#oh to be murdered by murdoc

[polkadotjohnson]

MacGyver - Bullet + Pen (2017)

[krillposting]

Four characters who make you yell "MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN".

Thank you for tagging me, @capondi!!

With apologies that 3 out of 4 are Dastmalchian characters...

1) Abner Krill

The man who launched my account, my darling Abner Krill. His depressive, brooding affect paired with his vibrant powers, social disinhibition and trauma captivated me instantly. Truly as a character he is a hyperfixation like no other. I can fix him? I really can't. But he can fix me.

2) Piter de Vries.

Abner's opposite in many ways, but my type is fucked up little guy and Piter is the supreme. When I found out Dastmalchian was playing him in the Villeneuve Dune, I immediately became invested. But in process, came to adore every iteration of Piter: book version, Brad Dourif, and every fan art incarnation. They are all my murder husband.

3) Dennis Murdoc

Oh look, another sociopath! To be honest, I have watched every MacGyver episode which features Murdoc, and none of the others. As far as I'm concerned, Murdoc is the main character of that show. I love that he's a cold blooded killer with a sense of humour, and you can tell Dastmalchian had a blast playing him. His gloves are also a borderline kink tbh.

4) Floki Vilgerðarson

A character I've never posted about on here, but he is just as much My Man as the Dast boys. The top recommended Google search under Floki's name is "what mental illness does he have?" He's a master craftsman. He's a religious zealot. He's high on hallucinogens. He rocks a smoky eye. He discovered Iceland by mistake. I'm in love with him even though he'd want to kill me with an axe.

I tag @kyber-infinitygems @practically-an-x-man @aesdi and @cadavergraves if any of you are up for playing - and whomever else too!!

[snobgoblin]

oh my god you guys have no idea I've just been exploding to tell you this one all day

(warning this one's a little dark, think the darkest elements present in both fnaf and Gorillaz)

OK GOD OK SO. fnaf Gorillaz au. BUT. it's a bit more complicated than that, it's not a 1-to-1 theyre the same for like, anything, it's basically "Gorillaz characters and their backstories are essentially the same except theyre in a completely different setting mirroring the events of fnaf"

OK SO. I'll try to make this as short as I can

-Murdoc is William Afton

-Russel is Henry Emily

-Noodle is an amalgamation of those two's children who died in accidents

-2-D is a nightguard

(I thought Russel and Murdoc would be perfect for Henry and William because they're both really into robots)

OK. so. in this, Murdoc and Russel are partners. they adopt this kid, Noodle, together, and realize that like them she really loves technology and music. (it's easier to combine William and Henry's families into one since there aren't many gorillaz characters) they just think the world of Noodle, they love her more than anything, so they build two springlock suits to entertain her. 1 (Spring Bonnie) Cortez the Raven and 2) (Fredbear) Katsu the Cat. Noodle loves these things to death, and one day she decides that she wants to try on the springlock suit, and she died (kind of mirrors both El Mañana and the tragedies that struck in fnaf)

well understandably, this destroyed Murdoc and Russel. so they opened up a pizzeria (known for their off the walls flavors) to maybe, hopefully fill the void of making that kid happy with their animatronics. this time, with a different Cat animatronic with sunglasses, Mike the Monkey, and a new, colorful Cortez the Raven, as well as an unnamed Pig (also I'm not entirely sure if Golden Freddy and Fredbear are one in the same tbh but there would be a fifth)

well Murdoc decided he just couldn't stand it anymore and he wanted to make a deal with Satan. if he sacrificed five children, he could get Noodle back. so he killed these bullies that frequented the pizzeria

those bullies being, the gangreen gang. well Russel just felt awful about this, I mean his friends were killed, he's gonna have strong feelings about these kids being killed. so he tried everything to bring them back, taxidermy, prosthetics, but he found out that stuffing them in suits did the trick, but because their souls then went into the animatronics, the deal did not work

well anyway I forgot a lot of what I was trying to remember today but shit hits the fan in every way imaginable, Murdoc gets springlocked and then Russel has no friends, no family, no partner, and really no reason to live so he burns down the pizzeria with him inside

I also want to do something with Cyborg Noodle- like, in the books, Charlie was a robot the whole time and had no idea the real her died as a child

OH I forgot to mention 2-D becomes a night guard bc he heard some freaky shit went down and he wants to know All The Secrets he's very curious about it. like a real life horror movie. he probably would also be like Phone Dude from fnaf 3 (really excited about the murders to the point of salvaging everything from the fire to make it a horror attraction)

[hetaczechia]

Murdoc: What else have you learned?

Mac: You're a murderous hag.

Murdoc: Oh good, we're going to be direct.

[museum76]

Pylon Place in Its Heyday

Thank you for visiting the Vault of Memories. Though built to protect only the best and brightest of Pre-War America, these walls are now dedicated to preserving only the memory of those who deserve it — the common people of Appalachia. Though we aren't offering any guided tours at this time, I am available to answer any questions you have about our exhibits. Do keep your hands off the glass.

Oh, you have a question — and it's not, "Where are the vendors?" It's an actual question about one of our exhibits? Let us go there, posthaste, and I will tell you all I know.

Ah, Pylon Place. Though you may only know it as the "Old Haunted Inn", it was quite a sight in its day. These photographs are believed to have been taken by its proprietors, Edith and Beckett Murdoc. Though not much is known about the pair, they are credited with the dissolution of the Blood Eagles, a brutal raider gang that was active in the early 22nd Century

Pylon Place was both their home, an inn, a bar, and even for a short while hosted Appalachia's favorite mechanical musician.

Settlers, raiders, farmers, mercenaries, all types found a comfortable place to rest their feet at Pylon Place — barring the Blood Eagles.

Though Beckett attributed the wooden duck hiding on top of his bar to his wife Edith, sources say it was actually placed by his sister-in-law, with whom he had a fraught relationship.

Unfortunately, no records survive to tell the nature of their feud with that particular band of raiders — anything you may hear is pure speculation at this point. It did, however, come to a very, very bloody end some years after these photographs were taken.

Hmm? How do we know when they were taken? Let me turn your attention to this photograph:

Though you might not recognize her, that smoothskinned woman in the background is none other than the famed deathclaw dueling, huntress of horrors, the gallivanting ghoul Mrs. Murder-McCoy.

Though she is a bit too renown for a place in our little museum, she has donated the diaries and photographs of her second and third husbands — a hunter from the Toxic Valley and a supermutant doctor, if you can believe it! I would be happy to show them to you, they are just this w-

Oh, you are late for a meeting at the... office. I suppose it can't be be helped. Do stay alive out there, wastelander — and come back anytime.

[star-of-waterdeep]

This is really long so I'm gonna put it under a cut, but!!! some of my f/os' para lists :] (oh, and their sexualities cuz why not)

Simon Walker

Gay Aromantic

Biastophilia - Rape

Hoplophilia - Guns

Krouophilia - Beating someone

Somnophilia - Sleeping person

Asphyxiaphilia - Choking

Autassassinophilia - Life-threatening situations

Erotophonophilia - Murder

Masochism - Pain

Ephebophilia - Ages 15-19

Capnolagnia - Smoking

Catagelophilia - Being ridiculed

Astarion Ancunin

Panromantic Demisexual

Necrophilia - The dead

Biastophilia - Rape

Somnophilia - Sleeping person

Zoophilia - Animals

Stigmatophilia - Piercings and tattoos

Sadism - Inflicting harm

Erotophonophilia - Murder

Emapihtophilia - Gore

Agnotitaphilia - Virginity/chastity

Erythrophilia - Blushing

Murdoc Niccals

Bisexual

Voyeurism - Watching other people

Psavophilia - Fingering

Dacryphilia - Crying

Asthenolagnia - Humiliation

Zelophilia - Jealousy

Aisthitirakiphilia - Sensory deprivation

Apopnigophilia - Face-sitting

Cofortiphilia - Grooming

Ebriuphilia - Intoxication/drunkenness

Mixoscopia - Watching one’s partner fuck someone else

Odaxelagnia - Biting

Ephebophilia/Hebephilia - Ages 11-19

Elijah Kamski

Bisexual

Hoplophilia - Guns

Consanguinamory - Romantic/Sexual attraction to his half-brother (Gavin Reed)

Androidism - Humanoid robots 

Univestiphilia - Uniforms

Hebephilia - Ages 11-16

Omorashi/Urophilia - Urination

Somnophilia - Sleeping person

Agonophilia - Consensual non-consent

Leptosadism - inflicting mild pain or harm

Mastigophilia - Punishment

Chrematistophilia - Paying for sex

Cordophilia - Being bound

Hybriphilia - Being worshipped

Exhibitionism - Being watched

Endytophilia - Staying dressed during sex

Doxophilia - Receiving praise

[cryptid-bird]

Reading An Old Fic

I'm reading an old Gorillaz fic that I wrote years ago, and it's so unintentionally funny in some parts. For context, 2D fucking. Dies. That's the plot. He's a ghost now. The story is mostly angst, so the random bits of humor is like getting smacked in the face. The story overall is not bad, it's just weird that I did that! If I had finished this, it could have been close to a novel length.

Highlights of the story:

The chapter names include such gems:

Drink To Forget Your Problems.

Great, This House Is Fuckin' Haunted.

Talking To Your Dead Friend Around Your Adopted Daughter Can Be Super Awkward

Play Video Games To Forget Your Crippling Depression.

Summon Satan To Help Deal With Your Problems Instead Of Facing Them Like An Adult.

Don’t Starve Shipwrecked Basically

I can sense a theme with some of these.

Murdoc gets in an elevator with a white suburban family. He has an inverted cross around his neck and blood on him (from an injury). It's awkward

2D uses his ghost powers to make Murdoc's shower ice cold.

After a very dramatic scene: “What’cha doin’?” Stuart asked. He sounded bored and alone. 

“Running from my problems.” Murdoc responded.

Taxi Driver: “My friends would be stoked to hear this, they’re big fans.” 

Murdoc: “I always love fans. Tell ‘em I said that my bed can always fit one more person.”

2D calls Murdoc a murderer for being partly responsible for his demise (even though it was unintentional). Murdoc denies being a murderer. 2D is like "I have a law degree!!", which is funny to me. Why does he have that

EMI Records calls Murdoc during an angsty scene and threatens to hold him hostage until he can tell them where 2D is. When he says he will get his lawyers involved, they tell him "We're a billion dollar company, we can do whatever we want"

2D meets a blind woman who can hear him. She doesn't know he is a ghost and doesn't get the memo. She's like "We all feel invisible sometimes. It's ok"

Russel: “I know you’re in there you green piece of shit”. 

Noodle is unable to ship her sword, but is somehow able to ship herself, a whole human, through FedEx. This is never addressed.

Murdoc plans to murder a child to bring 2D back from the dead. He can't bring himself to. He kills someone else instead by being bisexual at a club. This chapter is called: Murder For A Good Cause. The man he brings back is actually from the Black Cloud and attacks Murdoc first.

A line from the story, out of context: "It would just be plain awkward, like having sex with your best friend watching, except he and 2D weren't friends." 

(More under the cut)

Noodle: “Uhuh. Well, I’m going out to go get some dinner. If I come back and anything is wrong I won’t hesitate to harm you.” she threatened. 

Murdoc: “I know that! Enjoy your dinner!” he called as he dragged the corpse away to clear space. 

2D finds Murdoc drawing a pentagram next to a dead body and is like "WHAT THE FUCK"

“There’s a dead body on the floor-” Stu pointed out, but was interrupted by Murdoc.

“Stop pointing out the obvious.”

“So you slit his throat?” 

“What else did you expect me to do? Kindly show him the door?” 

This scene:

He pricked his finger, allowing a drop of blood to fall into the solution. He felt a strange tingling sensation, and the very next thing he knew he was standing in the oh so familiar underworld. 

He was in a building. The roof was high up and was supported by towering beams. On the beams were torches lit with hot flames. They were the only light in the room. 

A large demon paced back and forth. He seemed angry. “For the last time, I don’t want your car insurance! I don’t even have a car! How did you get this number?!” he paused, listening to what the person on the other line had to say. “At least I’m not going to have an early death! Have fun in Hell!” he swiftly hung up. It seemed he was unaware of his company until Murdoc cleared his throat.

And this:

“It’s you. You don’t remember our deal? You specifically asked for your band to never die. Your friend did, but because of our deal his soul remains. Well, ta-ta! I’m off to my meeting. Hell can’t run itself.”

If you want to read all of what I've written, let me know and I can upload the rest on ao3. I've already published some of it on there. I will not finish it, I'll just give you what I've already done.

[burnlikeme]

"Yeah! Yeah, nice one, both of those and more! Ehm, I'm a musician, like I've mentioned, and so I keep odd hours. I saw all kinds of things late at night." Comes with the territory, really. He sips at his latte. "The house was dirt cheap, like. Murdoc got it for next to nothing. It was built on a mass grave from the plague back in the 1600s, and-and Murdoc said something about druids before that...? The man who built it, Sir Emerick Khong? He was...ehm, prone to hosting parties." He leans in closer, voice dropping. "Sex parties. Nasty stuff, way b-beyond kink. Like...murder. Sacrifice. There were...lots of deaths. So...so echoes of that were there, and then right before we bought it, there was this...biker gang? And in the 90s, they had a party in there, but it caught on fire and somehow the doors were, ehm, they were stuck? So they died in there. Some two thousand of them, maybe more." If this story were coming from anyone else, it would sound unbelievable. The Toon isn't one to lie when it comes to his haunting and his ghosts, though.

"So when Murdoc got it, and when we moved in, there were...figures in the hallway. Outside the windows. Roaming the grounds, and...and I always heard whispering from the basements, where those bikers burned. Noodle, my daughter, said there were all kinds of monsters there, too. I didn't notice them as much as the others, on account of that I don't see very well. We lived there from...oh, 1998 up to...must have been 2008, what when Murdoc burned it down. So...so that's the short version, about our old Kong Studios. I miss it, honestly."

"That's understandable." Everyone needed their little safety spots away from the world. Even Daphne herself despite how much she enjoyed spending time with her friends would need some downtime in order to recharge her batteries.

"Burned it down for insurance money?" Daphne couldn't help but raise a brow to that. Sounds like something one of their masked villains would've done for a quick cash scheme. The more he talked, the more curious she became!

"Oh, what did you hear? And see? Was it really spooky stuff? Like, writing suddenly being on the walls when you looked back or um..." Give her a second to think up a scenario. "...Seeing figures just outside the window or door but not truly being there?"

[bluebird-imagines]

Hi :) can you do all the members(separately off) with a s/o who doesn’t really like their music?

[I can for sure give it a shot! This is my first ask so i do hope you enjoy it ^_^. Also I apologize for taking so long, my second vaccine shot kicked my butt]

Prompted: S/O who doesn’t like Gorillaz Music

Trigger Warnings: I can’t think of any for this one. Maybe I should state my horrible 2D accent! I apologize in advance. Of and I bring up the s*x, m*rder, party song. But all and all I don’t think there is anything else. Anyway enjoy!

~Murdoc Niccals ~

Let’s start this off with, at first he doesn’t even realize that you don’t like the Gorillaz music. He never even pieces two and two together. Why might you ask? Well for the first while you tolerated it for the Bass players sake.

After a few months, you decided it would be best to maybe leave Kong whenever the band you as practicing or rehearsing. You did a lot of stuff in this time. Coffee, read some good books, even went bowling on your own a few times. It was just nice to get away from that horrid music.

You didn’t have anything against the band members themselves! All of them were nice, it just you found the songs to be tedious and annoying.

When Murdoc finally started to take notice, he would ask you why you would avoid the band. Not seeming to understand the distaste of their masterpieces.

You lied most of the time, saying something stupid like “oh I am meeting up with friends” or “oh I would just be in the way”.

After a few more months, Murdoc finally forced you to sit and listen to their newest album. Mainly wanting to get your take on it before the official release.

You didn’t even get halfway through the first song before standing up and tuned off the player. You honestly felt like your ears would jump off your head if you ever heard that again.

“What the Bloody hell was that for?! We have like 43 more minutes to go”

“Murdoc, I don’t know how to tell you this. But babe…your music is a flaming hot dumpster fire and I don’t like it”

“……what? Why the hell are you with me then if you don’t like our music?”

“Because I may have underlining daddy issues according to the internet, but in reality I really love you Mudz…for you!”

“So playing bass isn’t sexy….underlining what? No wait getting away from the real point here. You never heard if Feel Good inc.? Or you know Clint Eastwood?Those were some of our best songs! What about To Binge? Empire ants? Any of them.

“Hmm, Feel Good inc? Let’s see it’s repeats itself a lot. Clint Eastwood? Haha other then the opening your song had nothing to do with Clint Eastwood. You posted To Binge aka forced 2D to sing it. Empire Ants? It just sucks”

“You suck! Are music is an art! It’s great! you are the problem here.”

“Never said I was! Your music is an art and it makes a lot of people happy. But to me, my ears did like it…but I can say this, I do like you a lot Murdoc.”

“ I am pretty great! Fine no more of our music…around your at least. But maybe sometimes”

“I can handle sometimes”.

~Noodle~

Noodle would completely understand your distaste for their music. She understands that not anyone is up for what they produce and she thinks that is okay!

For her as long as you don’t listen to any overly annoying songs around her. She really doesn’t care what you listen to.

She does however like to get your input on songs, even if you don’t like them. She just likes hearing different peoples ideas.

But with that being said, there is a 100% chance that she may try to convert you into liking Gorillaz. Of course, just simply by showing you different songs they have done. Like Punk or Humility, Feel Good inc. or El Mañana. Hell she has even shown you Latin Simone.

When she realized she was doing this, she quickly backed off and apologized.

“Sorry (Y/n). I didn’t mean to do that…I just kind of got excited and thought you would like the different genres we have done.”

“It’s okay Noodle, you realized your mistake! Honestly it’s not that the songs themselves aren’t inherently bad…it’s just well Murdoc’s bass playing is well…pretty bad in my opinion”

“Oh? How so if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Well to me it sounds like well, a crusty old man who doesn’t know how to cut his nails and proceeds to scratch the surface of everything he touches. Also while we are at it 2D’s singing is really hard to understand!”

“Well Murdoc does forget to clip his nails from time to time and he doesn’t seem to like using a pick for his bass. But now you confused me with 2D”

“Listen I love you all! Especially you Noodle, but ooo boy, if you guys weren’t careful in sex murder party…it kind of sounds like 2D is singing dissolve the kids…which isn’t a pleasant image”

“Ah, I see what you mean, anything else?”

“Nope! Your guitar playing is wonderful! Love everything about you! Just your band is a bit much at times haha”

~Russel Hobbs~

Much like Noodle Russel would understand that their music wasn’t for everyone. Everyone was entitled to their own opinion. For example he was really into rap and it took a while for him to talk the whole band into listening to it.

Regardless unlike Noodle or Murdoc he wouldn’t make you listen to a single song of theirs if you didn’t want to.

Of course you would every now and then for their demo’s you just wouldn’t voice your opinion on it, since you couldn’t stand it.

Russel would also try his best to get into music that you like! Of course, if he doesn’t like one of the songs you like, you make a mutual agreement to not play it around him.

He even at one point turned it into a game that he really enjoyed playing with you! It was a game that helped the both of you set up playlists!

He would pick one of his favourite songs, if you thought it was okay, it went into the playlist. If he liked one of the songs you picked into the playlist!

“Okay how about, this song?”

“Let it go…from frozen? Really, we ain’t putting that in the playlist”

“Yeah you are right it was a stupid idea, it’s just been stuck in my head.”

“Haha fair enough, how about Rainforest by Noname?”

“Hmm, that’s actually not a bad one! We can throw it in! Alright space jam?”

“What is with you in movie songs tonight? Yeah we can throw in space jam”

“Sweet!”

“I can’t believe space jam beats our music out in that mind of yours…”

~Stuart “2D” Pots~

At first, 2D can not wrap his mind around the fact that you hate their music. More so he has never really had someone be with him for well just him before. Most of the one nightstands he had in the past was because of his popular singer status.

He does try his very best to get you into their music, of course, walking the fine line between shoving it down your throat and giving you air to breath with your own tunes.

That being said though, he doesn’t overly mind the fact that you like your own selection of music. He does find some of your songs enjoyable.

When he realizes most of the bands travel playlist consisted of a few of the bands own songs. He secretly takes the phone and changes up the playlist. He removes the Gorillaz songs and replaces them with songs you like.

Although you don’t like the bands music, that never truly stopped you from liking 2D’s singing. When he found that out he made a special song just for you. One where it was only on his keyboard and singing. He keeps it hidden so Murdoc doesn’t find it.

“(Y/n) I made yew something!”

“Oh sweet Satan please don’t tell me it was breakfast and that you burnt down the kitchen again!”

“What no! Besides that was a one time fing and I got a four month ban from going in fere fanks to Russel”

“Sorry…shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. What did you make 2D? You seemed really proud.”

“Oh well Um…I know yew don’t like our music and all…but I uh, I made yew a song, do ya want to ‘ere it?”

“Of course 2D, just because I don’t like your music, doesn’t mean I can’t be supportive of you”

“Well, this song isn’ really goin’ to be on an album, because I made it for yew”

“Aww 2D you didn’t have to~”

“But I wanted too!”

After he plays the song, you state that you adore it! This puts a huge smile on his face!

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

you have no way of knowing this but i did take joy in you naming the murderer mark "murdoc" considering that in the show i'm watching the hitman with a formerly perfect record who gets an obsession with being the one to kill the one person who escaped him because of how smart said person had to be to do so, almost to the point of a villainous crush, is also named murdoc

Oh fr????? Nice

Also I give moon rabbit anon (🌗🐰) credit for that name

[mossterious]

Eee thank you so much for tagging me!!!

What is the origin of your blog title? It’s Moss, my name, combined with mysterious. But it actually used to be moss combined with the show Murdoch Mysteries, and it’s just morphed from there into what I have now :)

OTP(s) + Shipname: Daniel/Armand (iwtv), Claudia/Madeleine (iwtv), MacGyver/Murdoc (MacGyver 2016), Julia/Murdoch (Murdoch Mysteries)

Favourite colour: Yellow

Favourite game: Dark deity, maybe? Or just Smash Bros lol.

Song stuck in your head: Currently switching between There’s An Axolotl On The Pink Stairs and Gotta Get That Name from Muppets Classic Theatre lmao

Weirdest habit/trait? The only thing I can think of is that I watch movies like other people listen to music. While writing, while getting dressed, while on a walk- it’s almost always movies.

Hobbies: Reading, writing, digital art, puppet making, baking, cooking (specifically soups), photography, sewing, making clown ruffs, animation, watching movies

If you work, what’s your profession? Not currently working, but I used to do freelance photography and now I’m kinda selling my chokers and ruffs

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Author, journalist, librarian, or (if the system wasn’t so shit) psychologist

Something you’re good at: Writing a LOT at once, having random muppet facts for any occasion, apparently making soup???

Something you’re bad at: Making. Muffins. THEY ARE THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE RIGHT NOW. Also like- remembering things. And texting people. And walking without falling over. Lmao.

Something you love: The feeling when you make something, or are in the act of making something, and it’s just the best feeling in the world. A really good field. Cookies. Puppets. My friends.

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: The Muppets, trying to explain the plot of Murdoch Mysteries, the difference between ossicones, horns, and antlers, but also literally anything. Like. Literally anything. I get people saying ‘wow I never knew you liked BLANK’ because I accidentally talked about horses for two hours when I don’t even like horses all that much!!! I just. Know stuff.

Something you hate: Being itchy, the concept of fire, and also like, yknow, bigots and billionaires and… gestures vaguely to all the horrible things happening in this world fueled by greed and indifference

Something you collect: Muppets and Sesame Street memorabilia, classic books by one specific publisher, kids chapter books series’, Lego, pins and buttons, oh also like actual sewing buttons, stuffed animals

Something you forget: Literally everything. I’ve forgotten other people’s names, my own name, what movie I was watching, what I was doing, who the story I was telling involved- literally anything and everything. But I especially forget that I can just… text people. If I want them to talk to me. And that friends actually exist when they are not actively talking to me.

What’s your love language: Probably physical touch??? I suppose?

Favourite movie/tv show: oh god. This is gonna be long. I love the muppet movie, I love Hot Fuzz, I love the Hitcher, and right now I REALLY REALLY LIKE CONCLAVE. like currently watching it, have watched it 21 other times, really like Conclave. It’s fine. Also there are def movies I’m forgetting. As for tv shows, Murder She Wrote, Criminal Minds, and Murdoch Mysteries are all big childhood favs for me. There’s also Blue’s Room, the Muppet Show, and Elmo’s World, because THEY HAVE PUPPETS. Also Interview With The Vampire of course.

Favourite food: Potatoes. Both a good food to eat and a great word to say randomly. Great in soups, as fries, and cooked in muffin tins with cheese :)) Love potatoes.

Favourite animal: Okapi!!! And giraffes!!! If there were more living animals with ossicones, they would also be my favourite.

What were you like as a child? Great question! I cannot remember! Truly so much of my childhood is gone to the void! But I was very tiny, smart, and quiet, and I cried at basically everything.

Favourite subject in school? English all the wayyy. I’d say French as well, but we did sooooo much public speaking to practice pronunciation and I HATED that.

Least favourite subject? Religion. Because I went to Catholic school and we had to take religion. Sigh.

What’s your best character trait? I genuinely really like helping people and doing things for people, and also I’ve been told that I don’t judge people for things that other people would? So there’s that?

What’s your worst character trait? I shut down from stress and am terrible in a crisis <3

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? Be able to focus on my iwtv puppets. They are just sitting sad in a corner rn, and I really want to work on them again but my brain is against that. For some reason. Also would love to not be out of flour, I wanna BAKE MOREEEE.

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? Would love to punch Thomas Edison in the face. Actually I could just do a lil tour and punch Henry Ford, and Edison, and Alexander Graham Bell- also would love to meet my younger self and be like ‘HEY WHAT YOUR BODY IS DOING IS NOT NORMAL YOU ARE DISABLED GO TELL A GOOD DOCTOR AND ALSO SIT DOWN DAMMIT’

Tag as many mutuals as you want: oh you get another fun fact about me for free! I am absolutely terrified of tagging people in these. Very rarely can I actually do it. It’s just the WORST for my anxiety.

Get to know your mutuals!

Thanks for the tag @arun-armand-amadeo !

What's the origin of your blog title? Reference to my favorite tv show/pairing from it, IWTV.

OTP(s) + Shipname: Armand/Daniel (IWTV), Finn/Poe (Star Wars), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Dani/Jamie (Haunting of Bly Manor)

Favorite color: Blue 🩵

Favorite game: Stardew Valley

Song stuck in your head: Lately it’s been Hozier’s cover of “Do I Wanna Know?”.

Weirdest habit/trait? I go through food hyper fixations where I’ll only eat certain foods for weeks on end until I get sick of them until I have to find the next food to fixate on.

Hobbies: Reading, writing, playing video games, painting, photography, and knitting/crocheting.

If you work, what's your profession? Bank teller.

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? I’ve always wanted to be a writer or a librarian.

Something you're good at: Painting; it’s been a hobby of mine for the last few years but I’ve gotten good enough that I decided to paint all my Christmas gifts last year.

Something you're bad at: Saying no to people, but I’m trying to get better at it.

Something you love: To sing along to songs obnoxiously in my car.

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: Literally anything I’m interested in, I love to talk lol

Something you hate: Billionaires, AI, the current state of my country…

Something you collect: Theatre programs for all the shows I’ve seen live.

Something you forget: People’s names. I’m great with faces, terrible with remembering names.

What's your love language? Quality time.

Favorite movie/show: TV show - Interview With The Vampire, Movie - the Lord of the Rings trilogy

Favorite food: Ice cream

Favorite animal: Dolphins

What were you like as a child? Quiet, nerdy, big time people pleaser.

Favorite subject at school? History

Least favorite subject: Math

What's your best character trait? I’m extremely empathetic and try my best to see things from other people’s point of view, which usually helps with being patient/kind.

What's your worst character trait? I have a hard time putting myself out there and opening up to people I’ve just met, so I’m sure I can come off as rude, but I’m really just shy/socially anxious.

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? I would like to have a life partner, been kind of lonely lately.

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? Tudor history was a hyperfixation of mine when I was younger so I’d love to meet Queen Elizabeth I.

Tag as as many mutuals as you want: @gremlinsminion @sillystigmata @sakura-xoxo @multi-trashqueen @eric-bogosian @mossterious @tvarmandaniel @throes-of-increasing-wonder @jameslongforjimshortforgabriel @loustat

[snobgoblin]

I am currently going through the p cramps may I order uhhhh who you hc as afab members of the gorillaz suffering the same pain I am and how they deal with it please-

oh ofc bestie 💅 i actually don't really headcanon any of them as anything when it comes to gender? I'm weird about characters I dont think "2-D, yeah hes a boy" I just kinda think "2-D, yeah he's 2-D" if that makes sense? but yeah anyway for this I'll just make them all AFAB

2-D copes by pretending hes in a horror movie and bleeding out, he refers to hygiene products as "guaze" and "bandages" and stuff. Cramps? Nooooo no cramps that's the alien about to burst through his stomach

Murdoc saves the blood for later ritual use. Also he throws a big fit the entire time because he has low pain tolerance and he's sure to make that everyone else's problem. Either that or he just lays in bed and mopes

Russel is just kinda like. Yeah this is a thing that happens and yes it is bad but we'll get through it. It took him a long time to get to that point but now instead of breaking down he just grins and bears it. Makes himself a nice disgusting bowl of chili cheese chocolate popcorn. He can't stare at the blood too long or he'll get flashbacks to The Possesion but other than that he's coping well

Noodle just straight up disappears for a week each month and nobody knows where she goes (she is taking out her frustration by murdering demons)

Ace gets really fuckin whiney and keeps insisting that he's not hurting bc of shark week, he totally got in a fight you guys and btw he won. But hes a little bitch about it. Coping is nonexistent

[fantastic-nonsense]

TAG GAME: FIC ROUNDUP

(not @sonicenvy tagging me in this because I'm a loser who shares all of my fic ideas with her at 2 in the morning 😭)

Anyway, the description: "new tag game i’m inventing for everyone and anyone who writes fanfic! Fic roundup!"

how many fic documents do you have/where do they live?

Somewhere around 30-35 that I'm willing to confess to; all of the others are either 'thing I wrote when I was 14,' 'here's a vague summary or idea of something I might want to write,' or single paragraph snippets that don't actually have a larger story attached to them.

MS Word: The vast majority

Google Drive: 2, and only one of them is an actual fic

Some vague ideas housed in my Android Notes app

a few that are still on notebook paper that I haven't transferred over to Word yet

what fandoms do you have fic for?

Several, and most of them are either unfinished or need major revamping. I've actually published fics for Nancy Drew, American Dragon: Jake Long, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Doctor Who, and Young Justice. All of those were written and published before I turned 16 and I largely no longer affiliate myself with them unless and until I do major revamps of them all.

For my WIPs....oh boy. Here's some of the notable ones actually worth talking about:

DCU: like.....10? Idk, It's a lot. Most notably, my active WIP that is 'Leave Me and Live' (aka, the "Jason and his mother figures fic"). I also have a "Tim is the glue that holds the Batfamily together" WIP, a couple of Dick-centric oneshots, a Cass-focused oneshot that's basically just me trying to build out her motivations for going to Hong Kong, and a Damian & Tim time travel fic on the backburner.

Star Wars: 4 or 5. Notably, I have my super expansive reworking of the sequel trilogy beginning with TLJ and a funny political drama oneshot (called 'Meanwhile in the Galactic Senate') about Padme and Bail trying to pass some legislation through the Senate.

Chronicles of Narnia: 3. I have a Susan character study oneshot, a Prince Caspian movieverse fic focused on why Susan the Gentle went on the Telmarine Castle Raid while Lucy the Valiant stayed behind, and a huge expansive book/movieverse AU where the Pevensies stay in Narnia at the end of Prince Caspian.

Miraculous Ladybug: 1. I have a Ladynoir 'East of the Sun and West of the Moon' AU I've literally had a vague outline for since Season 1 was airing, way back in 2015.

Doctor Who: 1. I started a fic called 'The Never Weres' back when I was 15 and Series 5 was airing that was all about the hypothetical lives of the Ninth and Tenth Doctors' Companions in Amy's Starless World (aka, the Doctor-less alternate universe from The Pandorica Opens). Obviously, I never finished it, and probably never will.

Young Justice: A few, but only two worth mentioning. I have a nearly finished 5+1 from a decade ago about the Team grieving Artemis and a "how the Teen Titans Apprentice arc might have happened in the YJ universe" WIP.

Macgyver (2016): 2; an infirmary fic set after 'Wilderness+Training+Survival' and another set in a canon divergent S5 where Jack never left Phoenix to hunt down Kovac but Desi still joined, where Mac gets kidnapped (and not just beaten up) by Murdoc during 5x10 and the rest of the Team has to hunt him down.

ATLA/Legend of Korra: 4. My unfinished 'Justice for Asami Sato' fic haunts me, y'all, but at this point it's never getting finished unless I go back and rewatch LOK...unlikely.

Those are the ones I actually have something written for; if you want my ideas folder well...that's a lot longer and contains a lot more fandoms (ask me about my Fullmetal Alchemist or Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries fic ideas sometime, lmao). tldr: I write too much fic for too many things and I never finish or post anything.

how long is your longest unpublished wip?

Right now, I think that's my Jason-centric fic "Leave Me and Live," which is currently clocking in at ~5k words with the fic about a third of the way done (💀). Excluding that one, it's probably "Control" (otherwise known as the aforementioned "Justice for Asami Sato fic"), which is somewhere vaguely around halfway done at 3k.

Technically, it's "Those Left Behind," my Young Justice 5+1 fic focused on Artemis; it's 9k with most of the final chapter left to write. However, since it is 'published' in the sense that 5 of those chapters are up on FFN, I don't really count it here.

what fic types are most common in your wips?

AUs and canon revamps, character exploration pieces, time travel fics, and hurt/comfort, with a couple of political dramas thrown into the mix (because unfortunately my professional life does sometimes bleed into how I consume fiction, and fictional politics both interests and bothers me immensely to the point of needing to write about it).

do you have any ongoing ‘verses/series in your wips, if so, what are they?

Oh yeah, I have two that I can think of off the top of my head:

My Star Wars TLJ/sequel trilogy reworking is tenatively a series of 3 fics: two long ones, covering the events of TLJ and my verse's equivalent of TROS, and a oneshot epilogue fic set about 5 years later.

My "Pevensies stay in Narnia at the end of PC" fic, which at the time I initially outlined it was (very ambitiously) four fics, each one loosely focused on chronicling 1-3 years that the Pevensies+Caspian spent ruling, with Fic 1 covering their first two years, Fic 2 covering Voyage of the Dawn Treader, and Fic 3 covering their fourth and fifth years in Narnia, with Fic 4 set a few years later and covering a modified version of The Silver Chair.

Theoretically I have more (there's a connected set of Batfamiily oneshots I've been vaguely thinking about), but none of them are actually formed or planned-out yet.

long or short fic?

both. both is good.

tagging @silverwhittlingknife, @bitimdrake, @diocletianscabbagefarm, @loracarol, @river-bottom-nightmare, @mollyhats, @titans-trash, and anyone else who wants to participate!

[refinedbuffoonery]

Looking Through A Window (5)

macriley married undercover au

masterlist.

Admittedly, this is kind of a filler/transition chapter, but I have big plans for this story, and I’m really excited for y’all to read what happens next. Expect an update every weekend this month! 

*****

The nightmare sinks its claws deeper as Mac tries to dislodge it. He knows it’s a dream, and Mac tosses and turns as he grapples for control of his mind. 

The images in his mind persist. He's back in the Sandbox, but this time Bozer is with him, and Bozer's dying from a bullet wound before Mac can carry him to safety. Mac's had the dream a million times, and it always ends the same way. 

I know you won’t let me die, Bozer says. But seconds later, his eyes turn glassy when his soul leaves his body. 

Mac’s throat closes, cutting off his oxygen supply, and for a moment he thinks he’s going to follow Bozer into the afterlife. 

It’s just a dream. He’s just lucid enough to remind himself of that. Wake up, Mac commands his body. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. 

The nightmare won’t let him. 

Suddenly a different set of claws grip Mac’s shoulders, and the voice ordering him to wake up isn’t his own. He tries to jerk away, but the claws dig in. 

Not claws, Mac realizes. Hands. Slender ones, with long fingers. Nails biting into his skin through his worn t-shirt. 

He knows those hands. 

“Wake up,” Riley hisses, and it’s enough to finally yank Mac from his dream. Mac’s eyes snap open, automatically scanning his surroundings. The bedroom is pitch black, but Mac can just make out Riley kneeling above him, her tired face twisted in concern. Her hands are on Mac’s shoulders, but not pinning him to the bed like he first thought. Her touch is light, and her thumbs make gentle sweeps across his collarbones. Mac’s own hands find Riley’s forearms, but he doesn’t push her away, nor does she lay back down. “You okay?” she asks. 

Mac tries to play it off. “Yeah, bad dream. That’s all.” It’s a bit of an exaggeration, considering that he’s drenched in sweat and the final and most disturbing seconds of the dream are lingering longer than the rest. He knows it’s not real, but Mac can’t quite shake the sick feeling. 

Riley exhales, and Mac finds himself mirroring her breathing automatically. Sliding a hand down to her wrist, he presses two fingers into her skin, feeling the steady thrum of her pulse. It’s faster than he expects. 

Almost as if in explanation, Riley says, “You scared the shit out of the dog, not to mention me.” 

Mac winces, feeling guilty. “Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” Slowly, Riley releases him and lays back down, leaving plenty of space between them. Mac misses her touch the instant she lets go. “Want to talk about it?” 

That throat-closing feeling returns as Mac contemplates what to tell her. Part of him wants to share, but a bigger part hesitates when the explanation dies on his tongue. “Not really,” he finally says. 

“Okay.” Riley says, pausing. “You’re wide awake right now, aren’t you?” 

This, at least, he can admit easily. “Yep.” 

There’s another long pause, filled only with the soft sound of their exhales. Just when he’s about to tell Riley to stop worrying about him and go back to sleep, she says, “Come here.” 

Mac stills. That weird tension still lingers between him and Riley, causing awkward silences and stilted conversations. So this…this is unexpected. 

He shouldn't. He really shouldn't. But, her voice is soft and reassuring, and who is he to turn down a free opportunity to cuddle with the woman he loves? Even if it might be a mistake. 

As soon as Mac scoots across the bed, Riley pulls him into her side, guiding his head to rest on her non-injured shoulder. Riley’s side of the bed isn’t nearly as warm as his, but her body is soft and Mac likes how they fit together. Mac can’t help but sigh in contentment as Riley lightly scratches his scalp, and he lets an arm settle over her waist. They’ve fallen asleep together plenty of times over the years, but she’s never held him. Not like this. His heart pounds at the intimacy of it all. 

But as Mac slowly starts to relax, the pulse in his ear doesn’t slow like it should. Because it’s not his heartbeat he’s hearing. 

It’s hers.

Does that mean…?

“So,” Riley says, breaking the silence. “It’s later.” 

The realization feels like a slap to the face. That’s why her heart is beating so fast. Not because of their close proximity, but because it’s later and there’s still that unresolved thing hanging between them. Mac’s fleeting hope that Riley’s racing pulse meant something else is nothing more than a fantasy in his head. 

Swallowing his disappointment, Mac starts, “Riley, I really am sorry—” She cuts him off. 

“Stop. You don’t need to apologize again. I forgave you the first time.” Her fingers sweep behind his ear, making him shiver slightly. “It’s my turn.” Riley takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry for not listening to you. Like, really listening. Your concerns are legit, and I shouldn’t have brushed them aside and followed Matty blindly.” 

Oh. 

“I hate this situation just as much as you do, and I’m sorry if I made you feel otherwise.” Her voice catches slightly. “Also, I lied to you this morning, in the car. I knew I needed to apologize. I just didn’t know how to say it yet.” 

Pointedly ignoring the intimacy of the gesture, Mac brushes his thumb over her ribs in a way he hopes is reassuring. “It’s okay.” 

Riley tenses beneath him, and Mac freezes instantly. “It’s not, but thanks for saying that anyway,” she murmurs, relaxing again. Her fingers resume their path through his hair, catching on the occasional tangle. 

Mac doesn’t know how to reassure her that it really is okay. So instead he confesses, “Sometimes I hate this job.” 

She’s quiet for a few long seconds before responding. “Me too.” 

It’s weird voicing it aloud. They’re all painfully aware of the downsides to the job, but rarely does anyone directly mention it. Maybe Riley is on a similar page as him after all. 

Mac questions, “Are we doing the right thing? Playing along and letting innocent people get hurt just so we can take down the whole organization at once?” He needs to know her answer…needs confirmation that this whole op isn’t just one massive wrong choice. 

“I think the good we do outweighs the bad,” Riley says after a few moments. “At least that’s what I tell myself so I can sleep at night.” She shifts, and for a brief, exhilarating moment, their hips press together before she pushes her knee uncomfortably into his thigh. Mac squirms, trying and failing to find a good position, ultimately taking a chance by slotting his leg between hers. Riley inhales sharply, but she doesn’t push him away. Mac tries not to read into it. Lying like this is intimate and intense and yet so easy. So right.

Mac pushes the heady feeling aside, ignoring the way it crackles in the background, threatening to consume him. They need to have this conversation, without distraction. Even welcome ones. 

“Riley, we helped them kill people,” he says, and Riley’s hand stills in his hair. 

“We can’t save everyone, Mac." 

The thrumming in his body stops so quickly Riley might as well have dumped a bucket of ice water on him. 

His heart cracks as she softly repeats, "We just can't." Like maybe she's breaking her own heart too by saying it. 

He wants to kiss her chest—to press his lips to her heart in an attempt to soothe the ache there. 

Mac understands all too well. It’s not the countless lives they have saved that stick with him, but the few they couldn’t. Zoe, the researcher who drowned in the Arctic to save her students. Jill, who fell victim to one of Murdoc’s murderous games. Charlie, who sacrificed himself so Mac wouldn’t have to choose between saving his friend and saving hundreds of innocent people. Lasky, the nuclear plant engineer who was just doing his job. Mac’s father. His aunt. Jack. 

Riley clears her throat. "So, yeah. I think we are doing the right thing. It just sucks.” 

Mac agrees, even though he can hardly admit it to himself. But there’s still one thing he doesn’t understand. “I don’t get how Matty seemed so okay with all of this,” he says. 

“Come on, Mac. You know Matty hates this just as much as we do. She wouldn’t ask us to play along if she didn’t think it was necessary.” Riley’s fingers resume their steady, sweeping path through his hair, and Mac takes comfort in the gesture. 

He sighs. “You sound like Jack.” 

“I learned from the best. Don’t tell him I said that,” Riley warns, but Mac can hear the smile in her voice. 

He tilts his face toward the ceiling, imagining Jack looking down at them from whatever afterlife he found himself in. “You hear that, old man? She admitted to learning something from you.” 

Riley snorts, giving Mac’s hair a sharp tug. “Oh shut up.” She means it to be playful, but it sends a bolt of desire through his body. 

It’s too much, with her hand in his hair and their bodies intertwined, and the intimacy may very well burn Mac alive. Every nerve in his body goes on high alert, and his grip on Riley’s rib cage tightens automatically. 

“Sleep,” she murmurs, clearly mistaking the tension in his body as coming from somewhere—anywhere—else. Riley is one of the smartest, most perceptive people Mac knows, and yet she has no idea how he feels about her. Maybe that’s a good thing, he reasons. It’s easier that way. Less complicated. 

Although full-on front-to-front cuddling isn’t not complicated. 

It doesn't take long for the gentle pressure of Riley's fingers to win out, and Mac melts into her touch, letting his body grow heavy. Sleep beckons, and his eyelids flutter shut of their own accord as Riley wraps her free arm around his back, pulling him closer. Again, he thinks she feels like safety. 

In his last moments of consciousness, Mac mumbles, “I like this,” before drifting back to sleep.

*****

For the first time, Riley is already out of bed when Mac wakes, and he’s positive it has something to do with the fact that he’s still on her side of the bed. 

Cuddling with her was a mistake. Even if it led to the best sleep he’s had in a long time. 

Burying his face in Riley’s pillow, Mac takes a deep breath. It smells like her. He hears the front door open and close, and then Riley’s muffled voice fills the apartment. Mac can’t quite pick up what she’s saying, but he thinks she’s on the phone rather than talking to Harley. 

Suddenly getting up seems like a daunting task. 

Not caring if it makes him a coward, Mac stays in bed, taking the opportunity to study the bedroom decor. This is day nine of the op, and before now Mac never bothered to appreciate the work someone put into setting up the safe house. It’s too modern and minimalist for his taste, but he has to admit it looks nice. The bedroom walls are a soft light gray, with a handful of paintings of different sizes and framed photos of him, Riley, and Harley scattered throughout. More of the photos Bozer took are in the hallway, but Mac’s never given those more than a cursory glance. 

Across from the bed sits the single, expensive-looking dresser, with overstuffed drawers that don’t quite shut all the way. One of Riley’s drawers is completely open, and the t-shirt she wore to bed last night hangs haphazardly over the edge. 

Mac’s eyes catch on the photo sitting on top of the dresser, beside the plant he keeps forgetting to water. It’s one of the wedding photos, and it’s the only photo Mac has really paid attention to, since he stares at it every day while getting dressed. The photo is of Riley and him slow dancing, and she’s looking at him like he hung the moon. And he’s looking at her the exact same way. 

More than anything, Mac wishes it was real. 

The bedroom door creaks open, and Mac cranes his neck to see Harley’s fluffy head peek through. She doesn’t enter. Instead, Harley watches him cautiously, almost like she wasn’t expecting him to be awake and is now unsure what to do. 

Mac pats the mattress. “It’s okay. Come on.” When she doesn’t move, he adds, “I’m sorry I scared you last night.” His apology must be enough, because Harley jumps on the bed with him. She stands between his outstretched legs as Mac rakes his hands through her fur, scratching her butt the way she likes. “How about I get you a new toy to make up for it?” he asks. Tail wagging, Harley licks his face in approval, and Mac laughs. “I’ll take that as a yes.” 

Riley raises her voice—she’s complaining about something, although Mac still can’t determine what—and both Mac and Harley turn their attention to the sound. 

Harley looks back at him, and Mac starts to think that he wasn’t far off the other day when he noticed Harley playing protector. He smiles softly. “Go check on her.” 

Harley jumps off the bed immediately, surprising Mac when she glances back at him on her way out the door. 

Still smiling, Mac gets up to start his day.

By the time he emerges from the bedroom, Riley is playing fetch with Harley in the living room while she’s on the phone. Surprised the call has lasted this long, Mac raises his brow, silently asking who she’s talking to, and Riley holds up a finger. One second. 

While he’s waiting, Mac wanders into the kitchen in search of breakfast. 

Riley’s next throw ricochets off the wall, and the tennis ball hits Mac’s thigh. “What do you mean he’s not in the database?” she shrieks. “Bozer, practically every criminal in the world is in that database.” 

Mac freezes midway through unwrapping a muffin. 

Riley pinches her nose. “Then run the sketch through the DMV database. The guy who tailed me has to exist somewhere.” 

He swallows. “Tailed?” 

“Hang on, Boze. Mac just walked in.” Exasperated, Riley moves her phone away from her face. “I took Harley for a walk while you were still asleep, and some guy tailed me. Don’t worry, I lost him long before returning to the apartment.” 

Mac bristles. Riley had been in danger, and he was asleep. Why didn’t she tell him where she was going? He tries not to think about all the bad things that could’ve happened. “You think this guy is part of the Patriots?” 

Shrugging, Riley says, “That makes the most sense. But it’s hard to know for sure when we don’t have personnel records.” 

That’s just one of many problems with this op—no official list of known members of the Patriots. Mac and Riley have no choice but to learn about people the old-fashioned way. 

Pinning her phone between her cheek and her shoulder, Riley retrieves the tennis ball from under the couch, her voice muffled as she asks, “Got anything, Boze?” A few seconds later, she groans, but Mac can’t tell whether it’s because of Bozer’s answer or the amount of hair now stuck to the visibly soggy tennis ball in her hands. He makes a mental note to vacuum again. “Thanks for trying,” she says before hanging up. 

Treading carefully, Mac asks, “Well?” He doesn’t need to be a genius to know that she’s still rattled, no matter how much she tries to downplay it. 

“His name is Peter Morrison, and he has three speeding tickets. That’s it.” Still holding the tennis ball, Riley’s shoulders slump as she sits on the arm of the couch. Confused why she stopped playing, Harley stands between Riley’s legs and whines, nosing Riley’s hand in an attempt to get her to throw the ball again. 

When Riley doesn’t oblige her, Mac asks, “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” Riley says, but her voice is tight and she bristles when he moves closer. He knows she’s lying—they’ve both been lying a lot recently—but what Mac doesn’t understand is why. He knows why he’s lying, but why does Riley still feel the need to hide how she’s feeling from him? 

It’s like the intimacy of last night never happened. 

Mac takes the wet, hairy tennis ball from her hands and throws it for Harley. “Do you want a hug or help kicking someone’s ass?” The question earns him a small smile, one that makes Mac’s heart flutter in his chest. 

“I was thinking more along the lines of punching someone in the face, but I suppose we can kick them too,” she quips. Mac laughs, and the corners of Riley’s eyes crinkle as her smile widens. 

“Sounds like a plan.” Harley brings the ball back and drops it at Mac’s feet. “Last throw,” he tells her, knowing full well it won’t be. Turning his attention back to Riley, he asks, “How’s your shoulder?”

Absent-mindedly, Riley’s fingers trace the outline of a bruise peeking out from beneath her tank top. “It hurts. You grabbed it in your sleep last night, and I almost screamed.” 

Mac grimaces. “Sorry.” He wants to ask about last night and make sure they’re okay, but the words refuse to form. “I’m going to call Conrad and make him explain, okay?” 

“Okay.” Riley nods. For a second, it seems like she wants to say something more, but she ultimately doesn’t. Honoring her implicit request for space, Mac briefly squeezes her arm as he walks away. The gesture is a promise: I’m here.

*****

“This is unacceptable,” Mac growls at Ethan, later that day. After giving Conrad an earful over the phone, apparently Mac made a big enough fuss to warrant a visit from the leader of the Patriots himself. They meet in public—neutral ground—at a park not unlike the one across the street from Mac and Riley’s apartment. It feels wrong to use the term safe house, since it’s not as safe as they thought. 

“I’m sorry you feel that way, James,” Ethan placates. “It’s simply standard business procedure. I’m sure you researched us before formally offering your services.” 

Mac barely stops himself from making a face. Oh they researched the Patriots, all right. “Of course we did.” He really should do a better job of holding his snark at bay, but Mac lets it tint his words anyway. “But we didn’t invade individual members’ privacy or threaten anyone’s personal safety.” 

“My employee did not and would not have hurt your wife. She was never in danger, I can assure you.” 

“And how was she supposed to know that?” He’s borderline yelling, but Mac is too pissed to care. The more Ethan tries to convince him the situation is okay, the more Mac wishes they were closer to the playground so he could strangle Ethan with the chain from the swings. He snarls, “Explain that to me.” 

Ethan, it seems, is at a rare loss for words. Mac waits, forcing the other man to fill the silence. “I suppose she wouldn’t have,” Ethan finally admits, although he shows no sign of backing down. 

Mac stands. “Don’t let this happen again.” He starts to walk away, content with having the last word, but Mac stops dead in his tracks when Ethan calls after him. 

“If you won’t comply with the way we do things, then I guess we’ll just have to find someone else.” 

Mac spins on his heel. “That’s bullshit,” he spits. “You need us. You won’t find anyone better, at least not that you can afford, and we both know it. Your organization is small potatoes right now, but with our support, the Patriots could join the big leagues. So it’s up to you to decide whether you’re content with throwing your money at a pipe dream or if you want to actually accomplish something.” Ethan is taller than him, but Mac manages to look down at him anyway—something he learned from Matty. “The choice is yours. Let me know when you’ve made it.” 

Without waiting for a response, Mac shoves his hands in his pockets and walks away, praying he didn’t just ruin the whole op.

.

~ Tag List ~  Want to be added? Send me an ask.

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[emachinescat]

OH MY GOSH. Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh OH. MY. GOSH.

Okay, now that I've gotten that out of my system, here are my thoughts about Diamond + Quake + Carbon + Comms + Tower, in no particular order (spoilers ahead):

THE TRUTH IS OUT. I honestly went into this episode thinking that we were going to be faked out again, but they actually delivered! I loved everything about the reveal, though I think it was super irresponsible of Desi to throw out her comms because she didn't like what she heard, especially after Matty expressly told her not to.

I am honestly shocked that they gave Leanna's storyline closure. I never cared for her as a character myself, but I always loved how much Bozer cared about her. Justin's acting in this episode was phenomenal. It broke my heart. Great continuity, and amazing angst!

Okay, so you know at the beginning when Mac is talking about pressure? Yeeeaaahh, he's not just talking about diamonds. I'm not sure how the writers intended us to read that scene, but I did not see happy, entergetic man preparing to propose. I saw a man barely holding it together, on the verge of cracking, laughing and smiling and acting so exuberant in an effort to stave off everything bad he is feeling. There was a sense of wrongness about his energy in the beginning, like he's breaking apart at the seams. It was funny and cute, don't get me wrong, but... It was also chilling.

Look at Bozer putting Riley's feelings first. And the part of the conversation we hear during the big reveal is pretty much everything I could have dreamed. I still can't believe that MAC KNOWS.

The WHUMP in this episode!!! Hit by a car, out of breath after being forced to run for miles, the emotional manipulation and stress. And of course, Murdoc beating him to a pulp, all that manhandling and punching and shoving... Excellent whump.

I am, however, sorely disappointed in the lack of aftercare/consequences. At the VERY LEAST, Mac should have been moving stiffly, arms cradling his midsection, hunched over in pain. Come on, writers. People don't get the crap beat out of them and then walk away like it's nothing.

Again, though, the whump itself was excellent.

I also love the fact that this whole thing was a plot to get and execute Mac so that Andrews could take over Codex. I love a good revenge plot, and the fact that they were broadcasting the killing to Codex leaders gave me all the whumperflies.

Regarding the plot in and of itself, it doesn't make a ton of sense. I guess Murdoc chose to beat Mac to draw out the death and force him to suffer more, so that the revenge would be sweeter?? But I don't believe Murdoc could have actually killed him. He can't lose his rival, his muse, his favorite toy (an idea I explore in one of my fics, actually). I also don't really get why he would team up with Andrews. Well, my best guess is that he just wanted to play with Mac and Phoenix, and Andrews provided that opportunity.

Speaking of Murdoc, he was ON POINT. I adored every minute of his time on screen. And you all heard it too - he actually declared his love for Mac with the "better to have loved and murdered" line!! That just further proves his creepy, possessive obsession with Mac (another thing I explored in my fic)! So yes, Murdoc was the perfect villain. The only complaint is that I think he would have used Jack's death against them.

As far as Andrews goes, I do think he was criminally underused. He was such a great villain with so much potential, but there was almost no reason for him to be there with the way they used him. And I was very disappointed that his chain never ended up around Mac's neck.

Desi was... Interesting this episode. I'm not going any deeper into Mac's intended proposal, because they made it very clear that he is rushing things because of the losses (another mention of Jack, by the way!) and because of how close he is to caving under the pressure. But yeah, Desi was sometimes frustrating and difficult, but she was resigned and understanding at the end?? I'm not sure how to read her anymore.

I adored Russ in this episode. I love him anyway, but his energy, angst, angry breakdown... They were incredible.

The earthquake plot was unique too! I do wish we'd get a bit more MacGyvering in this season, though.

As a whole, everyone's acting was on a whole new level in this one! I was blown away by each and every performance!

Finally, THAT CLIFFHANGER. I am DYING!!!! So cruel. I really, really hope they do it justice in the next episode, which I cannot wait for!!

Overall, this has by far been my favorite episode this season! So, so, so good, despite my few nitpicks. I actually cannot get over just how much I enjoyed it - can't wait to watch it again tomorrow! :)

[fakeloveaskblog]

For the thruth or dare,

Remy, tell them what happened to your cane.

(cw Lots of mentions of U!Virgil)

The gang had been busy discussing the best high school movies when your question came in. They quieted and the twins sent Remy happy looks, expecting some funny story. Janus looked them up and down to see their reaction.

Remy's smile didn't falter. Their hands started to pierce the needle through the fabric they were holding faster and faster.

"Oh my cane? Pff that's tots boring. Wow this gal has never played truth or dare huh. Fucking newbie" They laughed out "Anyway y'all hear about that like halloween party that's gonna happen at the gay bar? Y'know the one"

Rowan's eyes widened. She shook Remus around "!!! I was supposed to be away filming during Halloween but if those plans have changed- which they have- that means I can celebrate Halloween here!!! I am gonna be so gay! Oh where is my Morticia!?"

Remus pretended to draw in the air while looking at his sister.

"Oh right! Dukey here have been sketching up some real banging costumes so you better be ready to be destroyed!"

"Girl please. You haven't seen me and my boyf. Halloween is the only time of the year I can get Virgil to parties. We go HARD. We've been Jack and sally, The demolition lovers, Jessica and Roger Rabbit, Murdoc and 2D and oh gosh girl we peaked at our JD and Veronica look when Virge was like obsessed with that movie!"

"I've only seen the musical but that does sound very fashionable. NOT as fashionable as me and Remus going as Mabel and Dipper in zombie form though"

'i was mabel' Remus added.

"A very annoying and good one yes!"

"There's a musical?!" Remy asked.

"OF COUrse there is!!!! People die Remington!"

She started to babble on about how good the heathers songs and costuming was. Remus added a few comments about the murders. Remy ranted back about the movie.

Janus sat silent among them. He was holding onto the fabric of his pants so hard his knuckles whitened. There was a choking feeling in his throat.

"-Yeah gal I even have like this scar on my wrist" Remy dragged their shirt down to show it "From when Virge wanted to like recreate that scene where JD lits a cigarette from Veronica's burn wound 'cause he thought it was tots romantic and super hot. Literally"

Rowan grimaced "I wouldn't per say see anything JD does as romantic but maybe he's different in the movie"

"Probs 'cause girl Virge wanted to be JD so bad. JD and Gerard Way. Coolest bitches he knew. Wouldn't stop talking 'bout them. Loved mimicki-"

'how are your hands still alive?' The sound of Remus' text to speech app interrupted them.

He pointed at their hands which was still flawlessly sewing together the requested trans flag even though they had been looking at the twins for the past 15 minutes.

'my hands would have been minced' He smiled at the thought 'remind me to draw that later. bloody. nails flailing off'

Remy looked down at the needle before quickly looking up again "Oh this? It's just like muscle memory. It's nothing"

'its cool. exclamation point. exclamation point. exclamation point. youre so smart with your not blood gushing fingers'

They started to blush and looked away in the way they always did every time anyone even implied they were good at anything "Nah babe it's stupid. I promise. Anyone could do it. It's- I'm just stupid"

Remus looked incredibly offended for their sake. He began to furiously write into the app but before he could finish his sentence-

"You didn't answer" Janus suddenly said.

"What?" Remy's smile tightened.

He looked at them as if he could see right into their bones "You didn't answer the question. last time I checked you're supposed to answer if you choose truth"

Remy put down the flag. It was half sewed. They turned to Janus and forced a happy expression that didn't reach their eyes.

"Girl it's just my cane it ain't that riveting"

'dont have to say if you dont want to' Remus reminded.

"Well if the story is nothing special then you shouldn't have a problem telling it" janus replied without taking his eyes off Remy.

Rowan glanced between the two. The tension was so palpable if she tried to touch it the tension would punch her into Canada. She reached for the popcorn.

"Well you didn't say anything about the halloween party! You going? I'm sure if you do you'll be with your nice lil Logie" Remy said with just a hint of venom on their tongue.

Janus wanted to snarl back how at least he wouldn't be with a person who called him a whore but he held it back "You're blatantly avoiding the question. Not suspicious at all" He did a fake gasp "Don't tell me you committed murder with that cane! What shock!"

They rolled their eyes "Fine! Sure! Virgil broke it! He hit it over the kitchen table until it split in two! Are you happy now? That's what you wanted to hear right!?"

"Don't you need that?" Rowan's voice was a bit quieter than usual as she asked. Her smile had disappeared in an instant "Why would he do that? Are you o-"

"It's not like that! Ugh girl this is why I didn't wanna have to talk about it. I knew you gals wouldn't get it! Look I'd suddenly just like been gone for over a day without any explanation! I barely even responded to any of his very many texts! So when he picked me up of course he's gonna be mad after I put him through like 24 hours of constant anxiety and panic attacks and- it was just a teensy argument that's all! The neighbors didn't even complain about the noise this time! That just shows how little he yelled!!"

It felt like a hole had been carved out in the middle of Janus' chest. Oh god it must have happened after they had been to the amusement park. He could have stopped it.

"So he just broke your cane?!" Rowan half exclaimed.

"He just had to make it even harder for you to leave huh" janus added in a much colder tone.

"Girl he wasn't thinking! He's not some evil mastermind like you seem to think! He just panicked okay!? He didn't mean to go that far! He said sorry and that obviously it will never happen again! He was the one who taped it together again for fucks sake!"

"I don't usually break my loved ones belongings when I panic. Especially not belongings that help alleviate pain" Janus spat back.

"I can't help but agree"

Remy looked at them like an animal backed into a corner. They glanced over to Remus who met their eyes.

'okay guys calm down. it was a mistake. a one time thing' Remus quickly wrote 'he didnt mean to. youre just stressing remy out'

"You being on their side just worries me more honestly" Rowan muttered.

"I am quite sure it takes more than a moment to forcibly take someones cane and break it. You can not seriously say it was just an accident!" Janus shot his arms out as he said it.

"AM I? Girl do you really think I am??? HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM!?" They shut their eyes tightly to force back tears "Fuck! I just knew it! I just knew no matter what you said you think I'm just as stupid and annoying and useless as everyone else!"

Janus reached out to comfort them but they flinched back "I- I didn't mean to imply that. I think what Virgil is doing sounded wrong"

"Of course I know what Virgil did is wrong! Obviously!! That's why I'm mad at him!! I'm not speaking to him! I'm here ain't I! You all just make me sound fucking crazy every time Virgil is brought up 'cause you force me to defend him!"

'cant we go back to playing truth or dare?' Remus suggested but Rowan accidentally spoke over him.

"You shouldn't have to defend your partners action! Are you even hearing yourself right now!?" Janus nodded along.

"Oh girl please! As if Jannie here wouldn't defend his oh so precious Logan if I called him an overemotional whiny asshole!"

"It's not the same thing. I have a reason to be mad at Virgil at least! He's-"

"SHUT UP! I don't wanna hear whatever bullshit Logan has talked you into! I- I mean if Virgil was that bad wouldn't I be so fucking brainwashed so I wouldn't even be here right now?! Huh? I would have thought him breaking my cane was just fine Right? Gals you are just not making sense!"

"WELL THEN! I guess I am sorry I lo- care about you!" Janus was close to yelling.

"AND I'M SORRY THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS YOU IS SOME WHINY LIBRARIAN WHO LOVES YOU SO LITTLE HE HAS TO DATE OTHER PEOPLE TO MAKE UP FOR WHAT YOU LACK!!" Remy yelled back.

It took a moment before Remy realized what they'd said. They flinched and put their hand over their mouth. Janus didn't move, didn't say anything, his eyes filled with tears.

"I-" Remy's eyes darted across the room "I'm sorry. I didn't- I really didn't mean that. I just- You all were implying Virgil- I- I'm sorry"

They quickly stood up. They looked over to Remus for a moment but their friend had closed his eyes and covered his ears to try and force out the arguing.

Remy stormed out of the apartment. Leaving an emptiness to fill the room.

Rowan quietly took a piece of paper and scribbled down her number before handing it to Janus "Here. In case you ever need to call me to help them"

Janus held the note in his shaking hands. Rowan turned to her brother and mumbled reminders to breathe and gross jokes about biology to get him to calm down.

"....someone should go after them." Janus mumbled "..we can't just let them leave like that...I..we-"

'you need to stop turning every moment of caring about them or whatever into an argument. youre just making things worse like that' Remus wrote without looking at him.

"I know" He sighed "I know"

'it was just a one time mistake anyway. we're not a part of the relationship. we shouldnt butt in like some some buttholes. its their thing to sort out. youre all overeacting'

Rowan didn't have the energy to argue back against him right now. She knew it was useless. "It's not like all of us can go after them. That will make them feel trapped again"

Janus sighed even more "Seeing me will probably just make them more mad"

"And me and Remy are basically strangers" Rowan added.

Neither of them said anything but both thought that Remus was probably too mentally brittle to do much to help Remy right now.

"Then I suppose we have no idea who should go after them"

Janus and Rowan both turned to look at you, Remus looked down at the half sewn flag. You usually had the answers. Maybe you could have it this time as well.