#oh hyperfixation we're really in it now
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Scripts Thoughts:
1. Roman told Tabitha about the failed launch and how people may have died. Their conversation was never written but in the scripts after he makes the joke about having thumbs and not killing anyone he tells Tabitha no one died. So she knew. I want to know how that original conversation went. Since Roman doesn't like to be vulnerable. Did he joke about it? Was he vulnerable for a second? Did she comfort him? Did he let her comfort him or did he pull away when/if she did? Because maybe he was vulnerable for a split second when he confessed about it but if she tried to comfort him I can see him pulling back like 'no this is too much now'.
2. According to Script World, Roman and Tabitha had only been on 4 dates prior to the wedding. This makes Roman's "let's get married" proposal even more outlandish. And (either way) it reads as "I fall too hard too fast and I'm terrified of being abandoned and if we're married then I can't loose you". Which we do get the idea that that's exactly what he thinks with Tabitha's "do you think this is how you get people to stay?" (Also at first she thought he asked 'for a tax scam' because it was so ludicrous, and that he was using her as arm candy until he was like 'no I actually like you'. This ties into this:
3. In the script Roman's best man speech is very very different. The statement regarding borderline personality disorder was Kieran's change. Which is very interesting considering, from the little I know, he liked to add things to Roman's characterization (such as the disordered eating). Now, add these things: Roman loving fast and asking everyone he falls for to marry him inappropriately fast, his fear of abandonment by those he loves, him rejecting people when they do something that upsets him (ok so, so far this only happened once* with Grace watching the movie he hates which caused him to lash out and break up with her on the spot but I read that very much as splitting), and the fact that he said "I feel nothing at all, it's called borderline personality disorder" during the speech. *In the script Tabitha basically tells him the launch doesn't seem like a big deal or at least she doesn't think so which hurts him and he does "get sharp" in the way he replies to her. This makes her start packing her bag to leave which causes Roman to apologize and recognize he was being sharp and admit it, because he doesn't want her to leave him. So possibly a bit of a split plus lashing out.
Now at first I originally thought, "but BPD makes you feel too much, like the emotions are go big or go home" and completely forgot about the "or go home" side being an actual thing. It actually took me having my therapy appointment this week (in which we discussed my BPD) where we talked about how there are points where I feel empty/numb/shut off. My therapist then explained that that's a Thing with BPD and can come about when feeling overwhelmed emotionally or in response to something overly stressful.
That made me think: Roman was at a wedding. They tend to be emotional especially when it's family. He had very recently asked Grace to marry him which did not go the way he planned. He watched the rocket he worked so hard to expedite so that it could be a perfect just for Shiv explode. He was stressed and anxious beyond belief over the fact that if the explosion killed anyone he would be facing imprisonment. I 100% believe all this emotional overload fully caused him to shut down his emotions at that point. So I fully believe he was feeling nothing and I believe his flippant remark regarding BPD.
I doubt Roman has ever been to therapy and professionally diagnosed but I wonder if he, perhaps, has googled things for himself. Like if he was ever like "why am I like this" but absolutely refuses to be open and vulnerable about it with another human being so he turned to self diagnosis.
So yeah. I am absolutely leaning in to the BPD not being a joke. He's got the fear of abandonment, he's got the feelings of emptyness in tough moments, he seems to have splitting tendencies (again, I know one or two moments doesn't solidify it but I will be keeping an eye out). He does seem to have some explosive moments (again, that scene with Grace at Thanksgiving and the one with Tabitha in the script). *also note, sometimes with BPD the explosions aren't outward but can be inward so rather than lashing out at others you lash out inwardly which is where I sit so I can absolutely see Roman mentally lashing out at himself, too.
Maybe I'm projecting some of this but I think it's very very very interesting too see these traits and then learn that the BPD statement was added by Kieran.
4. There's a part in the script where Roman tells Tabitha that he wishes he was good at something. That he wishes he had ONE thing that he was EXCELLENT at so that he could basically do that one thing perfectly. Which I think is a vulnerable moment for him to admit that.
(sorry long post and sorry for any word/spelling errors I'm on Mobile)
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im sorry system of a down shitposts for ever doubting you
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managing to finish splatoon 1 exactly where I left it (A- rank 💪💪💪) on my best winning streak yet
checking my daily log I was able to find the first time I ever played splatoon
the last time (before this year)
and my total playtime
#shout out the one hacker I encountered and the 3 or so people who partied with me#espeon cries#it feels a little silly getting this emotional#after splatoon 2 came out I genuinely didn't touch it until now. and of course 2 and 3 are right there#but this silly little game was the light of my fucking life and one of my first Real hyperfixations#it's been nice knowing it was there yk? but this really is it#splatoon 1 I love you and I always will#thank you for being the reason 2015 wasn't the worst year of my life lmaoooo#oh god how are randos finding this. we're all in the trenches now huh
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were "[insert media] characters as vines/etc" videos ever good or was i just not paying attention
#gonna be a hater for a sec sorry#it feels like people just pick their favorite ones and slap the characters over them#instead of picking ones that actually remind them of the character#i mean i get when hyperfixation makes pretty much everything remind you of them but so often now it feels like theres zero thought process#i know this is a really dumb thing to be annoyed by#idk where this idea even comes from. i mean its kinda perfect cause its like blorbo-flavored funny clips comp. but how do you fuck it up#its the same with incorrect quotes like when you reuse the same ones for every media it usually has nothing to do with the characters#you just put their names on there to feel something#ultimately it just obscures the characters' actual personalities if anything#and ive been guilty of it too! i'll tweak characters to fit them into something funny i thought of#because its so tempting to apply your hyperfixation to everything#but may we not forget the reason we're here in the first place. canon. thank you#teeths#oh also this is not about any specific fandom ive seen it several times and i keep falling for it
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#tag talk#been doing some thinking now that I'm in a he/him state and very definitive ace for the foreseeable future#my therapist connected it back to validation and trauma response#because like.. the fawn response is very strong in me. but only when I'm she/her. he/him me is more fight#and a significant part of my sex drive is validation-seeking. the need to prove my competence at something.#and I still hyperfixate about sex regardless of whether or not I want to engage in it myself.#but the desire to engage in it feels more driven by a need to prove myself.#or prove to myself as the case may be#but the case fact remains that as R I feel a much higher social need whereas L feels much more independence#but L experiences much higher social anxiety and conflict versus R feeling much more social lubrication due to the fawn response#because I get the drive to make everyone like me. so much less anxiety because why worry? everyone loves me so no issue here#we're both flirty though. that doesn't change at all.#idk. how does this affect me going forward? how can I use this information to better live my life as happily as possible?#I definitely need to be more aware of the fawn response. I'm pretty on top of the reflexive fight response though.#I first recognized that back in 2019 so I've had plenty of time to work on it and I'm way less aggressive now than I used to be#but the people-pleasing is something I haven't really tackled yet so I guess that's my next big thing to analyze#maybe the answer is doing less to try and make people like me and accepting that I'm likeable anyway#but also recognizing that not everyone has to be in love with me#I don't need everyone to think I'm the best#I don't need to be in a popularity contest all the time#oh shit. I wonder if that's connected to my reaction after dipping my toes into polyamory.#because I have this drive to be the best compared to everyone else#and a drive to perform when I feel like I'm the center of attention#hmm. I feel like this is maybe connected to how I act when I'm groups. kind of an attention-whore#idk. I'm still pondering#anyway goodnight
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it was a thing for awhile in the fandom (and still is) to focus on one demographic a character is a part of while ignoring others like they can only exist one at a time (primarily being erasing disability traits or experiences the characters describe, usually by taking a trait meant to indicate one thing and claiming it can only indicate a separate thing and never anything else)
but the absolute biggest offender will always be when Rick and Mark Oshiro just fully did that in The Sun And The Star. like. oh okay. this is what we're doing now. and fully said it too. "Nico only likes Mythomagic to look at the hot men on the cards" ah yes of course it's definitely not because. he has adhd (and autism coding) and Mythomagic is his hyperfixation/special interest. nah that couldn't be it. Because of course Nico's only trait is "Gay" and that's the only thing that can inform his character Ever. How could i be so silly as to think otherwise? (sarcasm sarcasm)
anyways the fandom could really stand to learn about intersectionality that'd be great. rick too probably. also just remember disability exists in general and is kind of very central to the series and nearly every character. thanks.
#pjo#riordanverse#nico di angelo#tsats crit#rr crit#in the case of what TSATS did that example doesnt even have an element of intersectionality to it really that's just purely erasure#they fully erased that Nico's connection to mythomagic is part of his disability/being neurodivergent and went ''no actually he's just gay'#''he only likes this game because Gay Reasons''#they both said that out loud at the book tour and it's also in the book itself and i hate it#anyways sorry theme of the week seems to be shaking my fist at lack of acknowledgement of intersectionality#and general erasure of the focus of disability in the series (primarily first series)#(including the franchise itself erasing the focus on disability which i will personally bitch about forever)
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Omg ! I didn't think you'd actually respond !! We're gonna fly away from here is easily one of the best ones in the series!! It's so Twisted and disturbing but almost domestic... (Also tysm for including my name idea in your story, Idk where it came from, I just liked it and I appreciate you!) I digress. I've returned with a concept. Al almost always has a plan when he does something. I don't know where you want to go with the second child but this won't be too focused on that one...for now. I really liked how you interpreted Alastor being a weasel and weaseling his way back into the families life and was thinking about how many I wonder about if he has a plan right now, like not a long term one, obviously, but a very specific one for a 'short term'. Women back then, especially in the south weren't allowed to have bank accounts so finicial trapping works well in this case. Also just kinda the ability to turn their kids against her would be enough to terify me. People talk about the 1950's housewife, but oh my god, 1920's housewives were a new kind of depressed. I, personally, don't think Alastor is the type of physically abuse women. No, he's far too classy for that. Instead, like I said, I think he'd either use his status in their house to trap his wife. We were able to run away while we were pregnant and alone, but we have a child now...and would we be willing to leave our child with him? No, I don't think I would, personally. This was just me rambling. K, love u, currently hyperfixated on this au. Byeee !!!! _ Cherry Anon!
DON’T REALLY WANT NO TRUST FUND BABY
[before reading this, read the rest of the story!]
— seems as if alastor found out your little secret
— UR TOO SWEET I SC THIS ON MY IG STORY AND YAPPED TO MY BOY BSF FOR AN HOUR AB IT IM BLUSHING SO HARDDDD!! ABUSE WAS LIT MY LAST SOCIAL STUDIES LESSON FOR THE SCHOOL YEAR MY TCH YAPPED AB FINANCE SO HARD 🤭🤭
being married to alastor, the radio show host is quite the sensation in your town. but, behind the closed curtains, alastor did things that would’ve made lucifer shake in his boots.
no, he didn’t hit you. his mother would kill him if he hit his wife. but, just because alastor never hit you, didn’t mean he didn’t abuse you.
he tormented you in the worst way possible, through noah. and now, emilia.
it’s been 3 years. your little emilia lives up to her name, a cute little girl who’s eager to win. and, little noah is now a big boy, double digits and all.
and, since you’ve returned back to his house, alastor has done nothing but twist your babies’ minds. ‘once upon a time, mama wanted to run away from daddy… so, she ran away and took big brother with her. daddy was sooo worried for mama and big brother though… daddy was able to track mama down, and took her home!’ he cooed to your daughter, bouncing her in his arms— with you right beside him!
you wanted to yell; scream. of course, emilia was too young to understand what alastor was saying. but, still— the fact that he was trying to tell your children that he was some sort of white knight who saved you from yourself. you wanted nothing less, but to snap that neck of his like a twig.
you really shouldn’t act so brashly though. to outsmart alastor, you have to think like him. think of what’s smarter in long run.
alastor was ‘kind’ enough to give you an allowance. $200 every week for groceries and whatever you may need. he’s even so kind as to let you have some ‘private bonding’ with noah and emilia as they accompany you to the farmer’s market.
thankfully, you had a father who wanted to make his little girl survived even without a husband. and so, you had to hear all of his ramblings about finance. saving about 45% each week for 3 years… was about $14,000!
if you saved just a little more, you’d be semi-financially independent until you can get a proper job to take care of your children. it was run-away money, so to speak.
you hid the money in noah’s room. after all, who would expect money there? especially $14,000? and, it worked, for a while. every monday, while you tucked him into bed, you brought the money with you and hid it behind his dresser.
until, what had seemed like a normal tuesday. you came home from the tailor’s, getting back a dress that noah accidentally tore. when you came home, it was only two hours after noon. and despite that, alastor was home.
“a-alastor..! what are you doing home so early? you have a broadcast in 2 hours…” you narrowed your eyes at alastor, on the floor with your children, many new toys surrounding them. “ah, darling! i decided to pick up our children early, and we may have splurged on our little shopping spree…” he smugly grinned. “oh..? where’d you get the money?” you raised your eyebrow, closing the door and laying your bearings on the dining table.
“funniest story ever, my love! there was a random stash of money in noah’s room! seems as if the tooth fairy came early!” he laughed. random stash of money in noah’s room..? “oh. i see.” your breath stopped for a minute, thinking of what kind of consequences could come from it.
“do you have any idea how that money landed there?” he side-eyed you, expecting a lie. “perhaps it was from the old owners? you know this house, there’s so many secrets in here.” you said. “i see… i suppose you are right, darling!” he giggled.
you were back on square one. financially dependent on your husband, if you could even call him ‘husband’. as you climbed up the stairs, you heard alastor whisper to your son. “you see that? momma lied. she got less talkative when papa asked her a question.”
this is what alastor’s been teaching your son. as much as you want to protest, you did lie.
oh, how much you wished for much more simpler times. playing with your baby boy in the kitchen as you make little treats together for his snack at school. and now, the boy alastor’s turning him into— a cunning sociopath, the lord only knows what he will teach your daughter.
this is just a minor setback, it has to be.
#I WORD DUMPED OMFG#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel#alastor#alastor x reader#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#hasbin alastor#alastor hazbin x reader#alastor hc#alastor headcanons#human alastor#alastor the radio demon#yandere alastor#yandere hazbin hotel#yandere
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prince caspian, inspired by 'I see the light' from tangled also imagine on the dawn threader at night under the moon and the stars
anything else is up to you
I See The Light
pairing: Dawn Treader!King Caspian x gn!reader warnings: a little bit of pining, very intense eye-contact, maybe perhaps some kissing... maybe even perhaps things getting just a little bit more heated... not quite nsfw, but there's some implying summary: you're staring at the moon and stars; Caspian is staring at you a/n: thank you so much for requesting this, I absolutely LOVE Tangled and I've recently come back into my King Caspian Narnia hyperfixation. Also, this is techically not the first time I've written something like this, but definitely one of the better things I've written wc: 1.3k
The only light, besides that of the moon, that illuminates your path to the railing of the Dawn Treader is the lantern at the helm, where a faint flame is dancing in its little cage.
For the first time since you've left the harbour, the midnight sky is fully clear, not a cloud that dares to blanket the twinkling stars or the silver glow of the moon. It's colder than usual, a light breeze blows against your cheek.
You lean down on the railing, resting your head in the palm of your hand as you look up at the sky. For some reason, there's something mesmerising about the way the moon casts a silver glow across the water, how the stars form constellations that only exist because someone decided to connect the dots to make some sense of it all.
You're too caught up in your own head to hear the door to below deck open. And so Caspian, King of Narnia, finds you staring out into the midnight sky. He leans against the doorframe with his arms crossed, a smile adorns his lips. His eyes skim over your figure, taking in every detail as the wind lightly ruffles your hair.
For a moment, he just stands there, not wanting to disturb you. After some time, he carefully approaches you. You hadn't noticed him at first, but after a while, you had felt his eyes burning in your back. So when he came to stand beside you, you weren't entirely startled.
"Can't sleep?" Caspian asks softly, not looking you in the eyes just yet and instead looks up at the sky as well.
"Oh, I'm sure I could if I bothered to try," You answer, "It's just that the sky hasn't been this clear ever since we sailed out of the harbour."
"It also hasn't been this cold ever since we sailed out of the harbour," He remarks, "A simple shirt won't keep you warm enough."
"Oh please, I'm fine," You say, even though you're unable to hide the shiver as it runs down your spine. "Besides, shouldn't you be fast asleep in your bed?"
The king lets out a dry chuckle and shakes his head. "Perhaps, but luckily for me, I don't have to follow orders," He says, his gaze drifting towards you now, "You, on the other hand, would be wise to do so. You should go to bed, get some rest."
You playfully roll your eyes. "I'll go to bed shortly," You say, looking back at him as well now. "You know, you're welcome to stay here for a while, Your Majesty."
"Oh, don't go calling me by my title now, we're past that," He says, finally being able to properly look you in the eyes. "Please, just call me Caspian. Also, thank you for allowing me to stay on my own ship."
"Alright, I didn't mean it like that," You respond as you lightly chuckle and shake your head, "I just didn't want you to think you couldn't be here because I was already here, even though it's your ship, which you said and... I'm rambling, aren't I?"
Caspian looked at you with a light smile on his lips, his eyes trained on yours. "You are, but please, don't stop on my account," He says, moving almost unnoticably closer. "Really, do continue, please."
"Oh, okay, uhm..." It didn't make sense why your mind suddenly went completely blank. There was no reason for your cheeks suddenly feeling warm and turning a bright red. "What... what did you want to talk about?"
"Oh, anything, really," Caspian answered, the silver light of the moon reflecting in his eyes. "That wasn't an order, by the way. I just... really love it when you talk."
"Good to know," You say softly, averting your eyes for a moment before looking back up at the midnight sky. "So... the sky is beautiful tonight, isn't it?"
"Yes, it truly is." If you had looked at him, you would've seen Caspian's eyes were still trained on you rather than the sky. "The way the moon and stars cast their silver glow is... truly mesmerising."
Despite the chilled breeze that glides over the ship and the silence between them, the atmosphere is strangely comfortable and relaxed. Time seems to stand still, stretching the minutes into an eternity as the two of you continue to gaze up at the midnight sky.
After Aslan knows how long, Caspian softly speaks up again. "Have I ever told you why I love being at sea so much?"
You avert your gaze from the stars to look at him. "No, but please, do tell."
"Back in the palace," He begins, "everyone and everything always seems to be in such a hurry. And despite all of that, I feel like I'm doing nothing but chasing down daydreams until the days just... blur together.
"But out here, everything is so peaceful. The gentle rocking of the ship, the glow of the starlight... suddenly, everything is crystal clear, like I've finally found what I'm supposed to do."
You softly smile as you listen intentively, resting your head on the palm of his hand. After a while, Caspian looks at you in slight confusion, raising an eyebrow.
"What?" He asks, letting out a soft chuckle.
"Oh, nothing," You say, your smile turning into the lightest of smirks as you continue, "I just... really love it when you talk."
Caspian let out another chuckle as he shakes his head. "Using my own words against me, are you now?" He comments teasingly, leaning in just a little bit closer. "Are you sure it's a good idea to challenge your king?"
"Didn't you say that we were past using your title?" You raise an eyebrow at him, daring enough to take a small step closer as well. "And if not, what will you do? Exile me?"
"Oh no, my dear, I wouldn't dream of it." The world seemed to somehow shift into a blur as the back of his fingers lightly brushes against your cheek, creating a contrast between the warmth of his touch and the chilled gusts of the wind. "Has anyone ever told you your eyes are as bright as the stars above?"
The light touch of his hand and his soothing words managed to knock the breath out of your lungs, the way he gazed into your eyes left you in a trance-like state. If your eyes were as bright as the stars, his were brighter than a thousand suns with the intensity he was looking at you.
Slowly, carefully, an invisble force seemed to push the two of you closer together until there were mere millimeters between your lips. And then, time seemed to freeze into a moment of uncertainty, even though the electricity could be sliced with a knife.
"Tell me to stop," Caspian breathed, his hand resting on your cheek as those brown eyes bored into yours. "My Starlight, tell me to stop. I won't be able to hold back."
"Don't stop... don't hold back."
And that was all he needed to hear before closing the distance between you. In his defense, he really intended on holding back on the intensity, but as soon as those words had fallen from your lips, he was done for.
One hand snaked around your waist, pulling you flush against his body while his older hand held steadily onto your face. Your hands crept into his hair, your fingers softly running through the strands, earning yourself a soft groan falling from his lips.
His grip on your waist tightens slightly, the fervour in his kiss grows a little stronger. "Please," He whispers against your lips, nearly sounding like a desperate plea.
"Okay..." You respond breathlessly, letting him pull you towards the stairs leading to below deck.
© This work belongs to @oneawkwardwriter, please do not copy this work to any other site or claim it as your own. Reblogs are allowed and appreciated!
Taglist: @unofficialxmarvelfreak
(to join the taglist, simply leave a comment or message me!)
#writeblr#x reader fics#divider by saradika#oneawkwardwriter fics#prince caspian#prince caspian x reader#prince caspian x reader fic#prince caspian fic#king caspian#king caspian x reader#king caspian x reader fic#i see the light tangled#requested by anon#oneawkwardwriter asks
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Billy is autistic ♾
Just me rambling about an headcanon I take wayyyy too seriously :)
Hyperfixation : horror movies (obviously)
He just keeps talking about it. All the time.
Like
Also him using his hands while talking in this scene
(There's also something to be said about him mentioning the queer actors and not the 'straight' characters but that will be for another post-)
Also in the phone call where we're sure it's him :
(If he was the one calling Casey then there's even more-)
Also him just constantly talking with movie-related things : "It was edited for TV- all the good stuff was cut out", "nice solid R rating, on our way to a NC-17", "lately we're just sort of edited for television", "Maybe your movie-freaked mind lost it's reality button","It's all a movie, it's all...one great big movie.Only you can't pick your genre","I think she wants a motive","I don't really believe in motive, Sid.", "See it's a lot scarier when there's no motive Sid", "Is that motive enough for you ?", "How's that for a motive ?", "Just pretend it's all a scary movie Sid...How do you think it's gonna end ?", "Perfect ending.", "Now Sid, don't you blame the movies. Movies don't create psychos, movies make psychos more creative !" and basing his killing spree on horror movie tropes : phone calls, masked killer, virgins being the final girls (literally having sex with Sidney to fulfill the trope), 'no motive' etc...
2. Abnormal posture
3. Staring (last 2 photos, both scenes in Sidney's room, police station scene...basically when there's Sid) or excessive blinking (doorway scene, kitchen scene...(basically when there's Stu)
4. Plans and changements
Billy (and Stu) planned their entire killing spree (from the dates it would be on : surrounding the one year anniversary of Maureen's death, to the person they would frame and his supposed motive as well as Casey and Steve's murders with the phone call, the attack at Sidney's house, Billy's incarceration, Stu's phone call following it, Billy's fake death, kidnapping Neil before his flight and using his phone, hiding his car, using a voice changer, stabbing each other to seem like victims, the party etc...)
When Billy's (and Stu's) plans get changed (Dewey, Gale and Kenny being present, Sid escaping the kitchen with her dad and Stu losing too much blood), Billy panics and goes into what could be defined as a meldown : throwing out insults, walking in circles, never going to check on the first floor, destroying Stu's living room and just panicking all around-
(When he fails getting Sidney to trust him and makes her escape to the toilets, he punches himself in frustation)
5. Insociability
Basically doesn't talk in the fountain scene
Awkward and Unsettling while talking, even to his friends
Doesn't pay attention to girls being interested in him
Doesn't seem at ease with the number of people leaving the party
(Even fidgeting though that may be just be him checking that the people are leaving for real)
6. Overdramatic
7. Favorite person/people
Okay this one's not that common in autistics but for Billy, he definitely has a special person, two in fact :
He literally started killing because his mom "moved out and abandoned" him.
For Stu, I will be vague cause I'll talk about it in detail in the other post 👀but basically he's not really himself unless Stu's there and planned a killing spree where only they would survive (+ trusted him to stab him).
Bonus : If Billy is the one who called Casey
"I only eat popcorn at the movies" Well I'm getting ready to watch a video "Really what ?" Oh, just some scary movie "You like scary movies ?" Huhuh "What's your favorite scary movie ?" Hum- I don't know... "You have to have a favorite, what comes to mind ?" Hum...Halloween ! You know the one with the guy in the white mask who walks around and stalks babysitters. "Yeah." What's yours ? "Guess." Hum- Nightmare on Elm Street ! "Isn't that the one where the guy had knives for fingers ?" Yeah, Freddy Krueger. "Freddy, that's right. I liked that movie.It was scary." Well the first one was but the rest sucked."
"It's an easy category : movie trivia"
"Come on, it's your favorite scary movie, remember ? He had a white mask, he stalked the babysitters"
"Then you should know Jason's mother, Mrs Vorhees, was the original killer ! Jason didn't show up until the sequel."
And that's it ! A complete analysis of what could be considered autistic traits from Billy that got way too long-
#scream#scream franchise#scream 1996#billy loomis#stu macher#sidney prescott#stuilly#autistic headcanon
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First Enbrel injection tonight.
Why couldn't insurance just let me do Taltz 😭
I'm going to try and distract myself from the anxiety of worrying about if it will work or not or if I'll get hit with side effects since it's a new med for me by trying to just think about Roman Roy and watch my boyfriend play Kingdom Hearts. lol
#oh hyperfixation we're really in it now#i have health anxiety and because im a nurse i know too much about potential side effects#and while i can tell anyone else the potential risks but assure them there's nothing to worry about#and chances of a serious reaction are rare and the most likely effects are mild and can go away as the body gets used to it#when it comes to ME personally i freak out and think about the worst outcomes to the point where i actually give myself the issues#and have panic attacks 🙃#so... maybe i should take my own advice? but that would be silly.#don't get psoriasis or psoriatic arthritis kids it fucking sucks
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Alright real talk now without sassiness bc the whole anti thing against beetlebabes has me thinking about self-indulgent fantasy as a literary/storytelling device and it's something I've been thinking about with different medias lately, so this is topical ig for my current hyperfixation. Specifically I've been thinking about fantasy disavowal and the role that plays in self-indulgent/self-insert type fantasy stories, whether canon or extrapolated within fanfic. I first really learned about this concept in name from this video from contrapoints, so I have to give her credit for discussing this and explaining to me how it works in a way that blew my mind apart at the time, and I think it's the sort of thing that puts a lot of what goes on in self-indulgent fantasy stories into a different perspective, particularly when we're trying to evaluate said stories under an IRL moral microscope (and is why that approach pretty much never works or applies within this kind of story)
(Semi-long post under the cut where I mention Harry Potter as an example of a literary device- as I say within the writeup, I do not condone or support JKR or her beliefs and this is not an endorsement of her but rather a well-known example I think most people will recognize. Be aware if it's triggering for you. I also mention Twilight lol, incase that's an issue. It takes me a minute to get to Beetlejuice/Beetlebabes but I promise this is all relevant to my point, your honors)
Recently I saw a discussion within a Twilight fan group I'm in (yes I'm a Twilight fan and a rattie iykyk) about how toxic certain characters behavior would be IRL, particularly in the way several of them have a habit of making choices for Bella against her will, gifting her with things she's said she didn't want and insisting she use/wear them, etc etc. As a former Twilight hater (cuz I used to be that too many years ago!!!) I knew where they were coming from in being critical of these characters and calling them toxic, because in any other setting that would absolutely be true. Within fantasy disavowal, however, these 'toxic' behaviors are actually a way for the reader/writer (who is living vicariously through the main character) to have the main character get what they think she should have and want her to have without compromising her character or the integrity of the fantasy. Bella Swan, for example, is meant to be modest, selfless, 'not like other girls' and usually uncomfortable with bringing too much attention to herself (which makes her relatable to those who would live vicariously through her story), but of course many of those reading WANT her to have a big wedding and traditional dress anyway so that's where, for example, Alice's insistence she have those things comes into play. Yes, IRL that would be controlling, obsessive, weird, and a complete disregard of someone's wishes and boundaries but in a self-insert fantasy that tactic serves an important role to the purpose and point of the setting. WELL if you INSIST, Alice, I guess I'll just take your very generous and expensive gifts and deal with it, sigh, oh WELL!!! /s In that sense it's less demeaning and more empowering, if you're viewing it from the pov of someone wanting to immerse themselves in the fantasy.
Another example of where this is kinda used in self-insert fantasy is Harry Potter (and many others like it, and this isn't to condone JKR's terfism, this is just the example I think most people will recognize), wherein the children reading are meant to want to live vicariously through Harry and his friends and their adventures. For those children reading (and I know bc I was one once lol) the idea of being in a dangerous environment that the adults don't really shield them from entirely is very cool, it gives them a sense of independence and self-sufficiency and a sense of 'trust' from the fictional adults in their abilities to take care of themselves. From an adult's perspective now, particularly one with a child of first-year age, it's seemingly horrific how neglectful and reckless the adults in that series are with the wellbeing of the children they're responsible for (like, idk, sending a bunch of 11 year olds into the known death forest for their first detention sentence, at night, while knowing some beast is eating unicorns in said forest). But of course, within the story this constant, casual endangerment of children is never really brought up as an issue or as a reflection of some kind of immortality in the adults responsible for them as it would IRL, because it serves the purpose of self-indulgent fantasy for the children reading. It's not MEANT to be seen as a moral failing or child endangerment AT ALL so much as just the adults characters getting the fuck out of the way so the kids can have fun- unless it's like Umbridge doing it, who is established as an villain and immoral even in that setting from the jump. (And again this isn't a defend JKR post, just an explanation/example of what I'm talking about) IDK if this qualifies as fantasy disavowal perse, but it's a similar phenomenon of how behaviors -particularly those of supporting characters- can seem immoral/toxic under a real world lens but within the story serves a purpose to the reader living through the fantasy.
The way this relates to Beetlebabes for me is mostly fanon focused, but I think there are elements of disavowal in the canon as well. A lot of us who ship beetlebabes feel a kinship to Lydia in some way or another, especially those of us who watched the first film and cartoon as we ourselves were coming of age (and also probably weirdo goth kids too at the same time, I definitely was lol) and while it obviously isn't a fantasy for everyone, for a lot of us the idea of a 600-year old demon choosing and becoming obsessed with our weirdo asses BECAUSE of our weirdness is really cool actually lmao. To others, Beej pursuing Lydia so ardently against her outspoken disavowal can only be seen as intentionally toxic because they're not part of the fantasy, nor do they want to be, so seeing the merits (and empowerment) of his pursuit within this setting is beyond them. And of course, there's something to be said for the inherent nature of gothic romance as a setting, as well as the fact that movieverse Beetlejuice isn't really meant to be the pinnacle of moral direction in real life, it's meant to be a creepy, kooky dark comedy that pushes the boundaries of societal norms (not unlike what we do in the shadows). As others have said, this also isn't unlike the film Labyrinth much at all, though I RARELY see anyone coming after the Jareth/Sarah ship despite Sarah being a child in the film and Jareth being, yknow, also an ancient spirit of some kind. Perhaps because most people better understand how Labyrinth functions as a self-insert fantasy, that Jareth's obsession with Sarah is meant to be an empowering thing within that context for the young people like Sarah watching it, not an endorsement of IRL predatory behavior (ofc, Jareth being mostly a creation of Sarah's might aid with the sense of her power over the situation).
Honestly, I think it's also true for a lot of people against Beetlebabes that they identify with Lydia too, but in a way that doesn't include wanting a 600-year old demon to be obsessed with them (you do you boo, more of him to go around ig lmaooo), but instead of seeing and accepting the merits of Beej's obsession in this other kind of fantasy, they instead choose to apply real-world morals onto not only the story but the people who enjoy this story as well as their personal discomfort demands. For as much as they want to accuse others of 'not having media literacy' for shipping it, they sure jump right over the point of this literary/storytelling device. And to that end, I can't wholly blame them, because it was only within the last few years that I really realized and accepted how this works too- but I'm doing my best to explain it now, for whomever is interested.
I guess what I'm ultimately trying to say is that self-insert/self-indulgent type fantasy stories are, by design, not meant to be viewed through a real-world moral lens. The entire point of them is to transport a reader/viewer into a world where real-life doesn't apply, where someone like them is loved and obsessed over for the things that they are often disparaged for IRL and within a context where they (and the main character) still hold the reigns of control, as Lydia does over Beetlejuice time and time again (despite being a powerful 600 year old demon Beej sure lets his wife kick him around a lot, doesn't he???). It's not meant to be an endorsement or romanticization or even a depiction of IRL immorality either, as that would ruin the effect of the fantasy.
So yeah, I feel like trying to evaluate most of these stories in a real-world moral context is a fundamental misunderstanding of how this kind of storytelling works- that's not to say one can't evaluate them that way if they want, and sometimes (like other things used within the HP series) it's due, but I think it definitely becomes an issue when this 'moral evaluation' turns into one of the people who enjoy the fantasy too. The fictional flights of fancy that people like to immerse themselves into are just that; fantasy. And what's more, different people like living vicariously through different kinds of fantasies, different people are going to find different things empowering in said stories and just because one thing feels empowering for one person but demeaning to another should not mean the former person is immoral and gross in real life or would even want these things to happen in real way.
I keep trying to wrap this post up and failing, but that's basically it. I'm posting this because I know others will probably have way more intellectual insight and feedback to add about this kind of storytelling and I just think it's really fascinating to talk about. What do yall think?
#beetlebabes#beetlelyds#ive just been rotating this concept around for awhile and lo and behold it's relevant to my other hyperfixation#hoping to hear more opinions about this bc i think it's really interesting tbh
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Ride The Cyclone x FNAF AU
now, i've been very hyperfixated on fnaf ever since it came out (but let's be real, its probably a special interest at this point), and you know, when you get a new interest, you can't help but merge it to your other ones and make a crazy au, so i've been thinking about assigning each animatronic with a ride the cyclone character, just for fun, but then i got to really think about it.
we all know that in five nights at freddy's we have the five missing children, and these children get killed by william afton, stuffed into the animatronic suits, and then they come and haunt the pizzeria because they're restless souls.
in ride the cyclone, we have six teenagers who die a tragic death, probably restless as well, as it seems like they haven't gone to the afterlife yet, at least not properly, as they've been "robbed of their individuality from a mass tragedy" as stated by karnak.
SO
of course, me being a noel gruber fanatic, i thought of who he'd be first, and well i was thinking, there's two parallel theories in these two medias that i like very much.
the deaths of them.
specifically, two kids dying at the same time, or well, with each other.
in fnaf, there's a well known theory/famous headcanon that freddy/gabriel and bonnie/jeremy were killed at about the same time and place, hence why there's a lot of imagery and stuff of the two together.
now, who else do we know have a certain theory in rtc that eludes to them dying with each other?
to be honest i just think freddy as misha is kinda funny..
but anyways, so we have two, how about the other four?
foxy as ricky.
idk, i just think it's neat. foxes are felines in a way. also him being a pirate (as stated by moni when i ws cooking this up) fits as well.
i also made a connection of foxy (animatronic) being out of order all the time because he keeps having malfunctions. with ricky having a degenerative disease.. you get it.
up next is chica.
well, this one's pretty obvious to me, constance!
ite the cupcakes, i swear. but also, chica's image has always been the bubbly one, this being more shown in security breach. she just fits
now, you might be wondering.. what about ocean? what about jane/penny?
hear me out on this
this one is the one comparison i am MOST confident about.
cassidy as ocean.
a vengeful spirit, one that is most restless, most determined, most mad about the murders.
don't you think that'd be fitting for ocean?
she'd be ambitious, she wouldn't just let go of william just like that. she wants to bring him hell.
also, as stated by ocean herself:
idk, just funny.
now, for the last one, you might be thinking oh, jane/penny must be the puppet then, because we're talking about the murdered children.
now, hear me out on this
the crying child.
"whyy in hell would penny be the crying child nymbus?"
you might be wondering
and i have one answer, a very definitive answer.
a kid, losing his head, or, well, getting his frontal lobe bitten off, but let's not get into the specifics here.
it would make sense, it makes the MOST sense, as equal of a sense as ocean being cassidy. GOD it fits so well.
so, we have the six main children now:
freddy - misha
bonnie - noel
chica - constance
foxy - ricky
golden freddy - ocean & jane/penny
(i also have a note about ezra being michael, and him being a human puppet to ennard, but yk)
soo, what do you guys think? :)
#ride the cyclone#rtc#five nights at freddy's#fnaf#ocean o'connell rosenberg#ricky potts#noel gruber#misha bachynskyi#mischa bachinski#constance blackwood#penny lamb#jane doe rtc#freddy fazbeaf#bonnie the bunny#chica the chicken#foxy the pirate#golden freddy#crying child#cassidy fnaf#HEAR ME OUT!!!#rtc x fnaf au
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I saw you reblogged a post talking about how apologetic the brothers have been with the celestial relm and i couldn't agree more. It's actually the main gripe I have with this season so far.
Now listen. I don't write fanfiction as much as I like reading it but if this season goes in THAT direction Istg I'm gonna pick up a pen write a fix it fic and write this season CORRECTLY. For the sake of this fandom and my sanity
Oh pls do, it might really need to be rewritten because it definitely hasn't been going well so far... (。ŏ﹏ŏ)
I mean, the silly and wholesome moments between the characters have been fun and all but overall these new lessons have felt so weird because of this. Like, this CR stuff is just wacky (for lack of a better term)
First it was the whole "Father was actually being loving this entire time" thing with Lucifer (I'm getting war flashbacks just from thinking about it lol) and now they're all going "yeah, we're cool with the Celestial Realm and we're happy going back there" as if before NB they hadn't spent the whole game expressing conflicting feelings towards the CR or feeling straight up disconnected from it
I'm not going to say much about it now though because I'm planning on making a separate (maybe long) post where I go through my thoughts and frustrations with the way the story is going when it comes to this
Just know that this is me right now:
When you hyperfixate on a game about a demon family working through their religious trauma together and said game turns around to say "actually let's forget their lifelong traumas, they actually miss heaven and are okay going back there" and you-
You catch my drift
#obey me#obey me nightbringer#omnb#obey me nightbringer spoilers#omnb season 3#obey me!#//inbox#☙ no creativity for names ✾
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Not to be sappy on the tumblr dot org, but at the beginning of this year, I literally began to question if I was ever going to really write again. If maybe I just didn't love it anymore and I'd been wrong for years thinking it was something I would do for the rest of my life. That maybe somehow I'd just grown out of it at some point, or I just didn't have enough room in my head for it anymore.
Which is wild because I've been writing stories since I was six or seven. Like they taught Tiny Me how to form sentences in first grade and she took that pencil and ran with it. (My first ever story I remember writing was a Charlotte's Web fix-it fic btw, I'm not joking) But that's how much writing means to me, I'm twenty years into this now. It's been with me all this time, and in January I would've told you I didn't even want to try to write anymore.
It was maybe the most I've ever questioned my own sense of self, because I'd been forcing myself to write for almost four full years at that point and never felt that same sense of joy I used to when writing. I kept hitting my head against a word document trying to remember what I thought was so wonderful about this, and again and again I was disappointed and gave up.
And yet a few months and one (honestly kinda silly) hyperfixation later and I've written around 105-110,000 words just this summer. That's a full-length novel. That's more than I've written in the last four years combined. By a lot.
And the amount of joy it's brought me again? Just to remember what made me love writing in the first place? It's like stumbling over the other half of my personality I've been missing and going- Oh, there you are! Let's go, dude, we've got stuff to do!
All of this rambling to say, if you've lost the spark for that thing that you thought you'd always do forever, even if it takes almost four years like it did with me, give it time and give yourself some grace. Life sucks sometimes, we're all tired, and it takes a period of dormancy for your brain to rest up and recharge.
And then when you do find that weird or silly or angsty or whatever Spark of Inspiration, take that little guy and run with it. Go build it into a bonfire or wherever this metaphor is going. Have fun and revel in the joy of it again. Ignore anyone who tries to tell you that you're doing it wrong, it's your bonfire, dude. Toast some marshmallows or something, you deserve it.
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DCRC Week #01
Hello DCRC! I know everyone is technically on week 14 now, so I hope you don't mind a late entry. I may or may not have gained a new hyperfixation lately.
With that said, let's get into the very first issue!
These guys really love their beak-shaped architecture huh. Do you think they find earthlings slightly more superior to Xerbians because at least some of them have beaks? Imagine if we put human mouths on every vehicle and building we created. Actually, don't imagine that, I just tried it and I hate it. Let's never do that ever.
jhkj he thinks he's so cool. Are you going for brooding and mysterious or are you just cold up there? It looks like he's wearing a blankie.
You know, having read a few issues ahead it actually surprises me how little we see of coolflames in the next issues. Sure, they're brought up but 90% of the time when PK is fighting anyone it's always just Evronian warriors. You'd think they'd throw in at least a couple of coolflames to boost their numbers, if nothing else.
They've got some pretty neat powers too. Or is that just whatever species these guys used to be? Are these guys not originally from earth? I thought they'd started coolflaming some Duckburg residents already, but maybe not?
He really just went home with a "huh. That was weird. Oh well." after all that.
So we're just gonna throw a tarp over those and call it a day then? Extreme nonchalance runs in the family apparently.
Lyla. Honey. Lyla what have they done to you. Why is your face shaped like that. Why are you so square. You look like you've swallowed a boomerang Lyla I am so sorry.
Wow hold on, is Angus actually pulling a big brain move here? Bringing up the Anxieties story and telling Donald about the supposed disappearance so he'll tell PK? His boss can't blame him for investigating PK OR the disappearance if PK shows up at the party and gets involved with both!
Oh never mind. They're just dumb. That's what I get for giving Angus credit. RIP.
THERE HE IS THERE'S MY BOY!!! HI UNO I LOVE YOU WELCOME TO THE PARTY!!
Have you ever considered not giving your creations claws, teeth or angry eyes maybe? I feel like that might help.
I can't decide what's funnier. If Uno's already messing with him or if he really was just going to shoot him on the spot, no questions asked.
He really said "I need to make fun of you in every color of the rainbow at once for this one."
Uh ohh, interrupted the world's worst sleepover
by the way, whats this funky little pose all the coolflames keep doing?? Do the raptorhands come with being coolflamed or are these guys just like that? Good for them.
I love how much they're immediately trusting each other and working together. Uno lets Donald run off with Ducklair's tech even though he's never heard of him until today. He even goes out of his way to make him breakfast! And Donald telling him about his nephews right away. I'm sure Uno could have found out about them on his own if he really wanted to, but the fact that Donald trusts him with his identity right away says a lot.
Also those tiny PK nephews are adorable. Get them their own little outfits STAT. At least for Halloween or something!
Look at him go!! I'm so proud of him, he's doing so well. Plus Uno in the background hitting that guy over the head with his little statue, I see you.
Well. That's embarrassing.
Go give your new boyfriend a smack on his bubble Donald, he worked hard too! He deserves one!
He says, as if he didn't JUST find out about any of this a few hours ago.
SQUARE LYLA JUMPSCARE
He thinks he's so cool. But alright, just this once, he's earned it.
Angus starts his career as professional slanderer. Nobody is happy about this.
And we end with Uno lying to Donald to make sure he gets a good nights sleep and doesn't get abducted by aliens. What a pal.
And that's our first issue! Really fun setup, we got to meet our main cast of characters, and square Lyla will not haunt me again after this issue so all's well that ends well. It's fun looking back and seeing PK still finding his footing with both his new friend, his new gear and his new enemies, especially when compared to later issues when he's gotten much more used to all three.
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bestie!! Can you tell me about your book, Land of Tales? I may have just stalked the tag for a solid forty minutes and I’m dying to know more (I LOVE me some good fairytale retellings)
BESTIE I LOVE YOU FOR SENDING ME THIS ASK I'm so so honored?? Thank you so much!! (also same we love fairy tale retellings they're amazing)
OKAY SO! I'm gonna give you a brief overview of the book in case you didn't see what it's about, then I'll do some fun facts because I deserve it as a treat and I'm hyperfixating on my own book series right now (and also Valiant. Minor detail. LET'S MOVE ON)
The main plot: My girl Rebecca Wood lives on Earth, but never knew her parents. She discovers at the beginning of the book that she, and the family she never knew, is from the fairy tale world, and so she goes there with the help of this socially awkward cinnamon roll, Liam. We love Liam, and we feel bad about the amount of Horrors I put him through, including but not limited to social interactions and torture
The rest of the book is basically Rebecca and Liam's travels through Avena (fairy tale world) meeting fairy tale characters and evading the evil Empress Goldilocks (who has magic plants and fairy tale princesses for assassins). And there are more books. Or there will be. Four overall in the main series, two prequels, umm... *pauses to count* okay yeah there are a lot of stories post canon. And I've already written a handful of short stories for fun and profit!
And now it's fun facts about some of the characters time:
Cinderella is, as mentioned, an assassin! She has fabulous fashion taste, glass shoes that can morph into any shoe type she wants, and is incredibly sadistic. Her husband Gavin is what would happen if Jean-Ralphio Saperstein, Schimdt from New Girl, and Oscar from The Rookie were fused into one incredibly vain, lazy person who wore a lot of capes
Jack from Jack and the Beanstalk is a pirate (occasionally of the sky). He's married to a future seer who basically tricked him into taking her hostage the first time they met, and has two kids. They are utter gremlins and we love them
Alec and Risha, who I've been talking about lately, are from Camelot. Risha's dad is Sir Gareth, aka Gawain's cool brother. In my series, the people of Camelot have Australian accents because why not?
OH MY GOSH I JUST THOUGHT OF A CHARACTER I HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT ON HERE okay his name is Bob. It's short for uhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm gonna be straight with y'all I don't remember his full name. It's really long. But he's the Magic Mirror from Snow White! He's a cursed prince who likes shipping his best friend with her love interest, and boba tea (if it exists in this universe. I shall ponder this) and he's just a little chaos gremlin and I would die for him
Somehow, every single ship in this series is enemies to lovers (except Alec and Risha, slow burn friends to idiots in love my beloved) and it's really funny to me. They're all different flavors of enemies to lovers, too. We've got "coworkers who annoy the crap out of each other to lovers", "I tried to kill your friends that one time and am involved in the organization that killed your brother but now we're working together and technically I'm engaged but it's a engagement of convenience and we're connecting to lovers", and one of my personal favorites, "you forced me to take you hostage that one time and now I'm stuck with you which is really annoying to lovers". There are, believe it or not, others
One more fun fact for the road: I have a book planned that's set after the series, and it's a combination of no less than three fairy tales at once. Possibly more, for all I know
Oh, and actually last of all! The first book in the series, which I shall not reveal the title of just yet because DRAMA, is finished! All polished up and shiny, and I'm currently looking into publishing options and cover artists! (also my girl a.spice is doing illustrations I can't wait for you guys to see them they're incredible)
#thanks for the ask!!#this was super fun to answer#land of the tales#if you have more questions about specific characters let me know#i should really do a writing ask game but for my characters. that would be a lot of fun#hazel rambles about her original writing
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