#oh i mean listen not watch of course... yes we cannot watch this which i think is a bit of a tragedy

[d6volution]

Corporeal

Caine/Fem!Reader

caine wants to learn more about humans, so why not become one himself? surely, these new waves of emotions and new desires won't become an issue.

tags: human!caine unresolved feelings, sexual tension, lingerie, making out, pining until the end, explicit sexual content, caine is pussy drunk.

minors dni.

Chapter Three.

previous chapter.

Well, he kept his word. You two did meet the next day, and the day after that. You told him whatever bits and pieces of your time as a human that you could remember. He seemed to listen.. but also seemed a little out of touch... like his mind was elsewhere. Whenever you brought it up, he simply put on his usual act.

"Oh, not to worry dear! I am beginning to understand a bit more about how.. caring humans can be, so if you're worried don't be! I am perfectly fine! In fact, better than ever. I have certainly learned a lot from you." He said, almost sounding impressed.

"I'm glad I could help, Caine." You couldn't help but smile at the praise he was giving you.

Your smile caused him to look away, those funny feelings returning.

"My, my look at the time!" He was glancing at his wrist, which was adorned by the wacky watch.

"Oh, already..?" You didn't realize just how fast time passed when you two were together, "Same time tomorrow then?" You said, hopeful.

"It would seem so," He studied your expression. "Hmm, I can't help but notice that you seem a little ..disappointed." He hope he correctly evaluated your emotions.

"No, I mean— a ... little." You wanted to deny this observation but he could see through you, so it would be no use.

"Worry not my dear! I'll always be around of course, though I've come to realize it is normal to miss people you spend a lot of time aro— mmf?!" Your hands yanked at his collar before he could try and put anymore distance between you, your lips meeting. He talked too much.

Couldn't he feel the tension that was growing between you two? It was palpable in the air. Maybe he just needed a little push.. your tongue even brushed against his closed lips.

You were nervous, but maybe, after getting closer to him.. it was easier, or maybe you were just desperate and simply losing your mind in this digital world.

Your lips were soft and inviting, the heat from your mouth was diving him crazy. He couldn't think.

Caine went stiff, he wanted badly to kiss you back. Squeeze your hips and pull your closer but .. he couldn't. Surely these feelings of yours were simply because you took a familiar form of a human.

They couldn't really be for him right?

His hands slowly lowering onto your shoulders and gripped them gently, pushing you away. "W.. Well, y/n what a very.. bold act of affection!" He was beet red now, almost like he was short circuiting. "U‐Unfortunately you're aware I cannot return these... feelings, yes? It would be.. dangerous."

You were at a lost of words, you acted without thinking and now he was looking at you with pity in his eyes, "I.. sorry, I don't know what I was thinking— .." You took a few steps back. But your lips were still tingling.

"N-No, need to apologize!" He tugged at his collar to let off some steam and without another word he wrapped an arm around your waist and within a blink of an eye you were both in front of your room door.

"There we are! Now go and rest your pretty little head, I.. will be back at a later hour to check on you, how's that sound?" It was an excuse. He wanted to see you again after this. Just.. to confirm a few things after you've settled down from these heightened emotions.

You nodded, still suffering from embarrassment of your feelings and advancements in general being denied. Yet you weren't completely unaware.. you could see it in his eye too, the stuttering and fidgeting it was as if he were holding himself back.

Maybe.. he just needed another little push.

"This.. this certainly isn't right, far from family friendly.. far from appropriate." He was pacing back and fourth inside of his "room." "I could risk abstracting if this gets too far! .. Well, maybe not. Iam the showrunner here.."

Bubble emerged from his hat unannounced, "This all apart of the human experience Caine! Why not give her all the love you're legally allowed to give..?"

POP.

That mischievous bubble certainly was not helping. The thought, even coming from bubbles silly mouth made his cheeks dust with a light pink. Everytime he thought about you in such a way he could feel a piece of his resolve breaking off.

He needed to end this, this experiment had provided him with plenty of knowledge but, if continued to play human it would only lead him into heaps of trouble that he was certain of. Before he changed back... he did promise to check in on you.

He arrived at your door, and hesitated to knock. Attempting to groom himself a little beforehand. He inhaled, then knocked.

"Caine..?" You called out from the other side of the door.

"Yes, that's me!"

"C.. Come in." Your voice was muffled by the door, but he heard you clearly and opened it up, stepping inside his eyes immediately got wide. He slammed the door behind him so no one else could see what he was seeing.

You lying in bed with silky fabric hardly covering your body, your skin on display. Your expression vulnerable, yet desperate. Caine felt like he was going to glitch out of existence.

"Y/N! You.. someone else could have seen you like this and it's hardly appropriate! You are aware this show is supposed to be for all ages." He said but his fists clenched and he could feel his pants getting tight.

Not good.

"Can't we forget about all that for one night Caine..? I've.. seen how you look at me.. even earlier, you wanted to kiss me back right?" Your voice was sultry as it was desperate, you crawled towards the end of the bed and the silky fabric was sliding off of your body.

He swallowed and rushed over, attempting to fix it. "W-Woah there!" You took this chance to cup his growing erection.

"Is this family friendly... Caine..?"

The feeling of your small hand caressing his straining dick was enough. It throbbed in his pants and he pushed you onto the bed. Straddling you, his breathing had grew heavy.

"It seems I've been caught red handed, I am supposed to be gentleman like my dear, " His eyes roamed along your half naked body.

"But, you are making it quite difficult. I suppose, as my human test bunny your are willing to take responsibility?" He sounded as desperate as you looked now.

"O.. Of course, Caine.." Your squirmed under his gaze, and he slowly pushed aside the silk lingerie that was comcealing your nipples. His erection was pressed against your thigh and he was unknowingly grinding against your soft skin.

"Just.. for today, I'll indulge in your i.. inappropriate behavior, dear y/n." He swallowed.

"Take them off Caine.." You mutteted and tugged at his the waistline of his pants.

"Oh, no no my dear. After all this trouble you caused I think you deserve a little punishment!" He said with a grin, his resolve was gone. Completely, whatever code was inside of him urging him to obey the rules was temporarily disabled.

"Now, as lovely as that silk looks on you would you mind taking it off?" His voice fell at the end of his sentence. He planned on having you completely in the nude while he stayed fully dressed.

You sat up and he scoots back on the bed, allowing you to stripped in front of him.

He couldn't help it, his dick was straining violently against his pants.. he removed himself from his pants, and started to stroke himself. "Do forgive me dear, I've always said you make my body act so strangely and this is no exception."

You stared at the heavy cock in between his thighs, you could feel the slick between your legs.

"Caine.." Your eyes finally met his, "Please touch me.."

"Well, if you ask so nicely how can I say no?" He grins and climbs atop you again, this time quickly closing the distance between you both and pressing his lips against yours. It was to make up for earlier.

Your body instinctively arched towards his, your hips shifting to feel his cock brush against your bare cunt. You were practically humping at his shaft like a dog in heat. He groaned into your mouth and returned the movement. Both of your sexes rubbed against each other as you made out, breathlessly moaning in between the kiss.

"Feels good.. more Caine.." You whined, your arms locked around his neck and holding him close to you. He smelled like the most expensive cologne mixed with his natrual musk. It was simply intoxicating.

He didn't say anything, his eyes swirling with lust as he lined up his tip with your slick entrance. After slipping a few times he finally plunged inside.

His mind went blank with pleasure and he hardly gave you time to adjust to his size, his hips began to move. "C.. Caine..! hh.. fuck..!" You cursed, and made a not that it wasn't censored.. maybe you really had broken the ringmaster. In one sense.

Your nails dug into his back and as he slammed into your tight cunt, balls slapping against your ass as he fucked you like his very life depended on it.

Your moans didn't go unoticed, your whimpers and whines only fueled his need to fuck you harder. Faster, the bed was rocking beneath you as he seemed to loose all sense of himself while buried inside of you.

He nudged at that spongey spot in your cunt and you saw stars, your back arched and toes curled. Caine was silently taking note of how tight you got all of the sudden.

"H.. How interesting.. it seems like I have much more to learn about you my dear, like how much you tighten around me when I.." He slammed against that spot again, and again. Over and over, til you were in tears.

"C.. Caine..please.. gonna c-cum.. !" You managed to sputter out, but he was way ahead of you. He planned on having you cum together.

"Nngh .. that's .. the plan darling.." He grunts and your body suddenly began to spasm, cunt convulsing and gripping his shaft vicely. His own hips sputtered to a stop as he spilled into you without thinking. The relief washing over his body as numbness washed over your own.

You stared at the ceiling coming down from your high. Caine thrusted a few more times, before pulling out.

"My, my.. what a cruel creator I must have to hide such pleasures from me.. are you alright, y/n? I didn't seem to be completely myself there." He pushed some hair from your face and you nodded grabbing his hand and nuzzling it.

His face was hot again, just as this little display of affection.

"I suppose being human for a little while longer couldn't hurt."

[drpoisonoaky]

Are they really your friends if they haven’t threatened your partner? Yes they are, but where’s the fun in that.

This is the Gaang threatening Azula for “Katara’s sake”.

— Sokka

Sokka: Katara out!

Katara, raising an eyebrow: Excuse me?

Sokka: Can you please get out so I can speak with Azula?

Katara: Whatever you want to say to her I’m sure I can be in here.

Sokka: No. And don’t ask.

Katara:

Sokka: Pretty please?

Azula: I’m honestly intrigued.

Katara: Ugh. Fine.

Sokka: Thanks sister. Luv ya.

*Katara out of the picture*

Sokka: Listen up snooty princess. *Put his boomerang on the table*. I’m here to talk about how I will punish you if you hurt my sister in any kind of way.

Azula: Sure, I’m all ears.

Sokka: Wait what?

Azula: But I must advise you I experienced a lot of forms of torture already. Father used to say “It’s war Azula, they will do this to you if you’re weak and they catch you. It’s for you own good”

Azula: So what do you have in mind? Father favored the traditional practices of the Earth Nation.

Sokka: I- Damn. Spirits.

Azula: Look I never would hurt your sister on purpose. Ever. You have my word and honor.

Sokka: I’m going to hug you. So be ready. Here I go.

Azula: This is certainly a technique that my father didn’t use.

Sokka: NOW.

— Suki

Suki: Let’s talk.

Azula: Last time I checked you weren’t my friend in the kyoshi warriors. Did something happen to Ty lee?

Suki: I want to talk to you as Katara’s friend.

Azula: Ugh.

Suki: Listen asshole If you consider for a fraction of sec-

Azula: I am not going to hurt her on purpose. I’m a bitch. I know. I’m mean. Believe I know. But-

Azula: Wait why am I explaining anything to you?

Suki: Because I’m going to kill you if you don’t treat her as she deserves?

Azula: She’d do it first, don’t you think?

Suki: ..Well yeah, but it’s mandatory. They give Sokka the warning talk when we started dating.

Azula: They give it to Sokka and not you?

Suki: In Katara’s words “You could do way better than him so we’re going to remind him that”

— Toph

Toph: Princess purple platypus.

Azula: Living creature who doesn’t know what a bath is.

Toph: I’m here to give you a talk captain firebitch.

Azula: About how you are going to murder me if I lost my mind again and hurt my girlfriend on purpose?

Toph: Yeah I guess.

Azula: Message received.

Toph: Good. Another thing.

Azula: What?

Toph: Is it true that you know several torture techniques from the Earth Kingdom?

Azula: *sighs* He cannot shut up. Yes.

Toph: Good so start to talk princess snooty-pants. I want details.

— Zuko

Azula: Is your turn in that madness that they’re doing?

Zuko: Has everyone talked to you?

Azula: I think the avatar didn’t but I’m not sure. But I don’t think he knows how to threat someone.

Zuko: Who knows. So can you help me to figure out how to distribute all of the income from-

Azula: Thank Agni. No talk from you?

Zuko: Of course not. If you hurt her she will beat the shit out of you. Well, maybe you will have an awesome battle like I would pick popcorn and watch. So no, I’ve started learning when I don’t need to talk.

Azula: Oh I wasn’t expecting that. Good job Zuzu.

Zuko: So can you help me?

Azula: Gladly.

— Aang

Aang: Hey Azula. Mind if I sit here?

Azula: Do as you please Avatar.

Aang: Oh thanks.

Aang: By the way I came here to say you something.

Azula: So I was right you were the one left-

Aang: Listen Azula I’m only going to say this once. *Avatar State on* Hurt Katara in any kind of way and I will forget everything I know about peace. I’ll bring Kyoshi and let her do whatever she wants. Your past will look like a fairy tale compared to what will happen to you. Understood?

Azula, pale as a piece of paper: Sure.

Aang: It was nice to see you. Let’s grab some tea someday. Bye!

Azula:

Azula: Who would have thought that the air monk which I already kill once would be the most sadistic. My respects Avatar.

— Katara

Katara: I assume they give you the talk, right?

Azula: You have assumed correctly.

Katara: Poor thing.

Azula: I know you don’t feel bad for me, quit the show.

Katara: Don’t be such a baby. Now I need to know, who was the weakest?

Azula: Your brother by far. He spent more time trying to hug me than threatening me.

Katara: No surprised. Who was the “scariest”?

Azula: The Avatar. But don’t you dare to tell a soul.

Katara: Aang? The pacifist monk? Aang who cries if he eats a piece of meat?

Azula: Yes sweetie, that one.

Katara: *barely holding her laughter*

Azula: One more laugh and I’m done with you.

Katara: No you don’t.

Azula: I hate you.

Katara: I hate you too babe.

Toph, from afar: WHIPPED.

— Ty lee & Mai

Azula: Did you give Katara the talk

Ty lee: What talk?

Mai: I don’t think we need to tell her where the babies come from.

Azula: The one of If Katara hurt me you will hurt her etc.

Mai: No?

Ty lee: Why would we ever do that? We like Katara. She’s way nicer than you.

Mai: Being honest she could do better than you.

Azula: And I’m betrayed once aga-

Azula: Oh no. I’m the Sokka. Somebody kill me.

Mai: I think she lost it. Again.

Ty lee: Suki could also do better than Sokka.

Azula: I’m a sinner in the eyes of the fire nation. SOMEBODY KILL ME.

Ty lee: NO YOU ARE NOT ANYMORE NOW IT’S LEGAL.

Mai: Ugh. She’s so dramatic.

[schumigrace]

My life will, quite literally, never be the same.

I moved to the motorsport county for a multitude of reasons, but having Silverstone on my doorstep was at the top of the list.

The mileage counter in my beaten-up racing green Vauxhall has racked up most of it's digits on the A43 through Towcester, I can tell you the exact position of every road sign painted with a brown rectangle, a chequered flag next to the word "Silverstone". I could tell you which direction the track is in from anywhere in the world, as if it's Wing shaped roof hangs like a petrol-laden North Star. All roads lead to Silverstone, you may say (no-one has ever said this)

So, Grace, I hear you asking, how often do you go?

Never.

That is, of course, until I received an email from God herself (the Aston Martin F1 Team Marketing Analyst) informing me of my invitation to their AMR24 Launch. An invitation I very obviously accepted, after 24 hours worth of crying, screaming, and stalking said marketing analyst on LinkedIn to make sure this was not in fact some messed up kind of joke

So it's 7 in the morning, I'm doing my usual commute through the god-awful traffic hell that is Northamptonshire, only this time I'm not going straight ahead on the Silverstone Bypass, I am taking the ever elusive right turn into the brand new Aston Martin Technology Centre and being handed a visitor's pass

The first thing I notice is that they've only gone and put a bloody AMR23 (with the new livery) right in the middle of the lobby, it's covered up at this point, and I'm staring daggers through the cover just daring it to be riddled with carbon fibre underneath. AMR team members are floating around like green angels everywhere I look, shelves are adorned with this past year's trophies (I make a comment to a passing team member - "you'll need more shelves after this year", she chuckles and moves on - I try not to take this is a bad sign)

8 o'clock hits, the official launch video plays, and the cover is removed. jesus fucking christ she's green. thank fuck. I can go home now.

Oh, hang on, is that Mike Krack?

Shit it is.

Mike has a shakedown to run of course, so he doesn't hang around for too long. He's confident in this car though, they've been working on it for years, and he's sure we'll be quick out of the gate. Off he goes across the road to the garage. "Don't worry," they say, "you'll be going over to watch the cars on track too."

Sorry, can you repeat that please, I believe you just said we are going to go over to the track to watch the cars.

"Yes of course, but not before we ply you with cake and coffee, naturally, oh and also Pedro De La Rosa is here along with Jessica Hawkins. Do you want to chat to them?"

I ask Pedro where he and Fernando went to dinner last night. Somewhere in Oxford I think, I stopped listening, I was thinking about how much I would be willing to be a thir-

Anyway.

At this point no photos are allowed for the rest of the day, they are literally building the car right in front of you no you cannot put that on social media.

We're heading across the road now, along the Hamilton straight and up around Stowe, we head past the Porsche Experian Centre and I make some vague comment about Webbonso that nobody picks up on. Nevermind. We turn left just before Maggots and Becketts to head towards the pit lane, and into the Aston Martin garage.

The smell of petrol is so overwhelmingly strong and I make sure every single cell of my lungs is scarred from it. A batak machine is being set up and I joke "wouldn't it be funny if someone beat Jenson Button's world record today". Someone did, not even 5 minutes later. A wave of "get Jenson on the phone!" fills the garage.

I turn around, Stoffel Vandoorne and Felipe Drugovich are on a stage talking about how exciting it is to see the car, or at least they're trying to look excited. I'm not sure Drugo knows what that even means.

Lawrence Stroll is talking to a mechanic and I can literally hear the thousands of dollars dropping into his bank account with every heartbeat. Surely his son is nearby? Oh yes, right infront of us. Imagine that. (Lance did of course look gorgeous, his racesuit tied around his waist, laughing with his engineers like the whore he is)

We're heading over to the PU station now and the wonderful AM team member is talking us through the specifics of it, but I haven't heard a single word she has said, because unfortunately for her Fernando has decided to enter the garage at that exact moment. I am stood near a space heater, and he locks eyes on me (nope, the space heater) immediately. He makes his way over and sticks his backside directly towards the heater and my face is about as red as the radiator.

"Good morning! How are you?"

I have so many words to say to you right now, and not a single one of them is in a language that either of us can understand. I think I eventually vomitted up some form of acceptable response, however, because he smiled at me.

"Are you cold?"

"Only a little" I respond. Not anymore, I'm picturing myself under you, I think.

I totally lost a good hour after this because there's not a single memory here for me to put into words, damn you Alonso

The blur fades with the freezing air outside, and we're stood on the pitwall. Sky Sports are here now and have us doing media stuff, I run as far away from them as possible and climb onto the pitwall. FIA, if you're reading this, I promise I kept both feet on the ground at all times.

They tell us the shakedown isn't going to plan, suprise surprise, and you actually cannot see the car on track today. I mentally curl into a ball and sob the whole way back to the AMRTC but all of a sudden we are being led to mission control and the composite engineering stations and they are, literally, building a car infront of us whatthefuckishappening

By this point I have recovered from my minor sulk - Grace this is literally the best day of your life get over yourself - and then we're being told that as an apology they have hired a room in the Hilton Hotel opposite the pitlane, free food and drinks for as long as we want, oh and... cars on track. all. day. long.

Whilst writing this i received another email from biblically-accurate marketing analyst god asking for feedback. I think a string of letters indicating incessant shrieking will probably do the trick

[k4shixe]

Helloooo!

Could I request Haikyuu characters Oikawa, Sugawara and Kuroo with a chubby reader who's an extrovert and loves books and movies and CANNOT stop yapping about them? I feel like they'd listen to them and just be happy to be included in their rambles.

Haikyuu Boys with Reader That Always Talks About Books and Movies

Staring; Toru Oikawa, Koshi Sugawara and Tetsuro Kuroo

Pairings; Oikawa x gn!reader, Sugawara x gn!reader, Kuroo x gn!reader

CW; chubby reader, affection, pet names (baby,babe and sweetheart), written at 2am ;)

Toru Oikawa

* You guys actually at a meet up with friends, he saw how you stood out from the rest and weren’t shy to speak about your interests

* When you guys went on your first date, he cant lie he did find it a bit annoying as you kept on going into some lore when he just wanted to know your current book your reading or movie you liked because (fyi) he’s a little self centred

* He also loves reading and watching movies, he always finds some time to do so

* But he loved those little moments when you did stop to ask for his input and you’d get plenty to go off of

* When you guys officially started dating you would both go to the little cafe down the street to the high school and would discuss a movie

* Discuss means poor Oikawa listening to you rant about how the two main protagonists should’ve ended up together

* He would take you to his practices and join you every chance he got to ask for an update on whats happening since he doesn’t want to get left behind

* “Babe, I think we should continue our conversation somewhere else” he says as he glances around the room to everyone staring at you both after the 6th angry shout about why the author killed off your favourite side character

* It was late afternoon anyways so you agreed of course since you were far from finishing and continued telling him about your current read

* “And they got lost while snow boarding so they had to cuddle up together, like it was sooo cute!” You mindlessly rambled on

* “Do you wish it was you?” Oikawa teased as he opened the door to the apartment

* “Well…mayb- AHH PUT ME DOWN OIKAWA”

* “Sorry, gotta give my book worm her nap”

* He took you to the couch and let you lay on his lap while he snuggled you in a blanket and put on your favourite movie to watch <3

Koshi Sugawara

* The instant you and Sugawara met, you knew it was meant to be

* He was just as interested in any movie or book you’ve read

* He loved listening to your talk about you favourite shows with so much passion

* Your favourite spots would be a little bench in the park or a small cafe to get a quick snack

* You were so cute to him as you excitedly told him about the newest release and he would excitedly reply with the same energy or more

* He is so cute he would rather die then interrupt you, never wanting to miss a thing and would always tell you where you left off so you could continue

* He and you would take turns choosing books and set a goal or have a challange on who could finish it first

* It was honestly just a way to have someone to talk to about your current read but Sugawara never refused and always took the challenge

* This man would never ever get mad at you for anything, even if you spoil what would happen he would just laugh it off

* He would join you at lunch as you always had something to say

* Always had some sort of input

* “I just cant believe they done her so dirty”

* “YES YOUR SO RIGHT! LIKE HOW COULD THEY!” you shouted a bit too loud but you couldnt help it. You loved when he was listening and matched you energy (which is always)

* His favourite part would always be when you both had a date at home and snuggle under the blanket with a torch and a book ready to be started <3

Tetsuro Kuroo

* You guys met accidentally while he was practicing

* You were talking (complaining) to Kenma about why Kuroo couldnt just participate a little on the group assignment when he so happens to over hear

* “Oh someones talking about me” he would say smugly as he watched you mess up your words trying to make up an excuse to cover up your reason

* “Sorry, Im more focused on my extra-curricular right now. But I’ll try a little so you wont have to do it all”

* You met up after school and thats when he first came into contact with your true self

* At first it was slight remarks to books that he was forced to read for school but later he couldn’t tell but he knew it was quoted

* He asked you about it and you told him you were into books and movies and as a joke he said he was too

* Big mistake tho

* Cause when you started dating you made him read and watch all kinds of stuff

* He had to tell you eventually when he couldn’t keep up with the amount of requested books he had to read or movies to watch

* You were sad that he couldn’t relate to anything you were saying but he encouraged you to keep talking

* He would stare at you while you spoke, adoring you

* Literally loved how adorable you looked with your eyes sparkling in excitement and your little hand gestures as you explained to him for context

* Sometimes he would take you out for dates just to admire you

* “Kuroo? Are you listening?”

* “Hm? Oh yeah. Something about the dungeon being different”

* Your heart melted. It wasnt spot on but he was listening

* “Yeah they took the dragons away and added purple limestone during the years-“

* “And they made her go into the room without her helmet”

* “What, they tricked her?!” He would reply dramatically with a gasp

* “Why?!”

* You were going to forget the fact you already mentioned that part for the sake of his reactions

* When walking home he would hum and nod while watching around his surroundings as he listened to you speak

* “Thats literally not fair, like why did they end up together! Like the others had much cuter moments like when they went to the movies together”

* He smirked as he turned to you

* “Sweetheart, would you like to watch a movie together?”

* He took you to the couch anyways and let you lay on his chest with a blanket on top as you both watched your favourite movie for the 4th time <3

A/n; I love this idea sm and it is so cute! I agree that they would all listen and put their input. I apologise if it is bad or for any mistakes as I just saw and started write this at 2am. Please send in any more requests as im always open and Hope You Enjoy! :)

[gonzo-rella]

Incongruence | Eloise Bridgerton

MASTERLIST | AO3 | KO-FI

Pride Month 2024 #5

Relationship(s): Eloise Bridgerton x nonbinary/genderqueer!AFAB!reader (platonic or romantic)

Summary: Amidst an identity crisis, you confide in Eloise.

Warnings: Coming out scene. Period-typical lack of knowledge about nonbinary people. Eloise Bridgerton not listening, until she does. (Let me know if I need to add any)

Word count: 0.5k

(A/N: The idea of being nonbinary, genderqueer or gender nonconforming in a very gendered society like that which we see in Bridgerton is something I was interested in exploring, even in just a short fic (it may or may not be an element of the Regency-inspired rom-com I'm planning on writing). I thought that Eloise would be the perfect character to pair with a enby/gnc reader because of her aversion to the importance of gender roles in her society, and how that would shape her reaction. Not to mention, I'm in love with her, and I need there to be more Bridgerton fics for nonbinary readers, so here's my offering.)

You weren’t sure what had compelled you to tell her then and there. Perhaps it was because it felt like an intimate moment, the pair of you alone in the dark, the only sounds your quiet breathing and the faint, distant hum of the string quartet coming from inside.

You looked at her contemplatively, chewing on your bottom lip. She noticed this and cocked her head to the side.

“Are you quite alright?” she asked.

“Eloise…” you hesitated. “Might I confide in you about something?”

“Of course. You can tell me anything.”

You swallowed your saliva. She watched you with evident concern and anticipation.

“Sometimes… I doubt that I am a woman.”

After considering your words for a moment, she let out a relieved laugh.

“Thank goodness. For a moment, I was worried that you were with child.”

Unsure how to feel about her reaction, you chose not to speak. In an effort to reassure you, she linked arms with you and pulled you into her side.

“You needn’t adhere to their rigid ideas of what women should or should not be to consider yourself one. Do not let what anyone thinks convince you otherwise.”

You shook your head.

“That’s not- I did not mean it like that,” you tried. “Existing as a woman feels… wrong for me.”

“Oh, I know how stifling being a woman can be, but we can defy what is expected of us. We must. There is fulfilment for us in this life of womanhood.”

“Eloise, you are not listening,” you sighed. “I have read about people throughout history who did not identify with their sex. There are those born as men who have lived as women, and those born as women who have lived as men. It is not something they do because of convenience or to deceive- it is simply because how they were born did not match how they saw themselves. There are even people who do not feel that they are a man or a woman at all, perhaps neither, or both, or something in between. I do not feel that I am a woman or a man. Does any of that make sense to you?”

Eloise thought for a moment, before looking at you.

“Yes, I suppose it does,” she replied. “Is it distressing to feel such incongruence?”

“Oftentimes, yes. To be told what you are when you know it to be untrue… it can be maddening. Especially when it is your own body telling you so.”

“Well, I am sorry that you must endure that. It is bad enough being a woman. I cannot fathom how much worse it is to be one when you are not one.”

You exhaled a trembling breath and rested your head on her shoulder.

“Thank you, El, for being so understanding.”

“Of course. Woman or not, you are still my dear friend,” she replied with a chuckle. She paused before continuing. “That really is fascinating, you know. I would love to learn more about these people, if you would care to tell me.”

[aibloomie]

GOING ON A DATE WITH THEM

✧ featuring — xiao, childe, thoma, and kaveh x gn!reader

xiao’s and childe’s are way longer because yes </3 this is what my short lived motivation brought me to write so I'm pretty happy WOOO ignore any typos HELP

xiao, who would not complain about taking you up one of the tall hills residing in the huaguan stone forest upon your idea for a date with him there. feeling the sturdy ground of the hill would make him feel serene, and his ecstasy would be tripled because he's accompanied by his precious lover. you have him wrapped around your finger, and he finds himself accepting gestures that he never imagined he would have. you could adorn his hair with lovely qingxin petals, trace his light tattoo with your fingers (which will definitely make his cheeks flush), and even request to wear the seemingly dangerous necklace that hangs around his neck. he’s all yours <3

“your sources of happiness are quite odd.” xiao comments, watching as your fingers toy with the pearl colored beads of his necklace. contentment fills your features, your eyelashes fluttering in what he views as a dreamy manner, and your smile seemed almost everlasting as it made no effort to leave your face. you seem happy by simply touching his necklace as if it was a long lost treasure, more happy than if your favorite food were to be presented right in front of you at this very moment. 

his statement made you snicker, “xiao, are you calling yourself odd then?”

“what do you mean?” xiao scoffed, cluelessness clear in his eyes as he stared blankly at your amused ones for a couple seconds before he realized what you were indicating. his eyes widened for a split second. the seed of pure and blissful love that you had instilled in him was nurtured by each and every moment he spent with you, by every realization he had of how dearly you loved him. 

“oh.” a second of silence as he tried to say something- anything. “I see…you make me happy too.” his last words were quiet, but certainly ones that made your heart jumping with joy since xiao usually had trouble vocalizing such thoughts.

once the date is over and the sky turns a midnight blue, xiao cannot get you off of his mind. his company every night is the moon— who listens to the lovingly sweet thoughts xiao has about you, the memories that replay over and over in his head and contribute to his pounding heartbeat, and feels the longing for you that courses through his veins. the moon is his witness to his overwhelming love for you. 

childe who would want to travel to dragonspine, welcoming the bittersweet feeling of the snow that reminds him an awful lot of his home nation and family. he’ll make sure you’re all bundled up, warm, and safe so that the weather does not make you sick. he is an expert at this, given that it is something he used to do frequently back in snezhnaya to make sure his loved ones never got sick. he thinks you’re really cute, looking at him lovingly while he wraps a scarf around you.

“where did you even pull out that scarf from? I didn’t see you take it when we left to come here."

childe feigns disbelief, dramatically placing a hand over his heart, though his next words were laced with delight. “oh, how you wound me. how could my own lover forget that I always come prepared?”

with a roll of your eyes, you shake your head. “yeah? mind telling me about the time that you so heavily insisted on paying for our meal at liuli pavilion and ended up somehow forgetting your mora?”

this time, childe let out an authentic gasp. “hey!” he didn’t even have a comeback. 

with that out of the way, he of course wants to have some sort of battle with you. he’s a competitive individual, after all. so yes, expect him to suggest that you guys hold a snowman competition. just because he loves and adores you does not mean that he will go easy on you </3 snowball fights are not out of the question either, though he does make sure to tone down his strength for it so he doesn’t hurt you

you’ll be spoiled by the end of a night full of thoma’s company, walking alongside him through the well lit streets of inazuma city. you might get teased by a few of the merchants who have known thoma for a long time, making comments on how much of a fitting couple you are. the more elderly people openly describe the two of you as the embodiment of what it feels like to be “young and in love.” all of that just makes thoma’s smile grow and his hold on your hand tightens momentarily, not bashful at all over how clear his feelings are for you. 

on dates like this he really enjoys buying you what you want. see some food that makes your mouth water? within a second he’s already ordering, unintentionally getting a discount since he has helped the cook out in the past (and yes he will want to feed you the food if you let him, and likewise, would love to be fed by you as well)

kaveh, who guides you to a well adorned boat floating idly on a river that circulates a beautifully built city. his attentiveness shows by the dishes with your favorite foods and beverages that are nicely laid out within the boat, accompanied by the decoration that makes the interior of the boat anything but dull. any compliments crafted for him on your end make his mind feel fuzzy, evident by the way his face flushes perfectly. 

the opposite is also true. usually kaveh would more carefully bask in his surroundings, but you captivated his eyes way more than any intricately designed building could, and he makes that known. 

“even with all this impressive architecture surrounding us, I can’t seem to take my eyes off of you.” kaveh’s tone was tender, as if his heart was speaking on its own. his auburn eyes soften as he reaches out a hand to gently caress your cheek. “your unmatched beauty and kindness is breathtaking.”

the date is definitely going to be stuck in his head </3 kaveh already knows he's going to arrive back at alhaitham's home once the date is over, so immersed in his own daydreams of you that he won't even be in the mood to bicker with his roommate (you have kaveh burying his face into a pillow and swinging his legs /hj)

[fluffypotatey]

Leverage 2x01

Yo ✌️ been some time since I’ve watched this show, but I am here!!!! New season new heists idk what I am getting into

Episode calls itself “the Beantown Bailout Job” 👀 so someone will be going to jail??? We’ll see I guess

the hell is Nate doing at an office??? no heist???? 🥺🥺🥺

no wait y’all they got back together end of s1 right????

the cut off at the finale was a fake out right???? my criminal found family are still in touch with each other right????

NATE IS NOT GETTING AN OFFICE JOB NO

lmao he did a batman (and yes!!! you would have hated it there Natty-boy)

ooooh ok and here we have our new poor souls for the episode 

????

Oh he’s the banker????

What are you doing dude listen to your daughter 

NATE NO

OH SHIT

ok if they hit Nate that will be a little funny

what a way to meet a new client lmao

DAM

OH SHIT

oh no the dad is gonna die

shit

Stressed

Leverage stop stressing me out challenge 

Oh hey! Dad isn’t dead

WE HAVE AN INTRO?????

Oh it’s so dated but I love it

Ok ok I think I see where this is going

Boss is so shifty. How dare you be so judgmental about alcoholics to Nate >:( he has just placed you on his shit list

awwww poor babygirl 🤧 

SOPHIEEEEEEE

SHE IS IN SOUND OF MUSIC

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD

OHHHHHHH MY GOF

REUNIÓN

THEY 

THEY

REUNION

TO SEE SOPHIE

y’all I’m crying 🤧 so bad 

how dare they give Sophie bad reviews >:((((( 

Eliot 😂😂😂😂

“That’s very….Catholic” HELP 💀

Parker I love you

Hardinson I love you

ELIOT NO

“Not me!” Says the most criminal of them all

“I am not a thief” says the biggest thief of them all

OH SHIT

Sophie what accent was that???

PARKER

WHY ARE YOU A NUN

Hardinson already hacking shit my beloved

HARDINSON MY HACKER MY BELOVED

Eliot looks so excited saying he nabbed a briefcase

THEY ALREADY HAVE A PLAN I LOVE THEM

“What, you think she dresses like a nun for no reason?” “….she’s Parker.” no yeah that’s valid

Y’all we cannot just be 15 minutes in help me

This is such a nice apartment for one guy

Poor Eliot, always the guy (child) caught in the middle of the Nat/Sophie disaster affair

HARDINSON

OH MY GOD

fucking dying Parker the nun and Hardinson the priest help me

“I did look for you” NOBODY TOUCH ME

Parker are you flirting 👀👀👀

They just made his apartment their new office lmao

Love how Hardinson knows how to play Nate

“Oops,” says Hardinson because he, in fact, did see Eliot before he left and sent him to go look for more shit which just so happens to be in mob territory :)

YES ELIOT

LETS GO!!!! FUCK EM UP

Parker I love you

Nate :) it’s ok :) don’t hold yourself back :) help them out :) just this once yeah?

He can’t even help himself it’s so funny. He has to speak. He must share his knowledge 

I love how they all are like “yeah of course, Nate. Just one last job. Of course.”

YES HARDINSON AND PARKER FBI DUO BACK AGAIN (they aren’t playing fbi rn but you know what I mean)

Eliot & Hardinson my beloved

“Jimmy Ford’s kid” oh? They know his dad?

Love you Sophie <333333

Ohhhhhh I get it

Wait so is the dad going to die?????

Nate’s fatherly behavior coming out my beloved

NATE’S FATHERLY BEHAVIOR ACTIVATING HIS MOTIVATION FOR THIS SEASON

ok so I just know they did some extra shit we didn’t see which will tie this heist up nicely but AGH I WANNA KNOW

“There’s a problem” oh no! how will this interfere with the heist! i sure hope they have many contingencies 

Oh shit wait ok this is a big problem

“Make this up as we go” oh fuck 

Wait this guy sounds sO familiar

ELIOT!!!! ELIOT DAMGER

man, i sure hope Nate recorded all of that 👀

Eliot will not die 

WHO

NO 

WAIT HE IS FINE THO RIGHT???

Oh ok he’s fine it’s just Sophie

Sophie what are you planning 

Aw poor O’Hare

Love how Hardinson changes his voice for intimidation 

You are going shoot the dad in a hospital. Where the gunshot will be heard. As if no one will catch you. Yeah, sure go for it banker man

HAHA

LMAO THEY DID ROB IT

Awwwwww happy ending 🥰

“Still your last job?” Lmao 

Sophie you fucking liar you do not have a boyfriend

No 🥺 (y’all she doesn’t right?)

NO NATE >:( stop being dumb (ok fine just sniff it like a weird person i guess)

Well at least he paid 🙄

YES!!! APARTMENT OFFICE

THE GANG IS BACK

General thoughts: 

THE GANG IS BACK :D 

My only hope is that they don’t separate ever again in the future. Please. They are so lonely without each other. The fact that a Hardinson looked for Parker 🥺 and how he has probably looked for the rest of them. Just to keep tabs. Also how Hardinson knows a lot about Pakistan through White House emails and Eliot was in Pakistan!!!!! My ot3 heart 🤧(Yeah I am totally believing Hardinson checked the White House emails to keep tabs on Eliot. what about it?)

And how Sophie invited all of them to her show as a way of reuniting them, and her and Parker may have stayed in touch since they seem to have planned a surprise like 🥺 idk just the fact that Sophie and Parker are close gives me the warm and fuzzies

Omfg and the fact that their new office is Nate’s apartment and how everyone just falls into their roles so nicely. Like they never left it. As if it they’re all meant to be together 🫠

Love this show

[lazyrezi]

Tj klune books ranked by me based on pure vibes, re-read potential, angst to humor ratio and MY OBJECTIVELY CORRECT OPINION:

Tales of Verania - LISTEN! LISTEN!!! These books are insane and I don't even know if I mean it in a good way tbh. The characters are all on crack. It's both corny (HAH if you know you know) and raunchy. YES the humour is a bit out there and sometimes the sex scenes/jokes are almost too much for my virgin eyes. Are these books "good"? You're asking the wrong question! They're fun and you WILL have fun reading them!!! It's very self-aware, tongue in cheek also sometimes a little too cheesy for my liking.

Oh, also, there are lesbian and emo dragons and magic and monologuing villains and a prophecy because OF COURSE THERE IS. These books will not change your life, but they will make you laugh and maybe cringe and feel. I am thinking about rereading it for the vibes. 10/10 would recommend BUT ONLY if you can get silly with it!!! No doom and gloom!!! (Okay, maybe a little doom and gloom....)

Green creek - ANGST. WEREWOLVES. GAY POSSESIVE WEREWOLVES. FOUND FAMILY

(weird age gap relationships I'm so sorry I hate it too and I hate how easy it would have been to just not do that but oh well)

MORE ANGST.

It's been a minute since I have read these books but oh boy they had me in a chokehold for MONTHS. Full disclaimer I have not read the last book AND STILL I am fully confident in recommending these books.

Ngl there is more weird shit in these books than I care to list. IT DOESN'T MATTER. If the tales of verania characters are on crack then these ones are living in a straight up soap opera. People leave. They hold grudges. THEY HAVE AMNESIA? They have enemies as well. Buildings blow up, people die ohymgod the melodrama never ends and. That is. SO FUN. albeit a different kind of fun but still. Fun times all around. I have finished reading these books and immediately reread them which should tell you everything you need to know. 10000/10

The extraordinaries - imagine you're watching a movie where a scene is coming up that just gives you THE WORST second hand embarrassment - now imagine it isn't a scene in a movie, it's three books and it's every page of all three books. Just sheer unadulterated second hand embarrassment.

Now if you look inside yourself you might find that your feelings are misplaced. The main guy isn't embarrassed and neither should you be! Life is all about falling on your ass and making an idiot out of yourself in the process and it's okay! It's okay. At least that's what I kept telling myself while reading these books.

No, but in all seriousness. These books are good fun. The greatest thing about tj klune is that he will take ANY theme and make it gay. We have gay superheroes. Gay werewolves. Gay magical beings. Gay ghosts! I as someone who regularly wonders why the media I am consuming isn't more gay, am a fan. I want him to do it all. Gay cowboys! Gay astronauts! GIMME IT.

These books I will not reread because I fear I might just die from the second hand embarrassment. It's so bad. But! It's also good! Educational fun. Wholesome love. Some minimal melodrama. 7/10

Oookay. Time for the stand alone books!

The house in the cerulean sea - okay don't hate me but this ain't my favourite. It's everyone else's tho! So I'm sure there is something to it. I think this is what you think of first when you hear tj klune - everyone knows this one, everyone loves it. It's like the popular kid in school. I, as a stubborn contrarian cannot abide this.

Still there is a lot going for this one. It takes you on a journey in a way a book should. And I personally love old gays being in big gay love so I can't complain.

But I will nonetheless.

So the thing about this book is that it's very innocent. And there isn't much angst just a minor misunderstanding that is pretty much quickly resolved. The big confrontation at the end is also quickly squashed by *checks notes* people talking to each other? I mean. It's nice! I would like it to work like that irl. In stories however.... I like a little more angst and anguish personally. There are also a lot of kid characters in this one which is FINE tj klune is actually pretty good at writing kids realistically (even special magical kids) but it's just not for me. I say that but I will be buying the sequel next month so jokes on me. The whole book was just a little too on the nose for my liking but it's still a very cosy read. Also someone pointed this out but WHY is this book so British? None of his other books are set in Britain and this one is set in a magical world so what's up with that?

Despite all my complaints I have reread this book twice. I don't know either. 8/10

In the lives of puppets - first tj klune book I have ever read and seeing as I have since then read everything written by this man I think you know this one is a good one. IT'S SO GOOD. It has everything!! Robots. Found family (families always find each other in tj klune stories). Asexual main guy. ROAD TRIP. Wholesome fun and existential crises for the price of one! 9/10 docked a point only because I don't think I'll be rereading it again. Also the romance was a bit weird BUT! It did grow on me. Like mould.

Under the whispering door - you would think this one would be an easy 10/10. Doomed love story (also gay 'cause of course it's gay), lessons about redeeming yourself, coffee shop and ghosts and and. Honestly it's been a minute since I've read this one. But what I remember is the ending.

Call me pessimistic but I don't think love should bring you back from the dead SORRY. IMMA SAY IT. Main guy should have stayed dead! Think like "the love was there, it didn't save anyone but it was there" vibes. Expect! Here it did save someone! Ridiculous concept! I buy ghost dogs but I WILL draw the line at being brought back from the dead. (The dog isn't brought back in case you're wondering). And it's such a shame because I really like the themes about death and redeeming yourself and it has such good potential! Unfortunately it suffers a serious case of not-working-for-me. Listen can I explain to you why this book didn't hit the same as the rest? Noo. All I know is that I read this book and immediately forgot about it. And unlike the house in the cerulean sea it looks like so did everyone else. Seriously tho. Anyone a big fan of this one? 6/10.

[mrs-monaghan]

You said jungkook saying his most memorable moment of Christmas is him having snow fight with taehyung Cannot scream more bro than this how?? Like it's a good memory what's bro thing in that?

You mean apart from the fact that they're bros? Well, have u ever watched this video?

JK was having the time of his life terrorising the members. Mostly Jin because of course its Jin he would bully the most 🤣🤣🤣

JK loves the snow, Jimin more than JK but JK loves snow too. And he loves spending time with V. Why would them throwing snow at each other not be a good time? Why wouldn't it be memorable?

You're a tkkr so I'm assuming you've seen tkk playing right? It tends to get kinda rough. Which is a clear contrast to when Jikook play. So if you know members, like actually know the members, then the image of Tkk in the snow together is not them falling ontop of each other and hugging and kissing. That's... no. That just happens in fanfiction. Them 2 in the snow, I'm picturing that video and I'm picturing it brutal and competitive. Like bros do.

Do you remember when JK was spinning V?

Do you remember V saying he wasn't feeling well and for JK to stop?

Do you remember how JK refused to stop and instead started spinning faster till V had to scream at him to stop?

And JK still didn't stop? 😂😂😂

Now do you remember when JK was spinning Jimin?

Jimin only had to say JK's name twice

And JK let him off

You don't believe me? Watch for yourself. Jimin's part lasts 10 seconds while V.... oh, poor V 😂😂 even Namjin dont get the cruel V treatment. See for yourself

So for me, anon yes, Tkk in the snow is a bro moment. A real fan would know this. But listen, idk why you're keeping tabs on my blog seeing as I never tag V or your ship, but I assure you, I'm not trying to take this moment away from you. It IS a moment, it is. And it was memorable to JK. Facts. And that's great and I love that for you. But you and I both know it doesn't hold a candle to the Tokyo trip, right? We know that all Jikook moments will always be superior, right? I know, and you know. You all know. Thats why your people are losing their minds on twitter.

I'm sorry you're going through it (I'm not) but you're the ones to blame for backing the wrong horse. Sorry not even a little bit sorry.

[readingjellyfish]

JudeCardan Headcanon!

I once saw a headcanon that maybe Jude and Cardan have a rule that after a certain hour they aren't allowed to talk about politics anymore and I loved it so much I can't stop thinking about it.

I am so 100% sure that Cardan was the one who came up with it, 'cause I can just see them getting ready for bed and Cardan (as always) was adoring his wife was she moved across the room.

But Jude was just going on and on over how annoying the council had been today and everytime she mentioned Randalin his face would pop up in Cardan's head and it would ruin everything.

So he at one point just screamed her name which, of course, instantly put her in fight mode looking alarmed at him and ready to stab anyone with the dagger she took from the hidden pocket she has in her nightgown.

Glad to had gotten her attention this conversation took place:

Cardan: "I just had the most amazing idea!"

Jude: "It better be or else I'm using this dagger on you,"

He of course dismissed the threat with a smirk as he always does...

C: "We should set a time after which we are not allowed to talk politics, I'm thinking from dinner forward,"

J: "What do you mean?"

C: "I mean that while I love nothing more than watching your sexy scheming face and am more than happy to listen to you all day, I would much prefer not to talk about Baphen, war and, even worse, Randalin while we are dining or when I'm watching you so gorgeously undress,"

J: "So you want to set a time after which I cannot scheme anymore?"

C: "Oh I'm not foolish to think I can stop you from scheming, nor do I want to. I just wish not to speak of political matters 24/7,"

J: "Okay, understood...we could try that. Yes, it would be nice."

C: "It would."

J: "It was a good idea, after all."

C: "All of my ideas are good ideas!"

I actually think it would that Cardan a bit more of convincing Jude but yall get it.

While I know every once in a while Cardan has to remind her of the rule I just know there was at least one time Cardan was the one rambling about their royal duties after their set time and Jude was the one who had to stop him.

They are just so freaking adorable and I love them so freaking much, I could read a whole book series just about them being married, just domestic things. I would pay millions for it.

wow that was a lot...byeeee ♡

[bestworstcase]

So...

Fell from the sky into a "crazy world"... trying to get home... trying to get to the tree... tree causes ascension/rebirth/renewal... tree could be considered home... "we just want to go home/to the tree"... they literally need to ascend back to Remnant...

And at the risk of sounding very stupid, is this going to be some "you just gotta believe" magic? Is Ruby's Total Breakdown really holding them all back from getting out? I get that's kind of the narrative point here but still... ugh fuck, I'm just losing it right now.

NO BUT ALSO, YES! BUT ALSO, NO. mostly no but a little yes.

if you’ve never read the books (or watched the musical, which has proven to be a significant creative influence because they wrote this volume for !!!me!!!) the single most important thing you gotta know about wonderland in order to follow along with what rwby’s doing with the ever after, is that wonderland is about taking abstract ideas—metaphors, idioms, the null case, etc—literally and taking concrete things and treating them as absurd. the result is a very particular way of looking at the world. everything is sideways and stretched and turned inside out and also the same. the harder you try to understand it the less sense any of it makes, but it also makes perfect sense if you begin with the assumption that of course it makes sense. it’s very much like a dream.

the ever after nails this way of looking. absolutely knocks it out of the park. everything the cat says is true, but only if you know how to think like the cat. otherwise the words make no sense and obfuscate more than they explain.

for example: ruby asks the cat which of their names they prefer to go by, and the cat answers “oh, i don’t go by; that belongs to the days and years! but if you are asking what i am, i am indeed a cat most curious.” if you listen to that with regular ears it just sounds like the cat is talking cryptic nonsense and refusing to give a straight answer. but! in the cat’s perspective they’re not only being quite clear, they’re giving ruby a lot more information than she asked for: the days and the years go by, but the cat does not, because the cat is a cat most curious.

the cat cannot ascend because it is their purpose to know everything. the cat doesn’t, can’t, partake in the endless cycle of life and rebirth. all afterans change when it’s their time to change, but for the cat it never is and never will be. the days and the years pass them by, and they are always so. very. curious.

you see? they mean precisely what they say.

one of the things that makes 9.8 is SO COOL is that the cat code-switches to reveal their ulterior motive—they repeat all the same information conveyed by “oh, i don’t go by!” but this time speaking in ruby’s (& the audience’s) language. and then, while they do slip back into afteran speech a bit when they get irate (“it’s not a place you go, it’s a place you know!”) for the most part once they’ve made this switch they stick with it. and that’s really fun, because it pulls back the curtain to show off the machinery of the wonderland logic the ever after runs on. it’s not gibberish, it’s nonsense. there’s a kind of sense to it, if you feel around for it with your hands.

(a similar thing happens with the paper pleasers in 9.7: note the purple star explains the village’s desire for ascension in very clear, straightforward, unambiguous terms. now think about how jaune perceives ascension, the lengths he goes to to prevent it, and how the purple star says they keep trying to tell him that he’s wrong. they learned to speak his language and he still refused to listen.)

so, anyway, what this means for the tree and the way out is this:

the cat told them how to find the tree.

“you do not go to the tree.” the tree isn’t real. you can’t go to the tree—you can’t move spatially from point a to point b and expect to arrive at the tree, because it’s not something that exists as a spatial point. it’s something else. it’s an idea. it’s a metaphor. you do not go to me, i go to you; what am i? that’s what the tree is. it’s a riddle without an answer, except for all the answers it has.

“the tree goes to you.” it’s something more like the days or years, which go by; the tree goes to. it doesn’t matter where you are, where you’ve been, or where you’re going. the tree will be wherever you are when you’re there, because the tree isn’t tethered to any one point in space. the tree is everywhere and might be anywhere and certainly it’s always somewhere. (“it’s a place you know.” if you know where the tree is, you’re already there. if you don’t, you’re not. it’s very simple.)

“unless, of course, you’re me. you see?” this is two separate statements intertwined as one. just as the days and the years go by for the cat, the tree never goes to them—they can’t ascend. that’s the first thread. the second thread is a hint. how do you get the tree to be where you are? you need to be “me.” you need to be yourself, you need to know yourself, and you need to want to become yourself. the riddle is “what are you?” and the answer is “myself.”

(<- the you you wanted to be when you were still you.)

and this is exactly what happens when the tree goes to ruby. the first time, when the herbalist asks the question, she comes face-to-face with her younger self and has the shattering realization that she no longer knows who she is. the second time, the tree reaches out to her with the broken pieces that shattering shook loose, and ruby’s answer is “i’m fine. i can handle it.”—not quite an identity, but a belief about herself. and the third time, ruby says “i don’t want to be me anymore,” but then she realizes that isn’t quite true. she resists the cat, as much as she can, and the cat cannot become her. there is—waves hands—something in ruby rose that only ruby rose can be, and with everything else eroded away that something is what the tree goes to when ruby calls out to it by drinking the tea. there’s some narrative exploration happening here of what “myself” can mean, the different angles and layers of identity: the way ruby once saw herself, the stories she tells herself about herself, the essence of who she is deep down inside her heart. and ascension, of course, is about assembling all of these disparate pieces into a completed whole. you break, you rebuild.

BUT.

& this is the important part!

the tree isn’t the way home, it IS home. it is, specifically, the home of the ever after. afterans conceive of ascension as a return home to shed their burdens like an old coat, to rest, to heal, perhaps to dream for a while of what they would like to be next, in order to ready themselves for their return to the waking world. just as you can spend the night in a friend’s home, a non-afteran can rest for a while in the tree and perhaps be revitalized, but the tree isn’t their home. they’re houseguests.

could the tree get them home? open a door? help them find their way? maybe. if they look at it from the right angle, because all of these things can be metaphors for the healing and renewal the tree provides. but maybe not, because their perspective right now is all wrong. they still don’t GET IT. if they want the tree to get them home the first thing they need to know is that the tree can’t get them home: you don’t go home, home goes to you.

(home is where the heart is; it follows that if you find your heart, you’ve found your home—and found you’re home, too. if their path home runs through the tree, it’s a path made of metaphor and verbal sleight of hand. you see? it’s very simple once you get the hang of it.)

(this also, as a sidebar, elucidates why the cat cannot ascend; the tree is not their home anymore than it is rwbyjn’s. the cat is the heart of the ever after—they are the part that knows, the part that very rarely forgets, when they fill broken hearts with pieces of their own what they’re really doing is saying i remember, i remember who you were and are and will be, i remember the pieces you forgot, let me remind you of them now—but the cat’s heart is with their maker. they can’t ascend because they can’t go home and they can’t go home because their home is on remnant and their heart and their home will always be on remnant until they know why she left them here.)

(<- the cat thinks their maker left them to make humans. they don’t know, but the bubbling resentment behind their uncertainty suggests that the cat believes that she left them behind because she liked humans better. they are, accordingly, desperate to become human. finding their way to remnant as a cat wouldn’t do them any good if their maker isn’t interested in them that way anymore; it’s not enough to just find her, they need her to ANSWER THEM.)

…um.

so, the way to get home is to solve all the riddles—what are you looking for? where can you find it? what will you do? what will you be? what are you?—in, i would guess, roughly that order. the act of answering itself is what gets them home, because in the course of answering they will find what they’re looking for as a matter of course, because what they’re looking for really is where their hearts are.

(obligatory musical note: “home is where you keep your hopes and your memories/it’s more than where you sleep, it’s the place where you dream”—the essential mechanism outlined here, of finding your way home by finding where your heart is because wonderland is not about going home, is the central conceit of the musical; and i really cannot stress enough how much 9.8 set up for the next to episodes to resolve by following the same narrative beats. the characters are split up the same way with each group facing the same fundamental challenges in the same general circumstances, and the only piece not yet on the board is the mother-figure who arrives at the penultimate moment to protect alice from the defeated hatter’s wrath. which, um. UM! so, i think it’s a pretty safe bet that the thematic resolution of this volume will resemble that of the musical pretty closely, and the narrative workhorse for that theme is the getting home mechanism.)

the TL;DR here is, getting home is about—well, knowing. to get yourself home, you need to know three things: 1. what are you? 2. what is home? 3. where do you find it?

and once you know that, it’s easy.

ruby having a breakdown isn’t holding them back. (quite the contrary; ruby’s been the one finding the way home this whole time. she doesn’t know it yet, because she can’t see the whole picture, but she’s been the only one doing what she’s really supposed to do all along—letting the world guide her, turning her gaze inward and trying to see. she isn’t seeing clearly, so she thinks she’s falling behind, but really she’s still leading the way. just, in a much different way than she thought she had to.) nothing is holding them back, per se. they just haven’t learned everything they need to learn, and the things they know, they don’t know how to put together yet. once they know, they’ll already be home.

[shadowofmoths]

Who would you cast to play mcr out of the Muppets.

oh man. fantastic question thank you So Much. ok so first of all this post does a great job of it and i rly cannot do better HOWEVER i am going to try and do my own take on it. here goes.

gerard: i mean. listen. miss piggy, obviously. i rly tried to have another option but i don’t. and it’s not just for appearance reasons, like it’s not just so we can put piggy in the cute dresses , it’s also bc piggy has this fancy diva aspect to her of course but also has the capability to go apeshit when necessary.

ray: i am going to say something controversial. i think ray could be kermit. “kermit is the frontperson of the muppets!” yes ok sure you could make that case HOWEVER if you watch the muppet show he’s actually responsible for a lot more of the behind the scenes coordination and keeping shit together. whicu makes me think of ray recording in the back of their bus on warped tour, among other things. there’s also a point where someone says smth to kermit along the lines of like. “thank god YOURE normal” and kermit is like. are you kidding me? i hired the rest of [the muppets]! and i think you could argue ray could fit that in the sort of. doesn’t outwardly seem as intense as maybe gerard or frank but very much still is in my chemical romance ykwim. alternative option would be sweetums ONLY because sweetums’ whole bit is being left behind and having to run after everyone else and ray got left at the truck stop, but i think that bit only works once or twice.

frank: i think there’s a lot of options for frank, particularly if you’re going for the “chaotic guitarist who throws himself around stage” route ? like if you RLY wanted to go for that you could do animal which i think could be funny bc i’m imagining animal with the like emo eyeliner etc. but i rly do think the right choice for him is gonzo. gonzo’s got the ability to be chaotic. but crucially, he is also a wife guy.

mikey: i would make a case for mikey as scooter, maybe? both younger than the people they’re working with, can have a nervous energy, and lowkey there because of nepotism (scooter has a job w the muppets bc his rich uncle owns the muppet theatre. lol.) alternatively i guess you could say beaker based on being. tall and uhh not always talking clearly/being quiet? maybe? but i think scooter is your best bet here. or i guess you could do zoot bc he’s just a silent cool-looking sax player. if gerard is gonna be piggy i guess you could pull another pig muppet for mikey so they’re siblings but idk.

ANYWAYS now i’m having fun imagining each of these muppets in like revenge era outfits . also i can’t believe i managed to say This Much on this topic my god

[lycanlovingvampyre]

MAG 166 Relisten

Activity on my first listen: cutting the Kolkwitzia amabilis in my garden.

MARTIN: "What happened back there? What you did to Sa–" [HE CUTS HIMSELF OFF.] [A PAUSE.] JON: "Go on. Say it." Oh no. Oh god, does Jon think that Martin thinks it was his fault that Sasha died?

HELEN: "Oh, goodness. You see what you’ve done to the poor boy, John? He’s coming to me for clear answers." Oh Helen really knows how to get under one's skin.

HELEN: (giggle) "It’s very satisfying though, isn’t it? Teasing out vague information? You see why Elias got a kick out of it." Oh fuuuck, and now she's comparing him to Elias? Jon really is straight up not having a good time..

TMA usually is super vague, but I'm actually happy we got an explanation how the smiting works. Does sound plausible, I’d say. But also, this explanation about there only being watcher and watched should have got Martin's gears to turn. They are not victims of a domain. So they have to be watchers.

MARTIN: "Sure. Okay, that’s – I mean, that’s really not that complicated, John; I don’t see why you were being so coy about it –" JON: (overlapping) "Because I’m ashamed, Martin." [SLIGHT PAUSE.] MARTIN: "Ashamed?!" JON: "Yes! Ashamed of the fact that I just – destroyed the world and have been rewarded for it, the fact that – I can walk safe through all this horror I’ve created like a… fucking tourist, destroying whoever I please. The fact that I… enjoyed it, and… the fact that there are so many others that I want to revenge myself on!" Why does everything in TMA feel so natural!! There is so much bad and boring writing out there, every time something very logical happens it makes me super excited xD  So yap. It's super understandable that he's ashamed of all of this. Especially since we know how he actually feels about this revenging stuff. His anger says “do it!”, but his logic says “It’s not gonna do anything”..

MARTIN: "…No; No, I actually think you’re good on that front." JON: "What?" MARTIN: "Yeah, I, I, I think we should go for it, get our murder on!" Martin, when he only remotely tastes power xD

MARTIN: "f you want to stop them and have the power to, then – then, then yeah, let’s do it, let’s go full Kill Bill!" JON: "I – I, I haven’t seen it." Laughed so hard at this xD Of course he is deflecting.

HELEN: "Oh, Martin, I am so proud of you. Can I come?" JON & MARTIN: (in unison) "No." HELEN: "So that’s a strong “maybe” then?" Asgdsdfjkdf, Helen can also be so funny! One of those characters I hate and love!

MARTIN: "Do you need anything?" [JON EXHALES.] JON: "No." Love that Martin checks in with him there. He has been a bit dismissive of Jon's feelings about this whole situation.

Yeah, that statement does nothing to me, neither terror nor excitement. As far as I understand it, it's more about the financial part of the Buried. About the pressure of the society we live in, ever trapped in bullshit jobs with only ever a glint of the prospect of escape and there is no use in fighting others like us (that second worm part) cause if we win against them, we’re stuck exactly where we were before.

"The rains fall here as they do so many places in this new world. Thick and oily drops that taste of bitter salt, torrential tears plummeting from the watching sky, thumping and squelching onto the thirsty soil in which the worms writhe painfully towards a surface that does not want them." That is a gross image!

"How do you fight, when you cannot move beyond the slowest inching crawl, without limbs or weapons or the kinetic force of violence? You do it slowly, pressing, biting, tearing gradually through each other until at the very end, one of you is still." There is a very horrifying animatic of this part of the statement, it's called "The Worms (Magnus Archives Fan Animation)”.

JON: "God, I hate the Buried." Mh, he was there once...

That phone's got to be a Nokia 3310, right? XD It is the Nokia ringtone after all!

ANNABELLE: "He’s more powerful here than he’s ever been, isn’t he? And you’re not sure what that means for you." [THE BRIEFEST OF PAUSES. MARTIN INHALES SHAKILY.] MARTIN: "I’m hanging up now." ANNABELLE: "Does he even need you at all?" That part about "you're not sure what that means for you" is actually something I could relate to. Especially in a relationship this young and under extremely high stress levels. Shared trauma and being in the same life-threatening situation can create incredibly strong bonds. Being in that same boat. But how life-threatening is it actually for them? Aside from his guilt and post trauma, Jon is very much fine in this new world. Still, not sure what Annabelle wanted to achieve with this, she does mention it to have been "clumsy", so yeah.

[THE PREVIOUSLY-HOWLING THINGS IN THE BURIED – LIKELY THE WORMS FAR BELOW – HOWL AGAIN, INSISTENTLY.] MARTIN: "I know, right?" Adflkdhfs, this episode has some great comedy!

@a-mag-a-day

[cavalierious-whim]

As I Still Love You (ZhongChi)

Part of 'Etched in Stone'.

Zhongli and Childe renew their wedding vows. Written for An Eternal Vow, A ZhongChi Wedding Zine.

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--

Madame Ping’s Serenitea Pot is set to a never-ending sunset. 

Zhongli has always felt at peace here, his old bones settling as he rests against the lounge on her porch. Their conversation is as usual: polite, quiet, and reminiscent. There are so few left who understand the weariness that he sometimes feels, but Xiao won’t speak of the past, and Ganyu is too busy with her work to speak at all. 

“You’ve been quiet tonight,” says Madame Ping. When Zhongli turns to her, she smiles back, amused. 

“Nonsense,” he says. “We have been chatting for a while yet.”

Her face crinkles slightly and Zhongli knows that look, the one she gets right before she says something that he won’t like—

“Words, and words with meaning are two different things, Zhongli. You might have shared polite conversation with me, but you’ve barely said a thing.” She pauses, tilting her head to the side. “Is there something bothering you?”

Not really. And yet. “I often think about the years. The past, the present, and—well, I used to think of the future. I still do, but—”

“Zhongli,” cuts in Madame Ping sweetly, “what is the matter?”

“Nothing.” He is insistent, but she knows him almost better than he knows himself. Zhongli sighs, rubbing his brow. “I am happy,” he finally says. “When it comes to my life, my family, and Ajax, I am beyond happy. Which makes me wonder… what else is there?”

Madame Ping does not judge him. “Oh, Zhongli,” she says wistfully, holding her hand out and motioning for his teacup. Zhongli places it into her hand dutifully. She sets it on the table, grabs the teapot, and pulls back her sleeve. “That is the question of all questions, isn’t it?” she asks him as she pours out a fresh cup. 

“It is often on my mind.”

“Are you insecure with what you have?”

Zhongli looks at her, offended. “Of course not.”

“Then why wonder?”

Why wonder, indeed, which is why Zhongli finds the thought of it annoying. He is too old and too tired to be worried about such trivial matters—and yet, he cannot help it. 

Madame Ping tuts at him. “You know, that boy is good for you. I knew it from the moment I first saw you watch him the way that you do.”

“And—Celestia, tell me—how is that?”

“As if he’s the only thing there is.”

Oh. Zhongli’s mouth snaps shut at that and he rubs at his chin awkwardly, which leaves Madame Ping to chuckle. He’s never been good at hiding his feelings, particularly when it comes to his husband. 

“It has been a long time since I have been in love,” she says, reaching out to pet his arm fondly. “But there is one thing that I do remember, Zhongli. There are no rules. You get to love a person however you wish.”

Zhongli smiles at that, warmly, and settles his hand over hers. “Thank you,” he says. “I must admit… I am always  learning when it comes to matters of the heart.”

“Ah, yes, well—that’s the other thing about love, isn’t it? No one knows what they’re doing.” They both laugh, and Madame Ping pulls her hand away. “Speaking of, when will I get to see the children again? Are they still off traveling?”

“Ah, about that,” starts Zhongli as he takes hold of his teacup again. “Ajax wrote to Yuan, at least…”

Madame Ping smiles as she listens to him ramble on. The tea tastes as delicious as always. 

#

“Ajax,” starts Zhongli late one night after they’ve settled down, “I love you.”

Their home is quiet. Candlelight flickers from the bedside table. Childe leans against the headboard with an old book in his hand and Zhongli lies beside him as he thinks. He looks up, brow furrowed between his eyes. These words aren’t new; Zhongli says them more often than not, but Childe knows how to read his tone.

Tonight, Zhongli tells him this with quiet reservation. 

“I… would hope so? I mean, I let you put eggs into me, and then I laid them—so you better.” Zhongli cracks a grin at that but doesn’t immediately respond. Childe shifts, closing the book and tossing it to the side. He settles into the sheets, turning towards Zhongli. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong.”

“Zhongli, there’s something on your mind.”

Perhaps Zhongli was a fool to think that he could hide something like this from Childe. “I love you,” he repeats affectionately, “but I often wonder if the way that I love you is the same way that you love me. That is not to say your love is less; I know it isn’t. But, who and what I am, and the implications of someone like myself loving another so wholly… I wonder if you understand to exactly what extent.” 

Childe’s face eases slightly. “I don’t see why there is a need to compare.”

“It isn’t a comparison.” Zhongli sighs softly. “These are just the things that I consider in my old age, I suppose. If I love you to the ends of the earth, then what else is there? What more can I do? I’ve courted you, I’ve married you, I’ve mated you. We’ve raised a family together—so what is there from here on out?”

Childe moves then, scooting closer and taking the blankets with him. He shares Zhongli’s pillow, pressing their foreheads together. “Zhongli, you have nothing to prove.”

“Then why do I feel this way?” whispers Zhongli. 

“Because love is dumb,” says Childe with a soft chuckle. He lifts a hand and smooths his thumb over Zhongli’s cheek. “Are you happy?”

Madame Ping asked him the same question, and just like then, Zhongli huffs, offended. But then his gaze softens, and he nuzzles Childe’s palm. “The most I’ve ever been.”

Childe leans forward then, kissing him softly, and just like that, Zhongli’s unease seems to melt away. For the moment, at least. They doze after that with Childe flush against his chest. Zhongli breathes in the scent of him and tries to revel in the comfort. 

“You know, I just remembered something,” says Childe later. They still share the same space of Zhongli’s pillow, intertwined and craving closeness. 

“Hm?” Zhongli combs through Childe’s silvering hair with his fingertips. 

“An old Snezhnayan tradition. I think my grandparents did it, but I was pretty young so I could be remembering wrong. It’s a vow renewal. You stand before witnesses and recommit your wedding vows.”

“Remarriage?”

Childe laughs brightly. “I mean, in a way, I guess. It’s just… reaffirming what you have.” He pauses. “Would you want to do that? Renew our vows?

It would be like reclaiming him, all over again, which is an idea that pricks at Zhongli’s instinctual lizard brain. “Yes,” he says quietly. “I like the sound of it.”

“You’ve always been a sap.” Childe snuggles closer then, chin tipping up to press a sweet kiss to Zhongli’s jaw. “My old, affectionate lizard.”

Zhongli chuckles before rolling Childe onto his back, pressing his face into the warmth of his nape. The night is still young and they aren’t that old. 

#

There is minimal planning. 

It irks Zhongli and he knows that Childe can tell by the way that he teases him. “We don’t need to think much about it,” he says, mouth curved into that well-known smirk. “We planned the wedding to the tee, so let’s be more laid-back this time around.”

Zhongli tries to remain easy-going about it all, but this is one of those times when he and Childe approach things wholly differently. Childe isn’t a planner, far more willing to just jump in and go with the flow. And maybe it’s because Zhongli is old, but he prefers to have a schedule, to plot things out accordingly. Not to mention that unknown anxiety that seems to have grown with his age. 

He frowns, thinking. 

Childe reaches out to tap his nose. “Hey, you okay?”

It startles Zhongli. “Ah, I’m—just thinking.”

Childe smiles, just a gentle grin that sits on his face. “Are you nervous about tomorrow?”

They sit in their Serenitea Pot, enjoying a nice brew of tea. They should be going over last-minute details for the ceremony the next day, but Childe wouldn’t allow it, putting the books away, so to speak. 

No, Zhongli wants to say, but it would be a lie. 

His silence must speak volumes because Childe reaches out to rub a thumb over Zhongli’s knuckles. “Hey, it’s normal.”

“It is not. We’ve been married for—”

“Decades, I know.” Childe sighs contently at the thought. “You know, even I feel nervous about it. I’ve been married to you for more than half of my life. How is that not daunting?”

It shouldn’t be. It shouldn’t be—but oh. Zhongli supposes that is the point. It’s alright for none of it to make sense. Isn’t that what Madame Ping told him, all those months ago? 

There are no rules. You get to love a person however you wish.

Childe watches him patiently with a twinkle in his eyes. It is Zhongli who tugs Childe’s hand to his mouth to kiss it. “Have you thought about your vows?” he asks. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” says Childe slyly, which only makes Zhongli chuckle. 

#

It is, perhaps, more effortless than Zhongli expects. 

The sand is cool underneath his feet and Childe’s hands are warm in his. They stand on the quiet beach in their Serenitea Pot, surrounded only by a handful of close friends and family. It is sunset, the sky turning purple and pink as the brightness begins to dip below the horizon. 

Even with the eyes of the others staring, Zhongli feels as though it’s only the two of them, lost in their own little pocket of the world. 

Childe rubs his knuckles, the wrinkles of his face framing his eyes and mouth handsomely. “You okay?”.

“Yes,” says Zhongli, and the word rings true. 

Xiao clears his throat from where he stands next to them. He looks as though he’d rather be anywhere else than there at the moment, his face pulled into a stern frown. 

Childe snorts softly, rubbing at his chin. “Sorry,” he says. “Understandably distracted.” And then, Childe winks at Zhongli, which makes his stomach curl ever so slightly. 

“Disgusting,” says Xiao. 

“Xiao,” warns Zhongli. 

Xiao looks like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “Right, I’ll—” He clears his throat again. “We are gathered here today—”

“Oh, did you actually study the script that I gave you?” Childe sounds a little too pleased with that, and Zhongli hides his laugh behind a thinly veiled cough. 

Xiao locks onto Childe with a cool gaze, and then says, “We are here to witness these two idiots renew their vows, whatever that means. I don’t pretend to understand the strange mating rituals of mortals.” There are a few laughs from their audience, and Zhongli feels his cheeks burn pink, embarrassed. Xiao waves a hand. “Do whatever it is you’re supposed to do.”

Childe opens his mouth to speak, but Zhongli beats him to it. “Wait,” he says, “I know there was a plan, but I think I would like to go first.”

“I… okay.” Childe looks intrigued, at least, his head tilted to the side. 

“Ajax.” Zhongli whispers his name, for while it’s known, this is still one of those things that he tends to keep to himself. “There are many things to say and I don’t know where to start.”

“Anywhere,” says Childe, trying to soothe him. 

“These years spent together, I…” Childe is patient, so utterly patient as he stands there and lets Zhongli make an idiot of himself. “Months ago, I went to Madame Ping with a question that I had no answer to. I told her that I am happy and that you’ve brought me a life that I can barely fathom. Then I said, ‘It makes me wonder—what else is there’?”

Childe opens his mouth, but Zhongli holds up his hand, chuckling. “It was a concern as to what more I can offer you. I’ve given you all my love and more. A life, a family, truly everything that I can offer, and yet, there is a worry that it isn’t enough.”

“What did she say?” asks Childe, knowing that he shouldn’t interrupt. 

“Er—what?”

“Madame Ping. What’d she tell you?”

Zhongli smiles then, his feelings betraying him. He tugs Childe’s hand to his mouth, kissing his knuckles. “That there are no rules and that I get to love a person however that I wish.”

Childe’s throat bobs as he swallows thickly. “Oh,” he says. And then: “I’ve always liked that old goat.” There’s a snicker from behind them. Madame Ping, no doubt. 

“Perhaps it is because I am old and set in my ways but I often see things as milestones to be had, and our love is no exception. I have never considered that it doesn’t have to be that way. With you, I am always learning. And so, my vows—” Zhongli laughs, nuzzling the soft skin of Childe’s palm. “They are exactly the same as the ones from the first time we married because there is no need to change something that isn’t broken, or prove myself to you in any way.”

Childe's lip wavers ever so slightly, just a soft little tremble that most would miss. Zhongli doesn’t, his gaze washing over Childe’s entire being. He’s so effortlessly handsome as he stands there, in his plain red shirt and trousers. “Your love,” starts Childe.

“Etched in stone,” finishes Zhongli, kissing that ring that sits on his finger. “Solid as the earth that I am built from. Unwavering as the rock that crafts Liyue. I am not going anywhere, Ajax.”

Childe breathes a comedic sigh of relief, rubbing at his face to wipe away the tears before anyone else can see them. “Gods, what a relief. And really, how can I follow that up?” He looks around them, trying to find his words. “Being a former Archon isn’t enough, right? He’s always gotta one-up me.”

Zhongli’s history is not a secret among this group. There is no need to hide it or play dumb. 

“I tried writing mine down, you know,” continues Childe, pulling a wrinkled slip of paper from his breast pocket. “I’m shit at remembering things, even when I try, and I thought that maybe I’d get emotional, or—”

“Ajax, you’re rambling.” Zhongli finds a moment to tease him, even here.

“I just—” Childe sighs, dragging a hand through his carefully coiffed hair, ruining it. “It’s empty,” he finally says, “this paper. I’ve spent months trying to find words that express exactly what you are to me, and I can’t find them.” 

The slip of paper in his hands is wrinkled and a little yellowed, but entirely bare. 

“But, as I stood here, listening to you just repeat the same damn thing you said decades ago, I realized that there aren’t words that describe us. Zhongli, we just are.”

Oh, thinks Zhongli, his throat tightening. 

“Zhongli,” says Childe then, his voice tipping low, “I can’t promise that I will always be a good husband. I can’t promise that I will never hurt you, or that I will make wise decisions, but I can promise you that you are my everything. That there is nothing else for me. My days begin with you, and they end with you, and that is the only way that I want to live out the rest of my miserable, pathetically short life.”

It is a thought that Zhongli has chosen to ignore for years, Childe’s inevitable demise. 

“You’re old and ancient. I’m like, this small blip—” The space between Childe’s fingers is far too tiny for comfort. “— when compared to your life experiences. For me, though… my life is entirely defined by you.”

Zhongli kisses him. He reaches out and drags Childe forward, fingers curling into the loose linen of his shirt. Childe grunts in surprise, but kisses him back eagerly. This isn’t the plan, he’s supposed to wait until they’re told to do so. Xiao is affronted, face twisted by annoyance as he takes a step back. The rest of those who watch hold their breaths, unused to seeing Zhongli so blissfully forward. 

Childe laughs against him, wrapping an arm around Zhongli’s neck, holding him close. 

They lose track of time. Neither cares about their audience or how the sun is slowly dipping away, leading to the night. The only thing that matters is the calmness of their abode and the warmth that Zhongli drags out of Childe’s yielding form. 

When they finally part, Childe asks, “What was that for?”

“Nothing,” says Zhongli before kissing him again, this time short and sweet. 

It is disgusting, how much his chest swells. Zhongli feels like he could die with this sort of love, but it’d be a happy death in the arms of his husband. Childe fingers at his ring idly, staring at it. “It isn’t as though they were empty vows on our wedding day, but now I feel like I finally understand exactly what I meant by them.”

Zhongli agrees. 

Then, Childe’s face is split by a mischievous grin. “Hey, come on.”

“Ajax, what are you—” Childe tugs him towards the water of the beach, their ceremony all but lost in the sand. The ocean is ice-cold against his bare feet, his toes sinking into the wet earth. “Ajax.” 

Childe laughs as though he’s a boy again, his face wrinkling as he grins. He kicks up the ocean at Zhongli, who just stands there in the water, sunk to the spot like a solid stone. 

They hold hands, refusing to let go, Childe’s calloused fingers an unwavering weight that anchors Zhongli. 

It is, perhaps, the most perfect sunset that Zhongli has ever known. 

[a-mag-a-day]

MAG 92 - baking apple pie

HOLD ON! Is that operator and Chief Inspector Hannah "Laura Popham/Jane Prentiss/Rosie Zampano" Brankin and the officer on the phone Alexander J"ared Hopworth/Martin Blackwood" Newall??? The operator sounds fairly clearly and the officer just sounds like Alex disguising his voice to sound deeper (or it's just edited like with Jared). Not so sure about the Chief Inspector. It lists both of them as additional voices, so it's possible?

"My dear Jonah" - ¬‿¬

"I know that what is done by those I cannot see might be felt here" - clever, using a place of Beholding to uncover those turned invisible by the fog. So… Did Barnabas know what the Institute was? What Jonah could do?

ELIAS "No, it was because he was curious. Because he had to know, to watch and see it all. That’s what this place is, John, never forget it. You may believe yourself to have friends, to have confidantes, but in the end, all they are is something for you to watch, to know, and ultimately to discard. This, at least, Gertrude understood." - Jon did better! Jon tried to help and save every single one of them! And in the end, exactly this was his doom to become the Archive. Gertrude did let all her assistants die, let others do the dirty and deadly work, which prevented her to get marked be all the fears.

MARTIN "Uh, sorry to interrupt, er, J-Jon’s here!" - Awww, he sounds so happy about this!

ELIAS "Goodness, Jon. Whatever happened to your hand? And your neck?" - Letting us know that the blunt knife did actually do some damage. Also Elias sounds so bored here. I mean, of course he Knew what happened, but usually he puts in a bit more effort to sound surprised or concerned.

JON [Chuckles] "I’ve had a hell of a week." - Yeah you did. On this day Jon got marked by the Vast and the Hunt. And just 4 days ago he got marked by the Desolation. (It is a Friday btw. and he met Jude on Monday.)

DAISY "Before I strangle the grinning bastard." - Letting us know, that Elias finds this whole situation amusing…

Oh yes, the static's pretty loud when Jon consciously compels someone.

Even though Elias sounds amused about the feeling of the compulsion, he also sounds like it takes a bit of effort to resist it.

ELIAS "There’s so much of this place, of ourselves, twisted by forces far beyond us. I just wanted you to know –" - Okay, was he about to talk about the Web? Since he wanted the others to know that he was not controlled and acted of his own free will. And conveniently in this moment Martin retrieved the others and interrupts him! Another Web!Martin moment!

BASIRA "Ah… Oh, god! And you killed him? You sure we shouldn’t be giving him a medal?" - Lol. Nobody liked Leitner xD At least his reputation.

God, the others finding out what really happened to Sasha… Martin and Tim I mean, I guess Jon already told Melanie.

ELIAS "Precisely. It finally tried to kill John. Then Leitner killed it. Then I killed Leitner." - THIS is a huge clue that Elias can't see what happens inside the tunnels! He couldn't see what actually happened to the Not!Them and he also couldn't hear Leitner (because of his A Disapprearance tho) when he told Jon that he entombed it.

Ben makes such a good villain! That chuckle when he phone rings!

ELIAS "No, there are plenty of other rabid dogs out there, mad with the hunt." - Smirke'ian name of the Hunt first time drop!

Martin doubting the police would do something like this reminds me of that The Fresh Prince of Bel Air's episode where Carlton thinks the police was only "doing their job" when they stopped him and Will and threw them in jail. That naiveté of disbelief that people wouldn't take advantage of their power.

ELIAS "Basira is now tied to the Institute. All of you are. Like fingers on a hand. And I am the beating heart of it. Should I, or the Institute, be destroyed, you will all, unfortunately, follow suit." - When I was first listening to this I stormed out of the kitchen to the group of friends staying at our place (because we would go on vacation together the next day) and babbled something incoherent to them about OMG THEY CAN'T LEAVE OR THEY'LL ALL DIE!!!

ELIAS "To offer some congratulations. You’re doing a lot better than I expected." JON "Feels like all I’ve managed to do is… not die." ELIAS "And believe me, that is a remarkably rare skill." - It's kind of true. All Elias needed was for Jon not to die. Yet.

ELIAS "The easily-digestible sort that wipe away any doubt and fear, and neatly organise your new world into happy little" - DOORBELLS!

ELIAS "These are things you must discover on your own." - This and with his explanation of Leitner "Telling Jon too much too soon!!!" I thought was a bad excuse. Turns out later, it was and it was intended! It was just an excuse to get Jon marked. Something I first considered lazy writing suddenly turned into brilliant writing!

ELIAS "Precisely. It is your job to chronicle these things, to experience them, whether first-hand or through the eyes of others" - Jon theater-kid explanation.

JON "I never chose this." ELIAS "You never wanted this, no. But I’m afraid you absolutely did choose it. In a hundred ways, at a hundred thresholds, you pressed on. You sought knowledge relentlessly, and you always chose to see. Our world is made of choices, John, and very rarely do we truly know what any of them mean, but we make them nonetheless." - Elias kinda gaslighting Jon here? How can it be choice if we don't know, what it means. When we don't even know there was a choice. That's kind of a philosophical question here that everyone can see differently… Also door motif!

ELIAS "I could. But I believe that if I did so, you would fail. The Stranger is antithetical to us. We thrive on ceaseless watching, on knowing too much. What we face is the hidden, the uncanny, and the unknown. If you are to stop them, you need to get better at seeing." - Ok that one actually does make sense. But I believe that in this instance Elias was also genuine and not making excuses to get Jon marked. Not directly at least. He needs him to survive death.

The explanation of the Unknowing, what it is and does was also pretty mind-blowing for me the first time listening.

Jon lingering to ask if he's still human is so sad…

Even though Elias does sound like an absolute villain, grooming Jon into horrible things, I was still not entirely convinced Elias is the super bad when I was first listening. He does want to stop the Unknowing after all.

Elias' ambiguous villainy and obvious asshole-ness was performed so well in this episode

[todayisafridaynight]

I have gotten two of my friends interested in Tsuma just by spamming GIFs so can confirm the Cutest Old Man In Media strategy has a high success rate... ON THAT NOTE. Very strong list of cuties... I Must Agree... Ikegami may be At Least A Little heinous but can't argue with that reasoning...

AND OK LISTEN. Some things I tell you are meant to be locked away in the vault never to be spoken of again... Tsutsumi's retirement is one of those... [just kidding it's fine LMAO he can do whatever makes him happy But I Will Cry I'm Sorry WE GET LIKE ONE MAINLINE GAME EVERY FOUR YEARS WHAT IF JO NEVER COMES BACK AAAA] BUT YES. YEAH. Very curious how he might do as a director...

DJKLGHJKLSDHLKS NO THAT'S THE FUNNIEST THING because I will generally just mention something in passing without actually recommending it but you'll go for it anyway😭😭😭NOT COMPLAINING. NOT COMPLAINING IN THE SLIGHTEST you have my deepest gratitude after A Lifetime of having my recommendations fall through and not being able to talk about stuff I'm into I cannot say this enough 😭😭😭😭😭but of course, definitely checking out the movie when I can :] I wish I could've watched before responding but busy day... oh well...

Speaking of! Kagerou Touge here and Tonbi here. They're both a bit less than three hours and split into two parts sooooo up to you <3 I don't remember enough about Tonbi to summarize it any better than what's on the page and It Is Best I Leave Kagerou A Surprise From Start To Finish. Bali Big Brother has been a bitch for years though unfortunately😩no subs may or may not be better than the machine-translated subs I had to work with

AGREED ON EVERYTHING ABOUT ATR NO NOTES NO ADDITIONS... YOU GET ME... KUROMI/MY MELODY-CORE SO REAL I felt like stopping and pointing whenever you could see their charms😭😭😭big fan... huge even... also the visual direction was Overall really good it is such a pretty anime and goes So Hard with the rain motif... SPEAKING OF THE FINALE WHICH I LOVED FOR THOSE SAME REASONS AS WELL Akira imagining breaking into a run to kiss Kondo on the cheek in the "date" ep but when she actually does it in real life it's a hug... as friends... broooooooo 😭😭😭😭😭

can't believe you're just hoarding keisuke gifs from me 😭 yes ive seen all of the show but STILL BUT REGARDLESS I'M GLAD YOU GOT OTHERS ON BOARD truly love this show a lot for keisuke... even beyond him tho not only is the cast really lovely but again i really love where the story went and how it all culminated in its last episodes..

and LISTEN Yes Ikegami Is A Lil Rank. Comes With Being A Yakuza but i do not have many options out of the charas ive seen tsutsumi play 😔 we been through this ttm is either very heinous or very serious in his films.... have to be careful..... plus i still think him smiling so much during the filming of the movie was cute, he's just a little silly to me 😔

but if tsutsumi isn't due to come back cause of his career, i gotta be the one to rip the bandaid off an assume jo prob won't return after this game. which either means 1.) joins the graveyard of tsutsumi charas 2.) He Somehow Gets Out Just Fine ???? And Just Does His Own Thing ???? Alone ???? either way... very intrigued to see what LaD8 has in store with that in mind...

there's some evil parasite in my brain that makes me immensely interested in things- like i accidentally went down a rabbit hole on The Superman Curse after someone made an aside comment about the latest flash movie DO NOT mention things to me because i will investigate it thoroughly... AND IM GLAD I DO CAUSE I FIND GEMS LIKE THESE !!!!!!!!! with that said i hope you enjoy the movie if you get to it !! (❁´◡`❁)

AND SPEAKING OF EPIC THANK YOU SO MUCH !!! i wouldn't mind with auto-generated subs tbh.... i've worked with less honestly BUT for now i'll see to watchin these two tonight ||ヽ(*￣▽￣*)ノミ|Ю

I REALLY LOVED THE RAIN THEME OF AtR. like Yeah That's On The Label BUT STILL it really fit the title so well... AND YAYA THE PARALLEL IN THE DATE EP FANTASY VS THE FINAL EP REALITY.... cinema.. LITERAL cinema i LOVE so so much the direction the anime went with their relationship... i said it enough but it's just so refreshing and great to see...