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anothertimdrakestan · 4 years ago

Text

Just Hold Me Tonight - Tim Drake x Reader

Words: 1.1k

Requested? Yes! From a lovely anon!

“Hello! I saw your post about PTSD and it’s really heart warming. I suffer from anxiety and I get really panicky. Could you do 9 and 21 for the reader with Tim where it’s a rough night, I don’t know if you have experience with anxiety but I love your writing so I thought I’d request it. Thanks! ” (9. can you just hold me tonight? 21. please stop crying baby)

LINK TO PROMPTS -> REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN!

Hello angel, this request absolutely made my day. I try to be really open but it is hard, I have PTSD, anxiety and ADHD but I believe they make me stronger not weaker. I’ve had my fair share of panic attacks so I decided to do one of those because I think Tim would be really comforting. I really hope you enjoy and that this gives you a piece of my perspective and experience with mental health <3.

TW FOR MENTIONS OF TRAUMA AND LIGHT DESCRIPTIONS

It was nights like this you hated living in Gotham. You’d taken an apartment in the best area in Gotham as to avoid the noise. Not anything in specific, the noise. Gunshots, screaming, and anything else that goes bump in the night. The night you told Tim broke his heart. After a wonderful evening together he invited you to swing with him through the streets, he promised to perch you on a building so you could watch him live out his passion. But you knew you couldn’t do it, not yet, maybe not ever. So you sat him down, and explained, not too much, because the details are painful, but enough. You were enough. And Tim wouldn’t let you forget it. “Y/N, love, it means a lot that you told me, I’m sorry.” you noticed how angry Tim looked, after hearing your story his hands were shaking and it was your turn to comfort him. You reminded him he was so young, he couldn’t have saved you and that you were a strong, independent woman.

And to your delight, nothing changed. Tim didn’t treat you like a piece of broken glass that would fracture in his hands because you were strong, and he loved you for it. But some nights you really did just need his presence, because he reminded you of what was good in the world. When fear crept in, and everything seemed out to find and hurt you Tim was there, sometimes he came in the Red Robin suit, you loved the way the reds and shadows danced around his body, he was the embodiment of a hero, your hero. You knew his exact routine for taking off the suit. Utility belt, cape, shoes, exterior suit, body armor, new shirt on, pants, put on new shorts, and finally the mask. Back when he wore the condom hat you’d giggle at his mask-hair but the domino mask was your personal favorite. You could tell the relief he got in peeling it off, and the first thing his eyes met was you.

You were usually curled up in the corner of your bed, you always kept it in the corner of your room because the walls reminded you that you were alive. You’d make yourself as small as possible, and reach for your phone. Shooting Tim the alert message asking that if he was free you wouldn’t mind his company. And that was all he needed. He’d come through your window, unlocking it with a key you’d placed on it so only he could get in. He’d start pulling off the suit if he was wearing it, and begin scanning the room for you. Tim always started with soft words and tonight was no different.

“Hey love, how’s it going tonight? Real fancy seeing you here!” you could feel a smile grace your lips but the buzzing didn’t stop. Giving him a small nod to come forward you shifted, letting him plop down in the bed next to you. “Oh babe are you crying? No, please, I’m here.” you let him scoop you up and pull you in close, feeling his hands swipe tears away from your cheeks. You didn’t talk yet, not ready to open up your heart. “Please stop crying baby I’m here, I’m right here Y/N, it’s okay.” Tim’s voice was filled with nothing but love and adoration, and you felt the tendrils of fear sneak back.

“Hey Timmy” you whispered, your hands were still shaking but Tim held them, his warmth spreading to you. “Mhm so how’s your night going?” you loved his humor, poking his chest. “I think you know goof” he feigned innocence, the hand you’d let go was swirling patterns on your back while he held you. “Soooo want me to tell you about patrol?” you nodded, stories of his heroism always made you feel better.

“So tonight I’m with Damian, Bruce just started letting us fly solo but the punk likes to give me a hard time because Bruce always says I’m in charge. So I decided tonight to give him a lil fright. We’re out about halfway through a slow patrol. So as he’s swinging through the buildings I turned around. Kid flipped out it was hilarious. Saying something about my ‘incompetent ass falling mid grapple’ but then I didn’t come back and he genuinely got scared! Like the kid has feelings it was almost heartening except that he’s a demon. Ah! There we go, my favorite girl giving that award winning smile” you blushed, Tim still made you feel butterflies with his horrible pickup lines and dorky smiles, and you loved it.

“I know Damian has feelings, he loves his pets! And I think he really likes me.” your voice was growing stronger, fingers now playing with his hair. “Little D loves you Y/N. Imagine being so unlucky that your family loves your wife more than you. It’s sooo hard on me” you groaned, trying to hold back another smile. Tim always called you his wife or Y/N Drake-Wayne, he said why wait for the officials he knew you were his person. “Yes that’s gotta be really hard Timbers I’m so sorry” you tried to fake pout and he scrunched his nose at you.

And just like that, the storm had dissipated. Now it was just you and Tim, no large nasty grim reaper standing in the other corner of your room. Just your dork boyfriend who was trying to teach you phrases in elvish so he could tell you that you were sexy in front of Bruce. “So you wanna get up? Movie night? Take out?” your hand fell to his cheek, pulling him in for the first kiss of the night. “How about you just hold me tonight?” and he kissed you back, “absolutely love” and he winked at you.

“Y/N, love, if it were up to me I’d be holding you for the rest of my life”

“That’s nice Timmy but say it in elvish”

“Mel, im anír- na gar- cin an anand”

“Oh my god it was a joke you nerd” Tim grinned like an idiot and leaned in to kiss your nose. “I’m your nerd angel!”

“Dork.”

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bestsportmedia · 3 years ago

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I’m still in disbelief Leo is not a fcb player anymore. Bruh saurez had a better farewell at least his wasn’t in some dark corner of a press conference room. How could this happen? What’s wrong with the media team at barca? Also I agree I think Leo just wanted to leave ASAP. This is not adding up there is so much more going on behind the scenes.

Anonymous asked: “I don’t think Laporta was 100% honest about what happened… there is more to the story.” Admin there is definitely more to the story. I hope one day we find out what really happened. They way Messi was rushed out is one of the biggest football shocks of the decade. His farewell (I wouldn’t even call it that) was rushed. My guess is that he really feels betrayed and angry after all he’s done for the club they couldn’t keep him. So he decided if he leaves it’s best he leaves ASAP. Part 2) even during today’s press conference he said he was grateful how quickly Psg were able to make the contract. ( he repeated this too) I think he really did want to leave ASAP.

Anonymous asked: This is the biggest transfer in history. What’s worse is the whole reason it happened was Barcelona ran out of money. This is just embarrassing to the club it’s always gonna be remembered the reason why he left. I’m still in disbelief how a multi million dollar company with 100m followers can be in this situation. Biggest shock in the world of football. No one saw this coming a week ago.

Anonymous asked:

This is the biggest transfer in history. What’s worse is the whole reason it happened was Barcelona ran out of money. This is just embarrassing to the club it’s always gonna be remembered the reason why he left. I’m still in disbelief how a multi million dollar company with 100m followers can be in this situation. Biggest shock in the world of football. No one saw this coming a week ago.

Anonymous asked:

There is so much more to the story. I don’t believe this. I honestly think that Laporta and co knew how bad things were from the beginning and that la liga was going to deny them. But they still went through the motions. There’s more to this. I mean look how quick anto unfollowed the club she is clearly angry. It looked like Leo wanted to get out Fast too he so was happy and grateful that Psg made it so easy for him. He mentioned it in multiple interviews. I wonder what really went down

I think the Barca media team was in a shock. They weren't prepared at all. They were posting video and photos that prepared for renewal announcement. We don't know really know happened but imo there was lack of planning ahead (on both side). Messi has done a lot for Barcelona & the club have also done a lot for him. Sad it ended like this.

Anonymous asked:

You were right fcb needs a damn reality show 😂 soooo much drama. Antonela did really unfollow the club. And the new players still not registered. Kun can’t play till October. And what’s with pique? He seems to be having a midlife crisis now that Messi gone. Damn all of this is crazy. Makes me really happy to see psg and fans going above and beyond welcoming at least. Still in shock the club ran out of money. I don’t think I can ever believe that a multi million company like barca going bankrup

hahaha Pique and his selfies. It’s very easy for companies to go bankrupt.

Anonymous asked:

I never imagined messi would leave barca. Especially in the way he did In a press conference wearing a suit with a room filled with people wearing face masks. If you showed me the images years ago I would be like wtf is this movie? This is just crazy admin I’m still In disbelief I’m still waiting for the farewell. Can’t believe his farewell was in a basketball court. Imagine 1 or 2 years early you would come here and say messi and ramos are teammates and at PSG. And post a video of them

Anonymous asked:

Over a year who would of thought messi would leave Barcelona and wearing a face mask😂 people in history gonna look back at pictures and know about the virus. It’s kind of funny because now all the masks we are so used to at this point. But if you told me this before i would of thought it’s not normal.

Strange times. ya that welcome was good. I mean its messi! he deserves it all.

Anonymous asked:

I wish” (kind of! Bartomeu was still here so people could blame him. He ran. It’s not fair he created the problem but Laporte is the one who getting blamed and getting rage from people in cataluna. I feel like Bartomeu dogded this issue without any repercussions, he escaped

He released statement saying Laporta could have signed messi if he followed his strategy. Which kinda make sense but idk

Anonymous asked:

Did y'all see the video of Leo greeting Laporta before the press conference? it was a cold exchange. The farewell was rushed and Leo seemed like he wanted to get out there ASAP” I noticed too there’s more to the story. antonella in the behind the scenes fawell video she told Laporte him to move inside. She looked mad at him it was at three minute mark

Yes, I saw it. She looked angry especially when you compare it to her interaction with the psg president

Anonymous asked:

Same I don’t understand why last minute. Couldn’t they try to sign earlier. Did they not want to ruin his vaction or sum

Bad time management lol

Anonymous asked:

Admin how are you feeling? right now I just feel so defeated what’s the point of even supporting barcelona when our administration is filled with people who gave us debts. Im still confused so they not have professional lawyers, economist, educated financial advisers to prevent this. I’m shocked like what else could be coming? Although I have these thoughts I’m still always gonna support the team in good and in the bad moments. I hope fans who leave don’t come back when la Masia comes through.

Bad time management lol. They are fake fans. and oh they will come back when things get better. That’s what fake fans do lol

Anonymous asked:

Do you think Laporta lied the entire time? He knew that he couldn’t sign him? I think he didn’t fully disclose the deep terrible situation the club is in and led him and his family on till last minute. I don’t think he ever had plans to except the CVC deal as he never accepted it before this. I feel like it’s an excuse.

Anonymous asked:

The 9 million for depay and other money/wages for signings. Couldn’t that of got to Messi? I just don’t belive this it’s unbelievable a club like barcelona have people to know ahead of time if a contract would get rejected. The have people who hired to know this. They way the announced and the farewell has me suspicious

I can’t tell you if lied (or not) to Leo but he sure lied to the fans. He was tell us that things were going well. My question, whose idea was it to wait till last minute i mean few days before new season starts? why wasn’t his agent pushing for the contract to be signed earlier than that? I understand his entourage trust FCB but this is new board and it’s well know that the club is in bad situation financially. Laporta and Co betrayed him but also his agent failed him. Remember last summer? he had clause that let him leave on free transfer but the clause has deadline. He couldn't leave because his agent sent the burofax past the deadline.

Anonymous asked:

Did you know pochetino was there when Leo made his debut In 2004. He was a player at the time. crazy how life circles back.

He was Espanyol player right? That’s amazing lol

Anonymous asked:

For the anon- they can’t keep leos image up because of the contract. Image right belongs to Paris rn that’s why they are posting him all over insta

Anonymous asked:

They can’t have Messi at camp nou or anywhere associated with the club because psg has image rights. That’s is a big portion of the contract

Thank you guys. @anon

#this is long #annonymous #messi leaves FCB #messi to psg

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ccsthemovie2 · 4 years ago

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Character: Syaoran Li?

THANK YOU, THIS GOT SOOOO LONG SO ITS UNDER A CUT. clear card post anime cutoff spoilers alluded to, but not said.

Why I like them:

absolute nervous wreck of a kid who INSISTS he is the caretaker for EVERYBODY ELSE. but you look at him walking around running from ppl he has crushes on like uhm are u sure about that. hes got a heart of gold! also, clear card wise, its endearing to me that he tries so so so hard to do the right thing that he horseshoes into doing the worst possible thing. says a lot about him being 13 and messy and scared, and a lot about the way moving away from all his friends affects him :’’)

Why I don’t:

i dont like when the story tries to position him as sakura’s protector/‘knight’, the person who’s gonna make it all okay for her even if she doesnt know about it/without her permission........ liiii bby has anyone ever explained the moral of utena to you in a child friendly way. you gotta see yourself as EQUAL to the one you love. and i think he mostly does, or...does when he’s at his best? i dont mind him slipping into this, i guess, so much as i mind the story telling me its a good impulse for him to act on.

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

if we can all pretend the bit of “youre just magically confused” biphobia doesnt exist for a moment, the entire scene concept of AN ANGEL FROM HEAVEN DESCENDING TO REJECT YOU ON BEHALF OF YOUR CRUSH, ALSO THE LAST TIME U SPOKE HE PUNCHED YOU is incredibly funny. ALSO, all the early eps where he helps sakura calm down and think even tho he barely knows her. ALSO ALSO, him helping her with changing light and dark at the end of the original anime... NOW THATS WHAT I CALL TEAMWORK 👏

Favorite season/movie:

i loveeeee his arc in clear card......... love to ignore the storys handling of it and project my own thoughts and feelings on the events. also early early li is the BEST.

Favorite line:

THE THINGS THAT I AM ABOUT TO TELL YOU MIGHT UNSETTLE YOU. NO....MORE THAN THAT.........YOU MIGHT EVEN GET ANGRY......

Favorite outfit:

THE YUKATA SAKURA SEWED FOR HIM OBVIOUSLYYYYY .... LOVE IS STORED.......IN THE HANDMADE GIFTS!!!

OTP:

ok sakusyao is like, a little bit overhyped probably. but it got that way for a REASON. it was a hard sell on me as a kid but now im like okay i get it. clear card helps a lot, i love a good “i messed up SOOO BAD but we still want to work to make things right” story

Brotp:

him and meiling!!! and the awkward but loving familyship building between him and kero and yue.......... and of course, my EVIL brotp: whatever happened over sixth grade to get him and eriol into cahoots like that. you can really like, see the moments over sakura card arc anime of it all clicking into place for eriol that he’s a GREAT person to sink his claws into, the perfect mix of gullible and loving and desperate, and most importantly, from a long line of people who think clow is super cool. and once he moves back to hong kong, away from his friends and gf, “its free real estate” i guess

Head Canon:

i think he and sakura should grow past the bears and make something else together at the end of clear card........maybe those pillows with the fringed edges you make by tying together or something ;w; or even new stuffed animals!

also this is more of an observation but i think what he needs to realize is that the reason he insists on ppl needing to feel calm and supported to act in a crisis is bc HE needs it, bc HE gets panicky and nervous and cant make calm choices when there’s a problem. and theres people all around him who WOULD be that for him, and who already ARE, even, he just needs to like....accept that :’’)

Unpopular opinion:

"xiaolang” lmao. when i did a recent groupwatch with friends thats what their subs had or something so i just was in that space for a bit and it stuck

A wish:

i actually would have loved to see him and sakura break up over certain clear card events and then get back together at the end?

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen:

dramatic self sacrifice for the sake of drama lolll

5 words to best describe them:

run rly fast from feelings

My nickname for them:

son boy allowed

#oh god thats so many words i hope they make sense #ask

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horansqueen · 5 years ago

Text

AM Conversations : chapter 29

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -5.3k. (yep longer chapter but it was needed) -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- thanks for being patient btw! i work a lot these days and will work even more in the next few weeks (until halloween) so i may not update as often as i’d like. :(

- note for this chapter: remember the first part is exactly like the last chapter but from HER pov. longer chapter. yes i used that song, sue me. was it too quick? not emotional enough? too meh? next chapter will be from his pov and ill try to write the process and what happened in his head to get this conclusion. that way you can understand him and where his decision comes from. shit i really hope this reached expectations, damn.

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 29 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I hadn't seen Niall in over two days and it was saddening me. I missed him more than I wanted to admit, even to myself, but at the same time, I knew he was spending most of his time with his girlfriend and I didn't want to bother their alone time. Plus, I didn't want to witness anything anymore. That time spent in Niall's living room watching them cuddle and kiss was haunting me. Yes, I was jealous, because Maya really had everything I ever wanted, including Niall, and it was hurting me more than I could ever admit.

Harry had texted me a few times and we had a few intense discussions about our relationship but also about the friendship we could have. I couldn't lie and pretend the feelings I had for him when we dated had disappeared or that I was completely healed but I was ready to try and that was all it took for us to schedule a movie night.

When I opened the door, I looked up in his eyes as my heart twisted in my chest. I had seen him not that long ago, it had only been a few weeks... was he always that tall? His lips had curled into a fond but amused smile and mine sort of did the same. Harry was the same man i knew, the same man I dated, and I was not sure I could only be his friend but it was worth a try.

I felt bad but I didn't know what else to do so I ended up bringing a blanket on the couch and sat close to him as we watched a movie and ate popcorn and candies. We always did that when we were together and it should feel awkward to do it now that we were over but I liked it. I missed affection and an other human's touch and Harry was a soft and affectionate person. I loved it.

"So, how are things between you and Niall?" he wondered, still staring at the screen as a romantic scene started.

I glanced at him and shrugged, leaning against the back of the couch and bringing my legs up.

"Okay, I guess." I replied before putting a few candies in my mouth. "He's splitting his time between Maya and I and I miss him but I guess there's not much I can do about it."

Harry quickly grabbed the remote and turned the volume down before turning his body my way, facing me. I frowned, giving him my full attention, and for some reason I knew he was going to give me a speech I had heard before.

"It's time, don't you think?" he asked, raising his eyebrows and bringing his hand to my knee. "It's been so long, Liv. You can't hide your feelings forever."

I felt myself get sad suddenly and although I was tired to hear people tell me I had to tell Niall how I felt, I knew they were right and that i had waited way too long. I looked down at his hand on my knee, trying to avoid his eyes. I focused on the way his thumb rubbed gently against the fabric of my pants and raised one shoulder up.

"I don't want to lose him." I admitted in a low tone. "If he finds out he's gonna leave."

I felt Harry's finger under my chin and he moved my face up. We stared at each other for a while and I could feel tears coming to my eyes. I knew I was way too emotional but I couldn't help it. I was scared. Scared like I had never been before, and the thought of losing my best friend again was driving me insane, especially if it was my fault. It also felt like it would hurt even more if he left because of my feelings for him.

"I know Liv, I know you're scared."

I swallowed hard, a bit surprised that he had noticed and feeling like he actually read my mind. The tone of his voice was soft and knowing that Harry cared about me even after what had happened between us made my heart twist.

"But if you-"

The bell rang and I jumped slightly before closing my eyes. I didn't want to answer. I had the annoying feeling it was Niall and I was not ready, especially not after that short discussion with Harry. I was not ready to hear him mention Maya, even if he barely ever did. I was not ready to face him and feel all those feelings I have for him flood my whole body and mind the way it always did recently, whenever he was around.

I felt Harry's hand squeeze my knee and opened my eyes, meeting his gaze. With a fond smile, he made a quick head movement in the door's direction and I sighed, pushing the blanket away and getting up to press the button that unlocks the front door. As I waited in front of my door, I felt my heart jump at the thought of Niall and Harry interacting again. I hadn't mentioned anything to Niall yet, but it was not like something was happening between Harry and I.

The knock at the door made my heart jump again but this time, I had to swallow it. I opened the door slightly, meeting Niall's smiling face, and I could swear my whole body relaxed suddenly. No one else had that effect on me.

“Hey, sorry I didn’t call.” he apologized, licking his lips and making my eyes drop to them. “Can I come in?”

“Uhm, yea, of course.”

Now that he was there, I didn't want him to leave, but I could feel my whole body shaking for a reason I ignored. He looked happy, excited even, and I always found it endearing to see him that way. This time, though, it felt weird and I didn't know why. It felt like something was going to happen and sensing it made everything almost intolerable. He started saying something but stopped right in the middle of his sentence. I was a bit lost in my thoughts but when he mentioned Harry's name, I remembered I was not alone. I was not sure it was a good thing but when Niall was there, It always felt like there was only the two of us.

When my best friend turned to me, I saw a bunch of emotions surge on his face and they passed so quick I couldn't remember or decipher all of them. I thought I saw surprise? Sadness? Anger?

"Wow, really?" he asked rudely, even though I knew it was rhetorical. "Him? Here?"

I frowned, shrugged and looked away before looking back in his eyes. I was lost, sad, and not really sure what exactly was wrong with the fact that Harry and I were friends, except that I knew Niall and him were not on best terms because of me.

“You didn’t even think to tell me that you two were spending time together?” he continued in an angry way. “You didn’t think to mention that you wanted to try again with him or that you had feelings for him again? What am I to you? Are we even still best friends?”

My eyes got bigger in surprise. Did the fact that I wouldn't tell him every single detail of my life meant that we were not best friends anymore? What would he do if he found out I kept this incredibly huge secret from him all these years?

“Niall, it’s not what you-”

“No, wait.” he cut me, leaving me motionless, my lips parting. “I come here to tell you I dumped Maya and I find you cuddling Harry?”

He shook his head, scoffed and turned around, clearly annoyed as he pulled on his hair. But all I could think about was that he had broken up with Maya. He was not with her anymore and it didn't matter why. I felt my whole body vibrate and I teared up. It was so wrong to be happy because of someone else's misfortune, I knew it, but I couldn't help it. I was ecstatic.

“It’s really not what you think, Niall.”

I held my breath when I heard Harry's voice. I had almost forgotten that he was there, silently witnessing Niall's break down and my embarrassment, but the fact that he added something seemed to piss Niall off even more.

“He’s right.” I let out with a small shrug. “And we weren’t cuddling.”

He turned to me quickly and faced me, making me hold my breath.

“Don’t lie to me, I have two functioning eyes!”

“Oh my god Niall calm down!”

The words escaped my mouth and I felt bad for a few seconds as he took a step back. I could have slapped him and he would probably have had the same reaction. I barely noticed Harry getting up and telling me he was leaving but i nodded and instinctively smiled. It seemed to take forever until he was gone. I could still hear him walk down the stairs on the other side of the door but all I could focus was Niall. We were staring at each other intensely and all I repeated in my head was 'I love him' over and over again, the words hitting my brain in a throbbing sensation, kind of like a hammer.

I breathed in, pushing locks of my hair behind my ears and brought my arms around my body as if I was trying to protect myself but I was not sure from what. From him? From being hurt? From.. myself? I breathed in and out a few times, trying to remain calm because I knew this conversation could turn wrong and I didn't want to.

“Harry and I are just friends, Niall, that’s all.” I explained again, waiting a few seconds before I continued. “I’m not getting back with him, Niall.”

“You know what? I don’t believe you!”

I thought my words and tone would calm him down but the truth was, he seemed even more pissed than before Harry left. I didn't know why, I didn't seem to understand, and I had no idea how to reassure him more.

“Why?” I wondered, taking a step closer to him. “I won’t go back with him!”

“And why wouldn’t you go back with him mm?” his voice raised and he threw his arms up. “He’s perfect, he clearly still has feelings for you and you two didn’t really have any reason to break up.”

Of course I hadn't told Niall that the reason Harry broke up with me was because he knew I had feelings for Niall. I had kept this an other secret and whenever he would ask, I told him I didn't want to talk about it, resulting in him thinking there was actually no valid reason. I knew I should tell him but I also knew I didn't have the courage to.

“Because… that’s not how it works, Nee.” I replied, shaking my head and avoiding his eyes as I tried not to get too mad.

It was not easy. I couldn't believe he was not seeing it. I couldn't believe he didn't want to see it. It made me mad in a way I couldn't explain. The kind of anger that makes you want to cry until you're completely dry. I was tired that he'd doubt me when I loved him so much. I was tired to have to share him when I was all his. I was so fucking tired to love him without getting anything back in return.

“WHY?”

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU OKAY!?”

Silence fell between us but I suddenly felt myself become lighter. My heartbeats came back to a normal pace as if my heart had been beating harder than it should have had in the past weeks. I could feel hope and warmth invade my whole body and although I hated myself for it, I also felt better, way better than I had felt in months... years, even. I hadn't realized how heavy this secret was before letting it out.

“What?”

His voice was low and I could hear fear.

“I love you Niall. I’m in love with you.” I let out, swallowing hard but realizing the lump I used to have in my throat wasn't there anymore. “I’ve always been. Since the day I found out what love was, I knew the love of my life was you. I didn’t stop loving you, not even half a second. It’s always been you, and no one else.”

“That makes… no sense.” he expressed in a murmur, taking a step back and making me bite my bottom lip gently.

“Except it makes all the sense in the world, Niall, don’t you think?” My voice was just as low, if not lower, but I knew he could hear me perfectly. He was focused on me the same way I was concentrating on him. “Don’t you think we make sense?”

“As best friends, yea.” he said a little louder, now completely calm. “As.. maybe a bit more than that, sure. We make sense as ambiguous best friends that people question, okay, I get that.”

I don't think he realized what he was saying but to me, it meant exactly that. We were best friends that were more than best friends. We were best friends that were meant to be with each other. Not many people keep childhood friends in their life while being just as close to them as they always were. Did he not see that our relationship was unique? Or was I imagining all this? No, he just didn't see it. He didn't want to see it. And it hit me that I was right. I was going to lose him because he didn't love me. He didn't love me even if everyone tried to convince me that he did.

“But Olivia, you and I? As a couple?” he shook his head and shrugged as if it meant nothing. “No, it doesn’t make sense. It wouldn’t work.”

I had a million thoughts running in my mind normally but since Niall got here, I could only think about my love for him. That's all that seemed to matter. It was obsessing me. I looked up at him after a few seconds and licked my lips.

“Do you love me, Niall?”

I watched him as he literally closed right in front of me, putting his hands in his pockets and withdrawing into himself. He was trying to find a way to answer me without hurting me, I knew it. I knew Niall so well it was scary yet beautiful. This story, I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

“You always ask me that question. My answer is still the same.”

I took an other step closer and tilted my head more. He knew what I meant, and I wanted him to answer me. I needed to hear it, no matter what the answer would be. It was too late anyway, I couldn't go back, and if I wanted to be honest, I didn't want to go back.

“I mean real love.”

I was very close to him, now, and I tilted my head up to look in his eyes. My head was throbbing with fear yet I felt calm and serene as I waited. He looked down in my eyes and I told myself that no one else looked that good from that angle. Niall always looked good. He also smelled good, so good that it made me slightly dizzy. His eyes roamed on my face and I held my breath, enjoying the way he was looking at me. I knew I didn't look like the kind of girl he dated, liked or fucked, but love was more than that, right? Love was not physical, it was emotional, mental.. it came from the soul, the heart, from deep inside. He brought his hand up and his fingertips brushed on my cheek. It felt so amazing I had to stop myself from tearing up. His thumb rubbed gently on my cheekbone and my eyes fluttered a bit. I wanted to cry and I was not even sure why.

“I can’t.” his hand slipped from my face as he took a step back and my heart stopped. “I’m sorry.”

He turned around, his back facing me, and it seemed like I was too far from him now. I almost forgot how to breathe.

“Niall…”

He didn't move. He just shook his head.

“I’m sorry.”

I watched him grab the knob and open the door before leaving and i couldn't tell how long I stayed motionless, just staring at the spot he was in, after he left. And just like that, the lump was back in my throat and the heavy feeling was smothering me again.

----

It took me a few days to realize that Niall wouldn't call or try to get in contact with me. I had avoided phone calls even thought Julie, Liam, Harry and even Louis had tried to talk to me. I was just not ready to face anyone and I didn't want them to tell me that Niall would eventually come back or worse, that they felt sorry for me. It's only after about two weeks of loneliness that I heard a knock at my door. I thought it was one of my neighbors since no one had rang before and I opened the door without thinking. Had it been too long since I saw an other human (excluding the chinese delivery guy)? Perhaps, but when I saw who was on the other side, I regretted answering.

Louis sent me a grin and leaned against the door frame as I stared at him. We were not really close and it was a bit surprising to see him but I didn't ask anything. I just raised my eyebrows and tilted my head, trying to push away the hope inside me that it had something to do with Niall.

"Can I help you?"

He grabbed the cigarette behind his ear and handed it to me but I just shook my head before he put it between his lips.

"Can I come in?" he asked after lighting it up and taking a puff. "We need to talk."

"We can talk here." I just answered a bit roughly, making him chuckle.

"Why so wild?" he wondered, amused.

I sighed and tried to calm myself, shrugging a shoulder.

"I don't know, I guess i'm trying to get rid of everything that makes me think of Niall or that links me to him, which includes you."

"I'm not Niall, you should remember that." he pointed out. "And you and I are friends, independently of him, so be prepared to find a fucking great friend in me, Liv."

I wanted to be pissed but the truth was, I could see myself in Louis and he was entertaining. Plus, I couldn't push away everyone, and apparently some of them were stubborn and persistent. No matter why Louis was here for, I knew that in the end, i'd do what he'd ask me to. I was ready to resist but it was inevitable.

"What do you want, 'Tommo'?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and making him laugh at the nickname his friends give him.

"Good, you're a fast learner." he smirked, pulling again on his cigarette. "See, we're going out for my birthday tonight, and you're formally invited."

I frowned, knowing deep down that it was a fucking bad idea but considering it anyway. I was tired to be alone and even worse, to drink alone. Perhaps doing it with a few friends would help me get some things off my mind.

I turned to look at the window, watching snowflakes fall gently and slowly in front of it and I let out a sigh.

"I don't know, Louis, I have nothing to wear anyway."

"Liv, it's a bar, not a ball." he expressed, raising his eyebrows. "A pair of jeans and your converse and you're ready to go. Unless you want to do something with your hair."

I rolled my eyes and grimaced.

"Oh shut up!" I groaned, making him laugh again, before I shrugged, losing my smile. "Is he gonna be there?"

Louis sighed and shook his head.

"You have to come, Liv, it's my birthday."

"Well technically..."

"Olivia, it's my fucking birthday!" he expressed, cutting me short. "I don't know if Niall's gonna be there, I lean towards no, but I can't make any promise."

I stared at him, watching the smoke from his cigarette move between us, twisting and turning on itself. I breathed in and sighed louder than I should have as his lips curled more. He knew I was giving in and I knew it too.

"Give me ten minutes." I just said, leaving the door open and turning around to go get dressed.

"Make it fifteen, love." he joked as I heard the door close behind him. "Spend five more on your hair."

Without turning around, I moved my arm up to show him my middle finger and heard him laugh from my room.

---

The bar was not as crowded as I thought but the closer we got to the table, the harder my heart was beating. I didn't know if I was relieved of disappointed when we finally reached it and I noticed that Niall wasn't there but I just smiled and sat next to Julie who greeted me all while holding Liam's hand on the table. Eleanor was there too, along with Lottie and a her boyfriend and a few more people I didn't know. I noticed Harry who was coming back from the bar with a beer pitcher and when he sat next to me, I sent him a big smile.

"I'm glad you're here." he admitted, bending down a bit closer. "I didn't think Louis would convince you. I was actually pretty sure you wouldn't even open your door."

"He didn't ring." I explained with a grimace. "I thought it was a neighbor."

Harry nodded, closing his eyes with a smile. "Clever."

I laughed a bit and shook my head. "Yea, I guess!"

He poured beer in my empty mug and I thanked him before taking a sip. I was not a big fan of beer but it was still free alcohol and I was always in for that.

"It was not against you, you know." I pointed out, hoping he would understand.

"I know." he said in a low tone, turning his mug in his hand. "I didn't take it personal. I know you didn't answer Julie or Louis' calls either. No worries."

I was glad no one had mentioned Niall to me yet but I couldn't pretend that it was not surprising me. They all had tried to contact me about him and now that they finally got a hold of me, no one was even hinting at him. I was just telling myself how odd it was when something caught my attention.

I recognized him immediately as he walked on the small stage in front of our table. A projector was turned on, suddenly lighting him as he sat on a stool in front of a small piano. My heart stopped completely when I saw him. It felt like I hadn't seen him in years. He looked good and he hadn't changed and somehow, that thought made me tear up. I knew it was Louis' birthday and that he wouldn't miss it and perhaps that was why I was here : to see him for maybe the very last time. I was lying to myself when I pretended it was okay that he had left and that I had made the right choice. The right choice was him and I had lost him.

"I'm sorry to cut your discussions short." he apologized in the microphone and that's when I realized he was going to sing. "I promise it'll only take a few minutes of your time."

No matter what he was going to sing, I knew it would be a song that would haunt me for the rest of my life. It would be the song I would always cry on, the last song my best friend had sang in front of me, and just thinking about it made me tear up again.

"Recently, i've questioned myself a lot about what I want and how I feel. I've never been good at expressing my feelings and I know it's hurt some people. It's hurt the most important person in my life. I've hurt her over and over again through the years without knowing or.. maybe I just didn't want to know. I was in denial but now i'm not anymore. I can't keep my eyes and heart closed."

I frowned but then my eyes opened wider. I didn't want to look around myself, I knew they were all looking at me, and I wanted to focus on Niall and just him. Was it wrong of me to think he was talking about me? Was I hallucinating? Or lying to myself again? I couldn't help but think I should get up and leave but I didn't want to and even if I had wanted, I couldn't have. I was stuck on this chair, my hands gripping my beer, my fingers turning red from the tight squeeze I had on it without even realizing it. He let his fingers slide on a few keys and I could swear my heart vibrated at the same time. He cleared his throat and when he started playing, I felt my heart sink in my chest.

"Looking back through changes Where we started from Don't know about you but I knew it wasn't wrong You know I kept a place For you in my mind And I know you did the same 'Cause you're just that kind."

I had stopped breathing but I started crying. I wasn't even ashamed of my tears and anyway, I couldn't stop them.

"So if we knew all along Why did it take so long? We've known since we were young So why did it take so long? You know you make me feel loved Make me feel like I'm home So if we knew all along Why did it take so long?"

His eyes met mine and I breathed in, trying not to blink. I saw guilt on his face but also something else, something I had seen before but that I could never decipher. He stared at me as he sang, his eyes leaving me briefly from time to time only to look at his own fingers move on the keys.

"Moving on You and I started looking back Now we've got to make up For all the wasted time You know I'd never let you just walk on by From the day that I met you I knew you'd be mine, yeah."

My mind was blank as I tried to understand the lyrics. My heart was saying it was love and my head was telling me to keep it real, that Niall didn't love me and that he had made it clear. But did he ever say that? Did he ever tell me that he didn't love me?

"So if we knew all along Why did it take so long? We've known since we were young Why did it take so long? You know you make me feel loved Make me feel like I'm home So if we knew all along Why did it take so long?"

I was paralyzed and crying in a bar surrounded by strangers but also friends, friends who knew exactly why I was there and that this would happen. A bunch of feelings rushed inside me but I remained motionless as something twisted in my stomach and did the same to my heart at the same time. It's only when he sang the bridge that I realized that my tears had flood my cheeks and that I didn't want to wipe them. It's only when he sang those words that it hit me hard, so hard I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore.

"Just started, it's just started I'm having trouble believing it's true Just started, just started Now we got nothing to prove."

He loved me, didn't he? He was telling me exactly that but my mind wouldn't process it. I had spent so many nights trying to reason myself and get it to my head that Niall would never have these feelings for me and he was there, just singing his heart out to me through a song I had never heard before and I felt my heart jump higher than ever in my chest at the thought that he may have written it for me.

He sang the chorus again and when I heard the last notes, I heard claps around me. A lot of people got up, I heard some whistles and screams, but I couldn't move. Niall got up and moved his head as a thank you before getting off the stage and without realizing it, I got up and walked up to him. I didn't care that I was in front of a bunch of people. I didn't care that everyone was looking at us. I was so close to him that I had to look up to dive my gaze in his. He looked down and shook his head slightly, his face twisting in a guilty and sad expression.

"I'm so sorry, Olivia." he whispered, and I was surprised I could hear him so clearly through all the noise around us. "I was a fucking idiot."

His large hands cupped my face, his fingers pressing on my cheeks, jaw and neck as my heartbeats accelerated. I remained silent, I just wanted to hear what he had to say. I needed it. And I couldn't help but think that I deserved it.

"I love you." he whispered, bending down, his lips almost touching mine. "I feel like I always did. I was not ready, I didn't want to ruin things, I was scared. Those are all bad reasons and I regret them."

I nodded slowly and swallowed hard. It made me realize the lump was gone again and when he wiped my tears with his thumbs, I felt my lips curl slightly.

"I love you." he repeated.

I only closed my eyes when his lips were on mine. They moved slowly and softly against mine. I brought both my hands to his wrists as his grip on my face tightened. I had to touch him if only to convince myself this was real. I needed to touch him to be sure he wouldn't just disappear and that I wouldn't wake up alone in my bed. But this was true, he was there, he was kissing me, and the way he tasted was beyond all my expectations.

His lips parted mine to deepen the kiss and I could swear I heard someone yell "Fucking finally!" behind me. I smiled through the kiss and I could feel Niall do the same. His lips brushed up against mine and a shiver ran up my spine before he grabbed my upper lip between his to kiss me again. No one had ever kissed me like that and I knew that no one else ever would.

"You still love me, yea?" he whispered, his mouth leaving small but soft kisses on the corner of my lips and his hands still holding my jaw.

I chuckled against his mouth as he kissed me again. I felt like he would never stop and I didn't want him to stop anyway. I felt overjoyed and my whole body was throbbing

"Don't be stupid." I whispered. "I always have and I always will."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan story #niall horan writing #my fanfics #amc #god for some reason i feel like its the shittest chapter i wrote for this story #sorry guys!!!

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madamsixx · 5 years ago

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Beyond The Leather:

Chapter 8: Nikki Annoying Sixx

February 20, 1985

Six New messages

Hey Mani its Nikki, sorry about yesterday I didnt mean to speak to you like that. You just get under my skin somtimes. Well call me back I'd like to see you.

Beep : Message Deleted

Sooooo I'm calling again to check up on you. You haven't called me back. Call me back.

Beep: Message Deleted

Mani your really fucking pissing me off ok call me back. By the way I'm learning how to cook for you. Well actually us. The things I do for you.

Beep: Message Deleted

Hey princess I'm sorry ok, just talk to me. Were having alot of fun in the studio. Tommy wants you to come by. Plus you should try the food I made.

Beep: Message Deleted

Princess please call me back. Stop fucking ignoring me. Your making me angry.

Beep: Message Deleted

Mani I miss you. Please call me.

Beep: Message Deleted

That was the last messege I listened to before ripping the phone cord out. I have been ignoring him since the last time I saw him. Nikki was into drugs and that wasn't my life. I'm a respectable girl who comes from a respectable family and my mom would throw a fit if she ever found out I was hanging out with someone like Nikki sixx. He will just have to get over us being friends. Anyways, Tamara came back scolding me on my outfit for the Joan Rivers interview. She said I looked awful that made me laugh actually. Theresa was fired right away because of what happened, but also because she was doing drugs. I was now on a very tight leash. Especially because I got the part for the movie. And after my birthday in September, I will no longer be doing teen magazines. I will be featured on the cover of the biggest magazines.

"Hey honey soooo theres two things, one in March you will be on the cover of Sports Illustrated Magazine and two you have an interview with Barbara Walter's." Tamara shouted and I jumped up screaming. "She is sooo excited to meet you." I ran and hugged her this was exciting. I couldn't wait to tell my mom. I was heading home for a couple of weeks. "Um why did you unplug the phone cord missy?" Tamara ask with one hand on her hip and the other holding the cord.

"Oh uh I tripped over the cord by accident sorry. Haha clumsy me." I lied. ______

I spent the evening until night shopping. I started to realize I was a shopaholic when I constantly kept going out to buy new clothes, jewellery, heels, and hand bags. I was really into fashion and mixing cloths together. I was also into cosmetics like really into it. Maybe down the line I'll venture into business, but for now its acting and modeling.

I was inside a shop and saw this really cute handbag. I mean I had several but why not get one more. I purchased it, and I'm not going to tell you the price. I headed out of the store and got into my limo. Can you beleive it, I'm in a limo.

When I reached back at the condo. My chauffeur helped me get my bags out and carry them upstairs. "Thank you Daniel." I say while giving him 100. "No problem Miss Darlington." He took it and left. I saw a note by the table.

Went to office be back later- Tammi.

Well I'll show her what I bought when she gets back. I was so excited to start trying on my new clothing. And everything else with it. This was the life that I never thought I could have. I bought some stuff for my sisters, my mom, and aunts and uncles. They will really love them. I sheded down into my bra and panties taking off cloths and trying new ones. I put on these nice thigh high boots that could be worn in the winter time. After all I am going home for a couple of weeks. And its snowing in Canada. With a cute black romper. I heard a knock on the door and ran to go and get it. "Coming!" I yelled. I opened it up with out even looking through the peek hole, stupid me.

And saw none other then Nikki annoying Sixx, and he did not look happy. I tried to shut it right away but he put his arm between the door and was pushing back.

"Mani please just let me in." He says while he's forcefully trying to get in.

"Nikki go away!" I say pushing back.

With a big push. Nikki forces the door open and the impact sends me flying and hitting the ground with a thud.

"Oh shit I'm sorry." He laughs.

"It's not funny my butt cheek is hurting you ass!" I yell at him.

"Tsk tsk tsk I thought you didn't swear princess." He smirks.

God he is truly annoying.

"C'mere doll let me help you up." He wobbles towards me almost loosing his footing. He was drunk and probably high.

"Your drunk Nikki, you need to leave Tamara is downstairs." I lied.

"I'm drunk and high." He smirks. "And no shes not."

"And how do you know?" I asked furrowing my brows.

"Because I saw her leave and shes going to be gone for a while." He smiles walking towards my shopping bags.

"So you camped outside the condo until she left?" I asked walking behind him.

"No I camped on the 5th floor in some random chicks place. She let me come in with her." He says while pulling cloths out of the bags.

What the hell is wrong with this guy. I mean really!

"Nikki why are you hear?" I demanded.

"Im here because your ignoring my fucking phone calls. I've left you several fucking messages and your not returning them!" He shouted as he got in my face. I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"Well of course I'm ignoring your calls. And now that you know one hundred percent that I am, you can go back to the 5th girls place or get out!" I yelled motioning towards the door.

Nikki smiled then walked towards the couch and sat down he kicked his feet up on the table like he was at home and put his hands behind his head. "I drove here. Your not really gonna kick a drunk and high guy out of your home to go driving on the streets now will you?"

I can't believe this guy. I was seething with anger. How dare he use something that happened to Vince to stay over here. "Nikki that is a really awful thing to say, that's not a joke. I want you out right now." I say with a stern voice.

"No." He sneered. He kicked his shoes off then grabbed the TV remote turned it on then changed it to MTV.

I had enough of this guy. I decided to just call security and have them deal with him. I took off my boots then walked towards the phone picking it up to dial security. Next thing I know Nikki is charging at me grabbing the phone from my hand.

"Nikki stop it!" I yelled trying to grab the phone back.

"Just calm the fuck down Iman!" He shouted in my face. I then slapped him across the face. Something I wish I didnt do because at that point Nikki saw red. He then picked me up over his shoulders with me kicking and screaming. And walked towards my room.

"Put me down now you jerk!" I yelled.

He then threw me on the bed pinning my arms over my head. "Calm the fuck down!" He yelled

"No!" I yelled back struggling to get out of his grip. He then leaned closer to my face. Making me smell the whisky on his breath. His lips brushed against mine and he whispered with a very low voice. "Calm down princess." He bit his lips and I started breathing hard. He slowly used his legs to spread my legs open and settled in between them. I felt how hard he was through his pants.

"Your so fucking beautiful." He whispered and used his thumb to graze my bottom lip.

Nikki was dangerous. He was dangerous because he was good looking. He has a baby face, beautiful eyes, beautiful hair he's a bad boy, and he's in the biggest rock band there is. Girls love him and would fall for him so easily with out even realizing that he has a lot of problems. Drugs were his number one problem. And as long as he was doing drugs, he would always have problems.

"But I'm young Nik, and you do drugs." I say struggling to sit up and move him up off of me.

"I know princess." He moved to the side of my bed and sat with his back against the head board. He sat there in silence thinking for a bit.

"Iman I'm back, oh my God what is this mess in the living room?" I heard Tamara come in. My eyes nearly popped out of my head. "Nikki stay silent please or so help me God." I whispered to him. "Ok princess." He chuckled.

I ran out of the room with my heart eating ten time fast.

"Hey Tammi sorry I went shopping." I started picking up the bags off the ground.

"Yeah I can see that." Her eyes went wide.

"What is it with you and this phone." She picks the receiver up and puts it back.

"Sorry I was calling some of my friends." I turn over and notice Nikki's boots on the living room carpet. I slowly move towards the carpet to grab the boots.

"Honey can you grab me a drink please I'm very exhausted." Tamara asks as she walks towards the living room couch to sit down. My heart was racing u was praying that she wouldnt see those cowboy boots just lying there on the carpet. She would know for sure that someone was here. "Um sure." I walked to the kitchen and poured her some cranberry juice than brought it back to her. I grabbed one of the shopping bags and knelt down by the table and picked up the boots and put them in. "Alright I'm going to bed." I started running.

"Um hello excuse me take the rest of these bags to your room. Your making this place look like a garbage dump full of bags!" She yelled. I ran back and packed the rest of the things I bought including my boots that I kicked off. "Goodnight Tami." I hugged and kissed her. "Goodnight sweety." She kissed back. I got into the room and let out a long sigh. I looked over at Nikki who took off his blue and gold jacket and threw it on the floor and was comfortably sleeping on my bed. I crawled on my bed and shook him. "Nikki." I whispered "Nikki you have to go once Tamara goes to bed."

"Mmmm no." He says snuggling into my pillow. Well what more could I do I guess he's spending the night. I got up and turned the light off then grabbed shorts and a tank top and changed into them. I got into my bed and layed beside him and just stared at him. I starting to caress his cheek all the way to his jaw and he squirmed a bit. He then opened his beautiful green eyes and looked at me.

"Can you promise me something princess?" he whispered

"promise you what?" I whispered back.

"Promise me that when you come of age and I get my shit together that you'll be my girl. That you'll be mine and only mine?" I nodded with a smile. "No I need to hear you say it so I know there's hope." "I promise to be yours Nikki." I smiled. He leaned over and kissed the top of my head then pulled me closer to him. I snuggled tight agaisnt him and we went to sleep in each others arms.

The next day I woke up, and my eyes went wide when I realized Nikki was still in my bed. I dont know if he snores alot in his sleep when he's not drunk. But he certainly snored alot last night. I barely slept. I turned over to look at him. He looked like an angel. His messy hair was all over my pillows. I didn't want to wake him, but I know I had to. I nugded him to wake him up a bit. But he didn't even move. So then I decided after what he he did yesterday by making me hurt my butt cheek when I fell, payback seemed fair. I lifted myself into sitting position on the bed with my feet on his torso and my hands positioned behind me to give me a good balance. I pulled my legs towards me then gave him one big kick off the bed. He rolled off hitting his body on the ground and his head on the small dresser beside my bed. Woops!

"Ow you bitch, what the fuck!" He shouted on the ground. Where I couldn't see him.

"Hahahahahaha pay back hurts dosen't it."

"Fuck you."

"Now now Mr.Sixx no swearing." I chuckled.

He got up and climbed back onto the bed sitting and holding his head.

"You snore a lot."

"So I'm told." He looked at me with a smile.

"You have to go Nik."

"So your not even gonna make me breakfast. What kind of girl doesn't make breakfast for her man when he spends a night." He moves closer to me and I push away. "First off I would never make you breakfast especially when your capable of doing it your self. And second I'm not your girl." I say pointing to myself.

"Yet." Nikki says with a full on smile plastered on his face.

"I gotta use your washroom to piss. And where are my boots?" He asks getting off the bed scratching his untamed hair. I got off the bed and grabbed the plastic bag I put them in and gave them to him. He grabbed them and put them on.

"Look Nik pee in your pants or pee outside but you need to go now before Tammi catches you." I pleaded.

"Alright fine fine." He picks up his jacket and walks towards the door.

"Wait let me check first." I poke my head out to see if the coast is clear. And then signal him to come. I push him out the door fast, then run to the kitchen to grab the garbage.

"What's the garbage for, it's not even full?" He asks.

"I'm pretending like I'm throwing it away." I start giggling because he's looking at me like I'm a little devil.

"Oh babe you and me are gonna get along just fine." He says as he puts his arm around me to start walking. "So can I see you later on?"

"Sure, I'm heading back to Canada for a couple of weeks tomorrow. And I wont be back till March 11. Cause I have a photo shoot with Sports Illustrated Magazine on the 12 in the morning."

"Wow, so I need to take you somewhere special. That way you'll think of me while your away." We stopped by the elevator and he turned me to face him. Nikki could make a girls knees buckle in a second that's how good looking he was. But I kept trying to remind my self that he was no good. He could never be the man I would want him to be. But then again he did ask me to keep that promise. And he did say when he gets his "ish" together. So who knows.

"Um so I'll pick you up later?" He scratches his head and looks down at his shoes.

"Ok." I smile.

He pushes the elevator button and it comes up. We wave each other good bye. I'm not sure what this is between Nikki and I. But what ever it is, he's got me thinking about him more. A lot more. _________

I sat waiting for Nikki. He had called to say he was going to come at 3:30. It was now 4:26. I started pacing around my room. When ever I would hear the phone ring I would run to it hoping that it was him but then get disappointed when it wasn't. I started thinking about last night. What me and Nikki talked about, I did really like him. But I dont like the whole groupies, drugs, and bad boy stuff. If I was to have any future with him a lot would have to change. But also I'm still young so for me to even be thinking about these things is weird. I should be thinking about chilling with friends, sleepovers, and gossiping. But I wasn't, I didnt have any friends here in LA. Maybe that's why when ever Nikki would come around I would tag along with him. Cause the truth is I felt lonely. Nikki isn't good for me but he's the only one I have to talk to, besides Tamara. And shes always working. I had Theresa as well, but because she was fired I have no idea where she is and if she would even talk to me.

4:40 pm

I called Nikki's number again and there was no answer.

5:30 pm

Tamara called she said she would be coming back late. I hope Nikki calls.

6:15 pm

Nikki called and apologized. At least he did call. He said he'll be here by 6:30 so thats great. It means he didn't forget about me.

9:00 pm

I sat in front of the TV blankly staring at it. I couldn't tell you what was on cause I didn't really care. I just heard noises. Yelling, screaming, and someone saying please dont kill me. I sat there for another 10 minutes and then turned the TV off and went to bed. Nikki wasn't coming.

#nikki sixx #tommy lee #mick mars #vince neil #motley crue

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dxmagedrose · 5 years ago

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GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER!

Tagged by: my lover @hammurabicomplex I’m tagging: anyone and everyone who wants to pick this one up! share with the class if you feel like it! tag me in it!!

PRESENTING. RANDOM DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO-MUN AT 2AM ;

FIRST NAME Good fucking question… It’s (sort-of) currently Dylann! I was Kieran before that, though; it’s still used as one of my first names and I’m not used to Dylann quite yet bc I’ve just started using it.

Indigo is one of my middle names though, and I’ve used it as an online handle elsewhere forever so I use it here now! [ Fun etymology facts: Dylan(n) is a mythology name generally meaning “born of the wave” (aspiring diver & a water witch at heart). Kieran means “little dark one” bc of my love for horror, && I chose Indigo bc as a kid to be it was neither boy (blue) or purple (girl) and was both and neither as well as my absolute favorite color as this vibrant ass mystical color. ]

STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF hmmmmm…. I’m a horror lover at heart, so as a child (I wanna say 12), I was walking through an antique store (I have a few cool finds, I considered putting my other one as the fact tbh) and I turned the corner and I saw these two dolls staring back at me at the foot of the stairs of this antique building. my blood froze, and i felt my stomach drop. i got actual, physical goosebumps stumbling across these two creepy dolls staring back at me in the corner, and i couldn’t leave the store without them. perhaps the little painted porcelain boy would be somewhat spooky by himself if it wasn’t for the terrifying lidded gaze of the porcelain girl with the hairline fractures and slightly open lips. i cant look at her. i dont really find dolls scary, I like to find the spookier ones ones, and she makes me paranoid as hell. i keep her face covered and her up in my closet except for when i bring her out to show her off proudly as the spookiest thing I have but……. i dont really collect dolls anymore. even thinking about her brings a fearful tear to my eye. i don’t like to think about her for very long, but that’s why I’m so fucking proud to own her. ( YES — I’m THAT white person in the horror film )

TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON hhhhh a beardy jawline, high cheekbones, crooked canine teeth >:3c

A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF b.l.t.’s with avocado. ahhhh. my mouth is watering just thinking about it, oh my god. just a bit of salt and pepper???

A FOOD YOU HATE barbecue anything, i hate the taste of bbq sauce, you keep your nasty black goo to yourselves at the grill. twice in my life i have presented with barbecue pizza and both times i cried literal tears. why would you do such a horrible thing to a person? what kind of a monster are you? how do you sleep at night?!

GUILTY PLEASURE the sims. constantly. always. i’ve sunk thousands of hours into my households. oh also uhhhhhh i run two 80s horror blogs, one being a shitpost blog with occasional art of mine and one gremlin fanfic ship blog for horrible, terrible self indulgent fanfics i’ll get the courage to finish writing & post so i can be cancelled on tumblr for at some point. NO, i won’t link them. as i pretend they’re even all that hard to find, within a day i was found on both by someone i admire here a lot :’) ilu bby thnk u eternally for supporting ur local horrifying dumbass wtf

WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN the same clothes i’ve been wearing all day usually, my sweats & long sleeve raglans or my hoodies. i like being cozy day & and out. and ugh. efoort. just throw me in a blanket in a cool room and im out.

SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS serious relationships with some openness or poly. i wish i could fling! just not exactly easy for demisexual autistics lmao.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE I think I would be adopted by my grandma as a kid. It would save me some trauma but mostly I think it would get my autism diagnosed way earlier and save me angsting all these years of wondering why & thinking it’s my fault I’m struggling so much and so loud and affectionate and different in a world that i didnt fit in the same way.

ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON when i get drunk i text people how much they mean to me in my life. does that answer your question? ahhh. i’m sometimes a cuddle monster with friends, i message people with long texts about how much they mean to me, but I sometimes really don’t like to be touched at all.

A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN FLYPAPER. F L Y P A P E R. FLYPAPER. FLY, and, I can’t stress this enough, fucking PAPER. ( Though also Whole Nine Yards and both Re-Animator & Bride ). I have watched Flypaper already like, 5 times this week and I’m still not done, and the other movies have been on repeat for days in this household within the last year. In the past it has also been Donnie Darko & the new Nightmare on Elm Street. roast me.

FAVORITE BOOK White Fang by Jack London. Have I actually ever finished it? No. Do I still own a copy I’ve had since childhood thru multiple dogs eating it, taking it to and from school, and highlighting and circling all the best parts of chapter one ever since I was a kid and it was too hard of a book for me to read? You bet your ass. If I ever need inspiration I just reread chapter 1. Although one of my other favorites was Broken Monsters by Lauren Beukes. But White Fang is like, a weirdly personal text. We stan London’s writing in this household.

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE FENNEC FOX!! I used to daydream about having my own named Shiloh when I was a lil kid. they’re adorable little things and i am obsessed. i mean, gimme any fox and im happy, marble foxes, red foxes… but I was obsessed with fennec foxes. Also tbh ferrets. I want a ferret.

TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] Rosa & @ninetyscnds‘s Luke, Rosa & @iimpulsivity is already screaming my name, Rosa & Constantine, Jesse & Andrea from Breaking Bad, and the joker and harley of 80s sci-fi Dan & Herbert from Re-Ani. I am but a simple opossum.

PIE OR CAKE Pie! I’ll take both pumpkin & melty apple over cake. also, cheesecake is more pie than cake soooo, pie wins.

FAVORITE SCENT my dogs / my blanket. :’) It’s the most grounding smell in the world.

CELEBRITY CRUSH oliver jackson-cohen, i’m fucking GAY and im angry about it. there i was, minding my own business, and i saw that asshole in a certain SHIRTLESS GIF and it AWOKE SOMETHING IN ME. dont talk to me about it, holy shit im obsessed with beardy men now god fuckkdafjaask i hate him why did he make me this gay i was perfectly fine being into girls but NOOOOOO him and his dumb hairy chest and sweet rugged face and I—— I also am obsessed with the archaeologist & television personality Josh Gates and may or may not be considering making a fan blog for him bc idk if my anthropology docuseries host is Dad or Daddy but i love him lots

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO I would go on a dive with anthropologists and archaeologists doing fieldwork research in the ancient cenotes of the Yucatán Peninsula. My actual dream job, catch me crying & fantasizing about being underwater documenting Mayan skulls given as offerings. Fuckkkk, I love anthropology so much!! take me anywhere in the world to immerse myself into culture & archaeology.

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT Introvert. I have a real life friend I see roughly once a month, and that’s it. Plenty of online relationships, I’m chatty, message me all day every day. but i dont do people well.

DO YOU SCARE EASILY I used to! Really bad. I don’t as much anymore. I do get paranoia a lot still. Having therapists telling you that the FBI could be outside your house watching you through your windows will kind of nervous. ( no google results for: yes hello fbi i am a writer please dont put me on watchlists i just have research i need to do for this idea im working on, would you like to try again? ) I have nightmares nightly but not they never make me afraid, they just make me feel like crap. jumpscares and loud noises and seeing people reaching into their pockets dont set off as many brain alarms anymore tho!! progress haha.

IPHONE OR ANDROID I like my android better bc of capabilities but meh

DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES My mom, her husband & I play COD for family game night, and Silent Hill is my life’s blood. I’ve sunken hours into Sims & Skyrim, and Norman Jayden from Heavy Rain is my #1 fictional character in existence, why do i love the druggie babies

DREAM JOB Oh… You’re asking me to pick? I’d love to be an anthropologist doing work out in the field. Underwater archaeology is peak, but I’m also heavily considering being a body recovery diver or police diver. I’d love to see myself in uniform someday, if possible. Just the thought makes me teary eyed & proud.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS fund my person creative & educational endeavors. get myself a spooky ass abandoned house to make my own home to create in, and travel to the world’s best dive sites. just live a mild life of education, creation & exploration. that’s the dream TM.

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE dr. hill is a gross and whiny lil bitch this post brought to u by the miskatonic crew, how is everyone here an even worse bad guy than herbert west precious dan excluded talk shit get hit tho john winchester from spn and both walter white & todd from breaking bad are all in my crew of hated characters. i jusT… the reani novel is difficult to read because i have to deal with this old sack of shit.

FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER Supernatural :-)

… AND THIS CONCLUDES A DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO!! //

#||: && the mundane ( ooc );#( get to know a bitch!! )#( this was... a lot of me rambling about weirdly personal shit at 2 am )

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nobeliumoxygenoxygen · 6 years ago

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Seromina || Firsts

For Sero Ship Week Day 3: Firsts at @seroshipweek

SUMMARY: Ashido tends to overshare her personal life on social media so it’s only fitting that she shares her favourite moments on it too, right?

But this time, it’s only for one pair of eyes.

GENRE: sero hanta x ashido mina, social media au (I think?)

TEXT from your queen 💕

follow @iloveutapeboi on insta its private but dw youll be accepted start from the first post!!!!!!!!

POSTS

[Image: Candid of Sero taken from the side; slightly blurry, low angle as if the photographer was trying to be discreet as they took it. He’s wearing an orange hoodie with black stripes. He’s grinning at someone in front of him and he holds a bitten meat pie in one hand. In the background, there are barely visible bowling lanes.]

Caption: the first time i thought to myself “maybe seros actually cute and i actually like him in a like like way” if that make sense lol. maybe there were other times but this was the earliest memory i could think of. this was after that laser tag game we all played and you did your whole dramatic self sacrificing for me (lol quickest way to my heart - take a laser tag shot for me).

[Image: Image of the city taken from inside a bus. Half the image is of the seats of the bus whilst the other half are buildings of the city. A few people are in the shot, but they’re faces are unrecognisable.]

Caption: first time I realised I was in loveeee (i love youu) how cheesy amirite. its a bus because i realised it when we were going back to ua together after a field trip and idk i just had this light bulb moment ok ugh this is too cheesy were done here ily but im cringing too hard at the cheesinesssss (two posts in and im already dying but im pushing thru!!!!)

[Image: 2 puppies being held by someone who is clearly Sero by the look of the arms and his orange black striped hoodie. One puppy in each arm; a white pit bull and a brown one.]

Caption: our not-so-official first date?? idk if you’d call it that but like......we were alone together so idk??? u know i was going to actually confess today but the dogs were so cute they distracted me!! so i forgot lol!!! (theyre only sliiiiiightly cuter than u dw dw!!! 🤣)

[Image: Sero’s silhouette inside a movie theater. He’s facing the camera but it’s too dark to see much other than the shadows of his face and the glint of his white teeth in his grin. In the far left of the photo, the Lego Movie is playing.]

Caption: our official first date (tho i guess it was kinda rushed??? considering i literally told u i liked u like an hour earlier lmao but i wouldnt have it any other way ❤️)

[Image: Ashido’s room, taken from the doorway. The bed is unmade; the curtains are drawn back to let the sunlight in; the desk is a mess of school books and loose sheets. Ashido’s arms are outstretched in front of the camera; she’s forming a heart with her hands.]

Caption: place we had our first kiss!!! (tho we failed like five times and kept laughing!! the movies are wayyyy too serious - they make it seem like ur not allowed to laugh!! our kisses are so much better😘)

[Image: Pathway leading up into a park where cherry blossom trees frame the edges. There are a few passerbys and one dog, legs a blur, running through the image.]

Caption: place i asked you to be my boyfriend because SOMEONE STILL had this WEIRD idea that?? i??? didnt?? like?? them? EVEN AFTER?? LIKE FIVE DATES?? AND FIVE KISSES???

[Image: UA Heights Alliance common room. Looking through the windows, it’s night and there’s no one in there but there’s food wrappers strewn across the coffee table and the floor.]

Caption: place you said your first i love you (ok i suppose i shouldnt be salty about the boyfriend asking thing because first ilys are such a milestone!!!! ps. im still sorry i panicked when u said it lmao i love how we laugh about it but i know from sources coughbakuyellingthat1tapeboiwasstressingashell that you almost cried ilyyyyyyyy ❤️❤️❤️)

[Image: Close up focus of Sero’s lit up face. He’s giving a close-eyed smile to someone slightly to the left of the camera. Just making it in the frame is a slice of bright blond hair. The background is blurred but it is clearly of a busy beach; the sky is blue and there’s not a cloud in sight. There are two figures, one shirtless with red hair and one wearing a wetsuit cut off at the lower thigh with what might be black or dark purple hair in the water in the far background.]

Caption: when i said my first i love you (i love you toos and i love yous on phones dont count!!! and also u are sooooooo cute in this photo!!! not that ur not always cute ofc ��)

[Image: Text screenshot. (Sent) Ashido: IM SO MAD AT U SERO HANTA ANSWER MEEE (Receiving) Sero: NEVER U TRAITOR (Sent) Ashido: UR THE TRAITOR!!!!]

Caption: first fight :( one of the saddest chapters of my life i hope we never do that again ❤️

[Image: Rice with natto on top, chopsticks on the side. The dish is on top of pink, patterned napkins.]

Caption: first (of many!!!!!!!!) anniversaries (see??? taking pics of food is VERY important!! and u dared to make fun of my ‘attempts at being aesthetics’!!)

[Image 1: Necklace in shape of a crown with engraving of words “Alien Queen”. Image 2: Necklace is flipped over with engraving of words “Ashido Mina”.]

Caption: first (of many!!!!!!!!!!) anniversary presents (I LOVE IT SO MUCH WHY R U SO NICEEEEEEE ITS SO CUTE IM WEARING IT EVERYDAY ILY)

[Image: From the side, Sero smiling softly, looking up at a beautiful orange sky to match his brighter orange hoodie. His eyes are wide but he’s happy. Behind are a few trees.]

Caption: I love youuuuuuuuuuuu sero hantaaaaaaaaaa and dont you forget it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *spam of heart emojis* (also u r seriously wearing the same hoodie in like five of these pics w h y)

TEXT to your queen 💕

im actualy cryin can i call u

TEXT from your queen 💕

oof [Image: google search bar “how to comfort crying boyfriend”.] ofc u can!!

CALL TRANSCRIPT:

Sero: How long have you been planning this? I love you so muchhhhhhhh. I’m crying, can you hear my tears? How did you do it? Did you go to every place or were you planning this from the beginning?

Ashido: *laughter* You can’t hear tears dummy. And you’re not meant to cry! Its meant to be a happy thing! *more laughter*

Sero: ...Glad to know your happy about my pain. ...Its amazing I have literally no words Ashido. I love it-I love you and I love us. Thank you so much.

Ashido: Awww don’t make me blush. It was nothing!

Sero: What do you mean NOTHING? Don’t insult yourself Ashido Mina this is...I don’t know-EVERYTHING!

Ashido: Okay that’s true. I’m awesome.

Sero: I’m going to treasure this forever. You’ll never delete this account right?

Ashido: *giggling* Course not!

Sero: It’s too amazing. Seriously, and I gave you the most cliche relationship present ever.

Ashido: Eesh don’t worry! I love my present! Besides it was the final piece for the account!

Sero: If you say so. You know, I don’t think a meme war counts as a fight...in a relationship...

Ashido: Of course it does! I was soooo angry at you. How could you side with Kirishima?! It was so frustrsting! You wouldn’t BELIEVE!

Sero: ...Trust me I believe. *muffled* Especially after you taped me to the ceiling.

Ashido: What was that?

Sero: Nothing! Also how’d you take the pic of your room with your arms in front of you? Is it...*whispers loudly* sorcery?

Ashido: *giggling* You got it. I have a second quirk that I-...I kept secret. Yup. But I’m telling you because you’re my boyfriend and all.

Sero: And I will totally believe you, because you’re my girlfriend, and all. Hey, I know you need your beauty sleep but can I come over--

Ashido: Yes!

Sero: --tomorrow--wait, what?

Ashido: Oh. Well-

Sero: *muffled snort* Someone’s desperate.

Ashido: *huff* Shhh! You can come over anytime!

Sero: Would you really not mind if I came over now? At like...*shuffling* eleven?

Ashido: Is that even a question? If you come over now, I can add it to the journal!

Sero: The journal?

Ashido: The account Sero!

Sero: Okay...Why? It’s not the first time I’ve been to your house. Firsts was the theme right?

Ashido: Yep! And I can make it ‘First night spent together’ wink wink.

Sero: …*muffled laugh* Whatever floats your boat.

Ashido: But you’re getting a cab here right? You better not walk out this late at night!

Sero: I mean, we’re both training to be heroes if we can’t walk out at night then what could we do--

Ashido: Sero you butt!

Sero: --but yes I’m getting a cab.

Ashido: Good! You better stay on the phone the whole time too!

Sero: Of course. I love you Ashido Mina.

Ashido: And I love you Sero Hanta! ...Wait are you still wearing that orange hoodie?

Sero: ...*distant mumbles* Why do you hate my beloved hoodie so much?

Ashido: *equally distant mumbles* If you wear it one more time the photos will think you have one hoodie.

Sero: What would you say if I said yes?

Ashido: I’d say we’ve got our next date planned and you can guess what it is.

Sero: ...I mean, I wouldn’t say no to any time with you anyway?

Ashido: Pfft, stop being cute. Just-alright, whatever. Tomorrow? At whatever time we wake up I guess?

Sero: It’s a date.

A/N: completely forgot that they live in the same building so pretend it’s holidays or something 🤷 buuuut i hope you enjoyed this was harder than expected so im rlly sorry if they seem ooc 😳!! Thanks for reading!!

#bnha #sero ship week 2018 #sero hanta #sero hanta imagine #seromina #ashido mina #sero hanta x ashido mina #sero hanta scenario #ashido mina imagine #ashido mina scenario #my work

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hoothootmotherfluffers · 7 years ago

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hi hi!! i love your blog and i was wondering if the mods have ever tried to match each other up with anyone?? (looking at you mod chimi! XD) if you haven't, you should!! who would each of the mods be matched up with for haikyuu!!, BNHA, and KNB?

HELLO hi this is chimi and actually before i was a mod, akaashi matched me with kuroo on here hahahaha but i haven’t officially matched anyone up?? haha but here i go!!!!

MIRIAM: i informally matched you up with iwaizumi and i still stand by that because the two of you would be so so SO sweet together and so supportive and like an ultimate parent duo?? so kind. so great. for BNHA i told you the other day (lmao) i’d match you up with ojirou!! he’s so kind and good and he’s honestly such a good guy and he really means well and i feel like between the two of you, you could guide any of your friends into doing good things!! for KNB, i have no clue because i’ve seen like two episodes and it makes no sense so i’m gonna leave that up to nana and akaashi haha

AKAASHI: hmmmmm for haikyuu i’d match you with suga!! you need someone who’s kind and supportive and always there but also someone who would push you out of your comfort zone a little?? and i feel like suga would be the calm presence you need without being too much :) for BNHA you and sparky!! denki is his actual name and i feel like he’d be fun enough to let you live a lil but also exercise your chance to be in control and you’d love that lmao you guys would be super cute. i love sparky. idk for KNB but probably danny phantom guy

NANA: okay i know i matched you up with ennoshita and i still lowkey stand by that but i feel like you and aone would be so cute??? idk you’re vivacious and he’s so dead silent but WOW you’d be cute lmao. for BNHA you and frogger (i think her name is tsuyu) because she’s a lil weird and you guys could b weird together but she’s still very sensible and could help when you get a lil crazy and you two would be a v v good match

LILO: OH MAN i think i’d match you with kags?? you’re both kind of serious but i feel like you’d get him to loosen up a little and between the two of you, both of you could have more fun!! for bnha i’d put you with Iida because you would definitely help him relax but he’d keep you on a good schedule and keep you motivated and it’d be adorable

anyways i’m chimi and that’s my analysis mod chimi out

aye it’s my turn

MIRIAM: I will forever ship you with Iwa-chan, no exceptions. lol idk bnha so i’ll skip, but knb!!! hoo i think i’d ship you with kasamatsu? idk i feel like you two would just be so loyal to each other? and so cute? idk man but i can soooo see it happening and like kasamatsu knows how to treat a lady right and thats exactly what u deserve because you’re gonna come home from work all tired and he’ll be there waiting with a bottle of wine and movies.

CHIMI: I ship you with Kiyoko!! Honestly you’re the prettiest couple ever and kiyoko would treat you so right!! she knows just the right things to make u blush like hell and she would soooo use it to her own advantage. for knb, i ship you with midorima! his uptight ass would piss you off so much and he’d be one of those people who are like “he’s an asshole why do i like him” but you guys would make such a good power couple honestly? like you both deeply care about each other and you constantly tease each other its so cute im

NANA: ok pls no hate but i ship you with Ushiwaka. idk why tbh? i just feel like you’re gonna be the one who’s there for him as he is for you and you will go through your battles together in each others arms. for knb, i ship you with Takao!! (i fukn love him lmao) because i feel like he’s piss you off sometimes by being cocky but he’ll find away to make you laugh, and even when things get bad, despite his asshole cheekiness, he’s there for you!!

LILO: man lets see, i think i’d ship you with ennoshita? since i feel like you’ll show him what it means to be treated right, and you will control his sassiness when it gets out of hand because lord know chikara is able to slice anyone with his burns. for knb i’d say kuroko? idk man i think he’d genuinely be interested in you as a person and i feel like you would’ve made a big effect on him by doing or saying somthing that means a lot to him.

ye thats all, thank -akaashi

HEY HEY HEY Now its my turn and since i want to i will also match the other mods with khr and assassination classroom

Sooooooooooo

CHIMI: For haikyuu i can only say the same as AKAASHI, You and Koyko would be a really great pair. And Tanaka and Noya would die in a corner because of so much beauty on one place. For KNB I would say Riko because both of you are strong woman and have do deal with a bunch of kids. BNHA hmmmmm, that was had because it is a long time ago since i read the manga but i think you would really get along with Torodoki, i don’t know why but i lowkey ship you both. AS I think Karasuma is a good match for you, at first i thought maybe Bitch-Sensei but nah he is better. And one thing you know this Badass of a man would love you belive me. And for the last in KHR i ship you with Fon (i know that you don’t know him so if you google him don’t be shocked just ask :P) hes is a real calm character and you two would get super along.

MIRIAM: Haikyuu and Iwa-chan do i need more to say, when is the wedding and can i make the decoration for the party? KNB I would say Kasamatsu because he is like the KNB Iwa-chan. To be honest they a really similar. Ok another hard BNHA but i think Uraraka would be a great match. Both of you are really cute and sweet and aaaaaaaaaaa i high-key ship you both ok. Isogai for AS with his kind and honest personality he would be a good match for you. And the last match for you is from KHR and i would say that i ship you with Dino. This Italian Mafia Boss would adore you and carry you with his hands when he’s not lying on the ground because he’s a clumsy handsome shit.

AKAASHI: For Haikyuu I say you and Kenma fit together, especially after i read the latest HQ chapter, you would make a great couple. KNB was really easy there i ship you with Kiyoshi, he is sweet and caring and i think he would take good care of you. BNHA was had, really hard serious i need really to reread this shit. But i ship you with Denki. I think you two fit together. AS was easy i ship you with Nagisa, both of you are the definition of look harmless but truthly you are badass. Beware world this two will take over you with their cuteness. And the last but not least KHR. I ship you with the rain Guardian of the vongola 10th generation. Yamamoto is a cute airhead with a golden hearth and would love you with every inch of his body.

SOOOO i hope you like it — mod nana

Okay haha my turn!!! First i am sorry to dissapoint y’all (totally not from south usa - i just like to say it lol) but i only can do matchups for haikyuu!!, i haven’t seen the other anime mentioned, I KNOW!! But as extra i do everyones favorite abs swimming anime.

CHIMI: I matched you before and i stand by it, you and Bokuto man!! That would be an explosive and wonderfull thing. I mean he would love you will all his heart and hold you in his beefy arms it would be awesome. I mean it is very possible that you two die doing some serious dumb shit, but hey if thats not worth it, you don’t deserve to have him lol (and i know you do!!!). For Free!: that will possibly be a surprise for you (and maybe you have to google the name ahah i sure did) Seijuro Mikoshiba. You two would be peferect for eachother, i mean he is funny and goofy but still is very serious about sports and his team and i think thats really you.

AKAASHI: you need someone who is strong, loyal and sweet at the same time. Someone who tells you that you are beautiful and sweet everyday of your life. I have the feeling that Akaashi would be a great pick for you. I all seriousness, i dont only pick him because i know he is your fav. I think he is a kinda serious character who will take your problems and moods very seriously and will comfort you in the most amzing way. He may seem reserved some times but he gives the best hugs and will wisper in your ears from time to time how beautiful you are. Free!: Okay okay i think i ship you with Gou, i mean she is very devotedly and cares much about others. She would make you nice meals and you two would sit together talking sports and literaly everything you come up with.

NANA: okay i told you that before and my opinion on that has not changed. I love to see you with Tanaka, you two would be perfect for eachother. He is supportive and will always be by your side. Also he will pick you up when you are sad or angry and will make you laugh again. I think you two would rock! Free!: There is just on answer to that and not just because i know you like him - Rin Matsuoka. I mean he is hard from the outside but deeply cares about people he loves. So yeah he would make you little gifts from time to time and just hiding them in the appartment waiting for you to find them and when you scream up in joy he stands behind you gently kissing you on the head. I mean YES!! i can see it.

I hope that was’nt to cheezy, well you know me haha i am a fluff ball haha and also THANK YOU for that awesome question i really, really loved doing this!!!! - mod Miriam

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wonhuis · 5 years ago

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for some odd reason i sent angry emojis but i don’t remember chosing them, weird, anyways. it’s understandable that you don’t like certain classes or professors sometimes they can make a subject horrible x( I hope you can keep up with your classes bc i know you’re very capable✨💖i think your content is super pretty, also everything you named is so interesting! 1/? 🍰-sss

some of my friends are designing a mini video game and it’s a really cool experience. i’m not that good in that area so i’ll stick up with making clothes lmao. that would be so lovely! just like when chan, s coups and wonu went to visit some cute cats :( JUN AND WONU OWNING A CAT CAFE

back in 2012 my fav exo m was my fav, luhan's voice was a good balance with dae's but nowdays i think soo's voice is one of my fav. omg yes! i wanted him to cosplay gin so hard fjdskfs, hopefully one day :/ ahh i feel you, usually i watch movies that i already know bc i need to do smth else at the same time(? idk if it make sense. do you know soma? is a really good game. the story is pretty rad. my weekend wasn't the best tbh, a lot of stomach aches but finally im feeling better 3/4 🍰-sss

i know you dont watch going seventeen but the gifs and content on tumblr omg! they look so cute, their outfits were so soft. wanted to ask you, do you have a fav look on jun? besides his black hair ofc. did your week start alright?4/4 🍰-sss

sorryyy for the late reply i’ve slept for three days lmao

plsss thank you, that’s really sweet of you!! god i love games and i’ve always wanted to develop one, i think it’s reallyyyy cool!! but making clothers also are!! i actually studied a semester of graphic design in college before changing to graphic design lmao didn’t work out for me but i’ve always loved it too!!

honestly i NEED wonhui to hang around with cats together i’m dying for it!!! life will be so much better if this happens ://

DUDE! AN EXO M STAN!!!!! u have my heart already!!!!!!!!! exo m was my fave thing ever and i basically only kept up with exo k because of baekhyun lmao he’s been my bias since what is love was released (which also may be the reason why i love bbh’s and ksoo’s voices together so much) but i’ve always liked exo m soooo much more ;; the older songs until like 2015 i mostly prefer the chinese version to the korean one lmao also whenever i listen to mama i sing the chorus in both languages because i get confused LMAO ah i miss them but oh well

it does make sense!! i’m exactly this type of person too lmao i multitask A LOT, i basically can’t concentrate well if i’m not doing multiple things at the same time, but sometimes that also makes me lose concentration lmao kinda sucks but that’s how life works sometimes right

yes!! i’ve watched a gameplay of it before but i’ve never tried playing it myself bc i don’t like to spend too much on games, but i almost bought it a while ago when it was with some % off but i chose gta instead and it doesn’t run on my laptop LMAO

ugh stomach aches suck so much :(( hope you’ve been feeling better!!!

these past few eps looked so much fun honestly, but i’ve actually been watching a drama called my first first love and it’s been pretty nice?? i haven’t watched a drama in AGES but i’ve eaten up almost all of it in these three days lmao do you watch any kdramas?

ohh i LOVE jun wearing denim jackets lmao esp with black pants like the highlight dance practice was EVERYTHING to me bc he not only had black hair but also was wearing a denim jacket with black pants!! also love him with sweaters bc i love sweaters in general lmao also?? chokers?? i LOVE, ALSO HIS WHOLE LOOK BACK IN INTOUCHABLE WAS GODLYYYY, i’m not a big fan of his old straight long hair, but that curly one?? yes. i love it. besides all that jun looks good in everything like even in those baggy beige clothes that i hate he looked good

what about you? do you have any fave scoups looks???

and yeah it was ok, i’ve been only watching the drama and sleeping, also been sleeping in my mother’s room bc my grandma’s sister is here sleeping in my room which kinda makes me annoyed but it’s all good, how about yours?

#🍰 sss #sss19 #long post #anon #asks

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ccsthemovie2 · 4 years ago

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Character-Clow Reed

(avril lavingne voice) WHYD YOU HAVE TO GO AND MAKE THINGS SO CLOWMPLICATEEEED I SEE THE WAY YOURE ACTING LIKE YOURE SOMEBODY ELSE GETS ME FRUSTRATED- ok jokes aside LETS GOOOOO

Why I like them:

for all my angry yelling and kicking and complaining you may be surprised to learn that clow(riol) is one of my favorite parts of ccs!

i think that having the Mystery and Legend of a long-dead wizard that hangs over sakura’s head at the start get light shed on it more and more so that we can see he’s just a person makes the world of ccs feel small and personal. it really stabilizes the heart of the series, what i love most about ccs- that it’s a story about individuals and the choices they make. the magic itself all traces back to one man and the way he felt it was right to act and to treat other people. i think he’s a fascinating character and a very very good choice of central figure.

Why I don’t:

THAT SAID, AAAAAGHHHHH HE IS HORRIBLE HE IS JUST A TERRIBLE LITTLE MAN I HATE HIM I HATE HIM SOOOO MUCH. even putting aside everything he* pulls as eriol, just the things he does as clow reed make me SO upset....LYING ABOUT HIS DEATH??? ELABORATE SETUP TO PRETEND KERO AND YUE HAVE A CHOICE IN THE MATTER OF CHOOSING THE NEW CARD MASTER BUT ACTUALLY KNOWING ALL ALONG AND HAVING A SPECIAL MAGIC ITEM MADE TO SEE THAT IT GETS DONE??? BREEZING INTO A TOWN TO STEAL A FORTUNE TELLER’S BUSINESS, GETTING HER NICE AND KATE BEATON NEMESIS.PNG’D, AND THEN IGNORING HER FOREVER??? it’s bad!! *(it’s complicated,) ive said this jokingly before but i think he just doesnt even think about other people having agency, that he’s not trampling but Guiding and Helping. i think part of his controlfreakiness is also a deep fear that he’s not enough, that he can’t keep a friend on his own merits so he’s gotta get his claws sunk in as much as possible, whether by emotionally living rent free in people’s heads or magical dependance. and that’s not a uniquely horrible belief, yknow, i think it’s very human and normal, but the problem is no one can criticize him. not with the amount of control he has over the people he surrounds himself with, the fact that he can physically shut down kero and yue any time he likes, etc. it’s not that power inherently Makes You Evil, it’s that power made it harder for people to say “hey stop that”, and if no ones telling him to stop then he must be doing fine!

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

GENUINE TIE BETWEEN THE BACK TO THE PAST EP OF THE ANIME AND THE SAKURA SEES THE TRUTH SCENE IN MANGA. i think both of them are great- the tightly controlled dreamy guided tour where she sees just what he wants her to see, AND sakura outpowering him and seeing the reality of his lies. in the manga when sakura sees him gives gentle headkisses to kero and yue before putting them to bed and eriol+fujitaka-ing i go AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ....... THEY LOVE SOMEONE WHO IS TERRIBLE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUU MY HEART. i headcanon that’s when he mind-messed with them, too, i think he had to touch them to do it and that was how.

Favorite season/movie:

bold answer but im going to say the implications left behind in the clow card arc of Why Do Cards Act Like That/Have Those Specialties. what about clow made him want to make a voice-stealing card, a small-object-moving-card, a body-swap card, etc? it’s good questions.

Favorite line:

in the mokona book when they say he said dogs dont have owners they have housemates, bc that explains SOOOOO much abt him and how he treated kero and yue lololol. if you think being a pet owner and a roomate are the same you’re gonna treat your roomates, uhhhm, bad.

also if eriol counts its him in the wonderland ep like YOU DONT KNOW IF IM NOT THE KINDA PERSON TO PRETEND TO BE A CAT and I THINK YOU AND LI ARE SO DUMB I HAVE TO BITE MY TONGUE CONSTANTLY TO NOT INSULT YOU and BUT I CANT ACT LIKE THIS OR KERO AND YUE WILL KNOW IM CLOW. so like. was clow just like that then.

Favorite outfit:

uh his regular clothes are cool. theres an illustration on him in this cool coat with like a sun pin on it too. whenever i draw him in something frilly i have a huge brain. cant deny the guy has style and aesthetics. sakura’s first staff, look at it!! the style it has!!!

OTP:

im neutral-positive on clowyuuko cuz i havent holic’d since high school. you can refer to the answer i gave abt yue for clowyue thoughts (tl;dr: [touches ground] “something terrible happened here” ). madoushi is just kate beaton nemesis comic.

i think it would be funny if albus dumbledore was his ex.

Brotp

yuuko again i guess? and him and all his creations. headcanon territory even though that’s actually the next question but you asked for my thoughts so here they are: i think of him as trying to be a sort of fun camp counselor or teacher type for kero+yue and the cards- specifically a role with an authority behind it, but without the same sort of responsibility that a parent would have. or, i guess, lacking an unconditional love, always an undertone of you having to prove yourself. someone who you go to to learn from, but if he likes can also go “no no im just like you, now let’s have fun!”. it’s hard to explain, but there’s a difference.

what i’m trying to get at here is i think it’s significant that the only creations he has that we see him truly ‘raise’, (going by the info+lack of it we have, anyway, i fill in the blank for myself that kero and yue and the cards all showed up full of knowledge, fully formed, CLAMP DO NOT INTERACT!!!!!), were the mokonas, with yuuko. it was another person’s influence that brought a parental attitude in, it’s not something he ever wanted to be. there’s also a healthy dose of “yue textually had a crush on clow and i will not, no way, let you make that any more unfortunate than that already is”, i’ll admit, but i think that’s just a puzzle piece of the whole theory here. i think it would also be funny if he knew people like tolkein (eriol’s a tolkeinverse name if i remember correctly) and c.s. lewis (side note, i find the fact that clow is an actively practicing christian really funny), but i dont want to think too deeply about that sort of realworld mix, yknow.

Head Canon:

i think pranks were highly encouraged in his house and none of the clow cards are being intentionally destructive, just acting in ways that were totally normal at home, and are genuinely shocked to learn that people will get seriously injured without clow there to cushion their damage.

Unpopular opinion:

evil

A wish:

i wanna know what his pre-story days were like, his life with the cards, his life BEFORE the cards,

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen:

^ same the above but i find it out from clamp

5 words to best describe them:

did you know? clow sucks

My nickname for them:

clown, :kingboo: (discord emoji of him with a 🚫 over it), “the bastard jester himself” (which is, or at least was, in comedian-podcaster stephen buckleys twitter bio and i think it abt clow frequently, sorry stephen buckley), king of living rent free in people’s heads

#ask

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