#oh i really missed these chaotic moments during my way

[doumadono]

Synopsis: in a surprising twist orchestrated by Toga Himiko, two antisocial League of Villains members, Dabi and you, find an unexpected connection during an awkward blind date

MY HERO ACADEMIA MASTERLIST - PART II

You’ve never been one for socializing. The whole concept of small talk, mingling, and putting yourself out there has always felt foreign to you. After all, socializing was never your strong suit, and you were quite content with your single status. You’ve always preferred the comfort of a good book or the solitude of your thoughts. 

But that’s exactly why Toga took it upon herself to organize a blind date for you. She’s always been a bit of a meddler, and apparently, your perpetual singleness was too tempting a problem for her to ignore. “Come on, it’ll be fun!” she had chirped with her usual manic enthusiasm. "Trust me, you'll love him!" Toga had chirped with a mischievous grin. "He's just like you - hates socializing, too!"

And you had no choice but to go along with it, if only to get her to stop pestering you. 

Toga had transformed one of the dingy rooms into something that vaguely resembled a romantic setting. There were candles (probably stolen), a table (slightly wobbly), and two chairs (one missing a leg but propped up with a stack of books). It was sweet in its own chaotic way, very much in line with Toga’s personality.

You sat down, fidgeting with the edge of the tablecloth, wondering who in the world Toga could have set you up with. She had been annoyingly secretive about the whole thing, dropping hints that only served to confuse you more. For a moment, you wondered if Himiko might have set you up with no one else but Shigaraki himself. The boss was the most antisocial person you’d ever met, which could mean this date would be an absolute nightmare. But there was no backing out now. 

The door creaked open, and Dabi walked in. 

Your eyes widened in surprise. 

Dabi? Of all people? 

The blue-flamed villain looked as disinterested as ever, hands in his pockets, eyes half-lidded with boredom. “Great,” he muttered, not even trying to hide his lack of enthusiasm. “Toga’s matchmaking now.”

You offered a small, awkward smile. “Looks like it.”

Dabi slouched into the chair across from you, and for a moment, the two of you just stared at each other in uncomfortable silence. Finally, he spoke. “So, how did Toga rope you into this?” he asked, his tone as dry as sandpaper.

You shrugged. “She didn’t really give me a choice. And you?”

He smirked, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “Pretty much the same. I guess she thinks we’re both too antisocial for our own good.”

You couldn’t help but laugh a little. “She might be right about that.”

Dabi chuckled, a low, almost menacing sound. “Sounds like her. She loves meddling in other people’s business.”

You nodded, grateful for the small talk. “Yeah, she’s something else.”

Another awkward silence fell over you. You glanced around the room, trying to think of something to say. Your eyes landed on a small stack of books in the corner, and an idea popped into your head. “You like reading?” you asked, nodding towards the books.

Dabi followed your gaze and scoffed. “Not really. I only read articles about how great heroes are supposed to be.”

You blinked in surprise. “Why’s that?”

He smirked, a glint of mischief in his eyes. “So I can read between the lines and find their weak spots. It’s more fun tearing them down when you know their flaws.”

"I saw you reading something about Endeavor earlier," you ventured, trying to sound nonchalant. You were still new, still trying to weave yourself into the fabric of the League without causing too much disruption.

Dabi’s smirk faltered slightly, and his eyes narrowed. “Oh, did ya?”

“Yeah,” you continued, curious. “You were pretty engrossed in it. Do you like Endeavor?”

His eyelid gave a slight twitch, a nearly imperceptible movement, but it was the blue flames dancing over his knuckles that caught your attention. They flickered menacingly as he slowly clenched his hands into fists. "He’s just my main interest," Dabi replied, his voice dripping with a wry amusement that did not reach his eyes. There was something ominously calm about the way he spoke, a laid-back tone that contrasted sharply with the dangerous glint in his gaze.

Looking to shift the heavy atmosphere that his words had conjured, you ventured to a lighter topic, one that might catch him off-guard in a humorous way. “So, you’ve read everything about him, huh? What about fanfiction? Ever dive into that rabbit hole?”

Dabi made a scoffing sound, a dismissive and sharp exhalation that cut through the levity like a knife. His gaze hardened, the blue flames flickering dangerously as if they were an extension of his simmering rage. “I don’t give a fuck about what people write about that scumbag,” he said, his voice cold and scornful. “How they idolize him in the creations of their sick minds,” he continued, his lips twisting into a derisive sneer. “But I’m sure they’re as sick as Todoroki Enji himself. One day, I’m going to destroy that fucker,” Dabi declared, his words not just a promise but a vow, laden with all the intensity of his deep-seated hatred. 

After a moment, his fire faded out, and Dabi leaned back in his chair, looking you over. “So, I assume you read when you’re not being forced into awkward dates?”

You hesitated for a moment, then decided to go with honesty. “I read a lot. Mostly horror novels. And I like to cook. It’s calming.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Cool, I guess.”

The conversation continued like that, awkward and stilted at first, but slowly easing into something more comfortable. You talked about books and movies, some random stuff like your favorite food types, your mutual disdain for social gatherings, and the absurdity of Toga’s matchmaking efforts. 

At one point, Himiko burst into the room with a tray of hastily made snacks, beaming with pride. “How’s it going, lovebirds?”

Dabi shot her a withering look, slowly cocking his eyebrow. “We’re not lovebirds, Toga.”

You couldn’t help but smile. “But it’s going surprisingly well. As you can see, I’m still alive.”

Toga clapped her hands together. “I knew it! You two are perfect for each other. I’m a genius!”

She scampered off, leaving you and Dabi to your conversation. 

Despite the unusual setting and the odd circumstances, you found yourself actually enjoying the evening. 

Dabi’s dry wit and cynical outlook somehow meshed well with your own reserved nature. Dabi might not be the most conventional date, but there was something about him that intrigued you. And for someone who had always avoided socializing, that was saying something.

“So, how did you end up joining the League?” you asked, munching a jelly bean.

Dabi leaned back, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Wanted to burn the world down, found like-minded people. What about you?”

You shrugged, not wanting to delve too deeply into your past just yet. “Wanted to make a difference in my own way. The heroes… they never really helped people like me.”

Dabi’s eyes glinted with a hint of understanding. “Yeah, they’re all hypocrites.” He leaned back, crossing his arms. “What about you, rookie? What do you think of the League so far?”

You hesitated, choosing your words carefully. “It’s different. I mean, it’s not what I expected, but in a good way. Everyone’s really passionate about what they believe in.”

Dabi’s gaze softened slightly as he scoffed. “Yeah, we’re a pretty dysfunctional family. But it works somehow.”

“Have you ever thought about what you’ll do after all this?” you asked, genuinely curious.

Dabi shrugged. “No. And I don’t really care. Guess I’m more of a ‘live in the moment’ kind of guy. What about you?”

You took a moment to think. “I’m not sure. I just want to find a place where I belong. Somewhere I can be myself without having to pretend.”

Dabi’s smirk returned. “Sounds like the League’s not a bad fit for you, then.”

"What do you think of Shigaraki as a leader?"

Dabi smirked, slowly stretching his fingers. "He's got vision, I'll give him that. We might be a bunch of misfits, but he’s the glue that holds us together. For now."

"Do you think he’ll succeed?" you tilted your head to the side.

As long as he keeps his head on straight and doesn’t get too ambitious too fast, maybe. But I have my own plans, too, and I rather focus on them.”

Curious to learn more about him, you asked, “What were you like before joining the League?”

Dabi’s expression darkened momentarily. “Let’s just say, I’ve had my fair share of shitty experiences. But that’s the past, and the past never fucking dies.”

You sensed his reluctance to dive deeper, so you shared a bit about yourself instead. “I was a loner. Never really fit in anywhere.”

He taunted, “Yeah, I get that. We’re all here because we don’t fit in out there.” Eventually, Dabi leaned forward after lazily chewing a cracker, his expression serious for once. “This evening wasn’t as terrible as I thought it’d be. And you weren't that bad either. Maybe we could do it again sometime. Without Toga’s interference, of course. I know a few nice places, far enough from these crazy maniacs.”

You felt a warmth spread through your chest as you giggled, “I’d like that, Dabi.”

He nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Yeah, me too, actually.”

Perhaps there was something to be said for this whole notion of socializing after all. Maybe it could bring a little light into the shadows.

[screaminglygay]

Kate Bishop headcanons

pairing: kate bishop x fem!reader

word count: 2.4k

warnings: possibly bad grammar, swearing

an: here is little something, i´m kinda having hard time to write a full fic at the moment, but i hope i will get there eventually!

Kate Bishop hates mornings as much as you do, but she will wake up before you to make you your favorite breakfast.

Sometimes you argue about that, since she is still the one recovering from the mission. And you should be the one taking care of her.

She always chooses and buys some take out for you, since she knows you´re the worst at chosing what to eat and in return you always chose the movie or a show to watch later together.

"We´re both indecisive, but you chosing a movie and me chosing a food, sounds like the best compromise we could ever think off." She proudly states.

Kate who always makes sure you drink plenty of water during the day, because there was one time you almost passed out from not drinking a single glass.

"Ugh…" you sigh.

Kate´s eyes move from her phone to you, "you okay?"

You nod slowly, while closing your eyes, "my head just hurts."

She knows the answer to her question, but she still asks, "how many glasses of water did you drink today?" Her head tilting slightly, already knowing you will try to lie your way out of this. Like you always do.

"A few-" you open your eyes, the archer already looking at you with her eyebrow raised, "would be nice, if I had, but uh none. I didn´t drink any, but that´s not the caus-"

Kate is so used to your little water issue, so she just stand up and goes to the kitchen, pouring you a glass of water and then coming back. "Drink it and no buts."

If you didn´t know Kate, you would be imitaded, but you´re not, already planning some smart remark, but the headache starts to be real pain in the ass. So with defeat you take the glass and drink it.

"Good, you can thank me later." Kate smiles and goes to pour you some more.

"I don´t see the point, the only thing it makes me do is to go pee, not a better skin, not making the headache go away, I don´t feel fresh at all…" You mumble under your breath, while Kate just chuckles at your words.

After some time you feel better and you hate to admit it, but Kate notices, she always notice the small things about you.

"Feeling better?"

Teaching Lucky to find you, just so she can have an excuse to talk to you.

"Where is (Y/N)?" Kate asks looking at Lucky.

"Miss (Y/L/N) is in her own room at the moment." The A.I. voice speak up.

Kate just sighs, "thank you, F.R.I.D.A.Y."

Sometimes Lucky is just full of Kate being a 'subtle' attention seeker.

When you two are cooking, it is always a disaster, not that you can´t cook, Wanda taught you something, but it is just too chaotic with Kate, that you are kinda banned to be in the kitchen together making something other than cereals.

"Wanda are you for real?" You look at the readhead putting a photo of you and Kate on the fridge with a big 'X' on it.

"It needs to be done, you two are horrible!" She looks at you.

"It was not my fault-" you try to argue, but there is no way you´re winning this fight.

Wanda cuts you off, "how do you start a fire, while making spaghetti?!"

You throw your hands up in a surrender, "I don´t know, ask Kate!"

Kate who is always taking your side, no matter what Pietro is arguying with you about.

"Pineapple is not bad on pizza," Pietro looks at you, annoyed.

"It is a crime. You don´t put blueberries on pizza either." You state your own thoughts.

"Oh my god, really?" Pietro throw his hands around.

"What do you think, Kate?" You look at her.

"I think (Y/N) is right, it is not the pizza I would choose." Kate chuckles.

"We ate pineapple pizza together, Bishop!" Pietro argues and you just look at Kate.

"I- yeah we did, but I still thinks there are way better pizzas in the world." Kate shrugs.

"See?" You look at Pietro.

"She said that there are better pizzas, not that it is a crime!" You don´t talk about pinaaapple pizza in the household anymore.

She insists that you walk Lucky with her because she's worried he might see a deer and run off. She definitely can't walk him alone since she's still 'recovering'.

You´re laying on the couch, watching whatever show is playing on the TV, you´re kinda existing, just taking a break on the Sunday afternoon. Not really planing on doing anything more than lay and relax.

Until Kate rushes in with Lucky, who jumps on you and licks your face.

You giggle, "hey buddy, hi, hi, hi," you pet his head.

"Come on," Kate says as Lucky jumps down from the couch, "you too, sleepyhead."

"Hm? Why?" You yawn.

"We´re going out, on a walk."

"Do we have to?" You groan.

Kate shrugs, "I was thinking you would join us, since Lucky is just hyperactive and I´m not really sure if I can hold him." And just like that, you´re up. Sometimes you´re listening better than Lucky does.

"I´ll just get my jacket," Kate gives you the jacket you were mentioning, "oh, thanks," you smile.

The whole time you we´re making sure Kate is feeling okay, in fact she was feeling just amazing and Lucky was happy that two of his favorite people are walking with him.

Kate who is always appearing in your room, because Yelena taught her so, when she´s bored.

After a long day of training with Natasha you finally come to your room, throwing your stuff on the chair, but missing.

"That was a shitty throw," you hear Kate says.

"Oh my god!" You jump at the sudden voice, "what the hell are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you."

"Jesus christ…" you shake your head.

"Nope, just me," she smiles.

You look at her, rolling your eyes.

"That´s all the exitement I will get from you?"

"I saw you this morning," you take the workout clothes that are on the ground and put them on the chair.

"Yeah, that was twelve hours ago…" Kate pouts.

You look at her once more, "weren´t you supposed to do some paperwork?"

"All done," she smiles proudly, "but then I got bored so I went to see you."

"And how long ago that was?"

"4 hours ago…"

"You were waiting here for four hours? Wouldn´t be easier to go to the gym and find me?" You´re trying to understand the achers thought proces.

"Maybe, but I wanted to see if I can use what Yelena taught me… sneak in and attack, both worked." She says while moving her hands, probably to gesture the attack.

You nod, still not really understadning what´s going on right now, "well I keep my doors unlocked all the time, so that was not that hard, Katie. And I would never in my dreams thought about you waiting here for me for four hours, so yeah, the 'attack' worked." You admit to her.

"Not even in your dreams? Damn." Ugh, how you hated when she did that, this friendly flirting, it was kinda killing you, but it was on the daily basis for her.

You and her both are always rambling about something you are passionate about and the other one is always listening, no matter how obscure the topic is.

"So I dowlanded this app, and it tracks your steps and it shows you how long it would take you to go to the Mordor. And it is really cool, like it shows you all this achivements and you have your own character." You open your phone to show Kate the app.

"Wow, that is really nice. So how long will it take you?" Kate asks looking back at you.

"Well, since this week I was just walking Lucky or laying on my ass it says…" you look at the date, "I´ll be there in July 17th"

Kate hums, "that´s good."

"2025," you add.

"Oh… is it that far away?"

"I think Frodo was there in 183 days, but he was walking all day everyday, or running and since I don´t really have to save the world I´m not in a big rush." You giggle, "did you know that even though Frodo was the hero who saved the Middle-Earth, Hobbits were actually hunted for fun?"

"I didn´t know that, no." Kate shakes her head.

"It is so fascinating to me that this world has sooo much to offer like, few weeks ago I read a book about all the battles and wars there´s been." And there goes your ramble.

"You never told me your favorite character." Kate smiles as she notices your eyes sparkling with exitement.

"That is a tough one, I can´t really say the top one, because that is just impossible, but I really do like the whole trio of Aragon, Gimli and Legolas…" as you start to ramble Kate obviously gets lost a bit, but it is nice to see you talk about stuff you love.

And the same goes all the other way around.

"(Y/N)! Look!" Kate shows you the new arrows she made with Clint.

"Oh, that is very nice!" You smile as you take on in your hand, "and it´s light, how did you make it so light?"

"It is! First, I started with high-quality carbon shafts because they're super strong and lightweight. Then, I carefully attached the fletchings – those are the feathers at the back to ensure they stabilize the arrow in flight. Then I used a jig to make sure they're perfectly aligned. For the tips, I have a variety of arrowheads, depending on what I need broadheads for hunting, blunted tips for practice, and even some trick arrows with special gadgets."

"So what´s the difference between this one and the one you showed me last week?"

"Oh, good question!" Kate nods. "Last week's arrow was designed for target practice, so it had a simple field point tip and plastic fletchings for durability. This one, though, is a trick arrow… I've added a grappling hook mechanism inside the shaft! The fletchings are a bit more aerodynamic too, made from real feathers for smoother flight. Plus, the nock has a small LED light that activates when it's shot, making it perfect for night missions."

She is always suportive of you, until the whole team is having a game night. Kate can turn into someone sooo competitive and it is just someone else.

"UNO baby!" Pietro yells as he places red one on the table.

That didn´t last long, Wanda put +2 and then Kate did, you did, Yelena did and Pietro had to take 8 cards, which made Pietro almost lose it.

Now it is your turn, "UNO, thank you very much," you put down blue seven. No one has another blue, which is just perfect for you, since your last card is blue six, you are already preparing some winning speech, but then Kate steps in and places +4.

Kate smiles at you, "thank you very much," she mocks you.

And then another round comes and she gives you another +4.

"Can you stop?" You look at her, being slightly frustrated.

"Game is a game, (Y/N)." She shrugs.

The game night ends with Wanda and Yelena laughing, Pietro almost crying, you having 26 cards and Kate winning.

Doing silly quizzes together, you found on the internet. Are you a spoon or a fork?

"You are a definetly a spoon." Kate mumbles as she clicks on some answer on her phone.

"What makes you say that?" You look at her.

"You´re small, cute and you wouldn´t hurt anyone," she says without missing a beat.

"None of that is true… I´m not that small and I could hurt someone."

"I´m taller than you, so yes, you´re small. And you cannot hurt someone." Her bright eyes finally looks into yours.

"Im an Avenger, I have to hurt someone." You are a bit offended.

"Yeah, but like a spoon, you won´t do much damage. Not because you´re weak, but because you choose not to."

"You can poke someone's eye out with spoon though."

Kate nods, "but you only do it in a case of emergency…"

"Who would choose a fork as a weapon?" Kate chuckles at your words.

"That is not the point, (Y/N)."

It turns out, you are really a spoon and she is a fork, but to this day you still have zero idea what it really means. It is still a stupid quizz online at the end of the day.

Showing eachother things that reminded you of eachother.

"I got something for you…" Kate says as she unclips Lucky´s leash.

"You got something for me?" You smile and close your book.

"Yup, now close your eyes and give me your hand." She was outisde so you can feel how cold her hand is, it sends small shivers down your body.

Kate places something small in your hand, it is also cold, you can´t really guess what it is, "open."

When you open your eyes, you look down on your hand, only to find a tiny coffee mug.

You let out a chuckle, "that is so adorable!"

"Tiny mug for an even tinier person." Kate chuckles, "and look inside."

"No way!" In the bottom of the mug, there is small frog painted, it is so tiny you wouldn´t really noticed it is in there.

Her teaching you how to use bow and you being not so perfect at it.

"I though this would be much easier," you say when you have problem to even draw an arrow.

"You need to just take a deep breath and concetnrate on the red dot over there, okay?" Kate whispers while being really close to you, which is not helping.

And you missed again.

"Not bad, at least you released the arrow," she tries to comfort you.

You sigh, "why does it look so easy, it looks so cool, when Katniss is doing it."

Kate´s eyebrow raise, "like Everdeen?"

"You know any other archer who´s name is Katniss?" You turn to face Kate.

"No, but I know better archer than her… me maybe?" You notice that Kate´s posture straightens. She looks offended.

You chuckle and nod, "right, well… I think that Katniss would teach me how to shoot the arrow properly, or at least hit the target." You tease, knowing what will happen.

"Like I can´t do that? Pfff, turn around." Her hands slides on your waist, making your body face the target. Kate taps on your thigh for you to move your leg slightly. "Be straight," that's easier said than done. "And keep your shoulders and your whole back in one line, don´t be too forward or too backwards," she mumbles and her hands slide on your lower back. "Just like that and when you´re feeling ready, just draw the arrow, take a deep breath, release the arrow and exhale."

You did what she told you to, it turns out that listening orders from women is kinda your strenght, and when you released the arrow, it didn´t really hit the middle, but it defiently did hit the target.

"Oh my god! It went over there!" You jump with happiness, "I did it!"

"Yeah you did, that was a good shot." She smirks, "so is Katniss still better archer than me?"

Thank you for reading! <3

[catn4pp]

Schlatt x Reader | Secrets

an: IM SO SORRY.. i kinda went into hibernation during the summer. i start school in 3 days so heres a extraaaa long one to make up for it!!! luv ya <3

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The evening was buzzing with laughter and clinking glasses as everyone gathered around the table, sharing stories and inside jokes. You sat next to him, your legs brushing against each other under the table. The whole group was in high spirits, completely oblivious to the tension that hummed between the two of you.

As the conversation flowed, his hand slipped beneath the table, brushing against yours. Your heart skipped a beat when his fingers intertwined with yours, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. You glanced at him from the corner of your eye, trying to suppress a smile. He was deep in conversation with someone, acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary, but you could see the corner of his mouth twitching up.

You squeezed back, your thumb lightly tracing circles on the back of his hand. No one noticed—why would they? To everyone else, you were just friends. They didn’t know about the stolen moments like these, the touches that went unseen.

His hand stayed in yours for a while longer, the connection grounding you amidst the chaotic energy around the table. Eventually, he pulled away, his fingers brushing against your thigh before retreating, leaving a lingering warmth in their wake. You missed his touch the moment it was gone, but the night was still young, and you knew there’d be more opportunities to be close.

As the night went on, that warmth never left you. Even as people came and went, vying for his attention.

Even as people came and went, vying for his attention, you couldn't shake the feeling of his touch, like an electric current still running beneath your skin. You leaned back against the bar, watching him with a knowing smile as he casually entertained a group of people. He was in his element, his deep voice carrying over the noise as he cracked jokes and charmed everyone around him.

You noticed a few of the people getting a little too close, their laughs a little too eager, but you weren’t worried. You knew how charismatic he could be, and you also knew that at the end of the night, it was you he’d be coming home to. It was hard not to feel a twinge of possessiveness when you saw someone openly flirting with him, but you pushed it aside. They didn’t know about the secret that only the two of you shared, and that made it all the more special.

He caught your eye from across the room, raising an eyebrow as if to say, “Are you seeing this?” You stifled a laugh, giving him a subtle nod. He excused himself from the group, making his way over to you with that signature smirk on his face.

“Enjoying the show?” he teased, leaning in close enough that you could feel the warmth of his breath on your ear.

“Yeah, it’s pretty entertaining,” you shot back, your voice light and teasing. “But I think the main act’s a little overrated.”

“Oh really?” he quipped, leaning back just enough to catch your gaze. His eyes sparkled with mischief, but beneath it all, you could see the affection he tried so hard to keep hidden in public. “Guess I’ll have to up my game.”

You shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. “You could try, but I think I’ve seen enough to know how it ends.”

He chuckled, the sound low and warm. “You’ve got a point there.” He bumped your shoulder playfully, his fingers grazing your arm for just a moment. It was enough to send a shiver down your spine, reminding you of the connection you shared, even when others tried to steal his attention.

But no matter how much he played along with the attention, you both knew where his heart truly was. As the night wore on, and the party began to wind down, you found yourself lingering near the hallway, waiting for the right moment. He had been occupied most of the night, surrounded by friends and admirers, but you could tell he was looking for an excuse to disappear for a while.

When your eyes met again, you tilted your head toward the hallway, giving him a pointed look. Without a word, he excused himself from the conversation and casually made his way over to you.

You didn’t need to say anything as you grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hallway, away from the prying eyes of the partygoers. The house was large enough that it didn’t take long to find a quiet, dark corner where you could finally be alone.

As soon as you were out of sight, he pulled you close, his hands resting on your hips as he leaned in to press his lips to yours. The kiss was urgent, filled with the pent-up desire that had been building all night. You melted into him, your fingers tangling in his hair as you let yourself get lost in the moment.

“I missed you,” he murmured against your lips, his voice husky and breathless.

You smiled, pressing another kiss to his lips before pulling back just enough to meet his gaze. “Missed you too.”

For a while, the two of you stayed there, hidden away in your little corner of the world, stealing kisses and whispered words. The thrill of keeping your relationship secret added an extra layer of intensity to the moment, making it even harder to pull away.

But eventually, you knew you had to. With a sigh, you stepped back, straightening your clothes and trying to regain your composure. He did the same, his hand lingering on your arm for a moment longer before he finally let go.

“Guess we should get back before people start wondering where we went,” you said reluctantly.

“Yeah,” he agreed, though the reluctance in his voice matched yours. “But don’t think this is over. We’ve got plenty of time once we get out of here.”

You grinned, feeling a flutter of excitement at the promise in his words. “Can’t wait.”

The next afternoon, you both found yourselves at his place, enjoying a rare day off together. The chaos of the night before felt like a distant memory, and now you were basking in the comfort of each other’s company. It was one of those lazy afternoons where neither of you had any plans, so you ended up lounging on the couch, watching some random show on TV.

It didn’t take long for the banter to start. He made a snarky comment about your favorite character, and you couldn’t let it slide. You shot back with a playful insult, and before long, the two of you were in a full-on banter session, tossing playful jabs and sarcastic remarks at each other.

“You’re so wrong,” you laughed, shoving him lightly. “There’s no way that character is as bad as you say!”

“Oh please,” he scoffed, grabbing a pillow and whacking you with it. “You’re just blind to their flaws because you’re obsessed.”

“I am not obsessed!” you protested, grabbing another pillow and retaliating. The two of you ended up in a mock pillow fight, laughing so hard you could barely catch your breath.

He managed to pin you down on the couch, his weight holding you in place as he grinned down at you triumphantly. “Admit it, you’re obsessed,” he teased, his face hovering just inches above yours.

“Never,” you shot back, though your voice was breathless from laughing so much.

For a moment, the two of you just stared at each other, the laughter fading into a comfortable silence. The playful atmosphere shifted, becoming something softer, more intimate. His grin softened into a smile, and he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to your lips.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?” he murmured against your lips, his voice filled with affection.

“You’re the one who started it,” you replied, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer. “But I guess I can forgive you.”

“Lucky me,” he chuckled, kissing you again, this time slower, more lingering. The playful fight was forgotten, replaced by the warmth of being close to each other, the rest of the world fading away.

And as the weeks passed, you found yourselves spending more and more time together, sneaking moments of closeness whenever you could. But the more time you spent together, the harder it became to keep your relationship under wraps. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to tell your friends—you just enjoyed the thrill of sneaking around, of having something that was just yours. But you couldn’t deny that people were starting to notice.

One evening, you were hanging out at a mutual friend’s house, surrounded by your usual group of friends. It was supposed to be a casual get-together, but you couldn’t help but feel like there were more eyes on the two of you than usual.

As the night went on, you noticed that people were whispering more, exchanging glances whenever you were together. It was subtle, but it was there, and it made you a little uneasy.

Later, when you found a moment alone in the kitchen, you voiced your concerns. “I think our friends are getting a little suspicious of why we’re hanging out all the time.”

He raised an eyebrow, leaning against the counter with a smirk. “You think?”

“I’m serious,” you said, leaning in closer so no one else could hear. “I don’t think we’re being as discreet as we thought.”

He shrugged, though you could tell he was thinking it over. “Maybe. But I don’t think anyone’s figured it out yet.”

“Yeah, but if we’re not careful, they will.”

He chuckled, reaching out to take your hand, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “Well, maybe that’s not such a bad thing. What’s the worst that could happen if they found out?”

You bit your lip, considering his words. You hadn’t really thought about it before, but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if your friends knew. After all, they were your friends—they’d probably be happy for you.

“I guess you’re right,” you admitted, squeezing his hand. “But let’s still try to keep it on the down-low for now. At least until we’re ready.”

“Fair enough,” he said, though there was a hint of something else in his voice, something you couldn’t quite place.

You didn’t think much of it at the time, but it lingered in the back of your mind, even as the night went on. The group eventually moved from the kitchen back to the living room, where someone suggested a movie night. Everyone settled in, and before long, you were all sprawled out on the couches and floor, snacks scattered everywhere.

At some point during the movie, you caught him glancing at you, a small smile playing on his lips. You smiled back, the ease of the moment making you forget about the earlier tension. But then, as he reached over to pass you a drink, it slipped out.

“Here you go, Toots.”

The room went quiet for a split second, and you could feel the eyes of your friends on you. Your heart skipped a beat, and you quickly tried to play it off.

“Oh, come on,” you said with a dramatic roll of your eyes, dripping with sarcasm. “You’re really going with ‘toots’? What is this, a cheesy rom-com?”

As you tried to deflect with sarcasm, the tension in the room lightened just a bit, and everyone laughed, assuming you were just messing around. But you couldn’t ignore the slight slip-up. He caught your eye, and there was a flicker of concern in his gaze—just for a moment—before he shook it off and went back to the movie as if nothing had happened.

The rest of the night passed without incident, but the close call was enough to keep you both on edge. As you left the gathering and headed back to his place, the conversation that had been hovering in the background for weeks finally bubbled to the surface.

“We’ve gotta be more careful,” you said quietly as you both walked through the door. The air in his apartment felt different tonight, like the weight of the secret was starting to settle more heavily between you.

“I know,” he agreed, closing the door behind him. He leaned against it, running a hand through his hair. “But it’s getting harder, you know?”

You nodded, dropping your bag on the floor and kicking off your shoes. “Yeah. I mean, it’s not just our friends anymore—it’s the fans, too. If they found out…”

He sighed, pushing off the door and walking over to you. “If they found out, it would be chaos. You know how intense they can get.” He reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch gentle. “But I’m getting tired of hiding. Aren’t you?”

You leaned into his touch, closing your eyes for a moment. “I am. But at the same time, I like what we have. I like that it’s just ours, without anyone else getting in the way.”

He smiled softly, his thumb brushing against your cheek. “Yeah, I get that. But sometimes I wish I could just hold your hand in public, or kiss you without worrying about who’s watching.”

You opened your eyes, meeting his gaze. There was something vulnerable there, something you hadn’t seen before. “Do you want to tell them?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

He hesitated, his hand dropping to his side as he took a step back. “I don’t know. I do, but I don’t. I just… I kind of don’t want us to be a secret anymore, but I don’t want to lose what we have, either.”

The silence that followed was heavy, filled with the weight of everything you both wanted but couldn’t have. You understood his struggle because you felt it too. The secrecy was thrilling, but it was also exhausting, and the longer it went on, the more it felt like a ticking time bomb.

“What if we take it slow?” you suggested after a moment, breaking the silence. “Maybe we start by telling a few close friends, see how it goes, and then… we’ll figure out the rest.”

He looked at you for a long moment, considering your words. Finally, he nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Yeah, I think that could work. As long as we’re in this together.”

“Always,” you promised, stepping forward to wrap your arms around him. He held you close, his chin resting on top of your head as you both stood there, taking comfort in each other’s presence.

“Let’s start with our friends,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your temple. “And we’ll take it from there. No rush.”

“Agreed,” you whispered back, closing your eyes and letting yourself relax into his embrace. The future was uncertain, but as long as you had each other, you knew you’d figure it out.

For now, though, you’d enjoy the quiet moments like this—just the two of you, away from prying eyes and the pressures of the outside world. Because no matter what happened, you knew that at the end of the day, he was yours, and that was all that mattered.

—————————————————————————

[strongheartneteyam]

Realize where you belong.

Pairing: neteyam sully x female!dreamwalker!reader/female!human!reader

Chapter 5

CW: dubious consent, mentions of NON CON, neteyam yearning for reader, angst all over, you can see the sexual tension with your naked eyes, possessive neteyam, feelings of general and sexual confusion, mentions of sexual fluids, talks of being sexually aroused, sexual content, tsaheylu is mentioned, reader is still scared of Neteyam but she longs for him too, fear kink (if you squint), mentions of blood, size kink (if you really squint), primal [hunter/prey] kink (if you squint HARD), crying, strong language, the word "harassment" is mentioned, MAY BE TRIGGERING to some people, mentions of exophilia, indecisive reader, heartbroken Neteyam, heartbroken reader. Please, tell me if I missed anything important!

I slept a lot during the day yesterday and was up until late with my bf having dinner, watching YouTube etc and, when he went to sleep, I was restless, still didn't feel like sleeping so, I decided to edit and finish this chapter that was being kept in my Docs for way too long, it was getting dusty 😂 So, I might have stayed up until morning in the zone editing and finishing this 👀 I'm REALLY sleepy and exhausted rn, so, if some parts of this chapter don't really make sense, try to have empathy for my poor tired being and forgive me <3 I'm aware that I'm a hot mess who has insomnia and needs to get a grip and not put her art above healthy sleeping habits but what can I do? I'm one of those chaotic artists who have a hectic, unstable life and feel the most alive when they're immersed in their craft, running away from their problems, pouring their whole soul into their works 🤷🏻‍♀️

Not proofread. Me. too. tired. 💤  I'll do it ASAP! hope you guys like this. 🤍😘 comments will ALWAYS be incredibly appreciated.

Chapter 4

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

From lashes to ashes and from lust to dust

In your sweetest torment I am lost

And we sense the danger but don't want to give up

It's heartache every moment, from the start 'til the end

It's heartache every moment with you

Heartache Every Moment (HIM)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You stared at Neteyam, at his big face, covered with stripes and fascinating bioluminescent freckles, leaving unique patterns all over his blue skin.

Even though he was kneeling down, doing everything he could to seem smaller and not so scary, to make you feel less intimidated by his size, his face was still way above your eyes, you still felt your neck hurt a little when you had to look up - straining your muscles, already sore from working too much - to gaze at his eyes.

"Oh, paskalin" (honey) "I could make you feel so good, you don't even know..." he was now even closer to you - you didn't even think it was possible but there he was, his massive frame making you feel smaller than ever. Fear of him snapping at you, in case you did something that didn't please, and hurting you was taking over your mind. You didn't know that Omatikaya boy, how could you trust him? "Give me a chance, be my mate and lemme show you how much pleasure I can give you, how I can make you feel safe and fulfilled in my arms after we make love. Like no fucking human male could ever do. Not like I would." Neteyam's fangs got prominent at that moment, and you could tell he was restraining himself from hissing at the thought of a human man having you in his arms. God, that had a name...

"Obsession." you thought

Despite those horrible feelings you were experiencing, his foreign accent still sounded weird but strangely fascinating to your ears, simultaneously. You hated yourself for feeling drawn to Neteyam, even though he was clearly stepping over your limits. You didn't know if maybe it was a na'vi courtship behavior for the male to get this close to the female, even if she hadn't shown any signs of wanting him to. But Neteyam wasn't exactly courting you, you thought. It was more like... straight up harassment, at least in human culture.

Your breath became heavier inside your oxygen mask when you thought about him using his fangs to draw blood from your skin in case you were able to be fast enough to go past where he was kneeling down next to you, and, tried to run away. With his incredibly slender, toned legs he could easily catch up with you in a millisecond and grab you, being free to do whatever he wanted to your small, defenseless human body. That thought made you feel like someone was knotting your intestines tight.

"Eywa... You're just so fucking pretty, even in this demon form, that I... I wanna do to you, right now, all I've been dreaming about, since I first saw you and you made my blood run hotter through my veins, such a fire you ignited inside me, syulang..." (flower)

Neteyam's breath was so heavy once out of his nostrils, clouding your mask, like he's controlling his urges, trying to hold back from touching you. You felt your knees weaken, fear and tension being the reasons why.

"Y-you don't want me, Neteyam. Not really. You just think you do. You're only intrigued by me because I look different from the girls you're used to. The na'vi girls." You didn't know how but you dug deep inside your chest and found the courage there to say that, looking into the alien's eyes.

Neteyam chuckled faintly, air coming out of his nose, in disbelief

"How can you say such thing, hì’i?"

"Hì..hì?" You tried to pronounce what you had just heard, in vain. You had no idea what that na'vi word meant. It's not like you knew that much of the na'vi language, anyway. You only knew the basic stuff that you had to study and learn to be able pass one of the tests that would determine if you were ready to get an Avatar body from the lab

"Hì'i." He corrected you, smiling wide and laughing quite a bit. "You're so silly and cute. Hì'i means "small in size" in my people's language. You are small, in this current physical form. But, let's talk about what's most important: what makes you think I don't really want you?"

"Because I am a demon to you, as you said. I am a human girl, not a na'vi girl." you said, rage slipping through your eyes. Why the hell was that crazy na'vi guy calling you a "demon", saying that he wants you sexually and calling you pet names, all at once?

"But you have an Avatar body. Nothing is preventing you from having your consciousness transferred for good to that body. If my father did it, so can you." The alien said, full of confidence. You wondered if he was going insane.

"And what makes you think I wanna do it?"

“My tawtute," (human) "I can smell you. I know you want me too. You're wet for me. Don't forget my senses are way sharper than what you're used to" Neteyam smiles calmly while enjoying the way your scent hit his nostrils. You felt your face flood with color, so much blood going directly to that part of your body as you felt incredibly embarassed when you heard those words. You had just realized your panties were soaked. "And, I'm sorry, but I have to tell you… Your juices smell so fucking delicious. You're driving me insane right now, yawne. I think that, at the end of the day, becoming my mate and making tsaheylu with me wouldn't be such a horrible experience for you."

Your thoughts cursed at you like crazy: "Damn it!! I must be kidding my own self!! Having a slight crush on him is one thing, getting fucking wet for him is something totally different! Do I have a fear kink, a rape kink or am I just into freaking exophilia?! For real, girl... There's gotta be something extremely wrong with you for you to be this turned on by the thought of this alien guy taking you by force."

"You're crazy! I'm not gonna be your mate! Just fucking let me go!" You wondered if you had just lost your mind to say and do that to Neteyam, being currently in your human body (if you were Dreamwalking it would obviously be safer) but you couldn't take all that was happening at that moment anymore. Your heart was beating too fast, like you were about to have a cardiac arrest. It was too much. You were overwhelmed.

You caught Neteyam off guard, the words you shouted stinged him so hard it left his very heart wounded, the muscles throbbing in pain. You noticed he seemed hurt, the sides of his mouth curled down faintly and his cat like ears were pointing towards the ground.

You felt bad for hurting his feelings. Even though he was disrespecting you, there was still enough empathy inside you to make you feel bad for making him suffer. You did not enjoy hurting people.

You inhaled and exhaled, trying to calm your nerves and, finally, you said:

"Look, I don't mean to be rude, even though you honestly deserve it. There's no excuse for what you're doing. You can't force me to be your mate. I'm not even na'vi! And don't start with that "You have an Avatar body" thing, please!" You breathe in deeply and let the air out slowly "I'm not your dad and I don't intend to follow his steps. I know very well I could die if I tried to go past Eywa's eye. Even if I wanted to get my consciousness transferred forever to my Avatar form, it's too damn risky. Plus, what makes you think I'd ever do it for you? I barely know you." You sighed, exhausted from it all. "Let me go back to my room. Please…?"

Neteyam looked tired and he was starting to feel defeated, like a soldier fighting in the front lines of a war who was losing his stamina after shooting way too many enemies in a very short period of time.

"I just wish you could…" it's like the words felt too rough against his throat, like it was too hard to talk at that moment "... could see that I won't hurt you." He sighed again "I know it feels weird and I'm big and scary, like you say…" His heart hurt at the reminder of your tough words "But I promise you - and I take promises very seriously. My parents taught me to do so, ever since I was old enough to understand their words - I would never lay a finger you." The expression on his face looked utterly serious, like he truly meant it. "Ever."

"You're hurting me with your actions, your words... the way you talk about me, about my body. I don't know about your culture, but it's pretty disrespectful in mine. I feel violated. I do think most of what the human race considers right or wrong is just bullshit, dumb society rules made up by even dumber people. But I have to agree with them on this one." You said

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, hì’i tawtute." (small human) Neteyam looked down at the floor and there was shame all over his face

"Opening my window for you was a mistake."

Neteyam looked at you with eyes filled with sadness

He got back on his feet and stepped away from you, staying now arguably a good amount of steps away from where you were standing.

"Please, don't say that…" Neteyam pleaded with tears in his eyes

"I'm sorry. I have to go."

༊⁀➷

Once you got back to your room, took your oxygen mask out of your face on autopilot and closed the window, you stared for a while at Neteyam's oddly tall figure, still standing in front of your room.

You looked at him and your heart broke. He looked so hurt. His big yellow irises shone insanely in the dark of the eclipse. But his eyes were tainted with tears. His dark braids fell onto his shoulders perfectly. He was incredibly beautiful. But why could you only let your guard down when he was away from you? When you were behind a glass and he was standing on the other side? It broke your heart to do that. But you also knew he was being too much. Too eager. Stepping over your limits and making you uncomfortable. But what if that was just his na'vi nature? You had heard before that the na'vi were humanoid but still animalistic. Maybe it was just… his primal instincts to find a mate. You wondered if maybe you were being too harsh on him. But you still felt like you could not and should not trust him. Even though you wanted to. 

You watched him walk away, his shoulders pointing downwards, his posture showing he knew he had lost that battle.

You wondered if he would come back or if he would give up on you. You felt so idiotic. Why did you want him to come back? He was not treating you the way he should be, with respect for your boundaries.

You felt so confused. There was a lump in your throat. You felt like you were about to cry too.

Your hands were cold and you were feeling anxious and your chest was filled with angst. You wanted to scream Neteyam's name and ask him to come back.  But you did not. You knew you shouldn't. It could awake someone. It could be dangerous. You should not trust Neteyam, you kept repeating in your mind.

Your feet started to move, almost as if they did it on their own, because it felt like your mind was somewhere else, like your brain was occupied with something else other than sending a message to your feet and tell them to take you back to your bed. You were lost in your thoughts. Dazed as hell. 

Once you laid on your bed and covered your body with the warm sheets, you felt a sinking feeling of sadness and guilt bruising your chest. Hot, painful tears streamed down your face and the lump in your throat intensified. Why were you crying? And why were you thinking about Neteyam Suli while you cried?

You wondered if he could imagine that you were now crying, just like he was when he left.

༊⁀➷

Taglist:

@kitsunefirewail @tumblingdevils @a-blog-name-2003 @xylobee @nerdybouquetofkittens-blog @henhouse-horrors @lala-1516 @xylianasblog @samistars @crazy4books1 @explosiongamora @lik0 @your-girl-mj @darktyrantwinner @sereisstuff @yeosxxx @die4niyahhh @iman-lu @manumanulau @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @hana-yuri @thehoneymushroomhealer @melllinaa @annaibansworld @siriuslysmoking @avatar4eva @ellabellabus07 @badbishsblog @neteyamsmate4life

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere Radioactive Apocalypse

The constant upset and warring provinces have prepared the world for the worst. Before the blowout, many thought it wise to pay for a bunker for the oncoming atomic apocalypse. Most of the population couldn’t afford to do so, let alone believe that it would be needed. 

They’d be wrong.

Whether you are one of the unsuspecting public or a passive believer, average day life doesn’t have you safely tucked in a bunker when the initial alarms go off. You are smooshed against others in a large crowd all watching and listening in awe. But the moment one person screams it's all over. The crowd twists and turns pulling you in no specific direction. As the final alarms ring out an arm pulls you through the chaotic crowd and into a bunker full of others reeling at the recent events. So here you find that you are trapped safely in the stifling and well-furnished  Atomic Bunker. 

“Who pulled me in here?”

“Does it matter! You survived the initial blast, didn’t you? Ungrateful twat.”

“No need to be hostile, little brother. It's natural to be vexed after watching the world end. Right in front of you.”

“Oh, all those poor souls!”

“My lady, your handkerchief.”

“My baby! My baby! I didn’t grab them! Oh, my poor baby!”

“There there, we’re all very shaken up—”

“B-b-b-but y-y-y-your still smiling—.”

“We are all dealing with the pain in different ways. But let's all take a breather and relax.”

“You don’t sound all that upset to me either.”

“I can say the same thing to you, but I guess you’re just happy to be off the streets, right?’

“Oi!”

Hearing the cacophony of such a colorful cast distracts from the initial fear. Their voices remind you that you're not suffering like the rest of those unfortunate people. They allow you to cry with an audience of fellow mourners and those who can keep calm easily. Before you can let the silence set in, they pull you back with their bickering. It's always either one or two of them that is always voicing their concerns. There’s always a voice of reason, something you’re grateful for as you desperately search for a distraction. 

“Everyone! I believe introductions are in order! I am the middle child of the Penz household as well as the main manager of the bunker.”

With a blonde head of hair and a funky sense of style, his smile persists. Uvil Penz is an interesting guy as you’ll come to find. Aside from smiling during the ongoing onslaught of atomic warfare he always has a way of looking on the bright side for better or worse. 

“Oh, my baby!” 

“Now please miss dry your tears, there are plenty of toys down here to distract yourself with.”

His optimism is surely unique as you can’t quite place where it may stem from. On one hand, you could see it as an unemotional response with an attempt to soothe. But you’ll see him laugh genuinely or offer insight into a person’s emotions. On the other hand, it may come from a sly condescending perspective. It fits right along with his brothers’ behavior. But the way he works to compliment you often, attempting to keep your spirits high, or how he’ll make a request for your favorite foods to be scavenged makes you think otherwise. 

“(Y/n)?”

“Huh? Uh yeah?”

“Did ya know: you’re gorgeous even with those tear streaks on your face.”

“What?”

“I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while now, but I think you really needed to hear that now.”

Or maybe that’s just you because you have a hard time believing Uvil trying to be soothing when he’s smiling widely after making someone cry. But it's hard to be decisive about liking or disliking the blonde as he could very well be the one who grabbed your wrist and pulled you in. On top of that, he allows everyone to stay even as opportunity knocks on the bunker door. As long as you don’t mind his ever-present smile and disconnected sympathy life will be great.

“I, Uvil Penz welcome you to the Penz bunker. Now little brother, go on. Introduce yourself.”

“Eugh! Get off me! Ugh, my name’s William and I know this bunker better than anyone else. So better learn to respect me!” 

He’s certainly not like his brother. At least not on the surface. With black short hair and a disgusted sneer constantly on his face. He doesn’t bother comforting anyone at least not in the typical way. Any advice or comfort is said through gritted teeth or with an annoyed click of his tongue.

“Look, if yer gonna keep crying do it in one of the soundproof rooms. You're bothering those of us who want to think!”

Not to mention he’s the first to point out your insecurities or make fun of you for grieving at all. Don’t worry you’re not the only one, he goes just as hard if not harder on everyone else. Making sure everyone is well aware that the whole group knows of their problems. Usually snickering or outright laughing at whoever he’s decided to victimize. At one point, everyone will be annoyed with him. As much as he loves to boast about it he is the only one who knows how to maintain the bunker. 

“Gosh, you are such a pain in the–”

“Don’t forget who knows how to start up the generator…so unless you want to enjoy life without lights, you’ll put your fists down.”

“Ugh! Fine.”

“Thank you…meathead.”

“YOU LITTLE-”

Despite his arrogance, his snarky jabs, and the weirdly endearing way he seeks you out the atomic apocalypse wouldn’t be the same without him. For as annoying and degrading as he may be, he’s still willing to share his switch with you when you’re feeling particularly bored. Making sure you can’t see his face when he pokes the controller against your cheek. 

“Come on. You’re bored aren’t you?”

“You…want me to play with you?”

“Well duh! So…are you?”

“I-I’d love to!”

Not to mention he knows the cheat codes to all the games in the arcade room. And if you do him small favors he’ll share his limited edition ramen with you. Now he may ask for your undergarments or your toothbrush but that’s nothing in the endless days spent in the bunker. After all, it's better than the atomic aftermath out there and according to the only Penz willing to go out there, you wouldn’t last a day.

“Well, my introduction’s done. Marc!”

“Yeah yeah, ‘sup everyone. I’m Marco.”

The eldest of the Penz brothers is concerningly nonchalant from the very beginning of your stay in the bunker. With his girlfriend on his arm and an easy-going attitude, he doesn’t really bother to comfort anyone other than her. Except maybe you. 

“Hey didn’t take you for a late-night snacker. You okay?”

“I’m—fine, excuse me.”

“Whoa whoa, lil’ bunny. Don’t run away just yet, the wolf has questions.”

“Please just–I’ll go back to the room.”

“Nah-ah sit bunny.”

“But you took the only chair.”

“Right here, bunny. We’ve got all night.”

Supposedly, he was quite the womanizer before he got with his current girlfriend. Will makes a point to mention it anytime anyone you is found flustered or flattered by his attention. Even so, he doesn’t let that stop him from caging you against the bunker walls to ask for something. Or teasing you when he retrieves something from outside the bunker. 

“Come on just grab it.”

“Why are you holding it there? Just hand it to me normally!”

“So rude. I don’t feel like complying with a fussy bunny who doesn’t use their words.”

“Ugh! Fine. Please just hand it to me normally.”

“Ha no.”

“WHY NOT?!”

“It’s perfectly fine just grab it, babe. I don’t mind if you touch me along the way.”

For all his teasing and carefree behavior, he’s a good scavenger. Able and willing to brave the atomic wasteland when the bunker needs supplies. He’s strong and prepared to take on any unruly travelers who come by or intervene during scavenger hunts. 

He’s not all that opinionated when it comes to debates in the bunker. More excited to grab a snack and watch the chaos unfold. Smiling lightly as things get heated and tensions rise. In that way, he’s like an idle NPC but the second his boundaries are crossed then you have to deal with the rare and angry Will. 

“C-calm down Will…y-your not going to k-kill him right?”

“He’s the one who thought inviting our bunker-mates to play in that wasteland was a good idea.”

“Honey, it’s okay! (Y/n) didn’t actually go, right? So it’s okay, right Fin?”

“Yes, my lady is correct.”

It’s just better for everyone that no one gets on his bad side. And that everyone doesn’t mess with the things that make him happy: His peace, his girlfriend's peace, and your peace the happiness of specific bunker mates.

“Oh yeah, this my girl.”

“Um hello everyone. My name is Aria, Aria Mensloth. Marco was the one who brought me here.”

“Lucky you, I bet he’s the only one willing.”

“...Oh uhm yes I am quite grateful. I hope we can all get along.”

Aria is the sheltered blue-haired girlfriend of the eldest Penz brother. Opposites attract because, despite his immense uncaring personality, she’s generally more caring. Trying to check up on everyone she can even if her privileged life brings more misunderstandings than intended. 

“You seem upset, is it perhaps because you skipped breakfast this morning?”

“Uh no.”

“Oh well, for me this is a bigger change from the usual three-course breakfast I’m used to.”

“Okay…”

“Do you not know what that is like?”

She has the best intentions but she’s still learning. Too bad for her the ones in this bunker she is familiar with don’t bother correcting her or informing her unless directly asked. Her boyfriend would sooner chuckle and play with her hair than fill in the blanks. Her butler refuses to say much else than what is needed. So guess who she decides to attach herself to? You, of course. You're the most normal lovely bunker mate around and you don’t immediately insult her when she seeks to shadow you as you navigate your life in the bunker. 

“Ah, so you pick your own clothes out. How fascinating!” 

“Uhm Aria don’t you do the same?”

“Oh no, my butler picks everything out for me. It’s always been that way.”

“Oh…Would you want to try picking out your own clothes, sometime?”

“For myself? Oh no, I’m far too inexperienced….but maybe I could help pick out your outfits!”

“Wait–”

“Does that sound like a good idea, Butler Fin? Can we do it?”

“I see no problem with that my lady.”

“Oh good!”

As Will’s girlfriend, she’s an important person to keep happy. Wouldn’t want to deny her, especially when her beloved boyfriend is working so hard for the rest of the bunker. Not to mention her butler with an ominous gaze who is more than willing to exact her every wish. No matter how invasive it is to your privacy. You’ll have to be careful with your words. Wouldn’t want to make her cry...right?

“Aria, don’t.”

“Ari! Call me Ari!” 

“Ari sorry okay! I just don’t want to bathe with you, so please get off.”

“Y-you’re not trying to leave me, are you?! Didn’t Uvil tell us not to waste any supplies!? So please let me join!”

For as pushy as Aria can be, calling her out on her behavior or offering to tattle on her to her boyfriend usually gets her off your back. But where she lacks persistence, her butler makes up for it. 

“Hello everyone, I am the Mensloth Butler Finster. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

Finster or Fin, is like any depiction of a dutiful butler come to life. Even with the threat of the atomic apocalypse, he’s still maintaining his mistress throughout. He doesn’t talk much outside of responding to Aria and occasionally the Penz brothers. 

“...”

“Look butler-man, if you’re goin’ to make breakfast why not feed us all?”

“...”

“Butler Fin.”

“Yes, my lady?”

“Can you make breakfast for Will, (Y/n), and me?”

“Yes, of course, my lady.”

“Wow….really?!”

You’ll find when he’s alone he can speak without addressing his mistress only when he wants to. But he seems to enjoy your company, especially during the night cycle when Aria is fast asleep. He smiles openly with you, cracking jokes about the day he appeared numb to before. 

“Well, it seems as though you were right about them. Fighting with each other like chickens in a coop.”

“Right? I thought I’d be the only one who noticed.”

“Please your observations are hardly wrong, it helps that we can talk like this with each other. Helps us remember how to communicate. I really appreciate that you’re willing to.”

“Oh uh, no problem I like talking to you too..”

“No, thank you (Y/n). I doubt I could hold any level of sanity if it weren’t for you.”

When push comes to shove, he is capable of holding his own in a debate. His actions can be interpreted as that of a selfless and devoted butler. But it can also be read as that of someone with their own agenda—something practically impossible to decipher by his behavior alone.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for (Y/n) to leave the bunker, either.”

“Y-your actually s-s-speaking? On your own?”

“Well, I bet it’s only because he wants his master lady to not cry like a baby!”

“Was that your intention, Finnster?”

“...My lady, is my top priority at all times.”

It’s a nice illusion though, that he’d be a somewhat normal character, considering he’s often the only one whom you can hold a normal conversation with, without walking away thinking he’s obsessed with you. But his actions do. Oftentimes, watching his behavior without his explanation would make anyone worry.

“Excuse me?”

“I just wanted to ask about you pushing Aria that one time. Why would you do that?”

“Push? Push?! Oh no you’ve got it all wrong, I was attempting to support her back as we looked at the sewer. She did lose her footing but as you saw Marco and I caught her all the same.”

“Oh okay sorry, for misjudging.”

“It’s fine, though I’d be quick to forgive if you joined in some baking with me.”

Always good at conversation, and always willing to help, Butler Finn is a friend to confide in. Someone to talk to about the odd behaviors and conversations you've had with others. One of the other ones you can talk to about this would be your resident walking encyclopedia. 

“H-h-h-hi e-e-everyone I’m S-S-Simpson G-G-g-gron, Will b-b-brought me here.”

He’s like a stereotype incarnated, listing off all sorts of facts you would have never found yourself dedicated to remembering. With a stutter at the beginning of every sentence, Simpson refuses any sort of leadership, very similar to Will’s approach. Rather than having a bonafide position to argue when debates happen he prefers to chime in with what he knows for sure. 

“Look, the sooner we head out. The sooner we can all actually eat something real.”

“But you realize what the risk of leaving may mean, right?”

“The world burned away! Yeah, I got it.”

“A-a-a-actucally I think Uvil sir is r-r-referring to radiation posioning.”

“What?!” 

“The atomic b-b-b-bomb is not only the bringer of destruction, b-b-b-but a disease bringer.”

When he’s not bringing up important information he’s hanging around Will, stuttering a lot less and talking technically with one another. While Will is prickly, he’s able to properly articulate what he knows while also hurting your feelings. Simpson on the other hand…just can’t. It’s something you’ll try working with him on but once he gets going he just can’t stop.

“Okay let’s try this—why should I consider learning code?”

“Well…i-i-it’ll help y-y-y-you understand the programs you use the m-m-m–m-m-most?”

“Good. Now how so?”

“Well..learningtheintricaciesofcodingwillnotonlyallowyoutomanipulateyourownprograms–”

“Okay—now hold on–”

“Butintheendlearningthecodecsnotonlyallowanyonetoknowthesourcesofthewebsitesthatfunctionwithai–”

“Hey-wait!”

“IsitnotwisetolearnwhattheoneswhowillsurvivethistragedyworkthroughyoureyeslookasenchantingaseverAnywaythereallanguagetheyworkwithnowisbinarycodebutthatshouldn’tbe.”

“And there he goes.”

The real advantage of this though is his ability to return the favor of listening to his rambles. He happily listens to yours and comes with questions you’d only find yourself answering in an imaginary interview. But the adoring indigo-green gaze behind those iconic square glasses makes it impossible not to appreciate him. Not to mention, he and Will are the only two who religiously compete with you in the arcade room.

“Ack–that move is illegal!”

“Actually it's quite the opposite, really. This is the rule within the actual manual of the game’s lore–”

“Yeah, (Y/n) don’t be a crybaby you didn’t do your studying.”

“But you hid all the gaming manuals from me!” 

“Well, you are the one who bet something unspecified of yours. It would be unwise not to sabotage you.”

“Ack-! To be admitting it so openly!”

“No use lying about our tactics now that we are guaranteed a win.”

As the most obvious voice of reason, it isn’t a bad idea to be in his good graces. It also makes it harder to believe your own observations when you listen to his. Able to look at the bigger picture while you only have your snapshot or so he says. 

“But doesn’t this kind of product, have dire consequences for eating past the expiration date? And wasn’t there some craze about the aphrodisiac effects it has?”

“That’s a widely spread misconception, the craze was actually about the dopamine rush from the expired product.”

“Really? I’m pretty sure I remember the fanfics celebrating the stuff.”

“You are mistaken!”

“Uh okay.”

So if there’s anyone to rely on it’d be him. He may not be able to care for you as well as some of the others in the bunker. Or be as concerned as others but he’s trying his best. Of course, others may not even heed any of his efforts. Then again some of them hold themselves very highly. 

“Oh, my baby!”

“Miss are you okay to talk or–”

“My name’s Henrietta Spitz! What’s your name?”

“Uhm (Y/n).”

“(Y/n)! Oh (Y/n) I’m so sad!” 

Henrietta is probably one of the oddest characters in the bunker. Known as the distraught young mother who was dragged in by one of the…good samaritans within the bunker. If you aren’t swallowed by grief you’ll be swallowed by hers because she doesn’t let anyone forget what she’s gone through. 

“Wahhh~(Y/n) can I sleep with you?!”

“Uhm why would you need to?”

“I used to sleep with my baby at night. It’d just help me loads if your warm soft body next to mine.”

“Just like your…baby?”

“Yes, just like them~!”

But when she’s not wailing into your chest about her lost child, she’ll start up with a new…grieving routine. One that revolves around you drinking her milk…right from the tap that is. You want to argue with her–put a stop to this weird practice that she seems deadset that you be the only participant. But she cries aaalllll the time. If she isn’t set on fussing over you or forcing you to ‘help’ her grieving she whines and screams bothering everyone in the bunker. So you’ll take one for the team…right?

“I-I have milk for everyone!”

“ We have rations Miss so it's not an issue.”

“B-b-but we might run out! It’ll stop coming if it’s not drunken up!”

“Then perhaps the breast pump you had in your bag would be helpful.”

“B–b-but to keep this up I need to have a hungry mouth on there. It just won’t be the same.”

On top of that, her fleeting sadness for her child seems to conveniently leave her countenance the second it’s too inconvenient. It’s not all that obvious at first, easily being written off as her healing grief. But when she uses it for her own agenda so obviously it’s a little hard to take her seriously.

“STOP CLINGING TO (Y/N)!”

“Nooo! I want them to spend time with me!”

“It isn’t healthy to keep them locked up in your room like this. And (Y/n) you want to leave, don’t you? Finally, get to stretch your legs?”

“Yeah, I–”

“You can’t!”

“Why not?”

“I-I-I-My baby!?”

“What?”

“If you leave, the thoughts of my baby will come back and I just can’t bear it. (Y/n) please!”

Some will argue that what she’s doing is projecting her idea of her baby onto you. That she’s stuck in a psychosis that revolves around the one who she feels is meek enough to baby. But a grieving mother who would be projecting wouldn't do what she does. Everyone grieves differently but it’s the nature of her advancements that might lead anyone to suspect she’s not as motherly as she seems.

“Oh~(Y/n)~!”

“Yes?”

“Did you know something else my baby did?”

“Uhm what?”

“They’d let me wash them all over. And give kisses to me–”

“Okay.”

“On the mouth with an open mouth!”

“Okay? And?!”

It raises some concerning questions and speculations about her story. And how she was able to make it inside the bunker when everyone separately admits they did no such thing as lead her in. Or how she often mixes up the name of the child she seems so stuck on grieving. 

At the end of the day, she’s friendly to you…and maybe only you. She’s quick with her own insults the second anyone goes to question her or make their suspicions known. That and she seems to wryly refer to some hidden piece of information that keeps everyone from encroaching on her behavior. 

With all that being said. She’s definitely not one to forget for her attention to you, barely rivaled by the self-appointed scavenger and protector of you+ the bunker.

“I’m Grant and that’s all you need to know for now. I’ve got questions.”

“Ask a way, Grant.”

“Why do you even have this big of a bunker?”

“Is it so bad that we thought of comfort before the world’s end?”

“...I don’t buy it.”

If there was someone you’d expect to be the main character of some dystopian novel it’d be him. Cynical, confident, and muscled like no other, he becomes the bunker’s prime protector. Despite openly not trusting the Penz brothers he is the first to demand they do something when problems arise. While he’ll sooner croak than admit he relies on them, he does often light the fire for action from the prickly trio. 

“So what are you going to do about this?”

“Hm? Are you acknowledging me as the leader now?”

“No, but if everyone else has already I’d rather not rock the boat.”

“How benevolent of you!”

“Grrr.”

Hotheaded but not impulsive Grant becomes a significant facet of the group. Especially since the bunker needs more supplies. Brave and bold enough he’s willing to dawn the Hazmat suit and venture into the rumored wasteland that remains. It helps that he goes out of his way to help you settle and find your stance as the world goes through change.

“Hey. Here's some of the stuff I brought back. From the address you gave me.”

“Grant! This is-! I’m so surprised it even survived!”

“There wasn’t too much left but it was small enough and I thought it would survive the cleaning process.”

“Grant, really thank you!”

“...I-it’s no problem, you’re just lucky the blast didn’t damage it all too much.”

You’ll find he’s a compassionate guy at heart hardened by some terrible past he occasionally alludes to. But that harsh exterior tends to make up most of his image. Which can often lead to the group having…misconceptions about his personality.

“For a stupid delinquent that guy’s awful complex.”

“Speak for yourself! He keeps trying to tell me what to do!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah! He said the time I spend hanging out with (Y/n) is unhealthy! What a nosy brat, criticizing my grieving process.”

“...Whatever."

The animosity for certain members of the bunker would become all too clear for you as the days pass. Such behavior is natural for those trapped in the same tight quarters. The same tight quarters that you can’t seem to leave; forced to watch these characters destroy themselves as they fight over something you.+ 

“Oh, guess it's my turn my name’s–”

“We’re happy you're here (Y/n).”

“Yes, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you!” 

“Nice to make your acquaintance.”

“We are all happy to meet you, (Y/n)!”

“Pft, suck-ups. Welcome, I guess.”

“I-I-I-I-I hope w-w-we can be close.”

“Oh (Y/n), you remind me so much of my lost little love! C’mere!”

“Hey Guys! Give them space!” 

The coming months will certainly be almost as chaotic as the world’s declining state. With your new family den of lions, surely there’s a sliver of a chance that you’ll thrive in the radioactive apocalypse. 

It’s best you start documenting your adventure now….

[lonepantheress]

i really love you

☆ pairing: kim gyuvin x reader

☆ genre: angst mostly! rlly not as romantic as i hoped

☆ warnings: yunjin le sserafim cameo

☆ wc: 3.3k

☆ a/n: i feel like i owe 1000 apologies and then some. this is the first thing that i've written in awhile. i know i've been MIA but life has really been chaotic. still i wrote this a few weeks ago and decided just to post since i haven't. i miss this blog and the lovely messages i'd receive. i hope you all enjoy &lt;3.

You were often told that people envied your friendship with Gyuvin. You hadn’t known each other your whole lives, but it definitely felt like it. In fact, you considered yourself lucky to have a connection that goes so far beyond the surface level.

The depth of your bond presented itself in a way you considered unique. It was incredible to have someone who knew everything about you – who wanted to know everything about you. He was your shoulder to cry on and the most reliable person that you knew. You often found yourself with the fleeting thought of What if we were more than just best friends? But you brushed it off before you even gave yourself the chance to entertain it.

Still, it was no question to the people around you that you and Gyuvin were something more than best friends – even without that “Boyfriend-Girlfriend” label.

Which is how you found yourself in this position: You and Yunjin found yourselves in the same boat of “I-haven’t-know-you-my-whole-life-but-I-definetly-feel-like-I-have,” meaning you frequently spent your time with one another, and on a weekly basis you slept over at her apartment and vice versa.

You’d watch movies and do skin care and braid hair, but above all you exchanged secrets. Over months and months of sleepovers you found out about Yunjin’s secret spelling mishap of 8th grade, and she found out about your high school boyfriend who liked to call you “Sugar Plum” unironically. No matter how serious or ridiculous the secret, they came out naturally in the dead of night during almost every sleepover the two of you would have.

“I think, maybe, deep down inside, I am possibly harboring some feelings for Gyuvin.” The confession came out with the same pit in your stomach you get when you’re throwing up. 

You sat across from Yunjin on her apartment bedroom floor with green face masks adorning both of your faces. You couldn’t believe the words that had just left your mouth, your heart raced while you waited for Yunjin to give you some sort of response. When your eyes darted up at her, she looked at you wide-eyed and jaw-dropped. 

The room seemed to hold its breath, almost as if it were waiting with you for Yunjin to say something. You were having one of those heart-to-hearts that you only have in the dead of night, admitting all kinds of secrets that you had to look deep inside to find. Still, upon hearing yours, she blinked a few times as if she was trying to process what she’d just heard.

“Wow,” she said softly, breaking the silence, “I mean, I already knew that! I just wasn’t expecting you to say it!”

You managed a weak smile in return, the corners of your lips shaking with nerves, “Yeah. Me neither.”

“Well? You haven’t said anything to him about it?”

“What? No! Oh god, no. That hurts my head just thinking about it, no. I can’t.”

“You can’t?” 

“I can’t.”

She didn’t understand you, but she understood the weight of your words and decided not to bother you about it anymore. Yunjin reached over and gently put her hand over yours, the warmth of her touch grounded you in that moment. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. You know I’m here if you need anything, right?”

The confession occupied the air between the two of you like a fragile secret. Now, the green face masks seemed oddly out of place. As if the intimate exchange had transcended the triviality of their original purpose. 

Yunjin’s initial shock gave way to a soft smile, her eyes holding a mixture of empathy and understanding. The kind of understanding that could only be offered by close friends – knowing they may not comprehend the depth of your emotions, they will be there for you nonetheless.

You sighed heavily and turned your gaze to the ceiling, letting all those emotions you shoved down take their place in your heart. “I don’t even know what I’m feeling half the time,” you admitted, voice carrying a mix of frustration and self deprecation.

Yunjin chuckled, her eyes crinkled in the corners and the dry mask of her face cracked in sync. “Babe, feelings are messy! I don’t think mine ever follow a logical path.”

“God, tell me about it. It’s just… Gyuvin, you know? We’re just too good as friends. What if I ruin it?”

Your hand received a reassuring squeeze from Yunjin before she withdrew her touch, a pensive expression on her face. She leaned back on her arms, considering your words carefully.

“I mean – I personally don’t get where you’re coming from,” she began, voice gentle, “But think about it this way Y/n: if your friendship is as good as you believe it is, then it’s strong enough to handle some turbulence. Emotions aren’t always predictable, and that’s okay! What if some weird unspoken tension affects your friendship more than your harboring some secret feelings?”

You sighed again, staring at the tiles at the ceiling as if they’d give you the answer after a while. “I know. You’re right. It’s just scary…I don’t even care if he feels the same way, what if things get weird between us?”

Yunjin leaned forward, resting her chin in her hands. “Babe, look, I can’t predict the future. I do know that honesty is the best policy, though. He deserves to know the truth, but you deserve to express your feelings even more! Whether he reciprocates or not, it’s not in your control. What you can control is how you handle this moving forward.”

“You’re right,” you admitted, letting your head down to face her. “I can’t even tell you how long I’ve been avoiding this for. It isn’t fair to either of us.”

Yunjin smiled widely at you, mask cracking more and more. “Exactly! And you know what they say about regrets, right?”

“What do they say?”

“Well.. I don’t really know. But they have to say something about it! Look, if he truly values your friendship then he’ll appreciate your honesty.”

You smiled back at Yunjin, your own mask cracking from the movement in your face. Yunjin stood up and held her hand out for you to grab.

You reached out and took her hand, letting her help you up from the ground. The air in the room felt a little lighter now, as if the weight of your confession had been shared and the burden lessened.

“Come on,” Yunjin said, “Let’s wash these off and then go to bed. We can talk about this in the morning or something. And if things don’t work, I will happily accept a confession from you on his behalf!”

Despite the impact that your much needed heart-to-heart with Yunjin had on you, you still found yourself unable to take any immediate action (or any action at all, for that matter.) In fact, it was more like the opposite. Your behavior took an unexpected turn – one that puzzled those around you. To you, though, it all made perfect sense. You had finally sat down and confronted those feelings that you had long harbored, and you need some time and space to really process it. Particularly, time and space away from Gyuvin. 

You shifted to practically being inseparable from one another to being distant and withdrawn. Those who’d grown accustomed to seeing you two together nearly every day were now met with your fleeting glances and casual avoidance. It was you who’d placed the invisible barrier between you and Gyuvin, leaving him equally confused by your sudden change in behavior.

Though, he didn’t know what exactly caused this sudden shift with you, he wasn’t blind to the cues you were throwing his way. He noticed immediately your short responses (if he had received one at all), and your excuses to avoid making any plans. He saw you take the long way from one place to another and he could only assume it was so you could avoid crossing paths with him. And while the biggest part of him wanted to know why, his brain told him to just let you deal with whatever it was you were dealing with. 

This went on for three weeks before someone decided to mention it. 

“What’s going on with Y/n?”

“What’s going on with Y/n?” Gyuvin scoffed at Matthew’s question and deadpanned, “If I knew that, she’d probably be here right now.”

Matthew raised an eyebrow, “Man, don’t get mad at me. I’m just so used to seeing you guys together all the time. It’s weird to everyone to see you guys apart like this.” Matthew leaned against the table at the campus café that they both sat.

Gyuvin let out a sigh and ran his hand through his hair, “You’re telling me? I’ve tried talking to her but she’s just… distant? I dunno. I can’t put a finger on why.”

“Did you guys have a fight?”

He shook his head, face full of frustration. “Is it bad if I say I wish we did? At least then I’d know what I did. She’s just been acting different. We used to spend hours talking about the dumbest shit and now it’s like pulling teeth to even get a few words out of her.”

Matthew took a sip from his coffee, gaze fixed on Gyuvin, “Maybe she’s going through something! Sometimes people start acting like that when they’re going through something personally. It could be something heavy, and she’s just not ready to talk about it yet.”

Gyuvin frowned at that idea, his mind was racing considering Matthew’s words. What could be so bad that you wouldn’t tell him? “You think so?”

Matthew nodded. 

“I mean.. I don’t know, man. We’re always there for each other. If that’s the case then I wish she’d just let me in.”

Matthew gave a wide, reassuring smile before replying, “Maybe she will, eventually. Just give her some time. Try not to let her push you away completely, keep reaching out. Even if it’s just a, ‘Hey. How’s your day?’ text or something.”

Gyuvin nodded, trying his best not to acknowledge the little pit in his stomach that was gnawing at him, “I’ll do that. But I get to blame you if your advice sucks.”

With the days passing, Gyuvin took Matthew’s advice to heart. He started sending you the occasional message asking about your day or giving you an anecdote out of his. He wasn’t expecting lengthy responses, but he wanted you to know that he was still there regardless of whatever it was you were dealing with.

You, on the other hand, were dealing with all kinds of complex sentiments about your situation. To no one’s surprise, honesty was a much easier concept to speak about than it was in practice. That confession to Yunjin that night had opened a floodgate of uncertainty and fear for you. Part of you had expected your feelings to be reciprocated or to at least be brushed aside as a passing thought, but the reality was much more complicated. You’d unintentionally thrown a wrench in your friendship with Gyuvin, and it was past the point of you knowing how you could fix it. 

You spent a lot of time thinking about it, your situation. You stared at your messages with Gyuvin and wondered if they’d be any different if you were honest. When you’d see him on campus laughing with his friends, your heart would ring itself out. Your close friends could notice the toll that it was taking on you, especially Yunjin. She was the only one who knew anything about what you were feeling, so she was the only one who could try to help.

She noticed how your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes anymore, or the heavy sighs that seemed to escape you involuntarily, or the way that you’d space out and think to yourself more often. 

One night, you were both sprawled across her living room couch with a movie playing in the background. The atmosphere was interrupted by the loud chime of your phone. It sat on the coffee table in the center and the screen was lit up with a text.

“Who’s that?”

You both knew who it was. “Oh, probably my mom or something. I’ll just reply later.” You could lie all you wanted, but you couldn’t pretend that your situation wasn’t getting to you. The message was short and sweet, but it made your stomach erupt with butterflies while simultaneously giving you the urge to throw up. Hi, I’m thinking of you. Just wanted to check in and ask you about your day.

“Y/n.” Yunjin spoke softly, but she sounded stern. She wanted you to take her seriously and to let your walls down again.

“Yunjin.” You responded, putting your phone back down and looking her in the eye.

“I can see how much this is bothering you. It’s eating you up inside, isn’t it?” She sat up and grabbed the remote from the coffee table, pausing the movie before facing you again. Neither of you need to clarify what “this,” was because the heavy toll it had taken on your heart was evident to anyone who knew about your feelings.

You couldn’t stop the tears before they began to fall. You could only nod in response, unable to put your feelings into words. 

“Babe, I think it’s time to face this head-on,” Yunjin suggested, maintaining a firm but gentle tone. “You can’t avoid him forever. It’s hurting the both of you.”

“But what if it makes things worse?” You whispered, voice trembling.

“I really, really, really don’t think you’d do that,” Yunjin sighed and faced you directly. “He asked me about you the other day.”

That only made you cry harder, feeling like your heart would just explode in your chest. “What’d he say?” You managed to ask through sobs.

“You know, he just wanted to see how you were. If everything was okay with you.”

“And what’d you tell him?”

“I told him that I couldn’t really say. That you’ll make the time soon to go talk to him.”

“Yunjin…” you trailed off and broke your eye contact with her, feeling embarrassed. “I don’t know if I can do that.”

“I’m not saying it’s gonna be easy,” she began, “But, this distance? This awkwardness? It’s not doing you any favors. At least if you talk to him you’ll know where you stand.”

All you could do was nod before Yunjin brought you into a deep embrace, comforting you while you cried on her shoulder.

Over the next few days, you continued to wrestle with the decision of finally facing Gyuvin. The inner turmoil was beginning to reach its peak, you knew that you couldn’t keep pretending like he didn’t exist. Yunjin’s words echoed in your mind as a constant reminder to confront your feelings and put an end to the growing distance between you and Gyuvin. 

One evening, as the sun began to set and cast a variety of golden hues over the city, you found yourself standing in front of Gyuvin’s favorite coffee shop. It was also your favorite, but you’d been avoiding it on the off chance that you’d see him there. Your heart raced as you took a deep breath, trying to summon the courage to go inside. The bell above the door tinkled as you entered, scanning the cozy interior until your gaze met Gyuvin.

He was sitting by the window, engrossed in whatever assignment he was working on, his brows furrowed in concentration. The sight of him sent a rush of emotions through you – familiarity, comfort, and a twinge of nervousness. You scolded yourself internally for being scared to talk to your best friend.

You approached his table, cringing at how loud your footsteps seemed to sound in the otherwise quiet café. He looked up, surprise registering on his face before morphing into a warm smile.

“Hi,” he greeted, closing the books that littered the table and setting them aside, “I wasn’t expecting to see you.”

“Hi,” you echoed, your voice a little shaky, “Is it okay if I sit with you?”

Gyuvin’s expression to a more confused one, but his smile never faltered. “Of course you can sit with me,” he gestured to the empty seat across from him, “I would actually really like it if you did.”

You settled into the seat, avoiding eye contact with him. The silence between the two of you hung for a moment before Gyuvin decided to speak up, “Is everything okay with you? I feel like I never hear from you lately.”

You took a deep breath, your heart still racing. “That’s actually why I came here. I was hoping you’d be here so that we could talk.”

His brows furrowed slightly and his expression dropped, concern evident in his eyes, “You can tell me anything. Please, talk to me.”

“I really love you Gyuvin.”

Gyuvin smiled earnestly at you, “I love you too. You know that you can tell me anything, right?”

You sighed and looked him in the eye before repeating yourself, “No, I mean, I love you.”

Gyuvin's eyes widened, and he seemed momentarily taken aback by your confession. He opened his mouth to say something but hesitated, as if choosing his words carefully. 

You cut him off before he could speak, “I just – I sort of realized it one night and I couldn’t figure out how to face you? I didn’t know how, so I just didn’t. And I know it was wrong and I know I should’ve just been honest with you and I just….” you trailed off and looked for some sign of understanding in his eyes.

There was a passing moment of silence where your eye contact was never broken, but you could feel your heart drumming against your chest while the lights in the café began turning on to account for the lack of the sun.

“I love you too.”

Your eyes widened and you waited to respond out of fear that the butterflies in your stomach would fly out if you opened your mouth. “You love me?”

“I really love you,” he mimicked your earlier statement.

You laughed a bit and let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, reaching a hand out to intertwine with Gyuvin’s. “I was so scared. That by telling you I’d ruin our friendship. That scared me more than anything.”

"Y/n, you have to understand that our friendship is incredibly precious to me, like a guiding light in my life. But you… you're more than that. And now, it's as if our bond is being woven even tighter, stronger, because we're entrusting each other with the most vulnerable parts of ourselves." Gyuvin's voice softened, his eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine. "It's a kind of feeling that I never want to lose."

You felt a sense of relief wash over you at his words, tears welling up in your eyes and rolling down your cheeks, “I should’ve talked to you sooner. I’m sorry, I really am.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” he said softly, wiping the tears from your cheeks with his free hand. “You’re here now. We’re here now and that’s what matters.”

You chuckled through your tears, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders. “Yunjin was right, you know. She told me I needed to face this head-on.”

“I never thought I’d say this about her, but you have a pretty smart friend,” Gyuvin teased, his smile widening.

You both laughed, the tension in the air dissipating. It felt like a heavy fog had been lifted for the both of you, leaving a clarity that neither of you had seen before. The café seemed to fade into the background as you focused on each other.

“So…” you began, “What do we do now?”

Gyuvin leaned in a little closer, his eyes locked onto yours. “I think you owe me, at the very least, a date for what I had to put up with this past month.”

You nodded, stifling your giggles from him before responding, “I think I can make that happen.”

[lagtrained]

hi everyone i am not refollowing the stp tag until i 100% the new achievements and stuff again BUT. i finished a whole playthrough at like 4 pm today. oh my god. OOOOOOOOGH i have thoughts. SPOILERS BELOW CUT

THE FUCKING. PRINCESS AND THE DRAGON CHAPTER. OH MY GOD. i havw so many thoughts and feeling and just. holy SHIT that fucking chapter. im pretty sure thats the first instance of actually seeing what tlq looks like not in complete darkness and MY GOD my jaw dropped the moment i saw that. my first thought was just "he is so big and also looks fluffy but in a scary way why is he Like That" in he best way possible and just. its so expressive even with like only three (or four?) different "expressions" (aka different eyes except for opprtunist bc hes just different like that or something i guess). and dont even get me STARTED on the segway into the chapter and the chaoticness and confusion of it, that was the first chapter three of my playthrough so it was a VERY strong start.

also. happily ever after. GOD. HAPPILY EVER AFTER. i wanted to cry the entire time because like. she was so. :(. i could FEEL the anxiety and panic and just. MAN. people pleasers rise up (starts sobbing) and and and. fucking. smitten. GOD. pristine cut is really just the "hey look its the voices in your head! here they are!" update in disguise /j but anyways. he very much added to the huge feeling of anxiety, and i forgot what i did but at first i didnt see any of the voices just talking about the Suspiciously Bird Shaped Shadow on the wall until like halfway through the chapter where paranoid was like "hey guys i found the missing voice why is he a shadow". and once again. the leadup to the chapter was. jarring. to say the least. at first i thought broken was there just because pf the change in tone but after still seeing "voice of the smitten" i was. very worried. and then i was even more worried in the next two minutes when this guy ripped his fucking chest open with his bare hands. like. my god dude. just say you love her smh /j but yea no that was fucking awesome

i have a lot of thoughts and i definitely need to reply the cage (mostly bc i was super lightheaded during my playthrough) but GOD i was. once again. very disgusted and horrified /pos 10/10 would be beheaded by a headless princess and also drive one of the voices in my head insane again

as for the chapter expansions i definitely need to explore them more (since i did one playthrough and then got sidetracked as soon as i unlocked the memories menu) but i did play one route of both apotheosis and fury and both of them are absolutely amazing (shoutout to voice of the stubborn for giving me another razor-esque montage very much enjoyed it), and i ended up only doing a little bit of the den but even so i still REALLY liked it (also because den was always one of the chapters i was super interested in)

and also figuring out how to get the new ending was very fun!!!!!!!! i saw the red text once because of my apotheosis route and i was like "what. what do you mean shifting mound. what do you mean by that." when she mentioned starting to understand, then spent like 10 minutes in both the normal cabin and stranger cabin looking for the ending, and then i was like "whar if i Killed Her"

overall. my god. im so happy. seritonin STIMULATED mental illness CURED (and then recaused by happily ever after)

[ryuzakistoe]

Rin Itoshi (x reader)

Rin Itoshi x reader, breakup au, fluff, fem!reader, angst

You and Rin broke up a couple of weeks ago and only recently has he realized he made a mistake. He can't seem to get you out of his head despite that it was his idea to break up with you. He really wants you back.

a/n: So like this is my first ff here on tumblr...pls tell me if its good enough😖 ANYWAYS IM SOOO OBSESSED WITH RIN ITOSHI and maybe sae...actually most of the bllk characters.

Empty.

That's all he felt.

He thought that maybe letting you go would be the best option. Apparently not.

You were the cause of his distraction during soccer. You were the reason he couldn't keep his focus on the game and almost lost in the finals.

Well, he at least thought.

After that game, he felt somewhat frustrated. He was frustrated at himself for losing focus but also felt somewhat frustrated towards you. You were the reason why he couldn't think clearly.

The way you beamed with joy when he scored goals. The way you shouted his name across the field. The way your eyes sparkled every time he received the ball...

It was all stuck in his head. He just couldn't shake away the image of you.

And yet, THAT was the problem.

You rushed toward him, cheering and shouting his name with a big smile on your face, which he always loved. He also loved it when you jumped on him and hugged him tightly.

But for some reason, all he felt during that moment was annoyance and slight anger.

He didn't hug you back and of course, you immediately thought something was wrong.

Taking your hands back slowly, you gazed at him. "Rin, are you alright?"

...

"Let's break up."

...

He will always remember the way your expression changed. The way your face turned white when he spoke. The way the admiration in your eyes vanished..

But how could he possibly also forget the icy gaze he fixed upon you? Those piercing teal eyes, lacking of any emotion, seemed to burn right through you in that moment.

He regretted that deeply.

He soon left without saying anything more, leaving you to process and replay his choice of words.

Hell, even the way he walked showed no remorse or emotions either.

…

Now, here he was a couple weeks later on the field, going against some lukewarm team. (see what I did there😏)

In the middle of the game, it seemed like he was instinctively trying to find you in the crowd. He kept looking towards the front row and then at the seat where you always used to sit. The same seat that was right next to Rin was now unoccupied.

That's when it hit him. From this point on, that seat would always be empty.

That same feeling he felt the day after the breakup, it all came back--hitting him twice as hard.

All that regret, sadness, loneliness--it all came tumbling down on him.

He knew that he missed you but he didn't think he did THIS much.

He remembers how your eyes looked that day. He remembers the tears welling up and the quiver in your lip. He remembers how your voice cracked when you said his name. Yes…he remembers it all.

Only now does he know that he really did fuck up.

During the match, he realized he wasn't performing at his best. Whenever his teammates passed the ball to him, it was either intercepted by the opposing team or slipped through his grasp.

This was the worst he played.

He clenched his teeth in frustration. Why couldn't he concentrate? Why couldn't he score? Why couldn't he make it across the field?

Oh right.

It was you again.

Ever since he left you, his playing somehow worsened. Well, he already knew it was bad with you around, but this time, it was even more chaotic.

Every minute, every second in his mind seemed to be filled with you.

He remembered how you used to run up to him after every game, laughing out his name as you got closer, your hair gently running alongside you, and your arms outstretching to embrace him in a tight hug. He missed all of it.

While he was busy trying to push aside his thoughts, surprisingly, his team managed to turn the game back around and claim victory, but that didn't calm him down.

The same thoughts that had been running through his mind during the game were still lingering in his head, refusing to settle or go away.

He missed you. He needed you. It was wrong of him to push you away.

It was as if he couldn't find rest unless he was back with you. Back in your arms, back in your embrace, back in your heart...

Arriving back home, he immediately whipped out his phone and scrolled down to your contact.

'Love❤️'

He gazed at the name of your contact. He couldn't muster the courage to delete the contact or change the name.

The grip on his phone tightened. He really really needed you back.

The pain in his chest and mind wouldn't disappear until he had you back. He was certain of that.

He wanted to make everything right again, he wanted to make it up to you.

But the question was, would you let him?

After a bit of contemplation with himself, he finally clicked on your contact.

'RING RING RING'

His heart pounded in his chest. He felt like his guts were going to rupture from nervousness. Had he ever felt this nervous and desperate before? Probably not.

As he started having second thoughts, the ringing finally stopped.

"Rin?"

Oh, how he missed that voice.

It seemed as if all his doubting and nervousness in his body had been healed by just hearing your voice.

That's how much he needed you back.

"Y/n. Can we talk?"

Now it was your turn to be nervous. 'Talk?' What was there to talk about? He made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with you. All the texts and calls you sent him after that day have either been ignored or declined. At one point, he even blocked you.

But you couldn't deny that hearing his voice again felt relaxing--calming even.

You craved day after day to hear his voice one more time, but of course, you knew that would be impossible.

Well, you thought it would be impossible, until now.

"Talk? Talk about what Rin?"

Shit. What was he supposed to say? Tell you that he was wrong and that he wants you back?

...Well...technically...yeah.

How? How was he going to say it properly though?

He had to think quick. He knew he had to at least say something regarding that line. This may be his ever only chance.

"Y/n...I want to talk about us. I'm sorry. I truly am. I never realized how much this would impact me...but if you can, can we meet up? I want to apologize properly. Not through some device." Rin breathed out.

Wow.

You never thought you would be hearing these words come out of his mouth after a break-up.

But now, the question was if you would accept his apology and agree to the meet-up.

You loved Rin. You always have as a matter of fact.

Even after the breakup, you couldn't stop loving him. It felt like your love for him only grew stronger. But now, it felt like the universe was finally listening to your heartache.

You felt your heart beating irregularly, but the thought of seeing him again made you happy despite feeling sad and upset before.

You already knew the answer to his question. You knew how desperate you wanted him back. You knew how much you loved him and still do.

Without wasting any more time, you replied.

"Sure Rin. I'll see what you have to say." You smiled, knowing Rin couldn't see that precious smile of yours that he adored.

That was all he needed to hear from you.

"Let's talk at the garden by (ST. NAME) St. at 6. Okay?"

"Okay."

...

Rin hung up after bidding goodbye. A small smile plastered on his face. He let out a sigh as he rested on his sofa.

He was happy. No. More than happy by your consideration.

The anticipation of seeing you again grew inside him, increasing steadily. He couldn't afford to mess up now. All he had to do was be honest, right?

Yeah. Honest.

A small frown replaced his soft smile as he had to tell you how he truly felt, how much he missed you, how wrong he was, and how he regretted the whole thing.

He had to tell you how sorry he really was.

But he knew he definitely wanted to tell you how much he needed you back in his life, to fill that empty seat.

__________________

He couldn't take his gaze off of you.

The way the afternoon sun coated and highlighted all your features, making it seem as if you were glowing. The way the wind brushed threw your hair, as if your beautiful locks were being combed in sections by the gentle breeze. And the way your eyes softly squinted as your face morphed into a delicate and soft smile.

It was as if he was falling in love all over again.

Except this time, it was the same girl he still loved.

He began walking towards you, taking appropriate strides.

Gosh.

He couldn't help but admire you. You looked even more beautiful up close.

He let out a breath, preparing his words.

“Y/n…” he mumbled

“Rin.” you muttered back, your smile never faltering.

Rin enjoyed hearing his name spoken by you. It was the only thing that could calm him down. The smooth, comforting sound of your voice saying his name...he needed to hear and keep that heavenly voice in his life forever.

Rin took a deep breath before finally speaking his heart's content.

"Y/n.. I want to apologize. I kept pushing you away because I couldn't stop thinking about you while I was playing soccer. But even when I wasn't on the field, you were still on my mind," Rin said.

"During that game...my mind was still drifting back to the thought of you. That's what made me distracted during the game.

I thought that maybe breaking up with you would settle my thoughts and help me focus more on soccer. But I was wrong. The fact that you were no longer by my side only made me more distracted than I already was." Rin explained before continuing.

"Every day, I would feel empty and lonely without you. At one point, I thought that those feelings would go away after some time. But I was wrong. They only grew day after day.

That's when I realized that breaking up with you was a mistake. I need you Y/n. I need you to be here with me. I need you to stay in my life. Without you, I only feel empty and hollow. I want you to come back to my games and continue cheering me on. I want to look forward to your hugs and embraces after the games.

Please Y/n...I miss you. Will you consider staying with me?"

Shocked. Amazed. Surprised.

You felt almost all of the above.

Those words...that tone...his movements...they seemed heartfelt.

You gazed up at him, eyes wide, mouth agape, body still. You absorbed all his words and felt as if some kind of shackle around your wounded heart had been mended.

It felt relieving to finally hear the truth.

Noticing your motionless state, Rin grew a little worried. Were you mad at him? Upset? Angry? He couldn't tell.

What if you're angry at him with the whole "pushing you away from him to focus on the whole soccer thing"?

After having some negative thoughts in his head, they all seemed to have been pushed aside at the sight of your smile.

"I missed you too Rin. I missed you so much that my heart would swell at the mere thought or sight of you. Morning and night I would go to bed, hugging myself, wondering what it would be like if we were still together and what I could've done differently.”

“Every day I have not been able to stop thinking about you. I even haven't been able to stop loving you as well." You softly chuckled.

Now he was the one who was shocked. He always had a thought lingering in the back of his mind, wondering if you had ever moved on from him or not. Now he knew the answer.

He quickly and gently pulled you into an embrace after hearing your words.

You still loved him.

And of course, he still loved you.

He felt so relieved and content after hearing your words.

His smile only grew wider as he felt you reciprocating his hug.

"I love you Y/n. I love you so much. I promise to not leave you over something stupid like that ever again." He spoke quietly into your ear.

Now, it was your turn to smile wider at his words.

You knew that he meant every word. You knew that he still loved you. You knew that he would keep his promise. You knew that he was being genuine.

"I love you too Rin." You spoke back.

_____________________

a/n: BRO I DID NOT LIKE THE ENDING OF THIS ITS SO ASS buttttt I was starting to feel lazy😣 BUT OMG IM SO EXCITED FOR S2!!!

P.S I might take a long while to post more stuff like this bc I'm just so busy with school and life

P.S.S HES SO HANDSOME AND BEAUTIFUL WHAT

[vsyrworld]

get to know my favorite driver's ship

this was made by me and for me and i wrote fanfic about them!!!

(fyi; i started watching f1 in 2015 so ofc you guys KNOW what my FIRST and ULTIMATE ship)

(older f1 ships: )

Brocedes :D (childhood friends, teammates, rivals, anything but a lover - crofty 2021)

OH COME ON. I will write an essay about their history. BUT ANYWAY, despite their toxic year in 2015/2016, I still adore how young nico and lewis friendship or whatever they had in Greece back then and I still keep this ship alive until the 2021 season. Their battle on the track was BEYOND TOXIC, yet their battle off the track (media drama) is HILLAARIOUS. How come Lewis accidentally spills out, the name that shouldn't be spoken for Half of DECADE. God both of them are dramas king. NICO PODCAST omg the talk with Alain prost and they compared his vs Senna battle with HIS AND Lewis's battle PLUS when Nico's storytelling his "friendship" history in ITALY at the SPONSOR EVENTS *CRIED* and lewis always mentioned how he loves ice cream and do cheating day in imola and monza BECAUSE IT WAS NICO WHO INTRODUCE THE FOOD THERE. ugh I hate and love them at the same time. (I do include some Seb/NICO too because I like see Lewis getting rilled up)

2. Kimi and Seb (I ADORE THIS A LOT)

my calm and serenity wise iconic ferrari couple. I feel like Kimi was the rock ice and water for Seb to prevent him from burnout because of ferrari. during 2017-2018, Seb pushed hard (same like Charles) and yet the car reliability fuck his championship standing. and kimi (--kimi was the last ferrari champion hiks) kimi just so attentive to seb and I genuinely like both of them being rebels to whole ferrari tradition (like they don't do rollercoaster thingy, they DON'T master Italian, they just become their self and being so comfortable in their own bubble, fuck world). I had noticed also Seb (and Gio) is the only teammate that can make Kimi laugh. I just super super adore them!

3. Maxiel (TRADITIONALSHIP! I REFUSE OTHER SHIP FOR MAX BESIDE DANIEL. I REFUSE!)

ugh should I explain them? THE CHAOTIC GAYEST ENERGY IN WHOLEEE 2016 GRIDS COME ON. I love how Daniel basically took young rookie Max under his arm and just had fun on and off the track with It? The biggest flop was when Max was just so hotheaded and they crashed in Baku. I thought their relationship gonna be stranded but GUESS WHAT? MAXIEL IS STILL ALIVE UNTIL NOW HELLO? and their relationship is so real not only for the camera but also out the camera. The other highlight moment is when Max is already 'too big' daniel really steps down from RBR because he knows, Max will outshine him, and he knows (what he learned from brocedes too) that it's better to go the other way.

(newer)

4. Dando (COMFORT SHIIP Not romantically also)

I thought daniel was max soulmate but LANDO excuse me? They can share daniel If they want. i just love how lando becomes so silly and blushes like school teenager around Daniel. i love how they INFLUENCE each other. I think because I feel nostalgic with them because they really similar with Maxiel in 2017 era, just one season before Daniel goes to renault, Maxiel was strained on thin paper. Dando other hands, well Daniel mostly, struggled in McLaren (with the papaya fans also still adore Carlos that time and refuse to let go him) plus Lando was shining bright just like Max 2016. Again, daniel he stepped OUT (this time). I guess, that similarity made me miss maxiel too.

5. last one C2 (Charlos) gosh, please!! ultimate!!!

loving and adoring them was expected though. It wasn't because they're both handsome (I already know Carlos was goofy ever since his Renault era so I never consider him as a handsome man) BUT DANG BOY, RED ON CARLOS WAS SOMETHING ELSE? RED ON CARLOS, BLACK ON CARLOS WAS SAKDAJSKDFHLKJSAFHKJAF.

-- okay back to the c2. It was a slow build okay? I realized that they are special during Carlos's first podium, Monaco 2021. Charles WAS LIKE ME. Blushing giggling, shy gazes toward Carlos. they are so endearing. Both of them are the victims of the Ferrari team. But I think they both understand each burden (Charles being the predestinated one, and Carlos had to prove his talent bcs he is a two times world champion son) plus, the way Ferrari screwed Charles in 2019. The team was cracked but with Carlos, I didn't expect this cursed team is heal :"D (Crying) and Charles become more relaxed, more enjoyed, even his coping mechanism is with laughter and Carlos just matches his energy. Idk , they gave me... a relationship through ups and downs.

and I realized there are so many people trying to pit them against each other, their fans are constantly arguing about who is the best and better driver, always dragging one of them down, but guess what is Carlos and Charles's response? it's completely differs from real life. They knew and fucking see it their fans tension. Carlos's anger to the Spanish media has already proven enough he had enough of these things. Charles also said in an interview that "what he saw about him and Carlos is nowhere true". they are the best PR relationship couple out there, but I also can see a genuine, how they know each other so weell. How Charles kept the football game updated just because of Carlos, how Carlos knows his favorite food, how they had their own internal jokes,

they are both soo lowkey on the camera during and outside the race. and I think that Is why people never hype them like carlando or everyone's favorite childhood rival to lovers lesttapen. And I thought they didn't really hang out with each other that much but WHAT WAS THAT SUMMER BREAK? HUH? YOU IN MALORCA AND WENT TO SOUTHERN FRENCH? What were the matching Instagram feeds color and aesthetic at New York? WHAT WAS THE THING ABOUT PASTA CARBONARA UN LUNGA NON PENNE? WHAT WAS THAT THING CHARLES SLEPT ON THE FLOOR just to accompany Carlos watching World Cup? The dolomites? The Sardinia?

there are soo many thing that they keep it so low-profile and under camera, and yet their conversation is so domestic.

[lazypeachsoul]

Housewarming

Summary: A housewarming party that turns a bit warmer that one might expect.

Pairing: Robert 'Bob' Floyd x fem!reader (no Y/N mention)

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: 18+ only. Oral sex (f receiving), a slight embarrassing situation. can't promise it's good smut because it's my first time writing it, but enjoy.

masterlist ; requests are open

Too busy arranging some sliders on a plate you ignored the company you now had in the kitchen. It wasn’t until you felt a pair of arms wind themselves around your waist that you realized sweet Robert had found his way to you.

“How come it’s our party and I haven’t been able to talk with you since everyone arrived?” He murmured, lips pressed against the crown of your head.

“How come it’s our party and I haven’t been able to talk with you since everyone arrived?” He murmured, lips pressed against the crown of your head.

“How come it’s our party and I haven’t been able to talk with you since everyone arrived?” He murmured, lips pressed against the crown of your head.

“Because I’ve been busy being a good host.” You shrugged, trying the perfect position for the appetizer. “And you were too busy talking about the best film. And best book. Oh, don’t forget the best record.”

You both laughed thinking about the amount of debates that had taken place during the party. Most of them with Jake and Phoenix as main debaters and Maverick or Penny as the moderator. It was chaotic, and borderline stupid that those topics seemed to rile your friends so much. But you knew Bob wouldn’t change his found family for all the money in the world, and you couldn’t be happier to consider them family too. 

“I didn’t even have to talk, Phoenix has enough strong arguments to destroy Jake.” He joked while moving his hand from your waist to the sliders, trying to snatch one before you before you slapped his hand away.

“Those are for the guests! I’m trying to make them look pretty.”

“I can’t believe I’m not allowed to eat in my own house, that’s a sacrilege.” He huffed, trying again to reach for the plate. “You wouldn’t let me go hungry, right sunshine?”

His sweet voice against your ear was almost enough to let your guard down. Almost. 

“I wouldn’t let you go hungry, Robby, of course not. But the guests get first dibs, it’s part of being good hosts.” 

“Sunshine, they are friends. Do you really think they would notice if a plate was missing something? We spend months living on carriers, whatever you give us is gourmet.” He argued, squeezing his arms around you softly before pressing a soft kiss against your neck. “But I do like this new side of you. You look beautiful, fleeting around our house and playing the perfect host.” 

You felt heat rise from your belly at his words. Or maybe it was because his lips kept pressing closer and closer to that spot under your ear that made your knees buckle. He was playing a dangerous game, knowing the living room was full of people who were probably close to realizing that you weren’t with them. But the move had been stressful and it didn’t allow for much time together, which made you almost wish you didn’t have to move. 

“Our house does sound incredible.” You mumbled trying to move your neck away from his lips like the rational part of your brain screamed. “Robby, stop. Our friends are here.” You bit your lip when you felt one of his hands move towards your hip and grab it. “Your boss is here.”

“You can’t call me that and expect me to stop, sunshine. You know what it does to me.” You did, of course you did. But the irrational part of your brain didn’t want the moment to end. “And our friends are fine, Phoenix has enough in her for another debate.” He spoke against the shell of your ear before pulling your back against him. “I just want some time with you.”

“Later.” You tried to reason but it sounded weak even to you. He pressed you closed against him, making it very clear that waiting until later wasn’t in his plans. “Not here, everyone can see…”

And for a moment you thought you had managed to convince him to stop fooling around until you were alone again. But that thought quickly disappeared when you saw his hand move towards the counter to knock the sleeve of crackers you had set aside for the charcuterie board. 

“Robert Floyd! Don’t play with the food.” You tried to scold him but the entire situation was too funny to even sound serious.

“Oops, how clumsy of me.” And the same way you couldn’t hide your amusement, he couldn’t hide the audaciousness behind his movement. He moved away from you but before you could start missing his body heat he returned to his position with the fallen crackers in hand. “These are too broken, my love. You know what?” He left the snacks on the counter before he held your hand and started pulling you towards the door left of  “We should go to the walk-in pantry that you wanted so bad when we were looking for a house.” 

You could only giggle at the implication of his words and suddenly the charcuterie board became the most unimportant thing. As soon as you stopped fighting his pulls and looked to the entry of the kitchen, making sure nobody was looking for you two, Bob knew he had won this battle and a bright smile took over his face. 

“And we need to go together?” You asked sarcastically, knowing there was no fighting it anymore. 

“Of course, what if you go lost in this big new house?”

Bob gave a final strong pull to get you inside the pantry, wrapping his arms around you before closing the door with his foot. You turned around ready to deliver the next sarcastic answer but were quickly shut up by Bob’s lips pressing against yours. A clumsy kiss that only fueled your need for it, your need for Bob. “God, I love you so much.” He mumbled when you broke the kiss for air, but remained close enough to feel his breath against your lips. “I need to thank you for organizing the party.” 

You hummed against Bob’s lips, kissing him again and wrapping your arms around his neck, wanting to keep him as close as possible in the limited space of the pantry. “And how exactly are you going to thank me?” 

You fully expected him to tell you everything he was going to do to you that night when you were alone again. To take this small moment to rile you up and tease you, leave you wanting more during the rest of the party. What you hadn’t taken into account is that your time with Bob had been very limited the last week, with grueling air training and never ending work. And he wasn’t willing to just stop after a kiss. His hands moved from their place on your waist, wrapping around you before lifting you from the ground and sitting you on the step stool that stood to the side. 

“You are going to sit there looking pretty.” He held your face with his big hands before kissing your lips softly, murmuring a sweet ‘as always’. “And I am going to enjoy myself between your thighs. It’s a win-win if you think about it.” 

He kneeled before you, wrapping his arms around your thighs and squeezing them softly. At that moment you were thankful you found a boyfriend as incredible as him, thankful that you chose a comfortable dress… hell, you were even thankful that you saw the idea for the step stool on pinterest. 

“Robbie.” You spoke breathily, anticipation getting the best of you. “Our friends-”

But your boyfriend stopped you before you could finish your sentence with a simple movement of his hands that were now parting your thighs. Taking the glasses off his face he folded them and threading them through the cleavage of your dress with an amount of precision that should be scary. 

“You hold onto them and try not to get us caught.”

You could feel the blood pumping through your veins when his rough fingers inched towards your dampening panties. Gasping when you felt the fabric shift and the air hit your heated skin. Or maybe it was the feeling of Bob’s face so close to your wet pussy that was making you gasp. “Robb-” “We have to make this quick, but I promise this is just a taste for tonight.”

You felt a soft kiss against your mouth, a gesture that Bob always had before he made you see stars. The first stroke of his tongue was always the sweetest, always accompanied by a groan from him and a need to brace yourself. You tried to hold onto the step stool when his tongue ran through your folds again but it wasn’t enough.

With every lick you tried your best to control your volume but it was difficult when the pleasure was only growing. You felt your body getting hotter and time seemed to stop. Looking down between your legs, seeing Bob looking back at you with glazed eyes while he sucked your clit only made you throw your head back in pleasure. Your mouth opened slightly, ready to let free the moan that was growing in your chest when the sucking stopped. “Don’t.” 

Inside your muddled brain you realized the precarious position you were in and clamped your mouth, deciding to instead bite your lip. “That’s it baby, we wouldn’t want to get caught when I’ve just started.” His voice was sickly sweet and you could see the lust in his darkened eyes.

Bob’s fingers made their way between your thighs parting your folds and making you whine when you felt his tongue circle your entrance. “So good…” You breathed and you swore you could feel his smile against your pussy. The hand that was still holding you leg open lifted it until it rested on Bob’s shoulder, allowing him to be closer to you and forcing you to thread your fingers in his blonde hair. 

Every lick felt electric in your body, every time he dipped the tip into your entrance and his nose bumped against your clit making the pressure in your lower stomach grow. You hadn’t realized how wound up you had been after all the work until you were spread in your pantry fighting to keep quiet. Your toes were scrunching inside your socks, breath now coming in pants and you tried your best to buckle your hips without falling. 

“That’s it, baby. I know you are close.” He whispered looking at you with glazed eyes and circling your clit with his thumb. “Cum for me, let go.” He moved his mouth back against your clit and with a harsh suck you felt the overwhelming pressure explode. Muscles seizing, hands holding harder against Bob’s hair and your hand falling between your shoulders trying to control the waves of pleasure rolling through you. “Attagirl.” 

And even with your blissed out brain you could hear the grin in his voice. He placed a wet kiss against the inside of your thigh before lowering it from his shoulder. Looking back at him you pushed yourself to move forward, lowering your hand from his hair to the neck of his t-shirt and pulling him into you for a deep kiss. You could taste yourself on his lips, making you whine. 

“That was a hell of a thank you, flyboy.” You whispered, goosebumps covering your skin from the adrenaline and endorphins.

“It was my pleasure.” You wanted to keep kissing him but a noise on the other side of the door made both of you freeze. In a great effort you both raised from your places and straightened your clothes the best you could without a mirror.

“Bob? Are you here?” The voice spoke from the other side of the room and you recognized it was Phoenix who had ventured into the kitchen. 

You looked at Bob in a panic, wanting to push him out the door but knowing out of the two, trying to explain the messy hair and the bulge in his trousers would be complicated. You took a deep breath and tried to fix your hair again before stepping out the pantry and quickly closing the door behind you. 

“Hi Nat, anything you need?” You tried to sound inconspicuous but by the look on her face you knew she was suspicious.

“I realized both hosts had disappeared, so I was looking for Bob expecting him to be with you.” She leaned against the kitchen island and you leaned against the door of the pantry to mirror her demeanor. “Need me to help you with anything?” She spoke while pointing to the forgotten charcuterie board. 

“Oh, thank you for offering Nat but I just need the crackers and it’s done.” You shook your head. “That’s what I needed from the pantry.”

She raised an eyebrow and your heartbeat quickened. Natasha had become your best friend in the time she had been Bob’s pilot. And that position as your best friend meant she could read you like an open book. If she was looking at you like that, she knew something. 

“And you needed Bob’s glasses to look for the crackers?” Shit, his glasses were still hanging from the front of your dress. “And where are the crackers?”

You wanted the word to swallow you whole, but instead you felt the door of the pantry give slightly and a hand snaked from behind shyly. You quickly took the glasses and placed them on Bob’s hand, feeling yourself drown in embarrassment. The hand moved inside again and came out for a second time with the new sleeve of crackers. Idiot. You quickly took them and looked back at Nat who, after the entire interaction, looked to be holding back a huge laugh. 

“Looking for crackers, huh?” She spoke before she burst out, losing her battle against the laugh.

You cleared your throat, trying to swallow your embarrassment before moving back to the counter with the crackers to finish what had been so rudely interrupted. 

“Honestly, good for you.” You tried to hold a smile while arranging the plate but her words were making the best out of the awkward situation. “I wouldn’t have thought he had it in him to do something like that.” 

Both of you burst into laughter, a laughter that was only interrupted when you heard a door close with a bang. Turning you could see Bob standing outside of the pantry, glasses now on and hair still a bit messy. “You know I can hear you, right?” His cheeks were rosy, not sure if it was because of the embarrassment or the comments of his friend. 

You started laughing again, this time not even your boyfriend could hold it in. Thank goodness it had been Natasha walking in on you two and turned the awkwardness into good fun. Another person joined you in the kitchen when they heard the laugh coming from the kitchen. 

“Is this another party I have not been invited to? What is so funny?” Hangman spoke and it only made the three of you laugh harder.

[toujokaname]

HiMERU's 2023 Birthday Celebration

Characters: HiMERU, Anzu

"Fufu, thank you very much for your congratulations. HiMERU has been eagerly looking forward to your words."

[ Read on my site for a better viewing experience using Ois~su ♪ ]

Birthday Moment 1

HiMERU: (Phew... The earlier commotion seems unbelievable now. It's remarkably quiet.)

Oh, Anzu-san...? Thank you for your hard work at the party earlier. Have you finished cleaning up?

—HiMERU has been here drinking coffee and resting for a while.

💬 Once again, happy birthday.

HiMERU: Hehe, thank you ♪

You said it during the party as well, but it's always nice to hear, no matter how many times it's said.

💬 It smells nice.

HiMERU: —Ahh, is it this coffee's aroma? It's takeout from Cinnamon.

Shiina offered, "Here, have it after your meal," and handed it over. Feeling it would be rude to refuse, HiMERU accepted it gratefully.

Birthday Moment 2

HiMERU: Today's weather is nice. There aren't many clouds, so it should be clear tonight.

—If possible, HiMERU would really like it to be clear on Tanabata night.

What is it, Anzu-san? Hm, you want to meet here again later...?

💬 Is that okay?

HiMERU: Certainly, it's no trouble. HiMERU is available at that time.

There's just one more thing he has to do before the appointed time.

💬 It might be a bit late though...

HiMERU: You don't need to worry so much about that.

—Since HiMERU also has other matters to attend to, a later time would actually be more convenient.

Birthday Moment 3

HiMERU: In that case, let's meet here at the agreed time...

Well, HiMERU is considering returning to the ES building now.

Oops, apologies. It looks like a message just arrived from Hold-hands.

💬 Who's it from?

HiMERU: "I blew all my cash gambling, so lend me some! I'll pay you back triple as a birthday treat, yeah? ♪"

...That's what it says. Even without mentioning his name, it's obvious who it is, isn't it.

💬 I don't mind if you look at it.

HiMERU: Then, pardon. Hm, it's from Oukawa.

Everyone from Crazy:B is gathering at Cinnamon, so won't HiMERU come too... Since he's been invited, he must attend.

Birthday Night / First Part

HiMERU: Thank you for your patience. Apologies, HiMERU was a little late.

—Ahh, sure enough, it's clear tonight. You can see the Milky Way up in the sky.

Vega and Altair are visible as well. Look, over there...

Anzu: Are they the stars of Orihime and Hikoboshi?

HiMERU: Yes, that's right. They're the first-magnitude stars of Lyra and Aquila, respectively.

The town's lights make it a bit hard to see, but first-magnitude stars are exceptionally bright, so they're easy to find.

HiMERU: Speaking of which, HiMERU's birthday does fall on Tanabata. That may be why he received several presents with star motifs.

The Sweets Fan Club members even prepared a star-themed cake.

—Everyone must have put a lot of thought into giving gifts connected to HiMERU.

Anzu: It sure was a lively party.

HiMERU: Yes, it was. People kept coming to offer their congratulations, so it was quite hectic.

But, well, HiMERU thinks it was a chaotic yet enjoyable party.

HiMERU: —By the way, HiMERU missed the chance to give this to you.

Here you go, Anzu-san. It's coffee.

HiMERU brought it because he wanted to leisurely enjoy coffee with you.

Anzu: Thank you.

HiMERU: You're welcome. Thanks to Shiina's instruction on how to brew it, its flavor is guaranteed.

—Yes, it's as you guessed; this coffee is handmade by HiMERU ♪

Birthday Night / Second Part

HiMERU: Hehe, it's wonderful to hear that you enjoyed the coffee.

Watching the Tanabata starry sky over a cup of coffee is rather pleasant, isn't it?

...Oh? Anzu-san, you have a present for HiMERU?

Anzu: Here you go.

HiMERU: —Very well then, if you don't mind, HiMERU will open it.

Aah, what a beautiful brooch. The ruby-like deep crimson stone is quite dreamy.

HiMERU: What do you think? HiMERU thought it'd be a waste to just put it away, so he decided to try wearing it.

He didn't expect that you would organize a party for him, much less give him a present.

—Please let HiMERU do something to thank you.

Anzu: Don't worry about it.

HiMERU: Hm, you gave it because you wanted to... Is that right...?

Well then, next time we meet, please let HiMERU treat you to coffee again.

HiMERU: —The night is starting to wear on. It looks like some clouds are coming in as well.

We've finished our coffee, so shall we go inside before the wind picks up?

Thank you so much for today. Not only did you prepare the party, but you also arranged such a wonderful gift... It must have been tough, right?

Anzu: I enjoyed it.

HiMERU: Is that so... It's heartening to have people who give it their all for HiMERU's sake.

For your sake, HiMERU will strive even harder as an idol. Please look forward to HiMERU's future.

[ ☆ ]

[fangirlfrom-hell]

The Fragile Bonds Part 3 || Jay and Will Halstead x Halstead Sister

*re-posting this because I'm stupid and accidentaly erased my blog 🫠

Summary: After their father's death, Becca moved in with Jay. This is the first time the detective brother has to go undercover since his sister has been under his full care, creating a challenging situation for both. Reluctantly, Becca will have to live with Will and his family during those days, even though she doesn't feel very welcome in that household.

"Becca, sweetie, would you please open the door for me?" 

Becca stared at her reflection in the mirror, her red puffy eyes showed how much she had been crying. She cursed to her insides, she wanted to hide the fact before going out. 

Another knock, this time harder, and the voice changed to a preoccupied tone, "Becca, please". 

Although the voice made her feel a little more like home, she didn't want to open the door, she didn't want anybody to see her in this state. She was feeling ashamed of her actions now, she wanted to dissapear. She couldn't understand more between the whispering, until Natalie raised her voice a little bit "How? Are you going to break it?". She wasn't happy. 

"Becca, I'm going to open up, ok? If you can hear me, step aside" In that moment, the youngest Halstead slowly opened the door, her gaze on the floor. 

"Hey, there you are!", Trudy Platt said in a low voice, almost like a whisper. 

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I was just--", she tried, but couldn't invent any excuse. 

Trudy smiled with a bit of sadness "It's ok. It's good to see you". 

There was an uncomfortable silence, "Your brother called to the district asking for help, he was worried for you". 

"Will?", she frowned. 

"Hmhm, he asked for Upton, but she's...busy right now, so you got me instead". Platt said in a funny way. "

“You didn't have to..." 

"Oh, I did have to, yes". 

For the first time, Becca raised her head and smiled as soon as she met the Sergeant's in the eyes. That action transformed the tense atmosphere into a more relaxed one. Suddenly, the rush of emotions surged through her, so with a racing heart the urge to cry reappeared. This time was different, it somehow felt warm as a relief; for the first time in these chaotic days she felt safe. Acting purely in instinct, the girl jumped and wrapped her arms tightly around Trudy, who immediately embraced her in return, whispering soothing words in a motherly tone, "It's alright, everything's going to be alright".

"I'll check on Owen", Natalie sighed before dissapearing, but her exit wasn't noticed. 

"Come on, let's get some fresh air. It will do good to you". 

The sun had already set, casting a darkening hue over the surroundings as Platt and Becca strolled down Will's street. The only sounds in the vicinity were the laughter of kids playing nearby. The silence between them wasn't uncomfortable, though, it was a peaceful silence. 

"Do you want to tell me what happened?", the Sargeant was the first one to speak. Becca just shrugged; many thoughts crossed her mind before she could answer.

 "I... I got overwhelmed, I guess. It's silly, really. I had been looking forward to this day so much that when things didn't go as planned, I got frustrated. Then Natalie accused me of having a meltdown, and I lost it. Owen wasn't even there, I wasn't even yelling. I needed some space to calm down, so I locked myself in the bathroom. That's all." 

Trudy's tone became very serious, yet warm, as she pronounced her name, "Becca..." 

"Yes, Serge?" "Are you hurt?" The girl stopped and locked her eyes on the woman. "I need to know." 

"No," Becca answered simply, her brother's image in her mind. She felt proud of the way she managed to control herself. Trudy nodded as they continued walking. 

"I miss Jay", Becca said with a hint of anger mixed with sadness in her voice. 

The Sergeant sighed, "Well, this might end sooner than we thought." 

"Yeah, that's what Hails said." 

When Becca returned to the house, she went straight to bed, trying to avoid Natalie and her brother. She didn't want to see him when he came back from work. Becca fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow; she was emotionally drained and tired, her eyes burning. She only woke up to the whispers of Will and Nat at midnight. She couldn't quite understand what they were saying, but the tone was far from calm; they were arguing, probably about her and what had happened earlier. With Mr. Snuggles surrounded tightly in her arms, she repeated to herself one day less, although the phrase no longer held any meaning. 

There was a moment when she felt the door open behind her. Becca closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep as some footsteps approached her, but they didn't draw near. A deep sigh was heard before the door closed again, it was probably Will. 

"Becca, Beccs" The girl opened her gritty eyes to see her brother's face right in front of her. "Sorry, kid" he whispered, " I let you sleep as much as I could, but it's late now". 

She groaned and covered her head with the blanket. She felt all of yesterday's weight on her chest and it burned. 

"Come on" you could hear him smiling. "I made pancakes and I cut them into flower shapes just as you love them".

Becca uncovered abruptly and looked at her brother with a furrowed brow and a question mark all over her face, "yeah, I might have loved that when I was like 5, maybe?" 

"Whatever, I thought it would be a nice gesture. Come on!". 

Becca rubbed her eyes and yawned while she managed to answer at the same time "I'm not hungry". 

"Come on, I can't eat them all by myself... It's just the two of us this morning". He hoped that last part would convince her. 

“Alright, fine!”

Becca was thankful that Will didn't bring up the topic of the incident in the bathroom. She felt a wave of relief, even though there was an unmistakable tension hanging in the air. Despite the lingering unease, they managed to share a breakfast that felt almost normal, right before parting to school. 

"I'm sorry, Becca. I really am," Will said to her before she got out of the car to head to her classes. His voice carried a heavy dose of regret. "I'm just glad you're okay, kid". 

It was hard to concentrate in school that day.

Unfortunately, Thursday was Natalie’s day off from The Med, so Becca had mentally prepared to spend the entire day cooped up in her room. However, her brother wasn't willing to let her isolate herself completely and convinced her, albeit somewhat reluctantly, to come out to the living room to work on her homework. So, there she was, sitting on the floor with her schoolwork spread out on the coffee table. Occasionally, trying not to be too obvious, Will would peek his head in to make sure everything was okay.

"Where are you going?" Will asked her on one of those occasions.

Annoyed by the constant monitoring, the girl replied, "To the bathroom. Do you want to come?"

It was then that Becca realized Owen was alone in her room. The little boy was trying to reach Mr. Snuggles, who was lying in the middle of the bed.

"Oh, no. Not that one, Owen," she said calmly as she moved the plush toy away and hid it under the pillows. "Not that one."

Becca reentered the living room with Owen, holding his hand, only to discover her brother and his girlfriend discreetly inspecting her belongings. Natalie was holding Becca's backpack.

"Did you lose something?" Becca inquired, her voice tinged with curiosity and concern.

Both adults seemed surprised by her unexpected return.

"What are you doing?" Becca questioned, casting an inquisitive look at the scene.

Natalie turned to Will, who appeared momentarily frozen and somewhat apprehensive.

"It's just a precaution," she replied.

Becca pressed her lips together and nodded, her voice soft, "Okay, then. I'll leave you to it," and she walked away, retreating to the bathroom where she decided to take a shower.

Somehow, she managed to maintain her composure, but a tempest of emotions was brewing inside her. It wasn't anxiety this time, but a profound sadness and a gnawing insecurity that consumed her. The warm water helped her relax, and a few silent tears mingled with the flowing streams. As a distraction, she began to reproduce her dance solo, moving her hands along the music playing in her mind. She counted the blue tiles one by one, each one a brief distraction from her turbulent thoughts. With great effort, she changed into her pajamas, her still-wet, unbrushed hair clinging to her shoulders, and she lay on the bed, although the clock showed it was only 8:00 pm.

Something beneath her pillow bothered her, and then she remembered she had hidden her cat there, which brought a small, bittersweet smile to her face. She clung to the plush toy for a while, taking in its comforting scent, reminiscent of her mom, and it gradually eased her feelings. Without letting go of the stuffed animal, she extended her arm to retrieve her phone from the drawer and opened her conversation with Jay.

I really, really miss you, Jay Jay

Becca was at her breaking point, unsure of how much more she could endure.

[alxndryngs]

Literally wondering if you can make a cursed chaotic fic where Alcina drinks her wine and apparently there is a potion in there that turns you into a baby mentally. Surprise, she is a baby now in a grown woman's body and has to be taken care of for 24 hours until tomorrow when she turns back to normal again. She even doesn't know how to talk and walk anymore and Heisenberg stole the potion then put in inside her wine as a prank...

Literally imagine babysitting a grown ass 9'6 woman whose brain has been turned back into a baby.

Also you can ignore this ask if you want, I'm really just asking for fun. 😊

Xoxo Milkie

Absolutely 😂 Oh I had a blast writing this. Thanks for the request!

------------

Lady CeeCee

"Your lycans have intruded Donnas land multiple times now, Heisenberg. Do not make me handle them for you, do you understand?"

You could tell your Lady was out of her mind bored as she listened to Mother Miranda talk to her son across the dinner table.

It was their monthly family dinner, this time at Castle Dimitrescu. Every month the location would change from Miranda, to Alcina, then Karl, Donna and lastly Salvatore before the whole thing repeated itself.

Lady Dimitrescu sat leaned back in her chair, eyebrows raised as she released a big sigh. Her head turned to face you, standing against the wall and offering a small smile which you returned. The lady tapped her glass gently and gave a small nod, letting you know shed like some wine.

Carrying over the bottle you were holding, you stood next to her as you opened it. The seal felt like it has been opened before, but you didn't pay too much of a thought to it as you poured her her glass before returning back to your spot.

You couldn't help but notice how shifty Lady Dimitrescu began to get after what must've been her third glass. Heisenberg on the other hand was grinning from ear to ear, which all of you thought was caused by the girls small commotion with Angie.

Even though you knew you weren't allowed to leave your spot during times like these, you sneaked over to her. As soon as she noticed, her head turned to face you before she gave you a soft smile.

"My Lady, are you quite well?"

You whispered, her eyebrows furrowing for a moment while she remained silent for a few seconds.

"Mama?"

Silence fell over the room faster than someone could from the tower of worship, Miranda turning her head to her eldest daughter, the look of surprise on her face not to miss.

"Alcina, I'm not sure if I ever had you refer to me that way-"

She, however, was cut short by Alcina turning her head to her and blowing raspberries once across the whole table. Miranda, who had gotten some spit droplets in her face, closed her eyes while desperately feeling around the table for a napkin.

"H-Here mother.."

Miranda muttered silent latin curses while taking the napkin Salvatore had handed her.

"How dare you Alcina!"

She on the other hand payed no mind to the funny looking bird woman while turning her attention back to you, holding out her arms.

You looked up at her in pure shock. Not only had she just spit in Mother Mirandas face, but she had also called you Mama. Your cheeks burned scarlet as you turned to face the table, all eyes on you and your Lady.

Once Alcina repeated herself, even going as far as making grabby hands, Heisenberg lost it.

He began laughing tears while watching the scene unfold before him, beginning to curl and hold his stomach.

"I dont think the lady is quite well. If you'd excuse us, I think its best if she laid DOWN!!"

You yelled and next thing you knew was that your Lady had taken you to the ground. The over 300 pound woman was now laying ontop of you and you feared this might've been the end. What a way to go, squished by your lady. Serving in.. whatever this was.

In no time the daughters were by your side. Daniela was trying to pull you out from underneath her mother, Cassandra was trying to get her to stand up and Bela tried to talk to her, asking if she was alright.

"Heisenberg! What have you done to her this time!"

Miranda bellowed, sick of her sons games. This wasnt the first time he had 'pranked' his big sister and their mother was beginning to tire of it.

"OUT!" She yelled, taking him by the ear and dragging him out of the dining room. Salvatore, as always followed his mother. Donna on the other hand, took a look at her sister before making haste at getting out of the uncomfortable situation herself.

"Come on little human! She cant lay on you for that long or we'll have human paste to spread on bread!" Daniela said while tugging on your arm, desperately trying to get you out from underneath her mother.

"I'm trying my best Lady Daniela" You wheezed, grasping onto the redheads arm for the life of you.

It had taken a while, but after getting you out of underneath the tall woman, the girls had managed to drag her through the castle and towards her bedchambers. You followed behind quickly, as her handmaiden not sure what your role in this specific scenario was supposed to be.

As soon as they rounded the corner, dragging their mother, she began screaming out for.. you?

"Mama!"

Then again.

"MAMA"

Lifting up your gown over your feet, you trotted the few feet left for you to round the corner. As soon as you saw her, you could see she was just getting ready to call for you another time. When her eyes met yours, her mouth closed and her lips stretched into a smile.

"Hooo!"

Your head tilts to the side, was that supposed to be a hello? You went along with it anyway, not wanting her to scream again.

"Hooo!'

You gave her a small wave, Lady Dimitrescu giggled while leaning her head back and looking at her daughters dragging her by the arms into her bedchambers and with all their power, pushing their mother onto the bed.

They wished you farewell once they saw their mother babbling into the pillow, dissolving into a swarm of flies and flying out under the crack beneath the door.

So there you were, your lady on the bed and seemingly acting like an infant according to the babbling she gave off. Now that you were alone, you were finally allowed to call her by her first name. Slowly, while approaching, you called her name.

"Alcina?"

"Hmmpf?"

Her body turned over, nearly tipping off the edge of the bed in the process as she looked at you. The smile you loved beamed at you. You couldnt help but smile back as you stood beside the bed.

"Alcina whats going on? What's happening to you?"

At first she only babbled, you thought she was making a fool out of you now. After all, you hadnt seen anything like this happen before.

"Alcina!"

"Ceeeeena"

"No. Alcina- god I feel like a mother teaching an infant how to speak" At this point you were more talking to yourself than her, but she didnt care. She just kept looking at you with her big orange eyes, looking like the happiest woman in the world. Well, until she began to pout while trying to say her name.

"CeeCee?"

"Sure. Whatever you want, my lady"

You said, raising your hands to surrender. She, on the other hand, had other plans for your surrendering gesture. With her left hand, she reached and smacked her own into yours. The impact of her power send you to the ground with a small scream. Alcina, who seemed to understand nothing anymore, rolled over.

"Mama?"

Before you could answer her, she had fallen ontop of you once again. This time, full force. You let out a yell as you felt her squish your tiny body, feeling the force of her body slamming into yours breaking at least one rib.

She completely ignored the muffled scream you let out into her chest, instead she was babbling happily while laying on her new chosen mama.

-----------

"No! Don't colour on the carpet, damn it! You'll kill me for that later" You whined, quickly retrieving a rag with some soap to try and clean out the crayon stain.

Now, you were used to removing blood out of literally every material, including her carpets, but oil crayons?

Almost an entire day had passed since Karls prank on Alcina. You didnt dare to take your eye off of her for even one minute under these circumstances, hence as to why you haven't seen the castle nurse for your broken ribs yet. It hurt to breathe most of the time, but if you took slow short(er) breaths, it was bearable..

"Oh calm down, she'll be back to normal in a day!" Karl said on the other side of the phone which was grasped tightly in your hand. The other was holding your hurting ribs which, without doubt, were either fractured or broken.

Taking a deep breath, eyes focused on Alcina as she played with a stuffed animal you got for her from your room, you began to whisper yell down the phone.

"Listen here, you son of a bitch! Alcina is acting like a full grown infant and im taking care of her alone! If you ever pull something like this again, I swear to miranda I will cut every single head of your lycans off. She will die of embarrassment when she's back to normal!"

Karl laughed on the other side of the phone, humming and pretending to think for a moment.

"I'm taking that you don't like breastfeeding?"

And with that, you slammed the phone back down on its holder.

You hissed loudly while getting back up from the ground, tightly grasping the chair she had in her room. Another thing that hurt like a bitch doing, was leaning down.

Alcina turned her head to look at you, turning her head away from her paper on the ground that she was trying to draw a blue dragon on.

"Mama?"

When your eyes met hers, you saw how her lip wobbled and eyes filled with tears.

"Oh no," You deadpanned, slowly sitting in her chair while shaking your head "No no no, I'm okay"

Watching as she crawled over, you began to hold out your arms to her. Alcina laid her head into your lap as she sniffled. You gently ran your fingers through her hair, looking down at her while at the same time trying to not lean over or back and hurt your ribs even more.

Alcina was still holding the stuffed animal of yours as her head laid in your lap, a few minutes passing like this before she cleared her throat. You payed no mind at first, she had cleared her throat a couple times today already. You made a mental note to give her another drink soon.

However, all that washed away when you heard your ladys voice.

"Y/n."

Slowly, you turned your head and looked down at your ladys head in your lap. Now it was your turn to clear your throat.

"My Lady.."

"We will never speak a word of this, understood?"

"Absolutely. Whatever you want."

"... I'm keeping this stuffed animal, if that's alright. I've grown quite attached to it."

------------

Word count: 1,806

[gunilslaugh]

Silly Three Day Crush

Han Hyeongjun 

Summary: You’d mostly forgotten about the silly three day crush you had on one of your brother’s friends. That was until one night you ended up telling the story about it and maybe some of those three day feelings resurfaced.

WC:~1.2k

Warning:grammar

photo not mine credits to owner.

Seungmin was your only brother, but growing up it felt like you had six. Seungmin's friends Gunil, Jungsu, Jiseok, Hyeongjun and Jooyeon were constantly at your house. Even your parents referred to them as their sons. It definitely got a bit chaotic at times and sometimes you wished they would just go back to their actual homes, but for the most part you actually enjoyed them all being around. Yes, they were very annoying at times, but what siblings aren’t?

Once they graduated highschool and started to attend college their presence in your house way cut back. At first you relished in their absence, claiming that you finally had freedom from them. The truth is after a week you found out how much you missed them, though you would never admit to it. The house felt so much emptier and like it lost its liveliness. It did teach you to cherish the moments you got to spend all together. 

A year later you started college yourself. Between classes and piles of assignments to do, you understood dwindle in your brother’s friends' presences. Thankfully the college you attend was close to your home, so you got to go home to sleep in the comfort of your own bed. Although some nights there was no sleep, just dark eye circles under your eyes the next morning from working all night. 

Now, four years later you're celebrating your college graduation. All the stress, crying and sleep deprivation paid off. You, y/f/n, Seungmin, Gunil, Jungsu, Jiseok, Hyeongjun and Jooyeon were all gathered in your living room. 

“Man you had all the luck y/n,” your friend said.

“What do you mean?” you asked them confused.

“You grew up surrounded by these good looking guys,” they stated. Gunil, Jooyeon and Jiseok pulled smug faces at your friend's compliment. Jungsu, Seungmin and Hyeongjun shyly laughed.

“But you see I knew them before they looked like this,” you say, pulling a slightly disgusted face.

“What are you saying?”

“I’ve always been handsome don’t deny it,”

“Are you saying I was ugly,”

“I thought we were friends, how could you say that?” They all started rambling out, offended by your words. 

“Oh come on! You’re saying you never once had even a tiny little crush on any one of them?” y/f/n accused you.

“Nope I never even- oh wait! I totally forgot about that until now,” you spoke, not really providing much context.

“Are you saying you did have a crush on one of my friends? When? Who?” Seungmin instantly interrogated you. You laughed at how he suddenly pulled out his protective brother card. 

“Relax, it was on Hyeongjun during finals for my freshman year of college and it only lasted for three days,” you explained.

“Three days?” Gunil chuckled “What prompted you to like him for only three days?” He continued chuckling.

“Like I said it was during finals and I was stressed out of my mind. I hadn’t slept in two days. I had a ten page paper to write and other assignments on top of that. I’m pretty sure I was high off of caffeine too. Anyway to get to the point. I was one more page away from a mental breakdown when I dropped my pencil. Now, I was ready to pick up that pencil and stab myself in the neck with it, but someone else picked it up for me. It was Hyeongjun. He handed me the pencil, patted my head and told me that I was doing well. That was it he picked up my pencil for me and suddenly I was in love for the next three days until finals were over.” you told the story. Jooyeon suddenly knocked your phone that was on your lap onto the floor. Then bent down to pick it up, handing it back to you.

“Do you have a crush on me now?” He asked teasingly.

“Very funny,” you said sarcastically. 

“Well how do you feel about that Hyeongjun,” Jiseok asks, turning everyone's attention to Hyeongjun.

“Um…it sounds really silly. Having a crush on someone because they picked up your pencil,” he laughs lightly.

“Exactly! That’s why I forgot about it. It was just a silly three day crush. It really didn’t mean anything,” you agreed with Hyeongjun.

“I’m sure it meant a lot to you at the time,” your friend poked.

“Shut up,” you reached over smacking their arm. 

Before it got too late everyone headed home, leaving you and Seungmin together. 

“So you really liked Hyeongjun?” he asked. You let out something between a laugh and a scoff. 

“Yes I liked Hyeongjun for three whole days. Weren’t you listening?” You said. 

“What did you like about him?” He questioned you.

“He’s kind, caring, cutely awkward, passionate about what he does, might not be the best with words, but you can still see how much he tries. Wait, why are you asking me this?” You stopped your rambling. 

“You said it was a silly three day crush, but it sounds like you legitimately liked him. For more than just picking up your pencil,” Seungmin notes. Did you actually like Hyeongjun? 

“I wasn’t in my right mind back then Seungmin,” you reminded him. Although you said more for yourself. To reason that your crush was just silly, not serious. 

“And you just magically stopped liking him after finals ended,” Seungmin voiced.

“Yes, I was no longer stressed out of my mind and my crush on Hyeongjun went away,” you informed. 

“Let me ask you something,” he says.

“You already have been,” you grumbled, rolling your eyes.

“When you had your crush on Hyeongjun, did you still feel stressed?” You took a moment to think before answering.

“Well yes I did, but when I would think about Hyeongjun and remembered how he told me I was doing well my stress went away for a bit,” you answered. Truthfully you only survived that exam season thanks to your crush on Hyeongjun. “Why are you asking me all this?” You questioned Seungmin.  

“Just wanted to know if it was really a silly three day crush, but honestly I don’t think it is,” he tells you.

“Ok maybe it wasn’t silly perhsay, but it was still only three days,” you defended. 

“Are you sure or was it just that you weren’t stressed anymore. You thought it was stress that made you like him, so once you weren’t stressed anymore you just convinced yourself your crush on Hyeongjun went away. Think about it, does a crush really just vanish overnight?” 

“I’m sure some peoples do,” you responded, denial beginning to set in. Certainly you didn’t have feelings for Hyeongjun. Even if you did that was years ago.

“Do they for you though?” Seungmin counter. 

“Do you want me to have a crush on Hyeongjun? Why are you pushing this so hard?” Your voice raised slightly. Seungmin sighed.

“Just figure out your feelings y/n,” he told you before walking out of the living room, presumably heading to his bedroom. You head up to your own bedroom. You laid down in an attempt to go to sleep, but now you were confused about your feelings. Stop! It was a silly three day crush that’s all, go to bed. 

“You’re doing well,” Hyeongjun told you as he patted your head. Just like that your heart skipped a beat. 

Your eyes shot open. You placed a hand on your now pounding heart. Why would you dream of that? The way your heart beated in your chest gave you the answer, because you like Hyeongjun and it's not a silly three day crush.

[the-quiet-blogger]

"The Giggle"

You know it's been a while since I've gone truly absolutely batshit over a Doctor Who episode, but here we are. Spoilers, obviously, under the cut.

First of all: UNIT

While I'm not a huge fan of The Doctor working for/with Earth-based Space police, I think it's a great idea to have the companions in a safe environment where they have a place to use all of the knowledge they've gathered during their journey throughout the starts. They get paid to continue doing what they love and while it does set things up to have future (LIVING) companions to make little cameos (or even an option for a spin-off series, I think that it's ultimately a good choice that RTD decided to let the companions have a space where they can live, grow, and continue to help.

One problem I have with this is that this is exactly where Martha and Mickey went at the end of 10's run -- and yet absolutely 0 (zero) mention of them or their whereabouts. They're the OG companions joining UNIT, so where TF are they??

Also this guy?? The Vlinx?? I both love and hated that we didn't get much explanation for this Guy in the Chair. Just "Oh you're helping?! Sure! Absolutely no reason to think that this new alien and the weird thing that's happening are related ANYWAYS--"

A bit like Panda from JJK where it's just "yeah and this is Vlinx, it works here, moving on,"

LOVE the jab about antivaxxers using the narrative of the Zeedex. It DOES help, but since you're asking the masses (who all wholeheartedly believe that they are right and everyone else is wrong) to put this on, it becomes a bit harder -- we saw how Kate reacted the moment she willfully put it on. Also return of our #Queen for her role as the News Anchor. Glad she has a name now.

Secondly: Donna <3 my absolute beloved. She has grown so fucking much. From yelling at the world because that's the only way to be heard to quietly asking The Doctor what is wrong. She has grown into her own woman, though of course still missing a lot of main action before the metacrisis was resolved (I could write a whole other deep dive about that episode too). When she noticed that the laughter was notes -- "The Giggle" hiding behind the screen, I was so proud of her. This is why the Doctor needs an "every day" human -- and Donna is so blunt that she won't hold back on her observations, though I have to wonder if the whole recorder conversation with Rose was how she came out. I hope so, that's just so chaotic.

I've seen some people argue that there is still some TimeLord in her because of how smart she's been in these last few episodes.

To that I say

"bitch, do you not remember the bees disappearing???"

Donna Noble is a genius and an idiot. Both can exist in the same person, in the same character, and that's exactly what they proved with the previous episode.

and SPEAKING OF her being a genius

She loves The Doctor, not romantically, but in a "platonic soulmate" kind of way that makes my heart full. When she realized that The Doctor never mentioned Mel or any of their adventures, she pointed it out. Not only that, she told The Doctor point-blank that there's always something that the Time Lord seems to be running from. There's never really been a moment when he's stopped and talked about any of the shit that he's been through and she can tell that it's starting to wear on him.

"Maybe that's why your old face came back. You're wearing yourself out"

and he immediately changes the subject and charges forward despite her telling him a harsh truth. She's travelling with him again, sure, but it was supposed to be some short little trip and I think the main reason she went with him in the first place (whether or not she will admit it) is because she saw her friend in crisis and wanted to be around to help -- to figure out what exactly he needed from her. With each episode, she's tried to guess why his old face came back, but nothing stuck.

The fucking puppet show.

Now, I feel like this is a great way to catch up new fans with any old Doctor trauma that they may have missed. It was also a way to shove it into The Doctor's face just how many of his loved ones that he was responsible for killing.

Now, before I hear any one say "but what about ______??"

Rory wasn't as close to The Doctor as Amy had been. "The first face this face saw" and while they did become closer later on, he would always have a special place in his heart for Amy. He watched her die for fucks sake.

Martha wasn't mentioned because as far as he knows, she's still alive and kicking ass. That's part of the reason he will up and abandon certain companions, so he doesn't get them hurt.

The Fam - left behind and alive. Remember 2/3 of the original Fam chose to step away from the TARDIS and Yaz was left before 13 could regenerate as she "needed to do this on [her] own". While, yes, I'm sure the Doctor feels guilty about leaving them behind, it's not nearly as bad as getting them killed.

Anyone else had either survived as far as The Doctor was aware, or hadn't been as close as those particular companions. That is why those 3 were chosen.

Now, back to the puppet show

Mentioning not only the lost companions but also the Flux

God I do not have the time to go into this half-assed recreation of a tragedy trying to be as big and bad as the Time War and Gallifrey. I feel like Chris Chibnall felt snubbed with a female presenting Doctor and gave us the most half-written mediocre bull shit he could have. RTD is already having to fix it with mentioning it several times and exactly what happened in the aftermath. Just looking up "Doctor Who Flux" you get so many results that all try to "explain" it.

If your audience has to look up how your writing makes sense, you aren't smarter or cleverer than the masses, it's just shit writing.

However,

While the actual Flux episodes and following regeneration made it hard to understand not only what happened, RTD breaks it down.

There was a terrible decision to be made. The universe was dying. The Doctor had to choose and a lot of deaths now lay on the Time Lord's shoulders.

BUT! That was also the only piece of The Doctor's trauma that couldn't be waved away with

Which is when The Doctor challenged the Toymaker to a game.

Back too 2023, we get...quite honestly one of the best scenes I've seen in New Who, only rivalled by Here Come the Drums with the Master dancing along. No, Rasputin doesn't come close to this cunty rendition of Spice Up Your Life.

Amazing, cunty, terrifying, entertianing, and fun.

"I think they're still falling" -- BITCH?!?!?! Ugh. I want more of the Toymaker. What a fun villain and Neil Patrick Harris knocked it out of the goddamn park. No matter what you thought about this episode, this dance routine was a highlight.

I also love the reference to when The Doctor had tried to reason with The Master, asking to go amongst the stars with fun filled adventures, taking on the burden of being their jailer and caretaker for the rest of eternity if it meant that humanity was safe.

Of course, we all know what comes after the Toymaker refuses the call to the stars.

I immediately started crying. Before The Doctor even started with those last words, I wasn't ready to say goodbye. We went from "I don't want to go" to "allons-y". From him dying alone in his TARDIS to being immediately surrounded by loved ones

"He's not dying alone"

And he didn't have to.

I choked on my crying so hard I almost died myself. I know David Tennant had always said that he thought The Doctor was asexual to some degree, but this is just ridiculous. /pos

But, when you consider the salt line at the edge of the universe and how that myth became a reality because of The Doctor's actions -- the fact that bigeneration was once a myth and now a reality suddenly opens up a whole door of possibilities for this upcoming season with Ncuti Gawa.

Now, The Doctor(s)

14 was consistently surprised in their actions, their off-the-hand comments. Something that 10 always struggled with was saying how much people meant to them.

And one thing about 14, they are filled with love. They openly say "I love ____" whereas 10 never did.

"Rose Tyler, I--"

Having to leave those he loved behind, never wanting to admit when he cared more than he did. As long as he spun and ran away from his feelings, they could never catch up to him. Right?

14 is different, always saying "I'm here", "You're okay" and slinging around the word "love" as if they would never grow tired of it. 14, obviously, is The Doctor after Amy, Clara, Billie, and the Fam. After avoiding a family with the Ponds, losing Clara after realizing they were toxic for her, a friend who never expected anything more from them, and Yaz's fam who only wanted to be a safe space for them to be able to turn to. Yaz, the last companion that was pushed away by The Doctor, had loved them and told them so and gotten nothing in return.

And there were so many different ways that 14 showed this love. So many hugs!! So many reassurances!! And so much love that The Doctor was sharing amongst everyone who could hear them -- and yet not a drop of that love or compassion showed inwards.

I am so emotional about this hug, it's not even funny. Literally healing their younger self. The love, the understanding, the "I'm here" -- finally someone who understands literally everything 14 has gone through. The acceptance of the hug (THE TUCK INTO THE NECK?!?!?FSKFBWILDNLADN) I fell to my knees!!!!! SOBBING!!!!!!!!

BUT!!! Not only is 15 born on the battlefield, but also born surrounded by love and fun. Pants or not, 15 is ready to save the world and make it a good time for those around them. Self assured, fun, smiling, and loving-- 15 jumps into the world with a confused hug and love for their past & current self. After years of therapy, I keep hearing some of the same phrases along the lines of "you have to look to your past/younger self and let them know that it's okay, that they shouldn't have had to go through all of that alone" and this was exactly that, only on a Time Lord scale.

Now, personally, I had fun watching the game of catch with the Toymaker after 15 was introduced. I thought it was a fun way to share the spotlight with Gawa as the 15th Doctor and let the audience know some hints as to what we have to look forward to.

The terms of endearment melted my little heart. I'm always a sucker for a good nickname, both in real life and in fiction and 15 was full of them.

"Honey, sweetie, pumpkin pie, you are too traumatized to be flying the TARDIS right now, get OUT and take a NAP"

That was basically what was said, right?

And then this...home. The Doctor having a family. This is quite honestly the perfect, happiest ending that The Doctor wearing this particular face could have had. All those years running away, fighting hard, and keeping on a strong face, and this is what that was for. All that running and avoiding, and love for everyone else but themself and now they finally can take a break and focus on taking time to say "what the hell". Maybe go to therapy. There's so much fic potential for this as well, the kinds of companions they could run into casually or little every day struggles that are literally alien to them.

I've seen a lot of posts upset that this plot point seemed to be circling around two points: 1) this a repeat of the metacrisis ending and 2) not the first time The Doctor had domestic bliss.

To that, I say:

the metacrisis Doctor was half human and would be able to grow old with Rose in that parallel universe. It was also the traumatic ending of the DoctorDonna (or so we thought) and on that beach, the Doctor, the Time Lord Doctor, still couldn't say how much Rose meant to him. He also said that living life, day after day, was the one thing that he could never have.

2. On Tranzalore, The Doctor was not resting. He was taking care of the tear in the universe and defending it from the monsters that would constantly be on the attack. Every day was a fight. And when he spent those 24 years with River Song, he knew that this was the last time they would meet before her end. How can you relax when you know that these are the last moments you're going to have with your loved one. You watched them die and this is the best that you can do with them in their last days, knowing that you can't stop death from coming.

And there is something so incredibly healing about The Doctor allowing themselves to stay here, with only occasional trips to the Moon with their favorite niece. and the possibility of them perhaps becoming a Curator -- who knows!!

And now we have Ncuti Gawa's 15th Doctor to look forward to and all of time and space!! I am so incredibly excited to see where this takes us on Christmas.

[skiesinblue]

Dropping thoughts

It’s been way too long since I last wrote down my thoughts. Not just thoughts, actually—everything that's been happening in my life. 2024 is almost at its end, and let me tell you, what a ride this year has been. Life-changing, chaotic, and honestly, a little overwhelming.

Let’s rewind to the start of the year. The first two months were pretty uneventful because, surprise, surprise, my phone was taken away during my 12th boards. Typical Indian parent behavior, right? The classic “no distractions = better focus” logic. Did it work? Haha, let’s just say old habits die hard. But somehow, I survived. By March, I was living my best “post-board exams” life—jumping around, learning new things, and soaking in the freedom of finally being 18. The icing on the cake? A family trip to Kerala! The backwaters, the food, the laughter—I still feel the warmth of those memories. Its the memories I’ll cherish forever.

Then came May, aka the results month. The dreaded 12th board results came out earlier than expected, and let’s just say they weren’t exactly brag-worthy. I’m not spilling numbers here, but yeah, it was a blow. What followed was a solid 15 days of sulking and frantically hunting for colleges that would take me. Rejections came in like uninvited guests, starting with NMIMS, which outright told me I wasn’t shortlisted. Brutal, right? Cue the mini existential crisis where I kept thinking, “What if I had just studied a little harder?”

But then, something shifted. I realized I hadn’t really done much in life to make my mom proud. This time, I wanted to turn things around—not for anyone else, but for myself. I started manifesting hard, like really hard. And guess what? On June 15th, the same NMIMS that rejected me came knocking again, offering me a spot through counseling. I tried not to get too excited—it was just counseling, after all—but deep down, I was hopeful. Fast forward to a lot of effort, prayers, and paperwork, and I got in! The same college that had rejected me was now welcoming me as a student. Talk about a plot twist, right?

By this point, I had the next six months of my life all mapped out. I was super excited to start college, but the moment I set foot there, reality hit me like a truck. Suddenly, I was surrounded by so many people, and I felt like I was fighting this battle of making friends all on my own. See, I’m a social introvert—it takes me time to open up, but once I do, I’m all in. Luckily, hostel life forced me out of my shell. My first roommate became my friend of the same course, and through her, I found my little circle of amazing people; but oh well, i must admit that a few are still annoying!

Hostel life has its charm, though. Late-night Maggi runs, binge-watching movies, talking shit about people, getting hookup gossips, and those deep, soul-baring conversations where we see each other at our absolute worst—it’s raw, messy, and oddly comforting. We’re all just trying to figure life out, you know?

But it hasn’t been all sunshine and roses. Adjusting to this new environment has been tough. I miss my mom. I miss the old me—the girl who would fill pages of her diary with poems, stories, and random creative bursts. I miss the way I used to live so freely, without overthinking. College is fun, sure, but there’s this constant, underlying loneliness. Back home, I had my friends—my constants. Here, I’m still figuring things out, and it’s exhausting. Sometimes, I just want to hit the pause button and go home to recharge.

Oh, and classes? They’re a rollercoaster. Some faculty members are amazing; others… not so much. Let’s just say I’ve had my moments where I’ve wanted to smash a chalkboard over their heads. And don’t even get me started on the students who come to class just to be a nuisance. Like, if you’re not here to study, at least don’t make it harder for the rest of us.

But amidst all this chaos, I’ve found some genuinely good people. Without them, I’d probably be stuck with a bunch of immature kids pretending to be “cool.” So, yeah, college life is an experience, but sometimes, I can’t help but feel like I’ve lost that spark I used to have. I look back at the girl I was and wonder where she went—the girl who was so unapologetically herself, who loved hanging out with friends, and who lived every moment to the fullest.

It’s not easy starting over in a new environment, far from family and familiarity. But here’s the thing—I’m determined to find my way back to that girl. I’ve decided that 2025 is going to be my year. I’m going to take bigger, bolder steps. I want to rediscover myself, let go of the hesitation, and embrace life with open arms.

So, here’s to writing more, feeling more, and living more. It feels good to let all this out. Till next time.

Toddles!