#oh the joys of being fat and trying to buy clothes online

[snow-lavender]

hey people who got the finale shirts, did you have any troubles with sizing? did you find the sizing larger than normal commercial sizes? smaller?

[angryteapot]

Murphy’s Law v. Bruce Banner

Characters: Reader, Natasha Romanoff, Bucky Barnes, Vision, Helen Cho (mentioned), Bruce Banner

Word Count: 1740

Warnings: None, I think? Let me know if I need to add anything. 

Summary: Everything that can go wrong, will go wrong; but can Bruce Banner reverse that law and make you happy? 

A/N: Anon requested “Bruce Banner where he sees her cry for the first time and he’s like ‘no no no please don’t cry’ cause he thinks he did something wrong but it’s really because he makes her so happy? maybe involving a first kiss?” 

Prompt bolded in text, hope you like this, sweet anon! <3

You know that whole ‘whatever can go wrong, will go wrong’ thing? Yep, Murphy’s law was in full effect for you today. You woke up agitated and in pain from sleeping wrong, stubbed your toe on the leg of the bed, and very nearly fell in the shower but twinged your ankle in the process of trying not to fall.

While most of your clothes were in need of a wash, at least your favorite shirt and legging were clean. Well, they might have been clean, but you soon discovered that there were a few holes that needed mending. Wonderful.

Walking down the silent hallways to the main kitchen, you were hopeful that some coffee and perhaps a muffin would put your day back on track. You arrived to find Nat slumped over the counter with her eyes closed, Bucky cooking eggs and bacon, and Vision making a fresh pot of coffee.

Rubbing your tired eyes you greeted, “Morning guys. Where’s the rest of the team?”

Nat didn’t even bother opening her eyes before grumbling out, “Short notice PR event. We weren’t invited.”

“Good. Ain’t in a mood to deal with squabbling idiots anyways,” Bucky spoke what you were thinking, harshly flipping the sizzling bacon as he grouched.

You slumped down next to Nat at the bar counter, using her arm as a pillow. She pat your head limply as Vision set down a steaming cup of coffee in front of you.

“Mmm, thanks Vis, just what I needed.” You hummed your appreciation at him as you took your first sip. Blegh. You nearly spit out the ‘coffee’ as you choked down the sip. It was incredibly watered down, yet still managed to taste like tar. You sighed and discreetly pushed the mug a ways away from you. So much for your hopes of coffee uplifting your mood.

Nat gave you a sympathetic smile while Bucky just silently laughed from his place at the stove.

“How’s the breakfast comin’, Barnes?” You lay your cheek on the cooled countertop, wishing for a delicious breakfast for your grumbling stomach.

Bucky winced, looking slightly put out. “I dunno doll, it’s not lookin’ so great. Eggs look rubbery and bacon is mostly fat. Sorry sweetheart.”

You slid off the stool, ruffled Nat’s hair and walked around the counter to grab a muffin. “‘S okay Buck, it’s the thought that counts. Thanks for the coffee, Vis.” You side-hugged a pouting Bucky and oblivious Vision before shuffling your way back to your room, a mystery muffin in hand.

You took a bite of the muffin, gagging in angry disappointment - it was a bran muffin. You were going to punch Tony when he came back for even thinking of buying those bland monstrosities.

Tossing the muffin in the trash can as you walked into your room, you flopped on the bed, playing a few games and reading, until your alarm went off, signaling that it was time to spar with Nat. You sighed wearily and changed into your gear.

* * *

Well then… today was definitely not your day. The ankle you twinged in the shower? Yeah it was definitely bruised and swollen now. Your shoulder was slightly out of place, and you probably had a bruised rib or two.

Sparring hadn’t been any more brutal than usual, but your hadn’t been focused, and you got sloppy and made mistakes that led to injuries. Trying to look on the bright side of things, you told yourself that at least you would get to see Bruce in the med bay.

* * *

You were pouting. You knew it wasn’t dignified, but you were frustrated. Bruce hadn’t been in the med bay, and it was Dr. Cho that had scolded you for being so careless. You liked Helen, but Bruce held a special place in your heart and always made you smile.

All in all, it was just an awful day and you were in no mood to socialize. The others had come back from the PR event and declared a movie night, but you didn’t feel like joining them, instead opting to sulk in your bed for the rest of the night.

You were barely getting settled in when you heard a soft knock on your door. Close to tears of frustration, you groaned and shuffled over to answer it, opening the door to reveal… Bruce.

Bruce - with a sweet smile, holding a tray with two mugs of hot tea and a plate of, what looked like, his rarely-made scratch cookies. Bruce’s gentle, hesitant voice was like a soothing balm to your ears, “I hope I’m not bothering, I just heard you were having a bad day, and I wanted to cheer you up. Is that okay?”

Now let’s get one thing straight - you never cried. You hated crying. You tell everyone that you were dead inside that you ‘lost your tear ducts in the war.’ But with all the frustration of the day, and this sweet gesture from your favorite person? Yep - waterfalls here we come.

Bruce looked shocked, and rightfully so, because he had never seen you cry before. Not once, not even when you had fractured nearly every bone in your body, on that one mission everyone refused to talk about.

“Oh, no no no, please don’t cry sweetheart, I can’t stand to see you cry.” Bruce quickly put the tray on your desk and wrapped you in the warmest, tightest hug you’d ever received.

He said it so tenderly, so sincerely, words fierce with affection and worry. His warm hug and puppy dog eyes, paired with the sweet nickname, had you clinging to him and crying harder. He picked you up effortlessly and laid you on the bed, still in his embrace, swaddling the both of you in your softest blanket. You tried, and failed, to not focus on how strong and sweet he was.

Bruce held you tightly, and you cried into his shoulder until the tea went cold and your tears finally abated. He looked down at you with a sad smile, and you nearly cried again at how tender and worried his gaze was, and god, you were so hopelessly in love with him.

He saw the tears well up in your eyes again, pain gripping at his heart as he stroked the tears away with his thumb. He felt so helpless, seeing you hurting, and there was nothing he wanted more than to kiss your pain and frustration away.

Bruce’s mind was racing a mile a minute, weighing to pros and cons of his next decision. It would change everything. You were his best friend, one of the few who saw Hulk as part of him, not as a separate monster that needed curing. When Bruce was feeling frustrated and overworked, you were the one who breezed into his lab with a joke and a sandwich for him, looking over his notes.

You were to the one that casually pointed out his mistakes and fixed equations, the one that stayed up with him after Hulked-out missions and brought him down from his nauseous, nightmare-filled mindset in the aftermath. You never saw him as a monster, or as someone replaceable. You didn’t see the scientist with seven PHDs, you didn’t see a giant green rage monster, you saw him. Bruce steeled his nerves and decided to take the plunge, hoping he wouldn’t ruin everything.

Hugging you tighter, his hands soothingly stroking your back, his gentle voice broke the silence. “I know you’ve been having a rough day, and I don’t want to add on to it, but I can’t hold back anymore. Not with those pretty eyes staring up at me while you’re finally in my arms.”

Your breath caught in your throat, heart pounding at the implication of his words, but you kept your hope carefully caged.

Bruce took a shaky breath, steeling himself for his next words, the ones that would change everything. “I - I love you. So much more than I could ever put into words, and it hurts me to see you sad. I want to kiss all the pain away from the sad pout.”

He ran a trembling finger over your bottom lip with such reverence. “I understand if you don’t feel the same, I really do, but I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. I know it doesn’t make much sense - you and I - but I promise that I’ll never stop trying to make you happy. But if you want to forget this ever happened, we can do that too, go back to being best friends and nothing more.”

He warily looked at you, internally facepalming himself at his rambling, afraid that he just ruined his friendship with you.

Your heart was about to beat out of your chest, sadness long forgotten, joy filling you with the knowledge that he loved you too. You smiled up at him through glassy eyes and whispered, “Y’know, for being a genius, you can be pretty oblivious sometimes.”

His affronted look was soon transformed into shock as you tightened your arms around him and softly met his lips with your own.

Bruce froze for a few seconds before his brain came back online, deceptively strong arms tightening around you as he kissed back, pouring all his long-held emotions into the passionate kiss.

Was saying ‘I love you’ bold and too soon, seeing as how he’d never really been in a serious relationship? Probably. Was bruce acting wildly out of character, declaring his love and being affectionate? Most definitely, but being so close to you was making him loopy, and he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Were you both going to panic about the new change in your relationship later? Probably. But for now, you continued to sweetly kiss until you were both smiling too much to continue.

After stealing another quick kiss, because he could do that now, Bruce went to reheat the tea and cookies he had brought. While he was gone doing that, you took the moment to do an excited wiggle, laughing to yourself that you finally landed the stupidly sweet scientist you had been pining after for years.

A little while later, with full bellies and content smiles, you both lay swaddled in blankets and each other’s arms, slowly drifting off into a peaceful sleep.

Your day may have started off badly, but it had ended in the greatest joy you’ve experienced - being loved by Bruce Banner.

[plusnow]

When you grow up wearing “small” to “medium” sized clothing, you get used to the thought that every clothing item that you’re eyeing would have your size and that everything is just all the more...attainable.

When you go up to a “large” size, you slowly notice that hm...the size that you’re looking for is sometimes “sold out”.

At that point, you probably think that’s the highest you’ll go and think “oh, I’m fat now, I really need to lose some weight”.

So when those “L” sized clothing start to get tighter and more unflattering on you, you try to persist with that delusion that that is still the size for you.

Eventually, the zipper stops going all the way up and you would have no choice but to at least “try” going up a size now and then.

It doesn’t however stop you from still trying to go for “L” sized clothing, thinking it’s the weird sizing of the clothes that are mainly at fault—all because you’re able to fit into those loose and baggy styled clothing that are labeled “L”. You probably think you only need “XL” when it comes to tight-fitting, bodycon-type clothes.

And so, you also think it’s something that can be solved if you would just go on that ‘much-needed diet’.

Eventually you start to gravitate towards as well as become more attached to clothes that you can wear comfortably.

However, the tendency of that implied “temporary unavailability” reaches new heights.

You see, some clothes show the sizing options on the tags and some of those...only go up to an “L” size.

So fuck me, right?

Shopping becomes stressful for you. Choices have become limited. Your taste in fashion begins to take a back seat when you’re picking clothes now.

You start to eye clothes with caution, trying to stop yourself from appreciating them in case they don’t come in your size.

Comfort is key. Comfort is key.

Comfort IS key, but that mindset is not fulfilling on its own.

And when “XL” sized clothes stop fitting you as comfortably as they used to, you start to panic. It’s not obvious on the surface since it’s more of a growing realization...but yes, you panic.

At this point, you already know how much harder it got to find clothes that could fit you.

And for now to have to look for clothes of an even bigger size?

The future seemed bleak.

For a little more perspective on this, you live in a certain city in Asia where the people tend to be on the skinnier side and where there are endless ads for diet supplements and weight-loss treatments everywhere.

The online novels you read describe being skinny as beautiful and perfect and something often attributed to protagonists whereas the antagonists tend to be shown in a less flattering light and mocked for not being able to fit into clothes as well as the protagonists could.

This city sends the message that my size is abnormal and that I’m doing something wrong by not blending in with the norm.

Finding plus-sized clothing in popular stores such as H&M, Forever 21, Zara, etc. is like...hunting down a legendary Pokemon.

You wonder if you’d have to go hunting down obscure clothing stores that specifically sell plus-sized clothing. In your mind, you imagine them to be stores that only have drab-looking collections of clothing that no one else wanted.

You then wonder if maybe you should buy from men’s clothing stores instead as their clothing standard is bigger than that of women’s. And there are times when you really do.

You resort to buying more loose-fitting and baggy clothes as they have a higher tendency of actually fitting you.

Shopping becomes more like window-shopping to you now. Just looking and rarely ever buying anything.

When you find something that’s XL, but think that maybe it just might fit you and so you try it on...only to find out it doesn’t, you’re gutted.

If you do find something that does fit you, you treat it like it’s the holy grail and can’t help but buy it.

Not being able to buy clothes that you’d be happy to buy makes you a little more reluctant in going out or taking photos of yourself. You rarely have anything new that’s ‘nice’ to wear for those special occasions and so you excuse it with an uncaring attitude by seemingly deliberately wearing laid-back casual clothes. Dressed specifically for comfort.

Now there’s a trend of “fast fashion” and many are criticizing it—and for good reason. It’s much, much quicker now for fashion industries to churn out all kinds of clothes as they start to produce them with synthetic material (polyester, etc.) that’s easier to work with but not actually good for the environment.

On the other hand...there IS one pro to this scenario. And that is the increased variety and affordability of clothes...which leads to the booming market of online shopping.

Online shopping has especially opened your eyes to all sorts of possibilities. Together with the movement of inclusivity in today’s media and marketing, everything is now even more accessible.

It’s not exactly perfect just yet but it all feels infinitely better to be able to find clothes that you really like and could fit you well. Sometimes, that denial still manages to kick in now and then when you walk into a clothing store and try something on, but at least you have somewhere else to turn to when you can’t find something you like.

Plus, with the option of bigger sizes, you’re less worried about going up a size or two now.

For me, it was when I downloaded Shein that everything changed. To be able to choose from multiple styles while secure in the thought that the clothes can and will fit you...seems all the more magical somehow.

That was my experience.

My only problem now is trying to stop myself from buying too many clothes too quickly. I was deprived of that joy for quite some time now that I guess I have this subconscious urge to compensate for it now.

Still, it’s feeding the fast fashion industry, so I try to exercise some restraint as well as I can. So...fingers crossed.

[sarahkhalilsa]

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[digital-arts-etc]

This Artist's Hanging Gardens Find Beauty In Decay

By Isabel Lloyd On 8/15/16

Hanging flowers: “The Beauty of Decay” at Chandran Gallery, San Franciso, earlier this summer.

One summer, when the British installation artist Rebecca Louise Law was not quite a teenager, her father—then an assistant head gardener at a stately home in Cambridgeshire, England, and a man who understood the business of growing flowers en masse—insisted that his whole family bus out to one of the flat, Fenland fields near the village where they lived. It must have been late June, early July at most, because the field was brimful with the bright, airy faces of ox-eye daisies.

“I didn’t care,” says Law, a serene, fair-complexioned 35-year-old with artfully slipshod hair, as she sits in the back room of her tiny gallery in east London. “I was at the age where you’re seeing boys, and I didn’t care at all about gardening, or flowers.” While her father and younger sister were taking photos of the long-legged daisies, and her mother was drawing the daisies (it was an artistic family), Law thunked down in the middle of the field in a full-on adolescent sulk.

And then something happened. “I was just sitting there, with all these flowers at head height around me, and I couldn’t see my family. And I thought, Oh my goodness, this is amazing. I knew from my father that the field would only be like this for one or two days; it was only now that it was that strong, and I thought, How can I re-create this? How do I share it?”

Law has been sharing some of the long-brewed results of that moment at her most recent exhibit, “The Beauty of Decay” at the Chandran Gallery in San Francisco, where visitors weaved between a rain of gleaming copper wires that ran from floor to ceiling, the wires strung with the heads of 8,000 fresh gerberas, roses and statice. She has been making three-dimensional works from flowers since 2003, buying them fresh in bulk and then paying assistants to thread the individual flower heads onto wire. Often, as at the San Francisco show, she suspends the flower-filled wires from the ceiling, creating an effect that can be either tender and ethereal or, if the wires are packed closer together, disconcertingly dense, as if the world has flipped and you’re walking beneath an inverted meadow. The flowers then slowly dry and die, fading from what she calls their “poppy” reds, oranges and yellows into shades of cream, tan and pale rose, the emphasis of the piece moving gently from color to form, from vivid, superficial life to the more solid structure below: the skull beneath the skin.

Once the installation is over, the flowers are taken off their wires and stored in acid-free tissue, ready to be used again. “Absolutely nothing is wasted,” Law says. “It all goes into my archive.”

Works from this archive will make up her next show, a comprehensive, six-week presentation of existing pieces—along with a new installation made of ”all the flowers I’ve ever collected”—starting August 25 at the Broadway gallery in Letchworth Garden City in southeast England. In December, an installation she made for Art Basel will move to Art Basel Miami, and early in 2017 she will be one of seven international artists exhibiting across Denmark as part of the city of Aarhus’s program as the EU’s European Capital of Culture for 2017. Law’s flowers have bloomed in shows at the Victoria and Albert Museum in London, Times Square in New York, and—her biggest venture yet—in a semipermanent installation of 100,000 flowers in the roof of a shopping mall in Melbourne, Australia. “It’s intended to last for 10 years,” she says. ”Though if some massive spider takes up residence in it—well, we’ll have to see.”

Law’s studio is also her home: two floors above a storefront in a row of early-Victorian conversions made up equally of galleries, tony vintage-clothing stores and 24-hour mini-marts. (And guess what? It’s on the same road as London’s most famous weekly flower market; her husband buys her a bunch every Sunday—“But the deal is, he has to arrange them.”) The façade is brick, painted black to better show off the colors in the window, which in early August was filled with the fat cerulean heads of inverted hydrangeas.

Inside, the gallery walls display editions from a series Law worked on with the photographer Tom Hartford, re-creations of Dutch Golden Age still lifes by Jan Davidsz. de Heem, Ambrosius Bosschaert and Balthasar van der Ast, but with subtle subversions, such as a modern-dressed figurine peering up into the flowers. At the rear of the studio, a 3-foot plaster statuette of Christ suffering the little children is draped with garlands of minute, pinkish-white gypsophila interspersed with the iridescent green bodies of beetles. The dead insects are a typical Law move, a dainty, sly reminder that when it comes to the works of man, mortality always gets the upper hand. Still, the works of man—or rather, women—are much in evidence: At the table that almost fills the center of the room, four women, one wearing a floor-length caftan with a brightly embroidered hem, are stringing frilly orange helichrysum and laying each wire into long cardboard boxes marked “Nike”—part of a commission for the sportswear brand.

Nike is a little late to the party. The earliest adopters of Law’s work were high-end fashion houses—fashion loves flowers, nature’s own luxury brand—and a breakthrough moment came in 2011 when Hermès commissioned Law to fill the glass roof of the Floral Hall at London’s Royal Opera House. (If you have any illusions about how big brands sniff out new talent, abandon them now: They searched for “art with flowers” online.) This was eight years after Law had used flowers for the first time, in a “hideous” piece she made at the end of her third year studying fine art at Newcastle University. “I was trying to paint in 3-D. I had used food, sweets, wool, and some flowers in amongst it all,” she says. “And I actually didn’t even think of them as flowers. I was just trying to find any kind of materials I could use as my palette.”

Frustrated, she went home for the summer, where her dad’s nursery beds were full of “huge, stunning, colorful dahlias. I asked, ‘What do you think about these drying? Do you think they’ll dry well?’ And he said, ‘Yes! Of course they will, and they’ll be brilliant!’ So I took a whole carload back to university that September.”

Once there, she spent a week hanging the dahlia heads on fishing line, in “an exact square, very precise,” from the ceiling of the university’s installation space. “It felt like I was creating [a] painting in the air. Then when I saw the interaction between the viewer and the work, I realized this was beyond color. My obsession with color suddenly became not the most important thing. Instead, it was about the interaction between human beings and nature, and, too, the transformation of the flowers, which dried into a whole other material.” It might have taken a while, but that field in the Fens had worked its way out.

Law’s father was not just responsible for giving her early inspiration and materials; he also introduced her to an art collection that continues to inspire her: the Golden Age still lifes at Cambridge’s Anglesey Abbey, the former priory where he worked. From the beginning, Law was fascinated by how these paintings “capture time”—by which she seems to mean arrest it as well as portray it. They are highly artificial constructs, almost the diametric opposite of the Van Gogh way of stuffing flowers in a vase and then painting them, fast and bright, there and then. The combination of flowers and fruit they show was aseasonal, outside time, and Law knows from trying to reconstruct it that “the balance is impossible—the flowers defy gravity.”

Those 17th-century paintings also had a job to do: advertising new varieties of flowers from Dutch growers. Today, Law buys much of her raw materials from the Dutch, often homing in on whichever variety might have been over-grown that year in order to reduce her environmental footprint: The Dutch glasshouses grow at such scale that, even when she was installing in Melbourne, there was a moment when she thought it might be greener to get her materials from Amsterdam. In the end, though, local growers won the day, and all 150,000 flower heads were antipodean.

About 90 percent of Law’s work is large-scale work for public consumption, but her gallery sells limited, color-photograph editions at about £1,500 ($1,950) for a print. She also accepts private commissions, installing pieces in people’s homes for between £3,000 ($3,900) and £8,000 ($10,400). No one has yet complained when the flower sculpture that cost thousands begins to die, seeming to accept Law’s contention that the fading is a way of showing flowers not as “purely ephemeral objects but as a beautiful sculptural material for you to enjoy for a lifetime.” According to Law, visitors to the Chandran have certainly enjoyed it: “People were walking through and getting tangled up in the flowers, and going, ‘Aaahh!’”

She dreams of spreading the joy even further, filling the Turbine Hall at London’s Tate Modern with an upside-down meadow made of flowers donated by the public from people’s gardens. You imagine that vast space filled with people, sighing with pleasure, modern Marvells ensnared by flowers. Wouldn’t that teenager, sitting awestruck in a field, be delighted?

http://www.newsweek.com/2016/08/26/rebecca-louise-law-flower-installations-490502.html