#oh my god i love em i LOVE WRITING HOW THEIR DYNAMIC HAS DEVELOPED

[skullvins]

y'all taking a break and coming back to your writing HELPS can't believe I've managed to continue from what I thought was a really boring section

[charmspoint]

Top 5 characters that live in your head rent free 🤔

For this ask meme

Oh god ONLY five??? GOOD QUESTION. This is gonna be hard to both decide on and rank fairly uhoh lets see, this ranking his shifty as hell depending on what I’m into atm obvs

5. Tsurugi Kamiya from Servamp

Does he look like a knock off Izaya? Yes. Is he? Very much no.

Tsurugi is like my no 1 reason for getting back into Servamp, I left right in the middle of his arc and I ;-; IS HE OKAY??? DID HE GET AWAY FROM TOUMA??? DID HE BECOME WRATHS EVE??? NOBODY TELL ME I’LL FIND OUT ON MY OWN.

Servamp was one of those shows where I didn’t really have a fav main character for a good while until this guy showed up. This guy is an absolute crazy little monster I can’t overemphasize on this, his coat is used as a fucking straight jacket I’m not even kiddin

You get introduced to him and he’s scary and terrifying because he’s so strong, like he’s one of those strongest in the series characters and since he and the heroes are on semi opposing sides he is a serious threat. So you get introduced to this guy who seems borderline crazy and feral and then...you get to see him goofing off with his two boyfriends and their kid and it’s just

The domesticity!!!!Look at it!!!! It’s so fucking cute aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, they are so cute together OT3 of C3 ftw, MY SON. Like Tsurugi had a horribly abusive childhood and was basically raised like an attack dog and his previous partner :) well he do be trying to seriously kill him don’t he. But look! He found his own little family he can be semi normal in!! Until is torn apart by his abusive adoptive father figure :D!!! I ABANDONED HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT ARC AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im sorry this got so long on this particular character none of the others will be so long i just miss him TSURUGI ILL CATCH UP FOR YOU!!!! Maybe he should have been no 1 hbjhbjh fucking sleeper agents am i right

4. Izaya Orihara from Durarara

Ah yes, the og queen bitch. Has my taste for villains ever recovered from Izaya? No. If your villain isn’t at least a bit like Izaya I’m not interested. Durarara was one of my first serious fandoms and Izaya was the first character I ever wrote for and I think you can explain me as a person if you consider Izaya was my all time fav at 13. I can’t really say anything about Izaya that hasn’t been said thousands of times before, I love how goofy and overperformative he can be, I love how there’s so much in him once you crack him open, I love how good of a villain he is for a messy story such as DRRR, puppeteer villains are really a league of their own. We need more puppeteering twinks, maybe then I’d be more into villains yaknow.

3. Hawks from Boku no Hero Academia 

To no ones surprise!Him! I’ve been drifting off from BNHA recently what from catching bad case of JJK what from just reading n watching more other stuff and honestly that’s probably good because I’ve been into BNHA for a couple of years now as my main fandom and I really could have used a break. Not to say I don’t like BNHA anymore tbh I think right now BNHA is the best it’s ever been just ya know, drifting. That being said my love for Hawks will never die, god what a good boy and we got his backstory too aaa ;-;. BNHA was just like Servamp, something I liked but didn’t really have a fav character in until this random support character strolled in and won my heart. God I love how much we got on Hawks. He’s completely different from his initial impression and his unrelenting strive to do good despite being thrown from one horrible situation to the next is just ;-; HES SUCH A GOOD BOY. He’s selfless to a fault, literally putting everyone before himself and putting himself down for not being able to achieve more than is humanly possible I’m just ;-; I WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY. He just makes my heart happy, he’s good and warm and hardworking and in a manga where trauma plays such a major role in so many characters it’s so good to see Hawks there, having been through three different types of hell and still coming out unnerving in his goodness. All I want for him is to have a good life and to one day be able to smile for real.

2. Gojo Satoru from Jujutsu Kaisen

Again no surprise since I’ve been so into jjk lately. Satoru is p high up rn cuz I’m mainly into JJK now but god knows where he will actually settle. He’s not even really my favorite character in the show, that goes to Inumaki, but this is a list of who I think about the most (tho all of these characters are either no 1 or no 2 for their shows) and boy my brother and foxy can tell you I’m constantly thinking about this bitch. I didn’t really care about him that much at the start but then I got to Hidden Inventory and OH BOY MUCH TO THINK ABOUT. Satoru is such a wonderfully complex character whos evolution you can clearly follow through the years. He’s under so much pressure as the strongest sorcerer to deal with everything and he has to operate in that system trying to change it for the better while at the same time trying to make sure his students arent sacrificed in the name of that change. He has a very goofy disposition but along side with Nanamin who’s a lot more explicit about it, it’s clear he cares about mental state of his students a whole lot. He knows this world is terrible and that the will come out of it with scars and that he can’t protect them from all of it, but he balances protecting and letting them grow as much as he can. They need to grow so jujutsu society can change after all, but they also need to be protected so they don’t fuckin die before that can happen. This is without all the many many opinions I have on Hidden Inventory and SatoSugu as a whole, how they influenced each other, how differently they reacted to their shared trauma (Funny how everyone on this list is fuckin traumatized) and what resulted from it. How their fucking love story is dramatic enough to be a Shakespeare play. Also I like it when he’s long and goofy ahahah

1. Chuuya Nakahara from Bungou Stray Dogs

Not to objectify men on main but I couldn’t choose a picture 

If there is ever a day when I don’t go feral over Chuuya I’ll probably be dead. He not only lives in my head rent free he owns the place.

HES SO UNDERUSED.

BSD has such a great setup with Chuuya, like he’s ex partners with the mentor of the main character who got betrayed and abandoned when the mentor left shared evil organization. Sounds like grounds for drama right? YOUD THINK SO. Like Chuuya and Dazai have such a great and interesting dynamic and you can feel how strained it is from the distance and betrayal and they bicker and fight as their defining relationship trait BUT there is such a strong underlying trust to all the fighting. These two trust each other with their whole lives and that hasn’t changed despite everything, despite how much time has passed and how much that trust had been tested. So you’d think he’d be an important character :) HES STUCK IN SUPPORT HONESTLY HES STUCK IN BACKGROUND UNLESS HES NEEDED TO DO SOMETHING COOL AAAAAA. Chuuya is literally one of a kind, I’ve never seen a character with such a good design and such an cool power and such an interesting relationship to one of the main characters and such a love and support from the fandom BE SO UTERLLY AND COMPLETLY WASTED. Even when we get Chuuya scraps they rarely build on relationship he has in canon but just throw in new random ones at him (tho that’s a broader problem of Kafka throwing new characters at the plot instead of developing the one he already has really). We get a hint of a cool fight with him? Completely cut out, More often then not it just feels like he is benched because he’s so damn strong there would just be no plot tension if he went in and broke some heads (which is also a problem with Satoru, guys stop writing op characters if you’ll just put em on the bus aaa). Anyway he’s completly and utterly wasted by the plot.

And it’s such a waste because he’s such a good character. Like he’s a member if the villain organization and is obviously by that very vicious and violent but also so empathetic and kind to people he considers his friends. He and Dazai have the brawn and brain thing going on and stg Chuuya is like the only brawn I can think of that is classier then their brain. Look at how this guy dressed, he’s high class gay, hat, choker, coat, gloves, he is bringing in the looks. I love how he can actually be completely calm and rational and put together but then put him with Dazai and it’s back to ‘we are 15 and we will scream out heads off at each other’, they are so childish. 

Anyway I love Chuuya he deserves to be treated better and I will never stop screaming about Chuuya ever

[chateautae]

🐘 Elphie anon:

Hi Sammy! Do you still remember little ol' me? I wanted to send you an ask or message when ch 8 initially came out but online class kicks you hard until you fall only to punch you stomach when you're finally able to stand back up. But honestly, reading ch 8 (the angst, the comfort, the yearning, the haWt smut) feels like a reminder of the things that we have in this life that we can enjoy to the fullest, and sometimes we take em for granted; like the taste of air in our lungs and out, breathing solemnly, taking the time to remember we're living despite the aches. It's a (maybe) weird thing to say but stories like yours make me happy that I'm alive.

My heart and wishes goes out to you, and for anything and everything that is imporant to you. I hope you're taking care of yourself (eat well, take rest, even just deep breaths in between hectic schedules) and that your midterms (??? Are they done srry idk) are going well. Much more, that your mental health is in the condition that you want it to be, good or improving; I really wish that you're happy and peaceful.

38k of chp 8 is a killer, I enjoyed every single word of it. I read that you think it isn't your best, and I understand that kind of sentiment, but really (just reread it) it still stands solid that you are a very gifted writer. I especially love that period of yearning and very undefined plus conflicting for OC and Tae, their feelings made me feel so hopeful for them. But for every scene that passes and they still haven't came to understanding what the conclusion is for their relationship really amplified angst and my heart can't help but feel hopeless. And then, the club part came and just wow, the dynamics of this duo is just so HaWTtttttT.

I do want to applaud you for those heavy scenes, esp for the anxiety. I think you did a nice job with detailing the effect of the nightmare and thw memory of a toxic relationship on YN, it felt so familiar and raw. Idk im sorry if im wrong, but there's some parts of her actions during that scene that i do. (I hope it wasn't very distressing for you to write, romantic angst is heavy but these kind of things can happen to anyone, hearts and hugs idk hhfhfhf)

The smut cant even---- oh my, I think I developed 463738292 more kinks just because that smut. The eye contact and the "say my name" just yeeted my soul out. My soul really said "fkc this i want a gOod man right noW, i need That Sht EYE CONTAct" and I'm too young for kids and I'm not saying impreg kink, but imreg kink. Good sex choices yall.

Sammy, you beautiful and talented soul, all the best for you luv, im pumped for the tae work out fic. You deserve the universe, hun. Hope everything works out good in your present and future.

Congrats on hitting milestones!!!

My-my writing makes you feel alive? Oh God, I need to take a moment because that is literally so beautiful for any author to hear. I’m so so glad my writing has been of any help to you and can bring you happiness, it’s all I ever want as a writer. I’m so happy you loved the chapter despite the length because it was SUCH an insecurity of mine when uploading, and I feel so warm hearing you loved reading about the characters and their feelings!! 

Seriously I’m over the moon hearing that because I approached this chapter with lEnGtH since this couple has too many of their own obstacles to tackle and many feelings to navigate, so I needed to address their inner turmoil and reconciliation carefully! I did not have the heart to write an instant makeup or have them sweep things under the rug because their issues were too pressing, there needed to be a period of separation where they could individually work things out and realize they genuinely love the other enough to give themselves another shot. This rift showed their personalities indeed clash but it’s the way they accept the other and deal with their issues is what defines their relationship!

Wow, I’m actually impressed you picked up on that about the nightmare... yes it’s from my own experience. Kiseok is based on a real person in my life so I think that’s why those scenes feel so raw, and at times it was hard to write them because they were so close to home but it’s also a form of healing for me, so everything’s okay my love ❤  

YES THE SMUT SCENE I actually still need to edit it again but I’M GLAD!! Hehe eye contact and name kinks and impreg kinks are VERY hot and I’m glad I’ve brought you to the dark side 😈

Thank you so much for this elphie anon!! Your message was a treat to read and has kept me motivated to keep writing, you’re such a sweetheart, and I hope you know how wonderful your kindness is, and of course I’ll always remember you🥺💓

[theredherb]

The Red Herb’s Top 10 Games of 2020

Hey, fuck 2020. You might notice that many of the “Best Of” lists you read this year and last can’t help but mention how terrible 2020 was. That’s because every day was like hitting a new, splinter riddled branch on our 365 day plummet off a shit-coated tree. The year brought with it a viral pandemic that served as a pressure cooker for the societal and systemic issues boiling beneath the surface of our every day life. And we’re not out of it. 

At least one positive holds true of 2020: the games were pretty darn good. One has to wonder, though, if 2020 was the last year of what can be called “normalcy” for the video game industry. Now that the remainder of titles brewed in pre-Covid times are out in the wild, what will the future of gaming look like as studios shift to work-from-home and distribution models migrate to digital as the primary bread winner? What will games look like going forward?

I have no fucking clue. We’ll get there when we get there. But looking back, I’m glad to have had such solid distractions from the stress and strife. If 2020 is any indicator for the industry going forward, then my takeaway is that games will continue to grow in prominence because of their ability to help us cope and, more importantly, stay connected.

Anyway, here’s video games:

10. MARVEL’S AVENGERS

Oh, Marvel’s Avengers. I know you expected to be on more prestigious Top 10 lists than mine. Truthfully, I debated whether or not you should be here. But I had to search my soul (stone) on this one. Really assemble my feelings. Tony Stark my thoughts (?). Here’s the short of it: Marvel’s Avengers has a great story campaign with a surprising amount of emotional weight thanks largely to Kamala Khan’s quest to reassemble the heroes of her youth. Once the final cutscene ends, though, players were expected to take their play box of Marvel heroes, jump online, and duke it out against hordes of villains for the privilege of precious loot and level gains. It would be impossible to get bored because Crystal Dynamics was going to continually Bifrost in new quests, cosmetics, and heroes -- for free!

Except, after fans blasted through the campaign (took me a solid weekend), they found a multiplayer mode filled with repetitive fights against non-descript A.I.M Bots, a handful of dull, un-Marvelous environments (the PNW?! In a video game?! Wowwee!), and a grind for gear that became useless minutes after it was equipped. Oh, and bugs. Tons of bugs. It must be hard for A.I.M. to take earth’s mightiest heroes seriously when they’re falling through the fucking earth every other mission.

So why the Kevin Accolade™? Of all the mistakes and underbaked ideas, Crystal Dynamics got the most important thing right: they made me feel like I was a part of the Avengers. Cutting through the sky as Iron Man; dive bombing, fists-first as the Hulk; firing gadgets at cronies as Black Widow; cracking a row of skulls with Cap’s shield… Avengers is a brawler on super soldier serum.

The combat is crunchy and addictive, and surprisingly deep once you unlock your character’s full suite of skills and buffs. The gear matters little. But choosing a loadout that works for you -- like ensuring enemy takedowns grant you a health orb every time or turning area clearing attacks to focused beams of hurt -- does matter. When it comes to games with disastrous launches, Avengers is the most deserving of a triumphant comeback story because, if you clear the wreckage, I think there’s a solid game here. If I was able to spend hours playing it in its roughshod state, I can see myself digging in for the long-term once it’s polished up and given a healthy dose of content. You know...if Square Enix doesn’t outright abandon it.

9. STREETS OF RAGE 4

Here’s a fact about me: I love beat ‘em ups. From Final Fight to X-Men to The Simpsons, I prioritized my quarters for the beat ‘em up machines (and House of the Dead simply because House of the Dead fuckin’ owns). Unfortunately, Streets of Rage wasn’t in arcades, and I didn’t own a Genesis growing up, so I didn’t get around to the series until Sega re-released as part of a collection. Though my history with the 29 year old brawler is shorter than some, the basics stand out out right away: it’s an awesome side-scrolling brawler filled with zany character designs and high octane boss fights.

SoR4 nails that simple spirit while adding an electric soundtrack, buttery smooth animations, and an art style that looks like a comic book in motion. You can button-mash your way through the game or master your timing to combo stun the shit out of bad guys. Same screen co-op is a requisite for the beat ‘em up genre but I have to call it out nonetheless given that it's next to obsolete these days. The story campaign is, of course, finite but a stream of unlockables and a Boss Rush Mode pad out the package nicely.

I really don’t have to go on and on. I’m on board with any game that captures the arcadey high of classic beat ‘em ups, and Streets of Rage 4 does it with flare.

8. RESIDENT EVIL 3 REMAKE

Resident Evil 2’s remake was my game of the year in 2019. It’s a pitch perfect revision that captures the pulse-pounding fear of the original while beautifully updating its graphics and gameplay for modern audiences. The most striking aspect of RE2’s remake is how it expands and reconfigures the classic game’s environments and set pieces. Capcom managed to recontextualize, and even improve on, the original’s design while staying faithful to its tone and atmosphere.

Resident Evil 3’s remake is less successful in modifying and improving on its source material. If the game feels like it was handled by a different team than RE2R, your gamer hands have good eyes (roll with it). It was developed by a separate internal team (three different teams, in fact), but that’s actually one of many choices mirroring its 1999 forebear. Just like the original, RE3R is a tighter (i.e. shorter) experience that launched less than a year after its predecessor. And just like the original, the game skirts away from survival horror in favor of action horror.

Unlike last year’s remake, however, RE3R paints in broad strokes with the original material much in the same way that 2004’s Dawn of the Dead remake shared a vague resemblance with Romero’s ‘79 classic. Capcom at least nails down what matters: you play as Jill Valentine, beaten and discredited after the Arklay Mountains incident, during her last escape from the zombie besieged Raccoon City. Her exit is complicated by Nemesis, a humanoid missile that relentlessly pursues her from minute two of the game. Her only chance of making it out alive is by teaming up with a gaggle of Umbrella dispatched mercenaries, including an overly handsome fellow named Carlos Oliveras that you control for a spell. But fans struggled to get over what Capcom didn’t remake. Several enemies, boss fights, and a “divergent path” mechanic that had you choose how best to escape the Nemesis in a pinch were omitted from the remake. Even an entire section set in a clock tower was cut. But, let’s be honest, the biggest omission is a secret ending where Barry Burton saves the day using only his beard. For real, YouTube that shit.

If you look at what the remake does instead of what it doesn’t, you’ll find a lightning paced action game highlighted by tense, one-on-one fights against the constantly mutating Nemesis. The tyrant’s grotesque transformations evoke the mind-rending, gut turning creature designs found in John Carpenter's The Thing. It’s sad that Nemesis doesn’t pursue you through the levels as diligently as he did in the original, or as Mr. X had in last year’s remake, but these “arena fights” end up being harrowing and fun, culminating in a memorable final encounter. The remake also treats us to the best incarnation of Jill to date. She’s a cynical badass, exasperated at how Umbrella upended her life, and can take a plunge off of a building yet still muster enough energy to call Nemesis a bitch. RE3R also shines thanks to its snappy combat, including a contextual dodge that feels rewarding to pull off, less bullet-sponge enemies than RE2, and an assortment of weapons to get you through Jill’s Very Bad Night(s). It makes for a necessary, though shorter, companion to last year’s stellar remake.

7. HADES

I’m experiencing a new type of shame including a title that I haven’t beaten on my Top 10 list, but I can assure you that I’ve dumped hours into its addictive death loop. It’s probably because of my resistance to looking up any tips, but given the skill-check nature of the difficult boss fights, I’m almost afraid the top shelf advice will amount to “die less, idiot.”

My failings aside, Hades is brilliant. It’s the perfect merger of gameplay and storytelling. You play as Zagreus, son of Hades, and your entire goal is to escape your father’s underworld domain. You pick from a selection of weapons, like a huge broadsword or spear, and attempt your “run,” seeing how far you can make it before an undead denizen cuts you down. It’s familiar roguelike territory, but where Supergiant separates their game from the pack is in the unique feeling of constant progression, even as you fail. With each run, not only is Zagreus earning a currency (gems or keys) that unlock new skills that make the next go a little easier, you’re also consistently treated to new lore. The fallen gods and heroes that line your father’s hall greet you after each death and provide a new insight into their world. The writing is bouncy and hilarious, the voice acting ethereal and alluring, and the character designs could make a lake thirsty.

Supergiant’s stylistic leanings are at their peak here. They’ve managed the impossible feat of making failure feel like advancement. Sure, it totally fucks up other roguelikes for me, but that’s okay. None of those games have Meg.

6. DEMON’S SOULS

Whereas Capcom takes liberties with their remakes, Bluepoint took the Gus Van Sant approach and made a 1:1 recreation of the 2009 title that launched the “Soulslike” genre. The dividing difference is a 2020 facelift brought to us by way of the PlayStation 5’s next-gen horsepower. There’s been online arguments (surprise) regarding the loss of Fromsoftware’s visual aesthetic in translating the PS3 original in order to achieve a newfound photorealism. It’s true, some beasties lose their surreal weirdness -- a consequence of revisiting designs without the worry of graphical or time constraints -- but the game’s world is still engrossing, morbid, and bleakly gorgeous.

That’s not to say all Bluepoint did was overhaul the graphics and shove this remake out the door. No, their improvements are nuanced, under-the-hood changes that gently push the genre into the next-generation. For one, the loading times are incredible. You could hop between all five archstones in under a minute if you wanted. And this game is a best DualSense controller showcase outside of Astro’s Playroom. You can feel a demonstrable difference between hitting your sword against a wall compared to connecting it with an attacking creature. Likewise, the controller rumbles menacingly as to let you know enemies are stomping across a catwalk above you. “Better rumbles” was not on my wish list of next-gen features, but the tactile feedback goes great lengths to make you feel like you’re there.

Granted, sticking so closely to the original means its pratfalls are also carried over to the next-gen. The trek between bonfire checkpoints is an eternity compared to the game’s successors, and Fromsoftware hadn’t quite mastered the sword ballet of boss fights prevalent in Dark Souls. Instead, a handful of bosses feel more like set pieces where you’re searching for the “trick” to end it versus having to learn attack patterns and counters. Still, it’s easy to see the design blueprint that bore a whole new genre. From having to memorize enemy placements to hunting down the world’s arcane secrets in the hopes of finding a new item that pushes the odds in your favor. Bluepoint’s quality of life improvements only make it kinder (not easier) to plunge into the game, obsess over its idiosyncrasies, and begin to master every inch of it. That is until you roll into New Game+ and the game shoves a Moonlight Greatsword up your ass.

5. YAKUZA: LIKE A DRAGON

Here’s a fact about me I’m sure you don’t know: I love beat ‘em ups. Streets of Rage 4 had an easy time making it on this list because it can be classified as both a “beat ‘em up” and “good.” Here’s another fact about me: I’m not the biggest fan of JRPGs. I’m told this is not because of any personal preferences I harbor, but rather due to a distinct lack of culture. I’ve made peace with that. At least my uncultured ways are distinctive.

But my disinterest in JRPGs is notable here because it illustrates how very good Like A Dragon is. Transitioning the Yakuza series from a reactive brawler (entrenched in an open-world SIM) to a full-blown turned-based RPG was risky -- especially 8 entries into the mainline series -- but it pays off explosively for Like A Dragon. Not only does the goofiness, melodrama, and kinetic energy translate to an RPG -- it’s improved by it. Beyond a new protagonist -- the instantly likable and infinitely affable Ichiban Kasuga -- we’re finally treated to an ensemble cast that travels with you, interacts with you, and grows with you. Their independent stories weave into Ichi’s wonderfully and end up mattering just as much as his.

The combat doesn’t lose any of its punch now that you’re taking turns. In fact, it feels wilder than ever and still demands situational awareness as your enemies shift around the environment, forcing you to quickly pick which move will do the most damage and turn the fight in your favor. RGG purposefully made Ichi obsessed with Dragon Quest (yes, specifically Dragon Quest) as an excuse to go ham and morph enemies into outlandish fiends that would populate Ichi’s favorite series. It’s a fun meta that never loses its charm.

This is the best first step into a new genre I’ve ever seen an established franchise make and I hope like hell they keep with it for future outings -- and that Ichi returns to keep playing hero. There’s plenty of callbacks and treats for longtime fans, but RGG did a masterful job rolling out the virtual carpet for a whole new generation of Yakuza fanatics.

4. GHOST OF TSUSHIMA

Sucker Punch’s dive into 13th century Japan doesn’t redefine the open-world genre. But like Horizon: Zero Dawn before it, Ghost of Tsushima takes familiar components of the genre and uses them exceptionally well, creating an airtight experience that can’t help but stand out. I can tell Sucker Punch mused on games like Assassin’s Creed and Breath of the Wild, tried to figure out what makes those games tick, and then brought their own spin to those concepts. You can feel it in their obsession to make traversal through the environment as unobtrusive as possible, letting the wind literally guide you to your destinations instead of forcing the player to glue their eyes to a mini-map. You can feel it in how seamless it is to scale a rooftop before silently dropping on a patrol, blade first. You can feel it in the smoothness behind the combat as your sword clashes against the enemy’s. Every discrete part is fine-tuned yet perfectly complements the whole. The game is silk in your hands. 

The mainline story can be humdrum, though. It mirrors the beats of a superhero origin story, which isn’t surprising when you account for the three Infamous titles and satellite spinoffs under Sucker Punch’s belt. But Jin Sakai’s personal journey outshines the cookie-cutter plot. His gradual turn from the strict samurai code to a morally ambiguous vigilante lifestyle (to becoming, eventually, a myth) is a fascinating exploration in shifting worldviews. This is bolstered by the well-written side-missions dotting your quest, some of which play out in chains. It’s these diversions about melancholy warriors and villagers adjusting to life under invasion that end up being the essential storytelling within the game. Whatever you do, don’t skip a single one.

Before GoT can overstay its welcome with collectible hunting and stat-tree building, the ride is over. If you find exhaustive open-world titles, well, exhausting, Sucker Punch coded enough of a campaign to sticking the landing and not more. But if you were looking for more, the game’s co-op Legends mode is the surprise encore of the year. It strikes its own tone, with vibrant, trippy designs, and a progression system that embarrasses other AAA titles in the space (I mean Avengers. I’m talking about Avengers).

3. THE LAST OF US PART II

The Last of Us is widely regarded as a masterpiece. It’s a melancholic trek through a realistic post-apocalypse, driven by the budding bond between a world-weary survivor and a would-be teenage savior. The fungal zombies and violent shootouts with scavengers were scary and exciting, but ultimately just window-dressing compared to the level of complicated, and honest, human emotion on display throughout the tale. While a segment of detractors helpfully pointed out that The Last of Us’ story isn’t unique when compared to years of post-apocalyptic books, comics, and movies, that argument seems to forget that a narrative more concerned with the human protagonists’ connections to one another instead of saving the world or feeding into a hero complex is pretty unique for games -- especially a high profile, AAA budgeted game.

Still, fans made heroes out of Joel and Ellie because of their own connection to their journey. And that connection is almost instantly challenged in the opening hours of The Last of Us Part II to heartbreaking effect. But I’m here to tell you that any other sequel would have been dishonest to the legacy of the original game. To be given a hero’s quest as a continuation, an imagined sequel where Joel and Ellie do battle against the viral infection that’s swept the earth, would have been a despicable cash-in. It would have been a mistake to follow-up the original’s careful examination of human nature just to placate an audience that seems to have missed the point Naughty Dog made. The Last of Us Part II hurts. But it has to or else it wouldn’t have been worth making. It’s a slow-burn meditation on the harmful ripples revenge creates, how suffering begets suffering, and how, if we don’t break the cycles of violence we commit to, suffering will come for us.

To drive this point, we’re given two distinct perspectives during the meaty (and somewhat overlong) campaign, split between Ellie Williams, the wronged party seeking revenge, and Abby Anderson, an ex-Firefly whose actions set the sequel into motion. The greatest trick Naughty Dog pulls off isn’t forcing us to play as a character we hate, it’s giving us reasons to emphasize with them. It was gradual, and despite some heavy-handed moments meant to squeeze sympathy out of the player (how many times do I have to see that fuckin’ aquarium?!), I eventually came to love Abby’s side of the story. The obvious irony being that she unwittingly walks the same path Joel did in the original.

My love for the narrative shouldn’t distract from how well designed the world is. Being a King County local, the vision of a ruined Seattle strikes an uncomfortable note -- it was eerie seeing recognizable buildings overgrown with vegetation but otherwise devoid of life. Maybe the heart-wrenching story also distracts from the fact this game is, by definition, survival horror. Exploring toppled buildings in the dark, hearing the animalistic chittering of the infected, defending yourself with limited resources… It manages to be a scarier entry into the genre in 2020 than even RE3R. There’s a particular fight in a fungus covered hospital basement that easily goes down as my Boss Fight of the Year. Human enemies make for clench-worthy encounters, too, with incredibly adept AI that forces you to keep moving around the environment and set traps to avoid getting overwhelmed.

Admittedly, the subject matter -- or more to the point, the grim tone -- was tough to stomach during an actual pandemic which has happily treated us to the worst of human nature. Still, The Last of Us Part II is absolutely worth playing for its balance of mature themes and expertly crafted world, and the way it juxtaposes beauty and awfulness in the same breath.

2. SPIDER-MAN: MILES MORALES

The most impressive thing about Miles Morales is that, despite being a truncated midquel rather than a full-blown sequel, it’s a better game than 2018’s Spider-Man. It’s not because of the instantaneous loading times or the fancy ray-tracing techniques used on the PS5 version of the game. Rather, it’s how it takes the joyride of the original game and hones it into a laser focused experience filled to the brim exclusively with highs. Like Batman: Arkham Asylum going into Arkham City, Miles starts the game off with his mentor’s best abilities and tools. From there, he discovers his own powers, his bioelectric venom strike, which ends up feeling like the missing ingredient from the first game’s combat.

Your open-world playground -- a locale in the Marvel universe called “New York City” -- is exactly the same size as the previous installment, which helps avoid making the game feel “lesser.” But Insomniac wisely consolidated the random crimes Peter faced into a phone app that Miles can check and choose which activity to help out with. Choices like this really trim the fat from the main game and help alleviate “the open-world problem” where the story’s pacing suffers because players are spending hours on end collecting feathers. This is great because Miles’ story is also great. The narrative kicks Peter out pretty early on, focusing on how Miles assumes the role of city protector, primarily focused on his new home in Harlem. Insomniac avoids retreading the same path paved by Into the Spider-Verse by telling a relatable tale where Miles defines his identity as Spider-Man. With a strong cast led by Nadji Jeter as Miles, the game lands an impactful story that weaves its own new additions to Miles’ mythos (light spoiler: I loved their take on The Prowler).

Miles Morales was pure virtualized joy from start to finish. A requirement of the platinum trophy is to replay the entirety of the game on New Game+. I didn’t hesitate to restart my adventure the minute the credits were over. Everything I loved about 2018’s Spider-Man is here: the swinging, the fighting, the gadgets, the bevy of costumes. But it gave me a new element I adore and can’t see Insomniac’s franchise proceeding without: being Miles Morales.

1. FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE

I love subversive media, I do. And Square Enix’s “remake” of one the most beloved video games ever made subverts expectations by openly acknowledging that, yes, the original story you love exists and is consistently referenced in this game. But this is not that story. This is something..else. Because the truth is, SE could never have recreated FFVII and delivered a title that matched the Sacred Game fans created in their heads. That impossible standard is like an imagined deity, given power by feeding on raw nostalgia reinforced by years of word-of-mouth and appearances on Top 100 lists. I’m not saying FFVII is a bad game or that fans give it too much credit. Not at all. There’s a reason it’s so influential -- it’s good! But memory works in a funny way over time. We have a tendency to codify our perception of a thing over the reality of it. The connection we make to certain media, especially when introduced at a young age as FFVII had been to a whole generation of fans so long ago, creates a legend in our heads. Unfortunately, it’s a legend no developer could achieve when tasked with remaking it.

So Square...didn’t. Final Fantasy VII Remake has the same characters, setting, and plot beats as the first third of the original game but it’s not the same game, nor is it a remake of it in the traditional sense. It’s something new. And I fucking love that about it.

Everything is reconfigured, including the combat. After years of trying to merge RPG mechanics with more approachable (and marketable) real-time action (see FFXV and the Kingdom Hearts games for examples), Square Enix finally landed on the perfect balance. You fully control Cloud on the battlefield, from swinging your impossibly huge buster sword to dodging attacks. The ATB gauge (no one knows what the acronym stands for -- that information has been lost to time) gradually fills up, letting unleash powerful moves. But best of all, you fight in a party, and you can switch who to control on the fly.

That may not sound revolutionary, let alone for a Final Fantasy, but each character has a completely unique feel and suite of moves. At times, it feels like playing a Devil May Cry game where you can switch between Dante, Vergil, and Nero on the fly (that’s a free idea, Capcom. Hire me, you cowards). You can soften up an enemy with Cloud’s buster to increase their stagger meter, switch to Barret for a quick gatling barrage, and finally switch to Tifa to crush them with her Omnistrike. You can accomplish this in real-time or slow down the action to plan this out. It’s a great mix of tactics and action that prevents the game from feeling like a mindless hack n’ slash.

What really, really works here is the character work. Each lead walks in tropes first, but the longer you spend with the members of your party, the more their motivations and fears are laid out. You end up having touching interactions with just about the whole main cast. There’s a small segment, after Cloud saves Aerith from invading Shinra guards, that the two make an escape via rooftop.They make light conversation -- small talk really -- but it’s exchanges like this that feel genuine, perfectly framing their characters (stoic versus heartfelt), and grounding an otherwise larger-than-life adventure.

Many bemoaned the fact that FFVIIR only revisits a small portion of the original game, but I think it was a brilliant choice -- to massively expand on areas we only got to see a little of in the original. I honestly didn’t want to leave Midgar. It’s a world rife with conflict and corporate oppression, sure, but Midgar is beautifully realized, from the slums below the plates, populated with normal people trying to make the best of life, to the crime controlled Wall Market, adorned with gaudy lights and echoing honky tonk tunes. It very well may be years before FFVII’s remake saga comes to a close, but if each entry is paved with as much love and consideration and, yes, storytelling subversion as this introductory chapter… It’ll be worth the wait.

[radramblog]

a perfectly normal tierlist

Well I’m at that point where it’s late, I’m tired, and im out of ideas. That’s right motherfuckers its time for a tierlist. I dunno which to do though, so let’s just hit the random button aaaand

…wait, there is no random button. Ok, sure, I’ll just close the old eyes and pick the first one I see that I can actually have an opinion on. No takesies backsies, unless it’s like american sports or something. aaand here we go.

…aww fuck.

Mistakes are being made.

Shit tier

ABO: Aside from the fact that it’s based on a flawed study that has been solidly discredited no matter how many right-wing grifters try to sell alpha chad pills, this shit is 100% horny on main all the time and not in a way I find particularly appealing. I can’t say I’ve intentionally read anything tagged with this shit, because seeing it on a taglist actively reviles me.

Soulmate AU: Most of the AU stuff is lumped together elsewhere, but this one has a special place in the colder, more shrivelled bits of my heart. I’ve yet to see this used anywhere other than to justify someone’s OTP in universe and skipping all the, yknow, interesting stuff. Like there’s enough of it out there that I’m sure someone has made an actually good fic out of this. But not for me.

Bang or Die: Save it for the hentai, you horny fucks.

Sex Pollen: I don’t know what this is, but I don’t like the sound of that.

Miscommunication: Do you want to read a 100000 word fanfic based around the absolute worst trope in romantic “comedy”? I sure as fuck don’t!

 Bad tier

Amnesia fic: Jace Beleren is the only character who gets away with this shit, and even then I’m getting pretty sick of it. If I’m interested in reading about a character, I’d rather read about them, not the post-death-of-personality husk that inevitably leads to bad angst.

Arranged Marriage: Another shitty romance trope to force your leads together. Yawn.

Baby fic: When I was younger I ended up seeing Just Go With It in cinemas for stupid reasons and it’s just this and it wasn’t good

Sharing a bed: I’m not sure what this refers to, unless it’s like, being forced to share a bed because shenanigans, hilarity ensues, which doesn’t sound like the best time.

Pregnancy fic: This is not my kink.

Love Triangle: I’ve seen this play out in real life and it’s ugly, and those examples were relatively low-key. Maybe once I read one that turns into a polyamorous throuple I’ll change my mind.

Mutual Pining/Unrequieted Love: Part of the problem with a lot of the media that gets romantic fanfiction is that they never actually bite the bullet with the romance, just tease that shit for years and years. I’m not sure why you’d want more of that for your wish-fulfillment.

Meh tier

Fix-it-Fic: Undoubtedly whoever is writing these have a different definition of “fixed” than I do. My main issue with these, however, is that a lot of them are for things with perfectly fine endings that just didn’t have the ship they wanted or were not a happily ever after. With that in mind, some of them are pretty golden (TLCstuck comes to mind).

Angst/Hurt and Comfort: I graduated from angsty teenager to depressed adult a long time ago.

Bodyswap: Your Name is overrated. (editor’s note, Raderph has never seen Your Name.)

Crackfic: The most hit or miss thing on this entire list. Good crackfics can be absurdist brilliance, bad ones are late 00’s randumb but somehow worse. With that in mind, crack ships can be a lot of fun.

All these generic-ass AUs: Man I gotta probe someone’s mind who’s into this stuff, because it’s never appealed to me. If I’m looking at an AU, I’d much rather it be characters in an actually interesting scenario or world rather than just Starbucks or Hogwarts with the serial numbers filed off. Throw ‘em in Mad Max or something, not Jane Austen. You get the idea.

Huddle for Warmth: As a Perth bloke who’s never experienced snow this is completely unrelatable to me.

Enemies/Friends to Lovers: Look I’m a refined homestuck fan we perfected this shit 10 years ago.

Dark Fic: Another hit or miss one, but unfortunately the majority of them are pizza cutters. All edge, no point.

First Kiss: Romantic awkwardness can be cute, but my cringe threshold is often too low for the high school shenanigans this tends to entail. With that said, I’m writing about fanfiction tropes on my tumblr blog, so maybe the cringe was inside me all along.

Time Loop: This is in meh because I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever stumbled across it in fanfiction but also I can’t imagine it’s done well that often.

 Ok tier

Gen fic: …doesn’t this just mean a fanfic that isn’t a crossover or a shipping fic? That this is separate here implies that it’s notable when a fic isn’t one of those things, which…. is depressingly fair.

Crossover: Lotta bad ones out there. Lotta good ones. If it’s a crossover with two things I really like I’m probably gonna enjoy it, and some- particularly those where it’s basically just an AU with characters from one universe slotted into another- work nicely imo.

Humor: why is this a tag yes I like it when things are funny a lot of people aren’t going to be funny though

Major Character Death: Fuck me up. I wanna cry motherfucker.

Slow Burn: I can’t even justify liking this to be honest. I think it’s a lot like how slice of life anime go, where its just characters you like doing things and slowly developing characterwise and relationshipwise. Which if you like it you like it.

Fluff: Fuck me up. I wanna cry motherfucker. (but of joy)

In vino veritas: This is a pretty dumb trope but I can’t help but enjoy it. Sloppy drunken makeouts into morning after oh god what have I done is extremely unfun in real life but pretty funny when it happens to someone else.

Missing scenes: But what if I want to see what happens when Barry gets his pokemon’s teeth kicked in by Jupiter, huh? This is just wish fulfillment for trivia/minutiae nerds, which unfortunately I am one of.

Fake relationship: Another dumb trope that I cannot defend. It’s a cute dynamic that often really works. don’t judge meeeeee

 Good tier:

Established Relationship: If I want to read about my ship, I want to read about them being in a relationship, which means that if it was already established and we could skip all the BS that’d be great……… is this so hard

Unhappy ending: Fuck me u-okay not doing that a third time. Sometimes you’re sad and you want somewhere to put that sad. With that in mind, the meta-unhappy ending, AKA a great fic that hasn’t been updated in years (I could name a few…dozen) is the worst fanfiction trope and I want it to go away.

Canon Divergence: I find “What if” a lot more interesting that fix-it stuff because the former has variety. It’s really interesting to see events from a story divert and follow different beats, so long as those beats make sense to the overall context.

 God tier:

Porn without plot: Presented without comment.

[anachronistic-falsehood]

OKAY so I finally got around to watching Descendants 3, I’m watching it right now and I have some stuff to say

opening music number? fuckin bitchin, we STAN whoever writes these villain songs. I do like the ones from the first two movies better, but it does show more of how the Isle of the Lost has changed since the first four went to Auradon (idk if that’s how it’s spelled don’t judge me)

SMEE HAS TWINS

I’ve only known facilier’s daughter for three and a half minutes but if anything happened to her i would kill everyone in this room and then myself

aight, so Hades is definitely going to play a big part in this movie, whether he’s a villain or a bad guy gone good. He’s gonna be important, and it’s a little random because he wasn’t even mentioned for the last two movies

THE P R O P O S A L. I’M CRYING Y’ALL. I LOVE THEM

Seeing Cameron being a goofball as Carlos makes me want to cry. I love him and I wish more than anything that he was still here.

anyway, sad stuff aside, Audrey is obviously going to be some sort of villain just based on her whole rant about the proposal. not the best choice for a villain, considering she wasn’t that memorable from the first movie and her motive is a little cliche, but whatever

ooooOOOOOHHHH SHE’S GOT A VILLAIN SONG

OH NO SHE’S HOT!! AUDREY KILL ME PLEASE!!!

Mal wanting to close the barrier for good is a little out of character in my opinion

Audrey showing up when she did is also a little random, not sure why that was necessary. She just turned Mal into an old lady and left???? 

The pacing of the whole movie is a little weird so far, but every movie seems like that to me at first and it seems better the second time I watch it so it could totally just be me

AUDREY SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY. OH GOD IM IN LOVE HER VOICE IS BEAUTIFUL

I CHANGED MY MIND I LOVE AUDREY AS A VILLAIN

and now Mal is back to normal?? what was the point of audrey cursing her in the first place?

the actor for Dr. Facilier could NOT be better!!! I love him, and I LOVE that he has an arcade kinda thing going on in the Isle. just,,,,, UGH he is incredible

OHHHHH IT’S THE PIRATE BOYS

k so we visiting Hades now and idk why theyre on this minecart/bike sorta thing? they could literally walk faster than that but you know what the sequence was cool so imma let it slide

HE SLEEPS TO FUCKING DOG SOUNDS I LOVE HADES

he’s wearing shades while he sleeps the absolute madlad

oh god he’s hotter up close

hOLD ON DID SHE JUST SAY D A D

WHAT THE FUCK HADES IS HER DAD

that sassy scarf flip?? im lov he

OHHHHHHH HE’S SINGING NOW

god this kind of song totally fits his aesthetic. All the songs are absolutely incredible so far and so is the choreography, just like the other two movies

THE TAMBOURINE. WHAT A FUCKIN DRAMA QUEEN, I LOVE HADES

he radiates chaotic bi energy i love this man

i LOVE audrey!! her motives may be cliche, sure, but she is incredible

PIRATE BOYS GOT OUT AND OH NO UMA’S PRETTY

uma and mal have such a good dynamic 

“i can feel you lurking...” “good” could harry and jay get any gayer

ANOTHER SONG FUCK YEAH

I love Evie playing mediator between Mal and Uma, and the two of them working together in this fight scene??? NICE

Have I mentioned how much I love the choreography?

Evie making them do team bonding sksksksksksksk

is gil flirting with jay

jAY’S FLIRTING BACK

is gil asking him out???

i want harry to stab me with his hook

i would literally die for celia, she’s such a precious kid

okay so Mal wanting to close the barrier is more relevant now that Celia thinks they’re letting all the kids out of the Isle, I take back what I said earlier

OH EVIE’S SINGING, WHAT A DRAMA QUEEN I LOVE HER

god they are so cute together im crying

OHHHHH BEN’S A BEAST!!!!

im literally going to cry i love carlos and cameron

does ben just??? have a beard now??? is that permanent?? god i hope so it’s rly cute

I LOVE HARRY, HOLY FUCK, PLEASE DATE ME

harry radiates disaster bi energy and he’s sTILL FLIRTING WITH JAY, HE LITERALLY JUST CALLED HIM GORGEOUS I’M-

if they don’t end up together at the end i’m gonna RIOT

mal and uma?? working together??? i love them

BEN’S GOT LIDDLE FANGS HE’S SO CUTE

can i just take a moment to comment on harry’s eyeliner??? ugh he’s hot

i would die for chad

hey uhhhh have i mentioned how pretty jane is??? i love her so much

“mal promised to let all the kids off the isle” ohhhhh DRAMA

oH NO UMA IS SAD

SO IS HARRY

CELIA’S GONNA CRY NO

ok this is a good fucking scene, evie’s gonna cry and mal- oH GOD OH FUCK THEY’RE ALL STATUES

ohhhhhh a SONG

showing clips from all the movies show her character development is just,,,, UGH i LOVE it! it’s such a powerful moment for her and i love how she’s changed through the series

OH FIGHT SCENE

AUDREY’S GOT CELIA FUCK

UMA’S HELPING I’M IN LOVE

audrey does such a good evil laugh why was she not a villain sooner

audrey’s been defeated but there are still twenty minutes left??? what’s happening is audrey dead or sumn

i’m sorry but WHERE THE FUCK IS BEN’S BEARD. GIVE IT BACK TO HIM PLEASE IT’S CUTE

ngl i would be ok if uma and harry ended up together theyre kinda cute

again,,,,, i would die for celia

IT’S THE CHAOTIC BI HIMSELF

FUCKIN HADES BABEY!!!!!

“When you guys try to destroy the world, it’s an error in judgement. But when it’s one of us? Lock ‘em up, throw away the key. Right, Beast?” i,,,, love this man. seriously could hades possibly have been more perfect

hades growling at the beast is,,,, ngl kinda hot

god i love audrey, she was such a good villain, and her apology??? nice

THAT WAS SUCH A GOOD FATHER/DAUGHTER MOMENT, I LOVE HADES AND MAL AND OH NO SHE’S CRYING FUCK

“speech, oh fancy one!” i love jay so much

mal’s speech??? im crying, look at how much she’s grown

THEY’RE OPENING THE BARRIER!!!!

UMA’S HAPPY LIL TWIRL???? SHE’S BABEY!!!

it’s a bop!! fuck yeah!!!

the choreography of the last dance number is just?? phenomenal??? 

ok harry and audrey are gonna be a cute couple but can i just say right now that gil and jay are canonically together in my opinion and you can’t change my mind

that last shot of the four of them running across the bridge??? poetic cinema

IS CHINA ANNE MCCLAIN SINGING DIG A LITTLE DEEPER???? HOLY FUCK

this movie was such a good ending to the series, i loved how every character developed, the music and choreography was incredible, 11/10 would watch again

[lightlorn]

Ship bias for your KH Muses! :D

i am a flawed human being. ll accepting.

Aqua:

Terraqua. This ship is part of the reason I kept crying so hard in KH3, now catch me admitting that on the internet. I love the way they are there for each other in spite of their stark differences, and that they have a lot of unexplored, threadable area in both their coming of age and post-KH3 timelines. Plus any ship I can draw a parallel between my fandom otp and another ship is a good ship.

Xemqua. Nomura was setting something up here and he dropped the ball and I will not take that lying down. You’re telling me they don’t even so much as look at each other during the DLC? Dishonorable, Nomura, truly despicable. There’s so much to work with there, what with the armor and the way you can read a lot of Xemnas’ closest allies in the Org being answers to Terra’s inner circle. If Nomura won’t give me their story, then I’ll write it with a partner.

Aqua/Larxene. There’s basically no other adult women in this series and I am a simple dyke seeking the wlw. I think it would make a fantastic opposites attract cliche with the added bonus of someone that won’t take Larxene’s attitude lying down while simultaneously being able to match her step for step. The Taming of the Nymph, coming soon to an AU near you.

Eraqus:

Xehaqus. This is my end all, be all OTP for the fandom. I have spent almost 100 dollars overall at cons commissioning art of these idiots. They are my phone background and lockscreen. I have an entire fic in my head of their apprentice days and frankly if Dark Road does not live up to the relationship development I have hyped up in my head I will go canon divergent. These fuckers are beautiful and heartbreaking and awful and wonderful and I love them. Bring me all the Xehaqus.

That’s it. I’m so disappointing. I have like one or two OC for him ships and I mean whatever happens in RP happens if relationships develop but oh my God. Xehaqus consumes me.

Invi:

Real talk my Invi is a lesbian and my take on the Foretellers is that she sees them all as her siblings underneath all of her posturing that it’s nothing personal, so I don’t even know what the fandom ships for her are. I’m not even sure who is available to ship with her. Throw whatever of age lady muses you have at her, mutuals, and let’s see where this goes.

Isa:

Isalea. Akusai is also good, but there’s something about their life together after the war ends when they are trying to rebuild and find everything they lost that speaks to my soul. I would never say that if I see an Axel/Lea it’s ‘on sight’ shipping because that’s shitty, but I will say I am that Saix/Isa that is always down to discuss your take on their dynamic and see what we can cobble together.

Xemsai. This will never be a healthy ship, I think, based on the fact my Saix is as likely to use his alleged loyalty and affection to try and get some form of control over his Superior, but there’s a lot that could be fleshed out here. Whatever heart he grows will always belong to his oldest friend, but he will do whatever it takes to see his ambitions fulfilled. He’s trying to use the creature that has used him for over a decade. God. The potential.

Xigsai. By the same card as above, I think if Saix clued into Xigbar being more than simply a bombastic menace, he could try and pull the same using sex and false loyalty to obfuscate his true means on Xigbar. The difference being that Xigbar is, at heart, far more deadly and aware than Xemnas is when it comes to the bigger picture. It’d be Saix putting himself in the mouth of the beast willingly, and not expecting how deeply those teeth can cut when they snap shut on him.

Roxas:

Full disclaimer: I am 25 years old and fleshing out the romantic drama of a teenage boy is not something that super interests me. That said, I do like the concept of Roxas and his brand new heart forming all kinds of bonds, and him eventually starting to register feelings beyond the platonic for certain people. So as far as character development goes, i can see him taking interest in the following:

Hayner. There’s something so coming of age adolescent aggression as a front for latent or closeted affection about them in the simulation, and in the real world they have endless potential. I think Roxas could definitely feel safe enough around Hayner to have something more develop feelings wise. Also Hayner has muscles and that makes Roxas 404 error sometimes regardless of shipping, just as a general Roxas thing.

Xion. It’s a cliche, to be sure, but depending on the Xion and their development, I can see Roxas starting to feel more at home in her presence after they’ve had time to heal and become their own people. This isn’t an on sight shipping thing, and in fact I am super selective about this even while shipping it, but there’s groundwork for a good dynamic and a sort of reunion between them as whole people who come to appreciate each other as more than their initial, shallow idea of friends.

Namine. Was not super hip on this as a kid, especially when I was less discriminating in my Xion tastes, but as an adult I can appreciate their bond. They have a lot of the same trauma in terms of being dehumanized and used by two separate factions in setting, and the two take a lot of risks for one another within the data Twilight Town. I think there’s something to be said for them both to have irrevocable individuality and come together and develop as more than friends over the years.

Riku. Is it trashy? Yes. Is Roxas still tied to Sora somehow? Yes. Would it be hilarious to see Roxas turn a would-be rivalry into accidental flirtation because he’s confused about his feelings? Yes. Riku just standing there suffering while Roxas demands they engage in a passionate battle of lips -- WITS. I don’t even know how serious I am in shipping this, but Riku being Roxas’ emotional training wheels amuses me.

Aaaaand you can’t really have biases for an OC because at that point anything with plot potential, chemistry, and aligning sexualities goes so instead I am just going to shout out Kokoro’s established ships + the muns for being so good to my little mary sue.

Xemkoro/Foxhole. I don’t know how me dipping my toe in the water of shipping with Lucky by saying ‘hey my OC and your Xem could have a cool dynamic’ became like... my entire shipping brand, but here we are. Their entire dynamic breaks me, the way Xemnas is clinging to a past that he wants so badly to have been a part of while Kokoro can’t afford to look back anymore, working too hard to meet future goals is... Everything. Especially in the fact she regards him as a person without hesitation or knowing how much that will come to mean to him. There’s so many layers to them, and they truly work to earn their happy ending, and that is everything to me. Here’s to successful risks and their payoff.

Aquoro.  Everything my gay little heart ever wanted: the dichotomy of childhood romantic friendship giving way to adolescent rivalry and a shell of what your relationship used to be that appears so often between girls. That they also represent the Responsible Daughter and Rebel Daughter in Kokoro’s secondary verse, furthering the gulf between them as Aqua continues to follow the Master’s teachings where Kokoro embraces her own ideas about what Eraqus preached is... Chef’s Kiss... And through it all, it’s still Aqua that Kokoro wants to find the most, the one for whom her heart breaks the hardest when she sees what became of her. I owe Lucky my life for giving me this phenomenal wlw content.

Koterra. Kleffy does spoil me. The difference between what Terra dreamed of as a boy and what their reality became, where she is instead his knight and protector while he calls the shots as part of reclaiming his identity is perfect. The way they grow from teenage misunderstandings and dick moves into adults that have a touch more kindness for one another is also good, because it’s all about the character development. Their bond is strong and their support for one another immeasurable. I am heterosexual for one (1) ship. All because Kleffy came up with it on the spot and then put in the effort to make it work, God bless em.

[alexkablob]

Emerald

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual, generally prefers girls.

Gender Headcanon: Cis girl

A ship I have with said character: Ruby/Emerald is my rarepair because they’re foils for each other and Ruby is highkey the real version of what Emerald thinks Cinder is. Also, she totally could have had a one-night stand with Vernal.

A BROTP I have with said character: Look, she started out intensely jealous of Mercury because he was competition for Cinder’s attention and he was an annoying ass, but then they became sort of begrudging coworkers and they still dragged each other but it was in more of a Vitriolic Best Buds kind of way…and then suddenly they were living in Literal Hell and they were both the only normal people there and Work Friend Accidentally Became Real Friend and they became highkey protective of each other. This is the first mutually-healthy relationship either of them have ever had and they’re both somewhat confused as to how it happened, and also oh no I might seriously end up shipping Em/Merc by the time v6 is over oh god I never wanted this—

A NOTP I have with said character: Look I’m Very Fascinated By Emerald And Cinder’s Dynamic And I Enjoy Writing About It But I’ve Seen People Shipping Them As A Healthy Relationship And This Really Weirds Me Out Because Holy Crap This Is The Most Toxic Abusive Unbalanced Relationship Ever, Emerald Please Realize You Don’t Mean Anything To Her And Get Out Of There

A random headcanon: This is less random and more like, the foundation of my interpretation of her, but…Emerald’s deepest secret is that underneath the bitter cynical beaten-down exterior that her life has forced her to develop…she’s actually just as much of a hopeless romantic as Ruby is. She wants to be the plucky urchin antihero saved swept off her feet by a hero who will take care of her and love her the way she’s always wanted someone to…and Cinder realized this, and exploited it ruthlessly

General Opinion over said character: As y’all all know, Emerald is like, 110% My Exact Character Type.

[bibliophileiz]

Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox

Yockey knocks it out of the park with this debut -- ‘Asa Fox’ may be in my top five favorite SPN episodes. Directed by John Badham,featuring one of the best musical montages in the recent seasons before the title card and featuring the always perfect Sam Smith as Mary, Kim Rhodes as Jody and Lisa Berry as Billie, it is criminal that this one only has an 8.5 rating on IMDb. (I mean, Billie’s presence alone makes it at least a 9.) 

Anyhoo, let’s dive in.

In this opening scene, we meet baby Asa Fox racing through the woods running from a werewolf. And may I just say I am pissed that we didn’t get an AU Resistance Leader Asa Fox in Season 13 (one of my many disappointments from that plot thread.) Mary is the perfect blend of badass hunter and typical mom (cleaning Asa’s face). Also, her braids are super cute.

“Since the last time we saw you, I killed Hitler.” “Thank you?” Dean is a rom com chick, pass it on. Ellen and Asa were bros, it’s cannon. “We’re going to salt and burn the body tomorrow. I can’t believe I just said that like it’s something normal.” God, Dean is distractingly hot this scene.

How did the Winchesters get into Canada? Are you telling me they have fake passports?!?!

The actress playing Asa’s mom does not get the credit she deserves for this episode.(I looked her up, and she is Laurie Paton. She’s also in The X-Files.)

There should be more episodes that feature a shit ton of hunters getting wasted. “Nobody can take out five Wendigos in a night.” I want that episode.  THE BANES TWINS!  “She was, like, a good witch. Very Enya. It was the ‘90s.” “What did she teach you?” “Mostly how to seduce men.” Max. Buddy. I need you to give Dean a nudge. In other news, I want the Banes twins to be my best friends.

“It’s not like we’re in the live-till-you’re-90, die-in-your-sleep business.” That line has a lot of weight, especially now going into the final season.

Rollerskating ghouls!!! I want that episode too. Sam and Dean walking in just in time to hear that Asa and Jody banged is so awkward. 

Jody fangirling over Mary is still the cutest thing that has ever happened.  Mary’s short hair this season is the other cutest thing. Also, unrelated, but I love Sam Smith’s voice. My best friend once described my mom’s voice as sounding like a hug, and while I knew what she meant -- because she’s my mom and I’ve always gotten the same feeling hearing her talk (unless she’s mad) that I get when she gives me a hug, but I didn’t think other people would feel that way -- but that’s how Sam Smith’s voice sounds. Like a hug.

Big Sister Jody coming to Dean’s rescue, as usual.

How come Lorraine heard the name “Mary Winchester” and didn’t immediately assume Mary is Mary Winchester’s daughter who just has the same name? Maybe she just assumes all hunters are childless loners. “You’re the reason my son didn’t become an astronaut.” Also the reason he didn’t become a werewolf, Lorraine, keep up. I do think this scene is wonderful, because as Lorraine says, “Hunting was his whole life. He never married, never had kids--” Mary’s hearing the story of her own sons.  And the next scene is the same: Sam telling her Asa chose to be a hunter will later parallel him telling her he chose to be a hunter in “The Raid” (another criminally underrated episode. God, I love Season 12.) “Everywhere I go and everything I do, it just feels wrong.” Maaaaaarrrrryyyyy!!!! When Sam says Mary was still hunting in 1980, after Dean was born and “everyone” thought she had quit, Mary gets this guilty look on her face that is not really explored to its full potential. And I just want to say that in a perfect world where Jeffrey Dean Morgan was able to come back for a length of episodes and could have a fully developed arc (and not the delightful but kind of fan servicy one he had in the 300th) that THIS is the plot I would have wanted -- John being resentful of Mary for keeping her hunting life secret from him and, arguably, putting their sons in danger for it. 

You guys, this episode is already so good, and we haven’t even really gotten to the Agatha Christie-style murder spree yet. 8.5 my ass.

Also, Jared Padalecki is killing it this episode. I love his scenes with Sam Smith.

Is the blood dripping on Asa’s forehead supposed to parallel the show’s first scene? I mean, I’m sure it is, but I need some meta writer to explain to me why that is.

And here’s where the plot picks up. Also, we need more crossroads demons in our life. (Where’s my Bela Talbot Crossroads demon???)

“Go away.” “You’re not the boss of me.”  Billie and Dean is one of my favorite dynamics in the entire show. “You can huff and puff, but that house is on supernatural lockdown.”

Jael kills both a First Nations girl and then later Marlene and her kid to create angst for Asa. Does it count as fridging if it’s in dialogue? Turning off the water is so smart! I love me some smart villains! I love how Jody immediately takes command of the situation -- before Sam, even. I kind of always wanted her to be like Sam’s lieutenant.

“It’s a one-way ticket.” Billie is like me, and wants to watch the Agatha Cristie-style murder spree, which would be totally ruined if everybody could get out of the house.

Did Jael say, “Elvis has left the building”? That motherfucker ....

This is the first time we see Mary grab an angel blade, which means the angel blade Mary carries the entirety of this season is Asa’s.

Kim Rhodes makes a delightfully evil demon, and seems to have had a blast doing so. “I so hoped you’d kill your mom! Wouldn’t that be a riot?”

(also, my brother’s dog is named bucky, so every time a character says bucky’s name i just get really distracted.)

I like the hunters all saying different parts of the exorcism.

“That sucked.” Poor Jody!

You guys, Bucky sucks. Also, hanging the person you actually killed from a tree so that no one would suspect you actually killed him is like ... so opposite of what the demon-dealing-happy Winchetsters would do in this scenario that they can’t even comprehend how to handle it.

I just realized this ep even has an Agatha Christie-style reveal, with the murderer confessing all at the end after being revealed. (And everyone else’s identities/crimes/motivations being revealed FIRST.)

“I was wrong. Asa did have a family. I’ve even got grandchildren.” Wow, it’s almost like hunters can have families too.

“Mom to mom....” Why, oh why did Jody and Mary not hang out more?? (It’s because those fuckers at the CW cancelled Wayward Sisters before it could get filmed.)

Also, this scene between Billie and Mary is so. good. “She’s not alone.” Dean. Buddy. I love you forever. “Then I guess you’re just going to have to wait.” “Winchesters.” This scene is just *kisses fingers like an Italian chef* “So does this mean you’re coming home?” “Well, not yet, see I’m only contracted for like 10 episodes this season ....”

And scene.

I mean. This episode, man. Everything about it is criminally underrated. It’s not very flashy in terms of mytharc plot, but it contains so much rich worldbuilding, such great writing and acting, and a healthy dose of ominous foreshadowing the likes of which only Yockey can pull off.

Yockey knows the perfect characters to mix and match. (And I think the scenes between Lisa Berry and Jensen Ackles this episode became the inspiration for their even better scene in “Advanced Thanatology.”) This is the only episode we ever get that has Mary AND Jody AND Billie, three of the best characters. He also creates delightful original characters (which we’ll see again with Tasha Banes, Lily Sunder, Noah the eyeball-eating monster). I know this is the casting director, and not Yockey, but each of the actors playing those original characters were on point.

I also am a total fan of the Agatha Christie tropes -- to my knowledge, that had never been done with Supernatural before, but this episode was just the perfect combination of the two.

I can’t think of any major problems with this one, or even really minor ones. (I mean, the scene with Sam and Dean talking about Jody’s sex life is pretty awkward....) Keep ‘em coming, Steve Yockey. I will watch everything you ever write forever. 

[obstinaterixatrix]

I hate a fair amount of tropes in this (at one point there’s the whole swimsuits thing and like.... yall.... one piece swimsuits exist??) and I basically skip every single chapter where ‘the love master’ is featured. with noro I say “he’s such an idiot” with some degree of horrified fondness. with that other guy I’m just “he’s such an idiot” with the flattest most unamused tone possible. I skip all the otaku dude chapters because I’m sick of reading about pathetic guys, even if they’re ‘actually good guys deep down’. the type of dude that acts like a handshake from a girl is some kind of holy grail of interaction. no. whenever I read delinquent gal’s story, because I have to, because, delinquent gal, I try to erase student prez from my mind. oh my god I skipped karate captain and weak boy’s story so much I forgot it existed I hate it so much. also exchange student one has funny bits but. the guy is so boring. 

I think ch 14 really showcases how EASY it is to actually initiate The Beginnings Of Romance. like, dude goes from strangers to crushing in basically a minute, but it’s got a good fluffy kinda feeling to it. AND ALSO, the girl in that chapter is actually happily in a relationship with another guy, they show up together in ch 102. there’s an earlier chapter that showcases their relationship, but I can’t find it :’(

I really like the couple in ch 16 because it starts out entirely disaster. dude didn’t even know he was being confessed to the entire time. and they develop very nicely too! it’s all about communication and getting better at being understood, while also about the girl being more upfront about what she wants. at first she’s scared to be too clingy but they get to the point where she’s very comfortable about acting ‘spoiled’ and the dude, despite coming off as really stoic, dotes on her a lot. ch 55.1 really shows ‘em off, and also features another couple I like! tho that other couple has a really fun dynamic, but sometimes the writing for them is very.... dude-written. but back to the clingy couple, ch 85 is her actin super spoiled and ch 132 is super sweet.

there’s one couple that I only read because the girl’s really fun, she’s very... goes at her own pace, patient, loves to tease folks, but very kind. her interactions with her bf’s little sister is really nice. ch 82 is like... ah.... I don’t care about your bf but I’m so glad you’re happy..... ch 94 too, & also, ch 135.

there’s a very listless couple that’s actually showed up on this site before so I was surprised to see them again! ch 99 is good because they go to an aquarium.

[dxringred]

Hey, I'm the anon that asked you how come you couldn't see both Paily and Emison as decent ships... I'm sorry I truly didn't mean it to come of negatively.. An I sure didn't mean to bring up bad memories. For that I'm truly sorry.. I agree to disagree on certain things you said. An I'm truly grateful for your candor with answering.. Its just the girl that fell for her best friend wishes to have that happy ending we never get.. Which for me is the appeal of Emison. I enjoy Paily also.

I think Emison Endgame is the product of MK not writing it in earlier.. Hear me out.. I think they planned on making Emily an Ali a couple at some point.. I think with all the writers the storyline kept getting delayed.. I think it was suppose to be this I tried cause I really do love you just not that way storyline.. They held out season after season.. Than lots of angry shippers later.. They were like oh shit better give them what they want. Hence the Endgame was born.. 

As for the discussion as a whole. One of the reasons I’m turned right off of Em/son as a ship is due to the premise of: “girl that fell for her best-friend and desires happiness.” And that’s mostly because that’s how my abusive relationship started. She was my best-friend and I had the biggest crush in the world on her, and that’s why she found it so easy to manipulate me etc. which is arguably the issue with Em/son because Alison can use Emily’s long-term crush and adoration as a starting point to manipulate her. She knows how she feels, she knows personal stuff about her because of their friendship, and that means she’s well-aware of her weak points and her strengths. That makes it incredibly easy to use people.

I know a lot of people are very into this trope, and the “best friends turned lovers” is one of the more popular, and I’m guilty of loving it myself but only when it’s done right. Not when there are abusive undertones to it, because that just leaves a bad taste in my mouth in general. I prefer Pai/y as a relationship because the ship doesn’t have the same negative undertones, especially not after their initial rocky start. 

The two relationships, for me, have similar but vastly different premises. Both tell the story of a girl who gets/wants the girl of her dreams. Paige gets Emily, Emily gets Alison. But here’s the difference:

one tells a tale of hope where a depressed, bullied girl who hates herself and thinks she’ll be miserable forever gets her happy ending;

the other tells the tale of a mildly popular girl getting with her highschool crush of the “popular bitch” who’s not even a healthy friend let alone a healthy romantic/sexual partner.

The two stories, when looked into beyond the initial trope, are entirely different, and for me personally it’s obvious which one is the ideal representation not just for the community but also in terms of being shown to a young audience of influential girls. Hint: it’s the first one. 

I mean when I first watched PLL, Pai/y struck a cord with me for the exact reason outlined above - its story, being one of hope and love and promise. Because Paige was damaged but it didn’t make her any less of a person. It didn’t make her any less lovable or worthy. It didn’t make her any less deserving of being happy. She was closeted and lonely, depressed, bullied and suicidal. And as someone who, too, has been all of those things simultaneously, I related to her character immensely. She gave me hope. And she still does, despite MK being a giant screw-up in regards to writing the remainder of Paige’s story.

Alison on the other hand. Well, she’s the character you’re not supposed to want to see get a happy ending. Particularly when you see yourself in Paige. (Or Mona or Lucas or any of her other victims.) She’s the bully, the abuser, the manipulator, the individual who drives people to suicide and breaks them for her own amusement. It’s one of the reasons why I’ve always been for the assertion that the show would’ve been better had she stayed dead. (Or been revealed as alive right at the end, only to turn out to have been the villain all along, or for at least during some portion of the story.)

Having her get her victim’s happy ending instead is.. well, you can probably see why it’s problematic and why fans of Paige and Pai/y are more than a little bitter/angry. For similar reasons it’s always irked me that Alison gets so easily accepted by the core four while Mona is still painted negatively by them, but that’s another discussion for another day.

I think “Em/son Endgame” god I hate that phrase lol never made sense from the get-go personally. Of course I can understand why people were into it, and maybe if I’d watched the show when it initially started instead of binging it then maybe I’d have had more time to see the appeal. But I didn’t, and perhaps that’s where the different perception comes into play. For me the manipulation was apparent from the first flashback between the two, with red flags popping up all the time in their friendship.

I always thought the more interesting story was Emily overcoming her crush on Alison and realizing that she deserved more, recognizing that what she had with Alison to whatever extent clearly wasn’t healthy and moving on with someone else who appreciated her more as a person and wasn’t just using her to fulfill their desire to be admired and given attention.

So when she regressed completely and all of that became completely irrelevant… well, it felt like a waste of storytelling if I’m honest. Like all that build-up and development and introduction of new character dynamics had been for naught. And it was. I’m always a sucker for proper planning. It clarifies things, it makes them easier to follow, and I think the issue with several current shows nowadays is that the writers don’t always entirely know how they want to get from Point A to Point B. Despite claims otherwise. You can’t just decide on Point A, Point B, and half of the journey between the two and then decide you’ll think about the other half when you get to it because you don’t have time and that’s something I can definitely attest to as a writer.

There were several times when I thought Emily was finally seeing it, particularly in later seasons. Where I thought she was going to realize that she was being used, but then she constantly kept going back to Alison and that alone isn’t the healthiest thing. And I know that for a fact because it was a staple of my own abusive relationship with someone. 

If Alison had actually grown as a character I’d probably be less against the ship. I still wouldn’t ship it - no amount of in-depth character growth is going to make me like Alison enough, unfortunately - but I’d understand a lot more why other people do and I wouldn’t be disgusted at the thought of Em/son becoming endgame or labeled as good representation. Because it’s not.

Because I agree with you 100% on the last bit.

“Than lots of angry shippers later.. They were like oh shit better give them what they want. Hence the Endgame was born..”

I’ve always argued that that’s why the ship was “born” and suddenly became endgame despite all of the lack of development and character growth. It’s because of fan service, and that is no way to write or develop a show. You tell a certain story because it’s the one that needs to be told, that should be told, not because it’s the one that everyone else wants to be told.

And that’s my issue with PLL as an entire show, and why I stopped watching this last season, because it’s fan service for everyone at this point, including Pai/y shippers. And that’s one of the grossest things and some of the worst queerbaiting I’ve ever seen so don’t even get me started there.

Em/son shippers wanted something and they didn’t back down until they got it, and they went about it in a way that makes me gag even now: belittling the writers and the producers and the actresses. And let’s never forget them flipping insulting poor Lindsey every second of every day, telling her to commit suicide and not leaving room for a single nice comment on anything she posted anywhere. The poor woman probably regrets ever deciding to audition for the role of Paige and I don’t blame her one little bit.

And that’s my problem. You’ve got this abusive ship and mostly abusive fanbase behind it, and that’s why I can’t ever ship Em/son. It’s why I never will. Had it been planned, had it been developed, had it been turned into a 100% healthy ship, had Alison seen the error of her ways and genuinely become a better person, maybe I would. But that’s not what happened. And - with, what, five episodes left? Four? - it’s not what’s going to happen.

If you want to ship it, that’s perfectly fine. I can’t go around telling people what they can and can’t do, I can only explain to them why I don’t feel the same way as honestly as I can. So I know it’s long, and perhaps I missed some stuff, but hopefully this maybe explains my viewpoint a little better. If you managed to get all the way down here then thanks for taking the time to read!

[archivesdiveronarpg]

Congratulations, MINNIE! You’ve been accepted for the role of BRUTUS. Admin Em: Minnie, I didn’t even finish reading your plot ideas before I knew you GOT Brutus. He’s a deeply flawed character with few redeeming qualities, but it’s so, so, important to me that the applicant knew the latter as much as the former, inside and out. ‘ Because he is prideful, he is greedy, he is envious and courageous and manipulative — but he is, in his own way, humble.’ You summed him up perfectly in a single sentence, and went on to cement it perfectly in your interview and para sample, capturing our complex turncoat beautifully. Congratulations - I’m so excited to see Brutus on the dash!  Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours. 

                                                                                 WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Out of Character

Alias | Minnie

Age | 21

Preferred Pronouns | She/Her

Activity Level | It’s kind of funny to describe my activity to admins who have seen me on the dash hehe. I think I’m pretty active though! Some weeks/days are definitely better than others, but I haven’t been on an activity check as of yet, and I’m online at least once a day. I do replies pretty frequently (at least a couple a week) and I throw myself into my plots, so I would give myself a… 6/10!

Timezone | EST

In Character

Character | Brutus // Boris Kovrov. Honestly, I’m not sure who is my first choice or second choice or third choice… I really love them both. So I will leave the decision to the admins’ discretion, based on whoever I portray most accurately and most passionately!

What drew you to this character? | Brutus is such an iconic character that of course I was scrambling over myself to read his biography. And the entire last paragraph is everything that drew me to him. They curse his name and call him traitor; they look down on him and place themselves above him, without knowing that they are the pawns, the fools who blindly follow what they know and never daring to think for themselves. But Boris — Boris may be arrogant, but he doesn’t presume to be a god. I love that!! About him!!! Because he is prideful, he is greedy, he is envious and courageous and manipulative — but he is, in his own way, humble. I think he would be so so interesting and fun to develop and write and play because of it. He has a strange moral compass that always points him towards himself, and his relationship with his inner demons certainly makes that moral compass a lot more complicated… but Boris isn’t a man without honor, even if it’s not exactly the honor naive idealists imagine. It’s a really unique blend of right and wrong, blacks and greys, and he makes such a unique addition to Verona that I would love to be a part of.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? |

I.

BAD HABITS WILL RUIN YOU, BORIS!!!!

History repeats itself; gods and mortals alike cannot escape its hand that turns the wheel into a forever-loop. Round and round it goes; betrayal after betrayal after betrayal. Over the years, Boris has tried to right his wrongs — return to the heights from which he’d fallen. Hasn’t he been unfailingly loyal to Faron? Hasn’t he tempered his ambition and greed and envy over the years, calming his temper and soothing his ego? He has — but that was back in Russia. He is in Italy now, in Verona, where dark things love to play and evil loves to dance. There is temptation here, the old siren song of who he used to be and the things he did in hopes of becoming Damiano’s favored one.

Calina and Alva are just two examples of Boris falling back to old habits: to disobey because it suits his greed, to resent because it calls to his envy. His heart is black and self-serving; and it has teeth. I wonder if Boris will recognize the direction he’s headed; I wonder if he will be able to resist, I wonder if he will even listen to Faron if he is admonished for the way his eyes begin to covet Calina’s position or Alva’s impeccable skill. He is greedy, he is envious, he is jealous and disobedient and ambitious. Do such ugly things ever die? No. All we can do is fight it, and fight it, and fight it — but everyone falls, even the gods. Who is to say that Boris is any different? Who is to say that Boris can resist the old game Verona plays, become the man he was long ago in the heart of Verona?

II.  

But for all the reminders and memories Verona holds, there is much difference, too. The kingdom he once worshipped in has crumbled to ashes, as far as he’s concerned. Oh, he remembers Roman Montague — the prince, the heir, the coveted. He remembers who Roman used to be; might even be shocked at who he is now. Regardless of his initial reaction to Roman, Boris is infinitely curious about the new Montague king. For both of them have been sorely disappointed by Damiano; both of them assumed to know him whilst forgetting that gods (and demons) cannot ever be known. Is Roman a god? Is Roman his father’s son, is Roman a Montague that will continue the traditions of old — or is there a new order he intends to follow? Boris has mixed feelings about Roman, and I imagine he’s more than willing to figure them out. I imagine he’s curious about the state of the Montagues. He knows what it’s like to live without Damiano; he’s forced himself to learn.

But what will Damiano’s legacy become without the old king himself? Will they rise? Will they get back on one knee? And — would Boris have stayed if father was more like son? I think these are questions that Boris wonders himself, and intends to find out. Because he’s loyal to Faron and the Spades, absolutely; but man is not man without curiosity, and Boris is a man who likes to have all the answers.

III.

The relationship Boris has with Faron is unorthodox at best — unstable at worst. Faron does not sit on a pedestal, does not wear the crown of kings… and Boris deems him a man worth his loyalty and service. But will that change? Faron does not trust Boris, even he knows that — and in the same vein, Boris does not entirely trust Faron. It is possible to be loyal to someone without putting your faith in them, after all. He will not fall to old mistakes, placing someone on a throne so high that the clouds blur his vices.

But there is something so insulting about a man questioning the value of what he has: his loyalty. Boris’s allegiance is not easily won; he is all too clever and manipulative for it to be easily given. There has to be some resentment, there — some irritation, some vexation. Boris will prove him (and Calina) wrong; but will he snap before he gets the chance to? Will he tire of being watched suspiciously first? Boris trying to prove his reliability while also hiding how annoying it is to have to prove himself would be so fun to play, and would make for some really entertaining Spades dynamics!

In Depth

What is your favorite place in Verona? |

Boris almost laughs.

“It used to be the library, for obvious reasons.” If he had a beard, he would be stroking it now with jeering thoughtfulness. They must know his stained story, his checkered past; he assumes most people who know anything about the Montagues do. “But the years have changed me, and they’ve changed this city, too. So who knows?” He shrugs like he does not have a care in the world, like he is above this line of questioning. “It’s up to Verona to impress me, now.”

The mood changes. He leans forward, and grins like the devil (he isn’t, not quite; he’s something far more dangerous, he is human). “I’m sure I’ll have an answer for you in no time at all.”

What does your typical day look like? |

“So curious!” Boris does laugh this time, like they are old friends and he is utterly amused. He doesn’t intend to answer the question — not honestly, anyway. There are eyes everywhere, ears everywhere. If Damiano has taught him anything, it is that no one can be trusted, and nothing can be assumed. He is on his guard, always; after all, there is no one else to protect him but himself.

“I can show you better than I can tell you,” he says, every word of his soaked in charisma. “Come find me tomorrow in the morning. I’ll walk you through my day, and you can buy me a drink. Or five.”

For each day brings with it new horrors and new tasks; his hands are muddied and caked with blood and tears (both of which are never his). And Boris gets away with it all; only because he refuses to be knowable. He is a man made lesson: do not betray the hand that made you, do not abandon ship and become a traitor like that Boris.

They think to know him, but they never will; so with an aloof smirk and a challenging quirk of his brow, Boris leans back in his seat and dares the other to press further. When no follow-up question is phrased, Boris feels a small thrill run through him. Game, set, match.

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues? |

An eyebrow neatly arches, nearly touches his temple. “What war?” he muses, as if he’s genuinely curious, as if he’s never heard of any such tension between two old enemies.

If they asked him this in Yekaterinburg, his question would be genuine; is life as a Montague has felt blurry at best when in the heart of the Spades. But he is back in Verona, and the memories are crystal clear; remembering the war is as natural as breathing. Once, his lips naturally curled into a frown at the mention of the Capulets. In fact, Boris almost feels the sneer on his mouth now; but he’s careful to keep his smile intact, aloof and carefree (perhaps even careless).

“It’s old news,” he says dismissively, picking up his glass (vodka, his drink of choice), “an old story. I tire of old stories. I’m ready for the new.” It’s an answer that is not an answer at all; but with a hearty gulp of vodka, Boris decisively puts an end to the question. The war is over; a new age has begun.

Faron will see to it, and so will he.

In-Character Para Sample:

“I’m leaving, мама.” The words may fall flat, and his lips may stand in an unfeeling, unmoving line; but Boris’s eyes betray the depth of his heart for his mother.

Behind every man is his mother’s silent hand, guiding him through the stars and into her bosom — but this is different. This is a goodbye, this is one man cutting the strings of his heart that lead him home. This is Boris, telling his family goodbye, leaving them behind as he walks the road to hell.

He is Dante, and the sun is silent, and he will follow the three beasts in search of his soul. мама cannot come; мама must be left behind, and Boris will not look back once he steps away. But he has this moment, these last few minutes to memorize the hard lines of his mother’s face and ignore the tears hanging from her lashes. She, along with the rest of the world, will never understand: betrayal makes a man lonely, traps a man in his own cage and black heart.

No one will understand. But there must be one person who will see something redeemable in what he offers and who he is; there must be one soul who will see the survivor that roars within. So there is no other choice left to him but departure, but abandonment.

Despite the grief in her eyes, his mother’s voice is strong and unwavering; this is the woman he loves, this is the woman he will pray to long after this night. “мой сын.” She holds up a hand, and his palm meets hers, their fingers folding over each other’s hands in a loose goodbye.

Boris opens his mouth to tell her he loves him, and she cuts him off: “Enough. Go.”

But he does not budge; he is suddenly unable to move. For fear? For love? (Are they not one and the same?)

“Go,” she says again, the command a boulder that crushes all softness in its path. “And do not forget, Boris…”

He uncurls his fingers from hers and, without unlocking his gaze from hers, bows his head with deep respect for the woman who has held their family and Yekaterinburg and Verona together with an iron hand.

“Do not forget that you are mine.”

They are her last words to him, and as Boris walks away from the only home he has ever truly known, he mourns, regrets the fact that his mother’s last wishes will never be carried through. For Boris has never been hers, will never be hers. Perhaps, once, he was Damiano’s; but now, he belongs only to himself, and no one can take that away from him.

He keeps his expression neutral and solid, a mountain that withstands rivers and avalanches and invaders. After a deep breath and one last shudder of longing for the boy he once was, Boris Kovrov shuts this chapter of his life and walks away from Verona. He does not look back.

Extras:

Sexuality. Boris is bisexual. He prefers men over women (#daddy issues???), but he certainly likes to entertain both. Sex comes easily to Boris, and Boris enjoys sex very much. He lost his virginity when he was a teenager, and has made a point of becoming the best ever since.

Hobbies. Boris has little time for extracurricular activities outside of his work for the Spades (and, in the past, for the Montagues). But every night, before he goes to bed, Boris reads an old legend, of men who go to war and emerge victorious, of gods who smite down the pride of man with so little as a glance. It keeps him humble; but it also keeps him ambitious. To live below the gods’ reigns, but also to strive for a constellation of his own.

Personal care. No one would excuse Boris of lacking vanity. He is careful to keep his appearances in order; to be a powerful man, you must look the part, as well. His eyebrows are carefully plucked, his hair is always in place, and he always makes sure to moisturize.

Family. Boris hasn’t spoken to his family in years, but his first mission in Verona was to find out what happened to his family. His father was punished for his son’s betrayal (I would like for this to be an execution, but a banishment works also!) and his mother escaped Verona the same night he did. He was unable to find out where his mother ran to, but he certainly doesn’t intend to find out; that life is behind him, now.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Sherlock: The Lying Detective (4x02)

Okay. So. Anybody who has read ACD's short stories might be familiar with "The Dying Detective," a story wherein Holmes pretends to be grievously ill in order to catch a bad guy, and he doesn't clue Watson in on the plan. Going in to this episode, I knew that Sherlock would have a trick up his sleeve. How did it all pan out? Let's take a look.

Cons:

I have a lot of questions and complaints. To start with the briefest of plot summaries: Sherlock is in a terrible drug spiral, John is roped in to help him take down Culverton Smith, a very wealthy man who Sherlock believes to be a serial killer. In the end, John sees the video that Mary left for Sherlock, and realizes that Sherlock has "gone to Hell" in order to force John to save him, thus helping him to save himself. John shows up in time to stop Smith from killing Sherlock. John then confesses to the hallucinatory Mary that he's been seeing that he cheated on her emotionally for the last weeks of their relationship. Then there's a big giant twist, which I'll talk about in the "pros" section a bit later.

So. Problems. I have 'em.

I seriously want to punch Steven Moffat for the way he writes his female characters. It's gone beyond what I can in good conscience ignore. Molly gets like two seconds of screen time, as we see that she's been helping babysit Rosie. She also shows up to do a drug test on Sherlock and confirm that he's got weeks left to live if he keeps using at this rate. Then she's never there again. What a waste of a talented actor and a dynamic character. She has become nothing but a plot convenience, whose entire character is there to serve the emotional needs of the male leads.

Speaking of which, Mrs. Hudson was sort of a bad ass in this episode, as she cuffs Sherlock and stuffs him in a car to bring him to John, tired of his drug addled ways. This was a cool scene, but take a closer look: we later learn that Sherlock had predicted John's whereabouts and had told Mrs. Hudson to take him there. We also learn that Sherlock's entire emotional state is a long-con to "save John," so anything that happens to him while he's high is still all part of Sherlock's brilliant plan. We also get Mrs. Hudson saying that she's "not their housekeeper," but all she does in this episode is take care of poor baby Sherlock.

Irene Adler. You've got to be kidding me. She doesn't show up or anything, but she does send Sherlock a text on his birthday. This gives John the emotional catharsis he needs to tell Sherlock that he should grab the opportunity to go make out with Irene or something, since Mary's dead and John knows that chances don't last forever. Or something. My God, the forced heterosexuality is making my brain hurt. (As a side note, even Mycroft is given a female love interest in the form of Lady Smallwood. Can you not just throw us a bone? A tiny one? Nothing?) Irene literally, literally said that she was gay when we met her back in Series Two. I cannot believe they're still pulling this thing wherein she's supposedly attracted to women except Sherlock Holmes because he's just so awesome. Ew.

Mary spends the episode as John's hallucinatory guardian angel, constantly encouraging him to get back to his predestined life on Baker Street with Sherlock. It feels a bit like a slap in the face. Mary was never my favorite, and I thought a lot of the crazy crap she did was forgiven way too easily. But to have her in the story just to remind John that he belongs with Sherlock is just... it's just... oy vey. It's almost like saying "oh, that was a fun little experiment having a woman around to mess with our bromantic relationship. But Mary's gone now, back to business as usual!" And you have Mary herself giving John her blessing for this. And John "confesses" his affair to his mental delusion, so that we can see Mary smile sagely and tell John to go be the man she always believed him to be. This is just blatant proof that Mary's entire character arc, including most definitely her death, was there to serve the emotional catharsis of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. It's Moffat's woman problem all over again. Some things never change.

And John... John's actually kind of a bad person? I don't know how to feel about this. Basically, Mary's plan was to have Sherlock fall so deep into despair that John would come through for him. But the fact is, John didn't. He didn't come to save Sherlock until he saw the video and realized that Sherlock was putting himself in harm's way to get through to John. Here's my big problem with this: earlier in the episode, Molly Hooper confirmed, with John standing right there, that Sherlock would be dead in a few weeks if he didn't stop using. And John did nothing. He knew how badly off the rails Sherlock was, and yet he still beat him to a bloody pulp and accused him of killing his wife. These things can be explained by John's anger and grief, absolutely. But for him to actually follow through with being a dick? For him to actually leave Sherlock to his drug-addled fate? The fact is, John's not an idiot. He sees how bad off Sherlock is, he believes it to be the actual truth. He'd need to be an idiot to not connect Sherlock's current state with Mary's death and their estrangement. And John does nothing until his dead wife shows up in a video to let him know that Sherlock is basically killing himself for John's sake.

I'm sorry, but... what a dick. This is sort of explained in the emotional catharsis moment, where John and Sherlock talk about their hetero love interests (barf) and John says that Mary was wrong about him being a good man. He says he wants to try and be the man she believed him to be. But that's just not... it's not... it doesn't hold true with anything we've seen of John's character. He is a good man. We've seen that time and again. He's loyal and forgiving and brave and smart and all of those things. His behavior in the last episode and in this one comes across as completely out of character. It's like they turned him into a jerk so that he could have an emotional breakthrough about how he's a jerk. That's not good character development. That's a lazy backslide leading to a cheap payoff. This development is also, apparently, supposed to be so that Sherlock could realize that John was "only human." I take it this was supposed to be a clever inversion. We've been so focused on how John views Sherlock, that we missed how Sherlock views John as this morally upstanding, untouchable god of goodness. Interesting in theory. In execution? Weak sauce.

Sherlock Holmes is always going to be a million steps ahead of everybody else. This is what makes a Sherlock Holmes story. I get that. In fact, this episode pulled it off successfully when Sherlock shows up at John's therapist appointment, having arranged to be there a full week before John even made the appointment. This was clever, and showed off Sherlock's deductive powers. The whole idea of going in to a drug spiral and using it to save John is also okay. But what I can't abide? He's drugged to the gills and being kept in Culverton Smith's grasp. At Smith's request, he says "I don't want to die" several times, actually choking up and starting to cry. We later learn that not only did he swap out his IV with saline, so that he wasn't actually being killed of an overdose, but that he also had a recording device placed in John's walking stick, because he somehow deduced that John would leave it as a parting gift for him, and that this would be how he'd catch Smith's confession on tape.

Nope. I'm sorry, nope. The whole thing works better if Sherlock actually does lose control over his faculties. I wanted him to be in actual, real danger of dying due to his drug use, not just the fact that Culverton decided to suffocate him. Sherlock was pretty messed up all episode due to his drug use, but at the end we learn that his actual plan went off without a hitch. Which is... pretty lame.

Lastly, we've got Culverton Smith, the villain who ended up coming across as even more of a cartoon than Moriarty. He was creepy, sure, and there were a few really great and chilling moments, like when he's messing with the corpses in the morgue. But in the end he's just a standard ego maniac who confesses to all of his crimes once the Great Sherlock Holmes takes him down with an elaborate plan that nobody else could have put into motion with such perfect ease. It's a little bit of a letdown. I thought this guy was going to be the real deal.

Pros:

Oh boy. I had a lot to complain about. One of the most difficult things about this damn show is that right alongside all of these legitimate and very serious complaints you have... off-the-charts incredible acting.

Benedict Cumberbatch gave an insane performance as Sherlock Holmes. Last week, I thought he was a bit hokey when playing high, but this week he was on it. My God. I really don't even know what to say about this. I won't bore you with too many examples, but just... the look on his face as John tells him he killed Mary, and then the look on his face later when John takes it back. The unbalanced, out of sorts way he deals with Faith Smith (Culverton's daughter... I'll get there in a minute). I think my favorite bit was his breakdown when he tries to attack Culverton with the scalpel. That was pure unadulterated panic on his face. He was scared and confused and I really don't think that level of animosity was in his original plan. Sherlock spends an entire evening with Faith Smith, and later meets her and realizes that the whole thing was a hallucination. (Sort of. Discussion of plot twist is forthcoming). His reaction when he realizes just how far gone he is... wow. Sherlock needed to let himself fall out of control for the sake of the plan, but I think even he wasn't anticipating it to go this far.

I mentioned how annoyed I was by Mrs. Hudson's service in the plot, but I do have to mention she was a total bad ass. She turned on the tears to get John to agree to see Sherlock, kidnapped Sherlock, held him at gunpoint, shoved him in her car... which is an awesome sports car, by the way. She also called Mycroft a "reptile" and kicked him out of her home, which was just beautiful in like twelve different ways.

Sherlock and John's relationship. Okay. So. It annoys me that Sherlock was so many steps ahead of everybody. And it annoys me that John wasn't going to save him until he learned it was a plan. It annoys me that they talk about their female love interests in their one and only intimate scene together. But my God. That scene. Sherlock is timid and apologetic and everything else in between. He desperately doesn't want John to leave, and John makes it pretty clear that he's only there because he has to watch Sherlock and make sure he doesn't get high again. There's this moment when John gets up to leave, and Sherlock asks "are you alright?" He's not saying it because he thinks he should. He's saying it because he really, really needs to know the answer. Everything he's been through, all the pain and the drugs and all that, he was doing because he wanted John to be alright. In this moment, he just wants to know if his plan was worth it. John breaks down, after talking to Hallucination!Mary for a moment, and then. Then. Sherlock Holmes gets up and holds John while he cries. He rests his head against John's and just cradles him. It was just the perfect moment and even if the lead-up to it had its problems... wow. I'm so grateful I got to witness that.

We've arrived at the last thing I need to talk about: the plot twist. Which was actually sort of several plot twists nested within each other. Everybody has been waiting for the secret Holmes brother, Sherringford. Mycroft actually brings up the name multiple times. We still don't know who Sherringford is, though... unless it's a code name meant to represent Eurus. Eurus Holmes, the East Wind... Mycroft and Sherlock's secret sister. Not only is she a secret sister, but we've actually already seen her. Three. Times. She's the girl on the bus that John had been texting with back when Mary was still alive. She's "Faith Smith," the woman who spends an evening with an extremely high Sherlock Holmes. Turns out, not a hallucination after all... just Sherlock's sister. And finally, she's John's therapist, a woman who sits across from him and listens to him talk about himself. As the episode ends, Eurus reveals the truth to John, and then points a gun at him, holding him hostage.

Eep! These little shits have been planning this for so long. Sherlock talks about the "East Wind" back at the end of last season, and how Mycroft once used it as a scary story to frighten him. And we all knew something was fishy about that woman on the bus. And when Sherlock thought he'd hallucinated a whole person, something seemed wrong about that. And then suddenly John's new therapist... just... wow. We're all culpable, because we all (or at least most of us) didn't see it coming. This woman was in last week's episode, and she was in this episode twice, playing two completely different characters, and I didn't notice it was the same person. That's... really impressive. Not only from the actress, but from the script and the care it took to make these people blend in. Sherlock saw "Faith" through a haze of drugs. John interacted with his therapist across an emotional and physical divide that made him never truly looking into her eyes. I cannot believe John was having an emotional affair with Sherlock's sister. I cannot believe John is being held hostage again. How many times does that make it? I can't believe that Moffat used his disgusting and unfortunate trend of setting women aside in the narrative in order to trick us into ignoring the answer that was right in front of us. It was... brilliant.

I'm forced to admit that this plot twist did a lot in making me come away from the episode with a positive impression. I can't wait to see how the newest Holmes sibling shakes things up. Apparently this is what happens when somebody as brilliant as Mycroft or Sherlock truly goes over to the dark side. It should make for an interesting finale.

My concern, going in to our last episode of Sherlock, maybe ever, but at the very least for several years, is that there's really no way to wrap up all of these dangling plot threads. What about all the ominous hints we've been getting about Mycroft's death? If he does die, will there be enough time to handle the fallout? And what about Moriarty? Is he tied in any way to Eurus, or is this another dangling thread? I feel concerned about what they've taken on, since this show has never been super great at wrapping things up to anybody's satisfaction. We'll have to see how it goes!

7/10

[spiderfan22]

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND FOURTEEN - 2/22/17

“THE MACHINE IS RECORDING” by DJS

Remember what I was saying yesterday about starting with only the faintest impulse of an idea?  The barest trace of a character or dialogue, or a setting.  And how sometimes it can go just wrong, meaning the scene goes nowhere. You never latch onto anything.

THIS is not one of those scenes.  This scene started from a blip of an image – a man handcuffed to a chair. Hardly original.  But the places this scene went, the dynamic that developed between the characters.  For me at least, holy shit.  Suffice it to say, I am very excited by this piece of writing.  It’s bizarre in its intimacy and that’s the best thing I think it has going for it.  Plus I simply loved crafting this dialogue.  Very proud.

Check this motherfucker out, will you?  

The scene is what can only accurately be described as an interrogation room.  A table with a machine on it.  Two chairs.  Handcuffed to one of the chairs is the subject, a man in his late twenties or early thirties.  His clothes are non-descript, rather bland.  He is sweating a little.   A light on the machine blinks every few seconds.

After a long moment of silence, the door shoots open and the doctor enters briskly.  He is dressed in a tailored suit and carries with him a clipboard.  

DOCTOR:      (cheerily) Morning!

SUBJECT:     (more sober) Morning, sir.

DOCTOR:      Had your breakfast, have you?

SUBJECT:     Yes sir.

DOCTOR:      Good, good. ‘Fraid I didn’t have the time. But I was able to grab a cup of coffee from the canteen, so I should be more or less in the right head space for our session today.  Wouldn’t want to give you any less than my best.  (chuckles)

SUBJECT:     Yes sir.

DOCTOR:  Now – we will begin as we always do, with a series of yes or no questions.  I will ask the question and you will answer, either in the affirmative, or the negative.  First thing that comes to your mind.  Any questions before we get started, son?

SUBJECT:     No sir.

DOCTOR:  And you can drop the “sir” business for the time being.  The machine is recording and anything beyond a Yes or No will confuse it. Very fussy, but it gets results. At least that’s what they tell me.

                                   (The doctor presses a series of buttons on the machine.)

DOCTOR:  Now then, here we are, first question:  Did you sleep last night?

SUBJECT:  Yes.

DOCTOR:  And you woke up?

SUBJECT:     Yes.

DOCTOR:  Is any part of you confused you might be dreaming right now?

SUBJECT:  No.

DOCTOR:  Not even a doubt in your mind – you are conscious.

SUBJECT:  Y-yes.

DOCTOR:  Try not to stutter, son, messes with the recording.

SUBJECT:  Sorry sir –

DOCTOR:  Uhp, uhp! Nothing extraneous please.  Moving on:  How are things at home?

SUBJECT:  yes.

DOCTOR:  Your wife?

SUBJECT:  yes.

DOCTOR:  Very good, very good.  Regular oral pleasure?

SUBJECT:  Yes.

DOCTOR:  And everything else regular – I mean on that front?

SUBJECT:  yes.

DOCTOR:  Good, excellent.  Worries the council when things aren’t, you know… like clockwork.  (brief pause)  Your wife – does she still share a bed with you?  (before subject can answer)  Outside the marital bed that is.

SUBJECT:  yes.

DOCTOR:  She kick you at night, make it hard to get your proper eight hours?

SUBJECT:  No.

DOCTOR:  But you snore I bet.  And I’d wager she complains a good deal about that.

SUBJECT:  Is that a question sir –

DOCTOR:  yes or no, Major, yes or no, please.

SUBJECT:  Yes sir.

DOCTOR:  And cut out the “sir” I thought I said.

SUBJECT:  yes.

DOCTOR:  Good… good. Had to make my lady take up residence in a flat across the hall.  Lucky building management could swing it or she would have been on another floor entirely. Still, considering the prospect, a little distance makes the heart, and all that rubbish.  (waits)  Well, do you agree or disagree?

SUBJECT:  Yes.

DOCTOR:  Of course you do, only natural.  You’re a man, after all.

SUBJECT:  yes.

DOCTOR:  Am I a man?

SUBJECT:  yes.

DOCTOR:  And you’re sure of that?

SUBJECT:  Yes.

DOCTOR:  You know, some of these may seem like trick questions, like we’re trying to get you, trap you.

                                               (The doctor says no more.)

SUBJECT:     Sir - ?

DOCTOR:  Yes, moving on, moving on.  Don’t push me, son, we’ll get there in the end.  Have some faith.  (consulting his papers)  Now.  Enjoy the company of men, do you?

SUBJECT:  Yes.

DOCTOR:  Playing cards, that sort of thing?

SUBJECT:  Yes.

DOCTOR:  Nothing else?

SUBJECT:  no.

DOCTOR:  You’re sure nothing else?  Not even a quick go in the loo?

SUBJECT:  No.

DOCTOR:  Never, not once?

SUBJECT:  No.

DOCTOR:  But, presented with the opportunity, surely…

SUBJECT:  No.

DOCTOR:  Now I find that fascinating.  Care to know why?

SUBJECT:   yes.

DOCTOR:  Well, I’m just the opposite.  Take anything I can get.  Bloke or dame, doesn’t matter.  Long as they’re clean.  And with the mandatory testing they got now - hm, well.  (sniffs)  Pretty much a foregone conclusion.  Isn’t it?

SUBJECT:  Yes.

DOCTOR:  So, blunt question: what’s stopping you?

SUBJECT:  Sir?

DOCTOR:  Uhp – yes or no answers, remember.  There is a process.

SUBJECT:  Yes.

DOCTOR:  Is it the thought of being unfaithful to your wife?

SUBJECT:  Yes. – No.

DOCTOR:  Because that’s a consideration.  Sure that’s a consideration.   Guilt. Like a goddamn hammer.  

SUBJECT:  Yes.

 DOCTOR:  But you thought about it, weighed the possibility.  Maybe even took the first few twists down that road.  Well, you’re a girl watcher after all, bred to be.  Literally, bred.    (then)  And while the Good Book tells us:  “Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s wifey, no matter how big her tits,” you do, don’t you, mate?  Can’t resist ‘em.  Well how could you?  Not in that jumper.  She was asking for it – begging.  Sorry state of the world.

SUBJECT:  yes.

DOCTOR:  Not to worry though.  Nothing leaves this room.  You believe that, don’t you?

SUBJECT:  Yes.

DOCTOR:  Good. Trust…. Is…. Key.

                                   (Long pause. The doctor turns off the machine.)

Well! That’s it!  First part over.  Nicely done, I must say.

SUBJECT:  (coughs) May I –

DOCTOR:  Oh yes, of course, speak freely.  Let it all out.  Really no fun for me either on this side of the table - being so hard-nosed with you. Not in my character to be, what is it, what do they call them in the movies?  The heavy!  Ah, right! Yes, well, look at me and you can deduce that much.  A comic heavy maybe.  The one’s always cracking wise, defusing the tension in the scene, bumbling, trip over his own feet, drop his gun and have it go off.  No one gets hurt, mind.  Gangster films.   You like those?  Seen any?

SUBJECT:  Uh, a few.

DOCTOR:  (pulling out a pack of a cigarettes and lighting up) Favorite of mine.  Never miss a series.  (offers pack to subject)   Care to indulge?

SUBJECT:  Yes. Thank you, sir.

                       (He takes a cigarette and the doctor lights it for him.  The subject smokes with his free hand. They smoke for a moment, exhale.)

DOCTOR:  You’re not a bad looking fellow all things considered.  Purely objective, mind you.  Nothing wrong with giving another man a compliment, long as it’s to point him in the right direction.  No, a kid with your looks could go far he capitalized on what God had given him. It’s called a blessing for a reason, son.

                                   (The subject nods.)

                       Bet you got some muscle in them jockeys, too.  Would have to.  After all, the missus must be satisfied.  Ha-ha!  Women. Insatiable creatures.  Why, ever since we took away the silly cunts’ right to vote it’s been like a seesaw, only it’s all up for us men, no down.  Not much of a ride though, is it?  Well, I’m sure your thoughts run along similar lines.

SUBJECT:  (non-committal) Mmnn.

DOCTOR:  Enjoying that cigarette?  Hit the spot, does it?

SUBJECT:  Yes sir. Thank you.

DOCTOR:  Don’t get to do much smoking, I’d wager.  Not on C Level.

SUBJECT:  No sir. Can’t afford it.

DOCTOR:  Nasty ritual. You know they used to think these things were addicting.  Just goes to show what historical perspective can teach you.  But it’s just possible I’m an anomaly as far as that goes.  A nutter for research I am.  Keep abreast of all the latest clinical trials. Better living through dissection and all that.

SUBJECT:  yes sir.

DOCTOR:  Do I frighten you?  

SUBJECT:  no sir.

DOCTOR:  Please, be honest.

SUBJECT:  I am, sir. And while it’s not my favorite part of my day coming here, it’s certainly not anything I dread either.  Always a change of pace.

                                   (The doctor blushes and can’t speak for a moment.)

DOCTOR:  Well, that’s kind of you to say.  Really, you didn’t have to.

SUBJECT:  I know that, sir.  And thanks for the fag.

DOCTOR:  You are most welcome.

                       (The subject offers the doctor the cigarette butt.  This should read like an intimate gesture.  The doctor takes it.  It’s no more than a stub, but the doctor impulsively sticks the butt in his mouth and sucks on the end.  The subject watches this.  Then the doctor, appearing satisfied, spits the butt onto the floor.  He takes up his clipboard.  Smiles.)

                       Back to it then, shall we?

SUBJECT:  Yes, sir. Back to it.