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gaysindistress · 9 months ago

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Allies or Enemies - three

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on google/Pinterest

pairings: Dragonborn!bucky x f!reader

Summary: The reality of her cruel world is more evident than ever before when her stepfather sends her to her death under the guise of diplomacy. Y/n, the expendable daughter of a scared king, must find a way to secure her own protection among the Dragonborn and she will do that by whatever means necessary.

Warnings: nothing

Word count: 3.8k

Author’s note: there are two povs here and I didn’t add who’s they were on purpose *cue evil laughter*

Ari-Hengot means ‘my leader’ in Draconic (based on the very unhelpful google search I did so if it’s wrong it’s not my fault)

series masterlist | two

taglist: @blackbirdwitch22 @alyeskathewave @learisa @screechingfangirlaf @oh-gods-its-a-dragon @globetrotter28 @mostlymarvelgirl l @salvatoreitmeanssaviour

The words spoken by the sick and ignorant spread like wildfires; drawing close to any unattended wilting blade of grass and engulfing the field in a raging blaze within minutes. What happens now is a question on the lips of every poor farmer as they watch their life’s work burn to nothing but ash and broken spirits. No amount of water and tender hope can rebuild the life that’s been destroyed in seconds.

Much is the same with the towns where the cowardly king’s words are as revered as their holy books.

“Where is she?”

A woman stared off into the distance, looking through the thick trees and towards the small village where the girl lived. The man who had spoken off to her side huffs at her silence, growing impatient with her and the cold wind that sends another shiver down their spines.

“In a small cabin towards the back of the village, the furthest side from us,” she finally answers his question as she looks back at him, her violently red eyes blinking rapidly in adjustment.

He tries not to flinch at the unnatural glow of her eyes but fails miserably as he speaks, “Is there anyone with her?”

It’s her turn to huff, “You couldn’t have asked me that when I was looking?” “Well I never said to look away. You did that on your own accord.”

Rolling her eyes, she looks back towards the village.

“It looks like there are two men next to the door but that’s all I can see. We need to get closer if you want me to see more.”

“Of course, I need you to see more than that.”

The woman narrows her eyes at him and he looks between her and the cabin.

“You have a horse or legs if you feel inclined to actually do any work,” he gestures to both items and then points towards the village, “Get to it.”

“Haha very funny,” she sarcastically laughs, yanking her horse’s reins to the side and leading it away from her male companion.

“Wanda,” he calls after her, his horse not trailing far behind hers.

“No, you absolute ass. You dragged me to this cold barren, disgusting, foul…”

He cuts her off, “Wanda.” “No, do not interrupt me,” her head whips toward him, her headscarf slipping down to reveal a wave of red hair as she rips into him with her words, “You dragged me here, teased me like I’m a commoner, and then demanded things from me while still expecting me to cooperate. You’re dumber than a donkey if you think that I’m going to walk or force my horse to do so in the snow just to see a few more feet than I did before. I'm not doing it. Work with what I gave you or go scout it yourself!”

When she is done and can see past her rage, all she sees is his stupid smirk and she kicks her horse, demanding to be taken far away from his smug attitude.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he mumbles under his breath and takes off after her.

Wanda, the red eyed and haired woman, dismounts her horse the moment she reaches their base camp and passes off the reins to a lowly soldier who grumbles at the leather that falls into his lap. Marching straight through the small camp of seven tents, she pushes aside the heavy red fabric that make up the center tent and storms in without a care in the world.

“If you ever put me with Samuel again, I will send a wind storm into your tent and rip you from your bed the moment before you finish with a woman,” Wanda sneers at me.

I glance up at her with a ghost of a smirk before looking back at the papers and writing something on a map that is nestled on top.

“Excuse me,” she demands as she marches to the table, “Did you hear what I said?” “I did,” I answered without looking at her and looking at his maps.

“Are you going to say anything?”

I don’t respond as I continue to write and draw on the map, charting out our journey home.

“Wanda, I was joking,” her riding companion and my second in command, Samuel, calls after her as he pushes into the tent, taking note of her irritated state and my unbothered one.

“Get out,” she nearly barks at him, pointing at the entrance as her red eyes flare and a breeze sweeps in, “now.”

Samuel shakes his head at her, ignoring her as he walks over to the table and brushing past her as he does so. She physically recoils, causing her headscarf to fully fall and scoffs at the brazen touch. She looks wild with her dirty hair spilling out around her and her sanguine eyes narrowing at him.

“Ari-Hengot,” Samuel starts, “I asked her to tell me if anyone was in the house with the girl and all she gave me was two men but wasn’t able to see anyone else. Is it really so wrong of me to suggest she gets closer if that’s what she needs to be able to see more? I feel like that’s pretty reasonable.”

“You told me that I had legs and that I could walk. In the snow.”

The two start to argue like children in front of me, causing me to drop my quail back into the inkwell and straighten myself to my full height while I clear my throat to get their attention.

“Wanda, Samuel,” I warn, his voice low and commanding before looking at Wanda, “Can we move tonight or do we need to wait?”

“Yes, it looks like there’s only one person with her at all times. We should move tonight before they start to notice someone’s been watching them. It’s only a matter of time before they see a group of brightly colored tents close by,” Wanda snipes as she stuffs her hair back into her headscarf and pulls her thick red coat around her tighter.

I nod in approval of her answer regardless of her sass. I’ve never cared if she lashed out on me, disrespected me the way a soldier should never do to their captain however she wasn’t really mine to wield nor could she control me. Regardless of our dynamic lieutenant and captain, We have a long standing agreement to never use their status or titles against each other. Being the daughter of a well respected human ally to the Dragonborn and a newly appointed lieutenant, Wanda was known to have a tongue that could cut like the cold winter wind and soothe the wounds when she wanted. I had learned very quickly to stay in her good graces to protect myself from her wrath and she, in turn, protected me from the crushing weight our leaders gave me.

“That’s not what you said earlier,” Samuel argues, growing angry that I would so casually accept her appraisal of the situation without a second thought. Him and I may have known each other for several years longer, it is still Wanda that has made any headway in our mission.

“You didn’t ask what I thought. You assumed that because I could only see to the girl that I would say no but,” she turns back to me, “we should make our move now. We only have the snow storm for a few more days and after that, we won’t have cover anymore.”

“Samuel, you may leave now.”

He makes a noise of annoyance about how Wanda’s word always outweighs his but leaves nonetheless. Both of us will soon hear how wounded his ego is but for now it’s not our concern.

“And your visions?” I ask once I’m sure that Samuel is gone and no longer in earshot.

Wanda flinches but shakes it off as she occupies her hands and mind with a thread on her coat, “It has to be tonight and soon or we lose hope of getting her altogether.” Getting the confirmation that I need, I round the table and come to stand before her. Placing my large hands on my arms and pulling at them, I silently ask her to look at me.

“You’ve done well,” I mummer to her, a smile wide on my normally frozen face.

She wrinkles her nose at my praise but accepts it nonetheless. Peeking under my arm she spots the map that I’d been working on. Fear and anger rise up in her as she looks over what lies behind us.

The map is of our lands, stretching as far south as the Unsea and as far north as York. The tiny village that we are encamped by sits in the northernmost mountains of York, placing us deep within enemy territory.

A dotted line marks a route back to Devora and she gasps at where the route has to cross through.

“Are you trying to get us killed?” she almost shrieks as she pushes under my arms and points at my handiwork which does mark a path through certain death.

“He’s been found in their capital, ” I state as I join her at the table’s edge.

“Well then congrats to the Coward King,” she scoffs, “but what business do we have going through there?”

I look at her like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “We’re going to get him on our way back.” “No we are not.”

“And why not?” “It’s…” she pauses, searching for a valid reason to avoid the capital city of York, Brookshire, “your personal vendetta against him is not a reason to risk all of our lives. We will be killed as soon as we are within sight of their walls.

“I’m sure we can devise a way to get in,” I tell her while I start to cover the map, “and it is not a matter of my personal issue with their king. It is a matter of political correction.”

“Political correction? Have you been taking lessons with Stephanos?”

I offer her a small smirk instead of words as I rub at the spikes on my jawline, my scales reflecting the fire’s blaze at Wanda.

“I shall ask again; are you trying to get us all killed?”

I don’t drop my smirk but add to it with a shrug,“Isn’t that how all great military leaders die? In search of a great treasure for their people? ”

Wanda scoffs at her captain’s undesirable need to prove that I am the best, “We are not treasures. We are people no matter what they say.”

“Ah but you Wanda are the greatest treasure that this world has to offer,” I tell her while I grip her shoulders.

“Flattery will get you nowhere with me, you know that,” she sighs. A shiver passes through her and it’s then that I am reminded of how…fragile humans are. York is not a warm place; both in manners and climate but here in their mountain range it is far colder than anything that Wanda would’ve experienced before. Her entire body shakes when the wind brushes through the tents and pushes her way to the front when there is a fire. Some of the others have taken to giving her warm clothing or fabric they find when we pass a village. A few times she’s come to my room at night and wordlessly crawled in, hoping that she would find a pocket of warmth in the thick blankets I collect.

Outside of the tent, I hear Sameul shouting at the others, demanding they be ready within the hour. Footsteps crunch in the snow and horses protest against the cold beneath their feet. This new country is nothing like any of our homelands and it proves to be a worthy adversary as many of us fail to conquer or even assimilate to its conditions. During our nearly year-long expedition, we’ve lost nearly half of our party and things do not look to be any better if we can’t get to her. Soon.

“Praised be the Sfant!”

An elderly woman cries as she shuffles her dying husband out of the small cabin. A hovel really is a better term for the bare shelter that I’m being housed in held captive in. With only two rooms, one being a tiny bedroom and the other the main living quarters, I have little room to practice my ‘gifts’. Although my guards, my captors truly, have clasped thick cuffs wrists to prevent me from leaving. The first time I attempted to run, a thin red string had connected me to my guards and led them directly to me.

I learned to ignore my desperation for freedom rather quickly afterwards.

I try to smile at the woman and allow my body to slump when she is gone. The ache in my bones has not gone away since I woke up in that freezing tower room. Pepper, all too gleeful, explained to me that immediately following my fainting spell, the guards on Anthony’s command attacked the Dragonborn and ‘rescued’ me from the ‘bastardly demons’. My mother had been lost in the battle but Anthony miraculously survived and managed to use her death as yet another example of Dragonborn violence towards York. It became clear with the more I was told that it wasn’t a Dragonborn sword that killed her, it had been a human one.

I’ve grown to believe that it was Anthony’s however I have nothing but hatred and vengeance to support my claim.

Two men, tall, pale, and unnerving, are slumped in the two chairs that were left in the cabin. The taller one, a man with cropped golden blonde hair and a beard to match, is watching her intently with light eyes that unnerve me when I meet them. The other is a dark haired man with similarly cropped hair and facial hair is picking at his fingernails with a knife.

Jonathan, the blonde, stands and places a table in front of the door as an alarm if anyone were to attempt to break in. He tosses a piece of bread to Brock, the dark haired one who gestures towards one of the rooms with the bread as he speaks to me, “Time for bed.”

I can’t help when my eyes roll on their own at his request and instead I decide to clean the altar around me instead. Candles, herbs, and jewelry as well as a book lay around my kneeling body, artifacts from the ineffective ritual I’d just performed. The woman had begged Jonathan and Brock for days to let her husband be seen by me but the two men merely waved her off in hopes that a person with a bigger purse would come by. Finally after sitting at the doorstep day after day, I took pity on her and allowed her in before the assholes could say a thing.

Her husband had been poisoned, the woman claimed as she wiped at his sweaty brow and held him. One look at the black veins that crawled up his neck and were threatening to overtake his face let me know enough; the man had been poisoned but there would be no way for her to heal him. I could only offer remedies to ease his pain and end his life swiftly in his sleep. Dabbing oil on his temples, lips, and behind the ears would ensure that his death would come before the woman even made it to her own hovel.

“Y/N, now,” Brock snaps sternly, his dark eyes beginning to rage at my brazen actions.

I quickly turn my head, the chains and strings of gems that hang from my diadem swinging as I do so, “I’ll go when I’m finished cleaning.”

His eyes flash for a moment before he stalks over to me and rips me up by my arm. He knocks over countless expensive remedies and breaks what he didn’t spill in the process but he shows no concern for it all, not that he ever did. His grip on my arm is bruising and steel- like so I can’t tear myself free. Again my jewelry and other adornments clang together in a painful symphony as I’m dragged across the room; a stark reminder that I am nothing but a living doll to these people and to Anthony.

“You do as I say and quickly,” he grinds out through clenched teeth before slamming the door on me, leaving me in the dark and alone.

I let out a frustrated cry as I tear the undoubtedly priceless jewelry from my body and hair. Letting it clatter to the ground, I resist the urge to break it any further by stomping it or picking it back up to throw again. I’m left in my cuffs and thick layers of robes and dresses I’m forced to wear to look the part of their saint, the Sfant of the Great Rebirth. The heavy fabric becomes suffocating and I tear them off next, shedding the black robes that were embroidered in white and gold before nearly breaking off the buttons to the outer black gown. Similar to the robe, it too is embroidered with white and gold threads but within lays the signature blue of York. A part of me is tempted to burst out of the room in my chemise and throw the foul articles of clothing into the fire but I know I would not be fast enough. The foul men outside would hear my movements before I even made them and would stop me.

Instead, surrounded by the fineries of my captors, I crumple to the floor and cry into my hands. I cry for the people that I cannot save, the people that have died to protect me, for the people that I will inevitably fail, and for the girl that died that night. I cry for the life that I once had where I was insignificant, for the life that was stolen from me when I was bound to the Dragonborn, and for the life that I am forced to live now. I cry harder as the pendant against my sternum weeps and pulses wildly, screaming out to its other half to no avail. The pain and sadness that lives instead of its milky heart has never faded in the year since it was given to me. For an entire year I have felt my very soul being torn in a thousand directions and yearn for the one they all lead to.

I hear the scuffling boots of the men outside my door, no doubt muttering to themselves about how pathetic I am and I wipe at my nose with the back of my sleeve. I get to my feet and gather the reminders of my imprisonment before Jonathan opens the door. Ever the quiet and observing man, he narrows his eyes at me and then scans the room before shouldering in with Brock not far behind. It turns my stomach rotten at the idea of having to sleep in the same room as them but there is no alternative. The first week I had been with them, I tried to escape only to be met with a heaving Jonathan clad in only his pants on the other side of the window. Ever since then, he’s slept under the window and Brock slept in front of the door, leaving me with no way out.

Brock smirks at my state, puffy eyed and barely dressed, and goes to make a filthy comment but Jonathan shoots him a stern glare and the comments stay in his mouth. I should have thanked him for his “protection” but is it really protection when he helped take my captive?

Regardless of his part in my capture, I find myself drawn to him. He is the better looking of the two, tall and corded with muscles from years of training. When he enters a room, he has to duck to avoid hitting his head on the door frame. Since that night I had tried to escape, the sight of his broad muscular chest has not left my mind but I will it away. Instead I try to focus on the stubble of his short beard. Only a mask of stoic duty and harsh words live on his face but sometimes a small smile will take their place. I might have found myself peering at his full pink lips and then up to the pale blue eyes that hide beneath his lashes and thick brows.

But this is not another life and now only malice lives in my heart for him.

Jonathan jerks his head towards the small bed against the wall, silently telling me to climb into bed before Brock forces me to. Not wanting to suffer another bruising grip, I drop the items in my arms at the foot and climb in. I can feel him roll his eyes at my child-like behavior but he doesn’t say a word as he settles onto the cold floor beside me. Brock wishes us both a goodnight laced with something that makes my skin crawl as he too settles in. I quickly turn to face the wall and curl into a ball while my blood pounds in my ears.

Sleep doesn’t find me nor does rest in any form no matter how long I lay there. It feels like hours have passed when I hear something. Beyond the fire crackling and the men’s breathing, I can barely make out the soft crunch of hoofs on snow. My breath catches in my chest as the sound gets louder and the pendant begins to grow warm, nearly vibrating in nervous excitement. I clasp my hand around it as I force my lungs to slow down and try to regain my nerves. The buzzing in my hand has to mean one thing and if I am correct, Brock and Jonathan stand no chance.

A powerful stream of wind whips through the cabin and pins them to the ground, awakening them within seconds from the force. Instinctively I shoot up in bed and am met with the sight of a person covered head to toe in deep red cloth, leaving only their thin pale hands and unnatural red eyes to be seen. I’m so swept up in the stranger’s eyes that I fail to notice men pouring in around them. One thin pale hand removes the cloth covering her face to reveal a woman who’s beauty far outweighs any person that I've ever come across.

A human woman stands before her.

A human woman who commands Dragonborn Knights as if she’s one of them.

The woman cocks her head as she looks over me on the bed and says something in Draconic to a familiar hulking Dragonborn knight beside her. Jonathan growls at their words and struggles against the red wind that keeps him pinned in place.

With a smirk fitting for a snake, she says, “Hello Sfânt Y/N, we’ve come to take you home.”

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fic #marvel imagine #bucky barnes fanfic #dragon bucky imagine #dragon au #dragon bucky x reader #dragon x reader #dragon x human #allies or enemies bucky x reader #allies or enemies

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mizuki-nautilus · 2 years ago

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The Dragon slayer - Malleus Draconia x Reader

So, I thought it would be fun to write a short fanfiction inspired by the popular joke about MC and Malleus having a relationship like Donkey and the Dragoness from Shrek. Of course, this fanfic does not have spoilers from Diasomnia Chapter and is more a parody of Shrek.

The long-awaited apocalyptic event has occurred in this magical realm. Malleus Draconia, the one and only, has finally overblotted, leaving the survival rate of the people living in this world near to 0%.

As the end drew near, all hope seemed lost. But amidst the chaos and the desperate attempts to calm the raging flames of Malleus, Ace's voice cut through the turmoil. "[Y/N]!!!!!! DO YOUR THING!!!" he cried out in desperation. Confused and scared, [Y/N] searched frantically for a safe place to take cover. "WHAT?! What do you mean?!!" she yelled back, barely audible over the roar of the flames. "DON’T ACT STUPID AND DO YOUR THING!!!!" Ace repeated, his voice shaking with urgency.

Despite [Y/N]'s attempts to feign ignorance, she was well aware of what Ace was referring to. She may have tried to act as if nothing was going on, but the truth was that a lot was happening between her and Malleus. Prior to the current catastrophic events, [Y/N] and Malleus had developed a close bond, one that could be described as somewhat cheesy. Though they weren't officially a couple, it was clear that they were for sure a few steps to become one.

And it's not that [Y/N] lacked the courage to flirt with the man of her dreams. Rather, it was the embarrassment of doing so in front of her closest friends. "Sorry, Ace! I didn't hear you!" [Y/N] lied, trying to play it cool. "OH MY GOD, [Y/N], JUST DO AS ACE SAID!!!!" Deuce desperately interjected into the conversation.

“Fuck!” [Y/N] cursed. Amidst the debris, broken pillars, thorn vines, and green flames, [Y/N] sprinted as close as possible towards Malleus, cursing under her breath. As she reached him, she stood before his intimidating frame and trembled before saying, "HEY! Tsunotarou!!!"

[Y/N] stood frozen in fear as his eyes bore into hers, his icy green gaze sending shivers down her spine. The room was enveloped by Malleus's intimidating presence, overshadowing everything and everyone. Tension hung heavy in the air, as he advanced towards her with measured steps that resounded ominously on the ground.

In a voice that seemed to rattle the very walls around them, Malleus spoke to her, his words dripping with anger and disdain, "Child of man…" [Y/N] stammered and stuttered, trying to find the right words to say. "Y-you… um… your teeth… they're… so big!" she blurted out, causing everyone else in the room to facepalm in unison, except for Malleus who remained stoic.

"I MEAN!! White sparkling teeth!!" [Y/N] tried to correct herself, her words stumbled, and her movements became awkward. She even tried to pose seductively, but it only added to the cringe-worthy moment. Grim, unable to believe how bad she was at this, muttered under his breath, "Oh my god, we really are going to die."

After pondering for a moment, [Y/N] spoke up again, "I bet you use some kind of powerful teeth whitening, because your smile is absolutely dazzling." [Y/N] tried to smile back, "And is that a hint of mint I detect? Your dental hygiene must be impeccable." As [Y/N]'s cringe-worthy compliments echoed through the room, everyone winced in discomfort. However, a glimmer of hope emerged as the green flames that had engulfed the college began to subside.

“You are undoubtedly the most HANDSOME dragon in this world,” [Y/N] boldly proclaimed, after that she followed it up with a painfully cringe-worthy joke, "You know if you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber." but even if words stumbled out of her mouth and caused the room to fall silent with secondhand embarrassment the thing seem to work out.

As they watched in amazement, Malleus's menacing expression softened into a tender and affectionate gaze, thanks to [Y/N]'s miraculously effective but cringe-worthy attempts at flirting. It was hard to believe that the unapproachable Malleus Draconia could be charmed by [Y/N]'s terrible flirting skills, but here we are.

Suddenly, Malleus spoke [Y/N]'s name tenderly and reached out to delicately touch her cheek. As his hand made contact, the thorn vines surrounding them began to bloom, filling the room with a lovely scent and enchanting sight of red roses. Some petals even seemed to float through the air, creating an otherworldly atmosphere.

As Malleus leaned in towards [Y/N], the shattered remains of the building suddenly began to repair themselves, piece by piece, until everything was restored to its former glory. The world around them faded into insignificance as their lips met, and at that moment, time stood still. The air was thick with the fragrance of roses, and petals danced around them like confetti. And then, just as suddenly as it had begun, the world snapped back into focus, and Malleus and [Y/N] were gone, leaving behind five opened-mouth people.

Ace began to speak, but was interrupted by Deuce who interjected with the words, "Yes, Ace. It happened," leaving Deuce himself perplexed. Ortho then chimed in, cutely stating that he had everything recorded on his built-in 4K camera, knowing that the cringe moment they had just witnessed could be of use to Idia some day. "That was like a scene from some underground visual novel. I never thought things like that actually happened in real life," said Idia, still dumbfounded.

And with that, our charming heroine was able to rescue this realm from its impending doom.

The End.

#malleus draconia x reader #malleus x reader #malleus draconia #diasomnia #twistedwonderland #disney twisted wonderland #overblot #twst drabble #twst wonderland #crack fic #twst malleus #malleus x mc

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ryuichirou · 6 months ago

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Replies

More replies about recent stuff, plus some random twst stuff pluuuus a reply related to a Malleus sketch from our 🔑🔞twt <3 Thank you for your questions.

thestarlightfae asked:

...Do I want to know what Lilia has on his phone?

Somehow I doubt it… But he wouldn’t mind showing!

Anonymous asked:

Ryuichirou just to let you know your literally the reason why I download Tumblr and I'm so so glad I did so🙇🙇

Oh god Anon, I am very sorry for doing this to you LOL Thank you so much!!! <3 I am glad you’re enjoying it!

m1lk-n-cook1es asked:

Dragon Malleus has six limbs and is therefore an insect. Discuss

(idk if he has 4 limbs in the dragon body but oh well)

Does…that mean that a centaur would also be an insect? This is kind of troubling… 😟

I think this is something we could discuss for hours until Malleus appears and ends this discussion forever, looking offended af :(

Anonymous asked:

Ace and malleus won't be together because ace has no Rizz and no skills. he would fumble malleus so hard he would end up with someone else twice over, who im not sure but definitely someone he has to see a lot

(related to a reply about Ace the donkey to Malleus’ dragon)

OUCH, Anon!! You’re roasting Ace more than Malleus would’ve roasted him while literally breathing fire 😭🔥

Give this boy a chance. That being said, we all know the chance is slim….

Anonymous asked:

about the mosquitoes bites ! If you put a burning hot metal spoon on it for a few seconds the heat will kill the itchiness ! Tested and approved every summers you should definitely do it 👍

My favourite part about posting that mosquito comic is people recommending remedies for the bites…!

Thank you, Anon. I’ll keep that in mind.

Anonymous asked:

Would the twst ppl ever go down of ppl of the opposite sex? Or is everyone just gay? Like Floyd on a female riddle or something

-english is not good with me

“Everyone is gay” is our default because we prefer gay ships, but we don’t really headcanon sexualities for characters. If we ever come up with a good story with Floyd and fem!Riddle, nothing would stop us from indulging in it 💪 There are some that are more difficult for me to see with the opposite sex than the others though.

Anonymous asked:

Do the doms give oral? Like will the dom suck the sub's dick at all or nah?

With you would oral sec be strictly a bottom's job?

It is a tendency in my art to only leave it for the bottoms because it is a personal preference. But I don’t think that all of our tops would be strictly against it on the same level.

I wrote some hcs quite a while ago, if you want a detailed answer about someone in particular! Although I think my bias is pretty obvious lol Sorry.

Anonymous asked:

Okay the post of Malleus laying an egg from a while ago on your locked twt has been driving me so up the walls I haven't even been able to find the words??? I was so gagged when I saw it????

Shota Malleus always feels like he's totally convinced he's mature enough to handle Lilia and anything else you throw at him (he isn't) and him dealing with something like that when he's definitely way too young and unprepared and being completely overwhelmed and scared by it is SO GOOD

I can imagine him calling out Lilia's name in such a broken way, half upset because he just went through something really painful and scary and he wants to be comforted by his caretaker, and half because he's so confused and he has no idea what he should do and he needs Lilia's guidance, when Lilia was the one who put him into that mess in the first place... I worry that Lilia is going to take one look at him and their egg and be like "guess it's scrambled eggs for breakfast!" to cover his own mistake before anyone finds out 😭

(And also...... I just think it's a little hot... Malleus pushing out an egg that's too big for his body all alone in his room with nobody to help him regulate his breathing and pushing?? He just has to figure it all out on his own because he can't/won't call for help??? Squeezing that egg out a little at a time and slowly stretching himself open, before it falls back inside him and he has to start all over again, basically fucking himself on it until he finally gets it out... 🥵)

I am SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT, ANON!! <3 I want to say that it was a very self-indulgent sketch, but then again, everything that we post is lol

Poor Malleus absolutely wasn’t ready for anything like that to happen and he definitely wasn’t told that this was something that could happen to a dragon fae… And Lilia was probably surprised too, looking at him like shoot that wasn’t supposed to happen yet, wtf, “dragon eggs are rare” my ass lol Lilia really fucked up his cycles…

I guess they really are going to have scrambled eggs for breakfast…! God we had so many conversations about Lilia and dragon eggs, I really should finish that one comic from ages ago.

(I’m also glad you find this hot as well~ If definitely would’ve been much easier for him if Lilia was around when that was happening, poor thing probably thought he was dying or something. He often feels alone, but when that happened, he felt especially alone and helpless. It’s honestly a miracle he wasn’t mad at Lilia afterwards, but I guess it’s because he was way too shocked for that)

#replies

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stabby-apologist · 5 months ago

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I never thought I’d relate to Donkey so much until I watched the Desolation of Smaug.

Because OH MY GOD. The way he moved and sounded DID something to me the whole time. Because OOF.

🥵🥵 on god

Like Daddy and then the liquid gold bit, like SIR

And every time he flametorched anything, oh sweet heavens—

But THE VOICE. Benedict Cumberbatch, stg…

Knowing he did all the movements and the growls and EVERYTHING about this sexy dragon. Like…mark me down as scared and horny.

#the desolation of smaug #on god #benedict cumberbatch #I am fire #don’t be shyyy #I am death

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stroobooree · 9 months ago

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Opinions on the new Nintendo direct

Mario & Luigi Brothership: this looks cute as FUCK. I loved Mario & Luigi Dream Team so I already know this is gonna be a banger

Nintendo World Championships (NES edition): I like when Nintendo acknowledges the speedrun community and I will be trying this even though I suck at video games

FAIRY TAIL 2: Generic anime game #1

FANTASIAN Neo Dimension: Generic anime game #2

Nintendo switch sports (new sport): This looks like ass! I’d rather have Wii sports resort please

MIO Memories in Orbit: Yup that sure is a game. Looks cool ig

Disney Illusion Island: Yup that sure is a Disney game

Hello Kitty Island Adventure: IM PLAYIN HELLO KITTY ISLAND ADVENTURE

Looney Toons Wacky World of Sports: Space Jam already sucked ass but at least it was nostalgic. Now it just sucks LMAO

Among Us:

Farmagia: Generic anime game #3

Donkey Kong Country returns HD: OH HELL YEAH I used to play this on my 3DS

Dragon Quest III HD-2D Remake: I think I heard my dad talk about this game once

Funko Fusion: Thanks, I hate it! Absolutely nauseating!

Luigi’s Masion 2 HD: FUCK YEHA BABY DARK MOON’S BACK IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR SO LONG YEEESSSSSSS

THE NEW DENPA MEN: the fuck is a denpa man. Kinda cute ig

METAL SLUG ATTACK RELOADED: I think I heard my dad talk about this game once

Darkest Dungeon II: huh?

Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pack: Sorry what? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of me pirating your games

Phantom Brave The Lost Hero: Generic anime game #4

Marvel vs Capcom fighting collection arcade classics: Eat my ass Marvel capcom W

Super Mario Party Jamboree: I love Mario party games! They tear relationships apart! This looks fun. I like the word “jamboree” that’s a fun word

The Legend of Zelda Echoes of Wisdom: ZELDA PROTAGONIST GAME?!? UM YES???!!???!!??!?!?!? The gameplay in this looks hella fun

Just Dance 2025 Edition: I’ll only be buying this ONLY if they put hatsune miku in there

LEGO Horizon Adventures: Yup that’s a LEGO game. Horizon is pretty cool tho I watched my buddy @web-creep play it

Stray: Kitty! :3 I already have this game on PlayStation sooooooo

Tales of the Shire a lord of the rings game: Don’t care didn’t ask + gollum

Ace Attorney Investigations Collection: Oh my god I finally get to experience the AA game where Edgeworth won’t stfu about chess I’m so excited /gen

The Hundred Line Last Defense Academy: Generic anime game #5 + I dont like danganronpa (I probably spelled that wrong (I do not care))

Romancing SaGa 2 revenge of the seven: Generic anime game #6

Metroid Prime 4 Beyond: Hey that’s my mom! Samus is my mom you guys. I hope Snapcube sees this.

Conclusion? I’m very excited for Dark Moon HD remake and that’s basically it :)

#rambling #opinions #Nintendo direct #Nintendo direct 2024

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callie-flower · 2 years ago

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surprised nobody has made a legitimate Thing for it but shrek can fit hauntingly well with frenrey. somebody help me because i keep watching movies and being like haha frenrey au haha frenrey au haha frenrey au and oh my god . girl . category 7 autism event in my brain right now about them

anyways i am also surprised from what ive seen that nobody has ever cast benrey as fiona considering the whole fandom-wide "can shapeshift into an eldritch beast" headcanon i just thought about that ending sequence in the movie and just. like. oh my god dont fucking touch me like "i thought i was supposed to be human beautiful" "but you are beautiful" its all RIGHT THERE . also initially thought of tommy donkey but bubby would be the dragon so to Me Personally . i think coomer should be donkey instead. it can still kind of work. bubby just has huge dragon vibes idk i think that its sex as fuck

but . that still also leaves empty spaces for tommy and sunkist and darnold and (pounds my fists against the fucking desk) THEY WOULD WORK GREAT IN THE OTHER MOVIES aside from the first... theres no room for them there and its homophobic as fuck

#hlvrai #half life vr but the ai is self aware #half life vr #gordon freeman #benrey #frenrey #dr. coomer #bubby #boomer #tommy coolatta #darnold pepper #i.... actually don't know the ship name for them fuck #now that i think about it. but imagine its there #sunkist #shrek au

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tyrannuspitch · 1 year ago

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been thinking about worldbuilding and. oh my god guys. i know it's a throwaway joss whedon line, but even so... i think bilgesnipe might be jotun wildlife, not asgardian.

what do we know about bilgesnipe?

they have an insulting-sounding name, which at first glance inspection doesn't make much sense. normally, a "snipe" is a small game bird. this could just be a sort of joke, like a tall man nicknamed "tiny", but it could also imply that asgardians see these creatures primarily as things to shoot at. (fun fact: the word "sniper" actually comes from the amount of skill it takes to shoot snipe! bilgesnipe definitely aren't small targets, but they might still be hard to take down.)

meanwhile, "bilge" means the bottom of a ship, and the water that gathers inside it. this might imply that these creature live somewhere dirty... or that they tend to try to sink ships? (let's also remember that asgardian ships often travel the air, not the sea.)

thor summarises bilgesnipe as: "huge, scaly, big antlers". this doesn't precisely match the jotun creature we see in t1 (which i've taken to calling a dragon, for lack of other terms), but it's close. that creature is the size of a whale, with hairless, leathery blue skin and spines down its back - which could easily lead to the misconception that it was scaly. between this creature and the jotuns themselves, massive size and tough skin seem like they might be typical traits of species from jotunheim.

thor calls bilgesnipe destructive and repulsive, and uses them as an example of "uncivilised" behaviour. this reflects asgardian attitudes towards the jotun people, but it's an unusual level of animosity to hold towards an animal - especially considering that aggressive megafauna, even "exotic" ones, are often valorised by hyper-military cultures (all those european coats of arms with lions and tigers...), unless they're frequently in direct opposition.

so what is this opposition? IRL the mediaeval norse has an ambivalent relationship to wolves, because wolves preyed on their livestock. but bilgesnipes have antlers, which, at least on earth, are a herbivore trait. deer/etc can be aggressive when competing for mates or defending their young, but the danger is simple enough to avoid if you just stay out of their way. they're rarely seen as monsters for it...

but large herbivores are very often domesticated as beasts of burden - horses, donkeys, llamas, camels, elephants, and in the arctic, reindeer. and, depending on social context and the hardiness of the animals themselves, some of these beasts of burden go on to be used in warfare.

we already know that jotuns have domesticated large carnivores for military use (or maybe, originally, hunting) - specifically, they run down enemy foot-soldiers like prey on command. it's not a stretch to say there might be other species jotuns use for other military purposes.

SO. specifically. i think bilgesnipe could be giant jotun war-deer, trained to rake and crash low-flying enemy ships ("bilge"-snipe), and to stampede enemy armies ("destroy everything in their path".)

of course, the phrase (idiom?) "battling like bilgesnipe" itself could very easily refer to some natural phenomenon like rutting stags, as a metaphor for hypermasculine competitiveness, rather than anything about the animals in a real military context... but the way thor describes these creatures and the extreme negative attitude he takes to them still feel like something more to me. (and it's just more fun that way.)

(and finally, since it didn't flow above: thor assumes that midgard has, or at least knows about, bilgesnipe. and yes, this could be read as implying they're a completely everyday animal to thor, and therefore asgardian - but i would argue it could also go the other way: they're an exotic-but-familiar creature to him, like lions to a european, and he's carelessly conflating his "lesser realms", like a european thinking lions live in "the jungle".)

#space viking tag #i love assuming the worst of thor it opens up so many beautiful possibilities :) <- guy who will cry if ur mean to thor in the wrong way #meta #s: a1 #s: t1 #th: worldbuilding #th: ethnicity #<- since i don't have a good jotunheim tag atm and this IS ultimately based in prejudice #ch: thor #hmm #highlights #<- why not #bilgesnipe

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inland--empire · 1 year ago

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what friend do. They forgive each other! Oh, yeah. You're right Donkey. I forgive you for stabbing me in the back! You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy. You're afraid of your own feelings. -Go away. -See? There you are, doing it again. Just like you did it to Fiona. And all she ever do, was like you. Maybe even love you. Love me? She said I was ugly! A hideous creature. -I heard that you two were talking. -She wasn't talking about you. She was talking about... ...somebody else. She wasn't talking about me? Well then, who was she talking about? No way, I'm not saying anything. You won't listen to me, right? Right? -Donkey. -No! Ok, look. I'm sorry, all right? I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big stupid, ugly Ogre. Can you forgive me? -Hey, that's the friends are for, right? -Right. -Friends? -Friends. So? What did Fiona said about me? Why are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her. The wedding! We'll never make it in time! Never fear! For where there is a will, there is a way. And I have I way. Donkey? -I guess this is just my act of magnetism. -Oh, come here, you. All right. All right. Don't get all started. No one likes kissass. All right, hop on. Hold on tight. I hadn't have a chance to install seat belts, yet. People of Duloc. We gather here today to bear witness to reunion of our new king... Excuse me. Could you just skip ahead to "I do's"? Go on. Go ahead and have some fun, if we need you, I'll whistle. How about that? Shrek, wait, wait a minute. You want to do this right, don't you? -What are you talking about? -It's the line, it's the line you got to wait for. The priest is going to say: "Speak now or forever hold your peace". And that's where you say: "I object". -I don't have time for this. -Wait, wait. What are you doing? Listen to me! Look, you love this woman, don't you? -Yes. -You want to hold her! -Yes. -Please her! -Yes! Then you got to, got to try a little tender love. -The chicks love that romantic crap. -All right. Cut it out. When does this guy say the line? We got to check it out. And as so by the power of these two... What do you see? -I now pronounce you... -There they go! -...he all ready said it. -Oh, for 'the love of pit'. I object! Shrek? Oh, now what does he want? Hi, everyone. Having a good time, aren't you? I love Duloc, first of all. Very clean. -What are you doing here? -Really, it's rude enough being alive, when no one wants you. But showing up uninvited to a wedding... -Fiona! I need to talk to you. -Oh, now you wanna talk? Well it's a little late for that. So if you'll excuse me. -But you can't marry him! -And why not? Because, because he's just marrying you so he can be king. -Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him. -He's not your true love. -What do you know about true love? -Well, I ...I'm in... Oh, this is precious. The Ogre has fallen in love with the princess. Laugh. Shrek. Is this true? Who cares. It's preposterious. Fiona, my love, we gonna kiss away for our happily ever after. Now kiss me! By night one way, by day another. I wanted to show you before. Well. That explains a lot. Oh. It's disgusting. Guards, guards. I order you to get them out of my sight. -Now! Get them! Get them, both! -No! This marriage is minding, and that makes me king. See? See? -Shrek! -No. -Don't just stand there, you dogs. -Get out of my way. No! Shrek! -And as for you my wife. -Fiona! I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days! I will have order. I will have potential. I will have... All right, nobody move! I got a dragon here and I'm not afraid to use it. I'm a donkey on the edge! Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they? Go ahead Shrek. -Fiona? -Yes, Shrek? I love you. Really? Really, really. I love you too. A time for true love's first kiss... Fiona? Fiona? Are you all right? Yes. But I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful. But you are beautiful. I was hoping this would be a happy ending. God bless us, everyone.

What in the fresh hell

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jamalgripperton46290 · 1 year ago

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The Sharpest Tool In The Shed (Shrek x Lord Farquaad)

Jamal Gripperton's Masterlist

A/N

A/N- Lord Farquaad is alive 4 da sake of the plot m'kay?

•••

Ever since the banishing of Lord Farquaad from his kingdom, the only thing on his mind was none other than the infamous: Shrek, and a feeling of utmost regret and remorse. Regret and remorse of course, due to the way he once treated the fellow ogre. Since he couldn't just forgive and forget, he decided to pluck up his remaining courage to send him an invite to a South African Jungle Safari.

(On him of course)

**Fast forward to 2 days later**

Shrek soon receives the letter and is confused, due to the obvious fact that when they last had met, Farquaad had shown signs of hatred and resentment towards Shrek himself. Nonetheless, he accepted, as curiosity got the best of him. He sent his reply and waited.

**Fast forward another 2 days later**

Lord Farquaad got the letter and was ecstatic! He hopped on the next plane to South Africa, and met Shrek there.

Midway through the trip, Lord Farquaad starts to unveil lost feelings for Shrek, he hadn't known he still had, but quite to his demise, Shrek was taken, he had a life, a wife, and kids along those lines as well (Three, to be precise). But that didn't stop his heart from accelerating at the very thought of his boo: Shrek. Soon enough, the plane landed.

**Fast forward to the reunion with Shrek**

Both Shrek and Lord Farquaad exchanged knowing glances and greetings as they left the airport. And wow, just wow, Lord Farquaad didn't know Shrek had changed all that much to when the last time they had seen each other, and well, to put it simply: He was a hella chunk of a hottie 🥵

Lord Farquaad couldn't help but notice how spectacularly refined his muscles and jaw looked under the blazing, glistening, South African sun and how much taller and stronger he appeared, he would be lying if he said that that didn't do something to his friend downstairs. (;

Midway through the exploration of the unique safari, Farquaad's thoughts were fixated on the refined hunkay chunkay fellow who stood beside him.

"Nice place they got here huh?" Shrek playfully nudged Farquaad's elbow.

"Y-yeah! It's real nice..." Farquaad trailed off, as his eyes were set on the gorgeously sculpted brown orbs, that were in reality, Shrek's eyes.

"You okay there?" Shrek wondered, as he noticed Farquaad's mind wandering to some places hidden deep within the depth of his eyes.

"O-oh yeah! Totally, like super alright" Farquaad babbled, forcing his eyes to fixate somewhere other than Shrek's breathtaking appearance.

"Okayyy? Let's skip the small talk here, how have you been? What's up with life? I wanna know everything from where we last left off" Shrek chuckled, while giving Farquaad a sincere smile that had enough power to just about kill him.

Farquaad couldn't help but blush a scarlet red amongst his pale cheeks while his eyes locked with his one and only true love: Shrek

"Well, where do I start? After they banished me from Duloc, I simply got out there and started working a pretty stable job, it doesn't pay much, but it's enough to get me through the basics. I live in an okay-sized apartment in the borders of La La Land, life's looking up I guess"

"That's a pretty great thing you got there Farquaad" Shrek smiled.

"What about you?" Farquaad asked his green boo.

"Well I suppose all is pretty good as well, I got Fiona at home, and Fergus, Farkle and Felicia just turned four about a month ago, and Donkey's not so bad at this whole 'Dad thing' I guess, he's got his flaws, sure, but he's actually on the right track also dragon's putting up quite wel-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

In a split second Shrek was on the floor, pain pulsing through his veins. He had just got bitten by a venomous snake on his one-of-a-kind thick, green, sausage.

"OH MY GOD SHREK ARE YOU OKAY? I'LL CALL AN AMBULANCE!" Lord Farquaad was panicking he couldn't lose him, he just couldn't, the guilt of Shrek dying here and being alone without his wife and kids, he would never see his godly face ever again, the thought was already clawing at him from the inside.

"I read an article, that you can stop poison from spreading as fast by sucking on the bite" Shrek managed to choke out.

"So what? You want me to suck your icky-sticky meat stick?!" Lord Farquaad couldn't even believe he was awake, was he dreaming?

"Yes goddamnit yes! I like you and this could save my life and fulfill my fantasy" Shrek proclaimed.

Farquaads heart skipped 8 beats. Did they both have the same thoughts and desires for the past 3 years? And felt the same way about each other? Now he really must have been dreaming.

"Ever since I laid my eyes on you, my eyes have never been blessed with anyone else, you are my light and what pushes me to live everyday, even if it didn't seem that way 3 years ago and I truly apologize for that, I desire you Shrek" Farquaad awkwardly confessed with a chuckle.

"Wow... I never knew that, well there's no more time to waste babe, get to it farky-kins" Shrek commented slyly.

Farquaad got to work. Shrek was now pant-less his hard length pushing through the thin fabric of his boxers. He slid those off too and WOW huge isn't even in comparison to his MAGNUM DONG. Farquaad made eye contact as he slowly licked off the dripping pre-cum from the tip of his dong while Shrek was squirming and groaning under his touch.

In a split second, he went all in swallowing him whole, swirling in his eyes fiddling with his balls. Bobbing his head up and down. Licking, sucking, kissing his super magnum green dong. Moans and groans erupting from Shrek every few seconds (they sounded like heaven).

Soon enough, after Shrek finishing multiple times, the ambulance finally arrived. Shrek's swelling was already down and didn't hurt that much anymore. (They still went to the hospital tho) The sexual tension in the ambulance as they drove grew and grew until Shrek couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Come here Farky and hop on" Shrek said as he eyed Farky up and down and round and round.

Farquaad eagerly took off his pants and boxers and sat on his dingle dangle and it felt euphoric. He bounced up and down his ass clapping against Shrek's muscular thighs. Farquaad was convinced he was in heaven, there couldn't be anything in the world that felt better than him bouncing on Shrek.

Soon later, Shrek flipped them over and he was slamming into Farquaad with full force. He could feel his eyes rolling to the back of his head. The ambulance was probs shaking at this point.

"I told you, I'm an all-star far-far" Shrek moaned seductively.

"OH FUCK SHRECKYYYY!!" Farquaad screamed, a pool of white underneath them.

Then the ambulance stopped, they arrived to the hospital and turns out that Shrek was okay. That article really helped.

•••

A/N

Word count: 1220 words

We personally think this is pretty good considering this was our first time writing smth together. This was also the idea that started this book so yaaa pretty cool so it defo needed to be the 1st chapter. What do y'all think of the first chapter ma dudes? Hope u guys stick around and read the rest of these chapters. BAAAIIIIII!!!!

#shrek is love #shrek #lord farquaad #all star #shed

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uncaught-coolfish · 2 years ago

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for the fandom meme, drakengard/nier!

OK. time to go full ADHD

Drakengard/NieR series spoilers below:

favorite female character: Devola from NieR:Gestalt/NieR:Replicant! Firstly, I love redheads, she’s a redhead, and as much as I don’t like how they “prettified” many of the models in the remaster, she looks adorable. Secondly… I just love her personality. That spunky, carefree yet kind archetype is one I love and she is that to a T. Reading “The Red and the Black” novella, as tough as that was, really made me love her more than I already did. And she’s got a great design. Second place would probably be Manah from Drakengard 1, who is also probably my favorite character in all of the games. She is iconic.

Favorite male character? Caim. Caim Caim Caim. Also my favorite protagonist of the games. Even if in comparison to the other games’ protagonists he might not be as “deep”, he’s just… fun. Baby girl. And a monsterfucker. Don’t forget that. Plus, he got the best cutscene in all of the games in Drakengard 2. Holy shit. Secondly would be Emil, given he’s been my profile picture. Emil is the sweetest little guy and I would take him to a Dairy Queen.

Favorite Book/Season/Etc(in this case, game IG): Tie between NieR 2010 and Drakengard 1. NieR 2010 is my favorite game of all time, while Drakengard 1 is my favorite of the 5 Drakenier games EASILY. I’d give an explanation, but I’d need like five other posts to do that :P

Favorite Episode(in this case, a cutscene): THE FUCKING CUTSCENE IN DRAKENGARD 2 WHERE CAIM APPEARS OH MY FUCKING GOD. LITERALLY PEAK. IDC IF YOU ADORE DRAKENGARD 2 OR THINK ITS DOGSHIT IT IS CANONICAL IN MY HEART. THE WAY HE SUDDENLY APPEARS BEHIND THOSE KNIGHTS. THE SOUND EFFECTS WHEN HE STOMPS HIS FOOT AND OH MY GOOOOODDD THE SOUND DESIGN ON HIS SWORD??? THE FUCKING SOUND OF THAT???? HOOOOOOOOO

AND THE SHOT OF ALL THIS BLOOD GOING EVERYWHERE FROM WHEN HE KILLS THE KNIGHTS AND MANAH IS JUST STARING AT HIM…. -^]*]*\€]*\€|*]£]+\€|€]]<|£€|!|]>]€ it’s so good so good and the music they used was also amazing. Runner up is undeniably Kaine’s rant in NieR 2010. There is a fucking reason it opens Gestalt. Don’t even play the game, just watch that cutscene (in English) and you will be hit with impeccable atmosphere and voice acting.

Favorite Cast Member: Laura Bailey!! Her as Kaine floors me every time. I’ll also give props to the guy who voiced 9S because my godddd that was a startling performance. And Yoko Taro himself, for feeding my ADHD his stupid little games.

Favorite ship? As much as I don’t like Drakengard 3 nor Zero herself… Zero x Accord has won my heart. That’s probably just because Accord is very Homura coded but that’s ok. And of course, Angelus and Caim. Fuck Romeo and Juliet, I want what they have. (Dragon and Donkey coded)

A character I’d die defending? Uhhh since pretty much all of these characters are sucky people and the fandom is chill with it… I guess Lady One? Idk lol.

A character I just can’t sympathize with? Zero oh my god!!! I don’t like her. Sorry guys, I don’t like the lady who makes r*** jokes towards the men she takes after killing her sisters, no matter what “good reason” she has for doing so.

A character I grew to love? …Arioch. Fucking… Arioch. She is a horrible disgusting person… but she’s funny about it. Also Jackass from NieR:Automata, I’d go fishing with her!

My ANTI-OTP? Honestly, Kaine x Nier. No real reason why it’s just not my cup of tea lol.

Thanks for the ask!

#ask game #uncaught-coolfish

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faux-fires · 2 years ago

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From the "40 Questions — Meme for Fic Writers": 7, 28 and one of your choice!

Thanks Holly! For the 40 questions for fic writers meme:

#7: Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

this dumb fucking joke from my dragon!fai/kurogane fic, Your Princess is in Another Castle. it's like 10 years old and I don't think anybody following this blog (except my fav scrublord, @mikkeneko) was in it with me, but i still smile to myself reading this fic and if u can't smile at ur own fic, what else is it FOR:

"Oh my god," Kurogane said, automatically, because like most dragons Ashura wasn't wearing any clothes. His knees suddenly felt very weak. "Um," said Fai, his glib tongue seeming to have deserted him. "Hello?" "Can I go?" Yuui asked Ashura. Despairing it was, then. At least he wasn't naked. It was a low bar to meet in terms of presentation, but so far two of the six people in this room weren't making it.

#28: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

Easy peasy! #1, montparnasse, because i adore their poetic prose (as exemplified by the intro to my fav of their fics, the Hawkebella On Southerly Winds):

Once, lost-but-not-lost on a windless night at sea, Isabela told a young sailor, “You’ve got to live like everything can hurt you.” The sailor, new and green as a beansprout, said it was sound advice. She didn’t understand that it was not. It was fact, like iron in the blood.

#2, Spicyshimmy - handers fandom will know why, but i love their clever playing around with tone, their Hawke characterisation is so fun and sad, and Fareweel Regality remains one of my fav unreliable narrator stories. I also enjoy their larger ensemble pieces particularly in the Mass Effect fandom.

It didn’t take Bethany long to corner Garrett in the den, after he’d seen both the seneschal and Saemus out with a wink and a nod and a sigh of relief. ‘What on earth was that all about?’ she demanded, eyes alight with pure irritation, the mark of a truly loving sister. ‘Do you want the viscount’s son to think there’s madness in our family? Because that’s certainly how you were acting tonight.’ ‘Better madness than magic, I’d think,’ Garrett said.

And last but not least, #3, mikkeneko, my favourite scrublord. she can be ur angle:

"Hawke, what's going on here?" Merrill took in the scene with wide green eyes. "What did you do?" Hawke's expression was insufferably smug. "I found out how to use the Mirror of Transformation to make extra copies of myself," he said. "And... viola!" "That's the instrument," Varric muttered out of the side of his mouth.

... she can be ur deville....

"Promise me," Kurogane insisted. "I promise," he said. "I'll... do what I have to, to stay alive." So that you'll have something to come back to.

... but mostly, she's ur mikke.

Somewhere lost in the clouded annals of myth, in the vague spaces beyond the edges of the map where only dragons lie, in places unknown and untread by mortal feet, (do not pass Go, do not collect $200), in just such a dim and murky place, resides a tavern. This mysterious inn can only be reached by -- "How did you lot all get here, anyway?" Wei Wuxian asked. "Unmapped tributary of the River of Souls," mumbled Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Ninth Saint to the Serve the King Undying, the Reverend Daughter of Drearburh and Heir to the House of the Ninth. "Secret paths of Yggdrasil," murmured Loki Laufeyson, Shape-Changer, Sly-One, Wizard of Lies, Thief of Giants, Foe of the Gods and Forger of Evil. "Experimental portals powered by the Elder Blood," said Yennefer of Vengerberg, court mage of Aedirn, hero of Sodden, refugee of Nilfgaard, mother of Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, Lady of Space and Time. "I mean I came here on a donkey, but your things are cool too," said Wei Wuxian.

And ladies' choice, #1: Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

happy endings. eventually. 😎

#writing meme

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blue-corvid · 8 months ago

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Oh man, I love Reign of Fire. What a bonkers movie. The dragons in it really were revolutionary.

I think a big factor in the appeal of this body shape for dragons is that it’s easy to understand how it moves like a real living thing. For a long time, Hollywood dragons had this like stiff, awkward flying dog sort of body movement. It doesn’t make a dragon less majestic and noble to base it on real life animals so it doesn’t move like two guys in a donkey costume. Or, god forbid, just straight up have wings that don’t work if you think about them for two seconds. (Draco Dragonheart my beloathed.)

But that’s no excuse for coasting on one good design! So many artists and animators have put in the work to make dragons of all shapes and sizes look lifelike these days. The four-limbed version is easy to conceptualize, with bird/bat-like movements, but when Hollywood learns to make a six-limbed dragon that moves like a big cat and knows what it’s doing with its wings, it’s over for the wyverns.

Modern Dragon Designs - Where they came from

Your regularly scheduled werewolf facts will return soon. For now, we provide this special, because you may not realize this, but I love dragons. There’s a reason one of my protagonists is basically obsessed with dragons.

Once upon a time, there was a movie - I don’t see anyone talk about it, I’m not even sure how many people are familiar with it…

It’s called Reign of Fire.

This movie shaped the modern Hollywoodian concept of dragons. Seriously, it did. Hear me out.

Released in 2002, Reign of Fire was a movie about - essentially - dragons as that age-old trope of “let’s take one monster and turn them into an overpopulated zombie plague so we can use them to tell a story about humans and make the monster just this brainless evil locust swarm backdrop.” This has happened to a lot of monsters by now.

But wait, these dragons aren’t like the dragons you might be used to: these dragons were completely redesigned from the ground up by the filmmaker(s) in order to make a more “realistic” and “animalistic” dragon that was acceptable by Hollywood, who generally views “dragon movies” (like so many other fantasy things…) as cheesy and silly. Market your movie as a film about dragons and you probably won’t get a deal. Well, turns out, coming up with your own gritty dragon designs worked!

Doesn’t this remind you of every other dragon you’ve seen in a movie for the last, you know, 18 years? Although it actually looks quite a bit cooler than those other ones that came after it

Please note that while I may sound sarcastic, jaded, and often maybe a bit scathing, I mean nothing against the creators of Reign of Fire or director Rob Bowman. I watched the movie in theaters when it released. I applaud Bowman for coming up with unique and interesting dragon designs, in order to have a different take on the creatures, so that they fit the story he wanted to tell, instead of doing what so many people do and completely co-opting concepts without trying to alter them to fit anything and… yeah… okay, I’m not going to talk about werewolf things in this post. Getting back on track:

What I don’t applaud is everyone ripping off Reign of Fire for their own dragons, doubly so because most of these people didn’t even take into account the reasons why it was designed that way. They should have left his dragons alone and come up with their own thing, but at least I guess Bowman can go down in history as the man who designed every Hollywood dragon for over a decade to come - with no signs of stopping - even down to the tail shape.

On Vice, you can find an article and interview with Rob Bowman, the director of Reign of Fire, discussing how he came up with this dragon design and how influential it has become. I highly recommend giving it a read.

Please note the Vice article is clearly written with the bias of someone who “can’t take dragons seriously,” so it’s also a good look at the Hollywood mindset about dragons and how much Hollywood treats fantasy in general like garbage (jerks).

It’s impossible to pretend this movie didn’t basically reshape modern dragons. Let’s get to the details…

Animalistic Design

Dragons in popular culture are generally - or at least they were generally - assumed to be powerful, intelligent creatures, often of a higher nature than humans and other mere mortals. They may be good or evil, but one can’t understate that traditional fantasy dragons are regal and majestic either way.

Reign of Fire wanted to usurp the majestic, intelligent dragon image, creating a smaller, hunched, knuckle-dragging sort of dragon that looks more like an animal - like a pteranodon. This is because the dragons in Reign of Fire are not exceptionally intelligent, noble beings that speak and hoard gold and have the wisdom of the ages. They are brutal hunters that set things on fire and eat everything smaller than them. So this design choice was a conscious one and a smart one.

The dragons in Reign of Fire are meant to be more scientific, more plausible, and also simpler, in a manner of speaking. They are not colorful, magical, ancient fantasy dragons…

Trouble is, everyone took cues from this design for their talking wise noble fantasy dragons, and it… doesn’t really work, at least if you ask me.

The dragon design in Reign of Fire looks like an ancestral throwback, an evolutionary ancestor to the intelligent, talking fantasy dragon, although they are smaller. They’re hunched, they haven’t evolved forelegs independent of their wings… you get the idea. Take a look at the “proto-drakes” in World of Warcraft versus the ordinary drakes, which have tiny dangly T-rex forelegs that haven’t fully developed yet, so they walk like the Reign of Fire dragons.

A proto-drake in World of Warcraft - also say hi to my worgen warrior

So many things taking this design for their intelligent, “higher being” dragons seems kind of… odd to me, to say the least. Unfortunately, Hollywood decided that’s the only way moviegoers can “take dragons seriously,” so here we are.

“Wyvern” - Two Legs vs Four

Municipal arms of Stjørdal, Norway

In medieval heraldry, there came to be a creature called a wyvern. Now, the etymology on the term “wyvern” is a little shaky. It originally didn’t specifically refer to a “two-legged dragon.” It is thought to mean/be derived from words meaning anything ranging from “asp” to “light javelin,” and essentially boils down to a flying serpent. It is noteworthy, of course, that the word “dragon” basically just means “serpent” too.

In heraldry, though, “wyvern” came to refer to a two-legged dragon - at least, if you ask the English, Scottish, and Irish; elsewhere in Europe, they may not be so picky. And now, in modern pop culture (such as Dungeons and Dragons), we often use it in the same sense.

Wyverns weren’t really a “thing” in folklore, just as dragons in folklore didn’t look like our modern idea of a dragon. It’s debatable whether the father of our modern concept of dragons, Fafnir (from whom Tolkien drew inspiration for Smaug), even had wings at all; he was essentially a serpent, perhaps with legs. Point is, wyverns come from heraldry, especially the specificity of two legs versus four.

So now you know why you might see a lot of people (myself included) referring to this design as a “wyvern design” for a dragon.

Dull Coloration - Grey and Brown over Red, Blue, Green…

There’s something else - something very important - that Hollywood took from Reign of Fire… the concept that dragons aren’t pretty colors and are, in fact, various hues of grey and brown, and any more contrasting colors are just vague indications instead of bright red scales.

Now, Reign of Fire obviously did this because - again - they were going for the more animalistic, natural look as opposed to the mysterious majestic magical being look. Okay, that’s fine. But then Hollywood decided that fantasy, too, has to be devoid of dragons with bright colors.

The green dragon in Game of Thrones

There are countless examples of this in modern media. Any dragon that was previously brightly colored has been dulled pretty much to an extreme. Sometimes you might catch a fleeting glimpse of them looking like a brighter shade, but it was probably just a trick of the light. Why? Because all dragons are desaturated to the point of being almost indistinguishable by color.

The golden dragon in The Witcher Netflix series

This is also why you see so many mods on the Skyrim Nexus called things like “true red dragon.”

There are plenty more examples of this - I’m sure you can see the difference when you look at those dragons and other modern film dragons over, say, something like this…

Red dragon in D&D

And now we move on to…

The Fire Breathing - Chemicals, not Magic

Bowman insisted on ditching traditional fire breathing (you don’t want the audience wondering whether the dragon’s mouth is being burnt up with every flame) and again looked to the animal kingdom for inspiration. The king cobra, once again, was a great starting point. It doesn’t spray fire, but it can spit its venom. Even more useful was the bombardier beetle, which shoots two chemicals from its abdomen that, once mixed, create a hot, burning spray. Bowman used these real-world examples to inspire his own dragons. They don’t breathe fire exactly, but rather spit chemicals from two different sacks in their mouths that, when combined, ignite. “That’s anatomy. That’s already been designed, so we’re going to draw from there,” he said.

(quoted from the Vice article linked to earlier in this post)

The Hungarian Horntail in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - fire is streaming from two separate organs in the mouth, but they aren’t chemicals mixing together like in Reign of Fire…

The director of Reign of Fire wanted his dragons to be more natural in that they breathe fire through organic means, based on chemical reactions, instead of the usual dragon magic. But lots of people loved this “mouth flap”/”mouth organ” design with “streams” of fire coming from the mouth instead of fire flowing directly from the dragon’s throat, so now you see it pretty dang often.

Horns? Brow Ridges!

Another thing that is basically out now in dragon designs is the real horns of many traditional dragons, like Spyro, and like the dragons in Dungeons & Dragons used to have.

These days, it’s all about brow ridges and big spiny scales that aren’t separate horns, they’re just big pointed scales or piles of scales or bone ridges - and they aren’t a different color than the dragon’s scales, either, pretty often. And, in general, dragon’s horns have become much smaller and far more numerous, and more like spines/ridges, as opposed to the great, sweeping horns of classical dragons.

Firkraag, the red dragon, in the D&D video game Baldur’s Gate II, from 2000

Firkraag is a very traditional dragon. Now, while Dungeons & Dragons has generally kept more traditional dragons (yay!), they did fall into the brow ridge horn thing - although they, thankfully, didn’t make the horns smaller and subtler and more numerous little spikes, like so many other modern dragon designs. They also went with the brow ridge horns for tieflings (once humans with demon blood, then some weird thing in 4E, and now I think they’re humans with demon blood again), as opposed to the ordinary horns of the tieflings in previous editions of D&D.

Skyrim dragon head concept art

The Desolation of Smaug(’s design)

Here is… a big one. Here, we’ll talk some about the production of The Hobbit films over time, so we’re going behind the scenes.

Alright, so we all know Smaug, probably, by pop culture osmosis if nothing else. He is the quintessential dragon. He’s basically the founder of all Western dragon concepts: he’s big, he’s red, he hoards gold, he’s extremely intelligent and talks, etc. You get the picture. Every dragon that we have borrowed at least something from Smaug. And, in turn, he was inspired by Fafnir, the father of all our dragon concepts, from Norse mythology - but Tolkien took it all a step further and created the concept of dragons that we have today. Or, well, the not Reign of Fire ones. The fantasy ones.

A map drawn by Tolkien: notice the winged, four-legged Smaug over his mountain

During the first Hobbit movie, An Unexpected Journey, we see Smaug attack the Lonely Mountain…

In this clip, you can plainly see that Smaug has four legs. This was actually edited slightly for later editions of the movie, or so I’ve heard (I haven’t watched any later editions).

I can tell you for certain that when I saw the theatrical release, it was like this, too. It is apparent throughout the scene that Smaug has four legs and wings, separately. I know because I was paying very, very close attention, because I was going to be very upset if Hollywood turned Smaug into a wyvern.

Well, they did - later.

Smaug the wyvern looking like just another slightly different take on the bog-standard Hollywood dragon

Apparently, some studio exec decided that having a traditional fantasy dragon, even if this dragon happens to be frelling Smaug himself, would not be okay in this modern Hollywood world. So we ended up with a dull reddish spiney hunching knuckle-dragging wyvern with an angler mouth (I’m sorry; I really am sorry if you like the design, that’s totally fine, it’s a fine design, I am glad you enjoyed it, but Smaug shouldn’t have looked that way IMO and forgive me but I am still in pain over it) in place of a more traditional dragon that held more to things like, I dunno, how Tolkien himself drew Smaug. Smaug’s movie design flies right in the face of that and destroyed our chance to finally see a proper traditional dragon done justice on the big screen.

Tolkien’s art of Smaug - note the position of the forelegs, separate from the wings, like in the earlier map

This is all just one big example why we should be thankful that The Lord of the Rings films were all shot in one go, so no one could alter important things like the design of the fantasy genre’s father of all dragons, in the middle of production. Of course, the production on The Hobbit movies was a nightmare at best, as you can read about in assorted other articles, and Peter Jackson was very unhappy with what the studio had him do to the series. All of that is just another story, I suppose.

Dragons Redesigned by Reign of Fire: Example List

Now that we’ve gone over just a few of the talking points about Reign of Fire’s dragon designs (although I didn’t even get into the flat, spaded tail look in detail), here’s an undoubtedly incomplete list of several examples that have either entirely taken the design and/or were massively influenced by it…

(please note that not everything in this list held entirely to Reign of Fire’s design, obviously; some have the fire, some don’t; some have horns, some have head/brow ridges; but all of them are wyverns and most are darkly-colored)

Skyrim - Obvious influence with the general design, skin/scales and ridges design, as well as coloration; however, it is noteworthy that the Elder Scrolls has had dragons with no forelegs since at least 1998, in the game Redguard - though that dragon was also very brightly-colored (also of note: Peryite, while technically a Daedric prince and not a dragon, had four legs at least as far back as Daggerfall in 1996)

The Hobbit films, specifically The Desolation of Smaug onward - as mentioned before

Harry Potter movies - Wholesale. Two streams of fire from mouth flaps in Goblet of Fire, generally dull greyish and/or brownish colorations, no forelegs, short/simple horns that are mostly ridges…

Gods of Egypt - The giant fire-breathing cobras have the mouth flaps

Game of Thrones - This one’s pretty obvious too.

Disney’s Maleficent - In the new live action Disney movie(s), the dragon falls right into this design (though the fire doesn’t come from mouth flaps)

Netflix Witcher series - Villentretenmerth is very much a wyvern design and a dull shade, and he in fact has no horns at all, even though dragons weren’t portrayed this way in any previous Witcher adaptations

Stargate SG1 (season 10) - In the episode series “The Quest,” a dragon appears and… well, it looks just like all those other dragons, though the fire does come from its throat.

Beowulf (2008) - I try not to ever talk about or think about this film, but I have to just throw out there that the dragon is very much Reign of Fire, especially with that wyvern design.

Seventh Son - If you can call Malkin a dragon - she was called one, I think - she definitely also has the same kind of dull-colored wyvern design.

Sucker Punch (movie)

Lots and lots of B-movies and direct to DVD/streaming films - Dawn of the Dragonslayer, Dragon (2006), Dragon Crusaders…

Something to note, also, is that cartoons, anime, and other non-film media is mostly - but not entirely - free from this influence. Cartoons especially are free from it, partially because they aren’t influenced by Hollywood producers who want “serious” and “realistic” dragons. Cartoons are allowed to have magical, colorful, four-legged dragons. Unfortunately, we are deprived of those in live action film and television, by and large.

There are still other exceptions - most notably things that were created before this influence, like Dragonheart and its spinoffs and sequels, which have thankfully kept their dragon designs consistent instead of erasing their forelegs.

Of course, why dragons are depicted as four-legged and winged in the first place - and when this depiction arose - is another topic entirely. I’m not going into that right now, seeing as how this post is already preposterously long.

Long story short, I was rewatching the movie Gods of Egypt and, when I saw the giant cobra monsters breathe fire, I was possessed to write this article. Because Reign of Fire’s influence is something I have always noticed ever since its release, and something my brother and I talk about a lot (and everyone who knows me has surely heard me talk about it, too) - because, frankly, it’s always bothered me. My favorite dragons are traditional dragons: four legs, bright colors, wings, horns, breathing fire, the works.

So, although the original creator of these design ideas did something cool and different because he wanted to do his own take on dragons, Hollywood decided that these design cues should be taken to dumb down all dragons forever, the same way that Hollywood has dumbed down so many monster designs so that the only acceptable ones just a bunch of near-replicas of each other, including werewolves.

I think it’s very sad that film producers think you can’t take something like dragons or werewolves seriously unless they are dull, nontraditional, and ugly. And I say ugly in the sense of these are not pretty, majestic fantasy designs - they are, many of them, intended to be ugly. Though I personally also hold the opinion that most of them are ugly regardless of if they are intended to be ugly.

So - now you know! If you haven’t seen Reign of Fire, go check it out to meet the father of modern dragon designs, from the color of their hides to the shape of their bodies, the smaller horns, and - sometimes - even their tails.

(Special thanks to everyone on my discord who helped me compile this list, as well as of course my brother and all our ranting at/with each other on this topic over many years)

If you like this post, maybe you’ll enjoy the rest of my blog, where I post a lot about folklore and all kinds of monsters (especially werewolves)!

Werewolf Facts — Patreon

#even I — who dearly loves this dragon design — thought Smaug was just… off….#actually that clip maybe explains it — he was definitely set up to be a four-legged dragon in that scene #like those are clearly front pawsies and not wingies or back leggies right????

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perlapulido · 4 days ago

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Odd Ever After

Summary: "So we will be going against a Dragon in order to get our home back?" Said Analia looking Shrek and Donkey. "You met them havent you?" Said Shrek. "Fair but i might as well join." Said Analia. "Thats my Good Doggy." Said Shrek earning a growl from her.

Ch8

Analia whistled loudly as Shrek and Fiona kissed to the seal their marriage. Her and along the other fairytale creatures celebrated for the newly wedded couple. "Congrats you two." Said Analia. "Thanks Analia. Especially wearing a dress at our special day." Said Fiona. "I never imagine you in a dress but things can happen. I mean look what happened here." Said Shrek. "Mention this to anyone that includes all of you." Analia says looking at her friends. "About me wearing something girly. I will hunt you down and kill you." She says. "Sure you will. I'm just shocked that you wore something like that." Said Shrek. "Thank your Wife. She had to practically fight me to get me to wear this." Said Analia. "You look beautiful but not nearly as beautiful as Fiona." Said Donkey. "Let's go to your Honeymoon and I'm watching the swamp." Said Analia. "No your not. I asked my best friend first so ha!" Said Donkey. "Bastard." Said Analia. "Your Onion Carriage awaits." Said a pink fairy. "Bouquet! Bouquet!" Said the girls. "I'm out." Said Analia walking to the buffet table. She grabbed some wine seeing Shrek going in the Onion Carriage after Fiona. Fiona smiled out the back window and tossed the Bouquet as two girls slapped each other to catch the Bouquet but Dragon caught it with her mouth holding to Donkey who was blushing. "Kiss your Wife! You Ass!' said Analia as Donkey pressed his cheek against hers smiling. "Close enough." Said Analia swirling her glass. She waved at her friends heading off to their Honeymoon sipping her wine leaning her hand on the table and felt something under palm. Looking down to find a white gardenia flower and picked it up before looking around. She smelled it trying to catch a scent and found nothing else but it was freshly picked. "Misty. Did you sneak in Gardenias?" Said Analia seeing the tiny light blue fairy passing by.

Misty made some bell noises as she talked and shrugged before going to the left over wedding cake. "So what do you wanna do?" Said Donkey. "Like what?" Said Analia. "Redecorate the Swamp? Or go karaoke at the bar?" Said Donkey. "Didn't you already sing at the wedding?" Said Analia. "Yes but i can still get the party going." Said Donkey shaking his tail. "If Shrek knew we redecorated the Swamp. He let out the most loudest roar to shatter every single glass throughout the land and kill us." Said Analia. "Karaoke it is. You coming or get yourself drunk?" Said Donkey looking at her glass that is almost empty. "I'm not going to get drunk. Just gonna eat the rest of the leftover buffet with Dragon." Said Analia who Dragon smiled at the idea. "Fine. But you're gonna regret joining Karaoke with me and the guys." Said Donkey walking off with the three little pigs and Wolfie. Analia watched them leave and looked at the mess once half of the fairy tale creatures left. She had Hungry, Dragon, Pinocchio, and the two bears who helping with the cleaning. "Hey Analia. What do you want me to do with the flowers?" Said Pinocchio gesturing the six vases of swamp lillies. "Put them in tree. I'm gonna make a wedding gift for the newly Weds when they get back in three months." Said Analia snacking on cooked rats. She grabbed a huge rat and tossed to dragon to eat along with the rest then licked off the juice from her fingers. "Wait a minute. Anyone seen the three blind mice?" Said Analia. "They feel into the small mud puddle over by Shrek's house." Said Gingy. "Oh thank God. I thought I accidentally feed them to Dragon." Said Analia. "That would've been a disaster." Said Gingy picking up the confetti with a tiny broom. "Speaking of disaster. I talked to one of the seven dwarfs Grumpy and he told me that Lord Farquad is his son." Dias Analia.

"That explains so much." Said Pinocchio. "Don't you mean . . . little." Said Analia laughing. "And he called us freaks of nature when he's one himself." She says collecting the glasses and plates. "And his mom?" Said Gingy. "He just said it was a one night stand from doing a drinking contest." Said Analia. "He didn't want to say her name." Said Gingy. "Nope. But who's gonna help me take the chairs back to the old castle?" Said Analia. "We can help." Said Papa Bear. "They're not very small for me." Said Baby Bear. "Thanks boys. Im also curious. Where's Mamá Bear?" Said Analia. "Resting in the cottage. The guards haven't let her eat,drink, or rest." Said Papa Bear. "Do you want the leftovers?" Said Analia helping with eh chairs after putting the dishes inside the house. "We're alright. She had enough to get herself back up and came to the wedding for a bit." Said Papa Bear folding up the chairs with his son. "Im glad thats over." Said Analia. "So who's the guy?" Said Pinocchio. "What guy?" Said Analia looking at him. "The flowers that you picked up. I know that's not part of the wedding." Said Pincchio. "There's no guy. Besides the wired one at the bar but there's no one." Said Analia putting the stake of chairs on the wagon. "Everyone has a someone. I mean come on Shrek just got married. Even Donkey is married to a dragon." Said Gingy. "That was just dumb luck. If Farquad didn't send us to Fiona. We never had been friends, Fiona would be back on Tower, and all of us would have been miserable or dead." Said Analia as the couch men came from the outhouse. "Dragon is in charge." Said Analia sitting next to the couch men. She watches the swamp getting smaller and smaller then looked down seeing the Gardenia again. Analia knew she left it back on the buffet table and didn't touch again while she was cleaning. She picked it up looking at it again but felt the wagon suddenly dtop making her fall off. "I'm sorry. We hit a pithole. It won't take . . . long. Uh you got a bloody nose." Said the couch man looking at her. "Go I'll catch up once in cleaned up." Said Analia walking to the river close by. She held her nose to stop blood from pouring more and kneeled down to wash her hands and face. After a few minutes Analia looked at her reflection and gasped seeing the hooded man from the bar standing behind her. He didn't really look like a man from the dark shadow being casted by his hood covering his whole face. Analia can only look at his red eyes staring back her and turned around growling baring her canines with her claws out but saw nobody behind her and looked back seeing only herself in the reflection. "I'm loosing my fucking mind." Said Analia walking to the village.

#shrek franchise #dragon shrek #fiona shrek #donkey shrek #fanfic

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