#oh god now I have to wrestle with tuckers tag

[daretobeking]

behold. the promised tucker fanart

Proportions suck so hard but I’ll fix them later. probably

[savannah-lim]

Two For One Sacrifice Special || Dave & Savannah

Dave didn’t really know what he had signed up for. An ad in the local newspaper that he’d answered, asking for a local human sacrifice. “Find your peace today.” It had said, and the image with it had been a terrifying tangle of tentacles. This was some White Crest nonsense, alright, and Dave had wanted to understand what the hell was going on, that people felt so comfortable putting ads like that right in the paper. So he’d signed up, told them he was old and tired of living, which were both only partially true. He’d been sent some co-ordinates and a time - 7pm, under the waxing gibbous. Only problem was, those co-ordinates? Near something called the Devil’s Gullet. Dave didn’t like that one bit, as he waited. His coat oversized and loose, hiding his weapons. 

Cults, missing people, human freaking sacrifice. Those were the joys of White Crest. Savannah had retraced as many of Javier’s steps as she could. He’d made a pretty big deal about reading the paper every day, even if it did read like the tabloids that wrote about Alligators in the Sewers. That was where she had seen the ad. Human Sacrifice Wanted. Well… that couldn’t be good. But the spot had been filled, and so instead she had been calling the people who printed the newspaper trying to find as much information as possible. That didn’t lead anywhere either, so she tried something else. ‘Can I watch?’ It had taken a while before the answer came back. ‘Fine, we might need a backup.’ So now, here she was, unknowingly at the place where Javier had jumped to his death, armed with her government issued weapon. “Are you the…” she asked, approaching the other man on the scene.

“Sure am,” Dave replied, his eyes narrowed. She didn’t smell like anything too suspicious. She wasn’t a shifter, that was for damn sure, and if he could get closer, he might be able to feel if her heart was hammering. Still left him with a whole range of options. He breathed in deeply, catching the thick scent of coffee, and paper like she spent most of her time in the office. Printer ink, and alcohol still clinging to her clothes. More’n that too, but he wasn’t about to dig deeper into that particular spell. No weird herbs, or magic burning, no blood. Nothing. Weird as hell. “It just you, or are we waiting for a party?”

The evening light was enough for Savannah to make out the man’s features. He had a gruffness about him, a weathered kind of look. He struck her as someone who was very hands-on, who didn’t beat around the bush. She hadn’t finished her sentence. Was he the person who posted the ad or the one who answered it? “Party? Oh, no. This isn’t my idea of a party. My idea of a party is in a warm bar, music playing, maybe some dancing. Not a giant--” She gestured to the huge hole in the ground. “What exactly is this? Why did you answer the ad?” 

That wasn’t promising in the slightest. “That’s usually my idea of a party too,” Dave agreed, tilting his head to try to get a better read on her too. “Aren’t you the one who should know?”  Dave asked, his eyes narrowing even more deeply. “Hell if I know what this place is. I was sent the GPS coordinates and came right here.” He sighed, deeply. This could be a real problem. If she wasn’t part of them, then she might scare them away. Which’d defeat the whole point of putting himself in danger now, wouldn’t it. “If you weren’t the one who texted, why’re you here? D’you know who did text?”

Well, her guess had been right. “Me?” Savannah questioned, scoffing. “Oh, you think I’m the--” she laughed humorlessly, shaking her head. “Oh, no, I’m the back-up. The person who goes in the hole if you can’t make it or--” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “Don’t worry. It’s not going to happen.” She felt her badge from the inside of her jacket, but she wasn’t ready to show it yet. “Don’t know yet, but I’m going to find out.” She spoke normally again, in case they were being overheard. “I’m so excited. I’ve never seen an actual human sacrifice before.” She leaned as close to the hole as she dared, taking a look. “How deep do you think it goes?”

“Ah,” The actual fool in this situation, then, Dave thought a little unkindly. If she was here wanting to die, then he’d have to drag her out of here with him the moment shit went sideways. “Yeah, no need to throw you down there. Why’d you volunteer, if they already had someone?” He’d never even answered her question, but that was his prerogative. I wonder how you’d feel about salt. Dave groaned. That Dane kid was still stuck in his head too. Don’t send anyone out here, he tried to think loudly back at them, no idea if that would work. “Suspect I look the way most other humans look, not much exciting about me.” He didn’t quite hear what she said when she looked down the hole, but it didn’t matter ether way. “Think we got company.” He said, looking behind her, where two figures approached in deep red hoods, although to Dave they looked dark brown. It woulda looked impressive, if the hoods hadn’t come right from the costume store, literally. The price tags still hung on the hoods. 

"Why wouldn't I volunteer for something so exciting? I wanted to see what this was all about." It was only partly a lie. Savannah was probably a little more excited about the prospect of busting up a potential cult than she should have been. Of course, unlike Javier, she had the sense to send all the information back at HQ so she wouldn't just disappear without a trace if anything happened. She lifted her eyes to examine the figures as they made their way towards them. "More than one?" she huffed. She'd hoped it would be one person. It made things easier. But they didn't exactly look professional. "Oh, come on. No need for all that secrecy. Go back to Party City and get your money back. Take those things off."

“Right,” Dave said, because she was beginning to look more foolish by the minute. He didn’t have time to say more, as the two approached in their cloaks. They looked young, from what he could see of their jaunt and their long, bony profiles. “You’re not in a position to make demands, ma’am. He is the guy. David, right?” One of them said, and while his eyes were hidden, Dave could see a bad batch of angry acne on his chin. Dave didn’t even blink as they walked over to him, clasping his hands behind his back. He looked back over to the woman, hoping she wouldn’t do anything rash. He almost missed what Acne-Chin had to say. “Shit. He’s not human!”

Savannah’s disapproval was evident as they came close enough for her to get a better look at them in spite of the hoods. “Not in a position to-- Oh, come on. I’m not going to be ordered around by Zac Efron in High School Musical.” She furrowed her brow. Technically, she could have arrested them right now, but she wanted to see what they would do. Advertising for a human sacrifice, though very suspect, wasn’t actually against the law. Not unless she could prove they were going to actually kill someone. “Uh, excuse me? What do you mean not human?” 

Dave couldn’t help it, he snorted, trying not to take a liking to her when she’d volunteered herself to die. Still, the kid in the red hood wasn’t done talking, and Dave’d keep himself mild either way, trying not to curse as it revealed him. How the fuck did Acne-Chin know?“I can always tell. Her. We can use her. Can you get the circle going? I’ve got Dungeons and Dragons tonight and we gotta get this thing summoned before then or my grades’ll got to shit,” Acne-Chin said to his friend. A flap of wind caught his hood, briefly exposing the rest of his long, narrow face before tugging it back down. “Don’t worry old man, we’ll make sure you die either way.”

“Oh, no, you have to be able to legally drink to touch me.” Savannah stiffened, her features stern. Now that was enough. He’d made direct threats. Now was as good a time as any. There wasn’t going to be much more probably cause than that unless she actually let them throw this poor bastard into the hole. She reached for her badge, holding it up with one hand, brandishing her gun with the other. “FBI! Hands up, hoods down. You’re both under arrest for attempted murder.” 

The acne riddled kid was reaching into his pocket as he was speaking. Dave opted to watch him do it rather than understanding the threats, so when he aimed to stab Dave caught his wrist before he could even do anything. The woman was yelling something, and the two turned to look at her simultaneously, giving Dave the chance to twist the kid’s wrist hard enough for him to drop the tackily decorated knife he was holding. Acne-Chin wilted, and Dave stepped away from him as Acne-Chin raised his hands. He hadn’t understood her yelling, but he could read the badge alright. Thank god she hadn’t really wanted to be sacrificed then. Acne-Chin started panting, his eyes wild as he made a break for the… giant hole in the ground. Before he could get much of anywhere, Dave grabbed him and shoved him to the ground. “No use in running, kid. No sacrifice for you today.”

Savannah couldn’t help but be a little impressed as Dave wrestled the knife out of the adolescent hand of the young man. The other was still brandishing one though, and she had her weapon trained on him. “Uh-uh, don’t do it, Riverdale.” He turned his head to look over his shoulder at his friend, the one who had since been wrestled to the ground, and he sighed, dropping the knife. “Damnit, Tucker, you couldn’t check if you were inviting law enforcement here?” Savannah rolled her eyes and moved in to cuff them. “Save it for the police station.” She tossed a pair of handcuffs to the other man. “Not human, huh? So they’re crazy as well as murderers?” 

“Yeah, must be.” Dave lied, because like hell was he giving secrets to the FBI “Figured they were doing something weird ‘n’ creepy from the ad. Figured I was better at stopping them than some random hapless teen, you know.” Dave looked her over. “Turns out, the hapless person ain’t so hapless after all.” He wrestled the kid to the ground proper, yanking his hands behind his back, but the handcuffs were a little trickier to operate than Dave’d realised - he usually killed shit, he didn’t help cops with civilian arrests or whatever. All the while, it felt like the Devil’s Gullet was watching him, which made no sense, and made him want to get the hell outta here. He almost had the kid in the cuffs when the kid squirmed and yanked his arm free and reached into his pocket. Dave saw a round flask full of pink liquid, before it was thrown between him and the FBI lady, and exploded with a loud fizz. 

“Oh, so you didn’t actually intend to let them throw you into a bottomless pit with your hands tied behind your back?” Savannah challenged. Well, that was a damn relief. She’d had enough crazy for tonight. But it seemed that crazy hadn’t had enough of her. “Watch it! He’s--” but she never got to finish her sentence. She didn’t manage to get the frat boy cultist into the back of her car by the time the other had thrown the flask. The pink liquid turned to pink smoke, engulfing the space between them. Savannah spluttered and coughed, her vision blurred, her surroundings becoming fuzzy at the edges. She saw Javier in the smoke, surrounded by faces she didn’t know. They were blurred and dream-like, but Javier was clear as day. She saw him jump into the pit, and her scream to him fell on nothingness. He couldn’t hear her. 

Her head spun with an unspeakable language, like what she’d heard on Javier’s tapes, and out of the smoke, she saw squid-like tentacles reaching for her like desperate hands. She saw them mixing with Javier’s features, she saw him turn violent, and then her vision snapped back to normal. One teen had vanished in the smoke, and the other was still struggling on the ground having fallen there in the scuffle. “What the hell did you do to me, you little shit?” she snapped, and the boy gave the best shrug he could manage with handcuffed arms.

“Just showed you a little piece of the truth. What you do with it is up to you.” 

“Wasn’t on my plan for the day,” Dave snorted wryly, but he should have been acting so glibly as the potion began to fizz. He coughed and spluttered, but didn’t let go of Acne-Chin once. The smoke filled his eyes and nose, suffocating out the rest of his vision. He didn’t see what she did, didn’t see anything more than the deep fog surrounding them. Maybe it was some damn part of the spell the college students hadn’t expected him to show up for, but he didn’t comment on it. Acne-Chin struggled in his grasp right up until the second the fog faded into the air. Dave was left holding the cheap red hood, and nothing else. He looked up at the agent as she snapped, visibly rattled. “Shit. You alright?”

“Ugh, yeah, I’m fine,” Savannah grumbled, rubbing the back of her head and pulling herself up off the ground, wiping off his jeans. She was having a hell of a day. “Just made my head spin for a second.” She planned on grilling this obnoxious little shit about exactly what his friend had poisoned her with. She opened up her car door, placing her captive in the back seat and locking him in. “I’m going to take him to the station and Miranda him. I trust I’ll be seeing you there to take a statement.” Her tone indicated that wasn’t merely a polite request. “Freaking kids and their freaking death cults…” she mumbled to herself, gritting her teeth as she climbed into the front seat. This town was going to be the death of her. 

[happenable-blog]

WWE Raw - March 18, 2019: Highlights and Review

Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman open the show This week WWE Raw got opened with a promoas usual. What wasn't usual though, was that Brock Lesnar made an appearance on Raw after god knows how long. He got booed by the Chicago crowd as he made his way down the ring. Heyman starts the promo with his usual schtick introducing Brock Lesnar to us. He challenged the statements made by Rollins the previous week. He said Brock Lesnar defeated all the man that Rollins said he had a hard time with. In the end, he was the victor against Styles, Bryan and Balor. He hyped the main event of the show saying that what was Rollins thinking challenging a career killer like Drew McIntyre for a match days before his match with Brock Lesnar. This brings out McIntyre who is happy that he is finally getting the respect that he deserves. McIntyre suggests to Heyman that he must find another opponent for Brock because after McIntyre is done brutalizing Rollins, he won't make it to WrestleMania. Seth Rollins comes from behind and hit McIntyre with chair shots on the back. He looks at Brock and heads towards the ring with the chair in his hands. Lesnar just jumps out and leaves. This was a fine segment. It is always nice to see both the competitors hyping up their match instead of the same promo by only one of them. Also did a decent job to hype the audience for the main event of the show. Rating: 3.5/5 Finn Balor is out next. He will be in a tag team match with a mystery partner against Lashley and Rush. Blair grabs a mic and said that he wasn't a lucky Irish last week when he lost his Intercontinental championship match to Bobby Lashley. He said he wouldn't be a former champion for too long though. Lashley and Rush interrupt. Lashley poses with the title. Balor said he will get his hands on the title very soon. And his partner will get his hands on both them. Brain Strowman us revealed as Balor's tag team partner Finn Balor and Braun Strowman vs Bobby Lashley and Lio Rush Lashley and Rush dominate Balor. Balor gets very little offence in the match. The heels tried to avoid Baloe tagging in Strowman into the match. Strowman finally gets in the ring with Rush. He throws Rush across the ring before stomping him on the chest. Rush almost made a comeback when Lashley hit a spear on Strowman. But Braun kicks out after a frog splash attempt from Lio. Rush tried to run away but he is caught by Balor. Balor got shoulder tackled by Lashley, who got run over by Braun. Braun throws Rush into the ring for a chokeslam and then a running powerslam for the win. Winner: Finn Balor and Braun Strowman I am not that much invested in the IC title storyline. The match was fine. They are still booking Lashley to be strong. Balor barely got any offence in the match which is not great. Rating: 2/5 Backstage, Ronda Rousey is walking into the arena with her husband, Travis Browne. They walk into the referee John Cone who told Ronda that she is late. He also told her that in addition to the fine on Ronda, they have also increased security. Rousey just ignores and walks away. A Moment of Bliss w/ Elias Bliss hyped herself up as a great talk show host. She said she has inspired Lily Singh to be a talk show host before she introduces Elias. Elias comes out playing his guitar. He announces that he will be the headlining musical act at WrestleMania. He made some field goal reference which I didn't get. But the Chicago crowd did who booed him. He is talking about how if someone interrupts him at Mania he will... But before he can say anything else he is interrupted by the No way Jose's conga line led by Otus and Tucker. One of the members hit Elias and it was revealed that No way Jose was an intruder in his own conga line. Okay... No way Jose gets into the ring for a match with Elias. Elias vs No Way Jose Some back and forth action in the match. The crowd was dead for this one. The conga line tried to rally the crowd chanting his name but no one else made a sound in the arena. The finish came when Elias hit Jose with an elbow drop led by the drift away. Winner: Elias I guess this is a feud now. No one is interested in it but it is a feud. The match in itself was nothing special. Rating: 1/5 Kurt Angle announces his WrestleMania opponent Kurt Angle reminded us that he will have his farewell match at WrestleMania. He also said that his farewell tour will continue tonight. A "Thank You Kurt" chants by the crowd to which Kurt thanked the crowd back. He went on to thank the McMahon family to allow him to choose his WrestleMania opponent. And he announced that he will face the man who made his life living hell when he was WWE Raw General Manager. And that man is... BARON CORBIN. The crowd booed hearing his name. He said he will make Corbin tap out at Mania. Oh it's true... It's damn true. I will give this announcement and the following match separate rating. With all the dream matches that you could have had, with the roster depth that you had to choose an opponent for Kurt for his last match. They seriously went for Baron Corbin?! This is furious. The crowd booed not because he is a great heel but because we don't want to see this match. When Kurt said those line, that felt so scripted and badly acted too. Rating: 0.5/5 Kurt Angle vs Chad Gable Gable shaped Angle's hand and said that Angle is his hero. They did some technical wrestling in the ring. Kurt delivered a belly to belly suplex to Gable. Angle tried to go for the Angle Lock but Gable gets out and rolls him up for two. Kurt tried to hit three German suplexes but Gable got out of the second one and locks in Angle lock which got booed by the crowd. Angle gets out and tried to go for Angle Slam, Gable countered with a DDT. Gable went on the top rope for a moonsault. Angle moved out if the way and applies Angle Lock. Gable tries to fight but taps out. Winner via submission: Kurt Angle I will take this match over Angle vs Corbin at any damn time. This was not a great match. Just an average match with some spots. But still, Gable is a great wrestler and deserves much better. Rating: 2.5/5 Corbin comes out in a sea of boos by the crowd after the match. He said he will humiliate him in his last match. The crowd chanted for Cena. And I also wanted Cena to come out, but he is nowhere to be seen. In-ring interview with WWE Women's Tag Team Champions Boss & Hug connection Before the segment, Baron Corbin is talking to The Revival backstage. He is interrupted by Apollo Crews who challenged him for a match later tonight. He said that no one likes him to which he replied that The revival likes him. Revival just walked off saying "Hell no!" Carly Caruso is in the ring to interview Boss & Hug. She mentions that IIconics think that Banks and Bayley are ducking them by not appearing on SmackDown. Bailey announces that they will fight anyone. That's why they will appear on SmackDown tomorrow night and It'll be iconic, mocking the IIconic's pose. Natalya and Beth Phoenix interrupts them and gets in the ring. Beth said that Nia and Tamina ignited the fire inside her and now she is ready to step out of retirement to fight for the one thing that she has never held - The women's tag titles. Bailey and Banks cut a bit heelish promo on their opponents. They said that Competition is now evolved and Beth should take more time to prepare. This got heated and led to a mild brawl between the teams. Sasha Banks w/ Bayley vs Natalya w/ Beth Phoenix This was a short match. Both the women hit some of their signature moves. Banks is out recovering after a discus clothesline from Natalya. Nia Jac comes out on the stage. Nia mocks Beth and said she had accomplished more in her 3 years than Beth ever did in her career.. This was all a distraction as Tamina comes out from the crowd and throws Beth to the post before super-kicking Baykey and Banks to end the match. Winner by Disqualification: Sasha Banks Tamina ran away from Natalya back to Nia. They both laughed on top of the stage. Fine segment Beth Phoenix stepping out of retirement didn't feel like a big thing as we all saw it coming. The match was nothing. This was just to build a multi-team match at Mania, I believe. Rating: 2/5 Mojo Rawley is talking with himself in the mirror. I can't recall what he said. But I don't think it matters either. Ricochet vs Jinder Mahal w/ Singh Brothers Mahal dominated some of the match with chin locks and with the help of Singh Brothers. Ricochet made a comeback later he hit a running shooting star press. Mahal was pulled out by the Singhs. Ricochet got everyone with a dive on the outside. He throws Mahal in the ring and hit 630 for the win. Winner: Ricochet I hope this is not a feud. If it is it will be a lacking one. You can't even say it was a squash match as Mahal did get some offence in it. It was just there to showcase Ricochet's moves. Rating: 2/5 It was announced that Sue Aitchison will receive the warrior award at the Hall of Fame Ceremony. WWE Raw Women's Championship Match: Ronda Rousey (c) vs Dana Brooke Brooke had a backstage interview with Charly, who said that Ronda beat the likes of Becky and Charlotte and she is... Dana get what she meant and said that she might not be better but she needs to be better than Ronda for three seconds. The match starts. Dana blocked on a kick from Ronda but she caught Brooke with a jumping knee. She hit some more knees before applying an armbar for the win. Winner via Submission and still Raw Women's Champion: Ronda Rousey Rousey didn't let go of the armbar even after the bell rang. Dana was shouting in pain. She finally let go as a ref ran down the ring. She pushed him away and more security ran down. Ronda went to kiss her husband in the front row and slapped a security guy down. Travis pulled her in the crowd and calmed her down to walk away with her. This was more of a segment after the match than the match itself. I didn't mind the badass Ronda it is always good. I hope she just does it without reminding us that wrestling us scripted off TV. Loved how she just squashed Dana too. Rating: 3/5 Baron Corbin vs Apollo Crews Apollo dodged a slide out clothesline from Corbin. Corbin did his deadly move - the chin lock. He also hit his secondary moves like Deep Six but Crews kicked out. The crowd was chanting for Cena. Corbin went for end of days but Crews countered into a roll up for the win. Winner: Apollo Crews Not bothered by this match if they are working as they are doing a great job as I was bored by this match and hated them for this. Angle joined Crews on top of the ramp. Rating: 1/5 Interview with Batista via Satellite Michael Cole is conducting the interview with Batista who is live from Tampa, Florida. Barista said that he just doesn't like Triple H and he never did. Cole asks if it goes back to their Evolution days. He said it goes way beyond than that. He said Triple H just uses people to make him look good. Whether it was DX or Evolution. Cole asked why he quit in 2010. Barista replies he didn't quit. He was not getting opportunities that he deserved by his Boss Triple H. That's why he quit. He made a huge name for himself outside of WWE after that and become famous. He just hopes that Vince McMahon fires Triple H and end his professional career. At WrestleMania, he will end his in-ring career. He announced the interview to be over and demanded that camera crew got out. This was a great promo by Batista. He has just one goal and that is to end Triple H's career at Mania Rating: 3.5/5 Brain Strowman announced that he will be in the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal in a backstage interview. Drew McIntyre comes out to cut a promo before his match against Rollins. He said that he wants to talk to Joe the man, not Roman Reign. Joe, the father and the husband. He challenged him for a match at WrestleMania and said he may have been able to beat leukaemia but he won't be able to beat him. Rollins and McIntyre brawls midway in through the ramp as the match is going to start next. Drew McIntyre vs Seth Rollins There was action all around. Rollins avoided getting thrown to the steel steps and hits a moonsault, but Drew moved out if the way. McIntyre was going for a powerbomb in tge ring but Rollins countered with a hurricanrana. Rollins tried to go for a suicide dive on Drew but Drew caught him and throw him into the barricade. Later Rollins did two consecutive suicide dives on McIntyre and even hit him with his Superplex into a falcon arrow for a near fall. Rollins stomps his feet on the ring calling for the curb stomp. Before he could hit it Lesnar music hits and he comes out with Heyman to distract Rollins. As Rollins turns around to take care of Drew he ran straight into a Claymore. Winner: Drew McIntyre This was by far the best match on the show storyline wise as well as wrestling wise. I didn't like the booking though. You could have had Lesnar just laying out Rollins to end it a DQ or some way. I know you want to build Drew up for Reigns but you gotta build Rollins up as well. Rating: 3.5/5 This week's WWE Raw was very boring and frustrating tbh. It felt like a lot of fillers and boring matches. The bits I liked were the opening segment, Batista's promo and the main event. The rest was very poor. WWE Raw Rating: 2/5 Do let us know what you thought if WWE Raw this week. If you want to contact us you can do so here. Catch all the past WWE Raw Reviews here. Read the full article

[wrestlinghasmelike-blog]

Monday Night Raw Review: June 25th, 2018

Hey gang, it’s Monday again. I hope everyone had a great day/weekend. Today I got up really early and took my dog out and then watched the season 2 finale of Westworld (which got me FUUUCKED up, but that’s another story lol). 

Based on what my twitter timeline told me about tonight, it might be an interesting show? I’m feeling a little uninspired tonight about the show, personally, but hopefully, the show will prove me wrong.

Let me know what you thought of the show! Was it terrible, or did you like it this week? What was your favorite match? I’d love to hear from you, about anything! Thanks for tuning in and reading and sharing. I’m super close to 100 followers (like 5 away I think!) 

Sweaty Kurt Angle and Baron Corbin opened up the show tonight, only to be interrupted by Roman Reigns and Bobby Lashley, who have sort of an interesting feud brewing. They both believe that they have the tools to beat Lesnar, but apparently, there won’t be a match at Extreme Rules anymore to determine Brock’s new competitor because of his “contract”.

Basically what this means is that Brock didn’t want to wrestle and give his title up, so he called Vince and Vince said ok. Ugh.

I think this is the main reason Raw, and WWE for that matter, has been faltering for the past couple months. There’s no Universal title on the show, which means that no stories can be written around it, and new feuds can’t be built. It sucks, and it’s really starting to affect my watching, as well.

The Revival vs. Lashley/Reigns

This is a rematch from last week. Why do we need to see this again?

The Revival need to prove that they are still relevant, and it’s unfortunate that separate injuries have kept them at bay, and they haven’t really been given a chance to be on TV since their return. This was never a team I saw much of, their NXT days were during the time where I wasn’t watching, but from what I can tell about them today, they hit their peak back in NXT.

This match is just a chance for Bobby and Roman to show off their egos, which Bobby needs, at least. Bobby’s feud with Sami ended at MITB 2 weeks ago, and pushing him into a match with Roman, or Brock, could give Bobby the spotlight he needs. He’s a big guy, always has been, and he needs to be showcased as one.

This match had no momentum going into it, and while the crowd loves to boo Roman whenever they can, they are dead silent otherwise. It’s gone on too long, and either team needs to bring something different to get the show rolling. 

The Revival won with a roll-up on Roman? A little unbelievable? Roman losing on a small package is just hard to fathom, especially against a small guy like Dash Wilder, but at least the match is over. Next, please.

Curtis Axel vs. Woken!Matt Hardy

Ok, wait, why is this a great storyline now? Oh yea, because it’s actually interesting and funny and the superstars are selling it really well. 

But this match is over in a heartbeat before I can say anything else. 

Matt has been putting in time at the gym. He looks great right now. That’s it.

AoP vs. Local Talent

This is not a match AoP needs. Put them in contention for the title, not this.

We haven’t seen this team since their debut after Mania and I’m really wondering why! They were so dominating in NXT, and they’ve fallen short on Raw. I’m trying to remember if one of them was injured in their time off, but I can’t find anything that says so. 

Titus Worldwide came out, too. Does anyone care?

FINN MAKING FUN OF BARON OOOH

...but I’m not a fan of that tag match. I know Finn is just going to lose again anyway, right? 

Alexa Bliss vs. Natalya

In a super long segment before this match took place, Alexa and her friend Mickie James went off about Alexa not getting respect and thanking god for Ronda’s suspension. There was a long video package during this promo that took me out of the program, and it was basically just Alexa and Mickie picking on the crowd. Whatever.

Natalya came out with Nia and the match started.

A lot of weird moves and botches from Alexa. She did that standing double monkey flip over Nattie, and her knees are supposed to hit Nattie in the belly, but Alexa’s knees were nowhere near her belly at all!

Natalya was really putting on a clinic, debuting all of her best moves and ultimately, getting herself a win over the undeserved champ. 

Put Nattie back in the title race. 

6-Woman Tag- Riott Squad vs. Banks/Moon/Bayley

Ooh boy, are we actually getting the feud people have been asking for?

Last week, things between Bayley and Sasha finally exploded the way everyone had been hoping for, and this week, Kurt Angle says they have one more chance to get on the same page. 

Sasha does the Meteora too much. That’s my first thought.

Ember Moon is fantastic in the ring. God I love her so much. 

Personally, I’m tired of seeing the Riott Squad. All three women need to wrestle in singles matches more. The singles matches that they do always end with the other members of the team charging in and either distract the ref or attack the other woman in the match. It’s so played out, it’s tiring! It’s a trope that’s been played out too much.

Banks took the loss for her team, and Bayley straight up attacked her and threw her around the ring. The crowd loves it! Personally, I do, too! I feel like Bayley is always too much, but a heel Bayley is just what her character needs to find her way back to the top of the division. I think this has been a long time coming from Bayley. She had to endure years of being the weakest of the four horsewomen and being second best, and now she’s ready to show what she’s got!

The ONLY thing that ruined that moment was when her music played her out. It’s too preppy and happy for her recent actions.

No Way Jose vs. Mojo Rawley

I don’t care. I just don’t. And WWE is not doing a good job of getting me to care.

Strowman/Owens vs. Balor/Corbin

Well, after losing last week, Braun was tired of teaming with Finn and has decided to team with Kevin Owens tonight. 

As I’ve probably mentioned a lot over the past few weeks, I love Kevin Owens right now. His unofficial feud with Braun is hilarious, and Kevin sells it so well.

And in typical fashion, I am in tears while Finn makes his entrance. Maybe I should make a post about him soon. It’d probably be long as hell.

FINN ALSO LOOKS SO TAN?!?

I am also really loving Corbin’s new look. His hair needed to go so badly, and the suits that he wears are really doing better things for his character. I don’t love the fact that he’s basically corporate Kane, but it’s fine for now. 

Kevin tagging in Braun was so good. He just smacked him in the chest and ran. It was such a cartoon moment and I loved it.

Finn is finally being allowed in this match after Baron decides that he’s had enough. Kevin steals the momentum away from Finn and keeps him in a fierce chin lock. 

Braun just literally squished Finn in a corner and Finn just melted out of the ring. My god.

This match kind of exploded as Finn and Corbin couldn’t get along. They ended up fighting all the way up the ramp and got disqualified. I mean, at least Finn didn’t take the pin. I just wish they’d let him win a match for once.

Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler for the IC Title

After suffering a hard loss last week to Ziggler after a distraction from Drew McIntyre, Seth Rollins is looking to win back his title from Dolph.

I personally love this new angle. Dolph has been out of it for a while now, and the IC title scene is a great place for him to stay. Remember that feud he had with Miz about a year and a half ago? That was the greatest thing ever for Ziggler and Miz. 

This current storyline is rumored to lead to a huge battle between Drew and Dolph, which is set to skyrocket Drew to a top position. It’s mostly because Vince loves Drew, but it’s also because Drew is a massive star now, and he belongs at the top. I’d love to see a program with him and Kevin, or him and Braun, or Roman, or even Finn. 

Rollins seems to be controlling most of the match so far, but how long will it take for Dolph to fight back?

Not long it seems as Seth focuses on Drew for too long, allowing Dolph to get up tackle Seth. This is where Dolph’s collegiate-style will come into play as he finds a way to tucker out Seth Rollins.

This is exactly the kind of pace Ziggler likes. He keeps his opponents on the ground and wears them out with a headlock or a chinlock.

MICHAEL COLE JUST SAID THAT ROLLINS AND FINN ARE THE TWO OF THE BEST IN SHAPE WRESTLERS ON THE ROSTER WHO CAN HOLD A MATCH AND WHO HAVE BEEN PUTTING IN THE MOST WORK THANKS COLE YOU DID GOOD

Anytime Seth looks like he’s favoring a leg, I get super nervous. An injured Seth would not be good for business right now. I know he’s probably just selling it, but stilllll you guyssss

Rollins just reversed a whip on Dolph and he launched him into the turnbuckle, blasting Dolph into the corner. For a moment, it looked like Seth finally found his footing, but Dolph sent him over the top rope and crashing to the floor, hurting Seth’s wrist on the impact.

The match gets more aggressive as it continues, and the crowd is doing their signature “this is awesome” chant, which is something that Dolph hasn’t heard about his matches in probably a long ass time. 

Seth was about to win the match, an incredible match by thE WAY, and Drew came back and pulled the ref out to stop the count. Dolph will retain because of the DQ. Dammmnnnnn

...Roman made his way down to stop the attack on Seth. Are we getting Drew and Roman?? I’m here for it. It better not be a tag match next week, though.

I feel like the last half of the show went by really fast. I guess I’m kind of thankful for that, considering there were a lot of filler moments and matches during the show. I was fine with Raw tonight, no strong feelings either way. I don’t know if I had a favorite match honestly. Did you? Let me know!

Tune in for more!

Casey

[pcwpolwrestling]

Extreme Election Night 2018 Aftermath/Partial Shutdown Update

PCW NEWSLINE – 12/27/2018

Trump’s Surprise Trip to Iraq

Update on Shutdown (Red Brand and Blue Brand shows)

Extreme Election Night 2018 Results

New Universal PCW Champion

The Establishment, Sports Entertainment Corporation (SEC), and Corporate SportsEntertainment Programming Nation (CSPN) Up in Arms Over Universal Title Match

Progressive Alliance Not Happy Either

==

[A righteously indignant actress Alyssa Milano at a press conference.]

Alyssa Milano: Donald Trump is the first PCW CEO since 2002 not to visit our troops at Christmas-

PCW CEO DONALD TRUMP VISITS TROOPS WITH NEW CHAMPION RAY McAVAY PCW CEO Donald Trump flew to Iraq Christmas night with his wife Melania, new Universal PCW Champion ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay, and McAvay’s valets and West Texas Adult Entertainment Legends Dark (McAvay’s wife) and Stormy.

While in Iraq, Trump and his wife thanked the troops for their service and posed for selfies with the soldiers. Trump also signed autographs and several MAGA hats while he was there.

McAvay also thanked the troops and Dark and Stormy posed for pictures inside a hot tub.

A group of soldiers line up around a portable hot tub with Dark and Stormy inside. The ladies meet and greet the soldiers and pose for pictures. They also give away the official PCW Ray McAvay “Show Up. Clock In. Shut Up. Get to Work” t-shirt.

[Dark, her black hair wet and slicked back, gets ready to take a photo with a young soldier. Both ladies are wearing dark t-shirts and their Daisy Duke cut-off shorts inside the hot tub.]

[Dark puts her arm around the soldier.]

Dark: Say cheese!

[And the photo is taken.]

SHUTDOWN UPDATE No progress reported in ending the ongoing Red Brand/Blue Brand show partial shutdown. PCW CEO Donald Trump shows no sign of standing down anytime soon. Progressive Alliance leaders Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer show no sign of standing down anytime soon.

Both Pelosi and Schumer vow there’s no chance in hell Trump will get the security enhancements he wants at PCW shows. Trump vows no chance in hell he’ll reopen the Red Brand and Blue Brand shows until he gets the security enhancements.

So what happens when the proverbial unstoppable force meets the proverbial immovable object?

Oh right…we’re talking about business as usual in Washington D.C.

The only good news coming out of this is only two shows have been cancelled as a result of the shutdown: the final Blue Brand show of the year this past weekend in Boston, Massachusetts and the final Red Brand show in Charlotte, North Carolina.

‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann continues to call the shutdown an absolute joke that hurts the people ‘who make money for PCW.’ McMann again decries the amount of income to be lost because of the cancelled shows and again complains about the PCW Heartland Brand being allowed to continue to prepare to tape their new bi-weekly show and then embark on their first round of house shows in over a year.

The owner of PCW Heartland, Dawn McGill, had this to say: “after thirty years of both the high muckity-mucks of the American Patriots and Progressive Alliance ignoring the middle and lower echelon of the pro wrestling world, I find it refreshing that someone in authority actually seems to be looking out for them.”

She also added: “*BLEEP* Mr. McMann and the horse he rode in on.”

FULL EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2018 RESULTS OHIO SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Sherrod Brown (Progressive Alliance) defeats Jim Renacci (American Patriots)

NORTH DAKOTA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Kevin Cramer (AP) defeats Heidi Heitkamp (PA)

Fox News (Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson) defeat MSNBC (Rachel Maddow and Lawrence O’Donnell) and CNN (Don Lemon and Chris Cuomo)

MISSOURI SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Josh Hawley (AP) defeats Claire McCaskill (PA)

FLORIDA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Rick Scott (AP) defeats Bill Nelson (PA)

ARIZONA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Krysten Simema (PA) defeats Martha McSally (AP)

MICHIGAN SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Debbie Stabenow (PA) defeats John James (AP)

TEXAS SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Ted Cruz (AP) defeats Beto O’Rourke (PA)

UNIVERSAL PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Sports Entertainment Corporation: P.M.C. Banks and Charlie Blackwell (American Patriots) © defeat Union Jack and NPC (Progressive Alliance) and Weapons of Mass Destruction: A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (Independent)

HOUSE WAR GAMES MATCH: Progressive Alliance defeat the American Patriots

MAIN EVENT/UNIVERSAL TITLE MATCH: ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay (Independent/Les Miserables) defeats ‘Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit’ Kirk Walstreit, and ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism.

‘RED SOLO PLASTIC CUP’ RAY McAVAY IS THE NEW UNIVERSAL CHAMPION

MAIN EVENT: Extreme Election Night 2018 – Universal PCW Title Match

15th MINUTE [McAvay slaps on an inverted face lock…hooks the arm…and pulls backwards and up.]

Johnny Suave: DRAGON SLEEPER!

[Dark and Stormy end the striptease. The SEC’s Blackwell, Banks, and Tanaka climb into the ring. Les Miserables’s General DeBauchery, Al Cahall, and Nic Koteen throw themselves at the SEC. Walstreit starts to fade. Several other members of the Les Miserables hit the ring and attack Blackwell, Banks, and Tanaka.]

Johnny Suave: ALL HELL HAS BROKEN LOOSE! WE’VE GOT PEOPLE IN THE RING AND McAVAY IS HANGING ON FOR DEAR LIFE.

[Walstreit’s arm goes limp. McAvay breaks the hold…puts Walstreit’s head between his legs…and hits a sit-down powerbomb.]

Johnny Suave: McGILL BOMB!

[McAvay rolls him up. One…two…THREE!]

Johnny Suave: HE’S DONE IT!

*DING-DING-DING*

[Crowder can’t believe what’s just happened.]

Colleen Crowder: Son of a bitch.

Johnny Suave: WE HAVE A NEW UNIVERSAL PCW CHAMPION AND HIS NAME IS RAY McAVAY!

[With the Les Miserables celebrating in the ring, Kimber Marshall does the announcement from the floor.]

Kimber Marshall: YOUR WINNER AT FOURTEEN MINUTES AND FIFTY-NINE SECONDS…AND NEW UNIVERSAL PCW CHAMPION…’RED SOLO PLASTIC CUP’ RAY McAVAY!

[The referee hands the Universal title belt to McAvay- McAvay raises the belt in the air.]

Johnny Suave: I DON’T BELIEVE IT!

Colleen Crowder: I don’t believe it either.

Johnny Suave: TEN MONTHS AGO, RAY McAVAY UNDERWENT NECK SURGERY. TONIGHT, HE IS THE KING OF THE POLITICAL WRESTLING WORLD!

Colleen Crowder: God help us all.

Coming off neck surgery at the beginning of the year, McAvay was the surprise package entered into the three way dance for the Universal PCW Title at Extreme Election Night 2018. Nobody thought he’d walk away with the Universal Title.   But McAvay has always fed on being the underdog.

Ray McAvay’s PCW debut took place on PCW Extreme Political TV back on January 24th, 2011 against Brad Company. McAvay lost the match but he would lay the groundwork for what he would eventually become- a man of the people.   He would be a part of the PCW Tea Party movement in 2011-2012 and have some success in 2014.

REPLAY-6/30-2014 Extreme Political TV: Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych and ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay w/his caddy Tromeo and Dr. Molly Greenwood vs. Tom Tebow- Tim Tebow’s Long Lost Black Sheep BrotherNo One Ever Knew Existed and ‘The Luchador With Insanely Poor Oral Hygiene’ Halitosis

[…Ridfych starts with a right hand.]

Crowd: BALL!

[And another.]

Crowd: BALL!

[And another.]

Crowd: BALL!

[Tebow whipped to the ropes.  Ridfych rears back…]

Crowd: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…

[…and nails him.]

Crowd: …BALL!

[Tebow eventually tags out and Halitosis comes in and starts flying.  He takes the fight to Ridfych and then tags Tebow back in.  Ridfych in trouble and desperately needs to tag out.  McAvay stands on the ring apron arguing back and forth with Dr. Greenberg about purging his inner demons and seizing his moment.  Finally, Dr. Greenberg hands McAvay a seven iron and orders him to confront his inner demons in the ring.  Ridfych hot tag to McAvay.  McAvay climbs into the ring with the seven iron while Tebow ‘Tebows.’]

*WHAP*

Suave: Oooh.  What a well struck shot.  Crisp.  McAvay is a good ball striker.

[And that takes care of Tebow.  Cover.  1…2…3.]

McAvay would then headline the PCW Reunion show in 2015 and then play a huge role in the Donald Trump-Hillary Clinton match at Extreme Election Night 2016 with his Les Miserables.

REPLAY: Extreme Election Night 2016

[Cut to Paul Ryan. He’s whistling while he ever so subtly tries to inch away from the ring, hoping that no one can see him subtly trying to inch away from the ring.   Mitch McConnell? He’s gone from ringside and nowhere to be found.]

[The rest of the establishment? Sitting in their seats reading the Wall Street Journal or on their phones making plans for their golf getaway.]

♫ Do you hear the people sing, singing a song of angry men…♫

[Quick cut to the Les Miserables section. What had been a full section of people is now half empty.]

Johnny Suave: WAIT A MINUTE!

[‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan, ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay, and Charlie Blackwell stream to the ring followed by forty other people sitting in their section.]

Johnny Suave: It’s the LES MISERABLES!

Colleen Crowder: I’m confused Are they coming to help Clinton?

[Bryan hops up on the ring apron. He drapes Dana Milbank’s neck over the top rope and drops to the floor causing the Washington Post columnist to whiplash off the ropes and onto his back.]

Johnny Suave: BRYAN TOSSES MILBANK OUT!

[Bert the Janitor tosses McAvay a Big Bertha Driver.]

Johnny Suave: MCAVAY HAS THE BIG BERTHA!

*THWACK*

Johnny Suave: DOWN GOES CHUCK SCHUMER!

*THWACK^

Johnny Suave: DOWN GOES LINDSEY GRAHAM!

[Mitt Romney sees McAvay using the driver to pole axe his way through the crowd. He wisely uses discretion and decides to slip out of the ring.]

Johnny Suave: AND HERE COMES CHARLIE BLACKWELL!

[Blackwell jumps into the ring wielding a steel folding chair. and starts taking people out left and right.]

*CLANG*

Johnny Suave: BLACKWELL NAILS PAUL KRUGMAN WITH THE CHAIR!

[Blackwell turns and swings the chair again.]

*CLANG*

Johnny Suave: CNN’s DON LEMON GOES DOWN!

*CLANG*

Johnny Suave: HE GOT JEB BUSH TOO!

Colleen Crowder: WHAT ARE THEY DOING?

Johnny Suave: THEY’RE CLEANING HOUSE!

[The rest of the Les Miserables climb through the ropes and suddenly there’s a lot of people in close quarters.]

Colleen Crowder: DEPLORABLE!

[The American Patriots, Progressive Alliance, and media contingent still in the ring decide to hastily exit stage right leaving just Trump, Hillary, McAvay, Blackwell, Bryan, and the forty-odd Les Miserables inside.]

Colleen Crowder: THESE PEOPLE ARE DEPLORABLE! WHAT ARE ALL THESE DEPLORABLE PEOPLE DOING IN THE RING?

Johnny Suave: Actually, they’re Les Miserables.

THE ESTABLISHMENT AREN’T HAPPY WITH NEW CHAMPION

Suffice to say, the Establishment’s reaction to McAvay winning the title could be termed as ‘cool’ at best. The Coke Brothers (who is secretly funding the Red Brand shows) and George Moros (who is secretly funding the Blue Brand shows)…

…oh? Did we just spill the beans? Whoops.

The Coke Brothers and Moros have come out and complained about the fact that McAvay got a ‘free ride’ into the match by his ex-wife Dawn McGill.

Moros bragged that they ‘got rid’ of William Daniels Bryan because he wouldn’t play ball with the Establishment. He warned the new champion that he’d better defend his title at Red Brand and Blue Brand shows or else McAvay would suffer the same fate.

SEC AND CSPN AREN’T HAPPY WITH NEW CHAMPION EITHER SEC Mouthpiece Phil Finebaum complained that McAvay shouldn’t have been in the match in the first place. “He doesn’t wrestle for a power faction.   McAvay being in that match is the same as NCAA College Football allowing UCF to be in the Final Four. It shouldn’t have happened. And now we’re stuck with a substandard champion.”

CSPN CEO Mark Splitter concurred. “I’ve defended the exclusion of wrestlers of ‘lesser factions’ from title matches because they ‘probably don’t deserve to have the opportunity to wrestle for titles.  Because the competition as Phil Finebaum has pointed out is substandard. Now we have a wrestler from a non-power three faction who supposed to be the champion…the best of the best when in actuality he’s nothing more than the best of the mediocre.”

And in other news, Finebaum still hates Jim Harbaugh and Urban Meyer.

PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE REALLY AREN’T HAPPY WITH NEW CHAMPION The Progressive Alliance have registered a complaint with the PCW Competition Committee alleging that they did not have a wrestler in the title match at Extreme Election Night 2018 because ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism fraudulently presented himself a member of the faction. They want do-over.

As the Blue Brand Champion, Chism was the ‘Progressive Alliance’ representative to the match. But Chism allowed himself to be counted out of the match sparking a fracas at ringside with the Hollywood left until Conservative actor James Wood came to his rescue.

The PCW Competition Committee turned down the Progressive Alliance’s complaint.

The Progressive Alliance did strip Chism of the Blue Brand Title and will crown a new champion once the Blue Brand shows start up again.

CURRENT CHAMPIONS: Universal PCW Champion: ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay (Independent/Les Miserables) Universal PCW Tag Team Champions: Sports Entertainment Corporation: P.M.C. Banks and Charlie Blackwell Universal PCW Women’s Champion: ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (SEC) PCW Red Brand Champion: Kirk Walstreit- the Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit PCW Blue Brand Champion: Vacant PCW Heartland Champion: Vacant PCW Red Brand Tag Team Champions: Banks and Blackwell PCW Blue Brand Tag Team Champions: Union Jack Taylor and the Ultimate Social Justice Warrior PCW Heartland Tag Team Champions: Weapons of Mass Destruction: A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb