#oh noooo how’d he get that scar???

[littlecrow4]

AAANNNNDDDDDDD HERE WE HAVE STAN IN MY MINDBUILD AU

He doesn’t change much from canon except a smaaalll detail!

SMALL DETAILS!

•New to Gravity Falls (ofc) currently working to find a way to get Ford back (is failing miserably)

•thinks Fiddleford is hopped up on drugs (his eye irks him)

•sad tired bisexual

The scar is to find out later!!

Not a lot of details on Stan because the deeper stuff comes later!! Stay Tuned~

[aclosetfan]

hi so like

“i saw this and thought of you immediately”

if you want to for any ship HDHDHDHDHD

@over-under-through1 Okay, so, I gave ya greens last time, and you said ANY ship, so I decided to give my rare pair some love. And it’s just sweet pure brain rot. Anyway, as always, thanks for the prompt!!! 

Prompt: “I saw this and thought of you immediately” from the prompt list of ways to say “I love you” without actually saying it 😊 that whole list makes me go soft. Pairing: brick/bubbles 

Word count: 4696// this was supposed to be a drabble :)))))

Summary: I’ve got nothing witty to say. Bubbles just gives our boy a gift and he almost hemorrhages. 

(Bubbles’ love language would totally be gift-giving based on how crafty she is, my love language is definitely NOT gift giving so I hope this isn’t horrible)

Brick licked chip crumbs from his fingers as he flipped through the tv. On the floor, next to the recliner he had deemed his for the afternoon, his journalism partner—one seemingly disgruntled Blossom Utonium—was busy organizing their project into five hundred million different tasks. She was dividing them evenly, and despite her warnings and threats, he had already resigned to do his two hundred and fifty million assigned mini-steps last minute like usual. It was the same song and dance they did for every project they were paired up for, which was incredibly often and, frankly, not by choice, though now, he supposed he'd be a bit insulted if she went and picked a new partner after everything they had been through together.

Investigative Journalism 302 was supposed to be another blowoff class he had decided to take solely for the credits. Still, when it became clear to the professor that Brick wasn't going to be taking their class seriously, they had gone out of their way to ruin his life and pair him with Blossom Utonium. Despite the good A-quality content they churned out, it had not been an easy go around the first few times they had been paired together. They were too similar and too different in all the worst ways. She was too type-A to his type-B, and they were both too stubborn to admit when they were wrong. But, him and Blossom both had a penchant for sticking their noses in places they shouldn't, so somewhere along the line—probably around the time they had broken into More Co. to follow a lead and diffused a hostage situation at the Mayor's Manor—they figured it was easier to be friends, not enemies.

They were chalking up to be Townsville's resident Sherlock and Watson, except they both fancied themselves Sherlock and the other Watson, but, eh, what relationship was perfect?    

This time around, they were investigating some strange chemical. The only lead they had come from Blossom's own father. He had apparently said something "cryptic" over Sunday brunch that had launched Blossom into overdrive. Eavesdropping on one of her old man's telephone conversations, she had listened to him mutter about the letter X, failed mutations, a strict deadline, and an explosion that may or may not have been the same explosion at the 'abandon' smelting factory two weeks ago.

She took the information personally since it involved her father, but Brick had met the man before and didn't think there was an evil bone in his body. The lab he worked for, though, was an entirely different story. H.I. Mechanics was one hundred different kinds of shady.

Three days from now, Blossom had decided that he would need to have the, again, two hundred and fifty million preliminary tasks done before their big stakeout. She’d be lucky if he decided to do three of them, but he entertained her ramblings anyway because the longer he stuck around her place, the longer he got to bum her cable.

That had become their routine. Meet at Blossom's place, let her rant like an anal madwoman, ignore her in favor of the reality trash tv that he loved but could not afford at his own apartment, and then have whatever painstakingly thought-out plan Blossom had concocted backfire on them in the near distant future. The process was like clockwork.

"—and if we go in at that time, really, why would they refuse us entry? The records we're looking for should technically be public record, though they're no doubt redacted. We're going to have to—you're not listening to me, are you?"

"Yeah," he hummed, more focused on the reality tv season wrap-up reunion he was watching, then whatever she was talking about, "that sounds good."

"So, you're not." She snipped, and the tone of her voice caught his attention.

"Huh?" He glanced at her for a moment before looking back at the tv, "Not what?

"Listening to me." She gave him a cross look, stepping in front of the tv, "You're not listening to me.

"Whaaa?" He tried sounding offended as he attempted to shoo her out of the way, "Noooo, what gave you that impression?"

"Listen," she snapped her fingers in front of his face a few times, and he felt his face scrunch up in distaste—he wasn't a dog, "both of my sisters are going to be home soon, and I don't want them to get mixed up in all of this, so we need to drill out the details of this plan before they get home!"

Blossom lived with her sisters—Buttercup, and Bubbles—in a two-bedroom apartment close to the University in downtown Townsville. All three went to TownU, which wasn't too surprising to Brick. It was an incredibly good school, and he'd admit all three of them were smart, but still, three for three had to be a little weird, right? And to think, people accused him and his brothers of being joined at the hips.

He gave her a dry look as she walked back to her spot on the carpet. "We both know that's not how this works."

Blossom slammed the book she had opened shut, "You're impossible."

"I think you meant to say consistent." He spared her one last glance before settling back into the recliner, "Really, Bloss, how in the world do you think you'd be able to keep this one from them? At this point, my brothers just assume I'm at the center of the mayhem."

She tsked, but the lack of argument was deafening. After a moment, she sighed, and her shoulders dropped, "I just don't want them to get hurt. Not like last time."

"Don't know what you're so worried about." He drawled, "I recall them saving us, not the other way around."

"And I recall the scar that's now running up and down Butters' back." She shot back, "This time, there will be no mess-ups."

"Yeah, wanna bet on—"

"Home!" Buttercup's voice rang throughout the apartment as the front door was slammed open and shut, "How we feeling about take-out—Oh, sup, Brick. You good with Chinese tonight?"

"We're working on school stuff!" Blossom exclaimed, scrambling to cover up the more elicit details of their ‘homework.'

Buttercup rolled her eyes, placing a hand on her hip, "I can tell. What's it this time, huh? Something normal or is there a bomb threatening to reactivate the volcano in Townsville Central Park that I should be made aware of?"

"It's norm—"

"—mutants." He interrupted Blossom, "The man funding your dad's company is sups sketch."

Buttercup shifted on her feet and crossed her arms, "Does this have to do with that Chemical-X stuff dad was talking about?"

"Don't you have a shower you should be taking?" Blossom huffed, glaring at the both of them, "You just finished a run, I can tell; you smell like a pig."

"That's what tipped you off?" Buttercup snorted, "Not the copious amount of sweat dripping down my face? Hey," she nodded her head at them, "ask me how my run went."

Together, he and Blossom rolled their eyes and sighed, "How'd your run—"

"Really well, wow, thanks for asking!" Buttercup smiled, "I beat my average, sooo think hard about what where you want to order from for dinner tonight. We're celebrating! I already texted Bubs," Buttercup stuck her tongue out at them, "she was much more enthusiastic."  

"Then celebrate with her," Blossom frowned from her spot on the floor, fingering the edges of her notebook, "we've got a lot to finish tonight. I don't think we'll have—"

"Yeah, yeah. Listen here, hero-girl," Buttercup scowled, hands back on her hips, "you still gotta eat. Ima take a shower, you have till then to put the spy shit away. Speaking of spy shit," her glare shifted to him, "your brother done fixing my car yet?"

"Ask him, babe." He sniffed, looking pointedly at the tv, "I ain't the middleman."

He suppressed the urge to bulk as Buttercup lifted him up off the recliner by the collar of his shirt. A dark smile snuck its way across her face as she leaned close into him, "Considering the fact that you owe me for getting it destroyed in the first place, baby, then I think you are."

"A lesson in forgiveness would do you well, but fine, I'll ask." He sneered back, unwillingly to show the dread that ran up his spine when he saw the look in her eyes, "You do realize, though, it'd be faster if you just called—"

"Nope!" She sang, dropping him back down in the seat, like nothing had just transpired between them, "If he wants my number, he has to ask for it!" She walked down the hall towards the bathroom, "I don't make the rules."

He scowled, watching her walk away before turning his head back to Blossom, "She's lucky I owe her."

"You're lucky," Buttercup called from down the hallway, "that I saved your sorry ass!"

Blossom snorted, and he shot her a dirty look, "Don't encourage her."

"Oh, be quiet," Blossom snickered, "just watch TV like you always do, and I'll put—"

"I'm home!" A high, singsong voice rang through the house, as the door was once again thrown open, and his heart palpitated without permission. He forced his eyes to focus on the tv, and if Blossom noticed how he sunk low into the recliner, she thankfully didn't say anything.

"In here!" Blossom called back, and from the corner of his eye, he watched as Bubbles stuck her head around the corner. Quickly, he turned his attention back to the tv and tried his best not to seem at all interested as she practically danced her way into the room. She was always practically dancing everywhere she went. It was annoying.

"Blossy, oh my god, you will not believe what—Brick!" She exclaimed, shoving a finger in his face when she noticed he was in the room, "Wai—Brick Jojo! Do not move from that spot!"

He blinked and looked around at the spot he had forged for himself in their living room. His bookbag, snack bags, disregarded textbooks, and his jacket littered the space around him, and his body had imprinted into the recliner's seat cushions, so when he looked back at Bubbles and gave her a dry look, he meant it when he said, "Yeah, wasn't planning on it."

He looked away quickly when she beamed at him. Her smile was bright, sweet, and dimply, and also very annoying. People couldn't always be so immovably happy, could they?

Bubbles giggled and did a little hoppy-dance before she calmed down and looked back at him, "Ahhh, okay!" She wagged a finger at him, "You stay! I've got a surpriiiisseee for you."

"Again," He huffed, ignoring all the less-than-innocent surprise scenarios his traitorous brain played through, "wasn't going anywhere."

"If you're not going anywhere, why don't you actually do some work while you wait." Blossom's voice bit through the air, but he ignored her, going back to flipping through the tv.

"Yeeepp," He popped, his tone no drier than hers, "wasn't planning on that either."

 Blossom mumbled to herself and looked at Bubbles, "Before you go, can you help me with these books? I'm putting them in my bedroom."

Bubbles held out her arms, moving around the recliner and out of his field of vision, "No prob-lamo, chica! What's this all for?"

"Don't worry about it." Blossom brushed Bubbles off, and her sister giggled again.

"What?" The blonde snorted, "Is there a bomb in the volcano?"

He could practically hear the way Blossom stiffened, "Why does everyone keep saying—do people think there's a bomb in the—"

"Blossom!" He groaned, "I'm fucking hungry, hurry up."

She hmphed and stomped out of the living room with Bubbles presumably following, so he relaxed in his seat, ready to blow out the deep breath he was holding when Bubbles' visage filled his vision.

Her smile crinkled the corners of her baby blue eyes, and the back of his neck instantly warmed at the proximity. He wasn't one for people invading his personal space, but Bubbles literally had no freaking concept of it. She was always shoving her face in his. So, unfortunately, Brick was very aware of the sun freckles that littered their way throughout her cheeks and it was particularly distressing because staring at her face made it easier to forget the No Touching Rule he was pretty adamant about people following.

"Stay." She reminded him; her tone tinged with lingering laughter. This close, she smelt like the physical embodiment of a bakery, and it took a significant amount of willpower to pull his eyes away from her.

"Whatever." He mumbled.

With another giggle—always with the dumb giggling—she was gone, and he was finally alone to collect himself. He pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered a string of particularly nasty curse words at himself. Objectively, he was well aware that Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup were…attractive, but he was never actually supposed to be attracted to any of them. They were the girls. They were just the girls. Ever since he had known them, they had been just the girls.

Blossom had a stick up her ass.

Buttercup could probably disembowel him.

And Bubbles giggled and smiled.

And it didn't matter if she giggled and smiled at him. Because she giggled and smiled at everything. She was one of those people, the kind of person that gave someone their undivided attention in a room full of people. She was good at making people feel good about themselves. She didn’t do it just for him. No see, if he was attracted to Bubbles, which he wasn't, it was because she was very good at making all people feel seen. So, he wasn't special. He wasn't. And it just—she would…he wasn't used to people just automatically assuming the good in him. People so optimistic tended to avoid him.

The positive attention was just making his head spin, making things confusing, and that was it. He wasn't one of those sad, lonely guys who mistook niceness for flirting. He had a clear head on his shoulders. It was just attention he was unused to. And it was a kind of attention he didn't need. Bubbles was just a nuisance. Her personality was too sweet. They were so different. Even if he did actually end up somehow magically liking her, it wouldn't work between them in a million years.

Besides, everyone already knew that pretty social butterflies didn't actually go for anti-social dweebs. Real-life wasn't an overdramatic coming-of-age rom-com. Realistically, she probably went for guys like Boomer.

He let out a shaky breath and turned up the volume on the tv. Some housewife was crying about something laughably petty, but he couldn't find it in himself to smile.

A second later, he nearly jumped out of his skin when a pair of hands clasped together over his eyes. He only relaxed when he heard Bubbles voice nice and warm next to his ear. "Peak-a-boo," she laughed, "guess who!"

He ignored the way her breath tickled his neck and frowned into the darkness, "A heart attack?"

"Oof, so close!" She snorted, releasing her hands from his face and leaning around the recliner, so he could see her smiling at him, "It's Bubbles!"

"Hello, Bubbles." He droned, not resisting the way his eyes rolled but fighting the way his mouth was trying to twitch into a smile.

"Ready for your surpriiisse!" She sang, walking around the chair so she could stand in front of him with her hands clasped behind her back. He pressed his way further into the recliner after their knees knocked together, distancing himself from her.

"As ready as I'll ever be." He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, "What is it?"

"It's a gift!" She rocked back and forth on the heels of her feet, still smiling.

"Okaayyy." He reached a hand out with grabby fingers, "Let's get this over with, give it here."

She tilted her head back and laughed, a real honest belly laugh, before she looked down at him again, and suddenly, he felt tiny under her gaze. "Oh, my goodness, Brick," She chided, "I'm not just gonna hand it to you! Close your eyes and hold out your hands!"

He adjusted the brim of his hat lower down his face and looked away, "I don't—"

"I said—" she repeated, reaching a hand out to pull his hat down completely over his eyes, "Close your eyes!"

"Fine." He hissed, trying to sound as grumpy as he was pretending to be and readjusted his hat as he shut his eyes, "They're closed. Happy?"

"Hold out your hands!"

He sighed but complied, and after a bit of shuffling on Bubbles' part, something small was placed in his hands.

"Okay," she announced, "now open your eyes!"

He opened his eyes and stared at the little…thing in his hands. He didn't know exactly what it was, but he figured it was some kind of fluffy…hat…keychain? He didn't know. He gave it a quizzical look before returning his stare to Bubbles.

"Ta-da!" she sang, accompanied by a pair of jazz hands, before she clapped them together, "Do you like it!"

"What…is it?"

There was a pause, and the smile on Bubbles's face fell away. "What is it!" She huffed, cheeks puffed out like an angry chipmunk, which was the worst angry face she could have because it just made her cuter, "It's a dog keychain!"

"This—" he held the keychain up for both of them to examine, "—is not a dog. It's a ball of fluff."

Bubbles' mouth dropped open, "It totally is! Look," she snatched it out of his hands, smooshing the fluff down so she could show off its' pointed ears, stubby little legs, and tail, "see! Puppy! A little Pomeranian! Baby puppy! Puppy, puppy, puppy!"

With something akin to bloodcurdling embarrassment pulsing through his veins, he watched as Bubbles continued to baby talk the offensive keychain, placing a tiny peck on its' small nose.

"And look!" She gushed, shoving it back into his face, "Look at its wittle red hat!" She squealed, bring it back to her so she could cuddle it to her face, "It's so cute I can't even!" Without warning, she dropped into his lap, which was around the same time his heart dropped into his stomach, "I saw it and thought of you immediately!"

He froze at the admission. He had never once thought of himself as someone who short-circuited very often, but people didn't compare him to a cute Pomeranian keychain very often either. In fact, he had been called a lot of things in his short lifespan—wiseass, smartass, punkass, there was a very consistent theme of derogatory titles thrown at him on the daily—but cute Pomeranian was not one of them. And, frankly, he couldn't say he was a fan.

"Are you comparing me to a Pomeranian?" He sneered, momentarily forgetting the fact that Bubbles Utonium was making herself comfortable on his lap, and he was neglecting to stop her.  

"Duh!" She said rather flippantly, pushing the brim of his hat up and off his face, so they could look at each other. Another definite no-no that he was too flabbergasted to address.

"I would not be a Pomeranian!" He argued when he collected his jaw off the ground.  

"Uhhh, yes, you would, lol." She argued back, playing with the fluffy little keychain in her hands. She kissed its face again, and in turn, his face only got hotter.

"Uhhhhhh," he mocked, "no, I wouldn't be."

She looked up from the keychain and gave him a somewhat patronizing look, "Yes, you would be."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

She laughed, "Brick, yes! You're just like a Pomeranian! You're super intelligent, curious, feisty, you like being the center of attention," she looked off for a second in thought, waving a hand in the air as she talked, "and you've definitely got some tiny dog syndrome in you."

He blinked at her, gaping, as his brain worked overload to find something to dispute in that analysis, but when he couldn't find any, he spat at her, "Why do you know all this shit about Pomeranians, huh?"

"They're one of my favorite breeds!" Her face lit up, "They're just so cute! I love them! And you remind me of them, so I got this for you!" She held the keychain up again, "It's so cute!"

His mind ground to a sudden halt as the words' cute' and 'love' and 'you' repeatedly echoed in his head. His heart hammered away in his chest, and in his panic, he contemplated throwing her off his lap and burning the whole apartment complex to the ground. What was one more arson charge on his record, anyway?  

"Bubs—stop saying…so what?" He asked, floundering before changing tactics. She wasn't the only one who could say embarrassing shit. "Does that mean you think I'm cute or something?" He flirted with a smirk, but it was only after the sentence left his mouth that he remembered Bubbles Utonium didn't get embarrassed. She smiled and giggled.

And that continued to ring turn even now, as she laughed, wrapping her arms around hia neck, she squeezed him. Only letting go of him slightly, to the bring the keychain up to his face, so she could bop the little dog’s nose and his nose together. "Of course!" She agreed, "Cute as a button!"

"N-no!" He sputtered.

"No," she pulled away from the crook of his neck, tilting her head in question, "what?"

"No," he sneered, "I'm not cute like a button."

She considered this for a second, tapping the keychain to her face, before shooting him a broad smile, "Handsome? Is that better?" Mirth tinkled in her big doe eyes, "You're our handsome boy?"

"That's worse!" He complained almost hysterically, running a frantic hand through his hair, knocking the hat he had somehow forgotten he had on from his head.  

"Aw, Brick, come on," She rolled her eyes, catching the hat before it fell to the ground and plopping it on her head, "what do you want me to say then?"

"The truth never hurt," He spat as if he hadn't lied through his teeth at least three different times this week to three professors that he couldn't attend class because his beloved family pet 'Insert Name Here' had died.

Bubbles pouted, "But I told you the truth! I think you're handsome!" She held up the keychain, and with a horribly fake and cheesy deep voice, she used the gift as a puppet, "You're the most handsomest boy in the whole world!"

She solidified her point by making the keychain kiss his nose once more before pulling back to gape at him, "Wow, see even Mr. Puppy agrees with me!"

"Oh, right," he shook his head, in mock agreement, "a handsome boy with little dog syndrome, right?"

"Well," she shrugged, waving him off, "I never said you were charming."

His retort was caught off with a giggle, and she made the keychain kiss his nose once, then twice, and then his breath hitched as a third wet kiss was planted on his cheek by Bubbles herself. She pulled back with a coy smile.

"Brick…" she hummed, trailing off, and something about her tone made him swallow thickly.

"Y-yeah." He finally pushed out after a moment.

"Can I play with your hair?" She asked, leaning forward, laying her head on his shoulder as she twirled a lock of his hair around her finger, and he swore his soul left his body. No one, absolutely no one, touched his hair. No one wore his hat. No one sat on his lap. And here she was. And here he was. And he wasn't stopping her like he should have been.

"Uhh, umm, I—uhh—"

"Bubs, jeez!"

He jumped, choking on his own spit, as Buttercup marched into the room, her hair still dripping wet.

"Seriously, personal space, you're making him uncomfortable." Buttercup huffed, one hand on her hip as he gestured to his face, which was probably redder than his hat.

"Uncomfy!" Bubbles shot up, and a guilty look flashed across her face as she took in his face, "Ah, shoot, sorry, is this too much?" She took her arms away from his neck and wrung her hands together, for the first time blushing, "I just get too excited sometimes! I have a lotta love in my heart, ya know?" She finished with a bashful chuckle.

The small distance between them actually made it a little easier to think again, but she didn't need to know that. Embarrassed by the noticeable flush of his face and his reaction to Buttercup catching them, Brick shrugged and looked away, "You're fine."

That was apparently not good enough for Bubbles because she pleaded again, "I'm sorry!"

"I said," he hissed, wishing she'd drop it, "you're fine!"

"I'm still so sorry!" Looking back over, he was surprised to see her lower lip wobbling, "I shouldn't have forgotten!" She put her hands on her face, squishing her cheeks, as tears began to well in her eyes, and he sent a frantic look over towards Buttercup, "I know you're not a hugger, I should have asked and—"

"—Bubs, he said he was fine." Buttercup interjected again, "Now, you're just making him uncomfortable all over!"  

Bubbles looked from Buttercup to him, back to Buttercup, and then finally to him once more. "You're fine?" She clarified, “This is okay?”

And all he could do was nod, "Yep."

Visibly relaxing, her eyes became less and less watery, and she shot him a relieved look.

"Sheesh." Buttercup mumbled and walked away, "zero to one hundred. Bloss!" She called out, "Come save your poor counterpart from the clutches of cuddly evil over here and let's order the food!"

"What!" Blossom called from her room down the hall.

With an exasperated huff on Buttercup’s part and something more frantic on his part, they both yelled out, "Food!" and there was a scoff from the bedrooms.

"No need to yell!" She shot back, "I'm coming!"

Buttercup shook her head before jabbing her thumb in the direction of their tiny kitchen and announced, "I'm getting the take-out menus."

Bubbles nodded and then, beamed when she noticed Blossom had walked into the room.

"Blossom! Look at this cute keychain I got for Brick!" She cooed, her eyes bright and excited again, which would have brought him some relief if she hadn't opened her big mouth and kept talking, "Doesn't it remind you of him? It's a Pomeranian!"

Face aflame once more, he snapped, "I'm not a Pomeranian!"

"Ho—ly shit!" Obnoxious laughter floated its way out of the kitchen that only made him grind his teeth, "He totally is!"  

"It's the little dog syndrome." Blossom agreed, flipping her hair over her shoulder and ignoring the crude gesture he shot her way as she walked past him towards the kitchen, "BC, let's order from Lee's!"

"No way!" Buttercup argued, "Pa Changs!"

He turned back to Bubbles, who, despite it all, had yet to remove herself from his lap. He was about to make some remark about him pushing her off of his lap in the next three seconds, but the way her eyes flinted over his face made him pause. When she realized she had been caught staring, she smiled once more, bright and beaming, and his heart did another funny little dance.

"You like it, right?" She tilted her head, holding the keychain up so it dangled between them, "I…I can take it back if you want."

Her smile fell the slightest of fractions along with his heart.

"No!" His hand shot out, taking hold of the keychain, "It's—I like it, whatever." He sniffed and turned his head away, "So quit the kicked puppy shit, alright?"

Another smile. Another giggle. It felt like a sick joke, but Brick was pretty sure he was falling in love.

-----------------------------------------------

A/N: That’s right! It seems the only way I can write romance is with a shit ton of pining!!!! To love is to long, I guess. It’s a little awkward in some places, but it was for fun, so I decided to cut myself some slack and post it anyway! I hope you like it!!! The pairing doesn’t get a lot of love, but I think opposites attract dynamic is so so so cute.

Also, sorry this took me forever! First, I got distracted looking at cute dog pics and then halfway through writing the drabble I was like “hey what if I stuck Blossom in this and she and Brick solved mysteries??” So, then I lived with that AU floating around in my head rent-free, and now, finally, here we are. ANYWAY, in this AU, Blossom is in a very sapphic relationship with Princess, who, along with HIM, is the main antagonist. The Professor is the damsel in distress btws. Brick and Bubbles are disgusting cute. Boomer’s gay, who for tho?? Who knows! Not me! But he’s a freelancer, who’s hardcore freeloading off of Brick and Butch, and that’s all you really need to know. Buttercup has big Mom Friend vibes. Also, Butch is a mechanic and playfully flirts with Buttercup, which she thinks is funny until he actually starts really flirting with her, and then she’s like “um, sir, I am a maiden???” b/c she is actually both shy and a prude. (And you know I like my greens) Anyway, el oh el, it’s a good time.

inspo for the keychain (and brick):

[mewmewchann]

Making assumptions on you based on your fave DFTH character

Beep boop

I saw someone doing this and thought it was funny so I gave it a shot As you can tell I kinda gave up near the end

(SPOILER WARNING FOR UP TO CHAPTER 3) (and also my terrible sense of humour)

Rantaro Amami

He was your fave in V3 and you thought he deserved better.

You were not prepared for the angst and despair he goes through.

You probably ship him with Haruto. Maybe Kokoro, Idk.

You either detest Jasper, or ship him with Jasper

*slamming table* RANTARO DESERVES BETTER

“I mean, I know that Rantaro and Tsumugi are the only shown survivors of the 52nd killing game, but there just HAS to be more survivors! The writer can’t be sadistic enough to let Rantaro suffer THAT much! Right?...Right?”

~~~

Kokoro Hikari

Oh hello Chiaki and/or Kaede stan

(insert various fan theories here)

No matter what fangan or mainline game you get into, your favourite character is always the sidekick.

You think she’s cute. Idol aesthetic is nice.

You cried with her in chapter 3 when Amai died.

You probably ship her with Rantaro.

You also probably have a billion theories on how she either isn’t the Ultimate Lucky Student or isn’t who she says she is.

You either liked Sayaka Maizono, or hated Sayaka Maizono.

You DEFINITELY relate to her obvious pining crush on Rantaro. Who WOULDN’T love this beautiful man

~~~

Jasper Shion

Hello ell gee bee tee cue community

No matter what fangan or mainline game you get into, your favourite character is always the antag.

(insert even more fan theories here)

You find his twisted personality endearing. How’d he end up this way? Nobody knowssss

You either like Nagito and Ouma, or HATE Nagito and Ouma.

You probably had a heart attack when the perspective switch in chapter 3 happened.

You either ship him with Miko or Rantaro.

You’re probably in the midst of piecing together a fan-theory of what the hell his backstory is from what we’ve learned. (abusive family, ran away from home, something something cousin something something)

Oh and speaking of which,

WHO THE F U C K IS HIS COUSIN

~~~

Tsumugi Shirogane

“Wait, why does she look and act different?”

You’ve probably written out a fan theory on how she somehow isn’t the mastermind.

Idk what else to put here

~~~

Haruto Sora

You’re a theatre kid. ...No, no punchline. You’re a theatre kid.

THERE’S NOOOO BUSINESS LIKE SHOOOOOW BUSINESS LIKE NOOOO BUSINESS I KNOOOOOOW

You either fell in love with him in chapter 1 or in chapter 2.

You ship him with either Rantaro or Sachiko.

Your fave in V3 was probably Kaito.

You probably listened to Rent at some point.

~~~

Sachiko Akahana

Oh hello Maki stan

You’re a sucker for badass women who can kick your ass.

You’re probably interested in her backstory. (in that art where her torso is kinda exposed she has scars on her chest? Where did they come from???)

You probably ship her with Haruto.

Adding onto that, you either shipped Kaimaki in V3, or hated Kaimaki in V3 because of how unrealisticly it progressed and think Haruchiko does it better.

~~~

Miko Tsunade

You want to give him a hug

No matter what fangan or mainline game you get into, your favourite character is always the precious cinnamon roll.

You find his naivete and general mannerisms cute.

You almost definitely ship him with Ayano.

You DEFINITELY cried with him in chapter 3.

You’re interested in his backstory, but you don’t want to push.

BUT SERIOUSLY WHAT THE F U C K HAPPENED TO HIS PARENTS

~~~

Kaoru Odayaka

“Aw c’mon, the cinnamon bun HAS to live until at least chapter 4! Right?...Ri-”

You cried a lot in chapter 1.

You hate Saiko because of both the way he killed him, and why he killed him.

You think he deserved better and needed more screentime.

You want to give him a hug

~~~

Saiko Aishi

You thought he was gonna be the Kirigiri, didn’t you?

Eh whatever he’s still cool

You cried a lot in chapter 1.

“There HAS to be another reason he killed Kaoru! He couldn’t have just killed him for a selfish reason, right?...Right?......Ri-”

Either you actually like him, or you like how he’s written and if you met him irl you’d punch him in the face.

~~~

Yuuma Todoroki

Hello Chihiro stan

You’ve been pushing for “Yuuma best girl” ever since chapter 2 happened.

You either didn’t see the chapter 2 twist coming, or saw it coming and loved her anyway.

You either love Rikona or hate Rikona.

You want to kill Carmine. Don’t worry, all of us do.

You just wanna see her happy ^v^

~~~

Rikona Fumiko

I’m not sure if you’re a lesbian, but you probably want a tsundere girlfriend.

No matter what fangan or mainline game you get into, your favourite character is always the short girl.

You liked her despite the whole “peasant” thing before chapter 2.

“Oh shit she actually has a pretty dark backstory”

You either like Hiyoko or hate Hiyoko.

You probably ship her with Yuuma.

~~~

Amai Akuma

Hello aspec community

You’re an Ibuki stan.

You probably also do digital art and like her because of that.

You think her friendship with Kokoro is cute and that it needed more screentime.

You don’t like Ayano.

~~~

Ahmya Aika

Hello aspec and/or arospec community

You like underrated characters who need more screentime.

“She literally lost an EYE HOW IS SHE OKAY WITH THIS”

You most likely have a similar dry sarcastic sense of humour to her.

Okay, you definitely hate Ayano.

~~~

Ayano Sunako

Sleepy anime girls are best anime girls.

“Oh shit she also has a pretty dark backstory”

You probably also have a fucked-up sleep schedule and relate to her on that.

You either loved chapter 3, or HATED chapter 3.

You DEFINITELY ship her with Miko.

[lordxgrinnyxboy]

listening to the london version, 3/4

a scar is born!

“Grinpayne? Grinpayne?!” Dea...when you find him...kill him.

“something is scorching the air ‘round my head” it’s your thots gwyn weren’t you paying attention

“Is this the truth? Is this the truth, now?” first of all Excellent Vibes but also can we get some Gwynplaine Trelaw + If It’s True in the club? Especially the Justin Vernon If It’s True? i yearn

i love osric. so much.

haha funny how he says he thinks Gwyn is “the only son of God” and Gwyn is fact the only son of Lord Trelaw. could go further but im low on braincells u-u

...this whole sequence is so weird.

“Is this the truth? Is this the truth, now?”   please just go lie down sweetheart you are too far gone right now.

“This exquisite boy” awwwww

i’m missing about 90% of what they’re saying actually

*googles lyrics* oh

the tonal dissonance between the way they sing it all cheerful and the fact that This Is Freaking Creepy As Hell with a side of Really Really Sad is just. :O

labyrinth

alright darling let’s see what you’ve got

The Good Stuff Right There

Theremin = Good

interesting he says “something in me is burning” and, at least in the bristol version, Dea makes comments about the Crimson Lethe ‘burning a hole’ in Gwyn’s heart

In the other one he didn’t really comment much about...anything that was going on, really. He’s just kind of there during the scenes where people react to his wound. But here he has a whole verse about it and that’s...different.

“The people say the Grinning Man’s opened their eyes/can they hear the future in my shattered cries” OOF

“Why in hell would I want to feel it again?”

“what if that monster could also change me” 😭😭😭 i am. *snort* vanquished. i cease to be, to live.

PROTECT HIM

are the ‘scorching’ thoughts supposed to be taken literally in this one i mean they keep bringing it up soooo

oh here we go here we go the Dea part let’s go

“and pain, the only comfort I could find” BABY

“Stories are her way of seeing” god i love this part

BUT SHE WOULDN’T LOVE ME IF HER EYES COULD SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUEH

go off theremin! love you!

“If they find laughter in my face, why should I run from their embrace?” HECK

“The dancing with the monsters in my mind” HECK HECK

“and touch it with a heart that isn’t blind” GWYNLIT FERMAIN TRECHARLIE CLANLAW YOU HUSH NOW

side effects of crimson lethe may include dumbass disease

he flourished the R XD

“FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEUH”

i am. exhausted. this one can stay. how’d they fit so much more content in this one

Only a Clown

we’re. going from THAT, to- to th- okay

dambit barkilphedrno

“in truth, I felt like singing, so I did” cartoon villain u-u

this is another deeply unsettling one tbh like just the happy way he’s singing but while setting up the nooses and whatnot it’s just eugh

wait so earlier Gwyn says, “can they hear the future in my shattered cries” and here Barkilphedro says that he can “see a bold new horizon”

“imagine the blade of bilboa in your hand” *Legend of Zelda Link Impersonation* Gwynlit what are you doing

oh sh the “NOOOO” and “FATHER” in this one we actually HEAR the reactions? oh heck heck heck

*adds Tiny, Wretched, and Helpless to the ongoing list of things Gwyn has been called*

OH THIS ONE SLAPS they made a whole bop out of

awww he cryin in the background :((((

damn it bark il phed ro

oh heck this is creepier

FRICK SPIKE IS HERE THIS TIME WHAT TH

is spike still played by dirry-moir’s actor in this one too bc That Is A LOT

one small slice bitch you dragged him on that scythe three freaking times

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICIN

SHUT UP SHUT UP STOP PAUSE RIGHT THERE NOPE NUH UH NOT TODAY

brand new world of feeling ( reprise )

hello i am grateful to be here. what a fabulous place to find myself. that is, anywhere but the above. 

u-u Gwyn Makes Bad Choices: The Movie

Josiana CALM DOWN jeez you’re gonna scare somebody

oh yeah she definitely said Freak in this version.

“Love?” see now you’re asking the right questions 

no longer grateful to be here

music’s pretty though

wait no where’s the guard when i need them to show up

THANK YOU QUAKE, THANK YOU.

“Did this brute hurt you” *lizard impersonation* “quite the opposite” i’m going to go climb into my mailbox and die there. Why This. Genuinely Why This.

“The torture chamber, not the nightclub” EXCUSE? PARDON? WHAT?

Josiana i genuinely hate that u can sing like an angel it isn’t fair

the smiling song

what is a smiling song precious we are Not Familiar

ohhhhh nvm this is the “have him hold the giant puppet head and get everybody to surround him so the audience won’t see him putting on a shirt” song

who the hell is this

angelica???

DEA TAKE ME BACK TO THE PLACE

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Call him freak one more time Jojo. Call him freak again.

“I can’t believe that filth-ridden clown soon will be wearing my velvet gown” it’s funny Bark bc Gwynp could actually say the same thing,,,,,

THE DAY I WAS ALMOST A LOOOOOOOORD not as good

something something “Josiana, what did she see, could I see Dea the way she saw me” W H A T

so is he like. awake. in this version or.

[myimmortalstalker]

Chapter 33

“oh my fuking god!1” I shooted sadly. “Shud we get u to Doc, bitch?”

“Hel no!” he said. “Lizzen Stretlok, I need ur help. Nex tim u go bak in tim, do u fink u kod ask Mitka Dynamite 4 sum help?”

“Sure I said sadly. I went outside the door. Scar was there!111 He wuz wearing a big blak stolker suit which wuz his trench coat.

“Hey Sexxy.” I said.

“How’d it go Stelok?” he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like a snork’s growl when they attack.

“Fine.” I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da bar.

“How far did u go wif Slutan?” Scar asked jealously.

“Not 2 far, lol.” I borked.

“Will you hav to do it with him?” Scar asked angstily.

“I hop not 2 far!111” I shouted angrily. Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him. I said sorry. We frenched.

“What happened to Termo?” I growled.

“U will see.” Scar giggled mistressly. He opened a door… … Termo and Loocash werz there!11  Vermin waz pokering dem by staging dem wif a blak nife.

“NOOOO PLZ!111” Lookaz bagged as Vornin started 2 suk his blood. I laffed statistically. I tok some photons of him and Termo bing torqued. (ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r pervs nd Termo trid 2 rap dem and newat sadiztz rok haz any 1 seen srhak arak 3 lolz). We took sum of Temro’s blod den Scare and I went bak 2 our warehouz. We sato n my goffik blak bedroll. My cloves were kinda drity so I poto n a blak leather outfit fingie like da 1 bnadits use (if u haven’t herd of it den FUK U!111). I puto n some blak combat bootz. Skar put on “squat party”  by Gopnik McBlyat. Den… … … we storted 2 take of each otherz clozez. I tok of his shit nd he had a six-pak, lolz. We started 2 mak out lik always. He pot his wetness in my u-know-what sexily. I gut an orgy.

“Oh Scar!11111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Scar!111” I screemed passively as he gota n eructation.

“I luv u SteTretlok.” he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol.

[some-inconspicuous-human]

Watching Supernatural Season 13 Episode 9 - The Bad Place

Warning: Spoiler Alert

And a special thanks in advance to all of the wonderful GIFs I'm gonna use from my search results. I've tagged the owners upon using it.

Wait. Isn't that Missouri's granddaughter? Patience, right?

I know I've said this before, and I'm gonna say it again. It was really nice of Jody to do that...

Poor Mary. Luci came back without her!!! And poor lil' Jack..

Hmmm... These guys romancing in there are gonna get killed, aren't they?

*bell sings*

Me: don't open the door don't open the door JACK??!!!!!!! 😱

Dresswalker? What's that?

Jack, honey, how'd you get that money?

Isn't it that place? Where Mary is?

Oh noo.. Is he gonna die?

Jack STOP!!!!!!!

Holy !!!!!!!!!!!! I knew he was gonna end up dead!!!

Jack what did you do... 😨🤦

Oh! Dean needs Patience's help now... He must be getting desperate

Cas? Isn't he locked up? Curse Asmodeus and his stupid party tricks!!!

Jody... That's bad news...

Patience... You... Are lying. She definitely has visions

Sam n Dean are here...

And they found the art...

Kill him? No... 😨

There's another? Kaia..? Is that her?

Wow! She has sass. I like her already 😀

Scars... In her hands...

What is she talking about?

I don't think she was speaking metaphorically...

Jack?

Why are they giving him that scary bgm?!!! 😨

I like cocaine? This was where that GIF by @empty-cass came from?!!! To be honest, I was reminded of that too... 😁

Oh dear... Kaia should be running right about now...

Derek? I don't remember him telling you anything. Don't lie Jack!!

No no no no no don't follow him Kaia!!!

Thank Chuck Baby's here!!!

Poor Kaia... I think I'll adopt her. The poor girl need some love... Before she ends up getting killed!!!

Jack!!! Just like that?!!!

This is exactly what Cas used to do.

You're not the only one with powers. Was that supposed to put her at case, Jack? Because it doesn't.

Jack DON'T!!!

Sam and Dean! Finally!!!

That Kaia know how to escape!!!

You were gonna kill her too, Jack?

Jack didn't know Derek was dead?

Mary!!! Oh Jack!!! 😢

Isn't that the thing in which otherworld!Micheal kept our Lucifer?

Oh no Mary!!!! 😨😨😨😨😨😨

Dean...

Angels?

Patience... What was all that about?

Cocaine boy?

You guys did that to that guy and and made us think that poor little Jack did it!!!

Kaia is your bait now? 😡😡😡😡

Dean, don't...

I have a feeling that it isn't gonna end well...

Jack...

Jack : You, Castiel... You're my family

Poor baby I'm sooo sorry I doubted you...

Jack is smiling again at Dean's praise 😊

And Sam looks a bit teary eyed...

Angel radio... Of course they'd do that

Patience is going to help them?

Please let her come back home safe...

I have a really bad feeling about this...

James, don't say that to your daughter. That's what John said when Sam wanted to go to college... Repeating history never ends well in this show...

Kaia, don't say that about yourself...

Of course you don't matter? You take that back you feather-burned uncultured swine from the clouds!!!

I am home. YES!!! You tell them honey

😱😱😱😱😱😱

Kaia, honey, stay with them... Please...

They only wanted me because of you... She has a point.

Oh honey... 😞

That was how she got those scars!!! Poor girl 😢

Dean!!!! Please don't

No... That's not good...

No matter what is no excuse for that Dean... She's gonna end up dead, or worse... I just know it... And Dean can drown in his own guilt. Again.

The way Jack talks to Kaia, it's just like Sam... Warm, reassuring and convincing...

I wonder what he showed her...

Oh c**p, indeed

Shipyard?

I don't think running will help

You know "angels", if you want something, you could try asking politely for help and not pull a basic overambitious-greedy-white-men move from history 😡😡😡😡😡

Jack: We'll be fine

Dean: We're screwed

🤦

What are those scary feathered ones doing there?

You know what, if I didn't know how many episodes were there or another season was coming up, I would've said that they are all gonna die right about now... (Perks of being one season behind the actual show 😉

Oh noooo!!! The warding!!!

We go out guns blazing? No. Please be safe... 😨

Atleast you apologized, Dean...

Kaia changed her mind!!!

Sam: What if something goes wrong?

Dean: Something already is going wrong!

Hurry up guys!!!

Wait. This doesn't look like that... They were supposed to go to that colourless place. This place is blue and green.. Yeah they found it!!! They did it!!! THEY DID IT!!!!

Jody? Patience? Did those angels die? Those are their wings, right?

Kaia? Then where are Sam and Dean and Jack? Wait, if Jack is near Mary, then where are Sam and Dean? What? They're in that blue-and-green place? Are they standing in... Yeah they are. And there's probably Godzilla in there. No wonder Kaia called it the bad place!!! You can see it in this GIF by @jensen-jay

Alright. Those guys are definitely screwed!!! How are they even gonna get out of there? Even the skeletons there that they showed earlier looked big and bad...

[taaroko]

Post-IW MCU Rewatch: Captain America: Civil War

Time for a bunch of in-fighting!

Was there any significance to those code words?

Howard and Maria. :(

Freaking Runlow.

I read something about how they’re all being very bad at undercover, sitting around in sunglasses and hats. They’re being like actors undercover from paparazzi, not low-profile spies. Whoops.

Runlow’s team is kinda lucky the rubble from that crash didn’t block their entrance.

This is some top notch fighting from both Cap and Sam. Sam’s wings are super versatile.

Whee, Steve getting a telekinetic boost from Wanda!

Ohh, it’s Nat who used the motorcycle as a projectile in this one. Okay. I thought it happened at least twice.

Heeeey Cap’s shield is half covered in soot. Symbolism.

FREAKING RUNLOW.

That blast was either going to kill everyone in the square or the people in that building. If it had been the former, it wouldn’t have been a big international crisis.

Aged-down Tony is easily the best of that kind of special effect we’ve ever seen. *suppresses memories of CG Leia*

I think that seminar was the first we've seen of the "philanthropist" part of billionaire genius playboy philanthropist. (Donating a collection of modern art to the Boy Scouts is too weird to count.)

Hi Dean Pelton.

Awkward actress recycling! But it was worth it. She’s so good as Mariah.

Vision’s social graces are so funny.

Uggggggh General Ross. Who is now Secretary of State.

Man that footage would’ve made Bruce so sad.

“For the last four years, you’ve operated with unlimited power and no supervision.” Wait does that mean it’s been four years since Winter Soldier? This timeline is a freaking mess.

I know where Thor and Banner are!

Okay, Zimo talks about painstakingly decrypting the Hydra files Nat leaked on the internet, but did he start doing that before Ultron or after? How long has it been since Ultron?

Tony’s face.

What makes this movie so good is that both Tony and Steve have very good points and multiple movies of backstory that brought them to those positions. The Tony of IM1 would’ve been anti-Accords, and the Steve from the ‘40s would’ve been pro-Accords, but here they are now. And the Accords were very inevitable after Ultron.

Noooo Peggy.

Headcanon: the non-Steve pall-bearers were Peggy’s son and grandsons.

“Plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye, and say ‘No. You move.’”

I love that Nat’s priority is sticking together as a team, but she does get Steve’s position. (I mean obviously; she defects to his team halfway through.) Steve’s friendships with Nat and Sam are so wonderful.

Hey T’Challa!

Does the actor who plays T’Chaka have a glass eye? *internet research* Holy crap, he does. This is from John Kani’s IMDB page: Kani lost his left eye during a beating by South African police after returning home from a Broadway production of "Sizwe Banzi Is Dead", which was critical of Apartheid. He survived after being left for dead and subsequently won a 1975 Tony Award for his performance.

They did a really good job introducing T’Challa, and his arc in this movie is excellent.

Dangit Steve and Sharon would’ve kissed if Sam hadn’t interrupted.

More hats and sunglasses. You guys look real suspicious wearing hats and sunglasses INDOORS, especially when you start passing files around.

Man, Bucky just wants to buy some plums. Also, so cool that Seb got to go home to Romania and speak his native language for this bit.

Isn’t it easier to shoot out the lock than all three sets of hinges?

Bucky just came here to buy some plums and honestly he’s feeling so attacked right now.

So much multi-storey falling! I know these guys are all tougher than normal people but it’s still very stressful to watch!

These movies are always doing ridiculously cool things with motorcycles.

Rhodey makes a pretty good enforcer.

Vis and Wanda are adorable. But the conversation about the Mind Stone is really painful now.

The heck?! Tony thinks Wanda is unstable enough to cause another “incident” just by going to the store? Do Tony and Wanda still dislike each other or something? I guess they never reconciled over the whole thing where his tech killed her parents and she used her powers against him.

A fancy pen is not a convincing argument, Tony.

Steve was so ready to be thrilled for Tony if he and Pepper were gonna have a baby!

Tony just called Wanda a weapon of mass destruction. Either he’s playing devil’s advocate or he’s being really unsympathetic right now.

Bucky! Plug your ears and go LALALALALA!

I like how every time someone does the sleeper activation codes, he walks around Bucky in a circle. Is that part of it or just a cool filming thing?

Aaaaargh that elevator shaft fall.

Tony’s face when Bucky fires his gun into his glove.

Nat’s signature move is useless against Bucky.

RECOGNIZE YOU FROM WHEN?! The mission he foiled, or something else? I must know. Please answer this question, Black Widow movie.

Okay. The helicopter thing. It does not make sense. It should’ve just lifted Steve right off the ground. It is capable of carrying several passengers. One dude hanging onto it when there’s only a single occupant would not weigh it down. The part where he holds onto the railing and keeps it from flying away does work, though.

Heeeeey the scene with Bucky’s arm in the clamp is the exact midpoint of the movie. I don’t know why I find that interesting, but suddenly I very much want to analyze the significance of these moments. This one is a major turning point. The revelation of other Winter Soldiers. Team Cap now has an urgent mission.

Tony has an arc reactor scar!

HI PETER! *hug attacks him*

I love every single second of Peter’s intro scene.

“It’s a long story. I was—” “Lordy! Can you even see in these!” Bahaha, Tony cut off even a conversation of origin story.

Okay, the moment Tony leaned forward while Peter was talking obliquely about great power and responsibility. That was when he became emotionally invested in this kid. They’re both motivated by a sense of guilt and obligation.

Wanda and Clint’s methods for getting past Vision makes their team lose a bit of high ground.

Steve and Sharon’s kiss could’ve been handled less like an afterthought, but the reason I’m still cool with it is Sam and Bucky’s reactions.

How’d these three big dudes end up in a little VW Beetle anyway?

Hahaha, each team has a fanboy on it. Scott on Team Cap and Peter on Team Iron Man.

“Thinks for thanking of me!”

Yessss. Airport fight.

Um, why did Tony not even pause when Cap mentioned the other five Winter Soldiers?

Oh Peter I love you so much. And I love that Tom has this rivalry with Anthony and Seb in all the behind the scenes stuff.

“He also said I should go for your legs.” Man this is almost a vine reference.

Scott in Tony’s suit is hilarious.

Scott’s reaction to becoming Giant-Man is probably the single greatest two seconds in the movie.

Man, Clint just wants to make new friends, but T’Challa isn’t interested in this Avenger nonsense.

More tasing!

100%, Peter is trolling these geezers by pretending he’s not a gigantic Star Wars nerd.

It took me several watches to realize that when Scott says “Does anyone have any orange slices,” he’s making a reference to little league sports, and how the moms bring orange slices for after the games.

Tony went to check on Peter even though they hadn’t caught Steve and Bucky yet!

Rhodey’s fall is horrific. And the way they frame it so that you only see the ground when he hits it. Agonizing.

Part of me thinks Rhodey should’ve died right there, but there is rather a lot of precedent for falls not being fatal if you’re in an Iron Man suit. And if he’d died, I don’t think they ever would’ve been able to get past this split. Getting kinda paralyzed is an acceptable compromise.

“Are you incapable of letting go of your ego for one goddamn second?” Okay that is a really interesting line. Tony is being pretty egotistical about the concept of surrendering accountability to the UN. He has been rather bad at considering alternatives. Admittedly, he’s on the clock, and then worse people will go after his friends, but he’s allowing for zero nuance here. He knows these people. He knows they don’t do things without good reasons. Steve was right that you can’t let accidents stop you from doing the right thing. Tony is letting it cripple him.

Tony is practically on Team Cap at this point, with the secretly flying after him and all.

Hahaha, Nat has a labeled gun rack. And Bucky is using her guns!

I’m freaking pissed at the trailer for this movie. It would have been a very good twist that instead of going to Siberia to fight five more Winter Soldiers, they were walking into a trap where the in-fighting was about to become far more personal. But I didn’t get to experience that twist, because the trailer includes shots of Tony fighting Bucky and Steve in this location. That trailer made me stop watching trailers entirely for over a year. I do think trailers can be good so you know at least the type of movie you’re about to see, but they should not give away stuff like this. I think Marvel has gotten better at that since then.

Okay, so it’s been over a year since Ultron.

Green is not a flaw in blue eyes, jerk. It’s cool.

Surveillance cameras don’t usually have sound. But oh boy this is devastating.

This moment. Tony coming apart and attacking Bucky. This is exactly the same thing that Peter Quill does to Thanos. This is the reason Tony figures out what Peter’s about to do before he does it and tries to get him to stop and think. But he knows pretty well that there’s no stopping and thinking in a situation like this.

Zimo is a lot like Frank Castle, except that his family died as accidental collateral damage, not a targeted setup.

“The living are not done with you yet.” Such a great line.

“I could do this all day.” Tony has taken the role of the bully from the first one now.

I think for a second, Tony was legit afraid Steve was going to kill him. But Steve was never the one driven to that point. This still does not count as Steve having a dark side.

Okay, Steve dropping the shield was pretty much a concession. You don’t want me using the shield your dad made if my best friend killed him? Fair enough.

TONY STANK.

Tony trolling Secretary Ross will never stop being funny.

Okay, on the whole, while I sympathize more with Cap, I think I’m actually on Team Iron Man when it comes to the Accords. The Accords are an overcorrection of long-running problem. There should have been oversight this entire time, and I think the idea is that SHIELD was that oversight until Winter Soldier. Steve didn’t want to be the dupe of a corrupt system again, so he no longer tolerated oversight, but that really can’t be his call. How transparent are the Avengers being about their missions? He doesn’t run around saving people from street thugs, he does military-style operations all around the world. That’s not the kind of thing anyone should be able to make unilateral decisions about. He’s doing what Tony used to do in his solo films. But now that the PR has gotten bad enough and the novelty of superheroes has worn off, suddenly everyone realizes it’s not a great plan to let them run around unsupervised.

But Cap’s side of the argument is valid too. Superheroes save the world. Collateral damage is a much better outcome than what would’ve happened if they hadn’t been there. Obadiah would’ve continued supplying both sides of conflicts in the Middle East, stoking the fires of war for his own gain. Red Skull would’ve blown up most of the major cities in the US and taken over. Killian would’ve had the world on its knees with his scam. Malekith would’ve destroyed all the nine realms. Loki would’ve taken Earth. Hydra would’ve wiped out anyone who could challenge their reign of terror with Project Insight. Etc. Some of the villains rose up as consequences of the heroes (Ivan, Ultron, and Zimo, for instance), but most of the threats exist independent of the heroes’ actions, which is why we need heroes.

After how much I’ve loved Tony in all the movies so far (though he was a bit iffy in Ultron), I was really surprised by how many moments he has of being kind of a jerk in Civil War. But it doesn’t make me dislike him. This is his guilt complex on overdrive. And losing it over finding out about how his parents died is heartbreaking. But the most redeeming thing for him in the movie is Peter Parker. He recognized a similar guilt-based motivation in Peter while they talked, and in that moment, he became extremely protective of this kid. He brings him in because he knows he’s got a really handy method of incapacitating people without harming them. He’s not recklessly endangering a child, because he knows none of the Avengers will use lethal force. And his concern for Peter’s well-being is actually what costs him victory in the airport fight. He could’ve apprehended Steve and Bucky, but instead he had to make sure Peter was okay.

So...if Thor and Bruce had been in this. Thor wouldn’t be cool with being beholden to Midgardian governments. He cooperates as a courtesy, but he doesn’t actually answer to Earth authority. And I’m pretty sure he’d be very sympathetic to Steve about Bucky, given that it’s a rather similar situation to him and Loki. Bruce, on the other hand, has never felt confident about his ability to stay in control, and he was a major source of collateral damage in multiple countries in Ultron, not to mention the extra footage Ross showed the team. He’d probably think Bucky needs to be under guard for the same reason. I think he’d not only side with Tony but be relieved that Tony was on the side of the Accords. However, you really can’t have two powerhouses like Thor and Hulk in this fight. On their own, they could demolish the entire opposing team. The only option would be to keep them fighting each other the whole time, which would be kind of lame. Much better for them to have a gladiator battle on trash planet where no on else can steal their thunder. (I am not sorry.)

My mind is pretty much blown by how well the MCU has traveled the path from the first few movies to here, and from here to Infinity War. The Avengers have pretty much been getting broken down since Ultron. This was where they fell apart. Infinity War is the consequences of falling apart.

[savetheblackpaladin]

love ur writing btw it's amazing. anyway, headcanons where shiro is a freaking day camp counselor for kids around the ages of 4-12

Ok ok, so I used to work at the YMCA and got to watch the counselors with their kids all the time! (They were so tired.) 

he shows up day one with his stupid yellow shirt looking a bit too tight (but the moms don’t care), wearing a YMCA hat backwards, and socks with sandals

he’s got a cheesy smile, a smear of sunscreen on his nose, and a camelback

he’s prepared

It takes his kids 0.2 seconds to decide that he’s the best person ever

literally he says hello to them all while squatting down to their level (let’s say they’re 8) and they all clamor around him, desperate to tell him their names, their family member’s names, and their favorite colors

and he does his best to pronounce their names correctly which is A+ in any kid’s book

A kid: Hey, Counselor Shiro? How’d you get so many scars???

Shiro: I didn’t wear my helmet while riding my bike. Now put it on. *hands the kid a helmet*

Shiro: *Sees a kid running around holding something* What do you have?

Kid: A knife!

Shiro: NO

Makes the kids put on sunscreen damn near religiously. He’s got them trained to a specific ringtone on his phone that means it’s time to reapply.

He doesn’t even ask anymore. Everyone is in awe as the kids stop what they’re doing and run to put on sunscreen.

Shiro shrugs.

Does the kids’ hair if they ask. Nothing too fancy, but he’ll put in a ponytail or a braid. They boys get jealous and Shiro ends up tying back everyone’s hair. Even is own. Bc ‘you have to match, Counselor Shiro!’

Breaks out the slip n’ slide when he wants a lazy day

Had pushed kids too hard on the swing and pushed them face-first into the ground

No one asks him to push anymore

“I swear to…GET OFF THE TOOLSHED!” (To himself, in a quieter voice: How do they keep getting up there?”

Shiro, while in a watergun fight: “I won’t hesitate…(mentally)bitch.” *shoots a kid in the face.*

He may be a counselor but dammit he’s gonna avoid getting wet

Also the kids think his avoidance maneuvers are freaking sick and try to emulate him

teaches his kids how to dodge roll so they’ll stop hurting themselves

“Alright cadets!….I mean, kids!” (ends up giving in and calling his kids cadets)

He’s got a couple of low-income and lonely kids that he always makes sure to pay extra attention to. They remind him of Keith.

he’s got one specific girl to slips up every once in a while and calls him ‘Dad’. 

He cry

After summer camp is over he gives her mom his number, offering to babysit whenever she needs. It’s okay now that he’s no longer her counselor.

Forgot his sunscreen once and got sunburned. The kids never let him forget it. Ever.

Teaches them yoga and some body stretches in the morning, light sports during the day, and maybe some basic martial arts in the afternoons if it’s too hot to be outside

Once he got stressed out enough and bought a pack of cigs. One of his kids saw him smoking.

Kid: “Is that a weed????”

Shiro: “What…no! No! It’s not–”

Kid: “I’m calling the police!!!!”

He learned his lesson. Never again.

Likes dodgeball the most, but the kids tell him it’s never fair when he plays because he never gets hit

Kid: “Counselor Shiro? Why do you suck at DDR? You’re asian right?”

Shiro: “There are so many things wrong with that statement. But first of all, I do not suck at DDR.”

Ain’t no bullying happening with his kids, nuh uh, no way sir! His kids are kind and respectful and WOKE. He ain’t about to let his kids be ignorant. He’s gotta deal with them 8 hours a day 5 days a week,

Kids love hanging from his arms!

At any one time there is a child attached to his leg. Why? He does not know. Is this even one of his kids??? Who’s kid is this???????

Hates dealing with the parents honestly. They’re the most stressful part of the job.

Brings snackies for his kids. He tells them it’s because he likes to share but he really wants to make sure his kids that are low-income have plenty to eat with him

“Oh noooo~ I have too many cheese sticks. Here. Take it home.”

Kids love him but babies don’t. Every once in a while he has to sub in the actual daycare since he’s a Primary and he stresses so much bc the babies…they sense fear

they take one look at him and cry

he panic

“You know what? I’ll, uh, I’ll trade a toddler teacher.”

There’s tears when summer camp ends. From parents, kids, and Shiro. He’s sentimental and takes a group selfie with his kids every year and frames it.

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[spacebananas-blog]

Down With the Ship

“Call me Maygull.” Were the first words the man with the wooden leg and eye patch said to Josiah. He’d come into Hooligan’s rather noisily; his heavy foot and lack of actually lifting his wooden leg to walk created a heavy stomp and the sound of wood scraping across wood. He was a rather burly man, a thick black beard, wiry black hair with a patch missing above where three claw marks ran down the right side of his face.

           “You’re one of Edan’s men, aintcha? How is the ol’ bastard?” Josiah slapped the man named Maygull on the back almost affectionately.

           “Dead.” Silence. 

           “Wotya mean e’s dead? Ol’ Edan couldn’t die if Davey Jones came for ‘im ‘imself.” Josiah laughed and offered him a chair.

           “I mean e’s dead. Killed by those damned water witches out by Eggman’s watch. They killed Edan and ‘bout ‘alf his crew.” Josiah sat down next to him, waving his hand at me.

           “Aye wench, get ‘im a drink stead a standin’ round lookin’ like a ‘alf wit.”  I coiled my tongue in my mouth, swallowing my remark about his intelligence and smelling like a cow.

           “So tell me. How exactly did Edan die? An I don’t mean no granny’s tale bout no damn mermaids either.”

           I set the two pints down in front of each of them, Maygull immediately picked his up and took a long drink before speaking.

           “Aye mate. It’s good I aint tellin’ no stories bout no mermaids.” He slammed his cup down, sloshing the ale over the brim of the glass. “Them was sirens. They open they mouths and start singin’, no man can resist ‘em. Jump right in the water with ‘em. Edan and ‘alf his crew. Nearly took me too.”

           The men who’d been bickering in the corner over a game of cards came over to listen. All four of them looking about as scared as a toddler; wide eyed and almost shaking with Maygull’s telling of the water women.

           “They wasn’t scaly. Noooo, no. they skin was fair and pretty, like moonstone. Hair the color a seaweed. I shoulda known soon as I seen ‘em poppin out the water. They teeth was like sharks. But soon as they started singin’, boy we was hooked.”

           “So how’d you get away?” Maygull laughed and reached in his shirt. Out of it, he pulled a jagged pink seashell on thick, scratchy looking rope.

           “With this. Never go out on the waves without it. Cut that singin’ bitch throat with it good too. Still got me leg though.” His laugh came deep from within his chest as he banged his peg leg on the floor.

           “So you gone tell us wot happened or not?” one of the card players asked with interest.            “Aye, aye.” Maygull waved him off and finished his pint off. “Wench, git me another one, aye?” I squinted my eyes at him and went to get another one. “We was sailing to Northfitch. A trip we’d all done 100 times. Goin’ to the ol’ watch didn’t seem like nothin’ out the ordinary. As we was sailing, those big angry lookin’ rocks risin’ out the water, greetin’ us. Lettin’ us know we was there.” I placed the pint in front of him and went to lean against one of the pillars to listen.

           “Edan tol’ us to drop anchor, that we was turnin’ in for the night. O course, we was gettin’ drunk. The sun was high and hot. We knew the trip was ‘bout over. ‘Nother day of sailin’ we was gon hit shore. We didn’t know we was bein’ watched. Not until nightfall.” He took a drink. The men were obviously leaning in, eager to hear the next bit of the story.

           “Faramond was getting’ antsy. We could all see it. Feel it even. We paid ‘im no mind. He kept sayin’ there was somethin’ in the water. We shoulda listened. No one was on watch that night. We were relaxed; drunk and tired from three days of hard sailin’. I remember there was a lot of splashin’ around, right before the singin’ started. And when it did start; there was nothing but that voice. When the singin’ started we aint know what it was. Faramond knew though. ‘E said it was just to get our attention. To pull us out our sleep. It did. Every one of those men were woke. We made the mistake of coming to the deck after that. Those damn water witches stopped singin’ after that. We was confused. So when they started singin’ again, but different this time, oh boy, we ain’t knew what was goin’ on. Faramond did though. Bastard still fell for it though.” He shook his finger at the men.

           “Faramond tol’ me there wasn’t ‘nough of ‘em to bewitch the whole crew and drown ‘em. Said they could only take one man at a time. But those boys, they dropped like rocks into that water. Next I knew, I was down there with ‘em. Starin’ into the eyes of one of them witches. She wasn’t ugly. Nooo, no. the water bitch had me hooked soon as I saw ‘er. Had them pretty blue eyes and skin like a pearl.” He licked his lips at the thought, a few men chuckled.

           “Woooo-weeee. That girl was gorgeous. And she was even prettier when she sang!” his eyes became cloudy at the memory, a little bit of drool slipping from the corner of his mouth to dribble down his chin. Josiah snapped his fingers in his face to get his attention.

           “So what happened?” Maygull licked his lips one more time and his eyes cleared.

           “She stopped singin’. Was almost like someone turned the world back on. When I saw her she wasn’t pretty no more. Had teeth like a sharks, she dipped beneath them waves and dragged me with her. She tried to pin me to the bottom of the ocean. She broke me leg and ripped it off, feedin’ it to one her sharks. When she came in close for the kill, I cut her throat with me shell. She lashed out then, all claws and teeth bitin’ at me face. She sliced open me left eye and gave me these marks.” He gestured to the scars that ran from his temple to his jaw in a ragged line.

           “I cut ‘er again with me shell, think I killed her on that one. Damn water bitch didn’ want to die.” He chuckled with the rest of the men. “I managed to get back to the surface, surprised too. Figured them sharks woulda been on me.” more chuckling.

           “What was left of the men managed to get me back on board. We wanted to stay and try to save who we could, but Faramond told me there would be no one else. We pulled anchor and set sail right then and there. They patched me up best they could until we got to Northfitch. Gangrene had just ‘bout set in by the time we arrived and got to a doctor. Had to cut off more of me leg to get rid of the ‘grene. To sail back, we went straight on through the watch. I’m sure they coulda gotten the rest of us. But I think it was Edan they’d wanted. Poor bastard. God decided to give him some karma. The Watch is the same place he drowned Corona. Did it unrightfully so too. None of us was gone tell him that though. So we just watched; hootin’ and hollerin’.” He looked up then, his face grim as he looked around at the faces that surrounded him. His next words chilled everyone, including myself, to the bone.

           “The water wench, I knew who she was. Any of ya remember Lacey McFlannerhall?” a few nods in the crowd.

           “Aye.” Josiah looked to me. “Ain’tcha Lacey’s sister?” I swallowed hard. Someone else chimed in. “Yeh, you is that whore’s sister aintcha? Aaaaaaaaaaintcha?” my lip curled back in disgust.

           “Lacey was no whore you pigs. She could never have been.” Bellowing and hands being slammed on tables in anger echoed around the room, but Maygull silenced it all with the rise of a hand.

           “The water wench that tried to take me. She was Lacey. I don’t know how. But I know, I know that skin and them eyes.” Maygull turned to look at me. “You knew Corona to, didntcha?” I nodded.

           “Aye, I thought so. I knew her eyes too. One gold and the other brown?” Another nod on my part. “Aye, she came back for vengeance. She’s the one who took Edan.”