#oh no :( last one in my queue i should do some more soon!e!

[piggyette]

i treat ask games like surveys this is make me admit stuff by lost-head-adventure or smth idk its deactiviated

Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

not including messages i consider too private to share on tumblr. yes

You talked to an ex today, correct?

nope.

Have you taken someones virginity?

no i dont think so. all of my partners have been more experienced than me

Is trust a big issue for you?

yes ): im working on it

Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

i like lots of people but as far as "crushes", no not recently. i should though

What are you excited for?

my partner system to get home from work. our next grocery run. autumn. my birthday next month

What happened tonight?

i posted about that today but, other than all that, i ate some pizza... honestly i should write or record or something tonight

Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

no? wasted chicks are super funny

Is confidence cute?

confidence is hot yeah

What is the last beverage you had?

a monster. i should get water or something

How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

none but i dont really talk to a lot of people. only the women in my family and i cant trust them. its not about being the opposite sex tho

Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

yes

What are you gonna do Saturday night?

its sunday rn but yesterday i cried so hard i gave myself a headache and listened to a new album

What are you going to spend money on next?

probably a new microphone or sushi

Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

yes

Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

yes? of course

Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

my partner system, but specifically mar, rich, robin, and trent

The last time you felt broken?

today at like 7pm

Have you had sex today?

yeah lol <3

Are you starting to realize anything?

being 23 aint shit. i dont know fuckin anything.

Are you in a good mood?

its alright. could be better

Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

yeah theyre chill

Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

no thank gawd. otherwise id be the type of douchebag to go around calling my shit hazel.

What do you want right this second?

a haircut... jack... a punch to the jaw. (not sft text beyond this point to the end of the answer) to be dressed up in vinyl lingerie to match someone elses military gear and ride his dick while gagging on his fingers

What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

nothing. id end up in jail

Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

nah i recently dyed my roots again. its black but im a natural blonde

Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

usually people who arent intentionally witty are unintentionally hilarious so thats hard to picture. but if our humor just isnt compatible i mean. maybe. probably not tho that speaks to a lot of other shit

What was the last thing that made you laugh?

@fuckin-pistol-whipped's replies

Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

yeah. sunset eyes, if this somehow gets back to you, im sorry i didnt give you a better warning. ill be back sooner than you know. it wont be months this time. i want to figure something out but i dont want to keep giving you half promises. soon, i dont know when. i love you. it means something, i swear.

Does everyone deserve a second chance?

yeah id say so

Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

sometimes <3

Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

oh yeah for sure. i think we're in a situationship. maybe we're dating? idk i cant rember. god i need to see him again soon. i should watch some videos or smth

Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

nah but i usually drink diet soda. if im buying it out at like a gas station or smth ill go full sugar cuz its just a one time thing but. i think i drink two diet cokes a day. i dont always finish em

Listening to?

+ shuffle queue

Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

yeah but i prefer pen tbh. i keep like two hand notebooks a pencil and a pen on me at all times

Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

probably at his house with his cats. or with his band

Do you believe in love at first sight?

i believe in instant chemistry but love is kinda something u collaborate on. its like a living thing. ive recently figured out that two people can be in love and still wanna maim each other a little bit from time to time

Who did you last call?

@fadenkreuze but thats like a given. it was @antichristxsuperstar in front

Who was the last person you danced with?

my cat. it counts, in my book

Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

we were having sex and i guess my mouth just looked that good hanging open and drooling

When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

i dont think its been a year but. it was probably springtime i wanna say-- no, late winter. valentines day cupcakes. mini ones.

Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

nah im not a hugger. he knows i like him ok tho

Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

i dont believe in embarassment. but yea sometimes i make a fool of myself. usually it makes em giggle and then its fine <3

Do you tan in the nude?

i do a lot of things in the nude but i dont tan. im goth so

If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

i dont remember it

Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

yes actually it was rich. hey rich

Who was the last person to call you?

Do you sing in the shower?

yes sometimes but i sing all the time

Do you dance in the car?

Ever used a bow and arrow?

Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

Do you think musicals are cheesy?

no theyre an art form. i think A musical can be cheesy but not all of em. having said that ive never been a huge theater person but ill watch a bootleg every now and then

Is Christmas stressful?

it doesnt have to be but some people make it stressful. its lonely tbh

Ever eat a pierogi?

yep. theyre p good

Favorite type of fruit pie?

peach

Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

equestrian, veternarian, rockstar.

Do you believe in ghosts?

"do you believe in barometric pressure" "do you believe in wool fibers" "do you believe in the oxidation of metals"

Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

all the time

Take a vitamin daily?

Wear slippers?

yes and i encourage others to do so as well

Wear a bath robe?

nope too warm and humid where i am

What do you wear to bed?

the buff

First concert?

it was a festival for nu metal bands in like 2008 or something. metalfest i think it was? or something close to that name. i dont remember all the acts that played but mudvayne was there i know for sure

Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

in my town theres only a walmart but i prefer target

Nike or Adidas?

Cheetos Or Fritos?

fritos are more versatile. remind me of chilis and soups

Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Favorite Taylor Swift song?

Ever take dance lessons?

Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

yeah. professional cocksucker

Can you curl your tongue?

some people cant do that?

Ever won a spelling bee?

this is a traumatizing memory for me i refuse to elaborate

Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

yes often. usually during sex

What is your favorite book?

i hate these questions cuz then i forget every single book ive ever read. idk ill say the most recent book i read. the long hard road out of hell by marilyn manson

Do you study better with or without music?

with but it has to be instrumental or so loud its mind numbing owwww speaking of my ear fuckin hurts fuck you billy corgan

Regularly burn incense?

not anymore

Ever been in love?

Who would you like to see in concert?

obvious answers are like. mm. nin. slipknot (but like in 2002 or smth).

What was the last concert you saw?

in person? i dont even remember. its been over a decade

Hot tea or cold tea?

cold tea always preferable

Tea or coffee?

coffee. also cold

Favorite type of cookie?

sugar cookie or chocolate chip

Can you swim well?

nah

Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

yes??

Are you patient?

extraordinarily

DJ or band, at a wedding?

either or. both? both

Ever won a contest?

nope

Ever have plastic surgery?

nah

Which are better black or green olives?

ew

Opinions on sex before marriage?

theres another type of sex?

Best room for a fireplace?

the den

Do you want to get married?

yes

[oonessawness]

@regalrain asked: Lethargyy or foggy with Illi please?

Pretty boy with a pretty DUMB hat.

Art meme here !

[ rbs > likes ]

[scuttle-buttle]

Chapter 15

WC: 1082

Rated: E

Chapter Tags: angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of depressed mood

🧠

The dreams of the doctor don’t stop even after he dismisses you, but they do change. Now the dreams take on a completely different tone. They are full of confusion and fear and loss. You’ll be in some mundane place when suddenly you see him in the distance, that steely gaze on you as he examines you from afar. It feels as though you are his prey, although he never pounces. Instead, the second you try to get close to him he turns to leave, or he vanishes in thin air, as though he never existed. You get so close but you can never reach him.

In the waking hours you do your best to ignore your emotions in favor of finding another job. You know that if you allow yourself to dwell you might shut down completely at how suddenly life went in the gutter, losing both your source of income and the man you’d grown so attached to. More than two weeks have passed. Each day you grow more frustrated at the lack of jobs that meet your needs as a student. Those that do appear to fit your schedule have yet to call and schedule and interview. So you wait.

You distracted yourself by throwing your energy into your graduate work when you weren’t searching for jobs. Late nights were being spent at the library. Once, you had even just slept on the small couch overnight instead of going home. It was easier to focus on your work than to get lost in the thoughts of him. At least your advisor was happy; lord knows someone deserved to be.

Bitsy knows you are depressed. She says nothing and spares you pitying looks. She knows that if you want to talk that she is there to listen. But only when you’re ready. At night you lay in bed in a trance-like state; it was the only time you allowed yourself to think of him. Over and over again you recount what happened between you and the doctor. It made less sense the longer you obsessed. You had been so certain that you weren’t alone in your feelings. But his dismissal of you from the post as his TA made it clear just how wrong you were. You had crossed a line.

“Hey, how are you? I haven’t seen you in a while,” a quiet voice spoke next to you, breaking the quiet that was the library.

You look up from where your head is propped on your fist. It’s Sara. You sit up straight. “Hi. I’m, uh…. I’m good.” You cringe at how unconvincing you sound.

“Shouldn’t you be with Laszlo right now? Or is he here too?” she asks, leaning her hip on the table at which you sit.

You blink at her. Voice as controlled as you can manage you respond with “Did he not tell you?”

Sara looks deep in concentration for a moment. Her brows scrunch; “tell me what?”

Now your annoyance grows. Clearly she, and you assume by proxy John, had no idea what transpired between you and the doctor. “He let me go. Said he didn’t need my help anymore. I haven’t seen him in weeks.” You can’t meet her eyes as you confess.

She gasps in her shock. “Did he give a reason?” As much as you like and trust her, you fear exposing the truth. You shrug. Under her breath she mutters “that man wouldn’t know a gift horse if it looked him in the damned mouth.” She shakes her head, her own annoyance clear in her features. “Do you need anything? Are you looking for another placement? It’s a little late in the term but I can put in a good word for you?”

Once more you lie; “No, that’s alright thank you. I have a few interviews lined up this week. I’ll manage fine.” She nods, a guilty look on her face.

“Well if anything should change, you know where to find me. Perhaps one night soon we can even have a girls night and catch up.” She checks the time on her phone. “I have to get going, but let me know alright.” She offers a smile and a squeeze on your shoulder as she goes.

Half an hour goes by with you just staring at your laptop. An email alert breaks you from the nothingness. Opening the document, you see it is a paycheck deposit notification. You do a double take. It is dated after Kreizler dismissed you. “What… there’s no way this is right?” You huff. The last thing you need to have the feds come after you for accidental fraud or something, so you pack up and head to the student affairs office.

When you reach the front of the queue you paste on your best smile. “Roger, dear how have you been? It’s been months. How’re the wife and kids?”

The portly man squints at you before finally deciding that “oh, I remember you. What can I do for you this time?”

“I got a paycheck for a TA job that I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to have. Can you check the system please?” He types away for a short period of time.

“Yes, it says you received the standard wage for the most recent 2 week pay period.”

“Exactly,” you point at him with a finger.

He looks over his bifocals at you. “I’m not sure what the problem is here?”

“I don’t have the job anymore,” you explain.

He frowns as he inspects the screen in front of him. “Says here you do. Did your supervisor formally withdraw you from the position? It’s part of their contractual obligations.”

“I don’t… I don’t know.”

“Looks like they didn’t change it in the system. You’ve still got the position.”

You scratch at your forehead trying to make sense of everything. Why hadn’t he taken you off the listing? He knew how much you needed the job, how much you needed the money- The realization that he must have done this on purpose hits you like a freight train. You scoff.

Roger looks you up and down for a moment before asking if he can help you with anything else. Keeping your tone as polite as you can manage in your anger, you tell him “no, thank you, Roger. You’ve been a big help.”

You leave the student center, marching at a brutal pace to find Laszlo and give him a piece of your mind.

Tag list

@hardlyinteresting @lorna-d-m @livvyshmiv @somethingthatsaysbubbles @greeneyedblondie44 @unbeatablecurlgirl @apparrio @marchingicenotes7 @anteroom-of-death @bruhidaniel @lemairepstuff @thehuiabird @zemosimp05 @alindeluce @iamnotthecatladynextdoor @laura-naruto-fan1998 @trelaney @boneheadduluc @i-am-dead-inside-666 @fictionlandslanddreams @thatoneartgalsstuff

[aesthbaby]

You’re Not Alone

Summary: Angst story where Reader and Emily make a discovery after getting into an argument

Pairings: Emily Prentiss x reader (no gender is identified but it is stated that the reader is lgbtq+ and with Emily)

Request: @millipop18 this one

Warnings: Cursing | Arguments | Talk of homophobia

Wordcount: 1.5K

Masterlist

64. “Yell, scream, cry, please, just say something, anything.

67. “If you don’t want to talk about it then say so. Don’t lie and pretend to be fine when you clearly aren’t.”

“No, I don’t think that.” You’re defensive, and rightfully so. You fucked up and the evidence is written all over Emily’s face, you didn’t mean to hurt her. She damn near snapped on the spot right after you said it. You tried to defend yourself but of course Emily has a point, she always has a point.

“Why did you say that?” She doesn’t sound angry, she kind of sounds hurt.

“I said it without thinking, I didn’t mean it like that.” You and Em randomly decided you wanted to get tacos from the new place down the block after work. Everything was going fine until you ran into Matt Simmons and one of his kids. No idea which one it was, he has a shit ton.

“Well,” She trails quietly. “Did you mean it?” She stops what she’s doing and turns around to face you. Her dark eyes are pouring into your soul and its actually really intimidating to see. “Did you?” She repeats when you don’t answer.

“Did I what?” You’re distracted, you knew you shouldn’t have said that in front of her. Or at all for that matter of fact because it was so unlike you.

She puts down her phone and stiffens her expression. “Did you mean what you said?” Your mouth opens and closes without anything coming out. She scuffs and brushes past you; hitting your shoulder in the process. Shit y/n think! You stand there for a second, fidgeting with your fingers, and trying to find the right words. “Its a simple question, really.” She’s wearing her monotone voice and clenching her jaw.

“No...” You whisper like you’re afraid of your own voice.

Your girlfriend sits on the bench and moves to take her shoes off. “Y/n,” She spits your name out like gum, effectively getting your attention. “When Matt asked me who you were, you interrupted me and said...” She looks to you to finish her sentence but you stay quiet. “Of course.” She mumbles. “You told him, and I quote, “I’m just an old friend visiting the city.” Emily never really “yells” at you but its pretty obvious when she wants to. “What was that?” Her voice is rising. “Friend?!” Her eyes lock on you like prey and this is when you notice her anger is replaced by glistening tears. They’re barely there and Emily wouldn’t dare let them fall. As quick as you notice them, they’re gone again. Emily Prentiss does not cry.

“Em...I-” You’re anxiously clinching the collar of your shirt while trying to get the words out.

“You told him you were my friend...” She looks back down in defeat and it breaks your heart a little. You hear her sniffle and it just adds to the sadness building in your heart. When she looks at you again, her eyes are clear and her face is basically emotionless.

“Emily, baby, I am so sorry.” You sit beside her and gently lay your hand on hers.

She turns to you and asks, “Why?” That’s all she says.

Excuse me? Is what you wanted to say out of sheer shock. Obviously you said this instead: “I don’t know, Em. It just came out.”

“Right,” She nods to herself and then stands in front of you. “Y/n you and I both know this is very unlike you. I mean you’ve hesitated before when it came to telling people we’re dating but I-”

“Woah, when have I ever hesitated to tell people we were dating?” That one really threw you for a loop.

And she looks surprised that you even said anything. “Point being, I can’t help you if you don’t help me.”

The word “huh” was on the tip of your lips but you pushed it back. “Em, I’m okay.” You place your hand over your heart while speaking. “You’re the one who...” Your through suddenly feels dry.

“The one who’s...what? Upset?” You almost want to nod at that but decide against it. “But I’m not the one who said we were just friends.” Why is she talking to me like a unit chief? “And despite my current feelings, I know you.”

You swallow that information like a lump in your throat. “I’m okay.”

She sucks in a sharp breath. “No, you are not and I’d like to know why?” Is this what Reid feels like when the team talks to him? I feel like a child during a negotiation. Confused. You were just about to defend yourself when she spoke again. “Is this about your family?” As your expression, she moves on. “Do you not like Matt? Would you prefer it if our relationship was more private?” She pauses before asking the next one. “Is this about me?”

“What? No! Jesus Em I have nothing against you or us.” Its like the more emotional you get, the more neutral her face becomes.

“Then what is it y/n/n?” She takes your hands in hers. “What. Is. It?”

“I fucked up, I realized that as soon as I said it.”

She lets out another puff of air. “God what is up with you today? You never keep stuff from me. You’re the one who made this stupid rule about always telling the truth even if its undesirable and boring.” Gezz I didn’t think it was that bad of a rule. “If you don’t want to talk about it then say so. Don’t lie and pretend to be fine when you clearly aren’t.”

“Oh here we go again with the bullshit. Don’t fucking profile me, Emily.” You stand and head to the kitchen. “Don’t open that box.” As you reach towards the refrigerator handle, her hand stops you.

“What happened?” She’s practically begging you to answer her.

You give in. “I got a call yesterday. I thought I recognized the number but when I picked up the phone the voice sounded fake. Like it was run through an app. They said I should be more careful about flaunting my sexuality.” The words spilled out so quickly you didn’t know how to stop them.

She was stunned, mouth ajar.“I had no idea. When did this happen?”

“Last night. I didn’t really care at first because I thought it was one of my old friends, exes, or something like that. It wasn’t until we were out that it felt like we were being followed. So when we saw Matt I panicked.” The apartment is filled with complete and suffocating silence. Em is looking at you like she suddenly has no idea who you are. “Em...” You take a step to her while she takes one back. “Baby...come on.” She don’t respond, or move, speak, nothing. “Talk to me Em, please.” Nothing. “Yell, scream, cry, please, just say something, anything.”

You haven’t seen her look this concerned since the time you ran smack dead into a wall in the middle of the night. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice is so quiet. 

“Because I can handle myself, I was fine up until a few hours ago. It freaked me out. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” You step to her and wrap your arms around her waist. “I just couldn’t tell you.” 

“Yes, you could have. You’re not alone anymore y/n/n. You have to tell me about this stuff. You’re not the only one affected by it.”

“Shit. Babe I’m sorry I didn’t think about it like that.”

She strokes a piece of your hair near your forehead. “Its okay. I’m more upset with myself for not noticing sooner. I do this kind of stuff as a living, you’d think it come natural.”

You pull her flush against you. “I really fucked up this time.”

She laughs at that. “You did, but don’t worry. Tomorrow you will come to work with me and I’ll have my team look into it. For now,” she kisses the top of your head. “You should eat and then tap out for the night. Tomorrow’s gonna be a long day.”

You give her a confused expression. “What do you mean?”

“First we’ll have to go over that call with Garcia, consult with Reid on the wording, hire Derek as a body guard, come out to the entire team about our relationship, and of course we’ll have to get a dog.”

“I like the dog part.” As if on queue Sergio comes out of the bedroom and sits at your feet. “Sergio’s kind of boring.” Despite whispering the last part, Sergio still meows at it.

Em untangles herself from you to pick up her cat. “Y/n doesn’t mean it Serg.”

You lean in to the cat’s small ear. “Yeah I do.”

“Come on babe, lets double check the locks.” The brunette and her cat leave the kitchen to cover your ass.

When she comes back, she’s empty handed. “Where’s the feline?”

“My arms are only for you.” She opens her arms for you.

You walk into the embrace and god does it feel good. After a moment of pure bless you speak. “I’m scared, E.”

“We’re gonna be okay.” She pulls you even closer. “You’re gonna be okay.”

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･**･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*˚✧₊⁎ ⁎⁺˳✧༚ ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟ･*:.｡.｡.:*･'･*:.｡.

Taglist  (Like my Emily taglist to be added, or you can send me an Ask located in the top right corner of my profile. You can also ask to be removed if you’d like)

@iamyouknow-yours @mortallythoughtfulgurl @spencerreidistoocute @andreaxxg13 (sorry this tag isn’t working for some reason) @vivianabakshani @garcias-batcave @davidrossiismydad @ssacandi-ass-prentiss @criminalmindsmoodrn @miidguardian-exe @thestrawberrygirl @lisztomaniacalice @aaron-hotchner187 @fanfictionfangirl04 @mys2425 @afuckingshituniverse @nomit16 @rabid-wild-misfits​ @justaghostmonument

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Yuugiroku Drama - Thumb-Sized Samurai Tracks 1-4 (of 7)

This is my last post of the month, so I’ll end by asking you to please support me if you can through my ko-fi, and paypal or patreon which provides access to my hakuoki blog translations and early access to my postings. Also, please let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my Lookout List since i either do not have audio for those cds or do not have audio that I can share.... and if you are able to remove watermarks from a video, please contact me.  

Well... I’m finally done with all that i can translate for this drama. posting these tracks all together since im unable to continue translating the rest of this by myself... which is something i wouldn’t normally do because i prefer splitting tracks up for more items on my queue, tho that’s also a side-effect of me usually not being able to stay focused on one drama... not sure when i’ll get to the subtitle videos for these since im still pretty busy (while i have the first 3 tracks of this drama subtitled [unedited], at this rate, i might just wait for when finals are done and just focus on all my videos in bulk then... plus ive yet to receive the tl for track 6 and 7 [and need someone else to go over where the voices overlap in track 5], so that will likely cause further delays to the videos for this drama).

also i totally caved in and exchanged points for the yuukoku no moriarty stage play file with chinese subs that someone finished translating recently and bought the blu-ray for the 2nd musical. havent craved more content from a fandom this badly since about a few months before i decided that i would start translating hakuoki stuff lol. 

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 Limited Edition Bonus Drama CD “Thumb-sized Samurai”

Translation by KumoriYami

Track 1

Kazama: hehehe~ Sure enough/As expected, this medicine's blend of Forsythia grass and boiled eel, along with my yearning and passion....

Heh.....hehehahaha~!!! Success at last! This forbidden drug, it shall be named ——the New Ishida Sanyaku · Changed/Improved!!

Hm~. as long as this strange drug  "the New Ishida Sanyaku" is improved, it will become a panacea that will make people fall deeply in love.......

She obviously loves me, [however] my wife is is unable to honestly admit to her feelings [and] is tormented by the pain of love-sickness/My wife, tortured by love sickness, has refused to admit her feelings, isn't this medicine suitable for her?

Alright/Well, now that this medicine has been completed, this must be quickly brought to my wife to drink.

No, wait, just in case, the effects of this must be tested first. (Kazama begins walking off somewhere—)

Track 2

Harada: So that's it/all, Hijikata-san, that's all I can report on. Sure enough/As expected, the team members' most pressing concern is the security of headquarters.

Saito: My opinions/suggestions are almost the same/similar/the same as Sano's. I believe that we need to improve our defences against intruders.

Hijikata: Is that so. I understand what you guys are saying. Harada and Saito, you've worked hard....... That being said, it's difficult to completely prevent intruders from coming in. This place is a temple, not a fortress. Even if we installed a fence now, that isn't really a good plan.

Saito:.....So what you're saying is......

Harada: But, shouldn't the area around Chizuru's room at least be fortified? It is true that someone is after her.

Saito: Kazama Chikage, Amagri and Shiranui [check audio], the self-proclaimed group of oni......

Hijikata:......Indeed. In short I need to consult with Kondou-san about this....... Then, that'll be it for today's report.

Saito: Then I'll go make some tea. You should rest first. Sano, you should also drink some.

Harada: Oh, thanks a lot. Then I won't be impolite [rephrase later].

(Saito leaves then returns shortly after)

Saito: I've brought the tea. This is fresh[ly brewed] and hot, so please be careful.

Harada: Thank you. I didn't expect this so quickly.

Hijikata: (sips tea)......Oh, what's this, Saito? Did you use some other tea leaves today?

Saito: Nn?......No, I haven't done that.

Hijikata: Really? Then why do I feel that this tastes different from usual?

Harada: You didn't put poison in did you?

Saito:......!! Don't say such frightening words, Sano. The idea of me poisoning the Vice-Commander is complete nonsense. [i prefer the word 'utter']

Harada: Don't get angry, I was just kidding. (sips tea).......but, like Hijikata-san said, the taste of this tea really is odd/strange [tl says 'subtle']......

Saito: Strange? How could that be...... (sips tea)....!!

Harada: What's wrong? You've suddenly become quiet.

Saito: This taste is of...... Ishida Sanyaku ！？

Hijikata: Ahaha, I was thinking that this tasted a bit familiar, so that's what it was........ wa, wait! Why was that put into the tea!?

Harada: Saito..... you bastard, did you actually put Ishida Sanyaku into tea/you didn't actually put Ishida Sanyaku into tea did you? Even if you love that stuff, you should know when to stop before going too far [idiom. rephrase later]!

Saito: No......I would remember doing something like that. I only saw that the teapot lid was open, that there were tea leaves already inside, and that I was thinking how it could easily be brought over to be used......

Hijikata:......There was already tea inside? Did you notice if there was something strange/weird in the surroundings?

Saito: Speaking of which........ I saw something, I thought it was garbage so I ignored it, I think I remember how a note there was a written note saying "dedicated/specially for my wife. Dogs are strictly prohibited to touch this" or something like that.......

Hijikata: What, those words. From where do they....seem... familiar.......

(Hijikata collapses)

Saito: Vice-Commander!!

Harada: oi~ oi!! What's wrong, Hijikata-san! Why are you/why did you suddenly....... falling/collapsing/fall/collapse......!!

(Harada collapses)

Saito: Sano!! Why are you also......!!.......Why am I/How can I.......also....... be fainting........!

(Saito collapses)

Track 3

(footsteps)

Souji: Ha...... good grief, this is a real problem. I've long wanted to say this, but why is it necessary for us to submit a report about our patrols when nothing unusual happened?

Heisuke: I actually think that way too. But nothing can be done about this because of the rules~

Souji: Anyway, if nothing unusual happens, isn't it enough for Heisuke to make the report/that you make the report, Heisuke? I don't think I should be involved in giving it~

Heisuke: You just don't want to go to Hijikata-san's room. If you were giving a report to Kondou-san, you'd obviously be very happy.

Souji: That's because Hijikata-san sees me he won't stop talking as soon as he sees me. Before this, all I did was secretly prepared some ink and smeared a stone into it so that it turned black. He surprisingly became furious at me.

Heisuke:......Anyone who experienced this kind of thing would get really angry.......  Hijikata-san, we're coming in. (they stop walking and open a door) Hey~ Hijikata-san~! Eh? Ah? It seems that he isn't here?

Souji:......But, doesn't it look like he was was recently in the room? Look, something spilled on to the floor.

Heisuke: What~? Is it possible that he wasn't careful and spilled his teacup, then panicked as he left to go and get a towel to dry this?

Souji: Maybe. Anyhow/Speaking of which...... besides the tea, there seems to be some other strange thing on the floor...... What is this?

Heisuke:......Hijikata-san, Sano-san, and Hajime-kun? What are these, these puppets/figurines [or dolls] look very well made. These might be Hijikata-san's things, so it'd be better not to touch them.

Souji: Anyway it seems like he's not in his room right now. Nothing to be done about it then~ [we'll] hand in our report later.

Heisuke: Yeah. Really, just where did he go......

(they open the door and leave the room)

Track 4

Harada: Saito...... Oi, Saito...! Wake up, I'm telling you to wake up!

Saito:.......Mm...mrgh... S-Sano?

Harada: Yeah.... oh, wait a sec! It's good that you're awake, but you can't open your eyes yet!...... Well, how should I put this...... you need to be mentally prepared......

Saito:.....? What are you saying? What mental preparations......?

~music tune~

Saito:.......!! Sano!?………………Sano?

Harada: Why is that a question? Without a doubt, it's me, Harada Sanosuke.

Saito: No....... But, the Sano I know, doesn't have that height......

Harada: Don't worry, you've become just like me. Just look down at your own body.

Saito:.....!!  Even my sword is unsteady in these smaller hands, and if I step forward, there's the risk of falling over because this extremely big head..... What the hell happened to my body...!

Harada: I'll say it first, but this isn't a dream. Because I've already my face quite a few times.

Saito:......This lowly/humble body...... let alone moving, won't I be useless to the vice-commander and be unable to contribute to the Shinsengumi!?

Harada: In a sense, I don't think you'll need to worry about that? Take a look/Look, Hijikata-san has also become like/also looks like this.

~music tune~

Hijikata: Ah...... damn it......! My hands and feet [arms and legs] have gotten shorter, and everything else [tl is surroundings/everything in the surrounding] has become incredibly large......!

Saito: E-Even the Vice-Commander.....!? Why do you [also] have this awkward appearance......!!

Hijikata: Saito, you're awake. I just woke up...... Oi, Harada, why on earth have we become/do we look like this!

Harada: Even if you ask me that, I have no idea/I don't know. I was like this when I woke up.

Hijikata: Yeah....... well, since the three of us have all become like this, it's obvious/goes without saying that the pot of tea was strange.

Harada: Yeah. To begin with, it's strange to have tasted Ishida Sanyaku in tea.

Saito:......I see. That is to say that this is all due to Ishida Sanyaku......

Hijikata: No, that's impossible......

Saito: Ishida Sanyaku is a medicine that is meant to be taken with sake, because it was deviously put into tea, this sort of of trouble happened.......

???: Che~ how stupid [tl is more "stupid beyond the point of help/redemption but i can't figure out how to word that]! Devious? It's shameless to even guess/speculate about this [reword later].

Harada:......! That arrogant voice......! Kazama!!?!?

Hiijikata: You bastard! Are you actually here to harass Chizuru again[??? there's an idiom used in this sentence that I don't really get so i omitted it]!? Where the hell are you hiding!?

Kazama: HAH~! Are your eyes just decorations?  I don't run or hide, so are you not able to see who is before your eyes?

~music tune~

Saito: Ha....... so you've also become like this...

Harada: I couldn't help but look up just now ['doubt my eyes'ish or 'look away'.... or something?] . (whispers) Ha.... It turned out be some random passerby.

Kazama: You bastard, sighing after looking at someone else's face, you really know nothing about etiquette!

Hijikata:: After breaking into someone's home, it goes without saying that etiquette will go to the dogs [reword later]! Alright, Saito, Harada! Let's drive this guy out of headquarters!

Saito: Understood (draws sword)

Kazama: Ah~ do you plan on fighting me with that poor body of yours?

Hijikata: Look at yourself, aren't you also the same!?

Harada: Speaking of that guy, why are you even here?.... Don't tell me that it was your plan to make our bodies smaller!?

Kazama: Ha, have you finally noticed it. You idiots/fools with no brains.

Saito: In other words, this is all that guy's fault?! Making all of our bodies smaller, what do you intend on doing?!

Kazama: It has nothing to do with you. I was only looking for my wife.... Yes, only just my wife.... That damn vile medicine!! To actually make turn me into this inferior article!!

Hijikata: Although I don't get why you're so upset, quit rambling, and hurry up and tell us the way to get us back to normal!

Kazama:.......Che.

Saito: You still won't talk. Then violence can be the only answer [reword later. don't like how it reads]...!

Harada: Hold it, Saito!

Saito: Why are you stopping me, Sano! If we don't get the answer out of that guy's mouth, we won't be able to get our bodies back to normal!

Harada: Don't you think it's a bit strange? Kazama was originally the culprit with that medicine, but why is that guy so small now? If he was able to get back to normal, he already would have done that!

Hijikata: Co-Could it be.... you're not going to say that you don't know how to get us back to normal, right!

Kazama:  Did you finally realize it? You idiots with no intelligence!

Harada: Uwah....... I really want to beat him up......

Saito: Vice-Commander, please give me the order to cut that guy down!

Kazama: Che, listen to me! It's not that I don't know how to restore us to our original states. It's just that this method will be extremely difficult to accomplish.

Hijikata:……Difficult [Difficult how]……?

Kazama: It's simple to get back to our original states. The teapot with the medicine in it is still in the kitchen. We just need to drink more of that medicine, the "New and Improved Ishida Sanyaku."

Harada: I feel that I want to complain about the name of that medicine since it's a bit too subtle.... But will that really work?!

Kazama: Of course. As I possess the noble bloodline of the oni, it's impossible for me to lie.

Hijikata: For the time being, we'll believe what you say. For the time being, we'll believe what you say. You said it'd be difficult, but shouldn't being able to get into the kitchen smoothly, be the only problem? 

Saito: Indeed. Just from the drop to the ground, which looks as high a wall, you can definitely infer how difficult it will be to get to the kitchen...

Kazama: That's right. As a dog who can only wag his head and wag his tail, that ability to understand is really good.

Harada: How is it that I feel angry whenever I hear you say something nasty [reword later].... Well, since we're like this, if we have more people, we'll be able to solve this problem sooner.

Hijikata: Speaking of which...... if someone would pass by/if someone just passed by......

(voices heard in distance)

Souji: Eh~ really, I don't always want to be doing this every time~

Heisuke: Don't say that. Hijikata-san should be back at his room now, right?

Hijikata: Those voices just now...... are Souji and Heisuke's?

Saito: Souji! Heisuke! Come here......! Mmph......! (mouth gets covered by Harada)

Harada: Don't be impulsive, Saito!!

Saito (weakly) What are you doing......!

Harada: I'm telling you/Listen [to me], just think about it! Even if Heisuke helps, the other person there is Souji!

Hijikata: If that guy finds out that we're tiny/this small, who knows how he would react!

Saito: (gasps and moves Harada's hand away) Ha...... Indeed, he'd treat us like toys and handle us as if we were straw...... just imagining that gives me the chills [reword later]......

Kazama: Che, as expected of a pack of dogs made up of rogues and villains. It's amazing that how you don't even have confidence/trust in your own companions.

Hijikata: Shut up! Under these circumstances...! Perhaps Souji is the only exception!

Harada: In the first place, what should we be doing, Hijikata-san? We have to do something, so should we just tell Heisuke about what happened?

Hijikata: Uh………… No, let's pretend to be dolls for a while. After, we can wait for Yamazaki or maybe Gen-san....... ah, there's still Chizuru, [but] we should wait for someone reasonable to pass by.

Kazama: What are you saying? You're actually telling me to pretend to be a doll [reword later]!?

Hijikata; Shut up and just do as I say! Even if it's you, if you can't get back to normal, won't you have a lot of problems!

Kazama: Che. There's nothing to be done/that can be done about it then.

Harada: Heisuke's coming! Everyone stop talking!

(door slides open)

Heisuke: Hijikata-san~!  Hah!? Still not here......

Okita: That's strange. I just heard a very quiet voice just now, so I thought Hajime-kun was here. (looks around) Anyhow, why have these dolls that were placed here, so scattered around [reword later/thesaurus]? Furthermore, this/And this strange doll with blond hair, I don't remember seeing it earlier.  

Toudou: What is this, a doll of Kazama? There's even one of one of Sano-san, but why isn't there one of these odd dolls of you or me, Souji?

(Heisuke pokes Kazama's head)

Kazama: You bastard......! The only one in the world who is allowed to touch me, is my wife...!

Harada: Come on, don't talk, just be patient!

Souji: These two figures look very much like Hijikata-san and Hajime-kun... Come look at them, they look pretty funny/interesting~

(Souji pokes Hijikata's head)

Hijikata:………………！！！！

Saito:…………！

Okita: Nn? I seemed to have heard something strange?

Harada: Well since these are Hijikata-san's things, if you play around too much with them, he'll get super angry~

Souji: That's right. But, if we just leave them here like this, isn't it likely for that cat to play around with them [reword later]?

Heisuke: It's as you say though since they were already left in a mess, maybe that cat messed them up [reword later].

Souji: In that case, why don't we just put them all into a box? They can be also put into a closet where the cat won't be able to reach them.

Saito: ………………What!?

Harada: If that happens, won't we be unable to move!?

Hijikata: This bastard/guy, he just had to come up with such a rotten idea right now!

Heisuke: Let's hold onto them for the time being then. Anyway, we still need to come back later and give give the report for our patrol. At the time, we can return these to Hijikata-san.

Souji: You're not thinking about taking these back to your room to prank them because you're upset about the faces of these dolls, right [i think? reword later]?

Heisuke: This idea of yours won't be any good/You're the only one who would come up with such a bad idea... well, then I'll take the Sano-san and Kazama dolls for to hold onto for safekeeping.

Kazama: Kuh......! Things are getting more and more complicated...

--To be continued...?---

[seijurosempress]

@shoichee​ I hope this meets your expectations✨ (Bc I refuse to tolerate any more bullying today. Also- Matchup under the cut)

First, I just want to say- I’m sorry. (but not really). I know our love for Hayama runs deep but the moment you choose violence with him, that’s it for you. RIP. It was nice knowing you 😔 But, remember when we first spoke and I asked you if you shipped yourself with Imayoshi and you refused to answer my question? Well- [Insert ‘Surprise shawty’ tik tok audio]

Best Match: Imayoshi Shoichi

Your subconscious knew what it was doing when you picked out your URL. The moment you said you related to Dazai and then proceeded to talk about socioeconomic issues revolving around globalization while we simultaneously talked about dumb stuff I knew there were only a few guys that could handle your energy and Imayoshi hands down tops that list

Even though Hanamiya out of all people might say Imayoshi doesn’t have the best personality, I actually think you two can balance each other out and understand each other in a way other people may not be able to

Honestly, right off the bat, y’all will probably bond over some form of teasing. Whether it’s making some remark aimed directly at the other, or one of you takes a jab at someone else and the other happens to overhear, it will be the start of a beautiful relationship

Gemini and Leo’s have really good chemistry so it’s no surprise you’ll manage to get along, regardless of your- argumentative natures.

You two are like the two sides of the same coin. While he presents himself as a kind and easy going person, speaking politely to others- until he inevitable shows them his real personality- you, on the other hand, can come off a little cold and critical, scaring people off when you first meet them even though you’re genuinely kind and easy going once you start to talk to them

If you guys meet purely by chance, maybe you’re in the same class, you’re introduced because of a mutual friend, or because one of you overheard the other, the moment you hear how the other carries themselves in a conversation will automatically peek your interest. 

Have you ever seen that meme where they’re like “oh you wanna kiss me so bad”? yea, that’s you two. I can see you getting into the most amusing squabble, just trying to throw the other one off, Imayoshi smirking if and when one of his comments goes right over your head

You’re both pretty smart (I spent a solid hour trying to double check this and still failed but I’m like 80% sure his IQ is pretty up there) so I can see you two meeting because of that too

Scenario: 

Imayoshi is just minding his business, checking the updated class rankings posted in the hall across your classroom. Why? He doesn’t know, if he’s being honest. It’s not like anyone could ever surpass him, he’s been at the top of his class each time since his firs- What’s this? He got bumped down? Who the hell are you? Wait no, he knows who you are. He’s heard your name before countless times, mostly followed by your voice as it traveled throughout the hallways, your laugh bubbling out of your small frame soon after in reply to whichever friend had just made a funny remark. Funny. You didn’t seem all that smart at first glance, could he have actually... made a mistake? His gaze flickers to the other side of the hall where he immediately found you, eyes wide and a small smile adorning your features as you listened to your classmate speak. A low hum escapes him as he analyzes your appearance once more. He notices the way your makeup highlighted your already attractive features, the small accessories added to your uniform making you look put together and stylish. Maybe he had underestimated you, he though as he saw you take your turn to speak, your answer leaving your classmate open mouthed with a baffled expression. He felt the slight tug on his lips, the beginning of a small smirk forming on his face as you smiled widely at the response you had gotten.  However, the amusement only lasted a split second, his features falling in disbelief when you turned around, tripping over your own feet and falling face first into the open classroom door. “What are you staring at?” Someone, probably Sato, asks as he strolls up beside him. “Nothing” he sighs, adjusting his glasses on his face. Is it really nothing though? a small voice inside him asks just as a series of curse words and noises fall from your lips, eliciting his own to quirk up into an amused, lopsided smile. Even if it is “nothing” for now, don’t be surprised when both of you “coincidentally” find yourselves bumping into each other more often from now on as he tries to figure you out.

I can see him realizing he has feelings for you while you two are hanging out. Maybe you two will be studying after you asked him to tutor you in math since it’s his best subject, or well, attempting to study at least as you’re nearing half an hour of your 5 minute snack break. He’ll probably be doodling in his notebook while you scroll through Instagram, and it’s not until he looks up to see you so focused on whatever was on the other side of the screen, your fingers quickly tapping away as a smile pulled at your lips that he asks what you’re doing. Without a second thought, you absentmindedly tell him about whatever argument you’re getting into in the comments section under a random photo you came across before you’re back to focusing on the matter at hand. 

His whole trademark is that he’s good at analyzing people, and as a Gemini, he is not an exception to his own skills. He’ll suddenly come to the realization that, while he enjoys pushing people’s buttons, he enjoys the thought of you two being a team even more. While you can be loud and social, making and laughing at jokes, you also know when to get serious and get stuff done, something that that he would appreciate considering he likes respectful and considerate girls.

The problem now is- he may be aware of his feelings...but are you?

He’ll probably try out multiple ways to hint at his feelings towards you but they’ll just go right over your head. In your mind, you can’t see anyone having any romantic feelings towards you and sure he may be acting a little weird, but you’d probably just shrug it off as it being all in your imagination.

Meanwhile the whole time Imayoshi is just standing there like- Is she serious? No one can be this oblivious???? but yet  ✨here you are✨

Now it’s his turn to be frustrated by your conversations because you’re just not getting it? So he decides to try something more straight forward. Girls like pickup lines, right?

He could literally see the moment your brain stopped working. Your face flushed red as a nervous giggle bubbled out of you. All common sense left your body as you made finger guns at him, giving him a slight nod before turning around and walking quickly out the room

it would take you a few minutes to collect yourself, strolling back in the room 30 minutes later, leaning against the same spot you left him moments prior and giving him a pickup line of your own. *queue Imayoshi’s mischievous smirk* “Oh? Is that so?” (he’s such a little shit he’ll probably pretend like he didn’t say anything first to get back at you)

I can see this going back and forth for a while until he finally asks you out on a date, but this time he’ll make sure to do it in a way that will prevent you from escaping and leaving him alone and confused again

Your PDA is most likely kept to a minimum, partly because of your Venus in Virgo and partly because he doesn’t like spontaneity. Your outward relationship will consist of hand holding and pecks but that doesn’t mean your private life remains the same, just because you’re dating now doesn’t mean you’re suddenly immune to his habits or him to yours

You say you want to spend some quality time together? “How about a movie night?” he asks, his smile deceiving you long enough to trap you in his arms as a scary movie plays in his blacked out bedroom. “I don’t like scary movies” you whine, your body pressing into his and a pout pulling at your lips as he “innocently” chuckles, “Oh really? I must have forgotten”

You say you’re a bit cynical about relationships but I think it’s because your Neptune, Pluto and Lilith are ruled by air signs. This means you enjoy spontaneity and creativity in what you do and therefore always gravitate to doing things in which your outcome depends on yourself and not other people. Imayoshi is the kind of person that respects other people’s needs as we can see when he allows Aomine to skip practice if that’s what works for him. This will help you maintain a healthy balance in your relationship, allowing you to be able to feel more at ease and not trapped or like you have to be a certain way with one another

You decide to keep pursuing dancing? He’s proud of you, and will not hesitate to show off and boast about your achievements to the rest of the team

You had a rough week and you want to spend the whole day gaming with headphones on? It’s fine he’ll take the opportunity to relax and go fishing

On the other hand, you want to go shopping? Suddenly he’ll find himself walking hand in hand with you as you and his sister stop at every single store only to leave with more bags that you can carry. 

At first, you would insist you could both take care of yourselves at the mall, but he soon found out that you two should not be left alone. She might be his sister but she’s younger and impressionable and she looks up to you? And you can be a bit scatterbrained so you lose track of her time so you always end up bringing her back really late, along with an armful of shopping bags that he’ll only have to go back and return within the week because being hasty runs in his family and his sister didn’t pay much attention to how much money she was spending

Overall- I think that what really makes you a good match is your ability to communicate with one another. Both of you are pretty honest and straightforward (although your executions are vastly different) which will help you navigate through any obstacles in your relationship

You keep each other on your toes and bring fun into your relationship while also settling down, talking about serious stuff and getting genuine advice from one another when you need it the most. The balance you maintain allowing a stable foundation for the relationship to grow and blossom. He did something hasty? It’s okay, you know exactly what to do to fix it. Someone keeps hitting on you insistently? He’s already walked over to intimidate him to go away. You want to spend quality time together but he wants to go fishing? There you are by his side, scribbling in your notebook and reciting your poetry to him as he listens carefully with a small smile on his face that you’ll definitely not tease him about later. You need help with your math again? he’ll tutor you in exchange for you making him a bento with his favorite meal. Until he learns that you somehow burned half the rice and left the other half uncooked. Perfect balance of give and take. 

Bonus: Takao Kazunari

You are literally the girl version of Takao omg. (I literally JUST got your message about being the new Takao too smh I know I’m slow but let me finish this first)

You two are so alike and you would make the most chaotic duo but as much as I want to ship you two, I can just see you two being really good friends so I feel the need to include him in this

Midorima would be so done with your shit, he’d probably see you two together and immediately turn around and start walking the other way because he just KNOWS you’re bound to gang up and bully him

The first time you saw is lucky item you probably burst out laughing and thought he was joking until you saw his face flush red

After that, every time you ask about it he just grumbles out his answer, still salty about your initial reaction

Takao never fails to remind you either, trying to hold back his laugh whenever you try to make it up to Midorima but he ends up ignoring you, or you somehow just manage to make it worse

When it’s just you and Takao, you could be minding your business when suddenly one of you makes ONE singular little comment and that just sets off the other, adding onto it until both of you are crying with laughter

Honestly, the only time I can see you taking one another seriously is when you’re having discourse

He’s an optimistic person while you’re a realist which can set off some very interesting discussions between the two of you, your argumentative nature leading both of you to talk about anything and everything as you challenge the other’s ideologies

If you decide to try out a relationship, it’ll be filled with excitement and adrenaline, both of you needing very little persuasion to try out new things

You’ll be his partner in crime and he’ll be yours. You want to mess a bit with your younger neighbors? Why not? You want to go check out the new mall a few town’s over because they have a store you’ve been wanting to check out for months? He’s your man.

While the relationship is fun, you both can get a little ahead of yourselves, going with the flow and getting sucked into your own world; you’ll need someone to ground you

Usually, this role can be plaid by Midorima but it proves to be a bit problematic when he’s nowhere in sight

The amount of times you two have lost track of time or gotten caught up in something because you ran into some friends or even met new people and got lost in conversation, by this point Midorima has probably given up trying to keep track of your whereabouts when you’re together

I wouldn’t be surprised if you two ended up making your own language. He’s good with kids and bad at being quiet while you enjoy making new words and trying out sound effects which he would without a doubt find amusing. You’d probably go as far as to make children believe they’re actual words, could you imagine Midorima’s face when he goes over to Takao’s house and his younger sister starts talking to him in the made up words you taught her

Ultimately while your personalities are very alike, you tend to clash at the wrong points and it would take you working together to compromise to make a romantic relationship work

Both of you surround yourself by others, often finding yourself in the middle of everything, your personality constantly making other people gravitate towards you. This can prove conflicting when you’re together as now you’d have to learn how to share the spotlight, so to say

While you love fashion and makeup and shopping, the poor man just wants to enjoy his trading cards

Although you should use it to your advantage and make him drive you around in Princess Mia’s Midorima’s carriage.

Your might also find yourself more often than not at a crossroads, your realist point of view conflicting with his positivity which can lead to arguments between you two

Overall- a relationship with you would be exciting. There would never be a dull moment and you’d constantly encourage the other to have new experiences and make the most of your time. But moving into a more romantic territory would mean that you’d have to learn how to prioritize things in your life, knowing when to buckle down and get things down and how to successfully come to terms with and work out your differences. 

Sidenote: I meant to make these a little longer but my brain cell only has so much KNB knowledge stored in her small little filing cabinet that may or may not be a single folder covered in dust and stuffed in some corner

[crystalwillow]

Truly. Madly. Deeply. - Ethan x F!MC

Tagging a few people in this one: @vibrantlyjaz @tsrookie @schnitzelbutterfingers @queencarb @mrsvanderlinde  

As the sun rose the next morning after they returned back to Boston, Ethan awoke as the sun streamed through the skylight above his bed, he smiled at Casey as he registered her sleeping peacefully next to him. Looking at the time on the clock he let out a small sigh. It was time to leave the blissfulness he had been feeling for the past two weeks, and go back to the chaotic world of Edenbrook. Gently he rubbed Casey's arm stirring her awake a little. "Cassie? We need to get up and ready to go back to work now." he whispered tenderly and was met with a tired groan in response to which he chuckled. "I know. I feel that way too. You've made me feel happier and open up more than I have with or to anyone in the past two weeks. I kind of hate you for reminding me what true happiness feels like. But the reasons I love you outweigh that one so..." he mumbled and kissed behind her ear softly. "Ethan..." she murmured, reaching for his hair and tangling her fingers in it gently. "Come on. Let's grab a shower." he smiled as he got up, pulling a sleepy Casey with him.

"You're going to have to open your eyes at some point in the next 5 minutes."

"No. Ethan's a comfy pillow. I'm tired."

"Casey.." he chuckled as he washed her body

"Shhhhhhhhh"

Shaking his head with a smile, he somehow managed to wash Casey's hair and himself before stepping out and wrapping towels around both of them. By the time Casey had woken up properly, Ethan was dressed in his usual formal wear for the hospital, but there was something different about him. Casey looked at his side profile as he riffled through his wardrobe looking for something. "I do believe you accidently left- ah! Here it is." he beamed as he turned back to Casey, his favourite knee length blue dress of her's in hand. "What?" he asked at the quizzical look on Casey's face as she studied him curiously. That's when it clicked. It wasn't his clothes, hair or anything like that which was different. He was smiling a genuine smile. His trademark scowl had gone, along with the wrinkles that normally accompanied the look. "I love you." Casey grinned happily, "I love you too. Now hurry up and get dressed or you'll be late." Ethan said as he gave her a quick kiss before heading to the kitchen. When he came back, he left some toast and orange juice on the dresser for her, explaining that he was going to leave now as so to avoid any suspicion that would arise from arriving with Casey by his side.

"... So I'll leave you to lock up the front door yeah?"

"Yeah sure. ... Ethan?"

"Cinnamon roll."

"When are you picking Jenner up from the kennels?"

"Why?"

"Because your apartment feels empty without him."

"... Yeah... it does. I was hoping to get him after my shift tomorrow. I finish just after lunch."

"But that means you're working all morning today. Having a late nap in the on-call room and working all night."

"You know me and my work ethic too well. It's scary sometimes. ... Did you not want to meet me there? We could get him together. I'm sure he's missed you more than me anyway. You seem to have a knack of getting guys to stare at you and love you more than others."

"Honey... are you.. jealous of .. your dog?"

".. ha! When you put it like that it does sound ridiculous."

"Ethan Ramsey, I cannot believe you're jealous that your dog likes my cuddles."

"Well he used to love mine.. but you stole him from me."

Casey looked up from the mirror as she smoothed out the creases in her dress and laughed at the pout on Ethan's face. Walking over to him, she wrapped her arms round his neck, tilting his head so that she could see him properly. He smiled at her lovingly before giving her a quick kiss. "I guess I should get going before I'm the one who's late." he chuckled and gave Casey a few more pecks before he left out the door. "Oh! ETHAN!" Casey called out, opening the door and sticking her head out in the hallway, catching him at the end, just about to turn the corner. Damn this man and his giraffe legs. "Can I put my stuff in here from the car and pick it up later?" she called out, "Yeah sure!" he replied and with a wave he was gone. After moving the bags from her car into Ethan's apartment, Casey made sure she had the spare key she had been given and left, making sure to lock the door behind her. She drove most of the way to work, parking a couple blocks away and walking the rest of the distance. When she arrived, she stepped through the doors into the main atrium taking a deep inhale as a smile grew on her face. "Man it's good to be back." she said with a smile as she walked to her locker and started with her day. She crossed paths with Ethan a couple of times in halls, giving him a smile which he returned. Soon she stopped seeing him a knew he had gone to catch some sleep, and had clocked out before he woke up. She had just finished unpacking her bags in her room when her phone chimed with a text notification.

- 10:43PM –

Ethan: Didn't wanna stick around and say goodbye to me?

Casey: You were sleeping

Ethan: So? I wanted to see you before you left.

Casey: stop your pouting, E

Ethan: I didn't even..

Casey: I make it a habit to know my boyfriend inside out

Ethan: is that so... 😉

Casey: Get your mind outta the gutter Ethan xD

You have work to do. Which you should probably get back to, by the way..

Ethan: Yes ma'am.

Casey: God you're whipped..

Ethan: I'm what?

Chuckling to herself, she shook her head a little placing her phone on charge before going to the kitchen and fixing herself some food before heading to bed. The next day she spent her morning reading some old revision cards to keep her mind sharp on medical knowledge and before she knew it was leaving out the door and heading to work. She was halfway through her shift when her phone dinged in the back pocket of her jeans as she was talking with a patient. Once she was done, she stepped out into the hallway, taking her phone out and unlocking it as she closed the door behind her. She chuckled at the message Ethan had sent her, then aww'd at the next message that popped up. It was a picture of Jenner in his bed, looking sadly at the camera. She sent a quick reply and then pocketed her phone returning back to work.

Things slowly started to feel normal again as she got back into the fast pace things moved around the hospital with ease, and soon almost three months had passed since she got back from her parents house with Ethan. She hadn't seen him in a couple of days but that was normal, he was a busy in-demand man after all. One day she was standing in a small queue in the cafeteria when Dr. Harper Emery approached her. Concealing the eye roll she wanted to do so badly, she put on a professional smile as the woman stood in front of her.

"Dr. Valentine."

"Dr. Emery."

"I have a question for you."

""Uhh. Okay?"

"You're friends with Dr. Ramsey yes?"

"We have a friendship, yes."

"I see. So you'd have his personal phone number?"

"What's it to you?"

"Do you have his personal phone number? Yes or no, Dr. Valentine."

"I don't see why I should tell you, quite frankly. Not after the stunts you've been pulling trying to ruin the friendship we have."

"Look. He hasn't shown up for work in two weeks and he isn't answering his house phone or his work number. We've tried almost every phone in the hospital, which numbers he may pick up but nothing. You're our last hope to knowing where he is and why he isn't at work."

".... Okay, fine. Yes, I have his personal number. I'll give him a call and see where he is."

"Thank you, Dr. Valentine. Find me later to report on his status."

"Yeah. Fine."

Casey sighed and moved forwards in the line, frowning a little as harper stalked off, heels clicking on the tiled floor. She purchased her snack and a bottle of water, making her way outside and pulling her phone out as she sat on a wall. Unlocking her phone she dialed Ethan's number straight away and waited anxiously as it rang.

".... You've reached the voicemail of Ethan Ramsey. Sorry I cannot take your call right now. Leave a message after the tone."

Sighing she hung up and tried again. But every time she tried she always ended up getting his voicemail. Sighing and with a sudden loss in her appetite, she pocketed her phone before scooping up her cookie and bottle of water. Heading back inside to finish her shift. As the end of her shift drew closer and closer, she made a mental note to stop by Ethan's and check on him. She may not like Harper, but she had to agree that this wasn't like Ethan at all. He always informed the hospital if he was going to be late or off sick. Anything, he always picked up the phone and called the people who needed to know. As she was getting ready to head off, one of the nurses approached her. "Dr. Valentine! I'm so glad I found you." she said breathlessly, "What's wrong? Has my patient gone into cardiac arrest again?!" Casey panicked, but the nurse shook her head. "I was wondering if you could cover the last hour of my shift? I just got a call from my neighbor that my house has been broke into and the police need me there ASAP." she explained. Casey swallowed, she needed to check on Ethan, but this was important too. Smiling she turned to the nurse. "Of course. You head on home. I hope everything's okay. Let me know if you need anything." she responded, and the nurse thanked her before running off. The hour passed by slowly as Casey watched the clock on the wall opposite the nurses station. Soon the nurse that was to take over arrived and Casey clocked out. She headed outside on the phone, calling for a cab. Arriving at Ethan's apartment building a few moments later, she paid her fare and scrambled inside as fast as she could. She reached Ethan's door and knocked first, waiting for the door to open but 2 minutes quickly turned into 10. Which soon turned into almost an hour. Having enough, Casey took the spare key to his apartment from her bag and slowly opened the door, walking in to a mess of takeout cartons and bottles covering the floor. "E-Ethan?" she called out hesitantly, walking further into the apartment. "Honey? Are you... Home." Her voice trailed off as she entered the kitchen and saw Ethan slumped in a chair, head on the counter with his eyes closed. A glass of whiskey next to his hand. She quietly moved the glass and sat next to him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Ethan.. Sweetie. What're you doing sleeping here in the kitchen? ... E?" she said softly as she continued trying to wake him and when he awoke, he startled at her presence. "W-what are you d-doing here? How.. How did you get in?" He exclaimed leaping up and away from her. She frowned at him. Something was definitely off here.

"Ethan it's okay. I'm here to make sure you're okay. Like all good girlfriends do."

"G-girlf-friend?"

"Yeah. We've been dating for almost 3 and a half months now. ...Ethan? Are.. Are you okay?"

She watched him cautiously as he looked at her, panic rising in his eyes and becoming more intense by the minute, until he eventually started shaking his head causing Casey to frown.

"Baby, what's wrong? You can talk to me."

"Y-You.. You're going to hate me. I-I can't lose you Casey. Please!"

The pleading in his voice and desperation that was now mixed in with the panic in his eyes pulled at her heart. He was in so much distress and what was he on about she was going to hate him. Knowing she had to calm him down, she stood up from her seat and slowly moved towards him.

"Honey.. I know you're scared right now but take deep breaths for me okay? I'm not going to hate you. I never could. ... We've talked about this remember? We'll support each other through everything. Regardless of whether or not we're together. ..Do you trust me?"

She stopped a few inches in front of him, looking up into his eyes with nothing but kindness and the want to care for him. Finally he rushed into her arms, hugging her tight as he sobbed into the shoulder of her jacket. She hugged him back trying to slowly the violent shakes of his body that accompanied the sobs leaving his mouth. But it was no use, this man was a wreck, the only thing she didn't know though was why?

Moving with Ethan to his couch, she sat down with him handing him a tissue from the box on the coffee table. Together they cuddled and Casey held him until he had exhausted his tears, and his throat was raw. When he looked up at her, she felt a sharp pang in her chest at the red circles round his eyes and the sadness that was in them. She wanted so badly to ask what was wrong but decided it was better to let him speak when he was ready. Remembering the unopened bottle of water in her bag, she took it out and gave it to him. "Here. Drink this." she said softly, "Th-Thank y-you." He hiccupped, sitting up as he took it, opening it to take a gulp before laying down in Casey's lap. A few more moments of silence passed as Ethan sniffled and coughed a few times. Then he turned on his back and looked up at Casey, swallowing hard.

"Are you okay?"

"No. I won't be for a while."

"Why?! Baby, what's happened? I've never seen you this upset before."

"I- It's Jenner.."

"What about him?"

"He's gone Casey... All because I was careless, and almost tripped over a plant pot, so I got distracted. ... Casey he got off his leash and ran into the road. I had to pay for him to be put down. He-He's gone."

Casey went numb at his words, but it wasn't Jenner being gone that got to her. He was blaming himself. She hugged him again as he sat more upright and whispered that things would be okay again soon. Ethan looked at her with a frown.

"Why aren't you shouting? You weren't there to say goodbye to him with me. You should be mad. Casey why aren't you mad?"

"Ethan. Why would I be mad at you? You were obviously in a state of shock after everything that happened. Plus, being mad would solve nothing, it would only hurt you more and I don't want to hurt you darling. I want to support you and make you smile, even if you don't want to. I love you Ethan and that's never going to change. I don't want you to be alone through anything. Especially something like this. You've lost your best friend that you'd known how long?"

"Almost 15 years. It would have been 15 years on September 4th."

"September 4th?"

"Yeah. I remember picking him up from the rescue shelter as just a little clumsy puppy. His ears flopped about like curtains in a strong breeze and he had the cutest of smiles on his face. When I held him for the first time after getting home he done nothing but lick my face and hit away anything that took my attention from him. Loose papers with medical notes on them were shredded to bits if I left the room for even 2 seconds. He was so adventurous, I done a lot of exploring with him in those days. But as he got older, he became more and more like me."

"What? Permanently scowling and calling any new dog a rookie even when they helped him save a woman's life on their first day at work?"

"I didn't know you then. You were just another annoying face in the crowd."

"Another ann- ETHAN!"

"What?! You were annoying. But only because I could see you had the potential to match my skills or be even better than me and I felt threatened."

"... Wow. Ethan Ramsey was threatened by a first day resident? That's got to be a first."

They chuckled quietly. The air almost felt lighter for a brief moment before their faces fell serious again.

"You know. September 4th is tomorrow. We should do something together in Jenner's honor. He wouldn't want his dad to be moping around the house, with takeout containers littering the floor, ignoring his work and what he's vouched to do for others. He'd want you to drag your butt to the shower, put on your best 'what seems to be the problem today?' face and continue to make good memories that you can share when you see him again."

"Casey..."

There was still pain in Ethan's eyes as he spoke and the strain in his voice killed her inside, but deep down he knew she was right. Jenner wouldn't want him in the current state he was in. Every day when he saw a speeding car the images of that day would come back to him somehow, but he couldn't let that stop him from his work.

"By the way, Ethan."

"Yeah?"

"You should probably go and get that shower. You stink."

"Is that so huh? Cinnamon bun. Is that so?"

The two laughed and wrestled with each other as Ethan tried to shove his armpit in Casey's face. The carried on playfighting for a while before Ethan headed to the shower and Casey grabbed a black bag, picking up his rubbish and cleaning his living room up. She was almost done when she reached Jenner's bed. With a sad smile and tears stinging her eyes, she crouched down and made it up just how he always had it, placing it by the sliding door. "He always was a sucker for looking out at beautiful views." Ethan said as he lent against the doorframe between his bedroom and the living room. Casey turned around and looked at him. "Oh. Uh I hope you don't mind that I..." she said gesturing to the dog bed and Ethan just shook his head with a small smile in his lips. "No. it's fine. I wasn't able to bring myself to do it because it was too... painful." he grimaced as he crossed the room to the couch, taking a seat and patting the spot next to him. Casey smiled and sat next to him.

"Why don't you come and stay with me for a few days?"

"I couldn't. You already live with 4 other people."

"So? Ethan.. You need to be around people who care for you right now. Not festering in here alone."

"But Casey..."

"No buts. You're coming with me okay? We all care for you. Yes, Jackie and Aurora have emotions too. Don't look so surprised."

"There's no getting out of this, is there?"

"Look at you. Putting those smarts to good use."

"And what do you put to good use?"

"My ass. I hustle 24/7 baby."

They looked at each other before bursting out in laughter, falling on top of each other. As the laughter died down, Ethan looked up at Casey hovering over him and swallowed.

"How are you so beautiful?"

"The same way I got lucky with you."

"Casey..."

"Ethan..."

They were about to kiss when Casey's phone rang, completely ruining the mood. With a sigh she sat up and dug through her bag, picking out her phone and answering it.

"Hel- Oh it's you. Hello Harper. Yes I called him. No he didn't answer. ... I'm debating on whether to cook a beef steak or a chicken steak for dinner. Why would I have a- You what?! That's stalking! I can have you done for that! I don't care if you're at home now! No Harper. You can- WE'RE FRIENDS. I'm outside his apartment door. I've been here for hours now. Well, one of his neighbor's let me use their bathroom. I'm a human with bodily fluids that need to be released you know. Because he isn't answering his door. You know I'm going to the police. I'm not comfortable with your actions. I'm going to the police and then I'm taking this to the board. You may give up on your friends Dr. Emery, but I don't. No. You don't get to dicta-" Casey shouted into her phone and then looked at it in disbelief as the line went dead. "That... That BITCH!" she shouted, throwing her phone back in her bag. "Hey. What happened? What did she want?" Ethan asked as he gently took Casey's hands in his own larger ones. "She fucking followed me here! Waited outside for 55 minutes then followed me up. I hope you have a nice neighbor who would be happy to cover for me because I wasn't out there when she passed, I just lied to her. I swear. It's like she doesn't want you to be happy!" she rambled on furiously and Ethan's eyes softened at her worry for him. "Look why don't I go and pack a bag, you call a for taxi and we'll go back to yours. You're right that I need to get out of here for a couple of days." he smiled softly, and Casey nodded with a small okay. After giving her a kiss on the forehead he went back to his room, and sorted out his things for the next few days, packing anything he would need into a backpack before joining Casey in the living room.

"Hey, Cassie. Are you okay? You're doing that thing where you chew your lip again."

"Hm? Oh. Yeah. I'm fine. The taxi's on it's way. We should go wait outside."

"After you."

Together they made their way outside and they waited for the taxi to pull up. When they arrived at Casey's Elijah and Aurora occupied the couches and gave the two puzzled looks as Casey turned round from closing the door. "Uh Casey?" Elijah asked, gesturing between her and Ethan. "You go head to my room. I'll catch them up to speed okay babe?" she said to Ethan as she pushed herself onto her tiptoes, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. Ethan return her kiss and then Casey joined her friends as Ethan went to her room.

"So. Um.. You both know Ethan's been missing from work for a couple of weeks right?..." Casey started and told them everything that happened, Aurora scowling when Casey mentioned what her aunt had done, with regards to following Casey to Ethan's apartment. "That sounds exactly like something she would do." Aurora commented with disgust but her facial expression softened when Ethan came back into the room. He looked around awkwardly as if not knowing where to sit. Casey patted the space between herself and Aurora and he took a seat, cuddling close to Casey, and Elijah smiled at him in his usual friendly manner.

"You're welcome to stay as long as you need Dr. Ramsey."

"Thank you doctor..."

"Greene."

"Right. Dr. Greene. Thank you."

The two men nodded at each other curtly before Ethan settled back on the couch with Casey, Aurora and Elijah made their way to their room a few minutes later leaving the two others to cuddle on the couch before heading to bed.

The next morning Casey woke up before Ethan who was kicking his legs, whimpering in pain next to her. She was about to cuddle him when he suddenly bolted upright. "Jenner! NO!" he shouted, breathing and sweating heavily with tears streaming down his face. Next to him Casey pulling him to her chest, kissing his temple gently and rubbing his back. "Hey. Shhhhh, it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. I'm here okay?" Casey cooed softly to calm him down whilst stroking his hair. She smiled to herself at how cute it was that this had always calmed him down. She remembers him telling her a story from his early teen years, where his father stroked his hair until he fell asleep because he was stressed over a test. Then she giggled to herself as she looked down at him, knowing it was something he'd never grow too old for or tired of.

"What's got you giggling?"

"It's just.. I find it cute that at 37 this still calms you."

"Well it is soothing."

They mumbled between each other until it was time for Casey to get up. After she had showered and gotten ready for work, she waited for Ethan in the kitchen with Sienna, Elijah and Jackie, cooking breakfast for them to scoff down before having to run out of the door. When Ethan came through, everyone gave him a weird stare.

"What are you all looking at me like that for?"

"Uh D-Dr. Ramsey your uhhh..." Jackie stammered

"Well um..." Elijah trailed off going back to his food

"Honey... are you feeling okay?" Casey said as she got up and walked over to him.

"I'm feeling as good as I can be."

"Okay well um.. I'm just going to go ahead and tell you that.."

She swallowed the leftover pieces of food in her mouth as she gestured for him to lean down and she whispered into his ear, "Your bottom half is naked."

Ethan looked down and his eyes widened in horror.

"Dr. Greene, Dr. Trinh, Dr. Varma. I am so sorry. I ah..." he apologized blushing profusely

"It's okay babe. Just go finish getting ready yeah?"

"Y-Yes. Of course."

Ethan covered himself with his hand and quickly returned to Casey's room to finish getting dressed. Later they were all at work when Casey pager beeped as she worked next to Ethan and Baz trying to solve a case. Peering at her pager, she rolled her eyes and groaned a little at the message. "Dr. Valentine?" Ethan said colder than intended as he looked at her from his desk. "Sorry. I've got to go. I've been summoned by the deeeeeelightful former chief of medicine, Dr. Emery." she smiled as Baz looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "What did you say delightful like that for?" Baz asked. "Long story." Casey and Ethan said together. "Ookay then.." Baz commented and then got back to work with his research as Casey left the room. When she reached Harper's office, she knocked on the door and was invited in.

"What do you want?"

"I think you know what I want. Casey."

"Actually. You're right. I do. And it. is. not. happening."

"Oh Casey. You're mistaken. It will happen. Or I'll put your whole relationship on blast."

Casey swallowed harshly as she looked at the photo Harper slapped on the desk in front of her. For a brief moment in time she felt like she'd lost control but then she hardened her resolve and looked Harper coldly in the eyes.

"It won't. Ethan is a friend and a colleague. And like I said to you yesterday. I DON'T. GIVE UP. ON MY... FRIENDS."

And with that Casey stomped out of Harper's office back to the diagnostics room, gathered her stuff and stomped down to the cafeteria to be alone in her corner and continue her research. Ethan frowning at her in confusion as she left the room. Later that down Casey was lounging on the couch at home when there was a knock on the door, with an annoyed groan she got up and answered it to find Ethan standing there.

"Oh hi. I forgot you didn't have a key. Sorry. I should've waited for you."

"No it's okay. I've been dealing with a PITA."

"Lucky you!"

They shared a chuckle at Casey's sarcastic tone as they sat down on the couches. Well Casey laying back on the one she got up from and Ethan occupying the other. He watched her carefully and noticed the way her brows were pulled together in annoyance and anger but then he noted the sadness and pain in her eyes.

"What's up, my little cinnamon bun?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"Casey."

"I'm fine Ethan really. You should go change. I promised we'd do something for Jenner today, so let's head out before it gets too late to do anything."

"If you insist..."

Ethan got up with a sigh and made his way to Casey's room to change before returning to the living room and sitting back in his previous spot.

"ready?"

"I am."

"Then let's go."

Casey got up and put her sunglasses on before grabbing her keys and opening the door, but Ethan didn't move.

"Well let's move then, Ethan."

"Something's happe-"

"NOTHING. Has happened. Can we please just... go, before I change my mind."

With a sigh Ethan got up and walked outside, Casey following him, shutting and locking the door behind him. He went to hold her hand, but she stuffed the in her jeans pockets and walked ahead of him, taking a left and descending the and out main door of the apartment block. He felt hurt at her actions but tried to conceal it as he knew something must have happened at the hospital. She wasn't usually ever this cold with him. She'd always been warm and welcoming. Casey stopped a taxi and got in the front, leaving Ethan to sit by himself in the back as they went to their destination. When they got there, a small smile tugged at Ethan's lips as he noted the sign at the front of Jenner's favourite park. Casey paid the fare and they walked into the park, Casey's hands still permanently stuffed in her pockets as she walked a few paces ahead of Ethan. He stopped in his tracks causing her to stop and turn around, looking at him in annoyance that he'd stopped.

"Something's happened, and I'm not taking another step with you Casey, until you tell me what it is. and don't deny anything, you're not holding my hand. You're about 5 paces ahead of me, and you're being cold towards me which isn't you. So, what is it?"

"Nothi-"

"No! Don't give me that bullshit Casey Jane Valentine."

Sighing Casey turned her head and continued walking so he wouldn't see her hardened resolve crumble, but she eventually broke out into a run. "Casey!" Ethan shouted and broke out in a run to chase her. Somewhere along the way she'd turned down a trail and ran behind a tree. She was now sitting on the grass area surrounding it as she sobbed what felt like a million tears. She knew Ethan and Harper had a history together but why she being punished for him breaking things off with her? Why did Harper hate her? As her thoughts raced faster in her head, it got too much and she screamed into the void around her before laying on the ground feeling defeated, loud sobs emanating from her throat as she hugged herself for comfort. She felt so alone. Like such a bitch for treating the man she loved so coldly just to try and prove that they were 'only good friends' and that's when it dawned on her. She couldn't do this secret relationship thing anymore. She and Ethan either had to let everyone know and risk their jobs. Or it was going to be over for them.

As Ethan's feet pounded along the pavement to catch up with Casey, it took everything in him to not let the tears that stung his eyes, fall out and down his face. He had to give it to her when it came to running, she was the fastest person he knew, but he slowed to a stop as they turned onto the trail, bending over to catch his breath, supporting himself with his hands resting on his knees. He'd just stood upright again after catching his breath when he heard an all too familiar scream of pain that shook him to his core, as the worst scenario rushed into his mind. Casey had just been murdered by someone on the trail who was waiting in the shadows for the perfect victim. Adrenaline took over his veins once more, and he sprinted through the trail in search for his girlfriend. He was sure whatever had gotten her to act like this had to have been caused by Harper because she'd been in a super weird mood after going to her office after being paged. When he found Casey she was still laying in the grass sobbing so hard it was painful to watch, he approached her but didn't step on the grass just yet. "Cinnamon roll? Can I sit with you?" he asked, a little more hopefulness in his voice than he had intended to be there, sighing when he got no response. Pain coursing through him as he watched Casey there in the grass crying. He approached her and crouched down next to her, wrapping his arms round her shuddering frame tentatively, bracing to be rejected but sighed into her hair, pulling her close as she wrapped her arms round his torso, burying her head in the crook of his neck. "It's okay. I'm here for you." he soothed softly as he rubbed her back comfortingly. After a while Casey's sobs subsided and they made there way off of the trail holding hands. As they came upon the park café Casey had planned to take Ethan to, she let out a deep sigh, looking at the ground.

"What's the matter?"

"Can we... talk about it late? I-"

"Hey. Of course. That's fine."

"Thank you. I just want to eat now. And celebrate Jenner's life with you."

With a soft smile, Ethan opened the door to the café, and they took a seat inside, their usual drink order being brought over almost straight away, and they thanked the kind old lady who had become somewhat of a friend to them over the past year since Casey started joining Ethan in walking Jenner. They placed the order for their food, and made small talk whilst they ate it, before they left, Ethan headed to the bathrooms, and Casey went to the counter to talk to the kind old woman, who smiled at her with a fondness only a grandmother would.

"Hello dear. Was everything to your liking today?"

"It was outstanding as always Margret"

"Oh good. I'm glad. ... Now I would notice that look anywhere. What can I do for you darling?"

"Well, you see, the thing is. Ethan... he um... he had to have Jenner put to sleep after he got into an accident with a car. Today marks the 15th year since he brought him home from the rescue shelter and I'm helping Ethan remember him in the best ways possible. I don't suppose you have any of those biscuits he always liked spare, do you?"

"Oh of course I do my sweet. You know I always would keep one safe for the rascal."

Margret walked to the back and returned a few moments later, passing her the biscuit just as Ethan rejoined Casey by her side, lacing their fingers together. "Here you go. I hope whatever it is you have planned goes well. And my condolences for your loss Ethan, my darling." She said with a warm but sad smile as she briefly squeezed Ethan's shoulder with a tight nod. After some goodbyes, Casey and Ethan walked back into the park and down the path to the main gates. Once on the main street, Casey stopped a taxi and this time sat in the back with Ethan, which he had to admit, warmed his heart a little. When they arrived back at Casey's apartment complex, Ethan covered the fare and they walked up to the apartment together. Outside the door Casey knocked even though she had her keys, which confused Ethan.

"Sienna?! We're back!"

".... COMING!"

A few seconds later the door flew open and Sienna handed Casey a blindfold. Turning to Ethan, Casey jumped trying to put it on him which made him laugh.

"Baby, what are you doing?"

"Trying to blindfold you, duh."

"But why."

"So the surprise isn't ruined."

"... I'll humor you this once."

Ethan smirked as he took the blindfold from her and slipped it over his eyes. After checking he couldn't see, Sienna held the door open and Casey led him into the apartment.

"Okay... I want you to bear in mind that this was all very last minute so not everything is here but.... I do hope you like what we've put together for you okay?"

"Cinnamon roll, you know I'd like anything you put together for me."

"Okay, I want you to brace yourself, count to three and then remove your blindfold."

Casey placed the biscuit Margret had given them on the coffee table and picked up her gift, standing in front of the couch with her roommates in anticipation. When Ethan had counted to three, he removed the blindfold, letting his eyes adjust to the room, gasping as he took in the decorations surrounding him. "Casey... when did you have the time to arrange all of this?" he asked as he moved towards a picture frame with a picture of the three of them in together, all looking happy. "Well. It wasn't all me. I happen to have some very awesome friends who were down to help me and, well, you. All of us here have grieved a loss at some point in our lives so far, but we also all know how much Jenner meant to you. You were inseparable. And we want to help you through this difficult time." Casey spoke softly as he walked around looking at the decorations, appreciating the lengths they had all gone to for him. For Jenner. Suddenly emotion hit him like a train, and he started crying as he turned to Casey, pulling her into a tight hug. Everyone else in the room getting emotional too.

"Uh, Dr. Ramsey." Elijah said as he blew his nose.

"Please. Call me Ethan."

"Okay. Um, Ethan. Casey said it wasn't necessary for me to do seeing as I'm struggling with my money at the moment, but I wanted to get you a gift too. We all did. So well.. this is from myself, Jackie, Sienna and Aurora. It won't match Casey's gift but we uh... here." Elijah hesitated as he passed the wrapped gift, Ethan gratefully accepting it as he sat to open it. He gasped as he removed the wrapping upon seeing what it was.

"Is it... bad?"

"No Dr. Greene, uhm, Elijah.. it's perfect. Thank you."

"Casey mentioned you broke yours and it still hadn't been replaced, so we gathered the same pictures and had another made for you at this shop not too far away. Thankfully, they understood and fast tracked our order but.. the best addition is this.. May I?"

Elijah held out his hand and Ethan passed him the photo cube, watching as he flipped it around before turning it, to show Ethan a picture of Jenner that had wings and a halo added to it, with the caption, 'I'll be waiting for you dad. Love you always.' on it. Tears fell from Ethan's eyes again as he lent on Casey's shoulder, taking the cube back from Elijah. "Okay. My own roommates are out gifting me to my boyfriend now. I may just have to kick y'all out." Casey joked to lighten the mood a little and they chuckled as they dabbed at their eyes with tissues.

"This is emotional. I hate emotion." Jackie sniffled

"Come on Jack. If Ethan can cry then so can we." Aurora said

Ethan hugged Casey and the others took seats on the couches and in chairs as the mood settled back down before Casey gave Ethan her gift.

"Before you open this. I know you aren't one for jewelry, but, like we've said. I know how close you were and still are to Jenner, so I thought this would ease things for you. Because he can still be with you all the time."

Looking a little baffled Ethan carefully opened the gift, throwing the paper to the side as he opened the jewelry box to find a pendant inside. Carefully he opened it, instantly tearing up again as he saw a picture of himself, Jenner and his dad on one side, and a smiley Casey on the other. "Cinnamon roll." he cried as his voice cracked, pulling her into a tight hug and kissing her cheek. "It's beautiful. Thank you so much. I love you. So so much."

Emotion filled the room again as everyone cried at Casey's gift, and the matching pendant she had been wearing all day, hiding it under her sweater. "What did I do to deserve you all?" Ethan asked, as he dabbed and blinked the last of his tears away. They all shared a light chuckle, and Aurora cleared her throat to give an answer.

"You not only inspired us, but you pushed us in our first year to be our absolute best. You made our bond as friends stronger, for me, you mainly showed me that I needed friends. If I wasn't to end up at stiff as you that is. But most of all, you loved our Cassie. You gave her kindness, compassion, support. Everything you have here. Now. Is because you deserve the kindness and love you've given out. Back."

Jackie looked at her quizzically.

"What?"

"When did you become so sentimental?"

"I could ask you the same damn thing right about now."

"Touche."

After talking about Jenner's memory, there was one more thing to do before they all headed to bed for the night. With the biscuit from Margret tied to a few helium-filled balloons, they headed out onto the balcony and looked up at the sky. Ethan taking the balloons from Sienna.

"Hey buddy. It's your dad. I hope they're looking after you up there, because if they aren't they'll be hell to pay when I get there. Anyway, you um. You don't need to worry about me too much. Your mom and her friends are looking after me down here. You should go ahead on more adventures to tell me all about when we meet again. Just like I'm going to for you. I uh.. Well both me and your mom went to see Margret today, and we've brought you your favourite treat. We thought we'd send it up to you so. Here you go buddy. Enjoy. And remember, small bites. Good boy. I love you. Goodnight for now."

He spoke with thick emotion before letting the balloons go as he tightly held Casey's and Elijah's hands, the others joining the chain as they watched the balloons carry the biscuit higher and higher until they couldn't see it anymore. They headed back inside and locked all the doors and windows, cleaning up the mess and going to bed. Casey and Ethan never spoke about where their relationship stood that night. Were they to remain a secret or not. Little did she know the next morning that question would be answered for her. But for now, her focus was sleep. And cuddling Ethan. 

------ The Next Day ------

Feeling refreshed still, half way into the morning at work the next day, Casey stood in a hallway marking a chart as the hospital's PA system dinged overhead. She expected it to be a trauma call or something calling someone to the ER, but she froze as the familiar voice filled the halls and heads turned to stare at her.

"Good Morning staff of Edenbrook. This is Dr. Ramsey. I sound ridiculously happy given recent circumstances in my personal life. But there is a reason and I no longer care if it costs me my job. I'm happy because of a certain doctor. She's probably blushing right now and untucking her hair trying to hide her face whilst it's scrunched up in embarrassment. Anyway, this is not the time for tangents. I'm in love with and dating Dr. Casey Valentine and I've finally stopped giving fucks to hide it. Casey. I love you. I fucking love you. That will be all. Please resume your days as normal."

Casey rushed to a nearby supply closet, a grin spreading on her face as she shut the door. He loved her.

Truly. Madly. Deeply.

[yuzusorbet]

A beautiful and moving fan account of GPF Torino 2019, by a fan who lives in Turin, Italy.

THE YUZU CHRONICLES IN TURIN – DAY ONE

Yuzu is in my town. Yuzu is in my town. I can’t quite believe it: I’m having breakfast and can’t quite believe it, I go out and can’t quite believe it, I get on the subway and… yes, I start to believe it, since I’m surrounded by Poohs. So many Asian women, so many Skate Canada/FaOI/Continue with Wings bags. When I get off, I can feel the thrill: in less than one hour, I’m going to see Yuzu live! In my town! As soon as I reach the Palavela, I meet other fans: some I met last year in Helsinki, some I never met before, but it doesn’t matter. Here we are, all for Yuzu, all with Yuzu, hoping and feeling and praying and focusing for him and with – and that’s something so strong that all the differences between us – country, age, social/economical/cultural status – disappear. It’s just so beautiful (and important) to be here, together, when Yuzuru is skating at the Grand Prix Final. At last. I find a good seat – mine is not bad, but there are better places where I can settle down and watch the practice – and wait for Yuzu. The arena is not totally full but there are many people here anyway: (nearly) all for Yuzu? A roaring, thunderous shout is the answer: YES! And Yuzu has just appeared… alone. Where’s Brian, or Tracy, or Ghislain? Nobody knows, at the moment. He puts his beloved Pooh on the balustrade, then waits for the Zamboni to resurface the ice, and finally enters the rink: he bends down, touches the ice, and takes off. Yes, I can’t find another way to tell what he does: does he skate? For sure. Does he dance? Definitely. But he flies. The impression is there’s always some room between his blades and the ice, an inch of air allowing him to just float. And the noise he makes on the ice is just so different from the noise made by all the other skaters… you could close your eyes and tell when Yuzu is skating just listening to him. But of course it’s so mesmerizing to watch him: when you see him live, you catch something that you can guess even watching his videos, but that is so strong and obvious here. You can call it aura, or charisma: something so overwhelming that I feel blessed and hypnothised at the same time. The practice goes by very fast. Yuzu skates… what to say? He fell a couple of times; he pops a couple of jumps (one at the beginning of Origin run-through); his skating is so graceful, though, and solid, and pure, that no fall and no popped jump can damage its beauty at all. Moreover, he had so many outstanding moments: all his 4S and 4T and 3A; the 4T-euler-3F sequence; an unusual 3A-3A sequence; the 4Lo he lands (majestic)… and the 4Lz he lands (royal)! Really: as soon as I understand he’s going to jump a 4Lz, I cross all of my fingers and clench my teeth and… and he jumps. Cleanly, beautifully. Never underestimate Mr. Hanyu: I’d better remember Brian’s words. Finally, he cools down. A slow Italian song, Di sole e d’azzurro (“Of sun and light blue”) by Giorgia, is filling the arena. Yuzu gets in tune with it and starts his usual sequence: grand pliés, arabesques, ports de bras… in this moment, he really looks, he is Baryshnikov on ice. I don’t know how he can do it, but he’s able to fill my heart with fire and calm at the same time. Maybe it’s “just” beauty, or poetry. Maybe it’s “just” love.

THE YUZU CHRONICLES IN TURIN – DAY TWO: SHORT PROGRAM

How hard it is to write today, I’m not even sure I should. I drink some more tea and check my watch: it’s 11 pm. I should work a bit. Maybe writing will heal my heart a bit, though, so okay, let’s start. Let’s go back to Thursday. The day of the short program. I reach the Palavela at 6.15 p.m. I was here for Yuzu’s practice in the morning – and it was so good: my favourite training outfit (black and grey shirt), some stunning jumps (the 4Lutz!), the impression that he’s floating in kind of a bubble of brightness – and now I’m back. There’s no queue and I get quickly into the arena. There are Chinese fans providing small banners to cheer for Yuzu. There are people gathered at the Edea stand, taking picture by a big poster of Yuzu. There’s an Italian man (a volunteer from the Palavela staff, I’d say) giving out pictures of Yuzu, with a long queue of ladies in front of him. And there are so many Poohs, everywhere. I just love this context, this atmosphere, but I can’t ignore the tension that is slowly making its way inside me. A couple of hours and Yuzu will compete. I can’t wait to see him, but at the same time I don’t want to see him. I want to pay my most heartfelt tribute to the most amazing skater in history, but I know I’ll quake with fear. How can I feel like that for someone I don’t even know personally? I think about that bubble of brightness, the sound of his blades, the grace of his arms, the fire in his eyes: of course I can, for someone like Yuzu.

Time to reach my seat and watch the opening ceremony. Time to wait for Yuzu. A presenter who speaks a bad English  – and I wait for Yuzu. Some famous Italian skaters who perform nicely – and I wait for Yuzu. The pairs’ short program – and I wait for Yuzu. Some more minutes. And here he is, for the warm-up. Still alone with his Pooh. Since yesterday , the rumours about Ghislain’s absence are never ending – he had an accident, he’s got problem with his visa, what kind of visa does he need to come to Italy?? – but they end now. Yuzuru is there, and when he takes off his Japan jacket and reveals his costume, he looks like a dream from my childhood: my mother would read me a fairy tale before sleeping, and when I closed my eyes I would think (or dream already) of princes and castles and singing birds and starry nights… and in this very moment, with his costume sparkling like a constellation, Yuzuru is  almost the incarnation of that enchanted realm I envisioned when I was young and innocent, and so happy. And I would probably lose myself into that dream, if I wasn’t aware of the fact that the short program is going to start. Yuzuru will be the last one to take the ice. Before, I watch the other five skaters: Boyang Jin, Dmitri Aliev, Alexander Samarin, Kevin Aymoz – and, of course, Nathan Chen. He’s good but not perfect: his 4Lz looks pre-rotated, the exit from his 3A is a bit problematic, the second jump of his combination is short and definitely not effortless. But he scores more than 110 points. Just a handful of hundredths behind Yuzu’s record. What, how, why? I look at Eleonora, an Italian fan sitting by my side, and I know that my face must show the same feelings displaying on hers: awareness and wistfulness. It’s the same old story, isn’t it? As long as Yuzuru and Nathan do not compete directly against each other, Yuzuru’s scores are way higher than Nathan’s; but as soon as they share the same ice, the scoring system seems to turn upside down. Yuzu, oh, Yuzu … He’s on the ice, taking his starting position. The first note of Otoñal fills the arena – nothing else can be heard, not even the occasional coughing here and there. Yuzu, oh, Yuzu, please… Some steps, some transitions, 4S. Natural like a leaf floating in the tranquil stream of a river. Twizzles, 3A, twizzles. Pure harmony. We all wait for the last jumps, the combination. 4T… and no triple. No triple. Manuela and I look at each other. What score will these judges award to this program? To two perfect jumps, and a perfect step sequence, and perfect spins, and an obvious mistake? The answer comes soon: 97.43 points. 13 points behind Nathan. Can Yuzu still win, with these judges? Because I still haven’t look at the protocol, but it’s clear that he didn’t get the points he deserved for the Salchow, the Axel, the spins. And I’m quite sure that, even if he had been perfect, he would have earned something like 111, or 112 – no more than that. And I am sad. And angry. And I need to talk, to talk a lot, like every time I feel sad and angry. It’s a good thing that I’m not alone in front of my PC but amongst hundreds of fanyus, so we can share our sadness, our anger, and talk, talk a lot: while my friend Paolo and I walk to the subway station, while we find out that the subway isn’t working at the moment, while we call a taxi, while we share the fare with two Germans and a Japanese… …but as soon as I get off the taxi and start walking home, all my sadness and anger calm down. They don’t disappear; they just shrink to give room to something  – someone – much more important: Yuzu. I wonder how he’s feeling  now. Mad at himself, disappointed, too tired to feel anything else than an urgent need to just go to bed and sleep? And Ghislain is not there… Oh, Yuzu, how I would like to do something for you; something useful, not only feeling this dull pain in my chest and complaining about the scores. If only I could, I would give you a hug – to comfort you, to protect you. Or maybe I would take your hand and take you to the Po river. It’s quite close, you know? And there’s a beautiful park, called Valentino, with meadows descending gently  to the water. We would watch the river flow for a while, talking only if you wished to, then I would take you to Fiorio. Have someone told you about this ancient café in the centre of Turin? There are old huge mirrors, armchairs in red velvet, big rococo chandeliers, and a creaking wooden floor; we could sit there, order a hot chocolate or their famous gianduia (hazelnuts +chocolate) ice-cream; and for a few moments, for only a few moments, you could close your eyes, savour that new, creamy taste on your tongue, and forget about those damn 13 points, that damn combo… but probably you don’t want to forget, do you? You want to understand what happened, and why, and plan what you have to do now. Just don’t spend the whole night watching your SP again and again, right? Oh God, I sound like an old auntie. I open the door of my apartment. Sadness and anger are like a faint but constant throb in my stomach. Will I be able to sleep, tonight? I’m not sure, but it’s not so important. What’s important, is that Yuzu can sleep, and Ghislain arrives in Torino, and the judges come to their senses. Have sweet dreams, Yuzu, my wonderboy.

THE YUZU CHRONICLES IN TURIN – DAY THREE: QUAD AXEL

Fear. Joy. Worry. Fury. Emotion. What a day, the third day of the Grand Prix Final.  And yet, it was supposed to be a quiet day, for us fanyus: no competition, only some practice. When it comes to Yuzu, though, quietness looks scarily like a storm, and there’s nothing we can do about it: there’s no way to be even remotely prepared to all the ideas, visions, plans and dreams that cross Yuzu’s mind and that he chooses to act out. That’s why I’m more or less calm, when I get to the Palavela. “More or less” because I had a tough night: I kept on tossing and turning in my bed, thinking about the short program, constantly grabbing and turning off my phone – eager to read anything the web could provide me about it, and scared by possible haters and nasty posts.  So now I’m still sad and angry, but also too tired to have very strong feelings: sadness is a dull, feeble pain in my chest, anger a whisper that I try to ignore. I queue, get inside, talk with some friends. A few minutes, and Yuzu appears. Alone with Pooh: so Ghislain hasn’t arrived yet. Gosh, it’s all so wrong. The scores, the absence of Yuzu’s coach… we are in the middle of the Grand Prix Final and there were a bunch of bad omens already. No, I don’t want to be so negative. Yuzu needs to feel, to breath optimism and trust. Think positive, Alessandra; for the sake of Yuzu, think beautiful, think glorious! But it’s Yuzu, the one who’s beautiful and glorious. I always loved all kinds of practices and rehearsals: when some ballet company comes to my town, I always try and ask permission to attend a class, or some rehearsal. I love to see a work in progress, and all the commitment and efforts that artists, dancers and athletes put into their performances. No costumes, no lights, sometimes not even music: just the focus, sweat and love needed to succeed. When practicing, Yuzuru is like that, of course, but he also has – is – something different. The way he can look incredibly focused – and actually a bit dangerous – and turn suddenly into a playful child. The long talks he has with himself. His ability to ignore all the people watching him, just to thank everyone with a deep bow. His unexpected smiles, his gloved fingers pointing here and there while he’s planning and calculating who knows what. The lightness of his warm-ups, the grace of his cool-downs. When you watch him practice, it’s like watching a painter create a masterpiece right in front of you: his (sometimes bizarre) rituals, his methods, some surprises, the development of his work – art coming to life stroke by stroke, bit by bit: and you realize how big the privilege is to witness greatness in the making. So, warm-up. Jumps. No spins (has Yuzu ever done a spin in any practice?). Run-through. Other jumps. And then. He has just tried a new sequence for the free skate, 3A3A; so, when he skates in my direction, I think that he will try that sequence again: oh yes, he’s preparing an Axel. Then he throws himself into the jump and pops it, landing heavily on two feet. Ouch, I hope it was not painful as it looked… he skates around the rink, then again in my direction. Does he want to try the Axel again? He throws himself into the jump and pops it, landing heavily on two feet… Wait. He’s not popping his jumps. He’s jumping like this on purpose. And he jumps so high. Okay, his Axels are always very high, but now he’s really taking off as if he wanted to touch the roof with his fingers! I turn to Lys and Giovanna, who sit behind me. We look at each other, knowingly. Yes. Yuzu is practicing the 4A. As if he wanted to confirm what we’re thinking, he throws himself into the jump again, but this time he doesn’t pop it: he rotates it. One rotation, two, three, four… he lands before completing the last half turn, crashing on the ice. A collective gasp runs through the audience, someone screams, I grab and squeeze Lys’ calf in my hands. Oh God, Yuzu, stop it. Oh no, Yuzu, don’t stop it, let me see it again. No no no, on the contrary, don’t do it, be careful. Well, be careful but try once again… and he tries: another jump, under rotated as well, another fall. The audience is hypnotized. Someone shouts, someone cries, but it sounds like nobody could break the silence surrounding Yuzu. He seems alone now, as if no skater was in the rink but him. He skates in my direction again, and I count every second, one two three four five, until he jumps again. One rotation, two, three, four… and a half. Four and a half. Then he lands and crash on the ice again. But he made it. He has just jumped a quad Axel.

And the Palavela explodes. Shouts, cries, applause, people standing, people frozen in their seats, people scared, people happy, people who don’t fully understand what happened, but we all sense the truth: today, we were so lucky to witness history in the making. The practice is over, and Yuzu exits the rink followed by the loudest applause ever – and the longest too: our jubilation began way before he took his bows. When he disappears, everybody starts talking about his 4A. Someone’s almost mad at him (“I hope his mom is going to slap some sense into him!”), someone’s reverently astonished (“Have you seen the height of that quad? How much it was, about 95 centimetres?”), we all look on the edge of a nervous breakdown. It was supposed to be a quiet day, wasn’t it? But we should have known better than this. Because it’s Yuzu, and Yuzu always wants to climb higher walls, to aim for wider goals; to go beyond the horizon of what is possible for us, normal human beings. And this is one of the reasons why he is who he is; this is one of the reasons why we love him so much. There are winners, but he’s a champion. There are athletes, but he’s a history maker. And I left the Palavela with tears in my eyes, vibrant love in my heart.

THE YUZU CHRONICLES IN TURIN – DAY FOUR: FREE SKATE

So here I am, not really ready for… how should I call it? The showdown? Maybe. Who are the main characters in this fight, though? Yuzu and Nathan? Yuzu and the judges, more likely. And I’m not sure it’s going to be a fair fight. No matter if the knight in his shining armour has a marvellous sword made of an outstanding technical value and of wonderful components: his opponent can be petty and play dirty, and only in fairy-tales Good always triumphs over Evil. The free skate is about to begin. The morning has been long and tiring already: we all had to queue in the dark and in the cold before Yuzu’s practice at 7 am (thank God I met some friends, like Petra and Astrid, so that I could talk a bit and I didn’t have to queue by myself, alone and anxious), then there was a collective scream when Ghislain made his appearance in the arena (he’s here! He’s here! FINALLY!!), then… well, then there was Yuzu’s practice, and watching Yuzu live is always an unique experience, no matter what he’s doing: it’s like when you’re a child and for the first time you see something unknown which surprises and bewitches you – Peter Pan is on stage and Tink is going to die, unless you clap your hands and shout: “ I do believe in fairies!”, full of emotions and on the brim of tears… After the practice I went home, walked my dogs, worked a bit: everything just to keep anxiety at bay. Now I should be tired, and probably I am; but I’m too nervous, and I have too much adrenaline running in my blood, to feel tired. I just want to see Yuzu skate. I just want to see Yuzu happy with his performance. I just want to see Yuzu win? Of course: because I want him to be happy, and I know how important for his happiness it is to win; because he’s the best skater in the whole world, and I’d like him to be acknowledged as the king he is. But CAN he win? I’m afraid not. I’m afraid that he can win only if Nathan falls, more than one time and quite hard: not just with his hands or his knee on the ice, but with his whole body… is that what I want? Do I really want Nathan to fail so badly? I wish I could instantly say: no, of course I don’t want it. But I must confess that I can’t, and I hate this unfair scoring system for this reason too: because it awakens the darkest part of me, and pulls out of me my worst feelings and thoughts. I’ve seen so many figure skating competitions, and I’ve always hoped that all the skaters could skate clean – may the best win! Since the 2018-2019 skating season, though, as the new scoring system showed more and more its limits and its unfairness, I found out how hard it is for me to go beyond my own limits, to be fair and good. So, while I’m waiting for the skaters to make their appearance in the arena, I try to think “May the best win”, but I’m not convinced. Nathan, I’m sorry, but could you please fall? Not too hard, okay, but could you undoubtedly, unquestionably fall? Or at least make several obvious mistakes, so that the so-called judges can see who’s the real king of figure skating? Oh, God, I hate myself. I have no time to blame myself, though: the music signalling the beginning of the competition suddenly resounds in the whole arena, louder than ever, and the lights go down. While the speaker is announcing what we’re about to see, there’s a collective start: the skaters are gathered just outside the rink. In the dim light I can’t tell who’s who, I just see some distant heads, but I recognise Yuzu immediately. I can’t see his features very well, but I could recognise him even if he was amongst a thousand people in the dark.  The simple way he stands is so peculiar. So elegant. And when he enters the rink for the warm-up and bows to the audience, he looks so noble and proud: he’s aware that all eyes are on him, all hearts are with him. Is this awareness giving him strength? Or is it a burden? In a moment like this, when there’s so much at stake for him, I would like – I would need – how I should behave to help him as much as possible. Screaming his name until I lose my voice? Clapping my hands politely and nothing more? If only I could know the answer; if only I could be of use for you, Yuzu… …and the warm-up is over. Already? Yes, already. And I cannot watch the first four skaters, not really, because I’m waiting for Yuzu, and skater after skater my heart beats faster and my hands get sweaty and cold. I’m so full of fear, and anticipation, and love. May the best win: may Yuzu win. And there he is. So handsome that watching him I feel my eyes burn like when I try and look at the sun. May Yuzu win. So dear to my heart that I want to see him but somehow I can’t stand seeing him, so I put a hand on my eyes and watch him through my fingers, just like a child watching a scary movie. May Yuzu win… 4Lo: perfect. 4Lz: perfect as well. 3Lz: perfect again. 4S: per-fect… I’m watching the competition live so I can’t see how the judges are scoring each element of Yuzu’s skate, and I don’t know whether it’s a blessing or a curse; anyway, so far he’s been outstanding, the judges have to give him very high GOE… 4T+euler+3F. Step out, maybe the 3F was a bit under rotated? Come on, Yuzu. 4T+…2T. He’s tired. But the quad was fantastic. Come on, Yuzu, you can do it, only the sequence 3A+3A is missing… alright, here comes his trademark, the counter back, and then… single Axel. Okay Yuzu, it’s okay, just go on, go on! Last spin. Final pose – and Yuzu can’t take it anymore, he’s so tired that the final pose lasts for less than one second, then he puts his arms and forehead on the ice, gasping for air. This is not an asthma attack, right? For a moment, I gasp for air too. Then Yuzu stands up, and bows to the audience, and I go wild like everyone else here, I scream, I cry, I throw my Winnie the Pooh on the ice, I clap my hand, I lose any awareness of myself – lost as I am in Yuzu, burning with pride and emotion. Yuzu, you made it. Five, five perfect quads, and one was that fated 4Lz. Okay, your skate wasn’t completely clean, but it was so special, and so much more than a simple “skate”: it was so full of humanity, and struggle, and glory. It wasn’t just a performance: it was a tale, and how beautifully you told it. How unforgettably.

Yuzu and Ghislain sit in the Kiss&Cry forever. Considering that picking up all the Poohs took a long while, it’s clear that the judges are having trouble with Yuzu’s score. Why? Why? The first answer coming to my mind flows directly out of the worst part of me: because they are probably looking for elements they can underscore. Oh no, please, no… “The score, please,” the speaker says. And here it is. 194 points. Technical score, 100.36; PCS, 93.64. This is not a score. This is a joke, and I can’t stand it anymore. Because I know, I simply know that Nathan will not only win, but he will set a new world record, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the judges give him higher PCS than Yuzu’s. I’m sorry, usually I’m not so mean; right now, though, I just can’t sit here, be polite and show any kind of sportsmanship. Those so-called judges have just humiliated the most amazing person in the whole world, and I can’t stay here and watch them play their foul game anymore. So I stand up and run out, and to hell this competition and its rules and everything. As soon as I’m in the hallway, I meet other people: some Asian women who don’t want to talk, and two girls from Los Angeles. They’re even angrier than me, and for the three of us it’s a bit soothing to share our indignation and to spit out all the rage we are feeling. If only our rage could be useful, somehow… it isn’t, though: in a few minutes we get to know that, of course, Nathan won, and that, of course, he set a new world record. So I was right, and I couldn’t be less proud of my foresight. Waiting for the victory ceremony is hard. As my friend Jacqueline and I queue at a café, rage gets less and less burning, turning into a heavy burden of bitterness. Will there ever be a way out of this shameful situation? A squad of incompetent (corrupted? Hopefully not) judges, an International Union doing nothing to promote fair competing and judging, and Yuzuru paying the biggest price. The whole queue, the whole Palavela is talking about it, but what for? We can’t change anything. We can only go back to our seats and cheer for Yuzu, make him feel how much we are proud of what he has achieved today – because that’s the truth: no matter how much the judges underscore him, no matter how many times they make him lose a competition, he’s the greatest skater of all time. It’s his technique that coaches refer to when they need to teach their skaters how to do a perfect jump/spin/transition; it’s him the one who always tries new combinations, new moves; it’s him who forced the ISU to change the rules in order to keep up with his greatness; it’s him who yesterday – just yesterday! – showed us that the 4A is possible. Only. Him. Time for the victory ceremony. And what a weird ceremony is this one. Not a single clap for any representative of any skating association, from ISU to the Italian Federation. People clap their hands for Kevin and Nathan, that’s it. For Yuzu, instead… for Yuzu, there’s an acclamation. This is not only a tribute to what he did here: this is a declaration of love and, at the same time, a battle cry. Yes, Yuzu, we love you, and we stand by you, and we will fight as much as we can to make those “experts” - those idiots who presume they have the right to judge you and humiliate you – acknowledge your magnificence. Our battle cry is so loud and never ending that Yuzu himself is astonished, overwhelmed, and points to Nathan as if he was saying “Thank you, but look, he’s the winner”. You are right, Yuzu: Nathan is the winner, yes.  In our hearts, though, you won  so much more than a competition. You came here, you fought your limits and fears (the 4A, the 4Lz, 5 quads plus transitions plus skating skill plus musicality plus grace), and you prevailed. You’re not only a king: you are a warrior king. The arena is full of signs with the writing “Unfair judgment”. For the first time at a competition, I hear boos from the audience. Okay, Yuzu. Let the battle start.

THE YUZU CHRONICLES IN TURIN – DAY FIVE: NOTTE STELLATA

It’s 9.30 a.m. and the Pellerina looks peaceful and welcoming. It’s a big park in western Turin, and I came here with my dogs to find some rest. After four days of Grand Prix – four days of Yuzu – I feel like a kaleidoscope: full of whirling colours, hypnotic spirals, and surprising patterns. It’s amazing, but it’s exhausting too. There are three ponds here, a big river and so many trees, and birds. I think you’d like the Pellerina, Yuzu; maybe you’d like all of my town. Its numerous parks, the long tree-lined avenues, the creamy colour of its buildings from the XVIIth and XVIIIth century. I would have loved to be your guide, allowing you to take a break from the mad, unfair competition that this GPF has been. I can’t even start to imagine how much tired you are, and it would have been nice to take you out – it would have been magic to see you here, walking under the trees, looking at the ducks in the ponds, smiling while my dogs play and run freely… but you prefer to stay at the Palavela, don’t you? Walking around the rink where Plushenko won in 2006, looking at the Olympic rings on the wall, chatting with your fellow skaters. Are you rehearsing for the gala? I hope you’re having fun. I check my watch: 10.15; it’s time to go. The gala will begin at 2 p.m., but I want to get to the arena at about 12 and spend some quality time with my friends. Actually, surviving the rollercoaster of this GPF would have been much harder, without all the lovely fanyus around me. Yesterday, after the medal ceremony, some members of our fan group met at the Edea stand inside the Palavela; it was so crowded and narrow and noisy, but ranting all together about the judges, praising Yuzu and taking pictures were exactly the things I needed to forget my sadness for a while, to turn my anger into good energy. Then Jacqueline and I went to Eataly, a famous restaurant and supermarket, and drank our bitterness away, turning quickly from being fans to being friends (and a bit drunk). Then… Eleonora, Petra, Linda, Shuko, Rory, Mara, Astrid, Barbara, and many others with whom I talked so much, inside and outside the Palavela, and stuck together through hope and rage, pain and love. Paolo, my faithful travelling (on many subway trains) companion. Lys and Carolina, who spent countless hours talking and crying and hugging and laughing and cursing with me. All the unknown fanyus in the audience, when we melted into one body with thousands of voices to scream out loud our love for Yuzu. It was a treat, and an honour, to meet so many beautiful people, and I know that as soon as the gala is over – as soon as I say good-bye to them all – I will feel empty, somehow, and alone. I drive back home, feed my dogs, then I’m ready to go to the Palavela for the last time… for the last time? I can’t quite believe it: from tomorrow on, I won’t see Yuzu every day. This week has been tough, but so intense: the thrill of the competition, for sure, but most of all the spell that Yuzu put on anyone watching him. His commitment, the 4A, his beauty, the stunning comeback of the 4Lz… I’m bewitched. And I’m pampered too, now that I’m (almost) used to see him so often: me wants Yuzu every day! The queue is endless as usual – I wait for my turn, apologizing silently to all the people here for how very badly this event was organised – but finally I’m able to get in.  With other fanyus, I wonder which exhibition program Yuzu is going to skate: Haru Yo Koi? Yes, Yuzu must be so tired, he will rather skate something not too physically straining. Masquerade? Well, many of us would love to see it live… some time before the gala, though, we find out that he’s going to skate Notte Stellata. Oh yes, it makes sense: he’s in Italy, in an Olympic venue, of course he has chosen the Italian song he skated to in Pyeongchang. Now that I think of it, it’s always like that with Yuzu: we always try to guess what kind of music/program he will choose for the new season/an exhibition and he always surprises us, even though his choices are perfectly sensible. And I must confess that any choice would be great for me: I’m quite sure I could watch Yuzu doing cross-overs for half an hour and I wouldn’t get bored. Notte Stellata… I never saw it live. Will it be an experience as strong as it was seeing Haru Yo Koi in Helsinki? Yes, it is. So much that, after seeing it, I will forget all the other performances. So much that, while seeing it, I cry. Usually I’m not the crying kind, but watching Yuzu float like a swan on a frozen lake brings tears to my eyes. Yesterday, after the free skate, a friend of mine wrote me this message: “Each movement seems to take him beyond the limits of his human body and to emanate grace and elegance, filling your eyes and lingering in the air even as he glides into a new step”. I also think of what the Olympic commentator said about this program: “With one delayed single Axel and one triple Axel, Yuzuru Hanyu, double gold medallist, just gave a masterclass on what figure skating actually is”. Yes, that’s what figure skating actually is. Going beyond one’s physical limits on a quest for grace, elegance, and beauty. Giving goose-bumps and tears to each and every witness of this travel from what’s known to the unknown, from sport to art. What figure skating actually is, is Yuzuru Hanyu. His last spin goes on and on, even if there’s not music anymore, just like Yuzu will go on and on: in our memory, in our heart, in the history as well as in the future of this sport. And while I scream at the top of my lungs, and clap my shaking hands, I thank Yuzu: for these five days in Turin. For how alive and privileged I’ve felt. For showing me that there can be greatness even in defeat. Ganbatte for Japan Championships and for the rest of your skating season, Yuzu, but don’t worry: somehow, you are always, always, the winner.

--written by Alessandra Montrucchio (in Yuzuru Hanyu International Fan Group on FB), re-posted here with her permission. Pics belong to original owners.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Catch Me if You Can (Sriracha, Part 5.)

Description: A problematic college student gets the worst summer job of the ‘83 - Jim Hopper, the Chief of police in your hometown will have you as his secretary since his old lady Flo has two months lasting holiday. It was agreed so Hopper could keep you far away from all the trouble.

Part Summary: Mark Summers, Jim Hopper, and Steve Harrington are the three men you have on your mind constantly during the summer of '83 - not knowing if it's a bad thing or a good one.

A/N: We are starting to break the ice with my ol’ pal Jim here! 

Word count: 2.3 K

Tagging: @nemodoren​ @missdictatorme​ @creedslove​

Master list: H E R E

Mark Summers. Mark Summers. That was the name that was popping on your mind two days in a row - you stood in front of your window, watching your lawn being sprayed with the water sprayer and you were thinking about the mysterious, suntanned man who just moved into the city - the one who wasn't supposed to know anyone and who accidentally found a ring. Sometimes you were slightly pissed at Hopper during those past days, but it was nothing that would erase the name off. When you came back home, when you watched Cheers or Magnum P.I. or some movie with your parents, the name always popped in your name again.

It was bugging you off so much, that on Friday morning, you just straight up went to Hopper's little dungeon which you haven't visited in days. Of course, you must've waited until quarter to ten before that man actually showed up and another half an hour before he settled down and was ready to do some actual work. He was just doing some paperwork, that was the first time you've seen him actually working before he looked at you after you coughed a bit.

"How can I help you, Millie?" - He asked and leaned his back into the chair, taking a sip of his coffee. He couldn't be bothered more at that same exact minute, but you seemed to be thinking about something and if it was serious, Hopper should hear what was it.

"I just... I have a feeling and I would like to talk to you about it. Would you mind? It will be only a minute, I swear." - You pointed at the big, plushy chair, holding a yellow fold in your palm. Hopper nodded, furrowing at the paperwork in front of him, closing the fold up. You opened up the fold with your thoughts written down on a piece of paper. - "There was some marriage fraud reported in Indianapolis, just a month ago."

Hopper hummed and noded so you knew that you can continue with telling him what's going on. You actually made some research on that topic, but there really weren't many sources that you could read through.

"Do you think it could be possible that the fraudster is in Hawkins?" - You asked Hopper. You were serious, but Hopper was clearly fighting to keep his face straight from that point on. - "What lead you to this conclusion? Just curious, kiddo."

"Well... The new guy came on Monday with the golden ring. Mark Summers. He's new, he's supposed to be a total stranger in here, isn't he?" - You asked Hopper and with a slight smirk, he nodded, lighting up a cigarette. - "He was on a dinner in the pancake bistro near Maple street a few days ago. With a tanned lady. It was some wild tan. Californian, Floridian, perhaps. He's supposed to be living all alone in Mr. Black's apartment near the furniture store in the downtown."

At that moment, Hopper finally grunted and let go of his serious persona. He whispered a quiet Jesus before giving you a look. - "Do you even know how dating works? Do you have at least any idea about that?"

"Do I look like I'm five, Sir?" - You stood up, closing up the fold again, pressing it closer to your chest. - "Let me look into it. I'll send a telegram to Indianapolis for closer information on the suspect, I'll just give it a try." - You begged Hopper with a serious face. - "You told me that you're pissed about me not telling you about what I'm doing. Now I'm asking for a helping hand." - You said seriously. Hopper puffed out some smoke, closing his eyes and exhaling slowly.

"If it doesn't work, you owe me a bottle of booze, kiddo." - Hopper told you, picking up the phone, dialing a number from the list he had on his desk. Was he really dialing the Indianapolis police department? Did he trust you with your suspicion? Or was it so he could make fun of you later? Without thinking too much about the consequences, it was pretty good to know that Hopper was willing to put his trust into you. Or at least a bit of it.

"And if it works, you owe me a bottle of Sriracha sauce and quesadillas." - You answered with a small smile, Hopper waving you off when the phone connected. You couldn't see that, but it made him grin at your back. Witty and always ready to play, that was what you were like. A good irony sparring partner when Hopper was in a mood to do so.

The Indianapolis police sent you the file right away - it was delivered just hours after you called them in an express mail, so Hopper must've been really persuasive. And there was everything they had in the crime shows you always watched. The sketch of how the suspect should look like, what he was wearing, the backstory he had, his previous names, there was even a slight description of his car and the old car plate. A lot of things were already lining up. That face was oddly familiar to you already.

You gave yourself a weekend to think about all of that. Was Summers really that dumb to show at the office literally the first day? Or was he smart enough to laugh directly to your face? Was it even him?

In the evening, you decided that you needed to take a fucking break. You needed to go on a walk, so you decided to take some takeaway food and then go to the movies. Just to relax for a minute.

Who would've thought that it actually helps you? But indeed, it did. You were just standing in the queue to pick a hotdog when you saw them. The lady who lost the ring. And who was that with her? Your little bird, Mr. Summers. You screwed the hotdog and followed them when they walked out of the cinema. You kept the right distance to not being noticed, following them through the city for a while.

They were chatting, laughing, walking with their fingers entwined. Chief's voice was still asking you if you know something about the whole dating thing, but you just let your instincts lead you forward. And then it struck you - the exact same type of car described in the police file. The same color, same distributor... Everything was checking. Only the car plate was different, but that was understandable. He wasn't that dumb.

The mysterious woman, fake name, the face in the file... It was lining up. Hopper had trusted you with this one and you succeeded. When you were sure that they won't see you, you ran to the nearest telephone booth. You found Hopper's telephone number on the list, immediately dialing it. You were nervously tapping your foot to the ground, praying Hopper for picking up. When you heard I'm probably doing something incredible right now for the tenth time, you told yourself that you have to do something different. You called Mr. Black.

"Hello, it's Kent Black on the phone, what do you need?" - The old man's voice could be heard through the phone in the next minute. You breathed in a bit too fast with excitement before you continued.

"Hey, Mr. Black. Mrs. Y/L/N from the Hawkins PD is calling, may I speak to Mr. Summers? Is he there?" - You asked innocently, as calmly as you could. You needed to keep reminding yourself of what your goal was. You couldn't say Mr. Black that he has a suspect in his small apartment, you needed to play it really clever. Of course, that motherfucker wasn't there and you knew, but you needed to progress with small steps at a time.

"No, sweetheart, he's not. Do you want me to tell him something when he comes back?" - Mr. Black asked you in a really pleasant tone.

"Oh, actually yes. It's about that ring he found? We forgot to ask him to sign up a document for us and Chief Hopper is very persistent about having his bureaucracy done right, so, could he come to the station tomorrow around eleven o'clock?" - You asked sweetly and put another quarter to the machine so Mr. Black wouldn't hear that you're actually calling him from the telephone booth. When you were done with that call, you tried to dial Hopper again... And again... And again.

You didn't know what he's doing, if he's drunk and drugged or if he's beating up someone again, but you told yourself that Hopper should go screw himself after the fifteenth fucking call.

You got the guy. You really got the guy. The excitement was so huge that you barely slept and went to the office almost half an hour earlier just to have everything done by the time Hopper shows up. The other day, you ran after Hopper as soon as he entered the building at 10:05, following him around for a while before he sat to his chair.

"What has gotten into you today, kiddo? Jesus." - Hopper huffed out angrily before he sat down to the table, eating the cake you've baked. He was looking like a fucking piece of shit - your suspicion was right. He was drinking his fucking ass off again.

"Chief, you should think about where to buy Sriracha, because I got the guy." - You put the papers on his desk with a bang, looking him in the eyes. - "The sketch, car, his described behavior... It all checks out. I'm sure of that."

"And where do you have him, then?" - Hopper asked coldly, leaning his back to the chair. He wasn't even in the mood to think about another female name starting with M that morning. He knew very well what was your name, he was just lazy to call you with it. He also found pretty damn funny to make you pissed. - "Doesn't seem like you have the suspect to me, kiddo."

"He'll come around eleven o'clock. You'll need to interrogate him, but I swear to you, it's the guy." - You stood up to leave the office before he could say anything more. And when you didn't see it, Hopper actually nodded and smiled - you were pretty damn clever. Way more intelligent than he originally thought.

And he needed to say that indeed, your suspicion was damn right. After the guy came, he locked him in his office and after just half an hour of playing the really bad cop, no matter how illegal it might seem to be, Mr. Summers, now actually Mr. Lockwood, confessed. He was really easy to break, he didn't even think that you could know who he is or that you would connect two dots. He was clever, yes, he was also a snake, but he wasn't brave at all. He was shaking like a little bitch by the time he was leaving Hopper’s office.

Hopper told your parents really soon and your mother started to cry immediately. She was really proud of you - her baby girl helped with solving a crime. She made you your favorite dish that night, making you spill out everything. When you came to the office on Wednesday, Hopper was already there and he came to your desk as soon as you sat down.

First, he told you that the man was actually traveling around for some time - he already stole money from six old ladies. He was actually for a longer time Hawkins, choosing his prey before he broke into her house to steal the ring. The poor woman was a widow who was living alone, so it was actually pretty easy to win her affection. The woman who was on the dinner with him was Jasmine, his long-time partner, and his partner in crime. No matter how dumb it sounded in the start, you were actually right and he needed to say that. And also, he had a promise to keep. The guy was already taken to Massachusetts, where he was originally from, and they promised you to hold him jailed for a long, long time after the trial.

"You have time later by any chance?" - He asked with a completely uninterested face. It was hard to actually say if Hopper could feel any emotion at that moment, but he seemed to be extremely apathetic. The thing you didn't know that its almost another year since Sara has died and he was out of Tuinal again - and he couldn't send you there, because Mrs. Sinclair wouldn't give you any other package for Hopper.

"Today?" - You asked with confusion. The coffee was already brewed and the donuts were already bought, which was a thing you didn't know Hopper took care of instead of you. The food was there every morning precisely at the same time every day, which was actually pointing out to how much you were trying your best to do the job well. Now, it was your damn time to take a moment to relax. Hopper took care of almost most of the things earlier that morning. Slowly, he nodded, still staring off to the distance. - "Yeah. What do you need, Sir?"

"I have a surprise for you. Just wait for me here until I come back in the evenin', alrite?" - Hopper put his significant hat off before he turned around and left to the office. And you wanted to pat your shoulder because he hadn't called you by a made-up name ever since.

[asheewrites]

Rich Secretaries (named Jeff Fulton)

„Order denied,“ Jeff snarled, seconds after the crashing door made a dent in the wall. The plaster still trickled down.

Richard Dickenson slowly turned, leaning against the railing he slouched on before. The storm in 500 meters height apparently doing his hair favours. He looked amused of all things and leaned back, slightly slouching backwards. With a chuckle, he said: “You deny a direct order, mister Fulton? May I inquire about the sudden doubts?”

He looked like nothing was wrong. He looked like the world was at peace and like he hadn’t just- “You cancelled the deal! You cancelled the appointment! So the deal will fall through. If you don’t show up and convince them one last time, the last months were for nothing. I know that. You know that. And this is the third time you had a lapse in judgement! Leaving your phone with sound. Disappearing from meetings. Bad enough. But this. It will cost millions!”

With something like a growing smile, he looked towards the sky and his hand made a ‘what of it?’ gesture. And shrugged.

Kch.

Looking him over, he still had the bloody keys in is hand. A chicken nugget package on the key ring. The bloody thing already left dents in his hand, he held it so often.

Gritting his teeth, Jeff frowned and stared at his boss: “Can I be frank, Mr. Dickenson?”

“Sure, Frank,” he chuckled and looked at Jeff again, still amused, for some godawful reason.

“May I be sincere and honest with you, so our future working relationship can function without anything making it difficult?” Jeff said, voice level now.

At least that made him pause for a moment. Mister Dickenson smoothed out his features and tilted his head, then straightened up and nodded: “Certainly. You earned it after almost 18 months. Please, speak freely, no repercussions”

Jeff took a deep breath, then shook his head: “Mister Dickenson. This… relationship you seem to have. Your work suffers for it. Not only your work, honestly. Whenever that jingle sounds you immediately take out the phone and you always snap it closed. Your answers are almost snappy for a minute, too. Whoever it is, they make you unhappy more often than they make you happy. They apparently gave you their keys. Big deal. You never have time to go there. You know that, they know that. Just go pick up someone else. We both know for a fact there is a queue”

He tilted his head in the other direction - ‘hmm’-ing, rubbing his chin, the other arm, at his side, still clutching the keys too hard. Tsk.

“… how very… observant of you,” Mr. Dickenson said, looking at Jeff with an expression he had not worn before, at least not in his presence. For the first time, he was examined in return. Jeff wasn’t sure if it was a good feeling.

Gritting his teeth, Jeff pressed out: “Well. You are also hurting your hand with those keys. Maybe letting them – and their owner - go… is better for you?”

Richard looked at the fist containing the keys, almost curious. And opened his hand to examine his palm, rubbing the red lines and dangling the keys the key ring, he said: “Ah, you’re right again” and smiled.

“Ah,” Jeff smiled. And took his PDA out. “Good! Then we can get back on track and I can immediately delete the-“

“Heh. Not the letting go. But I do need to take better care of my hands. Not least of all since you are rather attracted to them, aren’t you?”

Jeff stopped writing. What. What? His ears heated up. This was very unprofessional. This was not at all the topic of discussion, either! “Excuse me?” He fixated him with a stare. Really, now.

Richard Dickenson took a breath. A small smile spread on his face and when he looked up from his hand to fixate on Jeff, he looked… relaxed. Kind. And… something Jeff couldn’t put his finger on. “You wouldn’t have suggested a rebound if you weren’t at least hopeful. New distractions wouldn’t help. But if it was you… no appointment would be missed anymore, would they?” He spoke softly, not even mocking, and while Jeff stared, he took a step towards him, hands in pockets now, looking those five centimetres down “So, you are offering?”

Jeff was sure that not only his ears were warm now. And he already moved a foot back, when he suddenly set his jaw and held his PDA to the side: “If… if that is what it takes, I’ll- I’ll-“

Richard reached for the other’s arm. And held his thumb to his pulse point. Jeff’s pulse was way too fast. And maybe his hand was shaking, too. So Richard’s gaze wandered from the hand to Jeff’s face and he breathed out, slowly. And now Jeff could see how he looked. He looked-

“I am sorry. I didn’t think you’d feel anything more than lust for me”

Jeff shook his hand free and now did take a step back, frowning: “How old are you? You… you don’t look older than me, but you are old”

He took a step back as well, leaning back against the railing again, smiling now, a little… sheepish? What e

“Haaah… I think you earned a few answers, mh?” When Jeff glared back at him, Richard chuckled. And looked a bit more like himself. “Should I be ‘sincere and honest with you, so our future working relationship can function’?”

The secretary’s frown deepened: “… sure? Yeah. Sure. Tell me!”

After taking a breath, Richard… started speaking: “Mmmh. So, first. My compliments to you. You really are very observant. You actually are the most observant assistant I had up to now. None of the others came even close to interpreting my mood, so congratulations, really”

Jeff continued staring, raising an annoyed eyebrow: “Compliments get you nowhere, today”

“It’s not for me, Mr. Fulton, it’s a compliment for you. There are too few genuine compliments in our line of work. This was one. Even if you stumbled on the time I was most easy to read, it’s still impressive. And ‘today’, really? You admit to the crush?” He looked amused again.

If his skin had allowed it, he would be red as a tomato at this point. Even his neck felt like it was burning: “It does not influence my work ethic or efficiency”

“Oh, I think it does… positively,” Richard looked for three seconds before he apparently did not want to torture him anymore. And looked away, to say: “Yet… as flattering as it is – it will give my already impressive ego another boost, believe me – I can and will not entertain the option. It would not be fair to you. And currently… I do try to be there for someone. As hard as it may be”

“But hey aren’t making you happy,” and that was the entire point, was it not?

Richards eyes returned to Jeff and the latter almost stumbled, but Richard answered: “… not fair to point it out so clearly,” he exhaled, “It’s true, of course. Most of the time, I’m miserable. It’s disheartening to be barely tolerated and always five seconds away from getting thrown out or inevitably rejected.”

“Then why would you do that?!” Richard made even less sense than usual.

“Because hope is important. And I shouldn’t have any. But instead, they don’t. And they ae supposed to be a beacon. And… do you know how it feels to light a beacon? Or find one? When you’re lost? Giving hope is the greatest gift there is. It’s the only one, actually. And it’s their job. It’s time someone returned the favour. They’ll likely reject me, when they re-find their own hope. But that’s life. I’m used to it. For now, though. I try to be there. Maybe I’ll need a crowbar to get them to open their heart again, but I’ll try my damndest”

“… this is bullshit and you are blind. What the hell. This mystery-lover has you convinced they are oh-so-special and you drop everything to be by their side? What nonsense. Hell, the should be thankful, if it’s their job, that you believe in them and give them a break. Seriously. This is awful. Just drop them”

His old eyes looked at me again. For a long moment. And then he crossed his arms in front of his chest, raising an eyebrow: “… so you would take a chance, if it meant you could better yourself? If it was a great opportunity and the only thing you might lose is face?”

“Tch. In a heartbeat!” This was the entire reason why their business model worked.

“Alright.” He pushed himself away from the railing and started walking towards the elevator-door, “Then I revise my order. The appointment on Wednesday is not cancelled”

“Finally you see reason, I’ll gladly take-“

“You are the most knowledgeable about the subject anyway. Everything I know, you told me. So you’ll lead the meeting. You can hold the presentation in front of me if you want critique beforehand. So. Understood?” He had his hand on the elevator-button.

“… what?!” The PDA fell out of his hand.

The button got pressed. “You’ll lead the meeting on Wednesday. It’s either that… or it’ll cost us millions and there’ll be lost time to account for. So, I think this will be a great opportunity”

Jeff stared and looked toward the floor, trying to see or find anything, thoughts racing, then he said: “I am not the presenter. This is ridiculous! And… and you didn’t even give me any information! You weren’t frank and… you can’t just give me this task!”

The elevator door ding-ed open and Richard walked in, smirking: “I just did. And if you want more information than I gave you now… you have to impress me again. Wednesday is a perfect opportunity,” he indicated a good bye with two fingers, “I’ll see you soon. Good luck!”

And the doors closed. Only the metal doors of the elevator, the door of the stairs and the dent in the wall still kept him company.

Fuck.

[softest-cinnamon-roll]

Reddie with “I missed you.” and “Kiss me.”?

This was super fun to write so thank you for the prompt!!! It’s taken from this list 

AO3 link 

It was like the universe had been testing him for some reason and Eddie wasn’t sure how much more of it he could take. After finally getting together with his long term crush and best friend, Richie Tozier, Eddie was finally looking forward to spending the entire summer with his friends, and spending time with Richie as boyfriends. They even had a plan set out between them all, as well as all the things they were going to do over the course of the summer.

Then his mother had to go and announce that he was to spend the whole 10 weeks of his summer vacation with his aunt in Michigan. There was no arguments, Eddie was going and that was final. There was a part of him that hoped it was just a weird coincidence, but Eddie knew deep down that his mother must have known about him and Richie, and this was her master plan at keeping them apart for the summer.

Of course, Richie was pissed, as were the rest of the losers. Eddie’s departure put a dent in their summer plans, but Eddie assured them that things will be easier now, as they had an even number. He said all this with a huge smile, even though he was dying inside. His summer plans were screwed and he’d have to spend ten weeks doing old people things that were extremely boring.

His suspicions were proven to be correct the second he touched down in Michigan. His aunt was there to collect him, the spitting image of his mother and ushered him to the car. On their way to her house, she explained the numerous rules in place for his visit. He wasn’t to watch television after nine, phone calls home were only to last fifteen minutes and he was to be in bed by ten.

The ten weeks dragged by, and Eddie found himself wanting to go back to school. At least then he would get to see his friends and spend time with his boyfriend. He divided up his call time between his mother and Richie as well as the occasional call to the losers, but his mother always sounded bitter when he didn’t call her every day.

During his calls with Richie, he described all the fun they were having, at Eddie’s insistence. He described how they went swimming to the quarry, or went to see the new blockbuster movie at the Aladdin. Eddie felt his stomach churn with jealousy at each word Richie spoke, and he had to hide his tears from his aunt. If she found out he was crying, she might have blocked all calls to his friends all together.

“It’s not fair, Rich…I wish I was home with you. All our summer plans…” Eddie whispered one day, about five weeks into his visit. His aunt was out shopping so he got to spend a little more time on the phone to Richie.

“I know baby,” Richie breathed back down the line and all Eddie wanted to do was reach through the phone and grab him, holding on tight. “But you’ll be back the night before the Derry Fair, so we can still go together. We can still play all those rigged games and ride the Ferris Wheel.”

Eddie sighed, but nodded, even though Richie couldn’t see. The Derry Fair was his silver lining in all this mess. He would be home in time to experience it with his friends and that was what kept him going for the rest of the five weeks he remained with his aunt.

Finally, the day came for him to travel home and his aunt drove him to the airport, planting a huge sloppy kiss on his cheek and reminding him to let her know he arrived in Bangor safely. He nodded with a tense smile, edging further and further away from her until he couldn’t see her anymore. Scared that she would pull him back for another week, Eddie sprinted off towards security, breathing a sigh of relief when he was on the other side.

Through security. I’m almost home! - E

Can’t wait to see your cute face, Eds. I’m deprived! - R

Beep beep, Richie. - E

Can’t wait to see you too. - E

The flight back home went by quicker than Eddie expected, which was a good thing, and soon he was landing in Bangor and collecting his suitcase from the baggage claim. When he walked through into the arrivals lounge, his mother was waiting for him with her overprotective smile and Eddie deflated.

“Eddie-bear! You’re home!” She cooed, pulling him into a hug and planting a kiss on his forehead. She pulled back and held him out at arms length, clearly inspecting him for some reason or another. “You look pale, and tired. Do we need to make a visit to the emergency room?”

At the mention of the hospital, Eddie perked up and shook his head violently, “No ma, no need to go to the hospital! I’m not sick, I’m just fine. I’m sleepy from the long flight. A good night’s rest and I’ll be good as new.”

His mother pursed her lips, and Eddie could see the wheels in her head turning before she finally nodded and they headed out to the parked car. “Alright Eddie-bear, but maybe you should stay at home for a few days, I don’t want you getting sick before school starts.”

And there it was…the icing on the cake. His mother knew about the Derry Festival and she also knew that Eddie would want to go with his friends. Not wanting to miss out on the last chance of summer fun, Eddie put his foot down. “I’m going to the Derry Festival tomorrow with my friends Ma. I’ve missed them all summer and I’d like to have some fun with them before we go back to school.”

She clearly wasn’t happy with that, but there wasn’t a valid reason for her to keep him indoors, so she relented. “Fine, but you have to be home by eleven, after the firework display. Understood?”

Eddie nodded his head, exhaling in relief. He understood, and was perfectly fine with that.

* * * * *

The following afternoon, Eddie got himself dressed for the day before rushing out of his house to meet his friends, not giving his mother a chance to change her mind. He saw Ben first, who was waiting outside the Aladdin, looking at his phone and Eddie let out a scream of his name.

“Ben!” Ben turned around and his face broke into a wide smile.

“Eddie!” They met in the middle, hugging each other tightly and Eddie had to resist the urge not to cry. When they pulled away, Eddie told Ben all about his awful summer, until the other losers were spotted from over the hill. As much as Eddie would like to have said he spoke to all his friends first, he didn’t. The second his eyes landed on Richie, he was off like a rocket.

The second he was close enough, Eddie jumped into Richie’s arms, wrapping his arms and legs around him like an Octopus, not planning on letting go. “Oh my god, I’ve missed you!”

Richie chuckled into his neck, holding him close, clearly returning the passion of ‘not letting him go’. “I’ve missed you too Eds, so freaking much.”

A clear of a few throats caused them to break apart and Richie sat Eddie back down on his feet, lacing their fingers together instead. “Sorry guys…”

“You’re forgiven, but come on, I’d like to see the fair!” Bev grinned, taking Ben’s hand and walking ahead of the others. Eddie blinked…when did that happen? Richie seemed to sense his confusion and leaned down to whisper as they walked.

“Last week, during a game of truth or dare. Finally, right?” He laughed and Eddie chuckled along with him. When they reached the fair, it was already busy with families, teenagers and adults alike. All the losers went their separate ways then, making a promise to meet up for the fireworks at the end of the day.

Richie tugged on Eddie’s hand, leading him towards the stalls where they got some candy floss and attempted to win some prizes at darts and other games. It was almost like Eddie had never been away, how comfortable they were with each other, and soon they found themselves in the line for the Ferris Wheel.

Luckily, at that point there wasn’t much of a queue, so they were seated in no time and being sent up to the top. When it came to a stop, right at the peak of the wheel, Eddie looked around at all of Derry and for a second he thought it looked rather peaceful. He turned around to voice his thoughts to Richie but when he did, he realised that Richie was staring right at him.

“That’s not creepy at all,” Eddie teased and Richie nudged his side playfully. “Seriously though, do I have something on my face?”

Richie shook his head, and in a moment of softness, he reached a hand out to tuck some of Eddie’s hair behind his ear that his blown astray with the wind. “No…no you’re just…you’re beautiful and I’ve missed you.”

Now Eddie’s heart was hammering in his chest. He took in their situation and setting. It was almost considered romantic in every high school cliche movie. Eddie wasn’t a fan of them, not really, but right in that moment, with Richie staring at him, he wanted nothing more than for them to kiss.

“Kiss me?” Eddie voiced, his breathing a little light and he exhaled as Richie moved his hand to cup his cheek, bringing their lips together in what would be their second, but best, kiss so far. Richie’s lips tasted like the candy floss, sweet and strawberry and they were so damn soft that Eddie melted into the Ferris Wheel seat like goo.

So Eddie might have missed his summer with his friends and Richie. He might have not gotten to do all the things that he wanted to do, but as long as he never had to trade this moment up? He wasn’t going to complain.

* * * * *

taglist

@richietoaster @tozier-boy @eds-trashmouth @fucking-reddie @strange-reddie-loser @eds-kas @propertyofthelosersclub @its-stranger-than-you-think @yes-dillman-yes @totaltozier @reddietofall @reddietofight @reddie-to-fight   @hypnoidvoid @imeddie @reddie-eddie-spaghettie @bitchbrak @reddieways @maximusfraker @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @thejadeazalea @reddie-eddie-spaghetti @halfway-happy353 @ellomello16 @lili-back-from-the-dead @tinyarmedtrex @cacti-cool @inthebreadbinwrites @kat-ships-everything @takeourpure @lo-v-ers @mrs-vh @studpuffin @aizeninlefox @reddie-for-anything @adhdtozier @trashmouthtozierr @richietoizer @girasol-eddie @bi-bi-richie @honeybeehanlon @mars-14 @hawkinsbabe @reddiesetandgo @marsisaplanetyall @xandertheundead @sedanleystanley

[marriedthedark]

Ladybug Week: Day 2 - Bedtime Stories

Modern AU, 1.4k words

Ruby blindly groped the surface of her bed for the box of tissues she was currently mowing through. Her nose seemed to be a never ending stream of snot and suffering as she cracked open her eyes to stare hopelessly at the ceiling fan above.

No doubt about it. She was sick.

"Hhnnhng," she groaned as she blew her nose for what must have been the thousandth time that evening. It was just her luck that she would come down with something the same day Yang had left for a road trip with her fiancé, Weiss.

She couldn't call her. Knowing Yang she would turn the car around the moment she got the message and go back to take care of her. Even if she did decide to stay on the road, Ruby knew she would remain an anxious mess for the remainder of the trip knowing her sister was home alone with nobody to take care of her. She was going to have to face a long evening with nothing but a growing pile of used tissues and the gentle whirr of the ceiling fan to keep her company.

Unless...

Only her hand moved as Ruby again groped around the bed; this time for her cellphone. She squinted in protest at the bright light emitting from the screen as she began thumbing through her contacts in the otherwise dark room.

"Hey, Blake? I don't mean to bug you, but I think I got the flu, and Yang already left with Weiss. Do you think you can, oh I don't know, make sure I don't die. Or something."

~~

About an hour later soft knock on the door stirred Ruby out of her light slumber. She knew Blake was coming and yet the hour of mental preparation did nothing to ease her into leaving the warm confines of her bed.

”Coming,” she managed to garble out as she began hobbling to the entryway of the apartment. Sure enough Blake was waiting on the other side of the door, a rather large paper bag hanging from her arm.

”I’m sorry I took so long. I made a couple stops on the way here.”

”Oh don’t worry about it,” Ruby drawled out as she sniffed back another onslaught of mucus from pouring out of her nose. “I think I’m just gonna go back to b-bed.”

“Do you need any help? You sound awful.” Blake moved to the kitchen where she began removing a container of fresh chicken soup from her bag.

“Oh, that came out a little harsher than I intended,” she lightly scolded herself.

”No no no you’re fine. I’m just glad you’re here, Blake. Cause if you weren’t then Yang might have come back to a corpse in the bed surrounded by a wall of tissues."

The corners of Blake’s mouth turned up slightly in a small smile.

"That won’t happen as long as I’m around. Remember, I’m the same person who had to take care of Yang during one of her infamous hangovers."

Now it was Ruby’s turn to smile. “Yeah well I can’t really blame her for last time, with Weiss accepting her proposal and all."

Blake laughed at the memory of a loopy Yang gushing to her about how Weiss was practically crying when she pulled the ring out of her pocket.

“Agreed. I’m really happy for them.”

With that, Blake began to walk towards the bedroom, a steaming hot bowl of soup balanced between her hands.

“You should try and eat something. I hope this diner’s soup is good.”

Soon after the two girls made their way to the bedroom. As Ruby enjoyed her soup, Blake sat on the foot of the bed with a novel on her lap.

Once she had her fill, Ruby placed the bowl on her nightstand.

”Hey Blake, can you do me a teensy, tiny favor?”

“Of course.”

”Would it be stupid if I asked you to read me a bedtime story?” There was a hint of embarrassment in her voice.

Blake felt the tips of her ears warm at the request. While she adored reading in her own free time, she had never really read aloud to someone before. Still, the sight of a wide-eyed, runny-nosed Ruby was one that could not be resisted.

“Um, sure. I think I have some nice short stories saved on my phone.”

She quickly pulled her phone from her pocket as she began navigating her list of saved stories.

“What are you in the mood for? Action? Romance?”

“Something happy. I’m doing enough of the sad depressing stuff already.”

Blake’s eyes narrowed affectionately at Ruby’s joke. Even when she was sick she still managed to say the cutest things.

“How does ‘The Girl and the Beast’ sound?”

Ruby’s face visibly brightened at the mention of the title.

"It sound’s great! Please tell it to me!”

Blake grinned at Ruby’s elated reaction. God, this girl was so adorable. After dramatically clearing her throat, she began her narration

“Long ago there lived a girl named Mirana…”

As Blake told the tale of a young Mirana, a human princess who ran away in order to escape her royal duties and live alongside her white tiger, Bestia, she found herself becoming quite immersed in her narration duties. She donned on different voices for the characters and even acted out certain scenes she felt were “necessary.” Ruby couldn’t believe how much Blake was enjoying herself, and her heart fluttered in her chest at the notion that she was responsible for this joyful experience.

Further in the story, Mirana was soon cornered by the royal guards. Their mission was to return the defiant princess back to her family to assume her duties as heir. With her faithful pet at her side, Mirana and Bestia fought valiantly in an attempt to flee from their pursuers.

“Bestia reared on her hindlegs,” Blake described, “desperate to protect her princess from the selfish men who dare threaten her. But as she lunged towards Lord Segan…”

Blake’s voice halted in her throat as she was met with a startling realization. She remembered reading this story before, and the ending was the very opposite of happy. She recalled how Bestia soon dies from the arrow of a guard hiding among the tree tops, forcing Mirana to surrender to the royal guard and be dragged back to her palace. This time without her dear pet.

“Blake, you ok?” Ruby’s weak voice interrupted her inner turmoil. “I wanna know what happens."

“Y-yes. Sorry, I just lost my place is all.”

Blake straightened her posture. There was no way she was going to disappoint Ruby with this tragic story. There was only one thing she thought she could do.

Well, lets hope my improv skills are as good as my narrating skills.

“Bestia tackled him, growling mere inches from the Lord’s petrified face…”

To Blake’s surprise (and relief) she found her own version of the story coming to her quite easily. Rather than being captured, Mirana managed to mount Bestia and fight her way out of the ambush. Soon the duo made their way deeper into the forest and were met with a family of manticores. Moved by Bestia and Mirana’s acts of selfless bravery to protect the other, the manticores blessed Bestia with her own pair of wings so that they may have an easier time fleeing from unwanted intruders.

“…With her new pair of wings, Bestia and Mirana flew off together, free to travel the world where none may spy on them. And they both lived long, happy lives. The end."

Blake glanced up from her phone to see Ruby’s reaction, only to be met with soft snores and a sleeping form, complete with a trail of drool connecting Ruby’s mouth to her red pillowcase.

Blake covered her mouth as she tried to stifle a laugh. She couldn’t have imagined a more “Ruby” way of falling asleep no matter how hard she tried. She figured however, this was her queue to move out to the sofa out in the living room.

As Blake gathered her things, her eyes once again fell on Ruby’s sleeping form. A strange, fuzzy feeling welled up inside her as she continued to gaze at the adorable (albeit snotty) girl in front of her.

Before she gave herself the chance to think twice about it, Blake made her way over to Ruby’s side, brushing aside her mess of red hair in order to place a gentle kiss against her temple.

“Sweet dreams, Ruby."

A/N: Sorry this is so late askldfnkjsabf I really wanted to get this out before the day ended uwu

[thewincestgospel]

Someone sent me this...

Hi, do you have any recommendations for weecest fics? Long, plotty ones? Your recs are some of the best. Thank you for your service. ♡

And I was like

But then life kept happening and I had to put it to the side and I was like....

But then I finally got some time and I started composing my list but then I accidentally posted it before I was done then it wouldn't let me save it to queue so I could finish it so I had to copy it, delete it and start again. Then it wouldn’t save on my cell or tablet after two days of trying I said fuck it and just waited until I got back home (I travel for work) to do it off my laptop.

So so sorry to the Anon who sent me this request.

I hope the long list makes up for my tardiness.

Weecest Recs

All the Way by  BenLMoore   A family court orders that Sam and Dean be separated because they're too close. These people don't realize, there's no keeping the Winchesters boys apart.              

And I Have Asked to Be Where No Storms Come by candle_beck Family is the first to break your heart.

The Ballad of the Invisible Boy  by dollylux   This is a story of adolescence. This is a love letter for the slow burn, for Led Zeppelin, for the 90s. This is the first of two sets of stories about how Sam and Dean didn’t fall in love. They never had to. It was always there, this desperation between them, like a real, breathing thing. When they came together, it was inevitable. As sure as continents colliding, as the phases of the moon and the life and death of stars. This isn’t a love story, but it’s a story of love.              

Birthday  by   helena_s_renn, Helenas_bitch, orphan_account     Sam turns fifteen two weeks after Dean ended their relationship. In order to celebrate Sam's birthday, Dean decides to get him laid – with a girl.        

Crown and Anchor Me (or let me sail away) by Sena Sam Winchester is fifteen years old, at yet another new high school in yet another state, he doesn’t get along with his distant, distracted father, he’s figuring out that he likes guys just as much as he likes girls, his clothes never fit and his limbs ache at the joint ever since his growth spurt started, he has to study for the PSAT and, oh yeah, he’s a little bit in love with his brother, Dean, who’s taken a break from hunting monsters to work at a local garage for minimum wage.

Crush by BewareTheIdes15 Dean looks at him different now, Sam just can't figure out what the difference is.

Everlong by Lux Aeterna  Sam and Dean’s feelings come to a head a year before Sam leaves for college. They struggle with the implications and complications of their relationship, but no matter where they go or what they do, it’s impossible to forget.

The Good Days  by  Danceswithfiends 'His stomach jumps at these small glimpses of Dean, and he tries to push it down, but thoughts of Dean bending him over in the back seat of the car flood his brain anyway. Sam swallows heavily and looks away, trying to focus intently on the road. If this doesn’t stop soon, Sam is going to go absolutely nuts.'The sexcapades of Sam and Dean's relationship in its early days and the days that follow.    

Hard-Won Inches by BewareTheIdes Dean’s developed this thing lately where he likes to touch Sam’s mouth while he has the amulet in there, fingers tracing so gently it almost tickles, around the little pouty spot where the cord disappears between Sam’s lips. It’s kind of weird, but probably not weirder than the fact that Sam’s ten and still sucks on his brother’s necklace to go to sleep at night.

A History of Love  by lyryk (s_k) When Sam is sixteen, he’s gotten pretty good at hiding what he’s been feeling for his brother for the last couple of years. But the most dangerous thing is not Dean finding out how Sam feels—it’s what happens when their father finds out.

The Hottest Days  by WevyrDove John is away on a hunting trip when Sam experiences his first heat cycle. Dean panics and makes Sam lock himself up in his room in a desperate attempt to keep temptation at bay.

Incubus by Ithiel_Dragon, virtualpersonal   Sam and Dean are left alone in Georgia in the middle of the summer while John is away on a hunt, and unfortunately the brothers haven't been getting along lately.  Sam's moodiness, and Dean's temper (not to mention his crush on his own brother) are not helping matters.  Things get even more complicated when Dean is attacked by an Incubus.              

A Life Made of Nights by BewareTheIdes Dean’s always loved Sammy more than anything, but what happens when brotherly love turns into something more? (A timeline of Sam and Dean’s relationship, starting from the time Sam’s a baby)

Lonely Harmonies  by Linden Dean maybe gets why John insists on separate beds, these days. 

More Than A Taste By BewareTheIdes After school, Dean finds out what Sam had to say about walking in on him

Never Again by made.of.bees   Dean walks in on Sam having some alone time and decides there are better things to do than leave. Sam freaks out but makes the best of the situation. After all, it's just one time, right? As long as it doesn't become a habit or anything...

Of Hot Showers and Female Intuitions by  cyndrarae  Sam‘s journey through teenage angst and sexual experimentation leads him to an irrefutable truth… he loves his big brother more than he should.

One Love, One Bond  by  RudexAndxNotxGinger   Sam and Dean have a special relationship. And it all started when Sam hit puberty.     

The Only Thing By BewareTheIdes  Ok, look, there’s not a delicate way to say it; Sammy sucks Dean’s nipples.  

P A R A D I S E (Born to Die!Verse) This story follows the lives of two young brothers as they try to make it in a dark world. After an overdose threatens to tear them apart forever, Sam and Dean vow to never leave each other's side again and hit the open roads of the American West to live fast and free together. They fight and fuck like every day could be their last because one day it just might be.

Plausible Deniability by BewareTheIdes Dean get a little freaked out about his relationship with Sam, and a whole lot freaked out when calling it off gets Sam interested in some other guy.

Sam’s First Love by  JAYJEN11   Dean was Sam’s superhero, his protector, he taught him everything. It only made sense Sam loved him but then he thinks he fell in love with him and Dean had taught him everything else so why not this too? This is not a love story. This is real life and sometimes real life sux.

Sam Liking Boys (And Dean)  by  stuck_as_sarah Titles pretty self-explanatory, just weecest thats pretty much a pwp. 

Sammy's Rule by Sammy_Rae22   John Winchester leaves his 12 and 16 year old sons for a hunt. While he is away Sam gets closer and closer to his brother, till he has to form a rule to control himself. That rule is to NEVER look at his brother like he is some sex lord. But what happens when things start to get a little out of control?                            

Sequelae  by candlejill After annihilating the boundaries between them, Sam and Dean both struggle to accept the change in their relationship. With Dean battling his guilt and Sam counting down the days until he’s able to put hunting in his past, they attempt to salvage what is left of their brotherly bond.

Note: Sequel to Situational Machismo

Situational Machismo by  candlejill  While on a hunt, Sam and John are hit with a mysterious spell causing them to switch bodies. Sam is devastated at the repercussions that could affect his future. The Winchesters are left with the monumental task of figuring out how to change back. Dean, previously believed to be unaffected, begins to have new troubling thoughts towards his brother causing him to think that maybe he did not escape the spell untouched after all.

Note: There is no sexual relationship between Sam and Dean while Sam is in John's body.

So It Goes by  jenajasper Dean would always remember the first time               

Teen Antichrist Master List by smallcaps Crack!AU teen antichrist Sammy has horns and a tail…and a hammer!  Dean keeps his hands to himself.  Barely.

A Thousand Miles to Get There  by  alakewood   Dean's not quite sure when it happened, but somewhere along the line he and Sam started messing around – it started with chaste kisses and graduated to more physical expressions of their desire. And, at some point, he fell in love with his little brother. Now, while on a cross-country roadtrip with his family, in the deceptive privacy of their RV, Dean has to prove to Sam that going away to college isn't going to change how he feels.              

The Time Traveler’s Brother by AmyPond45 Dean’s life is turned upside down the night his mother dies. But that’s also the night a mysterious grown-up version of Dean’s brother first appears in his life. While Dean grows up, “Old Sam” is often there, especially when Dean’s father isn’t. As Dean learns what the future holds, he begins to question everything his father has taught him about who he is and what he is supposed to become. Can Dean find a way to save his little brother from his own future?

To The Edge and Over   by   paperstorm, slf630   Here’s the thing. Dean’s mostly perfect in Sam’s eyes. He’s beautiful inside and out – cocky, charming, brave, fiercely loyal, flawed and stubborn and annoying and amazing – and Sam’s so stupidly in love with him it isn’t even close to funny. And there’s no way in hell Dean can ever know.     

Two-Headed Boy  by dollylux Sam's life from sixteen to twenty-two years old. This is a story of the last days of innocence during a sweltering Southern summer when Sam is so in love with his brother, he can barely stand his touch. It's the pain between them through lies, through jealousy, through seeing each other with someone else. Theirs is a story of leaving and Stanford, of Dean feeling lost and Sam nearly losing himself without his brother. It's fire and reunion and a love never lost - ever-present and no longer deniable.

Under the Blanket by Colette_Capricious   Sam is relentless when he wants something. Dean is helpless in the face of Sam’s desires and this thing that is building between them. It can’t happen, it won’t happen. It’s wrong. But why isn’t John doing anything to stop it? Could there actually be something on this earth than John Winchester is afraid to face?  

Verses Like Yours and Mine by rivers_bend   Sam/Dean are regular brothers – no demon, no hunting, Mary’s alive – who fall in love with each other.  

[tetrakys]

Trois Allumettes - Chapter 13

Lysander’s route in MCL UL.

Chapters 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12

------

Chani and I parted the dusty velvet curtain and made our way inside the trailer.

A strong aroma of incense instantly hit my nostrils, the place was small and dark, lighted only by a few dozen candles laying around the room.

“Sit down, ladies.”

I was expecting to see a woman, so I was surprised to find a man in his forties. Wearing lots of make-up, he had a turban on his head and it looked like he’d found his clothes in a low-budget costume store.

Chani and I sat down, looking at each other amused.

“Can I ask as many questions as I want?”

“Yes dear,” the man replied to her, “as maaaany as you like.”

Chani laid the money on the table, without hesitation.

“When am I going to die?”

In clumsy theatrics, the fortune teller juggled his arms out in front of himself, twirling them around what looked like a tiny crystal ball.

“When the wind rises, your eyes will close. The seasons will stop forever. It won’t be tomorrow, it isn’t today, it won’t be in sixty years, but maybe before then.”

I tried as hard as I could not to laugh.

“Care to elaborate?”

“You’re still too young for that kind of question. Your grandmother would tell you to seize the day without worrying about the flowers on your grave, or about tomorrow… You should listen to Mary…”

Chani stood up quick.

The fortune teller stood up too, and was just about to withdrew behind a big curtain when he stopped. He turned around and looked at me serious.

“Beware of road traffic accidents.”

Then he left.

“Wait, I had more questions!” Chani called out, but he was already gone. We left the place slightly baffled.

A tall guy dragged a barrier in front of the trailer to keep us from going back.

“What’s wrong Chani?” I asked her, she looked a little nervous.

“Did you hear what he said about my grandmother? She used to say “Carpe Diem” to us all the time.”

“Well, yeah… but isn’t that the kind of thing all grandmothers say? Even what he said to me… so sudden and generic, like “look around when you cross the street”? Lots of theatrics and empty banalities, it’s something you could say to anyone.”

“But he even guessed her name!”

“Mary is a pretty common name though…”

“I don’t know, it’s still strange. I felt something weird, I have to go back.”

Chani sounded distressed, I was sad the guy had worried her so much, he was clearly a fraud.

“For now it’s closed, let’s go back to the others.”

 -------

The carnival was impressive, so many colours and lights… there was any attraction one could imagine, from the very obvious Ferris wheel and roller coaster, to some new games I’d never seen before. A whole area was dedicated to food, and I was getting hungry by simply walking between the stalls.

Lysander was holding my hand and I was incredibly happy, I hadn’t seen him the whole week, we were finally on holiday but he was still busy with his many commitments.

“Ouch… look at those queues,” Rosa grimaced, “I’m not sure how many attractions we’ll be able to get on.”

“I really want to go on the flying swings!” Priya said excited, “I have my own technique to make them fly even higher.”

“Perfect to feel sick. Count me out.” Morgan replied.

“I’d like to do something easy,” Rosa looked at Leigh unsure.

“Let’s divide and conquer, we can meet at the food truck in one hour?” Alexy suggested.

We walked between the attractions and small groups formed and took off on their own. Some headed to the Ferris wheel, others to the dark throwing booth. We were passing by the bumping cars when Castiel stopped looking at them pensive.

“Do you like bumping cars, Castiel?” I asked, joining him in front of the attraction.

“No… I mean, yes.” He sounded a little reticent, but after a small pause he kept talking. “I did it once with my father, when I was a kid. After a terrible experience where he left me alone on the roller coaster, we played this. It was his way to make amends. I enjoyed it, I know it’s lame…”

“It really isn’t,” I said understanding, Castiel had never had the best relationship with his parents, it was good he had a fond memory. “Let’s do it,” I smiled at him.

“Are you sure?” he smiled back, a little embarrassed.

“Of course.” I felt someone’s arm resting on my shoulders, and I tuned my head to see Lysander glaring at Castiel.

“We’re going on the bumping cars, want to come?”

For a moment he said nothing, just tightened his hold on me, pushing my body closer to him.

“Sure.”

The queue was short, thank God… because it felt incredibly awkward. I did most of the talking, Castiel was acting normal but I could tell he’d also figured out something was wrong. Lys was quieter than usual, talking only when directly addressed, his replies curt.

When it finally was our turn, we all took seat in a different car and waited for the game to start.

There were mostly teenagers, and some of them looked scary, I tightened my hold on the wheel, I was ready.

As soon as the music started I moved forward, the cars were pretty fast and bumped quite violently. I realised it a few seconds later, when someone bumped strongly into me from behind, I turned my head to find a smirking Castiel.

“Oh, it’s on!” I said laughing.

“Yeah, you wish…”

He couldn’t finish his sentence because Lys came out of nowhere, bumping so violently into his side, that the car was pushed to the other side of the rink.

“Lys!” I cried out.

“What?”

“It was a little too violent, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know what you mean, that’s the game,” he replied matter-of-factly and departed again.

I spent the next few minutes keeping an eye on Castiel and Lys while also trying to avoid as much as possible the crazy teenagers, who seemed determined to run through everybody on the rink. Lys and Castiel, though, seemed to be doing a perfectly good job at killing each other all by themselves.

I thought about the study session we had at Rosa and Leigh’s place a few days ago. Lys had acted strangely even then, and I didn’t know why. He’d arrived a little late and had found Castiel sitting next to me, he hadn’t said a word the whole evening. At the time I didn’t paid it too much attention, focusing on working on my thesis, but now it all started to make sense.

The game was just about to end, when I saw something that froze the blood in my veins.

Lys was so completely focused chasing up Castiel, that he didn’t notice one of the kids coming fast from behind. The impact was so violent that his car was pushed against one of the side pillars of the rink, and he hit his head against it.

For one millisecond everything froze.

The cars, the music, my heart, time itself… then I cried out his name and jumped to my feet, running towards him. Luckily the other cars had also stopped and everyone was running to check on him, who was lying immobile on the ground, partially still in his car.

I was the fist to get to him, and kneeled down, touching him, calling his name. I could hear people around shouting, someone asking if there was a doctor in the crowd.

“Lys… Lys…” I kept repeating like a mantra, caressing his face. My sight was blurred, and I realised I was crying.

Finally, after it felt like hours but were most likely just a few seconds, with a pained groan he opened his eyes.

“Lys!” I cried out excited, smiling. “How are you feeling?”

He looked at me with a vacant stare, and said something that made my heart crush in my chest.

“Who are you?”

I stared at him dumbfounded, my mouth open.

But after a moment, he shook his head, his eyes finally focusing on me, recognition in them.

“Candy…”

I hugged him tightly, my arms around his neck, his own coming to my back, uncertain.

“I was so scared…” I said, tears still running on my cheeks.

I felt someone gently patting on my shoulder. It was the nurse hired by the carnival, and I moved aside to let him visit Lysander.

In that moment I noticed Castiel, who wore my same shocked and distressed expression. He and the nurse helped Lysander getting to his feet, but he really didn’t need help, he kept repeating that he was fine, and didn’t need to go to the hospital.

“Come at least to the infirmary, so that I can visit you, head injuries are not something to take lightly.”

Castiel, Lys and I followed him, making our way across the attractions. We passed next to the fortune teller trailer, and a shiver ran down my spine.

The infirmary was close, and it took the nurse just a few minutes to check his scalp and his pupils.

“You’re probably going to have a bump on your head but, other than that, you should be fine. If you’re feeling dizzy or have a strong headache, please go to the nearest A&E.”

“Thank you,” Lys replied, and we all left the room, back to the carnival.

As soon as we got out, Lys and Castiel exchanged a knowing look and he slightly nodded.

“I’ll head first to the food truck, see you there.”

“Are you sure you feel up to join the others?” I asked worried once we were alone, “we could go back to the dorms, you should rest.”

“No Candy,” he said taking my hands, “I’m not going to ruin this evening for you any longer.”

“But Lys, it’s not your fault, it was an accident.”

“I’ve been acting like a jealous child the whole evening,” he said, confirming my doubts. “You don’t know how sorry I am, I feel so stupid. I know you feel only friendship for Castiel, you’ve told me more than once, but I know it’s not the same for him and I can’t help worrying. He’s my best friend, I shouldn’t act like this, when I told him about us, I could tell he wasn’t completely happy. But exactly because he’s my best-friend I know he would never make a pass at you while you’re my girlfriend.”

“Then why…” I tried to ask.

“I guess a part of me wonders what’s going to happen between you two when I’m back at the farm. I know he’s going on tour, but tours don’t last forever, he will be back at some point, while I…”

He lowered his eyes and his hold on my hands tightened, I didn’t know what to say, my heart felt heavy in my chest.

“Well, anyway, I apologise. My behaviour has been unforgivable. I won’t ruin your night any further, you were so happy to come to the carnival and spend the evening with everyone. And… we can spend some time together alone afterwards… if you’re still up to it?” he asked hopeful.

Of course I was up to it.

Putting aside gloomy thoughts about the future, we went to join the others, hand in hand, we reached the truck food.

We spend a pleasant couple of hours chatting and eating, by the time everyone was full it was past midnight.

Suddenly, I received a phone call from a number I didn’t recognise.

“Candy?” Kim’s voice said at the other hand of the call, “come quickly to the gym please. Alone.”

For the second time that evening I felt my blood freezing.

“It’s Nath, isn’t it?”

-----

Back to Chapter 12

Go to Chapter 14

[theassassinscape]

*Insert good title* We're Home

Hi all!! So, um, first thing I've written, had an idea for this for a while. Hope y'all enjoy and feedback is appreciated!!

Language, angst and fluff if you look hard enough. 2,153 words, I went all out.

Bucky Barnes X mutant!reader

(I don't know man ❤️ italics are flashbacks)

"I think I'll do it." Bucky said, his hand holding his glass of whiskey so hard his knuckles turned white.

"Go on, she looks like she's about to leave," Steve encouraged, looking over to you, "I think it's worth a shot." He said, while taking an actual shot. Bucky never understood why they'd go out drinking. It's not like they could get drunk from everyday alcohol; the only time they'd succeed in doing so was when Thor had the Asgardian Liquor on him, and after Thanos was gone and Loki was back, he had recovered and barely touched alcohol. So the duo weren't too familiar with the feeling.

"I can't. Look at her. She could break my arm in 12 different places while still looking angelic," Bucky groaned, turning back around to face the bar, downing the rest of the whiskey. "I can't."

"Maybe if you say that to her she'll give you a chance? C'mon Buck, you barely go out, you need to give it a try!" Steve exclaimed, patting Bucky's shoulder. It made him sad; even though most of Bucky had returned, he wasn't fully here yet. It looks like he forgot how to have fun like he had in the 40's.

After ordering two more whiskey's Bucky finally plucked the courage to stand up and walk over to you. He locked eyes on you like you were a target, and squeezed between sweaty, dancing bodies, heart hammering in his chest as he got closer. What if you thought he was a creep? Just another guy trying to approach you? He was certain others had their eyes on you the entire night. But one thing he had noticed, is that your booth was entirely empty, and no one dared come close to it, except the barman bringing you your drinks. His train of thought had brought him right to your table without him noticing.

"Can I help you?" God, your voice was melodic. Charming and a little bit hoarse, like you've been speaking all night, yet soft. Bucky couldn't describe it. He could listen to it all night.

"Umm... I, uh, jus-"

"Not today, Barnes."

Bucky's eyes widened. You knew him? Oh God, what if you knew him as the Winter Soldier? As the monster he was? What if he had gotten into trouble somewhere that he doesn't know about?

"I-I'm sorry?" Bucky stammered,

"You should be." You said, crossing your arms and leaning back into the cushioning of the booth. Bucky couldn't help staring. "You left me at the funfair, you bastard."

The amount of confusion that had clouded Bucky's mind was overwhelming. He did not remember a single mission where his target was at a fair, nor does he remember a girl as beautiful as the one before him. Maybe one, but the image was blurry.

"Sit." You ordered. You could see him searching, eyes wide and panicking. You wanted to investigate if he remembers you or not before you revealed yourself. You wanted to make him wait, like he made you at the fair.

He sat down immediately, stiffly and clearly uncomfortably, but his eyes never changed the panic they showed.

"How's Stevie?" You asked without looking at him, your golden dress hiking up as you stood up to pick up the drink the barman brought over. Bucky gulped louder than he had thought.

"Is he here?" You mumbled into your drink as it neared your lips, eyes still not meeting his, even though you could feel his burning stare on your face, trying to figure you out. The noise seemed to die out; it was deafening to Bucky while he was at the bar with Steve, thanks to his enhanced hearing, but with her it all seemed to fade away. His focus was only on her.

He gulped again, "Yeah, he's at the bar."

"Why didn't you bring him over? I bet he would've recognised an old friend straight away," you said, gently placing your glass on the mahogany table. Your fingers began tracing the edge, eyes still not meeting Bucky's. It drove him crazy.

"Old friend?" He dared to scoot closer to you, leaning his flesh arm on the table and covering his metal hand. "What's your name?"

And then you looked at him, and you both said the same thing, "Y/N."

His breath had stopped in his throat. His jaw clenched, and eyes widened. It couldn't be true. Someone was messing with his head again. You're not here. The love of his life is not here.

"C'mon Buck! I wanna go on that one!" You had pointed to the tallest Ferris wheel Bucky had ever seen. Even the brave Steve Rogers would shake in his boots at the sight of it.

"Ooor we could just stay here, doll," Bucky pulled you back into his chest, ocean eyes adoring your enchanting y/e/c ones. "I could stare at you all night. I could spend the whole night with you here, sugar." Bucky said, grabbing your jaw gently, lips getting dangerously close to yours. Your hands had travelled to his chest, to his neck, through his soft, chestnut hair, until you had knocked his cap down to cover his eyes.

"You can stare at me all you want when we're on the wheel, Sarge," you giggled, fixing the collar of his uniform, "and if you're lucky, you'll spend the entire night with me too," you had poked his nose playfully, bouncing away like a child towards the ride.

He couldn't believe he was lucky enough to have you. All his. The woman he was gonna marry, the one he was gonna show off to his ma, to Steve, to the whole world. You had such a presence; no-one dared mess with you, you stood your ground and was always so painfully honest, but you were caring, loving and sweet, and so, so beautiful. Bucky would never believe he deserved you, no matter how many times you'd tell him he deserves even more.

That's when he saw Steve wonder into another army enlistment tent. He looked at you once more, to know where to find you, and walked over to Steve. He was measuring himself again, and finding he was a whole foot and a half too short. It almost made Bucky angry. Bucky would much rather be able to stay here, with you, and not fight in this damned war, like Steve could stay. But he couldn't be mad. Never.

"No."

"Yes."

He let out a breath, "no."

"What is it, Barnes?" Your question almost sounded like a growl, your stance immediately changing, like you were about to fight him.

"You can't be here. You can't, you're messing with me..." Bucky had covered his face with his hands. Had he drunk too much? No, that wasn't it. Someone was playing a cruel joke on him.

"I'm here Barnes, we've got some explaining to do."

"Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"This! You're messing with my head! Get out!" He had looked up, hands shaking, eyes glossy.

"I ain't going nowhere. This is my bar."

You had patiently waited. 5 minutes. 10 minutes. 15. Bucky still hasn't gotten back. You saw him follow Steve into another army enlistment unit. You were happy he was helping out his friend, but a little upset that he abandoned you on what could be your last date. At least before he came back.

"Y/N Y/L/N, correct?" A man in a dark, green suit had approached you. He was quite handsome, a dark stubble decorated his face, brown eyes darker than the night. He was nowhere near as handsome as Bucky though. Your Bucky.

"Yes, who's askin'?" You turned to him fully, crossing your arms before you.

"Hm, sassy for a mutant. You'll be useful."

You felt your heart in your throat. How did he know? You morphed your fingers into knives and held them to his throat discretely, fully aware that you were in a queue where you could get in plenty of trouble.

"I don't know who you are or how you know, but if you speak a word of this to anyone and you'll be my next fucking meal, you understand?" You whispered, eyes searching his.

"Or you'll be mine." He smirked at the needle in your arm, injecting a substance that looked like liquid metal. Your last thought before you fell into the man's arms was Where's Bucky?

You had destroyed half the Hydra facility within the first couple of hours being there. Turned into a mammoth and wrecked a lab, or a swarm of hornets and stung the lab workers until they were a pile of blisters. You had turned your fist into vibranium in order to break the glass that they had surrounded you with. All to no use. They always found a way of injecting you with that shit, and you’d always find yourself either on a bed or with a chair, strange machinery attached to your face. Within the thousands of years that you’ve been alive you’ve never felt so useless, so helpless. You only hoped you got to see Bucky again soon.

And you had. 1962. He looked horrible. He was covered head to toe in weaponry. And he didn’t recognise you. He wasn’t Bucky. He was the Winter Soldier. The thing that Hydra wanted to make you into but failed miserably. So they got the thing closest to you. They dehumanised the thing that made you feel most human. Was it to get back at you? You’d never know. But what you did know now was why you couldn’t find Bucky or his corpse after his 'death'. To say it had broke you was nothing. It destroyed you. Dr Zola was lucky he had put himself into those fucking computers because you couldn’t have ripped him apart any more for it. But that didn’t make any difference. Bucky wasn’t there anymore.

If only you two hadn’t wondered off at that funfair.

You had told each other everything in the backroom behind the bar. His eyes were filled with tears, and yours were no different. You had sat in your chair, while he on the sofa. This was the first time you’ve been this close in over 70 years. The first time you saw Bucky as Bucky, not as the Winter Soldier.

“So now you own bars across the world and work with drugs, guns, money and intergalactic businesses? Stop shitting me.”

“And you feed goats in a 'Third-world' country after making yourself into a ghost story?” you had mocked by making speech marks in the air.

“Sounds better.”

“You just fought a massive space grape, you think I’m shitting you?” you had asked, tears disappearing and eyes filled with anger instead.

“Why didn’t you help? If you have so much power, why didn’t you help? When we got dusted? When we were fighting?”

“I got dusted too, Barnes! And it wasn’t as quick! I didn’t get dusted fully until three years after it! Three. Fucking. Years, Barnes! And you think that army was all that Thanos had? I lost hundreds of soldiers trying to stop those ships! I lost friends Barnes!” the tears we’re back in your eyes

“I lost friends too!” Bucky cried, pointing at you

“Oh, as if you had any friends apart from Steve!” you had slumped back into your chair, glaring at him.

Bucky's head dropped. He blamed you. He blamed himself. Himself more. He didn’t look for you hard enough. Not during the war. Not after he got out of cryo. He was afraid, and still so in love with you. He had prayed every time when the brainwashed him that he’d remember you. Your smile. Your eyes, your hair, your laugh. But you weren’t there.

“I had Sam.” He whimpered.

“Wilson?” you asked. He came here sometimes. Always left with a girl. He seemed lonely.

“Yeah. And Nat.”

“Oh.” You knew who she was. Not only did you try bribing the Red Room into handing over a couple of the best girls they had to you, but you also trained some. One of them was Romanoff. Plus, she had a past with The Winter Soldier. And you made sure you knew everything you could. That shut you up a bit.

“I missed you,” Bucky looked up at you, eyes puffy, red and swollen, cheeks wet with tears. Your heart broke.

“I missed you too.” You had walked over to him and knelt before him, grabbing his hands with your left one and wiping tears from his face with your right. You felt so bad at that moment. Memories and feelings you’ve pressed down for so long resurfacing. You felt horrible.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.” You whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. “Forgive me.”

“There’s nothing to forgive, doll,” he smiled, more tears spilling down his cheeks. Oh, how you missed that smile. “We’re home.”

Let me know if you enjoyed it and what I can improve!!

[jamlally]

Baby it’s cold outside

This was written for the 25 days of Christmas Challenge that is hosted by  @panicfob .  The Day 10 Challenge prompt was Snow Storm

Warnings: Fluff and suggestions of sex

Pairing: Tony Stark x OFC (Belle Porter),

Summary:Tony has a surprise for Belle and the weather has a surprise for them both

Being woken up in the early hours wasn’t common place but it also wasn’t entirely unusual.  Belle had spent the night in her own apartment for a change as Tony had been hung up on some project that kept him up late and had him coming to bed in the early hours.  No matter how quiet he tried to be she would still wake up when he came back to his apartment and when he did manage to fall asleep it wasn’t restful.  Belle needed one nights solid rest so they had agreed that she would sleep in her own bed for the night, and then they would go back to her staying in his room.

It hadn’t been long since things had moved on to the more physical level between the,, but Belle found that she had missed his warmth and his smell when she tried settle own to sleep. After an hour of tossing and turning she had wrapped herself up in a blanket and headed up to Tony’s apartment, stolen a hoodie that replaced the blanket and headed back to her own bed,  Surrounded in his musky amber scent sleep had come more easily - week right up until the lights in her apartment had turned on and the man himself was shaking her shoulder

“Snowflake, hey come on baby rise and shine”

“Tony?” She was confused and groggy “What time is it?”

“Oh its’ early, maybe 4 but I have a surprise for you”. He was crouched down at her level, eyes looking tired but full of life

“Couldn’t it wait until a little later my love ?” Tired as she was she returned his grin with her own sleepy smile “You could join me in here”

“Mmmmm as tempting as that is I  don’t want to spoilt the surprise” He ran his hands under the covers one skimming up her leg while the other found her waist ‘Is that my hoodie I feel.  Was my girl missing me?”

Belle blushed a little “No I think you’ll find I’m wearing it so its mine.” Tony chuckled “Fair enough.  Now up you get, put on something warm, and meet mean the garage in 5” A quick hint of a kiss and he was off  leaving Belle grumbling as she went to freshen up.

Bundled up in a warm jacket, jeans and numerous other layers Belle made her way to the garage to find Tony, who was stood leaning against one of the larger SUV’s cup of what she guessed was coffee in one hand and his ever present phone in the other

“There’s my girl, hop on in.  I put coffee in there for you”  She got another quick kiss on the way passed and then she was settled into the passenger seat coffee in one hand, her other resting on Tony’s thigh.  Content with drinking her coffee and watching the world fly by Belle simply enjoyed the quiet.  About 30 minutes in she realized that other than out of the city she had no idea of where they were going 

“OK so it’s 5am and we are out of the city, so do you want to tell me where we are going?”

“Hmm nice of you to ask but no, that would spoil the surprise”

“Ok and why are we having this surprise? Is this like Natasha’s gift?”

“Ohh now there’s an interesting idea but no.  I know that I’ve been busy and it probably feels like I’ve been ignoring you.  In fact I probably have been a bit.  When I get into my head sometimes I loose track of things and I need to just get things don.  It makes me hard to be around and …look I know I’m a pain in the ass most of the time, but I need you to know that even when I get caught up I miss you”

“Tony, that’s not something you need to worry about.  I understand that’s the way you work and I accept that - it’s a part of who you are”

“You say that now but some day it’ll get annoying and then we will fight, and trust me, based on passed experience it won’t end well”

Belle sighed “Is this because of where I slept?  If it is we tased about that Tony.  We both needed uninterrupted rest.  You wake me when you get I and I wake you when I go out.  It was just a night.  Hell I count even sleep without your hoodie”

“I dint want to take any chances so we’re having a surprise.  Now why don’t you settle down find us something to listen to and enjoy the drive”

Tabling the conversation for the moment Belle picked up Tonys phone and scrolled through it finding some podcast that sounded interesting putting it on for them both to listen to.  Settling back she watched as the miles passed by.

Two hours into the drive Belle suddenly sat up looking at the signs in more detail and paying more attention to her surroundings.  

“Tony are we heading to the Catskills?” She asked more than a little excited 

She got a grin in answer and Belle found herself bouncing a little e in her seat in excitement

The cabin they pulled up to was beautiful, set amongst the trees, warm lights already spilling out the windows.  Belle looked between Tony and the cabin until he nodded, then she jumped out the SUV and headed up to the door.  It was colder than she imagined it would be outside and the air smelled crisp and almost sharp.  

“Come on slow poke - I want to look inside” she called back to Tony, the excitement clear in her voice.  

‘Put your thumb on the reader and the door will unlock” he called. Back moving to the trunk

“Of course it will” Belle muttered to herself,  She wasn’t sure she would ever get used to the amount of tech that surrounded her.  Sure enough the door opened and she walked into a stunning log cabin. The hallway branched off into a living room, dining area and kitchen and what looked like possibly a bathroom, while a set of stairs lead, she guessed up to at least one bedroom.

The click of the door alerted her to Tony’s presence.  Im going to light a fire and get the stove working, why don’t you take our bags upstairs to the room.  Turning Belle was surprised to see Tony had 2 small duffles with him 

“Now how on earth did you manage to get a bag packed for me ?”

Tony just grinned “Thats my secret.  Now chop chop we have relaxing to be doing so off you go”

The upper level gad a couple of bedrooms and a bathroom, Belle picked the room with an en suite and put the bags at the foot of the the bed.  Checking the bags he found one filled with new bottles of her toiletries and a pile of casual clothes, most of which looked to be hers though there seemed to be a couple of new sweaters.  Smiling she pulled out a loose charcoal grey one that she definitely hadn’t seen before.  It felt wonderfully soft and when she pulled it on she felt content.

“So not that I’m complaining, because this is wonderful, but why did we have to leave so early to com here”

“Well I had this all kind of planned but then the weather looked like it might not cooperate so I figured that we would just move the plans up a little bit. Ohh and can I just sy that who ever picked that sweater has excellent taste, it looks wonderful on you”

Belle moved up to Tony sliding her arms around his neck “MmmmHmmm not only does it look good but it feels wonderful too.  It’s from my man on the side, he has wonderful taste”

Man on the side huh.  Well he better watch out, I’m not a man that likes go share” Tony dropped his voice to something that was closer a growl before nipping at Belle’s neck.  Belle giggled and moved in closer.

“Seriously though Tony, thank you for this, it’s a wonderful idea”

“So my plan was to make some breakfast and some coffee, maybe sit in here and read, and maybe do some other things too” queue eyebrow wiggle

“Now that sounds like an idea, how about I go get started in the kitchen, see what food we have and you can start on the coffee”  Belle knew that if Tony had picked the coffee maker then he would probably be the only one who could work out how to get the damn this to brew.

They worked in companionable silence, steeling occasional kisses, and touches as they pulled together food before eventually retiring back to the loving room, coffee cups refilled, ready to relax.  Tony had produced books from another bag and the pair snuggled on the sofa to read.

“So I did some research and there is supposed to be an amazing hiking trail not far from here,  I thought we could pack a lunch and head out for a bit seeing as the weather is still good” Tony broke the silence, causing Belle to blink a little sleepily,  She hadn’t been asleep but, she wasn’t that far from a quick doze.

“That sounds good, i'll freshen up and then we can head out?” 

“No rush baby”

It.turns out that there was a reason to rush. They had found the trail easily enough and it was nice and clear making it easy to follow.  There had been an epic view about an hour in and they had stopped to have lunch, before heading off again. Another 10 minutes in and the wind suddenly picked but, and it was sharp and cold.  Tony had checked in with FRIDAY and had quickly turned them round to head back, but it turned out that they couldn’t outrun the weather.  About half way back the wind had brought snow with it and it fell faster than Belle had ever seen.  The ground grew slippery and the snow started to settle.  

“You said the weather was going stay good”. Belle  squealed as she slipped her way around the last corner before the cabin would come into sight

“Actually I said that the weather had stayed good, but regardless I probably should have checked” Tony called back raising hi spouse to be heard over the wind. “I didn’t think that the weather would come in that fast” 

Belle gave laugh  holding out her hand for him to grab “ Me either, come on if we hurry we will get back before it gets much worse”

Tony wrapped his hand around hers letting Belle tug him closer laughing at just how crazy the situation was .  The lights of the cabin were a beacon to the pair and they sped up as soon as their target was in site. Tony fumbled with his gloves to get his hand out to unblock to door and Belle shuffled trying to keep warm, her teach chattering 

“Ok Snowdrop in you go” Tony pulled her forward into the still cozy living room before slipping in and pushing the door closed.  The wind was rattling and whistling and the light was dimming as the storm hit full force.

“Ok Snowflake strip and then it’s off to the shower to get warm. Tony was already shedding his jacket and boots and leaving them by the door.  

Belle fumbled with zippers and laces as she freed herself from the layers, teeth chattering she took Tony’s hand “I think I need to help to make sure that all of me gets warmed up”

“As my lady wishes” Tony puled her back to rest against his front, causing Belle to squeal when his cold nose pressed against her shoulder

The shower was more than big enough for the two of them and the rainfall shower head meant they were doused in hot water in seconds.  Hands ran over bodies, lips touched and sucked on flesh and moans filled the steamy air.  

Lying in bed arms wrapped around each other, breathing returning to normal Belle couldn’t believe how relaxed and safe she felt. The weather was wild with the wind screaming but she felt untouchable, wrapped in the cocoon of the man that she had realized she quite probably loved.  She wasn’t sure if he felt the same, and she was damned sure that she wasn’t ready to tell him, but in her heart the knew that the truth was there.

When Belle next opened her eyes, the light from the bathroom was the only thing that let her see anything.  She slipped out from under Tony’s arm and the covers stopping to grab some panties, thick socks and the grey sweater from earlier.  Heading down to the kitchen Belle started to put together something for dinner that would fill them and warm,  She also started a batch of mulled wine for later.  Looking out of window there wasn’t anything to be seen other than a smiling mass of snow.  The wind hadn’t settled down at all from earlier and periodically she could hear the wind ratting the front door.

She was adding more  wood to the fire when Tony came down the stairs and she glanced up at him

“Hey, the storms really picked up, I don’t think were doing any outside activities for a while, but I’ve got dinner on”

“Hmm well when I come down to a view like this I don’t feel the need to go outside.  Come here baby girl”

Laying a final piece of wood in the grate Belle stood and saunters over, adding a little more sway to her hips, her eyes fixed on Tony.  Pausing in front of him she reached out a hand to run it over his sweater covered chest 

“The views pretty good from here too” she murmured  before stepping in for a kiss which ended up pulling a moan from herself.

Tony leaned in closer deepening the kiss, one hand running down to squeeze a handful of her ass. “I need to go and check on dinner” Belle whispered against his lips

“Well I need to check on whats under that sweater” he more or less groveled back 

Belle laughed  slapping him gently on his chest “ Back up Mr and if you’re good I’ll let you have a look later”

Tony let her go but gave her a stinging slap on her behind as soon as she headed away from him before he went to look out the front door.  

“Ah mulled wine too” 

“Yep, I made us a beef stew and the rice is nearly done, I figured mulled wine would be a nice way to finish dinner”

“That sounds and smells amazing” His lips were back on her neck and arms around her waist “I just had a look outside and checked in with FRIDAY we’re pretty much snowed in, and the storm isn’t going to let up for at least 24 hours”

“So you’re saying that we are stranded here, all alone together for at least 24 hours, what ever will we do Mr Stark?”  Belle couldn’t keep the amusement out of her voice

“Oh don’t you worry Agent Porter I’ve got plans for you”