I don’t like minimizing the importance and gravity of Laios and Toshiro’s fight into just being a childish squabble, even if to a degree it is framed that way, because to both of them it has a lot of personal significance and emotional weight and runs very deep to their characters… The fight isn’t nothing it’s a LOT, they made up but it’s not something easy to express and to get over for either of them which makes it all the more meaningful! I’m on both sides but there very much are sides, there’s no "they’re both having a ball, Toshiro and Laios hand in hand yay" side to the fight, that comes after
The fight with Toshiro WAS very scary to Laios, almost existentially so, but it’s moreso the "I thought I’d made a friend!!" bit and my god. My god actually
Like it’s not "just" about oh his friend liking him less than he thought, THAT IS SO MUCH. It’s a bond he thought he had being a lie it’s all the time and moments spent together either being a lie from his perspective or marred now looking back. It’s not only being upset at Toshiro for lying but upset at himself that he’s so easy to fool, it’s being upset that there’s something so wrong with you that you can’t even tell if your "close buddy" even actually likes you or not, it’s like. Holding my head. He can’t trust his own vision of events that happened do you see. There’s always this film of distrust that it could be a lie that should be there when he interacts with people there’s always this sense of cloak and dagger to expect backstabs out of nowhere because you CAN’T see it coming you CAN’T you CAN’T there’s something about you which makes it impossible so you CAN’T-
He’s so scared of not being able to read people. He knows it’s a weak spot he has, he’s always known. All of these bits are centered around social expectations and betrayals, the assumption that he doesn’t belong either in society or with other humans.
And Laios’ level of awareness is actually sort of complex to analyze, but it’s there, there’s how out of him and Falin he was the one sensitive to the ~aura of hatred~ he felt from the townspeople, there’s of course his nightmares whispering to him about the mocking looks, and how yeah actually he realizes that his gold stripper coworker was taking advantage of him. There’s of course the Winged Lion speech about his trauma and how he fundamentally mistrusts/dislikes humans to some deep seated degree, this distrust that he still keeps under control always. There’s how pre-canon he often wanted to suggest eating monsters but never worked up the courage to bring it up with the others. There’s how he gets across as stoic when he isn’t being enthusiastic…… We don’t know how aware and wary he is exactly in the moment but we do know he has some anxiety around social stuff, and looking back he does notice and aughh augh, the sense you have to hide yourself to not get hurt and be on your guard and shit and.
When you don’t know what to look out for and when to look out for it, the general ‘common sense’ of not always trusting people or noticing when someone’s messing with you becomes hypervigilance in social settings
"Man they really know what you hate huh". Being socially unaware literally plagues him, he knows, he knows it so well.
It’s so quick that it’s almost hard to digest how literal and blatant Laios summoning his monster to crush all the people who’ve hurt him is. His literal go-to coping mechanism for comfort in his literal monster-induced emotionally intense nightmares, saving him by taking away the upsetting element (the humans)
"Monsters are his coping fantasy, where they can whisk him away from humanity, all the hurt it’s caused him and its arbitrary rules" with the subtlety of a brick. Monsters are his comfort safe zone "because they kill humans" yes but no it’s because he pits them as the guardians against humans who to him are in the role of the agressors. To him they represent freedom from the shackles of what it means to be part of humanity, a fundamentally social species
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Imagine: going to a Garden centre/Plant Nursery with Miguel O’Hara
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🕷 - No I don’t care if this is stupid. Yeah I just got back from a garden centre when writing this.
🕷 - They are so much fun, I don’t care if it’s a bit old person of me.
🕷 - This man is willing to do old people stuff with you.
🕷 - Your both wandering around and he keeps stopping to look a grills because it’s,,, he’d totally yearn for a grill. It’s a feeling. But he always moves on because he’d get angry at himself for wanting something domestic like that.
🕷 - He pushes around the cart.
🕷 - No get off he’s doing it.
🕷 - He will follow you, just get what you want babe.
🕷 - He’s not a plant guy, he’s never been a plant guy. But in this scenario you are DEFINITELY a plant person. So when you ask to go together he starts the car in a heartbeat.
🕷 - It’s like a little date.
🕷 - He always comes prepared. If you go in the spring or summer then you’ll definitely feel the heat.
🕷 - It hits him way harder, he’s much more sensitive in every way, so he sweats a lot more. Awooga.
🕷 - He’s got water on hand if you get thirsty. Your welcome babe.
🕷 - There are always people with dogs EVERYWHERE in these places. Watching you love on every dog you pass by makes him want to get a puppy.
🕷 - He acts like a cat, but I feel like he’s secretly a dog guy really deep down, you know.
🕷 - Every dog is obsessed with him, even if he shows no interest in petting them. it drives you up the wall.
🕷 - If anyone runs their cart into you he will beat ass.
🕷 - If anyone speaks to you disrespectfully he will beat ass.
🕷 - He is literally ready to beat so much ass at any given moment. Just because he’s nice to you doesn’t mean he’s like that with everyone else.
(I literally checked those 3 paragraphs multiple times to make sure I spelt ‘beat’ right.)
🕷 - His main personality trait is carrying heavy things for you.
🕷 - He doesn’t mind if you wanna peruse a bit… it’s ok since it’s you. He one of those people that will literally go with whatever. If your happy then he’s happy.
🕷 - He hardly gets time away from work. And his ‘night gig’ takes up a lot of his time too. Between all that and The Society… that doesn’t leave a lot of time for you. It makes him feel really guilty, So he is completely willing to do or buy whatever you’d like.
🕷 - He doesn’t understand why you keep trying to save wilting and dying plants. Why would you pay full price for a half dead orchid when there’s dozens of healthy ones right next to it??
🕷 - He doesn’t mind paying for it but he wants you to have the best. >:(
🕷 - When you both get home he’s reminded of why you do it.
🕷 - Your home is full of heathy, happy plants, nurtured by your loving hands. It’s a statement of the kind of person that you are. Full of love freely to give.
🕷 - He loves you so much.
🕷 - If your into propagating succulents he’ll point out all the random cuttings cascaded on the floor for you to grab. He likes seeing your eyes light up.
🕷 - you will leave that place with handfuls of cuttings.
🕷 - Free real estate babyyyy.
🕷 - Seeing all the kids totting along with their families makes his heart clench.
🕷 - One day you see a little boy ducking between some large pots, he seems to be hiding away from all the big shopping carts rolling by.
🕷 - Miguel sees him first, his heightened sense pick up on his nervousness almost immedietaly, but he hesitates.
🕷 - he’s not sure what to do, He doesn’t really know how to approach kids anymore.
🕷 - While he’s fighting an internal battle within himself, You swoop in.
🕷 - You ask if the kid is ok, and you take his hands and lift him out from between the stacked pots. He giggles and Miguel’s heart skips a beat.
🕷 - Miguel stands next to you awkwardly, watching in awe as you work your magic and make the kid laugh. You dry his tears and give him something to drink.
🕷 - He tells you he got separated from his mom in the confusion of all the crowd, and that he tried to stay put and wait for her to come back. You tell him how he’s such a smart boy, and that he was very brave.
🕷 - Miguel lifts him on to his shoulders silently so he can spot his parents. The man absolutely towers over all the plants. When he hears the kid giggling above him his the kid giggling above him his resting bitch face relaxes a bit.
🕷 - Miguel comes out of his shell a bit more as you both wait for his parents. The kid absolutely loves him. Miguel is starting at the sweet expression on your face as you chat with the kid and he is absolutely w i n d e d.
🕷 - has he ever told you that your really good with kids.,,
🕷 - haha.
🕷 - down bad fr.
🕷 - Then you spot Two women rushing towards you and they thank you both for finding and helping their son. And the moment is over.
🕷 - You assure them that it’s not a problem and you mention how sweet their child is.
🕷 - After you give a little wave you turn back to Miguel and he’s— wait.
🕷 - “Miggy, why are you looking at me like that?”
🕷 - “Like what, cariño?”
🕷 - Y e a r n i n g .
🕷 - Bro will literally drag you home, immedietely.
🕷 - Sorry not sorry.
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hmm I wonder where kay has been
hi guys it’s my birthday and today I remembered that I have tumblr omg!!!! anyway. where has kay been?
sorry for not posting for like 20 years😭😭😭 i kinda stopped drawing for a little while cuz college applications were happening and that’s a preeeeeettttttttyyyyyy big deal at least for me so i vanished and didn’t post any Blitzwing 😵 can you BELIEVE IT? NO BLITZWING? On @kayrllylikesblitzwing?!(!?(?! Are you JOSHING me rn????
and then after the college apps had all gone down i had scholarshipss to fill out and my Apple Pencil DIED like it completely stopped working, charging, or even pairing to my iPad and I didn’t want to post my traditional stuff because Guys. Guys I’m such a FAKER my traditional is so BAD BAD BAD! so I just kinda forgo about posting but now here I am. New Apple Pencil. Posting!!!!
except it’s been a long year LOL and ive really started liking another show outside of transformers fandom. It’s a pretty small show, pretty niche, pretty undergrou—
it’s fucking chainsaw man
here’s one of my chainsaw man ocs her name is ume and she’s like kobeni if kobeni had no skills whatsoever but lots of money and a closeted desire to be emo😭😭 ume is fun to shitpost even though she’s stupid and in the stupid lore I’m writing dies horribly oopsie-daisy
I have a BUNCH of csm ocs so I might post them sometime to get them outta my system so then I can go back to BLITZPOSTING YAAAYY it’s actually been so long the last time I drew Blitzwing was likiiike a few months ago
anyway I am cringe but I am free thanks for showing up 😭😭😭
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