#oh wait one more thought actually she's autistic and trans (projecting but also. like. tell me i'm wrong) thank you and goodnight

[shadowywerewolfqueen]

History Project

“Winchester, Novak, you two are the last pair of partners. Alright everybody, you have the rest of the period to determine what your project is going to be on. Remember, you must get it approved by me before you can begin working,” Ms. Harvelle said to her senior AP history class.

Dean sighed at hearing who he got partnered with. Castiel Novak was not the worst person to get partnered with but he wasn’t even close to the top of Dean’s list. Dean looked at Benny, his top choice, and felt a surge of jealousy that he got paired with the school’s genius, Kevin Tran. Benny was guaranteed to get an “A” now. Dean grabbed his bag and walked towards Castiel, who was sitting in the back right corner of the room, like he did in every class. For some odd reason, Cas refused to sit in any other seat.

Dean dropped his backpack on the ground before pulling a chair up and joining Cas at the table. “Hey Castiel, looks like we are partners,” Dean said nonchalantly.

Cas, who was drawing something in his notebook, didn’t look up but nodded his head. “Hello Dean. It seems we are. I’m sorry for that. I know that I wasn’t your first choice.”

“How could you know that?” Dean asked.

Cas glanced up before looking back down at his notebook. “I am the weird kid that nobody wants to work with. I’m sure you would have preferred Benny or Lisa. You probably would have taken Ketch over me.”

Dean grimaced. “Ugh, no! You’re way better than that snotty brit who thinks he knows everything. Honestly, Cas, I don’t mind being partnered with you.”

As he continued to watch Cas, he noticed the other boy suddenly set his pencil down and quietly clap his hands together three times before picking his pencil back up and start drawing again. Dean thought it odd but didn’t say anything; everybody had their eccentricities. He grabbed his pen and notebook from his bag and sat them on the table. “Alright Cas, any ideas on what to do our project on?” He waited for the other student to answer, but Cas just continued to draw in his book. Like before, Cas randomly put his pencil down and then clapped his hands three times. “Uh, Cas, you ok?”

After a few seconds, Cas finally responded. “I am fine. Do you have an idea about a project to do?”

Dean huffed. “That’s what I just asked you. Look, why don’t we look through the list of topics Ms. Harvelle gave us and mark any we would want to do. Then we can compare our choices and see if we have any in common.”

Cas clapped his hands again as he responded. “That sounds like a good idea.” He grabbed his list and started reading through it, never once looking at Dean.

“No wonder people don’t want to work with him,” Dean thought as he started going through the list. He marked off five things: Mongol Empire, Japanese Samurai, Roman Empire, Aztec Empire, and Greek Mythology. “Alright, I’ve got my list, what about you?”

Cas finally looked at Dean as he nodded his head. “My list is complete.” He clapped his hands again before sliding the list to Dean.

Dean looked at Cas’ list and was surprised at how many options on the list he checked off. Out of twenty-five topics, Cas checked off twenty-one. The four that he didn’t check were all the ones Dean had checked on his own list. There was only one choice they had in common: Greek Mythology. “Well, it seems we only have one item in common and that’s Greek mythology. Do you want to do that one since we both checked it off?”

“I think that would be best. What is your favorite topic relating to Greek mythology?” Cas asked as he continued to draw.

Dean could feel anger rising as his classmate kept ignoring him. He was trying to be a good partner and work with Cas and yet the other boy would barely look at him. Dean didn’t expect them to become best friends, but they could at least be civil and work together to get this project done. “Dude, would you look at me when you’re talking to me? I don’t even know if you’re paying me any attention.” Cas clapped again and went right back to his drawing. “And would you quit with the clapping, it’s really annoying!”

It was as if Cas didn’t even hear Dean as he kept on drawing. They sat in silence for a few minutes and when Cas clapped his hands again, Dean barely kept his anger under control. “Did you not hear me? I asked you to stop with the clapping!”

Cas actually looked at him and Dean felt bad when he saw Cas’ bright blue eyes sparkling with unshed tears. “I’m sorry I’m so aggravating to you Dean. If I could stop clapping, I would. If keeping eye contact with people didn’t cause me such anxiety, I would do it more often. Maybe we should just ask Ms. Harvelle if we can do our projects individually. Most of the teachers will make an exception because of my… uh, condition. They don’t want to deal with me either.” Cas dropped his gaze and went back to drawing, clapping his hands a few seconds later.

Dean was shocked at what Cas had just said. What condition did Cas have that would cause him to avoid eye contact and repetitively clap his hands? Even though he was weird and annoying, to think that even Cas’ teachers had been mean to him was heartbreaking. Dean suddenly felt really bad about his outburst. He looked over at Ms. Harvelle and decided he needed to talk to her.

Dean stood up and waited to see if Cas would look up. He noticed the other boy’s shoulders slumped and Cas sped up his drawing but otherwise didn’t move. Dean sighed as he walked over to the teacher. “Uh, Ms. Harvelle, can I speak to you privately for a moment?”

Ms. Harvelle looked up from her computer and smiled as she said, “Of course, Dean. What do you need?”

Dean chewed on his lip and cast a glance in Cas’ direction. The boy was still drawing, not paying anyone else in the room any attention. He looked back at his teacher. “It’s about Cas.”

“If you’re going to ask to work on your own, the answer is no,” she said before Dean could continue.

“Um, that’s not what I was going to ask. I mean, I was going to until Cas said something that was really sad,” Dean replied.

“Oh. What did he say?” She asked with concern.

“He said that he had a condition and most of the teachers didn’t want to deal with him because of it. I know Cas isn’t super popular, but I thought that teachers liked all of their students,” Dean said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Ms. Harvelle snorted. “Trust me Dean, teachers don’t like all of their students. You better not tell anybody I said that, or I’ll never make you one of my special burgers again.”

Dean grinned. “Yes, Aunt Ellen, my lips are sealed. Do you know what condition Cas has?”

She was silent and Dean feared she wouldn’t tell him. After a minute, “I shouldn’t tell you, but I think it will help you understand Castiel a bit better. Castiel is autistic. That’s why he doesn’t retain eye contact very often, why he typically draws, and why he claps every so often. He will also not always answer you when you call him and sometimes has a hard time understanding other’s emotions.”

“Oh man, I really screwed up. I got so mad at him, but I didn’t know. I need to go apologize,” Dean said, his voice full of guilt.

Ellen stood from her seat and put a gentle hand on her adoptive nephew’s shoulder. “Dean don’t beat yourself up. You aren’t the first and sadly you won’t be the last. As you heard Cas say, a lot of his teachers have a hard time accepting him. I just hope from now on, you won’t be so quick to judge others.”

Dean dropped his gaze. “I promise not to. I feel really bad and just hope Cas will still want to work with me.”

Ellen flashed a smile at the teen. “Apologize and make sure he knows that you’re sorry. Honestly, I put you with Cas for a reason. I figured if there was anyone in class who would be willing to understand him and work with him, it would be you. One more tip, even if Cas looks like he’s ignoring you, he’s probably not.”

Dean felt a little better after hearing Ellen’s words. “Thanks, and I promise Cas and I will have an amazing project to turn in.”

Dean walked back to his seat and this time when Cas clapped, he didn’t find it as annoying as before. “Hey Cas, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for the way I acted before. I shouldn’t have gotten mad about things you can’t, uh, control. I promise to be more patient from now on.”

Cas didn’t look at him, but Dean was able to make out the smile that spread across his face. “Thank you, Dean. That means a lot. Does this mean that you want to be my partner?”

“Yeah Cas it does,” Dean replied with a grin. “So, my favorite topic in Greek mythology is the gods and goddesses. What about you?”

Cas nodded. “That’s actually my favorite topic as well. So, what kind of project do you want to do?”

“Alright guys, we’ve got about five minutes before class ends,” Ms. Harvelle warned.

“Hey, how about you come home with me today after school and we can brainstorm some ideas?” Dean offered as he packed his bag up.

“That would be acceptable. I will meet you after school by the gym,” Cas replied as he packed his own backpack up except for his notebook and pencil. While they waited for the bell to ring, he continued to draw in his book.

Dean looked over to see what he was drawing and gasped. “Dude, that’s amazing! How the heck can you draw that with just a pencil? Man, my stick figures are pathetic and here you are drawing a rendition of ‘A Starry Night.’”

Cas glanced at him with a smile before immediately dropping his eyes. “Thank you, Dean. I love drawing and this is my favorite painting, so I decided to try and draw it myself. It’s not as good as Van Gogh’s, but I’m proud of it.”

Dean’s eyes lit up. “That’s it! What if we made a book on the gods and goddesses? You can do the artwork and I could come up with a story? My drawing sucks, but my writing is pretty great.”

Cas nodded, clapping his hands excitedly. “I love that idea! We need to get it approved; I hope Ms. Harvelle will approve it.”

Dean stood from his seat and hurried over to his aunt. He told her their idea and she was very excited about their project. He walked back to Cas; a large smile plastered on his face. “She gave us a very enthusiastic yes! So, we can start working on it today after school, if you still want to come over that is.”

“I would still like to come over. The sooner we get started, the better,” Cas replied right as the bell rang.

The two boys walked out of class together, Cas drawing as he walked. Dean kept an eye out to make sure Castiel didn’t run into anything, but he didn’t need it. The other student avoided every obstacle with ease. They said their goodbyes as they parted ways, Dean going to science and Cas walking towards the art building.

By the end of their project, which they got an “A+” on, Cas had become one of Dean’s best friends. Five years later, Cas was a successful artist and Dean was working on his third book to publish. They were still best friends, but now they were also husbands who loved each other unconditionally.

Tagging: @lonewolf34500 @notwithd @starrynightdeancas @flowersforcas @cockleslovesdestiel

[transromanticism]

any spare trans shawn hcs ? 🥺

KSKAKKSJLKSKS MY TIME HAS COME

just a heads up trans shawn is probably the most i've ever projected onto a character (no joke). also i'm gonna mention trans gus + trans jules bc yeah ✌🏼😗

when shawn was a kid he was like Tomboy™. if you searched tomboy on a dictionary shawn's childhood pics would be there. and like his parents were always like "shawn why don't you wear a dress? what about this pink shirt? let me style your hair" but they let him be all tomboyish bc he was like textbook adhd yknow. he and gus became friends over being the "weirdest" girls of the class and shawn was always fighting with girls who would pick on them bc gus hated it sometimes in really bad days it would lead to him having meltdowns (bc gus's autistic and you can fight me in that).

anyway nothing much was thought of it until he was like 12 and feelings started to happen. that's when shawn was like me? bi? in love with girls? especially gus? PFFFFFF... maybe. which is like ok whatever that wasn't so hard yknow. he looks both that's cool that's nice. gus likes both too so that's cool too. BUT THEN shawn's like uh. i don't really feel like a girl. i wish i wasn't a girl bc i don't like being a girl.

cut to 13yo shawn and he cuts his hair real short and one day someone calls him a boy and he's like :O I'M A BOY and he talk to gus about it and he gets really excited about it and can barely contain himself (gus's really happy for him and falls in love even more with shawn and he starts to question his gender too bc shawn's talking about stuff he also feels and he's like maybe? no, but what if?). shawn decides on the name shawn a little before his 14th bday and he and gus sort of become each other's safe haven bc they're the only people that know and use the other's name and pronouns.

cut to 16yo shawn and he finally comes out to his dad. gus & shawn made a pact to come out on the same night so that's what they're doing. henry is accepting? like, he doesn't get it, and he's kinda rude sometimes, but he loves his son (and his friend who's also his boyfriend). shawn knows it's not that safe for him to start transition, so he waits until he finishes hs, which ends up being another reason he leaves sb. he gets why gus's going to college, bc that's how gus wants to transition, but that's just not his thing. shawn knows he wouldn't fit in college, and it would be just a continuation of the inferno of school, so he goes away. in the 10 years, he starts taking t and get's top surgery (he loves his chest scars SO MUCH). he and gus keep sending each other postcards updating each other on their transition, and if it's a big thing that makes them really excited, they call each other and talk for hours.

when shawn comes back, he's more himself than he ever could be. for once, shawn's actually shawn. seeing gus makes me legit cry, and he can't even believe this is happening? like, he wishes he could tell 13yo shawn that's still unsure about what name to go by that a day will come where he's got a goddamn fucking beard and so does gus and they're together in love and happy being who they truly are. hell, even saying it now still sounds unreal!

which is why when shawn's called to the precinct, it sucks even more. he knows he will be deadnamed and possibly even misgendered, he doesn't expect less, and he's goddamn correct. lassiter asks for his name, and he notices he's henry spencer's kid, "yeah, that one" "uh, i thought he had a daughter", and under his breathe shawn days "yeah, he did". and when lassiter asks for his papers and he only gets a "there's no shawn spencer, sir" he gets really confused. shawn waits for some time, like he's collecting himself. he hates so fucking much already, and he hasn't even got to the worst part. barry nudges shawn and asks him to explain himself, to which he responds with a sigh and days "look for [deadname] spencer", which they do, and they thing, but lassiter still doesn't accept bc "this is a girl, and you're not" to which shawn says "some people are trans!" which leads to even more confusion bc cis people in 2006 don't know shit about trans people. thank god buzz knocked at the door before shawn started crying.

anyway shawn & gus are kinda :/ with working with the sbpd but they're also like whatever we get some money and it's nice yknow? until jules into the picture. they don't know she's trans btw and neither does she know about them initially. but one day going through files, jules's like "wait where are gus's and shawn's files? they're supposed to be here" and then she idk asks lassiter and he's like "yeah turns out spencer's trans and so is guster" and she's like :OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO but like on the inside so she just says "oh really? cool for them" and leaves. the next day she goes RUNNING to the psych office and she's like "WHY DIDN'T YOU GUYS TELL ME YOU WERE TRANS" and gus's like "how the heck did you discover that??????" and jules explains what happened and shawn's like "damn lassiter that was not cool" while gus's like "okay but why are you barging into our office asking us why we didn't come out to you?" and then jules comes out to them and shawn & gus are like "WAIT YOU TOO?" and they three become the spider man pointing at each other meme but they're excited trans people bc they just round another trans person. they become the trans trio and their wlw/mlm solidarity grows stronger. yknow that scene in the s1 finale where it's the three of them eating takeout and laughing? TRANS TRIO

anyway thanks for listening to me trans rambling about my fav hc even if this wasn't exactly what you asked for 💞 now i'm gonna first write another post where it's actually just a bunch of psych trans hcs and then add to my wip ideas "psych moments rewrite where shawn+gus+jules are trans"

[b0ttl3d-up-st4rs]

Well I'm gonna do what I do best and self reflect to an insane amount. This is probably gonna be a long post so buckle up.

To be honest my behavior for nearly the past year now is concerning to say the least. There's this little voice in my head that just desperately wants to get more and more hurt, more and more traumatized. Why is that? At first glance the negative approach could be to say its some sort of masochistic behavior and any negative repercussions as a result of this behavior is deserved, but I don't really think thats the case.

Self sabotage is a characteristic that can be exhibited in many mentally ill people and I am no exception. I think this behavior, of seeking to be hurt by grown men on the internet is partially self sabotage.

And I remember when I first started this shit show, I just wanted attention. Sounds mean to say, but craving attention is something the human soul desperately wants. And I was starting to feel some sense of self beauty but I didn't feel as though anyone around me was appreciating it so I tried to get attention from grown men because being showered in compliments and attention felt so good when my whole life I've never gotten any of that.

I think there's more too it, though. Looking back my whole life it's almost as if I've wanted to get hurt. In books I liked to sit around with the pain the characters felt. And its almost like I wanted to get traumatized. I've heard that people with trauma that they don't acknowledge is trauma or think its bad enough to be traumatizing seek put worse forms of trauma, in order to feel that pain is valid. And I think that's part of my issue too.

I do have unaddressed and repressed childhood trauma. I was given unrestricted internet at a young age and was exposed to the horrors of the internet. Nothing like straight up porn, but a lot of suggestive content. And in general being exposed to that caused me a lot of catholic guilt as I was raised catholic. I remember feeling like knowing these things were my fault. Many days I felt so guilty that I would pray to god to let me not wake up in the morning.

As a child I also questioned my religion a lot, which i think was traumatic in itself. Religion is a big thing. And as a kid I had a big issue knowing reality from fiction. Heck I still do. I remember as a kid my friend telling me that we were all demigods and one day we were going to run away to camp half blood. That the percy jackson books were real. It sounds stupid now, but I processed that as real and it was so stressful for me.

And I remember being 12 coming out as trans and as a part of the lgbtq community to my parents. They didnt react well. They said I was confused. My mom said I was both too young and too old to know. I fought a lot with my mom. And in general have a lot of unhappy memories from then. I was outed multiple times in my life.

My relationship with my parents still isnt good. My mom has a tendency to be toxic. I hate that I have to stay in the closet around my family its so painful. Like a month ago I mentioned the lgbtq community for the first time in years, asking my mom her opinions on it and if it changed since 2017, and it turned into her yelling at me and making herself a victim. It really hurt. I forgot how much it hurt.

I don't really have much of a relationship with my dad. We barely talk. Hes very emotionally distant. When I'm at my dad's house I sort of fend for myself. Its the exact opposite at my moms house. She's overbearing and never leaves you alone. It's like going between to extremes.

And honestly I can't wait to move out. My mom and I have arguments a lot. But hey at least I have some relationship with her, I don't really have a relationship with my dad.

I remember one time this year, I was during the end of a school semester. I needed to catch up on work because after talking to my abuser for like 5 months and then unlocking him I was left in shambles and fell into a really bad depression to where my motivation for school just disapeared. Im still dealing with that tbh. Anyways I had to go to a online meeting to choose my classes and I didn't get to choose the classes I thought I would be able to, and that made me really upset. But after the meeting I had to go to do am act of kindness (I chose picking up litter at a graveyard cause i like graveyards) for my school project but I was still distraught. If I was given some time to myself I probably wouldve been able to go without issue, but my mom wanted to go immediately. We argued. And when I got there I refused to leave the car because I felt so much like shit. We argued more. It was the worst argument I ever had. She even swore at me. Which she's never done before. And she ended up playing victim again. She does that a lot I guess. And doesn't really listen to my feelings. Whenever I try to communicate about my feelings with her it turns into an argument and she makes it about herself. So yeah our relationship isn't the greatest. And I think having mommy and daddy issues is a trauma in itself. Ppl deserve to have happy healthy supportive families.

Oh right and another trauma I completely forgot (funny how that happens) is when I was 14 and admitted to a mental hospital because I tried to off myself. It was so surreal and they forced me to learn how to make eye contact with people cause apparently thats "how they know im doing ok". Which is kinda fucked considering the fact I recently realized I might be autistic. And eye contact is literally so painful for me. It especially was back then. Anyways the place itself wasnt too bad but the feeling of being trapped overall sucks and being disconnected from the rest of the world isnt fun either. Also I dissociate all the time but I especially dissociated hard thru the whole experience. And sort of made myself into the perfect patient, repeating all their bs and literally lying to myself to convince myself that I was ok so they would let me go. So that was kind of weird.

Anyways I know I have it better than others. And honestly sometimes it's hard to tell what exactly was traumatic in my childhood. I probably forgot and repressed other parts of it too and am forgetting things. But needless to say these unaddressed traumas didn't help my mental state. And i do think that's a big part of the voice in my head begging me to just get hurt more.

Overall my mental state is fucked, It's been really hard for me not to be taken advantage of by another internet pedo. Heck the only reason that isn't happening rn is because no ones dmed me yet. Also I unblocked my old abuser and we are talking again now so thats fun. It definitely doesnt help the cognitive dissonance in my brain of him being actually a nice and supportive dude. I think thats also a part of me wanting to get more traumatized. Since my abuser is a nice person that should counteract all the fucked up sexual things he said to me in the past right? I mean others have it worse, had worse abusers that were actively cruel. That's part of the bitch in my subconscious brain talking. It sucks tbh.

Anyways yeah I probably need therapy but I don't feel comfortable talking about this to my current counselor and honestly its really hard to say out loud. I can talk forever about it by writing it down but the moment I speak words from my dumbass mouth I break down in tears and can't do it. Plus idk, I'm scared if I say anything she'll have to tell my parents and that my phone might be taken away or I'll have less privacy and for a closeted queer where my only current life line is the internet and my online friends: that is a terrifying idea. Idk. I'm fucked basically.

[infiniteglitterfall]

are aces lgbt?

The exclusionist argument always seems to boil down to, “I don’t hear aces describing any experiences I relate to, so they’re not lgbt.” 

I think we’re going about this backwards. 

If that’s the way people want to define it, we should be listing things that are obviously examples of “lgbt” oppression,” like • being kicked out,  • getting raped by someone who wants to change your sexual orientation, not just because you said no or because misogyny, • harassed at church, work, or school, • being threatened with or sent to conversion therapy, etc., 

and then seeing if aces also experience them. 

Sorry, I put kind of a lot of examples of these in the first section. It was really hard to restrain myself because there were just SO MANY. I tried not to do 5 examples for every single one at least.... 

Step 1: what kind of oppression do lgbt+ people experience?  

• 30% more harassment, 221% more sexual assault, 100% more intimate partner violence, and 277% more stalking than straight people.

conversion therapy and rejection at church

1. “I was sent [to conversion therapy by my church] to be barraged [with] self doubt and shame until I became afraid to even look at the same gender.... The distinction is often made that [conversion therapy would] be 'against your will’ but that isn’t nearly as cut and dry as it sounds. When you are publicly shamed by your congregation (if 'accused’ in a religious setting) you may very well agree to conversion therapy as your only option. Especially if your a minor like I was. ”

2. “When a preacher found out [about my sexual orientation] he recommended conversion therapy – even before i had come out as pan or trans.... guess who was told by members of their church to go to hell when they came out...? Me!” 

3. “So, I’m a Christian. Was raised by and still live with a super conservative Christian family. Babysit for a super conservative Christian small group. Live in a super conservative Christian neighbourhood. Went to a super conservative Christian summer camp literally every summer of my life. 

“Basically I’ve met a lot of conservative Christians.... [What they tell me is people like me] are ‘unnatural’. That it’s a shame they’ll never be able to fulfill their ‘God given duty’ AKA get married and create lots of little conservative Christians. That they’re sick and should be treated so they can experience true happiness some day AKA marriage and creating lots of little conservative Christians.”

4. “I'm a victim of corrective assault, been threatened with conversion therapy, been forced to medicate to ‘fix’ my sexuality and been threatened by pastors of my church. I'm just so upset.”

5. “[My mom] believes its a mental issue and wants me to start corrective therapy Monday. Why can't she just accept me as me, why do I need ‘fixed’"

corrective rape

1. “[When we talk about corrective rape], we’re talking about the so-called friend, the ex boyfriend, who I got along with just fine after we stopped trying to date, right up until he cornered me outside of Prom. We’re talking about the guy who’d been told by someone else I considered a friend all about [me questioning my sexual orientation]. Who kept oh-so-considerately telling me that he was doing this for my sake, that after I understood how good it felt, I’d be normal.” 

2. “my ex-boyfriend... decided to trick me into drinking, manipulate me emotionally, and force me into sexual situations after I came out to him because he thought he could fix me and didn’t stop even after multiple failed attempts.”

3. “[my rope partner] decided to trick me into drinking, manipulate me emotionally, and force me into sexual situations after I came out to him because he thought he could convince me I wasn’t.”

4. “When I came out [to my mum], she starting to force me to date girls so I would have sex with them (to 'fix' me) and even took me to the doctors and my endocrinologist to get my hormones checked since she was convinced there was something really wrong with me.”

5. “He started by pressuring me assuming it was a mental health issue, he already knew I had many, he assumed if I had adequate access to counselling I would be “fixed” He blamed it on everything from my childhood to my self esteem.

“And then he decided it was because I’d never had sex. He raped me at least 6 times, I dissociated a lot of the relationship but I know there were 6 places where it happened, I don’t know how many times it happened in any given place though. He told me that I should be happy because it proved I was wanted, that eventually I’ll like it, and that he needed to make me “whole” He said that he knew that there was a straight girl underneath everything who just needed to know that it was ‘okay to be sexual.’”

getting kicked out

1. “my mom threatens to throw me out if I so much as bring it up“

2. “When I was house hopping, basically homeless as a young adult, my roommates would kick me out for not having sex with them. [Being out of the closet] got me homeless and back with my abusive mother.”

3. “I'm an 17 year old... and a junior in high school. I came out... to my family the other day and it went so horribly wrong. My own parents accused me of being some odd freak that's not human and just... kicked me out. I only have my clothes, computer and such electronics, 100 dollars and my cat. I'm living in a friend's basement. I wanted to go to college and earn a masters degree... but I have nothing. I'm so lost. I don't know what to do.”

4. “I know for a fact if my mom finds out I'll be homeless on the streets myself.”

5. “I [was] forced to have intercourse to try keeping my abuser from making me homeless... constantly [using my sexual orientation to]... threaten to kick me out 24/7.”

general familial rejection

1. “i've heard 'i was threatened with being kicked out of my house' so, so many times. also 'i was abused/hit when i came out'. most ppl just went back into the closet and lied.” 

2. “My ex boyfriend sexually assaulted me [when I came out]. People have mocked me constantly for it. My parents put me in therapy for it.“

3. “I’ve tried to come out to my parents so many times and my dad doesn’t believe me, and my mom thinks it means there’s something wrong with me!”

4. “I just recently went to a family reunion and... I confided in a cousin about [my sexual orientation] and of course he told everyone, then they all legit got angry at me [for it]. Asking me how it happened, telling me it wasn't real, it got to the point where they screamed at me then my aunt started setting me up with guys in her neighborhood.”

5. “Mi padre dice que... es una moda y que son "subnormales" les que lo son.  Me quiero ir de casa. [broken heart emoji]” (translation: “My father says that [my sexual orientation is] a fad and that people like that are ‘subnormal.’ I want to leave the house. [broken heart emoji]”)

harassment at work or school

1. “i overheard my boss discussing ways to get me to leave. somehow, and i don’t know how, he saw some of my tweets talking about [my sexual orientation]. he’s of the option that [it] is some disease, that it goes hand in hand with being devoid of emotions somehow, and that because of that i can’t possibly be a good teacher because i am incapable of empathy for the children and i am mentally ill.

“sure. he can’t fire me for that. but he sure can make my work environment so stressful, uncomfortable, and downright hostile. and he can do that so much it will make me quit. i didn’t want to let him win, but like. i was legitimately suicidal because of the environment at work and i felt like i had to quit.”

2. “I'm actually one of those... who have been denied a job simply because of my [sexuality]! last year the college I go to was looking for a counselor for the younger classes, something I've wanted to do! a week after I applied, I got an email saying that while I was qualified they saw my... posts [about sexual orientation] on my FB and didnt want to hire me because they were afraid I wouldn't be able to positively connect to others!”

3. “I'd like to chime in on the whole workplace thing. In my experience, yes, [even if you’re not out], they can tell. They'll notice that you don't have [or at least don’t talk about] a significant other. They'll notice when you don't join in certain conversations, especially ones talking about relationships and ‘hot’ people. They'll notice. And, if my experiences are any indication, they'll talk about you behind your back.”

4. “I spent half of my freshman year math class tensed up in terror, trying to ignore the boy with his hand up my shirt because he'd threatened to out me to my parents if I told a soul - and my parents would have put me in therapy....”

abuse within the mental health system

1. “i have severe depression and about a year ago i had checked myself into a mental hospital because i knew i couldn’t keep myself safe. the hospital felt like a safe space to me and at one point during conversation i came out.... one of the patients, a male much older than me, began to tell me how... he would [sexually] touch me. he was very graphic about how and where he would touch me. everyone in the room cheered and laughed. i was terrified.... two days later i attempted suicide. i was immediately sent to another mental hospital. this time involuntarily.“ 

2. “How do I quantify my experience with that therapist? Do I drop names? I’m certain he’s still billing himself as a gender specialist.... And I mean, I was extra-complicated, is it really his fault I got messed up, that CBT backfired so hard?

“Yes, actually. Yes, it’s his fault.

“Sometimes now I even call that experience abusive. Certainly gaslighting.

“There was so much ‘you overattach to labels and overthink everything’ as a Solution? But most of all, the “this again?” was the worst. The ‘we’ve covered this, you’re not X, that’s your disordered thinking again.’

“And any time I mentioned that, it was all awkward and unanticipated and sorry-you-feel-that-way(-it’s-your-brain-again)(-couldn’t-have-known).

"Then last summer I realized I was autistic, and he laughed at the mere idea, and I isolated until I ended up in the psych hospital.”

3. “When I was 19, I was in therapy trying to deal with depression and anxiety (and honestly a lot of child abuse I didn’t realize was abuse at the time).  My therapist... made a lot of homophobic statements, didn’t believe bisexuality was a thing either... INSISTED that I ‘just didn’t want to get better’.... He gave a male client my contact information, pushed me to go on a date for multiple sessions, and pressured me to have sex when I said I didn’t want to.

“I was raped.”

4. “I love not being able to talk to my psychologist about my issues [around sexuality] because if we do she'll suggest conversion therapy for me again. Feels good, feels organic” 

Step 2. compare the above to studies that include aces, and to the personal stories of aces

wait, we don’t have to. 

all of the above examples are actually by and about aces. 

and no, the study results linked at the top are not from the “group x” one about who people imagine they’d discriminate against. it’s a totally separate university study that asked about what people had actually experienced.