#oh no gun started crying and so did we

[criticallyobs]

How dare they...Make us wait two weeks! Here is something that will hopefully help with the drought...

Welcome to our new Podcast Back to OG where we Critically Discuss OffGun's latest show Cooking Crush. Please note we are reacting to the Uncut version of the show.

Be sure to join us on Twitter or Tumblr @criticallyobs.

Thanks for keeping us company - Z and M xoxo

Cooking Crush Playlist

Last Twilight Playlist

Dangerous Romance Playlist

Potential Obsessions Playlist

[shima-draws]

Just got back from seeing Sonic 3 and HOOOOOOLY SHIT y’all. Oh my fucking god. OH my god. Ohhhh my g o d

[compacflt]

THE p-51D. THE mustang. THE jacket. okay. (Thanks to @sassenach082 for letting me know how close i was to planes of fame!!)

[wow-thisismylifeiguess]

AU where Bruce isn’t Batman and the ‘Brucie’ persona is mostly real, but he’s also not an idiot and well aware that his kids are vigilantes

Bruce, “I just wish Dickie chose a better costume than that. I mean, look at him! He’s like a traffic light.”

Alfred, “I believe it’s a similar outfit to one his mother designed for him when he was younger.”

Bruce, “….nevermind, I take it back. He’s my beautiful baby boy and his outfit choices are definitely not atrocious.”

—

Bruce, “Jay…mind explaining the bruises on your wrists?”

Jason, “Oh…yunno how it is.”

Bruce, stares

Bruce, “If your partner is hurting you-”

Jason, “NO, it’s nothing like that! I promise, it was….consensual?”

Bruce, “Is that a question or statement, kiddo?”

Jason, “Statement.”

Jason, later, grumbling to Dick, “Sometimes I feel like he’s onto us…”

Dick, “No way. We cover our tracks super well. You just need to come up with better excuses for your bruises. I mean, BDSM? You?”

Bruce, upstairs, listening through a bug he planted, “Dumbasses.”

—

Bruce, “Why is the Drake child in my home?”

Jason, “He’s a friend.”

Dick, “I think you’re choking him a little, B.”

Bruce, who has Tim in a bear hug, “Am I choking you, buddy?”

Tim, muffled, “Not at all.”

—

Bruce, “TALIA! YOU’RE HERE! Why are you here.”

Damian, “Why am I here?”

Talia, “We have a son. Here. Take care of him.”

Damian, “I will not stay w a man like…like him.”

Bruce, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Damian, “You’re pathetically human and weak. I have nothing to learn here, Mother.”

Talia, “He’s beaten me before.”

Damian, “What?”

Dick, “What?”

Jason, “What?”

Bruce, smiling dreamily, “Such good memories.”

—

The kids find out he knew everything from the start when Dick has to pick up a drunk Bruce from a party. They arrive back at the Manor and Bruce won’t stop clinging to Dick.

Bruce, “Noooooooo! Don’t leave me! Don’t put on that ugly costume!”

Dick, “W-what?”

Bruce, sniffles, “It’s better than the Robin one, but come on, chum. You can do so much better than that.”

Dick, “You…know?”

Bruce, still crying, “Of course I knew! Good at covering your tracks my ass!”

Dick, “Do you know everything?”

Bruce, wiping his face because his vision is blurring and there’s two Dicks standing in front of him. Fuck, he’s dizzy, “Jason’s outfit is better. Tim’s is atrocious. But at least you gave Dami pants.”

Dick, “BRUCE!?”

Bruce, “Nooooo, don’t yell. My head hurts.”

—

Sitting in what Bruce has decided to call the Bat Cave because, helloooo, the bats?

Dick, "How long have you known?"

Bruce, "Oh, you know."

Jason, "From the beginning???"

Bruce, "I'm not stupid. Alfred, why does everyone think I'm stupid? My own kids think I'm stupid."

Tim, "Mr Wayne-"

Bruce, stares at him

Tim, "....Bruce. We don't think you're stupid. We just thought we were being...sneaky."

Damian, "Hmph. All of you lack training in stealth. Unlike me."

Bruce, "Dickie, how am I supposed to not know when I adopted a child acrobat and 'oh, look! a pint sized vigilante who can do flips off of buildings!'"

Jason, snorts, "Pint sized."

Bruce, "Jaylad, you started using guns a week after I signed you up for a firearms class."

Tim, tries very hard to hide a laugh

Bruce, "Timmy, your bedroom is covered in pictures of Gotham you'd only get from being on top of buildings."

Damian, scoffs

Bruce, "Dami, you trained as an assassin. Of fucking course you're a vigilante."

The kids, "....fuck. We suck at this."

Bruce, waves his hands in the air, "Don't worry about it. You're all bad at covering for yourselves, but me and Alfred handled it. Anyone who might've even got an inkling of who you might be have been...dealt with."

Jason, "Did you kill them?!"

Bruce, "What? No. Of course not. Right, Alfie?"

Alfred, "....of course not."

[the-thing-inside-your-closet]

Danny and Ellie are forced to flee Amity Park. And find themselves in Coast City.

I started writing this with the intention of only writing a short prompt, but then I just kept going until I felt like I’d written enough.

Danny gets caught up in yet another fight with Skulker, only this time it wasn’t because Skulker had come for Danny. No. He’d come for Ellie. And she was already weak from fleeing the GIW who had shot at her the moment she arrived in Amity Park.

Whether Skulker is after Ellie for Vlad, or because he wants her pelt can be up to you.

Either way, he manages to beat Skulker and captures him in the thermos. Just as he lets out a long sigh of relief he hears the sound of an ecto-gun being fired and then his side is burning and he’s falling. He’s falling too fast and it hurts and he can’t stop-

Danny guys the ground hard. His head is spinning, his skin feels like it’s burning, and he can hear the stomping of feet as someone runs towards him.

He needs to get up. He needs to get away. Find Ellie and make sure she’s safe. He’s needs to MOVE- but he can’t. Black spots for his vision as he manages to stand up and his eyes meet the end of his mother’s gun.

Before anyone can speak, he’s falling again, handing face first in the dirt. And the familiar feeling of de-transforming washes over him.

The last thing he hears before loosing consciousness is the grief stricken sound of his parent’s voice as three voices shout in unison.

“OH MY GOD DANNY!”

“DANNY ARE YOU OKAY?!”

“NO, GET AWAY FROM HIM!”

When Danny wakes up again, he’s in his room, the curtains are drawn but he can see the sliver of sunlight pouring in through the gap underneath. He notes that his body aches, but not as much as usual after a fight like that. And there’s a warmth enveloping his hand. It’s soothing, and he almost considers going back to sleep when he notices that there’s a ghost in the room. And all too fast he’s sitting up and staring into the exhausted, red, puffy eyes of his mother looking back at him from where she’s sitting holding his hand in hers.

Just behind her he sees Ellie floating just above the ground talking quietly with his dad.

“Danny,” his mother’s voice draws his attention along with Jack and Ellie’s. “How are you feeling, sweetheart? Are you in any pain?”

He didn’t notice when she’d helped him to lay back down again. “Do you need anything? Ellie here was just telling us about how regular pain medication doesn’t work as well for the two of you. But I’m sure we could find something for you that might-”

“Mom,” Danny rasps. Man his throat was dry.

As if reading him mind Ellie appears by his mother’s side holding out a glass of water with a straw in it. Maddie helps Danny to sit up a little more so he can drink.

“Mom,” he tries again, sounding better this time, “I’m okay. I promise. It’s not that bad!” He starts to lie as the panic sets in. He de-transformed in front of them. He knows he did. And the fear shows on his face, it must, because before he can even begin trying to think up an excuse his mother is crying.

“Oh Danny, it’s okay. We know. And we’re not angry at you. We love you. So much.”

And Danny’s heart swells at hearing it. “You don’t hate me for being Phantom?” He asks quietly.

“No! We could never hate you Dann-o!” His dad’s cheery tone doesn’t disguise the sadness and guilt etched into his face. “We’re just…so sorry that we never noticed before. And that we…” he can’t finish his sentence but he doesn’t need to. Danny already knows what he’s apologise for.

“I’m okay. I promise. I heal fast!” Danny tied to reassure them.

It seems to help a little, though his parents still have a grim look in their eyes. As they make connections in just how Danny would know that about himself.

And Ellie, with perfect timing to cut the tension, announces happily, “Danny! Good news! Your parents said I could stay with you!”

Ellie had told his parents while Danny was unconscious about being his clone. She saw how they fretted over Danny, cleaning and dressing his injuries with the love and care she only imagined from a parent that truly loves you. And they had accepted her almost right away. Jack even crying as he proudly declared himself a father of three.

Jack soon excused himself, saying he’ll go see if Jazz needs any help with cooking lunch. Danny and his mother share a look, and with a final kiss to his head says she’ll go make sure nothing gets brought back to life. And she asks Ellie to please make sure Danny stays in bed and rests.

Danny and Ellie are left alone in his room, and it gives Danny the chance to really revel in everything. His parents accept him. They love him, both sides of him. And they accepted Ellie too! And said she can stay! She doesn’t have to be alone anymore.

Now, a lot can happen in the span of a few seconds, let alone minutes. In the time it took for Maddie to reach the kitchen, their front door was kicked down and a group of GIW agents had stormed in demanding they hand over the ectoplasmic scum they were harbouring.

Jack and Maddie drew their weapons and planted themselves directly in front of the GIW agents. The agents state that a ghost shield was put up around the house to prevent any ghosts from escaping, and by law any ghosts within the premises were ti be handed over for destruction immediately. Jazz runs upstairs to Danny’s room to warn them that the GIW were inside the house and that they needed to run. They need to get to the portal NOW.

With all the authority of an older sister Jazz tells Ellie to grab the go bag Danny had insisted on having prepared, and picks Danny up despite his protests that he could walk. Or well, fly. Ellie turns them all invisible and intangible and takes them down to the lab.

They can hear the sound of shouting, and something breaking and a gun being fired all coming from upstairs as Jazz opens the portal for Danny and Ellie.

Another shot rings out. And then another, and more shouting.

“Quickly you two need to go!”

Another shot.

“Aren’t you coming with us?” Danny, now Phantom, asks suddenly as he and Ellie are preparing to enter the Ghost Zone.

Two more shots.

“Someone needs to be here to deactivate the portal in case the guys in white make it down here. I’ll be fine. Mom and dad will be okay, they’re not here for us so you two need to go. Now!” There’s banging on the lab’s door and Jazz shoves both Danny and Ellie into the portal. The last thing Danny hears before the portal closes behind them is another shot being fired.

Danny is scared and angry as he and Ellie are forced to fly through the zone with no currently known way to get back to his family. He needs to make sure they’re okay. He needs to protect them.

But right now Danny is still hurt, and he needs to get himself and Ellie somewhere safe. They begin to slowly make their way through the zone, looking for somewhere to rest and avoiding any ghosts that might want to pick a fight.

Ellie isn’t sure how long she and Danny have been moving for. It feels like it could have been days, or hours, or even minutes. But Danny can’t fly as quickly right now. He’s trying to keep a brave face for Ellie’s sake but she can see the exhaustion beginning to take hold of him.

So Ellie makes the executive decision to touch down somewhere to rest. She tells Danny she’s tired. Danny knows she isn’t and it’s only because she’s worried and wants him to rest. So he goes along with it and they make their way to the next floating island they come across and thank the ancients it’s empty. The two halfas touch down and Danny slumps over as he sits against a nearby rock. Ellie pulls out some energy bars that were tucked away in the go bag and hands one over to Danny.

They do this a few times, stopping to rest, as they gradually make their way to the Far Frozen. Ellie had insisted on going there, Frostbite would know what to do, and he would be able to help Danny with his injuries that had started bleeding again in all the commotion of escaping, and then flying and hiding from ghosts known to attack Danny regularly.

But unfortunately luck is not on their side yet again as a natural portal rips open directly in front of them, and closes behind them after spitting them out in a city they didn’t recognise.

That’s how Danny and Ellie find themselves in Coast City, hiding out in an old warehouse by the docs while Danny heals and they figure out how they’re going to get back home.

That is, until now.

Danny stares up at his little sister and sighs with the resigned tone of an exasperated older sibling.

“Ellie,” he takes a breath, “what did you do?”

“I’m my defence,” Ellie glares up at Green Lantern, who has Ellie scruffed by the back of her hoodie, before looking back at Danny, “I simply do not vibe with the law.”

[obsessedwrhys]

Can we have a part 2 Deadpool reader with the boys and maybe soldier boy too❓❓ if you want to of course

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ The Boys x Deadpool!Reader

t/w: loooots of dark humour/jokes, reader's origin will be explained underneath, reader is still an asshole lol that comes with the character, mention about killing,death,gore, weed, drugs, Reader is gn!!!

ᯓ★ here's a version with the seven, kiss kiss <3

Origin:

Quick summary, when you were born, your parents had agreed with Vought to have you be pumped full of Compound V so you could grow up and be a hero working under them, but the problem was when you were around 7, they changed their mind so Vought ended up sending several people to come to your house to settle the matter.

Your whole family was massacred in the living room during thanksgiving and when they tried to capture you. You were able to run away. Homeless and living on the street, you grew up in a life of crime, depending on nobody but yourself. Make sense? No? Good! Let's start now.

BUTCHER

To him, you were like a fly that won't leave him alone.

How he knew you was through Mallory, she thought you were okay and fit for the job since you hated Vought just as much.

Obviously he didn't like you once you were introduced to him and the two (M.M and Frenchie)

"No way am I lettin' a supe join us"

":("

Though after what happened to Mallory's grandchildren, the gang pretty much dispersed but wherever Butcher went, you followed. Since he was the only person you trusted... and also enjoy annoying the shit out of.

He'd head inside a club, relieved he hadn't seen you for the past few days so he decided to grab a drink by the bar to unwind.

"Whiskey" He said with his eyes looking around, paranoia shown on his face.

Once his drink was served, he would look back to find your eyes smiling at him, you were wearing a bartender disguise over your red suit.

"Did you miss me?"

"Oh christ..."

When you heard word that he was gathering back the team, you had to be there. What kind of friend would you be if you didn't?

Undoubtedly he had to admit, there were times where he was grateful to have you on the team but there were also other times he regretted it.

For example, that time when you guys needed to sneak into a lab to get something and the goal was to stay quiet but even that simple rule was hard for you to follow.

"Room's up ahead. (Y/N) I need you to—"

"Heads up!" You said as you threw a bomb at the metal door.

The explosion causing the alarm to turn on and it had the whole lab now on high alert. You shrug innocently when Butcher glared at you like he wanted to tear you apart.

Also, you enjoy constantly pissing him off. You can't die so you don't really care if he'll kill you for it.

"Maybe, if you didn' press the fuckin' button, we wouldn't have to come bac' to save yer ass from the guards"

"OOH GOD SAVE THE QUEEEN!! Please, cry me a fucking river. I got us the target didn't I?"

"He's dead"

"Well you weren't being specific when you said to capture him"

But it's fine, all his frustration will be solved once he uses you as bait. He knows you can't die but hey, it makes him feel slightly better watching you get shot at.

Despite your ups and downs, he appreciates you. When the team would turn against him on his insane journey for revenge, he always found you the only one still standing by his side. You're loyal and he likes that.

Compatibility? 75%

HUGHIE

You treat him like a child.

No seriously you baby talk him sometimes and it annoys him

"Awwwww is little hughie angry?"

"Stop..."

"Does baby want his milky?"

Since he's pretty much the only person who isn't that exposed to crime as the others, he's terrified 100% everytime when he's paired up to do any dirty work with you.

"Now listen buddy, you better start talking or I'm gonna shoot" You said, gun raised at the man who seemed to be begging you to spare his life in a language you didn't speak.

"I don't think he speaks English"

"Ah shit... ENGLISH!! SPEAK!! ABCDEFG??!"

"How is shouting in English gonna make him understand?"

"Eh, you're right"

BANG

"WHY'D YOU SHOOT HIM??!"

"Well did you expect me to pull out Duolingo and start taking classes?!"

You had to admit, it was a pain in the ass each time he starts giving you the cold shoulder whenever he gets mad at you for doing something terrible. It was like his way of guilt tripping you so you always try to apologise in your own ways.

"Hey..." You said, handing him ice cream.

"...I uh... I don’t like Strawberry ice cream... I thought I told you that"

"God you're so ungrateful!!"

Since he was such a scaredy cat, you try to tone down your craziness a bit. For the sake of him not going into cardiac arrest.

"(Y/N) STOP!! She has nothing to do with this!! She was tricked" Hughie grabbed you by the arm to pull your gun away from the innocent woman.

You turn your head to look at him, then at the woman, then at him again, then the woman, then him again.

"Ugh finnnne... you're boring..."

However, he does appreciate you trying to be a better person. Even you had to admit, after you met him and became friends. You noticed yourself being less brutal than you used to be. The thought keeps you awake at night and it scares the shit out of you.

But oh well, how could you ever say no to those scared little puppy eyes?

Compatibility? 55%

FRENCHIE

He's like your hype man which is concerning.

Not because you're not afraid to get the job done but also because you always have his back.

"Well... I need some gunpowder but I've run out of them" Frenchie said, telling Butcher that the plan was most likely not gonna happen.

"Hold on" You said with the typical comical ☝🏻 gesture before heading into a different room. Everyone exchanging confused glances at what you could possibly be doing.

After a few minutes you'd return with a bag of gunpowder while struggling to zip up your pants with the other hand.

"Don't tell me how I got it. It almost tore me apart" You said, rubbing your ass.

On stressful nights, you guys would enjoy smoking weed together by the sofa and share stories of your traumatic childhood. It's how you guys bond and it's oddly wholesome.

Also when he needs a shoulder to cry on, you were always there for him. You two shared a type of relationship that even Romeo and Juliet couldn't compete with. To be fair they're dead so they actually can't fight.

"Hey reader!! If you're gonna keep reading then you might as well give the post a like or a repost. C'mon, pleassssseeee pleasepleaseplease"

"Ma cerise, who are you talking to?"

Although he doesn't mind your behaviour sometimes but he won't tolerate it if you ever cross the line on something. He's like the owner who sprays water at his pet cat when they don't listen.

"What are you mad at me for?!?!"

"You damn near tried to get us killed!!"

"Hey! You're the one who said it would be a suicide mission so I made sure it was a suicide mission!!"

"WHAT?"

There's no way he can deny how curious he is about where you get your guns and things. He once went in your room to find boxes of dynamite and a RPG just placed against the wall like furniture.

Like do you have a supplier or are you your own supplier?

Compatibility? 99.9%

M.M

Everybody deserves second chances.

He always tells him that to calm himself down everytime you managed to fuck up a thoroughly planned mission.

"What did I say about pressing buttons (Y/N)?"

"Honestly I stopped paying attention after you said 'Listen here'."

M.M has to be the only person you fear to the fact you try very hard to avoid him, this is because his long ass lectures are such a pain to deal with.

"How many times do I have to remind you? You can't just go around doing shit like that. You gotta consider the amount of danger you'll put everyone in..."

"(Blah blah blah... he's still going... uggggh... make it stop...!)"

Unable to handle the lecture any longer, you ended up shooting yourself in the head.

"(Y/N)!" His tone more disappointed than concern since this wasn't the first time you did this to escape his talks.

You know that russian dollhouse he tries to build in season 2? Well you'd constantly be found standing or sitting near him when he's trying to finish the set.

Since you're aware of his OCD, you like to edge him on by sometimes rearranging the parts or stealing some of it so he ends up searching high and low for the missing parts.

You had to admit it was entertaining to watch him accuse other people for touching his stuff when it was you behind all the schemes.

I'd like to think that after every mission when you happen to die, he'd be the one in charge of collecting your remains so you'd grow back.

That's why it comes naturally that his job is to make sure you don't do anything extreme.

"Where are my bombs??!?!" You'd shout, storming around the place looking for them.

"I sold them. Thought it'd do us more good knowing you won’t accidentally blow us up"

"WHAT?! GOD! It's like the writers of the show couldn't afford another explosion for this season so they had to use this DUMB of an excuse!!"

Though he does see some good in you through the messed up parts, he once saw you give his daughter a cute teddy bear when they've been burned by Vought.

She still has the bear and M.M likes to think that maybe you have a soft spot for kids since you never had a proper childhood. That's why he chooses to understand you rather than just being ignorant about your behaviour.

Compatibility? 80%

KIMIKO

She finds you a little odd but she doesn't mind once she realises how everyone is used to you being like that.

Whenever you're bored, you'd come to see what she was up to. Just imagine you sitting on the sofa like a curious kid as you watch her write alphabets on the book.

She also tries to communicate with you since she thought maybe your fucked up mind would understand her better in a way. Like how in season 2 she was repeatedly writing 'boy' to Frenchie but he didn't understand, so she came to you.

"Woow... watching you try to talk to me is like watching a baby take it's first breath..."

"😐"

"It's beautiful..."

Turns out her theory was wrong, you had a harder time understanding her compared to the rest.

Since you're the only two people in the group with powers, most of the time you two are sent on dangerous missions together. It's a nightmare for her because everybody knows communication is key but one is mute and the other doesn't listen.

"(Be quiet! There's people in the other room!)" She'd sign to you but you were busy humming a song while throwing around the enemies equipment.

"Oooh, what's this?" You held up a Homelander figurine which made you laugh as you show it to her.

"Hey look! 'I'm Homelander, I'm God's favourite. I play golf with Jesus every Sunday."

"(Can you please take this seriously?)"

"You're right, you gotta stop messing around Kimiko! We have a target to kill here" You said and you threw the figurine away which apparently clashes into a stack of boxes that came crashing down. The sound making everyone inside the building grab their weapons and began cornering you two in the room.

"😡"

"Okay that wasn't me that was gravity"

For the boys, you were plan A and she was plan B. That's because you always end up rushing into a fight first which most of the time resulted in you getting dismembered, which she later comes in to save you.

For example when Stormfront had stopped you guys, your bright ass thought it was a good idea to charge at her even though everyone was signalling you to stop. Next thing you know you were just a head being carried by M.M, you ended up watching as Kimiko fought Stormfront with the help of Starlight and Queen Maeve.

"That's my girl!! Now can anyone lend me a hand? I think I lost mine"

Compatibility? 97%

Bonus +

SOLDIER BOY

You know the scene where he walks out of his containment with the gas surrounding him? You swore when you watched him step out butt naked, you could hear angels singing and trumpets playing inside your head.

Shockingly enough, he was the only person who appreciated your humour. Could be a generation thing. He's just relieved not everyone has gone soft over the years.

In a way, you feel like you've become his babysitter. Everytime Butcher and Hughie left to do some business, you were in charge of making sure he doesn't blow up anyone. You kept him entertained so he didn't mind. That's why on the hunt for his former team members, he immediately chose you to be by his side.

"I'll take red with me"

"Red as in the american flag or the russians?" You asked which had him do the typical boomer laugh.

"I like you, you're funny" He said with a strong pat on your shoulder.

Butcher doesn't mind you with him cause he trusts that you can keep him under control. Hughie on the other hand isn't sure if you can even keep yourself under control.

"Shhh... wait... do you hear that?"

"Ah shit, did I accidentally said my dirty thoughts out loud? It's just you look breedable in that suit"

Another thing he likes about you is that you're okay with killing pretty much anyone, just try not to overstep cause that could potentially piss him off.

"I told you he's mine" He said as he had you pinned against one of the trees, apparently you had shot Mindstorm in the head when he literally made it clear to you minutes ago that was his kill.

"Quite possessive aren't you? I can recommended a therapist I know. Her names Martha—"

"You shut your mouth before I shove my shield up your ass"

"Gasp don't you DARE threaten me with a good time!!"

At the end of Season 3, you would obviously side with Butcher when everyone started to turn against Soldier Boy. He had to admit he was kinda hurt though, he expected you to be on his side.

"So what? You're crawling back to him now? After what we've been through?"

"Sorry big daddy, but Butcher has been my day one and I also happen to love him veryvery much"

Cue Butcher rolling his eyes out of disgust.

Compatibility? 100% but after the betrayal? 0% 😔

[newtkive]

shift shenanigans - s1 social media au

note: jus for fun ! may or may not do more parts.

warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes from richie sry

part two

liked by syd_adamu, marcus.brooks11 and 30 others

chefboyardee: my friends! i love my friends! the two on the right more than the left (i’m joking i promise) 😁😁😁😁

see all 8 comments

syd_adamu: brave of you to call him your friend y/n

↳ chefboyardee: boss man carmy save me

↳ syd_adamu: oh.. :///

marcus.brooks11: you did me so dirty, friend.

↳ chefboyardee: love you marcus you look spectacular

↳ marcus.brooks11: don’t start

richietheking: Where am I?

↳ chefboyardee: ya motha

liked by syd_adamu, chefboyardee and 10 others

richietheking: Getting sh$!t done.

see all 8 comments

marcus.brooks11: This is coolllddd.

↳ richietheking: You already know it man.

syd_adamu: this is actually crazy

carmyberzatto: can you show this on instagram? i think you should delete this.

↳ richietheking: Delete your life.

chefboyardee: come down to the beef for a number 6 the occy way 💯 the safest joint on the block 🤑💯we are 🔛🔝

↳ richietheking: Eyyy I know that’s right.

↳ carmyberzatto: please don’t advertise this.

WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩

[ 8:25 am ]

y/n:

bruh im about to lose it. heads up when you guys get to work.

marcus: that catering order is about to be crazy

DO NOT REPLY: These white boards are stressing me out.

syd: we know, probably giving you ptsd from not finishing high school

DO NOT REPLY: Fuck you I did finish it.

y/n: oh i gotta change ur contact name richie

richie poo: ????? What

y/n: it was ‘DO NOT REPLY’ lols

marcus: valid

syd: real

richie poo: What? Why?! That’s so rude

y/n: cuz you piss me off

and you kept blowing up my phone yesterday

richie poo: You weren’t answering, and we needed help at the cook out.

syd: the one where you poisoned everyone?

richie poo: Fuck off.

y/n: when i’m off work, i’m off work.

marcus: don’t let carmy hear that, y/n

y/n: don’t remind me

syd: he’s trying at least, go easy on him. he really has great ideas

richie poo: You mean you have great ideas in that little notebook

tina: Never trust a broad with a notebook.

syd: hey! i’m just being helpful

y/n: do you guys think my ig post will hurt carmys feelings

marcus: it would make me a little sad if i were him, but i don’t think he cares

y/n: great i’m gonna cry now

syd: i doubt he even saw it y/n it’s fine

richie poo: Check the work chat. Cousin is in a mood.

y/n: oh great

tina: Help us all.

syd: be nice you guys

WORK

[ 9:15 am ]

carmy: Everyone, we have huge catering orders tomorrow to prep for today. Please get here as soon as you can, the earlier you clock in the better. Additionally, please be careful what you post on social media. I don’t want people to get the wrong impression

y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳

syd: ok sounds good

richie poo: Cool it, Cousin. What’s the issue with the social media

tina: I use FaceBook. That not allowed now??

carmy: Tina, you’re fine. I’m talking about those who post work things on public accounts

marcus: facebook is crazy

richie poo: I can’t go private

y/n: he needs the likes

richie poo: No I’m disabled from doing so. Not sure why

y/n: liar

richie poo: 😑I don’t like you

carmy: Then please don’t post pics of yourself posting up with a gun and an air horn outside of my shop anymore.

marcus: that pic was fire can’t lie

carmy: Well, it’s bad for business.

richie poo: Fine, whatever

y/n: carmy

carmy: What, Y/n?

y/n: is this because of my caption on my post i’m sorry i promise i wasn’t being for real

carmy: I don’t care Y/n.

y/n: is that code for ‘i care a lot and i’m crying in the office right now and that’s why the door is closed’

oh

syd: ? why the oh

y/n: he opened the door and yelled no 🤨 but i think i saw red eyes

carmy: Please get back to work and I’ll comp a meal for you later

y/n: OMG yes chef 😍

richie poo: Inappropriate emojis and you shouldn’t have to incentivize her to work

y/n: shut up acting like HR i’m gonna beat your ass

jealousy is ugly which is why you have that mug on your face

carmy: Stop

y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳

i heard your giggle tho

richie poo: Again with the schizo episode

syd: you can’t say that richie

richie poo: Oh sorry

[bonchobrick]

Dead on Main au where Jason is of course Danny’s Fright Knight and like all knights do he has a weapon—except it’s his gun.

The batfam + justice league + everyone (except ghosts duh) don’t know that his normal average everyday gun is actually like a super powerful spiritual soul shooter that is, yaknow, capable of blasting someone into an alternate dimension where their greatest fears become real.

So imagine there’s like a big battle where a ghastly ghoul reigns terror on Gotham. The world sends their best hero’s—wizards and occultists are notably high highest in demand—to stop the ghost but, nothing works. All of the weapons and spells and chants fail.

But,

As the fights worsens and the heros scream for people to flee suddenly--

Loud squeaking footsteps echo across the ground. Jason yawns strolling into the battle zone in a ghostbusters t-shirt plaid pants bunny slippers--he strolls up in pajamas--as if annoyed at being woken up and cocks his fucking normal 'i could buy you at walmart' gun at the ghost.

His brothers screech at him yelling ”Are you insane” and to "get the hell out of here" in fear and panic because their idiot brother is trying to kill a real life ghost with a damn gun.

But then Jason shoots the ghost and it works.

The ghost fizzles down with a cry into just a little blob.

The young man then spends 30 minutes lecturing the spirit saying things like “you’re glad I’m not calling the big guy” and “you know our highness would not be happy learning what you’ve been doing” before taking out a thermos of all things and sucking the ghost into it.

Jason then sighs and walks away as if he hadn’t just defeated a hell raising ghost with a gun people can buy off a corner pawn store and a soup container.

Immediately the bat family swarms him with questions

Dick grabs him by his shoulders tense with worry, “Are you okay?”

“Um yeah—“ Jason tries to reply squirming in his hold

Damian cuts him off, “How the hell did your gun a physical weapon hurt that ghastly demonic spirit!”

“Uh that ghost is actually pretty chill you guys just pissed him off." Jason replies plain

They stare at him with a look saying 'you did not call a ghost that has been decimating gotham chill' probably because he did just that.

Tim is the first to break out of the disbelief stupor as he very inteligently says, "What?"

Jason responds easily with a confused quirk in his brow, "Second, my gun affects entities of all sorts, perks to my job and all that."

"How did being a vigilante and also probably crime boss give you a gun that could do that?" Dick asks

Jason sends him a look saying "are you an idiot" as he replies, "Yea, sure, kicking petty thieves and druggies got me my all powerful spirit weapon--No you dumbass, it's from being the bodyguard of the King of the Infinite Realms! How the hell did you guys not think of that!”

Tim breathes in, then breathes out, then breathes in again and screams, "Why the HELL WOULD WE THINK OF THAT JAY?!"

"The--" Batman, suddenly beside them, chokes, "Bodyguard of T-the what."

Jason blinks at his family then his eyes widen, "Oh shit."

"What?!" His family screech in panic

"Oh fuck," Jason says with a growing hysteric smile, "Danny's gonna have a big ol' fucking laugh with this."

"Brother who is Danny!" Damian demands for an answer

Jason coughs into his palm, "Oh yeah you guys really dont dont know. So I may have forgotten to explain some... things."

Bruce levels him with a stare that says "you think?"

Jason chuckles nervously, "So y'know how I'm half dead?"

pause

Damian very eloquently responds for the suddenly dying screaming combusting members of his family, "...sure."

"Well I met the King of the afterlife which is like the Ruler of Everything and he was really cute--" Jason says distant in his own world

"Theres a afterlife?" Superman asks casually appearing beside the emotionally wrecked family

"Yea its pretty cool. So I start flirting a bit with the guy and we hit it off, I now im his zombie ghost knight boyfriend lover for all time. Oh and i got this sickass gun." Jason says with a happy grin

"That is a pretty sick gun." John Constantine nods

"I know right?" Jason chirps

"You wouldn't mind if I inspected--" John reaches his hand

Jason slaps it away, "Not a chance you soul whore. Y'know your basically the tax evasionist of the Ghost Zone right?"

John only sighs and leaves

"But yea so I'm like the ghost world equivalent to married with the king and became his knight and thats how I was able to stop that ghost guy." Jason reiterates as if explaining a simple question, "Y'guys get that?"

Tim is on the ground trying to decide whether; sobbing hysterically, interogating jason to find out all the things he doesn't want to know or sleeping would be a better use of his time.

Dick has decided to blame himself and has started to draft a reddit post in the middle of the street starting with "I (23 m) have a younger brother (19 m), who I used to resent but really regret now, he died and came back and doesn't even tell me about what goes on in his life anymore. How do I fix our--"

Damian is just staring at the gun and... Jason pushes it deeper in his holster and shifts to the side, better to be safe than sorry with this thieving shit.

As Jason adjusts his weaponry he hears Bruce sob in the background, "He didn't even invite me to the wedding! Am I that horrible of a father!"

Wonder Woman pats his shoulder reasuringly whilst the rest of the League seem to be trying to calm him down

Jason looks around tiredly at the mess he had created and decides fuck it

"Alright I'm heading out for the night, you guys get home safe!" He yells and without caring to listen to anyone and everyone voicing their confusion he zips open a green portal and stumbles in

He crashes down on an unbelievably comfortable bed

Danny blinks blearily before sending the young man a sleepy smile, "Hey Jay, what kept you up so long?"

Jason slipping under the blankets with a yawn says, "You would not believe the night I just had."

------------------

Edit: UMM HII The fic is out now here!! you guys are awesome I'll post the new chapter 2 in a hot sec after editting ^^

[marvelfanfn2187a113]

One Call Away

Sam and Dean Winchester & little sister!reader

Requested by Anonymous (x3)

Synopsis: based on 4x19, only the ghouls kidnap you instead of Sam

I’m only one call away

I’ll be there to save the day

“Whatever’s hunting Adam, I’m gonna find it.”

“You already looked everywhere, Dean,” Sam argued.

“Well then I’ll look again,” Dean snapped before turning to leave.

“Wait.” Sam sighed. “Wait, I’ll…I’m gonna come with you.”

Dean’s eyes flashed from Sam to you. Sam seemed to read his mind.

“She can stay here with Adam. It’s safer, and she knows enough to show him how to secure the house.”

“Fine.”

…

You and Adam nailed down and salted every conceivable entrance into the house. You were just about to call your brothers when you heard a woman’s voice yelling from downstairs.

“Adam!”

“Mom?”

“Adam no—“ you tried to stop Adam, but he was already starting down the stairs after his mother’s voice. “Adam it’s not her!”

You reached the bottom of the stairs in time to see Adam embrace what looked like his mother, but had to be a monster.

“Adam that can’t be her!” You insisted, raising your gun. “There was too much blood, it can’t—“

Adam wrestled the gun out of your hands without hesitation, swinging it between you and his mother.

“It’s not human!” You cried.

A slow smirk appeared across “Adam’s” face.

“I know.”

The butt of the gun was the last thing you saw as the monster swung it at your head.

…

“Dean?” Your first instinct when you awoke to a pounding headache was to call out to your big brother. But you got no answer.

Superman got nothing on me

I’m only one call away

Call me, baby, if you need a friend

You tried to sit up, but straps across your ribs held you down tightly to an old wooden table that scratched against your back. You groaned as you tried to move your arms and legs with the same results; your legs were held by straps, and your wrists were stretched out to either end of the table and tied down with coarse rope.

An eerie humming invaded your senses as you slowly let your eyes open. The humming stopped as you moved around more.

“You’re a ghoul,” you mumbled. “That’s why the tests didn’t work.”

“Would’ve been a lot better for you if you’d figured it out earlier.” The woman who looked like Adam’s mother turned around to face you, wielding a large kitchen knife. “Or maybe it wouldn’t have. We’re good at catching our prey. Not that you were hard to catch.”

“My brothers—“ you cut yourself off in a cry of pain as the woman sliced into your forearm with a knife. You tried to ignore her as she licked at the wound, instead choosing to continue your threat. “My brothers are gonna kill you.”

“They won’t get here in time to save you, sweetie,” she taunted, licking her lips.

“Oh it’s gonna be fun killing you after what your daddy did to mine.” The ghoul that looked like Adam was suddenly at your other side, grinning at you as he lifted up one of your knives before slicing it across your wrist.

You’d really wanted to be stoic like your big brothers, but you couldn’t hold back the cry of pain while Adam put his knife down and placed a bucket under your wrist to catch the dropping blood.

“Oh she’s gonna be a whiny one,” the woman chuckled.

“A screamer, just like Adam,” the boy added. He leaned close to your ear to whisper, “He really was your brother, by the way.”

“My brothers will—“

“Ah yes, your brothers. The three of you are so inseparable, it was such a pain to get you alone.”

“Worth it though,” Ghoul Adam added, sticking the tip of his knife into your side and twisting it—just enough of a wound for him to dip his finger in. You cried out, trying to squirm away from him, but the straps held you tight.

“By the way, your brothers won’t be interrupting us,” the woman played with the tip of her knife while she spoke. “So we’re gonna feed on you nice and slow, like we did with Adam. We wanted to kill your daddy, but he was already dead. So you and your brothers will have to do instead.” She reached down, slicing another cut into your wrist—this one much deeper.

You couldn’t help it—you screamed, your arms thrashing in a fruitless attempt to escape the ropes and the knives.

“Hey, lie down and relax,” Ghoul Adam chided you. “We don’t want you bleeding out too fast.”

Reaching out to you, so take a chance

No matter where you go, know you’re not alone

“Hey!” Dean’s voice rang out through the room as he stormed in, gun raised.

“They—they’re ghouls!” You gasped, peering at your big brother through a foggy gaze.

“Headshot.” Sam’s voice came a second after the sound of a gunshot ripped through the air. The woman ghoul dropped to the ground, her head having been blown off by the close shot.

Dean was by your side in a second, but before he could untie you Ghoul Adam tackled him into the next room.

You whimpered as your hand twitched, spilling more of your blood into the bucket under you.

“De…Dean!” You cried out as he landed a blow to Adam’s head.

I’m only one call away

Dean turned to you, leaving Ghoul Adam open for Sam to take a headshot.

I’ll be there to save the day

“Hey kiddo.” Dean rushed to your side, making quick work of untying your wrists and the other straps, completely ignoring Sam shooting off the head of your half-brother’s look-alike in the next room.

Superman got nothing on me

“Up you go,” Dean coaxed, supporting your back as he pulled you into a sitting position.

Your head felt like it was completely drained of blood as you swayed, spots dancing across your vision.

“Whoa, hey—“ Sam appeared on your other side, stabilizing you while Dean grabbed two rags and pressed them against your cuts.

A strangled cry escaped you as you instinctively tried to pull away from Dean, but he held on tight.

“It’s ok, hold it there,” Dean ordered. “We gotta stop the bleeding.”

“I didn’t—I didn’t think you’d find me,” you whimpered. “They were gonna eat me—“

I’m only one call away

“Shh, hey it’s ok,” Sam soothed. “We’re right here.”

“I’m never gonna let anything happen to you,” Dean promised. “Now c’mon, we should go.” He pulled you off the table, but the second your feet hit the ground the spots returned and your knees gave out. Dean caught you before you could hit the floor, and Sam reached out and grabbed hold of your wrists to keep the rags tight.

“Dean—“ Sam cringed as his hands were immediately soaked with red. “She’s losing a lot of blood.”

“She’s ok.” Dean glared at Sam, before turning a softer gaze to you when your breath started to labor. “You’re ok, I promise.”

Dean carried you out to the Impala, where Sam sat with you in the back, holding tightly onto the rags wrapped around your wrists.

“The bleeding will stop,” he kept repeating. “And you’re gonna be just fine.”

Dean went back into the house to take care of the ghouls’ bodies while Sam stayed with you.

“It’s done,” Dean said when he returned. “How’s—“ he turned to the back seat, and Sam cut him off.

“Her heart rate is skyrocketing. De—” Sam almost never called his big brother De. And he almost never looked this scared. “She’s losing too much blood. She can’t be losing this much blood! She’s so little—“

“Calm down!” Dean snapped. Sam used to talk about you like that—how little and fragile you were—when you were just a baby, and he was scared you wouldn’t make it in such a dangerous world. Dean reached over the seat and grabbed your chin in his hand. “Sweetheart, talk to me,” he begged.

“What?” You blinked. Your whole body seemed to heave with the effort it took to breathe. “De, what…Sam what’s happening?”

“She’s delirious, I’m gonna need to stitch up these wounds to stop the bleeding.” Dean got out of the front seat and came to your door, propping it open and grabbing onto your hands. “Sam, you gotta keep her still, I don’t think she’s gonna understand what’s happening.”

Sam shifted, wrapping one arm around you while grabbing your forearm with his free hand, keeping you in place while Dean grabbed a needle and sterilized it.

“It’s ok, it’s ok,” Sam whispered to you while Dean got started on the stitches. You fought to free yourself and get away from the needle, but you were no match for Sam’s strength.

You started to cry in Sam’s arms, but you didn’t speak as Dean finished up the stitches quickly and then helped Sam lay you gently in the back, your head in Sam’s lap.

“Are you sure she doesn’t need a hospital?” Sam asked as Dean got in the front seat and started for the motel.

“They’d have too many questions, and we don’t have answers,” Dean huffed. “You’ve got her blood type. We may have to do a jerryrig transfusion when we get back.”

“Sleep now?” You mumbled, your eyes already fluttering shut. Dean glanced back at you. He was worried about you sleeping, but he feared that they wouldn’t have a choice with the way you were dozing already, and he didn’t want to scare you.

“Yeah sweetheart, you can sleep now.”

Your face relaxed into a gentle smile, and you gave a half-hearted thumbs up.

“I love you…” you whispered before dozing off.

“I love you” would be the last words the boys heard from you for a long time.

…

The ghouls didn’t look like Adam and his mom this time; they looked like Sam and Dean.

“We ate your brothers already,” ghoul Dean said. “So there’s nobody to save you.”

“We’re gonna eat you nice and slow,” ghoul Sam added. “One. Bite. At a time.”

Both brothers jumped for you at the same time, ready to rip you apart—

“Y/N! Y/N, wake up!”

You bolted upright, your eyes blinking into focus to see Sam leaning over the back of his seat in the Impala to shake you awake. Dean was stealing glances at you from the drivers’ seat.

“You ok, kiddo?” Dean asked.

You offered him a small nod in reply, and he shared a glance with Sam. This was the third time in just over a day that you’d awoken from a nightmare since your time with the ghouls, and you still hadn’t spoken a word. Sam had had to give you some of his blood, but you were either asleep or unconscious for most of it.

Dean had put bandages over your wounds to keep you from scratching at them in your sleep, and he’d hoped that would be the end of it. But something about the ghouls had scared you more than any other monster you’d seen. Dean was kicking himself every minute, think about how he should’ve gotten to you faster, he shouldn’t have let those ghouls cut you open and scare you so badly.

Distracted, Dean didn’t notice the light turning green in front of him until the car behind him honked. The sudden beep had you nearly jumping out of your seat, your eyes wide and panicked.

“Hey, easy,” Sam soothed. “You’re ok.”

“What are you—“ Dean stared at you as you started to climb over the seat, only tearing his gaze away when he had to make a turn. “Kid, what are you doing?”

You didn’t answer—you just finished climbing over the seat and then leaned against Sam, who—despite his surprise—wrapped his arms around you and let you burrow against him.

“You ok, N/N?” He asked. No response.

“Cat got your tongue?” Dean quipped. At your silence, he prodded, “Kiddo, say something.” He waited a beat. Nothing. “Would you say something?” He snapped.

“Hey, easy,” Sam chided. Dean finally turned his eyes from the road to look at you again—you had all but disappeared into Sam’s side, your face tucked against his shoulder like you were trying to hide from the world.

Come along with me and don’t be scared

I just wanna set you free

Dean took the hint and stopped digging. Sam was content to sit in the silence, but he could practically feel Dean worrying beside him.

“We took care of those ghouls, N/N,” Dean assured you. “Nobody’s ever gonna hurt you again.”

You stared down at your bandaged wrists and said nothing.

…

Things between the Winchester siblings had changed. Dean spent most of his time either worrying about you, or trying to get you to talk. Sam however, had decided on a different approach after weeks of your silence. Dean was out on a grocery run when Sam brought his approach to you.

“Hey honey,” he greeted, “Can I show you something?”

You nodded, and he came to sit with you on your bed, bringing his laptop with him.

You and me can make it up, anyway

For now, we can stay here for a while

“So, I know you don’t really wanna talk anymore,” he began, and when you started to squirm he quickly continued— “It’s ok, really. I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to do. I just thought…maybe if you don’t want to talk anymore, we could try this.” Sam set his laptop down in front of you. “It’s a sign language course. I found this website online with all these videos and—and I just thought maybe we could try this out. If you wanted to. I thought maybe it would be easier than talking.”

You seemed to consider it for a long moment before nodding at your brother, and he grinned.

“Cool—uh—let’s get started.”

…

“What are you guys up to?” Dean’s voice caught yours and Sam’s attention as he returned to the motel room. You made a series of gestures at him, to which he stared blankly.

“She said we’re learning sign language,” Sam interpreted with a grin. “You wanna join us?”

“Sign language?” Dean frowned. “What for?”

“Oh—well—“ Sam stumbled over his words, his surety of a few minutes ago gone. “For fun, I guess.”

“Huh.” Dean shook his head. “Ok, well, I’ve got food, so dig in.”

…

You weren’t asleep, but they thought you were; you could tell because they were talking about you.

“Why are you against this sign language thing?”

“Why? Because she doesn’t need it, Sam. I mean, don’t you want her to talk again?”

“Of course I do, Dean. But right now that doesn’t look like an option, and I still want to be able to communicate with her!”

“But if we do this, then maybe she never tries to talk again!”

“But if we don’t, then we run the risk of never connecting with her again, Dean!”

“That’s not true, if we—“

The voices cut off when you sat up in bed, jumping off and running to your brothers. Dean let you jump into his lap and get comfortable. You signed at Sam, and he sighed and said to Dean—

“She said, stop fighting.”

Cause you know, I just wanna see your smile

No matter where you go, know you’re not alone

“If you wanna sign, then I’ll do it with you,” Dean said. “I just…I miss you. I wish you would talk to us. But if this—“ Dean waved his fingers at you, and you grinned. “If this is how you want to talk, I can do that. I just want you to feel safe. You know you’re safe, right?”

When you’re weak I’ll be strong

I’m gonna keep holding on

You signed, and Sam said—

“She says I know.”

“Know?” Dean repeated your sign. “This is know?”

You nodded, and he grinned.

“Ok. So what’s next?”

“The alphabet is the most important thing,” Sam offered.

“Ok then. You know, I taught both of you guys your ABCs? Now it’s time to return the favor.”

You giggled, and just the hint of your voice brightened Dean’s mood.

…

The sign language lessons were going well, but Dean was still worried. Every little unexpected sound still freaked you out, and Dean was avoiding any mention of monsters, especially ghouls. Which wasn’t going to be easy much longer.

“Hey, the cameras didn’t pick up any eye flare, so the look-alike can’t be a shifter. Dean I think it’s a—

“Sam, how about we go get some food,” Dean cut him off, forcing himself not to glance in your direction. Even without looking he could tell you’d tensed up.

“Oh…right, ok.” Sam and Dean started for the door, but a tug on Dean’s arm stopped him.

Darling, if you feel like hope is gone

Just run into my arms

You were at his elbow, your eyes wide and your fingers trembling. Dean hadn’t stopped Sam fast enough—you knew it was a ghoul.

“They’re never gonna come near you,” Dean promised. “Me and Sam will take care of it.”

Your hands tightened on his arm, unwilling to let go.

“Hey,” Sam spoke up. “We’ve got this. We’ll be back in a few hours. Just lock yourself in here, and call if you need us.”

You slowly released Dean’s arm.

Be safe, you signed at them.

“Always,” Dean said, patting your shoulder before turning and leading Sam toward the hunt.

…

I’m only one call away

I’ll be there to save the day

“She called me twelve times.”

“Why didn’t you answer?”

“I was in the middle of killing a ghoul!”

“Well, call her now,” Sam insisted.

Dean clicked on your number as he started up Baby.

“We’ll be back in two minutes,” he said. He got no response, so he hung up and drove faster.

…

Dean was thrown back a half step the second he opened the door by the force of you throwing yourself at him.

“I’m ok, it’s all ok,” he said. “You’re ok, right?”

You nodded, pulling away long enough to grab onto Sam.

“The ghoul is dead,” Sam said. “It’s all over, ok?”

You just kept holding on, so Sam picked you up and carried you over to your bed.

“I know you’re still pretty freaked,” he said. “And that’s ok.”

“Yeah,” Dean cut in. “And if you don’t want to talk, that’s ok too.”

“But we both need you to know that we’ll keep you safe,” Sam said. “You know that, don’t you? No matter what, we’re not gonna let you get hurt again.”

You nodded firmly, and Sam smiled as he tucked you into bed. You slept soundly that night, knowing your brothers were right next to you, always watching over you.

Superman got nothing on me

I’m only one call away

Taglist:

@nyotamalfoy @mrvlxgrl @chocorade @aestheticdaisies @inlovewhithafairytale @that-wannabe-vangoghgurl @casmustdiee @987coley @deadlymistletoe @wayward-impala83 @whump-loverz @johannelis2302nely @studiogrimm810

[saintslewis]

𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐀 𝐇𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐌

𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒

pairing: sir lewis hamilton x black fem!oc; nadia hamilton

summary: nadia’s got a new job, life is going great (we do not mention singapore ’23) and she has a loving husband! nothing could go wrong, right?

warnings: cussing, outfit descriptions, suggestive stuff bc i love teasing you guys, slight angst too! (tw: qatar ‘23)

saint’s team radio 🫧: hey…..hey. i did not realise that it’s been almost 7 months without giving you guys lewdia….you guys are too kind i swear oh em gee 😭. like i always say, the last chapter bummed me out but we’re back now! i hope you enjoy this one, guys and thank you for sticking around 🥹

pls like, comment and reblog (i’m watching you)

taglist is down below!

fc: @/unclewaffles_ on ig!

renaissance: the series masterlist • general masterlist

-

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM

Lewis watched as his wife stepped out of the private exit of the upscale restaurant with her red bottoms clacking against the gravel of the parking lot behind the building. Holding the train of her dress like a true princess, she flicked her hair behind her shoulder as she made eye contact with her husband and a huge grin filled her face.

He leaned on the cullinan with a bouquet of white roses sitting pretty on the hood of the car and the infamous pink box from her favourite bakery, a swell of pride in his chest as he watched Nadia walk closer and closer to him.

“You, Sir,” She started, placing her clutch on the hood. “You’re looking at the brand new creative designer for Louis Vuitton.” Nadia expressed, her excitement kept in but the smile showed all her emotions. “The dinner went so well, baby, that the executives moved me from just working in Pharrell’s team to the general team in LV.” She giggled, trying her level best to surpress the excitement.

Lewis’ jaw dropped at the news. He knew Nadia was always gunning for a second chance in the fashion world and after months of communication, deep emotions and frustration, her biggest dream has come true. He could the tears prick his eyes as he watched his wife’s eyes glimmer with happiness.

“Nadia…oh my god, sweetheart. This is huge, this is…everything. I’m so proud of you, love.” Lewis spoke, his arms circling her waist and pulling her impossibly close. It truly sunk in as he spun her around in his arms and her laughter rang through the night sky. “How are you feeling? This is massive, babe, I can’t believe this.” Lewis spoke in disbelief, the ever growing smile never leaving his lips.

“I’m so shocked, I almost screamed and cried when Jean-Luc said that. Then my first thought was to facetime you then I remembered that I was still in work mode. Baby, they even asked that I sign the contract as soon as possible. Like?! Me?! I dreamt of this, Lewis, for years and I just-” The waterworks beat Nadia to her words, a few tears slipping down her cheeks.

Lewis didn’t have to say much, he just hugged her, her head softly placed on his chest and he most certainly didn’t mind that her makeup would get on his shirt. “Oh my god, I need to tell my babies Willow and Kaiden. Then the girls then- this is just so overwhelming and exciting!” She smiled wide, wiping her tears, not caring about her makeup anymore.

Nadia’s eyes finally drifted to the large bouquet staring right back at her along with the faint scent of the croissants. “Was it your job to just make me cry today? I’ve been craving these things for weeks.” Her bottom lip curled into a sweet pout before opening up the box and immediately munching on one.

“Nads, you didn’t even see the flowers? These things are heavy, you know?” He chuckled, watching move crumbs into her mouth.

She laughed. “Trust, I saw them. I had to get some real food first, they in there feeding people thoughts of food with a side of caviar.” She joked, taking up another bite of her pain au chocolat.

nadiahamilton

liked by lewishamilton, megantheestallion and 963,728 others

nadiahamilton this girl is now a creative designer for @.louisvuitton. i’m eternally grateful for this opportunity, thank you 🤍

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user THIS IS HUGE OH MY GOD CONGRATULATIONS MOTHERRRR

arianagrande nadiaaaaa i’m so proud of you!! can’t wait to celebrate you 🫧

charlottieee ARE YOU FUCKING JOKINGGGGG AHHHH

nadiahamilton girl i told you already 🧍🏽‍♀️

charlottieeee STILL THIS IS SO AMAZING

louisvuitton welcome to the family, Madam Nadia! Very excited to work with you in the future ❤️

nadiahamilton I can’t wait to start!

user damn i also wanna use my last name to get me into places that i was never supposed to go to

user you’re such a bitter bitch. you’d never say this about a white man

user TELL EM OOMF

chunkz you making big moves, sister 🥹

user THAT BOUQUET!!!

fencer sister in law is doing insane things! so proud 🥳

nadiahamilton milesssss 🥹

zendaya we’re officially co-workers! ahhh this is amazing, congratulations big sis

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kehlani vv proud of you, baby girl!!!! only wearin your pieces from now on, trust

iamcardib steal my entire comment, why don’t you? 😐

latto777 y’all ain’t doin enough, i’m getting this shit tatted on me! 🗣️

alexandrasaintmleux sending the biggest bouquet of flowers to you tinkerbell!

nadiahamilton love you always, alex!

iamkaylanicole THEE GIRL, OKAY?!

nadiahamilton kaylaaaa bae 🥹

user from high school teacher to creative designer for lv….. this ain’t shady to y’all?

megantheestallion NOPE

user mother has spoken

lewishamilton clean

nadiahamilton don’t piss me off 🧍🏽‍♀️

lewishamilton i love you, darling and i’m very proud of you ❤️💐

user motherrrrr 🥹

user still can’t have kids btw

nadiahamilton and your bf is still in the ground, now what

user she went LOWER omg 😭

-

LUSAIL INTERNATIONAL CIRCUIT, DOHA, QATAR

Nadia was already missing Japan and Mexico. Those two races had been the most fun she had experienced this entire season. The car was behaving surprisingly and Lewis was very positive about the outcome of the car, saying the team seemed to finally listen to him.

She was riding solo this time, Miles having to leave early for some work reasons and their friends just saying something about the vibe of the track didn’t sit right with them. Shrugging her shoulders, Nadia packed and went to Lusail with her man, packing her work books as well for sketches.

It was unbearably hot on race day but she had still covered up because she knew of the strict rules around her. Thank goodness the fabrics of her outfit were breathable but she wouldn’t be surprised if her lace lifted a tad bit. Her prescription glasses perched on her nose with her pencil tapping on the corner of her mouth as she sketched potential pieces a new collection that LV was planning to release.

The sweet sounds of jazz rang through her earphones as she swung her feet. Lewis’ driver’s room was comfortable enough for the both of them to be in their own worlds together. Lewis was also focused on his little notebook, focusing on the first lap mostly as he was starting in the front with George. His leg was bouncing, thinking of how things would go for him in this race.

Nadia was the first to put her sketchbook down sigh internally, fanning herself with her hands. He followed suit, taking his airpods off and setting them aside. Lewis gently patted his thigh and Nadia hopped off the ‘bed’ and into his lap, leaning back and feeling his chin on her shoulder as his arms circled her waist and pulled her closer.

“It’s just you and me this time.” Nadia spoke softly, playing with the hem of her shirt. Lewis could only hum in agreement. “I don’t know how to feel about this one. The last two were good and that kind of scares me because the car hasn’t been reliable all year.” He sighed. “I don’t know, love…”

“What are you thinking, Lew?” She took a moment to allow him to respond. He leaned his forehead against her shoulder. “I..They listened to me, Nads. They don’t..they don’t usually do that. I should be able to trust them, you know?” Lewis expressed and Nadia could feel his despair in his words.

She took a moment before saying anything. “Are you thinking of-”

“No. No, I’ve been with them for majority of my career. They’re family to me.” Lewis lifted his head, his voice harbouring slight offence at the mere thought of…that happening.

“Do they feel the same towards you though?” Nadia said, letting the sentence linger in the air for a moment. “You give them everything and they give everything to your teammate. I’m not saying that you should…leave. Never. I just want to see you happy in a car that you can drive.” She fidgeted with her nails this time.

Lewis took his time to respond. The thoughts racing in his head. He is Mercedes. He wants to retire with them. But do they want to?

“I made it deep, innit? I’m sorry.” She chuckled, trying to lift the mood. “I know you’ll do amazing today. I’m just chatting.”

He bounced the leg that she was sitting on. “Heyyy, it’s okay, these conversations are needed. You’re a gem.” Lewis said, kissing her temple. Nadia turned to kiss him fully and when pulling away, she pecked his lips again.

“You’ll kill it today, I just know it.” She smiled.

Nadia, in fact, did not know it.

Her eyebrows were furrowed with her mouth slightly ajar as she watched her husband stand next to his car as he was knocked off the track by his own teammate. Watched as he crossed the track on foot, as they lifted the car from the gravel, as he walked through the garage with his helmet still on and his shoulders slumped in defeat, watched as he walked past her.

After what felt hours of silence sat in his driver’s room in complete shock, the man of the hour placed his cap on as he prepared to walk out of the driver’s room to the masses.

“Why’d you post that? Why’d you say you’re sorry?” Nadia finally spoke up, halting him from leaving just yet.

His hand was on the handle for a second before letting go. “Because I am. What happened out there was my fault.” He muttered, looking directly at her.

“Don’t actually piss me off, Lewis. What I saw, what the world saw? That was sickening. You can go out there and say how awful you feel for doing that to George and the team and how sorry you are but in this room? You cannot lie to my face like that.” Nadia crossed her arms, not wanting to come off as angry but it was getting worse.

“Nadia, you can’t possibly be mad at me for something I did. I was in the wrong. I need to go apologise to the team.” Lewis told her, fully facing the woman.

She took a breath, collecting her words. “They’re going to humiliate you. Do you understand how dehumanising that is?” Nadia asked, her throat feeling tight and her eyes prickly.

Lewis scoffed and looked away, scratching his beard. “I’m not doing this with you right now.”

“Lewis Hamilton, what the fuck happened out there? Tell me to my face what happened.” Nadia pointed in between her eyes, standing to her full height not breaking eye contact.

“George crashed into me. Fuck, is that what you want to hear?” He ran a hand down his face, not believing he actually admitted that out loud.

She let it linger in the air for a few moments. “Thank you. You can go and play superhero. You’ll know where to find me.” Turning away from him, she hopped back onto the bed and carried on with her sketches.

Licking his teeth and holding his breath, he looked at the ground and left the room filled with immense tension.

-

Hours. Hours passed and she hadn’t said a word to him. She watched as his phone buzzed with all sorts of supportive messages from friends and family. She sat in bed, staring at the bathroom door and waited for him to get out so she could sleep peacefully.

Lewis appeared with just his boxers on and his eyes immediately connected with hers and you could cut the tension with a knife. All he did was call her over with a tilt of his head and she was on her feet before she could even think about it. As soon as she was in front of him, his hand was splayed over her lower back and his other lifting her chin.

“What you did today…it was needed. I have to thank you for that, love.” He murmured, looking all over her face except her eyes and his thumb lightly brushing over her bottom lip.

With her mouth slightly open, he took the chance to slip his thumb into her mouth, immediately allowing her to melt into his arms. “You have to remember though, baby. You always have to remember…” He whispered, kissing her forehead.

Nadia nodding her head unconsciously, her eyes softening and just like that, she was putty in his hands.

-

AUSTIN, TEXAS

“Okay but think about it though! These cowboy boots are comfortable.” Nadia exclaimed to her friends as she leaned on the kitchen island.

Amara gave her friend the side eye. “Girl, trust me when I say you’ll regret saying all that at the end of the day.” The woman patted her face with setting powder, looking in the huge mirror just outside the kitchen.

The airbnb Tia rented for the weekend was abnormally large but it was able to fit the whole friend group in with some extra space. The sunlight shined through the floor to ceiling windows as the morning sun greeted Austin.

“The goal here was to look like a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader, Amara.” Nadia informed, her hands on her hips and her jewellery jangling.

In that moment, Natalia jogged down the stairs. “The actual goal here, besties, is to get to the track before we miss the performance or the race!” She exclaimed, fixing her dress then her hair. “Plus Andrew is saving us some bomb ass slushies.”

Nadia’s eyes widened, immediately running to her and Lewis’ room to get an alternative pair of shoes. “I feel like you should’ve mentioned that earlier, Nat!” She shouted as she bolted up the stairs.

The slushy was very refreshing under the Texan sun. The girls were right, the cowboy boots wouldn’t have worked out for the amount of walking and standing she had to do for this particular day.

Everything was going well, the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders performed so perfectly, Nadia even thought of potentially joining them one day but that seemed far fetched. The start of the race was smooth, knowing it was going to become a battle of some sort between Lewis and Charles. The guests in The 44 club were very hyped for the race and the vibes were just right.

That’s how Nadia knew something was too good to be true. Lewis had gotten on the podium with the biggest smile on his face as everyone celebrated around him. The celebrations continued into the evening, the friend group having a party of their own in the airbnb.

“I think we should come here for December, what do you think? Maybe Aspen?” Lewis asked his wife, laying his head on her shoulder as she held a smoothie in her hand, watching her friends play a board game that she checked out of a while ago.

“I’m not skiing though, I’ll watch you do your thing baby.” She smiled softly at the thought of spending Christmas with her new family.

Lewis hummed. “That’s good enough for me. Though…I might have to whisk us away somewhere special soon. I’ve got a surprise for you.” He hinted, a grin on his face that could light up the room.

“What on earth are you planning? You’re always up to something.” She giggled, barely thinking of what the surprise could be.

Miles stood up from the carpet with his phone in his hand, his jaw dropped a bit. “Mate, you got disqualified.” His usual loud voice going quiet as he showed his best friend the instagram post from F1.

All Lewis did was sigh. “I expected it. Today was going to be a bit too well with that damn car.” He scoffed in disbelief. “Maybe I should think about going red.” Lewis joked.

Nadia gasped and smacked his arm. “Lewis, you can’t say that!”

-

saint’s notes: heyyyyyyyy 🧍🏽‍♀️ i hope y’all enjoyed that 🥹. love y’all always. lmk what you think!

tags: @motheroffae @perfecttrashface @myescapefromthislife @slytherinjimin3nthusiast @jamie2305 @cocobutterqwueen @like-fire-love-blog @sugardontbesweet @simpfortoomanymen @mauvecherie-writes @queenshikongo3 @eugene-emt-roe @deepgothfiremuffin @18754389 @cherry2stems @anubisnoir @littlelizzies-world @httpsserene @apenasumlug4r @eddiesbitch83 @arshiyuh @alika-4466 @peyiswriting @sunfairyy @vsfavs @louvrepool @mistruscity @tian-monique @hopefulromantic1 @exotic-iris13 @yeea-nah @nichmeddar @gg-trini @lifeless-firefly @vellicora @takeoffz-tookoff9876 @serpenttines-library @emjayewrites @lewisroscoelove @purplelewlew @xoscar03 @kidsol-ar @nothaqks @tremendousstarlighttragedy @ggaslyp1 @henneseyhoe @saturnville

if your account is blank, that means tumblr can’t find you!

[redmiser]

choose you

pairing: taylor swift x fem!reader

warnings: angst with happy ending, argument, blood (cut hand on glass), crying

synopsis: taylor's fame has never posed a problem to you, but taylor doesn't seem to believe that.

word count: 1.2k

　　　.   　　˚　　 　　*　　 　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　˚　.˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　 　　 　　　　 　

when you started dating taylor, you were very aware of the fact that any wishful attempts for privacy were futile. you knew that the cameras and fans were ever-present wherever she stepped, but your preconceived ideas were still no match for the real situation.

that is why instances like these are still so outrageous to you. they truly did come out of nowhere—what seems to be a million of them. one second it was one fan, and the next it was a mob—a suffocating, endless mob.

“keep up,” she whispers lightly, moving past everyone with an agility only acquired after many years of practice. you giggle as she pulls you along; this is strangely romantic. she is clasping your hand as if you would dissipate if her fingers left yours for an instant.

“i’m trying,” you whisper back, still chuckling to yourself like a little girl. you look up at her face, expecting to find an expression akin to yours, but it seems to be quite the opposite.

she finally spots the black suv up ahead and thrusts you in front of her, throwing an arm around your waist and continuing to push you along. “don’t trip,” she practically barks at you, but you shrug it off. the novelty of the situation is very amusing to you, but you can understand why doing this for 18 years might cause it to lose its luster.

you arrive at the vehicle, and she hurriedly opens the door and shoves you inside. she wastes no time in following suit and closing the door. you sit in what seems like the quiet afterglow to you as the chauffeur drives away, only breaking the silence when you’ve regained your breath.

“guess we have to beat them off with a stick next time,” you joke as you pull out your phone to check your makeup. taylor doesn’t respond immediately, so you try again. “we could get a nerf gun and just—”

“this is what you signed up for.”

you turn to meet her gaze, genuine indignation etched on her face. you lick your lips and chuckle, not wanting to fully process what she said. “it was a joke, tay,” you shoot back, trying to ease the tension competing for air in the now seemingly cramped backseat.

“it’s not a joke to me. this is the reality of the situation,” her words are laced with a certain coldness you’ve never noticed before. your eyebrows furrow as she speaks; you can’t understand how you merited this reaction.

“i know, taylor. it was a joke, not that big of a deal. i don’t actually care.”

she scoffs at your response. “yeah, right.” she looks out the window to try dismissing the conversation, but you don’t accept that.

“yes, right. you’re making a big deal out of nothing, tay.”

you’re genuinely growing somewhat bitter by this point; you don’t understand why this is such a huge ordeal.

“you’re right, i’m sorry. i don’t want to talk about this anymore.” she takes your hand to her lips and plants a kiss on the back of it. when she lets go, she tosses her head back and closes her eyes. you decide to respect her wishes, but you can’t quite shake off the new strain on your shoulders.

you try to forget about it the rest of the ride to taylor’s house, but it is still fresh on your mind when you walk through the front door. you both toss your bags on the couch and continue to the kitchen, where taylor grabs a glass of water and you a protein bar. you blurt out your next words without thinking, just trying to get her to give the earlier conversation a satisfying ending.

“the day they invent invisibility suits, you need to invest in one, desperately.” as soon as you complete your thought, she slams her glass down on the counter, causing it to break.

she clenches her jaw, and you both realize that her hand is bleeding at the same time. “oh my god!” you rush to her side, but she swipes her hand away. “taylor, what the hell?”

she lifts her head, and she genuinely looks livid. “i told you to stop talking about it!” you can hear the pain in her voice, but it doesn’t seem to be stemming from her physical injury exclusively.

“well, i don’t understand why this is a problem! i’m just cracking a few jokes.” she snaps back in a mere second, shouting at you.

“because one day you’re going to stop thinking it’s funny!” she takes a sharp breath before continuing, quieter this time. “one day you’re going to realize it’s too much, and you’re going to leave.” her voice breaking with the last few words leaves matching scars on your heart, ones that you didn’t expect to gain today.

you brush her hair out of her face and force her to look at you with your hand.

“taylor, i’m never going to do that.”

a tear rolls down her cheek, making your own tears swell up in your eyes. “you are the love of my life, taylor alison swift. i want every bit of you. i will endure anything if it means getting to endure it with you.”

the tears are streaming down her face; the sight of her now bloodshot eyes finally makes you break, and you join her in crying. she grimaces and inhales before speaking again.

“what if you change your mind, y/n?” she chokes back a sob that breaks her sentence. “my biggest fear is you changing your mind.”

you wipe a tear from her face, to no avail, as more keep falling. you take a second to stare at her with a bittersweet smile on your lips.

“i’m never going to change my mind,” you kiss her. “do you want to know why i know that?”

“how?” she inquires, gazing into your eyes with a look you hope to never notice in her expression again.

“i know because i’ve experienced life without you,” you answer softly, your voice trembling, “and it is the single most unbearable thing i can think of.”

her expression softens at your words, and you instantly feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

“there’s nothing in this world that would ever make me want to go back to that. not a single camera or fan can make me let go of you. i don’t care if everyone watches our every move. i don’t care if it’s hard. i don’t care if we’re the subject of every headline. if it means getting to be with you, i will go through it all with a smile on my face. i will choose you every time, taylor. i love you.”

her tears have partially subsided by this point as you gently stroke her face. she takes your hand and plants a kiss on the back of it like she did earlier.

“i love you too, but are you sure?” she presses her lips together and furrows her brows lightly.

“i’m so sure it hurts,” you smile, wiping away the last of your tears before kissing her. you both seem to have forgotten her still bleeding hand until she winces and looks down.

“oh shit,” she exclaims, and her eyes widen.

“oh shit is right.” you bring her hand closer to your face and examine the cut. “let me take care of this for you.”

you look back up at her, and you lock eyes for a few seconds, exchanging a silent vow as the corners of her lips turn into a smile.

——————————————————————————

a/n: sorry it took so long to put this out, finals were crazy. anyway, all of that is over now and i'm on break, so i'll try to get out some more stories before going back to school. i hope you guys enjoy!

[starstruckmiraclekitty]

I've had a bit of brainrot today and have to share so I can get it out of my head (maybe) so feel free to ignore lol I've been thinking of 141 having a civilian spouse (separately, just in case there was confusion) that only ever refers to them by their call sign/rank during an emergency situation. Using it just immediately sets off sirens and they see red. - 🐍

Yesss. Got a bit carried away with this one, lol. Only did 141 specifically, lmk if you'd like to see anyone else! Also tried my best to make this GN!😊

141 With Reader Who Uses Their Callsign in Emergency Situation

Warnings: mentions of guns, violence, unwanted advances/touching, stalking, swearing, injury, crying--- I promise it has a good ending😅

Simon Ghost Riley-

"Golly, aren't you a fine looking thing." You heard a voice say behind you, as you were standing at the bar getting you and Simon another drink. Simon had just gone to the bathroom, so you knew you were on your own for this.

You turned around and were met with a man double your size, a sickening smile making its way on his face.

"Oh, thank you." You mustered a small smile before turning back to the bar, praying the man would take the hint and leave you alone.

"No, I mean it. I could take that little ass of yours home right now." The man came closer, and you could just start to feel his breath on your neck, making you cringe.

"I have a boyfriend, I'm sorry." You tried softly. You were desperate at this point, your eyes searching for Simon.

"I don't see him anywhere." The man smiled, his teeth were yellow, and his breath reeked of cheap booze.

"He just went to the restroom." You mumbled.

You felt a hand grope your ass slightly, squeezing at the flesh there. "Mmhmm, if I were your boyfriend, I'd never leave you unattended like this."

You cried out, moving to swat the guys hand away, to no avail. Nobody around you seemed to notice your predicament, and you were starting to grow scared.

The man pushed you up against the counter, his hand now gripping your waist. "Be a good little pet and come with me, okay?"

You struggled against his hold and screamed out, "Ghost!"

Simon, who had just exited the restroom, heard the wail and immediately started to run to you. What he saw had him seeing red.

He forced himself between you and the man and grabbed his hand roughly. "Who the fuck do you think you are touching them."

The man looked as if he was about to piss himself, as Simon was nearly a half foot taller and twice as bulky. "Sorry, man, they acted like they wanted it."

Simon seethed and twisted the man's wrist with such force that you swore you heard bones cracking. "Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. Here. Before I decide to do something that'll end with me in jail."

The man let out a small whimper, grabbed his now bruised hand and ran for the door.

Simon watched as he fled, then turned his attention to you, his eyes softening. "Y/N? Sweetheart, are you okay?"

Your eyes filled with tears as you threw yourself into Simon's chest. "Thank you, Si."

"You don't have to thank me. That's what I'm here for, yeah? Why won't we go home, I'll draw you a bath." He pulled away and cupped your cheeks, carefully pressing a soft kiss to your temple.

You nodded your head slowly and let Simon lead you out of the bar, not expecting him to crouch down on the ground once you made it outside. "Si?"

"Cmon, get on my back. Long way to the car." He gestured to his back and helped you on it, holding your legs tightly as he walked you to his car. He'd be damned if he ever let anything like that happen again to his person.

Kyle Gaz Garrick-

You were walking around your local department store one afternoon with Kyle, looking to find him some new dress shirts. The two of you had a friends wedding to attend that weekend, and Kyle didn't have many outfits to pick from.

"What about this one?" You picked out a light blue stripped dress shirt, holding it up for Kyle to see.

"I'll look like a grandpa with that one, babe." He joked, waiving away the shirt.

"You'd be a hot grandpa." You countered, putting the shirt back.

"Oh hush. I gotta run to the restroom, I'll be right back." He chuckled as he gave your arm a squeeze. You watched him walk away with a small smile before returning to the racks in front of you.

Unbeknownst to you, there was a gentleman who'd been following you and Kyle around the store for some time now, and now that Kyle was gone, it was the perfect opportunity to strike.

You were just rounding the next row of racks when the man came up behind you and started to pull on your purse. You cried out, trying to pull back, but the man was too strong. He yanked with one mighty tug, ripping the purse from your arm, and shoved you backward, sending you toppling into the racks behind you.

"GAZ!" You screamed, as the man stared at you, frozen, before turning the other way and running.

Kyle was walking toward you when he heard you scream, and his blood ran cold. He immediately sprinted in your direction, running right into the man with your purse. The man fell backward, and Kyle looked down to see him clutching your purse.

He put his foot on the man's stomach and pushed down hard. "Give me the fucking purse, asshole."

The man refused and tightened his grip on your bag. Kyle saw red and promptly punched the man square in the jaw, knocking him out cold. He grabbed your purse as a few workers finally came to check on the commotion.

Kyle looked to see you clutching your head in pain. He ran over to you, sliding to a crouch position once he got to you. "Baby! Are you okay?"

Your bottom lip trembled as a strangled cry escaped your throat, and Kyle grabbed you, pulling you to his chest. He had to talk himself down from going and giving the man another few punches.

He tucked his arm underneath your legs and lifted you up bridal style. "I'm so sorry, babe. I've got you. Let's go home. Yeah?"

Kyle spent the rest of the night watching over you and icing the bruise that formed on your head. He made a silent vow that day, that he'd beat the ever loving shit out of anyone who dared touch his baby again.

John Price-

BANG!

You looked up from your computer in your home office at the sound of the loud noise. It was late at night, and John was asleep, so you were concerned as to what caused the sound. You grabbed the pocket knife out of your drawer and made your way quietly to investigate.

Peeking your head around the doorway, you saw a large man making his way through your shared home with your husband. It appeared he'd somehow broken in through the front door.

You let out a small whimper, the confidence you had before now fading. John was fast asleep upstairs, and you had no way to get to him without revealing yourself.

You watched silently as the man started to rummage in your drawers, trying to find anything valuable he could take.

He started to draw closer to where you were, and as you slowly crept backward, the floorboards creaked underneath you.

The man was immediately notified of your presence and caught a glimpse of you as you tried to hide around the corner.

"Hey! You!" He shouted, immediately running toward you.

You sprinted in the other direction, narrowly missing his outstretched hand. You ran into the bathroom in the hallway and tried to close the door before a hand came out to stop it.

"Nowhere to run now." He said, a terrifying smile lining his face.

"PRICE!" You screeched, your heart beating rapidly.

John's eyes flew open at the sound of your terrified cry. With adrenaline coarsing through his veins, he flung himself out of bed and grabbed his handgun from his bedside table. He slowly crept down the stairs and took in his surroundings.

He saw you right away, crouched in terror before a man, who had you at gunpoint. John swiftly made his way behind the man before hitting him hard on the back of his head with the butt of his gun.

The man fell limply to the floor, and you let out a strangled sob. "John."

"Hey love, it's alright. I'm here." He approached you slowly, his hands raised up to show you he meant no harm. You held your arms out to him, and he pulled you into him, holding you tight. "I've got you. Nobody's going to hurt you."

He pulled away for just a moment to call the cops but held a grip firm on your waist, letting you know he wasn't ever going to let anything happen to you.

Johnny Soap MacTavish-

"Alright, babe, I'll run and grab the stuff at the bottom half of the list. You grab top?" Johnny asked, eyeing your fairly large grocery list.

"Sounds good, thanks, love." You smiled at him and tore the list in half, sending him on his way after a quick peck.

You watched as he strolled away, basket in hand, and made for the toiletry section of the store.

You were comparing toothpastes when you felt two men staring at you. You subtly turned your head in their direction, and they quickly looked anywhere but your direction.

You felt a slight sinking feeling in your belly and quickly threw one of the toothpastes in your cart. You made for the next aisle, looking around deoderant for you and Johnny, when the same two men appeared again, walking slowly down the aisle toward you.

Trying to brush off the occurrence as a coincidence, you threw what you needed in the cart and started to make your way to the shampoo aisle. Your resolve quickly crumbled when you now realized the men were following you.

The store was rather empty, so there was nobody close by for you to turn to. You sped your cart up and headed in the direction you thought Johnny might be. The men were hot on your tail, making it clear they were trying to get to you.

You felt one of their hands touch your back, and you let out a cry. "SOAP!"

Johnny was just finishing up his portion of the list when he heard your scream. His heart was beating rapidly as he dropped the basket and ran to you.

"Y/N?" He called out and was met with a horrifying sight. You were cornered in one of the aisles by two men and were crying, your hands up in a defensive motion as you crouched on the floor.

Johnny immediately approached. "Leave my partner the fuck alone."

The two men whipped their heads in his direction, rubbing their hands together. It was clear they were looking for a fight. Johnny lifted his shirt slightly, revealing his sidearm strapped to his waist. "Try it, I fucking dare you. You won't like the outcome."

The men clearly knew better than to create such a scene in a store and decided to flee.

Johnny watched as they ran and crouched down to your level. "Baby. Are you okay?"

You choked out a sob and wrapped your arms around your husband. "I was so scared, Johnny."

Johnny gritted his teeth in anger, he hated that anyone made you feel this way. It took everything in him not to go chasing after those bastards.

"I know, baby. I'm here now, though. Why don't we quickly finish up this trip and grab some takeout, yeah? I'm not really feeling up to cooking anymore." He pulled your face away gently and stroked your tears away. "I've got you, always, okay?"

You nod slowly and let him help you up. He grabbed your hand, lacing his fingers with yours, not letting go until you both reached the car.

[saltpepperbeard]

OBLIGATORY COMPLETE OFMD SEASON 2 TEASER THOUGHTS AND SPECULATION POST™

Okay, to start off, I cannot BELIEVE we got this. I cannot BELIEVE we got a voiceover of Stede's note to Ed. We were all thinking it. We were all hoping for it. I CANNOT BELIEVE WE LEGITIMATELY GOT TO SEE AND HEAR HIS LOVE RIGHT OFF THE BAT. HE LOVES HIS ED SO SO MUCH.

Followed by this shot right as Stede is narrating. It's difficult to tell, but it seems like Ed??? The one-armed jacket and the fact that it's layered with Stede's narration makes me quite certain it's him. But ALONE??? AND COMING OUT OF THE SURF??? (There's a shot later that has me PARTICULARLY raising eyebrows at this moment. I'm thinking that he fell off the boat/was lost in that one storm shown later, and Stede of course is going to dive in after him or attempt to get to him in some sort of dramatic way. Which makes me think he and Stede are going to potentially talk feelings/reconcile on the beach)

And the fight choreography of this. Are you actually kidding me right now. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. GETTING TO SEE ED ABSOLUTELY KICKING ASS IN COMBAT??? NEVER IN A THOUSAND YEARS DID I EXPECT TO SEE A SHOT LIKE THIS BUT I'M HOLLERING SO HARD OVER IT (NOT TO MENTION, AGAIN, LOOKING AT THIS AND A LATER SHOT..........I'LL SCREAM ABOUT MY THOUGHTS WHEN SAID SHOT APPEARS HSKDLS)

Oh, they're PINING pining. They're YEARNING yearning. They're GAY gay.

They want to be back with each other so so so bad I'm losing my mind <3

"Fuck you, Stede Bonnet." The way he's JUST as dramatic as we were all thinking. The way he's hurting in a way WE ALL ANTICIPATED. LIKE, YOU HATE TO SEE IT, BUT MAN DSJKLDSSDKL. Also, the contrast of him saying that vs Stede's voice over is so so insane. The editors are INSANE FOR THAT ONE.

AGAIN, GOING BONKERS OVER ED'S CHARACTERIZATION BECAUSE HE SEEMS EXACTLY HOW I ANTICIPATED. Outwardly, angry, hardened, and cold. Inwardly, heartbroken, desperate, and wanting nothing more than to be back with Stede. Because hello, HELLO, HE'S NOTCHED WHAT I ASSUME TO BE HIS NUMBER OF DAYS WITHOUT STEDE IN THE WALL??????

HI OLU HELLO OLU MY DEAR DARLING OLU

but also screaming and crying and throwing up because this is ALSO what i was anticipating/hoping for. the crew being like "ummmmm lmao captain?? you really think you've got this under control???"

"You think Blackbeard's going to murder you?" I THINK NOT BECAUSE WHAT IS HE EVEN SHOOTING AT JSLDKS. OFF TO THE SIDE??? A WARNING SHOT????? Also the lighting of this and his look matches the ending shot so I'm very eyes emoji at this entire thing.

HOWEVER...

"MURDERER THRICE OVER?????????????"

Like sorry, that sign won't stop me because I can't read. Look at him. LOOK at him. You're telling me he stole the wedding cake toppers so he could PAINT HIMSELF ON THE BRIDE??? SO HE COULD MAKE HIMSELF INTO THE BEAUTIFUL BRIDE HE WANTS TO BE????? SO THAT HE COULD PLAY PRETEND MARRIAGE BETWEEN HIMSELF AND STEDE???????

INSANE!!!

INSANE FOR THIS!!!!!!

Again, bonkers editing. The split screen. The CONTRAST between Stede's hopefulness and Ed's depression. The WAY THEY LINED IT UP TO MAKE ED LOOK LIKE HE'S TAKING AIM AT STEDE. THE WAY THIS PROBABLY PERFECTLY ENCAPSULATES THEIR CHARACTERIZATION IN THE FIRST FEW EPISODES HSDJKLSDS LIKE BITING THE EDITORS BITING THEM BITING THEM

ALSO ED AND ALL OF HIS GUNS,,, NINE GUNS???????

It kills me because he's probably being exactly what he thinks people see him as. He's probably like "Oh, you want a monster? I'll give you a monster."

WHICH,,,, NO, HONEY. YOU'RE A SWEETHEART, SORRY ABOUT IT.

AND THEN LOOK AT THEM. LOOK AT OUR DARLINGS!!! FANG'S FUCKING SPIKES ARE SO METAL. FRENCHIE'S WOLVERINE COSPLAY SHDJKLSHDLKS. JIM!!! JIM JIM MY BELOVED JIM, AND THEIR PAINTED BEARD. THEIR GENDER!!!!!!!

Honey hsdksjds the drama of it all. THE DRAMA. CRASHING WEDDINGS TO DISRUPT LOVE BECAUSE YOUR OWN WAS DISRUPTED??? SIIIIIIRRRR THE THEATRICS, THE SPICE OF IT ALL

excuse me ma'am that is a gay man shdkjshkls THAT IS A GAY MAN. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING,,,

kiss me instead like wtf

OKAY NOW THIS,,,

THIS.

PRESIDENTIAL ALERT: THE BABYGIRL IS FIGHHHTTTTIIIING

BUT IZZY WATCHING ON??? IZZY????????????

I have Genuine Thoughts™ about this. I have a feeling that the big arc/character development Con mentioned might pertain to him like, REALIZING what's important, and what Ed actually wants and needs. And a good chunk of that will be him realizing the consequences of his actions, and maybe potentially wanting to undo the damage. And also, in his Bitchy Izzy Ways™, he might also get very very tired of Ed's sulking/theatrics and want to rectify things for that reason too.

So I feel like he's going to sort of team up with Stede and show him the ropes for that reason?? So they ALL can work towards betterment???

WHICH IS NUTS LMAO. NEVER EVER EXPECTED THAT.

REGARDLESS, GO STEDE BABY GO!!!

HI REVENGE HELLO REVENGE PLEASE DON'T DO ANYTHING DRASTIC LIKE EXPLODE OR ANYTHING PLEASE BABYGIRL <3

yeah yeah the titties we've all seen them.

BUT AGAIN, AGAIN, STEDE OFF TO THE SIDE. STEDE WATCHING. STEDE LEARNING THE ROPES FROM THE MOST UNEXPECTED PERSON EVER SHDJKSDS LIKE WHAT!!!

AND HEEEEEEERE WE GO. HERE'S THE SHOT I WAS REFERRING TO EARLIER.

THE SAME BLACK SAND BEACH. FIGHTING THE BRITISH. ED AND STEDE. ED WITHOUT HIS MAKEUP ON. STEDE IN A DIFFERENT OUTFIT.

ARE THEY BOTH,,, FIGHTING TO GET TO EACH OTHER??? FIGHTING THROUGH CROWDS AND ENEMIES TO GET TO EACH OTHER'S SIDES???????

WHAT IF THEY FIGHT TO EACH OTHER AND THEN KISS HUH???

WHAT THEN.

HIIIIIIYYYAAAA JACKIE <33333

ALSO HELLO IS THAT THE SWEDE BEHIND HER???????

EXPLOSIONS FIRE EXPLOSIONS EXPLOSIONS FEELING VERY WEE JOHN CODED RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

AND THIS IS YET ANOTHER SHOT I WAS REFERRING TO EARLIER,,,

LIKE UHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WITH ED ON THE BEACH, AND THIS SHOT OF SOMEONE FALLING INTO THE WATER,,,,,,

I HAVE A FEELING THAT ED IS GOING TO DO SOMETHING THAT ENDS WITH HIM FALLING OFF THE BOAT. MAYBE HE TRIES TO SAVE SOMEONE???

if he fights to save stede from going overboard or something equivalent i'm going to eat all the tiles off my floor <3

LIKE IT'S BAD BESTIES. IT'S BAD. IT'S DIRE. THE WATER IS SO FUCKING HIGH AND THEY'RE IN A STORM AND JIM IS SCREAMING AND I AM ALSO SCREAMING!!!

But then also, LOOK AT FUCKING WEE JOHN!!! IN DRAG!!! HE'S A FUCKING MERMAID!!! JIM ISN'T A MERMAID???? WELL, THAT'S FINE--WEE JOHN IS!!! LIVING HIS BEST FUCKING LIFE!!!!! AND WHAT IF HE MADE THAT COSTUME HIMSELF SJDKSDJLS <3

AND THE FINAL SHOT I'M CHOOSING, THE FINAL ONE OF THE SET,,, MATCHES UP WITH THAT LIGHTING EARLIER.

WHO ARE WE FIGHTING, ED BABE. WHAT'S THE TEA. WHO ARE YOU CLOBBERING.

IS IT US?

IT'S PROBABLY US.

BECAUSE THIS ENTIRE THING HAS ME SO SO SO DEAD Y'ALL

[tinylilacbun]

How about the scene where Barry jumps? the Pogues for the gold but little reader or maybe reader is a little sibling of one of them is there too?

Pogue Experience

Pairing: brother!jj maybank x toddler!sister!reader

Warnings: heavy angst, like I'm not joking this fic is heavy considering the reader is a toddler in this one so be aware!! Mention of guns, shouting, fighting, crying

A/N: so...I dunno how to defend this one. Enjoy!

͝ ⏝𝅄︶ ͝ ⏝ ⊹ ⏝ ͝ ︶𝅄⏝ ͝

After they made their way to the pawn shop and got told to drive to a warehouse they had to make little stop before that.

That's how the Twinkie is now standing in front of the entrance from the kindergarten, JJ leaning against the van with his arms crossed as he's waiting for you to come out.

Soon children began to pile out, pushing at each other to get to their parents and JJ squats down to catch you in his awaiting arms. "What's up, kiddo. Had fun today?"

"Uh-huh! We- uh we mades bracelets. Here look!" You smile, holding different selfmade and colorful bracelets up into his face, giggling at the way his eyes crossed to focus on them.

"Oh, wow, that's cool." He says, copying your smile and it only grows when you slip one of the bracelets on his wrists. "That's for me? No way."

You nod your head, squealing when he tickles your sides before hoisting you onto Sarah's lap in the front passenger seat, buckling you both with the only functional buckle of the Twinkie, your safety his top priority.

You turn your head and wave at the others happily, giving each of them their own bracelet, blushing at all the praises and compliments you get for your handiwork.

As John B starts the Twinkie the pogues get engrossed back to their previous conversation.

"So they keep money out here?" Pope asks as he observes the passing scenery.

"That's what she said." JJ answers, poking your side and Sarah bats his hand while you give him the cutest glare he's ever seen as he chuckles, turning his head back to Pope. "That's what she said."

"Stop." Pope instantly cuts him off.

"I have never even heard of Resurrection Drive." Sarah speaks up, braiding some of your hair.

"It's 'cause you're rich." JJ mutters, fumbling with the gold in his hands.

"You've never heard of it either." Kie interjects, looking outside. "There's nothing but weeds back here..."

"All right just cause it's just weeds, doesn't mean it's, like..." JJ starts when he's suddenly cut off by a siren behind them.

"Cops? Out here?"

"God! Are you kidding me?" JJ raises his voice and you tense up slightly on Sarah's lap.

"What did we do?" She asks, rubbing your back to keep you calm.

As the others hastily talk to each other, JJ wraps the gold into a cloth to hide in the seat he sat on and everyone goes silent by the sound of a gun cocking.

John b turns his head to see Barry point a shotgun at him, half of his face covered by a mask.

"Why don't I go ahead and see them hands in the air? Right now. All y'all's hand up in the air right now!" He shouts and you flinch, covering your ears out of instinct starting to tear up from fear as Barry addresses John b again. "You, out of the car! let's go!"

John b slowly climbs out, keeping his hands up to not trigger him in any way.

"Out of the car! Let's go! Hurry!" Barry presses, pointing at the Twinkie. "Let them out."

"Jay..." You whimper, your hands still pressed to your ears, feeling Sarah tightening her hold on you.

JJ carefully moves closer to you, placing his hands over yours. "Shh, you're okay, nothing's gonna happen, yea? Just keep lookin' at me."

You could faintly make out what he's saying, nodding your head as the tears started to flow down your cheeks when the door slides open.

"Go on! Go on! Let's get out of the car! Let's go!" Barry keeps shouting and slowly the others start to get out, that's where he just noticed that a god damn four year old is present and he curses under his breath.

JJ quickly takes you from Sarah, holding you protectively he places a hand to the back of your head to keep your face pressed into his neck as you keep crying. "Good job for traumatizing a child-"

"Shut the hell up!" Barry yells at him, the gun still held up.

"All right! All right!" JJ shouts back while John b goes to stand in front of you both to shield you from any possible outcome.

"Lay down in the ditch! Lay down in the ditch! On your goddamn hands and knees! Down!" He screams at you all.

Slowly but surely all of them sink to their knees. JJ does too, carefully setting you on the ground. "Just do the same when dad always gets loud, yea? Y'know, like hidin' under your bed."

You nod while sobbing, shaking like a leaf you lay down on your stomach and JJ wraps an arm around your small body to pull you close, kissing your head to let you know he's there and that he'll make sure that nothing happens to you.

When Barry is sure you all are staying on the ground he searches the Twinkie for the gold.

"It's a set-up, guys." Kie says, her voice trembling.

"That old bat shanked us." JJ grumbles, his arm tight around your frame to keep you grounded as you whimper. "Shh...I gotcha, I'm here."

John b slowly gets up when he sees that Barry is still occupied with looking, despite the others warning him in hushed whispers.

You turn your head, scared for the one person you've seen as a brother since the day you could remember and watch him run towards Barry's car, whimpering sadly. "Bee..."

"Bee we'll be fine." JJ quickly assures you. "I promise."

Just in that moment Barry gets back out of the van. "All right, y'all stay just like that."

As he walks back to his car JJ lifts his head, now just as scared for his best friend and sits up when he sees John B now trying to overpower Barry.

"Guys! I got the gun!" John b yells and JJ quickly jumps onto his feet, handing you over to Pope to help John b.

Pope makes sure you don't see what's happening as the others all give Barry a nice a well deserved beating, rushing the car to get the gold all the while holding you on his hip. "I got the gold!"

He rounds the car to give Barry one last kick, sending him hitting the side of his car with a grunt.

Pope lets you back down and before you could go and kick Barry too JJ picks you up again, holding your flailing body. "We are not gonna do that. Calm down, kid. Let the adults handle this, a'ight?"

You huff and JJ turns you in his arms so you're sat on his hip, holding onto his shirt with all your might, smushing your face in his shoulder.

John b leans down to push Barry's mask down and JJ bristles at recognizing him. "I know this piece of shit! He's a basehead!"

"Probably knows my brother." Sarah sighs.

"He sells coke to our dad." JJ says angrily, leaning down to fish Barry's wallet out of his pocket, looking at the address on his ID. "We got one last stop."

JJ is breathing heavily, carrying you back to the Twinkie with the others following suit, ignoring Barry shouting after you all.

He looks down at your tear strained face, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "I'm sorry. I'm so damn sorry, kiddo."

Taglist

For everything:

@my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc @lovelyy-moonlight @yoruse

@mythixmagic @iris-xoxo-juhu

For JJ:

@chiaraanatra @chimindity @flora-eva

[razorblade180]

Team Building

Weiss:Team building game. Say a compliment you had for someone when you were getting to know them, then a compliment for them after knowing them for a while. I’ll start. Blake, I admire your calmness.

Blake:And after you got to know me?

Weiss:You’re bravery.

Blake:….We shouldn’t play this game. We are going to cry.

Weiss:We will be fine.

Jaune:Weiss, I admired how smart and diligent you were.

Weiss:Thank you. And what do you admire now?

Jaune:Your kindness.

Weiss:…*tears up* Wait, fuck. Hold on. Shit, why did that hit hard!? *wiping eyes*

Yang:I don’t want to play this game.

Ren:I admired your compassion. Today, I praise your loyalty to your love ones.

Yang:Fuck you too man. *smiffles*

Ruby:Nora-

Nora:No.

Ruby:I adored your strength.

Nora:Cool.

Ruby:Now I speak about your wisdom, and all its insight.

Nora:*nods*….*tears up* Oh gods, here it comes.

Blake:Ren, your commitment is also something to be appreciated. These days, I really admire your ability to change. You’re never stagnant,

Ren:Th-Thank you Blake.

Jaune:Ruby, your drive to do what’s right is always something I admire.

Ruby:A….And now?

Jaune:It still is.

Ruby:….

Jaune:Not everyone can stick your guns like you do.

Ruby:* lip quivers* Th-That’s so cheating. *hides face* You can’t just say that to me!

Nora:You think you’re so clever, making sure everyone is a mess so nobody can compliment you.

Jaune:*offers tissues*

Nora:I’ve always admired your determination, but I think it’s worth noting just how much faith you have in us.

Jaune:I’m-I’m a leader.

Ren:You’re a believer.

Ruby:A gentle soul.

Jaune:…I’m keeping these tissues now.

Oscar:*opens door* Hey! Em and I are back with the fo- what is happening.

Everyone:*crying*…..Feelings.

Emerald:…Nope. *closes door*

[slamminslamminmcgill]

all im saying is ✨Logan with a knot✨ and Wade overstimulating you bc you cant get away -🦐

shrimp anon more like shrimp COLORS bro your vision is INSANE!!!!!!

soooo idk conventional a/b/o rules and i kinda don't care so im picturing a heat cycle as once a month endeavour. and bc you're on T you're a HORNY motherfucker and you're angry and violent so it's basically whoever can get their hands on you or knot in you first will take care of you. then as long as you get bred at least once you're fine. then you calm down and it's big aftercare hours bc your post-heat clarity endorphins are going CRAZY

now since your heat only comes once a month, wade treats it as a special occasion. and it wouldn't be fair of him to do the honors EVERY month, now would it?

so even though he's home with you, and logan's not, and won't be for a while, wade wilson will refuse to fuck you. it's not his turn. he did it last month.

and your heat is MISERABLE. imagine the worst period cramp you ever had, combined with hot flashes, searing rage, and it gives your cunt the sensitivity of a fucking bear trap. you'll clamp down on anything that touches you.

so no matter how much you suffer. no matter if you scream, cry, beg, grovel, bite, or commit acts of gratuitous violence against him.

he will hold out.

he will hold out until logan gets home and finds you naked, cuffed to the bed by your hands and ankles, a chewy ball-gag in your mouth getting crushed by your gritting teeth, and wade's holding a wand vibrator to your cunt.

he waves gayly at logan, "hey pinkie pie, merry christmas! wanna come open your gift?"

"jesus christ, are you fucking torturing him?! the hell is wrong with you?!"

"with ME?! where's your holiday spirit?"

logan just stares at him blankly, puzzled by what this psychotic dipshit could possibly be talking about. in response, and in the spirit of the season, wade sings him a song.

"🎼it's the mooost wonderful tiiiiime, of the mooonth~!🎵"

now he gets it.

"oh... okay. so then why did you tie him down like that?"

"well, we had a little INCIDENT earlier..."

--

you had managed to grab one of wade's guns and shot him in the chest

"OW!!! you RESOURCEFUL little shit!!! GRRR, oh~ mysweetboybabydarling i'msoproudofyou, butnoi'mnot, BAD BOY!!!"

--

"no, i mean why didn't you take care of him your-fucking-self, wilson? you really gotta make this my problem as soon as i walk in the fuckin' door?"

"your PROBLEM?! i hand you some prime-time, limited-edition, hot and bothered, ripe for the breeding, tranny boy BUSSY on a silver platter, and that's somehow NOT where your dick wants to spend its evening? am i hearing that right? please tell me i'm not. please tell me you're not this stupid, pookie bear."

instead of arguing back, logan goes quiet. he's thinking. and then, he laughs. that low, husky laugh that you have when you're marveling at the nerve of whatever dumb motherfucker is talking to you. or maybe, when that dumb motherfucker is making a point.

"heh... y'know what? fine." logan angrily strips his clothes off, one by one. his tanktop, "you want me to be the one to knot him? huh?" his belt, his jeans "can't do anything yourself, can ya?" and lastly, his boxers. then he grabs his cock and shakes it at wade.

"so then get me hard, you faggot." he clicks his tongue twice. "c'mon."

wade throws himself at logan's knees and gives him that gawkgawk4000turbotyphoon treatment to get him up. logan sighs in relaxation, grateful that wade was putting his mouth to such better use. once his eyes flutter open, he nods at you, finally giving you even a modicum of attention while you're under intense distress, and he merely waves at you nonchalantly, like how a pedestrian does to a car that lets him cross.

"hang tight, bub. be with ya in a second."

wade works him over until his knot is just barely starting to swell. he then takes his fattened cock and slaps wade across the face with it.

"take his chains off."

"hm... are you sure you want me to do that, princess? he's feisty, y'know. might get yourself bit, if you're not careful."

logan slaps wade again, but this time it's a bitchslap, using the back of his hand. and his claws.

"take. his fucking. chains off."

"mmm, right AWAY, your majesty~!"