some research to make sure things align with their real life counterparts, but when I say I've put hours into researching just canon materials for fics, I mean it. For my most recent one I went through two game scripts, two extra novels, and then as much information as I could scrape from the wiki... I love being canon compliant as much as a story will allow, so I always do it when I can (and when it's reasonable)! Sometimes I do it to include it, while other times I do it so I can at least know what the canon thing that I'm not aligned with is, for the purposes of assessing what's necessary to include in the story to explain or "earn" the difference.

pick three words to describe your writing

Long, bittersweet, contemplative

share a fic you're especially proud of

Forevermore is, I think, the fic I was most proud of upon publishing, and am still proud of today. It captured a certain feeling I absolutely adore but struggle to produce, and it exists in a sort of high I try to capture time and time again. The writing style is great imo, I like that I was able to do shorter scenes, and it still gets me teary eyed. Same for my readers. I haven't read it in a year or so, but it's very dear to my heart and I think it will always remain that way.

Thank you for the ask! This was fun :) For anyone that might be interested in hearing me ramble more, check out the link at the top (or here) to see the rest of the prompts.

[lisxdumbr]

HELLO LIS i returned so quickly to announce that i am going insane MAMA EVENT mama event mama event mama event ohh... Ohh.. noo.. yes i produce this guy too (and then classes are returning as well on january) holy shit i feel a little insane.. maybe more than that.. Anyways

My reaction when 🌟anon noticed me: "omg they noticed me *sits on the sofa in silence contemplating it*" PLEASE PLEASE take care of yourself, treat urself to some good warm soup and heat <3 if one more sickness dares to touch you, you know when it didn't come, it means i beat it ass up (<- would actually not survive a second in a fight)

CONGRATS ON MIKA CARD!!! it is a big W for us. i hope u enjoy mika new outfit and beautiful spp and beautiful voice and beautiful visuals. Shu could describe him better. Valkyrie never disappoints.. so very skunkly!! :3

I have a funni story but i'll summarize it to keito wants to get noticed so bad (the 5* in the free x20 pulls, & called me after christmas) and yes i do produce akatsuki too i am sorry i even produce knights and ryusetai can u imagine the insanity

I was still in shock for mama event & if you ever saw a producer getting restrained in the ES grounds, that's me. Take care of yourself too!! (I have read ur prev reply btw)

— 🌻.

HELLOOOO AGAIN. happy Himeru scout is coming in half an hour and I am absolutely insane ! (← Crazy:BP) I still don't know if I'll pull though, I need to save for.my other priorities but ough. ANYWAY. MAMA EVENT !!! oh my god you're a ReiP and a MamaP. I know that a couple of my friends would like you very much just because of that.

I love Mama a lot despite not producing him, he has this special spot in my heart, I love my Mama oughh. Also the video was ?!3!&?4? I cried like 3 times watching it. And seeing two of my faves in it was just. Boom. I actually noticed some symbolisms and stuff in the video, I promised my friend Miyu that I would ramble about them but I haven't found the motivation </3

OHHH MY GOD MY ANONS ARE BONDING. Starry they noticed you 🌟 yes yes I agree, beating their sickness as we speak, I hope the cold season isn't making it worst at least </3

TYSM yes I !!!_?!4!4?4! God I am in love with that card, so mecore. You didn't know this before but my favorite Mika card ever was Poison À La Mode before, and this FS just feels like a remake of it. I am happy to have him, the curse is broken, after pulling for all the Mika's and not getting a single one, finally...

Omg I got s Keito last month in some free pulls too, though at least you produce him, in my case it was like ! well yeah (at least it was his FS, I did want that card before so fair). Oh if I get your insanity, I love all the square. You already know that I produce All Cospro. But I also love Alkaloid (specifically tatsumayo though) and I produce Natsume. I had a Souma and Tsumugi phase at some point but it was too much. screams. Also I love looove many individual characters, specially the littles. Sora, Tori, Hajime, Shinobu (of course I'm a yutaP) so every now and then I pull for them if I really like their cards. it's always just... head in hands. I can't help it, I love all of them </3

GOOD LUCK WITH ママ YOU CAN DO THIS !!! if you get restrained I will get so too, we are in this together.

[prismartist]

cw for ren being very sick in the background

---

Scott stared at the huge box structure, feeling unsure. Not really about any particular thing, but just in general. Aside from the question whether he should disturb its inhabitants, as they hadn't emerged in hours, he also felt unsure about how to communicate with them at all. There were no doors, no windows, no visible way in, and no place to knock, unless Scott wanted to severely injure his knuckles.

After a moment of contemplation, Scott settled on hoping that his own voice carried beyond the thick cobblestone. "Ren? BigB?" he called out. "Are you there?"

The silence from the base proceeded for a while, before a block broke, and BigB tentatively poked his head through. He had a look of lingering exhaustion, and his smile wavered. "Oh hi Scott!"

"BigB?" The two flinches as Ren's croaky, more-pathetic-than-usual voice called from inside. "Who's there?"

"It's just Scott!" BigB replied.

"Agh, that hobbit. Make sure he does not invade our walls!"

"Yes, Ren, I'll make sure he doesn't invade our walls." BigB turned back, apologetic. "Sorry, he's a bit loopy."

"I don't... mind?"

"So what's up?"

"Well, just wanted to check on you guys. You've been in there for a while, and as good neighbors, me and Cleo thought it would be a good idea to bring some food." Scott produced a leather bag and held it up with an inquiring smile. "Care for some bread and baked potatoes?"

"Oh my god, thank you," gasped BigB, reaching and taking the goods. "This will definitely help, once Ren's, uh... settled."

It was at this point that Scott became acutely aware of some terrible groans coming from inside the base, as well as the smell of what he could only describe as something gone wrong.

"Oh my god, what is happening in there?!" Scott clapped a hand over his nose and mouth, and BigB winced.

"Uhmmmm... well, Ren and I had a little... experiment, you could say, earlier." BigB scratched the back of his neck sheepishly (or goat-ishly, what with his new ears and horns). "It was nice honestly, we both learned a lot, but I think one of us hasn't adapted to the goat lifestyle well."

Scott could almost feel the loading screen pop into his head. "Goat lifestyle?"

"Oh you know, just... goat. Things."

Scott lowered his hand. "BigB. Did you and Ren eat grass."

"Uhm."

"Don't lie to me, BigB."

"Okay yes we did," BigB quickly admitted, cringing. "But we were craving!"

"How much did you have??"

"A lot, dude. A lot. I'm not proud either. But in our defense––" BigB raised both his hands, "––it tasted good."

Scott moved his hand back onto his face in a full facepalm. "I hate adaption," he muttered. "Whatever god thought it would be a good idea for people to mutate in new worlds, I'm going to kill them."

"Yeah, and I don't know why Ren reacted so badly, we've both gained goat features and stuff but he's not taking the grass well."

"Might just be a him thing, to be fair."

"Like the dog thing?"

"Not necessarily, most dogs don't get sick from grass, but some do. That might be overpowering the goat parts."

BigB's eyes widened. "Ohhh, is that it? That makes sense, you're smart."

"Thank you, I am."

"BigB, my tummy's rumbling again, man," Ren once again piped up.

Scott took a step back, to maybe ease some space between him and the aura emanating from the Box of Regret. "Anyways, I think I better go before it gets too dark. And besides, I do not want anything to do with that, no offense."

"Oh of course, I get that, I get that."

"Well––" Scott gave a wave, "––best of luck, I feel like you'll need it. Tell Ren I hope he gets better."

"Yeah, I will." BigB gave another strained smile and waved back. "See you dude, thanks for stopping by."

"See you, BigB."

And BigB hurriedly replaced the block.

---

(sequel to this fun lil snippet because a lotta people were talking about dogs eating grass in the notes... so i made an epilogue based on that lmao)

[zhongliologist]

In the Dark | Childe Smut

Pairing: Childe x fem!reader

Genre: SMUT!! SMUT!! SMUT!!

Words: 1.9k

*WARNING!! THIS IS PURE SMUT. IF YOU ARE A MINOR, IT IS UPON YOUR DISCRETION. PLEASE READ RESPONSIBLY* 

A/N: MERRY FCKN CHRISTMAS Y’ALL!!

It was never clean cut or anything.

Like shadows in the dim light, everything was vague and hazy—thinly veiled by smoke and meaningful lies. There was never an agreement, yet as soon as your eyes meet and fingers touch, such tumultuous desire could never be denied. Just like how the both of you play and reside underneath the shadows, you breathe deception and swallow bitter truths while honey and milk drip from your lips.

He, as a Fatui Harbinger, was an omen of chaos wherever he went. He craved anarchy and disorder; his blood curdling with excitement whenever cataclysm befell. You, on the other hand was a product of desperation; pushed further and further into the darkness until you wore it like a second skin. You were the eyes and the ears of anyone who paid you handsomely, knowing no loyalties except towards the golden coin.

Yet, in some arbitrary reason, the both of you knew instinctively what the other needed—thus no physical or verbal contract has been made; only consensual desire written on skin as lips touch with fervor.

And that is where you found yourself, dragged in a dingy room of a musty inn with deep dark blue eyes piercing through you with unbridled desire.

“N-Not here….” You whispered, as his lips left you in a moment of repose. “Childe!”

“But I want to fuck you right here, princess.”

He only chuckled darkly; your wrists pinned on the brick wall as he attacked your neck with a voracious appetite. Pressing his warm body against yours, you could easily feel your sobriety slipping away and replacing it with lust.

Yet if only it were that simple, the both of you would have never repeated this vicious cycle over and over again.

“That’s enough!”

In an impulse, you pushed him away; your nails leaving scratches on his neck like a decorated scar.

Your body was heaving with eyes crackling like thunder. The air between the two of you permeated densely; charging with heat and electricity despite the distance.

Childe could feel you preparing to strike, like a snake judging the right time to lunge at their prey. He knew that if he moved an inch, he’d be electrocuted in an instant. Yet it only made his eyes dilate and his blood rush faster.

“And here I thought I’ve had it easy,” he began; a smirk hanging from his lips. “Took you long enough, princess.”

You scoffed at him. “I’m not like you.”

At your words, he arched a brow.

“Oh?” He began circling around you, like a predator to a hapless prey. “You’re not like me…what a funny thing to say.”

Childe mused to himself, flicking his hand to toy with droplets of water between his fingers. You felt uneasy at his flippant tone, knowing full well that he was contemplating something, and usually it wasn’t to your favor.

“You, who would drag your fingers on my arm while nobody noticed. You, who would keep on denying me, but want me more than anyone. You, who keeps on saying we’re not the same? Wow.”

Completing a full revolution, he then stopped behind you. Even without seeing, you could feel him breathe behind your back; hearing the sound of water moving to the motion of his fingertips.

“Wha—!”

You tried to turn around yet the cold wet droplets slid up your neck, making you stand rigidly in place. You could feel water move against your warm skin; the contrast making you shiver—he wasn’t even touching you yet you were already at this state.

“Yet look at you now, princess. We barely started and you’re trembling…” his voice had a mocking playful lilt; both sexy and charismatic.

“Just say you want me.”

It was disgraceful.

Fueled by your wounded pride welling up in your chest, you jerked back and launched a series of electrical currents towards him. Childe easily dodged the first few, yet couldn’t avoid the rest. However, instead of jerking away like you expected, he dashed towards you; seizing your wrists and pining you back on the wall with a loud thud.

Even with your wind knocked out of you, you could feel electricity still coursing on your skin—continually emitting waves towards Childe who was stubbornly strong, despite being electrocuted.

“Aahhh….Princess…” he muttered, his lips trembling. “You really are something, aren’t you?”

Struggling to remove your wrists from his grasps, you grimaced at how he pushed even harder. In this game of push and pull, there is no clear victor. Yet victories aren’t the reason why you keep coming back. You knew there was something primal, something twisted running underneath your veins whenever Childe pins you against the wall like this; feral eyes blown wide.

“I never realized how much you’re in denial,” he grinned. “You’re not like me? Bullshit.”

Leaning close to you with lips mere inches from one another, Childe stared right at you with those ocean eyes, daring you to sink further into the abyss.

“We’re cut from the same cloth, Princess,” he purred, his knee pressing against your apex. “You like it when I fight back. You like it when I’m rough with you. You want me to fuck you hard and rough until you cry out in pain and pleasure. Am I right, Princess?”

At his words, you could only glare at him; not trusting to open your mouth when he was rubbing you at the right places.

“I trust your silence means yes,” Childe amused himself, his lips brushing against yours. “After all, people like us…we need to feel things quite intensely, don’t we? Mild, gentle, sweet…those things just don’t cut it anymore. You and I…we’re the same sort of crazy.”

His lips then crashed against yours ferociously, biting and nipping on your until they were swollen. Of course, you fought back. You bit on his lower lip until it bled, yet instead of pulling away, Childe on grinned and pried your mouth open with his tongue. You can taste his blood and the sheer lust he poured into the kiss. It was both intoxicating.

“You’re amazing, princess,” he purred to your ear, his knee grounding against your core as you rubbed yourself for some friction. “Ah, fuck. I’m so turned on.”

“C-Childe…!”

You tried to push him away one more time—or else this game would get boring, right? Yet he was prepared for it, catching your wrists and turned you around, effectively pushing you against the wall. You can feel his hard on pushing against your butt.

“Now, now. Be a good girl, princess. I’ll make you feel good in a sec.”

Releasing one of your hands, he relied on his weight to push you to the wall as he turned his attention to your already wet cunt. Pulling aside your garments, Childe’s fingers slid inside your underwear and began to rub your sensitive clit.

“W-wait…! Nmmhhn….!”

The sudden stimulation made you moan, closing your eyes as you felt your strength giving away at how much he was pleasuring you.

“Now, that’s what I wanna hear,” he whispered, sliding his tongue on your exposed shoulder. “Scream out my name next time, princess?”

With those words, he continued to make you feel good. Childe’s fingers brushed against your dripping wet slit, making it easy to circle around your nub. You could no longer keep your thoughts coherent; it felt so good that you couldn’t really think of anything else, much less stopping. The sound of his seductive humming kept you going, clouding your mind with a heady haze.

Eventually, he slipped two fingers inside of you. Long and agile, he could reach places you could never reach on your own. It didn’t help how he already knows which spots to send you over the edge. With just one push against your walls, your back arched, squealing in delight at how good it felt to be fingered by him.

“C-Childe….! Fuck…! P-Please…I—” you panted, turning your head towards him.

He smirked. “Oh? Is there anything you want, princess?”

You grimaced. You knew he wanted you to say it directly to him—to say how much you wanted to get fucked by his large cock which kept on rubbing against your ass. It would hurt your pride but—

He pushed his fingers against your sweet spot once more, interrupting your thoughts as you had to moan the pleasure he was giving you.

Pride, it doesn’t matter right now.

“C-childe….!! G-Goddamn it…mnnhmm…! F-fuck….me…please fuck m-me…nghh…! Hurry….!”

Smirking against the nape of your neck, Childe chuckled. “Well said, baby girl.”

With one of his hands, he pushed aside the rest of your clothing as he unzipped his pants. You could feel his hot and hard length gliding against your slit and coating it with your juices; the head of his cock brushing against your clit and making electrifying sensations throughout your body.

“S-stop…stop teasing me….aahhh—!C-Childe…! Childe…please…!”

“Here you go, princess!”

With one push, he slid his cock inside of you all the way to the hilt; making you keen against the wall. As soon as he was in, Childe began pounding against you as roughly and ruthlessly as he could. You could feel his length pushing all the way to the end, hitting all those wonderful spots which made you see stars.

“F-fuck princess…! You’re so fucking hot…!” he groaned to you ear as he nibbled on it, keeping his pace relentless as the grip of his hands to your waist.

He was already so addicted to this pleasure—of dominating you, of winning against you who kept him on his toes. He wanted you so much that if possible, he’d keep you as his. And of course, you were already his, as much as you had already ensnared him to be yours. It was toxic and definitely dangerous—but that’s where the thrill comes from.

“Mine,” he growled against your skin, filling every possible space on your shoulder with his marks. “You’re mine, princess…”

“A-ahh…! Ohhh! Childe…fuck…yes!! H-harder!”

He kept on pounding into you, his hand wandering to your breasts as he fondled them. You could feel him so intensely now, his hard cock rubbing your walls as he kept on stimulating your clit. Any moment now, you’d be sent to the edge.

“H-hey…can I come inside…?” he whispered on your lips, giving you small kisses here and there.

With half-lidded eyes, you caught his lips once more, giving him one long drawn kiss before replying. “It’s…fine…nghh! Fill me with your cum….!”

Definitely satisfied with your answered, Childe then pinched your clit without warning, surging pleasure throughout your whole body. You could feel your fingers and limbs tremble at how intense he was pounding into you; your head resting on his shoulders as Childe fucked you from behind.

“O-oh god—! C-childe!”

With one sharp thrust, you were pushed off the edge—coming so intensely as if you could faint from ecstasy. Your walls clamped hard on him, making him groan your name over and over again. A few erratic thrusts after, Childe finally came inside you as he bit your shoulder, filling you with his seed; the warmth spreading all over your lower half.

Falling down from both your highs, Childe began to lick the wound he had made on your skin. For some reason, he liked the taste of blood, more so yours.

“C-Childe…” you muttered, once again turned on even after you had just orgasmed.

He smirked. He knew right away what you wanted, and pushed his half-hard dick still inside you.

“You know princess, I think we’re really made for each other.”

[starlitangels]

I Don’t Care (I Care)

This takes place... back in the Imperium’s January or so. Happy October, y’all! 4.4k words (I am so sorry) Also I only used one spelling for daemon because I figured in the Imperium there hadn’t been enough interaction between humans and daemons to develop a difference

—

I knocked on the ajar office door. “You wanted to see me, sir?” I said, poking my head in.

President Moore looked up from his computer. “Ah. Yes. Coordinator. Come in. Have a seat,” he invited. I slid inside the office. “You can leave the door open, if you’d like. This isn’t a private thing. Or you can close it. Whichever makes you the most comfortable.”

Certainly a first from him but I didn’t question it, leaving the door about the same width open as it had been when I arrived. I crossed the office and sat in one of the chairs opposite his big desk, interlacing my fingers together on my lap. He’d gone back to typing something for a moment and I wasn’t planning on interrupting.

When he finished whatever he’d been working on, he slid over in his seat to see me past the computer screen. “So,” he began. “I asked to see you because I wanted to officially congratulate you on being the longest-serving daemon haven coordinator.” He gestured to the liquor cabinet set into one wall. “Would you care for a drink, to celebrate?”

I blinked. “Is three months the record?” I asked, ignoring the drink offer.

He chuckled. “Technically, two-and-a-half,” he replied, getting up from his desk and going over to the cabinet anyway. “You’ve overshot the record by a few weeks, but I’ve been busy.” He popped the cork on a champagne bottle and brought two flutes over, sitting back down at his desk.

I tried to smile, but I knew it didn’t quite reach my eyes. “Thank you, sir.”

“I know Avior’s attitude isn’t the most pleasant. He’s never been pleasant to me, anyway.” President Moore made a face of barely-restrained frustration as he poured the drink. “So I wanted to congratulate you on your patience with him.”

I shrugged. “I’d call him an acquired taste, but he’s really not that bad,” I said. Maybe because I believe him about the Meridian collapsing and I intend to do something about it rather than just run away to contemplate the end of my existence or argue with him, I thought sarcastically. “Maybe it just took someone who could handle a bit of attitude.”

President Moore bounced his fine pale eyebrows, passing me one of the champagne flutes. “Well, either way, bravo on your time in your position.”

“Thank you, sir.” Silence fell for several long seconds, during which he sipped at his drink and I held mine loosely in my hand. “Is there anything else?”

“Yes, actually. Given you’ve lasted so long at your position, I was hoping to accompany you to the haven later today. Take a look at the progress you’ve made.”

My hands got cold as the blood rushed out of them. If he found our plans… “Sounds great,” I said. “I don’t know if I’d define it as progress, but I’ve managed to get along with Avior for this long.”

“Nevertheless, I’d like to see, my good coordinator.”

I smiled again. “Of course, sir.” I opened and closed my mouth for a second, tapping one fingernail against the delicate glass of the flute. “I can’t guarantee Avior’s gonna be nice, though.”

President Moore laughed with no real humor in his tone, taking another swallow of his drink. “Ohhh, trust me. He never is. Not to me, anyway. But don’t you worry. I can handle him.” Those last two sentences went a little singsong, like he was trying to reassure a child. He gave me that somewhat creepy smile as his eyes flicked a little too low over my body for my comfort.

I took a deep breath. “Okay,” I said. “Shall I meet you there later?”

“Yes. I’ll be at the door at… oh… shall we say… three this afternoon?”

I nodded. “That’ll work just fine.” I tried to smile. It was probably a grimace. “If that’s all, sir, I should be getting back.”

“Of course. I’ll meet you at the door.”

“See you later.” I got up, set the untouched champagne on his desk, and practically fled his office. Being as polite and professional as I possibly could.

—

“Are you alright?” Avior asked as I slammed the door to the haven’s administrative offices behind me.

“Define ‘alright’ in this context,” I grumbled, dropping my messenger bag next to my desk and flopping into my chair.

Avior sighed, perching slightly on the edge of my desk. “I’ll take that as a no,” he remarked. “What happened?”

“Just… had a meeting with our good academy president.” Those last three words were so sarcastic that I could practically taste them. Avior snorted. “He wanted to congratulate me.” I nodded. “On being the longest-serving haven coordinator. Mmhmm.”

Avior actually smiled. “Well, you are,” he agreed. “Like I said the night we met: I wear on the nerves.”

I met his eyes and smiled. “Not mine,” I replied. “That’s why I’m still here.”

His smile turned a little soft. “I’m glad you are.”

“Me too. Because we gotta hide everything we’ve been planning. Lasko’s coming here later this afternoon to check on my progress and he can’t know what we’ve been thinking about,” I said.

Avior’s ethereal gold eyes swept the mostly barren office and then glanced at me. “May I?” he asked.

I shrugged. “Take what you need,” I said. “You know I neither care nor mind.”

His eyelids fluttered a little as he fed off my emotions, recharging his magic just a little. He snapped his fingers. I heard things in my drawers and the drawers of his desk across the room from mine shuffle around. Avior grinned. “He’ll never find anything. There’s nothing to find anymore.”

I nodded. “You know you don’t have to ask to feed on me, right?” I got up from my desk and moved around some of the papers on the bulletin board to make them look organized rather than haphazard. “I told you that you can whenever you need to. You have standing permission.” I peeked at him over my shoulder.

He shrugged. “I know. But when it’s you rather than a scheduled visit in a private room, it feels rude,” he replied. “Especially since we actually became friends.”

“Avior. Passively take whatever you need. I don’t care.”

He shrugged. “I care.” He crossed to his own desk and opened a drawer, rifling through it. “Lasko offered you champagne, didn’t he? I can smell it on you.”

“He did.”

“Did you drink it?”

“You think I trust him? Of course I didn’t.”

Avior shut his drawer, holding something small in his hand. He passed me the alcohol swab. “Here. If you want to get the smell off.”

I took it, tore open the paper packaging, and wiped down my hands. The sharp scent of sterilized cleaning supplies hit my nose. “Thanks.” I shuddered. “God, he’s such a creep. Like, I swear… you know how Vindemiator mentioned that his Freelancer… friend gets a lot of unwanted looks from Lasko? The guy looks at me the same way.”

Avior grimaced. “I’m sorry.”

I shrugged. “I can handle him. He’s powerful, I’ll give him that. And air is a dangerous element to mess with. But I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve, even as a Freelancer.” I winked at him playfully and went back to organizing the bulletin board. Avior chuckled quietly—and in the corner of my eye I saw his reflection in the window shaking his head. I smiled to myself, biting my lower lip.

“Just… be careful around him. Please?”

“Always.” I shoved a pushpin into the corkboard.

—

“I didn’t expect you to be waiting outside for me,” President Moore said, taking a sip from the to-go cup of coffee in his hand. I shrugged, tugging my blazer tighter around me. “You look so cold. Let’s get inside.”

“I mean. It’s Dahlia in January. It’s a bit brisk. It’s not cold. Not compared to where I grew up, anyway.” I opened the door to the haven. Lasko took the door from me.

“I insist,” he said.

“Thank you, sir,” I said. I slipped inside and let him follow after me. He straightened his suit jacket with one hand, the other still around his coffee cup. “Well. Allow me to welcome you back to the daemon haven, President Moore.” I gestured to the young man at the reception desk. “You’ll remember our receptionist.”

“Good afternoon, President Moore,” the receptionist said.

“Pleasure to see you again,” Moore replied, not sounding genuine at all.

I put in the code to the doors that led toward the feeding rooms and the daemon quarters, holding the door open. Moore let me, this time, as he ducked through. He took another sip of his coffee cup. “Would you like to see the improvements I’ve been working on for the feeding rooms first or—”

“Coordinator, Mr. President,” one of the enforcers greeted as he slipped by.

“Tyler,” I replied. Moore ducked his head but said nothing.

Once Tyler was out of sight, Moore glanced around the junction and met my eyes. “Actually, let’s start in your office, shall we?”

“Of course,” I said, gesturing down the hallway. We bypassed the feeding rooms and the private rooms and went straight to the admin offices.

Avior was sitting at his desk when we came in. He glanced up from a paper he was reading.

“Avior. We have a visitor,” I said, giving him a significant look.

The academy president followed me into the office. He and Avior immediately exchanged a similar scowl. “Avior,” Lasko said.

“Moore,” Avior replied flatly.

I sighed. “Can we all agree to pretend to get along for a few minutes?” I asked tiredly.

Avior’s expression softened immediately as his gaze met mine. “Apologies, coordinator.” His voice was quiet, almost like he didn’t want Lasko to hear. I gave him a small but encouraging smile.

Lasko gave me a lascivious smile. “Of course,” he agreed. “Now, go on. Show me around.”

I pointed. “My desk.” I pointed again. “Avior’s desk.” Avior gave a single half-hearted wave. “This is our bulletin board, where we keep the information we get from the academy and the enforcers in the haven. We have…” I pointed to the stack of papers all under one thumbtack. “These are requisition request copies. These…” I gestured to another stack under a single tack. “These ones are reports from the daemons who are housed here. Self-assessments that I started doing when I signed on here, as well as anonymous reporting of any problems with fellow daemons experienced here.”

Lasko gave me a look. “Dear, what do you care if they have petty squabbles with each other?” he asked. “That’s not your job.”

“My job is to help Avior keep this place running as smoothly as we can,” I pointed out, pretending to be oblivious to his bigotry. “And if we end up with a squabble between two daemons, I don’t want the enforcers getting hurt trying to get between them. Best to head off problems before violence breaks out.”

Lasko faked a pout in my direction. “My dear, this place doesn’t deserve you.”

I shrugged. “That’s not for me to say.” I turned back to the bulletin board. “Anyway. Um… oh, while I have you here, President Moore, I was wondering if it would be possible to discuss simplifying the paperwork necessary for getting a memory modification?” Lasko didn’t notice Avior perk up behind us. “I’ve been going through them all and they are such a slog. I actually have a few different options already drafted, if I could submit them to you for review—”

“Coordinator, that can wait,” Lasko interrupted. “I came to see your progress on the haven, not talk about paperwork.”

I shot Avior an apologetic glance that Moore didn’t see as he peered over a map pinned by all four corners to the bulletin board. Avior shrugged.

“This is where you track who’s in which bedroom and their race, right?”

“Yes.”

“Do you think it’s wise to have a Serenity Daemon and a Sadism Daemon next to each other?”

“Camelopardalis and Vega get along well enough.” I shrugged. “They barely see each other or speak to each other.”

“Those two have given us the least amount of problems as neighbors,” Avior added.

Lasko bounced his eyebrows. “I see,” he said. He kept inspecting the map. “Why don’t you group them by race?” The question was directed over his shoulder to Avior.

“Putting the Sadism Daemons together was a bad idea when I first organized everything,” Avior said. “There were only two at the time but they don’t get along.”

“Everyone gets along better if they’re near friends,” I added.

“I see.” Lasko nodded. I noticed his gaze linger on one slip of paper tacked to the laminated map. A magenta slip with Vin on it. Shortened because Vindemiator couldn’t fit on the slip in Avior’s larger handwriting with Incubus on there too. He narrowed his eyes—and then straightened where he’d been leaning close to the map.

“Alright. I think you’ve covered the office. Want to show me the feeding rooms? You mentioned you made some changes?”

“Of course, sir.” I swept an arm toward the door. Lasko followed me out. Avior got up as we passed and brought up the rear. “Avior, I can manage,” I said.

“I know. I’m going to go speak with some enforcers in the security booth. I’ll follow until the junction and then go my own way,” Avior replied casually. I nodded. He trailed Moore and I out of the room as I led Lasko back to the feeding rooms.

“So, some of the visitors that we get to feed the daemons are fairly private people,” I explained as we walked. “And a lot of them are kind of embarrassed about the fact that they’re feeding daemons. Others still are willing to offer up their emotions, but don’t want to have any sort of… contact with the daemon they’re feeding. I’ve noticed that most often with the Sadism and Desire Daemons.”

“Desire Daemons,” Lasko mused. “That’s an interesting choice of words for incubi and succubi.”

I made a face. “Seems politer as a blanket term,” I said. Avior peeled off from our walk to head to the security booth.

“Have you ever considered your compassion for these daemons to be unwarranted?”

I pretended, again, not to notice his bigotry. Playing the part of the innocent human who just wanted to help. “No,” I replied, voice higher-pitched to make sure I sounded dismissive but thoughtful, rather than blatantly contrarian. I led him the rest of the way to the feeding rooms and opened one of the doors to one that was empty. Once we were inside, I put the doorstopper in the way so it wouldn’t lock for an hour behind us.

“So… these are in all the rooms?” Moore asked, going over to the small divider.

It was a piece of plywood, attached perpendicular to the wall. There was a seat on either side, and the plywood had been painted with nature scenes on either side. An unempowered friend of mine who was a skilled artist had helped me make the plywood look nice. It only blocked off a small portion of the room, leaving the rest of the space open.

“No. Just four of them. Most people don’t care if they see the daemon they’re feeding or not. But for those few who don’t want to see, we put a few up so it’d be an option for the humans who aren’t… comfortable. Both sides are still visible to the cameras, I made sure of that when we picked their positions in each room. I didn’t want any potential liabilities to the academy for hiding one side or the other.”

Moore stood uncomfortably close next to me, setting his hand low on the small of my back to lean around me and study the short divider. “Interesting addition. I like it,” he said. He turned back and gave me a smile. Not removing his hand from my back. “You know, you’re something really special. To have made all these changes and lasted as long as you have in this position where so many others have failed. That takes a special kind of person.”

The pressure of his hand on my back felt like he was trying to lead me to the blind spot directly under the security camera.

I stepped away from his hand, faking oblivious. “Thanks,” I said. “Would you like to see the common areas?”

—

Avior watched the coordinator on the security monitor in one of the feeding rooms. Watched as President Moore’s hand slid around their lower back. From half the haven away, a spike of discomfort shot from the coordinator and slammed into Avior’s senses.

Visibly, they didn’t indicate that they didn’t like the Air Elemental’s touch at all.

Avior’s eyes narrowed. A growl rumbled deep in his chest. Get your vile hands away from them, you disgusting, power-abusing peon, he thought aggressively.

What’s got you so riled? a familiar voice asked softly in his mind. Never hurried and rarely raised.

Not now, Vega, Avior retorted.

Awww, come now… I sense your distress from here. What’s wrong?

President Moore is visiting.

I’m aware. I can taste his malice from here. It’s quite… delectable. If you have the palette for it.

Well I don’t. Now stop it. Rage trembled through Avior’s magic. Why was he so angry? Sure he and Lasko had never seen eye-to-eye and he never intended to try, but this should have been righteous indignation or frustration. Why was he so angry, seeing that creep put his hands on Avior’s coordinator—

Wait.

Avior unclenched his fist.

Since when do you think of them as yours? he thought to himself.

He blinked several times and turned his attention inward. Peeling back layers of that anger and frustration, looking for something hiding underneath. Shoving the reds of those emotions out of the way. A layer of jealousy writhed inside underneath, green and sickly.

Snuggled underneath everything, soft pink glowed faintly.

Ohhh sh—

Vega’s laughter echoed in his mind. Vindemiator’s joined.

—

The door to the admin office opened and slammed shut. I looked up to see Avior storming in.

“What’s the matter with you?” I asked, turning my attention back to the screen.

Avior dropped into his desk chair and shoved his fingers through that thick, chocolate brown hair of his. Mussing the tight waves. “I hate it when our good academy president visits.”

I shrugged. “Can’t avoid it. Thanks for playing nice though.”

“I wouldn’t have if you hadn’t outright asked both of us,” he growled.

“I figured. And I appreciate your willingness to try.” I went back to typing. Avior grabbed a pen and bent over a paper sitting on his desk.

Crack!

I looked up. Avior had snapped the pen in half.

“Are… are you okay, Avior?”

“No!” he snapped.

“Don’t you get short with me. I’m trying to help. What’s wrong?”

“He’s such a… he’s such a creep! I hate putting up with him!” Avior exclaimed. Ink had bled bluish black all over his hand from how badly he’d broken the pen.

“I agree. But for now, that’s a necessary evil or whatever,” I said, trying to keep cool, taking my hands off my keyboard to give him more of my attention.

“Don’t be complicit in his issues,” Avior spat.

I stood up from my desk and stomped around it. “Excuse you?” I demanded. “Since when have I ever been complicit in his abuses? I’ve been actively fighting to undermine him since the first damn day I assigned myself to this place. If I go along with what he says, it’s because I’m lying to him and trying to get him not to look at us too closely. I’m trying to tell him what he wants to hear so he thinks I’m going along with it.”

“Yet you let him touch you.”

I stiffened. “Trust me. I hated every second,” I replied. “If I thought I could dodge without rousing his ire, I would have.”

Avior got up from his desk. He twirled his finger in the air, indicating for me to turn while the ink siphoned off of his hand and disappeared. I spun in a slow circle. Avior’s eyes wracked me up and down.

“What are you looking for?” I asked with a sigh.

“Did he hurt you?”

I snorted. “I think even Moore knows better than to mess with me. I’m, like, at least a year older than him, and graduated the academy early. Fully certified. He may be a specialist race but I think he’s smart enough to guess that messing with the Freelancer who medalled at the E ‘n’ E Games in Combo Energetic Freestyle performance for holding concentration on all four types at once is a bad idea.”

“He’d better.” Avior inspected me closely as I finally turned back around to face him. “I can’t believe you let him put his hands on you.” He leaned up from inspecting my back to look around my neck—not touching me but tugging the collar of my shirt away by its fold to reveal the skin. He was standing really close. But there was none of the discomfort wriggling in my chest that came with Moore’s lustful leering when it was Avior’s concerned face.

“Well what the hell was I supposed to do, Avior?!” I demanded, holding as still as I could so I didn’t accidentally touch him, but letting my frustration vent into my tone. “If I moved away too obviously he’d get pissed and then I might get fired and then our plans would be a little dampened with me losing my access to the haven.”

“You could have—I don’t know—moved out of his reach? Stayed arm’s length away from him?”

“And risked him noticing that I was being cold and impersonal and sparking his temper! I’m trying to be as under the radar as I can be. Why are you putting this on me?”

“I’m not—not intentionally. I just… he put his hands on you. And you let him.”

“Oh my G—what does it matter? He’s my boss and he likes being in control. If I play along, he doesn’t scrutinize me—or the whole damn haven—too much.”

“You still let him!”

“Why do you care so much about this?” I put myself squarely in front of him.

Avior grabbed my shoulders and pinned me to the wall beside my desk. “Because I love you!”

My jaw dropped.

His eyes widened, their glittering gold catching the light. He swore under his breath and let me go as roughly as he grabbed me, letting me lean away from the wall. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I’m sorry. Just forget I said anything. We’re coworkers—nothing more. We’re barely even that considering I’m a daemon and you’re human. It doesn’t matter what I—mmph!”

He was cut off as I grabbed the collar of his shirt around the polo’s buttons and pulled him in to me, kissing him full on the mouth. I felt him release a burst of magic a split second before our lips met. He’s covering the cameras… the thought passed out of my head as quick as it formed.

Both of us released a sigh of contentment. Avior’s warm, soft hand slid over the back of my neck and the small of my back. The same place Moore had touched, but safe and intimate instead of awkward and uncomfortable. Hold me, hold me, love me, love me… the words swirled around in my mind too fast for me to process.

All I knew was that Avior’s mouth was on mine and my other fist had balled in the back of his polo shirt. “I love you,” I breathed onto his lips. “I’ve been in love with you for a while now. I just didn’t know how you would take it.”

“I assure you, I’ve wanted you for just as long,” he replied in a whisper. “I love you.” He pulled me impossibly closer. “You taste amazing. All of you.”

He shuddered slightly under my hands. The shudder I recognized when he fed on intense emotions. He wasn’t just meaning the taste of my chapstick.

Holding me against him, he backed up. His desk didn’t have a computer on it, so it was easy for him to lie me down across the top of the desk, climbing up on top of me. “Is this okay?” He was breathless as he asked.

I reached around his waist with one leg, dragging his torso down to fall against mine. “More than okay.”

He kissed me, hard.

“C’mere,” I whispered.

His hands fumbled for the buttons on my shirt. My back arched to help him with better angles.

—

“Do you think Moore knows?” Avior asked softly, hand warm and soft around mine. “We’ve been careful to keep the cameras covered with illusions that show us doing our jobs. But… do you think he knows?”

“I don’t care,” I said.

“I care.” He cupped the side of my face with his other hand, fingers sliding into my hair. “Look at me, my starlight.” I met his gaze. “If he knows, that’s something he could use against you. I don’t want to be the reason you’re in the crosshairs of the Imperium. People go missing under mysterious circumstances all the time. And I don't want that to happen to you because you dared to be in love with a daemon.”

I gently pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose. “I don’t think he’d risk losing my powers. He knows I’m a valuable asset. I think the risk of me being in love with you is outweighed by my usefulness.”

“I hope you’re right.” Avior sighed. “Vindemiator’s human is going to try to plant the bug in the system tonight.” He kissed my forehead. “You should try to tell your friend with the wolf pack.”

“I’ll reach out.” I moved to get up off the edge of the roof—one of the camera blindspots—but Avior caught my hand.

“Starlight…” His voice was barely more than a whisper. “Be safe. If all this fails, I need you alive to hold as your world ends.”

“I know. I’ll be back soon. I promise.”

We shared one more long, desperate kiss before I slipped away. We still had work to do.

[1-800-gaygentsofshield]

not her choice, part 2 | n.r.

part 2, part 1 here

summary: y/n and natasha will do anything for love, whether they realize it or not

warnings: nsfw themes, angst, brainwashing, violence, kidnapping, y/n and nat making dramatic calls, injury, basically "fuck" in different contexts

word count: 7,354

(sorry this is long I didn't want to split it up into more parts, not proofread as always)

(ALSO SIDE NOTE LOOK AT HER HANDS MY LESBIANISM IS FUCKING SCREAMING)

"You're pulling your punches." The man in stars, you now know as steve rogers, says as he stands across from you, nose bloody and shield in hand. You raise an eyebrow being your mask, as if asking him "You want me to stop?" After a pause, he nods his head and gets back into a fighting stance. "Please, continue."

Ever since that little..ahem..incident with Natasha, she's been telling you to not hurt her teammates, even though most of them have superpowers you might add, so you've been pulling your punches in fights ever since. You still beat their asses it was just..a lighter beating. You were treading in dangerous waters here, knowing that if Hydra suspects you even in the slightest bit they'll bring you back to the lab and wipe your mind again.

You dodge a swing from Steves shield and quickly knock him off balance, playing more defense than offense at this point. The Avenger quickly regains his traction and charges at you, tackling you to the ground so that the wind gets knocked out of you. You, as best as you can, try to dodge his punches on the ground, genuinely surprised when the asphalt underneath you sinks in with his punch. When his fist sinks into the ground once more, you grab his torso and use your legs to shove him off of you, landing a punch in that all-American boy face of his once you get on top of him. Instead of beating the man bloody like you would usually do, you shove yourself up and move away from him, trying to spot Natasha in all the chaos.

Your search stops when you hear Natasha's voice from behind you, her words being accompanied with a punch. "Hey." The punch isn't enough to hurt you but its enough to grab your attention as you turn around and grab her arm. Your grip is firm but not uncomfortable, letting Nat know that they hadn't brainwashed you yet. "Hey." You reply back, throwing a punch that she easily blocked. "You still with me?" She asks as her hand grabbing your wrist twists it back. "I let the guy with the metal arm beat me up twice, what do you think?" You say as you hit her stomach to make her stumble back.

The hits are hard but not fatal as Natasha moves to kick you in the stomach, you easily grabbing her leg and pulling her down to the ground. You land on top of her and you grin, "You've gotten soft, Romanoff." You tease in a breathy laugh as you see her quirk an eyebrow up. "Don't pretend like I can't kick your ass with my eyes closed, y/l/n." She says as she quickly shifts her weight and pins you down, an amused look on her face. "How come you always end up on your back when I'm with you?" She asks and you roll your eyes, scoffing but also realizing how true she is. Before you can reply there's comm's static in your ears, a Hydra officer barking the command to move out.

"I've got to go." You say as Nat gets off of you, hopping back up and making sure you've got your gun in it's holster. "Where will you be tonight?" Natasha asks as you fix yourself, her statement causing you to shoot her a teasing look under your mask. "You'll find me Romanoff." And with that, you turn and leave, not needing to look back to see the amused look on the red-heads face.

--------

"Couldn't find any more shitty hotels?" Natasha asks as she sees you standing behind a run-down gas station, chewing on some gum that you bought with the change you found on the sidewalk. "They were all booked." You shrugged, lips turning up a bit at the sight of your favorite person. "Mm, come here." Natasha hums as she reaches you, gently pulling you in by your chin to kiss you.

These secret meetings have been happening for a while now, being both beneficial to the two of you and the Avengers.

You immediately told Natasha about Hydra's plan about building the next atomic weapon soon after her head came up from between your thighs, the redhead listening intently as you spill all of Hydra's intel. That's when she told you about them, the Avengers, and how they protect the world from Hydra and otherworldly threats. She said she might introduce you to them sometime, saying that the people there don't see others for their worst mistakes.

At that point in time though, you didn't care what side you were on, as long as Natasha was there you would fight alongside her. That's how it was like for your entire life, not caring about the sides of good or evil, only ever caring about Natasha and keeping her safe.

You wince at her action and she pulls back immediately, a concerned look on her face as she looks for the cause of your pain. It's then when she sees the blossoming bruise on your jaw, right where her fingertips grazed when she pulled you in. "Who did this?" She asked and you shrug, reaching up to touch the purple and red spot. "The guy with the metal arm, it really packs a punch." You reply as you see the worry lines deepen between her brows, causing you to cup her neck and pull her in for a soft kiss. "I'm alright Nat." You whisper, kissing her a few more times before leaning back. "I've gone through worse." You say and she frowns, intertwining her free hand with yours as cars pass by. "Haven't we all." Nat sighs and you nod, running your thumb along the back of her hand.

-------

"Fuck! Tasha!"

You grip the back of the headboard as Natasha brings you to another orgasm, knuckle deep inside of you as she kisses your chest lustfully. "That's it, good girl." The redhead hums as your chest rises and falls, you trying to catch your breath as Natasha's fingers start to gradually slow down. Cum coats your inner thighs and sweat sheens your skin in regards to the many times Natasha has made you cum in the past few hours, finally deciding that you've had enough when she fully pulls her fingers out.

"God you have a lot of stamana." You laugh as your breathing finally calms down, moving your hand to pull her into a deep kiss. "I still have a lot more in me, y'know." Natasha hums as she moves to kiss your jaw, trailing it down your neck as she peppers kisses along the flushed skin. "I know just- just give me a minute." You breaths out as you let your eyes fluttered closed, liking the feeling of Natasha laying between your legs as she praises your skin.

It's not long after when your arousal starts to build again, deciding to take the initiative by gently bringing Nat's lips up to yours. "Natalia." You say breathily, your free hand intertwining with Natasha's hair. "Zachem tebe moy golub'?" She asks, heat pooling in her stomach as she feels you tug at her roots. "Ya tak khochu tebya trakhnut', Tasha." Your tone is filled with lust as you kiss Nat deeper, teeth tugging at lips and tongues meeting one another. "Mm bud' moim gostem." She hums and you grin, flipping Natasha over so she's on her back. You look at her for a second and smile, causing her to give you a curious look. "What are you looking at?" She asks with a small smile and you shrug, "You." You hum before kissing her, your teeth tugging at her bottom lip as your hands move down south.

"My god you're cheesy."

-------

"Nat, wait up." Steve catches up with Natasha as she's walking down the compound hallway, the assassin slowing down her stride as the super-soldier gets in step with her. That little action is enough to tell Steve to continue, taking a moment to contemplate his words before speaking. "So..y/n." He starts off slow to see Natashas reaction, deciding that it was okay when the redhead kept a straight face.

"What about her?" She asks and Steve purses his lips together, thinking for a moment before grabbing Nat by the arm and pulling her into a storage closet. "What the hell, Rogers?" Nat asks as Steve closes the door behind them, his voice going down to a whisper as he speaks.

"I know you've been seeing her, Tasha." He starts off and Nat only furrows her brows, looking up annoyedly at the man. "I don't know what you're talking about." She says and he raises his eyebrow. "You're not being discrete Nat. I've seen you fight before and what you do with her is not it. You've knocked down people twice your size before but let her fight you like it's some sparring session." Steve says and Natasha opens her mouth to interject. "She's trained with me in the Red Room, of course she's going to be on my level-" "And that too. After every encounter we have with them you disappear for the evening, usually not arriving until 3 am with Hydra information given to you by your "inside source."" He finishes and Natasha sighs, knowing that she's been caught.

"Okay fine, you want to know the truth?" She asks in a low voice and he nods his head, waiting for Natasha to give her explanation. "I've been- fuck- I've been meeting with her after missions. She used to be brainwashed by Hydra but she broke out of it, hence the reason she's giving me information on Hydra's plans." She says and he stays quiet, the puzzle pieces clicking together as Natasha continues. "I've missed her, Steve, after all these years so I go to make sure she's okay and..other things." Her sentence trails off as she doesn't want to reveal her sex life to her best friend.

"Other things?" Cap raises his eyebrow and Tasha rolls her eyes. "We..comfort each other in not safe for work ways." She says and Steve looks confused for a moment before his mouth opens in a soft "oh- ohhh." "Just please don't tell the team, Steve. You out of all people should understand what it's like to have someone you..care about..taken by Hydra." Nat says and Steve's face softens, a gentle sigh escaping his lips before a grin breaks across it.

"Is this love, Agent Romanoff?" He asks and she shakes her head, stepping back to grab the door handle. "Love is for children, Rodgers, this is just.." She pauses, trying to find the correct word for the situation that she's in. "Comfort?" He offers and she nods her head, opening the door fully. "Comfort."

------

You watch Natasha with curious eyes as she towel dries her hair, you only being dressed in underwear and a bra as you lay stomach-down on the bed. It had been a particularly hard fight that day, Hydra pushing to take bigger strides in their next big war machines. The Avengers, of course, came in and tried to stop them and they conveniently broke into the base that you were being held at.

You were there being punished for your recent behavior, Hydra officers treating you like an animal as they kicked and hit you. "It needs to be put back into it's place." They practically spat at you like you were some sort of monster, threatening you with knifes to your throat as they criticized every breath you took. The next time they send you into the lab, you know you're going to get brainwashed, waiting for the scale to tip as you sat there helplessly watching. You just found Natasha after years of suffering and you weren't too keen on forgetting her.

A soft hand against your back pulls you back into reality as you see where Natasha's soft gaze is looking at, her fingertips gently tracing the scars along your back. "What are you looking at?" You ask even though it's pretty obvious, Natasha's emerald eyes meeting yours. "Who did this to you?" She asks with furrowed brows and you shrug one shoulder. "You want me to give you a list?" You joke half-heartedly as she moves across the bed, gently straddling your back as you feel her fingertips map out your scars. The feeling makes you hum contently, your eyes fluttering closed as Natasha touches you like the most delicate thing in the world.

Nat has never been the soft type, choosing to show her love through reassuring shoulder pats and quiet comfort instead of gushy romantic acts. That's why it genuinely surprises you when you feel a soft kiss placed on your back, right where a stab wound was a few years ago. "I'm gonna kill every single one of them." She mumbles and you can't help the laugh that escapes your lips, your head turning to look over your shoulder. "I know." You hum, a feeling of déjà vu washing over you.

------

"Kto sdelal eto s toboy?"

Who did this to you?

Natasha's voice is clipped as she holds your chin with her fingers, seeing you try and blink back the tears that threaten to fall. Your nose is bruised and bleeding, the skin under your eyes starting to turn purple and red.

"Anastasiya."

Your voice is barely above a whisper as rage burns in Natasha's eyes. Anastasiya is one of the older girls in the Red Room, almost four years older than you and a good five heads taller. You had beaten her when you were sparring but as soon as no one else was looking she got you cornered, making the other girls her age hold you down as she took out her rage on you.

"Ona bol'she nikogda ne prikosnetsya k tebe, kogda ya zakonchu s ney."

She will never touch you again when I'm done with her.

You know that tone on Natasha, knowing that Anastasiya is going to have more than one bend in her arm when Natasha gets done with her.

"Nat, ne nado. U tebya budut problemy, i ya spravlyus' sam."

Nat, don't. You're going to get in trouble and I can handle myself.

Natasha's face softens a bit as she looks at you, her other hand coming up to rub your shoulder.

"YA znayu, pauchok, no pozvol' mne napomnit' yey."

I know, little spider, but let me give her a reminder.

-------

"But-" You start and she nods her head. "But you can handle yourself, I know." Natasha says, moving up a bit to kiss your shoulder. “No, what I was going to say was that they all died shortly after.” You say and she laughs softly against your skin, mumbling a “good girl” as she goes to kiss your cheek. Her lips conveniently land on the scar she gave you all those years ago, the thin line going along your cheekbone.

"That, you did yourself." You say teasingly but you can see her face drop a bit, her lips peppering over the scarred skin. "I'm sorry." She whispers but you shake your head, turning under her so you can face her. "It's okay Nat, we were young and they forced us to train with knives. Shit happens." You say nonchalantly, hands playing with the hem of her tank top. It's then when you see the scars on Natasha's skin, bullet wounds and cuts littering her skin. She notices your gaze and moves her hand down to hold yours, seeing your brows furrow.

You glance up at Natasha and feel your chest tighten as you see her look down at your intertwined hands, her thumb gently brushing up and down the back of your hand. "Your hands have changed." Natasha states under her breath as she glances up at you briefly, seeing you raise an eyebrow in question. "What do you mean?" You ask and Natasha holds your intertwined hands up.

"See, there's more scars on your knuckles and there's a new cut right here." She says and you nod your head, not really noticing the changes until now. "The last time I saw you, they were so much different." She mumbles and you raise an eyebrow, a slightly amused look on your face. "Since when have you paid so much attention to my hands?" You ask and she shrugs, your heart rate speeding up as you watch Natasha's fingers play with your own.

--------

"YA skazal tebe, chto u tebya budut problemy."

I told you that you'd get in trouble.

You hum as you gently grab Natasha's bruised hands, taking a ripped piece of cloth to clean up her bleeding knuckles.

"Oni sobiralis' rasskazat' o nas instruktoram."

They were going to tell the instructors about us.

Natasha winces as you wrap up her hands, carefully making sure that it isn't too tight as you tend to her injury.

"My mogli by spravit'sya s etim, Nat."

We could have handled it, Nat.

You sigh and Natasha shakes her head, her free hand moving to rest on her knee.

"No oni by nas nakazali."

But they would have punished us.

You nod your head and bite your lip, looking up into those green eyes as you hold her hand gently in your own.

"YA mog by prinyat' eto za nas oboikh."

I could have taken it for the both of us.

Natahsa's eyebrows furrow as she hears your words, her bandaged hand coming up to cup your cheek as the other grabs your free hand.

"Net."

No.

She gently brings your hand up to kiss your knuckles lightly.

"Net, ya ne pozvolyu tebe sdelat' eto dlya menya."

No, I won't let you do that for me.

You slowly move your hand to cup her cheek, Natasha's hand moving to cover your own.

"YA by vzyal na sebya mir za tebya, Natal'ya."

I would take on the world for you, Natalia.

Your words are a whisper but to Natasha, it was like a shout from the rooftops. The redhead slowly moves and kisses your hand that was resting on her cheek, causing a blush to dust your cheeks as she softly smiles at you.

"I ya dlya vas."

And I for you.

------------

Gently guiding her hand to cup your cheek, the both of you smile, you leaning into the warm touch as Natasha relishes the moment.

---------

You awake with a jolt as you hear heavy doors close outside of the motel room, it now being in the dead of night. Slowly moving from Natasha's arms, you go take a look outside, hoping to see that there's nothing. Your hopes are shattered when through the window, you can see the faint outline of a Hydra vehicle and multiple armed men, your heartrate spiking as you see the ones in white coats. "Shit." You hiss out as you start to pull clothes on, all of the rustling causing Natasha to awake. "Y/n?" She asks groggily as she sees you frantically moving around the room, hastily putting a shirt on and trying to find your weapon.

"Y/n what's happening?" She restates herself and is fully awake when you finally make eye contact with her, seeing the worry behind your eyes as you move towards her. "Nat, they're here." You rush out as you hand her some clothes, frantically trying to get the redhead out of here before she could get involved. "Whose here? Hydra?" She questions and you nod your head, feeling the bridge of your nose start to sting as reality comes crashing down on you. "They're here for me- shit- you have to go." You say as you try and pull yourself together.

"What? No, Y/n, I'm not leaving you again." Natasha says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world, pulling on some clothes and shoes. "Natalia this isn't fucking debatable, okay? I won't ever forgive myself if they get their hands on you." You say as you glance out the window one more time, mumbling a curse word as you start to see the figures close in. "Why are you acting like I can't handle myself?" Nat asks and you shake your head, opening a window opposite to the parking lot.

"I know you can handle yourself Nat, I've seen you fight hoards of threats and make your way out alive..I just don't want to pull you into this fight with me." You say before crossing the room and standing in front of Nat. "You've been the only thing I've cared about my entire life, please understand why I want you safe." Your voice is softer as you speak to her, her green eyes still prominent in the moonlit room. "What about you?" Nat asks in a whisper, a worried expression set across her face as you give her a watery grin.

"You know I never die, Natalia." You say as she shakes her head. "I'm like a cat and my lives haven't run out just yet." You continue and a laugh breaks past Nat's lips, causing you to smile even as a tear runs down your cheeks. "There it is." You breathe out and she looks at you questioningly. "What is it?" She asks. "I just wanted to see your smile one last time." You reply as you kiss a tear from her cheek, Natasha then moving to gently kiss your lips. The kiss is soft and passionate, you both trying to communicate to each other a message you both aren't ready to say yet.

Sooner than you'd like, the two of you break away, both of you giving the other a watery smile as you sniffle. "I'll come back to you, Nat. I promise." You whisper and she nods her head, gently kissing your temple as your eyes flutter closed. "You better, or else I'll beat your ass." She says and you give a shaky chuckle, hearing the Hydra men starting to kick down apartment doors. "I'm planning on it."

Hydra doesn't take long to storm the motel room, quickly seizing you before you had a chance to react. You were happy to comply with them until you saw them grab Natasha's arm, you immediately tearing from the Hydra agent's grip to tackle his ass. You successfully break his arm but aren't so lucky when you feel a wave of electricity shoot through your body, every muscle tensing up as you fall to the floor. "Fuck." You curse through gritted teeth as you force yourself to get up, looking at Natasha with desperate eyes as she hasn't left yet.

"Go!"

As the words leave your lips, both of you could almost see each other back on that mountainside, the dead bodies of the other girls littered around you as you kill another one for Natasha to escape. It felt like you were a teenager again, seeing Natasha teeter between staying and leaving as she stood at the treeline. A grunt of pain leaves your lips as one of the men shoves you into a desk, the wood breaking underneath you as air rushes out of your lungs. You've only taken down a few men, stabbing one of them in the throat with their own knife. As they start to overwhelm you, you take one last look at Natasha, seeing as she's taking one last glance at you as her hands rest on the window frame. As you lock eyes with her, you say one simple phrase.

"It's okay."

-------

Natasha isn't paying attention at all in the meeting the next day, not getting the image of your worried look out of her mind. “Romanoff, did you hear me?” Tony asks and her eyes glance upwards, the other Avengers looking at her as they await her answer. “Sorry, what?” She asks and Tony sighs, pointing towards a highlighted point in the mountainside. "From the information we've gathered, Bruce surmises that the next Hydra base is here, the building located about thirty feet below the surface." He explains and Natasha nods her head, her attention immediately being drawn when the word Hydra slips past his lips. "I was asking your opinion on how we should enter the compound without getting caught." Tony finishes, waiting for Natasha to give her input as he sees the gears turning in her head.

"It's the compound that they use for their experiments, right?" She asks and Steve nods his head, Nat sighing as she looks at the dot on the map. "Well considering that it's underground they only need security for the entrances and exits, probably have a few patrolling the perimeter..I think our best entry point is here." She says, standing up and pressing a pen to the western side of the mountain. "Of course, we always have the risk of getting caught but it's lower than just walking through the front door." Natasha explains and all of the Avengers nod their head, she's not a trained soldier but she's a damn good spy if they've ever seen one.

------

"Nat, are you alright?" Steve asks after everyone clears out of the conference area, grabbing the assassin's arm before she leaves. "They've got her, Steve." She says and his eyebrows furrow. "Who?" He asks and Natasha sighs, looking up at the super-soldier. "Y/n. They took her last night." She explains and Steve sees the worry on his friend's face. "Do you think she's at the base we're going to?" He asks and Natasha shrugs her shoulders, "I don't know, but if she is there I'm gonna tear up the whole place until I find her." She says and Steve nods, seeing the determination in Nat's eyes. "We'll get her back Natasha." He says and Nat grins a bit, "I know."

-----

It's easy, almost too easy, getting into the Hydra base, Natasha only taking out five guards patrolling the area and guarding the entrance. "This doesn't feel right to me." Steve says as they head towards the entrance, the fresh snow crunching under their boots. "Nothing ever feels right to you, Cap." Hawkeye says as he flys overhead, making sure no Hydra agents get the jump on the pair. Natasha only quirks her head to the side when Steve makes eye contact with her, agreeing with both men as they reach the entrance. Natasha scans the entry card that they swiped off the guard and the door opens, immediately granting them access into the underground base.

-----

"Give her a sedative." One of the doctors commands as you continue to struggle, hitting anything you could reach as they try to strap you onto a stretcher. They've been touring and interrogating you the entire night, bargaining for information instead of brainwashing you.

"We saw that Avenger in the motel, tell us what you know and we won't wipe your memory." They say but you only clench your jaw and stay silent, ripping yourself from their grip each time they try and contain you.

"Don't you fucking touch me!" You grit out as you knock one of the men unconscious, kicking the stretcher away from you as you watch the doctor run to grab a sedative. Your body is covered in blood and bruises, still putting up a fight since you were taken a day ago. Getting shoved up against the wall you cry out in pain, your head getting aggressively slammed against the wall. You don't even realize the doctors came back with a sedative until you feel the prick of the needle in your neck, your vision going blurry as the fight leaves your body.

You don't put up a struggle as they drag you onto the stretcher, strapping your arms and legs down as everything moves in slow motion around you.

You know where they're taking you. You know you're about to get brainwashed.

As they push you down the hallway, you slowly close your eyes and try to burn the image of Natasha's face into your mind, feeling slightly calmer as you think of her wrapping you up in her arms and telling you that everything is going to be okay.

The next time you open your eyes, you're strapped down into the metal chair that they use for brainwashing, feeling like you're a shell of a person as you look down at your restraints. They force a piece of plastic into your mouth as you blankly stare at the doctors in white coats, only one thing on your mind as they prep the machine.

Natasha.

A tear rolls down your cheek quietly as the restraints latch onto you tighter, forcing you to lay back as your breathing starts to get heavier.

It never gets easier, the brainwashing, knowing that you'll only be a puppet to Hydra with no free will.

The metal paddles clamp around your head and your heart rate spikes, hearing the doctors beside you start to say the words you always dreaded to hear.

"Snow."

"Sixteen."

"Red."

With each word, you could feel the control leaving your body, bracing yourself for the pain that's going to come next.

"Ballet."

"Redback."

"Knife."

A scream rips from your throat as pain surges through your body, the machine being activated and making you pull against the restraints. Your vision fades in and out of focus as you continue to scream, every muscle in your body tensing as the brainwashing takes over.

You try your best to fight the pain, your mind trying desperately to hold onto the memory of Natasha as your trigger words reach your ears.

Natasha.

Natasha..

Natasha..?

Natalia?

Natalia..

No, it's Natasha.

Nat?

Natasha.

Natalia.

...

...

who?

Your eyes are blank as the machine finally releases you from its grip, a scientist having a pleased look on his face as he walks up to you. "Just to make sure this doesn't happen again." he says before commanding you to put your head forward, gripping your hair as he presses a cool metal gun to the back of your neck. With a click you could feel something being put into your neck, the new object feeling irritating under your skin. It's a small chip, maybe a quarter wide, and it's now attached to the nape of your neck, the needles embedding into your skin to make sure it stays in place.

"Are you ready to comply, Agent 809?" He asks and you nod your head, suddenly hearing alarms go off that there's been a security breach in the compound. "Say the word, sir, your wish is my command." You say and he grins, grabbing your chin. "Kill the Avengers." He says and you look at him in the eyes. "Main target?" You ask and he thinks for a moment, looking at the Hydra officers before looking back at you. ''The Black Widow."

------

Natasha hears your screams ring through the compound and she feels her blood run cold, Steve grabbing her arm before she could do anything stupid. "Natasha, don't." He says in a harsh whisper and she shakes her head, pulling herself from her grip as she continues to move down the hallway.

She quickly takes down the next few guards that she sees, not using her bullets yet so they don’t cause the rest of the base to be alerted of their presence. That plan doesn’t last long though when a guard gets the upper hand on her, causing her to shoot two bullets into his chest and making him drop. As soon as the shots are fired, alarms go off across the compound, causing Natasha to curse under her breath. “Language.” Steve says and Natasha rolls her eyes, picking up her gun and racing down the hallway to try and find you.

———-

Natasha kicks down a set of double doors and shoots the people inside, scanning the room for any sign of you. They've gone through 95% percent of the compound and haven't found you yet, Natasha getting more and more anxious as time goes on. "I heard her, I swear." She tells Steve each time they clear an area and come up empty.

It isn't until she sees you strapped to the chair that she lets out a breath of relief, you seemingly normal accept for the cuts and bruises. "Y/n, oh god you're okay." She breathes out as she reaches you, seeing the dazed look in your eyes as she undoes your restraints.

"I'm sorry." You whisper out in a last-ditch attempt to warn her before your chip clicks on. "Sorry? You're sorry for what?" Natasha asks but doesn't get a chance to reply before you knock her backwards, tearing out of the remaining restraints as you stand up.

The wind gets knocked out of Natasha and Steve gets into a fighting stance, you not even giving him a glance as you head towards Natasha. Steve quickly intervenes and throws his shield at you, your hand sticking out to grab it before tossing it to the floor. "That's all you've got, Capitan?" You sneer teasingly as you grab a knife from the table, getting a swing on him and clipping him in the cheek.

The super soldier quickly hits back though, kicking you in the stomach and making you stumble back. You quickly grab one of the cords that was attached to a computer and you wrap it around the Avenger's neck, maneuvering yourself so that you're behind him and pulling tight.

Stumbling backwards, he throws himself up against the wall, successfully breaking your grip as you get pinned between the wall and the Avenger. Steve quickly turns and pins you up against the wall by your neck, pulling his fist back to punch you. "Steve!" Natasha hisses out his name harshly and he turns to look at her, temporarily forgetting that you're brainwashed. He groans and tosses you to the floor, seeing the glowing chip on the back of your neck. You quickly get back up and go for Natasha, the redhead dodging your swing and making your fist go through the wall. "Y/n. Stop it." Natasha grits out as she grabs your arm and twists it behind your back, a hiss leaving your lips as you feel your muscles pop.

"Who. the fuck. is y/n?" You spit out as you maneuver yourself around and hit Natasha back, grabbing her throat and tossing her up against the wall. "They want me to kill you, so that's what I'm going to do." You say as you grab a beaker besides you, breaking it to create a shattered edge. You're about to swing the bottle when Steve comes up behind you and hits the back of your neck with his shield (and you swear later on that if he did it any harder your neck would have snapped). A cry of pain leaves your lips as the chip sparks and you stumble forward, your head bowing into Natasha's shoulder as pain surges through your body. Natasha freezes as she sees your shoulder slump, a small whimper of "Natasha." leaving your lips as the chip short circuits. "Y/n?" She asks and she sees your hand come up to grip at the back of your neck, your other hand dropping the shattered beaker. "Nat. The chip." You breathe out as you feel it starting to take hold again, pushing yourself away from her as your mind clouds over again.

"Steve, hit the chip again." Natasha commands and Steve nods his head, watching as your shoulders tense up again as you attack Natasha. She quickly blocks all of your hits and flips you over onto the floor, you quickly gripping onto her arm and pulling her down onto the floor with you.

The chip sparks again and for a second you regain control, scrambling up to the control panel and enabling the emergency demolition program. "What are you doing?" Steve asks and your jaw tenses, shutting all of the Hydra officers inside by locking all the exits except one. "I'm blowing this place up." You mumble, jaw tensing as the chip revs up once again. "I've locked all of them in, if you go to exit c9 that'll be the only one unlocked so you can escape." You say as you lock all of the doors inside of the compound, keeping all of them in place so they can't run.

"What about you?" Natasha asks as she gets up from the floor, looking at the chip flicker on and off. "The chip will take over sooner or later, I'd rather die in this explosion than let them use my body again." You say as you grip the side of the table, everything in your body being split in two with each side fighting to take control. "No you're not, we're getting you out of here." Steve says and it genuinely surprises the both of you, the man in stars grabbing your arm as you slam the button down to activate the explosion.

T-minus: two minutes

"I don't deserve to get out of here." You shake your head as you look at Natasha's neck, now bruised with your handprint as you wince. "I've hurt you, I've hurt her, I've hurt so many people. All of it is on my hands." You say and Natasha shakes her head, grabbing your hand and kissing the back of it gently. "I've left you once, Y/n, I'm not letting you go again." She says and you think for a moment, alarms blaring around you as you see the pleading look on her face. "Alright." You whisper, allowing Natasha to pull you out of the room as Steve follows close behind you.

You run down the hallway as you guide the two other Avengers towards the exit, quickly taking out any Hydra agents that gets in your way.

"There! There it is." You call out as you see exit c9, all three of you running towards it as the speakers count down.

T-minus: thirty seconds

The chip fully kicks back into gear as your eyes widen, your strides slowing down as it feels like someone wraps restraints around your body. "No, no no no. Please not now." You beg to yourself as both Steve and Nat notice, your eyes turning dead as your legs start to carry you away from the exit. "Oh no you don't." Natasha grits out as she tackles you, dragging you towards the exit as you fight against her.

Twenty five..

"Let go of me!" You hiss as you tear from her grip and Steve lingers near the exit, watching the interaction happen as a metal curtain starts to descend over the only open exit. "I'm taking you home, Y/n." Natasha says as she grabs onto your body, Steve moving to keep the door open as he calls the two of you to move.

Nineteen..

"Steve! Go!" Natasha yells out as she drags you towards the exit, blocking each hit you try and swing at her. Steve shakes his head and calls out over the alarms, "I'm not leaving you two!"

Natasha looks at him and shakes her head, being only ten feet from the exit. "Just go! I'm right behind you." She says and Steve reluctantly steps through the exit, the now dented metal sheet continuing to close on the two of you.

fifteen..

fourteen..

"Y/n please, stop fighting me." Natasha begs as you tear out of her grip again, heart-pounding as the alarms fill her head. "Why should I listen to you? You left me. You were everything to me and then you just left me!" You ask harshly as you see the tears in her eyes, Natasha seeing the real you starting to break through. "I didn't want to leave you, Y/n! I'm sorry!" Natasha's voice raises a bit in volume. "I wanted you to come but you were stubborn and stayed behind for me! You stayed behind and when I went back to you..you were already gone." She says and the gears turn in your head. "Then why are you here? Why are you going through so much trouble for me when you have a perfectly good life out there?" You ask, your body still tense as Natasha looks at you with an open mouth. "Because.."

Five..

Four..

"Because.."

Three..

Two..

"Fuck." Natasha doesn't finish her thought as she grabs you and holds you close to her chest, turning you so that your body isn't the closest one to the blast.

One.

The explosion shakes the ground as the two of you get tossed through the air, your body hitting the metal door with a thud. The ground shakes above you as the base comes apart, Steve pulling the metal curtain open and dragging the two of you out into the snow.

Natasha is coughing fiercely as the smoke and dust enters her lungs, gripping onto you for dear life as she feels Steve dragging the two of you out. Your blood stains the snow as Natasha sits up, heart dropping to her stomach as she sees your head loll back limply.

"Shit, Y/n!" She says as she taps on your cheek, blood running down her temple as she checks for signs of life. Your heartbeat is slow and your breathing is labored but you're alive, that final hit allowing the chip to fully break in half on the back of your neck. "It's because I love you, you idiot." Natasha whispers as she gently kisses your temple, Steves's jaw setting as he sees the little interaction.

------

The next time you wake up, you're in a sterile white room, your heart rate spiking as you think you're back in the Hydra lab again. Trying to push yourself up, your hands get stopped by restrains, the same straps tying down your legs. Swallowing thickly, you look around the room, the atmosphere making you feel vulnerable as you try and undo the restraints. A door opens to the right of you and panic seeps into your bones, thinking that it's a doctor coming in to run experiments on you again.

"Hey, it's okay." Natasha's soft voice reaches your ears as she comes over and undoes the restraints, gently freeing your legs and wrists before looking up at you. "I'm sorry, Bruce put them on for precaution." She says with a soft smile, taking a knee beside your bed so she's at eye level with you. You don't say anything as you move to hug her, your head immediately finding residence in the crook of your neck as you take a shaky breath. Your body aches and you're pretty sure you look like shit but you're so fucking happy that Natasha's here.

"Nat." You whisper softly as Natasha's arms quickly wrap around you, being careful to not hurt you as she closes her eyes. "I'm here, moy golub', I'm here." She whispers and you almost break down at that nickname, your arms tightening around her. "You're safe Y/n, you're free." She whispers and your mind can't even process her words, your only thoughts being how nice it feels to be wrapped up in Tasha's arms again.

When you pull away, there are tears in your eyes, Natasha gently wiping them away and kissing your cheeks.

"YA lyublyu tebya."

I love you.

The words slip from your lips before you could even process it, your eyes widening as you see the unreadable look on Natasha's face. "N-Nat, I'm so sorry, I didn't-" Natasha cuts you off with a kiss, gently pressing her lips to hers as she grins.

"ya tozhe tebya lyublyu."

I love you too.

---

"Should we do something about that?" Tony asks as the team looks through the one-way mirror they placed in your room, seeing Natasha climb into your bed and pull you into her chest. Your eyes close as you contently settle yourself into her, Natasha's hand rubbing circles along your back.

"Give them a break Tony, it's not like she's going or hurt anyone." Steve says as Bruce holds up the chip implant, "Yep, no more brainwashing for her." He says as the rest of them look at the two of you, never seeing Natasha this content until now.

[droogiesanddiscourse]

Ohhh hi ily, but i would like to request something from the prompt list thing. :) I think 7. The cereal aisle at 2 AM with Columbo would be funny and cute :)

┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。#7 - The cereal aisle at 2 AM

"Sugar Crash"

Columbo's tiny frame stood amongst the aisles of rainbow-colored boxes, still dressed in his work clothing. His index and thumb tap thoughtfully on his chin, as if in deep contemplation. You've been in the same aisle now for over 15 minutes, the low drone of the fluorescent lights overhead the only audible sound of the near-deserted grocery store.

Being delegated the very important task of pushing the cart, you sleepily march behind your never-tired partner. Attempting to garner just a moment's rest as Columbo peruses the endless cereal options, you prop your head up on your elbow, closing your eyes for a second.

"Uh, which one of these was your favorite again?" His mannerisms never changed, either on or off duty.

"Gee, I can remember what it is, but for the life of me I can't remember the name of it. The one with the little leprechaun guy with the colorful marshmallows, right?"

You yawn, yet nod your head in the universal signal for yes.

He backtracks his thoughts for a minute, second guessing his memory for a moment, before shaking his head no firmly. "No, no that can't possibly be right. Wasn't it somethin'...somethin' with one of those funny little monsters on the cover? The ones that have like a ghost on em', called "boo-berry." See that's pretty clever, love that. I think that was your favorite, actually."

You nod your head again, really not paying too much attention to the words coming out of his mouth. At this point you'd agree to anything to get out of this high fructose purgatory. You can feel your conscious fading out, Columbo's words literally going in one ear and out the other.

He reaches his arm up, fingertips barely grasping the box of "Boo-Berry" cereal. He holds it up, inspecting the box and reading the label as if it was some incredible clue to his latest mystery.

"Would you look at that. 100 milligrams of calcium, ain't that something. Y'know, the doctor is always saying I need to get more calcium in my diet. Something about drinking more milk. Makes the bones strong. Oh and they got 500 grams of Vitamin A, that sounds pretty good to me. Ain't that the uhhh...the vitamin you get from the sun? Huh. Do you happen to know [Y/N}..." he trails off, noticing the way your body awkwardly hunches over the shopping cart in a pathetic attempt at getting some form of rest.

He smiles, one of those soft and sweet smiles that always makes your heart flutter.

"I guess you didn't hear any of that, did you?"

send a prompt + character from this list

[rosenallies]

maybe partly based on the ask but feel free to add more/put your own spin on it!

I..forgot how to write smut I think smwwm is especially phone sex au smut bc the gals have been sad lately </3 so ..sorry bout this x

——

Denali clumsily climbed into bed, giggling as she straddled Rosé’s waist and poked at her cheeks.

“Rosie,” she whined, pouting until Rosé was pulled from sleep, blinking blearily up at her before smiling.

“Hi darling, did you have fun with Mik?”

Grinding her hips slightly, Denali nodded. “Yeah, but I missed you. A whole lot.”

Rosé raised an eyebrow. “How much did you have to drink, angel?”

“I had- I had a few,” she said with a giggle, “I’m only barely tipsy. Mik was way more drunk.”

Resting her hands on Denali’s thighs, she looked up at her. Red cheeks and bleary eyed, Denali looked beautiful, her dimples on full display as she smiled dopily. Rosé had the sudden urge to kiss her, so she wiggled herself up and pulled Denali down to meet her lips in a kiss. Her lips tasted of vodka and cranberry, but Rosé felt more drunk on her.

“Rosie, please touch me,” Denali moaned into her mouth, hands shaking slightly as she contemplated what to do with them.

Rosé hummed. “What do you call me, baby?”

Denali huffed out a breath. “I’m sorry, mommy. Can you please-?”

She nipped at Denali’s neck, a blossoming love bite over her pulse point. “I am touching you, honey. You’re gonna have to be more specific for momma.”

“I want your fingers inside me and your mouth on me,” Denali said in a single breath, chest heaving slightly.

“Ohhh, okay, see, now momma knows exactly what you need. Good girl,” she cooed, moving Denali so easily and flipping their positions so that Denali was on her back.

“Let’s get this off you, princess.”

Rosé pulled the strapless dress down Denali’s body, quickly noticing that’s all she wore.

“Oh darling, did you not wear panties out?”

Denali blushed and shook her head. “I had some on, I took them off when I came inside. I couldn’t wait to get to you, mommy.”

“I see, what other naughty things did you do tonight, honey?”

“Nothing,” Denali replied innocently.

Rosé hummed, kissing down Denali’s neck and chest. “You waking me up to fuck you was pretty naughty, baby. What if momma was really tired?”

Denali felt a loss for words, mouth dry and heart hammering.

“That’s okay though, sweetheart. Mommy’s feeling generous tonight, just relax.”

Denali did just that as Rosé worked her way down her body, peppering kisses across her tummy, down to the apex of her thighs, where she needed her most. She spread Denali’s legs and had her place her legs on her shoulders, Denali’s whines of pleasure working her up while she nipped up her inner thighs, leaving marks behind that would show if she wore shorts.

Finally, she licked up her center, Denali’s back arching as soon as Rosé’s tongue came into contact with her clit. Pillowy lips formed themselves around it, sucking gently in the way she knew had Denali white-knuckle gripping the sheets. To keep her on her upswing in pleasure, Rosé eased a finger into her, and then two.

“Fuck, Rosie,” Denali moaned, lacing her fingers in Rosé’s hair and tugging slightly, which only resulted in Rosé beginning to slowly rub her spot inside her, something she’d never done before.

Just when Denali had thought she knew all of Rosé’s tricks, she surprised her. Denali could feel herself dripping onto the bedsheets, the familiar tightening in her tummy coming on embarrassingly quickly. Like Rosé could tell immediately, she lifted her head, chin shining with Denali’s wetness.

“Cum whenever you need to, angelface.”

As soon as the words left her, she continued her ministrations until Denali was creaming down her chin and yelling out a string of obscenities, thighs quivering around her head.

Rosé wondered if she should keep going, but Denali tugged on her hair and whined, a clear sign she was ready to tap out for the night and cuddle with her momma.

Rosé wiped her chin with the back of her hand and crawled up to meet Denali in a kiss, the younger of the two taking a sharp inhale when she tasted herself on Rosie’s mouth.

“Hi, pretty girl,” Rosé whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Wanna sleep now,” Denali sleepily muttered, whining and tucking herself against Rosé’s chest.

Rosé chuckled. “Okay, sweetie, go to sleep. I love you.”

Denali replied with only a soft breath, knocked out so quickly. Rosé looked down at her endearingly and kissed her forehead, feeling content with her baby girl in her arms.

[kindahoping4forever]

Watch Me Bloom: A Few Hours Ago // Ashton Irwin

Here we are at the final installment! This section was honestly the driving force behind me deciding to write this whole thing - the night of the album release I was so inspired I told a handful of people about both this section and the fic as a whole, without knowing if I would ever follow through on it. I ended up writing it just to see if I could, unsure if I would even end up posting it. I’m glad I did and I hope you are too!

Thank you to everyone who has read and/or given feedback on the first two chapters - it really does mean a lot. Thank you to @ashtonangst for the real time reaction messages that are as equally entertaining as they are helpful. And like basically all of my work, this entire 10k+ monster of self-indulgence wouldn’t have been possible without the guidance, cheerleading and wisdom of @cal-puddies

Warnings: Boyfriend!Ash in fluffy, contemplative (and obviously smutty) situations. Weed smoking, oral sex performed on both a male and a female (perhaps simultaneously oop), unprotected sex within an established relationship

Word Count: 3534

Watch Me Bloom Masterlist

Masterlist // Taglist // Ko-Fi

Let  me  know  what  you  think!

You knew Ashton had been wanting to do something to commemorate the album release but you were still shocked to wake up to the sound of him hauling your suitcase out of the closet.

“Oh good, you’re up!” He giggles. “Think you can be ready to take off for a few days by the time I’m done with my interviews?”

You stare blankly at him for a moment or two and he offers another round of giggles before quickly explaining the arrangements he’d made for a desert retreat to thank everyone who helped him put his album together; he’s talking a mile a minute, describing the Airbnb he’d booked, the safety precautions he’d asked everyone to take, the plans he had for activities once everyone got there.

It’d be a lot to take in even if you hadn’t just woken up but you love when he’s excited like this, so animated and bright, you can practically feel the joy radiating from him. You promise to be ready after lunch and with a quick kiss, he’s rushing downstairs for a Zoom appointment.

The drive to Joshua Tree flies by, the two of you singing, chatting and generally thrilled to get out of town for the first time since lockdown started. Once you arrive at the rental, he practically yanks you out of the car to enthusiastically show you around the expansive property.

After briefly teasing him that of course he chose a getaway destination that offers a ‘hammock circle’ as an amenity, you wrap your arms around his waist and squeeze him tight. “It’s perfect, babe. I’m glad you’re gonna get a chance to unwind after all this, you deserve it.” You tilt up and he pecks your lips. “When do the others get here?” You ask, starting to pull him back towards the house.

Ash grins and pulls on your arm, bringing you back into him. “Friday.” For the second time today, you look at him in utter bafflement. He kisses your knuckles and earnestly explains, “I know I haven’t been very present for you and this whole thing couldn’t have been easy for you to deal with so I thought we could use a couple days together to kind of reset and reconnect.”

“Ash,” you pout, unsure of what to say. You’re overwhelmingly touched and all you can think to do is to throw your arms around his neck and hold him tight. He chuckles and wraps around you as well, the two of you swaying together for a moment.

The next couple hours are spent exploring the grounds, arranging for grocery delivery and unpacking your bags. After a quiet dinner, you follow him out to the patio to relax and enjoy the idyllic desert landscape. He pulls his long hair back into a bun as he settles in on a couch.

You get comfortable, sitting cross-legged next to him, while he unzips his backpack at the foot of the couch and retrieves a glass stash jar, a small grinder and a pack of rolling papers; he turns to you, raising his eyebrows and you nod enthusiastically.

He grabs the acoustic guitar sitting by the couch, flipping it over to lay in his lap as a makeshift table. You realize for a relaxing retreat, he hasn’t really sat still since you arrived and you decide to check in.

“So,” you start, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly. “Couple days from now, people everywhere are gonna get to enjoy all your hard work. Hear everything you poured yourself into. How are you feeling?”

Ashton is focused on grinding the weed and his reply is brief and distracted. "I feel good, I feel ready. Probably the best I’ve felt about a release."

You’re unsatisfied with his easy answer so you press further. “Why’s that? Because there’s less pressure without the label? Or because it all belongs to just you?” You twirl your finger in the curls at the base of his neck, the ones he missed scooping into his bun.

He pauses, contemplating this time. “I mean, all of that feels great but I think I’m really just pleased with it because it was made with pure artistic intent… like, I’m not gonna gain anything from this. I didn’t have to make it but I needed to, you know?” He looks over at you expectantly to see if his point was made.

You nod and smile softly at him. Happy to be understood, he turns back to his task. You watch intently as he sprinkles the weed onto the paper, brow furrowing as he meticulously loads it with just the right amount. You always love watching him work and this was no different.

"I get what you're saying, babe… and I’m happy you’re feeling good about it,” you beam. “I’m so proud of you, Ash.”

He looks over and shoots you a toothy grin. You intended to continue, to keep him talking but you've become distracted by the way his long fingers look as he rolls the newly forming joint back and forth between them. When his tongue darts out to drag across the paper to seal it, you find yourself biting your lip, fascinated.

His voice interrupts your enraptured silence. “We can talk about something else if you want, you’ve been hearing about this non-stop for months now," he laughs, feeling around his pockets for a lighter.

“I like hearing your thoughts on things you’re passionate about,” you shrug, handing him the lighter off the coffee table. "Plus, it’s the reason why we’re here.”

Ash shakes his head as he turns the stick over the lighter's flame. “No, the album is the reason why everyone else is going to be here,” he insists. “The reason we’re here is different.” He lifts the lit joint to his mouth and takes a long drag.

“Right. Reconnecting. Resetting,” you parrot his earlier words breezily, watching the smoke pour from his mouth.

He scowls at your tone of voice. “I’m serious,” he says firmly, passing it to you. “This year has obviously been a lot but you really got the short end of the stick, having to deal with me.”

You look at him, puzzled. “I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about,” you comment, taking a couple hits. “Parts of the year have been good, parts have been shit but the silver lining to it all is that I’ve gotten to spend so much of it with you.”

He reaches over and rubs your thigh. “I invited you to live with me for the lockdown and then barricaded myself in a studio all day everyday. Going to bed by yourself every night, waking up alone, seeing me at meals only if Matt forced me to take a break that day. And you also had to put up with me during the CALM disaster and the tour getting cancelled… it’s been me, me, me. All the time,” he points out.

“Oh, you don’t think I’m used to that by now?” You joke, giggling at his mock-offended gasp. He lightly smacks your thigh in protest and snatches the joint back. “Seriously, babe. I didn’t put up with those things, I went through them with you. It’s hard for me to see you frustrated or upset about situations that can’t be changed. When you’re disappointed, I’m disappointed. So to see you be so excited about something? Your joy brings me joy. I wouldn’t trade that for all the late night cuddles in the world.”

“Baby,” he breathes quietly, pulling you in to rest at his side. You’re both quiet for a few moments, thinking about each other’s words, feeling each other’s presence. “I hope you know how sincerely I mean it when I say I would not have been able to do this without you. This album belongs to you too.”

“Oh yeah?” You look up at him with a twinkle in your eye. “So what’s my percentage, how much of a cut am I getting, Mr. Label Man?” You laugh at your joke, pulling from the joint he’s just handed back to you.

Ashton laughs heartily and scoffs, “Why do you think I started growing my own vegetables? We’re fuckin’ broke now, sweetheart.” He giggles as if it’s the funniest thing he’s ever said.

“Well, you’re broke and out of work, I am currently still employed,” you playfully boast, gesturing with the cigarette for emphasis.

“Ohhh, that’s how it’s gonna be now?” He jabs over and over at your side and you dramatically yelp. “Do I gotta start calling you ‘Daddy’ now?”

You offer him a devilish smile and carefully get on your knees to straddle him. “Do you prefer the term ‘sugar baby’ or ‘kept man’?” You tease, placing the joint in his mouth before he can reply.

He runs his hands over your ass while he puffs away; holding the hit in his mouth, he moves a hand up to guide your face towards his. He presses his lips against yours and you open your mouth, allowing the smoke to transfer from his mouth to yours. You grind in his lap a little and he groans as he watches you tilt your head back and slowly let the smoke trickle out of your mouth.

After a few more shotguns back and forth, Ash quickly sets what’s left in the ashtray on the coffee table and buries his hands in your hair, crashing his lips into yours. You moan as he kisses you with an almost unreal intensity; his tongue feels like it’s melting into yours, his lips have never tasted softer or sweeter. His hands have slipped under the back of your shirt and his fingers are either icy cold or burning hot - you’re undecided but it feels incredible - as they trace tantalizing designs on your skin.

You’re not sure how long you’ve been making out - it could’ve been 10 minutes, it could’ve been 40 - when he states in a gravelly voice, “We need to get you inside and naked for me.”

You reply with a pleased sigh and attach your lips to his jaw, just below his ear; your face bumping against the coolness of his earring both distracts and delights you. You don’t realize you’ve been rocking relentlessly against his growing hardness until he firmly grabs your hips and rasps your name as a stern warning.

He lifts you off his lap and stands up from the couch. You don’t know whether to laugh or moan at the spectacle: eyes glassy from both arousal and blazing, lips swollen from slotting with yours, skin littered with your bitemarks. His hair is pulled halfway out of the bun, his shirt is unbuttoned all the way and the silk pants he’s wearing aren’t even trying to hide the tent that’s formed in them.

He pulls you up from the couch and right back onto his lips; you stand there on the patio for several more minutes, slightly swaying as you devour each other. You can’t remember the last time you felt this hungry for him; smoking together usually gets you both hot but this is next level.

By the time you finally pull away and breathlessly declare, “God, I swear I could fuckin’ cum like this right here,” he's got you down to your bra and panties and you’ve got one hand in his hair and one down his pants.

He nips at your neck a bit longer before separating from you and turning you towards the house. “Bed,” he commands, starting to gather up his things. You continue to linger and he swats at your ass to get you moving.

You set the mood when you get to the bedroom: opening the windows to bring in the cool night air, dimming the lamps, lighting some candles. You know he brought incense but you’re not sure where he unpacked it. Ashton slinks up behind you while you’re digging through a drawer and wraps himself around you.

“Why. Aren’t. You. Naked. Yet.” He complains, leaving wet kisses across your neck. You shiver as his fingers trail down your back before unhooking your bra and pushing it down your arms. You giggle as he tugs your panties down your legs right where you stand.

You step out of the underwear and let the bra fall from your arms, turning to him completely bare. “Your turn,” you lilt, lightly backing him up towards the bed, incense quest long forgotten. You laugh at how quickly he whips off his shirt before he lets himself fall onto his back on the mattress. You crawl next to him and as soon as you’re near enough, his hands are instantly playing with your tits; you take his pants down, licking your lips as his hard cock springs up against his stomach with a satisfying smack.

You stroke it where it lays, using just your thumb and index finger, finding yourself hypnotized as you watch your hand move, hear his breath get heavier, watch the first drops of precum appear at the head. His hand has made its way between your spread knees and he lazily drags his fingers through your folds, occasionally tapping against your clit; he’s barely using any pressure but in this moment, it feels incredible and you rock against him.

After a few minutes of mindlessly playing with each other, he reaches for your arm and gently pulls, wanting you to come closer to him; you lean in and even with his eyes half-closed, you note the fondness swimming in them. He cups your face with his hands and murmurs, “Love you,” just before he presses your lips to his. The noise of your sloppy kisses sounds almost musical to your stoned mind.

Ash moves his hand back to your center as you lean to peck down his chest, relishing the feeling of his skin shivering underneath you as you move down his torso. Again, you leave his cock on his stomach, giving the shaft a few sloppy kisses before taking his balls in your mouth.

“Baby… here,” he breathily directs you, gesturing for you to lay on your side while he turns onto his. He lifts your outer leg and rests his head on your other one; he sets your leg back down on the bed, bent at the knee, effectively creating a triangle of space allowing him access to your pussy. He moves closer and licks a stripe through your wetness to test, the resulting moan from you letting him know he’s spot on with his positioning.

You scoot closer to his crotch, reaching for his cock that’s now facing you, giving it a few strokes before guiding it to your mouth. You’re now deep in your weed and lust fueled haze so it takes you a few moments to wrap your head around giving a blowjob at this angle. The work he’s doing between your legs isn’t doing your concentration any favors so you buy yourself some time and stick your tongue out, tapping his cock on it before kitten licking over the head; you suckle at the tip while your fingers tease his shaft and you moan when you taste precum.

Ashton’s tongue darts in and out of your folds and he thinks to himself he should tell you that you’ve never tasted better but decides not to because he doesn’t want you off his mouth for even a second. He teases the tip of his tongue at your entrance and the way you jerk against him leaves him groaning; the vibration against you feels like tiny electric sparks shooting through your pussy.

You grip his ass, using it for leverage as you start to bob your head up and down on his cock; you move cautiously at first, still trying to navigate the position, but as you continue taking him, you realize how much you’re enjoying the slow pace. You swirl your tongue around him as you move, your heightened state making you appreciate every detail: the weight of him, the details of the veins and ridges on his skin.

You pull off with a pop and rub the tip over your lips before doing the same down his shaft; when you come back up, your tongue’s attention focuses on fluttering around the underside of the head. You feel Ash pull away from you and hear a “Just like that, baby,” muffled against your thigh as you take him down again.

He collects himself and dives back in, promptly sucking your clit between his lips. You whimper around his cock a few times before you have to let him slip out. Your brain tells you that you should let him know you’re getting close but your senses are so overwhelmed, you can’t find the words.

Ash knows your body and even his foggy mind can read the signs that you’re nearly there. He wraps his arm around your hip, trying to steady your unruly movements as he slows his work on your clit, edging you slightly.

You whine his name and even your own ears are surprised by how needy it sounds. You try to resume sucking him but your pleasure center feels like it’s in overdrive and you can’t make yourself focus. You rock your hips against his mouth, breathlessly conceding, “Gotta cum, babe… oh god, Ash, please."

His fingers dig into your thigh as he holds on while you writhe against him; his tongue ramps up on your clit, skillfully fluttering back and forth with voracity. Your legs shake around his head and your breath comes out in labored gasps as you climax; your pre-existing high melts into your orgasmic high and you lose yourself in it, unable to believe how many waves of sensation you’re feeling.

He licks at you until your tremors stop and then he’s carefully untangling himself and turning around so he can lay facing you. Your eyes flutter open when you feel him stroking your hair and you giggle at how adorably sinful he looks: curls askew, goofy yet lusty smile curling at his lips, face damp and shiny from your release.

You give him a soft kiss and then in what feels like one swift motion, you push him onto his back, lay yourself on top of him and slip him inside you. You unhurriedly move yourself on him, chest pressed against his, alternately pecking at or mumbling sweet nothings into his skin.

Ashton pulls you into a deep kiss and hugs you tightly to him, arms wrapping around you. He runs his hands over any skin he can reach, taking advantage of your closeness to create a tactile heaven for himself. He wonders if your pussy has ever felt so tight or warm around him; as if you can read his mind, you clench and he groans loud and long, hands moving to your ass.

His large hands grip your cheeks and you rhythmically rock against him as he lazily fucks up into you. The two of you murmur and moan at each other, neither of you particularly trying to express anything other than the total pleasure you’re feeling. Finally, his noises take on a different, more urgent tone, his hips begin to stutter and he whines your name as he cums inside you.

You lay in silence for what feels like hours but in reality can’t be more than a minute. He kisses the top of your head and carefully moves you to the side of him; he reaches over to the bedside table for some tissues and you watch reverently as he cleans the both of you up.

“I fucking love you,” you dreamily state, unprompted.

He giggles blissfully at your outburst as he settles back on the bed, opting to lay perpendicular, resting his head on your stomach. “Well, I fucking love you,” he beams, closing his eyes as you finger brush his hair. “You know, this is exactly what I pictured when I planned this whole thing.”

“The trip or the album?” You joke, stifling a laugh. “You know you didn’t have to make a whole ass album if you wanted to take me to the desert for a nice stone and bone, you could’ve just asked.”

Ash snorts and sits up to blow a raspberry on your bare skin. “You know what I meant.”

“Yeahhhh, I guess,” you tease. There’s a long silence before you muse, “I feel incredibly lucky to be with you during all this.”

“The trip or the album?” He laughs hard at his quip, crawling up your body once he sees the amused pout on your face. “Aww, baby, I’m the lucky one. Thank you for being here with me. For everything this year, not just the stuff worth celebrating.”

You offer a satisfied hum as he kisses you sweetly. He pulls back and raises an eyebrow to ask, “Have I made up for all those nights you were sleepin’ on the couch yet?”

"God… my back hurts just thinking about it,” you exaggeratedly grumble. He pokes at you and you snuggle into him. "Maybe you should light up the rest of that joint and persuade me a little more."

Ashton looks at you, eyes gleaming with admiration and amusement. "Deal."

————-

Taglist issues again so my apologies if you get notif’d more than once (or not at all)

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[inyoursheets]

Hi,

I love your writing. You’re very talented. I hope you don’t mind me asking. Are you going to continue your GG stories now that the series is cancelled?What’s the next fic you’re going to post to AO3?

ohhh thank you so much, that is so nice to hear! i really love writing and im still so amazed and grateful that there are people who enjoy the result of that. that's so neat

i definitely plan on finishing my WIPs. the plan now is to see by the time i wrap up all the fics im currently working on if i still have interest in writing new ones. that said i dont know if all my WIPs will get finished and shared? i mean i hope i do! but i am kind of a slow writer and ive got about eight different fics im working on right now so we'll see how it goes!

i will definitely finish the fics that are already up on ao3. im gonna finish writing as trouble ought to do even if it's the last thing i do. ive got a good chunk of the last chapter written already and i love that story too much to not finish it. & i do plan on finishing hands, knees, please, tangerine, but that one needs a looot more work

other than that im working on:

a very very very ill-advised follow-up to the instigator that i have no idea if i'll ever finish and am very scared won’t do justice to the instigator itself

a married!brio pwp that's really just the nastiest dirtiest smut ive ever written i guess and i have no idea if ill ever finish

a random lifeguard!rio/aerobics instructor!beth AU that was supposed to be enemies-to-lovers but it's completely getting away from me??

and um. ok so... ever since finishing warm water ive been wanting to write another multi-chapter fic of similar size & ive kind of been planning it but i basically havent written a single word but i want it but it's gotta be big but i write so slowly ill never ever finish it and it'll take me like a year to write just like warm water oh my god what have i done

part of me is also contemplating actually writing this beth/rhea fic?? help

in conclusion hELP ME and also i’ll probably publish the final chapter of as trouble ought to do OR the swimming pool!AU next. when, im not sure. i do want to spend more time writing this week so who knows, might be sooner than i expect

thank you so much for your kind words. im very flattered that you like my writing enough to wanna know what’s ahead!! thank you!!