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bbdaydreams · 4 years ago

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Courage My Love// Semi Eita

Pairing: Semi Eita x Reader

Summary: You like Semi and come up with a plan to confess to him, unfortunately it takes a turn. You meet again a couple years later by chance.

Chapter Two: How Do You Feel?

Series Masterlist•<previous•next>

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The moment you were allowed to leave the auditorium you made your way back to your dorm. A couple people would stop to congratulate you on your win, some being complete strangers. They were nice and thoughtful but right now you weren’t in the right mindset to interact with others. You held your trophy close to your chest so it wouldn’t get damaged but also draw minimal attention mumbling a quick “thank you” from time to time.

“Y/n!” Tendou called your name when you were made it to the building that your dorm was located. You turned to face him and waited for him to catch up. When he made it to you his first instinct was to wipe your tears. “C’mon, no more tears,” he said softly before opening the door to let you in first.

When you made it to your dorm Tendou made his way to his spot on the edge of your bed while you set the guitar case down and put the award somewhere on your desk. Walking to your bed you immediately threw your covers up before getting under them and cocooning yourself with them.

Tendou met you about halfway through your first years when you interrupted their practice to drop something off for Semi. He didn’t know his friend had such a pretty friend. When you asked for Semi he immediately started his teasing which left you blushing, a look that Tendou found entertaining.

When you started getting closer with Semi, you also became more aquatinted with his friends as he did with yours. At first, you definitely thought Tendou was quite the oddball but you were quick to accept him as he was, it’s just Tendou things.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” the redhead spoke.

“I don’t get it. I thought we were closer than this. I don’t know what I’m more hurt by, the fact that he didn’t ask me to be his date or the fact that I had no idea he was even seeing someone.”

“I didn’t even know. Hell, even Wakatoshi was surprised when it wasn’t you he was asking!”

“God next week is gonna be so embarrassing,” you said now burying your face into your pillow.

“Hm? Why’s that?”

“We have our stupid dance next week! And we have that dumb dinner we all agreed to go to before we went to the stupid dance! Everyone is gonna have a date but me! Reon is going with his girlfriend, Ushijima has his date, Semi has miss mysterious, you have your date-“

“I don’t have anyone,” Tendou quickly cut you off.

You furrowed your eyebrows as you turned to look at him. “Why don’t you have a date?”

He shrugged his shoulders before responding, “I don’t know. I was gonna go by myself. I don’t mind being the odd man out.”

“I’ll be your date.”

Tendou turned and looked at you as if you were crazy. He leaned forward and squinted his eyes before leaning back. “Are you sick or something? Weren’t you crying over Semi and now you’re moving on that quick? I know I’m great but still that’s a little too quick for me doll face.”

You laughed as he spoke. “I am heart broken, but you still deserve to go to our last dance with a date. I don’t mind, I’ll go with you, what are friends for?” Once you realized what you said you where quick to apologize. “I mean, you don’t have to go with me if you don’t want to. I know you can ask someone else and they’ll say yeah, it was kinda selfish of me to just offer myself like that especially with all this going on.”

“I’ll take you up on your offer.”

The next morning you decided to text Izumi about her offer. It was the weekend so classes weren’t a huge focus, especially since the year was about to end.

“Girls! She texted!” Izumi exclaimed, raising her phone in the air with excitement.

“No way,” the girl with the attitude responded.

“That’s a good sign!” the soft spoken girl added. “What did she say?”

“She asked if we could talk more about the band.”

“Invite her over, Izumi!”

“Already did. She should be here soon.”

Walking towards the arts building you kept glancing at your phone every few steps. Why hasn’t he texted you? Does he not care about how hurt you were? Semi kept clouding your mind. You guys text regularly and you assumed he would’ve texted by now asking you if you were okay or even just saying a morning. Maybe you should text him first, you thought but that idea went out the window when you made it your destination. You put your phone away and opened the door to focus on finding the room that Izumi told you they’d be in.

When you found the room you knocked on the door waited for someone to answer. You heard voices on the other side for a bit until the door opened to reveal the bathroom girls.

“Welcome!” Izumi greeted, letting you into the room before closing the door behind you. “Thanks for coming, this is the practice room we managed to snag.”

“Hi,” you greeted her before looking at the other girls and saying hello to them as well.

“We didn’t properly introduce ourselves yesterday, now did we?” the main girl spoke. “I’m Yui.” She put her hand out for you two to shake.

“I’m Haruka,” the timid one spoke.

“It’s nice to meet you all.” You took a second to look around the room. It was a pretty much empty room with some supplies and desks but it was all pushed to one side of the room while the open space they created housed their instruments. “How’d you get this room? Eita usually has to go off campus to practice with his mates.”

“I’m close with the music teacher, so she pulled some strings and managed to do this for us,” Yui answered.

“Is Semi your ex?” Haruka asked innocently which made the girls eyes go wide.

“Haru, you can’t just-“

“It’s okay. And no he’s not my ex, we’re just friends. When you guys found me I was just overwhelmed,” you told them. They looked at each other as if using telepathy to communicate with each other. They must’ve unanimously decided not to press you further with their own curiosity and changed the subject.

“So, what kind of music do you listen to?”

“I listen to a little bit of everything but mainly pop punk I guess. It’s hard to label it. What about you guys?”

“I get that and we’re pretty much the same. Haruka is mostly into metal, but she still vibes with all the other stuff,” Izumi answered.

At this you had to laugh a bit. The most innocent and quiet looking one of the group, enjoyed heavy music. “Haruka, no way,” you told her while looking at her.

She leveled her eyes with yours before giving you a closed eye smile and speaking, “I love the lyrics and head banging. It’s fun.”

“I have to agree. What sound are you guys aiming for with the band?” You asked.

“Honestly anything. I don’t think we really have a sound yet, we kinda just play and mess around until we find something we like or we’ll give a topic and try to match something up with that makes sense. You mind listening for a second?” Yui asked making her way towards the bass.

“I’d love to” you responded before taking a seat on one of the empty desks. Izumi made picked up the electric guitar and Haruka sat on the stool behind the drums which was another surprise for you. Don’t judge a book by its cover, you reminded yourself.

Haruka gave the count down with her drum sticks before leading them into the song. Yui joined in and then Izumi followed after. Watching them was entertaining, Haruka’s hair was going all over the place you had to question how she was able to see. Yui seemed to enjoy swaying side to side while occasionally head banging while Izumi seemed a little stiff but was definitely enjoying themself. They seemed to be in sync with each other it made you worry that if you were to join if you would mess up their flow. When they finished they looked up to you.

“So what do you think?” Yui asked.

“I’d like to join, I just don’t wanna mess you guys up. You guys seem pretty in tune with each other are you sure you want me to join?”

The girls immediately started laughing making you question if you said something wrong.

“You’re funny, y/n,” Haruka giggled.

“We’ve been together for a year now and have been practicing almost daily which is why we’re at the level we are,” Izumi stated.

“Listen, yeah we’re alright but we need that missing piece which is you. And we’re picky. We’ve been looking for six months for a lead so when we saw your performance we knew we had to have you. We want you,” Yui added on.

You slipped off the desk and smiled at them before presenting a notebook you brought along with you. “Then I guess I’m in. This is my lyric book, basically what I have to offer besides my voice.”

Yui took the book and flipped through it while Izumi and Haruka looked over the writing as well. Yui and Izumi looked very concentrated while Haruka’s expression showed amazement.

“You’re good!”

“Dude, you’re definitely in. I can’t wait to perform these live in front of others!”

“Damn girly, you really are full of surprises.”

Blushing at their compliments you accepted your journal back. “Thank you, I’ve been writing since my first year.”

“Can I ask why there were some ripped pages?” Izumi asked.

“Oh, those were some songs I wrote for Eita’s band. I felt like they were more his style so I gave them to him.”

You guys continued chatting until it was around lunch time. They wished you goodbye and reminded you to come back tomorrow to start joining them for practice. You left the practice room with a smile on your face, excited for what the future held in store for your new band.

The week went by fast, you basically spent it writing more lyrics since all your school work was already done.

The school dance was tonight and so was the dinner that you were joining. You got out of the shower and threw on some sweats before making your way back to your dorm so that other girls could go take a shower to get ready.

“Hey, Y/n,” Yui greeted when she was stepping out of her dorm with a towel. “You getting ready?”

“Yeah, you’re going to the dance too right?” You told her, taking a step closer to the wall so others could walk by.

“Yep. I assume I’ll see you there. You’re going to that dinner thing with your friends first right?”

You nodded your head up and down. “Mhmm. I’ll probably part ways with them at the dance and try to find you and the others.”

“Sounds good. Remember, if anything happens, you have us to rely on. I know we barely know each other yet but we’re here for you,” she told you honestly. Yui may come off strong, but she really is a reliable human being. “I’m gonna try to find a shower head, see ya.”

When you made it back into your dorm you noticed a package in front of your door. Picking up and making your way inside you inspected it to make sure it was for you before opening it. The label read your name followed by the sender, Rarity Records. Your breath hitched.

You heard rumors that agencies were going to attend the talent show, but you weren’t sure you believed it. You carefully sliced the top of the package using a pair of scissors to unveil the contents. In the package you discovered a letter along with some snacks, stickers, and merch from artists that belonged to the label.

Dear L/n F/n,

We would like to congratulate you on your win last week! Your performance was beautiful and we believe you have a lot of talent. We’d like to invite you to join our label to help make you shine and prosper. Please contact us at this number. We await your call.

Sincerely,

Rarity Records

A label wants to sign you! Your wildest dream is on the verge of coming true! You had to tell someone!

“Oh my god, I have to text Eita,” you spoke aloud. Unplugging your phone from the charging cord and unlocking it, you quickly tapped on the conversation and typed out your message. You were about to hit send until you remembered the situation you were in.

Semi still hasn’t contacted you and it made you question if that concluded the end of your friendship. You’re well aware that you directly told him not to speak to you but at the end of the day it’s not like you yelled at him and made it into a huge argument. You missed your best friend. You know you should text him, he probably doesn’t even realize what’s wrong but you were hurting too much internally to reach out to him, even if it was exciting news that you know he’d congratulate you on.

You deleted the message and connected your phone back to it’s cord and made your way to your blow dryer. Once you finished drying your hair you went back to your phone to turn on some music to listen to while you get ready.

You sang along to the song and all the songs after that as you were getting ready. The last step was to put on the dress that you had. It was a stunning red dress with some gems and lace here and there but the glam wasn’t overwhelming.

“Knock, knock. Can I come in?” Tendou asked from behind your door.

“It’s locked and I’m getting dressed! give me a second!” you answered. You had the dress on, just couldn’t zip it up completely. Giving up on your attempts you made your way towards the door to let your friend in. “Hey,” you greeted when you opened the door.

Tendou’s back was leaning against your door before so when you opened it he stumbled back a bit but was quick to catch his balance. He pivoted and looked up from his phone only to be welcomed by your beauty. His eyes went wide before opening his mouth to speak. “I- you look, wow.”

You gave a small chuckle before attempting to greet him again. “Hi, Tendou.”

“Hi..” he answered, still mesmerized. “Sorry, you look really beautiful tonight.”

“Thank you. I was nervous about the bright red but it turned out really nice. Oh, do you mind zipping it up and clasping it for me?” You asked as you twirled around to expose your back to him. He raised his hands to do as you asked, careful not to get the zipper caught. When he was done you turned your body once again and closed your door to leave with him. “Let’s go, I’m starving,” you laughed as you grabbed his wrist to pull him towards the parking lot, failing to notice the bush on his face.

Tendou and you arrived a little late to the dinner due to the fact that you were having too much fun chatting in the car that he missed the turn three times, but eventually you arrived to your destination.

“You’re late, Tendou,” Ushijima said when you both arrived to the table.

“Only fifteen minutes. Here you go, Y/n,” Tendou spoke as he pulled out your chair for you.

“Oh, thank you,” you blushed as he helped you settle into the group. The lineup went as Ushijima’s date, Ushijima, Tendou, and you next to him. On the other side was Semi’s date, Semi, Reon, and then Reon’s girlfriend, the girlfriend being across from you.

Throughout the dinner you had a smile on your face. It was definitely awkward at first since it was the first time you were seeing Semi in the past week. You decided to communicate as little as you needed with him, not to make a point, but to be polite. You didn’t need to somehow ruin anyone’s night in any way. You were all together to have fun and enjoy the little time you all had left together in high school.

While you were enjoying yourself and chatting with the other’s, Semi found himself glancing at you every once in a while. He was right to believe you and Tendou had something going on, Tendou wouldn’t stop bringing you up to him during practice. Tendou always had something positive to say about you and now here he was, at dinner with you as his date.

Good for him, Semi thought to himself. Tendou finally made a move on you and got what he wanted. He was happy for his friends, but he felt uneasy. Why hadn’t you ever expressed your thoughts of his friend to him? You always called him your best friend but you never spoke about Tendou to him, only saying he was a nice guy if asked.

It made him question why you were so upset with him when you asked about his girlfriend. It’s not like you told him about Tendou which is why he didn’t see the need to tell you about his girl. He’d been wanting to talk to you about it but knowing how hot headed you both can be he opted to waiting for you to confront him first. He thought giving you time would be the best option.

“Semi, you should eat more before we go,” his date told him, distracting him from his thoughts.

“Oh, you’re right,” he responded before picking up his utensils to continue eating.

Taking one last glance at your form, he had to admit it was the prettiest he’s ever seen you. Your hair was done differently, your dress looked fitting, and the red really made you look hot. Your smile screamed that you were having a good time, a sight he missed seeing.

“The party has arrived!” Tendou spoke when your group entered the main doors of the gymnasium. You laughed at his silliness until Ushijima spoke.

“We should take pictures.”

“Good idea, buddy,” Tendou agreed. You all made your way over to some props and took turns taking pictures. Some were just the guys, the others just the girls, then group, followed by individual. Luck was favoriting you, you didn’t have to take pictures for Semi because him and Reon partnered up. You and Tendou did multiple poses, Tendou claiming you guys needed one from all angles, as Ushijima took pictures.

As you were getting your pictures taken, Semi was taking pictures for Reon. His eyes kept darting between both parties, lingering more on you than the couple directly in front of him. Semi was lucky his girlfriend didn’t notice but his friend sure did. Reon could tell how bad Semi wanted to talk to you and he couldn’t understand why he didn’t. Semi was never one to keep his thoughts to himself unless if it had potential to hurt someone else.

Reon excused himself from his girlfriend and explained what he was doing to which she responded with a nod. “Can we talk?” Reon asked Semi once they decided they were done taking pictures.

“Come on, let’s dance!” Reon’s girlfriend told Semi’s date before grabbing her hand and dragging her to the dance floor.

“What did you wanna talk about?” a confused Semi asked Reon.

“What’s up with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You have your girlfriend right next to you and you’re paying more attention to your best friend. That’s not okay dude. You’re lucky they haven’t noticed.”

“What are you talking about? I haven’t given Y/n any attention. We haven’t talked since last week,” Semi countered to which Reon sighed.

“Listen, you may not be aware you’re doing this, but since they joined us at dinner, you haven’t stopped looking at them. Why are your eyes wandering so much when you have a girlfriend right there?”

“I noticed too,” Ushijima spoke up.

“Have I been glancing at them that much?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but you need to talk it out,” Reon stated. The three boys turned to find you in the sea of people.

“There,” Ushijima spoke while pointing at the red hair that stuck out. “Go.”

With a gentle push from his friends, Semi walked into the crowd, careful not to step on anyone’s feet while saying excuse me to make his way towards you.

“How are you feeling?” Tendou asked you. Both of you were currently swaying back and forth, his hands on your waist as you held his biceps.

“I’m good. Tonight’s been a lot of fun so far,” you smiled at him.

He returned the gesture before removing a hand from your waist to the back of your head to bring you closer to him before putting it back down. “That’s good, but how do you feel?” he asked again, making you realize what he was really asking.

“Hmm.” Taking a deep breath to think you responded. “I still feel hurt, but I can’t find myself to be mad at him. I don’t even care about that girl, I don’t know her and don’t plan to be her friend. I just have to accept that if he wanted me, he would’ve asked me. It’s a tough pill to swallow but it’s the truth. I wish I didn’t hold onto the little hope I had and just opened my eyes to see he clearly wasn’t interested. We were just best friends, erm- friends- we’re just friends.”

Tendou changed his hand placement again. The hand that previously touched your head was back as his other hand rubbed circles between your shoulder blades. You didn’t feel like crying, you already did all of that last week. You had no more tears left in you and you just wanted to move on from the situation.

You and Tendou didn’t speak for a while, just swayed and listened to the song that was playing. “Can I tell you something? Tendou broke the silence.

“Yeah. What is it?” you asked.

“This is probably a bad time to tell you all of this. Semi is a fool, and I’m not saying that just because of his fashion sense. I don’t understand why he didn’t make a move on you because I am about to.”

His last line made you move your head so you were now making eye contact with him. “What?”

“I see your value. You are a treasure. Silly rocker Semi has overlooked what a catch you are. I never interfered because I knew of your feelings for him. I understand I’d just be a second option for you, a rebound if you will, but I’m willing to take any opportunity to get to know you better. I like you, Y/n. Can we get to know each other better?”

You were shocked. You knew Tendou as the friendly sightly crazy middle blocker on the volleyball team. You knew him as a class clown. You knew him as Semi’s friend. You never would’ve expected this moment to ever happen.

Tendou leaned a little closer to you which made you think fast. At the end of the day, you had nothing to lose, you already lost the guy you really loved. Leaning in as well, your lips connected. Unfortunately, it was at that moment Semi reached you both. It was at that moment Semi finally realized how he felt about you, but he didn’t feel like taking away the happiness from his friends for his own selfish feelings.

“Whoa dude, what happened?” Reon asked his teammate when he came back with a scowl on his face.

“I feel like a fucking idiot.”

—————

a/n: damn, this was supposed to be a Semi fic but here I am feeding the Tendou stans. Oopsies. ALSO I DID NOT THINK IT WOULD BE THIS LONG (and poorly edited again so another oopsies)

Tag: @pluviophilefangirl

#haikyu #haikyuu!!#semi eita x reader #semi haikyuu #semi eita #semi x reader #haikyu angst #haikyu x reader

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crystalninjaphoenix · 3 years ago

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Puzzles & Pleas

A JSE Fanfic

A new part whoooo! As I’m writing this description I’m very tired so I’m not sure what to say. We’re basically following up directly from the last part, like literally only a few hours later. Chase and Marvin are having a nice visit with Jack, and at the exact same time, their other three friends are having a variety of bad times with Anti. Fun fun fun! Well, not for the characters, but probably for us. Enjoy :)

You can find the other stories under the pw timeline tag!

“You look nervous.”

“I’m not.”

“I mean, it’s understandable if you are—”

“I’m not fucking nervous, Chase.”

The elevator doors opened, forcibly stopping the brief exchange. Chase stepped out onto the third floor, glancing back over his shoulder at Marvin. “Well, if you were, I was just gonna say it’s okay to be. Now c’mon.”

Marvin hesitated. Despite what his protests would indicate, he did look rather anxious. He kept twisting the edge of his shirt around. But he took a moment to steady himself and followed Chase out of the elevator, saying nothing.

“It’s just the same room,” Chase said, gesturing down the hospital hallway. “Let’s go.”

They walked in silence for a while, passing by closed doors, each with a room beyond. Chase kept looking back towards Marvin. This would probably be the first time he’d left his house in a couple weeks, something that Chase knew from experience wasn’t good for your health. Marvin looked fine, physically. His hair was combed and pulled back in a ponytail, his shirt and pants neat. But he just seemed...not as energetic. If that made sense. Hopefully, this would be good for him.

They soon reached the room they were looking for. Chase was about to knock on the door when Marvin suddenly asked, “Do you think he’ll be mad at me?”

Chase blinked. Then laughed, in an effort to lighten the mood. “Why would he be mad at you?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I hardly ever went to visit him.” Marvin continued to twist the hem of his shirt. “A-and I haven’t seen him at all since he woke up.”

“Marv. Trust me. Jack wouldn’t be mad at you for something like that.” Chase instinctively went to pat him on the back, but Marvin leaned away, so he dropped it and settled for a reassuring smile. “He’s not that type of guy.”

“Would he be...disappointed?” Marvin asked tentatively.”I-I don’t want to make him feel bad, he probably has enough to deal with—”

“It’s going to be alright, Marvin. Jack knows you didn’t mean to hurt him by not visiting. And besides, you’re visiting now, aren’t you? So it all works out.” Chase waited for Marvin to say more, but he just nodded, breathing out slowly. “Alright, we’re gonna go in now, okay?” Marvin nodded again, and Chase knocked on the door before slowly opening it. “Hello? It’s me.”

Jack turned to look towards the door. The moment he saw Chase, he smiled, and reached to the side and adjusted the controls of the bed to a sitting position. “Hii Shhays.”

“Hey bro. Look, I brought a friend.” Chase stepped into the room, allowing Marvin to take his place in the doorway.

Marvin froze for a moment. He stared at Jack, taking in the bed, the wires, the oxygen tube. Then he waved. “Um...hi.”

“Mahfin!” Jack grinned even wider. “‘S good t’see yuh!” He waved Marvin over.

“Ha. Y-yeah, good to see you, too.” Marvin stepped inside. “Oh, uh, d’you want this open?”

“S’fffine.”

“Alright, then.” He closed the door.

“Hey, c’mon, Marv, sit down.” Chase walked over to the side of the bed, indicating one of the nearby chairs. “Get comfy in the plastic hospital chair.”

Marvin laughed, and followed Chase over to the bed. They both sat, and Jack leaned over to pick up his communication board from the nearby table. He pointed to the How are you? box.

“Eh. We’re alright, I guess,” Chase said, glancing at Marvin.

“I...well, I’ve been...” Marvin stopped, the words getting caught in his throat. “It’s fine, though. Probably nothing compared to what you’re going through.”

Jack frowned. It was a small, awkward gesture, something his facial muscles were still having trouble with. He indicated the I don’t think so box.

“What’s that s’posed to mean?” Marvin asked, confused.

“It means he’s doubting you,” Chase explained. Jack nodded.

“Well, I mean...it’s fine,” Marvin said slowly. “Honestly, I’d rather talk about you. Like, how are you doing? What are you doing? It can’t be too fun being stuck in here.”

Jack still looked unsure, but he shook his head, and tapped a box labeled I agree.

“You’ve got a TV in here now, though,” Chase said, pointing to the corner. A big box television sat on top of a wheeled cart. “It looks like the ones they used to bring into classrooms in elementary school, y’know?”

Marvin and Jack just stared at him. “I think that’s an American thing,” Marvin said. “Or at least, something that wasn’t common where we were from.”

“Ah. Well, they did it all the time. A couple classrooms had them bottled to the ceilings in the corner and you watched movies on it, but you were always too far away to see it properly.” Chase laughed a bit. “But still, there’s probably only so much TV you can take.”

Jack groaned, rolling his eyes. He emphatically tapped the I agree box.

Marvin smiled a bit. “Well, don’t you have hospital stuff to do? Like, examinations and shit?”

Jack pointed to the Yes box. “Therrs...th’rapy. Lotta it.”

“Yeah, like speech therapy, physical therapy, probably a million other kinds.” Chase nodded. “Oh, speaking of which, you sound much better! Good job, bro.”

“Thnkss.” Jack smiled a bit.

“Y’know, I did some, uh...I don’t know if it was physical therapy exactly, but I did some exercises as a kid,” Marvin recalled. “Because I was severely uncoordinated. Tripped over my own feet to the point Grandmam was worried about it.” He paused. “I don’t know what I mean by that. I guess I’m just saying I relate a bit. It’s probably not the same thing, though.”

“Nnoh, ‘sfine,” Jack assured him. “I geddid. Ah.” He made a face. “I. Get. It.”

“Good, then.” For a moment, there was just silence. It stretched long enough to get awkward, and just when Chase was about to change the subject, Marvin blurted out, “I’m sorry I never came to see you, Jack.”

Jack blinked. “Hm?”

“Well I did but—it wasn’t that often. A-and not since you woke up, and I’m really sorry about it, it’s just—I’ve been having...a...moment.” Marvin clenched his fists as he tried to find the words. Sign language wouldn’t work here; Jack couldn’t understand it. So he was stuck with verbal speech. Not always his strong suit. “You know, when you have...a moment? When it’s hard to do anything because you...don’t...really...feel like anything?” Chase nodded encouragingly, and Marvin took a deep breath. “It’s not because I didn’t want to come see you. I really did, I-I’m really happy you’re awake again! It’s just...my fault. I put it off for so long, and then I got nervous about it, like, that it would be weird to suddenly show up and start talking like nothing had happened—I-I do that a lot, y’know, that’s why I don’t really talk to anyone besides you guys—and it’s not you, it’s me, and I’m sorry.” He finished with a rush and then stopped, waiting, his posture stiff and tense.

Jack was quiet for a moment. Then, he leaned closer, reaching out and putting a hand on top of Marvin’s own. “Mahfin...Mmmahrf...Marrrfvin.” For a moment, he looked frustrated at his inability to pronounce his friend’s name properly, but then he took a deep breath, and moved on. “Mahrfin. ‘S not...yoh fahlt. Thin’s happen. ‘S alright. ‘M happy t’see yuh—yyou. Yohr herre now. An’ tha’s what’s...i-im....important.” And he smiled.

Marvin’s face swelled with a mix of emotions. Relief, hesitancy, joy. It brought tears to his eyes. “You’re sure?”

“Yeh. O’courrrse.”

“I...good. That’s...good.” Marvin wiped his eyes. “Y’know...if you’re having trouble, you could just call me Muffin or something, for the time being.”

Jack laughed. “Shurr, Maffin.”

The moment was interrupted by a faint buzzing sound. Chase jumped a bit, feeling something vibrate in his pocket. “Oh, uh, sorry guys.” He took out his phone, face turning red with embarrassment as the other two watched him. “I didn’t think anyone would be calling me.” He glanced at the screen. “Huh. I don’t recognize the number.”

“It’s probably spam,” Marvin dismissed.

“Maybe. Or it could be important. Like, the kids are in school now, what if their teacher’s calling?” Chase hesitated. “I’ll just—just see if it is spam, really quick.” He tapped the Accept button and pressed the phone to his ear. “Hello? Who’s this?”

——————

He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe. Something was squeezing his chest, his lungs—something was inside him, it was—no, no it wasn’t. This was panic. That had to be the explanation. He had to calm down, and—and do...something.

Schneep had woken up a few minutes ago. It took him a while to remember what happened before that. How someone had been in his room. No...not just someone. He knew—it was him, it was—there was no escape, there had never been any escape—

Okay. Calm down. Breathe. Focus on the facts. He was lying on the floor. In a strange room that he didn’t recognize. Near the wall. And he wasn’t alone. But he couldn’t focus on that fact now, it just made it hard to breathe again, thinking about being watched, being stared at, being—stop. Calm. Breathe.

Maybe if he looked around, it would help. But there wasn’t much to see in the room. The walls were dark gray, the floor was rough white carpet. There was a circular black rug in the middle. And a window with blinds. Besides those features, the only thing of note in the room was...a desk. And its chair, with someone sitting in it. But he didn’t want to look towards that. What about...the window? Was there anything outside?

He hesitated, and briefly glanced back towards the desk. It looked like the chair’s occupant was busy, attention fully focused on the computer monitors on the desk’s surface. But he knew he was still being watched. Perhaps...if he moved slowly, then it wouldn’t be too strange? It would be natural?

Deciding that was worth a shot, Schneep cautiously sat up. His head was still a bit dizzy, and heavy, too. He grimaced, then glanced out the window. The glass was a bit dirty, and looked unusually...thick, if that made sense. Outside, he could see a street corner, and houses. This room was in a house like that, then? And it was at an intersection, with a pair of street signs marking the roads that crossed here. Unfortunately, he couldn’t make out the street names this far away without his glasses. But one of them had some graffiti on it, a spray-painted square with a diamond inside it, and a black dot inside that. It might’ve been more elaborate than that, but again, he couldn’t quite make out the details.

“I see you.”

Schneep yelped, pressing against the wall as he turned to look towards the desk. Anti. He’d turned around in his desk chair and was staring at him now. Staring with those mismatched eyes that haunted his nightmares.

“Enjoying the view?” Anti nodded towards the window. “Sorry, not much to see. Nothing particularly helpful. Especially since you can’t read the street signs from this distance without your glasses.”

He knew what he was thinking?! Was he in his head again?! Schneep squeezed his eyes shut, shook his head, and opened them again. No, that wasn’t true. Anti was human, he’d never read his mind, humans couldn’t do that.

“What? Do you think you’re safe up here?” Anti tapped the side of his head and grinned. “Don’t be so sure. You’re so easy to—”

“Shut up, you are lying,” Schneep interrupted. “You—you cannot do that anymore. I know it’s a trick.”

“You don’t know anything,” Anti said, still grinning. “Because I’ve been watching you. I know you’ve heard me. And I know you’ve told others about me. Don’t you remember what I said about that? The more people know about me, the stronger I become.”

“That is more lies,” Schneep insisted, pressing his back to the wall.

“I’ve never lied to you. And I’m not about to start now. I’ve been watching you. I know you’ve seen my shadow in the corners, and my eyes in the ceilings.”

“How do you know about that?!” Schneep shrieked.

“Because I sent them, of course. To keep an eye on you, make sure you didn’t break any rules.” Anti sighed dramatically and shook his head. “I hoped it wouldn’t be needed, but I thought, better safe than sorry. And it turns out I was right.”

Schneep pressed his hands to his ears, trying to block out Anti’s words. They had to be lies. He knew that Anti wasn’t some supernatural creature, he was just a man. Anti had to be guessing about the things he saw. Though...how did he guess about the eyes in the ceilings? Schneep couldn’t remember telling him about them, and that had to be a fairly specific hallucination. Maybe he really...? No, there had to be another explanation.

Anti laughed, and Schneep flinched at the sound. His eyes darted around the room once more. There was a door, but it was on the other side of the room, and he was willing to bet it was locked. Same with the window. He could try to break the window, but there was nothing to break it with. Unless he wanted to try and grab one of the computer monitors and throw it through the glass, but he knew he’d be overpowered if he tried.

“That’s right, you’ve got no way out,” Anti said, leaning back. “You’re lucky I haven’t tied you to a chair or anything. The only reason I haven’t done that is because you know it’s hopeless, anyway. Unlike certain others...wearing red jackets.”

Schneep felt a chill pass over him. Jackie. Of course. Anti still had him captive. “I-it’s different, now,” Schneep protested weakly. “They know about you, a-and me, and that we are not the same. They will be trying to rescue me this time.”

“Probably,” Anti admitted. He grabbed something off the desk and stood up, approaching. Schneep’s eyes widened, and he pressed further into the wall, pulling his legs and arms close. “That is, they’ll be trying a search and rescue as long as they think I’m involved.” Anti stopped, standing over Schneep, and leaned down. “So here’s what’s going to happen.” He showed him the thing he’d grabbed from the desk: a phone. “You’re going to call the lovely Dr. Laurens and tell her you left on your own.”

“What...wh-why would I do that?” Schneep stammered.

“Because you got scared. Because you didn’t feel safe in that hospital. Because you told her you saw Anti in the hospital rec room, and you think that he’s real, and that he can come after you.” Anti smiled. “It’s built on truth, isn’t it? Because you told her you saw me, didn’t you?”

Schneep stared at him in disbelief. He had told Laurens about seeing Anti in the rec room. At the time, he thought it was just him seeing things, but...had it been real? The whole time? And how did Anti know he’d told Laurens about that?

Because he hears your thoughts. He can twist them to control you.

No! No, that wasn’t real. But...the idea still lingered.

“What are you waiting for?” Anti held out the phone, staring at him. Staring, staring, staring. Always staring.

Schneep swallowed a sudden lump in his throat. “..okay. I will call her.”

Anti didn’t say anything as he took the phone, still watching him as he dialed the phone number. Schneep tried not to think about it too much as he held the phone to his ear and listened to the call connect.

The other end rang for a long time, and Schneep swiftly grew afraid that nobody would pick up. But just when he thought it would hang up, the ringing stopped. “Hello? Who’s this?”

“Um. Hello.” Schneep reminded himself to breathe. “It’s me, it is—well, you can probably tell by the voice.” The voice that was shaking quite a bit.

“What the f—Schneep?!” The voice on the other end shouted in disbelief. “Why are you calling me?! No, wait, how are you calling me? I thought you weren’t allowed to have a phone there.”

“No, I—there is—something has happened,” Schneep said carefully. “I-I am not at Silver Hills anymore.”

“Well then where the hell are you?!”

“I am...I am somewhere...else,” Schneep said slowly.

“Yeah, where?”

Anti narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Get to the point,” he hissed.

Schneep froze for a moment. He needed to speak freely. “It’s because of—of him,” he said carefully. “You know who I mean, yes?”

“You mean...Anti?” The other end went silent for a minute. “Schneep where are you? Can you tell me, give me a clue or something? I-I’ll call the police, but if you could tell me anything—”

Anti frowned. “Put it on speaker,” he said.

Schneep’s heart sank. Impossible. Anti would immediately know that he hadn’t called the right person. He had to do something drastic. “Er ist es, er hat mich mitgenommen,” he said, speaking quickly. “Ich weiß nicht wo ich bin.” Anti’s eyes widened, and he lunged forward. Schneep cried out, and rolled to the side, just avoiding him. “Ich weiß nicht wo ich bin! Ein Haus an einer Straßenecke—Ich kenne die Straßennamen nicht! Das Schild hat Graffiti, es ist ein Kreis in einem Diamanten in einem Quadrat—”

“You little—!” Anti grabbed Schneep’s wrist and twisted the phone out of his hand.

“Bitte komm—!” Schneep didn’t manage to get the rest of the sentence out before—

Smack!

He fell to the side, half of his face suddenly alight in pain. For a moment, he was too dazed to respond properly. Then Anti grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him upward. He instantly started struggling.

“You worthless little fucker,” Anti hissed, grabbing a handful of Schneep’s hair and pulling his head backwards. “Can’t believe you did that. Fuck. You deserved that. Your friend’s gonna have worse for that stunt you just pulled.”

“N-no!” Schneep gasped. “Leave him alone!”

“No, you know the rules. You know how this works.” Anti glared at him. “You’ve just gotten cocky. So you need a reminder.”

Schneep felt a tear trickle from his eye. He hoped that call was worth it.

——————

“Schneep?! Henrik?! Are you there?!” Chase shouted into the phone, but got no response. There’d been a rustling sound, like a struggle, then Schneep had shouted, and then there was—there was another sound, a sound he’d most often heard when his kids would fight each other, and he had to scold them. That sound was a lot more sinister in this context. Especially considering the call had apparently dropped after it. “Fuck!”

“What happened?!” Marvin asked, shaken by the half of the conversation he’d heard. “Was that really—?”

“H-hang on, I’m gonna call his doctor first,” Chase said. He hurried to dial the number for Dr. Laurens, misdialing at first because of his rush and entering it a second time.

The call was picked up surprisingly quickly. “Chase? Is that you?” Laurens’s voice came through loud and clear.

“Yeah, it’s me. Listen doc, is...is Schneep okay?” Chase didn’t know how else to ask.

“Is he—oh, Chase,” Laurens said softly. “I was just about to call you. We...we don’t know where he is.”

“You...don’t know where he is?” Chase repeated, feeling the bottom of his stomach dropping out. He heard Marvin gasp, and saw him squeeze Jack’s hand, who was now sitting up as straight as he could. “What do you mean?”

“He never showed up to dinner. When Oliver went to check on his room, he wasn’t there. We’ve been searching the building and the grounds, but he’s nowhere to be seen. I thought—since you’re his friend, a-and his emergency contact—wait a minute.” Laurens stopped, realizing something. “Why are you asking?”

“Because he just called me,” Chase explained. “From some number I didn’t recognize. He said that—he said that Anti took him.”

“Shit,” Laurens cursed. “Chase, I need you to hang up right now and call the police. We’ll keep searching the nearby area, just in case. I-I’ll call you if we find him.”

“Y-yeah. Okay. And I’ll call you again after I talk to the cops.”

“Great. Go do that.”

“I’m doing it. Talk to you later.” Chase hung up.

“So he just disappeared?!” Marvin whispered harshly. “Just—just like that night.” He glanced over at Jack.

“Wh’s happennin’?” Jack asked, his features drawn.

“You guys heard that call, right? Henrik called me, h-he was speaking...haltingly, I think, with a lot of pauses, I think that’s the word.” Chase squeezed his phone case. “Then he freaked out and started shouting in German—I bet because Anti can’t speak it.”

“What did he say?!” Marvin demanded.

“I don’t know all of it, it’s been a while since I—give me a second.” Chase opened up a translation app on his phone and quickly typed in a few words, trying his best to match the spelling of the things he thought Schneep had said. He had to fill in the gaps. “Okay. He said that Anti took him, and that he didn’t know where it was, but it was a house on a street corner. He couldn’t see the street names, but mentioned some sort of like...graffiti? On the sign? A circle in a diamond in a square.”

Jack’s head shot upward, and he cried out.

“What?! What is it?!” Marvin leaned forward, checking all the wires and monitors.

“Nn—noh that!” Jack clumsily pushed him back. “That sss...ssymmbel. Know it.”

“Wh—you recognize the symbol?!” Chase repeated in disbelief. “Square-diamond-circle?!”

Jack nodded. “H-he...fffakes. Th’ fakes, th’ one...prtendinn tuh be yuh two. I...rmemmber now.”

“Huh?” Marvin asked, utterly confused.

“Right, you don’t know,” Chase realized. “Jack, he—he’s said some stuff about fake versions of us visiting him. Anti, in disguise. I-I know, I ran into him pretending to be you one time, and I heard about an imposter me from Dr. Emerson another time. Apparently Anti talked to him, said some freaky stuff.” He gasped. “You mean—he told you about this symbol?”

“Symmbl. Symbel to...to haf others recogniss him.” Jack pressed his hands to his forehead and leaned forward. “Put outssside...places he...h-has? I don’...don’ rmemrrr.” He fell silent, squeezing his eyes shut. “On a sighhn...steet signnn...ffahk. Fahk!”

“I’m gonna call the police,” Chase said, already dialing 999. “I’m gonna tell them everything, a-and meanwhile, try to remember anything else.”

Jack nodded, eyes still shut. Marvin squeezed his shoulder, an anchor to the physical world. He could hear Chase’s voice relaying what happened over the phone, but the words were indistinct as he tried to concentrate on his memory. Everything was all mixed up and blurred. None of it made sense most of the time. He remembered hearing voices, but he wasn’t sure when it was Chase, when it was this Anti, or when it was just a dream. But he’d definitely heard that description of a symbol before. When...when had he...when...when......?

——————

......

...

“It’s a calling card. Or a warning, if you want to think of it that way...simplified version of my...”

...

The man had no eyes. Or maybe he was just missing one eye. A blank, dark spot in the middle of a white face. He looked like a friend, but that dark spot was wrong. It told him it was a lie.

“Most people don’t know what it means exactly, only that it’s trouble. The area...claimed.”

And the voice was wrong. It...it sounded a bit like his own, actually? Was this...him?

Was that why he couldn’t move? Why he couldn’t look away?

“...outside safe houses, where I store my...and other equipment. They’re also secondary bases. Just in case...never know in this line of work. I don’t want...caught. Living...prison...just be the worst. You have no control.”

The man was smiling. His teeth stretched...his skin was melting. He—he couldn’t understand. What was happening? Who...was this man...? Was he him? Who are you? Who am I? Are we the same? I can’t understand. Something...something is broken up here. My thoughts...they’re scattering. Like throwing paper in a bowl of water, watching it soak it up, then stirring violently. Everything came apart.

“I’m never going to let anyone control me. No. I am in control. Everyone else...my little puppets. I like watching the shows.”

The white ceiling and walls were burning his eyes. It was curving, like a bubble. They were in a bubble. He was floating. He couldn’t feel anything.

“...times I worry about you telling people. But then I—” Laugh. Laugh. Laugh. “I remember you’re a veggie. People rarely wake...after something so severe. So...doesn’t matter. Maybe you can hear me. Maybe you can’t. Doesn’t...”

Green line. Up and down. Up and down. Crossing the man’s face. Cutting him in half.

“Why am I even doing this?”

Green light. Everything is green.

“I don’t even know. It’s a waste of time, a waste of resources, and a risk. Maybe...need it? I’ve never talked so freely. Not even to Jamie. He...a kid, you know. Always will be.”

Light is gone. Everything is black.

“...it doesn’t really matter what I say. I can tell you about the marks outside the houses. Ha. Hell, I can even tell you where they are. Like, for example, on the corner of—”

——————

Jack’s eyes flew open. “Ah!”

“Wh—?!” Marvin jumped a bit. “Jack?”

“Th’ steet! Strreet! Is—is—” Now the problem was just getting his mouth to form the sounds properly. “Ay...airrr...loom.”

Marvin blinked. “Air loom?”

“Hhay. Hhhhair loom.”

“Oh, heirloom? I don’t know that street, uh...” Marvin turned to look at Chase. “Did you catch that?”

Chase nodded in response, still on the phone, then returned to his conversation with the emergency line. “Um—maybe try on one of the corners of Heirloom Drive? My friend thinks that might be it.” A brief pause. “Uh, I don’t know.” And he looked over at Jack, pulling the phone away a bit. “Hey bro, do you...remember the other street? It’s at an intersection, right?”

Jack closed his eyes again. But this time, the memory wouldn’t even come to him. “No.”

“That’s fine.” Chase returned to the phone. “My friend doesn’t know, but on the phone call he said—my other friend—said that there was some sort of graffiti on the sign, that was a uhh square around a diamond around a circle. That probably helps right?” He paused. “No, I don’t think he’d see them. He’s near-sighted, and I don’t think he has his glasses. That probably means that the graffiti description is pretty vague, but it’s an idea.” Another pause. “Yeah, that’s it. Oh, wait, uh...I think Detective Nix was involved in this case? Can you tell him?” And another. “Yeah, his name’s Henrik.” And one last, long pause. “Alright, thank you ma’am. I’ll wait.” And he hung up, letting out a long exhale.

“It—it’s going to be fine, right?” Marvin asked anxiously. “They’ll find him?”

“It might take a while, but I think so,” Chase replied. “God...Hey, uh, Jack? You’re sure about this?”

Jack thought about it, then nodded slowly, head bobbing. That memory was a bit weird, but Dr. Emerson told him it was common to have dream-like memories, with everything that had happened to him. He was confident that the conversation was real. He couldn’t forget the times Anti came to visit, just because of how deeply unnerving his words always were.

“Alright. Well, they’re going to call me to update me on what happens,” Chase said. “Uh...not sure how long this’ll take. Visiting hours might end before they sort everything out.”

“Mm.” Jack shrugged. He picked up the communication board again—he’d just done a lot of talking, and needed a moment—and pointed to the I’m okay box.

“You sure?”

Yes box.

“Well we’re not leaving until they kick us out,” Marvin asserted, folding his arms. “If they call us back, you need to hear it. You just helped out a fuckton.”

Jack smiled, a bit lopsidedly. Thank you box.

Chase laughed, but it quickly faded. He looked down at the phone in his hand, already anticipating the call. “I guess...we just wait now.”

——————

There were footsteps passing by outside the room. At first, Jameson had tensed, waiting for the door to open and Anti to walk inside. But that didn’t happen. They just kept passing back and forth. You hear those, right? JJ asked.

Jackie didn’t respond, so JJ looked back over at him. He was lying on the bottom bed of the bunk and staring up, eyes glazed. Something he’d been doing quite a lot, JJ noticed. When he asked about it, Jackie always said he was daydreaming, which would be fine normally, but JJ was pretty sure that he was doing it too much. Well, he couldn’t blame him. But still, it would be nice if Jackie would look at him when he was signing.

Jameson walked over and, after a moment’s hesitation, shook Jackie’s shoulder. He blinked, made an odd gesture like he was asking someone to wait, then looked at JJ. “What?”

Have you been hearing the footsteps outside? JJ asked.

“Huh? Oh, uh, sorry. No. I wasn’t really paying attention,” Jackie admitted. “What do they sound like?”

Like someone’s running up and down a hallway outside, JJ described.

“Really? Well...I mean, I can’t really think of anyone but Anti who’d be doing that.” Jackie’s face scrunched up in thought. “Maybe he’s...doing something? I dunno. Running, though...it must be important.”

Jameson frowned. That was a good point, why would Anti be running about? I’m going to try to look outside, he said, walking over to the door.

“Look outside?” Jackie sat up, turning so he was on the edge of the bed. “You mean, through the gap?”

JJ nodded. He got down on his hands and knees and pressed his head to the floor, peering through the gap under the door. Nothing much to see. He got to his knees and was about to stand up...when he heard the footsteps again. Wanting to see what happened as they passed by the door, he quickly peered through the gap between the door and the doorframe. The steps were approaching—

Then the door slammed open, directly into Jameson’s face. He cried out as he fell, clasping his hands to his face.

“Oh my god, Jamie?! I’m so sorry!” Anti covered his mouth, staring down at him in shock. “It was an accident, I didn’t expect you to—are you okay?!”

Jameson didn’t answer. His face was in pain, and his nose in particular was throbbing. He pulled one hand away and saw it covered in blood, felt it trickling from his nostrils and soaking into his mustache.

“Shit. Fuck! I-it’ll be fine, I can—i-is it broken?” Anti bent over, grabbing Jameson’s head and trying to inspect the damage. But Jameson pulled away, waving at him to get back. “Hey, I just—okay, fine. This isn’t the time. We can look at it later.” Anti took his phone out of his pocket and checked the clock. “We need to go.”

Go? Did he say go? As in, they were leaving? Jameson stood up, keeping one hand on his face, trying and failing to stop the bleeding from getting everywhere. Why did they have to leave? More importantly, why was Anti trying to move the two of them? Unless...something happened that meant he had to move them. Like...the police coming. At that thought, Jameson started backing away.

“Jamie, this isn’t a joke, we need to leave now.” Anti insisted.

Jameson shook his head. He glanced over his shoulder at Jackie. Judging by the wide-eyed expression on his face, he’d come to the same conclusion as him. It was strange to see the glimmer of hope in his eyes. And that thought made Jameson’s heart hurt.

“Are you going to—?! Fuck, I don’t have time for this.” Anti rubbed his eyes, then adjusted the strap of the bag hanging off his shoulder. He stared at Jameson for a moment. Then followed his line of sight over to Jackie. For a moment, he hesitated, thinking about something. And then he made a decision. “Okay, fine.” Anti pushed past Jameson, reaching into his bag as he did so. He grabbed Jackie, yanking him upwards to a standing position, and pressed a knife to his neck.

Jameson gasped. “A-an!”

“I’m going to kill him,” Anti said calmly. “I’ve been thinking about it, and I can’t handle three of you after all. And he’s the most useless.”

“A...aan.” Jameson shook his head slowly. He didn’t dare to take a step forward. Jackie had looked terrified when Anti grabbed him, but the moment he said he was going to kill him, all emotion seemed to drain out of him. Now he was slumped, eyes blank, not there at all. Please, Jameson simply signed.

Anti looked him in the eyes. “The only way you can convince me not to is if you come with me right now.”

Oh.

So...that was the plan.

Jameson wasn’t sure why he wasn’t more shocked. No...no, actually, he knew why. But somehow, it surprised him to feel this lack of...well, surprise.

But in any case, he couldn’t let Jackie die. Alright, he signed slowly. I’ll go with you.

“Good. Follow me.”

Anti walked out of the room, right through the door, and Jameson followed behind him, quietly. He tried to catch Jackie’s eye, but Jackie wasn’t paying attention to anything at all. He just let Anti pull him along with the blade at his throat.

They went down a hallway and arrived in another, which they then walked down to arrive at a door. Anti pushed it open with his shoulder, and then they were in a small backyard, hardly more than a strip of grass. Jameson glanced at the neighboring houses, but they looked empty. But...maybe someone could see them? Maybe someone would call the police, if they hadn’t already been called.

There was a car parked in the gap between their house and one of the neighbors. It didn’t have anything distinct about it, a simple, gray, four-door car. But the trunk was a bit open. Jameson caught a glimpse of some sort of suitcase—maybe multiple suitcases—before Anti kicked the lid closed. “Stupid boot,” he muttered. “Jameson, get in the passenger side. Leave the door open.”

Well, he didn’t have much of a choice, did he? Jameson walked around to the passenger side and got in, sitting stiffly on the edge of the seat. He wiped his face, clearing up blood from his nosebleed.

“Good.” Anti nodded once. He then shifted his knife to his other hand, still keeping it pointed at Jackie, and used his other to rummage around in his bag until he pulled out a small bottle. He popped the lid open. “Hold out your hand.” When Jameson did, Anti shook a few small pills out of the bottle and into his palm. “Swallow three of those.”

That was the part that got Jameson to finally say something. Or, try to, at least. “A-annn? Yuh...c-c-cannn’...beee sss—”

“Don’t do this, Jamie,” Anti said through gritted teeth. “I know what you’re trying to do. Just eat them, okay?” He put the bottle back in his bag and switched the knife between hands again. He pressed it firmly into Jackie’s neck, causing a drop of blood to trickle down from where the blade met skin.

Jameson nodded, and hurriedly threw the pills in his mouth. Anti watched him closely, making sure they were eventually swallowed. “Good,” he said again. Then he closed the car door. Immediately, Jameson heard the clunk of the lock. He was expecting that...but he wasn’t expecting Anti to walk back towards the back door they’d come from, taking Jackie with him.

“Hhh—!” Jameson pressed his face and hands to the window. “Aaaan! N-nuh!” He banged a fist against the glass. “Nnnuh! Nn—n-n-no!” He screamed. But Anti didn’t even look towards him as he disappeared back into the house with Jackie.

He tried pulling at the door, but of course, found it useless. And looking around the inside showed there wasn’t a way to open the car from the inside. That was probably a safety hazard, but Jameson was willing to bet that Anti had the car modified. He spun around in his seat, looking for anything that would be of help in the back. But there was nothing. Except for...a man. Asleep, sitting in the back seat. Pale skin and brown hair, with a yellow-purple bruise forming on his cheek. Jameson was confused for a moment, until he noticed the plastic medical bracelet around the man’s wrist and remembered. That was Henrik, wasn’t it? Schneep? He hadn’t recognized him. Of course, they’d only met once, and Schneep had spent most of it freaking out, thinking that Jameson was Anti. He looked unharmed, but he was clearly unconscious, and therefore couldn’t help them get out of the car.

Frustrated, Jameson started kicking at the door, leaning back to build up as much force as possible. He tried hitting the window. But it felt as solid as the actual door. This went on for a few moments, until he saw the back door opening again. And Anti came back outside. Alone.

That made him stop, fear shooting through his heart.

Soon, Anti sat down in the driver’s seat. “Alright, finally,” he said under his breath, glancing up at the dark, early-night sky. “We’ve wasted enough time—”

Smack!

Anti was too surprised to even cry out as Jameson’s fist connected with enough force to whip his head to the side. “Y—you just—” He pressed his hand to his cheek and looked at Jameson in disbelief. “Jamie, you hit me.”

Don’t fucking call me that! Jameson threw his hands in Anti’s face, almost hitting him again. Not after all that! You don’t deserve it! You’re the most horrible person I know!

Anti glanced back towards the house. “He’s not dead.”

Well I don’t trust a word you say!

“Just...” Anti sighed, and rubbed his cheek. “Just go to sleep and be quiet, Jameson.”

Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Jameson seethed. You’d like to have a perfect, quiet, naive kid brother that you can protect and therefore feel good about yourself for once. Well he doesn’t exist. Not one of those words describes me. Jameson turned away. Don’t ever call me your brother again. You make me sick.

Anti didn’t say anything in response, and Jameson refused to even look at him. The car started, then pulled out of the driveway and onto the street.

As the house on the corner faded into the distance, Jameson’s anger lessened, overtaken by the fear and all-consuming worry he’d felt before. He could only hope that Anti wasn’t lying about Jackie. And he didn’t like that. He didn’t like relying on this...person for anything. But, unfortunately, he was at his mercy for the time being.

He had to find a way out. Not now, though. He could already feel the sleeping pills starting to take effect. But as Jameson closed his eyes, he swore that he wouldn’t let Anti be in control of anyone ever again.

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticeye fanfiction #jacksepticegos #septic egos #jacksepticeye au #septic egos au #chase brody #marvin the magnificent #antisepticeye #dr schneeplestein #jameson jackson #jackieboy man #brigid writes fanfiction #pwtimeline

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ynsimagines · 4 years ago

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Supergirl “Die From A Broken Heart”

This is another oneshot about singer/songwriter B!D. This oneshot is based of a song from artists Maddie and Tae called “Die from a Broken Heart.” I dont any of these lyrics.

Easter was supposed to be a happy time. A time to celebrate with friends and family, eat a lot of good food and of course chocolate. It was also a time to spend with your s/o. Unless of course you both got into a massive argument a couple days before resulting in him spilling red wine all over your favorite dress and storming out of your Nashville apartment. Apparently you didn’t spend enough time with him you were always too focused on your music or your friends and sisters.

As if it couldn’t get any worse this morning you woke up to a text that said “we’re done.” You laid back down on your bed and immediately started to cry. Kara must’ve heard you because after a few minutes she was knocking on your door.

“Little one, whats wrong? Can I come in?” Asked your older sister.

“Yes,” you chocked. Forget trying to be tough or putting up a front you just wanted your big sister.

The superhero walked in looking extremely concerned. She knew about the fight you had a couple days ago, and probably was able to guess what happened. She sat down on your bed and took you in her arms as you continued to sob.

“Oh sweetheart I’m so sorry.” She said rubbing your back. Kara wished she could take all your pain away, but unfortunately that was something Supergirl couldn’t do.

“He broke up with me with a text. How does he sleep at night?” You asked.

Kara looked at you sadly, “I dont know babe, but he’s got some nerve breaking up with you that way especially since your big sister is Supergirl.”

This actually caused you to laugh, but then pretty soon you started crying again. Kara looked at you sympathetically moving some hair out of your face.

“How do you get red wine out of a dress?” you asked causing Kara to have a confused look on her face.

“I dont know baby girl, Eliza will probably,” with that you nodded.

“I’ll call Alex, and we’ll have a sisters day at home.”

You shook your head, “it’s Easter we’re all going to brunch with everyone, you cant just cancel.”

“Our friends will understand, sweetheart.”

“They shouldn’t have to it’s okay, I’ll be fine” you insisted.

Kara seemed to think about this for a second before letting out a breath she was holding. “Alright little one.”

You both got up and as you went to the bathroom to wash your face Kara went to text Alex and let her know the current situation. When you walked out into the kitchen you saw her making both of you Coffee.

“I have a headache,” you said sitting down at the counter.

Kara walked over with a glass of water and some aspirin almost as if she predicted what you just said.

“That’ll be the dehydration,” she responded kissing the top of your head.

After drinking your coffee you went back to your room and tried making yourself look presentable you looked over at your bed, and noticed your pillow had mascara stains on it. You’d have to ask your mom how to get those out.

As you got ready for the day you started thinking about your relationship. Sure you’d been pretty busy, but you made an effort to spend time with him, but you also had to make sure you spent time with your friends and sisters. It was difficult to balance work with your personal life especially since you were in Nashville anywhere from once to three times a month, but you always made time for him.

Once you finished getting ready you and Kara headed over to the restaurant where you met Alex, Lena, and Your mom. You would have to wait up for your other friends to arrive.

You hugged all three of them they’d probably heard through the grape vine what happened. “Hey mom, how do you get a red wine stain out of a dress?” The other four women looked at you sympathetically and Eliza seems to think it over for a minute.

“Boiling water, if that doesn’t work try vinegar,” answered Lena surprising you all.

“How’d you know that, Lena” asked Kara surprised she was pretty sure Lena had never done laundry before.

“I’ve had to get out a few red wine stains before” Lena said looking at you sadly.

“What about black mascara off a pillowcase?” Alex reached her hand out and began to rub your shoulder comfortingly.

“The same thing Lena said, Boiling water of vinegar,” answered your mom at this you nodded.

“Mom, can I come and maybe stay a few days? This weekend or next?” you asked something about being home always comforted you. Your mom grabbed your hand, “you can come anytime sweetheart, I’m always here for you.”

At that the rest of the super friends begun arriving.

You had managed to mostly put up a front that day. many of your friends knew what happened but you didn't want to be a bummer so you decided not to talk about it. You did however ask J’onn if he could come look at the front door of your apartment in Nashville since it got slammed and doesn’t close right to which he readily agreed, and also subtly let you know you could talk to him about anything. “What are space dads for?”

He also asked if you wanted him to take care of anything and you immediately knew what he was hinting at. You told him no and to keep his pistol in the drawer as mad as you were at your ex you didn't want anything bad to happen to him. You’d have to remember to tell Alex the same thing...

That night you were completely exhausted emotionally and physically. You laid on yours and Kara’s couch with your head on Alex’s lap who decided to spend the night in order to make sure you were ok and your feet on Kara’s.

“Alex?” you asked trying not to cry for the umpteenth time today.

“Yeah, baby girl?”

“Can your knees give out from praying so hard?”

Alex sighed sadly seeming to think about it for a minute while she gently rubbed your shoulder. “I dont think so sweetheart.”

“Can you go blind from crying in the dark?” at this your voice cracked. “Was it ever real if he doesn't feel the way I feel?” you sat up now and were full on sobbing Alex sat next to you and wrapped her arms around you from behind. And Kara got in front of you looking into your eyes.

“It was real,” she tells you firmly. “The way you felt was real and that’s all that matters.”

“I wanna kick myself for falling so hard, can you die from a Broken Heart?”

Kara shook her head and kissed her forehead, “you’re not gonna die sweetheart, you’re gonna be alright.”

“And were gonna help you get through this,” Alex said also kissing the top of your head. And you continued like that crying in your sisters arms until you fell asleep.

The next morning you woke up from text messages from many of your friends. Nia and Lena both told you they were always there to talk with Nia offering to take you for some retail therapy. Lena offered to take you to lunch to get your mind off things, and Winn said you should get together and have a video game marathon. It made you feel a little better knowing you had so many people there to help you. But you felt like your heart was broken all over again when you checked your FB and saw that your ex had changed his relationship status to single. How could he leave you and move on so easily.

You went out to the living room where your sisters were making breakfast and handed them the phone not wanting to verbally communicate what happened.

“Oh sweetheart,” said Alex coming to give you a hug along with Kara. “I promise one day you’ll be able to look back on this,” you cut her off.

“Alex, please dont say I’m gonna laugh about this someday you didn’t see the way he drove away,” Alex looked at you sadly and nodded.

“Okay, baby girl why dont you eat something Kara and I made breakfast you’ll feel better.”

Later that day you went back into your room after rejecting Alex and Kara’s offer to go out on a walk and thought about everything you’d been through this past week. Every conversation and bit of advice you’d gotten and all of your feelings and despite what Kara said all you could keep thinking was “Can you Die From a Broken Heart?” You thought to yourself that it was a great idea for a song, and it made you laugh. You always used music throughout your life as a way of dealing with situations. You grabbed your songbook, a pen, your guitar and got to work

It was months later your new single “Die from a Broken Heart” had been released by your label not before playing it for your sisters who loved it. The other super friends had now heard it as well and thought it was brilliant. The song was now climbing the charts. You were currently back in Nashville getting ready to film the music video for your song when your manager called.

“Hey Liz, whats up?” You said from the hair and makeup chair.

“Have you looked at the charts recently” said the older women.

“Not in the last week, why?” You asked curiously.

“I think you should see for yourself” she said excitedly. So you did just that to see your song was now number one on the Billboard country charts, “Oh my god, we did it.”

“No you did it,” said Liz. You’d had songs go number one before, but honestly it never got old. “Liz I gotta go I need to tell my sisters and friends, we’ll celebrate tonight.”

You facetimed your sisters and they were of course ecstatic and so proud of promising to also celebrate with you when you got back home and you soon got a bunch more congratulations texts from the rest of your friends.

It had been a few more months the music video came out and was amazing as well. Everyone loved it and you even made Kara and your mom cry.

You had just received your platinum record in the mail and your older sisters couldn’t be more proud of you as you were currently getting ready to go out and celebrate at karaoke night with the Super friends.

And one year later you won a Song writers award for the lyrics which was a first for your career, and so amazing to be noticed in that way.

“I really have you guys to thank you guys” you said to your sisters and friends before you were going to perform at the award ceremony they had come too. “With all the conversations we had and the advice you gave me you practically co wrote it,” you said making everyone laugh. You cheersed with them before getting ready to go on stage.

“I never did actually get the red wine out of my dress” you said to your sisters afterwards. “But maybe having my heart broken wasn’t such a bad thing.”

#supergirl #Baby!Danvers #kara danvers #alex danvers #lena luthor #cw #country music

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bokutouch · 3 years ago

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Hi!!! I was wondering if I could get an eternal matchup pls??

- my names Olivia and I’m 17.

- I go by she/her pronouns and I want to be matched with a male character from Haikyuu!! please.

- My birthday is January 6th, 2004 and I’m a Capricorn Sun, Cancer Moon, and Libra Rising (my Mercury is in Sagittarius, my Venus is in Aquarius, and my Mars is in Aries if you wanted to know the rest).

- I’m 5’2, I have brownish-red hair and blue eyes.

- I spend a lot of time doing school work because I’m really driven by it and I’ve had good grades a majority of high school. When I’m not doing schoolwork I enjoy listening to music or going on a walk! I really like going on sunrise/sunset walks bc they’re always really pretty! I try to do community service in my free time because I really enjoy helping others out. I'm currently a summer camp counselor but I hope to be a lab tech one day :)

- If I were to go on a date with a partner I don't really mind what we do, but I like book dates, movie dates, and especially museum dates!! In a partner I'm looking for someone who shares the same interests as me, is kind, has a good sense of humor, and most importantly can understand and work through my emotions with me. I get really bad mood changes so if he can work with me through that I really value it. My love languages are acts of service and quality time.

- I think that one of my fatal flaws is that although I appear kind and respectful when I’m out in public, I have pretty severe anxiety, depression, and anger issues so I struggle with that a lot. I also get really defensive and stubborn when someone says something that annoys me so i kinda never stop talking lol.

- To finish off I’m an ISFP and Enneagram Type 9v1.

- I hope you have a great day! Ty if you do this! ❤

Hello olivia, thanks for coming to my brand new rocket ship!! 🚀

first of all I apologize bcs I'm not really educated about astrology,

so I'll just use your other description as best as I could okay??

I SHIP YOU WITH AKAASHI KEIJI!

"why akaashi?" you might askㅡ

first of all, some part of you reminded me of bokuto.

and some part of you definitely reminded akaashi of bokuto too. it's not a bad thing really.

Akaashi looks at you and think, "ah, she is my home."

because "home" supposed to be comfortable, because home supposed to be familiar. Being with you bring him peace. You are his home, his tranquility, his safe haven.

Most people told him, "God- you are such a boring person, Akaashi." and as the time goes by, he is starting to believe that tooㅡ but thats until you come into his life.

You're one of his classmate. And not gonna lie, at first akaashi only know you as the quiet girl who always buried her nose in books. "If I am boring, she must be a lot more boring than me." that's what he thought of you, bcs really everytime he sees you, its always you and your books. He understands the importance of having good grades, but should you really be doing that everyday?

The first time you two have a really long talk was when one day akaashi saw you still sitting inside your shared classroom, all alone bcs it's almost 6 pm and of course everybody left already. Nose buried deep in books like you always do, but this time he could hear you humming a song- it's a song that he also enjoyed listening to. He never sing in front of other people before, but for some reason he wanted to join your little secret concert at that time, so he did. He sing along to your little hummingㅡ 1 song turn into 2, turn into 3, and you still didn't notice him at all. He laughed a little because "what's so interesting in that clinical laboratory science book that she doesn't even realized I've been here for almost 10 minutes already."

He tapped your shoulder two times, and you jumped at that.

"H-hey? Um, sorry, I just.. I've been waiting here for you to finally notice me but I guess that book is really interesting, huh?" he smiled at you, feeling a little bad after seeing your reaction at his little tap tap on your shoulder.

"Oh, yes... I want to be a lab tech in the future, so um you know, just preparing." you awkwardly smiled back at him.

"Well, uh.. I know you definitely going to be an amazing lab tech one day. I saw you reading tons of books related to that job everyday in class, so... I believe your hardwork will be paid off."

"wait... that was so nice of him." you stared at akaashi who's currently fidgeting with his fingers.

"Thank you for saying that, Akaashi. That really means a lot to me. People have been telling me that my dream job is just that, a dream. Hearing you saying that someday my hardwork will be paid off really motivate me to prove them wrong. I swear I'm gonna rub it on their face once I got the job." you grins at him.

And at that, Akaashi heart beating a little bit faster than the usual. Was it your thankful speech for him? Was it your cute little grin? He doesn't really knowㅡ one thing he knows for sure though, he wants to keep talking to you. From today, tomorrow, and as long as you would let him.

"Hey, uh... it's going to get dark soon. Do you maybe want to go home together with me?"

You could see how nervous akaashi was after asking you that question, so you just nods and start fixing your books into your bag. Right before you zip up your bag, you remembered the main reason you are still in the classroom at that hour is because you were planning to see the sunset on your way back home, "Wait Akaashi, I actually want to see the sunset today..."

"Oh? I usually go home as the sun set due to my volleyball practice. The sight look really pretty if you see it from on top of the hills behind our school. Do you want to go there? I can show you the best spot."

Of course you accept his offer enthusiastically. So yes, that day is the beginning of your friends to lovers type of relationship with Akaashi.

Akaashi confessed to you first.

His friend circle are full of annoying people. They all be like,

"COME ON AKAASHI!! CONFESS YOUR UNDYING LOVE TO OLIVIA ALREADY."

"AKAASHI, DO YOU WANT TO SEE OTHER GUY SNATCH HER UP? HUH? ANSWER ME. AKAASHI!! AKAASHI!! WAIT UP!! "

"AKAASHI, WHAT IF OLIVIA DECIDED TO FALL FOR SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE YOU ARE BEING SUCH A PUSSY AND WON'T CONFESS TO HER?"

"AKAASHI THIS" "AKAASHI THAT" "AKAASHI" "AKAASHI"

so during your usual study date day, he just decided to straight up ask you to be his girlfriend.

"W-what?" you just sat there for a whole minute because... what if things gonna feel different once you two put a real label to your not so friendly friendship? What if being friends with Akaashi is a lot more better than being his girlfriend? What if he ended up leaving you because he doesn't like the real you? There are so many ugly things that you hide from him, would he still love you the same after seeing all those imperfection? so many what if(s) going inside of your head, so little time to actually process each one of it.

"Umm, you can say no, you know...." all the messy thoughts inside your head stopped right away after hearing that.

"NO! wait, Keiji- I mean, not no to be your girlfriend, its no to me saying no to be your girlfriend." God, its hard to be in love. You can't control your heart, your brain, and now your tongue. God bless your soul, olivia.

"So.... is that a yes to be my girlfriend then?" Akaashi looks really small in that moment. He is still not sure if he can finally kiss you or not. Only being a friend to you for these past 6 months kept him from doing a lot of romantic stuff with you. Kissing you, holding your hands for no reason, hugging you any time he wants to, actually go on a study date with you instead of a childish study day. So now he really won't waste a single time if you answer his previous question with a "Yes" ;

After having a long talk about your imperfections, all your insecurities, and also tons of frustrated tears coming from your eyes, you finally say yes and there you have your new title as Akaashi Keiji's new girlfriend. He definitely got his long waited kiss from you too 🌻.

HEADCANON(s)!!

Bokuto once joined you and akaashi's museum date and he broke a statue hand after trying to handshake the statue. He grabbed the broken hand and show it to you and akaashi with teary eyes. Can't do nothing but running for your life and never comeback to that one particular museum 😭

You and Akaashi have the same love language, "Act of Service" ; So the two of you enjoy giving each other little massage here and there.

Just like you, Akaashi love being helpful for others too, so he really enjoyed the time he spent accompanying you to all your community service agendas. People that you two have been helping together ship you guys so much, especially the elderly couple. They keep saying "You two will make it until old days like us two."

After a long time dating eachother, you two decided to adopt a cute siberian husky that you named "Bobo". Akaashi rejected that name at first, because "Honestly love, I don't like how you picked a name so close to Bokuto's name. Our dog deserves better." You gasped at that, "How dare you, Keiji. This is our son! And his name is Bobo. I don't take no for an answer."

RUNNER UP(s) !!

OSAMU MIYA

SAWAMURA DAICHI

SHINSUKE KITA

alright this getting too long haha.

I hope you enjoy the results, love 🦋

#🦋eternal matchup!#angie's matchup🕊#matchup #haikyuu matchup

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path-of-my-childhood · 4 years ago

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Aaron Dessner Talks Taylor Swift’s New Album folklore

By: Sam Sodomsky for Pitchfork Date: July 24th 2020

Like millions of people across the world, Taylor Swift spent the past few months in isolation, stuck at home, changing plans, reflecting on the past, and imagining new connections. One of those new connections was with Aaron Dessner, the multi-instrumentalist and producer from the National.

On release day, he called us from his home in the Hudson Valley to speak about their entirely virtual but highly collaborative process, sounding just as surprised as anyone. “Nobody needs to tell Taylor Swift how to write a song - and I certainly didn’t,” he says with a laugh. “But it did feel like we were going toe-to-toe pushing each other.”

What is your personal relationship with Taylor Swift’s music? I’ve always admired her craftsmanship and talent. But 1989 was the first one I was really listening to as a fan. My brother [Bryce Dessner, guitarist in the National] and I were in Iceland with [performance artist] Ragnar Kjartansson, and he’s a total Swiftie. It was the summer of 1989, and we’d be hanging out listening to it loud. Ragnar is an art historian, so he was just contextualizing every moment. It was a lot of fun. That’s when we became bigger fans.

When did you actually meet her for the first time? We met her at Saturday Night Live in 2014 when Lena Dunham was hosting. And then she came to see us play last summer in Prospect Park during this crazy torrential downpour. She was there with Antoni [Porowski] from Queer Eye. She talked a lot with my brother and me. That’s when we realized how much of a fan she was, and how lovely and down to earth. I don’t know that many people who have that sort of success, so it’s a nice feeling to realize they’re cool. That left a good impression.

She got in touch again at the end of April. I got a text and it said, “Hey it’s Taylor. Would you ever be up for writing songs with me?” I said, “Wow. Of course.” It was a product of this time. Everything we had planned got cancelled. Everything she had planned got cancelled. It was a time when the ideas in the back of your head came to the front. That’s how it started.

You ended up with a credit on 11 of the 16 songs. How did the collaboration get going? At the very beginning of March, Justin Vernon and I had gone to Texas to work on the new Big Red Machine album. I had been living with my family in France as COVID was starting to spiral out of control in Europe. I said to my wife that maybe they should come back to the States with me because I was worried about getting separated. So we got tickets, and my kids and wife flew to [the family’s home in] Upstate New York and I flew to Texas. I was there for a week, and by the time I got back Upstate, the borders were being shut and we got stuck. I have the Long Pond studio here, so in a way it was lucky.

I hunkered down here and started to write a ton of music - more than I ever have. I thought maybe they were National or Big Red Machine ideas or maybe something totally different. Things were happening.

So when [Taylor] reached out, I had this large folder of ideas that were pretty well on their way. She was very clear that she didn’t want me to edit any of my ideas; she wanted to hear everything that was interesting to me at this moment, including really odd, experimental noise. So I made a folder of stuff, including some pretty out-there sketches. A few hours later, she sent “Cardigan,” fully written in a voice memo. That’s when I realized that this was unusual—just the focus and clarity of her ideas. It was pretty astonishing. Over the next couple months, this would just happen; all of a sudden, I’d get a voice memo. And then another. Eventually, it was so inspiring that I wrote more ideas that were specifically in response to what she was writing.

When did it occur to you that an album was forming? There were moments when we started to reflect on what we were doing. The first three songs we wrote were “Cardigan,” “Seven,” and “Peace.” “Cardigan” is probably the closest to a pop song on the record—it’s this epic narrative. And then “Seven” was this nostalgic, wistful, emotional folk song. And then when she wrote “Peace,” I realized she can do anything! She is so versatile. It’s just a harmonized bassline with a pulse and a drone, and she basically wrote a Joni Mitchell love song to it. She only did one vocal take, and that’s what’s on the record.

Were you communicating through the whole process? Yeah. We were pretty much in touch daily for three or four months by text and phone calls. Some of it was about production and restructuring things but a lot of it was just excitement. We both felt that this was some of the best work we have done. That was a strange and surreal thing to have happen, especially at this time.

At one point I was randomly doxxed by right-wing conspiracy theorists who misidentified me as an Antifa organizer in Ohio, long story, but it was in the middle of all this work. I didn’t want to stress her out so I didn’t tell her. But at some point she laughed and said, “So you’re a notorious anarchist?” And I’m like, “Yeah, I was gonna mention that."

How did the collaboration with Bon Iver on “Exile” come about? Taylor wrote that one with the singer-songwriter William Bowery. When Taylor sent it to me as a voice memo, she sang both the male and female parts - as much as she could fit in without losing her breath. We talked about who she was imagining joining her, and she loves Justin [Vernon]’s voice in Bon Iver and Big Red Machine. She was like, “Oh my god, I would die if he would do it. It would be so perfect.” I didn’t want to put pressure on Justin as his friend, so I said, “Well, it depends on if he’s inspired by the song but I know he thinks you’re rad.” Which he does.

So I sent him the song and he was really into it. He tweaked some parts and added parts as well - the bridge where he says, “Step right out.” The end too, and his choral parts. It was fun because Justin and I work on a lot of stuff together, so it was very easy and natural. At some point I felt like a superfan, hearing two of my favorite singers. This was all being done remotely, but it was one of those moments where your head hits the back of the wall and you’re like, “Fuck. Okay.”

There is some fan debate over William Bowery’s identity - I’m not familiar with him. I’m not either. I haven’t actually met him because of social distancing, which is kind of funny. I think he’s a friend.

Did you feel the pressure of working with an artist at Taylor Swift’s level? I tried hard not to think about the scope or scale of making a record that would be heard by millions and millions of people. I did a pretty good job of tuning that out. Music for me is an emotional necessity. It’s therapy. It’s what I live and breathe. All these songs are things I was working on already, and we both felt there was some serendipity in the fact that we ended up in this situation together. I just stayed focused on that, on making this as good as we can.

As the release got closer, I almost thought it wouldn’t happen. Or maybe I just told myself that! The National guys will tell you the same thing - I tend to work until the last possible minute. I didn’t really have a moment to be like, “Holy shit! People are gonna hear this.” We were joking about it last night. I said, “So this actually happened?” And she goes, “Yep!”

What was it like working under total secrecy? There was no outside influence at all. In fact, nobody knew, including her label, until hours before it was launched. For someone who’s been in this glaring spotlight for 15 years, it’s really liberating to have some privacy and work on her own terms. She deserves that. At times, if I wanted friends to play on the record, it was a little difficult because you can’t send a file with her vocals. But everyone was cool. At the end, I reached out to some wizards just to add bits, and that was nice. It was kind of fun: “What? Why can’t you tell me, Aaron?” Then they start guessing. Everyone made a game out of it.

Is there any music that was left on the cutting room floor? There are things I feel could still be songs. It does feel like an ongoing collaboration. Now Taylor is starting to help with other things. We’re bouncing other ideas off each other, whether it’s Big Red Machine or other things. There’s a community aspect. I think that’s how music should be.

#the anarchist comment...please lmao =)#also this could mean she is writing for Bon Iver? or their side projects? now THAT I wouldn't mind at all #Aaron Dessner #interview #about taylor #taylor swift #pitchfork #folklore era #folklore album #release week

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justletmeplayminecraft · 4 years ago

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so @martuzzio‘s space outlaws au gave me another idea for a fic. this is the result. zedaph’s sheep part being afraid of ren which somehow turned into a wider exploration of zed being new to the ship & a not-quite human disaster! is it wider au compliant? who knows! but i had fun writing it. hope you have fun reading.

featuring: it’s harder than expected adapting to being on the same ship as a werewolf when you are, in fact, part sheep. also with copious team zit bullying friendship, stress being stress, and self discovery.

It's only been two weeks on the Hermit Craft when Zedaph realises he has a problem. He meets Ren in the corridor by complete accident. One of the few times he leaves Tango or Impulse's side, and he gets lost. The ship is bigger than anything he's been on before but he doesn't want the embarrassment of asking for help over the communicators. He probably wanders for around an hour before Ren finds him. Ren with his ears and his teeth- oh they're pretty sharp aren't they?

"Hey, Zedaph, right?" Ren holds a hand out. His smile is friendly, but the dark eyes make Zedaph swallow. He puts on a similar smile, reaching out to shake Ren's hand.

"Um, yeah," he replies, "And you're Ren?" He says like he isn't innately aware of the werewolf on the ship.

"That's me!" Ren's ears twitch. "Tango sent me to find you. Thought you might've gotten lost." Zedaph laughs, reaching to rub the back of his neck. He looks down the corridor that looks the same as every other one he's been down today.

"Um, a bit," he admits. He keeps Ren in his vision, shifting his weight from foot to foot. If Ren notices his anxiety (Zedaph's not sure how he couldn't), he doesn't comment on it.

"Good job I've got the super senses to find you!" Ren stands up straight, looking proud of himself as if he didn't just deliver one of the most terrifying things Zed's heard. "I'll take you back to Tango."

Zedaph nods, "I'd appreciate that." As he follows behind Ren, he decides he's going to rip Tango a new one. Well and truly.

See, the thing is: Zedaph isn't human. Not completely. Maybe 85% human if he threw an estimate out there. He doesn't hide this on purpose. In fact, he announces it right there when he introduces himself. Hi, my name's Zedaph, and I'm part sheep! But he doesn't make an effort to correct people when they assume it's a joke. That part is a little more on him. Compared to the other non-humans on board, he's pretty tame. The hair is easy to pass off with a bit of effort. His face is... his face. It's no surprise that the other Hermits assume he's human, nothing more.

It's not a problem, except for Ren.

It's not Ren's fault, of course. Ren's a perfectly nice guy! Probably! He's got a friendly demeanour, often bouncing around the Hermits with bright enthusiasm. Zed even has a list of evidence why Ren is perfectly nice, including: Xisuma lets him on the ship, Tango and Impulse like him, Jellie likes him too! None of these things change the undeniable problem, however, that Ren is a werewolf. Ren is a werewolf and Zedaph is very much part sheep! It is everything Zedaph has been taught to avoid. Now he's living on a ship with it. He's not prepared.

"You sent Ren to get me!" Zedaph whines, pacing the edges of the engine room. Tango twists to look at him.

"Well, he was going to find you fastest. Unless you wanted me to bother Xisuma." Zedaph groans, throwing his arms out.

"I felt like I was going to faint!" He protests, flinging his hand in Tango's direction like it in any way proves his point. Tango turns to face him, crossing his arms.

"Ren's perfectly fine. He's probably one of the least intimidating Hermits." Zedaph shuts his eyes, breathing in deeply.

"I get that. I very much get that. But look at me, Tango."

Tango tilts his head, "I'm looking." Zedaph gives him an unimpressed glare.

"I'm part sheep! He's a werewolf!"

"Ah." Tango's face softens, his tone turning genuine. "This is really bothering you, isn't it?"

"Yes!" Zedaph gathers the strands of hair that have fallen into his face. He twists them back into the rest. "I can't just avoid him forever!" Tango hums, tapping his foot.

"I'm sure we can figure something out," he says, sounding far calmer than Zed feels.

"We're going to have to." He needs to get over himself. He only just got here, he can't go disrupting things and getting kicked out. No, he's not losing Tango and Impulse again so soon. No way. "When does he next transform, anyway?" Tango squints his eyes to think.

"I'm not sure," he admits, "a week or two? He had one a few days before you arrived." Thankfully, Zedaph's world ending sigh remains internal. How is he supposed to cope with a transformed werewolf on the ship? He drags his hands down his face.

"Tango, I'm going to die." Tango rolls his eyes. Zedaph ducks the wrench that is thrown at him.

"We only just got you back! We're not losing you again because you're afraid of a lovable, fluffy were-Ren."

Zed feels some of the pressure leave his chest as the tone lightens. "Now you're bullying me. Impulse wouldn't bully me."

"Once you get over this fear," Tango tells him, "We're both going to bully you."

"Oh! You come here where I can fight you!"

"What, you can't handle this heat?"

"Get over here!"

The topic comes back up again in the evening. Impulse is in the middle of complaining that Zedaph needs his own clothes. He's started doing that this last week. Zedaph agrees. He does want his own wardrobe - two somewhat tattered robes and his precious shawl are nowhere near enough - but he wants to annoy Impulse even more. It's only Impulse's clothes he steals. Tango's are all too well fitted, hold too much heat, or are literally on fire. Never mind how hot his room is.

"I don't mind it," Impulse amends, despite the evidence contrary, "But those are literally singed. I can't wear them." Okay, maybe he should’ve been more careful in the engine room.

"It's Tango's fault!" He interjects. "He provoked me!"

"We'll find a way to repair them-" Tango waves him off, "-Get Zed some clothes whilst we do." Zedaph rolls onto his back, sticking his feet on Impulse's lap.

"I want to look cute," he decides. Impulse pats his feet, rolling his eyes.

"We still need to get you a proper suit." Zedaph looks at Tango, dressed in his. He smiles to himself, settling down again and getting comfortable. His own suit, with all the labels. He'd be a proper Hermit then. They want him to be one.

"We'll get there," Tango drops into the armchair, kicking his legs over the arm. "But, you want to know what tasty news I learnt today?" Zedaph pokes his head up to glare at him.

"Don't you-"

"Zedaph here is afraid of Ren!" Zedaph groans. Impulse frowns, allowing Tango to steal the bowl of popcorn from his lap.

"Ren? Why's that?" Zedaph sighs, closing his eyes.

"He's a werewolf and I'm like, part sheep. Very distantly, yes, but I just- it's hard! I know he's probably a nice person-"

"He is. He's a nice person."

"He is a nice person, but I feel nervous around him. He's got those eyes and the ears and the teeth."

"Okay. And that makes you nervous?" Impulse sounds genuinely concerned. Zedaph opens his eyes to see his sympathetic expression.

"I guess? I feel kind of stupid about it. I mean, I'm okay with Tango and he's literally on fire."

"Hell yeah I am," Tango murmurs, shoving popcorn into his mouth.

"We can figure things out," Impulse reassures him. "Explain the situation, give you some space whilst you get used to him." Zedaph hums, his eyes slipping shut again.

"I don't want to be afraid of him," he admits. He pulls the pillow behind him into his arms, pressing it against his chest. "I don't wanna upset him and get kicked out." He hears a sharp inhale.

"You're not going to be kicked anywhere," Impulse tells him, voice confident. "We won't let you."

"Besides, you think we get along all the time?" Tango adds. "We have fights and whatever. But we're adults. We figure that out."

"You'll be fine, Zed. We've gotten over bigger hurdles." Zedaph rolls onto his side, letting the words wash over him like a blanket.

"Yeah-" He yawns "-I don't think I'm gonna stay awake for movie night." Impulse rubs his leg.

"You get some sleep, buddy. We'll be right here."

"Yep. Can't get rid of us that easily."

"I'd hope not," Zedaph replies. This can wait until the morning.

Just because it can wait doesn't mean anything changes. Zedaph finds himself growing more anxious when he learns about Ren's calendar marked Transformation Day. He stops looking at the calendars altogether. He's sworn Tango and Impulse to secrecy for now. Out of embarrassment, more than anything. This is a uniquely him problem, after all. The other two can't solve it for him.

They do help, though. He thinks they're having fun with it, telling him where Ren is in the ship, eating meals with him, acting as a buffer when needed. It can't last forever, though. Zedaph thinks the others are noticing them always skirting out of rooms if Ren is there. Or sitting all the way on the other side. Just... It's going to raise questions eventually.

And, eventually, he's going to get caught out.

As much as the three stick together (they have a lot of time to make up for) Zedaph ends up on his own occasionally. He's trying to reach out to the other Hermits. He can't live on this ship and not know anyone. So it's only natural, that whilst he's on his own, Ren approaches him. It's a near thing, but Zedaph's relieved he doesn't faint after turning to him.

"Hey, um, Zedaph?" Ren's shoulders are dipped, his hands twisting together in front of him. Zedaph stumbles back a step, waving before slamming his hand by his side.

"Ren! Hello!" He shuffles his hands before clutching them together to hide any shaking. "Can I help you?" Ren shakes his head, his ears strangely flat.

"No, I just- Have I done anything to upset you, man?" Zedaph presses his lips together, trying to put together his phrasing.

"No, no, you're absolutely fine. Nothing's wrong with you." He digs his fingers into his hand, resisting the urge to wave them around like an absolute fool. "I'm the problem. Oh now it sounds like we're breaking up. No- just- I'm the problem. Not you. You're fine. Lovely, even."

"Oh." Ren smiles, a hint of canines showing behind his lips. Zed feels his stomach drop.

"That being said I, uh, really need to be somewhere I'm really sorry I need to go-" Ren's eyes widen and he steps back.

"Oh, that's fine, yeah-" Zedaph glances down the hallway, backing away from Ren.

"That's great, I'll, um, see you around some time!" He continues quickly down the corridor, not turning away from Ren until he rounds the corner.

So, yeah. That could've gone better.

"You've been upsetting Ren." Zedaph startles at the appearance of Stress in front of him. Her arms are crossed tight across her chest and hair shadows her eyes. He winces.

"I have?" His voice squeaks and he can feel heat rising to his cheeks.

"Yes." Her expression betrays nothing. "You've been avoiding him and I want to know why." Zedaph's mouth hangs open, searching for words.

"I'm part sheep."

She blinks, "You what?" The confusion is far preferable to that glare.

"Well, like, not technically a sheep? It's a species that's distantly related to a sheep. It's kind of complicated and involves a history of gene splicing and experimentation. But I'm not entirely human and being around Ren makes me nervous."

"Okay." Stress puts her hand on Zedaph's arm, pulling him into the med-bay.

"Wha- Stress?" She sits him on one of the beds, pulling up a chair and opening a file. Zedaph tries to peer around and read the reversed text. "Is that my record?" She gives no suggestion she heard him.

"Alright." She looks up at him, hand poised to type. "You're going to explain all that to me properly."

"All what?"

"Your species, dummy!" She rolls her eyes with a flair of dramatic. "I'm pretty much your doctor! I gotta know what I'm treating."

"Oh." That makes more sense.

"Yeah, oh! Medically negligent you are. We'll come back to the Ren issue, this is more important."

"I'm not planning to get injured anytime soon." She laughs, high and carefree, shaking her head.

"You've been on this ship for like a month!" She replies. Her entire demeanour has changed with her smile. Her shoulders have dropped, legs kicking as she types. Her accent is stronger too. "Everyone's a danger magnet. So come on. Give me the deets."

It's easy to talk to Stress once he gets past the Ren issue. He's not talked to any of the Hermits about his family yet. Stress listens, noting things down and saying she'll do more research on any differences she needs to know. When she asks to touch his hair, he agrees and enjoys the delighted look on her face as she plays with it. It leaves them in a much better place to talk about Ren when she next brings it up.

"So," she says, in that tone where you know something bad will follow it. "Ren being a werewolf makes you nervous."

"Yeah." He leans back on the bed. "It's not his fault. It's just my prey instinct. I don't know how to get over it." Stress hums, drumming her hands against her thighs.

"What about exposure therapy?"

"Exposure therapy?"

"You know, where you like, do stuff with the thing that scares you-"

Zedaph holds his hands up, "No, no, no. I know what it is." He shoves his hands between his legs. "Last time I spoke to Ren I saw his teeth and had to flee."

Stress frowns, "Yeah, he may've mentioned that." Zedaph feels all his dignity draining away. "We can figure this out though. I know he transforms in-" She holds the word as she checks her calendar, "Four days now. He wouldn't want to spook you accidentally. Not more than he already has. He thinks he's done something awful to you without realising."

"No! Of course not."

"Exactly. I mean, look." She slides her phone into her hand. "Maybe I can show you pictures of him? That might help." Zedaph sighs, offering a tired nod.

"We've not got any better ideas." He leans across as Stress adjusts herself so he can see the pictures. She shuffles as she flicks through them faster than Zedaph can take them in. She backtracks a few.

"Okay, here we go!" Zedaph looks at the picture, of the ball of fluff taking up half of the picture. For a werewolf he is... Remarkably fluffy looking. He can just about make out a face in the darkness, eyes shut and a tongue sticking out.

"That's Ren?" Zedaph asks, glancing to her. She nods and flicks through a couple.

"He's a bit loud, but he's a right softie, really." She plays a video of Ren chasing after a ball, tail wagging. Zedaph raises a hand to hide his smile. "He doesn't know I have these, don't tell him."

"Is he always this... Dog like?" Zedaph asks, leaning onto his hands.

Stress nods, "He is! A proper cutie." She flicks to the next one, Ren smiling wide. Zedaph cringes away, pulling his arms up for protection. She looks at him, rubbing his arm encouragingly. "It's okay! It's only a picture." Zedaph bounces, breathing slowly until he gets the courage to look again. Ren's not in a scary pose. Still a massive fluffball, lying on his back. Zedaph still finds it hard to breathe if he focuses on those teeth.

"He's... He's cute looking?" Zedaph can't even force himself to sound sure. Stress laughs, bumping his shoulder.

"We can work on it! We'll get you warmed up to him."

"Yeah. Yeah, I think that would be nice."

"You managed to eat with him in the same room." Impulse sounds so proud for such a simple statement. Both him and Tango have been busy today, so Zedaph ended up spending it with Stress, acting as an assistant when Hermits came through the med-bay. It was interesting. He still needs to find a role on this ship. Somewhere where he fits. He can't be Impulse and Tango's shadow forever.

"Yeah," he replies, feeling a bit proud of himself too. Sure Ren was on the other side of the room, but he still sat there! He only got a little nervous when Ren laughed!

"See, we told you it would get better." Tango is leaning on the wall outside his room. It's nice having this moment before they part ways for the night. Or at least, when they’ve decided to sleep.

"It's a start," Zedaph corrects. He has work to do until he's completely comfortable with Ren. He doesn't want to cause problems with the already stressful transformation.

"Look at you." Impulse rubs Zedaph's hair, pressing it against his head. "Being grown up and stuff."

"I've been grown up for awhile," Zedaph reminds him. "And I still act older than Tango."

"Hey."

"That's not hard."

"Hey." Zedaph laughs, resting his hands on his hips. Tango scoffs at both of them. "I get no respect."

"Well," Impulse smiles pleasantly, "Maybe if you did something for us to respect you."

"Oh I am so going to burn the rest of your clothes."

"No you are not!" Zedaph snorts, standing out of the way. He's missed this. He's really missed this.

"Hey, Zedaph?" He doesn't jump this time when Ren calls to him. He turns and smiles, offering a wave.

"Hi, Ren! It's nice to see you." Ren offers a small smile in return, keeping his lips together. Zedaph focuses on his eyes instead. He's figuring this out. He's doing it.

"I just wanted to let you know I'm transforming tomorrow. You gonna be okay? Know what part of the ship to stay away from?" Zedaph nods, a soft feeling in his chest.

"Yeah, Stress gave me the brief." A very thorough brief. He had to take notes. "I'll be fine. You've got to take care of yourself!" Ren laughs, hiding his mouth with his hand.

"I've got Stress to look after me, don't you worry. We're practised."

"Good! I'm sorry for making all this awkward for you. I'm figuring it out, promise."

Ren shakes his head, "No, I get it. It's not fun having instincts you can't turn off. We'll muddle through this, yeah?"

"Yeah! You seem like a cool guy."

"So do you. See you on the other side?" Zedaph nods in agreement.

"See you on the other side."

"Remember when Zed was afraid of Ren?" Zedaph blinks his eyes open, poking his head up from Ren's fur. He can see Ren's eyes glinting in the darkness as he stretches out beneath him.

"Remember when you two didn't bully me?" Zedaph whines, yawning as he stretches into an upright position.

"Nope, definitely not." Tango is stood in the doorway, Impulse poking his head around. Zedaph moves to pet through Ren's fur. It's always so soft and silky.

"We came to check if you two wanted anything, ignore him." Impulse pulls Tango back as he speaks. Zedaph smiles, looking down to Ren.

"You need anything?" Ren blinks, shaking his head. He sets it back down again, obviously stifling a yawn. Zedaph just makes sure to avoid looking at the teeth. "We're good."

"Okay. Don't be afraid to contact us if you do, alright?"

"Will do," Zed assures them. He's not afraid of reaching out anymore. The Hermits are like a family. He doesn't know where he'd be without them.

"We'll see you in the morning!" Tango calls.

"Have a good night."

"You too," Zedaph replies. He settles back onto Ren as the door closes, resting his cheek against the warm fur. "I missed them, you know?" He whispers, running his fingers through Ren's fur. He can see Ren's eyes watching him, deep and focused. He smiles. "They're like my brothers. It was hard with them gone." He laughs, throwing his other arm across Ren. "But now I've got all of you. I think that's an improvement, right?"

Ren makes a tiny bark, something he apparently practised just for Zed.

"Yeah. I agree," he smiles, before breaking into a giggle. "Thanks for tonight. You're a comfy pillow." Ren's tail beats gently against the ground. "I'm glad we've figured things out." He lets his eyes slip closed, breathing out. "Right-" he yawns, "-I'm going back to sleep." Ren exhales beneath him, leaving Zedaph to sink into his fur.

Yeah, he could get used to this.

#hc #space outlaws #space outlaws au #my writing #the biggest canon thing is that idk if stress would be established yet #idk but i think they were both s5 additions #also personal hc is that zed was running from something before finding the hermits #hence the lack of possessions n having to find somewhere to fit #but that is my personal hc #that i have gone surprisingly in depth with already i got Ideas #anyway ill stop tag rambling now i gotta sleep #if the read more doesnt work ill lose it

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rainbowbutterfrosting · 3 years ago

Text

The Revived - Chapter 4: Reunion

This is chapter 4 of the dream smp fic @dramaticsnakes and I are writing. Thank you to @r0w3n-1n-d0ugh for beta-reading this chapter!

AO3

Read in order (on Tumblr)

Characters in this chapter: Wilbur, Tubbo, and Ranboo

Word count: 2,988

Cw: discussions of burns, medical treatment, mentions of hospitals, implied anxiety, implied suicidal behavior, crying

Fic summary: Wilbur was alive, and it was such a magnificent feeling, that made his mind spark with anticipation. It didn’t take long, however, for Wilbur to realize that this new breath of life, was not just his own. An echo-y voice hides in the back of his mind, and before he knows it, the transparent version of him he saw at the endless train station, is a lot more ingrained than he’d expected him to be.

And Wilbur really shouldn’t care. Because he’d be damned, if he spent the life he’d awaited for so long, babysitting a lost cause of a ghost, stuck in the very same limbo Wilbur spent so long in. It was an even exchange, and one Wilbur wasn’t going to mess with. Why exactly he ends up setting out to get the ghost out of his mind, in order to save the both of them, however, is beyond him. And perhaps Wilbur’s past isn’t as easy to leave behind, as he’d hoped it would be.

Tubbo led Wilbur over to a room near the entrance of the house. It was mostly empty except for some boxes labeled with markers. From where Wilbur was, nothing seemed special at first. There were some labeled with clothes, furniture, and pictures, but there was a box named ‘Michael’ that was unlike the others. The peculiar box had some drawings on the side of it. There were three… people in it? The drawings were too shaky to be easily determined, and Wilbur didn’t have the time nor patience to decipher them.

Tubbo caught where Wilbur was staring, “Oh, don’t mind the boxes. We know which ones will have the medkits.” Wilbur nodded as if that was the main question in his mind. Yet, he didn’t want his reunion with Tubbo to be filled with him eavesdropping on his new life.

“Where should I sit?”

Tubbo looked away bashfully, “Oh! I uh, we mostly just sit on the floor.”

Wilbur walked towards one of the walls and slouched against it. His legs still ached from his fight with the ghast, and he gave himself a moment of peace as he closed his eyes.

Apparently, he gave the peace to Ghostbur too, “Thank you. It was starting to hurt again.”

Wilbur mouthed, “No problem,” before realizing that Tubbo and Ranboo were staring at him, with Tubbo looking him directly in the eyes and Ranboo focusing on his burns.

Wilbur propped himself up slightly, “Am I in the way of something?”

Tubbo pursed his lips, “No, it’s just-” He exhaled, “Nothing.”

Wilbur rolled his eyes, “Tubbo, if I’m in the way you can just tell me.” Though Tubbo just shook his head and smiled awkwardly in response. Ranboo kneeled down next to Wilbur and opened the medkit. There didn’t seem to be too much in it, but Wilbur couldn’t judge since he didn’t need a hospital to treat his wounds.

Ranboo quietly asked something he couldn’t hear, with Wilbur’s confused glance, Ranboo said it slightly louder, “S-so Wilbur, uh, does it hurt right now?”

Wilbur barely resisted the urge to scoff at him, “I wouldn’t be here if they didn’t.”

“Wilby, that wasn’t very nice,” Ghostbur commented.

Wilbur sighed, “Sorry, I’ve had a rough day so far.” His words grew quieter near the end, embarrassed that he needed to apologize to someone he barely knew.

He might’ve expected Ranboo to make fun of him for not having armor or say he was an idiot for going alone, but the boy only nodded and slightly tilted Wilbur’s face towards him. A focused expression came across Ranboo’s face as Wilbur held still.

Ranboo looked somewhat relieved when he said, “Second-degree at the chin, but uh, first-degree at the surrounding area.”

Tubbo nodded, “Do you know what to do?”

Ranboo shifted his focus to Tubbo, “N-not exactly, but I’ve got a general idea. Sorry, I-” Ranboo tightly closed his eyes and hid his face with one of his hands. An enderman vwoop came out in small chirps. Tubbo kneeled down to where Ranboo was and held his other hand. His eyebrows were knitted together with concern, but he tried to have a small smile on his face.

Tubbo’s voice lowered to a whisper, “Hey, Boo, it’s alright. How about we head outside?” Ranboo responded with a shake of his head. Then came another enderman vwoop, one that sounded like a constant buzz that made Wilbur slightly cringe from the unpleasant sound. Ranboo nodded and stood up, still covering his face with his hand, and Tubbo stood up with him. Tubbo mouthed something to Wilbur that wasn’t clear to him as the married couple exited the building.

“Aww, poor Ranboo. Ranboo said he’s never met you before but I can explain! Sometimes, he gets… how did Tubbo describe it? I- I don’t think I can remember.” Ghostbur sighed.

Wilbur shifted slightly to look around the corner, and when he couldn’t see anyone, he whispered back, “It’s alright if you don’t know the exact wording, just give me the general idea.”

“Well, I’m not too sure. All I know is that it can be really unpleasant for him. Once when it started happening, Tubbo started counting. I’m not sure why though, maybe Ranboo really likes numbers.”

Wilbur rolled his eyes and made a sharp exhale out of his nose that could have been recognized as a laugh, “I don’t think-” Did Wilbur want to ruin his fun? The ghost was already in limbo. The most he could do was play around with his silly ideas. “Yeah, maybe he really likes numbers.” Wilbur could barely keep himself from laughing at himself saying the statement.

Ghostbur gasped excitedly, “You really think so? Hm, maybe you should ask what his favorite number is.”

Wilbur wanted to close his eyes and rest, but he didn’t want Tubbo or Ranboo walking back in seeing him talk to himself. “Mhm, that’s a… good idea.” Wilbur yawned near the end, his adrenaline crash hitting him rougher than he expected.

“Are you okay?”

Wilbur nodded then remembered that Ghostbur couldn’t see him, “Yeah, yeah. Just a… yeah, I’m fine.”

Ghostbur’s confusion showed in his tone, “I’m not sure what the word for it is, but you seem pretty… the word isn’t sad, because it’s not exactly an emotion, but it takes over your head like the sad thoughts would.”

Wilbur sighed, “Tired?”

“Yeah! I’ve heard that sleeping helps when you’re tired. Not sure though, I haven’t tried it out myself. Maybe you could ask Tubbo and Ranboo.”

Maybe the exhaustion was making Ghostbur… not exactly funny, but somehow adorable in a way that made him want to giggle along with him. “I’ve… I’ve tried sleep… pretty nice.”

“So if you’ve done it before, why aren’t you sleeping now?”

“Supposed to be polite and shit. Not polite to fall asleep in someone else’s house.”

“But didn’t you fall asleep in Techno’s house?”

Wilbur made a confused noise, “Nah, I fell asleep in Phil’s house.”

Ghostbur huffed, not understanding the situation, “But Phil is a someone else, so therefore, you already slept in someone else’s house.”

Wilbur chuckled, “Oh, Ghostie,” Wilbur heard footsteps walking along the spruce floor, and stopped whispering to his counterpart.

Tubbo peaked his head out, holding a silver bucket in his hands. He walked towards Wilbur’s direction, looking calmer than before as he sat down next to him and grabbed a rag from the medkit.

“What’s all that noise?” Ghostbur asked.

Wilbur needed to lay down some rules for communication for Ghostbur, but he decided not to do it while Tubbo was there. “Is he alright?”

“Yeah.” Wilbur raised his eyebrows, expecting some kind of explanation, but he supposed it wasn’t his business. Tubbo dipped the rag into his bucket of water and gave the rag to Wilbur. “Hold it where it hurts the most.” Wilbur held it to his chin, both him and Ghostbur giving an exhale of relief.

“It doesn’t feel as good as the stuff from before. Can we go back to that?”

Tubbo gently grabbed the hand that wasn’t holding the rag and Wilbur winced from the pain before realizing that his hand wasn’t even burned. When he dodged one of the fireballs he must’ve scrapped his hands on a wall along the way. Tubbo laid Wilbur’s hand down, grabbing another rag from the medkit and dipping it into the water.

“This might hurt a bit,” Tubbo stated as he dabbed the wet rag onto Wilbur’s hand. Once most of the dirt was cleaned, Tubbo looked closely at the skin and let out a sigh of relief. “I don’t see anything inside your hands so that’s good.”

“Wait- Ranboo told me there were veins and blood inside hands. Did you lose those somehow?”

Wilbur barely held back a giggle, “Yeah, that’s good.”

Ghostbur gasped, “No that’s not good! Your hands won’t have any circulation!”

Wilbur laughed but tried his best to cut it off short with a cough after seeing Tubbo’s concerned glance.

Tubbo looked skeptical as he placed a hand on Wilbur’s forehead. “Have you been coughing a lot?”

“Not really, just happens every now and then.”

“Hm. Let me have the rag for a second.” Wilbur gave him the rag as Tubbo redipped it into the water. “Continue holding it to where it hurts, but hold it with the other hand.” Wilbur nodded and did what he was told. Tubbo grabbed the now free hand and cleaned it like he did the other one. Some dried blood came off which caused Tubbo to frown.

Tubbo fished around the medkit before he grabbed a small tube. It had a label Wilbur couldn’t read, but he wasn’t too worried about what it was. He taught Tubbo all the medical knowledge he knew during one of the first wars. He would’ve told it to Tommy, but he didn’t have an interest in it.

Tubbo uncapped the tube and rubbed the semi-transparent paste onto Wilbur’s hands. He winced at the pain, but Tubbo kept going.

“Wilbur, Wilbur, Wilbur,” Ghostbur hissed. Wilbur wished he could comfort Ghostbur, but he remained silent throughout the ghost’s pleas.

Tubbo grabbed a roll of gauze and started carefully wrapping it around Wilbur’s hand so it would hold itself together. He tucked in the end and gestured for Wilbur’s other hand. Wilbur complied and tried to hold the rag in a way that didn’t touch any of the bandages that were already done. Tubbo raised an eyebrow, “Where are your gloves?”

“Most likely in my pocket…” Wilbur mumbled as he hung the rag on the side of the bucket. Tubbo continued rubbing the paste onto Wilbur’s hand, then wrapped the gauze around it as well. After searching his first pocket with no success, his second one had both gloves in there. He sighed in relief and put on both of his gloves once Tubbo put his hand down.

Tubbo gently grabbed the bottom of Wilbur’s chin and tilted it upwards. He made a sound of worry then let his hand fall from the man’s face.

“I don’t know how to handle burns,” Tubbo quietly stated.

“That makes two of us,” Wilbur shrugged. Although he was slightly disappointed that Tubbo didn’t learn how to, he couldn’t blame the boy either.

Wilbur started to get up when Tubbo brought Wilbur back down using his arm, but instead of yanking him backward, it gently brought him to the wall he’s been laying on. “What are you doing?”

Wilbur slightly tilted his head, “I’m leaving?”

Ghostbur whined, “Aww, but we didn’t even get to have any fun.”

Tubbo looked at him with disbelief, “We haven’t even treated your burns yet, you can’t leave.”

Wilbur groaned, closing his eyes in frustration, “You’re not my dad.”

“Don’t worry, he should be here soon. Well- him or Techno.”

Wilbur sat up immediately, “What!?”

Tubbo’s casual expression shifted into one of worry, “I said that Phil or Techno should probably be here soon. Did you hit your head too?”

“No no, I-” Wilbur’s mind flashed with his and Techno’s fight. He didn’t even say goodbye to his father before he left. He’d be lucky if either of them would even look him in the eye, let alone help him medically. “I just have to go.” Wilbur shakily stood up, exhaustion filling his mind.

Tubbo’s voice turned shaky, “Wilbur, just talk to me. What’s going on?”

“Wilbur?” Ghostbur was quiet compared to how loud Wilbur’s mind was.

Wilbur ran a hand through his hair, “It’s fine, it’s fine, I’m fine. It’s all just fine, and I’m good to leave!”

Wilbur moved towards the exit before Tubbo stood in front of him, blocking his way out. “Wilbur, please, at least let us treat your burns. I- I know you hate me but you don’t need to leave so soon.”

“Wait, you never told me you hated Tubbo,” Ghostbur’s voice creaked with melancholy. “Is there anyone you like? I- I don’t like jumping to conclusions, but first, you don’t like Techie and now you don’t like Tubbo either. D-Do you also not like me?” The last words wavered more compared to Ghostbur’s typical tone.

“It’s not like that- it’s- it’s more than just that.”

Tubbo looked confused, and Wilbur was reminded of past betrayals and moments of heightened caution. He was reminded of young Tubbo, hesitant to take a stand, his voice now booming with strained determination. Tubbo yelled, tears on the verge of spilling, “Then tell me!”

Wilbur spent so long in limbo he forgot that people might still have attachments to him. He almost hoped that everyone would forget so that he could go back to being himself without any problems. “Tubbo…” Wilbur stepped forward slowly, showing Tubbo he wasn’t going to do anything sudden, and in exchange, Tubbo watched his every move. His eyes occasionally darting to other parts of his body. When Wilbur was right in front of the boy he stopped walking.

A moment of silence was exchanged between the two before Wilbur bent down slightly and hugged Tubbo. At first, Tubbo didn’t reciprocate, but seconds after, he slowly put his arms around Wilbur. The grip was weak, probably to give Wilbur time to pull away, but he soon tightened his arms around Wilbur, exhaling in relief.

“W- Wilbur?” Tubbo’s body shook with a sob, but he mostly tried to keep his cries quiet.

“Yeah, Tubs?”

“Are you j- just gonna leave again?” Tubbo’s voice broke at the last word, his composure only lasting so long. Wilbur squeezed tightly in response.

“Why… haven’t you responded yet?” Ghostbur wasn’t crying yet his voice mimicked the sadness in Tubbo’s.

At least a minute stretched between them before Wilbur pulled away. Although he wanted to view Tubbo as a pure equal in the situation, he couldn’t help but give him pity once he saw the boy’s red-rimmed eyes.

“Sorry, man, I didn’t mean to get so emotional,” Tubbo sniffled and whipped his face into his sleeve.

Wilbur put a hand on Tubbo’s shoulder, “It’s fine. You’re allowed to have your emotions.” Although he didn’t mean to, his voice softened into a warmness that he rarely presented.

“Does this mean you’re staying?” Ghostbur’s hesitance spoke more than his words ever could.

Wilbur took a deep breath in, “Tubbo, you’re not an idiot so I’m going to be honest with you.” Tubbo slowly nodded. “I… I can’t really promise myself staying.”

“...okay.” His voice harmonized with Ghostbur’s.

“Okay.” Wilbur gave Tubbo’s shoulder one last part before removing his hand.

“Just-” Tubbo’s words came out slower than they normally would have, “Next time you go and… get a life taken away, just please say goodbye before you do it.”

Wilbur gave Tubbo a confused look, “I- Tubbo I just meant I can’t stay at the mansion.” It wasn’t a complete lie. He did mean that he couldn’t stay at the mansion, but what he heavily implied was one of his main thoughts at the moment.

But Tubbo took this lie gratefully, “Oh! I- Oh wow, I really took that the wrong way.” They both awkwardly laughed to themselves.

They stood like that for a little, when Tubbo’s expression suddenly shifted, glancing at a couple of the boxes around them. He bit his lip nervously. “I uh, need to go do something real quick.” he rubbed the back of his head, “I’ll be right back!”

Wilbur nodded in response, as Tubbo walked to a nearby box that Wilbur couldn’t make out the words on, and picked it up. He walked out the door, his posture certainly a little more sheepish, and Wilbur was left alone.

“What happened? Where’d Tubbo go?” Ghostbur asked, his voice quiet, yet less sad than before, “And what was that nice feeling?”

“Hm?” Wilbur asked.

“That nice feeling, like being close to Friend, or… Like safety, wrapped around me?” Ghostbur tried.

Wilbur inhaled, “Oh.” he said. That made sense, perhaps. Ghostbur had felt the relief from the wound being treated too. “I hugged Tubbo.” Wilbur said, feeling a little awkward saying it out loud, “You must’ve felt that, somehow.”

“Oh! Oh, that’s really nice!” Ghostbur said excitedly, “Can I feel everything you feel? How exactly does all of this work?”

“I’m not… Certain.” Wilbur replied honestly, “But perhaps.” his voice turned a little quieter at the last part, as he thought of the implications of that. Because if Wilbur getting hurt, would keep hurting Ghostbur in return, that made the entire thing so much more difficult. It was simpler, when it was just Wilbur, piecing himself together, and taking what belonged to him, despite what it would cost him in the end. But if this voice, that held a tight involuntary grip around Wilbur’s mind, would be affected by all of it too, it made decisions so much harder. It made Wilbur’s plans so much harder because some things couldn’t just be explained away, and the mere thought of those painful screams from before, made Wilbur shiver.

And a brief thought was clear to Wilbur in that moment even if he didn’t say it out loud. He needed to get Ghostbur out of his mind, whatever that would mean. Wilbur needed to keep all of this to himself, because if he ever wanted to complete any of his plans, then dragging around a ghost like that… Someone who remembered so little, yet experienced things just as vividly, would make everything Wilbur wanted to do impossible.

Wilbur heard Tubbo shuffling around with things upstairs when he saw his chance to leave. He had things to get done, and a mind to quiet down. He rushed to the front door, turned the handle and opened it, just about to run outside, when he saw them.

A nervous Ranboo, hunched over, behind a figure that stood tall and confidently. Someone who looked at Wilbur with an expression of cold aggravation. Wilbur swallowed something in his throat. “Hello, Techno…”

#c!tubbo #tubbo #ranboo #c!ranboo #Ghostbur #Wilbur #c!wilbur #dream smp #dsmp

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fearfulkittenwrites · 4 years ago

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“Just a normal night”

Inspired by @s-mscott - link for the art, please check it out!

Word count: 2832

Notes: HEY. THIS IS JUST BEEN SITTING ON MY FILES FOR THE LONGEST TIME AND I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT IT DKJFHAKJHAKJDFH. Anyway, it's a long time coming. The writing probs isn't as neat or as good as the latest uploads bc of that, but... idk. Hopefully it's good! I couldn't bring myself to edit it again, sorry about that. I hope you can enjoy it anyways and please go check out the artist, @s-mscott!

“Guys?” Dick asked, on his tiptoes as he rummaged through every cabinet in the huge kitchen “Hey are we out of cereal? I can’t find my Lucky Charms anywhere.”

“I think so.” Jason answered “I ate the last of the Lucky Charms last night.”

“Yep.” Tim said, popping the ‘p’ as he slid through the countertop, landing a bit behind Dick “I had the last of the frosted flakes two days ago.”

“Froot Loops?” Dick asked.

“I had those.” Duke answered “Sorry.”

“Fruity Pebbles?”

Cass raised her hand, looking at the ground.

“Reese’s Puffs?”

“I finished the box yesterday.” Damian announced, crossing his arms as he leaned against the marble sink.

“Damn.” Dick murmured and pouted as he closed the cabinet’s door “I’ve been craving cereal today.”

“We can always go get some.” Jason shrugged.

“At three in the morning?” Duke asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Actually, four.” Jason corrected, putting up a finger “And yeah, why not? I mean, we had a hard patrol tonight, and if Dick wants some cereal, I say let’s go get some cereal.”

“It’s four in the morning, Todd.” Damian said.

“I mean, the closest Walmart is open 24/7.” Tim interfered.

“You can’t be seriously considering this, Grayson.” Damian frowned at his older brother.

“Why not? I’m not sleepy anyways.” Dick crossed his arms and shrugged.

“Yes!” Jason hissed “Late night adventures with the baby bats. Let’s roll!” He clapped his hands once, and started to walk out of the kitchen, his siblings following him to the garage.

“Oh wait!” Dick said “Let’s ring up Bruce and see if there’s anything else we need.”

“Bold of you to assume he’d know what we need.” Tim interfered.

“Yeah, well, it’s worth a shot. Plus, do any of us really want to wake up Alfred to ask him?” Dick said, taking his communicator out of his pocket and placing it in his ear “B? Have a sec?” He asked

“Nightwing. What’s wrong?” Came the answer, Batman’s raspy voice flowing through the device.

“Oh, nothing’s wrong. We’re going to take a quick trip to the supermarket, I wanted to ask if you need anything.”

“... At four in the morning?”

“Yeah. Do you need anything?”

Bruce sighed.

“We’re running out of the coffee blend that Tim likes. Alfred the cat’s favorite treats have been gone since last week, and Cass’ favorite ice cream is done. Oh, buy Duke that soda he likes, I drank the last can. Also, Jason’s cookies and that brand of chips you like, we ran out of those. Oh, and buy something with Iron in it, I’m worried that Damian might not be getting enough.”

“Like spinach?” Dick said, writing it down on his phone’s notes.

“Yeah, that’ll do. Ah, and we’re a little low on milk.”

“Okay. Will keep that in mind. Thanks B, have a nice patrol.”

“Please don’t give the papers any headlines.”

“You got it, B. Bye.”

He placed the device back on his pocket.

“Okay, there’s a lot of stuff to buy, so let’s get going. I’ll drive.”

“Shotgun!” Jason yelled.

“We’re taking the S.U.V., one of you will need to ride in the trunk.” Dick said.

“I’ll go.” Cass’ eyes twinkled. No one could understand why she was always so fascinated with the idea of riding in the trunk, but she seemed to find it fun and all of them thought that her excitement was cute.

“Alright then.” Dick smiled, ruffling her hair. Her grin grew wider, and Duke set her hair straight again before they got into the car.

“Hey, can I play my music?” Tim asked from the backseat.

“Don’t force us to listen to the atrocity Drake calls music, Grayson.” Damian complained, arms crossed “Let me play something.”

“Uh, I’d rather not listen to Mozart and Bach while we’re in the car.” Duke protested.

“It’s called classic for a reason, Thomas.”

“Doesn’t matter, bat-brat.” Jason said “I’m with him on this one. Besides, universal car rules, shotgun DJ’s.”

“Since when?” Tim asked.

“Since now.” Jason said, plugging his phone in.

“Uh, I don’t think so.” Dick took the cord from him “According to ‘Supernatural’ rules, ‘Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole’. So that’s mine.”

“No one else watches this show Dickhead!” Jason pulled the cord back.

“Doesn’t matter, because I’m older!” Dick pulled it back again.

“Age is just a number!” Tim pushed himself to the front seat and took the cord back.

“Great point Drake!” Damian pulled him back by his waist, stealing the cord from him too.

“Hey, stop with the fuss, I’m gonna crash the car!” Dick said.

“Maybe we should just play Beyoncé...” Duke suggested. The car went silent for a while.

“Okay.” Dick said “Put on ‘Single Ladies’.”

“No. ‘Halo’ is her best.” Damian complained.

“Uhm, no way? I’m playing ‘Drunk in Love’, and that’s it.” Tim shot back.

“Are you crazy? Play ‘Formation’.” Duke interfered.

“I like ‘Run the World’...” Cass said quietly from the trunk.

“Yeah, okay,” Tim murmured “We’ll play that.”

The girl smiled as the first notes from the song filled the car.

There weren’t many cars in the parking lot, which was expected. They picked up two carts, and Dick hopped inside the one Jason was pushing.

“Dude!” Duke started “You’re in your mid-twenties!”

“Leave me alone, I nearly sprained my ankle today.” Dick stuck his tongue out. No one else questioned anything beyond that. The employees simply sighed, used to the two older brothers and their antics.

“Hey Parker.” Jason greeted the nighttime security guard.

“Hey. I see you two brought the whole gang tonight.” He answered.

“Yup.” Dick smiled.

“So this is a regular thing for the two of you?” Duke asked.

“Are you really surprised, Duke?” Tim shot back.

“No. Not really.”

“Okay. First stop, Bruce said we need to get Tim’s coffee.” Dick exclaimed, looking at the list.

Jason led the way, Dick grinning like a child on the cart, Cass quietly following as she pushed their second cart, Duke making friendly conversation with her while Tim and Damian kept bickering right behind them.

“Oh, wait!” Dick held on to the metal bars “We’re right next to the cookies and Bruce said we’re out of your favorites, Jay.” He looked up.

“Alright, a little detour then.” Jason turned them around, quickly grabbing his treats “Anyone wants anything else from this aisle?”

“But... We don’t need anything else from the aisle.” Duke pointed out.

“Um, we have a billionaire’s credit card?” Tim said “Bruce won’t freak out if we buy a few extra things.”

“Uuuh, they have those koala shaped cookies!” Dick hopped out of the cart “How many do I get?”

“I want one.” Cass said.

“Chocolate or strawberries?”

“Uh… I want both.” She answered.

“Okay, one each for the lady, two strawberries for me...”

“I want a chocolate one.” Tim said.

“Me too.” Damian asked.

“Oh, just take twenty boxes, ten of each flavor.” Jason interfered, dumping them on Cass’ cart “We’ll share later.”

“Oh my God, those are expensive!” Duke said, exasperated.

“Yeah. So?” Jason shot back.

“Bruce is a billionaire, bro. He won’t mind.” Dick said, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, well, it’s easy for you guys to say it. You grew up like that. It’s kinda hard to accept this when you aren’t used to having so much.” Duke answered, scratching his neck.

“Hey, I get that feeling lil’ bro.” Jason tapped his back “I spent my childhood in Gotham’s streets.”

“Yeah. I mean, I grew up in the circus. I wasn’t used to the idea of getting brand new stuff instead of asking for hand-me-downs from our friends whenever I grew out of my clothes.” Dick interfered.

“But... Just think about it like this.” Jason got closer to him “We now can get everything we couldn’t in the past.”

Duke frowned. Jason nodded encouragingly.

“That... Doesn’t help.”

“I tried.” Jason shrugged. Dick hopped back in the cart “To the coffee aisle!” He exclaimed, pushing his brother around.

“Hang on.” Tim said “This is where they leave the energy drinks. Let me take some.”

“Why do you insist on drinking this crap, Drake?” Damian scowled, reading the label in one of the cans “If you have such a death wish, jumping in front of a train is a much cheaper, quicker alternative.”

“Shut up, little devil.” Tim picked up cans from his favorite brand.

“Jason, push me a little farther down the aisle, please.” Dick asked “They keep their iced teas over there.”

“Ugh, Grayson, you disgust me.” Damian rolled his eyes.

“Don’t be so judgemental Lil’ D.” He smiled, being pushed away by Jason.

As they examined the cans, Dick noticed he had attracted the looks of a middle aged man, a couple of steps from them. He was staring at his hoodie, that contained the frase ‘I love dick’ printed on it.

“Oh,” He exclaimed, smiling at the guy “My name is Richard. That’s why it’s funny.” The man nodded “I’m also queer as fuck, so that makes it better.” He added nonchalantly, and the man’s eyes widened “Okay Jay, I picked up all I wanted, let’s go back.”

“Alright you little shits, back to the coffee quest.” Jason said, leading the way once again. This time, they finally made it to the coffee aisle. Tim crouched down, looking for his favorite blend.

Cass got a little curious once she laid eyes on a colorful package on the top shelf. She picked it up and handed it to Dick.

“Read. Please.”

“This is an espresso roast. Here it says that it has notes of strawberry? Vanilla and... Sugar cane. Colombian coffee. Seems nice. Wanna take it?”

“Yes.” She nodded. Dick dropped it on his cart.

Cass wandered away, still looking at all of the coffee blends.

“Hey girlie,” A guy whistled at her, next to his group of friends “Nice ass.”

She squinted at them.

“Yo, asshole!” Tim screamed, getting their attention “That’s our sister!” He threw a bag of coffee beans at the guy’s face, causing his nose to bleed.

“Hey, who do you think you are?” One of them started to walk up to her brothers. Cass could tell that he wanted trouble, so she grabbed his arm and slammed his face against the shelf, so quickly and brutally that it barely budged, leaving the products unbothered, but the guy fell to the floor, disoriented. She stared at him.

“We are Waynes.” Damian answered, pacing towards them quietly, hands on his pockets “I suggest you apologize immediately for the troubles, if you wouldn’t want to get a hefty lawsuit for your harrasment.”

“Uh, sorry bro.” One of them started, a little scared “We didn’t-”

“Not to me.” He interrupted “To her.”

“We’re sorry, miss Wayne.” All of them mumbled.

“Now promise you won’t do it again.” Damian added.

“We won’t do it again.” They started at the floor, next to where their fallen friend laid down.

“Good.” He squinted “Help your friend up, and get out of my sight.”

They did as they were told, helping his friend walk straight again. As Cass headed back, Dick gently touched her arm, looking up at her.

“Hey, are you alright?” She smiled and gave him a thumbs up. He smiled back.

“Does this happen often?” Jason asked.

“Sometimes.” She shrugged “But they always say sorry after I break their nose.”

“Ayy, that’s our girl.” Jason praised “Alright, we got the coffee. Where to next?”

“Let’s see... Next item is Alfred the cat’s treats.” Dick said.

“Ha!” Damian laughed loudly “As if Alfred would eat the... peasant treats that this store offers. No. I’ve already bought the adequate brand from an online shop.”

“Okay...” Dick raised an eyebrow “Then... Cass’ ice cream is next, but I think we should leave that as the last item, so it won’t melt, which leads us to Duke’s soda because Bruce had the last can.”

“Let’s go then. I think that the cereal aisle is on the way, so we’ll get that first.” Jason said, pushing the cart around again.

“Which ones do we get?” Tim asked, looking through the shelf.

“Everything that has sugar.” Dick answered. His brother began handing him boxes, when they heard a small whisper.

“Oh my God, are those...?” A girl said to her friend, attracting the eyes of the siblings. The duo averted their gaze quickly. Cass frowned at them.

“Relax.” Jason smiled, placing an arm on her back “They’re probably just... Fans.”

“Fans?” She asked, still staring suspiciously at them.

“Yeah.” Dick shrugged “I mean, we’re not super stars, but we do hit the papers pretty often. A bunch of people know us here in Gotham.” The girls were looking again, and Dick gave them a small wave, making them giggle “See? Nothing to worry about.”

“Hum.”

“Hey there, ladies.” Jason greeted, a cheeky smile on his face “What brings you to this fine establishment tonight?”

“We ran out of energy drinks.” One of them answered “What about you?”

“Cereal.” Dick answered, lifting two boxes. They giggled again.

“Hey, um... can we maybe get a picture?” The girl asked “It’s just that... no one will believe us when we tell them about this.”

“Absolutely not!” Damian answered.

“Nah, don’t listen to the little brat.” Jason said “Go ahead.”

Dick held up the boxes again, smiling as Jason made a ‘crazy’ motion with his hands. Tim turned around as the photo was being taken, turning him into a blurr with tired eyes.

“Can we get some selfies too?” The other one asked, grinning.

“No!” Damian protested again.

“Of course you can!” Dick said “Duke, Cass, come here.” He called.

All of them gathered around the cart Dick was staying at, even Damian. He didn’t look so pleased as the photo was taken, but neither did Cass.

“Thanks. You guys really are nice.” The first girl said.

“Oh, you have no clue on how nice I can be.” Jason winked, making her blush “Tell you what, why don’t I give you my phone number and you can text me those pictures later, hm?”

“Sure.” The girl bit her lips as Jason scribbled his number on her wrist.

“You are such a flirt.” Dick rolled his eyes as the girls walked away.

“What, like you aren’t?” Jason snorted, pushing him away, looking for where they kept the soda.

“I think Cass didn’t like that interaction very much.” Tim whispered to his older brothers, who turned around to find a frowning baby bat. Jason chuckled.

“What’s wrong, sis?” She scowled at him “Oh, c’mon, don’t get jealous.” He threw an arm around her shoulder “You know you’ll always be our number one girl, but a guy has his needs. And sometimes, a guy needs a date.”

Cass pushed him away, rolling her eyes as Duke placed five soda cans on her cart.

“Why would you even drink this sugar filled monstrosity, Thomas?” Damian asked, reading the labels “Grandfather wouldn’t even feed his prisoners something as revolting as this.”

“Because, Bat-brat,” He said “We’re all entitled to enjoy at least one or two things that may ultimately be responsible for our deaths.”

“I suppose.” He murmured, lifting an eyebrow “You make much finer points than the rest of them. Father has been looking for heirs in the least suitable places, I assume.” He clicked his tongue “It’s a good thing I’m here to help.”

“Okay...” Duke answered, raising his eyebrows and averting his gaze. There was only so much strangeness that he could handle.

“Great, now we need to get my chips and spinach.” Dick stated.

“Spinach?” Tim asked “Why spinach?”

“B thinks Damian may have been needing more iron in his diet.” Dick shrugged.

“Aaw.” Tim said “That’s actually kinda cute. Do you think he ever worries about our diets?”

“Don’t be stupid Tim, of course he doesn’t.” Jason answered.

“He does.” Dick shot back “He worries about us, he just... Really, really, really, reaaaally sucks at showing it sometimes.”

“Potatoe, potatoe.” Jason murmured.

“Yeah, whatever. Keep me moving Little Wing, we have stuff to pick up and my tiredness is catching up to me.” Dick pointed forward.

“Sure. But the chips are in the opposite direction.”

“Well turn me around then, do you want me to look like an idiot?” Dick said, a little exasperated.

“I wish you had an off button sometimes.” Jason sighed as he made his way to the chips section.

An employee, mopping the floor with a bored expression, looked up from what he was doing when he saw the Wayne gang talking loudly. Dick tried to control his brothers from inside the cart, and had just told Jason to separate a fight between Tim and Damian. Duke and Cass snicker as they saw a bored, six feet tall Jason pushing his much smaller brothers apart.

“Yep.” The employee murmured to himself “Billionaires shopping at Walmart at four in the morning. Just a normal night.”

Hey! If you made it this far, please consider reblogging this? It helps with spreading my fics and it makes me very happy, hahahaha!

Regardless, thanks for reading <3

#batfamily #BatFam #Batbrothers #batsiblings #fanfiction

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jjuzoir · 5 years ago

Note

your muku headcanons are just???💗💝💗💖❣️omg ily so much can i request yuki relationship hcs also happy valentines day💌

Request:

A/N: so many days late but here it is! yuki relationship hc!!!

————🌷————

To Date Yuki Rurikawa:

- Just like any HC about any of the minors I’m praying you’re also a minor!

- So you two met at school! You had enrolled a bit later than the rest of the students due to having lived abroad for a few years.

- If he was being honest, he wasn’t exactly excited about a new student especially today considering he had just gotten into a fight about a budget with Sakyo.

- He was chosen by his teacher to show you around the school and help you get familiar with your schedule.

- You didn’t really pay him much mind, he looked kind of annoyed and slightly on edge as he showed you around the empty classrooms.

- And to be honest you felt kind of guilty, he clearly didn’t look like he wanted to be here so you decide to cut the meeting short.

- “I-I think I can handle myself from here, Rurikawa, thanks for the help.”

- You stiffly bow and try and hurry your ass out of the room but he stops you before you can leave.

- “Hey!”

- He looks at you fucking confused and you look back reprocating the confusion??

- “Look, Rurikawa, I don’t wanna bother you anymore- I can handle myself just fine.”

- “Bother me?”

- Uhh?? Did he have no fucking idea how scary he looked? Sure he was quite pretty but the stone cold look he wore and how cautious he was around you all day gave you the impression of being a bother.

- So you explained it as it was and he rolled his eyes at you before commenting that he wasn’t annoyed, it turns out he had just gotten into a fight and he didn’t have anything against you.

- But still, you felt bad and decided to cut the outing off soon after.

- And boy did he kind of feel bad, he knew you were new and that it’d be hard for you to get used to the school and he felt like if you got lost or something it’d be his responsibility.

- And not liking the thought of you being lost due to his inability of hiding his frustration he decides to take matters into his own hands; he would give you that fucking tour you like it or not.

- So that evening he made you a small gift and decided he’d give it to you tomorrow morning and show you around school the first free period you two had.

- And so he did, he dragged you out of you seat and gave you the damned tour, by the end of it you two had accidentally skipped the first 2 periods after break, leaving lunch and another period so you two decided to hide it out in the janitor’s closet.

- Believe it or not, I think Yuki has 100% skipped class due to being tired or bored but I think this would be his first time hiding in a room like this (normally he’d skip by sleeping in the nurse’s office (esp since he used to get teased for dressing like ”a girl” as if clothes had gender lmao)).

- Anyway, you two leave for lunch and as his sorry gift for making you feel uncomfortable before he gives you a small scarf he had learned to make with Omi.

- And that, ladies and gentlemen and non-binary folks, that you became school-friends with Yuki.

- You two didn’t hang out outside of school much, if ever, but you two did enjoy hanging out at school.

- But you wanted to know Yuki beyond him sitting beside you in english as he tried to understand why wound isn’t pronounced wow-und while you lost your fucking shit, you wanted to know Yuki Rurkiawa the cool-green haired guy.

- So you invited him out for a movie :/

- He’s a bit hesitant, you didn’t really know he likes dressing in feminine clothes and he didn’t know if you’d dislike him or make fun of him but after Muku gave a very public speech at the dorm that everyone and the manager heard he was pressured by the guys to go.

- He wears a really pretty skirt and blouse and he looks so pretty and cute you end up staring at him in shock.

- Like, you knew he was very fucking cute and you did have a crush on his rude-ass but omg he was making you blush a lot.

- He catches you staring and feels uncomfortable and he asks you why you’re staring, duh.

- “O-oh? Ah, nothing- I just, I found you really cute-! I mean the outfit, yeah the outfit, not you. Wait- no! I mean you’re cute but-!”

- Oh fuck you now he’s blushing too >:(

- You two laugh a bit before you go out and watch the damned movie,,,

- Not counting the awkward beginning, overall the date was pretty damn smooth.

- Turns out Yuki enjoyed it so much he asked you out on another date the following weekend.

- And it went just as good so you invited him for another one,

- And he invited you again and you did so too and boom!

- Three months in and y’all are basically dating!

- It was so fucking smooth bro, neither of you realized until Azuma pointed it out;

- “How long have you two been dating?”

- “Three month this is our….”

- Wait a damn minute? You two are dating?

- Everyone in the dorm just assumed you were and your friends too, but Yuki never talked it out with you...

- Great no he’s freaking out over you guys’ label.

- Enter angry Yuki calling you after practice.

- “Are we dating?”

- He was so direct about it- it took you a fat second to realize what he had asked you.

- Now you’re all blushy and shit, thank god it’s a phone call…

- “Do you want us to date?”

- “I-I think so… yeah, if you want to?”

- “Yeah, I think I do too,” you whisper and he nods until he realizes you couldn’t see him.

- “Alright, see you on monday?”

- “See you monday, Rurikawa.”

- “OH MY GOD YUKI HAS A S/O!”

- Tenma hears Kazunari’s scream and bolts out of the practice room screaming about how he’s too young and shit.

- “Shut up Hack, it’s not my fault you’re gonna die alone.”

- Dating Yuki is kinda very cute.

- Dates consist of you two going out shopping and making outfits for the other.

- But if you can’t dress well he’s more than happy to help you~

- He’s kind of sweet in a very weird way, he’s the type to not really tell you he loves you but show it.

- If he sees you want something he’s more likely to buy it in secret and gift it than stop you and buy it for you then and there.

- Compliments are rare and can sound backhanded but they’re genuine.

- Is one of the boys who doesn’t like having you around for practice!

- If you are gonna hang around though he’d rather you wait in the communal area or his room with Tenma, mostly because he’d hate having you watch him bluff or fuck up.

- Loves having you help him with costumes though, so prepare to pull all-nighters with him to finish the costumes on time.

- Tenma actually enjoys having you around, you’re a bit kinder in words than Yuki and the green-haired boy doesn’t insult him as much with you around.

- He does eventually tear a few walls down and is more honest with you about his fear of being judged and his previous bullying experiences.

- After a while, he starts becoming more soft with a less sarcastic aura around you but don’t expect his remarks and nicknames to leave.

- Overall? Best boy.

- Take care of him, okay?

#—🎀 a3!#a3 #a3!#act addict actors #a3 yuki #yuki rurikawa #yuki rurikawa x reader #yuki x reader #( hehehe; my 3rd fave )#—✒️ sora’s scripts #—📨 request #—💌 mysterious messenger!

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softboywriting · 6 years ago

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Holding Fire | Shawn Mendes | Firefighter AU

Summary: Shawn is the newest member of Fire Station 15′s crew and he’s a hot one. It’s not long before you and Shawn hit it off and start an amazing new relationship. Will it last or go up in flames? [firefighter au] [slight angst] [fluff]

Word Count: 18k

|Masterlist In Bio|

When you were ten years old you watched your father’s bakery burn to the ground. When you were sixteen years old you watched your house burn to the ground. Now at twenty two you work at the deli across the street from the fire station that responded to both of those fires and saved you and your families lives. Two of the older firefighters and your father's ex coworkers, Mike and Jack, both stayed in contact with you and became like family to you and your sister after your father died when you were nineteen.

The owner of the deli is Mike, now an ex firefighter, and he hired you just after your dad passed away. The deli is nice and small, you have a few tables for eat in guests and you serve sandwiches and breakfast made to order on Saturday and Sunday mornings. It’s a local hang out for a lot of the town’s police officers and firefighters and it really feels like home. You have gotten to know everybody by name, you’ve memorized their orders and you even keep up with their personal lives as they come in and talk about their day while you make their lunches. Nothing ever changed much in your little town, not until you watched Shawn walk through the doors of the deli one day, Fire and Safety Station 15 shirt tight across his chest. That day...well...it was something.

______________

“Has lover boy stopped in yet today?” Mariel, your best friend and colleague asks from where she is wiping down the cutting boards after slicing up some lettuce for the upcoming lunch rush. “I heard he couldn’t stop staring at you the other day.”

“Mariel! That is not true! Who told you that?” you laugh and she just zips her lips. “Oh you’re the worst. But no, he hasn’t come in today. It’s not even lunchtime yet, he’s probably out working.”

“Oh yes, out saving kittens from trees and kissing babies!” Mariel cackles as she heads to the back room to grab some bread to put in the oven. “Oh Shawn, please, come rescue me!”

You turn scarlet and throw a towel at her. “Stop it! You’re so mean!”

“You’re so single. Get his number, or I will.”

“Mariel you wouldn’t.” She raises her eyebrows as if to challenge your statement. “Mare, you better not. You know I like him and that would be-”

Someone clears their throat at the order counter behind you and you turn around to see Shawn standing there with a flushed face and mess of wet curls on his head. “Could I order?” he smiles, biting his lip.

“H-how long have you been standing there?” you splutter, grabbing your order pad and a pen out of your pocket.

“Long enough to know you were arguing about a guy?” Shawn laughs and you let out a sigh. He hadn’t heard his name. Thank god.

You put your pen and pad on the counter and start scribbling down the orders Shawn gives you for the guys at the station. “And what would you like?” you ask, looking up to see he is smiling at you.

“Actually, I’d like you to make me something today. Your favorite?”

“Yeah?” you giggle and he crosses his arms, making that oh so fitted tee pull across his chest. “You think you can handle my favorite?”

Shawn bites his lip and chuckles. “I think I can handle it, just no tuna please. I’m not wild on tuna salad sandwiches.”

“Damn, my favorite is the tuna.”

“Really?”

You laugh and shake your head. “No! No really. Tuna is gross. Alright, one special of the day.” You scribble it down on your order pad and clip it up on the sandwich station. Mariel comes over and helps you to prepare meats on the slicer for the sandwiches while Shawn leans with his arms folded against the high counter where the toppings are all displayed for easy choosing.

“He’s staring at you,” Mariel whispers and you clench your jaw. “I think he is looking at your ass.”

“Mariel, I’m going to slice my hand if you don’t stop distracting me.”

“I’m just saying, he’s staring right over the counter like a love sick puppy dog.”

You turn around to grab a new ham from the cold case under the topping station and you’re met with Shawn staring, just like Mariel said. “Was there something else you needed?” you ask and Shawn shakes his head. “Just curious?”

“Very curious.”

Mariel turns around and grins. “Curious enough to ask for her number?”

Shawn turns bright red and looks between the two of you. “Well I-I really meant I was curious about what kind of sandwich she's making me.”

“It's a special. Don't worry about it,” you smile teasingly and Shawn drops his head against the top of the case. “I know what you like.”

“Damn girl,” Mariel clucks, elbowing your side. “He's gonna turn into a tomato if you keep up that flirting.”

From the counter behind you, you hear a mumbled “too late” and you know it's Shawn still hiding his face in his arms. He was so cute, a grown man but still somehow boyishly cute. Ugh. Perfect.

You prepare Shawn's sandwich the way you like yours on your lunch break. A classic Italian with extra pepperoni, olive moufletta and spicy brown mustard, toasted. You're sure he will love it. He always got the Italian cold or the French dipped roast beef with extra onion and pepper relish. You had to admit, the guy had good taste in sandwiches. Unlike some guys who came in and they looked cute but their plain turkey with American cheese and mayo turned you way off. Bland eats what bland is.

Mariel helps you sack up the sandwiches and label them according to the list Shawn gave you. She spares you any further embarrassment or attempts at flirting and rings him up while you clean up the slicer and building station. That doesn't stop Shawn from saying goodbye, smiling and tucking a ten dollar bill into the tip jar on his way out.

“You gotta get that man tied down,” Mariel says as she watches him jog across the street. “He's too fine to be the one that got away.”

You wipe your hands on your apron and shrug. “Well...I dunno. I'm just a little wary about him. Like where did he come from? We know everyone in town and this mysterious stranger just appears and has an interest in me? I dunno.”

Mariel rolls her eyes. “You're such a weirdo. If you need to know his whole life story why don't you ask him out?”

“I can't! I mean look at him!”

“Look at you! Damn he thinks you're the best thing since sliced bread! Come on girl read the signals, they're saying, date me date me in big flashing red letters!” Mariel flashes her hands out in front of you for emphasis. “Don't. Let. Him. Slip. Away.”

“Okay! Fine. This weekend is the annual firehouse block party. I'll try to talk to him then.”

“You better or else I'm going to find some way to trap you in a room with him so you have no choice.”

“I will. I promise.”

__________________

Station 15’s annual block party was the event of the summer. It was held at the end of August every year rain or shine and always included live music, barbecue, dancing, games, you name it. Ever since you were little you could remember going to it. The real fun started after the kids went home and it was just the adults in the firehouse drinking and shooting the shit with each other. You remember how your dad would always talk for hours with Mike and Jack, sending you and your sister home with the babysitter for the night. It wasn't until you were eighteen that you were allowed to stay, and even then it was mostly older towns people who stuck around.

These days there was a lot more of a younger crowd, people in their twenties like you are. All your friends having come back from college or having already graduated. The party is bigger now, with families growing every year it seemed. You love it, seeing everyone so happy and together. Usually you'd end up playing games with the young kids because they always looped you into their shenanigans, but this year you had a different agenda. One with Shawn written all over it.

“Can I get a whiskey ginger?” You call out to the guy with his back to you at the bar that is set up inside the firehouse garage. He turns and you find it's none other than Shawn.

“Hey,” he beams, smile going ear to ear. “I didn't know if I'd see you tonight.”

“Ah yeah, I come every year. What about you? Why are you bartending?”

Shawn grabs a bottle of whiskey and starts preparing your drink. “Well I volunteered while the actual bartender stepped out to get some more ice. He should be back soon.”

“Do you know what you're doing?” You chuckle as he accidentally pours the soda all over the little wooden countertop.

“Shit,” he mumbles, wiping it up quick. “I do know what I'm doing surprisingly. Bar tending put me through college,” he chuckles, passing you your drink in it's red solo cup.

You raise your eyebrows. A firefighter who was a bartender who possibly has a degree. What kind of dream boat were you dealing with. “That's interesting, what'd you go to college for?”

“Nothing really, I ended up just going to a community college in Ashland for two years before I decided I hated it. A friend of mine got me into the fire academy and here I am.”

“Wow, you like it though? Firefighting?”

Shawn makes himself a whiskey ginger as well and places it next to yours on the counter top. “It has its days but it's generally very rewarding.”

The bartender returns with a bag of ice that he pours into a cooler. You recognize him to be a guy you went to high school with that you're pretty sure your sister dated. You don't want to hash that past out so you grab your drink and lead Shawn over to a couple of lawn chairs set up for the fireworks show.

“How bout you? College?” Shawn asks as he sinks into the chair beside you. He takes a sip and smiles expectantly.

You shake your head. “College wasn't really on the table for me when I graduated. My sister and I had a hard time after our house burnt down when I was in high school. Then not too long after I graduated my dad died so, it just...it was hell for a few years there.”

“Oh, wow. I didn't realize that I had brought up such a sore subject I'm so sorry.”

You take a sip and lean back in your chair. Your dad's passing still hurt, even three years later and it still felt like just a few months ago. You missed him, especially during things like this, things he helped set up in the community. “No, it's fine. It's been three years now. Cait and I are surviving, I've got the deli and my side business. She got married last year and has a kid on the way.”

“Side business?”

“Yeah, I bake. My dad was a great baker, he started late in life after an accident as a firefighter messed up his leg, had his own place and everything. It burned down, but he reopened a year later. When he passed I couldn't run it alone and Cait had already moved out of town and was starting her own life. We closed up and I started work at the deli while baking on the side, mostly catering small events.”

Shawn crosses his arms and just looks at you. In awe of you it would seem. “You've survived two fires? Damn. My story isn't half as interesting.”

“Oh yeah? Spill your guts.”

“Well, I graduated and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. So I took a few classes at the community college just to get some credits out of the way y’know. I picked up bartending with a friend at a bar in downtown Ashland for some extra cash. I did that for about two years before realizing I hated everything about college and the stress caused me ulcers. Another friend of mine had just joined the fire academy and I figured why not? Turned out I was pretty good at saving people.”

“So you never dreamed of being a firefighter? Like as a kid?”

“Nah, never. I wanted to be a doctor but I couldn't commit. Too much responsibility and too many years of school. I guess I just wanted to help people, and this job is just as rewarding and important as being a doctor.”

You glance over and he has his head back, watching the stars appear in the darkening sky overhead. His profile is amazing, strong jaw, perfectly shaped nose and soft lips. He was living art and you're not drunk enough to be admiring him this way. “That's pretty deep,” you say over a sip of your drink. “Do you always pour your heart out to women you like?”

Shawn chuckles as his smile grows wide, a flush on his cheeks. “I don't but I guess you're easy to talk to.”

“Yeah? You're easy to talk to too.”

A loud noise from your left makes you jump and you see a big glowing ball shoot into the air. It's the first firework and it pops, showering the sky with purple and blue light. Shawn downs the rest of his drink and stands, moving his chair right beside you instead of a foot or two away. You don't say anything about the boldness but you like it. He was definitely one worth pursuing.

______________

Sunday. You're still feeling the effects of the block party as you walk to work. You rarely drank enough to get drunk but when you did, whew, you sure did. You and Shawn had ended up meeting up with a couple of the other firefighters and staying up until well after midnight drinking and chatting. It was the most fun you've had in ages and the residual gross body and headache was well worth it.

“So you and hot stuff get together?” Mariel asks as you slip your apron over your head to start the day. “I saw you two in the firehouse drinking and giggling.”

“No,” you chuckle, grabbing some sausage from the fridge to get it started for breakfast. “Shawn walked me home and we parted ways at my doorstep. Like a gentleman.”

“Right but did he kiss you?”

“Mariel, come on! He didn't kiss me. He just said goodnight and went home.”

Mariel snorts. “Do you think he's...”

You sigh and send her a look that could cut glass. “No. I don't think he is gay. He was plenty interested in me and it is not like the time that I read everything completely wrong with William Hannover.” You flip your sausage patty angrily, hitting the flattop with a little more force than necessary with your spatula. Just the idea of going through the embarrassment like you did with William was enough to piss you off. “God, just because he didn't kiss me after one night doesn't mean he's gay. I'll have you know he was-”

Mariel eyes go wide and she mouths “Shawn” and points to the front counter. You turn slowly and Shawn is standing there. He looks like he's just gotten out of the shower, cheeks rosy and hair a little damp and wildly curly on top. His shirt is threatening to rip over his biceps as he puts his arms up on the counter. That must be some damn good cotton stretch fabric. He raises his eyebrows at you. God only knows how long he was standing there but clearly heard you going off.

“Good morning,” he says softly. “And for the record, I am not gay.”

“Oh my God.” You feel like you could just die. Just shrivel up and blow away like a tumbleweed. “I don't think- I mean Mariel just said that because you didn't kiss me...not that you needed to because...fuck.” You put your hand over your flushed face. What a complete ass you've made of yourself. “I've just had a misunderstanding in the past and it's really stupid and-”

“It's okay. I'm not offended or something. I just didn't kiss you because we were drunk, and I don't think anyone should do anything if they're not fully aware and consenting.” Shawn brings his hand up to prop up his chin as he stares at you, smiling around his words. “I actually came by to see if you'd like to go on a date.”

Mariel steps in and grabs the spatula from you. She pushes you toward Shawn with a “I'll worry about the food, go talk to him.”

You walk up to the counter and bite your lip. A date huh? Were you up for that? Maybe. “What kind of date?”

“Dinner? Walk on the beach? Matching tattoos?” He smirks at the last one and you narrow your eyes.

“Dinner is fine. Casual or fancy?”

“Is casual okay? Your choice of restaurant.”

You take a deep breath and smile. “Okay, casual it is. Meet me at The Crab Shack?”

“Tonight or this weekend?”

“This weekend is good. Saturday around six?”

“Perfect. Now, can I get some breakfast or...”

“Oh shit,” you feel around your apron for your order pad. “Yeah. Sorry.”

Shawn laughs. “Take your time, it's a big order. All the guys want something.”

_____________________

Wednesday. You wake up and you just know it's going to be a shitty day. When you look at the calendar and see the date, you know exactly why. It's been a year since you broke up with your ex, Brodie Douglas. Six months you dated him and it seemed serious, you were sure he was gonna be the one you settled down with. Until you caught him in your bed with another girl. It was disgusting. You actually took your mattress to the dump after that and used your savings to buy a new one.

You hadn't seen Brodie since then. The day he left your house he was gone for good. He didn't live in town, he lived closer to Ashland about an hour away. It hurt, still sort of hurt to be honest and every guy since him had been a real flop too. Until Shawn. He actually seemed to have some respect for women and other human beings in general.

You push your thoughts aside, putting the past in the past where it belongs. You had work to do, people to see, a life to live. A life without any assholes in it.

You get in the shower, hot steam filling the bathroom. Your favorite body wash is almost out and you sigh, filling it halfway with hot water and shaking up the remains. That sucked. You definitely didn't want to make a trip into Ashland just to go to the bath and body works. The cab fare alone would dig into your savings. Regular drugstore body wash it would be then.

Midway through soaping up your hair you hear a knock on your front door. You figure if you ignore them they'll probably go away. Besides if it was someone you know then they could text or call you before coming over. You continue washing and the knocking returns.

“Okay fucking really,” you mutter, snatching your towel off the rack and going to the front door. Your hair is dripping wet and there is soap in your left eye. This person better really need something. “Hello?” You ask sharply as you pull open your front door to the cold morning air.

The person on your porch turns and your stomach drops. It's Brodie. His hair has grown out, he looks like he's gained a few pounds and by Gods he's so ugly. Why the fuck were you ever with him? Did he always look like this? Fucking hell.

“Hey, long time no see,” he smiles weakly.

“Goodbye.” You slam the door in his face and flip the lock. This was a joke right? He was going to show up a year later on the day you kicked him out? This had to be some sick joke. What kind of psychopath was he?

“Wait! I need to talk to you!” Brodie yells through the door and you turn to go back to your shower. If he thought you wanted to hear a single word out of his mouth then he was gravely mistaken. “God you're such a bitch!”

You take your time getting ready for work, blow drying your hair and putting on your lotion far slower than you ever would regularly. You want to make sure he is gone before you leave the house. At a quarter till 7 you peek out your front curtains. His car is still parked across the street. The same piece of shit Honda he had before. Great.

You leave the house out the back and jump your neighbors fence to cut across the yards to the intersecting street that lead to the deli. You're sure Brodie is going to notice you haven't left the house and he'll come searching for you eventually, figuring out you snuck out the back. You'd deal with that when you came to it.

Surprisingly work goes smoothly for the most of the morning. You don't mention Brodie to Mariel because you know she will hunt him down and probably knife him. She was there for you after the break up and dealt with the fallout with you. She hated Brodie about as much as you did. It's not until lunch that shit hits the fan.

You're in the middle of making an order for the station that Jeremy called in a little after noon when Brodie appears. You've just finished an italian sub and you look up the see Brodie standing there at the counter.

“Hey, come on, hand me the...” Mariel trails off as she turns to see what was taking you so long. “What the fuck do you want?” She sneers, eyes boring a hole through Brodie and into the back wall.

“I need to talk to you,” Brodie says completely disregarding Mariel's existence. “I wanted to talk about-”

“Yeah I really wanna talk to you after you called me a bitch this morning.”

Mariel steps around in front of you and grabs the lettuce knife out of it's holder on the counter. She rests her arm casually up on the top of the countertop window, knife dangling oh so threateningly. “Listen buddy. If she wanted to talk to you, she'd give you a call. You fucked up, you don't get a second chance.”

“Please I just want to apologise. It wasn't me, I wasn't myself back then or at the house today,” he says, leaning to look past Mariel to where you've turned your back to him.

“Fuck off,” Mariel growls. “Or you're going to be the special of the day.”

“I'm not talking to you bitch,” Brodie sneers at her and pushes off the counter, knocking the tip jar to the ground where it shatters. “I'll see you later then,” he says and he slams the door behind him, the bell chiming harshly throughout the deli.

Marel drops the knife in it's holder and puts her arm around you. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah,” you whisper, tears in your eyes. “Thanks. He showed up at the house this morning but I shut the door on him. I knew he'd be back but I just...I just wasn't ready.”

“No no, it's okay. I got your back.”

“Thanks Mare. I hope he gets the hint y'know?”

“Yeah or else.”

_____________

Brodie doesn't get the hint because he's about as thick as an oak door when it comes to reading situations. It's 3pm and you're heading home, watching for Brodie's car as you exit the deli, hand on the pepper spray in your pocket. Not that you think Brodie would try anything but you never know. You're crossing the street toward the fire station when you see him. He's heading toward you on foot as if he had been waiting at the park catty corner to the deli.

You know exactly where to go. The firehouse. All the guys knew you, it would be safer than walking alone with Brodie following you. You keep your eyes locked on the side door to the garage where the trucks are kept. It was always unlocked while the guys were in house. You had delivered sandwiches a few times. You can hear Brodie getting closer, his boots scraping on the pavement behind you.

The door opens just as you get to it and you push past Jeremy, the current station manager. Jeremy mumbles a quiet “What the hell?” But you don't waste time explaining.

Shawn is sitting on one of the old sofas in the living area that is open to the garage and he looks up as you make a bee line for him. He was safe. He would keep Brodie out. You know it. “Hey, what's going on,” he asks and stands up, circling the sofa to meet you.

“I...can you take me home?”

“Yeah, you okay?” Shawn lays his hand on your arm and rubs up to your shoulder. “You look pretty shaken.”

“Was that guy bothering you?” Jeremy asks as he walks into the living area. “I saw him following you and then turn away when you came in.”

You glance over at Jeremy and shake your head. “Yeah, he's nobody. It's fine. I just need a ride.”

“No, was he bothering you?” Shawn asks, stepping past you and heading to the door. “I can go talk to him. No, y'know what, I'm gonna.”

“Shawn don't.” You follow after him but his stride is longer and he is already opening the door. It's half closed by the time you get to it and when you go out you can see Shawn walking across the driveway towards Brodie who's heading back to the park. “Shawn! Stop!”

You jog over just as Shawn reaches Brodie. “Hey, you,” Shawn barks and Brodie turns around.

You grab Shawn's arm and pull him but it's no use. He's far bigger than you in every way. There is no way you can hold him back, he's over six feet of basically pure muscle. His arm flexes under your grip and you can't help but squeeze tighter. “Shawn, please.”

“The fuck do you want dude?” Brodie asks, eyes going to you and then to your hands around Shawn's arm, and finally to Shawn's face.

“You better leave her alone, and stop following girls home.”

Brodie scoffs. “I wasn't following her home. I just need to discuss some private business with her.”

“Yeah, that seems like it would have been a very one sided conversation if she came to the firehouse to get away from you.”

“Who the fuck are you anyway? Her fuckin body guard?”

“Brodie, just go away. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to hear anything you have to say. We're done, it's over. It's been a year, move on dude. I have.” You step back so you're more behind Shawn. For some reason you're very uncomfortable with Brodie. Something about him wasn't right.

Brodie clicks his tongue and lets out a dark chuckle. “Oh I see what this is. He's your boyfriend right? Got yourself a firefighter in case your house burns down again?”

That hurt. Like a punch to the gut. You don't have time to snap back at him because Shawn's arm is pulling away from yours and colliding with his face. The sound is sickening and you're sure Brodie's nose is broken. He drops like a sack of potatoes, crumpling to his knees on the pavement holding his face.

“Let's go,” Shawn says, shaking his hand out and putting his arm around you to walk you away. “I'll drive you home.”

“You hit him, Shawn, you just punched him!”

“Yeah because he was being an asshole. Don't act like you didn't think about doing it yourself.”

You try to look back, not out of concern, but out of curiosity. Shawn turns your head back forwards and keeps walking you toward his truck parked in the stations lot. “Is he going to be okay?”

Shawn shrugs. “Listen,” he stops with you by the passenger side of the truck. “If you wanna go back and see if he's okay, be my guest. Somehow I really don't think you're going to though. Now can you get in the truck so I can take you home?”

You look back and Brodie is still on the ground. Fuck no you weren't going to go over there. He was an asshole and frankly Shawn was right. You had thought about punching him in his stupid face since the day you found him cheating. Yeah your punch probably would not have done nearly as much damage and you'd be lying if you said it wasn't just as gratifying to have Shawn punch him for you. Maybe he'd get the hint now.

Shawn clicks to unlock his truck on his key fob and you open the door to climb up and in. It's really nice, clean inside like it was new and big. Fitting for a guys Shawn's size. Somehow you don't think it's an overcompensation thing. Shawn gets in and starts it up, pulling out of the lot and passing Brodie who is now up and heading toward the park again. You get just barely a glimpse but you could tell his face is a gruesome scene. Suits him. The ugly prick.

Shawn drops you off, walking you up to your door and making sure you get inside okay. You highly doubt that Brodie would come after you for any reason but honestly you couldn't be one hundred percent sure. He seemed to have snapped and lost his mind in the last year.

“You sure you're gonna be okay? I can stay a while just in case,” Shawn says leaning against the doorway. “I don't mind.”

“No, it's fine. I don't think he's going to bother me anymore. If he shows up I'll call the cops.”

“Yeah, good idea. But just in case I'll give you my number.”

You raise your eyebrows. He was slick. Just working that number exchange right in there like that. “Alright, okay,” you smile, shaking your head as you pull out your phone and he tells you his number. “I'll text you if I need you.”

“What's your number?” He asks, pulling his own phone out of his cargo pocket.

You shake your head. “I'll text you if I need you. Then you'll get my number.”

Shawn smiles, chuckling just a little. He thought he was slick, well, you were slicker. “Alright then. I see how it is. Well, have a good night. Be safe.”

“Yes sir,” you murmur with a little salute as you grab the door and close it with a goodnight. Letting him in was tempting but you think maybe you oughta have a first date before he gets to see the inside of your place. You'd learned your lesson about diving head first into relationships already.

___________________

Saturday. You're sitting on a bench outside the crab shack waiting for Shawn to show up. It's a calm night, breezy and a little chilly. Enough to warrant a light jacket. You mentally note to ask for a inside table and not one on the deck. The restaurant is fairly busy, Saturday night being a popular date and family night apparently. You're not too surprised though. You used to work weekends bussing tables here in high school for about a year before things went to shit with your house and your dad falling ill.

You sigh, looking up at the big decorative crab that held onto the sign over the front doors. As a kid you always begged your dad to lift you up to touch it. It wasn't until you were eight that you ever actually reached it. How satisfying that day was.

“Hey.”

You turn and look to see who's calling out and you see Shawn walking up in a pair of jeans and a nice sweater. “Oh, hey, you made it.”

“Of course I did. Whatcha looking at?” He asks, nodding toward the sign.

“Oh nothing. Just the crab. I used to beg my dad to lift me up to touch it.” You chuckle at how ridiculous that sounds now. “Come on, let's go inside.”

Shawn lets you lead the way along the sidewalk and up to the doors. As you approach the doors a pair of hands wrap around your waist and suddenly you're being lifted up. You let out a shriek and you hear Shawn laughing.

“Touch the crab!” He says, hardly audible through his laughter.

You reach out and touch the lowest dangling leg and he brings you down quickly. “You scared the shit out of me!”

“Oh you know you wanted to touch the crab.”

You smack his chest and he giggles, jumping back to avoid further assault. “Okay, okay I'll warn you next time.”

“Oh so you think there's gonna be a next time?”

“A guy can hope right?”

“Right,” you roll your eyes and walk into the restaurant, Shawn hot on your heels.

The two of you are seated right away in a booth that had a window out to the deck. You chat a little bit about how the firehouse is pretty slow and Shawn mostly naps all day or works out. The waiter comes and takes your orders. You get a burger with a side salad and Shawn gets the shrimp linguine. He makes fun of you for not getting seafood at the seafood restaurant but it's all in good fun. You both know the burgers are just as killer as the seafood and he really can't blame you.

“So, how'd you end up here?” You ask, sipping on your strawberry lemonade.

“The firehouse was looking to hire on a few guys and I was looking to get a job.”

“So you grew up in Ashland?”

Shawn shakes his head. “No, I grew up in Benton. I just went to the community college in Ashland.”

“Benton? The farm town?”

“Yeah, my parents are soybean farmers. I am a farm kid,” he chuckles, looking out the window. “What a shocker I know.”

“Not really. You definitely aren't like any of the guys from the city I've ever known. I guess you were probably raised better than a lot of them though.”

“I dunno. I mean my parents instilled a lot of values into me as a kid, but I got into my fair share of trouble and I had my less than graceful moments growing up.”

You shrug. “I think we all have had our moments in our youth, it's whether or not you learn from them and grow up that matters.”

“You're right, that's a good way of putting it. Damn did I learn some hard lessons though. What about you? Are you from here?”

“Yep. Born and raised here. My parents were both bakers, my mom passed away shortly after I was born so I never really knew her.”

“I'm so sorry.”

“No, no it's fine,” you pause, stirring your lemonade. “Cait, my sister, was like a mom to me growing up. Well, as motherly as she could be. She's only five years older.”

“You said your parents were bakers, that's what you like to do too right?”

“Yeah. I have all my dad's recipes and I'd love to have my own place one day but that's a far off dream. For now I just cater small events and I have a Facebook page.”

The food arrives and your conversation slows as you eat but quickly picks back up as you start discussing the food and trying each other's meals. Shawn tells you about the first time he came to the crab shack with the guys from the station. They ordered two crab boils and ate out on the deck on the long party tables. You'd done it once before for Mike’s birthday a few years back.

The night dwindles down and your pack up what's left of your burger and a few of Shawn's shrimps that he saved for you. He pays, refusing to show you the bill and saying don't worry about it even though you insisted on splitting the cost.

Shawn drives you home, walking you to your door like he had done each time he had taken you home before. This time though you don't go inside right away, you linger on the porch.

“Thanks for dinner.”

“You're welcome, I hope you had fun. I know I did.”

“It was great. And thanks again, y'know for the other day with Brodie.”

Shawn crosses his arms and chuckles, looking down as he kicks the toes of his boots against your doormat. “Of course. Anytime. I don't mind punching a douchebag.”

“Fuck, oh my god no!” You laugh, pushing his shoulder. “I meant thank you for being there for me in general. I don't want you punching people.”

“Right, right. But you kinda liked it, I know you did because you had a little triumphant smile on your face the whole way home afterwards.” He reaches out and pinches your cheek. “Just a cute little smirk right here.”

“Quit it!” You giggle, batting at his arm.

He flattens his hand and cups your jaw, instantly changing the whole mood from playful to intimate. His fingers brush against the nape of your neck, thumb smoothing over the little chicken pox scar on your cheek from when you were very little. “You look beautiful tonight,” he says quietly, stepping closer so there's but a few inches between you.

“You're not too bad yourself.”

“Can I kiss you goodnight?” Shawn asks, eyes heavy on your lips.

You give a little nod and he leans in. His lips are soft against yours and he caresses the back of your head. It's easily the tenderest kiss you've ever received and it leaves you a little speechless.

“Goodnight, I'll see you tomorrow.”

You nod numbly, the feeling of his lips lingering as he steps off the porch. He crosses the yard and gets into his truck. You're left there, nerves memorizing the feel of his hand in your hair, his palm on your cheek, his lips on your lips. You never want to snap out of it, you want to stay like this forever.

______________________

For the next few days Shawn stops in for meals for the firehouse. He always chats a bit, making you giggle and flush. Mariel loves to tease you endlessly when he leaves but you can't care because he makes you so happy. Shawn hasn't mentioned a second date yet and you don't want to bring it up in case he doesn't want to, though you're sure he does. You suspect he may be giving you space after the Brodie incident.

You have an event to cater on Thursday. A baby shower in town for your ex coworker Cara. She has asked for three dozen baby boot shaped cookies in blue icing and a small cake with blue iced middle an a white outside. A classic gender reveal cake. You start work on Tuesday so you can be ready to go on Wednesday evening. It's a fairly simple order.

Thursday after work you head to the party, driving Mariel's car to transport the baked goods safely. You arrive and the mother to be, Cara, is elated with the cookies and cake. She helps you set up the cake on a stand and get the cookies into a little box she had on hand to keep them a secret until the reveal.

You're on the deck outback talking to an old friend from high school when you hear a familiar voice. Shawn. You turn and look through a small crowd of people and see him, towering over everyone by the sliding glass doors. He is hugging Cara, and holds up a little bag with a bow on it. So he knows Cara, small world.

“Hey you,” Shawn grins, catching your eye and walking over after greeting Cara. “What're you doing here?”

“I could ask the same.”

“Cara is my cousin.”

“Ohh. I know her because she used to work at the deli. Wow such a small world.”

Shawn chuckles. “Very small. Can I get you a drink?”

“I'm good. Thanks though. How's work been? I know you said you had a call on Monday and that's why you didn't come in for lunch.”

“Yeah, it wasn't much. Just some punk kids setting fire in a trash can at the high school. Everything was fine.” Shawn follows you as you walk into the house because Cara is gathering everyone around for cake and cookies before starting the baby shower games. “How bout you?”

“Usual, work and then going home.”

“No word from Brodie?”

You shake your head. “Nothing. I think he got the message to leave me alone.” You take a seat on a stool in the kitchen while everyone gathers around Cara at the table in the attached dining area. “Have you been keeping your distance because of Brodie?”

Shawn raises his eyebrows. “I've been keeping my distance?”

You shrug.

“Is this because I haven't asked you out again? Because Brodie has nothing to do with that. I promise I want to go out again but I've been covering Ryan's over nights at the station. His wife is sick and I volunteered to help him out.”

“You've been working twenty four hours?”

“More like seventy two hours almost. I got this evening off since Ryan wasn't scheduled.”

“You are gonna crash. I know you can take naps at the station but still, it's not good sleep.” You lay your hand on his arm. “Promise me you'll get some rest tonight?”

“I promise I will. Are you free Friday night?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Meet me at the station around eight?”

You raise your eyebrows and he looks away as the group around the table cheer in congratulations for Cara. James, Cara's husband, calls Shawn over and he walks away to give Cara a hug and congratulate her as well. You watch as he snags a cookie from the box on the table and grins at you, holding it up before taking big bite while James talks to him about something. You roll your eyes. You were definitely going to go on the date with him, even if it was just hanging out at the firehouse. You liked Shawn that much, you could just watch TV with him. Damn. He was getting to you.

_____________

Friday night. You have no idea what to expect as you walk up to the firehouse. Shawn's truck is in the lot and so is Jeremy and Max's. Three meant that was the whole overnight crew. Had Shawn forgotten about your date? You open the side door of the firehouse and walk into the darkened garage toward the living area. It's quiet, no one around and you can feel your heart sink.

“Hey, you're early,” Shawn says, appearing from a doorway to your right. “I was just coming to meet you outside.”

“Oh, are we leaving? Aren't you on the night shift?”

Shawn chuckles and rubs the back of his neck. His shirt strains across his chest and you can't help but bite your lip. “I am on the night shift. I hoped we could stay in and have our date here?”

“Here? But aren't the guys here?”

“They're asleep in the bunks upstairs. I promise we won't be bothered.”

“And what are we doing?”

“Well,” Shawn steps back through the doorway and you follow him. He leads you into the small station kitchen and you can see all the basics for baking laid out on the counter tops. “I thought maybe we could bake together. Or more of you teach me how to bake.”

You grin. A baking date might just be the best thing you'd ever heard of. Shawn was truly a man after your heart. You circle around the center island and touch the bag of flour, chocolate chips, sugar and mini cupcake liners. “So do you want cupcakes or muffins?”

Shawn walks around to meet you and he's holding two aprons in his hand. “Muffins. They're my favorite cheat day food.”

You slide the apron on over your head and look down. It has a little muffin picture glued on to a felt heart. It's cute and you're pretty sure it's hand made. “Did you make this?” You giggle, smoothing your hand over the front of yourself.

“I did. I thought it was cute and you'd like it.” Shawn puts his apron on and his has a matching design. “Now, how bout those muffins?”

Shawn doesn't pay attention to half of what you say as you make the muffins. He tries so hard, he really does and you can tell. His focus is mostly on you, telling you how cute you are and how you're so good at this because you can do it without a recipe.

Every time you ask for him to measure something for you he asks what cup that is. You're pretty sure he has never baked a day in his life let alone used a measuring cup or measuring spoons. How he survived this long you'll never know.

“Shawn, have you not cooked before?” You ask with a giggle as you swat his hand away from the chocolate chips you're measuring.

“I cook all the time. I just don't bake. I don't measure anything other than rice or like liquids.” He leans against your back and tries to sneak his hand around to steal chips. He thinks he's slick. “Let me have some!”

“No!” You giggle and jerk the cup of chips away from his hand. You end up spilling them mostly in the bowl. “Oh you better stop.”

“Or what?” He asks against your ear. His voice sends shivers down your spine. “Are you gonna do something about it?”

“I won't make your muffins.”

Shawn's hands slide around your front and up your stomach. “Just one chocolate chip. Just a little tiny one.”

“Fine.” You grab exactly one chocolate chip and hold it up.

He leans over, pressing you into the counter with his chest and waist slotted firmly against your back. He closes his mouth around your fingers and takes the chip. “Thank you,” he murmurs against your ear, kissing it tenderly.

“You're welcome,” you whisper though you're very much alone in the kitchen with him.

Shawn pulls away, turning to grab the muffin tins off the island counter and the tension is broken just like that. He oils the pans just like you reminded him to earlier because the liners he bought were for a mini pan and he had a regular size pan. You can't help but watch as he carefully wipes each cup with an oiled paper towel, deliberately coating every inch of the metal. Something about him being so focused, so interested in baking, makes your heart flutter.

You turn your focus back to the batter. There was no time to be getting caught up in your feelings yet. This was only the second date. “Are you ready for the batter?”

“Yes ma'am,” Shawn grins, holding up his oiled pan. “Are you sure this is going to work?”

“Yes,” you chuckle. “I promise I won't make you eat muffins that are scraped out of the tin.”

“I mean I'd still enjoy them, but yeah it's a little easier when they're whole.”

“Okay, put them in the oven for twenty minutes and then we'll be set.”

Shawn carries the pan to the preheated oven and puts it in. “So, what do we want to do while these cook?” He grabs a handful of chocolate chips off the bowl on the counter and shoves it in his mouth. “We have movies.”

“You don't have a plan?”

“Well...ah...” He rubs his neck. “I suck at planning?”

“Obviously.” You walk towards him, hand raised to wipe a smear of chocolate chip on his lip. “You got some chocolate. Hold still.” You wipe it with your thumb but it just smears it. You can't help but stare at his soft pink plush looking lips. They're so kissable, so not chapped and ready for you to lean in and taste.

“Did you get it?”

“Quit talking.” You try again and it almost all comes off. “Hold still there's a little bit left.”

Shawn raises his arm and wipes it on his hand. “Better?”

“Worse!” You let out a laugh and he looks helpless. “I think you had some on your hand!”

“You're gonna have to lick it off.”

“Oh no I'm not.”

“Oh?” He steps closer, backing you against the island. “So you don't want to kiss me? That's not why you were staring at my lips, mouth parting, tongue peaking out to wet them...”

“Shut up.” You lean up and kiss him, licking the chocolate off his lip and smiling in the process. His lips were just as sweet and soft as you imagined.

Shawn brings his hand up to cup your cheek. “Knew you wanted to.”

“You talk too much.”

Shawn grins and presses his lips to yours once more. The kiss grows heated and intense. His hand find your hips, yours find his hair and back. You lick into his mouth and he responds just as eagerly.

You're so lost in each other that you don't hear someone walk in. You don't even know they're there until you hear, “In the kitchen? Come on.”

Shawn turns his head, eyeing the intruder. You look too, cheeks hot with embarrassment. In the doorway is Jeremy.

“I don't want to know. I just want a water bottle and one of whatever you're making when they're done.”

“Of course, yeah,” you say with a nervous little laugh.

Jeremy grabs his water and mutters something about damn kids these days. As soon as he's out of sight you raise your eyebrows at Shawn.

“They were asleep, I promise.” Shawn pleads. “I'm sorry I embarrassed you.”

“It's okay, I'm not that embarrassed. We were just kissing. But since he is up now, maybe we should keep it a little more low key?”

“Yeah,” Shawn chuckles. “I'll grab some cards if you're up for a few games?”

“Sure.”

The rest of the night you and Shawn play cards in the kitchen, eat muffins and just talk about all sorts of stuff. He asks about Brodie but you're not too keen on rehashing that past quite yet. You ask him about his parents and what they think of him becoming a firefighter and not taking over the farm. They're actually very proud of him and never expected him to work the farm if he wasn't interested. They were very supportive of him. The night winds down and you're stuffed with enough muffins and decaf coffee to gain a few pounds. Shawn offers to take you home and you accept, taking one last muffin for the road.

________________

“So what's new?” You ask Cait as you walk around your room looking for something to wear on another date with Shawn this coming weekend. He had stopped by the deli on Monday and asked you to go to the beach with him.

“Oh not much, just bedridden and seriously fat,” Cait laughs.

“Oh quit it. You're not fat. The baby is probably fat.”

“You're right on that one. Adam is a big guy, I'd be shocked if this baby was less than seven or eight pounds.”

“So you're due any day huh?”

Cait shuffles around and you're pretty sure she drop the phone for a second. “Any day now. I insisted on not being admitted early because of the bills. I'm beginning to regret that though. This little bugger is killing my back.”

“I bet. Have you picked a name yet?”

“Not yet. We're torn between Nathaniel and Andrew.”

You put your phone on speaker and grab a dress out of your closet. It's a nice simple black A-line. Maybe not too beachy. “Why not use one as a middle name?”

“I'm using dad's name for his middle name. Besides, I'm partial on Nathaniel. It works best with dad's name.”

“You're right. Definitely go with Nathaniel.”

“Duely noted. What about you? How has things been with the firefighter guy?”

You smile to yourself. Was perfect enough of a descriptor? An absolute dream? No. You sound crazy. Shawn was nice and good but he wasn't quite prince charming. Yet. “It's going really well. We have another date this weekend.”

“I Facebook stalked him, he seems like a real genuine guy. What does he like?”

“He likes books and food. I know he likes working out and he definitely has a soft spot for dogs I think. Every time Mr. Peter's walks his dog by the deli, Shawn stares like he wants to pet him so badly.”

Cait laughs. “If he pets that dog he will lose a hand! Remember when it chased us home from the park one time?”

“Oh my God I forgot about that. Damn that dog is old as hell.”

“Probably a real hellhound if you ask me.”

“Cait! Be nice.”

Cait scoffs. You can practically hear her rolling her eyes. “Anyway, Shawn sounds like a good guy. I hope he works out for you, God knows you need it.”

“Are you saying I'm hopeless?”

“Your usual taste in men could be better.”

You roll your eyes as you reach for your next dress in the closet. Too fancy for the beach. Jeans and a tee were looking to be the best option right now.

“Are you still planning on coming to the hospital with me?” Cait asks after a few seconds of silence.

“Of course. Mike knows when I get the text from you that I need to go.”

“Awesome. I can't wait to see you. I'm gonna hang up now though, I have to pee and I think I need a snack. Talk to you later, love you.”

“Love you too sis. Bye.”

_________________

It's just before midnight when you wake up to the smell of smoke. It's all too familiar and strikes a deep fear into you immediately. You jump out of bed and look around, there is no smoke in the house. For a split second you think it must be a nightmare, your brain playing tricks on you. Wouldn't be the first time.

You circle your house, taking a walk from your bedroom to the living room and ending in the kitchen. That's when you smell it again. The unmistakable smell of burning. It's coming from the open window in the kitchen. You turn and look to the front door, sure enough there are lights flashing, blurry from your curtains. The sound of sirens suddenly blaring in your ears.

You grab your robe and pull it on, heading for the front door to see what is on fire and where. The moment you step outside it's apparent where the smoke is coming from. One house down in your row of houses, there is black clouds billowing from the front window. The other neighbors are all in their front yards too and four of the firefighters are approaching the house.

One of the crew pulls away and starts jogging across the yards toward you. He pulls his helmet off and you see it's Shawn. In seconds he wraps his arms around you, the bulky gear rough against your exposed skin.

“Oh thank God it's not you.” He says desperately as he squeezes you tighter, face in your hair.

“What's going on? Of course I'm okay.”

“I saw the address and my stomach sank. I thought you were in danger, I thought I was going to lose you.” He pulls back and cups your face with his gloved hands. “But you're okay.”

You hold his arms and lean up on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “Yes I'm fine. Go do your job.”

Shawn looks back and two of the guys are walking out of the house carrying fire extinguishers. The owner, an elderly lady, is sitting in her lawn chair just shaking her head. “I think they've got it handled.”

You cup Shawn's cheek and he looks back to you. “Go. I'm fine.”

“Yeah...you're right. You're sure though? Are you feeling okay? I know the fire probably stresses you out.”

“I'm fine. The panic has passed. As much as I'd love to keep you as my emotional support firefighter, I'm sure Jeremy probably wants you with them.”

Shawn chuckles and kisses your cheek. “Tell your neighbors not to scare me half to death again. I dunno if my heart can take it.”

“I'll be sure to do that. Go on,” you shoo him away and he walks backwards, hand in yours until your arm is stretched out to just your fingertips touching.

“Good night,” Shawn says and you let your fingertips slip from his glove.

“Good night Shawn.” You grin and wrap your robe tight around yourself as you head inside to get some sleep.

________________

“Order up!” Mariel yells, passing you a sandwich to ring up.

You punch in the cost and turn to grab a bag of chips from the rack behind you. Your phone buzzes on the shelf under the counter and you spare a glance, obviously too busy to pick it up. It was probably just a telemarketer anyway. Or maybe Shawn making plans since your date the weekend before was amazing. You had taken him for sushi in Ashland and he loved it.

“Alright, that's ten dollars. Would like to add any extras today? A cookie or a drink?” you ask and the customer shakes his head and slides his card.

Your phone buzzes again and this time Mariel steps in and says you should answer it. You grab it and walk over to the side counter. The screen shows an unknown number and you roll your eyes before clicking answer. “Hello?”

“Oh thank God, it's Adam. I'm at the hospital with Cait. Something happened and I can't explain. She's okay but we need you here. She is freaking out.”

“Adam what happened? Is she in labor? What's going on?” You ask frantically, already pulling your apron off as you head for the front door. You glance back at Mariel and she just waves you off. “Adam, what is going on?”

“Cait fell, I don't know how. She called she was taken in an ambulance. They said she is okay but they're doing an ultrasound now. I have to hurry up, I'm using a pay phone outside and I'm out of change. We're at Berkin Ho-” The phone cuts off and the line beeps.

Your stomach churns. You have no idea how you're going to get to Berkin hospital. It's over half an hour drive and you're not really up for trying to find a car and drive there. You pull up the cab services number and as you hit dial, you see Shawn walk out of the firehouse and unlock his truck.

“Shawn,” you mutter desperately. You jog across the street and he looks up with a smile when he sees you. “Shawn, can you take me to Berkin Hospital? Please I'll give you anything you want, I'll owe you a thousand muffins. Please.”

“Whoa hey are you okay?” He asks, circling the front of the truck to hold your arms, eyes scanning you for injury. “What happened?”

“It's not me. It's my sister. She's pregnant...she fell or something I don't know,” you're sobbing, body shaking like a leaf. “Her husband called from a pay phone and he sounded scared and he said Cait is freaking out.”

Shawn pulls you into a quick hug. “Let's go, you need to be there.”

________________

By the time you get to the hospital Cait has just been taken in for a C-section. Adam is in the hall beyond the emergency waiting area and he comes out to explain what happened. He says that Cait said she was going to the kitchen for water when Boo, their cat, got under her feet and she fell backwards onto her butt. Her water broke and she called emergency services, and then him in the ambulance. The doctor recommended a C-section because he is afraid of something having happened in the fall, the baby getting jarred a little harshly, and he doesn't want to wait until Cait is fully dilated in the event there is injury. Cait agreed and decided to have a C-section now, but they're in prep and waiting for her doctor to show up.

You turn to Shawn as Adam walks back through the door to the emergency wing, intending for you to follow him. “You can go home. I'm okay, thanks for bringing me.”

“Can I stay? I really don't have anything going on at home and you look like you could use some company.”

“Uh yeah, sure. Come on.” You lead Shawn through the doors and into the small room where Adam is sitting. “Hey, Adam. Do you mind if Shawn stays?”

Adam looks up from his phone. His eyes are red, he's been crying and you can just now see it in the bright lights of the sterile room. “No, that's fine. He's your boyfriend right? Cait told me you were seeing someone.”

“Ah, yeah. He's my,” you glance over to Shawn and he's trying to hide a smile but failing. “He's my friend. We've gone out a few times. It's whatever.”

Adam looks between the two of you with a half smile. “Me and Cait were just friends too.”

“Shut up,” you murmur, shoving Adam. “Hey, I thought your phone was dead.”

Adam holds it up on a bright purple cord that attached to a wall charger. “One of the nurses got a cord from a lady up in the ICU for me.”

“Oh, that's good.” You look around the small room and lean against the wall awkwardly. There was only one guest chair and Adam was sitting in it.

Shawn picks up on the situation and clears his throat. “Anyone want some food? I can swing by the cafeteria while we wait.”

“No thanks man. I'm not hungry, too nervous,” Adam says and turns back to his phone.

You nod, knowing Shawn probably hasn't eaten in a while. “Yeah, I should eat something. I don't feel like it really but I haven't eaten since breakfast.”

Shawn puts his arm around you and leads you into the hall. “I know my way around here pretty well, and I have a discount at the cafeteria.”

“Yeah? Work brings you here?”

“Not always,” Shawn chuckles. “Not always.”

________________

Shawn tells you to get whatever you want as he stands in line at the hot bar. You look around at the selection on the soup and salad bar and decide to just get a small salad and crackers. You meet up with Shawn at the register and he has a tray loaded with food. He shows some sort of ID badge and the cashier scans it before he pays.

“So firefighters get a discount here?” You ask as you dress your salad. “Or are you just special?”

Shawn chuckles. “All emergency service personnel gets a discount here. But I am special too.”

You roll your eyes. “Special huh?”

“Yeah, I was admitted here as a kid. I spent like three weeks in the ICU while they figured out what was wrong with me. Turned out my appendix had attached itself to my muscle tissue and was inflamed to nearly ten times it's size.”

“Holy shit, are you okay?”

Shawn chuckles over a bite of his chicken sandwich. “Yeah of course. The appendix is pointless anyway, but it was hell for the doctors to get it off the muscle wall without it bursting. I've got a scar now but it's not too bad.”

“Damn. You're lucky then I guess.”

“Very lucky. Wanna see the scar?” Shawn stands up and tugs his shirt up for you to see. It's pale pink, about the length of your index finger and right along the V of his hip to his lower stomach. “It's faded a lot now.”

“That's big. Did they take any of the muscle with it?”

Shawn plops back down and sticks some fries in his mouth, shaking his head. “Nah. The doctor was really good. But anyway, how about you? Any crazy medical stories?”

“No,” you laugh softly. “I was a healthy non reckless kid.”

“That's no fun. No broken bones? Toys stuck where they shouldn't be?”

“No, oh my God. My dad kept an eye on me and so did Cait.” You push your salad around on the plate, momentarily lost in thought. “Cait is gonna be a good mom.”

“Yeah?”

You nod. “Mmhmm. I'm glad her and Adam finally got pregnant. They've been trying for ages. She deserves it y'know? After all we've been through, she deserves a happy ending.”

Shawn bumps his water bottle against yours and you look up from where you've spaced out, staring into the depths of your salad bowl. “You deserve it too. Don't forget that.”

“Yeah,” you chuckle. “Yeah I guess so.”

________________

You and Shawn talk a little longer, mostly about family stuff and some crazy childhood stories. Most of his make you wonder how he's even alive still, but you conclude he must just be extremely lucky. Adam texts you and says the doctors are taking Cait to a room to recover and he gives you the floor and room number. You and Shawn wrap up and head for the elevators to get upstairs. Cait would want to see you no doubt.

“So do they know what the gender is yet?” Shawn asks as he leans forward, holding the door open for a nurse who was jogging to catch it.

“Yeah, it's a boy. I just hope they settled on a name.”

“Shawn?” The nurse asks as the doors close softly.

“Uh yeah?” Shawn tilts his head, looking her over as if trying to figure out how she knew his name.

“Darcy, from the emergency responders luncheon two years ago?” The nurse says, grinning.

Shawn shakes his head. “I'm sorry, I don't recall. Did we sit together or...”

“Oh. Uh, yeah. Sort of.”

You give Shawn a look and he just kinda deadpans.

“I'm really sorry. I must have been out of it.”

Darcy scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Yeah obviously. You'd had a few but I didn't think you were smashed enough to forget me.”

Shawn turns scarlet. His eyes go wide and you have a feeling he remembers exactly who Darcy is now. He remains silent until her floor dings and she gets off, leaving you with Shawn alone in an awkward silence.

“She sounded upset. What was that about?”

“Listen, I was a jerk a few years ago. Brand new firefighter with cockiness to spare. Believe me. I was a douchebag. She probably should have slapped me.”

You let out a low whistle as the doors open on your floor and the two of you step out. “So I should be careful huh?”

“I grew up. I promise.”

“Mmhmm.”

You get to Cait's room and she is overjoyed to see you. The baby is sleeping on her chest, so small and fragile, only five pounds she says. His name is Nathaniel. You introduce Shawn and explain that he brought you to the hospital, and he's the one that you'd told her about on the phone. Cait plays it off like she didn't recognize him immediately from her Facebook creeping. After a while of visiting you get to hold the baby while Cait rests.

Shawn looks like he's going to die when you glance over to where he's sitting in one of the guest chairs. He just stares at you while you're cuddling this little tiny bundle of baby and blankets in your arms.

“Do you want to hold him?” You grin and he looks terrified.

“I don't know. I probably shouldn't.”

You stand and walk over to where Shawn is sitting and you carefully pass Nathaniel to him. He cuddles him against his chest awkwardly, arms huge in comparison. “It's not too hard. See, he fits right in your arm there.”

“He's so small.” Shawn boops the baby's nose. “I always wanted kids one day. But when they're this tiny I'm nervous I'll break them.”

“They're more resilient than you might think.”

Shawn pets back Nathaniel's little bit of sparse dark hair. He looks so soft, so natural holding a baby like this. It makes you smile, and gives you a strange butterfly like feeling in your stomach. Shawn with kids is a little too much for you to dream of but you'd be damned if you weren't.

“You're still here?” Cait asks sleepily from the bed.

“Yeah, Adam is on his way back now. I figured we would stay until he got here.”

As if on cue, Adam walks in with Cait's over night bag. You help Shawn put Nathaniel into his bassinet and give Cait a hug. You say your goodbyes and promise to visit as soon as she's is home and feeling up to visitors. Shawn drives you home, leaving you with a chaste kiss and plans to meet up after work tomorrow evening.

________________

It is just after four in the afternoon a week later and you sit outside the deli waiting for Shawn to get off work. You check your phone, scrolling through social media and chatting with some people who messaged you. Before you know it half an hour has passed and still Shawn hasn't come out of the firehouse. You don't want to seem like that annoying girl but he made plans and wasn't even replying to your texts.

You cross the street and knock on the door. No answer. You try the handle and it's locked. They must be out on a call. You feel kinda bad now, not even thinking about the possibility of him actually working late. You had just gotten used to them not getting called out very much recently.

You decide to walk home, maybe stop by the minimart on the way to grab some snacks. There was no telling when Shawn would be available or if he would even feel like hanging out after a call. It's fine, you would just talk to him tomorrow.

The minimart bell dings and you raise a hand in greeting to Mae, the old woman behind the counter. She greets you with a smile. You grab a few things, a small pint of chocolate ice cream, a Snickers bar and a bag of chips.

“Bad day?” Mae asks, ringing up your purchases.

“No, just wanted a few snacks.” You glance over at her little tv that is showing a newscast from a reporter in a field. There is a massive blaze behind him and he keeps glancing back warily.

“That's sad isn't it?” Mae asks, looking back at the TV. “They said the drivers of both vehicles are dead and the explosion hurt some of the emergency responders trying to get them out.”

Your stomach sinks. Shawn was probably out there. “Oh my God. What happened? Where is it at?”

“Tanker truck hit an SUV I think. It's just off route 45 to Benton I think. Probably a truck coming to fill up the tanks at the Phillips station.”

“I-I have to go.” You leave your items on the counter and take off running for the deli.

The door clatters loudly as you rush in the deli and up to the counter. The few people in the dining area give you worried looks as you lean over the counter.

Mariel comes out of the back area and sees you, her face falling immediately. “What's wrong? What happened?”

“There's an explosion and a crash on 45. I need your keys I need to get there now. Shawn could be there.”

Mariel digs in her apron pocket and hands you her keys. “Be careful.”

Ten agonizing minutes later and you pull Mariel's little blue car over off the side of the highway and leave it in favor of walking the last few hundred feet. The tanker is still on fire, both fire engines are parked off to the side, no hydrants are available for water this far out on the highway. You look around for any of the firefighters, desperate to find out if Shawn is there.

“Ma'am, you can't be here!” An officer yells as you walk past the news crews who are waiting for more details.

You ignore him, your sights set on a group of firemen standing by an ambulance. Your heart is pounding, none of them look tall enough to be Shawn.

Another officer cuts you of, holding up their hand to stop you from getting at closer. “Ma'am you need to go back to your car. No bystanders are allowed near the wreck.”

“I'm not going to the wreck I'm going to the ambulance over there,” you say, pointing to the ambulance that's getting ready to leave.

“No you're not. You need to leave.”

“Sir you don't understand, I need to-”

The officer steps forward as you start to try and pass him. “Ma'am, I'm not going to tell you again. Go back to you vehicle and leave.”

“Jeremy! Ryan!” You shout and the officer says something but you can't hear him. He grabs your arm and starts dragging you away. “JEREMY! JEREMY!”

Jeremy turns around and sees you being pulled away by the officer. He comes walking over, calling the officer off as he approaches. “What are you doing here? This is a dangerous situation.”

“Where is Shawn? Is he here? I saw on the news that some people got hurt trying to rescue the drivers.”

“Shawn will be okay. I need you to leave. I'll call you as soon as I can with more information.”

“Oh my God,” you start trembling, stomach churning. “Ohmygod he's in the ambulance isn't he?”

Jeremy puts his hand on your arm and you lean against him. He pulls you into a hug, hand on the back of your head as you let out a heavy sob. “He will be fine. He's strong, he knows the dangers of his job. Please, you need to go home. There is nothing here for you.”

You don't go home. You go to the hospital and wait in the ER lobby for two hours. Two agonizing hours. The receptionist won't tell you anything, she doesn't know anything actually. She says she will let you know when he is allowed visitors. You text Mariel that you have the car and you're at Birkin Hospital. She says she walked home and it's fine that she understands.

You're curled up across two hard seats, half asleep when the receptionist says that Shawn is allowed to have visitors. You grab your purse and push through the automatic doors as they open slowly to the ER rooms. You turn down the hall to room 042 and push the door open and your heart stops.

Shawn is asleep, chest rising and falling softly. He has an oxygen tube in his nose and he's hooked up two a few monitors and an IV drip. He's in a white hospital gown. His face is mostly clean, a few remnants of blood and what looks like mud on his chin. You just stare, tears burning your eyes and spilling over your cheeks. You take a shaky step forward and grab a couple paper towels and wet them in the small wash sink to the right of his bed.

“Jesus Christ what were they doing for two hours?” You wipe at his face, clearing off a smudge of blood from his cheek. It's then you notice his arm is in a white plaster cast and there is tape and gauze sticking out from under the collar of his gown.

The door opens and a nurse walks in. “Oh, hello. I'm Shona. I'm the nurse on rounds for tonight.”

You introduce yourself, lying that you're his fiance just in case she doesn't release any information to you. You watch as she administers a syringe of something into his IV drip. “What is that?”

“Morphine. He's going to be hurting when he wakes up.”

“What happened? I mean, what took two hours? I know what happened, like the accident.”

Shona grabs a chart on the wall beside the bed and flips it up. “Fractured arm, multiple lacerations to the chest and stomach. Bruised ribs.” She scans down the chart. “Looks like he was on oxygen and being monitored for smoke inhalation and potential internal bleeding for a few hours. The bleeding was negative. That's what took so long it seems.”

“Jesus Christ Shawn.” You ball the paper towel up in your hand and take a seat in the guest chair.

“If you need anything or if he wakes up, let me know. Just press the nurse button and I'll come see how he's doing.”

You nod and Shona leaves the room. You don't care how long it is, you're going to stay until he wakes up.

Jeremy shows up a little while later. He talks to the nurse, getting a run down of Shawn's condition. The two of you talk briefly and and says to text him when Shawn wakes up. Let him know if he wants visitors or if he's going to be admitted. You promise that you'll keep him updated.

________________

“What're you doing here?”

You sit up from where you've passed out across the two hard plastic chairs. It's almost midnight according to the clock on the wall. On the bed Shawn is sitting up right, well, propped more upright with the help of the bed.

“You're awake!”

“Yeah. I just woke up, what happened? Why are you here?”

You stand and go over to the side of the bed. He grabs your hand and holds it in his. “I'm not entirely sure what happened. I think the tanker exploded and you must have been knocked back? You're pretty beat up.”

“Fuck.” Shawn closes his eyes and licks his lip. “I knew I shouldn't have gone into try and help the truck driver. He was already fucking gone.”

“Shawn, it's okay. You were doing your job.”

“I was being an idiot. I know better than to try and go into a situation like that. I could have died.”

You lay your hand on his cheek and turn his face to look at you. “You didn't die. You're fine, a little rough, but you're fine. Stop beating yourself up.”

“What are you doing here?” He asks, eyes tearing up. “You should be at home, sleeping and angry I stood you up. Why are you sitting in a crappy ER room with me?”

“I'm here because I saw the news and I just knew something had happened. I don't know how, but I knew you were hurt and I had to get to you.” You wipe a tear away with your thumb. “I’ve been here since they brought you in. Jeremy came by but he didn't want to hang out too long. I gotta let him know you're awake.”

“How did you know they brought me here?”

“I followed the ambulance. Shawn, I drove to the accident because I was freaking out. I almost got arrested for resisting an officer just to get closer to find out where you were.”

Shawn's eyes widen. “You are the craziest woman I know.”

“Somehow I doubt that.”

“God I love you.”

“Shawn, you better just stop talking. It sounds like the morphine is making you a little loopy.” You grab the bed remote and press the nurse button. You pull your hand from Shawn's and he pouts, eyeing you from across the room as Shona comes in and starts taking vitals and asking how he feels.

You excuse yourself to the hall so you can call Jeremy. Really it's because Shawn's words just gave you a heart attack and you're pretty sure if he kept talking you'd go into cardiac arrest.

________________

Six hours later and Shawn is released. Jeremy had stopped by with a change of clothes for him from the firehouse. You had tried to get him to call his parents, to let them know what happened, but he said he wasn't ready. The doctor said he shouldn't be left alone, that it would be best if you or someone stayed with him over night just in case but all his vitals were normal and other than bruising and the broken arm, he was in amazing condition. He was lucky.

The drive home is quiet. You swing by the 24 hour pharmacy on the way out of town to get the pain medication that the doctor prescribed. Shawn waits in the car. You grab some snacks and a couple of reusable hot/cold compresses. You're sure he will need them.

You help Shawn into the house and he insists on sleeping on the couch but you know that is not what he needs. You don't mind taking the couch for a few days or even weeks. However long Shawn needed to stay with you was okay. It takes a lot of convincing but he eventually agrees to sleep in your bed propped up.

“You don't have to do this,” he says for the dozenth time since you left the hospital. “I'll be alright.”

“Shawn, I'm not going to leave you at your place alone. The doctor said to monitor you and that's what I'm going to do.”

He's quiet, just like every time he tried to get you to leave him before. You don't know what he's getting at by telling you the same thing. You're also not sure, but it could be a side effect of the pain medicines making him a little loopy and forgetful. “You're amazing.”

You fluff a blanket out across his lap and shake your head. “You would do the same for me.”

“I would. A thousand times over I would.”

You lean forward to grab a pillow and he grabs your hand, stopping you halfway. You look down at his scraped up knuckles against your soft skin. “Yes?”

“Thank you.” He whispers, eyes finding yours. “I’m sorry I scared you and put you through this.”

You rub your thumb over the back of his hand. “You we're doing your job. I know what dangers come with being a fireman. I know what I signed up for.”

Shawn cracks a soft smile. His tired face looking far more gorgeous than it should right now. “You say that like we're a couple.” His eyes are glassy and you want to discuss relationships and feelings right now but somehow you know it's not going to do any good. His medicine was knocking him out and he was getting loose lipped. You don't feel right talking about something serious while he basically has no inhibitions.

“Get some rest,” you say, pulling your hand from his and cupping his cheek. “I'll be in the living room and you can just holler if you need anything.”

“Yes ma'am.” He hums and leans back against the pillows, eyes closed. You move around the room quietly, picking up a few things before leaving him be and by the time you finish he is passed out, soft snores filling the room. You give him one last look from the doorway and sigh softly. You were definitely gone for him and you don't mind one bit.

________________

The next few days Shawn's spends mostly in bed. He doesn't go out, just hangs out at your house while you go to work. The guys from the fire station stop by the deli and ask about him, you tell them he's doing alright. Which he is. He just seems a little shaken up still, like it's really hitting him that he could have died. Jeremy brought you his keys and spare clothes from the station to take home with you so he would have some things to wear.

It's Wednesday and you wake up stiff from sleeping on the couch again. It's your day off and you plan on trying to get Shawn to go visit the guys at the station. You sit up and Shawn is standing in the kitchen trying to break eggs into a bowl with one hand. He's getting visibly annoyed and you climb off the couch to go help.

“Shawn, let me do it,” you say softly as you approach him and see three shattered eggs in a bowl.

He sighs heavily, stepping aside to let you take over. “I hate this.”

“I know.” You fold the carton closed and turn the stove off. “We're going to go out for breakfast. You've been cooped up here for days, it's time to go out.”

Shawn grumbles. “I don't want to go out.”

“Too bad. You're becoming a grumpy old man. And you owe me a date.”

“I do,” he sighs softly. “Okay, you got me. I'll get dressed.”

Half an hour later and you are walking together along the beach and you're feeding him bites of a muffin. The two of you opted to get some blueberry muffins and coffee from the cafe to go.

“I'm really sorry,” he says as you head for the underside of the pier that was attached to the deck of the crab shack

“For what?”

“For putting you through this kind of stress. I was reckless and I got myself hurt.”

You finish off the bit of muffin in your hand and shake your head at him. “I mean, I know what risks a firefighter has to take. I know you're going to get hurt. I don't like it, and yeah, you were reckless and you could have died. But you didn't.”

“I don't even have anything to show for it. I didn't save the truck driver.”

“Hey,” you grab his hand and he threads his fingers through yours. “You have your life to show for it. I'm not angry at you, I'm not even disappointed. I'm glad you're alive and barely hurt.”

Shawn drops your hand and sits down in the sand. You sit beside him and the water washes up over your toes. “Why do you care so much about me?”

“Because I like you. You're an amazing guy and you're sweet. You're everything I've ever dreamed of in a guy. How could I not care?”

He shrugs. “I guess I've never felt that sort of thing from anyone I've dated. We hit it off so fast, I was actually really nervous I was going to fuck everything up.”

“Well you didn't.” You laugh and lay your head on his shoulder. “You actually did quite the opposite.”

“I did everything right?”

You nod.

He grabs your hand and plays with it. His knuckles are scrapped up, red and a little bruised. He measures your hand against his, palms together before bringing it up to kiss softly.

“Can I ask you something really cheesy?”

“Of course.”

“Do you believe in love at first sight?”

You laugh softly. Before you met him, you probably would have said no. But there was something about Shawn that changed everything for you. Something that made you feel like you couldn't get enough of him. Something that made you wanna go all in and not stop.

“I think I do.”

________________

Six months later

“Hey hot stuff,” Shawn purrs, hands on your waist pulling you back against him. “Is this my shirt?”

You let out a squeal and drop the spatula you are using to stir your scrambled eggs. “Yes it is. What are you doing scaring me like that?” You laugh, leaning your head back against him.

“Notice anything different?” He wiggles his fingers against your sides. You don't feel the familiar hard edge of his cast pushing against your skin.

“Your cast is gone!”

He turns you around and holds his hands up. The blue plaster cast is totally gone. You put your hand in his and he squeezes gently. “It's going to be weak for a while, but I have stretches and stuff to do to build the strength back up. The doc said my bones looks good and the muscles should bounce back in no time since I did the exercising with my fingers with the cast on.”

“I'm so happy. You'll be able to do more than just in house work at the station. I know between that and hanging around here you were getting a little stir crazy.”

Shawn grabs your hips and lifts you up on the counter top so you're just a hair taller than him. He steps between your legs and bumps his nose against yours. “The only thing that makes me crazy is you.”

“Mmm,” you lean in for a kiss and he kisses you slow and drawn out for just a lingering moment. “This is very sexy and all, but you probably shouldn't be lifting me quite yet.” You lay your hand over his forearm and he makes a noise of protest as he bumps his nose against yours for another kiss. “I'm serious Shawn.”

“I know.” He pulls back, looking at you softly. “I got excited. I haven't been able to do what I want for a while.” He grips the swells of your hips and grins. “Couldn’t hold you like I wanted to.”

“Shawn,” you flush and he gives you bedroom eyes. “Later.” You reach over and pull your pan off the burner so your eggs don't over cook any more.

Shawn looks over and steps back so you can get down and finish making your breakfast. “I'm just saying, my station tee would look really good on the floor of the bedroom right now.”

You turn and point your spatula at him. “And I'm just saying, it sounds like you need to take a cold shower and calm that fire in your pants, hot stuff.”

Shawn just groans and turns away, going to the bathroom. You hear the shower come on and you just laugh, sitting down to eat your breakfast.

________________

“Are you still interested in the old antique shop next to the deli?” Shawn asks one day over lunch. You're sat together in the station dining room while the other guys nap in the bunks upstairs.

“Yeah, but I'm a little over a thousand dollars short. I might take out a loan or something. I really want to open the bakery. I'm so close but it's still so far.”

Shawn twirls a stir stick between his fingers. “I uh...I have a couple grand in my savings.”

“No.”

“Honey, I'd be an investor. Hell, I don't even know if I'll be able to come back to firefighting full time with my arm the way it is. I've got permanent screws in it. If I can make your dream come true, and possibly be a part of it, then that's everything I could ever want.”

You lay your hand over the scars on the back of his forearm and sigh softly. “You're making great progress. The doctor said the screws shouldn't stop you from doing your job.”

Shawn sighs. “It's just...what if I get hurt again? What if it's worse?”

“Shawn.” You turn his face up to look at you across the table. “Why did you take this job? Remember what you told me when I asked why you became a firefighter?”

“Because I wanted to help people.”

“That's right. And you're going to do that. You're going to save so many lives Shawn. I know you're anxious about returning to the job completely, but don't get into the mindset that it's not going to work. You can do anything.”

“You're right. I can. So I'm going to be a firefighter and I'm also going to be an investor in your bakery.”

You shake your head as you let out a laugh. “Shawn, no! I can get a loan.”

“Listen,” he covers your hands with his and lifts them up. “I always wanted to help people, that was my dream, and I'm doing something I love no matter how anxious I am about returning to it. You want to bake, you deserve to have your dreams come true as well. Let me be part of it, please?” He kisses your fingers gently.

“Fine. Just the thousand, I'll pick up the rest. It'll be enough to get the lease on the shop, supplies and pay the first two months utilities. I have all of dad's equipment in storage so we just have to install everything.”

Shawn grins big. “I know a couple of strong guys who would love to help out in exchange for some baked goods.” You giggle and he leans over the table to kiss you.

__________________

“The place is all set up with fairly new electrical and plumbing, everything is up to code for a food business or retail. What was it you wanted to put in here?” The realtor asks as she walks you and Shawn around the empty shop.

“A bakery.” You stand by a counter that could use some love but would work for the time being.

“Oh! Well the building was actually a bakery at one time so the outlets should definitely be up to code for food equipment.”

You turn and look at the realtor. Her name is Peggy. “I know. It was my dad's place.”

“Wow! Really? That's amazing. Does the landowner know that?”

“I'm not sure. Why?”

“Well, sometimes people are sentimental to family businesses. I can talk to him if you like, it's worth a shot.” Peggy lays down her folder on the counter. “I'll leave you with some of the information on the building. I'm sure you probably know most of it, but take a look at it and get back to me with an offer and I'll contact the owner.”

Shawn walks over from the windows and puts his arm around your waist. “Why didn't you tell me this was your dad's place? This is going to be amazing.”

“I know, I can't wait,” you beam, taking the folder off the counter and following Peggy out of the building.

_______________

You walk in the doors of the firehouse and the place is loud and bustling. The garage and living area have been turned into a party room. It's the annual fill the boot fundraiser, where the firefighters raise money to fill one of the boots from their gear to donate to a charity. It's an adult only event that goes over quite well with the town's residents. There is food, drinks, games and even a little something special. Every year a couple of the guys volunteer to play a game where they dress up in all of their gear and attendees pay set amounts for certain pieces of clothing and gear to come off. All proceeds from the game, food, and drinks go to “fill the boot” for the years charity. This is only your second year attending and Shawn said you had to come, that he'd be devastated if you didn't.

You're a little late, having worked an extra hour at the deli to help deep clean behind the counter. You had already promised you would or else you wouldn't have stayed. There is loud music, some catchy country band blaring over the speakers in the garage. Everyone is chatting and having a good time. You don't see Shawn right away, eyes scanning for the hard to miss giant.

“Grab a table, I'm gonna get drinks!” Mariel shouts from beside you over the music.

You no sooner get sat down then the DJ for the evening is announcing that they're going to have their next firefighter come out for the clothing bidding and that the goal is three hundred dollars. It's a steep amount, usually the guys go for a hundred or so.

“Again, that goal is three hundred dollars! And as always no touching the firefighters unless they allow it. Keep your hands in your pockets and your cash ready to donate!”

Shawn walks out of the office in his gear and you can't help the smile that spreads across your face. No wonder they were looking to raise so much. Shawn was the youngest on staff and by far the most attractive. Of course you're biased, but you see the way people stare at him when you go out. Honestly you can't blame them, but he is all yours.

Mariel sits next to you and slides you a Coke. “Is that your man?”

“Yes.” You lean back, folding your arms in amusement. You can't wait to see how fast his clothes come off.

The DJ starts the bidding with his helmet at twenty dollars. Usually it's a ten dollar item but not with this hot commodity. The helmet is gone instantly, a lady you recognize from the grocery store hands over a bill for it. Gloves fly off at twenty. Boots at thirty take a minute but someone takes one for the team to get the ball rolling. His jacket is next and you just chuckle at the crowd already getting excited.

Shawn looks to you and you just shake your head. He walks into the tables toward you and starts unbuttoning his jacket, opening it and cheering people on to donate the forty dollars to take it off. He winks at you, biting his lip. There is a taker as soon as he leans against the table of a group of college girls across from you.

The pants are next, it's just the fireproof ones but the way Shawn undoes them you'd think he was taking off his jeans already. People are getting rowdy, young ladies reaching for him. The pants donation goes fast. He returns to the front area where the DJ is calling out the next article of clothing. He is barefooted, standing up there in his blue jeans and tee shirt. Of course he has on one of his station shirts that is tight and shows off his body. The jerk. He was loving this.

Mariel lets out a whistle as the DJ calls for his shirt donation. A whopping fifty dollars. You roll your eyes and he grabs the edges, ready to pull off. A guy walks up and drops the donation into the DJ's hand. Shawn pulls the tee up and over, revealing a tank top underneath.

“Are you sure he's wasn't a stripper?” Mariel laughs.

“Nah, he's just cocky. He knows all these people want him.”

“He's just showing off for you.”

“Probably.”

The DJ announces his undershirt for fifty dollars. There's a hesitation in the crowd. It's a lot, and it's one of the top two with the best result physically. “Fifty dollars, for the elementary school to get new play equipment! Come on up, you know you want to see this hot piece of man take his shirt off. It's the best part of the evening- We got a taker!”

Mariel stands up and walks across the room with her money. “Take it off Mendes!”

Shawn throws his head back and laughs. He pulls the tank top off and the room goes apeshit. He crosses the room and hands his tank top to you and Mariel. “Too bad babe, you should have bid on my shirt. I'd have brought it to you too.”

“But I'm going to get it tonight anyway.”

Shawn leans forward and grins. “Yes you will.”

Up next is his pants and that's the last fifty dollars. It takes no time, the DJ doesn't even finish announcing it before three of the college girls come up, the money between them. Sure enough, Shawn undoes his button, zips them down and shucks them. He stands there in his dark red boxers while everyone cheers.

“That is it! Three hundred dollars and you Mr. Mendes are free to get dressed!”

“How much for the boxers?!” Someone yells and Shawn flushes. You laugh.

Shawn goes to the booth and says something inaudible. The DJ leans over to talk to Jeremy who's handling the donation totals.

“Four hundred dollars?” The DJ says quietly, but loud enough everyone can still hear on the speaker. The three men talk quietly for a moment and then Shawn steps back, walking with a smirk to the middle of the front area.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Shawn grins, hands on his hips. “For the remaining amount that we need to raise. For four hundred dollars, yes, four big ones, I will take off my boxers right here and right now.”

Your eyes go wide and you stand up. Shawn looks at you with the biggest shit eating grin on his face. You shake your head as he silently dares you to stop him.

“Do you take credit cards?” Someone yells jokingly.

Shawn saunters out into the crowd and glides his thumbs along his waistband. “No cards, only cold hard cash.”

You leave your seat and walk around to meet him. You lay your hand on his chest and walk him right back up to the front, eyes locked on his the whole time. He knew how to get you riled up. That was for sure.

“No touching ma'am!” The DJ calls out

Shawn raises his arm and waves him off, allowing it for you.

“You want me to donate it don't you?”

“I wanted to see if I could get a rise out of you.” He leans in and whispers, “It's working.”

“Do we have a donation?” The DJ asks and you look over to him. To the right you can see a table of people getting their money together. It's about to happen.

“You got your rise.” You glance down at his stomach and he chuckles.

“I did. Grab my wallet out of my jeans. There's a couple hundred in there for tonight.”

You step past him, grab his jeans and fish his wallet out. You march to the DJ booth and hand over the money.

“Ladies and gentlemen we have hit our goal!”

Shawn grabs the mic from the DJ and grins, “If you guys don't mind, I think I'll take my boxers off in front of the lady here in private.”

There's a sigh of disappointment from the crowd.

“Now now, I think she earned it since she is the sole donor.” He looks over at you and you roll your eyes. “And my beautiful girlfriend.”

An awe from the crowd erupts and they cheer as you help Shawn gather up his gear and clothes to take back into the office. The two of you squeeze into the tiny room and Shawn just laughs.

“You're such a little shit,” you laugh and shove his shoulder. “What if I didn't step up?”

“Then I guess I'd be flashing a room of people right now.”

You cross your arms and he steps close, hands on your hips.

“Honey, I'm teasing. I would have made the donation myself. You know I'm yours, I'm not going to show the goods off to the public.”

“There were enough eyes on you tonight. Thank God they can't touch you.”

“Hey,” he whispers, tilting your head to look at him. “I'm yours and you're mine remember? It's just for fun.”

“You're right,” you sigh and close your eyes. “I'm jealous over nothing. I'm sorry.”

He leans in and kisses you softly. “I forgive you. Now, you wanna see my dick?” he laughs.

“Not unless you're putting it to good use.” You smirk and he raises his eyebrows.

He growls and pulls your hips against his and gives you that look that could make you do just about anything. “I’ll have to take a rain check.”

________________

Three months later

The grand opening if Hot Stuff Bakery is easily one of the best days of your life. The owner of the building accepted your offer after the realtor told him your history with it. You ended up getting it for quite a bit less than you planned so you actually had a little left over to do some extra renovation to the front end.

You and your friends and family are all standing around talking, everyone is enjoying your dipping bread and muffins. The whole town has come out to see your shop and reminisce on the days when your dad owned the place. Many say it has the same charm and for that you couldn't be more proud.

“Hey,” Shawn comes around with a little white to go box in his hand. “I made you something.”

“Yeah?” You giggle, grabbing his box and opening it to find a little white frosted cupcake. It's a perfect spiral, just how you'd showed him.

“I made it at home while you were here last night. I even made a strawberry filling. But there is another surprise in there too.”

You raise your eyebrows. Mr. Fancy over here was really trying to win your heart. As if he didn't already have it. “Oh yeah?”

“Mmmhmm.”

You go over to the refrigerator case and pull out a chocolate iced cupcake. “Well, see the funny thing is, I also made you a special cupcake.”

“What? No way.”

“Yes.” You laugh as you set it down in front of him. “I'm appalled you stole my idea.”

Shawn rolls his eyes and smiles. “I guess we’re like meant to be together or something.”

“Yep. Now, rock paper scissors to see who gets surprised first?” You hold your fist up over your hand and he does the same. Three quick rounds and he emerges the victor. “Ugh! I don't wanna go first.”

“Too bad.” Shawn places the cupcake in your hand.

You dig your thumbs into the side of it. “I gotta see this filling.” You look up at him and he's just grinning. You pull the soft cake apart and out oozes some very delicious looking strawberry jam but also something hard. You pick it out of the sticky filling and realize exactly what it is. A wedding ring.

“Will you marry me?” Shawn asks taking the ring and wiping it on his jeans.

Your jaw drops. You turn and grab his cupcake. “I think your answer is in here.”

Shawn frowns, confused about your reaction. He takes the cake and opens it like you had. There is no filling in his, and a little tiny toy baby falls out onto the counter. “I... don't understand. How is this my answer?”

“What is it?”

“A toy baby? I don't get it, am I supposed to-” His eyes widen and you can literally see his brain working. “You're pregnant?!”

“Two months!” You blurt out and everyone looks at the two of you.

Shawn drops down, hands shaking on your waist. He presses his forehead against your stomach and lets out a little cry of joy and kisses you. He stands back up, hands all over your sides and stomach. “I'm going to be a dad... I'm going to be a dad! I'm going to get married!”

Ryan and Jeremy start the congratulations, clapping loudly and everyone joins in. “You always said you were gonna marry her one day!” Jeremy laughs and you look over and back to Shawn.

“You really said that to them?” you laugh and he wraps his arms around you and spins you around.

“I did. The first day I met you in the deli, I knew I had to marry you someday.” He sets you down and cups your face. “I can't wait to be your husband, and a dad.”

“Me neither.” You grin and he bumps his nose against yours. “I love you.”

“I love you too. To the moon and back.”

You close your eyes and smile. “To the moon and back.”

End

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shawnsorangeglasses · 5 years ago

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Better Conversations - Part 8

3.7k words

Look who finally decided to post!

Synopsis: Another assistant AU, you’ve known Shawn since the beginning but you don’t really become friends until a label party in New York. Then he offers you a job as his assistant.

Some after show tension occurs.

warnings: mild woes

...

Six hours until showtime. It is all hands on deck for everyone in the stage crew. Busy bodies move about the arena, putting together final touches for tonight’s performance. The tour is a little over thirty shows in. Since joining in the middle of it all, (Y/N) is finally starting to get the hang of things. Andrew made it clear that Shawn was her only priority, but with the new extra hours in the day, she tries to do for anyone on the team whenever she can.

She’s coming back from a local deli in the area with three paper bags full of food for Shawn and the band. Sandwiches for the band and salad for Shawn. A singer’s diet, though sometimes he’d cheat and get a small something dairy or doughy. They hardly ever request anything for lunch, but she always picked up something for them anyways, knowing they wouldn’t eat until much later.

As she walked down the sidewalk, she took note of the growing line of bubbly fans waiting out front. Every single one of them looked so sweet and pretty. A few girls wave to her as she passes by and she waves back.

After some time, she became closer and more at ease with the Mendes Army. A majority of them demanded that she make an account on Instagram to see her and Shawn interacting behind the scenes. Eventually, (Y/N) caved and made one separate from her personal profile one after about three days of them pushing Shawn about it. The account gained 100,000 followers in roughly two hours.

She cut through the alley to find the back door that leads to the main stage. It was really interesting to see the crew slowly build the set from the ground up every night. Earlier in the day, the sounds of metal barriers clanging and loud machinery filled the arena from top to bottom, but now it was mostly quiet aside from the well-practiced sound check from the band. Shawn and the guys were onstage doing last minute rehearsals. (Y/N) jogged across the general admissions floor, squeezing through the barrier to meet them stage left.

She hoisted the bags up onto the stage, peering over in silence as the guys practiced. Shawn was sat on the edge of the stage next to one of the larger amps, kicking his boots to the beat Mike was drumming. (Y/N) could tell from the baby blue guitar on his lap that they were running through “Nervous” again.

The musicians drop everything and run over to her in a huddle to claim their food. “I got you guys the fresh stuff. Fruit salads and some sub sandwiches.”

“Thank you, (Y/N)!”

“Yeah, thanks (Y/N).”

They each disperse to their own little corners. Shawn is still hunched over his guitar testing chords. (Y/N) saunters over to him, jostling a separate bag near his feet. “No tomatoes this time, Mendes,” she sings.

Shawn snaps back into reality again. The first thing he sees is (Y/N)’s proud, squinty smile. Last time she brought him a salad with the tiny tomatoes in it and he still hasn’t forgiven her completely. It’s become an inside joke for them.

He crosses his arms at her, giving a new definition to the muscle shirt he was sporting. “You sure there’s no tomatoes?”

“I’m absolutely positive. I checked six times on the walk back here. It's like 50% avocado.”

He slides his guitar safely behind himself and holds his hand out to her. (Y/N) takes secure hold of his wrist as her hauls her up on the stage with him in one swift motion. She watches intently as Shawn empties the contents of the paper bag. He briefly bumps his head into her shoulder, giving (Y/N)’s hand access to the tufts of hair falling on his forehead.

“Y’know, you don’t have to get us lunch if we don’t order anything,” he reiterates. “It only comes out of your pocket then.”

“I know, I know, but you guys workout in the morning and then keep moving, so you should all eat something. Besides,” she pinches his cheek, “you’re still a growing boy.”

“You sound like a mom.” Before he takes a bite, he asks, “What’re you going to eat?”

“Oh I filled up on free samples at the deli.” (Y/N) pats her belly. “I should be good until dinnertime.”

“Nice,” Shawn chuckles.

(Y/N) looks past his shoulder at all the guys chatting over their meals near center stage. “Don’t you want to eat with the other boys?”

“Ah, I’ve been around them all day. I haven’t seen you at all.”

(Y/N) refrains letting that last part go to her head. He didn’t mean it like that, even if a teensy part of her wishes he did.

“Well there’s always the time in hotels.”

Oddly enough, most of their hours were spent apart now. Shawn was either hard at work with the band and writers or catching up on sleep. (Y/N) often had errands to run when she wasn’t tending to Shawn. Even on the tour bus and flights, he needed those hours to rest.

Time in the hotels was the saving grace of this whole journey, Shawn always unabashedly requested to have the room next door to (Y/N) now. “For proximity purposes” he claimed, so that he might have her nearby in case he needs something. And although it may have started out that way, it quickly turned into late night talks and occasionally eating whatever singer-safe snacks (Y/N) could buy from local stores. It became their own little tradition.

“That reminds me,” Shawn says through a mouthful of sandwich, “what are we doing tonight?”

“Whatever you want to do,” (Y/N) mutters. She wasn’t really paying attention. Cez just sent her a text about the next flight details. She sort of zones out looking at the emails. Words become letters. Letters become squiggles. It’s hard to concentrate since the brush with Jason a few weeks ago. She was used to his empty threats but that was when she had leverage. Now she has nothing to hold him, not even shame.

Then Shawn nudges her elbow, but she hardly looks away from her phone.

“Huh?”

“We’re doing dinner later this evening. I know you don’t normally join but- hey are you okay? You look really pale.”

(Y/N) takes her time to meet his eyes. They appear to transition to a darker, more intimidating shade of brown. Her stomach does four backflips.

“Yeah just thinking. You know, assistant stuff. Listen, I gotta go.”

“Oh. Already?”

(Y\N) gets to her feet and dusts off the seat of her pants. “Yes, already. Is there anything else I can do for you before I go help set up the Q&A, sir?”

Shawn wags a finger at her. “What did I say about the ‘sir’ thing?”

“Sorry. Force of habit.”

He gets up too, wearing a smile so bright it’s blinding. A bright red blush tears through the pigment in his cheeks. He just wanted to keep talking to her as long as he could, waste no time. Unfortunately, he ends up thinking of the most basic question of all. “Thanks for the sandwich.”

She shrugs. “Just doing my job.”

...

Parents and young adults filed into the room, filling it with conversational buzz. (Y/N) peeked through a slit in the curtain at the little community that gathered there. One group of girls in the very front started singing “Never Be Alone”, prompting everyone else to join in. It was amazing to see the love and devotion among so many different looking people.

(Y/N) goes to collect Shawn from the green room. The clock on her phone read about ten minutes before he had to go greet everyone again. He’s in the middle of pulling up his jeans when she walks in.

“Oh you’re- I am so sorry.” She turns around and brings her hand over her eyes. Blood furiously rushes to her cheeks and ears.

“No no, you’re fine, come on in. Sorry, I’m almost done.”

She steps in with caution and focuses on the upbeat country track faintly pouring from Shawn’s phone. Travelling so closely together, (Y/N) was bound to see a few people at their less than decent. With Shawn though, it was starting to feel like he was doing this on purpose or just stopped caring altogether. She had no choice but to get comfortable with him.

“God, Shawn. Maybe put a sign outside next time so I know you’re naked.”

“I am not naked.” He glances at her. She’s propped herself against an end table, still shielding her eyes. “Geez, you act like you’ve never seen me in my underwear.”

“Don’t say underwear to me.”

“Would it help if I sang it?”

“No it would not-”

“Underwear,” he riffs. “Underwe-e-ear, yeah.”

“You’re so annoying,” she chuckles nervously with a slight shake of her head. He beams, proud of himself for yet again finding a new way to gently embarrass (Y/N).

He’s referring to the time she accidentally walked on Shawn in his dressing room. It was weeks ago, early on in a completely different city, but it was also burned into the back of her brain. That definitely broke some of the initial ice between them.

(Y/N) chooses the brick wall as something else to focus on. She hears his footsteps getting closer. Out of her peripheral, she can see Shawn’s shirt is still very unbuttoned and his chest is very exposed. He’s almost closed the space between them, leaving only a few inches of air between their bodies.

“You’re standing in front of my cologne,” he mutters.

“Oh.”

(Y/N) side steps out of his way. Shawn takes the bottle and sprays his neck and wrists, not once taking his eyes off of her. That is until he has to return to the other side of the room to button up his shirt. He leaves a couple buttons free at the top like always, then pays special attention to her reflection in the glass, holding his arms out. “How do I look?”

(Y/N) looks over at Shawn. He’s looking at her through the full length mirror mounted on the wall. She rolls her eyes.

“You know how you look.”

Shawn peers at her reflection, then bites his lip. (Y/N) pinches her wrists behind her back.

“Except for one thing,” she says. She takes notice of his lopsided collar and quickly adjusts it for him. Shawn’s breath hitches just barely. His hands are idle at his waist, not really doing anything, but clearly so desperately wanting to touch her. (Y/N) actively pretends to not notice the effect she seems to have on him.

But Shawn captures (Y/N)’s hand in his right before she pulls off, resting it on his shoulder. The fabric is hot underneath her palm. His whole body has become a furnace. He’s about to say something bold. Or stupid.

“(Y/N) I-”

A knock at the door propels Shawn and (Y/N) away from each other. Cez appears in the doorway.

“Oh you’re both in here,” he says with a playful smile. “You ready, Shawn?”

“Y-yeah,” Shawn makes a few more unnecessary tucks of shirt into his jeans. He turns back to (Y/N), “D’you want to come watch?”

“Uhm, I’ll be behind the curtain. I can see everything from there.”

Shawn understood, but he couldn’t help but feel a little dejected. (Y/N) tugs at his shirt around the waistline to loosen the fit again right before he goes out. “I’ll be right behind you, I promise,” she assures him. “If you need anything I will bring it to you.”

"Anything?"

"Right, almost anything."

Shawn smirks. "Just checking," he purrs.

They venture down the hall to the common area that was built in less than an hour. (Y/N) stops just short of where the dimly lit hallway ends and a room full of people begins. Screams and cheers replaced the chatter the minute Shawn set foot in the room. He can barely be heard greeting them over all the excitement. (Y/N) peeks through a sliver in the curtain.

“Before we start,” he begins. “What am I calling this city tonight?”

The room erupts again with all sorts of answers. Shawn singles out one girl in the front and everyone agrees.

“Okay then, um just one thing, if someone’s asking a question please don’t speak over them and speak loud so I can hear you. This is a big group today. Other than that, go crazy.”

Hands go up instantly. Shawn chooses from the back then from the left middle. On and on this goes for a few minutes and the fans ask the usual questions, fun or otherwise. (Y/N) allows herself to relax. Her mind just goes elsewhere.

She’s imagining the last day of the tour, sad as it makes her. Will she still be an assistant when it’s all over? What will have changed by then? She looks at nothing in particular down the makeshift hallway the team has made in the arena. Connor's messing with his camera settings. Cez is talking to a lighting tech. And like she always does in her free time, she zones out.

“Where’s (Y/N) right now?”

The voice, though small, came with a level of conviction that could only be from a small child. That was the demographic of (Y/N)'s fans. They liked seeing her on the street. She's even received a few drawings in past weeks.

Shawn wrestles with himself to give a straight answer. Then he makes the mistake of looking back at the curtain. People start to become restless.

“Guys, guys, I’m sure she’s busy right now. I don’t want to bother her.”

“I’m not that busy,” (Y/N) blurts impulsively, much louder than she meant to. Everyone erupts in chatter. She looks back at Connor, who has the camera aimed at her now. He was getting a shot between slit in the curtain but now the focus has shifted. She peeks her head out at all the fans and Shawn. A collective gasp captures them and they begin waving so she waves back. All the bright happy faces are reassuring enough.

“Do you want to come out,” Shawn whispers as quietly as he can. A few girls in the front overhear and squeak.

She widens her eyes at him. He knew what she was saying. You really want me to come out here? And the answer was a resounding yes, as indicated by a brisk wave of his hand. (Y/N) peeks her head out and all but recoils at the enthusiastic and sudden attention she receives. Then it all died down just as it quickly came.

“Hi, (Y/N),” says the same little voice that asked for her. Everyone in the aws.

“Hello,” she replies. “I remember seeing a few of you outside in the line. Sorry to interrupt.”

“She actually bought everyone lunch today during rehearsal even though I told her she doesn’t have to,” Shawn adds. Someone in the back goes “whoop” and the whole room is brimming with laughter and applause again.

“Okay I better go,” (Y/N) says immediately. “That’s enough fun for me.” She slips behind the curtain again, waving behind her as a few more people say goodbye.

Connor's snapping his viewfinder back into place behind her. He shares a look with her that can only be that

"Can I use any of that?"

"Sure, dude. It's your footage."

She says so each and every time he asks. Connor always made very sure to protect (Y/N)'s privacy when it came to recording her. If she was in the background of any video, he'd make sure to ask. It's what made him a great videographer.

He scurries away to whatever room holds his editing equipment. (Y/N) slides down to the floor, resting back on her heels so she can still see through the partition. Shawn's still somewhat rambling about her to his fans. It's interesting to hear what she is to him through his eyes. Often times she leaves the Q&A as soon as it's been set up. Under these special circumstances, she stays a while, hoping to learn something new.

…

It's evening. The hotel room is the neat chaos (Y/N) left it when she comes back. She learned several cities back never to spread out too much in these rooms after leaving a few chargers in the walls and drinks in the mini fridges.

"We'll go back and get it," Shawn said the first time it happened. "Can we turn around," he politely asked the driver.

"I'll answer that, no we will not," (Y/N) said firmly. "It's like two little bottles of kombucha. I'll live Shawn." It was never mentioned again.

He was always going out of his way for her. Everybody found it endearing, but (Y/N) didn't want him doing any special favors for her. Their relationship was special enough without grand gestures.

She fishes her planner out of the messenger bag on her bed to go over the next week at the hotel desk. Her sister's birthday is today. (Y/N) checks the timezone on her phone. There was still time to call.

The line rings for a while then cuts into an excited voice.

"Hey girl! Mom was wondering when you'd call. She's sleeping now."

(Y/N)'s heart drops to her stomach. "Bea I'm so sorry, I haven't said happy birthday to you all day. I feel awful."

"Aw you know I don't care about that shit. But bitch, Mom made this cake, you are missing out. I'm trying to save you some."

"I don't know if that slice will be edible by the time I get back, but thanks for the effort."

"You know I'm looking out for you around here." Bea sighs. "Girl I wish you were here. It's boring as hell with no one to tell my jokes. Or argue with."

(Y/N) smiles to herself. Bea always got bored by herself. They were lucky to grow up close in grade school, so they always had a playmate at recess or someone to talk to at lunch.

"What're you up to?"

"Same thing I was up to yesterday. Watching these Game of Thrones episodes."

"Did you make another fake HBO account?"

"Yep, but honestly a week is not enough for a free trial. Netflix gives you a whole month."

She goes on about her other temporary subscriptions. A knock comes at her door, the one joining her room to Shawn's.

"Hold that thought Bea. I think Shawn is going to ask me to come to dinner again."

"He what now?"

She swings the door open. "Not that kind, dumbass."

Shawn smirks at the little nickname, knowing right away it wasn't meant for him. Sure enough, he's dressed to go out.

"Your sister," he whispers. (Y/N) nods. "Hi Beatrice."

"Hi Shawn! I swear, only that man can make my full name sound good. Bitch, if you don't want him, I will gladly have some."

"I have never been more glad that he can't hear you," (Y/N) mutters. Shawn smiles downwards. He's only talked to Bea once before, so he can definitely imagine what she's saying.

"You're selfish, is what you are. The man clearly wants you and you're being your usual self."

"I'm ignoring you." (Y/N) directs her attention to Shawn's hopeful face. He’s propped himself against the door frame too, hands in his pockets. Between her waiting on his question, and him waiting for her to say no was a deafening silence.

"I know what you're going to ask,” she starts. “You know how I'll respond."

"Well in that case, I’m not going either," he says, undoing some buttons.

"He said what?!"

"I'm going to hang up on you," (Y/N) warns. She leans on the door frame as he sheds his shirt and shoes. "Shawn, you don't have to stay for me."

"I'm not," he says calmly. "Honestly, I’m doing this for me."

"If you don't let that man love you right now, idiot sister of mine-"

"Bea, I'll call you later. Happy Birthday."

(Y/N) taps the end call button. One last text comes through, almost too vulgar to read, so she shuts her phone off before Shawn can see it. He’s milling around his room, looking for comfortable clothes among the scattered ones.

“Shawn you don’t have to stay here on my account.”

“Well I’m not going to have any fun without you there.”

Shawn pulls his undershirt off over his head. Muscles in his back flex and relax as his arms go up and down. (Y/N) clears her throat, to which he doesn’t react. Tour life has made him so comfortable with clothing changes, he doesn’t always think twice with another person in the room. At the very least, he warns somebody when his pants are about to come off.

“That’s really unfair to everyone else, isn’t it?”

“Not in that way. I mean I’ll just be there the whole time wondering why-”

He stops himself short, ending with a mumble.

(Y/N) crosses her arms. “If this is your way of guilt tripping me or tricking me into saying yes-”

“It’s not,” he says, almost in a corrective way. “I wouldn’t do that to you. Don’t you know that?”

She doesn’t. She wasn’t sure of anything at all when it came to her employer’s intentions. People often cross you because that’s the nature of the business. Trust wasn’t something she gave so easily to someone with that much power over her. Normally, (Y/N) knew when to leave a job that no longer suited her, but Shawn has yet to give her a reason to run.

Shawn picks up a white t-shirt from his suitcase and slips it on. He doesn’t normally wear a shirt to sleep, but he wanted (Y/N) to feel as comfortable as possible. Although she’d never admit it out loud, he’s noticed how she gets around him shirtless. He sits down on his bed and beckons her to sit next to him. (Y/N) takes baby steps to his bedside and sinks into the soft sheets.

“You should at least tell Cez you’re not coming,” she insists.

“I already did.” Shawn waves his phone then sets it on the nightstand. “Right now, I need to talk to you.”

...

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