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#oh gods Thursday is so far away
exopelagic · 26 days
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why do applications feel like your soul is being lightly roasted at 180C
#I’m applying for. a thing that is very much a once in a lifetime opportunity. and I don’t know if I want to do it.#like I cannot overstate how huge this could actually be#the problem is I don’t know if I actually wanna do it. and I can’t tell if that’s for good or bad reasons#the worst part is I actually have a decent shot. it’s far from certain this is gonna be competitive as hell but I can Do This. theoretically#and on top of that my current boss and HIS boss have connections there that they said they would talk to. I didn’t ask. and I feel like I’m#gonna wither away into a tiny little ball and float off#i know that almost everything is gotten by connections now and I’m only HERE on the fucking poor kids scholarship already that’s why I have#this internship in the first place but oh my god. oh my god.#it’s a three year long thing. that’s so much time. and it’s so much work. it’s work I can do in theory and they’d help me but#god I don’t know how to feel abt this#it’s also a field which I’m definitely interested in but in a way where I’m not sure if I’m That interested yknow. but I think I also am?#I’m terrified that I won’t like it and I realise I don’t want it but get offered it and cannot turn it down bc of how big it is#genuinely the worst part of this is I have a shot. my boss’ boss recommended it to me and she’s fucking insane#I have the draft ideas for what I think is a decent application I just gotta write it but again. it feels like I’m dying.#but I gotta do it by Thursday and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#I’m terrified and I think it’s also something I can’t not put an application in for or I’ll regret it. so I’m going to do it scared.#I’m going to do it sososososo scared. like. literally had to stave off a panic attack at work after talking to my boss abt it today.#I haven’t had one of those in a while#if any of you are reading this and have the space to talk abt this rn pls text me i know I’m allowed but I didn’t wanna bug anyone rn#okay. it’s 10:30. I think I can let myself do this tomorrow. and I’m working from home so I will do it on the clock <3#for now I’m allowing myself to think abt dnd.#luke.txt
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jeoncasino · 1 month
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Prospects
⋆ †₊ 0.1
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Tired of life and all it had to bring for you, things take a turn when you find out two of your friends start to take a liking to you. With newfound emotions and a whole lot of drama, what happens when they start competing for your love?
Pairings: JJK x fem! reader [x KNJ]
Genre: college au, love triangle, friends to lovers, fluff, angst, slow burn, eventual smut.
Tags: rich! jjk, law student! jjk, dark hair! jjk, sweet! jjk, jealous! jjk, needy! jjk, obsessed! jjk, but also dom! jjk, slightly toxic! jjk, english major! knj, boy bsf! knj, co-worker! knj, husband material! knj, brown hair! knj, sweet! knj, jealous! knj, sad knj:(, pet names, everything’s so complicated and everyone’s in denial, jk's love language is physical touch and acts of service, jk has mommy issues so he's too attached to oc, joonie is so sweet i feel bad for him, gguk will try everything in his power to make oc his, ggukkie lowkey hates joonie lol, this is an actual slow burn yay!
Warnings: mentions of drug use.
⋆ †₊ Series Masterlist
Minors do not interact.
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Smoke surrounds you. For a moment, the noises and lights from the party, once a chaotic blend, seperate distinctly. Each sound creates its own frequency, each beam of light cutting through the haze in sharp lines. Everything around you slows down, the moment captivating you in a trance that would otherwise not been achieved without smoking a certain plant.
Elaine, your best friend, who was sitting to your left, seems to be talking to you. You can't quite grasp what she's saying, but she leaves shortly afterward, leaving you alone in the beautiful backyard of this otherwise dirty frat house. You really were avoiding going inside—the floors were sticky, and it smells funky. Honestly, you didn’t even want to be there. Frat parties aren’t your thing. But Elaine, in apparent need of de-stressing (though later confessing she just wanted to see her latest infatuation, Zia), had dragged you out on a Thursday night. You thought about getting mad and leaving, but she’s your best friend—and every guy here looks like they’d spike her drink—so you stayed. Plus, she bought you a blunt, so it evened out.
As you gazed at the dark-glowing canvas of the night sky, you felt a presence beside you. Skeptically, you glanced to your right, only to find a man staring at you. You jumped.
“Oh my god?” you gasp, eyes wide, hand over your heart.
The guy laughs, clearly amused by your reacton. Trying to figure him out, you took a look at him. He wore a loose white shirt and baggy jeans. Dark hair framed his face. Two rings pierced the right side of his mouth, his right arm covered in tattoos. Honestly, you felt intimidated—frat parties drew all kinds of people, you know? But when you finally met his eyes, the softness of his gaze made him seem far more approachable then you originally thought.
“Will you quit staring?” He teased.
Your cheeks burned. “Oh please, I’m on drugs,” you muttered, looking away, “Don’t flatter yourself.”
“Oh, I know. Thought I’d join you on your trip.”
Confused, and extremely thirsty, you asked, “Who are you?”
“Seriously?” He replied, somewhat annoyed. “Jeon Jeongguk. We share a class—U.S History with Mrs. Webster,” He paused, anticipating an answer. He met silence. “No?”
You sighed. “Look, I’m sorry, but I’m too high to remember anyone from that class.” Thinking it over, you added, “Seriously, though, I don’t think I’ve ever talked to you.”
And that’s because you hadn’t. Jeongguk, though quite popular, found himself completely partner-less tonight. He didn’t like being alone, so when he spotted you, high and alone, he thought he’d try his usual trick with you—pretending he knew you from somewhere. It usually worked.
Not today though. At your response, he was utterly offended. Did you seriously not know who the Jeon Jeongguk was? Even he recognized you—the sharing a class part not being a lie—so it made no sense. Although, he didn’t know your name either, so maybe you did know him, just not his name, and the drugs are clouding him from your memory.
Yeah, he thought, it’s definitely the drugs. “Did you know marijuana causes memory issues?”
You snorted. “Just say you’re offended.”
He shrugged. “What’s got you all alone out here?”
“My horny friend, I guess.” You turn to face him. “You?”
“I was taught to never leave a pretty girl like you alone,”
“Okay, Mr. Charming, please be serious.”
He laughed. “My friends ditched me too.”
“Hm,” You didn’t know what else to say. Usually, you were good at small talk, but you were literally in cloud nine and too thirsty to properly think. “Do you mind getting me some water? I’ve got cotton mouth and don’t want to go inside.”
“It smells wierd doesn’t it?” He scrunched his nose as he replied. You nodded. “I’ll be right back.”
Many chit-chat’s and half a bottle of wine later—Jeongguk found it somewhere in the frat—you both bid goodbye with teary eyes and warm embraces, somehow convinced you’d never see each other again after this party. Both of you not letting go, Elaine and his friends have to literally pry you guys apart, causing everyone to fall comically like dominoes.
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Attempting to open your eyes you rubbed them, immediately closing them as the morning sun assaults your vision. What even happened yesterday? Your head pounded, nausea swirled in your gut. You felt horrible. Trying to go back to sleep, you turned in your bed, feeling the dreaded build-up of saliva once you layed on your side. Uh-oh.
You rushed to your bathroom just in time.
“Elaine?” you half-yelled, wiping your mouth with your hand muffling your voice.
No response. You stumble out of your room and head for the kitchen. There, your find an already-ready best friend cooking god-knows-what.
Looking up at you, she said, “Good morning, Mrs. Jeon,” her tone dripping with mockery.
“What? Mrs. Jeon?” Confused, you try to piece together last night’s events, but it’s no use. Panicking, you exclaimed, “Oh my God, Elaine, what happened yesterday?!”
She looked at you unimpressed. “Oh, nothing much. Just that you and Jeongguk were all over each other yesterday!”
“Jeon who?” You asked.
“Be so serious right now,” She couldn’t believe you. “Y/n, he’s like, super well-known around campus. Rich as hell and a jerk.” She added, “Cheated on Jayla, rejected me when you bet me to hit on him for five dollars.” Elaine huffed with her arms crossed.
Recalling how hilarious that day was, you laughed so hard your headache worsened tenfold. “I might die if I keep laughing,” you stuttered, gripping the kitchen counter for dear life. “Is that why you don’t like him?”
“This isn’t funny! You guys made fools of yourselves last night. I genuinely thought he laced your drink.”
Drink. The word triggers flashes of last night—Jeongguk approaching you, him bringing you water, a bottle of wine somehow appearing in your hands. Blood drained from your face as you remembered how you parted ways—throwing yourself into his arms, him not letting go, literally shedding tears as Elaine dragged you out of the frat’s backyard.
You’ll make sure to never drink again after this.
“Elaine, did I really—”
“Yes, Y/n, you did! Do you know how embarrassing that was? Don’t even get me started on the reputation you just gained yourself.”
“What are you talking about?”
“All his closest friends were there,” she said, serving her plate with freshly cooked eggs. “They thought you guys fucked or something.”
“Ew?”
“Did you really?” The question almost offended you.
“Stop! God, no, obviously not,” you shuddered. “Just because we hugged?”
“No, because Jeon fucks everything he touches,” she replies matter-of-factly. “He also got a little possessive, he wouldn’t let go.”
“Of me?”
“Yeah, we all fell to the ground because y’all wouldn’t budge. My biceps are sore, no joke.”
You slumped against the counter, hiding your face in disbelief. “Wait so, now people think I’m easy?”
“Yes. Now let’s just hope the rumor didn’t spread outside the frats,” she said, walking out of the kitchen with her plate full of eggs. “People were watching, you know? I almost left you there with that whore. Anyway, you better get ready—your first class starts in 20.”
You sprint to your room.
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“Thanks for saving me a spot.”
Namjoon lifted his backpack from the seat next to him as you slid into it, placing your own bag on the floor.
“No worries, buns,” he said, noticing your wet hair immediately. “Were you in a rush this morning?”
“Tell me about it,” you muttered, rubbing your temples.
“Did you have a night shift yesterday? I don’t recall scheduling you late this week.”
“No, it’s just that Elaine dragged me to this party and I—” You stopped yourself. Were you really going to expose your half-secret to Joonie out in the open? Nuh-uh. “I’m just so hungover. Let’s talk later. Focus on class.”
Although curious as to what happened last night that got you this flustered, Namjoon chose to not push the subject, both of you focusing now on whatever the professor was droning about.
You liked that he always walked you to class. Obviously if his class was far or if he got busy he wouldn’t, but for the most part he did. You found it chivalrous, a trait that most men nowadays lacked. That’s why you liked Namjoon—he was friendly but polite, not shy to ask about your personal life but never stepping any boundaries. Not to mention his other great qualities, like how intelligent or hard working he is. You both had gotten originally close through Yeyo’s café—he trained and guided you along the harsh path of being a first-time barista—and having worked most shifts together, you became each other’s favorite co-worker, mingling whenever and hanging outside of work at times. At these occasional dates, the both of you learnt you shared similar struggles, like not having anyone support you financially or having complicated relationships with your families. All these things made relating to him easier. He never failed to make you laugh or help you see the good in the bad, and for him you were grateful.
Now you’re here—two months later, at the same university—him walking you to class while you complained about the workload your professor just assigned.
“I mean is he kidding? Not everyone has free time like him. I’ve got work!”
“I think his wife’s divorcing him or something,”
You gasp. “Wait, really?”
“Yeah,” he chuckled at your reaction. “You know the professor’s assistant?”
“Oh, the one who wants you?” you teased with a grin, wiggling your eyebrows playfully.
Namjoon elbowed you gently. “Stop it,” he muttered. You laughed at his flustered expression.
“Anyway,” he continued, eager to change the subject, “the other day, I stayed after class to ask her for some extra points, but she got off track and started telling me all sorts of things about him.”
“Like what?” you asked, leaning into him with interest.
“Why do you sound excited?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Don’t act like you don’t indulge in professor drama,” you retorted, crossing your arms.
Namjoon chuckled. “You’re cute when you’re mad.”
“I’m not mad,” you shot back, avoiding his gaze.
“Then why won’t you look at me?” he teased.
“Okay, fine! Just tell me what she said, please,” you pouted, grabbing onto his arm, feeling the firmness of his muscles. You knew that whenever you did this, he’d give in—like that one time at the fair when you’d been so thirsty you begged for a water bottle that cost him twenty bucks.
He sighed, giving in as expected. “Well, according to her, his wife wanted a Chanel bag, but the professor wouldn’t buy it for her. Then, she thought he was having an affair, so she looked through his things, but she found out he lied about how much money he’d inherited, so now she’s filing for divorce.”
“Gosh, I almost feel bad for him,” you said, the corners of your mouth lifting. “Almost.”
“Meanie,” Namjoon grinned and squeezed your nose.
“Hey! Stop, you’re—” About to punch him for ruining your makeup, he darted away as fast as he could.
“I’ll kill that motherfucker,” you muttered, opening the door of your next class.
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“And I was like, are you dumb?” Elaine exclaimed through the phone.
After your last class, you decided you’d stop by the nurse’s office to get something that would soothe your headache, when you recieved a call from your best friend. Though spontaneous calls weren’t surprising, what she had just informed you was.
Apparently, she met up earlier with Zia, who had the audacity to ask her if she found it embarrassing to have a friend who had slept with Jeongguk. And obviously, her being the bestest, most protective friend ever, denied the rumors going around the frats in attempt of clearing your name.
As you walked out of the nurse’s office and into the bustling campus, she continued, “And I swear, in that moment, I was about to punch her. I mean, I always knew Zia was a little dense, but this? Ugh, it’s infuriating! I don’t even know why we fucked anymore.” She sighed heavily.
You found a bench under a large oak tree and sat down, needing to process everything. You’d been too busy with classes to think much about the previous night’s events, but now, with the day’s tasks behind you, the anxiety started creeping back in.
“Did you guys actually fuck yesterday?” you asked, leaning back against the bench.
“No, we had literally just fucked at the sorority, when she started asking dumb ass questions,” Elaine huffed. “I think I’m never finding love.”
“Don’t say that, E,” you replied, rubbing your temples. “You’ll figure it out, don’t worry.”
Elaine’s voice softened. “How are you holding up, though? I’m sorry for everything. I can’t help but feel responsible,” she added, and you could practically see her pouting on the other end of the line.
You took a deep breath. “Honestly, I was too busy this morning to even care, but now that I have time to think, I kind of just want to hide from everyone.”
“I’m sorry. I love you, okay? Don’t forget that.”
“I love you more.”
“Well I got to go, I’ll see you back at the apartment.”
Listening to the ring which notified the call was over, you finally had some time to process everything. Trying to find where you went wrong, the most controversial thing that happened all night was the fact that you were hanging out with… Jeongyeo? Or was it Jeongyu? Uh, you’ll make sure to ask Elaine later. Anyways, you saw no harm from having an innocent chat with him. All you did was drink with a rich frat college guy— and basically cry to each other but that was too embarrassing to even think about—so your ever crumbling reputation made no sense. You guys didn’t fuck, most certainly didn’t kiss, and by now the guy should’ve cleared the rumors, so why were they making such a fuss over it?
It was all so childish. Yet, despite your attempts to rationalize it, your stomach churned, your hands grew clammy, and your mind raced with anxiety. Every passerby seemed to stare at you with judgmental eyes.
You sighed deeply. This felt like high school all over again. You had to pull yourself together. If these people wanted to make a fuss over nothing and use you as their entertainment, then so be it. You had bigger things to worry about—like paying your bills or pursuing a career. So, with that, you decided to push the drama to the back of your head and refocus on what really mattered, finally finding peace once again in your mind.
And at peace you were.
At least that was the case until you got back home, because as soon as you walked into the apartment, Elaine rushed over, breaking the news to you. “Y/n, you won’t believe this. That miserable old landlord is raising our rent!”
You blinked, trying to process the new discovery. “What? Why?”
“I don’t know,” Elaine threw her hands up in frustration. “I begged him to exclude us from the raise, but he wouldn’t budge. He said it’s either pay up or move out.”
Trying your hardest not to kill him right now, you paused. What were you going to do now?
Trying to keep an optimistic outlook, you replied, “Look, I know it’ll be hard, but we can do this. Let’s just take extra shifts at work and start looking for an affordable place to stay at.”
She wasn’t sure about your proposition. You both worked long hours as is, not to mention how time consuming and disrupting it was for school.
“Y/n, we barely get to sleep some days,” Elaine said so lowly it was almost a whisper. Finding the situation impossible, she added, “I’m dropping out.”
You scoffed, “Are you crazy? You’re not doing that,”
“What else is there to do Y/n?” She frowned.
Lips pursed, you racked your brain trying to come up with a solution. Dropping out was not an option, and if keeping your education meant being homeless, then so be it. You both had a car, so maybe you guys could sleep there until you found a new place. And if you had to shower, you could probably just ask Namjoon if-
“Oh my god! Namjoon!” You yelled as you reached for your phone.
“What? Y/n what are you doing?”
Dialing Namjoon’s number, you replied with a smile on your face, “Pack your stuff, we’re crashing Joonies place.”
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Author: pls this took me long enough to post and im not sure i even like it lmfoaoaoa. nobody told me how hard and time consuming this was. anyways yall if it sucks LMK ! i’ll make sure to burn this post down if it sucks ass. shout out to anyone who finished reading the first chapter of this series ! omm ilysm. i’ll also try to comment the people who wanted to be added to my taglist, hopefully it works. bye !
This is a work of fiction. The scenes, characters and events depicted are purely fictional and not intended to represent real-life procedures or individuals. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Do not use this story as your own.
@jeoncasino 2024 ©
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perfect dimensions
(Carmy x Designer!Reader)
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Summary: The Bear is weeks from opening, and Sugar hires an interior designer to bring the vision to life. Part 1/3.
Warnings: cursing, WILL contain smut later 👀NO use of Y/N because this is the 21st century. Carmy x female!reader, reader is described as having longer hair but that’s it for physical descriptions. NOT EDITED because I’m lazy girl tehe
—————————MINORS DNI——————————
“I hired a designer,” Natalie tells them in passing on Thursday, waving a vague hand when both Syd and Carmy open their mouthes to ask, “She’ll be here in like, twenty minutes.”
“Okay, heard, but we already have a design,” Carmy says, gesturing to the wall covered in layouts.
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you had a degree in architecture and engineering. Those are fake dimensions, Bear; we don’t know shit about anything, so someone is going to come in and make sure that we’ve got the right fucking shade of white!” Natalie shouts before the office door slams shut, leaving Syd and Camry to stare after her with equal confusion.
“Pregnancy is making her…” Syd starts to say.
“Mean?”
“Yeah, mean. Definitely a little mean,” Sydney sighs, “She’s right though. Vibe doesn’t get us to opening night.”
And that’s how Carmen finds himself stuttering through an introduction from a now much-more-pleasant Natalie when she shows a woman through the front doors.
Carmen extends his hand to you, clearing his throat, nodding like a fucking idiot when you tell him your name.
“Yeah,” he says, “I’m uh, I’m Carmen.”
“Nice to meet you,” you say, mouth spreading into a smile that makes his heart beat a little faster. “Walk me through?”
Natalie takes the lead while Carmy and Syd hang back. One glance at the look on his partner’s face should have sent Carmy scrambling for something else to do, but he’s not fast enough to remove himself from her presence before a laugh is bubbling from between her closed lips and he’s desperately hoping his face isn’t turning red.
“Im, uh, Carmen,” Syd lowers her voice in a mocking tone.
“Fuck right off,” Carmy shakes his head at her.
“You literally forgot your name!”
“I didn’t forget my fuckin’ name—“
“Like oh my god, a pretty girl with pretty eyes appears and you forget how to talk!”
“Are you done?”
“Absolutely not. I can’t wait for Richie to meet her.”
Carmen wishes the day would never come.
Ten minutes later you appear back in the dining room, Fak following close behind with a shit-eating grin that makes Carmy wish he had never gotten out of bed this morning.
“Carmy! Did you know she likes to bake?”
“No, Fak, we’ve only just met. Would you let her do her job?” Carmen sighs, rubbing his fingers into his eyes to stop an oncoming headache. Syd snorts.
“We’ll chat more later, Neil, I promise,” you say.
“You might have just made yourself a new best friend,” Syd laughs.
Carmy looks away the moment your eyes swivel over to his, trying to disguise that he’s staring as best he can.
“So,” you say, “Natalie said you had drawings. May I see?”
Camry’s fingers itch in a weird way, but he manages a nod before striding over to his backpack to pull out the notebook while you scan the wall of swatches and inspiration photos. You nods your head a little, like you’re concocting an idea.
Carmy wants to twirl a finger through the strand of hair hanging loose out of your updo.
“So, uh, this is what I’ve come up with so far.”
He then spends the next ten minutes walking you through each of the drawings, explaining himself a little too thoroughly, and making random comments about lighting and booth fabric. You look intent the whole time, brow furrowed at the page, occasionally pointing and you don’t even have to say anything—Carmy just starts to over explain immediately following the point of your painted fingernail.
When he’s done, you nod your head slowly, the corner of your mouth twitching up. You’re wearing some sort of lipstick that reminds Carmy of the stain of touching a cherry pit.
“These are amazing,” you say finally, and Carmy feels his face heat. “I like the vibe. I love the vibe, actually. Are you a sensitive person?”
You look up at him and Carmy short-circuits.
Syd says yes, at the exact time he says no.
“Conflicting signals,” you say, “Anyone else to weigh in?”
It takes a second for him to realize that you’re making a joke, and he has to shake himself out of a stupor caused completely by the sight of your smile.
“Uh, no, no I’m good. Gimme feedback,” he says, and you reach out to flip the pages back, landing on the entry.
“Great. I’m going to tell you what we need to fix,” you say, straight to the point. “This entry is too small. Either we need to extend out into the sidewalk, or we need to push the kitchen back by at least five or six feet. The bar is going to create a bottleneck right here, and we need to inset these shelves to give you a little more working room. The lighting here needs to be sconces, and the bathroom doors need to slide to maximize space—this is too small for a swinging door.”
Carmen is fully intent on taking in every word you’re saying, but out of the corner of his eye he can’t help but see Syd’s face transform into something mildly resembling devious.
“Heard,” Carmy says, nodding his head as you looks back up. “Let’s rock.”
——————————————————————————
You become a fixture in Carmy’s life in the same way that Sydney or Richie or Nat are, appearing every time he turns the corner and whispering a hello in passing before you start barking orders to the contractors who listen to your every word. Strangely, he can relate. A week ago you told him, Carmen, please decide which side of the bar you want the ice machine on, and do it quickly so I can tell the water guy when he gets here. He’s never made a decision so fast in his life.
Even Nat had popped an eyebrow when he replied, on it, before you’d even really finished your sentence.
Usually, he’s on autopilot—walking in and straight back to the office or the kitchen and hardly ever stopping to notice what’s going on. He’s the first one in and the last one out by design, so he doesn’t even see everyone else arrive until they’re already there.
This morning, though, Carmy walks into the kitchen to see you already there, writing something out in a notebook as Natalie talks, waving her hands wildly.
“Okay, I got you,” you’re saying only glancing up when Carmy’s shoes shuffle too loudly on the floor. “Oh! Good, you’re here. I need you.“
Carmy raises his eyebrows. “Need me?”
“To look at paint swatches,” you say, ushering him into the main dining area. The words ring in his head like bells as he follows you, the scent of your perfume surrounding him as he walks through the crowd of it. You smells so good, and it reminds him of New York City somehow, the faint scent of rain.
He figures that you must have come in even earlier than he and Natalie both, because you’re dressed more casually than usual, and there’s a charm necklace dangling over your tee shirt that he tries to identify when you turn without you realizing he’s staring. He makes out a paintbrush and nothing else.
“Right, so,” you start, gesturing to the wall. There’s a beat of silence with them both staring at the three swatches on the wall, and then Carmy turns towards you.
Your words overlap.
Carmy says, “I hate them.”
At the same moment, you say, “They’re horrible, right?”
Carmy laughs, shaking his head. “Yeah, yeah, not it.”
“Okay, so hear me out.” You say, leaving his side to pull something from your folder. “Pink.”
“Pink?”
“Like, oyster shell pink. Neutral enough that in the low light it’ll look pale, almost indiscernible from white. And this wall—“ you point to the back where the booths will be and shake your head. “Has to be a mural. It’ll look unfinished if it’s bare.”
Carmy nods along with everything that you say, trying to envision it. “What kind of mural?”
You tilt your head, chewing at your lip. Carmy completely short-circuits for an embarrassingly long second.
“I might have some ideas,” you say in a soft voice, crossing over to the table where you’ve set your things and pulling out a black sketchbook.
“Two artists in residence, huh?” Carmy jokes, his stomach fluttering when you smile.
“Do you draw anything other than food and restaurant interiors?” You ask.
“Sometimes.”
“Sometimes,” you repeat, looking up at him. He knows that you want him to elaborate—he would never admit out loud that he spends the hours he’s not cooking trying to replicate the way your necklace hangs off of your neck and the curve of your wrist.
Occasionally he doesn’t do weird, obsessive, borderline creepy things—sometimes he sketches the buildings outside his window as the sun goes down, or tries to remember what the boat in Copenhagen looked like, or that one place he used to drink coffee at in New York.
Your eyes narrow at him just a little, like you’re trying to read all the things he’s not saying.
He dips his head, half to look at the page you’ve opened the notebook to and half to get out from under the scrutiny of your pretty eyes.
“That’s insane,” Carmy finds himself saying, looking down at the waves of color on the page. “It looks like, almost like wood? Or marble. That’s—fuck, that’s so cool.”
The page is covered in shades of brown and deep green and black, melding together into something that reminds him of tree rings or stained wood panels, muted like an old chinoiserie river painting.
“You could hire someone to change it out seasonally maybe, it’d be cool, but I think something like this would look nice with the color of the wood we picked for the tables—“
“Will you do it?” Carmy asks, fingertips tracing over the edge of the paper and coming away brushed with color—oil pastels. “Could you, I mean, I wouldn’t trust anyone else to do it like this.” He tells you, rubbing the tips of his fingers together and watching the color meld together before meeting your eye.
Your mouth is parted, eyes wide as you look at him, and he gets the urge to flick your bottom lip to see if it’s as soft as it looks.
“I,” you start to say, “Yeah. I can do it. If you want me to.”
“I do,” he says, too quickly. “Want you to. Paint it.”
Because what else would he be asking you to do? He wants to throw his entire brain into the blender on high.
“Okay,” you say, “I’ll start tomorrow.”
He makes a mental note to make sure he’s there all day to peer through the windows and watch you work.
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swordsandholly · 2 months
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Should I start working on this College AU rugby player Soap x art history major (sort of low self-esteem) reader again?
I’ve been thinkin’ about it. Their story haunts me. Anyway here’s a snippet for you to judge:
You sit in the common grounds on an old, tattered quilt under one of the oaks. You managed to score a good spot today, just enough sun to be warm but not enough to force you to squint. The tree curves in that perfect shape for you to lean back against it. You’ve settled into your millionth re-read of Howl’s Moving Castle. A go to when college gets too hard for your brain and you need something easy to digest. Like saltines on a sick stomach.
A faint call of, “Bonnie!” jerks you from the quiet of your moment. Oh, God. Johnny comes jogging up from a group of his fellow rugby players. If only the way he smiles at you didn’t direct all of your attention onto him, maybe you could have gotten away with pretending not to see or hear him.
As it is, you totally can. You push your sunglasses up onto the top of your head and pluck out an earphone just to sit up on your elbows. “Johnny.”
All six foot of the man comes plunking down onto the grass beside you. “I don’ get tae see ye around campus often. Feels like I havennae seen ye in forever.”
“I work a lot.” You repeat. Why couldn’t the gods gift you with at least moderate conversational skills? “It’s only been, like, four days. You weren’t in class yesterday.”
He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. “Aye… Might have, eh, partaken a bit too much…”
You snort. “As long as you weren’t drinking and driving.”
“I would never.” The response is immediate, his tone unrecognizably dark. A sore spot.
“I’ll give you the notes.” You tilt your head back, changing the subject quickly. The shadows move and the sun begins to encroach upon your spot. It’s nice, actually.
“Ye donnae have tae-”
“I don’t mind.” You wave him off. “We can go over them on study night.”
A loud whistle and a holler echo from the other side of the lawn. Johnny’s buddies are all grouped up, staring. Well, the ones that aren’t actively being distracted by pretty girls are. Your eye meets with the man in the mask, staring each other down for a very brief moment. A shiver runs down your spine as he turns away. Two of the others lean in, snickering while they watch the two of you. It makes your chest hurt in a far too familiar way.
“I think your boys are calling.” You turn back to look at Johnny.
“Och, they can wait.” He shrugs those wide shoulders. Has he gotten bigger recently? “Whit are ye readin’?”
“Oh, nothing, just some kids book…” Before you can tuck it away he snatches it up, flipping it over to the back.
“My sisters read this! They watched the movie a lot. S’about tha’ girl who gets swept off her feet by a dashing wizard, eh?” He grins and leans in. “Remind ye of anybody, bonnie?”
You sit up and scoff, snatching the book back. “Fancy yourself dashing, MacTavish?”
“On occasion.” He winks.
You roll your eyes and mock gag. The man sure lays it on thick. “Well if you read the book you’d know he’s a whiny little brat, so, frankly, yes, it does remind me of a certain somebody.”
Johnny pouts dramatically, only further proving your point. “Got a sharp tongue on ye, hen.”
“It comes in handy.” You chuckle.
“God, I’d be so good to ye.” He says so fast you almost miss it as he grins wide.
You splutter out an awkward laugh, caught entirely off guard. The words sting a bit. He’s joking, obviously. It’s a little cruel. Uncharacteristically so.
Another shout has Johnny rolling his eyes and standing up. “I’ll see ye Thursday?”
“Thursday…” You nod, eyes still wide. You’re sure you look ridiculous.
Mr. Johnny-Sees-All grins back at you with a knowing spark in his eye. “Later, hen!”
381 notes · View notes
theemporium · 1 year
Note
What about... Pining and yearning driver (doesn't matter who he is tbh) but in reality he's just stupidly in love and doesn't realize reader is also in love with them 😭 happy ending of course <3
thank you for requesting!🖤
.
“You’re glaring.” 
“No, I’m not.” 
“Yes, you are.” 
“No, I’m not.” 
“Mate, she’s his assistant. Stop planning his murder,” Lando grumbled, though the amusement was clear on his face. He was enjoying each and every second of this.
It wasn’t uncommon for Max to find him in the McLaren motorhome on a Thursday afternoon, especially if they knew they would be in a conference together. The Dutchman would most likely just spend time catching up with his friend, laughing and joking about before they would be guided to the interview by their PR teams. 
However, more recently than not, Lando was starting to notice that Max was showing up to the McLaren motorhome for a different reason. A reason that had everything to do with the fact the motorhome beside the papaya orange team was none other than the Ferrari one. And Max had his eye on a certain member of the Ferrari team. 
You. 
You, who was Charles’ assistant. You, who was currently standing outside the Ferrari motorhome with your boss and his teammate. You, who currently had your hands on Charles’ chest as you tried to smooth out his team polo as best as you could. 
Not that Max cared. Not at all. He had no reason to care and he certainly didn’t. Or at least, that was what he was telling himself.
“You know,” Lando continued when the Dutchman had fallen silent. “Charles was telling me he thinks she has a crush on a driver.” 
Max’s head whipped around. “What?”
“Yeah,” Lando shrugged casually. “Apparently she admitted it when she was drunk.” 
“Who is it?” Max asked almost immediately.
Lando grinned. “Why do you care?”
“I don’t.” he retorted defensively. 
“Right,” the Brit laughed before patting him on the back. “God, you are so easy to wind up.”
“Lando,” Max grumbled. “Name.”
“Huh? Oh, it must have slipped my mind,” Lando sighed before shifting the conversation onto something else. 
But it didn’t leave his mind. It couldn’t leave his mind. Instead, Max spent the whole press conference wondering who the driver was. He racked his brain on who he saw you interacting with, who he had seen you hanging around more often than the others. 
The obvious answers were either one of the Ferrari drivers. But you had always insisted you viewed Charles as a brother, yet that didn’t cross Carlos off the potential list. He wondered if it was either of the McLaren drivers, or maybe even Daniel, his own teammate. He wondered maybe if it was one of the drivers he wasn’t as close to on the grid, that maybe you hung out with them for more than he realised. 
His answers during the conference were short, blunt and distracted and everyone noticed. 
You had been standing off to the side, phone in hand as you answered a few emails here and there whilst Charles dealt with his media duties. However, your attention was quickly pulled away from your work when you heard the Dutchman speak. And then, you were distracted by your own concern for him when you realised how off he was acting. 
You had waited until the end of the conference before you approached him, a sheepish smile on your face when you realised he was far too lost in thought to even realise you were beside him. You placed your hand on his arm, causing the boy to jump slightly and you quickly pulled your hand back.
“I’m sorry,” you apologised with a smile. “Are you okay?”
Max blinked. “What?”
“Are you okay?” you repeated as you wrapped your arms around yourself. “You seem really off today.”
“Uh, yeah,” he muttered, a crease forming between his brows. “Just have a lot on my mind.”
“Anything I can help with?” 
Deep down, Max knew you were probably only asking to be polite. He knew you probably expected him to just shake his head and say no so you could run off to help Charles like you should have been doing, rather than standing there talking to him. But the question was plaguing his mind, and who better to give him an answer than you?
“Do you like one of the drivers?” he blurted out.
You blinked, slightly surprised. “What?”
“Do you like one of the drivers?” he asked again, his eyes never leaving yours. “Lando says you did.”
“He did?” you questioned, your voice a little high-pitched and you hoped the Dutchman couldn’t tell your face was burning up. “I wonder where he got that from—-”
“Charles told him,” Max told you.
And you cursed your boss for opening his mouth.
“I…might,” you muttered shyly.
“Who is it?” 
“Max—”
“I won’t tell him,” he continued, pretending like the idea of you saying one of his friend’s names wouldn’t make his stomach churn uncomfortably. “I could even help you if you want—”
“No, Max, it’s you,” you interrupted, your nails digging into your palm as you blurted out the words. “You’re the driver.”
Max nodded once but stayed silent.
You instantly wanted the world to open up and swallow you whole. You cleared your throat, taking a step back as you tried to pretend the embarrassment of his blatant rejection wasn’t making you want to curl into a hole and never come out.
“I’m sorry, I should just—” you started but Max quickly intervened.
“Do you want to get dinner with me?” 
You blinked at him. “Dinner?”
“Yes, with me,” Max continued. “Tonight. Or tomorrow night. Whenever it works for you.”
“I—” you paused, letting out a breath as you smiled at him. “I would like that.”
Max didn’t bother hiding the small smile on his face. “Yeah?” 
“Yeah,” you said and nodded. “I’ll message you when I’m free.”
“I’ll be waiting,” he said, watching as you headed back towards the Ferrari garage, a weight having been lifted off his chest as he watched you go. He couldn’t even deny the butterflies in his stomach as he thought about your message.
Max was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t even see Lando approaching his side, grinning wide like a madman.
“I knew you liked her!”
“Shut up.” 
“Max and—”
“Fuck off, Norris.”
“Sitting in a tree–”
“You know what, you can get your own plane home.”
.
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chiaraanatra · 3 months
Text
Lavender Girl
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Summary: JJ was never one to believe in fate but one chance encounter may have him changing his mind. (Or the one where JJ helps Kook!reader through a panic attack and neither one of them can get the other off their mind.)
Warnings: vague descriptions of a panic attack, reader is an anxious wreck, reader tends to bite the skin on her fingers when anxious (don't mind me and my self-inserts), swearing feelings of distrust on JJ's part, nick-/pet names (pretty girl, lavender girl). one use of Y/N.
WC: 2.1k
AN: I'm not sure what this is or where its going! If anyone has any ideas/would like a part two let me know! I hope you like!
Song: Loosely based on Lavender Girl by Caamp
《 m.list || ao3 》
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JJ POV
Why do I do this to myself?
Are pity tips from old ladies worth it?
This stupid getup is bad enough, let alone having to wait hand & foot on these fucking Kooks.
Do these people have nothing better to do on a Thursday morning than sit around bitching and drinking mimosas?
JJ made my way back inside, empty tray under his arm. Thank god it was nice out. It meant that the main bar inside the club was completely empty, giving him a minute of peace away from out-of-touch members of 'high society'.
Or so he thought…
When he turned the corner, he was met with soft sobs and lavender fabric pooled delicately on the floor under the bar. "Um… You okay…?" He didn't want to be rude, but heavy emotions weren't exactly his specialty, and he didn't have much experience with girls crying on the floor. At least not like this...
“Oh God, I'm so sorry…" you mumbled.
You looked up at him with teary eyes and in that moment, JJ was sure he had never been met with a more beautiful sight. Even glossed with tears, JJ was positive he had never looked into eyes as clear as yours. He watched as you scrambled to wipe away the tears that were still spilling over and mask the sounds of sniffling.
"Hey, hey, hey, you're okay." JJ set down the tray and crouched to be at eye level with you. "Wha's gotcha so upset? Far too pretty to be crying like that…" His last statement was barely above a whisper, brought into existence before JJ even knew he was saying it.
You glanced away, biting the skin of your thumb, "It’s all too much, it's just… I-I just couldn't…" You were trembling, shaking like a leaf. JJ knew if you kept this up you would probably pass out from lack of oxygen and/or gnaw straight through your finger.
"Hey, look at me." He reached out, gently taking your hand away from your mouth and bringing your attention to him. "Deep breaths." For a moment JJ thought he may be overstepping, but something in him had switched to autopilot, set on helping you, comforting you. "Breathe with me. In." He paused to take a deep breath, "And out." He slowly blew the air out of his lungs before repeating the process and the mantra. "In… and out…"
He watched as your trembling slowed and your body seemed to relax at his words. "There she is." He gave you a smile and you reciprocated with a small one of your own, "See? Knew you were far too pretty to be cryin’ like that," JJ helped you to stand. He thought you were about to say something before his name caught his attention.
"JJ, what the fuck are you doing man?" JJ looked behind him to see Ben peek his head out from the hallway. "If Mr. Burton sees you fucking around again, he’s gonna cut your ass."
"Shit…" his attention was brought back to you. "Sorry pretty girl, I gotta go." he grabbed his tray before giving you one last glance. "It’ll be okay. Don't let anyone make you believe otherwise. That includes yourself!"
And with that he was gone, leaving you with puffy eyes and a soft smile. JJ didn't know that he also left you wondering why anyone would be so sweet to you and that soon you would be clamoring to know more about the dirty blonde that went by JJ.
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After his shift, JJ went straight to the Chateau, where he now found himself hanging off one of the chairs on the porch and regretting just about every word he had said in the last 15 minutes. He didn’t know how you got brought up and he certainly as hell didn’t know why, considering the two of you had barely a 10-minute interaction and you only said 5 words to him.
Regardless of circumstances, he was now getting berated with questions from two of his best friends, fearing it would only get worse when Kie and Sarah made their way back out onto the porch.
"Shit man you should have at least asked for her name!" John B exclaimed almost tipping over the beer bottle that was haphazardly perched on the arm of his chair.
JJ rolled his eyes, "I wasn't exactly thinking about that!"
"Yeah, I can only imagine what you were thinking about." Pope chuckled to himself. "Speaking of, what did she look like?"
JJ didn't want to tell his friends that you were the most gorgeous human he had ever seen "I don't know man, she looked like every other Kook princess running around." JJ could only shake his head at how unconvincing his voice sounded.
"Bullshit!" John B laughed at his best friend's failed attempts to mask his budding feelings.
"What are you halfwits arguing about?" The three boys looked up to find Kie and Sarah stepping out of the Chateau. Sarah made herself comfortable on John B's lap while Kie sat on the couch next to Pope.
"JJ's in love."
"Wha- fuck you, Pope!"
"With a mystery Kook," John B added.
"Oooo! Tell me more!" Sarah loved gossip and loved the idea of JJ showing interest in a girl that went beyond the realm of a one-night stand.
JJ stood from his seat, "I'm just gonna go walk into the ocean while y'all have fun."
"Oh, sit down," John B waved his hand and JJ returned to his seat. "We're just fucking around, JJ."
"So how did we meet this mysterious Kook Princess?" Kie leaned in, her elbows on her knees.
"Don't matter. For all I know, she's some rich bitch Touron and I'll never see her again."
With that, the conversation fell to other topics, but JJ's thoughts were still on you. Your soft smile. Your puffy eyes. Your lavender dress. He would never admit it, but he was hoping that he was wrong and that he would be lucky enough to see you again.
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It had been a week since JJ’s interaction with you and with no signs of you at the club, he feared that he was right. You were gone and he was left with only the memory of your lavender dress and beautiful eyes.
Or so he thought…
Little did he know that you had been looking for him whenever you entered the country club. You just so happened to miss each other, just barely, every time.
He was walking back from the kitchen when he heard his name being called from down the hallway. “JJ?” The voice sounded small and apprehensive but familiar.
When he turned around, he was greeted by the same beauty from the week before, only you had shed your fancy lavender dress for something a bit more casual, shorts and a flowy white shirt.
When he didn’t respond she continued, "That's your name, right? JJ?"
"Uh yeah. That's me. Um, how can I help you?" A look of confusion danced across his face. He half expected you not to remember him and was waiting for you to ask him for a drink or complain about the hors d'oeuvres.
"I wanted to thank you for the other day…" When his confused look didn’t cease, you couldn't help but continue, "I was the girl in the dress, crying her eyes out on the floor under the bar…" Your hair twirled around your finger in what JJ’s eyes looked to be nervousness.
He couldn't help but chuckle softly and shake his head. Of course, he remembered you; how could he forget, you plagued almost every thought he had had in the last week. He was more taken aback by your kindness.
"I get like that sometimes…" you continued. "Sorta like a tidal wave, once it starts it's hard to stop… but you helped me calm down and you didn't even know me… don’t even know me. So, I-I just wanted to thank you…" your voice faded out as you looked down at your pristine, white Converse.
"No problem." JJ watched as you turned to walk away. Wishing he could bring himself to say something, anything that would make you stay for just a second longer. But JJ knew a girl like you would never go for a guy like him.
Your voice pulled him from his thoughts, not noticing that you had turned to face him once more, "Would you like to hang out, sometime?"
Disbelief flashed over his features, "You wanna hang out with me?" This had to be some kind of trick, at any moment some Kook fucks would jump him for thinking he could so much as look at you.
"If not that's fine! It's probably super weird that I asked that! You don't even know me…"
JJ heard the increased anxiousness in your voice and noticed you starting to gnaw nervously at your fingers once again. "Hey, calm down." He made his way closer to you and gently pulled your hand away once more. "Deep breath for me." He watched as you did what you were told. He released your hand before speaking again, "You really want to hang out with me? You realize I'm not like your kook friends, right? I don't have a pretty Benz to drive you around in and I barely have 20 bucks to my name."
"I just moved here, and I don't really have any friends." A look of embarrassment washed over your face, "not that we have to be friends!" You paused, taking another deep breath. JJ could see you trying to fight off the waves of anxiety as they hit you, "It's just- you seem genuinely nice and that seems a bit hard to come by around here…"
JJ's tongue pressed against his cheek as he smiled. "Got your phone?"
You nodded, pulling the device out from the back pocket of your shorts. You unlocked it and handed it to the blonde where he proceeded to put his number in. You looked at the new contact name when he handed your phone back.
JJ Maybank 🌊
You couldn’t help but smile.
"I’m off all day tomorrow, maybe I could show you around the island or something?”
You couldn’t hide the excitement in your voice. “That would be great! Um, I should get going, but I’ll text you?”
“Sounds like a plan, lavender girl.” He gave you a parting smile and a wink before returning to work.
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"No need to ask. He's a smooth operator!" Pope’s voice rang out as the three boys made their way down the dock to the HMS Pogue.
John B was quick to join the other man in song, as the three jumped on board, "Smooth operator!"
JJ made his way to the bow looking like he was about to jump into the murky water below, “That's it! I'm never telling you guys shit ever again!"
“Relax, J!” John B pulled his friend off the edge, “Like you didn't give me this much shit with Sarah."
"If not more," Pope laughed as he started the boat.
While that was definitely true the blonde rolled his eyes.
"So, what's the plan?" Pope continued as he lowered the anchor. "This doesn't feel like your usual catch-and-release."
“Man, I don’t know, she’s a fuckin’ Kook. I told her I could show her around the island since she just moved here but I’m not sure she’s gunnin’ to see how the other half lives.”
“Hey, you never know. She might surprise you,” John B had a look in his eyes that told the world that he was thinking about Sarah in that moment.
“Sounds like she has so far,” Pope couldn't help but take a couple more jabs at his friend's expense, never having seen the blonde like this before.
With that, JJ’s mind ran through all the possible things the two of you could do tomorrow. Only to be interrupted by the ping of his phone.
*PING*
Unknown Number - Hey it’s Y/N.
*PING*
Unknown Number - Lavender girl…
JJ felt his heart skip a beat. Part of him didn’t think you would actually contact him.
*PING*
Unknown Number – Are you still free tomorrow?
Contacting him was one thing but actually wanting to hang out with him? He quickly saved your contact in his phone, the nickname he gave you seemed appropriate. He ignored the small flips in his stomach brought on by the thought of you.
*PING*
Lavender Girl - If you still want to hang out, that is.
JJ couldn’t help but smirk and shake his head at your nervousness, not noticing Pope glancing at the digital exchange.
“She uses commas when she texts? Girl after my own heart.”
JJ pushed the other boy, “Fuck off, Pope!”
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Do we like? Do we want a part 2? If the answer is yes, do we have suggestions/ideas for part 2? If the answer is also yes please share!
As always, feedback, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!
OBX Taglist: @daisydark @Ineedtosusoutmyreadinglist @lillyxlillian @jjsfavgirl
𝑊𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑎 𝑏𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑔𝑒𝑑? 𝐿𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 💜
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billwidoll · 4 months
Text
Sweet as Cherry
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Summary: You reject yourself to be with Rafe and when he finds out about this, he was ready to make your life hell Until you get a date
Warnings: for over 18s, verbal violence, physical violence, psychological violence, Toxic and aggressive relationship
Author's Notes: This story is a little heavy and if you don't like it, don't read it
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It all started on a normal Thursday afternoon, you were at college waiting for the next class to start. It turns out that there was only you in the room, you were like the nerd in the room, so you were always the one He arrived earlier. but incredibly Rafe Cameron was there too And it didn't take long for him to talk to you
"Hello... you and Y/n?" Rafe says smiling at you
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You were surprised by Rafe's greeting, he was the popular one in college and a bad boy, obviously you didn't like these types of things or these types of Boys
"Oh hi...I'm Y/n" you say with a friendly smile at Rafe
And he smiles with his smile
"Aren't you going to ask who I am, doll?" Rafe speaks with a disgusting smile
You laugh at this comment causing Rafe to hiss in confusion
"For God's sake, who doesn't know who Rafe Cameron is?" You say smiling and that also makes Rafe laugh a little.
"okay... so I'm famous to you?" Rafe speaks, sitting on a chair that was next to them.
"and...like that. But it doesn't fit that much!" You say in a joking tone.
In reality, you didn't even know why you were being so attentive to Rafe, you knew what he was like and how he treated people. Maybe he was just trying to be nice to you to just copy the homework he didn't do.
When Rafe was about to say something else, the teacher and some other students arrived at the time, interrupting them.
It was obvious that Rafe was frustrated, he was winning you over, he was feeling it. Rafe had his eye on you for a long time, but never tried anything, so he decided this was the time
You sat at a table you always sat at, but this time Rafe was your tablemate and you didn't understand because he always sat in the back, far away from you.
"ae! Y/n! How about you meet me at my house at 5pm? I have a surprise for you" Rafe says in a whisper because of the teacher
"Sorry Rafe...but I'm going to study today" you say giving him a friendly smile, you weren't lying you were really going to study
"Ah, come on? This is a chance for us to meet, don't you think?" Rafe speaks with a hopeful look
"how about another day, hun?" You speak last, turning your attention back to the books
And Rafe couldn't deny that he was very upset and sad about it, you were the first girl to not accept an invitation from him. But he wasn't going to give up
Fourdayslater
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After two days, Rafe couldn't stop and think about you. He was always stalking you on Instagram or any social network, He was always going to the coffee shop you worked at.
You were at work on another normal day and Rafe ended up showing up there, you thought he had just stopped by to say "hi" but Rafe's intentions weren't like that.
"Hi Rafe! What are you doing here?" You ask, giving a friendly smile from behind a counter.
"Ah...I came to see you.” Rafe says giving you his best smile and it ends up leaving you embarrassed
"Well... I won't be able to pay attention to you now because I'm working..." You say, your cheeks turning red.
"what's your problem with y/n? Always avoiding me, always making an excuse..." Rafe speaks frustratedly to you and that makes you angry
"I'm sorry if I'm too busy a girl for you!" You shout, but then restrain yourself because you are at your workplace
"okay... and so?" Rafe says it like you and he were having a lovers' fight
"Rafe...What do you want from me, hun? I would do anything for you to leave me alone now!"
You talk already stressed to him
"A date!" Rafe says simply
"a date?" You repeat and he nods
"Yes! Me and you in a restaurant, what do you think?"
Rafe speaks, approaching you and increasing a smile on your face.
"no, I don't want to go on a date with you, Rafe"
you say, lowering your head, you've never turned down a date. But going out with Rafe was too much for you, you didn't want to be another prize in the His
When you refused Rafe's invitation his physiology simply fell, Rafe's eyes quickly darkened, he was starting to break out in a cold sweat
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"what? Are you saying you won't go out with me?" Rafe speaks sounding like a robot that was about to attack you and you were scared there
"and that's right Rafe, I don't want to go out with you now or ever, okay?" You speak harshly, ready to serve the next customers, leaving Rafe alone and angry.
Fourdayslater
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After you didn't want to go out with Rafe, he decided to make your life hell. When you woke up he was there somewhere watching you and you knew it, he was making fun of you From you somewhere in college, he kept treating you like a slave when he went to his work place. But the worst part is when he followed you on the street or when he sent you gifts and love letters or Threatening
You were already tired and fed up with everything Rafe was doing to you, but the worst was going to happen on Wednesday night.
You were in your apartment with the doors locked and the windows too. Everything was calm, so you went to the bathroom to take a shower, going there you ended up taking off your clothes and getting into the hot, bubbly bathtub.
You lay down in the bathtub and closed your eyes, resting. But out of nowhere you end up hearing a voice behind you
"so beautiful...it's a shame it's not mine" Rafe says standing in the doorway smiling, this makes you get up quickly showing off your naked body
When you realize it, you immediately grab a towel that was close to you.
"What are you doing here Rafe?! Can you leave me alone!" you say, screaming desperately, covering yourself with the towel
"no, honey, don't cover yourself, I was seeing a beautiful view" Rafa says walking slowly towards you
"Rafe...please...leave me alone...please" you said with tears in your eyes and slowly moving away with each step Rafe took
"Leave you alone? Why would I leave the most beautiful girl alone?" Rafe speaks with his threatening voice and dark eyes
Now, finally you and Rafe were face to face. Looking deeply, Rafe looked at you like a predator, but you only knew how to be afraid
"...what do you want from me?" You speak with the tears slowly coming down
"I just want a date, my doll" Rafe says almost in a whisper, running his hands over your red face
"Okay, okay. And I'll go out with you, okay?" You say accepting almost desperately
"Do you understand? It's so easy to accept being my girlfriend" Rafe says, smiling like he's crazy and holding your face
"What? Rafe...and just a date, I'm not your girlfriend." You say amazed and Rafe shakes his head no
"Yes, you and my girlfriend yes, and then you will be my wife" Rafe says smiling but squeezing your face, Making you have tears in your eyes even more
"You don't want to make me angry, right? You know what I do when I'm angry." Rafe speaks clearly threatening you
Soon after, he kisses you desperately and madly, the kiss had fear, passion, love, aggression, all emotions flowed from that kiss. Now you were definitely Rafe's
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203 notes · View notes
tojisun · 11 months
Note
OMG ive got smth else for u
Give by sleep token is sooo biker!simon coded ahhh😩😭😭
I AM THE SHADOW, YOU ARE A PASSENGER
IF YOU WANT TO GIVE, THEN GIVE ME ALL THAT YOU CAN GIVE
I WANT TO TASTE YOU BETTER
anon u are too sick for this one now im genuinely spiralling??? how do i move on!! HOW DO I LISTEN TO SLEEP TOKEN WITHOUT ENVISIONING BIKER!SIMON???
this fits sooo well with that one consistent brainworm that wont let me go since it manifested – it’s from when i was answering honey’s ask!!
how a subset of biker!simon is him and you being friends for a while but you’re with a partner who doesn’t appreciate you and love you the way you should be, and simon ofc doesnt wanna just be like “i can treat you better sweet girl” BUT ONE DAY HE WHISKS YOU AWAY WHEN YOUR PARTNER DID SMTHN THAT ENDED UP WITH SIMON HAVING SPLIT KNUCKLES, HIS HELMET STRAPPED ON YOUR HEAD, AND HIM AND YOU ON HIS BIKE AS HE DRIVES YOU AWAY AHHHH
on my knees right now???
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the way you’re crying in his arms, pressing your face on his back and it’s a little awkward because of the helmet and simon’s feeling the ridges of the visor dig into his back, but god simon’s trying his best not to explode. trying his best not to just swerve into the nearest empty lot because he wants you as far away from your shit of a boyfriend.
and when he finds an empty park, away from the suburbs and from the bastard who made you cry, simon pulls over and tugs at your helmet to take it off before scooping you in his arms and tucking your face on the juncture between his neck and his shoulder. he holds you close and he holds you tight, letting his silence wrap around you. he kisses the top of your head, breathing you in, feeling his own blood calm down because you’re in his arms now. safe, loved, cherished.
the way when you ask him why’s he being too kind, too considerate, simon bites the words that threaten to spill because you deserve more than a rushed confession. so he just presses a kiss on your forehead and tells you he’ll always be here for you. always be here to help you throughout.
you end it off with your boyfriend that same night, your body shuddering with sobs but god you feel better. feel lighter.
and it’s gradual – the way you fall in love with simon. the way your eyes see him as more than your best friend, more than your platonic soulmate. and you’re scared to fuck things up, but god the way simon looks at you, all adoring and reverent, makes you weak.
the words spill from your lips on a thursday morning when you dropped by simon’s place only to see him tinkering on his bike in the garage.
you’re about to crouch down and settle on the floor the way you had always done before but pause when simon tells you so.
“i got y’somethin’,” he says, blushing just a bit. you watch as he walks towards the cleared-out corner of his garage, just noticing the covered lump there.
he turns to you with a smile and tugs at the sheet, revealing a pretty, pink, velvet loveseat.
“so you don’t have to sit on the floor w’me,” he says after a while, taking your silence for confusion.
“it’s… mine?”
simon laughs, something boyish. “yeah. all y’rs, doll. i’m used to the hard surface but i see you rubbin’ at your ass when i take too long so i got you this to help out.”
what the fuck?
he blinks. the smile slipping from his lips. “i mean, you don’t have to use it.”
fuck. you said that out loud? stupid-
“no, si, oh my god! it’s perfect!” you scramble to tell him, practically running towards where he’s standing. “i’m just- i don’t know- no one has ever-”
to your horror, tears began pooling in the corners of your eyes. simon stares at you in surprise, his face falling as worry lines his beautiful features. you try to assure him that you’re doing okay, but a pathetic wet sob lurches out of your throat instead.
“fuck,” you say, aggressively wiping at your weeping eyes. “i’m so sorry for this, si. i just- i fucking love you so much and i don’t know how to-”
you startle when big hands pull your fists away from your eyes. you see simon staring at you in shock.
“you love me?” he asks, almost breathless like he is afraid of being wrong. afraid that if he spoke any louder, it will lead to you rejecting him.
but how could you ever?
“i do,” you tell him. “i love you so much, si. i think i always have-”
he cuts you off again, but this time with his lips. his big and callused hands are gentle as they cup your cheeks, pulling you closer to him like he still can’t believe that you love him back.
“i love you too, sweetheart,” simon murmurs on your lips when he finally pulls back, your breaths passing through each other in gasps. “i fuckin’ love you.”
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so clearly i went fucking bonkers-
SORRY IT GOT TOO LONG MY GOD
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dykeknightrises · 1 year
Text
US
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A/N: I'M BACK! This is the third and final piece of the falling series, finally making it's appereace! While I'm not super happy about it (which is probably because I feel a bit weird writing dialogue and this one has much more than the last two), I feel like this is the closing I wanted for it! I truly hope you guys enjoy it!
PART 1: FALLING
PART 2: PROMISES
Having Alexia look at you like that took your breath away. Her hazel eyes looking at you like you were the only thing in the world gave you goosebumps. It wasn’t until a frown made it’s way to her forehead that you realized she was talking to you.
“I said: ‘I was hoping we could have our usual Thursday? I have a lot that I need to say to you.’” She said, before frowning ever deeper before adding, “Where are you going? It’s Thursday.”
“D-Date. I’m going on a date right now.” You replied, cursing the stuttering at the hasher tone she used on the last sentence.
“I didn’t know you were going on a date today.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was supposed to inform the team captain of such personal affairs.” You snarked back.
“That’s not what I meant and know it.”
“I don’t know, Alexia. For the past few months, we’ve only spoken as teammates. I don’t think it was wrong of me assume that this is how we were now, nothing more than teammates.”
“This is not fair, Y/N. You said we were okay.” Alexia gritted, pushing past you into your apartment.
“I thought we were too! I wasn’t the one who kept cancelling every week.” You scoffed.
“But you can’t just go in date like that!” she bit back.
“Excuse me? You know what, forget about it. Just leave, captain.”
“I can’t! I can’t let you go on that date before I tell you how I feel!” The Catalonian yelled.
“The last thing I need is to hear how much you don’t care about me!” You yell back, pushing past her and leaving her alone in your apartment.
***
The blonde’s words rang in your ears as you drove late to the date. The restaurant wasn’t very far, but you chose to drive to ground yourself. The argument with the Spaniard and the quick conversation that followed made her eyes turn glassy as she blinked to try to see the traffic better.
Trying to find the teammate that Leah set you up with was a downward spiral. Not being able to locate whoever it was, Y/N could feel the stress and the frustration leak through her cracks. A hand gripping your shoulder brought you back to the moment, making you turn and face soft brown eyes.
You could feel the warmness emanating from your former teammate as she enveloped you in a tight hug. Dressed in a high waisted pants, a very nice blouse and ready to kill, Lia Walti stood smiling at you.
“Leah outdid herself this time.” The Swiss laughed with you.
“Now a lot of things are making sense.” You agreed.
Following your friend to the table the English captain reserved for you two, it was easy to lose yourself in the conversation, as you caught up. It wasn’t easy, however, to do it completely, with a very specific person occupying such a bug part of your thoughts.
“Do you want to talk about her or are you pretending she doesn’t exist?”
“The second option.” You pout back.
“Well, I know why Leah set this whole thing up but, in all fairness, I’m not ready to go all in again. With how things ended between me and her, it still stings, you know? I mean, the whole summer fling was nice, but ‘real world’ wise I’m not there yet.”
“Oh, thank God. I’d hate to ghost you after this.” You joke at her, making her roll her eyes.
“Asshole!” She laughed, throwing a balled-up napkin in your direction.
With the underlining expectation of the night becoming nothing than a hang out between friends, you two relaxed considerably and dug deeper into the mess she had been in and the one you were now.
Dropping her off in her hotel after you both agreed on telling Leah the date was great so she wouldn’t set up either of you again, at least for a while, you drove back home. Talking to Lia about Alexia was very good, as she was removed enough from the situation to have convinced that maybe the last thing you yelled to the Catalonian was unfair.
With that happy though in mind, you got ready to bed, preparing yourself for an unruly night filled with Alexia, as usual.
***
Having a flat tire on your way to the Camp Nou was most certainly not a part of your plan and only served to make a bad day even worse. First you missed you alarm after only being able to sleep as the sun started peeking from the horizon. Then, you ran out of literally everything that was your usual breakfast food for Game Day. And now, a flat tire after already being late. Yay.
Leaving the car after parking and now even glancing checking where you were, an Uber arrived only a few minutes after and dropped you off on the wrong side of the stadium. Another check for bad day.
“I’m so sorry I’m late! The alarm, then the food, then the car, the Uber…” You apologized to Jona and the rest of you team, after finally making to the Locker Room.
“Uhh, don’t worry, Chica Amante!” Lucy teased.
“Oh, how do you say that in Swiss German?’ Mapí joked.
The team quickly joined in, clearly having heard details from Lucy and Keira, who Leah unquestionably gossiped to. Rolling your eyes, you started getting ready. It didn’t scape you that the only person who didn’t join in was Alexia, who had been lacing the same boot since you walked in.
“Ohh, Y/N, you can be late for game after a deliberate session of Seven Minutes in Heaven in the closest empty room!” Someone joked.
“Bonus if you don’t need all the minutes!” It was added.
As the girls kept poking fun, you could see Alexia get more and more tense, until she finally got up rather abruptly, mumbling something about needing more tape. As she closed the locker room door behind her, the glassiness in her eyes made the decision you had been struggling since the day before much easier.
After not finding the older woman in the most obvious spots, Y/N went to their spot, the little Video room for any last-minute adjustments. Alexia was sitting in the first row, right in front of the projector, as if she was waiting to watch a game tape.
The blonde had her head down, on her hands, shoulder shaking, and sobs barely muffled by her hands. Choking down her own sobs at how hurt Alexia was, Y/N made her was quickly through the room, sitting next to the Spaniard, pulling her into a hug.
“Shh… First, we get thought this, then we talk.” You whisper, cutting her protests.
With her safely tucked in your arms, you two stayed like until she was ready. Holding her for what felt like forever, Y/N felt more in peace than she had felt in the past months.
A small part of her brain kept reminding her that this was one of the most important game of their careers, but Alexia was far more important. It was almost a full hour before the Spaniard was ready, slowly untucking herself for the safe spot that hid her from the world. It was several minutes later before she even managed to look in your direction. It was even longer before she spoke.
“I’m sorry.” The blonde broke the silence, with her voice trembling and oh-so-quietly that Y/N had to strain her ears to hear it properly.
“Alexia…”
“No, I’m sorry. For everything, really. You deserve so much more than what I’ve done to you.” She whispered, before adding with a broken voice. “I-I hope the date yesterday went well.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m stupid.”
“Alexia.”
“I was scared. After Jenni, I was completely broken. Then I let myself open up and she broken me too. Hell, a part of me was still broken when you came along. In the beginning of the year, I promised myself that right now I just needed to focus in getting better, so I closed myself for any shred that could lead into something more. But then you came and made me yours without me even realizing. When I did, I got terrified. I-I was certain that you would break me too, but I couldn’t take it. Not from you.” She cried softly.
“So, you took a step back before I could do anything?”
“Yeah. I thought that if you didn’t know you couldn’t break me too.”
“Ale…”
“No, it’s okay. I can get over it, is not even your fault that I completely fucked everything up.”
“Well, I really hope you don’t. I spent almost the entire “date” yesterday talking to Lia about you, about how much I love you.” You said, caressing her jaw, getting yourself lost on her honey gaze.
“Oh…” She gasped. “But..”
“Well, we agreed on telling everyone it went well because we were not interested in doing that again, but with a stranger. Neither one of us were ready to move on.” You chuckled.
“Can I kiss you? Please?”
You nodded, leaning forward, and meeting her lips. In that moment, everything was right again. Hearing her breath get caught up, her hands caressing your waist, the warmness of her skin. Everything was Alexia. You were undoubtedly hers.
Getting lost on her was far too easy. It always was. It took you every ounce of self-awareness too pull back, only to be allowed after a shred of pecks and nips. Eyes closed, breathing the same puffs of air being expelled from your heavy breathing, you felt like you were dreaming again. Too afraid to open your eyes and wake up, you remain basking in her.
“Can I have another chance? I need to make it right, to be yours and make you mine forever.” Alexia asked, hazel eyes looking through heavy hoods, as if you’re the only thing in the world.
“I don’t know if I trust you.” You whisper, feeling you vision blur though unshed tears.
“That’s okay. I want to earn it back, it’s the most important thing for me. I want your permission to work for it, but if you don’t want it, I swear to leave you alone.”
“Don’t you dare doing that.” You tell her, kissing her cheek.
You two stay there for a few more minutes before getting up, finding you way back to a very panicked locker room. Turns out that vanishing for over an hour right before a match made everyone very worried.
Making up with Alexia was easily the peak of the day but beating Lyon and kicking them out of the Champions League in a packed Camp Nou, after losing to them on the away game, with you two having the game of your lives surely made its way as a second peak of what started out as a bad day.
The next few months were spent with you two thick as thieves once more, the team back on the comfortable routine. It was the next year’s pre-season when you gave her the green flag that you trusted her, and it was exactly a few after she gave you a bar of you favourite chocolate that she asked you to be her girlfriend. It was also then that she told you that she bought all the chocolate of her favourite store.
The Sun made you feel warm, loved, cared, cozy, at home, yourself and so many more things that you weren’t quite sure that could be described as feelings. But right now, buried under and completely surrounded by everything her on their home, Y/N would vow on whatever entity that existed that Alexia the Sun itself.
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Text
Student Becomes the Teacher
It was a familiar experience to me, getting in my car, going to class early, doing homework. Felt nice. Of course what was also familiar was the bullying. You see I had recently gotten fired and had a wake up call. I needed to do something better with my life. So what did I do? i, as someone so smart would do, joined a technical institute. I went into a more financial side though. This did not make me popular with my classmates who had been there longer, were usually older, and most of which were more hands on.
They would call me a nerd, a loser, and a geek. Of course I didn't care all too much about this. Harassment was just that, and quite frankly it was some annoying dumb ass adults who couldn't even think straight enough to get a job that was actually needed. This attitude also made me very unpopular. So unpopular a teacher complained. Why? Cause he had heard some of the stuff me and my field would say about the welders.
It was just stuff like how they're stupid, all have at least one DUI, won't amount to anything. Stuff like that. He went so far to complain to the head administrator of the school. Now he used to be an electrician so he knew how it was to be hands on. He loved hearing about all of this and hatched a plan. The workload for the welders had been pretty overwhelming for just one instructor...
It was only a few days before I heard murmurs of a new instructor coming on campus, of course it was some welder... not like my section could get anything. But that same week I was called into an office at campus. I expected nothing much, maybe an odd thing I lost, although what it was I could not imagine... what I didn't expect was the head administrator.
"Hello [Y/N], we just wanted to talk to you today." Oh god what was it about, he could see how nervous I was. It was humiliating but also I needed to try and keep cool. "We had received some complaints about your attitude towards the welders and electricians, I just wanted to go through a few questions with you, that ok?"
Without knowing what to do I nodded, "Y-yes sir." I gulped a bit.
"Good, so first... is it true you had said to Taylor that he was a... no good stoner with no future? Is that true?" I tried to shake my head no but it went the opposite way. "Ah, glad you were honest with me. Well... you know here we like to give second chances to anyone right?" I shook my head in agreement. "In that case, any felonies you have?"
What felonies? What kind of- "Yeah, actually I've had a dui or two, got arrested for a fight or two... or more." What was I saying?! What the hell?!
"I appreciate your honesty... Tom was it?" What kind of name was that? It wasn't my name at all? Wait why did I nod?! "Yeah, well that's gonna be tough but your students generally would relate. The head administrator smiled at me. "We can wave those away since your track record for your work is pretty good."
"Glad to hear that." I said again in that weird voice. What the hell was happening... why did I suddenly remember welding and shit... What the hell...
"Yeah... I think you'll fit right in, Tom." Why was he being so devilish right now?!
"Thanks man, really need this." I chuckled as I stood up and walked out of the room. "Startin next thursday right?"
"Yup! Just wear somethin like that when you come in! We'll get a shirt in your size soon!" He laughed as I walked out, the window in the door showing a new reflection.
My face was more dashing, a bit older as well. My hair was messy but in an almost purposeful way. My body had grown quite a bit of muscle now... hair as well. Tattoos had been put on my body frivolously! I looked like some typical douche bag!
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I walked through the halls, trying to see on my phone what had happened. My background was a picture of a motorcycle. Jessie... what? Who the hell was Jessie? My contacts had some girls in there and some guys I had no clue who they were. Going through the messages they were my drinking buddies and some hookups.
I continued until the electrician teacher stopped to talk. "Hey are you..." I wanted to say my actual name but that didn't pop out.
"Yeah, name's Thomas Wylder. You can just call me Tom though." I smiled at her... it was like my body moved on it's own. "New teacher here, welding." Wait...
We started to talk in the hall for a bit, just about staff in the school and how the welders were. She described them as younger than me and rowdy. I would make douchey comments or state shit about my life. Where I now lived, how many years I had been a welder and in the union. It was like I wasn't even me anymore. Eventually I cut it short, needing to go do some "tasks" at my home.
I went outside to find it... the same motorcycle from the picture. Jessie. I put on a leather jacket and no helmet... I could ride it with no issue though. I was still wondering how or why this happened. It was as if I was... no... the head administrator wouldn't do that would he?
I eventually got back to wherever my home was. Beaten up shithole kinda... not in a good neighborhood either. I waved to a neighbor and went in. Smelt like shit, I reached in my pocket and took out a cig and started smoking... no... I was the worst kind of person. The kind I hated. Dumb, arrogant, douchey, and toxic! It was awful!
2 MONTHS HAD GONE BY
I was now regularly teaching the class, about two weeks into this hellish experience I had started to regain full control of my life. While I tried to actually stop these worse traits, I couldn't. By that point they were ingrained into me. Now I acted like a douchey teacher, the kinds you hate. The ones that will just tease or make fun of nerdy kids. Of course I was well loved by the staff and my students.
I worked as a welder and taught the trade now. I hated it... but it gave me money to pay the lifestyle I never wanted. I don't think I deserved this but... I'm slowly coming around to it. I feel more confident and hey, I even hang out with some of the douchebags I had teach me when I went here... god I sound so old now... I hope someday I can reverse this before it's way too late.
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babygirlbenji · 15 days
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Daylight - Ben Chilwell
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A/N: phewwwww this one's a big one!!!!! this is definitely going to be a series and i can't wait to get the next one written
Wordcount: 3.1k (she a big gorl)
If there was one thing in life that you could be certain of, it would be that you loved your routine. Doing shift work probably wasn’t what most people would associate with a routine, but your shifts were regular enough that you had your own little routine that you went through every week.
You woke up. You went to work. You worked out. You went home. You made dinner. You lounged in bed watching Below Deck or Selling Sunset or some other variation of trashy yet entertaining TV. You showered. You scrolled on TikTok (and sent a few funny videos to your friends). You went to bed. Repeat the next day.
You would insert a little day trip somewhere or a meet up with friends when applicable, but for the most part, you had your routine and you stuck with it.
All of that changed, however, when a certain footballer made his way into your life.
It was a Thursday. You remember it was a Thursday, because your favourite regular wasn’t in - she didn’t come in on Thursdays as she volunteered at a food bank every week. So you mooched around, made small talk with colleagues and made your little coffees, trying to improve your latte art. So far, you’d managed a heart, a flower, and some sort of questionable circular formation of foam that you swore looked like a dog if you looked at it the right way while squinting. Your colleague, Kendall, who was probably your closest friend at the coffee shop, was laughing when the aforementioned footballer strode his way into the coffee shop.
You noticed straightaway that he was new. Your coffee shop was small, boutique and tucked away in a corner of Cobham you really had to look for it. The majority of customers came from word of mouth, having been recommended a panini or muffin by a friend. It was no Starbucks or Costa, but all your colleagues swore that it was the best coffee in town (you couldn’t really tell, as you didn’t drink coffee). The second thing you noticed was that he was cute. Oh, god was he cute. He had a bit of scruff around his chin that made its way down a bit of his neck, rosy cheeks that suggested he’d been out for a run, and when he made eye contact with you, you saw the most piercing blue eyes you’d ever seen. You tried to ignore the way your heart thudded when you saw him.
‘Uh, hi,’ the young man started. ‘What’s the best thing on the menu here? A mate recommended this shop to me, said the paninis were the best he’s ever had.’ You opened and closed your mouth like a goldfish, struggling for words. Kendall had mysteriously disappeared to the back room, leaving you on the till by yourself.
‘Um, probably the mozzarella and tomato panini. I have it most days on my break, so it’s probably lost a bit of the novelty for me. It’s good, though.’ He sauntered over to the display cabinet to have a look at the goods on offer. You tried not to stare at him, but you couldn’t help but feel like you recognised him from somewhere.
‘I will try one of those, please. Oh, and an Americano with hot milk, please.’ You nodded and rang his order up on the till. He tapped his card on the card reader, which beeped to signify that the payment had gone through.
Your eyes travelled down to his clothes, and you noticed a familiar logo. Now, you didn’t necessarily follow football, but most of the guys you worked with supported Chelsea Football Club (kind of a necessity, given the training grounds were just a mile or so away from the small town), and you’d seen the logo dozens of times on the water bottles or coffee flasks they brought in.
‘No worries, I’ll get those started for you.’ And so, your routine of getting the food started. The coffee machine whirred in the background, while the steam wand sputtered into life to heat up the milk.
‘It’s a nice place, how long have you worked here?’ The man’s question took you by surprise. You tried not to let it show as you answered.
‘About three years now. This job was initially to get me through uni, but I enjoy it and it’s easy, so I guess I just haven’t left.’ You put his panini into a takeaway box and passed him the cardboard coffee cup. ‘Oh, here’s a cup holder as it’s hot, don’t want you burning yourself.’ You nestled the coffee cup into the holder, before passing him a couple of napkins to take away with him.
‘Thanks. What did you study at uni?’
‘I studied English literature with communications, ideally wanted to go into journalism or something but the job market is awful right now. I barely make enough to live on my own but I like the independence. Are you local?’ If his question took you by surprise, yours to him definitely did. His eyebrows raised, before he seemed to check himself and recovered.
‘Oh, I grew up in Milton Keynes and worked up in Leicester for a bit. Moved down here a few years ago and love it.’ Your head nodded towards his jacket with the Chelsea logo.
‘Working for the football club, I take it?’ He smiled bashfully.
‘Actually I’m a player for the first team. Got a game this weekend, but I’m likely on the bench so I don’t need to take the diet too seriously.’ Your jaw dropped. You knew you’d seen him somewhere. ‘My name’s Ben, by the way, Ben Chilwell. What’s yours?’
‘Y/N. Great to meet you, Ben, be sure to come back soon, and good luck for the game.’ He paused in the middle of putting his backpack on, and looked you straight in the eye.
‘Oh believe me, Y/N, I’ll definitely be coming back.’ And with that, he smiled at you before strolling out of the coffee shop. You were momentarily frozen; did he mean coming back to have another coffee? Or to try another panini? What on earth just happened?
‘Girl, you have to tell me what just happened between you and that cute footballer.’ Kendall’s voice made you jump, as she reappeared from the back room.
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ you responded, pretending to wipe the coffee machine steam wand. You didn’t want to believe it, but you secretly hoped that he meant he was coming back to see you.
‘It’s supposed to mean that the chemistry between you two was comparable to the chemistry between Glen Powell and Zoey Deutch in Set It Up. He didn’t take a single bite of his panini so he had no idea how good it was, and he ordered the most basic coffee on the menu. And, he didn’t take his eyes off you for more than a second while you were making the coffee. Furthermore, he made small talk with you. He is mega into you, trust me.’
‘I make small talk with baristas and waitresses all the time! I bet he was just being friendly.’ You and Kendall went back and forth a bit more, and then the lunch rush hit, so you couldn’t really talk again. As you closed up the shop and drove home, though, you couldn’t help but think… maybe Kendall was right?
----
The next couple of weeks came and went. Ben came in every now and then, and the two of you made further small talk and got to know each other more and more. You’d taken the time the day you met him to stalk his Instagram profile. He was Chelsea’s vice-captain, loved dogs, family seemed important to him and he seemed to be incredibly valued by his teammates.
September turned to October. The leaves fell, the temperature dropped and the nights were rapidly drawing in. Pumpkin spice was back on the menu, which prompted a daily rush from the students in the area in the morning and mid-afternoon.
You didn’t want to admit it, but you always looked at the door when the bell dinged to notify you that someone had entered the shop. You’d finally admitted to yourself that in between you and Ben’s getting to know each other, you had developed a little bit of a crush on him. His coffee was more often than not ‘on the house’, and you took a bit more time than needed to prep and make his panini. He’d now gone through most of the options of the paninis, but he regularly returned to the mozzarella and tomato panini that you’d recommended - ‘it really is as good as you said’, he’d said on one occasion.
You opened up to each other about life, your stories, what brought him to Cobham, what countries you wanted to visit, his dream dog (‘I love Oscar, but I would love a Bernese mountain dog’), and all manner of other things. Kendall was sure that he liked you, but it had been nearly two months since he first came in, and he hadn’t made the move to ask you out or even ask for your number.
You stuck to your routine. Work, gym, dinner, shower, bed. It hadn’t wronged you once, and you were definitely starting to see the results of your gym sessions.
One morning, a particularly cold and windy November morning, you locked your car in the car park and walked briskly towards the coffee shop. Before you could reach it, however, a voice calling your name made you stop.
‘Y/N! Y/N!’ You turned around, and nearly crashed straight into…
‘Ben! Hi, how are you? How did the last game go?’ Ben looked - ugh - particularly gorgeous this morning. His hair had grown, he’d trimmed his stubble, his cheeks were as rosy as ever and his dimples were on full show as he smiled warmly at you.
‘I’m good, thanks, yeah the game was alright. We’re getting there.’ You nodded; you couldn’t say you watched games, but you’d watched a couple of highlight videos on YouTube and could potentially be persuaded to watch a game. Your personal favourite video was Chelsea’s Champions League win. Ben had clearly played magnificently, having stopped several goals from materialising. ‘How, um, how are you?’ You nodded and returned his smile.
‘I’m good, just on my way to open up.’ You were struck with a sudden idea. ‘If you’re not in a rush to get anywhere, you could wait for me to open and get the first coffee of the day?’ He smiled.
‘I don’t have anywhere to be today. Lead the way.’
The two of you started to make your way to the coffee shop, making friendly conversation on the way. He told you that he was being rested for the weekend, so he was training but wasn’t on the team for the weekend.
‘It’s frustrating, but I know I’m still not quite full fitness just yet,’ he’d admitted.
‘Full fitness? Why, what happened?’ You asked, curious. He ran a hand through his windswept hair.
‘I was tackled by a Juventus player back in November of 2021. It was a bad tackle, and it tore my ACL, and I’ve struggled with injuries since then. Hamstring, calf, knee… it’s been never ending. I try to tell myself that I’m still a good footballer, it’s just a shame that I’ve been plagued by injury, but still… I’m vice captain and I’ve had barely any minutes this season.’
You were quiet as he basically vented to you.
‘Oh Ben, I’m sorry to hear that. That sounds awful. How is your knee now?’ He sighed.
‘It’s okay. I get regular physio and scans, to keep track of progress. I’m just scared it will happen again, I guess. It’s a miracle I’ve come back to playing at all, a lot of players suffer so much damage they can never play again. It was scary for a while, I didn’t know whether I’d be playing again.’ You let him vent. You were never one of many words, but all your friends and colleagues said that you were one of the best listeners they knew, and this was something that Ben noticed straightaway. The way you just let him talk, even though you barely knew him, and showed genuine empathy and concern in his injury… it made him even more sure that he wanted to get to know you more, wanted to get to the bottom of who you were.
The two of you chatted more, and before long, you’d reached the coffee shop.
‘Take a seat, I’ll get things set up and bring you out a coffee. Did you want a panini?’ Your offer was simply too much for him to ignore, and he took a gentle hold of your arm as you made to walk away. ‘Why don’t you make two and have breakfast with me?’ Your breath hitched in your throat. Was he really asking what you thought he was asking? 
You had to replay what he said to you a couple times in your head to assure yourself that you weren’t hallucinating. ‘Uh, yeah, sure that sounds great. I do need to get things done, like checks and things…’
‘I won’t keep you long, I promise. I just want to get to know you better.’ Despite the cold temperature (the heating hadn’t come on yet), your heart melted and your cheeks flushed. After making sure that everything in the shop was ready (in record time, you took heart in noticing), you prepared Ben’s usual panini and rang through a muffin for yourself. You had about an hour before the shop opened, and you were determined to make the most of it.
Ben sat down at a table close to the window, with you following shortly after.
‘I’ve been meaning to ask - how did you find this place? We’re hardly a major chain or on the main street.’ Ben took a sip of his coffee and smiled fondly.
‘Do you know Mason Mount?’ You shook your head, feeling slightly guilty for your football ignorance showing itself once again. ‘Well, he used to play for Chelsea, he’s up in Manchester now, but he used to come here regularly. Here’s a picture.’ He opened up Instagram and showed you a picture of Mason, and your jaw dropped immediately.
‘Oh! Him! He was always so lovely, he was here all the time. I had no idea he was a footballer! He never came across as one.’ You realised immediately what you’d said, and internally face-palmed, hoping that Ben hadn’t caught on. Unfortunately, he had.
‘And what’s that supposed to mean?’ His face was lit up with a bright smile as he teased you. You were sure that your cheeks were a vibrant red.
‘Well - I - um… that didn’t come out well at all… if it’s any consolation you didn’t come across as a footballer at all… it’s just… when I think of footballers I don’t necessarily think of lovely polite young men who always say please and thank you.’
Ben wiggled his eyebrows.
‘So I’m a lovely young man then?’ He teased further, gently knocking your foot with his. You both dissolved into giggles; you couldn’t help it. Ben was sweet, curious and just downright funny.
‘Yes, you are a very lovely young man.’ Your eyes met his, and you knew then and there that this was the man for you.
Although you’d had your routine in life, it had always felt dull. Grey. Cloudy. Being around Ben, it felt like the clouds had parted and you were seeing in colour for the first time. It was comparable to that first fine sunny day after a long winter. You and Ben chatted back and forth for the next hour, finding out things about each other; favourite songs (his was Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen), favourite artists (yours was Niall Horan), biggest fears (his: not being good enough for Chelsea, yours: bridges, which prompted a teasingly heated discussion which ended in you showing the videos of the Baltimore bridge collapsing and how it had given you nightmares).
The clock showed 9:55, which meant you had five minutes to open the coffee shop.
‘I should get my apron on and get this party started,’ you sighed, getting up from your chair. Ben jumped up to stand next to you.
‘Thank you for sitting with me, I had a lot of fun.’ He smiled that beautiful dimpled smile of his.
‘I did too.’ He took a big breath. ‘And I would love to take you out for dinner sometime.’ The world stopped turning for the briefest of moments, during which you made a mental note to send Kendall a message saying that she was right all along.
‘I would like that a lot, Ben.’ He fished his phone out of his pocket and handed it to you.
‘If I have your number I’ll message you the day and time. Dress nicely.’ God, this man was just a walking green flag - planning the date, funny, in touch with his emotions?
You added yourself to his phone as a new contact, before giving his phone back to him. As you did so, your fingers brushed slightly. Electricity coursed through you; it was almost like being given an electric shock, but this felt much more pleasant. In a wild instant, your body craved more physical contact with him. What did hugging him feel like? What did kissing him feel like? If just one small touch felt like this, what would more feel like? You were desperate to feel more, but you knew you had to wait.
‘I’ll see you soon, Ben.’ He swooped in and brushed the lightest of kisses on your cheek.
‘You too, Y/N.’ And with that, he was gone. You watched him walk down the road towards his car, which you presumed was parked in the multi-storey car park down the road. Your phone buzzed with a message:
From: Unknown number Hey it’s Ben, I’ll message you details of our date later today :) just need to plan it ;)
You screenshotted it and sent the photo to Kendall.
To: Kenny❤️ You were right all along…
From: Kenny❤️ WTF DETAILS NOW!!!!
You shut your phone off, grinning. For the time being, you were going to keep the details to yourself. Kendall would know in time, of course, but you had a coffee shop to open and a routine to keep to.
For now, at least. You had a funny feeling that your routine was going to change very soon, and instead of feeling scared, you opened up the shop feeling at peace with the changes that would be happening in your life.
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kennysboxergf · 1 year
Text
How they would react to you sucking them off 😨
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⚠️smut warning⚠️
Niko:
He would be in shambles. Like hands clutching at anything he can physically reach, if he can’t reach anything he’s probably just grabbing at your hair, his head would be leaned back and he would be making the most unholy sounds as you worked at his cock.
He would be talking through the whole thing, about absolutely everything, he would repeat your name, a lot of please and oh my gods, so much profanity. If you pull off of him he would whine and beg for you to just let him finish. When he does finish he would drop his head forward and wait for you to come up, then it’s all kisses and kisses for you 😘
Sharky:
Boy he would be biting his lips and shit to not make any noise as you went down. Clutching at your hair deffo and he would be like trying to lead you as you did it. As soon as he finished he would be trying to find ways to return the favour.
Chunkz:
OH BOY he’s definitely a “good girl” kinda guy, guiding you and when you do good he moans and he praises you. Hshdhhehrh feels he would make you feel so nice after too 🤭🤭
Kenny:
Ungrateful but it’s alr cus he’s so 🤭🤭 he would like quick stuff so you guys sneak away and you suck him off. He would moan but then slap a hand over his mouth cus he remembers where he is. Wouldn’t grab you just whatever was near him. When he finishes he would pull you up and kiss you, thanking you. He wouldn’t do anything there cus he has to get back to whatever but he would probably thank you for it when y’all get home.
AJ:
Ahh he’s a fucking menace. Grabbing your hair and making you choke on it, laughing if you gagged or something. He would just pull you as far down as you can go so he can come into the back of your throat. Don’t worry tho because he would be gentle enough after the blowie to make up for it. (Unless u just want him to fuck you numb he can do that too 🤭🤭)
Have this cus I’m working on requests rn, those will be out by Thursday at the latest <3
As always requests are open and please come by and say hi <3
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callsign-joyride · 3 months
Text
So Long, London | Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw
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Summary: You think that Bradley is cheating on you after seeing a compromising picture. Content warnings: Angst with a happy ending, college AU Lyric: "You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?"
Buy me a coffee
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It was like almost any other college relationship. You and Bradley and met in a biology lab, and you were originally study buddies. But then, he'd text you to ask if you wanted to meet up at the dining hall for lunch or dinner. 
“You're sure you don't need help studying for Thursday's exam?” You asked one day during lunch. 
“Yeah, I've got everything down. How about we go and see a movie after the exam? Student tickets are 5 bucks each.”
“Sure!”
That was what you had considered your first date with Bradley. He walked you back to your dorm once you got back, and even chatted with your roommate for a few minutes. He spent the holidays with you and your family when he told you about his parents. 
Spring break was rounding the corner when you walked out of the mailroom and your roommate had called you. 
“What's up?” You asked, thinking she had locked herself out again.
“Are you on your way back to the dorm?”
“Uh, yeah, why?”
“There's something I gotta tell you, but I need to tell you in person. It's about Bradley.”
“Oh my God. Okay, I'll be there in like, ten minutes.”
As you walked back to the dorms, you angrily texted Bradley asking him what he had done and that your roommate was going to talk to you about whatever it was. He wasn't responding, and he hadn't responded by the time you got to the dorm. As you opened the door, your roommate was sitting on her bed and she looked upset. 
“Don't shoot the messenger,” was the first thing that she said and you sighed before sitting on your bed that was across the room from hers. 
“Just tell me what happened. I already know I’m not gonna like it.”
“Here,” she said as she showed you a picture on her phone. Some girl had her arms wrapped around Bradley. 
The picture was from pretty far away and it was zoomed in, but you knew that that was Bradley. A wave of disappointment rushed over you and you put your head in your hands, trying to process what you were going to do next. The only option that made sense in your mind was to confront him about it, so you texted him and told him to meet you at the dining hall. He was confused when he finally responded to your initial text asking what he had done, and he said that he was in the library. You only had a few minutes to get to the dining hall from your dorm if you wanted to meet him there instead of having him wait for you. He walked over to you once he got to the dining hall, and you led him to a table before sitting down and letting out a sigh.
“My roommate showed me a picture of you and some other girl earlier. You looked awfully couple-like. I just wanna know what that was about before I decide if I’m gonna end this.”
“Oh my God. She came onto me, I swear. We were walking out of Physics together and she just kinda jumped on me like that. I had no idea she’d do that, or that someone would take a picture of it. I’m so sorry, babe. I’d never cheat on you, I hope you know that.”
You let out a breath that you didn’t even know that you were holding and leaned across the table to give Bradley a hug. For once, you were glad that you were just overthinking, but you were also glad that your roommate was looking out for you. Bradley explained that she was just someone who sat at his table for lectures, but that he would talk to her about it the next time he saw her.
“Yeah, I’d appreciate it if you did that. I think it would also help me feel better if you kept your distance from her and made it clear that I’m around, y’know?”
“Yeah, I understand that. I love you.” “I love you, too.”
Bradley walked you back to your dorm, and your roommate was somewhat surprised that he was with you and that you weren’t upset. The two of you explained everything to her and she was quick to understand, and she was also glad that you were okay and Bradley stayed to hang out for a while. It was pretty late when he left, and he tucked you into bed as a joke. He continued to text you on the way back to his dorm, which was halfway across campus.
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theemporium · 1 year
Note
idk if you’ve seen it but there’s a trend on TikTok of playing a voicemail of a creepy guy in front of your boyfriend and I feel like brothers bff!reader would have to literally console quinn after trying that prank on him. boy would be murderous.
thank you for requesting!🫶🏽
.
It was just meant to be a prank. 
A friend had sent you it, laughing at the compilation of reactions the video included to the fake voicemail. It was entertaining seeing how these men reacted differently, or seeing how many of them instantly became protective of the woman in their life who played the fake voicemail. 
You thought it looked fun to try out. 
It was some random week in October when you decided to fly out and spend some time with Quinn. It was reading week back in college and you had worked pretty well at staying on top of your classes, so you deserved the treat to fly out and spend some time with your boy. 
And other than the practices Quinn had to attend, he was practically glued to your side the rest of the week which made it easy to pull off the prank on a Thursday morning when you were sitting on the counter as Quinn made you both coffee. 
“Oh god.” 
“What’s wrong?” Quinn asked, his back still facing you but the disgusted scoff gave him a clear understanding that you weren’t happy. 
“Nothing, just an annoying lab partner,” you murmured, pressing your lips together to try and hold back your giggles. “I think he left me a voicemail.”
Quinn didn’t get much of a chance to say anything before the voicemail started. You watched him closely, the way his actions paused as he began to listen. 
“This is the final chance I am giving you. You are being ridiculous, and like most women, not thinking logically. Consider this your last chance to put your emotions aside and think with your brain.”
The coffee was abandoned in seconds as Quinn whirled around, looking at you with an expression mixed between shock and disgust. He placed his hands on the counter, stepping towards you as he continued to listen to the voicemail. 
“I am a good guy, one of the best you are going to find. So, I suggest you stop playing this hard-to-get game because nobody is believing you. You won’t find anyone better than me, not at college and not in bed. I have reservations for Friday night at the Italian place off campus. I expect you there and—”
“Absolutely fucking not,” Quinn gritted out between clenched teeth, a disgruntled scoff leaving his lips as he reached for his phone. “Give me a name.”
You blinked, almost surprised by the expression on his face. You didn’t think you had ever seen Quinn so angry before, not even on the ice. 
“A name,” Quinn repeated as he looked over towards you, eyes darkened and jaw clenched. “That is…he’s a fucking pervert. And a creep. I don’t want him near you. I don’t want him in the fucking college.” 
“Quinn—” you started, but he was lost to his own anger now.
“I’m gonna make sure he’s kicked out and sent somewhere far fucking away from you. Better yet, we can get a restraining order,” he continued as he scrolled through his phone, his eyebrows furrowed together as he searched for something. “I don’t want you going back with him just walking around. Does Luke even know? Does anyone—”
“Quinn,” you said again, a little louder this time as you rounded the counter to gently take ahold of his hands. You slowly pried the phone from his hands, a sheepish expression on your face. “He isn’t real.”
He frowned. “What? Babe, you don’t have to protect him—”
“I’m not protecting anyone, Quinn, I—” You took a deep breath before you continued. “It was a prank I saw on Tiktok. People were posting their partner’s reactions and I thought it would be funny.”
“Oh,” was all Quinn seemed to say.
“I’m sorry—” But you cut yourself off when he launched towards you, wrapping you in a tight hug as he clung onto you. Your arms automatically wrapped around his torso, nuzzling yourself further into his chest.
“You’d tell me if something like that was really happening, right?” Quinn murmured against the top of your head. 
“Of course,” you answered honestly.
“Good,” he said with a small sigh, his arms tightening around you. “I’d kill any fucker that makes you uncomfortable.”
You snorted. “It was kinda hot seeing you get all protective.”
“I’m glad you think as much because even though I know it’s fake, my body hasn’t caught on yet so I am not letting you go for the next hour,” Quinn murmured, though you could hear the smile in his voice.
“I have no issue with that,” you replied honestly, biting back your own grin as he placed a kiss to your forehead.
.
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sehnsuchts-trunken · 2 years
Text
Not A Coincidence
Bradley Bradshaw x Penny’s niece!reader 3k words
summary: It’s not a coincidence that you turn up at the Hard Deck for a beach day. It’s not a coincidence either that you end up inside the bar all alone with Rooster. And after what happened on Tuesday, well...  
fair warning: allusions to smut. no smut in itself. 
a/n: this is my first bradley oneshot and i am so fucking scared imma fuck up but yknow. we’re vibing. also the jake slander in this is all fun and games. i love him. 
main piece to “Tuesday Night”, “ Rooster At 5, Bradley At Night" and “Take Me On A Joyride”, can be read seperately tho
top gun masterlist
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You were early. Too early. Much too early, considering it was currently 10am and your shift began at 5pm. But here you were, sunglasses high on your nose, bikini on under a loose shirt, straw hat on your head, towel and sunscreen in your bag on the passenger seat. 
It wasn’t a concidence that you’d decided on coming early for a beach day. It was far from that, actually. And you hoped, prayed, begged that Penny wouldn’t let it slip, that she wouldn’t rat you out. Because if she did that, you were not sure you’d be able to handle the teasing that would follow. Of course she wouldn’t want anything bad for you - just a little push in the right direction, she’d call it, and smile that smile of hers that had you and Amelia giving each other the side-eye every time.
But you’d have to take that risk. 
Because you sure as hell weren’t missing out on this shit. 
And it was all Penny’s fault in the end anyway. Penny’s fault because she was here on a Thursday morning, Penny’s fault because she was sitting outside, Penny’s fault because she just had to send you a picture, didn’t she? God damn her. God damn her for being your aunt. God damn her for not sending you that picture earlier. 
You grabbed your keys a little too tightly as you turned off the ignition and pushed the door open and close again with a bit too much force. One deep breath. Then another. You needed to calm down. 
You didn’t bother with the front door - if you could save the time it’d take to find the keys in your bag, you absolutely would - instead walked around to the tables at the back. This side of the Hard Deck was hardly ten metres away from the beach, so the second you rounded the corner, you stood, frozen in spot, and watched the picture Penny had sent half an hour ago become reality. 
And reality was much better than the crappy photo in any and all ways imaginable. 
The squad was all shirtless, all greased up, running after two balls, tackling each other, sand sticking to every inch of exposed skin, sunglasses on and drenched in golden light. It was like a scene straight out of some summer rom-com - actually, no, it was pretty much like a scene coming straight out of some soft porn. Unfurling right in front of you. 
Oh, you were in trouble. 
Especially the moment anyone spotted you. And they would. They fucking would if you didn’t move it right about now. 
As quietly as you could - and as invisible as possible, which was harder - you walked up to Penny, keeping your eyes firmly planted on the aviators rolling around in the sand. You were pretty fucking sure nothing would ever top this moment right now. Thirteen of what had to be the most attractive people on the planet tan, sweaty and half-naked? Yeah, there was no way in hell it would ever be any better than this right here.
You only glanced away for a second to sit down next to Penny, to take a look at the blank Sudoku in front of her. You snorted. 
“Looks like I’m not the only one who dropped everything to get here”, you said, eyebrows raised, put your bag down next to you and looked back at the beach where Phoenix was just throwing her arms into the air to celebrate something you guessed was a good thing for her team. Hangman looked livid. 
“What can I say?”, she chuckled. “Even an old woman can enjoy some eye-candy sometimes.” 
“You’re saying ‘old’ like you actually are.” 
“Well-” 
She was going to argue, like she always did (you’d had this conversation a ton of times already), but before she could, Maverick came jogging up from the beach to a little chair he must’ve brought for himself. He waved in your general direction. You knew better than to think it was actually meant for the both of you - you were aware enough of the history of his ‘relationship’ with Penny to not be that arrogant. It always went the same: the two of them stumbling across each other every few years, with the exception of the half decade when she’d been married, they hooked up, they had a great time for some weeks, maybe even some months, then Maverick got himself into some kind of trouble and had to move across the country, leaving behind Penny and her broken heart. 
As he sat down to keep watching the game, you realised that you’d been spotted. Someone had noticed Mav’s wave, had seen not only Penny, but you too, and well, you were fucked now. You were fucked because it was Rooster who’d spotted you. Rooster who had a shit-eating grin on his face as he peeled his sunglasses off and made eye contact with you. Rooster who you knew was smart enough to connect the dots, to figure out that you being here wasn’t some coincidence. Rooster who probably realised you were checking his team out - checking him out - even all the way down the beach and through your sunglasses. 
But who could blame you? 
Hell, he looked gorgeous in his dumb Hawaiian shirts and jeans already, you weren’t particularly shocked that he looked even better without them. 
He waved at you. Waved at you to come over. To come join them. 
Within a few seconds, the rest of the aviators were catching onto his idea, were looking at you sitting there watching them, were following his example and waving at you to come down. You bit the inside of your cheek. 
You’d thought that if you were sneaky, careful enough, that you’d be able to just sit here and stare at them, watch them play, admire them for a while. Maybe pretend to read a book if they were to spot you after all. But, no, of course not. Of course Rooster had to demolish your little plan, crumble it up into nothing. Curse him. 
You sighed, but you knew the squad well enough by now to understand that you had lost. You had no choice but to do what they wanted you to do - they’d find a way to force you anyway if you didn’t do it willingly. 
Penny’s laughter in your ears, you got up and made your way down to the beach, arriving to a chorus of cheers that had you grinning and bowing. You could very well just play this off as some funny coincidence as long as Rooster kept his mouth shut. But with the way he was grinning at you, you were doubting he would for long. 
“I gotta admit I feel a little insulted that I wasn’t invited to your private beach-party”, you said, letting your eyes rake over Rooster with no concern whatsoever for being caught. You had sunglasses on. Nobody could prove you were doing a damn thing. And he was just too attractive for his own good, too attractive to ignore, too attractive not to look.  
“In our defense”, Phoenix said, still a little breathless from the game, and held both her hands up. “We didn’t know we were even having a beach-party.” 
“You didn’t even know?”, you asked. 
“Mav took us by surprise. Only told us this morning.” 
You snorted, interrupted before you could reply by a ball landing at your feet. 
“You playing, Junior?”, Jake shouted, making sure to flex his arms just short of ridiculously. If he weren’t Jake and you weren’t you, you’d probably be super into him, more turned on and less annoyed, but this way you just rolled your eyes and flipped him off. 
“First of all, Texas boy”, you yelled. “Quit calling me that or I’ll cut your fucking dick off. With some elementary school scissors as well because that’s all I’d need. And also, you know I hate sports, the mere fact that you’re suggesting I move any more than necessary is laughable.” 
You heard Phoenix and Rooster snicker as Jake laughed and threw you a sloppy salute. 
“Whatever ya say, Junior.” 
Junior. How you despised that goddamn nickname. Mainly because it didn’t make sense anyway - you weren’t even Penny’s daughter, you were her niece. They’d make more sense calling Amelia Junior. But no, it had caught on, and now you were just short of slapping people every time you heard it.
You turned back to Rooster, swallowing hard as you forced yourself to keep your eyes on his face this time. 
“I’ll get you guys some drinks”, you said, smile tugging at your lips. “If, that is, you’re allowed to drink.” 
“A drink won’t kill us”, Phoenix winked, and then hauled the ball from where it still lay at your feet and charged at Jake. 
You chuckled. There was a heavy silence hanging over you and Rooster even after half a second, your sunglasses protecting you from too much eye contact and him holding it effortlessly anyways.
“You look good”, he muttered, his voice low enough that you knew none of the others heard it. A shiver ran down your spine. Your throat went dry. God, why had you got yourself into this? You should’ve saved the pic, thanked Penny and stayed home. None of this complicated shit. But well, seemed as though you liked it complicated. 
“Do I?”, you asked quietly, barely suppressing a grin. He made an acknowledging sound that almost had you throwing caution into the fucking wind and pulling him in for a kiss just like that. 
“I think I could use a helping hand”, you said instead, voice sounding more breathless than it probably should. “You know, with the drinks.” 
His lip quirked up at that, the indication of a smile that you were much too familiar with already. You swallowed. This man should not have this effect on you. But he did, and well, who were you to argue with god’s gifts? 
“I’ve always got a free hand for you, sweetheart”, he chuckled, his fingertips dancing across your upper arm. You sucked in a breath. 
He’d flirted with you before, yes. But ever since Tuesday, he’d taken it up a notch. You’d have expected something like this from Hangman, surely, but not from Rooster. Sweet Rooster. 
Not so sweet after all. 
“You’re unbelievable”, you muttered, shaking your head and looking down (a mistake, in hindsight, because that meant you were staring right down at his abs) to escape his eyes on yours.
“What, you don’t like these hands?”, he asked with a grin, his finger snaking just below the hem of your sleeve before he pulled back, holding his hands up in front of you and turning them around - palm facing you, back facing you, palm facing you. You could’ve slapped him. 
The thing was that he had really fucking nice hands. And you didn’t usually notice that. But his were big, his fingers long, so goddamn perfect on your waist, your jaw - useful too, you could imagine. 
“I like those hands carrying the drinks out”, you quipped. “Think the guys can make do without you for a few minutes?” 
He didn’t even take a look at the squad before raising his eyebrows. 
“Sure they can.”
You couldn’t help the grin on your lips as you turned and walked up to the Hard Deck, passing by Penny (with that annoying smile that told you She knew, she knew, she knew), only leaning down to tell her you were getting the squad some drinks before you were pushing open the door, stepping behind the bar and getting out a tray. You set it down on the wooden bar top, put a bunch of shot glasses onto it and got out a bottle of vodka, only looking up when you heard Rooster laugh.
“And here I thought I was getting my hands dirty after all.” 
You snorted, resting your palms against the edge of the bar and leaning closer over to him. It was dark, light barely flooding in through the windows with the shades down, especially with your sunglasses on, and you really should have taken them off, but the sweet advantage of Rooster not knowing where you were looking was a bit too sweet to give up just yet. 
He looked good even in this dim light. One arm on the bar top, his face turned to you, his sunglasses still up high in his hair. Usually he’d hook them into his shirt, but - well, he wasn’t wearing one. A layer of sweat was covering his entire torso, droplets dripping down his neck. 
“You” - you pointed a finger at him - “are a cruel, cruel man.” 
He leaned just a bit closer, grin playing on his lips, and your breath caught in your throat as he raised a hand, prying your own sunglasses off of your face. Carefully, slowly, paying close attention to not hurting you. 
“Now is that good or bad?” 
He folded the glasses, put them down next to the tray and caught your gaze. For the first time today, you were actually looking at him. Your teeth dug into your bottom lip all on their own. If he knew about even half of the power he had over you, you were fucked. 
“Well for me”, you grinned, not daring to do anything but stare right back at him. “For me, that could be very good. Depending on what you define as good, Bradshaw.” 
“Would be beneficial if our definitions matched.” 
You let out a laugh and shook your head, finally breaking eye contact to turn around and get out another tray, another few glasses (bigger ones, this time) and a bottle of water. Drinks were well and all but the squad needed actual fluids in their systems that weren’t alcohol and as far as you knew them, they had not brought enough to even last them much more than a few hours.
“You’re a menace, Bradshaw, is what you are. And now help me get these drinks out.” 
You grabbed one tray, grabbed the bottle of vodka and maneuvered everything out from behind the bar, towards the door. Your pulse was a bit too quick, your breathing a bit too shallow, but you were fine considering what had just gone down. Considering you’d been in here alone with Bradley goddamn Bradshaw, the literal finest man on the whole planet, and had managed not to throw yourself at him. Even after what had happened Tuesday. Even after knowing just how heavenly he felt close to you. Even with how horribly obviously he’d been flirting today. 
You had hardly taken two steps away from the bar top when you were tugged back - an arm around your waist, the tray wobbling dangerously. You put the bottle of vodka down on the bar, hard, much too forcefully, to keep everything from clattering to the ground. You were good at your job, yes, but not even you could keep a tray of close to fifteen shot glasses safely on your arm when someone was purposefully tripping you up.
“Shit, you can’t just do that!”, you cursed, carefully steadying the tray and putting it down as well before you looked up at Rooster. He’d let go of you, but he didn’t seem guilty or regretful in the slightest, that grin still on his lips. 
“You really want to leave me here without making use of these hands?”, he muttered, so close to you now that you had to tilt your head back to look at him. You wanted to be mad at him. You so, so badly wanted to be. But he was making it way too hard. 
“With what those hands did already”, you hissed, poking a finger into his chest. “I don’t know if I want to find out whether the rest of what they can do is just as destructive.” 
He laughed, his hands back on your waist again suddenly, fingers splayed across your skin (the shirt was really, really thin after all and you felt like you were on fire wherever he touched you), pulling you flush against his front. Your palms came up to his chest to steady yourself and you sucked in a breath - sweaty skin beneath your fingertips, well-defined abs against your stomach. Most definitely god’s gift. Shit. 
“Changed your mind that quickly?”, he hummed, thumb tracing the hem of your bikini bottoms over your shirt. “Think I can recall you being very eager to find out two days ago.” 
“You kept track?”, you asked breathlessly, the question sarcastic but your tone - sadly - outing just how affected you were by all this. By his closeness, his touch, his words. Oh, you were down bad. He chuckled. 
“For such a pretty girl like you? Always.” 
He held you just a little tighter, pulled you just a little closer. You hadn’t thought it was possible. 
“Bradley”, you whispered, and something in his expression changed like a switch had been flicked in his mind. His fingertips dug into your hips. 
“Say that again.” 
You didn’t think your mind had ever been this absolutely blank as you looked at him, rolled his words around in your head, your lips parted and your eyes wide. 
“Bradley”, you repeated - had you ever said his name before? On Tuesday you’d kissed him, sure, but you’d both been tipsy and it had been 1am and you were pretty sure you’d called him ‘Roos’, even with his hands pinning you to his Bronco and your arms crossed behind his neck. “Kiss me again.” 
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from-the-clouds · 2 years
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texas sun - joel miller x f! reader - vol. vi
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chapter summary: you grow closer with sarah, and also with joel... pairing: pre-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader words: 5.2k chapter warnings: SMUT, 18+ ONLY - oral sex (m receiving). alcohol consumption. Some angst, but mostly fluff, references to divorces/getting remarried/stepparents. anxious thoughts. a/n: this chapter is probably the least heavy. s/o to @ay0nha for letting me yell at you about it, as always. lots of character/relationship/backstory for both joel and reader. i give reader a childhood nickname in this story, but it's not her actual name. also i made up a backstory for joel because he deserves it. hope you enjoy!
-June 5th, 2003-
“I think you missed a spot.”
“Yeah, that’s because you won’t hold still.”
Sarah scolds you for what feels like the hundredth time since you sat down. You feel a bit like a rambunctious child, and not so much a grown woman who has over fifteen years on her with the way she’s talking to you. To keep from giggling, you press your lips together tightly.
“You’re the one who begged to do this.”
“I did not,” she says, lacing mock offense into her voice – even with her head tilted down so you can’t see her mouth, you can tell she’s smiling. 
Sarah’s bent over your kitchen table, across from you, holding your thumb between two of her fingers. Meticulously, she’s painting a layer of pink, glittery polish on your nails. It’s been awhile since you started, and the near-suffocating chemical fumes of acetone and nail polish had grown so intense you’d already made her turn on the fan and open the window above your sink. It wasn’t really helping. And she’s got her face so close to your hand – laser focused – you’re a little concerned she’s going to poke herself in the eye. But you don’t dare correct her. This is a weekly ritual. Every Thursday night, you give each other manicures. It’s far more important to her, however.
“Oh my god, relax your fingers, you’re so rigid,” she reprimands you again.
“I’m sorry,” you apologize, a bit sheepish. You’ve been anxious, the energy having worked its way out to all your extremities, apparently. 
To be fair, you could do without this. You’ve never really cared about having your nails done growing up, and still don’t. They’ll look good for about two to three business days, and then they’ll chip. It’s always this way, regardless of what topcoat she puts on that claims it will make your nails last forever – maybe you’re just too rough with your hands. However, it’s the one thing Sarah doesn’t give you grief about, maybe because hers always chip, too. 
You keep letting her do it, though. Partly because she likes it so much – and it hasn’t gotten any easier to say no to her. The other part is reminded of what it’s like to be a kid again. When you were first sent away to school, you always kept your nails painted - a small act of rebellion, of self-expression after being forced into the same uniform day after day. When you’d come home on breaks you’d beg your brother to paint his nails, run down the hall after him with a bottle of polish. Vincent would never let you, but he would always find a compromise, which was usually a walk through Central Park, and paying for you to ride on the carousel. He’d stand off to the side, waving each time you passed. In those moments, you liked to pretend that things were normal, that there wasn’t a dark cloud lingering over you both. Because even then, you’d known. On the walk home, Vincent would let you hook your mittened hand in the crook of his elbow, and you’d tilt your head all the way back to look at the tops of the buildings, the sun poking through the clouds.
Sarah draws back from your hand, then releases it delicately to the tabletop, placing the brush back in the nail polish bottle. “There,” she says, screwing on the lid. You both lean forward to admire her work. “I’m getting better aren’t, I?”
“You definitely are,” you look at the obnoxious color – Aurora Berry-alis. It’s the exact opposite of anything you’d pick out for yourself, but you’ve been surprised at the compliments you’ve been getting at work from your coworkers whenever you are going over contracts or pointing out revisions. If anything, you think it might make them pay closer attention when you talk. You nod at Sarah appreciatively. “They look good.”
“I think you’re getting better, too,” she places her hands atop the table alongside yours, so you can compare. You’d painted hers the same color, because you always let her choose. Well, it’s less that you let her, and more that she tells you, and you know better than to argue. The first time she’d painted them, and you’d suggested a coat of clear, she had given you so much grief about how boring you were, that you had given in and let her do whatever she’d wanted. There is nothing more terrifying than a teenage girl thinking you are lame. 
“It’s always easier to paint someone else’s,” you answer. 
Sarah leans forward, and frowns when her eyes land on your thumbnail, the one with the scab at the base of it. “You really need to stop picking at your cuticles.”
“I can’t help it,” you say sheepishly. “It’s a bad habit.” Particularly when stressed, you want to add, but you keep it to yourself.
“Well, it needs to stop,” she says pointedly, before planting her hands on the table and standing up. “I’m gonna get a ginger ale. Do you want me to get you anything?”
“Yeah, grab me one, too,” you blow on your fingers so they dry faster. 
Sarah disappears behind you, and you hear her rummaging through your fridge. “Do you not eat? Your fridge is basically empty.”
It’s only when she mentions it that you recall. “I do, I just forgot to go to the store this weekend.”
“How do you forget to buy food for yourself?”
“I’ve been busy.”
Sarah groans, and a few of your cabinets open and slam shut. “There’s no food here.”
“Oh my god,” you laugh. “I pretty much only buy stuff for you anyways, at this rate you might as well start chipping in on the grocery bill.”
“You sound like my dad.”
At the mention of Joel, you stiffen. 
Things have been a bit of a blur for the past few weeks. Between both of your work schedules, it’s been difficult to see one another, and even when you’re free – it has to be when Sarah’s away, which doesn’t happen often. And if she’s not in her own house, the second most likely place for her to be is at yours – so that makes it even more complicated. And both of you have agreed that she can’t find out. Because of that, you’ve only seen Joel a handful of times. 
“How is he?” you ask, nonchalantly. It’s a question you have asked her a hundred times before, just like you’ve asked after her best friend from school, Jennifer, or her grandparents, her Uncle Tommy – anyone from her life she talks about regularly. For some reason, you’re still expecting Sarah to hear these three words and sense that you’re not telling her something.
“He’s good,” she says, rustling through boxes. “Busy.” 
Yeah….busy. You could laugh when you think of the absurdity of the situation as a whole. There’s not a chapter in any of your self-help books that could teach you how to properly navigate it. So you’re left to figure it out for yourself, and hope you can without inflicting any permanent damage on her psyche. 
It makes you kind of nauseous actually. You knew her first. You were closer with her, first. It feels like a betrayal – and you’ve done enough of that in your life. This was supposed to be a way to start over, to do the right thing, but the sickness follows wherever you go.  You can’t stop it. What would happen if she found out? Would she be angry, mad, disgusted? She likes you, but as far as she knows, you aren’t romantically involved with her father. And that would certainly change things. 
Where it really gets problematic – you like Joel. So much more than you had expected. Well, maybe you’d been expecting it a little but not….like this. Of course, you know better than to be hopeful. Everything is still tentative, new. You’re figuring it out. It’s nice, at least, to savor the feeling while you have it, because it’s something you have felt so rarely.
All that considered, keeping it from her objectively is the right thing to do – for now. At least, that’s how you justify it to yourself.
“Actually he, uh, has been on a coupla dates lately,” Sarah returns to sit with a bag of stale Doritos and two ginger ales
“Really?” you ask, quirking an eyebrow, pretending this is new information. 
Sarah nods, and is careful to open both cans with the tip of a butter knife she brought over, so as not to chip her freshly painted nails. She speaks so nonchalantly, there’s no way she suspects anything. 
You test the waters. “How do you feel about that?”
“What are you, my guidance counselor?” 
You laugh first, and then she joins in, delighted by her clever joke. Once it fades, she surprises you by sobering up, quickly. “But uh….I don’t feel any way about it…I usually don’t care unless he introduces me to whoever he’s with.” 
“Oh yeah,” you say. “I remember when my dad did that. Always weird, right?”
“Always,” she repeats, sounding relieved that you understand. “But it doesn’t happen often. I think he’s careful. But things have just never felt….right. With any of them.”
“What, like, they weren’t nice?” 
“No, just….I could tell they didn’t really care…” she says. “About me….”
You want to tell her that’s not true. But you’d only be speaking for yourself, and this isn’t about you. 
“What about you?” she asks, and you realize you’ve been frowning. “Did you get along with your dad’s girlfriends when you first met them?”
“I mean, it wasn’t so much a meeting as it was my father introducing us and saying ‘Pixie, Meredith is going to be your stepmother,' and then that was that."
“Your stepmother’s name was really Meredith?” Sarah asks incredulously. “Like in The Parent Trap?”
You consider this, the realization hitting. “Yeah, I guess so,” and you both laugh. 
“Oh boy,” Sarah says. “Stepmom? If my dad gets remarried, I think…things would change…”
“How so?”
“What if she hates me? And then dad stops spending time with me? What if he has another kid, and they forget about me?” She pauses, but not long enough for you to shut it down without interrupting. “I mean, tell me what happened with your stepmom. Did you become an afterthought? ”
“Uh, well….” you wrinkle your nose. “I mean, yeah, but I was never exactly a priority to begin with.”
To you, it’s such a casual statement of fact, so at first, you’re not sure why Sarah looks so distraught by the response. “Oh, I- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to….” Her shoulders sag, just a little.
“Oh,” you wave your hand dismissively. “It’s fine. I’m fine. What I’m trying to say is from everything you’ve told me about your dad, and everything I know myself –” which is more than you think “– he would never let that happen.”
“Yeah, I know, I know,” she says, bobbing her head. “But I can’t help but think about it.”
“Those are just thoughts…” you offer. And you’re no longer even approaching this conversation with the context of being the woman who is with Joel. You just want to make her feel better. “Doesn’t mean they’ll come true.”
It seems to placate her. “Yeah. You’re right,” she nods, and takes a sip from her ginger ale. “I do worry about my dad, though. It’s just the two of us, and I know he gets lonely. And who knows, maybe someday he’ll end with someone I actually like. That could be fun,” Sarah smiles a little. “So long as they don’t boss me around.”
“Boss you around?” you ask, taking a sip from your own can and raising your eyebrows. “I wish them the best.”
“Shut up,” she says, then giggles. “But also…fair point.”
Suddenly, you sit up from where you’d been leaning back into the wood of your kitchen chair. And it seems like as good a time as ever to change the subject, because you’ve far overstayed your welcome lingering. “Oh, by the way, before I forget…stay right there, I have something for you.”
“What? What is it?”
You rise from your seat, and walk a few paces to the basket in the corner of the room. “You’ve got that camping trip coming up soon, and it gets chilly at night….” You dig through your knitting materials until you find what you’re looking for. Once you do, you place it in front of Sarah on the tabletop. 
“What? No way!” she exclaims, picking up the baby blue knit cap in front of her. “You knitted me a hat?”
“Yeah,” you say, a bit sheepishly. “I meant to wrap it but-”
“It’s so cute,” Sarah cuts you off. “Can I try it on?”
“Of course, it’s yours.”
She jumps up from her seat and saunters to the mirror that hangs above the credenza just inside your front door. You follow her, standing behind her as she tugs the hat over her head. “What do you think?”
“Here,” you murmur, reaching over her shoulder to brush a piece of hair from her eyes, tucking it under the beanie, and pulling it further down in the back so it covers her ears as intended. Then you both look in the mirror. “I like it. Do you like it?” 
“Yes,” she says, incredulous. “I can’t believe you made this for me.”
“I’ve hardly been knitting lately because it is so hot here. And you’ve been talking about how excited you are for this trip since I met you, so…it only felt right.”
Sarah whirls around quickly to wrap you in a hug, and you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror behind her – arm across the back of the pink hoodie she’s wearing. There’s a vague sense of longing in your expression, and you wonder what it might have been like to have someone in your life who could have given you the things your parents never did. Maybe there’s still a way to right all the wrongs. And not just for yourself.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
-June 6th, 2003-
“Come in!” 
You’re closing the oven when you hear the knock on your screen door. It slams shut, and you peer through the entrance of your kitchen to the front foyer – just to make sure you haven’t invited an axe murderer into your home. 
The concern is fleeting, because you see it’s just Joel, bent over, untying his work boots and slipping them off. You like to think of yourself as easygoing, but you don’t allow him to wear them inside the house. All it took was some side eye the last time he’d tracked dirt all over your clean carpets, and then you never had to ask him again. But really, it was a minor inconvenience compared to some of the shit your past boyfriends had pulled. For example, this past year you actually had to utter the sentence ‘I don’t want you stashing your coke in my underwear drawer’ out loud to a grown man. So, even if the bar was so low you could step over it – and hardly bend a knee – it was something you had learned to appreciate about him.
You’ve made a roasted whole chicken – which is surprisingly easy, and mostly involves root vegetables and a lot of butter. Then it just cooks in the oven. It’s sort of your go-to when you actually decide to cook, but it’s too much food for one person. But you like that if you make it at the beginning of the week, you can eat leftovers for several days after. You hope Joel will appreciate it – not that you are trying to impress him, well, who are you kidding? You definitely are. It’s just one of those things you are ashamed to admit to yourself. 
You turn to the sink, pulling off the yellow rubber gloves you’d bought to wash dishes in – in an effort to preserve your manicure. “Hey,” you say, when you hear his footsteps shuffling behind you. 
“Hey,” Joel answers, and before you can turn, his lips are on your cheek, his hand on your shoulder, and he takes in the scene of your kitchen. “Would you like some help?”
“I’m good,” you look around. It was maybe a little messy, but the dishes were soaking and all you have to do is wipe off the countertops. It tends to happen when you cook. You’re not great at mise en place. Still, you have a system, and it works for you, and it stresses you out to have helpers in the kitchen. “Everything’s in the oven already.” 
Turning finally, you take Joel all the way. He looks tired. Shoulders slumped, hair mussed. You reach out, pull a piece of sawdust out from one of his waves, flick it into the sink. “Why don’t you go sit in the front room?” you ask him. “I’ll be in, just give me a second.”
He’s been busy, putting in extra hour into his first contracting gig, and it appears it’s starting to take its toll. 
“Okay,” he nods, hesitant, stepping back. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Joel settles onto your couch with his hands over his face. He’s upset with himself. For as much as he likes you, he’s barely seen you since your first date – and tonight, the one night he gets the chance, he’s utterly spent. 
He rubs his eyes, looks towards your record player in the corner of the room, some melancholy jazz playing over the speakers. In the kitchen, dishes clink together, and a cabinet shuts lightly. Joel lets his head loll back against the plush cushions of your couch, savoring the only peace he’s felt all day.
“Dinner’s almost ready,” your voice cuts in, and Joel doesn’t know how you had snuck up on him, but when he peers up at you, standing over him, you’re holding out a frosted tumbler. 
The floral apron you’d been wearing when he first came in is gone, so he sees more clearly the blush button-down you’ve paired with khaki slacks. Your hair is clipped back from your face, reading glasses on your head. He thinks of your coworkers who get to see you looking like this everyday, and gets a little envious. “What’s this?”
“A drink,” you say. “I thought you might need one.”
“Is it that obvious?” He feels a little guilty that it’s so clear to you what’s wrong, and you’ve barely spoken yet. Despite everything, Joel can’t help but feel warm, accepting the beverage graciously. The thin layer of ice coating the outside of the drink melts the second his fingers wrap around it, brushing against your own. 
“Only a little,” you give him a soft smile before clinking glasses.
It’s some kind of whiskey, served over ice and it’s fucking good. It goes down far too easy, and he immediately takes another pull. You settle next to him while he does, but not so close that you’re touching. Joel is no stranger to how tentative you are with him, still. But he likes you regardless. He’s holding something fickle in his palm, and he understands he’d better hold still so as not to break it. 
“Long day?” you ask, and reach out to trace your knuckle up his arm absentmindedly. 
“Yeah,” Joel murmurs. “Things just keep goin’ wrong.”
“And you’re the problem solver now?”
“Something like that,” Joel says. You’d already drilled him about the ins and outs of his job awhile back. Being a contractor, while it’s a step up from his last job, and makes him more money – is much more demanding. People actually answer to him, now. 
“I’m sorry…that sounds stressful,” you empathize. “I’m sure you’ll get a handle on it soon enough.”
Joel nods. Even if his brain has been telling him otherwise, he’s inclined to believe you. 
Carefully – but not at all hesitantly, you reach out, hand curling around the back of his neck. Its the same one you’d been using to hold your glass so it’s comfortingly cool against his skin – still heated from a day spent under the sun. Joel feels his heart rate pick up as you move in closer. When your lips connect with his own, the kiss is gentle, affectionate. A proper greeting. 
A flash of something, white hot, swipes up the sides of his neck, into his face. He’s a little embarrassed at the effect your touch has on him. Everything is still so new. And he’s hardly gotten the time alone with you to get it out of your system.
You deepen the kiss, it becomes deeper, more sensual, and he feels the switch flip. Almost as though you can sense his arousal, your hand slips down, swiftly unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. Your mouth never leaves his, you never pull away to look down, and he’s hard by the time you cup him through his underwear. And he’s still so taken aback he can’t stifle the noise he makes – directly into your mouth.
Your fingers hook through his belt loops to shuck his pants and underwear down, and the comfort of your body pressed against him disappears. Blinking open his eyes, he reaches out to pull you back. “What are you-” he cuts himself off when he sees you kneeling between his parted knees. 
In response, your hands plant high on his thighs. “What does it look like?” you ask, your chin tilting back, eyes glimmering.
Oh. 
“May I?” So polite, considering the offer. 
Joel nods wordlessly, and he watches you lean forward. His eyes squeeze shut right before you take him in your mouth – because he knows if he doesn’t ease his way into this, he won’t last. 
You don’t waste time teasing or kissing or anything like that. You’re not gonna drag things out. Maybe it’s because dinner’s in the oven and your time is limited, or maybe this is just how you are.
He aches, and in one go, you wrap your mouth around him and take him as deep as you can, he feels your throat constrict when you can’t go any further. Then, you do it again, again. It goes on that way, until he’s coated with saliva and the slide of your lips up and down the length of him feels as soft as the silk of your shirt, which he’s unintentionally fisting, trying to hold back. 
Your hands squeeze his thighs, massaging them gently while you work diligently. It’s fast, but not so fast he can’t enjoy himself. Sloppy, but he prefers it that way. It’s perfect. He thinks you’re fucking perfect. 
He decides he has to see you, watch you, and leans back to take you in more fully. One of his hands rises to slip under your chin, angles your face so your eyes lock with his own.  “Look at me,” he says, a little press to get you to engage. He’s learning how to push you– just enough to get what he needs without scaring you away. And he’s rewarded when you moan around him, the vibration around his cock only bringing him closer to release. 
“Such a sweet girl,” he murmurs, and you groan again at the praise – he relishes in how well he’s getting to know you, learning what gets you off – in the short time you’ve been together. “You look so pretty with your mouth full.” 
Then he moves his hand to sift into your hair, collecting it gently at your nape so it stays out of the way, and he can gently guide you along.
You pull off him for a moment, your breathing ragged, lips swollen and wet. You look so good, out of breath and overworked all just to please him. And you don’t relinquish all contact, your hand replacing, your mouth so you can jerking him off, twisting slightly at the top and letting your thumb run over the head of his cock. “You work so hard, Joel,” you mumble. “Just want to take care of you.”
“Fuck,” he growls at the words. Words he’ll remember on nights when you aren’t lying next to him in bed. He’s got to hold out a little longer, just to see what else you might say. 
It’s all you offer, though, because you wrap your lips around him once more. 
He’s getting close. It wasn’t going to take much to begin with – but it’s the first time you’ve ever gone down on him, it’s been a long day, everything is compiling together to make him feel hotter and hotter, the pressure at the apex of his thighs reaching its precipice. One of your hands leaves his thighs to cup his balls, the other working the part of him your mouth doesn’t reach. He loses all his composure, his head falling back as his hips roll forward, choked sounding phrases leaving him. “Keep going, baby – just like that– so fucking good–”
You obey, because of course you do, and before he knows it – he’s coming, hard. You don’t pull back at all, just swallow him down as he pulses down your throat.
Joel covers his face with his hands and tries to steady his breathing, thoroughly spent. He’s fucking hungry, still, but at this rate, he may fall asleep soon. Warm palms land on his chest. For a moment, he’d nearly forgotten where he was.
“You good?” he opens his eyes to find you hovering over him, amusement in your expression.
“Yeah, yeah.” He chuckles, reaches out. “You can’t be fucking real,” he murmurs softly, hand on your cheek. 
“Oh,” You pull back to retrieve your drink and take a sip. “I’m very real.” 
“Come here.” He rasps, pulling you forward into a kiss. 
When he attempts to deepen it, you pull back slightly. “Hey, uh…dinner’s gonna be ready any minute.” 
“Oh?” Joel asks. 
“Yeah,” you nod. “And I’m actually….well I’m actually kind of proud of it, so maybe we shouldn’t get too distracted.” 
“Really?” Joel settles on pulling you against his chest, and you settle there easily. He’s hit in these moments with the awe that you let him this close, that you’re willing to do even more for him, you already have. “Sarah told me you can’t cook.”
“What?” you say incredulously, your head lifting off his chest. “That’s not true. I can, I just don’t.”
“You seemed to know what you’re doing.” 
“I do,” you say confidently, then grimace. “Well, I mean, I can follow a recipe.”
Joel laughs. “I’m sure it’ll be good.” Your head goes back against his chest. He’s careful not to disturb you too much when he reaches for the remainder of his whiskey. “What is this?”
“Dunno,” and instead of reaching out for your own glass, you bring the hand that holds his own down to your lips to take a sip. He strokes your hair, watches you. “Bourbon.”
“It’s good,” Joel says, and drinks again. He wants to down the glass, then steal from yours like you did to him, but it tastes expensive. 
You continue on. “A client gave it to me today for some pro-bono work I did. It’s probably meant to be served neat, but….it’s too hot for that.”
“Nice of you to help them out.”
You make a noise of affirmation, almost dismissive, and Joel continues on.  “I should be doing more of that sort of thing.”
“It’s alright,” you shrug.
“You know I…..” you trail off for a minute, like you’re trying to decide if you want to share something with him. “All I do is work for corporations all day. I have to be kind of….manipulative? Self-serving. It’s a little exhausting. It’s nice when I can use my skills to actually help people, you know?”
“Can’t really picture you being manipulative,” Joel let’s his thumb graze over your cheek. 
He thinks you might laugh, but instead you pull back, your expression unreadable. It’s easy to see that you’re studying him carefully, and he strokes your arm, giving you the space to continue. “You should know I haven’t always been the best person, Joel. No one has ever really looked out for me, so….”  you trail off. “But I’ve been trying. To be better.”
You say it like you’re not convinced. Like you’ve been told it’ll never be possible. Joel gazes tucks your hair behind your ear reverently. “Wherever you’re at right now,” he says. “Is plenty good for me.”
“Yeah well,” your eyes flicker away – maybe it was too much. “Helps that I’ve been spending all my time with you and Sarah.” You smile gently, then change the subject. “Did you see, she did my nails?” 
Joel looks down at your hands. 
“What do you think?” you ask. 
“They’re very….pink.” 
“They are.” 
Joel is thankful that Sarah has an outlet that’s not himself for something like this. He tries to imagine what it would be like to show up at work with his nails painted, and knows that he’d get shit for the rest of his life. “Better you than me, I guess.”
“Don’t give me any ideas.”
He laughs. 
“Where is Sarah, tonight, anyways?” you ask Joel. 
“My parents take her out for dinner at the end of every school year,” Joel says. 
“Oh,” you seem a little surprised by the mention of his parents. “Do they live nearby?” 
“Not too far,” Joel says. “About an hour and a half drive out of the city, close to Fredericksburg. They’re on a ranch….out in the sticks.” 
“Is that where you grew up?” 
“Yeah,” he can’t help but smile to himself. “It’s different now, but….my parents owned a strawberry patch.” 
“Are you serious?” 
It seems like a different lifetime ago, but Joel still remembers it all so vividly. The busy spring season, visitors from the city flocking to his family’s little farm in the middle of nowhere to pick the ripe fruit straight from the vine. His father had taught him how to mend fences and keep the pests away, and his mother taught him how to tend to the plants, to prune and nurture. “Yeah.”
“Yeah.” Joel shakes his head, continuing to recall. “Tommy and I would always try to sneak as many strawberries as we could without our parents noticing,” Joel recalls. “And then inevitably eat so many he’d make himself sick, then we’d both get in trouble.” 
“Oh my god,” you shake your head in disbelief. “This doesn’t sound real. I need photos.” 
“I have them…somewhere,” Joel says, and he’s sure they’re buried in a box in the back of his closet. 
“It sounds so…idyllic,” you say, shaking your head. Joel had never thought much of it. Of course, when you’re a kid, your perspective is so narrow. Maybe he didn't realize how good he had it, and he supposes, to the right person, it might sound like a lie. It dawns on him that you're both so fundamentally different, but it doesn't feel that way.
A timer dings in the other room. 
“That’s the oven,” you say, shifting away from him and standing up. You offer him your hand to help him off the couch, and he bats it away, buttoning up his jeans before joining you. “Let’s eat.” 
Joel realizes that all the stress from the day has melted off, and he can’t even remember what exactly had him so flustered earlier. Right now, everything feels alright. 
---
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