#oh john youre so dumb but we love you anyway and so does arthur

[storytellering]

Anyone ordered a side of modern au cowboys being sweet on eachother for valentine's?

[iivyhearts]

jealous

john marston x reader

-

tags: sean having a tiny crush on you, jealousy (obviously), reunions, love confessions, getting together

✥﹤┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈﹥✥

it had been a few weeks, maybe 3, since you'd seen your best friend sean. the two of you got split at blackwater, and you were worried he might of fallen to the wrong hands. everyone wasn't too worried, but every day when arthur comes back in you bother him for any information on sean; and every day he sighs and tells you there's been nothing.

you found comfort in john; the two of you had grown closer throughout the blackwater chaos. you had stuck with john when it happened, and went out to find him when you were all on the mountain. the two of you were being teased for being 'flirty' with each other. the two of you were growing closer, much closer, and every night you confide your worry in him.

you're sitting at the campfire, playing cards with hosea as dutch tells some story from his childhood. john is pacing around, you both share glances and shy smiles and every time hosea nudges your foot teasingly. "john, sit down. you're making me nervous." uncle sighs, your friend sneers. "gimme a minute, i'm thinkin'." he grumbles. "don't hurt yourself." you joke, meeting his eyes with a glance. "ha-ha." he laughs sarcastically. you smile to yourself, placing your card down.

john is stuck. he really wants to ask you out, but the idea of rejection is terrifying. you were so lovely, in every way, and john craves you. the two of you have shared beds, woke up together in fits of laughter and he wants it to stay like that. john approaches you, smiling at you; ready to ask for a conversation when arthur's voice calls out to you, and you perk up. "we have your boy!" you immediately get up, knocking the card pile over and almost tripping as you sprint through the camp.

"y/n!" sean beams, the two of you meet in a bone crushing hug. you can't help but sob as the irishman hauls you up into his arms, spinning you. "you're so fucking dead, macguire." you laugh, resting your forehead against his neck. "oh, cmon! gimme a little lovin'!" he laughs, putting you down carefully. your smile is huge, and sean copies it; arms sneaking around your waist to squeeze you. "i've missed you." you mumble, he nods. "believe me, i did too. them bastards didn't laugh at any of my jokes." sean pouts. "ohh, you poor thing."

after separating from sean, you catch sight of john. he's storming off into the woods, your smile falters. "come share a drink wit' me?" sean asks, you look back at him. "i will in a minute, the night's young. i'm just gonna go do something first." you smile, jogging after your friend. "well, let's start a party!" you hear sean call out to the camp, everyone sounds happy at the idea.

"john?" you yell, searching the woods for him. "john?!" after stumbling through some bushes, you find john brooding at a tree. "hey... what's wrong?" you frown, john scoffs. "nothing. go away." he grumbles, not even looking at you. "john, tell me." approaching him, you round him to look at his face. john goes to look away, but you touch his arm and his anger almost melts completely. "just go..." he begs, eyes meeting yours.

"talk to me." you reply, john sighs. "it's nothing. go have fun, sleep with sean. i don't care." you almost flinch back at his sour words. "john- what?" you furrow your brows, he laughs. "don't act dumb. you like him don't you?" john's question makes you laugh breathily. "of course i do, he's my friend."

"you know i don't mean it like that. you love sean, don't you?" john's arms cross over his chest, you feel rather taken aback. "what? no!" you laugh, but john's expression is serious. "john, you can't be serious... i mean, sean?" you try to get him to smile, but he seems genuinely upset.

"why does it matter anyway?" you ask, stepping a little closer so he'd look at you. "why does it- does any of this matter to you?!" john stands up fully, gesturing between the two of you. "john-"

"has all of this been some fuckin' fling whilst you waited on sean to come back?" he snarls, you back away slightly. "what?? john, no! i don't know what you're thinking right now but i can assure you, i don't love sean like that. he's like my brother." you reply, a tightening in your chest. "why are you being like this..?" you add on, john huffs out a laugh. "because i love you!"

silence covers the two of you; you blink at john as he looks away. "i should go-" he mumbles, but you stop him. "no, don't..." you don't know why, but your voice is equally as quiet. "john... why didn't you tell me sooner?" you frown. "i was gonna do it tonight, but sean made his grand entry." he pouts, glaring at a leaf on the floor. you laugh, and john looks up at you. "wha-?"

you lips meet his, and he almost jumps back until he realises what's going on. john melts into the kiss, his hands finding your hips as yours gently grasp his neck. "i love you too, john. not sean." you smile, john lets out a relieved laugh. "thank god. i felt like an idiot there." you giggle, kissing him again. "oi, lovebirds!" an irish drawl interrupts you. the two of you split, flustering. "this is what you ditched me for? i'm hurt." sean fakes hurt dramatically, you laugh. "alright, macguire. get your ass to your party." you laugh, the redhead rolls his eyes.

"don't go shaggin' now. i want my best mate wit' me tonight." sean wanders back to camp, leaving you and john alone. the two of you glance at each other before dissolving into laughter. john kisses you briefly a few more times, trailing them down your neck. you've never seen him so happy. "so..." you trail off, john meets your gaze with lovesick eyes.

"are we gonna put a stamp on this?" your fingers trace over his neck gently, john smiles. "if you wanna, i don't mind as long as we're together." he grins, his forehead bumping yours. "then it's official, but let's tell everyone at a different time. tonight's sean's night." you grin back, kissing him one last time before taking his hand. "c'mon, firecracker; before sean comes back and shoots us." you laugh, tugging your boyfriend back to camp.

[peakascum]

Trouble (pt. 2)

Holy fuck I went through 20 different emotions writing this. Idk if it’s any good, I really hope you all like it. Also I want to add the song I listened to on repeat while writing this just because, https://open.spotify.com/track/321cXoYTsPtmNaVGubsz4o?si=jXiwELdgRY6ZNXVEOm9A3Q

A week had passed since the fight between you and John. He slept over at Tommy’s house, while you stayed at Polly’s. He had tried to visit once and apologize but was met with the barrel of Polly’s gun against his cheek.Polly knew her nephews well and saw how John was hurting. His eyes were dull, his skin was pale, and he was never seen without a bottle in hand. 

As the day dragged on, Tommy called him into his office, unable to see him sulking anymore. “So this,” he gestured to John, “is how you plan on patching things up with your wife?” John looked at him through his lashes. “Fuck off Tommy, I don’t even know what to do anymore.”

Tom’s eyes hardened. “Fuck- Fuck off? Fuck off?,” he hit the surface of his desk loudly and stood up, “fuck off John. Fuck you.” His brother stared at him wide eyed. “Why the hell are you yelling at me for, ey? I tried apologizing but she didn't want to see me!” Now the whole betting shop was listening, even those placing bets. “I tried talking to her two days ago but I couldn’t! Why? Because you,” he stood up and pointed a finger at Tom, “you fucking sent her, my fucking wife, to deal with the fucking Russians.” Both brothers squared up, the only thing separating them being Tommy’s desk. John’s breathing was heavy, his eyes glassy and hands shaking. But he did have a point. 

*flashback*

The plan was for the brothers and you to attend the Russian party, but the evening before John had crossed the line once again. The family gathered in the den of the Garrison going over their parts.You and John sat on opposite sides, but you were hoping that after the meeting you would speak to at least be civil in front of the Russians. Then the barmaid entered, a new woman, beautiful, and just John’s type. 

After his eyes lingered on her for the tenth time that night you just about had it. “You know what, fuck you John and fuck you Tommy. I’m out.”

“The fuck-“

“Y/N!” Tommy exclaimed and grabbed your arm. “Don’t do this now. I know it’s tough but this is business.”

“This,” you said gesturing to the room, “may be business, Tom, but I am sick and tired of being disrespected by my husband in front of his- no, our family.” John snorted, obviously drunk beyond words. “How many times are we gonna go over this Y/N, ey?” You stared at each other, your eyes speaking defeat. “I am done being humiliated John. Fuck her for all I care.” 

“Fuck her? Ha! Fuck her? Oh, fuck me Y/N! Do you know how long I-“

“How long you what?” Polly suddenly interjected making the room quiet. “How long you what John?” She stared at the men’s faces grabbing your and Ada’s hands before saying, “Women are not pets. Wives are not slaves. We are not fragile or dumb. Built differently, possess different skills, but we can kill a man faster than any of you pigs could ever.” She looked over at John’s riled up frame before continuing, “Keep your cock to yourself John. One day you will find yourself surrounded by whores and death and loneliness, and then, just when you think that you've got it all, her face,” she said pointing at you, “will flash right before your sorry eyes, and your life will be reduced to pure shit.” 

You stared at Polly wide eyed while John stared at her. Polly’s always fucking right.

Tommy stared at the three women intently and then at John and a real silent Arthur. “You know what,” he paused to take a drag of his cigarette, “Pol, Ada, and Y/N, you will be attending the dinner with the Russians. We will place Blinders outside for your protection.” He stood up ignoring Arthur’s protests and shut him up with a single look. “Don’t be pathetic. You heard her, different skills, but we all know who’s the best shot in all of Birmingham.”

*flashback ends*

Thomas Shelby had sent his aunt, sister and sister in law into the hands of one of his most dangerous enemies, and boy was John mad. He knew he was in the wrong, but he just couldn't stop pissing off his wife. 

They had yet to return. No one had heard a word from them since they left last night, leaving a nervous Tommy and a distraught John to do something they had never been good at, sit around and wait. 

“Why do you care so much anyway, Tommy?” John asked sitting down once again. 

“I care because your wife is family and of great value to this company. Nobody can do their job right while having all his fucking tension between you.” Tom was very fond of you ever since Grace died. He had always liked you, but after her death you helped with Charlie a lot while never failing to keep your house in check, and do your job well at the betting shop. He admired you. 

John knew he kept fucking up, but he knew that it was just his self destructing methods. He felt embarrassed and the only thing he could do was sulk and act out. 

“Fix this John, you're not dad.” This caused John to look at his brother. A silent understanding between them. Oh, how cruel their father had been. 

John took a breath and his eyes watered, “How am I suppose to fix this Tom, ey? She hates me.” His voice broke at the statement, hands coming up to play with his lips. “She hasn't come back from a dangerous mission that you put her through, and she hates me.” Tommy pointed at him as he brought the cigarette to his lips, “Fucking fix it.”

The night set in once again, bringing in a cold wind of desperation and an all too uncomfortable silence. The act of waiting and never been easy for the Shelby men, much less waiting for the three most important women in their lives. As the night got darker, so did John’s thoughts. Images of you hurt haunted him. His words and actions, all uncalled for, haunted him. 

In a matter of minutes the door to the shop burst open and in ran the three women and a pack of Blinders. The once quiet shop was booming with voices and people, all talking at the same time. John elbowed through them searching for your figure, but you ran past him making your way over to Tommy.

You placed a single piece of paper in his hand with a triumphant smile, “Here are the codes and the address to where the jewels are stashed.” 

“I swear to God, the skills on that girl are unmatched.” Ada said proudly as the plopped on a nearby chair. You giggled tiredly and accepted the praise. “Oh please, what about Polly’s tricks, ey? Swear to God Polly’l have to stay away from Sunday service for a while.” The girls laughed. 

“Oh come on boys, you jealous we had all the fun?” Polly said as she watched her nephew’s confused faces. “Yeh, all right Poll. Just glad you're safe.” Tom said as he took out the whisky bottles. 

John came over to you silently, eyes scanning your figure. The dress you wore slightly ruffled and quite revealing, making his heart quicken. You had dried blood on your cheek and hair in knots, which tore at his heartstrings lightly. 

“Y/N?” He said, locking eyes with you. “What happened to your hair,” he gestured to to you, “and your clothes and cheek.”

You looked at him and said, “It’s just business, John.” Oh, how his own words came to bite him in the ass. “Just business, ey? Just-“ he paused and ran a hand through his face. He took your hand gently and dragged you to his office.

This was the first time you were alone in a while. John took a seat on one of the chairs with his arms resting on his knees, looking defeated. 

“How’d you get the codes Y/N?” He asked peering his eyes at you. 

“Does it matter wh-“

“Yes it does matter!” He screamed, “it does matter how my wife got the most guarded codes in all of Birmingham.” 

You looked at him with tears in your eyes, “I didn’t fuck anyone if that’s what you're implying John.” 

“It- it’s okay if you did. I wouldn't blame you.” He says softly. You scoffed. “I’m not you John.”

He stood from the chair and approached you slowly. His hands caressed your face gently, wiping away the dried blood that latched onto your skin after the Russians didn't comply. His eyes wrinkled a little, those same eyes that lit up every time he saw you walk in. The eyes that desired you after a night of work, when the world was quiet and you could built palaces out of pillows and sheets.

“You've been so horrible to me.” Your lower lip wobbled as you spoke. He flinched a little, feeling his heart break further. “Why would you do that? Have I been so horrible that you would hurt me like that?”

His shook his head quickly in an attempt to make the words fall out of his ears. “I will never forgive myself, but it will never happen again. It- it just fucking won’t.” His voice cracked, “It fucking won’t.”

He started pecking your lips repeatedly, tears mixing with each other, being the first to reconcile. He made his way to her neck and collarbone with is hands following by gripping your sides. Why had they started fighting? 

Your hands gripped his hair softly out of instinct. You had known each other for so long and had loved each other far too passionately to be fighting like this. 

His lips reached your belly, “I promise to be better, I promise.” 

The betting shop had quietened and your rage had passed. “Me too,” and it was a promise. 

“Don’t leave,” and it was an i love you.

Tags: @peakywitch

[moral-turpitudes]

Unfinished Business: Part 2

Trigger Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Mentions of past abuse, Blood, Fighting, Swearing, etc. 

Characters: Thomas Shelby x Reader

+ random character/group I made up (Romboldi & The Black Hats)

Word Count: 3,548

Summary: Y/n’s secret gets out and the gang scrambles to put an end to the Black Hats. But one thing is for certain, nothing is more terrifying than when the hunter becomes the hunted.

Requested by: @msbzowy​ 

Part 1 | Part 2 

Y/n took a deep breath before walking into the meeting room with Tommy, her hand slightly clamming up in his. Despite their love for her, she couldn’t shake the thoughts from her head about them possibly hating her.

Walking through the mahogany doors, the frenzied conversations stopped, as all eyes landed on Y/n.

Polly gasped and she immediately walked over to her, enveloping her in a huge hug. Ada followed, complimenting her new look as she made her way to her.

“What the fuck y/n you’re supposed to be ruling New York by now!” Arthur said rather loudly, coming over and pulling her into a rough embrace.

“Nice to see you too Arthur.” She said chuckling as she made her rounds around the room.

John handed her a shot and gave her a hug, with Finn and Michael joining in shortly after. She knocked the shot back and made her way over to a pregnant Esme and scowling Linda.

“Nice to see you both! Gosh I’ve missed you!” She said gently hugging Esme and awkwardly hugging Linda. She never did like her too much as Y/n noticed early on in their relationship.

After exchanging pleasantries she waltzed back over to Tommy, taking a seat by him and lacing their hands together. Polly smirked, her eyebrow raised at he interaction.

“So tell me y/n...how is New York?” She asked, taking a sip of her tea.

“Oh it’s...well it’s New York. Crowded, loud, cars everywhere. But there’s sky-high buildings that are being built, it’s amazing to see. She said taking her hand from Tommy’s and placing it in her lap.

“Do you like it more than Small Heath?” She asked.

“God no. I grew up here Poll. This is home.” She said, leaning back in the chair.

“Oi! Y/n, not to be so forward but what the hell are you back in this shit hole for?” He asked, handing her a glass full of whiskey. She smiled and took a sip, looking at Tommy.

“Is it alright if I tell them?” She asked, knowing Tommy usually handled the tough conversations.

“Go ahead love.” He said. Her heart jumped at the nickname, it’s been so long since she’d heard it.

Taking a swig of whiskey, she stood up and walked towards the head of the table slowly.

“So, I know last time we parted ways a bit harshly. But all past feelings aside, I actually came here on business...and it involves everyone here...” She said looking down at her drink in her hand.

“That doesn’t sound good. What kind?” Michael asked.

“Uh, Mafia business. Mr. Romboldi....of the Black Hats.” She said taking another sip of her drink.

“God them fuckers again? How the hell did ya get involved with those rats? He already blew our shit up last time!” Arthur said, his brows furrowing.

She looked nervously at Thomas, and he just quickly nodded for her to continue, all emotion leaving his face.

“Well, you all know how I can’t just sit around, so I went job searching when I got there. Not long after, I noticed how dangerous it was being there on my own. I was almost attacked a couple times...” She said brushing a stray hair out of her face. Gently steering the conversation away from that subject.

“Anyways...I needed protection, and plus, I had skills that other jobs didn’t need so I went to the source of why I left. I decided I’d work for the Black Hats but not to betray anyone, just to get money coming in, get some protection, and maybe some information over time. They don’t know I’m actually Y/n Y/l/n. I’ve been working undercover. I’ve been using an alias, faking an accent, and using fake papers to get my bearings in the gang. And I’m now their contract killer.” She said knocking back the last of the drink. She let the first half of the news sink in, walking towards Tommy, placing a hand on the back of his chair.

“Holy shit. Really?” John asked.

“Yeah. I’ve killed people all over the country to earn that spot. I’m not proud of how I got it, but I had to do what I had to do.” She said looking away, out the window at the people milling about.

“Oi! Bet they gave ya a nickname like one of them spies aye?” Arthur asked jokingly.

Y/n chuckled and nodded her head.

“It’s dumb but I liked it at the time. They called me Quick Shot.” She said chuckling.

“I got it on a mission when I was sniping for his men one night. The people that were on the list came up and I took them out quick, no one really knew where the shots came from but I was gone before they could find out.” She said.

“Damn.” John mumbled.

“But you’re back here though dear...why? Why does this involve us?” She asked concerned. Polly could always steer the conversations back to the problems at hand. Often times she had the most sense of the group.

Y/n walked away from Tommy and over to the whiskey and poured another glass as she spoke.

“As we all know, the last deal went sour to say the least, so he wants something else. He told me he wants Tommy’s gin. He wants to distribute it in America, and to get stocks and shit. So...he sent me here to persuade Tommy to pay full price for them running it back. He won’t be lowballed again. Over my two years there, I’ve unfortunately gotten to know how he works, and if he comes after one person he comes after the rest just the same. If Tommy refuses, he will most likely kill me and him, as well as anyone in relation to the Peaky Blinders.” She said sternly.

“My god...” Polly said, sipping her tea as she looked at Tommy. His face still the same. But y/n could practically see the gears turning in his head again, another plan in the works.

“So they don’t know you have history with us?” Ada asked.

“No. And if they find out, you might as well kiss me goodbye. They may be stupid but they can sense someone who’s faking. I honestly don’t know how I’ve made it this long if I’m honest.” She said sitting back by Tommy, sighing and rubbing her temple. The drinks going to her head slightly.

Tommy shuffled in his seat and got up, standing behind her chair, speaking sternly.

“I’ve made a plan. It must be followed exactly as I say. No exceptions.” He said, Ada rolled her eyes bracing herself for whatever wild plan was about to spew from his mouth.

“Y/n is going to call Mr. Romboldi from a pay phone to tell him I accept the offer. When they get here in a weeks time, we’re going to meet them in Charlie’s yard. I’m going to order crates to be shipped there with my fucking gin, and you all will stand by while I negotiate. To help Y/n stay out of their grasp, we’re going to place her on sniper duty. If they ask about her, don’t tell them anything, act like you’ve never met her.” He said.

“And what if word gets out? You know it travels around here.” Linda said.

“Then you’ll just have to keep your trap shut so it doesn’t. Not until this business is dealt with. I’m sure you can manage.” Y/n said annoyed. Linda glared at her. She was always a chatty one.

Tommy smirked, and looked down at his watch.

“Y/n?” Tommy asked.

“Yes?” She said looking at him, her eyes boring into his.

“You’re going to go to the pay phone tomorrow like we discussed, but try to keep it simple. I don’t want him asking too many questions.” He said.

“Alright. What time?”

“Noon”. He said, walking over and pouring himself a glass of whiskey.

“Okay.” She said, before making conversation with Ada and Arthur. Her laugh filling the room as she joked around just like old times.

Meanwhile, Tommy looked out the window, the plans rolling around in his head amongst the scraping of the tunnels that plagued his mind every day. A mix of dread and happiness filling his bones. As much as he was happy to see y/n back, he couldn’t stand people being out to get her and his family. And he couldn’t bear losing her again, especially to those men. He hated that they forced her to do certain things and now that she was back home, he wasn’t going to let that happen again. He knocked back his shot, the liquid streaming down his throat attempting to numb the pain he felt as he processed what happened over the last 2 hours. Just 2 hours ago he was coming back from a meeting with Johnny Dogs. Just 2 hours ago he was out taking care of things around the shops. Just 2 hours ago his life was half empty. The only things in it at the time were his family and the sounds of shovels scraping through the tunnels, consuming his mind. But then as if a prayer was answered by some god he didn’t believe in, there she was at his doorstep. And he was determined this time to not repeat the past.

“You okay?” Y/n asked, walking over to him. Her red heels clicking along the wooden floors. He sighed and turned around to face her, his tired eyes meeting hers as he felt himself relax a bit at her presence.

“How about we get out of here?” Tommy asked, taking her hand in his.

“Are we going to your place?” She asked. He nodded and she smirked, seeing his lips turn up in a slight smile.

“Everyone be ready by noon tomorrow. I’m heading home.” He said, taking y/n’s hand and pulling her out with him. Everyone sat there for a moment and Polly smirked.

“Are they seeing each other again? After what he did?” Ada asked her.

“I’m sure of it. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder and I think that’s true for them. He never wanted her to go Ada. He told me after she left that he regretted it but I told him whats done is done. But you know him....he’s never been one to let things go.” She said taking a drag from her cigarette.

“Who would’ve known Tommy Shelby had a heart.” She said chuckling.

The rest of them laughed as they went about their business. All of them wary about what the next week would hold.

Meanwhile, back at Tommy’s estate, he gave Y/n a quick tour around, before leading her up to his bedroom.

Her eyes widening at the huge room and lavish king bed.

“Wow. You really went all out here aye?” She said smiling, running her hands along the cotton sheets. He caught her hand, and took it, turning her around so she was facing him. He smiled slightly as he brought his lips to hers. She kissed back, dragging both of them onto the plush mattress, feverish kisses being placed on her neck by the one she thought she’d never see again. They continued their escapades, their worries for tomorrow quickly slipping away as the daylight faded around them.

The next morning Y/n awoke to the sound of Tommy’s light snores, feeling his arms wrapped around her in a protective embrace. She wondered how long it had been since he’s slept decently, knowing all too well how his thoughts kept him up at night.

She let him sleep though, quietly getting up to wrap her bare body in one of Tommy’s robes as she made her way to the master bathroom. She went in and cleaned up, slowly coming to as the hot water dropped over her skin. When she got out she dug through her suit case to find a black dress and light sweater and decided that would work for the day’s activities. She quickly tensed though at the thought of conversing with Mr. Romboldi in an hours time.

As she put her last bit of makeup on, she heard Thomas get up and walk to towards the bathroom.

“Good morning love.” He said, kissing her cheek. She smiled and touched it, still in disbelief that she was here with him. She hated that’s she was bitter before, but now she’s grated to be there.

“Morning. How’d you sleep?” Y/n asked.

“Better. Better than I have in 2 years.” He said. She smiled and turned to hug his bare form. He had a genuine smile on his face as he placed a kiss on her forehead.

“Tommy Shelby, I never knew such a smile existed.” She said. He chuckled as he stepped away preparing the bath.

“Are you going to go call him?” He said glancing at the clock on the wall.

“Yes. I’ll go to the shop as soon as it’s done and report what I hear.” She said gathering her things.

“Alright. If you need help call me. I love you.” He said.

“Love you too.” She said before heading into his room and out into the luxurious hallway. She took a deep breath as she got in one of the cars and drove to the payphone in town. She put the coins in the slot, waiting for the operator to answer.

The phone crackled as she held the metal device up to her ear. “Hello how may I help you today?” The operator asked.

“Hi. I’d like to place a call to 5023. New York.” She said. Then waited for the dreaded rough voice of the man who took her in, yet whore’d her out to his enemies.

“I was expecting to hear from you dear. How is that shit hole treating ya?” He asked.

“Fine. Nothing beats New York, sir.” She said in her fake accent.

“Did you accomplish what I sent you there for?” He asked.

“Yes. He will pay the full price for our services. You are to meet him at the place you went last time. I think he called it Charlie’s yard?” She asked, acting like she didn’t know where it was.

“Yes, I’ll never forget that dump. Tell him we’ll be there Monday. I’m boarding the ship in an hour. We’ll meet them at noon. Good job miss Anderson.” He said.

“Alright, I’ll pass that along to him. Thank you Mr. Romboldi.” She said.

“You’ll be back here in no time, don’t worry. We can’t afford to loose our best shooter to a grimy razor gang, plus, I have some new men who’d love to meet you.” He said, an evil tone lacing his voice towards the end as he egged on the conversation.

“Goodbye. See you when I get back.” She said hanging up. Not waiting for a reply. She took a deep breath and shook the thought of giving herself to more random men out of her head and got back in the car, looking out at the busy streets as she neared the shop.

She immediately went in and said hi to Ada and Polly who smirked at her, knowing full well she stayed the night with Tommy.

“Where are you off to in such a hurry?” Polly asked.

“Just reporting to Tommy, is he here?” She asked glancing around.

“Not yet, but you can wait around here. I want all the details.” She said smirking.

Y/n smirked and sat down in a chair near Ada.

“Yes we fucked, what more do you want me to say?” She said taking a cigarette out of her pocket, Polly reaching out to light it.

Ada smirked “Well are you all dating or not? He hasn’t been with anyone since ya left for gods sake!” She said excitedly. Y/n’s eyes widened a bit in shock. Thomas Shelby not fucking around was something she’d never thought she’d hear.

“Well we definitely made up for lost time, but I don’t know if I’d call it dating. Hell, I just came back yesterday but I felt like I’ve never left. What do I make of that?” She asked.

“I think you should ask him. I’m sure he’s already said he loves ya. I can see it between you two.” Polly said. Y/n smiled remembering earlier at his house.

“Alright, I will.” Y/n said, watching the door, waiting for him to burst through.

Not 5 minutes later he did, walking straight into his office, his face expressionless as usual.

“Guess that’s my cue.” Y/n said sighing and reluctantly getting up.

“Good luck my dear.” Polly said before turning back to her work.

Y/n walked to the closed door before her and knocked three times, just as she did all those years ago.

“Come in.” Tommy said, his desk strewn with papers.

Tommy glanced up from his papers and motioned for her to shut the door. He quickly shuffled some of the papers away and sat up, his eyes on her as she took a seat in the leather chair.

“How did it go?” He asked taking a cigarette out of his metal case. Rubbing it on his lips before lighting it.

“Okay...I told him you’d accepted his offer and that you’d meet at Charlie’s yard on Monday at noon.” She said looking away from him.

He studied her movements, the way she fiddled with her hands, her eyes avoiding him, her brow furrowed with worry.

“What else did he say y/n?” He asked quietly.

She looked down as she spoke, tears threatening to fall.

“He said that I’d be back in no time. Meaning he probably wants me back any day now. He doesn’t know I’d be there with you all so I could just stay here as planned, but I don’t want them to find out I’m here. He said he had new men who’d love to meet me.” She said with a disgusted look on her face.

Tommy sighed and took a drag of his cigarette.

“I’m not letting them take you back, y/n. You don’t have to worry about that.” He said looking into her eyes.

“Well once his men find out I’m not back, he’s going to get word of it.” She said quickly wiping a stray tear from her face.

“If they do, we’ll just have to kill them then.” He said.

“What about the men back there? I’m not whoring myself out. I’m not doing that again. He’s a sick man.” She said as more tears fell. She hated doing things for her boss but it was a comply or be killed type of situation back then.

“You won’t have to do that anymore. You’re a blinder do you understand?” He said getting up and walking over to her. She got up and he pulled her into a hug, her cries muffling as she rested her head on his chest.

“I won’t let them hurt you. You’re safe here. Do you hear me? You won’t have to do that, I’m not ever sending you away again.” He said.

Once she calmed down, she looked up at him, his ocean eyes staring back at her.

“I love you...y/n I really do.” He said.

Y/n nodded and smiled. “I love you too.”

Later that night she got home late after joining the gang at the Garrison. Tommy was in the bathroom taking a shower while she was getting undressed and putting on a nightgown. She only had a finite amount of clothes, so luckily she was able to find the time to shop earlier during the day.

“I thought you’d be sleeping y/n.” He said as y/n sat up in bed reading one of Tommy’s books.

“I can’t, I have something on my mind.” She said, turning the pages.

“What is it?” He asked, getting in bed beside her. Kissing her shoulder as he watched her skim the book.

“Polly and Ada asked about us today. And Ada asked if we were together again...” she said, her heart racing as she spoke.

“Do you want to be together?” He asked. She took a moment to think, mad that she was so bitter before, but she decided to let those feelings go to make way for new ones. New beginnings perhaps.

“Yeah, I’d like to. Only if you promise to not boot me out again.” She said looking at him.

“Then we’re together then. And I’ve told you before love, I’m never making that mistake again.” He said kissing her shoulder before lying down. She smiled and closed the book, lying down and cuddling into his side for the night.

Over the next few days, they grew in their trust and in their relationship more. And when they weren’t dealing with the matters at hand, they decided to tell the family, which wasn’t much as they all expected it.

Y/n looked around the room at all of them, finally feeling okay with herself and with who was in her life, and by her side. But she couldn’t shake the nerves of her past, as she still had to deal with them when they got there.

Monday came around rather quickly though, much to everyone’s dismay. Her stomach lurched as she got a phone call at her new desk at the shop.

“Shelby Company Limited.” She said nicely.

“Tell y/n y/l/n we have a surprise for her. Courtesy of Mr. Romboldi.” He said and then hung up.

Her stomach lurched again, but in fear. She got up quickly, her face paling as she steadied herself at her desk, walking with shaking hands to Tommy’s office. It was an hour before noon. An hour before she had to get to her position.

She barged in frantically not caring that Tommy was in the middle of discussing the plans for today with Arthur and the boys.

“Hello y/n. What is it?” He said putting his cigarette out and sitting back in his chair with an annoyed look on his face.

“T-they know. Thomas they know my name. They know I’m here.” She said fear dancing wildly in her eyes.

Within seconds the boys grabbed their weapons and their caps and headed out the door to Charlie’s yard. Thomas on the other hand stayed behind.

“What happened y/n?” He asked gathering his things.

“I um, I got a call a few minutes ago. And he said tell y/n y/l/n we have a surprise for her. Courtesy of Mr. Romboldi.” She said her hands shaking.

Thomas paced around while checking the rounds in his gun. He pulled out a sniper rifle and loaded it as y/n stood there.

He quickly shoved the gun into y/n’s hands and stared at her.

“Y/n. Hey. Listen to me. I’m not letting him get you. I’m taking you to the rooftop overlooking Charlie’s yard ok? They won’t notice you. You’re going to go there and stay there unless we need you on the ground ok? Just take care of the men around us.” He said.

“Okay...” she said and followed him out to the car. He stepped on the gas, booking it there. It was easier for her to keep calm when she was hunting down other people, but it was terrifying knowing she’s become one of the hunted.

As they sped down the dirt covered streets they parked outside of an abandoned 3 story building. He quickly looked around and led her up to the roof to where she could see clearly. The wind nipping at her neck slightly as she adjusted her position and steadied her breathing. She could see John and Arthur standing guard below holding two suitcases and Michael, Finn, and Isiah on the opposite side waiting. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Tommy walk out into the middle of the area, checking his watch. As if on cue, a black dingy car pulled up as 5 men climbed out including Mr. Romboldi. They each had either a handgun or machine gun with them, along with a lone black suitcase.

She saw as Mr. Romboldi came near Tommy, sitting the briefcase on an old wooden table and opening it, revealing what looked to be a lot of money inside.

“I’m not here to take your money Mr. Romboldi, I’m here to give you your gin and your payment for your troubles.” He said as Arthur and John brought over the suitcases.

Mr. Romboldi smirked and lit a cigar. The smoke rising into the air.

“It’s not for you Mr. Shelby. It’s for y/n y/l/n.” He said.

“That name doesn’t sound familiar.” Tommy said, lighting a cigarette as he stared blankly.

“Are you sure? It sounds an awful lot like someone who we have workin’ for us by the same first name. You thought you could fool us y/n?” He said, loudly yelling the last part and looking around the rooftops.

Y/n quickly ducked down before he could look over towards the building she was perched on. Steadying her breathing as she waited.

Mr. Romboldi continued to ramble on.

“We know she’s here because she hasn’t came back to our headquarters, and my men are very fond of her. They’d know when a pretty girl like that goes missing.” He said. Still loud enough that she could hear.

Tommy blankly stared as he shook his head again, denying he knew her.

“Look, the only way we found out for sure was because one of them, a certain man she was seein’ mentioned her not visiting him. He was ya know...scheduled to see her one night this past week if you know what I mean...” He said chuckling.

“And he brought it up to my men and they contacted me while I was on that shitty boat. Now....I know we have a deal, and I’m accepting your payment this time, but I also have a deal of my own ya hear?” He said.

“I hear you. What’s the deal?” Tommy asked.

“You give me the money and the gin, and I pay you for y/n. She’s the best I’ve got in more ways than one despite her foolin’ us and I know she’s here. We researched into her little background and couldn’t find nothin’ on a fuckin’ Y/n Anderson.” He said taking another puff of his cigar.

“That’s unfortunate.” He said, growing tired of him talking. He motioned for Arthur and John to go as he sat up a bit.

“You ain’t leavin’ not with out giving me my girl.” He said. Her stomach turned over how he talked about her. Like she was some piece of meat ready for the wolves.

Tommy smirked and leaned in closer to him, one of Mr. Romboldis men pointing a gun at Tommy and walking near him until the barrel touched his temple.

He paid the gun little mind and continued.

“If she’s your girl...then why was she in my bed then aye?” He said, as he watched the older mans face grow red with anger.

“You bastard! I knew it. You can come on out y/n we have a ship to fuckin' catch.” He said yelling.

“I know for a fact that she wouldn’t want be with you. You’re just in a filthy razor gang!” He said. Tommy attempted to get up but not before the man clicked the gun a bit causing him to stop.

John and Arthur raised theirs as the other men stood guarding their boss, not getting a chance to reach for their guns. Arthur started beating one of them while John threw some punches and disarmed the other.

Y/n slowly raised her head up a little, just enough that she could get a clear shot.

Mr. Romboldi got up and took all the suitcases and walked to the car as Tommy tried to grab the mans arm to disarm him. He shot the gun, the bullet flying through the air at a random spot, hitting a building nearby.

Y/n aimed for the guys who were getting too rough with John and Arthur and quickly shot two bullets, each of them striking them in the head.

It gradually got more quiet as two of the 5 were dead. But Tommy still struggled with the man who held him at gunpoint taking a slew of punches to the face and chest. Michael, Finn, and Isiah fought the other two, giving her just enough time to find an opening to kill one of the men. She shot striking the man going after Finn, hitting him in the chest. The other guy soon ran over to Tommy, attempting to help the other man attack him. Tommy pinned one down laying punches on his face as blood sprayed up onto his dress shirt.

Y/n didn’t hesitate though, instead she shot the man who was about to attack him from behind.

As she took a moment to get her bearings, she saw Mr. Romboldi grab a machine gun out of his car, aiming right for Tommy who was slowly getting up after beating the guy to death. He unfortunately didn’t notice her boss aiming at him.

Before Tommy could pull out his own gun, he saw a shot hit the guys head. The once ruthless, balding, red-faced mafia leader from New York lying lifeless on the cold pavement as he bled out.

Tommy looked up and saw y/n. The smoke from the rifle still floating off the gun and into the air. He had never been so happy to be staring at the barrel of a gun, or more so the person behind it.

Without thinking, y/n got up and ran down the stairs and into the open area and ran straight to Tommy, not caring about the blood and dirt caking her shoes as she did so. He welcomed her with a warm embrace, as she looked up and examined his face, he was bleeding from his temple and his lip, but other than that he seemed fine. Despite his injured lip, she kissed him for a moment before he stopped her and looked down at her.

“Thank you, y/n.” He said.

She just nodded and embraced him again. Happy that she had the man that she loved back in her arms, and a job she loved to go to everyday. As crazy as it was, she wouldn’t trade this life for the world, no matter the cost.

[disappearinginq]

If you're still doing these: Top 5 fictional characters? Top 5 books?

I like avoiding chores, so yes - definitely still answering asks: 

Top 5 Fictional Characters: 

1. Sherlock Holmes - I will admit, the more recent versions of this character with Benedict Cumberbatch and Robert Downey Jr. are probably my favorite versions of Holmes, but I will read or watch pretty much anything about this man. I have even Young Sherlock and Moriarty sitting on my shelves, and even House of Silk (when I get the time). I just...I like characters that are the smartest in the room, and while I appreciate the surprise of a humble smart character, I am much closer to Sherlock and his “you can’t really be this dumb...oh. Shit. You are.”

2. Robin Hood - again, I will read or watch pretty much anything about this character, though I will always love Kevin Costner’s Prince of Thieves - and I actually did like Taron Edgerton’s portrayal in the most recent one, even though both versions were absolutely panned by critics. Probably because I wholeheartedly subscribe to taxation is theft, but also because I like any character who rips off people who have it coming to them. 

3. Merlin - I should say the mythology of King Arthur and Knights of the Round Table and anyone associated with it. But anyone who knows me likes a bit of subtle magic and either snarky secret wizards or cantankerous old wizards, and to this day, Sword in the Stone is my favorite iteration of this storyline. 

4. Tony Stark - Probably for the same reason I like Sherlock Holmes, I like Tony Stark, especially in the MCU. It’s one of the few times that someone is shown with a relatively not pretty version of CPTSD, and how it can alter your brain chemistry to the point of making wildly poor decisions because in your mind, it seems perfectly rational. (Do I like how Steve and everyone else just compacts the problem by complaining that Tony tries to control everything but also that everything is Tony’s fault? No - but that, in a way, is also accurate). Tony is also one of the few characters that witnesses fallout to his decisions, and learns from them. Again, not always the right lesson, but his character does learn. 

5. Aliena of Shiring from Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett - I will admit, I added her after wondering why I had no women fictional characters, but I realized most of it has to do with the terrible way that women characters are written. Aliena manages to be what I would call unconquerable. The amount of crap that woman puts up with for 1000 pages and still manages to not break, keep strong, think and out maneuver life is truly awe inspiring. I love her character so much.  

Top 5 Books. 

Hmm. Well, we already said I would read anything about Sherlock, Robin and Merlin, so...let’s branch out. 

1. Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett. Follett primarily wrote spy and action novels, so this historical epic about cathedral building in a small town in England in the 12th century. It has epic everything. The characters are fantastic - True Good and True Evil, there’s a nun who places a curse on the bad guys and becomes a witch who lives in the woods. It has everything that is good about the church and everything that is bad about the church. It deals with the every day peoples’ dealings with the constant change between rulers (Empress Matilda and Stephen of Blois were going at it in a civil war after the death of Henry’s only legit son). It has a literally epic love story between Jack and Aliena, to whom every love story will forever pale in comparison, and Aliena legit walked across all of Christendom to find her True Love. Movie counterparts are Eddie Redmayne and Hayley Atwell. Everyone who is good gets a Happy Ending. Everyone who is evil gets their goddamn comeuppance in the most horrible of ways and they fucking deserve that shit.  

2. Okay, so on the heels of “the most epic story of all time”, I present to you a “It’s not the greatest but I love it anyway” - Rise of Renegade X, by Chelsea Campbell, which is in fact a series, and I love the second and third installment the most, but it’s about a made up city where there are superheroes and supervillains and that’s just how life goes. Heroes are marked with an H on their thumb when they turn 16, villains with a V (it’s a plot point to explain why, but it’s a genetic thing, like a finger print), and on the main character’s 16th birthday, he expects a V and instead gets an X. He eventually tracks down his super hero dad who didn’t know that he existed, and convinces the kid to come live with his family - where he has three other children, and a wife who was permanently crippled by a supervillain. As it goes along, the series deals more and more with prejudice, racism, classism, Good versus Evil compared to Right versus Wrong, and the MC, Damien is the first person narrative, so you get all of his snarky sarcasm first hand. 

3. Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo. 100% because of the world building, the fact that it is a fantasy version of Ocean’s Eleven, but also because I truly and deeply adore Kaz Brekker. One of the few characters with no particular power, he’s perfectly human, and absolutely terrifying. And while he has a character arc that I adore, it does not fundamentally hinge on him changing who he is. At the end, Kaz is still a fucking cold hearted, brilliant and scheming bastard, but the audience has an insight to him that maybe Kaz doesn’t even have himself. His issues don’t magically go away. He doesn’t have a Scrooge moment. He has his own set of principles and he stays by them, and what is so lovely is that the love interest accepts that. 

4. Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater. Murder horses based on Irish/Scottish Mythology, and a horse race with said murder ponies. Need I say more?  

5. Book of Lost Things by John Connolly. This is going to sound weird as a recommendation, but this book is the book of fucking nightmares. I read it for a class on Ireland because we had to pick either a story about Ireland, takes place in Ireland, or was written by an Irish person. I read this in I think an afternoon and I didn’t sleep that night. Despite the main character being like 11 years old, I would never let a kid read it. It’s a dark, true-to-Grimms’-source fairy tale that is like the twisted version of the Chronicles of Narnia, and a psychological trip and a half. I loved it. It is a true fairy tale - the kid, David, mom dies in the first chapter, and David feels like he failed her because he’d developed this SEVERE OCD ritual that he believed would keep his mother alive (it obviously doesn’t), and his dad, months later, remarries and has a second child, whom David hates. The baby cries all the time, the young mother is preoccupied with a baby and no husband (he’s off fighting in WWII), and David is left to occupy himself most of the time. They move out of London because of the Blitz, to David’s mother’s family estate. It’s old, and creepy, and the garden seems like something is calling to him, that sets a dread in the pit of his stomach when he goes near it. Enter the Crooked Man, a man who offers to give David everything he wants if David tells him his brother’s name. David refuses, and that night, a German plane crashes in the garden, and it turns out, that’s the portal/wardrobe to another world, and David gets dragged into it. And it just goes from there. 

Thanks for the asks! They’re always fun! 

[sweets-fanfics]

Homecoming 21

Title: Charlotte

Word count: 2193

Warnings: micah

Tags: @rollyjogerjones

AN: heyyyyy remember you can read this on AO3. Also feel free to comment, like, say you wanna be tagged or just message me because you are stuck in quarantine with nothin better to do.

ao3

____________

When you finally got to the waterfall, Bea was awake and had moved from your back to sitting in front of you on Suzie. She glanced around and pointed out every animal she could see and would make you say the name out loud so she can repeat in a form of English you couldn’t understand.

You stopped at the falls and got off of Suzie with Bea in your arms. “Okay, we do not play in this water. It’s too strong for little girls.”

Bea pouts and goes to look at flowers instead while you brush Suzie and feed her a treat. It was a beautifully sunny day. A few clouds but not too many. The mist from the fall was relaxing while you watched Bea chase butterflies. 

“Momma,” Bea called to you later in the day. You glance up from the flowers she had handed you and see her pointing at something.

Confused, you get up and walk over to her, “What is it, baby?” You follow her finger and see a woman on her knees crying over a grave. “Oh…” 

The woman has dark hair messily put up. Her clothes and face are covered in dirt and she looks as if she hasn’t eaten in a while. She looks so sad that you can’t help but approach her. Bea follows but holds onto your pants leg as you walk forwards slowly.

“Miss?” She jumps and moves away from you. “I’m sorry.” You put your hands up to show you mean no harm. “I just wanted to see if you were okay. My little girl was worried.” You kind of motion to Bea who’s peeking at the sad lady.

“I’m sorry. I… Are you going to rob me?” She asks. “I may look weak but I can defend myself.”

“I’m sure you can miss, I’m Y/N Morgan. This is my daughter Beatrice.”

“I’m...  Charlotte Balfour…”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Balfour. Do you need help?” 

“No… my husband died last week and left me alone in the wild is all.” You sigh and run a hand through your hair. 

“Have you eaten?” 

Charlotte sighs, “No…” 

You glance at Bea who is looking at the woman still. “Let me teach you how to hunt at least.” Charlotte looks at you, shocked. “I won’t rob ya. I just want to set a good example.” 

Before she can respond you whistle for Suzie who trots up happily. You pull out your pistol and put a few bullets in. “Okay. Let’s go find some meat.”

You creep forward until you spot a rabbit. You glance at Bea and motion for her to cover her ears. As soon as she does you aim at the rabbit and fire. Charlotte squeaks as you walk up and pick up the rabbit. 

“See? Now you gotta skin it.”

Charlotte looks at you dumbfounded as you pass her the rabbit. “What? How?”

“Just hold the legs and pull the tail. Fast and Hard.” 

Charlotte gives you a weary look but does as you say and after a second the skin rips away leaving her with a huge smile. 

“Great job!” You cheer as Bea jumps around. “That should keep ya fed for a while.” 

“I can’t believe I actually did it!” She jumped a bit. “Thank you so much, Miss Morgan.” 

“There you two are.” Arthur’s voice surprises you when he speaks up behind you. 

“Daddy!” Bea yells and runs for him. A huge grin grows as he sweeps her up and kisses her cheeks.

“Oh, Mrs. Morgan I guess I meant.”

“Charlotte this is my husband Arthur, Arthur this is Charlotte Balfour.”

“Pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”

“Oh no, the pleasure is all mine. Mrs. Morgan just helped me catch my first meal in a week. Won’t you let me make you some food?”

“No no, you save that for yourself.” You insist as you walk with her back to her home. “We probably need to head home anyway.”

“Well, very well then. But you will come to visit again?” She asks excitedly. You nod unable to say no to her. “And please bring Beatrice or Mr. Morgan as well, it’s wonderful having a family around.” 

You glance over your shoulder at Arthur who’s swinging around Bea making her life, “Yes… It is, isn’t.”

_____________

With the promise of coming back, you were finally able to leave Charlotte’s home. You walk up to your two loves and smile at them. 

“I didn’t think I’d see you here today.” Arthur leans in and kisses you before you both start back for Suzie.

“Well, I just met the chief and his son today. I had some time before I go meet the son for stealin’ them papers, thought I’d see if you two were still out here.” He smiles at you innocently.

“Aww… aren’t you the sweetest. It has nothin’ to do with you thinkin’ you need to protect us while we ride through the forest.”

Arthur’s smile turns into a guilty one. “Maybe a bit. But I also wanted to see my two favorite people.” He kisses the side of your head.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here.” He looks at you as you take a deep breath, “Micah showed up after you and Bea rode off yesterday.”

“Did he hurt you?” He asks getting angry.

“No, but he and Agent Milton basically cornered me telling me Dutch told Micah that I outed him. Micah said that my father is obviously too dumb to think I’m telling the truth.” You roll your eyes. 

“Wait, Milton was there…” Arthur was fuming. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Because when I got back Molly was killed in front of us.”

“What did they say to you?” He asks in a calmer voice.

You look at Bea sadly, “They said if we try to disappear, Bea would get hurt.” 

You witnessed a new emotion from Arthur you hadn’t seen before. It was beyond rage. 

“You ain’t goin’ back there.” He huffed.

“I have to. He’ll know somethin’ is up.”

“Yeah, somethin’ is up because I’m heading to camp to shoot him.”

“The camp is probably being watched.” Arthur stops and looks at you before turning and kicking the dirt in frustration. “I almost shot Milton myself when he threatened her…”

“If somethin’ happens I need you to keep your hands as clean as we can keep them.” Arthur hugs you tightly. “Alright, I’ll ride with you two to camp before heading out to help with Rains Fall.”

He holds Bea steady as you climb up and get ready to go. “Arthur, I love you.”

He smiles and pats your leg, “You know I love you too.”

______________

It was hard for you to hide your annoyance when you got back to camp and saw Micah’s horse with the others. You grab Bea’s hand and head straight for your tent not wanting to speak with pretty much anyone. 

Arthur was following but spots John and Charles, “Imma speak to John for a moment. I’ll be back.”

“Sure.” You smile. Bea goes straight to the rabbit from Luca and begins to play with it.

“Mrs. Morgan,” Micah’s voice could kill the mood of the happiest person on earth. 

“What is it, Mr. Bell?” You don’t look up from Bea.

“What were you and the little Morgan up to today?” He hums in an obviously fake cheerful tone.

“That doesn’t quite concern you does it?”

“Well.. while you were off not being helpful Dutch and I found a tip on Cornwall.”

You finally look at him, “And?”

“And? What do you mean by that?” He’s leaning against Arthur’s shaving stuff looking very smug, “I was goin’ to suggest you ride with your father and me to check out the situation.”

“This seems like a setup.”

“I wouldn’t set you up-”

“I meant Cornwall, but now I don’t trust you even more.” You cut him off and watch his smug face turn to annoyance. “He’s just going to openly be somewhere knowing he’s pissed off a gang such as Dutch’s? Come on, even you must be smart enough.”

“There a problem, Micah?” Arthur asks standing between you and him.

“I was letting your girl here know about the next job.”

“Job? Right now?” 

“Yup, I found out Cornwall is going to be in Annesburg, and Dutch thinks Princess here should go with us.”

“Why Y/N, though?” 

You roll your eyes, “I’ll meet you and Dutch there.” You stand and push Micah out of the tent before closing it. 

“Why?” Arthur asks.

“Because I’d rather keep an eye on him. And I haven’t done anything more than hunting since I had Bea so I’m a bit bored.”

Arthur sighs, “You don’t just go and kill oil tycoons ‘cause your bored, Y/N.” He sounds more worried and frustrated.

“I doubt will kill anyone. Knowing Dutch he’s gonna try to just talk his way out of it. I don’t want him to think I’m doubting him until I want him to know.” Arthur sits on the bed and pulls you on his lap. 

“I just want you to be safe.”

“I haven’t been shot at or kidnapped in almost three years. I got this.” You tease as he kisses your cheek. You wrap your arms around his neck and hug him tightly.

“You’re right. You haven’t so it’s probably long overdue.” You pull back and smack his arm as he chuckles.

“Don’t you gotta go somewhere?” You ask.

“Shit, I do.” He pulls you in for a long kiss before you get off so he can get up. He gets on the ground next to Bea and looks at her, “Little Bea, I gotta go to work. Will you watch momma?”

She nods, “Be good, daddy.” 

He chuckles as he kisses her head and gets up. “I’ll do my best.” He kisses one last time and even dips you making Bea giggle. “You two be good.”

“We’ll try.”

_____________

“I swear, those dogs better come back before Jack loses his mind,” Abigail says as she hands you coffee.

“They still aren’t back?” You glance around for any sign of Bear.

“I thought I heard one of them earlier, but I’m not sure now.”

“I may be as worried as Jack soon.” Bea trots up and puts a bug in your hand. You give her the best smile you can before dropping the bug as soon as she turns around.

“I heard you are goin’ on a job with Micah and Dutch soon.”

“I do not know why either if that’s what you are about to ask.” You sip your coffee.

“John said he talked to Arthur.” The two of you look at each other. “Said you were lookin’ at land…” 

You reach into the pocket of your pants and pull out the folded paper about Beecher’s hope. “I think this one is perfect for your family.”

She takes it and reads it. You see her eyes start to shine. “Y/N, This is perfect!”

“What is?” Micah’s voice rips you both away from your conversation.

“Nothing,” Abigail says quickly, hiding the paper.

“Oh, come on now, can’t hide stuff from family.”

“We ain’t family, Micah.” You snip at him. “Go away.”

“Why can’t you be more agreeable like your brother?” He spits on the ground before walking away without a care in the world. He stops next to Dutch and says something to him making your father glance at you from his book.

“Ugh.” Abigail groans. “Disgusting man.” She put the paper in the dress of her skirt. “I’ll look at this when I’m more alone.”

You look up at the sky. The sun is going down and the sky looks as if you weren’t  in front of a cannibals cave. “I hope Arthur will be back soon.” 

“Arthur is a strong man. He’ll be okay.”

_____________

It was well into the night when you felt a weight on the cot as you slept. You quickly sat up only to have Arthur smile and calm you down. “Sorry, sorry. I’m back late.”

“You smell like your burning…” You rub your eyes before rubbing some soot from his face. 

“Yeah, Eagle Flies set the damn oil place on fire as a distraction.”

“Holy shit…” You mumbled.

“Let’s just sleep. I think I need it.” He lays down pulling you next to him. He put his arm around you and holds you tight against him. 

“Arthur…” You whisper and look at him. His eyes are shut but you know there is no way he’s already asleep.

“Yes, my love.” He mumbles.

“Micah is up to somethin’.”

“It seems he’s always up to somethin’ after this job just don’t go near him.”

“I think he and my father have been talking about me.” 

Arthur just hums in response and pulls you closer to him. “My love, we can gossip about Micah all day tomorrow if you want. But we should really sleep.”

You sigh as he kisses your forehead. “Fine… Goodnight, Arthur.”

“Goodnight, I love you.”

You smile to yourself as you close your eyes. “I love you too.”

[rheyninwrites]

Old Friends Part 3

f!OC Modern AU

I He was only nineteen when they met, still a kid, same as the rest of us. Once he laid his eyes on her, his big dumb heart was just taken away. He swore that she was The One for him, no doubts in his mind at all. He followed her around like a puppy dog, and she loved every damn minute of it.

Charles, who was his best friend besides me, tried to talk sense into him. We all knew she’d be bad news for him. If it wasn’t her, it would be because of her father. The man was probably the wealthiest person any of us had ever seen, or even heard of at the time, and all of his efforts were being put into finding a “suitable” husband for his precious daughter. You practically needed a six figure salary to even be considered, so it was highly unlikely that an ex con who performed manual labor for a living would make the cut.

“You realize she’s rich, right?” Charles said one night as we hung out in the townhouse we all shared. “Like, more money than all of us will ever see in our whole lives put together rich?”

But he just waved the advice away and dove headfirst into love. And boy oh boy was it love, or maybe obsession would be a better way to describe it. He was practically glued to her side. Almost stopped hanging out with us completely. He ate, slept, and breathed her name, her face, her figure. All she had to do was walk in the room and he went all gooey, all heart eyes and floating across the floor after her.

Of course, I found it utterly disgusting, but at that point I had realized I had major feelings for him, so I knew some of my distaste for it came from jealousy. She was everything I wasn’t. Tall and thin to my average height curves, rich to my poor, graceful to my clumsy. Some of us can’t afford facials and finishing school. So different than me, so much more refined. And he wanted her , craved her, so I knew I didn’t stand a chance.

God, the dance went on for years. “Daddy” wouldn’t have approved, so of course it was all kept very secret, while in daylight she paraded with the suitors her father sent her way. Arthur would meet her at night, often springing for a fancy restaurant he couldn’t really afford, and she’d have him out with her all night. Then he’d race his way to whatever job he was working, apologize for being late, and drag his way through the day on whatever little sleep she’d let him have.

I know I’m making her sound like a bitch, my recollection colored by bitterness. It’s hard to let some hurts from the past go. Not only did she have the man I wanted, but she had the easy life that comes to the rich and beautiful. I think she probably did really care about him, just not enough to do what really mattered.

That became clear one afternoon, just as I was graduating college. Most of the rest had either never started college to begin with, or had dropped out in favor of a job offer. Tilly was starting work at the flower shop she’d own in a few years, Bill had gotten Charles in at the factory he was working at, while Javier, Sean, and John were starting at a construction company. Karen had convinced Abigail, newly in love with John, that they should start a business together, which, unfortunately didn’t go so well. Mary-Beth had just moved in with us, one year into her English degree, and Lenny wouldn’t be showing up until the Fall, a genius seventeen year old hell-bent on being the first in his family with an MD. Sadie didn’t join us until years later, having met Charles at work.

Tilly, Charles, and I were sitting at the kitchen counter, having a quiet conversation, when suddenly Arthur burst through the door, a grin nearly splitting his face in two. The three of us looked at each other in confusion as Arthur stomped to the fridge and grabbed a beer, guzzling half of it down at once.

“This is it, I ain’t never gonna have to worry about another thing in my life. Not in my damn life!”

“You gone tell us what all this stomping and shouting is about, Arthur Morgan, or you gone just leave us here wondering?”

“Ah, shit, Tilly. I’m just so damned excited! You ain’t gonna believe this. You remember that position I applied to? The one at the summer camp up in New York?”

Of course we all remembered. It had been the only thing he’d talked about for weeks, hemming and hawing about whether or not he should apply. It was training and handling horses used in equine therapy, something he’d wanted to do for years. Unfortunately the application had said that anyone with a criminal background shouldn’t apply. Thanks to his fuck-up of a father, he a few pick-pocketing charges, and one or two shoplifting incidents. Luckily, instead of being a victim lost in the often cruel justice system, he ended up with a great counselor who got him help and got him sent to a rehabilitation facility, where they used horses as part of the therapy. When he came out, he was a different person, and he said he wanted to be able to give that to others. Unfortunately, between needing a steady income and having poor grades, he hadn’t gotten into any of the training programs he’d applied to, and he’d all but given up hope.

When he told us about it the camp opportunity, we all encouraged him to apply anyway. Since the charges had been so long ago, and he’d been through the rehabilitation program, we thought maybe it wouldn’t matter as much. Mary-Beth helped him to write a cover letter to include with his application, explaining not only why the charges were there, but how they lead to him finding that passion and how it changed his life. Maybe it wouldn’t matter, maybe they’d throw out his application, but if he never applied, he’d be certain he never got the job.

“I got it! I got the damn job! They said that, while they normally ain’t keen on hiring people with a criminal record, I was clearly a fine example of ‘the transformative power of the horse’. “

Grin still splitting his face, he stood there, arms out and nearly crying from happiness as we all gathered around him to hug and congratulate him.

“And that ain’t the only thing. My story touched them so much, they’re thinking they might want to use it in their new advertising campaign.”

He plopped into the chair while we all screamed and shouted our excitement, filling in Karen, Sean, and Javier as they tromped downstairs to the kitchen to see what the noise was. Karen was the first to form a coherent sentence.

“Hot damn, Arthur, that’s the best damn thing I heard in a long damn time! Sounds like we might have to get ourselves out tonight to celebrate!”

“Aw, thank you Karen, but I’m afraid I’m gonna have to pass on that tonight, as I already got other plans.”

“Shit, Arthur, what plans could you have that are more important than celebrating your success with your best friends?”

Arthur looked down sheepishly, the first blush I’d seen on him in ages starting to creep up his cheeks. I got a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach as he reached into the pocket of his jeans and brought out a tiny velvet box, which he sat on the table slowly. I glanced over at Tilly, whose eyes widened ever so slightly in an “oh shit” face. Charles was already backing away, ever so slightly shaking his head.

“I, well, I’m gonna see Mary tonight. And I’m gonna ask her to marry me.”

My heart fluttered its way to my mouth before finally deciding to drop down into the pits of the fiery depths below . This was definitely not good. Not just because I loved him romantically, but because I loved him as a friend, and I knew that there was precisely a snowball’s chance in hell that she was going to say yes. But as his friend, I also knew it wasn’t my place to say that, and that my job was to support him, so I was the first one to speak.

“That’s great, Arthur. I hope you guys have a really great future together. My best to you.”

And because I knew I couldn’t stand there anymore without shedding tears, I excused myself to the bedroom Tilly and I shared. Flopping onto my bed, I laid there, facing the ceiling and thinking about all of the things Arthur and I had done together, all of the moments we had shared. I let all of the feelings I had for him wash over me, and let them flow from my eyes.

Why can’t he love me the way he loves her?

It had been a constant refrain in my head for the last several years. Every time I heard of some new thing they’d done together, every time I’d overheard him gushing to someone about how amazing and how incredible she was.

Why can’t he love me the way he loves her?

After a few minutes, I heard a gentle knock on the door, and Tilly’s voice asking if she could come in. I guess I mumbled something in the affirmative, or she knew she should come in anyway, because the next thing I knew, she was lying in bed beside me, wrapping her arms around me as I cried. She’d known for a long time that I cared about him as more than just a friend, and she knew how much this was hurting me.

“You know it’s gonna be a disaster. He’ll propose, she’ll bat those long eyelashes at him, clap her hands together and say ‘oh, Arthur’- you know how she does- and then she’s gonna turn him down flat. Either that, or she’s gonna say ‘yes’, make him feel like a big man, and then blame her daddy when she has to break it off!”

Tilly sat up and did her best comedic impression of Mary’s clasped hand gesture, which did get me to laugh. But laughing turned back into tears soon enough. I pushed myself up to lean my back against the wall and looked at Tilly.

“I don’t hate her, you know. I really don’t. But she knows damn well that she’s not going to spend her life with Arthur, that it’s not even an option for her, but she still keeps seeing him. And she knows it’s gonna lead to him getting hurt, but she still won’t let him go. It’s so damn wrong.”

“ I know honey. In a lot of ways Mary’s a fine girl, but she’s selfish, and there ain’t no getting around that. Rich girls nearly always are- I don’t think they can even help it. I guess, you grow up getting everything you want, you don’t really learn that sometimes getting what you want ain’t the best for others.”

Turns out, we were right. Mary said no. We didn’t see Arthur for two days, and when he finally showed, he was a broken man. All the life seemed to have gone out of him, all the pride. His shoulders slumped, he trudged to his bedroom and shut the door. He only ate because Charles practically force fed him. I think he would have happily starved himself to death over her.

And he never did get to that position in New York

[bxtch26]

Your backstory❤️Arthur Morgan ⚠️mentions of smut⚠️

“Thank you kindly Mrs. Morgan, this will go right to tonight’s stew!” Pearson beamed as you brought in some game you hunted. You tipped your hat and returned the smile. Keeping the smile as you walked away, shaking your head and chucking. Mrs. Morgan. Who would have ever thought that’d be you? Arthur Morgan is your husband. Has been for 5 years. Though you’ve been sweet on one another for all of 10 years. You both grew up in the Van Der Linde gang. Him 15 and you 13. You both came to share Dutch's vision of a life lived free from civilization and the rule of law, becoming one of the first members of the gang. You learned to ride a horse, shoot a gun, throw a lasso, fish, hunt, track, drink, smoke, curse- you name it- together. At first you were both very angsty young fools who hated the world. But Dutch was the first person to show you both compassion. He’s always been a father figure to you two, John as well. Johns always been like your brother, you love him so. You and Arthur had been making goo goo eyes at each other for months before either of you made a move. You had no idea what you were doin, neither did he. You just couldn’t get each other off your mind. He was such a tough burly man but also so kind on the inside, a side most don’t see. It was one night Hosea gave you a tip about a robbery. Small homestead, easy pickings. You immediately asked Arthur to come with you, like you always did. That was the first night you slept together. The man who owned the home had his hands on you before you could retaliate and Arthur’s trigger finger was hot. You had killed people before, it was just still a strange thing. You both rummaged through the house making small talk here and there. When you got to the upstairs bedroom there was a huge bed and fireplace. It was amazing, way better than anything at camp. It was getting late anyway so you decided to stay there, after making sure the coast was clear of course. One thing led to another and you both finally shared your feelings while sitting in front of that fire. Oh you were such love struck fools. Your first kiss was sloppy, you didn’t know what to do. Let alone in bed. But after guidance and laughing your asses off it started to feel good, for both of you. Dutch had already had “the talk” with Arthur, Mrs. Grimshaw same with you. So Arthur knew to make sure you didn’t go do a silly thing like get you pregnant. Not yet anyway... It was a bit awkward after that. You didn’t know really what to do with yourselves. But it was obvious. Both of your faces turned bright red around each other. You both grew more comfortable with public displays of affection. He would leave you a few small flowers or some game or cup of coffee by your cot every morning. He would give you drawings of your horse or just you. Sometimes you would just sit back to back while you both drew and wrote in your journals while enjoying one another’s company. You would always go on missions together. Sing in front of the fire. He always came to you first if he was hurt. Needed stitches or a bandage. Soon you moved into his tent, on his account. Sometimes you would spend the night in his, and vice versa. But soon enough Arthur wanted you to know he was taking things and you seriously. It didn’t ruin things like everyone says in the films and books. You just grew closer. Having someone to hold at night. Someone near and dear to you. Ain’t nothin much better than that. You still remember when Arthur proposed to you. My god he was a nervous fool sweating bullets. He took you out on a small boat, to a beautiful patch of flowers and trees you’d never seen before. Right after he got on one knee and asked he apologized if it sounded “dumb.” You just shook your head at him

“Shut up and kiss me you silly man.” You guys got married a week later, right in camp. Reverend Swanson officiated it, John was the best man, Abigail your maid of honor. Jack threw the flowers down the “aisle” which was really just a dirt path. Javier strummed his guitar and sang as you two danced away. That was almost 6 years ago now. You have never been happier. You haven’t lost any feelings for him like they say happens in long relationships. If anything you grew closer and grew to love him more. And even after being together for so long Arthur was still a flushed mess around you like a school boy with a crush. It’s hard to find something like that in the life you two led. But you knew what he was , and you understood. He knew what you were, and understood. You’ve never had to go through anything alone since you joined this gang. Boy if your momma could see you now. Married to a gunslinger. Who could have guessed it. Still the best thing to ever happen to you. Some people still deny it, especially Micah.

“Why are u wasting time on that old man?” You would just continue you chores and ignore him. In town when you went to the saloon to get a drink people would look at you funny. But you never cared. Nor did he. It was you and him, the rest of the world didn’t matter. At this point you two were so comfortable with each other. He would grab your ass when you bend over to clean off the camp tables. You would lick your lips and watch him chop that fire wood with those few top buttons undone. He would shake his shoulders revealing more and roll them when he could feel you staring. You teased each other all the time like that, like you were still kids. When he came back to camp from long stressful missions you would dress up in your skimpiest laces you saved up to buy from Valentine just for him. His eyes would grow wide and he would drop everything. You would offer a massage while he told you about his day. You had both learned quick that making love at camp required strength to be quiet. Something you always found difficult with him. You could see his struggle too. You would have quickies at camp, it’s no surprise they would hear and know. If you could spare the teasing then it was worth it. But most of the time you would go out together. Whether it be a hunting trip or to a hotel you would just go out periodically to get some time alone. You had found an abandoned cabin years back, and it was often your meet up spot. But you didn’t always have sex. Just holding him in front of the fireplace and playing with his hair and singing to him was all you could ask for. On days where Arthur was particularly stressed he would take you to Saint Denis. He would buy you a nice dress, and get himself a nice suit. He would style his hair, you preferred him to keep it long. Made him even more handsome, and it was nice to grab on to. You loved nothing more than going to a nice dinner with him. He would never act like something he wasn’t, just wanted to treat you. He took care of you, and vice versa. “To death will we part.” You couldn’t imagine sharing a life with anyone else. You smiled remembering all the fine times you had with your man as you found him sitting in front of the fire. He saw you and grinned, immediately holding his hands out to welcome you to his lap. You sat, legs draped over his. He nuzzled into your neck, breathing in your scent.

“Hi sweetheart.” You melted into him, grabbing his hands on your waist and intertwining your fingers.

“Hey you.” You replied as he leaned back, allowing you more room to nuzzle into his chest. You turned around to plant a sweet kiss on his lips that earned a collective aw from the camp. Except one. Micah came out of no where, scoffing at you two.

“You’ve grown soft Morgan!” Arthur’s grip on you tightened but his face was relaxed.

“My lady ain’t made no complaints of me getting soft yet!” You blushed, smacking his shoulder and laughing into his neck. The others around the fire laughed too at Micah’s failed attempt to ridicule you two. You were both so nervous of how the camp would accept you relationship, but it’s become the norm now. Mr. and Mrs. Morgan. Arthur continued to rock you to Javier’s playing and singing. He hummed along to the music into your hair. He knows you love when he does that. You reached back to place his hat on your head so you could play with his hair. You know he loves it when you do that. Dutch spoke up, asking Molly to dance. Arthur tapped your thigh, signaling that he wanted you to get up. When you did he grabbed your hand and walked you to the front of Dutchs tent, next to him and Molly. You both started to dance slowly. Swaying to the music coming from the rest of the camp. He held you close, both hands in your waist, your hands locked around his neck. He preformed a few flares, twirling you and dipping you causing you to giggle into his neck. Dutch whispered sweet nothings to Molly next to you two as she giggled into his neck as well. It was a strange thing, in a camp of outlaws to see couples dancing sweetly with nothing but love for one another. You may be bad people, but you can feel love. You can make connections with people, you can have love. Gunslinging is nothing like you read in the papers. You brought your head to rest on Arthur’s shoulder, him the same as you guys hugged each other closer. When the music ended, Arthur bowed and you curtsied. The night went on with singing and drunken fun around the fire. Soon Arthur joined a game of poker with John and Uncle. You were in his lap, legs draped over his thighs, one hand on his cards the other around your waist. He said you were his “ lucky charm.” You sighed happily, resting your head back and in the crook of his neck. You must have fallen asleep you were so tired because the rumble of his chest from laughter woke you up. He reached forward to pull the money pile to him, grabbing your waist tight to keep you there. You blinked at him, his eyes on his new cards when he finally turned his gaze to you and gave you a sweet smile.

“Didn’t mean to wake you darlin’. Get some rest.” You nodded sleepily, resting on his chest as he continued to play. Uncle teased Arthur, saying

“You sure you ain’t gonna quit out? Seems you got your hands full” Arthur just scoffed at him

“They way your playing I could play blindfolded and still win.” You smiled into his chest before falling back asleep. You woke up suddenly when he scooped you into his arms before you could say anything. You gasped and giggled, holding onto his shoulders. He carried you bridal style to the tent you shared, you laughing all the way. He set you down on the cot and cupped your face with both hands. He drew you in for a soft kiss, your small soft hands over his big rough hands on your face. When he pulled away, he caresses your cheek before straightening his back and beginning to take off his boots and belt.

“We should get some sleep darlin’. Got a surprise for ya tomorrow.” You started to do the same, discarding your boots and belt.

“Oh? That wouldn’t have anything to do with tomorrow being our 6th year bein’ married, would it?” He smiled as he crawled into bed, arms open for you. You crawled on top of him, entangling your legs and nuzzling into his chest. His scent finding you as he wrapped his big strong arms around you, bringing you into his warm embrace that made you feel at home. He took a deep breath, chuckle rumbling through you.

“Maybe.”

[imladris-soldier]

Lashes (pt 3)

Bill Williamson is a racist asshole. Everyone knows it. They just punch him and go on about their day. When a Lakota woman joins the gang, everyone expects things to go on as normal, slurs and all, and for a time, it does. But her curiosity gets the better of her, and she finds that hatred is something learned - which means it can be unlearned, if given time, care, and patience. And she has plenty of those… the first two, anyway.

Bill Williamson x OC

Part 1, Part 2

Another couple of weeks passed, and Star fell back into her usual routine, though she kept an eye on Bill. He seemed to be avoiding her, and she couldn't blame him. He had shown a great deal of vulnerability to her that night, and he probably needed to recover from that, so she maintained a respectful distance, mostly just waiting to see what would happen.

Charles told her it was a lost cause – that Bill would never see past his small-mindedness. She knew that was a possibility, but something about him didn't feel that black and white. Her instinct about him was to protect him, and that was baffling considering everything.

One thing she did notice was that every single person in the camp seemed willing to make Bill the butt of their joke. All of them. And he took it. He either laughed it off, unconvincingly, or brushed it off and went on. That was troubling, but telling.

The next big event for the gang was the return of Sean MacGuire. Star had no idea what to expect when Arthur, Javier, and Charles rode off to rescue the Irishman, but somehow, when they showed up with him in tow, it all just fit. Sean was loud, boisterous, and funny. Not to mention a huge flirt.

“Who is this beauty?!” he cried when he first laid eyes on Star. “Is this who ye replaced me with? Hell, I'll turn around and go.”

She laughed and shook his hand. “Call me Star. I take it you're Sean.”

“Aye, that's me. Good ole Sean MacGuire, back and ready to rumble.”

“I hope captivity didn't take too much of a toll.”

“Nah. I'm alright. Knew these boys would come for me sooner or later. Didn't know they'd have a present for me when I got back though,” he said with a wink.

Star rolled her eyes. “Easy, pretty boy. You aren't my type.”

He pouted. “No? Then what is?”

It was easy enough to brush him off, especially since Karen's arms were waiting for him anyway. When Dutch announced a night of celebration, Star fond herself both intrigued and perturbed. Parties were not her forte, and yet they offered excellent opportunities for people watching – which is exactly what she did.

As the camp erupted into music and laughter, Star took a bottle of beer with her to a secluded little log and sat watching everyone. It was more fun for her that way, and she learned things about her companions as a bonus.

Of course, as alcohol began to flow, people grew less willing to let her linger in the shadows. They pulled her into conversations, hooked her into the punchlines of jokes she didn't hear the beginning of, and mostly just insisted on including her. It made her heart feel very full. Boy, did she love this gang.

As the night wore on, Star drank more and more, not really realizing how much she was imbibing. She wandered over to one of the fires where Hosea, Lenny, Pearson, John, and Bill had gathered. As she arrived, Bill began to speak.

“You know, when I was in the army, fellers would spend all night talkin' about what they were gonna do the second they left the army. All kinds of things. Like 'I'm gonna go off and be a cook.' Or 'I'm gonna go out and find me a wife.' Hell, someone was like 'I'm gonna go and dance with the finest whore in San Francisco.' Some shit like that. You know how fellers is,” he chuckled.

Then, after a pause, he went on. “But, you know what every one of them did the second they left the army? JOINED THE GOD DAMN ARMY AGAIN. Jesus Christ! I mean, here is a group of fellers that spent every wakin' minute just dreamin' of leaving. And... and then they left. And then they jumped back in again! Stupid! You know what? That taught me somethin'... and-and-and it taught me somethin' I'll never forget. And that is that most fellers are sheep. That's right. And if you can tell the difference... be-between a man and-and.... and a sheep, well.... that makes you a better man than me. And that's all I'm sayin'. Mark my words. All a'ya.”

He trailed off into silence for a moment before finishing with, “Stupid army.”

Star stood there, vision a little too fuzzy and thoughts a little too blurry, and then she blurted, “Fuck the army. Army k-killed everyone... everyone I had. Tied me to a post. Treated me like a god damn animal. Woulda raped me. Probably killed me. Certainly starved me.”

All of the men's gazes had come to rest on her, and she very abruptly felt shy about speaking in front of them, so she murmured, “Stupid army.”

There was a lull, then Bill pointed at her and cried, “See! Motherfuckin' army.”

“Didn't nobody doubt ya, Bill,” Hosea pointed out, smiling a bit.

“Tha's... tha's not true, though,” Star, stammered, unable to realize the ramifications of what she was about to say. “All of yous doubt him. You... you make fun of him. You call him dumb and say he isn't smart enough to know things. I seen you. All a you. And that ain't right. You... you shouldn't treat him like that.”

The silence that greeted her was deafening. It took her brain a moment to catch up with her mouth, and when she realized what she said, her hand clapped over her lips and her eyes went wide.

John was the first to speak. “Gee, Star, tell us what you really think.”

“I... I didn't mean...”

“You know, maybe she has a point,” Hosea chimed in quietly. “We do tend to give Bill a hard time. Maybe more than we should. Guess that's somethin' we oughta work on.”

“So... you're not mad at me?”

“For speaking your mind? No, dear girl. Though, it might have come across better if you weren't quite so drunk. Still, you make a good point. Somethin' to think about.”

The rest of the group fell back into easy conversation after that, but Star couldn't shake the awkwardness, so she wandered off. A few moments later, a hand grabbed hers roughly and pulled her into the trees. “What the hell?” she slurred, trying to shake her hand away. “Let go.”

“Why'd you have to go and say a thing like that?” Bill mumbled, refusing to let go of her.

“Well... 'cuz it's true. They laugh at you all the time, and they shouldn't.”

“That's... that's just the way it is around here!” he snapped.

She frowned and stopped trying to reclaim her hand. “Just because that's how it is doesn't mean that that's how it should be, Bill. Like... like how you shouldn't say the shit you say... but you do.”

His eyes lingered on their hands. “Yeah.”

“You... you're so mean. To me and Javier and Charles and Lenny. Why are you so mean? We... I... just wanna be your friend. Unless you don't want any friends. But I like you, and I want you to be happy, though I can't figure out why – oop!”

Drunken kisses inevitably turn out worse than either party would have hoped, but it was still a kiss, and it nearly knocked Star on her ass from shock. Bill's beard tickled her nose, causing her to giggle slightly. “Now you're laughin' at me,” he said, but it was obviously a tease.

“It tickled,” she explained anyway. “Why'd... why'd you do that?”

“'Cuz I wanted to.”

“Oh.” She looked around to see if anyone was watching, then got on her toes to kiss him in return. He wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her close. “Guess I wanted to, too,” she whispered, giggling again.

“You... you're drunk,” he declared, very drunkenly. “You don't laugh like that normally.”

She tipped up the rest of the bottle she hand in her hand. “Oh well. It's a party, right?”

“You're god damn right.” He emptied his bottle as well, then pulled her back in for another sloppy kiss.

Star wasn't sure what was happening, but she seemed to be enjoying herself, so she decided to let it happen. What could possibly go wrong?

….

The morning sun was a rude awakening. Star's head was pounding. Even breathing seemed to agitate it. When she finally managed to crack open an eye, she realized she was looking up at tree tops. She was in the woods somewhere near camp, on her back. “What in the hell?” she groaned.

That was when she realized she wasn't alone because her voice stirred her companion, who then loudly cried, “SHIT!”

“Ah!” she hissed. “Shh.” It took her a moment to place the voice with the person, and when she did, she bolted upright. “Bill?!”

“Yeah, princess,” he replied grumpily. “It's me.”

Another moment passed before she realized he didn't have his shirt on. Which would be difficult to do given that she did. The blue plaid hung off her loosely, concealing most of her body save her legs, which she was thankful for given that Bill's shirt was the only thing she seemed to be wearing.

“Oh no,” she whispered, looking around them. There was no chance anyone from camp would have seen them, but she did worry some about heard. “Oh no!”

“You don't gotta act so pleased,” Bill spat venomously.

She turned her gaze to him and felt a mix of emotions. On one hand, she didn't mean to be quite so horrified. On the other, drunkenly bedding anyone was way out of character for her, and she could not believe she'd done it. “Don't be so self-absorbed,” she retorted. “It's not about you.”

“Oh no? You mean you wanted to end up down the hill, in the woods, in the dirt with me?”

“Don't you get it? It's all of the part before you that's a problem! Coulda been Dutch for all I care, and I still would react the same!”

Much to her surprise, Bill's face softened. “So... it's really not me you're upset about?”

She stared at him and took a moment to analyze her feelings on that matter. None of it was ideal, but she wasn't actually upset about the company she was keeping. “It's not you. I just...” Her shoulders slumped. “It's a lot of things. But not you.”

“Oh.”

Very suddenly, things were awkward. Bill couldn't seem to look at her, and she wasn't entirely sure how to get out of his shirt to give it back. “Go... go stand over there,” she told him, pointing. “And no peeking.”

He huffed and grumbled but did as she said. She collected her clothing, most of which she seemed to be sitting on. She pulled the bottom half on first, then slid Bill's shirt over her head. He shifted to glance over his shoulder, earning him a pine cone in the back of the head. “What did I say?!”

“Sorry!” he cried, rubbing the spot tenderly. “Jesus.”

Once dressed, Star carried Bill's shirt to him, holding it out at a distance. “Here.”

He took it back – yanked it back, really – then pulled it on and buttoned it back up. They were left standing awkwardly after that, neither of them making eye contact or really knowing what to do. Bill's hat was in his hands, twisting around nervously, and Star noticed for the first time just how unfortunate his forehead was. It was already slightly too tall for his face, then with his receding hairline...

“I'm gonna go that way,” she announced, pointing in the general direction of Flatneck Station. “You head back to camp now. I'll show up... later. From over there.”

He glowered for a moment, but eventually mumbled, “Yeah, ok.”

Lacking anything better to say, Star just nodded and started off with, “Right.”

The sun was high in the sky before Star even turned back towards camp. She spent most of the walk trying to remember the night before, and only bits and pieces would come back to her. She remembered chastising a group of them for always making fun of Bill, and she remembered Bill pulling her into the woods. The kisses they shared were foggy at best, but she remembered him holding her hand for what felt like a long time – just standing there, looking vulnerable. It made her heart ache slightly. If only she could remember what she said to him.

As she trudged back into camp, Charles came rushing up to her. “Where have you been?” he murmured, checking her over for injuries.

“I don't know. Woke up over that way. I'm fine, Charles.”

His dark eyes lingered on her with concern. “Someone said they saw Bill follow you into the woods. I was worried.”

That jostled her enough to make her feel bad for brushing him off. “He did. Just... he needed to ask me something. After that....” She shrugged. “I don't really know what happened.” Her eyes went behind Charles to camp. “Did Bill come back?”

“Yeah. Couple hours ago. Said he hadn't seen you. I was about to go out looking.”

The sigh that slipped from Star's body accentuated all the soreness she had been trying to ignore. “I'm sorry. I don't usually drink like that. I don't remember much.”

A small smile lifted Charles' lips. “Well... in any case, Sean would be pleased.” His smile grew when he saw Star smile too. “Come on. Let's get you some food.”

“Thanks.”

As the afternoon wore on, Star fielded multiple questions about what had happened to her the night before. She skirted around most of it, but honestly answered that she didn't really know. As Charles had predicted, Sean got the biggest kick out of it.

“And that's exactly how any party in my honor should end,” he told her, clapping her on the shoulder. “I'm proud of ye.”

“Thank you,” she groaned.

Bill almost immediately started drinking again, and he went about his day pretending like Star didn't exist. It suited her well enough. She wasn't prepared to delve into that particular hornet's nest. Perhaps it would be better if both of them went on as if none of it ever happened.

----------------

@allaboutpizzaandfandoms

[bewaremylove]

In Novermber (?) 1974, John Lennon interviewed himself for Andy Warhol’s Interview Magazine. The interview, as the title in the pictures say, is conducted by/on John Lennon, and/or Dr Winston O’boogie. For those who don’t know, Dr Winston O’boogie is a pseudonym John used to use. 

Here, John talks about Walls And Bridges, seeing UFO’s in New York, producing other artists’ albums, Klein and how “he was unfaithful”,the other beatles, and sex with men... Of course Paul and Brian were brought into this... *snort*

The interview is rather long. You can enlarge the pictures above, or read the transcript that I will add below. 

Disclaimer: The pictures aren’t mine. Credit goes by whoever originally released them on the internet. 

INTERVIEW:

Q. Well, er, John it's been a long time no speak....

A. Has it been that long?

Q. Probably, anyway, what have you been doing since we last talked?

A. Oh, the usual.......

Q. I see, well, weren't you supposed to be making an oldies album with Phil (for is it he) Spector?

A. Yes, we started in '73, but it never ended, even Alex beeinhisbonnet Bennett noticed that.

Q. Then suddenly, as it were, you were working with that great radio star, Harry (Buckminster) Nilsson.

A. Quite right! I produced his album, "Pussycats" out now, at a reasonable discount, then went on to make my own reasonably wonderful album, "Walls And Bridges" out now, which includes the fast rising single, "Whatever Gets You Thru The Night" featuring my close friend and fiancee, Elton John, on piano and vocal harmony.

Q. Do you feel that you new album, "Walls And Bridges" is a step forward in your never ending search for artistic fulfillment, the struggle of the lonely........

A. I went to party in L.A., just to look at Liz Taylor, was I thrilled to meet her, and on top of everything, who, but who, do you think was all over her armpit? None other than the great, great show, David The Bowie! Wow! Was I thrilled to see that they were both smaller than me!

Q. The track I liked best was that miserable one about "Nobody loves you when......."

A. And Brian Wilson was there too and Ringo and Elton, and it was somebody's 21st.......

Q. Do you mean smaller physically?

A. I feel quite happy about the album. "Walls And Bridges" out now, the tittle of which, was sent from above in the guise of a public service announcement.

Q. How How! I was meaning to ask you, John, what you thought of the Bealtefest, and why you didn't go, and are you getting back together again, how's your immigration, and is it true about you and.......

A. Great. Nervous. You never know. Very appealing. If you want to help, write your congressperson, or some such similar.....

Q. About those dreadful stories that came out of L.A. with you and Harry, etc.....

A. Mostly fiction, with a grain of alcohol....

Q. I mean you don't have to answer, but did you rape a waitress in the Rainbow.....?

A. I never actually laid a hand on anyone, in fact, it was impossible, I was carried out...

Q. But.... But.... Todd Rudgren said that you.......

A. That's what you get for reading fanzines.

Q. Do you like glitter?

A. Yes.

Q. Talking of the Beatlefest, didn't you find it strange that David Peel and Alex Beeinhisbennet were both there playing 5th Beatle?

A. Yes! Considering that the day before I'd seen Peel on cable TV screaming about the Beatles ripping people off etc. etc... Alex? Well, he's sooo controversial! He's just getting into Andy Warhol you know, he's very deep.

Q. Didn't you produce an album of Peel's for Apple?

A. Yes, one of the highlights of my career!

Q. Who else have you produced records for in you astonishing but sometimes perfectly ordinary life?

A. Elephant's Memory, Yoko, Harry... myself.

Q. Now that you've been living in N.Y. 3 years, do you still....

A. If you look closely at the wonderful "Walls And Bridges", out now, album package, you will notice a little notice saying, "I saw a U.F.O..." why don't you ask me about that?

Q. Oh, I hadn't noticed, did you really... where you drunk? high? having a primal?

A. No. Actually I was very straight. I was lying naked on my bed, when I had this urge...

Q. Don't we all...?

A. So I went to the window, just dreaming around in my usual poetic frame of mind, to cut a long short story, there, as I turned my head, hovering over the next building, no more than a hundred feet away was this thing... with ordinary electric light bulbs flashing on and off round the bottom, one non blinking red light on top.... what the Nixon is that! I says to myself (for no one else was there)... Is it a helicopter? No! It makes no noise... ah then, it must be a ballon! (Frantically trying to rationalize it, in all my too human way) but no!! Balloons don't look like that, nor do they fly so low, yes folks, it was flying (very slow, about 30 m.p.h.,) below.... I repeat, below most roof tops (i.e. higher than the 'old building' lower than the 'new'.) all the time it was there, I never took my eyes off it, but I did scream to a friend who was in another room "Come and look at this" etc. etc. My friend came running and bore witness with me. Nobody else was around. We tried to take pictures (shit on my polaroid, it was bust) with a straight camera. We gave the film to Bob Gruen to develop, he brought back a blank film.... said it looked like it had been thru the radar at customs.... well, it stayed around for a bit, then sailed off.......

Q. Did you check to see.......

A. Yeh, yeh, the next day Bob (is it in focus) Gruen rang the Daily News, Times, police to see if any one else reported any thing. Two other people and or groups of/ said they too saw something..... anyway I know what I saw.......

Q. Aren't you afraid of people won't believe you.... crazy Lennon/Maharishi/etc....

A. That's just one of the many burdens I will have to bear in this day of waterbabies, inflation, generation crap, highly influential but not untidy....

Q. That's very brave of you, John, talking of Marharishi, what is the concept behind your new album, "Walls And Bridges," out now?

A. It's an unconcept album....

Q. But it has to have one.......

A. No it doesn't

Q. Yes it does.. take the first track for instance "Going Down On Love," that seems to be saying something....

A. Next you'll be asking me who "Steel And Glass" is about (3rd track side 2..).. I can tell you who it isn't about, for instance, it's not about Jackie Kennedy, Mort Sahl, Sammy Davis, Better Midler... Eartha Kitt, it's not about her either....

Q. It's not Paul again... is it? I mean you two are like... I mean grow up...

A. Wrong again.

Q. Everyone's saying this is your best album since Imagine... how do you feel?

A. I prefer the "Mother/Working Class Hero" then "Imagine" album myself.. Anyway, I suppose anything you do is either better or worse than something or other, I mean, that's how we seem to categorize things..... it's probably the way we remember.... it helps us remember... "this fish tastes as good as the fish we had in St. Tropez, but not as nice as the one Arthur caught off Long Island, do you remember that fish and chip shop in Blackpool..."

Q. I'm supposed to keep this up for a few more pages... when actually I'd finished the whole thing on "do you like glitter?"

A. Yes.

Q. It's so hard to think of questions to ask you, I mean, you must have been asked nearly everything over that last few year... is there anything you'd like to say, you know, instead of just answering these dumb... I mean you can say ANTYTHING YOU WANT.... I'm sure you mus have something to say that you haven't said already.......

A. Not really.......

Q. Oh.......

A. I'll ask you one. Why does Roman Polansky always wear the same suit?

Q. I'm stumped.

A. To get to the other side! Silly!

Q. My turn... What happened between you and Klein?

A. He was unfaithful.......

Q. I mean, you always seem to get in so DEEP, with things, then the next minute...

A. To get to the other side! Silly!

Q. That's deep... do you see much of the other ex Beatles? Or is it a sore point?

A. I love my little Beatles... I've seen a lot of Ringo... cause he comes to America a lot, as you know, I can't leave here or they'd do a Charlie Chaplin on me and I don't want an award at sixty, telling me how wonderful I used to be, but not quite wonderful enough to be allowed to live here now.... Paul, Ringo and I spent some nice afternoons in L.A. He (Paul and Linda) also came to visit in New York recently, and we had a great evening reminiscing.. in fact, it was two great evenings... which reminds me... only yesterday... to coin a phrase.... he and lovely Linda sent me a heartwarming telegram about my new album, "Walls And Bridges," out now...

Q. Don't you ever stop name dropping and plugging your album, "Walls And Bridges," out now?

A. Not if I can help it!

Q. It is rather gross, John....

A. 20% in fact....

Q. How cute! I see you never mentioned George... is there something....

A. No it's just that he hasn't been here in such a long time.

Q. Is it true you and Ringo are going to appear with him on his upcoming tour?

A. Not on your nelly! Just another rumour Dr.....

Q. Why not? It sounds like fun...

A. No one ever asked... and he probably wants all the loot for himself...

Q. That's a little bitter sounding, John, people might get the wrong idea....

A. No, it's just a pleasant reality, my dear, nothing more nothing less..

Q. Todd Rundgren said you were a "fucking idiot" in an english rock paper, what do you have to say to that?

A. I appreciate his concern...

Q. Is that all you're going to say.. I mean aren't you going to be bitingly witty or something?

A. Well.. I did write a little something... I sent it to the Melody Maker.. the trouble it.... I quite like the little rabbit....

Q. Have you any plans to go on tour? Like it's a long time since... what was it... Geraldo?..

A. I haven't got a band. It's not that easy without a band, I mean, you've got to start from scratch... I get a lot of offers to do benefits.. it makes me guilty to refuse... trouble is... the people that ask, don't understand the business...

Q. That sounds like a copout, John, if you don't mind me saying so...

A. Well, you're entitled to your opinion... I also get BIG MONEY offers too... but that doesn't make the job easier... slightly more interesting but...

Q. I HEAR YOU'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF RADIO.......

A. In connection with my new album, "Walls And Bridges," out now...

Q. How do you like being a d.j.?

A. Actually... I really enjoy it.. I was brought up on it... Radio, I mean,.. I've been thinking of doing something regular... for a few years now...I don't mean just playing records... but like, making tapes and... I wouldn't like to get stuck in there, you know, with formats and such... I thought the best thing to do would be to, you know, just make tapes and put them on W.B.A.I., Pacifica or whatever, they could have any money etc.. and I'd have fun... maybe I will.... I just never seem to get around to it.... tho I was talking to an old ex radio friend, Elliot (after dinner) Mintz, on the west coast, he said he'd love to help.... you know... well who knows....

Q. I'm sure a lot of people would love to....

A. Yes, yes quite.

Q. Talking of radio, I heard that you and... of all people... Howard Cosell... were going to do something together...

A. On radio, yes, I only heard about it today myself... hmmmm.. interesting..

Q. It's your birthday soon and you will be 34.. doesn't that worry you... you know 'aging pacifist, rock star crinkles before our eyes'.. that kind of thing..

A. 9th of October... send presents to Lennon Music, 1370 Ave. of the Americas, 6th floor... I quite like feeling the way I do, since thirty etc., in fact, it feels better than say 24... it's the sound of it, it SOUNDS sort of scary... you know.. life simply flashing by... and me still trying to get in the top ten and all... but it feels ok.

Q. Do you think you'll make any more movies, I mean, appear in them, like that Dick LEster thing... "How I Won The War?"

A. The main thing I learned from that... when was it 66/67? was that it's BORING, sitting 'round waiting for the director.. he has all the fun... not that I'm actually inundated with offers... but the things that do come my way are sort of... I think shit is the word I'm looking for.

Q. How about writing music for movies?

A. Well obviously I get offered more of that kind of thing, but it would have to really interest me.

Q. Why are you typing this as if someone was here with you, asking all these things?

Q. It makes a change... anyway, I enjoy typing... I only learned it last year... but my neck IS beginning to hurt and it's getting a bit boring..

Q. I'm sorry. Just a few more questions MR. LENNON, I'm sure you understand I have a deadline... my editor... etc..

A. Alright then, GET ON WITH IT!

Q. Have you ever fucked a guy?

A. Not yet, I thought I'd save it til I was 40, life begins at 40 you know, tho I never noticed it.

Q. It is trendy to be bisexual and you're usually 'keeping up with the Jones', haven't you ever... there was talk about you and PAUL...

A. Oh, I thought it was about me and Brian Epstein... anyway I'm saving all the juice for my own version of THE REAL FAB FOUR BEATLES STORY etc.. etc..

Q. It seems like you're saving quite a lot for when you're 40..

A. Yes, there might be nothing better to do, tho I don't believe it.

Q. Your life must be so Glamorous being a superstar and meeting people like Howard Cosell and Mayor Beame...

A. I havent met either of them...

Q. Well, you know what I mean... because of my association with you, people are always asking me 'What's he really like,' how can I them you're just a beautiful, shy, modest, amazingly creative, paranoid pop star?

A. Shucks! You dont have to do that, just listen to my new album, "Walls And Bridges," out now..!

Q. Of course, on the other hand, you're a fucking ego maniac...

A. Of course, but who isn't?

Q. Off hand I can't name one...

A. Well, if you find one let's go and interview him/her/it...

Q. What a jolly idea. Perhaps we could get a commission.. you know a sort of wandering Jill Johnston.

A. I bought her a pair of shoes once, she's never forgiven me! Didn't somebody buy the Village Voice? It seems to have changed a litte, mainly in the way they squash the front page up... does Jan Wenner own it or what?

Q. No, it's just keeping up...

A. With the Times... we all know that one... I don't care what Lori Sebastian says, I've had enough of this... anyway it's not as if I'm on the cover or anything, I mean jeeze, I love Andy and everything, but this is it!

With that Mr. Lennon showed me the door, which was white. He was wearing jeans and a Mick Jagger tee-shirt. I wore a certain look.

[cwnerd12]

You’ll Be Given Love

“You’ll Be Given Love” The Bros stand on a stage, arranged by age. Arthur, “Uh, hi, I’m Arthur Shepherd.” They each introduce themselves in order: Sean, Ethan, Robert, and James. Arthur, “And we’re here tonight because tomorrow, our baby brother, David, is getting married.” (“LGBT” CupcakKe) Cut to: the greatest Pride party Gilboa has ever witnessed. Somehow, David has lost his shirt, but it clearly doesn’t bother him. In a very full club, he dances like an idiot with his brothers, AFG members, and random colorful partiers. A drag queen pours champagne into his open mouth. Male, female, and gender-indeterminate strippers dance and get money thrown at them. Shots after shots get served. David vogues like a motherfucker and lands a flawless death drop. He scream-sings along to “Cut to the Feeling.” Cut to: David sits in the sunroof of his limo, chugging from a bottle of champagne while his brothers hang out other windows. The whole city has come to cheer for him: people wave AFG and pride flags and dance in the streets.

Morning, David lays passed out on a sofa while the bros lay around also passed out, liquor bottles still strewn around. Michelle, clearly not pleased, shakes David’s shoulder. He struggles to open his eyes and groans, “Oh, fuck.” Michelle, “You are marrying my brother in four hours.” David, “Shit. Okay.” He tries to sit up, and rubs his head. Michelle, “Jesus fuck, how hung-over are you?” David, “Very.” Behind him, Ethan stirs, “Oh, fuck.” Michelle, “You completely embarrassed yourself last night, and now there’s footage of you grinding with some nameless stripper all over the internet.” David, “Was it male or female?” Michelle, “I’m gonna say non-binary.” David, “That’s valid. I had fun. I think the last time I properly had fun was our Royal Hotel blowout in Ashdod.” Michelle, “That’s no way for a king to behave! You embarrassed the whole country last night!” David, “Since when did you turn into Rose?” Michelle, “Since when did you turn into a dumb slut?!” David, “Oh, I should have known this was about Beth.” Michelle, “This is about you being an idiot!” David rubs his face, “Can I at least eat something while you scream at me?” he turns to the bros, “Who wants eggs?” Five miserable groans. David gets up and heads for the kitchen. Michelle follows him, “You embarrassed Jack last night!” David, “I did not.” Michelle, “Yes, you did!” David, “Did he tell you that I embarrassed him?” He gets a carton of eggs out of the fridge and sets to making  shitload of scrambled eggs. Michelle, “You embarrassed me last night!” David, “You’re gonna be my sister-in-law. How exactly does that qualify as someone who gets embarrassed by my behavior?” Michelle, “You’re a fucking king, David! You have to act like one!” David, “Does that mean that I don’t get to cerebrate the fact that I’m gonna marry the love of my life?” Michelle, “It means you have to act with dignity! What the fuck happened to your shirt?!” David, “Uh…. it kind of disappeared.” Michelle, dismayed, “Oh my god.” David, “Hey, I remember seeing pictures of Jack doing that kind of shit all the time.” Michelle, “Because he was fucking miserable and lashing out at our parents!” David, “So, can I say that I, too, am lashing out at Silas?” Michelle, “No.” David, “Where is Jack, anyway?” Michelle, “He’s upstairs with Mom.” David, “Did he sleep last night?” Michelle, “Yes.” David, “Good. Then we have nothing to worry about today.” Michelle, “Except for your hungover ass vomiting during your vows.” David, “You’re a medic, give me some anti-nausea medicine, then!” Michelle rolls her eyes and mutters, “You should drink something with electrolytes in it, get re-hydrated.” David, “Okay, I will.” Michelle, “Lucky for you, I’ve nursed Jack through a few hangovers. If I can get him looking well enough that Dad doesn’t notice that he’s seriously hungover, I can get you to look decent in your wedding pictures.” David, “You’re amazing, Michelle.” Michelle, “I’m doing this for Jack. Don’t kid yourself into thinking that I’ve forgiven you in any form.” David, “Are you ever going to forgive me?” Michelle, “Probably not.” David, “Oh, come on, we’re gonna be family! And because of me, you and Abby got married, too!” Michelle, sarcastic, “Call the Vatican, you’re eligible for sainthood.” David, “If you can get me through a hangover for Jack’s sake, you can forgive me for Jack’s sake.” Michelle, “I’m fucking talking to you for Jack’s sake.” David, “Look, I really fucked up with Beth. I admit that, I own that. But this doesn’t make me the same as Silas.” Michelle, “Say that again and I will slam your face into that hot pan of eggs.” David, “Well, what am I supposed to say?” Michelle, “Nothing! I’d be fine with you never speaking to me again!” David, “I’m not gonna do that.” Michelle, “Then just accept the fact that I can hold a fucking grudge, okay?”

In Rose’s apartment, Jack and Rose argue. Rose, “I am not wearing that. I’m still in mourning for your father. I can’t be seen wearing something like that.” Jack, “No black!” Rose, “There’s black in this dress!” Jack shoots her a look that says you know what I mean. Rose simpers down at the dress, “You know I wouldn’t be caught dead in Versace.” Jack, “Exactly.” Rose, “After David’s antics last night, I won’t be able to look any of the other queens in the face. I can’t imagine what they’re saying right now.” Jack, “David can party.” He picks the dress up and pushes it towards Rose, “Wear it!” Rose, “Can I at least wear a blazer over it?” Jack, “No!” Michelle enters. Rose, “How is David?” Michelle, “He’s a dumb, hungover thot, but I’m going to have him ready and looking good for the wedding, even if I have to sign a deal with Satan to do it.” Jack, “Tell Mom.” Michelle, “Tell her what?” Jack points at the dress, “Wear this.” Michelle looks at it, “You should wear it, Mom. You can’t wear all black to a wedding.” Rose, “I never imagined this would be what I’d wear to Jack’s wedding.” Jack, hopefully, “Wear it?!” Rose, “I might as well. Nothing else is going to be like what I imagined.” Michelle, sharply, “What did you imagine, Mom?” Rose, “A nice ceremony befitting a royal family. Something visible to the public, not just a small, private ceremony.” Jack and Michelle exchange looks. Jack, frustrated, “I don’t… talking.” Rose, “I know, I know. This is much easier for you, and you shouldn’t have to worry at your wedding. But you do have to grant me the right to be unhappy about the name change. I named you Jonathan Benjamin thinking you’s stay Jonathan Benjamin.” Michelle, “Dad didn’t even like Jonathan.” Rose, “It’s a family name!” Jack, “Jack Shepherd,” he concentrates hard and slowly says, “My name is Jack Shepherd.” Michelle, quietly, “He’s been practicing that all week.” Rose looks sadly down at Jack, swallows hard, and then says, “I just never once thought I’d be doing all this without your father. All he ever wanted was for you two to be happy.” Michelle, bitterly sarcastic, “I’m sure that’s exactly what was on his mind when he forced us to watch David get bombs dropped on him.” Rose, “Don’t bring that up! Not today!” Michelle, “You’re the one who brought it up!” Jack, loudly, “Stop!” He gives them both a dirty look. Rose, resigned, “I’ll wear the dress.” She pauses, and then looks at Michelle, “Is David still downstairs?” Michelle, “I think so?” Rose, “I’m going to give him his gift.”

Back in David’s kitchen, David and the bros eat scrambled eggs and chug gatorade. Rose enters, David sees her, “Hi, Rose.” The bros all make sounds somewhat like greetings. Rose, “I trust you boys enjoyed yourselves last night.” David, “Yes, we did.” Rose, “I’m giving you your gift early.” She pulls a key out of her pocket and hands it to David. He looks at it. Rose, “There’s a cabin up in the mountains, in a beautiful wooded area. It’s miles away from anywhere else. There’s a nearby stream for fishing, land for hunting, and a garden for the summer. It’s been set up for you and Jack to spend your honeymoon, and it’s yours to visit any time you wish.” David, “Wow, thanks, Rose!” Ethan, “I want a cabin.” Arthur, “Stage a coup and you can get one.” Ethan goes up behind David and grabs him, making a chokehold, “Easy.” David drops his eggs with a spectacular clatter and tries to wrestle Ethan away. The other bros hoot and yell. David breaks free of Ethan’s grip and then pins him to the counter, “Not today!” The bros applaud. David, “I bested Silas and Amal, you really think you can beat me?” Ethan sputters, “You’re my fucking baby brother, man! You’re just lucky I’m hungover!” David lets Ethan go, “And you’re lucky I’m a merciful king!” Rose struggles to maintain her composure, “Perhaps you boys should get ready.” David, still laughing, “Yeah, don’t worry, we’ll be ready.”

Rose and Jessie sit in the back of a limo, Rose wearing a colorful Versace dress that looks good on her but she’d still never wear. Jessie, “Now that’s a fun dress.” Rose, “Jack is forcing me to wear it.” Jessie, “Used to be the only time I ever wore a dress was at weddings: when I got married, when Arthur got married, and when Sean got married. I never in my life thought I’d even wear as many dresses as I have now. Life sure changes in funny ways, doesn’t it?” Rose, “That it does.” Rose, “Oh, I just know I’m gonna cry the whole time. I might even start crying now. But these are the good kind of tears! Usually when I’m crying over David, it’s the bad kind of tears.” Rose looks out her window without saying anything. Jessie goes on, “And I thought I was proud of him when he graduated high school!” she sighs, “It’s hard doing it all without John.” Rose turns her head, “When did he die?” Jessie, “Oh, it’s been about ten years, now. David was fifteen. John always knew David was destined for something big, but I don’t know if he ever imagined David would be king. I’m giving David a framed picture of me and John at our wedding for a gift. It’s not quite a cabin, but, I think he’ll love it. I know he misses John. He hardly spoke for about a year after he died.” Rose, “It’s hard to imagine David not talking.” Jessie, “Even harder to live with.” Rose, “I watch Jack struggle to just get a few words out, to think that someone would just choose not to talk…” Jessie, “It wasn’t a choice. He was just trying to deal with losing his father in the best way he knew how.”

Outside the national cathedral, massive crowds gather to cheer and wave flags. Inside, people happily gather. Michelle and Abby giddily show off their rings. Helen approaches them, and Michelle gives her a big hug. Jessie cries and laughs with the Bros. Rose sits by herself, detached from those around her. She looks down at her wedding ring and spins it around on her finger. Her lip trembles subtly and tears fill her eyes. She wipes them away. David and Jack recite their vows and exchange rings. Flashback: masculine hands place a ring on the finger of a feminine hand. Young Silas, in his army uniform, smiles proudly at young Rose, their wedding. Young Rose, pregnant and in a cheap dress, smiles brilliantly and kisses him. In the present time, Rose claps and tries her best to smile for Jack and David, who kiss happily.

At a reception at the palace, David opens the gift Jessie gives him. He sees the picture of his parents and tears up, “Oh my god, Mom!” Jessie, “It’s so hard to know what to get for you now that you’re king!” David, “It’s wonderful. This is going in my office, where everyone who meets with me will see it.” Jessie, “Oh, i’m glad you like it.” David hugs her gratefully. Rose looks on, and then kneels beside Jack to speak to him, “I’m not feeling the best right now. I’m going to go upstairs and rest.” Jack, “Leaving?” Rose, “I don’t feel well.” Jack, “Okay.” Rose, “Jack, I want you to know… I’m very proud of you, and I’m very happy for you. And I think your father would feel the same way.” Jack, “Really?” Rose, “Yes. He loved you, Jack. He truly loved you. And I love you, too.” Jack, “I love you, Mom.” Rose cries happily, “You go on your honeymoon and enjoy your time with David. You deserve to be happy.” Jack hugs her, and she hugs him back.

Rose, carrying a bottle of wine, walks through the palace lobby, still under construction. She gets in an elevator and goes up into her apartment. She kicker her heels off and goes into the living room. She goes over to the bar and digs around in a drawer for a wine bottle opener. She finds one, and opens the bottle of wine with a loud pop. She takes a chug straight from the bottle. She mutters to herself, “At least they chose good wine.” She takes another swig, goes over to the sofa, sits down, and sprawls out. She takes a long chug, and then looks forlornly up at Silas’s portrait, “Our children are MARRIED, Silas, can you believe it?” She takes another swig, “You know, there was once a time when I would have been thrilled to hear that our children had married the likes of David Shepherd and Abigail Hatch, just not in the current arrangement,” she takes another swig and grimaces, “That was a long time ago.” She drinks again, “Maybe that’s the mistake we made. We should have just let David date Michelle. They would have been happy together. We’d still have him as a son-in-law, but it would be worth the trade-off.” She goes quiet and contemplates for a moment, “When the doctor said we were having a boy and a girl, I couldn’t help but start imagining two weddings. I dreamt of finding the perfect dress for the girl, and then watching you walk her down the aisle,” she sniffs, “Do you know what she chose to get married in? Something to show off her tattoos. Those were her exact words. And then she went and got another tattoo, while still wearing the dress.” She takes a long chug. The door opens, and Michelle enters followed by Abby. Michelle, “Hey, Mom, Jack and David just left. Jack said you were up here. Are you okay?” Rose makes an attempt to sit up, “I’m doing as well as I can be.” Michelle looks disapprovingly down at the bottle of wine, “Yeah, nothing that can be handled with a bottle of wine, right?” Rose, “Oh, don’t be so judgmental. Today has been difficult for me.” Michelle, sarcastic, “Yeah, because watching your son marry the love of his life is just so awful, isn’t it?” Rose, “Don’t be cross with me, Michelle.” Michelle, “Why are you so miserable? Weddings are supposed to make people happy!” Rose, “I just wish the circumstances could be a bit different, is all.” Michelle, “Different how?” Rose, “I should have told Silas to let you date David. Then you would be the one marrying him, and things would be better.” Michelle, “And where the fuck does that leave Jack?” Rose, “He could have married Abby.” Abby, “I was already married to Norman. I was forced into it, and it was the worst thing that ever happened to me, even being kidnapped by the Amalekites. I would never, ever wish forced marriage on anyone, especially not Jack.” Michelle, “You just can’t stand to see Jack happy, can you?!” Rose, “I want him to be happy, just as much as you do.” Michelle, “Then why aren’t you happy for him now?” Rose, “I just wish your father were here.” Michelle, “Dad would rather shoot himself again than watch Jack marry David.” Rose, “Stop it! You’re just being cruel!” Michelle, “You have no room to talk to me about being cruel.”  Rose, “There are things that I still can’t forgive David for.” Michelle, “Please tell me you’re talking about the girl.” Rose, “What? No. David ruined my life.” Michelle, “You were one half of the coup that made him king!” Rose, “Linus was going to destroy Gilboa. Just because I recognized that David was the better king doesn’t mean I don’t wish it was still your father.” Michelle, “Dad was a terrible fucking king.” Rose, “Don’t say that!” Michelle, “David couldn’t build an army just by smiling and being charming. People wanted to see Dad gone, and Dad couldn’t let go. That’s why David’s king now!” Rose, “I miss my husband! Is that a crime?” she cries, “I wish you would forgive him.” Michelle, “What did Dad ever do to earn forgiveness?”  Rose, “You want to forgive him.” Michelle glares at her, and says in a low, deadly voice, “Don’t tell me what I want.” Rose, “I know you do!” Michelle, voice shaking, eyes full of tears. “He lied to me, and cheated on you!” Rose, “He loved you so much.” Michelle, disgusted, “He tried to torture Jack until he became another person. That’s not love. I don’t know what the hell you think love is, but Dad never loved us.” She turns around and heads for the door. Abby follows. Rose, “Michelle!” Rose watches them leave, and then sits for a moment, stunned. She looks back up at the portrait of Silas.

In their apartment, Abby, wearing her comfortable pajamas, sits on the sofa, drinking a glass of wine and watching the news. Michelle comes out into the living room wearing a silky, lacy cami and shorts lingerie set. Abby looks her up and down, “Well, damn. I definitely picked the right wife.” Michelle laughs and goes over and sits down. Abby turns the TV off, and Michelle curls up to her. Michelle, “Do you ever think you’ll forgive your father?” Abby, “Nope. I never intend to forgive my father, and I’m perfectly happy with that. I’ve made sure Frankie and Mom know it, too. Frankie gets it, but Mom won’t accept it. One of the reasons I wanted a courthouse wedding was because then I wouldn’t have to deal with her.” Michelle lays her head on Abby’s shoulder, “I still haven’t forgiven David over the mess with the girl.” Abby, “Beth?” Michelle, “Did you ever meet her?” Abby, “I saw her around, from time to time. Never really talked to her.” Michelle, “What was she like?” Abby, “Pretty… and honestly kind of dumb.” Michelle, “Not unlike David.” Abby laughs, “Yeah…” she drifts off for a moment, “For as stupid a decision as sleeping with Beth was, I can’t stay mad at David. He saved me from Norman, and… when we were with the Amalekites, I was never scared because I knew David would save us. I trusted him that much. I still trust him that much.” Michelle, quietly, “Jack forgives him. He forgives both of them, David and Dad… but he’s always been like that. He’d rather just put things in the past and move on. I’m the one who can’t let things go. Dad and I have that in common.” Abby, “I gave David the slap of his life when I figured out what he’d done. Did it twice.” Michelle, “Wish I coulda been there.” She sits silently. Wordless flashback: Silas gives a speech, while child Jack and Michelle stand beside him, on either side of Rose. Michelle looks at the faces in the crowd, all of which are entranced and moved by her powerful father. Michelle gazes proudly at Silas. He pauses his speech, looks over at her, and smiles with pride and adoration. Back in the present time, Michelle still sits with her head on Abby’s shoulder, “I know David regrets what he did. I know I should just forgive him and get over it, but, I can’t. And I can’t figure out who it is I’m not forgiving: David, or Dad.” Abby puts her finger underneath Michelle’s chin, and gently raises her face so she can kiss her. They kiss slowly and passionately. On the table, a phone dings. Michelle looks at it, “And that’ll be the newlyweds.” Abby, “Do you want to get it?” Michelle reaches for the phone. On the screen, a ridiculously cute selfie of David and Jack, both smiling and laughing. Caption, “Jack hasn’t stopped smiling since we got here.” Abby, “Well, you have to give it to them, they are a cute couple.” Michelle sniffs and wipes away a tear, “Jack deserves this. He really does. David loves him so much.”

In their cabin, Jack curls up happily on David’s lap. David, “You know, five years ago, I thought I’d finish my tour in the army, go back to Bethlehem, and work on the family farm. Maybe once I had enough money, I’d buy my own. That was my wildest, most ambitious dream. I thought Prince Jack was just some douchebag I’d never, ever have anything to do with,” he grins, and Jack grins back, “I thought maybe I’d meet someone, get married, if it was a girl. I never thought I could be this happy. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He caresses the side of Jack’s face, and kisses him tenderly. Jack rests his head on David’s shoulder, and thinks for a moment. Slowly, he says, “Marriage, before… drowning. Felt like drowning.” David grows serious. Jack pauses to think, “Nine years old… family vacation. Beach.” flashback, nine-year-old Jack chases Michelle down a rocky, forested beach, while Silas and Rose look on in the background. In another shot, Jack swims through murky green water. Jack, “My foot, seaweed, caught,” his legs kick in a patch of seaweed, ams flail, “Can’t swim, can’t breathe,” his mouth opens, “Water, in my mouth… try to breathe, in my lungs…” his arms begin to lose their strength, but then something pulls Jack up. Silas drags a coughing, gasping Jack ashore, and sets him on the ground while he struggles to breathe. “Dad grabbed me…” Silas looks down at Jack, eyes full of worry, but the rest of him guarded, fearful of showing too much emotion. Back in real time, Jack goes on, “Marriage, Katrina, Lucinda… drowning,” He looks up at David, “I’m not drowning.” David kisses him adoringly. He looks Jack in the eye, “Jack, no one is going to hurt you, ever again. I swear, I won’t let anyone…” Jack gives him a long, lingering kiss.

(“All Is Full of Love (Voltaic Version)” Björk) David and Jack make passionate love. In their bedroom, Abby and Michelle make love. Michelle arches her back, grabs the pillows, and curls her toes as Abby pleasures her. Jack smiles blissfully as David kisses his neck. In the bed she used to share with Silas, Rose lays alone. Jack digs his fingernails into David’s back and grabs his ass. Michelle cries out with intense delight. Rose forlornly looks at the picture on her nightstand, young, handsome Silas, still in the army. Beyond that, the family portrait from Silas’s coronation. Rose looks at them in bewilderment, wondering where it all went wrong, and tears run down her face. Jack lays in David’s arms, and the two laugh happily. Michelle curls up with Abby, who kisses her forehead lovingly. Rose turns away from the pictures, and weeps.

[visionssofgideon]

In-depth Reflection on Kingsman: The Golden Circle (Spoilers)

FUCKING SPECTACULAR, EH!

After so much waiting, watching new promos and trailers everyday, I watched Kingsman: The Golden Circle today! The sequel to my favorite movie of all time! And BOY, I have so many thoughts. I am going to try to go as in-depth as I can, and as much in order as I can but BEWARE this is nearly a shit post with me pouring all of my feelings into it and will have random points all over the place, but mainly is me trying to process everything, this is A LOT (it’s 3k) and basically a summary of the movie 

SPOILER ALERT!!! OBVIOUSLY LOL okAY LET’S GO

They started off the fucking MOVIE with Take me Home, Country Roads on a bagpipe FUCK

FUCK YEAH EGGSY UNWIN! GARY UNWIN! MY MAN! MY DUDE! MY SON! YOU LOOK SO FINE IN THAT SUIT, YOU LOOK JUST LIKE YOUR DECEASED HUSBAND shit too soon

IT HASN’T EVEN BEEN A MINUTE CHARLIE GET THE FUCK OUT IDC HOW YOU SURVIVED GO AWAY also ALL THESE CARS OH FUCK IS THIS ALL POPPY! Anyways Yes yes yes EPIC drifting cab scene! Eggsy has grown so much yeah boy you kick his ass! I love this drifting cab scene, they built a custom cab that could drift how amazing is that! But oh nooo, ugh Charlie’s stupid arm made the poisonous blade kill the driver :(

Eggsy can hold his breath because he was training for the marines but also throwback to his training when he was the only one that was smart enough to see the two-way mirror! The police were like yOu wOt m8 @ Eggsy but iT’S OKAY there’s a secret Kingsman entrance under the lake! By the way HI MERLIN I LOVE YOU YOU SCOTTISH MAN but Eggsy you are a BRAVE man for jumping into shit! On a side not, the hand just hacked into Kingsman holy shite

HI TILDE agh prefer Eggsy with the love of his life, Harry Hart, but you DAMN brave for wanting to kiss a shit-covered Eggsy! Also HI JB YOU’VE GROWN SO MUCH! But wait, EGGSY MOVED INTO HARRY’S HOUSE! Just like the fanfics said! That makes me so happy

Cool transition from a bag of pot to Cambodia! Poppy is FUCKING CRAZY, actual psychopath, I mean cannibalistic burgers, delicious! Those dogs are cool, more realistic than other movies, but rip people who are put through the shredder! Ngl that burger looks pretty good

AW TILDE TRYING TO TEACH EGGSY MANNERS BUT FUCK HERE IS THE DELETED HARTWIN BREAKFAST SCENE FROM TSS! THE MYTHICAL BREAKFAST SCENE IS REAL! Eggsy paying close attention to his lover Harry Hart is

The fact that Eggsy has to hold back tears when simply thinking of Harry is so :( And he even asks Mr. Pickles, because he remembers Harry’s love for him. Eggsy Unwin was in love with Harry Hart, okay.

“Galahad, late again” HAHA just like Harry used to be! Hi off-brand Michael Caine-looking Arthur! ROXY MORTON IS MY GIRLFRIEND HI I LOVE YOU OKAY I KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN BUT I LOVE YOU! She looks so fly, so does Eggsy and Merlin! Also bye @Charlie I can’t believe he survived armless and now works for the craziest person ever!

Honestly rip this guy who just got the golden circle tat and is eating his friend in the form of a burger which btw looks pretty good! Welcome to hell!

Oh nice, the dinner scene! Eggsy is such a gentleman but he actually loves Tilde? He’s actually doing this wow and it’s all because Roxy Morton aka my gf is helping him out! Of course he doesn’t know about spanish painter Frida Kahlo! Roxy ugh ur da best from galahad, and roxy asking best friend or best agent? Both ;) AGH also NICE Eggsy started his own wall like Harry’s of the menial news! UGH Eggsy’s friend is so dumb what is he DOING! AHHHH HAND GRENADE and Eggsy cursing 100x in front of Tilde’s parents

NO NO NO BOMBING EGGSY’S PLACE! Everything is gone ALL OF HARRY’S STUFF! NO JB NONO EGGSY’S FRIEND! WHAT THE WHERE DID THESE MISSILES COME FROM oh fucking POPPY

Roxy knew, she knew, she even tried to escape but… Roxy Morton! MATTHEW VAUGHN I am utterly disgusted and disheartened! Roxy had so much potential, and remaining in a platonic relationship with Eggsy, their friendship was amazing! She was a brilliant agent, not to mention um the only female!? DENIAL! DENIAL! Roxy survived, she tried escaping, so she survived! WE WILL SEE ROXY MORTON IN THE THIRD KINGSMAN MOVIE OKAY

Arthur is dead, all the Kingsman including Percival are dead… Poppy is absolutely crazy, and is giving Charlie a new arm! God, from the trailer, the crazy slingshot arm! Agh no no no this won’t be good…

Eggsy, all alone, in despair. And here go Merlin and Eggsy blaming each other, for possible betrayal! And god Eggsy, Eggsy telling it like it is, everybody is dead, JB, Roxy, his friend, everybody… but Merlin told him to not shed a tear, to hold in emotion, as if he has done this before.

Thus, the doomsday protocol ensues- shopping, drinking. Statesman whiskey! Drinking to everybody! Drink to Scottland! Haha, nice try @ drunk!Merlin! But drunk Eggsy slurring his words and Merlin being an absolute mess and crying is just…. Somebody please get Merlin Kentucky fried chicken, please

HAHA that part of Merlin breaking in, opening the barrel! Hello CHANNING TATUM! Agent Teqila HAHA okay! That fighting was great, wow like being an American for once! WOW please don’t set their balls on fire, that would not be good! HAHA Yeah Tequila, go fuck yourself! 

WAIT BUT, HARRY HART IS ALIVE! HARRY HART, SHAVING, BEAUTIFUL MALE SPECIMAN, HARRY HART! HARRY FUCKING HART! EGGSY UNWIN’S SOULMATE! He is alive, and beautiful as ever! Yes Eggsy, we understand, “Fuck me” as in you love Harry Hart we get it! Eggsy and Merlin yelling, but alas, a two-way mirror! YAY GINGER ALE TO THE RESCUE LOVE YOU HALLE BERRY MY QUEEN

Harry looks all smiley! All happy! But he doesn’t know… I predicted this, his amnesia :( Please remember bby! Eggsy is all frustrated, but look at Harry focusing on his butterflies! YES YES THE STATESMAN IN KENTUCKY SAVED HARRY wow cool technology for being American, I would like to thank Ginger! Unfortunately, Harry reverted to his old self. Before kingsman or army, he was a lover of butterflies. Wow. Before being in the army, a kingsman agent, he was a lepidopterist

ELTON JOHN, THE BEST PART OF THIS MOVIE POSSIBLY! Telling it to Poppy as it should be!

HAHA hello champ! Yay jeff bridges! What a man, he seems so chill, I want to have a conversation with him! Champ>>>>>Arthur. Will never get over the fact that the Kingsman are knights of the round table, galahad, lancelot, percival… the statesman are fckuing alcoholic beverages how American sigh,,,,, also Whiskey, hi pedro pascal!

Harry Hart reading his dear book about butterflies! No, they’re putting him through training again to jog his memory! But poor Harry is struggling no no my bby please stop! Btw Colin Firth is the best actor ever okay thanks! Agh this scene is breaking my heart :(((( Harry’s trying to hard to remember, Merlin is trying so much, but Harry’s just here soaking wet :(((

AW JB 2.0 thanks @tilde aw okay people get people they love dogs to help them…. Keep that in mind for later for what I KNOW is coming up!

Lol mini condom and penis joke bc haha America sucks! Look Charlie’s gf who Eggsy will have to get to for their mucus membrane because the trackers needs to be… Haha Whiskey “tinder-what?” me!

BLUE VEIN shit… tequila come on mate! So sugar is 10000x worse than any drug rip :( Elton John is great I love him! Poppy is crazy pt. 2, those dogs are scary, please no! Hey, Elton is friend hell yeah!

Ahhh, can I just say, even though I don’t want Eggsy with Tilde, he is such a decent man to tell her what he is going to do! Despite knowing she’s going to be mad! NO PROPOSAL PLEASE but still, Eggsy Unwin is a good man that is all I have to say! Started from the bottom (literally) now we’re here! Lol @Tilde he actually loves Harry Hart! Anyways, time to travel through the vagina! Matthew Sexist Vaughn everybody! LOL @Merlin being uncomfortable and Ginger being total 100% chill, they are perfect for each other! i ship

HI HARRY! Oh god is this the maggot butterfly scene? YES IT IS! oh fuck fuck fuck. Okay can I say, Harry Hart is so smiley, he loves talking about butterflies. THIS SCENE GOD yes Harry pin Eggsy against the wall! Btw my FAVORITE thing is when Harry says “Perhaps you mean larvae” and smiles. Such a sweet smile! And the smiles are sad at the same time, because he doesn’t know who Eggsy is! And now Eggsy is sad drinking, trying not to think about the old Harry, trying to deal with the whole Tilde situation. God, the scenes between Harry and Eggsy are making me so elated with both joy and sorrow, because Hartwin. BUT THE PUPPY! Eggsy looked up pet store and

OH MY GOD MR. PICKLES 2.0! FAVORITE SCENE EVER! Ahhh Harry smiling, or rather Colin smiling at the pupper, the most precious thing! Young, non-agent Harry Hart is innocent and will love and cherish a puppy. BUT EGGSY, stop torturing him! Eggsy is trying so hard to jog Harry’s memory, but it’s so sad! Also, Colin Firth’s acting in this scene, is just fantastic! Absolutely amazing, to see the contrast! Young Harry Hart or CGId Colin Firth is the sweetest thing, to see his love Mr. Pickles. Because truly, Mr. Pickles was Harry Hart’s pressure point. Saying that Harry would never hurt a puppy, it was a blank, and HARRY IS BACK! Harry Hart, the agent, the man who knew he was an agent, but also a man. A man with feelings, with love, with innocence! No more Eggy, hello Eggsy, your husband! GOSH, THE HUG! Eggsy Unwin on his tippy toes hugging his soulmate Harry Hart and the puppy he got him! YES, remember how Tilde got Eggsy a puppy to help him because she loved him. If you love somebody and get them a puppy, then you know that Eggsy Unwin is deeply in love with Harry Hart. I truly think this is it. Hartwin confirmed #nice

BAR NICE yay Harry is back! Still can’t believe! OH GOD Eggsy holding back tears seeing his eye, but Harry completely and undoubtedly ROCKING those eyepatch-glasses like he was meant to! Okay, who is this redneck guy calling Harry the f-word. Please, Harry Hart may be the gayest man alive (in TSS with Dean’s guy saying that there’s “another rent boy around the corner” triggering Harry just like the f-word did, as well as his smirk in TSS when saying “my black jewish boyfriend” HAHA) but this is just rude. And Harry can’t aim because his depth perception is 100x worse than before now :( Stop punching Harry my bby! #StopHurtingHarryHart2k17! Manners DO Maketh Man, but Harry still needs to relearn! Well Whiskey going to whip them into shape, Diana Prince 2.0? That’s a REALLY GOOD FIGHT SCENE! Wow Southerners are not like what I expected! I hope Harry gets better soon

UGH Poppy is crazy pt. 3! This disease is crazy, but there is Elton John to save the day! ELTON YOU DA MAN! Anyways, yikes! DANCING HHAHA, Tequila could bust some dank moves! Anyways the world is going crazy, but what else is new? OH the US president is a dick… Trump, is that you? Low-key about Trump even though this finished filming before he became president! See, the president here is what I think of when I think of Southerners.

Okay so they’re going to Italy! And Eggsy is not going without Harry! Aw, look at my sons who are so in love with each other! Nice outfits boy! Aw, Harry can’t do too much field work because he’s still recuperating :( He couldn’t aim his watch thing, but a bang will do! BTW Colin actually knows Italian, so this is perfect! HAHA River! Lol I hate @Charlie but SHIT his gf got caught hahahah yikes… Oh no Harry is hallucinating again! And here come a crazy ride, which Pedro and Taron actually felt because Matthew Vaughn wants to make everything as realistic as possible! Because Matthew Vaughn is the devil!! Okay this is hella intense for not being a fight scene but also funny because of them yelling! Lol they stopped because of Eggsy pulling the parachute (tb to TSS) but it’s an American flag wow how American! And the old man said that was the best shit he’s had in a while, so I guessed it all worked out!

Okay cabin scene, Eggsy greets his bf again yay but THERE ARE SHOOTERS SHIT also nice @whiskey really cool fight scene and DIANA PRINCE 2.0! Okay Harry just shot Whiskey and oh no Eggsy don’t blame yourself! It’s not your fault, really it’s not! But don’t yell at Harry, he just saved your life with that cologne lmao… Okay I don’t like Eggsy being mad at Harry :( OH SHIT WUDDUP CHARLIE JUST BLEW UP HIS GF yikes sucks. Btw Merlin and Ginger working together is amazing, they are a new ship!

The president sucks pt. 2 (again, Trump?) Wow this human in cage thing is crazy, dystopian shit, actual yikes! Not to mention everybody has the “dancing disease” lmao! Look, merlehad! Haha so apparently Harry should know Merlin’s favorite singer but he doesn”t rip

Thought the lawyer was Merlin ngl

Ugh Eggsy is sad, Harry make him feel better! MARTINIS! Oh shit, this is going to be emotional. Eggsy talking about Tilde to Harry, but Harry loves him. And god, talking about when he was shot by Valentine. Not thinking of anything, anybody, because he never loved anybody… Brings me back to when he wanted to go back to his mother while he still had amnesia, who most likely passed away :( Please Harry Hart, I know you love Eggsy. Somebody love him. He says love is “worth living for”, and he lived for Eggsy.. WHAT IF HE thought of Eggsy when he was dying, but he didn’t say anything here because Eggsy had just told him that he has a gf SHIT SHIT SHIT no no please hartwin no 

Aw sorry Whiskey :( He lost his gf, but now he is vengeful… wow okay this is a lot

MERLIN IN A KINGSMAN SUIT! YES MERLIN, I LOVE YOU, YES YES YOU LOOK SO FINE!  And the machete is his haha! Wow a baseball and bat, so American.

And so we are here, Cambodia, and SHIT LAND MINE. No no no no, this is where it happens. WHY DOESN’T THE FROZEN THING HAVE MORE THAN 1 USE what kind of faulty fucking kingsman/statesman shit is that if it only has 1 use WHY DIDN’T YOU CARRY MORE MERLIN WHY YOU’RE SO STUPID NO SORRY YOU’RE NOT STUPID ILY BUT WHY   :(((( Merlin sacrificing himself for Harry and Eggsy, because he is fully devoted to Kingsman. Eggsy trying to hold back emotion, but Harry and Merlin fully knowing what being a Kingsman is. “No time for emotion” FUCK

OH GOD.TAKE ME HOME, COUNTRY ROADS! Merlin singing in his scottish accent, yelling out like he was meant to. God, why. Merlin, such a brilliant man, WHY. And he’s distracting Poppy’s men to save Eggsy and Harry! Okay, DENIAL! NO. Did you HEAR that last note?! Merlin braced himself and closed his eyes, but he might’ve not died! Merlin, Hamish, survived! His legs may have been blown off, but we will see him in the third movie, legless or not! I refuse to believe Merlin is dead.

Elton John as low-key performer/drag queen is my FAVORITE! It’s Wednesday FUCK YEAH! Oh, Eggsy and Harry look so vengeful, and they are perfect fighting together! Absolutely amazing! Eggsy taking Harry’s blind side is amazing, and their fighting impeccable. THE BITCH IS BACK ON THE MOVIE THEATER, YES INDEED! ELTON JOHN JUST HIT A MAN I LOVE HIM! Harry Hart, Eggsy Unwin, spy husbands fighting side by side!

Okay, bye @ dogs! ! WOW ELTON JOHN IS A FRIEND YES HAHA, okay low-key thought Elton John was going to say “If you save the world, we can do it in the asshole” to be Harry’s Tilde but he said “you can get backstage passes” which is the same thing OKAY GOD ELTON JOHN X HARRY HART NEW SHIP?? YES YAY wow he blew a kiss to him I’m dead this is so gay I love it harry hart fucked elton john 

Charlie can go die okay thanks bye. Okay the one arm thing is dumb, Eggsy you have an advantage use both arms lol, anyways YES FOR MERLIN, REMEMBER MERLIN EGGSY!

Okay last fights. Poppy is crazy pt. final!  Julianne Moore’s acting is AMAZING, really great! But um, viva las vegans? That’s dumb. Okay anyways OH SHIT BOI WHISKEY Harry Hart knew it! FINAL FIGHT SCENE and this is amazing! Absolutely amazing fight scene of spy husbands vs. Wonder Woman 2.0! Whiskey lost somebody because of drug addicts, man wow Kingsman really focuses on real issues, like the environment and drug addiction, but the villains are some crazy people! 

Okay, Harry Hart is absolutely amazing, and he can fight amazingly now! Also, Colin Firth doing most of his stunts is AMAZING! Still can’t get the fact that Eggsy fit through the lasso! This is like the church scene in TSS and I love it! Epic fighting scenes with gore x rock music is A+!

YAY WORLD SAVED! Everybody is back! And the president sucks, so YAY FEMALE PRESIDENT! I think this is @ the American govt. and Trump LOL wow I love this movie.

SCOTLAND WINE BY KINGSMAN FUCK… Rest in peace Merlin :(

YES, GINGER IS FIELD AGENT! Okay besides the Roxy thing and tracker going inside vagine thing, this is a feminist movie! Female president, female statesman agent! FUCK YEAH!

Harry Hart and Eggsy Unwin, once again together… but Eggsy is getting married which, let’s not think about. MIRROR SCENE PARALLEL TO TSS AHH I want Harry Hart and Eggsy Unwin to love each other, to cherish each other, even if Eggsy doesn’t know “what the fuck is going on.” Alas, denial is key. 

FINALLLY WE SEE EGGSY’S MUM WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WHOLE “come live with me” fiasco from TSS HMM ALSO WHERE IS DAISY @ Matthew Vaughn you owe us

Colin Firth’s monologue as Harry Hart made me realize, that I love Kingsman and will never get over it. It is only the beginning, and I can’t wait for more. This had so much emotion, despite it being so intense. RIP Kingsman agents, JB, Roxy, Merlin. Harry Hart, I love you. Hartwin, I will NEVER give up on you.

Oh boi Tequila is kingsman???? damn okay nice hat boi

FUCK

I’m going to cry at 2 am while singing Take Me Home, Country Roads (update: I DID CRY AT 2 AM)

F U C K !

If you read until the end, you are a TRUE Kingsman fan and true mutual/reader. Nice to know there are others out there who are just as crazy as me, but what can you do when you have such an amazing movie! 

[sttngfashion]

True Q - 6.06

Oh, Q, you rake, you scalawag. You’re so mischievous that you’ve snuck into one of these mostly-unis episodes like the scoundrel you are. Also I believe this episode title, much like Return of the King, contains a spoiler within the title. But we’ll get there.

“Don’t even try to out cheekbone me, girl. I’ll eat you for lunch.” —Bev

This blondie is Amanda Rogers (and boy does she look like an Amanda Rogers), and she’s an... intern? She’s 18 years old and is eventually supposed to go to Starfleet Academy but has somehow beat out a bunch of other youngsters for the opportunity to work on the Enterprise before she goes to study. She’s perky and a know-it-all and wears colors that must have been picked out by a girl who grew up idolizing Glinda the Good Witch. She’s rocking that square neck that we’ve seen before, but it’s doing a weird thing with that waffle undershirt she’s wearing, and I’m not convinced any of these colors works with her skin tone. 

RIKER, SHE IS EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD. Get out of her personal space.

Riker is showing her her quarters which, to be fair are pretty lush for someone who should be preparing for the horrors of dorm life. On the other hand this room is definitely not meant for youngsters.

Yes that is a tall skinny bottle of curaçao with matching glasses on the coffee table.

Anyway, after Riker is all up in her personal space, he leaves Amanda alone and suddenly... puppies appear. No, really.

Is it just me or is she wearing Jellies?

Who cares, PUPPOES! They are so floppy and foldy and adorbz central. (Side note: that desk chair is def from Staples.)

Behave? More like BeeHIVE, amirite?

I don’t really understand what is happening here as for most of the rest of the show her hair looks normal. Maybe her hair just got excited by the PUPPOOES!

So after these puppies mysteriously appear, she tells them to disappear, and they do, though kind of reluctantly. And that’s the end of the Teaser. That’s right: after the last puppy disappears, we get the DRAMATIC MUSIC because DISAPPEARING PUPPIES. I may have guffawed.

Okay, plotdump: later on, Amanda saves Riker from getting bonked on the head by a falling barrel or something, and then after that, stops a warp core breach with her hands. WHAAAAAT? Also, this is hand motion she makes when she saves Rikes.

Oooh, I love shadow animals! What is it... an elephant?

Anyway, because this GIRL has magically SAVED THE WHOLE GODDAMN SHIP there needs to be a MEETING.

“Her hooters were like, this big.” —Geordi

Sorry, sorry, I’m being base. Have Deanna’s eyebrows always looked like they were made out of smoke?

Obviously though, this meeting is dumb because we know who’s behind this.

Who decided to design the conference room chairs with an omnipotent douchebag recline setting?

I mean, you gotta give John de Lancie his due: no one can do all-powerful schmuck quite like he can. But he’s only wearing his “I’m crushing so hard on you, Picard” command red uni, so blah.

How’s the rest of the senior staff feel about Q’s arrival?

From left to right: not having it, pissed, I can’t believe this, are you kidding me, and uuugggghhhhhhhh

Everyone is earning their episode rate in this shot, but Beverly and Geordi are owning it.

So it turns out that this girl is Q, but Q has been sent to find out if she is TRUE Q. I think if she’d turned out not to be, the episode would be called True Q? or Untrue Q or FALSE Q. But you know now how it’s going to end.

Still, we have to go through the motions.

Okay, Q, now you’re really in her personal space.

I suppose there might be some perfect metaphor of discussing Q-privilege but frankly I don’t think I’m smart enough to do it.

OH NO NOT THE DECORATIVE PLATE AND BOWL!

Also it’s amazing the extent to which this is clearly a stunt double. Also also: no more decorative spotlight on the artifacts. The computer was able to sense what was coming, I guess.

I can’t remember exactly what happens here but Gates just looks so awesome and sassy that I had to put it in.

Sorry guys, it’s a low-fashion episode. Oh, but hey, here’s a fashion!

Ghost Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamsweater.

It’s hard to make out exactly what’s happening here, but as best I can see, from left to right again: block gray, block plum, block grape, block grilled peach, block mocha, AMAZING SWEATER OF ALL YOUR MOST BEAUTIFUL COLORFUL DREAAAAAMMMZ. 

These are Amanda’s parents, who it turns out were Q also? I can’t remember what the release of information is like in this episode but basically the Q Continuum MURDERED Amanda’s parents because they wanted to live in Nebraska or something. Which, like, that’s not nice, but also... Nebraska? They were killed by a freak tornado which was engineered by the Q but also IT COULD HAPPEN.

In other news, I have four nostrils and this one dope chain.

Also, this individual has Bea Arthur’s hair. I am 100% not mad at it.

Oh man, I’m really murdering the plot of this ep... these people need help of some sort and Amanda and Q are NOT HELPING. There’s a whole thing where Q wants to take Amanda on Q lessons and so they speed up some experiment that Bev has Amanda doing, but that ruins the experiment or something? I wanted to be like “listen, Q, either you’re doing omnipotence wrong or the writers are” but I love this show so I kept quiet.

What’s Q lessons mean, btw?

WE’RE STANDING ON THE BACK OF THE SHIIIIIIIP

So this is one of those shots that I have basically remembered pretty much exactly since childhood because WHAAAAAAAAT. Looking at it now I’m skeptical as to whether they’ve gotten the scale right, but I guess they’re Q so they can be big as they wanna be or whatever.

Speaking of other things they want.

Welcome to my weird Pride and Prejudice fantasy, complete with gazebo

I mean, everyone is entitled to their own fantasy, but you are wearing lacy pink things and the strangest tartan belt ever seen, and your hair seems to be fashioned after those vines growing up alongside that latticework. Who’s your Mr. Darcy?

WORLDS COLLIDING

Where to start? The velour jacket is great, but the fancy lapelwork there is something I’d more expect to see alongside the jacuzzi that Lwaxana Troi and Worf’s son Alexander were hanging out in. Really the only thing that’s okay about this scene is how uncomfortable Rikes looks in it.

Of course, since the first scene with Riker and Amanda we’ve all been feeling that if anyone is feeling some kind of way about anybody, it’s Riker for Amanda (ew). Still, though, he does the this is not appropriate routine, until she realizes the full potential of her Q-ness and makes him fall madly in love with her.

Disclaimer: I am a gay man. But what is happening to her breasts.

I mean, that just cannot be comfortable. Also, bless Frakes for being like “well, I guess the script calls for me to get all up on this 18 year old.” Anyway, she knows that it’s not real so is not into it. Unanswered question from the episode: DOES RIKER REMEMBER ANY OF THIS?

Okay, so basically it comes down to: does Amanda stay and finish her internship or does she go with Q to join the Continuum and basically become a god? Let’s take a look at Amanda one week after her internship starts:

This job has destroyed me

So first of all, why she gotta always wear unitards with weird textured minidress operations on top? Second of all, though, at least this color is not quite so bubble-gum flavored. This is a lima bean and overdone spinach combination here, which, okay, not super appetizing, but at least she doesn’t look like she just jumped off the Candyland gameboard. Also, those tendrils of hair! That’s how you know she is not playing around anymore.

This planet is burnt

Listen, you guys, some other stuff happens, but I had several glasses of wine while watching FEUD so I’m just gonna wrap it up with this little side-by-side: this is the planet 4-nostrils Bea Arthur was from and that the Enterprise was trying to help, and Q is basically like “Amanda, if you can stop using your Q powers then you don’t have to come be part of the Continuum, oh but here’s a planet with a whole lot of people that are about to die, SHRUG.”

I mean, of course she saves it. The show didn’t have enough budget for an intern character.

UGH FINE I GUESS I’LL GO BE A GOD.

Still, she gotta say goodbye.

“Good luck girl, but don’t ever come for me the way Q comes for Jean-Luc. Because I will own you so hard.” —Bev

Have a great week, everybody! 

[tessatechaitea]

Suicide Squad #17

In Russia, Zod kneels before you. Shit. I think I have to turn in my writing card now.

All the best covert organizations have headquarters behind waterfalls.

When are we going to get the Nightwing comic book where he goes undercover in an international construction company that builds super villain secret headquarters? Think of all the crime that can be stopped before the villain even has a place to sit backwards in a chair facing a bunch of monitors while stroking a cat! Zod is introduced falling out of a helicopter with the rest of the squad as he screams the thing you expect him to scream. It's hilarious because that's what Zod or people hearing the name Zod always say! He doesn't seem particularly upset that he's been enslaved. As long as he has the illusion of freedom (which he only has due to his delusional nature or why else would he explain to Amanda that he serves no one while doing what he's told?), I suppose he can't get too upset. Besides, he gets to kill people! That's a pretty sweet perk. The Squad have come to destroy the Annihilation Brigade. They're Russia's version of the Suicide Squad. Maybe. I mean, if that's true, why are they located in Zimbabwe? Is it only because there are no famous waterfalls in Russia? I mean, there might be! But only waterfall nerds have probably heard of them! Whew. Now nobody will dare to say I look ignorant by my lack of international waterfall knowledge because they'll be too embarrassed to admit they're a waterfall nerd! The first member of the Annihilation Brigade to die is Tunguska. I first heard of the incident at Tunguska due to In Search Of. That was my favorite show as a kid.

"Zod will invent the ways"? That doesn't make any sense. Unless one of the ways Zod just invented was ramming his boner through Tunguska's liver. I mean, why else is Tunguska screaming like that? I doubt it's due to Zod's breath.

Coming to Tunguska's rescue are his colleagues, Cosmonut and Tankograd. Cosmonut has the power of silly typos while Tankograd has the powers of a city made of tanks. I understand why Cosmonut wears a space uniform while the only thing he can say is a picture of a peanut. But why does he have a head shaped like a hammer? If there's one nut that doesn't need some kind of tool to crack it, it's the peanut! They should have called it the pussnut. Meanwhile in Belle Reve, Harcourt has realized her jigs are up and begins slaughtering people. Amanda probably knew this would happen and didn't warn all the techies because Amanda is a fucking asshole. The advertisement for the King Arthur movie still makes me laugh out loud every time I see it. Who the fuck are these people making movies in Hollywood?! I'm surprised King Arthur doesn't have huge fucking ear gauges in that ad. Um, anyway, Harcourt reports back to The People before setting the self-destruct code on Belle Reve. Fucking self-destruct codes. It's like one lazy fucking hack writer somewhere in the past needed a quick and easy way to threaten the lives of the heroes while also allowing for the utter annihilation of the bad guys so that asshole invented the idea of a self-destruct mechanism built into the evil organization's headquarters. And it was such an easy way to advance the plot and add tension, other lazy hack writers decided to use the premise until it became something audiences stopped questioning. I wouldn't mind if all of our homes were rigged with self-destruct codes just in case a guest stays too long or some Mormon missionaries ride up on their bikes to discuss Christ's new world message. The Suicide Squad discover that The People's compound behind Victoria Falls is their version of Belle Reve. It's full of imprisoned super-powered people with bombs in their brains. Does the Suicide Squad really need to confront an organization that holds up a mirror to their organization so that they suddenly see all of its flaws? I think they already knew how shitty it was. They don't really need a lesson to get them thinking, "Hey! I don't think Amanda Waller has our best interests at heart at all!"

You're right, Floyd. You aren't the Teen Titans. You do more good than they do.

Tunguska blows up, killing everybody. Everybody except the people labeling under the delusion that they're job is so dangerous that they might as well just kill themselves. They never die. They teleport away along with Cosmonut because he's obviously the best prisoner to interrogate.

"Who is behind this?!"

Later in Belle Reve, Amanda confronts Harcourt before she can escape. Remember how I mentioned how Amanda was a huge fucking asshole because she didn't warn the techies earlier?

She's even worse than that! She's also lucky Harcourt didn't kill two techies with one bullet!

Harcourt is a terrible spy. One of the first things they learn is to tell how many bullets are in the clip of your gun simply by weight! Probably. I mean, I'd definitely teach that course if I were running a Spy Community College Program. Captain Boomerang kills Harcourt before she can tell Amanda that Boomer killed Hack. Oh, also before Harcourt can kill Amanda. I just mentioned them in order of importance. I still don't know why Boomer killed Hack but since he liked her, it must have been mind control. Or else that self-loathing I mentioned earlier that he's full of. In the epilogue, Cosmonut is interrogated and Amanda learns what a peanut looks like when spoken. Rick Flag sucks on Harley's finger which, according to earlier issues, was probably just inside his asshole. And Zod speaks with his cohorts inside the Black Vault (probably Faora and that dumb oaf) before attempting to do brain surgery on himself with his heat vision and a mirror. That totally makes sense, right? His heat vision is powerful enough to cut into his own Kryptonian brain but not powerful enough to shatter a mirror. Because light or something! I really need to dig up Ostrander's run on this thing and reread that. Although I might be severely disappointed. I was pretty young when I read and loved it. What if my raging cynicism, cultivated from years of life constantly trying to put me in the ground and my existential terror of just about every mundane task civilization expects out of adults, make me realize it was actually terrible?! Hmm. Now I really want to reread it!