#oh well. live and learn and take away the experience and use it for something

[neverendingford]

.

[wordsofwhimsy]

did somebody ask which version of mark is puttin it down best?

guess i'll give my analysis 😮‍💨

main!mark is all about pleasing you, sooo he's definitely giving the other boys a run for their money. his oral & finger game? UNMATCHED. he's not dumb and aggressive about it like the majority of the others. he keeps it slow, intentional, so dedicated, living in your pleasure. the more praise you give him the better. his sex game tho takes awhile to come up to par - he's so scared of hurting you for soo long that he just takes it too easy, or doesn't take the lead at all. once he learns the fine art of blowing your back out without killing you tho? 😏

mohawk!mark is soo aggressively fun, but he's really only in it for his own pleasure. he kinda just assumes (rightly so) that you're gonna feel good either way but he never bothers to actually check in with you, see how you're doing lol it's probably also a MUST for you to suck his dick every time, forcing your head down and then mocking you when you gag or gasp for air. he doesn't care to return the favor too often but if you whine too much he will. it's not really that great tho - he's rushing and careless, just trying to move on to the main event

viltrumite!mark takes some teaching. he's of the mindset that sex is just for procreation, and if this is a scenario where he's taken you back to viltrum he's not going to really feel the need to view it any other way. but if he's staying on earth with you? well, sex sells baby and the influence is all around. he starts noticing things in movies and in songs, stuff on the internet--hell even billboards and magazines. don't be fooled his dickin is good even when it's boring missionary but once he starts coming around to trying all the other fun things? oh lawd have mercy

omni!mark is an interesting mix of dominance without aggression, no dirty talk. all business, really but this man IS in the business of pleasure - for you at least. he struggles to let you take the lead though which is kinda boring sometimes, and anything kinky? like spanking or choking? absolutely not. you're not some scallywag hoodlum (LMFAO) and he's definitely not going to treat you like one. buuut if you start talking dirty and cussing? he might be flustered, and maybe even a little more turned on than usual (he'd never admit it)

sinister!mark is all about HIM HIM HIM. but the caveat of this is he needs to know he's GOOD at what he's doing - which means you need to feel good too. he's so unbelievably aggressive and doesn't do missionary. you are not coming away without bruises and marks every single time. i think he likes to make you dance for him too beforehand. that's his idea of foreplay - something that reminds you both who's in charge and who it's all for. you better hope he's not in the mood to go down on you cause that bitch bites 😭

no goggles/lensless!mark is probably my fav 🤭 is literally 100% about whatever it is you're into. i guess except missionary whoops. like he's fine throwing it in there occasionally but not a chance he's opening or ending in that position. in fact switching positions is HIS personal favorite thing. honestly his oral is so-so. he's just too damn talkative and can't focus on the task at hand. he also doesn't take it well either - the man's LOUD. and honeestly busts pretty quick but that's okay! he bounces back quicker. viltrumite stamina is crazy and his libido just adds to it

shiesty!mark has probably fucked more people than all of them combined so, yeah, he's got the practice and experience. he KNOWS his dick is phenomenal and tbh if he's not really into you he's letting you do most of the work. he thinks he's doing YOU favor by letting you ride it. but if you were hard to get? ohhh he's got something to prove now, and trust he will. this man reaches spots none of the others even knows exist, uses his strength in a way that is just chefs kiss - pinning you without hurting you, playing with your nipples and the other sensitive parts with expert care. and probably my fav thing about him is that he's the only one (except maybe main!mark) who ever thinks to put on musiccc

moustache!mark is 😛 father dearest. TOTALLY showing you what it feels like to be owneddd - unquestionably, but not in the way sinister does. he does it with affection. you know, like a 'pet' and all that jazz. he's got this way of making you feel simultaneously small and like the most important person in the world. and when he goes down on youuu? THE TICKLE?? biiitch stop. he also is the one who appreciates the thickies the most ughh like he NEEDS all that ass in his hands, in his lap, on his dick. the love handles? the tummy? give him alllat - trust ☝��� he can handle it

prisoner!mark is an interesting one. if we're talking straight out the pen? he's an ANIMAL. i'm talking y'all are going at it aaall night long, him painfully impatient through every little break you insist he gives you. he's also physically the strongest of them all, and, yeah, it shows. all that body pressed into you? those arms? 🥴 idk how anatomically that would even work but for some reason i feel like he'd have a thicker cock too. he'd be so deep and guttural with his groans, all in your ear with it. no holding back. after some time though i think he'd be focused on you and learning what you like - buuut at the end of the day, he still is the most deprived and wants it ALWAYS

[absolutely-esme]

What do you mean he's not eldritch?

What if all of the members of the Bat Family other than Tim Drake were secretly eldritch abominations?

They all work very hard at pretending to be human, and they've even gotten pretty good at passing. They can even mostly avoid the uncanny valley when in their civilian identities. There was a heck of a learning curve, but they've gotten things figured out for the most part.

Enter: Tim Drake

Weird, poorly socialized, probably autistic Tim Drake

The Bats think they've encountered a fellow eldritch being in disguise, and one that seems like he could use some help blending in. Naturally, they're quick to welcome him into their fold. Jason is delighted to take his turn at being a big brother mentor.

It takes a comedically long time for anyone to realize something's up because there is an absurd amount of overlap between stuff you need to know for masking and stuff you need to know to pass as human.

Meanwhile, Tim is amazed that the Bats have apparently decided he's cool enough to hang out with. It's like something out of his daydreams. They even have good advice for him on problems he hadn't known how to ask about. They are so patient and understanding about it, too. They never get annoyed with him for not already knowing. They also seem to be okay with the bits of weirdness he can't change.

Just weird kid Tim getting bundled into an incredibly helpful and supportive found family of eldritch entities. They're all going to get a good grade in human-ing, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

...

I imagine the Bats are various different kinds of eldritch abominations because they're still adopted. They look wildly different when not in human form.

Bruce is a mass of... shadows? Smoke? Something dark and formless that shifts and flows in different ways depending on his mood.

Dick kind of looks like a pile of owls that is also somehow a single body.

Barbara is a spiral galaxy with stars that are also eyes somehow?

Jason is a solid-looking mass of muscle with six strong legs, a thick coat of shaggy hair, a mouth that opens much further along his body than it seems like it should, and even more teeth than you'd expect a mouth that size to have.

Stephanie Brown is kind of like an incredibly dense storm system with purple glitter.

Cassandra is a silhouette through which undiscovered nebulae can be seen. What she is a silhouette of depends on her mood.

Tim, they have only ever seen in his meticulously well-crafted human form. He's really good at that part even if he needed some help with the behavioral bits.

Damian is half human. Talia saw a mass of living darkness trying really hard to pretend to be a man and decided she was into that.

...

Dick: So, eye contact is actually pretty simple once you have the formula figured out. You need to cycle between looking at the other person and looking at something else at the appropriate frequency. If you look at them too much it will come across as staring. If you look away for too long they'll think you're not paying attention to them. You'll need to experiment to figure out the appropriate frequency.

Tim: *frets*

Jason: You don't have to look straight at their eyes, just in the general direction of their face.

Tim: Oh! I can do that!

...

I think Eldritch Bruce having history with the league of assassins in a markedly less inentional way than Canon would be funny. Like, you'd think an encounter between an eldritch abomination and a cult would be deliberate on someone's part, but no.

Bruce was still young and unskilled at differentiating between normal and abnormal human behavior.

[merakiui]

OK BUUUUT IMAGINE THIS! Darling running away BECAUSE she somehow found out she was pregnant before Mama Leech and her sons found out! Now she’s just trying to get herself and her child as far away from their deranged paternal relatives and the family business as she can. From here so can see things turning out in two different ways. One where somehow she makes it work for a few months but is found or two where she manages to hide for a year or two before both her and her new baby are found. OOOH just imagine what they’ll do when they get their hands on darling.

👀 oooo that’s such a good thought!!!

Consider,,, Georgina kidnapping your baby. Maybe she decides to let you live on your own for a while, just so you can feel like you’re really free and independent with your child. As you wrote, a year or two passes and Georgina decides you’ve had enough time with your little one. She’ll swoop in at night and pluck the baby right from their crib, soundless like a shadow. And what a darling baby they are! She can see where they take after you and where they take after Jade/Floyd. And because she’s such a warm presence the baby isn’t startled in the slightest, happily playing with her finger when she wiggles it playfully in front of them. To think you’d want to keep her grandchild from her… :( but it’s okay. You’ll be home soon.

Once the baby is safely back in the hands of the Leech family, that nursery finally being put to good use, she tells her boys they’re free to pay you a visit now. They’ve done so well being patient, Floyd especially. Now all of that waiting has paid off. Mama Leech doesn’t have any specific rules for her boys to follow. This is part punishment, after all. She does, however, advise them to be gentle. It would do no good if they broke you, especially if they intend to have a big family with you. :) play nice, but not too nice.

Oh, how she hates to subject you to such terror. But this is for the best. Consider it a learning experience. She could do far worse to get back at you for running away and then spending all that time in hiding, but because you’re her precious in-law and she cherishes you something fierce she thinks this is enough.

Soon, you’ll be getting a visit from Jade and Floyd. And then you’ll finally be reunited, brought back home to where you truly belong.

[valm-arcane]

OOC: So I've seen a number of "I wish are drifters could stand up for themselves more" and "why are we playing glorified therapist that's the Tenno's things and we barely have the experience". It's left me feeling the need to throw my opinion into the wilds.

1999 is a direct study in practical for the Drifter. In Duviri, you regain your emotions and learn to regulate them in healthy manner (thus achieving the purpose of the story book.) in the New War you gain the true powers of a Tenno and thought Eternalism get a flash bang lesson on how to use them. AFTER using everything you learned in Duviri to survive Narmers take over.

So how's 1999 a study in practical? Because your putting all three skill sets to the test. The combat you learned, the void powers to use Warframe and focus abilities. And lastly emotional regulation and health. Your using the lessons of Duviri to learn about are care for the Hex. To as Entrati puts it "know them".

This is true for the new Protoframe's as well! Lizzie is giving us a unprecedented level of character for the Helminth and it's views. But! We're also helping it understand Flare and by extension others. With Velimer and Minerva there failing marriage and interpersonal drama is the exact thing cults prey on that allow them to get hooks into folks like Neci. Helping them repair there love also furthers the proof of what Albrecht said. "So that's the poison to you plan Love". If we're gonna have a damned chance of helping the Major getting her parents on the same page needs to happen. As for Kaya, isn't it odvious. Her pain and need to run away is the exact thing that Wally used to goad us into the deal.

And I firmly believe that all of this is leading up to us EMPATHIZING and coming to understand Wally's perspective. Empathy, love and understanding are the weapons to fight the unknown. Because blade and bullet can't kill concepts. The Drifter is not someone we should be saying "oh why can't I stand up for myself more" YOUR DRIFTER IS they lived though a world ruled by emotions, trained to regulate them in the form of actual fucking dragons.

You think Quincy throwing a fearful tantrum, or Velimer's joyfulness isn't something they can see right fucking though?. Give your drifters more credit people.

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

It's the fuck-you-up-music-bracket finals!!!!

Let's find out the true fuck-you-up anthem of tumblr!

Hallelujah (Leonard Cohen)

You say I took the name in vain/I don’t even know the name/But if I did, well, really, what’s it to ya?/There’s a blaze of light in every word/It doesn’t matter which you’ve heard/The holy or the broken hallelujah

Maybe there's a g-d above/but all I ever learned from love/was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you/And even though it all went wrong/ I'll stand before the lord of song

"The swelling instruments and the song’s loneliness paired with the backup vocals on the chorus really get me. Plus the messy and detached relationship with G-d"

"the hopeless! the doubt! the pain!dude's saying that everything might have gone to shit but that won't stop him from presenting himself to GOD THEMSELF, WITHOUT SHAME, bc LIFE IS HARD AND HE LIVED IT ANYWAYYYYYYY"

Fast Car (Tracy Chapman)

You got a fast car, I want a ticket to anywhere/Maybe we make a deal, maybe together we can get somewhere/Any place is better, starting from zero got nothing to lose/Maybe we'll make something, me myself I got nothing to prove

So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car/Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk/City lights lay out before us/ And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder/And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged

You got a fast car/Is it fast enough so we can fly away?/We gotta make a decision/Leave tonight or live and die this way

"I know it's an obvious one but YOU try playing it without crying I dare you"

"I cant explain the yearning but this makes me howl"

"OH GOD the longing!! The yearning in the recurring central image of the narrator and her lover on the highway, feeling this sense of limitless possibility and incredible hope!!! And then the verses take us with brutal efficiency through the collapse of their marriage, the way that the cycle of poverty stomps down on their hopes, and how with nothing left, the narrator does what her mom did and leaves!! Leaving the kids to experience the same thing she did growing up!! But it’s all punctuated and bookended by these callbacks to that central iconic memory of hope!!!!! But by the end we realize that the last line “leave tonight or live and die this way” offers only the illusion of a choice: when the narrator first runs away and later when she leaves her husband and kids, she’s still fulfilling her role in this cyclical generational story. God!!"

[himasgod]

hello!! i saw that requests were still up, and to seize this opportunity... may i request for diasomnia dealing with a merperson s/o? it'll just be interesting seeing them deal with fish... - 🎣 anon

Diasomnia x Mermaid/Merperson!Reader

Headcanons of what a relationship between the Diasomnia boys and a merperson would be like…

Malleus Draconia

For him, having a mermaid partner is something fascinating and unique. He's heard stories about sea creatures, but he never imagined falling in love with one.

He has no problem with the water, but the ocean isn't exactly his favorite habitat. However, for you, he'll learn to swim in the depths without difficulty.

He takes you to explore places on land you may have never seen, like ancient forests and hidden ruins.

If there's an oceanic tradition for engagement, he wants to participate in it.

He finds it adorable when you get excited about seeing rare human objects on land, but he doesn't understand why you're obsessed with forks. (REFERENCE ❗❗)

Lilia tried to explain the reference to him, but he didn't understand.

When you try to teach him how to communicate underwater with songs or ultrasounds, his voice booms so loudly it scares the fish away…

But we all know he sings very well. Thanks, masquerade event 🙏

If you choose to sleep out of the water, he'll use his magic to make sure you're hydrated and comfortable.

Lilia Vanrouge

"Oh, how interesting! It's not every day you meet someone who can breathe underwater~"

He's met merperson in the past, but each one has their own habits. He has a blast discovering yours.

Without warning, he can jump into the water to surprise you. The worst part is that, while it should be difficult for someone his size to move so quickly in the water, Lilia seems to simply defy logic…

He loves to cook for you, but his dishes aren't always suitable for sea dwellers (or anyone, really).

The first time you tried his food, you were sick for two days. Still, he remains convinced that "maybe this time it will taste good."

Sometimes he uses his magic to turn things around: if you have a tail, he'll give you legs for a day, and if he has legs, he sometimes puts on an artificial tail to swim with you.

He finds it very amusing to watch others deal with the problems of him dating someone who lives in the water. Especially Sebek.

"Did you know that mermaids used to seduce sailors in ancient times to sink their ships? I wonder if that's what you did to me~"

He's just joking, but who knows…

Silver

At first, he wasn't sure how the relationship would work, since his world and yours were so different. But that doesn't stop him from wanting to be with you.

If you sleep in the water, Silver will try to stay on the shore to keep an eye on you…

Bro fell asleep on the sand

Sometimes he wakes up in the water because the waves have swept him away. More than once, you've had to pull him out before he floats too far out.

He prefers to swim in lakes or rivers with you rather than in the open ocean. Partly because he doesn't want to lose sight of you, and partly because the salt water gets in his eyes MY POOR BOY 😭😭

He wants to learn to understand the mermaid language, but it's complicated. He hears you sing underwater and sometimes tries to imitate it, though he's not very good at it.

If you teach him how to breathe underwater with the help of a spell, he'll feel strange at first, but he'll love the experience.

Gentle underwater caresses and hugs. Since he moves slower than you in the water, you use him as a floating pillow when you need to rest <3

Sebek Zigvolt

"A MERMAID?! HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THE YOUNG MASTER HAVE A FRIENDSHIP WITH A MERMAID?!"

He doesn't really have anything against you personally… but he's having a hard time accepting it. You have a different culture and different customs, and that baffles him.

So he started watching you every way he could to make sure you didn't do anything strange with Malleus.

It takes a while to get used to it, but he eventually accepts it and becomes a very protective companion.

Bro ended up falling in love with you 💖💖

He doesn't like swimming. Or rather, he doesn't like to admit he's not very good at it. He tries really hard to keep up with you in the water, but sometimes he feels more like a dog splashing around I LOVE HIM

"I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP! I CAN SWIM PERFECTLY WELL!"

Meanwhile malleus magically floating him so he doesn't sink

He gets very excited when he learns about merperson traditions and the importance of music and song. He may not admit it at first, but he enjoys it when you sing to him ❤️‍🩹

"IF A MERPERSON IS GOING TO BE MY BELOVED, THEN I'LL GET STRONGER TO PROTECT THE SEA!"

Suddenly, he has a new personal workout: holding his breath as long as possible to patrol the water with you…

but ends up passing out.

I love him sm please protect him

[darryscrow]

My skrunkly darry from that one au I never ended up writing.... time to yap about it under the cut..

Darrel and Maggie sell their first born child, they were 17 and 16, no way in hell they could take care of kids, neither had the money and they'd been thrown out of their homes when their parents found out Maggie was pregnant. The couple got a bit of money for the kid they gave up, and never asked any questions.

(they feared what happened to him. What did they do? they sold their child. surely people must understand.. but they told no one. Said it was a miscarriage.)

All the baby stuff they had bought (not much. couldn't afford much. most are gifts) came in useful at 21 and 20 when they got their first (second.) child !! sodapop

(Darry was sold to the government, how im thinking of it is like. stranger things lab, Invincible government lab, the lab in deadpool movie and the serum for captain america)

Then Darry at 17 is thrown away by the government that had been using him to test (superhuman serum? maybe like captain America? didn't work (WHAT THEY THINK)( and he's just like a normally strong guy for his age from his workouts.)

but yeah, he gets placed in a home (curtis home). He learned how to live among the other people and what it was like to have family. He joined school as a sophomore and heard talks of university, and he knew he wanted to go and pursue something there so he could learn more about the world he had been shut away from for so long. He's a bit immature, from his general lack of experience, but keeps on a poker face at all times.

The gang thinks he's weird.. especially Dallas and Steve. Sodapop and Ponyboy stick up for Darry, who they've been told is a cousin, and maybe Two-bit does too? They all try and help him out though. Even if he's odd.

He becomes a football star during his time in school but doesn't have the money for university, which he doesn't mind. he's a bit impatient but works away with his newly found father away on rooftops. He always did last longer working on those roofs, Darrel said it was because he was young.

Then maybe his powers activate because he saves Pony or even Soda from getting jumped? he's like, "Oh god, wtf it actually worked??" and yanks his brother away to go home.

What follows is him accidently breaking stuff at 19 everywhere he goes, a hole in a roof once too, where he was utterly embarrassed for days. Like a puppy .... big paw....s... I always love thinking about this image and Darry.

he slowly gets the hang of his super strength by janurary

he broke the truck brakes the day prior to his birthday and hadn't had time to fix it.

he's only reminded of it as the red and blue sirens illuminate the living room and the cops deliever the bad news.

he killed his parents.

He destroyed the world for his brothers.

Did they even consider him a brother?

Well, now he has to play their father.

[wisteriaiswriting]

𝔻ℙ𝕊 𝔻𝕒𝕥𝕖 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤

Type of date | Location | Are they romantic? | How much money will they spend | What happens after | Blurb

Words: 3161

Due to Ashe being, well Ashe. You’d think she wouldn’t do dates or much romance, but surprisingly yes! Much preferring calmer and simple dates.

Has set up your private room at her base, [Whether you live there or just visit] so she’ll set up in there.

She has very little experience, but with you she tries, and often succeeds. Flirts a lot, but you get all her real attention.

During her Deadlock days she’s gathered a pretty penny, and she’s willing to spend plenty of that on you. Even if you deny her, it won’t stop her.

Absolutely adores when you cuddle up to her, holding you back and closer. All the while making sure both of you are comfortable before falling asleep herself.

***

Ashe’s day was rough, and returning to you made the world around her seen non existant. Able to fall into your arms and the many, many blankets. Tugging you closer into her arms as she got under them.

Quickly enough she noticed your breathing evening out, looking just in time to see your eyes shut. Only able to chuckle at that, she just arrived and you were already out like a light.

Leaning down to leave a gentle kiss on your forehead, pulling away, and in the dim lighting was barely able to see the mark she left. Her thumb brushed over it as she thought.

It didn’t take long for her to do it again. And again.

If he’s being honest here, he had and still does, no clue what to do. But likely he found something, and that was heading out for a drink and maybe some food.

Mostly takes you to some bars and a few pubs when hungry.

He tries, and comes off real smooth yet kinda awkward. (He hasn’t done this in a while.)

Has very little to his, nothing legally. So he won’t spend much of the little he still has, but he will steal anything for you. (Be the distraction, please.)

Still awkward, but now he’s calmed down a bit. He’ll walk you to your residence before asking for a second date.

***

“C’mon now darlin’, don’t let this old dog down.” There he went again. You weren’t sure what would happen if he had a few drinks, but definitely not a flirty drunk. But luckily enough he stuck with you no matter what.

Also meaning you were subjected to all his flirting.

“Cassidy, again, you brought me here.”

“Did I? I mean why wouldn’t I, a catch like you with me, obviously.”

She’ll adapt to what you enjoy, but if she was given the choice it would be a movie.

While she would prefer staying at home or base, wanting your time together to be, well together. Although she wouldn’t be against the movie theatre.

Has no experience. But throughout your time together and even before, she’s always learning, especially what you prefer.

It’s likely Winston finds out and gives her the money. Using that on snacks and tickets if needed. Otherwise most of it is spent on you.

Will walk you to your room before leaving, finding Winston or Mercy to talk about it.

***

“Echo!” Turning around to find Winston making his way closer, one hand was closed, holding something likely for her.

“Oh Winston!”

“I was informed about the date, and was able to gather these.” He dropped the things into her open ones, revealing plenty of money. Especially more than enough in notes to pay for anything needed.

“Thank you, I’m sure Y/N will also appreciate the help.” With that she floated off, on her way to your room. Now she had this, all she needed to do was confirm with you.

He’ll drag you to a nearby arcade. But if you’re up in Japan he’ll bring you to one he frequented as a child / teen.

Either place will be loud, bright and flashy. Unless you become uncomfortable with anything he’ll actually enough the kids.

Hasn’t really lost his spark, but due to his death and scarring he might need some help.

Has a bit more than needed, so he’s paying for the whole night. Please don’t try to argue with him.

Afterwards he’ll take you out for food, your choice.

***

Compared to the cold winds outside Genji’s metal hand felt warm, likely from your own heat. Never changing or letting go when you entered the arcade, only pulling you around the place.

And you’d think someone who fights for his life almost every day would be able to win at a basic claw machine, right?

Well you’d be wrong. You watched as he failed time after time before almost giving up, before he finally caught one. It was small and simple but he beamed at you while holding it towards you.

It was a cute [Favourite animal] that held a heart, and there were plenty of other animals inside. Once he realized, now not focused on yours, he was determined to have a matching one.

He’ll much prefer something calming but able to be sentimental, like painting together.

Depending on the activity you’ll either stay home or go to a private studio for the time.

Has very little experience, he tries by giving you gifts. (Please let him know it works.)

He will spend plenty of money on the tools and wood, willing to get anything for the date and you.

You’ll be walked back to your house / room, and when he gets back to his own he’ll place all your gifts onto their dedicated shelf.

***

The day was spent just silently hanging out together. He sat across from you doing his own thing, which used a few tools. All had been brought in a small bag. While you continued doing your own hobby.

About an hour goes by before he moves from his spot. Turning around to gain your attention, using his empty hand to open your own. As he did his face became red and he looked away slightly.

Only looking back to place the item in your open palm. Which turned out to be a small wooden bow that he just carved. But before you could pull your hand away he also placed a few more things next to the bow.

Revealing them to be smaller, also carved arrows. Each one had either your names or your initials engraved.

This man would be the death of you.

He’ll drag you into his workshop, whether you join him or watch he doesn’t mind.

As a criminal he can’t go very far, so you’ll stay in his workshop.

He fully believes he’s romantic, tries but ultimately fails. Has no clue what he is actually doing.

Jamison has almost none, but he can’t use it anyways.

Being secretive the whole time pays off, even if he almost blew it many times. Showing off his project while beaming.

***

For the first few hours you willingly stayed with Jamison in his workshop. But after a while it was clear he wasn’t going to let you see, so without him noticing you left. The rest of your time was spent sitting outside the room while you heard him working away.

Before you knew it he had left the room, almost rushing past you. Luckily turning around in time.

“Oi, why’d you leave?”

“Takin’ to long Jami.”

“Well don’t do that…” He started pouting while reaching into his pocket, pulling out a small box. Placing it into your hands.

“Go on, open it!” Which you would, except there was no way to. Spinning it around until you heard a ‘click.’ The lid opened revealing a small heart rising and spinning, made of scraps and crappily coloured in different shades of red.

“So?”

“I love it Jami.” Leaning over to give him a quick kiss.

She focuses on getting to know you rather than an activity or certain place, wanting you to do the same.

You’ll spend that with each other and away from the others, likely at her place or a nearby yet kinda private park.

Due to, you know, being frozen for years, she doesn’t have much experience, even before that but she tries.

The most she spends is on any food and drinks, but is willing to spend more if needed.

Not much, but she won't let you go until you accept the snacks she made for you.

***

It had been hours since you arrived at Mei’s place, and it was finally time to leave. But it was clear she didn’t want you to leave yet, though she wouldn’t stop you. Surely you have plenty of things to be doing.

As she watched you walk off she suddenly remembered her gifts, the cookies!

“Y/N, wait!” And you did, letting you grab what she needed before rushing out. In her hands were a container, only able to see when she got closer. It was full of cookies.

“I made these earlier, almost forgot.” She giggled as she spoke, flushing red.

“Thank you.”

She much prefers simple and calmer date ideas. Turns out building Legos is a good idea, one she should’ve done earlier.

She’ll have you both sitting in the living room, making sure you’re both comfortable as possible. With enough lightning and the tv as background noise.

Work has always gotten in the way of any romance she’s ever tried, so the only things she knows are from asking Ana. But she still tries, even if they cause her to flush red.

Is absolutely willing to spend plenty on different sets. She makes sure you can finish any set you want.

Helping you find the best placement for them. When you leave she takes pictures and sends them to Ana, fully prepared for any teasing from her.

***

When you entered the first thing you saw was another Lego set, it was from the botanical collection. Specifically the Orchids. All built and setting in a [favourite colour] vase. Footsteps pulling you from the scene.

In the doorway stood Fareeha, frozen while her face quickly became red.

“I can explain,” Stepping forwards as she spoke, taking your hands into her own. “I am aware we built some yesterday, but I saw these and they reminded me of you.”

Everyone assumes it’s a meeting, unaware (Except for Sombra) of what is really happening. Just you two spending quality time in silence doing your favourite activities.

He’ll have it set up in a private meeting room further down from the others, or invites you to his room.

Has plenty of experience (Had a wife) so he has learnt his love languages, being acts of service and quality time, although only with you.

Doesn’t need to spend any of his money but will buy anything you want or need for your hobby.

He’s a knitter, so before he leaves he’ll hand you the item he made. Please find him later for thank you cuddles, he will melt, literally.

***

A hand dropped onto your shoulder, if you weren’t a Talon agent it would’ve taken you down. But the metal claws gave away who they belonged to.

“Meeting room 6.” Smoke covered the area as he left, not wanting to stay around longer than necessary. Listening, you also left the area, everyone quickly became quiet.

The room's lights were off, the only light being a lamp behind him and the curtains pulled slightly open. Across the table sat Gabriel, gauntlets removed and thrown next to the yarn.

He was part way through knitting something, a stack of already finished squares. Just next to them sat the items for [activity], seemingly ready for you to start. And start you did, both of you sitting in silence for the next few hours.

She’ll spend a few hours setting up the perfect movie night, snacks, blankets and a selection of movies or shows.

All this will be set up in your shared bedroom so neither of you will have to walk far for any reason.

She’s aware she’s trying to be romantic, just unsure if it’s succeeding. (It has been for a while.)

The only money she’ll need to spend is on the snacks, buying all your favourites.

Likely one of you two will fall asleep during your bingeing, with the other following soon after.

***

You were both on your 3rd movie after finishing a while 4 seasons of an old yet interesting tv show. But by now your eyes started to hurt from all the lights, and your eyelids were starting to shut.

You knew you couldn’t prevent yourself from falling asleep, especially when you were so comfortable. Vivian had set up everything, so she was aware this would happen and was prepared.

She let you lean onto her, wrapping her own arms around you. And when your eyes finally shut, breathing evened out she leaned over and gave you a quick and gentle kiss. Finally following shut, letting the movie play as background noise.

He enjoys simpler date ideas, the chosen one being a walk in the park. Managing to find a quiet and pretty empty day.

While the majority of your time is spent in the park, he’ll take you to a nearby food place. Ice cream or anything else you might crave.

He doesn’t have as much experience as he lets on due to work, he knows what to do. Just a little awkward about it.

For the chosen dates he won’t need much but is willing to splurge a little during so.

If it’s late enough he’ll take you out to lunch or dinner.

***

The air gained a slight chill whenever it passed you, causing Jack to lend you his jacket, sticking close even then. Without realizing the end of the trail arrived, letting both of you stand outside the park.

He looks up before down at his watch, looking for the time. Apparently it wasn’t late enough to finish just yet, so he invited you out for lunch.

“How about lunch, I’ll pay?”

Of course you accepted, free lunch and time spent with Jack. A win-win situation.

She tries as much as possible to keep you away from Talon, so she takes you to a concert of your choice.

The stadium is large and unsurprisingly loud, but she makes sure you feel comfortable during all of this.

Is much more flirty rather than romantic, but can be romantic if either of you feel like it.

There’s no need for money when she has everything at her fingertips, although if you really want to she will.

She’ll ‘book’ you two a shared hotel room, putting off returning to Talon. Also wanting to spend time with you.

***

“Ángel~” Her voice would’ve shocked you if she didn’t already blind you with her hands over your eyes. “I have a present for you, and I know you’ll love it!”

The air became cold but only in parts around you. Although she didn’t move it seemed everything else had. The once silent air changed, people talking, walking, even cars were driving.

Her hands were removed revealing the new location. It was a stadium, but not for their normal sports game. Banners and posters showed your favourite band/singer, as they were playing here, today!

And Olivia brought you here, you needed to thank her somehow.

***

Ángel - Angel

She plans everything for a fancy dinner date, willing to compromise for something just as fancy but smaller for your comfort.

As long as the place is fancy to a certain degree and has food you both eat she’s willing to have a date there.

Her romantic won’t be noticeable to others, if so won’t be taken as romance. But she prefers acts of kindness, helping you with work and grabbing you things.

While she’s willing to spend a lot on you and your hobbies she does have a limit, although it is pretty high.

Afterwards she’ll have someone drive you both to your place, making sure you’re able to get inside before asking for a second date.

***

As the car slowed to a stop her hand lifted off yours, holding it during the ride. You knew not to open the door, quickly finding out her habit of opening it for you. Only doing it for you though, but neither of you would change that.

When the door was opened she reached for your hand, gently helping you out. Again, her hand didn’t let go of yours until you stepped inside.

“I hope you enjoyed tonight, as I want to ask for another.”

Of course you agreed.

She’ll take you to the movie theater to watch a movie of your choice.

Will go to the theater but also enjoys having home movie nights.

Often enough she’s interrupted by giggling, but she can and has been romantic.

She lets you see the amount, being enough for popcorn, drinks and the tickets.  Before surprising you by buying you both some candy.

On the way home she’ll be ranting about the movie whether it was good or bad. When you both get home she’ll continue on while making sure you’re listening, that’s by trapping you in a cuddle session.

***

“C’mon Love!” Her hand had slipped and was holding onto your wrist instead, but she didn’t let go. The line was surprisingly short, only being a family and a few teenagers so you got to the counter quickly.

“What do you wanna watch?” A quick glance at the options revealed a few good ones, except one stood out.

“How about [Movie]?”

“Yeah, two tickets for [Movie] please!” She continued ordering, getting popcorn and drinks. At first you thought she wasn’t going to get candy, only after she ordered everything else did she get some. Both of you getting cups to choose your candy.

“C’mon then, can’t miss any scenes!”

As she is a known criminal she won’t be able to take you very far, but will go stargazing with you.

The chosen hill is far enough from the Talon base but still safe enough, especially when with her.

She tries to be romantic, won't ever be the best due to her transformation but she tries for you.

For any date there won’t be any need for money.

If you’re not part of Talon she’ll make sure you get home safe, if so then she’ll walk you to your room.

***

The air has grown cold, but never becomes freezing. Staying at a comfortable kind of cold, the kind Amélie had grown used to over the years so it didn’t bother her. Yet it affected you, you shivered slightly as if trying to hide it from her.

You should know better by now, when it comes to you she won’t miss a single detail. Wrapping her arms around you, pulling you closer. When you shivered ceased she let you return to watching the stars.

And instead of doing the same her eyes never left your figure. To her you seemed to shine brighter than those stars.

[onyourhyuck]

Animal Instinct. | NCT SERIES

Title: CHAPTER 1 ‘The Untamed.’

— Prologue: “When the sun sets meet me at my apartment, if you dare.”

— Summary: You are a marine biologist. You should be able to understand animals and their way of living. When you encounter a new society in a bar under the name ‘Sour Grapes’ you find yourself in a troubling situation with seven different men. Seven different animals.

— Genre: Smut with plot. Minors dni. Fantasy with modern timeline. Female!reader. Secondary genders (but with animals) dreamies are complete red flags. Dub-con. Everything is very dark romance related. Nothing here is for the weak. Everything is just pure filth. It gets progressively worse and worse. Multiple orgasms. Overstimulation. Pet names such as ‘my pretty whore’ or ‘princess’ — minor hair pulling, Fingering (female receiving). Creampie, cumming inside / no protection please use a condom.

— Notes: I APOLOGISE FOR TAKING SO LONG. BUT HERE IT IS. MORE FREQUENT UPDATES COMING UP.

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One thing you love about yourself is that your work basically shapes your entire routine. You love walking inside your laboratory seeing the animals in the tanks you have to take care of and examine. This included various important research that no one should know. It is highly top secret. A simple leak of what you collect samples from the sea or other animal biology from biomes and journals you keep could really be a mess for you.

Working on separating the two and three sides of the samples you have listed from the deep oceans all throughout different sights. You felt a hand approaching behind you quickly.

The man taps your shoulders when you’re so busy working with the test tubes. “Hey Y/n mind giving me—” you jump and turn around with a fright.

“Seriously Johnny! I told you not to sneak up on me like this. Especially when I’m working with these highly reactive test tubes.” You scowled at your coworker, Johnny Suh. He was one of your friends and coworkers. Wearing a white cloak and round black glasses on.

He was a handsome fella. Very charming and handsome you have to admit it. Johnny can be professional but he could also be quite a mood maker in such a serious profession.

Laughing at your unusual behaviour, you’re never this jumpy when you are working but he probably assumes he scared you to death. “What got you so anxious Y/n? You never get scared when i do this.” Johnny raised an eyebrow. He swore he could see your own soul leave your body.

Truth be honest ever since that night with Ningning all you are thinking about how your entire life has been a lie. Sour Grape’s has taken your mind over. No. Mark has taken your entire mind off and away from your daily routines. Everyday you’re thinking about ‘How can this be possible?’ Humans coming from other animals and not just monkeys. It’s insane information. You shouldn’t be believing this but when Jaehyun said it’s a secret; it makes you think there must be some truth to it.

No one on earth would make up such a stupid fairytale on the spot.

If you weren’t a marine biologist with side degrees of zoology you’re just the type of person to not let this slide. You want to learn more.

You want to experience the truth. You want to see if it’s the truth if they actually are who they are setting themselves to be.

Letting out soft mumbles as you close off the testing tubes, afterwards putting the collective tubes in the stirring device. “I haven’t slept well for the past few days. Sorry if i seem like I’m on the edge.”

He gave you a soft smirk leaning on the side of the table while watching you. “Oh honey you seem like you’re more than on the edge. You’re off the edge.” Your eyes make eye contact after you were done with your tasks.

Your friend trails now questioning you as you’re looking at him with a soft look that made your thoughts even worse.

“What’s on your mind, Y/n?” Johnny asked with a small smile. You shake your head, you don’t want to share something so crazy. He might think you’re actually insane, or worse, he might even think you lost your entire marbles.

“Nothing serious, John. Let’s just finish up and go home. I’m tired.” You excused yourself from the conversation to finish up. The only thing you want to do today is figure out what to eat for dinner.

Walking down the street to your favourite food truck, you decided to take your mind off whatever you were thinking for the past week or so.

You felt like your brain was just constantly going back to the same topic and it was draining truth be honest. What better way to distract yourself than to eat your favourite stir fry noddles?

Being a local customer the food truck owner gives you discounts nowadays because you were a customer for a long time. A regular at that.

“Hey I would like the usual.” You gave a smile at the owner who nodded seemingly being happy to seeing you drop by.

“I was beginning to think you’d never return, Y/n.” Said the truck owner and you gave a little smirk. “How could I not return? You make the best noodles.” Complimenting them they blushed and started making the noodles for you.

But then something flashed behind you at a fast pace. You didn’t even realise it until the figure stood overshadowed by their body remaining still as a statue.

Gawking at the menu on the side. Your eyes widen when you turned around with disbelief flashing over your lips and cheeks.

“Young man what would you like?” The owner interrupts your own lingering thoughts of shock. The voice, the sound of his breathing, everything else made you feel so small and in danger just by the presence alone of this man.

He looks back from the menu. “The original stir fry m’am.”

You did not realise you were literally staring Mark down in this moment until his face turned over to you and you quickly looked away biting your bottom lip, staring at your very own feet on the ground. You can’t believe it that Mark and you crossed paths when all you’ve been saying is how you’re going to distract yourself finally!

What was this coincidence? Fate? Destiny?

There was this expression on his face that falters when he finally acknowledges your existence. It’s like he met you before but he was trying to find out from where.

And then it hits him. You were the one with Jaehyun that one night.

The dark tone of voice strikes you like a knife behind your back if anything. “You’re that girl at the bar that one time.” Mark said to you, turning to look at you fully with his entire body now facing you.

You definitely caught the predator’s attention now with how easy you’re to read. God you hate being so readable like an open book — a very non interesting book at that.

You fake a smile, maybe if you just pretend you don’t know him he will give up speaking to you. “Oh no, I don’t attend bars. I’m… allergic to alcohol.” You cringe deep inside when you made up the most stupid excuse.

Really? Allergy? He didn’t even ask about your allergies.

Mark frowns which lead you to believe he wasn’t completely swayed by your own actions right now. You forget how much of animal instincts he must have by now. You can’t fool a tiger easily.

“You must’ve mixed me up with someone else.” You said quietly trying to make it seem more and more believable if you just keep talking.

Thankfully you were praying for your meal to arrive first beforehand he got his. The prayer was answered when you grab your plastic container smiling and thanking them. You literally dashed away but why try to run away?

Trying to out run one of the most dangerous cats you probably made the worst mistake to even show a hint of speed in your movements.

When you were to reach your destination to your car the same black towering figure stands over you. In front of you with a dark gaze.

You let out a mini gasp to be honest, you feel like your heart is being crushed by two large walls that keep on moving forward and forward until your heart and lungs collapse.

Mark sighs. “You know that I can hear your beating heart when you lie?” He said rather amused but also it was eerily like a reminiscing threat thrown at you. You stand there quivering, trembling even, and it made Mark so much more entertained than he thought he would be.

He took a step forward. The stir fry plastic box was shaking in very discreet manner in your hands. Each step he takes you took three steps backwards.

This was a new cat and mouse game you didn’t want to be playing with him at all.

“Y/n was it? Jaehyun mentioned you.” Mark said with a little more confidence now that he actually had you cornered. Now you cannot lie on the spot and try to run away from him.

It’s ridiculous. He looks and was human but in reality he’s not just entirely human is he? He’s a freaking tiger with probably the most define genetics. It’s crazy to you.

You mumble trying to get away still. There was just this instinct inside you to make excuses until you can’t anymore. “Sorry i have to go, i am extremely busy.”

Your heartbeat picked up again, Mark sighs pressing an arm around your body and now moved you to sit down at a bench in the scene. You flinch and he forced you to sit down in front of him with his dark eyes watching you. “Another lie. You must enjoy lying a lot don’t you?”

You look away. You’re watching anything but him. “What do you want from me? I swear I don’t… I don’t know anything.” You’re trying your best to make this situation just deescalate.

He grinned amused. “Well that’s also a lie.” He said sitting down next to you on the bench as your heart was racing incredibly fast. Mark thought you might die on the spot if you keep stressing yourself out.

You took a little breath when he sat down next to you which seemed a little less nerve wrecking.

Eventually your heart calmed down when the silence overtook you both. Mark makes a quick glance over at you again, and he continues to speak when he waited for your nerves to sort themselves out.

You sigh. “I didn’t know you liked this place.” You tried to make a conversation as well but you weren’t sure how well he will respond to it.

Heck you don’t know this guy at all.

“I like it. I’m a regular here.” Mark said with a smirk and he moves a bit closer to you now, he opens up his plastic box of stir fry and starts to eat it with the plastic fork you’d get at a restaurant or other food trucks.

You saw him eating and you slowly shift to open your stir fry. But to be honest you’re too scared to even eat in front of him. You’re trying to act normal though. So you take a piece and ate slowly your own food along with Mark. The man kept watching you even though he ate. But you’re avoiding to even acknowledge him so much.

“Y/n do i scare you?” He was quite blunt and upfront. You flinched when he mentions the exact words you’re feeling.

You awkwardly chuckle and put down the fork. “Is it that obvious?”

Mark scoffs a bit. “You didn’t try to hide it.” He leans away and ate some more, you felt a bit less scared and now more guilty. Now that you think about it he seems like a normal guy now.

“Sorry. What Jaehyun said to me that night at the bar messed with my brain.” You admit it, which made the man next to you smirk. “You know I’m human as well. But I do admit it was fun seeing you trembling.” There was a sense of eeriness in his words but at the same time you were watching him.

He admitted to you that watching you embarrass yourself in front of him was a thrilling show but you decided to just not respond to it.

You didn’t even know what to say back anyways.

“So… are you actually…” your voice trails off unable to think of how to say this. How do you even phrase this?

Mark saw your expression like it was the most readable thing he has ever laid eyes on. He leans forward putting the plastic box down. “Part Tiger?” He spoke those words right out of your throat. You bite your inner cheek nodding.

“Is it true?” You asked with your eyes widen.

He grinned and stands up, putting hands in the front jean pockets he then turns around to you rather amused by your curiosity.

Has no one ever told you that curiosity killed the cat? You’re like a small, tiny cat who can’t keep their nose out of something that wasn’t their business.

It felt rather authentic for you though. Most people are just nosey but you seem to be curious because you want to discover something new.

And that is exactly what Mark likes about you. Your intentions are something he hasn’t seen before. Leaning forward he writes something on the paper and passed it to you, with the same hand you saw the large metal ring with the tiger engraved on it. Grabbing the piece of paper you look cautiously from the paper towards Mark’s dark gaze.

“When the sun sets meet me at my apartment, if you dare.” He said to you simply.

Just like a tiger he caught you by surprise with how sharp his tone of voice was full of silky seriousness. And then he disappeared into thin air as well. You only looked away for a second just for Mark to be gone in front of you.

Leaving you questioning if you should take the bait and go to his apartment even though that sounds like some kind of messed up plan.

For once you were dreading the sun setting. Getting out of your car you look back at the paper in your hand and then your eyes fall back on the complex building in the front.

The address that brought you to this place makes you both anxious and excited. You have many running thoughts on your journey going inside. Every single muscle contraction meant you were growing close and closer to danger.

Slipping your hand over the doorknob you didn’t even knock, the door opened up with the man revealing in front of you.

Mark heard you from a mile away. He knew you’d come and he was right when you stood in front of him with a stunned look.

You really do make him feel like he’s hunting you down.

“Come on in Y/n, I don’t bite.” Mark smirked seeing your hesitation as your eyes peek inside the apartment before your whole body walks in. Mark closed the door after you fully enter.

There was a lack of trust between you two but for some you are wanting to trust this man. You don’t know why but you know one thing for sure; he has bland furniture. All neutral colours and very modern in his apartment.

You tread carefully and put your purse bag down on the couch nearby as you stand in middle of his apartment. Your gaze follows where Mark was on the wall leaning one side of his shoulders on it, the muscular arms crossed together and the lower body curved towards the right side.

Breathing hitching you feel it becoming a round ball in your throat. “So Mark will you admit that what I know is true?”

You came for the truth only. But to Mark he wanted more from you than just to give you a simple truth. He wanted to take a taste of something much better than any truth could provide him or to you.

The body slips off the wall approaching you slowly while his gaze was rather intense and playful while watching you.

“I don’t think I can prove anything verbally to you.” Mark whispers gaining a closer look at your face and the natural scent of your body blending in with the morning coffee you drank as well as your floral perfume; creating this intoxicating sensation in the nasal passages. Mark could crawl to you just by the smell of your own skin.

Hands slowly moving to your waist pulling you closer by an inch your feet trotting forward in little steps towards his body. “But I can show you how a tiger has it’s fun?” He smirks brushing the hot breath escaping from his mouth down to your neckline, while his large eyes are watching you keenly to see your reaction for approval.

Goosebumps evoked on your skin when the tiniest touch of his fingers kneading on your waist bringing you closer to him made you fall into this trance; a trap in other words you’re not escaping a primal animal’s desire at all.

He lifts his head only a little, waiting for your lips to give him consent or a sign of any sorts. But you seemed to stunned and even timid.

The reasoning of you coming to his apartment wasn’t to sleep with him. But the idea of sleeping with someone as magnetic and attractive as him clouds your judgemental. You’re a smart woman you know that and even Mark knows it; you know your stuff. But you certainly look tempted by the invitation.

The only thing you could think about was how badly you want to kiss his lips in that moment. Swiftly you press your hands up to his jawline and pull him in with a sudden kiss when your decision was made finally. Your sudden lips and the taste of them lingering in the air stunned the tiger but you soon felt his hands clawing at your hips lifting you up with his arm muscles — bringing forward your body against a nearby wall as your mouths clashed like two boulders in action. Fighting for something you would like to say is survival; survival of the fittest.

Grunting at the smallest thing, Mark enjoyed hearing them a lot, even the clawing he did down your back and to cup your round ass made you grind up against his body in a friction. Your reactions were what made Mark’s instincts going up the roof. The inner animal was raging from just how much you do this to him. You look ethereal and vulnerable.

Your tongues are tied like a knot together constantly trying to go back and forth only to end up pushing and pulsing instead. Your hair was a mess from just the heated makeout with the man who did not show you a signal mercy.

Running your hands through his hair was probably the most difficult thing for him. Mark’s sensitive area was always his hair and head in general.

You wonder if it’s because tigers in general have sensitive ears; in fact all cats have that trait. It just made your mind run free whenever your fingers cross over his hair. He always lets out soft noises between the heavy parting kisses with your red feverous mouth.

Deciding that the wall won’t be enough for him or for you in that matter. Mark lifted you again this time turning only a small swift left to the bedroom the door opens enough to keep you in and throw you on top of his bed. Watching your body sink on the mattress wasn’t as satisfying as your arms pulling him on top with your lips connecting again for another passionate kiss.

Your voice sounds like music to his ears, Mark could never get tired of hearing your own heart racing and pounding against your chest either. It might be his favourite sound afterall this time.

“Fuck — Mark, hold on.” You adjust yourself on the bed when his hands slipped over your shirt unbuttoned it down along with your lowering clothing slipping it to your ankles. Mark did not know a single vocabulary word about slowing down. He was an animal. Animals don’t wait they just do whatever they want. Whenever it suits them. Your words were pointless to Mark.

He gave you a look when your hands press on his biceps. You needed a moment to calm your heart otherwise you would feel like this whole moment will not be savoured enough.

Leaning in he gave you a gentle peck instead on your lips. Mark tried to slow down to your liking. Holding himself back was hard when you look like this in your underwear and bra only. With your skin on skin contact too.

“Please.” You whisper. “You really don’t hold back.” You chuckled a little bit. Mark grinned softly at your reaction.

Humming he slowly took off his shirt. “Didn’t Jaehyun already tell you?” He sighs and your gaze looks up at Mark when he mentioned another name. “I don’t settle down for anyone.” Mark mumbles connecting back to your close body again when the shirt fell down on the bedroom floor.

He doesn’t settle for anyone so there is no reason for Mark to slow down for anyone. Mark goes fast for everyone and everything.

Your eyes are glued together as one. Your heart skips a beat when Mark was simply staring at you but it felt like he was chasing you across the jungle if anything.

Seeing your stare he had a feeling you might be thinking about your second options. Mark pressed forward to you.

“You still have the option to leave sweetheart, because I won’t give you this choice afterwards anymore.” He slants his fingers down your forearms and your eyes lift up staring into his own deadly irises.

You breathily sigh. “No I don’t want to leave.” You tell him with a determined look and you press your lips on the side of his neck kissing down to his defined collarbones.

Mark chuckled at your amusing response. You don’t want to run away yet you’re the one who told him to slow down?

“Alright. Don’t blame me for what’s about to happen next.” Mark’s voice was dark and low, everything that had been attracting you to him all along. You couldn’t wait until Mark kissed you again, you’re craving for more and more.

You don’t even know what you’re craving; is it the dangerous thrill? Or is it the fact that there was this biological element that keeps your hormones growing more complex.

Whatever it was your thoughts shatter down like a glass on the ground shredded to pieces creating a map of what you’d call your scattering thoughts. The heat forming underneath the pawing motions of the hands threading your body like a needle, grabbing your perky breasts. Hearing out your grasps and manhandling you into the mattress to a position of what his desires are. You’re nothing more than a rag doll. In this scenario you didn’t know what else to think. You were caving for more.

Escaping grasps when the rough grain fingers rub down to your revealing womanhood. His yellow-ish sharp eyes glow by the excessive amount of excitement. Your insides were much mild to his fingers. But they manage to heat your insides up so much faster. When he pumps them up and down your eyes were trying to squeeze shut.

Mark didn’t want to look away from your precious eyes when he was pumping his fingers inside your pussy walls. He wanted to watch you cry out. To him if you weren’t shouting to the top of your lungs then he did not do a good job. And Mark values his ego and pride of pleasuring women he takes to bed. You need to have a good time, your pleasure means so much more than his own.

And that’s the type of man Mark is. He focuses on you as much as he can. There was a sense of addiction towards you. Mark loved smelling your increasing scent on his bedsheets that you’re sprawled across looking like a desperate prey begging for mercy, but deep down you want so much more. With those aching teary eyes Mark knew you were close to a climax.

But did his hands stop? No. Mark didn’t care if you’re close to cumming. Mark will make you cum thrice if he wants too.

By the next few minutes you’re not sure what’s happened but your mind was fogging out between the lines. The bed sheets were leaking by your juices and Mark’s hand and your pussy were only an inch away from one another. His fingers were so deeply embedded inside of you it’s causing your voice to come out like a strain meld.

“Oh fuck… fuck… Mark I think I came already.” You said the obvious not knowing that was his intention all along. To make you release so much you’re starting to lose train of consciousness.

The tiger smirks fondly by your answer. Mark stretching your pussy out so much just so you can be able to fit him later on.

Pulling out his fingers out of your hole he licks them across his plum lips while gaze on your eyes. There was not much space between you two; your breathes are touching.

“You taste so sweet, Y/n.” Mark deems it. Pulling apart the boxers fell on the bedroom floor and he pulled your ankles down so your legs are spread round the hips.

You’re gawking at the sight of his thick glory shown towards your face. You’re not sure what else to say because your expression said it all.

Mark sultry chuckles watching you was seriously amusing. You don’t try to hide your expression with your widen little eyes. “What is it? Did i leave you speechless already?”

Though it sounds cocky. Which it probably was. Mark had a good reasoning to sound like a complete womanising douche.

He was thick. Thicker than anything you’ve seen before. You’re unsure what to say but you cannot argue with him either. He did leave you speechless. It was embarrassing for you.

Mark took your token of silence so he leans his face closer to give you a peck on your lips. He whispers down to your shoulders aligning his face with it. In a way this was to comfort you.

“Don’t worry Y/n. We aren’t finished just yet.” Breathily into your skin Mark buried the nose on the collarbone as the shape of Mark enters your pussy walls this time it was stretched with a slight burning angle that caused your whole body to tremble by itself. Holding on to the bedsheets underneath your body you feel like you’re floating by how just the tip touching at your velvety skin you’re reacting so much to it. This wasn’t usual. You’ve not experienced something like that before.

It’s nothing like the previous times you’ve slept with a guy before. It’s nothing like that.

In this case it feels like you’re fighting for your life but at the same time you’re submitting to yourself knowing Mark was the powerful one here. The one in charge of the moment. The variable that will never change is Mark. In a sick twisted way you like this. You like becoming the prey. The way you’re underneath Mark as he is thrusting you like a wild in-domestic beast, it’s what you’ve been craving all this time. The thrill of it.

For once you’ve forgotten all about biology. You’ve became it instead. Maybe you’re starting to finally understand how it feels to be stepped on by someone stronger than you. For once in your life that is.

Mark couldn’t get enough of you however. It’s the way your dark hair is floating like strands of ribbons on his bed sheets that smell of you now. He knew that once you are finished it is mostly likely to return to normal life. You’ll probably never hear from him. Or he might never hear from you on that matter — but those bed sheets will have your lingering smell and he doesn’t think he will change them for a while. You’re addictive. Strangely Mark has never been this compatible before with just anyone.

It’s crazy how a simple “come to my apartment” leads to you actually having sex later on. But you didn’t care how easy it seemed. You were enjoying it far too much to worry about the consequences. Mark was far too lost between the creeks of your neckline and the collarbones, his thinly pressed tongue sucks across your beautiful canvas. Your moans are starting to resemble poetry to his ears. As if you were all he wants to listen to on hours end.

The tiger felt every inch of your insides clenching with awe around his shape. It was the way you wrap around so easily. Your arms do the same thing. They wrap around his body and cling onto him forever. Mark wouldn’t have it any other way.

Your eyes only part ajar like a door does only to see yellowish sparkles of phenomenal beauty spreading across the bedroom. Widening at the sight you felt like you’re hallucinating. But when you’ve looked at the man above you thrusting you seen exactly a pair of two golden Iris’ staring down at you with nothing behind those eyes but lust.

It felt as if every muscle in his body extended to his original position when Mark grunts the bottom lip pierced to his fangs. “Oh yes, keeping looking at me like that. Such a pretty whore you are.”

Cheeks grows out in awe when Mark brushed over his fingers into your hair only to press you even more into the mattress digging his clock so deep in your insides you’ve lost knowledge of how far you could last. By now it’s been far too long. Your body’s overdrive is now overheating like a computer would — yet Mark shows no sign of slowing.

Even the way his voice stood still like the sea breeze. You’re at a loss of words.

Pulling at your hair slightly Mark decided to make you sit up a little so he could rearrange the speed of his thrusts to become quicker and sharper. Which only made you gasp audibly loud when you’re held in this position for so long. Your brain begins to fog once again.

Mark groans besides your shoulders, carving his teeth marks all over your body. You’re starting to look like a butchered meat eaten alive by him.

His eyes shift close. “Fuck… that’s it… now take it all Y/n.” You’re starting to see some slowing down when Mark unleashed the folds between your pussy walls. You’re starting to give up the moment Mark leaves you to the brim; looking full and plum like he wanted you in the state.

Eutrophic state of being overdriven by an animal, was all you’re able to process.

Breathing heavily into your skin you’re closing your eyes only a little, but everytime you do that you wanted to drift off to sleep. Eventually you’re wondering if you are asleep because all you see is black with a faded out voice I’m the background calling your name all over again.

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By the morning you’re awaken by your own fine reflection of how much your body actually endured last night.

Your lips part away staring at the front. Teeth marks scattering from top to bottom. You look like a whole different person compared to when you stepped a foot into this apartment.

Your eyes dart around the bedroom putting on your clothes that were left on the floor. You had to make yourself presentable at least once in your life because right now — you feel and look completely out of place. Brushing your hands into your hair messily brushing it out any knots. Then you open the bedroom door and step out. You’re met with a smell of eggs frying in a pan.

Following the scent you’re now approaching the shoulders of a man. Short sleeve tight shirt on flexing out muscles while wearing an apron. You’re filled with some form of happiness when you see that food is being cooked.

You mumble with a groaning stomach already. “Morning. What are you cooking?”

The man turned around with a little smirk seeing you’re already dressed and awake. Mark was expecting you to be knocked out a little longer. At first he thought you died on him last night. You’ve suddenly out of nowhere blanked out. But it turns out you were due in need of much sleep.

Mark pressed the eggs out of the pan and onto the plates. Your eyes following where his muscular arms extend out the plate towards you. You took a seat down on the chair by the kitchen aisle counter. He pressed a smile.

“Eggs and some toast. It’s the best I can do.” Mark announces.

You smiled and grabbed a fork. “It’s fine I’d eat anything anyone makes me.” You wish you could’ve shut your mouth when you said that though, because you maybe held your expectations high for Mark. He cannot cook eggs for the love of God.

The smile drops on your face instantly and you clear your voice a little when you’re sending a gaze back at Mark. You take a bite of the half burnt — nearly black at the bottom scrambled eggs. How do you burn eggs? You’ve got no possible human explanation for this sorcery.

For someone who is made to be a perfect stone with no hard edges; Mark can’t cook.

You might of found Mark’s first flaw.

You trail off mumbling. “Maybe I should cook next time?” Nonetheless you eat it all without a complaint. But you had to jokingly point o it out to Mark. You’re an honest woman. You couldn’t lie to him. It might feed his delusional ego.

Mark scoffs a little and chuckles at the end. “Good idea, Y/n. I can handle the other eggs.” You nearly choked on your chewing. But before you could say anything to him he was walking out of the kitchen area with that giddy smirk on his face as if he’s proud for saying something as outrageous as that.

“I’ll be in the shower!” Mark announces without a care that you’re probably as red as an apple.

You shake your head in disbelief and trail off a little laugh. You have a feeling this might weirdly be the most calming morning you’ve had. You go back to eating your scrambled egg wondering what else you will expect…

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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank you!! Reblog and Follow me for more smuts like this!!

[sixosix]

FOR YOU I WOULD FALL FROM GRACE | LYNEY

warnings blackmailing lol… AETHER PAIMON!!! 3.6k words!

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The bell chimes as the door of the flower shop swings open, and in comes strutting in Rosalie, all dazzling smiles and ostentatious jewelry. Even now, her brown locks are curled to perfection, framing her face beautifully. Even across her, you feel like you’re standing next to an Archon.

This time around, you don’t accidentally freeze the pot of flowers you’re holding from her bursting inside. But you might again tomorrow; Rosalie loves to test you.

Rosalie hums in approval. “Hm, very good, very good. Any customers today, ma chérie?”

“Just one. That guy really wanted to see you,” you reply, eyes fluttering shut as the woman ruffles your hair. You repress the urge to lean into it. “Was he the same guy you met in Café Lutece?”

Her face twists unpleasantly, haunted. “Oh, dear. Thank goodness I wasn’t here. Keep scaring him off.”

You bow your head. “Yes, Ma’am.”

Rosalie bent the law just to keep you, and you’re more than grateful for her generosity. In exchange, you pledged to work diligently for her. You knew that even your hardest efforts couldn't compare to the years of food and shelter she had provided, but this was the least you could do after she didn’t once hesitate to take you in when you confessed you were stranded and alone.

At first, you wanted to repay her by helping out in the kitchen, but you later find that your Vision isn’t the most perfect fit for it. Rosalie’s teeth could shatter from the amount of bread you’ve frozen at the slightest mistake. Your experience in battle doesn’t translate well in handling baking—the heat makes your actions rougher than intended. You get frustrated when you don’t get the results you want. You treat the kitchen like a battlefield. Your hands are too cold; they can’t handle the warm and hot temperatures well.

And the sight of fire… You don’t react to it nicely.

Rosalie suggested you help out in the flower shop. The thought of kneeling over for hours sounds like torture to the posture and grace you’ve perfected over the years, but you can’t quite be picky with under-the-table jobs and nice people who are willing to take care of an orphan who doesn’t know how to act like a normal child.

At least, with gardening, you’ve trained yourself to be more gentle with how you handle living beings. Your hands will always be calloused; they will always have the muscle memory of carrying weighty weapons and tossing them around like sticks—an immutable trait. But you’re trying.

Although Fontaine could never be the safest, it’s safer here. The Fatui don’t have reason to spy against a local flower shop; you’re away from prying eyes, and it isn’t too big of a change because this is still your home.

And you have been safe for years. Rosalie is nothing like The Knave. They have the same fierce protectiveness, but Rosalie is much warmer and open with her fondness, a stark difference from The Knave’s distance. You’re not quite sure how to act around either of them.

You try not to get yourself attached to Rosalie despite her endless hospitality. So long as you don’t reveal your past affiliations and the reason why your hands are rough and why your affections are clumsy, she wouldn’t throw you out. But if she ever does… those are what no attachments are for. You learned your lesson from last time.

“I’ll cook us dinner,” Rosalie sings, heading towards the back of the counter, where it’s connected to her house.

You return to your flower.

You were the one who planted it, and it pleases you to no end that it’s growing healthily. This is the first flower you managed to not— well, kill right off the bat. Or freeze right off the bat, really. The elemental power from your Vision is hard to control, and it certainly doesn’t help that you aren’t doing anything to do something about it, too afraid to even try.

The Lumidouce Bell. It means something about a desire to return. It speaks to you, but not because you long for it—gods no—but because you’ve seen it before. It was probably in a dream, or perhaps a vase back at home, maybe in the middle of the large dining table or in between the fingers of someone with lilac eyes.

The door lashes out once again, the familiar chime ringing in your ears. It had only been two hours since the last customer. Business is doing well today. In comes a floating pixie and a blond with a glow of gold. He’s furious.

“Paimon doesn’t know…” the pixie says, floating behind. “All she knows is that you don’t want to get involved with the Fatui but—” Your hands falter around the petals, “—they said their goals were different, right? What are we doing here again?”

“Paimon,” the blond sighs, and only then do you notice he’s holding a flower. It’s crushed and dried, but it’s supposed to resemble the pot of Lumidouce Bell by your side. “We can’t trust them just like that. We don’t know them.”

“Really…? You think so? Paimon doesn’t think they’re bad people.”

“They’re hiding a lot of things. I don’t want secrets—not anymore. Lyney and Lynette may seem harmless now, but once the time comes where our goals oppose each other’s—well.”

It’s been a while since you heard those names. A rush of nostalgia fills you. You hear about them in passing when your (rare) customers gush about their performances, or ladies passing by giggle about the charming young man in the center of the stage, but that’s about it. To think that these two know that they’re affiliated with the Fatui…

Who are they? They look so familiar, like you’ve seen them once and then never again. Were they sent here? What did they do to be involved with the Fatui? No ordinary person would casually indulge in a conversation about the Fatui like that. There is usually a lot more secretive whispers and cautious glances around the crowd.

“Paimon gets it now,” she says, but she doesn’t look too happy with it. It seems she’s really fond of the twins—which you know all too well.

“Besides,” Aether pats her head, then hands her the flower, wondering out loud, “We don’t even know what this flower means.”

As if following a poorly-written script, both pairs of eyes direct to yours. Like they were expecting you to listen in just for that. At your stunned silence, they wait patiently.

“Um—yes. Lumidouce Bells often mean separation or the wish for reunion,” you recite like a good florist, recalling the words straight from the textbook. “Would you like a copy of a book about Fontaine’s Floral Language, sir?”

He waves a dismissive hand. “No thanks. Was just curious.”

The pixie nods her head, studying the flower in her hand. “Yeah! For all we know, this could’ve been some secret code! Apparently not. But wish for reunion…? Paimon heard Lyney only uses that flower. Does he know about its meaning?”

That name again. It seems that their main topic this afternoon is the twins. You want to crawl out of your skin and bury yourself in the soil. You thought you had moved on, but just hearing about him feels as if listening to strangers talk about a friend you’ve lost—not too far off from the truth. The guilt has not left you since; who were you kidding?

“He probably doesn’t mean anything by it,” the boy murmurs. “I mean—I don’t know. I don’t know anything about them. Is Lyney truly a magician? Is Lyney even his name?”

“Snezhevich,” you murmur out of instinct. Son of snow. You’re surprised that you even remember; it’s been years since you tasted the word on your tongue.

The blond hair and the floating pixie are staring right at you, the man slamming an arm on the counter desk and the little one moving her hands to her hips. “How do you know that?” he asks.

You pale. “I—excuse me?”

“I heard it,” he says. “Those surnames… They’re for the orphans in the House. How do you know that?”

Your heart pounds. You want to ask him the same question, but then, upon closer inspection, you realize why they’re familiar. They’re the Traveler and his travel companion, posted all over magazines. You’ve used one of those papers as placemats for dirty work involving soil, catching glimpses of their faces. The Outlander, the hero, Aether, having come all the way from Mondstadt—of course he knows about the Fatui; he has probably gotten himself involved more than you have.

“Don’t think about lying,” Aether warns at your silence.

Weakly, you say, “Is—is it not… in their introductions?”

“No.” And, well, honestly, that was a stupid cover, so you should’ve expected that. They’re only for the orphans, and he’s right. Even when he’s not a local, he seems to know his facts. Locals are getting smarter, dammit.

“Lyney told me,” is what you decide on after a split-second of contemplation. Aether isn’t giving you enough time to come up with a lie here.

“Told you?” Aether narrows his eyes, studying your face. “Why would he tell you about that? He hasn’t even told me. Are you two close?”

Paimon gasps before you can comment about how Aether sounded like an insecure boyfriend. “Is it…like that?”

You blink at her, lost. “What? Like what?”

At Aether’s conspiratorial expression, your eyes dart between the two of them warily. “What are you two on about?”

“Are you and Lyney romantically involved?”

Romantically involved. You think back to all those sidelong glances and allusive remarks. Lyney was definitely and monumentally involved in your life, but romantically? Even the word feels forbidden. Not once have you thought about romance throughout your entire experience as a child under the protection of the House.

Your face feels like lava, and their crowded attention has you feeling even more embarrassed. “How could you even come up with that? Mortifying! You’re both wrong!”

“What else would it be? You seem to know him well.” Then, much to your embarrassment, Aether adds, “And you’re not bad-looking.”

Is the Outlander calling you pretty enough for Lyney to date you? Right now? Just thinking about the implications has your mind screeching to a halt. “No! I was an orphan there!”

“Ah,” Aether grins widely, “I knew it.”

“Gods,” you mutter, burning. Of course he already figured it out. But was that really necessary? “Is this how you interrogate everyone? Embarrassing them to death?”

Aether shrugs. “If it works, it works.” At whatever expression you must be making, he adds, “And I was just kidding about the romantically involved thing. I mean, unless you aren’t denying it. By the look on your face—”

“Enough. Just spit it out. What do you want?” You’ve gotten awfully rusty with dealing with people. Then again, you were rarely sent out on missions in the first place, so this blame is not for you to take. You curse out The Knave’s name and then feel terrible about it.

“What are you even doing here, huh? Undercover?” Paimon sneers. She fails to look even slightly intimidating. “Do you own this shop?”

“No. I work here.”

“Does your boss know about the whole Fatui thing?” Aether asks. You stare at him warily. If he dares to harm Rosalie, you won’t hesitate to fight dirty. “That seems like a no. If you cooperate with me, I won’t tell whoever is taking care of you.”

“You’re blackmailing me.” You laugh dryly. “I guess I can never run from my past for too long; I just didn’t think I’d be blackmailed by the Outlander himself to face it.”

Aether has at least the decency to look a bit guilty.

“Why do you want to know about the twins so bad?”

Aether’s shoulders hike up to his ears just a little. “Lyney and Lynette… they’re very dependent on each other, aren’t they? The Fatui are not good people—they’re powerful ones, too, and getting involved with power like that while you have your family,” Aether’s expression does something complicated, “It never ends well.”

“You’re blackmailing me into helping the twins out?”

“I’m not trying to— Listen, I just need to know if they’re hiding something else from me. Something that tells me that I shouldn’t be trusting them, then we’ll decide if I’m helping them out or not.”

…Something else? “They already told you a lot, haven’t they? You just have trust issues, hero.”

“It’s perfectly reasonable to have trust issues as a hero.”

Aether inches closer. Your hand twitches by your side, instincts screaming at you to pull out your weapon and flee; the man before you is danger, but you don’t.

Aether hums at your wariness. “And you talk like you know them well. Do you have something you want to say to me, retired Fatuus?”

“I told you, didn’t I? I used to be an orphan in the House of the Hearth,” you say, not wavering with how he holds your gaze. This is no lie; you have no reason to falter. “But that’s not my life anymore. For all I know, they’ve completely changed goals.”

Aether’s shoulder sags because he knows you’re right. There wouldn’t be a way for you to know if the House is still operating with the same objective. If he’d really believe the words of a former Fatuus is a completely different story, however.

Aether sighs. “…It’s not right to call me a hero in this situation.”

“Oh?”

“I’m doing this for selfish reasons.”

Aether hesitates. Does he think you know nothing about selfishness? You ran from the House that took care of you because of your cowardice. You’re plenty familiar with selfishness.

“Mhm,” Paimon nods, “the Traveler wants to know if they’re hiding something about his sister.”

“Paimon,” Aether admonishes, then wilts.

“Oh no!” The fairy’s face pales, her hands coming up to her mouth. “Was Paimon not supposed to say it right away?”

“It’s fine.” It’s not fine. You can see it in the lines between Aether’s brows, his tense shoulders, and his sharp glare to the floor. “You already blurted it anyway.”

“Your sister,” you repeat, conjuring an image of a girl with the same gold as Aether, the same hardheaded determination. What is it with you and getting into trouble with brothers? “I’ve never heard anything about your sister during my time there.”

Aether shrugs. “That doesn’t surprise me. I only arrived here not too long ago, and from what I’m getting, you were already out of the orphanage.”

“So you think Lyney knows something?”

“I know The Knave knows something.”

How strange. Aether’s certainty that their ‘Father’ would confide in them everything, imply that Lyney is privy to information that only the Harbingers would keep to themselves.

You had this same thought before: Lyney, someday Harbinger, someday who would take Arlecchino’s throne. Now, you feel empty thinking about it. It used to fill you with so much rage before.

You turn away from Aether so he won’t see your face. Your previous affiliation with the House shouldn’t matter anymore—you’ve long since abandoned that life. You shouldn’t care about what the upstanding hero would want with them.

You shouldn’t.

Yet you end up fearing what this Outlander will do if they find out the darker secrets of the House that the orphans have to task themselves with. It’s never the children’s fault. But as a hero in a storybook, they rarely have pity for the bad guys.

If Aether finds out anything remotely wrong, what would he do to them…?

You sigh heavily. “I’ll prove to you that you’re wrong about whatever you think of them.”

Aether smiles. “That’s all I needed to hear.”

Rosalie comes out of the counter’s back door a few moments later, holding two plates of dinner. She stares blankly at your frozen figure and Aether’s slack posture.

She hands you the plates. “I’ll get two more.”

Rosalie disappears back into the kitchen, a bright smile on her face as she leaves the scene. There was a skip in her step, too.

You settle the plates down in front of Aether and Paimon. “Would you like to stay for dinner?”

Paimon gasps in delight.

When Rosalie comes back out, she’s fluttering all over the place, gushing over how adorable your new friends are. She then goes into a tangent about how she was right in telling you that you have a charming personality, and it was about time people realized that.

“Rosalie,” you murmur, steaming from the ears.

Rosalie laughs heartily. “Oh, you’re so cute. Do you kids have any plans tonight?”

Aether casts you a glance. “We’re going to watch Lyney the Magician’s show tonight if that’s alright.”

You breathe in deeply. Aether sure works fast. You haven’t even prepared yourself for the little chance you were going to be forced to face Lyney again. You expected it on much more personal, grudge-driven circumstances, with Lyney taking you in for The Knave to deal with.

Rosalie sips from her glass, turning to you. “Why didn’t you tell me you wanted to watch it, mon ange? I also would have taken you to watch Mr. Lyney.”

“They came over to give me their spare ticket,” you say before she can start thinking deeply about Lyney, but it doesn’t work.

“Ah, I see! Well, have fun.” She grins. “I’ve heard only good things about Mr. Lyney.”

You down the rest of your drink, wishing it was the strong taste of alcohol instead of the sugary sweet Fonta.

Rosalie gasps, hands on the table as she stands. “Oh! Let’s get you changed for tonight’s show! What if Mr. Lyney’s show picks you as a chosen participant? You have to make him and the audience fall in love with you, Y/N!”

“None of those are necessary,” you say, nearing a whine. It’s embarrassing to have her say that while Aether and Paimon are right in front.

“This is the first time you’re going out—let me please dress you up!” Sometimes, Rosalie acts more like a big sister than a mother.

Rosalie turns to Aether, already pushing you out of your chair. “Give us ten.”

Aether is smiling, looking as if holding in laughter. “Don’t worry. We aren’t going anywhere; we made a deal.”

After rummaging through closets and spilling dresses all over Rosalie’s bed, you're soon ushered out of the door. You witness Paimon's jaw dropping and Aether's eyebrows shooting up to his hairline.

“Whoa…!” Paimon gasps.

“Please spare me from any more comments,” you say, face hot.

Your dress, while nothing as grand as the rest of richer Fontaine women, is still grander than your loose blouse from before. It flows all the way down and drapes gracefully down your legs in a deep shade that blends in seamlessly with those who walk past the busy streets of Fontaine.

Thankfully, they oblige. You can’t handle any more—too much have you a puddle on the spot, and in the most humiliating way possible. Rosalie bids you all farewell, telling Aether to bring you back home before ten.

“I don’t think you can be home before ten,” Aether mutters as he leads you outside.

You hide behind his figure, uneasy from the curious stares of the passersby. It could be because you’re walking next to the renowned Traveler, but a part of you thinks that they know who you are. For all you know, there could be wanted posters of your face, and you wouldn’t know because you don’t go outside.

Aether turns to you. “Can you move comfortably?”

“This corset is a little too tight.”

Aether takes your hand and leads you somewhere off to the side, away from any onlookers. Then, he moves behind you and helps with loosening the corset. You look off to the side and swear that you saw a figure dash past, as nimble as a cat, but that was probably nothing.

“Should we rip off the length, too?” Paimon asks.

“No!” you exclaim, startling the two. “No, it’s fine. This is not my dress. Are you going to make me fight Lyney?”

Aether shrugs. “If worse comes to worse.”

“I’m in heels.”

“If worse comes to worse,” Aether repeats, tying the ends in a neat little ribbon.

“I wasn’t aware that you would start blackmailing me this early on.”

Aether smiles grimly. “There are no warnings when it comes to that.”

You perform a twirl in the new adjustments, twisting around, finding it much more breathable than compared to when Rosalie treated it like her usual fitting.

“Good?” Aether asks.

“Good.”

The conversation doesn’t die down, but it’s much more stiff than before. Paimon tells you that she liked your muddy apron better, and you wish you could agree. But this is who you really are. Nothing genuine like the soil staining your washed-out apron and your hands, or the Lumidouce Bell by the counter you’ve watched grow, but a dress that doesn’t belong to you for a mission that you have to fulfill to save other people who wouldn’t even recognize what you’ve done.

The Opera Epiclese, though you’d never been, looks the same as all the stories you’ve heard about it. Filled with a lively audience, the atmosphere dimmed, and your breath held in anticipation as Aether led you to vacant seats. You sit on Paimon’s supposed seat.

You face Aether. “What now? What do you want me to do? Strut back into their lives and demand all their Fatui secrets as if I never left?” you whisper hastily as all the lights flicker off.

A spotlight centers on the stage.

Aether nestles into his seat. “Prove to me that I can trust them just as much as you do. Who knows, you might get something out of this, too.”

BEFORE YOU STOP READING!! LOOK AT ONCE AGAIN ANOTHER AMAZING FANART BY OUR FAVORITE akagi0021

scene of paimon's "whoa...!" and aether demanding "how do you know that?" !!!!!! 😭😭😭❤️❤️

sorry if my inherent attraction to aether came out a bit for some scenes here. the heart can’t help but want what it wants… and that includes what my fingers end up typing whenever aether is on the same docs LOL

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[missmalyari]

Our Stories, In Each Other's Hands

Dan Heng didn't realize that Stelle would evolve from being the mysterious new Astral Express member to someone he couldn't bear to lose.

AO3 LINK

Dan Heng found the newest member of the Astral Express rather intriguing. Stelle was quiet at first, adjusting to her new role as a Nameless. In a way, she was adjusting to existing. Like March 7th, Stelle did not have any memory of her past. Yet, it didn’t take long for her to become comfortable.

The Astral Express became even more lively. Dan Heng was used to the sound of March and Stelle bickering over something inconsequential. He’d always hear laughter or yelling coming from March’s room whenever Stelle paid her a visit. Stelle started to play games with Welt, and has somehow survived Himeko’s coffee multiple times. Pom-Pom also became fond of Stelle due to her eagerness to help out around the Express.

The woman was an intriguing character. She was kind and helpful, but also extremely brash. Impulsive. It was as if she wanted to try everything no matter the risk to wellbeing.

Dan Heng didn’t make it easy for her, but Stelle slowly chipped at his walls too.

She asked him many questions, intrigued by his work on the data bank, and his experience with the Express. It took him a while to get used to her visits. March didn’t find the information interesting. Himeko and Welt trusted his recordings and only checked if they needed something specific. Despite Stelle’s unpredictable nature, she showed great interest in the data he gathered.

On one of her visits she brought him a stack of articles from Jarilo-VI, and laid them all across his desk. He raised an eyebrow to her.

“What’s this?”

Stelle looked at him, a wide grin across her face.

“Consider it a donation! For the data bank.” Dan Heng hummed a response and shifted through the papers. He recognized immediately that it was a detailed account of key points in Belobog’s history. Technology, important figures, artworks, the list went on and on.

“This is impressive Stelle, where’d you get this from?”

“Oh,” Stelle said, “I’m surprised you didn’t hear, but I was curating Belobog’s History and Culture Museum.”

Dan Heng stared at her for a moment.

“How did that happen?” he asked.

Stelle recapped her meeting with Pela and how she got roped into becoming the manager of the museum. She told stories of how she tracked down artists, thieves, helped conduct interviews, and restored technology.

Dan Heng realized he was foolish for not asking her what she did while she was away.

“You should come visit,” Stelle said as she closed out her story, “I know you’d enjoy it. Plus, we’ve worked super hard to make it look nice.”

“Despite all our travels I rarely get to visit museums, so I may take you up on that.”

Her smile seemed to grow even wider.

“I’d love that, just let me know,” she said, “but, don’t slack on reading those, I copied those specifically for you.”

Dan Heng tilted his head at her.

“Well museums don’t go into all the details, that’s what those papers are for. It’s notes I took while doing research for the exhibits, I’m not sure if they’re legible or organized but I tried my best.”

He took a closer look at the notes below him and realized quickly that the papers were a mix of typed notes and hand written. Stelle wrote in the margins information she learned, doodles on the maps of where things were, relationships between historical figures. It wasn’t the cleanest method of recording information but it was legible and detailed.

“You didn’t have to Stelle,” he said, a little embarrassed that someone went through this effort for him.

Stelle shrugged.

“The work was already done anyway, if I knew I was going to hand these off to you I would’ve done a nicer job. It’s not a big deal. I know you like this kind of stuff.”

Dan Heng knew that Stelle was a generous person. She constantly gave her time and energy to people, but it felt different being on the receiving end.

“I really appreciate it,” he said, “if you don’t mind could you stay a little longer? I want to ask you more questions on all of this.”

“Of course!”

This wasn’t the first visit into his cabin and it wouldn’t be the last. After a while he began to recognize the sound of her steps, the rhythm of her knocks. As much as he tried to ignore it, her visits became something he looked forward to.

-

The events at the Xianzhou Luofu exhausted Dan Heng. The ships beauty was unparalled, but the events with Jing Yuan and Blade brought up horrendous memories of his past life. Dan Heng thought he could fool himself into escaping Dan Feng’s sins. That his time spent in the Shackling Prison would have been enough, but he should have known you could never truly run from yourself.

Dan Heng would never be Dan Feng, but he would do something good in his place.

As he laid on the floor of his cabin, he tried to think of all the data he gathered and how to categorize everything. Phantilya was an exhausting battle, but sleep did not come easy to him even while trying to distract his thoughts.

Familiar footsteps echoed through the hall and Dan Heng listened in closely. They stopped in front of his doorway with a pause before tentatively knocking. He could tell Stelle was nervous, she never hesitated. It would be easy to deny her. To tell her that he was tired, she’d understand. But seeing her always made him feel lighter.

He rose up from his futon and told her to come in.

She entered in slowly and observed him.

“Hey.” Stelle said.

“Hello.” He greeted her in return.

An awkward silence weighed the room before she blurted out.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

Stelle walked closer to him and chewed on her bottom lip.

“When you first talked to me at the Scalegorge Waterscape, I didn’t know what to say.”

Dan Heng was surprised. He didn’t think she thought about that still. She didn’t seem like the type to dwell on things.

“It’s alright Stelle…if you don’t mind me asking, what were you thinking?”

Stelle looked away, embarrassed.

“It was just that we learned so much about you in a short period of time, I guess I was just shocked. It’s such a dumb reason but it was just a lot to take in.”

She looked back at him, determined to get her point across.

“I was also oddly…happy. I was happy to get to know more about you.”

Dan Heng frowned. He didn’t know why anyone would be happy to know those things about him .

“It’s not exactly a happy story.”

“No but it’s your story. Even though your not Dan Feng his story has affected you.”

Stelle moved closer to him and took his hands into her own, and gave a firm squeeze.

“I’m happy to know your story Dan Heng, and I’m glad to be your friend now.”

She smiled at him, eyes sparkling with fondness.

“Plus, I’m sure I’ve added much more action to your narrative.”

Dan Heng could feel heat rising to his face but he squeezed her hands in return.

“More like a lot of stress.” She laughed at the statement, and it rang throughout his whole body.

-

The first thing Dan Heng realized was that he was surrounded by a fiery heat. The next was that Stelle wasn’t next to him. One moment they were in the air, traveling smoothly through Amphoreus. The next he heard metal cracking and flames bursting.

“Stelle!” He yelled out, the crash had thrown him to the opposite end of the cart. He pulled himself up and struggled towards her. She was slumped over. He ran a hand over her, trying to feel her breathe, but felt a hot sticky heat. Her clothes were soaked through with her blood. Dan Heng’s breathe hitched, stomach dropped, but he needed to focus on getting her out of the cart. He could feel the flames licking at their skin.

There’s too much blood. He fought many battles in his past and current life. He knew what fatal blood loss looked like.

Dan Heng ignored the thought and shoved it away. His priority was the woman in his arms.

“Stelle, I got you, you hear me?”

Only the sounds of crackling flames answered him.

He carried her gently out of the cart, stumbling over the crushed buildings remains.

“There’s so much I need to tell you.”

She needed to know he appreciated her presence and her acceptance. Her addition to his narrative. He wanted to continue to see her smile and hear her voice. To make her laugh. He wanted her to continue stressing him out with her impulsive actions.

He remembered the first time she held his hands, when she told him she was thankful for him.

Dan Heng wanted so much. He had never wanted something so badly before. After being released from the Shackling Prison he felt he couldn‘t ask for more, but he would beg for this.

“Please.” He pleaded to whatever Aeon would dignify them with THEIR gaze. and continued until he felt a flash of pain and all he saw was black.

-

When he woke up to see her standing over him he thought he died. It’s not until he realized she looked embarrassed that he reconsidered.

“How long have you been up?” she asked, a slight blush appearing on her face.

They were still in Amphoreus. She’s alive and well spirited, but anxious. There wasn’t even a speck of blood on her.

“You’re staring Dan Heng?”

He looked away and tried to gather his thoughts.

“Apologies, the crash took a lot out of me.”

Stelle relaxed and showed him her bright smile.

“I’m just glad you’re alright,” she said softly.

Dan Heng recalled the blood on his hands. The warm liquid seeping through his fingers as Stelle remained still. He tried to calm his racing heartbeat.

“I’m glad you’re alright too.”

-

He knew Stelle taking the trial of Oronyx was their only option but he didn’t expect for Stelle’s prophecy to unveil a somber realization. Dan Heng felt tense as he stared out into the holy city until he heard a rustling from the chaise behind him. He rushed towards her as she woke up from her sleep.

She still looked groggy and a bit disoriented as he helped her stand. Stelle rubbed her eyes and yawned, looking as if she hasn’t just received devastating news. Her eyes moved towards him and her expression shifted from relaxed to concern. Dan Heng imagined his face betrayed his thoughts.

“So, I guess you heard.”

“Mem told me everything.”

Mem’s apologizing became muffled noise to him. He could only focus on her face. The blood on his hands and her still body seemed fresh in his mind.

She forced a small smile and averted her gaze.

“Well, I guess I can say that I’ve truly done it all right?”

Her humor doesn’t land with the same brevity but she continued.

“I’m not worried. Well maybe a little,” she said, “but we’ve handled so many other things. Death is just another to add to the list.”

“I’m glad you’re taking this well,” Dan Heng replied stiffly.

“I’m a member of the Astral Express, the Galactic Baseballer, and the first Nameless demigod right? I have to remain composed. Like you.” She winked at him.

If only she knew how wrong her assessment was.

He told her about their entry into Amphoreus, no longer able to hold it in. He doesn’t tell her he saw her dead body among the dead of his nightmares. She’s silent as he spoke, a rare occurrence, but Stelle knew when the mood needed to shift. He hoped that his emotions didn’t slip though excessively. Mem seemed to have left them alone.

“I’m sorry.” She said after a moment of silence.

“Why are you apologizing?” He thinks back to their meetings in his cabin, after she learned of his past, when things started to shift ever so slightly between them.

Before answering, Stelle walked up to him and drew her arms around his waist, resting her head against his chest. Dan Heng was used to her physical touches but they always knocked the air out of him.

“It must have been difficult seeing me like that…it never gets easier seeing people you care about in pain. I couldn’t imagine what I’d do if it was you in my place.”

Dan Heng couldn’t form a response, but she’s right. It never got easier. So he returned her hug slowly, still not used to the movement. He was never and still is not great at returning physical affections. Or comforting. He was practical to a fault. But he would at least try.

He wrapped one arm across her back and threaded his other hand through her hair, resting it along the back of her neck. Letting out a shaky breathe, he rested his head against hers. Even if she was a bundle of memories, her presence felt the same. Her warmth felt as if she was truly whole. After all that they’ve been through he couldn’t lose this. He was determined to bring her out of this planet alive and back to the place they both call home. Slowly, he placed a gentle kiss along her forehead, as if sealing his promise within her.

[chaoticbardlady99]

Astarion being able to taste food again and he bites a lemon, rind and all

I have no idea if this was your vision, but it was very fun for me to write! Thank you for the hilarious prompt!

Living Astarion x GN! Tav mentioned

It has been approximately two days since Astarion had used the Wish Scroll and became a living, breathing person and it has been a very bizarre and disorienting experience.

 For starters, Tav is nowhere to be found in their shared house and Astarion isn’t able to use scent to find him anymore so Gods only knows where they wandered off to. Then he woke up absolutely fucking parched and downed a ton of water at once- quickly learning that doing that is not a fun time for a variety of reasons (he definitely didn’t almost piss himself walking home from Sorcerer Sundries). 

 And now? Well now his fucking stomach is growling and he has a plethora of blood, but there is no food until Tav comes back from wherever.

 Astarion has never felt more irritated in his entire life- not even looking at his reflection and messing with his hair is helping. 

 The pain in his stomach is gnawing and awful- he almost feels as bad as he did when he needed blood, but these cramps make it hard to breathe and breathing is a necessity now and-

 Why did I want to be mortal again? Astarion begins to panic, why didn’t I just wish to be able to walk in the sun instead? Or quite literally anything else!?

Stop it! He chastises himself, you are just hungry, this is not the end of the world. You will adjust eventually.

 It takes 10 more minutes of Tav not showing up for Astarion to truly lose it. He is on the verge of tears and a toddler-like fit- what in the hell is happening to him!?

 He throws open the pantry with the force of a thousand men and the tears of a rejected teenager- he would care about the state of the cabinet if he wasn’t so ravenous. That’s a future Astarion problem now. 

 He grabs the one and only thing he can find- a lemon, something he hasn’t tried yet.

 Astarion drops the lemon with his shaking hands and screams at the ceiling, pouncing on the lemon on the floor, and proceeds to bite into the whole thing. He’s seen Tav eat apples this way, lemons can’t be all that different.

 Oh, but he was wrong, so horribly wrong.

  Astarion coughs and sputters- desperately trying to get the acidity out of his mouth and the thick skin. The more he chews it, the more it feels like leather and the taste just gets worse. 

 AND then he discovers are FUCKING SEEDS when he tries to bite down on one and hurts his teeth.

“

“GO-” he begins to choke on the content in his mouth and he can’t help but think of the ridiculous irony of him coming back to life just to die two days later.

 A fist to his stomach helps him to finally spit all of it out- coughing and crying. Some of the lemon also went up into his nose and he really thought he knew what real pain is. He is beginning to realize that he doesn’t know pain at all and his new pain tolerance is incredibly low.

 “Astarion!” Tav chastises him, checking him with a panic and wiping away his tears, “what happened, my Love!?”

 He cries, hugging Tav- thank GODS they are finally back! 

“I was hungry and really uncomfortable and so I grabbed what we had left.”

  Tav looks at him and then down at the floor where the culprit lies. They look back up at Astarion and he can see them fighting not to laugh.

“Astarion,” Tav says slowly, struggling with holding it together, “lemons need to be peeled before you eat them. Also they are more for beverages and as a flavor adder of sorts.”

 He scoffs, “That explains it- and did you know they have seeds!?”

  Tav explains that most fruits have seeds- which absolutely pisses him right off- but Tav eventually brings in the groceries and makes him something to eat. He scarfs it down.

“Better than the lemon?” Tav asks with a cheeky grin.

 Astarion nods happily and goes back to enjoying his food. Tav kisses his cheek and goes to clean up the ridiculous lemon on the floor- reminding themselves to not let the pantry run out again.

[lunatic-pudge]

Vampire P1 Dude Headcanons

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I had some request for what kind of mythological being the Mercs would be so my brain immediately thought of vampire Postal Dude. He isn't even apart of the TF2 timeline but oh well. I find Dude would be a vampire, though I am willing to hear people out on something like zombie Dude or werewolf Dude.

Using P1 Dude cause he fits the vampire thing really well. Any objections will be met with me ugly crying and asking why.

And if anyone wants, maybe I could write a little something something based off this when I have the time. Or if anyone wants to write their own fic, I'd love to read it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-So Dude as a vampire. Poor thing is STRUGGLING.

-He's a borderline agoraphobe (like me), so going out to feed is super hard for him. He's glad that he only can venture out at night. Daytime is scary

-So pale it's unbelievable. He doesn't even look real at times, it can be scary. He's so paranoid about any sunlight entering his home. He thinks even sunlight will infect him with the hate disease

-Super quiet. You'd think you'd be able to hear him walking around but it's like he's floating with how quiet he exists. He tends to scare you quite often with how silent he is. He doesn't mean to scare you and will make up for it with hugs and kisses

-Your blood is his favorite. But he understands that you kinda need it to live so he only takes your blood sparingly.

-He makes sure that when he takes blood from you, he's careful with it. He'll get you comfy, make sure drinks and snack are readily available for afterwards, constantly asking if you're okay with him feeding on you and to let him know if you don't want this. He can be a bit of a worried mess. Just reassure him that it's okay to feast

-His fangs are long and rather sharp, he eventually cuts himself on them at times by accident. So while it hurts to get bit, it's not too bad. It really is like going to the blood bank and donating some blood. It is a draining experience so by the time he's finished, you'll be rather exhausted. He'll gladly lay with you and make sure you're okay afterwards. He might fear that he took a little too much but he's just being paranoid. Dude knows to not take too much from you

-Loves walking around the local cemetery at night. He knows there won't be people around to bother you two

-Being with Dude means changing your sleep schedule. I'm sorry if you're a morning person. You will have to learn how to be a night owl with Dude. Once the sun comes up, he's locking himself away in his room and refusing to come out

-Loves watching you sleep. He finds it interesting watching you resting and how gentle your chest rises and falls. How he can tell when you're having good dreams or bad ones. He especially likes to play with your hair and give you little kisses on the cheeks while you sleep. Making a promise to kill anyone who wrongs you

-He usually bring his victims home. He'll have them knocked unconscious as to avoid too many problems. He'll drain them of their blood and save any of it for later. He'll skin and butcher them up and give the flesh to Champ. So be sure to avoid the "meat" in his fridge. Don't question why there's so much of it either. He makes sure his baby is taken care of

[inyourgravehcs]

♡ Him and his cat ♡

• Blade wasn't the type to be easily enthralled by a cute animal with big eyes and a fluffy coat... or was he?

• "Meet Sesame Cake." you show the man a picture on your phone of a cute kitty living in it's sweet skin. At the same moment, Blade's eyes open wide and seem to light up with a rare flame of genuine delight. In truth, the changes in his facial expression were almost too subtle, but as his lover, you learned to recognize them. Without a word, he turned in the opposite direction from you, and only by the corner of your eye could you catch the corners of his lips lifting in a slight smile.

• Well, apparently he had no idea what that was about at all. Oh, he had no idea for real.

• You had the opportunity to visit Herta Space Station at just the right time - there were too many critters being given away. So how could you leave without the cherished Sesame Cake, who so resembles your boyfriend?

• Upon your return home, Blade was in for a surprise. His bewilderment was indescribable — at least because it was as non-obvious as possible and there was nothing to describe — he immediately began to study the amazing creature, trying to find a way to approach it. The dawn of his eyes gazed into the abyss of the cat's eyes, both of them freezing in place, and you could have sworn that at least half an hour this tandem spent in dead silence, not moving or making a sound.

• After the successful introduction of these two, it was safe to say that they had found each other. Sesame Cake and Blade bond at an incredibly fast rate, from Sesame Cake sniffing Blade's hand every other day to constantly spending time together, a process that happens so quickly that it was impossible to notice the transition between these two points.

• Sesame often gets into all sorts of trouble, Quite like his owner. You can be sure that Blade is the first to come to the rescue, inspecting the kitty for any signs of injury and then carefully bandaging the cat's tail, which suffers in such situations more often than not.

• Since Blade needs something to cuddle in his sleep, he now often enlists Sesame's help if you're suddenly not around. On the busiest days, when you go to bed later than he does, a sleepy realm of sweet peace looms over the bedroom, with Blade's arms wrapped around Sesame's rounded form, cradling it closer to himself like a pillow. Surprisingly, the man would rather bring his pet to bed with him than his own dearest sword.

• The cat itself, while equally fond of snoozing on both you and Blade, prefers to fall asleep between both of his owners when given the opportunity.

• Sesame Cake will definitely give Blade more reason to be jealous... except that he'll be jealous of everyone indiscriminately. If you suddenly start petting the kitty, excluding Blade from the picture, he'll experience two layers of jealousy at once - both of you, because Sesame chose you over Blade, and of the cat, because you, as if nothing happened, take ignoring the man as a fact, trading your dear boyfriend for fluffy cat cheeks.

• In the end, Blade has come up with a whole scheme to avoid such situations - Stellaron Hunter will immediately come to lie down on your lap by himself as soon as you take your favorite spot on the couch. This way, Sesame Cake will have to lie on top of his owner, and you'll have the opportunity to use both of your hands: Blade will get unscheduled caresses, and Sesame will be loved from all sides with stroking and scratching on the top of his skin. Two birds with one stone!

♡ ── ✦ ──『♡』── ✦ ── ♡

Please note that english isn't my native language and can be awkward at times.

Please don't translate or repost my works without asking for my permission first!

[whentherewerebicycles]

I was driving home from the park the other day and thinking, wow, I am measurably happier by every metric I can think of since having a baby. I think many aspects of my circumstances and environment have helped with that. I have a really strong support network, my kid and I are both healthy, and perhaps most importantly my best friend lives five minutes away and had a baby six weeks after I did so I’ve been able to experience the joys and frustrations of early parenthood with somebody who really gets it and is going through the same thing. oh and my kid is a good sleeper which is HUGE. but to me those factors explain why parenthood has felt doable, not necessarily why it’s made me feel so much happier. I was thinking about it more this morning and I think it has something to do with having a stronger sense of purpose. I am someone who really thrives on having a very clear sense of meaning and direction. I am very goal-oriented, not in the sense of being achievement-oriented but in the sense of, I really like waking up every morning and feeling like everything I do in the day is me working towards something. and having a child feels like that to me. NOT like he is my project or my life’s work or whatever, but like… now even doing mundane stuff like grocery shopping or folding laundry feels more joyful and purposeful because I’m doing it for us and for our shared life together! I get to involve him in these activities and watch him learn and experience stuff for the first time! I am working towards the “goal” of building a life and a home where this child and I can both thrive. it reminds me of when I got Pip and suddenly went from spending a lot of time in my house to being out of the house all the time because I wanted to show him new things and give him new experiences. taking a walk on my own was kind of a drag, but taking my puppy on a walk was a joyful, purposeful experience because I got to see him delighting in all the new smells and unexpected sights, and that motivated me to take him to places I’d never been before because it was so fun to explore together. and that of course was so good for ME and for my emotional well-being too! I feel like something similar has happened with the baby—instead of going home after work and staying in the house, I take him over to Liz’s to spend time with our friends, or we all go to the park, or we go for a walk with the dogs so he can gaze at his beloved trees and flowering shrubs. I feel like my other relationships have become so much richer and deeper now too. I spend so much more quality time with my parents and my sister and my best friends now because they love my kid and want to spend time with him. we get to be together and share in the delight of watching him play and chatter and learn things. and that is good for my kid but it is also, again, SO good for me, as someone who doesn’t always think to seek out the company of others but who, like any human, benefits hugely from spending quality time with the people I love.

idk I just remember when I was pregnant I spent a lot of time thinking, god I am SO ready to blow up my life. I think preparing for a huge life change made me confront the fact that I had felt really stagnant for a long time, maybe longer than I’d consciously realized, maybe since the pandemic or even before that. it wasn’t that I was actively unhappy in those years, but I felt rudderless, without a guiding purpose or sense of meaning. like not to sound Depressed, because I wasn’t, but I didn’t really have a reason to wake up in the mornings except for maybe work. and work can give you some kinds of fulfillment, but I think it’s only now that I realize how much pressure I was putting on various jobs to fulfill me in all these ways that they could never really do. idk I hope it’s clear I’m not saying, oh Now I Live For My Child, Who Was Born To Give My Life Meaning, or like, now the purpose of my life is doing housework and changing diapers. it’s more like… I have a family now. I have a home. I have this little kid in my life, and getting to care for him and love him and spend time with him making him laugh and watching him grow is just like. wow. I wake up every morning and I get to dip my hands into the deep, deep well of joy that is loving somebody and doing the work of caring for them. and everything I do and think and feel, even in the non-parenting parts of my life, is just steeped in that joy. gosh. I am so happy. I am so so so happy.