#oh u wanna look up a show or comic? good fucking luck

[etherical-angel]

alters who yearn for the 90s again and modern alters being like. u wouldnt survive a damn day without that mfing phone.

[flo-shifting]

Places I want to shift to.

RICK AND MORTY DR.

Okey, I know that it's a crazy place to shift to, and it's a little dysfunctional and potentially traumatizing? But also I want that chaos and adventure and to go to those s p a c e p a r t y s.

Safety measures: I'm never in real danger duh, or in any situation where it gets gory or over the top violent. protagonist luck obvi but also that movie kinda rule where even if there are big explosions or anything like that nobody dies. also emotional safety measures, this family isn't that dysfunctional and actually good to each other.

Silly and out of cannon adventures kinda DR.

NARUTO DR.

Bro. I'm so going to overpower myself with this safety measures. Ain't no way I'm ever losing a battle or getting seriously hurt, oh, but where's the fun in that? It's not realistic at all! Excuse me??? actual ppl think this what the actual fuck

Bad bitch DR. I want so bad to have a battle where somehow I have to fight with eyes close, like I just want to be a ninja and trow knifes and run with my arms like that, I think is going to be HILARIOUS. Also, how the world gonna look like ????

General vibe: all the ninja stuff stars over when you're over 18 cuz it's messed up and i'm shifting w/ all my memories and I don´t want child soldier trauma thanks also I'm all in with crazy backstories so maybe I'm like a princess but i don't know this and also when I found out I'm so not gonna let it change me lmao i'm really like dEsIrEd rEaLiTy with this one uh. Also, nobody dies, like friend and foe alike I got no time for murderous bullshit, I just want to shift a few weeks before the groups are form and in the meantime just hangout, train and cause some trouble. also i might or might not be in complete love with lee and shikamaru i'm really reminding myself that i'm letting all be in the hands of the universe I don't want to chose things before hand u know but its hard i've been reading fluffy fanfiction i need a hug

AVATAR DR

I'm sure this is not a surprise, and I feel like it explains itself. It's my favorite show since I'm a kid of course I'm meeting this people and traveling the world in FLUFFY AND ADORABLE F L Y I N G APPA BABY? yes pls i want it now thxs.

Definitely a water bender, I want to learn how to heal and maybe blood bending? sorry I just think it'll come in handy Also I want the show plot, so everybody is like 20, and I want more of a slow vibe? so the 3 seasons are going to be way more than just 3 months, but I don't know exactly how much. I just don't wanna be in a hurry lol

Also, I'm thinking of making a DR where I am the avatar? is that too egocentric? lol I'm just thinking about it, who knows.

BATMAN DR

Not The Batman, just Batman. Kinda general comic knowledge DR. I want so bad to be part of the batfamily also wear a cape and have cool tools. Yes, I want all that.

Of course, I would shit my pants if I ever see the joker. But idk I feel like if I want to be a superheroe I also want Batman to be there as a mentor idk I also love this dramatic emo bat dressing men since I was a kid so maybe I'm working on some daddy issues with this one? lol no one can judge me

Safety measures: death in this line of work is so rare, for real, I'm taking no chances. Although I don't know the extent in which I can get away with this. I mean, shifting is limitless, or at least that's what I think. I just don't want people to get hurt in any reality am in, and specially I don't want to hurt people willingly or not.

Also, I want to have powers. I know it doesn't really go with batman, but I want everything lmao. I'm also getting rid of my backstory. I'll just be some kid in gotham, trying to have a life in this shithole city when oh wow it's that batman? no way, that's crazy! wait, what's that, batman? you think I'll be a good sidekick? stop, you're gonna make me blu-yes, am in. let's fucking go pls.

WINX DR.

WHY IS NOBODY SHIFTING TO CLUB WINX. Gorgeous, gorgeous girls want to be a part of a beautiful and strong group of friends that will literally go to the end of the universe for each other and spend their days in their magical fairy castle learning magic and how specifically it manifests to each of them and have gorgeous, gorgeous outfits made of magic and a dance sequence in the middle of the air to fight some emo punk witches until we all became friends in a soul touching enemies to friends to lovers trope kinda DR haha

Safety measures: my outfits are drop-dead gorgeous. If I fell in love with some girl flora im literally looking at you don't dare to break my heart it's already yours they also fell for me I KNOW THAT I'M LEAVING THIS THINGS TO THE UNIVERSE BUT ALSO CAN'T TAKE ANYCHANCES OKEY also I don't mine whatever type of fairy I would be I just want to be able to use magic for anything? like it has to be something that would be useful in battle but also day to day shananigans, but I want it to be surprise.

[lonicompound]

obey me sinblings as volleyball players

i saw this and ive been sitting on the idea for like a while now so might as well get my thoughts out now. check out all of @obaby-obeyme‘s comics theyre so good snsnsfks

Lucifer (S)

perma stressed in practice, not only does he have to juggle his regular work, he has to wrangle all his brothers and keep the order to make sure that it goes smoothly. without everyone goofing off.

i mean,,, coordinating the attacks is a setter’s job. and they get to touch the ball a lot. do u think lucifer would take sets from anyone else? no i think not.

also a really strong server. loud, high velocity, and a nasty spin that makes it go straight to the ground. 

ull never see this man dive after the ball hes the setter yknow so he trusts his team to bring the ball to him with a smooth pass.

ok wait maybe he might trust satan to handle attacks but not always.

there was a game where the opponents had super analyzed lucifer’s strategy and would keep shutting down his sets, while beel was doin p good he didn’t want to overexert him and he started rushing his sets

satan wasn’t having any of it and called lucifer out on it. said that they needed to switch it up.

and boy was the opponent in for a new kind of hell. when you put this boy on the offense-

he’s daring you to try and block him. but face it, you Can’t. this boy is a Monster.

Mammon (L)

uhhh was abt to put him as mb, and go on some spiel where lucifer sets to him a lot bcs mammon has the speed to keep up w his tosses

but thinking abt it more,,, having him as libero makes sense. bcs hes the shortest–*mcshot*

got the best fuggin control. those receives *chefs kiss* perfection. the arc, the parabola HGNNN.

has the speed and agility to go after really far out balls and save them with his leg/foot. has definitely jumped into the crowd/over a barrier for a receive multiple timess.

hes the guy who gets ragged on the most during practices (bcs lucifer wants perfect a-receives like wth lucifer you’ve got like 5 other receivers--) but he also hypes up everyone when team spirit’s are down during a game.

Leviathan (MB)

super analytical of his opponents, can quickly pinpoint weak spots in their defense.

doesn’t get fooled by time delay attacks or pipes.

hes more quiet and sometimes forgets to communicate when hes focusing really hard on the match.

he’s that kind of blocker who makes you feel like you can only spike a certain way in order to not get caught by the block

imagine you’re avoiding his block so you go for a cross court spike but you just spiked it right to mammon. oof.

but he does get p tilted when hes not performing at his best or when he gets tooled (his biggest pet peeve as a blocker because that’s not fair the blockers are there to stop the ball from crossing the net but no apparently you can also use the blockers as a way to score points thats plain unfair.) and can sometimes beat himself up p badly. his bros are there to snap him out of it and focus on the game.

Satan (MB)

during practice (and even during some games) he likes to experiment with different lineups and switch up player positions. as a result hes got p rounded out skills.

i mean,,, it just kinda makes sense. he seems like the kind of player who could easily deduce where the ball’s going to go. the one who times the three-man blocks.

bro he does not hold back at all when he spikes. even if he’ll be blocked. he will try to spike through. and the scary thing is,,, the more worked up he is, the harder his spikes get.

for the most part tho p solid all around, sometimes even sets (when lucifer’s in a bad spot see above) 

that cheeky mb who’d make scathing remarks to the other team if they make rudimentary mistakes. things like calling their blocks a sieve stuff like that.

if u somehow manage to piss him off during a game good luck his spikes are now 10x harder rip to your arms.

Asmodeus (WS)

during practices hes the type of player who would do a spin and a twirl right before serving the ball. does it during practices, has done it during actual matches. 

has a fanclub and they show up during practices and theyre so fuggin noisy--- but he revels in the attention

theres a certain flair and grace in his movements that you just cant help but get drawn in. but oop- dont get distracted bcs oop he was just a decoy and you just look like a fool now.

he doesn’t hit as hard when he spikes. but,,,BUT,,,he tools the blockers. he aims for the sides of their arms to get the ball sucked in or the edges of their fingers to get a wipe and it’s literally so fucking annoying ngghghrh

sometimes, when he’s doing two-man or three-man blocks, he knows he gets targeted as the shorter blocker, so he makes sure to switch with someone taller right at the last second.

also joins satan in playing mind games with the opposing blockers. he’ll act all charming and friendly at first, and then he’ll start roasting their form. but then other times he chats up the opposing players and tries to get their number. 

Beelzebub (WS)

sometimes, when they go on runs, he breaks away from the group w belphie to go stop by somewhere to eat. now lucifer makes them run in the front of the group to keep an eye on them.

strong side hitter. that’s it. he’s their ace.

no block can stop him. lucifer’s strong, but beel has raw brute force thats just a bit stronger

good luck trying to. but you’re just gonna get your arm ripped off.

also a really strong server but doesn’t have as much control as lucifer does.

even in the back, his backrow spikes are still super fucking strong good luck to the opponents.

whenever hes up to serve, he reminds everyone to watch their heads. (mammon didn’t listen and went down one time during a practice game now he makes sure to steer clear of the ball’s path when beel’s up to serve.)

Belphegor (WS)

during practice, you’re hardly ever going to get him to do more than the bare minimum. 

so you know kunimi from haikyuu? that’s exactly his playstyle.

minimal movement, no wasted energy. until the latter half of the game.

oh man, again? he’s going for a third spike a-fucking-gain?

lowkey makes you wanna drop the ball just so this dam rally ends quickly

also does a lot of cheeky dinks over blocks before slamming the ball down and catching the receiver offguard.

[lailarain]

Warning: Spoilers for Danganronpa: The End of Hope's Peak High School:Despair Arc

(I'm watching for the first time)

We're back at it again, guys!

Also, yes, I've realized that I porbably should've watched Danganronpa 2.5 first, but I'll do that after Despair Arc

Episode 1:

Oh it's ponytail teacher lady🙂

NEW INTRO YEAH BABY

POTHEAD GUY I MISSED YOUUUU

FUYUHIKO, SONIA, MAHIRU, AND HIYOKO THE NOSTALGIAAAAAA

I'm only a few minutes in and I'm already dying of laughter from the dialogue😭

MIKAN I MISSED YOU

This ponytail teacher lady, istg😂😂😂😂😂

THE TEACHER HAS A BLADE WHY DOES THE TEACHER HAVE A BLADE

Okay where is Nagito he's the only reason I'm watching this🙄

"oH goD jUrAsSiC pArK"

IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?

NEKOMARUUUU

Isn't that that one pervy chef?

Teruteru, that's pretty gay😀

AKANE HELLOOOOO

Soda the simp has arrived

GUNDHAM YES I MISS YOU SO MUCH😭😭😭😭

IBUKI MY GIRL

PEKO WHY'D YOU HAVE TO DIE I MISSED YOUUUU

NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO YES

NAGITO'S LAUGH🥺🥺🥺

I fear this teacher😀

Wait....Mitirai...and the Ultimate Imposter......what the fuck is going on

HAJIME IS THAT YOU, MY BELOVED NON-SHAPE-KNOWING BOI

Awwwww he's hurt by what people say🥺

CHIAKI I MISSED YOU

Hajime, you DO have a talent. You're the Ultimate Nagito Magnet

Man, I'm probably not gonna get to see Hajime on screen a lot in this anime😔

Hey blonde bitch how ya doin

Okay we've officially seen the gang! Time for episode 2!

Episode 2:

"They're all good eggs" tell that to killing game nagito lol

Why the fuck are those two always fighting😭

"I'll have you know that we are training in real life combat conditions" "Oh in that case, knock yourself out"

This is why you don't take random glowing bottles from pervert chefs, kids.

NAGITOS JUST SITTING THERE SMILING LMAOOOOOOOO

Hajime looks so uncomfortable that a teacher is trying to have a casual conversation with him😂

Oh are they talking about the Kamakura project?

Gundam playing video games makes me so happy and idk why maybe because I love how dramatic he is lol

You ever like someone so much that when they do something as simple as speak you start freaking out at how awesome they are? Yea that's how I feel about Nagito.

ARE THEY PLAYING MARIO KART?!?!?!

why is the school rumbling GUNDHAM WHAT DID YOU DO

Nagito crying over the food lmaooooo

What did Akane sayyyy😀

NO ONE TOLD ME THIS WAS A HENTAI

WHAT THE FAWK IS GOING ON

Props to Fuyuhiko for being a man and stopping Kazuichi

Istg whatever they pay these voice actors clearly isn't enough

MIKAN WHAT DID YOU SAYYYYY NO ONEE TOLD ME YOU WERE A LESBIAN

I don't even know what to say about Nagito😳

CHIAKI JUST FUCKIN PUNCHED HIM

"I regret nothing"

Nagito's so wholesomely making everyone uncomfortable🥺

Chiaki and Hajime's relationship is soooo wholesome🥰

Episode 3:

Hajime has literally solved the murders of his friends 5 times, and he calls himself average🤨

Why are all the other Reserve Course students blue?

Wait isn't that blondie Fuyuhiko's sister?

Hajime being in the middle of these random girls fighting be like 👁👄👁

Okay I'm kinda scared to ship the green hair girl and Mahiru because they might be siblings

Hard to believe that this girl is my baby boi's sister. At least Fuyuhiko has the dignity to not randomly bully a girl for no reason

Okay I hope the FBI doesn't come to my door if these two are siblings but MAHIRU I SAW YOU BLUSH GIRL I SHIP IT

Thank god fuyuhiko understands that his sister is crazy

Hajime and Chiaki gaming together is so cute🥰

I hope Chiaki didn't just accidentally convince Hajime to do the Kamakura Project😀

The blonde just called her lovesick for Mahiru...I think we got non-related lesbians on our hands

Wait.....THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED IN TWILIGHT SYNDROME MURDER CASE WHAT THE FUCK

Okay I'm kinda starting to feel bad for the blondie

GREEN HAIRED GIRL KILLED HER HOLY FUCK THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY

Wait...if the green-haired girl didn't kill her...then who did?

Woah....why is the green-haired girl acting like that🤨

WAIT GREEN HAIR GIRL IS DEAD WHAT

Is this really how people normally treat Reserve Course Students? The discrimination is so unfair.

HOW DARE THIS BASTARD TOUCH MY PRECIOUS HAJIME😤

Oh so they're on a mission

Omfg Hajime don't you DARE think you're nothing and agree to be a lab rat I swear

FUCK NO HE AGREED

I am so close to crying rn😀

How's Chiaki gonna react to this😔

Episode 4:

Chiaki is sad aww🥺

Okay Nagito looking serious is NEVER a good sign

SHIT NAGITO FROWNED THAT'S NOT GOOD

Komaeda is so polite😌

Nagito.....what is Plan B😀

WHITE-HAIRED GIRL HOW YOU DOIN😁

Oh its other blonde boy and peach-haired bitch

WELL CLEARLY NAGITO'S LUCK AIN'T SHIT

HOLY SHIT NO😭

WAIT NAGITO SET UP FUCKIN BOMBS?!?! Man, I love my chaotic boi🥰

THEY SWITCHED BAGS TOO?!?!?

This is gonna be a huge shit show, isn't it?

POOR WHITE-HAIR GIRL SHE'S COMPLETELY INNOCENT😭😭😭

What the fawk😀

HOW IS HE SO CALM, JUST LIKE "I don't think that was a laxative😕"

NAGITO'S JUST TALKING BOUT HOW UNLUCKY HE IS WHILE ALL THIS SHIT IS GOING DOWN LMAOOO

WAIT SHE JUST SLAPPED HIM

YES TEACHER LADY YOU TELL HIM HOW FUCKIN AWESOME HE IS

Yay Komaeda won't get expelled😊

WAIT NO DON'T TRANSFER HER I LOVE HER NOOOOO

Uh yeah he did it all for yall 'cause he's fuckin nagito komaeda🤨

WAIT SHE'S GONNA COME BACK?!?!?! HOLY SHIT YES

Episode 5:

Poor Mitirai🥺

yeah, see? This is why I relate to Mitirai. ANIMATION IS FUCKIN MAGICAL.

Thank GOD. I thought we were gonna have to watch the teacher lady suffer😅

Okay I know this is pretty off topic, but where the fuck is Hajime

Of course as soon as I ask that question, they start talking about the Kamakura project😅

Expelled? Bullshit.

Wait NO I WANNA SEE MORE NAGITO🥺🥺🥺

WAIT THOSE ARE THE CHARACTERS FROM THE FIRST GAME

Awww they're so happy to see her how wholesome🥺

"You perfect cinnamon roll" MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

SAIONGI WENT THROUGH A GROWTH SPURT HOLY FUCK

Wait Mitirai and......Mitirai? So he IS the ultimate imposter.

"People flake out and let you down, but carbs are always there" - Mitirai. Truer words have never been spoken😢

IT'S JUNKO FUCKIN ENOSHIMA BABY

Right, the killing game hasn't happened yet, so both Mukuro and Junko are alive and well

So, are the ultimate imposter and mitirai sibings?

Mitirai no don't overwork yourself🥺

Did he just....say "I need you"....pick her up.....and give no other context?😀

Poor Mitirai

WAIT MIKAN NO IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF MOVIE

MAKOTO MY BOY I MISSED YOU

HAJIME IS THAT YOU? YOU LOOK TERRIBLE

Wait...HAJIME NO

HAJIME DON'T YOU DARE

WHAT ABOUT CHIAKI?!?!?!

HAJIME'S EYES ARE RED NOOOOOOO

I'm gonna miss good old Hajime😔

Episode 6:

HAJIME NO TALENTLESS PEOPLE ARE STILL PEOPLE

WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING THIS TO AN INNOCENT HIGH SCHOOLER

It's......Izuru Kamakura😔

Hajime no🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Awww Chiaki misses him

Wait why didn't the teacher just lie and say that Hajime was expelled🤨

I am so close to crying rn😀

Ponytail teacher lady is gonna realize the heartbreaking truth about Hajime, isn't she?😔

Awwww buff guy🥺

That is the weirdest tourture I've ever seen

The sad thing is she doesn't even know that it was Hajime who was made the victim to the project.

Wait why is Kamakura there what's going on

"KAMAKURA KAMAKURA YAS Q U E E N."

CAN MUKURO STOP LETTING JUNKO MAKE FUN OF HER LIKE BITCH YOU ARE AWESOME

Ikuru literally the entire time Junko is talking is basically just: 😑

WAIT HE AGREES WITH JUNKO NO

wait....MITIRAI IS GONNA MEET JUNKO FUCK NO

FUCK NOOOOOO

Okay we're officially halfway through, and I'm super pissed that Nagito is god knows where because he's the ONLY reason I'm watching this

Episode 7:

MITIRAI STOP TALKING TO HER RUN ASAP AHHHHHHHHH

Junko does realize that she basically just triggered every single fan of Danganronpa, right🤨

"aWw lOoK aT hiM trEmBLe hE'S goNnA bUrsT a blOoD veSsEL bEcAuSe I jUsT diSseD hiS wAifUS"

WAIT JUNKO NO DON'T SMILE LIKE THAT

THEY THINK HE'S DEAD LMAOOOOO

NAGITO YES FINALLY

NAGITO WTF PUT SOME CLOTHES ON

Wait so is that the crash site of the what killed his parents🥺

Kazuchi, Teruteru, stop being pervs and shut up please🥰

GUNDHAM YES WE STAN

MITIRAI IS MISSING NO

Istg if they lay a hand on Mikan they bouta lose a hand😀

Poor buff guy🥺

SHIT NO THEY'RE GONNA BRAINWASH HER

Junko's eyes really went ⬆️↗️➡️↘️⬇️↙️⬅️

Wait who tf are these people🤨

Junko what is it with you and killing games😀

Wait she's actually really good at singing😯

Can we get an f in the chat for these poor students

IZURU WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO

THEY'RE SWEEPING IT UNDER THE RUG AGAIN?!?!?!?

So that was his promise😔

It's the cool moving comic thing from the games😯

The Reserve Course students are NOT happy😀

Poor Chiaki still misses him😔

Imagine if she knew HE was the killer

Episode 8:

(So some of my notes were deleted and when I rewrote them they got deleted twice. So I'm just gonna go where I left off.)

NAGITO YES MY BOY I MISSED YOUUUUU

"Who are you" lol

At least CHIAKI is nice to Nagito

YES NAGITO YOU LIFE-SAVER😤

Talk about what🤨

WHY ARE THEY TREATING THESE STUDENTS TO "KNOW THEIR PLACE" ISTG

Okay Nagito what is it with your luck

"Oh we found a secret passage cool😶"

POOR MITIRAI

WAIT NAGITO KNEW?!?!?!?

NAGITO HAS A FUCKIN GUN I REPEAT NAGITO HAS A GUN WHY DOES HE HAVE A GUN

OKAY WHY DOES NAGITO SOUND SO THREATENING ALL OF A SUDDEN

Okay am I crazy or was that interaction between izuru and nagito just now pretty gay?

NAGITO HOLY FUCK NO

OH THANK THE LORD

NAGITO THIS IS NO TIME TO BE A SIMP FOR IZURU

Episode 9:

That....is Hinata😔

WAIT NO DON'T YOU DARE HYPNOTIZE CHIAKI

Teacher lady is gonna be hypnotized, isn't she😖😞

OKAY JUNKO THIS IS TOO FAR

Wait is Mikan pretending?

Poor Guy😢

YEAH LISTEN TO NAGITO

I mean, I don't wanna abandon the teacher but it's already too late

WAIT IS THAT WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE?!?!?

It's so sad to know that they're just running into destruction😔

NO POOR TEACHER LADY

STOP IT RIGHT NOW

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

NOOOOOOOOOOO

You're already too late😞

WAIT WHY ARE THEY BEING SO VIOLENT

Poor Mitirai, man🥺

WAIT NO JUNKO YOU WOULDN'T

Junko STOP LEAVE HIM ALONE

You're in deep shit, Junko

WAIT NO DON'T DIE MITIRAI

Oh thank god😅

Mitirai😭

Poor Nagito too

WAIT MIKAN WHY

NO THE TEACHER IS DEFINITELY HYPNOTIZED NOPE

Episode 10:

Something's wrong....

Chiaki, don't be fooled

Wait is he actually gay tho

Okay Junko please SHUT THE FUCK UP🥰

This isn't gonna go well, is it?

CHIAKI NO

JUNKO DON'T YOU LAY A HAND ON HER

Wait why are they in a trial room

WAIT NAGITO WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN THEM BEFORE

CHIAKI NO

(Won't let me type anymore. Continue post here)

[hackedmotionsensors]

Hey I feel like you’ve already answered this but what are some of your favorite iron man or Captain America comics and why? What story lines would you recommend? I’m curious about the more modern stuff. What’s some of your fav comic artists when it comes to marvel?

OKAY SO. 

holy shit this got long so UNDER THE READ MORE WE GO

This is always kind of a hard question to answer because I personally have not read everything in regards to either Iron man or Captain America. I’ve read the Tales of Suspense stories a lot because I keep trying to start over from the very beginning. And that’s not always helpful if you just wanna dip your toes or give Iron Man/Cap a go.

So what I CAN tell you is here’s what I did when I was first getting into comics around 2012.

I went to Borders/Barnes and Noble and a I read a bunch of the compilations they had in the store. Someone has already done the work FOR you so its really easy to just pick up a book and read from there. 

I started out with Invincible Iron Man  (I’m gonna link to Amazon but I suggest not buying from them because Bezos is a demon [comixology is owned by amazon as well but it is a convenient app]) 

Marvel has its own comics app but if you also read and pay for other comics its not ideal. There are places to “read comic books online” and for older stuff I definitely do this now but for newer comics I’ll try to pay for them especially if its indie. Support indie comics!!! 

Anyway. Invincible Iron Man. A polarizing story in terms of Iron Man lore. But its definitely an easy one to get into and read especially if you’re coming in from MCU and are just testing things. You don’t necessarily need to know all of his history but it covers the basics. 

Next I’d try Demon in a Bottle It’s the original alcoholism arc. A must read for general Tony’s lore. This isn’t the one where he ends up a hobo on the street where Cap helps him escape from a burning building. But this is where he goes off the rails the first time. Bethany Cabe is his current girlfriend and tries to help him. And he kind of recovers. I’m not sure this is exactly a FAVORITE but it has a lot of the important shit for Tony. His temper is something that doesn’t get talked a lot about I think but he DEFINITELY has one. The art is very..........lol its not BAD per say but its also not like wow what gorgeous art. 

Another important Tony lore is Armor Wars So you wanna read the first few times Tony and Steve fight about REAL SHIT. This is it. This is the classic story where he realizes his tech is being used by bad guys and HE’S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN STOP THEM NO CAP NOT EVEN YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE A GOOD GUY AND I MIGHT HAVE TO GET DIRTY. It has the classic Steve sitting in a dark room waiting for Tony to come back with his date and then throwing his shield at Tony going “I don’t want your trash”

It also has a lot of good Tony being in a morally grey area. *chef’s kiss* 

And then basically read all the fun stuff with Kurt Busiek in Vol 3 (This isn’t an amazon link but the marvel database so you know roughly where to start) 

VOLUME THREE HAS SUCH HITS LIKE

The Sentient Armor: Tony accidentally kills Whiplash in a lightning storm. The Armor comes to life. The armor falls in love with Tony and WANTS TO BECOME ONE WITH TONY. Tony does not want this. Tony is beat up and kidnapped and taken by the armor to a deserted island. The Armor is like Tony I love you so much GET IN ME NOW. Tony is about to die from a heart attack. The armor RIPS ITS HEART OUT AND SHOVES IT INTO TONY. Bye Tony I love you now we’re one forever. RIP

Tiberius Stone’s 2 arcs (they’re not in consecutive order but they’re both hella gay): Tony’s old boarding school friend shows up again and is a TV mogul and is DEFINITELY NOT Slandering Tony in the press or blowing up his buildings or framing him for MURDER oh my god Tiberius is a pain in the ass and we definitely boned down as teenagers but he would never frame me for MURDER but his TV devices that seep into your brain like the boob tube thing from Batman Forever are pretty suspicious. Oh no Tiberius IS a bad guy and he got me naked (why?) and hooked the both of us up to the TV machine and now we’re trapped in his horny tv dream why am I dressed like Alice in Wonderland???  ALSO HE SLEPT WITH MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!??

(This is why I will FOREVER get upset that Killian in Iron Man 3 isn’t Tiberius Stone. He IS LITERALLY FOLLOWING THE TIBERIUS STONE PLAYBOOK INCLUDING THE PHYSICAL LOOK WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE FEIGE YOU OWE ME MONEY!!!!)

Also at the beginning of Vol 3. Tony gets the absolute holy hell bejesus shit beat out of him. And that lasts for a WHILE and seeps into the Avengers Vol 3 (which you should also read its fun and I like that George Perez actually tries to make people look ethnically diverse but also you can tell Clint from Cap)

There’s also a part in vol 3 where Monica from FRIENDS shows up at a party and that’s a wild thing that happened.

But basically I think you can start just about anywhere with Iron Man and have a good time if you’re a deep Tony fan. He has a lot of great stories and its why he’s my favorite. Even this last run with Slott I still KIND OF LIKE ANYWAY??? bc its Tony. Its not always written to what a lot of long standing Iron Man fans would say is canon but I mean.....he’s got 57 years worth of comics behind him so he’s bound to change here and there. He was once a super villain, died, brought over as a teenager from an alternate timeline, and then merged with another Tony I forget the details but its silly lol

Side universe reading Iron Man Noir, Ultimates (Hickman’s run is very fun but also Ultimates 1 and 2. DO NOT READ ULTIMATUM IT IS GROSS, I HAVE READ IT FOR YOU ALMOST EVERYONE DIES ITS GROSS.

Ultimates is literally half of the basis for the MCU. Don’t read Ultimates Iron Man tho. Not only is it written by a creep its also extremely stupid and doesn’t even really make sense in terms of what happens later in Ultimates. It basically gets RetConned immediately.

Also Ultimates universe has Gregory Stark. Tony’s fun evil twin brother who for some reason is blonde. I can’t really give you a specific story to read with Ultimates because its the most god awful confusing universe to try and find stories from so I literally don’t even remember. I’d check an Ultimates fan blog for that.

AS FOR CAPTAIN AMERICA.

I love Steve Rogers. I really do. I think he’s a fun character. B U T. His comics for me can be very boring. He has some great arcs as someone who is supposed to be a representation of what a GOOD AMERICA can aspire to or whatever. But America often times SUCKS A LOT (our current times being very obvious). Cap definitely fights for what he believes and so that’s why he often takes off the garb of Captain America and runs around in a slutty v neck and a cape as Nomad. Or when he comes back from the dead and his BFF is the new Cap (WITHA  KNIFE) and wears the sexy Secret Avengers uniform. Very sexy. We stan the Colonel Rogers uniform very much. But his early comics are a lot of “OH MY GOD I KILLED BUCKY ITS ALL MY FAULT BUCKY!!!!! RICK JONES PUT ON BUCKYS CLOTHES THIS ISNT CREEPY I PROMISE”

A GREAT run in Avengers is the Cap’s Kooky Quartet or as I call Cap Joins the Baby Sitters Club. This goes WAYYYYYY back to Avengers 17 

It runs for a very good while before Giant-man and Wasp come back because Giant Man can’t shrink back down lmfao idiot. But its a lot of fun and establishes Cap as being a really good leader even tho he’s thrown into the hot seat because he was out on a mission and everyone else was like “We’re taking a vacay bye Cap. Good luck with the kids” *John Mulaney doing Andy Cohen impression* HUH WHAT WHY

I have no idea what to Rec really lol I know @sineala is part of a SteveTony 616 discord and they do readings every month(?) of either very SteveTony based arcs or specifically Steve or Tony arcs. But I think they have a better grasp of Steve stories than I do.

I would say most recently the run with Mark Waid and Chris Samnee as the artist is a VERY good read. The story is pretty nice and dry lol but the art. Holy shit.

I know there are a bunch of artists that really REALLY get Cap but Chris Samnee is probably my number one favorite Cap artist. Even his sort of retro style works with Cap SO WELL. And I like Mark Waid’s writing. Or at least I don’t think I’ve ever been really mad at it like with Dan Slott or Gillen (We will never forgive for what he did to Tony’s backstory and taking Maria from him) lol

Uh...but as far as I could tell the entire run where Bernie is his girlfriend is VERY good. She first shows up in Captain America 247 . Cap is an illustrator on the side (or as his main job) and man what a dope. His art habits are worse than mine like get a desk Steve. But this arc through Bernie goes through a lot of Steve being kind of stuck in the past and not knowing how to embrace the modern or future and Bernie is there being the coolest fucking chick in the world who’s studying to be a lawyer, watches Wrestling, listens to Bruce Springsteen (I think lol I forget), dunks on Cap for being a weirdo old dude. Very put together woman of the 80s. She proposes to Cap and because I think the writers changed he’s like I HAVE TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY BYE. 

This isn’t on any of the main timelines but its a good read Captain America Man Out Of Time. Basically Cap coming to grips with the future and realizing the past sucked ew. lol Also he listens to Radiohead which Tony gives him a personal concert for because of course he does.

And then of course there’s this fucking TOME of a story Captain America: The Winter Soldier .

Im gonna sound a little negative but I don’t mean it against anyone’s favorite but I have the most exhausting time trying to read this story. I’ve tried at least three times lol. I think maybe Brubaker’s weird obsession with the Cold War (Remember when he called people who were yelling at Slott for being a creep a ‘Bunch of Commies’) is just so fucking heavy handed that I can’t personally get through it. I would much rather watch the movie.

HOWEVER. There’s good old Bucky coming back from the dead. Natasha. Sam Wilson. Sharon Carter. All big players in this story. So uh lol good luck with this one. If you’re also a Bucky fan this is a must read but as I only peripherally like Bucky I don’t care to read this one. 

So I’d check out this arc.

Also a personal fave of mine is 

It starts here on Captain America 402 . Its the best story IN THE WORLD. ITS SO ICONIC. NOTHING CAN COMPETE. I LOVE CAPWOLF SO MUCH lol

[britishassistant]

But I Like One Piece (12)

There’s too many tripwires, tangled and snarled, waiting to ensnare them with every movement.

Uchiha’s clearly had practice navigating this web, stepping sure-footed from one indistinguishable “safe” area to the next.

The rest of them aren’t nearly as experienced.

Kiba hops into the “safe” zone Shikamaru just vacated. He stumbles forward an inch too far.

A wire twangs.

It feels like slow motion, watching the wire pull on another and that tug another, all the way to an abandoned kimono shop filled with piles of abandoned knives, kunai, and shuriken, which Hinata’s frozen in front of.

Pwack.

The last wire drifts harmlessly to the ground from where it snapped under the stress, the detonator left unactivated.

She heaves out a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding, bracing her hands on her suddenly weak knees.

“Uh...whoops?” Kiba says, scratching the back of his head. He then yelps when Akamaru begins gnawing on his hand with his sharp little teeth as everyone complains at him at once.

“Be more careful, dog breath!!” Ino screeches, shaking a fist. “Don’t you know how bad it could’ve been if—”

Chouji shifts backwards, away from Ino’s yelling.

A wire twangs.

This one doesn’t snap harmlessly.

She doesn’t quite remember moving. She just sees Chouji’s scared face, staring in dismay at the projectiles racing towards him as the boom resonates in her bones.

She grabs him, twists his head down and away, trying to cover as much of him as she can, feels another arm grab her dress—

Pain burns across her shoulder blades.

She can’t quite bite down on her scream.

It hurts, it hurts, oh dear Merry, it hurts!!

She tries to keep herself standing despite how much she wants to collapse into a little ball and sob, telling herself she’s had worse than this, it isn’t that bad, she was shot in her last life for the love of Sunny.

The way her back burns like it’s been set aflame is a pretty good counterargument to that though.

She blinks hazily down at Chouji who, aside from looking like he’s going to cry, seems to be unharmed.

Good. That’s good.

But she seems to have shifted sideways from her original position—?

The grip on her dress loosens.

Ino tilts forwards, whimpering, several needle-like projectiles embedded in her lower back, wet blood beginning to spread across the yellow of her shirt.

Chouji’s face grows even paler as she lands on his shoulder and begins to slant towards the ground.

She grabs the blonde girl by the shoulder and pulls her up to lean against her shoulder, gritting her teeth against the flare of pain the increase in weight brings.

“INO-CHAN!!” Sakura screams, sounding more scared than she’s ever heard her.

“Haruno, don’t move.” Shino barks, the buzz of his insects audible even from their position. “Why? Because another explosion could endanger their lives beyond any hope of rescue.”

Sakura stops short, eyes wide and watery, staring at their little trio like that could somehow transport her to them.

“I-I’m fiii–iiiine!” Ino blubbers against her neck, hands alternately tightening and loosening on her and Chouji’s clothes. “Don’ w-worry, a-a-a Yama-ma-n’ka d-does-doesn’t—”

Her sentence devolves into a pained wail, shoulders hitching with sobs.

She tries rubbing small circles into the crying blonde’s upper back to soothe her, tearing her gaze away from the dripping red shirt to stare up at the ruin of a grocery store that now resembles a structurally unstable pincushion.

“Ino...” Chouji says, voice trembling dangerously. “Mayu-chan...I-I’m so-sorry—”

“S’not your fault, Chouj.” She weakly tries to smile. “Not letting you get hurt.”

“Y-yeah.” Ino sniffles. “We’re go-gonna be Ino-Shika-Cho. ‘S my job t-to keep you-you numbskulls safe.”

Chouji’s eyes take on a watery shine, and he begins hiccuping dangerously.

Oh Chopper, no. A crying Ino, she can manage, but if Chouji joins in there’s no way she’ll be able to hold back the waterworks herself.

With her luck, they’ll end up setting off another tripwire and dying because their vision was impaired by tears.

Shikamaru lets out a huff, posture tense. “Stop being so troublesome. Chouji, are you hurt?”

“I-I’m fine!” He calls back, sniffing loudly and scrubbing at his eyes.

“Think you can carry Ino?” Shikamaru shouts.

Chouji nods, determined. He shuffles around very carefully, eyes fixed on the wires still surrounding them, until she can carefully maneuver Ino off her shoulder and onto his back in a piggyback carry.

Ino whimpers as the position change shifts the needles in her back.

“Do I go forward or back?” Chouji calls.

“Go back!” Kiba yells. “Blondie and Dead-Fish-Eyes need a doctor!!”

She cranes her head to look over her shoulder instead of physically turning.

It’s an awfully long way to the door of the compound.

And, aside from the spot where Lee’s standing, she has no idea where any of the past “safe zones” are.

“How can we?” She shouts. “There’s nothing to mark the path back!”

There’s a slightly horrified silence.

“Well fuck.” Kiba says. Then, “Don’t tell my Ma I said that.”

“M-maybe Sasuke-kun could go back to show the way?” Sakura suggests.

“What, and knock the rest of us into his death-trap?” Shikamaru sneers. “No thanks.”

Uchiha puffs up in indignation. “It’s not my fault!! I told you not to mess around if you didn’t wanna die! This is designed to stop that man, so if you’re too fat and dumb—”

“If Uchiha Itachi was half the ninja everybody said he was, he’ll know how to walk up walls and use roofs to avoid ground obstacles.” Shikamaru cuts in coldly. “So all this is pointless effort.”

Uchiha’s mouth works soundlessly, cheeks flushing a bright red as the other boy mercilessly continues, “Plus the junk on your compound walls are just cheap substitutes for real siege defenses, so any genin who can climb a tree could slip between the gaps.”

Ouch. She almost wants to wince in sympathy.

Uchiha’s face goes a deep, angry crimson, and he bristles like he’s seconds away from launching himself at Shikamaru, death trap between them or no, while the ponytailed boy is glaring holes through him.

“U-um!” Hinata yells, sticking an arm in the air like she’s being called on in class. “I-Ino-san and Mayu-san really need m-medical attention for their injuries! So-so w-we should focus on this first! U-Uchiha-san, you have a first aid kit a-at your house, r-right?”

“Obviously.” Uchiha snaps, not taking his eyes off of Shikamaru.

“O-okay, thank you, Uchiha-san.” Hinata fidgets. “Akimichi-san, d-do you think you can get to the next part of the pa-path towards us?”

Chouji scans the web in front of them. “I–I think I can!” He calls back. “I’ll do my best!”

“Go-good!” Hinata nods. “Ma-Mayu-san, do you need any help with your injuries?”

She rolls a shoulder, wincing at the fresh wave of pain. It hurts, but her vision’s not blacking out anymore, so...“I think I’m good, Hinata!”

“...Are you sure?” Hinata asks, doubt coloring her tone.

“As sure as I can be.” She says, pretending that the aching doesn’t make her want to scream.

The pale-eyed girl gives her a little purse-lipped expression of displeasure which really should not be visible given how far away she is, but is somehow.

“Worry not, Hinata-san!” Lee calls from behind her. “I will ensure Mayu-chan’s safety as we navigate!”

“O-okay then, I leave it to you, Lee-san!” Hinata replies.

She almost feels insulted. What, she can’t be trusted to look after herself now?

“Uchiha-san.” Hinata asks tentatively, “W-would it be alright with you if we use-used your first aid kit to treat Ino-san and Mayu-san’s i-injuries?”

There’s a silence that stretches on about a minute too long for comfort.

“Sure. Whatever.” Uchiha turns his back on them. “No messing around this time, got it?”

They continue to the main house in silence.

The only noises are Ino’s whimpers and gasps of pain when Chouji lands a little too hard in the next spot. He always murmurs a soft apology and tries not to jostle her too much.

They all breathe a sigh of relief when Uchiha finally opens the front door and crosses the threshold, then turns to help Hinata over the last of the wires so she’s inside as well.

He promptly turns and stalks off into the darkness of the house, leaving her to try to help Shino on her own.

She feels tired to her very bones by the time she finally gets to the door from trying to ignore the fire on her shoulder blades, and it’s a struggle not to sway on her feet as she carefully navigates the last few obstacles.

It’s a comfort to know Lee’s behind her, almost comically alert, when her foot buckles and he immediately grabs her to keep her from toppling.

Between him and Shino, she’s somehow manhandled the last few steps through the door, then hustling her down the corridor to the veranda where Hinata’s sitting with a bowl of steaming water, a bottle of antiseptuc, several piles of torn up clothes and gauze, and Ino lying face down on an old, and now blood-stained towel.

Chouji’s pressing wads of gauze to her back as Sakura pulls the needles out with a pair of tweezers and deposits them to the wide, face pale but determined. Hinata then carefully swabs the wound with steaming water and antiseptic, and presses more gauze down on it.

She thinks she remembers something from her past life saying you shouldn’t pull out things you’ve been stabbed with, but she doesn’t have enough confidence in it to interrupt the delicate operation here.

Despite all the small cries she’s emitting, Ino’s lying still as a statue, one of her hands gripping Shikamaru’s, who is also lying face-down on the floor for some reason.

Uchiha’s just standing in the garden, shoulders tense, resolutely not looking back at them.

She’s lead to another old towel, where Kiba’s waiting nervously with another bowl of steaming water.

Akamaru licks her cheek as she lies down on it, so she lifts a careful hand and scratches him behind the ears.

“So, uh.” Kiba says. “Now what?”

Hinata cranes her head as Sakura begins wrestling with the second to last needle. “U-um, it’d be best if you could get the c-cloth out of the way? So you can clean out the wounds?”

There’s spluttering above her. “B-but she’s a girl! I can’t take a girl’s clothes off! Do you know how bad my Ma would kill me?!”

Oh for the love of Chopper—

She rolls the top of the towel down so she has a little cylinder under her mouth that she can lean down and bite. If she tries to bite her lip for this, it’ll likely go through again, and she does not need that on top of everything else.

Then, as quickly as she can, she yanks the straps of her dress down her shoulders, groaning in pain when tentative scabs are ripped open by the material’s movement. She pulls her arms out of it, and pushes the dress down until it‘s scrunched up around the top of her obi.

Then she thunks her head back down the floor and lets herself go limp and just hurt.

“Don’ ma’e me do tha’ ag’n.” She threatens through the towel in her teeth.

There’s a beat and then Kiba squeaks a shaky “Okay.”

She listens as a cloth is dipped into the bowl of water, biting down harder on the towel and silently praying to Chopper for this to be over quickly as it begins swabbing her shoulders.

She drops into a muzzy semi-doze under the burn of the water and the sting of antiseptic and the stiff press of gauze.

Then Uchiha yelps in a mixture of fear and outrage.

She lifts her head.

“...Lee.” She says, letting the tooth-marked and spit-soaked towel drop from her mouth.

“Yes Mayu-chan?”

“Am I hallucinating from blood loss or is there a nudist on Uchiha’s roof?”

There’s the sound of the camera shutter. Then a whir as it spits out a photograph.

“You aren’t hallucinating Mayu-chan. See?” He helpfully holds the photo of the purple-haired woman wearing nothing but a trench coat and mesh tights in front of her face.

“Thanks Lee.”

The nudist snorts. “That’s not a very respectful way to address your seniors, bratlings. You should be honored that you’re in the presence of the great Anko-onee-sama.”

“We will be, if you put some clothes on.” She replies. Then she glances behind her. “Kiba, if your nosebleed gets on my bandages, I’m telling your mom you swore.”

Kiba swears again, turning to the side and grabbing one of the spare clothes to stem the blood flow, accidentally-on-purpose kneeing her in the ribs in the process.

The nudist cackles, leaping down from the roof. “Well, aren’t you a pathetic bunch, huh? Guessing the big boom earlier was thanks to you brats fooling around?”

“You can’t be here!” Uchiha yells, little hands balled into fists. “This is Uchiha land! You’re trespassing!”

The nudist makes a show of gasping theatrically, hands pressed against her cheeks. “No, really? Well gee, guess I’ll have to��but what’s this?”

She pulls a piece of paper from a pocket of her coat with an unnecessary flourish. “Read it and weep, brat.”

Uchiha snatches the paper, eyes darting over it frantically. “A search warrant?!”

“Issued by Hokage-sama himself.” The nudist says smugly. “For disruption of the peace of Konohagakure.”

Then she straightens up. “Holy shit, is that baby Yamanaka?”

Ino makes an unintelligible sound of pain and suffering.

The nudist strides forward, raising an unimpressed eyebrow at Chouji’s attempts to shield Ino from view. To be fair, she doesn’t exactly need to do much to see over him due to her height advantage.

The nudist whistles. “Well, I knew the Uchiha clan would end with you, kiddo, but I didn’t know I’d witness it today.”

“W-what?” Uchiha’s voice has gone very high and soft. All the blood has drained from his face.

“Yeah, Inochin-chin is gonna kill you when he sees what you let happen to his precious wittle baby girl.” The nudist says blithely.

“But it wasn’t Uchiha-san!” Chouji bursts out. “I was the one who triggered the trap— if Inoichi-oji-san is gonna be mad at someone, it should be me!”

“Chouji, no—” She starts to argue.

She’s cut off by Ino making muffled noises of protest and disagreement from where she’s still face down on the towel.

The nudist raises her other eyebrow, then walks around and delivers a sharp kick to Shikamaru’s side.

He yelps, then curls around the attacked area, groaning. Ino finally pushes herself up with a muttered “oh thank Nami,” indents from the towel’s fibers embedded into her face.

“Maintaining a shadow possession jutsu even while asleep, huh?” The nudist says. “Not bad, baby Nara. You’ve probably burned your chakra pathways to shit, but not bad.”

“Daddy’s not gonna kill anyone!” Ino says staunchly. “Sasuke-kun set up those traps to defend against a traitor to Konoha, and me and Mayu-chan protected Chouji when one happened to go off. It was an accident, honest.”

“Oh sweetie.” The nudist coos. “Every accident has someone to blame for it if you look hard enough. Especially when something as important as the safety of clan heirs and the peace of the village is on the line.”

Uchiha’s gone so pale it looks like he might faint.

The nudist places her hands on her hips. “Now, as the official investigating jounin, I need to assess the threat level of this setup to the village.”

She glances around without moving an inch from where she stands. “It’s shit. It’s only a danger to genin who can’t get their heads out of their asses and civilians, and no one cares about them. Pay some chunin to dismantle it and learn how to make better traps.”

Uchiha doesn’t respond.

He’s just staring at the ground, little fists twisting the fabric of his shirt between them so hard it almost looks like it’ll rip.

“Well, not that this isn’t totally boring.” The nudist says, looking a little put out, “But Inochin-chin will have my head if I don’t get baby Yamanaka actual medical attention. Not that you haven’t been doing a good job, Hyuuga.” She gives Hinata a positively feral grin. “I’m tempted to congratulate Hiashi about his daughter’s skill as a medic nin.”

Hinata blanches, pale eyes wide. “A-ah, no, no than-thank you A-An-Anko-sama.”

The nudist snickers to herself. “Yeah, I figured as much.”

The woman bends down and hoists Ino up under one arm none-too-gently if the way she sucks air in through her teeth is any indication.

“Wait!” Sakura says. “What about Mayu-chan?”

The nudist stops and looks down at her. “What, little miss fashion disaster in the obi and leg warmers?”

“Hey!” She protests, cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

“Our leg warmers are most youthful and fashionable!” Lee argues, pulling up the leg of his trousers to show off the matching orange. “They are a valuable aid in our training as well!”

The nudist looks confused. Then her face slowly takes on an expression of fierce, unholy glee.

“Oh.” She crows with a terrifying amount of delight. “You’re Gai’s kids.”

She chokes on her own saliva. Lee goes even pinker than Sakura’s hair.

“What.” They squeak in unison.

The nudist throws back her head and cackles.

Then the woman scoops her up in a bruising grip that drives the air from her lungs and the sight of her friends goes fuzzy and tilted and warped through the film of swirling leaves.

The leaves stop swirling and they’re somehow outside the Uchiha compound.

Her head’s spinning and her body’s thrumming with the sense of wrong wrong wrong.

She promptly throws up on the nudist’s sandals.

The nudist shrieks like a banshee and flings her away to crash into the dirt, screeching about ungrateful bratlings and Gai paying for cleaning.

Her vision whites out from the pain for a few minutes.

When she can see again, a bigger Shikamaru with scars is looking down at her.

“Chakra is evil.” She tells him. “I hate it.”

He blinks. “Chakra is inherently neutral, regardless of who’s using it. Saying it’s evil is like saying your blood is evil—it doesn’t have a consciousness to comprehend things like that.”

“Yes it does.” She argues. “It just pretends not to. So it can eat the energy from our training and studying. ‘S a parasite. It’s not supposed to be there at all.”

The bigger Shikamaru snorts. “All beings need chakra to live. If you drain the chakra from, say, a tree, the tree dies. There’s nothing alive that doesn’t have chakra flowing through it, no matter how weak.”

She’s about to reply that her past life is proof of that being false, and that the tree dying might be like trying to adjust after having a lifetime of poison pumped into your veins cut off, when another man’s voice calls out, “Shikaku! Pick the poor girl up off the ground before you have a philosophical debate with her!”

The bigger Shikamaru rolls his eyes and mutters “Troublesome.” under his breath, before bending down and scooping her up to sit on his hip.

[cozymochi]

How did Yamcha and Marzi reunite?

Short answer: Yamcha runs into her in a remote jungle thanks to rampaging dinosaurs.

Long answer: 

Okay okay, honestly I never told this story before because I couldn’t think of anything that worked properly ever, and yknow after a good 2ish years of having avoided really getting into that, I suppose now is as good a time as any to tie up this gaping loose end. And I’ll start by copying and pasting an icloud note I found that was written back in 2018 that detailed at least half of it, because at this point- I may as well go with this absurd thing instead of having nothing. Past me went into an outline about some kind of story setup but didn’t get to finish the “payoff” per se, because I suppose I thought I would come back to it and add more details later. BUT GUESS WHO DIDN’T BECAUSE I FORGOT??? SO, bear with me under this read more cut. 

(2018 OUTLINE NOTE)

Once upon a time fortuneteller baba held a day where she was telling peoples fortunes (amongst other shit) for free because she lost some kind of vague bet with Master Roshi. Thousands of people show up, and Yamcha is one of those people (along with pu’ar and yantan whom he dragged along). This occurs nearly 8 years after Yantan was spawned into existence.

Yamcha wants to ask Baba about love shit. Cuz oh boy. That love life still ain’t working out. But hell if he knows where to look maybe he’d have better luck. 

Yantan hates her life cuz waiting in line for like 10 hours is actual hell. But so long as she’s fucking there she might as well ask Baba something. Pu’ar is just along for the ride to make concerned quips. (He has nothing to ask he’s just there for moral support) 

MANY HOURS PASS THEY FINALLY REACH BABA and Baba is rightfully pissed. She could’ve been making a lot of money that day, like, the fuck man. Yamcha asks Baba if he’s destined to meet the girl he’d ultimately end up with. 

Baba just says “looks like you already met her.” And Yamcha is just like WAT And Baba is just like “Yeah. You already did. Don’t think u noticed tho. That’s ur own fault.” 

So at this point yamcha is pretty fuckin shook and asKS WHERE SHE’S AT NOW AND WHERE HE CAN MEET HER. And Baba jus denies answering that question and if he wants to ask more shit he better pay up a hundred million zeni. “NEXT.” 

Out of desperation, Yamcha now begs his cynical child to ask Baba about his own bs. Yantan doesn’t want to. They make some kind of deal that i do not know the details of as of yet that ultimately makes Yantan agree to waste her free question about her future on her wacky father. 

So SHE asks where tf Yamcha can meet this lady and Baba reveals her location. THEN THEY IMMEDIATELY FUCKIN LEAVE TO DO JUST THAT. And by “they” i mean Yamcha leaves and Yantan and Pu’ar have to follow behind. #Comedy

So Yamcha ends up in the general area of where this “person” is. It’s off putting a bit - and by a bit I mean A LOT because it’s a frickin’ jungle full of mega-flora and wild animals everywhere- totally the last place any person would be at all. Yamcha ultimately lets that slide. 

Yamcha suddenly freaks out at the realization that hE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT HE’S GONNA SAY and that he really didn’t think any of this through. What SHOULD even say? That he came all the way here to date this woman and come across some kind of weirdo or creep?? And if he already met this person WHEN DID HE MEET THEM? It could literally be any girl he’s ever met in his life. He doesn’t even know her name so how would he know who the right person is?? Amongst a fuckton of other million miles a minute thoughts. 

(2018 OUTLINE NOTE END)

When it comes to that specific set up prior to the jungle, idk if I still wanna follow it. But It’s something. 

Here comes my end of 2019 “I haven’t thought about this in eons” amendment: 

Leaving off of Yamcha’s panic attack I’m pretty sure he and Marzi run into each other via some kind of dinosaur hijinks. I’m pretty sure if memory serves Marzi was TRYING to feed dinosaurs as she usually does (she’s living her life after all), but for some reason on this day she had a technical failure. THIS would also have to serve as Marzi’s first proper introduction ever, so this event would also have to function as a way of establishing who she is as a character as well. God knows what that would entail.

Which, in this situation, she’d mostly come across as a person whose “eyes emoji” appearance doesn’t line up with being in an untamed jungle decking around with a carnivorous and predatory animal. 

The only reason Yams wouldn’t remember meeting her was because their actual first meeting was more of a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it encounter 30 years ago that wasn’t really relevant to his own memory. (Not even worth getting into here tbh, it’s so brief) So, y’know. Fuck you Baba.

It’s hard to say if Marzi herself would recognize Yamcha right away considering the last time she saw him, Yamcha was soft-faced with short hair and all cutesy 21st tournament looking, which THAT to NOW is quite the jump— but rest assured she does. It’s hard to say what her initial reaction would’ve been in response to suddenly running back into your one-sided high school infatuation after 3 decades of absolute radio silence. My mind always pictured some kind of comical reaction. 

Either way, this shit should happen only after the wacky hijinks, because!!! THAT’S THE KIND OF WORLD THIS IS! I wanted a bizarre action set piece that ends comedically quickly because Yamcha essentially has god powers. (WHICH, YEAH. HE DOES. Especially in comparison to how he was in early DB. By this point this guy went from above-average martial arts protégée to full on superhero) If I still had the energy for DB I would have scribbled a possible visual demonstration but, I really doooon’t jgvhgbkhjj

A wise man made this summarizing prediction really and I think this is the best thing to follow: 

“I sort of figured Marzi ran into him one day after everything kind of settled down and he wasn’t dead or in space or something, and there was an awkward period where she wasn’t sure what to do about him being so accessible. And Yamcha didn’t know her well to begin with, so to him she’s just an eligible bachelorette, and he fusses over how to impress her, because he has no idea that she’s been fascinated with him for decades.” - a wise man, 2019.

So yeah. That. 

[punkscowardschampions]

Tommy & Ali

Chatting ‘bout Christmas, boy troubles, pregnancy AND THE FACT THE BABY IS TOTALLY NOT DREW’S LOLLOLLOL

Tommy: Oi! 😼 What you gettin da cos like even I feel cheeky considering socks for 2 years running Ali joined the chat 3 hours ago Tommy: I was gonna go full rivers of whiskey cept I'd probs drown myself in it before the bottle was in the bag 😂 Ali: So you should, elf on the shelf! Socks should only ever be an add-on prezzie, even if they're DEAD comical, like. Ali: Speaking of elf on the shelf, would you be willing to come round mine every day at the crack of dawn (aka JUST before the kiddos will arise like horrible demon krakkens from the depths) so I can arrange you in comical positions and situations? Ali: They love that shit. I on the other hand want to murder the CEO of whatever company/the high-key mum mafia that made this shit popular again. Ali: I've got me thinking cap on for the old man for ye...Hmm Ali: (and how rude to get cuffed for the season and not even get to the part where you get a bomb-ass present/someone to tout around the family functions...rude. You not actually at the bottom of a bottle quite yet though, yeah? Doing the obligatory welfare checkup here) Tommy: Excuse you miss money bags! 💰 just 'cause you're one of the rare artists who ain't starving like! some of us don't have boyfriends who cook or paying audiences Tommy: so yeah obvs! Gotta keep in shape just in case don't I? catch me pirouetting across your patio bitch Tommy: Green's my colour these days and red's always been signature Tommy: I'm alright (love you for asking!) how's you? Tommy: Genuinely Ali: Oh yeah, 'cos father will flip his shit if the price tag ain't AT LEAST three figs... 😏 Silly billy, and oi, oi! My student loan ain't kicked in yet ...I'm on a gap yaaaaaah though, darling, I've simply GOTTA act like a frivilous rich bitch. Deal with it, you're still the shady bitch of the fam, okay? 😘 Ali: Yaaasss, you're gonna have to drop a couple of pounds to fit in that teeny costume but a day in the life of a TRUE star init, babe? I believe in you Ali: Bet you didn't come here to be called fat, did you? How fucking cheeky is that forreal Ali: Colour of luck boy 🍀🍀🍀 Ali: Hmm, ngl I'm in a bit of a...situation, and I ain't talking I've forgot to order a turkey Tommy: Imagine...jog on old man just 'cause went for the quantity with the sprogs doesn't mean you'll get quality back soz Tommy: try it but good luck trying to get your little uns to deal with you being the spoilt one 😂 Tommy: well since I got the 🍀 its 🤞 Tommy: feckin hell has caleb forgotten kids are for life not just chrimbo again? Tommy: I'll deck his halls if he's being a prick Ali: That'll show him! That's what you get for bringing me into this world, whole lotta backchat and not an ounce of grattitude, take that! Ali: Join me 'cos I'm sure that's what mum feels I've got her Ali: We did Rio's first Xmas morning, and 2nd, at home! It really is Caleb's fams turn Ali: I can't help that its Junie's first, evidently I ain't planning this shit woman! Ali: #contraceptionwhomst? #pulloutnhopeforthebest #itswhatgodwouldwant Ali: And it ain't like we're not coming over for a second dinner, we fat as hell, get wid it and pass the gravy Ali: Catch me in the tesco throwing tantrums with Rio on the reg tbh #twocanplayatthatgamehoney #childrenraisingchildren Ali: Nah, although loving all the macho threats of violence when my honour is at stake as of late...Is my drama letting you live up to your full brotherly potential? Welcome... Ali: TMI, give a shit, but I'm late on and I've thrown up a few times, not from the mother's ruin, like Ali: hahahahahama'sgonnakillmeisn'tshe Ali: whatthefucklike Tommy: Who you kidding you're the blatant fave & lbr if the lord's got his specs on should be even more so for following her shining example like Tommy: honor thy father and mother and all that Tommy: who doesn't love a mini me Tommy: especially one who can sing every sperm is sacred with perf pitch Tommy: Amen! this aint 1850 pass the roasties gdi! Tommy: all we want for christmas is carbs Tommy: OH MY CHRIST NOT AGAIN Tommy: 😧 Tommy: I know you're on your gap year but no need to be so literal Ali: Ha, please! Not Tess Vickers' fave. Da's, obviously, as he is mine, (babe). You and Joe are the momma's boys, always have been, you needy little babbas. Ali: A woman who doesn't love herself...damn, too deep, reverse, reverse! Ali: You'd be surprised how annoying an all-singing-all-dancing constant reminder of all your best and worst bits is Ali: Usually the best, which is happy-making magic, but when its the worst...GOOD LORDT. Plus its a reminder of the same in your other half, and we all like to overlook that shit now, don't we? *sips tea* Ali: God I am gonna go HAM with my 'cravings' this Chrimbo...what timing! Maybe I did plan this after-all Ali: but no, I did not Ali: But yeah...this is a thing I'm processing, thought I'd drag you down with me 🤷 Tommy: I was gonna be all like not with him probs dead in a ditch and me one audition away from getting cosy in a cardboard box but I better swerve too dont wanna spend the season with the samaritans on speed dial Tommy: you and fraze are the success stories savor it Tommy: honey I've got a mirror Tommy: and near constant feedback from them in the know Tommy: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Tommy: that's calebs chrimbo gift sorted then yeah? Ali: Lordy, I know we're Irish but there's no need to be that fuckin' maudlin, Tommo Ali: Oh, you wanted an idea for Da but that is SO Fraze's prezzie Ali: Just tell him that, all day. Money can't buy that kinda happiness Ali: The spirit of the Holidays Ali: Them in the know don't know shit Ali: I mean...gift or curse? Ali: We've only just got back on track, this is probably going to derail the whole damn caboose Tommy: everyone's a critic and there's only one shane macgowan I hear ya Tommy: I reckoned you meant a mirror for a sec I was like uh huh he's got that one covered love 😏 Tommy: Hey! That's mine covered 🙋 just repeat that back to me Tommy: those clueless cunts Tommy: Nah he'll be buzzing esp if he gets another girl Tommy: there's only one Rio but he's shameless ha Tommy: leave the cursing for ma she'll be doing plenty once she's done stuffing your stocking with contraceptives Ali: Mhmm, save it for the improptu karaoke when we're all feeling merry on the day, like Ali: Lmao, he'd live in a 360 degree view changing room if he could Ali: How millenial of us! Lets just gift each other with positive affirmations Ali: Maybe...Gah Ali: Whatever, whether he deals or doesn't, doesn't change the fact I am with child again and yeah, Caleb's reaction is the least of my worries Ali: I'm going to be going to Uni abroad with 3 kids...damn Ali: If I don't get locked away for my own good, of course Tommy: 😇 Will do Tommy: I reckon that's the goal when he 'makes it' Tommy: scrawl it on my personalised starbies cup and have done babe Tommy: You're grand it'll just be one hell of a plane ride Tommy: 🍀 & 🤞 Tommy: OH SHIT WAIT Tommy: the whole Caleb reaction thing has me thinking...not to be rude but Tommy: it is his yeah? Ali: It better be Ali: Aside from the Drew incident I didn't shag anyone else Ali: and we used a condom Ali: I mighta been several sheets to the wind but I hadn't lost my whole goddamn mind Tommy: thank christ for that Tommy: imagine trying to play happy families with that twat Ali: Amen Ali: Yeah that isn't the life I've signed up for Ali: Bitches forget I already got a ring on my finger, like Ali: Legal or otherwise Tommy: Beyonce is here for your union Tommy: good enough for me Tommy: low key proud of ya not to be an enabler but like Tommy: I'll happily hooray you getting Drew to put something on it too god knows where that fuckboy's been Ali: Thank you! I will take that hooray because I literally had to mum Ro's arse and tell her to do the same every time Ali: AND had to do it in such a way it didn't sound like I was saying as much, like, your boyf is a cheater and we all know it sweetie Tommy: ugh 😷 glad you did though I hear your next door nemesis had to get herself to the clinic sharpish & i don't reckon she'd spread gossip that'd make her out to be riddled Tommy: 🦀🐛 Ali: 🤢😤 Unsurprised on both their behalf there but low-key furious Ali: he knows how that bitch treats Ro, and always has done Ali: there's being a cheat with any random hoe and then there's that...is it me or is that next-level careless? Ali: To the point it looks like he's doing it to hurt her, I'm sure he's just ignorant but, like, what the fuck?!!? Tommy: RIGHT? Tommy: like I don't doubt she ain't telling him all the ins and outs of her childhood drama but still Tommy: even with more brains than biceps he's gotta have a clue or two Tommy: OOOPS ACCIDENTAL COMPLIMENT Tommy: I'm offended on my own behalf Tommy: almost as cringe as once thinking he was hot 🤓😳 kms Ali: Yeah but it ain't like he's not been here...and she's still a cunt to Ro now, so Ali: Tries to be to me but who's listening, Bitch I'm deaf all of a sudden??? Ali: Hahahahaha Ali: He's attractive, to the point its kinda fact more than opinion so I don't think you're alone on that score Ali: If the notches on his bedpost are anything to go by...and I fucked him so can't be judging, consider your sins absolved, no hail mary's needed, maybe a few bloodys when I next pin u down for an IRL debrief? Ali: Oh wait, a bitch can't...I'll make it a Virgin Mary...WHEY! Tommy: True and I know he ain't got a bitch muted 'cause I aint rn either 👀 & my specs are on when I'm scrolling Tommy: I see what I see Tommy: 😞 Tommy: Fuck it lets go dancing Tommy: bounce that bump while you still can Ali: 'Course not, gotta 'low the bitch to slide into dem dms on the reg, if for nothing else than the ego boost Ali: 😒 Ali: I need that, lets go lets go lets go, its been TIME since I got to go out and not take the bubs Ali: I'll have to see who can have 'em though... Ali: Can't be mum, really selling how responsible a parent I'm gonna be to 3 by throwing 2 at her and fucking off to partay Tommy: SAMSIES...not that I'm going out with 2 kids on the reg but y'know Tommy: we on it 💃 Tommy: Dial up their daddy Tommy: he'll step up while we step out I'm sure Ali: Sure, just the one, like #oosh! toosoonforbants? Ali: Can but try, I'll get back to you when he replies Ali: Ooh, what are we gonna wear Tommy: I've got my elf cossie if I can only squeeze in Tommy: you could pin a red letter on if you've got something that won't clash 🤔 own that guilt like a good catholic 📿 Ali: Ooh, festive AND appropriate for my situ, I like it. Tommy: A for advent sweeties 😘 Tommy: can you cut my hair though I looking like the grinch if he was a blonde blue eyed dreamboat Ali: And Awesome! And Ali! And Ass! 😎 Ali: Obvi, you never could rock the long hair look, remember that dark period in time 😂 Ali: Can I try something slightly new tho? 🤔 Tommy: why the feck not gotta at least look ready to mingle like Tommy: 💔😂 Ali: Dubo not gonna know what's hit it and ya mans gonna know what he missing when I'm done with you! Promise Tommy: I'll hold you to it Tommy: no pressure Tommy: oooh maybe we could go shopping 😀 Ali: You know I'm winning boys back like its my business Ali: well, boy singular but that's enough, right? #greedybisexual Ali: I am always down for killing time snapping up killer #lewks, lets do it man Tommy: yaaaaaaaaaaas Tommy: careful I might hold you to that too #tipsfrommybabysiskms Ali: baby be wise tho 💞 where u at i'll come get u Tommy: about a lot of things yeah 👍 nws I'll come at you I need the exercise #aintforgotyoucalledmeafattylike Ali: alright well, RUN FORREST RUN Tommy: 🏃