#oh no end of 2020 i finished a long one just in december

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

i am once again writing fanfic on new years eve

[vgperson]

What Did I Do In 2023?

Whatever I wanted, mostly.

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As I mentioned last year, my site now has an RSS feed with basically everything I've done back to 2020, so this will mainly be going over the same stuff from that, just with added context.

In January, I finally sat down and properly realized an idea for a short story I'd had sitting around for a while: From the Sidelines, about a fantasy RPG expedition going sideways. I remain very proud of it in both concept and execution, and hope people read it.

In February, Your Turn To Die was released on Steam Early Access, receiving character profiles and some bonus mini-episodes, adding two more later in the year.

After finishing From the Sidelines, I carried that momentum to revisit my Ut0p1a story series about funny computer animals. I'd always meant to continue it - and conclude it - but hadn't been satisfied with the ideas I had for it until totally rethinking them this year. In March, I posted the remaining stories one after another: Right to Code and Left to Code. I'm very proud of these as well. Also in March, Kenshi Yonezu released LADY. (Video, interview)

In April, Uri released the Data Book of the Strange Men Series, a big collection of the writing she's done on the games in the series, with a lot of new parts as well, all translated by me.

Then in May... uh, well, let's see. In April, Capcom released the Mega Man Battle Network Legacy Collection. I always adored the Battle Network games, and was initially excited that they finally did the thing... but by the time it came out, I was pretty disappointed by how, while you certainly couldn't call them low-effort ports, the effort didn't extend everywhere I thought it should, with the biggest offenders being the total absence of any "convenience features" except Buster Max Mode, the bad font, and the almost entirely untouched translations.

So, I ended up deciding I might as well just replay the originals, and that was a fun time (aside from the parts that were bad). Doing this, I couldn't help but notice how... turbulent the translations were, even if I'd always known they were less than ideal. I mean, the first two games just used periods for ellipses despite the tight character limits, then in BN3 they had an ellipsis character... but it's center-aligned, Japanese-style? Aside from the intro, which has normal ones? Gosh, somebody should fix that - it's simple enough to find and edit in YY-CHR. "JapanMan" is silly, too - I wonder if anybody made a patch for that? Wait, what do you mean there's just a tool to extract and insert text in all the Battle Network games including the Legacy Collection???

Thus began a journey that sort of occupied the rest of my year. First I did the BN3 Translation Revision, trying not to worry too much about cross-referencing the Japanese text unless something seemed wrong, so that I didn't spend too long on the project. Then I began to consider BN2, with its unfortunate "foreigner" text that would need some more significant reworking. I established more convenient tools for comparing with the Japanese script, and thus did a much more thorough job with it, releasing the BN2 Translation Revision in June (AKA Princess Pride Month).

Finally, after giving myself time to recover and actually finish replaying the series, I knew what I had to do to close things out. With the BN4 Translation Revision, you can finally play Battle Network 4 with a translation that isn't such a mess. Whether you'd want to is for you to decide, though if you can get over the structure, I don't think it's the worst game in the series by any means. (Oh, and in December I also updated the BN3 Revision to 1.1, doing a thorough pass with the methods I'd honed. But I think I'm pretty much good on MMBN translations now.)

Anyway, backtracking to other things that happened during my Battle Network haze... June had Kenshi Yonezu's Moongazing (video, interview), and July had Globe (video, interview, interview).

Last but not least, released in November, I translated Refind Self: The Personality Test Game, a short game from Lizardry (creator of 7 Days to End with You) with a fun concept.

----

Obviously I was right to have said "no promises" last year. But really, Your Turn To Die should get its final part on Steam sometime next year, maybe even early-ish in it. That's certainly the goal.

I'm also hoping to buckle down and finish one of my own games, but as usual, who knows how that'll pan out. Letting my whims carry me this year let me finally finish From the Sidelines and Ut0p1a, which was great, and it also led me down a Battle Network rabbit hole, which was... fine, but definitely for a narrower audience. I'd always like to get back to more free game translations and the like, too, but it takes effort to find things I'd want to translate. For now, I think my increasing desire to be able to let loose some of these original games I've been planning, and the stories in them, might come out on top.

[dorkfruit]

i put this together using my computer's trackpad so the new year is already starting out . bad .

posts: J | F | M | A | M | J | J | A | S | O | N | D

template

reflections on the year, my plans for the future, some studies i did, and wips for the next year all down below for those who are interested

tldr; we will be ianthing next year so watch out!!

oh dear lord it's been another year. 2024! can you believe it! i don't talk much on this blog because i have a tendency to talk too much, but it's my little new year's treat, so here we go.

RECAP

i started taking drawing "seriously" in December of 2020, starting to do studies and stuff, and each year since i've ramped it up more and more. this year, i did. a lot of studies. there's probably like at least 200 more in my folder now (not including the 300 days worth of gesture drawings i did), with things like painting, faces, feet, poses, etc. anything i was struggling with, i went right into studying it. my art has been mediocre for a pretty long time now, and it's only the past few months where i feel i'm starting to get the hang of it, which is exciting!

more importantly, i started posting a lot more on this blog. i really like documenting my progress, looking on where i was before and seeing how i've improved. everytime i draw some fanart, im like, oooghh i can't wait to show my (: followers (: !! lots of locked tomb art of course. i've been trying to nail the energy of the different characters, which is why i enjoy books so much, because you get a lot of creative control. drawing ianthe is my fav of course, cause she's my lil nasty, but also i enjoyed doing designs for characters i hadnt thought about before, like judith.

in addition to the locked tomb, we had some new fandoms that got brief moments in between iantheposting: Fear and Hunger, Postal, Faith The Unholy Trinity, and a couple of old ones too, like We Have Always Lived In The Castle and The Merciless.

i posted about 115 times this year, although most of those are shitposts LOL i love posting stuff on my blog and showing people my stuff <3

THE FUTURE

my plans? do more ianthe art, of course. ill be working on more studies, probably going to work on developing a style, and figuring out how to paint. i'd like to do more actually finished pieces, but let's be honest, it'll still be mostly shitpost doodles. i'd like to do more weird stuff. i've been messing around with some gore and NSFW near the end of the year, and it's fun to draw for me. i like idk art that evokes some type of emotion, especially discomfort, and so i find that type of art fun to do, so if you don't enjoy what i've done thus far in that direction, perhaps this isn't the blog for you. i really like horror media, and so i want to do some stuff like that too.

for specifics, i like western type art, a comic book-esque style i'd like to aim for. but i'd like it to be a little more. weird with it. i find comic books often draw all the characters the same, and make all the characters traditionally attractive, and that's boring to me so i'll have to work on finding a way to keep things weird, while also appealing in a graphic sense. the worst thing my art could be is bland and forgettable.

locked tomb wise... more tridentarii art. need to be really weird with it. i have lots of wips planned, like i have a whole page worth of just thumbnails, so i wanna get some of those done. also i had a few animatics i wanted to do. mostly stupid shit, once i learn how to do animatics, then we'll do actual serious ones. id also like to do more comics. i have some comics storyboarded out with my girlies, i like telling a story so, need practice on that. id also like to develop a way to consistently draw them, for convenience sakes, so i'm not fighting for my life every single time i draw these characters. oh and i wanna do some outfit stuff. i draw them in like. generic clothes everytime but i'd like to come up with a few actual outfit designs, that i can just reference back to. and, of course, more shitposts. lots of stupid shit in 2024 for sure. there was something else i wanted to say here but i can't remember.

ART

oki enough rambling, here's some IMAGES for yall to look at i know everyone loves to look at images.

began this year by warming up with gesture sketches (almost) every day. i started with 20 poses (30 seconds each), and then in november i was like. ugh my hands suck i need to get better at hands, so i switched to doing 10 hand sketches (60 seconds each). i want my art to be very energetic so it's important that i do these !!

anatomy studies of extremities because i'm flopping at those -_- ive gotten better with hands but they're still a struggle. i hate feet tho still

need to get my painting game up. i joined an art forum to get advice, and the biggest suggestion i got was working on my values, so i did various value studies. also lots of faces because my faces flop !!

random doodles to work on drawing from imagination. on my "sketchbook" pages, as i like to call them, i'm usually pretty loose and messy, since the point is just to be drawing so often these will suck, but that's fine. i don't think very much when i draw faces on here either so they end up being in my Instinctive Style i suppose you could say

ianthe wip. i was planning to do a few drawings based on the idea of her having Missing Arm nightmares, but the lineart was intimidating to me so i haven't worked on this one more yet /: also there was going to be a toontown gay homosexual toxic yuri comic that i was gonna put here with it but the page is way too long so umm guess that'll have to wait.

...

anyways. thank you for reading if you got to the bottom of this! i appreciate all the support that i've been getting lately (extra big kissies for the same like 5 people who always reblog my posts youre the best). and we will be ianthing soo hard in 2024 so watch out!!

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

2020 Collar x Malice Christmas Side Story English translation

merry xmas!

I finally managed to finish this... after asking about this being translated more than a year ago though it doesn't help that this was waaaaaaay longer than I thought it would be (plus i was busy since my family is hosting xmas, sorry!).😅 going to focus on deemo the day after tomorrow maybe... then my queue for next year. hopefully...?

anyway, enjoy!

OTOMATE Christmas 2020 Collar×Malice SS

Translation by KumoriYami

*The settings of this SS are inconsistent with the main game, and uses the setting from the ~Challenge from the Phantom Thief Adonis~ drama.

——December, 20XX.

Shinjuku, which was bustling with people, was able to to welcome another peaceful day today. Occasionally, there were some fights and quarrels that broke out in the streets everyday so the people in Yanagi Aiji's detective firm were also running around today.

Enomoto:….It's a request to investigate an extramarital affair again~ it's so terribly sad, why do we have to stay in front of the hotel to monitor couples…

Yanagi: It's good to have a request during this downturn. That being said, the success of this commission will largely depend on your mobility… Sorry, Enomoto.

Enomoto: I'm happy to be relied on by Yanagi-senpai.. Anyway, to cheat on Christmas, what on earth are they thinking? It's so wonderful to be in love together.

Shiraishi: There are many couples who break up at Christmas, for example those who accidently discover the other party's bad sides, and want to change their frame of mind before the new year, and there is also the possibility of finding out the cheating happening for a long time, and taking the opportunity to find their true love. It's a simple idea, isn't it?

Enomoto: Is it that simple…? To have someone to spend Christmas with is a luxury! Those people who are cheating or determining their destinies, really have no dreams!

Sasazuka: Don't worry, none of these things have anything to do with you.

Enomoto: I might have a chance this year!? That's right, on a snowy white Christmas… a beautiful woman speaking to me on a street... "I want to go to a party, but I'm lost…"

Sasazuka: And then he was taken away for a suspicious discussion, the end.

Shiraishi: I'm under the impression that the other party would extort you into buying them an expensive pot in the guise of a Christmas gift.

Enomoto:……At least!! Let me imagine it!!

Yanagi: You guys…. do your work seriously, Hoshino is resting today, and there are lot of things that haven't been dealt with yet.

Sasazuka: That guy's absence won't affect my productivity.

Enomoto: You're being like that again~ you're so dishonest…. Ah, someone's here, is it a courier? Come in, come in——

Kazuki:......Hello everyone.

Enomoto: Oh, isn't this Hoshino's younger brother? What's wrong?

Kazuki: I heard her say that she accidently brought documents from work back, though she's asleep right now.

Yanagi: Ah, Hoshino sent me a text message asking me to get them, we were supposed to pick them up.

Kazuki: It doesn’t matter, I didn't have anything to do anyway, and was going to a nearby store, so I came here.

Enomoto: Wa-Wait a moment, Hoshino's brother, it's rare for you to come here, so have some tea before leaving.

Kazuki:...Are you trying to draw out what my sister likes from me?

Enomoto: Hey, that sort of caution, you aren't lacking any of it…!

Kazuki:...Pfft, these sort of agendas are completely unhidden, you aren't a bad person either… and the opposite of someone with fiendish eyes.

Sasazuka: It's too annoying to target each word, rebellious phase.

Kazuki: Who's in their rebellious phase…! The one I don't trust the most is you.

Okazaki: Don't worry, otōto-kun, he's more or less a bit twisted, but everyone is a good person

Kazuki: It's definitely better than my first impression… huh? What's with you, where did you come from?

Okazaki: Ahaha, everyone here knows about this, so don't mind it.

Shiraishi：I mean, we're just asking him about Christmas presents, right?

Yanagi: Indeed, it's more efficient than us worrying and troubling ourselves over it.

Kazuki:...What do you mean?

——As a result, Yanagi and the others explained to the entire matter to Kazuki.

Christmas is coming, and while wanting to buy her a gift since she's been working hard, they however did not know what to buy. Kazuki sighed impatiently after listening to the general gist of the matter.

Yanagi: You're siblings, so you must have exchanged Christmas gifts, right?

Kazuki: I did when I was younger, but haven't recently… this sort of thing is really embarrassing.

Shiraishi: Then what did you give her when you were a kid?

Kazuki:......Cat plushies, and things like that.

Shiraishi: Eh, that's more tasteful than I imagined, in any case, I also want to receive a cat plush as a gift.

Yanagi: Don’t go off topic… Then, do you know what she's been wanting recently?

Kazuki: How did I know that… Ah, she said she wanted to buy a new frying pan.

Yanagi:…Kitchenware, huh, I also happen to buy a new one, and it's actually not difficult to choose.

Kazuki: She also said that she wanted a new cutting board...

Enomoto: So homely…! But, you should consider the other person’s preferences and habits when choosing.

Sasazuka: If you're going to say that, it'll be endless, giving gifts is purely an act of self-gratification, and no matter how much you worry about it, it'll be useless so it’s best for everyone to just give what they want.

Enomoto: No way! No sneaking out of this! What if one of us gives her a present that captivates her!

Okazaki: Enomoto-kun…it's a bit confusing for you to say that.

Enomoto: You're the one who needs the most attention, right?! You must be the type to ask a girl to a high-end restaurant/hotel with a night view!?

Okazaki: Alright, I'll sneak off to plan a secret date when you're not paying attention.

Enomoto: I said not to sneak away!!

Kazuki: Hey, are you guys so free that you're arguing about what gifts to buy like this, or is this place about to go out of business?

Yanagi: I get what you're saying, but everyone here is very capable and does a good job.

Kazuki: Hmph… It's true that if you work hard, you can earn a lot of impression points.

Okazak: Putting aside your sister, what sort of gift would you give to a girl you liked, Kazuki?

Kazuki:...........A ring, or something like that?

Enomoto: Th-That's so hardcore!?

Okazaki: Wow, I didn't expect you to be the type bind someone.

Kazuki: Many girls in my classes who are clamoring to receive rings. If you aren't dating the other person, it wouldn't be bad to give them earrings.

Sasazuka: I see, you're a pretentious person in front of other people, while you cling to your sister at home.

Kazuki: You guys are so infuriating… I'm pretty normal, alright?

Yanagi: Okay okay, he's still a high school student, and is at the age to bs sensitive to love.

Shiraishi: Could it be that you've experienced it? When Yanagi-kun was in high school, in order to save his kidnapped girlfriend, didn't he rush into the enemy's base by himself and cause a huge fuss?

Yanagi: Where did you learn about that?

Shiraishi: Enomoto-kun borrowed my manga that depicted the story of a protagonist who stood up to protect his girlfriend and was reincarnated into another world.

Okazaki: I'm a bit concerned about the future developments, so can you let me borrow it so I can take a look?

Kazuki:...Hey, the more you guys talk, the more off-topic you get, you guys are too free.

Enomoto: Ah, sorry! So, um, a Christmas present to give Hoshino…

In this way, everyone began having a heated discussion about what to give as a gift. After consulting Kazuki's suggestions, they prepared themselves and waited for Christmas to arrive.

——A few days later, it was Christmas day.

Once work ended, the office was filled with delicious food and adorned with Christmas decorations when the doorbell rang. Hoshino, who had gone out to buy something, had probably returned, and Enomoto hurriedly walked towards the door.

Ichika: He-Hello, um… there's an express delivery.

Enomoto: What, it's a courier. Hm? This voice…

Enomoto was astounded as he opened the door, and was powerful sight appeared before his eyes.

Enomoto: UAAHHHHHHHHHH!!

Sasazuka: Shut up, that's like the scream before death…——Ha?

Everyone was drawn to Enomoto's screeching, and all looked towards the door.

Standing in the doorway were two people dressed in red Christmas outfits.

Ichika: Everyone, Merry Christmas！

Kazuki: Eh, why me too....

Yanagi: Hoshino… and Kazuki, why are you dressed like this?

Ichika: Um, to thank everyone who is striving to protect the city's peace, Sana Claus came to give everyone presents!...I suddenly dressed up like this, and everyone started to laugh

Enomoto: Wh-What are you saying!? How can we laugh! Christmas COS!? Thumbs up!! Amazing!! No…………it's the best in the universe!!

Shiraishi: Hehe, Enomoto completely short-circuited, like a broken robot.

Sasazuka: So, who's idea was this?

Ichika:…Okazaki-san gave me this idea…

Kazuki: At first this guy was just worrying about what sort of Christmas gift to buy for his coworkers and came to me for advice. As a result, I somehow fell for the unorthodox SP's trap and things ended up like this.

Okazaki: Don't say that, I just gave my own opinions for what would definitely make Yanagi-san and everyone else feel happy.

Yanagi: Okazaki… it was you after all, although your opinions this time were quite serious.

Enomoto: It's better to say that this was done beautifully! This is Christmas COS…! Santa Claus has arrived——!

Sasazuka: Calm down a little, why don't you let Shiraishi give you an injection of anesthesia?

Enomoto: Don't treat me like I'm some animal!? That's a genuine crime!

Shiraishi: It's not impossible, but I'd have to carefully calculate the dosage because he's so sturdy. Having said that, everyone's reaction is subtle except for Enomoto, Yanagi-kun, don't you feel happy?

Yanag: Huh? No, I'm not happy...

Ichika: So-Sorry! For an adult to dress up in Santa Clause COS, it's so shameful, I'll go change my clothes…!

Everyone: Wait.

Kazuki:......Everyone's urging you to stop? Even that Sasazuka with a bad attitude…… (Just now, did d everyone think the same thing at the same time?)

Sasazuka: It'd be a shame to not have Santa Claus for Christmas.

Enomoto: Right, right! Without you, we can't have Christmas!

Shiraishi: Santa Claus sneaks in through the chimney, right? Why does you dress so conspicuously? Red is such a distinct colour, it's like deliberately trying to draw people's attention… they have a tendency towards committing theatrical crimes.

Okazaki:....Don't worry, this outfit ~really ~ suits you. Yanagi-kun and the others were just captivated by it, and their minds crashed blanked out instantly, right. You all have to say what you really think, otherwise they'll be too pitiful.

Ichika: Okazaki-san, your words seem a bit artificial...

Kazuki: Anyway, we didn't need your ideas about Christmas COS at all. We're just pandering to the holiday ambience, that's all.

Enomoto: I've been giving compliments since the start, right!? Hoshino… and Hoshino's younger brother… Thank you for bringing me the miracle of Christmas… I'm so moved right now

Ichika: Really? It's great if you're happy.

Kazuki: That person's reactions was too drastic, it's too disgusting.

Yanagi: Anyway, you prepared this Christmas surprise for us. We've also set up the place here, so let's let’s start the Christmas party.

Ichika：Uh, if possible, can we give these first…

Kazuki: These gifts are pretty heavy.

Yanagi: Ah, I'm sorry, I'll accept it with gratitude.

Ichika: Then, First... is Yanagi-san. Thank you for always leading us as the director of the detective agency, and it's thank to Yanagi-san's calm and cool judgements, that we're able to handle our work with a peace of mind when we encounter difficulties.

Yanagi:...Hoshino.... I would like to thank you for attenuative assistance all this time, which allowed me to operate operations smoothly, and I hope you will continue to advise me in the future.

Ichika: Please advice me too! Next up is Shiraishi-san. When I saw Shiraishi-san solve difficult cases through your keen observations, almost like magic… I have great respect for how experienced and knowledgeable side. However, please don't always tease me!

Shiraishi: That's because the way your expressions change is so very interesting, and I'm not teasing you, I'm just observing your reactions while we talk, from this perspective, it can be considered that you're helping me

Okazaki: Shiraishi-san is also an amazing tsundere.

Ichika: Hehe. The next one is for Sasazuka-san, your strict advice has given me confidence, and although it's sometimes quite Spartan, I still know that it's the manifestation of your kindness. Thank you for your help as always.

Sasazuka:…80 points, keep up with me, and don’t fall behind.

Ichika: Alright! The next is for Enomoto-san. You've always been a joy to have around the office, and have created a relaxing and cheerful atmosphere, furthermore, you still always help me make up for the mistakes I accidently make while I'm working… I'm so fortunate such a gentle senpai looking after me!

Enomoto: !! O-Obviously I'm the one who's being healed! Wah…. Terrible, there's sweat coming from my eyes… For me, you've been such an excellent kouhai! Hoshino! Let's continue to work hard to protect peace in the city!

Kazuki: Wow, he seems to be really crying… Is this person okay?

Ichika: Next is Okazaki-san, thank you for your continued commissions. Thanks to you, the detective agency has been slowly been able to develop properly.

Okazaki; Wow, you also got me a gift too? But, only my speech was very official, which feels a bit lonely….

Ichika: Um, you've always been willing to help me solve my problems, which has been a great help. Not only do I feel embarrassed about always asking you to take me home at night… can I ask that you please continue?

Okazaki: Of course, you are super welcome, as being relied upon by you is a reward in itself for me.

Sasazuka: That guy is the number one sneaker.

Yanagi:...It's fine if you have a good relationship, but don't trust Okazaki too much, as there are times he sends you home as an excuse, when he actually has ulterior motives.

Okazaki: Yes, yes, Yanagi-otō-san, don't be jealous of me

Ichika: And... lastly, I want to give a gift to Kazuki.

Kazuki: Huh? Give to me?

Ichika: Yes, thank you for everything, and although it's a bit embarrassing, I'm very happy to be your sister, and will continue to advise/look after you in the future!

Kazuki:…………

Sasazuka: Don't cry, otōto.

Kazuki: I'm not crying!….I'm just going to say…. being your brother, is truly great…. Thank you, onee-san.

Ichika: Kazuki...!

Shiraishi:...Hey, I'm almost being blinded by this beautiful sister and brother relationship, but don't forget that we're still here.

Ichika: Eh?

Enomoto: Shi-Shiraishi-san, look at the mod before you speak! Let them enjoy the moment for a while!

Sasazuka: It's useless to pretend that you can't see, that'll just be more awkward.

Yanagi: Yeah, that's true. Hoshino, this is our Christmas gift to you from us and Kazuki.

Ichika: Eh.... everyone got me a present!? Even Kazuki...

Sasazuka: It's to thank you for your continued efforts, so remember that you're not the only one who wants to express their gratitude.

Okazaki: Hehe, it's rare to see such a straightforward Takeru-kun, with the implication being that you like Ichika-chan the most, right?

Sasazuka: Don't interpret my thoughts without my permission.

Shiraishi: Although your abiliites are insuficicent, and require us to teach you many things, it would be very problematic if you suddenly disappeared. In other words, we find comparable value from you

Enomoto: Shiraishi-san, your talking around in circles too much. What we mean is that you are necessary existence to us, so thank you everything!

Ichika: Everyone... thank you!

Yanagi: Kazuki also helped us with picking out the gifts together, and although we had our own opinions, I thought this gift was a good choice.

Ichika: Kazuki, when did you...

Kazuki: Because you guys are so serious…. How do I put it, you all said that you wanted to give each other a Christmas surprise, which really bothered me a lot, so my position was to be like Cupid.

Enomoto: You're right, you two are like angels that descended down to the earth…! Yosh! I’m going to drink a lot today——! Kanpai——!

Sasazuka: I'm hungry, and would rather eat than drink. Hey Enomoto, that spot is mine.

Shiraishi: Ah, my Christmas gift is a cat plush. I see. Was that part of the investigation?

Okazaki: Haha, everyone's like kids enjoying Christmas.

Yanagi: It's good to relax once in a while, Hoshino, the food's almost ready, can you help me decorate it? As expected, I still need your help.

Ichika: Okay!

——In December, it snowed in Shinjuku.

On this peaceful street, this warm Christmas Eve continued.

----end---

sorry i meant to translate this earlier... but my eyes were having issues. they're still feeling a tad irritated though they're significantly better compared to when it started last saturday though.

Anyway, since this was content from one of Otomate's website, i have made this post un-bloggable (standard for me to do that when it's something from one of their websites), and I made a few adjustments to this based on the what names some of the characters use to address one another in the game... not sure if those changes are completely accurate since I haven't touched CxM for a while.

[spiri-a]

Ello ello ello this is a rant about a Good Omens fic I like

(Pssst.... TL;DR: It’s One Miraculous December by @journeytogallifrey)

Just a while ago I was agonizing over what kind of post I should post (even though no one’s gonna read this and this accounts only purpose is to spitball all my thoughts at a rapid pace) and I suddenly realized: hey! I like fanfics! And good omens! And sometimes I finish fanfics and I have so much thought vomit stirring around inside me I need to write it down somewhere! Then BOOM this is that this is my ramble baby. This is just my poor excuse to talk and talk and talk for several paragraphs straight. Please do not enter if you don’t want to be bombarded by what is probably several thousand words sorted into 5 or 6 sections.

This will probably be part of a series where I talk uh *cough* extensively about different fanfics, different series for different fandoms probably because I don’t think the Good Omens fandom and Carry On fandom interact with each other very much at all (maybe I’ll do books in general later on down the line, but that’d be a separate series too)

Just to be safe I won’t talk about anything too spoilery, giving some minor spoilers that get talked about in the first chapters anyways. This is a pretty lighthearted fic anyways so nothing much to worry about this time!

Ok now actually let’s get started. Anyways this is a fic I read a while ago that I really really liked:

One Miraculous December (T)

By @journeytogallifrey

Ok so this was the first fic I read by journeytogallifrey, and I read it during a time over the summer where day in and day out I had nothing to do but walk and walk and walk and occasionally read on my phone (Doesn’t make sense to read a Christmas fic over the summer but whatever)

I thought this was just gonna be a casually good long fic to fill up the time but boy was I wrong I LOVED this

Let me tell you this fic was the love of my life for the week and a half or so I was reading it. I was SO INSANELY shocked and confused when I realized this fic was 187,00 WORDS after finishing

But anyways I’m getting off track again (this post is my ramble baby after all) so let’s start with what this fic is abt and then I’ll talk about my favorite things

Spiri Stfu Whats The Fic About Already

Summary (pulled from fic):

Candles. Mistletoe. An entire frozen lake. Festive memories from their past together keep appearing out of nowhere.

Crowley's sure he's manifesting them accidentally out of sheer romantic desperation. It's bad enough trying to hide his unrequited love as they grow closer post-Apocaloops - what if Aziraphale sees the objects for what they are, a window into his yearning soul? Unfortunately, the only way to banish the objects seems to be talking about each memory...

Meanwhile, Aziraphale is just trying to woo his demon boyfriend with big gestures, ready to prove his devotion. And if Crowley acts awkward about the miracles? Surely that's just his difficulty accepting affection. The solution: shower him with as much of it as possible...

Eventually these two will communicate, even if it takes 'til the end of the year. For now there will be cuddling, excuses for closeness, sappy words, flashbacks, nostalgia, bickering, and an obscene variety of holiday foods. Oh, and footnotes. That's right. We're doing those too.

Fills for the Ineffable Holiday 2020 prompt list by Caedmon. Updates every day through the end of December.

Basically TLDR: Sappy reminders of soft moments between Crowley and Aziraphale throughout history keep popping up. Crowley thinks he’s doing it subconsciously and is worried about his super duper secret feelings being revealed, meanwhile Aziraphale is executing the least subtle (but somehow still too subtle) seduction plan ever concocted (it will take these two sillies a WHILE to get sorted out)

Ok now let’s move on to all the lovely things I love about this lovely fic in special lovely little sections (Once again, I’m sorry for the sheer size of this behemoth)

Pt 1: Charming Little Footnotes, My True Love ❤︎❤︎❤︎

From the very first chapter, I was completely and utterly enchanted by one silly little thing: the footnotes!! Those who have read the Good Omens book will understand: footnotes are amazing!! They often offer absolutely ZERO important information, and you could go practically the entire book never reading the footnotes and get the same general ideas as someone who did. BUT, they’re just so charming, why would you NOT read them?? They’re often unnecessary, but in a perfect and wonderfully niche way. I don’t need to understand the backstory or fun fact behind this randomly selected instant, moment, or person, but it’s so stupidly heartwarming to that I love to do it anyway. It’s like I’m being let in on a secret between me and the author, like they leaned over while someone else is talking and made a somewhat silly comment into my ear that makes you try to suppress your little smile in response.

Journeytogallifrey does this AMAZINGLY. They offer heartwarming insight on the most mundane things, and I enjoy every second of it. One of my personal favorite instances is funnily enough in the very first chapter, the footnote that first captured my heart and that I remembered throughout the entire fic. In chapter one, Aziraphale miracles for the floor of the bookshop to become a frozen lake, and he convinces Crowley to ice skate with him, reminiscing on a time they skated together centuries before. And THIS was the footnote that followed midway through the chapter:

*In fairness to the skates, they’ve had an intense couple of hours.

Mere moments before they found themselves in a 2019 bookshop, they’d only just been set down by Crowley and Aziraphale in 1860 and were debating the finer points of their recent skating adventure. Two of them, having hosted a lovely angel with excellent manners, were of a firmly positive opinion. The other two, terrorized by a demon who had berated them for trembling with fear, were engaged in a thorough character assassination of not only their tormentor but also anyone who would willingly befriend him.

“But they’re desperately in love with each other,” posited the skates worn by the angel.

“That’s beside the point,” answered the others, and that was when a miracle scooped them up and catapulted them a century and a half into the future**.

**Aziraphale, somehow, picked out the same two skates to wear in 2019 as in 1860, despite shoe sizes being less a concrete number for him and more ‘something that automatically sets itself to rights upon entrance of the foot’, so further experience has offered little to settle the argument.

THIS FOOTNOTE, THIS MOMENT, was perfection in my eyes. The completely absurd idea of two pairs of ice skates having a conversation, this conversation being about their wearers, a judgement of their character, a silly argument and observation of their silly hemming and hawing romance, was all so charming. It’s so unnecessary but also just. Completely STEALS your heart. Then there’s the footnote-ception of a footnote within a footnote, a casual disregarding of order and professionalism for the sake of being novel and silly. Not to mention the double footnote commenting on Aziraphale’s incredibly charming naïveté on the more specific parts of human inventions, such as the concept of shoe sizes. As you may have noticed from my using the same exact word like 20 times, the only word that fits the entire charmingly unnecessary but delightful footnotes thing is silly. It’s perfect because it’s perfectly silly, and that just made my heart melt.

Journeytogallifrey keeps up these footnotes throughout the fic to a certain degree, and as a reader of the Good Omens book, it’s always such a joy to find fics that bother to use footnotes. And journeytogallifrey does this wonderfully, stuffing so much life and humor into them very similar to what I found great about the footnotes in the GO book. So that is reason one (in no particular order) that I love this fic

Moving on to reason 2!

Pt 2: YOU get a flashback, and YOU get a flashback

A large amount of this fic relies on the art of flashbacks, being directly tied to Aziraphale’s Plan of Seduction™︎, which just so you know goes as follows:

Every day of December, miracle up some kind of thingy (object, place, activity, etc)

Said thingy will function as the perfect reminder to reminisce about a not-a-date date you’ve had at some point throughout history

Really drive home how close you two are and absolutely drown him in affection

Keep seducing all through December

Confess at some point (exact date TBD)

Profit

As you might have noticed, the whole reminiscing thing works as an opening for truckloads of flashbacks. But let me tell you, these flashbacks are WORKS OF ART. Unfortunately, unlike the footnotes, I can’t single out a single FAVORITE flashback, because they’re practically ALL amazing.

Journeytogallifrey very obviously did a butt ton of research for this fic, something I find so incredibly amazing about the Good Omens fandom! Many GO authors will do extensive research for the sake of their Aziraphale and Crowley throughout history scenes, which is something I’ve always heavily admired within this fandom compared to others. And journeytogallifrey does this amazingly and extensively throughout this fic!

Each flashback had so much love, charm, and most interestingly historical depth in them. Each flashback acts as a charming little mini story of the various adventures the two had throughout history. The highs and lows of their relationships, the hidden affections, moments that were fun, stressful, intimate, scary, or just simply peacefully domestic, ALL of it was present in these flashbacks, and just utterly captured my heart. I managed to learn quite a decent amount through the little historical details mentioned throughout, especially if a specific detail caught my eye and I wanted to research further. (Because of this fic, my dream is to move to Iceland and celebrate Jólabókaflóðið every year)

I love the way these two act around each other throughout history, and the writing when describing everything from the setting around them to their clothes to their care for each other is phenomenal. Normally I don’t really use words like aesthetic, but the way the different places dotted around the world are described and how the two are described to fit into them, I feel like I’m transported TO that place in history. I can see the churches, deserts, orchards, streets, markets, or wherever they are right in front of me, and it’s frankly gorgeous.

I LOVE historical flashbacks like this in general in the Good Omens fandom, but this fic does this AMAZINGLY, and it does it A LOT, so that’s a serious win in my books.

Something I also found extremely lovely about the flashbacks, as well as the present day parts of the story, brings me to my next part:

Pt 3: Gender who? Gender what? Gender none, gender all!

The gender fluidity/fluidity of gender expression of both Aziraphale and Crowley makes my heart flutter like nothing else. Like seriously. This is one of the main reasons I love this fandom.

It has long been stated that angels and demons have no inherent gender, and within the show Crowley presents as male and female in varying instances. Neil Gaiman has heavily implied Crowley being gender fluid before. In response, the fandom has completely flourished into a beautiful thing of gender acceptance and flexibility.

The fanart of the Good Omens fandom makes me so happy, because people will draw Aziraphale and Crowley in any manner they choose without feeling the need to explain it or label it as an “alternate universe.” The simple casualness around the topic of gender in this fandom sets a precedent of tolerance for the rest of the world, and also just warms my heart in ways I can’t explain.

Journeytogallifrey embraces this part of the fandom with open arms, with both Aziraphale and Crowley taking on a variety of appearances and roles throughout the flashback. The detail of changing Crowley’s pronouns depending on the flashback whilst Aziraphale maintains he/him no matter his form is a wonderful touch, and made me stupidly happy. The same goes for Crowley changing appearances to fit the alias of Nanny Ashtoreth later on in the fic, as well as his discussion with Warlock that it is all still himself, no matter what form he takes.

In my opinion, the fluidity and ease in which gender, masculinity, and femininity is expressed by Aziraphale and Crowley, both through the flashbacks and in present day, is done wonderfully, and serves to demonstrate the reason why I love this fandom so incredibly much.

Pt 4: Stabbing me gently in the feels (that’s gotta be a song lyric somewhere)

Another thing is I thought the push and pull and tender misunderstandings of these two throughout the fic is AMAZING. The delicate handling of this relationship is super wonderful and feels so stupidly softly heart wrenching. Like you’re not ripping my heart to pieces, but just kind of tugging on it. Seriously, I just wanted to hold these two and hug them and explain all their misunderstandings and send them away holding hands. The angst is so soft and tender I really can’t complain too badly.

The setup conflict between the two is, like, absolutely genius. I love it. Aziraphale trying to woo Crowley with as many gifts and miracles as possible while also playing cutely dumb about it, meanwhile Crowley is freaking out because all these miracles his lovesick heart is creating subconsciously might expose his super special secret feelings to Aziraphale, and that’d be baaaad news huh?

It’s some wonderfully sweet irony that Aziraphale innocently playing dumb is convincing Crowley he’s conjuring little mini proclamations of his super confidential feelings, and that Crowley is desperately trying to hide signs of said super duper confidential feelings while Aziraphale is actively trying to woo said demon.

This creates a lovely pushing and pulling dynamic full of tenderness and love, and it KILLED ME SLOWLY. 10/10 high quality soft angst.

Side note: I really liked the way Aziraphale and Crowleys relationship with Warlock was covered in this fic, especially Crowley’s attachment to Warlock as his nanny who raised him ever since he was little. I thought the desire to reach out to Warlock post Apocalypse was really heartfelt and sweet, and it made me feel stupidly warm seeing Aziraphale help Crowley reach out and later on solidify that relationship with Warlock.

Pt 5: How are you still here?? If you are, here have this

So um…….. this ended up being really long. My bad. I mean no one’s gonna read this anyways but I still feel a little awkward standing at the end of this VERY long ramble baby.

I just wanted to end this off by saying that One Miraculous December was SUCH a great fic, full of coziness and charm and silliness and tenderness and a lovingly crafted holiday vibe unlike no other fic I’ve read. I will definitely be rereading this fic around Christmas time, the digital equivalent of snuggling up beside a warm fireplace with hot cocoa and a good book. I seriously loved this fic so much! Like, it was just good vibes the entire way through, and I have obviously been keeping up with journeytogallifrey’s works ever since I read this one. Please please please, read this fic and give it some serious love, because it deserves it so much. I don’t know how you did it mysterious person who probably doesn’t even exist, but you got to the end. Thank you for reading my dear little ramble baby about One Miraculous December by journeytogallifrey.

Now that was technically the end, but as an extra little thingy, here are some other recommendations of fics from journeytogallifrey, because they are a seriously talented author and have some amazing gems in there!

Here’s a list of my favorites:

Everything That’s Meant (T)

One of journeytogallifrey’s more recent and more popular works, this is an only slightly meta fic in which Aziraphale and Crowley are human actors playing the angel Raphael and the demon Asmodeus in the tv adaptation of Agnes Nutter’s novel Prophecies. The two actors have electrifying chemistry, but much stands in the way of the two of them, from Aziraphale’s complicated family to a haunted tv set to the things spread by the press about the two.

105,000 words (a big guy!), with 39 chapters, but such a joy to read! It’s a bit heavier in plot and emotions, and the romance is a little bit of higher stakes, but the soft moments between the two as they grow closer 100% makes up for it.

Scenes from an Italian Restaurant (T)

The shortest one of my favorites at 7,000 words in a single chapter and lightly inspired by the Billy Joel song of the same name, it tells the story of childhood friends Aziraphale and Crowley both from in their youth and reunited as adults as they dine together at (surprise surprise) their favorite Italian restaurant. There’s some hidden feelings, light angst, high school gossip, and a whole lot of stuff that happens at the tables of this Italian restaurant. In general though, it’s a wonderful, lighthearted, bite-sized time.

Infernal Escapes (T)

Roughly 37,000 words, this fic is a cute and lighthearted romance set in an escape room place. Crowley is the long suffering employee of an escape room, and is enamored by the intelligence and enthusiasm of escape room newbie, Aziraphale. The two strike up a friendship built on their love of escape rooms, and a cute and easy romance ensues. This was such a joy to read, and their easy chemistry based on their shared passion for escape rooms is infectiously sweet. There is very little to no conflict or angst in this story, so it’s a slightly lengthy but incredibly easy ride, entirely smooth sailing. If you just wanna watch two strangers meet and fall in love without all the extra things (because like, same honestly), please read this.

[nocompromise-noregrets]

20 questions for fic writers

The impossibly lovely @mihrsuri tagged me in this a couple of weeks ago, and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get round to it - but I find myself in need of distraction, just a little bit, as Last Cat Standing is in the veterinary hospital getting his radioactive iodine treatment for his thyroid, and we can't have him back for maybe ten days as he's going to be somewhat radioactive for a little while; I'm sure he's going to be fine (this is the treatment described to me by the treating vet as both 'the gold standard' and 'magical', in that it's effective in 99.5% of cases, and in the 0.5% it isn't, they just give it another go and then it's effective), but we haven't had an entirely cat-free house for this long in 20 years, and I'm feeling a bit weird about it. Also I'm procrastinating finishing off an essay plan (I'd rather just write the damn essay but no, we have to submit a plan for tutor feedback to make sure we're on the right lines, and as you all know by now, that's really not how I work XD )

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 362 (plus another 76 on the other account for the fandom that does not speak its name...)

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 1,491,388 (good grief; nearly 1.5 million?! and if you add in the 270,606 on the other account, that's 1,761,994 O.O )

3. What fandoms do you write for? Tolkien (chiefly the Hobbit movies, and LotR, a mix of movie and book-'verse); King Arthur (2004); Fisherman's Friends (fandom of one); The Alienist (TV; occasionally); Marvel (occasionally, chiefly bits of the MCU and X-Men comics/Evolution); Top Gun (here and there) - and a bewildering number of others...

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? My Heart Is An Empty Vessel (621); Shape Up (422); Safe (414); Not Alone (413); The Unworn Jumpers of Molly Weasley (343)

This is bewildering but also a fine illustration of the vagaries of AO3 and the absolute folly of measuring anything by the amount of kudos a fic has: Empty Vessel is three and a half years old, took two years to post and has 115 chapters, so was at the top of the tag many many times over those two years. Shape Up and Safe were written and posted not long after Top Gun: Maverick came out (I don't know how busy the tag still is, but it was very busy when the film came out so the fics in that fandom got a lot of interaction because a lot of people were there looking for fics) and are both one-shots. Not Alone is also a one-shot (for X-Men: Evolution) and has been up on AO3 for nearly twelve years (and has had a bit of a boost with the release of X-Men '97). And Unworn Jumpers (on which I really ought to put some sort of disclaimer, along with the small handful of other ancient HP fics I've got up there) is a seasonal one-shot that's been up for over ten years and tends to get a bit of a boost every December. So *shrugs* go figure. And if anyone wants to help the only HP fic in the top five not be in the top five any more, Come Home is only 36 behind it, and it is fluffy and cute and has Elrohir persuading Maglor to come to Imladris for Midwinter somewhat in the guise of the Elfling he hasn't been for a very long time... :D

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes. Sometimes it takes me a while (oh god six months, but I got up to speed with them all and now I'm trying to make sure I do it within a week) as I am a champion procrastinator but I feel it's important for me to say thank you. And sometimes squee a bit. :D And sometimes it makes me a new friend, which is extra-awesome.

I have a few very very old comments on the stuff I posted before 2020 which I never did get round to answering, which I feel bad about, but I also feel like it would be weird to go back and answer them now...I dunno, what do you guys think?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't do angsty endings very often, but The Last Watch (in which Bard dies) is really sad, and Never Forgotten and See This Storm Through (in which Sigrid and Thranduil comfort each other after the funeral, and Legolas comes home to Dale to look after his father and his family and grieve with them, respectively) are almost as sad although they both end with a small amount of hope.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Ah, most of my fics end happily :D I'm far too tired for anything but, most of the time, these days. But let's face it, My Heart Is An Empty Vessel ends with a coronation and a wedding (spoiler alert! XD ) so let's go for that one.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I am lucky; the closest I've had was some anon complaining about Empty-Handed being a spoiler for the then-unposted Empty Vessel although the events it 'spoiled' were inevitable in the context of a mortal-immortal relationship, and someone whingeing in a bookmark comment that Thorin and Bilbo don't even talk until the end of Mr Underhill's Finest Seafood Specialities, thus completely missing the point of the fic (and the 'past' after the pairing tag) - it wasn't about them - which made me chuckle as much as the rudeness annoyed me.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Sometimes. I have phases when I feel like it, and (much longer) phases when I don't. It's generally only fairly tame and euphemistic (with the single and solitary exception of that one hanahaki fic about the twins the premise for which, although not the smut, came to me in a dream) and probably not all that imaginative since, as the acest of aces, the whole idea completely bewilders me XD

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Not unless you count various different parts of the Tolkien legendarium. My brain just doesn't work that way.

11. (there doesn't seem to be a question 11; I feel like this might be one of those Tumblr traditions, as I've definitely done question memes on here before that have been lacking in a question 11...)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I have! I am deeply honoured that my KA fic Anniversaries was translated into Russian by Elenabu some years ago, and It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like... appears on Lofter in Mandarin, translated by AntheaXi. There were a couple of other Russian translations of some of my very old stories, but that was 15 or 20 years ago and I can't actually remember which or where.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have! A long long time ago, the fic that eventually became the original novel that is Two of a Kind, the tale of Hal and Jack, was a co-production, and I really enjoy bouncing ideas back and forth - and of course, there is the Tudors OT3-'verse fandom stuff that @mihrsuri and I have been pinging to and fro just recently, which is also hugely enjoyable. :D :D :D

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Oh, too many to name! Gawain/Galahad from KA2004, the bi widower dads, Legolas/Imrahil, Elladan/Elrohir, Erestor/Glorfindel, Sigrid/Tauriel, to name but a few.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I am determined to finish All I Want Is You. I am also determined to finish part whatever it is now of It's Always Been You, although that's been on the back burner for a long long time. There's one WIP on the other account which I'm also determined to finish although who knows if I'll ever get there. I'm not one for saying never, though. I was out of Tolkien fandom for 16 years, and after the fandom that does not speak its name fizzled out, I genuinely thought I'd never write again. And yet...here I am.

16. What are your writing strengths? Ooooh, I dunno. Spelling, punctuation and grammar, dialogue, leavening the serious romantic stuff with a bit of humour, kindness and love for the characters and settings, happy endings and quite a lot of fluff. :D

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Plot. XD Can't plot to save my life.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Only when necessary for character reasons, and always provide a translation. Otherwise you're shutting out readers who don't understand (unless it's not important that they actually understand precisely what's being said as long as they get the gist).

19. First fandom you wrote for? Knowingly? X-Men (comics), and that fic is here, although I posted it ten-odd years after first posting it to ff.net.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? All of them. I cannot possibly choose.

Thank you so much for the tag, lovely! Entirely no-obligation tags go to @lemurious, @verecunda, @writerman, @scary-grace, @seagull-energy, @herawell, @thenookienostradamus, @sallysavestheday, @myeaglesong, @palavapeite, @bigneonglitter, @bishkebab, @peonybroadbeltofbuckland, @redeemer46, @spiced-wine-fic and anyone else who wants to do this - if you see this and fancy it, please consider yourself well and truly tagged!

[rip-us-xoxo]

Waterloo- Fred Weasley x Reader (REPOST)

Posted DECEMBER 10, 2020

Reposted APRIL 16, 2023

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warnings- not proof read very well (or, at all, really)

A/n- This is my literal DREAM to do this with Fred (or anyone who’ll do it with me)

Based off of “Waterloo” by Abba, but I like the Mamma Mia version better, so is based higher off of that

——————————————————————————

Fred Singing- Italicized

You singing- Bold 

You both signing- Bold and Italicized

——————————————————————————

It was a normal evening at Hogwarts, students gathered in the Great Hall for dinner, eating whatever they could after a long day of school. Fred and George had just finished another day of mischief and were walking to join the others. 

When Fred entered the Great Hall he took in his surroundings before walking, with a slight bounce, to go sit next to his beloved, you. Y/n Y/l/n, the girl who stole Fred Weasley’s Heart. Once he gave a few of his mates high fives, he walked over to you and practically tackled you from behind to hug you. 

You giggled quietly, “Hiya Freddie,”. “Hello my lovely little sunbeam,” he greeted and kissed your cheek before sitting next to you. His beaming smile dropped a bit when he saw your face, it was like you were in a sad daze. 

Now he was wondering if that giggle you had given him a few seconds ago was even real. 

“What’s wrong Y/n?” he asked and gently caressed your knuckles. “Hm? Oh, nothing,” you brushed off his question before gloomily stabbing your fork into your food in front of you. He frowned even more and poked your shoulder. 

“Fred, stop,” you groaned and moved your shoulder to shake off the feeling. “Well. I’m. Not. Going. To. Stop. Until. You. Tell. Me. What. Is. Bo. ther. ing. You.” he said while poking your shoulder in between every word. 

“Well, there is nothing wrong so you’ll just have to annoy me until I want nothing to do with you anymore,” you told him and gave him a playful-serious look at the end and put your face right in front of his face. You could never get so annoyed with him that you two would split, but he sure was annoying you a bit. 

He closed the distance between you and gave you a small peck before standing up. “Alright, you asked for it,” he said. “What do you mean-? Fred! Get down!” you shouted as he stood on the Gryffindor table in front of you. 

“Accio radio!” he shouted. Soon a radio came flying into his hands. He spent a few seconds changing the channels, cursing under his breath for the time it was taking. His face lit up once he finally found a song that you both knew and turned it up. 

Your flushed red with embarrassment once you heard the music, it was a song you and Fred have blasted in the common room while everyone was sleeping, you two would always put a silencing charm around you two on these nights because you didn’t want someone to come and yell at you to shut it off in the middle of your jam session. 

“My, my!” Fred sang and grabbed a baguette off of the table. “At Waterloo, Napoleon did surrender,” he waved around a white flag in the air, “Where did that come from?” you laughed. He just winked at you before motioning for you to join him, “Oh yeah! And I have met my destiny in quite a similar way.”. 

You shook your head while laughing. He rolled his eyes and grabbed your hands, “The history book on the shelf-” he pulled you up, “Oh!” you squealed, “-is always repeating itself. Waterloo!” he handed you a baguette, “I was defeated, you won the war”. You playfully stabbed him in the chest with the end of the baguette, causing him to fall over dramatically. 

“Waterloo!” he jumped up to sit on one knee, “Promise to love you forever more.” 

“Waterloo!” you both sang while you helped him up. “Couldn’t escape if I wanted to,” you sang while he pulled you close to him, “Waterloo! Knowing my fate is to be with you,” he sang which made you blush. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,” you stepped back from him but he pulled you back and spun you. “Waterloo!” he dipped you, “Finally facing my Waterloo.”. 

Then an instrumental part started playing, to which Fred made you dance with him. All of the others were laughing while watching this unfold. You were embarrassed, but you were also having the time of your life so you were all smiles with the brightest shade of red across your face. Fred made you do some odd tango with him down the table before turning around and doing it the other way. Fred’s long hair was flying in the wind as he was looking upward. 

“My, my!” he sang suddenly, making you jump a bit, “I tried to hold you back but you were stronger!” he sang and started play-fighting with you so you played along by play fighting him back. “Oh yeah!” Fred jumped off of the table and pointed to you. 

“And now it seems my only chance is giving up the fight,” you said and dramatically placed the back of your hand on your forehead. “And how could I ever refuse?” you sang and looked at him while holding your heart before winking and starting to spin down the table, “I feel like I win when I lose!”. 

You squealed as you were stopped by Fred, “Waterloo! I was defeated you won the war!” he sang while sword fighting using the baguette against a non-existent opponent while holding your hand. 

“Waterloo!” he dropped down to his knees, “Promise to love you forever more!” he made a heart with his hands before rolling backwards. The sight was hilarious, but he was your Freddie, so you, once again, went along with it. 

“Waterloo!” you sang and walked toward him, “Couldn’t escape if I wanted to!”. “Waterloo! Knowing my fate is to be with you!” that line made your heart flutter. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Waterloo!” you sang while trying to hide your huge smile. “Finally facing my Waterloo,” he winked before grabbing your hand and spinning you into his arms, making your back press against his chest, “So how could I ever refuse? I feel like I win when I lose!” you both sang while swaying back and forth. 

“Waterloo, couldn’t escape if I wanted to,” you spun out of his chest, “Waterloo, knowing my fate is to be with you,” you sang while making a ‘come here’ motion with your pointer finger. He got on his hands and knees and crawled towards you, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,” you pulled him up with a yank, “Waterloo! Finally facing my Waterloo!”. 

“Oo, oo, oo, oo,” you both hummed with big smiles while looking in each others eyes and dancing around each other. “Waterloo! Knowing my fate is to be with you!” Fred gave you a big kiss on the cheek, distracting you from what you were doing and spun you into him once more before dipping you and bringing your head back up to kiss him firmly. Your hands got lost in his hair while everyone was cheering you both on. 

When you both pulled away, you looked over to see McGonagall looking very disappointed at you both. “Detention Mr. Weasley and Ms. Y/l/n,” she told you both before walking away. 

You both looked at each other while giggling, “Worth it?” Fred asked and pulled you out of his arms. “Worth it,” you confirmed before giving him a final peck on the cheek.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

xoxo

[aleyn-de-vries]

Diabolik Lovers: Rebirth And Royalty Chapter 1

NA. Hello, first written post, I think hahaha. Well I decided to create a fanfic of Kino and my OC that I have been putting off for a LONG LONG time and probably after this chapter I will put it off again because university takes up time (Understand, please). But well, here is the first written chapter. Unfortunately Kino won't appear so soon because these first chapters focus on Carolyne adapting to the life of the ghouls, so, enjoy.

Chapter 1: The Day That Everything Ended

It was the rainy season in the valleys of Cochabamba, after the December holidays. It was the night of January 15, 2020 to be precise. A girl with blue hair and a silver streak was trying to walk as best she could. With a broken ankle and supporting herself with a grab stick, it was not a good strategy to wander through the valley at night, especially since she did not know the environment where she fell. The sounds of nocturnal birds such as owls singing or the sound of crickets and toads could also be heard, which was the only thing that accompanied the young woman in this thick darkness. The phone she had had no signal and the battery was running out. If only she could find the Cochabamba - Oruro highway and wait for a bus that could take her back to Cochabamba or to the nearest town for medical attention. But with each step she took, the young woman did not know if she was getting closer or further away from civilization. It was supposed to be a memorable reunion. Her brother Kevin was the one who came to visit from Miami to see the rest of the family and also to go to the funeral of their maternal grandmother who passed away in Cochabamba. Both Carolyne and Kevin traveled from La Paz and Miami respectively to go to the funeral. Both of their parents and maternal aunt were eagerly awaiting the arrival of the Gomez brothers, who only had to board a flight from Cochabamba - La Paz that was supposed to take 30 minutes at the latest. The young woman began to remember everything that happened to get to the point where she is.

Let's go back a couple of hours, it was 6 in the afternoon at the Jorge Wilstermann airport. Both siblings were listening to music while waiting for the next flight that would take them to their family. Kevin was more of an electronic music fan, while Carolyne listened to a band called “Rise Against,” a band he became a fan of after playing one of their songs “Prayer of the Refugee” on “Guitar Hero 3” and the song “Re-education (Through Labor)” on “Guitar Hero World Tour.”

“Carolyne, could you pay attention for a moment?” Kevin asked the girl who was listening to the music.

“Of course I'm listening to you, am I paying a lot of attention to you?” Carolyne replied.

“Then tell me, which of the gifts are you going to give to the aunt and which is yours?” Kevin asked, somewhat annoyed.

“Auntie gets the necklace and I get the sweater?” Carolyne asked curiously, frustrating her brother in the process.

“It’s the other way around, kid,” Kevin said, annoyed.

“Oh, right, so that's it,” Carolyne replied.

“Oh, when will you change? You’re always in your own world. "Wake up, you're going to be a college student soon!" her older brother asked her.

Young Carolyne was a kind, quiet girl with few friends. She always liked to stay at home reading a fantasy book or a programming book, since the Academic Proficiency Test (APT) exams were just around the corner, which would determine Carolyne's future.

“Well, you are starting a new stage. You will take your exam for the college you want to go to, you will go to college at one of the best universities in Bolivia… And when you finish everything, we will do the paperwork for your American residency so that you have better opportunities in life.”

Indeed. Her brother moved to Miami as soon as he graduated from school, having been born there, and he took their mother with him to attend residency. All that was left was to save a lot and for Carolyne to finish her degree so that she could have a prosperous life. It seemed like the perfect plan when…

Two people were talking at a distance, they were the pilot and the traffic control. The traffic control man warned that a small radar was not working, but if the flight was wanted it could depart calmly, it was only a matter of visual planning. With that in mind, the pilots thought it was a better idea for the plane to take off that same night, after all, everyone had already paid for their tickets and the flight was only 30 minutes long. So they decided to board all the passengers and the flight took off. Apparently there were no problems… But as the saying goes, it is better to waste a minute in life than life in a minute. Meanwhile, on the plane, Carolyne looked at the landscape outside and Kevin was sitting next to her.

“I hope these days turn out to be better, Carol. You promised grandma at the funeral that you would do your best,” Kevin said and the girl just nodded.

“I am so excited! I want to see my dad, my mom and my aunt,” Carolyne said.

“So, tell me, what do you plan to study? Remember that you are already 18 years old,” the older brother asked her.

“What I plan to study is…”, the girl was interrupted by a sudden movement.

The plane had the bad luck of entering a storm cloud, so they decided to go inside. Suddenly, there was a jolt, then another stronger than the previous one. The wind shears, also called turbulence, were trying to destabilize the flight and the desperate screams of the passengers were getting louder. Kevin asked Carolyne to imitate what he did when a thunderclap hit the side where Carolyne was sitting, causing her chair and seat to come off the plane. The girl could only watch nervously as she fell 10,000 meters in free fall, getting soaked by the torrential rain as she watched the plane pass by and fainted thinking it was a dream.

Fortunately for her, the blue-haired girl fell in the valleys of Cochabamba. The treetops and the fact that she fell with her seat were what cushioned the fall. Meanwhile, when she reacted, she saw a horrible scene. At a distance from her, a thick ball of smoke could be seen ascending... It was the plane that fell a few kilometers from her.

“Kevin…” Carolyne said when she saw the thick cloud of smoke, her brother probably already passed away. The girl tried to get up but a slight pain wouldn't let her. Her right ankle ended up fractured, so she crawled and found a stick that fit her, so she leaned on the stick and started walking. Her goal was to find the road and say that she was the only survivor of that fateful flight. As she wandered further and further, she began to get lost in the valley, so she decided to continue looking for help, this time from a peasant. The bad thing is that probably in those places, most of the peasants speak Quechua, but Carolyne didn't know how to speak that language, she only learned English and French, but she never lost her curiosity to learn an indigenous language because she saw it as useless, but in this situation she swallowed her words and saw that it wasn't so bad to learn an indigenous language at this time. She only hoped that the person who finds her is someone kind and not hostile.

“I don’t care if the peasants call me privileged… I need help…”, the young girl thought.

She saw a small tunnel that would connect to the other side. The fame of the valley tunnels is that they connect different towns, so she decided to enter there to seek shelter from the rain or find another small town. The young girl continued walking deeper into the tunnel. After about 15 minutes, she reached the exit of the tunnel which was a place full of fig crops. The young girl tried to take a couple of figs for the road, when suddenly, the young girl began to cough up blood. She was not quite okay, she had internal bleeding that was aggravated by the effort she put in.

“N-No… I don’t want to die…”

The young girl tried to keep walking, but the tiredness made her fall into the mud. Carolyne ended up crying out of frustration. Her family already had a funeral... And now they will have two new ones, causing more pain to her hurt family. With those thoughts, the young woman closed her eyes and her heart stopped beating... Or at least, that's what she thinks.

[internerdionality]

20 Questions for FanFic Authors

Tagged by @dragonmuse, thank you! 🥰

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

39. I've been publishing since 2020, so a relative newbie, and I apparently can't write actual short works to save my life. I'm looking forward to hitting 50 fics, maybe even before the end of the this year, although that might be overly optimistic.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

817,200. Also looking forward to hitting a million! I started writing fanfic in part because of Diane Duane's post about the first million words being for practice, but I've realized as I've gone that fanfic is also just more fun in a lot of ways than original work, because it's lower stakes and more silliness and really all about the community.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly Our Flag Means Death and the DC universe. I have a long crossover plotted out in the Slayerverse but I haven't published any of it yet, and one fic (I think my shortest) that I wrote to expiate my feels for the fourth Matrix movie. Oh! And a few Good Omens, only one published so far.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor? , Our Flag Means Death, Izzy/Everyone + Canon Pairings. I started writing this one literally the night after I finished watching the show in late April 2022 and managed to hit the wave of gay pirate frenzy as the fandom was born. I swear I'll finish it. 😅

A Fucking Duel, Our Flag Means Death, endgame SteddyHands with some strong Sprizzy side-action. This started out as crack, again very early in the gay pirate brainrot, and then turned novella size on me when I wasn't looking.

To Err is Human, to Purr is Batman. DC. Shades of SuperBat but mostly Bat-Family focused. I turn Bruce Wayne into a cat. Pure fluff.

Mutually Beneficial. DC, SuperBat. Classic identity porn romcom with a sugar daddy twist. Nonbinary Clark Kent. My first fanfic on AO3!

Soaked to the Skin. Our Flag Means Death, Sprizzy with a side of BlackHands, my take on how things would go for the Revenge right after the first season ended, doesn't include any of the characters who weren't on the ship during SO1E10. Double the length of any other fic I've ever written!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always! I am a praise-gremlin and treasure every comment I receive. I also include answering comments in my total word count for the day (I made a resolution during the HHD 5781-82 to write more, and while it took me a little bit to get started, I have written at least 250 words a day since mid-December 2021). So answering comments often gets me pumped for writing more fic!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Disregarding the prequels in the big dark vampire romp (which aren't really standalone) probably a tie between the surprise twists at the ends of Untethered and Gently in the Night? Both fics end happily but then have a little angsty setup for the sequel at the very end.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Definitely Mutually Beneficial. Most of my fics end happily but I usually try to leave them somewhat open without doing a lot of epilogueish kind of things. MB was an exception where I wrote two fluffy epilogues with lots of romance and sex because I didn't want to leave my boys! Although honestly now when I think back on it I think it would have been a stronger work if I'd ended it right after the climax and posted the fluffy epilogues as separate works.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

There was this one unregistered user who went through all my SuperBat fics and engaged in this long comment thread where he accused me of not liking Clark Kent? (Which, almost all my DC fics have Clark as the protagonist, I adore him, so). It was very surreal. I eventually just deleted it every time they'd write a new comment and they stopped after like two or three of those.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Lots of smut! It's actually just in the past year that I've stretched myself to write more Gen-ish fics with WDYDWADS and TEIH, and it somewhat surprised me that those became my two most popular fics in their respective fandoms.

As far as what kind, I really try to diversify but the strongest commonalities tend to be strong power dynamics, bondage, pain-play, and consent-play, with my darkest stuff going hard into noncon. I have fluid squicks so I tend to avoid anything in that area.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

The only one I have published is the Our Flag Means Death/Pirates of the Caribbean (which seems pretty obvious, I'm honest surprised there isn't more). I have the whole arc plotted out where the vampire!DCU series is going to branch out into the Slayerverse. Hopefully I'll actually write it one of these days.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of. I don't go looking, but my works aren't crazy popular, either.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A couple! I'm always really honored. 🥰 Many thanks to people who labor for fandom.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I did a long entirely cowritten canonized fiction for Steve Stirling's Emberverse—it's published on his site, not AO3, and under my real name, so don't go looking! (Nah, JK, I won't link it but I don't care if people figure it out).

And then I wrote this companion piece to Rimbaud's Give Pearls Away and Rubies. I had nothing to do with his piece, but he consulted heavily on mine. And Dragonmuse and I starting workshopping a Dragonriders of Pern pastiche that we might finish one of these days. 🤣

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Can I say the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one? It's the platonic ideal of a ship, really... 😂

Otherwise I really don't have one, I'm too poly for that. Even the ships I'm most feral about, I'll ship any of them with other people.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I won't say the DCU/Slayerverse crossover because I refuse to doubt that I'll finish it one day. So let's go with the JLA bad orgy crack—I actually posted on that one that it should be considered abandoned. I still love the idea but I kinda just ran out of steam.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Exposition, worldbuilding, delving into character emotions. Metaphors and whimsy.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Having actual plots. Action scenes. Actually finishing/ending anything.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I speak enough French and Hebrew to do either of those (and have).

I've done a very little Spanish for Jim from OFMD, but I tend to just copy actual stuff that they've said in canon. I do have a Puerto Rican friend that I've leaned on occasionally, but she's busy and I don't want to make it her job to constantly write dialogue for me so I usually try to avoid it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Define "wrote." 😂

When I was a teenager I plotted out long self-insert fixits for Star Trek, Harry Potter (look, even then the only thing I wanted to do in that verse was fix its many sins), X-Files, Stargate, and Buffy. I never wrote any of them down, though, just enjoyed the daydreaming.

Well, I lie, I did actually write about 60K eventually in an original novel that was based on some of the dynamics I'd created in the HP one, but that's the only one I ever got out on paper and it was altered enough that its origin was pretty unrecognizable.

If we're counting published anywhere, it's Stirling's Emberverse.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Soaked to the Skin. I'm honestly so proud of the actual! plot! in that one, the narrative flow, the emotional arcs, and like. the fact that I actually finished it. Even now a year later, every time I get a comment or kudo on that fic it sends this thrill of happiness up my spine.

Tagging (only if you want it), @thetardigrape, @sunless-garden, and @jupitermelichios.

[ryttu3k]

End of the year book asks! Which I'm just... going to fill out. Original post here.

1. How many books did you read this year?

As of posting this on December 15th, it's 36, with a note that I am including zines over 100 pages. Will update at the end of the year! Edit: 38!

2. Did you reread anything? What?

Reread Gideon and Harrow the Ninth in preparation for Nona's release!

3. What were your top five books of the year?

Okay. I am going to categorise.

Favourite novel: Tamsyn Muir - Nona the Ninth

Favourite novella: Becky Chambers - A Prayer for the Crown-Shy

Favourite series: Seanan McGuire - Wayward Children

Favourite anthology: Xenocultivars - Stories of Queer Growth

Favourite zine: Archive of the Odd (available here, only read issue 1 so far but I have issue 2 purchased and ready to go!)

Favourite unexpected addition to my reading list: Bram Stoker - Dracula

Other favourites of note: Travis Baldree - Legends & Lattes, RoAnna Sylver - Stake Sauce 2 and Life Within Parole vol 2, Freydis Moon - Exodus 20:3

4. Did you discover any new authors that you love this year?

Read the Wayward Children series, would be quite happy to look into more of Seanan McGuire's writing!

5. What genre did you read the most of?

I am sitting comfortably in my SFF hole, thank you.

6. Was there anything you meant to read, but never got to?

*laughs in excessively long TBR*

7. What was your average Goodreads Storygraph rating? Does it seem accurate?

4.32, which seems pretty solid!

8. Did you meet any of your reading goals? Which ones?

I did, averaging three new reads a month!

9. Did you get into any new genres?

Is 'gothic horror that is actually all about The Power Of Friendship' a genre?

10. What was your favorite new release of the year?

Nona the Ninth Nona the Ninth I cannot reiterate how much I goddamn adore Nona the Ninth. Sob.

11. What was your favorite book that has been out for a while, but you just now read?

Dracula has been out for. A while lmao

12. Any books that disappointed you? 13. What were your least favorite books of the year?

Mm. I don't like naming names because I can totally see people enjoying it, but there was one novel in particular that I felt didn't quite stick the landing. I gave it a 6/10 rating.

14. What books do you want to finish before the year is over?

I'd like to get in Where The Drowned Girls Go (the last Wayward Children book currently out, the next one is due in January!), which will be easy enough because it's a novella, and probably one other. Edit, 16th December: Done!

15. Did you read any books that were nominated for or won awards this year? What did you think of them?

I got into the Wayward Children series, most of those either won or were nominated for the Best Novella nebulas, and which won this year's Best Series. This Is How You Lose The Time War won that category for the Hugos, Nebulas, and Locus in 2020; Binti: Home and Night Masquerade were also nominated for Hugos.

Also I feel Dracula's probably won a few awards. Probably.

16. What is the most over-hyped book you read this year?

Oh, hm! I don't know, most felt like a suitable level of hype.

17. Did any books surprise you with how good they were?

Dracula. Dracula. I expected to read it as like, a pivotal vampire/horror novel that I felt lowkey obligated to get through but I fucking loved it. At least part of that was the Dracula Daily experience but damn, I really liked that book.

18. How many books did you buy?

.......significantly more than I actually read. Awkward laughter at my Kobo account.

19. Did you use your library?

I did!

20. What was your most anticipated release? Did it meet your expectations?

Nona the Ninth, and it absolutely did. I knew I would be goddamn deceased after it and I very much!! was!!

21. Did you participate in or watch any booklr, booktube, or book twitter drama?

No drama here!

22. What's the longest book you read?

The Harrow reread is the only one that tops 500 pages, although both the Gideon reread and Nona are in the 400s.

23. What's the fastest time it took you to read a book?

I mean I can knock out a novella in an hour?

24. Did you DNF anything? Why?

Nope!

25. What reading goals do you have for next year?

Read more novels. I read a lot of novellas and anthologies this year!

[galaxystar17]

I don't know if I have ever mentioned it, but back in 2020 when I just started high school I had a big otome phase. I remember looking for a new otome game in January 2020 and found two - one which actually turned out to be otome and a3 as they both seemed interesting plot wise. I only found out that google play app store had fooled me when I downloaded a3 tho. I remember playing one of kazu's cards and there were 3 options you could choose to answer so I was like 'oh okay which one raises the intimacy lvl?' and when I clicked on all of them out of curiosity, I found out they don't do much :(

And this was when it hit me that it's just a visual novel about acting and friendship and later on also found family, but without the otome part. Tbh I could phrase it like this - started for non-existent otome, stayed for the story. I really like the game and I'm in the fandom for like 4 years now even when eng sadly ended.

The only thing I am mad at myself about is my own stupidity at first while playing. Cause I thought that a3 just ends after the act 1 main story and won't have more parts or events. So I technically didn't uninstall it, just left it on my phone in case I would like to go through the story once again when I would feel like it. I reminded myself of a3 when I talked to my classmate about it (and lowkey got her into it, she watched the anime even) which was December 2021. Almost 2 years of not playing. So you can imagine my shock when I got back into the game and saw that not only it wasn't updating anymore, there is supposed to be a server shut down and that they will end the game in barely 3 months officially.

Basically I didn't play any event so idk how that feels and works as I missed every single one (but I have heard that ranking was hell), also then I discovered there's act 2 and tried to get to know who the rookies were. Before the official closing I was able to at least finish the whole 'Awakening Moon' and half of Kumon's story. I remember the last card I got was also my one and only SR of Azuma that I was so happy to receive (it was during my entrepreneurship class ksjshsk).

Btw the card in question ⬇️

Sorry that it's long. Looking forward to the rest of the questions 🫡

Mankai March question 1!

Welcome to the event!!! I’m super excited to see all the answers, so let’s hear about something simple: How did you first find out about A3? Was it through the anime? A friend? Saw an ad? Tell us about it!

[annasmc]

Hi, I hope your having a good day/night! I wanted to request obey me headcannons with an MC who is really good with kids and Luke reminds them of a younger sibling or cousin and how the brothers and previously undatables (or however many characters you want to do) and how they react to MC defending and dotting on Luke

Brothers + (now datable) Undatables React to MC Doting on Luke

Part 1 ~ Mammon, Beel, Diavolo, Barbs, Simeon and Solomon

Okay I am so sorry this took an embarrassingly long time to do. Like dude I think this is requested in like later December 2020 or early January so that’s how late we are taking. ANYWAYS here is part one 😬 (couldn’t even do them all but I’ll finish it I promise)

PLEASE THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING

Warnings: some swearing??

Mammon

He thought he was baby

Poor mams doesn’t understand why you would pay so much attention to a chihuahua >:(

He was shocked when you glared at him after his daily teasing Luke session.

You scolded him for a couple hours after that.

He always sees the both of you and can’t help but get jealous.

He gets sad sometimes and will try to cuddle up to you for attention

But Luke deserves the world so sorry Mams

Anyways Mammon is not happy obviously so he takes it upon him self to start “Operation Get MC’s Attention” which in other words is “Hide Luke From MC”

It goes well for a while

Mammon will run up to you and put an arm around you and lead you away from Luke

He will also actively PUSH Luke away from you without your knowledge.

Luke was just walking down the hall completely oblivious to the fact you were around the corner when suddenly Mammon comes and SHOVES him into an empty classroom.

Ok so Luke started crying (he’s only 10 omg Mammon)

Simeon had to take him home

Um Lucifer hung Mammon for a week

Beel

He doesn’t quite understand why you’re babying him, but he has no problem

You’re both parents now 🥺

Awwww

He gets free food from Luke

You kinda both adopt him.

It’s Beels job to protect Luke from everyone else and your job for offer emotional support.

You two work in a duo.

Ofc everyone else doesnt fully understand.

Belphie was the first (and only ) one to experience first hand the wrath of teasing Luke

Beel was on him like that. *angry Beel noises*, and you were there in an instant coddling Luke and hyping him back up.

“Don’t listen to those mean demons, oh poor Luke are you okay. Here let’s go inside” cue you and Luke leaving together, you hand on his back and looking back at the opposer with a glare.

Diavolo

Well it’s no doubt he was happy.

After all this was the point of the student exchange thing

He did find it quite nice to see you act to loving and be almost a parental figure for Luke.

Even Diavolo had to acknowledge that Luke is very much a child

He’s really proud of you actually.

I mean you don’t have to go out of your way to defend a little angel.

It’s refreshing to see such positive behaviour even if you do beat up everyone else is they dare insult Luke

He’s always hanging around and has his signature grin on his face whoever he witnesses the two of you together.

Will definitely back you guys up

Barbatos

We all know Barbs has a soft spot for Luke

He’s like Simeon and is so grateful that you are taking care of Luke

Luke seems to be much happier now that nobody is teasing him as often as before

Thank to you and your never ending threats to those brave enough to insult Luke

He once walked in on you teaching Luke how to draw and paint.

His non-existent heart swelled.

He very curious to see how you interact with Luke and how Luke acts since Barbatos was never a child

He is impressed by your caregiver skills

As a butler to a man-child (demon-child), he thinks it’s rather amusing to see you tend to someone else for a change.

I said that you and Beel were parents but really I mean you and Barbatos are the the real parents of Luke

Get ready to co-parent with Barbs ❤️

Simeon

He’s overjoyed like he’s happy 

“Thank you for taking care of Luke, he really needs it”

I mean this poor little angel is being bullied left to right,

He thinks you’re an angel, seriously he does

He’s not oblivious, he knows that Luke is hurt by the comments the demons make about him (although he can’t help but add on to the teasing sometimes)

He’s happy to see Luke make such good friends, you and Barbatos, and even Beel.

He’s also quite pleased with your ability to interact with children, not that Luke is immature but he definitely is young for an angel/immortal being,

He knows it’s been tough for Luke to go from literal HEAVEN to HELL but now that you’re here, it’s not as bad.

Solomon

Okay this shithead is definitely not going to take it easy on any of you,

He’s going to tease you left and right, why? No one knows

It’s because he’s a lil shit but let’s ignore that

Anyways, because you baby Luke so much, he imprints on you. He won’t let ANYONE insult MC

So when Solomon starts his daily rounds, he’s actually met by a furious Luke.

It’s kinda cute ngl

You are protecting Luke, in return Solomon teases you for protecting Luke, then Luke gets mad at Solomon for teasing you whole unbeknownst to you all, Solomon won’t STAND for MC and Luke slander

[digisims2]

I'm going through my projects folder and deleting old things I no longer need or forgot what it was all about and I'm finding some really weird things and thought I'd share some with everyone. :D

This is going to be long post with bunch of pictures so I'll put the rest under the read more. Oh um, warning possible bodyhorror / trypophobia right under the cut!

For starters self, what the hell is this?

I wish I had any idea. Clearly it's an eye mask with... a lot of eyes. For what reason? I don't know. I have no recollection of creating this thing but apparently I did so back in October 2019. Maybe it was going to be a Halloween gift? That's like the only sensible idea I have. I think the texture for it is kind of really pretty though:

It just stares at you, unblinking, forever disappointed. Unthreateningly it was just called "facemask" so I had no idea what awaited when I clicked on it. This was not what I expected it to be.

Moving on, what the hell is this and why have I made it?

Also fresh from 2019. Judging by the textures it's a "conversion" of some Sims 4 makeup but I have no idea why it exist. I can't think of a single reason why I'd want this sort of eyeshadow in my game. To the trash it goes.

Then I found these simple eyes:

I don't think I ever finished them, from 2020. Apparently they were supposed to be kinda like this anime/game character since his picture was pasted in the texture:

Yeah I don't know either + the reference image is damn near useless, you can barely even see the eyes so A+ job me! Anyway these eyes aren't anything special so I'm deleting them too now.

Then I found these eyes, they're titled as "newdefaulteye" so clearly I had big plans for them.

Apparently I've exported them somewhere since the .psd in the folder has all the colors. These are from February 2021. I think they're actually quite pretty so I'm confused about why I haven't shared them. Here's a closeup of a better color so you can see the details on the texture:

Seriously, it is nice isn't it? Why did I not finish and share these? I will never know. Maybe I'll slap them on a normal shaded sclera though, I know you don't appreciate my animation friendly one :P and then I'll remake and actually upload them.

Messily made pulled up version of.... I think Trapping's mesh?

This one I actually remember, I had seen plenty of such tops for Sims 3 and 4 and just thought "Hm, wonder if I could do something like that using an existing Sims 2 top?" and then did it. It clips like hell in game but I still have it and its recolors since nobody still has made (a better) such top for Sims 2. Wink wink nudge nudge at anyone with actual meshing skills.

Another unshared eye:

She looks as dead inside as I feel at work. Not going to finish these either since I don't like them so off to the bin with them.

Another eye set:

These were sort of version one for the July2022 eyes I did share. I wasn't happy with these so the version which I shared was born. Now I almost like these more than those so maybe I'll go back to them and try again?

Then I guess I tried painting eyebrows at some point last December?

Pretty sure the idea was to mirror it once I'd be happy with it but then I ended up never being happy with it. I'm still not happy with it and too grumpy to try again, to the trash bin.

Some animation friendly eyes I gave up after finishing the base texture:

And that's it. So many things I've just dropped and never finished. Maybe some of them drew a chuckle out of you or something.

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream’s Conversation With Tubbo After the Exile

[December 7 2020]

Ghostbur: “And...and -- and you’re President, and you’re doing a great job, and...even Dream -- Dream himself seems happier!”

Tubbo: “He does! He’s being -- he is, he’s been on the server an awful lot. Whether that’s a good sign or a bad one, he definitely seems more positive.”

Ghostbur: “Oh! Speaking of the Devil.”

Tubbo: “Dream actually, the other day, declared L’manburg actually a recognized official state, which is…”

Dream: “Hello!”

Tubbo: “Hello!”

Ghostbur: “Hello, Dream! How are you?”

Dream: “Hello, Wilbur!”

Tubbo: “Hi! This -- he’s just showing me some cool new stuff, showed me…”

Dream: “Cool!”

Ghostbur: “Have some blue, please.” (He throws Dream some blue)

Tubbo: “Yeah, you’re gonna -- you’re gonna need some of that.” (He throws Dream some blue as well)

Dream: “Thank you.”

Dream: “Um, can I give you a real quick update on the walls?”

Tubbo: “Yeah yeah yeah, of course! I saw they were gone, I was over the moon!”

Dream: “Oh, yeah, well they’re not completely gone yet, but unless someone has finished the job, which -- ooh, they might’ve! But yeah, there’s still some back there--”

…

Tubbo: “Dream, it looks great! Thank you so much for keeping your word.”

Dream: “Yeah! No problem! Um, I thought there was one thing I didn’t technically keep my word on, so I thought I’d be upfront about it.”

Tubbo: “What?”

Dream: “The obsidian? I have another thing I could use it for, so it was all used up -- you can ask Sam, um…”

Tubbo: “Ohhh, okay. That’s okay! I don’t think we’ll need any obsidian, we don’t need to defend or hide anything or seal anything away, so I think we’ll be fine. I mean, that’s the only uses I can think of, so.”

Ghostbur: “If Tommy’s in exile, why don’t you put the obsidian around him?”

Tubbo: “Wilbur, you’re meant to try and cheer him up, here. I don’t know if that would be the best for his mood!”

Ghostbur: “You said that would bring peace! Having Tommy out has brought peace to everything.”

Tubbo: “Yeah, there is currently peace right now, except for -- I was told there was a war yesterday, but hey, I don’t…”

Dream: “Oh yeah, that -- I mean I -- we resolved it semi-peacefully. Quackity did some dumb stuff, I’m sure he’ll tell you, but--”

Tubbo: “Oh, okay, okay.”

Dream: “We resolved it pretty quickly.”

Tubbo: “I don’t have to exile him too, do I? Please for the love of god.”

Dream: “No, no we resolved it, we resolved it.”

Ghostbur: “You can still leave when there’s obsidian around you, can’t you?”

Tubbo: “Yeah, but it takes a while, and no one wants to mine that crap.”

Ghostbur: “Oh, oh! I didn’t mean to imprison him, I just meant put it around him, you know? To keep his goods, and like we did with L’manburg.”

Tubbo: “Ohhh. Oh yeah, that -- I mean I guess the walls could’ve been seen as a way to keep the goods in. Yeah. The lanterns are nice...”

Dream: “I wanna say, I really like the way...I wanna say, L’manburg’s been looking so nice recently.”

Tubbo: “Have you seen under the water!”

Dream: “Yeah, the water’s insane, yeah!”

Tubbo: “Like, oh my god, it’s got coral, and sea pickles…”

Dream: “The whole nation’s just incredible.”

Tubbo: “Thanks, Dream! You’ve never been this positive about it before.”

Dream: “Well, I said this, I mean I’ll be honest with you, I said this to Quackity the other day, but I truly think that with you as President, L’manburg can thrive! Because before that, I mean, I -- no offense to…” 

(he looks at Ghostbur) 

“Before that, I don’t think there was...there was Presidents that may not’ve...been so good. But...but you! I think that you are fair, and you are just, and I think you proved that.”

Tubbo: “Thanks, Dream.”

Dream: “And here, I’ll take my armor off.”

Tubbo: “Oh, yeah yeah yeah -- thank you! -- You’ve never honored the laws of L’manburg before! Oh my god!”

Dream: “Well, I never recognized it!”

Tubbo: “This is a big day! Holy crap!”

…

(Tubbo and Dream discuss where the borders of L’manburg lie. Dream leaves it up to Tubbo to dictate where the borders fall, as long as he doesn’t encroach on parts that are specifically Dream SMP territory)

Tubbo: “We should probably write up a treaty as well, declaring open borders.”

Dream: “Yeah! That’d be good.”

Tubbo: “So then, for the next President’s term, the treaty still stands. Unless I’m...overthrown.”

Dream: “Yeah! That sounds good to me. When’s the next -- is there gonna be an election?”

Tubbo: “Yeah, the 2nd of February is actually the end of my first term. I do plan on running again, but I know that other people are showing interest.”

Dream: “Mm. Very cool. Yeah, it definitely expands out past here, so...I’ve noticed -- I think, obviously, I think Tommy...eh, I dunno, I think it’s been a bit better since Tommy is out of here, since he...you know, he creates all the conflict and stuff, but...I think sometimes, it’s like time out, you know. Like maybe he can come back one day, you know?”

Tubbo: “I hope one day he can come back.”

Dream: “I always think forever, but…”

Tubbo: “Just for a real note, while we’re on such good terms, I was hoping one day in the future -- not necessarily soon, but just...you know. Visitation rights. If you know what I mean?”

Dream: “Yeah, I think that’s maybe something -- you know, at least a few weeks, probably, before we can discuss that, but I think a few weeks pass, we discuss it, maybe he can --”

Tubbo: “After things cool off a bit.”

Dream: “Yeah, yeah. I think if things cool off, maybe he could get visitation, but I couldn’t see him ever coming back, but being able to, you know...he did request visitation on Christmas day, so.”

Tubbo: “Oh! That would be quite nice. We’ll have to wait and see.”

Dream: “Yeah, that sounds...do you have any big projects planned? What is this?”

Tubbo: “Well, for today, I was gonna be going around putting up billboards -- this is a chess board.”

“Have you ever played chess, Dream?”

[godhasforsnakenme]

November was quite productive at the beginning, so much that I made a damn list with a bit of commentary:

Loki s2 Ending :D (just murder me k? but also lokius canon idgaf; also have you seen the fanart where croki takes over tree sitting for a while so loki can go back to mobius for the holidays omfg the best thing ever)

Fellow Travelers (p*ramount+, on-going plus I read the book [have yet to finish the book lol])

Continuing Psych (half way through s3 now, and I'd just like to say thar it always breaks my heart a bit when Shawn realizes his mom was the one that left his dad, not the other way around [bc of course Henry would take the blame and just take the hate from Shawn all these years just to keep Madeleine in good graces]

Rewatch of Hunger Games (yes, also read the books)

Vuelve a Mí (p*acock, on-going)

Elemental (d*sney)

No Hard Feelings (2023)

All the Light We Cannot See

Rewatch of The Pacific & Band of Brothers (first watched in high school during our WWII unit in History 101/102; then during that one weekend in the hospital during 2020)

Rewatch of Six Feet Under (Peter Krause, my beloved)

Backdraft (1991) [this also begun a Robert DeNiro film rewatch including Hide & Seek, Awakening {which lead to a Robin Williams film rewatch and then me rereading Chris Van Allsburg's entire children's book catalog because it's some of my favorite content from when I was in 3rd grade} oh boy it turned into a rabbit hole very fast didn't it? ]

Danny Phantom + Over The Garden Wall (cannot believe I waited this long into the fall season and well past spooky month to watch them omfg)

Goosebumps Series (again with the waiting for the last month of fall to watch the spooky month stuff omfg, anyway I enjoyed it)

The Spiderwick Chronicles (planning on rereading the books as well [gonna see if I want to rent them through libby or just buy the set? But then I want the classic covers on them that I remember from elementary school)

Bridgewater (podcast, both seasons [picking it back up from where I left off back in 2021 because that's that one year I dropped a lot of projects due to the shit show that was November and yeah I then said welp s2 is out next year and continued to push it back until now)

Yellowstone (reminded us of longmire, can't wait for s5 part b)

Doctor Who Specials (had us in the first half [twice] ngl [did a separate post with my final thoughts on the giggle, so yeah, that's that {feel like I need to rewatch the Christmas special to get an honest opinion out of it bc I watched it while a bit distracted])

For December, it's short because I spent my afternoons shopping and giftwrapping; also, the days really go by quick because for the most part I spent them in other people's company :)

Per tradition, the SpongeBob s1 special 'Christmas Who?'

Then all three versions of The Grinch to keep it festive lol (little grinch in the animated version with Benny boy is adorable)

Dr. Death s1 (oh boy, gonna start s2 soon)

Last, and most definitely think least lmaoooo, What If s2 because I like the animations and quick snippets of aus (but trust and believe I hate the fucking c*ptain carter narrative with a passion)

And that's a wrap on all the stuff I watched in 2023! Might do this again, who knows or might even just do a books finished reading thing or anything else I join in on lol

Oh, and honorable mention: since like the summer, I've been joining in on tiktok to watch streamer Hawkeyedood & his mario64 speed runs; think he deserves an award because that is one thing I joined in to watch just about everytime the notification went off without eventually getting bored of it lol

January's brain rot was mostly Obikin, plus whatever else my brain has decided to completely blank on (it was a long month okay?)

February would like to add on Longmire & Miraculous to the mix, along with the yearly switching from football to baseball mode

[achillieus]

let you down. (sebastian stan x reader)

summary: it's a universal truth but it's worth repeating; feelings eat us raw. or just an actor and a girl falling in and out of love over the course of three months.

(this was inspired by sebastian's visit to greece for his movie, monday, and is based on that, so that means in the story we’re in 2018. also i have this posted on ao3 too but while i’m writing the last parts i thought of posting it here too)

pairing: sebastian stan x reader

warnings: alcohol, sexual references, implied depression, don’t kill me because of the ending, sebastian and reader are the definition of right person wrong time, it's kinda slowburn because i love the yearning, also this part has some funny moments but overall it’s a big SOB

part: 6/6 (there will also be an epilogue)

(other parts)   (masterlist)

This is how it ends: broken hearts from crashed dreams.

Sebastian holds you until his muscles ache and your lungs burn from the feeling of too little oxygen. It is cold and dark, almost midnight, too dark, a starless night.

No more stars for you and I.

“Here,” Voice hoarse, eyes heavy-lid and itching from almost crying. He gives you one of the rings he wore in the movie. “I want you to keep this.”

Keep it close to your heart. Forget me not.

He takes a breath and a step back, tries to regain all the strength he still has, steady feet and shoulders fixed. He digs his nails into his palms, red marks in his skin, air catching in his throat, he’s on the verge of falling but he stays standing.

He remembers tears glistening down his cheeks, maybe they were yours not his, and the cold autumn wind hitting his face and he remembers feeling like he’s dying.

And then he closes the door of Argyris’ car and looks at you.

And his heart stretches and stretches and stretches and then somehow splits in half.

/

It goes like this:

There’s a ghost that lives in your apartment from now on. In the living room. Sitting on the couch. And it has steel blue eyes and a familiar heart. And it whispers a love story, half-finished, and you cannot make it stop.

The ghost touches your collarbone and he’s gone but there’s a ring in a golden chain around your neck and a white shirt forgotten in your laundry. And it smells like him. The clinging scent of his aftershave sticking to your pores. Eucalyptus. And no matter how hard you try to wash it off, it still lingers.

How could I ever forget someone like you?

The ghost lives here, but the place is empty, so empty. And it’s hard not to cry.

/

Sebastian calls and texts a lot.

He tells you he’s tired but excited because he started filming a new movie. It’s very indie and experimental, I can’t wait for you to see it. He tells you he’s missing his days in Greece like hell and that one night he dreamt of you. Didn’t want to wake up. What he doesn’t tell you is that he’s coming back in a month, Argyris needs him for some extra scenes. It’s nearly killing him but he doesn’t tell you. He wants to surprise you, see the pure light in your eyes when they’ll meet his.

/

You try sexting. It doesn’t go very well.

23:50, sebastian: if you were here in my bed right now what would you be doing

06:51, you: probably falling asleep hahaha

06:51, you: oh fuck was i supposed to sext back

06:51, you: sorry seb i just woke up and i have a class in an hour, love you <3

23:52, sebastian: fuck timezones

/

(three weeks and 10 seconds later)

“I can’t believe she doesn’t know you’re here,” Argyris shakes his head as he’s driving home from the airport, “If I were her, I’d kill you.”

“Good thing I didn’t fall in love with you.”

Sebastian laughs and looks out of the car window. The stars. There are so many stars tonight. He holds his breath; he’s finally feeling whole again. His heart isn’t split in two anymore.

/

You don’t know how long you stand there at your door, staring at him, but it feels like a century before he grins, almost laughs, takes your hands in his and you start considering that perhaps this isn’t a hallucination. Perhaps it’s real.

“Surprise?”

Something inside of you bursts, your organs twitch. You can’t think, you can’t speak, but you can move. You don’t lose any more time, you take a step forward, attach your bodies, your face buried in his neck, your fingers clutching into the rough fabric of his jacket. You breathe him in like an antidote.

“How?”

“Does it matter?”

“No.”

You kiss him and it’s like poetry, like art, like honey and you can’t separate yourself from him, not even hours later.

/

(looking back, these were the golden days)

You pretending to be mad at him for not telling you he was coming back and him pressing his lips on your skin, drawing patterns on your naked shoulder. A feathery touch.

Sebastian always touches you like you’re something made of gold and porcelain, something cherished that constantly needs to be treasured. And nobody has done that before. And you love him for it.

You try to decorate your Christmas tree together. He messes with the lights for a while, eventually gives up and goes on to eat too many reindeer shaped cookies.

He massages your muscles when you write a boring essay for college.

You go with him when he has to shoot a “driving a motorcycle naked in the centre of Athens” scene and you bite the inside of your cheeks to stop smiling like an idiot.

He gives you a dress he bought for you in New York.  

“You didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I wanted to.”

He calls you sweetheart in the mornings, still half asleep and later joins you in the shower.

“Why are you so hot?”

“Climate change”

“Oh, shut up”

It’s tender and it’s soft and it’s human.

And that’s the saddest part.

/

Soon you realize that him leaving two months ago was merely a rehearsal and you still haven’t said your actual goodbyes. Your chest starts to feel as if it’s full of crushed glass.

And it’s ridiculous because you fell in love with Sebastian sometime between the first ten days you spent together.

Who falls in love in ten days?  

Ridiculous or not, you know you are in love with him just as you know that sooner or later, whatever he is feeling will fade and wither. Maybe it’ll be in a week, maybe it’ll be in a month, maybe in a year if you’re lucky. But there will definitely come a day when he will step out of a gala or a party or a fancy gym in New York with a beautiful model in his arms and two paparazzi’s following him around.

What will you be then?

A past small cameo in his life. A side character. Will he remember your name?

He is your whole world.

(a bottle of cheap prosecco helps you decide that)

He is your whole world.

And yet, there will come a day when he won’t even remember your name.

/

It was difficult. No, it was the most difficult thing you’ve ever done. Telling him how you think it’d be better if you didn’t talk after he leaves.

“I don’t agree with this.”

“Seb, it’s for the best.”

Your body doesn’t feel strong enough to carry your heart. And you’re certain it will only get worse once he’s away. The world around you will melt. You’ll obsess over a phone screen and his messages. You’ll start chasing ghosts again. You can’t handle that.

“Why?” He says urgently and his fingers dance over the flesh of your palms.

“Because this”, you motion your hand between the two of you, “is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever had in my life and I don’t want it to become ugly.”

He nods, he understands.

“I love you, you know,” he says smiling and tugs you closer to him, “And I may not be here to show you but I think I’ll love you for a long time.”

Your hand grips his waist right to the bones and something flares in your eyes, something wild that wrenches you around.

“I know, I’ll love you the same.”

“Maybe we’ll meet again.”

“Only if I’m the luckiest girl on the planet.”

He laughs and you look at him, fully aware he’ll be ripped out of your life like a page from a cheap leather notebook. And when you kiss for the last time, there’s a hole forming in your soul.

And just because endings don’t leave visible scars to one’s body and soul, that doesn’t mean the scars don’t exist. You know they do, because you feel the aching pain of every single one of them.

/

(every night when you close your eyes you see him)

(every night you look at the stars and think of him)

/

A month passes and Argyris asks you if you miss him.

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

“He said the exact same thing.”

You tell him not to mention Sebastian again.

Two months pass and you need to stop stalking his instagram profile.

Three months pass and you almost text him.

Four months pass and you go to watch Endgame with some friends and you cry. You cry when Black Widow sacrifices herself and when Iron Man smiles at his wife while dying, and when Bucky Barnes appears on screen.

The others don’t understand and you don’t blame them.

Five months pass and Argyris’ girlfriend wants you to meet someone. A charming boy your age with blonde hair and a lip piercing.

And he's cute but you compare him to Sebastian even before he has the chance to say his name. His eyes are not the right shade of blue and he doesn’t look at you like you’re made of the world’s finest jewel.

And he doesn’t know any constellation names.

And then more than a year passes in a second and you learn to not look for him. Not anymore.

/

It’s early March 2020 and despite the rising fear of the upcoming pandemic, you’re doing well. Scars are starting to fade. And after spending two weeks in Prague, your best friend being there with an exchange program, Sebastian Stan is the farthest thing from your mind.

Until he literally comes crashing into you. At the airport.

No, it can’t be him.

You have your suitcase on one hand and a bottle of antiseptic gel on the other. He has two bodyguards on his sides and a black hoodie on.  And while half of his face is hidden behind a mask, you can see his eyes perfectly. A frozen lake in December. You would know those eyes in your deathbed, at the end of the world.

Your vision gets blurry and suddenly you feel cold.

He won’t recognize me, he can’t.

But then he looks at you and every memory you had buried inside of you resurfaces.

He motions to his guards to wait for him and he starts walking towards you. You breathe slowly, one breath at a time. He takes his mask off and you hesitate to take yours, not sure if you truly want him to see you.

You exchange the typical and very awkward hi, how are you, i’m glad you’re doing okay and then he smiles and it feels comfortable. Familiar.

It’s the whiff of another time that you always kept around. A reminder that you were once loved by a god.

“What are you doing here?”

“Filming Falcon and the Winter Soldier”

If you hadn’t unfollowed him on instagram, you’d known.

“Ah yes I heard about that, congrats.”

He nods a thank you.

“And you? In Prague?”

“I was at a friend.”

He looks conflicted, hurt, turns his gaze to his shoes on the grey cement. You want to say something, but you feel like throwing up.

And then he laughs.

“I was right.”

You’re confused, he notices.

“Back in Greece,” he swallows, “I told you this would happen.”

“It would have been an airport, different gates for each of us, but same waiting hall. Or a Greek island, where we’d both be for the summer.”

“I would have found you.”

You remember and you cannot help but smile. He was right. He found you.

“I didn’t believe you then.”

I barely believe you now.

He touches your hair. And his touch is like a knife. And you want to cry. Magnolias under your tongue. A love long lost is whispering in your ears until it hurts to listen. He’s like a magnetic field and you feel yourself drowning in him.

“I bet they’ll ask me a hundred questions about you later.” He says and looks at the two men waiting for him.

“And what will you tell them?”

“That you’re most probably the love of my life.”

Don’t cry, don’t cry.

“There’s no way we’d meet here if you’re not.”

“Sebastian,” His name sounds like a prayer coming out of your lips and you're ready to tell him you love him and you can swear he looks like he’s ready to faint, “I-”

The guards yell his name. And it's the same feeling people have just before a car crash.

“I’m sorry, I have to go.”

One last look.

Don’t cry, don’t cry.

You repeat it over and over again. But you fail.

“No, don't cry” He smiles, one last smile, “Just look at the stars and wait for us to meet again, because we will.”

He caresses the back of your palm for a second and you think your ribcage is shattering but it’s only your heart drumming frantically. Pushing your fragile bones to break. 

You want to stop him, wrap your arms around his torso, never let him go. Not again. But you don’t.

You just watch him leave, one more time, your knees weak, your head heavy and dizzy. For the split of a moment he turns and glances at you but then he’s nowhere to be seen.

Perhaps it was all in your imagination. Perhaps it was nothing but a wonder.

You get into your plane and you silently sob.

/

And then it’s summer.

And you overhear he was seen with a girl, the day before your vacation starts and you find a picture of them together a week later, a pretty blonde girl clinging to his side with a colorful bikini somewhere in Spain. And he’s smiling. And you feel so ashamed. And so stupid.

They say time heals all wounds but they must be wrong because you can’t forget how he used to smile at you or how he used to call you the love of his life.

Was he joking when he said you'll meet again? You bet if you asked him now, he wouldn't even remember saying it.

I’ll love you for a long time.

So long for nothing.

/

i really appreciate feedback, it motivates me tons and also tell me if you’d like to be tagged :) also i’m really sorry if you asked me to tag you and i didn’t  but i lost a lot of asks and the urls of the people that sent them :( 

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