#oh my god rosie updated

[whirlpool-blogs]

whirlpool's personal fic recs, part 2

well, it's been a minute since the first time I did this, so here's some more great fics I've read since then.

(this is a totally fresh list! if by chance you see a repeat from part 1, it's only because there's been an update to it since then)

-> Please let me know if any of my links are messed up, or if I got a tumblr handle wrong!

rarepairs/3somes/from perspective of other characters:

Biggest Dick on Base by @impalachick (Crosby/Bucky) you guys. this one is soooo hot. oh the dialogue is sooooo good. as the author says, "It's canon that Croz and Egan are the two horniest guys in the 100th" and this fic NAILS it!

dancing cheek to cheek (to cheek) by @meyerlansky (Curt/Bucky/Buck) Curt POV and it's soooo good, equal weight is given to the Curtbucky of it all, and there's this summering electricity in the Curtgale, and the Buckbucky devotion is so real, it's a true threesome fic and author absolutely nailed it!! also start taking your chances in the same series, WHEW!

I Get A Feeling That I Never Had Before by @darkimpala1897 (Clegan+Hambone) 978 words, so it's short but sweet! Funny and original and creative, and like, of COURSE this is how Buck discovers his feelings for Bucky & Ham.

Learning Curve by @hogans-heroes Clegan through the perspective of Alex Jefferson, explores his friendships with Buck and Bucky, and his observations of them from an outside view! Really heartbreaking and sweet and touching, such a great writing style.

Pegasus by merle_p (Rosie/Bucky) Egan is an absolute horny menace and a terrible authority figure sometimes lmao, and this fic gets it! Loved the characterization in this one. And the ending is just <3

Render Me a Wreck by @almost-a-class-act (Brady/Bucky) you guysssss you GUYSSSSSSS you KNOW I love me a Brady fic and holy shit this one is IT! this one is IT!!!! absolute masterpiece that comes roaring out of the gate and never lets up. a must-read!

save yours, and take mine from me by @corrosivesaints (Brady/Bucky) another Brady fic and I loveeeeee it!!! this author absolutely nails Brady's prickly little personality and the mutual trust and attraction between him and Bucky. and not just trust to not turn each other in, trust as in knowing they need to keep each other ALIVE. which is basically love. as the author said, "guys who are not normal about each other and never will be" <3

Squared Away by @meyerlansky (Curt/Bucky) wheeee you know i love me some John whump, and luckily Curt is there to give him what he needs <3 such a vivid writing style, love it!

the vein in my neck adores you by @galetops (Harding/Bucky) hardingbucky hARDINGBUCKY AAAAAAAAAAA!!!! bro!!!!!! oh it's so delicious, power abuse is one of my fave tropes and John gets fuckeddddddd OVER in this one. gripping. devastating tbh.

Would You Mind? by @johnslittlespoon @nicijones (Ken/Bucky and then Ken/Bucky/Gale) HOT! hot! HOT!!!!!! oh god I was literally melting....... KenBucky is so big brained and the way the authors characterize them is just. so good. did I mention it's HOT??!!?!?!

Clegan+Marge:

A Big Surprise by @sweaterkittensahoy (PerpetualMotion) (Clegan+Marge) MARGE GETS THE STRAP OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! biggest yeah buddy ever!!!!!!!

A Horse is Not a Home by @fascinationstrt (Clegan+Marge) Lovely and sweet, explores their post-war trauma and all of them coming together to support each other and also like. literally coming together. hee hee!!

Barefoot and Bareback by @soliloquy-dawn aaaaabrhrfhgh it's so HOT and physical and playful and fun!!! love the little notes of dom/sub floating in and out, truly just feels like you're watching something sweet and sexy between 3 people who love each other!

clegan fics:

3am eternal by @feyd-meowtha 90s club scene AU, oooff it gets messy, deals with the consequences of John's substance abuse and Gale's avoidance and overall both of their lack of communication, and god!! it's so good

a thousand feet per second by anonymous Sub Gale, Dom Bucky and it's delicioussssss, Gale is not doing well <3

another version of me, I was in it by @majorbuckyegan (brianmaybrianmay) post-war, hurt/comfort sex after Bucky has a nightmare reliving running through the forest. love when Gale gently leads Bucky to where he needs to go!!

baby doll eyes by @ladybundle John gets smashed on stalag hooch and ohhh it's hot and sad and beautiful and full of yearning!!!

Baby I’m on Fire & Keep Me Forever by @oopsiedaisiesbaby Teacher Gale and Student John (not underage fic) and yeesh!!! both of them are a menace tbh and I lovedddd both of these!!!

Before the Dawn by @atlanticslide THE stalag fic, like when I envision them in the stalag, it always turns out that I am just remembering something from this fic!!! especially the parts where they are in separate compounds and talking through the fence!?!?! like ouch. like wow. a slowwww burn and it's so worth it!

Branded by @hogans-heroes Gale stalag whump and protective Buckyyyyyyyyyy <3 oh my heart!!!! so good!!!

crossroads by @shipstorms (ipsilateral) has a BoB tag but you don't need any BoB knowledge for this fic!! Bucky and his unrequited love for Gale and it's ouch....it's oh.... I definitely recommend for the beautiful writing!

diamond eyes by @vveissesfleisch (cunninglinguist) whewwwwww dom gale and sub john and it's awesome!! jealousy and desperation and then getting their shit together in the end <3

Extinct Animals by @feyd-meowtha Mad Max AU, but as someone who has 0% familiarity of Max Max franchise, I can assure you no background knowledge is needed. this fic is BRUTAL. this fic is CRAZY!! it's heartbreaking and feral and raw and everyone is clawing for survival and it's soooooo well-written!

futile devices by @drylite ohhhhhh this one will forever be famous in my mind, John gets sick in the stalag and Gale takes care of him but it's so much more than that, this fic is HUGE to me, the feelings and John's descent into his stalag spiral, it's all so beautifully written!!

He Calls Me Bunny by @johnslittlespoon modern AU, John wears a bunny costume to their college Halloween party and Gale fucks him about it <33333333333 HEART EYES FOR THIS FIC!

hit me where the heart is by @london-cowboy / @luckydeuce Ohhhhh my god this fic. THIS FIC!!! modern BDSM AU, John is a medevac helicopter pilot who once transported Gale from a horrible private plane crash, and then they encounter again years later -- but like. ALSO THERE'S SO MANY OTHER THINGS GOING ON AND IT'S ALL MIND-BLOWING!!! past fucked-up Harding/John and current Harding/Gale and that's just the tip of the iceberg. so good. sooooooo good.

i followed fires by @swifty-fox Wild West/spooky supernatural AU. suing for emotional damages!!!!!! genuinely cried from this fic. and not just sniffle sniffle dab at my eyes. I'm talking tears streaming down my face, can't see anymore, this fic is HOLY SHIT WOW.

I think the love I bear you should make you not to die by @amiserableseriesofevents (WonderGinia) soooooo heartwrenching, multiple timelines and so many times they get so close but then lose each other

if it feels like love (then it must be love) by @rangerelizabeth College AU and it's a goddamn masterpiece!! John is Gale's RA and Gale navigates dorm life and college life and a new relationship and it's just. such a great journey from start to end!

jump the gun by @swifty-fox Part 2 of Outlaw AU (highly recommend Part 1 as well, obviously!) and whoa. hits you right in the gut. love love loveeee how swifty weaves the parallels between show canon and this au, while also keeping it super fresh and creative and you never know what's gonna happen next! there's one particular line that absolutely BROKE me......such a good read

kinktober 2024 by anonymous Goddddd. GODDDDDDDDD. Every time I got an update email for this fic, it was like get hand-delivered a delicious slice of chocolate cake that also happened to encompass like every single dirty kink and fantasy I've ever wanted to read???? author is big-brained. author is living in the 4th dimension. READ THESE!!

kiss my cheek, and pretend we're lovers by @euph0riacc Modern Au - Iraq War, and it's soooo creative and the desert setting is so well-described and the whole ensemble is weaved into this new imagining so well!! truly so creative and so well-executed, highly recommend a read!

knuckleball by @drylite PIT STUFF!!!!!!! PIT STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PIT STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! let me tell you i was screaming pretty much through my entire reading experience of this. did i mention. pIT STUFF??????????????

let us not desert one another; we are an injured body by @irregularcollapse cannibalism fic oh my godddd oh it's sickeninggggg (positive) it's crazy (positive) it's insane (positive)!!

Looking for Eight by @weimarweekly (VoluptuousPanic) modeln rodeo AU. absolutely blows my mind, every single chapter is so perfectly written, it's vivid and it's sweet and it's truly alive!! definitely take your time to savor each paragraph...so worth it.

love means nothing (in tennis) by @irregularcollapse this was in my part 1, but it's had an updateeeeee since then, so go read it!!! gale's orthorexia and overexercising goes brrrrrr

Moecher by @inpotatoeswetrust (Razor_to_the_rosary) fantastic, very show-like dialogue, love the Curt & Bucky friendship keeping it reallll, deals with John's slippery descent into his alcohol abuse and how hard it is to pull oneself out of that path!! but also like. john jerking off to a stolen letter from Gale. dry humping. HOT!!!

never falter or fail by anonymous Post-war John is in the hospital with temporary amnesia after a flight crash, he's getting visitors from his war days, but perhaps not everyone is who they claim to be....really creative, beautiful storytelling!! i'm hooked!!!

No Proof, One Touch by @c-goldthorn sweat kink!!! pit stuff!!! oh you knowwwww I'm here for it! it's flight school and it's so sweeeeeet too i love them so much your honor

Only You Can Cool my Desire by @johnslittlespoon a one-shot in the Tough and Sweet AU (which you should totally check out!!), Gale's POV this time and oohhh overstimulated, begging, overheated John <3

Rack 'Em Up and Knock 'Em Down by @happy-days19 a whump collection, each chapter is a one-shot and super creative and varied!! love it!!

release, please (no longer on ao3) by anonymous Oh goddd I wish I knew who wrote this, if you're out there plssssss shoot me a message, I love this fic so much!!!! Gale lets John piss himself and then he lets him come and christttt. I legit have this saved on my google drive because it's just like. everything to me.

Sous Le Ciel de Paris by @rambleonwaywardson Modern Olympics AU, Gale is an equestrian and John is a gymnast, super creative and well-researched (as ALWAYS by this author!!) and also HORSIES and also JOHN INJURY! hee hee <3

Stripper, Occasionally Hooker by @donotnomi Modern AU, lawyer Gale and dancer John, this AU is everythinggggg to me!!!! corporate intrigue!! paulina and harding at the law office and ensemble at the club! I can't even put into words how sexy and hot and mindblowing stripper john is, somewhere in the realm of surface of the sun perhaps???? I LOVE THIS FIC OH MY GODDDD. I EAT IT UP. I RE-READ IT CONSTANTLY. go read it, I beg of youuuu

Wind in the Wire by @livelaughlove-write extreme gale whump in the stalag, such a great concept and love seeing the author explore it here!

windfall by @rangerelizabeth modern meet-cute, John meets Gale in a corn maze and pretends to be lost so that they can spend more time together <3 so cute!!

Wrapped Around Your Finger (You Say That I'm A Home Run) by @johnslittlespoon Gale cleans up John's face after he picks a fight, and he's a little mean about it and then they fuck about it and it's great!!!

You Don’t Ever Have to be Stronger Than You Really Are by @oopsiedaisiesbaby ABO fic yeah baby!!! except they're stuck in the stalag and they're both miserable and hungry and itching to get out and oh it hits so good!

You, Me, and the Sky by @oopsiedaisiesbaby Major Character Death, so mind the tags, heartbreaking and gripping and terrifying and beautiful and sad!

"You were doing all this to a toothpick?" by anonymous Gale's oral fixation.....yeah you know where this is going >:-)

Your Idiot by @eternallytired17 John gets hit on a mission and doesn't register it until he's literally collapsing wheeeee!!! so good!!!

[diorsluv]

casual , part 12

“ knee deep in the passenger seat and you’re eating me out ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

edwards.73

liked by yourusername, trevorzegras, and 204,167 others

edwards.73 appreciation post

tagged: yourusername

view all comments

yourusername 🥰

→ edwards.73 ❤️

rutgermcgroarty you actually did it

→ edwards.73 yea why would i not

→ rutgermcgroarty so is this like… a hard launch… ???

→ edwards.73 yeah i guess so

username18 OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODDD

username26 YEAHHH LES GO HE DID IT

mackie.samo was this purely to spite rutger

→ edwards.73 maybe, maybe not

→ rutgermcgroarty why r we using the govt name

markestapa AYYYY

→ edwards.73 yes mark i hard launched

→ markestapa i can see that

username57 this was. shocking!!!!

username12 LOOK AT HER SHES SO CUTE HERE

adamfantilli when did this occur

→ edwards.73 right now

→ adamfantilli did she even know you two had a label

→ edwards.73 she labeled us first i just never corrected her 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

→ mackie.samo yikes

→ luca.fantilli uhhh

→ rutgermcgroarty 😬😬😬

→ dylanduke25 thats not really…

→ edwards.73 what

→ edwards.73 is that not a good thing???

colecaufield this got less cute as i read more and more comments

→ edwards.73 i’m confused

vivianliu doesn’t seem very appreciative

trevorzegras YEAHHH KID

liked by edwards.73

username46 good thing happened from bad intentions

username70 oh look it’s a hard launch

username35 oh…

lhughes_06 i have no words

_quinnhughes nope don’t like this one

jackhughes 🙃

_alexturcotte iiiiiii don’t know how to feel about this

username64 these comments r very… not as lively as they should be

username79 🥳🥳

yourusername

liked by lhughes_06, adamfantilli, and 276,829 others

yourusername blue days for the blue gals 💙

view all comments

luca.fantilli ur caption makes no sense

→ yourusername blue = sad

→ luca.fantilli ur sad???

username28 personally i think you should drop him

username16 would now be a good time to exercise my weekly #RUTSUPREMACY privileges

liked by yourusername

→ username35 oh my god she liked the comment

vivianliu YOU NEED A YELLOW DAY. BECAUSE YELLOW = HAPPY. BLUE - BLUE + YELLOW = HAPPY.

→ yourusername i had an aneurysm reading that

→ vivianliu i had an aneurysm writing it

→ vivianliu BUT REGARDLESS IM STILL RIGHT AND U KNOW IT

→ yourusername mmm

→ vivianliu please babe i just want to see you smile again

lhughes_06 did he make u sad.

→ yourusername hi lukey

→ lhughes_06 im taking that as a yes

→ lhughes_06 next time i see that little shit someone’s gonna have to hold me back

→ vivianliu luke! you. don’t. know. how. to. fight????

→ lhughes_06 HOLD ME BACK

username61 awww the outfits are cute

username57 our little fashion queen ⁉️

rutgermcgroarty how about instead of moping we go have a little best friends day at mini golf

→ yourusername im not moping 🤬

→ vivianliu you’re both getting destroyed

→ rutgermcgroarty vivi we all know what your golfing skills are like

→ yourusername rut come pick me up in an hour

→ vivianliu u cant putt for shit dont even talk to me mcgroarty

trevorzegras you’re not updating me on any of this

→ yourusername IM SORRY TREV

→ trevorzegras don’t call me don’t text me 😕😕

username81 girl i need u as my personal stylist

→ username50 FR

adamfantilli i fw those blue pants

→ yourusername ofc you do

→ adamfantilli wdym by that 😢😢

→ yourusername nothing but i am surprised that u didn’t bring up the blue jacket

→ yourusername 😉😉😉😉😉😉

→ adamfantilli you’re not funny

→ luca.fantilli she’s pretty funny

_quinnhughes isn’t that mom’s old skirt

→ yourusername yeah why 🤨

→ _quinnhughes just wondering

→ jackhughes he thinks it looks good on u rosie

→ yourusername AWWW thanks guys ☹️☹️

username5 i’ve never seen someone so pretty before oh my god

colecaufield i’m ready to square up if you need me

→ yourusername oh god

→ colecaufield gonna give that douche a knuckle sandwich 🤬

→ _alexturcotte why are you so violent all of a sudden

→ trevorzegras you punched a wall turcs shut up

edwards.73 why

→ yourusername idk

→ edwards.73 ok

username16 UR SO PRETTY HE DOESNT DESERVE U

jackhughes i told you 10 times be careful with him

→ yourusername will he do what it takes to survive??

→ jackhughes please not again

→ markestapa is that what i think it is

→ mackie.samo is it that one play with the man bun guy

→ luca.fantilli DID SOMEONE SAY HAMILTON

→ rutgermcgroarty no one said hamilton

→ dylanduke25 I HOPE THAT YOUUUUU

→ yourusername BURNNNNNNNN

next chapter notes ) i haven’t updated this in a week guys am i cooked?!?! wanna start that rut au so badly but i don’t want it to flop and i also don’t wanna put another au on hold 😔😔

tags: @dancerbailey3 @hughesfein @loveforaugust @alwaysclassyeagle @love4ldr @inhoodmood @bunting58 @crazycat-ladys-blog @smoooore @bunbunbl0gs @lilasianmeat

[luxcuriousao3]

Dove: A Zombie Ghost Story (Chapter Four)

Summary: “I wonder what color your eyes were…” Ghost wanted to tell her they were brown like hers, but darker. Hers were the type that shone golden in the light, like nutty chocolate and a perfectly brewed cuppa. His were the color of pitch, of the damp, overturned earth of a fresh grave. Fitting, for a man like him. For a monster like him. Word Count: 4297 Warnings: still no smut, triple asterisk denotes a POV change as usual Notes: Happy birthday @kaya-nets ! Here is a surprise midweek update as a little gift, and a thank you for being the first person on tumblr to leave feedback on Dove! It is greatly appreciated, especially since I had a hard today. I hope you had a great birthday! AO3, Masterlist

“It’s nice to meet you, Simon.”

Ghost was sure no word had ever sounded so beautiful. To hear someone calling him by his name again, after all this time, was… he had no words to describe it. If he were religious, he might’ve called it a come-to-God moment. But his dog tags said No Preference for a reason, and that reason was that Ghost had stopped believing in a higher power a long time ago.

As he looked at his little dove, holding his tags and giving him the sweetest smile he’d ever seen, he thought that maybe he’d finally found one he’d happily worship.

He groaned softly, trying to say hello back, and then gestured at her, cocking his head to the side in question.

“What is it?” She asked. He pointed at his dog tags again, then at her once more. Her brows furrowed in confusion, and he grunted, like that would help her understand what he was asking. Maybe it did, or maybe she just remembered how first meetings were typically supposed to go, because her brows went up this time and her pink lips parted, a rosy blush darkening her cheeks. “Oh! Oh, my name, of course. I’m Lelia Par—Addams. Lelia Addams.”

Ghost caught the slip, and the mix of panic and sadness that flashed through her eyes at it. He couldn’t exactly press even if he wanted to, but he didn’t. He had no desire to see his dove upset.

He tried to say her name, despite knowing it was useless. But it was just so pretty. Lelia. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.

That was one of Johnny’s favorite chat up lines, Simon’s voice in his head said distantly, sounding both exasperated and wistful. Ghost ignored it. He didn't know who Johnny was and no amount of trying to force his ruined mind to cough up the memory of him would work. But staying in his dove’s presence, might. She was the reason he’d remembered the name at all.

“Thank you for saving me, by the way,” Lelia said a moment later, handing him his dog tags back. She still looked faintly embarrassed. “Both times… I— I would be dead without you. I suppose not all soldiers are bad…”

Ghost knew that if she were aware of all he’d done, both before and after he’d turned, she wouldn’t think so highly of him. Nonetheless, he would very much have liked to find whichever soldiers made Lelia decide she was better off out here on her own, instead of back on a base, safe and warm and fed. He thought about the way her eyes had looked broken and glassy as she’d spoken about the place she’d come from, and how she’d insisted she’d rather be ripped apart than go back, not a trace of exaggeration in her voice. Whatever had happened to her there must have been hellish.

Ghost wanted to move forward to comfort her, but he’d seen the way she’d gagged and grimaced when he got close to retrieve his tags, slipping them over his head once more. He knew that he smelled something awful, that he always would no matter what he did, but he would at least try to clean himself, for her sake. She couldn’t afford to lose the little food she’d eaten.

There was a stream not far from here, he’d been near it yesterday before he’d decided to investigate all the noise. And he was fast, faster than he had been when he was human. He could be there and back in half an hour, tops.

Lelia, on the other hand, barely looked like she could make it to the front door.

He was incredibly reluctant to let her out of his sight for any length of time. Even just going around to the back of the cabin to dispose of the body earlier had made him twitchy. And if it was just a matter of his smell, he’d wait until tomorrow, when she was rested enough to make the trip with him. But it wasn’t. He could see just how dehydrated she was—chapped lips, dry skin, a constant tremor in her hands… she needed clean drinking water, now. And if he could get some from the stream for her to boil, she would be set.

He would have barricaded the door for extra protection, but it opened outwards rather than in. Shoddy installation job if he’d ever seen one. So instead, he pointed at her, and then at the bedroom. He awkwardly put his hands under his ear and then closed his eyes, pretending to sleep. He bumped his broken jaw as he did, and his teeth clacked against each other loudly.

He heard a little giggle, soft and high pitched. He opened his cloudy eyes to see his dove watching him, a pretty smile on her cherubic face. Her laugh was beautiful, pure and sweet. It was the most wonderful sound he’d ever heard. The sunken skin around his eyes crinkled a little bit, the only evidence of his smile.

“Fine, fine, I’ll go take a nap,” Lelia said, still giggling, as she headed for the bedroom. She disappeared inside, the door closing behind her. He waited until he heard her heartbeat slow and her breaths grow steady, and then he quietly moved the couch in front of it, blocking her in. He didn't want to risk her waking up, finding him gone, and getting herself killed while looking for him. If she decided to look for him. She might not—just because she asked his name and gave him a sweet smile didn’t mean she cared about him, the undead soldier who’d inserted himself into her life and wouldn’t leave her alone. That was alright, though. Ghost was so starved for human interaction that he’d take whatever he could get. And hearing his name from her lips was more than he’d ever expected.

Even if it was less than what he wanted.

With his dove secure, he left the cabin, making sure he didn't hear anyone nearby. There were a few infected a ways away, but if she stayed put—which he’d made sure she would—they wouldn't smell her. He was more worried about other people, but he couldn’t smell or hear anyone within range, so he felt comfortable enough to leave. Barely. He grabbed the large, rusted pail he’d noticed behind the cabin where he’d dumped the other zombie’s body, and then he was off.

-*-

When Ghost saw his reflection in the stream, he understood why Lelia had been so terrified to wake up and see his face first thing.

He’d known he looked bad, he wasn't an idiot. Just because his eyes were clouded didn't mean his vision was. He could see how disgusting the other zombies looked, and he figured he looked much the same.

None of that had prepared him for actually seeing himself.

Blood and gore covered every inch of him, bits of flesh stuck between his teeth and blackened gums—his teeth, which were permanently bared in a snarl, because his lips had rotted away.

That was the most horrifying part, he thought. Not the grey, sunken skin, the milky eyes, or all the gore and viscera. It was that his lips were gone, and he couldn’t kiss his dove even if she’d let him.

You’re disgusting.

The words echoed in his head, and he knew it wasn’t just about his visage. He shouldn't have been thinking about his dove like that. It wasn't as bad as his earlier thoughts, but just about. He was dead. A nasty, rotting corpse that happened to be able to walk around. There was something wrong with him to even be contemplating doing more than hugging Lelia. That was bad enough. She’d never want him to touch her in any way, she’d shown him that earlier when she’d kicked him while he was trying to check her for bites.

But maybe she would let him get a little closer, at least, if he didn't smell so bloody horrid.

It was that possibility that had him methodically strip out of his ragged tactical gear. He washed each piece in the knee-deep stream, even his mask and his boots. He laid them out on the bank to dry, moved a little further upstream, and then repeated the process with his body, dumping bucket after bucket full of water over every part of him.

The amount of congealed black blood and pieces of flesh that came off was concerning. He just hoped that none of the latter was his own.

Finally, he was done, and he stepped out of the stream and redressed in his still damp gear. Moving upstream for a third time, unwilling to contaminate his dove’s drinking water, he filled the bucket once more and began his trek back to the cabin, moving briskly but carefully so as not to spill.

Lelia was still asleep by the time he returned, and so he put the bucket down on the kitchen table, moved the couch away from her door, and then set about starting a fire. There was a small stack of roughly chopped logs next to the old, wood burning stove, and he placed a few inside. He searched through some of the drawers and found a book of matches, letting out a triumphant grunt, unable to believe his luck.

Except of course, things couldn’t be that easy.

Ghost’s fingers were far too stiff and clumsy to light a match. Fine motor skills were difficult for him, his muscles permanently locked in rigor mortis. Even piling up the logs in the stove had been difficult, as had carrying the bucket. He’d had to wrap his arms around it and hold it to his chest because his fingers wouldn't quite bend enough to grasp it by the handle.

After finally getting one of the matches to light, only to immediately drop it on the floor and burn a mark into the wood, Ghost gave up. He would just have to let Lelia do this part.

He moved the bucket onto the stovetop before quietly walking over to the bedroom. He reached out for the door knob and hesitated for a long moment, before letting his hand drop as he turned back around. She’d closed it for a reason, and he didn't need to see her to know she was alright. Her heartbeat and breathing were loud enough. So instead, he resumed his position as her zombified guard dog, and barricaded her door with his body while she slept, standing between her and anything that could bring her harm.

***

This time, when Lelia woke up, she knew exactly where she was.

The tiny bed in the cabin smelled of dust and old mothballs, but it was still far more comfortable than either a tree hollow or the bed she'd shared with Andrew back on the military base. She let herself luxuriate in it for a moment, exhaustion still pulling heavily at her no matter how long she had slept. Finally, she got up, walking over to the door and opening it—only to startle when she found Simon standing directly outside.

“Oh!” She gasped, hand clutching her chest, right over her racing heart. Then, she registered the lack of blood and gore on his face—which looked far less decayed now that it was clean—and the lack of a stomach churning odor wafting over her. He still smelled of death, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it had been before. “You’re— you’re clean!”

Simon groaned quietly. He was staring at her, as if waiting for something. She blinked several times, and then spoke again. 

“Did you— did you do that for me?”

She knew she hadn’t hid her reaction to his stench well enough. She felt a bit bad, but she also couldn’t help but be relieved he'd noticed and decided to do something about it.

Simon jerked his head up and down in a nod, jaw wobbling. He shifted back and forth a little bit, then tilted his head to the side and let out a questioning grunt, milky eyes downcast. He almost seemed… nervous? Shy? Or like he was looking for her approval. She couldn't quite tell. But the thought was endearing, and she smiled at him.

“Thank you,” she said earnestly. “This is much better, really. I appreciate it.”

Despite the fact that he couldn't really make any expression, Lelia got the distinct impression that he was pleased with her answer.

Simon shuffled back, and then stiffly gestured for her to follow him. She did so, curious, and she found she could remain quite close to him without being overwhelmed by the urge to vomit. She still left a meter or so between them, as was proper. She doubted he wanted her crowding his space, after all.

He led her over to the kitchenette, and then gestured to a bucket on top of the stove. She peered inside it, and found that it was full of water. She brightened considerably, licking her dry lips.

“Can I drink this?” She asked, already reaching for the bucket. She was so thirsty, she’d even drink orange juice, right now. And she hated orange juice.

But Simon grunted, reaching out and stopping her hand with his own. His glove was slightly damp, and she blinked, frowning as she looked at him again.

“You’re wet,” she said, finally noticing that his gear was dripping a little bit. He grunted, ignoring her, and then gestured at a matchbook next to the stove. She stared at it in confusion, not knowing what he wanted her to do, before turning her attention back to the trail of water he was leaving in his wake. “You shouldn't walk around in wet clothes. You’ll catch a cold—”

Lelia paused, looked at Simon’s already dead self, and blushed.

“Well. Maybe you won’t, but still. You’re getting water everywhere. You should take them off to let them dry,” she continued, trying to recover. Simon gave her what she thought might have been an amused look, if the little crinkles around his sunken, milky white eyes meant anything. Though it was entirely possible she was just imagining it. “There’s a closet in the bedroom. I’m sure I can find you something to wear while you wait.”

Eager to escape after her blunder, she retreated to do just that. She heard Simon let out a grumble that sounded suspiciously like an exasperated sigh, but she didn't let that stop her. She let out her own noise of victory when she found a set of flannel pajamas that looked like they would fit her zombie.

When she returned to the kitchen, Simon was in the process of removing his gear. Lelia watched as he struggled with zips and buckles—he was making progress, but very slowly—and took a step closer to him.

“Do you need help?” She asked innocently, never one to just stand idly by.

***

Simon froze, damnable buckle falling from his stiff fingers. It had taken him ages to get all this off and back on again at the stream, but he’d managed. He would manage again… but his little dove was offering to help. To stand close to him, to touch him, or at least his clothes… he knew he should have said no, that she was just being kind and didn’t actually want to get anywhere near him—but she sounded so sincere, and he was so fucking desperate. So he groaned quietly, almost ashamed, as he jerked his head in a nod, letting his hands drop back to his sides.

Lelia set the clothes she’d found for him on the arm of the couch and then approached, starting with removing his helmet. She was so small, she couldn’t reach even when she stood on her toes, and he had to crouch down a little bit, knees creaking.

“You’re blonde,” she said, surprised. He looked down at her. She was close enough that he couldn’t smell anything but her, and it was intoxicating. But not nearly as intoxicating as the feel of her body heat, so near yet so far. He sniffed discreetly, once again trying to place the floral scent on her skin. “I don’t know why, but I didn’t expect that. I wonder what color your eyes were…”

Ghost wanted to tell her they were brown like hers, but darker. Hers were the type that shone golden in the light, like nutty chocolate and a perfectly brewed cuppa. His were the color of pitch, of the damp, overturned earth of a fresh grave. Fitting, for a man like him. For a monster like him.

She moved on to unbuckling his vest, and then unzipping his jacket once he’d gotten the bulky gear out of the way. Underneath was a plain black t-shirt, the least destroyed item of clothing he had on, but also the foulest smelling. Her delicate little nose wrinkled slightly, and he would have found it adorable if he weren't so embarrassed. He reeked, still, and she smelt so delicious he began to drool again. He reached up to wipe it away, but his dove beat him to it, using the sleeve of the jacket he’d just discarded. She seemed entirely unphased, rather than repulsed like he thought she’d be, just giving him a smile before stepping back.

“No buttons on that,” she said as an explanation. He didn’t dare mention the buttons on his combat trousers, once again disgusted by his own thoughts. He pulled his t-shirt off after a second of hesitation, knowing the grisly sight that lay beneath. Grey, translucent, thinning skin smattered with deep gashes in several places that would never heal. They were accompanied by faded tattoos and dozens of scars, including a patchwork of rough, burnt flesh over his bicep and left shoulder, going all the way down to his hip. He reached quickly for the dry shirt, but Lelia stopped him.

“Your gloves,” she said, staring at his torso with a look on her face that he couldn’t quite read. It wasn't positive, though, he could tell that much. She tore her gaze away a second later, gently grabbing one of his hands and pulling it closer to her as she undid the velcro strap at his wrist. She slipped her fingers beneath the wrist of his glove, and he felt her skin directly against his own for the very first time.

He groaned, resisting the urge to grab her hand and keep it where it was. He couldn’t feel the softness of her skin, his own senses too numb for that, but the heat of it practically scorched him in the most pleasant way. It sank all the way down to his frozen bones, and when it slipped away as she pulled his glove off, it was agony.

She repeated the process with his other glove, and his bare hands twitched as he fought not to clutch onto hers and not let go. Finally, he regained control of himself, grabbing the flannel pajama shirt and pulling it on. It was a couple sizes too small, clinging to him like a second skin and stopping an inch or so above the waistband of his combat trousers, but it would do for now, even if he felt ridiculous.

“You’re shivering,” his dove said, frowning. “I’ll fetch you a blanket.”

She turned around and headed back into the bedroom, and he took the chance to shuck off his trousers. It was almost as if the warmth of her touch had reinvigorated his hands, or perhaps it was just luck, because he managed to get the button on the third try, and the zip on the second. He stepped into the too-small flannels just as she was returning with the quilt he’d given her earlier. He tried to avoid taking it—though he felt cold, he knew it was all in his mind—as he didn't want to contaminate it with the smell of death. But Lelia was stubborn, and she just wrapped the blanket around his shoulders for him, so he looked like he was wearing a flowery, quilted cape.

“There,” she said with a pleased smile, before bending down to pick up his gear and head over to the door. He followed her, a silent, massive, undead shadow, unwilling to let her go outside without him. He stood guard as she hung the clothes over the half-rotted wooden banister of the tiny porch, and when she came back in, he grunted to get her attention again before leading her back to the kitchenette. He tapped the matchbook, then pointed at the pile of firewood in the metal belly of the stove.

“You want me to start a fire?” She asked nervously, and he nodded, pointing at the logs again. She paled. “I don't know… I’ve never done that before. What if I burn myself?”

Ghost didn't like the thought of her getting hurt any more than she did, but they didn’t have a choice. She needed drinkable water, and right now, boiling what was in the bucket was the only way she was going to get that. So he fumbled for the book of matches and then pressed it into her hands—and if he let out another pleased groan when her warm skin touched his again, he hoped she misread it as encouragement.

His dove looked afraid, but she notched her chin and accepted the matches, clearly trying to put on a brave face. He let himself wonder at the fact that she had never used matches before. What kind of world had she lived in, prior to the end of it? Based on her nice clothes, posh accent, and utter lack of survival instincts, he imagined it was something privileged, something sheltered. He would’ve scoffed at the thought if he were still alive—pretty little rich girl with a pretty, perfect life. Had the dead not risen, she likely would have never known pain or fear or struggle. It would’ve angered him back then; the injustice of it all. The jealousy. Now, he just felt sad. She deserved a life like that. Not this hell on earth. She was woefully unprepared for her new reality—and she had suffered for it. The men she had had to rely on to keep her safe had put that haunted look in her eyes that spoke of a pain familiar to him, if unnamable. It bothered him that he couldn’t remember. That he couldn’t kill each and every person that had ever contributed to her suffering. But there was nothing he could do about that, now. All he could do was keep her safe, keep her alive. And maybe even make her laugh again.

It took a few tries, and several broken matches, but Lelia finally managed to get one lit without immediately dropping it in fear. She tossed it into the stove, and while Ghost would have advised her to hold it to the corner of one of the logs, first, it did the trick, and the fire caught. He gave her a groan of approval, and admired the way her face lit up with pride, a rosiness dusting her cheeks as she grinned. She was always beautiful, but when she smiled, she looked like an angel. Something far too good and far too pure for this hellish plane and all the monsters that lived on it, both alive and dead.

Together, they watched the water boil. It was about as exciting as watching paint dry, and took only slightly less time due to the old fashioned stove and small flame. He didn't mind, though, as his dove eventually began to fill the silence with mindless chatter, telling him about the meals her private chef—oh, so she’d been rich rich—used to make for her. Ghost was informed very seriously that Román was the best cook in the world and could have had his own restaurant, but he liked hearing Lelia’s in-depth analysis of his meals too much to leave. Ghost thought it was adorable that she believed that that’s why the chef had stayed, rather than the money he was making. Then again, Ghost had stayed because of her too, so maybe there was some truth to her words after all.

When the water was sufficiently clean, he grabbed the bucket and moved it off the stove so it could cool down. Curiously, he didn't feel any heat from it, despite knowing it had to be hot enough to burn. It only made him crave his dove’s touch even more, the only source of warmth in his cold, undead life.

He searched through the cupboards again as they waited, looking for some sort of cup. He found a single dusty mug with a large chip near the rim. It was no crystal champagne flute, like she was clearly used to, but it would do. He handed it over, and Lelia made a face but thanked him nonetheless. She unbuttoned her pink tweed jacket and untucked a section of her still clean white blouse underneath, using it to wipe out the mug. He stared.

Look away, Simon’s voice in his head ordered. Ghost reluctantly obeyed. You’re a vile creature. You don’t get to look at her like that.

Even if Ghost was alive, he'd probably think the same thing. He’d been old and monstrous then. He was dead and monstrous now. He'd never lived a life in which he would deserve a sweet thing like her. But he still wanted, in this life and the last.

So when Lelia smiled at him after drinking her fill of the purified water, lips still wet and shiny, he tried to ignore the phantom sensation of his undead heart pounding in his chest.

[cubtales]

𝒶𝓇𝑔𝑒𝓃𝓍𝒾 ୨୧ !

ahem . . was permitted by dear femi to yap so for our anniversary (∩´͈ ᴖ `͈∩ ྀི) here's the answers to this roma's lovely selfship ask game ! ♡

for those who sent some questions in the first time ૮꒰ ིྀ ⍝ ⍝ ꒱ა sorry if this is a bother, thank you for sending them in ! : @mewnbuns @femivi @silkjade @eriyuan

heaven sent ৻ꪆ how did you and your lover meet?

hmm . . well if you asked my dear rose, he'd tell you about the two of us meeting by chance on the astral express, and how he soon became the victim of my very obvious pining for him. however ! the actual tale of our first meeting was in a more regal setting . .

we were both in attendance for a masquerade ball, he who was invited for his noble deeds in the name of the beauty and i who happened to come from the noble family that hosted the event. unfortunately it was a horrible day for me, thanks to events prior to the ball. i'd like to say i was a teardrop away from sobbing my heart out on the terrace, fighting tears hoping the only audience i had was the silent night sky. not sure how much timed passed, but soon my watery eyes caught gaze of the petals of a beautiful red rose being presented by a knight who looked akin to a entire meadow of them. ♥︎

not sure of rosie remembers, but even if he did our interactions after was hidden behind a glittery mask and soon– kiss stained letters ◜ᴗ◝

mocha ৻ꪆ what was your first kiss like?

oh it was during a journey that he had invited me to venture with him ˘͈ᵕ˘͈ ( i often blow up his phone whenever he leaves to another planet without me— wanting any chance for the two of us to spend time together. ) we were chatting near a lake, while our campfire was losing it's flame behind us. after fighting with my thoughts for a few mins, i intertwined our fingers together using the excuse that it was getting cold . . just for him to pull me closer ∑(๑º口º๑)!! now you have me stammering because there's limits to my confidence while he's realizing how close our faces are . . you can guess what he does next <///< . .

confetti ৻ꪆ if you and your lover are married, in what season did you get married? was it a big or small wedding? what was the theme?

unfortunately not yet . . (∩´͈ ᴖ `͈∩ ྀི) hastag fiancés ! but the only right answer would be getting married in the spring 🌹 (ˊᗜˋ*)و the colors being blush red, white & sage green. definitely a fairy tale like wedding for my sake hehe + it wouldn't be big .. i think ?

honey ৻ꪆ where did your honeymoon take place?

the place hasn't released yet but callin' dibs on amphoreus ˘͈ᵕ˘͈ ( though i do think we travel to several planets during it!)

orchid ৻ꪆ what does your home look like?

˘ ᴗ ̫ ᴗ ˘ unfortunately can not giv a good description of it right now renovations r not complete oopsies . . but do know that before we moved into our dear home where we rested was pretty undecided ehe..

caramel popcorn ৻ꪆ do you and your lover have any children?

nope nope 、、sadly TT

biscuit ৻ꪆ do you and your lover have any pets?

we do we do (๑و>o<)و one of our biggest updates actually ! we have adorable pet wubbaboo named madam wubba ! ( took some convincing on my part but i got it done nyehehe ) & thanks to a secret friend 🐾 a sweet ruan mei creation, ice cake! "(n>w<n)" i love them to death sniffls seeing argenti playing with madam wubba is literally fanservice.. a dessert for the eyes..

moonlight ৻ꪆ what does a perfect friday night look like for the two of you?

i'd say going out on a sweet dinner date together, after we enjoy each-others presence in the streets of penacony's golden hour doing god knows what ♥︎

sunlight ৻ꪆ what does a perfect saturday morning look like for the two of you?

intertwined together under the soft pillowy sheets after i successfully convinced him to sleep in along with me (*ฅ́˘ฅ̀*) bonus points if we wake up to icecake flopping around the room hehe !

ribbon ৻ꪆ what kind of gifts do they buy you? what gifts do you buy them?

gifts argenti would get for me consists of plenty of things ! since they'd all be souviners or gifts that reminded him of me at first glance ♡ though i really really adore themed teacups ! ! + i love love parasols ! ! i've made a collection when the ones he's given thus far :3

gifts i'd get him would be mostly baked goods ! showing him the pleasant world of sweet breads :3c i also get / make charms for him that he can wear or place on his ship ! if i go on adventures with him i'll bring back my own souvenirs ^O^ ! oh i also commissioned a sculpture of us for our garden that caught him off guard ゞ(≧ε≦*) surprising him is my fav !

ladybug ৻ꪆ if they were to send a bouquet of flowers to your home, what kind of flowers would they send? and what would the notecard say?

as you would think、argenti absolutely adores love sending me bouquets. but he always makes sure to get me white roses ‎♡⃛ ̖́-it started from an journey we had took before we got together, we were walking the streets and came across a flower shop that was newly opened! during the time we happened to be talking about what flower reminded us of another (∩´͈ ᴖ `͈∩ ྀི) he assumed i'd say a red rose ( which is fair ) but truthfully, i associate him more with white roses. yes, his hair is a gorgeous shade of rose red but part that fades into white absolutely has my heart ! !

the response surprised him a little. coincidentally, he caught sight of the white roses the stand were selling behind us and bought me a single pristine flower to tuck into my hair, which i returned by buying and tucking one in his ♡ ever since he'd send / gift white roses to me.. started from single ones, to three, to seven, to bouquets of thirty ! all from the same shop ^^ these days he threatens to send hundreds . .

polaroid ৻ꪆ what’s your favorite picture of them? what’s their favorite picture of you?

hm, i believe our favorite photos are the ones that are encased in our lockets hehe mine is one where he's pressing a big kiss on my cheek ! ! and his is a off guard photo of me inside the garden with our wubbaboo hehe <3

mango ৻ꪆ do you and your lover like to dance?

yes yes yes yes ! i absolutely adore dancing, and it soon implemented into our relationship. for us dance is a conversation between our hearts ♡ i tend to be very quiet about how i feel, and he can be stubborn with not talking about what bothers him. times like these we would dance to what fits best, theres always a tune playing in our living room .. let it be a waltz or just him spinning me around, every melody becomes memory as long as we're together. ( ah this reminded me to repost aria (∩´͈ ᴖ `͈∩ ྀི) )

cinnamon ৻ꪆ what pet names do they call you? what pet names do you call them?

he is my rose and i am his star hehe ദ്ദി(⩌ᴗ⩌ ) but some other nicknames would be :

🌹 : dear knight, baby, darling, rosie, honey.

⭐️ : little lady, sweetheart, princess, doll, his nymph.

vanilla ৻ꪆ what do they keep on their nightstand? what do you keep on yours?

on my nightstand you'll find many many pictures frames, i adore photographing memories i spend with him and others. you'll also find the bouquet of the week, my phone and my locket ♡

on his nightstand you'll find the keys to one and only, his spear laying beside it with a soft brush laid near his keys. his locket and phone would b there as well :3c

strawberry ৻ꪆ who’s the big spoon? who’s the little spoon?

ugggh! i wanna be big spoon so badly!! he's so snuggly and i wanna snuggle him in my chest but turns out it's the same with him TT so i guess he's big spoon and i'm little spoon . .

chocolate ৻ꪆ where do the two of you love to travel to?

currently no favorites right now (∩´͈ ᴖ `͈∩ ྀི) but i guess we can say penacony ! ( my excuse to go see miss robin ^3^ )

dirty martini ৻ꪆ what’s your sex life like? share whatever you’d like!

it's . . verie adventurous . . sometimes i feel as if i overly poked a sleeping beast ᖰ⌯𖥦⌯ᖳ we were each others first times and he's extremely observant and teasing and and and [ dies ]

rose petal ৻ꪆ how do you two feel about dry humping?

ᖰ𖦹‎𖦹ᖳ . . ok so dry humping is very very common between us rite . and it's all my fault because i'd initiate it and not heed his 'warnings' because seeing his cheeks turn rosie red makes me feel accomplished okie . i've payed for my actions thoroughly . .

starry eyed ৻ꪆ what makes the two of you come immediately (or get real close to)?

. . when i'm begging him for a baby :3 we know we can't have one now too so it's like a guilty pleasure jsjdjdj ( also when he gets strict with me and he's grunting in my ear and and ♡__♡ )

lovesick ৻ꪆ what’s their biggest kink(s)? and yours?

hmm we have the shared ones being praise and breeding, but i do think he loves it when i'm riding his thigh with his armor still on (´❛-❛`) i also believe he is a exhibitionist which he firmly denies. ( he says no but be the same one trying to get touchy on the hood of his ship hmph . )

plum ৻ꪆ are they loud or quiet in bed? what about you?

he's loud (∩´͈ ᴖ `͈∩ ྀི) grunts, moans, soft whines you name it <3 it truly is a treat, sometimes i like to talk him through it so he'd respond with that breathy voice of his . . ᖰ⌯𖥦⌯ᖳ

blossom ৻ꪆ praise or degradation? a mixture of both?

praise definitely ♡ it's even yummier when that charmer side takes a hit since too drunk off the moment hehe..

coconut ৻ꪆ where do they like to come?

૮꒰ ིྀ ⍝ ⍝ ꒱ა . . my face and inside . .

macaroon ৻ꪆ where do you and your lover adore to have sex?

honestly speaking . . in his ship. he's preparing for lift off and i'm busy bouncing in his co— [ gets blown up ]

[rambleonwaywardson]

Clegan Astronaut AU - Part 16

Masterpost Read on AO3

Definitions post has been updated

AU Summary: the boys as modern day NASA astronauts. Taking place in 2025, Bucky is about to head to the moon as mission commander of Artemis III while Buck is CAPCOM at NASA. Established relationship (obnoxiously in love).

Author's Note: “He’s the heavens and the Earth and the depths of the sea. He’s the entire universe, settled into stardust, at the center of a single beautiful soul.”

---

I will love you.

Even if this life tries to tear you limb from limb, plaguing us both with nightmares that clutch at our throats and bind our hands in iron shackles of a memory that might never leave us in peace. I will love you even if you come back to me a changed man, an echo of who you thought yourself to be, the remnants of someone who dared to fly too close to the sun. I will love you in life, and I will love you in death, and I will love you in every infinitesimal point between the two. I will love you.

In any way that you are.

I will love you even if you don’t remember me. If your eyes should find mine and not recognize within them the life we lived, the way your hands held mine and the way your voice forged the foundation of my life, I will still love you. If your fingers shake and your voice breaks and your lungs give out, I will hold you up with every last bit of strength I have. Because I will love you, even if you can’t say it back, even if you can’t feel it the same way, even if it will bring me to pieces every damn day… I will love you, even if you don’t come home to me.

You’ve come so far, and I need you to come just a little farther. It won’t be easy. It will hurt. I’m selfish, I know, but as I wait for the tides to bring you home, every time my heart beats, it’s beating for you. Every breath I take is to remind you to breathe, too. I hold my head high and I speak with the certainty of the officer, the leader, that they tell me I was born to be. I grit my teeth and I tear my hair out and I wear holes in the floor as I pace to the ends of the Earth, acting like I’m fine when everyone knows, I’m still standing because I have no choice. To sit down is to give up, and I will not give up on you.

I will love you. With everything that I have. I will love you. From the heavens above to the sea below. I will love you. From the dawn of time to the end of time. I will love you. Because I don’t know who I am if I don’t. 

I will love you.

So please, come home.

—

November 26 Low Earth Orbit

Helen: “Rosie? Do you copy?”

Helen: “Rosie?”

Rosie: “Huh?”

Rosie reaches a clumsy hand up to rub at his eyes, and he squints into the sterile darkness of the cabin. It’s quiet, everyone asleep, the Earth looming large out their window. So close he feels like he could fall right into it, but they aren’t ready yet.

Helen: “Can you check on John? His heart rate and breathing are elevated.”

Rosie takes a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment to gather strength. It’s the middle of the night, and he feels like he hasn’t slept in days. Because he hasn’t. But he makes a noise of acknowledgement and releases himself from his sleeping bag, drifts away from the wall it’s strung up on. When he makes it over to Bucky, the commander is fussing, making sounds of distress. Rosie has found him like this several times in the last couple days – he always seems most confused, most agitated, at night, when it’s dark and he’s alone. When Bucky’s eyes meet Rosie’s, sure enough, there’s little comprehension there. His hair is matted to his forehead with sweat.

“Shit, shit no, don’t do that, John.” Rosie lunges forward to grab at Bucky’s hand, which is tugging weakly at the IV taped to his arm. The skin around it is extremely irritated and the catheter rests at an off angle that makes Rosie’s heart drop. “Fuck. Oh god, John…”

Helen: “What’s going on, Rosie?”

Rosie pushes away from Bucky to get the lights turned on, unable to move fast enough in this little cabin when there’s no gravity to scramble through. His other crewmates groan at the brightness. Waking to Bucky trying to injure himself in some new way every night is not all that different from the faulty alarms they dealt with on the way to the moon, except now it’s their friend that’s malfunctioning.

When Rosie tells Helen “He’s dislodged his IV,” everyone wakes up that little bit more and starts to get moving.

Rosie unzips Bucky’s sleeping bag and pulls him upright, the commander fighting him the entire time. When Rosie tries to grab his arm to get at the IV, Bucky whines and shakes his head, pulling away.

“I need to get that out of there before it causes serious damage, John,” Rosie explains. “You’re gonna need a new one for the morning.”

Bucky shakes his head again, going so far as to block the catheter with his other hand. Rosie reaches for his hand and clamps clammy fingers between his own.

He grips his own hair with his other hand, trying to stay patient even though his own heart is beating too fast and he feels half delirious from exhaustion. “I know you don’t like it,” he says carefully. “But you need all the strength you can get before we go home. It’s only for… about six more hours, okay? That’s all I’m asking for. Let me fix this, and I’ll take it out in six hours. Deal?”

Bucky shakes his head, but the motion makes him so dizzy that his eyes go wide and he groans in discomfort, seeming to lose all sense of orientation in the zero g. His nose scrunches and he closes his eyes against the sensation. Somehow, he ends up with his head resting against Rosie’s shoulder for support. Rosie sighs and wraps an arm around him, holding him close and rubbing his side soothingly. He half expects Bucky to ask for Gale, seeking that safety again, but he doesn’t. He just stays there, tucked against Rosie’s side, too sick to move or care or comprehend any of it, wanting nothing more than comfort and someone to take some of the pain away. He won’t remember any of this, save for uncomfortable snapshot moments.

Rosie lets him stay there for a good few minutes, by which point Alex and Curt have both snapped into action, communicating with Helen about what’s happening. Curt makes his way to Bucky’s other side, brushes back his sweaty hair, offers him his water pouch. Bucky sips weakly, but struggles to swallow and makes no move to try again. His progress and regression occurred in whiplash increments as it was, but the fever has sapped any strength he was regaining right out of him.

As Curt convinces him to take another sip, Alex brings over the necessary supplies to remove Bucky’s IV so Rosie can replace it.

Rosie squeezes Bucky’s shoulder. “I’m gonna take out your IV, alright?”

Bucky protests weakly, wordlessly. As Rosie is about to shift around to his front and get to work anyway, Bucky points at the far side of the crew cabin. “Bear.”

Rosie follows his finger, and sure enough, Beary Egan has floated away, clear to the window of the capsule, where he seems to be looking out at the Earth below them. A quick little laugh pops out of Rosie’s mouth. “Is that what’s got you so worked up? Trying to tear out your IV because you lost the bear?”

Bucky doesn’t answer, but his eyes follow Alex as he retrieves the stuffed animal, and he reaches for it. Once Beary Egan is in his hand again, he gives Rosie no issue about cleaning up his arm and replacing the IV.

—

Johnson Space Center. Houston, TX

“Your husband’s a sassy little shit, you know,” Benny says when Gale arrives in Mission Control. Red Shift doesn’t start for another couple of hours, but Gale insisted on coming in early as the crew preps for re-entry, mostly in case Bucky needs him for any reason. Marge was coming in regardless to speak with reporters about the re-entry process, and she was all too happy to shove Gale off on Benny when they arrived.

“You’re driving me insane, Gale,” she told him when he wouldn’t stop shaking his leg or tapping his fingers or biting his lip. The depressed, tired grief that Marge has been worried about for days has been replaced with an anxious energy as Gale awaits Bucky’s safe return. She gave him a tight hug before he entered Mission Control, taking a minute to help him regulate his breathing. “Calm down, and keep your head on this planet.”

“That’s not news,” Gale tells Benny now. John’s always been a sassy little shit.

“Even when he’s sick, sitting on death’s door…” Benny throws his hands out in exasperation. Gale swallows the pressing need to say don’t say that. Because Bucky is going to be fine. He has to be fine. 

Instead, he asks what happened. And Benny tells him about the IV ordeal, which makes Gale rub a hand over his eyes because it’s too damn early to be told that Bucky keeps finding ways to almost kill himself. If he came all this way only to die by air embolism…

“We’re all pretty sure Rosie caught it before it caused any damage,” Benny reassures him. “Replaced it with a new one for the morning, and Rosie’ll take it out before they get him suited up.”

An equally demoralizing thing to hear is that Bucky’s fever isn’t getting any better, and, among other obvious ailments, it’s left him confused, uncomfortable, and lethargic all night and for much of the morning. He started refusing food again last night, complaining of nausea and extreme pain. He hasn’t been very lucid, and his strength is pretty much shot. But he’s started talking more throughout the morning.

“Any time I try to talk to him, he just says ‘fuck you,’” Benny reports. “I know he can say other words. I’ve heard him talking to the guys. But for me, all I get is a fuck you.”

Benny rolls his eyes in irritation, muttering something along the lines of “what the fuck did I do?” But it makes Gale smile for the first time since he left JSC yesterday, because if nothing else, that sounds like John. He accepts the spare headset that Benny grudgingly holds out to him.

Gale: “Good morning Artemis 3. I hear my husband is being a handful.”

Curt: “Benny’s just a wuss.”

Gale: “Is John there?”

Curt tells him to wait a moment, then there’s crackling as headsets turn on and off on the other side of the transmission. Gale exhales a breath he didn’t realize he was holding when he hears Bucky’s voice.

Bucky: “Hey doll.”

Gale: “How are you?”

Bucky: “... pretty bad.”

Gale nods, biting at his lip. A dumb question. He resists the urge to tell his husband that everything’s gonna be okay, that he’ll be okay.

Gale: “You’re coming home today, you know.”

Bucky: “Mmm.”

Rosie: “Heads up, Buck, he’s speaking well but he’s still pretty out of it. Can’t focus for shit. Keeps getting confused and disoriented.”

Gale: “Thanks Rosie. John, I’m here at the space center for the day, okay? I’ll be right here with you if you need me.”

Bucky: “Mkay.”

Gale: “I love you.”

Bucky: “Mhm.”

Gale shakes his head and ignores the way Benny is trying not to laugh beside him.

Rosie: “Sorry, Buck. He’s just up here kinda existing right now. Looking out the window. I’m gonna take the headset off of him, but I’ll let you know if he needs you.”

Gale thanks Rosie, shoves Benny’s shoulder, and goes in search of coffee. 

—

On TV, a live broadcast has already started hours before Orion is scheduled to land back on Earth. A news crew is stationed outside of Johnson Space Center, where the sun has yet to rise.

“The eyes of the whole world have been on NASA for the last week, since American astronaut, Major John Egan, suffered an accident on the lunar surface that left him unconscious and in unstable condition. The Director of the Human Spaceflight Program, Colonel Neil Harding, cited a faulty rover wheel as the cause of a driving incident that ended with the rover tumbling down the side of Shackelton crater, crushing Major Egan beneath it.

“The Artemis 3 commander is said to have suffered a traumatic brain injury and a tibial fracture in addition to decompression illness after his oxygen regulator was compromised during the incident. Egan remained in a comatose state for more than two days, suffering seizures and decompression symptoms. Starship pilot, Curtis Biddick, worked tirelessly to keep Egan alive until they could rendezvous with their other crew members in the Orion crew capsule.

“Egan continues to endure TBI symptoms, but is said to be steadily recovering. The crew has spent the last three and a half days on an emergency return trajectory from the moon, and will splash down off the San Diego coast later this morning. We’re here outside of Johnson Space Center, where NASA’s Mission Control has worked nonstop to bring Major Egan and the rest of the Artemis 3 crew home alive.

“Yesterday, we spoke with Major Egan’s husband, Major Gale Cleven, who is a flight controller and fellow astronaut slated to travel to the moon on Artemis 4. This is the first time we’ve heard from Major Cleven since the incident occurred.”

The broadcast cuts to a clip from the day before, when the reporter jumped Gale and Marge as they walked into JSC. Gale is dressed in his typical Mission Control work attire, his hair is styled perfectly, and dark aviators hide the exhaustion in his eyes. It’s obvious that talking to this reporter is the last thing he wants to do, but when she asks him about re-entry and John’s odds for survival, he turns and flashes that cocky pilot’s grin. Major Buck Cleven.

“We’re gonna bring our boys home safe,” he assures her.

“Including your husband?”

His smile falters, but he nods and runs a hand through his hair, somehow managing to look calm and sure when he’s anything but. “Yes.”

She asks about failure, what it could mean for the space program.

Gale looks at her for a long moment, works his jaw. He starts to turn away. “Failure is not an option,” he states, an Apollo-era motto that still rings true. He walks towards the Mission Control building, head high, back straight. He doesn’t look back.

—

Bucky starts showing more signs of life as the morning goes on and activity picks up around him – cabin housekeeping, communication with Houston, calculation checks, general mayhem. As they prepare for re-entry, even Bucky’s sleeping bag has been rolled up and stowed, leaving him floating in the middle of the cabin with nothing to keep him in place for the first time since he came back aboard Orion.

Curt pats him on the shoulder and releases a mostly empty packet of soup into the air to float across the cabin to Rosie, who discards the trash. Bucky swallowed a good three quarters of the soup and seems comfortable enough, no immediate signs of spitting it back out.

“Orange juice?” he asks. He frowns and scrunches his nose, closing his eyes as his hand drifts up towards his head. Rosie took the gauze off when Bucky woke up this morning to make the com cap he’ll have to wear more comfortable. But he gave a strict warning that if Bucky scratched at the wound for so much as a second the gauze was going back on. No one could tell if he understood, but he hasn’t made any move to bother the gash since. He’s been shivering all morning, his cheeks bright red, and he keeps complaining about his head hurting.

Rosie sends a packet of orange juice drifting towards Curt, who catches it and gets it open. “Don’t let him have too much,” Rosie instructs. “I need him to keep it down this time.”

Bucky sticks his tongue out, and Curt does it back to him. “You heard the doctor. Just a few sips.”

Curt lets him drink about a quarter of the packet before pulling it away and handing it back to Rosie. Bucky wraps his arms tight over his chest, Beary Egan secure over his heart. His body shakes as he leans his forehead against the capsule window, letting the cool glass press against his forehead. His fever’s running at 101 degrees now, his face burning as chills rack his body.

Curt faces him, putting a hand on each of Bucky’s arms and rubbing at them gently. When Bucky looks at him with a pained expression, eyes wet and dazed, Curt pulls him against his chest. Bucky rests his head against Curt, looking for comfort or relief or something to make this go away. He can’t focus, can’t think, can’t move. The shivering is making his whole body tense up and everything is sore or broken as it is. The pounding in his head isn’t getting any better and he feels like he might throw up all the damn time even though he hasn’t in a little while now.

“You’re alright,” Curt tells him. “Just think, in a few hours we’ll be floatin’ in the middle of the Pacific. Sun shining. 72 degrees. The sound of the waves, the birds. Blue sky overhead.”

Bucky nods against Curt’s shoulder. “Home.”

“Yeah, we’re goin’ home. We’ll get you all fixed up. Gale’ll break down every door on the planet to get to you, and he won’t leave your side. And you’re gonna be alright.”

Bucky whispers a muffled ‘Buck’ into Curt’s shoulder, and Curt holds him tighter, willing everything he said to come true.

“Alright boys,” Rosie says, coming up beside them. “Let’s get that IV out. Time to suit up.”

—

Alex: “One minute to re-entry interface.”

With the Orion capsule returned to it’s launch/entry configuration, all four astronauts sit in the center of the cabin. They’re clad in their OCS suits, preparing for re-entry into Earth’s atmosphere. Bucky gave them some attitude about it, but he eventually conceded his seat to Alex so that Curt could have a consistently coherent co-pilot. It breaks Bucky a little bit inside, but it’s the only option. He sits in the back row with Rosie, his head turned to the side so he can see out the window. They can no longer see the entire Earth, just the curvature of its horizon and the storm systems rotating across the vast oceans, the continents outlined in browns and greens against the dark blue of the water. 

Alex: “Thirty to RRT.”

Curt: “36,076 feet per second. Comin’ in hot boys.” 

Bucky tries to read the numbers on Curt’s screen, the ones that he, as commander, should be aware of, keeping track of, and calling out. But trying to focus on the text as they hurtle full force into the planet’s atmosphere makes his vision swim, making him feel sick. He sips water from the straw in his suit’s neck ring and looks out the window again, focuses on the Earth, the stars. The feeling of flying faster than any man on Earth. He smirks a little bit. 

Bucky: “Almost as hot as you, Buck.” 

Everyone groans. Alex mutters something about preferring when Bucky couldn’t talk, even though everyone knows he doesn’t mean it.

Gale: “Save it for when you’re on land, Major.” Bucky can hear the smile in his voice, though.

Alex: “Six seconds. Five, four, three…”

Curt: “Mark. RRT. The clock is running.”

Gale: “Artemis 3, we have a dropout in telemetry. You’re passing through the atmosphere.”

Bucky’s brain latches onto the sound of Gale’s voice. The sound of home. He’s heading towards it, and he’ll make it even if it almost kills him. He tries to ignore the sharp pain ripping through his head and every part of his body, the way his vision doesn’t want to work right, the way his ears ring.

Curt: “Hundredth of a G… a tenth.”

They are officially no longer in zero gravity. Beary Egan, resuming his duty as zero g indicator, has been tied with a string to Bucky’s seat so he doesn’t get in the way during re-entry. Bucky watches him drift to the floor, no longer weightless.

Alex: “We got some glow up here.”

Curt: “Oh shit look at that.”

The exterior of the capsule is engulfed in a fiery glow as it interacts with the upper atmosphere, cutting through its layers like a bowling ball through a stack of paper. The blunt force of the capsule and the friction between it and the air causes a build-up of ionized gases, creating plasma that glows hot orange and blue. The heat shield on Orion’s exterior is the only thing protecting the crew from burning alive.

Bucky: “Fuckin’ fireball.”

Curt: “0.27 Gs… 0.65… 1.23”

Gale: “Comin’ up on 1 minute.”

Curt: “2 Gs. Comin’ up on blackout.” 

At one minute and 20 seconds, Orion hits its maximum heat load of nearly 4,500 degrees fahrenheit, a fireball hurtling through the sky half as hot as the sun itself. The plasma interferes with the signal between the capsule and the ground, causing a routine communications blackout. Around 1 minute and thirty seconds, they encounter the maximum gravitational force of their return trip, roughly 7 Gs that press them into their seats with such force that it’s nearly impossible to move, making them feel like they weigh seven times more than usual.

Bucky tries not to scream in agony at the feeling of his broken leg being crushed under the excess weight it puts on his body, gritting his teeth and groaning against the intense pain. His vision gets darker and darker around the edges and his hand tries to fumble around for Rosie’s arm, searching for something to ground himself, but it’s too hard for him to move. Rosie notices and finds his wrist, squeezing it. 

Rosie: “You’re gonna be alright, Major.”

Curt: “Gonna get you home, Bucky. Just hang on.”

Bucky: “... Can’t…” Bucky feels his heart rate going up, so fast he thinks it might burst out of his chest, but he doesn’t understand how that would be possible when his whole body is pinned to the seat.

Rosie: “Hang in there, John.”

Bucky: “Gale?”

Curt: “We’re in blackout. Hang on and I’ll get you back to him, okay?”

But the way the world is crushing his body – digging spears into his brain and twisting his leg like a wet rag – tears a scream from his lungs that no one but his crew can hear. His eyes watch the bright blue of the heat licking at the windows, like a gas stove that’s as hot as a literal star. He wonders, if the window broke open, would it vaporize him fast enough to make the pain go away? An Icarus on Earth, this capsule his wings.

His vision goes almost completely black as he watches the firestorm, listens to Curt and Alex rattle off readings. “5 Gs… 2 minutes… Look at this baby fly… 4 Gs… Pressure good… roll… She’s doin’ her job real well…”

The blaze outside starts to recede, but the one in his head doesn’t go with it. He doesn’t stay conscious long enough to hear Gale’s voice searching for his after the blackout ends. His heart feels like it might just give up. 

Rosie: “He’s out. Whole lotta Gs for him.”

Gale: “Don’t tell him that when he wakes up. He’d be embarrassed that he couldn’t handle 7 Gs.” There’s the slightest hint of nervousness to Gale’s voice, and they all know he’s trying to hide it. 

Alex: “I can’t even lift my head. Don’t wanna imagine the hell it was for him.”

Gale: “Coming up on five, boys. How’s she doing?”

Curt: “Smooth ride, Buck. Smooth as anything I’ve ever flown.”

Gale: “Can’t be too smooth then.”

Curt: “You’re full of shit.”

As the gravitational force on the capsule begins to decrease, slowing down to only a few hundred miles per hour, they can actually see the oranges and pinks and dark blues of an Earth-bound daybreak out their window.

Alex: “It’s beautiful, Houston. We’re riding at 3 Gs. Look at that sky out there!”

Gale: “We’re getting some data back now. Everything’s lookin’ good.”

Curt: “Think we’re just about at the transonic region.” Over 30,000 feet above the surface, they’re finally slowing down to Mach 1, the edge between subsonic and supersonic, the sound barrier itself.

Alex: “Let me know when we reach 30k.”

Gale: “Bring it home, boys.”

—

Red Shift took over thirty minutes before re-entry, and Gale stands behind his console with a headset over his ear, pacing back and forth with such intensity that his shoes leave scuffs on the old carpet floor. He can see Marge repeatedly glancing over at him even as she tries to focus on relaying information for the public, but he can’t deal with her worry right now. He has a crew to bring home.

He bites at his thumbnail and watches telemetry readings start to fill his and Croz’s screens once again. The capsule is performing as hoped, no major concerns yet. The heat shield survived the inferno of the upper atmosphere, protecting the crew from a fiery death. That’s what space travel is, after all – designing ways to survive one deathly hazard after another, shoving the human body past the limits of where it was meant to be. Intense gravitational forces, zero gravitational forces, star-level plasma blazes, decompression, toxic atmospheres, vacuums that suck the life out of everything that dares to enter... The list goes on.

And yet they do it anyway. They can’t get enough.

Gale knows John won’t regret this mission, no matter how much it hurts. It’s who he is. Who they both are.

“What are John’s vitals?” Gale asks, forcing his voice to stay measured. It’s only the second time he’s asked since they began re-entry over six minutes ago, and he feels like he deserves an award for that. He’s been standing here, jaw clenched, trying desperately not to request an update every thirty seconds. Gale may be a husband, but he’s also a flight controller, and there’s four astronauts on this spacecraft, not just one. He tries to convince himself that if something went wrong, Dr. Huston would inform the room immediately. If Bucky’s heart gave out, if his lungs stopped working, if his brain shut down…

Bucky passed out before the blackout ended due to the force of 7 Gs on his body, something he could ordinarily handle with no more than a little discomfort and a wild, daring grin on his face that just begs the universe to throw something more challenging at him. Here they are, talking about the man that passed fitness tests and astronaut candidate training with flying colors. The man who would laugh while his simulators spun out of control before getting down to business to stop the roll. The man who thinks the reduced-gravity aircraft they use to simulate weightless environments – lovingly nicknamed the vomit comet due to its pension for making passengers sick to their stomachs – is nothing more than a time-of-your-life carnival ride. Bucky would take that ride over and over if he could, playing weightless volleyball with Gale and Curt every time they reached the zero-G point of their parabolic flight path. 

No big deal. None of it.

And now he’s passed out because he can’t even handle 7 Gs with no rotation at all. And Gale is sitting here, wondering if he’ll survive it. 

“Heart rate is elevated,” Dr. Huston replies. “Blood pressure… elevated. Temperature high. Respiration rate is a bit low.”

“How elevated and how low?” Gale all but growls.  He glances back at Dr. Huston to gauge his level of concern.

Dr. Huston meets his gaze, his stare hard, giving away nothing. “As long as it stays where it is, he’ll be alright, Gale.” It’s not an answer, but it’ll have to do.

Just keep breathing, darling. 

Curt: “Approaching 30k.”

Alex: “ELS Logic. ELS Auto… stand by.”

Orion’s Earth Landing System, activated at 30,000 feet above the surface, will pop the forward heat shield and automatically deploy the drogue chutes and main chutes to decelerate the capsule at predetermined intervals. Generally speaking, this prevents the capsule from smacking into the Pacific at Mach 1 and flattening the crew like a pancake. Gale holds his breath as he waits for confirmation that ELS is functional.

Curt: “Goodbye heat shield.”

Rosie: “There go the drogues!”

At seven minutes and 46 seconds after re-entry, Croz reports, “Drogue chutes deployed.” Gale forces himself to take a breath.

On the screen at the front of Mission Control, their first visual of the capsule pops onto the screen. Orion, its scorched heat shield having been jettisoned into the waters of the Pacific, falls through the dawn at 300 miles per hour, 25,000 feet in the air, slowing down with every millisecond that passes.

Gale: “We got you on TV, boys.”

Curt: “We’ll give you a good show.”

Croz reports that the main chutes have deployed.

Curt: “There’s the mains.”

Rosie: “Felt that one for sure.”

On screen, three red and white parachutes blossom up from the capsule. Each 265 feet long, 116 feet in diameter. They’ll reduce Orion’s speed to just about 25 miles per hour.

As Curt and Alex run through their final command module checklist, turning off propellant and getting the capsule ready to power down once they land, the recovery teams start reporting visual on Orion. The helicopter that will lift the crew from the water, the sniffer boats that will conduct hazard checks before egress, the swimmers that will assist with egress, and finally the Navy LPD ship that will retrieve the Orion capsule and house the crew temporarily.

USS Portland: “Artemis 3, this is Portland, we have visual.”

Alex: “3200… 2800.”

Rosie: “Looks like we could just land right on them the way we’re comin’ down.”

Curt: “Hear that? We’re comin’ for you, Portland.”

USS Portland: “Copy, Artemis 3. I think you’re gonna miss, though.”

Curt: “We’re a good couple miles off target… Marco.”

USS Portland: “Polo?”

Alex: “Fuckin’ helicopter out the window.”

Curt: “Nice to not be the only ones flyin’.”

Gale watches the capsule descend towards the ocean, closer and closer and closer. He knows the whole world is watching, waiting, willing the crew to land safely in the water. America holds its breath for Major John Egan.

—

The capsule hits the water of the Pacific at 17 miles per hour, splashing into the waves about 2 miles off target, 500 nautical miles off the American coast. The oranges and pinks of the sunrise reflect off the battered exterior of Orion as the self-righting flotation system inflates, keeping the craft upright. 

“I’ve always wanted to swim in the middle of the goddamn Pacific,” Curt says as he flips up the retractable visor on his helmet. 

“Don’t think you’ll be doing much swimming,” Alex tells him as he stretches his arms forward. He feels weak, a little unsteady as they rock with the waves. “That sure is some gravity, there.”

Rosie reaches over to flip up Bucky’s visor. “John, can you hear me? Bucky?”

Bucky mumbles something unintelligible, but his eyes open, wet and glassy. “Fuck.” He groans and reaches towards his broken leg, hand pressed against his knee. “Fuucckkkk.”

“Glowing reviews about planet Earth,” Curt teases, and Bucky sticks his tongue out as he closes his eyes again and tries to stop everything from twisting in funny directions around him. 

“Artemis 3, recovery’s got eyes on you.” The voice of the recovery team lead crackles over the coms. “Swimmers deployed at main chute two… second and third teams deployed.”

Curt: “Roger, recovery. We’re just here enjoying the view.”

Bucky: “Just fuckin’ water.”

Alex: “That is what an ocean is made of, Bucky.”

Bucky: “Fuck off.” He chokes on a breath that doesn’t quite want to make it to his lungs, and he winces as his ears ring and his whole body protests the way the atmosphere presses down on all sides. His heart still feels funny. “Gale?”

Gale: “I’m here, sweetheart.”

Bucky doesn’t say anything else. He just needs to know his husband is there. 

Curt: “Powering down now.” Curt shuts down the Orion capsule.

USS Portland: “Artemis 3, this is Portland requesting astronaut condition, over.”

Rosie: “We got three of us in good condition, ridin’ the waves. Major Egan is… awake. Runnin’ real hot, in and out of consciousness but seems coherent if his sass is anything to go by. Can’t be too sure what this did for the TBI, and with the tibial fracture… Have you been briefed, Portland?”

USS Portland: “Roger. We’re ready for him here.”

Bucky: “Get me back up there. Gravity sucks.”

Rosie: “No way cowboy. We’re gonna get you on that ship, then straight to a hospital.”

Bucky: “No.”

Rosie: “Yes.”

Bucky: “No.”

Gale: “Yes.”

Bucky: “...no.”

Recovery: “Waves are 12 knots, sea swell running about 3 feet. Orion is riding nicely. Artemis 3, we’ll conduct our hazard checks and get you secure, shouldn’t be long before egress.” 

The crew waits for 40 minutes, bobbing in the waves as small sniffer vessels deliver a team of navy divers to the capsule. They check the air and water for any leaking ammonia or hypergolic gases, fatal if consumed and yet critical components for capsule functionality. Once the area is determined to be safe, one of the divers climbs up the side of Orion. He knocks on the window to let the crew know he’s there, and Curt smiles and waves back, giving a thumbs up. The diver returns the thumbs up and goes about his work attaching cables to the spacecraft. 

Once the capsule is secure in the water, ready to be towed into the Portland’s well deck, the diver leaps off the top of Orion, splashing into the water before climbing aboard one of the small boats. Another team of divers finishes deploying life rafts alongside the capsule as a helicopter hovers overhead, ready to receive the crew and transport them to the Portland. 

When the hatch opens, the crew breathes in fresh air for the first time in three weeks, the smell of salt and sky. Bucky smiles as the breeze drifts into the crew cabin, and Rosie laughs, shaking him by the shoulder. “What d’ya think of that, commander?”

“Nothin’ but blue skies…”

Rosie hums the tune of Blue Skies for him while Alex and Curt egress, the Navy divers dragging them out through the hatch and onto the orange life raft bobbing alongside Orion. They grin up at the cloudless sky above, letting the rising sun hit their faces. From inside Orion, Rosie helps Bucky maneuver to the hatch. All of them are a bit weak after three weeks in space, but Bucky had little strength even in zero gravity. He winces at the pain in his leg and his head, but manages to grab weakly onto the diver who has crawled half inside to help Rosie guide the commander out of the module.

The diver settles him in the middle of the raft. “How are you holding up?”

“Like shit,” Bucky groans, but he says it with a smile on his face as he feels the warmth of the world, the sway of the waves. The diver pats him on the shoulder before he helps Rosie out of the craft.

Rosie: “Recovery, Artemis 3 is going off coms. Houston, see you soon.”

Recovery: “Recovery, roger.”

Gale: “Copy, Rosie. See you on the other side. John… behave. I’ll see you soon.”

Rosie egresses the capsule, and he grins at the sky along with the others as the diver helps him onto the raft. He crawls over beside Bucky, whose eyes are blinking slowly against the bright sun climbing higher above the horizon. Rosie settles next to him as Curt crawls back over to the edge of the raft to ensure the hatch is closed. “Lieutenant Biddick is ensuring the Orion hatch is fully closed,” he hears one of the divers say.

“Here’s what’s gonna happen, Bucky,” Rosie says. “Curt and Alex are gonna head up first. Then I’m gonna send you up. A recovery team member is gonna come down to make sure you’re alright in the net, and they’re gonna lift you up into the chopper. I’ll come up after you. Sound okay?”

“Don’t feel great,” Bucky says. His eyes drift away, towards the edge of the raft that’s bobbing up and down with the sea swell.

“I know. Look at me, lookin’ down there’s gonna make it worse.” Rosie reaches into Bucky’s open helmet to tap him on the cheek, getting his focus back on him. “We’re gonna get you on the ship, and they’re gonna take care of you. All the fluids and meds you need. It’ll feel like you’re floatin’ on a goddamn cloud.”

Bucky nods and attempts a smile, but it falters as nausea rolls through him and his vision fades in and out.

The recovery net drops out of the helo, and the divers help Curt climb in. He sticks his tongue out and waves as he’s lifted out of the raft, and all three other astronauts stick their tongues out back. Curt looks to the sky, holding his arms out to the sides as he ascends towards the recovery chopper. Then they send the net back down for Alex.

The recovery team and the crew of the Portland ran a just-in-time training a few days ago, when Navy crews were officially assigned to the Artemis 3 recovery. Using an Orion mock-up and a stand-in Artemis crew, they ran through the crew recovery protocols in order to simulate the end of the mission. They practiced a couple different methods of pulling Bucky up into the helo, unsure of what his condition would be and whether or not he’d be conscious. With the commander awake and in considerable discomfort, they do just as Rosie said they would: they send the rescue net down with a recovery team member, who ensures he’s secured in the net. 

“Not gonna lie,” he tells Bucky. “This is probably gonna suck for you.”

Bucky gives a sort of thumbs up that only makes it halfway, and he nods. He bites back a scream as the divers lift him into the net, trying – and failing – to position his leg in a way that won’t hurt like a bitch. The recovery team member keeps one hand on Bucky’s shoulder the whole way up to the chopper, making sure he stays steady.

The world falls away below as they’re raised into the air, and the clouds spin as the sun shines into Bucky’s eyes. He breathes deeply, feeling that salt water air that he missed so much fill his sore lungs, and he wills the nausea to go away (it doesn’t). When they pull him inside the helo, he hears voices talking to him. He manages a smile and another thumbs up, and then he’s out.

—

Much of the country is currently watching the same exact video feed that Mission Control has displayed on the screen in the front of the room. There hasn’t been so much public interest in a crew recovery since Apollo 13, but there’s something about a risk of fatality that makes people invested, pulls people together to hope and pray for a man that many are calling a national hero.

They all watch with bated breath as the crew is pulled out of the hatch; they watch Rosie speaking to Bucky; they watch them all stick their tongues out at each other; they watch Bucky, mostly limp and dazed, get loaded into the recovery net. They see him wince in pain. They see him look to the sky, watch his eyes close. Marge, as public affairs officer, narrates what’s happening for the public to understand.

“Lieutenant Curtis Biddick is the first astronaut inside the Recovery… Astronaut Alexander Jefferson is being hoisted into the Recovery… A recovery team member is ascending with Major John Egan to ensure his safety… Major Egan is unconscious, but appears stable…”

Gale watches the same feed as he stands beside Croz, one hand on his hip and the other over his mouth. Croz puts a hand on his shoulder. With Artemis 3 off coms, there’s nothing to do for Mission Control but wait for confirmation that all astronauts are aboard the helo, then that they’re aboard the Portland.

Recovery: “Major Egan is safely aboard Recovery.”

When the announcement comes, the entire room cheers – the entire country. It’s another milestone that marks John’s long journey home.

Gale feels his legs give out as he collapses into the CAPCOM chair. He rubs a hand through his hair, already a mess even though it’s still early in the morning. Croz pats him on the shoulder, and Gale would be smiling if he wasn’t just so damn relieved.

—

The Navy doctors pull Bucky into the Portland’s med bay, which is far larger and far better equipped than the one on Starship or Orion. They try to talk to him, try to ask how he’s feeling, but he can hardly even keep his eyes open. He drifts in and out, people swirling around him in a blur. He groans and winces when anyone does anything that causes pain, be it touching his leg or speaking too loud or generally existing beside him. He throws up over the side of the stretcher they have him on. He weakly tries to fight someone who tries to touch his head. 

They stick another needle in his arm, making him squirm away in protest. And he passes out again.

It will take the USS Portland a good day and a half to cross the 500 nautical miles of Pacific Ocean between Orion’s landing zone and Naval Base San Diego. Curt, Rosie, and Alex are comfortably walking around within a couple hours of being wheeled into the med bay and undergoing initial medical examinations. They spend most of their time on the ship chatting with the recovery team and making friends with the Navy crew aboard the vessel.

Curt – an Air Force pilot – and the Navy guys give each other shit all day, throwing insults back and forth like they’re long lost siblings with a life-long rivalry. The astronauts pose for pictures and regale everyone with stories about the moon and traveling through outer space, some a little embellished, though most don’t need embellishing at all. They play cards and engage in a fan-favorite practice of trading NASA and Navy gear, challenge coins, and patches.

The three astronauts spend a lot of time sitting beside Bucky’s bed. He’s receiving an appropriate amount of IV fluid now with a high dose of some strong drugs that they hope will reduce the pain and, if they’re lucky, the fever. He opens his eyes here and there, expresses discomfort or confusion or simply looks around or stares at the ceiling, never really seeming present. The doctors tell them that it’s likely he’ll be out for most of the trip. But, never one to miss out on the fun, Bucky fully wakes up early the next morning, about 8 hours from the shore.

The doctor keeps telling the other astronauts to be quiet and quit disturbing “Major Egan,” but they don’t listen. It’s Curt’s laughter that Bucky wakes up to, blinking tiredly and tilting his head to follow the familiar sound.

“Hey, astrofag!” Curt exclaims when he sees Bucky’s eyes on him. Bucky sticks his tongue out and raises a weak but no longer shaking hand to flip him off. He manages to get his other fingers most of the way down, middle finger out straight, to get the point across.

His cheeks are flushed, and he’s still sweaty, his body tensing with chills, but he tries his best to grin at them. “What’d I miss?”

Over the next hour or so, a stream of Navy sailors stop by to visit Bucky as he sits up in his med bay bed, supported by Rosie on one side and Curt on the other. He’d protested at first, but both astronauts pulled away to let him support himself, proving a point, and he immediately felt dizzy again. So he reluctantly accepts the help.

He listens as the sailors chat with him and gives fist bumps and gentle high fives. He banters back and forth with them as much as his muddled brain and scratchy throat can allow. 

“You might’ve fared better if you were in the Navy instead of the goddamn Air Force,” one guy quips.

Bucky laughs and flips him off in the same half-accomplished way he did to Curt. “The goddamn Air Force got me to the moon.”

The picture that gets sent to Houston that morning – the picture that will show up in the news and on social media within the day – is one of all four astronauts dressed in blue NASA flight suits, Bucky in the middle, looking sick but ecstatic, with Navy officers gathered around the bedside. They’re all beaming at the camera – crew secure, Major Egan safe, a time for celebration.

It’s officially Thanksgiving in America.

—

November 27

While most Americans spent Thanksgiving watching parades and football, eating turkey and pumpkin pie and spending time with family, the Artemis 3 crew spent half the day on the USS Portland in the middle of the Pacific. They celebrated with their new Navy friends, eating surprisingly good turkey and pie of their own at lunch time, before arriving in San Diego. John managed a bite of pumpkin pie, but otherwise stuck with soup.

At the naval base, the astronauts were loaded onto another helicopter and taken ashore. From there, Alex and Curt boarded a NASA GV to fly back to Ellington Air Force Base in Houston, where they’ll be welcomed home by their families and housed at JSC for the night so they can undergo further medical evaluations and meet with the Mission Control team the next day. Bucky was boarded onto a medical transport plane, Rosie at his side, and taken straight to the hospital, as Rosie promised. Bucky, for better or worse, is unconscious for much of this process, saving everyone the grief of him complaining about going to the hospital.

Dr. Huston meets them there, and he and Rosie discuss Bucky’s condition with the doctors and nurses, who whisk the Artemis 3 commander away for tests and treatment.

Gale forgets that it’s Thanksgiving until he turns on the news late in the morning – his first morning not working a Mission Control shift in nearly a month – and sees the Macy’s Day Parade on the screen instead of a news story about Artemis 3. He doesn’t know if it’s a relief, or if it makes everything feel worse. He’s thankful as hell, don’t get him wrong. John is back on the same planet, safe, on his way to Houston for evaluation and treatment. And yet so much still seems unsure. So much is unsteady. Like he’s teetering on the edge of a cliff and could be pushed either way depending on the direction of the breeze.

He didn’t sleep last night any better than he did any other night. His hands shake as he drinks his coffee – out of a ceramic mug that reads “World’s Best Astronaut” instead of out of a cheap paper cup. His breathing comes in unreliable bursts. He feels edgy and jumpy and nervous. Dark circles rest beneath his eyes and his hair is a disaster. He shrinks into the Yankees sweatshirt and tries to convince Pepper to eat even though she won’t give him more than a few bites. 

He turns off the TV. He can’t stand the good mood of New York City and parade floats and giant balloons making their way down a crowded street. 

Instead, he, Marge, and Benny go on a walk with the dogs. They stare at the sparkling water of the bay and Marge holds his hand and they all quietly think about everything that happened in the past few weeks. Gale tries not to cry. He lowers himself to the ground, sitting on the boardwalk, and he lets his feet dangle above the water. Pepper and Meatball sit beside him, Marge and Benny at the ends. 

It’s been 21 days since the SLS rose off pad 39B on Cape Canaveral, forging Artemis 3’s path to the stars above. It was a perfect launch. But even then Gale knew, there’s no such thing as a perfect mission.

It’s been 36 days since Gale last held his husband’s hand. That day back in October, when they were just newlyweds saying goodbye, ready for the adventure of a lifetime. 

864 hours. 51,840 minutes. Over 3 million seconds. Not a single one of those numbers feels like enough.

What’s just a few more hours?

Some of the flight controllers gather at Croz’s house for Thanksgiving, a late lunch or early dinner, no one knows. But it’s complete with turkey and mashed potatoes and stuffing and pie. Gale keeps losing himself among the chatter of his friends, pushing his food absently around his plate. At some point, Jean leans into his space and says “Honey, I know you’re not pushing that food around cause it’s not good. Eat up.”

Gale blushes and says “Sorry ma’am,” before shoving a bite of stuffing into his mouth. He doesn’t finish the plate, but Jean pats him on the shoulder and takes it away so he doesn’t have to look at it anymore. He does happily accept a small piece of pie and a cup of coffee while everyone sits around, talking and laughing and trying to heal, all while avoiding the elephant in the room.

They wait anxiously for news. They wait for the Portland to reach the naval base. They wait to hear that the crew is safely on their way home. They wonder what kind of shape John is in.

When Gale’s phone buzzes in his pocket, he pulls it out and immediately covers his mouth with his hand. A photograph – Bucky, awake and sitting up in the Portland’s med bay. He’s surrounded by his crew and the Portland sailors, and despite the paleness of his skin and the sweat matting his hair and the red tinting his cheeks, the grin on his face is so quintessentially him that Gale nearly gasps when he sees it. Bucky Egan: wild child. 

Gale passes the photo around, and Croz raises his mug of coffee in toast, in thanks, to Major John Egan. American hero.

—

By the time Gale is finally allowed to see his husband, it’s been almost two days since Orion splashed down in the Pacific. 40 hours. 2,400 minutes. 

150,000 heartbeats.

Bucky’s heart is still beating. Gale tries to remember that.

He arrives at the hospital at 8pm, his hands shaking so bad he can barely pull out his ID as he tries to explain to the front desk that he’s Major Egan’s husband. Marge comes running up behind him as the nurse explains that John is still being examined. 

“W-When can I see him?” Gale tries to ask, but he isn’t sure that the words come off his tongue right.

The nurse takes pity on him and makes the effort to find out John’s exact status while Marge leads Gale over to a chair. She gets him sitting down, tries to tell him to breathe, but he’s back on his feet before she can even get the words out. He doesn’t pace. Just stands there, eyes darting around the waiting room, running his thumb across his wedding band over and over and over.

It’s another three hours before the nurse – who has very patiently answered Gale’s periodic requests for updates – informs him that Bucky has finally been set up and settled into a room. A doctor comes out to see him, and she explains that there is still inflammation in Bucky’s brain. They’re hopeful that it will continue to heal over the coming days and weeks with the right rest and treatment.

The gash on the back of his head has become infected, but they aren’t overly concerned about it right now, treating it with antibiotics. His leg was adequately set – kudos to Lieutenant Biddick – but became slightly displaced again during re-entry, requiring them to set it again. They can’t be sure about the cause of the fever, which isn’t responding to medication but doesn’t quite align with criteria for neurogenic fever, particularly since neurogenic fever doesn’t usually cause sweating. They’re trying him on drugs cited as showing success in treating neurogenic fever anyway, and they are working to keep his temperature down manually. On the other hand, the shivering he’s been experiencing can increase intracranial pressure, and they’re working to reduce chills through medication and warming of Bucky’s hands and feet.

Gale can’t help but find that last part a little funny, considering Bucky is always complaining that Gale’s hands and feet are too cold.

Lastly, the nurse tells Gale what he’s so used to hearing in recent days: Bucky is currently asleep; he’s been in and out of consciousness all day; he at times seems confused and agitated; the first thing out of his mouth when he woke up in the hospital, other than the word fuck, was Gale’s name.

Gale’s head is spinning as he’s led down the white, sterile hospital halls. He hopes Marge thought to write all that down or remember it because there’s no way he’s going to. She’s going home for the night, though. Said she’d be back in the morning. And for the first time in days, Gale is left alone to remember how to breathe on his own. He presses his wedding ring to his lips and doesn’t even care how wrecked and exhausted and terrified he looks, because he’s about to see his husband and his heart doesn’t understand what it’s supposed to do anymore. It beats too fast, and he doesn’t even know if it’s out of anxiety or relief or fear or love or excitement or need or simply a pulse of the universe alerting him that his other half is just on the other side of this door, waiting for him.

The nurse holds the door open for Gale and he trails in behind her. She tells him that the couch beside the bed is all set up for him, and insists that he let her know if he needs anything, but he can barely even nod because everything he needs is right there, laying on a hospital bed.

Bucky lays propped up on the bed, his broken leg raised and freshly adorned in a light blue cast from knee to foot. His head is wrapped in white gauze, his curls tucked away beneath it. A cooling blanket rests over top of his still body in an effort to cool him down, and different sensors are attached to all different parts of his body, connecting him to machines that read out his vitals. They reassure Gale that Bucky is alive, lungs breathing, heart beating, blood pumping. An IV is sticking out of his forearm, held in place with excessive amounts of tape, no doubt at Rosie’s prodding. Beary Egan is tucked against his side, having been retrieved from Orion after the capsule was towed aboard the Portland.

Gale can’t even move at first. All he can do is stare at this man, sick and broken but by far the strongest and most beautiful person he has ever seen. He wonders if this is real, if he’s actually standing here, staring at his husband. He waits for some cruel figment to pop out and tell him it’s all a sick joke or a hallucination or a dream, that Major John Egan actually died next to Shackleton Crater, crushed beneath a moon rover.

But it doesn’t come. 

The room is dim, the world dark outside the window. It’s quiet but for the beeping of the machines proving every second that Bucky is alive. Gale runs a hand through his hair before pressing his fingers to his lips, holding his breath so he doesn’t break down at the foot of the bed. 

He doesn’t really comprehend that he’s doing it, but he’s suddenly putting one tentative foot in front of the other, walking around the bed to Bucky’s side. He worries his heart might beat right out of chest. It jumps as he gently takes Bucky’s hand in his, feels the warmth of his skin. He stares down at their fingers, trying to remember what it felt like the last time he held this hand in his. Trying to remember what they said, the look in John’s eyes, the exact expression on his face.

He kneels on the hard floor for a hell of a long time, wordless and still. He thinks about the better days they spent before quarantine, that chaotic but rose-colored time when they were not only newlyweds, but also astronauts on the cusp of something unimaginable. He thinks about Bucky wrapping him in his arms. Kisses in the darkness of their bedroom. Their hands finding one another, holding tight just to feel the closeness, the care. He thinks about late nights and early mornings. Shared cups of coffee and exhausted hugs. Certainly not for the first time, he thinks about their wedding.

He fiddles with Bucky’s fingers in the same way Bucky so often does to him, and he sings softly, pushing past the gravelly emotion coating his throat and the tears welling up in his eyes. Their song. Their first dance. “Wise men say, only fools rush in. But I can’t help, falling in love with you.”

Bucky always tells Gale that he has a beautiful singing voice, begging to hear more of it. It makes Gale blush and hide away, but now he thinks about the way Bucky watches him when he sings, like he’s the most beautiful work of art he’s ever seen.

He’s finishing the song, staring down at Bucky’s hand in his, when he hears it.

“Hey, angel.”

Gale’s focus shoots to Bucky’s face so fast it makes his vision blur. Bright blue eyes are staring right at him, and Gale wonders how long they’ve been open. The corner of Bucky’s mouth is quirked up in the smallest, tiredest smile. His eyes are glassy with fever, but they’re locked onto Gale with a fierceness that he didn’t expect to find.

“I love when you sing,” Bucky says weakly. But Gale has suddenly forgotten every word.

He falls into that gaze, feels the universe spinning around him, weaving back together, becoming whole once again. He squeezes Bucky’s hand and can’t even speak because those eyes are on him and all the emotions he tries so hard not to feel crash into him all over again.

John is here, in Houston, where Gale can touch him and hold him and never let him go. The love of Gale’s life. The other half of his soul. His reason for existing on the surface of this planet. He’s right here. He’s alive. He’s breathing. He’s looking at Gale with those damn blue eyes like he doesn’t know which of them went through hell but it doesn’t fucking matter because he’s here.

He’s… 

God, he’s everything.

He’s the beating of Gale’s heart. He’s the breath in his lungs. He’s the tides rolling in and the stars in the sky, the gravity that keeps the world turning on its axis. 

He’s the heavens and the earth and the depths of the sea. He’s the entire universe, settled into stardust, at the center of a single, beautiful soul.

And Gale can do nothing but press his forehead to Bucky’s hand, both of them trembling. He squeezes his eyes shut even though he doesn’t want to take his eyes off his husband, and he feels the tears drip off his nose, stream down his cheeks. When he looks up, Bucky is still watching him, and Gale can’t figure out the look on his face. A face that he can usually read like a book.

Pain and joy and longing. A pressing need to fix whatever is making Gale cry even though Bucky’s the one in a hospital bed. 

“It’s okay,” Bucky whispers.

Gale laughs wetly, and he reaches his free hand up to cup Bucky’s cheek. “You scared me to death, John.”

Bucky blinks slowly back at him, the smile widening before it falters again. “I’m the one who almost died,” he mumbles.

Gale recognizes it for the joke that it is, but it makes the breath catch in his tight throat, and he closes his eyes again, causing more tears to fall, splashing onto Bucky’s wrist. He bows his head, holding tight to Bucky’s hand. After a moment, he feels shaking fingers stroking his hair back away from his forehead, and it makes him hiccup softly, like every touch from John is a bolt of electricity that shocks his system into reassembling itself from the pieces left in Artemis 3’s wake.

“Don’t cry, angel,” Bucky says, letting his hand rest against the side of Gale’s head. They’re the same words that Gale imagined days ago, when Bucky was still comatose on the moon. The words that kept Gale going when he had no idea if he could. Spoken aloud in that warm, perfect voice that he was terrified he’d never hear again. It’s the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard. 

Don’t cry, angel. “Just breathe.”

…

…

Part 17

[therealslimshakespeare]

do you have any sneak peeks for the next chapter of dear john you would want to share with us? i’m so excited every time i get a notification you posted i hope it’s an update on the series lol <3

Oh my sweetheart, you’re so lovely and kind, thank you for your patience, of course you can have a widdle sneak peak—

Dear John Sneak Peak

“Yeah,” Rosie added, “What kinda war you been runnin’ anyway?”

Gale laughed off their backslapping greetings before suddenly recollecting, “Oh, right I forget. Ladies?” and turned back to offer his arms for Marge to take and he swung her gently to the ground.

“Boys, this is Marge.”

“Of course it is.” Harry admired with a hand outstretched to shake hers before he peered up into the plane, not being disappointed when he caught sight of a pair of ever so delicate ankles. “Holy mackerel, it is Bucky’s girl.” he blurted loudly as Lana’s angelic face peered back at him, as pristine and fuckable as her photographs but the delectable whole of her was swathed in Egan’s goddamn sheepskin.

“Aren’t you pretty.” Julie Jean admired Crosby right back, liking him immensely already for the fact he recognized her as Bucky’s girl. “Are you also strong?”

“I- I mean, sorta, not as much as-“ Harry stammered before realizing her meaning and so stretched out his arms to be of use, “allow me, Miss Tierney.” he helped her to the ground with a swing that was perhaps the most graceful of his life, gods be good. She was holding a little white bunny and Harry was instantly charmed.

“Thank you.” she kissed his flaming cheek.

“Who’s this?” Harry pet back the floppy ears, if only to have something to do besides gawk, he knew he needed to not gawk at Johnny Egan’s girl in Johnny Egan’s coat even if the girl in the coat was about as mouthwateringly perfect as—

“This,” Julie proclaimed with all the pride of a mother, “is Spangles.”

“You guys weren’t joking when you said Major Egan was pen pals with Lana Tierney?” Rosenthal shot Cleven a bewildered look.

“No, we weren’t.” Gale agreed.

[endy2eepy]

Agere Headcanons 🌙

Under the cut are my head cannons from some fandoms I'm in!

I'll update as I come up with more

Please note before reading: some of the media these characters are from are

A problematic (and I don't support the creators),

B not appropriate for all ages (please be cautious when consuming any new media I'm a regressed headspace. much of this is stuff I wouldn't consume in my headspace, only outside of it- but would still consume agere related content of)

Dream SMP

✨ C!Tommy - Baby/toddler regressor

his discs are a comfort item

✨ Ghostbur - Baby/toddler regressor

✨ C!Aimsey and C!Slimesicle - Kiddo regressors

✨ C!Ranboo - Flip (Toddler regressor and Tommys' CG)

✨ C!Techno blade - Flip (Baby and young teen regressor, but also has babysat Tommy and Ghostbur)

✨ C!Tubbo and C!Philza - Caregivers (for Ranboo and Techno respectively)

Boyfriends WEBTOON

✨ Nerd - Baby/toddler regressor

✨ Goth - Flip (young teen regressor and CG)

✨ Prep - Flip (CG and occasional kiddo regressor)

Heartstopper

✨ Charlie - Many ages regressor

✨ Nick - Charlie’s CG

✨ Darcy - Kiddo regressor

✨ Tara - Toddler regressor

✨ Elle - Tara & Darcy’s CG

She also babysits Charlie sometimes when Nick can't be there for him

✨ Tao - Not a regressor or caregiver but plays with the littles so Elle will "take care" of him too cause he's an attention thief lol

✨ Tori - Doesn't really have a caregiver headspace, but Charlie's her brother and she loves him so obviously if he needs someone to take care of him she's gonna be there for him

usually she's just there for him by calling Nick or Elle, but still

She does have lots of his coloring pages and doodles hung in her room though

Angel Hare

✨ Angel Gabby is a CG obviously

That's not a head cannon that's her entire purpose in the series but I just wanna mention how much I love Angel Hare and how there's not enough regression content around it (or fan content in general)

Hazbin Hotel

✨ Angel Dust - Flip (Many ages regressor and caregiver)

he has a really bad habit of pulling himself out of littlespace and into caregiver mode if anyone is small and unwatched, even if he really needs to regress himself

but with the abundance of cgs and babysitters in the hotel they're mostly able to keep him from doing that when he needs the baby time himself

✨ Husk - Angel's CG

he's new to it and doesn't fully understand but as long as Angel's happy he's happy

✨ Charlie - Flip (Toddler regressor and babysitter)

✨ Vaggie - Flip (Charlie's GC and teen regressor)

✨ Pentious - Kiddo/Toddler regressor

✨ Niffty - Kiddo regressor

✨ Alastor - Babysitter

he doesn't think he's very good at it even though he is

so if someone slips around him he'll baby them but also run to go get their CG or Rosie if either is available because he doesn't think he can take care of them good enough

the littles (especially niff) all like when al takes care of them but he doesn't really believe that

✨ Rosie - Babysitter (? she's a cg for sure but she doesn't have one specific little so I think that makes her a babysitter???)

✨ Cherri - Toddler/Kiddo regressor

Angels sibby obviously

✨ The Vees

oh god it's so toxic it really needs its own post

I'll try to sum it up here

basically Vox has been a regressor for a long time, since before Val was even around and shortly after they started dating he explained it to him and Val was like "hey I wanna try that too!" and Vox was like "great when I'm not regressed I can be your caregiver" but Val started expecting Vox to be big for him all the time and Vox doesn't ever get a chance to regress when Vals around

Even if Val isn't regressed he still reprimands Vox for regressing even though he pretended to be accepting at first and even tried it for himself

Vel babies Vox when Val isn't around but that's not often

Can you tell this HC is a vent? about a real life relationship I was in? and then another real life relationship I was in?

OMORI

✨ Basil - All ages regressor

He's also autistic but that's not what this post is about

✨ Sunny - Caregiver

"(2/18 MY BIRTHDAY): SUNNY playing a video game on the couch. SUNNY is a little shy, but he's a really good listener. I always end up venting to him when I get upset or stressed. Sometimes I feel like I'm bothering him, but he never seems to mind." -Basil's photo album

✨ I think Aubrey regresses but I'm not sure what age

✨ Kel might too but idk he's kinda just like that

✨ Hero - Babysitter

Dead Poets Society (these are old and I don't remember why I thought them or know how much I still agree tbh)

✨ Todd & Charlie - Littles

✨ Meeks & Pitts - Flips

✨ Neil - Caregiver

DHMIS (these are old and I don't remember why I thought them or know how much I still agree tbh)

Yellow Guy - Little

Red Guy - Caregiver

Centaur World (these are old and I don't remember why I thought them or know how much I still agree tbh)

Horse & Gebbrey - Littles

Wammawink & Glendale - Flips

the old ones don't have ages cause I didn't think about it that much back then leave me alone okay 😭

[pageofheartdj]

Lucifer would for SURE have that insecurity. Pulling away? Not wanting to make the first step towards communication? Feeling out of place and like he doesn't belong? I bet the other's would catch on and they'd all develop their own approaches into encouraging Lucifer out of his depression cave, so to speak.

Alastor would probably annoy him out of it but if that didn't work would probably ask Rosie or Lilith for help? He's got a reputation as the Unflappable Radio Demon to uphold (headcanon: Alastor is awkward with emotions and doesn't quite know what to do so he sorta.. either doesn't say anything when he has to deal with emotions with others or is snarky because he at least knows how to do that. He develops his own way of showing appreciation and comfort though)

Alastor and Rosie ABSOLUTELY would have gossip sessions. Lilith might join in just to hear the updates about some big drama (ugh Susan) and offer tea and biscuits or something? Lucifer popping in with a snarky comment but wanting to just sit back and enjoy their company is sweet!

I could see Rosie's insecurity maybe coming from wanting to help everyone and feeling sorta guilty that she isn't in cannibal town there to help 24/8? Like, she might get worried that she'll miss something or something could happen to the town while she's gone?

Lilith uhhh. Maybe she feels out of place? The rest either did something to piss off god (lucifer) or actively earned their spot in hell, meanwhile she just.. didn't want to be a servant to an asshole of a man. Like, absolutely fair but probably doesn't feel equivalent to literally gifting humanity freewill and whatever Al and Rosie were up to. She's in between a fallen angel and human but didn't really live the life of either?

Charlie would be SO supportive and Alastor would take such joy in flexing that he has some of/literally the most powerful demons on "his side" (they love him despite being showy sometimes).

Maybe there'd be some tension between Luficer and Alastor because Al is more like the stereotypical devil than Lucifer is?

They're all so silly and quirky and have such potential xD honestly relationship goals tho? In a polycule (queer platonic, in my case) where everyone can get along in different ways and support each other and be comfortable being themselves?? Goals xD

Yeah the feeling of shame and guilt will keep appearing and therefore 'who would want to someone like him, cant even create anymore' TT

Oh I absolutely believe being geniunely open and vulnerable is extremely hard to Alastor! His smiles and sharp behaviour is not just a mask but a protective comfortable layer! And even if he tries to be more close it's still the default that is hard to pass by. I believe he can muster something actually real if the other person will be so crushed they aren't reacting to anything else anymore!!

Honestly Rosie and Alastor are a nice tag team xD He deals with the depressed king when he is too inside of his head, he can be manhandled by Alastor xD And when he is actually responsive, Rosie can step in and gently reassure him. And Lilith will give this 'do you love us? respect us? we would never stay with someone we dont care about and you know it'. This harsh love xD

I really like how in terms of dealing with stress and trauma Alastor pushes forward and Lucifer pulls away😭

I've read Rosie likes cooking! Like Al!! Imagine them preparing food for private lunches! I hc Lucifer is a decent cook, but there is not point in trying when these two are amazing XD And Lilith can watch over and make sure they aren't slipping something more fleshy XD So in the end they just sit there and Rosie gives all the hot goss with Alastor and Lilith joining in and Lucifer chilling while following their conversations and occasionally commenting <3

OH she might! She is very envolved with her community and she probably takes to heart when she fails someone while she expected not to! I LOVE characters that put too much on their shoulders!!(she is just like Charlie fr fr)

I don't know with Lilith. It seems she got all she wanted: got away from Adam, got an awesome new home where she 'thrived'. I do wonder if she is... vengeful? SHE got it all good, but her husband was crushed and he never properly recovered. She might be furious with Heaven for this. And for exterminations.

Oh Alastor is truly an attention seeker, he would always flex his partners in public(but never be actually intimate with them because it is for HIM to see only!)

It may be at the beginning? But it would be fun if Lucifer will actually use Alastor's scariness xD Oh you want a scary devil? I can give you something scary xD And Alastor enjoys it, intimidating and jumping people is his favourite type of fun xD

*sigh* All their dynamics are so fun it's a treat <3 (Rosie and Lilith having ohoho mean gossip sessions with their 'pathetic' looks on others(ugh Susan), Rosie and Alastor going on hunts and cooking together, Alastor and Lucifer having improvised lighthearted musical competitions(full blown dance numbers), Lucifer and Lilith going to concerts and theatres incognito, Lilith and Alastor having violent and fun radio podcasts, Rosie and Lucifer going to hellborn balls and Cannibal Town gatherings)

(for me it's only QPR cause everyone else can mess around and I'll jump in for a short smooch and be out jkhj XD)

[katethevampire]

All right so the new episodes just came out like 20 minutes ago for me (oh yeah me from the future here it ended up taking me about 3 hours to finish watching the episodes cuz I kept pausing to write stuff in between so uh yeah lol) so everything under the cut will be my live reaction to everything. I'll add time stamps so you know where I'm at in the episodes. I can guarantee you that I will be sticking to my promise about potentially eating paper if I'm wrong about Sir Pentious not dying. Which honestly now I'm not sure if anyone will die, it was pretty much confirmed in a live stream that angel dust isn't going to be the one to die so my money is on one of the Angels. Also I'm using voice to text and while I'll try and fix any misspellings or wrong words I might miss them.

LOTS OF SWEARING PROBABLY also I very much abuse capslock

EPISODE 7

00:51- I love Sir Pentious looking at Keke I just thought I should mention that

01:03- OH MY GOD NO KEKE MOVED TO HIS LAP AND HE'S PETTING HER I LOVE HIM SM

01:10 aw Alastor was sleepy you guys woke him up!

01:22- I CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE RAZZLE AND DAZZLE BEING CUTE CHARLIE IS CRYING

01:29- he did the gay little hand thing

01:50- okay so I've already seen this part because of the small leak but I cannot get over the fact that Alastor has his shoes on the bed!! Like man take those off you're getting it dirty!!!!

01:59- mfs kicking his feet on the bed acting like a high school girl about to ask out her crush on the phone at a sleepover like dude you're a serial killer you can't do this to me 😭 also I should probably slow down cuz I'm making an update literally every 2 seconds

02:18 BROS CHECKING HIS NAILS AND DOING THAT POSE WHILE MAKING FUN OF HER ABOUT THE FACT THAT SHE UNINTENTIONALLY MIGHT HAVE CAUSED THE DEATHS OF MILLIONS 💀💀💀 so fruity i love

2:33- Alasto be like "it's called masking deary. Ever heard of it?"

2:44- if he wasn't saying this in such an evil manner right now I'd be saying he's so me frfr

3:07- what do I even say to that line. He popped off but also like respectfully I think I've heard a third grader say the exact same thing

3:53- OKAY SO I WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING BUT I'VE COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN LOOK AT THIS FRAME, this could easily be the profile picture for someone's film review channel and I'm not 100% sure that people will understand what I mean by that unless you know a very specific person

04:38- Alastor is in his hat man era

4:33- okay so a few things, thank you subtitles for telling me that the music is edgy I feel like just the word tense would have worked on its own but I appreciate it nonetheless. Number two, I don't like seeing the girlies be mad at each other :(

05:34 I will support my boy Sir Pentious through and through he did nothing wrong!!

06:54- not the voice I was expecting for Rosie but pop up Queen she speaks the truth

07:24- ROSIE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE ALASTOR. Also his confusion, I love him so much

11:04- she's kind of like that one Pokemon

Ad time!- I DON'T CARE ABOUT VITAMIN PILLS THAT DOUBLE MY LIFESPAN

11:13- catabettes! Cannibals and catabettes!!! This is going into my vocabulary from now on. Also this frame that I paused at I love her face.

11:57- ugh, susan. All my homies hate Susan

12:54- I have a dream, I'm here to cause a scandal in the cannibal square

13:37- :( well it wasn't obvious to me I just thought the x over the eye was to look cool :(

14:35- SONG FUCK YEAH

15:26 If this song came out years ago I know for a fact there would have been an undertale parody version of it. Also I just got a cosmic brownie and some chocolate milk let's go guys we're eating good tonight

16:00 HOLY FUCKING SHIT SHE CAN JUST GROW BACK HER WINGS

16:30- therapist Rosie is not something I thought I'd be seeing today but honestly I love it. Also I don't think I'm going to be able to finish these episodes today because I'm only a little over 15 minutes through and I've been watching for like almost over half an hour and also I just realized that what if Lucifer is the one that dies?

18:12 ALASTOR GAVE HER HIS MICROPHONE I'M GOING TO EXPLODE INTO A BAJILLION CRYING PIECES RAHHHHHH

19:38 I'm going crazy I'm going insane right now bro literally what how I don't know what to say I love this act I don't know, it's just really good I don't know what to say like this is cool I don't I DON'T KNOW! IT'S I I LIKE IT everybody in cannibal town is cool and I like them and it's like 10 seconds later now and they're literally So based like free food like so me I don't know I'm just rambling at this point

20:56 ALASTOR AND ROSIE'S LITTLE DANCE THEIR LITTLE TIPPY TAPS OH MY GOD YES

21:06- alastor, you know it's not right to make someone your political puppet. Your little dances are cute though so I'll allow it for now.

I don't know why it thought I was speaking Spanish for a second but anyways that episode was really cute and good and I liked it but I'm also scared for the next episode cuz like now I'm wondering is someone actually going to die or were people just lying. I feel like either Adam is going to be the one to die or it's going to be Lucifer cuz they mentioned a lot in the previous episode about how Charlie needs to take up the throne and get ready to take her place on the throne like why does she need to take her place on the throne? Isn't that her dad's job??? Please don't kill Lucifer off please please please 🙏 also I'm still not on board and probably will never will be on the whole political puppet thing. Like I just know I just have a feeling in my bones that alastor's favor is going to be something like "Let me be the ruler of hell lololol" or something anyways

EPISODE 8

01:01-Why are you watching other men get fucked?🤨 (/j)

01:19 🥺 I love 🥺 I oove him so 🥺 so much 🥺🥺🥺 does he have a spatula like spongebob

02:02- wait so how is Vox watching them like does he have bug cameras in the air like those little guys in v3 (woah now I have to put a Danganronpa spoiler on this)

03:42 SOFT ALASTOR FANFICTION WRITERS QUICK WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN!!!

04:18- I'm not even the biggest huskerdust shipper but awwwww also I don't ship him with anyone but I just want to see Sir Pentious happy pleaseeee also the little Melody of loser baby in the background

04:48- ugh I am clutching my heart right now Sir Pentious is my SON and I LOVE HIM

04:58- what the fuck that ao3 tag was canon this WHOLE TIME???? WHEN DID YOU GUYS HEAR ABOUT THIS?????

05:05- I told you angel dust wasn't going to die

05:38- it's like the song but different! Reprise it's called a reprise also is Mimzy gonna come back

07:15- Vox, you know that you guys are going to die if they lose too right?

Okay I can't timestamp this cuz I'll just be pausing every 2 seconds but just know that everything I'm saying after this is from 07:52 to whatever number I put after later right here->09:47

Okay, so this might be a weird comparison but you know like My Little pony Battle scenes? This feels like that in the very best way possible where they have the scenes with all the different characters fighting with the different music.

Oh my God yes Cherry bomb and angel dust I love them also that was a fire transition also I JUST NOTICED THAT SIR PENTIOUS HAT ALSO HAS THE EYE DOES HE JUST HAVE I HATS FOR EVERY OCCASION

Uh oh Adams angry he's going to do a my hero academia

Oh shit it actually worked that's not good.

I TOLD YOU I CALLED IT VOX IS HORNY

Oh my God that is such a cool shot guys someone should make that frame of Alastor their computer background

OH MY GOD WHOEVER ANIMATED THAT SCENE I LOVE YOU I'M LITERALLY GIVING YOU A METAPHORICAL KISS ON THE MOUTH IN THE PLATONIC SENSE ALASTOR LOOKED SO COOL

Guys I think Adam's going to die

😨 okay so Alastor's microphone just broke and I paused it to add that emoji but as I did the people I live with got home so I'm going to have to pause it for there? I'll update if I get prime working on my phone. Also isn't alastor's microphone alive? Maybe that's the character that died.

Update: all right I got it set up on my phone about 30 minutes later now we're resuming

09:47- okay so I think it's interesting that Alastor pretty much lost all his powers as soon as his microphone broke, my guess is probably that whoever has his soul (lilith, eve, or anyone else) gave the mic to him.

09:53- I like the detail that Alastor is still smiling even though he literally just got slammed against the wall, also Vox has the biggest hate boner for Alastor like

10:02- Alastor: "Have to disagree with you there, radio's not dead." Hun you are bleeding out I'm sorry but I don't think you can gaslight girlboss your way out of this one, also I'm sorry to tell you but the only thing they play on my local radio station now besides music is like, a show that's only on at like 7 in the morning where people call to complain about how their husband wraps Christmas presents

10:38- haha silly also EGGS!!

10:43- NO WAIT MY BRAIN DIDN'T REGISTER THAT THAT EGG WAS CRACKED THEY KILLED THE FUCKING EGG!!!!!! Angel, kill them.

11:12- no no no Sir Pentious you better not I don't want to eat paper

11:21- good for him

11:44- NO GOD DAMN IT PLEASE HAVE A REVEAL THAT ALASTOR OR LUCIFER OR SOMEONE ELSE SAVED HIM PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏 I AM BEGGING ON MY HANDS AND KNEES

12:03- okay this is really cool but is he actually dead cuz I'll legitimately be really sad if so

12:50- *that one vine* "*gasp* Adam."

13:23- KILL HIS ASS CHARLIE

14:12 yes Vaggie, queen shit

SIR PENTIOUS ARE YOU DEAD /J OR /SRS?????

14:35 I KNEW IT I KNOW HE WAS GOING TO COME BACK I MEAN I GOT KIND OF SPOILED CUZ I I SAW THE COVER OF THE EPISODE BUT WOAH 10/10 ENTRANCE

14:44- gasp! His face!

15:00- he is, so stupid. I love him.

15:51-okay I went quiet for a minute cuz there were so much happening but oh my God what do I even say this is just so cool also I don't know if this is intentional or not but the blood stain on Charlie's hair is shaped like an apple

16:34- NIFFTY RAHHHHHHH

17:08- wait okay I had a brief thought that maybe lute was actually Eve but I think I'm wrong on that

17:13- Sir Pentious would've liked pancakes :((((((

Ad Time! I don't care about hard Rock Cafe I just want to know whether or not Sir Pentious is actually dead please I'm going through all the stages of grief right now and Brandan Rogers just came on my screen as Katie killjoy please

18:04- Keke :(

Oh my God they're going to find him in the rubble right? ... Right?? Right guys right???????

18:10- fat nuggets survived that's good I see a rock that looks suspiciously shaped like Sir Pentious military hat whoa guys I wonder if that means anything and it looks like it's up like someone is standing? Whoa I wonder if they'll check behind that rock please

18:16- wait is he actually dead I'm genuinely about to cry

19:16- I am not crying about his death until the episode ends I am not crying until it is 100% CONFIRMED that he died

20:50- omg alastor's alive, he's in his Jack's skeleton era that means that maybe Sir Pentious is also-

21:08- friends :) he said friends just saying

22:04- I TOLD YOU I FUCKING TOLD YOU I TOLD YOU THAT BY DYING IT WAS JUST A CHARACTER BEING REDEEMED I TOLD YOU I'M SO SMART I'M NOT EATING PAPER HAHAHAHAHA I'M THE GREATEST MAN ALIVE HE'S NOT DEAD MY SNAKE BOY ISN'T DEAD HOW DID I GET SO ATTACHED TO HIM I DON'T KNOW BUT I LOVE HIM YES I CAN'T EXPRESS MY EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW I'M GENUINELY SO HAPPY THIS IS WHY THIS IS WHY I WAITED UNTIL THE VERY END TO CRY ABOUT HIM I KNEW HE WASN'T GOING TO BE DEAD THEY WOULDN'T KILL HIM OFF THEY WOULDN'T KILL MY SNAKE BOY OFF JUST LIKE THAT

22:34- you're telling me Lilith was just doing hot girl shit on the beach for 7 years.

[bloodmoon24]

Was messing around the incorrect quotes generator cuz I was mostly inspired by ur partner with xer chazmint quotes and I wanted to fuck around with them - anyway, here's sum w/ staticradio, mixedtime and, introducing, chazmint to the mix :)

Melissa: Hey, what have you two been doing? Kitty: we were helping Papermint with his wedding vows and we were kicked out of their house for making it inappropriate. Travis: How is “Nice ass, Chaz” inappropriate?

Vox: Guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you… Alastor and I are dating. Alastor, Velvette, Rosie, and Charlie: gasp Vox: Al, why are you surprised?!

Bezel: Hey, I was wondering, have any of you guys ever seen Chaz's bedroom? Vox : No, he refuse to let any of us visit. You know what that means. Trazuil, nodding: Dungeon. Bezel, nodding: Rich. Alastor, nodding: Homeless. Feedback, nodding: Secretly in the mafia. Vox: What? No, I meant he's messy. What the hell is wrong with all of you?

Chaz: You know, when Bezel comes over, Trazuil can get a little… Vox : Psycho? Papermint: Scary? Alastor: Drunk? Chaz: All three.

Trazuil: Look, last night was a mistake. Bezel : A sexy mistake. Trazuil: No, just a regular mistake.

Vox : Dom or sub? Alastor: I guess Domino's, since I don't go to Subway that much. Don't see why you'd put them in the same category though.

Alastor: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out? Vox : …Have you never taken a shower before?

Bezel : You look good in that hoodie. Trazuil: You know where else I'd look good? Bezel , zero hesitation: My bed. Trazuil, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

Trazuil: look Bezel , I'm not slut shaming you but… Trazuil: Actually yeah, I'm TOTALLY slut shaming you.

Alastor: Vox , what do you call people you go out with but don’t try to sleep with? Vox : …People?

Vox: Is it still visible? Where Alastor slapped me? Bezel : Your face looks like a don't walk signal. Chaz: Your face looks like a photo negative for the hamburger helper box. Trazuil: A palm reader could tell Alastor's future by looking at your face. Feedback: The phrase 'talk to the hand cause the face ain't listening' doesn't work for you, because the hand is your face. Vox: …A simple 'yes' would've sufficed.

Papermint: Chaz kissed me! Bezel : Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Papermint: It was unbelievable! Bezel : Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Vox: Okay, we wanna hear everything. Bezel, get the wine and unplug the phone. Papermint, does this end well or do we need tissues? Papermint: Oh, it ended very well. Bezel : Do not start without me! Do not start without me! Vox: Okay, alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing? Papermint: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it. Vox: Ohh… So, okay, was he holding you? Or was his hands on your back? Papermint: First he started out on my waist and then they slid up and then they were in my hair. Bezel and Vox: Ohhh. meanwhile Chaz eating pizza in the apartment: And, uh, and then I kissed him. Alastor: Tongue? Chaz: Yeah. Travis: Cool.

Chaz: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing. Papermint: Are you a software update? because not right now.

Papermint: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Chaz: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. Papermint: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Chaz: Is it working?

I am very proud of myself 4 doing this >:D

-📼 anon

Hahahahah!! I love these! I even recognized some of these!

[rosieathearthside]

Oh-! Fancy Seeing You Here, Man!

Don't mind my mildly omnipresent OCs up there/down there (depends on what link you clicked on to get here). Yes, this is the break room, but it's not a "blogger-only" break room. Sit down, man; rest a spell. And while you're here, lemme tell you how things are around these parts!

~ From here on, please read. I know it's a lot, but it's still important. ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: What plans do you have for this page?

A: I'm thinking of making this a half-art, half-update blog. Up until this point, I've mainly been posting life updates and stuff on Wattpad, but I'm fairly certain that people can't access these posts without making an account with the site first. And since a lot of people on the great World Wide Web have Tumblr accounts, why not transfer some of those posts here? However, in order for me to do that, you first need to know a few things:

~ I wrote a futuristic, Kinoko Kingdom-esque DSMP fic on Wattpad called "An Herb's Guide To Drowning". You can access that while signed out, so feel free to give it a read if you'd like! ~ As far as writing goes, I'm currently on hiatus until further notice. Life do be busy as hell sometimes, y'all. ~ The fic itself is long. Like, we're talking nearly 700 Google Doc pages long. And it has a Mature rating stamped onto it on top of that. So if you're not at least 15, I'd really prefer if you didn't read this thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: What fandoms are you in? What sort of art-based nonsense can we expect from here?

A: Oh, God, a lot. Recently, I've been drowned head-first into the lovely world of indie animation- specifically (and not in order of importance), Murder Drones, Lakadaisy, The Amazing Digital Circus, ENA, Spooky Month, Cardinal Garden (when it comes out), and possibly a few more that I can't think of right now. I also love the Dream SMP/Quackity SMP, Animaniacs/Pinky and The Brain (both the original and the reboot), YouTube storytime animators (Jaiden Animations, Rebecca Parham/Let Me Explain Studios, etc.), Vocaloid/UTAULoid, and Broadway...a lot of freakin' Broadway.

Basically, expect chaos of the highest degree. XD

(I also have a small art book on Wattpad, if you'd like to go check that out! When I make art, I'll post both on the book and on Tumblr itself.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: What other socials do you have?

A: YouTube and Scratch. Keep in mind, though, YouTube is, without question, the more active one out of those. I've had the Scratch for nearly three years now, and it's literally just for DSMP roleplays at this point. (Help me.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: Who the heck are the OCs?

A: Ichabod and Rosie! Ichabod's a Tale Foundry-ish robot with a bit o' a Southern twang to his tongue, and Rosie's his...creator. Kind of. I haven't quite finalised their lore yet. They're crazy. XD

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: Anything else we need to know about you? Any guidelines for behaviour and stuff?

A: I'm so glad you asked. XD

~ I am Christian. There are heavy amounts of Christian references in the fanfic, and there will most likely be Christian talk/references on here.

~ There is a possibility that mature topics will be discussed on this blog, mainly along the lines of violence. As a good guideline, if you're under 15, proceed with extreme caution before scrolling.

~ Do not repost/reupload any of my art/stories without first asking me on here. Keep in mind, if you just ask, the answer will most likely be yes!

~ You ARE free to make fanart/animations/continuation stories of my stuff, as long as you put in your description something along the lines of "this was inspired by ______", along with a link to my profile/whatever you're referencing. If you have any questions about what you can and cannot make, please, please, PLEASE ask me.

~ No explicit discussion/topics on this blog. Not even in the comments, please. I'm going to say the same thing I said on Wattpad- if you wouldn't say what you're about to comment to a 13-year-old, then please don't say it at all.

~ No commissions, please. Again, life do be pretty darned busy at the moment. <33

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...Well. I think that's pretty much it! If you guys have any further questions, don't hesitate to ask! I hope you guys have an awesome time on here (and an awesome rest of your day/night). And as always, remember to never put popsicles in your coffee! With Platonic <3,

Ros!e

[theycallme-thejackal]

One MidgeLenny x TSwift Fic Per Day

151. Mary’s Song (Oh My My My)

At eighty years old, Midge sits on the back porch, looking out over the yard.

She’s lived in this brownstone with Lenny for nearly fifty years. It’s seen many redecorations, many updates, some construction. The floors were redone in 1972 when Hurricane Agnes hit Manhattan. But the one thing that has never changed is how much kids enjoy the backyard.

Back when they first moved in, it was Ethan, Esther, and Kitty. Then Sarah came along, and Midge still remembers watching her toddle around, taking her first steps very near the rose bushes and nearly giving Lenny a heart attack.

Now it’s their great-grandchildren. Emily, Ariel, Josh, and Abigail all run around the backyard playing tag, and occasionally getting their Aunt Rosie in the mix.

It’s been such a long time since that fateful night that Midge’s life changed. Since Joel decided to upend their lives and leave her high and dry. That night, she thought her life was over. She thought she’d never have this: a home with the man she loves where they can host their family and just enjoy the noise and the laughter.

Lenny’s hand rests on hers, and she smiles as she turns to look at her husband. She’s no longer a young woman. Her hair has gone silver, her skin not as tight and plump as it once was, and she certainly won’t get on stage and crow about the state of her tits anymore. But Lenny still looks at her like the stars that shine in the sky.

He’s slowed down as he approaches ninety, and she can feel it - a day is coming when she’ll be sitting out on this porch without him. But, god, they’ve had so many more years than she ever expected. Even though he quit the drugs in 1960 and smoking in the mid-eighties, she’s always worried that the way they lived their lives when they were young and wild would take him from her too soon.

How glad she is to have been proven wrong.

Fifty years. More than half her life, she has been married to him, and he still has the ability to make her feel butterflies, to make her laugh until tears stream down her face. And while she isn’t a fan of her wrinkles, per se, when she looks at them now, she just thinks of the laughter that caused them. Not the pain. Not the tears. The smiles and the joy are what stand out to her.

She watches as Rosie helps Emily climb up the oak tree, where Josh is dangling with his knees bent over the branch. Lenny squeezes her hand as he leans in to kiss her cheek. “We did good,” he murmurs.

She smiles and turns her head to kiss him gently. “We did damn good.”

[arbitersart]

AIYCYE Playlist + Explanations *✧･ﾟ

Hello! After the wonderful responses I've gotten on And If You Close Your Eyes, I wanted to assemble this little guide to the playlist I made for it as well. Music is a huge source of inspiration for my fic writing and I love sharing just what it is about each song that fits + the lyrics or fic lines that are relevant.

Obvious warnings for fic spoilers below the cut. The songs are in mostly chronological order and don't yet include chapter 5 songs, because it hasn't been release yet. I'll update this post when it does :)

*✧･ﾟ Pompeii - Bastille And if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing's changed at all?

The song that titled the fic. It fit due to its overall "oh shit the world is ending" vibes that still maintained a level of upbeat-ness. The highlighted line references Grian traveling from reality to reality and seeing all sorts of different things, but finding the same fundamental truth in all of them.

*✧･ﾟ Help I'm Alive - Metric

This song is for every single time Grian wakes up in a different reality— it feels akin to having ice cold water dumped on him, or the air knocked out of his lungs. God I love the drums at the beginning of the song so much.

*✧･ﾟAs the World Caves In - Matt Maltese

The impending dread with every new reality. Self explanatory.

.

*✧･ﾟThe Flower Garden - Joe Hisaishi

For the flower field scene :)

*✧･ﾟAll This and Heaven Too - Florence and the Machine And all my stumbling phrases never amounted to anything worth this feeling

This is for Grian and Scar traveling up the mountain and Grian struggling not to admit to himself how desperately in love he is. In the previous iterations, he's never let Scar get this close, but with this being the last time, he's desperate for any and all help, and at the end of his rope. He's understanding how happy he is by Scar's side too late.

*✧･ﾟceilings - Lizzy McAlpine But it's not real, and you don't exist, and I can't recall the last time I was kissed

Grian's memories of the world in which he and Scar were married. In that reality, Scar kissed him once on the forehead, after Grian insisted they stay away from each other so he could focus on searching for the elytra.

*✧･ﾟThe Eagles - Howard Shore "And Scar, dancing. His hair had been long then, half braided and tied off with ribbons. It framed his smile perfectly as Grian twirled him around."

Grian remembering his Scar back home. He sees the memory in slow motion. This is is a direct reference to the LOTR scene with Sam and Frodo remembering the shire and Mt. Doom comes down around them: "Rosie Cotton dancin'... she had ribbons in her hair..." That's the kind of desperate love and yearning Grian is feeling.

*✧･ﾟRule #2 Moonlight - Fish In a Birdcage All I need is to come home to you All I want is to be close to you

*✧･ﾟ Agape - Nicholas Britell “I may not be your Grian, but through all this I know that he loves you. Enough to trust you with his name and to break his promises.”

Every quiet confession and moment of vulnerability these two have exchanged is Agape.

*✧･ﾟThe Great Gig in the Sky - Pink Floyd

This song is for Grian remembering the feeling of his wings being ripped out of his body. It's the bridge between himself and Alt!Grian. They are indeed mirror images— where Alt!Grian is the speech about the quiet acceptance of death, our Grian is the melodious wailing. Alt has spent an incredible amount of time planning, rebelling, mutilating himself, and keeping secrets from everyone he loves. Our Grian has lived in willful ignorance, going along with the Watchers' will because he wants nothing more than to go home. Their choices are different, but their pain is the same.

*✧･ﾟThe World We Knew - Frank Sinatra

This is for Grian waking up on a blown-up mountaintop while the Cleanse swirls above him. The beginning of the end.

*✧･ﾟHow Far We've Come - Matchbox 20 "Then, above them, the cavalry arrives."

The beginning of the battle, when everything is almost... joyful. It's the feeling of all of Grian's friends showing up for him in the 11th hour, uncaring that this is how their world ends, committing to spend their last moments to the fullest. It's the love you only find in a group of people you come to love like family, a love of multitudes.

*✧･ﾟFix You - Cody Fry Grian hears.

This is for the moment Grian regains control over the elytra, the moment his memories come back, the sounds, the sights, the feelings. It's on here almost exclusively for the 2:26 timestamp but whatever lol.

*✧･ﾟLight My Love - Greta Van Fleet "Grian takes flight for the first time in two years, and it's absolutely everything."

*✧･ﾟI Am Satisfied With My Care - Henry Jackman

They're so close to the finish line, so close to their triumphant victory, when something isn't right. Fun fact, Scar knew he was fading right as Grian came to pick him up.

*✧･ﾟ you are my sunshine - Christina Perri Please don't take my sunshine away

*✧･ﾟTessa - Steve Jablonsky

"When I touched the elytra back in the cave, I saw… everything. Every reality I’ve existed in. All at once. And there wasn’t a single one in which I didn’t love you.”

*✧･ﾟKing of the Monsters - Bear McCreary "My name is Grian."

Grian's rage. Grian's grief. Grian's love. What I tried to accomplish with the drawing of this scene and the descriptions was how absolutely bat-shittingly scary Grian becomes. He has nothing left to lose, and he's just pulled out his trump card. Grian understands the full magnitude of what the avians are, what it means to be a torn piece of the fabric of the universe. And he is overwhelmed by sheer power.

*✧･ﾟNot Strong Enough - boygenius Always an angel, never a god

I imagine this is sort of the "credits" song that plays out chapter 4. It's for Grian teetering between the hubris that made the Watchers what they became and the festering need to rest. Something I wished had been more strongly suggested at the end of the chapter is that this is Grian fully giving up. He's making no effort to do anything else, he just lets his magic overflow until there's nothing left. To put in more casual terms, Grian is submitting to being doomed by the narrative.

[odetoviscera]

Liveblogging Mission: Impossible 2, Inevitably

I RETURN, dragging myself through the slog of longform audio editing, to liveblog about a ridiculous series of movies for the amusement of my betters and tyrants, i.e @leupagus, and also to justify my paramount+ subscription. not gonna pay for that two months in a row, so let’s get cracking on with mission: impossible 2 - sunglasses edition

liveblogging below

first and most important observation: this one came out in 2000, which means i was ten and old enough to conceivably watch this movie as it was airing. i have no memory of doing so, but that’s no proof of anything, i often have no memory of the last week.

important audio update: no more panning drum roll on the paramount logo! vast improvement.

we are in SYDNEY AUSTRALIA at the i-assume-headquarters-and-lab of BIOCYTE PHARMACEUTICALS, which is a very supervillain science name if i’ve ever read one. the russian voiceover talking about creating a monster and namedropping greek mythology while a very shifty scientist shoots himself with a science gun is also telling.

ominous ring-around-the-rosie has transported us to the black-and-white flashback zone? or maybe just the black-and-white Dread zone? unclear.

terrible cgi airplane my beloved. somehow i doubt it’s coincidence that ethan is seated next to the scientist on a self-imposed deadline of doom. 

“you’ll soon be with old friends” okay is that supposed to be creepy or do they know each other?

oh ETHAN is the dimitri of the ominous opening narration. this raises fascinating questions. no plastic mask, so this is a pseudonym under his own face. he is not affecting a russian accent, so what’s the backstory? is this a longstanding cover? was it established by the imf, or is this a personal project?

okay so chimera is some kind of disease/poison/Substance that was in the science gun, shifty scientist infected himself with it for… transportation? to smuggle it out in his bloodstream? raises the question of why he had to do that with chimera if he WAS able to get the antidote/counteragent bellerophon in a briefcase, though. either way, that’s the 20-hour time limit. got it. now my only question is, does this become the actual arc of the movie, or is this the cold open lol.

hmm, turbulence in a spy thriller is never just turbulence. oh yeah no there’s gonna be some kind of gas in those oxygen masks. …other than oxygen. (also a very stock “Group Shock” sound when the masks drop lol. come on guys, you couldn’t shell out for a custom foley on that in MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 2?)

interesting, New Face Detected.  very tech bro t-shirt and blazer situation going on there, i hereby assign him hacker.

holy god this is a wide airplane. did we used to make them that spacious??? this looks downright comfortable.

YEP. copilots just knocked the fuck out, captain’s in on it. aaaand set the autopilot to crash them into a mountain, i do believe.

oh ethan is NOT dimitri. has the science guy never met dimtri in person??? …wait, is this even ethan. OH MY GOD IS SOMEONE USING THE PLASTIC FACE MASK???????????

i refuse to believe my sweet boy who has never fired a gun on screen would break an old science man’s neck for no particular gain, this is absolutely not ethan.

I WAS CORRECT. excellent fakeout, seriously, i bought it. this apparently is our real villain-- head of a four-man squad who apparently feel totally chill about killing everyone in a passenger plane for whatever the dearly departed science man had in his bag.

oof, sorry copilot, there was no avoiding that mountain, might’ve been better if you’d stayed knocked out for that.

there’s my boy! freeclimbing, from the look of him, which-- well, there are other people who consider that an acceptable if not wholly sane hobby, so i’ll reserve judgment lol.

it does admittedly get him a stellar view to admire

llfakjdf;lkasl;kh and a helicopter shows up to fire a non-detonating missile in his general direction lol. i assume this contains another mission. don’t you people have telephones. i know you have secure lines, ethan called one last movie.

oh my god the briefing is on a pair of SUNGLASSES. I WAS RIGHT TO CALL IT SUBTITLE SUNGLASSES EDITION, I JUST SAID THAT BC OF THE BANNER ART ON PARAMOUNT+. MISSION IMPOSSIBLE WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS.

“you may select any two team members” interesting, it didn’t seem like the teams were ad-hoc last movie-- jim’s team seemed like a pretty stable unit.

third member must be “nyah”-- pausing to read her dossier, she seems to be catwoman. expertise: burglary; circumvention of all security, electronic, laser, human, etc.; gemology lol, one of these things is not like the others. prefers operating near galas. AND she’s not even an agent, she’s a civilian thief that ethan has to personally recruit. i assume there is some nefarious reason her inclusion is being mandated.

“if i let you know where i’m going, then i won’t be on holiday” ethan you should carry that ethos into the logical conclusion, which is not answering your emails/sunglasses-based-mission-summons.

oh now we’ve got a ROCK GUITAR version of the opening theme lol. they’re trying really hard to go Harder and Edgier lol. oh john woo directed. did he direct the first one??? no, it was brian de palma. interesting.

fancy party, i assume nyah is here to steal something. also these dancers look like they’re one costume change away from summoning an eldritch entity and i would be here for that alternative movie. gratuitous slow-mo on their skirt swirling lol.

i think ethan is supposed to look Intense and Focused here since i suspect he just laid eyes on nyah but honestly he looks sort of Soulful and Puppyish. it’s the hair. holy SHIT that hair. @leupagus mentioned the blowdrying and she was NOT kidding

here’s our catwoman! absolutely no chance that she is not a love interest, at least temporarily. look at her. oh my god they’re slow-moing the eyefucking across a dancer and nyah disappears behind a skirt swirl lol. holy shit this movie. acquire a single iota of chill.

sorry i have to show you this very lesbian dancing. i’m sure it has a deep cultural meaning for wherever this is but at least one of those meanings has to be “butches fighting over the prettiest femme at the dance”.

meanwhile nyah is sneaking around upstairs and taking advantage of all the stomping to make door-opening noises without being noticed. oh she’s a high-tech thief. comes prepared with Gadgets. and of course ethan has gotten there ahead of her, he is the specialest boy.

ah yes, classic “quick, hide on top of me” maneuver lol. in ethan’s defense, nyah’s the one who pulled HIM down. alkdh;flkahskljgh; “do you mind if i’m on top?” “no. either way works for me.”

df;lakhdfl;kahl nyah why are you trying to pick a lock while straddling this man and expecting him NOT to interrupt you lol

you deserved that knee to the ribs ethan lol. very gentle though. she likes him.

stolen necklace in the cleavage. A Classic. i repeat: she’s catwoman.

nyah my darling, my beloved, the star of my life, you are so pretty and so good at crime, WHY do you have to be flippant in the critical moment that ethan gives you One warning and immediately do the thing he advised against, setting off an alarm. please. please do not acquire a tragic case of damselitis. i am begging. i will do the lesbian dancing to enchant you.

flkahdl;kfhas;lkh okay first of all, ethan’s cover as security engineer? excellent, that’s how they get you. second of all, MR. KEYS??? BIT ON THE NOSE MY BELOVED BOY.

lkdhf;lkahdflkashl oh my god ethan you are such a brat. he’s telling them how to make it harder for her to steal from them. the pigtail pulling. the exuberant shit-taker energy of him. i give it five minutes before he makes her hand the necklace back, which, again-- in her cleavage. YEP there it goes lol.

dalkfhdl;khfa;lkh ETHAN TRIGGERED THE ALARM. babe that’s not gonna endear you to her lol, your recruitment skills are rusty.

WHY IS THERE SLO-MO ON ETHAN STUMBLING AROUND AFTER SHE PEELS OUT IN HER FANCY CAR. JOHN WOO IS THIS YOUR FAULT????

oh wow the motorola car phone lol. every now and then the 2000 of it all is very clear.

listen you have to give ethan credit for determination and chutzpah. look at her. she’s impressed, she’s charmed AND she’s mad about it lol. nobody does it like ethan hunt. it’s the relentless border collie energy.

oh his pitch is to wipe her slate clean. that’s probably worth something.

okay of the two of them NYAH is the real daredevil lol, she just SIDESWIPED this man. d;lfkhas;dlkfha ethan putting his seatbelt on like a good boy. he had it off for his Suave Spy performance. 

ethan’s defensive driving skills really being put to the test here lol. aww, “sorry” at the passing motorists they’re recklessly endangering lol. the goodest of boys. “watch the road, watch the road--”

oh no, damselitis again, she’s spun out and ethan is having to like, bodyslam spin her car with his car to keep her from careening off a cliff-- nyah is really not as good at this as she thinks she is. i suppose this could be a character trait and not an irritating trope. maybe “arrogant to the point of suicidality” is one of her characteristics lol. 

OH MY GOD the slow mo and the fading in and out of the spinning cars and the close-ups and the Soulful Single Vocalist MOVIE PLEASE. WE GET IT. SHE’S THE LOVE INTEREST. PLEASE.

okay listen nyah if you don’t take the job after this man has literally pulled you off the side of a cliff…

he’s already doing the Soft Boy Face Touches he did with claire last movie lol

oh we’re going STRAIGHT to the kisses. and the sex, apparently! get it nyah, he’s hot and ya’ll just trauma bonded.

HOWEVER-- fascinating character moment with ethan here before nyah wakes up. he wakes up, looks over to see her in bed beside him, and makes THIS face. sighs, covers his face with his hand, stares at her for a moment before he wakes her up with more Soft Boy Face Touches. i could peel this scene apart like an onion for the next 5000 words. the Instant Regret™. the hesitance. the cautious tenderness. at first i thought this might have been a bit of honeypot to reel her in-- obviously with some real Romantic Chemistry underneath, we know how it goes-- but with this reaction? no. whatever impulse of ethan’s this was, it was genuine and it overpowered his common sense in ways he isn’t unpacking. how SLOWLY he reaches for her, once he’s resigned himself to the fact of her presence and whatever it meant and is going to mean. distinct impression that this is the first time he’s allowed himself this specific vulnerability since the fade to black with claire, who betrayed him-- was betraying him the whole time-- and who he watched die. it’s like five seconds long. i have a problem and his name is ethan hunt.

i will note we’re 23 minutes into this move and still only one team member in lol

okay we’ve gone somewhere with a festival that involved the crucified christ being paraded through the streets and is that ANTHONY HOPKINS??? is he joining the team???????????

oh no okay he’s the imf boss. can’t say i’m sad to lose kittridge lol.

okay so ethan is seeing the scientist to dimitri message from the opening narration for the first time. and he’s looking a bit shellshocked. Tell Me Your Secret Backstory, Ethan.

oh yeah ethan is willing to drop everything immediately to pick up Mr. Scientist, he’s gonna be Unhappy to find out that he’s already dead. …after being flown on a commercial carrier, the thing ethan specifically says not to do, lol. my boy, so smart, etc.

ooooh my god, the imf set up the villain squad with the ethan mask and vocoder? IMF WHY DO YOU SUCK SO MUCH AT EVERY DAMN THING? WHY DO YOU TORMENT MY BOY?????

yep, sean ambrose is the villain supreme, an imf agent-- they have history apparently, and ethan doesn’t like him.

oh that’s why nyah has to be on the team-- she’s ambrose’s ex and they want her to be their honeypot. yeah ethan’s not gonna love that either.

“she’s got no training for this” “to go to bed with a man and lie to him, she’s a woman, she’s got all the training she needs” THE MISOGYNY, sir. after jim this must just be the imf Culture. oooh, his little SMIRK-- he can tell they slept together and he thinks it’s funny. what a dick lol.

did he just show ethan nyah and ambrose’s SEX TAPES??? okay no it’s footage of the crashed plane lol

oof, first fight. this is a Messy situation lol. interesting little character moment on nyah after the shouting, too-- the way her expression kind of stills and you can see her Construct this little smirk she’s usually wearing, making it clear how much of a mask that is. she’s had an idea for how she can work this angle, and she’s not happy about it, but she’s going to do it, so-- no use continuing to cry about the milk.

okay the scheme being to get ambrose to break nyah out of prison is quite clever. play on his white knight fantasies. nyah is aware of her own damselitis lol.

okay so i guess our other two team members are coming along-- billy, who looks like he might be piloting the helicopter, and-- luther!!! a triumphant return. i wonder if they’ve worked together previously.

dflkahd;lfkhas;lkh luther’s 800 DOLLAR GUCCI SHOES. sir how much do they pay you for spying and how much of that is bonus income from off-the-books hacking.

df;lkashdl;fkhal;k aww billy just wants to break into the Preexisting Camaraderie between ethan and luther and is getting NO traction lol

ambrose looks like he’s gonna cream his pants just seeing nyah on the dock, sir PLEASE get some dignity, you are a VILLAIN, have some SELF RESPECT

…okay i know Evil Airline Captain is probably just suspicious of nyah’s sudden return but the WAY he is squinting at nyah and ambrose’s Reunion is making him look like a jealous friendzoned wannabe-boyfriend watching the object of his affection return to an abusive relationship. keep it in your evil boy pants, sir, ambrose just isn’t that into you.

aaand of COURSE the unrealistically accurate realtime satellite footage the team is watching comes in just in time for ethan to watch them kiss lol

“now there’s a bloke who knows how to give a proper welcome. /nudges luther/ oh don’t get me wrong mate, you were very friendly also.” alright so i’m tallying billy up for bisexual lol

Evil Airline Captain is on the same page as me re: nyah being catwoman lol

god ambrose is creepy. “undress in front of me while i gawk at you.” nyah what did you EVER see in this guy.

giving us the quick and dirty greek myth overview. i often forget that this is not necessarily common knowledge to everyone, so fair enough i guess.

i am TELLING you, either they HAVE fucked or Evil Airline Captain (hugh, apparently) WANTS THEM to fuck and it being thwarted by how extremely straight ambrose is. this whole scene reads like old married couple where the wife is giving husband the cold shoulder and kvetching about his affairs.

oh that cigar cutter is gonna come back for a finger

oh oof, it’s not coming back, it’s taking the fingertip Right Now. ambrose does Not like being questioned. (my “they have fucked” argument is getting yet more evidence on the basis of the Suggestive Poses during this scene btw.)

oh billy is on site! delivering ear pieces! i wondered how they were going to get in contact with her.

hmm, biocyte ceo is here. getting blackmailed for his product?

oh good, nyah gets to do some Thieving!

jesus, hugh is hair-trigger, he didn’t even clock billy as an actual threat before Strangling Him

lol nyah does Not follow instructions well

“what are you gonna do, spank me?” cue luther Awkwardly Clearing His Throat ldkfa;lkdhf;la god these movies are funny. even intentionally, sometimes!

well damn, chimera fucks you up but good. looks like you hemorrhage out of your PORES. seriously guys, why did you have to create a Murder Virus in the first place?

ethan’s telling nyah to pull out, but there’s no way he doesn’t have to go in an extract her

oh no, NYAH, you put the envelope back in the WRONG POCKET!!! babe it’s careless mistakes like this that get you caught by your psycho ex!!!!!!

…we’re focusing a lot on biocyte ceo, i wonder if he’s gonna get chimera infected or something. yeah he’s fussing about the taste of his cigar, can’t roll down his window, his driver isn’t responding-- Dude Is Fucked. not sure WHY, you’d think he’d be a potential buyer, but-- aaaand there’s the aerosol in the air vents, and down he goes. maybe not dead? definitely fucked up though.

nyah if you can’t find ambrose and you’re supposed to fuck off, it is Time To Steal A Boat, not commence further investigations

oh lol yep ethan didn’t wait for her to make her own attempt, he’s already on site to get her

oh huh, ambrose (?) is playing mind games with biocyte guy-- face mask to look like Science Guy, biocyte guy in a “hospital” room. getting more information i guess.

“i needed to know just how bad the disease was in the real world, not just in the lab” jesus, go ahead and kill biocyte guy lol

aha! not ambrose, ethan! that makes much more sense lol, although given the implications that science guy and “dimitri” had some kind of friendly connection, and given how shellshocked ethan was to find out he was dead, playing his friend’s (?) ghost must have been. how shall i put this. Emotionally Complex. more evidence for my “ethan hunt doesn’t process his trauma he just repeats it until it stops hurting” theory.

…WAIT okay, ethan isn’t on the island to collect nyah bc ETHAN IS NOT ON THE ISLAND, THIS IS A GODDAMN IMPOSTER, ethan was off doing that song and dance with biocyte guy, “ethan” is just AMBROSE IN A FUCKING MASK AGAIN. getting final confirmation that nyah’s lying to him (and not just, like, stealing his shit out of habit) and telling nyah to “do anything ambrose asks”. YEAH I BET YOU CREEP.

seriously though how easy are those masks to make lol

Sad Villain Hours. no honour among thieves, you dingbat, get over it. just fuck hugh, he’s (in your words) gagging for it.

oh this is interesting, ambrose and ethan are both breaking down the impending biocyte op from their respective perspectives. that’s a fun way ot switch it up.

this shot is just here bc it’s cinematic and this movie isn’t as fun to look at, generally, as the last one. seriously, there were so many interestingly composed shots with compelling color choreography and clean, sharp lines in the first movie! this one hasn’t felt as interesting to watch from a purely visual perspective.

lol luther is trying so hard to dissuade ethan from the tactic he is Obviously going to choose

“he’ll undoubtedly engage in some aerobatic insanity before he’ll risk harming a hair on a security guard’s head.” is ambrose’s analysis, and this is an interesting observation about ethan and Ethan Stunts, i think. last time, the first real Ethan Stunt was the back of the train chase trying to catch jim without getting dissolved into a red mist by a helicopter. if ambrose’s assessment of the motive for ethan’s upcoming Stunt is accurate-- and i’d guess it is, based on what we’ve seen of ethan’s morals and standards of behaviour-- this suggests that ethan’s Stunts are less motivated by “this is the only way, period” and more motivated by “this is the only way that Doesn’t Hurt People (other than ethan)” and that’s a fascinating nuance to this conversation.

dfl;akhd;lfkhaslkh luther’s terrified, teary-sounding, “ETHAN WAIT”. bless. poor luther is just constantly sitting with his heart in his throat during this shit lol.

imf has all the coolest gadgets. i guess that makes up for their operational incompetence?

finally another interesting shot-- Villain Squad marching in to fuck up ethan’s plan and we’re following their reflection in the Shiny Floor. i’d like more robust colour grading, this is a little washed out, but i’ll take it.

hmm, luther is saying they brought nyah into the building with them, but i didn’t see her with the villain squad… either she’s been kept out of frame for this reveal-- odd choice-- or the transponder has been removed somehow and villain squad is carrying it to fuck with them. (in which case fingers crossed that nyah hasn’t been hobbled, that thing was in her ankle.)

now, see… why would you have laser’s set up over your petri dishes??? what kind of science choice is this??????? i mean it’s convenient, don’t get me wrong, but

aaand we’re down to One Chimera Shot Left, so any minute now Villain Squad will show up lol

oh wait. ethan is having some kind of revelation about the 20-hours thing and the fact that Science Guy injected himself chimera For Some Reason.

ah, whatever realization he was going to come to was interrupted by gunfire. unnecessary floor slide from a goon firing up at him lol

ethan’s first Shots Fired in two movies-- shooting a goon who had just picked up the Final Chimera Shot after ethan dropped it in a hail of gunfire. now, obviously this probably clear from a moral/ethical standpoint even by whatever ethan’s standards (not technically stated, only observed) are, however-- watching this scene, this is clearly just john woo’s influence. the man’s claim to fame is gun fu. this is the gun fu scene. i feel vaguely displeased to have had ethan’s story besmirched by this, lol.

anyway, i have a feeling that now that the Ethan Shoots People seal has been broken, we’ll start to see more of it.

oh damn, someone just planted a bomb on (i assume) luther’s van. LUTHER YOU HAVE TEN SECONDS STOP GAWKING AT IT IN THE SIDE MIRROR AND JET!!!! ILU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

billy screaming LUTHER is me rn

lol ambrose looks so dissatisfied that his goons can’t seem to shoot this One Man

oh my god ambrose really was That stupid? he didn’t realize From The Video Message that Science Guy had injected himself with chimera??? sir… i’m embarrassed for you…

hmm, they did bring nyah. still not sure why they didn’t have her on-screen until this moment when they had luther literally say she was present.

break for Rainbow Ethan!

luther! only slightly blown up and late with his intel lol

so what are the odds nyah pockets the vial somehow? she’s looking very Sainted here which IS concerning from a Surviving The Movie perspective

oh my god she’s going to inject HERSELF. smart but stupid, nyah.

ethan Instantly setting a 20-hour timer has several implications: first, obviously, he’s going to get her bellerophon and that’s the rest of the runtime lol; second, he had that timer queued up, so either intentionally or accidentally infecting himself Was A Consideration

exfil time! Operatic Soundtrack. nyah telling ethan to shoot her! nice try babe but absolutely no chance of that, you’ve engaged his Trauma and he is now going to be absolutely deranged about this

incredibly dramatic exit by ethan hunt lol. nyah left behind to fend for herself bc, you know, no parachute and she’s now worth 37 million pounds.

oh my god the absolutely cartoonish Slap Foley.

the freeclimbing came back with plot relevance! significantly less impressive cliff, though

on my life i cannot get a good screengrab of this but just trust me that this is ethan hunt kicking a man in the face lol. followed by more gratuitous slo-mo of some kind of falling bicycle kick lol, JOHN WOO GET OUT OF MY FILM

ambrose and biocyte guy are making An Exchange-- ethan is here presumably to get the bellerophon for nyah

fal;kdfl;kashdl;kh they’re bargaining for STOCK OPTIONS and setting nyah loose in public to be their living viral bomb to raise an urgent need for bellerophon and raise the stock value. and pairing it with a hostile takeover. Very Capitalism. 

ethan’s martial arts stunts are getting absolutely wire-fu. again i sense the hand of john woo.

ethan is for once taking the direct route to his target and OH MY GOD THIS MOVIE

so are we just saying now that doves are ethan’s spiritual animal? bc you might be able to talk me into that. …oh god i’ve given myself mission impossible daemon au brainworms FUCK

ethan’s response to “raise your hands very slowly” from hugh-- who inexplicably didn’t just shoot him; maybe he wants to deliver him to his boss/daddy/dom????-- is to TOSS A GRENADE. I TOLD YOU HE WAS GOING TO BE DERANGED ABOUT THIS

they’re all underground by the way, so this tunnel system is probably unstable now

ethan has been caught but has, of course, tunnel visioned on The Cure Is Here

…oh my god wait, NO, there was no time for a mask and a vocoder and a WHOLE OUTFIT SWAP, there’s no way that ethan swapped places with hugh… oh my god, “ethan” isn’t talking he’s just making Muffled Noises, somehow he’s been gagged under the mask or something, HOW. HOW. MOVIE HOW.

congrats ambrose you just killed your own guy. notice the finger any minute now-- yep

huh ambrose actually looks pretty broken up about this, can’t decide if he actually liked hugh or he’s just pissed to have missed out on killing ethan (who of course has taken off with the vials)

The Boys tried to pick ethan up but the lz is too hot, so instead he’s Sunglasses Motorcycle Man. why the sunglasses? no idea. where did the motorcycle gang he stole this bike from come from? also no idea.  This. Fucking. Movie.

oh my god luther just fired a bazooka at a car that was pursuing ethan lol

i swear someone just made a checklist of Cool Action Guy Shots to paste ethan into lol

car chase car chase car chase-- honestly this bit is kind of boring, ethan is just shooting at people and stunting on the bike

“she’s only got a little time left” interesting that they set that timer but have not been actually tracking the time except in this very vague way

okay this is an actually interesting bit of the car chase-- ethan does Something (i don’t know i don’t do vehicles) to make his bike throw up a lot of smoke, which obscures the oncoming truck so that the pursuit vehicle drives in front of it and gets t-boned (and instantly explodes, bc… This Movie)

nyah has of course gotten herself as far as possible from a population center in the time remaining to her and is looking like she’s going to cast herself into the sea. not sure if that would pollute the water in any way, or the marine life for that matter, but her options are admittedly pretty limited

oop! ethan’s gas tank was punctured by ambrose firing at him-- didn’t explode, miraculously lol-- so my guess is he’s going to run out of fuel before he can reach nyah

bike standoff with ambrose

oh my god are they bike jousting…

these deranged bastards just LEAPT OFF THEIR BIKES at each other, COLLIDING IN MIDAIR AND CAREENING OFF A CLIFF TO THE BEACH to have a fistfight. nobody makes ‘em like imf

ethan is not winning this fistfight by the way, even before ambrose pulls a knife. he gets a couple of good hits in but he is very much getting his ass kicked. but he manages to overpower ambrose-- only when the knife is very literally millimeters from his eyeball, something something near-death experience adrenaline-- and twist the knife away from him. at which point ambrose promptly begins taunting him about nyah’s imminent death.

ethan throws the knife away! the Ethics make another return i guess? he will probably now win the fight out of The Power Of Love and Moral Righteousness.

luther and billy have found nyah! shame they aren’t the ones with the bellerophon.

god this fight with ambrose is taking forever lol. it’s more evenly matched this time but ethan still isn’t exactly winning handily. ethan’s preferred strategy seems to be Kicks, which is interesting given his upper body strength has to be significant to manage the freeclimbing. the boys have brought nyah in the helicopter!

ethan finally shoots ambrose! probably overdue at this point, but he makes This Face afterwards so i suspect he has some feelings about it that he’s not going to unpack, ever.

more Soft Boy Face Touching

fha;ldkfhal;skh the imf is bitching that it didn’t get a living sample of chimera, ANTHONY HOPKINS YOU FUCK RIGHT OFF

ethan makes this Face whenever he’s talking to imf brass now. it is the face of I Do Not Trust You, and it is well deserved frankly, but ethan, babe, why do you still work for them then

triumphant romantic reunion

OKAY MOVIE AND THUS LIVEBLOGGING COMPLETE. i think this one felt a lot more traditional as an Action Spy Thriller? ethan’s aversion to violence was more a Protagonist Point Of Order than the sort of seamless way it was blended into his behaviour in the first film, where it was never POINTED OUT it was just… a fact. at some point between movies he’s moved from The Face forced into an uncomfortable role as mission leader/soldier by his circumstances, to a more traditional james bond-y action spy who is comfortable with using any weapon at his disposal, as long as it’s against the right targets. some of that i think i can safely lay at the feet of john woo, bc you don’t hire him to direct unless you plan on a lot of Gun Action and Explosions. some of it is probably character divergence as a result of a sequel script trying to pull audiences. cruise is probably the reason the character still feels identifiably like ethan hunt, just ethan hunt in a Weird Place Right Now.

not as pretty, some of the action dragged for me, i wish nyah got to be more Capable, but still some interesting character work to pick apart and i think if i hadn’t just watched the og movie i would be more kindly disposed to it lol.

7/10, Give Me The Secret Dimitri Backstory!!!!!

[rosetheex-editor]

[Audio transcript begin.]

[The sound of silent humming, the song being hummed is identified as "Ruler of everything." the person can be heard yawning before talking.]

?: God… What time is it?

[Voice identified: Rose.]

R: I should probably go to bed… Can't heal if I'm awake looking at a tumblr that will never update.

?: [Distant.] Rose!

[Voice identified: Edgar(?).]

[Rose freezes, the humming stops, she completely stops. After 5 seconds she speaks again.]

R: Dad???

E(?): Rose! I’m alive! You just have to come find me!

[Fabric shuffling, it seems for a moment Rose tries standing up. But she stops.]

R: You're lying.

E(?): I promise I’m not! It’s really me!

[Rose sounds as if she is holding back tears, she speaks slowly but still in full sentences.]

R: Cassius did this, you're not dad.

[A very quiet click, then a laugh.]

?: Oh, but I had you for a second, eh?

[Voice re-identified: Nicholas.]

[Rose can be heard crying, it's quiet but just loud enough to be heard.]

R: Go fuck yourself.

Ni: How does it feel, Rose? To know that the person you thought you could trust went back on his word like that?

R: Shut. Up.

Ni: Couldn’t keep a promise to save his life. But I guess he didn’t really want that, anyway. So he broke every single one he made.

R: I'm not going to let you break me, he had his reasons.

Ni: Reasons or not, he’s still dead. You probably could’ve stopped him that night, you know. But you were too busy sitting and talking in the other room that you didn’t even hear the window open.

R: Shut. The fuck up.

Ni: Admit it, Rose. This is your fault. You should have stopped him. But you didn’t. And now he’s probably in a meat locker somewhere.

R: I should have done a lot of things… I'm not letting you win. So shut up.

Ni: Whatever you say, Rosie.

[Rose's breathing hitches, she cocks a gun and the sound of fabric shuffling can be heard.]

R: W- Where did you hear that…

Ni: Oh, you know where.

[Rose begins sobbing, fabric shuffling as she falls to the ground.]

R: Don't. Ever fucking call me that.

Ni: Awwww, afraid of a little nickname? That’s cute.

R: Where are you? So I can kill you, and make sure they don't find the body.

Ni: Oh, my. You’re really unobservant. Maybe that’s why all those signs went unnoticed…

[Rose can be heard throwing a piece of metal somewhere, the metal can be heard getting jammed in the wall.]

R: Leave. Me. Alone.

Ni: Never.

R: I hope security rips you in half.

Ni: Maybe I’ll run into your sister on the way back, then you’ll get your wish.

R: …

[Rose does not speak, the only noise she makes is that of sobbing.]

Ni: HA! Gotcha!

[Rose still does not speak.]

Ni: Well, this was fun, really. But I’ve gotta go. Talk soon!

R: …

[Rose does not speak for 15 minutes leading to the transcript automatically ending.]

[End transcript.]

[hesbuckcompton-baby]

IM NOT CRYING YOURE CRYING 😭

But first oh my god Frankie and Rosie’s sweet domesticity melts my heart! I love them, and picturing him scrubbing the grease from her hands just so he can kiss them, you do know you’ve got me giggling and kicking my feet! I love them so TERRIBLY much! Their love is just so good, and true- you’ve written such a fantastic love story for them.

Bucky’s back 🥹 BUCKY’S BACK !!!

His reasons for not writing, the way him and Frankie had completely different feelings about being mad and then having that moment together was just so perfect. They both needed that, it gave them each back a piece of themselves that was ultimately thought lost when he went down. I am so beyond happy to see these two friends together again.

I spy DeMarco making a run for Suze! 🤭 yay!

George knowing the boys were all coming back, and keeping it a surprise for Frankie… best friends doing best friend things I love it!!!

I was so SO happy to see an update this morning! You made my Saturday morning coffee so much more enjoyable! 🥰

WE'RE SO BACK!!!

frankie and rosie's scene in this chapter had me kicking my feet twirling my hair and shit. they're literally the most married ever it's insane. HE LOVES HIS WIFE!!!

bucky and frankie are soooo important to me. I've been anticipating writing this reunion for SO LONG and I PRAY I've done it justice - their friendship is so lovely and genuine, and I'm so happy to bring them back together again after everything that's happened.

couldn't help but throw in a quick outsider pov of demarco going MIA in search of susie. made my heart happy, purely self-indulgent.

GEORGE!!! that's all. george aarons you are That Bitch

thank you again for your asks, love - i always love hearing your thoughts!! <3