#oh god im rambling in the tags thats enough of that

[ghostorbz]

I hope nobody has done this yet

[naralovesangst]

Thinking about how my Courier Six and Benny really are just Bastard4Bastard

They both cheat whenever they play cards, Six goes out of their way to mess with Benny's hair whenever possible, Benny purposely walking just ever so slightly slower than he normally would, causing Six to slow down and causing them to be ever so slightly late to various things. Six stealing Benny's suit jacket and Benny stealing Six's duster.

Meanwhile Yes Man is in his last nerve trying to get these assholes to just do their jobs as co-rulers of the Mojave.

[soundleer]

Literally had a BIG motivation to draw Peebii & Jaylene with Abel & Adam is almost like twin sisters meeting twin brothers:D

Abel & Jaylene

I think this two would get along very well,Abel teaching her some spell that he learn and comfort her if she feel nervous and might be SUPER OVERPROTECTIVE since Abel is the eldest twin and they would even talk together the cult they join with Jevin

Adam & Peebii

I felt like they would both have chaotic relationships (mostly BC of Peebii) but still have the best younger brother and big sister energy and I can tell Peebii would love to bully Adam with bugs and centipedes XD Then I thought something evil in my head by Peebii literally saw Adam's head flew off from his body after being murdered by Black

GIGGLES AND FLUTTERESS OOH I LOVES THEIR DYNAMIC

(ALSO GODDAMNN THE HORROR PEEBII AND ADAM INTERACTION 😭😭)

[im-smart-i-swear]

Does Jiro has ghost like abilities (possession, ability to levitate things, etc etc) or does she just live in Shiro's head?

when i created this au, i thought the best option would be for her to be unable to interact with the physical world in any way(including possesion), beacuse i really wanted to lean into her isolation and how it affects her....... and while thats something i still want to emphasise here, lately ive been toying with the idea of jiro being able to impact the physical world somehow(though it still being fairly limited). i think letting her have some control could have a lot of potential! buuuut i also have no idea what abilities i want her to have lol

For now i think im not gonna give her any telekinetic abilities, bc i feel like it would be giving her too much power......... if she could throw shit, shed go APESHIT with it. it would made things too easy for her. i'm sorry babygirl but i'm NOT giving you the possibilty to throw knives and other sharp objects, i dont trust you to not kill someone:/

i really like the idea of her being able to temporarily posses her old body in certain circumstances tho- maybe when shiros uncouncious?? or like when hes is very tired or heavily injured she can kind of 'squeeze through' and take control back for a few minutes???? idk. i think this could be a very cool ability to give her- it cant be frequently used but can also be very helpful, and also theres so much potential for ✨shenanigans✨here>:) oh god i could put these fuckers in so many Situations with this..........

uhhh. so basically i think all of her influence on the physical world are through shiro. shes here bc of her connection to her old body, and thus its the only way for her to interact with anyone besides him- and shes NOT HAPPY about this(neither is shiro).

[gabi-take-the-wheel]

my personal spiral down the rabbit hole that is the prosenna tag on tumblr led me to read 'the power and the glory' by david sedgwick and. well. i had a lot of thoughts. well, mostly feelings, but they're still thoughts, and because i am an impulsive being with no self-restraint i am going to share them with the rest of you guys. expect a lot of rambling and incoherent sentences and jumbled rants that make no sense. may the forza be with you.

***

thots while reading tpatg alain: im kinda boring compared to ayrton hehe also alain: *forges weekend pass for funsies to pursue racing* babes pls bfsfr

sneaky little shit (affectionate)

i love how david consistently refers to alain as a "little french guy" like yes he is tiny yes he is smol yes you are mentioning it at opportunity given tf

not them never failing to mention his nose too like ok doja cat i see you

he is a nailbiter thats so cute

"Who could not possibly warm to a man who chooses to call his yacht Wet Dreams?" me tf

"Who is the Prost asshole anyway?" girl bye 😭😭

"Shit, I have to take care of this guy!" and just like that, prosenna was born

"Water, water everywhere" must be the water

senna after a rainy monaco race: i win! f1: um, i think tf not

i know people (read: ladies) thought senna was the shit back in the day but like that was kinda weird to read ngl

tyrell + the media: the french won the french race led by french people because of some french rando waving the flag so the french is to blame! ickx: im actually belgian tyrell: i dont give a FUCK keisha!

them: we call racism! prost: pls i just want to go home and sleep

"Alain Prost. That name again." yes ho the same guy you put up posters of on the walls of your childhood bedroom we know

"Had the driver not been able to extricate himself from the burning wreck, he might well have ended up a Brazilian marshmallow." this is funny to me im sorry

"That most residents are unable to distinguish a Nelson Piquet from a Nelson Mandela hardly matters." LMFAOOOO GET REKT

man f nelson me and my homies hate nelson (senna momentarily possessed me during this idk what to tell y'all)

"Rosberg, Alboreto, Lauda, Piquet, Mansell, they will all cross swords with the Lotus protégé in 1985, but there’s just one driver who Senna is gunning for, one driver that matters: Alain Prost."

cue that one The Office meme: OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING EVERYBODY STAY CALM (whats the procedure man whats the procedure?) STAY FUCKING CALM

senna documentary 2004: anything senna says, the opposite happens the power and the glory: anything alain says, it happens right so, alain, im gonna need you to say "senna is alive" so that the fcker will come back from the dead and i can interview him to filth with a stick thank yeww

elio: *wins grand prix because alain's car was underweight* wtf just happened

not ferrari ferarri-ing in 1985.

must be the water

'Alain giggles. Selina blushes. Others cringe.' others was senna and me btw

"It is not enough though. Only one thing will quench his thirst: to be acclaimed the undisputed king of his chosen sport, a title currently held by a certain Frenchman." my reaction to this was not in fact normal

"Ayrton Senna had just become public enemy number one." first time?

"When he predicted Senna would take ‘at least ten poles this year’, as usual Prost had been right on the money. Poles will come all too easily, wins less so." i love it when shit he says becomes real

"...back in the McLaren pit in company with that rarely seen creature, Madame Prost." MAMA PROST?!?!!? oh no wait its his wife. MADEMOISELLE PROST?!?!?

prost: i am the best, i am number one senna: and i took that personally

crazy ass nutting because the car felt good 😭😭 1988 equivalent of "shit so good made my dih hard" dawg what 😭 inchident #1

"‘It’s not fair! It’s not fair! It’s my turn!’ By now Ayrton is on the point of eruption." relax ho

mind games aint even start yet and he was already acting up

alain rein it in a bit hes boutta go feral

i need to remind myself that they hated each other's ass back in the day

"Enzo Ferrari is senile. Nigel Mansell thick, his wife ugly and Senna gay." DAMN i just started reading part two calm down 😭 senna is, btw, for prost i mean. the psychosexual obsession tag in ao3 is not there for show yknow

"Maybe they have also found their own worst nightmares: each other." strap on mfs this is where it truly begins

tpatg: there's rain in this race me: *immediately knows who the winner is* i take it back alain won HHAHAHHAHAHA

"Four years later, it still hurts." meanwhile prost absolutely dgaf abt that race bro LET IT GO

"I’m going to blitz him …" this ho's motto for life. what you gonna do when he aint on the grid no more, huh, kill yourself? ...too soon?

dawg everytime piquet is not having a good time senna possesses me and dunks on his ahh like pls stop hating vicariously through me bro 😭😭 like whens it gonna be alains turn to possess me 😔

"Three races into their partnership and already the two drivers are watching one another’s every move like a couple of eagles, worried lest the other man should gain even the slightest of advantages." ong they just don play abt each other 😭😭

that paragraph of piquet's yacht just casually inserted in the middle of a prosenna monologue felt like an "and bumblebee!" ahh moment

the girls are fighting

i know it aint so (tf is this miss yeehaw bad boy all the way across the fcking sky ahh grammar) but like i cant help but imagine senna speaking telepathically to his bestie berger in the back like 'mate i need you to defend tf against him pls its important shit like this give me an immense ego boost as well as an immense boner pls' and berger's just *thumbs up*

"I’m going to lap Alain Prost! At Monaco!" i just know his dih was hard the entire race. inchident #2

"Until an encounter with the Portier corner, that is." the ho just had to one up his teammate now didnt he

ayrton: *in a fucking mental crisis* alain: :P ✌️

i cant believe i just addressed senna by his first name tf

me as i continue to read senna's parts in tpatg: *with dawning horror of the realization* oh no... oh no... he's just like me fr...

who i wish i was like: alain prost who i really am: ayrton senna i will be back within three business days... let me recover from this first

"As for the shining light at sea and the compelling urge to follow its aura into oblivion – that he keeps to himself." not the foreshadowing

on a much funnier lighter note that could've been alain chanting "pls crash pls crash pls crash pls crash pls crash' in his head and then it suddenly manifesting lmaoooo

"‘Psychologically, this was an important win for me,’ grins Prost afterwards." its all about the mind games for these hoes now isnt it

aw nostalgia <3<3<3<3

little man word count: lost count

idk the outcome of this race (yet) so im going to pretend that this is happening just now for me instead of 30 plus years ago, so im keeping my fingers crossed and hoping that alain wins or outqualifies senna at least lol.

im scared to read the next lines lmao.

"I have to be as close to perfection as possible because Alain is always like that too – close to perfection." bro just admitted in front of the whole wide world that alain is the shit. just say youre gay for each other, kiss and move on. god these two keep making me feel things

"‘So Senna says he has to be perfect because of me,’ smiles Prost in response. ‘I’m facing the same situation – I have to be perfect because of him. He wants the championship and he wants to beat me. No problem between him and me. He is quicker and I have no excuses, but honestly I don’t think he is that much quicker.’" i cant explain it but alain is giving it girl here like yas queen slayyy. i love my sneaky little psychological tormentor

"His objective is clear: break Prost’s heart in front of his home crowd." and his back— WHAT WHO SAID THAT

rahhh the girls are FIGHTING fighting ts giving me goosebumps i feel like im watching the race itself

lmao he forgot hes a mclaren driver. its giving carlos missing the williams pit in 2025

YALL TS MAKING ME NUT BRO IM PULLING AN INCHIDENT #1 ONG IT GOT ME SO HYPE

ron: economy mode! prosenna: f the economy i gotta put this ho in the wall first

its funny how nelsons much more interested in them fighting than in winning a race. its giving that one meme where two guys are beating each other up in the back and then one guy is just posing chill in front of them. nelson 'this is what i like to see!' ahh piquet

OH MY GOD HE TOOK THE LEAD OHMYGODOHMYGODOH MY GOD HOLY SHIT HOW MANY MORE INCHIDENTS AM I GOING TO EXPERIENCE

HE WON HOLY SHIT THIS IS THE NUT OF MY LIFE HE ACTUALLY DID IT VIVE LA FRANCE YALL KNOW WHAT IM SAYING LIKE no cus fr im actually getting insane goosebumps rn. tears in my alain prost eyes.

the last line of the french grand prix chapter: Round seven to the Professor. me: slay the first line of the next chapter, the italian grand prix: Prost is finished! Prost is a coward! me: wtf what the hell is this whiplash

if this book so much as mentions a 'wet race' i immediately think of senna, like you cannot lie he is the undisputed master of the rain fr

genuine question why is senna called a young pretender. what he pretending to be, straight? mb mb

"Can anyone stop Senna?" yes me lmfaoooo

"‘It’s over. Ayrton is the new world champion. He deserves it,’ declares Prost after his team-mate takes a facile victory in Belgium – his seventh win of the year." i know for a fact senna started giggling, twirling his hair and kicking his feet when he heard that

damn the number of times alain finished second to senna? i know bro mustve been on a power trip then. fck me i cannot get the idea of him having such an huge ego blast that he starts nutting out of my head. this is all haruchimaki's fault

"...back then, the world champion was decided on the number of wins not points." *immediately starts counting how many wins prosenna has*

"For the first time in a while, the Italian squad believe." was 1988 also the last time they believed? lewis is starting to throw a fit dawg someone save the 2025 ferrari

"...unable to accept being bettered by the younger, hungrier man?" ayo haha lets not insinuate now hold on

"They are hoping, praying for a miracle. Forza Ferrari!" literally the tifosi rn hahhahah

ohohh shit the girly's plotting. i love it when he does that dawg

"Prost can afford to smile: his team-mate has taken the bait." ooooh you devious little man!

not me praying for berger to win

God bless the french LMAOOOO

nah cus alain definitely manifested that, he was like, 'if im not the one who will take senna down today, at least please let it be another french' and it was another french HAHAHAHAH bless you jean-louis

"‘No problem,’ replies Ayrton. ‘I had enough fuel to last.’" i know alain is smiling behind his hand under the guise of biting his nails lmaooo a win is a win

"Not long after that infamous day at Monza where he played such an unwitting role, Jean-Louis will marry the ex-wife of tennis legend Bjorn Borg. Among the guests will be one Alain Prost." bro really said 'gotta pay my respects to my homeboy for ruining my rivals day' HAHAHHAHA

"...fumed a victorious Prost post-race before disappearing into the McLaren motorhome for a ‘chat’ with a very sheepish team-mate.'" oh so the ho actually knows how to be self-aware. this is so me i cannot— STOP SHOWING SIGNS OF BEING MY KIN DAMMIT for some reason though all i can think of is small alain going off at senna pissed off and all and then ayrton is just 'blah blah blah proper name place name backstory stuff' good material for the femprost fic im brewing in my head hehheheeh

"...but are Honda manipulating the outcome of the world championship?" nah its just alain manifesting. pop off queen

nobody hates the french more than the french

"Besides, Balestre has long been thought of as a little unhinged – a garlic-breathing megalomaniac who just happens to wear a blazer." so what that does make mbs?

"...sleep-deprived Prost..." probs the only time i'll ever relate to the guy 😭

"Where’s the fire? Answer: In Alain’s pants!" wtf i just flipped back to the tpatg tab on my laptop and this is the first sentence i see 😭😭😭

little man word count: still lost count. david just loves referring to alain as short now doesnt he. like we get it hes a short king but come on

"Race morning and the bright skies gradually start to disappear behind a cloak of grey. Perhaps this is the moment that Alain Prost knows the 1988 world championship will be heading for Brazil. On a dry track the Frenchman reckons he is more than capable of holding his own, but on a wet surface …" aw hecks nahh its a wet race even alain knows who boutta win this gp we're severely cooked.

something about the fact that senna is good at rainy races makes me feel giddy though idk i just think its pretty neat

"Not a chance in hell." oh shit its about to go down

"The rain is coming, so too a Brazilian rain master." shiiieeeet this made me hype idk why idk i guess i just love rain races and people who master them im sorry alain its just really cool that hes a pro at ts cant help it

yup its a wet race ayrtons obviously winning. guess im on a first name basis with him now. eh, hes sort of earned it

"I made a special effort to be close to Alain" i love taking sentences out of context hehehehhehe

im starting to think ayrton's kink is breaking alain mentally like that guy gets off that shit fr fr can confirm i am ayrton senna

"They all knew that Alain and I were fighting for the championship and I expected them to be nicer about letting us by, but no." my guy really said 'can you guys not im trying to beat the love of my life here'

bro just cry about anything, whether he loses or wins damn

"By turns swearing, weeping, choking, and babbling, their man has become insensible. As he rounds the final corner, Senna gasps in astonishment. There, filling the heavens, is the face of … Christ! The driver becomes hysterical. F***! F***! F***! Both arms flung out of his cockpit, Senna finally takes the flag." he is so dramatic and so me i will never come to terms with this

"‘I would like to thank McLaren and Honda…’ begins an emotional winner, before adding archly, ‘for the big improvement in my car over the last two races.’" HES STILL HOLDING A GRUDGE this asshat i swear stop that youre being too relatable stop it alain pls come back im scared

"There is just one unoccupied seat – directly behind Prost. Senna sits down and proceeds to nibble on the smoked salmon. ‘Hey, you were so far behind me, I felt sorry for you …’ From the adjacent table, Alain Prost has swung around and now rests his hand on his team-mate’s shoulder, ‘… so I let you catch up!’ Much laughter. Senna smiles: ‘That’s very kind of you, because I was just about ready to give up!’ The two gladiators laugh. It is a rare moment of accord, one that will never again be repeated." i... no word for this moment tf? its giving george and max having to sit next to each other at the driver's dinner but george moves his chair far away, but neither of the two here did that obviously, they just sat next to each other. no seriously, the fact that ayrton's seat is directly behind alains? nah fate design ts fr. and they laughing at each other? they're actually sharing a smile and laughing? see me in the air rn boy. see me in the air rn. unbelieveble. and fym it'll never be repeated?? hecks nah man this shit give me the tingles it HAS to repeat. but then again its one of the most intense rivalries to date lets be fr

the number of times i had to give myself a reality check is insane

"No retreat, no surrender." the book of life reference (not i just had to say it)

its not enough for them to win physically noooo they just HAVE to win mentally too

"‘I wanted to win this one to prove a point,’ grins Alain as he and Senna embrace on the podium." THEY EMBRACED I REPEAT THEY EMBRACED I CAN NOW RETIRE IN THE ARMS OF MY BED IN PEACE

"... A watershed moment." what does this mean. is it going to be a wet race? david what does this mean?! help!

"Five years into the future, on a grim May afternoon in 1994, the circuit will bear witness to the sport’s darkest weekend." there was no need to drop this bombshell man come on i was just enjoying their rivalry

"He had been impulsive, they say. He needs to know when to back off, they say." he also needs to know when to stop being obsessed with his team mate like oml most of their spats is because he just has to beat him or he will dnf a nut come on man

"Indeed, on Friday afternoon the Amalfi coastline looks anything but a tourist haven as a band of black cloud appears, stubbornly refusing to return from whence it has come." ANOTHER WET RACE OH MY GOD i just love wet races man its the most entertaining kind of race ever

"It is Gerhard Berger though who snatches provisional pole in the dying moments of the session. Perhaps Ferrari are back in the game after all. Gerhard shrugs: ‘Too early to say. Let’s see.’" our humble king. live laugh love gerhard

"Ferrari have flattered to deceive. Last year McLaren scored a crushing one-two victory and there is every reason to believe that history will once more repeat itself." i was so engrossed in the prosenna battle that i forgot that there is also a wcc and was immensely whiplashed by this lmao

"We should not risk an accident tomorrow. Prost and I should make an agreement: not to cause an accident at the first corner. After the first corner though … The pact of San Marino is thus conceived. 'What do you think? Is it a good idea?’ Prost pulls on his overalls. He has to admit, his team-mate’s proposal makes sense, quite a lot of sense. ‘D’accord. We do not overtake until after the first corner.’ The two men shake hands. Whoever makes the better start come 2pm will have immunity – until the second corner that is." they... actually agreed??? on something?? crazy absolutely crazy i cant believe this is real

"Sunday starts with a bang – a literal one as Berger’s Ferrari catapults into the concrete wall at Tamburello at an estimated 170mph, bursts into flames and then proceeds to ricochet along the wall for a further 100 metres. Race stopped." im telling you guys that corner is evil. tamburello is cursed yall

senna went back on his word oh my god i am on the floor while my heart rate is in the air these two are trying to kill me istg

"The little man feels betrayed." i dont know what moves me to say aww about this, but aww. little alain throwing a tantrum. *deep breath* AYRTON I TOLD YOU TO STOP POSSESSING ME DAMMIT IM GOING TO CRASH OUT STOP IT

and embarassed senna makes a return. i swear hes doing it on purpose so that alain wold yell at him again. i know what you are. we kin after all. no i have not come to terms with it yet

"Ron Dennis can only look on impotently. The McLaren chief senses the stench of civil war in the air. Going on 18 months he has gone out of his way to keep both men happy – a trick that has required the diplomacy of Henry Kissinger, the patience of Mother Teresa and the psychological knowhow of Sigmund Freud." pov ron: pls God im not your strongest soldier pls knock some sense into these idiots pls

"I’m thinking of quitting for good,’ announces Prost." so pissy he’s about to quit. you absolute diva this is not the time to say periodt.  

"Though ostensibly a test, today’s meeting is a rather elaborate marriage guidance session between his two superstar drivers, with Ron cast as marriage guidance counsellor." TS HAD ME SCREECHING AHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAA DAVID!!! DAVID KNOWS WHATS UP HE KNOWS THESE SNEAKY AHH BTCHES ARE BASICALLY AN OLD BICKERING MARRIED COUPLE WE LOVE TO SEE IT

Im scared for ron LMAOOOOOO i hope his marriage counselling works

IT WORKED HAHAHAHHA YOU SNEAKY HO HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA GOOD OLD DENNIS TFFFFF his plan was to make them angry at him instead of each other and it. FUCKIN. WORKED. HAHHAHAHAHHAH OH MY GOODDDDD

Im commentating on their fighting like im watching a reality tv show what the hell lmaoooo. the divorce has begun.

DAWGGG THE DIVORCE. THE DIVORCE IS HAPPENING AAAA IM WATCHING IT ABOUT TO BEGIN AND IT HURTS NOT EVEN ONE SENTENCE INTO THE STORY AND ITS HURTING ME AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"‘I am very careful to control what I say,’ Ayrton tells the veteran journalist, ‘because I see the danger of damaging other people.’" bfsfr rn boy bfssssssssssssfr rn you aint been controlling sHIT in yo past seasons lets be honest

this is the part where he starts referring to him as frances baixinho lmaoooo

nelson’s still here? Lmaoooo i forgot he still existed lolol

hi jamesss

bro was losing so hard he thinks his only way out is by literally having an out of body experience im creasinggg

"Racing – winning – is everything to Ayrton Senna, almost." almost was not enough apparently he lives and breathes and nuts on that shit

oh my gad. he left. hes in ze ferrari. waeouw. supearb. i am now saying my prayers. hows senna doing.

dawg i feel bad for alain like im the one being beaten by senna pls ferrari work well for my guy before you start ferrari-ing again pls pls

oh theyre still teammates lmaooooo i thought alain had already left

"Prost rolls his eyes…" ok divaaaaa

"Poor Alain, so sad to see a great champion looking for excuses. A shame." poor alain is right babes stand upp quit moping and get to workk

oh my god whenever theyd go wheel to wheel im on the edge of my seat its like im watching a replay even though im not im just reading 😭😭😭

BOOMSHAKALAKAAA YES GAWDDD. YESSSS. im sorry ayrton but a win is a win. a win is a win.

…oop. he broke the trophy. relax!! you can get a new one made ron calm down. eughh i can feel alain’s sheepishness through my laptop screen grr. i can almost see senna smirking about small satisfactions and small victories in small battles, and, honestly, understandable, he's had a shite day

not the fisa adding fuel to the fire 😭😭😭

oh my god the next chapter is suzuka 89 😭😭😭 stop the planet im getting off

"‘So, when he retires yet again from the next race at Estoril, some fear for Senna’s sanity. ‘Who put the f***ing right-rear wheel on? Who?’" about damn time he starts getting pissy honestly

"Prost does not even figure in his calculations, not anymore." holy shit this is rare as fuck somebody write it down and take a picture

"‘Both men, believe you me, are driving on the very edge of their personal abilities,’ remarks James Hunt in the BBC commentary booth.’" AHHHH james you dont even know the HALF of it. asdfagaj ts got me scaling my wallss tffff

im scared i cant read im scared its the same with the french grand prix so im pretending it happens for this first time this year instead of 30 plus years ago somebody help

"‘Senna could lull Prost into a false sense of security,’ muses James Hunt, as prescient as ever. ‘He could then catch him unawares,’ adds the Brit.’" PERIODT!!! PE. RI. ODTTT!! OH MY GOD.

im scared for the next line oh my god senna is going to try something i just know it i swear if this is the part where they crash i will ascend good motherfuckin bye

"Had not Alain promised not to open the door this weekend?" dont count on it girl he motherfuckin hates you now dont count on it. theyre going to crash arent they? Shit.

and they crashed. i knew it. i. motherfuckin knew it. i *clap* knew *clap* it. I KNEW IT. SABIA. LO SABIA. i cant with these motherfuckers i swear

oh hes playing dirty rrr i love to see it. DONT EVER CALL YOURSELF BORING AGAIN ALAIN YOURE A SNEAKY LITTLE SHIT AND YOU KNOW IT

IT WAS GOING SO WELL TFFFFFF

AAAAAAAAAAA I CANT READ THE REST IM TOO HYPE RN IM GOING TO TAKE A SHOWER TO COOL OFF AND THEN COME BACK ISTG

(im back btches) HE DIDNT WIN HE WAS DISQUALIFIED RR. hooo okay we can calm down. neither won so im kinda disappointed but at least my heart can relax we can calm down ayrton is pissy ngl i would be too just kin things but i dont care we can calm down. God the hos werent lying this WAS their most heated moment. hooo gave me goose bumps fr so much i had to take a shower before continuing

"Senna v Balestre: the immovable object v the irresistible force." not ayrton always beefing with the french ho relax

"‘What the f***! This is ridiculous!’ Senna is on his feet, Dennis too. ‘Mr Senna, sit down! Sit down!’ He will not and does not. The driver is incensed. ‘You screwed me at Monaco and now you’re screwing me again!’ Accusations fly on both sides. With emotions running high, the hearing threatens to descend into chaos. Dennis and his legal team are taken aback: ‘Like preparing a case of shoplifting, and then being hit with charges of rape and manslaughter!’ says a shocked CEO of McLaren International. Judgement deferred.’" SHIT they fighting in the fia courts too 😭😭😭 the only thing im worried about though is the backlash alain is going to get for this im so scared for my queen somebody please protect him

"Given the vibes that had not been entirely unexpected." me when im reading tpatg

"‘They are treating me like a criminal,’ Senna tells the press, eyes moistening, the voice trembling." stop the whiplash that im getting this is where the media starts portraying alain as the villain isnt it? aw hecks nah man i cant do ts anymore. on the flip side, STOP DOING THINGS I WOULD DO DAMMIT SENNA PLEASE WE’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO RELATE TO EACH OTHER FUCK

"Nigel Mansell wades in too when he describes a ‘certain individual’ who has ‘got away with so much in the past and now it has come to a head’." nigel comin through my man thats my homeboy right there

"‘The sonofabitch blocked me!’ hisses the Brazilian. ‘He did it on purpose!’" i get insane whiplash whenever hed swear man

"Berger (and of course) Prost are adamant the race should not start and say just that." oh so now his bestie up against him too everybody just a senna opp atp

"While all around him heads are lost, Senna remains in his car with all the serenity of one who has found peace within. Now to put the plan into action." nahhh now im trippin immensely. he thinks of alain as such a sore loser when he is one himself. this is the craziest divorce i have ever witnessed to DATE

"Jenks also notes that F1 drivers are supposed to be amongst the elite, the best of the best. They are also paid more than enough money to prove as much. If that means racing in ‘diabolical’ conditions, then so be it." tell it to the past dead drivers’ graves bro, tell it to senna in 94. bfsfr rn man.

"1989 – F1’s annus horribilis – ends with Alain Prost as its world champion. Senna has to settle for the runner-up spot." i hate the shit we had to go through to get here, but a win is a win. a win is a win.

"Instead, he is consumed with Suzuka. It is all he talks about, night and day." and the ho is back to pondering. pop off ig senna.

"On the one hand the prospect of family life and marriage, on the other unfinished business in the world of Formula 1. He spends many days and nights in deep contemplation." contemplation of what, racing is practically in the man’s blood, sweat and jizz, i know the outcome of this contemplation

"And to think Nelson Piquet reckoned he was gay!" well he aint that far off ngl. that's probably the only real thing he ever said in his entire career.

"1990 is on. Prost v Senna III." aw shit. here we go again

"With a revitalised Frenchman declaring he feels like a ‘new man’, 1990 promises to be a vintage year." im sCARED. DONT JINX IT.

awww gerhard bless you such a sweetie compared to your monster of a teammate and his stubborn headed rival. YEAH THATS RIGHT IF THIS WAS A KINDERGARTEN I’D PUT BOTH OF YOU IN TIME OUT CUS THE BOTH OF YALL JUST DONT KNOW WHEN TO QUIT GODDAMN. im now mad at the both of them

"The FIA president laps it all up: ‘I would have come here on a stretcher just to annoy that lot,’ chuckles El Presidente, blowing kisses to a huge crowd of jeering Paulistans." no wait because who is this cheeky diva. he's problematic clearly but this was funny ngl. mohammed ben suckmydick could never

"The perception that Prost wins by default has haunted the Frenchman throughout his glorious career." nah cus same here pls this shit scares me ong

"Although well used to the attention, it is always a shock for this highly religious man to comprehend the effect he has on so many people. Often accompanying the letters are the types of photos that would make his mother blush. The messages, too, are to the point: My husband is away tomorrow afternoon; please I must spend just one afternoon with you … The half-smile. He selects another letter. This time the accompanying picture comes straight out of the pages of Playboy: I have loved you and only you forever. I want you …" nah cus the insane whiplash i got from reading this threw me off. there was NO need to put this in the book david. NO need.

pls let gerhard have a win pls i am taking a break from prosenna as i read this book because they are not doing wonders for my cardiovascular health pls bergie's a sweetheart let him cook

"All that hard work starts to pay off. Prost takes consecutive wins at Mexico City, France and Britain. Ferrari are on the move. Suddenly Senna’s world championship is under threat. As of Britain, Alain has 41 pts to Ayrton’s 39." shiet. i know i said id take a break but. shiet. dont tempt me. dont tempt me now ho dont tempt me.

"‘Will you guys ever bury the hatchet?’ The question comes from nowhere. A hush descends upon the Monza pressroom. A frozen stare from Senna, a frown from Prost. The question hangs in the air. Like a couple of sweethearts on their first date, the two men glance coyly at one another. Prost offers a nervous hand. Will Senna take it? Yes! Much to the delight of the media, the two men finally shake hands. The feud is over, for now. ‘We are both professionals who share the same passion,’ says Prost. ‘It is a start. And yes, I was moved by it,’ says Senna. So, friends again – at least for now …" NO BECAUSE I WAS FOUND ON THE FLOOR WHEN I READ THIS. I DIDNT EVEN READ IT PROPERLY, SKIPPED A FEW LINES AND ZEROED IN ON ‘SWEETHEARTS’. DAVID WHAT IS THIS WORDING. MONZA PRESS PEOPLE WHAT IS THIS QUESTION? DID YOU GUYS JUST MANAGED TO PULL OFF A LEGENDARY MYTHICAL TRUCE? I SAID DONT TEMPT ME HO I SAID DONT TEMPT ME NOW. GIRL I CANNOT. I AM READING THAT ‘LIKE A COUPLE OF SWEETHEARTS’ LINE OVER AND OVER AGAIN. SEND ME INTO CARDIAC ARREST WHY DONT YOU IT WOULD BE MUCH EASIER TO DEAL WITH THAN WHATEVER THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YOU TWO HELLO????

hello james. hows it feel like to comment on this hellhole of a season.

"‘He [Senna] is a great driver,’ gushes Nigel. Ayrton repays the compliment. Prost’s reaction is best described in the words of Autocourse who note that the reigning champion, ‘looked as though he wanted to throw up over the pair of them’." its giving ayrton being immensely allergic to proquet in the 80s lmaooo. I know for a fact alain be complainin to elio’s grave rn.

"‘He [Prost] is very good at getting people on his side,’ adds a driver under no illusion as to his position in the Ferrari hierarchy. More tensions. Prost, for his part, suggests Nigel play less golf and spend more time in the garage." he’s just hella good at this psychological bullshit now, isnt he?

not suzuka again im boutta spin off the floor my god

"He thinks long and hard about many things: Balestre, the FIA, Formula 1, Prost, tomorrow’s race." uh yeah um uh question, how hard exactly? no i refuse to elaborate on hard thank you

"After several hours obsessing in the dark of his hotel room, he comes to a momentous decision: you work hard and try to do your best and they screw you. If Prost takes the lead at the green light tomorrow, I will take him out. Besides, he still owes the French driver for ’89." ah so EXTREMELY hard is the answer, got it. still refuse to elaborate

"Before he can continue, Senna is out of his seat. He cannot believe what he is hearing! Isn’t that precisely what he had done at last year’s race? Precisely why he had been disqualified! Precisely why he and Ron Dennis had been back and forth to Paris over the winter months arguing their case! Silence. All eyes on Senna." i know for a fact the rest of the drivers on the grid are eating the drama up

"If Prost takes the lead, I’m going to take him out." this race is going to shit isnt it. man these two cant just— gerhard? gerhard where are you? gerhard come pick me up im scared

"Prost opened the door ajar and Senna went for it. Déjà vu. Alain should have known better, and so should Ayrton. They’ve only got themselves to blame." FACTS tf these two just gotta gravitate towards each other every time they’re on track i cannot, not anymore im done gerhard come back here

"He is greeted by ESPN reporter John Bisignano, the man who routinely refers to a certain driver on the grid as ‘Elaine Proust’." this is funny though ngl this is how im going to refer to the guy from now on. on a more serious note has senna used this against alain and if he has how many times has senna used this against alain

"Nelson Piquet eventually wins a race described by Autosport as ‘one of the most tedious GPs on record’." once again i forget hes still here lmao im too engrossed in the prosenna rivalry lol

"When told of his former team-mate’s threat to retire, the Brazilian, usually a model of restraint, launches into an astonishing attack on his rival." this ho refuses to let him go dawg LET HIM GO. LET HIM GO— its his fucking life if alain wants to retire he will retire you can exist without him on the grid– okay, thats a lie, this is ayrton motherfucking senna we’re talking about here his entire life revolves around alain who are we kidding here why am i even fucking surprised tf

"Although nobody could have known it at the time, 1990 would prove to be the very peak of Ayrton and Alain’s bitter rivalry." please tell me this is a sign that it will start to mellow out

"Decisions, decisions. Such is the nature of Formula 1’s shifting sands, it only takes one bad call to jeopardise an entire career. Just ask Fernando Alonso." there was no need to dunk on the guy 😭😭😭

"‘Perhaps it won’t work, but we both want to try,’ announces a sober Brazilian, sounding like one half of a married couple." lmao i think we all know who the other half is. prosenna never beating the married allegations fr fr

not the ferrari ferrari-ing for prost. this must be what team lh must be feelin this year and what leclerc fans have been feeling practically all their lives

"Ayrton Senna has his third world championship in four years. Elation. Relief. Who could have guessed it would be his last?" not the foreshadowing again

"If you get f***** every single time you are trying to do your job cleanly and properly by other people taking advantage of it, what should you do? Stand behind and say ‘Thank you, yes thank you?’ No, you should fight for what you think is right and I really felt Iwas fighting for something that was correct because I was f***** in the winter and I was f***** when I got pole. I tell you if pole had been on the good side last year, nothing would have happened." aw hecks nah he’s popping off again i know for a fact ron regrets not media training him.

thank god he got sacked ferrari was going to shit anyway

"Prost catches the drift. A wholly French Formula 1 team. Hmm … where has he heard that one before?" lmao not the renault french civil war flashback 

bro got fired because he was sassy af i love to see it like okay charli xcx play 365 

there was a female f1 driver? dang, imagine the possibilities and opportunities this coudlve unfold… too bad she failed to qualify man :( i now have a new reason to be smad

"He is not the only one left cold at the news: ‘Just who does Prost think he is that he can walk into the best team of the day?’ asks an angry writer in Autosport’s letters page." ok ho, is you a driver? uh huh i thought the FUCK not btch okay square up

"Boom! A Budapest bomb erupts. Mansell quits!" a budapest bomb is right, cus what? wtf hes actually retiring. what do i do with this information?

"Mansell and third-placed Berger stare impotently ahead." they really said ‘we do not exist in here we will pretend we are somewhere else and ignore this raging idiot next to us we do not claim him and his energy’ lmaooo

"For once, the mighty one is wrong." well thank God

they just not never think about each other now, do they?

the girls are fighting once more and now the limits of my cardiovascular health are being tested. somebody pray for me. how they even managed to become friends towards the end of the year will forever be a mystery to me

hes like ‘idgaf man, sennas all the way in the back, this lead is just a bonus for me lol’

"Hasn’t he always believed in driving just as fast as it takes to win and no faster?" thats because his teammate was ayrton dawg, with senna there was a need to be fast, with damon, bless the guy, alain can relax. huge diff

"‘Boring’ says old sparring partner Niki Lauda, adding that ‘viewers can’t even keep awake long enough to switch off the television’." translation: prost domination be boring fans. welcome back king. also hey niki how you doin

"Post-race Alain’s anger is evident for all to see: ‘Just take a look at the video,’ growls the winner. A seventh win of the year at Hockenheim all but seals Alain’s fourth world championship." but he wins regardless ok let the boy rage

"While such tactics hardly endear him to the fans, it’s mission accomplished for one of France’s greatest sporting icons." WRONG it endears him to ME LETS GO ALAIN LETS GO

"They are going out in the same way they started, at the front, way ahead of their rivals." this gets me emotional oh my god for all of my slandering and hollering and hyping and cheering i will forever miss and cherish this rivalry dawg. prosenna you are very dear to me <3

"Lauda, Rosberg, Mansell, Piquet, Berger and more recently Michael Schumacher – great drivers and formidable foes each and every one, but Ayrton Senna has only ever had eyes for one driver, only truly feared just one man: Alain Prost." no because im actually going to tear up, this is so heartwarming to me tf 😭

"On the Adelaide victory podium all is forgotten. Senna hauls his rival on to the top step. His eyes are glassy. It all ends here. In an odd way he feels an emptiness, as if he is losing a part of himself today. All the rancour, the bitterness is swept aside; just Ayrton and Alain. Nobody else has ever mattered, not really. Embracing, it is as if both men sense that their eternal struggle has paradoxically brought them closer together, closer to an understanding of themselves. Neither man will ever step on to the Formula 1 podium again. It will be a last embrace. End of an era." and you’ve done it. im crying now. oh prosenna my prosenna you will be very dear to me. if i ever have a girl child im naming her prosenna i do not care i love them very much for all of their ugly fights and clashes and rivalry and murder attempts at each other you cannot deny that it was what truly made them special as well as entertaining nobody will ever do it like them ever again bro NObody fr

"All the rancour, the bitterness is swept aside; just Ayrton and Alain. Nobody else has ever mattered, not really." NO BECAUSE LET ME ZERO IN ON THIS THOUGH THIS LINE WILL FOREVER HAVE A PLACE IN MY HEART IM PUTTING THIS ON A TSHIRT

AHHHH THE PICTURE MONTAGE HAS ME ROLLING MY SHAYLAS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

awwwww niki and alain :((((

"A typically nonchalant Prost during Brands Hatch testing 1986. © Peter Denton" og nonchalant queen

"Smiles were a rare commodity at McLaren during the Senna–Prost years. Here at the 1988 San Marino Grand Prix, the veneer was holding – just. © Getty Images" NO BECAUSE WHAT WAS THE CONTEXT BEHIND THIS PICTURE THO???? when i see alain in real life, because i will and he will live to 200 trust me, i will ask him about the picture.

"End of an Era: The 1993 Australian Grand Prix would prove to be the last time either driver ever set foot on an F1 podium." AAAAAAA MY SHAYLASSS AAA MY SHAYLAS I WILL FOREVER LOVE THEM 

aaaaaaand i finished the book. all i have to say is, what a read, and, these two have been both the greatest comfort to me as well as the biggest pain in my ass. God bless the Prosenna rivalry, God bless David Sedgwick, God bless Alain Marie Pascal Prost, and may Ayrton Beco Senna rest in peace.

a more accurate description of my thoughts after reading the book would be ahsdyuaasocqagwuydgsygcygasuygayusdvyu qywe c8g w8fe wdycugsuydc uasg yua  aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

***

and scene. thank you for your time.

[coconox]

honestly been going back and forth w myself on a lot of things lately attaching a read more for the sake of ik i'll be rambling like theres no tmr

a part of me wants to drop pnc but i havent really gotten everyone i wanted yet + im broke so i need to build my stash up *looks at clotho and eos* oddly enough pnc has been a game ive been pretty happy on playing still hate how i missed a login day tho tbf ive rarely borderline never interacted w the fandom so me just being in the dark w what goes on there has kinda been a blessing and a curse in a sense that i can enjoy the game in peace but it feels like im alone doing so

pgr im really REALLY tempted on dropping my glb acc, once nocti comes around which will prob be around the end of the school yr for me thats where i'd be like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ welp ig im done and drop that acc after playing around w nocti and whatev. tw im still not too sure abt?? prob when i get around to lvling up my main teams i can be like ok im done and drop that at any time since im just there to experience content ahead of time without being in cn directly

before dropping pgr entirely i do wanna complete a few stuff i had in mind tho

countdown for hyperreal which will prob happen bambi patch

still need to finish that nocti countdown for tw ive barely had any motivation completing that

nocti's bday countdown (similar to how lee's went)

glb nocti's countdown

draw every char up to latest one in cn

a few noctiskk comics thats been in the back of my head for MONTHS now

basically LOTS of countdowns and nocti stuff before i drop everything entirely

will i still draw pgr stuff after all that? mayyybeee???? itll moreso be towards kye's lore building rather than it being a standalone thing. i'll still collect merch and build up my shrines and make cosplay for chars but aside from that i'm pretty much gonna be moving on to other things

ive always had 50/50 feelings w being in the pgr fandom, tho being introduced to it on disc and then going to twt may have affected my views on this whole thing. esp when the side of the fandom i was first introduced to is like the lowest of the low, i dont want to go back to a place where a bunch of dudebro incels made fun of me for being afab and liking lee and me thinking that was a norm when it clearly isnt. its been 2 goddamn yrs and theyre still poking fun at that?? like my god grow up im so sick and tired of it.

if by a slim chance i still want to participate in being in the pgr fandom i'll just go back to lurking like ive always done in prev fandoms, if i really wanna be active in talking abt the game i'll talk abt it in servers or dms, but publicly i felt that i could never really comfortably talk abt how i feel abt it aside from here cause this site >>>>>> bc i felt like my opinions arent valid, tho that really applies to anything i do so 💀💀

pgr has been a really nice game for me to destress and detach myself from reality for a bit, tho now i wanna move on to other games and focus more on my ocs like i did back in the day. once i properly set up everyone's lore doc maybe in the future i'll make a game around them, nothing too big since i'll pretty much be making most of it, but i kinda wanna fulfill my childhood dream that was just recently unlocked

theres also that small part of me that wants to be known for my oc stuff rather than pgr stuff, but bc im not tagging w popular art tags im kinda just existing, and thats fine by me. hitting 500+ follows on twt was like peak realization of me going like "oh shit, 😨 maybe this big of a following aint for me" and it truly isnt lol

[starsambrosia]

So i stop flooding peoples dash im gonna just make this a group, the tag is #livechatter

Im rambling about my life because i feel like it

mean in all reality they have saved me from a lot of bad people and bad things i just i dunno if i can belive that every single person i meet is some kind of malicous creature or person with bad intentions...its been years and im outgoing i like people but ive had to cut off most people because the gods told me some shit about them that was scary or my divination read something was up

I just dont know but i dont want to risk it...

But like, how many demons can one person come across and how many just so happen to be bad news for me

3 confirmed and funny thing is one of them actually scarred me both physically and astrally /wild/ one was my childhood friend who had a crush on me and also decided to get into a pact with a demon for ...funzies... but i cant recall if she had the bloodline or not because the last one who was actually super chill was following a family tradition

so yeah when the gods say "hey psst beckys a demon" im gonna be like "well golly gee 3 out of 3 demons the gods told me about were demons i wonder if this person is in a pact with a demon

and typically /usually/ me and demons dont get along, they find my energy tasty ig. Like demons are fine they are but like they just want to eat me usually or theyr mad at me on sight :")

But in any case im gonna belive it, its just...really?? I know im a beacon but seriously? Every person i meet is some mischievous or negative entity. I get out here fae are more common but /everyone?/ really? I dunno man i cant just be running into every non human on the planet both online and irl or if theyr normal theyr just the most shit person you can be to an almost cartoonish extent.

/idk man/

But i stare at my pendulum the one i warded clensed banished shit on and used rituals to invoke a gods name and boom its just "yup this ones no good"

Like...OK??? THEN WHO IS??? And theyll set me up with people and it never goes well like it always falls through because the people i click with just arent good enough??? Or they just all want me dead?

Am i the problem? Like its me or its them and theyr gods like idk idk man im lost im so lost, how can nobody be ok how can so many people just want to hurt me on sight am i seriously that pathetic looking?? Or are they playing some kind of protective roll? Thats kind assuming a lot about them

What are the fucking odds theyd just be over protective

Im kinda whirlling right now because i think i figured it out, Apollo always expressed guilt over the whole imprisonment thing even though that was literally my fault for directly disobeying his very clear instructions for some guy, yeah thats an embaressment ill never live down

Im wondering if Apollo felt bad and now hes just being really harsh on anyone who comes near me, i only wonder this because he had been around for a really long time before he helped me escape my home/cult

But like ive asked others too

In the same pantheon

That was responsible for a lot of fucking trauma

Who like most of them have a reason to be harsh on people

I just wonder what would happen if i asked maybe Zeus instead of literally anyone else besides maybe some of the goddesses.

Oh godsssss i think ive just deadass been asking the wrong people because everyone else is bias and angry at people

Jesus christ i knew it was my fault if i had just thought about it for a second and got my head out of the ground i wouldve seen it

But still i could be wrong so i need to go ask Zeus with my pendulum and see whats going on before i go removing anything...im also wondering what other people have to say about this because im honestly so tired of shutting up about my weird ass life

Pendulum with Zeus:

Is the reason i keep getting a no on my friends because everyone else is bias and angry at people

Yes

Will you give me non bias direct answers if i contact you?

Yes

I get so specific with my questions because if it can only say yes no or maybe i want to narrow it down as much as possible, questions are phrased intuitively or auto written but some times intentional, more gently guided though.

So i figured it out by live journaling basically...nice, ok so this is weird...but when is it ever not hhh

Thats sweet honestly, if it weren't so suffocating...i cant belive this this has taken me literally 3 and a half years to figure out and i just had to talk to Lord Zeus??? Hhhhhhh oh my gods

Going to him more often now honestly

I wouldve never guessed that i think i think too lowly of myself if it took 3 and a half years to realize they care enough to be mad at people who caused me like, irreparable damadge hahaaaa

[penguin--person]

9 and 10 of the fandom violence ask

I better be hearing some good rain world salt

9. worst part of canon mm.. im gonna be honest boss. i like all of rain world. maybe the lack of some context, but on another hand, i Love that that so many things are up to interpretation!! like, what even IS the cycle!! i dont know!! btu ive got my theories and i lvoe theories:) like its all told through the pov of a SLUG so like its expected that the slug wont learn that much!! n i lvoe that.. i love sulluges... n i cant even say that the worst part is the horror of it all because i LOVE the horror of it all... i love it all dude sorry i love it all. rain world (n buddy sim) is a perfect game to me. n like, sure, theres propably some bad parts i could think of if i tried hard enough, but none are bad enough that id call them 'worst'.. tho im ceirtan it does have bad ascepts lore wise. i cant think of any rn. i love htem all. everything i think about that could be bad i realize i actually love

10.worst part of fanon id say the blorbofication n all that:( like. like. man. ok. evil ramble time. the first time i met pebbles, i remember thinking 'oh, what a nice guy' - not in the way that 'this guy donates to charity', but 'this guy is in so much pain and clearly dislikes me but still takes the time out of his life to tell me a bit of lore and tell me how to escape the cycle and doesnt even kill me unless i linger too long! and, in a world in which death doesnt even matter all that much, thats fine!:)' . n when i went into his tag here on tuber all i saw was!! everyone being so mean to him!!!! calling him evil n shit... no!!! hes complex!!!! ehs got feelings!!! like, just because he says 'i feel no guilt over killing moon'doesnt mean thats real!!! thats basic denial!!! thats basic coping skills, denial!!! n hes like. hes COMPLEX hes not just GOOD hes not just BAD hes COMPLEX ..!!! n all i saw was 'ohh angsty teen boy' n like Yeah he Is that but also hes More than that!!! hes not just!!! :(( i dont know . ive seen this happen less, somehow, ever since downpour came out, but. that might be bc im not interacting with the fandom much and only with the iterator rp lads. n theyre all SWAG!! but. god. god. watering down characters - not only iterators, slugs too (pointing at artificer. pointing at artificer. pointing at artificer.another personal,less annoyed thing is. everyone agreeing that artificer is a mother that lost her pups. which, of course, is a very likely scenario!!! but i wish more people explored like, artificer n sibling pups scenario, or like, artificer dad, or smth!! i Adore the angry mother believe me i adore it i really do im not hating on it i love it i adore it please believe me. but. mayhaps if we explored a bit more outside the comfort zone..) to bare concepts and shredding them of all their complexities . hate that!!! their whole appeal si their horrors:(( also when people like, put them into 'bad' n 'good' boxes . or smth. i dunno im eepy 👍

[bubsub69]

Entry 2

14/05/2023 22:47

Well might as well start all entries with how my sleep schedule is, i had an afternoon nap so i might not sleep enough tonight but better than being up at 4am because i tried going to sleep at like 11pm and it went horribly wrong.

Reason for writing today? well while before looking at cute couple stuff like hugging and cuddling would make me cry now a porn video that wasnt even my first time watching made me cry because the couple seemed really happy and having a good time even though the girl was probably laughing cause she ruined the dudes orgasm on his face (video: https://www.redgifs.com/watch/quaintelderlyvireo#rel=tag%3Aruined-orgasm%2Cchastity%2Ca;order=trending)

I guess i should start with yesterday, with the blessing of the folders/briefcases whatever, it was as bad as expected so at least not worse than expectations, a very late start as a lot of people expected followed by a walk a queue to sit down, a small sermon and then speeches from each course. The worst part honestly might have just been the sun, it was blazing hot and i think i got sick from it, my nose was extremely fucked last night and still kinda is. After that we went to have lunch at a crisp 3pm and the food arrived at like 4, thank god my body has a high hunger resistance or i mightve killed someone, i spent a lot of time at the restaurant but at least i got to be with my cousin so it was actually pleasant, at the end we went to the lake garden to take some pictures for some reason and then went home (the for some reason comes from the fact we already had like 40 photos on the camera alone and went to take more).

idk why i wanted to write down what happened yesterday this was supposed to be more about emotions than story but oh well who can stop an autist from rambling.

But going to aforementioned (wow that was the word whos spelling i really had to look up, why am i spellchecking a personal diary? cause fuck you i want to, anyway another autistic rambling aside) emotions, those ribbons made me feel kinda weird when i reread them cause everyone was saying congrats on the hard work and for beating this challenge but i feel like its undeserved cause its not like i put a huge amount of effort studying, i barely passed some stuff which is definetly something im not proud of but yeah i feel like i slacked off most of the year even though ive never missed classes or failed to deliver a project, i guess im just associated with the studying part of school instead of this which is better honestly, even if i get stressed like now where i have a shit ton of stuff to do and am over procastinating as usual, but yeah, a lot of good jobs for a meh performance feels kinda weird.

But enough about school heres an update on D, today is sunday which matches the same day as the day of the call so how was her availability? well she gave me a maybe and then said that apparently her visa is expiring and shes super stressed out, well that seems like something way too complex for an excuse/lie so i believe her more but yeah her moving again is definetely going to make her busy again so i guess no calls for me.

Really feeling like a piece of shit that thats all the care i can muster for it, shes like about to get formally deported and im out here complaining shes too busy for me, and the worst is i decided to get a keyholder on chaster just to satisfy me, it feels like cheating i dont know why, we had some mild texting and a call and ive already like fallen in love and feel like a traitor, but i guess im tired of waiting and it might be for the best to move on if she just wants to stay an acquaintance (well new record for biggest spelling blunder), but yeah i feel like im giving up too soon cause i really liked her and just moving on feels really bad but what can i do when she doesnt show any interest, i mean not only does she not text back she also hasnt asked anything about me, which i guess is kinda fair for most boring person in the world whos hobbies are gaming and youtube, yippy, i guess ill wait again, this time im gonna do a week of no texting to see if she ever sends me something, she will be busy with the moving so she probably wont but oh well whatcha gonna do, not like shed say yes to a call in these circumstances either, i still wish i could help her but i dont think i can just ask dad if he has a contact with the visa man to hurry her process, but i did imagine that cenario

I guess switching to a different type of emotion to put some variety in this yesterday i fucked up the gamepads usb port out of anger but i think i tricked my parents by saying i saved the computer from falling, and on other hardware problem news theres a screw that i think broke the plastic around it so know the case keeps disconnecting from the rest. This was a shitty story but at least its not all about being sad and lonely

Well a bit of a blunder of an ending but oh well heres entry two, if the lady i messaged to be my keyholder replies the update will be here:

[crazywolf828]

I know I complain about this every time I get to this point... But fuck I really gotta stop making fics have fight scenes. They are literally the worst thing and I hate writing them. Too many limbs. Too much movement.

[vynnyal]

Oh my god I'm gonna cry all over y'all if you leave even one more nice comment,,,, hELP,,,

[lilysdaydreams]

Praise Bingus (No fucking way)

→  I do not claim to know corpse- therefore please don't think that this is what he would actually act like, or that any details about his life are actually true. this is fiction.

→ Pairing: Corpse Husband X Fem!Reader

→ Genre: Angst and fluff. (FLUFF IS COMING I SWEAR)

→ Words: 3.9k

→ In a world where everyone is born with a mark on their wrist, two souls come together over the power of bingus.

→ (this isnt crack lol)

→ Warnings: Lots of swearing, um self-depreciation? rejection (kinda) and negative thoughts overall. Sorry im new to warnings.

→ Authors Note: this is the first time im doing like angst so please tell me if I did well? Um also, I’ve already started on the part 2 so keep your eyes out for that. If you wanna be tagged for part two please comment and lemme know. Also check out my other fics if you want!

→ Buy me a coffee

Part two  →    

~~~

Soulmates were a phenomenon. They'd been there for ages, drawn into the Egyptian tomb paintings, seen in the cave paintings from millions of years ago, talked about in stories passed down from generation to generation. They could be matching drawings, first words, names; all black before the soulmates met and turning gold the moment they talked to each other. There wasn't a scientist in the world who could explain the phenomenon.

You'd received your mark at birth just like everyone else, a sentence running around your wrist,

"No fucking way."

Your parents weren't that happy when you asked at the age of 4 what "fucking" meant but it wasn't that bad. You were happy that you had something unique, something other than the "Hi," or "Excuse me," that was on every other arm.

When you were 13, a little girl on the train pointed to your wrist and asked her mom what it meant. Ever since then, you'd taken to wearing bracelets over it. This had turned out to be a good idea because a few years later you started making Youtube videos. At the age of 16, you started a Youtube channel where you focused on a variety of things; makeup, fashion, games, art, skits and a whole lot more.

At the age of 20, you had a steady following of a little more than a million subscribers, and you had moved to LA to be closer to all your Youtube friends. You hadn't just grown on Youtube, you'd also started a lot of side projects. You were known for the art that you did on the side, along with the makeup palette you'd come out with a year ago. Soon you were planning to release a merch collection, one that you had been working on for a whole year now.

You hadn't met your soulmate at this point but honestly, you didn't really mind. Balancing Youtube and study (along with all your other side projects) was hard. There was no need to add the struggle of love into it... Or that's what you told yourself anyways.

There were days though, days where you wished you had someone to hug, someone to cuddle in bed with, someone to go on long walks with. You didn't let yourself wallow on it that long though. Crying about it was gonna do absolutely nothing.

It started on a rainy day. The story of you and him. You were editing your soon to be uploaded video, an e-girl outfits lookbook, which had been requested by your followers. Your personal style was all over the place and your previous soft girl and cottage care look books had done well, so you decided to continue the series.

You eyes blurred as you looked at the same point of the video, and you sighed, removing your glasses and rubbing your eyes. Your editor was sick and had let you know that they wouldn't be able to edit it by the deadline so here you were, editing it yourself. You stretched in your chair letting out a yawn. You were contemplating on whether to make coffee or not when your phone pinged.

"Nooooo" you whined when you noticed it was on the coffee table that was just a little out of your reach. Stretching your foot out, you tried to grab it between your toes and then sighed when the phone fell.

"I have zero luck, I swear" you muttered to yourself, bending to pick up the phone.

The text was from Rae, asking you to join a game of Among Us. You and Rae had been friends for a bit now, which all started when she came across your art and decided to order something from you. You had chatted and clicked immediately, immediately becoming fast friends. Ever since the lockdown started, she often asked you to join in on Among us games and your friendship had really grown over these past few months.

You sent a quick "sure!" and then went to your table, waiting for the PC to turn on. Quickly tweeting out that you were streaming, you opened up Youtube and turned on the stream, saying a quick hello and letting them know what you'd be doing.

"Rae just invited me guys, I don't really know who's there," you mumbled, replying to a comment asking you who you were playing with.

You squinted your eyes, joining the voice chat and then opening your phone camera to quickly check that you didn't look horrible. Sure you didn't really care about how you looked but it was always good to check that you didn't have anything stuck between your teeth before you turned on the camera.

There was already a conversation going on, between who you thought was Corpse and Sykkuno, judging by their voices.

"Yeah I could totally do that. Get a cat and name it Bingus. I wonder if th-"

You gasped when you heard what they were talking about and unmuted yourself immediately yelling "PRAISE LORD BINGUS" and effectively shocking everyone in the chat.

A moment of silence and then Rae yelled: "OH MY FUCKING GOD Y/N, YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME."

You giggled as everyone groaned and whined, saying hi as they realised who it was. You had played with Sykkuno and the others a few times before but you'd never met Corpse before. You'd heard his voice though, as he was trending on twitter constantly over the past few weeks. Once they all quietened down, you realised Corpse hadn't said anything. Since you knew everyone else in the lobby, you introduced yourself, wondering if you'd scared him a bit too hard.

"Hey Corpse, I'm Y/N from Y/C/N, its so nice to finally meet you," you said gritting your teeth at you awkward introduction. For a second there was no response and then three words were said that made your jaw drop to the floor.

"No fucking way"

He had whispered it, obviously still in shock, and your eyes widened in surprise as a tingle spread all over your body. So this was what everyone meant by "you'll just know," when you asked them about how you would recognize your soulmate.

"Holy shit" you thought frozen in your seat.

Never had you been more glad that you hadn't turned the camera on yet.

"Uhhhh-" you started, but stopped now knowing what to say.

What the fuck were you supposed to do now.

"Wha- Whats wrong?" Rae asked after a moment passed.

Corpse cleared his throat and started "Its um, shes my -" and you cut him off, heart beating in your chest.

"Nothing. Its nothing." you said talking over him. "Who else are we waiting for Rae?" you asked joining the lobby quickly and choosing red as your colour.

"Uh one more person," she said slowly, still a bit confused.

"Oh awesome!" you said fake enthusiasm prevalent in your voice. "So Sykkuno," you started, wanting to keep the conversation going. "How's Bimbus doing?"

Sykkuno launched into a story of Bimbus and you blew out a sigh of relief, mind still numb over the revelation.

Corpse was your soulmate.

The guy who had literally went viral the past few weeks was your soulmate.

You'd finally found him.

You heard Rae cut Sykkuno off, telling everyone she was starting the game and muttered a "Thank god" when the words "CREWMATE" appeared on your screen. You would not have been able to play imposter at the moment, your mind pretty much stuck on the fact that Corpse was your fucking soulmate.

Heading down to admin, you realised you hadn't said anything yet to the stream so you quickly turned on your cam, saying a quick sorry to the viewers.

"Sorry guys, I forgot to put the camera on," you smiled focusing on card swipe.

"I hope everyone's been okay, I know this was quite sudden, but Rae invited me and I was like why not you know," you said rambling as you moved to comms and did the task there.

Lights were called and you moved to electrical, arriving there just as Leslie fixed them. You moved into the back of electrical doing the three tasks you had there when Sykkuno suddenly came in and went straight to standing on top of the vent.

You giggled already knowing his trick.

"Okay guys," you mumbled watching Sykkuno wiggle on the vent. "do we trust Sykkuno or not?"

"You know what," you said making a split second decision. "Its the first game, we might as well."

Joining him on the vent, you stilled for a second and then breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't automatically kill you.

"See, what did I tell you guys huh?" you question smiling straight at the camera. "I knew Sykkuno could be trusted."

You decided to follow Sykkuno going into reactor with him and starting 'Simon says' and just as you were on the last part, a body was found making you let a whine out.

"Guysss," you whined to the camera as Rae started talking about how she had found Daves body in admin.

"Um, I havent been in admin since the start of the game," you said, "also I can clear Sykkuno, for the last part of the round, he's been with me since lights went out."

Sykkuno confirmed it, "Yup that's right, also I can hard clear Y/N cuz guess what? She stood on the vent with me and none of us died."

Everyone chuckled as he said "Thats good enough for me."

"Uh, I was in navigation mostly." said Lily.

"Poki, can I just ask what you were doing?" said Sean, an undercurrent of mirth present.

"Me?" asked Poki speaking for the first time. "What was I doing?"

"You weren't doing any tasks, you were literally just walking from one side of medbay to the other when I peeked in."

Poki started laughing, trying to get her words out at the same time.

"Okay so-" a giggle. "okay okay- I was just, I was trying to um do the beep test," she said finally breaking down and making everyone else laugh as well.

"What the fuck?" you said, laughing at the image in your mind.

"My chat told me to do it last game so I decided to do it now, I was literally just playing around," she said finally, adding "I swear I'm not imposter" at the end.

"Hmmm," you hummed, bringing a hand up to stroke your chin. "Are you sure it was last game Poki... hm...."

Giggling at Poki indignant "YES it was last game", you quickly skipped voting like everyone else as the timer went into the last ten seconds.

Humming a tune under your breath, you went back to reactor, taking a minute to carefully do Simon says and then moved to the other task counting out one two three as you pressed on the numbers. Humming, you moved out of reactor, only to come face to face with Corpse. You paused for a second, and then moved ahead, refusing to show anything on camera. For some reason he followed you as you went to storage, looking at you while you did the trash.

"Why is he just staring?" you mumbled, biting your lip. God, you really didn't wanna think of him right now. You started walking to shields, him still walking with you when lights were called and not a second later a body was reported.

Suddenly there was screaming your ears as Toast and Rae both started accusing each other.

"Wait- Wait WAIT" yelled Poki trying to get them to stop. "What happened?"

"I'll explain" declared Rae, not letting toast get a word in. "We were in navigation okay, me, Toast and Leslie. Lights went out, and suddenly a report buttons there. It's either Toast or someone came in just as lights went out and killed but that doesn't seem likely because I didn't see anyone anywhere near us at all. Anyways I'm fucking telling the truth guys, its Toast, he's the one who did it."

"Toast, do you have anything to say for yourself?" asked Corpse, his voice making your insides shiver.

"Holy shit, this is my soulmate", you thought for the fiftieth time.

"Uh yeah," replied toast. "I didn't do it."

Everyone laughed as he continued.

"Like seriously, I wouldn't do anything like this because it'd be a stupid move from my own part, and I think Raes smart enough to not do this as well. I think someone else came in just as lights went down and killed immediately, which to be honest, was pretty smart of them."

"Okay so I can clear Corpse," you cut in noticing the timer was close. "he was with me in weapons when it happened, he wouldn't have had time to go all the way up, or even vent there because we were literally walking in."

"Yup that's right," confirmed corpse.

"I'm in cafeteria" said Poki.

"Yeah, I saw her on my way to weapons," said Sykkuno, "and I'm in weapons right now,"

"I'm in lower engine" said Sean, and Lily said she was in reactor.

"I think it's Toast," you mumbled and then rose your voice to talk over everyone. "Look okay fine, maybe he said it was a stupid move and he wouldn't do it but maybe he did it for that exact reason. He thought he could get away with it because no one would expect him to do something like that."

As the timer started going down by 10, you voted for Toast and it turned out 3 had skipped the vote while five had voted for him.

damn.

"Guys you actually voted for him?" you said in a high voice, re-enacting one of Sykkunos most said lines.

You heard a "oh for gods sake" from Rae before everyone went silent and you giggled as you moved back down to weapons to do your tasks.

You finished all your tasks and decided to go to security to check where everyone is. Humming as you moved through the electrical hallway, you narrowed your eyes as Corpse came out of electrical and went towards storage. Quickly ducking in you didn't see a body so you headed back out, going into cams and gasping as you saw the body. Reporting immediately you were shocked to see the four kills that had happened. Now only you, Corpse, Sean and Rae were left.

"Oh my god," you mumbled confused. Either there were still two imposters, and Toast wasn't the imposter or the imposter literally killed and did nothing else. Now either that could mean that its definitely Rae if Toast wasn't the imposter, or that it was Corpse as the only imposter left. That was a bit weird though becuase he could have totally killed you at the start of the game. You didn't suspect Sean at all.

"What the fuck?" mumbled Corpse, and Rae made her animal noises expressing her shock.

"Okay," you said taking charge and relaying the kill and your theory to everyone. "So either it was Toast and there's only one other imposter, who is Corpse. Or Toast wasn't an imposter and there's two of them left. I-" you took a deep breath in at the end, very confused. " I don't know anymore,"

"I think its Corpse as well,"

Corpse who hadn't said anything up till this moment suddenly started stammering out "hey-hey uh let-lets not gang up on me okay. It's not-"

"No, wait, its because Y/N said you came out of electrical right, and I saw you in upper engine literally a bit ago and you went down. I went towards cafeteria so I don't know exactly where you went but its totally possible that you killed."

You voted form him after that, convinced it was Corpse, and the other followed quickly.

"Guys what the fuck, at least give me a chance to explain my self" he whined when his body was thrown off the ship seconds later. You cheered when the "VICTORY" sign was displayed across the screen, bringing up your chat and laughing at Toast as he pretended to be angry at me.

"That was a great round, good work Y/N"

"Thankyou" you mumbled staring at your chat. You were confused when you saw the absolute influx of messages on there, and you were barely able to read them because they were going so fast. You scrolled up, and read through the few of the messages;

"You've made corpse sad."

"Corpse has literally been so quite since you came in, can you leave."

"Omg stop with the hate messages, its not her fault if corpse isn't talking to you"

"are you his ex or something? What was that reaction at the start?"

"what did you do? Corpse literally hasn't said a word since you came in."

"Um..."

Corpse POV

Corpses heart stopped for a minute, his breath catching. The words on his wrist glowed gold, and he stared at the little red character standing there.

This person was the reason that he had "PRAISE BINGUS" stretched across his wrist.

They were the only reason that he had searched "Bingus" on google for all of his life. The only reason Corpse knew about the meme before anyone else was because he was constantly monitoring the word online. Ever since March, he had been waiting with bated breath, anxious that he could meet his soulmate at any moment. and here you were.

For some reason, he had never expected that he would meet you in among us, or while he was on stream. He always thought it'd be someone outside. It was a bit stupid in hindsight as all he did nowadays was play among us.

He heard you introduce yourself to him but the only thing that came out of his mouth was “No fucking way”.

Immediately after he wanted to slap himself.

“Idiot” he thought to himself. “At least try to make a good impression.”

When Rae asked what was wrong, heat sprung to his cheeks as he started revealing that they were soulmates, but Y/N cut him off, saying that it was nothing.

Corpse’s heart sank a little then.

'Maybe she’s just a private person,' he reasoned with himself.

'I shouldn’t have tried to say it on stream either. God, I’m a fucking idiot, if I said it, literally everyone would know and not only would I have hated the attention, she probabaly would have as well.'

Convincing himself that she was right, he reassured himself that it wasn’t because of him. She wasn’t revealing it because she probably didn't want all the attention.

For some reason though, his heart sank even more when Y/N didnt talk to him, instead talking to sykkuno about his dog. Like sure he could understand not wanting to reveal they were soulmates but shouldn’t she at least wanna talk to him? At this point he wouldn’t even mind if she talked about his voice like everyone else.

He groaned when the word "Imposter" came across his screen, his and Toasts character standing together. He was not in the right mindset right now to be able to be a good imposter. Breathing in deeply he continued in the game, with the first round passing by quick. The second round, he saw Y/N and stood with her for a bit wondering if he should kill her. Her red character moved to weapons and he sighed moving the mouse over the kill button. Just as he was thinking of clicking a body was found. Corpse swore as Toast flew off the ship. Deciding he needed to speed it up he killed four people in the round, hissing when the meeting was called. The moment Y/N accused him, he knew it was over. He didn't even bother defending himself much, just hoping the game would end soon.

When they were in the lobby, he quickly told everyone that he was going to leave because his internet was acting up. Turning off the stream after saying a quick thank you to everyone, he leaned back in his seat breathing through his nose.

What the fuck was his life.

Even his soulmate didnt want him. Honestly, he should have expected this. Abandoned at 12 with no one around him, why did his expect his soulmate to even give a fuck about him. Tears pricked his eyes and he blinked trying to get rid of them. He breathed in deeply, grabbing the water on the table and taking a big gulp. He had never hated himself more than he did right now. Why couldnt he have an easier life.

“Why cant I just fucking be NORMAL” he yelled throwing the empty bottle of water at the wall.

Throwing himself into bed, he scrunched up his eyes, hoping that sleep would come today, not noticing as his phone lit up with a single message.

Your POV

You stayed for another game and then ducked out apologizing and making an excuse up.

"Sorry it was such a short stream, everyone," you said pouting at the camera. "It was fun though so hopefully I get to do it again." Waving goodbye, you turned off the camera and leaned your head back staring at the ceiling.

What the actual fuck.

Grabbing your phone, you stared at it for a bit. Everything that you had pushed to the back of your mind in the game, was suddenly in the forefront.

The only thing you knew about Corpse was that he had a really deep voice, he narrated horror movies, and he maybe did music?

'Rae mentioned that once right?' you thought to yourself.

You unlocked the phone and then locked it again, too scared to actually do anything.

Unlocked.

Locked.

Unlocked.

Locked.

"Oh get a grip," you muttered to yourself, opening the phone and sending a text to Rae.

‘Hey Rae, do you have corpses number? Do you mind sending it to me, I need to tell him something.’

A reply came in a minute,

‘umm, why. he's pretty private so idk i don't rlly wanna give his number if he doesn't want someone to have it’

You sighed, and decided you might as well tell her. You knew Rae wouldn't betray your trust.

‘He's my soulmate’

Immediately a ‘AHDJHAKJKAGDAK’ came as a reply and you giggled at the string of emojis after it.

‘Don't tell anyone,’ you sent quickly, trying to calm her down.

‘Okay okay, its XXX - XXX - XXXX, ASHAGDH IM DYING OMG. GO TALK TO HIM.’

Biting your lip you added Corpse into your contacts hesitating before putting a small black heart next to his name.

"Already simping," you mumbled under your breath, hands hovering over the keyboard as you struggled to think of what to write.

You finally decided on 'Hey, its Y/N, can I call?' thinking that something short would be the best way to go. Hand hovering over the send button, you sucked in a breath and pressed it, waiting with bated breath.

A minute passed.

And then five.

And then, without you even you realising, it'd been half an hour of you just looking at your phone.

An hour later, you were slumped on your desk, eyes closed and snoring lightly, the phone still open, the message you sent lighting up the screen.

tbc.

[bldofthedrgn]

[fourteen] in every cosmos | han jisung smau

14 - irena

words : 581

prev | au masterlist | next

a/n : little written part here please remember to read that !!! jisung and y/n may be getting close but i never said i would make it easy did i ;) enjoy!

five days. that’s how long it had since you started this gut-wrenching routine of checking your phone every five minutes and jumping at every single notification you get hoping, praying, that it was changbin (it usually never was though).

thats it, you’d had enough. it was finally time for you to make the first move since it seemed changbin wouldn’t. 

hey binnie!! no wait that wasn’t right, too eager. 

whats up changbin? nope, too “im one of the bros”

hey bin :) perfect.

and sent, now all that was left to do was wai- *ping*

c - hey y/nnie wsp :)?

y - nothing much, can we talk though? 

c - yeah sure whats on your mind 

y - lets meet in person. the usual place at 2? 

c - oh alright sure see you then

you haven’t been this anxious to do something in such a long time. most of the time you’re usually confident and sure of the things you do, but this time you couldn’t tell if this was the right thing to do. for once you weren’t confident in your actions. 

“hey y/n!”

turning around to greet the man you were about to pour you heart out to felt like the worlds most monumental task and you were graciously given the opportunity to do it now. looking at him, realizing what you were about to do, made you feel small. breakable. you never, ever, feel breakable.

“y/n? you good there?” his words brought you back to reality.

“huh? oh sorry yeah im okay i just zoned out for a sec i didn't take my nap of the day yet”

“you’re good, let’s order and sit down though.”

you nodded your head in agreement though inside you wanted to prolong having to have this conversation as long as possible. god, minho. why did he give you this idea? he was trying to help but right now it felt anything other than helpful. 

“so whats up? you said you wanted to talk right?” his voice startled you. you had been sitting there thinking about the fifty million ways you could confess your feelings to changbin without sounding like a complete dunce. 

screw it.

“right. well i’ll cut to the chase. i have feelings for you changbin. i really like you and before you say anything or reject me like im sure youre gonna do let me just talk. i figured you didn't like me because you never actually asked me out and i thought that whole set up with jisung was you finally making a move, hence why i was so dressed up because i thought it was a date and that you were standing me up but it turned out not to be that way and thats honestly why i was mad i didn’t even care about jisung being there i just was really hoping it was a date with you but now i have you here and you know and im rambling so im gonna shut up now and … changbin? are you okay?” 

he looked pale and his eyes were unfocused. he wasn't even paying attention? had he heard a word you'd said? is he ignoring you? what on earth was he staring at? 

“changbin?” you shook his shoulder, watching him slowly come back to reality. 

“i … i have to go.” he breathes out, throwing his hand off your shoulder and rushing out of the cafe so fast he almost knocked over the frosting delivery guy.

what the fuck?

taglist | @gyuville @kikivonpoopyhead @sohyeappy @enaluvs @mits-vi @spikertrash @dynarvot @jeongyucore @fairyyeo @milkybonya @muffin-man-is-sad

bold means i cant tag!! sorry :(

[timeloop-liz]

The narrator finding out he can “pick up” Stanley and carry him around.

This freaks Stanley the fuck out. Now even his choice of walking is taken from him. He really is nothing but a puppet now.

It started with Stanley slipping off the lift and The Narrator went to “catch” him. He had seen Stanley throw himself off the lift man times but this time was different. The look on Stanleys face said it all. He didnt want to fall. He looks so scared. So The Narrator panicked to help and did save Stanley. But this new power of his probably gets abused. Which causes Stanley so much distress.

Stanley goes through the wrong door only to be dragged back. After a run or two of The Narrator dragging Stanley through the freedom ending does he see how this is effecting Stanley.

Maybe when The Narrator finally sees what hes doing for the next run he doesnt and Stanley just sits there waiting. Thinking nothing he ever does matters. Mans got the sad. When he finally sees The Narrator isnt going to force him he gets up and cautiously makes his way through the office. He goes to the lounge just to see if The Narrator will take his choices away again. But nothing. So he just sits in there for a while. Knowing that even his ability to make choices is out of his control. He really is just a puppet a tool for The Narrator. Thinking that The Narrator simple got bored of dragging Stanley around and thought it would be more ‘fun’ which Stanley making choices. Thats all he is isnt. Someone elses Entertainment. The mans spiralling and probably having a mental break down in there.

Meanwhile The Narrator is sitting there “oh god what have i done to him” because thats not what he wanted at all. He just wanted to show Stanley his happy ending. He truely wanted Stanley to be happy and thought that ending was enough. After all it ends with Stanley being happy doesnt it? Clearly not. He messed up. How can he make it up to Stanley now.

Oh geeze liz started writing this was supposed to be a liz rambles not a liz writes. Well no more!! Im ending this here. Leaving it tagged as a ramble too fight me its too short to be a liz writes anyway. The format is wrong

[kaeyamonsoon]

(about Permafrost Traiter) “#I’m saving this in my brain box” oh my god you’re killing me /pos

Love this tag. Thank you so much haha

IT'S A REALLY GOOD CONCEPT MY LIEGE ಥ‿ಥ a Kaeya-inspired artif set got me thinking a lot of lore potential story behind it. I have a few ideas of my own now that you shared about it 👁️👁️ and ofc it had to be angst.

more utc.

Like how sands can be a symbolism of how Kaeya waits for the right time to confront the truth to Diluc, or waiting for the time before he really have to choose between siding his own homeland or Mondstadt who warmly welcomes him ( ；∀；). What's even more angsty is that he even prepares himself for Diluc's anger. I think it could also include how Kaeya wants to enjoy his life to the fullest—

OR OR—

(thats so cool of him—)

Goblet may be a story behind how he uses wine as a way to gather information 👀; the reason of success of specific cases because of his intel

Circlet however, I really like the idea how he's the prince of Khaenri'ah, his voiceline of Fischl seems a bit suspicious 👁️👁️

Last generation of royals— to be honest of how much his story aligns with the artifacts, it could really be canon (delusional)

LAST LAST—

FEATHER, I WONDER IF IT COULD BE PAVO OCELLUS—

alright thats enough rambling, i really adore the idea of kaeya-inspired artifs, feel free to make do with the ideas i have :D looks like im gonna spend my day pondering about kaeya once more

[neptunecove]

you guys,,,, i dont know what to say,,, jakes fuckin idol,,,,,,,,,,,, i dont even have the strength to post about it THIS TOOK TOO MUCH ENERGY OUT OF ME