thelipglossbitch

[thelipglossbitch]

oh it’s...it’s a writing prompt

You wake up in the middle of the night to your phone pinging like crazy. After you check it, you see several messages, some from numbers you don't recognize, telling you to wake up.

[thelipglossbitch]

You wake up in the middle of the night to your phone pinging like crazy. After you check it, you see several messages, some from numbers you don't recognize, telling you to wake up.

[thelipglossbitch]

I just had a dream where I met Obama and I was like, “Hi! I’m a really respect what you did for the country!” and he laughed and was like “oh yeah? what did I do?” and I couldn’t think of anything so I just replied “a better job than trump”

[thelipglossbitch]

me: *driving to taco bell in a pink sparkly Barbie jeep at 3 am* I put the BAD in BADASS, babey <3

[thelipglossbitch]

me: *has been on the internet for 17 hours straight*

me: wow I should rly go outside

me: oh wait.

me: I cant.

me: ...oh well! :) *happily opens insta again*

[thelipglossbitch]

me: pls..im begging you...I need affection or. I. DIE.

someone: hey

me: *calling the girls* omg you will not believe how clingy this guy is. wow. blocked. cannot believe men nowadays.

[thelipglossbitch]

do you ever just get a vibe that someone has a crush on you and then you’re not sure if they actually do or if you’re just really really self-absorbed

[thelipglossbitch]

omg my dad just used the word “orgasmic” to describe krispy kreme donuts literally shoot me

[thelipglossbitch]

bruh my Instagram captions are like random asf like half the time they’re like some beautiful but cringey deep quote by an artist like “if I love you was a promise, would you break it if you’re honest...” and then the other half it’s like: “I haz c h e e z e b o r g e r”

[thelipglossbitch]

me: *logs onto any social media*

social media: EXCUSE ME MA'AM DO YOU HAVVA MINUTE TO TALK ABOWT AR LAWD AND SAVIOR C O R O N A V I R U S

[thelipglossbitch]

hope donald trump dies soon :) think that would cheer a lot of folks up

[thelipglossbitch]

that sad, sad moment when you realize that your seventh grade health lesson understood you better than your parents ever did

[thelipglossbitch]

A general strike? On April 20th, 2020? To make an aid plan that would be permanent? To make healthcare a right? That’d be crazy to have happen on April 20th. Absolutely crazy for a general strike on April 20th. Nothing is going to happen on April 20th, 2020 in the form of a general strike. Nope, not on April 20th, 2020. 

This can’t happen. Nope. Nothing. Will. Happen. On. April 20th 2020.

[thelipglossbitch]

Please fire me. I work at McDonald’s and last week I spent 15 minutes trying to explain to an old man they we do not sell hot dogs (McDogs as he claimed it) then he threatened to report me for “withholding products from him”!

[thelipglossbitch]

I just impulsively baked 42 cookies, researched a man in connection to several crimes in florida, and deep cleaned my entire room. crazy shit happens when you’re quanatined, apparently.

[thelipglossbitch]

[thelipglossbitch]

If i had a dollar for every time someone called me ugly id have 0 dollars bitch what u thought lmao