#oh god look at all the ways to say two tragic men in love

[mercymermaid]

obligatory 2:30 am willry ramble (cw mentioned homophobia, nothing big)

In the beginning, they were best business buddies, friends that met in college and hit it off immediately, yadda yadda yadda. They found their respective ladies, got married, had kids, and decided to put their little restaurant plans from back in college into action (fuck fall fest).

There wasn't anything super special between them at the time. They were loyal to their wives, and saw each other as nothing but best friends, the type you'd sleep with in the same bed, no homo style. They'd seen each other nearly naked in the springlock suits, shared the last bottle of beer, all that normal bestie stuff.

Then their wives fell right out of the picture. Death, divorce, whatever it was, it left both Henry and William reeling, both lacking that figure that you're supposed to cherish and love until the end, their respective families now left with a gaping, person-sized hole smack in the center.

In an effort to rebuild and move past, that closeness evolved into something slightly more intimate. Resting together on the couch turned into cuddly naps, trying to figure out how to bake (as the men in relationships that sparked at latest in the 70s) turned into a partner activity, and where they'd work on opposite sides of their little workshop before, one would find himself massaging the other's aching back while watching over his shoulder and criticizing his work.

They never put a name to it, nor did they even try to. They were drowning in paperwork and business and robots and dealing with angsty teenagers and hyper children, so they never bothered to realize what had sparked between them. It felt perfectly normal, and with how popular they were in town, everyone assumed the same. In a time where homosexuals were looked down upon, it'd be foolish to assume the most successful businessmen in the area would fall to such sins.

It was great, until, as it always does, shit hits the fan. The Bite of '83 happened, and William spiraled right into the deep end. He changed. He became colder, more distant, and while at first Henry tried to brush this off as deep-set grief, it only grew and grew. No matter what Henry tried, he couldn't prevent William changing.

Then came Charlie's death. It hit Henry straight out of left field, as you'd assume the death of a child would, and now he was left scrambling for nothing, left to rot in the middle of a raging ocean with no driftwood to hold onto. William was the same, though rather than an ocean of despair, he was in the burning pits of insanity, and while Henry kept swimming, desperate to save himself from drowning, William embraced it, drinking the flames and allowing the blaze to scorch him from the inside and out.

Opposites attract, usually. After all, at first, William was the stuck-up, charming, professional British man, with a resting bitch face and a face so pale, it looked as if he had never seen the sun, while Henry was boisterous and outgoing, the dad friend, Southern and tanned from a life in the sun.

But when Henry eventually put together the pieces as William's mind fell further apart, not even the basic laws of physics and fate could rescue them. By the time he figured out the whole story, the place in his heart reserved for his best friend had filled in, gone with no trace left behind besides a faint grief of what they once had.

William's heart, on the other hand, had shattered. His youngest son was dead, Elizabeth was dead, Michael had abandoned him, and all he had left was what Henry used to be to him. Internally, as he was killed and burnt and killed and burnt time and time again, he didn't know what he wanted. As regrets rotted and festered for decades alongside him, all he could think about was that he wanted to feel Henry's hug again. He wanted to rekindle what they once had, even if deep inside, he knew damn well it would never happen.

When Henry created the fake restaurant to lure William in, it was... an emotional disaster. Obviously, it tends to be such when the culmination of decades of death and revenge and disaster all go up in literal flames, and you see your long-gone children one last time, but when you place two former lovers in a room, one that's moved on and one that's glued to his spot, it doesn't go well. Henry felt no remorse, because what he saw in front of him as the temperature rose wasn't the man he cherished. It was a monster, from the same pits of hell that William fell prey to. But what William saw was the same man, unchanged and undefeated, exactly the same as what he had once loved, and as Henry's speech rang out through the restaurant and Cassidy prepared herself to play god, he wasn't scared. He was broken.

okay yeah idk what that was i hope it was coherent 😭

[alatismeni-theitsa]

In "KAOS" nothing is anything, and everything is wrong

Two disclaimers: I am no stranger to modern art, and I have no issue with queerness in shows, or in my own mythology (I'm Greek). I am also aware that KAOS is a comedy. It's in the gutter of British comedy, but still part of the genre. At least I laughed every time they said "Oh God!". I don't believe this is the same person who wrote the great and amusing "End of the F**king World"! The premise of "The gods in our modern world" appeals to me a lot, so that wasn't my problem either. My general issue with KAOS is its horrible delivery, bad writing, and piss-poor Greek representation.

This is gonna be long and full of stupid gifs, so sit comfortably, grab a coffee or some popcorn and... pame!

The "ILoveGreekMythology" Kid

Art without context is just a pretty thing to look at. Most of the time, this context can be found within the art piece itself, as the artist has taken care to weave it in. KAOS refuses to connect itself to any context besides the names and a few vague powers. It aims to exist outside of those "boring old stories of the Greek myth" and be entirely "fresh and modern". Something impossible when the entire show and the meanings are based on ancient recorded material. In other words, KAOS is so meta that it ends up being nothing. KAOS cannot stand on its own because you need more than the viewers being familiar with the Greek myth basics to pull such a show off.

KAOS tells us "See? I know all the names of the gods, and what they did, and I know all the locations, so I am qualified to tackle this". More or less like any Western kid who takes all their knowledge from PJO and Marvel and proceeds to unironically hate ancient deities and make a girlboss out of Medusa.

Here's a Greek word for you guys, ημιμάθεια, meaning "half-knowledge". Α Greek saying very well declares "Half-knowledge is worse than no knowledge". The confidence of thinking you know enough often leads you to grave mistakes whereas the humility of not knowing prevents you from touching shit that you shouldn't. When you have no idea what the original myth is trying to say and spit on its meaning, knowing a few names and locations is just smoke and mirrors. I don't believe the audience fell for that.

And don't get me started on the "subversions". A good subversion is intriguing and thought-provoking. In KAOS, every twist was hollow - Greek myth related or otherwise.

"What if Euridice doesn't love Orpheus?" I don't know, babe. What if??? What was the point of that? What did you show us? That women's stories are dominated by men and men don't listen to women, perhaps? And you chose to twist... the love story of Orpheus and Euridice to show this?? One of the best and most tragic love stories Greek mythology has to offer?? You just mocked the myth, you didn't make anything profound out of it.

The Greek Stuff (Nothing salvageable)

I was surprised to see they had a Consulting Producer (Georgia Christou) and an Assistant Script Editor (Isabella Yianni) who happen to be Greek. And I stress that because those people probably weren't hired or utilized for being Greek. We are not sure they were involved in cultural decisions because we have no evidence and because shows with no Greek elements can have more Greeks than that on their staff.

Okay, perhaps they took 5 seconds to ask Isabella about a greeting - which they proceeded to say in a wrong intonation 🙄🤌It's where Poseidon says "ya sás" in the Fates, by the way. How he said it sounds more like "for you (pl.)" than "health to you (pl.)".

Surprise! The only Greek actor present (Peter Polycarpou) has less than 5 minutes of screen time and plays the caricature of an immigrant with a thick (and inaccurate Greek) accent. He has a canteen, selling falafel which is not Greek, and Dionysus buys from him an unidentified tortilla wrap (which... is also not Greek, if you haven't caught up).

For the show they brought in actors of Maori, Nigerian and Sierra Leonean, Pakistani, Black American, Latvian-Jewish, Iranian, Egyptian, Indo-Fijian and Malay descent and you tell me it was impossible for them to seek and find an English-speaking, skilled actor of Greek descent in a show regarding Greek heritage. Sometimes I wonder, do y'all hate us so much?

They considered Greeks only to give us a simple (and wrong) greeting and a stereotype. Crumbs, we are supposed to be happy with. By the way, there are over 70.000 Greek immigrants just in the UK, usually in the urban centers, many of them students or fairly young employees in the corporate workforce. Not the largest minority but not hard to spot either.

Another plague of Anglophone shows: Almost everyone's Greek name is shortened. Yes, we know their full names but we are told that we will use the short ones. Greeks and their "long and difficult" names am I right fellas? Because saying "Ariadne" apparently requires 5 years of Greek language training, and no English word ever has more than two syllables.

Coincidentally, short names are cool in Anglophone imaginary universes and the "long" names are not. it's so strange Anglophones never make universes where it's cool for Greek names to be spoken in full hmmm... They don't even want to practice saying a whole Greek name for just 2 minutes in preparation for a show full of Greek names. And don't give me that "Greek is hard" shit when we only talk about a few syllables. If Greek kids can learn English since first grade and people here can sing English songs and spell English names, you have no excuse.

They also said the name "Fotis" means light, which is close enough but... ugh.. It's like saying Sebastian means "respect". I am not sure if they asked anyone or what their research was here. If I had the writers in front of me, I'd be like:

(This character from an all-time favorite Greek show is called Fotis)

They also made the flag of "Krete" an alteration of the Greek flag and the local Cretan flag. Which is the stupidest move, because they had to remove the religious symbol of the cross to make the flag fit the universe. These are flags created based on 1) Christianity 2) the Greek Revolution of 1821.

National Greek flag to the left, local Cretan flag to the right:

Flag of the KAOS' "Krete":

The only time they seriously took into account anything Greek, was the time when they decided to remove the religious symbol of our ethnoreligion AND (from what I could observe) keep the nine stripes?? The nine stripes of our national flag represent the syllables in "Freedom or Death". The colors are from the white foustanela of the mainland attire and the dark blue vraka of the island attire, the clothing of the Revolution fighters. (That's more of a meta explanation but the characteristics of the flag were decided during and nearly after the Revolution.)

I think I don't have to explain it more but it's not a homage to put the nine stripes in an ancient era where they have no meaning, and to replace a cross??? Let's... not replace religious symbols on national flags, okay? Thank you.

Another cultural element they changed was making everyone have a dedicated coin to pay Charon. Orpheus has Euridice's coin, "her coin", and he's meant to put it on her before she got buried. In Greek culture, any coin would do. Sorry that our culture restricts your script, dear writers. I guess you had to bend this too, in order to create a cohesive plot with a semblance of a twist.

Finally, the many "Kerberus" dogs were cute and I can understand the creative decision behind that. However, in a show full of inaccuracies, this made me roll my eyes a little. I think the showrunners know that Kerveros is not a breed of dog, and there can only be one of him because he doesn't have any other "Kerveros" to breed with. On the other hand, as demonstrated from art/writing on the internet, quite a lot of Westerners are not exactly aware of how our monsters work, so forgive my uncertainty 😅

Nothing is Anything

Every element KAOS played with ended up meaningless. In the words of a Lifo article:

“Zeus is a paranoid authoritarian dictator in mid-life crisis who fears losing his power and murders his aides to vent. Hera is a promiscuous goddess who repeatedly betrays Zeus and has mutilated mute priestesses for protection. Dionysos is a spoiled and immature zoomer who, apart from pranks, indulges in orgies with all genders. Poseidon a sadistic god of the sea, who tortures the crew on his ship for fun. Prometheus is gay and killed his lover so he could overthrow Zeus. Orpheus is a famous pop singer and Eurydice does not love him. Theseus is black and gay. The Erinyes are tough-as-nails mechs that look like they stepped out of ‘Sons of Anarchy’. The Fates resemble a three-member jury in a talent show. The Trojans are a terrorist group that acts against the gods. Crete is more reminiscent of California than the Mediterranean.”

The "River Styx" is a sea, the "River Lethe" is a lake, the gods are nothing more than spoiled humans, the Moirai are drag queens, the Cave is a club where you have to take a quiz to enter the underworld, and generally everything is modern, flat, mundane and anticlimactic. The producers aimed to achieve a work so meta that a "river" is now a concept, a metaphor, whatever you have in your heart. And those who want to see a river when we speak of a river are probably uncultured swines and don't understand postmodernism. Never mind that rivers are rivers in Greek mythology for a reason. That's not culturally interesting enough to explore compared to the new, cool approach of not assigning meaning to anything. That totally shows love for the original rich and meaningful material...

And the reason behind all this subversion? Probably the shock factor. They brought the characters to a point where they said "We have to save the world from Zeus" - Zeus! The father of gods, heroes and humans! - just because they could. It gives off a certain type of smugness that I personally don't like. I mean, I would like the smugness and cheekiness of KAOS if it wasn't a vapid and practically meaningless show. As nothing symbolizes anything anymore, we are just led from hollow plot point to hollow plot point.

If you cut it out of any cultural influence and see it as a story then it's... okay, I guess. But when you consider that it's meant to derive from certain material and it fails spectacularly, it's not a good story. It forgets its bases and doesn't play with the ancient elements at all. Disney's Hercules did it better, FFS!

Bad Writing (pt.1)

KAOS is not without recognizable themes but their demonstration is so juvenile and heavy-handed that it fails to influence a viewer of average intelligence. For instance, "Riddy" says to her religious mother "You dedicated your whole life to Hera, what about me?" Okay, KAOS, we get it. At the same time, this theme nulls itself because it turns out that Ridy's mother was right to do what she did, as she had a greater goal in mind. (And this, kiddos, is called Bad Writing, because your themes and scenes contradict each other)

The biggest theme I spotted was a criticism of religion and religious people who say "Do as I say, not as I do" and create exceptions for themselves. Only, it's not a criticism of anything real, in this case. It's a fact that some people in the clergy tend to preach peace and love and then they do harm, but we don't know, for example, that The Goddess of Marriage is a cheater and yet she pressures everyone into strict marriages. By focusing their wrath on divine beings who are not known for their hypocrisy, the creators missed the mark.

I can give KAOS props for how it handled Trojans to reflect real issues regarding how immigrants and war refugees are mistreated and blamed. I'd argue it was the only (nearly) well-done theme in the whole show because it had the least on-the-nose delivery and some genuine/serious scenes. But that's it.

More Bad Writing!

Jeff Goldblum's Zeus is shit. He'd crap his pants in an argument with a stern Greek dad/uncle his age. Is this character supposed to be intimidating? (Laughs in Mediterranean) That's not to say that Goldblum is not a good actor, but this role wasn't for him. The same can be said for the other actors, too. They are competent but they only give off the air of "The Greek gods if they lived in London, from the minds of people who think beards and body hair are an affliction". In addition to being misplaced, the actors cannot show their talent when following a script that resembles a children's book.

Why does THE GOD Dionysus have the maturity of a 15-year-old? I repeat, The God Dionysus. He's a freaking deity, and a very old one at that. He is not a teenager neither in appearance nor in experience. In our culture, he is mystical, mighty, wise. Why did they downgrade him so? Just for the plot? This is not Dionysus just because you named him so.

The dialogue rarely takes itself seriously to the point it has you wondering at times "Do people talk and behave like that?". In a comedy where everything is meant to be already extreme and parodied. Even in comedies, something must occasionally be serious so there is a healthy fluctuation in tone and the funny moments can hit you. In KAOS very few scenes treated their impactful dialogue as it should be treated.

The queerness and diversity (good elements, in general) were worse off for being in KAOS. Like, I want these elements to be there. I'm just sad about the whole situation. It's not enough that the show is shit, now you also give an additional reason for conservatives to shit on diverse and queer characters because they are part of a stupid narrative.

I'm the type of person who doesn't mind the queerness of Astyanax and Theseus being lovers in the context of this specific show but they're still the oddest pairing to me because they're from the most irrelevant myths and eras. Also, Astyanax in my mind is a baby who died tragically, for little reason if we are honest, so to bring him back and make him a love interest is... ekh.

In addition, isn't Astyanax supposed to be crippled after a fall from the city walls when he was a baby? Sorry to change subjects but the show is so convoluted and with so many issues that it's extremely difficult to stay on track with what's wrong.

To the person who thought this show was a good idea:

Whatever. Bye. I'm fucking done.

[transfemmbeatrice]

beatrice muchadoaboutnothing is a trans woman: a brief treatise

thematically, i think in a play about the social vulnerability of women, having a character be a trans woman just makes sense as a way to provide depth to that idea. specifically, i love the concept of beatrice's view of men being informed by her own experiences as a closeted trans woman (it's amazing what people will say in front of you when they think you're one of them) and as someone later facing sexism and transmisgoyny.

usually when someone does a trans reading of this play/character, they look at beatrice's famous speech about wishing she was a man and interpret her as a trans man, which is perfectly valid! but this idea started for me with the simple thought that i wanted an out and accepted trans character to play with rather than a closeted one who cannot transition, just as a matter of personal preference at that particular time and with this particular text. but then i kept thinking.

as above, the concept of beatrice reading men for filth in the context of having lived among them is great. the "oh god that i were a man" speech is extremely disparaging of men and what they claim to be vs how they actually wield their power. what she wishes is that she had the power that men have automatically in her society--felt all the more keenly because there was a time when she was able to wield that power and she gave it up to be happy, to be herself, to be free in a different way. (here is where i sometimes imagine beatrice regretting ever transitioning, believing that her own happiness and health is less important than having the power to protect hero's happiness and health, because i love angst.) but now that the worst has happened, she is reduced to begging a man for help and it's demeaning and infuriating and tragic.

i also love turning on its head the line "i cannot be a man with wishing, therefore i will die a woman with grieving." being a trans person, dealing with internalized transphobia, knowing that transitioning will put a target on your back, wishing you could just be the gender you're born as--but no amount of wishing will make her not a woman. i think she loves herself and her gender but the play is focusing on points of conflict so that's what i'm talking about here.

in a play about misogyny, the vulnerability of women, and the hypocrisy of men, a trans woman has a unique perspective on both masculinity and femininity both as genders and places in society. (in the ideal version, i think john would be a trans man to mirror this experience, but that would require him to be rewritten to have actual depth and personality and all that is a different essay). there is also just a particular kind of strength that comes from having to carve out and defend your identity in that way which i think fits her very well.

lastly, a couple of other miscellaneous things from the text that can tie in:

beatrice recounting "a double heart for his single one" meaning both "i loved him twice as much as he loved me" and "i loved him as two people: [birthname] and beatrice"

benedick insisting he wouldn't marry her even if "she were endowed with all that Adam had left him before he transgressed." Adam, not Eve. in MY illustrious opinion, this is benedick saying "i don't care HOW big her dick is i'm NOT gonna marry her."

[ender-cloud]

Epic the Musical Vengeance Saga just dropped so heres my thoughts on it!!

Overall thoughts: A lot shorter than I thought it was going to be BUT, THAT MAY BE BECAUSE OF THE ITHICA SAGA HAVING SO MANY LONG SONGS

Wait nevermind, it’s the next day and I just realized how long the Vengeance saga is I think I was just tired and it just seemed like it was fast

Also very Nerve racking, and I literally sat there eyes wide and mouth agape almost the entire time oh my god it was so fucking cool, the animation??? Like huh???

Now onto the songs before I start getting into specifics!

Song 31: Not Sorry for Loving you

I am not a Calypso fan, normally I don’t like her in any adaptation or original version, but, with that said, this is the first song that really made me re think that. (Still hate her though, but I tried to put in two perspectives)

The way that Jorge made it so you can really see how tragic Calypso is and really feel for her, is it definitely not ok that she kept Odysseus trapped against his will: yes, but really being alone for so long it makes sense.

Wangui really out did herself, the way you can tell the voice change from Love in paradise which is more upbeat and energetic, to this sad, distant voice in Not sorry for loving you, showing just how much she doesn’t want to let Odysseus go but knows its for the best, no matter how much it hurts her to

I feel like Calypso admitted that she did something wrong but yet still saying shea not sorry for loving Odysseus makes the song more in character and more realistic for her

On the other side; her words are trying to make Odysseus stay. She thinks if she can make Odysseus feel bad for her by telling her all this he will stay with her, but Odysseus is tired of this, it probably isn’t the first time where Calypso tried to convince him not to leave with her words. Despite being tired of the island, he still has his wits and knows better to fall for it

Saying “I’m not sorry for loving you” is completely getting rid of the “apologies” she said before. All of the things that she said was done out of her “love” so saying she’s not sorry for loving ody is saying to ignore everything she said before “I’m sorry for making YOU feel bad but I’m not sorry for doing it”

I can talk line by line when it cuts to the animatic but its getting late so I’ll just skip to the one that really stuck out to me which was Ody’s “I love you! but not in the way that you want me to…”

At first, it threw me old guard, odysseus, the biggest simp ever, in love with another woman! Impossible! But than the second part really made me think about how close they might have grown in the last 7 years

Even if it wasnt how Calypso wanted it to go and how Ody didn’t always have the best times on that island; Calypso still took care of him and they were each other’s only company for years, they would grow close as friends and it all makes sense put into that perspective

And Calypso hating that she fell in love with ody also makes sense in this perspective, if she didn’t love him the two had the opportunity to become great friends, truly all calypso wanted was company, and she knows that if she had stopped herself she would have had that company in a friend. Maybe the two could’ve gotten along better than they could’ve ever imagined just as friends, and maybe, this departure would be more sad on Odysseus side and less rageful on Calypso’s side.

Also Gigis animatic for it was just ahshajbshshs god, it was so good

Anyway, with all of that said this song can also be seen as emotional manipulation:D depends on how you look at it because it can be seen as Calypso playing the victim to make Odysseus feel bad and stay with her, It was most likely the intention but I tried to give both perspectives on the situation

Song 32: Dangerous

HERMES HAHAHAH OH I LOVE HEREMS SO MUCH!! FAVORITE CHARACTER RIGHT THERE!!

Something I really enjoyed about dangerous is what it brought back from past songs, the wind bag, the 600 men lines coming back but this time without the crew to back it up, instead theres just silence

And then of course Hermes is there too so thats by itself is bringing back Wouldn’t you like.

Troy’s voice is just so intresting to me and scratches my brain in all of the right places

To be honest hearing Troy sing the plan of the part made me let out a sigh of relief because all I could’ve heard until then was the Carl wheezer version and I’ve now been cleansed by Troys amazing voice

The whole Hermes dancing part while Odysseus fought off monsters was definitely a lighter thing to laugh at after Not sorry for loving you, ALSO THE TWERKING??? I CANT JUST NOT TALK ABOUT THAT, so now, the question everyones all been wondering, is Hermes giving the Winions twerking lessons? Because I mean the man flys and got the wind bag so must be relatively close with Aeolus (they match each others energy) and there for the Wininons in relation also they were his backup singers so!!? Twerking lessons

Anyways back to the song; odysseus part is so good, I don’t know what else to say about except for that but I truly do like it I swear!!

The fact that Athena didn’t even seem to cross Odys mind at the end was shocking to me, yes they had their falling out but Athena was the first person he called out to in Love in Paradise

The fact that he thinks he was ignored and pushes aside by her is heart renching, i do hope they have a reconnection in the Ithca saga (Because Athena is not dead, I refuse it Jorge, your video was a Lie, she is not dead, Apollo healed her, she is ok!)

Song 33: Charybdis

I dont have much to say about this one Annalyzing wise so instead I will say that It’s very Catchy and will be stuck in my head for all time.

I love Jorges voice in it chat its so good, It always is but like the Vocals on this one in particular I cant explain it

Also the animation is really cool.

God I dont know why, I knew Get in the water was coming but I really was happy for Odysseus to make it home, I think it’s how he sounded so desperate and so close and I just wanted to give him a hug, the past two somgs kept my mind off of what was to come and it really came to stab me in the back

Song 34: Get in the water

All I can think of is my friend going “Oh no he’s hot!” To poseidon when he arose from the water to start off the song, it was a little bit of light before the storm that was to come

I’ve been meaning to say this for a few of the songs now but Get in the water has such a different feeling and tone than any other song in the musical, normally Jorge brings melodies back but hearing a completely different sound that hadn’t been in the musical earlier almost breaks this invisible rule in place and its nerve racking

It dosent start with the normal boss music but instead its own original thing because this isn’t just a boss, this is the Boss that is the biggest turning point in Odysseus, this time we truly see Odysseus become the monster, a monster that scares not only mortals, but gods and other monsters as well, he will never let anyone defy him again

Poseidon’s threats to raise the tide were so nerve racking, god Steven Rodriguez’s voice is so calm yet so filled with rage at the same time, so steady but so ready to break the dam down, and the way it escalates to where the anger is more ahown but its not quite screaming, not just yet has Posedion reached the peak of his Anger

Odysseus still trying to reason with Poseidon, one of the last times this reasoning part of him will show as he tries to convince Posedion to give up after the 10 years this has been going on for

The reasoning turns into a faint version of ruthlessnesses melody, the melody playing in the background, not only to lead into Poseidons lines from it, but also knowing just how Ruthless both Poseidon and Odysseus are soon to become

Poseidon powering up WAS SO SICK MAN! LIKE OH MY GOD!!! It was absolutely amazing, my mouth dropped when I saw it and it reminded me of circe and her monster yet this isn’t a monster but an extension of poseidon (Who can count as a monster depending on who you ask)

This is where we can see Poseidon reach the peak of his anger where his power is the strongest and his boss move is set in place, the animation, again, absolutely fantastic. The ocean breaking is so satisfying, and yet the entire time I was terrified of it

JORGE STOP BRINGING BACK OPEN ARMS OH MY GOD I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE, I couldn’t tell if they were pulling Odysseus to his death or empowering him, because Polites just put his hand on Odys shoulder, an encouraging powerful gesture. While his mother is dragging him down and down into the sea and Eurylochus is on his arm

It’s the same thing from love in paradise, the memories make him want to die but then he remembers that; they would want him to live on and fight, to not let them die for nothing, and to make it out alive so he could make sure they were all remembered, every 601 of them (or 602 if you count the baby)

But it could have also been that they knew what Odysseus was going to become and wanted him to just rest and let himself go once and for all, Polites looking at him, knowing that Odysseus cant do that, knowing Odysseus would never just leave his wife like that.

Instead of using this new found encouragement and power in his body to reason with Poseidon he becomes a monster to him instead, the monster thats always been within him but just hidden because of him leading with his heart

Song 35: Six Hundred strike

I forgot who the animator was because it’s the next day but it looked so much like a video game and was so impressive, all of the animatics in this one were just absolutely terrifying, with Odysseus red eyes being like him powering up is so interesting to see

Now remember what I said earlier during Dangerous about the crew not backing Odysseus up because they were gone; this song brings them back after Odysseus saw their spirits, like he had remembered and now the voices may not actually be there but in Ody’s head as a form of motivation for the fight

It’s been a while since we’ve heard Odysseus so angry (Because he’s to busy gentle parenting and reasoning with every monster he finds) but now seeing it against poseidon was such a shift and Ody shifted with it.

Just awesome animation and the instrumental in the back is so cool and high stake. “Almost all of whom were slaughtered by your hand!” Sososo good because when it wasn’t Poseidon it his son and the last part of the crew died under Odysseus’s choice but instead of focusing on this he focused on how he only caused 42 deaths (Elpenor i love you but your death was your fault) and how Poseidon caused more that 500 instead.

In that Light it made what Odysseus would do next more reasonable for him, more justified in his mind

The animation turn where all you could see was the red glowing eyes of Odysseus staring at you before he picks up the trident and starts torturing Poseidon.

Old Odysseus after he defeated Poseidon would once again try and reason with him to stop the storm, but this is a new odysseus, a different beast so to say, he no longer cares about the nice way out, Ruthlessness will become far from Merciful if it means he can finally see his family again.

“You didn’t stop when I begged you! Told me to close up my heart!” I am very much obsessed with the lines in this saga they are so good and just so powerful as well in the moments, its an action jammed pack saga because it has to be the entire journey back but it’s done so well.

Hearing an actual god Call odysseus a Monster is different from anything else that might’ve been scared of him before because Gods are all powerful, they don’t have time to fear mortals, But Odysseus is different, more power in just a mortal than they have ever seen before, Odysseus doesn’t have any godly power except for his wit and brute strength to win his battles and thats absolutely terrifying to see how powerful he is with just being a mortal man

“How will you sleep at night?” “Next to my wife.”

GOD, I dont know what to say about this line except for it is absolutely amazing and delivered so well and is just all in all very resinate of what Odysseus’s goal has been since he started this journey

This saga was all in all very cool! It’s not up in my top 3 but its very very close

[cosmo-watches-movies]

Wilde (1997)

Triggerwarning: Homophobia, Sex (in the movie, not depicted in this blogpost)

Plot: A part of Oscar Wilde’s life story.

Spoilers beyond this

Michael plays Robbie Ross, a good friend to Oscar Wilde and, delicately put, his first male lover.

Following are my incoherent thoughts as I was watching the movie: (some gifs for context, for the other parts watch the movie and you'll get it)

starting out chill with Oscar meeting his future wife

oh who might this dashing young fella be?

lol that didn’t work did it?

Nevermind it did work

I was so not prepared for this

This guy has a lot of thoughts in his head and none of them are holy

Bitch what

If someone looked at me like that I’d instantly fall for them too. Man brought his A-Game

Oh my god this is going too fast even for me and I’m just watching

Why would you give him lines like that?

(I refuse to clip the next part, I don't know who might read this)

What in the what I barely got into the movie, why would you do this to me

I have questions

I have so many emotions at once right now I actually feel a bit sick

I’m 16 Minutes in and my heart is breaking at the thought of where this might be going

Okay, I got used to the fact that I am actually watching a movie about gay men

Me watching a movie about a gay author: （☆ω☆ ）

Me when theres actual portayal of intimacy between men: （○ □ ○ ）

I swear I’m so normal about this.

Wtf Oscar why would you drop Robbie like that. I get that this was an affair, but like this? He picked that other guy up like an apple from a tree.

Watch Robbie take this like the king he is

Oscar met yet another guy (Bosie) and seems to fall in love with him and guy #2 litterally wants to khs and/or Bosie, while Robbie has only respect, acceptance and love to give.

lol taste of your own medicie, huh?

I hate Bosie

I love Robbie

Drama between Bosie and Wilde, which results in Oscar being sentenced to two years in prison

Oof that speech Oscar held in court tho, right in the feels

Robbie is an absolute treasure of a person. Get yourself a man like him. Don’t settle for less.

Wtf all this stress and heartbreak for Oscar and Bosie to break up after three months, the world is a cruel place

- End of incoherent thoughts-

That was heartbreaking in so many ways. The main story obviously is unbelievably tragic but we shall focus on other things. There are a lot of strong performances in this movie, the whole cast was quite good. You can strongly feel the love Robbie has for Oscar, he has this soft tone when he talks to or about him, he wants him to be happy even if it means that he himself wont be. He accepts that Oscar doesn’t love him the same way and still supports his friend under any circumstances. It's not just in the dialouge, it's also in the way Robbie talks to and looks at Oscar. He’s pure kindness, love and devotion.

He cares so much for him it's breaking my poor little heart :c

On a less serious note, my guy really went ahead and had his first on-screen kiss be a gay kiss!?! Fuckin hell! And he did so well! Icon, king, legend, right from the start!

Because there aren't enough gifs in this already, have some more little moments I enjoyed :3

✨Puppy dog eyes✨

Good save xD

Why would you hold it like that?

I don't even know why, just thought he looked dashing in this scene

Me too, Robbie, me too.

I probably could've written more, but that wouldn't do the movie and characters justice. Bosie's full brattiness alone is something I couldn't even capture in gifs. Kudos to Jude Law, he really made me hate that character. He's the exact opposite of Robbie. They had only two scenes together I think, but it's awesome to see their personalities clash.

I’d say you should check this movie out, especially if you’re lgbt+ yourself obviously. And then go ahead and read Oscar Wildes works, they're queer history and in general important literature anyone should know.

At the end of this I have learned that I, in fact, don’t hate love drama, I just like it if it's gay. And preferably has a certain actor in it.

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; GUTS by Olivia Rodrigo (Part I)

ALL-AMERICAN BITCH

I pay attention to things that most people ignore.

I'm alright with the movies that make jokes 'bout senseless cruelty, that's for sure.

I am built like a mother and a total machine.

I feel for your every little issue.

I make light of the darkness.

I've got sun in my motherfuckin' pocket.

I forgive, and I forget.

I know my age, and I act like it.

I got class and integrity.

I'm a perfect all-American bitch.

I know my place, and this is it.

I don't get angry when I'm pissed.

I'm the eternal optimist. I scream inside to deal with it.

Oh my fucking god.

I'm grateful all the time.

I'm sexy, and I'm kind.

I'm pretty when I cry.

BAD IDEA RIGHT?

Haven't heard from you in a couple of months.

I'm out right now and I'm all fucked up.

I'm sensing some undertone.

I'm right here with all my friends.

You're sending me your new address?

I know we're done.

I know we're through

God, when I look at you...

I should probably not.

It's a bad idea, right?

Fuck it, it's fine.

Yes, I know that he's my ex.

Can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend.

The biggest lie I ever said.

I just tripped and fell into his bed.

I know I should stop, but I can't.

I told my friends I was asleep.

I never said where or in whose sheets.

I'm sure I've seen much hotter men, but I really can't remember when.

VAMPIRE

How's the castle built off people you pretend to care about?

Just what you wanted.

Look at you, cool guy, you got it.

I see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when I close my eyes.

Six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise.

I loved you truly.

You gotta laugh at the stupidity.

I've made some real big mistakes, but you make the worst one look fine.

I should've known it was strange.

I used to think I was smart, but you made me look so naive.

You sold me for parts as you sunk your teeth into me.

Every girl I ever talked to told me you were bad news.

God, I hate the way I called them crazy too.

You're so convincing

How do you lie without flinching?

Can't figure out just how you do it and god knows I never will.

Went for me and not her 'cause girls your age know better.

You said it was true love, but wouldn't that be hard?

You can't love anyone 'cause that would mean you had a heart.

I tried to help you out.

How you think's the kind of thing I'll never understand.

LACY

Skin like puff pastry.

Aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of hell?

Did I ever tell you that I’m not doin' well?

Like perfume that you wear, I linger all the time.

It takes over my life.

I see you everywhere.

The sweetest torture one could bear.

I'm losin’ it lately.

I feel your compliments likе bullets on skin.

Aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist?

Like ribbons in your hair, my stomach's all in knots.

You got the one thing that I want.

It's like you're made of angel dust.

It's like you're out to get me.

You poison every little thing that I do

I just loathe you lately.

I despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you.

I despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you.

BALLAD OF A HOMESCHOOL GIRL

I don't think I get along with anyone.

I'm on the outside of the greatest inside joke.

Feels like my skin doesn't fit right over my bones.

So I guess I should go...

The party's done, and I'm no fun.

I told secrets I shouldn't tell.

I stumbled over all my words.

I made it weird.

I made it worse.

Each time I step outside, it's social suicide.

I laughed at the wrong time.

I talkеd to this hot guy, swore I was his type.

Guess that he was makin' out with boys, like, the whole night.

Everything I do is tragic.

Every guy I like is gay.

Oh, god, what did I say?

I'm shocked I'm still alive.

MAKING THE BED

Want it, so I got it.

Another thing I ruined I used to do for fun.

I thought it, so I said it.

Another day pretending I'm older than I am.

Another perfect moment that doesn't feel like mine.

Another thing I forced to be a sign.

Sometimes I feel like I don't wanna be where I am.

Push away all the people who know me the best.

It's me who's been makin' the bed.

I'm so tired of bein' the girl that I am.

Every good thing has turned into somethin' I dread.

I'm playin' the victim so well in my head.

I read somewhere it's 'cause my life feels so out of control.

I tell someone I love them just as a distraction.

They tell me that they love me like I'm some tourist attraction.

They're changin' my machinery, and I just let it happen.

I got the things I wanted, it's just not what I imagined.

Counting all of the beautiful things I regret.

[cliothedaydreamer]

a probably coincidental symbolic reading of FIGS as symbols of tragedy in The Song of Achilles

So, before I write anything, I just want to get one thing clear: I'm not a Christian, I have a degree in History and one in Translation. What I mean is, don't take this as me trying to push any Christian message - the following analysis is literally just a curious thing I came across while translating and thought "oh, this is kinda cool"! I don't know if Madeline Miller intended to make this connection, hence the title. She's a very intelligent person, but would she include Medieval/Renaissance Christian symbolism in a book centered in Ancient Greece? It seems unlikely, but hey, I can't know for sure. Anyway, this could've been on purpose or it could've been a concidence!

-

Spoilers for The Song of Achilles (and consequently The Iliad, I guess?).

When I searched about the symbolism of figs in The Song of Achilles, a source showed up saying that they were " a symbol of the youthful love and ripeness of Achilles and Patroclus (…) These boyish indulgences are symbolic of the sexual love that develops between the young men ", which YES, absolutely! Figs were also attributes of Dionysus and Priapus, both associated with sexuality. Later in History, figs ended up becoming a symbol of lust in Christian tradition because of their connection with these two gods.

But here is the part where it gets interesting! Because of this association with lust, figs started to show up in certain paintings as the forbidden fruit, instead of the apple! We can see that, for example, in a portrayal of Adam and Eve by Raffaello Santi in the Vatican. Eve offers Adam a fig. As the story goes, Eve is tempted into eating the forbidden fruit and then gets Adam to do the same... they are cast out of the Garden of Eden together, "doomed" to not enter Paradise again. Christian doctrine especially emphasizes this moment as the fall of man and the original sin.

So, if we were to look at The Song of Achilles with this in mind, couldn't we read a message of tragic doom in figs?

In Chapter 4, Achilles throws a fig to Patroclus and Patroclus takes a bite out of it, something that kind of parallels Eve giving Adam the forbidden fruit. If figs can be seen as a symbol of their love for each other... doesn't that, in a way, mirror Eve dooming Adam by giving him the forbidden fruit? Achilles unknowingly dooms Patroclus by falling in love with him... especially since Achilles' prophecy was to die a hero, he was "doomed first", in the same way Eve was doomed first by being the first one to be tempted.

And also, this idea of the fall, this expulsion, curiously also kind of leads to Adam and Eve only having each other (at least until some point). Similarly, Achilles and Patroclus are a duo, a couple and they live for each other and rise and fall together, regardless of whoever or whatever comes.

That's all, I don't have a huge conclusion to this - just thought it was interesting and wanted to share.

[wr0temyway0ut]

Hey dude hey, okay so I want to know about so so many of this but pretty please tell me about king boy alex who’s having lots of emotions 🙏��

Thank you for the ask Kyleigh!!

This au my beloved <3 It's my unhinged poly arranged marriage royalty au (I actually have 2 of those but this one is my favorite).

So basically how it goes is Prince Alexander's parents decide he needs to be married so they arrange a marriage between him and Princess Lucinda (aka Luke), who is trans but not out to his parents. And their whole honeymoon is Alex being like "oh no I can't get to close bc she actually likes me but I'm gay" and Luke being like "oh no I really like him but he must be pushing me away bc he knows I'm not a woman" and then they both accidentally confess to each other and actually fall in love now that they know they're both men interested in men.

But then Alex's parents find out that Luke is a man (and is intent on living as one) and since royals can't get divorced, they decide to tell the kingdom that "Princess Lucinda" has died tragically in her sleep, which allows Luke to transition (Alex's parents are against this part but Luke's parents ended up being supportive so they were kinda forced to go along with it).

But Alex is once again wifeless. So they decide, okay, you blew it with the "princess," so the next best thing is marrying Duke Covington's daughter, Lady Wilhelmina (aka Willie). Alex is planning on telling Willie that he's gay in an attempt to get him to call the marriage off, but he realizes almost immediately how abusive Caleb is and tells Willie "look I will marry you to get you out of there but I need you to know I'm gay and this is my husband who used to be my wife." And Willie is like "thank god bc I'm a man too" and Alex and Luke are like "a man you say 👀 did we happen to mention how handsome you are" and they bring Willie into their relationship. When Willie is ready, they tell Alex's parents that Alex's wife is once again his husband now and they tell the kingdom that Princess Wilhelmina has tragically died in a fire (he was a known arson enthusiast).

Aaand once again Alex needs a new wife bc there are still no heirs (and any made with Luke and Willie would be illegitimate). Alex's parents are running out of eligible women, but they meet Duchess Regina Peters (who runs the estate with her twin brother Reggie, or at least that's what Reggie, who is genderfluid and is also Regina, wants the world to think). And they're like you seem female and eligible will you marry our son. And Reggie's like yeah sure why not, except when he finds out Alex is gay he shows up to the wedding in Man Mode and it starts a riot but Alex finds a way to make the marriage go through anyway (maybe that they put Regina on the marriage certificate idk). And then two weeks later "Duchess Regina" is tragically trampled by sheep.

Alex's parents are exhausted. They're furious. They're 99% convinced Alex has hired a witch to turn all his fiances into men. And they're like fuck it. This time you pick a woman (bc maybe he's turning them all into men bc he doesn't like that his parents picked them.) And Alex sees an opportunity here. Bc back when Luke first came out, Alex's sister had a lady in waiting named Robin. And Robin had confided in Luke and Alex that he was trans as well. And so when Alex's parents say "you pick" he immediately points at Bobby and says "That one." (important to note that he did not consult with Bobby on this beforehand, Bobby nearly chokes on his food). And after they get married, Bobby comes out and suddenly Lady Robin has tragically drowned.

So now Alex has four husbands who are also in love with each other and still no wives, and it's at this point that Lady Julie (Luke's lady-in-waiting who just kinda stuck around after Luke's legal death) is like "You know I'd marry you to get your parents off your back right?"

And so Julie and Alex get married, and after she stays a woman for a year Alex's parents finally relax. And then Julie gets pregnant! And they're so happy that they finally step down and let Alex take the throne. Except... how is Julie pregnant? And when she gives birth, why does the baby look nothing like Alex??

Maybe bc after wedding #3 Reggie mentioned to Alex that he has a friend from school who is a trans woman named Flynn. And maybe Alex decided to hire her as his new royal advisor to give her an opportunity to transition. And maybe just maybe she and Julie fell in love.

And THAT is the tale of King Alexander, his four undead husbands, his wife, his wife's wife, and the royal-ish baby they're all raising together

[landfilloftrash]

@friendly-books oh god I'm about to have three nickels-- sorry for the entire post dedicated to this but I needed to explain in a way that was not about to be limited by character reply limit; ok how to explain-- so in Les Mis there are two characters that feature throughout the book; these two men are Javert and Jean Valjean.

Javert is a blueprint character; the inspiration for Donald Morgan if that explains his character for you (specifically). He is an inspector/cop and he follows the law to the very letter. Extremely Lawful Neutral. Extraordinarily earnest bootlicker; he genuinely thinks that is what he should do for the betterment of society.

Valjean is literally just a guy. Extremely strong and clever guy, "rough mind with a gentle heart", but still just a guy. This was a guy who broke a law when he was like 27, went to prison for 19 years, and when he got out broke parole and commits crimes for the betterment of other peoples lives (like breaking into houses and giving money in the dead of night during his stint as mayor). He's a big sweetheart with a whole lot of issues and PTSD. Where Javert is described as being so honest that you can look into his eyes and see all the way to the bottom of his conscience, Valjean is very secretive and keeps his emotions very close to his chest, not even letting his daughter know how he feels. He's a very sad old man. I love him.

But the reason I say "tragic/toxic old man yaoi" on that post is because throughout the book you can get the sense that Javert has.. a bit of a crush. Just a smidgen. Referring to Valjean as his convict, and watching him flee (thinking he had him caught [he did not because Valjean is extremely slippery and VERY GOOD AT ESCAPING THE LAW; specifically Javert]) simply because seeing him free was interesting to him. For example, one of my favorite lines is

"When he had so unexpectedly encountered Jean Valjean on the banks of the Seine, there had been in him something of the wolf which regains his grip on his prey, and of the dog who finds his master again."

Girl there are so many things wrong with you (breathless w/ affection)

But meanwhile Valjean sees him as a doggishly persistent hound/slave of the law chasing him all the while. Javert gets alllll the dog motifs. It's very funny because it's a resigned if slightly terrified "ah its this guy again, the one guy who knows my entire history" while he's running for his life.

But back on track (ahah get it), Javert has a chapter called "Javert Derailed" where he basically realizes that arresting Valjean when all he does is good would be morally incorrect, but NOT arresting Valjean would be LAWFULLY incorrect, so what's he supposed to do??; He is stuck in between a mental rock and a hard place-- so he chooses the third option of "well I refuse to be in a world where I'm forced to make that choice of letting a good man live his life and still be cop due to it being against the law"; Death. Now throughout the book, Victor Hugo points very viciously at the blue curtains with references to drowning men, the blue of the state (uniform), and water in slightly oblique ways. Which is how we come back to the yin and yang thing due to he dies. Another thing about Javert is he's very passionate about what he does and does things I associate with bright fire, and how can you douse fires? Water. So he would be Yang (aggressive, independent, self-sufficient, associated with the heaven [in the book, specifically with the archangel michael, and then of course he Fell, so Lucifer], with the center of Yin). Yin would be Valjean (quiet, aloof, earth, winter, but with center of Yang).

I hope this was coherent I'm so sorry if this is what gets you into this fandom; we have cookies

[aviculor]

I'm watching Birth/Rebirth, the new release I mentioned. Because it just came out recently, I'm going to spoiler tag my thoughts.

Oh my god, Celie IS played by the same actress as Carla from Scrubs! Judy Reyes! I knew it!

Rose is like a female Herbert West but even more clinical and asocial. I love when a piece of media has a woman who is a mad scientist and an offputting freak. I'd let her masturbate me in the bathroom.

Celie and Lila's story is so incredibly sad and compelling. The way the last time Celie saw Lila was when she was dropping her off with Pauline so she could go to work, and Pauline couldn't contact Celie when Lila got sick, and when Celie's phone was working again she heard all the voicemails including a message from Lila...it tugs at your heartstrings. It's tragic.

I know how blatantly obvious it is that Rose stole Lila's body because that's literally the premise of the film, but her behavior is just comically incriminating. What, you didn't think far enough ahead to have an alibi for when someone asks you where the body went? Also, how dumb would Celie have looked chasing Rose down and waiting outside her apartment and forcing her way inside if Rose's behavior wasn't related to Lila's whereabouts?

"Your daughter's genetic profile made her a perfect candidate for an experimental treatment I've been working on." "For meningitis?" "For death."

Crossing all kinds of ethical lines, I love it.

"Dignity and motherhood don't always line up". Another great quote.

The symbolism that Rose ended up sacrificing her reproductive system to bring Lila back into this world is not lost on me. Lila was figuratively birthed again. Rebirthed, you might say. Coupled with how Lila seemed to stop recognizing Celie as her mother and Rose became uncharacteristically warm and nurturing towards Lila. Which is especially jarring considering how the aforementioned sacrifice was due to her repeatedly...umm, "homebrewing"...stem cell serum.

Basically, motherhood is the overarching theme of the whole film. It's interesting how Writer/Director Laura Moss took inspiration from Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, as many people would interpret Victor and his creation as being father and son. This predicates that acts of "creating life" are all equal, be it birthing a baby or resuscitating a corpse. Which circles back around to what I just said about Rose effectively being Lila's second mother.

...Which segues into how Rose and Celie's situation has undertones of a same-sex relationship. Celie moves into Rose's apartment when she learns about Lila, the two begin caring for one another, they're both Lila's mothers in literal and figurative senses, and Rose (involuntarily) stops going to bars to give men handjobs and getting herself pregnant after the "relationship" starts. Rose does not come off as being attracted to men, being completely emotionless about collecting sperm samples as well as other small details that code her as a lesbian. But most egregiously, when Rose was hospitalized, Celie got the staff to break confidentiality by saying they lived together and that was met with "Oh. Oh."

The whole "What would a parent do to save their child?" Psychological Horror aspect that Pet Sematary had, this film is all that. Distilled, in spades, turned up to 11. I really liked it. I can't even spoil anything about the last act. Go watch it yourself. It wowed me a lot more than the last Shudder exclusive film I saw.

[blood-mocha-latte]

ok sending ask from my main acct but its ur girl antigonikk…. ur fic and i swear we were infinite….need to know 🩵💋🥰💕🇺🇸💅

fic ask game

my sole, unhinged harringrove fic (thank you love!)

my favorite scene

“That so?” Steve prompts slowly, when Hargrove doesn’t elaborate. He probably shouldn’t play into Hargrove’s palm, knows he doesn’t say anything kind for free and hardly ever charges anything, but, well.

He left his cigarettes back at the reserve trench, he supposes this is the next best thing.

“That’s so.” Hargrove repeats him, eyes still on the shoreline. “You need to be sturdy in water, otherwise it’ll pull you under. You never plant your feet, you’d be swept away.”

this was both the first thing i ever wrote for this beast, and the part i'm probably proudest of lol. it actually wasn't going to be in the Official Posted fic, but i loved it enough to include it in this. i feel like it's my solidification of both characters in a way that's satisfying to include (as a writer at least lmao) in a first chapter

my favorite chapter (if it's a multichapter)

chapter nine! my favorite part of the vietnam war has always been the study of guys Coming Home and what it was like to have no time to readjust to the us. it's about the Healing and Mental Health babes!!

hardest scene to write

He glances up at Steve Harrington again – whose attention is once more on Tommy Hagan – and looks down just as quickly. Takes one deep drag of the smoke before putting it out on his flak jacket.

(Two inches to the left, his mind tells him. Two inches to the left, and smoke and fire on skin. Back in California. Be nice, be simple.

Fuck simple, he tells himself, as viciously as he can.)

He pushes himself off the ground and grabs his tommy gun, arches his back to pop it. He can feel Harrington's eyes on him. 

MAKE WAR, NOT LOVE. He reminds himself.

MAKE WAR, NOT LOVE. His helmet supplies.

Do you believe it? Steve Harrington asks, all soft, hoarse vocals and shining skin.

Does it matter?

the entirety of chapter two is like this but OH MY GOD internal reflection is so fucking hard lmao. billy hargrove introspection you will always haunt me <3

favorite character to write in the fic

patrick mckinney my bestie my beloved. basically the entire fic was my excuse to write a love letter to patrick mckinney i won't lie

favorite dynamic to write in the fic

the (possible) munver was sooooo fun... they have a history, they're strange, they're incredibly volatile, they're both assholes, they end tragically and with no satisfaction.

there's actually a sequel from jason's pov but it is. so fucking sad lmao. A Single Snippet, for you???

There’s no happy ending for men like him. Jason doesn’t have to be wise to know that. Stories of men beaten to a pulp, chained by their wrists and ankles, locked to trucks and barrels and tractors and dragged, dead and bleeding, through cheering streets.

But Jason can’t even pretend to care about a happy ending when Eddie Munson smiles wide with dark eyes and curly hair. He can’t bear to pray for forgiveness when the sin he’s committing is so close to the heat of hell that it warms his ice cold heart.

Like the searing of a fiery scythe that slices right through his middle.

why I chose that title

this is written for a friend of mine, and the book perks of being a wallflower is their favorite book :)

a fun fact about the fic

i wrote it in one summer while working double shifts at a hospital lol. i fear you might be able to tell because sis my mind was WACK

[sollucets]

ok so. so i made it out of midnight museum e3 alive but im gonna have to do something normal and calming for a while now because oh fuck me too many moths even like skipping scenes and cringing away from the screen. im unwell. many disorganized thoughts go here

so i Was right about dome frankly. i mean the hints were there (jib dialogue last episode + the long time no rent thing from e1) but for me it was that hes too stupid to be a full person (sorry baby i love u). like saying ‘is this normal’ about resurrection and lit. just going with whatever happens to him and running headlong into stupid situations. he literally Only just woke up. he has no brain head empty hes just doing the One thing hes been told hes good at and useful for. oh no baby :( they really keep putting him through it every episode LMAO.

got a Lot more worried khatha this episode plus a bunch more face touching. and sitting by his bedside. tor is So good with those shiny eyes of pain like … i dont know how he does that but its incredible. his face. his little tsundere look away / posture adjustment when dome woke up like you didnt literally die for this man recently. they are getting gayer each episode. again ive established i dont care about “bl status” it doesnt matter to me if they kiss but boy its just so…. they HAVE to know what theyre doing with this

i really like this show i Would Not have put myself through this for less agh. i still almost quit multiple times

that opening flashback scene with triphob’s grandfather was really good. by the way. i love immortals i love immortality. i love the moon (showing up just barely in blurry flashbacks)

bright did fucking Great this episode. im not too familiar with him, mostly from f4 thailand bits but he was so fucking creepy!!!!! tragic little murdery sadboy. what a mess. the whole house invasion scene was Sooooooooo. augh. freaky. everything he did was fucked up

i have some…. thoughts…. about the girl in this episode, rin, and her agency / lack thereof honestly. combined with the bride’s “men writing her story” thing….. its. hmmm. but i’m not sure i’m equipped to express that properly without rewatching and frankly i dont know if im capable of rewatching this episode

if i turn my lizard brain off also the vampire moths are a great horror concept and they were very aesthetically cool to someone who does not have. a lifelong fear of those fucking things

also yeah ‘cycle of death and rebirth’ confirms the reincarnation thing but i’m thinking that not only did khatha enounter past life dome / “that person” / “chan” but also like. present life pre-memories dome? and that’s why he was surprised when dome didnt remember him. it wouldnt make sense for him to be surprised a reincarnation didnt remember him. they definitely met pre-wipe

v fun to learn that june is immortal too??? but like. frankly im still so confused about her lmao. she was an immortal museum worker before this?? but she became the bride?? but they all forgot her past but she remembers being immortal and the artifacts? but she has bride magic now??? dont get me wrong i like her a lot shes great for wisdom and being the only one nice to dome but hoo boy

ok. theres all the bits in no particular order

so. yeah!!!! yeah i was so proud of myself for being mostly chill with the first two episodes of murder and body horror but uh i was NOT good with this. gods fuck why moths

[dollwrites]

Hi! YESSS the hound from game of thrones!! I want that man so bad oh my god 😩 I’ve been in love with him since the first time I ever saw him in the show but the scene where the guy was like are you gonna die over some chicken? And he was like someone is 😐 it was OVER for me. I’m pretty sure in the books he’s supposed to be like 6’8 too, literally makes me tear up thinking about it 😭 the way Sansa is kinda in love with him in the books, she’s so me lol.

You do NOT have to be ashamed about viserys iii he literally started my obsession with Targaryen men 🤭 I still think that he’s probably the best representation of what Targaryen men are supposed to look like, he’s so damn pretty my god. I was kinda sad he died so quickly just because he was so nice to look at lol. The scene of him in the bath 👀 also if you read about him in the book it’s honestly really sad, he lived a really tragic life it’s honestly no wonder he turned out so awful.

Girl are we gonna have to talk about got now that you’re watching it 👀 got was my favorite show of all time before hotd started. I actually didn’t have high hopes for hotd because I loved got so much I thought it couldn’t compare. There are way too many characters in got that I love and/or want to fuck 😭 in hotd there’s only like 3 characters that I really care about but with got there’s such a long list lol.

Girl aegon kinda annoys me because ain’t no way any man deserves two whole wives 🤨 I love him and his wives tho especially visenya 😏 visenya is the definition of girlboss lmao she had girls admiring her almost 300 years later. But do NOT get me started about Maegor GOOD GOD NOW THATS A MAN 😭 like a buff mean as hell Targaryen?? I literally can’t take him 😩 he literally waited for aegon to die because he said balerion was the only dragon worthy of him, the fucking aura (and audacity) of this man lmao. I’ll have to send you a TikTok of some of his official/fan art it’s so good

Tell me when you get to cunty alicent I love her so much in the books lol. I have such a weakness for bitchy mean women, no matter what I watch the mean girl will always be my favorite. I would literally give anything for alicent to be mean to me 🥲 in the first season when she told leanor that maybe someday a kid would look like him I was so excited thinking we were getting book alicent but we haven’t really seen her since 😭

Also of course lmk when you get to aemond! I’m so interested to see what you think and if you like show aemond better

I will definitely send you aegon TikTok’s, they range from either really cute or really sad there’s no in between lol. Or horny lol I forget sometimes that he’s a huge whore, when he told baela if you ever wish to know what it’s like to be truly satisfied all you have to do is ask 👀

My mom also liked daemon until he killed aegons son, she was so so angry after that like she acted like daemon just killed her own son LOL she was like I’m so beyond disgusted I never want to see his face again 😡 like as if she just broke up with him lmaoo. She doesn’t like aemond either tho but she knows better than to trash talk him, there’s a rule in my house that there will be no negative talk about aemond not even a word lol. My mom’s so weird tho she loved viserys, like out of everyone you like him 🤨 disturbing tbh…

No literally I just don’t see it when people say that daemon is the most interesting character like all his scenes are boring 🥱 (can you tell I really fucking hate daemon lol). It was so hilarious to me that he literally threw a tantrum like a 4 year old when nyra was mad at him for killing aegons son, he really went “why are you mad at me for killing a baby 😖” and stormed out, abandoning his wife and children during active war lmao. Also was it just me who burst out laughing when he turned around in the aemond cosplay?? That just proves to me that aemond is way more attractive because he looked so fucking stupid dressed as aemond lmao

I still will never understand how daemon is a fan favorite, and why people judge aemond and aegon for their morals but daemon gets a pass. People are fucking awful about the greens sometimes, especially aegon. I’ve seen people on tiktok and twitter say that if you like aegon you must be a rapist, or if you like aemond/aegon you’re a terrible person, piece of shit, have no morals, etc etc. but with all the bad shit daemons done it’s crickets. People even say him and nyra are couples goals 🤢 and literally just today I saw a big group of people say you can’t be a feminist and team green, like my god it’s just a tv show for Christ sake lmao. the fandom can really be insufferable at times, they took the whole team green verses team black way too seriously to the point that they attack people who like the other side. It’s so annoying like just let me enjoy my immoral pookies 🙄

Tbh in my own hc world aegon is king and aemond and him don’t hate each other and all the dragons are safe 🥲 and alicent has a gf. And I get to fuck all three… lol but no really I wish the dragons didn’t have to fight each other it’s the worst part of the whole war. Especially sunfyre he’s so young and cheerful and beautiful 😭 like you know vhagar is my favorite but I would honestly rather see her die than sunfyre, vhagar is so old and probably ready to go lol but sunfyre is literally a ray of sunshine, it’s like watching a puppy die ☹️ I love his relationship with aegon, I desperately want to save them both lol.

Omg aegon and his wives three way perhaps? 👀 and aegon ii fic you say!? You’re spoiling me lol. Listen with alicent I think we’re gonna need a show alicent fic and then a book alicent fic once you get to her, you could do cunty alicent perfectly 🙏 I’m not gonna judge you for the Jace fic lol even though I hate his character I love the guy that plays him, and he leveled up so hard this season with the long curly hair so I kinda get it tbh. I’m so excited for January, seeing/reading about aemond through your eyes is going to kill me 😭 when I sent you the first ask months ago I didn’t think anything would really come of it, but I’m so glad that you love aemond now 🤭

HELLO MY BELOVED HOTD NONNIE !! Happy holidays if you celebrate any 💚💚 I MISSED TALKING TO YOU

Okay I don’t know if I’ve said this or not I apologize if I’m repeating myself but I’ve only ever seen season 1 so this is like my first time officially watching the full thing! I’m almost done with season 3 now ( dreading the red wedding episode 😭 ) but Robb you sexy idiot—

I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW IF YOU HAD A CONSISTENT FAVE FROM EVERY SEASON I’m doing this thing with my bffs where I’m giving them my top 3 faves from each season and so far it’s been like

1. Jorah, Ned, Drogo

2. Jorah, Hound, Jaqen

3. Jorah, Hound, Ramsay

I’m ready to be roasted for this… SKSKKSKS I can’t help it, I get dreamy over either old men or men that would kill so easily ( Jaqen oml )

Sighs dreamily… Jorah…

I see a thick old man and suddenly I’m barking HAHAH

FIRE & BLOOD !! I’m like past the part where rhaenyra took the crown. I’m actually in awe at the way the throne is rejecting her AND THE WAY THEY COMPARE HER TO MAEGOR ?! I cringed when I heard what the white worm wanted to do to Alicent and Helaena like ok I actually like the white worm in the show I don’t remember her real name bc she’s not that important to me slsks but in the books ?! Die. Die a million times. Idc if she considers it justice for the lowborn, its disgusting and I wanted to VOM

Book aemond… babe you did not adequately prepare me for him AHHH he’s so sexy BUT IM PISSED BC I THINK I SAW SOME ART OF HOW HE DIES… do not tell me that LAMEon kills him… I will CRASH OUT

NOT THE DAEMON IN AEMOND COSPLAY I was like mortified I was so excited to see our man and then he turned around and I was like

I’m tired of his ass !!! Also since I’ve been in the fandom I’ve noticed the fans on the nyra’s side are so delusional 🤨 they bring up that the show creators are “obviously team green” but like if that’s true they wouldn’t cut out nyra’s cruelty, they wouldn’t have just MADE UP the Criston / Alicent shit to make her seem like a hypocrite ( which she wasn’t lmao her husband was dead who tf cares ), they also created the whole aemond aegon rooks rest drama like outta nowhere?? REMIND ME AGAIN HOW TJE CREATORS PREFER THE GREENS—

Sorry, you have already been saying this I know but I FINALLY UNDERSTAND

All the dragon fighting is HURTING my heart, especially watching GOT they keep referencing it and even the chapters in fire & blood are called the dying of dragons and IT MAKES ME SO SAD Vermithor is my fave now, granny Vhagar is second, and I think probably Sunfyre, Dreamfyre, and Silverwing 🥺 but I also think the cannibal is sick sounding, I wonder if we’ll see it and sheep stealer next season ??

IVE BEEN SO ANNOYING ABOUT AEGON, VISENYA, RHAENYS, AND MAEGOR SPECIFICALLY! Bc I’m going to write for them I’ve been fan casting ! Maegor my fancast is Henry Cavill specifically as geralt which may be a basic answer but I think he’s big and square enough 😂😂

I probably will not write for Jahaerys bc that man PMO SO BAD. He didn’t deserve my baby Vermithor !!! Pussy King bad dad skskskks Alysanne my angle though 💚

YEAH SO WITHOUT GIVING TOO MUCH AWAY.. the aegon i fic will have both wives involved 😈THE AEMOND FICS IVE BEEN WORKING ON… there’s one that’s just like a set of headcanons that involve him reinstating the right to first night 😏 and there’s a couple of other scenarios that I don’t want to give away until they’re ready bc I want them to be a surprise for you!! ( I also may have a hound hc post ANd a Ramsay fic in the works too )

Also I have to thank you so much for the tiktoks you sent!! I went through a rough couple of weeks and I was so happy to take my mind off it with our BD 💚💚

[1d1195]

I would never just leave without at least saying goodbye! I know I’ll probably leave at some point since life happens but I cherish every interaction we’ve had so I wouldn’t just leave you hanging💕

Also hot TA was kinda crazy one day he came in carrying on his bike into lecture and bestie… this man was wearing his button down open and I could see his muscles! I was I freezes up again😭

I’m so glad you are feeling better! Hope that during this break you can rest and get the much needed self care time! I understand how writing series can be a bit discouraging since people do tend to not want to commit for various reasons. I don’t think though that the stories aren’t worth telling. While I do think it can be time consuming and it is a lot of work, I think you’re series have been so amazing and sometimes it’s hard to come up with ways to say how great they are! But of course bestie whatever you decide is what’s best! Plus December has rough so inspo or brain power can be hard!

I’ve never knew that about Massachusetts, that’s so cute! Omg I love apple pies! We don’t really bake(lowkey I could have been a baker but my mom is crazy about the kitchen lol) so we go to this very small town where they make the best pies ever, I die every time lol also kinda crazy your sister almost destroyed your family’s history with pressing flowers 😭(love pressing flowers so I get her lol) also love that you guys have a cookbook! Can’t relate as in everything is done through memory and I was not blessed with that lol

I think at this point basketball bf is just top tier! I’ll definitely be surprised if any new book guys take his place!

This full moon was actually so pretty and it was probably the first clear night we’ve had in a while! -💜

I dread the day I leave tumblr lol. I love it here honestly. I love our interactions so much. It will be tragic. 💕

He so did that on purpose. Men are the worst. Then you're supposed to focus on school? No. Impossible. Some weird form of torture to just look at muscles when you're supposed to be learning.

I do really love baking. I don't think I'm THAT good at it or anything (thinking of Miss Cupcake in Ding) but it's nice and I'm good at following a recipe. I'm def feeling much better. A little lacking in Christmas spirit to be honest now that it's really upon us, but I'm going to do some cleaning as soon as I wrap up these messages so maybe that will help. I will def be finishing The Lottery but I might take a break from writing new series for a while (which is probs good, because not sure I have any ideas for series in mind right now--oh that was a lie, I have like two in my drafts lol. But still). I know I need to not harp on it, but anyway. The third part is scheduled for tomorrow and it's Christmas themed so I am excited about it!

Yes! The woman who invented chocolate chip cookies is actually from a nearby town from me. I think MA has like the coolest history and I'm so nerdy and die-hard about all things MA lol I'm honestly not really a pie person but my aunt used to make us these chocolate pies that were so good I became a pie person.

My sister is a wrecking ball when it comes to her projects.

The moon was super pretty this time around and my kids were only slightly unhinged, God bless, this time around. I think Peach would have loved it! 😉

xoxo

[greenrow]

The song of Achilles rant by a sleep deprived person!

-----------Spoiler warning for the content of The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

Please correct if i say something incorrectly here. It's 4 am and my brain won't shut up about this and I'm saying all of this at the top of my head.

Please remember that this is just my opinion. I promise im not actually mad about this /srs

As much as i love tsoa it's not a perfect book. It has its fair share of flaws

I have a major issue about how some characters are portrayed in the book and i think out of the entire cast Patroclus gets it the worst.

I do not like the "uwu shy boy" vibes Patroclus gives throughout the book. This is not a "oh no, somone looked slightly bad at me, im going to cry over here now since it hurt my feelings" sort of guy. He is a "i could kill you if i wanted to, but you're really worthy of that much effort" sort of guy. My man was a badass.

Patroclus was a warrior and a doctor.

He killed another child when he was but a kid over a game of dice.

He killed twelve men alone (one of them being a son of ZEUS) when he was pretending to be Achilles.

He almost infiltrated troy ALONE but Apollo stopped him from doing so.

Hector was able to kill him since he was already weakened by Apollo's interference.

A actual GOD had to get directly involved to stop patroclus from getting into Troy's walls.

And he was trained by Chiron, he was a terrific medic.

When Achilles refused to fight any longer for a Agamemnon's battle that was made worse because of his pride, Patroclus took apon himself to take care of his fellow comrades. If it weren't for his help and medical knowledge it's most likely the Greeks would of had to deal with way more casualties.

I feel the need to emphasize this:

Patroclus was not a damsel in distress. He was not in need of Achilles's contant protection as Miller portrays him as.

Patroclus was Achilles's partner both in love and in battle for a reason.

I would say this is my biggest beef with tsoa to be honest. But like i said i love this book. It's one of my favourites. And i can excuse all that i mentioned before and have an actual good time reading this books because of a couple of reasons.

For starters miller's way of describing things and telling a story is really nice to me. Like i could feel Patroclus's emotions as if they were my own. I could feel, touch, taste his love for Achilles.

And besides tsoa is a retelling of an epic written by a poet who was writing about a story of a war (based on a historical event that may or may not have happen). All of this, Achilles and Patroclus's relationship, the war over helen, Odysseus, might not even have happen. So why be upset over a piece of fiction.

If you wanted an accurate depiction of the trojan war and of Achilles and Patroclus you would read the source material. The Iliad. (Which you should totally do if you haven't already, it's a classic for a reason).

At the end of the day it's still a story. A retelling of a relationship detailed in the original source.

A good tragic love story about two men who loved each other so much that they would know eachother even in death.

To the point where they were made of memories.

[reallyromealone]

Fortune teller

Part 1 - Part 2

It was a late night as the Bonten men left the club, chatting about God knows what as they made their way to the black BMW without a care in the world as the meeting went successfully.

“oh sorry!” A stranger said as he bumped into ran, hands touching only briefly as ran caught the other but that was enough.

“Traitors from the sea will tear apart the gold sunset” the young man dressed in a loose white shirt and sweatpants, a hoody loosely hung over them said as their eyes turned white as they quickly pulled away and looked frazzled “shit..!” They mumbled before running away.

“what the fuck?”

The men couldn’t get the strangers words out of their minds.

It wasn’t until their partners in Thailand tried to steal their shipment of golden glow, a hallucinogenic drugs that was making waves on the streets.

“holy shit he predicted it…”

“has to be a coincidence right?”

(name) sat in his apartment, legs crossed and hands gloved to avoid another incident as he played with a star puzzle, he enjoyed puzzles without knowing exactly how to do them via fortunes.

He doesn’t know why he can do it but he can predict the Future of anything he touches with his hands and it was annoying to say the least.

Knowing when people’s happiest moments happened only to learn their most tragic.

And seeing how they die.

That broke him.

Only person who he couldn’t see was himself, it never worked and he was honestly thankful for it.

He knew he wouldn’t be able to take knowing how he died.

Only a select few knew of this ‘gift’ and even fewer knew not to ask for their fortunes.

The other night was a mistake.

Nothing more.

Not like he would see them again, right?

The days and nights turned into a haze as (name) continued to be his reclusive self and was completely unaware of the cosmic explosion he caused amongst the most feared men in Japan who desperately tried to find the little fortune teller.

Why wouldn’t they?

He could lead Bonten to greatness after all.

Sweatpants, a loose fitting tee and a sweater that hung over him lazily along with a pair of slides.

That’s all they had along with glowing eyes.

The men were growing more frustrated as they practically hunted the man down but to no avail, it was like he didn’t want to be found.

It wasn’t till one fateful day.

One glorious day.

That Mochi saw him while grocery shopping, the man was young, probably early to mid twenties as his gloved hands held two items, comparing.

He was cute, he wouldn’t deny that.

“you know, you’re really hard to get ahold of” Mochi whispered as he pretended to look at items, the other hardly flinching as he continued browsing “do I know you?”

“my boss has been looking for you”

“aren’t we all looking for something?”

“not many look for someone whose eyes glow white and tells the future”

That made (name) stiffen “you on drugs or some shit?”

“just come with me” mochi said simply as (name) felt something cold press against his back.

“fine…”

(name) was miffed to say the least, just wanting to go home and nap but nooooo! He had to attract attention to the most dangerous crime organization in the damn country! This is why he stays home!

He sat Infront of eight men who were honestly to pretty to be fair but that was besides the point.

“sooo, what do you guys want exactly?”

“what do you do?”

“freelance video editing”

“you know what we mean”

“ah right… that”

“answer or we kill you”

“when you have seen the deaths of those you love most, death isn’t as scary as you think” (name) said seriously, staring into nothing with cold methodical eyes.

Eyes of someone who has seen a lot.

“so you see fortunes or some shit?” Takeomi asked with a raised eyebrow and (name) just shrugged “when I touch something, I can see whatever or whoever I touches future, longer I touch more I see” (name) said simply fiddling with his gloves “so the gloves..”

“it gets really annoying seeing everything’s outcome”

“does it matter if it’s living or not?”

“nope, can see a hamsters future or a god damn pens” (name) said casually as he slouched in the comfy chair “so what do you guys want anyways?”

“you predicted traitors of Bonten trying to steal drugs” Mikey finally spoke up, cold black eyes staring him down.

“how fun” (name) was barely phased at this news, the memories of his most recent fortune burned into his mind like the rest “so what?”

“we want you”

“eh?”