#oh i really missed these chaotic moments during my way

[nick-writes-stuff]

Various Squid Game Characters x reader, A Chance Meeting After the Games

Includes: Thanos, Nam-gyu, Dae-ho, In-ho, and Gyeong-seok (Player 246)

!warnings: drug use (Thanos and Nam-gyu), canon-typical violence (All), implied fem!reader [reader called señorita] (Nam-gyu), Gyeong-seok is probably ooc, use of y/n (In-ho, Gyeong-seok), ~1k words each

a/n: hey guys! i've been cooking this one for a while but it's here now! i think i probably could have done these more justice by making them individual and fully fleshed-out fics, but i still like the way these turned out. hope you enjoy!

Player 230, Thanos:

The two of you never formally agreed to meet up anywhere. You hadn't thought about it because you had been so scared that you wouldn't make it out of there alive. He didn't consider it because he was high for a considerable amount of time.

But you both realized it the second you got back to your routine. Well, as routine as things could be after experiencing something like the games.

You found yourself missing the cheesy flirting and the pet names. But it was the quiet moments in between his rambunctious highs that truly stole your heart. Beneath the chaotic exterior, there was a man who cared about you more than he liked others to think.

He missed your flustered reactions and genuine interest in him. You didn't throw yourself at him because he was a celebrity. You didn't just like Thanos, but you saw him for Su-bong, a person he hadn't felt like for a long time.

It was a good thing Thanos was never hard to find. He was an up-and-coming celebrity after all, so it was very easy to find a show near you and buy tickets. You added the meet and greet package as well so you could talk to him. Normally, this would have been out of your price range, but that wasn't an issue anymore.

You had never heard of Thanos before the games, so you didn't really know what to expect. There was a part of you that assumed he had been exaggerating his influence in the games to appear cooler, but he clearly wasn't.

There were a few moments during the show where he thought he saw you in the crowd, but he disregarded it. Between the lights in his eyes, the sheer amount of people before him, and the drugs in his system, he didn't trust his own perception right now.

He was probably just seeing what his subconscious wanted him to. Because he really, really wanted to see you.

As the VIP ticket holders were being escorted to the designated meet and greet location, you listened to the fans talking highly of Thanos. It was oddly comforting to hear people praise him like you would. You got so used to the players in the game shit-talking him. You were glad that you weren't the only one who saw something good in him.

While you were in line, you eventually caught the gaze of Nam-gyu. He opened his mouth to say something, but you stopped him with a finger to your lips. He gave you a knowing look and a smirk, keeping quiet.

As you neared the front of the line, you looked down to your phone, trying to avoid looking at him so as to not spoil the surprise. You did hear a fan behind you give a distasteful comment about your demeanor, but you didn't care.

“Next.” Nam-gyu said, signaling you to step forward. You slid a CD case toward him. He didn't look up. You could see that he was getting a little burnt out from the sustained interaction with fans. Either that or the drugs were wearing off. Maybe both. “Who should I make it out to?” He asked, holding a marker in his hands.

You smirked slightly. "Player 438.” You said.

He started to sign it, getting his signature written and pausing as he realized what you said your name was. You could see his eyebrows furrow as he thought about it for a moment before looking up at you.

He gave a gasp of shock before laughing. “Oh my god, no way you're here!” He said loudly. He got up from his seat, walking around the table to pull you into a tight hug.

You laughed as well, hugging him back as you heard some of the fans who were still waiting murmur about you. “Of course I am, I missed you.” You said, soft enough that only he could hear it.

When he pulled away from the hug, you could see the goofy smile on his face and you couldn't quell the fluttery feeling in your stomach. “Bro, how did you know that I would be here?” He asked.

You were the one being confused now. You blinked a few times, trying to process what was going on. Did he just-

You stopped your train of thought when you noticed just how large his pupils were. He definitely wasn't sober right now.

You laughed. “Thanos, it's literally your show.” You said. He let out a soft “oh” when he realized his mistake.

He told you to stick around while he finished his obligations and you obviously agreed.

You, Thanos, and Nam-gyu spent the rest of the evening in Thanos's trailer. You all ordered an embarrassing amount of fast food to share between you three.

You all just sat on the floor and talked. There was a lot of catching up to do regarding what had happened since the games ended. It had been a month or two since you all had seen each other.

It felt like you talked for hours. You could notice the drugs leaving Thanos's system. His voice slowly got softer and his demeanor was becoming less chaotic.

Eventually you leaned your head on Thanos's shoulder, an action that actually made him blush slightly.

“I really missed you, you know?” He said quietly.

You smiled up at him. “I did, too.”

You were telling him and Nam-gyu about something your landlord had said to you, but his mind was elsewhere, trying to figure out how to ask you to go on the tour with him. He didn't want to be apart from you anymore.

----

Player 124, Nam-gyu:

“Do you think we'll ever see each other again after this?” You had asked before the vote. A few more games had taken place, and the player numbers had decreased enough that most players were satisfied with the amount they would be taking home. It seemed that you guys were really going to make it out of here.

His face remained blank. “Would you even want to?” He asked, sounding uninterested. But he was actually ecstatic that you even considered seeing him after this. He was just afraid you wouldn't be okay with his… hobbies.

You seemed confused. “Why else would I ask?” You responded.

He shrugged. “I don't know. I just didn't think clubs and drugs were your thing.” That wasn't something that was going away after this. Honestly, he knew himself and Thanos, some of this money was going to be used to go on a bender.

You sighed. “They aren’t. But I think I could tolerate it if I got to see you.” You said.

He rolled his eyes, trying to remain unaffected but you could see the faintest dusting of pink on his face. “You are so cringe.” He said with a scoff.

You gasped in mock offense. “Wow.” You said, crossing your arms. “I should have let you die during Mingle.” You spat with false venom.

He laughed, shaking his head. Your look of annoyance softened, smiling at your success in making him laugh.

When he spoke again, his tone was much more genuine. “Well, you'll know where to find me.” He said before nodding toward Thanos. The purple-haired man was tormenting Myung-gi again. “Wherever that dumbass is, I'm usually there babysitting him.” You both laughed.

When you got out, you had some things you had to deal with before you could think about seeking out Nam-gyu. You needed to find a new place and get things back into working order in your life. You had been kicked out of your apartment right before you had met the Salesman, so you needed to find a place to stay and replace most of your belongings.

Every day that passed after the games had ended felt like a weight on Nam-gyu's shoulders. At first, he tried to get rid of the feeling with drugs, but that was only a short-term solution.

Were you ever going to seek him out? Maybe you had just been trying to be nice to him. Did you ever actually intend on coming, or were you trying to let him down easy? Why did he think this would be any different? His brain couldn't shut off the rumination, and he hated it.

You did try to find him eventually. It had been a few weeks until you got back on your feet, but you couldn't stop thinking about how much you wanted to see him again. So when you heard Thanos would be doing a set at a local nightclub, you jumped at the chance to go.

You found your way across the dance floor, pushing your way through the crowd to get closer to the stage. You could hear members of the crowd talking about how excited they were to see Thanos perform, but that was the farthest thing from your mind.

When you got to the entrance of the backstage area, you looked around for any sign of him. You didn't see him, and it seemed like the bouncer had left the area for a moment. You entered the backstage, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible. People don't ask questions unless you don't seem like you are supposed to be there.

“Hey, what do you think you're doing?” You heard a deep voice call out from behind you. You winced, thinking of ignoring him but you ultimately turned around. “This is a restricted area. You can't be here.”

Before you could say anything, you heard a different voice. “Back off, they're with me.” You turned to see Nam-gyu with his arms crossed, giving the bouncer a glare until he backed down and left you alone.

You sighed in relief. “Thank you.” You said softly, taking a step toward him.

Before you could say anything else, Thanos emerged from what you assumed to be his dressing room. Upon seeing you, he laughed loudly. “Hey, I was wondering when you'd finally show up. Did you miss me, señorita?” He asked, a flirtatious glint in his eyes. From his demeanor, you could tell he was definitely high.

“Dude, what the hell?” Nam-gyu said with annoyance.

You chuckled awkwardly to try to clear some tension. “It's nice to see you too, but that's not why I'm here.” You said.

Thanos seemed puzzled, his brain taking longer to piece together the situation due to the substances. He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Don't tell me you came here to see Nam-su and not-” You both corrected him in unison.

“Yeah. Nam-gyu, whatever. I-” Thanos said dismissively, but he was interrupted by someone calling for him. He sighed and went to see what they needed.

You looked back over to him. “I was starting to think you weren't going to come.” He said, trying to keep his voice level despite his excitement.

You chuckled. “I had to find a new place. I got kicked out of my old one.” You said. He nodded slightly, but you could see that there was a part of him that wasn't satisfied with your response. You smirked slightly. “Aww, did someone miss me?” You teased.

He rolled his eyes. “Oh, go to hell.” He said. He was thankful the room was dark so you couldn't see him blushing.

You laughed lightly. “If it helps, I missed you too.” You knew he missed you. He just had a different way of showing it.

----

Player 388, Dae-ho:

Ironically, you and Dae-ho had actually met multiple times before the games. You worked as a barista in the coffee shop he frequented.

You had never spoken very much outside of the typical pleasantries expected in the situation. The conversation had never gone much past small talk about the weather if his drink was taking longer than usual.

You both were caught up in your own struggles. You both had debts hanging over you, keeping your minds too busy to socialize. You helped your parents manage the shop, and the business was struggling to stay afloat. He had his own problems in his life, some demons he couldn't put to rest.

You both ended up in the games due to your debts. Neither of you recognized the other, but you both thought the other looked vaguely familiar. There were more important things to focus on at that time. Your fight or flight response took precedence over trying to figure out if you had seen each other before.

The two of you were very close, near inseparable, during the games. You both found comfort in the other's presence. You would talk about anything and everything under the pretense that these conversations may be some of the last. From embarrassing stories to your deepest fears, you both poured your hearts out to each other.

Before the last vote, he asked you a question. “Do you think we'll see each other again? Out there, I mean.”

You looked up at him. “I hope so.” You said softly.

His smile grew. “You'll miss me too much.” He said teasingly. It felt easier to joke with you than admit that he didn't know what he would do without you.

You feigned offense. “Oh, so you're saying you won't miss me then?” You asked.

He started to apologize but your smile betrayed you and he realized you were messing with him. He laughed, but he made sure to add, “I will miss you though. A lot.”

From talking further, you found that you lived in the same area, so maybe you would see each other after all. You hadn't thought about the fact you may have already met before.

About a week after you had been released, you were back at work at the shop. You were still working there even though you had enough money to live comfortably. You put most of it into the business and into your parents’ retirement fund.

You were making a drink as your co-worker was taking orders. It was quiet, so you were able to overhear their interaction with the customer.

“What's the name for the order?” They asked politely. “Kang Dae-ho.”

You were so shocked you almost dropped the cup in your hand. You set it down a bit too quickly, causing it to clatter against the counter and getting both of their attention. “Dae-ho?” You asked.

You met his eyes, and his lips curled into a smile. “Hey. It's so nice to see you.” He said softly. He seemed considerably less tense than how you were used to seeing him in the games. Happiness was a good look on him.

Your coworker looked back at you. “Oh, how do you two know each other?” They asked. Your eyes widened, looking over to Dae-ho realizing there was no good way to explain it.

“It's uhh... It's a long story.” He trailed. You agreed quickly. They seemed confused but eventually continued taking his order.

The shop was busy, so you didn't have time to talk in depth, to Dae-ho's dismay.

He left the building a little bummed out, but it was short-lived. He noticed on the side of his cup there was something else written aside from his name.

You wrote your phone number on the side of the cup, along with a note saying “Call me. I miss you.” You added a small smiley face with it.

He laughed. He couldn't wipe the smile off his face. He had been afraid he would never see you again, so meeting you like that was a relief.

He only wished he'd been paying attention to his surroundings more. He had gone to the coffee shop for years, and once he saw you behind the counter this time, he realized why you had seemed somewhat familiar to him.

You had been hiding from him in plain sight. You meant the world to him now, and maybe if he had taken the initiative to talk with you before, who knows how your lives would have been different. You could have been great friends right now, maybe more than friends.

He sent you a quick text, telling you that this was his number and when he would be free to chat. He soon sent another message telling you that his drink you made him was amazing.

Once again, he smiled like an idiot as he stared at his phone, realizing you weren't going to be the one that got away. He wasted no time putting your number in his contacts.

Just ignore the heart next to your name.

----

Player 1/The Front Man, In-ho:

You had tried your best not to give up on your hopes of survival after the failed coup of the games. Your closest ally, your friend, died and you hadn't even been able to say goodbye. He was doing something so heroic just to be killed and disposed of unceremoniously.

You didn't give yourself time to grieve. Grief would only distract you. It didn't hit you until the night before what would be the last vote. You weren't sure what the outcome of the vote would be, but you were just so overwhelmed and sad and angry. So fucking angry.

Angry at the people who run the games, angry at the other players who have been keeping you here, angry at Gi-hun for even suggesting the attempted uprising, and angry at Young-il for going to play the hero and getting himself killed.

You finally broke down in the dead of night after a few hours of failing to fall asleep. Hyun-ju tried her best to comfort you to no avail.

In-ho watched from the control room. He felt his heart wrench hearing you sob. While the mask made him seem cold and collected, this affected him more than he wanted to admit. He hated that he had to do this to you. He had to leave you and it wasn't fair to you.

It wasn't fair to himself either. He finally made a strong, genuine connection with someone and his job had to ruin it. Neither of you deserved the cards you were dealt in this situation, but it didn't have to stay this way.

While you were getting back into your normal life, In-ho was thinking of a way to reintroduce himself to you. He had a few people doing surveillance on you. Nothing major, just trying to see what your routine was. The places you frequented, your schedule, things of the like.

He waited a bit less than a year to make a move. He needed to make sure your memory of him had faded slightly. This would never work if you recognized him as Young-il. Waiting was excruciating. He just wanted to talk to you. To hear your voice. To see you smile.

You hadn't been the same since the games. You felt like you were in a haze. You were only alive because of the deaths of hundreds of people. You lived, and Young-il didn't. There was a voice in the back of your mind that told you it should have been you instead. You hardly slept anymore. Nightmares plagued you any time you closed your eyes.

After a few months, you finally decided to seek out a therapist. It was hard to describe the situation to him, seeing as you couldn't explain much about the death game aspect. You simply told him that someone close to you died in a violent manner, and you had survivor's guilt.

He advised trying to reintegrate yourself into the world. Social interaction could help to pull yourself out of the depressive episode. Which is how you ended up becoming a regular customer at a cafe near your apartment. You didn't talk to anyone very often, but existing in the presence of others and having basic interactions with the staff was helpful to you.

You noticed someone who you had never seen before come in while the cafe was somewhat busy. He bore a striking resemblance to Young-il, but you brushed it off as his image haunting your mind.

He was dressed up like he was straight out of a business meeting, dark hair slicked back. You tried not to stare, and while he didn't make it obvious, he did notice. You eventually tore your eyes away from him, focusing on the book you were reading.

You hadn't noticed him coming toward you until he spoke. “Is this seat taken?” He asked, hand resting on the chair across from yours. You looked up at him, and he could have sworn he felt his heart skip a beat.

You were a bit confused. The cafe was busy, but there were certainly other places available. You shook your head while returning to your book.

He took a sip of his drink before speaking again. “How do you like it?” He asked. You looked up at him, eyebrows drawn together in confusion. He chuckled, realizing his vague question. “The book, I mean.”

“Oh, it's really good. One of my favorites, actually.” You said. He already knew the answer to his question. One of the nights when you were bordering on a panic attack, he asked you questions about it to distract you. You rambled for a while, and he was entranced by your passion. After the games ended, the first thing he did was find a copy of it.

“What's it about?” He asked. You started talking in a rather closed-off manner, as if you were trying to distance yourself from him. You found it hard to get close to anyone since Young-il. But the more you spoke, the more he saw the old you peeking through.

You both spoke for over an hour, first about the book and then about other things. You both talked about where you were from, what you did for work, and the like. although you were both withholding some of the truth

You didn't even notice time passing by until you saw one of the workers starting to sweep the floor. You had talked until the cafe was about to close. You laughed awkwardly at that fact. “We should probably go. I don't want to hold them up.”

You said your goodbyes and parted ways. It wasn't until you got home that you noticed the slip of paper in your bag. It was a phone number with a small note: We should do this again sometime. - In-ho

Your eyes widened slightly in surprise, but then you just smiled. Your cheeks hurt at the motion, and you realized how much you had been smiling that evening. Your fear of getting close to people was forgotten at that moment.

You typed out a single message: Hey, it's Y/N. Same time next week?

----

Player 246, Gyeong-seok:

You were trying to get back into the swing of things after being put through the horrible games. You had tried to close yourself off from the other players. After seeing the brutality of Red Light Green Light, you didn't want to get attached to anyone. You just wanted to get out of there.

But Gyeong-seok managed to break down the walls you had made. Your number was right after his, so you stood next to each other on the X side of the room. You noticed him glancing over at him but you didn't react.

He struck up a conversation with you afterward while eating dinner. You tried to ignore him, but he was stubborn. You eventually relented, and you both talked for a bit. It was all fine until he told you about his daughter at home, Na-yeon, and how she was sick.

You sympathized with him, and it scared you. You had no intentions of betraying him. Quite the opposite, actually. You were afraid of being attached because it would make the inevitable hurt even worse. A death game was no place to make friends. But that's exactly what you did. Maybe even more than friends.

When he decided to help Gi-hun and the others during the raid, you felt an intense feeling of dread, and the blood in your veins ran cold. You were already grieving him, silently lamenting for the daughter whose father would never return. That was until he came stumbling into the room with a gunshot wound.

You tried to treat the wound the best you could, but the lack of supplies and the incessant trembling of your hands hindered you. Luckily, your makeshift bandage wouldn't see too much use, as the Xs had a majority in the next vote.

Before anything else happened, he pulled you aside. “Hey, thanks for everything. I couldn't have asked for a better friend here.” He said.

You tried to ignore the fluttery feeling in your stomach after his praise. “Thank you, too. I think you kept me sane.” You said softly with a slight chuckle.

He smiled before pulling you into a hug. You tensed up slightly, the movement catching you off guard at first. You hesitantly reciprocated his embrace. “I hope we get to see each other again.” He said.

“In better circumstances, I hope.” You quipped, earning a chuckle from him.

And you would see him again. It was about a month or so later, but fate moved you toward each other. It started with a light tug on your jacket while you were shopping in a department store. You looked down to see a little girl, barely tall enough to reach your waist.

Before you could speak, the girl did. “I can't find my dad. Can you help me?” She definitely was a bit shaken up and nervous to talk to you.

Your eyes softened when they met hers. You crouched down to talk to her on her level. “Of course I can. My name is Y/N. What's yours?” You asked her.

You smiled. “That's a pretty name.” You said, causing her to become bashful. “Hey, I have an idea. I can carry you on my shoulders so you can see over the clothing racks. Is that okay with you?” You offered. It would let her be able to see more of the store. She nodded.

That seemed to calm her nerves a bit. “Na-yeon.” She said softly. Her name didn't immediately trigger your memory since it was a fairly popular name.

She giggled when you picked her up. You grabbed her hands to help keep her stable. You intended to find your way to the cashier so they could make an announcement over the speakers.

You didn't make it that far before she called out to someone. “Na-yeon, what did I say about running-” His words caught in his throat when you turned toward him. It was Gyeong-seok

You smiled as you put the girl back on the ground. She moved to wrap her arms around his legs, and he put his hand on her shoulder. “Fancy seeing you here.” He said with a grin.

She looked back at you. “How do you know my dad?” She asked you.

You locked eyes with him, hesitating on how to explain it. “They're a friend from work.” He offered. You agreed. It was better to lie than try to explain anything further. “What do you say, Na-yeon?” He asked, prompting her to use her manners. The girl let go of her father, saying a word of thanks with a bow.

You smiled. “It was no trouble. She was very brave.” You said, causing her to beam with pride.

While he was talking to his daughter, you pulled out your phone. You started to make a new contact. When he was done talking, you passed your phone to him. He smiled when he realized what you were doing. He put his number in.

“It was nice meeting you, Na-yeon. Don't be strangers, okay?” You said. You said goodbye and made your way to the checkout. As much as you would have loved to stay and chat, you had a pressing matter to attend to.

The girl heard the ring tone. “Is that Y/N?” She asked.

As the two were getting into their car, he received a text message. It was nice seeing you both. Glad to see that Na-yeon is doing well.

He chuckled as he was buckling her seat belt. “Yes, it is.” He confirmed.

“They were nice. When can we see them again?” She asked, very eagerly.

He smiled. “Soon, kiddo.” He said. Before he started driving, he answered you. I'm glad to see you too. Na-yeon is already asking to see you again. Do you want to grab lunch with us sometime?

You smiled at your phone, answering almost immediately. How could I say no?

[doumadono]

Synopsis: in a surprising twist orchestrated by Toga Himiko, two antisocial League of Villains members, Dabi and you, find an unexpected connection during an awkward blind date

MY HERO ACADEMIA MASTERLIST - PART II

You’ve never been one for socializing. The whole concept of small talk, mingling, and putting yourself out there has always felt foreign to you. After all, socializing was never your strong suit, and you were quite content with your single status. You’ve always preferred the comfort of a good book or the solitude of your thoughts. 

But that’s exactly why Toga took it upon herself to organize a blind date for you. She’s always been a bit of a meddler, and apparently, your perpetual singleness was too tempting a problem for her to ignore. “Come on, it’ll be fun!” she had chirped with her usual manic enthusiasm. "Trust me, you'll love him!" Toga had chirped with a mischievous grin. "He's just like you - hates socializing, too!"

And you had no choice but to go along with it, if only to get her to stop pestering you. 

Toga had transformed one of the dingy rooms into something that vaguely resembled a romantic setting. There were candles (probably stolen), a table (slightly wobbly), and two chairs (one missing a leg but propped up with a stack of books). It was sweet in its own chaotic way, very much in line with Toga’s personality.

You sat down, fidgeting with the edge of the tablecloth, wondering who in the world Toga could have set you up with. She had been annoyingly secretive about the whole thing, dropping hints that only served to confuse you more. For a moment, you wondered if Himiko might have set you up with no one else but Shigaraki himself. The boss was the most antisocial person you’d ever met, which could mean this date would be an absolute nightmare. But there was no backing out now. 

The door creaked open, and Dabi walked in. 

Your eyes widened in surprise. 

Dabi? Of all people? 

The blue-flamed villain looked as disinterested as ever, hands in his pockets, eyes half-lidded with boredom. “Great,” he muttered, not even trying to hide his lack of enthusiasm. “Toga’s matchmaking now.”

You offered a small, awkward smile. “Looks like it.”

Dabi slouched into the chair across from you, and for a moment, the two of you just stared at each other in uncomfortable silence. Finally, he spoke. “So, how did Toga rope you into this?” he asked, his tone as dry as sandpaper.

You shrugged. “She didn’t really give me a choice. And you?”

He smirked, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “Pretty much the same. I guess she thinks we’re both too antisocial for our own good.”

You couldn’t help but laugh a little. “She might be right about that.”

Dabi chuckled, a low, almost menacing sound. “Sounds like her. She loves meddling in other people’s business.”

You nodded, grateful for the small talk. “Yeah, she’s something else.”

Another awkward silence fell over you. You glanced around the room, trying to think of something to say. Your eyes landed on a small stack of books in the corner, and an idea popped into your head. “You like reading?” you asked, nodding towards the books.

Dabi followed your gaze and scoffed. “Not really. I only read articles about how great heroes are supposed to be.”

You blinked in surprise. “Why’s that?”

He smirked, a glint of mischief in his eyes. “So I can read between the lines and find their weak spots. It’s more fun tearing them down when you know their flaws.”

"I saw you reading something about Endeavor earlier," you ventured, trying to sound nonchalant. You were still new, still trying to weave yourself into the fabric of the League without causing too much disruption.

Dabi’s smirk faltered slightly, and his eyes narrowed. “Oh, did ya?”

“Yeah,” you continued, curious. “You were pretty engrossed in it. Do you like Endeavor?”

His eyelid gave a slight twitch, a nearly imperceptible movement, but it was the blue flames dancing over his knuckles that caught your attention. They flickered menacingly as he slowly clenched his hands into fists. "He’s just my main interest," Dabi replied, his voice dripping with a wry amusement that did not reach his eyes. There was something ominously calm about the way he spoke, a laid-back tone that contrasted sharply with the dangerous glint in his gaze.

Looking to shift the heavy atmosphere that his words had conjured, you ventured to a lighter topic, one that might catch him off-guard in a humorous way. “So, you’ve read everything about him, huh? What about fanfiction? Ever dive into that rabbit hole?”

Dabi made a scoffing sound, a dismissive and sharp exhalation that cut through the levity like a knife. His gaze hardened, the blue flames flickering dangerously as if they were an extension of his simmering rage. “I don’t give a fuck about what people write about that scumbag,” he said, his voice cold and scornful. “How they idolize him in the creations of their sick minds,” he continued, his lips twisting into a derisive sneer. “But I’m sure they’re as sick as Todoroki Enji himself. One day, I’m going to destroy that fucker,” Dabi declared, his words not just a promise but a vow, laden with all the intensity of his deep-seated hatred. 

After a moment, his fire faded out, and Dabi leaned back in his chair, looking you over. “So, I assume you read when you’re not being forced into awkward dates?”

You hesitated for a moment, then decided to go with honesty. “I read a lot. Mostly horror novels. And I like to cook. It’s calming.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Cool, I guess.”

The conversation continued like that, awkward and stilted at first, but slowly easing into something more comfortable. You talked about books and movies, some random stuff like your favorite food types, your mutual disdain for social gatherings, and the absurdity of Toga’s matchmaking efforts. 

At one point, Himiko burst into the room with a tray of hastily made snacks, beaming with pride. “How’s it going, lovebirds?”

Dabi shot her a withering look, slowly cocking his eyebrow. “We’re not lovebirds, Toga.”

You couldn’t help but smile. “But it’s going surprisingly well. As you can see, I’m still alive.”

Toga clapped her hands together. “I knew it! You two are perfect for each other. I’m a genius!”

She scampered off, leaving you and Dabi to your conversation. 

Despite the unusual setting and the odd circumstances, you found yourself actually enjoying the evening. 

Dabi’s dry wit and cynical outlook somehow meshed well with your own reserved nature. Dabi might not be the most conventional date, but there was something about him that intrigued you. And for someone who had always avoided socializing, that was saying something.

“So, how did you end up joining the League?” you asked, munching a jelly bean.

Dabi leaned back, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Wanted to burn the world down, found like-minded people. What about you?”

You shrugged, not wanting to delve too deeply into your past just yet. “Wanted to make a difference in my own way. The heroes… they never really helped people like me.”

Dabi’s eyes glinted with a hint of understanding. “Yeah, they’re all hypocrites.” He leaned back, crossing his arms. “What about you, rookie? What do you think of the League so far?”

You hesitated, choosing your words carefully. “It’s different. I mean, it’s not what I expected, but in a good way. Everyone’s really passionate about what they believe in.”

Dabi’s gaze softened slightly as he scoffed. “Yeah, we’re a pretty dysfunctional family. But it works somehow.”

“Have you ever thought about what you’ll do after all this?” you asked, genuinely curious.

Dabi shrugged. “No. And I don’t really care. Guess I’m more of a ‘live in the moment’ kind of guy. What about you?”

You took a moment to think. “I’m not sure. I just want to find a place where I belong. Somewhere I can be myself without having to pretend.”

Dabi’s smirk returned. “Sounds like the League’s not a bad fit for you, then.”

"What do you think of Shigaraki as a leader?"

Dabi smirked, slowly stretching his fingers. "He's got vision, I'll give him that. We might be a bunch of misfits, but he’s the glue that holds us together. For now."

"Do you think he’ll succeed?" you tilted your head to the side.

As long as he keeps his head on straight and doesn’t get too ambitious too fast, maybe. But I have my own plans, too, and I rather focus on them.”

Curious to learn more about him, you asked, “What were you like before joining the League?”

Dabi’s expression darkened momentarily. “Let’s just say, I’ve had my fair share of shitty experiences. But that’s the past, and the past never fucking dies.”

You sensed his reluctance to dive deeper, so you shared a bit about yourself instead. “I was a loner. Never really fit in anywhere.”

He taunted, “Yeah, I get that. We’re all here because we don’t fit in out there.” Eventually, Dabi leaned forward after lazily chewing a cracker, his expression serious for once. “This evening wasn’t as terrible as I thought it’d be. And you weren't that bad either. Maybe we could do it again sometime. Without Toga’s interference, of course. I know a few nice places, far enough from these crazy maniacs.”

You felt a warmth spread through your chest as you giggled, “I’d like that, Dabi.”

He nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Yeah, me too, actually.”

Perhaps there was something to be said for this whole notion of socializing after all. Maybe it could bring a little light into the shadows.

[inkzee]

🚬BURNOUT🚬

bunny doll oneshot

summary: Through the adventure at Spudsy's a certain purple bunny finds himself burnt halfway through the adventure. He thought the only thing that could warm him in his hiding place was cigarettes, but the presence of a certain doll proves otherwise.

small warning: if you are not okay with smoking it's okay to skip this one

A/N: This fick is kinda based on the comic I made like a few days before ep 4 came out (linked here) and I just wanted to write down this little idea that I had of Jax and Rag's in a freezer during a break.

word count: 1.2k

Spudsy’s wasn’t the ideal working environment. The greasy mountain bugers. The smell of sour ice cream. The pushy manager. The works. Though it had moments of entertainment for Jax, he found a certain manager who made the place a living hell. But there was one place where Jax could get some peace from the chaotic environment—the Freezer.

Sure it was colder than a polar bear’s @#$ but he had quickly found an alternative to the bitter cold of the ice box. Cigarettes. He had no idea where or how Zooble got their cruddy claws on them, where she found them, or why Caine thought to add these into the world. All he knew was that he finally, finally something to pull his mind out of this hellscape of an adventure.   

He flicked open the box to find a multitude of different colored cancer sticks, he rolled his eyes. Even the stupid cigarettes are colorful. He grabbed a blue one with a red tip, and placed it in his mouth while stuffing the box back into his pocket quickly and grabbing the box of matches in his apron. Opening the box of matches and licking the match across the box, giving off a dim light in the dark room. Lighting the cigarette he quickly shook the match out and made a sharp inhale.

And that feeling. That feeling he hasn’t felt since he spawned into this hell whole came rushing in. The slight tingle he felt in his throat and the sudden burning in his lungs was a feeling he all too well missed. “You’ve outdone yourself Caine” Jax smirked murmuring to himself as he let out a quick exhale letting the smoke fill the small area, letting himself gently slide down the wall. Allowing the warmth in his chest to travel through his body. Or once he finally felt… at peace? Normal? That wasn’t even the right word, he had never really felt normal before.

Even before the Circus.

He quickly snapped out of his thoughts as the freezer door slowly swung open. Crap Jax cursed to himself quickly moving himself behind a shelf. He prayed that it wasn’t Gangle, he couldn’t go through training again. He just couldn’t!

“H-hello~?” A giggly, preppy voice echoed as the freezer door closed. “Any-he ha Anyone in here?”

But instead of the cheery and annoying manager, it was a giggling, stumbling ragdoll who looked high as a kite. She had been this way since earlier this morning and Jax didn’t know how or why she got like this but it was a weird sight to see. Sure she was still smiling, but it looked unfamiliar and different. And the things that she’s been mumbling and saying to others…Jax couldn't really care less but there was something she had said earlier that caught him off guard…

“I like, hate you but I don’t want you to hate me… Is that weird?”

He had originally bypassed the comment as if it was nothing. He didn’t want to give what the ragdoll said a second thought, but…

“Oh hey, Jax~” Ragatha waved loosely, moving like a ragdoll. “Gangle was wondering where you were” she giggled. “What are you doing in the fre- OH MY GOSH WHERE DID YOU GET THO-”

Jax quickly grabbed her loose arm and pulled her toward him, quickly covering her mouth. Quickly shutting the door behind her.

Jax shushed her. “I don’t know what you're on nor do I care, but I don’t need you announcing the whole kitchen that I’m in here” 

The doll removed his hand from her mouth. “Okay~ Okay~~~ I get it.” She giggled pointing at the cig in his mouth. “W-where did you even get a box of those from. Didn’t Caine like make things like.....illegal~?”

“Don’t know. And don’t care” Jax sighed releasing more smoke into the chilled room. Ragatha oh-ed the ways the smoke filled the room.

“Can- I have one?” she asked in a childish, mystical tone.

Jax narrowed his eyes to her, giving her a quick snort. “Whatever you’re on must have turned your brain to mush doll. Why would a goodie goodie like you want one of these?,” he leaned down to her eye level and pocked her forehead slightly sending her off balance. She clumsy slapped his hand away. "What happened to your lawful nature~" It was an attempt to make a snarky remark.

“Shut up and gimmeeeeeeeeeee-” she swinged her arms and reached for the half smoked cigarette out of the bunny’s mouth. 

“Hey-” Before he could finish his sentence the the doll placed the red end between her plush lips, and tried the inhale smoke from the bud.

And Jax just stood there.

Shocked.

Speechless.

And oh so confused.

There was something else there as well. Behind that shock. A slight tug in his chest that stopped him in his tracks. It felt hot like he was just seared by the end of the cigarette currently in her mouth.

And.

He.

HATED.

That stupid feeling!

He knew the feeling all the well. It haunted him everytime the doll lectured him. It haunted him when she yelled his name in that annoying tone he liked when he did something wrong. It haunted him even in the bitter cold of a freezer with the doll who clearly isn’t herself. And he hated it because he knew. He knew he could never act on it.

No.

 He was too scared to act on it.

“Aww-” Jax was snapped out of his thoughts to see the ragdoll sadly staring down and the unlit bud between her fingers. “It went outtttt~~ Nooooooooooooo~” she childishly groaned. If Jax didn’t know any better, he would have thought she was gonna throw a tantrum.

“Shhh keep it down!” Jax shushed. She quickly slapped her hand over her mouth. 

Jax sighed at her stupidity, reaching inside his pocket the grab both boxes out of his pocket. Quickly grabbing another pastel stick from the first box. The opening the other to grab a match.

“Awww~ I want a new oneee~”

“Too bad you're not getting one!” Jax grunted as he flicked the match across the box painting the freezer in a warm dim light, which got a ‘ooooh~’ of approval from the ragdoll. He placed the stick in his mouth and brought the end of his to the burnt end of the half-used cigarette between the Ragatha's lips and brought the match up to light both ends.

Ragatha watched as the flame licked the ends of the buds, lighting the ends a pretty ember. Her eyes widened in a trance at the sight. The bunny soon realized how close he was to the doll. The way the flame light reflected onto her was mesmerizing. Of course, this wasn’t her real body, but he noticed the way the light shined into her eye… The burning feeling came back again. And instead of beating it down with a cocky joke, he sat with it. And let it warm him in the cold chill of the freezer.

But the moment was soon cut short when her gaze turned from the flame to him, causing him to make a sharp quick gasp. Watch caused him to inhale and choke on the bitter burnt taste of the cigarette soon causing a short burn in the back of her throat. He began to cough profusely.

“Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh~” the doll shushed him quite loudly. “You don’t wanna get ca-”

On cue, the freezer swung open to show a certain preppy manger, “What’s going on back here?”

@#$% Jax cursed to himself.

So much for a corporate break.

[satsugacafe]

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐓𝐨 𝐂𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬

➳❥ 𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭: love your blog! youre quickly becoming one of my fav bleach writers on tumblr. can I request some headcanons for gin aizen and byakuya with a reader who likes to cross dress (f->m type cross dressing)? thank you! (also how many characters are you comfortable with writing for one prompt? I dont wanna overwork you 😖)

➳❥ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬: Ichimaru Gin, Aizen Sosuke, Kuchiki Byakuya

➳❥ 𝐀/𝐍: I hope I nailed Gin’s character alright. Thanks for the request. Enjoy! As for your question, up to six characters, I’m good with writing for a single post.

➳❥ 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭: When you (female reader) enjoy crossdressing as a male.

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐍𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𓏲⋆ ִֶָ ๋𓂃 ⋆ Ichimaru Gin

◈ Gin immediately noticed when you started cross-dressing. He didn’t say anything at first, just raised a brow with that ever-present fox-like grin and let you wonder what he was thinking.

◈ “Well, aren’t you a clever one,” he said one day as you walked into the room in a perfectly tailored Shihakusho. “Almost had me fooled for a second…almost.”

◈ He found it endlessly entertaining how you managed to baffle others, especially when they mistook you for a new male recruit. He often went out of his way to play along, just to see how far the deception would go.

◈ “Oh, this is my younger brother,” he’d casually introduce you, earning sceptical looks from everyone. “We’ve got the same charming smile, don’t we?”

◈ Gin helped you refine your disguise, pointing out areas to improve your mannerisms. “Your walk’s a bit off,” he said once, mimicking an exaggerated swagger. “Men tend to stomp around like they own the place, not glide like ghosts.”

◈ Despite his teasing, he respected how confidently you owned your choice. “Takes guts, you know,” he once remarked with an approving tilt of his head. “Not everyone could pull this off without looking like a clown.”

◈ Occasionally, he’d get competitive, dressing up himself to match your vibe. “Let’s see who pulls it off better, shall we? Or do you think I’d rock a skirt?” he’d challenge, though his version of cross-dressing often leaned into absurdity for comedic effect.

◈ If anyone dared mock you, Gin’s playful demeanour would vanish instantly. “Funny how brave people get with their tongues,” he’d say, his smile sharp enough to cut steel. “Let’s hope they don’t lose it entirely.”

◈ He couldn’t resist joining in when someone realised their mistake. “Oh, you thought she—? Nah, nah, mate, I’d rethink that sentence if I were you.”

◈ He was particularly fond of moments when you managed to catch him off guard. Once, you slipped into his captain’s haori and imitated him during a meeting, complete with his accent and mannerisms. Gin’s laughter echoed through the halls for hours.

𓏲⋆ ִֶָ ๋𓂃 ⋆ Aizen Sosuke

◈ Aizen noticed your cross-dressing immediately but chose not to comment until you brought it up yourself. His sharp eye for detail missed nothing, but he enjoyed observing how others reacted to you first.

◈ “I must admit, you’re quite convincing,” he remarked one evening as you adjusted your sash in the mirror. “If I didn’t know you better, even I might be deceived.”

◈ He often praised your dedication to the craft, admiring how much effort you put into perfecting the illusion. “It’s an art form, really,” he’d say, brushing an imaginary speck of dust off your jacket. “You’ve mastered it well.”

◈ Aizen subtly helped you elevate your disguise, gifting you pieces of clothing or accessories that enhanced your appearance. “A proper gentleman always displays confidence,” he commented, adjusting your posture and correcting your speech.

◈ He found it amusing how flustered some of his subordinates became when they mistook you for a man. “It seems you’ve caused quite a stir,” he’d note with a faint smile. “Shall I clarify matters, or would you prefer to leave them guessing?”

◈ His calm and composed nature contrasted with how chaotic things became whenever your disguise worked too well. Once, he let you pose as a visiting noble, watching with quiet amusement as people scrambled to impress you.

◈ When someone eventually realised the truth, Aizen simply tilted his head. “Is it so surprising?” he’d ask, his tone mild but edged with a challenge. “Appearances are often deceiving, are they not?”

◈ He wasn’t above using your cross-dressing to further his plans. “Your ability to adapt is invaluable,” he remarked after one successful mission. “Few possess such versatility.”

◈ Occasionally, he indulged in a bit of dry humour about your attire. “Perhaps I should start dressing like you,” he mused one day, his lips curving into a subtle smirk. “Wouldn’t that be a sight?”

◈ Despite his enigmatic personality, Aizen made it clear he admired your individuality. “In a world full of masks, yours is particularly intriguing,” he said once, his voice tinged with genuine admiration.

𓏲⋆ ִֶָ ๋𓂃 ⋆ Kuchiki Byakuya

◈ Byakuya took a moment to process your decision to cross-dress. His initial reaction was a subtle raise of an eyebrow and a measured, “I see.”

◈ At first, he wasn’t entirely sure what to make of it, but he respected your choice without question. “As long as it brings you honour and dignity,” he stated plainly, adjusting his scarf.

◈ He soon realised how skilled you were at pulling off the disguise, often overhearing his subordinates wondering about the “new recruit.” His only response was a slight twitch of his lips.

◈ “Your commitment to detail is…admirable,” he remarked one day, watching you adjust your outfit with precision. “It reflects a certain discipline.”

◈ Byakuya occasionally slipped into a protective role, ensuring no one dared disrespect you. “Those who cannot see beyond appearances are unworthy of their titles,” he declared when someone muttered something unkind under their breath.

◈ He grew to appreciate the versatility your cross-dressing offered. During missions, your ability to blend in as a male Shinigami often proved advantageous, much to his silent approval.

◈ Byakuya’s dry sense of humour occasionally surfaced in unexpected ways. “If you are to wear male attire, perhaps you should also adopt their posture,” he said, nodding towards your more graceful stance.

◈ You once borrowed one of his hairpins to complete your look, and while he didn’t outwardly comment, you noticed he never asked for it back. “It suits you,” he eventually admitted, his voice quiet.

◈ During a formal event, he introduced you without hesitation. “This is my companion,” he said, his tone as neutral as ever. The shocked expressions that followed were met with his usual unbothered demeanour.

◈ Despite his reserved nature, Byakuya occasionally let his admiration slip. “Few could carry themselves as well as you do,” he said once, his gaze steady. “Your confidence is…noteworthy.”

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @stygianoir

©satsugacafé 2025: no permission to repost, plagiarise, copy or translate my work onto any other platform or this one.

[screaminglygay]

Kate Bishop headcanons

pairing: kate bishop x fem!reader

word count: 2.4k

warnings: possibly bad grammar, swearing

an: here is little something, i´m kinda having hard time to write a full fic at the moment, but i hope i will get there eventually!

Kate Bishop hates mornings as much as you do, but she will wake up before you to make you your favorite breakfast.

Sometimes you argue about that, since she is still the one recovering from the mission. And you should be the one taking care of her.

She always chooses and buys some take out for you, since she knows you´re the worst at chosing what to eat and in return you always chose the movie or a show to watch later together.

"We´re both indecisive, but you chosing a movie and me chosing a food, sounds like the best compromise we could ever think off." She proudly states.

Kate who always makes sure you drink plenty of water during the day, because there was one time you almost passed out from not drinking a single glass.

"Ugh…" you sigh.

Kate´s eyes move from her phone to you, "you okay?"

You nod slowly, while closing your eyes, "my head just hurts."

She knows the answer to her question, but she still asks, "how many glasses of water did you drink today?" Her head tilting slightly, already knowing you will try to lie your way out of this. Like you always do.

"A few-" you open your eyes, the archer already looking at you with her eyebrow raised, "would be nice, if I had, but uh none. I didn´t drink any, but that´s not the caus-"

Kate is so used to your little water issue, so she just stand up and goes to the kitchen, pouring you a glass of water and then coming back. "Drink it and no buts."

If you didn´t know Kate, you would be imitaded, but you´re not, already planning some smart remark, but the headache starts to be real pain in the ass. So with defeat you take the glass and drink it.

"Good, you can thank me later." Kate smiles and goes to pour you some more.

"I don´t see the point, the only thing it makes me do is to go pee, not a better skin, not making the headache go away, I don´t feel fresh at all…" You mumble under your breath, while Kate just chuckles at your words.

After some time you feel better and you hate to admit it, but Kate notices, she always notice the small things about you.

"Feeling better?"

Teaching Lucky to find you, just so she can have an excuse to talk to you.

"Where is (Y/N)?" Kate asks looking at Lucky.

"Miss (Y/L/N) is in her own room at the moment." The A.I. voice speak up.

Kate just sighs, "thank you, F.R.I.D.A.Y."

Sometimes Lucky is just full of Kate being a 'subtle' attention seeker.

When you two are cooking, it is always a disaster, not that you can´t cook, Wanda taught you something, but it is just too chaotic with Kate, that you are kinda banned to be in the kitchen together making something other than cereals.

"Wanda are you for real?" You look at the readhead putting a photo of you and Kate on the fridge with a big 'X' on it.

"It needs to be done, you two are horrible!" She looks at you.

"It was not my fault-" you try to argue, but there is no way you´re winning this fight.

Wanda cuts you off, "how do you start a fire, while making spaghetti?!"

You throw your hands up in a surrender, "I don´t know, ask Kate!"

Kate who is always taking your side, no matter what Pietro is arguying with you about.

"Pineapple is not bad on pizza," Pietro looks at you, annoyed.

"It is a crime. You don´t put blueberries on pizza either." You state your own thoughts.

"Oh my god, really?" Pietro throw his hands around.

"What do you think, Kate?" You look at her.

"I think (Y/N) is right, it is not the pizza I would choose." Kate chuckles.

"We ate pineapple pizza together, Bishop!" Pietro argues and you just look at Kate.

"I- yeah we did, but I still thinks there are way better pizzas in the world." Kate shrugs.

"See?" You look at Pietro.

"She said that there are better pizzas, not that it is a crime!" You don´t talk about pinaaapple pizza in the household anymore.

She insists that you walk Lucky with her because she's worried he might see a deer and run off. She definitely can't walk him alone since she's still 'recovering'.

You´re laying on the couch, watching whatever show is playing on the TV, you´re kinda existing, just taking a break on the Sunday afternoon. Not really planing on doing anything more than lay and relax.

Until Kate rushes in with Lucky, who jumps on you and licks your face.

You giggle, "hey buddy, hi, hi, hi," you pet his head.

"Come on," Kate says as Lucky jumps down from the couch, "you too, sleepyhead."

"Hm? Why?" You yawn.

"We´re going out, on a walk."

"Do we have to?" You groan.

Kate shrugs, "I was thinking you would join us, since Lucky is just hyperactive and I´m not really sure if I can hold him." And just like that, you´re up. Sometimes you´re listening better than Lucky does.

"I´ll just get my jacket," Kate gives you the jacket you were mentioning, "oh, thanks," you smile.

The whole time you we´re making sure Kate is feeling okay, in fact she was feeling just amazing and Lucky was happy that two of his favorite people are walking with him.

Kate who is always appearing in your room, because Yelena taught her so, when she´s bored.

After a long day of training with Natasha you finally come to your room, throwing your stuff on the chair, but missing.

"That was a shitty throw," you hear Kate says.

"Oh my god!" You jump at the sudden voice, "what the hell are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you."

"Jesus christ…" you shake your head.

"Nope, just me," she smiles.

You look at her, rolling your eyes.

"That´s all the exitement I will get from you?"

"I saw you this morning," you take the workout clothes that are on the ground and put them on the chair.

"Yeah, that was twelve hours ago…" Kate pouts.

You look at her once more, "weren´t you supposed to do some paperwork?"

"All done," she smiles proudly, "but then I got bored so I went to see you."

"And how long ago that was?"

"4 hours ago…"

"You were waiting here for four hours? Wouldn´t be easier to go to the gym and find me?" You´re trying to understand the achers thought proces.

"Maybe, but I wanted to see if I can use what Yelena taught me… sneak in and attack, both worked." She says while moving her hands, probably to gesture the attack.

You nod, still not really understadning what´s going on right now, "well I keep my doors unlocked all the time, so that was not that hard, Katie. And I would never in my dreams thought about you waiting here for me for four hours, so yeah, the 'attack' worked." You admit to her.

"Not even in your dreams? Damn." Ugh, how you hated when she did that, this friendly flirting, it was kinda killing you, but it was on the daily basis for her.

You and her both are always rambling about something you are passionate about and the other one is always listening, no matter how obscure the topic is.

"So I dowlanded this app, and it tracks your steps and it shows you how long it would take you to go to the Mordor. And it is really cool, like it shows you all this achivements and you have your own character." You open your phone to show Kate the app.

"Wow, that is really nice. So how long will it take you?" Kate asks looking back at you.

"Well, since this week I was just walking Lucky or laying on my ass it says…" you look at the date, "I´ll be there in July 17th"

Kate hums, "that´s good."

"2025," you add.

"Oh… is it that far away?"

"I think Frodo was there in 183 days, but he was walking all day everyday, or running and since I don´t really have to save the world I´m not in a big rush." You giggle, "did you know that even though Frodo was the hero who saved the Middle-Earth, Hobbits were actually hunted for fun?"

"I didn´t know that, no." Kate shakes her head.

"It is so fascinating to me that this world has sooo much to offer like, few weeks ago I read a book about all the battles and wars there´s been." And there goes your ramble.

"You never told me your favorite character." Kate smiles as she notices your eyes sparkling with exitement.

"That is a tough one, I can´t really say the top one, because that is just impossible, but I really do like the whole trio of Aragon, Gimli and Legolas…" as you start to ramble Kate obviously gets lost a bit, but it is nice to see you talk about stuff you love.

And the same goes all the other way around.

"(Y/N)! Look!" Kate shows you the new arrows she made with Clint.

"Oh, that is very nice!" You smile as you take on in your hand, "and it´s light, how did you make it so light?"

"It is! First, I started with high-quality carbon shafts because they're super strong and lightweight. Then, I carefully attached the fletchings – those are the feathers at the back to ensure they stabilize the arrow in flight. Then I used a jig to make sure they're perfectly aligned. For the tips, I have a variety of arrowheads, depending on what I need broadheads for hunting, blunted tips for practice, and even some trick arrows with special gadgets."

"So what´s the difference between this one and the one you showed me last week?"

"Oh, good question!" Kate nods. "Last week's arrow was designed for target practice, so it had a simple field point tip and plastic fletchings for durability. This one, though, is a trick arrow… I've added a grappling hook mechanism inside the shaft! The fletchings are a bit more aerodynamic too, made from real feathers for smoother flight. Plus, the nock has a small LED light that activates when it's shot, making it perfect for night missions."

She is always suportive of you, until the whole team is having a game night. Kate can turn into someone sooo competitive and it is just someone else.

"UNO baby!" Pietro yells as he places red one on the table.

That didn´t last long, Wanda put +2 and then Kate did, you did, Yelena did and Pietro had to take 8 cards, which made Pietro almost lose it.

Now it is your turn, "UNO, thank you very much," you put down blue seven. No one has another blue, which is just perfect for you, since your last card is blue six, you are already preparing some winning speech, but then Kate steps in and places +4.

Kate smiles at you, "thank you very much," she mocks you.

And then another round comes and she gives you another +4.

"Can you stop?" You look at her, being slightly frustrated.

"Game is a game, (Y/N)." She shrugs.

The game night ends with Wanda and Yelena laughing, Pietro almost crying, you having 26 cards and Kate winning.

Doing silly quizzes together, you found on the internet. Are you a spoon or a fork?

"You are a definetly a spoon." Kate mumbles as she clicks on some answer on her phone.

"What makes you say that?" You look at her.

"You´re small, cute and you wouldn´t hurt anyone," she says without missing a beat.

"None of that is true… I´m not that small and I could hurt someone."

"I´m taller than you, so yes, you´re small. And you cannot hurt someone." Her bright eyes finally looks into yours.

"Im an Avenger, I have to hurt someone." You are a bit offended.

"Yeah, but like a spoon, you won´t do much damage. Not because you´re weak, but because you choose not to."

"You can poke someone's eye out with spoon though."

Kate nods, "but you only do it in a case of emergency…"

"Who would choose a fork as a weapon?" Kate chuckles at your words.

"That is not the point, (Y/N)."

It turns out, you are really a spoon and she is a fork, but to this day you still have zero idea what it really means. It is still a stupid quizz online at the end of the day.

Showing eachother things that reminded you of eachother.

"I got something for you…" Kate says as she unclips Lucky´s leash.

"You got something for me?" You smile and close your book.

"Yup, now close your eyes and give me your hand." She was outisde so you can feel how cold her hand is, it sends small shivers down your body.

Kate places something small in your hand, it is also cold, you can´t really guess what it is, "open."

When you open your eyes, you look down on your hand, only to find a tiny coffee mug.

You let out a chuckle, "that is so adorable!"

"Tiny mug for an even tinier person." Kate chuckles, "and look inside."

"No way!" In the bottom of the mug, there is small frog painted, it is so tiny you wouldn´t really noticed it is in there.

Her teaching you how to use bow and you being not so perfect at it.

"I though this would be much easier," you say when you have problem to even draw an arrow.

"You need to just take a deep breath and concetnrate on the red dot over there, okay?" Kate whispers while being really close to you, which is not helping.

And you missed again.

"Not bad, at least you released the arrow," she tries to comfort you.

You sigh, "why does it look so easy, it looks so cool, when Katniss is doing it."

Kate´s eyebrow raise, "like Everdeen?"

"You know any other archer who´s name is Katniss?" You turn to face Kate.

"No, but I know better archer than her… me maybe?" You notice that Kate´s posture straightens. She looks offended.

You chuckle and nod, "right, well… I think that Katniss would teach me how to shoot the arrow properly, or at least hit the target." You tease, knowing what will happen.

"Like I can´t do that? Pfff, turn around." Her hands slides on your waist, making your body face the target. Kate taps on your thigh for you to move your leg slightly. "Be straight," that's easier said than done. "And keep your shoulders and your whole back in one line, don´t be too forward or too backwards," she mumbles and her hands slide on your lower back. "Just like that and when you´re feeling ready, just draw the arrow, take a deep breath, release the arrow and exhale."

You did what she told you to, it turns out that listening orders from women is kinda your strenght, and when you released the arrow, it didn´t really hit the middle, but it defiently did hit the target.

"Oh my god! It went over there!" You jump with happiness, "I did it!"

"Yeah you did, that was a good shot." She smirks, "so is Katniss still better archer than me?"

Thank you for reading! <3

[catn4pp]

Schlatt x Reader | Secrets

an: IM SO SORRY.. i kinda went into hibernation during the summer. i start school in 3 days so heres a extraaaa long one to make up for it!!! luv ya <3

—————————————————————————

The evening was buzzing with laughter and clinking glasses as everyone gathered around the table, sharing stories and inside jokes. You sat next to him, your legs brushing against each other under the table. The whole group was in high spirits, completely oblivious to the tension that hummed between the two of you.

As the conversation flowed, his hand slipped beneath the table, brushing against yours. Your heart skipped a beat when his fingers intertwined with yours, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. You glanced at him from the corner of your eye, trying to suppress a smile. He was deep in conversation with someone, acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary, but you could see the corner of his mouth twitching up.

You squeezed back, your thumb lightly tracing circles on the back of his hand. No one noticed—why would they? To everyone else, you were just friends. They didn’t know about the stolen moments like these, the touches that went unseen.

His hand stayed in yours for a while longer, the connection grounding you amidst the chaotic energy around the table. Eventually, he pulled away, his fingers brushing against your thigh before retreating, leaving a lingering warmth in their wake. You missed his touch the moment it was gone, but the night was still young, and you knew there’d be more opportunities to be close.

As the night went on, that warmth never left you. Even as people came and went, vying for his attention.

Even as people came and went, vying for his attention, you couldn't shake the feeling of his touch, like an electric current still running beneath your skin. You leaned back against the bar, watching him with a knowing smile as he casually entertained a group of people. He was in his element, his deep voice carrying over the noise as he cracked jokes and charmed everyone around him.

You noticed a few of the people getting a little too close, their laughs a little too eager, but you weren’t worried. You knew how charismatic he could be, and you also knew that at the end of the night, it was you he’d be coming home to. It was hard not to feel a twinge of possessiveness when you saw someone openly flirting with him, but you pushed it aside. They didn’t know about the secret that only the two of you shared, and that made it all the more special.

He caught your eye from across the room, raising an eyebrow as if to say, “Are you seeing this?” You stifled a laugh, giving him a subtle nod. He excused himself from the group, making his way over to you with that signature smirk on his face.

“Enjoying the show?” he teased, leaning in close enough that you could feel the warmth of his breath on your ear.

“Yeah, it’s pretty entertaining,” you shot back, your voice light and teasing. “But I think the main act’s a little overrated.”

“Oh really?” he quipped, leaning back just enough to catch your gaze. His eyes sparkled with mischief, but beneath it all, you could see the affection he tried so hard to keep hidden in public. “Guess I’ll have to up my game.”

You shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. “You could try, but I think I’ve seen enough to know how it ends.”

He chuckled, the sound low and warm. “You’ve got a point there.” He bumped your shoulder playfully, his fingers grazing your arm for just a moment. It was enough to send a shiver down your spine, reminding you of the connection you shared, even when others tried to steal his attention.

But no matter how much he played along with the attention, you both knew where his heart truly was. As the night wore on, and the party began to wind down, you found yourself lingering near the hallway, waiting for the right moment. He had been occupied most of the night, surrounded by friends and admirers, but you could tell he was looking for an excuse to disappear for a while.

When your eyes met again, you tilted your head toward the hallway, giving him a pointed look. Without a word, he excused himself from the conversation and casually made his way over to you.

You didn’t need to say anything as you grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hallway, away from the prying eyes of the partygoers. The house was large enough that it didn’t take long to find a quiet, dark corner where you could finally be alone.

As soon as you were out of sight, he pulled you close, his hands resting on your hips as he leaned in to press his lips to yours. The kiss was urgent, filled with the pent-up desire that had been building all night. You melted into him, your fingers tangling in his hair as you let yourself get lost in the moment.

“I missed you,” he murmured against your lips, his voice husky and breathless.

You smiled, pressing another kiss to his lips before pulling back just enough to meet his gaze. “Missed you too.”

For a while, the two of you stayed there, hidden away in your little corner of the world, stealing kisses and whispered words. The thrill of keeping your relationship secret added an extra layer of intensity to the moment, making it even harder to pull away.

But eventually, you knew you had to. With a sigh, you stepped back, straightening your clothes and trying to regain your composure. He did the same, his hand lingering on your arm for a moment longer before he finally let go.

“Guess we should get back before people start wondering where we went,” you said reluctantly.

“Yeah,” he agreed, though the reluctance in his voice matched yours. “But don’t think this is over. We’ve got plenty of time once we get out of here.”

You grinned, feeling a flutter of excitement at the promise in his words. “Can’t wait.”

The next afternoon, you both found yourselves at his place, enjoying a rare day off together. The chaos of the night before felt like a distant memory, and now you were basking in the comfort of each other’s company. It was one of those lazy afternoons where neither of you had any plans, so you ended up lounging on the couch, watching some random show on TV.

It didn’t take long for the banter to start. He made a snarky comment about your favorite character, and you couldn’t let it slide. You shot back with a playful insult, and before long, the two of you were in a full-on banter session, tossing playful jabs and sarcastic remarks at each other.

“You’re so wrong,” you laughed, shoving him lightly. “There’s no way that character is as bad as you say!”

“Oh please,” he scoffed, grabbing a pillow and whacking you with it. “You’re just blind to their flaws because you’re obsessed.”

“I am not obsessed!” you protested, grabbing another pillow and retaliating. The two of you ended up in a mock pillow fight, laughing so hard you could barely catch your breath.

He managed to pin you down on the couch, his weight holding you in place as he grinned down at you triumphantly. “Admit it, you’re obsessed,” he teased, his face hovering just inches above yours.

“Never,” you shot back, though your voice was breathless from laughing so much.

For a moment, the two of you just stared at each other, the laughter fading into a comfortable silence. The playful atmosphere shifted, becoming something softer, more intimate. His grin softened into a smile, and he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to your lips.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?” he murmured against your lips, his voice filled with affection.

“You’re the one who started it,” you replied, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer. “But I guess I can forgive you.”

“Lucky me,” he chuckled, kissing you again, this time slower, more lingering. The playful fight was forgotten, replaced by the warmth of being close to each other, the rest of the world fading away.

And as the weeks passed, you found yourselves spending more and more time together, sneaking moments of closeness whenever you could. But the more time you spent together, the harder it became to keep your relationship under wraps. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to tell your friends—you just enjoyed the thrill of sneaking around, of having something that was just yours. But you couldn’t deny that people were starting to notice.

One evening, you were hanging out at a mutual friend’s house, surrounded by your usual group of friends. It was supposed to be a casual get-together, but you couldn’t help but feel like there were more eyes on the two of you than usual.

As the night went on, you noticed that people were whispering more, exchanging glances whenever you were together. It was subtle, but it was there, and it made you a little uneasy.

Later, when you found a moment alone in the kitchen, you voiced your concerns. “I think our friends are getting a little suspicious of why we’re hanging out all the time.”

He raised an eyebrow, leaning against the counter with a smirk. “You think?”

“I’m serious,” you said, leaning in closer so no one else could hear. “I don’t think we’re being as discreet as we thought.”

He shrugged, though you could tell he was thinking it over. “Maybe. But I don’t think anyone’s figured it out yet.”

“Yeah, but if we’re not careful, they will.”

He chuckled, reaching out to take your hand, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “Well, maybe that’s not such a bad thing. What’s the worst that could happen if they found out?”

You bit your lip, considering his words. You hadn’t really thought about it before, but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if your friends knew. After all, they were your friends—they’d probably be happy for you.

“I guess you’re right,” you admitted, squeezing his hand. “But let’s still try to keep it on the down-low for now. At least until we’re ready.”

“Fair enough,” he said, though there was a hint of something else in his voice, something you couldn’t quite place.

You didn’t think much of it at the time, but it lingered in the back of your mind, even as the night went on. The group eventually moved from the kitchen back to the living room, where someone suggested a movie night. Everyone settled in, and before long, you were all sprawled out on the couches and floor, snacks scattered everywhere.

At some point during the movie, you caught him glancing at you, a small smile playing on his lips. You smiled back, the ease of the moment making you forget about the earlier tension. But then, as he reached over to pass you a drink, it slipped out.

“Here you go, Toots.”

The room went quiet for a split second, and you could feel the eyes of your friends on you. Your heart skipped a beat, and you quickly tried to play it off.

“Oh, come on,” you said with a dramatic roll of your eyes, dripping with sarcasm. “You’re really going with ‘toots’? What is this, a cheesy rom-com?”

As you tried to deflect with sarcasm, the tension in the room lightened just a bit, and everyone laughed, assuming you were just messing around. But you couldn’t ignore the slight slip-up. He caught your eye, and there was a flicker of concern in his gaze—just for a moment—before he shook it off and went back to the movie as if nothing had happened.

The rest of the night passed without incident, but the close call was enough to keep you both on edge. As you left the gathering and headed back to his place, the conversation that had been hovering in the background for weeks finally bubbled to the surface.

“We’ve gotta be more careful,” you said quietly as you both walked through the door. The air in his apartment felt different tonight, like the weight of the secret was starting to settle more heavily between you.

“I know,” he agreed, closing the door behind him. He leaned against it, running a hand through his hair. “But it’s getting harder, you know?”

You nodded, dropping your bag on the floor and kicking off your shoes. “Yeah. I mean, it’s not just our friends anymore—it’s the fans, too. If they found out…”

He sighed, pushing off the door and walking over to you. “If they found out, it would be chaos. You know how intense they can get.” He reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch gentle. “But I’m getting tired of hiding. Aren’t you?”

You leaned into his touch, closing your eyes for a moment. “I am. But at the same time, I like what we have. I like that it’s just ours, without anyone else getting in the way.”

He smiled softly, his thumb brushing against your cheek. “Yeah, I get that. But sometimes I wish I could just hold your hand in public, or kiss you without worrying about who’s watching.”

You opened your eyes, meeting his gaze. There was something vulnerable there, something you hadn’t seen before. “Do you want to tell them?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

He hesitated, his hand dropping to his side as he took a step back. “I don’t know. I do, but I don’t. I just… I kind of don’t want us to be a secret anymore, but I don’t want to lose what we have, either.”

The silence that followed was heavy, filled with the weight of everything you both wanted but couldn’t have. You understood his struggle because you felt it too. The secrecy was thrilling, but it was also exhausting, and the longer it went on, the more it felt like a ticking time bomb.

“What if we take it slow?” you suggested after a moment, breaking the silence. “Maybe we start by telling a few close friends, see how it goes, and then… we’ll figure out the rest.”

He looked at you for a long moment, considering your words. Finally, he nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Yeah, I think that could work. As long as we’re in this together.”

“Always,” you promised, stepping forward to wrap your arms around him. He held you close, his chin resting on top of your head as you both stood there, taking comfort in each other’s presence.

“Let’s start with our friends,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your temple. “And we’ll take it from there. No rush.”

“Agreed,” you whispered back, closing your eyes and letting yourself relax into his embrace. The future was uncertain, but as long as you had each other, you knew you’d figure it out.

For now, though, you’d enjoy the quiet moments like this—just the two of you, away from prying eyes and the pressures of the outside world. Because no matter what happened, you knew that at the end of the day, he was yours, and that was all that mattered.

—————————————————————————

[strongheartneteyam]

Realize where you belong.

Pairing: neteyam sully x female!dreamwalker!reader/female!human!reader

Chapter 5

CW: dubious consent, mentions of NON CON, neteyam yearning for reader, angst all over, you can see the sexual tension with your naked eyes, possessive neteyam, feelings of general and sexual confusion, mentions of sexual fluids, talks of being sexually aroused, sexual content, tsaheylu is mentioned, reader is still scared of Neteyam but she longs for him too, fear kink (if you squint), mentions of blood, size kink (if you really squint), primal [hunter/prey] kink (if you squint HARD), crying, strong language, the word "harassment" is mentioned, MAY BE TRIGGERING to some people, mentions of exophilia, indecisive reader, heartbroken Neteyam, heartbroken reader. Please, tell me if I missed anything important!

I slept a lot during the day yesterday and was up until late with my bf having dinner, watching YouTube etc and, when he went to sleep, I was restless, still didn't feel like sleeping so, I decided to edit and finish this chapter that was being kept in my Docs for way too long, it was getting dusty 😂 So, I might have stayed up until morning in the zone editing and finishing this 👀 I'm REALLY sleepy and exhausted rn, so, if some parts of this chapter don't really make sense, try to have empathy for my poor tired being and forgive me <3 I'm aware that I'm a hot mess who has insomnia and needs to get a grip and not put her art above healthy sleeping habits but what can I do? I'm one of those chaotic artists who have a hectic, unstable life and feel the most alive when they're immersed in their craft, running away from their problems, pouring their whole soul into their works 🤷🏻‍♀️

Not proofread. Me. too. tired. 💤  I'll do it ASAP! hope you guys like this. 🤍😘 comments will ALWAYS be incredibly appreciated.

Chapter 4

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

From lashes to ashes and from lust to dust

In your sweetest torment I am lost

And we sense the danger but don't want to give up

It's heartache every moment, from the start 'til the end

It's heartache every moment with you

Heartache Every Moment (HIM)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You stared at Neteyam, at his big face, covered with stripes and fascinating bioluminescent freckles, leaving unique patterns all over his blue skin.

Even though he was kneeling down, doing everything he could to seem smaller and not so scary, to make you feel less intimidated by his size, his face was still way above your eyes, you still felt your neck hurt a little when you had to look up - straining your muscles, already sore from working too much - to gaze at his eyes.

"Oh, paskalin" (honey) "I could make you feel so good, you don't even know..." he was now even closer to you - you didn't even think it was possible but there he was, his massive frame making you feel smaller than ever. Fear of him snapping at you, in case you did something that didn't please, and hurting you was taking over your mind. You didn't know that Omatikaya boy, how could you trust him? "Give me a chance, be my mate and lemme show you how much pleasure I can give you, how I can make you feel safe and fulfilled in my arms after we make love. Like no fucking human male could ever do. Not like I would." Neteyam's fangs got prominent at that moment, and you could tell he was restraining himself from hissing at the thought of a human man having you in his arms. God, that had a name...

"Obsession." you thought

Despite those horrible feelings you were experiencing, his foreign accent still sounded weird but strangely fascinating to your ears, simultaneously. You hated yourself for feeling drawn to Neteyam, even though he was clearly stepping over your limits. You didn't know if maybe it was a na'vi courtship behavior for the male to get this close to the female, even if she hadn't shown any signs of wanting him to. But Neteyam wasn't exactly courting you, you thought. It was more like... straight up harassment, at least in human culture.

Your breath became heavier inside your oxygen mask when you thought about him using his fangs to draw blood from your skin in case you were able to be fast enough to go past where he was kneeling down next to you, and, tried to run away. With his incredibly slender, toned legs he could easily catch up with you in a millisecond and grab you, being free to do whatever he wanted to your small, defenseless human body. That thought made you feel like someone was knotting your intestines tight.

"Eywa... You're just so fucking pretty, even in this demon form, that I... I wanna do to you, right now, all I've been dreaming about, since I first saw you and you made my blood run hotter through my veins, such a fire you ignited inside me, syulang..." (flower)

Neteyam's breath was so heavy once out of his nostrils, clouding your mask, like he's controlling his urges, trying to hold back from touching you. You felt your knees weaken, fear and tension being the reasons why.

"Y-you don't want me, Neteyam. Not really. You just think you do. You're only intrigued by me because I look different from the girls you're used to. The na'vi girls." You didn't know how but you dug deep inside your chest and found the courage there to say that, looking into the alien's eyes.

Neteyam chuckled faintly, air coming out of his nose, in disbelief

"How can you say such thing, hì’i?"

"Hì..hì?" You tried to pronounce what you had just heard, in vain. You had no idea what that na'vi word meant. It's not like you knew that much of the na'vi language, anyway. You only knew the basic stuff that you had to study and learn to be able pass one of the tests that would determine if you were ready to get an Avatar body from the lab

"Hì'i." He corrected you, smiling wide and laughing quite a bit. "You're so silly and cute. Hì'i means "small in size" in my people's language. You are small, in this current physical form. But, let's talk about what's most important: what makes you think I don't really want you?"

"Because I am a demon to you, as you said. I am a human girl, not a na'vi girl." you said, rage slipping through your eyes. Why the hell was that crazy na'vi guy calling you a "demon", saying that he wants you sexually and calling you pet names, all at once?

"But you have an Avatar body. Nothing is preventing you from having your consciousness transferred for good to that body. If my father did it, so can you." The alien said, full of confidence. You wondered if he was going insane.

"And what makes you think I wanna do it?"

“My tawtute," (human) "I can smell you. I know you want me too. You're wet for me. Don't forget my senses are way sharper than what you're used to" Neteyam smiles calmly while enjoying the way your scent hit his nostrils. You felt your face flood with color, so much blood going directly to that part of your body as you felt incredibly embarassed when you heard those words. You had just realized your panties were soaked. "And, I'm sorry, but I have to tell you… Your juices smell so fucking delicious. You're driving me insane right now, yawne. I think that, at the end of the day, becoming my mate and making tsaheylu with me wouldn't be such a horrible experience for you."

Your thoughts cursed at you like crazy: "Damn it!! I must be kidding my own self!! Having a slight crush on him is one thing, getting fucking wet for him is something totally different! Do I have a fear kink, a rape kink or am I just into freaking exophilia?! For real, girl... There's gotta be something extremely wrong with you for you to be this turned on by the thought of this alien guy taking you by force."

"You're crazy! I'm not gonna be your mate! Just fucking let me go!" You wondered if you had just lost your mind to say and do that to Neteyam, being currently in your human body (if you were Dreamwalking it would obviously be safer) but you couldn't take all that was happening at that moment anymore. Your heart was beating too fast, like you were about to have a cardiac arrest. It was too much. You were overwhelmed.

You caught Neteyam off guard, the words you shouted stinged him so hard it left his very heart wounded, the muscles throbbing in pain. You noticed he seemed hurt, the sides of his mouth curled down faintly and his cat like ears were pointing towards the ground.

You felt bad for hurting his feelings. Even though he was disrespecting you, there was still enough empathy inside you to make you feel bad for making him suffer. You did not enjoy hurting people.

You inhaled and exhaled, trying to calm your nerves and, finally, you said:

"Look, I don't mean to be rude, even though you honestly deserve it. There's no excuse for what you're doing. You can't force me to be your mate. I'm not even na'vi! And don't start with that "You have an Avatar body" thing, please!" You breathe in deeply and let the air out slowly "I'm not your dad and I don't intend to follow his steps. I know very well I could die if I tried to go past Eywa's eye. Even if I wanted to get my consciousness transferred forever to my Avatar form, it's too damn risky. Plus, what makes you think I'd ever do it for you? I barely know you." You sighed, exhausted from it all. "Let me go back to my room. Please…?"

Neteyam looked tired and he was starting to feel defeated, like a soldier fighting in the front lines of a war who was losing his stamina after shooting way too many enemies in a very short period of time.

"I just wish you could…" it's like the words felt too rough against his throat, like it was too hard to talk at that moment "... could see that I won't hurt you." He sighed again "I know it feels weird and I'm big and scary, like you say…" His heart hurt at the reminder of your tough words "But I promise you - and I take promises very seriously. My parents taught me to do so, ever since I was old enough to understand their words - I would never lay a finger you." The expression on his face looked utterly serious, like he truly meant it. "Ever."

"You're hurting me with your actions, your words... the way you talk about me, about my body. I don't know about your culture, but it's pretty disrespectful in mine. I feel violated. I do think most of what the human race considers right or wrong is just bullshit, dumb society rules made up by even dumber people. But I have to agree with them on this one." You said

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, hì’i tawtute." (small human) Neteyam looked down at the floor and there was shame all over his face

"Opening my window for you was a mistake."

Neteyam looked at you with eyes filled with sadness

He got back on his feet and stepped away from you, staying now arguably a good amount of steps away from where you were standing.

"Please, don't say that…" Neteyam pleaded with tears in his eyes

"I'm sorry. I have to go."

༊⁀➷

Once you got back to your room, took your oxygen mask out of your face on autopilot and closed the window, you stared for a while at Neteyam's oddly tall figure, still standing in front of your room.

You looked at him and your heart broke. He looked so hurt. His big yellow irises shone insanely in the dark of the eclipse. But his eyes were tainted with tears. His dark braids fell onto his shoulders perfectly. He was incredibly beautiful. But why could you only let your guard down when he was away from you? When you were behind a glass and he was standing on the other side? It broke your heart to do that. But you also knew he was being too much. Too eager. Stepping over your limits and making you uncomfortable. But what if that was just his na'vi nature? You had heard before that the na'vi were humanoid but still animalistic. Maybe it was just… his primal instincts to find a mate. You wondered if maybe you were being too harsh on him. But you still felt like you could not and should not trust him. Even though you wanted to. 

You watched him walk away, his shoulders pointing downwards, his posture showing he knew he had lost that battle.

You wondered if he would come back or if he would give up on you. You felt so idiotic. Why did you want him to come back? He was not treating you the way he should be, with respect for your boundaries.

You felt so confused. There was a lump in your throat. You felt like you were about to cry too.

Your hands were cold and you were feeling anxious and your chest was filled with angst. You wanted to scream Neteyam's name and ask him to come back.  But you did not. You knew you shouldn't. It could awake someone. It could be dangerous. You should not trust Neteyam, you kept repeating in your mind.

Your feet started to move, almost as if they did it on their own, because it felt like your mind was somewhere else, like your brain was occupied with something else other than sending a message to your feet and tell them to take you back to your bed. You were lost in your thoughts. Dazed as hell. 

Once you laid on your bed and covered your body with the warm sheets, you felt a sinking feeling of sadness and guilt bruising your chest. Hot, painful tears streamed down your face and the lump in your throat intensified. Why were you crying? And why were you thinking about Neteyam Suli while you cried?

You wondered if he could imagine that you were now crying, just like he was when he left.

༊⁀➷

Taglist:

@kitsunefirewail @tumblingdevils @a-blog-name-2003 @xylobee @nerdybouquetofkittens-blog @henhouse-horrors @lala-1516 @xylianasblog @samistars @crazy4books1 @explosiongamora @lik0 @your-girl-mj @darktyrantwinner @sereisstuff @yeosxxx @die4niyahhh @iman-lu @manumanulau @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @hana-yuri @thehoneymushroomhealer @melllinaa @annaibansworld @siriuslysmoking @avatar4eva @ellabellabus07 @badbishsblog @neteyamsmate4life

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere Radioactive Apocalypse

The constant upset and warring provinces have prepared the world for the worst. Before the blowout, many thought it wise to pay for a bunker for the oncoming atomic apocalypse. Most of the population couldn’t afford to do so, let alone believe that it would be needed. 

They’d be wrong.

Whether you are one of the unsuspecting public or a passive believer, average day life doesn’t have you safely tucked in a bunker when the initial alarms go off. You are smooshed against others in a large crowd all watching and listening in awe. But the moment one person screams it's all over. The crowd twists and turns pulling you in no specific direction. As the final alarms ring out an arm pulls you through the chaotic crowd and into a bunker full of others reeling at the recent events. So here you find that you are trapped safely in the stifling and well-furnished  Atomic Bunker. 

“Who pulled me in here?”

“Does it matter! You survived the initial blast, didn’t you? Ungrateful twat.”

“No need to be hostile, little brother. It's natural to be vexed after watching the world end. Right in front of you.”

“Oh, all those poor souls!”

“My lady, your handkerchief.”

“My baby! My baby! I didn’t grab them! Oh, my poor baby!”

“There there, we’re all very shaken up—”

“B-b-b-but y-y-y-your still smiling—.”

“We are all dealing with the pain in different ways. But let's all take a breather and relax.”

“You don’t sound all that upset to me either.”

“I can say the same thing to you, but I guess you’re just happy to be off the streets, right?’

“Oi!”

Hearing the cacophony of such a colorful cast distracts from the initial fear. Their voices remind you that you're not suffering like the rest of those unfortunate people. They allow you to cry with an audience of fellow mourners and those who can keep calm easily. Before you can let the silence set in, they pull you back with their bickering. It's always either one or two of them that is always voicing their concerns. There’s always a voice of reason, something you’re grateful for as you desperately search for a distraction. 

“Everyone! I believe introductions are in order! I am the middle child of the Penz household as well as the main manager of the bunker.”

With a blonde head of hair and a funky sense of style, his smile persists. Uvil Penz is an interesting guy as you’ll come to find. Aside from smiling during the ongoing onslaught of atomic warfare he always has a way of looking on the bright side for better or worse. 

“Oh, my baby!” 

“Now please miss dry your tears, there are plenty of toys down here to distract yourself with.”

His optimism is surely unique as you can’t quite place where it may stem from. On one hand, you could see it as an unemotional response with an attempt to soothe. But you’ll see him laugh genuinely or offer insight into a person’s emotions. On the other hand, it may come from a sly condescending perspective. It fits right along with his brothers’ behavior. But the way he works to compliment you often, attempting to keep your spirits high, or how he’ll make a request for your favorite foods to be scavenged makes you think otherwise. 

“(Y/n)?”

“Huh? Uh yeah?”

“Did ya know: you’re gorgeous even with those tear streaks on your face.”

“What?”

“I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while now, but I think you really needed to hear that now.”

Or maybe that’s just you because you have a hard time believing Uvil trying to be soothing when he’s smiling widely after making someone cry. But it's hard to be decisive about liking or disliking the blonde as he could very well be the one who grabbed your wrist and pulled you in. On top of that, he allows everyone to stay even as opportunity knocks on the bunker door. As long as you don’t mind his ever-present smile and disconnected sympathy life will be great.

“I, Uvil Penz welcome you to the Penz bunker. Now little brother, go on. Introduce yourself.”

“Eugh! Get off me! Ugh, my name’s William and I know this bunker better than anyone else. So better learn to respect me!” 

He’s certainly not like his brother. At least not on the surface. With black short hair and a disgusted sneer constantly on his face. He doesn’t bother comforting anyone at least not in the typical way. Any advice or comfort is said through gritted teeth or with an annoyed click of his tongue.

“Look, if yer gonna keep crying do it in one of the soundproof rooms. You're bothering those of us who want to think!”

Not to mention he’s the first to point out your insecurities or make fun of you for grieving at all. Don’t worry you’re not the only one, he goes just as hard if not harder on everyone else. Making sure everyone is well aware that the whole group knows of their problems. Usually snickering or outright laughing at whoever he’s decided to victimize. At one point, everyone will be annoyed with him. As much as he loves to boast about it he is the only one who knows how to maintain the bunker. 

“Gosh, you are such a pain in the–”

“Don’t forget who knows how to start up the generator…so unless you want to enjoy life without lights, you’ll put your fists down.”

“Ugh! Fine.”

“Thank you…meathead.”

“YOU LITTLE-”

Despite his arrogance, his snarky jabs, and the weirdly endearing way he seeks you out the atomic apocalypse wouldn’t be the same without him. For as annoying and degrading as he may be, he’s still willing to share his switch with you when you’re feeling particularly bored. Making sure you can’t see his face when he pokes the controller against your cheek. 

“Come on. You’re bored aren’t you?”

“You…want me to play with you?”

“Well duh! So…are you?”

“I-I’d love to!”

Not to mention he knows the cheat codes to all the games in the arcade room. And if you do him small favors he’ll share his limited edition ramen with you. Now he may ask for your undergarments or your toothbrush but that’s nothing in the endless days spent in the bunker. After all, it's better than the atomic aftermath out there and according to the only Penz willing to go out there, you wouldn’t last a day.

“Well, my introduction’s done. Marc!”

“Yeah yeah, ‘sup everyone. I’m Marco.”

The eldest of the Penz brothers is concerningly nonchalant from the very beginning of your stay in the bunker. With his girlfriend on his arm and an easy-going attitude, he doesn’t really bother to comfort anyone other than her. Except maybe you. 

“Hey didn’t take you for a late-night snacker. You okay?”

“I’m—fine, excuse me.”

“Whoa whoa, lil’ bunny. Don’t run away just yet, the wolf has questions.”

“Please just–I’ll go back to the room.”

“Nah-ah sit bunny.”

“But you took the only chair.”

“Right here, bunny. We’ve got all night.”

Supposedly, he was quite the womanizer before he got with his current girlfriend. Will makes a point to mention it anytime anyone you is found flustered or flattered by his attention. Even so, he doesn’t let that stop him from caging you against the bunker walls to ask for something. Or teasing you when he retrieves something from outside the bunker. 

“Come on just grab it.”

“Why are you holding it there? Just hand it to me normally!”

“So rude. I don’t feel like complying with a fussy bunny who doesn’t use their words.”

“Ugh! Fine. Please just hand it to me normally.”

“Ha no.”

“WHY NOT?!”

“It’s perfectly fine just grab it, babe. I don’t mind if you touch me along the way.”

For all his teasing and carefree behavior, he’s a good scavenger. Able and willing to brave the atomic wasteland when the bunker needs supplies. He’s strong and prepared to take on any unruly travelers who come by or intervene during scavenger hunts. 

He’s not all that opinionated when it comes to debates in the bunker. More excited to grab a snack and watch the chaos unfold. Smiling lightly as things get heated and tensions rise. In that way, he’s like an idle NPC but the second his boundaries are crossed then you have to deal with the rare and angry Will. 

“C-calm down Will…y-your not going to k-kill him right?”

“He’s the one who thought inviting our bunker-mates to play in that wasteland was a good idea.”

“Honey, it’s okay! (Y/n) didn’t actually go, right? So it’s okay, right Fin?”

“Yes, my lady is correct.”

It’s just better for everyone that no one gets on his bad side. And that everyone doesn’t mess with the things that make him happy: His peace, his girlfriend's peace, and your peace the happiness of specific bunker mates.

“Oh yeah, this my girl.”

“Um hello everyone. My name is Aria, Aria Mensloth. Marco was the one who brought me here.”

“Lucky you, I bet he’s the only one willing.”

“...Oh uhm yes I am quite grateful. I hope we can all get along.”

Aria is the sheltered blue-haired girlfriend of the eldest Penz brother. Opposites attract because, despite his immense uncaring personality, she’s generally more caring. Trying to check up on everyone she can even if her privileged life brings more misunderstandings than intended. 

“You seem upset, is it perhaps because you skipped breakfast this morning?”

“Uh no.”

“Oh well, for me this is a bigger change from the usual three-course breakfast I’m used to.”

“Okay…”

“Do you not know what that is like?”

She has the best intentions but she’s still learning. Too bad for her the ones in this bunker she is familiar with don’t bother correcting her or informing her unless directly asked. Her boyfriend would sooner chuckle and play with her hair than fill in the blanks. Her butler refuses to say much else than what is needed. So guess who she decides to attach herself to? You, of course. You're the most normal lovely bunker mate around and you don’t immediately insult her when she seeks to shadow you as you navigate your life in the bunker. 

“Ah, so you pick your own clothes out. How fascinating!” 

“Uhm Aria don’t you do the same?”

“Oh no, my butler picks everything out for me. It’s always been that way.”

“Oh…Would you want to try picking out your own clothes, sometime?”

“For myself? Oh no, I’m far too inexperienced….but maybe I could help pick out your outfits!”

“Wait–”

“Does that sound like a good idea, Butler Fin? Can we do it?”

“I see no problem with that my lady.”

“Oh good!”

As Will’s girlfriend, she’s an important person to keep happy. Wouldn’t want to deny her, especially when her beloved boyfriend is working so hard for the rest of the bunker. Not to mention her butler with an ominous gaze who is more than willing to exact her every wish. No matter how invasive it is to your privacy. You’ll have to be careful with your words. Wouldn’t want to make her cry...right?

“Aria, don’t.”

“Ari! Call me Ari!” 

“Ari sorry okay! I just don’t want to bathe with you, so please get off.”

“Y-you’re not trying to leave me, are you?! Didn’t Uvil tell us not to waste any supplies!? So please let me join!”

For as pushy as Aria can be, calling her out on her behavior or offering to tattle on her to her boyfriend usually gets her off your back. But where she lacks persistence, her butler makes up for it. 

“Hello everyone, I am the Mensloth Butler Finster. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

Finster or Fin, is like any depiction of a dutiful butler come to life. Even with the threat of the atomic apocalypse, he’s still maintaining his mistress throughout. He doesn’t talk much outside of responding to Aria and occasionally the Penz brothers. 

“...”

“Look butler-man, if you’re goin’ to make breakfast why not feed us all?”

“...”

“Butler Fin.”

“Yes, my lady?”

“Can you make breakfast for Will, (Y/n), and me?”

“Yes, of course, my lady.”

“Wow….really?!”

You’ll find when he’s alone he can speak without addressing his mistress only when he wants to. But he seems to enjoy your company, especially during the night cycle when Aria is fast asleep. He smiles openly with you, cracking jokes about the day he appeared numb to before. 

“Well, it seems as though you were right about them. Fighting with each other like chickens in a coop.”

“Right? I thought I’d be the only one who noticed.”

“Please your observations are hardly wrong, it helps that we can talk like this with each other. Helps us remember how to communicate. I really appreciate that you’re willing to.”

“Oh uh, no problem I like talking to you too..”

“No, thank you (Y/n). I doubt I could hold any level of sanity if it weren’t for you.”

When push comes to shove, he is capable of holding his own in a debate. His actions can be interpreted as that of a selfless and devoted butler. But it can also be read as that of someone with their own agenda—something practically impossible to decipher by his behavior alone.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for (Y/n) to leave the bunker, either.”

“Y-your actually s-s-speaking? On your own?”

“Well, I bet it’s only because he wants his master lady to not cry like a baby!”

“Was that your intention, Finnster?”

“...My lady, is my top priority at all times.”

It’s a nice illusion though, that he’d be a somewhat normal character, considering he’s often the only one whom you can hold a normal conversation with, without walking away thinking he’s obsessed with you. But his actions do. Oftentimes, watching his behavior without his explanation would make anyone worry.

“Excuse me?”

“I just wanted to ask about you pushing Aria that one time. Why would you do that?”

“Push? Push?! Oh no you’ve got it all wrong, I was attempting to support her back as we looked at the sewer. She did lose her footing but as you saw Marco and I caught her all the same.”

“Oh okay sorry, for misjudging.”

“It’s fine, though I’d be quick to forgive if you joined in some baking with me.”

Always good at conversation, and always willing to help, Butler Finn is a friend to confide in. Someone to talk to about the odd behaviors and conversations you've had with others. One of the other ones you can talk to about this would be your resident walking encyclopedia. 

“H-h-h-hi e-e-everyone I’m S-S-Simpson G-G-g-gron, Will b-b-brought me here.”

He’s like a stereotype incarnated, listing off all sorts of facts you would have never found yourself dedicated to remembering. With a stutter at the beginning of every sentence, Simpson refuses any sort of leadership, very similar to Will’s approach. Rather than having a bonafide position to argue when debates happen he prefers to chime in with what he knows for sure. 

“Look, the sooner we head out. The sooner we can all actually eat something real.”

“But you realize what the risk of leaving may mean, right?”

“The world burned away! Yeah, I got it.”

“A-a-a-actucally I think Uvil sir is r-r-referring to radiation posioning.”

“What?!” 

“The atomic b-b-b-bomb is not only the bringer of destruction, b-b-b-but a disease bringer.”

When he’s not bringing up important information he’s hanging around Will, stuttering a lot less and talking technically with one another. While Will is prickly, he’s able to properly articulate what he knows while also hurting your feelings. Simpson on the other hand…just can’t. It’s something you’ll try working with him on but once he gets going he just can’t stop.

“Okay let’s try this—why should I consider learning code?”

“Well…i-i-it’ll help y-y-y-you understand the programs you use the m-m-m–m-m-most?”

“Good. Now how so?”

“Well..learningtheintricaciesofcodingwillnotonlyallowyoutomanipulateyourownprograms–”

“Okay—now hold on–”

“Butintheendlearningthecodecsnotonlyallowanyonetoknowthesourcesofthewebsitesthatfunctionwithai–”

“Hey-wait!”

“IsitnotwisetolearnwhattheoneswhowillsurvivethistragedyworkthroughyoureyeslookasenchantingaseverAnywaythereallanguagetheyworkwithnowisbinarycodebutthatshouldn’tbe.”

“And there he goes.”

The real advantage of this though is his ability to return the favor of listening to his rambles. He happily listens to yours and comes with questions you’d only find yourself answering in an imaginary interview. But the adoring indigo-green gaze behind those iconic square glasses makes it impossible not to appreciate him. Not to mention, he and Will are the only two who religiously compete with you in the arcade room.

“Ack–that move is illegal!”

“Actually it's quite the opposite, really. This is the rule within the actual manual of the game’s lore–”

“Yeah, (Y/n) don’t be a crybaby you didn’t do your studying.”

“But you hid all the gaming manuals from me!” 

“Well, you are the one who bet something unspecified of yours. It would be unwise not to sabotage you.”

“Ack-! To be admitting it so openly!”

“No use lying about our tactics now that we are guaranteed a win.”

As the most obvious voice of reason, it isn’t a bad idea to be in his good graces. It also makes it harder to believe your own observations when you listen to his. Able to look at the bigger picture while you only have your snapshot or so he says. 

“But doesn’t this kind of product, have dire consequences for eating past the expiration date? And wasn’t there some craze about the aphrodisiac effects it has?”

“That’s a widely spread misconception, the craze was actually about the dopamine rush from the expired product.”

“Really? I’m pretty sure I remember the fanfics celebrating the stuff.”

“You are mistaken!”

“Uh okay.”

So if there’s anyone to rely on it’d be him. He may not be able to care for you as well as some of the others in the bunker. Or be as concerned as others but he’s trying his best. Of course, others may not even heed any of his efforts. Then again some of them hold themselves very highly. 

“Oh, my baby!”

“Miss are you okay to talk or–”

“My name’s Henrietta Spitz! What’s your name?”

“Uhm (Y/n).”

“(Y/n)! Oh (Y/n) I’m so sad!” 

Henrietta is probably one of the oddest characters in the bunker. Known as the distraught young mother who was dragged in by one of the…good samaritans within the bunker. If you aren’t swallowed by grief you’ll be swallowed by hers because she doesn’t let anyone forget what she’s gone through. 

“Wahhh~(Y/n) can I sleep with you?!”

“Uhm why would you need to?”

“I used to sleep with my baby at night. It’d just help me loads if your warm soft body next to mine.”

“Just like your…baby?”

“Yes, just like them~!”

But when she’s not wailing into your chest about her lost child, she’ll start up with a new…grieving routine. One that revolves around you drinking her milk…right from the tap that is. You want to argue with her–put a stop to this weird practice that she seems deadset that you be the only participant. But she cries aaalllll the time. If she isn’t set on fussing over you or forcing you to ‘help’ her grieving she whines and screams bothering everyone in the bunker. So you’ll take one for the team…right?

“I-I have milk for everyone!”

“ We have rations Miss so it's not an issue.”

“B-b-but we might run out! It’ll stop coming if it’s not drunken up!”

“Then perhaps the breast pump you had in your bag would be helpful.”

“B–b-but to keep this up I need to have a hungry mouth on there. It just won’t be the same.”

On top of that, her fleeting sadness for her child seems to conveniently leave her countenance the second it’s too inconvenient. It’s not all that obvious at first, easily being written off as her healing grief. But when she uses it for her own agenda so obviously it’s a little hard to take her seriously.

“STOP CLINGING TO (Y/N)!”

“Nooo! I want them to spend time with me!”

“It isn’t healthy to keep them locked up in your room like this. And (Y/n) you want to leave, don’t you? Finally, get to stretch your legs?”

“Yeah, I–”

“You can’t!”

“Why not?”

“I-I-I-My baby!?”

“What?”

“If you leave, the thoughts of my baby will come back and I just can’t bear it. (Y/n) please!”

Some will argue that what she’s doing is projecting her idea of her baby onto you. That she’s stuck in a psychosis that revolves around the one who she feels is meek enough to baby. But a grieving mother who would be projecting wouldn't do what she does. Everyone grieves differently but it’s the nature of her advancements that might lead anyone to suspect she’s not as motherly as she seems.

“Oh~(Y/n)~!”

“Yes?”

“Did you know something else my baby did?”

“Uhm what?”

“They’d let me wash them all over. And give kisses to me–”

“Okay.”

“On the mouth with an open mouth!”

“Okay? And?!”

It raises some concerning questions and speculations about her story. And how she was able to make it inside the bunker when everyone separately admits they did no such thing as lead her in. Or how she often mixes up the name of the child she seems so stuck on grieving. 

At the end of the day, she’s friendly to you…and maybe only you. She’s quick with her own insults the second anyone goes to question her or make their suspicions known. That and she seems to wryly refer to some hidden piece of information that keeps everyone from encroaching on her behavior. 

With all that being said. She’s definitely not one to forget for her attention to you, barely rivaled by the self-appointed scavenger and protector of you+ the bunker.

“I’m Grant and that’s all you need to know for now. I’ve got questions.”

“Ask a way, Grant.”

“Why do you even have this big of a bunker?”

“Is it so bad that we thought of comfort before the world’s end?”

“...I don’t buy it.”

If there was someone you’d expect to be the main character of some dystopian novel it’d be him. Cynical, confident, and muscled like no other, he becomes the bunker’s prime protector. Despite openly not trusting the Penz brothers he is the first to demand they do something when problems arise. While he’ll sooner croak than admit he relies on them, he does often light the fire for action from the prickly trio. 

“So what are you going to do about this?”

“Hm? Are you acknowledging me as the leader now?”

“No, but if everyone else has already I’d rather not rock the boat.”

“How benevolent of you!”

“Grrr.”

Hotheaded but not impulsive Grant becomes a significant facet of the group. Especially since the bunker needs more supplies. Brave and bold enough he’s willing to dawn the Hazmat suit and venture into the rumored wasteland that remains. It helps that he goes out of his way to help you settle and find your stance as the world goes through change.

“Hey. Here's some of the stuff I brought back. From the address you gave me.”

“Grant! This is-! I’m so surprised it even survived!”

“There wasn’t too much left but it was small enough and I thought it would survive the cleaning process.”

“Grant, really thank you!”

“...I-it’s no problem, you’re just lucky the blast didn’t damage it all too much.”

You’ll find he’s a compassionate guy at heart hardened by some terrible past he occasionally alludes to. But that harsh exterior tends to make up most of his image. Which can often lead to the group having…misconceptions about his personality.

“For a stupid delinquent that guy’s awful complex.”

“Speak for yourself! He keeps trying to tell me what to do!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah! He said the time I spend hanging out with (Y/n) is unhealthy! What a nosy brat, criticizing my grieving process.”

“...Whatever."

The animosity for certain members of the bunker would become all too clear for you as the days pass. Such behavior is natural for those trapped in the same tight quarters. The same tight quarters that you can’t seem to leave; forced to watch these characters destroy themselves as they fight over something you.+ 

“Oh, guess it's my turn my name’s–”

“We’re happy you're here (Y/n).”

“Yes, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you!” 

“Nice to make your acquaintance.”

“We are all happy to meet you, (Y/n)!”

“Pft, suck-ups. Welcome, I guess.”

“I-I-I-I-I hope w-w-we can be close.”

“Oh (Y/n), you remind me so much of my lost little love! C’mere!”

“Hey Guys! Give them space!” 

The coming months will certainly be almost as chaotic as the world’s declining state. With your new family den of lions, surely there’s a sliver of a chance that you’ll thrive in the radioactive apocalypse. 

It’s best you start documenting your adventure now….

[lonepantheress]

i really love you

☆ pairing: kim gyuvin x reader

☆ genre: angst mostly! rlly not as romantic as i hoped

☆ warnings: yunjin le sserafim cameo

☆ wc: 3.3k

☆ a/n: i feel like i owe 1000 apologies and then some. this is the first thing that i've written in awhile. i know i've been MIA but life has really been chaotic. still i wrote this a few weeks ago and decided just to post since i haven't. i miss this blog and the lovely messages i'd receive. i hope you all enjoy &lt;3.

You were often told that people envied your friendship with Gyuvin. You hadn’t known each other your whole lives, but it definitely felt like it. In fact, you considered yourself lucky to have a connection that goes so far beyond the surface level.

The depth of your bond presented itself in a way you considered unique. It was incredible to have someone who knew everything about you – who wanted to know everything about you. He was your shoulder to cry on and the most reliable person that you knew. You often found yourself with the fleeting thought of What if we were more than just best friends? But you brushed it off before you even gave yourself the chance to entertain it.

Still, it was no question to the people around you that you and Gyuvin were something more than best friends – even without that “Boyfriend-Girlfriend” label.

Which is how you found yourself in this position: You and Yunjin found yourselves in the same boat of “I-haven’t-know-you-my-whole-life-but-I-definetly-feel-like-I-have,” meaning you frequently spent your time with one another, and on a weekly basis you slept over at her apartment and vice versa.

You’d watch movies and do skin care and braid hair, but above all you exchanged secrets. Over months and months of sleepovers you found out about Yunjin’s secret spelling mishap of 8th grade, and she found out about your high school boyfriend who liked to call you “Sugar Plum” unironically. No matter how serious or ridiculous the secret, they came out naturally in the dead of night during almost every sleepover the two of you would have.

“I think, maybe, deep down inside, I am possibly harboring some feelings for Gyuvin.” The confession came out with the same pit in your stomach you get when you’re throwing up. 

You sat across from Yunjin on her apartment bedroom floor with green face masks adorning both of your faces. You couldn’t believe the words that had just left your mouth, your heart raced while you waited for Yunjin to give you some sort of response. When your eyes darted up at her, she looked at you wide-eyed and jaw-dropped. 

The room seemed to hold its breath, almost as if it were waiting with you for Yunjin to say something. You were having one of those heart-to-hearts that you only have in the dead of night, admitting all kinds of secrets that you had to look deep inside to find. Still, upon hearing yours, she blinked a few times as if she was trying to process what she’d just heard.

“Wow,” she said softly, breaking the silence, “I mean, I already knew that! I just wasn’t expecting you to say it!”

You managed a weak smile in return, the corners of your lips shaking with nerves, “Yeah. Me neither.”

“Well? You haven’t said anything to him about it?”

“What? No! Oh god, no. That hurts my head just thinking about it, no. I can’t.”

“You can’t?” 

“I can’t.”

She didn’t understand you, but she understood the weight of your words and decided not to bother you about it anymore. Yunjin reached over and gently put her hand over yours, the warmth of her touch grounded you in that moment. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. You know I’m here if you need anything, right?”

The confession occupied the air between the two of you like a fragile secret. Now, the green face masks seemed oddly out of place. As if the intimate exchange had transcended the triviality of their original purpose. 

Yunjin’s initial shock gave way to a soft smile, her eyes holding a mixture of empathy and understanding. The kind of understanding that could only be offered by close friends – knowing they may not comprehend the depth of your emotions, they will be there for you nonetheless.

You sighed heavily and turned your gaze to the ceiling, letting all those emotions you shoved down take their place in your heart. “I don’t even know what I’m feeling half the time,” you admitted, voice carrying a mix of frustration and self deprecation.

Yunjin chuckled, her eyes crinkled in the corners and the dry mask of her face cracked in sync. “Babe, feelings are messy! I don’t think mine ever follow a logical path.”

“God, tell me about it. It’s just… Gyuvin, you know? We’re just too good as friends. What if I ruin it?”

Your hand received a reassuring squeeze from Yunjin before she withdrew her touch, a pensive expression on her face. She leaned back on her arms, considering your words carefully.

“I mean – I personally don’t get where you’re coming from,” she began, voice gentle, “But think about it this way Y/n: if your friendship is as good as you believe it is, then it’s strong enough to handle some turbulence. Emotions aren’t always predictable, and that’s okay! What if some weird unspoken tension affects your friendship more than your harboring some secret feelings?”

You sighed again, staring at the tiles at the ceiling as if they’d give you the answer after a while. “I know. You’re right. It’s just scary…I don’t even care if he feels the same way, what if things get weird between us?”

Yunjin leaned forward, resting her chin in her hands. “Babe, look, I can’t predict the future. I do know that honesty is the best policy, though. He deserves to know the truth, but you deserve to express your feelings even more! Whether he reciprocates or not, it’s not in your control. What you can control is how you handle this moving forward.”

“You’re right,” you admitted, letting your head down to face her. “I can’t even tell you how long I’ve been avoiding this for. It isn’t fair to either of us.”

Yunjin smiled widely at you, mask cracking more and more. “Exactly! And you know what they say about regrets, right?”

“What do they say?”

“Well.. I don’t really know. But they have to say something about it! Look, if he truly values your friendship then he’ll appreciate your honesty.”

You smiled back at Yunjin, your own mask cracking from the movement in your face. Yunjin stood up and held her hand out for you to grab.

You reached out and took her hand, letting her help you up from the ground. The air in the room felt a little lighter now, as if the weight of your confession had been shared and the burden lessened.

“Come on,” Yunjin said, “Let’s wash these off and then go to bed. We can talk about this in the morning or something. And if things don’t work, I will happily accept a confession from you on his behalf!”

Despite the impact that your much needed heart-to-heart with Yunjin had on you, you still found yourself unable to take any immediate action (or any action at all, for that matter.) In fact, it was more like the opposite. Your behavior took an unexpected turn – one that puzzled those around you. To you, though, it all made perfect sense. You had finally sat down and confronted those feelings that you had long harbored, and you need some time and space to really process it. Particularly, time and space away from Gyuvin. 

You shifted to practically being inseparable from one another to being distant and withdrawn. Those who’d grown accustomed to seeing you two together nearly every day were now met with your fleeting glances and casual avoidance. It was you who’d placed the invisible barrier between you and Gyuvin, leaving him equally confused by your sudden change in behavior.

Though, he didn’t know what exactly caused this sudden shift with you, he wasn’t blind to the cues you were throwing his way. He noticed immediately your short responses (if he had received one at all), and your excuses to avoid making any plans. He saw you take the long way from one place to another and he could only assume it was so you could avoid crossing paths with him. And while the biggest part of him wanted to know why, his brain told him to just let you deal with whatever it was you were dealing with. 

This went on for three weeks before someone decided to mention it. 

“What’s going on with Y/n?”

“What’s going on with Y/n?” Gyuvin scoffed at Matthew’s question and deadpanned, “If I knew that, she’d probably be here right now.”

Matthew raised an eyebrow, “Man, don’t get mad at me. I’m just so used to seeing you guys together all the time. It’s weird to everyone to see you guys apart like this.” Matthew leaned against the table at the campus café that they both sat.

Gyuvin let out a sigh and ran his hand through his hair, “You’re telling me? I’ve tried talking to her but she’s just… distant? I dunno. I can’t put a finger on why.”

“Did you guys have a fight?”

He shook his head, face full of frustration. “Is it bad if I say I wish we did? At least then I’d know what I did. She’s just been acting different. We used to spend hours talking about the dumbest shit and now it’s like pulling teeth to even get a few words out of her.”

Matthew took a sip from his coffee, gaze fixed on Gyuvin, “Maybe she’s going through something! Sometimes people start acting like that when they’re going through something personally. It could be something heavy, and she’s just not ready to talk about it yet.”

Gyuvin frowned at that idea, his mind was racing considering Matthew’s words. What could be so bad that you wouldn’t tell him? “You think so?”

Matthew nodded. 

“I mean.. I don’t know, man. We’re always there for each other. If that’s the case then I wish she’d just let me in.”

Matthew gave a wide, reassuring smile before replying, “Maybe she will, eventually. Just give her some time. Try not to let her push you away completely, keep reaching out. Even if it’s just a, ‘Hey. How’s your day?’ text or something.”

Gyuvin nodded, trying his best not to acknowledge the little pit in his stomach that was gnawing at him, “I’ll do that. But I get to blame you if your advice sucks.”

With the days passing, Gyuvin took Matthew’s advice to heart. He started sending you the occasional message asking about your day or giving you an anecdote out of his. He wasn’t expecting lengthy responses, but he wanted you to know that he was still there regardless of whatever it was you were dealing with.

You, on the other hand, were dealing with all kinds of complex sentiments about your situation. To no one’s surprise, honesty was a much easier concept to speak about than it was in practice. That confession to Yunjin that night had opened a floodgate of uncertainty and fear for you. Part of you had expected your feelings to be reciprocated or to at least be brushed aside as a passing thought, but the reality was much more complicated. You’d unintentionally thrown a wrench in your friendship with Gyuvin, and it was past the point of you knowing how you could fix it. 

You spent a lot of time thinking about it, your situation. You stared at your messages with Gyuvin and wondered if they’d be any different if you were honest. When you’d see him on campus laughing with his friends, your heart would ring itself out. Your close friends could notice the toll that it was taking on you, especially Yunjin. She was the only one who knew anything about what you were feeling, so she was the only one who could try to help.

She noticed how your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes anymore, or the heavy sighs that seemed to escape you involuntarily, or the way that you’d space out and think to yourself more often. 

One night, you were both sprawled across her living room couch with a movie playing in the background. The atmosphere was interrupted by the loud chime of your phone. It sat on the coffee table in the center and the screen was lit up with a text.

“Who’s that?”

You both knew who it was. “Oh, probably my mom or something. I’ll just reply later.” You could lie all you wanted, but you couldn’t pretend that your situation wasn’t getting to you. The message was short and sweet, but it made your stomach erupt with butterflies while simultaneously giving you the urge to throw up. Hi, I’m thinking of you. Just wanted to check in and ask you about your day.

“Y/n.” Yunjin spoke softly, but she sounded stern. She wanted you to take her seriously and to let your walls down again.

“Yunjin.” You responded, putting your phone back down and looking her in the eye.

“I can see how much this is bothering you. It’s eating you up inside, isn’t it?” She sat up and grabbed the remote from the coffee table, pausing the movie before facing you again. Neither of you need to clarify what “this,” was because the heavy toll it had taken on your heart was evident to anyone who knew about your feelings.

You couldn’t stop the tears before they began to fall. You could only nod in response, unable to put your feelings into words. 

“Babe, I think it’s time to face this head-on,” Yunjin suggested, maintaining a firm but gentle tone. “You can’t avoid him forever. It’s hurting the both of you.”

“But what if it makes things worse?” You whispered, voice trembling.

“I really, really, really don’t think you’d do that,” Yunjin sighed and faced you directly. “He asked me about you the other day.”

That only made you cry harder, feeling like your heart would just explode in your chest. “What’d he say?” You managed to ask through sobs.

“You know, he just wanted to see how you were. If everything was okay with you.”

“And what’d you tell him?”

“I told him that I couldn’t really say. That you’ll make the time soon to go talk to him.”

“Yunjin…” you trailed off and broke your eye contact with her, feeling embarrassed. “I don’t know if I can do that.”

“I’m not saying it’s gonna be easy,” she began, “But, this distance? This awkwardness? It’s not doing you any favors. At least if you talk to him you’ll know where you stand.”

All you could do was nod before Yunjin brought you into a deep embrace, comforting you while you cried on her shoulder.

Over the next few days, you continued to wrestle with the decision of finally facing Gyuvin. The inner turmoil was beginning to reach its peak, you knew that you couldn’t keep pretending like he didn’t exist. Yunjin’s words echoed in your mind as a constant reminder to confront your feelings and put an end to the growing distance between you and Gyuvin. 

One evening, as the sun began to set and cast a variety of golden hues over the city, you found yourself standing in front of Gyuvin’s favorite coffee shop. It was also your favorite, but you’d been avoiding it on the off chance that you’d see him there. Your heart raced as you took a deep breath, trying to summon the courage to go inside. The bell above the door tinkled as you entered, scanning the cozy interior until your gaze met Gyuvin.

He was sitting by the window, engrossed in whatever assignment he was working on, his brows furrowed in concentration. The sight of him sent a rush of emotions through you – familiarity, comfort, and a twinge of nervousness. You scolded yourself internally for being scared to talk to your best friend.

You approached his table, cringing at how loud your footsteps seemed to sound in the otherwise quiet café. He looked up, surprise registering on his face before morphing into a warm smile.

“Hi,” he greeted, closing the books that littered the table and setting them aside, “I wasn’t expecting to see you.”

“Hi,” you echoed, your voice a little shaky, “Is it okay if I sit with you?”

Gyuvin’s expression to a more confused one, but his smile never faltered. “Of course you can sit with me,” he gestured to the empty seat across from him, “I would actually really like it if you did.”

You settled into the seat, avoiding eye contact with him. The silence between the two of you hung for a moment before Gyuvin decided to speak up, “Is everything okay with you? I feel like I never hear from you lately.”

You took a deep breath, your heart still racing. “That’s actually why I came here. I was hoping you’d be here so that we could talk.”

His brows furrowed slightly and his expression dropped, concern evident in his eyes, “You can tell me anything. Please, talk to me.”

“I really love you Gyuvin.”

Gyuvin smiled earnestly at you, “I love you too. You know that you can tell me anything, right?”

You sighed and looked him in the eye before repeating yourself, “No, I mean, I love you.”

Gyuvin's eyes widened, and he seemed momentarily taken aback by your confession. He opened his mouth to say something but hesitated, as if choosing his words carefully. 

You cut him off before he could speak, “I just – I sort of realized it one night and I couldn’t figure out how to face you? I didn’t know how, so I just didn’t. And I know it was wrong and I know I should’ve just been honest with you and I just….” you trailed off and looked for some sign of understanding in his eyes.

There was a passing moment of silence where your eye contact was never broken, but you could feel your heart drumming against your chest while the lights in the café began turning on to account for the lack of the sun.

“I love you too.”

Your eyes widened and you waited to respond out of fear that the butterflies in your stomach would fly out if you opened your mouth. “You love me?”

“I really love you,” he mimicked your earlier statement.

You laughed a bit and let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, reaching a hand out to intertwine with Gyuvin’s. “I was so scared. That by telling you I’d ruin our friendship. That scared me more than anything.”

"Y/n, you have to understand that our friendship is incredibly precious to me, like a guiding light in my life. But you… you're more than that. And now, it's as if our bond is being woven even tighter, stronger, because we're entrusting each other with the most vulnerable parts of ourselves." Gyuvin's voice softened, his eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine. "It's a kind of feeling that I never want to lose."

You felt a sense of relief wash over you at his words, tears welling up in your eyes and rolling down your cheeks, “I should’ve talked to you sooner. I’m sorry, I really am.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” he said softly, wiping the tears from your cheeks with his free hand. “You’re here now. We’re here now and that’s what matters.”

You chuckled through your tears, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders. “Yunjin was right, you know. She told me I needed to face this head-on.”

“I never thought I’d say this about her, but you have a pretty smart friend,” Gyuvin teased, his smile widening.

You both laughed, the tension in the air dissipating. It felt like a heavy fog had been lifted for the both of you, leaving a clarity that neither of you had seen before. The café seemed to fade into the background as you focused on each other.

“So…” you began, “What do we do now?”

Gyuvin leaned in a little closer, his eyes locked onto yours. “I think you owe me, at the very least, a date for what I had to put up with this past month.”

You nodded, stifling your giggles from him before responding, “I think I can make that happen.”

[phiphieee]

A complete unknown

A/N: disclaimer english is not my first language! :) The reader is asab other than that i don't think there are any tw needed but pls tell me if i missed anything! Thanksss

The video starts with a clip of Timmy and Y/N laughing before abruptly stopping. Timmy clears his throat and Y/N bites the inside of their cheek side-eyeing him and raising an eyebrow.

"Hi guys I'm Timothy Chalamet" he said pointing at the girl sitting next to him.

"And I'm Y/N L/N" she says giggling making jazz hands.

"And we're here to answer your questions on..."

"A complete unknown!"

"A complete unknonw!!!" They say together laughing.

The screen flashes with the first question, Timmy is reading a cue card "how did Y/N join the project? Interesting, interesting, you wanna take that one?" he throws the cue card and she snorts at that. "Well" she says tucking her hair behind her ears "Timmy was already cast, and I think it was during the actor's strike?" she looks at him and he nods "And I was staying at Timmy's place at the time, I think most people know I'm not really an actress or anything I just happen to be friends with" she gestures vaguely with her hand "these types of people" Timmy laughs shaking his head and saying "she sings as well". Y/N shrugs "but yeah obviously, being the voice for joan was crazy, and uh, it pretty much all happened because the director heard me doing her harmony parts on a video Timmy sent. I don't think I match it perfectly to be honest i think it's just because I'm a soprano too. Not too say that the way Joan Baez sings is just like a soprano, she's got a much nicer rounder voice than me I think, and yeah" she turns back to Timmy to see him smirking. "Yeah her Joan is better than my Bob".

The screen flashes with another question: "What was the funniest moment on set?"

Timmy’s face lights up. "Oh, I’ve got one," he says, leaning forward conspiratorially. "So, there’s this scene where I’m supposed to be really intense, right? Like, full-on Dylan brooding mode. And Y/N’s just off-camera, watching. But instead of staying serious, they’re doing this..."

Timmy turns to Y/N, gesturing for them to demonstrate.

"No way," Y/N says, laughing nervously.

"You have to," Timmy insists, grinning.

Y/N sighs dramatically but gives in, puffing out their cheeks and crossing their eyes in an exaggerated parody of deep concentration. Timmy doubles over laughing, clapping his hands.

"Exactly that!" he says, pointing at them. "So, I’m trying to stay in character, right? And she’s just—" He imitates the face again, sending Y/N into a fit of giggles. "I cracked every single time. The director was ready to murder us both."

Y/N wipes a tear from their eye. "In my defense, you were way too serious. It needed some levity!"

"Levity, sure," Timmy says, shaking his head fondly.

The next question appears on the screen: "What’s the most surprising thing you learned about each other during filming?"

Y/N raises an eyebrow at Timmy. "Oh, I’ve got a good one for this."

Timmy groans, throwing his head back. "Here we go."

"So," Y/N starts, leaning in like they’re about to share a deep secret. "Timmy has this really weird habit of—"

"Don’t you dare," Timmy cuts in, laughing but also clearly nervous.

"—eating cereal with orange juice instead of milk."

The room erupts in laughter, Timmy covering his face with his hands. "Okay, first of all, that was one time!"

"Once was enough," Y/N says, grinning. "And it wasn’t even like, a weird experimental thing. You ran out of milk and just... decided orange juice was the next best option. It was unhinged."

"It was resourceful!" Timmy protests, though his ears are bright red.

The two dissolve into laughter again, the kind that comes easily between close friends, and the video fades out with a montage of bloopers from the shoot.

A voiceover from Y/N plays over the clips: "If there’s one thing I learned working on this project, it’s that Timmy Chalamet is just as chaotic as he seems... and I wouldn’t have it any other way."

Timmy’s voice cuts in, mock-offended. "Chaotic? That’s slander!"

The screen fades to black, leaving only the sound of their laughter as the video ends.

[lagtrained]

hi everyone i am not refollowing the stp tag until i 100% the new achievements and stuff again BUT. i finished a whole playthrough at like 4 pm today. oh my god. OOOOOOOOGH i have thoughts. SPOILERS BELOW CUT

THE FUCKING. PRINCESS AND THE DRAGON CHAPTER. OH MY GOD. i havw so many thoughts and feeling and just. holy SHIT that fucking chapter. im pretty sure thats the first instance of actually seeing what tlq looks like not in complete darkness and MY GOD my jaw dropped the moment i saw that. my first thought was just "he is so big and also looks fluffy but in a scary way why is he Like That" in he best way possible and just. its so expressive even with like only three (or four?) different "expressions" (aka different eyes except for opprtunist bc hes just different like that or something i guess). and dont even get me STARTED on the segway into the chapter and the chaoticness and confusion of it, that was the first chapter three of my playthrough so it was a VERY strong start.

also. happily ever after. GOD. HAPPILY EVER AFTER. i wanted to cry the entire time because like. she was so. :(. i could FEEL the anxiety and panic and just. MAN. people pleasers rise up (starts sobbing) and and and. fucking. smitten. GOD. pristine cut is really just the "hey look its the voices in your head! here they are!" update in disguise /j but anyways. he very much added to the huge feeling of anxiety, and i forgot what i did but at first i didnt see any of the voices just talking about the Suspiciously Bird Shaped Shadow on the wall until like halfway through the chapter where paranoid was like "hey guys i found the missing voice why is he a shadow". and once again. the leadup to the chapter was. jarring. to say the least. at first i thought broken was there just because pf the change in tone but after still seeing "voice of the smitten" i was. very worried. and then i was even more worried in the next two minutes when this guy ripped his fucking chest open with his bare hands. like. my god dude. just say you love her smh /j but yea no that was fucking awesome

i have a lot of thoughts and i definitely need to reply the cage (mostly bc i was super lightheaded during my playthrough) but GOD i was. once again. very disgusted and horrified /pos 10/10 would be beheaded by a headless princess and also drive one of the voices in my head insane again

as for the chapter expansions i definitely need to explore them more (since i did one playthrough and then got sidetracked as soon as i unlocked the memories menu) but i did play one route of both apotheosis and fury and both of them are absolutely amazing (shoutout to voice of the stubborn for giving me another razor-esque montage very much enjoyed it), and i ended up only doing a little bit of the den but even so i still REALLY liked it (also because den was always one of the chapters i was super interested in)

and also figuring out how to get the new ending was very fun!!!!!!!! i saw the red text once because of my apotheosis route and i was like "what. what do you mean shifting mound. what do you mean by that." when she mentioned starting to understand, then spent like 10 minutes in both the normal cabin and stranger cabin looking for the ending, and then i was like "whar if i Killed Her"

overall. my god. im so happy. seritonin STIMULATED mental illness CURED (and then recaused by happily ever after)

[ryuzakistoe]

Rin Itoshi (x reader)

Rin Itoshi x reader, breakup au, fluff, fem!reader, angst

You and Rin broke up a couple of weeks ago and only recently has he realized he made a mistake. He can't seem to get you out of his head despite that it was his idea to break up with you. He really wants you back.

a/n: So like this is my first ff here on tumblr...pls tell me if its good enough😖 ANYWAYS IM SOOO OBSESSED WITH RIN ITOSHI and maybe sae...actually most of the bllk characters.

Empty.

That's all he felt.

He thought that maybe letting you go would be the best option. Apparently not.

You were the cause of his distraction during soccer. You were the reason he couldn't keep his focus on the game and almost lost in the finals.

Well, he at least thought.

After that game, he felt somewhat frustrated. He was frustrated at himself for losing focus but also felt somewhat frustrated towards you. You were the reason why he couldn't think clearly.

The way you beamed with joy when he scored goals. The way you shouted his name across the field. The way your eyes sparkled every time he received the ball...

It was all stuck in his head. He just couldn't shake away the image of you.

And yet, THAT was the problem.

You rushed toward him, cheering and shouting his name with a big smile on your face, which he always loved. He also loved it when you jumped on him and hugged him tightly.

But for some reason, all he felt during that moment was annoyance and slight anger.

He didn't hug you back and of course, you immediately thought something was wrong.

Taking your hands back slowly, you gazed at him. "Rin, are you alright?"

...

"Let's break up."

...

He will always remember the way your expression changed. The way your face turned white when he spoke. The way the admiration in your eyes vanished..

But how could he possibly also forget the icy gaze he fixed upon you? Those piercing teal eyes, lacking of any emotion, seemed to burn right through you in that moment.

He regretted that deeply.

He soon left without saying anything more, leaving you to process and replay his choice of words.

Hell, even the way he walked showed no remorse or emotions either.

…

Now, here he was a couple weeks later on the field, going against some lukewarm team. (see what I did there😏)

In the middle of the game, it seemed like he was instinctively trying to find you in the crowd. He kept looking towards the front row and then at the seat where you always used to sit. The same seat that was right next to Rin was now unoccupied.

That's when it hit him. From this point on, that seat would always be empty.

That same feeling he felt the day after the breakup, it all came back--hitting him twice as hard.

All that regret, sadness, loneliness--it all came tumbling down on him.

He knew that he missed you but he didn't think he did THIS much.

He remembers how your eyes looked that day. He remembers the tears welling up and the quiver in your lip. He remembers how your voice cracked when you said his name. Yes…he remembers it all.

Only now does he know that he really did fuck up.

During the match, he realized he wasn't performing at his best. Whenever his teammates passed the ball to him, it was either intercepted by the opposing team or slipped through his grasp.

This was the worst he played.

He clenched his teeth in frustration. Why couldn't he concentrate? Why couldn't he score? Why couldn't he make it across the field?

Oh right.

It was you again.

Ever since he left you, his playing somehow worsened. Well, he already knew it was bad with you around, but this time, it was even more chaotic.

Every minute, every second in his mind seemed to be filled with you.

He remembered how you used to run up to him after every game, laughing out his name as you got closer, your hair gently running alongside you, and your arms outstretching to embrace him in a tight hug. He missed all of it.

While he was busy trying to push aside his thoughts, surprisingly, his team managed to turn the game back around and claim victory, but that didn't calm him down.

The same thoughts that had been running through his mind during the game were still lingering in his head, refusing to settle or go away.

He missed you. He needed you. It was wrong of him to push you away.

It was as if he couldn't find rest unless he was back with you. Back in your arms, back in your embrace, back in your heart...

Arriving back home, he immediately whipped out his phone and scrolled down to your contact.

'Love❤️'

He gazed at the name of your contact. He couldn't muster the courage to delete the contact or change the name.

The grip on his phone tightened. He really really needed you back.

The pain in his chest and mind wouldn't disappear until he had you back. He was certain of that.

He wanted to make everything right again, he wanted to make it up to you.

But the question was, would you let him?

After a bit of contemplation with himself, he finally clicked on your contact.

'RING RING RING'

His heart pounded in his chest. He felt like his guts were going to rupture from nervousness. Had he ever felt this nervous and desperate before? Probably not.

As he started having second thoughts, the ringing finally stopped.

"Rin?"

Oh, how he missed that voice.

It seemed as if all his doubting and nervousness in his body had been healed by just hearing your voice.

That's how much he needed you back.

"Y/n. Can we talk?"

Now it was your turn to be nervous. 'Talk?' What was there to talk about? He made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with you. All the texts and calls you sent him after that day have either been ignored or declined. At one point, he even blocked you.

But you couldn't deny that hearing his voice again felt relaxing--calming even.

You craved day after day to hear his voice one more time, but of course, you knew that would be impossible.

Well, you thought it would be impossible, until now.

"Talk? Talk about what Rin?"

Shit. What was he supposed to say? Tell you that he was wrong and that he wants you back?

...Well...technically...yeah.

How? How was he going to say it properly though?

He had to think quick. He knew he had to at least say something regarding that line. This may be his ever only chance.

"Y/n...I want to talk about us. I'm sorry. I truly am. I never realized how much this would impact me...but if you can, can we meet up? I want to apologize properly. Not through some device." Rin breathed out.

Wow.

You never thought you would be hearing these words come out of his mouth after a break-up.

But now, the question was if you would accept his apology and agree to the meet-up.

You loved Rin. You always have as a matter of fact.

Even after the breakup, you couldn't stop loving him. It felt like your love for him only grew stronger. But now, it felt like the universe was finally listening to your heartache.

You felt your heart beating irregularly, but the thought of seeing him again made you happy despite feeling sad and upset before.

You already knew the answer to his question. You knew how desperate you wanted him back. You knew how much you loved him and still do.

Without wasting any more time, you replied.

"Sure Rin. I'll see what you have to say." You smiled, knowing Rin couldn't see that precious smile of yours that he adored.

That was all he needed to hear from you.

"Let's talk at the garden by (ST. NAME) St. at 6. Okay?"

"Okay."

...

Rin hung up after bidding goodbye. A small smile plastered on his face. He let out a sigh as he rested on his sofa.

He was happy. No. More than happy by your consideration.

The anticipation of seeing you again grew inside him, increasing steadily. He couldn't afford to mess up now. All he had to do was be honest, right?

Yeah. Honest.

A small frown replaced his soft smile as he had to tell you how he truly felt, how much he missed you, how wrong he was, and how he regretted the whole thing.

He had to tell you how sorry he really was.

But he knew he definitely wanted to tell you how much he needed you back in his life, to fill that empty seat.

__________________

He couldn't take his gaze off of you.

The way the afternoon sun coated and highlighted all your features, making it seem as if you were glowing. The way the wind brushed threw your hair, as if your beautiful locks were being combed in sections by the gentle breeze. And the way your eyes softly squinted as your face morphed into a delicate and soft smile.

It was as if he was falling in love all over again.

Except this time, it was the same girl he still loved.

He began walking towards you, taking appropriate strides.

Gosh.

He couldn't help but admire you. You looked even more beautiful up close.

He let out a breath, preparing his words.

“Y/n…” he mumbled

“Rin.” you muttered back, your smile never faltering.

Rin enjoyed hearing his name spoken by you. It was the only thing that could calm him down. The smooth, comforting sound of your voice saying his name...he needed to hear and keep that heavenly voice in his life forever.

Rin took a deep breath before finally speaking his heart's content.

"Y/n.. I want to apologize. I kept pushing you away because I couldn't stop thinking about you while I was playing soccer. But even when I wasn't on the field, you were still on my mind," Rin said.

"During that game...my mind was still drifting back to the thought of you. That's what made me distracted during the game.

I thought that maybe breaking up with you would settle my thoughts and help me focus more on soccer. But I was wrong. The fact that you were no longer by my side only made me more distracted than I already was." Rin explained before continuing.

"Every day, I would feel empty and lonely without you. At one point, I thought that those feelings would go away after some time. But I was wrong. They only grew day after day.

That's when I realized that breaking up with you was a mistake. I need you Y/n. I need you to be here with me. I need you to stay in my life. Without you, I only feel empty and hollow. I want you to come back to my games and continue cheering me on. I want to look forward to your hugs and embraces after the games.

Please Y/n...I miss you. Will you consider staying with me?"

Shocked. Amazed. Surprised.

You felt almost all of the above.

Those words...that tone...his movements...they seemed heartfelt.

You gazed up at him, eyes wide, mouth agape, body still. You absorbed all his words and felt as if some kind of shackle around your wounded heart had been mended.

It felt relieving to finally hear the truth.

Noticing your motionless state, Rin grew a little worried. Were you mad at him? Upset? Angry? He couldn't tell.

What if you're angry at him with the whole "pushing you away from him to focus on the whole soccer thing"?

After having some negative thoughts in his head, they all seemed to have been pushed aside at the sight of your smile.

"I missed you too Rin. I missed you so much that my heart would swell at the mere thought or sight of you. Morning and night I would go to bed, hugging myself, wondering what it would be like if we were still together and what I could've done differently.”

“Every day I have not been able to stop thinking about you. I even haven't been able to stop loving you as well." You softly chuckled.

Now he was the one who was shocked. He always had a thought lingering in the back of his mind, wondering if you had ever moved on from him or not. Now he knew the answer.

He quickly and gently pulled you into an embrace after hearing your words.

You still loved him.

And of course, he still loved you.

He felt so relieved and content after hearing your words.

His smile only grew wider as he felt you reciprocating his hug.

"I love you Y/n. I love you so much. I promise to not leave you over something stupid like that ever again." He spoke quietly into your ear.

Now, it was your turn to smile wider at his words.

You knew that he meant every word. You knew that he still loved you. You knew that he would keep his promise. You knew that he was being genuine.

"I love you too Rin." You spoke back.

_____________________

a/n: BRO I DID NOT LIKE THE ENDING OF THIS ITS SO ASS buttttt I was starting to feel lazy😣 BUT OMG IM SO EXCITED FOR S2!!!

P.S I might take a long while to post more stuff like this bc I'm just so busy with school and life

P.S.S HES SO HANDSOME AND BEAUTIFUL WHAT

[vsyrworld]

get to know my favorite driver's ship

this was made by me and for me and i wrote fanfic about them!!!

(fyi; i started watching f1 in 2015 so ofc you guys KNOW what my FIRST and ULTIMATE ship)

(older f1 ships: )

Brocedes :D (childhood friends, teammates, rivals, anything but a lover - crofty 2021)

OH COME ON. I will write an essay about their history. BUT ANYWAY, despite their toxic year in 2015/2016, I still adore how young nico and lewis friendship or whatever they had in Greece back then and I still keep this ship alive until the 2021 season. Their battle on the track was BEYOND TOXIC, yet their battle off the track (media drama) is HILLAARIOUS. How come Lewis accidentally spills out, the name that shouldn't be spoken for Half of DECADE. God both of them are dramas king. NICO PODCAST omg the talk with Alain prost and they compared his vs Senna battle with HIS AND Lewis's battle PLUS when Nico's storytelling his "friendship" history in ITALY at the SPONSOR EVENTS *CRIED* and lewis always mentioned how he loves ice cream and do cheating day in imola and monza BECAUSE IT WAS NICO WHO INTRODUCE THE FOOD THERE. ugh I hate and love them at the same time. (I do include some Seb/NICO too because I like see Lewis getting rilled up)

2. Kimi and Seb (I ADORE THIS A LOT)

my calm and serenity wise iconic ferrari couple. I feel like Kimi was the rock ice and water for Seb to prevent him from burnout because of ferrari. during 2017-2018, Seb pushed hard (same like Charles) and yet the car reliability fuck his championship standing. and kimi (--kimi was the last ferrari champion hiks) kimi just so attentive to seb and I genuinely like both of them being rebels to whole ferrari tradition (like they don't do rollercoaster thingy, they DON'T master Italian, they just become their self and being so comfortable in their own bubble, fuck world). I had noticed also Seb (and Gio) is the only teammate that can make Kimi laugh. I just super super adore them!

3. Maxiel (TRADITIONALSHIP! I REFUSE OTHER SHIP FOR MAX BESIDE DANIEL. I REFUSE!)

ugh should I explain them? THE CHAOTIC GAYEST ENERGY IN WHOLEEE 2016 GRIDS COME ON. I love how Daniel basically took young rookie Max under his arm and just had fun on and off the track with It? The biggest flop was when Max was just so hotheaded and they crashed in Baku. I thought their relationship gonna be stranded but GUESS WHAT? MAXIEL IS STILL ALIVE UNTIL NOW HELLO? and their relationship is so real not only for the camera but also out the camera. The other highlight moment is when Max is already 'too big' daniel really steps down from RBR because he knows, Max will outshine him, and he knows (what he learned from brocedes too) that it's better to go the other way.

(newer)

4. Dando (COMFORT SHIIP Not romantically also)

I thought daniel was max soulmate but LANDO excuse me? They can share daniel If they want. i just love how lando becomes so silly and blushes like school teenager around Daniel. i love how they INFLUENCE each other. I think because I feel nostalgic with them because they really similar with Maxiel in 2017 era, just one season before Daniel goes to renault, Maxiel was strained on thin paper. Dando other hands, well Daniel mostly, struggled in McLaren (with the papaya fans also still adore Carlos that time and refuse to let go him) plus Lando was shining bright just like Max 2016. Again, daniel he stepped OUT (this time). I guess, that similarity made me miss maxiel too.

5. last one C2 (Charlos) gosh, please!! ultimate!!!

loving and adoring them was expected though. It wasn't because they're both handsome (I already know Carlos was goofy ever since his Renault era so I never consider him as a handsome man) BUT DANG BOY, RED ON CARLOS WAS SOMETHING ELSE? RED ON CARLOS, BLACK ON CARLOS WAS SAKDAJSKDFHLKJSAFHKJAF.

-- okay back to the c2. It was a slow build okay? I realized that they are special during Carlos's first podium, Monaco 2021. Charles WAS LIKE ME. Blushing giggling, shy gazes toward Carlos. they are so endearing. Both of them are the victims of the Ferrari team. But I think they both understand each burden (Charles being the predestinated one, and Carlos had to prove his talent bcs he is a two times world champion son) plus, the way Ferrari screwed Charles in 2019. The team was cracked but with Carlos, I didn't expect this cursed team is heal :"D (Crying) and Charles become more relaxed, more enjoyed, even his coping mechanism is with laughter and Carlos just matches his energy. Idk , they gave me... a relationship through ups and downs.

and I realized there are so many people trying to pit them against each other, their fans are constantly arguing about who is the best and better driver, always dragging one of them down, but guess what is Carlos and Charles's response? it's completely differs from real life. They knew and fucking see it their fans tension. Carlos's anger to the Spanish media has already proven enough he had enough of these things. Charles also said in an interview that "what he saw about him and Carlos is nowhere true". they are the best PR relationship couple out there, but I also can see a genuine, how they know each other so weell. How Charles kept the football game updated just because of Carlos, how Carlos knows his favorite food, how they had their own internal jokes,

they are both soo lowkey on the camera during and outside the race. and I think that Is why people never hype them like carlando or everyone's favorite childhood rival to lovers lesttapen. And I thought they didn't really hang out with each other that much but WHAT WAS THAT SUMMER BREAK? HUH? YOU IN MALORCA AND WENT TO SOUTHERN FRENCH? What were the matching Instagram feeds color and aesthetic at New York? WHAT WAS THE THING ABOUT PASTA CARBONARA UN LUNGA NON PENNE? WHAT WAS THAT THING CHARLES SLEPT ON THE FLOOR just to accompany Carlos watching World Cup? The dolomites? The Sardinia?

there are soo many thing that they keep it so low-profile and under camera, and yet their conversation is so domestic.

[toujokaname]

HiMERU's 2023 Birthday Celebration

Characters: HiMERU, Anzu

"Fufu, thank you very much for your congratulations. HiMERU has been eagerly looking forward to your words."

[ Read on my site for a better viewing experience using Ois~su ♪ ]

Birthday Moment 1

HiMERU: (Phew... The earlier commotion seems unbelievable now. It's remarkably quiet.)

Oh, Anzu-san...? Thank you for your hard work at the party earlier. Have you finished cleaning up?

—HiMERU has been here drinking coffee and resting for a while.

💬 Once again, happy birthday.

HiMERU: Hehe, thank you ♪

You said it during the party as well, but it's always nice to hear, no matter how many times it's said.

💬 It smells nice.

HiMERU: —Ahh, is it this coffee's aroma? It's takeout from Cinnamon.

Shiina offered, "Here, have it after your meal," and handed it over. Feeling it would be rude to refuse, HiMERU accepted it gratefully.

Birthday Moment 2

HiMERU: Today's weather is nice. There aren't many clouds, so it should be clear tonight.

—If possible, HiMERU would really like it to be clear on Tanabata night.

What is it, Anzu-san? Hm, you want to meet here again later...?

💬 Is that okay?

HiMERU: Certainly, it's no trouble. HiMERU is available at that time.

There's just one more thing he has to do before the appointed time.

💬 It might be a bit late though...

HiMERU: You don't need to worry so much about that.

—Since HiMERU also has other matters to attend to, a later time would actually be more convenient.

Birthday Moment 3

HiMERU: In that case, let's meet here at the agreed time...

Well, HiMERU is considering returning to the ES building now.

Oops, apologies. It looks like a message just arrived from Hold-hands.

💬 Who's it from?

HiMERU: "I blew all my cash gambling, so lend me some! I'll pay you back triple as a birthday treat, yeah? ♪"

...That's what it says. Even without mentioning his name, it's obvious who it is, isn't it.

💬 I don't mind if you look at it.

HiMERU: Then, pardon. Hm, it's from Oukawa.

Everyone from Crazy:B is gathering at Cinnamon, so won't HiMERU come too... Since he's been invited, he must attend.

Birthday Night / First Part

HiMERU: Thank you for your patience. Apologies, HiMERU was a little late.

—Ahh, sure enough, it's clear tonight. You can see the Milky Way up in the sky.

Vega and Altair are visible as well. Look, over there...

Anzu: Are they the stars of Orihime and Hikoboshi?

HiMERU: Yes, that's right. They're the first-magnitude stars of Lyra and Aquila, respectively.

The town's lights make it a bit hard to see, but first-magnitude stars are exceptionally bright, so they're easy to find.

HiMERU: Speaking of which, HiMERU's birthday does fall on Tanabata. That may be why he received several presents with star motifs.

The Sweets Fan Club members even prepared a star-themed cake.

—Everyone must have put a lot of thought into giving gifts connected to HiMERU.

Anzu: It sure was a lively party.

HiMERU: Yes, it was. People kept coming to offer their congratulations, so it was quite hectic.

But, well, HiMERU thinks it was a chaotic yet enjoyable party.

HiMERU: —By the way, HiMERU missed the chance to give this to you.

Here you go, Anzu-san. It's coffee.

HiMERU brought it because he wanted to leisurely enjoy coffee with you.

Anzu: Thank you.

HiMERU: You're welcome. Thanks to Shiina's instruction on how to brew it, its flavor is guaranteed.

—Yes, it's as you guessed; this coffee is handmade by HiMERU ♪

Birthday Night / Second Part

HiMERU: Hehe, it's wonderful to hear that you enjoyed the coffee.

Watching the Tanabata starry sky over a cup of coffee is rather pleasant, isn't it?

...Oh? Anzu-san, you have a present for HiMERU?

Anzu: Here you go.

HiMERU: —Very well then, if you don't mind, HiMERU will open it.

Aah, what a beautiful brooch. The ruby-like deep crimson stone is quite dreamy.

HiMERU: What do you think? HiMERU thought it'd be a waste to just put it away, so he decided to try wearing it.

He didn't expect that you would organize a party for him, much less give him a present.

—Please let HiMERU do something to thank you.

Anzu: Don't worry about it.

HiMERU: Hm, you gave it because you wanted to... Is that right...?

Well then, next time we meet, please let HiMERU treat you to coffee again.

HiMERU: —The night is starting to wear on. It looks like some clouds are coming in as well.

We've finished our coffee, so shall we go inside before the wind picks up?

Thank you so much for today. Not only did you prepare the party, but you also arranged such a wonderful gift... It must have been tough, right?

Anzu: I enjoyed it.

HiMERU: Is that so... It's heartening to have people who give it their all for HiMERU's sake.

For your sake, HiMERU will strive even harder as an idol. Please look forward to HiMERU's future.

[ ☆ ]

[fangirlfrom-hell]

The Fragile Bonds Part 3 || Jay and Will Halstead x Halstead Sister

*re-posting this because I'm stupid and accidentaly erased my blog 🫠

Summary: After their father's death, Becca moved in with Jay. This is the first time the detective brother has to go undercover since his sister has been under his full care, creating a challenging situation for both. Reluctantly, Becca will have to live with Will and his family during those days, even though she doesn't feel very welcome in that household.

"Becca, sweetie, would you please open the door for me?" 

Becca stared at her reflection in the mirror, her red puffy eyes showed how much she had been crying. She cursed to her insides, she wanted to hide the fact before going out. 

Another knock, this time harder, and the voice changed to a preoccupied tone, "Becca, please". 

Although the voice made her feel a little more like home, she didn't want to open the door, she didn't want anybody to see her in this state. She was feeling ashamed of her actions now, she wanted to dissapear. She couldn't understand more between the whispering, until Natalie raised her voice a little bit "How? Are you going to break it?". She wasn't happy. 

"Becca, I'm going to open up, ok? If you can hear me, step aside" In that moment, the youngest Halstead slowly opened the door, her gaze on the floor. 

"Hey, there you are!", Trudy Platt said in a low voice, almost like a whisper. 

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I was just--", she tried, but couldn't invent any excuse. 

Trudy smiled with a bit of sadness "It's ok. It's good to see you". 

There was an uncomfortable silence, "Your brother called to the district asking for help, he was worried for you". 

"Will?", she frowned. 

"Hmhm, he asked for Upton, but she's...busy right now, so you got me instead". Platt said in a funny way. "

“You didn't have to..." 

"Oh, I did have to, yes". 

For the first time, Becca raised her head and smiled as soon as she met the Sergeant's in the eyes. That action transformed the tense atmosphere into a more relaxed one. Suddenly, the rush of emotions surged through her, so with a racing heart the urge to cry reappeared. This time was different, it somehow felt warm as a relief; for the first time in these chaotic days she felt safe. Acting purely in instinct, the girl jumped and wrapped her arms tightly around Trudy, who immediately embraced her in return, whispering soothing words in a motherly tone, "It's alright, everything's going to be alright".

"I'll check on Owen", Natalie sighed before dissapearing, but her exit wasn't noticed. 

"Come on, let's get some fresh air. It will do good to you". 

The sun had already set, casting a darkening hue over the surroundings as Platt and Becca strolled down Will's street. The only sounds in the vicinity were the laughter of kids playing nearby. The silence between them wasn't uncomfortable, though, it was a peaceful silence. 

"Do you want to tell me what happened?", the Sargeant was the first one to speak. Becca just shrugged; many thoughts crossed her mind before she could answer.

 "I... I got overwhelmed, I guess. It's silly, really. I had been looking forward to this day so much that when things didn't go as planned, I got frustrated. Then Natalie accused me of having a meltdown, and I lost it. Owen wasn't even there, I wasn't even yelling. I needed some space to calm down, so I locked myself in the bathroom. That's all." 

Trudy's tone became very serious, yet warm, as she pronounced her name, "Becca..." 

"Yes, Serge?" "Are you hurt?" The girl stopped and locked her eyes on the woman. "I need to know." 

"No," Becca answered simply, her brother's image in her mind. She felt proud of the way she managed to control herself. Trudy nodded as they continued walking. 

"I miss Jay", Becca said with a hint of anger mixed with sadness in her voice. 

The Sergeant sighed, "Well, this might end sooner than we thought." 

"Yeah, that's what Hails said." 

When Becca returned to the house, she went straight to bed, trying to avoid Natalie and her brother. She didn't want to see him when he came back from work. Becca fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow; she was emotionally drained and tired, her eyes burning. She only woke up to the whispers of Will and Nat at midnight. She couldn't quite understand what they were saying, but the tone was far from calm; they were arguing, probably about her and what had happened earlier. With Mr. Snuggles surrounded tightly in her arms, she repeated to herself one day less, although the phrase no longer held any meaning. 

There was a moment when she felt the door open behind her. Becca closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep as some footsteps approached her, but they didn't draw near. A deep sigh was heard before the door closed again, it was probably Will. 

"Becca, Beccs" The girl opened her gritty eyes to see her brother's face right in front of her. "Sorry, kid" he whispered, " I let you sleep as much as I could, but it's late now". 

She groaned and covered her head with the blanket. She felt all of yesterday's weight on her chest and it burned. 

"Come on" you could hear him smiling. "I made pancakes and I cut them into flower shapes just as you love them".

Becca uncovered abruptly and looked at her brother with a furrowed brow and a question mark all over her face, "yeah, I might have loved that when I was like 5, maybe?" 

"Whatever, I thought it would be a nice gesture. Come on!". 

Becca rubbed her eyes and yawned while she managed to answer at the same time "I'm not hungry". 

"Come on, I can't eat them all by myself... It's just the two of us this morning". He hoped that last part would convince her. 

“Alright, fine!”

Becca was thankful that Will didn't bring up the topic of the incident in the bathroom. She felt a wave of relief, even though there was an unmistakable tension hanging in the air. Despite the lingering unease, they managed to share a breakfast that felt almost normal, right before parting to school. 

"I'm sorry, Becca. I really am," Will said to her before she got out of the car to head to her classes. His voice carried a heavy dose of regret. "I'm just glad you're okay, kid". 

It was hard to concentrate in school that day.

Unfortunately, Thursday was Natalie’s day off from The Med, so Becca had mentally prepared to spend the entire day cooped up in her room. However, her brother wasn't willing to let her isolate herself completely and convinced her, albeit somewhat reluctantly, to come out to the living room to work on her homework. So, there she was, sitting on the floor with her schoolwork spread out on the coffee table. Occasionally, trying not to be too obvious, Will would peek his head in to make sure everything was okay.

"Where are you going?" Will asked her on one of those occasions.

Annoyed by the constant monitoring, the girl replied, "To the bathroom. Do you want to come?"

It was then that Becca realized Owen was alone in her room. The little boy was trying to reach Mr. Snuggles, who was lying in the middle of the bed.

"Oh, no. Not that one, Owen," she said calmly as she moved the plush toy away and hid it under the pillows. "Not that one."

Becca reentered the living room with Owen, holding his hand, only to discover her brother and his girlfriend discreetly inspecting her belongings. Natalie was holding Becca's backpack.

"Did you lose something?" Becca inquired, her voice tinged with curiosity and concern.

Both adults seemed surprised by her unexpected return.

"What are you doing?" Becca questioned, casting an inquisitive look at the scene.

Natalie turned to Will, who appeared momentarily frozen and somewhat apprehensive.

"It's just a precaution," she replied.

Becca pressed her lips together and nodded, her voice soft, "Okay, then. I'll leave you to it," and she walked away, retreating to the bathroom where she decided to take a shower.

Somehow, she managed to maintain her composure, but a tempest of emotions was brewing inside her. It wasn't anxiety this time, but a profound sadness and a gnawing insecurity that consumed her. The warm water helped her relax, and a few silent tears mingled with the flowing streams. As a distraction, she began to reproduce her dance solo, moving her hands along the music playing in her mind. She counted the blue tiles one by one, each one a brief distraction from her turbulent thoughts. With great effort, she changed into her pajamas, her still-wet, unbrushed hair clinging to her shoulders, and she lay on the bed, although the clock showed it was only 8:00 pm.

Something beneath her pillow bothered her, and then she remembered she had hidden her cat there, which brought a small, bittersweet smile to her face. She clung to the plush toy for a while, taking in its comforting scent, reminiscent of her mom, and it gradually eased her feelings. Without letting go of the stuffed animal, she extended her arm to retrieve her phone from the drawer and opened her conversation with Jay.

I really, really miss you, Jay Jay

Becca was at her breaking point, unsure of how much more she could endure.

[eirinstiva]

“Give me a cigarette. Put it in my mouth. Thanks.”

Life has been really chaotic these days, so I'm trying to catch up with my Substack suscriptions~ For Maurice mails is easier to comment every two chapters, so this is time for chapters 7 and 8.

“You needn’t have done that, any time would do for my rot,” Durham protested. He went on more earnestly. “Hall, I don’t want to worry you with my beliefs, or rather with their absence, but to explain the situation I must just tell you that I’m unorthodox. I’m not a Christian.”

Some things never change, like the drama when you get distant with your religion/church/spirituality/uknow.

“Oh, I don’t know. Are you ragging, or was your vac really beastly, Durham?” “Absolute Hell, misery and Hell.” Maurice’s fist unclenched to reform with a handful of hair in its grasp. “Waou, that hurts!” cried the other joyously.

... wow

There was nothing but ragging for many days after that, Durham becoming quite as silly as himself. Wherever they met, which was everywhere, they would butt and spar and embroil their friends. At last Durham got tired. Being the weaker he was hurt sometimes, and his chairs had been broken.

Now I am the one who wants a cigarette. Life in public schools was so troublesome. I don't know how much has changed since then but this kind of thing feels like a day in a highschool in a poor and dangerous part of the city, where there's at least one student on probation.

Maurice felt the change at once. His coltishness passed, but they had become demonstrative during it. They walked arm in arm or arm around shoulder now. When they sat it was nearly always in the same position—Maurice in a chair, and Durham at his feet, leaning against him. In the world of their friends this attracted no notice. Maurice would stroke Durham’s hair.

“You do care a lot about something, Hall, but it obviously isn’t the Trinity.” “What is it then?” “Rugger.”

Rugger=rugby

What the hell is going on? There's a lot of philosophical discussion but what really matters is this:

“You’re beastly hard,” said Maurice. “I always knew I was stupid, it’s no news. The Risley set are more your sort and you had better talk to them.”

Yeah, I know that feeling...

“You’ve read the Symposium?” Maurice had not, and did not add that he had explored Martial. “It’s all in there—not meat for babes, of course, but you ought to read it. Read it this vac.”

And this is the begining of the queer road 🌈

“Your poor father always went to church.” “I’m not my father.” “Morrie, Morrie, what a thing to say.” “Well, he isn’t,” said Kitty in her perky way. “Really, mother, come.”

That was brave!

Did society, while professing to be so moral and sensitive, really mind anything?

I never though this book would have so many moments of religious discussion, but what I really never expected was the glow up of Maurice.

Something went wrong at once. Maurice paid her compliments, said that her hair etc. was ripping. She tried to stop him, but he was insensitive, and did not know that he had annoyed her. He had read that girls always pretended to stop men who complimented them.

Sorry Miss Olcott, some things haven't changed

At least he has some plans for his future. Chapter 9 and 10 are already out, but this post is already so long.