#oh i might actually cry
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@hypnodazed in the notes thank you for telling me where to find these articles, hope nobody minds me adding them on here - thought to do so, because not everyone can find/view them -
29th March 1937 - The Daily Mirror, page 5
ID: newspaper article reading
Girl Becomes Man
Barmaid Ellen Now Barman Alan
From our special correspondent
Crewe, Sunday
After living sixteen years as a girl, Ellen Caldwell, of Martin Street, Crewe, has grown to manhood - and become Alan. At birth Ellen was registered as a girl, attended St Mary's Roman Catholic School and later worked on a milk round, in a bakery, in a wire works and as a barmaid.
Last December Ellen found herself growing a beard, became worried, consulted a doctor. An operation was performed at the Manchester Royal Infirmary, and Ellen, no longer a girl, changed her name.
I met Alan at the Cheese Hall Hotel, Crewe, working as a barman where a short time ago he was a barmaid.
(bold, large print) "I'm glad it's over."
"I'm glad it is all over," said Alan, "and I know just what I am. I shall stay on at the hotel.
When I was a girl, I used to play football, but I have given that up now, although I shall go on playing cricket."
(bold) "As soon as Alan knew he was a boy he wanted to come navvying with me, but I would not allow that," his father told me.
(bold) Stalwart ex-soldier Harold, Alan's brother, said, "Even as a girl he was stronger than I and could always manage me in a tussle."
Mr Clark told me: "As a girl Alan was one of the best servants I ever had."
/End ID.
I hope everyone disappointed with the Daily Post's continual misgendering is glad to see that not every newspaper or reporter is the same, tho I would say, in the kindest possible way, and as a transman myself, you must remember that this is 87 years ago, and we cannot hold people then to our modern standards.
"Navvying" is, so far as I know, digging canals and things like that, heavy manual work.
Also, the Cheese Hall Hotel is the same place Sylvia worked as a barmaid in 1939 - not definitive, until we get the actual record back (I ordered it yesterday), but it adds credence to that that marriage is in fact our same Allen, rather than someone with the same name.
You could take the above as Allen being intersex, but it is true (as I think hypnodazed has said in a reply) that sometimes people lied to get the medical attention they needed, so as ever we can't know for sure. Which is frustrating to say, I suppose, and frustrating to hear, I imagine, but there's nothing to be done about it.
And, on the back page of the same issue -
ID: Ellen Becomes Man
(a photograph of two men walking down the street wearing suits)
After living as a girl for sixteen years, Ellen Caldwell, of Crewe, has had an operation and become Alan.
You see her - or rather, him (wearing a light tie) - in this picture, taken as he was out walking with his brother Harold. See story on page 5. /End ID.
In the olden days they did things so sensibly. Page 8 of The Liverpool Daily Post, 29 March 1937
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Prompt 169
Danny is from a world where everyone has wings, even if most have long since lost the ability to fly. Something about loading and aspect ratio, wings being too small, body too heavy, now mostly used as display, whatever.
It doesn’t matter even if he had blueprints from when he was like six of a jetpack to help fly. It won’t work anyway and hey, he has his ghost form! Which uh, might be perhaps, affecting his wings which were maybe sort of scorched black and practically down to the bone thanks to the accident.
It doesn’t matter, he swears. Though he’s admittedly relieved to see the new feathers growing in are different from Dan’s angry sunset. Even if they’re not even supposed to be able to grow back. Alright, this is fine, no one is going to notice! It’s not like everyone knows about the poor Fenton kid whose wings were absolutely destroyed thanks to an accident! It’s fine.
He’s not flying in a half-panic towards the Far Frozen while crying because his wings are coming back and he’s so scared. He didn’t panic and instantly fled the moment Jazz pointed them out while changing the bandages.
He definitely didn’t trip over something while wiping away said tears and blacking out from all the stress and all of his problems that he definitely mentioned to someone and isn’t keeping a secret. Definitely.
Hawkwoman and Hawkman would like everyone to know that neither of them were expecting a very small child to be spat out of the villain of that week’s machine that should definitely not be a portal. A very small child, maybe nine or ten, with a multitude of concerning wounds both old and fresh. Which isn’t even beginning to touch on the wings.
Feathered, like baby down despite the gnarled scars, unlike their own metallic, with the beginning of tiny specklings like stars amidst the darker fuzz peeking from the wounded flesh.
Who?! Who dared?! It’s (at least to the forever reincarnating duo) a literal baby! They still have down! Tiny baby fuzz! Was it the portal?! Oh this villain is going to taste their maces for causing this if that’s the case!
The rest of the Justice League would honestly like to know what just happened and are honestly unsure on if they should stop the two…
#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompts#wing au#Shayera & Carter: THAT IS A BABY#Danny who is still very distressed when he wakes up: I don’t know what’s going on & might start crying at any moment#He got brought to the Watchtower#Y’know what make it where his world is similar to a Flashpoint timeline & that’s why JL never came#He has no idea why he’s tiny and just wanted to go to one of his caretakers#The League is trying to figure out how to get this kid home but also subtly asking how his home life is#Danny: Oh I guess my bio-parent’s house is dangerous but my caretaker’s homes are really cool and safe!#The JL now think this child is in foster care of some sort in his world#Danny does nothing to dissuade this assumption#Honestly it’s really freaky for him to see people without wings & maybe clings to Hawkwoman & Hawkman#Look their wings might be metallic but at least they have them & he can actually recognize their body language#How can anyone deal with not being able to express with wings?!#Even if his were completely scorched from the Accident he could still move them and such!
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Jorge: “I plan to release The Wisdom Saga before the end of the year, maybe in a few mon—”
Also Jorge:
#ABSOLUTE MADLAD#JORGE WE LITERALLY JUST HAD THUNDER SAGA LET US BREATHE#JORGE PLS#JORGE WHEN WE CATCH YOU JORGE#OH MY GOSJFNWKFISJFN#MICO AS TELEMACHUS#AND ARGOS‼️‼️🐶🔥❤️🔥🦅‼️‼️🔥🦅❤️🦅🔥‼️❤️🦅🔥‼️❤️🦅🔥‼️#I MIGHT ACTUALLY CRY WHEN IT COMES OUT HOAMGJSIGNWKR#GOD GAMES GOD GAMES GOD GAMES#epic#epic the musical#epic: the musical#epic: the wisdom saga#wisdom saga#the wisdom saga#jorge rivera herrans#the odyssey#odysseus#telemachus#odypen#penelope of ithaca
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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last night i got home kind of tipsy and very much in tears and my mother told me the force you exert to keep someone in your life is proportional to the force with which they will leave your life. if you have to fight tooth and claw to keep them, their leaving will be just as hard, just as harsh, and just as definite.
#she said it like a law. its just momentum.#also she told me to get a therapist and start archery ASAP bc i need to get it together#and also she said even granting that this person u were in love w was So Special . as in hot motorcycle-riding iranian masc lesbian in ldn#they arent the only one on earth and that once i start my proper adult life outside of studies etc etc i will probably no longer live in th#UK. she said most non straight iranians u would like have left the country anyway . where do you think they went? theyre out there#and also she asked me to imagine how many hot gay iranians there may be in italy or amsterdam or smth and i was like ok points 😭 maybe#ur right. anyway i was having a feeling of dread bc crying into the arms of ur strict asian mother while buzzed usually results in#death chaos destruction etc in the next few days but actually i think maybe she has genuinely changed as a person and the fear is#unwarranted#anyway i need to eat breakfast and study w the date person i met yesterday#they are so nice ??? genuinely so so sweet i dont feel attracted to them at all omg i genuinely think i have a thing for hot evil ppl 😭#but we could b besties . theyre a lot more romantic than the ex situationship person too like generally . ugh they should be perfect but#alas it appears i am shallow as fuck or potentially a lesbian actually#OH THEY MIGHT ALSO BE POTENTIALLY A LESBIAN BTW#i think i just tend to not date cis ppl entirely by accident#....feel free to rb if u want btw sorry for the rant
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THE TOMORROW WITH YOU
#xenoblade chronicles 2#nia#rex#pyra#mythra#sniffles... xenoblabde cfdkjfhrobnicle..2...#BWAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH#actually paid attention to composition this time are u proud of me. [visibly in tears for unrelated reasons]#'xc2 isnt a game you normally cry about' not true! xenoblade chronicle 2 is proof that love is real#my drawing#also pay no attention to how fast im playing theis series i have no time management skills#i literally just wanted to doodle something and then i was like oh this might be good. [it ends up like this]
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"but you see......this is where my story ends."
"then, let's start it―― right now! your next story!"
as if you're opening a present every second.
as if i'm searching for a star that's still unknown to anyone. 🎪
#mellohi draws stuff#emu otori#project sekai#prsk#pjsk#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#otori emu#emu ootori#ootori emu#our happy ending#kirapipi kirapika#who up happying they ending (it is tomorrow)#are you ready to DIE wonderlands x showtime#kirapipi kirapika actually means so so much to me to say it's the best would be an understatement it's perfect this event is perfect#oh my god oh my god#THEY COMISSIONED NYANYANNYA OF NAMARI HIME FAME TO MAKE A SONG FOR EMU OTORI#LIKE WHAT. WHAT. COLOPAL ARE YOU STUPID.#he literally tuned meiko for both versions of the song you can tell it's the exact same#i was NOT expecting vocaloid6 ohh my god nyanyannya you crazy son of a bitch#also kirapipi kirapika came out on my birthday like waow thank you colopal for the birthday present what if i gave myself a lobotomy#I HATE OUR HAPPY ENDING I HOPE WONDERLANDS X SHOWTIME EXPLODE#sorry the demons BUT LIKE#UEUEUEUEUEUEU#ue ue ue (sound of crying)#feels bad that i can't spend my entire 60k crystals on this event since i'm only doing like one maybe two pulls#but third anniversary is around the corner and i need a failsafe for tsukasa's card#like if i save up between their releases and get lucky with it then maybe i can get most tsukasa cards in game#this might end horribly but there's like two-three months between each so if i really put my mind to it i can achieve greatness#reruns might throw me off but it's fiiine so long as i get like knightkasa and lilykasa
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"Yeah.
"You're braver than you think."
#it 2019#richie tozier#the way he looks at eddie oh my god i might actually cry#reddie#(< unashamed)#also as i expect this to do well im gonna take the opportunity to remind you to send me any asks or literally anything for me to answer once#ive finished chapter 2!! (literally spam me with headcannons#questions#anything you want :))
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who up happying they new year rn
#1000 words takes 10 thousand years to write#ppl who write fast what are your tricks? if you tell me don't edit as you go i'll actually cry.#i know it's the answer but i don't like it#give me 100 perfect words then i lose the will to write or give me death#i'm pushing tho. im doine my best.#i wanna get up to like 6k? for this opening scene? 10 might be better#but i write like 100 words a day at best#and i don't write every day#i think that's the problem maybe#i'm so much better at stream of consciousnesss mannnn#writing is hard#anyway. talk to me if you want.#i solved one (1) problem and now i feel like i'm done writing for the day#lmao like i'm hearing myself i really am#mmmm if ur nice to me i'll post/send u an excerpt#i like sharing bc i like affirmation#even though i think it would be better to keep it to myself while i'm working on it#oh well i like praise too much#at me if you wanna feed my love and affection addictions <3
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guys i am visiting my sister in the uk in january and she just bought us the tickets to see hadestown on west end!!!
#i genuinely can't stop crying my head is going to fucking explode#this can't be real#she hates musicals but i told her about hadestown some time ago because she used to love greek mythology#and she said she might actually want to see this one#i can't stop crying what the fuck oh my god what is happening i just shehru3u4j4j4n#the last time i cried this much was after buying clancy tour tickets#i'm not even kidding you don't wanna see my red face right now#😭😭#I'M SO HAPPY I CAN'T EVEN OH MY GOD#i say whatever and whatever that i want*
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WHAT THE FUCK DID AUSTEN DO TO FUCKING GET HOMESICK AT SPACE CAMP AND ITS NO A SIDE EFFECT OF THE COCAINE LIKE IM HAPPY FOR YALL BUT WHAT THE FUCK MAN
#THE WAY I WOULD HAVE ACTUALLY SOBBED AND I NEVER CRY IN PUBLIC#YEAH PAVLOVE WAS GREAT AND ALL BUT THIS TAKES THE MOTHER FUCKING CAKE#IM FUCKING J E A L O U S#OH MY GOD#PATRICK WHAT THE ACTUAL FLIPPING FLYING FLAUNDERING FUCK#can you guys tell I’m having a moment#patrick stump when I catch you patrick stump when I catch you patrick stump when I catch you patrick stump when I catch you#fall out boy#fob#patrick stump#pete wentz#andy hurley#joe trohman#so (much) for stardust#so (much) for 2ourdust#2ourdust#it’s not a side effect of the cocaine I’m thinking it might be love#my heart will always be the b-side of my tongue
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sometimes i think about the way sunday is 100% fine with doing fucked up things as long as he thinks the people he’s doing those things to deserve them
#thinking out loud 🏵️#honkai star rail#listen i might cry and sob over sunday whenever i think abt him#but he is BRUTAL#like look at what my guy did to aventurine 😭#straight up said ur dying now have fun#and he didnt feel ANY remorse because in his eyes aven was the villain#aven was a threat to penacony#and so in his mind his actions were justified#its the same w gallagher#sunday is an asshole to him because gallagher killed his sister (and he doesnt know that shes actually fine)#im telling you if gallagher didnt stab sunday when he did#sunday wouldve started pulling out his whole oh triple faced soul thing#and he wouldve been a lot worse to gallagher than to aven#would it have worked? no idea bc gallagher. isnt exactly real#but who knows#sunday is kind and empathetic no doubt about it#but like an angel he is kind to the weak and ruthless to the wicked#and i LOVE that about him#he’ll be a decent person but the second he has any reason to believe that youre a threat#its free real estate#i have a lot of thoughts on sunday#maybe one day ill share my perspective on how stellaron hunter sunday could work from a narrative standpoint#but today is not that day
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Slamming my head against the wall god fucking DAMMIT I'm so in love with Sanlu I am GOING to explode.
#One Piece#Sanlu#Sanji#Luffy#IDK WHAT IT IS!! IDK!!!!#Still love Zolu with all my heart but oh my GOD Sanlu. They are everything.#I might be reading too many fics bc it really feels like a fanon thing that Sanji's actually like#Really insecure and has low self-esteem#OR MAYBE THAT'S CANON IDK!!#But hnghhh Luffy being the one to be like. Hey I like you for you and not for your past#And I love everything about you and that's a FACT and not a lie and I want to keep you with me forever#AND I WILL NEVER REPLACE YOU WITH ANYBODY ELSE. YOU ARE MY COOK AND I DON'T EVER WANT ANOTHER#And Sanji craving affection and validation and praise SO bad that whenever Luffy gives it to him he wants to cry#BASHES MY HEAD INTO A TABLE AUUGHGHGHG SHUT UP!!!!!#MAYBE THAT'S FANON SANLU BUT YOU KNOW WHAT. I DON'T CARE IT'S SO GOOD#SLURPS THAT SHIT UP#Sanji especially feeling that he's not worthy enough for Luffy and thinking it'd be impossible to have him#So when Luffy actually does reciprocate he's in SHOCK bc how. How could Luffy pick HIM of all people#Cut to Sanji feeling like the LUCKIEST motherfucker on the planet bc he gets to have Luffy. SCORE.#Luffy blowing away all of his insecurities and anxieties and worry just by being himself and being so#STUPIDLY in love with him is just#HOLLERS AND SMACKS THE TABLE REPEATEDLY#ALSO IT DOESN'T HELP THAT OPLA MADE IT SO BLATANTLY OBVIOUS TOO#Luffy complimented his cooking one (1) time#And Sanji was like okay yup packing my bags for the Merry as we speak#When he smiles and looks a little flustered at Luffy's attention.#Oh my fucking god. Strangling myself.#THEY ARE EVERYTHING!!!#Shima speaks
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My favourite part of The Atonement cutscene that almost no one mentions is when John tells the newly awoken Deputy to hold still, so that he can tattoo them properly, they DO AS HE SAYS! They actually LET GO of him and stay perfectly still. They don't struggle AT ALL, don't look around or away from John, they don't need a cultist to hold them down or to point a gun at them in an unspoken threat to behave, they just do what John asks them without further prompting or threats. I guess the Deputy immediately accepts that they're getting a tattoo and just wants it to look good XD Am I the only one losing my mind over this??
To be fair, there is an armed cultist holding their left shoulder down (as you can see here or here) but they could still move if they wanted to, especially considering how strong they are. But yeah, instead, they let go of John’s arm and just... accept their fate.
I suppose they realized it was too late because John was nearly done and that struggling while you’re being tattooed is never a good idea anyway :’)
#how it went (probably):#deputy: 'meh. might as well let him finish now...'#john: 'omg it’s working? they’re actually listening?!'#far cry 5#john seed#the deputy#also I like how he’s literally sitting on them but not at all on nick#even though HE struggled so much he had to be held down by two people#oh john...
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Someone who constantly embarks on ship wars and fandom wank... doesn't sound too mentally stable. It's sad, really.
Dedicating all that energy and free time to arguing about fictional characters and their relationships, instead of channeling it into something more relaxing or creative, sounds destructive.
Seek help, please. Before it devours you completely.
#ship wars#fandom wank#fandom discourse#i posted one of my gaming gifs on twt yesterday#where my favorite character has been modded over another#the tweet of mine blew up overnight and has already gotten more engagement there than here (unsurprisingly)#and someone came to my replies with a crying emoji that it's not really that character#honestly. you don't say. there's a mod hastag. but it's not really that. i ignored them for now because the reply wasn't even that bad but#the scary thing is: i actually recognized their username#and once i did my blood nearly froze#lately i've seen this person twt a lot. constantly in other people's tweets and bothering everyone#hating on my favorite characters and relationships and trying to 'debunk' some canon interactions between characters#and they don't even have that many followers on twt (a little over 1k) but they've been in everyone's tweets in that fandom lately#so i checked their acc after that reply and a lot of their recent tweets were about that war too#and i was like. oh my god. they found me#bitch i'm famous? lmao#anyway i might just ignore them from now on. maybe even block them if push comes to shove#they didn't say anything that bad to me (for now) but this could become a problem later and i do not have the energy for it#like seriously. if this is all you do in your spare time. it's not healthy#i should know lmao
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currently losing my mind rn waboku posted art of a bunch of his characters in suits and. tokyo ghetto girl and seki
look at them .
#oh my goddddd#screaming crying throwing up#it feels like literal YEARS since tokyo ghetto was last mentioned#i didnt post the whole image but taikutsu looks rlly cool too#actually taikutsu might just be the most gender envy eve character ever#i just felt like saying that#eve utaite#tokyo ghetto#seki otogiri#not art
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