#oh this is so fucking stupidddddd

[leofrith]

why the fuck would you get rid of icons. you want me to fucking READ?

[station26]

sorry your post blew up in the insane adult fandom its baffling that people are so upset by it 💔 hope you have a good day

ITS SOOOO BAD BRO "oh so youre saying nobody should ever buy themselves anything" YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING STUPIDDDDDD LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!

[rotshop]

I remember literally sighing when they announced Marooner's being added. Most boring map or rip out your tentacles annoying and it depends solely on whether or not the rotation is good because you can have the best squad and still struggle to get to wave 3, just to wipe out. If any map needed a rework from the series it's dumpster Bay.

Please dump more of your thoughts on Marooner's, it's so bad.

🏭

GRAHHHHH I HAVE . so many thoughts on so many of the maps in splatoon 3 i really really do but marooners is like my nemesis im like sat in my big fluffy flowy night robe with a cigarette holder and staring off into the dark menacingly thinking about it you don't understand just how deep my feelings about this map go .

marooners bay is IRRITATINGLY big and has so many unclimable walls. oh?? you wanna get to the basket in tornado?? well you better hope that your teammates are all on the exact same page and are the wellest of well oiled machines because if someone isn't A) getting eggs to the propeller B) splatting snatchers C) defending themselves / not getting fucking flattened by cohocks falling from the sky AND D) putting eggs into the basket efficiently then uhh woops !!! THAT'S A WRAP BAYBEE!!!!!!!!!!! WAHOO!!! GO TO PART TIMER.

you have to hope and pray that nobody cuts you off from the propeller because you probably (if we're talking higher rank playing here) won't have the time to aim and throw a golden egg up near the basket because some lesser salmonids are breathing down your neck. ORRRR you can go to the like ramp area near the back of the map and get flattened by a scrapper because everyone else is getting swarmed / far away. like i know this is an issue with just teammates but. this map is absolutely unplayable if you're doing freelance. if your teammates aren't aware of what bosses they can lure you're going to be stuck dying, being revived for 3 seconds and then dying again.

also the grates are bullshit like. oh my god they're so fucking STUPIDDDDDD . like that whole gap there between the rest of the upper area and the basket is soooo dumb. the only purpose it has is allowing people to move from one side of the map to the other quickly on mid/low tide i guess but. why even have it be like that. why should i have to use this little alleyway to get to the other side of the map when this just . isn't really a thing on other maps (ex. sockeye station) . the only other example of this i can think of is like. gone fission but that map is small and open enough that that isn't a huge issue?? at least in gone fission i can swim up a wall but nooo i have to walk the borders of texas just to get to the basket . anway back to the gap itself. its dumb as fuck. YES maps tend to have some kind of obstacle / thing going on around the basket!! (ex. sockeye stations basket is on a slightly raised platform, spawning grounds has a sort of wall by it) BUT THOSE ARE HELPFUL AND SURVIVABLE!!! AT LEAST IF I FUCK UP ON GETTING ONTO SOCKETES LEDGE ON HGIH TIDE I DONT IMMEDIATELY DIE!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW HUMILIATING IT IS TO KEEP TRYING TO SWIM TO THE BASKET BECAUSE I CANT OUTWALK A BOSS AND THEN FALLING INTO THE SEAS BECAUSE I THOUGHT MAP DESIGN WAS KIND AND LOVING!!! BUT NO!!!!

this rant has gotten so long that my food got here before i finished my thoughts on this map.

i have kind of lost my mind abt this so my points are a little scrambled up here but UGHHHH i hate this map. i desperately want it to be reworked so its smaller and less discombobulated because right now it feels like a frankenstein of a map that's not fun to play

[ambiguousdisorderken]

not me doing organizational acrobatics in regards to my study plan just to get a chance to see kyle again.....

[glytchfic]

We started as a spark. PART 2.

David Dastmalchian x Fem!Reader

Bonjour! There goes Part 2, it’s a bit longer than Part 1. Look, i was truly inspired, okay? Anyway, i’m letting you guys decide which Tom is it, it’s up to you - wink wink -. And I’ve decided to change the name of the story, it’s still from the same song but i thought it was more fitting. 

Special thanks to everyone who’s reading me, i really appreciate it. Comments, complaints, the usual!

PS: Since i’m pretty new to the whole Tumblr thing, can anyone explain to me how am i suppose to do a ‘read more’ option on my post so people who doesn’t want to read it don’t have to scroll for so long? lol, i feel stupidddddd.

Enjoy!

Rating: 18+

Warnings: slow burn, foul language, flirting, sexual tension, drinking, brief mention of marital problems. 

Inspired by the song False Alarm by Matoma and Becky Hills.

___________________________________________________________

‘How about this one?’

‘You are not gonna get laid in this one, trust me.’ my friend tells me.

‘What if, and it might sound totally crazy, I don’t wanna get laid?’ I say, amused.

‘At a wedding? Bullshit.’  

I laugh a bit and go back to my cabin to change again. I look at all the possibilities in front of me, pink puffy dress, green silk dress and a white dress. I scowl looking at the white dress. As if I would wear that to someone else’s wedding. I draw the curtains of the cabin, only in my underwear, and look at Alica.

‘I’m desperate. For the love of God, find me something.’ I whine.

‘Why do you care so much about this wedding anyway?’ she says as she browses through a bunch of dresses behind her.

‘David will be there.’

‘The guy who looks like a serial killer?’

‘He does not -’ I begin, walking towards her, ‘he’s a sweet guy.’  

‘And he’s married.’ she states.

‘Yes, he is.’ I mutter.

After a long silence, she gently slaps me on my arm, ‘Oh my god! Are you serious? I thought you didn’t sleep with married men!’

‘I don’t!’ I defend myself, ‘I just – I don’t know. I wanna be smoking hot at Sean’s wedding and the fact that David is there might or might not have a direct link to my desperate search for the perfect dress. We might never know.’ I say with a bit of sarcasm.

‘Sweetie,’ she puts her hands on my shoulders, ‘I’m sure he’s a fantastic guy, but don’t get too hyped about him. You’re gonna get yourself hurt.’ she says in a gentle tone.

‘I -’ I stammer, ‘Look, it’s just a dumb crush. I’ll be over it after a new one-night stand.’

‘Are you sure?’ she questions me.

‘Sure. I mean, yeah, I’d climb this guy like a fucking tree -’

‘You’re unbelievable.’ she cuts me off.

‘Buuuuuut -’ I motion to her to let me finish, ‘I can’t, and I won’t. I honestly think David and I can be good friends. Whether you believe me or not, I really do think that.’ I reassure her.

‘I do believe you, but please, just be careful. I’m telling you this because I care about you.’ she says while putting a strand of my hair behind my ear.  

‘I know and if you were in my shoes, I would be telling you the same thing.’ I smile at her.

‘I know.’ she smiles back.

I hesitate a few seconds, ‘So anyway, as I was saying: like a fucking tree -’ I joke and start laughing.

‘Oh my god!’ she throws a black dress at my face, ‘go try this one. Hopefully, it’ll help you get some.’

_

Car keys in hands, I lock my car and walk toward the ceremony. I put my keys in my purse and see I have a text message from Alica wishing me good luck for the evening and all. I text back a simple ‘Thanks, love you xx’ and I put in back in my purse. I stop in front of the door, and I observe my surroundings. I see a few faces I recognize, and they wave at me. I wave back and smile at them. This event won’t be that bad. I’ll probably run into lots of people I know – from the industry – that I haven’t seen in a long time. Good opportunity to catch up.

‘Wow! You look beautiful!’

I hear a familiar voice and turn around. I see Daniela – Melchior, aka Ratcatcher 2 – trotting towards me. She opens her arms; I do the same and we hug each other more tightly than I thought we would. I really do enjoy Daniela’s presence, but she lives in Portugal and only come to the USA from time to time for the pre-production of the film so I haven’t had the chance to get to know her as much as I would have liked.

‘I didn’t think you would be here!’ I say, surprised.

‘Me neither, but James convinced Warner Bros to pay for my plane ticket and told them it was work related.’ she says, excited.

I laugh, ‘Of course he did that.’

I’ve known James for years and I would’ve been surprised if he hadn’t arranged for Daniela to be here for his brother’s wedding. James is always like that; he wants to create a sense of family with his crew, and no one is left behind.  

‘I’m so nervous.’ Daniela says quietly.

‘How come?’

‘I don’t know anyone here except for the Suicide Squad gang.’ she muttered, looking down.

‘Hey, gotta start somewhere, right?’ I gently put my hand under her chin, and I slowly raise her head. ‘don’t worry about anything, we got you.’ I wink at her, and a beautiful smile appears on her face.

‘Thanks.’

Daniela is, by far, the youngest of the group. She’s barely 23 years old, she’s from Portugal, English is not her first language, and The Suicide Squad is her first big international role. I remember the first time I saw her, she looked so intimidated being surrounded by all of us, but she’s learning so fast and I can’t wait to see what she’ll give us once we’re on set.

‘Let’s go, it’ll probably starts soon.’ I wrap a protective arm around her, and we walk through the front door.

_

‘I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!’ the priest exclaims.

Sean grabs Nathasha – now officially his wife – by her waist and they kiss each other passionately. Everyone stands up and applauds to congratulate the newly married couple. Daniela grabs my arm, all excited by Sean and Nathasha walking down the aisle. I look at them, a huge smile on my face, and something – someone – caught my attention in the background.

‘What are you looking at?’ Daniela questions me, ‘hey look, David is over there!’ she says pointing in his direction.

Oh, poor child, if only you knew. Everyone starts following the married couple down the aisle and Daniela gently grabs my hand so we can’t get separated. Walking through this crown of Sean and Nathasha’s friends, Daniela and I find the exit and get there just in time to see the newly married couple leaving the place to go to the reception. I smile as I look at the car disappearing from my sight, I turn around towards Daniela and I freeze, my smile slowly fading away.

‘What’s the matter?’ Daniela asks, worried.

She follows my gaze and sees what I was looking at. David walking towards us, hand in hand with his – I assume – his wife. He waves at us and Daniela waves back at him while I’m still not moving. This shouldn’t be a surprise really. It makes perfect sense that he’s at a wedding ceremony with his wife and – fucking hell – she's pretty.

‘Hi, I’m Evelyn!’ she says with enthusiasm.

And she seems so nice. And has a good vibe. And they look like a great couple. And – fuck – I feel horrible for all the thoughts I’ve had – and still have – about her husband in the last two months. Daniela, still holding my hand, looks between me and her a few times and squeezes my hand a bit as if she was comforting me. I can hear them make small talk about the wedding and all, but I’m not paying attention. I see David trying to catch my gaze, but every time I either look at Daniela or his wife. I feel like such a spoiled brat, I shouldn’t be affected that much by this. I don’t want to marry him goddamn it, I just wanna – but I won’t - have sex with him. It’s just an attraction. A deep, intense and consuming attraction, but still an attraction, nonetheless. Why am I like this?  

‘Are you okay?’ Daniela asks, still worried.

I don’t answer as I look David and his wife walking towards their car, probably on their way to the ceremony. Daniela put her other hand on my back and hugs me a little.

‘I know what it feels like.’ she simply whispers close to my ear.

‘What do you mean?’ I mutter, getting back to reality.

‘I have been there before. It will be fine, trust me.’ she hugs me a bit tighter.

I turn my head towards her, and she gives me a warm smile.

‘Is it really that obvious?’

She laughs, ‘Come on, we have to go.’

Fuck, she knows.

_

Drink in hand, I’m on the dance floor with Daniela and we’re giving everything we have. Screaming the lyrics to the Icona Pop song ‘All Night’, she takes my free hand, and we start spinning, laughing and stumbling around. The last note of the song echoed on the dance floor, and I look at Daniela, out of breath.

‘How long have we been here? Jesus.’ I say catching my breath.

‘Long enough for this guy at the bar to completely undress you with his eyes.’ she subtly points me the direction with her chin.

I turn around to see the handsome stranger and I chuckle a bit. It’s no stranger, I know this guy. I look at Daniela as I finish my drink, I put it on the table next to us and I wink at her before leaving.

‘Hey Tom.’ I say seductively.  

‘Good evening, gorgeous.’ He flirts back in his English accent.  

Tom and I aren’t at our first ride together. We have history together, nothing serious really, but we do appreciate each other a lot. And he’s a good fuck, there I said it. For what feels like hours – who knows how long – we catch up, flirt, have a few drinks, hands wandering here and there. I feel myself getting more and more tipsy as the minute goes by. As Tom was whispering sweet nothings in my ear, something else caught my attention a bit far away. David and his wife, talking. They both move their hands a lot. Oh. I’m an idiot. They’re arguing. Not the ‘imma-scream-and-make-a-scene’ type of argument, but you can clearly see something is going on. After a few minutes, they both seem to have calm down. David put his hand on Evelyn’s hips and tries to kiss her, but she turns her head away, kissing her cheek instead. She gives him a weak smile and leaves. David sighs, rubs his forehead and walks towards the bar.

‘Tom, could you give me a moment, please? I think my friend’s not feeling good.’ I say, worried.

‘Of course, darling.’  

I get up and finally realize that I’m a bit more drunk that I thought I was, but nothing too crazy. I’ve seen worse, way much worse. I stabilize myself and walk towards the other bar where David was sitting all by himself, leaning his forehead against the palm of his left hand as the other was mindlessly scrolling on his phone.  

‘What is a handsome place like this doing in a man like you?’ I say, thinking I’m incredibly funny.

He turns around to look at me, a weak smile on his lips.

‘That was dumb as fuck, I’m sorry. Can -’ I sit down next to him, ‘can I buy you a drink or something?’

‘That’s very nice of you, but I don’t drink.’ He simply says.

‘Oh.’

I look around, a bit awkward. Even though there’s loud music playing permanently, it feels like there’s a heavy silence between us. I decide to stay right next to him and I start scrolling on my phone too.

‘You don’t have to do this, you know.’ He mutters.

‘Oh, I insist! S’cuse me, sir -’ the barman turns towards me, ‘can I have two glasses of water pretty please?’ the barman nods.

‘You’re unstoppable, aren’t you?’ Another weak smile appears on his lips.

‘Always. So -’ the barman puts down the glasses in front of us, ‘you wanna talk about it?’ I risk myself.

‘Not really, actually.’ He sighs.

‘It’s perfectly fine! So, hmm, ah yes! I watched this horror movie the other day, I’m sure you would have love it! There’s this girl, y’know? She slept with a guy she went on a movie date with. After their sexy time this asshole fucking drugs her with – what's it called – that liquid they use on washcloths in movie to make people fall asleep and kidnap them?’

‘Chloroform.’ He chuckles.

‘This! Yes! So anyway, she falls asleep and when she wakes up, she’s tied up on a chair! And then there’s this weird looking naked woman walking towards the girl and turns out this woman is actually a ghost now chasing the girl and the guy slept with her because you can pass this ghost curse through sex. Can you fucking believe that?’

‘I cannot believe it.’ He says, clearly amused.

‘Does it make sense? Should I stop? Sorry, I’ve been drinking tonight.’ I say, a bit embarrassed.

‘No, no! Please, tell me more.’

And I keep babbling about the movie It Follows and as I go, I realize that most of the things I say don’t make any sense at all, but as long as David keeps smiling and laughing, I’ll just keep going. At one point of the story, he bursts out laughing which makes me smile so much that my jaw is almost hurting.  

‘There it is. That smile.’ I simply say.

Hu blushes, ‘Thanks.’

We look at each other for a few seconds and I motion him to drink water, which he does. I do the same and I almost choke on my water when I hear ‘Dance With Me Tonight’ by Olly Murs starts playing. I put down my glass and take David by the arm with enthusiasm.  

‘That’s my song, come on David!’ I pull on his arm.

He laughs and I can feel him letting himself go. He follows me on the dance floor, and I start dancing, encouraging him. He looks around, with a small smile on his lips and he looks back at me, rubbing his neck with his hand. I reach out to him, and he grabs my hands. Laughing and moving around, we can’t stop looking at each other as we’re having the time of our life. I suddenly stop when I feel a hand – not David’s - on my shoulder.

‘I was looking everywhere for you, darling.’ he says slipping his hand down my back, ‘I’m Tom.’ he stares at my partner.

‘David.’ he simply answers.

‘I’m going back to my place, darling. Care to join me?’ he gets closer to me.

Still holding David’s hand, I look between him and Tom, unsure of myself. I glance at David who gives me a reassuring smile. I know he wouldn’t be mad at me. I mean, I do wanna get laid. But.

‘Sorry, Tom. I’m staying.’ I say confidently as I feel David’s hands gently squeezing mine.

‘Oh, I see.’ he bends towards me and kiss me on the temple, ‘call me, okay?’

I nod and watch him leave the place. I exhale deeply and turn back towards David who has a cheeky smile on his face. He rubs my hand a little bit with his thumbs, and he laughs.

‘Did I just cock-blocked you?’

‘I think you did.’ I laugh back.

He hesitates, ‘It’s not too late if you want to join him.’ he says looking in the direction Tom left.

‘No! I -’ I cut him off, ‘I’d rather stay here.’ I say under my breath.

He smiles, ‘Where were we?’ he starts dancing again.

_

Quoting our favorite movies, David and I are walking down my street. I would be lying if I said I was still drunk, I’m not. I haven’t had a drink since I went to see David at the bar, but I don’t feel like I need the effect of alcohol to enjoy myself right at this moment.  

‘You didn’t have to walk me home, y’know?’ I shiver.

‘I know, but I wanted to.’ hey says as he wraps his jacket around my shoulders.

I blush and look down at my feet. We walk down the rest of the street in a comfortable silence and I’m here, wondering what would happen next if he wasn’t married. I push those thoughts away as I see my apartment complex in front of me.

‘Home sweet home.’ I sigh, not wanting this night to ever end.

‘Home sweet home, indeed.’ he replies, ‘look,’ he hesitates a few seconds, ‘thank you for tonight. I truly mean it.’ he says with a warm smile.

I feel my heart beating faster, ‘Anything for you, David.’

He looks down, bites his lips and looks back at me, ‘I forgot to tell you,’ he gets closer, ‘you looked lovely tonight.’ he gently takes back his jacket from my shoulders.

I catch my breath, ‘Thanks.’

‘Sweet dreams.’ he whispers.

‘Good night.’ I whisper back and he smiles.

He turns around and starts walking again. I look at him for a few seconds before I enter my apartment complex with a sigh of – I don’t know – frustration or relief, I wouldn’t be able to say which one.

‘Are you okay, miss?’ Alexander, the night shift lobbyist, asks me.  

‘Yes, I’m fine.’  

No, Alexander, I’m not fine. My core is throbbing, my heart is racing, and I can’t remember the last time I’ve been this fucking horny.  

[dnnsrynlds]

i’ve been so depressed lately and right now i have that stupid fucking imagine dragons song “OH OH THE MISERY” stuck in my stupidddddd head

[harryfeatgaga]

I am literally Will Smith today...KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH LIKE I WILL LITERALLY FUCK YOU UP

MEEEEEEEEEE

Anonymous asked: HOW DOES HIS SINGING VOICE SOUND SO MUCH OLDER WE JUST SAW HIM ON TOUR 😭😭😭😭 I FEAR HES ONLY GETTING SEXIER

NO LITERALLY SOOOOO FUCKING GOOOD HES SOOOO SEXYYYY

Anonymous asked: tell me why i knew l*rries we’re gonna take boyfriends and run with it… like did they not sit and think about it for a second

THEY ARE SO STUPIDDDDDD

Anonymous asked: Ohh I found it…yeah, very camp lol

KEJNRBHFGYUHIJROKF VERY

Anonymous asked: He really let the tits out last night and I am eternally grateful 🧎🏻‍♀️

HE GIVES US WHAT WE WANTTTTTTT

Anonymous asked: harry’s set just started again on the livestream and here i am 🧍‍♀️

PELWKOJSHDBFCV

Anonymous asked: No bc the "you stub your toe, I break your camera" line is too fucking specific to not be referencing an actual thing that happened I am brokennnnnnnnnn

IU KJWNEOIDKFJHV

Anonymous asked: Went through a few posts

NOW I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEW ALBUM!!!!😩

What a legend and a king! 🤴🏻

He should be so proud of himself! I know I am! 🥹

Can’t wait to see him live in two months!😭🤘🏼🕺🏻🍾

YAAAAKSJDHBGYUEIJDRFHUI

Anonymous asked: I couldn’t stay up to watch the show last night, but oh dear god….. looks like it was the best show he ever did in his career! 🕺🏻 Seriously! He proved a point to the world last night! And fuck, GOOD FOR HIM! 👏🏼

I’m so proud of him! What a legend!🥹

LITERALLY HIS BEST SHOWWWWWW IM FUCKING SHOOOOOK IVM SO FUCKING PROUD OF HIM

Anonymous asked: Not so patiently waiting for the Coachella one shots and blurbs. Being Harry’s partner and there supporting him on this big night. And giving it to him so good bc he’s a good boy

YESSJNDBHFHGHUIJVK

Anonymous asked: the way Harry kept laughing at the crowd when they kept singing wmyb too slow KHDLHDKGXXK he was like read the room besties

PELAKMJNSBHD FI KNOWWWW

Anonymous asked: Harry's voice is smooth like butter i want to eat him

Anonymous asked: I physically can’t carry on after that…

MOOOOOD

Anonymous asked: Shania Twain on stage??? Fuck fuck fuck pucuyksykksslylyxpudujjdyxlyxludludludluxlxluxyuuxulhxluxlu

She was my first concert!!!!!!!!

YAAAAASNDBHFCVJK

Anonymous asked: Is there a working link of a recording of Coachella anywhere 👀

NOT YET THAT IVE SEEN IDK THO I HAVENT REALLY LOOKED YET

[soap-stains]

Trials and Tribulations time!

We started pretty much immediately when we left off of Justice for All. It's only 12, so we thought we might as well.

(Turnabout Memories)

"Who is that? Oh, is that Phoenix? God damnit Phoenix."

???: *ahem!* "That's you. You're gonna see who it is, and you're gonna be so mad. . ." "Huh?" *Grossberg appears* "NOOOO! NO!" *has to take a minute to cry*

"His name is Doug Swallow?"

"Totally didn't commit a murder... Haha... Ahaha... Ha. . . . ."

I,,, she literally already knows what happened, and we're on Nick's second testimony. She guessed that Nick is covering for Dahlia(since she knows how much I hate Dahlia)

GOD DAMN THIS LADY. "Pharmacist... Poison. Sorry, that just popped into my head. It makes sense though, right? And his necklace, like we saw in the anime(I made the mistake of showing her a clip of the anime), that could hold some? Like, he could make. . . Oh, drugs. That's it. Nevermind." She's already got it all, almost! Ugh, I'm so stupidddddd... I shouldn't have talked about Dahlia as much as I did.

"Sorry! I just felt like hurting someone!" "I look for that in a woman." (she's v gay for Mia. I'm fine with it, though, since now my gayness for Franzy feels validated.)

"Feenie is a babey. Must be protected." "HE IS BABEY. In the anime, he's just annoying, but in the game he is a BABY."

"Miss Fey, I will hold you in contempt of court for badgering the witness. . . Fuck you. . ."

"Mia's cool, she's just weird sometimes." "She's weird, but she's a queen. Like all women." "...if she breathes, she's a thOOOOOOT!"

"Every time we see Grossberg, you end up crying." "I'm not crying yet."

"Am I gonna end up gay for [Dahlia]? I feel like [some of] the murderers end up being really attractive."

"What voice are you gonna give her?" "I already have one." "You're going to be voicing all but two characters, is that okay-? Oh, you always do that. Haha, nevermind."

*Mia pushes her hair aside* "Awe, that was adorable." *She says some confident line* "I... Oh." *dies of cuteness*

*says judge line while drinking milk* *ahem* "Sorry, i was drinking milk. Don't ask where i got it from. But it was that pink haired... Star." "Who are you talking about??" "Oh, right, this is in the past, I forgot. Um."

"They're all very fond of their drugs." "Me too. Ah, wait, I wasn't supposed to admit that in court. Uh, Bailiff! Strike that from the record, or I'll have your pay reduced by... Oh, I forgot, Edgeworth isn't here at this time. Time travel."

*gasp* "Does he take off his shirt???" "I- I'm sorry?" "Does he take off his sweater, like throw it off in sadness when this case is over?" "No!" "Aw." (she's very ahead of this case, man)

*as Dahlia* "Boys will be boys!" "Boys will be bugs. Y'know, because they're vermin that should be squashed under our feet."

Haven't typed in a couple hours, but,,, she went from "Dahlia's kinda cute!" to "God, she sucks so so much."

(The Stolen Turnabout)

[something where I screw up my words and said 'fuck' a couple times in Maya] "Hey! Watch your fucking language! Was that a fatherly thing to say? Sure."

Idk how but she already called which character is the murderer- Luke Atmey. She saw him and went "ew, I thought the Murderers were supposed to be hot"

"So you're saying that even though on one came...- wait, what? Even though on one- what is that saying? So you're saying that even though on one came through those doors last night... That makes no sense!" "I think it's supposed to say 'no one.'" "...oh."

Ron DeLite is babey. He is best boy and has best relationship with his wife.

"I need you to go to my hideout!" "Well, I meant my secret base..." "Your house. You mean your fucking house."

"He makes up for it in other ways." "That... Can be taken in such a wrong way." "I- wh?? Dude!" "What?!" "Other ways...?" "See! Phoenix thinks it, too!"

Mask DeMasque = Mark DeKiller, according to her

"I shouldn't have trusted you!" "What the fuck, Pearls?!" "Do you want to be thrown out like Maya?"

This music,,, is kinda sad,,, huh.

*Adrian appears* "She looks like she just had sex."

Larry appeared and she screeched in aggravation, I laughed because I forgot he was coming

"Women... I don't trust them anymore!" "So you're telling me you're gay now? Cool."

"She chose Hollywood over me!" "Sounds about right."

Pearl pronounces Godot like God-it because I want her to. As for her, she is stupid sometimes and pronounces it wrong

She already hates Godot, which I knew would happen. He's annoying most of the time, tbh. I like him only because I believe he and Mia should've been happy together, but that's really it,,, Godot is the only character I knew for a fact she wouldn't like.

"I know more about this thief than anyone! Well, other than maybe his mom!" "Well, his wife probably knows a lot." "No, she doesn't." "That's,,, That's very fair."

*About Gumshoe* "He looks like an angry puppy who couldn't actually hurt you."

"Is that Godot's theme? I don't really like it,," "Me neither, it sounds like elevator music."

"This game gives me Dyslexia, I swear."

"I don't know how I could ever repay you!" "I dunno, maybe with money?"

"[Godot]'s hot." "He's an attractive male, just an annoying person." *he smiles and she makes a weird kinda giggle* "He's so adorable." "Dang, I kinda wanna hug him. I don't appreciate that."

We've been listening to the Lordly Tailor Department Store theme just itself for a while, it's really nice! ^^

"He's so honest, he wouldn't even steal a glance!" "A glance at what?" ". . . Oh. Haha. Took me a moment."

"'PLEASE, STOP IT!' He screamed." "Wow, you sounded just like your husband. Can you do me next?" "No." "Actually, wait, no, don't. I slapped the last person who did that."

Headcanon: Ron DeLite is trans

"I can't think of [Grossberg] without thinking of hemorrhoids, now."

"I'll do whatever it takes to save my man!" *slight squeal* "Okay, I'm sorry, but I love them and their relationship."

*Maya sits in chair* "Ooh, I feel like a real CEO!" "It'd be funny if they just added in like a stick figure of Maya in the chair while she sits there. That'd be funny."

"It's a THICCC binder." *trying not to laugh* ". . .It's not funny. That's not funny." "You don't know how happy I am that you found that funny."

"[the body] fell out of a safe?!" "At least it wasn't a trunk." "I mean,, yeah, but,"

"I can't fit in these shelves!" "Maybe you could if you didn't eat so many hamburgers..." "Dang, you didn't have to come for me like that." (she proceeds to make me say 'you didn't have to come for my weave like that' in Miles' voice)

"...If you've got insomnia." "I do, actually! Sometimes." "You're not Shinsou." "Wow. I can't believe it. My life has been a lie up to this point." "Wow. You're not a purple haired loser- oh, wait. Oh, you actually are now(I dyed part of my hair purple a couple weeks ago) Okay, guess you're Shinsou now."

"I swear I want to change my ways, but I just don't have any interest in men!" -Larry Butz

(my brother talking to me) "Gotta tell you, [sister], your voices are a little one-note sometimes." "Yeah, I know." *hands me a doctor pepper* "See what I did there? Parenting technique. I insulted you and then I gave you a reward. You wanna die now?" "A little." "Good." (don't worry, he mostly didn't mean it)

"Are you calling Pearl not sane???"

*sees Ron on screen, he's giving his Testimony* "Who's this bitch. And why's her name Tess-tim-onee?" "His name's Ron." "Really? That's his name? Of course it is..."

@ Godot; "We get it. You're e d g y."

@ Godot; "Shut the fuck up~~"

"Wow Godot, didn't know you could be so feminine." "Call me feminine again, and I'll kill you." "Uhh... Judge? I'm being threatened..."

Welp. Uh. I guess she knows almost everything about Godot. I'm big stupid. Yikes. Also she might just be lowkey in love with him too but I just love his relationship with Mia. . .

I hate this "one chance" thing ughshxbdhvdn

We were both (well, mostly her) waiting for Mia to say something to Godot but it didn't happen so now I'm sad... Welp. That's it for this trial.

(Recipe for Turnabout)

"I really wanna see Mia in a maid uniform."

"Maybe he realized he's got strong feelings for you, Nick!" "I'm sorry, what?" "I really don't reciprocate. . ."

*screws up several sentences in Maggey's voice* "god daNGIT, WHY CAN'T I SPEAK WORDS?!" "She's just as annoying as I remember."

"If there's no pestering child by me, that's not me. If there's not a child yelling 'what's that?' 'can I have that?' 'look at that!' then it just isn't me. See?"

"Ugh, [Maggey's] positivity. . . Ew."

"Can I just say 'Backwards Phoenix' [rather than Xin Eohp]?"

*sees Pink Badger* "What the heck??" *a moment passes and then she sees it too* ". . .What the heck?! That's really stereotypical, the blue and pink. But it's kinda cute, like cotton candy."

"Maya says Respect Pronouns."

"Yes! Mia!!! Take a screenshot!!!"

*Godot appears* "Ugh, so hot, but so annoying."

"His metaphors get so weird at times. . ."

"I'll be squaring away (okay I don't remember what he said)!" "That's,,, very intimidating, coming from [Gumshoe]." "I'll be squaring away for your arrest!" "At least he's not squaring up." "You right."

"You really know how to drive a man nuts." "That,,, can be taken many ways. Wow, this case is... So gay."

"All he had was 58 cents?!" "That's not enough to buy chicken nuggets..." "I can't believe you."

Okay so Viola appeared and left (honestly I really like her lol) and then Armstrong did a weird thing and she was like "aHK I saw his p*nis!!! Ew!!!" And now that's our joke. That's it. P*nises.

Poor Viola ;~;. She didn't deserve what Tigre did to her!!!

godot is such a hecc sometimes

(Turnabout Beginnings)

"Awe!!! Look at Miles (on the title screen)!!! Such a boy!!!"

(about Terry) "He's such a baby!!! I just wanna hug him!!!" "You're gonna wanna hug him a lot more after this case."

"Did he just call her Kitten?? That's so adorable-" "I ship it s o m u c h hnnnnn-" *starts crying* (yes I did actually start crying)

"God, I just wanna kiss [Diego]."

"I like Diego a lot more than Godot."

"Ew, it's this guy(the judge) again."

*Miles appears* *both of us eeeeeeee*

*giggles at Edgeworth, I don't know why, I never do that*

"Stop calling me 'kitten', it makes me not think straight. . . Except it is straight."

"(Miles) looks so smug uwu. I usually hate that in a person, but I'm just in love with him."

"When Gumshoe told us Mia cross-examined him, he forgot to mention this." (he was flirting with Mia)

"Mr. Edgeworth, I'm not sure I like you... Oh, there's more-"

"I came to testify for her!" "Oh, really? Are you a magician? Or, wait, what is it called..." "A psychic?" "No, I don't think, that's what it is... Uh... Oh, yeah, a psychic!"

My dad finished up his work for the night about the same time we were finishing this case up- he was there from when Terry came to the stand to the end 😬. Then we went to bed, having finished two cases in a day. When we get downstairs in a bit, we're going to start the next case, and jfc, we're almost done with the original trilogy! It's going to be weird, moving from the Switch to my DS for Apollo Justice, but we'll adjust. And then after that... I dunno. Maybe I'll buy Dual Destinies & Spirit of Justice? Not quite sure, yet. But I have thought about it. Anyway, sorry for rambling, I just wanted to put my thoughts down, here.

(Bridge to Turnabout)

Barely into the case and we've already planned Maya's death

I've got her thinking Iris is Dahlia; good.

"I think maybe his salary has been cut a little too much?" "Y'think?" "I don't think he's getting paid at all."

"Haha, Godot's going to think it's Phoenix he's going up against, but nope!" "You know, Godot against Edgeworth is something funny I'd like to see." "I mean, you're going to see it." "...fair point."

Now that Miles is the protagonist, I'm voicing like literally every character.

Franziska appeared and she threw the controllers in anger lmao

"I was hoping [Miles] would wear blue, but okay."

God, I'm so glad to be doing Franziska's voice again UwU

"It's a do or be done in world, after all!" *snorts* "I- Hm." "Phoenix is a Done In, Miles is a Do." "Pff- there is no longer Top or Bottom, only Do or Be Done."

"I love Edgeworth as a defense attorney." "The difference between Miles & Phoenix [presenting wrong evidence] is funny. Phoenix is like 'This statement contradicts this evidence!' and Miles is like 'The statement is clearly a contradiction to this evidence!' 'No it's not?' 'Yes it is!'"

*doing the 👉👈 motion* "...[Franziska] you fucking fuck..."

*gets a call* "Hey, it's from Washington D.C." "You,,, might not wanna answer that,, Wait, please don't-" *she answers it* ". . . Eh, they hung up immediately." "I was gonna say, you might not wanna answer a call from D.C. with everything going on right now." "Well, yeah, but it's not like I have social media." "Yeah, I know. You're not at any protests or anything, but I still don't want the FBI storming my door." "Ah, yes, 'This person answered a call from Washington D.C., must be suspicious, send the FBI.'"

"God, my theories are good sometimes, better than this game's [lore]."

"They just asked Larry if he was high!" "I wouldn't be surprised [if he was]."

"Nick, you dooooooog!" "..." "..." "Go ahead, say it." "Say what?" "The joke I always make, say it." "Wh- What are you talking about? What joke?" "Oh my God, I'm so offended... What joke do I normally make?" "I dunno, sex jokes?" *sigh* "... OH! He's my husband!!!"

"That led me to finding a beautiful crystal sphere half-buried in the snoooOOOHHH-" "...?. . . Oh shIT!" (there was blood on the sphere)

"(She does look kinda cute...)" "Woah woah woah. That's okay for [my name] to say, but not you, Phoenix! You're dating her brother!"

"No whipping, you sick!" "The sick."

"[Franziska] Von Karma says Consent is Everything."

"[Godot says something along the lines of 'what's weird is the angle at which Trite is pointing his index finger']" "Excuse me, are you threatening to bite my finger off??!" "What? Why would- no!" "[something along the lines of 'sticking your finger in a socket would be better than having it bitten off IDK I can't remember']" "..." "You doubted me??"

"Why does [Godot] have Dahlia's files?" "Hm, good question. Well, actually, thinking about it. Edgeworth went digging[on Dahlia], so if Godot asked, he probably would've given it to him." "Why would Godot ask?" ". . ." *i take a pause as i think about her asking this question and the consequences of my answer* ". . .good point. Anyway-"

God I love the animation of Dahlia leaving Maya's body, the whole sequence is so good!!!

hnnn I'm starting to cry because i know godot's objection is coming hnnnnnng nooooo i might end up crying later hnnnn

"There's plenty of time for crying later." "...Really, because I'm cRyInG nOw-" "I can see that."

"She looked like she had horse feet, and I was so confused. I'm still so confused."

(Honestly, I would prefer that Iris was found Guilty than Godot be found Guilty...)

(She's choosing Godot as the murderer I'm starting to cry oh no oh no oh no oh no oh god oh fuck oh no)

"I was right, I'm happy! I didn't think I was right. You're being really silent, you're making me doubt myself. Was I right?" (No, you're not wrong, I just don't wanna say it... Honestly, it'll never not be sad for me. I love this case, but I just wish Godot would've let Iris be claimed Not Guilty and left it at that. I mean, it was his job, he couldn't let it slide. Even if it was him.)

"Awe, [Godot] did it all of good will... I can't hate him, now..."

"By the way, when I yelled[while you were in the bathroom]... I yelled 'take off your shirt!'" "I- at who?" "Godot. Anyway, if your parents or brother are awake, they would've heard that. I'm sorry."

It's Over, Isn't It? with Diego/Godot

*Iris is telling Nick how it was actually her who dated him* "Dang, even the Judge is invested."

*at Larry* "Shut up! You're beautiful, and creative, and adorable! Fuck you!"

Here we are, at the end of the trilogy. We started on March 22nd, and now we and, at 2am on June 11th. It's been a long road. Voice acting mishaps, a heck ton of notes. It's been almost 3 months. Some things have happened, but we're still going strong. Oh, but don't expect us to stop, oh no! I bought Apollo Justice! So we will be back someday. But unfortunately(for us), it won't start tomorrow. She has to go home. And maybe we'll buy Dual Destinies & Spirit of Justice? Who knows. Anyway, haha, I'ma stop typing now since we're reviewing voices. Bye!

"That was just dumb-shoe. I- I meant to say Dumb Gumshoe-"

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 12.07.17 lb

plain text version here. 

self confidence goals: ragini 😊😊😊

anika’s hiding and snooping game be hella weak. 🙄🙄🙄

god this baagad billa looks 🔥🔥🔥 in black. i can’t even. meri saansein ruk rahi hai yougaiz. 😧😧😧

LMAO SHIVAAY REFUSING TO TAKE THE HINT HAHAHAHA 😂😂😂

lololol the speed jis se anika prakat hui when ragini touched shivaay. 😆😆😆

“kaadha? what’s kaadha?” “this? this green green item is kaadha! drink this, and your health will be TAN TANA TAN TAN TAN TAARA!”

hahahahahaha shivaay’s faceeeeeeee. 😂😂😂

this family is super big on its weird kaadhas. i’m on team ragini. it looks weird and hell no to drinking it, no matter what you say, billu in black. 😒😒😒

pfffffffffft, these two be eye-fucking riiiiiiiiiight in front of her. kuch toh sharam karo. 😶😶😶

ragini makes valiant second attempt. 😌😌😌

success! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

lmaoooooooooo if looks could kill, there’d just be scorch marks on the floor where billu previously stood. 🙃🙃🙃

i’m not falling for this tej-jhanvi nonsense again. tej’s a dirty dog who will never sudharofy. he doesn’t deserve to even be on the same continent as jhanvi. 😑😑😑

“kitne dino baad hum normally baat kar rahe hai!”

yeah it’s so sad when someone trying to set you on fire and that puts a damper on civil conversation. 😕😕😕

ugh this simpering conversation is sooooo boringgggggg. im fwdinggggg. 😣😣😣

yup. fully called it. 🙄🙄🙄

WAZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAA QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEN I MISSSED YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU LOOKING FIRE AS EVERRRRRRRR 😍😍😍

... someone tell me where REAL bechaaaari svetlana is though. 😐😐😐

time for regularly scheduled Faraq Fight of the hour. 😊😊😊

baaat ka batangad. kaadha diya, zeher nahi. untwist your boxer briefs, billu. 🙄🙄🙄

he’s getting angsty and mad at her for believing that ragini is his fiancee, when that’s exactly what he wanted in the first place. stupidddddd boy. 😑😑😑

he’s thissss close to blurting out the truth. he’s this close to growling “how could you believe i could be remotely interested in anyone else?” 😌😌😌

oh ho, kabab mein omki. 😒😒😒

...yeh dikhaana tha? iske liye achcha khaasa sexy shivika moment kharaab kiya tha? 😠😠😠

ok rudra is the unfittest gym bunny i have ever seen. 10 crunches take it out of him???? son, i haven’t exercised since 2003, and *i* can do 10 crunches. 😕😕😕

also @ acp anda (as @vishwaspur calls her): who the fuckkkkkkk exercises with hair alll khulaaa and flowing around? 😑😑😑

caaaaasual misogyny time. nice to see that bit of rudra’s personality is constant. 😒😒😒

RETURN OF OLD SENSIBLE, SNARKY OMKARA. *CRYING OF HAPPY* 😭😭😭😭😭😭

pfffft, shivaay and his tarafdaari of baby brother. 😆😆😆

i honestly love how much shivaay babies rudra. it’s fucking adorable. 😚😚😚

ugh svetlana, girlllllllllll, you can honestly do SO MUCH BETTER? it painssssss me to see you waste your hotness on terrible tej. 😫😫😫

i just realised that i want svetlana and jhanvi to get together. like, as a couple. two amazing, beautiful queens. haaaaye. imagine the flawless. 😍😍😍 #jhanLana #makeItHappen

oufffffff, can this scene enddddddddd already? 😑😑😑

oh boy. what plan? will they steal jhanvi’s face next and put her in the freezer dabba? 😟😟😟

sarcasm singh oberoi needs to shut it. 😒😒😒

omkara is me. i am omkara. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

oh god are they going to sabotage his gym equipment? IT COULD KILL HIM, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS! 😧😧😧

of course pedantic singh oberoi has to sit and read the user manual. 😑😑😑

i relate with omki’s frustration level sooooo much rn. 🤦🏽🤦🏽🤦🏽

why are pinky/shakti on the DBO set of OM? 🤔🤔🤔

TAMEEZ AND DISCIPLINE? WHAT IS THIS, GURUKUL OF MOHABBATEIN? 🙄🙄🙄

ooooooop, shaktiji calling pinky out on the reallll issue. 🙊🙊🙊

oh dang. shaant shaktiji is shaaant no more. 😬😬😬

pffffffft, bhains ke aage been kyun baja rahe ho shaktiji? go do some pooja-paath instead. 😕😕😕

but yeah, this is the slow start to the pinky ka redemption track, methinks. she’ll continue with her ragini wala plan for a while, but then she’ll do something that’ll be her “ek kadam” and the family will forgive her and accept her. whatever. i don’t even care anymore. i just need her to stop being so nasty so i can stop hating her. it’s exhausting. 😖😖😖

“ab toh aaj yeh machine rahegi, ya main rahoonga!”

famous last words. 🤐🤐🤐

📰📰📰 tomorrow’s headlines 📰📰📰: oberoi scion (no, not the hot and short rude one. or the one with the hair. the other one.) killed due to stupidity. absolutely no one surprised. we’re amazed he made it this far. 

eeeeeee callback to “haath chod” moment of yore! omkiiiiiii. alavoooooo. *pulls his cheeks* 😘😘😘

i need the mom of a hot guy to throw her son at me, the way pinky is throwing shivaay at ragini. 😌😌😌 #suchSexPositive #muchProgressive #Wow 

ragini’s amazing faces of the day: 

how the fuck is dadi expecting this whole fucking taj mahal sized mansion to be painted IN ONE DAY?????????? 🤔🤔🤔

awwwww bulbul and her adorable baby cheenkein. 😊😊😊

pft. what a contrived issue. and these idiots are sooooooo useless. 😒😒😒

literally just some pics of shivika being attractively annoyed/annoying: 

this is suchhhhhhhhhhhhh a stupidddddd “problem”, lord. literally just watching for shivika and om’s hella beautiful faces. 😒😒😒

wow. gale force winds blowing inside the room at romantic scene. amaze. 😐😐😐

so... gender reversed fairy lights scene from IPKKND/DBO then. but with... gym equipment. sure. 🤷🏽🤷🏽🤷🏽

it’s amazing how little fucks i give about these two as a couple. i’m literally more invested in prinkveer. 😕😕😕

OH MY GOD WHY WON’T THIS SCENE ENDDDDDDDDDD????????? FWD FWD FWD FWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. can’t believe i’m having to sacrifice on bulbul screentime/rikara romance for this BS. 😒😒😒

there. there’s the beginning to pinky’s redemption. she’s going to try and expose him for jhanvi’s sake. but it’s gonna backfire and he’ll expose the truth about shivaay to fuck her over. oyyyy vey. 😬😬😬

these threeeee fucking idiots. don’t they have their own love/sex lives which are in shambles to attend to? khade ho kar vicariously getting kicks from the most thanda “love story” in the history of the world. 😒😒😒

greattttttt. back to square one. 😑😑😑

shivaay: “tum log ladne ke bahaane ko dhoond kyun rahe ho? come on, be nice to her, she helped you out.”

oh my god. OH MY GOD. irony just died a thousand fucking deaths right now. *lays flowers at its grave* 😧😧😧

ragini: comes to talk to shivaay.  shivaay: literally ignores her to turn to anika and randomly ask her what SHE’S up to. 😂😂😂

ohhhhhhhhh shivaaaay. why you even started this whole stupid engagement drama when you don’t even have the mettle to act on it for 10 minutes is beyond me. 🙄🙄🙄

oh nooo, ragini ki choppppp. 😋😋😋

pinky’s gonna do it. she’s gonna blurt it out. 😗😗😗

yuppppppppp. she’s... 

oh no, shaktiji is putting addddchan. and misunderstanding her intentions. 😐😐😐

I FULLY NEED JHANVI TO GONE GIRL TEJ’S ASS. LIKE YESTERDAY. PLEASE GOD. HE DESERVES TO BE STABBED IN THE FACE, THIS LYING SNAKE. 😡😡😡

ok, when someone is going to SUCH lengths to prove their story, it’s shady af. 🙄🙄🙄

yes pinky, please use your tedhaaa dimaag for productive things like these. leave your son alone for like a day, so he can get laid already.  😑😑😑

LMAOOOOOOOO WHY IS ANIKA SO SMUGLYYYYY SWAYING WHILE SHIVAAY LOOKS UNCOMFORTABLE? 😂😂😂😂😂

GENDA CHAAP DANT MANJAN. lolololol. 😆😆😆

produced by same company as chamko detergent??? 😁😁😁

of course he doesn’t know what manjan is. #burgerBachcha 🙄🙄🙄

GOD SHE’S SO STINKING CUTE I CAN’T EVEN. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE FOR ONE PERSON TO BE THIS CUTE? IT SHOULD BE BIOLOGICALLY IMPOSSIBLE! THE LEVELS OF CUTE IN HER BLOOD ARE TOO HIGH!!!!!!!!!!! 😧😧😧😧😧😧😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 

“shivaay, aap na meri baat kabhi nahi samjhenge.” “main toh tumhe hi nahi samajh paaya, anika. tumhaari baaton ko kya samjhunga.”

ooooop. things suddenly serious. though, is he talking still labouring under the misunderstanding, or does he Know™ about what she did? 🤔🤔🤔

“story kahin se kahin bhi pohunch jaaye, lekin yeh dono har do minute kisi na kisi pillar ke peeche hi milenge.” “ya phir RK pose mein!” 

lmaoooooooooo 😂😂😂

anika be like bitch i don’t have time for this passive aggressive emotional garbage. ANIKA OUT!!!!!!!!!! 😒😒😒

lololol om’s shiftyyyyyyyyy look. GODDDDD MAN, WHAT EVEN IS YOUR FACEEEEEEEEE I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUU 😍😍😍😍😍😍

hahaha khanna be hardcore shivika shipper from literally day 1. shivaay have dinner with some other ho? NOT ON HIS WATCH! ❌❌❌

pft such contrivedddddddd excuses. and these idiots are falling for it too. 🙄🙄🙄

how nice and convenient that there’s such strategic mood lighting that makes their skin look perfect and glowy. 😌😌😌

THIS ISN’T THE FUCKING STOREROOM. THIS IS THAT... ok idk what to call it, but it’s that random performance hall type space in their house. 😐😐😐 

waaah lighting got even more romantic. and there’s dinner too! 😇😇😇

me: waaay more excited about the food >>> the man. 😊😊😊

ooooooooooh. things getting serious. and angstyyyyyyyyyy. 😌😌😌

lmao what the fuck even is this tent nonsense? WHY WOULD YOU SET UP A TENT IN WHAT LOOKS LIKE A FULL-ON FUCKING STORM? HOW LONG IS OM PLANNING TO STAND THERE HOLDING ON TO THE DAMN THING????????? 😕😕😕

JUST GET IN THERE AND CUDDLE WITH HER, BOO. 🙃🙃🙃😚😚😚😉😉😉