#oh my god would you look at that. early posting!!!!
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
With Stars to Fill My Dream (13) - Moving Through the Silence Without Motion
Whew- sorry, this one took longer than anticipated!! I was on vacation last weekend and couldn't make the last-minute changes I wanted to make that would have allowed me to post on Tuesday, but it's all done now! âș Back on schedule!
â§Ë Release Schedule: Every 2 Weeks Ëâ§
Summary: The camp deals with the aftermath of their encounter with the dream visitor, and a certain fluffy friend joins their odd group of misfits. Ofelia experiences another embarrassing predicament, and their party finally enters the goblin camp to face down the three leaders and clear the way for the tieflings in the Grove. Branded by a priestess, rediscovering the luxury of coffee, and sharing a sweet opportunity with her favorite fanged companion aren't enough to cushion the blow of reality all while Astarion tries to sort through emotions he would rather not address.
Pairing: Astarion x female!Tav
Warnings: 18+. Mentions of past abuse and trauma. Canon-typical violence and gore.
Word Count: 7,603
AO3
Took some fun screenshots!! Please enjoy the opening below the cut â€
â§ËTag List: @khywren @allymcfee
âAre you alright?â Shadowheart pokes her face into Ofeliaâs tent, pale and clammy. Ofelia scrambles to wipe her tears away, nodding and meeting the half-elfâs eyes.
âYeah⊠I think so⊠did you see it too?â Shadowheartâs lips set in a firm line, nodding softly.
âWe all did. Here, itâs dawn⊠come out. Letâs all sit and talk around the fire.â
Ofelia heeds Shadowheartâs suggestion, pulling her boots on and fixing her hair into a loose bun, resolving to bathe before they start the day. Officially. She hesitates, once again finding her return to her bedroll to be a mystery.
The last thing she remembers is swaying in Astarionâs arms, thinking about how pretty he looked under the light of stars, music from her own world making her feel like they were in their own pocket in time, separated from the tadpole, the cult, all of it. She remembers wishing heâd been from Earth, that way sheâd want to go back⊠And try as she might, she canât bury these stupid feelings.
Her face flushes in shame at the memory of pressing that kiss to his cheek, that pang of longing when he hadnât shoved her away but instead gazed at her in surprise⊠It makes forgetting that it happened ten times worse. Then she returned to her tent, somehow, a faint feeling of unease now clouding her mind. How did she get back? Did she go back alone? She canât shake the feeling that sheâs missing something important, but she canât put her finger on what it might beâŠ
She walks out into the early dawn, stunned to find another surprise- a welcome one at that.
âScratch!â Ofelia crumples to her knees as he runs up from beyond the outskirts of their camp, the rest of her groggy companions yelping or jumping out of the way as the dog barrels into her. âOh, Iâm so glad you're safe!â She mumbles into his fur as it pokes her neck and cheek and he nearly knocks her backward. He licks her face and barks and she scratches his ears, giving him little kisses on the snout and top of his head.
âIs that a dog? Oh my goodness!â Karlach cries tearfully, bringing a stick over. She seems to be talking to Scratch, but all Ofelia can hear are soft yips and excited growling. âHe says he wants to stay if weâve got the room?â
âOh my god of course he can stay!â Ofelia sobs, wiping her eyes as Scratch licks the happy tears off her cheeks. âI love him so much,â She sniffles to Karlach and the two of them giggle and lead Scratch over to the fire as the rest of their companions huddle around.
âIn addition to Laeâzel, weâre letting more than one mangy mutt stick around?â Astarion frowns, a sour look on his face. Ofelia scoffs as Gale hands her a steaming cup of tea, watching Laeâzel do no more than grunt and roughly shoulder the vampire out of the way on her path toward the fire. His affronted yelp and subsequent snarl make Ofelia laugh under her breath as she smiles at Gale in thanks and hands Scratch a couple of hunks of sausage from their stock.
âYou all were approached in your sleep by the same visitor, werenât you?â Astarion mutters, lips still twisted in displeasure. Ofelia regards his unkempt head of hair with an amused smile, feeling privileged to see him before heâs had a chance to put himself together for the day.
#bg3#astarion#astarion x tav#bg3 astarion#baldur's gate 3#bg3 fanfic#astarion ancunin#astarion x oc#astarion x f!tav#With Stars to Fill My Dream#Ofelia Montez#Astarion x Ofelia#bg3 isekai#baldur's gate oc#bg3 oc#chapter title is Shadowplay by Joy Division!#badlur's gate screenshots#bg3 screenshots#baldur's gate tav#tav bg3#tav oc#bg3 tav#my writing#Spotify
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
gacha: SUPREME SPORTY; event: Work Out and FLY! Muscle Training!
like and/ or reblogđ, creditsđ, claiming as ownâ
#melprsktransparents#melprskrenders#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#ăăăžă§ăŻăă»ă«ă€#ăăă»ă«#transparents#pjsk transparents#prsk transparents#kiritani haruka#shinonome akito#tenma tsukasa#meiko#shiraishi an#oh my god would you look at that. early posting!!!!#weâre so back (just for this moment)#free from the clutches of organizing (sadge)
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
[Image Description: Two unfinished digital paintings / sketches of the hatchling and Hal from outer wilds. they are standing with their arms around each other and the hatchling has their head leaning on hal's shoulder as hal watches the supernova in the distance through the doorway of the museum. the first image is the scene viewed from behind with everything lit in bright blue with dark shadows. the second image shows hal's face looking in fear towards the light and is only partially colored, the rest sketched over a gray background. End Image Description.]
something you'll run back in for when the house burns down
#im going to post something on halloween but also want to post like sketch compilations and unfinished stuff#bc I draw alllll the tiiimeee and theres so much and its just going to get buried in my hard drive if I dont do anything with it#I'm so shy to post this but im in a good mood today so ok you can have the hal post#::) hal.#I wanted to finish these sooo badly and I still want to - it might take me completely reworking it again though :P#im scared this will become one of those pieces where i improve at anatomy more then look back at this one and be like. Gah what was I doing#honestly thats already happened. these are from several months ago#I kept their expression kind of neutral.. both because I dont think I could accurately capture the sheer dumfounded horror.#also because my heart will shatter into many pieces if I draw hal too sad#anyway the caption is a lyric from alone by tresspassers william#the album that song is from is called different stars and its one of my favorite albums ever ever <3 its very somber but I love it#this song doesnt even remind me of these two thaaat much#but theres other songs on the album that do more.. like vapour trail... and anchor oh my god. anchor...#and if you cant steer then it would be safer to drop the anchor đ€đ€#ok I'm done talking now bye hal fans#outer wilds#outer wilds spoilers#very early spoilers. lol sub 23 minute spoilers#hal outer wilds#hatchling outer wilds#the hatchling#timber hearth#. I guess?
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
Still fascinated that the m9 TV shows current official description talks about the beacons + the way they keep bringing up how excited they are to show offscreen political stuff when they're still working on s1. Is the plan to show the assembly (and possibly the dynasty) having political discussions seasons before the nein know or care?? Ik people have been talking about this for essek reasons but im much more interested in the narrative implications of that choice. Early c2 would have a much different feel to it! I'm not sure I'm fully on board with it but it's a very bold choice and I'm really curious how things will work out if they do go down that path
#ofc i know the description could be a temporary one from before they knew the s1 plot outline and they could just be excited for the future#but im just thinking about it because its fun and we dont have much yet#can you imagine knowing the nein could get killed over the beacon and watching them fuck around with it for 2-3 seasons with no consequence#and just seeing crazy stuff go on in the background for that long without the plot focusing on it must be really tense#people have also talked about knowing essek is the traitor from the start which would give new fans a whole different perspective on him#actually you know who would be really to introduce early?? have yeza show up but dont tell us hes notts husband#ik the fact that hes also an alchemist would probably make it kinda obvious#(especially if we see hes got a kid and no partner in sight)#but its still really really funny to think about#again idk if im actually on board with any of this but my point is just how crazy this would be#post not going in the maintag because i feel its very disorderly and i just looked at the tag length and went oh god
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's really funny that fandom convinced me I shipped pairings romantically even though I was wildly uncomfortable with the idea of them interacting in that way
#i'm looking at you wright//worth#*reading wright//worth fic* stop they would never do that :c (unknowingly just likes them platonically)#oh my god wait I remember in my early days of liking AA years ago#where I was like âyeah I get it but they're just friends to meâ#WHY DID I THINK I CHANGED FROM THAT VIEWPOINT#what allonormativity did to me#and fandom. fandom.#aromantic#gattocatto's silly posts#gattocatto's ramblies
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
comes out of the "googling things about the disorder you have and then googling a vague medical term and not getting a clear answer and complaining about the vagueness of the term to your friend who probably has more familiarity with the term and it's implications in context" session covered in blood and wailing and writing on the floor
#Anyway I have not gotten more than 2 paragraphs in to a study talking about how thyroid disorders can potentially cause#Permanent Consequences To Brain Development if they aren't treated at important times. And I struggled because they used#The term ''adult onset'' and looking it up was vague and like it SAID ''post puberty'' but the same definition said#''later in life'' and that part was HIGHLIGHTED BY GOOGLE so I missed the puberty part but even beyond that#Hypothyroidism is most commonly diagnosed in ppl who are like 50+ I believe so does ''later in life'' mean ''not a child'' or#''genuinely middle aged'' in this context specifically because stuff talking about hypothyroidism mostly talks about it either#In terms of Congenital Hypothyroidism and Hypothyroidism (which they mention is most common in ppl assigned female at birth and like 60+)#So there's barely anything talking Abt ppl like Me who got diagnosed in their Mid Teens so probably Mid Puberty and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#I'm going to drive into a lake. Thank you to my best friend ever for breaking down the term and how it's used in medical contexts for me#I owe you my life#Anyway part of the reason this was so fucking Much: thing I'm reading (like an actual medical study) mentions that the cognitive issues#Associated w ''adult onset hypothyroidism'' are largely reversible but before then untreated hypothyroidism can have significant effects on#Brain development and while I caught mine early and got medicated when I was ~18 I had a gap in treatment#Bc I aged out of my pediatrician and didn't have the motivation to actually Get A New Doctor As An Adult (yay mental illness)#Which like. Lead to a Months Long gap in medication. And like I could've BEEN medicated if I put in the work but I felt fine with skipping#My meds bc from what I knew about hypothyroidism it obviously had Symptoms but not ones that would have Significant Long Term Consequences#Like I thought ''oh I'll have depression and fatigue when I'm unmedicated'' NOT REALIZING THAT BEING UNMEDICATED COULD HAVE A SIGNIFICANT#LONG TERM IMPACT EBCAUSE OF HOW IMPORTANT THE THYROID IS TO FUCKING EVERYTHING IN YHE GOD DAMN BODY#THAT EVEN PROPER FUTURE MEDICATION COULD NOT NECESSARILY TAKE CARE OF#And like hey: maybe that's on me for not connecting the dots or something. Maybe I knew the thyroid controlled a lot of hormones but#I just didn't make the connection that that means it can have Permanent Irreversible effects when left untreated#But also HEY THIS IS THE KIND OF SHIT YOU SHOULD SPELL OUT TO PEOPLE ESPECIALLY PEOPLE WHO MIGHT HAVE COGNITIVE DIFFICULTIES AND THEREFORE#STRUGGLE WITH THINGS THAT SHOULD BE ''OBVIOUS''. Anyway I'm mad
1 note
·
View note
Note
your post about sylus essentially conditioning the reader to sit on his lap hasjsakddf that was so perfect and in character đ i love it sm its given me so much brain rot - how bout this:
can i request the lads boys reaction to the reader randomly asking to be carried/picked up in the middle of walking? for no other reason just to see how'd they react lol
LaDS casually carrying MC
Xavier
The most casual. He just smiles at you and asks, "Bridal or piggyback?" in the same tone as if he's asking what you want to eat.
And he's not just playing along. He means it. He wants to be the one you lean on â metaphorically and literally.
You can try and backtrack but then you'll get those eyes. The bluest puppy dog eyes that can break the strongest of wills. "Are you sure? We still have a few blocks to go to the cafĂ©, I donât want you to get tired..."
You feel like you're holding out on him by not letting him carry you. The mind tricks this man is capable of to get what he wants are ridiculous.
You fold embarrassingly fast and Xavier is happy as can be with you on his back, your arms and legs around him like a full-body embrace. He can see the tactical advantage to carrying you like this during missions, too.
Rafayel
"You want me to carry you?â Rafayel scoffs. âWhat if I pulled a muscle in my arm and couldn't draw for a week? No thank you!"
He refuses until you ask if it's not that he doesn't want to carry you, but that he can't.
Now you've wounded his pride. He might not be the God of the Sea anymore, but he can't let this go unanswered! Rafayel will be on you relentlessly to let him pick you up, no matter how long it takes.
"Whoa, be careful, cutie! There's no telling how deep these puddles are from all the rain â you're super lucky your boyfriend is here to carry you to safety."
When you finally break and let him do it just so he can prove a point, he realizes he likes this way more than he thought he would. You're like his adorable little prisoner and the only way you're getting out is in praise and smooches. This will become a regular thing, I fear.
Zayne
âI told you to wear more comfortable shoes.â
Zayne inwardly grins at how quickly you deflate at his blunt response. It's adorable.
But Zayne has a hard time denying you something so innocent as wanting to be close to him. So he guides your arm to wrap around his shoulders and picks you up with a strength that always takes you by surprise.
He waits for you to settle comfortably in his arms before he starts walking. He's aware of the disapproving stares from the people around you and not too long ago, he would've been one of them. How quickly his perspective has changed because of you.
Zayne is brought out of his thoughts when he feels you peck his cheek and now you get that oh so familiar look of gentle reproach from him. "I am working on being more affectionate but I'm not there yet, MC. Now, behave or your ride will end early."
Sylus
Sylus is so caught off guard that, for once, you can see his entire thought process play out through his expressions.
Surprise at your request, suspicion you're just toying with him, the realization you're being somewhat serious, and then the most gratified look you've ever seen on his stupid smug face.
Now youâre speaking his language. So delighted youâre finally catching on, he just picks you up and continues on his way without breaking his stride.
However, you didn't specify how he should carry you. So you're draped over Sylus's shoulder and to keep you there, his hand is dangerously high up on your thigh for being in public. The smack on your ass is so inevitable, you can feel it like it's already happened.
"You just said you were tired, now you want me to put you down? You need to learn to make up your mind, kitten. I'll just carry you until you're sure of what you want."
#i think rafayel is the only one who hasn't carried us yet...? correct me if i'm wrong#love and deepspace#love & deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#love & deepspace x reader#lads x reader#l&ds x reader#my writing
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
pass the salt âą e.m. smut
DADâS BEST FRIEND!OLDER!EDDIE x FEM!READER
part two here
summary: youâre home from college and staying with your dad for the summer, spending as much time as you possibly can with himâŠand his hot best friend that youâve never seen in your life.
authors note: okay have you guys ever seen those text posts like âwhen you say âdaddy pass the salt pleaseâ and your father and your man both reach for itâ đđ well this is inspired by that concept. also i went overboard and this is a LONG BOI
disclaimers â photo credits to @eddiemunsons-missingnipple đ«¶đŒporn with plot, readerâs nickname is âsunshineâ, reader has female anatomy, race unspecified, divider: @iluvpooks
NSFW â 18+ obv, porn with plot, daddy kink pls keep scrolling if itâs not ur thing, slight age gap (eddie is mid to late 30s, reader is in her early 20s), corruption kink, size kink, masturbation (m&f), p in v sex (protected), dirty talk, teasing, sexual innuendos, extreme flirting, eddie kinda being a perv, praise kink
The sound of breakfast on the griddle summons you downstairs.
Dad never cooks.
For as long as you can remember, weekends at your dadâs have always consisted of Lucky Charms cereal and powdered donuts. That tradition continued even after you started college.
Oh yeah. Someone is here, alright. Someone Dad desperately wants to impress.
Trailing after the commotion, your fuzzy pink slippers guide you down the wooden steps of your dadâs âbachelor padâ and into the kitchen. And when you near the bottom of the steps, you can make out two distinct voices â one belonging to Dad, another belonging to someone who's identity is obscure.
âGod, I fucking missed you, Jeff. Missed everyone so much.â
The smells of pancake batter, cigarette smoke, mint, and petroleum fuel reel you in, but not nearly as much as the sight of the man sitting on the opposite side of your dad. He's built, handsome with wavy brown hair, leather, black denim, twiddling a toothpick between his teeth as he listens to your dad speak with a smile on his face. That is, until you come into sight. It then that his intense focus circles in on you.
Funny. You donât remember this friend. And something in your gut tells you that you wonât ever be forgetting him after this.
The stranger's grin curls into a wonder-filled smirk. You can feel your knees start to buckle.
âUh oh. Looks like our shenanigans woke up Sleeping Beauty.â
When you get a closer look at Dadâs friend, you observe his faint brown beard â neatly kept and lightly peppered with some gray â delicious lips, shiny white teeth, and grooves along his laugh lines that would deepen with every theatrical cackle he belted out.
You can't help but freeze in your tracks as him and your dad continue on with their banter, reliving their glory days like it was yesterday. Man. What a damn dreamboat.
Your dadâs eyes light up with glee when he sees you.
âHey, good morning, Sunshine!â Dad cheers. âThought youâd never wake up. This is my friend Eddie. We were in that band together in high school. Come say hi.â
"Yeah, come say hi," Eddie agrees. feeding into the obvious tension in the room. "I don't bite."
The stranger laughs at his own comment as soon as he utters it.
Thereâs a charm â a magic â about Eddie that could only be found in Hollywood or the Big City. But of course, you didn't expect any less from Dad's supposed âRockstar Friendâ.
When your parents had you at 17, life went on for Dadâs band Corroded Coffin. And although he missed out on the âSex, Drugs, and Rock&Rollâ, Dad insists that tea parties and white picket fences were an ideal trade-off. Because â despite how things ended with Mom â it still meant a life spent with you.
You tell him your name as Eddie offers you his hand to shake. Electricity serges through you when your hand is enveloped by his firm, calloused one. Eddie smiles down at you, his presence all-consuming. It's almost as if he knows it. And as much as you were dying to, you resist the urge to fall into him.
Eddie's no better.
It takes everything in Eddie's power to keep his eyes above your collarbones, reprimanding himself with the utmost tedium. Because heaven knows he'd be TOAST if his best friend found out that Eddie thought that you were absolutely stunning â strutting around the house the way that you do, without a bra underneath that poor excuse of a sleep shirt â a sleep shirt far too tight for your own good. With tight, pajama shorts to matchâŠ
Of course, this is all an assumptionâŠNot that he caught wind of it or anything.
âYou knowâŠâ he mentions. âYour dad has told me SO much about little miss Sunshine.â
âMe, really?â is all you can say behind those fuscia cheeks.
âReally,â Eddie insists. âHe never shuts up about you, darling.â
âHopefully youâve only heard good things,â you mutter faintly.
And instantly, your dad and Eddie share a laugh.
âOnly good things,â Eddie assures you. He nudges your dad playfully.
Your dad doesnât exactly deny the last part, basically confirming to Eddie that youâve got a hint of spunk to you. The heat settles at your cheeks as you shy away from your fatherâs curious friend.
Taking note of how timid youâve just become, Eddie furrows his brows.
âWhat â was that an implication that youâre not always good?â
âNo comment,â your smile melts into an awkward one.
âKept me on my toes back then,â your dad reflects with a sigh. âKeeps me on my toes now.â
âYou donât sayâŠâ Eddie smirks slightly, gaze panning back over to you.
Eventually your dad leaves you two alone, going into the garage to fetch something that he insists Eddie would like. But little did he know that such thing was already in the room, leaningâŠreaching into the fridge for some orange juice, not realizing its atmosphere caused your nipples to harden.
Eddieâs eyes proceed to follow you as you strut back to the griddle, flipping some hot cakes over before tending to your messy bedhead.
Eddie probably doesnât know â or maybe he does, who knows? â that you feel him staring at you. Itâs a burning gaze that practically impales you, but youâre too nervous to say anything. Youâre better off pretending like itâs something you donât notice.
You and Eddie continue to help yourselves to breakfast, enjoying the company of each other and your mutual silence. That is, until Eddie speaks up.
âGot some sausage for you if youâd like.â
âIâm sorry?â you sputter, looking up from your food.
Eddie shoots you a weird glance as he holds up some breakfast franks.
âSausage?â he repeats. âStore was out of beef so I settled for turkey. Hope thatâs not a problem.â
âNot at all,â you clear your throat. âI love turkey sausage.â
âOkay, good,â Eddie chuckles, seemingly relieved at how quickly the situation had diffused.
âCool,â you chuckle with him while taking some links to cook.
The silence returns once more and is replaced by the sizzling of the grill. Itâs short lived, however, because soon, the man nearly twice your age speaks again.
âWhatâd you think I said?â Eddie circles back.
âNothing, why?â
âYou just looked stunned.â
âI just woke up,â you shrug. âMy mindâs somewhere else.â
âI can tell,â he smirks. âGet that thing out of the gutter.â
The coming days paved way for some more innocent flirting.
âŠLike when you make sure to wear the shortest skirt in your closet when running Eddie his afternoon beer in the garage.
âWell donât you look absolutely darlingâŠâ he says as he peers up from his guitar.
âHehe,â you smirk connivingly. âThank you!â
âYou are so welcome.â
Eddie downs the liquid guilt along with his pride, watching you strut aroundâŠthe hem of that pleated cotton fabric just barely covering the roundness of your asscheeks. And as you blush a rosy pink when you process his little remarks, Eddie can only clear his throat in arousal, fantasizing about just how badly he wanted to turn your other cheeks that very shade.
ïżœïżœOr when you come downstairs the next day to help Dad manually wash his car.
While he and Eddie are harassing each other with soap and that god-forsaken hose, you decide to join in on all the fun.
âWatch out, Sunshine,â Eddie forewarns. âYouâve just entered the splash zone!â
And with the intention of cooling you off on a hot summer day like this, Eddie teasingly sprays you with said hose, your white shirt becoming transparent when lathered with water. He could see everything. Your erect nipples. Your perky tits bouncing in the sunlight as you jump around in excitement. How glazed your oil-nnuendoâed skin looked when glimmering in the sun. All as intended.
âYou got me,â you surrender yourself to him. âYou got me good, Eddie.â
And when you walk away, Eddie mutters slyly to himself.
âYes, yes I did.â
âŠAnd then thereâs dessert after dinner.
Eddie watches as you lick your popsicle, his fingers curling at his thighs in arousal as you retract the wrapper before enclosing your lips around the bright pink dessert. And he swears heâs going to blow his pants when he envisions the melted sugar shooting into your mouth with the swiftest hollowing of your cheeks, the quiet suction noise you make with your pursed lips forcing him to adjust the way heâs sitting.
âŠThe final instance takes the cake.
âWhatâs your major?â
Youâre in the home library grazing some of Dadâs old books and vinyls, talking to Eddie while your father gets ready for the day. Meanwhile, Eddie is perched at your dadâs desk, rolling around in his expensive swivel chair and occasionally doing some spins on it to make you laugh.
âHistory.â
âSounds boring.â
âYou just havenât found a topic that interests you,â you point out.
âMm,â is all Eddie says. âMaybe I will eventually.â
Eddie watches as you waltz around in front of him, following your movements with his eyes as you get onto your tippy-toes in order to grab some books on the top shelf.
âOh my god!â you yelp.
Your plan to entice him seemingly fails when you graze a book thatâs halfway off the shelf. Itâs already flying off of its platform, headed straight towards Eddie's lap before you can even stop it.
Eddie catches it before any damage can be done, saving Dadâs old campaign book with the hand furthest from you and snaking the other around your waist to prevent you from sinking any further into him.
Phew. Crisis averted.
Your eyes meet again.
âIâm so sorry, Eddie,â you gasp in embarrassment. âThat book has a mind of its own.â
âYouâre fine,â Eddie laughs. âCanât defy the laws of gravity. Sometimes it betrays us.â
You feel yourself burning up a fever. Excusing yourself from the room, you leave Dadâs library and make your way over to the kitchen for a glass of water.
But youâre nearly taken aback when you feel tight, calloused hands wrap around your hips, and like a feather itâs like youâre whisked away into the air, and soon your body is pressed up against the wall.
Slam!
Breathing heavily against each other now â chest to chest, lips so unbearably close you can smell the whiskey â Eddie draws you even closer to him. You both study each other intently. Itâs like youâre waiting for the other to say something. Eddie does the honors and speaks first.
âI wasnât born last night, doll. I was also your age at one point.â
âââ
To his own despair, Eddie touches himself later that night. Facing your room, he strokes his rock hard cock with his lotioned-up hand, running his thumb across the slit of his head, pretending itâs your tongue giving him a little tease like you did the popsicle.
âFuuuck,â he grunts quietly. âYou like when I fuck your throat, baby? Gonna suck me dry with that pretty little mouth of yours?â
Youâre playing make-believe just as much. Because at the same time, in your room, youâre a drooling, pathetic mess, riding your wall-mounted toy to oblivion in your bathroom, legs trembling when the thick, veiny piece of silicone slams into the spongy part of your heat, initiating shock-waves all across your body.
âEddie,â you find yourself blubbering. âEddieEddieEddieEddieâŠâ
You both know it canât be like this, but that was the mere thrill of it all. And when you both have overcome your peak, just one mere wall apart, the floodgates of guilt outweighs both your arousals the way it comes pouring in.
So, so wrong. But oh, so right.
Youâre anticipatingâŠwaitingâŠaching for Eddie to make the next move.
He doesnât.
âGoing to the store again,â Eddie announces. âHopefully this time theyâll have beef sausage. Need anything?â
Need you, is what you think. But you end up shaking your head, a part of you disappointed that you and Eddie wonât be able to spend some time alone together.
âNo,â thereâs defeat in your voice.
âAre you sure?â Eddie questions softly.
âMhm,â you nod.
âOkay,â he gives you a grin, one in the form of a tight-lipped smile. âIâll be right back. You be good.â
âHa-ha,â you roll your eyes.
ââ
Eddie leaves the door of his room open that night. Just a smidge. You end up following the sound of his TV that heâs placed at a low volume, making out that itâs Seinfeld just by Jerryâs voice and the laugh track.
Your heart skips a beat as Eddie laughs along with the show, shaking his head at a stupid joke. But he shifts his focus immediately onto you when he sees you at the doorway.
âHaving some alone time tonight?â you ask him.
âMmmâŠnot by choice,â he responds. âTuckered your dad out after dinner doing P90X.â
Eddie follows a crazy workout routine. He says that it helps with his stamina, especially when he does crowd work during his stage performances. Your mind canât help but wonder what else he may be using it for.
You snort. âYeah. Dad wasnât what youâd call an athlete in high school.â
Eddie laughs at that too. Both you and him know that.
He then pats the space on his bed beside him. âWanna come watch with me?â
Your stomach does a series of cartwheels when you process Eddieâs question. You know whatâs bound to happen if you follow through. And it seems Eddie knows it too. Even if there wasnât any sexual tension between you both already, the concept of it all would rub anyone that way.
But you still follow through with it. Just like Eddie knew you would.
âYou comfortable?â Eddie asks you, eyeing you endearingly as you squirm around on the bed.
âYeah,â you breathe.
âGoodâŠâ he replies, voice nearly at a strained whisper now.
You two watch the show in silence for a few minutes, exchanging commentary and pleasantries regarding the show every so often. Itâs not too long after Eddie pulls a laugh from you that he starts closing up the space between you both, scooting himself closerâŠand resting his gruff palm over the base of your knee.
You inhale sharply as he does so. And evident by your refusal to pull away, itâs enough of a green light for Eddie to hike up further.
A soft moan escapes your mouth from the back of your flustered throat, but you bite your lip in restraint.
"I'm sorry," you whisper.
"For what?â
You shrug sheepishly as Eddie continues to graze your thigh. Your breathing falters even more.
âDonât be scared,â Eddie coos.
âIâm not,â you insist.
âThen whatâs stopping you from getting on top of me? Hm?â
Heâs in between your legs now, the rough material of his denim jeans riding up your sex, teasing your clit with every calculated rub against it.
âAnd riding my rock hard cock til those pretty legs give out?â Eddie continues. âI see how youâve been looking at me, doll. It's all over your face how bad you want it.â
âThe bed is squeaky,â you answer honestly. âAnd that headboard is a lost cause.â
Eddie puts the dirty talk on pause, squirming around to assess the guest bedâs squeak factor. When it checks out, he gives you an understanding nod. You giggle.
Eddie wastes no more time. You watch as he grabs one of the pillows on the bed and wedges it between the wall and headboard. He issues you a sly smile.
âOldest trick in the book.â
You're back to fooling around shortly after, your aching core burning with lust as you pine for him.
âThe boys at school ever touch you this good?â Eddie quips rubbing circles around your puffy, needy folds as you hopelessly cling to him out of pleasure.
âNo, Eddie.â
âDidnât think so.â
He continues to tease, gliding his fingers along your slit before slowly inserting two large digits inside of you.
His calculated pumps into your needy pussy are steady, a pace so agonizingly beautiful that it makes you squeal sweet nothings into the crook of his neck.
"Shh, baby," Eddie hushes you. "Your dad's gonna hear us. Gotta be quiet for me, mkay?"
Your hot, messy, and muffled sounds cease as Eddie soothes your quivering lips with his tender ones.
The wet sounds that ricochet and fill the room in tandem is almost enough to send him over. And Eddie is sure to communicate that⊠with an abrupt curving of his three thick fingers.
Fuck.
Needing him direly now, you tug helplessly at his pants.
âGod, Eddie,â you whimper. âJust fuck me already. Please.â
Eddie laughs at the desperation. He hasnât ravaged you to his fullest extent yet, and youâre already a pooling mess beside him.
âWell since you said please, sweet girl,â Eddie obliges as he starts to undress himself. âYour wish is my command."
You watch Eddie as reaches over into the bedside drawer for a fresh box of condoms. Looks like the sausage links weren't the only things he went to the store for.
âOh.â
Eddie chuckles at your observation before shrugging. Can you really blame him? You both knew what was coming.
You watch with absolute lust as Eddie slides the piece of rubber over his long, girthy, throbbing cock. Heâs bigger than anyone youâve ever had before, and the snarky, hooded-eye smile as he watches you fawn reveals to you that he knows exactly how to use it.
"On your stomach, babygirl. Will have you all nice and pounded out just like you wanted.â
You situate yourself in prone and spread your legs for Eddie to line himself up against them. He teases his wrapped cock against the entrance of your pussy, and when his soothing countdown is over, your lips part in disposition as you accommodate his ruinous stretch.
A throaty moan spills out of the both of you the moment Eddie snaps his hips in and out of you. Meanwhile, one of his hands lays tauntingly at your stomach, so the prideful man can feel himself wriggling inside you, glazing his shaft with your slick more and more with every pump into your weak cunt.
"Fuck, Eddie... yes..." you mewl. "R-right there, Eddie, please..."
And then it picks up. You can feel Eddieâs hips practically collapse right onto you, his balls slapping against you as he digs further into your body.
"God damn..." the man sighs in disbelief.
He can only beam down at you in awe. You were taking him so good, pussy swallowing him so nice and tight. And when you nestle your ankles between each other to keep him there in prone, the nearly cries out in pleasure, but refrains because he knows your dad is resting â just a thin wall over.
That still doesnât stop him from going to town though. Practically seeing stars, the broken record of a mouth that belongs to you chants Eddieâs name like itâs all you know. Eddie attempts to keep you contained, offering you his fingers to suck on as heâs railing you dumb.
And when he fucks you through your climax, Eddie continues with his string of lust-filled praises, satisfied at himself that he was able to make you wet enough to soak the mattress.
âDid so good for me, angel,â he praises you as he sucks at your temple. âAlways knew you werenât all that innocent.â
The griddle comes out again on Eddieâs last day. But this time, for a homestyle southern dinner.
You and Eddie were on mashed potatoes and gravy duty at the stove, an ordeal that only opened doors for lots of innuendos on Eddieâs part. Meanwhile, Dad insisted on making the rest, having taken pride in continuing his Mamaâs legacy.
âThis is amazing, Daddy,â you rave. âI really missed this. Do you mind passing the salt, please?â
And to your horror, you watch as your father and Eddie automatically extend their arms, bumping into one another in the process en route to getting you the salt.
The gentlemen meet each otherâs eyes.
âOhp!â Eddie exclaims, letting out a slight chuckle. âSorry.â
You try your hardest not to blush. Eddie kicks you from under the table, and softly he oh-so-seductively he mutters,
âI was just tryna help her out.â
#eddie munson#eddie munson smut#older! eddie munson#older!eddie#older!eddie munson smut#older!eddie smut#dadâs best friend!eddie#dadâs best friend!eddie munson#dom!eddie#dom!eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie x reader#eddie munson x reader smut
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
looked for stars and i found a supernova !!!
*à©â©â§âË in which it takes a random song drop and a feature from a university student for their relationship to come to light.
or
for when it became true, opposites do attract. Ë àŒâĄ âïœĄË
social media au // charles leclerc x fem!sargeant!reader
warnings - language
author's note - i am SO sorry i have no explanation for not posting except for the fact that i am now unemployed (i finished hs and don't start college till like august) and i just do Nothing the entire day. i love u all thank u for sticking around <3
âĄ.;- ê° Â°instagram ê±
liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, lilymhe and 729,816 others
yourusername boys are SO stupid and it's so endearing and frustrating like u r such a DUMBASS pls let me kiss u on the lips (i did â€ïž)
8,628 comments
username hahahah!!! funny joke babe!!! kids and i and our goat miss u â€ïž
username and like just that my bisexual ass cried tears (i never had a chance)
-> username she's for the girlies every man back OFFFFFF
username going insane over this
username i know logan is in shambles rn like that brother is distraught
-> yourusername he hasn't stopped calling me i had to block his number
-> logansargeant UNBLOCK my number i am your BLOOD
-> yourusername fuck off i will call mom
-> logansargeant have you ever known sanity in your life
-> yourusername have you ever felt loved
-> yourusername sorry can u please tell mom to stop yelling at me it's scary ok
-> username she did NOT need to do him like that
-> username oh that was FOUL
username she's so pretty i simply cannot believe a man can rizz her up
username do we ignore y/n violating her brother like that orrrrr
-> username u are an only child it seems
-> logansargeant it's just that she's mean
-> yourusername go and drown in a pond since u wanna act like a silly goose
username why is charles in the likes he don't even follow her
-> username i have the most funniest and silliest theory and im afraid saying it out loud will send logan into early retirement
alex_albon evil laugh
-> yourusername i pay u ENOUGH. any more and i will have to involve my lawyer WHAT DO U WANT
-> alex_albon ferrari has exceptional pasta
-> yourusername ahahahhajaha what's that got to do with me u little clusterfuck of a twink
-> alex_albon oh! absolutely nothing!
-> username i am screaming what the fuck
-> username "little clusterfuck of a twink" OH MY GOD
username crazy how everything she says is so real idk if that's the fan in me or i am just way too fucking down bad for her
*liked by charles_leclerc*
username love love LOVE see this rep bc my man is such an idiot but it's ok cus he's my princess
-> yourusername YOU GET IT !!!!! he's my princess <3
logansargeant what are you doing
-> yourusername tryna slut him out n then build a lego set w him
-> logansargeant i always knew you would be the one to bring generational shame to our family what is this behaviour
logansargeant what happened to "if i ever talk to a man again i want you to be disappointed in me" ?
-> yourusername u were disappointed in me nonetheless fym
-> logansargeant i
-> maxverstappen1 i can tell we would be great friends yourusername
-> logansargeant no way
logansargeant what happened to BIOLOGY you were supposed to be STUDYING
-> yourusername i did study
-> yourusername his anatomy
-> alex_albon logan just deleted this app i hope you're happy
-> username Y/N PLEASE HESITATE
-> username CRYINF SHE'S SO UNHINGED
username the way i can feel logan's mortification through the screen đđ
username when will it be me
username love to see women in stem (seducing the enigmatic men) idk im proud of her i know she was crying abt not finding the love she read bout
-> yourusername this might be my favourite comment ever i adore u
username prophecy be looking a bit too permanent đ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł who's gonna change it đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł i am on my KNEES đ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
username everyday i learn something new about y/n and everyday i praise the lord that i can exist at the same time as her
*liked by charles_leclerc*
âĄ.;- ê° Â°instagram ê±
liked by yourusername, lewishamilton, maxverstappen1 and 2,629,916 others
charles_leclerc you're in her dms, i wrote a song for her in under a day when we weren't even dating. we are not the same.
12,628 comments
username CRYING WHAT THE FUCK
username oh my god is this real
username CRYING THE SONG IS TOO GOOD
username HIS VLOCE JIS VOICE HIS VLICE HIS VOICE
username going crazy rn what the fuck
username HELLO?????? WHAT IS THIS
username need me a man like this thank u
username too much unpack he has a GIRLFRIEND and it's Y/N
-> username HE PULLS??? HE PULLED HER???
username this is life altering
username shaking from excitement i cannot WAIT for logan to download instagram again and be Surprised
landonorris disgusting
-> charles_leclerc forgive me for not wanting to hide my love âčïž
-> username NAH WHO GOT HIM LIKE THIS
username "thinking bout her eyes every hour she's my wildflower" OH HE'S IN LOVEEEE LOVE
username his voice oh my god
-> username tears dripping down my thighs
-> username OHMYGOD
maxverstappen1 "we are not the same" thank god
-> charles_leclerc bubonic plague đŠ đŠ đŠ đŠ đŠ đŠ đŠ đŠ đŠ đŠ đŠ đŠ đŠ đŠ đŠ đŠ đŠ đŠ đŠ
-> username nurse he's out đŁïžđŁïžđŁïžđŁïž
-> username nah who got him being funny
-> username DID PEOPLE SERIOUSLY NOT LISTEN TO THE SONG
-> username NO WAY THAT'S Y/N AT THE END
-> username "okaaaaaaay" CRYINF I LOVE THEM
username my life has been divided into before this song and after this song and im so grateful for that
username i think the most important thing here is who out of all his friends owns a toyota in which the heat don't work
username crying bc wdym charles wrote a song for his gf when they weren't even dating
username in love with y/n's voice at the end WHY IS THAT SO CUTE
-> username screaming i need this song injected in my veins
yourusername craaaaaaaazy how u never told me that âïž
-> charles_leclerc details details
yourusername cool song
-> charles_leclerc thank you i wrote it for my girlfriend
yourusername AHSHDHDJJSJSJAJS IN LOVE THIS WAS SO GOOD UR VOICE IS INSANE I LOVE IT SO MUCH
-> charles_leclerc THANK YOU !! â€ïž
-> username they make me SICK
-> username calm bf đ€ hyperactive gf
username the most important question is did logan re download this app
-> yourusername he did but then he saw this post, heard the song and deleted it again
-> yourusername he's just bitter i am bsfs with max before him
-> logansargeant disowned
-> yourusername my grad pic on the mantle BEGS to differ !!!!!! u are on the piano u have no room to talk
-> logansargeant i'm pushing you out of this year's christmas card
âĄ.;- ê° Â°twitter ê±
âĄ.;- ê° Â°instagram ê±
liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, maxverstappen1 and 899,527 others
yourusername got him to say he would still love me if i was a worm n now we go on walks and i point at every worm and say sorry i can't be her
tagged charles_leclerc
12,628 comments
username NO WAY THIS JS REAL
username i just want a detailed description of how they met and who asked the other out âïžđ
username my roman empire the fuck
username the way their personalities crash when will it be me
username THE CAPTION IM SCREAMING
username the way she will never let that man know peace and i am so EXCITED
username she's so unhinged i love her
username LET IT ONCE BE ME PLEASEEE
username blocked (im laying on the highway tonight)
username the way i know logan had to be sedated
-> username my man did nothing wrong why are they torturing him đ
alex_albon we're down one driver at williams
-> yourusername is it a good time to tell u that i recently got my license
-> logansargeant YOU FAILED YOUR TEST 5 TIMES FUCK OFFFFFFF
-> yourusername big emotions
-> username im cryinf what do you mean shw faield the test 5 TIMES ????
username LMAOO THE LAST SLIDE đđđ I LOVE HER
username parents dare i say
username max is not happy i can tell
-> yourusername i received a very strongly worded message from him yesterday and the only thing i could make out was that he's a bitch for charles like. a BITCH.
-> maxverstappen1 blasphemy
-> logansargeant NO WAY you're buddies with MAX VERSTAPPEN before ME back OFFFFFF
-> yourusername nurse he is out again đŁïžđŁïžđŁïž
-> username what are they doing to my boy đ
logansargeant y/n please. THINK.
-> yourusername i did
-> logansargeant AND ?
-> yourusername he's nice i will keep him
-> logansargeant NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
-> yourusername god forbid a girl wants to date a questionable man
-> charles_leclerc ?
username crazy how this is the most random couple ever and we're instantly like PARENTS !!!!
-> username i for once love them like the cultural clashes we're gonna get heh
charles_leclerc my love please
-> yourusername my pronouns are she not her because i'll never be her đȘ±
-> charles_leclerc stop
charles_leclerc and can you please tell your brother to hesitate before speaking? he just offered me candy and a dollar to break up with you
-> yourusername FUCK U I AM WORTH WAY MORE THAN CANDY AND A DOLLAR
-> charles_leclerc that is not the issue here
charles_leclerc pretty girl
-> logansargeant keep your thoughts to yourself you hormonal vulgarian
-> yourusername TIME OUT FOR U let my bf live
-> charles_leclerc this is how my life is going to be from now on?
-> yourusername are u complaining (threatening)
-> username i KNOW logan is shaking behind the screen he just called charles leclerc a hormonal vulgarian
-> username sibling rage takes people places they wouldn't go with a gun
username this is hilarious
username logan's likes on twt are mind blowing like what do u MEAN u wish the plague on ur sister đđđđđđđ
-> yourusername u should see what his texts look like
-> yourusername "you need an excoeciscism for the demon in u it might an issue idk" followed by quora links
-> username siblings â€ïž
âĄ.;- ê° Â°instagram ê±
liked by yourusername, logansargeant, carlossainz55 and 2,729,915 others
charles_leclerc silently working on our own little crafts in the same room tonight, queen? â€ïž
tagged yourusername
11,628 comments
username CRYINGGGGG I HATE HIS GUTS
username LET IT ONCE BE ME HOLY SHITTTTTT
username they're so parents it's insane
username he's so relatable bc i too would be obsessed with y/n
username he definitely has one of those t-shirts that say "i â€ïž my gf"
-> yourusername he has one in every colour with diff fonts :((((
-> username GOODBYE
username need me a man who will sit in my general vicinity while we work on our own silly little crafts together
-> username charles might've just set a standard idk NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS
username that text.............im violently ill
username the matching rings wow god really does have favourites
yourusername wait a sec i got 12000% error on my scale
-> landonorris how do you even manage to do that
-> yourusername if u think women don't belong in stem just say that
-> landonorris STOP IT MY PR TEAM IS HUNTING ME DOEN FOR SPROT TAKE JT BACK
-> charles_leclerc shame on you
-> landonorris WJAT DID I DO
-> username crying they're terrorizing people for fun đ
-> username we deserve this
yourusername fighting demons (a degree that i chose to study) to be on my phone bc my BOYFRIEND posted
-> charles_leclerc don't give logan more reasons to send me vaguely veiled threats
-> yourusername he does WHAT
-> logansargeant sending him links on how people got away with murder is HARDLY a threat idk why you're like this
-> username no way they got him UNHINGED
-> username đđđđđ he's so
yourusername MY BABY LEO đđđđđđđđđđđđđđđđđđđđđ
-> charles_leclerc i am right there
-> yourusername so is leo đđđđđđđđđđđđđđđđđđđđ
yourusername are u mitosis bc i never metaphase as cute as urs
-> charles_leclerc i am too dumb to understand this but you are the prettiest
-> yourusername king i am so in love with u
-> logansargeant i judt tfeew up
-> yourusername leave me ALONE
username i hope all the happy couples break up (why couldn't it be me in a relationship)
username SCREAMING HE'S SO DOWN BAD
#f1 x reader#f1 x female reader#f1 imagines#social media au#fake instagram imagines#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc one shot#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc x y/n#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc imagines#charles leclerc instagram au#charles leclerc au#charles leclerc social media au#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#f1 imagine#formula 1 x you#formula one x you#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
gummy bear
â€ïžâ âč childhood bff!yuta okkotsu x f!reader || gummy bear is ur nickname that he gave u as a kid (also, this is yuta when he comes back from africa.. heart eyes)
warnings: both yuta and reader are in their early 20âs, piv sex, creampie, yuta is a virgin but thereâs no corruption kink, childhood bffs to strangers to lovers, men turning into putty, lowkey sub yuta, heâs just down bad for you, freaky ass perv yuta but he fries his very best to be respectful to you, reader is implied to have slightly bigger than average boobs but honestly interpret however youâd like, porn with some plot, not revised lol just horny as always
summary: itâs been a while since youâve seen your childhood best friend, yuta. you havenât seen him since he left high school to be a sorcerer and although you guys tried staying in touch in high school, you havenât heard a single peep from him after he left for africa. you understood him, mutually agreeing that you two were simply growing up and exploring new. however, when yuta comes back a new man, you canât help but feel new feelings growing
ââă»àš ⊠à§ă»ââ
youâd recently moved into a new apartment close to your new boring, but nicely paying, corporate job. on a random tuesday afternoon at the grocery store, you bump into a familiar face you hadnât seen in years, almost not even recognizing him.
âoh shit- iâm so sorry-,â you stumble backwards as you run into what seemed like a human lamp post when you look up to meet a familiar pair of black eyes, accompanied with eye bags. â.. yuta? is that you?â, you almost laugh at the situation, not believing your eyes. he had much longer hair now, deeper eye bags, but still had the same anxious eyes.
âow.. fuck, hey gummy bear, havenât seen you in a while,â yuta looks down almost embarassed from his absence. the nickname rolls off his tongue so easily, like it was naturally your name and it makes u slightly blush.
when you and yuta met as kids, he initially introduced himself only because he wanted one of your gummy bears since it was also his favorite snack. he didnât even learn your name until weeks after you guys were friends, only calling you gummy bear and the nickname sort of just stuck with him. the story always made you let out a dulcet sigh, cherishing the innocent memory.
âitâs not your fault, yuta!â you giggle, âi havenât been really reaching out either.. i guess weâre both busy. how about we uh, catch up?â you suggest.
ââă»àš ⊠à§ă»ââ
it had been a week since you and yuta had been reunited. and you slowly started to notice how attractive heâd grown to be. both you and yuta were sitting on the sole couch inside your nearly empty apartment, unpacked boxes littered everywhere as you procrastinated on putting everything together. enjoying each others presence as you both told stories about things that happened in your lives, you felt a sense of nostalgia washing over you, as if this was what you were missing for so long. you draped your legs over his lap as he lightly ran his hand over them like you guys would always do in high school. would this be something that only best friends did? probably notâŠ
âoh my gosh, yu!â, you gasped, almost wiping a tear away, âyou went through all of that? on your own?â. he stayed humble of course, shyly brushing it off as if it was no biggy.
he couldnât help but trail his eyes over to your tight shirt, encasing the tits that he had not noticed back in high school. he swallowed hard, darting his eyes back to your face. the face that had only grown more gorgeous as you moved into adulthood. have you always been so beautiful?
âcâmon, yu, letâs watch a movie, like old times?â, you laugh. he nervously nodded before you took your laptop, propping it on the coffee table since you havenât installed your TV yet. âsorry for the setup.. erm, well, i mean the lack thereoffâ.
ânah, itâs f-fine, gummy bearâ, he almost audibly gulped as he thanked god that you couldnât see him taking in the sight of your ass pointing at him as you bent over to put on a movie. were you doing this on purpose? yuta had never been the perverted type. hell, heâd never even been the romantic type. you were basically the only girlâ well, human girlâheâd been close to in his life. he averted his eyes as you turn back around. almost crying out loud as you cuddled into his lap, wrapping a blanket around both of you. like old times, right?
you enjoyed how tall yuta had grown (as well as the rest of him), resting your head in the crook of his neck as your back settled into his chest. âi hope this is comfortable, yu.. we havenât done this in a whileâ, you mumble, wiggling to get yourself comfortable as he bites his tongue, praying he didnât get a boner.
yuta instinctively wrapped his arms around your waist, nuzzling his face into your hair, subtly smelling it as he appreciated how your scent never changed. âmâokay, gummy bearâ.
you smiled faltered a bit, having a small realization and shifting slightly off of his lap and onto his thigh instead, facing him. âoh god, i really hope you donât have a girlfriend. we probably shouldnât be doing this if you do!â, you frantically panicked. yuta responded with a curt shake of his head, his body acting before his mind to pull you back onto his lap.
you sighed in relief, wiggling back to your comfortable spot with more of a bounce than you shouldâve. âoh thatâs a relief, yu. i really missed youâ, you mumbled, leaning back against his as your ass pressed against his groin, your hand subtly grazing his thigh. fuck, if he didnât have a boner before he definitely had one now.
he slightly shifted you by your waist with his big, lanky hands, praying to god that you didnât feel his boner. you did.
your eyes widened as you realized that he was getting turned on by whatever youâd been doing. yuta had never been inappropriate with you or even any other girl! your relationship was strictly platonic.. well until now. you wanted him to make up for lost time, for the years heâd been missing from your life. you were on a mission to make him snap.
âmmm, yuta, stop moving me..â you whined, âi was comfortable in my other spotâ. you bounced back, landing right on his bulge as he bit back a whine. âyu, whatâs in your pocket? i feel it against my butt..! you should probably take it out before i squish it or somethingâ, you tease , rubbing your ass so his cock would slide riiight in between your asscheeks.
when yuta looked down at the sight, he nearly came in his pants. his raging boner was in between your asscheeks which were held in the confines of your sweatpants, his hands gripping at your waist as you slightly rubbed against him. the blanket was covering you from the rest of the room, albeit empty, but it felt like he was a high schooler in their house trying to hide being fucking freaky from their family.
âg-gummy bear, please-â he was cut off by your hands moving up to cup your tits through your top, yuta almost, almost, gave them a squeeze but he held it in. you had no idea how much of a pervert he had become from seeing you again, pent up from years of no release and being a damn virgin his whole life.
âwhat, yu? donât wanna cuddle with your best friend?â you inquire, feigning innocent. he then felt your nipples pebbling up underneath his palm. he hadnât noticed earlier since itâd been slightly warm but fuck, you werenât wearing a bra. he threw his head back, feeling like he was a fucking lion clawing inside an enclosure. and you were damn determined to let him out.
you grabbed his hand again, manipulating the pads of his fingers to rub against your nipples through your painfully thin shirt. ânever fucked anyone while you were away, yu?â, you whispered as you felt him shake his head behind you.
âthought so. i mean, you can have all the practice you want with me.. right?â. before you could continue he yanked you up, manhandling you so you were pinned down on the couch.
âstop being a tease, gummy bear.. yâknow i missed you so much, shit.. and you have the gall to grind on my boner? knowing iâm a damn virgin?â he huffed, his face inches from yours, âplease, please, gummy bear. tell me you want this. tell me. if we do this weâll never be just friends again. please, babyâ, he whined.
you grabbed his face with both hands, crashing your lips into his. it felt like a century of pent up feelings had come breaking out like water from a dam. he humped you as if he was a fucking dog, moaning into the kiss. you flip over again, going on top of him as he admired how fucking sexy you looked, hair disheveled, lips slightly swollen, and your lip combo smudged. you scoot down slightly to tug against his pants, eyes widening as his erect, throbbing, cock springing out and slapping against his stomach with a slight pap.
you looked so damn hot and hungry, almost happily touching his cock, but before you could lean down to put your mouth on it, he grabbed your wrist.
âno, no, gummy bear, please, i want it first in your pussy, baby, pleaseâ. he sounded so good begging you took off your sweatpants faster than fucking barry allen. he threw his head back with a groan at the sight of your pussy, if he could, he would jump for joy right now but he was too focused on you.
ânext time, youâre sitting on my fucking face, gummy bearâ, he groaned. next time. you rubbed your pussy on his cock which laid flat against his stomach, his tip leaking precum on his toned abs.
âplease, baby, donât tease me. put it in..â he whined, his hand traveling down to rub at your clit and the other gripping your hip. with a small smile, you lean back, lining up his tip to your entrance, moaning as it caught onto your clit as you rubbed his cock over your hole.
âstop- fuckin teasing.â he grunted as his hips thrusted up, his cock entering your soaking wet pussy as you yelped. he was big. you had some experience with guys in college but no one ever could even reach his caliber of dick. you dropped down completely on his dick, feeling his balls against your ass and his public hair tickling your clit. you didnât even care that he wasnât trimmed and neither did he. fuck, he wouldnât even care if you had a whole forest, i mean, heâs a sorcerer, heâs supposed to explore territory thatâs unseen, right?
âfuck yes, yu! youâre so fucking big!â you yelp, beginning to move as you began to grind on his cock. slightly bouncing on it. yutasâs eyes trailed from your fucked out face to your pert tits, allll the way down to your pussy that had enveloped his dick. you almost wished you put some furniture out because all you could hear was the echos of your moans, yutaâs heaving breathing and whining, the squeaking of the couch, and the wet squelch of your pussy. you were definitely getting a noise complaint filed against you.
he thrusted up again and you let out an obscene whine, squeezing his dick which made him let out a loud, strangled moan. you peered down, noticing that he was starting to fucking cry from how good your pussy was.
ây-yu.. are you- ohh fuck, okay?â you bring your hand down to wipe his tears, peppering kisses on his face.
âs-such a good fucking- f.. FUCK.. pussy..â he groaned out, not even believing that his level of pleasure was possible. you were taken aback by his dirty words, but sighed in relief before he started to continuously thrust up, hitting your cervix over and over again.
yutaâs eyes wandered back to your tits, noticing that theyâd began to slip out of your skimpy top. with one hard thrust, he almost came on the spot when they bounced out of their confines, nipples erect as your tits jiggled perfectly.
âg-gummy bear youâre so.. shit- perfect!â he shoved his face in between your tits as you let out a strangled moan from the extra pleasure. âperfect fucking tits. made just for me. fuck, thank you for waiting for me.. for not dating some fucking loser⊠all for me, yeah? right, gummy?â he lost himself in between your boobs.
âall for you, yuta baby, all for you!â.
âfuck- FUCK- gummy bear, cum with me, i can feel your pussy clenching, please baby, please cum with meâ
he gave your tit one more sick before the coil in your stomach snapped, making you squirt for the first time in your life.
âfuck yes, gummy bear, squirt all over me, make a mess, baby yes, where do you want me?â
âi-inside please..â you were nearly crying as well from the overstimulation.
âdonât say that baby- fuck- you drive me crazy, gummy bear, iâm gonna cum in you, fuck yeah,â he groaned before thrusting up harshly one last time, his thrusts calming to slow, shallow humping. he pulled out, admiring how well your pussy took him as you whimpered from the new empty feeling. you huffed, thinking he was satisfied.
âyou didnât think i was done, right, gummy bear?â, he smiled, his almost eerie eyes peering up at you as he pulled you up, making you plop right on top of his face.
ââgotta keep my promise. my best friend was waiting for me at home all these years, after allâ
#yuta okkotsu x reader#yuta okkotsu#yuta okkotsu smut#jjk smut#jjk x reader smut#jjk x reader#yuta smut#needy men apocalypse#i love when men whimper#rina journal đ#okkotsu yuuta#yuuta x reader#yuuta okkotsu smut
720 notes
·
View notes
Text
đŹđš đđŠđđ«đąđđđ§ â đŠđŻđ
summary: where max verstappen is the subject of a love song from a singer who never writes love songs pairing: max verstappen x american singer!reader faceclaim: no one specifically but based off olivia rodrigo
note: me? writing max verstappen? smau fluff? on main? everyone look away.
dailyynupdates
liked by user33, user4, user16 and others
dailyynupdates yn was seen around monte carlo the past few days, taking pictures with fans and allegedly cozying up with three time world champion max verstappen
view all 104,210 comments...
user12 what is going on in the house of commons because this was the last thing i expected
user39 this is quite literally the most random pairing i've ever stumbled across
user91 how do they even know each other đ user63 right like...where did this even come from? how did it start? literally how did they meet? they could not be farthest apart in the sphere of famous people
user19 now who the hell is max verstappen and why is he with my wife?
user49 oh girl you have a lot to catch up on the max lore user71 max is a formula one driver user56 saying max is a formula 1 driver like he currently isn't dominating the sport to the point where people hates him saying he's making it boring since he keeps winning because he's just that fucking good that literally no other driver can keep up is kinda wild user10 oh so our girl's new man is good at his job user52 "good at his job might just be the biggest understatement of the century when it comes to max. man's a fucking beast at his job
user48 i dont have to see her with her ratty ex anymore omfg war is over
user93 dare i say...they're adorable
user82 yn being in an age appropriate, healthy relationship? i never thought the day would come
user74 we won for real đ„čđ«¶
dailyynupdates
liked by user23, user31, user69 and others
dailyynupdates max and yn in a video posted by yn's friend đ
view all 59,129 comments...
user93 oh my god look at them đ
user81 they look so in love i want to cry
user65 "maximillian, do i look pretty like this?" "you always look pretty" i couldn't quite catch what he said at the end but đđđ
user85 dutch here and i believe he said "laiverd" which means darling user75 this means so much to me user65 you just made my entire week
user45 seeing her in love after all the shit men is healing a part of me i didnt know was broken
user53 max fixing her hood then kissing her cheek what if you just stabbed me
user31 every time i see these, i get the urge to take a shot of bleach đ
sincerelyyn â
liked by conangrey, maxverstappen1, taylorswift and others
sincerelyyn can't have a conversation if it's not all about you
view all 402,452 comments...
yourfriend as the other person of those conversations, he's fine i guess đ
sincerelyyn you know i love youuuuu
taylorswift love seeing you happy â€ïž
sincerelyyn â€ïžâ€ïž user73 mother is all of us user63 you know it's real when it's taylor swift approved
conangrey i hate happy couples i hope you both trip đ«¶
sincerelyyn die đ«¶
user92 their friendship is everything to me
user15 not girlie trying to soft launch like we all don't know who it is đ
user43 THEYRE SO âŒïžđ„”đ„°â ïž
user65 you're so right
user24 i'm so happy finally seeing our girl happy đ
user84 "someday i'll be everything to somebody else" YES YOU ARE BABYGIRL đ
maxverstappen1
liked by sincerelyyn, charles_leclerc, landonorris and others
maxverstappen1 my american girl đ©·
view all 308,291 comments...
charles_leclerc i still can't believe this is happening
maxverstappen1 for someone who don't even follow me, you sure are early to my posts đ user91 max gagged him with that im afraid
landonorris please please max talk to her about getting me tickets đ
user85 lando is just like us fr struggling to get guts tour tickets maxverstappen1 no â€ïž landonorris đ sincerelyyn @landonorris let me get you in contact with my team đ€ maxverstappen1 baby noooo sincerelyyn be nice, max landonorris HELL YEAH THANKS YN user42 this is the crossover i never thought i needed
user66 max posting non racing content and being all soft in the comments for yn in what world am i in
user52 fr i feel like im in an alternate universe đ
sincerelyyn love youuuu
maxverstappen1 love you more
sincelyyn i never knew love could be so golden till i met you <3
maxverstappen1 mijn hele hart is van jou, schat (you own my entire heart, darling) user42 they mean so very much to me đ
danielricciardo god the two of you make me nauseous
maxverstappen1 hating because you ain't us danielricciardo im not liking that attitude, kid đ user71 daniel is so us
sincerelyyn
liked by maxverstappen1, taylorswift, yourfriend and others
sincerelyyn so american will be out on all platforms at midnight. a letter to the man i love, the only way i know how â€ïž
view all 592,649 comments...
maxverstappen1 i adore you with everything in my being â€ïž
sincerelyyn ik hou van je (i love you)
i hope you guys liked this as much as i loved writing it đ«¶
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#f1 social media au#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen instagram au#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen#max verstappen fluff
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
rubber duck
in which reader is sick and spencer takes care of his girl!!
fluff (18+ for nudity) warnings/tags: reader referred to as girl, non-sexual undressing + nudity/intimacy, reader takes bath, spencer doesn't but he is in fact present a/n: heeeeyyy guys.... sorry for not posting for a month... accept this as a token of my gratitude and know that smut is in the works. keep sending requests, might not answer them but you never knoww!!
Spencer gets home around ten PM. Granted, itâs not a completely unreasonable time for someone to be asleep, but for you? A person whoâd rather not go to bed at all than wake up before eight in the morning? You being passed out on the couch at this time is definitely abnormal. Â
He drops his bag on the coffee table as he approaches, kneeling next to where youâre curled up in the dark room. Part of him doesnât want to wake you if youâre tired, but heâs mildly concerned. Normally after him being away all week youâll stay up until he gets home regardless of how late (or early) it is. Ambient light coming in through the window allows him to see the sickly sheen to your skin, and he feels your forehead with the back of his hand.Â
âSpence?â you murmur, trying to blink the sleep out of your eyes. His response is equally quiet, wavering slightly.Â
âHey. Are you feeling okay, angel?âÂ
Even though you decidedly are not, your spirit lifts considerably at the sight of him in front of you. A wave of caramel hair falls over his furrowed brow as he scans your face, looking for signs that something is wrong. You brush it away, hand coming to rest on his cheek.Â
âIâm fine. I missed you a lot.âÂ
Your voice is a paper-thin whisper, giving you away even as you try to downplay your condition.Â
âI missed you too, but Iâm a little worried. Youâre pretty warm.â His eyes dart away from your face and down your body, seeming to notice your attire for the first time. âDid you go to work?âÂ
âI tried to. But I had to come home at early. I guess I didnât make it all the way to bed.âÂ
This seems to worry him even more, if the way his eyes narrow and the line of his mouth tightens is anything to go by. Â
âHow long have you been asleep?âÂ
âWell... what time is it?â you ask sheepishly, still disoriented.Â
â10:20.âÂ
âOh god,â you moan, burying your face into a pillow (which does not make breathing any easier through all the congestion), âIâve been sleeping for eight hours!â Panic wells in your chest at the ridiculous notion that you somehow lost an entire day to sleep.  "I didn't mean to-"
âShh, relax, it's fine. Your immune system works a lot more efficiently when youâre asleep. Itâs the best thing you can do when youâre sick. Studies show that melatonin may actually be an effective antiviral, and people who sleep seven hours a night are 300% less likely to develop an illness than people who sleep only five hours a night.âÂ
Despite yourself, you smile into the pillow at his unprompted information dump.
âSo... am I... 500% more likely to be better tomorrow?âÂ
He laughs, running a hand through your hair.Â
âI donât even know where you got that number.âÂ
âI failed statistics in high school,â you mutter, pushing yourself up onto an elbow.Â
âHoney, thatâs Algebra.âÂ
You bury your face in your hand and laugh at your own stupidity- before it devolves into a coughing fit. Â
âUgh, Iâm sorry. I know you hate germs,â you say once youâve managed to get the coughing under control. You look at his face, but there are no signs of disgust or fear.Â
âI could never hate your germs. But I am worried about the cough... do you think a bath would help?âÂ
You mull it over. Part of you wants to rot on the couch forever, but the more rational part knows you should definitely get up and try to take care of yourself. With a helping hand from Spencer you rise, stumbling into his waiting arms like a foal on shaky legs. Immediately you feel fatigued, but he patiently guides you to the bedroom and sits you on the mattress before disappearing into the adjoining bathroom.Â
For a few minutes the only sound aside from you catching your breath is the tub filling from the other room. Soon he returns, to find you curled up on the bed and barely conscious once more.Â
âOh, sweetheart,â he sighs, gathering you up in his arms and helping you to your feet once more. âYou really donât feel good, huh?âÂ
You shake your head, allowing yourself to be carefully herded into the bathroom. Spencer moves to sit on the edge of the steaming tub, pulling you forward gently by your belt loops. Deftly he begins to undo your jeans as you fumble with the buttons on your shirt.Â
âI feel like Iâm dying,â you groan. He glances up at you.
âI wish you would have told me you were sick. I would have come home earlier.â Â
âI thought about it,â you admit sheepishly, âbut I figured better I be sick and alone than more people potentially end up dead because Iâm too needy.âÂ
Your boyfriend sighs, resting his hands on your hips as he looks up at you with a mix of earnestness and admonishment. Â
âAt least tell me next time. I donât like the idea of you here all alone without anyone knowing youâre ill.â His fingers press gently into your flesh to emphasize his point. âOkay?âÂ
âOkay,â you agree softly, without hesitation. Spencerâs expression softens too, and he leans forward to press a kiss to your sternum.Â
âIn,â he directs after you wiggle out of your jeans, getting out of the way and helping you into the water. He watches as you carefully submerge yourself, a little tense as if heâs ready to jump into action at any second. âIs it too warm? I tried not to make it too hot because your body temperature is al-âÂ
âItâs perfect,â you reassure, sinking further in. Steam billows up around you and you sniff. âLavender?âÂ
Spencer nods, settling on the floor next to you.Â
âAnd mint. Iâm surprised you can actually smell it.âÂ
Normally youâd tease him for his fussing, but the minty steam really does seem to be helping you breathe a bit easier. After only a few minutes, you feel noticeably better.Â
âWill you read to me?â you ask dropping your head to your shoulder to look at him.Â
Heâs leaning against the wall and monitoring you with a contented look on his face. At the suggestion his eyebrows raise.Â
âOf course. What do you want to hear?âÂ
âFairytales. But only the super gory ones. The more disturbing the better.âÂ
âWhat? No Jane Austen?âÂ
âUgh, no. I need to hear about terrible things happening to beautiful princesses so I can feel seen.âÂ
A small smirk graces his lips as he regards you, eyes sparkling with humor and thinly veiled affection.Â
âYou are utterly ridiculous.âÂ
âYou have to be nice to me when Iâm sick,â you whine, slinking lower into the bubbles. Spencer hums in sympathy, running his hand through the water to check the temperature before trailing his knuckles over your arm.Â
âMy poor sick girl,â he teases. You huff indignantly, attempting to hide the way his words make you melt into the bathwater.Â
âJust get the book, Spencer.âÂ
âYes maâam.â He kisses your forehead (covertly gauging your fever, youâre sure) before pushing off the ground. You watch him leave, heart overflowing with adoration even though you still feel sick. Maybe itâs the bath thatâs helping, or maybe itâs just his presence. Â
A minute later he returns to his post beside you bearing Grimmâs Fairytales and a tall glass of water, which he tells you to drink all of before he starts reading. Regardless of how unwell you feel, you find the energy to make sarcastic comments about the charactersâ intelligence and the implausibility of the plot (itâs a fairytale, Spencer reminds you) but soon the soothing cadence of his voice enthralls you. The illustrations and the story capture your imagination as you rest your head and arms on the side of the tub.Â
More time has gone by than you realize when you begin to shiver in the now lukewarm water. Spencer notices, finally setting the book down.Â
âReady to get out?âÂ
You nod and he helps you step out of the tub, pulling you close and wrapping you with a fluffy towel. Absolutely no heed is given to the state of his own clothing as your wet skin soaks his shirt, or his own health as he breathes in your air.Â
âIâm gonna get you sick, Spence,â you say anxiously, making a feeble attempt to pull away. Spencer doesnât even begin to allow it, holding you even tighter. The honesty of his words is reflected in his eyes as he looks down at you adoringly.Â
âI can live with the idea of spending a few days at home together.âÂ
You lean into him further, too tired to hold much of your own weight up.Â
âI canât believe you have to intentionally get sick to get time off work.âÂ
âYouâre definitely worth it.â He kisses the top of your head and rubs your back for a moment. Â
âAnd to think,â you muse, the words muffled by his shirt, "when we first met, you wouldnât even shake my hand.âÂ
#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#criminal minds fic
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Texts that break my fucking heart because I just want to see my old boss again and if it doesnât work out this week after I missed the September event itâs going to be the fucking death of me :((
#you guys donât get to know what stuff sheâs doing bc itâs a secret but Iâm basically part of the family so I get to know#I know because of the mental illness I donât react to things correctly but how is she gonna tell me she loves me and Iâm the best intern#sheâs ever had and then we canât even figure out a way to see each other again :(((#maybe ill go back to school a day early if this doesnât work out. I miss her so badly#she was my best friend for a whole summer and I lowkey trauma bonded to her bc of my grandpa like. I want to see her again#girl can you please tell them to let you go home on Thursday so I can see you#diary post#maybe Iâll go to her husbands workplace and just hang out with him all day. actually that would be really funny if I did that#heâd look out the window and be like âI see you havenât gotten any better at parkingâ#god I even miss him. I just want to be back there with the people I adore#oh well. sorry for a mopey post#I actually had two other mopey posts today that I ended up deleting#so really you guys should be proud of my ability to not post bullshit all day long
0 notes
Note
The reader and Hugh are in bed in the morning and the reader has to get up for work but Hugh doesn't want her to leave so pulls her back in bed in a big bear hug and she calls In sick đ
bad influence (one-shot)
summary: already running late for work, hugh convinces you to call in sick. pairing: hugh jackman x fem!reader tags / warnings: fluff, brief suggestive sexual content (18+), no use of y/n word count: 913 a/n: to the anon who sent this in - i'm so sorry it took me a while to post this! hope you enjoy regardless. and as always, this is purely fictional! i mean no disrespect to hugh jackman.
You awake with a jolt, glancing at the clock and realizing that youâve slept through your alarm. You glance over to the man next to you whoâs stirring awake at your sudden movements. Heâs lying on his back, shirtless with an arm behind his head as his eyes slowly begin to flutter open.Â
âOh my god, Iâm going to be late!â you exclaim, trying to scramble out of bed and bringing the sheet with you. Last night had been amazing and you hadnât expected to spend the night with Hugh. It had only been your third date with him, but throughout the night, there had been a lingering tension of what the night would bring.Â
When he invited you back to his place after dinner, you were excited to accept. To be able to spend uninterrupted time with him behind closed doors without worrying about someone asking for a picture or an autograph was something you were looking forward to. You had both been sitting on the couch â you with your glass of wine and him with his â before the effects of alcohol coursed through your veins and gave you the courage to straddle his lap.Â
He had looked up at you in surprise, but with an excited look in his eyes. Hugh had immediately rested his hands on your hips and groaned to himself when you pressed yourself further into him. He wanted to be a gentleman, wanted to be respectful of you and your boundaries, but the more time he spent with you, the more he found it difficult to keep the pent up frustration to himself. His hand could only do so much and he was finding that he needed more relief. He needed you.Â
So, when you agreed to come over to his place, Hugh was excited. Not only because of what could happen, but because he was starting to like you more and more with each date. He didnât want to scare you away, but you had promised him that his lifestyle wouldnât deter you from pursuing a relationship with him. And it was true. When fans came up to him, you gave him the space and distance he needed but also went so far as to offer to take the picture for the fans; you knew how important Hughâs fans were to him.Â
When the paparazzi would follow him, youâd be right there by his side, just as polite and kind as he was. He knew that not many people could fit into his life, especially after the success of Deadpool & Wolverine, but you managed to fit in so well â like you had always belonged by his side.Â
And last night⊠Well last night was amazing. Falling asleep with you in his arms had lulled him to a deep slumber and it had been a very long time since he had a good nightâs rest. Hugh had convinced you to just spend the night, that heâd wake up early today to make sure you leave on time for work, but he was just too comfortable. Too relaxed with you by his side that he had slept through his own alarm too.Â
When he hears you mumble under your breath, followed by your sudden movements, Hugh slowly opens his eyes. He sees you from the corner of his eyes lifting the sheet above your chest, covering yourself. He grins to himself, having remembered that you both had fallen asleep naked.Â
âWhat are you doing?â he whispers, the hand behind his head reaching out to gently rest on your lower back as you sit up.Â
âIâm going to be late for work, Hugh,â you answer. âI should be at home, already on the way to leave andââ
âTake the day off,â Hugh interjects, eyes gazing up at you. âSpend it with me.â
âHugh, I canât. I have a big project that I need to get done.â
âWill it be done today?â Hugh asks.
âWell, no, butââ
âThen at least youâll have something you can do tomorrow.â Hugh smirks.
You shake your head and go to climb out of his large bed before his arm snakes around your waist to pull you back into bed. He turns on his side and pulls your body flush against him as your back rests against his chest.Â
âHughâŠâ you whisper, feeling his naked body press against you from behind. You can feel his lower half begin to harden, begin to stir awake at the close proximity.Â
âCall in sick, baby,â he mumbles, lips lowering to pepper soft kisses along the back of your bare shoulder. Hughâs hand slowly dips lower past your abdomen, inching closer and closer to the place between your legs.Â
âYouâre a bad influence,â you whimper, rolling back into him as your hand reaches down to grip his wrist.Â
Hugh grins against you, leaning up to gently nibble at your earlobe. âIâll take as much time with you as I can get, baby. Now, let me have my breakfast, yeah?âÂ
Youâre about to ask him what he means before he moves to hover above you, lowering himself further and further down the bed until he disappears underneath the sheets. You feel his breath against the inside of your leg and when he licks a stripe up the center of your sex, your back arches and you reach down to grip onto his hair.Â
âGod, good morning to me,â you whisper, eyes falling shut as you let out a quiet moan.Â
---
forever taglist: @haytchee @wolverigrl
#hugh jackman#hugh jackman requests#hugh jackman fanfiction#hugh jackman fanfic#real person fiction#rpf#hugh jackman x fem!reader#hugh jackman x reader#story: bad influence
349 notes
·
View notes
Text
TRY AGAIN â JJH
PAIRING: jaehyun x female reader SUMMARY: if you could have it your way, you'd never have to see, hear, or even think about jeong jaehyun ever again. a fortuitous blind date, and that same dimpled smile after all those years, is somehow enough to make you reconsider. maybe he was always meant to be by your side. GENRE: exes to lovers! au, slight coworkers! au, romance, angst, slow burn, humour, some pining, a touch of smut WARNINGS: swearing, alcohol consumption, too many descriptions of coffee and wine, mentions of sex, general mature content and themes, reader is not good at talking about her feelings, joy x doyoung, i try to write about the complexity of relationships and personal growth (i fail miserably) WORD COUNT: 32.4k NOTE: oh. my god. it's finally here! there's certainly something different about writing for your ult. office scenes inspired by the internship i did at a big 4 firm that ended up rejecting everyone from my department (yes i'm still bitter). i actually wanted to get this out back in august to celebrate jolo but alas, Life. i guess this is a parting gift? (jaehyun i am nothing and nobody without you.) i poured a lot of heart into this fic and posting it feels like letting my child go out into the world alone... be safe my darling xx
You shouldâve brought an umbrella.Â
The early evening sky was darkening faster than usual, ominous grey clouds hovering between the skyscrapers like an unspoken but imminent threat. Though the ground was still dry, you had a feeling it wouldnât be for long. Your haste to leave your apartment this morning had robbed you of the good sense to check the weather forecast, mind too preoccupied with tonightâs agenda to spare a thought for the possible torrential downpour that summer seemed to be so fond of.Â
A glance down at your feet sent a twinge of annoyance through you. Of course you picked the black pumps to wear today. They were pretty, which was why you had slipped them on in the first place, wanting to make a good impression even if you told yourself you didnât really care that much, but they were also expensive, and you did not want to get them wet. You said a silent prayer. Hopefully the impending rain would be kind to the leather.
âYou better not be flaking,â Joy warned, voice crackling through your phone speaker. âI donât really care what he thinks of you for not showing up, but itâll reflect badly on me, and I canât have that.â
You suppressed a smile. Ever the drama queen.
âI am literally walking out of the station right now. The Italian place, right?â you asked, pausing for a moment at the top of the stairs to gather your surroundings. The restaurant she had picked out wasnât exactly an unknown location to you, but it had been a while since you last visited, and the buildings seemed to look back at you with a dazed unfamiliarity.
She gave an affirmative hum. âTwo streets down from the exit. The reservation is under my name, but I think he might be there already.â
âYippee. How exciting.â
There was a loud sigh from the other end of the line, and you could almost hear her rolling her eyes at you. âYou do know I set this up with your best interests at heart, right?â
âAre you sure itâs not because you were bored and needed to use some poor soul for your own entertainment?â
âHey, Iâm not the one who put three packets of salt in Jungwooâs coffee,â she fired back.Â
Okay, maybe that one was on you. But it had been pretty funny seeing him spit it out all over the office kitchen counter and then meticulously clean up the mess with paper towels, all the while eyeing everyone on your floor with suspicion.
âIâm just saying,â she continued, âgive him a chance. I think you guys could really like each other.â There was a pause. âPlus, heâs super fucking hot. Like if I wasnât happily taken I would be climbing him like a tree.â
âGross. Iâm filing a complaint with HR.â
âReporting me to my own department? Iâll make sure that file never even makes it through the portal,â she cackled at your empty threat, and you joined in with her. âSeriously though, just give him a chance. At least stay until the mains come out.â
âFine,â you acquiesced, though you made sure she heard the huff that accompanied it. âBut if he starts talking about cryptocurrency I am leaving.âÂ
Joy only laughed, assuring you he probably wouldnât, and bid you goodbye with a parting command for you to enjoy yourself.Â
On days like these, you couldnât decide whether you were grateful or unlucky to have been placed on a team with her for your first project at the company. Technically speaking, Joy was your senior by almost two years, but even at that first daily stand-up half a year ago, filled with nervous smiles and clumsy introductions, you had the feeling the two of you would gel. By the time that first project wrapped up, the two of you had long progressed past mere co-workers, having bonded over 8-hour days of Powerpoint formatting and your mutual dislike of olives. You had never been more thankful for someone so vivacious to show you the ropes, and help you settle into the new environment with such ease.
However, Joy was a meddler.
Her meddling was what had you currently navigating the crumbly asphalt in your nicest shoes to meet the apparent hunk she had set you up with. You didnât know much about the guy since she refused to give you his name, afraid youâd search him up on social media and then make up some excuse to back out once you had seen his face â like you had done with the previous two that sheâd picked out for you.
Apparently, this one was from the Digital department, and had been at the company for a little over a year. Those were two out of the three pieces of information that she had deigned to bestow upon you, the third being that he had dimples, which she thought youâd appreciate.
Oh, and now the fourth one being that he was âsuper fucking hotâ.
Who knew? Maybe you would enjoy yourself. Getting back into the dating scene was pretty low on your priorities, with your career and trying to stick to a consistent gym routine taking up the majority of your time, but you were never opposed to a bit of fun.Â
Maybe Mr Super-Fucking-Hot could be a bit of fun.Â
Just take it easy, you thought to yourself, spotting the glass windows of the restaurant as you rounded the corner. Il Giardino, read the sign that hung above the door. Cute.
Hastily, you shifted your bag and cardigan to the other arm and smoothed out the creases in your black trousers. You had tried for something a little dressy, but also office-appropriate since you were coming straight from work, and not like you had tried too hard and spent an unnecessary number of hours thinking about what to wear on this stupid blind date. Another quick glance at your reflection in the window, just to make sure there was no food or lipstick in your teeth, and you pushed past the door.
Soft jazz filtered through your ears as you stepped inside. The restaurant was nicely decorated, a few vintage Italian posters hanging on the exposed brick walls, and an overall rustic feel that paired well with the warm, earthy ambience. Judging by the patrons already seated, this place was a popular date night location, with all but one table occupied by couples sharing soft touches and flirty smiles over half-filled glasses of red wine.
Joy certainly knew how to pick a spot.
You gave the smiling hostess Joyâs name for the reservation, managing a weak smile of your own when she informed you that the other half of your party had already arrived, and followed her through the tables further into the restaurant. Outside, the first few raindrops had begun to splatter against the asphalt, slowly darkening the road with wet patches that were sure to grow into puddles. It seemed you had arrived just in time to escape the rain.
The hostess stopped at a more private table towards the back, and gestured towards the empty seat with that same welcoming smile. Mystery man, aka Mr Super-Fucking-Hot, was sat with his back to you, leafing through what you assumed to be the drinks menu. His silhouette from behind was alright-looking, you supposed, if you really had to put a label to it, but there was something vaguely familiar about the shape of his head. Perhaps you had crossed paths in the office lobby before?
You approached the table, trying to sneak a peek of him out of the corner of your eye, just to see if he lived up to Joyâs oh-so-generous description, without being so painfully obviousâ
And froze.
âIs everything alright?â the hostess asked, still beaming at you.Â
You barely heard her through the cotton wool that seemed to suddenly fill your ears, hands instantly clamming up as you took in the man in front of you. His warm eyes widened a fraction of a millimetre with recognition, quickly followed by something else you couldnât place.
This was not happening.
âIs everything okay?â the hostess tried again. The corners of her mouth were beginning to slip, and she cast you a mildly concerned glance.
How strange you must have looked, standing stock-still beside your reserved table like a statue. The only things that could dispel the notion you had suddenly turned into stone were the light flush to your cheeks, and the deafening pounding of your own heart that you were sure the whole restaurant could hear.
âEverythingâs fine, just give us a minute please,â Jaehyun finally said, flashing the hostess a kind smile. She took her cue to leave, but not without another curious look between the two of you, hurriedly brushing away the waiter who was approaching the table and preparing to rattle off the specials.Â
Hearing his voice seemed to break the spell that had rendered you so immobile. You straightened, shifting your bag higher up your shoulder, and turned to leave. Whatever this was, you were not entertaining it.
Chair legs screeched abruptly against the floor.Â
âWait,â he pleaded.Â
Your eyes landed on his hand latched around your wrist first, before they moved to his face again. Slowly, his fingers loosened, but he kept you in his hold.Â
âWill you sit, please?â he asked softly.Â
You looked at him. Really looked at him, taking in his full, straight brows, the slope of his nose, the pinkness of his lips. His cheeks had slimmed since you had last seen him, allowing the sharpness of his jaw to really come through. Breathtakingly handsome as he always had been. A little older, a little more masculine, and yet somehow still the same.
And maybe because you still saw him, the boy that you loved, the first and likely only boy you had ever truly loved, you did sit, sliding into your chair like it was made of ice.
âItâs been a while,â he began, lowering back into his seat. You gave no indication that you had heard him at all, eyes focused on the flickering tealight candle at the centre of the table. The wax was a pinkish red colour, and the light scent coming from it was sweet, with a touch of tartness. Pomegranate, maybe. At your silence, he cleared his throat and tried again. âHow have youââ
âDid you plan this?â
He pulled back a bit, as if in genuine shock. âNo, I swear, I had no idea it was you. Joy only told me it was someone from her department, and that you were pretty, and she thought youâd be my type.â A pause. âDid you?â
Your reply was icy. âWhy would I plan to see you?â
He looked away at that, sucking in a breath through his teeth. You were probably mistaken, but something akin to hurt flashed in those eyes as he gave a short nod at your words. Likely a trick of the light. It was a little too dim in here. What reason would he have to be hurt? Why would he be bleeding when you were the one with cuts all over your hands from picking up the glass shards of your own broken heart?
An uncomfortable beat passed. âWell, Iâd say it was nice to see you, but you know Iâm not good at lying,â you said. Shouldnât have sat down in the first place.
Grabbing your bag and cardigan, you made to stand up again, regretting your decision to come here, regretting giving in to Joy so easily, regretting leaving the house this morning without a stupid fucking umbrella. The drizzle outside had turned into a downpour in no time, and the street drains were definitely going to clog up tonight.Â
Seoul and its fucking summer monsoon season.
âCan we justâplease, can youâfuck. Can we have dinner and just talk? As friends?â His hand shot out across the table, as if itching to grab yours again, but thought better of it, letting his fingertips rest against the edges of the linen napkin you hadnât even bothered to unfold.Â
A refraction of light from his sleeve caught your eye. His cufflinks. He was wearing the cufflinks you had gotten him for your high school graduation all those years ago.Â
They had been expensive. Four months of pay from your part-time job at the ice-cream parlour was just enough for the pale pearls set in sterling silver. You supposed it would have been silly of him to throw them away when they were so valuable. It wasnât like you had thrown away the gold pendant he had given you either. That necklace hadnât hung around your neck for a long time, but it still sat somewhere in the depths of your jewellery box, underneath all the newer ones you had bought for yourself or received from friends over the years.
âFine,â you found yourself saying. âSure. As friends. Why not?âÂ
Sinking back into your seat, you reached for the wine menu immediately. Enduring the next hour in the company of your ex-boyfriend without a drink? Unbearable. As much as you liked to convince yourself you were over him, from your behaviour tonight it was clear you most certainly were not, and only alcohol could soothe that blow to your pride.
Your eyes flitted down the page of reds, then the whites, then the sparklings. Christ, the prices in this place were not pretty. Joy would have to be in a completely separate tax bracket from you if these were the kinds of establishments she frequented.Â
For a brief moment, you thought about ordering the most expensive bottle on the list â a Penfoldâs 2018 Shiraz â just to be spiteful, but decided against it. If you were really going to be sharing a meal âas friendsâ, he would not be footing the entire bill. You wouldnât let him.
The waiter, under the impression that things had somewhat cooled down, finally approached your table, albeit a bit cautiously. Hearing but not really listening, you let him sing praises about the wild mushroom ravioli, ordering it just to save yourself the effort of reading through the rest of the menu. When he reached the beverages portion of his spiel, you settled for a more reasonable bottle, a 2021 merlot.
It was only once he had left to put your orders in that you realised that you had not even checked if Jaehyun was driving tonight.
âIâll pay for the wine, if youâre not drinking,â you said, fiddling with your napkin. You could probably finish the whole bottle yourself anyway. Maybe that would make it easier to look him in the eye.
âYou really donât need to do that,â he replied, voice soft but firm. The weight of his eyes on you was almost a tangible thing. âIâll have a glass.â
Your waiter returned, making a show of uncorking the bottle before pouring it out into both your glasses. You couldnât down the first one fast enough, draining half the contents in one long mouthful like it was your first taste of water after finishing a marathon. Jaehyun was more deliberate with his glass, taking only a few small sips before he set it down on the table again. If he noticed the speed at which you emptied yours, which it was pretty hard not to with the way you were gulping the wine down, he said nothing.
God, this was fucking awkward.
âSo,â he began, trying to mask the crack of his voice with a cough, âwhat made you agree to this thing?â
You reached for the bottle. âFelt like I owed it to Joy,â you said, pouring yourself another glass. âI flaked out of the last two she organised.âÂ
Maybe you should have just gone on that first one with Taehyung, or Taehyun, or whatever his name was. Then you could have avoided this situation altogether.Â
âSo you do this kind of thing a lot, then?â came his careful question.
You were curt. âNo.âÂ
He blinked a few times, the movements slow with confusion at the abruptness of your answer. You knew you were being difficult. You wanted to be. Five years could heal most things, but unspoken words could linger like splinters under your fingernails, festering below the surface. Calluses had hardened over the splinters of your breakup, tough and protective, but now it was as if they were pushing through to the surface again, your fingers newly tender at the sight of him after all those years.Â
A small part of you wanted to give him a taste of your hurt, wanted him to feel the prick of tiny wood chips in the flesh behind his nail beds. The larger part, however, knew malice would do no good for you. You had survived the pain. There was no reason to survive poison as well.
âNo, I donât,â you tried again, a little softer, a little less jagged around the edges. âI think she just likes to set them up for fun. This is my first time on one of these blind uhâŠâ The word date sat heavy on the tip of your tongue but refused to budge. âOne of these things.â Maybe another mouthful of wine would wash it down.
âHer definition of fun can be rather interesting,â he said, politely filling the silence.
You hummed in agreement, raising the freshly filled wine glass to your mouth again as you scrambled around in your head for something, anything to say. It had been a while since you had last been out on the dating scene, and you were well aware of it, but good grief, it was like your conversational skills had evaporated into thin air.
âHow do you know Joy?â was what you decided on after a deliberately slow sip.
Thankfully, Jaehyun seemed to still know how to carry a conversation. âSheâs one of the HR reps for Digital, so weâve spoken a few times before. And her boyfriend is a friend from university.â He paused to take a sip of his wine. âHave you met him?â
You shook your head lightly. âNo, not yet. Hoping to, soon.âÂ
âYouâll like him. Doyoungâs a great guy. Patience of a saint.â
âHeâd have to be to keep up with her,â you said, hints of a chuckle sprinkled in your voice.Â
Something about the fact that he was already privy to more of Joyâs personal life than you were had a sliver of jealousy wriggling in your stomach. She was supposed to be your friend, and yet you knew very little about Doyoung besides his name, while your ex-boyfriend across from you had been buddy-buddy with him for probably years and years. Not that it was a competition to see who held more information about their coworker outside the office, but the feeling that you were somewhat losing didnât sit well.
âItâs actually my first time on a blind date as well,â he said, allowing himself a tentative smile. âYou know how convincing she can be. I mean, I donât think Iâd ever go on one if she hadnât roped me in. It feels a bit silly meeting up with a complete stranger, you know?â He turned his smile to you, still tentative but coloured with a tinge of hopefulness, like he wanted you to understand, like he knew you would.Â
How could you not? There had once been a time where you believed that you and Jaehyun had been two halves of the same soul, carved into existence from the same stone. There had once been a time where you knew him almost better than he knew himself.Â
A time rather distant from now.
You kept your answer non-committal. âSure,â you murmured, wishing his pretty face wouldnât fall so quickly at your nonchalance, wishing you hadnât caught the slightest droop to the curve of his mouth. Everything about him was still too familiar. âIâm just a bit surprised to hear that, I guess. You were so desperate to meet new people back then.â
Three seconds passed in silence.Â
His eyes dropped to his lap, as did yours to your own. This previously reasonable bottle of merlot was loosening your lips rather unreasonably.
âSorry, that wasââ Unnecessary? Mean?Â
True?Â
âI didnât mean to say that,â you finally managed, the words spilling out of your mouth in a tumbled rush.Â
Or maybe you had.Â
Jaehyun could only flash you a weak smile. âItâs fine,â he said, though you both knew it wasnât really.
Frigidity returned to the air between you, stopped just short of freezing over by the reappearance of your waiter, along with a plate of goatâs cheese arancini. Jaehyun politely gestured for you to eat first, watching as you speared the crusty surface with your fork and moved it over to your own plate. For a few seconds, the only noises that could be heard from the table were the clinks and clanks of stainless steel utensils against ceramic plates. The arancini could not have come at a better time, affording both of you the opportunity to hide behind the guise of eating, and put off the need to make strained conversation, even if the time it bought you was fleeting.
Meet new people. Those were the exact words he had said to you all those years ago. Han River on a Tuesday night, cherry blossom petals fluttering through the balmy April air, the iciness of winter finally melting away into a distant memory to reveal fresh green carpets and vivid blooms â few things could have been more romantic. Spring is the season of love, they said.Â
But for you, spring was the season of loss. It was the season when love ended, when love could be taken back and snatched away in the blink of an eye. On a Tuesday night in April, you learned that your love was not just not enough, but that it was a burden, an obstacle between Jaehyun and living his life to the fullest. That time spent with you was time squandered. That you were robbing him of the complete university experience, and to an extent, his youth.
Jaehyun had always been a wanter. He wanted boldly and he wanted freely, never dwelling too long on how his wanting could appear in the eyes of others, never shy about his desires. When he was ten years old, he wanted a dog, despite the reddening of his nose and the watering of his eyes whenever heâd get within armâs distance of the bichon frisĂ©. In tenth grade, he wanted you, with cans of peach soda and sweet little notes in your locker until you finally said yes to being his girlfriend after three days of public pursuit.Â
(You had arguably wanted him more, and for longer, though nobody had been none the wiser â you were rather good at hiding your feelings.)
Two months into your first year at university, his wants changed. He wanted more space and more freedom to meet new people. He wanted to be able to attend club social outings, and get to know his seniors, and play drinking games with his new roommates, instead of trekking to the other side of Seoul every week to see you, his girlfriend, who had now become his obligation.
It would have been a lie to say you hadnât noticed a shift in his behaviour in the months leading up to that fateful night. Smiles had become a little wearier. Texts had become sparser. You had chalked it up to the challenges of settling into the new routine and rigorous coursework, and the distance between your schools that occupied opposite sides of the city. Sure, the hour-long subway ride from his campus to yours wasnât the greatest asset to your relationship, but 18-year-old you had remained optimistic it would endure whatever curveballs your first year of university and the beginnings of real adulthood would throw at you.Â
You had survived the CSAT together and emerged in one piece. What else could be harder than that?
âYouâre right though,â he said quietly, eyes fixed on his own piece of fried goatâs cheese. âI guess I was.â
You let your fork drop with a soft clang. âLetâs not, uhâwe donât have to talk about that.â Pink petals were swimming at the edges of your vision.Â
Please, letâs not talk about that.
A flicker of something behind his eyes could almost convince you he wanted exactly the opposite of your unspoken plea. Maybe this was a conversation he didnât actually want to avoid the way you so desperately did.Â
And maybe he would have said something too, if not for the waiter who returned at that precise moment.Â
âThe mushroom ravioli,â the waiter announced, setting the plate down in front of you, âand the amatriciana spaghetti. Enjoy.âÂ
Four pieces of pasta covered in sage butter looked back up at you.Â
You made a mental note to never order ravioli at an Italian restaurant ever again.Â
The sound of scraping utensils returned to your table, lightly blanketing the stilted pause in conversation with idle noise. Without much enthusiasm, you sliced at one of the four pieces of your ravioli, throwing what you hoped were sneaky glances at the full plate of spaghetti sitting in an appetising red sauce laid out before your ex-boyfriend.Â
âDo you want to try mine?â
Sneakiness had never been your forte.
Your polite refusal came quickly, even if it was rather weak to your own ears, but Jaehyun was already twirling a portion out onto the share plate the waiter had kindly provided a few minutes earlier. He made sure to scoop some sauce and pancetta bits on top as well, before gently pushing the plate towards you.Â
âThanks,â you mumbled, though you made no move to dig in.
Everything wasnât supposed to feel this familiar. You werenât supposed to soften so easily at the sight of his dimpled smile. You werenât supposed to feel that strange tug in your chest at his thoughtfulness, at the way he could still pick up the slightest change in your expression. And maybe the bar was too low, and here you were fawning over nothing more than the bare minimum, because what guy would see his date enviously looking at his food instead of her own and blatantly ignore it?
But with Jaehyun, it was different. You knew it was. Within every action, there was familiarity and practice, there was thought and care, there were years of history that were unerasable, even with the passage of time. You werenât the same wide-eyed teenagers now as you had been then, and yet scenes from the rest of that excruciating first semester flickered in your mind.Â
A silent breakdown during a business administration lecture. Your roommateâs concerned expression when you decided to skip dinner again.
The tug in your chest was leading you back into dangerous territory.Â
For the third time tonight, you debated grabbing your things and walking straight out. You had only promised Joy that you would stay until the mains came out. If you were going to leave now, technically, you would still have fulfilled your end of the promise. Arguably, this wasnât the best time to make an exit â fifteen minutes earlier would have been much better so that the kitchen would have time to cancel your stupid ravioli before they started preparing it. Leaving now wouldnât be the most optimal, but it was still an option. A tad heavy on the dramatics, but you could live with that. Youâd just never be able to step foot in this establishment again.
A shame. The spaghetti looked good. Youâd have to search up if this place did delivery.
âYou can go if you really want to, I wonât hold it against you,â Jaehyun said quietly. His eyes were fixed on the fork he was twirling through his dish. You supposed you shouldâve been surprised at the way he could read your mind without even looking at you, but you couldnât find the energy in you to pretend.
âBut,â he continued at your silence, âif youâre willing to stay, Iâd really like it if we could just catch up?â At this, he finally met your eyes and offered a small smile. âIt has been a while, after all.â
Maybe it was the sincerity contained in those soft brown eyes. Maybe it was because you really did want to try the amatriciana spaghetti while it was hot and fresh off the stove. Whatever it was, you found yourself resolving to stay, despite all the reasons not to, despite the sound of them loud and clear in your head, ready at your disposal. Allowing yourself to indulge in nostalgia once in a while couldnât be that bad for you. Right?Â
So you stayed. And you ate (his spicy amatriciana scored a landslide victory over your mushroom ravioli). And you talked. As two friends would do, catching each other up on the things that had shaped your lives since you had gone on your separate ways.Â
Conversation was clunky at first, that was to be expected. Even the closest of friendships would encounter some choppy waters when reconnecting for the first time after five years. But conversation with Jaehyun gave way to smooth sailing much quicker than you would have expected. He still wore the face of the boy who would sneak an extra serving of fried sweet potato from the cafeteria because he knew you liked them, but he wasnât quite the same. Older, certainly. Maturity wasnât something that went hand-in-hand with age like you had thought when you were younger, but he was more mature too. Surer of himself, and his place in the world.
You heard of the summer he spent in the UK after graduation, visiting his uncle and their family, appreciating classical architecture and the leisure inherent to rolling green hills that he hadnât been able to find in the metropolis he had grown up in. (The food, however, was an entirely different story. He had never been so overjoyed to see a bowl of rice that wasnât covered in mushy peas or sitting in a puddle of questionable-looking curry.)
He learned of your semester exchange in Amsterdam, including the unfortunate incident involving you, a runaway bicycle, and the freezing water of the Dutch canals. Fortunately, a nasty cold and two weeks in bed over the Christmas break were the worst things that came of it. Those few months had been eye-opening, to say the least. Stepping outside of your own bubble had made you realise how much more there was to the world, and how little you knew of it.
Yes, Jaehyun had changed, but then again so had you. The realisation dawned halfway through dessert, slowly settling over you as you spooned at the tiramisu in the centre of the table. Perhaps it hadnât been fair to him that you had been harbouring this seed of antagonism towards him for all these years. He, so afflicted by youth, as you both had been back then, was only doing what he thought was right and necessary. Could you really fault him for that? You had seen enough of life now to know that sometimes, nobody was to blame.
There was a comfortable lull in the conversation before he spoke again. The sound of his voice drew you away from the window, where you could see that the rain had slowed from the earlier dramatic downpour to a lighter shower.Â
âI know I probably wasnât who you were expecting today,â he said, a little hesitant and gauging your expression.
âYou definitely were not.â You gave him an amused half-smile over the rim of your barely-filled glass, which he returned. The bottle of merlot sat tall and empty on the table.
âI just wanted to say,â he began, taking in a breath, âIâm glad it was you. It was really nice to see you again. And Iâm sorry if you were disappointed that it was me.âÂ
There was something sad in the curve of his mouth, you thought. It tempered the warmth in his eyes.
âIâm not disappointed,â you heard yourself say. âReally.â
It was the truth. You knew he could see it written across your face. Dishonesty and insincere flattery were not familiar weapons you wielded. He knew that. He knew you.
Jaehyun sat back, bringing his own glass to his lips and draining the lingering contents. Perhaps to hide the private smile that broke out across his handsome face, which you pretended not to see, turning your attention back to the raindrops pattering against the window.Â
The evening air was cool on your bare arms when you stepped out, taking shelter under the awning in front of the restaurant. You werenât the only one who had forgone a weather app consultation today. Jaehyun stood beside you, hands tucked neatly in the pockets of his slacks, a not unwelcome companion while you waited for your taxi to arrive. Heâd call one later, after he made sure you had gotten in the car and were on the way home.
âI guess Iâll see you around?â he asked, tone light.Â
You cast a sidelong glance at him. His profile was backlit by the warm light emanating from inside the restaurant, carving out the straight bridge of his nose, a soft shadow cupping the fullness of his bottom lip. Would there ever be a time the sight of him wouldnât take your breath away?
âMaybe,â you breathed. Letting him back into your life wasnât a decision you felt ready to make yet, and you had no intention of promising him anything you couldnât be sure youâd be able to deliver. Even if you would only be promising him friendship.
He didnât push it further and hummed in understanding. Then your taxi was pulling up in front of the restaurant, the splash from the tyres just missing the hem of your trousers, and you were bidding him goodbye, staring a second too long at the dimples that appeared, and trying not to step in a pothole puddle as you clambered rather ungracefully into the car.Â
But because realisation was never punctual, it was only when you arrived home, carefully kicking off the black pumps and patting them dry with a microfibre cloth, that you realised two things.Â
First, you had left your cardigan at the Italian restaurant.
And second, Jaehyun had footed the whole bill.
There was a reason the seventh floor was your favourite floor in the building.
It wasnât because of the little in-office cafe with the cute but ridiculously overpriced pastries that tasted even better than they looked, or the deceptively comfortable bean bag chairs by the far window that would always tempt you with a mid-afternoon nap every time you sank into one of them.
No. The seventh floor was your favourite because it had a Nespresso machine. Free use. Company-funded.
A seventh floor coffee was one of the only things that could get you to leave the comfort of your desk and willingly walk up two flights of stairs. (The elevators always took too long.) On Monday afternoons like these, after an entire morning swimming through attendance and sick leave reports from the last quarter, the promise of a smooth and velvety cappuccino felt like your only hope for humanity. Unfortunately for you, it seemed like everybody else had the same idea, if the line in front of the coffee machine was anything to judge by.Â
âYou should have told me!â
You gave Joy an incredulous look. âRight. Because I definitely knew exactly who he was.â
âWell, you could have worked it out. Youâre a smart girl.â
âYou said a total of three sentences about him.â
She paused, fixing you with a contemplative stare. Her eyebrows were doing that weird lifting thing when she was running something through her head. âFive sentences,â she finally managed, tapping around the rim of her empty mug.Â
Why she came up with you at all when she wasnât a coffee person, would probably take two sips of the espresso, and then complain it was too bitter, was beyond you. Sometimes you wondered if she was really that good at her job, or if her workload was just so non-existent that she could take five coffee breaks a day. It couldnât be the latter, because you had seen that her calendar was full for the entire morning.
âLetâs not spend the next fifteen minutes talking about last Friday,â you sighed, already pushing thoughts of dimpled smiles and warm eyes to the far corner of your mind. Hopefully not to be revisited for a while. âI want my head outrageously blank while I enjoy this cappuccino. Swear to god Junmyeon is trying to drown me with those leave reports.â
âYou know he only assigns them to you because youâve never told him you hate doing it.â
âHe assigns them to me because Iâm the only one available who can get it done properly. Youâre always blocked out, and Jungwoo has that weekly coaching session. Jisung tried to help me do it this morning, and he didnât even separate paid from unpaid leave. The numbers looked like we were bleeding PTO.â
She gave you a sly smile. âYou know you can block yourself out too,â she said off-handedly.Â
âYou can what?â
This was new information.
âYouâre telling me someone else could be sifting through that 70-page file if I just schedule in a random meeting with myself?â you asked again, to which she nodded.
âHas yet to fail me. But make sure you name it something that makes sense, and donât do it all the time, otherwise itâll look suspicious.â
Corporate bullshitting was a fine art, and you were beginning to realise you were still but a novice at it.Â
âAnd lay off the intern,â she added. âHeâs just a child.â âHeâs taller than Junmyeon.â
âA child in spirit, then. You know what I mean. He sort of reminds me of a cute little mouse,â she mused, trailing off. If her apartment complex didnât have a pet ban, you had a feeling she would be taking in every stray animal off the street.
However, she was right. Jisung had been a bigger help than you had expected of a second-year commerce student. Even if it was just skimming through a finished presentation pack to fix up any typos and align text boxes, you couldnât deny that having an extra pair of eyes and hands had made your life a little bit easier. Maybe you would even miss him once his summer placement came to an end and the semester rolled back around. As long as there werenât too many more incidents like the one from this morning.
Speaking of this morningâŠ
âHey, does that mean youâve been making yourself unavailable so you donât have to read theââ
âOh look! The lineâs getting shorter. You should move up before someone cuts in.â
You shuffled forward, but not without throwing her a displeased look along with a grumble or two. Next time the quarterly attendance analysis rolled around, you were definitely making use of the trick she had just told you about. A quick glance up ahead. There were now three people in front of you in the line, but only one green capsule left on the rack.Â
Please, caffeine gods be willing, let that last one be yours. Â
âI canât believe I told you that I thought your ex-boyfriend was super fucking hot. I feel so icky, like Iâve betrayed you somehow,â Joy said, making a face. The dimpled smile fought its way back into your consciousness, and you suppressed the twist in your stomach that seemed to accompany every recollection of it.Â
âItâs honestly fine. Thereâs no way you could have known.â You shrugged, partly to reassure her it wasnât a big deal, and partly to shake off that funny feeling in the pit of your stomach.
The better part of your weekend had been spent trying to make sense of the night, after battling a merlot-induced migraine for most of Saturday morning and early afternoon. Three glasses had been a necessity to get through dinner, but it was ultimately overkill. You were no longer the girl from two years ago who took advantage of her afternoon class the next day by destroying a few soju bottles with your roommates. On a weeknight, too.
Joy gave your arm a soft squeeze. âStill, Iâm sorry I put you through that. Hopefully it wasnât completely awful?â
Completely awful, it was not. Awful at some parts? Maybe.Â
Truthfully, you hadnât been prepared to see Jaehyun again. Not to say that you had never thought about it â you definitely had, running simulations through your head about how you would run into him on the street, ignore his greeting and walk past him like he didnât even exist. But those were the musings of a heart-broken teenager, turning to spite and cheap endeavours at revenge to cope with the loss of her first love. Last Friday did have spite rearing its ugly head, but that spite was short-lived, and only one aspect that made up the whirlwind of emotions that came with seeing him again after all those years.Â
âNo, it wasnât all bad,â you were about to say, when your eye was suddenly caught by a movement up ahead.Â
A slender, veiny hand reached out to grab the last green pod from the coffee rack. You watched as the thiefâs fingers closed around the capsule and slotted it into the machine. He pressed the lever down â because of course, it was a man. Not only was he on the better side of the gender wage gap, but he also had to be ahead of you in the caffeine race as well.
The sound of the capsule being punctured was the final blow.Â
âMy coffee,â you lamented under your breath.
âHave some patience,â Joy chided. âWeâre nearly there. Youâre like a zombie when you donât have your little cup of bean juice.â
You shook your head glumly. âThe last Peruvian. I waited for so long. It was supposed to be mine, and he took it.âÂ
âWho did?â
âThe guy at the front.âÂ
Your eyes were still glued on the hand as it wrapped around the mug filled with your favourite blend, completely unaware that it had just robbed you of the only small pocket of joy you had been looking forward to all afternoon. Peering around the two people still ahead, your gaze travelled up his exposed forearm and the sleeve of the white dress shirt cuffed there. If only you could catch a glimpse of the face that had stomped all over your hopes and dreamsâŠÂ
The lady in front of you shuffled closer to the coffee machine and finally cleared your line of sight. Coffee stealerâs ear came into view before his face did, and he wasâ
âJaehyun?â
His name fell out of Joyâs mouth before you could even get your own to start working again and beg her not to call out to him. For a moment you were afraid you had conjured him out of thin air from the uninvited thoughts of him circling the outskirts of your mind. At least now you knew he wasnât a hallucination.
Jaehyunâs eyebrows pinched in confusion first, then surprise, before finally smoothing over with recognition. He offered a small wave, eyes flitting from Joy over to you, and then he was walking over, and you were fighting for your life trying to mask the panic that was bubbling away inside your chest.
You shot Joy a frantic look. Why did you do that?
I donât know! Sorry, said her returning one. The corners of her mouth were turned down in an apologetic frown, but she quickly schooled it into a smile at Jaehyunâs approach.
âIâve never seen you on seven before,â Joy said, the spitting image of friendliness, nevermind that you were beside her and desperately looking for an exit out of the incoming conversation. âYouâre always holed up somewhere on ten.â
You supposed you should have known this would happen sooner or later. Six months without running into each other when you worked at the same company, in the same building, was the exception, not the rule. You were just grateful Joy didnât try to bring up her clever little dinner setup that had been plaguing you the entire weekend, or try and rope the two of you into awkward and unnecessary introductions.
âSomeone told me I should come down and try the Nespresso machine. Apparently itâs really good,â he said, gesturing at the mug you had been staring at for the past three minutes.
âIt is,â were the first two words you managed. Both pairs of eyes shifted towards you, waiting for the rest of your comment to come, but you could only disappoint, the syllables hanging thick and dumb in the air.Â
There appeared to be some sort of blockage in your mouth-to-brain pipeline.
Joy cleared her throat lightly, throwing you a sideways glance. âWhich one did you try? They all taste the same to me, but she only drinks the green ones,â she said, ignoring the panicked twitch of your mouth. She knew full well that he was the one youâd been staring daggers into ever since he grabbed that stupid capsule. Your stupid capsule.
Jaehyunâs eyes flicked between your face and the steaming drink in his hand a few times.
âDo you want mine? I think I might have taken the last green one.â He offered the mug to you. âI didnât really know what to press, so itâs just a cappuccino. Regular milk. I havenât had any yet.â
âItâs fine, you should have yours. Iâll get another one,â you politely declined. No matter how much you liked the Peruvian blend, it was not worth the charity from your ex-boyfriend. Even if it was the only thing that could get you through the rest of the afternoon. Even if he was holding the exact thing that you had been planning on getting.Â
Hopefully the kitchen staff would restock those capsules by tomorrow.
The look he gave you was not a convinced one, but he didnât push further. With your dismissal of his offer, the three of you lapsed into a sticky silence. Even Joy, who was so adept at making topics of conversation out of nothing, had little to add, passing up the challenge of pulling meaningful sentences out of your mouth. The stifling tension between you and Jaehyun must have been more powerful than you thought.Â
âShoot, I think Iâm getting a Teams call,â Joy suddenly said, making a show of pulling her phone out and tapping the screen.Â
Liar. She didnât even have the app notifications turned on.Â
âI should probably take this, but Iâll see the both of you later.â She flashed a contrite smile, and then she was off, almost speed-walking her way down the stairs you had come up together, all the while pressing her phone to her ear with a little too much urgency for a mid-afternoon cold call. By the look on Jaehyunâs face, he hadnât been all that impressed by her impromptu theatrics either.
âAre you still in the line?â
âSorry, yes,â you muttered at the woman behind you. Clearly, you were not the only one impatient for their caffeine fix.Â
Finally, you were at the counter. You stared blankly at the rack of capsules. The empty space where the green ones were usually stored was glaringly obvious, jumping out at you while you skimmed through the other blends for a passable alternative. After many more seconds than would have been necessary to pick one flavour out of the remaining three, your fingers closed around a gold one. It would have to do for today.Â
Jaehyun watched as you dropped the capsule into its slot and made your selections. Why he was still here with you was somewhat of a mystery. You wouldâve thought that Joyâs hasty exit would have prompted him to do the same, saving the both of you from having to make bumbling small talk about the weather, or the weekend, or whatever else that two people working at the same company, with no other relational history, could talk about to fill in the silence.
Maybe he wanted to talk about the dinner bill. The fact that he had settled it, without you even noticing, had been weighing on your mind. It was less of a money thing â though you were pretty sure the total hadnât been a modest number â than a pride thing. Being indebted to others always left a smear on your conscience.Â
Being indebted to your ex-boyfriend was like someone had shit all over it.
Whatever. If he didnât bring it up first, you would. This was the 21st century. You were both financially independent adults. Splitting the bill on a first date didnât have to be such a contentious thing.Â
Although technically, it was far from your first. And it wasnât a date either, because you had refused to label it as such in your head.
The last few drops of milk and espresso trickled into the mug, before the machine stopped whirring altogether. You knew he was still there. You could feel his presence behind you. He had probably been waiting for the noise to stop so that youâd be able to hear him speak. Taking your mug off the stand, you turned to face him.Â
âYour cardigan,â he said.
âHuh?â
Confusion splashed over you. You werenât even wearing one today.
âI have your cardigan,â he amended. âFrom Friday. You left it inside the restaurant. One of the waiters brought it out, but you had left already, so I took it with me.â He scratched the back of his neck. âI have it now, if you want it back.â
âYou do?âÂ
âI mean, itâs at my desk. I brought it in today,â he added quickly, seeing the way you were looking about his person like you were expecting it to materialise into his hands.
You blinked a few times, trying to clear the brain fog that had decided now was the perfect time to strike. âYes, Iâthank you, um, for that. I can take it off youâŠ?âÂ
Had you meant to have it sound so much like a question? It seemed like your capacity for human speech was always afflicted by some sort of malfunction in his presence.
âOkay, uh, do you want to come up to my desk? Iâve got it there.â
The elevator ride up to the tenth floor was a short one. You could have taken the stairs just to get the extra steps in, but with both of you holding uncovered drinks, three flights of stairs combined with your clumsy fingers were a slip hazard just waiting to happen. Still, despite the short journey, the seconds inside the elevator seemed to drag on for much longer.
Before you could lose your nerve, you opened your mouth to crack the silence.Â
âLet me pay you back for dinner.âÂ
Good. It sounded good. Firm, but not overbearing. Hell yeah, you were getting the hang of this conversation-with-your-ex-boyfriend thing.Â
Jaehyun seemed a bit taken aback by that, turning to you slightly with surprise woven into the crease of his brow. âYou really donât need to do that,â he said after a beat.
The elevator dinged, and he stepped out through the sliding doors before you could form a coherent response. It took a second for you to follow, the coffee inside your mug almost making a dangerous appearance all over the elevator floor as you caught up with his strides.Â
âThink of it as me taking care of a junior colleague. I am your senior, you know,â he said over his shoulder, a smile gracing his features at the latter part.
âOnly by half a year,â you grumbled. âThat doesnât even count.â The light shake of his broad shoulders let you know he had heard your gripes over his attempts at enforcing seniority. His accompanying laugh was a soft one. You barely caught it above the noise of the tenth floor office.
The mellowed cosiness of the fifth floor HR department was hard to be found here. You were used to some chatter, with the occasional high-pitched laugh from Joy punctuating the air. On days he was feeling particularly jovial, Junmyeon could be heard humming from whichever desk he had decided to park at for the day (such was the beauty of hot-desking and hotelling). The few occasions you shared a table with him had allowed you to recognise the melody of The Beatlesâ Strawberry Fields Forever â always the same song, and he hummed everything except for the words âstrawberry fieldsâ, which he insisted on singing, albeit softly.
Nothing about Digital was soft or cosy. Except maybe the sofa in one of the open creative spaces. The floor buzzed with activity, from the influx of incoming call ringtones to agenda-packed meetings in conference rooms. A group of people were clustered around a floor-to-ceiling whiteboard covered in diagrams that were undecipherable to you, engaged in animated conversation while pointing at various parts of the board. Some of them greeted Jaehyun as he walked past with you in tow.
âI had no idea Digital was this busy,â you mused out loud, following him as he weaved through the desks.
He chuckled lightly. âWe like to talk a lot. And some of us can get a bit loud,â he said. The joking undercurrent to his voice had you thinking that the second part was said with someone in mind. âBut itâs more hectic than usual. Weâve just won a really big bid and Johnnyâs excited about his first time leading one of the streams.â He paused to wave and give a thumbs-up at the man standing at the very front of the whiteboard group (you assumed this was Johnny), who returned the greetings with just as much enthusiasm.Â
Jaehyun had always been a people person. That was one thing that would likely never change.
The two of you arrived at his desk, a quieter one next to the windows offering an almost unobstructed view of the city. He dug around his workspace, pulling out a Jo Malone gift bag.Â
âIgnore the bag,â he said, catching your wary expression. âI didnât want to stuff it in my duffel with the rest of my gym stuff.âÂ
You took it from his outstretched hand, with a quick glance to check that it was in fact your cardigan. The ribbed black fabric sat inside, folded neatly over itself.Â
âIt got rained on quite a bit, so I washed it. I hope thatâs okay.â
âOf course, thatâs kind of you, Jaehyun. You didnât have to.â For a moment, you wondered if he still used the same pine-scented laundry detergent. The smell of it used to cling to his school uniform, a burst of freshness you always sought during the muggy summer days.
âThank you,â you said, giving him a grateful smile. âI thought I lost it for good.â In your mind, you had already made peace with the fact that you would probably see the thing ever again. Yet all weekend, it had been taking up space in Jaehyunâs hamper, uncertain as to when it would finally be able to reunite with your closet.
You gave him a careful look.Â
âDid you plan on seeing me today?â you asked.Â
âNo. Yes. I meanââ The tips of his ears took on the faintest hint of a pink flush. âI didnât know if I would run into you, so Iâm glad I did. But otherwise, I was just going to give it to Joy and get her to pass it along to you,â he trailed off, gaze shifting sideways to the cityscape posted on the other side of the glass windows.Â
Neither of you had bothered with exchanging contact details after dinner, an oversight that was more deliberate than not on your part. His re-entry into your life was something you hadnât felt quite ready for. And yetâ
âDo you want my number?â
Stupid mouth. The words were out before you even registered that you had spoken. You prayed he wouldnât pick up on the unintended suggestion of the question, though judging by the quick raise of his left eyebrow, you werenât the only one who realised the other possible interpretations of your words.Â
âI mean, just in case something like this happens again. So you can contact me directly,â you added quickly. Heat slowly crept its way up to your cheeks. You hoped he wouldnât notice.
âSure,â he said, lips curling into a smile. âIf thatâs okay with you.âÂ
Considering you were the one who had said it out loud in the first place, it would have been strange if you suddenly decided it was not okay with you.
There was some fumbling with each otherâs phones, before you were typing your number to add into his contacts, and he was doing the same to yours. Would he realise yours was still the same string of digits as it had been five years ago?
âWell, Iâd better get going,â you said, handing back his phone. Now was as good a time to make an easy exit as any. You had planned on gossiping with Joy in the level seven kitchen for the rest of the hour, but back to your desk appeared to be the more likely destination this afternoon. 70-page files didnât read themselves. âThanks for the cardigan. Iâll see you later, then?â
Jaehyun looked like he had more to say, but you were already turning around, ready to leave the hubbub of the tenth floor. Ready to leave the presence of your ex-boyfriend-turned-friend? Acquaintance? You shook your head lightly. A drink was needed to unpack that box of worms.
A call of your name had you pausing mid-step.
âYour coffee,â Jaehyun said, tapping you on the shoulder to hand you your mug.Â
âThanks,â you mumbled, taking it from his grasp. You hadnât even bothered to take a sip of the non-Peruvian cappuccino, the surface still untouched. It was probably cold now. Maybe youâd pass it off to Jungwoo, this time sans the salt.
âYou know, if the dinner bill thing bothers you that much, you can just make it up to me later.â
You blinked at him a few times. âMake it up to you how?â
âAh, thatâs for me to decide,â he replied, a boyish glint to his smiling eyes. Both his dimples popped out, and you found yourself unable to choose which one to focus on.Â
Then he was moving, and you were left staring at the broad expanse of his back as he walked away. Head full of thoughts wondering what the hell kind of favour he would now hold over your head, you almost walked straight into Jungwoo as you came out of the elevator.
âHey, I got a Nespresso from seven. You want it?â you asked, offering him the coffee you stopped yourself from spilling all over him. He eyed the mug apprehensively.
âYou put salt in it again, didnât you?â
âNo? Where did you even get that from? Hang on, how do you know it was me?â
Jungwoo sucked in a breath through his teeth. âSo it was you! I knew it! You know, you really are a scary woman,â he grumbled. âWho ever would have thought an evil spirit lurked behind such a kind face?â
âSo thatâs a no to the coffee?â
âI donât trust you anymore, so no.â
âSuit yourself,â you shrugged, making your way back to your desk. The attendance reports stared back at you as you logged into the monitor, drawing a sigh out of you. You took a sip of the coffee.
And frowned.
You brought the mug to your mouth again. Like the first sip, the second was also lukewarm. But like the first sip, the second also tasted exactly the same as your usual Peruvian blend. Maybe there really was no difference between all the different coloured capsules, you thought, skimming through page 33 of the file.
That thing about realisation never being on time? Still true.
On the subway ride home, gripping the handle with all your might while sandwiched between two middle-aged men in stuffy suits, it dawned on you.
Jaehyun had given you his coffee instead.
âThanks everyone for dialling in today. Weâll chat soon.â
The screen reverted back to its default background as the call ended, and you let out a sound somewhere in between a groan and a whimper. Junmyeon did not look to be faring any better, head in his hands while his elbows rested on the meeting room table.
âCan somebody please tell Jackson and the rest of the Marketing heads that Summer Fridays doesnât mean they can just take Fridays completely off?â he groaned, the sounds escaping through the gaps in his fingers. âOur absenteeism looks like itâs at an all time high. Nayeon, youâre friendly with him, arenât you?â
The girl pressed at her temples. âI mean, we were in the same advertising and PR club back in university, if that counts for anything. But yeah, Iâll schedule some time with him and go over it.â
âGreat, thank you,â Junmyeon sighed, throwing his head back. âAlright, Iâll send around a debrief email later this afternoon. Thanks everyone for your time.â
You didnât have to be told twice. A second later and you were out of the eighth floor Marketing meeting room, already on your way to the Nespresso machine downstairs. Another coffee at 4pm was slightly pushing it, but you needed a pick-me-up urgently to wash away the gruelling two hours spent going through company policy with Marketing.
The buzz of your phone was a momentary distraction from your mission.Â
It was a message from Jaehyun. Something silly in response to a text you had sent earlier in the day.Â
jaehyun [04:07 pm]: in dire need of a fake mango right now jaehyun [04:07 pm]: mmm fake mango milkshake
The smile that crept up onto your face was almost like a reflex in the way it couldnât be helped.
Now that you were acquainted again, it was like you saw him everywhere. How you had managed to completely avoid each other for the last half a year or so was a fascinating mystery. Some mornings youâd run into him in the building lobby. Heâd hold the elevator doors open for you, and youâd exchange pleasantries on the ride up to the fifth floor, where youâd get off and bid him goodbye, or see you later. And see him later you did. Whether it was at the seventh floor coffee machine, or in line at the cafeteria on twelve, the sight of his face had become a nice interruption to the hours spent at a monitor, or in a call like the one you had just escaped.
He would come down to the fifth floor sometimes, stopping by Joyâs desk or yours to say hello and have a chat if you werenât busy. You found yourself wishing he would spend less time with Joy than he did with you â not because you wanted to see him more (because that was absolutely not the reason at all), but because he was steadily gaining a lead over you in the Joy friendship competition. The three of you had spent a few lunch breaks at the cafeteria together, granted that your schedules matched, with an odd appearance from Jungwoo every now and again.
You saw more of Johnny (loud) and Mark (louder), Jaehyunâs friends from Digital who youâd normally hear before youâd see them. Johnny was his âbeloved coffee mateâ (Jaehyunâs exact words) and possibly the only other person in the building who cared about the green Peruvian capsules as much as you did. Mark was⊠Mark, for lack of a better description. There was nobody the boy couldnât strike a conversation with. If he really needed to, you suspected he could probably get along with a wet paper towel.Â
You had been offered an invitation to join the three of them for one of their weekly lunches outside the company building. Johnny was more than happy to let you know he was somewhat of an expert at finding the hottest eats in the area, having put half his floor onto the cold noodle place he had sought out at the start of the month. And laugh as you had when he proudly told you about it, Johnnyâs influence was no joke. News of the restaurant had somehow trickled its way down to HR, with Junmyeon just the other day asking around the team if anyone had tried the place before.Â
Perhaps youâd join them next week. It was always nice to be ahead of the trend.Â
You arrived at the seventh floor kitchen and sighed. The rack was out of green capsules again. Although, maybe that was to be expected. It was nearing the end of the day, and the gold capsules were finished too. So much for a 4pm pick-me-up, you thought, though it might have been for the better â too much caffeine in one day always made you a bit antsy and had your resting heart rate up in the high 80s.Â
With empty hands and a pout on your lips, you made your way back to the fifth floor.Â
Joyâs eyes were glued to her screen when you walked past her. âJaehyun stopped by while you were in that Marketing call,â she said without looking at you, squinting at a spreadsheet.Â
âDid he?â you replied, trying your best at nonchalance despite the little flip of your stomach.Â
âAre you talking about her handsome friend from Digital?â Jungwoo peered around the table with a playful grin on his face.Â
You were back on good terms now, thanks to your promise to pay for his lunch from the cafeteria for a whole week to make up for the coffee incident. The look in his eyes right now had you thinking life was better that week where he had been afraid of you.
âYeah, thatâs the one,â Joy said distractedly in between clicks of her keyboard. âJisung, can you just double check these numbers for me? Iâm in the second tab of the Excel file.âÂ
The intern was quick to comply. You had a feeling she was his favourite senior.Â
âAnyways, I think he left you something.â
You made your way over to your desk, ignoring Jungwooâs oohs and ahs. Sure enough, there was something sitting next to your diary and the three empty glasses you hadnât had the chance to rinse out yet.
It was a coffee capsule. Specifically, it was a green coffee capsule.Â
There was a sticky note stuck to the back of it, which you turned around to read. His handwriting was still identical to that of the silly little notes he used to leave in the margins of your home economics workbook.Â
saved this last one from johnnyâs clutches. enjoy ^.^
Despite the jitters from the end-of-day caffeine fix, you smiled the whole way home.
âIâve found a way you can make it up to me.â
You pulled the phone away from your ear to check the screen. 9:34 am. The Saturday morning still had you in its clutches, and it took a few seconds to process the sounds you were hearing.Â
âWho is this?â you croaked, sleep lacing your voice.Â
âItâs Jaehyun.âÂ
You sat up a little straighter against the pillows. âJaehyun?â you echoed.Â
âYes, itâs me. Do you not check the caller ID before you answer?â
You grumbled something about it being too early on the weekend to have your head screwed on properly, to which he laughed, a vivid sound even through the phone.Â
âDo you have plans later today?â
You hesitated. Technically, no, unless a hot date with Netflix and whatever leftover snacks you could find in your pantry counted as plans. You were due for a grocery trip soon. The three eggs and single sprig of spring onion in your fridge would not last for long. Cooking had never been something you enjoyed, especially not after a full work day, and yet living alone required so much of it. You didnât want to make up a non-existent dinner reservation, partly because you knew heâd be able to tell the untruth just by listening to your voice, and partly because something unpleasant niggled at your insides at the thought of lying just to avoid him. Â
âWhy, whatâs up?â you asked instead.
âWell, you know that jazz festival?â You gave an affirmative hum. âI have tickets for today. Mark and I were supposed to go together, but he just called me saying he canât make it. Something about a leak in his apartment from all the rain. SoâŠâ
You stifled a yawn. âSo?â Your brain was still trying to catch up with the land of the awake and living.Â
âCome with me?â
The words took a while and a few blinks to register. When they did, your first instinct was to say no. Jaehyun was fine in small doses. A quick chat over coffee, sporadic texts throughout the day, conversation within the safety of a group setting â these were all fine. Manageable. Nice, even. But Jaehyun in the flesh, outside of the office, with nobody else around to buffer the strange sort of tension that seemed to always thrum between the two of you â that was an entirely different ball game altogether. Sometimes, a mere run-in was enough to have your heart going a little faster than usual, nerves lighting up at the unexpected sight of his face.Â
âI am not above begging. Please donât make me go to this thing by myself.â
And yet, there was a flicker of something pleasant and sweet, something akin to excitement that curbed the nervous flutter in your gut. You were fifteen again, waiting outside the movie theatre, a little too giddy at the thought of spending time with the boy whose sweet smile had become the cause of your stomach somersaults. And that was before you had even admitted to yourself that you liked him, as more than a friend.Â
âWhat time is it?â you found yourself asking.
So maybe you were seriously considering it. You had been meaning to put that new film camera to use. The thing had been collecting dust in one of your drawers ever since you bought it on a whim one night scrolling through Pinterest. Somehow, the rows of tables and monitors in the office didnât seem like the most interesting camera subjects compared to the scenes of concerts and beach bonfires that had driven your impulsive purchase.Â
âWell, the doors open at 11, but the first performer is at 12. And Lauvâs set isnât until later in the evening.â
âLauv is performing?â Your voice had gone up almost an octave, but you couldnât care enough to be embarrassed. This was a crucial piece of information. Now you had to be there.Â
He laughed. âSo is that a yes?â
âYes. Yes, itâs a yes.â The covers were flipped off your legs in an instant.
It wasnât that Jaehyun looked bad in slacks and a dress shirt. That was not the case at all. But you had grown used to them on him over the last few weeks, and the sight of his long legs in a pair of well-fitting trousers no longer caused a spike in your heart rate.Â
Jaehyun in casual clothes outside the office was uncharted territory.Â
The midday sun was strong outside the subway station. Clad in a black graphic tee over a pair of baggy green cargos, Jaehyun stood idly at the entrance, face hidden by the brown baseball cap on his head and eyes trained on his phone. How someone could look so gorgeous in something so ordinary was a secret only he knew the truth of. He caught sight of you from across the road, waiting for the pedestrian light, and raised his hand in a wave.Â
âItâs different seeing you out of your work clothes,â he said.Â
âDifferent good or different bad?â
A soft smile grazed his lips. âJust different. You look younger.â
âSo do you,â you replied.Â
You look like the boy I was in love with all those years ago.Â
âDid you taxi?â
âNo, I took the bus. Thereâs one that goes straight from my building. I didnât know you lived around here,â you mused to yourself.
âMy place is really close.â He pointed somewhere behind him. âFive minutes that way, tops. You should come over sometime.â
A slight pause. Jaehyunâs eyes flitted down to the pavement. You werenât sure if the heat in your cheeks was from the sun or something else entirely.Â
âAnyway,â he cleared his throat, âwe should probably go. It takes 40 minutes to get there, so if we leave now we should be able to catch the 1pm.â
The subway on the weekend was nowhere near as awful as it usually was during the weekday rush hours, but packed nonetheless. You definitely preferred being stuck in a carriage full of bright-eyed and chattering teenagers than the usual crowd of solemn-faced office workers. When a seat finally freed up, Jaehyun was quick to offer it to you, manoeuvring himself so that he could stand in front of you as you sat down. Toe to toe, the tips of his shoes grazed yours, and you were suddenly reminded of study periods at the library. The two of you could never agree on who first started the game of footsie under the desk.
âSee those girls over there?â you asked quietly, nodding towards a group of likely high schoolers down the other end of the carriage. Jaehyun turned his head to follow your gaze, catching sight of the girls who immediately erupted in whispers and giggles upon making eye contact with him. âTheyâve been staring at you for the last two stops.â
He was quick to turn back towards you, nose scrunching and slightly embarrassed. âKids these days are so weird,â he said with a soft groan. âWhy are they doing that?â
âYou know theyâre only staring because youâre handsome.âÂ
Despite the pinkness of his ears, he was smiling wide. âYou think Iâm handsome?â
You blinked up at him. âI didnât say that.â Did I? âI meant they probably think youâre handsome. Which is why theyâre staring. You know. Itâs nice to look at good-looking people.âÂ
The rushed explanations did nothing to shake the feeling that you had slipped-up somehow, and he had caught it. Jaehyunâs dimples only deepened at your backtracking.
âYou know what I mean,â you finally huffed, biting back a smile at the deep sound of his responding laugh. âWhatever. I think this is our stop.â
The festival couldnât have picked a better day to be held. The skies were clear and blue, and the air carried a light breeze that provided a welcome relief from the heavy stickiness of midsummer. It was a nice change from the sporadic rainstorms that had plagued the city over the last two weeks or so. Markâs leaking apartment was proof of the temperamental weather. If you had one bone to pick, the sun was a tad strong, but that was to be expected. You had come prepared, tugging the bucket hat down further to cover your face.Â
Alaina Castilloâs set was well underway by the time you and Jaehyun made your way into the venue grounds. A decent amount of people had already arrived, trickling in to fill up the gated area in front of the main stage. The two of you filed in with the rest, finding a place towards the back of the growing crowd where there was ample room to breathe without inhaling someone elseâs breath.Â
You had never been one for being stuck in a swarm of people. A harsh reminder of why that was the case appeared when, out of nowhere, a strangerâs elbow dug into your arm, knocking you sideways in their determined path towards the barricade.Â
The steadying hand around your shoulder was instantaneous.Â
âAre you okay?â Jaehyun asked, and you mumbled something affirmative in reply, trying not to dwell too much on the warmth of his skin on your bare arm. His eyes followed the stranger who was still pushing on through the crowd in front. âPeople really need to watch where theyâre going,â he muttered, brows drawn together in a frown.
The rest of the afternoon proceeded more smoothly. It was a little unsettling how normal and nice everything felt. Jaehyun kept close to you for the sets that followed, the distance between the two of you gradually shrinking as the crowd grew in size. The occasional brush of your forearms as you moved to the music was no longer something to jump at like you had the first time it had happened. You managed to snap a few pictures on your almost-new film camera, mostly of the artist performing, but there was one of you in there somewhere amidst the stage shots, taken by an insistent and smiley Jaehyun during one of the set breaks.Â
âSo this is why you wanted someone to come with you,â you said, sliding onto the bench and passing him one of the burgers from the food truck.
âItâs so much more efficient when you can line up for two things at once. If I was by myself, Iâd either wait for the beer and let my burger get soggy, or wait for the burger and let my beer get warm and flat. This way the food is fresh, and our drinks are ice cold out of the fridge.â
You cracked a smile. âAnd here I thought you called me because you enjoyed my company.â
âI do enjoy your company,â he said without missing a beat. âThe other stuff is just an added plus.â
You took a sip of the cold beer, hoping it would stave off the quick flush of your cheeks. Jaehyun said things so easily. Too easily. It was harder and harder to adhere to that invisible boundary you had been so adamant on protecting.Â
Why were you so reluctant to let him back in? Why all the walls? He made it too easy for thoughts like that to creep in and loiter in the back of your mind.Â
Evening had begun to settle, the brightness of the midday sky fading away to a twinkling twilight blue over your heads. The music was quieter at the picnic tables by the tents, where festival-goers sought respite from the main stage crowds with a cold beverage and something greasy. Between mouthfuls of an early makeshift dinner, you and Jaehyun sat in your own bubble, comfortably falling into conversation about the performances throughout the day, or whatever else happened to be on your minds. Â
âYour mouth opens so wide,â you said, watching as he all but inhaled half the burger in one go. His nose scrunched up as he tried to take the massive bite, and the sight of it was such a far cry from his usual cool guy image that you couldnât pass up the opportunity to snap a picture of it. The click of the shutter had him looking up at you mid-chew with a dismayed expression.
âThatâs not fair. You attacked when I wasnât ready!â
âIâd hardly call that an attack,â you said, not without a smile. âI was just getting a candid.â
He wiped his fingers on the napkin. âOkay, my turn then,â he said, gesturing for you to hand the camera over. You obliged, letting him point the lens at you and fiddle with the knobs along the top. His slender fingers navigated the controls with a practised ease.
âRelax,â he added softly, noticing your fidgeting. Twenty-something years, and you had made little progress in mastering the art of posing for photos. âPretend the cameraâs not here, and itâs just you and me.â
Right. Like that was supposed to make you loosen up.
âI actually used to be really into photography. Got pretty good at it too,â he said.
âReally? I donât remember that.â
âPicked it up in uni,â he explained. âHad all this free time on my hands and didnât know what to do with it. Besides drinking.â A pause. âHonestly, first year second semester was pretty rough after⊠you know.â
The last part caught you somewhat off-guard. After that fateful April night, you had always assumed Jaehyun was off living his best life, blowing through society events with the new friends he had made, maybe even letting a few of them warm his bed now that you werenât around. It wouldnât have been the biggest surprise. Even at nineteen, Jaehyunâs good looks were uncontested. His sweet and attentive personality was the cherry on top of an already delectable cake. Whatever he got up to when the sun set, you were none the wiser, having completely wiped his existence from your phone by the time your first semester exam period rolled around.Â
Though you didnât go as far as to block his number, he never reached out, and so Jeong Jaehyun became a relic of the past, embracing his newfound freedom now that he had shed himself of you, his unwanted baggage.
Or so you thought.
âBut yeah,â he continued, âI started getting into photography. Burnt a hole in my wallet trying out a bunch of different cameras,â he said with a chuckle. âI liked film the most though, I think. Itâs the only one I still use now.âÂ
âWhat do you like about it?â
He took a moment, pausing in thought. âThe colours, mostly. How itâs a bit muted, it has that vintage feeling.â You hummed in agreement. âSelfies on a film camera are fun as well.â
âYou must really like looking at yourself,â you teased, enjoying the sight of his ears flushing with colour from where they poked out above the camera.
âNot like that,â he said in reply to the raise of your eyebrows. âItâs more like⊠when you take a selfie on film, you canât see yourself, right? Whether the focus is focusing, or if the angle is right.
âOr if your whole face is actually in the shot, not just your right eye.â
âExactly. But then taking the picture anyway. Thatâs what I like.â He pulled away from the camera to flash you a small smile. âIsnât it funny, the way we try so hard to capture moments of time?â
Jaehyunâs attention returned to the viewfinder, leaving you to quietly dwell on his words. How else could one keep a piece of time stored away if not through photos? And yet, photography would never be able to capture the entirety of a moment the way a memory could. The sound of the bandâs bass guitar from the side stage in the adjacent garden. The smell of summer carried by the evening breeze as it ruffled through his hair.
The warm feeling in your chest as you sat across from him at this wooden picnic bench, surrounded by people, sharing wistful conversation and a basket of fries.Â
The feeling of coming home.
The shutter clicked.
âGot it. That last one is going to turn out so nice.â Jaehyun smiled triumphantly, cheeks dimpling. âIf you make this your profile picture you have to add the âphoto byâ. I need my credits.â
You blinked away the precarious thoughts. âAlright, mister photographer man, give it back now. Donât use up all my film before Lauv.â
He handed the camera back to you, looking very pleased with himself. The light from the nearby tents cast a dusky glow over his face. Jaehyun from Digital was sharp and polished. The Jaehyun before you now, with his hair dishevelled from taking off the cap earlier, was softer, more open, and more subtle in the way he had slipped under your defences and picked the locks chained around your heart.Â
The question now was whether youâd let him in further than you already had.
He tugged at his collar. âGod, itâs still muggy at night, isnât it?âÂ
âYou stay here, Iâll get us some more beers,â you said, already standing up.
If anything, you were grateful for the errand, a welcome distraction from the tumultuous battle between your heart and your head that always forged on at any thought of him. The line for the bar was no shorter than it had been half an hour ago, to nobodyâs surprise (this was a festival in Seoul, of course the queues would be severe) and it was a while before the two cold plastic cups were in your hands.Â
The short time away from him had given you the space to steer your mindset back onto the charted platonic course. A little voice in the back of your mind objected, and was making a damn convincing argument about why you should be more inclined to go beyond plain friendship with Jaehyun, but you chose to ignore it, suppressing the nagging with a deep breath and a smile that you hoped looked less conflicted than how you felt. Beers in hand, you carefully made your way back to the picnic table â only to be met with a rather interesting sight.
Jaehyun was still where you had left him, thankfully. But the two girls that now stood around him were a new addition.Â
âHey,â you greeted, tapping him on the shoulder to pass him one of the beers. The taller girl visibly deflated when he flashed you a grateful smile, taking the plastic cup from your hand. The shorter one, however, ran her eyes up and down your figure with an almost calculating gaze.
âIs this your friend?â the shorter one asked, question directed at Jaehyun.
âUh, yeah, umâhi,â you answered very eloquently, introducing yourself. You tossed a glance between Jaehyun and the two girls. âDo you umâare you guys friends?â
âWell, no, not really. Minjeong and Jimin just cameââ
âWe were actually going to ask if you guys wanted to join us up closer to the main stage?â the shorter one (Minjeong perhaps?) asked, flashing a sweet smile you suspected was more for Jaehyunâs benefit than yours. âWe have a blanket and a few chairs set up, so you can sit and watch the closing set. Itâs much more comfortable than standing inside the barricade.â
âJaehyun looked a little lonely by himself,â the taller one added.
Lonely because you left him for ten minutes to go get some cold drinks? These girls were unbelievable.
âWhat do you say? Want to join us?â
Maybe you shouldâve taken the group of highschoolers on the subway earlier more seriously as a forewarning. Not that you had any say in what Jaehyun could and could not do â he was his own person, and the closest thing you had to a claim on him had disintegrated years ago. If he wanted to go hang out with pretty strangers, he could go and do exactly that, and you didnât have to follow him either. The invitation had clearly been meant for him more than it had been for you.
So what if you had been looking forward to enjoying the last set together? You were a big girl. You could brave the main stage crowds by yourself if you had to.
Jaehyun glanced at you, searching your eyes while you tried your best to keep your face neutral and devoid of the uneasy thoughts bubbling away beneath your skin. He was his own person. He could make his own choices.Â
After a second or two, he seemed to find what he was looking for, and turned back to the two expectant girls with a polite smile. âWeâll take our chances with the pit,â he answered. âBut thank you for the offer. Thatâs kind of you guys.â
The two girls made their exit shortly afterwards, but not without a final look at him, and a decidedly less enthusiastic one at you. It was quiet for a few moments, the two of you sipping on your beers without a word, waiting for the other to speak.
âYou could have gone with them if you wanted to,â you finally mumbled, eyes fixed on the contents of your cup.
To your surprise, Jaehyun let out a soft chuckle. âI donât know if you noticed, but Iâm pretty sure Minjeong had an engagement ring on her finger.â
âOh, what?âÂ
You definitely had not noticed, too occupied by the saccharine looks she was throwing his way.
âYeah. It was a pretty big diamond too. I think she must have forgotten to take it off today.â
You turned to look at him then. Jaehyun already had his eyes on you, sporting a lazy grin. âCome on, you canât think Iâm the type to mess around with married women?â
âThatâs not what IâI didnât knowââ
âDonât worry,â he interjected. âYouâre still cute when youâre jealous.â
The quick heat rising to your face dispelled any of the remaining nonchalance in your expression. âI wasnâtâIâm not jealous,â you spluttered. âI was just worriedâI mean, not worried,â you paused, sighing. âI thought youâd leave me.â
His eyes sought out yours, keeping them captive once they grabbed a hold.Â
âI wouldnât leave you.â
The teasing brevity to his voice had disappeared. Somehow, you had the feeling he wasnât simply talking about the jazz festival. The sincerity in his gaze made it hard to look away, but you had to, in the name of self preservation. Too long staring into those brown eyes was an unnecessary test of the upper limits of your heart rate.Â
âMaybe she came with her husband. He could be up there on that picnic mat, waiting for her.â
He laughed, throwing his head back. âTrust me, if her husband was here, she would not have been looking at me like that.â
To their credit though, finding a spot to watch the main stage proved to be rather difficult now that everyone had arrived to catch the final act. For a moment you considered leaving the pit to take the two girls up on their offer. But with Jaehyun by your side, you were able to navigate the crowds with a bit more peace of mind, his presence a solid and comforting anchor within the sea of people. A few rogue pushes here and there had you stumbling â and perhaps the two beers on a rather empty stomach were coming on faster than you had expected â but he was there, steadying you with a gentle hand around your arm, or the light press of his firm chest against your back.
And maybe you leaned into him for longer than necessary to regain your balance, but was that really a crime? To enjoy the touch of a friend? Was it a crime for warmth to pool in the pit of your stomach at the sight of him swaying along to Lauvâs Enemies?
No, the little voice in your head denied forcefully. Jaehyun grooving to the music had always been one of your weaknesses.Â
As the closing chords of Paris in the Rain sounded out across the venue, you pulled out your film camera.
âWalking down an empty street.â
A gentle nudge of Jaehyunâs shoulder had him turning towards you, nose scrunched in a happy half-laugh from watching the performance. You moved to face the back of the crowd and raised the camera high, pointing it towards the two of you.Â
Was the stage in the shot? Was Lauv?Â
Were you?
âPuddles underneath our feet.â
Call it courage, or liquid courage, or just plain recklessness on your part. Rising up on your tiptoes, you pressed your cheek to his, and clicked the shutter button.Â
The final chord of the song struck, softly, like an afterthought, and the crowd burst into appreciative hoots and applause, marking the end of the performance.
You were beaming as you turned back towards him. âDo you think I got that one?â
Jaehyun simply stared at you, lips parted and turned up slightly at the corners. He looked more caught off-guard than he had when you had told him you thought all the Cigarettes After Sex songs sounded the same. You felt the glowing smile on your face slip, little by little, as you let his eyes roam your features, gaze indecipherable. They flitted to your lips, and for a second you were sure you stopped breathing.
Just do it! Just fucking do it! screamed that little voice in the back of your mind.
And perhaps you wouldâve done it too, whatever it was, if it werenât for the shove from behind that sent you almost face-planting into his chest.
âWhat the hell?â you yelped, whipping your head around.Â
What was with the people here today? You never thought jazz lovers could be so aggressive and insensitive to othersâ personal space. Trying to find the perpetrator was a futile task, since the crowd had started to disperse following the end of the performance, moving in all directions.
Jaehyun looked over you with concern, the earlier expression on his face now gone.Â
âCome on,â he finally said, fingers gently circling around your wrist. âLetâs get out of here before we get trampled by the crowd.â
Overhead, the blue-black sky that had been so cooperative for the whole day emitted a low rumble, as if to emphasise Jaehyunâs words. Sure enough, by the time the two of you arrived at the station, it had started to sprinkle. Perhaps the clouds had been holding back the rain until the very end of the festival. How considerate of them, you thought.
The ride back into the city felt shorter than the one to the venue, though it couldnât have been. Saturday nights were even busier than the weekday rush hour, with people young and old out and about, ready to tame the weekend with sheer determination and a bottle of soju in the stomach. This time, there were no free seats in your carriage, but you didnât mind. Standing with Jaehyun, your heads pressed together to go through the videos in his camera roll, made the time pass faster. There was something to his photos, you decided. Something in the angle, or the light, or the composition, that made them look nicer than the ones on your phone. Maybe you ought to take a photography course too.
The clouds may have been considerate enough for the festival to hold off dumping their contents during the day, but they certainly were not for the two of you tonight. Standing under cover at the subway station exit, you watched as the torrential deluge only seemed to worsen. Thunder cracked angrily through the air. It wasnât July without the threat of flash flooding.Â
âAny drivers around?â Jaehyun asked.
You gave a sad shake of your head. âNobodyâs picking up my request. Must be because of the rain,â you muttered. Overhead, the sky split open with a strike of lightning, startling you, and you jumped back a bit, further into the covered area of the exit.
âHow about the bus?â
âI think I just missed one,â you answered, checking the timetable on your phone. âIt says the next isnât for another twenty minutes. But with the rain, it might be delayed even longer.â
You flicked through the taxi app, then the bus timetable app, and then finally back to the weather app, which you always seemed to forget to check on days like this. Three consecutive 100% signs stared back at you, and you let out a sigh. The sky would not be clearing up anytime soon.
âMy apartment is only two streets down, if you want somewhere to wait out the rain,â he said.
You looked up at him. The smile on his face was guileless, but at the same time, there was something guarded about it, like he was expecting your rejection. Perhaps you had studied his face for too long, because then he was shifting his weight from one foot to the other, and averting his eyes to the ground.
âOr you donât have to, we could justââ
âOkay,â you said.
His head shot back up. âOkay?â
You shrugged, a smile finding its way to your lips. âIâd rather not be soaking wet on the bus.â
âOkay,â he repeated, corners of his mouth turning upwards to mirror yours. âTo my place, then.â
The usual five minute walk to Jaehyunâs apartment from the subway station turned into a two-and-a-half minute mad dash under the downpour. Despite your attempts at keeping to storefront shelters and ducking under the cover of big trees, the short trip had ended up with the both of you drenched to the bone, teeth chattering as you dripped rainwater all over his lobby.
You said a silent apology to the building cleaners.Â
It was a relief to be dry again. Jaehyunâs sweats swamped you, the French terry fabric pooling around your feet as you sat on the couch in his living room. The top was no better, reaching almost to your knees, with the sleeves completely covering your fingertips. His clothes werenât always this big on you. At least he still used the same pine-scented laundry detergent.Â
The sound of the running shower blended smoothly with the raindrops pelting violently against the balcony window. You wrung your hands, unsure of what to do while you waited for him to come out of the bathroom. It was easy to feel out of place in a home foreign to you. The sleek furniture and minimalist colour palette of the apartment looked nothing like Jaehyunâs childhood bedroom.Â
Maybe you shouldnât have agreed to come to his place. While you were pretty sure he hadnât invited you up with any ulterior motives in mind, there was still something ambiguous about being in your ex-boyfriendâs home and wearing his clothes. And only his clothes.Â
You would have liked to keep your undergarments on, but they had also been soaked through. Going bare in these too-big sweats had seemed the less questionable option, compared to sitting with a wet patch around your butt and crotch. Heat flooded your face as you thought about your underwear and bra hanging on the heated towel rack in the bathroom.Â
Whatever. It wasnât like they were things heâd never seen before. And as for his clothes, of course youâd wash them before giving them back to him.Â
It was then that you decided that you had enough of sitting around in a puddle of fabric and your own thoughts. Jaehyunâs living room wasnât all that big, even if it felt roomier than your own, with enough space to fit a decently-sized couch and small coffee table. The tv on the far wall sat atop a rather large entertainment unit that, upon further inspection, also housed a record player and an impressive collection of vinyls.Â
You padded over, eyes flicking through the various titles printed on the covers. One of them had been taken out from the shelf and sat splayed on top of the cabinet. Maybe he had meant to play it, or just forgotten to put it away. Slowly, you let a finger trace around the edge of the jacket and over the black lettering of the title. Youâd recognise that white album cover anywhere.
Only you knew how much effort it had taken to source the thing, scouring auction sites and dodgy online stores until you finally bit the bullet and ordered it from a reasonable-looking seller with a 4.7 star rating. But it had all been worth it. The unadulterated joy on Jaehyunâs face as he undid the wrapping paper to reveal Frank Oceanâs Blonde was not something you could easily forget. Later, you found out that it had probably been a bootleg, since the official Blonde vinyls were a limited release, but he had hardly batted an eye when you broke the news.
âStill my favourite birthday present that anyoneâs gotten me,â Jaehyun said.Â
Dressed in a plain white tee and a pair of grey sweatpants, he leant against the bathroom door, surveying you with an easy smile. You must not have heard the shower turn off, the noise drowned out by the storm raging outside. His hair, still damp from the shower, hung over his eyes, and you watched as he brushed it back with his right hand, arm flexing with the movement.
The sudden flare in your lower belly was something youâd rather not feel, alone in these four walls with him, with nobody else around to witness or put a stop to whatever might follow. Youâd like to think self control was something you had a firm grip on, but it seemed Jaehyun was made to put you to the test.
âActually think it might be my favourite present ever,â he added, pushing off the door frame. He reached you in a few strides, maintaining a polite distance between your bodies.
âI didnât even realise you still had this,â you murmured, letting him take the record from your hands. You tried not to flinch at the brush of his fingers against yours. âYou didnât even have one of these back then,â you said, lightly tapping the case of the record player.
âI changed my mind, actually. The turntable is my favourite present.â
An unfamiliar twinge of dread zipped through you. âWho gave it to you?âÂ
Could it be an ex-loverâs gift sitting on display in his living room? That did not sit nicely in your stomach.
âMyself.âÂ
He was holding back a laugh, eyes squeezed into crescent moons and too busy appreciating his own joke to catch the quick roll of your eyes. Instantly, your chest felt a little lighter, and the dread vanished as quickly as it had come on.
âHere, let me put it on,â he said, shuffling over towards you to lift up the case on the record player. With gentle fingers and a delicateness you didnât see often, he unsleeved the record and carefully placed it on the turntable. A few fiddles with the side knobs and a precise adjustment of the needle arm later, the opening bars of Frank Oceanâs Pink and White filled the air of his living room.
For a minute, there were no words exchanged, the two of you simply content to enjoy the music as it filtered through the speakers. There was a quiet smile on Jaehyunâs face. You wondered if he, like you, was thinking of the last time you had listened to this album together.
The image of the two of you, sprawled out on his bed, sharing a pair of wired earphones, was hard to shake. It had been early evening, or nearly twilight. Sometime before sunset. The reflection on the ceiling of his childhood bedroom had changed along with the sky, until the only light left in the room was the dim blue glow from the laptop on his desk. At his motherâs call for dinner, he had gently shaken you awake, fingers light on your shoulder and against your cheek.Â
Jaehyun was undoubtedly handsome in the light. But there was something about dusk and the softness of the shadows on his face that made him all the more compelling. You usually werenât one to initiate, so the kiss you pressed to his mouth in the barely-lit room had surprised you both.Â
Even now, the thought strangely sent a flood of heat to your cheeks.
âSorry, did you want something to eat? I havenât been a very good host.â
The grumble of your stomach answered before you could. You bit back an embarrassed smile, but Jaehyun was not so frugal with his amusement, letting out a short chuckle. Your feet followed him as he made his way to the kitchen. Perched on the marble countertop, you watched as he rummaged through the fridge.
âI have eggs, yesterdayâs leftovers, and a shit ton of beer cans,â he announced.Â
You exchanged a glance.
âLetâs do ramen, actually. That sounds better.â He bent down to dig through the pantry, pulling out two red packets, before moving back to the fridge and getting two eggs. âI can crack these in too, andâwhy are you looking at me like that?â
It was your turn to laugh, the wide grin on your face a contrast to the cautious smile on his.
âAre we having ramen?â
His brow creased a little. âI thought you liked ramen?â The innocent tilt of his head made him all the more endearing to look at.
âI do, but⊠did you really invite me back to your place⊠to have ramen?â
It took a few seconds for the ball to drop. You held back giggles as his ears flushed hotly, as they always seemed to do on the occasions you decided to indulge yourself and tease him.
âCome on, thatâs notâyouâre doing it on purpose,â he said, bottom lip jutting out with the suggestion of a pout. Despite his grumbles, the shape of his mouth slowly settled into a defeated smile at your visible glee of having flustered him.Â
Jaehyun, soft-spoken and easy-going, was not the type to be easily ruffled. You excelled and enjoyed the challenge of it more than most.
âNo,â he said once your laughter had somewhat subsided, voice low and velvety. âBut I wouldnât be opposed.â
And suddenly it wasnât so funny anymore.
The silence that followed was a loud one. It was hard to ignore the way your mouth dried up at his words. Something warm and tingly spread from your stomach all the way down to your toes as you stood there under his level gaze, eyes drawn to his like magnets. He had to know. The effect his words had on you were surely plastered all over your face, obvious in the tight grip of your fingers against the countertop and the shortening of your breaths.
Jaehyun leaned in a little closer and you felt the inhale stick in the back of your throat. Then he cracked a crooked smile, pretty teeth all on display.Â
âDonât dish it out if you canât take it.â
He moved away then, busying himself with pouring water into a pot and bringing it to a boil while you tried to blink yourself out of the daze. âRamen okay?â he asked over his shoulder.
You cleared your dry throat, somehow finding your voice again. âRamen is fine. Thank you,â you added after a beat. You took a deep breath, waiting for the rush of blood to drain from your face.Â
Something sour settled in your chest â something akin to disappointment, though surely it couldnât be. Disappointed that what? Jaehyun wasnât actually sexually attracted to you? When you were obviously still attracted to him, despite all your attempts at convincing yourself you werenât?
You scoffed to yourself. As if.
A quick shake of your head was almost enough to clear your mind, save for the remnants of that sour feeling that lingered. You asked if there was anything you could do to help, not wanting to simply sit around on your thumbs and wait to be fed. He had insisted you do exactly that, warning you there was only enough space in the kitchen for one, and assuring that there was nothing he needed from you besides patience and faith in his cooking.Â
Patience you could give him. Faith was a little harder to muster, given your memories of the kitchen disaster from when he had tried to make okonomiyaki.Â
The questionable, half-burnt half-uncooked taste was one thing. You finding random pieces of cabbage on the tiled floor for days afterwards was another thing entirely.
However, it seemed Jaehyun had improved from his old ways. The steaming pot he brought over to the coffee table not only smelled delicious, but looked the part too. You helped carry over the small bowls and chopsticks, along with two cans of beer, despite his requests for you to just sit and be ready to eat.
You took the first bite, blowing on the noodles to cool them down before slurping them into your mouth. All the while, he watched you, an expectant expression painting his face.Â
âWow. Youâve grown up, Jeong Jaehyun. Who wouldâve guessed youâd become such a whiz in the kitchen?âÂ
He smiled, a bashful one at your compliment. âBeing able to cook ramen is nothing impressive,â he said, digging in with his own chopsticks.
âThere was no way you could have made this for me when we were 17. Look at this egg!â The centre was perfectly soft, not too runny, but not rock hard either. Just the way you liked them.Â
You took another mouthful. âYouâre a changed man,â you said. âHonestly, your place is a lot cleaner than I expected it to be.â
âThatâs what living with four other guys will do to you. I had to learn how to clean out of pure survival,â he chuckled.Â
âWas it really that bad?â
He grimaced. âYou shouldâve seen my dorm room. Basically a biological hazard.â
âThey didnât let non-students into the building. Your building RA was crazy scary, remember?â Even now you could remember the perpetual scowl of the law major when Jaehyun brought you into the dorm lobby.
âIt was probably for the best. You wouldâve broken up with me on the spot the second you walked through the door.â
You shared a laugh. Strangely, jokes about your break-up were light-hearted in their landing, the words leaving much less of a prickly uncomfortableness than you had been expecting. Perhaps it was still an event of importance in your life, but that cloudy unpleasantness you had come to associate it with had dissipated. It was a turning point, certainly. But so was graduation, and moving out, and travelling overseas for the first time.Â
Your feelings about those things werenât all bad. As you shared the pot of ramen and sipped on your beers, you realised, neither were your feelings about Jaehyun.
âIâm telling you, I was drinking Taeyong under the table. And I do mean that literally. He was passed out and laid across the stools.â He grinned, proud at the memory of beating his senior even five years later. You couldnât help but grin too, amused by the sincerity of his expression and the way his shoulders set in accomplishment.
âOkay, okay. So now youâre a better drinker, youâve gotten good at cooking, and youâre cleaner too.â
âAnd funnier,â he added.
âThat one is still up for debate,â you joked, and his eyebrows furrowed together in mock offence. Digs at his sense of humour were not taken lightly.Â
âJust because you donât get my high quality gags,â he sighed, shaking his head. âYouâre missing out.â
You nodded, making a noise of agreement if only to appease him.Â
âWhat about me? How am I different?â you asked, voice curious.Â
Jaehyun didnât miss a beat. âHmm, I think you got older?â
âCome on, Iâm being serious!â
His laughter subdued then, surveying you thoughtfully. A quiet smile tugged at his lips when he spoke again.Â
âYouâre more outspoken than you used to be.â He paused, taking a sip from his can while trying to find the right words, all the while keeping his eyes on you. âYou prioritise yourself more. And youâre more sure of who you are. You shine brighter, I think.â
Strange, how a personâs gaze could strip you down and make you feel so naked. There was nothing but earnestness in his eyes, plain and absolute, and the intensity of it was almost too much for you to bear. After all your time apart, Jaehyun could still see you, and see through you.Â
I think you still know me inside out, and that scares me, you wanted to tell him.
Instead, you looked away first, tearing your eyes away from his with considerable effort. The pot of ramen on the coffee table, lukewarm now, was almost finished. The music had also stopped playing a while ago. Neither you or Jaehyun had bothered to get up and flip the vinyl to the other side, too busy eating. All that was left was the rain, and even that had faded to a soft pattering against the glass, following its own rhythm.Â
Hastily, you stuffed a piece of kimchi into your mouth, for lack of anything better to do. The crunch of it in your mouth was loud, and you fought back a cringe.
âDid your mother make this?â you asked, hoping your attempt at diverting the conversation wasnât so obvious.
If Jaehyun noticed, he didnât show it, only nodding in confirmation.Â
âShe dropped some off last month,â he replied. âRemember how you told me herâs was better than your own motherâs?â
You let out a scandalised gasp. âAs if I would ever say such a thing! Donât let my mother ever hear something so blasphemous about her favourite daughter.â
âYouâre her only daughter.â
âAnd you care too much about technicalities. Just because Iâm the only one doesnât mean I canât still be the favourite.â
The crisp crunch of another piece of kimchi punctuated the end of your sentence. There was certainly something different about Mama Jeongâs recipes. If there was one thing you missed besides Jaehyun himself, it would have been his motherâs cooking. The woman knew her way around a stovetop better than a Michelin chef, at least in your eyes.Â
You thought of her warm smile, and her even warmer embrace. Jaehyun had inherited many things from her, kindness being the greatest of them. Back then, she had been so sure of your future place in their family, welcoming you into her home as if you were her own daughter. You wondered where she stood on that now.
Still clinging onto that idea, perhaps, or were her sights now set on someone else?
âYouâve got somethingâŠâ Jaehyun murmured.
He reached across the table, over the pot and the small bowls, the movement quick and almost instinctive. Soft fingers found purchase on your left cheek. His thumb was gentle as it brushed away the stray chilli flake from the corner of your mouth.
Just the lightest touch against your bottom lip. And the warmth of his hand cradling your face.
Then he froze, as if to catch himself, but the damage was already done.
Jaehyun pulled his hand back with a start, an inscrutable expression across his face. He spilled a quick apology that you smiled away, putting on a composed front. At least, you assumed it was an apology. It was hard to hear anything above the buzzing chaos of your mind. The air filled with idle noise as the two of you shuffled in your seats.
âI should umâI should probably get going,â you mumbled, avoiding his eyes. The meal had long been finished. Your hands were already beginning to gather up the bowls and utensils into a stack for easy carrying.Â
Jaehyun hummed, something akin to resignation in the noise. âYeah, uh⊠I guess so.â
âLet me help you clean up first, and then Iâll be on my way.â
Despite his protests against you assisting with any kind of housework, there you were at the sink, helping him scrub everything nice and clean within the small space of his kitchen. Maybe he was right about there only being enough space for one person behind the counter. The aluminium beer cans went into their designated bins, and you made sure to wipe down the coffee table too.
This time, your half-damp, half-dried clothes found their way into a Byredo shopping bag â Jaehyun would rather die than not smell good â though your shoes still squelched rather uncomfortably when you slipped your bare feet in. By luck, you were able to book a taxi and could pass on the wet walk to the bus stop.
You thanked him again for bringing you along, noting that you probably got more out of the alleged âfavourâ than he did.Â
âTrust me, going with you made the whole thing so much better,â he said, both cheeks dimpling in your favourite smile of his. âAnd let me know if you need to get the film on your camera developed. I know a place.â
The ride home was flavoured by a sudden loneliness. Maybe it was the view of the city at night, or the absence of people out on the rainy streets, that had an empty feeling settle in your chest.Â
Perhaps you should have delayed leaving his apartment. Perhaps you shouldnât have left at all, and instead weathered the night away with Jaehyun on the couch, some slasher flick playing on the television while you shook under the blankets and tried not to scream at the jumpscares, like you used to. You never did understand why he liked horror films as much as he did.
Perhaps heâd slot his fingers between your own and give them a reassuring squeeze, and gaze at you with the kind of amused fondness he only ever reserved for you.
Heat flooded your face. As if you were entertaining the thought of spending the night at your ex-boyfriendâs place. And getting butterflies at the thought of holding hands?Â
How embarrassing.
One thing was for certain. The walls you had put up were cracking, and there seemed to be little hope of patching them up.
âWill you stop messing with that thing?â
Jungwoo clicked his tongue against his teeth, fingers still fiddling with the ribbon on the gift bag.Â
âItâs not straight,â he grumbled, pulling at the bow.
âYouâre so pedantic.â
âItâs called being detail-oriented,â he fired back, leaning against the backseat of the taxi with a sigh.
You raised an eyebrow. âYou say that like Iâm not.â
âWell,â he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders. His mouth formed the shape of a smirk.Â
You flicked a glance towards the rearview mirror, checking to see if the driver was paying attention to the two of you in the back. After verifying he was not, you landed a few (softâŠish) punches on Jungwooâs upper arm, revelling in the shocked little noises he made, along with a few mumbles of âthat actually hurtsâ and âcrazy womanâ.Â
How nice it was to let your hands fly without the threat of some other fifth floor witness reporting you for physical harassment.Â
âIâm telling Joy the present is entirely from me,â you warned, turning around to face the front again.
âRight, except the card inside says my name too. So thatâs not going to work.â
You reached into the gift bag, pulling out said card before rolling down the window. âLet me just throw this out.â
It was Jungwooâs turn to deliver a light smack to your wrist. You dropped the envelope back in the bag, not without tossing an eye-roll his way. He knew just as well as you did that there was no real substance behind the threats â banter with Jungwoo was more for amusement than anything else. Deep down, you were quite fond of him, even if your actions tended to say otherwise, and youâd like to wager he quite enjoyed your company too.Â
You couldnât wait to get a few shots in him later tonight. Word had it he was a notorious lightweight.Â
âHopefully nobody vomits. Iâd hate to be cleaning that up in my own house.â He shuddered at the thought.Â
âOh, donât you worry about that,â you smiled sweetly, patting him on the shoulder. âYou just focus on sticking to your limit, okay? I heard what happened at last yearâs wrap up event.â
He bristled. âNothing happened! It honestly wasnât even that bad. Iâm getting unfairly slandered,â he sulked. âI think you should stop hanging out with Joy so much.â
âYeah, alright. Should we just skip her birthday party and turn the car around then?â
âShut up.â
The taxi pulled up in front of Joyâs apartment complex, a tall modern thing with much bigger windows than your own building. And so much more glass, too. After splitting the taxi fare with Jungwoo, the two of you stood at the entrance, waiting for the intercom to connect.Â
âAre you sure you pressed the right buttons?â Jungwoo asked, peering over your shoulder.
âYes, of course. Apartment 814.â
âMaybe you should let me try.â
You let out a sigh. âItâs three numbers, Jungwoo. How is it going to be any different if itâs you pressing them instead of me? Do you think the keypad is going to magicallyââ
âHello?âÂ
An unfamiliar male voice crackled through the intercom. âAre you here for Joy?âÂ
âYes,â you and Jungwoo answered in unison.Â
âGreat, Iâll come down to get you guys now. Will only be a minute!â and then the line disconnected.
You and Jungwoo exchanged a glance. âIs he going to let us in?â you asked.Â
âHe literally said heâd come down to get us,â he answered flatly. âDo you not listen?â
âIt was hard to hear him clearly with all the noise in the background,â you grumbled in defence. Hopefully Joyâs walls were thicker than your own, and her neighbours would not lodge a complaint halfway through the night.
The elevator doors slid open to reveal the face of the intercom answerer. It wasnât detective work to match up the real thing to the pictures Joy would sometimes show you, though he looked taller in real life than he did in the photos from their weekend Jeju trip.
âSorry about the wait, it was a bit hard to hear the doorbell,â he greeted, ushering you both inside with a warm smile. âIâm Doyoung, by the way.â
You and Jungwoo both introduced yourselves as you stepped into the elevator after him, to which he responded with a hum in recognition, and a knowing grin.
âAre you on door duty for the night?â Jungwoo asked.
Doyoung nodded, pressing on the button for the eighth floor. âIt appears I am. She has her hands full with guests to entertain, so,â he trailed off, eyes glazing over for a split second, âyouâll see what I mean when we get up there.â
You had never imagined that a 2-bedroom apartment could fit so many people. Granted, it was nothing compared to the kind of parties you frequented during your university days where cheap spirits and green soju bottles lined the counter, but it was quite a distant cry from the gathering you thought it would be. Judging by the look on Jungwooâs face, he had not been expecting this either.Â
There had to be at least forty people. It almost made you wonder why she didnât just book out a space instead of letting everyone invade her and her boyfriendâs shared home.
Doyoung made his exit rather quickly after letting you in, probably off to tend to one of his many other duties as unofficial host â poor guy was likely in for a very busy night â leaving you and Jungwoo to fend for yourselves in the entryway of the apartment. There was barely any room left in the tiled space for you to put your shoes.
How did Joy even know this many people? was the thought at the forefront of your mind as you helped Jungwoo stack his sneakers next to yours on a rack further down the hallway. Her present was left on a table near the entry piled with gift bags and wrapped boxes that you assumed was the designated drop-off area.Â
Speaking of the birthday girl, you spotted her mingling in the living room and pointed her out to Jungwoo, though it was no easy feat finding her. The number of people, coupled with the dim ambient lighting, made it a challenge to recognise familiar faces. Joy, champagne glass in hand, was swept away in conversation with one of the most beautiful women you had ever laid eyes on. The gorgeous lady held a matching champagne flute in one hand, while the other was wrapped around the arm ofâ
âJunmyeon? What the hell is he doing here with that beautiful woman?âÂ
Jungwoo took the words right out of your mouth, a somewhat displeased noise making its way past his lips. You couldnât help but echo the sentiment.
âCanât believe this turned into a work function the moment we stepped through the door,â you all but groaned. âAnd here I thought having you around was bad enough already.â
You expertly dodged the elbow he jabbed into your side.
Joy spotted the two of you then, lingering by the kitchen, and quickly excused herself from the conversation to rush over. The champagne wobbled precariously in her glass as she approached, engulfing the two of you in a sweet-smelling hug.
âMy little children! Iâm so glad you could make it!â she cried, resting her chin in the space between your shoulder and Jungwooâs. You exchanged a glance with the boy amidst the chorus of âhappy birthdayâs.Â
There was a 77% chance she was drunk already.
âHad a little too much fun tonight?â you asked, helping to prop her upright again.
Joy only beamed in response. âAll the more fun now that you two are here. My favourite fifth floor prisoners.â She gave your cheek a soft pinch.
âQuick question,â Jungwoo began, âwhy is our manager in your house?â
âWith his arm around a beautiful woman way out of his league?â you added, swatting her fingers away from your face.
âThatâs my sister Irene,â she said, like it was common knowledge.Â
You raised an eyebrow. âSince when did you have a sister?â
âOkay, well not my real sister,â she amended, hurriedly waving off your words. âShe was a senior in my department. I was really close with her back in university, so, basically my sister. I think we look pretty alike, honestly.â
âAnd her relation to Junmyeon isâŠ?â
Joy threw a conspiratorial glance around before leaning in, beckoning the two of you closer. This time, a few drops of the champagne did manage to escape via the side of her glass, narrowly missing Jungwooâs white socks.
âI set them up. On a date!â she whispered, eyes glinting with pride. Why she chose to whisper when it was already hard enough to hear her above the noise at her normal speaking level was beyond you.
You blinked at her a few times. âYou set up a goddess like that⊠with our manager?â
Joy waved another hand dismissively. âOh, please. Like Junmyeonâs not handsome too. You only think that because youâre too used to seeing him frown and squint at a monitor.âÂ
You cast a glance in his direction. Maybe she was right. Junmyeon did look somewhat more like a human without his glasses and the semi-permanent lines etched into his forehead. He even looked (dare you say it) quite nice. But maybe it was the poor lighting that made it seem that way.
âAnyways, itâs been about⊠two months now? I think they look pretty good together,â she mused, following your gaze.Â
Junmyeon must have said something funny â a rather loose use of the word by your standards â because Irene had her lovely face scrunched up in a laugh, the pitched sound of it ringing out clearly above the noise of the apartment. In her amusement, she even threw a hand out to slap him lightly on the arm, which he appeared very pleased by.
Sure, you laughed at his jokes too, but it was more out of corporate self-preservation than actual amusement.Â
âHe kind of has been in a better mood recently,â Jungwoo said thoughtfully.
Joy grabbed his hand with fervour. âYes, exactly! See? Thanks to my sacrifice, we can all enjoy a nicer, much more pleasant office environment.â
âIâd hardly call that a sacrifice,â you chuckled. âYou take too much pleasure in playing matchmaker.â Joyâs response was nothing more than a guilty smile, followed by her emptying the rest of the glass.
It was then that you heard it â the deep, reverberating laugh that always bordered a little bit on breathlessness. It was slightly unnerving how quickly you could pinpoint the sound of his voice without even seeing him, or knowing that he had entered the room.Â
You turned around first, eyes drawn to the entry hallway in search of the face to which the laugh belonged. Of course he was going to be here. You knew that. He had said as much two days ago, bidding you farewell across the cafeteria table with a promise to âsee you on the weekend at Joyâsâ.
Lunch with Jaehyun had recently become a rarer occurrence. From what he told you, and the bits of information you gleaned from Joy about Digital, Johnny had pulled Jaehyun onto his team to try and get a firmer grip on the reins not even two weeks ago. Already, the intensity of the new workload was obvious.
You certainly saw him less, much to your disappointment â you could admit that to yourself now.
Jaehyun emerged from the hallway then, midway through another laugh with an arm slung around Doyoungâs shoulders. Funny, how all the other faces were so murky and hard to identify under the dim lighting. And yet, the shape of his dimpled smile was unmistakable to you, as bright as the beacon of a lighthouse on the midnight sea.Â
Doyoung scanned the room, catching sight of Joy with you and Jungwoo. He gestured at his girlfriend, and Jaehyun obediently turned in your direction, likely wanting to give his greetings to the birthday girl.
Your eyes locked, and your heart gave a woeful little squeeze in your chest.
âIâm just going to do a quick check on the drink inventory,â Doyoung said as they approached, âIâll be right back. And please take care of my favourite guest.â With a final friendly pat on Jaehyunâs shoulder, he was off, ducking into the kitchen.Â
âHappy birthday!â Jaehyun beamed, arms circling around Joy in a hug which she enthusiastically returned. He grabbed Jungwooâs hand, pulling him in for one of those man greetings. (Since when were they close?) Their apparent friendship was an unexpected development.Â
And then it was your turn. You wondered if it was as easy for others to find solace in a mere gaze as you did with Jaehyun. His eyes did not stray far, wandering around your face, something tender and comforting in his appraisal of your features. A hand came up to brush against your lower back, a gentle and quiet greeting against the excitement of the previous two. His lips pulled into a soft smile as he called your name in greeting.Â
âYou two are ridiculous,â Joy scoffed.
You inhaled sharply. Was it really that easy to tell? The depth of your attachment?
âYou planned this, right? I mean seriously, matching outfits?â she asked, gesturing at you and Jaehyun.
You blinked a few times, looking down blankly at yourself. The dark wash denim and white silk that you had picked out yesterday looked back at you familiarly. Then you glanced at Jaehyun, taking in his white t-shirt, half tucked into a pair of jeans that were exactly the same wash as yours.Â
The coordination was completely unintentional â you had no idea what you were going to wear tonight the last time you had spoken to him â but the look on Joyâs face told you there was no use in trying to convince her of the truth.Â
(You wouldâve argued that the cowl neck of your white silk top elevated your outfit above Jaehyunâs plain white tee, but you digressed.)
âOkay. Iâm done with this,â Jungwoo said, throwing his hands up in defeat. âIâm going to do what single people do, and that is to get a goddamn drink.â
âMe too, another bubbly,â Joy chimed, grasping onto Jungwooâs arm as he turned to leave for the kitchen. âSee my success rate? Let me set you up with someone. My hairdresserâs daughter went to Korea University Business School and graduated not too long ago.âÂ
The rest of her appeal to play matchmaker for Jungwoo was swallowed up by the music and chatter of her guests. And then it was just you, and Jaehyun, and the thirty other people filling up the living room.Â
The two of you shared a glance before dissolving into a few light giggles.Â
âI do think I pull it off better,â you teased, giving Jaehyun another once-over. He was as handsome as always, the white cotton draped picturesquely across his lean frame while the dark jeans made his mile-long legs look even longer. He could wear a garbage bag and make it look couture.Â
âI wouldnât be so sure about that,â he said with a crooked smile.Â
He raised his arm to reveal the denim jacket draped across his arm that you hadnât noticed before, too busy making sad little googly eyes at him that you hoped other people couldnât see. The jacket was coloured in the same wash as his jeans, and your own.Â
You gave a scandalised gasp. âNo, a matching set? How am I supposed to beat that?â
âYou canât. You can only admit defeat to the double denim. I out-Justin-Timberlaked you.â
âJustin Timberlake is not a verb.â
He only grinned in response, teeth pearly and eyes sparkling as he took in the slight pout of your mouth.Â
âWhatever,â you conceded with a wave of your hand, though a smile crept its way onto your face. âYou win. Letâs get something to drink.â
Jungwoo and Joy were nowhere to be found when the two of you made your way to the kitchen. What you did find was an impressive selection of bottles atop the marble counter, a selection that easily outdid the ones from your university days in both quality and variety.Â
At least one thing was the same. Green soju bottles were always a dependable presence.Â
âShall we go for your favourite?â Jaehyun asked, holding up what looked to be a bottle of wine. You moved a little closer, peering at the label through his fingers.
âI do enjoy a good red,â you replied, accepting the glass he offered you with a quiet âthank youâ. You took a small sip â because tonight, you felt no need to gulp down alcohol like a camel to ease your nerves â before adding, âMerlot is far from my favourite though.â
âReally?â He raised an eyebrow. âI do seem to remember how you pretty much finished a whole bottle by yourself. At dinner, that time at the Italian place.â
You held back a wince at the recollection of that fated blind date. Of course heâd remember that. It would be hard to forget the way you all but sculled down three full glasses in the time it took him to finish one. A quick sideways glance revealed the slight upturn to the corners of his mouth, paired with a telling glint in his eyes. Jaehyun was teasing.
âIt was honestly quite impressive,â he said, lips curling into a full-blown smile now.
âThat was different,â you said. The next sip went down a little faster than you would have liked. âThat was out of necessity.âÂ
There was no way I couldâve made it through that night without alcohol in my system, you almost said, but caught yourself just in time.Â
A few seconds passed before either of you spoke again.
âWere you really upset to see me?â
Gone was the playful lilt to his voice. This question was asked softly, carefully, the sound of it so delicate you were afraid it would shatter in the air at your clumsy reply. Slowly, you turned to look at him, seeking the reassurance you were sure you could find in his eyes, but they had moved to the contents of his own glass. You followed their path, watching as he gave the liquid a few absent-minded swirls.
âMaybe. A little, I think,â you admitted. âI donât know. There was a lot going on in my head that day. When I realised it was you.â
A pair of giggling women â Joyâs guests who you didnât know â approached the counter, one of them tentatively reaching for something in front of you. Noticing her struggle, you shuffled slightly towards Jaehyun, trying to make some space around the counter. The one with her hand outstretched flashed you a grateful smile, which you politely returned, although with far less vigour.Â
Perhaps the bustling kitchen in the centre of all the foot traffic wasnât the best place for a conversation like this.
There was some fussing with the bottle cap, or whatever it was that they couldnât quite get to work, followed by a considerably clean pour for two people who were clearly not quite sober. Then they were gone, giggling the entire way out of the kitchen and freeing up the space around you.
If you wanted to, you could have stepped back and returned to your original spot before their arrival. Put some more distance between you and Jaehyun again. Not that you were seriously encroaching on his personal space, but it was enough for you to recognise the proximity.
Instead, you took the smallest of steps closer and placed a hand on his forearm. His eyes flitted down at the touch, taking in the way your fingers lay feather-light on his skin, just above the ridge of his wrist.Â
âIâm glad it was you,â you said. The words were true, but the honesty of them still tasted odd on your tongue, and you fought back a cringe. Jaehyun finally turned to meet your eyes, some semblance of hope, or maybe it was relief that coloured his expression. âAnd Iâm glad weâre here, now,â you added.
You hoped he knew you werenât talking about the far right corner of Joyâs kitchen.
Jaehyun smiled, and it was like the sun had finally risen up over the stark mountain peak, bathing everything in a warm, golden glow. It was the kind of warmth you didnât realise you craved until the full force of it spilled over you, washing away the blue and the cold.Â
âMe too,â he said softly.
Even if you hadnât fallen victim to Joyâs schemes, you would like to think the two of you would still end up here, only via longer and slightly different routes. Perhaps an unexpected run-in in the lobby on a Tuesday morning, or the eventual and excruciatingly awkward introduction through Joy. Whatever it may have been, youâd like to think you wouldâve found your way to each other again eventually.Â
Curiosity tickled your mind. âWhat about you?â
âHmm?â
He was still smiling, the lines by his nose just visible, and he had his eyes on you, though there was a faraway look about them. Something about his gaze reminded you of the way youâd regard a painting, framed and hung up on a wall in some art museum â carefully examining the details of the brushstrokes against the canvas, yet all the while trying to hold the whole piece in your mindâs eye, and let it touch the surface of that primal emotion somewhere inside of you. The depth of his gaze was enough to make you self-conscious, and you quickly averted your eyes, taking another sip from your glass. It was a good excuse to school your features before you spoke again.
âHow did you feel when you saw me? Were you upset?â
Jaehyun regarded his own glass wistfully. âNot exactly upset, no,â he began, though a movement in his peripheral had him trailing off.Â
Another of Joyâs guests had appeared, hovering beside the two of you with his eyes set on the bottle of whiskey directly in front of you. Politely, Jaehyun side-stepped away from the counter and wrapped a gentle hand around the bend of your elbow, guiding you out of the hectic buzz of the kitchen. It stayed there, warm and comforting, until you found your way back to the open space of the living room, and even then he was slow to let you go, fingertips lingering a just second too long before they retreated back to his side.Â
âI think I was surprised, more than anything,â he continued. âDidnât really know what to expect, not that I was expecting much. I never even thought Iâd get to see you again after university. Thought you were gone for good.â
He paused, one side of his mouth quirking up slightly. The movement was small, and you wondered if you were supposed to have caught it at all.
âYou stood there, with your bag in one hand and your cardigan in the other, looking like you were waiting for me to spontaneously combustââ
âOkay, Iâm sure it wasnât that bad.â
ââand all I could think about was how you were even prettier than I remembered. And back then I already thought you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.â
At that, you were quiet. Whatever silly rebuttal or attempt to defend yourself died quickly on your tongue as you let his confession settle beneath your skin, warming it from the inside out. Jaehyun was not even one bit fazed, looking like he had just said something trivial about the weather, or stated some objective fact like âgrass is greenâ. For him, honesty had never been the heavy, cumbersome challenge it was for you. Judging by the resigned smile on his face, he wasnât expecting some grand response from you either, which was all the better, because god, what were you supposed to say to something like that?
âOh, there you are,â came a voice from behind you, followed by a hand on your shoulder.Â
Joyâs timing was impeccable, as always.
âSorry, this one is coming with me,â she said to Jaehyun, looping her arm around yours with half-drunken determination. âUs fifth-floors have some business to settle. With darts.â
Your eyes followed the direction of her outstretched arm, where sure enough, there was a dartboard hanging on the wall by the balcony. Jungwoo was there, standing obediently with his hands crossed in front of his stomach as he politely nodded along to whatever Junmyeon was animatedly saying. The beer bottle Jungwoo cradled, now forgotten, seemed more like an accessory than an actual beverage. He caught your eye and sent you a frantic look.
You whipped your head back to Jaehyun. âPlease donât let her take me.âÂ
Surely, he could see the pleading, the desperation in your eyes.
Jaehyun, having witnessed the whole exchange between you and Jungwoo, only grinned. âIt does sound like some serious business,â he said, cheeks dimpling. Joy made a noise of agreement and gave your arm a little tug.
âYouâre more than welcome to come and spectate, Jaehyun,â she called out over her shoulder as she herded you towards her destination. His only response was a hearty laugh. You stared at him in despair as you were towed away by the birthday girl. Next time youâd invite his boss to the function.
The game of darts (or seven games, if you were being precise) was decidedly less awful than you had expected. Junmyeon had promised not to speak about work and by some miracle, actually stuck to his word. Maybe you even got to know the guy a little better, outside of his office habits like the specific order in which he drank his three teas everyday (yuja, then chamomile, and lastly peppermint). Like you, he was somewhat of a wine enthusiast, though his knowledge of French vineyards was far superior to yours.Â
By the third round, the game had clearly left your little work circle. Jaehyun joined in at one point, competitiveness getting the better of him. Doyoung tried his hand too, and he was honestly abysmal, but smiled the whole time and seemed to be enjoying himself, even if he had to pick the darts off the floor on every turn. Out of all the players over the course of the seven games, Junmyeonâs date Irene had been the most unexpected hidden card, scoring three bullseyes in a row.Â
Oh, to be a goddess and have perfect hand-eye coordination.Â
âYou feeling okay?â you asked a rather blank-looking Jungwoo. His eyes were beginning to droop, and so was the rest of his body, long limbs sprawled out against the leather. You could swear he only had his initial bottle of beer and the two celebratory soju shots Joy had forced him to take (from which you were not exempt either), and yet here he was, half-asleep on the couch.
âHmm,â was his eloquent reply.
The party was slowly drawing to a close, the living room much emptier now than it had been when you first walked in. Junmyeon and Irene had made their departure some twenty minutes ago, and there were only a handful of guests left, most of them getting ready to leave as well. Grown adults didnât gamble with their sleep schedules.Â
Doyoung emerged from the hallway, running a hand through the mess of hair on top of his head, already tousled from the fifty or so times he had repeated the action throughout the night.
âOkay, sheâs knocked out,â he sighed. On his face, you glimpsed the first sign of relief you had seen all night. âI donât think sheâs going to puke, but I left a bucket by the bed just in case.â
You flashed him a grateful smile. âThank you for tonight. I canât imagine it was easy having to wrangle all these people for so long.â
âOh, itâs no big deal. As long as Joyâs happy and had a good time.âÂ
Even though he was clearly exhausted, Doyoung smiled, and the fondness held within it felt like a private thing you shouldnât have witnessed. Your mind went, now as it always did, to a certain dimpled smile.
âIâd better get this one home,â you said instead, gesturing at Jungwoo slumped on the couch. You turned towards the boy, patting his shoulder gently. âCome on, time to go.â
âMmffh.âÂ
Another brilliant and enlightening response.
The owner of your favourite dimpled smile stepped out from the bathroom to the sight of you struggling to get Jungwoo upright enough to loop an arm around your shoulders. The half-asleep boy was lean, but definitely heavier than he looked, or perhaps the few glasses of wine over the course of the night had sapped some of the strength from your body. Jaehyun was at your side in an instant, shouldering most of Jungwooâs weight as the two of you dragged him to a standing position.
âIâll come with you,â he said, no room for discussion in his tone. You had no mind to protest anyway.Â
Doyoung was already busying himself with clearing plates and glasses from the living area when Jaehyun bid him farewell. The guy seemed to have formulated a detailed plan of attack to get his apartment back to the no-doubt spotless state it had been prior to tonight.
âI sorted out most of the empty bottles so you should be able to just throw them out in the morning,â Jaehyun said over his shoulder. He crouched on the ground, guiding Jungwooâs disobedient left foot into the correct shoe, carefully doing up the laces once both feet were inside their corresponding sneakers.Â
You tossed a glance back at Doyoung whizzing around the place like a Roomba, feeling a pang of guilt for not having done much to help him clean up. Even though you had been a much more gracious and tidy guest than other people in Joyâs company, you couldnât help but feel like there was more you couldâve done, apart from babysitting a very not-sober Jungwoo and making sure he didnât crack his head open on the corner of the coffee table.Â
âItâs fine,â Jaehyun said softly. You turned to look at him, half-surprised, and he only flashed you a small smile. âDoyoung likes to clean. I think he finds comfort in it.â
He was fluent as ever in your micro-expressions. Maybe one day youâd learn to stop being surprised by it.Â
The taxi back to Jungwooâs place was shorter than you had expected. His head lolled between your shoulder and Jaehyunâs in the backseat, before finally finding a home in Jaehyunâs lap. Even when you finally tucked the younger boy safely into his own bed â after going to great lengths to extract his building code which involved a series of profuse apologies to his neighbours who you had mistakenly rung in the middle of the night â there was an impressive imprint on his right cheek that exactly matched the side seam on Jaehyunâs jeans. You couldâve sworn there was a small, wet patch of drool left behind on the denim, and you were sure Jaehyun himself had noticed it too, but he gave no indication of complaint.
âAre you far from here?â Jaehyun asked once the elevator had brought the both of you back down to Jungwooâs lobby.
âIâm actually just a fifteen minute walk away,â you answered.
The invitation in your voice was silent, and you knew he wouldâve accompanied you home even if you lived on the other side of the city. Still, some achingly pleasant emotion settled over you when you heard his footsteps fall in with yours against the pavement. He took his place between you and the open street, shielding you from the bustle of late night delivery bikes and club bound taxis.
Though the days still resembled summer, nights were when the beginnings of autumn could reveal itself. The slight chill in the air was not unbearable, but still noticeable against your bare arms, and just enough for goosebumps to spring up on the skin there. Before you could even bring your hands up to wrap them around yourself, Jaehyun shrugged off his jacket and wordlessly draped it over your shoulders.Â
âThanks,â you mumbled, drawing the collar close around your neck. The stiff denim was a little rough, but warm from his body heat all the same, with faint traces of his woody scent lingering on the fabric.
Jaehyun thrust his hands in his pockets and grinned. âNow you out-Justin-Timberlake me.â
âStill not a real word.â
You supposed there was something about night-time that made it feel all the more forgiving to the emotional afflictions of the human condition. Perhaps it was only against the muted palette of the midnight blue sky and the dimly lit city streets that you felt brave enough to face the truth of your feelings, without agonising over the consequences of acknowledging them. Even so, you found yourself wishing the night would stretch on for just a little longer. Honesty always seemed to wear off faster than it came on.
âYouâve been crazy busy lately.â
Jaehyunâs responding laugh contained little amusement. âCrazy busy is one way to put it. I canât believe Johnny has had to deal with all of this the whole time. This client is so,â he paused, trying to find the right word, before finally settling on âdemanding.â The look in his eyes gave you the feeling there were many other more colourful adjectives he wanted to use instead.
The two of you passed the convenience store corner of your street. Your place was not too far up ahead, the glass building doors almost visible if you squinted. The night was coming to an end, and something cold and heavy settled in your chest to accompany the realisation.
âThey want us in New York working on the new client site as soon as possible, so weâve been running around trying to get visas and everything sorted,â he sighed.Â
Your footsteps faltered.Â
âYouâre going to New York?â you asked.Â
He nodded.Â
âWhen?â
âWithin the next week, if everything comes back approved.â
You hadnât even noticed that you had come to a standstill until Jaehyunâs footsteps also slowed to a stop. The both of you stood like that, under the dim glow from the streetlights, in the middle of the sidewalk.Â
âWeâll probably be there until the end of the year, at least until the design piece is done,â he said.Â
Did your face betray the sudden drop of your stomach? Did the sound of a fissure cracking through your chest escape through the slight parting of your lips?
It was silly, really. That one small piece of information could turn your entire world on its head. International travel on a project wasnât a rare occurrence. And you supposed you wouldâve found out sooner or later, even if he hadnât told you, because he had no obligation to update you about every development in his life, even if they involved crossing continents. Even if you wanted to know every little detail.Â
Jaehyunâs eyes moved from his shoes to your face. The shadows cast by the streetlights made it hard to decipher his expression, but you thought there was a pleading look to his handsome face. What he was pleading for, you werenât entirely sure.Â
You cleared your throat and finally found your voice again. âThatâs really exciting, Jaehyun,â you managed, trying to keep your tone light. âI hear New York is gorgeous this time of year.â
The smile you pasted on your face was a flimsy one, and you could feel your top lip begin to tremble when he didnât quite return it. Before it could turn into a grimace, you let the corners of your mouth fall. There had never been any use in putting on an act in front of him. Unsure what else to say without sounding insincere â though you were excited for him, truly, this little fit of sadness was a silly thing that would pass surely and quickly â you turned and resumed your steps towards your apartment.Â
Another few minutes and youâd be in the safety of your own home. Free to let your top lip tremble and quiver, and let the inexplicable lump in your throat force its way out, rather than try to swallow it down.
It only took a few steps for you to realise that Jaehyun had not followed. You looked over your shoulder to find him standing there by the streetlight, eyes fixed on the ground again.Â
âI donât want to go,â he said, toeing at a crack in the concrete. âIf I didnât have to, I wouldnât. I donât want to leaveâŠâ
You.
He may not have said that last word, but you heard it all the same. Your chest squeezed with emotion you couldnât quite place.
âBut you have to,â you said softly. A gentle breeze blew through the early autumn air and you briefly wondered if your words had been carried adrift.
He looked up at you then, eyes burning into yours with unspoken sentiments. A thousand words were conveyed with that one look, those few seconds in which you understood everything he wanted to say, and nothing he wanted to say, because he hadnât said much at all. Just like how he could read your emotions with a simple glance at your face, you saw his reluctance. You saw the irresolution in his resolve, and how it wavered as he turned over in his mind the things he wanted to say to you, and how much of his heart he was willing to risk.Â
âBut I have to,â he agreed.Â
Jaehyun still knew you inside out, yes, but you knew him too.
Your feet dragged over the last few hundred metres to your apartment complex, until you finally reached the door and there was nothing left you could do to delay the inevitable.
âHere,â you said, handing his jacket back to him. âThank you for walking me home.â
He took it from your outstretched hand, fingers just brushing your knuckles. âOf course.â
And maybe Jaehyun was just as unwilling to let you go. His feet stayed firmly planted on the concrete pavement in front of your building, even though you were pretty sure no harm would befall you across the five steps into the lobby. The two of you stood there for a while, neither quite knowing what to say, or how to ward off the odd melancholy you knew he felt too.
There were so few guarantees of forever in life. You knew that. And even if you had never really gotten him back in the first place, you couldnât shake the feeling that you were losing him again. Except this time, he wouldnât just be a 67-minute subway ride away. This time, heâd be a 14-hour flight away, on the other side of not the city but the world, with 7,000 miles and the entire Pacific Ocean separating you.Â
And yes, heâd come back eventually, but who could promise that the feelings between the two of you now would be the same upon his return? You knew that you were in no position to demand he refrain from exploring other romantic pursuits, to deter him from making new connections in the diverse metropolis that was New York City, and all the excitement and energy that came with it.Â
You had unknowingly gotten in the way of that once.
âWell, Iâd better get inside,â you said quietly, gesturing at the building behind you. Jaehyun only nodded.
This was it. All things must come to an end, you thought as you walked up to the lobby door. Even if they never really started. Perhaps you and your hesitance to let him in had played the biggest part of all, and whatever it was between you and Jaehyun wouldnât be ending before it began if you had only been more forgiving at the start. Less pointy and disagreeable. Perhaps then you would be parting now on more certain terms, and youâd carry some peace of mind knowing heâd be coming back to you, instead of the crushing weight of disappointment currently lodged underneath your sternum.
And yet, what difference did it make? Youâd be losing him anyway, no matter what you did. In two weeksâ time, heâd be sitting in a conference room on a different continent, regardless of whether you said nothing or cussed him out to his face right now.
Your hand froze on the steel handle for only a second before you turned around to face him again. Three determined strides was all it took to close the distance between you.Â
âWhat is it?â he asked.
There had been few occasions where you had seen Jaehyun drunk, or at least not sober, in the years you had known him. Your split early on in university had not afforded you many chances to witness his supposedly high tolerance in action at weekend benders. Nothing more than a few underage sips snuck from his dadâs glass at the dinner table. You took a second now to look at him, really look at him, taking in all the details of the face you knew almost as well as your own.Â
Pink. Everything about him was so pink, from the slight tinge around the whites of his eyes, to the lingering flush in the apples of his cheeks.
To the pretty colour of his soft, full lips.Â
They parted with confusion when you approached. Carefully, you reached out a hand and placed it against his cheek, feeling the way he leaned into your touch almost immediately. His eyes fluttered shut for the briefest of moments before they were searching your face again, almost fervently.Â
âI justâŠâ you whispered, trying to commit this picture of him to memory.Â
What difference did it make?
It was hard to tell who moved first. Youâd like to believe it didnât matter.
The rhythm of your lips against his was unfamiliar at first, clumsy from years of disuse. Through slow and careful movements, you reacquainted yourself with the shape of Jaehyunâs mouth, the pillowy swell of his bottom lip as it gently slid in between your own. It fit there perfectly, like it always did. His hands came up to graze the curve of your waist, resting lightly on your skin as if he was afraid youâd crumble like sand in his grasp.Â
You tilted your head, parting your mouth ever so slightly to let the tip of your tongue brush against the underside of his top lip. The kiss changed immediately. You felt his surprise in the small puff of air that escaped through his nose and landed softly against your cheek. His fingers gripped at you with a newfound strength, pulling you flush against him. Even through the fabric of your shirts, the outline of his toned chest was unmistakable. Your hands found their home in the softness of hair at the nape of his neck, revelling in the throaty sound that left him as you ran your hands through it.Â
How had you denied yourself of this for so long?
Jaehyun must have pulled away first, because suddenly you could breathe again, shaky gasps coming in and out through your mouth. He fared no better, pressing his forehead gently against yours while he tried to catch his breath.
You couldnât think. You felt electrified, as if every nerve ending in your body was simultaneously firing, as if your blood was laced with dynamite. Hell, you had half a mind to invite him up to your room and finish off what you had so brazenly started.
âItâs late,â he finally managed, voice rough. âYou should head in.â His hands, however, stayed firmly in place around your waist. You watched as his Adamâs apple bobbed up and down with each swallow.
Right. Perhaps it was best to let the night end here, before you could do anything else that you might regret.Â
âYeah, I should probably,â you murmured, catching the way his eyes followed each movement of your mouth as you spoke. The sound of your voice seemed to break the daze he was in, and you felt his grip on you loosen, slowly and reluctantly. The arms you had looped around his neck made their way back to your sides. You were released from his warmth far too quickly.
Impulsive decisions (like inviting your ex-boyfriend to spend the night in your one-bedroom apartment with nowhere to sleep except in your bed) seldom ended well. You shouldâve known better than to make those rookie mistakes.
You had barely turned around to walk up to your building doors when Jaehyun wrapped a warm hand around your wrist and pulled you back into him. He pressed his lips to yours, swallowing the small noise of surprise that left your mouth. This time, his kiss was softer, surer, and in it you tasted the sweetness of unspoken promises he was determined to keep.Â
âIâll see you when I get back,â he said, dark eyes fixed on you with conviction. Your lip colour had smudged by the side of his mouth, leaving behind a faint pink stain that only added to the pretty hue of his now kiss-swollen lips.Â
He was still the most gorgeous person you had ever seen.Â
âSee you when youâre back, then,â you echoed.Â
Some odd emotion, neither happy nor sad, settled in your chest as you pushed open the door to the emptiness of your home. You had rushed to the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of Jaehyun before he left, only to find he had gone already, and the sidewalk outside your building was as vacant as to be expected for this hour of the night.
No matter. Youâd wait for him to come back.Â
âOne more prosecco before he disappears to the bathroom for the rest of the night.â
You cast a glance at the catering table and clicked your tongue against your teeth.
âHalf a prosecco,â you concluded, taking a sip from your own glass.Â
Joy raised a shapely eyebrow at you. âYou know it doesnât hit until at least twenty minutes after he gets the munchies.â
âTrue, but he specifically told me he skipped lunch today so it would hit earlier, and heâd have the energy to mingle.â
âWell,â she shrugged, âI guess thatâd do it.â
The two of you turned your gazes back to the catering table, where Jungwoo was doing some serious damage to the salmon ceviche tostadas. The glass in his hand was empty, and you watched as he asked for a refill from one of the waitstaff.
âSomeone should really stop him,â Joy sighed. âBefore we get a repeat of last year.â
âSomeone should,â you agreed.
Neither of you made a move.
As far as year-end wrap-up events went, this one wasnât too bad, even if it was your first at the company. This year, HR had managed to book one of the smaller function rooms at an upscale hotel, with an open bar and hors dâoeuvres menu to match. It was a nice chance to celebrate the yearâs achievements, and get to know the other people in the department a little better. Already a year in this place, and youâd be lying if you said you knew the name of every person on your floor.
September to November had flown by in a blur. Recruitment for the companyâs graduate program next year had been an intensive few months of screening, interviewing, reviewing, and then interviewing again. As hectic as it had been, the fruits of your teamâs efforts had been warmly recognised with smiles and praises from the senior managers and higher-ups youâd had the chance to speak with tonight.Â
Traditionally, each department hosted their own event, though from what you gathered, HR and Marketing were the only ones that put in any real effort. While HR liked to keep things classy, Marketing liked to go all out.
âDo you think itâs true that Marketing rented out a yacht this year?â you asked. Surely their budget wasnât that excessive.
Joy made a face. âGod, I hope not. Itâs the middle of December. Iâd be surprised if the Han River wasnât all frozen over.â
Winter had come early this year, sinking its cold fingers into November and staking its claim. Yet, there had been no snow, even though it was only a few days out from the holidays. Though it was nice that your clothes stayed relatively dry all day from the lack of precipitation, you couldnât help but miss the sight of the city covered in a blanket of white softness.Â
âThere he goes,â Joy said, nudging your arm. You turned to see Jungwoo excuse himself from the conversation, setting down a barely-touched glass on the tablecloth. He made a beeline for the menâs restrooms, or as close to a beeline as he could manage in his current state, face flushed and a little queasy.
It was a good thing the companyâs holiday closure started tomorrow.
âOkay, you win. Want to come and get a refill with me?â she asked. âWe can say hi to a few of the directors over there.â
The thought of having to network with more seniors, when you had already spent the last hour and a half donning bright smiles and laughing politely at their lacklustre jokes, was not a pleasant one. You knew it would be a good thing for you to go and introduce yourself, but your battery for social interaction had long since been depleted. Perhaps you shouldâve taken a page out of Jungwooâs book.
Still, you flashed Joy a grateful smile. âYou go ahead. I might grab some air, actually.â
âOkay,â she replied, eyes warm with understanding. âBut make sure you put your coat on. Itâs freezing out there.â
She was right, of course. The toasty interior of the function room was a completely different world from the frigid gust of wind that greeted you as soon as you pulled the sliding door open. An upscale hotel needed to have a matching upscale view of the city. You leaned against the balcony railing, blocking out the icy sting of the metal against your hands, and took in the sight of the not-quite-frozen Han River below, and the sparkling Seoul Tower further away on the skyline.
Youâd only be out here for a little bit, you told yourself. Just a few minutes, and then youâd head home.
Truthfully, you could have left half an hour ago when your reserves for socialising had just run out, and be within the warm and familiar confines of your own bed right now, doom-scrolling to your heartâs content. But these days, the solitude of your apartment that you had once found comforting had evolved into a loneliness that youâd rather avoid.Â
The empty echoes of your own footsteps across the tiled floors didnât bounce against the walls like deep laughter did.
Absent-mindedly, you thumbed at the pendant sitting at the hollow of your throat. You had turned your jewellery box inside out, almost fully convinced that you had lost the thing entirely until you finally spotted the milky pearl set in white gold, underneath all the other chains. It was gorgeous when you had first opened the velvet box all those years ago, and it still was now, even if you hadnât seen it for quite some time. Jaehyun always had an eye for beautiful things.
You werenât the only one who endured a few packed and chaotic months. Johnnyâs team had flown out of the country the Wednesday after Joyâs birthday and had been sequestered in New York ever since. Between your swamped schedules and the 14 hour time difference, conversations with Jaehyun were intermittent at best, and sparse and uncoordinated at worst. Sometimes heâd message with silly little things, like the time he sent you a picture of a doll sitting in the window of an antique shop.
this reminded me of you, the accompanying text had said.
He was due back soon, and there was still much left to be said, but above all, you only hoped that he was well, and that the New York winter was much more forgiving than it was here at home.
The cloudy wisps of air formed by your breath floated upwards before they dissipated into the night sky. No wonder the balcony was empty â who would want to be out here when there were mozzarella stuffed mushrooms and central heating on the other side of the glass?
You heard the doors slide open behind you as someone else equally as crazy decided to step out into the cold. Just as well. It was time for you to head back anyways. You turned to make your way inside, only to freeze in your tracks.
âThey told me Iâd find you out here. You really know how to pick a spot, huh?â
A soft gasp left your mouth.
âJaehyun?â
He gave you a smile, your favourite smile, where his dimples were only just visible, and there was the hint of a pout to the shape of his lips. He was here, and he was in front of you, looking at you like you were the most wonderful thing in the world that he would ever have the good fortune of knowing. Your chest swelled almost painfully at the sight of him.
âWhen did you get back? How did you even get in here?â
âWe landed in Incheon earlier this afternoon. I had to pay the door guy outside a hundred bucks for him to let me in.â
Your eyes widened. âHe canât make you do that!â
âJust kidding,â Jaehyun chuckled. âI only had to show him my company ID.â
He walked over to where you stood by the railing and rested his arms against the metal. His profile was sharp against the darkness of the night sky, and you took a moment to study the details while he took in the view.Â
âAre you tired?â you asked. âIt canât be easy adjusting to the time difference.â
âA little,â he admitted. The bags under his eyes were dark and purple now that you could see his face up close. He must have been exhausted. Nobody ever slept well on long haul flights. âYou should see Johnny though. He would have come tonight, but jet lag is seriously kicking his ass.â
You shared a laugh, traces of your breaths mingling in the air. Beside him, you settled back into your original spot, mirroring the way he leaned against the metal railing. Jaehyun was close, but not too close, your elbows only a few centimetres apart. A mellow silence settled over the balcony as you gazed out at the river, watching the never-ending stream of cars as they circled the waterfront.Â
With even this, you were content. His mere presence next to you was a remedy in itself, regardless of the words shared or touches exchanged. You felt more at home in this moment now than you had in over 3 months.
âIâve missed you,â he said, still gazing out into the distance. The gravity in his voice hinted at circumstances beyond the recent season he had spent on the other side of the world. And yet, he had said it so simply, as if the words were an immovable truth that would withstand the corrosion of time.
âIâve missed you too,â you replied.
Maybe it was just that simple, because it was the truth. The nights weathered away in your own apartment were only lonely because there had been an absence of him, an absence that was known to you, even if you had not felt it for many years.
He turned to you, taking in a shaky breath. âI should never have let you go.â
âOh, Jaehyunââ
âI was young, and foolish, and I thought I knew what I wanted. And I had you, but I thought I wanted more, because I wanted everything. I wanted the whole damn world.â
Something sharp pricked behind your eyes as you listened to the honesty pouring out of him.
âAnd then I lost you, and it wasâgod, it was⊠like someone had sucked all the colour out of my life. And I had no one to blame, because I was the one who did that to myself. To us.â
It was so hard to not notice the pain etched into his beautiful features. The tight set of his jaw. The redness that rimmed his eyes. Your fingers ached to reach over and smooth out the crease between his brows.
âThere were so many things I could have done to make things right between us again. Even if you wouldnât have me back. But my pride, and my ego⊠I did nothingââ
âYou canât pin it all on yourself, Jaehyun,â you said, shaking your head. âI had no idea what I wanted. And even when I did, I never actedâI never stood up for myself. I couldâve fought for us, but I didnât. I just accepted everything. Hell, I never even told you how I felt.â
You flashed him a watery smile. âWe needed the time away from each other, donât you think?âÂ
There was a moment where the two of you simply stared at each other. A hurricane of repressed emotions swirled in your chest, finally breaking the surface five years on. Jaehyun must have felt the same, reliving all those memories now. You could see it on his face.
Youth was so beautiful, and precious â even the heartbreak, and all the other foolish things that came along with it.Â
âI let you go once, and maybe that was meant to happen.â He took a step closer. âBut weâre not dumb teenagers anymore. Iâm not⊠I wonât make the same mistake twice.â
His eyes locked on yours as he gazed at you with reverence. âDonât you still feel the same? Even after all these years?â
I do, you wanted to say.Â
You would have too, if it werenât for the small speck of white that landed in Jaehyunâs dark hair. It was visible for only a few seconds before melting away. You looked up and sure enough, the night sky was dotted with white.
âFirst snow,â you breathed, watching as the snowflakes fell from the sky. âDo you know what that means?â
Jaehyun gave you a small shake of his head. Of course. He never believed in superstitions.
You reached for his hand, feeling his fingers respond to yours immediately. He was so warm, and his touch breathed life back into your frozen body.
âIf you see the first snow with someone you love, it means that your love will be true and long-lasting.â
A few seconds passed as he took in your words, trying to make sense of them.
âYou⊠love me?â
âI do,â you admitted. A teardrop finally spilled out from your waterline, leaving behind a wet track on your cheek that stung in the cold. âEven when I thought I hated you, deep down, I think I still loved you.â
One of his hands came up to wipe away the trail of moisture from the escaped tear. The action sent a shiver through your entire body.
âI never stopped loving you,â he confessed softly, stroking your cheek. You felt it then, that deep, aching feeling that had threaded itself into the very marrow of your bones.Â
Longing. You longed for his presence, his smile, his touch. You longed to hold his heart in your hands again, and give him yours in exchange. You had missed him more than you could bear, and here he was, telling you his heart was where it had always been, sitting in the centre of your palm.Â
Perfect moments didnât exist, but damn did this one come close.
âCome here,â Jaehyun whispered, pulling you into him.Â
His mouth was just as sweet as you remembered. His lips were a little rougher, slightly chapped from the cold. His kiss was slow and patient, taking his time to explore the shape of your mouth and mould to it again. You felt his smile, the slight tension in his bottom lip giving him away, and you couldnât help but reciprocate, a quiet giggle bubbling in your chest before escaping through your lips.Â
âI really fucking missed you,â you mumbled against his mouth, another giggle accompanying the words. âYou kissed me and then you were on a plane to the other side of the world.âÂ
âI told you Iâd see you when I was back, didnât I?â he reminded, giving your waist a small squeeze. âAnd for the record, you kissed me. Not that it matters.â
You swatted a hand against his chest. âI see you still care too much about technicalities.â
Jaehyun only laughed, that deep and familiar sound you had craved to hear for the last 3 months. He pulled your hands into his warm ones, and pressed his lips to your knuckles.Â
âYour hands are cold,â he murmured, wrapping his fingers around yours.Â
âWell, I was about to head back inside when you found me. Itâs nice and toasty in there.â
âDo you want to go in now?â
You looped your arms around his neck and buried your head into the crook of it. âLetâs just stay out here for a little bit longer,â you said, words muffled by the fabric of his coat. âYou always run hot in the colder months anyways. Enough to keep me warm.â
He hummed in agreement, holding you flush against him as the snow fell around you. In his arms, you were the most at ease you had been in years, and the thought was almost enough to bring a fresh new wave of moisture to your eyes.Â
âWhat is thatâsomethingâs digging in,â he suddenly said, pulling away from you. His eyes landed on the pendant that had slipped out from underneath the lapels of your coat. Wordlessly, he reached for it, running his thumb across the pale pearl that hung from your neck.Â
âYou kept this?âÂ
âOf course,â you answered. âYou kept yours.â
He smiled, a big one, dimples marking his cheeks. âOf course,â he repeated.Â
âWeâre lucky, arenât we? To have found each other again after all this time?â
Jaehyunâs reply took the form of another sweet and unhurried kiss. It warmed you from the inside out, all the way down to the tips of your toes.
âSo weâre really doing this, right?â he asked. âWeâre giving us a second chance?â
You raised an eyebrow. âAre you telling me you said all that earlier just for shits and giggles?â
âOf course not,â he chuckled, squeezing your sides again. âI just wanted to make sure. I think I might lose faith in the world if you tell me you donât want to be with me.â
âYou have nothing to worry about,â you reassured. The snow was sticking to his hair, and you took a second to run your hands through it, brushing off the half-melted pieces. His eyes fondly followed your every movement.
âGood, because I plan on keeping you for a long time.â
You returned inside shortly after. The snow had picked up and it was clear that you couldnât stay out for much longer (unless you wanted hypothermia, which neither of you did). The function hall was much emptier now than it had been when you stepped out, and of the remaining faces, none of them were familiar.Â
A quick glance at your phone showed a few unread messages from Joy.Â
joy [08:32 pm]: hey, had to leave, doyoungâs still working tomorrow so itâs an early night for me joy [08:33 pm]: hope you and jaehyun work things out joy [08:33 pm]: iâm rooting for you guys!!
joy [08:37 pm]: also can you see if jungwoo is okay joy [08:38 pm]: i donât think heâs come out yet
âCan I ask a favour, just before we go?â
Jaehyun smiled back at you sweetly, devotion written in his eyes. âAnything.â
âPop into the menâs room and check if Jungwooâs still alive?â
Life was a funny thing.Â
âThere are so few things in life that are guaranteed. Death, for one, and taxes, for another. Sorry if that was a bit dark and killed the mood. You can laugh, by the way. But I think everyone here would agree, neither of those two are all that conducive to happiness.â
Roundabout.Â
âSo when the girl youâve been chasing, for what feels like an eternity, finally gives you a second chance, you absolutely cannot take it for granted. You grab onto that chance with both hands, and even your teeth if you have to. Itâs no guarantee for happiness, but itâs your best bet.â
Unpredictable.Â
âIâm not a God-fearing man, but Iâm a God-believing man. I thank God everyday for bringing such a magnificent woman into my life.â
He raised his glass.Â
âJoy, you make me the happiest person in the world, and I canât wait to be married to you.â
The crowd broke into warm applause as Doyoung finished off his impromptu speech by planting a kiss on his bride-to-be.
âHeâs so good at talking,â you mused, wrapping your arm around Jaehyunâs. âIf thatâs his toast for this, I wonder what his vows will be like.â
A year ago, you would never have believed that youâd be attending your co-workerâs engagement party, much less with your ex-boyfriend who you hadnât seen in 5 years. Spring had well and truly arrived, and with it came promises of love and new beginnings. The last rays of the April afternoon sunlight filtered through the windows of the riverside art centre. The venue was gorgeous, floating on the edge of the river with unobstructed views of the skyline and where it met the water â as always, Joy knew how to pick a spot.
âI didnât know she rejected him before they got together. He must have really liked her.â
Jaehyun gave you a crooked smile. âFour years of university, and he never gave up. Even when she started dating that blockhead from liberal arts.â
âI bet he wouldâve felt like the luckiest guy in the world when she finally said yes to a date,â you said, watching as the happy couple shared a moment, giggling about something nobody else was privy to. Jaehyun followed your gaze and made a small noise of agreement.
âNot as lucky as I am to have found you again.â
He ran his thumb across your knuckles. You couldâve sworn there was stardust sprinkled into those pretty brown eyes of his.
Life was a funny thing, for sure. It had a funny way of bringing back things you once thought you had lost forever. You knew now that you had to seize them before they passed by. Who knew if theyâd ever turn up again?
âOkay, thatâs enough.â
Jungwoo set his glass down on the table with a loud thunk, lightly startling you.
âIâm right here. You guys know that, right? I am right in front of you.â
A sheepish smile was thrown his way. âSorry.â You patted his hand once, softly. âYour time will come, Iâm sure of it,â you reassured. âHow did the date with the KU Business girl go?â
âI flaked,â Jungwoo said simply.
âNo! Why?â
He sighed. âBlind dates are really not my thing. Itâs too awkward. And it feels so superficial. Like, what if you have nothing in common, or thereâs no physical attraction, orââÂ
Jungwoo paused, cutting himself off. âActually, Iâm not talking about this with you people. Iâm going to get another drink.â With that, he turned and headed straight for the cocktail bar. You and Jaehyun gazed at him from behind as he walked off.
âIâm gonna be babysitting him again tonight, arenât I?â Jaehyun asked, the question directed at nobody in particular.
âPeople are going to start wondering if youâre dating me or him.â
His mouth curled into a smirk. âShould I give them a reminder?â
âMy boss is standing right over there, so no.â
Junmyeon and Irene were still going steady, to your surprise. Youâd probably be seeing more and more of him, since Joy and the rest of the Parks genuinely treated Irene like one of their own. The thought wasnât exactly a pleasant one, but not awful either. Maybe you were warming up to him.
âAlso, you should probably be careful about who you call blockhead,â you said to Jaehyun, holding back a smile.
He fixed you with a suspicious stare. âAnd whatâs that supposed to mean?â
âYou know,â you trailed off, gesturing vaguely at his head. The smile broke through, your cheeks lifting as you tried to keep the laughter from coming out. He, on the other hand, was thoroughly unimpressed.
âYou should really watch your mouth,â he said lowly, though he was smiling. There was a look in his eyes that sent a jolt straight to the pit of your stomach.
âOr what?â
His hands were all over you before you even made it through the door.
âMy beautiful, gorgeous, sexy girlfriend,â he mumbled, peppering your neck with kisses between each adjective. The keypad finally beeped and you pushed down on the handle, letting the door swing open as you pulled him in by the collar.
âStop talking and just kiss me,â you sighed, dragging his face back up to yours. He was all too eager to comply, mouth slotting over yours with practised ease. His tongue brushed along yours in the way he knew you liked, pulling your bottom lip into his mouth with just the right amount of pressure. Fire licked at your insides as he drew a light moan from you.
Four months in, the second time around, and everything with Jaehyun was still electrifying. Â
Your hands fumbled with the buttons on his shirt, finally succeeding with undoing the top one after a few tries. Hands came up around the back of your thighs, lifting you up onto his kitchen countertop. The marble was cool to the touch, and you felt it through the silk of your dress, a soft gasp of surprise flying from your mouth into his awaiting one.
âBeen wanting to do this all day, ever since you put this thing on,â Jaehyun rasped. The heat of his body radiated into you from where he stood between your parted legs. He was so warm up against you, and he smelled so good, you were positively light-headed with desire.
His mouth ghosted over the shell of your ear, sending a shiver through you. âYou look so fucking good,â he said, teeth gently grazing the skin of your neck. âMy pretty girl.â The quick press of his hips into yours pulled another moan out of you, and you braced a hand against the marble countertop.
Your fingers knocked against the edge of something sharp and sent it tumbling to the floor, where it landed with a heavier thud than you were expecting.
âWhat was that?â you forced out in between gasps. Jaehyunâs teeth nipped at your collarbone, showing no signs of letting up. âWait, Jae, something fell on the floor.â
You had smashed a mug in your apartment in the midst of it once. Better safe than sorry.
Reluctantly, Jaehyun detached himself from you and bent down to retrieve the fallen item. He was breathing hard as he picked up a thick, padded envelope, and flipped it over to read the details.
âPhotos,â he finally managed, tossing the package back onto the counter. âWe can look at them later.â
His mouth was on you again, working at the spot between your neck and shoulder that always had your knees weak and toes curling.Â
âWait,â you giggled, âmy film photos? I want to see.â He had sent the camera off almost two weeks ago, and you had been (im)patiently waiting for the developed pictures to be sent back.Â
Jaehyun looked up at you with hooded eyes. âReally? You want to look at them now?â
You nodded.Â
A beat passed before his face broke into a lazy smile.Â
âOkay,â he chuckled softly, reaching for the envelope again.Â
There was a good stack in there. The ones on top were more recent, with a few shots from his birthday that had recently passed. You had taken him ice skating at the outdoor rink atop Namsan Mountain. The twinkling lights that hung from the trees surrounding the rink were still beautiful, even through photos. Jaehyun was good at so many things that it was unfair â how could he be so talented and have a face like that? â but on that day, you discovered that ice skating was not one of his strengths, and the bruises on his tailbone could attest to that.Â
âThe colouring on these is really nice,â you murmured, flicking through the photos.
He hummed. âThey are. This place doesnât over-saturate the images, which is why I like them.â
A few more pictures from Christmas, where the two of you had set up a pillow fort â it had always been a childhood dream of yours â and stayed in watching movies for three whole days because it was too cold to do anything that required leaving the house. Funnily enough though, you had spent New Yearâs Eve out in the cold with a few thousand others, waiting for the annual fireworks. There were a few shots of those as well.Â
You neared the bottom of the stack, recognising the blur of colours that formed the crowd of the jazz festival from last year.
âAll of these are out of focus,â you complained, a pout adorning your lips. The shots of the stage, of the artists, even the one of Jaehyun and the cute face he made trying to fit the burger in his mouth. Only the two pictures of you were crisply defined, because he had taken them.Â
You flipped to the last photo. It was the one you took at the end of the show, during the closing bars of Lauvâs set. Miraculously, this one was in focus. You could see the press of your cheek against Jaehyunâs, and the slight surprise in his eyes as you had clicked the shutter. Lauv was nowhere to be seen, but maybe a clear shot of him as well would have been asking for too much.Â
âCan I say something cheesy?â Jaehyun asked softly.Â
âYouâll say it anyway.â
âI really wanted to kiss you. On this day.â
Strange, that it was these words which brought heat to your cheeks. Surely there were other things that would be more appropriate to blush about, instead of a months-late admission that was degrees more innocent than your current situation, where Jaehyunâs shirt was half undone, and the fabric of your dress was bunched up around your hips.Â
âI wanted to kiss you right there, in the crowd. And then I wanted to kiss you again, here, when you made that stupid ramen joke. And when you had that chilli flake stuck on the corner of your mouth.â
You set the last photo down on the counter and turned back to Jaehyun, who was still standing between your knees.Â
âAnd how about now?â you asked, the corners of your mouth lifting in a teasing smile.Â
He cradled your chin, tilting your face towards his, and let the pad of his thumb brush over the swell of your bottom lip.Â
âI think you already know the answer to that.â
The crescent moon was high and luminescent in the sky when you caught your breath again, the last few waves of euphoria ebbing away through your body. Jaehyun always indulged you.
Maybe a little too much.Â
You turned to him, nestling your face into the crook of his neck and breathing in the scent of soap and his skin. A finger lazily traced over the ridges of his stomach.Â
âThat tickles,â he mumbled into your hair. It mustâve still been damp from the shower, but he didnât seem to mind. Fatigue was already tugging away at him.Â
âDo you want me to stop?â you asked softly, looking up at him.Â
He shook his head, just slightly. âI like knowing youâre there.â
You resumed your movements, but it was only a few seconds before Jaehyun was shifting, soft laughs filling the intimate space of his bedroom. Â
âThat really does tickle,â he said, smile threaded into his voice. One of his hands reached for yours, pulling it up to rest against his chest. The gentle press of his lips on your forehead was a delicate thing.Â
You fell asleep like that, feeling the steady beat of his heart, quiet and sure beneath your fingertips. It was warm in his hold, and safe. There was no other home you needed to know.
#jaehyun#nct jaehyun#jaehyun x reader#jaehyun angst#jaehyun fluff#jaehyun smut#jaehyun fic#nct 127#nct 127 x reader#jeong jaehyun#nct jaehyun x reader#nct x reader#nct 127 fanfic#kaleidohscopic works
355 notes
·
View notes
Text
Mission Complete
logan howlett x fem!reader - in which you and the wolverine shack up in a shitty hotel after a mission. nsfw, afab terms, there's only one bed, 18+reader (always), âkidâ, pining!logan, pining!reader (3911 words)
a/n: just one night with this man... just one fucking night. also yes, first wolvie post but defo not the last.
ïœĄïœ„:*:ïŸâ
,ïœĄïœ„:*:ïŸâ ïœĄïœ„:*:ïŸâ
,ïœĄïœ„:*:ïŸâ
Logan pauses in the doorway, his gaze lingering on the double bed crammed into the corner of your shared hotel room. He steps inside, trying to appear nonchalant, but his eyes dart around, searching for an alternativeâa sofa, a chair, hell, even a futon. Nothing. He sighs heavily, dropping his bag with a thud, his mind racing through the options. Sharing a bed with you? Thatâs out of the damn question. He could sleep on the floor, or better yet, maybe thereâs another room available. Spending the night with you would be some sick kind of torture; he canât restrain himself that long.
If you notice his hesitation, you donât show it. You slip past him with a casual brush of the shoulder, making a beeline for the bathroom. âDibs on the shower!â you call out, rummaging through your backpack for what he figures must be a change of clothes. Logan grunts in response.
âThis mission wasnât even that bad,â you continue, your voice muffled as you dig deeper into your bag. âWeâre leaving early tomorrow, so you should probably shower tonight too. Donât need you slowing us down in the morning, old man.â
Logan doesnât dignify your jab with a response. Instead, he turns on his heel and heads back out, letting the door click shut behind him. Heâs got a better chance of dealing with the front desk than with sharing that bed. He fishes out a cigar, biting down on it as he stalks down the stairs, striking a match as he goes. The no-smoking signs? They might as well be invisible to him. If they didnât notice him before, theyâd sure as hell notice the smoke.
When he reaches the lobby, itâs empty. Logan rings the bellâonce, twice.
âHello?â
Silence. He rings the bell again, harder this time.
âHello? Anybody here? I was justâoh, for fuckâs sake.â
His eyes land on a neat little sign perched on the desk: âFront desk will be available again from 7:30 a.m. tomorrow.â
Youâve got to be fucking kidding me, he thinks, exhaling a thick cloud of smoke in frustration. What if thereâs an emergency? What are people supposed to do, wait until morning?
Logan growls under his breath, stubbing out the cigar on the polished wood of the counter, leaving a smoldering mark as a parting gift. He storms back up the stairs, mentally preparing himself for a night on the hard floor. It could be worse, he muses, but only just.
Logan swings open the door to a piercing shriek, slamming it shut almost as quickly as heâd opened it, his hand still gripping the doorknob with a trembling force. Okay, it could definitely be worse, he thinks, his mind spinning.
Inside, you scramble to cover yourself, your heart racing as you realize what just happened. âSeriously? Do you not knock?â you shout, your voice laced with a mix of panic and humiliation. Your face burns as you try to process the situation, the mortification almost too much to bear. âOh my God, oh my God, oh my God,â you mutter under your breath, hurriedly yanking on the oversized t-shirt you had planned to sleep in, your hands fumbling in haste.
âWhy didnât you change in the bathroom?â Logan shoots back, voice gruff, trying to mask his own flustered state. He grinds out his cigar underfoot, his mind replaying the moment he just witnessed, over and over. His ears burn hot, and no matter how hard he tries, he canât shake the image of youâshirt halfway over your head, bare and vulnerable, your skin still glistening from the shower. Fuck. He looks down, his jeans now uncomfortably tight, the ache in his groin a harsh reminder of why sharing a bed with you is a terrible idea. He can barely keep himself together when youâre fully dressed, let alone in a state like that.
You take a moment to steady your breathing, trying to push the embarrassment down. âYou can⊠you can come in now,â you stammer, your back turned to the door as you pretend to be engrossed in your phone, anything to avoid facing him.
Logan doesnât reply. He pushes the door open and slips inside, his movements quick and stiff as he heads straight for the bathroom, needing to put some distance between you both. The door closes behind him, and you let out a groan, burying your face in your hands. This moment was going to haunt you for a very long time.
So, you had a little crush on Logan. No big dealâjust a harmless, schoolgirl crush. At least, thatâs what you told yourself. But you couldnât deny that you and Logan made a damn good team. So good, in fact, that the Professor had been pairing you two up for missions more often than not lately. And that silly, schoolgirl crush? It had started to grow into something much harder to ignore.
Your stomach churns as you roll over onto the bed, face buried in the pillows. Itâs hard to admit, but part of you got a little turned on by what just happened. The searing embarrassment of having your body on display like that for the man whoâd starred in so many of your late-night fantasies⊠It was almost too much to handle. You sigh deeply, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks again.
But then reality sets in. Logan didnât feel the same wayâhow could he? The way he bolted for the bathroom was proof enough. Why would someone like him ever be interested in you? Youâve heard the stories about Loganâs past flames, women who were nothing short of extraordinary. And here you are, just another teammate, a brief moment of awkwardness quickly forgotten.
You try to push the thoughts away, deciding itâs best to just turn in for the night. Thereâll be plenty of time to torture yourself with these thoughts later. For now, sleep is the only escape from the swirling mess in your head.
It was trueâLogan couldnât get away fast enough, but not for the reasons you thought. As he stood under the scorching spray of the shower, letting the steaming water cascade over his body, his eyes remained fixed on the tiles beneath his feet. His regenerative abilities could heal wounds and stitch him back together, but they never quite banished the constant ache that clung to his bones, a dull throb that even the hot water could only barely soothe. But the ache in his abdomen? That was something else entirely.
Logan couldnât shake the image burned into his mind, the sight of you, bare and beautiful, just moments ago. He gritted his teeth, his thoughts straying where they shouldnât. How would those perfect tits look under the water with him, droplets sliding down your skin while he took you against the shower wall? Would you mewl softly, or would you gasp, nails digging into his back? Would you cling to him, or would your legs give out, collapsing into his arms?
He let out a rough grunt, twisting the shower knob to ice-cold in an attempt to snap himself out of it. The icy blast hit him hard, but he welcomed it, hoping it might douse the fire in his veins. He could touch himselfâhell, the thought crossed his mind more than onceâbut not with you just outside, not when you were so close. It felt wrong, too damn wrong.
The cold water eventually worked its magic, easing the unbearable tension that had built up inside him, but it took nearly an hour to do so. Finally, with a heavy sigh, Logan stepped out of the shower, drying off and pulling on a pair of sweatpants. As he looked at his reflection in the fogged-up mirror, he knew one thing for certain: this was going to be a long, restless night.
Logan steps out of the bathroom to find you huddled on the floor, passed out in a tangled mess of blankets. He rolls his eyes, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he carefully scoops you up and lays you down on the bed.
âI donât need thâ bed,â you mumble, your voice so soft he almost misses it. He huffs through his nose, a fond smile creeping onto his face. âWhere else you gonna sleep?â he murmurs, his voice a low rumble in the quiet room. You blink sleepily, trying to focus as the darkness settles around you, the only sound the gentle rustling of sheets as he adjusts you on the bed.
âSorry about earlier,â he adds, his tone uncharacteristically gentle.
You donât reply, too embarrassed to form words. Instead, you turn your face away, hoping he wonât notice the flush of heat creeping up your cheeks. But in the stillness of the night, it feels like every little movement, every breath, is amplified.
âI donât want you to sleep on the floor,â you finally confess, your voice barely above a whisper. âThereâs space for both of us.â The words hang in the air, and youâre suddenly hyperaware of how close Logan is to you. You can almost feel the warmth of his breath against your face, the proximity making your heart race. But then, just as suddenly, he shifts away, the moment passing like a whisper in the dark.
Itâs silent for some time, like heâs thinking. You almost speak up again but he beats you to it, just as you part your lips.
âScoot up, kid,â he says, his voice gruff but not unkind.
You do as he says, moving over to make room, your pulse still thrumming in your ears. Logan settles in beside you, and the bed dips slightly under his weight. The space between you feels impossibly small, yet you canât bring yourself to pull away.
Despite his shower, the faint smell of cigars still lingers in the air. Itâs oddly comforting, grounding you in the surreal reality of the moment. You take a deep breath, trying to steady the wild thoughts racing through your mind. âGood night Logan,â you murmur, hoping that sleep will come quickly and spare you from the ache of wanting what you canât haveâcraving the feel of his strong arms around you, the way his hands might tighten against your throat, and the sound of his voice purring dark promises in your ear.
âGânight,â he replies, his voice a low rumble as he turns away, leaving you back to back.
Logan is in Hell.
He can feel your warmth through the thin gap between you, every soft breath you take a reminder of just how close you are. His mouth had agreed before his mind could stop him, and now heâs paying the price. Lying next to you, with your soft body and those innocent eyes that see right through him, is torture. He wonders if thereâs still time to slink back into that pile of blankets on the floor.
His muscles tense as he tries to push down the desire clawing at him, the instinct to reach out and pull you close nearly overwhelming. The scent of your skin, the way you whispered his nameâeverything about you is a test of his control. Logan knows heâs walking a fine line, and the longer he stays here, the harder it gets to keep himself in check.
His fists clench under the covers, every muscle in his body taut with tension. Logan can hear your soft, rhythmic breathing, the quiet rustle of sheets as you shift slightly beside him. The scent of your skin lingering in the air is really whatâs holding him hostage. He tries to focus on anything else, but all he can think about is how close you areâhow easy it would be to reach out and just touch you.
You lie there, eyes wide open, staring into the darkness. The silence of the room is thick, almost suffocating, but you know youâre not the only one awake. You can feel it- an awareness that runs deeper than simple intuition. All those missions together, all those nights spent side by sideâyouâve learned to read him in ways that go beyond words.
Without needing to glance back, you know Logan Howlett is still awake. Itâs as if his presence hums in the air between you, a silent energy thatâs becoming increasingly impossible to ignore. Thereâs a tension there, a subtle shift in the way he breathes, the way he holds himself so still, as if heâs trying not to disturb the fragile peace of the night. But you can sense it: somethingâs bothering him.
You wonder if itâs the same turmoil thatâs been gnawing at you, the same restless desire that has kept you on edge ever since you laid down beside him. The thought of Logan feeling the same way sends a shiver through you. Itâs a strange kind of comfort, knowing that you might not be alone in this.
But then again, the Wolverine is a man of secrets, you know him well, better than most, but not as well as youâd like. Not in the ways that matter most right now. And yet, lying there in the dark, with only your thoughts and the steady rhythm of his breathing to keep you company, you canât help but wonder if the walls heâs built around himself are cracking, just as yours are.
You canât take it anymore. Tentatively, you let your hand drift to the space between you, your fingers brushing against his side. Logan stiffens at the contact, a sharp intake of breath the only sound in the darkness. Emboldened by his reaction, you let your hand slide further, tracing the hard lines of his abdomen. Youâre on fire, body moving on its own accord. This wasnât you, it couldnât be.
âDarlinâ, you donât know what youâre startinâ,â Logan growls, his voice thick with warning and something else that you couldnât quite identify yet.
But you do know. You know exactly what you want, and youâre tired of pretending otherwise. You turn onto your side, pressing your body against his back, your breath hot against his neck.
âI donât know. Maybe I do,â you whisper, your voice trembling slightly with anticipation.
Logan turns to you with a gentleness that catches you off guard, his hand sliding to your waist with a tenderness that feels almost reverent. He pulls you close, but itâs not with the raw urgency you expected. Instead, itâs slow, deliberate, as though heâs holding himself back by a thread. His eyes lock onto yours, dark and intense, searching for something, perhaps a final permission.
Itâs you that closes the gap. The pressure of his lips against yours is gentle, but the undercurrent of need is undeniable, simmering just beneath the surface. You can feel the restraint in every brush of his lips, every measured caress, and it only makes you clench tighter.
Loganâs hands begin to roam, exploring your body with a hunger that has clearly been held back for far too long. He takes his time, fingers tracing every curve, every dip, as if memorizing the feel of you beneath his touch. His lips leave yours to trail down your neck, his breath hot against your skin as he murmurs, âThis is all I could think about out there, in the woods⊠how youâd feel, how youâd taste.â
His words send a rush of heat through you, a deep flush spreading across your skin. His hands slide up your thighs, teasing the edge of your shirt before slipping underneath, the warmth of his touch igniting every nerve. His fingers trace lazy circles on your skin, his lips moving down your collarbone, and you realize with a start that youâre trembling beneath him.
You find yourself arching into his touch, a soft whimper escaping your lips. Loganâs mouth curls into a smile against your skin, sensing your desperation. ââs that what you want, darlinâ?â he murmurs, his voice a low growl that vibrates against your skin, making you shiver. âYou want me to take you apart, piece by piece?â
You nod, breathless, your hands clutching at his shoulders, nails digging into his skin as you silently plead for him to stop teasing. âPlease, Logan,â you whisper, your voice trembling with need. âPleaseâŠâ
He chuckles softly against your skin, a dark, throaty sound that sends another wave of heat through you. Logan pulls back, his gaze heavy with desire as he sits up. You watch, breathless, as he reaches for the hem of his vest, pulling it over his head in one swift motion. The sight of his bare chest visible only by the flecks of moonlight, muscles rippling beneath his skin, takes your breath away (though this wouldnât be the first time). You reach out, your fingers brushing against his chest, feeling the heat of his skin beneath your touch.
Logan watches you with dark, hungry eyes as he reaches for the waistband of his pants, removing them with deliberate slowness. He seems to take pleasure in the way your breath catches, in the way your gaze follows every movement as he slides them down, revealing the full, impressive length of his dick. Logan is big. Itâs not just long, but itâs fucking big. Veiny, girthy and leaking precum at the tip, you canât help but instinctively bite your lip.
The sight of him, hard and ready, makes your pussy ache for him in a way thatâs almost painful. âLogan⊠please,â you whisper again, your voice barely more than a breath as you look up at him through your lashes.
His gaze darkens, a satisfied smile curling at the corners of his mouth as he finally gives in, his hands moving with purpose as he strips you of your t-shirt. The moment your body is fully exposed to him, Logan pauses, his eyes raking over you with a possessive hunger that makes your heart skip a beat. He takes you in, every inch of you, committing the contours of your body to memory.
When he finally positions himself between your legs, youâre trembling with anticipation, your body aching for him. But Logan doesnât rush. He takes his time, guiding himself to your entrance, the head of his cock brushing against your wetness before he pulls your panties to the side. He watches your face, his gaze dark and intense, as he teases you, pushing just the tip inside before pulling back. Bastard.
âAre you sure?â he asks, his voice rough but laced with tenderness, his lips brushing against your ear. âBecause once I start, I can assure you; thereâs no going back.â
You nod, wrapping your legs around his waist, pulling him closer, needing to feel him inside you. âI need you inside me.â you whisper, your voice heavy with desire.
Logan growls low in his throat, and finally, mercifully, he pushes inside you, filling you with a slow, deliberate thrust that makes you gasp. The sensation is overwhelming, the stretch and fullness making your head spin as he sinks deeper, inch by inch, until heâs buried to the hilt. He pauses, letting you adjust, his lips brushing yours in a soft, almost reverent kiss.
Then he begins to move, each thrust deep and powerful, driving you both closer to the edge with every stroke. His hands grip your hips, holding you in place as he moves inside you, his gaze locked on yours as if heâs taking in every expression, every moan, every gasp.
âLook at me,â he murmurs, his voice rough and low, sending a shiver down your spine. You do, your eyes meeting his in a drunken haze. You moan, your body trembling beneath him, the sensation of him inside you overwhelming. Every thrust, every movement, is perfectly timed, his body attuned to yours in a way that almost didnât feel real.
âLogan,â you breathe, your voice trembling with need. âItâs so⊠much.â
He leans in, his forehead resting against yours, his breath hot against your lips. âI know, sweetheart,â he whispers, his voice full of rough affection. âBut you can take it,â He spits.
The praise, the way heâs looking at you, it all builds the tension inside you to a fever pitch. His gaze never wavers, holding yours as he moves deeper, harder. You canât help the soft whimpers that escape your lips, your body tightening around him with each powerful stroke. Loganâs grip on your hips tightens, and he groans, his eyes darkening further as he watches you come undone beneath him.
âDonât hold back,â he growls, his voice full of animalistic need. âLet me see you, I want it all.â
âLogan⊠Iââ The words catch in your throat as the pleasure builds to an unbearable peak, your body arching beneath him.
He growls your name, a primal sound full of need, as he moves faster, harder, both you and Logan knew you were close.
âCome for me,â he whispers, his voice ragged, his gaze locked on yours.
And you do. With a cry, you shatter around him, the pleasure crashing over you like a wave, your body convulsing with the force of it. Logan follows you over the edge, his own release tearing through him as he groans your name.
When itâs over, Logan collapses beside you, pulling you into his arms. The room is quiet now, the air thick with the scent of sweat and satisfaction. You nestle against his chest, his heartbeat steady beneath your ear. The tension that had built up between you over the past few days finally snapped, and here you both are, tangled in the aftermath.
You shift beside him, your hand resting on his chest, feeling the steady thud of his heartbeat. He turns his head to look at you, his expression unreadable, but thereâs something in his eyesâa hint of unease, maybe even regret. âYou sure this was okay?â His voice is rough, laced with concern, and that old nickname hangs in the air like a habit he canât break. âKid.â
You meet his gaze, holding it, making sure he sees you clearly. âLogan,â you say, your voice steady, âIâm not a kid anymore. You need to stop treating me like one.â
He exhales, a long, controlled breath, as if heâs trying to push down everything heâs feeling. âI just donât want to hurt you,â he admits, the words heavy.
A small, wry smile tugs at your lips as you prop yourself up on your elbow, looking down at him. âYouâre not taking advantage of me, if thatâs what youâre worried about.â Your tone is straightforward, cutting through his doubts. âI wanted this as much as you did. I think, maybe even moreâŠâ You trail off.
He looks away, eyes flicking back to the ceiling, his hand finding its way to your back, fingers brushing your skin in a gesture that feels almost hesitant. âIâve done things... seen things. Sometimes Iâm not sure whatâs right anymore.â
You lean down, pressing a kiss to his lips, lingering just long enough to make sure he feels it, really feels it. When you pull back, you hold his gaze, your voice low but firm. âI know what Iâm getting into.â
Heâs quiet, his hand tightening on your back just a little, like heâs afraid youâll disappear if he doesnât hold on. He doesnât say anything else, just pulls you closer, holding you like youâre the one solid thing in a world thatâs always shifting beneath his feet.
#wolverine x reader#logan howlett x reader#wolverine#deadpool 3#xmen#x reader#wolverine smut#logan howlett smut
468 notes
·
View notes