#i only got a glimpse both times i saw them last week so maybe it’s the last option

[distantsolarsystemsandsnails]

so it seems like the hot person either isn’t coming OR i wasn’t paying enough attention and missed them OR they were that person i saw and they’re not as hot as i thought they were :/

[dumbkiri]

𝕯𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖒𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖋 𝖄𝖔𝖚 2

ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴡᴏ

𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐞𝐧𝐚 𝐓𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐞𝐧 𝐱 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

@lionheart178

You both asked for it and I couldn't resist. If this is well received as much as the first part, part three will include Rhaenys v Aegon v Aemond

Apologies for any mistakes spelling wise and story wise. HOTD is confusing okay!

[Name] woke up at the beginning of dawn with a knock at the door. The knock only stirred him awake because he trained his body to wake at any sound, also because he stayed alert after what happened last night. He couldn’t allow another assassination to happen under his nose. 

He blinked his eyes open and looked around the bed. Somehow Daenerys and her dragons made their way in between him and Helaena, the little girl being embraced by her mother protectively. The man sighed at the peaceful sight and he took himself out of bed with smooth movements. He didn’t want to stir his family from their sleep, not yet anyways.

The person at the door had a great amount of patience, [Name] noted. So the list of names got shorter. It couldn’t be his twin, Aegon, or his younger brother Aemond. Both would have stormed in without a second thought. His mother had patience, but her anxiety would have made her knock on the door again. The other people on this list like the council members, he didn’t want to talk to at such an early time. 

Politics were boring. 

Even still, he slipped a loose shirt over his head and popped his arms into the sleeves. Then he walked over to the door, the sleep gone from his eyes and his lips ready to spew out a curse here and there at the person for wanting to have a conversation so early. 

His hand grabbed the handle of the door and he opened it up to reveal a disheveled Aegon. His twin brother looked like a terrible mess and [Name] swiftly brought him into the large room. Aegon didn’t need to be seen by the castle people. Lords and Ladies would be talking about him for days, maybe even weeks about how he looked. 

The curse words on his lips fell short when he caught a glimpse at his twin. [Name] led Aegon over to the couch and sat him down while he took a seat across from him. Aegon sniffled and looked over to the left where he saw bodies laying on the bed with relaxed breathing. 

“They’re making mother and Jeyne follow Jaehaerys on a cart,” Aegon said softly looking back at [Name], “they s..stitched his-”

“I know, brother,” [Name] responded with a defeated sigh. It was no secret what those ratcatchers did to Jaehaerys. The poor boy had no reason to go through that pain and suffering. “You can tell Otto not to go through with this. You can grieve in a healthy way, Aegon. Have you seen your queen at all?” 

Aegon looked down at the floor with his hands fumbling over with each other, “No.”

[Name] leaned back into the sofa and said, “You should go and see her.”

“She can’t see me like this!” He whispered, gesturing to his messy look. His red eyes puffy from all the crying he did. His breath smelled of wine too. 

“It’ll be good for her to see you like that,” [Name] replied, “because it shows Jeyne that you are a grieving father. She is a grieving mother, you think she looks pretty like a queen right now?”

Aegon processed his words and he wiped his nose with his sleeve. Then he asked, “How do you not look like me? How can Helaena sleep as if her son didn’t die?” The glare didn’t go unnoticed by [Name] and he leaned forward feeling animosity radiate off of Aegon’s body. If Aegon wanted to speak ill about him and his wife, he should have spoken to someone else. 

But he bit his tongue and relaxed, his twin just needed to understand. To learn how to grieve properly. 

“I don’t look like you because I leaned on my wife for support. Helaena could sleep knowing I was in bed with her along with our daughter. Listen to what I have to say Aegon, you need your wife and she needs you. Nothing is more important than her. You do your best to love your family and to protect them.”

The lilac eyed man clutched his knees and sneered, “I regret not being there for them. I regret taking Balerion on patrol when I should have been asleep already. But she lifted the weight of my shoulders and loved me. She understood my plight despite dealing with her own. A husband and a wife need a sturdy foundation to stand on. If the floor beneath her crumbles, I know I’ll be there to hold her hand. To repair that foundation with her. That’s what you and Jeyne need to do. Grieve together, love each other and repair the foundation.”

[Name] lowered his voice when he saw a small body rise up in her bed. The little girl looked around frantically and finally spotted her father sitting on the sofas across the room. Quickly she slid out of bed and her feet carried her over to her father. 

“Daenerys,” [Name]’s features softened and he opened his arms wide to capture his little girl in his arms, “why are you crying, little one?” 

Aegon watched how loving his twin was. He never admitted it out loud, but [Name] made high expectations in being a father. He didn’t drink every night, he trained his son every day, cared for their studies and even joined Daenerys in her embroidery classes. To which brought happiness to Helaena. 

“You weren’t in bed, I thought you left us,” Daenerys cried and hugged her father tightly. Meanwhile [Name]’s heart constricted with a little heartbreak. Left us, she said. Daenerys recognizes the danger without him, the consequences of an absent father. [Name] rubbed his hand up and down her back, bouncing the leg she sat on. 

“Everything is alright, Dany. I’m here, I’m here,” He repeated and pressed a kiss at the crown of her head. After a time, her sobs quieted down and she remained in his arms, not wanting to go anywhere else. 

Aegon with a small smile on his face said, “I forgot how close Dany was to you.” He spoke the truth. Daenerys very rarely left her father’s side besides when she had to go to classes. She often flew on Balerion with him and watched Rhaegar train in the fields. Daenerys admired her father a lot, no one could ruin his image. Not even the ratcatchers. 

“You hear that Dany,” [Name] peered down and nudged his forehead against hers, “Your uncle thinks you spend too much time with me.” 

Dany wiped her tears and said, “Not enough time, uncle. You always take Father away.” Her teasing glare made Aegon feign a surrender, his hands held up high. A chuckle left Aegon’s lips and [Name] came to another realization. Aegon didn’t need Jeyne to help him grieve. 

“Please forgive me, dragon warrior,” Aegon playfully responded, “but your father is an exceptional fighter. He protects this kingdom so well and always stands up for me.” 

Daenerys laughed and sat up wanting to play along with her uncle. The little girl wrapped her arms around [Name]’s neck and said, “But who will stand up for Father? Do you think you’re worthy enough to protect the Warrior of Light, the rider of Balerion?” 

Aegon subtly looked at his twin and [Name] mouthed, “She takes play pretend seriously, you’re in for it now.” 

To which, Aegon didn’t mind because this moment distracted him from the night before. His niece took away the pain, her demanding words and playful attitude brought him into a different world. Play pretend, [Name] called it. How often did his twin brother play like this with his children? 

[Name] knew exactly what Aegon was thinking and he spoke up, “Daenerys and Rhaegar are very creative and imaginative. She plays the role of a dragon warrior, defender of the realm while Rhaegar played as a priest, a man of truth and light.” 

Aegon smirked and before he could ask what was up with that, [Name] shook his head with a grin, “Don’t ask me why, Rhaegar was different in many ways. Anyways Helaena, chosen by Rhaegar, was the Queen and you could only imagine what they made me.” 

“Oh~” Aegon kept his smirk, “they made you a king?”

[Name] laughed and responded with mirth, “A bloody peasant in love with the widowed queen.” 

Aegon hollered and fell back into the cushions of the sofa. “Your kids hold you very high in opinion, but in their world they made you a peasant!” Aegon could not believe what he heard. 

“Yes, we all dress up for our game too,” [Name] laughed again, “my clothes are very itchy, I tell you.” 

The brothers laughed together, but [Name]’s died down a bit before Aegon’s. The older twin enjoyed seeing that smile on his brother’s face. Aegon needed him, [Name] told himself. Him and his family to cheer him up. But they were to leave, very soon. Guilt ate at him and he debated whether to tell Aegon of his plan, but his brother wouldn’t take it lightly. 

[Name] planned to move to the other side, taking Dreamfyre and Balerion with him. Taking Moonlight, Nightmare and Frostfang, his children’s dragons. That’s adding two dragon riders to the Blacks. Technically one because Helaena could never burn people. [Name] would have to make that point abundantly clear to the Blacks. 

“Aegon, there’s something I must tell you.” 

[Name] saw Aegon catch his breath, a faint smile still present on his face. 

“You are strong, brother,” [Name] kindly said, “Yes, others may think you’re only a drunk. But I’ve seen you in the throne room trying to help out your subjects. Only to have Otto strike you down. I’ve seen you try to take charge, only to have that fire stoked out by the council members.”

[Name] brought his lilac eyes to meet Aegon’s shining eyes, “Do what you must to keep your fire burning. Because once it’s out, who knows how long it’ll take to rekindle it. Don’t let Mother strike you down, don’t let Otto control you anymore and most of all, don’t let Aemond underestimate you. You are their King, not their pawn.” 

A spark ignited in Aegon’s chest. Little did [Name] know, his fire was already out. But his words ignited the hearth in his heart. And it burned with strength and passion. Then [Name] stood up, carrying a quiet Daenerys in his arms. 

Aegon followed quickly and shook his head, “You should have been King, [Name]. I don’t know why Father chose me when you were the perfect candidate.” 

Smoothly [Name] responded, “I never wanted it.” The confusion on Aegon’s face made [Name] continue, “The crown, the throne, it’s all a game. I don’t know how to play it and you don’t know either. But Otto does, he played it well too. Having his daughter court our father while he grieved for our half sister’s mother was a ploy to get one of us on the throne. To have someone he can control. Do you think you sit on the throne, brother?” 

Aegon blinked then casted his eyes onto the floor, “Not really. No one takes me seriously. The council meetings take place with my opinions never heard.”

“Which is why you announce your presence. Every member of the council is afraid of Aemond because he rides Vhagar. Everyone is afraid of me because I have Balerion. What can you do to make them afraid of you?” 

“I don’t know.” Aegon replied. 

[Name] shifted Daenerys to his other hip and said, “We all have something in common that people are afraid of. Dragons are dragons, beasts the normal folk cannot begin to understand. Not like us. So show them you’re a dragon rider and a king, make them afraid of you. You’re the rider of Sunfyre.”

Aegon cleared his throat and walked over to the door. He felt a shift in the room and he looked back at his brother. This moment, it felt too somber and Aegon had to tell him something too. 

“Brother, thank you for this.” 

[Name] nodded, “I always have your back, Aegon.”

After Aegon left, [Name] moved over to the bed and wasn’t surprised that Helaena woke up. Perhaps she had already risen long ago. 

“Hello, my sweet lady,” [Name] sang and placed Dany on the bed next to her mother. Then he leaned over and pressed a light kiss on Helaena’s lips. His hands held her face with love and he pressed into a little deeper. She returned his passion and asked in between his kiss, “Did you mean it when you said it to Aegon?” 

“Of course, I did,” [Name] pulled back and sat by her bedside, taking her hands into his own. He rubbed her knuckles and brought them up to his lips. He kissed her gently and put them back on her stomach. “Now we shall get ready for our journey before the rest of the castle wakes.” 

Helaena pushed herself upward and suddenly embraced her husband. His eyes widened in surprise and he looked down at his wife with questions. Nonetheless, he kept his mouth shut and embraced her back. She felt amazing with her chest pressed up against his. He could feel her heartbeat, hear the slow breaths her lungs took in. Without noticing, his hands dragged themselves lower holding onto her waist. 

He dipped his head down and his lips started leaving a trail of kisses on her neck. One hand held her back pressing her further into him while the other hand held her head. His fingers threading in her long hair and pulling the strands gently down, so she could look up at the ceiling. It gave him more access to her neck, to her breasts. 

He would have dived straight for them if she didn’t remind him who was watching. “This isn’t the place, [Name],” Helaena spoke timidly and he pulled back to see Dany covering her eyes with her small hands. He chuckled with an apology to his wife and daughter. 

“You’re very hard to resist, my love. Excuse my behavior.” He pressed a sweet kiss on her cheek and stood up, ignoring the beautiful look in her innocent eyes. 

Helaena smiled at his bashful look and pushed the throbbing in her core away. Yes, he was also very hard to resist. She’s surprised they didn’t have more children running around them. In due time, she told herself. 

……

They’ve been in the air for quite some time and the morning sun began to rise with soft yellows and pinks.  [Name] opted out on wearing his black armor while riding with his children, but kept Hellfire strapped to his waist. 

Viserys, given a medicine to help him sleep during the flight, drooled onto [Name]’s shoulder. The father didn’t mind and he looked down in front of him to see Daenerys holding onto the cages that kept the three tiny dragons there safely. Her long hair braided into two and she wore a light blue dress paired with her mother’s. 

[Name] looked to his left and watched Helaena fly quietly next to him. She was a good distance away from him because of Baelrion’s long wingspan. So he kept a careful eye on her from time to time as well as their surroundings. If the Blacks attacked them now, the fight would be devastating for his surrendering family. 

He came for answers and sanctuary. He didn’t want a fight. 

Finally Dragonstone came into view and [Name] commanded Balerion with a powerful voice to land on a beach near the Black’s base. Balerion roared into the sky to announce their presence, no doubt alarming the people in Dragonstone. The descent was a little too fast for Viserys and the tiny boy cried all the way down, alarming Helaena who followed after the Black Dread. 

When they touched, Balerion dug his claws into the sand and lowered his neck so the Targaryen family could climb down. [Name] being the first one off the giant dragon helped his daughter down. The small girl watched hopped into his arms, careful that the cage didn’t smack him. 

Helaena touched down fast next to Balerion and released the reins on Dreamfyre while [Name] moved the swaddle from his back to his front. 

He tried to ease Viserys and when he turned around to ask his wife for help, Helaena was already next to him. A worried mother is quick to help her babes, he’s always reminded. [Name] handed Viserys over to his wife with no hesitation and she soothed him with gentle caresses and hushed mumbles. 

Then a loud screech resounded in the sky and he looked up to see three dragon riders making their way to the beach. A golden dragon, a burning red one and a small one. [Name] knew these dragons and their riders, Rhaenyra, Rhaenys and Jace. Luckily for him, Daemon wasn’t with them.

The three landed on the beach a safe distance away from Balerion who challenged them a little too quickly for [Name]’s liking. The black beast held his head high and covered [Name]’s family with a wing. Daenerys awed at the sight and Helaena looked at [Name] wearily. 

“Lykiri, Balerion,” [Name] walked forward with a hand raised at his defensive dragon, “lykiri.” 

Balerion quieted down, his throat bobbing up and down a few clicks and groans rumbling in his chest. His tail swished about on the sand and he lowered his head down to his rider, pressing his large head onto [Name]’s side making the man stumble on the sand. 

With a quick pet, [Name] ran his hand down the scales and rough skin of Balerion’s snout. His eyes dragged away from his beast to the three hesitant dragon riders across from him. He looked back at his family and Helaena gave him a nod of approval. This wasn’t a fight, [Name] reminded himself as he walked forward. Be respectful and pledge your support to Rhaenyra. 

Offer yourself and Balerion to her cause, he told himself again. 

When he walked up to a respectful distance for a conversation, [Name] greeted his estranged family, “Sister, cousin and nephew, I don’t mean to alarm you.”

Was that a good start? To let them know that he wanted no fight. He didn’t use their titles, not quite used to addressing them as so since he acknowledged his brother as the king and such. 

“If not to alarm us,then what do you want?” Jace questioned, resting his hand on the pommel of his sword. 

[Name]’s own fingers itched to rest on Hellfire, but if he did that Balerion would take it as a sign to defend his rider and his family. So he kept his hands at his sides and responded with a calm tone, nothing like Jace’s hostile tone. 

“Originally I came here looking for answers-”

“With two dragons at our front door, one bigger than the rest of ours?” 

Rhaenrya and Rhaenys both snapped their heads over at Jace to silently tell him to keep his mouth shut. Both being mothers and both wanting to know the reason why [Name] was here. But if the lilac eyed man kept getting interrupted, then he wouldn’t get to the point. 

“Please, nephew, let me finish my sentence,” [Name] gritted his teeth, his patience running thin, “I came here looking for answers about my son’s death. They are pinning Jaehaerys’ death and Rhaegar’s on your shoulders. So did you or did you not give the order to murder our sons?”

He directed his question to his half-sister. 

“Sons?” Her voice faltered and she took a step forward, “Rhaegar was killed as well?” Rhaenrya looked behind [Name] and saw a visibly concerned Helaena with Daenerys and Viserys by her. But no Rhaegar. 

[Name] sadly nodded, his throat constricted closing the airways painfully. He cleared it away and said, “He died trying to protect his cousin. They slammed him up against the wall and strangled him. My boy didn’t stand a chance against a ratcatcher.” 

“I-I,” Rhaenyra’s eyes watered up, “I did not give the order, this was done without my knowledge by my husband.” 

Immediately a scoff left his lips and [Name] looked over at the water. He muttered with a disdainful look on his face, “Of course he did, I’m sure he did it to get revenge for you. Aegon is looking to do the same, but I am not. I blame my mother and her cunt of a guard, Cole.”

“What happened?” Rhaenys asked, trying to get the whole story. They received word that Jaehaerys was killed, but no mention of Rhaegar. Now [Name] put the blame on his own mother and her sworn protector, Criston Cole. 

“I went out to fly Balerion in the night while Helaena and Jeyne entertained the children in their rooms. One ratcatcher and a man of the Night’s Watch came in claiming ‘A son for a son’.  They cut Jaehaerys’ head off while another strangled Rhaegar. This happened because the knights were relieved from their watch on the order from their Lord Commander. While the boys were on their way to their deaths, Jeyne and Helaena took the remaining kids out of the room looking for help. But there was none. So Helaena went into our mother’s room.”

He took a deep breath in and balled up his hands, he looked back at Rhaenyra and finished off his explanation, “My son died because my mother wanted to get a good fuck in before she turned in her bed.”

Rhaenyra couldn’t believe it, but at the same time she did. Alicent always posed as this woman of faith. Cole posed as a man worthy of the white cloak, ordering people here and there like he was above them. But they were scum, trash beneath her feet. They disgusted her. 

“We are very sorry to hear about this, [Name],” Rhaenys spoke for the emotional Rhaenyra, “We would never order something like this, we want to avoid fighting as much as we can. We tried reaching out to your mother-” 

[Name] rubbed his chin and pulled his sword out, it didn’t ignite into flames, but it unnerved the three members of the Targaryen family. Their dragons, mainly Syrax and Meleys, roared at the action. In turn Balerion puffed out his chest and let out a louder roar than those two dragons combined. 

The sand hit his back and [Name] took a knee, surrendering his valyrian sword over to Rhaenyra. With his head bowed, [Name] spoke, “I don’t care what happens to my brother or mother. I only care about my remaining family. As a father it’s my responsibility to choose them. So here I am, pledging myself and my dragon to your cause. If you’ll have us, Queen Rhaenyra, I will put an end to the Hightower-Targaryens. I will answer your call and go to battle with Balerion. You do  not have a need for an army anymore when you have us.” 

The three Targaryens looked at each other very shocked to see a Green kneel before them. Pledging his support to Rhaenyra, she couldn’t believe the rider of the Black Dread was doing this. The Blacks have always been afraid of the green monstrosity Aemond rode even more so of Balerion. 

Yet the rider, [Name] Targaryen, had different views in this war. 

“I accept you and your family, brother.” Rhaenyra walked up to [Name], her dress fluttering in the light breeze. She could hear the small protest Jace let out of his mouth, but Rhaenyra knew [Name]. 

He was the only brother she didn’t feel threatened by. He always stated that he was happy father named her his heir, saying that he never wanted the crown and its burdens. Plus she saw the love for Helaena in his lilac eyes. He would never bring her harm. 

Rhaenyra kneeled down and picked up his head with her hands. The tears running down his face cemented the fact that [Name] needed her to accept him and his family. His hands dropped his sword and he hugged Rhaenyra tightly, holding onto her like a son does to his mother when looking for comfort. 

“She didn’t apologize to us,” [Name] growled out, “She had my son killed and she defended Cole instead of admitting to her faults.” 

Rhaenyra accepted his hug and said, “I don’t know why she did that.” His words carried in her stomach heavily, he truly did blame the death of Rhaegar on Alicent. It almost felt like he hated his mother. Rhaenyra pulled away from him and wiped his tears away with a frown on her face. 

“You would fight for me? Kill your brothers if the situation calls for it?” 

[Name]’s eyes hardened and he didn’t falter in saying, “I pledged my help Rhaenyra, I will answer any call and support the Blacks in the battles to come. I will support you.” 

Rhaenyra’s frown curved upward into a gracious smile, “Let’s get you and your family settled in some rooms. You can send Balerion and Dreamfyre to hunt after we land in Dragonstone. Then we can talk about your place in the council.”

“My place in the council?” [Name] asked and picked up his sword from the sand and followed after her to stand proudly. He sheathed Hellfire back into its holster and watched Rhaenyra. 

His sister nodded her head and said, “There’s a lot of old men on my council. They say they support me, but disagree with me on almost everything. They want to spill blood, but we don’t have capable dragons to do so.” 

[Name] agreed with her words, “Yes, that is true. Father always said your dragon was more of a spoiled mother than a warrior. Meaning no offense to you or Syrax.” He chuckled seeing the expression on Rhaenyra’s face. 

“Yes, well the ones capable of fighting are Meleys and Caraxes, but we need them for Vhagar or even Balerion.” She looked over at the Black Dread and his red eyes pierced her bright ones. “Now that you’re here, we could do a lot of defending our supporters and their homes. I will pair you with Rhaenys, you two could pose to be a formidable duo. One with speed and the other power.”

“Well we do pose a huge threat to Aegon’s claim to the throne, sister,” [Name] looked back at his wife and remembered something important. 

“But I will not allow Helaena to fly Dreamfyre. Both of them will remain in Dragonstone, safe from any battle.”

Rhaenyra understood his demand, but she had to know why. “Any particular reason why she cannot fly her dragon to battle?” 

“Have you ever seen Helaena hurt a creature, crawling or walking?” [Name] shot back feeling defensive for his wife. 

“Well no, I heard she likes to keep bugs and take care of them.” Rhaenyra responded with a small laugh. 

[Name] smiled back, “That she does, sadly we had to leave the ones she had in King’s Landing behind. My point is she cannot give the command to burn people, sister. Please don’t make her do it.” He begged. 

“Of course not,” Rhaenyra reassured him, “She will remain here with your children.”

“There’s something else I would like to ask of you,” [Name] stopped Rhaenyra and looked back at Balerion. “I don’t know if you noticed, but Rhaegar…he’s with us too. We would like him to be honored here at Dragonstone in Targaryen tradition.” 

“We shall set it all up for you, will Balerion be the one to ignite the pyre?” 

“No,” He stretched his hand out and Daenerys immediately ran over to her father. As his little one ran towards him, Rhaenyra spotted the two dragons; one perched on her shoulder and the other clinging to her hip. “Daenerys has bonded to two dragons, Moonlight and Nightmare; Rhaegar’s dragon. She will command them and we shall see if Nightmare truly bonded with her or just smells Rhaegar on her.” 

“An interesting child, you have,” Rhaenyra commented lightly. 

And [Name] would have it no other way. 

……

The Targaryen family stood behind the Hightower family respectfully watching Balerion with weary eyes along with their council members and guards. If [Name] wanted to he could turn his attention on them and have his beast burn them in black fire. 

But Rhaenyra reminded them of his oath to support her. After all, [Name] came to Dragonstone to honor his son and protect his remaining family. 

Daenerys stood at the side of the pyre holding back her tears. She watched Rhaegar being tackled by the ratcatcher, heard his last words then the clang of his dagger when it fell from his hand. She was going to miss his stupid jokes and his protective nature. She held her hands out, Moonlight perched into her right hand and Nightmare on her left hand. 

They looked at her as if they waited for her command. “Brother,” Dany spoke quietly, no one could hear her over the crashing waves below the cliff, “In our next life, I hope we live long enough to rule the skies together.” 

A moment passed then she gave out the infamous command, “Dracarys.” The two dragons looked away from her and aimed their snouts at the pyre. Slowly they opened up their mouths and breathed out a stream of orange fire. The twigs caught on fire first before the chain reaction began. 

The funeral rite went slow and [Name] walked up to Daenerys, letting go of Helaena’s hand. He pulled his daughter away from the small fire, so he could finish it off with Balerion’s black fire. He gave a subtle nod to everyone surrounding Rhaegar’s body and immediately they all backed up. 

“My love,” He spoke to Helaena and handed Daenerys’ hand over to hers. Helaena hugged a crying Dany who could no longer hold her tears. Then he walked a bit forward away from his mourning family, holding the pommel of his sword tightly.

“Balerion!” He shouted over the waves.

The black dragon shook his whole body responding to his rider’s call. The ground beneath his clawed talons broke under the pressure of his weight. 

“Dracarys!”

Balerion puffed out his chest, his wings spread out and his neck peered over the pyre in a grim image to the rest of the people. His large mouth opened up and all they saw was a dark pit, the fire blending in the dark of his mouth. With a resounding screech, Balerion breathed his black fire onto Rhaegar’s body. 

[Name] watched on in silence, hearing his wife and daughter cry out in anguish. They couldn’t express their sorrow the night of. But here, they let the water flow out of their eyes like a river. The crackling of the fire, the waves below and their cries felt unreal to him as he lost himself in his thoughts.

If he ever sees Criston Cole on the battlefield, he’ll snatch him from the ground. He’ll bring the oathbreaker into the skies, above the clouds and let him fall to his death. He wanted to instill fear into Cole. He wanted to burn Cole, he wanted to behead him. There were so many ways to kill a man. 

The black smoke reached the skies and he turned away from the pyre. He outstretched his arms and embraced his girls. Daenerys clung to his leg while Helaena wrapped her arms around his neck. 

Aegon may have gotten to the ratcatcher first, but Cole was his. This he will make sure of.

[paceprompting]

the stars on the ceiling

little content warning for mentions of abuse (through a child's perspective), but definitely has a happy ending with soft uncle wayne goodness

He missed the stars.

His house with his ma and dad hadn’t been much—one bedroom for his parents and a cot in the living room where Eddie kept his clothes and his library books. The entire space except the kitchen was covered in beige carpet where Eddie drew temporary pictures with his fingers.

But every night before bed, his ma would bundle him up and take them both into the backyard to look at the night sky. Away from his dad’s growing beer bottles and football games he kept losing money on.

Even in winter, she’d grabbed the special thick comforter from the back of the closet and the blanket Eddie’s grandmother had knit for him before he was born and before she died. She’s wrap them up tight together to sit and count each twinkling star as they emerged into the night sky.

The only nights they didn’t look at the stars was when his dad got to shouting at them first. Through red-rimmed eyes and slurred words, he held Eddie’s ma by her pretty curls so she wouldn’t get away and shouted.

Shouted that Eddie looked too much like his ma, with curls and ugly brown eyes. Might as well not have been his, looking like that. Yelled at her for being with other men even though she never left the house, and then grabbed Eddie by the back of his shirt. Shouted that he was too skinny for seven years old; a nothing that sat around reading fantasy bullshit like a fag.

Sometimes he shoved them both into the wall and then went back to his football games. Other times he took his ma to their room, and Eddie burrowed under his blankets until morning.

The last night they’d sat together, she’d made a pot of hot chocolate to share.

Her dark curls had tickled his nose while she held him to her chest. He’d thought she had been holding him particularly tight that night. But it was cold, and together they were warm, so he didn’t say a word.

The next day at school, a lady with blonde hair in a gray pinstripe jacket and skirt came to talk to him. Apparently his ma had called the lady’s job, and that meant she had to ask him some questions.

And he didn’t know any different, so he told about the shouting. About the bruises on his arms and back. The ones on his ma’s ribs and her legs—the ones he only saw in glimpses when she darted past in her towel after a shower.

He didn’t know it would mean he never got to go home.

A bag with his clothes and his books were waiting for him in the lady’s car, as well as a note from his ma that he didn’t read. (Not for nearly a decade.)

He stayed in a foster home for a week until they got ahold of Uncle Wayne.

Eddie hadn’t seen his uncle for a few years. Not after he and his dad shouted worse than Eddie had ever heard his dad shout at Thanksgiving dinner. So much that he covered his ears to muffle it all out, so he didn’t know why Uncle Wayne hadn’t been invited back to his brother’s house.

They’d never gone to visit Forest Hills, and Eddie had no idea why his uncle lived in a trailer. He’d hoped it was some kind of mistake, when the blonde lady had parked in front and led him to the front door, backpack in hand.

But it was his uncle who opened the door.

Uncle Wayne said it wasn’t safe for him to be outside at night.

“Ma and I look at the stars,” he told Uncle Wayne, clutching his grandmother’s blanket close to his chest. No one had told him where his ma had gone, but he knew she wouldn’t abandon the stars, even if he wasn’t with her.

He had his own bedroom living with Wayne, but he didn’t have nearly enough things to justify it. He still hadn’t slept in the bed, instead curling up on the couch with his backpack.

“Ed,” Wayne started, grunting as he knelt down to Eddie’s height. “I’m sorry kid, but it’s too cold. There’s wild animals out there, and a few neighbors who ain’t too friendly.”

 Eddie didn’t think his uncle looked much like his dad. Maybe he was like Eddie, and looked more like another grandmother Eddie had never met.

No one else called him ‘Ed,’ either. He still wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

Eddie pouted, rubbing at the tears in his eyes because he wasn’t supposed to cry.

“I can be really quick,” he promised.

It was already late. The stars were bound to be out. Eddie could find the Cassiopeia stars for his mom and say goodnight.

“I’m sorry, kid.”

That was it.

Eddie wouldn’t get to say his goodnight.

The burning tears fell freely down his cheeks, and Eddie shoved his blanket at Wayne hard enough to tip him over onto his butt. He couldn’t hide anywhere in the living room, but his new room had a door.

So, for the first night ever, Eddie stormed into his own bedroom and slammed the door behind him.

Eddie didn’t say a word to his uncle for two days, hiding out in his room between meals.

His ma wouldn’t have stood for it. But his ma wasn’t there.

“Ed?” Wayne knocked on his door and when he got no answer, he opened it enough to peer inside. He did that at least once every couple hours, and Eddie pretended to be asleep.

This time, he looked his uncle straight in the eyes, legs tucked up against him and arms wrapped around his knees.

Wayne slipped into the room, the light from the living room spilling in behind him. He had a plastic-wrapped book from the library and a crinkly package in his hands.

“Got something for you,” he said and sat slowly beside Eddie on the bed, the mattress dipping under his weight.

Eddie was silent, but Wayne nontheless laid the book on the mattress. The cover had the night sky across it, and the title “Stars and Constellations for Beginners.” Next, Wayne placed a jumbo pack of stick-on glow-in-the-dark stars.

“How about we put the stars inside for now?” he asked.

Eddie sniffled, reaching for the plastic stars. He held them in both hands, looking them over. Big, little, and in between, all a near-opaque neon green. The label said there were three hundred individual stars.

“All of them?” he asked in a quiet voice.

Wayne nodded. “Every one.”

A stray tear fell off of Eddie’s face and landed on the plastic packaging. He smeared it with his thumb, and then wiped it away with the hem of his last clean shirt from home.

He handed the stars to his uncle to open, and slid the hefty constellations book onto his lap. Wayne tipped the stars out onto the mattress while Eddie scanned the table of contents with his finger.

The constellation he wanted was right near the front.

He flipped to the correct page and traced from star to star across the two-page spread a few times. Enough to make up for the night’s he’d missed.

Eddie held the book out to Wayne.

“Can you do that one?”

His uncle twisted his shoulders and tilted his head to see properly. Eddie didn’t think Wayne really knew what he was looking at, but he hadn’t yanked the book out of his hands and chucked it across the room like his dad would have. He didn’t leave Eddie to figure out how to reach the ceiling on his own, as if he would have ever bought the stars in the first place.

Wayne gently cupped the side of Eddie’s head and pressed a kiss to his temple, over the curls just like his ma’s.

“Sure thing, Ed.”

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

for the ask post, I wish you'd write a fic for a part 2 for no longer yours to keep. I think it would be sweet if they did poly but maybe it takes Garrick a bit to warm up for the fact but still sees that Xaden cares for reader also

The second part to this piece

Warning: blood, nudity

You wouldn’t go back to the first month of rage ever. You wished it never happened in the first place. But then maybe it was inevitable. So many things were changing and as strong as both of them were, bonding a dragon had taken a toll on them too. You had managed to hide it for a couple of weeks. Fighting the urge to find comfort in Xaden. You had chosen to ignore him but that had only caused you more physical pain.

“What’s wrong?”, Garrick had pulled you aside after you practically got choked on the training mat because you were too sloppy. “It’s nothing”, you muttered as you had for days. By now looking in his eyes had gotten too much. “Quit that, love. We don’t hide shit from each other”, his tone was harsher, slicing bits of your heart off as guilt slammed into you.

You raised your teary eyes at him. Garrick’s face softened instantly, “What is it? What’s hurting?”, his hands gently reached for you as he looked you over. “Promise me you will not act on it”, you muttered. But there it was. That stoney, killer like wall, “Then don’t give me a reason to kill someone”, he said through gritted teeth, “Spill it out”.

“I bonded a mated dragon”, you whispered. Garrick simply looked at you with a shrug, “And?”. You swallowed thickly. Knowing that this might as well be the last time he’s looking at you. “Mated to Xaden’s dragon”, you muttered, “Meaning that we are also…”, “No”, Garrick hissed, “Bullshit”. You closed your eyes, trying to keep yourself calm. “It wasn’t my choice, I only felt it when I saw him after”, you heard Garrick inhaling sharply.

“That was two weeks ago”, it was a cold, calculated kind of answer, “You knew for two weeks and didn’t think of telling me?”. He hissed stepping closer to you. Towering over you. “I didn’t want to lose you”, you hiccuped. “Fuck that, have you been sneaking around too?”, his hand found your neck, making you look up at him. Even against his grip you managed to shake your head. “I couldn’t, I told him that I would not let him interfere”, you cried out, trying to reach out for him, but Garrick batted your hands off.

“You fucking…”, he called out right as the back room yanked open and the room went pitch black. “Careful how you speak to her”, a voice hissed. A voice so familiar. As if from the depths of your soul. And suddenly you were slumped against the wall. Glimpsing up to find Xaden pinning Garrick against the wall. “You selfish fuck, why do you always insert yourself in situations where you’re not needed”, Garrick hissed, shoving Xaden off. Both males growled, reaching for their daggers.

You jumped to your feet quickly. Pushing between them right as they lunged forward at one another. Both of their daggers nicking your arms, drawing blood. They both stilled at the same time. Metal clanked to the floor as they reached for it. Both assess the damage. “Look what you did”, Garrick hissed. “If you weren’t a selfish bastard”, Xaden bit back. You grasp both of their hands in yours, silently pleading with them for a heartbeat, before muttering a broken, “Please”.

The memory is still painful enough to jolt you up from your sleep. But as much as you want to move and get up, you can feel the weight of arms pressing down on you. Bringing ease and comfort into your bones. Chasing the anxiety away. “You should be sleeping”, a low voice muffles from the left side of you. Sending warmth soaring through your body. “So should you”, you mutter, suddenly not trusting your voice. “Garrick is snoring”, Xaden huffed, and even in the dark you could make out his sharp features. The strength that he possessed lay down for you to see. “Oh you poor baby”, you chirped at him, brushing your palm over his chest. Xaden wasted no time pulling you closer to him, “I would tickle the hell out of you if he was awake”, both of your eyes trailed towards the male sleeping on the right side of the bed. While they had grasped the hang of loving you loudly. Whatever kindled between them was mellow for a passing glance. But they made up with gestures of care.

“You’re thinking about us”, Xaden stated after a moment of silence. “How do you… Never mind”, you shook your head, reaching to pull the blanket over Garrick’s shoulders higher. Xaden’s fingers ran up and down your bare back. “You two are doing okay?”, his voice was much more gentle this time. After the loss of temper and the idea of an open relationship between you three was on the table you and Xaden had practically clawed at each other at any moment you two had. Your dragons had happily joined the frenzy. That had made Garrick pull back. You doubted that it was his ego that had been bruised considering the nights you two had shared. It was more the act of letting go fully that had frightened him. You two had been each other’s strength for years.

“We’re okay. Went on a date yesterday. It was nice”, you smiled slightly thinking back to the evening you two shared. “Reminded me of the old times and it was…”, you stopped yourself from regretting the words that were seconds away from slipping through your lips. “Just you two. I get it”, the gentle brush of his fingers stilled as he focused on the ceiling.

You shifted slightly, moving beneath the sheets to drape your leg over his hips as you moved to straddle him. You were able to open your mouth but Xaden beat you to it. “Do you think you both will forgive me for my poor choice of when I was younger and left you by?”, the old wounds cracking open. You sighed, leaning in to press a couple of loving kisses across his chest, “Have you forgiven yourself?”, and somehow your words had hit Xaden harder than a no could have ever hit. “Not to mention that you had time to come clean after”, Garrick’s groggy voice sounded through the room. “Ger…”, you breathed out, not wanting this night to turn into yet another fight. “He’s right I should have made it up to you both”, Xaden admitted.

“Make it up to me with kisses now”, you leaned it brushing your nose against his. And while Xaden let out a low chuckle, Garrick only grunted, “You’re letting him off the hook too easily”. You pulled back, exposing your bare body to the two males. Not that they haven’t seen every inch of you already. “Can I win you both over like this”, you smirked, biting your lip. Garrick reached for your hand pulling you towards him, “You’re playing dirty, vixen”, he mused as his lips brushed against yours. You felt Xaden’s palms tightening over your hips, “She sat on me first”, he mussed pulling you away from Garrick, seating your right back against his hips. “Suddenly, I’m not in the mood to share”, Garrick growled at Xaden, who only smirked, “Suddenly, I’m in the mood for a challenge”.

[sjyzip]

ᯓ ✈︎ paradise found .ᐟ ˎˊ˗

⤷ 18. okay kat stratford!📍

wc: 1.8k

after a good week, all you seemed to need to place the cherry on top was a nice night out with your friends and what better timing cause yeonjun was hosting a party. things had gotten even better cause not only you and your friends were going, but also jake was going too. you got ready for the night out, feeling extremely good cause both your hair and makeup had come out perfect, giving you a huge confidence boost. once you were ready, you left your apartment to go meet with your friends and get to yeonjun’s house.

the music was bustling and could be heard from far away, yeonjun’s house was packed with people and the smell of alcohol and smoke. you and your friends entered the house, getting through the crowd, waving and saying hi to people you knew.

once you were out of the extremely crowded area you scanned the room, unconsciously looking for someone special, like jake. you didn’t realize it but your friends surely did. “you know.. i saw sunghoon and riki close to the entrance” giselle said, stirring her drink. “maybe jake is with them now” giselle continued, sipping her drink afterwards. “really? i was about to go there” you said, trying to play it casual. “mhm, it’s okay, we know you wanted to see him” yunjin said with a smile, patting your shoulder. you rolled your eyes as you took your drink “i’ll go walk around, maybe i’ll casually get to see him that way” you said with a smile. “call us if you need anything!” yunjin shouted so you could hear her clearly through the noise. you turned around and nodded your head “i will!” you shouted back before you turned around again, entering the crowd.

you walked around the house once again, scanning every single inch of it to at least catch a glimpse of jake while finishing your drink. minutes that felt like eternity and yet you hadn’t caught either jake or at least his friends. you decided to take a small break, getting another drink and sitting on a random couch, people-watching as you drank until someone tapped your shoulder, you reacted slower than usually, the alcohol from the drink already kicking in.

“yn?” a voice asked, a voice you could recognize everywhere, it was jake’s voice. “oh hey! didn’t expect to see you here” jake said with a smile on his face. “oh hey, how are you?” you asked him, taking a few sips from your drink. “i’m good, i just got here” he replied, observing you and the drink in your hand. “oh that’s why i didn’t see you before!” you giggled. “you know, i was looking for you earlier” you continued, giggling once again. jake stared at you, confused. “why were you looking for me?” jake asked, sitting down next to you. “because i wanted to see you” you replied, smiling from ear to ear. “ohh, cool” jake replied, with a shy smile. “are you here alone?” jake asked once again. “uh no, i’m here with my friends but i left earlier to go look for you.” you said without thinking, sipping your drink. “i really wanted to see you tonight” you continued. “i like to hangout with you and also when you called me ynnie” you giggled. “yeah i also like to hangout with you” jake smiled, getting flustered more by each second. “hey, can i ask you something?” you asked him. “oh yeah sure” jake nodded his head, rubbing the back of his neck. “what would you do if when you say okay so he said yes would go?” you bursted laughing even before finishing the sentence. “i think you should stop drinking.” jake said, reaching out to take your drink. “no, i’m okay” you shook your head, crossing your arms so jake couldn’t reach your drink. “come on, your face is flushed and you’re saying weird things” jake whined, still trying to reach out for your drink. “weird things like what?” you chuckled. “i don’t know, like wanting to see me” jake replied, almost whispering the last part. “but i said that because i like hanging out with you!” you giggled. “just hand me over the drink.” jake insisted. “alright..” you nodded your head, about to finish the rest of your drink before handing it over but jake took it and drank what was left.

you stared at him in disbelief for a few seconds before reacting “i was going to drink that?” you complained. “i know, but if you drank that, you would keep saying weird things” jake stated, grinning while observing the empty cup. “whatever you say.. anyways when you said that my face was flushed, your face was also flushed, so you should stop drinking too” you innocently said, patting his shoulder. “i should, huh? alright i will” jake smiled.

“i guess yn did find jake after all” yunjin chuckled. “i hope something happened between those two or ill force it” sunoo rolled his eyes. “ill text to check on her” giselle said, going through her phone.

hey, are u with jake?

yupyupyuppp iim hre with jakeyyy

don’t drink more, ill go there in a while x

dontt need tooo, jskey is taking me to my apt!! apt apt apt apt hahahahhaha

wait i’ll call you

“hello..?” giselle spoke into the phone. “heeey!!” you replied “yn, could you pass me the phone to jake?” giselle asked. “alright, hereee” you gave the phone to jake. “giselle wants to talk to youu” you told jake. jake nodded and took the phone to his ear. “giselle? yn’s with me” jake said. “are you taking her to her apartment?” giselle asked. “yeah, uhm by the way, what is the apartment number? yn isn’t cooperating much” jake chuckled. “it’s ynnie!! not yn” you complained loudly that even giselle could hear it. “it’s 615 and under the doormat there is a backup key” giselle told jake. “alright thanks, just to reassure you, she’s fine just a bit.. tipsy” jake smiled, glancing at you. giselle smiled too “okay, thanks for taking care of her” giselle thanked. “yeah, no problem” jake nodded. “wait jakey pass me the phone, pleaseeeee” you begged. “here” jake handed you your phone. “hey gigi, i’m okaaaay, jakey is doing a gooood job so don’t worry. okay bye gigi love youuuu, mwah mwah” you reassured her. “bye ynnie, love you too” giselle smiled before ending the call.

“are you holding up okay?” jake checked on you. “yeah i’m alright, i could run the whole way back, wanna race???” you giggled, about to start running. “no cause you could get hurt and i don’t want that” jake said “fine.. but if you don’t want me to get hurt, could you piggyback me pleaseeeee?” you begged. jake stared at you for a few seconds before agreeing “hop on” jake slightly leaned down so you could get up. you got on his back, wrapping your arms around his neck. “this is sooooo fuuun!!!!” you laughed. “fun for you, you’re so heavy jeez..” jake teased you. “i’m not heavy..” you pouted. “i was joking, good news tho, we’re pretty close to your apartment now” jake said, looking at the building nearby. “awh, this was too short” you whined. “what do you mean? i can go around the block if you still want a piggyback ride” jake suggested. “no, i meant us hanging out, it was too short” you pouted “i like being with you, it’s fun and you understand me” you mumbled, leaning your head on jake’s shoulder. “i guess you aren’t sober yet.. but i also like hanging with you ynnie” jake smiled softly.

a few minutes of walking in silence to your apartment and a quick glance at you made jake realize that you had fallen asleep. the silence made him replay in his mind what you had said throughout the night, how you enjoyed hanging out with him, and he wondered if what you said was entirely platonic or not. now he was in front of your apartment building and focused again on what he had to do, get you to your apartment.

the elevator ride was a quiet one, so quiet it made jake wonder back to those thoughts but was snapped out of it with the ding of the elevator. he got out of the elevator, heading towards your apartment, once he got there he couldn’t get down to get the key so he had to wake you up even if he didn’t want to.

“yn.. ynnie” jake whispered, hoping it would wake you up, it obviously didn’t wake up and jake had no other alternative (in his mind) than to get you off his back, get the key and open the door quickly and pick you up.

and he surprisingly managed to do it. he closed the door with his elbow and started looking around where your bedroom was, once he found it, he quietly opened the door and dropped you in your bed as softly as he could. he sighed as he looked at you in your bed, sleeping peacefully, he smiled softly at the sight of you before turning around and heading to the living room. he sat down in the couch and texted giselle.

hey it’s jake, i just arrived and yn is sleeping, everything is okay.

thanks jake, i really owe you :)

your welcome and don’t worry it’s okay

jake turned his phone off and looked at the half closed door of your room. he stood up and headed towards the bedroom, looking around your desk before finding what he wanted. a sticky note and a marker, he wrote a short message and stuck it on your desk. he checked up on you before leaving to go to the kitchen, jake got you a glass of water and searched for some medicine to leave next to your bed. once he found some he grabbed the glass of water and left the medicine and water next to each other. jake checked on you once again (just in case in his words) and left your apartment.

the walk back to his apartment was weird. not because it was silent; it was because it felt odd without your presence, even if it was an extremely tiring experience to piggyback you for 10 minutes and then worrying about not waking you up. it was something he would do for you anytime; anything you asked him he would try to get it, he would do anything for you no matter what. although jake felt silly for caring for you so much when you were just friends but he just couldn’t help it. maybe that’s when jake realized that he actually needed to make a move on you or he will regret it his whole life.

previous masterlist next

taglist: @domfikeluva, @keylimejake , @starry-eyed-bimbo, @rairaiblog , @tkooooop , @right-person-wrong-time

[starogeorgina]

Killer queen

Warnings: Incest, sexual content

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen × Targaryen OC

1.02

The north was far better than you imagined; the feeling when your feet sank into the snow for the first time made you feel ecstatic; and although not all the Northerners liked the Targaryens, they were fascinated by your dragons, and most were welcoming, although you suspected many acted that way out of fear.

As it was an unpolitical visit, you rode on horses to Winterfell to get a glimpse of the castle you’d heard so much about; it was just as you imagined. The outer wall was at least eighty feet high and surrounded by a large moat. Growing up in the red keep made you appreciate the beauty of the castle complex being covered in snow.

During the days, you and Aemond wore cloaks to visit bars and various other locations on horseback to try and blend in without being spotted while Aelora, your emerald giant, and Vhagar flew freely without disturbance.

The nights were different; Aemond took you whenever and wherever he could with his mouth and fingers. With your back pressed against a tree, he’d ignore the sting of the cold nipping at his knees as he kneeled on the ground in front of you, worshiping you with his mouth. Or toy with you by rubbing his hard on against you in a public place, causing you to become hot and flustered.

Aemond insisted it was impractical to have sex knowing there wasn’t a way for you to get moon tea while staying in the north.

“I don’t think Aelora likes the cold,” you state, watching as the dragon you bonded with curls herself into a ball on top of a small hill. Aelora was known for her gorgeous emerald green scales that glimmered under the sunlight. She didn’t hatch until your fourth name day and was the smallest out of all the Targaryen dragons, but she was fiercely loyal to you; she even hissed at Aegon the one time he accidentally pushed you to the ground while drunk.

“Perhaps she misses the heat of the king's landing.”

Rhaenyra and Daemon's feast should have ended a week prior; you hoped they would have returned to Dragonstone by the time you returned. “Maybe we should wait a couple more days before leaving.”

“Two more days, then where are we going?”

You feel yourself melt under Aemond’s gaze; the looks he gives you are always so full of love and admiration, even when he’s in a bad mood. You rest your head against his chest and say, “We can go wherever you want. It's up to you if we fly back to King's Landing or follow your heart’s desire to Dorne.”

Aemond didn’t answer. He kissed the crown of your head, keeping his attention on the two sleeping dragons in front of him.

—

Sitting in a chair by the fireplace Aemond watches as a pretty bastard called Iris Snow kisses your collarbone while straddling you. The idea of another man even looking at you with lust in his eyes was enough to drive Aemond into a jealous rage, but a woman... When you first said you were attractive to other females, he was happy for you to experiment, as long as he got to watch and occasionally join in.

When you first laid eyes on Iris two days prior, Aemond saw the devilish glint in your eyes and knew what you wanted. The brunette made it obvious that she was intrigued by you both, but only you got to play with her.

One of Almond's favorite sights was your legs spread wide open, giving him or whatever maiden you chose for the night access to your most sensitive area. Goosebumps spread across your body as the front of your low-cut dress is pulled down. Immediately, Iris attaches her lips to your breasts, sucking on them. You make eye contact with Aemond and say, “Not getting enough attention, my love?”

He doesn't take the bait and says nothing.

You let out a small moan as her teeth nipped at your skin. You look over again, expecting to see Aemond’s lilac eye clouded with lust, but it wasn’t; his whole demeanor was overshadowed by a stillness. You pull back and kiss Iris one last time, then whisper that you are sorry but she needs to leave. She looks disappointed but goes without argument.

When she’s out of the room, you walk over to Aemond and sit on his lap, your head resting against his chest. “What is wrong ñuha jorrāelagon?”

He doesn’t answer. You feel his arm tighten around your waist, his breath tickling the back of your neck, and his hand resting on your thigh. Something was gnawing at him; it had been since before you left home. That was two weeks ago. Every time you asked him previously, he just said he was distracted, but you weren’t going to let it go this time.

“Aemond,” you cup his chin, forcing him to look at you. “You’ve been dis-” You cut yourself off, scared you’d sound desperate and pathetic, but the truth was you were. Aemond has always clung to you; he’s never withheld a part of himself. The thought of losing him terrified you, “whatever it is, just tell me.”

He kisses the back of your hand and says, “My love, I’ve been holding back because I didn’t want to ruin your fun. Before we left, Mother informed me that my grandsire had started to look at possible suitors for your hand in marriage.”

You don't dare move. That knotting in your gut reminds you of the feeling you had when it was announced Aegon was to be wed to one of his sisters, and for a split second you thought it was you and not Helaena, and the feeling of your world crashing around you reappeared. Finally, you find your voice again. “I will have no other.”

“It is known in the realm that any man who asks for your hand in marriage will face the wrath of Vhagar,” Aemond kisses your cheek. “Although we should expect a battle when we return, convincing our mother we should be married won’t be easy.”

“We don’t need their permission,” you spin around on his lap so you're now facing him, your lips ghosting his. “We should just get married, here in the snow.”

He gives you a warning look and says, “Ashara.”

You lean into Aemond, capturing his lips with your own. “Nobody would ever come between us. No suitors. No men courting me. No women staring at you. I will be able to stop drinking that horrid tea and swell with your seed.”

A look you’d never seen before flashes across Aemond’s face; he looked like a wild animal about to pounce on its prey. He grabs you, but the hips pull you in closer, “Tomorrow night, we will become husband and wife.”

Grinning, you wrap your arms around his neck. “In that case, I want you to fuck me like a whore one last time before making me yours forever.”

—

“Can I ask you something?”

Aemond raised his brows, sighing. He wasn’t one for talking after making love, but he nodded regardless, “Anything, my love.”

Caressing his face, you gently brush hair out of his face, your thumb gently stroking over his scar. “When did you know I was yours?”

“You’ve been mine for as long as I can remember.”

You lick at your dry lips staring up at the ceiling, “the night you lost your eye….I knew I’d never leave you again. I've always regretted leaving you to drink with Aegon, things could have turned out so different if I’d stayed by your side.”

“I would never have approached Vhagar with you by my side.”

“You never would have lost an eye.”

Aemond sat up right, looking at you with a stern look on his face. “I told mother it was a fair trade because I may have lost an eye, but I gained a dragon but that’s not all I gained that night. Watching you cling to Helaena, crying, with a murderous glare in your eyes, I finally realized I was yours just as much as you were mine, even if I was too young to know what that meant.”

“Avy jorrāelan.”

“I love you too, my sweet Ashara.”

Avy jorrāelan - I love you

ñuha jorrāelagon - my dear

[ratelysium]

“I love watching you when you’re half asleep”, she said as she saw the guy she had fell for in the last few weeks, a stranger to her the first few days he arrived to the city. They were on the top of an building, the air hitting her head as she looked down to the boy laying on her lap, he had brown messy hair, which she was softly caressing, the days she knew him were fun, maybe a bit too much fun. They went from arcade to arcade, from restaurant to restaurant, he shared the music he liked, and it was after one of those adventures, in a setting very similar to the one that day when they shared their first kiss, on the night he would take her to slow walks, slowly she started trusting him with her stories and her feelings, in exchange he told her adventures, some of which she never believed, but he narrated them with such excitement it was imposible to not be compelled to indulge him, sometimes she would even laugh, as he acted like a small kid, then he would stop, blush and give her a kiss. After that he usually would take her dancing, sometimes it would be in the middle of a lonely street, to any music playing on the phone, other times it would be to clubs, or concerts, louder places that he seemed to enjoy, it was as if the loud sounds comforted him, as if he wanted to forget everything but that.

“Im not” said the guy as he pulled himself up next to her, his brown eyes looking at the distance, as if there was something only he saw. “Hey, is everything okey?” She asked worried “Did something happened?”. He gave her a quick glance, then his eyes drifted, as if there was guilt, some sort of damage he made to her. “No… no im good, lets ditch this place”. A worry flashed in the girl eyes, this was not the first time he acted like this, and every time he wanted to go, as if he needed the distraction. “You know you can trust me, i know there is something wrong, please tell me” When she said this his expression went somber “It truly is nothing, i just… you know, feel tired” in a swift movement she grabbed his head and put it on front of him, they were seeing each other, eye to eye, yet his eyes were trying to scape, as if something trapped them. “I really like you, and I really trust you, but I need you to do the same for me” As the sunset fell, his eyes then were filled with disappointment, not in her but in himself; but also with something deeper, guilt.

“Please, dont, dont fall in love with me”.

Her eyes filled with tears, confusion and growing resentment “What do you mean dont fall inlove with me?, then why? Why all of this?” His eyes met with fear, like trying to scape “Because I dont wanna ruin this, i dont wanna hurt you” She didnt want to believe it, she didnt really understood. “I really like you, but i dont know how to love” He said, a glimpse of hope passed trough her eyes. “Then let me show you, I know you’re afraid, i am too, it is normal” He looks then at the floor, “No, I can’t love you” She asked then “Why, what’s stopping you, if you leave then ill talk to you every day, i dont care about that” She was desperately searching for his eyes “No, i- its just”. She was desperate, He was afraid “What, please tell me, i trusted you please trust me”. He went silent.

“Please”

He looks at the other side, tears leaving his eyes. She got up, and went to the door, she gave her one last look, tears falling down her eyes too, “You know? For a moment, i really thought you were the One” She opened the door and left, the boy was left there, crying, while the girl, too, criad her eyes out, as a series of Polaroids of both of them observed her from her bedroom wall.

*hey this is my first post here so… yeh. Constructive criticism is very appreciated :D*

[lfghughes]

Heaven Can’t Help Me Now | Both

a/n: this one is definitely just a small little filler just to kind of lead up to the last part. Kinda excited about the next part I’m going to post so pls dont hate me for this. Also please dont hate me for how this is all going to end

Morning rolled around and you felt worse than you did the night before. You had really messed up your friendship with Jamie and the look of hurt that had been on his face last night haunted you. Your hand found your phone and called the one other person you knew you could talk to. But a frown filled your lips when Trevor didn’t pick up the phone. He must have still been asleep so instead you found yourself scrolling on social media.

It felt like a punch to your stomach when videos from last night popped up for you. Trevor with another girl and you knew this video was recent and not just an old video that resurfaced. Guess you were right about assuming that it had meant nothing to him. You felt bad about hurting Jamie and on top of it you were angry at yourself for also believing that maybe just maybe Trevor had feelings for you.

*3 weeks later*

The past few weeks had been a blur, your life was pretty normal except well you barely saw Jamie except up until this week when he had reached out about having lunch together. It was nice but you could definitely still feel the awkwardness there between the two of you. “So Trevor came back last night. We’re going out to that bar we like, if you want to come. It’s cool if you don’t want to.” 

The invite sat there between you for a minute before you nodded your head. “Yeah, I’ll go out for a bit.” But the minute the words came out you weren’t sure if it was even a good idea. You weren’t sure how you would feel being out with Trevor since the last time you had seen him. You also weren’t sure how Jamie felt about any of it and you didn’t want to upset him any further.

Yet you still managed to pull yourself together and go out with them. It maybe took a total of thirty minutes before you regretted being out. It was a casual hang out but Trevor was over the top. For starters you had barely talked to each other which wasn’t normal for the two of you. Then he had also been around some other girls. It had all become too much the minute you had looked over and noticed him kissing one of them.

“Hey Jamie, I think I’m going to turn in for the night. I have work early in the morning.” You told him and he gave you a small sad smile, almost like he knew the reason you were wanting to head out. “Text me when you get home safe.” You headed out of the bar, hating everything. Hating how nice Jamie was even when you didn’t deserve it. Hating Trevor for giving you a glimpse of something that would never happen. Mad at yourself for being here in this situation.

“Why are you throwing a fit?” The voice rang behind you and when you turned around Trevor was standing there. “I’m not throwing a fit.” You pointed out to him, why had he even bothered following you out here. “Kind of looked like it with the way you left. Didn’t even say goodbye.” He pointed out and you just rolled your eyes. “You looked busy.”

“Is that what this is about? Because I was with someone else?” A small laugh left his lips and it only angered you more. “We agreed on the trip that it was just friends having fun. I don’t do relationships, I thought I made it clear. But that’s my bad.” Now you hated him even more. This didn’t even seem like the same Trevor that you had known this whole time. Instead of giving him a response, you turned around and got into your car, leaving him behind. 

Trevor

Saying those words were probably the hardest thing that Trevor had to say. He didn’t mean a single word he said but he knew it was the only way to make her hate him. Maybe then she would realize that Jamie was the one for her and not him. A few raindrops started coming down from the sky and Trevor made his way back into the bar. Making his way over to Jamie who was giving him a disapproving look. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Trevor asked as he took a seat. “I think we need to have a serious talk.”

[everyonewooeverywhere]

I saw drabbles were open and I am here to be a menace to society~

Typical evening in the WooJoongJong (idk sis if u got a better name I'm all ears 😭) dorm? Maybe them arguing over dinner and gn!9th member MC platonically getting in on the chaos?

I just love those three platonically sm, genuinely wanna be besties they seem like a riot

ok ok i had a lot of fun writing this 😭 do i know what the fuck is going on?? no, but at least it was enjoyable

thank you for the ask, love 💗💗 this was a blast to write

✭✭✭✭

If you were being honest, quiet was a rare occurrence in the dorms. With the sheer number of people, it was almost impossible that you would find a moment of complete silence in your day in the dorms. 

Tonight, though, it seemed like that might happen. You and Jongho slurped away at the dinner you had so graciously cooked for the two of you (it was payment for him killing the roach you had found in the bathroom only two days prior). No words were exchanged. He silently scrolled on his phone while you skimmed through the book you were trying to read. It was incredibly boring, but somehow you didn’t mind. It was peaceful. 

You were excited to hopefully enjoy a nice and peaceful night. It was the start of a night you could only dream of.

But when Hongjoong burst out of the bedroom, your dreams instantly shattered. Wooyoung trailed behind him. Both looked unsettled. Joong was clearly upset, and Wooyoung looked like he had gotten the first glimpse of that. You could only assume you and the man seated across from you were going to receive the next moments of his rage.

Jongho, clearly unbothered, had yet to look up from his phone. 

“Alright!” Hongjoong started. You waited in anticipation, but Jongho only glanced up at the man, “Who broke the lamp?”

“What lamp?” Jongho inquired. 

Hongjoong scoffed, “What lamp?” he mocked, voice pitched higher than usual. “We only have one fucking lamp. And it’s broken. So…who broke it?”

You and Jongho glanced at each other. Clearly thinking the same thing. You both turned to him, “Wooyoung.”

“Ok fuck you guys,” the aforementioned man piped up from behind Hongjoong, “You both know I didn’t break it. It was that stupid rabbit Y/n brought home last week.”

You gawked at him, “Snitch.”

“Rabbit!?” Hongjoong was clearly thrown off by the presence of the little critter you had acquired.

“Yeah Y/n bought a rabbit, and they’ve been keeping it under your bed,” Jongho finally put his phone down, “I’m honestly surprised you haven’t noticed.” 

You shook your head, so called friends. They had promised they wouldn’t tell, but you, too, honestly were pretty surprised Joong had yet to notice the newly acquired animal. She wasn’t quiet, at all, and she shed profusely. Maybe he had thought the hair was one of your guys’.

“Why the fuck did you get a rabbit? What happened to ‘no pets’?”

Shrugging, you answered him, “She was really cute. I couldn’t help it! And it’s only temporary! My parents are coming to get her next month when they visit Seoul. I honestly didn’t think it would matter since she’s in a cage when you're here.”

“So you were purposely hiding it from me?”

“Her. I was specifically hiding her from you. Because I knew you’d freak out.”

You saw the door behind him open, and behind him emerged Jongho (who you didn’t notice had gotten up from the table). He had the rabbit in his arms. 

He showed her to Hongjoong. “She’s honestly pretty cute.” Jongho said, pushing the rabbit into your friend’s arms.

You, in real time, watched him melt at the sight of the little white bunny. 

“Ok, yeah she is kinda cute.”

You laughed at him.

“But the lamp is still broken.”

You waved a dismissive hand, “We can just buy a new one.”

Joong glared at you, “No, you can by a new one. And I’m keeping the rabbit.”

“What!? No the fuck your not!”

He shrugged and retreated into the bedroom with your daughter in his arms.

[thedragonagelesbian]

28? Prompts, more prompts, forever prompts!

@creaking-skull the people have spoken!! yay thank you!!!

Touching Prompts

28. feeling for each other in the dark

Lace Harding didn't want to sleep. Even on her best nights, there was some reluctance, nostalgia for a time when shutting her eyes at the end of a hard day meant true, utter, peaceful silence. No memories to sift through or bizarre dreams to make meaning of or old griefs stirring up again. Just quiet.

But the last few weeks had been the worst of all. How quickly she had become used to sleeping in Cyrus Hawke's arms, only to blink and lose them.

And if she blinked now, snuggled tight to his chest and listening to the song the iron sang in his blood, would she lose him again?

Except it was precisely the fact that she had him back that made it so damn easy to nod off. Secure in the hollow of his body, and exhausted, besides, after weeks of worrying and then hours and hours of fucking, reaching as deep into him as she could as the most pleasurable proof of his aliveness-- except now she was sore all over and she was so safe here, surely she could afford to close her eyes for just a moment.

Surely he would still be there when she opened them again.

Except she woke up on the other side of the bed, alone. Groggy. Reaching. Touching along the plush bedding of his impossibly large mattress, feeling the warm crease of an absent body. "Cyrus?" Murmuring as her fingers stole away the lingering heat, seeking purchase. "Cyrus?"

Listening for a snore. A breath. A sign of his undeniable presence. Hearing only quiet.

She had to fight herself every inch of the way, limbs and head leaden, but she turned over. And saw only darkness swallowing up the room. "Cy--!"

Her knuckles knocked against his back.

There, a shape in the night, the curve of his spine and hips. He had curled himself up tight, knees drawn to his stomach, the softest parts of him shielded in his restless sleep. Lace watched his twitching silhouette and wondered which bad memories his mind was playing back for him this time, before reaching out again. Tracing the edge of him, then dipping down across his shoulders. She had decided that her favorite freckle of his was the one that kind of looked like a mabari's snout, tucked under his right shoulder blade, but she couldn't see it now. All she could do was feel his skin, a dappled pattern of worn scars she didn't yet know like this. By touch. But if they both lived through this, she'd have plenty of time to learn.

And then she'd never have to worry if she should doubt what her eyes told her they saw.

A spirit couldn't get this right, could it? Looks and voice, maybe, but but not tissue and texture.

Spirit or no, the form across from her gave a little cute noise of complaint and began to stir. "Lace?"

"Shit, sorry!" She drew her hand back. "You're not usually such a light sleeper..."

"Add it to the list of things to blame Solas for," Cyrus suggested, his dryness undercut by a gaping yawn. "Creators... Did you need something?"

"No," Lace said quickly, but Cyrus was already rolling over too. "No, it’s fine, I’m—" A shadow moved with heavy-lidded eyes. It found her shoulder first, then her collarbone, neck, caressing her behind the ear before its fingers finally found her cheek, and by the time they got there, Lace was snickering so hard she couldn't finish her deflection. She shook her head and covered his hand with her own. "You're ridiculous."

"Well you're re--" Lace could just glimpse the shape of his mouth as it shifted into a sleepy smile, impossibly soft like what a cloud felt like in dreams, "dorable."

"That's not a word or an insult."

"I could never insult you, Lace Harding." He stretched his fingers to graze her nose and mouth. "Tell me what's on your mind."

Lace hesitated. Her grip on him tightened until her hand hurt, and still it wasn't enough. Too loose, too easily broken. "I just keep wondering..." she scooted closer, slotting back into Cyrus' waiting arms and wrapping her own around him, locking them together, and still... "I need to hear you say it. That it's really you. That you're really here, because... I'm not sure how else I can ever be sure."

"I..." his body suddenly changed against hers, drawing taut as a bow. "To be perfectly honest with you, my love, I don't... know if I can. Say. That."

"Why not?"

"Well, I don't know if I am... Here. Real. My body could be nothing, sword and shield and pain. This could still be the Fade showing me what I want to see. You could be..." His breath snagged in his throat. Trailing off, he touched the necklace nestled against his collarbone-- Varric's necklace.

"Oh." Lace's heart spasmed. She grabbed his face, thumbs digging in under his eyes, the darkest and warmest things in the room, and she prayed that they were looking at her. "Oh, hey, no, I'm here. I'm real."

"A blood magic ghost would also say that, wouldn't she?"

"If I was a blood magic ghost, I wouldn't bother lying about not being one. I'd skip straight to telling you that you're imagining things. That you have nothing to worry about." Like "Varric" had done, when these same fears now bottled in her chest had nearly split Cyrus' mind in two. "I get it. I'm still scared that if I close my eyes, you're not going to be there when I open them again. But I promise, this is all real."

Unsure of what else she could do to prove it, Lace took his hand and pushed his fingers into her sternum, so he could feel her fluttering pulse.

"See? All flesh and blood. And some bones and guts and muscles, but, you know, all very physical." With her other hand, she felt along his neck for one of the hickeys she had left there. "How else could I have managed to do this?"

"You're very talented as a person, you could be equally talented as a ghost, but... mmm. The bruising is a fair point. Hard to argue with." His fingers slip sideways along the swell of her breast, pads feather-soft and teasing. "If we just keep doing this forever, maybe we never have to worry about whether we're real or not."

"If only." How easy that would be. How tempting, to forget the whole conversation and climb back on top of him and pretend that they could stay there for the rest of their lives. "But if I've learned anything this past year, it's that it's better to know, isn't it? No matter how complicated it makes everything?"

"...Right." Cyrus sighed, sounding ever bit his age with maybe a few more decades thrown on top just to maximize the fatigue, like he'd lived too much in too short a time. Growing pains could be perennials too. Then, he buried himself in the hollow of her throat, and she felt the rumble of his plea as much as she heard it: "...Say it again, please."

"Say what?"

"Your promise."

While he had been gone, Lace had picked out an arrow especially for Solas' forehead, and she thought about it now as she massaged his scalp. Lyrium worked into the tip. A hawk's feathers for the fletching. "I promise, this is all real."

"Including you?"

"Especially me."

"...Then I must be real too," he decided, "because your touch feels more real than anything. Than everything."

[red-dye40]

iunno if you're still doing the directors cut thing but -> 💫

yes! always until the end of time because i love to talk!

here’s some commentary for ancaux chapter 9:

“You can get started on his limbs. I recommend below the joints for first-timers; it won’t be as clean but it’ll be easier, and you can take breaks between the ulna and the radius–” he points, with the tip of the machete, to the forearms, “–and the tibia and fibula–” he points, next, to the calves, “–if it gets too tough.”

i do think that, as an active homicidal maniac, nny had his own stupid names for bones, since i don’t imagine he was ever a serial killer who like studied the human form??? i think he just kinda learned as he went along and never opened a book on anatomy in his life. because the body is disgusting to him. HOWEVER i have this idea that, in this au where he gets help and treatment, he still obviously has his natural curiosity and lust for killin, and so sometimes he’ll like check out a bunch of anatomy and biology books from the library to quell his ~urges~, and maybe a more sterile and clinical approach will make him less inclined to act on anything. nerd.

Without a head, with his limbs all twisted to fit more securely in the fridge, with his bizarrely expensive but otherwise unimpressive clothes soaked in dried blood, he doesn’t look much like a person anymore. He looks kind of pathetic, definitely more than a little silly.

i spent my late teens / early 20s exclusively around art students because my sister was a fine arts major and i didn’t go to college so i had no friends otherwise :) her like closest friends were this group of extremely rich kids posing as poor kids and it was so bizarre to experience. they only dressed in ratty clothes but upon further investigation they were actually like one-of-one designer pieces that cost hundreds of dollars and crazy shit like that, and they only ate cigarettes and shitty shitty beer. i went to a party at one of their apartments once and it was inside this like seemingly derelict warehouse, but when we got in it turned out the whole place had been gut-renovated, and he lived in a lofted penthouse with roof access, and everyone there was like smoking weed and giving each other the shittiest tattoos ive ever seen, and i found out his dad paid for his rent and the nelson mandela tattoo thing i mention in later chapters? is based on a Real Thing i saw with my eyes at this party.

“Rigor mortis only lasts like a day.” He plops another finger chunk in a trashbag. “After that, they get all gooshy again.” “I didn’t know that.” “We actually got in at the perfect time!” Johnny continues gratefully. “The window between rigor mortis and true decomposition is small, if nonexistent. Both are extremely unpleasant in their own ways, obviously, but I personally detest the smell of putrefaction. And house flies are annoying.” He wipes a gory gloved hand across the front of his poncho. “So this is really ideal.”

HYPERFIXATION!!!!!! SPECIAL INTEREST IS DEATH AND DECAY!

“The little junkyard doggies love this stuff.” He shakes the contractor bag–its contents make vile, macaroni and cheese-type squishing sounds. “I toss them out my window when I drive by, and they maul each other to try and get to ‘em. It’s so cute.”

i love the little glimpses of weird things nny finds cute that we get in jthm and on the johnny c twitter. i want more of that.

“Does your trunk open with the key, or is there one of those secret buttons somewhere in the front I have to press?” “Oh, the trunk doesn’t open.” Devi freezes in the doorway. She digs her nails into the frame. Slowly, in her comedically loud poncho, she turns to look Nny in his dumb face. “...the trunk doesn’t open… at all?”“Nooooooo, I made a bunch of oobleck for the neighbor kid–I was going to teach him a valuable lesson about the dangers of quicksand and quicksand-adjacent colloids–but then I forgot about it in my trunk during a week-long heat wave and it all kind of exploded.” “And so the trunk doesn’t open.” “Nope.” Johnny finally understands the problem. “Oh damn.” “Yeah, Nny.” Devi grits her teeth. “Yeah, ‘oh damn.’”

SQUEE MENTION 🗣️🗣️🗣️ i think this is one of my fav exchanges in the whole fic. i love for nny to be a huge idiot. i love devi to want to kill him for being a huge idiot.

“If I let you drive, you’re gonna play some fuckin’ irritating classical music you downloaded from LimeWire, and you’re gonna stop at every Cum-N-Go for some cherry flavored swill, and then you’re gonna need to go pee-pees every twenty minutes, and I really really REALLY don’t have the patience for any of that right now, Jonathan.”

this is funny because johnny’s name is most certainly not jonathan. devi knows this.

“If I recall correctly, you slaughtered an entire movie theater’s worth of people when The Fifth Element didn’t meet your IMPOSSIBLY HIGH EXPECTATIONS?? YES?” “IT HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL!” “GARY OLDMAN LOOKED LIKE A PERVERTED BUSINESSMAN WHO GOT BORED HALFWAY THROUGH PUTTING ON A MARILYN MANSON COSTUME AND THAT WAS ON THE POSTER–YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN WHAT YOU WERE GETTING YOURSELF INTO!”

this is a little reference to jv’s diary kept during the 1997 roadkill!! tour, in which they see the fifth element and he’s simply underwhelmed. i love the idea of nny getting his hopes up so high for movies and then going completely insane when they’re just whatever. for the record i love the fifth element.

As the car lurches from the inertia of the stop, the twine around the roof of the car groans, and then snaps completely, and with a loud thump the body slides out of the tarp and onto the hood, and its pallid bare ass is pressed up against the windshield. Devi reaches for the gear shift, taps the wipers on the way, and now the ass is doing a weird sexy dance for the two of them as the blades push it back and forth. They’re still screaming. Devi finally shifts it into reverse and turns over the seat to back up–Nny can’t look away from the ass. She floors it. The body goes flying, all rubbery and floppy and veiny and sexy, and the car keeps backing up until it eventually collides with the ceramic squirrel riding a tractor.

i had the idea of nny and devi having to dump the body really early on in writing. LOVE the trope of ppl needing to get rid of a body in a funny way. i didn’t have a plan, i just liked the insurance policy thing, like of nny being really concerned about obeying traffic laws and not wanting to get any demerits (idk i don’t drive) and devi being like “what the fuck you’re literally a mass murderer” and i REALLY wanted all this to feel stupid and not like. idk a bummer in any way. i definitely took a lot of inspo from the scene in search party season 2 (SPOILERS), where they go to the store to find a suitcase for a body and a guy convinces them to buy a really gaudy zebra print one. just weird absurdity stupidity etc.

thank u for the ask sorry this took SO LONG ily PLATONIC!!!!!

[punchdrunkdoc]

Part 3, Chapter 3

Summary: After the events of S3, Matt Murdock is trying to once again balance life as a lawyer and a vigilante. But he’s been scarred by loss and betrayal - will a mysterious new neighbour help him heal? Or will her secrets drag him back into the darkness?

Notes: This is a slow burn romance with an original female character, told in 3 (maybe 4??) parts. There is mystery, intrigue, action/violence and angst - all the good stuff!

Also available on AO3 and Wattpad

Masterlist

Reference pics

————–

PART 3

Chapter 3

The next morning, Matt smiled as he walked passed the florist on his way to work, the rich, heady scent of roses filling the air.

Yesterday, that fragrant reminder of the upcoming romantic celebration had only added to his bad mood - the bad mood caused by a week spent worrying about Calina and her strange phone call, and a month and a half spent missing her. The fact that Valentine’s Day was approaching meant he was bitterly reminded of what was taken from them, and what other couple’s took for granted - the chance to be with each other.

But today, he was actually feeling…optimistic.

Calina may have been a few days early, but she’d given him the perfect Valentine’s gift:

Hope.

Her brief visit last night had spurned him out of his morose despondency. It was the catalyst he’d needed to realise that it was time to stop dwelling on the negatives and obsessing over what they’d lost.

Instead, it was time to focus on the positives. They were both still alive. Still healthy. And still fighting for each other. Distance didn’t matter. Being temporarily separated didn’t matter. They loved each other. They would have the rest of their lives together. A few months apart was nothing compared to the years to come.

Matt had been dealt some crap hands throughout his life - losing his sight. Losing his father. Losing again and again. But he’d always found a reason to stay in the game. To accept the defeats and find the will to carry on playing.

This was no different.

He just had to have faith that God’s plan would reveal itself.

And this morning, he felt like he was finally getting a glimpse of the tapestry. He was finally seeing the beauty in the chaos. This separation would only strengthen them as a couple. It would serve to reinforce their bond, and ensure that they never took each other - or their happiness together - for granted.

“You seem…better,” Karen commented when Matt reached the office.

Matt shrugged. “I feel better.”

“That’s good.” She gifted him with a wide smile, and Foggy patted him on the shoulder.

It made Matt realise how much his foul mood had been impacting his friends and their workplace. “I’m sorry, guys,” he said. “For being such a miserable bastard the last couple of months.”

“I wouldn’t say ‘miserable bastard’,” Foggy replied. “That’s a bit harsh. ‘Forlorn asshole’, maybe. Or ‘wretched son of a bitch’ would be more accurate.”

Matt laughed. “Okay, okay, I get it. I’ll try to be more upbeat from now on.”

“What brought on this sudden change in attitude?” Foggy asked.

Matt couldn’t help his smile. “I saw Calina last night.”

“So you got laid! That explains everything!”

Karen slapped Foggy’s chest with the back of her hand. “God, Foggy.”

Matt just laughed. “No, it was just a quick visit. But it helped give me some perspective. It’s like you said, Fog - this is just a long distance relationship. It won’t last forever…and other couples go through similar experiences all the time.”

“Exactly, man. Astronauts.”

Matt smiled. “Yeah. Astronauts.”

“She’s Neil Armstrong, and you’re the little lady waiting back on earth.”

Matt rolled his eyes. “Something like that.”

“Okay,” Foggy said, rubbing his hands together. “Well, since you’re in such a good mood, you can take point on the meeting with the new nightmare client, while I finish off the brief for the Chisholm case.”

“Nightmare client?” Matt asked.

“Yeah, a tenant dispute case. They’re arriving at 10.”

“Fine,” Matt agreed. Liaising with a difficult client was the least he could do to make up for his less than stellar performance the last couple of months. “But I have something to do first.” He held up the USB drive that Calina had slipped to him last night.

“What’s that?” Karen asked.

“I’ll let you know as soon as I do.”

Matt booted up his computer and plugged in the device. It contained a single large document which he printed off in braille and started scanning through. At first there was just a list of chemicals - the results of the analysis by the Widow scientist - but then Calina added some context.

And it changed everything.

“Guys?” he called out. “You gotta hear this.”

“What is it?” Karen said, taking a seat on the other side of his desk. Foggy joined them a moment later and leaned against the door frame.

“Calina found something.” Matt spun his monitor around to show the document on the screen. “Apparently, one of the main ingredients of the fear pheromone is something called Arsonium bromide. Its a chemical that environmental groups have been calling for greater regulation on, because it’s disposal has been linked to soil contamination which is affecting agriculture yields across the country. Those environmental groups were successful in convincing a prominent politician to lobby their cause to the EPA last year.”

“Okay,” Karen said slowly. “How does this help us?”

“That prominent politician was Governor Andrew Benson.”

“The guy Calina was supposed to assassinate?”

“Yes.” Matt leaned forward as he laid out Calina’s theory. “Two days after the failed assassination, Benson suddenly, and without warning, withdrew his petition to the EPA, and walked back all his previous objections to the chemical.”

“Somebody got to him,” Karen added. “Somebody with a vested interest in the use of Arsonium bromide.”

“Exactly. With Benson’s support, the environmental groups were gaining traction in their fight. So someone tried to take Benson out. And when that failed, they likely played off the assassination attempt as a warning.”

“Do as we say, or next time it’ll be for real,” Foggy guessed. “Which means whoever is behind the manufacture of the fear pheromone-”

“Is the same person who arranged for Calina to be reactivated,” Karen finished.

“It’s all connected,” Matt said. “If we find out who created the pheromone, we find out who ordered Calina’s mind control. And vice versa - if we can find out who paid to have their very own Widow assassin, we find our pheromone guy.”

“Holy shit,” Karen whispered, tilting the monitor so she could read through the information on the screen.

“I take it the Widows are concentrating on finding out who bought Calina’s ‘services’, for want of a better term?” Foggy asked, reading the screen over Karen’s shoulder.

“As much as they can - but they’re more focussed on hunting down Volkov. He’s the bigger threat to them right now. Which means we’ll be doing them a favour if we find this information first.”

“So where do we begin?” Foggy asked.

“I say we concentrate on researching this chemical. Where its manufactured, who buys it, and how.”

“I’ll start today,” Karen answered, scribbling in her notebook.

“What does this mean?” Foggy said, pointing to something on Matt’s screen.

“Which part?” Matt asked, shuffling through his print outs.

“The last sentence. It says, ‘I hope this helps, shereen-am.’ What is ‘shereen-am’?”

Matt tried to control his reaction. “It’s nothing. Just an inside joke.”

It wasn’t nothing. And it wasn’t a joke. But it was something private, just between Matt and Calina. He’d googled the phrase before calling the others into his office and found that it was a Persian term of endearment. Roughly translated from Farsi into English it meant ‘Honey’.

By using that term, Calina was reminding him of Christmas Day, when she’d whispered all those terms of endearment into his ear as they’d made love on the couch.

She was reminding him of a happier time, to help get him through the dark and lonely days to come.

Matt smiled as he skimmed his fingers over that word again: Shereen-am.

Calina’s visit last night had given him hope. The information on the USB had given him a lead. And the affectionate nickname on the end of her message had given him a glimpse of how things would be between them in the future.

It was a promise, of better times ahead.

———

“And then he grabbed her and kissed her!”

“It was like something out of a movie - the way he dipped her back, and with the two of them bathed in the moonlight with the stars twinkling overhead…”

Calina groaned and sank into her chair as Katya and Inessa gushed to the other Widows about Matt’s antics on the boat last night. The three of them had arrived back at the mansion at dawn, and after a brief nap, they were now debriefing the rest of the team.

But it had gotten a little side-tracked.

“‘Bathed in the moonlight’?” Sofia repeated. “Come on, Inessa, I think you’ve been reading too many of those romance novels.”

“But that’s exactly what it was like!” the younger Widow protested. “It was the most romantic, swoon-worthy thing I’ve ever seen!”

“That’s not really saying much, given the way we were raised,” Viktoria commented.

Inessa rolled her eyes, and opened her mouth to respond but Anya cut her off. “Enough about Calina’s love life. Did you find the warehouse?”

Calina sat up again. “Yes, enough about me. Tell them what you found.”

Anya had found mention on Ranieri’s laptop of a recent real estate transaction. Which wasn’t unusual in itself - the Ranieri family seemed to prioritise property and commercial investments over gambling on the stock market. But while the rest of Salvatore’s portfolio made sense for a party guy in his late twenties - night clubs, bars, trendy apartments in major cities across the world - a former wholesale carpet warehouse in an industrial estate in New Jersey did not.

So Katya and Inessa had been tasked with scoping it out. 

Katya tossed a USB stick to Anya. “Photographs and schematics as requested. The place was deserted - no personnel on the grounds - but it was spotless, with signs of a recent professional clean. It’s definitely being prepped for something.”

“Like a lab to manufacture the mind control serum,” Sofia guessed.

“Possibly,” Yelena interjected. “But we can’t get ahead of ourselves. We need more evidence. We need to be sure before we make any moves.”

“Agreed,” Anya chimed in.

“Which is why we planted a few cameras,” Inessa said with a cocky grin. “And several bugs. We’ll know soon enough what the plan is for that building.”

“Good,” Yelena responded. She looked around the room at the rest of the Widows. And a rare smile graced her face. “I know I just told you all to be cautious…but I have a good feeling about this. I think this is how we get Volkov. I think this will all be over soon.”

Several of the women whooped and cheered in response - a sign that Calina wasn’t the only one who was looking forward to this confinement ending.

And it also proved to Calina how much the Widows had come out of their shells over the last few months. They laughed more readily now. They expressed their emotions without prompting. Conversations flowed instead of stuttered, and there was an easy camaraderie between everyone.

The stilted, angry, and bitter atmosphere that often pervaded the base in South Carolina didn’t exist here in Maine. And Calina knew it had nothing to do with the change in scenery - the weather outside the mansion was dark and grey and wet these days, holding little of the sunny, vibrant beauty of Charleston.

Time was the reason.

They’d been given time to start the healing process. To learn about themselves and the world around them. Time to find their little moments of joy.

Joy that even Volkov couldn’t take away. If anything, the looming threat that he posed had the opposite effect - as if the Widows were defiantly enjoying themselves even more to spite him and his attempts to force them back into an emotionless, violent existence.

Calina would be sorry to leave this place when the time came. She no longer felt the need to escape this environment. Not like in the beginning, when she’d first been freed. Back then, she’d felt suffocated by all the pain and rage around her. She’d wanted to strike out on her own and discover who she was away from that toxic environment.

But everything was different now. Now she would miss living here with all her sisters.

Though not as much as she missed Matt.

Seeing him last night had been a rollercoaster ride. She’d swung from the lowest low of wanting to escape his presence, to the highest high from that kiss. Because as much as it made Calina cringe, Inessa’s description had been spot-on - it had been the most wonderful, romantic, swoon-worthy gesture in the history of the world.

But on the journey back to Maine, the high had worn off. And all her doubts and fears - and all the guilt - had come flooding back.

And all of it boiled down to one thing - she didn’t feel worthy of him.

She didn’t feel worthy of the kind of man who would fly a hundred feet through the air just to kiss her. She didn’t feel worthy of a man as amazing and kind and smart as Matt. A man who fiercely protected the strangers in his city, and could touch her with such reverent tenderness.

The kiss had made her forget all that. It had short-circuited her brain and over-rode all her negative emotions, until the only thing left was passion. She’d given in to the moment, to the feel of being in Matt’s arms again.

Which she’d known would happen. It was the reason she’d chosen that cramped, awkward crane jib as their meeting point in the first place. She’d known that if they’d met in his apartment, or on the pier - or anywhere else out in the open - he would have taken her in his arms and she would have been powerless to resist. She would have accepted his embrace and returned his kiss all the while feeling undeserving of him.

So she’d chosen that metal cage instead, as a way to deny herself.

As a punishment.

But he’d gotten around her little ploy. He’d kissed the life out of her on that boat deck, and everything else had faded away. How guilty she felt about Italy. How scared she was that if he truly knew her and everything she’d done as a Widow that he’d hate her.

How terrified she was that they were too good to be true.

“Calina!”

Calina lifted her head at the sound of her name. The other widows were all staring at her. “Huh?” she asked.

“You spaced out there,” Inessa explained.

“Sorry. Just tired,” she lied. “I’m going to head back to bed.”

The chorus of ‘Byes’ and ‘Sleep wells’ from her sisters followed Calina up the stairs, but she was already lost in thought again.

She didn’t know what to do about Matt and all these doubts she was having.

Did she share them with him? Admit her fears about not being worthy of his love? Could she even explain them without having to divulge all the dirty secrets of her past? Wouldn’t that just bring about the end of their relationship and defeat the purpose of the whole ‘sharing’ thing?

Calina fell forward onto her bed and smothered her frustrated groan with her pillow. Then she flipped onto her back and stared up at the ceiling as she contemplated the alternative scenario: being with Matt, with this constant pit of worry in her stomach. Revelling in his affection and his love whilst always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

A tear leaked from the corner of Calina’s eye as she wrestled with all of these unfamiliar emotions. A tiny part of her longed for the days of being an unfeeling automaton…but she quickly squashed that treacherous notion.

This was better.

Despite all the uncertainty and pain and confusion, dealing with these emotions was far better than living as a shell of a human being under the Red Room’s control.

“Hey, you okay?”

Calina hastily wiped away the tear as Katya entered their room. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Liar,” Katya teased, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “You’ve not been okay since Italy. Did something else happen there?”

Calina levered herself up to rest against the headboard. “What do you mean?”

“Well, when you debriefed us after the mission you said Ranieri just got a bit handsy. Did something…more…happen that night? You can tell me.”

Calina shook her head. “No, nothing else happened.”

“So what is it? What’s going on with you?”

Calina’s first instinct was to lie again. To keep everything to herself. It was the way she was raised - the way they all had been. Even before the mind control serum took away their emotions they were trained to hide them. To bury their sadness and their loneliness and their pain. To never confide in anyone how they were feeling.

It was a difficult habit to break, but Calina was determined to tear away this next layer of Red Room conditioning. So she took a deep breath and told Katya everything. How she’d called Matt before the party in Italy. How having Ranieri’s hands on her felt. And how it was all messing with her head. “I know intellectually that nothing really happened,” she explained. “It was just a few unwanted gropes and a kiss on the neck - I’ve been through much worse on missions like that - but I just feel so…guilty. I keep imagining if it was Matt in that situation, and he’d let some other woman touch him. I would hate it. Which means I can’t tell him, because then he’d hate me.”

“You don’t know that for sure,” Katya interjected. “If you just explain to him that it was a mission and you were playing a role-”

“But that would just open up this whole can of worms. About all the other roles I’ve played in the past, and the things I’ve done-”

“While under mind control, Calina.”

“Again, I know that intellectually…but don’t you still feel guilty about everything you did while under the serum?”

Katya smiled. “I feel guilty for stabbing you in Seoul.”

Calina rolled her eyes. “I’m being serious. We all did some really messed up shit for Dreykov. Doesn’t that…stick with you at all?”

Katya looked down as she picked at a loose thread in the bedspread. “Occasionally. Usually at night - my dreams are sometimes…not fun.”

Calina placed her hand over Katya’s remembering what it was like when she first arrived in New York - the endless nights spent pacing the rooftop, unable to sleep. “I’m sorry.”

Katya shrugged. “It’s fine. They’re just memories. The important thing is that I don’t blame myself for it. And you’re not to blame either. We were kids when we were brainwashed, and then we were forced against our will to commit all those acts.”

“But what about now? We’re acting on our own free will, and we’re still murdering and stealing-”

“Yes, to stop the bad guys!” Katya protested. “We’re on the side of good now. And we have the rest of our lives to be on that good side, and to make up for everything we’ve done”

“Can we, though? Can we possibly balance a ledger with so much red in it?”

“Now you sound like Natasha. And look what she’s accomplished. She’s an Avenger. Little girls all over the world want to be like her, because she’s a hero. We can be like that too.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever feel like a hero. Matt’s a hero, and he-”

It was Katya’s turn to roll her eyes. “You know I like Matt, but he’s not exactly squeaky-clean. He’s a vigilante - he breaks the law every night.”

“It’s different. He has a moral code. One I’ve violated again and again. If he ever found out the truth about me, he’d hate me.”

Katya studied her for a few moments, a frown marring her face. “Calina, what is the ‘truth’ about you?”

Calina swallowed harshly. When she finally answered, her voice was small and shaky. “That I’m not a good person.”

Katya reared back. “That’s ridiculous! You were brainwashed and under mind control-”

“I’m not talking about that! Since leaving the Red Room, I’ve abandoned my sisters, I’ve lied to everyone I’ve met, I’ve killed people, and I- I cheated on my boyfriend!”

“You didn’t cheat!”

“What would you call it?”

“I call it necessary! We’re fighting a war here, Calina. And wars are messy, and they involve sacrifice and difficult decisions. Killing the men who came after you, lying to protect your identity and going undercover to steal from Ranieri were difficult decisions, but necessary.”

“But-”

“I’m not finished!”

Calina snapped her mouth closed. She’d never seen Katya like this - so agitated and…loud. She’d always been one of the quieter, more rational Widows.

“As to your other ‘sin’,” Katya continued. “You did not abandon us. You came to save me in Korea - you risked your life to save me. That’s not abandonment. And the other widows told me what you were like after you were freed - they could all see you were struggling. Moving to New York was another necessary decision. You know why?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re a good person. You were never cut out for this kind of life. Even as kids we realised that you were too sweet and sensitive. And the Red Room persisted in trying to beat that out of you, but they never could. Despite what you’ve been through and what you were forced to do, you’re still that same sweet, sensitive, good person. It’s why you’re feeling all of this so much more than the rest of us. And while we all appreciate your help with taking down Volkov, if you want to leave again, not one person would blame you.”

She bumped her shoulder against Calina’s. “We love you, Calina. You are worthy of love. You just need to convince yourself of that.”

————–

So do we think Katya got through to Calina? Does she believe now that she's worthy of Matt?

Read chapter 4 to find out...

Tag list: @hollandorks @stilldreaming666 @yanna-banana @chezagnes​ @tearoseart-blog @acharliecoxedfan​ @freckledbabyyy ​​

If you’d like to be added - let me know!

[ranchracoon]

Ch. 6 Flowers and Books

The next morning was strangely quiet, Angie didn't yell for you per usual and your mind instantly went to the worst thing. You shot out fast enough that the bed shook, ran down the stairs panting then came to an abrupt halt when you found a note on the elevator. It stated that Angie had to run into town to get some supplies for the week since it wasn't done yesterday. She was older than time itself and you thought for sure you would have found her dead on the floor. Then again, she'll probably outlive you. You breathed out heavily as your heart rate came down then went to officially get dressed and do your morning routine.

You were excited and thankful it was Sunday, not only to recover from coming home so late last night, but also to work on the front of the manor. From the tiny glimpse in the village of the Dimitrecu manor, you saw that they had gorgeous gardens and vineyards, and you wanted the manor to be a sliver of that. As if someone or something read your mind, when you got to the top of the stairs, there was a book laying off to the side of your door. When you ran out you must have kicked it away or ran over it without noticing. You knelt down to pick it up and looked over the cover.

"Mountain flowers and how to care for them." You read aloud.

Maybe Angie left it before she left, even though she's never given you any kind of present before. You shrugged, took it inside your room and placed it on the desk near the door. The closet doors groaned when you opened them to expose your limited inventory of clothes that had fit into your bags. Now you regret thinking you were going somewhere nice because you could have fit more stuff into the briefcase rather than an unused journal, and a few sentimental items.

Maybe you could convince Angie to get you some supplies for clothing or some lei to buy some but that was an argument for another day. You pulled out some overalls and a shirt you didn't care much for. They were starting to look loose on you from the amount of work you were doing.

"I need some new clothes." You grumbled to yourself.

The outside was shrouded in fog from the waterfall and cool fall air rolling in, a shiver ran up your spine and you rubbed your arms for warmth. You groaned and grunted loudly as you ripped the old, dead vines from the wooden structures and put them all in a pile, unsure what to do with it afterwards. The wood looked old and worn from the years of exposure to water and sunlight, however the structure seemed intact and held its own.

"What are you doing?"

You stood up quickly from being startled as you stared at Angie holding a wicker basket with a blanket over it, in her arm. The sun was nearing its peak and now beat down on you, you hadn't realized how thirsty and tired you were until now. Luckily and unluckily it had warmed up enough for you to feel the sweat on every crevice when a breeze hit you. You had been going for hours non-stop and Angie broke your stride, but the yard looked far better and less....dead. Angie walked past you and eyed the torn up roots then tisked her tongue.

"Does the lord know you're doing this?" She asked as she shoved the basket into your chest.

"Um.." You thought back to the book, "I think so?" You answered with a shrug.

"Hmph."

Your legs shook as you took slow steps behind Angie toward the front door, however, the sound of crunching leaves caught your attention. Both you and Angie turned to look toward the path to see Mother Miranda walking straight for the manor, behind her was Lady Dimitrescu and Bela. You smiled brightly at the sight of Bela, she smiled half-heartedly with a small wave when they approached. On cue you leaned over to open the door for them, Mother Miranda bowed her head to you then strolled past. When Bela passed, you held the door with your foot and tapped her arm.

"Bela, what's going on?" You whispered.

Bela glanced at her mother then back at you, "to be honest, I don't know. Mother got a call then ordered for me to come with her here. I'll try to tell you when we're done."

"Bela." Called Lady Dimitrescu.

"Coming."

Bela hurried to the elevator with the other women, you closed the front doors and waited for the elevator to come back up so you could go to the kitchen. Angie waited next to you patiently without a word, she walked you to the kitchen then disappeared up the stairs toward the workshop. This was the first meal you prepared all week where you didn't feel someone lurking over your shoulder; somehow it felt naked and you hummed a song to yourself as a distraction. When dinner was ready you heard the bell for the main dining area. You took a tray and Angie appeared suddenly to take it from you. Before you could question her she motioned for you to grab the other tray and follow. You sighed and did as you were told: followed her to the dining area.

Mother Miranda, Lady Dimitrescu, and Bela were sitting in silence; none of them looked at you when you served them, including Bela who looked away when you tried to catch her eye. Angie and you stood off to the side and watched them eat. When they finished, Mother Miranda stood with her hands folded in front of her.

"Thank you for the meal and being generous hosts. I have preparations to do. Good evening."

Mother Miranda turned around and left, shortly after the door shut Lady Dimitrescu released a heavy sigh. The muscles in her jaw clenched, her lips pursed in anger, she brought her gloved hand to her forehead and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"Is there anything I can get for you Lady Dimitrescu?" You offered.

"Yes. Do you have anything for a headache?" She replied.

"Of course my Lady, I will be back with something. Y/N, clean this up." Angie said.

"I'll help you." Offered Bela quickly.

Lady Dimitrescu waved her hand and leaned over, still clutching her nose. You and Bela carried the trays back down to the kitchen, everything was put in the sink for you to wash. Bela took off her cloak and hung it on a hook on the wall then hopped on the counter to dry dishes that you handed to her.

"Can you tell me what's going on now?" You asked cautiously.

Bela groaned, "Lord Moreau died."

You stopped your washing, the plate slipped from your grasp into the sink, your eyes widened when you locked eyes with her. She kept your stare and stopped drying the dish in her hands, setting it down beside her with a soft clank.

"How?" You asked worriedly.

"According to his son and Mother Miranda, he drank too much at the festival so he thought it was a brilliant idea to go on a night fishing trip without telling anyone. When they didn't find his boat this morning, Salvatore and his crew went searching for him. They found his boat anchored in the bay with his body...floating face down next to it in the water." Bela answered.

"Oh shit...so that means.." You started.

"Salvatore will be appointed the new lord after the funeral." Bela finished.

Everything around you spun, Bela slid off the counter and grabbed your arm to keep you upright. You supported yourself on the counter, after you composed yourself you nodded to Bela to let you go. She hesitantly released you then leaned against the counter with her arms crossed.

"Bela. If Salvatore comes within a 50 mile radius of me with a marriage proposal, I'm telling him we're engaged."

"Wow. I think you're supposed to ask me on a date before marriage." Bela teased.

"I'm serious Bela."

"Look...if La...Lord Beneviento doesn't stand up for you then we will. My mother despises Salvatore more than his father. You can come work for us."

You nodded your head with a half smile, then went on to continue washing the dishes. Bela helped by drying and eased your worry with funny stories about her sisters. When all was done, you and Bela went back up to the sitting area to find Angie handing Lady Dimitrescu some water and a pill. Lady Dimitrescu's eyes caught yours for a brief moment when she sipped the water then thanked Angie before she stood.

"We should take our leave as well. Thank you Angie and Y/N for the meal."

Bela and Lady Dimitrescu left, you waved goodbye to them as they vanished from view but a dark pit in your stomach formed. The familiar feeling of eyes on you was a welcomed relief, as if the comfort of a companion suddenly returned. Angie crept up beside you as you continued to stand in the doorway looking out.

"Lord Moreau died." Angie stated matter-of-factly.

You took a moment to act as if you didn't already know, then took a deep breath.

"When's the funeral?"

"A few days. Salvatore will be appointed that evening." Angie replied quietly.

"So soon?" You questioned surprised.

"Salvatore requested it that way. Why have the villagers gathered twice?" Angie shrugged her shoulders then walked away from view.

You shut the front doors then looked around the empty manor for wherever the lord was lurking. How they could hide so well in such a minimal space continued to astound you. You sighed softly but the anxiety grew with each step you took up the stairs. In the safety of your room you kicked off your dirty clothes and piled them into a corner. The bed creaked under your weight when you crashed onto it, but sleep would not come.

All night you tossed and turned, sleep only came in increments and when the morning sun peeked through your window to wake you, you were already awake. The thoughts and anxiety plagued every wrinkle of your brain and you weren't sure if you were going to throw up or not. The clothes from yesterday were still on the floor and you still had dried dirt stuck to your skin. With a soft sigh you got up from the bed, picked up the clothes, and put them in a basket to wash later, but first you had to wash yourself. You opened the door and your foot kicked something, when you looked down there were three rolls of fabric.

You leaned out to look down the empty hallway then over the railing down into the main sitting area. The clothes you had planned on changing into were set aside as you picked up the rolls, each had a different feeling to them; one was black, thick and warm, the other was white and soft like silk, and the last was dark red cotton. Of course underneath the fabric was another book. After you put the rolls of fabric in your closet you picked up the book that had a small bag attached. It was a book about sewing, clothes specifically, with patterns and designs and the bag attached had thread with needles in a small case.

Now you were certain: only one person could have heard you talk about needing clothes and Angie was in town. A blush crept over your cheeks at the thought of what else the lord might have heard you say, definitely every time you cursed under your breath when you got frustrated at Angie or chores.

"Y/N!"

Speaking of the devil. You stored the materials in your closet, and grabbed your change of clothes then went out into the hallway to glance down at Angie. She looked up at you with her hands on her hips.

"Get washed up, we're going into town to get you an outfit for Lord Moreau's funeral."

You nodded in response then walked down the hall to the bathroom where you washed yourself in a large wooden tub with lukewarm water. Once you were washed, dressed, and brushed your teeth, you greeted Angie downstairs. Before you finished walking, a speck of yellow caught your eye in the mass of vines from yesterday. It was a small yellow flower that was blooming amongst decay and rot. It felt only fitting that you pick it and set it down on Claudia's grave when you passed it. Angie guided you to a shop of hanging clothes, the material looked familiar to the ones you received, you furrowed your brows attempting to inspect them closer.

Angie waited patiently as you looked at the black outfits, you settled on a (your choice of suit or dress), and the man behind the counter helped you size it properly when you tried it on. After Angie paid, you waited behind for only a moment to ask the man if he had any stencils you could take.

"Sorry miss, all the clothes here are made by Lord Beneviento. I simply size and occasionally fix them." He told you.

"Oh." You said disappointed, "well, thanks anyway."

When you reached Angie she started walking immediately back to the manor, narrowly avoiding people who crossed her path. She subtly reminded you of your aunt: everyone avoided her like she was covered in boils, yet she held herself up with such high esteem. Angie and your aunt would have gotten along famously, or Angie would have torn her apart like a chew toy.

"Do you think Lord Beneviento will attend the funeral?" You interrogated.

"He better. Or else it's considered a great insult not to attend the funeral of a lord or mother who passed."

The funeral just might be your ticket to finally seeing the lord face to face. You had your doubts, they clearly were a master of hiding but there was still a spark of hope they would show. However, the anxiety deep in your stomach overshadowed that hope the closer the funeral got and the hope for the lord to show turned more into a prayer. If Lord Beneviento didn't show up to the funeral, would you be safe from Salvatore once he inherits the power of being a lord?

Continue Reading

[missrandomdreamer]

Family Ties

just a snippet of writing for Hope and her brother talking about life and Karl meeting said brother. The siblings conversation was a lot more cut-throat but then I realized Hope probably wouldn't say what she was thinking out loud so dialed it back a bit. Also people will get a glimpse of Hope when she is around her family which is very different than when she is with other people :T This was just something I wanted to write, not really edited and not sure where it will fit in the over all story but just kind of felt like writing something like this *shrugs*

"You dyed your hair again , it looks like crap."

"Wow, nice to see you again to Merle."

Hope couldn't hide her frown and the slight pain in her eyes, but luckily for her the purple shades protected her brother seeing the latter. Merle Cohen Joyce, a foot taller than her, skinnier than a toothpick and blue eyes that looked at you a certain way made you feel like shit. That was her brother.

Merle looked her over from underneath his baseball cap wit his judgemental eyes, "Did you get more tattoos."

Hope rolled her eyes and pushed off her yellow jeep and walked to the entrance of the cemetery. "No, I did not. I haven't got any new ones since leaving home. Did you come all the way up here to talk shit?"

Merle followed her behind rolling his own eyes at his younger sister, instantly catching up her in only a few strides due to his long legs. "Still have the sailor mouth I hear."

"You bring it out of me." she muttered back, tightening her purple hair tighter in its ponytail. Hope sighed and looked out around the cemetery. They were the only two there, much like how it always had been. No one ever came to this cemetery, not anymore. It was a place they used to go to all the time when they were both younger. It always brought them comfort even if they didn't even have relatives their, it was just a nice peaceful place. Hope carefully watched her steps as they traversed the grounds, annoyed that her brother was walking always a step ahead. She heard her brother huff, but not out of being tired but of annoyance.

"To answer your question I didn't come here to make fun of you, entirely, just had to get it out of the way first." He grinned down at her and the younger woman scowled up at him. "I came up to see how you were doing and well to catch up. Mary is visiting her family up here and so I thought I would do the same."

"Only out of convenience, I see."

"I was going to ask if you wanted to come to dinner with us tomorrow night. You and her siblings got along last time. You guys like the same stuff, they all really like you, for some reason."

"I'm not in the people pleasing, talking over dinner, trying to make conversation type of mood." Merle huffed again and turned to her, eyes narrowed down,

"You never are, Hope."

"I've had to much human interaction this week, and had to deal with to many rude customers. I'm tired."

"And you are always tired. It's literally just a few hours, it isn't going to kill you."

The two stood still near a large oak tree, its heavy arms out stretched nearly hitting Merle on the head but the man didn't move. Hope had never really clicked with Merle's wife Mary or her family. Sure she was nice enough but there was just something about them that rubbed her the wrong way. She could never really pinpoint it there was just something, about them. Maybe it was because they were over religious (in her eyes), maybe she always felt a look of disapproval when she had come to talk to them. Of course, she had to play pretend when she saw them, all smiles chipper voice despite on the inside she felt like screaming and crawling into a hole. Hope took a deep breath and let it out slow,

"Ill go to the dinner."

"I don't want you there if you are gonna be all mad about it."

"I won't be."

Again the silence came, now it was Merle's turn to sigh and adjust his hat.

"Look I didn't come up here to fight with you, though you make it terribly hard not too. I came up here to see you again and to ask you something."

Hope turned slightly to him, she was waiting for this, she knew it was coming.

"Will you go with me to see dad?" his voice was soft and serious. "You know he will be out soon. Mom says shes been talking a lot to him lately, says hes changed, like a lot."

"That's what she's been saying. She's been calling me nearly every other day telling me that." Merle sighed putting his back to the tree facing away from Hope.

"I want to try to get the family together. Maybe things will be different now, it doesn't have to be perfect right away but at least we can try."

"He's said he would change before and he never has, why should this time be any different?" Hope said softly, trying again not to let her brother hear the tremble on her voice. Merle gave her a side glance and stuffed his hands into his black denim jacket, shrugging slightly.

"Supposedly he's got back into church or at least the ministry at the prison. Even his brother said he's changed, for the better. You know coming from Uncle Sean, that says a lot."

Hope look past the tree to the stones beyond out to the road. She felt a tightness in her chest and she wanted to scream and cry but she knew she had to keep it together. Crying in front of anyone but especially her brother, she just couldn't do. "When did you plan on going," she brought her eyes down studying her combat boots in the mud. " I have work, I would have to put in for it."

She could feel Merle's cold glare, " Probably a few days after he gets out. Give him some breathing room, maybe come down the following weekend. It would just be us, Uncle Sean and Aunt Em. That's it. " Hope again kicked the dirt.

"Give me a day and I'll put in for it, I guess." She didn't want to. Hope did not want to, with every fiber of her being she did not want to get dragged down there again but then their was that small part. That little part that whispered guilt and damnation if she didn't go and face her father again, her family again. Hope closed her eyes and adjusted her ponytail.

Merle again studied her, his lips pressed into a thin line. There was a silence between the two of them again with only the distant sound of a crow cawing and the hushing of the wind in the leaves of the tree. He eventually looked away and started his walk back towards the car, it had only been a meeting place after all, "Weren't you going to show me your apartment? I think it's going to rain soon anyway."

Hope leaned her head back and quietly prayed for the strength not to snap, immediately thinking the worst of her brother seeing her apartment and judging it. She took in another deep breath and let it out through her nose before turning around to catch up with him. "Yeah, wait up, Ill lead the way."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heisenberg could feel the humidity in the air as he stepped out of the apartment building. He has been fixing one of the tenants pluming all day, then proceeded to get into a lengthy heated argument with Reddick on the phone. Now all he wanted to do was hide in his work shed, lock the door and not come out till midnight. Karl was already taking out a cigar and about to light it when the slamming of a car door grabbed his attention.

To his utter surprise it was Hope, though immediately seeing her rigid and the blank face, could tell something was wrong. He was going to walk towards her when suddenly a man appeared at her side. Karl felt something write in his stomach and he found himself concealing himself behind a large tree only ever peaking out around to watch them. The man was tall, lean, nearly like a scarecrow. He wore a serious expression, tussled black hair and seemed to walk with a purpose. Karl saw the man say something to Hope, but he couldn't hear, they were to far away. Hope remained blank face but walked towards the pathway that led to complex with her apartment. He saw her turn her head up to the man and respond but again Karl had no idea what they were talking about.

He didn't feel right, something felt wrong. He had never seen her body language like that and he had never seen this guy with her before. Heisenberg immediately felt annoyed and angry. Why? Heisenberg shook his head and started in the opposite direction of them back towards his workshop but then stopped. Maybe he should go check up on her? He could make up some excuse for coming up. "Could say there was problems with the plumbing in the apartment near by, that isn't technically a lie, and I just needed to see if her apartment doesnt have any damage. Yeah that could work."

Karl continued his walk back to the shed to grab his tools, so he could at least look the part. He adjusted his hat and threw on his coat again before heading back out. The Iron Lord didn't know why he was so bothered, it really wasn't any of his business. However, he didn't like the way Hope looked with him and that bothered him more than he would like to admit.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Amazing!! Ok so I’m not sure how this would work, but maybe for the Mira x reader she could be xaden’s older sister or something who was best friends with Mira when they were younger (and maybe they had mutual secret feelings)

Ofc then the whole traitor thing ruined that and Mira didn’t want to associate with her anymore (friends to enemies to lovers anyone?) - though the canon time line might have to be altered😅

And then say if mira spoiler was somehow actually aware of the rebel base and that her brother was alive and she was aiding the rebels bc she’s cool

And reader just so happens to be stationed at the house etc, and they haven’t seen each other in years but mira’s immediately like damn she just got even more beautiful (in her head bc why would a sorrengail expose weakness)

Anyway I picture them as a kind of opposites attract trope, where reader is badass but in a more femme fatale way, where she takes people down because they don’t expect a pretty girl with good hair and style to be a threat you know? Or even if she is a talented healer or something like that!

Anyway, feel free to ignore all of this, I’m just so excited that you’re writing for fourth wing!!! I can’t wait to see what you come up with☺️

*wipes dust off this request* I apologize for taking so long... needed more pain from Iron Flame apparently to get to this... I hope this will find the person who requested it. ✨🤍

Interlinked

Mira's head was spinning. Too much. It was all too much. Too many things to bring to life... quite literally. She flew fearing for her sister. Only to find a whole rebellion clan squirming right beneath her nose. Then there was her brother who she had wept for years. Who's death had ripped the last bit of Mira's caring heart out. Burnt it with all the things that had belonged to Brennan. She had morn all of it. Over and over again blaming herself for it.

Mira had hit her older brother when she first saw him. She felt his nose brake right beneath her knuckles but nothing had prepared her for what appeared right behind him. Mira had staggered back. Her face paling of last bits of color. She quickly reached for a necklace she never took off. Two iron rings interlinked together. The part of her she had kept hidden away from everyone's praying eyes. "YN", she barely breathed out. Because there was no way. You too have died. Your name was on the scroll. Right after the fight you both had. Right after the next that hunted Mira even now. "No", Mira shook her head. "I'm alright", Brennon said even with the blood dripping through his palm, his good hand squeezing your arm. "Yn", Mira staggered forward but you backed away quickly. An ache in her heart only grew as you spoke, "I'm still dead to you, lieutenant", your words were like poison. Seeping deep into Mira's skin.

That had been a couple of weeks ago. Ever since you had done a marvelous job at avoiding Mira. She only caught a glimpse of you in some of the meetings. Saw you mounting your dragon. Or up in the sky. You were lethal. So graceful one would not expect such power to be rooted in you. But... but that was what had always drawn Mira to you. While you two were little she thought that her job was to protect you. How wrong had she been? It was you who Mira should have listened to. You who she shouldn't have rushed to judge.

Mira's body collided with another person right as she turned the corner. She reached to steady the frame in front of her but the moment her fingers brushed over the skin... Mira blinked as you came into her full vision. Wind-swept hair, rosy cheeks, still in your flying leathers. "Watch where you're going, Sorrengail", you huffed, turned to outstep her but Mira quickly caught your hand, "Y/n, you can't run from me forever", there was a light plea in her tone. One that you knew didn't come easy.

"I have nothing to say to you", you yanked your hand out of her grip. "I do", Mira breathed, "There hasn't been a day that I haven't been thinking of you", she breathed and you couldn't help but let out a bitter laugh, "Oh, please...". You turned to face her, "You said it yourself back then in the courtyard. I don't belong in your world". Guilt rippled through Mira. She had been so naive back then. Eager to play by the books. Knowing only black-and-white truths. Rebellion mark had been a deal breaker then but now...

"Don't bother with it, Sorrengail", you hissed, "Don't call me that, you never called me that", Mira stepped closer to you, her eye's blazing. "That was before you gave up on us", you were inches away from her, nearly reaching for the dagger. "Do it", Mira urged you, "Stab me, slit my throat, jab it into my heart, because it will never come close to the pain I felt when I made the biggest mistake in my life". You took a sharp breath in, you didn't want to show your emotions, but you knew that she had caught that glimpse of emotions that shined in your eyes.

Mira reached for the necklace beneath her flying leathers, "I never took it off", she shook her head, "I never let go of you". You bit the inside of your cheek, trying to not break. To not let the years of anger chip away so easily. But this was Mira. Your Mira. The girl you had fallen in love with slowly even if you two were painfully aware that you might never have a chance to truly be together. Your chest heaved as you two stood there staring at each other. Your hand moved towards your neck, tugging away the same two interlinked loops. A soft cry slipped through Mira's lips as his eyes landed on the familiar metal. One that she had made for you.

But the moment of hope lasted only for a heartbeat as you backed away from her, shaking your head, "This changes nothing", you said quietly. "We can try. Let me prove it to you", Mira pleaded, trying to reach for you. "Prove yourself to my people first", you said bitterly, before turning away and rushing up the stairs.

[pinknightsinmymind]

【 mascara - ellie williams 】

ellie williams x fem!reader

wc: 3.3k

content: angst, hurt-comfort, wife!reader, arguing, swearing, SPOILERS FOR TLOU2, mentions of death and grieving

summary: ellie returns from santa barabra, but she's not the same. you reminisce on how she used to be and where this all started in order to understand what got her to this point.

a/n: i was inspired by "mascara" by deftones to write this bc of the angstiness and moodiness i love angst its so delicious i want to eventually turn this into a full length fic that really fleshes out the whole story so lmk in the replies if you want to be on the taglist for that <333

Ellie had started to change the moment Joel passed away; there was no question about it. However, even after that shattering blow to the girl’s life, it didn’t completely destroy her. Not yet, at least. Joel’s death had fragmented her into pieces, but you could still see those pieces within her. Whenever you looked into those green eyes of hers, you saw her, and you knew she was still there. On the way to Seattle you could catch those glimpses of her every time you looked at her, and when your hands wrapped around her waist, the horse jostling you two as you journeyed, you felt her there. You felt Ellie. During and after Seattle, it was as if that small fragment of her that was left fractured in half. She had lost yet another piece of herself, and it was as if she had shrunk in size. Despite noticing this change, she was still your Ellie, and you’d do anything for her. You knew she was grieving, that she was going through a hard time, but you still did your best to comfort her.

You thought the distance and time would help, but the reality haunted her even in her sleep. Sometimes she had episodes and you’d find her screaming. It was hard to watch her go through this, but you still did everything you could for her. You were her wife, after all, and that’s what you were there for. Ellie had asked you to be her wife after things had calmed down from the Seattle trip. It had been at least a few weeks before she asked, and when she did you took it as a sign that maybe things would change for the better. She said that’s what she wanted. She wanted to change, to move forward, and for a while it seemed like they did. Yet the past continued to haunt her, and you saw the light in her eyes dim more and more.

The turning point was when Tommy meddled in your lives and told you both he had found Abby. You were angry with him for doing that, for disturbing your home, and for putting those thoughts in Ellie’s head again—but once it was done there was no undoing it. Once the cogs started turning you couldn’t stop them. Ellie was stubborn, and no amount of pleading was going to change her mind. She was just like her father. You stayed up late with her that night in an attempt to talk about it.

“Please, just think about this," you pleaded with her. “I need you. I need you here. With me. Don't do this again. We barely made it back last time.”

“And what about Joel? So she just gets to live and he doesn't?"

“Ellie, I miss Joel, too. I know how much he meant to you, but would he really want this? For you to abandon everything for her?”

“He'd want me… to finish what I started.”

“Goddammit, Ellie.” You didn’t know if it was the physical or mental exhaustion, but you were so tired. "Baby, please. Let's just go to bed." Ellie closed her eyes and let out a sigh. She nodded her head and grabbed your hand, leading you to your shared bedroom.

“Let's go to sleep, love,” she said quietly. A wave of relief washed over you as the two of you settled back into bed, her warmth comforting you as you slept. But that only lasted a few hours, because you woke up cold that next morning. You looked everywhere around the house, only to realize that she really had left anyway in the middle of the night.

At first you were angry. She lied to you and left you in the farm house all alone, even after the two of you talked it out. You felt betrayed. The two of you were supposed to be a married couple who worked together as a team, but it seemed she completely disregarded that. Your anger festered for a few hours until it was completely washed away by something else. Once the anger disappeared, it was replaced by fear and sadness. Ellie may have been tough, but she’d be completely on her own. Who knew when she’d come back, if ever, which is what scared you even more. You began to weep after that, the tears cleaning away whatever resentment had been growing initially.

After Santa Barbara is when you felt Ellie change completely. It was like the final piece of her left inside finally disintegrated and disappeared like dust on the wind. It seemed as if she lost herself completely in her mission and fell apart at the seams.

You stared in horror as you saw her coming up the steps. Her messily chopped hair was pasted to her forehead with sweat and Lord knows what else. The tank top she wore was dirty with grime and dried blood. She clutched her side and she walked slowly with a limp. The blood on her clothes seemed old because the only thing coating her skin was sweat and the occasional dirt. What happened out there? you thought. As much as you wanted to scold her, to cuss her out, to be angry with her, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Instead you rushed towards her and pulled her in. She was alive, and she had come back to you at last. She awkwardly wrapped her arms around you, but it felt almost reluctant as she grasped you weakly. You led her inside as fast as you could while she stayed silent. You questioned her as soon as the door slammed shut.

“Where are you hurt?”

“Everywhere,” she said. She didn’t seem to be in a talkative mood right now. You held her hands in yours and inspected her arms, finding a new bite on her and old cuts that were barely starting to heal. You eyed the tattoo of hers you knew so well, the one you’d trace with your hands whenever she held you. It was then that you noticed the two missing fingers on her left hand. How will she play her guitar? you thought. She just stood there as you looked at the old blood and dirt on her body, but the real horror was her side. She winced as your hands trailed down to the darkly stained side of her shirt. She lifted up her top and you saw the dirty bandages wrapped around what seemed to be a large wound.

“Do you want to take a shower?” you asked her. “Then I can take care of these?” She nodded. She walked away from you as if she was in a trance to the washroom. You started to pace around the house when you heard the water start to run. You didn't know what to say to her or what she was feeling. In fact, you couldn't read her at all, not anymore.

Ellie entered the downstairs area of the house in fresh clothes as soon as her shower ended. You hadn’t seen her around the house in months, and it felt almost foreign. It felt strange, almost like she was a guest. She took a seat at the dining table expectantly in front of the first aid kit you had taken out. You slid out one of the chairs and sat in front of her before beginning your work. You pulled up the green cotton shirt she wore and immediately sanitized the wound. Ellie grit her teeth and let out small hissing sounds here and there, but other than that she remained completely silent. Once you were done cleaning the wound you applied ointment and fresh gauze. The silence was killing you. This had been the girl you could talk to for hours about anything, who rattled off corny jokes, who would tell you all about space and her comic books. You didn’t know this quiet woman before you.

“I’m… glad you’re back,” you said in an attempt to fill the silence.

“You are?” she whispered. Her surprise caught you off guard and made your heart swell in pain.

“Of course I am.”

“I thought you’d be angry with me.”

“I was at first, but you getting home safe was more important to me.”

“You should hate me,” she said sadly. “You shouldn’t be this patient. I’m a piece of shit.”

“Don’t say that.” You finished wrapping up the bandages and started to clean up your supplies from the table. The silence hung in the air again, and you both knew why. The elephant in the room—the unanswered question: did she do it? After you finished cleaning the table you looked into those green eyes that you used to know so well. What happened to the light that used to be inside them? They used to feel like the sunlight that drifted into the forest, but now it was as if the sun had set and you traveled through a dark forest all alone.

“What are you thinking?” she asked. She was still as perceptive as always.

“Did—did you go through with it?” You fidgeted with your fingers nervously. You looked at her, and it was as if dark clouds gathered in her eyes.

“No.” You didn’t know why you were shocked, but you were. She hadn’t gone through with it? Why? What had happened in Santa Barbara? Yet, even despite all your shock, you don’t know what you would’ve thought if she did go through with it. “Can we go to sleep?”

“Yeah. Let’s go.” The two of you walked to your old bedroom awkwardly, but when you felt her next to you in bed, it was as if it all melted away. She pulled you in close to her, her arms wrapped tightly around your waist as she breathed in the scent of your clothes. She had missed this—missed you—but she didn’t know how to say that. She hoped you could tell by the way she held you.

Sleeping next to Ellie again brought two fears forward for you: one, that she’d wake up and leave again, and two, how bad her night terrors would be. Ellie stirred a few times in her sleep, speaking and moving around a bit, but no screaming. Your other fear didn’t come true, either, because when you woke up in the morning she was still holding you.

Ellie was a vision when you first laid eyes on her, and as much as she still is, she's different now. Something broken and dark has settled within her, and you don’t know what to do about it. The first few days she’s back home are awkward and quiet. You only spoke to each other when you needed to as the silence made itself the newest member of your family. While you stayed inside the house reading, cleaning every now and then, sleeping to pass the hours, Ellie stayed outside. She tinkered with things that needed fixing around the house, took care of the animals, watered the plants, anything to not be in the house. She would hardly look at you, and the only time she touched you was when she held you to go to sleep. It was like you didn’t exist. In some way you found that to be more painful than having to deal with her absence while she was away. You didn’t know what to do. You felt so hopeless and alone despite having Ellie back. She made you feel like an unwanted guest. She wouldn’t say anything about what happened either. The mystery of those events haunted you. You started having nightmares of all the things that could’ve possibly happened to her, each one more frightening than the next. However, what you wanted to know more than anything, was why she didn’t go through with it. She had made avenging Joel her life mission, and then she discarded it? Why? It’s not that you were disappointed and felt she needed to exact her revenge, you were just confused.

That night you had gone to bed earlier than usual as you stared up at the ceiling lost in thought. You heard her footsteps on the creaking floor before she entered the room, the covers rustling as she climbed in them and tried to pull you close. You pushed her hands away and turned around to face the other direction which seemed to confuse her.

“What’s wrong?” she said.

“Why won’t you talk to me?” you asked. “You won’t even look at me, and this is the only time you touch me. It makes me feel like a pathetic lost puppy just waiting for you.”

“Look, I’m just trying to sort through my thoughts.”

“And that justifies you ignoring me?”

“I’m going through a tough time right now,” she said defensively. You sat up in bed and faced the wall, staring at the chipping paint. You couldn’t believe her right now.

“You’re going through a tough time, Ellie? Really? You’re so fucking full of it.”

“It’s not my fault you’re so goddamn needy. What are you going through, [Y/N]? Huh? Tell me. What is it that’s going on in your perfect little life that’s so bad?” You whipped your head around to look at her.

“You left me in the middle of the night! You left without a goddamn word to hunt down Abby in another state for months. I never knew if I was gonna see you again while I was stuck here on the farm all alone.” You were so angry with her right now. You tried to be understanding, you tried to be there for her, but you could only do so much for a person who didn’t want to accept your kindness.

“That’s your fucking problem, [Y/N],” she spat venmously. You saw her eyebrows furrowed together, and that’s how you knew she was really angry.

“Yeah? What is it? Tell me since you know every-fucking-thing.”

“You are just a stupid lost puppy. You’re not as smart as you think you are and you have no backbone. If you were smart you would’ve left me the moment I disappeared.” You knew she was just saying that to hurt you and get under your skin. She used to do that in the past. This was her way of pushing you away: her favorite defense mechanism.

“I stayed because I love you, Ellie. I couldn’t just leave.”

“That’s your other problem,” she said. “Loving me is another mistake you made along with marrying me.”

“How could you say that?” you asked her. “I just want to be there for you but you don’t make it easy.”

“Because I don’t deserve your kindness. I don’t deserve any of it. Nothing. I’m a disgusting, awful human being and I have no place to expect anything from the world or you.”

“We’ve all done terrible things, Ellie.” You shook your head as you stared at her. Her cheeks were flushed from her rage, but more than anything she looked tired. It hurts you to see her like this. Who was she? Where was the girl you used to know? The reality of it all made you tear up.

“Not you,” she said. “You’re nothing like me. I don’t want to ruin you with how—how dirty my hands are.”

“You won’t.”

“You weren’t there. I don’t know who I was in Santa Barbara; Seattle was just the tip of the iceberg.”

“So why don’t you enlighten me then?” You were tired of the back and forth with her. You just wanted answers, and she slowly provided them. She told you about the Rattlers, about Abby, the fight, how she lost her fingers, all of it. When she got to telling you about the fight, that’s when she broke down.

“And I saw her there, carrying that kid, and she—she looked just like Joel. Goddammit, she looked just like him. All I could think about was how she probably looked the way Joel did when he protected me.” She wiped the tears away from her eyes, but they kept streaming down her cheeks. “And if I killed her? That fucking kid would just come after me. It would be endless.” She broke down into sobs, and it was then that you had enough. You scooted over and pulled her into your arms. She cried into your shoulder as you moved your hands through her hair.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay,” you said to her. “It’s okay. You did the right thing.”

“I know,” she sobbed. “I know. It’s what Joel would’ve wanted me to do. I miss him. I miss my dad.” She continued sobbing, her tears soaking up your shirt.

“I know, baby.”

“I just don’t want to lose you like everyone else. I just love you so much.”

“I know, honey, I love you, too.”

“Please tell me you forgive me. I want things to be the way they were before. I want to be the person you used to know. I know I’ve been so horrible.”

“I forgive you. I always do.”

“Marrying you was the best thing I ever did. I’m sorry I said those things.”

“You’ve always done that sort of thing as a defense mechanism. I saw through you, but you still pissed me off. You’re so hard headed, I bet you’re half-rock.”

“Shut up,” she laughed. “What would I do without you?”

“Be so hard-headed that you turn into an actual rock.”

“I’m gonna beat your ass.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m gonna get you some water, then we’re gonna go to sleep, okay?” You felt her nod her head against your shoulder before pulling away so you could get her water. You took a look at her face and saw how red and puffy her eyes were, but she was still so beautiful. You leaned in and placed a small kiss on her cheek. She closed her eyes and accepted the gesture before opening them as you pulled away. You went down the stairs carefully to the kitchen, grabbing the nearest glass and filling it with water. When you returned to the room you found her still sitting on the bed waiting for you. You handed her the glass, and she accepted it willingly. You slid into bed beside her and rested your head on her shoulder. This time she gave you a kiss on the top of your head.

“Come here,” she said, placing the glass on her bedside table. “I’ve missed you so much.” She pulled you into her arms quickly and ran her hands all over your body. “I love you. Always. I’m so sorry for the mean things I said. You’re so patient with me. I don’t know if I even deserve that.”

“I think you do.”

“I’m tired,” she said, then pulled you to lay down next to her.

“Hey!” you said in surprise. She held you so close like she never wanted to let you go. You shifted to try and lay down in a more comfortable position, but she just squeezed you even tighter.

“No. Don’t move. Just lay with me.”

“At least let me lay down comfortably.”

“Fine,” she said. She let you out of her arms just long enough to get comfortable before pulling you back in again. “Do you remember that night we had that dance in Jackson?” she asked.

“I do. How could I forget?” you replied. Your head may have been buried in her chest, listening to her steady heartbeat, but you could tell she was smiling.

“I thought about that night whenever I needed strength. It kept me going. It’s one of my best memories, and in that moment I knew I was gonna marry you one day.”

“You’re being quite romantic.”

“Happy wife, happy life,” she said. You laughed at that.

“Well, your wife wants to go to sleep now, so good night.”

“Good night,” she whispered, petting your hair to lull you to sleep. That night you slept better than you had in months.