#oh my god im a mess

[bloominglegumes]

i love normal guys doomed by the narrative

[shaadowmilkcookie]

One of Shadow Milk’s many prop replicas of himself, left behind. Even though the eyes are forever staring straight into the distance… Oddly enough, you still feel like you’re being watched.

But surely, though, it won’t hurt to take it home and touch up the colours, right? :)

[heartorbit]

a new world together

[nadjasnandor]

nandor being normal about derek in 5.10

[the-incredible-auraa]

I love how they put the entire budget in this singular shot where ryusei walks in

[sabh0]

Little rant and probably a controversial opinion, please don't burn me at the stake for that If i asked you to guess how many dazai anon accounts have i blocked here till now, what number would u think of? Bc i just checked - i currently have 9 of their accounts blocked. 2 from this week alone. And it's not like i go around hunting for them. I just randomly open tumblr to check what silly things did ppl say about my art, and then i see 50 different reblogs, comments or asks from dazai anon alone, being no longer only mean to Chuuya or skk, but bashing my art or telling me to off myself!!! Yay!! And u know, it wasn't a problem in the beginning. The stuff they write is comedic with how stupid it is. I could also interact with em smh (ngl, they left me for a good while after i drew them and chuuya making out that one time). And as i said, before they didn't attack me personally. But then i started getting comments that i shouldn't interact with dazai anon bc something something they're mentally unstable? Like im sorry, but how is this my problem. They come to me and regularly tell me to hurt myself, but i can't even reply to them bc "sab, it's no use, they're sick smth smth smth, just block them"?? Like bruh aight, it's just that sitting silently actually starts to affect me. Bc no matter how many accounts i block, they come back with a new one the moment they realize they're blocked. And the whole carousel of "block, dont interact" starts again. I just think it's not really alright to tell ppl that they can't in any way stand up for themselves? Why do i have to care about personal wellbeing or a sad backstory of someone who doesn't respect mine? Why should i even know about their problems? They're a complete stranger to me and i don't really go around reading random people's biographies on the internet. Like aughhh it's seriously starting to annoy me now,,,, i'm not saying ppl ACCEPT what dazai anon does, but using the excuse that they're not okay mentally just doesn't sit right with me, idk. Mental health problems should never be an excuse for hurting others, imo.

[yume-fanfare]

gentle rejection

[randomminty]

He’s telling everyone increasingly horrifying bug facts

[someawkwardnerd]

the end of the end

[sonyshock]

Not a suicide note.

I try my best to be nice and professional and I restrain my art and my thoughts and my image to the most strictly nice I can be without faking it. (Faking would be something I do not want for myself after all(

I do not want to hurt anybody, and I don't want anybody to be unhappy because of my actions, there would be no point in that. I want to lay in my lane, safely away from others, and explode, I want to burn bridges, I want to break apart and not feel tied by 'what if'. I have no friends who would defend me. I am always terrified of what will happen if I relax. If I say or do anything that can (and will) be interpreted wrongly, nobody is going to say 'Wait, this is out of character'. They will just assume anything good about me was wrong. So all I can do is choose not to say things that can possibly be considered unpopular. Unpopular can be deconstructed into toxic. Toxic can be deconstructed into cancellable. Cancellable means I will be alone.

There's people on the internet that have been considered 'ok to bully', who the fuck am I to believe when I look at them, i'm not looking at myself? And I'm dying. I want to die. I want to stop worrying. I want to stop being a good person when nobody needs that good person. I am building up good rep because I hope it will pay off eventually , but I'm starting to rip at the seams. If I die I won't have to hope somebody acknowledges me.

EDIT: Actually writing this down helped me relax a little. It's not that I don't feel it (I do know it's going to come with a vengeance and this is just the aftermath of a lot of stress) but I wanted to write this in addition.

It might also help alleviate the pressure some people might feel after reading it and feeling they have to help but don't know how.

Man, I just know this is going to break my life in two, umh? But perhaps I am not done for the life I was aiming for...

[tmos-time]

Have you ever done Erisol bloodswap designs before?

ive drawn a couple specifically for eridan, and have talked and bounced around ideas in length about a LOT of erisol ones in dms LMAO; the one that keeps making me lose my mind (thats my own thing to share at least LOL) is cerulean sollux and olive eridan

im PRETTY SURE, if i remember right, this is specifically based on inverted colors; eridan is green when inverted which leads to olive + his quirk and nicknames being inverted too lol. meanwhile sollux's inversion from yellow to blue probably SHOULD have been indigo, but god... the idea of sollux being themed around using bad luck was too good to pass on making him cerulean LOL. he's probably more of a ttrpg nerd over a tech nerd in this swap too lmaoo

[platformcowboyboots]

can someone in chat post "eleven" by sandra cisneros

[iswearthatimtryingmybest]

so why couldnt they be happy tho

[around-your-throat]

self-indulgent schmoopy stuff (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ

[dromaeo-sauridae]

one day i will figure out how mechanical stuff works for now have this

[samzier]

so uhh. joel amd iskall. On iskalls newest stream. are we normal