#oh to be an immortal demon falling in love with an immortal angel god is that seriously too much to ask

[fearandhatred]

love like theirs will NOT surely come my way actually

[cheeekycharchar]

The Forbidden Fruit, Choices and Fear

[A GOOD OMENS META ANALYSIS OF AZIRAPHALE POST S2] I know everyone is still upset about that gut punch of an ending to GO S2.. and many are also extra upset at Aziraphale.. I'm in so much pain over it too but.. I have to rationalize that damned "I forgive you" line that broke all our hearts to comfort me until we get S3.. I basically overanalyze our favorite cocoa loving Angel to explain his reaction to the kiss and why we all need to be a lil kinder to him.

2500 BC in the Land of Uz.. Aziraphale, the Angel of the Eastern Gate, had the fear of God put into him. And this affected the rest of his immortal life up until that kiss.

Angels, after the Fall and the great war between Heaven and Hell, had the fear of the Almighty's wrath put into them. They all fell in line and stayed in line. Or else they'd end up like their fallen brethren.. or worse. But there was one lil Angel that had since toed that line..

"Didn't you have a flaming sword? Yeah, it was flaming like anything." "…Gaveitaway.." "You what?" "I gave it away!" As far as we've seen, this is the first time Aziraphale did something "bad". And he's already feeling the pressure. The guilt. The fear. He didn't follow the rules. He didn't do exactly as he was told. And suddenly, here's a Demon slithering up next to him and making him doubt his choice even more. The same Demon that snuck past the guardians of Eden and tempted the first human's into eating the apple, breaking the rules and getting them kicked out of paradise on Earth.

"Bit of an over reaction if you ask me. First offence and everything. I can't see what's so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil anyway. "Well, it must be bad.. [..] Otherwise.. you wouldn't have tempted them into it." "Not very subtle of the Almighty, though. Fruit tree in the middle of a garden with a 'Don't Touch' sign. Makes you wonder what God's really planning." "Best not to speculate. It's all part of the Great Plan. It's not for us to understand. It's ineffable. It is beyond understand and incapable of being put into words."

Already the seeds of doubt are tinkering in his mind. Stay in line. No more questioning the Almighty's plans. That's what got all the bad Angels thrown out of Heaven and then Adam and Eve exiled too.

"I do hope I didn't do the wrong thing." "Oh, you're an angel. I don't think you can do the wrong thing." "Oh, thank you. It's been bothering me." "I've been worrying, too. What if I did the right thing with the whole 'eat the apple' business? A demon can get into a lot of trouble for doing the right thing. It'd be funny if we both got it wrong, eh? If I did the good thing and you did the bad one." *chuckles* "..No. It wouldn't be funny at all!"

And then we get to season two's opening reveal. Crowley and Aziraphale had actually met before the wall of Eden.

"But that's idiocy!" {…} "It's not our job to advise the Almighty on the details of creation." "Well, then whose job is it?" {…} "Well, if I was the one running it all, I'd like it if someone asked questions. Fresh point of view."

And thanks to Aziraphale mentioning the Great Plan to Angel Crowley.. it put seeds of doubt into his mind. Making him question the Almighty's plans.

".. I'd hate to see you getting into any trouble." "Thanks for your help. And thanks for your advice. I wouldn't worry though. How much trouble can I get into just for asking a few questions?"

And then 10 million Angels fell. Kicked out of Heaven and marked as evil, unforgivable, and without God's love for eternity. Then we get the flashback to the story of a a prosperous man of outstanding piety named Job and how his life was destroyed because of a bet between God and Satan to test his faith even in adversity.

"What did he [Job] do? "Job? Nothing. Job's the nicest man in the world. That's why he's so perfect for the bet. You see, God was saying how righteous Job was and how much Job loved God. And Satan pointed out-- that maybe that was just 'cause God's been so nice to him. ..God's letting Satan destroy everything Job has. And then we'll see."

Now remember, the great flood wasn't too long ago. Where the Almighty wiped out nearly all of the human race with a big storm cause they were tetchy aka simply irritable, bad-tempered and annoyed. So this time, Aziraphale actually questions Heaven about this bet when he finds out that Job's children will be killed.

"Trust in God's plan, Aziraphale. Always." "Of course. So, once Job's trials are over, everything is restored to him?" "Even better than that. God will reward him with twice as much as he had before." {…} "I think they quite like the old ones [Job's children].. And if.. we kill them-" "-Aziraphale… we are the good guys. We're not killing anyone. What we are doing is simply not stopping hell. What they do is up to them."

His faith is wavering. He can hardly believe that Heaven would actually destroy a good man's family without truly understanding the fragility and consequences of human life/death; all to test him on a bet.

"Are we sure that Sitis wants to give birth four more times?"

Furthermore, they would be forcing Job's wife to give birth 7 more times despite Aziraphale's warning of them loving their original 3 children and that Sitis may not actually want to give birth to more children at her age. Hence taking away her choice. But thankfully, good ol' Crowley is the worst demon ever and is secretly protecting Job's children and goats. Something they're keeping between the two of them. And then during this deception… Crowley tempts Aziraphale with his first bite of food.

"Have an ox rib." "Are you trying to tempt me?" "Not at all. Angels can't be tempted, can you?" "Certainly not." "Well, there you are then. You're free to try the food."

A temptation he quickly falls into. A choice to eat the food and enjoy it to gluttony. Another sin under his belt. In the end, Virtuous Job passed his test but had the shit reward in return. Except Crowley and Aziraphale secretly saved the children.. which lead to Aziraphale lying straight to Heaven.. again.

And this is where he finally falls apart.

"I'm ready to go." "Go where?" "To Hell." {….} "But you have to. I'm like you now.. A demon.." "You think you're a demon?" "I'm a fallen angel! I lied.. To thwart the will of God." "Well yeah, you did, but I'm not gonna tell anybody. ..Are you?" *shakes head no* "No. Then nothing has to change, does it?" "…But what am I?" "You're just an angel who goes along with Heaven as far as he can." "That sounds um.." "Lonely?" "Yeah. But you said it wasn't." "I'm a demon. I lied."

As Crowley always tells him- Demons lie. And Aziraphale lied. Again. And now they're keeping this huge secret between the two of them. To never be spoken of or else possibly face the wrath of God. THIS scene right in this minisode here is SUCH an important part of Aziraphale's character and his future choices. And that's what it's all about, isn't it? Choices? The ability to choose between good and evil.

"Look, I am good. You, I'm afraid, are evil. But people get a choice. You know, they cannot be truly holy unless they also get the opportunity to be wicked." "Yeah, that only works if you start everyone off equal. You can't start someone off like that and expect her to do as well as someone born in a castle." "Ah, but no, no. That's the good bit. The lower you start, the more opportunities you have."

What we learn from this wee Scottish body snatching story is that something can be seen as evil but could actually be a good deed from a different perspective. And that Aziraphale truly believed that the lower you start, the more opportunities you could have. But he also believes in divine punishment. Punishment that can be dealt at any time for any thing. Big or small. From a few questions that make you lose God's love to selling corpses for survival money and accidentally getting your best friend killed or just having too much faith in God could destroy everything in your life for a bet. All of which he has witnessed with someone good (Crowley, Job, Elspeth, etc) losing everything that's important to them in the most horribly way. But Aziraphale remembers the hard lessons he learned; of inequality and responsibility of your actions and the choices you make.

Someone born into poverty doesn't get as much out of life as someone born into a rich lifestyle. Or.. a lowly snake and a lowly principality falling in love and being forgiven may not be as easily dismissed as a Duke of Hell and Archangel finding love in one another and simply being allowed to run away to the stars together without any punishment. It's all of these moments, these lessons that Aziraphale learns throughout the years that change his view on life but he still remembers the wrath of God throughout existence. Something as little as a question could get you kicked out of Heaven, eating an apple could get you banished from paradise or you could be the most faithful perfect and loved person and still have your entire life destroyed over a bet. What does he know most about the Almighty? They're "tetchy" and unpredictable.

"Aziraphale, Angel of the Eastern Gate. Where is the flaming sword I gave you, Aziraphale, to guard the Gate of Eden?"

He then conceals the truth to God themselves of the choice he made to give humanity a fighting chance of survival by giving his holy sword away. And is left alone without another word. Forced to walk on egg shells for the rest of his existence out of fear.

"So, giving the mortals a flaming sword. How did that work out for you?" "The Almighty has never actually mentioned it again.." "Probably a good thing."

That fear of the unknown consequences to his past actions.. his lies.. for good or for bad.. he could fall at any moment or lose everything he holds precious (aka his Angel-ness and Crowley).

"I'm not an idiot, Crowley. Do you know what trouble I'd be in if.. if they knew I'd been fraternizing? It's completely out of the question." "Fraternizing?!" "Well, whatever you wish to call it. I do not think there is any point in discussing it further."

So what does he always do? Deflects.. to protect himself. To protect Crowley. Not saying the real truth out loud. Keeping the reality of their relationship an unsaid secret like always.

But sometimes, actions speak louder than words.

"Should I say thank you?" "Better not."

Yet again, he breaks the rules. Doesn't even want to hear a thank you. Again, it must all go unsaid.

"You go too fast for me."

Crowley has always been one step ahead of him. Asking questions, falling, breaking the rules, etc. Aziraphale isn't ready yet. He's not ready to lose everything he holds dear to him by admitting out loud all of his sinful choices or else face the punishment he's been fearing for thousands of years.

"Go off together?" "How long have we been friends? Six thousand years."

Aziraphale starts panicking here. Crowley is saying too much out loud. Deny deny deny.

"Friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon. We have nothing whatsoever in common. I don't even like you."

This bandstand breakup was literally Aziraphale freaking out about doing too many bad things dealing with the whole anti-Christ situation and Crowley getting too close to saying what they truly are to each other. But the fear is too much and he lies again. But this time to himself. Aziraphale has only ever wanted to do the good thing. To make the correct choices. To be on the right side. But he's always faltered. Made choices that he was sure were the bad ones. Lied on occasion. Kept secrets from Heaven and God. Given into temptations. And has always had this fear of God's Almighty wrath hanging over his head for millennia. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop. At any moment, everything will be taken away. But what could be the last straw? The straw that finally breaks the camel's back? To garner God's attention and punishment. It has to be something big. The biggest and most important part of his life. Something that matters to him more than anything in the world. His relationship with the Demon, Crowley. But he's learned. If you don't say it out loud.. if you keep it to yourself. Then you won't be punished. It's worked out for him so far. So why should he think otherwise? And then in the end of S2E6, Metatron gives him the opportunity to make a change to the Heavenly system. His chance to restore his best friend to his former holy glory. A chance to relieve all the suffering he's seen throughout history. A chance to make a difference. Despite all his secret sins, he's being given an unbelievable opportunity- one that proves that maybe he isn't as bad as he always thought he was. He's actually seen as worthy. But then Crowley gets angry about all this. He's against it all. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want to be an Angel again. He doesn't want to return to Heaven. He just wants to be with Aziraphale. And he finally says their best kept, unsaid secret out loud. With a love confession and a passionate kiss.

"You idiot. We could have been… us."

Aziraphale wants this more than anything but every instinct inside of him is screaming to stop it, to not let anyone see, to not let anyone know the truth. This final temptation. His one and true forbidden fruit that is the Demon Crowley.. and it's the one he knows he must resist at all costs.

The fear is overpowering. And the only words that come from his lips…

"I forgive you."

I forgive you for letting our unsaid secret out. I forgive you for trying to tempt me. I forgive you for refusing to join me in Heaven as a renewed Angel. But can he ever truly forgive himself for the choice he just made? Remember, in the end, Aziraphale is just afraid. Afraid to lose everything. Afraid to lose Crowley. Fear of punishment can be traumatizing after all. And it will all be fixed in S3. ;) HAVE FAITH IN GAIMAN!

..Sorry this was so long and drawn out but… I NEED SEASON 3 ALREADY.. (everyone! keep re-watching GO2 on Prime! and no more threats to the creators plz ^-^) Honestly, this was very cathartic to write and help me come to terms with the most heart wrenching painful TV kiss of all time D: But I need to see how their story unfolds. I need to see Aziraphale allow himself to make the choice to be with Crowley without fear of punishment. I NEED MY INEFFIBLE HUSBANDS. TOGETHER. T^T

PS. Literally as I was finishing writing this, I saw Neil Gaiman himself say this on his Tumblr, "But the story of Job is pretty central to the whole Good Omens conversation, including Aziraphale's bit of it." OMG I KNEW IT lololol

[aziraphales-library]

love this blog sm, thank you for your work :)

Got any reunion fics, of them being reunited after being worried about each other. Everything under reunion tags seem to be break-up related and I'm looking for more of a hurt/comfort thing

You might be interested in our #kidnapping tag, as those fics often include separation, worry, and hurt/comfort. Here are some non-break up reunion fics...

Quietude by actualchangeling (G)

When the weight of the world had become too much to bear, Crowley had reached out for the comforts of sleep. Now, a year later, coming home to the one being he has ever considered family, he discovers it is easier to share it than to escape it.

Someday I'm Gonna Be Free, Lord by MnemonicMadness (T)

“How have you… whiled away the last two years?” He supposes it is a better conversational starter than Still a demon, then?, if only slightly. The silence shaped to fit where the words my dear might ordinarily go somehow feels even quieter. “Oh, uh, uhm… Yeah, whiling, it’s been a while, lots of… you know. Wiles. A very wily while. You know how it is.” “Yes, quite.” He hesitates, rethinking his answer. “Well, no, wiles aren’t really my department. Blessings, though, and a miracle here and there. It’s been rather peaceful.” Lonely, he doesn’t say. - A tale of love, Love, ineffability, and loopholes.

Lost and Found by Nadare (T)

When Aziraphale is late for a date, Crowley instantly knows he's in trouble. His journey to find Aziraphale will take him to old and new places, as well as reveal what's truly important in the end.

I Jump Off And Into Your Arms But I Can't Trust The Fall by adashofblue (T)

Excerpt from fic: "Akin to a snap of one’s fingers, the world the angel had come to know; his tidy little bookshop and home - was gone, and replaced by a blinding light." Or, Aziraphale falls. Will he be able to escape Hell and return to his husband?

Be My Light by fractalgeometry (T)

Aziraphale has a headache. Heaven has a vendetta. Crowley is very not okay with his angel disappearing without warning. Neither he nor Aziraphale like the dark, or the idea of spending unknown amounts of time away from Earth against their will. Clearly, they have to get back to normal. The problem is, how?

My Favorite Ghost by DiminishingReturns (T)

Decades after the world didn’t end, Heaven and Hell got their war — and nearly destroyed everything in the process. When Aziraphale finally manages to reacquire a corporation and return to Earth, he discovers he was gone longer than he thought and the planet has become unrecognizable. As he searches for Crowley and tries to figure out how he fits in a world that Heaven, Hell, and God have all wiped their hands of, nature works around him to reclaim the bones of an old civilization as the scraps of humanity build a new one. A lush and optimistic post-apocalypse story, told from the POV of an immortal who can't let go of the past.

- Mod D

[idkfitememate]

Alright listen Mora!Reader is nearly done but I just had a truly awful idea and I’m listening to Extreme/Brazilian Funk rn so I’m on a mind high okay so here’s the tea (never saying that again):

So we know that Obey Me doesn’t follow the Bible in anyway whatsoever really, so why not make the entire game angsty because I’m tried? Bet, making shit angsty is my specialty.

So anyway, that’s where new character/reader comes in: Adam/Eve! And when I put their names together like that, I mean they are the same person. They were made in a way that allows them to flip flop between both genders and sex’s so like they have the best of both worlds. Good a cooking and cleaning and sewing and child stuff as well as hunting and war and providing and so on and so forth.

Now here’s the kicker, they’re the human Lilith meets.

And *poof* love blossoms. She’s like “Awe cute little human~” and they’re like “Wow a being beyond my mortal comprehension! Neat!” Love.

So all the “God doesn’t want me here” shit goes down and instead of being like “aw don’t listen to him baby stay down here with us humans” they’re like “Then??? Stop visiting me??? If The Father doesn’t want that????”

So anyway war starts and she dies-

And their like “OH NO MY LOVE” so they chase after her falling body and try to catch her but end up slipping off a cliff and being forced to watch as Lucifer does the deal thingy with Dia and then they also get reincarnated with her.

But not for good reason oh no, they’re immortal now and forced to watch as she lives her life and watch her descendants live their lives as well.

Also they’ve been instilled with the 7 deadly sins, but the 7 heavenly virtues are still stuck in em as another punishment so they can go “Imma gonna rob this bank😏” “you could use this to feed the poor😇” “NOOOOO-“

They start off being okay with the brothers and still praying but soon (and by soon I mean over the course of thousands of years) it turns into them owing a shrine in their house for the soul purpose of of praying to God to shit on him.

“So today I learned that Lilith’s 243rd descendent is a world leader. That’s cool. Bet you didn’t see that coming huh you fucking bitch? Bet you weren’t counting on that were you whore? Hope your ass sits on an angel with a shockingly sharp halo.”

Yeah they’re pissy which is fair.

And then, the cherry on top?

They get invited to R.A.D. as a human participant.

Now, last they checked this did seem like something Dia would do (they never had bad blood with him) but DAMNIT why them???

They are so fucking tired dude, when they get down there the demon brothers try to scare them and they probably say at some point “Oooooo Beel’s gonna eat you oooooo!!!1!1!11” And they just… rip their leg off and throw it at him before using an ancient magic to rapid fire heal their leg back to perfect health and walk away, leaving them in shock.

I’m sorry it’s late and like I said Mora!Reader is nearly done but this idea (that I know FULL WELL I didn’t articulate right) hasn’t left my mind as well as another that I might dump in a while lmao. Mmm just asshole Adam/Eve!Reader(??? Would anyone read that??-) who is tired of the brothers bullshit and ready to throw Belphie through a wall for coddling them hehe ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

Also I’m open to questions if anyone has any (I doubt it lol) hehe got to many ideas ૮꒰ ˶꒦ິ꒳꒦ິ˶꒱ა♡

Anyway bye-

[seongminiz]

pls!! i was about to ask u if u received it or not but also i didn’t want to rush u into replying lol 👉🏻👈🏻😔

what do u think of. too. like. i love what u said and if juyeon keeps going deeper into depravity (forgive me if that doesn’t make sense) um he begins to grow horns?😈😈 and becomes a demon as well and it’s all because he would rather lust over u than be an angel or smth idk

also. idk if this is too fucked up or doesn’t make sense? but like. if u literally become addicted to their cum and are unable to function unless you’ve been fucked and filled up by them (i’m talking jumil) recently? like u get sick if they don’t take care of you and they mock u a lot for being unable to survive with their attention.. idk if that’s too weird tho so😶

pls rizz!matthew is always doing a fish eye stare of some kind pls!!🤭🤭 he’s so funny my little loser /pos

so yes i also loved everything u said and how he would manhandle u but then also!!!! i desperately need jiwoong to wreck u and break u down and punish u for being such a spoiled little silver spoon gobbling brat!!!!!! need him to cum all over ur face and humiliate you omg.. (jiwoong filming u??🫢 jiwoong filming u and matt together maybe.. idk) i need some fuckin humiliation of both u and matthew at his hands oh god

- 🧁 anon

im rlly sorry i just didnt see the notif this morning n then was out the whole day 😕

(mattwoong sandwich part is under the cut btw i yap too much for my own good)

NO YEA THATS EXACTLY WHERE I WAS TRYING TO GO WITH THAT‼️ angel juyo who starts to grow horns n whose wings start falling apart n getting darker the more hes attracted to you and wants to ruin you 💔💔💔 n hyunjae 'teaching' him how to be a demon (= how to ruin u even more) n omg !! needing their cum to live .. thats insane but also i love fuck or die situations so ,, :3 not to get too fucked up but ngl since they're both immortal i think sometimes they'd hold the 'threat' of not giving you their cum and letting u die instead . they won't do it , probably , and they have a way of making you an immortal demon too if something goes wrong and you do die bc they could never let you go - BUT its such a fucked sadistic thing of them to do and sometimes when you get a little too spoiled they need to remind you what your place is and that you are the fucktoy here :3

im like 95% sure this made no sense help

nowww 🥪 mattwoong sandwich 🥪 time‼️‼️‼️

srry this has some slight pet play n maybe dubcon idk i use the word 'forcing' but its not rlly forced omfg im rambling . idk . i went insane bye

im sorry my brain just tunnel visioned on jiwoong filming u n matt omg ★_★ it's so humiliating bc he's calling both of you his desperate puppies who can't wait for their owner and need to mess around behind his back ,, giving you orders on what to do and how to do it , forcing your head so you have no choice but to kiss matt , making out with him until you're both two drooling messes grinding on each other for any kind of release - and ofc jiwoong films all the little disgusting details , like how your spit runs down your chin and the pathetic wet patch at the front of matthew's shorts , and maybe gropes your tits a little and pinches your nipples through your top just to make you squeal and whine for his enjoyment („• ᴗ •„) calls you a spoiled brat n his little slut , and calls matthew a dirty mutt who can only think with his dick omfgfhfbf im going crazy

now i'm thinking of jiwoong having you n matt on ur knees right in front of him to suck n worship his cock too ohhhh i feel sick

[kotias]

Aziraphale, the angel, dances.

Crowley, the demon, doesn't dance.

From the beginning, they have both been playing with the lines between what it means to be an angel and a demon, and those are the little details that show it.

Aziraphale ends up being the one who brings Crowley into the world of the humans, and not the other way around. Sure, Crowley gave him the first taste of it, but he is the one, later in history, introducing Crowley to oysters, inviting him to eat crêpes in Paris, inviting him to the Ritz for the first time.

Aziraphale is also much less afraid of objects made for killing (guns, swords), while Crowley is very wary of them (never used a gun before having to do it for Aziraphale's magic trick).

To me, it shows that Crowley indeed only "sauntered vaguely downwards", being much more of the "annoyance" type than a real menace to humanity. He has a brilliant mind to destroy the morale of people, and kind of rips their humanities away by constructing long-term projects that put to shame any other demon, but he says it himself: the horrors that humanity does are beyond what he could imagine, or happen quicker than he can devise his plans entirely.

And in the end, when he sees that people are about to doom themselves to certain Hell, he saves them from perdition.

Crowley's problem with Heaven isn't that he is a demon and that's what a demon does; his problem with Heaven is that he doesn't understand why he deserved Falling.

And that is why he has such a hard time accepting words like "kind", "nice", or to be forgiven: those words always come when he is at his most natural, doing something as a gut reaction.

To him, that's not being nice, that's being who he is, and a Fallen Angel has been established to be "not nice".

He is playing a role, through and through, but at core, he is still an angel who doesn't know why he has been cast an Unforgivable.

It is his way of being "grey": he keeps his angelic values, but plays the part of a demon.

Meanwhile, Aziraphale's way of joining the "grey side" is by relinquishing some of his values, when he sees that they are flawed:

no dancing

listening to the Music of the Spheres only

no eating, no alcohol, no "material world" consuming

using the words "oh lord", "God", "by Heaven", "for Heaven's sake", etc. (note here that Crowley NEVER uses those expressions, or fumbles hard trying to use them but being very awkward about them)

He takes great pleasure in those things.

He is still a beautiful sunshine, who definitely loves playing the part of the naive little angel for Mr Anthony J. Crowley to help out, but he also seems to be the one initiating those little "games" with him, making the most out of their immortal lives together; because he is "just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing".

(the gif below is his reaction to that compliment that Crowley gives him and oh my god I cannot believe some people can think he's not in love)

But that is where it is interesting: Aziraphale is probably the closest thing to who Crowley was as an angel. Investigative, questionning the Greater Plans and working as he thinks is best.

Crowley has some experience with being lonely and confused, and he likes asking his questions. That is, in fact, what pushes Aziraphale out of his "everything is perfect and jolly" state of mind and pushes him to lie to Gabriel eventually.

And that is the essence of why Crowley and Aziraphale are so attached to each other: they understand where the other is coming from.

All this to say: they have been feeding each other's light and darkness for 6000 years, at this point they're both the perfectly neutral shade of grey.

[multiverse-imagines]

Forbidden_Hanyou of ao3 asked!

A request for my friend as there is not enough Wolfwood content? I was thinking maybe something where Wolfwood is an angel (a fallen one maybe?), and the reader is a demon? The forbidden love type deal? Not sure how they met, but would be nice to read something with a little fluff and angst

A/N: it gives Good Omens vibes ✨ love me a forbidden love trope! Also, this has a TriMax spoiler, as it uses TriMax continuity! (Not that it changed too much???) Just a warning!

Til the End of The Universe, I Guess

They've been a pain in my ass since The Fall. Not the one to Gunsmoke, but that one too I guess. The Fall that I mean is my fall from grace. I remember it almost too well. I remember the burning. It didn't matter that I was falling at thrice the average velocity, I was on fire.

My wings. The beautiful pearly wings I had once taken so much pride in, ones which I often received compliments on, crackled, popped and sizzled, turning a deep charcoal, nearly Raven black. The heat was so unbearable that I nearly passed out four times. The action itself maybe took a minute, but felt like a thousand years. I don't remember the impact.

When I awoke, I was in the bed of a small cottage. At my bedside tending to my wounds, was a demon of all things. I hated myself for gawking at the beauty they held, despite once being my immortal enemy on principle.

To the trained eye, you could tell their skin was a redder shade just off of that of a humans, a set of horns, also unable to be witnessed by humans, protruded from the back of their head, curving up over their head. The horns stopped just above their eyebrows, threatening to stab their eyes if they didn't cut off the ends of their horns. The ends were flat, and unsharpened. I had met a few demons in my day, but none so undemon-looking, and none so beautiful.

"Oh, you're awake." They spoke gently, as not to spook me, "Can you move? Flip over and I'll get your back." They turned to me revealing a goopy mixture in a small wooden bowl.

"What is that?" My voice, now hoarse, growled at them.

"A mixture of Divine water and Lily of the Desert." It was then I noticed they were wearing thick arm and hand coverings. Such a holy mixture would surely burn my newly acquired caretaker, yet they were still willing to tend to my wounds.

"I got most of your visible form while you were asleep, but I was unable to start on your wings. Can you move well? Can you lay on your stomach?" They asked. Noting I could move with only a minimal ache in my newly human body, I flipped over into my stomach, propping myself up with the pillow that was once under my head.

"So… What's your name, Little Angel?" They asked as I felt the mixture being pressed to my butchered wings.

"I guess in the human's language it would be- tch! Ow!" I spat at a tender spot, "Nicholas D. Wolfwood."

"Quite the fancy name, Mr. Wolfwood." Their giggle sounded like the chimes of clashing metal before they spoke their own name to me.

"Ah, Sunspot." I mused.

"Excuse me?"

"Sunspot. I'm really bad with names, so I give nicknames to remember people by." A lie of course. It was because it would hurt more when they became a target in God's efforts to continue my suffering. If I don't invoke their real name, they can't be targeted.

-

After my wounds healed, Sunspot and I would pal around for a century or two. Thankfully my human vessel didn't age at all, meant to prolong my suffering, yet I was grateful to have such a healthy and nimble body. We would often move from place to place like the gypsies, and often pose as a couple.

We would spend our nights talking about our memories until I could no longer remain conscious. They would often give the food they posed to eat to those who could not afford food. Despite their human appearance, their visage was merely a façade. They could reveal their horns and other devilish traits at will. Meanwhile my wings could only be seen by those with gifted sight, like small children, or those bothered by spirits.

When I began to forget things. Little things, like that chateau we called home in Brazil, or the mountain we climbed in the Alps, I began to keep a diary of all I could remember. I filled book after book with whatever language I wanted, often mixing them together as I found a word that best fit every intention.

Good luck to anyone who finds it though. Unless they know every language from Spanish to Cuneiform, there's no telling how long it would take them to crack the inconsistent and nonexistent code. I fear that even I may forget how to read my own diaries someday.

-

We decided to leave Europe to check out the North American continent, particularly this new little colony of New England. We explored the lands that had yet to be bought by these colonizers, and interacted with the local animals and the native people.

One of the tribe's medicine men was very interested in my relationship with Sunspot. He saw me as a Raven Spirit, and Sunspot as one of the creation deities. I insisted that we weren't in a romantic relationship, nor anything to be worshiped, but he seemed to see us differently.

"Your fates are intertwined so strongly, It will never break." He also suggested that we leave this continent, because those settlers would be causing nothing but trouble, just like the Spaniards in the south. We heeded his words and went back to Brazil for quite some time.

It was the early 1930's when we found ourselves up in southern Canada. We had a little place near Niagara Falls, able to cross the border into the United States as we pleased.

-

I remember a conversation we once had in the early 1990's as our legs were tangled up on the couch one night while the TV played something to fill the void.

"So… I've known you for a while now, and I gotta ask. Why are you on Earth? Why haven't you gone back to hell, Sunspot?" I asked them. It was a question that had always been on my mind. They always seemed content by my side, and never left this realm, as far as I was ever aware.

"Ah… well, they kicked me out of hell. I… I tried to have people's judgements revisited after they had repented. But… I was told that once you're in hell, you have to stay there. You don't get to move on to reincarnation or get a second chance. "The God of second chances, huh? What a bogus line o' lingo." They said, obviously hanging around their human friends too much,

"I tried to help those seeking repentance no matter what layer I was moved to. Eventually, I was barred from my home. Even the hottest of places up here are too cold. I spent a week inside the magma of a volcano, and only ended up with igneous rocks formed in places I don't wanna talk about." They shook their head, hating the memory,

"That's why I always wear clothes as if I'm freezing, because I am." They said lifting the baggy sleeves of their thick sweater they wore.

"Ah, so that's why you insist on constantly sharing body heat." I smirked, I moved to lay on top of them, I heard them give a light giggle as they pet my wings with one hand, and my hair with the other.

-

On a vacation to Greece, where the Pantheon we hailed from feared to tread, we sat on a beach shoreline, as the moon began to cross in front of the sun.

"I've really enjoyed the time we've spent together." I found myself getting sentimental, "I think there's no one else I'd rather spend the rest of my damnation with."

"Aw, Nicky, you're just saying that." They rolled their eyes.

"No, I mean it." I said, cradling their face, and softly speaking their name. Something I never said, "I wanna spend the rest of eternity with you. I love you." My eyes begged for them to feel the same way. Sunspot could see it.

"I love you too, Nicholas. I always feel warmer by your side." They smiled, leaning in for our first kiss as the moon covered the sun, darkening the sky. The Gods could not see us here. This short moment of bliss was ours and ours alone.

-

We had spent nearly a thousand years together. It was in the 2300's when we boarded the seed ships. On the ship we slept, our pods next to each other. But it was only a matter of time before disaster struck.

The familiar heat awoke me as my pod was falling. My pod was near the flaming exterior of the ship. I don't remember this impact either.

-

I awoke in a hospital bed. But Sunspot was not at my side this time. A nurse who still looked as banged up as me tended to my wounds. I asked where Sunspot was, asking them by name. They hadn't seen or heard of them.

It was a lonely first few years. I stumbled from colony to colony trying to find Sunspot. There was no way they died in the crash. They couldn't have. They could stand such hellish temperatures, the crash would have been nothing to them…. But what about the impact?

In my adventures, I found a pair of young boys out on their own. Twins with blonde hair and blue eyes. We shared a meal, and then departed the next morning. Just a simple case of: same place, same time coincidence. How wrong I was.

The next time I saw one of them, the Little Needle Noggin was chained up to a post, passed out from blood loss from apparently having his arm cut off. I brought him to the floating ship I had seen. They could care for him better than I ever could. Besides, I had to keep searching. They graciously accepted him, still wondering how I had gotten up there. I was relieved my wings still worked.

Along the way, I picked up this large cross shaped gun I called The Punisher. As I looked for Sunspot, I made cash as a mercenary. My gun was powerful, and my determination to find my lover was stronger.

I thought I had seen the last of Needle Noggin when one day, I saw him all grown up. I had made the mistake of thinking he would stay on the ship. Here he was roaming around once again. His eyes were sad as he walked.

But.. wait… that had been nearly fifty years since I took him to the floating ship. How did he still appear to be in his twenties? There had been something off about him and his brother. Where was that little shit, anyways? I let him be for the time being.

-

I had been walking for a hundred iles before passing out in the desert. I felt myself get pulled into a bus, and given water.

"Oh wow! Thank the Lord, I'm saved!" I played up my preacher persona I'd acquired over the years. And there he was again. That Needle Noggin boy, still a young man, yet another fifty years later he had to be well into his hundred and thirties by now. Just what was he?

"So, what's your name, stranger?" He asked.

"The name's Nicholas D Wolfwood! Preacher, Undertaker, at your service!" I smiled. His friends who sat next to him outed the Needle Noggin as Vash the Stampede. Hm, who would have thought? I made some jokes about taking the money for myself, but they had no merit to them.

-

I traveled with Vash for a while. He allowed me to take the time to see the beauty in this world, and the charm of its people I had been ignoring for the past hundred and thirty years.

-

A year passed by, and Vash and I sat in his room, drinks in hand. I had just found out he was a plant from an incident the day prior.

"I knew you weren't human. I just didn't know how." I said, taking a drink.

"And that goes the same for you, Wolfwood. I remember you. That night, that Knives and I had dinner with you. I still remember that."

"I'm much older than you, Needle Noggin. You don't wanna know what I am or what I'm doing here."

"That's not really fair, now is it?" Vash knocked back another shot. I rolled my eyes and told him. My fall, Sunspot, living on earth, falling to No Man's Land, and my eternal search for them.

"Don't tell anyone. I don't deserve to be worshiped, or adored as an Angel. I'm just as much a sinner as the rest of humanity is."

"You got to live on Earth though… that must have been super cool…" Vash slurred, lying his head on the table. He passed out shortly after, probably dreaming about what I told him. I took the last shot of the bottle we had left, and went to bed.

-

In a little town, we walked down the street, chatting away, when a person caught my eye. Someone who looked human to all of those around them, but I knew. I could see the little horns that curved over their head.

"Sunspot!" I yelled louder than anything I had ever yelled before, running to them. Their face turned to shock, a wide smile crept across their face that mirrored mine.

"Nicholas!" They ran to me, jumped into my arms, and I twirled them before setting them down again, tears falling down my face.

"Oh my God I thought I'd never find you!" I hugged them again to make sure this was real. They were really here, in my arms.

"I'm sorry that I ever stopped. I'm so sorry. I just wanted to feel like I had a home again."

"No, you're okay, you're here now. I didn't want to think you had died. I knew it couldn't be possible." I pressed many sultry kisses to their lips, whispering their name to them between each kiss, as I had longed to do for so long.

We must have looked like a mess in the streets, crying, and kissing as if we hadn't seen each other in over a century. But it was true. A hundred and thirty years apart felt worse than my burning wings, or any gunshot wound I had ever received.

We eventually regained ourselves, and made our way to their house, where they lived alone. They had never married, and spent their time painting places we had been to in our time together to cope. They had many paintings they often gave to friends, or to museums. They used a psuedo name of course.

"So, is this where we part, Wolfwood?" Vash asked, after he'd finished looking at all of the paintings.

"I'm not sure yet. I'd go anywhere, as long as Sunspot is there." I still held their hand. They smiled up to me, then to their paintings.

"I've been cooped up in this house for too long. I'm ready for an adventure. Why don't we travel for a bit, then we can return here so you can finally rest?" Sunspot gave a radiant smile, brighter than any sun in the galaxy.

"I'd be honored to have your help. Vash and I are cleaning up his own family life. We can teach his bratty older brother a lesson in what it truly means to fall from grace." I stroked their cheek, "You can finally rehabilitate the biggest sinner on all of Gunsmoke…"

"But you don't need rehabilitation, Belovéd." They gave a snarky smile.

"Holy Hell, I've missed you." I have a tired smile, absolutely flabbergasted at their audacity.

[cymorilcinnamonroll]

God Left a Long Time Ago

The war is eternal, the barracks are full of gutter swill, and Michael sits with his soldiers – some young angels not yet scarred by battle, some hardened veterans with crooked broken noses and lashes across their skin, burns from brands, twisted flesh from whips and swords.  In the trenches and camps, the border never falls, and the only thing to sing you to sleep is Israfel’s weeping over the Damned.

Sometimes, when there is a pause, and the demons retreat, Gabriel pulls out her battered trumpet and plays hymns.  Raphael has an accordion, and Uriel a makeshift drum.  Michael sings then.  It’s a ragtime band, Vaudeville in the wastelands, for shed enough immortal blood in Heaven and the grasses, flowers, and sedge drown in ichor.  All that blooms is asphodel.  The angel will dance among the plain white flowers and bramble thorns.

There are also roses.  One blooms every time an angel utters his or her last words.  They are sickly sweet with the fragrance of lost hope and a rain that never comes.  Michael picks them and presses their nectar and delivers their prayers to God’s throne room.  God weeps at the loss of his children, and another poppy blooms in the fields of the slain as the snow of their Father’s tears buries the corpses.  Roses, asphodel, poppy.  Pink, white, red.  It’s like a twisted Valentines, a love letter from Heaven to Hell.

Oh sweet nothings between Michael and Lucifer as one bites the heel and one crushes the head.  Oh sweet somethings between Raphael binding Azazel in Dudael.  Oh sweet possibility as Gabriel plays up the dawn with her song.  Oh sweetly impossible wishes of Raphael, for healing of the broken hearts of his comrades.  Oh bittersweet light of Uriel, who has run out of tears to shed – all that is left in her amber eyes is salt.

It is a Crusade.  It is a Cold War.  It is a chess set with poker on the side.  Two masterminds, Left Hand and Right Hand of God.  Over humanity perhaps, or perhaps so much more than mere hairless humans.  Perhaps they fight over free will, for freedom, or perhaps they forgot what they were fighting for long ago, and the lances and armor are dressings over empty burning hearts swiftly turning to coal.

Deus Vult.   As God Wills.

God left

a long

time

ago.

[drconstellation]

Thanks for the shout-out.

It is, of course, a loaded statement, preceded by another loaded statement.

One of the major themes running through both seasons is Memento mori - "remember that you die," which is a philosophical reminder about the inevitability of death. I just wrote a post about it the other day (dear Lord I was tired when I wrote it, its perhaps not my best work) but I'll expand on it here, in relation to this question.

The other thing to keep in mind is the parallel scene to "nothing lasts forever," back in "Before the Beginning" when Aziraphale informs angel!Crowley that his gorgeous star factory he just started up is going to be cut off in the blink of an angel's eye once God's little experiment with the Earth is done.

AZIRAPHALE: Oh… that's nice. … You know the current word from Upstairs is that we'll be shutting all this down again in about 6,000 years.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Here on Earth we understand about recycling our stardust - we die, we rot, but we get recycled into some new and glorious again. New stars to shine again in the universe. It's painful, but its for the best.

Aziraphale and Crowley, well, they're immortal. They don't. And they don't want the Earth to die. They love it too much.

And the bookshop? What does that represent? Many things. It's not *just* a bookshop.

As many have pointed out, its their version of the Garden Eden. But the Arrival of Gabriel heralded the end of that era.

"Who told you I was naked?"

Oh.

This line is lifted almost word for word from the Bible, is God finding out Adam and Eve have eaten the Forbidden Fruit, and will henceforth expel them from the Garden. It's sometimes called the Fall of Man.

It was meant to happen, basically. Part of God's great Ineffable Plan. Adam and Eve were never meant to stay in Paradise for ever.

Similarly, Aziraphale and Crowley can't stay in their little Paradise that they have carved out together over the past few years, or even centuries. Such a brief space of time, for two eternal entities...

It's time for a cycle of renewal again. Aziraphale has gone to light the fires of the heavens once more, so they can start anew and shine forth in the glory they deserve to be. Crowley, yet again, realizes he must suffer for the greater good. And it never hurts any less. They both know - they've seen it all before.

Is the bookshop still safe? Depends on the context, I think. Muriel is there now, so it may be safe from demons once more, but its no longer the safe space for Crowley as it once was, physically or spiritually, as Aziraphale isn't there either. It will be under surveillance as well, from the Metatron and Saraqael, I would think. Not a place to relax in. Better to be elsewhere, away from watchful eyes, if he can.

We were all talking about the bookshop as a save space for Crowley and Aziraphale, because hell Had no access. After inviting hell, is it still safe? I'm refering to the "nothing lasts forever". So I'm wondering if there's more behind.

oooh interesting!!! do you mean it might no longer be safe in general now that shax etc. have all been invited in once? i've not considered this before, and i'm afraid that analysis is not my forte, so... who's got some thoughts about this?

@indigovigilance @vidavalor @drconstellation @aduckwithears @ineffableigh @phoen1xr0se thoughts?

[books-and-catears]

Hey uh sry to bother you but can you do a Mc who is TERRIFIED of the demons and every time they are threated, put in danger, attacked and killed, they don’t forgive and avoid them even more. They run away from them, in constant fear and paranoia and they hide in their room and barricades the door. They now carry a weapon like a knife or something and stay up with it because they are paranoid that they will break in and kill them. How are the bros gonna fix this?

Oh I'm gonna love figuring this one out. Let's see how far these demons will really go to fix this one. God I can feel this MC's fear and anger in my heart.

Edit: This became so long I had to divide it into two parts. The Headcanons or reactions of individual characters will be in the next part.

Also I'm so sorry for all the delays in answering asks btw. Its been super busy and overwhelming to write like I used to. I get so many lovely asks but I delay writing them or sometimes can't even write them at all. I'm genuinely so sorry.

Love and Consequences

(Pt. 1) || (Pt. 2) ->

Alone. You're all alone here. This was the one lesson that night taught you. Not the angels, nor the human is on your side.

They are all age old immortals who've known each other for centuries. And you are just human who tried to their very best. You risked your life each day for monsters who would watch you die without batting an eye.

If the whole realm wasn't crawling with demons, you'd have run away without a second thought . But the best you could do now was hide, keep yourself safe and locked in your room, clutching a knife in your trembling hand.

"Oh, you dumb little human..."

Your blood still ran cold at his words, at his eyes. Noone had ever looked as terrifying as he did last night. It wasn't him that scared you, though, not at all.

It was how easy it was for the rest of them to not care. To move on, to watch you be betrayed and welcome the traitor with open arms. No you couldn't stay here any longer.

There was the dull knocking on the door again. You prepared yourself.

"MC, please, you haven't had food for days, please open up and eat some-"

"Why? So you can poison me this time? Watch me struggle to hold onto dear life again?" You screamed. "Get away from my door!"

_____________________________________

Asmo backed away from the door, flinching as if you'd slapped him across the face with all your strength. He went back to the dinner table, dejected.

"They refuse to come out. Screamed at me to get away again."

"MC is going to fall seriously ill at this rate. They haven't eaten in days." Satan ran his hands through his messy hair as he dropped a stack of books to the floor. Human Anatomy and more, they were called.

"Luke tried calling them last night. MC didn't pick up his call either." Beel said, fidgeting with the food on his plate.

Lucifer's eyes widened at the news. Then he glanced up the stairs and let out a deep sigh. If the baby angel wasn't acknowledged, the rest of them were definitely done for.

"Mammon you can't keep doing this too! Lucifer, look!" Levi pointed. His eyes were puffy, nose bright red. How long had he been crying?

Mammon wordlessly tilted his plate, all his food falling on Beel's plate. "I'm just not hungry. I'm leaving now."

"You said that yesterday too. Just listen to me. Sit down and eat, Mammon." Lucifer was too tired to be stern anymore.

"Listen to you? A whole lot of good that did to us." Mammon chuckled dryly as he got up and left without another word. Lucifer closed his eyes and leaned back.

"MC really hates me now huh?" Asmo sniffled. "I'm not used to being hated. I didn't know it hurts this much..."

"Ha. Welcome to my world." Levi let out a sardonic laugh. "Have fun, it keeps getting worse."

"Can we keep some food for MC in the fridge? Just in case they sneak out of their room to eat once we're all asleep?" Beel suggested.

Satan agreed, "I don't think we have another optio-"

"MC'S NOT IN THEIR ROOM!" Mammon screamed as he stumbled down the stairs.

"W-what?!"

"The windows were open, there's a rope made of the bedsheets attached to something, everything's a mess, they're GONE!"

"They escaped through the window?!"

"THIS LATE AT NIGHT?!"

"But when did- how- but MC- all alone-"

"There's no time. Everyone get your coats, we're leaving. I'll inform Diavolo and the others. We'll split into two groups and search for MC." Lucifer stood up, rushing to grab his things. Everyone else followed suit.

"I'm guessing that doesn't include me." Belphie said bitterly, still seated while everyone else was up and rushing about.

Mammon glared red at him. "Don't you dare follow us." He was the first one out the door.

"Considering what you did to the last person who tried to include you," Satan said, putting on his jacket, "it'd be better to leave you locked back in the attic."

Belphie looked at Beel. The sight of the rest of his brothers sickened him. But Beel only said, "On their very first month here, MC risked their life to save me from one of Lucifer's deadly attacks. If you were there, they would have saved you too."

_________________________________

"I thought I'd find you here."

Solomon's voice almost startled you off the tree branch you sat on. He was inches away, simply leaning against the trunk, sitting on the branch under yours.

You readied your weapon. "If you dare tell the demons, I'll-"

"I have no such intention. I simply came here at Luke and Simeon's request. They've been worried sick. And believe it or not...so have I." He gave you a pained smile.

You simply exhaled and rested your head back against the trunk too. "How did you find me?"

"You brought me here once. Told me this tree reminded you of one from your backyard and that me and this tree were your little piece of home in this hellhole." He answered.

"My mistake. You're more part of this world than you ever were part of mine." You cradled the knife in your hand.

He turned quiet, staring ahead, desolate.

"You should run soon. They're almost here." It was the last thing he said, before getting off the tree. But on the road back, he kept glancing back at you.

You sat up, alert. You could see Asmo's pale pink hair and Diavolo's panicked face in spaces between the fluttering leaves.

"MC! Is that you?! MC, wait!" Someone spotted you as dropped. You dived headfirst into some dread rose bushes.

Damn your eyes, Satan.

_________________________________

"Surely you knew this would happen." Simeon's voice was low but held repressed anger, about to overflow.

Barabatos sighed and shook his head. "I assure you, I did not. I donot look through the time portals as often as you think."

"Could you not look to see where MC is right now?" Luke shouted, turning around. He was running far ahead than anyone else.

"I did try looking, Luke. I'm afraid it showed me nothing. Someone is obscuring MC's presence with powerful magic." The butler replied.

There was a crease of worry on his usually calm face,that refused to go away.

"Magic powerful enough to obscure your portal? There's only one person strong enough to do that and he's been gone for the past hour." Lucifer grabbed a fistful of his hair and groaned.

"Hey look! Isn't that Solomon? And he's carrying something?" Luke pointed ahead, as the white haired sorcerer walked through some bushes with a solemn face.

"He's.. he's carrying MC! MC's unconscious!" Beel exclaimed before lunging forward at break neck speed.

"I'm taking MC home. They're too weak to spend another day here. You can meet us there, once MC's condition improves." Solomon said, coldly.

"What happened? Where did you find them?" Lucifer demanded to know.

"MC was trying to escape through the bush maze because Satan spotted them in the trees. I was waiting near the exit." He answered.

"By that time, MC looked exhausted, using the last of their strength to hold the knife close. I bent down to help them up, "Don't let them find me again. Please, Solomon." That's the last thing they said, before collapsing on me."

Silent tears spilled out of Luke's eyes. His entire body trembled with worry. Simeon put a hand on his shoulder, barely keeping it together himself.

Lucifer stared at your closed eyes and the knife you still held onto. He lowered his gaze and moved out of Solomon's way. "Get home safe, MC."

Barbatos summoned a portal without any prompting. "I humbly request you'll let us know when MC gains conciousness."

"No promises." Solomon said, before walking through and disappearing.

[unabridged-melancholies]

So? You want to be a poet? I, the seemingly decent one, who has no mental disorder, will tell you!

Step One: Hate yourself. This is after all, you're biggest well to draw from. Listen to angsty artist, who scream at you, about how the world is worthless, and ugly, and you! Are the gift of humanity.

Step Two: Fall in love. After all, this is what all the poets do. We fall in love. We fall in love with the words that we shove down your throat, with the ink that we shove into your veins. We will romanize how awful you are. We will say, that your scars, are beautiful, that you are the sun. And baby, we are your own damn Icarus. Being on the scars, bring on the damage. Bring on the heartbreak. We will make you, immortal.

Step Three: Pretend you know everything. Pretend that you are The Giver. That every person you met, is your own little toy to fix. After all, they don't know you! They don't know that you have imaginary friends in your head, they don't know that you take a bath every night, because your therapist says, heat is used as a substitue for human contact. They don't know that you have lied more than you tell the truth. They don't know you.

Step Four: Write. Attempt to keep a journal. Not like the one that you kept until you were twelve, and then decided to destroy, because you thought it was too shallow to keep. Fabricate your memories. Put flowers in the spaces between this sentence and the next. After all, poets have no privacy when they are dead. We only have the tombs that we rot in. Write so that you are seemingly important enough for people to give a fuck about. That you were something more than a depressive, forsaken, human.

Step Five: You've been single for awhile now, you've been doing fine, so go back to them! Message them I miss you. Puck at your heart strings, so harshly that you think you might actually be dying. When she asks you why, why you've come back to fuck up her life, say that you just need closure. Bring up your favorite weapon; I was an orphan. Convince yourself that she was the only home you knew. But that now, you regret it. You don't regret coming back, oh no. You just regret that she can no longer make you feel better.

Step Six: Do something to hurt yourself, literal or not, make yourself suffer. Because after all, you destroy things best, by sinking your teeth into them. And you still cry, all these years later, because you can still taste them on the tip of your tongue. Do something to hurt yourself. Think about suicide. Tell a girl that you love her, and know that you don't mean a word of it. Tell your mother, who gave you everything, that she is no better than your junky, whore, memory of a parental, figure. Pretend you don't hear her crying down the hallway. Because this is you. This is your pain. And god be damned, if you can be cruel, while your demons are sitting on your chest.

Step Seven: Read the greats. Read Shakespeare. Pretend you don't snicker when you hear the rumors of his homosexuality. Although you yourself, think that girl from school is more than just pretty. Read Maya Angelou. You'll think that this will somehow make you absolved, of all the violations that her culture suffered, not just her body. Read

Whitman. You will be bored. But you'll bullshit yourself into thinking that you are just as influenced by the world. That nature, the quiet, could be the answer for you. Read them. Read Plath, keep The Bell Jar on your shelf. Tell yourself that you refuse to have a Buddy Willard in your life. And you'll be horrified, when you learn about how she died. But does it matter? Is it any better than you? You can't even mar your skin. But you can stand to hear your sister say, "You are the reason I used to cut myself."

Step Eight: Claim your depression. Claim your disorder. Feed your suffering. This is your out, this is your pass. This is what makes you free. You have suffered, you have broken hearts. You have stayed up for four nights. And you think, you might have almost discovered why God hates you. You made them hate themselves. You made a girl cry for a month. You watched as people drowned. You! Are their bloody icon. You are weak, and fragile, but oh my god! You can write. You are their person, you are their messiah. They are all looking to you. Asking you! They weep, and expect you to wipe away their tears. She tells you you always made your suffering mean something. You are humble, you are kind. You, who has never taken a poetry class in your life. You are the lighthouse, you are the statue over the city! You are everything! It's all for you! They lived because of you, they are indebted, they are ━.

You, are a fucking, fraud.

[Inspired From Niel Hilborn's Audiobook.] (7. 8. 17)

[mydearfantasy]

Mourning Your Death | Diluc, Xiao, Zhongli & Childe

TW: death mention, blood, injury, grief, angst

Characters: Diluc, Xiao, Zhongli and Childe

Synopsis: the different ways that they deal with your death

Notes: heavy angst and death mentions so please be wary if you’re easily upset. also mentions of injury, general grief so please be warned

DILUC

Cool sun rays cast little light into the darkened room, barely illuminating a certain place at the table. A mug, a plate, a set of cutlery, all left untouched. The sight still causes him pain. But he cannot bring himself to remove them, to admit that you’re forever gone-

His own meal tastes ever bland. Flavours gone along with you. The very burning core inside him that kept him going forward, his fire, cruelly torn out never to return.

What had he done to deserve this? no, what had you done to deserve such a cruel fate? it shoulve been him. Why was it never him?

memories of blood as red as roses flash unwanted through his mind, it’s sickening warmth seeping into his soul, staining his already damned soul forever more. he failed. he was a failure. a mockery of a hero.

eyes scrunch up, dark bags on full display, but no tears can fall. no tears are left to fall. where had it all gone wrong? happiness was finally within his grasp. was he too damned to deserve it? after all his efforts, all his love, was it still not enough?

shoulders shaking and heaving, he buries his head in his arms, the dawns rays unable to reignite his fire.

XIAO

he was a fool. he knew it as soon as his heart skipped a beat at your smile, relishing the way the sun danced upon your pretty face. the face that kept growing older, laugh lines turning into deep wrinkles and cracks upon your skin. Body soon too old and stiff to try and pull him up to dance and sway.

he was a fool. he knew this would be how it ended, your painfully short mortal life but a blip in his eternal one. he knew that one day, despite how much dread the mere thought caused him, he’d hold your hand, so lifeless and still. heavy gaze falling upon your once vibrant eyes, now empty and unfocused. an empty husk in the shape of the person he once loved, adored and treasured with every fibre of his cursed being.

it was inevitable, he knew that. knew he should have turned away, closed his heart off before you crawled your way inside, to show him all the happiness and joy that he didn’t believe his life could possibly hold. All that happiness that you had cruelly taken with you. the eons of suffering under his karmic debt could not compare to this. this was personal. this was his pain, not the wrath of gods and demons. his own anguish. anguish that he foolishly welcomed into his life, arms upon wide for the privilege of wrapping themselves around you. a luxury he in no way deserved.

he was a fool.

ZHONGLI

the gentle breeze barely ruffled the flowers, the spot he had created perfectly isolated from any malicious forces. removing the old and replacing them with the new, this time the flowers a vibrant pink. how he wished glaze lilies would come back into season early.

that was how he’d met you, all those years ago on a melancholy night in guili plains, moon hanging high in the sky. Feelings of sadness that he rarely allowed to bubble to the surface over came, waves of grief and loneliness washing over him, not weakened by time.

But he heard a voice, a voice oh so soft it soothed his heart. There you were, crouched down in front of several glaze lilies, coming into bloom at the angelic tones. The moonlight shone an ethereal glow upon your face, as if made only for you. You looked up and into his eyes, and he swears he could see all the stars in the sky inside of yours. He was smitten.

Loss seemed to be the ever present theme in his life, stuck an a never ending cycle, such was the fate of an immortal. The news reached him second hand, talk of a wandering spirit beloved by all who had wandered too far, too far in order to satiate their love of exploring. News that struck a sickeningly familiar cord within him. a sickening cold spreading throughout his body, immobilising his very soul.

And here he remains, silently taking in the atmosphere, overlooking the plains he’s far too familiar with, all the grief inside him merging into an indistinguishable blur, wetness gathering in the corner of his eyes. But he will carry on. He has no choice.

The life of an immortal is certainly a lonely one.

CHILDE

He was a warrior. You were both warriors. Endless days and nights spent sparring, tackling monster camps, pummelling treasure hoarders. Not a single day spent static, all of them filled to the brim with adventure.

The days never ceased, but you did. He continued as he always did, craving that thrill of battle. But that crave was proving impossible to satisfy. Battle after battle, bruise after bruise, break after break. Nothing. Nothing could fill the gaping wound that you had left. Days not ending even after the sun set, his clothes and body soaked in blood. Others? His? He couldn’t tell anymore. Didn’t care anymore.

You weren’t supposed to die. Weren’t you strong? How could this happen? He didn’t believe them, the guards who came to tell him. They were idiots, how could that possibly be the truth? He laughed in their faces, mania overtaking him.

Even now, weeks later, he still refused to believe it. You were playing a prank, you’d be back. You had to be back. He was convinced. Even the sickening sight of your battered body couldn’t convince him otherwise.

He’d seen stranger, things thought to be impossible only to happen before his very eyes. You were just trying to catch him off guard, that was it. He had to be on guard for a sneak attack, so that he could catch you, see you laugh at how you got him, how you got him so bad. He would laugh too, and hold you tight. Tighter than he’s ever held anything before.

He just had to keep going, keep going until you decided he was worthy enough to return to.

[painonthebrain]

Ok but it’s funny because this happens so much

(Divine Divergence) Haha angel and demon au where Reverb is an angel and Arthur is a demon - everyone here are ocs now and angel and demon society are deeply flawed due to a singular oppressor in the form of a false god

(ImMortal Triplicity) What if whump story in said universe where a royal angel gets tortured and idk maybe one gets bought and used for their blood and stuff idk - EVERYONE IS FALLING IN LOVE. Oh yeah also society is still horrible that too haha .

(Metamorphosis) Yeah lets make an au of DD where my angel character is an alien from my friend’s story - oh no the nuances of being a child raised by activists in an oppressive society oh no classism oh no dehumanization . Oh no he’s an entirely new character now um

(Porcelain au) haha what if i made an au of Metamorphosis where Saul is an industrial worker and bad stuff happens - WHAT THE FUCK. WHY IS HE ALSO A NEW CHARACTER NOW. Oh yeah also . unions

(What Are Monsters) Lab whump lab whump… lets see uhh spider guy reporting for lab gets captured! Yeah yeah very good - Themes of feeling unloved and holding yourself to unreasonable expectations, the media taking advantage of scandals and people’s suffering, being beheld by others and yourself

(Unnamed Children Torment Story) Sigh childhood memories and comfort… what if that but angelic creatures? Aww how cute - Children in a pseudo-reality have to navigate their relationships and emotions while slowly realizing they are not truly alive

I really wanna make a fast easy to make whump series (for the dopamine..) but whenever i try im like THE CONCEPT HAS TO BE UNIQUE AND MY MOST FAVORITE EVER. and then after that im like OH NO I NEED TO MAKE A FULLY FLESHED OUT DETAILED WORLD, CHARACTERS, PLOT, THEMES, MOTIFS, ETC and then it gets a bit too much and im like hmgmgnbgn…. I think ill outline this one after i figure it out………

[astaroth1357]

More undateables with a demigod hades mc???

By request, have yourself a part two!! 

Demigod MC Series: Hades Pt. 2 (Un)Dateables Edition!

I will ask that y’all please don't ask for continuations of other gods unless I say it’s okay to do again. This series already fills my inbox something fierce and this is a one-off that I allowed for during the request window.  If I have to make ideas for new gods while continuing a bunch of old MCs, it'll burn me out fast...

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2

Diavolo

Oh, he has no problem at all hosting a child of the Underworld, hell he even throws them a welcome banquet when he finds out! Hades is a dear friend - and practically a parental figure to him growing up - so he's more than happy to take in one of his children for a year.

Diavolo is actually one of the few people that the MC can talk to about their home with any kind of fondness. Usually when they bring up things like the comforting wailing of the River Coctyus, the brothers will give them weird looks... but Diavolo knows where they're coming from!

He spent numerous summers in the Underworld growing up doing things like pestering Charon on the River Styx or playing games with Cerberus (the other one) in the Asphodel Meadows... His beach house is actually modeled after his childhood summer home in the Isles of Paradise! Really, it can be a lovely place if the gloom doesn't bother you!

So in the spirit of his fond memories, Diavolo really tried to make their time in the Devildom a fun one!... in his maybe trying a little too hard way…  

Poor MC found themselves offered pretty much everything under the moon… Tickets or exclusive passes to different cultural events/festivals, invitations to gala events, and tours of nearly every inch of Hell by the Prince himself - it was… it was a lot for the poor introverted thing…

It didn’t help that Diavolo would have a hard time gauging if they were having any fun due to their naturally melancholic nature, which only pushed him to try harder… He means well, he does. He’s just not the most in touch with what would make an anti-social doom child happy...

It took Barbatos and Lucifer stepping in for the mortal to actually start getting some much needed space and that improved their experience significantly. Sometimes less is more, Dia… Less is more. But they appreciate his efforts anyway.

Barbatos 

Also has a pretty amicable relationship with the Ruler of the Underworld, though his is much more professional compared to Diavolo’s. He actually has a good deal of appreciation for the man for taking good care of the Prince during his visits, so he sees this as an opportunity to return the favor.

Like Diavolo, he’s rather focused on making sure the MC is having a good stay in the Devildom, but he’s much more subtle about it. He’ll come by the House often to check up on them and make sure everything is to their liking... 

Even the brothers notice that he treats them like anothering visiting Lord/Lady in that way, which he would argue they very much are and should be respected as one. It’s the least the Devildom can offer their father at this point.

His visits may also be an excuse for keeping an eye on the brothers to make sure they don’t do anything to inconvenience their “young guest…” To be honest, the entire House is a little paranoid about that… Nobody wants to know the punishment for hurting MC if Barbs is the one dishing it out...

Apart from watching out for them, Barbatos tries to encourage the MC to accept the Young Lord’s gifts (while also actively advising Diavolo to go easier on them at the same time). It would be so disheartening to him if his Prince feels like he hasn’t offered them the best experience that he could… He’s sure they understand.

Any time that he invites the MC to tea, they usually end up talking about their father in some way. Barbs knows a surprising amount about the god… He’s been around about as long as Chronos - preceding the birth of Aether and Chaos themselves - so he has some stories to tell.

The MC did once ask him why he doesn’t just run everything if he’s really been around for so long... his answer was: “Kings and their kingdoms will rise and fall… Worlds upon worlds are born, then cease to be. But time is what brings about all changes… So, I think I’m perfectly content with the power I possess. Wouldn’t you be?” 

Annnd they never asked Barbs another question like that again… and people think death is scary… 

Simeon 

He was honestly a little worried for their new companion for quite a while… It’s not like there’s never any sadness in the Celestial Realm or anything, but they seem to have something else entirely…

He’s heard stories about the Underworld. He’s never been himself, that’s usually a job for the Seraphim due to the… dreary nature of the place - but he’s heard it would make the Devildom look downright festive…

If he were being honest, he had half expected the MC to be obsessed with skeletons, ghosts, and other elements of darkness but that wasn’t the case. They certainly knew a lot about those things, but they appeared to have a healthy interest in the afterlife in general, so they asked him a lot of questions about the Celestial Realm, angels, and how the souls of the blessed are treated up there… It was surprising to say the least.

Of course he did the same and, frankly, Simeon found it incredibly wasteful that so many Greek followers find themselves just wasting away in a field of nothing for so long… but that’s neither here nor there.

He was also surprised by how gentle of an influence the MC ended up being on Luke as well. He had always suspected that the little angel just needed a bridge between him and Devildom to start finding appreciation for it, and the MC fit that bill perfectly - nothing he was used to, but still approachable enough to make everything less frightening. He thanks them a great deal for that… but...

It’s just that… Well they’re just so… depressing sometimes…! He doesn’t want to blame them because it hardly seems like their fault! They’re a very kind person, it’s just an atmosphere around them… It brings him to tears if he isn’t careful…

He’s invited the MC to Purgatory Hall on multiple occasions to chat and try to make them smile… When they do, the gloom is dispelled - even just a little - and they’re a truly beautiful creature regardless. It’s just so unfortunate that their life brings so much sadness...

Even so, he actually likes the MC enough to consider basing a character on them if he ever wrote another book. Something about a gloomy but sweet protagonist at home in a world of darkness sounds appealing… doesn’t it?

Luke

He didn’t know how to feel about the MC when they met. At first, he actually thought they were just as unhappy as he was to be there due to how depressed they looked but when they told him that wasn't true, he was really confused...

The Devildom is a dark, brutish, and dangerous place. Why would anyone feel at home down here??

But… well… He would spend time with them at RAD between breaks (partially to help scare off their many, many demonic suitors) and it might be weird to say, but they really made the Devildom look beautiful… literally.

The world just looks better when they’re around! It’s really hard to describe because it’s not something you notice much until they leave, but when the MC is around everything looks more vibrant and inviting! The grass gets greener, flowers grow bigger, and butterflies/birds hover around wherever they are like they have their own gravity - the realm loves them!

It started getting hard for Luke to hang onto his disdain for the place when they made it look so appealing… And then they started talking to him about the Underworld and the creatures they’d befriended there… creatures a lot worse than any demons he’d seen there...

Like. If the MC can be good friends with a bunch of rude walking corpses, then he could probably make friends with a demon right? There’s nice ones… kind of… 

Beel. He can make friends with Beel.

Like Simeon, he does feel bad that they seem so sad all the time… but unlike the older angel, he’s a bit more understanding that this is just how they are and enjoys his time with them regardless. (It helps a lot that just being around this little bean of a boy can lift their spirits anyway).

And you know what’s even better for him? When Lord Diavolo gives the MC tickets to things that they don’t want to go to, sometimes they’ll invite him along or give them to him instead! 

He’s gone to the Devil’s Coast with MC and Simeon sooo many times by now and he loves it!! Maybe the Devildom isn’t so bad after all, I mean, it can be a lot of fun when you go to the right places, anyway.

Solomon

Oh, he finds them both deeply fascinating and utterly terrifying - so just his sort of test sub-er, person!

He kids (somewhat), Solomon isn’t that dumb/lacking in self-preservation instinct. Experimenting on a child of death in a land of the dead (even if it’s not their “home turf”) would be asking for trouble. They’d have more than enough ammunition to fight him off and if their father found out? Immortality wouldn’t even begin to save him...

That being said, questions aren’t necessarily experiments… and oh boy, does he have a lot of them.

If the MC isn’t being pestered by Diavolo or the brothers, then they’re probably having to put up with Solomon nipping at their heels trying to get them to use their powers or answer all sorts of “innocent” scientific questions…

“MC, reanimation of Greek dead requires a blood offering, correct? Do you have to sacrifice animals for that process or do you allow them to feast on your own?”

“MC, when you’re controlling a skeleton do you move the body as a whole or do you have to animate each individual bone due to their lack of ligaments?”

“Think fast!! Oh look, you just caught the skull of my good friend, Richard! Could you bring him back from that, or should I fetch the rest of him?” 🙂

They put up with it because, believe it or not, he’s not nearly the weirdest person they’ve ever met (a lot of crazy people drift in and out of the land of the dead…) and well… they’re a pretty lonely person too so it’s not like they have a lot of standards when it comes to friendships anyway.

But the second they breathe a word of this to Barbs or Diavolo, this boy is on his way to a royal restraining order… Where does he even get those skulls…?

[agayprince]

A Little About Me

Interests:

Books/Reading

Writing

Mythology/Fantasy

Superheroes

Psychology

Book Genres:

Gay YA Romance, YA Fantasy, YA Dystopian, YA Contemporary, Gay Romance/Erotica

Fandoms:

Anime:

All Saints Street, Cells At Work!, Cute High Earth Defense Club LOVE!, Delicious in Dungeons (Dungeon Meshi), Digimon, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Given, K Project, Kemono Michi: Rise Up, My Hero Academia, One Punch Man, Princess Jellyfish, RWBY, Sailor Moon, Seraph of the End, Seven Deadly Sins, Sirius the Jaeger, Spy x Family, The God of Highschool, The Rising of the Shield Hero, Tiger & Bunny, Yuri on Ice

Books:

Adventures of Sik Aziz, Alex Rider, Arc of a Scythe, Carry On, Chronicles of Nick, Chronicles of the Avatar, Circe, Creekwood Series, Dragon's Reign, Fablehaven, Gentleman's Club, Good Omens, Grishaverse, In Deeper Waters, In the Lives of Puppets, Iron Widow, London Calling, Lord of the Rings, Lorien Legacies, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard, Master of One, Most Ardently, Outlaw Saints, Pandava Series, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Portrait of a Thief, Red Rising, Red White & Royal Blue, Skandar, So This is Ever After, Spell Bound, Teach the Torches to Burn, The Darkness Outside Us, The Extraordinaries, The Gentleman's Guide to Vice & Virtue, The Heir Chronicles, The Heroes of Olympus, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The House in the Cerulean Sea, The Kane Chronicles, The Paper Magician, The Scholomance, The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel, The Seven Realms, The Shattered Realms, The Song of Achilles, The Storm Runner, The Sunbearer Trials, The Trials of Apollo, Tristan Strong, Under the Whispering Door, Zachary Ying

Cartoons:

Adventure Time, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Ben 10, Ben 10: Alien Force, Captain Planet, Carmen Sandiego, Code Lyoki, Codename: Kids Next Door, Danny Phantom, Fionna & Cake, Gargoyles, Infinity Train, Jackie Chan Adventures, Johnny Quest, Justice League, Justice League Unlimited, King of the Hill, Krypto the Superdog, Legend of the Dragon, Legion of Superheroes, Loonatics Unleashed, Martin Mystery, Maya and the Three, Milo Murphy's Law, Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir, My Adventures with Superman, Over the Garden Wall, Owl House, Phineas and Ferb, Q-Force, Scooby-Doo, She-Ra and The Princesses of Power, Teenage Mutant Nunja Turtkesb(2003), Teen Titans, The Dragon Prince, Thundercats, Tiny Toon Adventures, Totally Spies, W.I.T.C.H., Winx Club, Wolverine and the X-Men, X-Men: Evolution, X-Men: The Animated Series, Xiaolin Showdown, Young Justice, Yu-Gi-Oh!

Comics/Graphic Novels:

Check Please, Chef's Kiss, DC, Heartstopper, Kill 6 Billion Demons, Marvel

Movies:

Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker, Alex Strangelove, Barbie, Charlie's Angels, Disney, Dreamworks, Edge of Tomorrow, Ghibli, Hoot, I Am Number Four, Inception, Legally Blonde, Night at the Museum, Nimona, Pixar, Promare, Sherlock Holmes (2009 & 2011), Love Simon, School of Rock, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Sky High, Star Wars, The Greatest Showman, The Princess Bride, The Way He Looks

Podcasts

Dragon's Reign, Ologies, The Adventure Zone, The Two Princes

TV Shows:

BBC's Merlin BBC's Sherlock, Good Witch, Julie and the Phantoms, I Love Lucy, Leverage ,Leverage: Redemption, Lost Girl, Love Victor, Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries, Monk, Power Rangers, Scott Pilgrim Takes Off, SKAM, SKAM: France, Star Trek, Supergirl, The Mandolorian, The Office, Umbrella Academy, Wonder Woman (1976)

Video Games:

Among Us, Coming Out On Top, Deep Rock Galactic, Dream Daddy, Hades, Hades 2, Human Fall Flat, It Takes Two, Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, Mario Kart, Minecraft, MTG Arena, Orcs Must Die! 2, Overcooked! 1& 2, SCP: Secret Laboratory, Smash Bros., Stardew Valley, Tabletop Simulator, Team Fortress 2, The Sims

Webcomics:

Boyfriends, Just us Fairies, Out of the Blue, The Legend of Genji

Webseries:

Dimension 20, Game Changers, Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, SCP Confinement

Music Artists:

Big Time Rush, Clean Bandit, Lindsey Stirling, Little Mix, Miike Snow, Pentatonix, Qveen Herby, Todrick Hall, Years & Years

Superheroes :

Wonder Woman, Blue Beetle, Raven, Shazam, Captain America, Storm, Phoenix, Scarlet Witch, Iceman, Wiccan, Hulkling, Gambit

Favorites:

Boyfriend: NakedJustice

Colors: Black & Purple

Mammal: Bear & Meerkat

Bird: Peacock & Hummingbird

Mythological Creature: Phoenix

Season: Fall & Spring

Holiday: Christmas

Candy: Chocolate

Dessert: Cookies and Cake

Ice Cream: Mint Chocolate-Chip

Drink: Cream Soda, Sangria Soda, Horchata

Writeblr: @the-writings-of-art

Goodreads: Find me here

Tags: asks, me, mine, agayprince, agayprince reads, on main (nsfw/18+ only)

Updated On: 06/30/2024

[crow-caller]

first off, i absolutely adore your channel. i think ive fully listened through your lightlark review twice every day since its come out. i play it in the background while im doing the dishes or doing homework or writing (its great motivation, really “if this could get published, then by god some poor fellow on Ao3 will like my story”)

i left a youtube comment on your latest video about sweet evil that has the same premise as this ask, but either it just didnt go through or you deleted it yourself (which i kind of doubt, but if it did bug you then please disregard this ask lol) because i cant find it anymore.

your love for angels in literature is a very nice breath of fresh air among the booktube community, and that paired with your love for bad books made me wonder, have you ever read Georgia McBrides PRAEFATIO?

if you have, oh my god i thought i was alone in experiencing this horrendous novel, but if you havent i really do recommend it.

actually. “recommend” isnt the right word. i dont recommend this book to anyone at all. save yourself

the writing is so JUVENILE its painful to read, imagine my immortal but with zero edge and thats almost exactly the writing style of the first few chapters. at some points the book gets so insanely hardcore (like lightlark but the violence is somehow even more unnecessary to the plot) but then the mc is reacting to these things with such eloquent phrases such as “OMG” “WTF” and “OW”

the mc, grace ann miller, is (from my memory) newly seventeen and is also the most specialist nephilim to ever exist because she was actually the will of GOD, so that makes her better than the other nephilim.

she falls in love with a Hot Rockstar Fallen Angel™ named gavin who is absolutely not also 17, after he totally didnt kidnap her and when shes eventually saved— i mean ripped away from her one true love by the police— shes deemed INSANE and a victim of stockholm syndome. the entire book is meant to be her giving her police statement which georgia seems to forget for most of the story.

tale as old as time really.

id love to hear your thoughts on it if you ever get your hands on this garbage fire (or if you have already).

(also, georgia mcbride is totally in love with gavin and its a little weird, you can see her ramblings here)

I def didn't delete the comment, I've only deleted 1 spam comment the entire time I've done youtube, but I probably haven't seen it or it got caught somewhere in the web. I TRY to read and respond to every comment or at least like it to show I've read it, but as I get more videos and views that's increasingly hard to do. I'm bad at time management to begin with and now I have hundreds of comments to respond to!

The name Georgia McBride sounds very familiar but I can't tell why. I have never heard of PRAEFATIO, it doesn't seem very notable or wide spread but you're right in that it looks similar. And sounds bad. And the cover looks.... wrong.

They.... look so wrong. They both look extremely photoshopped and severely uncanny, the girl in particular looks like a doll and honestly, it really really creeps me out. It definitely is going on my list of books to read though because it sounds gloriously bad, and yes, I love angels and bad angel books a lot.

(It's the autism if anyone couldn't guess by everything about me... special interest: angels (and demons). Longest lasting special interest maybe I've had)