#oh god i wanted to log in and check memes but i decided to be strong for the sake of principle

[edbaldwin]

my twitter accs nuking 30-day deadline before they're dead dead ending up on the biggest temptation to come back day (trumps assassination attempts) i am being tested in the weirdest ways

[heymacy]

Macy!! Hi!!

Thoughts on YQHBR Ian booping Mickey? <3

DRISH! HI!!!

boy oh boy do i have thoughts. in fact, i even wrote a little something about it 😉 i give you, YQHBR: boop edition

**

Mickey stretches, twists his torso and legs like he’s wringing out a sponge. Bleary eyes blink awake, squinting against the sunlight beaming through his window.

He sighs. Good morning.

It’s April 1st. The day of fools. He already feels like a fool, if he’s being honest, every day of his life. But that’s something he can sort through later. Right now he has some catching up to do.

He rolls over in bed and grabs his laptop where it rests on the dresser. He pulls it into his lap, flipping open the screen and waiting for it to light up. When it does, it’s less than a minute before he’s logged into tumblr.

What….what the fuck?

There’s something new on his screen, right at the very top. It isn’t an ad, at least he doesn’t think so. He clicks it, hesitant, and nothing happens.

Hm. Strange.

He decides to consult the one tumblr expert he knows.

fcku-up: what the fuck is this thing on my dash eternitysgate: good morning to you too, sunshine

It’s been a week and a half since they’d started talking. They were friends now — not IRL, but something close — and talked nearly every day. It was becoming an integral and beloved part of Mickey’s daily routine.

Ian had been on tumblr longer than anyone Mickey knew. Except maybe Cassie. But he wanted to talk to Ian.

eternitysgate: it’s called boop eternitysgate: i think it’s an april fools thing eternitysgate: they do something like this almost every year eternitysgate: one year you could spam people’s pages with digital crabs fcku-up: crabs? eternitysgate: yep. little orange crabs fcku-up: lovely fcku-up: so what do i do? eternitysgate: click “opt in”

Mickey does as he’s told. Waits. A few minutes later, he checks his notifications.

eternitysgate, staysmashed, oliviasmiddlepart, and 6 others boop boop boop

He takes a screenshot, crops it, and sends it to Ian.

fcku-up: explain eternitysgate: lmao eternitysgate: who else booped you?

Mickey checks. Cassie twice, Victor, Liv, Zoe, and Ian 4 times.

fcku-up: you, mostly eternitysgate: excellent 😇 eternitysgate: now you boop back fcku-up: this is silly eternitysgate: boop me back, bitch 👊🏻 fcku-up: 🙄 eternitysgate: go to my blog, click the little paw. but don’t accidentally unfollow me or i’ll cry for a thousand years fcku-up: 🖕🏻

Mickey clicks on Ian’s username and opens his blog. There, in the navigation section, is a little orange paw. He clicks it.

You’re about to boop eternitysgate

And then, below it, in a purple oval,

boop

He sighs. Clicks it. A tiny green box shows up at the bottom of the screen, altering him to the fact that his boop had been sent through.

eternitysgate: BOOP BOOP BITCH fcku-up: you are a child eternitysgate: I AM A GOD eternitysgate: you don’t understand mick, i’ve been doing this for an hour and a half and i’ve never felt more alive fcku-up: happy for you eternitysgate: oh come on, you know you love it eternitysgate: now go boop cassie back or she’ll come whining to me about it fcku-up: FINE 🙄

** 

It’s been two hours and, much like Ian, Mickey has never felt more alive. He’s been booping almost the entire time, his meter ticking up, up, up. He’s booping friends, mutuals, strangers, people he’s seen in his notifications and people he’s never seen before in his life. Anyone and everyone.

He and Ian are in what the user base has declared a “boop war” — flooding each other with boops, not caring if the other person boops back first. It’s madness and Mickey can’t stop laughing.

There are memes now. Viral posts made mere minutes ago. He’s never seen anything like it, never been a part of anything like it.

eternitysgate: boop me again and i’ll fly to chicago and boop you IRL fcku-up: is that a threat or a promise? eternitysgate: both

Mickey bites back a grin. 

eternitysgate: do you think they’re gonna keep this around after the day is done? fcku-up: idk, maybe fcku-up: part of me hopes they do eternitysgate: it would be a never-ending war eternitysgate: wake up every morning, ride into battle fcku-up: eventually you’d admit defeat eternitysgate: HA! not likely

It goes on like that for hours. They talk for the entire day. It isn’t all about boops, little tidbits slip in between the cracks – what did you have for lunch? how’s your sister? do you have to work tonight? – but the main focus is this inane game they’re playing, this innate sense of bonding they’re experiencing with each other and everyone else.

Mickey can’t help but feel like he’s a part of something, finally. In this game, and in the grand scheme of things. He has friends. Mutuals. People that want to engage with him. Acknowledge him.

To see and be seen.

The sun set ages ago. Mickey is beneath the covers, laptop on his thighs. He boops Cassie, then Liv. Then goes and super boops Ian, followed by an evil boop. He wishes there was something higher than an evil boop, but alas. He decides to send another.

eternitysgate: stop evil booping me you bastard fcku-up: never shoulda told me to opt in, bitch eternitysgate: god i’m gonna miss this fcku-up: they might keep it eternitysgate: in case they don’t, i just want to say – it’s been a pleasure booping with you 🫡

Mickey smiles. Rolls his eyes. Can’t help but find Ian, as always, painfully endearing.

fcku-up: you too, nerd

[danineverwenttoazkaban]

SE Appreciation Week - Fic 1 (Karol route)

@sweeteliteweek Very late but I just barely ended this not so short fic.

This is Karol’s route imagining some moments like the airport goodbye and days later while they’re at home so Papa Scholar is also featuring. I couldn’t help but add a bit of Tegan too and I tried to put several ideas I had together on the same story. Hopefully the back and forth between present and past is not too confusing. I didn’t know how to name it so I just took a song I was listening to by Wilco that is really sweet if anyone wants to listen to it.

Jesus, Etc.

The familiar vibrant and noisy city was something Scholar hadn’t think she would miss during those months at Arlington’s. Especially not the noises from the neighbor from the floor above as she rowed with her husband for the third time tonight, the people pacing up and down the stairs, the kids playing, the pizza delivery guys and Misses Jones with her 5 dogs. She smirked thinking what Karolina would say if she heard all this noise and reminisced to when they met, smiling at the thought. She would be rich by now if she was given a dollar for each time she thought of Karolina since she got on the plane home.

 --------------------------------------------------------------

“That’s my plane, people! Enjoy the journey home!”, announced Tyler as he picked up his heavy luggage. He hadn’t explained what the heck he was carrying on his bags but Scholar assumed it was something artistic.

“Hey Tyler, don’t forget about tomorrow’s match! There will be a 30% buff bonus”, said Tegan.

“Oh man, I told you I have that thing with my parents. I’ll make it up to you later, promise”, replied Tyler.

“… ok”, said Tegan as he gave him a weak smile, clearly disappointed.

“Cheers!”, shouted Tyler as he ran towards gate A27.

Only Scholar, Tegan and Karolina remained in the departure lounge. Neither Tegan or Karolina seemed particularly happy of going home, in fact Tegan was staring at the floor as if he had just been told Christmas had been cancelled this year.

“Hey, maybe I could join? I am not very good at videogames to be honest but you can teach me”, said Scholar putting a hand on Tegan’s shoulder.

Tegan looked up and smiled blushing.

“S-sure, I think you’d make a great cleric”, Scholar had no idea what that meant but she hated the sad aspect Tegan had.

She noticed Karolina was staring at her direction, a curious look on her face. In that moment, she heard her flight being called.

“Well, I guess I have to go now”, she said to both of them.

Tegan nodded.

“I’ll call you tomorrow to set your PC ready for the match”.

“Sounds like a plan!”, she answered before giving him a quick hug.

As she let go of Tegan, she looked at Karolina, unsure on how to approach her. Scholar took a step in her direction, asking for permission, they had barely talked since the night of the basement

“… I-I… goodbye, Karolina. Enjoy the holidays”, she said with slight nervousness, waiting for an answer.

Karolina was biting her lip and seemed uneasy, as if she was making up her mind about something. She leaped forward and put her arms around Scholar. The girl let go of the breath she had unknowingly kept as she felt Karolina’s warm embrace.

“Let me know when you arrive home”, Scholar heard Karolina whisper close to her ear, her breath sending shivers down her spine. She then felt something touching her cheek, she froze when she realized it was Karolina’s lips. The touch was so soft, so slight that it could had just been Scholar’s imagination. They let go of the embrace and Scholar felt her heart sink at the idea of being apart from her so many days.

“I will, you too, please”, she answered. Both Karolina and Tegan nodded and Scholar took her luggage before parting…

 The following day, Scholar had to excuse to her father early because Tegan had opened an account for her in the game they were supposed to play, in fact he had even customized her character based on a number of questions he had asked, many of which Scholar wasn’t sure how to answer. As she started her PC and positioned on her seat, she could not help but feel excited, seeing Tegan through the webcam meant also, perhaps, seeing her as well. Tegan’s face as he logged in had a mixture of sadness, exhaustion and defeat, he didn’t have Karolina’s ability of putting on a straight face, Scholar didn’t want to push an answer out so she didn’t ask. They spent a couple of hours playing, Scholar died way too many times in pure noob style but Tegan didn’t mind, in fact he laughed each time as she panicked when the other players surrounded her with attacks.

“Thank you, Scholar. You made my day”, Tegan told her after the match was over.

“I’m glad, I had a great time even though I clearly suck for this…”, she answered giggling. Tegan laughed as well, he covered his mouth whenever he laughed and Scholar thought it was cute but sad at the same time how insecure he could be at times, even among his friends.

“… She’s busy talking to mom and dad, by the way”, Tegan added after a while, “in case you were wondering.”

“Oh… it’s ok. Is everything alright?”, Scholar asked concerned, to be honest their parents didn’t exactly sound like the kind that understood and supported their children.

“They didn’t take well all that happened in FAXION, I almost didn’t login for the game but she wanted me to let her handle it on her own”, answered Tegan, “she didn’t want me blowing up and them… “, he paused, “… doesn’t matter, I will take care of her now.”

“She’s a tough girl, she worries about you too”, said Scholar, “let me know if you need anything”

“Of course, thanks again. I will tell her you say ‘hi’ ”, said Tegan before closing the session.

 ------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scholar sighed as she wondered how things had gone back at the twins’ house, hoping they were ok. The days that had followed to gaming night not much had happened. Tyler spammed them with funny selfies from the Red Carpet of God knows which movie his parents had taken him to, Tadashi and Alistair sent photos with the Drews, especially the dogs at Axel’s request, and Claire and Neha exchanged recipes for Christmas season. But barely anything from Karolina, still the fact Tegan kept sending memes mocking how bad she was at gaming was oddly comforting.

“Honey, I’m home, can you give me a hand with the bags?”, called Papa Scholar’s voice.

“Sure, dad, coming!”, answered Scholar and she walked towards the kitchen.

The bags were full of materials for her father’s famous pasta recipe but this time with a twist: he had agreed on incorporating one of Claire's many recipes. Both of them prepared everything for their movie night. Afterwards, they settled in the living room as they picked a title. They decided on one of the old movies that Scholar’s father loved “Pride and Prejudice”. Scholar had tried to get his father to watch the newer adaptation of the story but it had been pointless, the 1995 version was the one her mother loved and in a way for him watching the movie again meant reliving the joyful moments they passed together. Scholar had seen it too a handful of times yet this time it felt different, she felt connected not only because it had been her mom’s favorite movie but because the situation was now all too familiar. The pride and prejudice dance.

“You keep looking at your cell phone, expecting someone’s message?”, Papa Scholar asked as he arched an eyebrow.

“N-no, just checking the hour”, Scholar tried to reply, unconvincingly.

“Hmm, don’t forget I was your age once and fell in love at your age too”, the kind man answered giving her a warm smile.

But before Scholar could reply, they heard the alert of a new message coming in. Scholar jumped at the sound and widened her eyes at the name that appeared on the screen: “Karolina”. She quickly unlocked the cell phone, almost dropping it due to the urgency. Not paying attention to her father’s laugh at her clumsy movements, she opened the message:

Karolina: Are you awake?

Scholar: Yes, hi…

Karolina: Can I call you?

Scholar’s heart drop at her message. Almost three days without a message from her and now here she was asking for a call. She really did take that “best way to win someone is to surprise them” to the bone.

“Sorry, dad. Could we drop it here? A friend from Arlington wants to talk to me”

“Don’t worry, girl. Go call your friend”, she really did have the best dad.

 Scholar practically ran towards her room and texted her back.

Scholar: Sure.

Immediately her phone was vibrating and ringing. She answered almost as a reflex.

“Karolina?”, started Scholar, trying not to sound too excited.

“… Did I interrupt you?”, asked Karolina. Her voice on the phone was something Scholar couldn’t had foreseen would make her feel weak on the knees.

“No, uhm, I was just finishing watching a movie with my dad”

“Was it one of those cheesy old movies your dad likes?”, Karolina asked on a mocking tone. Wow, she had really paid attention…

“Ha, yeah. Pride and Prejudice… because you know how much I’m into the hate to love trope”, she blurted out surprising herself. Was it too bold to hint at ‘them’ like that? What was it about Karolina that it made her go rogue often.

Silence.

“… yes, I know”, Karolina answered. Scholar wondered, hoped, if Karolina was blushing.

“And what are you doing?”

“Our parents threw a party”

“Wow, sounds like fun.”

“It’s just the usual winter party they throw every year ”

“I’ve never been into a party like that”

“Of course not”, Karolina blurted out, “… I didn’t mean it to sound like that, I-I don’t think you’re missing anything”

“Karolina, not that I mind but why are you talking to me instead of enjoying yourself out there?”

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------

Karolina was standing in front of the wall mirror of her bedroom. Her new pine green dress matched perfectly the emerald earrings her father had bought her last year as well as the red lipstick. Everything fit together

“Miss, they are waiting for you downstairs”, the maid called after softly knocking the door.

Karolina took her purse and proceeded towards the lobby, across the dining room and into the garden. The surrounding people dressed in etiquette, the tables and the exquisite centerpieces seemed all surreal. She felt disconnected to this usual display of frivolity and superfluous social interactions, greeting people with a fake smile and pretending to care about the chit-chat. These people who if given the chance would rather see them in ruins.

At dinner, she sat with a couple of acquaintances, girls she had known since her childhood, the type her parents considered ‘appropriate’ but could never truly be friends. Her mind drifted elsewhere, back to the chalet, the sensation of safety, of being seen for the first time through the façade of her strong petty attitude, the possibility of being just ‘Karol’. She excused herself as the girls looked at her questioningly, stood up and walked behind a couple of bushes seeking some privacy.

“I heard she is going down her mother’s route”, she heard a voice say from behind the bushes.

“Her scandal at FAXION was disastrous, everyone has been talking about it”, followed another voice.

“Honestly, does it surprise anyone? It was a wonder she got this far”, said a third voice.

Karolina felt the anger and hurt built inside her, she was about to turn around and face whoever felt they had the right to talk behind her back in her own house when her cellphone vibrated. She took out her cellphone and noticed Scholar had sent a message to the group thanking Claire for the last recipe attaching also a photo of Scholar and her father cooking. She smiled at how happy they seemed and got lost in the sparkle of her eyes. She bit her lip debating on whether or not to message her… Screw it.

------------------------------------------------------------------

 “… Hmm, Karolina, is everything ok? Can you still hear me”, Scholar asked.

“Yes, I-I just … “, Karolina answered.

“You know you can tell me anything”, Scholar said, “how is everything with your parents?”

She heard Karolina sighed.

“Not good but I’d rather not talk about it”

“I’m sorry about that but it’s fine, what do you want to talk about then?”

“Nothing really, I was just bored, this party is obnoxious”, Scholar’s heart skipped a beat at her words, does she just miss me?

“I see…”, Scholar said. With her heart palpitating like crazy and the excitement of talking to Karolina she couldn’t hold back her emotions and she added, “… I miss you too.”

“I never said… you’re right, I do”, Scholar smirked. Karolina admitting her feelings was so refreshing; Scholar would need one of Neha’s teas to calm down the butterflies in her stomach.

“So dull party, huh? Should I be thankful I didn’t get invited?”, followed Scholar.

“I don’t find this type of parties endearing anymore”

“What? Hanging out with me is harming your social standards”

“Haha, you wished. I’ve never liked these parties but it was a good opportunity to meet important people”

“Oh, did you meet anyone interesting this time?”

“No, I found out that people are still talking about my FAXION fiasco”, Scholar felt her blood boil at that.

“They did? I wished I could beat some sense into that people”,

Karolina chuckled.

“Hey, I don’t mind. It’s better if they talk about me, free publicity. Besides we technically won.”

“That you did, you two were amazing, seriously no one could rival Neha’s designs. Also, you looked so beautiful and classy… even though you weren’t feeling well, you pulled that off despite everything. I can only imagine the big things you’ll do in the near future”

“You’re sweet. But remember I could steal your third place in the Gold Tier if you’re not careful”

“Oh Miss Novakova, we’ll see about that, we could bet to me beating you up in the finals”, were they flirting for real this time?, Scholar thought.

“You’re not taking me to the cafeteria again, are you?”, oh they definitely were.

“Hmm how about taking you to the gardens? Like a picnic?”, oh god, was she asking her on a date?!

“Hmmm… ok, deal”, Scholar heard Karolina answer. She did just ask Karolina on a date and she said yes!

“Deal”, wow. But this time she wouldn’t let Karolina say it wasn’t a date.

She heard Karolina laugh on the other end and it made her grin like an idiot, she wondered if Karolina was blushing furiously like she was.

“Thank you, by the way”, Karolina said after a brief silence.

“For what?”

“Helping my brother stay calm. You didn’t have to do that”

“I’m glad to help, he’s a dear friend and it killed me to see him so sad”

“He has been happier considering…”, Scholar assumed she meant with whatever was going on in their house. She wished she could do more.

“And you? Feeling better?”, Scholar asked.

“Much better”,

“I’m glad. I’m here for you, always”

“I know, I’m here for you too”, her voice sounded soft, to think about how much had happened for them to get to this point.

“I have to hang up now, we’ll talk soon”, Karolina added.

“Oh ok, of course, go back to the party”, she didn’t know what to say, she could had kept talking to her all holidays if she could.

“Good night… Oh, and watch out your door tomorrow”, Karolina said with a curious tone in her voice, almost nervous.

“Tomorrow? What happens tomorrow?”, Scholar asked confused.

“J-just pay attention, ugh. I have to go now.”

“Ok, ok, I will do. Good night, Karolina”, and with that she was left with the usual cellphone tone.

 The following day was Christmas’ Eve. To say she had spent the morning ecstatic was an understatement. She kept circling around the call she had with Karolina, the fact she had asked her out on a date and whatever she meant by watching out for her door. Her dad was surprised that out of all the friends she had made at Arlington it was actually Karolina whom she had a crush on (she had to tell him since she couldn’t hide her joy).

“My first guess was that girl Claire who kindly gave us the recipes for Christmas dinner”, Papa Scholar said as he found out about the source of her daughter’s disturbance.

“Funny you guessed Claire, dad”, sighed Scholar remembering the fatal mistletoe incident.

“Why funny?”

“Oh dad, it’s just… a long story”, Scholar said.

“Well, I have to say that Karolina girl is drop dead gorgeous and if you say she is nicer to you, I believe you. When can you invite her here?”

“Dad! We’re not even… I mean, we almost … kissed b-but …”

They were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it”, said Papa Scholar.

“Actually dad, can you let me check who it is?”, jumped Scholar as she headed to the door.

She peaked from the door peephole. On the other side there was a guy looking like a delivery man.

“H-hello? Who is it?”, Scholar asked.

“Good afternoon, I have a delivery for a person named Scholar”, the guy answered from the other side.

Scholar opened the door, the man was carrying a golden plastic bag with a red bow on the outside.

“Hi, I’m Scholar”

“Oh great, I’m supposed to deliver this”, he handed her the bag, “please sign here… and here”

Scholar did as he requested and looked at the bag, it looked very elegant for a plastic bag.

“Thank you, merry Christmas, ma’am”

“Thank you too, merry Christmas!”

Scholar walked towards the living room holding the odd bag on her right hand. She took a seat on the couch and placed the bag on top of the table, slowly opening it. There was a card and a small black box on the inside. She took out the small box and opened it being startled by its content. It was an astonishing silver necklace with a sapphire pendant on the center, tiny diamonds seemed to surround the almost heart-shaped figure of the pendant. Papa Scholar couldn’t believe his eyes either, he got the card out and gasped.

“Honey, you need to read the card, look”, Papa Scholar said as he handed it out for her.

Scholar took the card in her shaky hands and opened it carefully:

“Hopefully this starts your way into the better fashion sense you desperately need… Merry Christmas, Karolina”

Scholar lost no time and rushed to get her cellphone. Please answer, please answer, she thought as she heard the dialing tone.

“Hi”, she heard Karolina’s voice answer.

“I-I-… Oh god, I-I can’t even… It’s so beautiful!”, Scholar tried to say forgetting how to speak.

“I am glad you like it.”

“I just… wow… thank you! How did you know where I live?”

“Uh-oh, guess who, Scholar”, she heard Tegan’s voice say.

“Y-you! From the time we played together… should had figured. “, Scholar said laughing.

“You got me, hehe. I’ll give Karol back her cell phone. Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas, Tegan!”

“I am sorry I had to ask him”

“Don’t be sorry, I love it”, Scholar said, almost as much as I love you, she thought, “I didn’t get you anything for Christmas, I feel awful, you went through all this and I-“

“I don’t need you to get me anything, just everything you’ve done for me and … how much I … I can’t tell you on the phone, ok?”, Karolina said.

“… s-sure. Thank you so much, Karol”, was it the first time she called her Karol out loud?

“Besides I already feel like I have my Christmas gift… Anyway, our father is calling us. Merry Christmas, Scholar”

“Merry Christmas, Karol”, Scholar replied and added, “I… you know I do too, for a while now if I’m honest.”

“I kind of knew but didn’t want to see it… Enjoy your night”

“Y-you too. Bye”.

 This was definitely the best Christmas she could had ever imagined, she only wished she could had thanked her in person but soon, very soon they will be able to figure it out.

END

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Hope you guys like it! The ending was rushed because it’s super late here so sorry for that.

[randomorwhatever]

my manipulative/emotinal abuser ex-friend

ok, another story time : 

In light of some recent events, I decided to speak about this.

I had this online friend ( oh shocking ) born ugly doesn’t help with making friends irl ok anywho.

How did it start :

It was an online streaming service, I was watching this channel and interacting with the chat and stuff, and all of’ve sudden I get a message on my account, happy that someone noticed my existence ( i want attention who doesn’t human nature am i right ) , ok I'll try to look up how we started talking and what did we talk about .

so in search for the old messages, i found out they changed their user name to a girl’s huh interesting 

it was the trolly usual stuff degenerates talk about where u from Lada de la da da etc ...

and then he says this :

P:thanks for talking to me

P: im very lonely u know

P: i dont have friends

Flags bitch these are some serious red flags I did not know back then but now I do, i dismissed it as yeah it’s just a one-time conversation you know.and then he says THIS : 

P:  i dont have anyone to talk and that feels awful.

me: but like u have a friend or 2 right?

P: nope.

P: i havent talked to a real human in months.

me: like none ?

me: for real ?

P: nope 

THE LIES lol this is a total foreshadowing I’m getting there, YEAH, so we liked the same channels, we had the same self-deprecating jokes same type of humour, I was leaving and he wanted us to stay in contact so  I was like yeah and he added me on discord. 

Getting to know each other and the manipulation :

we continued talking afterwards and I found out I had more things in common with him, he told me about his story growing up and I felt sorry for him because he had it rough for real.(or so he made it be idk idk)

Fast forward to a month or so , he started hinting he liked more than just a friend , i dismiss it as per usual, and he had this thing where he would always call himself stupid and stuff , I tried to convince’ him otherwise and tried so hard to change how he viewed himself which is stuff I struggled with too but decided I was the bigger person and tried at least to make him feel better. 

I won’t lie when I was going through some shit he always had my back and kept encouraging me he was so” supportive”. 

BUT .... whenever i became distant because I do that sometimes; he threatens to kill himself and once I was feeling really bad i needed some time off he just went on a frenzy and cut his hair off (and got back to cutting) i don’t know if it’s real or not but that shit scared;me I was afraid to not be online and not contact him . 

 The next time he asked me to go out with him which is physically impossible because he was like 1000km I tried to explain to him why i don’t do that and i had  my reasons too , but he wouldn’t take it and started crying and was so miserable which made me feel super bad so I brushed that incident off too .

and since then everytime i say something like that upsets him or doesnt line up with what he wants he tells me he was going to cut or end it all . 

THE LIES UNRAVELED : 

i was going away for a couple of days and had no regular access to the internet so i told him;scared he would do something , and when i was away i would check up on his profile to see if he was online from time to time and i notcied somethign he told me he had NO FRIENDS, not even online firends, but i see he has been duoing with this person for quite awhile:lie numero uno .

and this is another event , he told me he deleted this game , and right after i check his profile and boom he played a game right before he told me of his decision and even after he was still playing lie numero dos

some stuff about him didn’t add up too, how he was starving himself for like a week and by GOD’S GRACE is still alive somehow: lie numero i stopped counting by that point because there were too many.

yeah, and did i mention that he told me his parents took away his phone and laptop and SOMEHOW i could stll see his recent games that were played after the incident .

weird i know , mind you he wasn’t going out so the fact that he might’ve been playing in pc bang was quiet unlikely .

Anyhow this was too long and too hard to write about , sadly this relationship or whatever it was came to an end over something stupid , he called me something i did not like i stopped replying he stopped contacting me and it was over just like that .

there were some good times too we had the same interests so we always watched tourney’s together and commented and had our own points and reward system , and the memes it was the best part tbh . 

I left some things out , but i appreciated what we had and miss it sometimes .

after we stopped talking i remember i chekced his profile and saw that he didn’t log in for like a week , i cried buckets i thought he  really commited sucied because he was addcited to this game so him not playing was a bad sign, i forgot that it was somehow an older version of the page and refreshed�� and through some other means i found out he was still alive . thank god.

we don’t talk but the period that we did and the fear i lived was real imagine you’re being responsible for sombody else’s life . 

sorry for taking so long and the bad grammar and vocab but this wil forever haunt me . it fucks your mind forever. 

i’m not all there mentally so it just added up to whatver kinda fucked up i had , i still wish him happiness and to be a better human .

But i don’t feel trapped anymore , tip toeing my words and actions , you’re not supped to feel like that with a friend . afriend is someone who make you feel safe and loved .

[iridescentanachronism]

when one night only turns into two

hello folks, i have never written fanfiction and never used this blog! i guess i’m diving in headfirst LMAO!!! 

this is a lil blurb i thought of when y/n is a singer (not super big but for sure up and coming) and she covers kiwi at one of her shows and it goes viral and harry notices and decides to just SHOW UP at her show the balls on this guy!! anyways this is my first fic so please be kind! constructive criticism is always welcome 

“thank you for coming out tonight! your presence gives me the ability to do my job- i will always be grateful for each and every single one of you. drive safely and love one another, los angeles. thanks again for having me, you have been wonderful.” 

as you walked off the small stage at the house of blues your heart swelled with pride. this was your first show out of state, and from what the audience sounded like, you had crushed it. performing in LA had always been a dream of yours, but a daunting one, considering that their crowds were used to big names and powerful stage presences. you were intimidated by the city- yet you walked off their stage with an indescribable feeling of pride, adrenaline, and confidence. this was the start of something new and you could feel it.  

feeling someone’s eyes on you, you made a sharp turn and ran into your tour manager, rosco. “hello! hey, hey, hey, that was amazing wasn’t it? the energy felt absolutely maddening! god, i could do that everyday for the rest of my life. what do you think? was it too much, did we do too many covers?” the words seemed to flow right out of you, even though you gave LA your all, it was still LA, and rosco had always been your best critic. he quickly responded to let you know it was as amazing as you’d originally thought, and that if this show was any indication, you would have plenty more shows in LA. 

what you didn’t expect, however, was the ruckus that one of the aforementioned covers would cause on twitter. you had always loved harry styles, and after taking quite some time to look into the legalities on the matter, decided to cover kiwi for the first time last night. logging into your account, you noticed the song title trending- and after clicking on it you were led to a video of your show, hair being shaken around you, throwing yourself around the stage with the heavy music, and the scene was completed with a boisterous crowd jumping around and singing every word along with you. a smile covered your face- this is your favorite part of performing, losing yourself entirely in the stage, and in this video you were doing just that. however excited you had become at the potential this showed for your career, you immediately had so many questions. why had this blown up so much? you covered four songs last night, why is this one such a big deal? after looking through the tag, chuckling at some memes, and being freaked out by some responses, you had found the tweet that made you lose your shit. the tweet itself wasn’t even the raunchiest you had found this morning, it simply stated: “@y/t/n: fuck my shit up, babe. literally, whatever you want to do to me, do it” with the linked video of you singing kiwi. however, one thing in particular stood out to you. the part that said “liked by harry styles”. 

you immediately dialed rosco, not only is he your tour manager, but basically your entire support system. a musicians life gets lonely, and he is the only one who has stuck by you throughout the entire tumultuous journey. 

“sweetheart! perfect timing, i actually was just about to call-”

“harrystylessawthekiwivideoandlikedatweetaboutitholyfuckingshit-” you started to ramble, your most prominent nervous trait, in the highest pitch rosco thought he had ever heard from you. 

“sweets, first of all, where was that pitch when we recorded the album? second, take a breath and tell me again, i can’t understand a damn thing you said”

you took a deep breath and told him of the tweets you saw, and when you told him about harry’s interaction he simply told you to chill out. he had favorited a tweet, and he may not have even been the one to do it. with an odd sting you realized he was correct, while it was exciting to have your idol recognize you, you could not overthink it: it was simply recognition for a job well done. 

“it seems as though the people you needed to impress are just as proud of you as i am, lovey, your ‘one night only’ in los angeles has been extended to two, you interested in doing it all over again tomorrow night?”

you must have looked like a goldfish in your kitchen, jaw slack and eyes wide open, you struggled to come to your senses. you had asked for the chance to prove yourself in a city known for music, and good music at that, and were apparently being gifted with a second chance. 

“oh! um, yes, of course, why wouldn’t i? holy shit, this is amazing, holy shit!” you began to squeal and run in circles around your house. whilst giggling with elation, the seriousness of this event hit you: two nights of rocking out with the liveliest crowd you have ever played for, in the city you’ve dreamt of doing this in for years. drops began to form in your eyes as you managed to spit out a quick thank you to rosco, who knew you would cry. he, quite frankly, did not want to hear your tears, so he hung up after telling you what to tweet. 

after logging on you realized you had gone from a respectable 10k followers to an overwhelming 30k, you almost squealed again, composing yourself enough to type, you wrote: 

@y/t/n: wow. in absolute awe of you la. thank you for supporting me, and thank you for letting me do what i do. and thanks to you all, i have been gifted another night here (-: night two at the hob! tickets on sale at 6pm california time, come see me tomorrow night, peeps! i’ll be sure to make it worth your while <3 

with the click of your fingers and the ping of your phone, the announcement had been sent, and the stage had been sent. the pressure was on, and you had never felt more in your element. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

everything that could have gone wrong on the morning of your fateful second show, had. you had woken up late (something minor, but was an omen for your bad day), gotten a flat tire, been hit on by the man sent to fix said flat tire, and had been late to soundcheck. after arriving at soundcheck you had found that everything was wrong, the stage wasn’t set up correctly, the duct-taped x’s from the previous show had been removed, and you had to all but start from the beginning. 

you had planned to change things up from your previous gig, but had no time to practice the changes. you spoke to your band and hoped that was enough, you drank some coffee, did some jumping jacks, warmed up your vocals, and put on your game face. this is your second show in LA, and you weren’t going to let anything ruin it; hearing the sounds of a sold out bar in front of you, feeling your heart began to flutter in your chest, and knowing that in a few minutes you would be putting on the best show of your goddamn life had set you up well. you were ready. with your shoulders back and head up high, you walked onto stage and, unknowingly, commanded the attention of the room. 

about twenty minutes into your set you decided to take a quick breather. taking a long sip of water and leaning into the microphone, you decided to do a quick little check in, “hey folks, hows everyone doing out there?” your southern drawl had just slipped in towards the end, and you felt so at ease on stage that you hadn’t even noticed. someone else did notice. 

harry styles had decided to surprise you at your show, he had favorited that tweet because he agreed- you could do whatever you wanted to him, but he would rather do whatever you wanted to you. he had his signature smirk on as he stood backstage, listening to rosco ramble about how surprized you would be when you realized he had come, and how much you adored his album. as you continued to banter back in forth with the sold out bar, harry had taken note of how peaceful you looked. you stood proudly on stage, with messy hair, and a sick body you looked comfortable; the stage had seemed like your home. 

luckily, you hadn’t noticed harry the entire show, hadn’t even noticed how his eyes hadn’t left your body while you passionately belted out every word to his song, completely losing yourself in the melody, and delivering another breathtaking performance. he watched you take your final bow, and heard your last expression of gratitude, before watching you run off stage and into the arms of your tour manager. harry quickly noticed the tears in your eyes and the smile so large that it looked painful, he heard your rambling and the joy in your voice, it had reminded him of when this was all new, when nothing was guaranteed, and the only thing keeping him in this trying industry was the feeling you were experiencing right now. 

his moment of nostalgia passed as you had unraveled yourself from rosco’s arms and did a double take. harry styles was standing in front of you. you heard a deep chuckle coming from him, likely due to your wide eyes and gaping mouth, he heard a quiet “no fucking way” come from you, and decided he had waited long enough. as cocky as usual, he rasped out, “hello love, your show was amazing. it’s a pleasure to meet you, i’m harry, as i think you may know” he didn’t bother waiting for a response from the gobsmacked young woman before continuing, “y’know, i’ve seen plenty of covers of kiwi, but none have been as genuine as yours. you captured the song for what it is, you blew it away, blew me away in fact, so i knew i had to come out and see ya tonight.” his accent grew thicker as he became more bemused with your state of shock.

your breath eventually caught up to you as you nervously chuckled, “holy shit, thank you so much. you have no idea how much that means coming from you. thank you for coming out, oh my god, i have so much to say to you but nothing is coming to mind other than thank you, so thank you, again” 

“of course, darling, i loved it. i’ll be sure to pass along my number so whatever comes to mind can be said. unfortunately, i have to run, but i’ll be seeing you around kiddo, keep up the good work” harry said with a sly wink, leaving you flushed at the pet name, and yearning for more time with him. while you let out a soft thank you and goodnight, you began to think of what the future held for you. praise from harry styles was not to be taken lightly, and his impromptu visit had only fanned the flame in your soul, his visit meant you were doing something right, and this had been the fuel you needed to continue putting in long hours at the studio, and spending evenings alone, writing in your shitty and overpriced apartment.  

while you had been thinking of what this visit meant for your career. harry had thoughts of you headlining arenas swimming around in his head. as he walked away he thought of you; thought of how immensely talented you were, how charismatic you were, and how far you had to go. he also thought of your grace, the presence you carried as you pranced around on stage, and the charming beauty that you seemed unaware of. harry styles knew you were talented, but he also knew you were breathtaking, and he could see absolutely nothing stopping you. 

as he walked away and you listened to rosco’s compliments, you allowed your own mind to wander. maybe, just maybe, things were going to look up for you. and you couldn’t help but sigh happily at the thought. 

A/N: hello peeps! sorry this was super long hmm i’m torn between cutting it or not, because not much harry but also the buildup is important to me, please let me know what you prefer! constructive criticism is ALWAYS welcome and apprecited! thanks for reading this far if you did, you mean the world to me! let me know if y’all would want a part two (-:

[wizardessheart-sideb]

The latest episode is here! Below the cut is a transcription

HEWWO!

Hello everyone, welcome to Royal Magic Academy Radio, a podcast about Wizardess Heart. I’m your host, Mari. So uh. YEAH, we had a lot of big stuff happen since the last episode, so let’s get on with the show.

GAMING NEWS

Event-wise, we got a joint Romance Point slot that brings back some of Elias and Luca’s past stories AND CGs. So it’s a combo of two guys AND stories and CGs. There’s a new star collection event, All Aboard the Mystery Express. I have to say I never expected to get a mystery train event, but I’ll take it. I think it’s a good theme and I like Hugo’s story. I haven’t read any of the other stories because I don’t care about them and I don’t have Klaus’ yet. 

We got Joel’s sequel! His main route early bird is still running, so we’re getting like Double Joel. Or in my case, triple Joel since I’m transcribing his main route so. It’s Joel season y’all.

We also now have quite a few new features. After years of asking, we now have a greet all button. While I’m glad this is a thing since a lot of people are happy about it, I personally don’t use it because using greet all and then sending people messages for that extra 20 Lune is a nightmare. I did a time comparison using my personal account and then the one I use to screen record stuff for Ceragon Dubs, and if you use greet all and then go into your friend list to send messages it’s a lot longer. But it wasn’t as long as how much time I spent screen recording, logging in and out of facebook accounts, and video editing and breaking out my phone and screen recording that for a timer.

There’s also a new feature on consumable items. I mean, that’s the best way to describe it. So basically, there’s now a thing called limited time items. As the name suggests, they’re only available for about 15 days, and if you don’t use them in that time, they disappear. So far, we’ve seen this with Story Tickets and Muffins. I imagine it will probably go over to the other snack items, but I don’t know about the others consumables. Time will tell, I suppose.

FUTURE EVENTS/SPECULATION

Okay so since we’re now getting the next batch of sequels, if we’re going in the order of the poll, Hiro’s is next. That is all. Although I do think we're gonna get season 10 first. But yeah, Hiro's should be next. Sequel-wise, at least.

CALL AND RESPONSE

And now we have the long awaited response portion of call and response! Everyone’s favorite segment where I have no clue what I’m doing, I take shit from Love Live!, and I am met with the realization if I were an idol my call and response would be the worst because I can’t think of anything, which is why we make Love Live references. Ngl I feel like my call would be like “Who’s my favorite audience member?” and then the audience is like “me!” and I fake mishearing them and I’m like “memes?!” and then we all dab or some shit because that’s my brand. Dabbing at everything. Okay but yeah so. I asked you guys to rewrite character bios so. Let’s have some FUNNNNN.

Okay, and I sort have things in the correct places so I can just read them. I mean "sort of" because I have to go through DMs and stuff, but... Okay so our first one is from @nadia-the-wizardess. And hers is for Hugo which of course it is, I love you dude. So she submitted... And I'm not gonna try to be a complete ham. I'm gonna try and have some dignity while reading these. "Friend or foe? The masked man seemed to be at every turn, either helping us or using us to his advantage. He claims he has come from the future to help put us on the correct path and change our tragic destiny. We still don't know what Hugo is truly planning, but despite all this, I've decided to put my faith in him and join him in his journey through time and save his-- our future!" And then her sidenote, "(God I hope I did this right sbhdnsns)." You did! You are all good and I - you know I love Hugo, probably… well…  probably just as much as you. Hugo is my best boy, so.

Okay, so. God, this segment is cursed. I… This is literally the fifth time I;ve tried recording this one little story because like my mic just keeps like cutting out. I need a brand new mic like this one is not cutting it anymore but anyway. So this call and response has a funny story behind it. So essentially like when I first get responses, I don't necessarily read them carefully at first, like I'm just kind of aware. Like “okay, like some.” So when I first did the call and response a while ago, um, I was vaguely aware that I had two and one was from Nadia and the other was from an anon. And so obviously like I push it back and then, uh, me and my friend have been chatting, who's not Nadia. That's the only identity clue I will give you cuz I'm not going to say who it is but um, *laughs* she's gonna be so mad though. So anyway, so me and my friend were talking and she was like, “Oh hey, I have a question so ‘theoretically’” in quotes, if she had sent a call and response answer to me like, would she have to make a new one or like whatever, like trying to figure out what's going on. And I said like honestly I’ll use whatever you give me because I do literally like whatever people spend in and I will use so it's a free-for-all, like I’ll use anything. 

And then she told me that was good because she forgot what she, and I air quote this, “theoretically” sent. And I was like, “Well you”... This was before I checked my inbox cuz I was like, “Oh, I’ll just go in and like copy paste in and put in our chat. So I was just like “You could always ask me to send you things” like if you don't remember what you do - andthis goes for anyone. Like if you send a response by not DM by like inbox and you don't remember what you wrote like you can totally just message me and be like, “Hey I sent this, I don't remember how I worded it exactly I'm worried that I messed it up could you please tell me what it was” and like totally go ahead and do that like I don't mind. So then, you know, like I went into my inbox so I was like, “Okay let's see what she said” and um. This is what she said. “Call and response for Sigurd (Feat. Leslie) - Sigurd's the only student who can equally terrify the staff at Olive Garden along with Klaus. With his overbearing obsession and appetite for any sort of pasta, he's best known as Klaus' right-hand man when it comes to needing a bud for their 2 for $12 appetizer promotions.” Not sponsored by Olive Garden. “I hear even though he currently majors in Magical Creature Taming, rumor has it he'll be switching to Culinary Magic for... ‘Reasons.’ Personally, I'd rather not know,” Same. “but if you insist...*Shrug”

And anyway this is cursed and yeah, I can understand why my friend did not want to like, confront me about this. Oh God, RIP. We got through it, she's fine.

So our next one is from @uraminowaltz and she has two and they're both for Klaus because of course they are. I should just rename this segment to me roasting my friends. Okay, so her serious Klaus one is: “Likes: Tea, sweets, challenging games, cooking. Dislikes: Coffee, Zeus,” Girl me too. “Irresponsibility, abuse of authoritative power. Hobby: Cooking, inventing magical tools. Skills: Unintentional romantic gestures, endurance with magic, WORKAHOLIC.” Yeah I-I felt that. I felt that. So the joke one: “Likes: His giant personal ring of 500 different keys. Dislikes: Losing his keys.” Also same. “Hobby: Making copies of his keys. Skills: Losing his keys PLEASE HELP HIM FIND HIS KEYS HERE IS A CROWDFUNDING LINK TO FIND HIS KEYS IT'S FUNDED AT 60%.” Oh, Klaus. Klaus. Honestly though when they did the Klaus II profile and it was like, thing that worries him, uh, losing, uh, lost his keys I was like goddammit. Like it just… It was one of those things that I didn’t realize was on brand for him, but then once I read it and saw it, I was like “Oh God yeah yeah that's his brand that's his... poor baby, that's his brand.”

Okay so our second to-  Actually, it might second-to-last I haven't checked the notes of that post so I guess I have to do that too. Okay so anyway, @sigurdcurtisholdsmegentle said… uh, did some, and you're going to be surprised who it was for. It was for Sigurd. So their joke one and they said… Their personal note for this was “Please actually kill me for this.” No I will not. You must atone for your sins. Uh... “Likes: Pasta. Dislikes: People who don't like pasta. Hobby: Naming spices in the pasta sauce. Skill: Cooking Pasta.” I'm very glad you did not put anything else because I would not want to read that out loud and that is NOT a challenge to anybody *laughs* So their serious one is: “Likes: Jazz music, Puns, The Rain, Make up.” Hell yeah. “Dislikes: His father, Himself, Ch… *laughs* CHICA,” I… We’re going for it. We’re going for the discourse and controvershy. The controversy. I can’t talk. Uh. Also dislikes “Blood. Hobby: Writing letters, Playing trumpet, Playing chess with Klaus. Skill: Decorating, Well timed exits, Running on little to no sleep.” Poor baby. But yeah I mean yeah. That's him. So the next one is... that they did was for Mel so it's “Likes: Apple cider, Plants, Perserving wildlife. Dislikes: Time Magic, Sol Felia,” It’s feh-lia not fee-lia, right? Like it’s not… I don’t feel like it’s fee-lia? I’m like pretty sure it’s feh-lia. Okay, it’s feh-lia now, I’m making the executive decision. It’s feh-lia now. Uh. “Oranges, Explaining.” God I felt that like whenever I reread Sigurd’s route, Mel's like “I don't want to explain” I’m like please shut up stop it like please, just explain. Good God. Like you're just making more trouble for yourself my dude. “Hobby: Sleeping in the greenhouse, Reading lore. Skill: Botany, Making wands, Flower” Oh my God, flower arrangements, that’s so cute. Oh my God, I love that actually. Like, I mean honestly like I liked all of them, but like that's so cute. That was super cute, I really like that one.

So, I don't think my call and response post had any notes. Except from people just liking it but I'm going to double-check cuz I'm not 100% sure.

Okay so it's time for our final call and response which will be my own. I literally have to bring up the my inspiration, my muse to *laughs* to do this. Okay so like, my whole inspiration for this prompt was the fact that like Azusa never got like an actual profile. Like it's all just question marks and um, we're going to fix that. And that's why I got the idea like, “oh that be really funny like everyone just rewrote things.” Let's go for the serious one first. That way I can do that and then I can goof. So my serious profile rewrite for Azusa and I did not write this beforehand, so… yeah! Let’s see… “Likes: his brother. Dislikes: hypocrites, himself.” Uh, that’s such a… *laughs*

That's such a mood. Every dude in this game is like self-loathing and some way. But I mean that's just how people are so I mean I guess it's not actually like that much of a stretch. But anyway. “Hobby… ………” Uh. You know, it's bad that I can't think of anything not just because like, I can't think of anything, but because he's one of my favorites and I'm like, “does he even have hobbies” like I'm not - I'm sure he does but I mean… “Hobby: telling Randy to shut up” I don't know. Uh, “Skill: onmyojutsu” just because we're basic and that was our serious one. And now for the fun one.

Um…. okay so, “Likes: his family. Dislikes: people. Hobby: ……….. you know. Skill: being a jackass” I don't know. I'm not even going to try and improv a description. Oh, poor Azusa. Although I do wonder if- when he gets a sequel, I wonder if that… I wonder if they’re gonna, like, continue making the, you know, kinda like additional info thing or if we’re gonna get like, a real profile for- Okay like, okay. I would be so fucking mad if like once he gets his sequel and they put like his like, um, like second profile thing and it's literally just all *laughs* it’s all question marks. I would be so fucking mad. I’d be like “come on PLEASE. PLEASE DON’T DO THIS TO US.” Okay anyways, so that was call and response. Thank you guys for coming on this journey with me. Um, that was fraught with recording problems and I'm not looking forward to transcribing this, but sometimes you just got to do what you got to do.

ROUTE REVIEW

All right, so it’s time to review Sigurd’s route. His route had come out a bit before I started playing, and I vaguely remember getting a notification about it, but honestly I don’t remember too much about it. I was playing Yukiya at the time and while I thought Sigurd was cute, I was too lost in the Yukiya sauce to do anything but Yukiya-related stuff. 

It honestly took me a while to play Sigurd’s route, like i played it for the first time last year, and like. I just genuinely enjoy Sigurd so much. Like he’s such a funny guy and so sweet. Falling in love with a guy like that just feels natural. And the story handled it super well too. The story balances plot and romance very well and they feel very cohesive. 

The plot was really solid, with enough ends left to get resolved in Mel’s route. But then again, I’m very partial to this mystery series and no, I’m not just saying that bc I cosplay sol maiden!Liz. It’s a good story idea, bront. Not to mention there’s like, a lot of fluff in Sigurd’s. I mean it absolutely has upsetting moments, but it’s just. Okay like I don’t mean to get on a soapbox or whatever, but it’s just. I feel like my culture gets inundated with these images of cishet relationships where men don’t treasure their partners. I acknowledge it’s toxic and it’s a serious problem and all, trust me this sort of thing is something I’ve taken enough classes on to consider it an unofficial minor, but like I’M SO TIRED OF SEEING THESE CISHET MEN BE JERKS TO THEIR CISHET GIRLFRIENDS. Like really, we’re gonna romanticize a dude being a jerk to his girlfriend and not show the repercussions of this sort of behavior and act like it’s normal? Really? That’s what we’re gonna do? So like any media that portrays a guy as being loving and smitten and affectionate with his partner is just. That’s so refreshing and so WONDERFUL like I eat that stuff UP. Like it’s so clear Sigurd is so taken with the MC and it’s just like hot chocolate on a cold day. 

So yeah the plot’s good and Sigurd is just. Wonderful. But I also love how much lore we got in this route. We got country names, continent names, what sort of extra curriculars the academy has. Even some Goldstein lore. In my opinion, the best routes usually have some hella cool lore details and this route had a lot. 

And this is a minor thing but. As someone who was raised with their cousins and stuff, they just nailed the cousin interactions between Klaus and Sigurd. I have a cousin who, as of now actually since birthdays, is the same age as me, although usually I’m older. My cousin and I mess with each other all the time and he bullies me constantly. I’m just kidding, I’m definitely the Sigurd to his Klaus. And like Sigurd and Klaus, we actually play a lot of games together, or play the same game at once. We’re both really into video games and his latest hobby is bullying my brand new Fire Emblem husband Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd. But in all seriousness, the game handled then well and the only way they could’ve made it more realistic is if they kept poking each other and making weird noises at each other. I mean, do you REALLY have a cousin if you don’t greet them by screeching like a pterodactyl? 

Typing this all out makes me realize how weird my cousin and I are. 

Okay but anyway. This route is very good and Sigurd is just an absolute doll. I highly recommend reading.

BYE BYE!

And that’s it for us today!! Thank you guys for tuning in this week. I’m sorry this episode is late. I was going to record it yesterday but something happened and basically made me give up on doing anything I wanted to do yesterday. But anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode and hopefully next episode will be on time!! With that, have a great week! This is Mari, signing off.

[thelighthousemp3]

Hey girrrl! First of all, I wanted to thank u for posting your fics. I've been struggling with anxiety and reading dianetti fics helps a lot! Second, can you write a fic settled after episode 18 of the second season, where Gina and Rosa go together to the Beyonce concert they won tickets for, and there they start to realize their feelings towards each other?

hi!! thank you for this prompt!! read on ao3 or below

Gina snatches the Beyonce tickets and waves them ecstatically in front of Rosa’s face, exclaiming something about how they’re her god-given right to own. Rosa simply smiles; she’s happy that the tickets landed with Gina. Gina’s the most enthusiastic person about Beyonce that Rosa has ever known.

To be fair, Rosa doesn’t know many Beyonce enthusiasts. She does her best to not get out much. But judging from Gina’s twitter feed (yes, she’s seen Gina’s twitter), Gina’s the most enthusiastic about Beyonce.

So yeah, Rosa Diaz has some thoughts on Gina Linetti and some on Beyonce. Who’s to judge her?? Everyone has quite a few thoughts on Gina Linetti (and Beyonce). Yeah, so Rosa’ll (never) admit that she’s listened to a few Beyonce songs upon Gina’s recommendation, even though Rosa never takes recommendations from anyone. But that doesn’t say anything.

Oh, it totally does say something. It screams that “Rosa Diaz is super gay for Gina Linetti!!”

It’s not something Rosa’s proud of. She could have decided to subtly crush on anyone, but her damn heart chose Gina freaking Linetti. The human form of the 100 emoji. The most dangerous person (next to Rosa) in the precinct. And Rosa knows that if Gina likes her back, they’d have the ability to take over the world (all while holding hands).

“Hey. Hey. Hey,” Gina says, waving her drink in front of Rosa’s face. “Snap out of it, Diaz. What’re you thinking about that’s more important than me, anyways?”

Rosa blinks a few times before taking a gulp of beer. “Hmm?” she mumbles, redirecting her focus to Gina’s face.

“Hey, sorry that you didn’t win the tickets. You know, because your boyfriend likes Beyonce so much.” Gina pulls a face of (fake) sympathy towards Rosa, who shrugs.

“No problem. They’re your god-given right,” she says. Truth be told, Rosa’s boyfriend doesn’t exist. When Captain Holt had pitched the riddle, Rosa had thought of Gina immediately upon seeing the Beyonce tickets. And that was why she had wanted to win the tickets so badly. She had wanted to take Gina to the concert, not some fake made-up boyfriend.

(Rosa had a whole story planned out. She would have invited Gina to the concert and made up some lie about her boyfriend cancelling. Then they’d go to the concert, and at the end, Rosa would tell Gina that she had dumped her boyfriend over text.)

“Rosa! Rosa!” Gina snaps her fingers in front of Rosa’s face, interrupting the detective’s thoughts once again. “Seriously, girl! Is there something really more important on your mind than me?”

Rosa rolls her eyes; she’s not going to admit that she was just thinking about Gina. “I mean, if the tickets mean so much to you… nah, I don’t like your boyfriend,” Gina says, pursing her lips.

Rosa squints at Gina. “Really? You haven’t even met him!” she says. The boyfriend may be fake, but Rosa’s still offended. She whisks a shot of tequila away from Jake and downs it.

“Well, I do know him well enough to know that he’s fake,” Gina mumbles.

Rosa’s eyes widen. “What? How do you know that, huh?” she demands, satisfied to see Gina grow a little bit smaller under intimidation.

“I just know, Rosie,” Gina says, squaring her shoulders with confidence. “I’m a better detective than all of you.”

“You don’t know that,” Rosa accuses.

Gina ignores this and just asks, “Why’d you want the Beyonce tickets, anyways?”

“If you’re such a good detective, then why don’t you just figure it out?” Rosa snaps.

Gina seems to ponder over this statement for a few moments. She takes a sip of her drink before looking Rosa in the eye. “Huh, Rosie, I don’t know,” she smiles. “But why don’t you take the extra ticket and come to the Beyonce concert with me on Sunday, hmmm?”

Rosa clenches her fists, bewildered. She blinks a few times. “Um, yeah, sure,” she stammers.

Gina grins widely. “That’s what I thought,” she says, snatching Rosa’s beer and taking a gulp. “See, I’m a really great detective. Don’t ask, okay, boo? I’ll pick you up on Sunday.”

“But―”

“I know where you live,” Gina says.

“Stalker,” Rosa mumbles under her breath. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Amy dancing. Rosa quickly swipes the drink that Hank the bartender passes towards Amy, hoping to save everyone from the embarrassment of four drink Amy.

“Not a stalker,” Gina corrects. “Just very informed about everyone’s lives.”

Rosa rolls her eyes and grabs her beer back from Gina. She puts the bottle to her lips and takes a long draught, finishing the bottle off. “Gotta go,” Rosa gasps as she slides off of the bar stool and heads towards the exit to grab a cab.

“M'kay!” Gina calls after her. “Wear something nice!”

Rosa tries to avoid thinking about the heat rising to her cheeks as she quickly gets into a taxi, intending to crash as soon as she gets home.

The next day goes by uneventfully. Rosa stays boarded up in her apartment, ignoring seventeen memes from Jake, fifty-six texts from Charles, one email from Amy, and (unfortunately) nothing from Gina. She idly flips through the channels on the TV, sighing every so often and checking her phone to see if Gina’s texted her anything.

Nothing.

Rosa pulls her laptop closer and opens Spotify. She quickly logs in with Gina’s password (Gina has premium, okay? No ads. Don’t judge Rosa for having access to Gina’s Spotify) and within a few minutes, Beyonce’s newest album is blaring through Rosa’s apartment.

She doesn’t know when exactly she falls asleep, but she wakes up a few hours later with her phone blown up with notifications. Ten new memes from Jake, twenty-seven new texts from Jake, one new email from Amy, and… three new texts from Gina Linetti. Rosa ignores everything else on her phone and quickly opens the texts from Gina.

Gina: bitch stop using my spotify

Gina: i know ur listening to beyonce and while its a very sweet gesture i’d like to use my spotify now

Gina: u can listen to beyonce at the concert with me tomorrow

Rosa rolls her eyes and presses the home button on her phone, leaving Gina’s texts on read. She logs out of Gina’s Spotify and pushes her laptop away.

The day seems to pass incredibly slowly. Rosa can’t wait for the sky to go black so that she can collapse in bed after a day of absolutely no productivity.

Sleep comes to her sooner than she had expected. Shortly after sunset, Rosa falls asleep on her couch, resulting in several uncomfortable positions and stiff muscles. Oh, and also waking up at the literal crack of dawn the next day.

She still has many hours before Gina’s supposed to come and pick her up. Rosa decides to go for a ride on her motorcycle, hoping that it’ll take her mind off of Gina Linetti.

For a few hours, it seems to work. It’s just Rosa, the road, her bike, and the wind.

And then she decides to grab a coffee. She runs into Charles, and the first thing that he says is, “heard you’re going to the Beyonce concert with Gina!”

Rosa squints her eyes at him. “How’d you know that?” she asks.

Charles puffs his chest out. “I’m a detective, of course,” he says, taking a sip of coffee. Rosa stares him down for a few seconds before he deflates. “Okay, okay! Gina told Jake and Jake told five-drink Amy and five-drink Amy told me! And I may have accidentally slipped it into the Boyle weekly newsletter! Sorry, Rosa, but you and Gina would just be so cute together!”

Rosa sighs heavily. She grabs her coffee from the counter and drops a few crumpled bills in its place, swiftly turning around and heading out of the coffee place.

As soon as Rosa gets home, she decides to text Gina.

Rosa: u told jake we were going to the concert?? and he told amy who told charles who told everyone??

Gina: chill rosie

Gina: not my fault charles is a blabbermouth

Rosa: but u told jake?? who told amy who told charles??

Gina: i can tell jake bc he’s my best friend

Gina: can’t blame him for having a big crush on that amy girl he’ll tell her anything

Gina: and when that girl gets drunk she can literally do anything

Gina: can’t wait for the concert tho

Rosa: it’s not a date!! why is everyone saying it’s a date???

Gina: literally did not say that in any of my texts but okay

Rosa: no!! charles thinks it’s a date!!! so now everyone does!!!!!!!

Gina: ur using way too many exclamation points n it’s scaring me

Gina: if u don’t want it to be a date then it doesn’t have to be

Rosa: oh my god all i wanna do is see beyonce

Gina: yeah with me i know

Rosa: no!!!! who said that!!!! stop listening to charles!!!!

Gina: okay okay rosa chill okay?? ur really scaring me with the exclamation points

Gina: don’t murder anyone okay

Rosa: fine whatever but i’m THIS close

Gina: so ur still coming to the concert with me tho right

Rosa: fine

Rosa’s phone dings with a new notification. With irritation, Rosa reads it to see a new email from Amy. And then without knowing why, Rosa taps on it and opens Amy’s email.

And then she’s hurling a knife at the wall because Amy’s forwarded her an article that Charles has written on Rosa and Gina’s relationship. There is a whole paragraph about “unseen sexual tension” and then another on “what their babies would look like.” The email is signed off with a long apology from Amy.

Evening doesn’t come soon enough. Rosa’s already slightly tipsy by the time Gina comes to pick her up.

“This is my nice leather jacket,” Rosa mumbles as she opens the door, remembering Gina’s comment about wearing something nice.

“Are you drunk?”

“Did you read Charles’s article?”

“I don’t read those. I’m too dignified.”

Rosa lets out a strangling noise from her throat. “Yeah? Well, so am I, but that article is a ton of bullshit! Why is everyone all up in our business?”

“Oh, Rosie.” Gina pats Rosa’s arm a few times. “Drink this.” She thrusts a water bottle into Rosa’s hand. “You gotta sober up, girl! Or else you won’t remember the truly thrilling experience of going to a Beyonce concert with Gina freaking Linetti!”

Rosa chugs down about a fourth of the water bottle before looking hesitantly at Gina. “Why am I doing this?” she mumbles.

“Seeing Beyonce? Because it’s an experience, Rosa. And it’s the best thing ever, okay? You can’t back out now, so let’s go!” And with that, Gina tugs Rosa out of the apartment.

The car ride goes by quickly. Rosa ends up finishing the rest of the water, and by the time they get to the concert, she can feel her senses coming back to her.

Gina drags her through the line at the entrance, flashing the concert tickets at the security guard. “I’m also a celebrity, so I get in anyways,” she preens.

“That’s not true,” Rosa mutters under her breath. She tries not to think about Gina’s fingers digging into her wrist as they walk into the filled concert venue.

Somehow, Gina manages to get them to the front (It has a lot to do with Rosa’s intimidating aura, but Gina will claim that it’s because of her celebrity status).

And then Beyonce Knowles gets on stage and everyone goes completely wild. Maybe it’s the blinding lights or the wind that rushes through the room from the big fans or because of the alcohol still in her system, but Rosa’s feeling the ecstasy in the place as well.

Beyonce’s singing some song that Rosa knows she’s definitely heard but Rosa’s attention isn’t fully on Beyonce. Her gaze is fixed to Gina Linetti, the other popstar in the room. And she’s watching how happy Gina looks when her own lips turn upwards and a smile blossoms to her face.

Gina’s eyes dart to Rosa for a moment before returning to Beyonce. And then she notices that Rosa’s not watching Beyonce, and she turns back to Rosa. “What are you doing!” Gina says loudly. “You should be watching Beyonce!”

“Mhmm,” Rosa mumbles under the music. She halfheartedly looks to the stage. When Rosa’s sure that Gina’s attention is transfixed to Beyonce, Rosa sneaks a look at Gina again. Gina’s mouthing the words to Beyonce’s song now.

And then someone pushes next to Gina and Gina momentarily loses her balance, stumbling right into Rosa’s arms. Rosa’s eyes widen in response as Gina looks up at her, breathless. “Good catch, Rosie,” Gina says and returns her gaze to Beyonce.

But Rosa’s eyes never leave Gina. Not when she stops Gina from attempting to join Beyonce on stage and not when Beyonce dives into the crowd and everything seems to go loud and fluorescent. Not until the very end of the concert, when she loses Gina in the crowd for a minute when Gina scurries after Beyonce to get a selfie.

And then she can’t find Gina, even though people are making way for Rosa (because she’s scary, you know) and she’s calling Gina’s name in desperation.

Rosa finally gives up and somehow heads out of the venue, towards where Gina’s car is parked. She leans on the hood for a minute before her legs get tired and she jumps up to sit on the hood of the car.

“Rosa!”

She looks up to the sound of her name being called and sees Gina trying to run/limp towards the car with a single heel in her hand. Rosa slides off of the hood of the car and rushes over to help Gina to the car.

Instead of getting in the car, Gina sits on top of the hood and pats the empty area next to her. “Sit,” she says, so Rosa joins her. Gina starts unstrapping her other shoe, so Rosa idly stares out to the night.

“How was the concert?” Gina asks a beat later. Both of her shoes dangle from one hand.

“Huh? Yeah, it was good,” Rosa says.

Gina frowns. “You’re a liar,” she decides.

Rosa stares at Gina. “What?” she asks with disbelief in her voice. “It was Beyonce. Of course it was good.”

“It was Beyonce! It was fucking fantastic! Amazing! Unbelievable! Not just good,” Gina says. “And you weren’t even watching half the time. Yeah, Diaz. When you stare at me and think I don’t notice, I do notice. Ugh, wait till we go see Rihanna.”

“I don’t wanna make this a whole thing,” Rosa says hurriedly, preparing to get off of the car. Gina’s arm flies out in front of Rosa’s chest, abruptly stopping her.

“You don’t, but I do.”

Rosa looks at Gina with a bewildered expression on her face. “What?” she asks carefully.

“C'mon, Rosa! We both know that if we joined forces, we could take over the world! While holding hands and locking lips!” Gina says, rolling her eyes at Rosa’s expression.

“What?”

“You are an actual idiot. I thought you were a detective. Yet, here I, Gina Linetti, sit, trying to explain the most basic concept to an allegedly smart detective,” Gina sighs. “You like me. I like you. Wanna make out?”

“What about everyone at the precinct―”

“Blackmail files? Uh, duh! And my naturally beautiful and intimidating aura combined with your terrifying presence is sure to make them all shut up,” Gina reasons. “What do you say, Rosie?”

“I don’t know? Kiss me?” Rosa says.

So Gina does, and it turns out to be a great night.

[jungkookienoona]

The Meme and His Tutor

Part 30: The Day The Surprise Was Revealed

Co-written with @tragicshadows

Recommended Song: DNA by BTS

|All Chapters|Masterlist|

Summary:

The wait is finally over.

Genre: Fluff, comedy

Pairing: Jungkook X Reader (Y/N)

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count:  3579

Length: 30/?

You woke with a yawn and languidly stretched before rubbing your eyes and sitting up. Once again you had woken up feeling refreshed after Jungkook had sang you to sleep. Getting out of bed, you stumbled into the kitchen while trying not to trip over the mess that was the floor. Since being accepted into university, you'd began packing for real. Boxes and bags were everywhere you looked.

Jungkook had suddenly gained some extra free time. Something about your surprise being ready so he no longer has to suck up to Bang PD-nim. Excitement had been bubbling up inside you for days after you found out. You thought you were going to burst! Yet, you still didn't have a damn clue what he had planned. You hoped to god it was a visit. Scenarios of him turning up outside your door had replaced your nightmares. It was cruel of fate to put such distance between you when your relationship had just begun.

You took a seat at your kitchen table, resting your head in your hands as you waited for a mug of milk to heat up in the microwave and a slice of toast to pop out of the toaster.

The words 'I miss you' couldn't even describe how you felt towards Jungkook any more. It was more than that. Skype calls were no longer enough to satisfy your need to see him. You wanted to hold him again. To hug him, kiss him, share a bed and watch anime with him. You wanted cute outings and coffee shop dates. But you couldn't have that while you were in different countries.

It hurt.

The ding of the microwave almost made you fall out of your seat in shock. Taking a deep breath to calm your racing heart, you went over and took out your milk. Once the toast was complete, and you'd buttered it, you went back to your bedroom and took a seat at your desk. You were waiting for an email from the accommodations team about where you would be spending a year of your life. You really hoped you got a room on campus with good housemates. And an en-suite.

You tucked into your breakfast as your laptop booted up. The whirling of the fans had steadily been growing louder over the past few days and was making you worry. You really couldn't afford a new one at the moment. And your laptop was your precious baby, it was full of your memories. You urged it on, tapping the keyboard gently and let out a cry of joy when it finally showed your sign-in screen.

After logging in, you navigated to your emails. Since results day you were regularly receiving news from different companies and services. If your university wasn't trying to update you on progress, some clothing brand was trying to convince you to 'stock up on uni essentials'! But living by yourself meant you already had all the essentials.

Refreshing the page, since it didn't do it automatically sometimes, you were met with an email entitled ‘Congratulations’... from a Korean university. What? You opened the email, mouth falling open in shock at it the header that greeted you.

'Congratulations on your acceptance to Seoul National University! Here's what to do next...'

Again, what? That couldn't have been right. You double checked your name. Yep, there it was clear as day. But you didn't apply to any Korean universities. You couldn't afford the move or living costs- Suddenly, something Jungkook said after his fashion show echoed through your thoughts.

'Cause you always get mad at me when I spend a lot of money on you.'

'I promise a lot more love went into this surprise than money.'

Your lips quirked into a smile as you chuckled in disbelief. Ha! What did that mean? That he applied for a Korean university on your behalf and now you had been accepted? He wouldn't...would he? Then again even when you first started giving him tutoring sessions he was on about you studying in Korea. After that, he brought it up on both occasions you visited the country...

You scrolled down the page and skim read the advertisements for events happening at the university before the term started.

There was a link, the text above it reading 'View My Profile'. You clicked it and were taken to a log in page. Fuck. You needed to call the little shit of your boyfriend and find out if what you were assuming was correct or if this was some strange prank. You opened up the Skype app on your phone and immediately entered into a call with him. It took a couple of rings before he answered. His hair was messy and forehead kind of sweaty. You could see gym equipment in the background. He had been working out.

"Noona?"

"Am I being pranked?" He frowned, confused, so you continued, "I have an email from Seoul National University saying I've been accepted-"

"You got in? Fuck yeah!"

His whole face lit up while yours stayed serious.

"Jeon Jungkook. Am I being pranked or did you actually apply to fucking university on my behalf?!"

"I promise it's not a prank." He ducked his head, his free hand going to the back of his neck. "It's just... I know how much you want this job, Jagi. And even you said studying over here would speed up the process. There would be so many more opportunities available to you and the university would probably have connections...and we get to be together..."

You couldn't hold on to any of the anger that had initially built up. He was just trying to help and close the distance between the two of you. But there was still one thing.

"How am I going to afford it? I doubt the government will pay my student loan internationally. And then there's the visa and finding somewhere to live. Not to mention the living costs..."

He smirked, "I'm way ahead of you Jagi."

You gestured for him to explain.

"The way this will work is kind of a two way deal and it's completely up to you if you want to go through with this, okay? There's no pressure." He paused and you nodded in understanding. "I spoke to Bang PD-nim a few months back and came up with the idea that BigHit would fun your university course and accommodation costs, if you would tutor the other members and the trainees English."

Was that why he had been so busy sucking up to Bang PD-nim? To get him to agree to basically sponsoring you?

"That sounds fair... but what about daily living?"

"I'm giving up a percentage of my earnings so that it can go towards you as an allowance instead.”

You pressed your lips into a firm line and shook your head. "Kookie...that's your money. I can't let you give up some of your earnings-"

"Noona, I hate saying this, but I have too much money. I don't need it. I don't need the expensive clothes and shoes and accessories..." You watched as he tilted his head slightly with a smile. "But I need you. I love you and I want to do this for you."

You couldn't help smiling back. "I love you too. I can't believe you've done all this for me. I'm not that special."

He huffed. "Not true. You're very special. You're my Noona, my tutor, my friend and nae sarang (my love)."

"Thank you," you mumbled around the lump forming in your throat. Fuck. He always made you so emotional. "Really, thank you so much Jungkook."

"So...that's a yes?"

You sniffled as your eyes became teary.

"Of course, pabo."

He smiled brightly, jumping up and down on the spot. "I'll finally be able to hold you again! I'll be able to see you whenever I want! Ah, I can't wait! So don't cry Noona."

Another sniffle.

"I'm crying because I'm happy."

He giggled, throwing his head back for a moment before looking back to you with a grin so wide it looked comical.

"Good. That's the only time I ever want to see you cry, when you're happy."

"But they're gonna get puffy and I still have to tell my family and Chubs," You said while wiping your eyes.

He nodded. "Call me back once you've done that. I'm sure the members will want to know."

"Will do. And thank you...again."

He blew you a kiss with a wink. "Anything for you. Enjoy your day, Noona."

You blew a kiss back and waved, "See you later, then."

With that you ended the call, leaning back in your chair and staring at your laptop screen. A part of you was still processing the day's turn of events and it wasn't even the afternoon yet.

Placing your phone aside, you turned your gaze back to the email that started it all. A grin slowly took over your features as you read it again. You'd have to ask Jungkook for the log in details later on so you could review your application and learn more about studying there.

Who would you call first? Your mum or Chubs? You pondered on it for a little while before deciding that your mum deserved to know you would be leaving the country first.

You opened your contacts, thumb hovering over the call button beside her name. How did you word it? Barely an hour ago you were going to the uni you'd dreamed of attending, and now you were flying thousands of miles away to study.

Fuck it. There was no way of describing it in a way that didn't make it seem surreal. You'd just have to come out and say it straight. Tapping the call button, you brought your phone up to your ear and waited patiently for your mother to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me."

There was a pause. "Oh! Y/N! Sorry, I didn't recognise your voice for a second."

You scowled. "Didn't you check the caller ID before answering?"

"...No... but you hardly ever call. What's the occasion?"

You ran a hand through your hair and sat back in your seat. Here went nothing.

"I'm moving-"

"Well, obviously-"

"To Korea. I'm moving to Korea."

There was a beat of silence. Then she spoke.

"What? What about uni? Are you giving it up for that boy?"

"No. Of course not. I'm going to uni there."

She hummed in understanding. "I don't remember you applying for a Korean university."

"That's because I didn't. Jungkook applied on my behalf as a surprise."

Another bout of silence.

"That's... that's strange."

You glanced down at your lap where you fiddled with a thread on your pyjama top.

"I think it's sweet..." You explained how BigHit would pay for everything if you would let them hire you as a tutor.

"That's not the point, Y/N. You've only known this Jungkook for 6 months and he's already making you move to the other side of the world! That's not right!"

"He gave me a choice!" You said raising your voice. "I'm not doing it for him. I'm doing it for me, my education, my future career!"

"But... it's so far away... what about your family."

You sighed. "I need to make my own way through life. Do you know how hard it is to escape the shadows of 4 older siblings? I'll do whatever it takes to make my life in this family worth noticing."

The past anger from your childhood raised it's ugly head. The jealousy towards your older siblings who were always celebrated while you were forgotten.

"Y/N..."

"Don't. It's too late for whatever you're about to say. I forgave you because I wanted a relationship with the little ones, to make sure you weren't treating them like you were treating me. At least I can say thank you for being decent to them."

More silence. You hated the silence.

"I'll Skype after I leave, I don't want them missing me too much. And I'll try to stay in touch with Daniella and James. The other two will remain out of my life but you don't care since those two aren't your kids."

"And what about me?"

You shrugged despite her not being able to see. "Someone has to set up Skype for the children. Please don't fuck them up. They deserve better."

"... Okay... Just please... Make sure this is what you want and be safe."

"I will. Bye Ma."

With that you hung up. Was it really that hard for her to be happy for you for once?

You groaned loudly, taking off your glasses and pressing the heels of your palms into your eye sockets. You stayed like that for a minute to let all your emotions disperse until you were ready to call Chubs. You already knew she wouldn't give you a hard time; she wasn't like that. Taking a deep breath, you once again went through your contacts and tapped on Chubs. The phone barely rang once before she picked up.

"Hey...everything okay? You never usually ring."

"You'll never believe what Jungkook's surprise turned out to be."

You swore you heard her squeal in anticipation. "What did he do?!"

"He only went and applied to a Korean uni without me knowing and set up living arrangements for me in Korea. And, I got into the fucking uni!"

A beat of silence passed. "Are you fucking serious?!"

"Dead."

You nearly threw your phone when she screamed, practically deafening you.

"Yah! I like my hearing thank you!"

"I'm sorry!" She yelled. "I just can't believe- no, I take that back. I can believe it."

You chuckled. "I don't know what I'm going to do with him."

"First things first, explain everything to me."

"So apparently after my last visit Jungkook has been working his ass off to convince BigHit to pay for my tuition and accommodation. He managed to strike up a deal where they would as long as I tutored their idols in English. And he's also giving up part of his pay so I'll have a living allowance!"

She gasped. "Woah~ That's insanely generous of both Jungkook and BigHit. I bet you didn't quite know what to say."

"I teared up a bit. The idiot always makes me cry...in a good way."

"Any ideas on how you'll thank him yet?"

You took a moment to try and think of something. But your mind kept coming up blank. It was such a big gesture on his behalf that you couldn't match.

"Uuuh... not really..."

"I have a suggestion."

"Uhm, okay..."

There was a second of silence before she yelled, "SUCK HIS DICK!"

You chuckled awkwardly. "It's too soon for something like that... And stop suggesting that I suck his dick. That's your answer to everything."

"Only because it's a guy's answer to everything." You could almost hear her smirking down the line. "I'm just saying..."

"I don't think so, Chubs. If you'd spent the first few months of your relationship thousands of miles apart from your boyfriend would you suddenly suck his dick when you meet him again?"

"..."

"Oh my god! Seriously?!"

You could practically hear her shrug. "You've been together for two months. I'd say that's been a long enough wait."

You groaned. "You're impossible."

"You love it. You'll miss me when you're gone."

Tears began to form in your eyes as you were reminded of the friends you'd be leaving behind.

"I'll still message you over KKT. And I'll Skype you at least once a week!"

You hoped she couldn't hear how strained your voice was.

"Don't cry or you'll set me off!" She sniffed. So much for hiding it. "I'll miss dodging your attacks when you try to hit me for calling you cute."

"Now I'm going to have to deal with a muscle pig calling me cute!"

She chuckled, sniffing some more. "But you also get to cuddle your precious BunBun whenever you want. Instead of being thirteen hours away via plane, he'll be a short car drive or walk away."

"Oh god, I'm gonna end up being suffocated aren't I? He was very cuddly before we were even dating so I can only imagine how much more so he'll be..."

She awed loudly down the phone.

"He'll probably want to make up for the past two months. You make sure you give him cuddles. I don't want him messaging me saying he's deprived or something."

You shifted slightly in your seat. "I don't know if I'll be able to share a bed with him again now that I know that he knows I write stuff that isn't innocent."

She sighed. "All sucking dick jokes aside, I'm sure you'll find your own pace. It's not like you'll be living together."

Living together? Well he hadn't exactly said you'd be living separately...

"But what if we will be?!"

Chubs hummed in thought. "You said they would pay for accommodation, and I'm sure that doesn't mean in the dorm. And I highly doubt Jungkook would move out. So maybe you'll be in a university dorm. Or maybe have your own apartment!"

That was something. Though you had to admit, the thought of staying in a dorm where there was a high likelihood that no one spoke your first language terrified you. You were still learning Korean after all. You secretly prayed to have an apartment in that moment.

"Anyway," Chubs continued, noticing you'd gone quiet. "Don't worry too much. I'm sure he'll reveal all the details to you soon enough."

"He better because I'm not going to Korea unprepared."

She chuckled. "That's the last thing you need. I'm sure he'll tell you, one surprise is enough."

"I'm wondering how he comes up with these elaborate plans."

"Hmm, maybe the members help him out. To be honest, I didn't expect him to be so romantic when you told me all he's done for you.”

You chuckled because honestly, neither had you... but then again you didn't think he loved you until he kissed you in the airport.

"I'll ask him tonight about my accommodation. I want to know everything before I go. Although I doubt he'll tell me everything since he likes surprises and all."

It was her turn to chuckle, "True. I have to go now, I need to go to work."

You sighed, "You're always working."

"I know. But at least now I have a reason to save up so I can come visit you."

"Save up for uni instead! I'll see you later okay? I won't be leaving the country just yet."

"We'll have to do something before you go."

You agreed then hurriedly said goodbye as she desperately had to leave.

Hanging up, you got up and flopped onto your bed, feeling exhausted. Rolling your head to the side you eyed the cardboard box on your nightstand that you had been packing books into to take to university. You'd probably have to go through almost everything you already organised again since you weren't sure what you could even take to Korea with you. But then again, if you got your own apartment you could pretty much take everything with you. Not like you were in the position to leave much behind in the first place. You'd have to ask him. There was too much you didn't know to make any decisions yet.

You led there beside your shark plushie from the aquarium, staring at the ceiling and wondering how the fuck Jungkook had managed to keep the surprise from you for so long. You were still trying to process it. You might have told some people the news already but that didn't mean it had sunk in.

Jesus fuck, you were going to Korea. Finally close to Jungkook.

How would it change the dynamic of your relationship…? Maybe that's why you had the sex talk a month ago... maybe he was planning to take the next step when you arrived. Oh god. You weren't ready for that. A squeal slipped through your lips as you rolled over and pressed your face into the shark's belly.

Flashbacks to your time in Korea filled your head and made your chest clench in excitement. Being friends had come so naturally to the two of you, even when the distinct line of platonic love blurred and you'd wake up cuddled up together with only a cushion separating your bodies. Being in a relationship and together shouldn't be any different.

Your fingers ghosted over your lips as you tried to remember the sensation of being kissed by him. That was definitely one thing that would be different, no doubt about that. And with your elbow all healed he wouldn't have to help you change. Or feed you. God, you hated being spoon-fed. Though you let him, knowing that he was only trying to look after you and treat you as a Princess or a Queen...and now you were a Goddess. That's how you suggested he'd treat his girlfriend if you, a friend at the time, were royalty. You hoped he'd forgotten and didn't start calling you it. Kitten was enough. Well, Kitten, Jagiya and Noona was enough. You hoped he would stick to those three nicknames.

You sighed as anxiety and excitement battled it out in your tummy. You got the feeling their little war would last until you were finally reunited with Jungkook again.

A/N: So we’ll be taking a two week break as I need to focus on my uni work for a bit and @tragicshadows will be going on vacation with her family. We’ll be back as usual on the 1st November!

This work of fiction is copyright © JungkookieNoona and protected under UK and international law. All rights reserved. Any unauthorised broadcasting, copying or reposting will constitute an infringement of copyright.

[le-sejour]

Folly

Words: 1383

Pairing: some very slight Thomas Jefferson x Reader

World: Modern/College AU

Warning: cursing, mentions of furry porn, seductive turtle, Theatre Kid! Alexander, vague to no plotline: just actual stupidity w some romance if you squint

Prompt: Inspired by real chats and true events. One of my greatest friends seriously makes me think of a modern day Alexander Hamilton... Also, he’s a gold mine of hilarious fuck ups and I’m glad I’m there to witness it.

A/N: sweats I’M WORKING ON THE ORGY FIC, ASSUMPTIONS PT2 aND UNDER ARREST I SWEAR I JUST NEEDED TO GET THIS OUT OF MY SYSTEM and also to let u know i’m still alive LMAO

Enjoy~

MacNCheezy: Hey, doll

You: Yes, T?

MacNCheezy: You wanna make $10?

You: I’m not selling drugs for you, Thomas.

MacNCheezy is typing…

Pulling your [h/l] [h/c] hair into a low ponytail, you laughed as the chat window informed you that Thomas was writing and rewriting his response. It was amusing to see him flustered, even if you couldn’t actually see him. The thought of his indignant huffing and puffing was enough to brighten the already shitty day you’ve just had.

Thomas stared into his phone with disbelief. Here he was, genuinely trying to help a friend out (he’ll end up benefiting from this anyway, but, shh) and you were being impudent! The nerve of some people, honestly.

You: Oh, you would know a lot about the drug market, wouldn’t you, sweetheart?

He considers on sending the message then and there, but knew you would jump at the opportunity to Fight™ so he quickly types in his initial intentions.

But your connection to sketchy trades is not why I’m here. I have a commission for you.

ItsKittenBitch: Oh? Yknow I’d rather fuck a cactus than get into bed w you, baby boo.❤️ 

ItsKittenBitch: Besides, $10 is cheap, even for a corner street hooker. 

ItsKittenBitch: Up your game, Teej, and I’ll maybe consider holding ur hand. 😘

The mocaccino incarnate drags his hand over his face in irritation. Why was he asking you again? Oh, right, you were actually more tolerable than the squad you liked to hang around. And also Jemmy was still too sick to help him out.

You: Will you be serious for once, [F/Name]? I’m in a tight spot.

You rolled your eyes as your fluffy haired friend described the situation to you. He lamented over how he had to take care of James while he was swamped with papers for his major and his part-time gig at a local online publication.  

You: So you’re basically asking me to be a ghostwriter for a ghostwriter? 👀 👀

MacNCheezy: Yes, [F/Name], that’s exactly what I’m asking you to do.

You: What do I get out of it?

MacNCheezy is typing...

You: I’m kidding, Thomas. Don’t get your hair curlers in a notch. 

You: I know I get $10 for 500 words. I’ll do it. 

You:  But I’m also expecting ice cream and mac and cheese for this.

MacNCheezy: If you wanted a date that badly, you should’ve just asked, sugar. 😏

You: e w, can you not with the emojis, old man? 😩 You trying to be cool is just... sad. 😔

MacNCheezy: Just give the article to me in 3 or so hours, or you’re not getting ice cream. 

MacNCheezy: I hear the parlor down the street is having two-scoop Tuesday and it would be a terrible shame for us to miss it.

You: I can get ice cream on my own, ya kno

MacNCheezy: I know for a fact you like being treated to free ice cream because you’re broke, [F/Name].

You: di s gu st i ng. You exploit my weakness for free food.

MacNCheezy: See you in 3 or so hours, sweetheart. 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 ☺️ 😊 😇 🙂 🙃 😉 😌 😍 😘 😗 😙 😚 😋 😜 😝 😛🤑 🤗  😎 🤡 🤠 😏 

You: s T O p 😫😤

It’s been two hours since you’ve been click-clacking away on your laptop, and after agreeing with yourself that you’ve written a decent first draft, you decided to take a break. Drawing one knee up to your chest, you pulled up your web browser and logged onto your Facebook.

Alenhamner Cameltoe: yo [N/Name]!

You: sup non stop kids bop

Alenhamner Cameltoe: I just thought of something

You: wooooah there slow down don’t hurt urself Alex

Alenhamner Cameltoe: Blatantly ignoring that comment fueled by self-hate

I realized why they changed the plot of Anastasia for the stage play.

You: Uh... they did?

Alenhamner Cameltoe: They did.

Rasputin isn't the villain. It's Ramin Karimloo as a violent Bolchevik.

You: huh. Why’d they do that?

Alenhamner Cameltoe: Because...

In the animation, and this was okay for the 90s, right?

Rasputin hates the Tzar over a power struggle so he casts some magic to make the people unhappy and revolt so they kill the Romanovs.

Basically the entire Russian Revolution is because a wizard got mad.

Not because of oppression. Not because of Imperialism..

But because a wizard got mad.

You stared at the screen in slight amusement. Looks like Alex was in his rant days. (You also suspected he was hopped up on several cups of coffee, but you’d let John worry about that.) You shook your head and clicked back to your word document to begin proofreading your piece. You’ll just let him continue to flood your inbox and read over it when he’s done.

After a few minutes of complete silence sans the clacking of your keyboard, you finally realized Alexander had finished telling his story. You read over your piece to make sure it was to your satisfaction before maneuvering back to Facebook.

Alenhamner Cameltoe: So it paints the Romanovs as the heroic victims of this story.

Nowhere does it mention why they were killed and what atrocities were comitted by the aristocracy on the Russian working class.

The plot actually won't hold up today.

Today's audiences wouldn't actually approve of a story like that.

... also you get awesome historical reference lyrics like this.

LINK

The original animation, if released today would be criticized for historical revisionism.

The link opened to another site. You didn’t bother checking the url because it was probably a lyric site or youtube, so you casually scrolled through your newsfeed while it loaded.

A couple of cat videos and a bunch of overused memes later, you found yourself switching to the fully loaded tab.

Boy, you wish you hadn’t because what the fuck.

On your screen sat an anthropomorphic t u r t l e in a very suggestive pose giving you very real, very unnerving bedroom eyes. Chills ran up and down your spine as you checked the url, horrified at learning it was a fucking furry site. 

What the fuck, Alexander.

Hastily, you clicked out of that website before going back to your chatbox. You rechecked the site he gave you, wondering if you somehow misclicked. But no, there the link was, bright as day. To a fucking porn site for furries.

You: WhaT thE fU c K, Ha  mi lt o n

Alenhamner Cameltoe: I KNOW RIGHT?! 

The play might be even better than the animation! 

Wait, what am I talking about? Of course the play is already better by comparison because it plays to a more historically accurate context.

You stared at the screen in confusion. Wait, so... he wasn’t pranking you...? Then that meant...

You: yo if yall wanna be furries das fine w me

Alenhamner Cameltoe: Huh?

You: but keep your porn away from me

Alenhamner Cameltoe: ???

!!!!!!!!!

WAIT NO

THAT’S FURRY PORN

REAL LINK

THIS IS ANASTASIA

You: yo I won’t judge ur weird sexual fetishes, boi. Just make sure it’s safe, sane, and consensual.

Alenhamner Cameltoe: NO!!!

NO THAT’S NOT MINE!

THAT’S A PRANK I PLAYED ON JOHN

GOD DAMN IT I RUINED MY HISTORICAL REVISIONISM RANT

You: L M A O

Greatest fails

Alenhamner Cameltoe: I was trying to gross him out for leaving his goddamned turtles out of the cage again.

You: congrats. you only played yourself. 😂 

Anyway I gotta go furry boi, Thomas owes me ice cream and mac and cheez

Alenhamner Cameltoe: I’M NOT A FURRY

THAT WAS FOR JOHN!

FOR JO H N !

Cackling madly, you logged off of Facebook. You pulled up your email account and forwarded your finished article to Thomas. Eh, you didn’t bother to proofread it a last time because you knew Thomas would be anal enough to go through it and edit it himself.

ItsKittenBitch: It is I, your savior, telling you that I have sent the feature to your email and demand compensation.

ItsKittenBitch: Now get off your ass and get ready for our date before I change my mind, old man. JemBuns will understand.

Thomas’ triumphant smirk melted into a fond smile as he pocketed his phone, handing James a fresh box of kleenex before getting ready.

[jake-guentzel-59]

Shoot your Shot Part 2 - Auston Matthews

I didn’t think i would get this part up today because I’m busy with packing and moving for college but I had some spare time. Sorry again for the lack of Auston in this one. I do believe that he is in this one more but I’m working on part 3 now and I can say he’s in most of that one. Also I’m pretty sure it’s going to have more than 5 parts. I don’t know how many yet though. Words: 1773 Warnings: Cursing, I think that’s it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first two periods were going great, for Toronto fans. Yes, I was wearing a Toronto jersey but you always have to go for your favourite team and right now mine was losing 2-1. Auston scored a goal and pointed in the direction of where me and Kenzie were sitting. She's convinced that he was pointing at me but I know he was just celebrating the goal. The teams were both out shooting around before the third period started. Kenzie had made me go and get her food because she had to stay and see if Auston looked for me. I think she is a bit naive to think he's actually looking at me. There's 100's of people here and about 40 around me for him to be looking at. He was probably looking at a friend or family member in the audience. I was making me way back with Kenzies' food, almost at our seats when all of sudden I feel the worst pain I have ever felt in my eye. I ended up dropping all of the food while grabbing my eye. Kenzie came running up to me asking if I was okay.   "I don’t know" I told her taking my hand off my eye seeing blood. Kenzie gagged at the site of my blood. She can't handle blood very well. "Oh my god! We have to get you to a hospital now, like right now!" She exclaimed, dragging me out of the arena and to her jeep "Put this on your eye and keep the pressure on it" She told me handing me a towel that one of the Leafs players gave her during the second period. "Are you sure? I don't want to ruin it on you." I asked her "You know, you're the only person I know that would rather bleed to death then ruin a god damn towel. Yes, I'm sure Logan! Now put it on your eye, I don’t want you losing an eye or anything."

We made it to the hospital in record time. I got in to see a doctor right away because it's an eye injury. The doctor came in to tell me about my eye and to fix it. "Now your eye is fine, no permanent damage to the eye itself. As for the outer portion of your eye, you're going to need stitches and you're going to have one hell of a black eye in the morning. What did you say happened to it again?" The doctor asked starting to stitch around my eye. "I actually don't kno-" Kenzie cut me off. "Her future husband was trying to hit a puck at the glass again but this time he hit it to hard and it went over the glass and hit her in the eye instead." Kenzie told the doctor. "Okay well he's not my future husband, I never even talked to him before." I explained. "Well if some hockey player shot a puck at the glass at my girl I would think he had a thing for her. But if he tried to do it again and hit her in the eye like this, I would defiantly say he wanted her attention" The doctor said laughing.   "See Logan! he gets its." She told me, trying to high five the doctor in the process. "Can't high five you right now. A little busy." He told her nodding towards my face. "Anyways, Kenzie did you call my dad?" I asked. "I didn't have to, he already knew. He's on the way, should be here soon." "How did he – Ouch-  know?" I said glaring at the doctor for hurting me "I think he was watching the game and saw it. Also, it's all over the internet already. You're basically a meme now." She said laughing "Great, that’s exactly what I wanted..."

The doctor finished with my stitches and I went to go look in a mirror. My eye was already getting a nasty bruise. It’s going to be some much worse in the morning. I can't lie though, all of the stitches and the black eye made me look like a bad ass if I'm going to be honest. "So how many stitches do I have?" I asked the doctor "17 in total, 8 on the one on the side and 9 on the one under your eye." He explained "You know what Log, you kind of look like a bad ass with your eye like that" "I was just thinking that." I told her laughing. "Alright well were done here, you'll have to come back in about a week/week and a half to get them out. I see you wear make-up so try and go make-up free until you get the stitches out. Or at least try from getting the make-up near your stitches." "Great more time for you to do my make-up!" Kenzie said a little to excitedly. I just rolled my eyes at her like usual. "Thanks for making me look like a bad ass doc!" I say as I'm leaving the room "Don't thank me, thank your future husband for hitting with that puck" He says laughing.

Kenzie was still laughing at the doctors comment while we waited for my dad. I called him to ask him where he was because I thought he would have been here a lot sooner. He ended up getting stuck in all of the traffic from the game. I pulled out my phone to text my friends we were supposed to meet to tell them that I wouldn't be there tonight and that we could it another night. They fully understood why I wouldn’t be there. Seeing as I never got to see how the game ended I decided to check twitter to see how they did. That was probably the biggest mistake ever. Somehow people found out who I was and were tweeting at me asking if I was okay, making fun of me, and sending me a bunch of memes of the puck hitting me. "While isn't this great..." I tell Kenzie as show her my twitter. She thought it was hilarious and went on her phone and retweeted a bunch of the memes. "Hey will you take a picture of my eye? I want to put it on Instagram."

It took her about 10 minutes to get the right picture. Apparently, the hospital had the worst lighting in the world and that’s why it took so long to get the picture. I say it was just her shitty picture taking abilities. My dad arrived right after she got a picture. Of course, he was freaking out and even went to go talk to my doctor. I told him everything the doctor told me but he insisted to go ask him and get told the exact same thing I told him. As soon as we made it home, and my dad stopped freaking out, I hopped in the shower and got ready for bed. I knew my eye was going to be sore tomorrow so I laid out some Advil and a bottle of water for the morning. I got under the covers and started scroll through some social media. Looking through the pictures Kenzie took I finally found one I wanted to post. Coming up with a caption is always the hardest part so I decided to keep it simple, 'Thanks for turning me into a meme and a bad ass all at the same time @auston_matthews'. After locking my phone and putting it on the charger, I went to sleep.

I woke up with the world's biggest headache. I took the Advil and laid back down until it went away or until it was more bearable. I checked my phone to see that it had blown up with notifications overnight. Most of them were from Instagram. Apparently having Auston Matthews, Mitch Marner and William Nylander follow you, and like and comment on your picture on Instagram does that.   '@auston_matthews: Sorry about the eye but it does make you look like a bad ass' '@marner_93: Not the way I would have picked to get a girl's attention Aus but Logan you really do look like a bad ass. Suits you.' '@williamnylander: Best looking bad ass I ever seen. Also, the memes about you are my favourite.'

I took a screenshot and sent it to Kenzie. She won't see it till later because that girl sleeps until like 2 in the afternoon every day. Seeing as it was only 830, I decided to go for a run. I got changed into my workout clothes, grabbed my headphones and headed out. There were a few people looking at me when I ran. It was either because of my eye or because they saw me all over the internet. Everyone looking at me got a bit uncomfortable so I decided to end my run early. I stopped by the café where Kenzie works first and got some breakfast. They have the best coffee and bagels in Toronto, I swear. It was about 930 by the time I started to head home. There was a car I never seen before in my driveway. My dad was already at work and Mads was at preschool so I didn’t know who it belonged to. The windows were a very dark tint so I couldn’t see who was driving so I knocked on the window and they started to open the door. I backed up to give them enough room to get out. It was Auston fucking Matthews. At my house. In my driveway. Standing in front of me. "Okay Logan say hi or hey or hello or anything. Don’t just stand there like an idiot. Of course, that’s exactly what you're going to do" I thought to myself just staring at him. Auston was the first to talk. "Hey, sorry about the eye and I hope it isn't weird that I showed up at your house" He said awkwardly as he scratched the back of his head "Not it's okay but how did you find out where I live?" I asked him "Well we have a friend of a friend in common and they told me when they saw it was you. I wanted to say sorry in person rather than over an Instagram comment. It felt more meaningful in person." "I understand, but thanks again, it isn't that big of a deal. I know you didn’t try to give me a black eye on purpose." I say laughing. "Well I still feel absolutely terrible for what I did. Is there anyways I can make it up to you?" He asked me "Actually, there is! Are you and a couple of the guys on the team busy today?"

[angry-healers]

Cool Group

So, I got roulette’d into Menagerie. Some people pipe up that they’re new, everyone’s fine with it, so off we go. We ended up wiping at the dps check, because the dps kept dying. Everyone’s still fine, a couple of things get explained, we try again.

I ended up having to heal lb3 because everyone was successfully dying, only to die myself, because the chain mechanic just loved me, I was still in the animation lock from that god damn lb, and whoever I was chained with wouldn’t…you know. MOVE AWAY? Got ressed, but we end up dying anyways, with the boss being pretty close to death. The group was basically: “We’re doing better”. This is where my memory gets iffy, because I can’t remember if we had 3 or 4 attempts. Anyways!

The chain mechanic came back, so I ran away from it, right? Then, I see that it’s not breaking. So I ran all the way to the back of the map. Nope, still there. Still outstretched from the middle of the map. So, I died to that (again). Got a res, and, alright. I own up to being an idiot and trying to run to the other corner of the giant aoe, but it happened right after I ressed, and typically when I get ressed, I’m more or less like that Mr. Krabs meme (you know, the one where he’s looking around in a panic, trying to get my shit back together), and I was pretty exhausted from even at the first attempt, so that really didn’t help. Anyways, I died again, and nobody tried to res me (well I understand why the cohealer didn’t try, they ressed me the first time, and they were trying to keep the others alive, but we had a smn/rdm too so…)

Anyways, we end up wiping because whm couldn’t keep everyone up. I should’ve told them to lb3, because everyone was slowly dying, anyways. According to the group, the chain didn’t break because we were going the same way? Not at the end, we weren’t. Unless I’m that blind.

Suddenly, the group’s mood shifts to “Sorry guys, gotta go”, someone trying to pass a vote abandon, then whoever did decided to just log out instead, think someone else left too, can’t remember. There was also a “Him moving back to same spot was retarded”, from the tank who was whining about lag, ironically, which had me just go, nope, fuck you all. Because…

Having to deal with the dps failing to avoid/handle mechanics correctly, or just fucking falling off of the platform, a laggy tank who dies due to lag, meanwhile, the group in general doesn’t seem to mind at all about any of those constant deaths.

Probably because they weren’t the ones who had to deal with it.

But no, I finally potentially fuck up, and I’m met with all of that bs?

Nah.

I can’t know for sure if they meant me when it came to the retarded comment, but since I was the cause of the wipe, I just assumed it was, for the next thing I said, before I left, which was along the lines of, “That one mistake, but everyone else can die all they want”.

I get that a healer dying is a lot worse than a dps, but I’m just amazed at how the reactions were when I was the one who finally bit the dust. When we weren’t even close to killing the boss, too. Meanwhile an almost clear is “We’re doing better”?!

You could say that a tank dying is bad too, espically in Menagerie, but nobody said a word about that!

Oh, and it was also funny that at one point, one of the tanks asked for heals pls while the whm was dead, like.

Give my ass more mp and we’ll see.

I hope they all left after that. /still bitter

(submitted by anonymous)

[energitix]

I bet by now you’ve heard about the AWS S3 outage. Somewhat ironically, at 17:47 last night I was watching a training video on Amazon Web Services (AWS) Simple Storage System (S3) best practices when the video stopped. The video service, hosted on AWS as you would expect, wouldn’t refresh so I decided to look up some AWS S3 documents instead. However, my browser displayed a HTTP 500 (service unavailable) from aws.amazon.com. It was highly unusual and thus unexpected. The AWS status page was showing a sea of green so, like anyone else looking for near-real time news, I searched Twitter for “AWS 500”. Was anyone else seeing this? Yes, but just a few people. I’d encountered what was the start of the “February 28th AWS US-East-1 S3 Increase Error Rates,” or the Twitter trend called “Amazon S3 Outage.”is it just me getting HTTP 500 from https://t.co/4OvzDj0RTd? http://pic.twitter.com/EsuPVGpu2s— UK Cloud Pro (@ukcloudpro) February 28, 2017Cue social media reactions: sarcastic meme-driven humor: “Oh my god the Internet is dead”; shrieking; gloating competitors; private cloud apologists; and anti-cloud ideologues.Amazon S3 according to the #AWS status page. http://pic.twitter.com/WpMAyHs0nY— David C. Campbell (@DCCampbell) February 28, 2017However, there is “signal” in this social noise and here are five important things to take away from the AWS S3 “event.”1. AWS wasn’t down, but US East 1 was “impaired”AWS is a global cloud service made up of 16 regions and counting. When people on Twitter shrieked “AWS is down!” this wasn’t true. The reality was that an important service in one region was impaired, but other regions were A-OK.Source: Amazon Web Services These regions are completely independent of each other, except for the special US-East-1 region which handles some global services. And inside each region you have multiple availability zones (AZ) which you can think of as datacenters. These datacenters are resilient with their own redundant power and connectivity, and they’re also connected to each other inside the region so that services like S3 can automatically replicate your data three times – giving you data durability of eleven nines. The standard availability of the S3 service is four nines.Source: Amazon Web Services What we experienced yesterday was the S3 service in the Region US-East-1 suffering from what AWS called “high error rates” and the service was impaired. Other regions were mostly OK, such as EU-West-1, but the US-East-1 S3 event had a wider “blast radius” because: When you create an S3 bucket and don’t specify a region, the default is US-East-1. US-East-1 is a special region, sometimes called a “global region,” because it’s the default endpoint for “global resources” such as hosted zones, resource record sets, health checks, and cost allocation tags. The S3 in US-East-1 is used by a lot of AWS services including the AWS Status Page and the AWS documentation. US-East-1 is huge (five AZs) and is older and more popular than other regions, running a lot of well-known online applications that use S3 to host their data. Therefore, the blast radius was very public on Twitter, with many companies explaining that their downtime was due to AWS. US-East-1 is in “spy country,” which will please the conspiracy theorists!Therefore, any impact to a core AWS service in a core AWS region like U- East-1 is likely to have a ripple-out service impact across a wide blast radius.2. Why did the S3 impairment in one region have such a big impact?S3 is sometimes referred to as “the storage for the Internet” because it’s used everywhere. Any object like a thumbnail or log record put into it is easily accessible over HTTP from anywhere. Your app doesn’t have to be running on AWS, it could be running in your datacenter and accessing S3 over the Internet.When Amazon S3 is down. #awscloud #awss3 http://pic.twitter.com/KQo4sVvkAl— Fernando (@fmc_sea) February 28, 2017S3 is the epitome of one of the core “essential cloud characteristics” from the NIST Cloud Standards: broad network access. It’s what makes AWS the public cloud leader. It also means that, because S3 is cheap and easy to use by any user with no special skills required, it’s used universally as the backing store for many trillions of objects serving millions of requests per second. Both AWS services and customer applications use S3, so it was like a house of cards even though other regions’ S3 was working fine.Source: ViewYonder Awkwardly, even the status indicators on the AWS service status page rely on S3 for the storage of its health marker graphics. And thus, during the outage the status page was showing all services as green despite the service being “impaired.” AWS did add a banner to the status page to explain why this was happening, and they did issue this tweet to keep customers informed.The dashboard not changing color is related to S3 issue. See the banner at the top of the dashboard for updates.— Amazon Web Services (@awscloud) February 28, 2017Twitter was awash with companies apologizing to customers for service degradation or outage, and looking at SimilarTech data – the number of sites they claim are running on AWS S3 is significant:Source: SimilarTech.com Interestingly home users were also affected with reports that parents couldn’t get Alexa to sing nursery rhymes to their children, i.e. failing to access Amazon Music, and home automation systems locking people in their homes (or into darkness).4. People don’t always use the redundant AWS servicesEven though there are multiple AZs in one region, and multiple regions across the world, not everyone uses these availability features for a range of reasons:Unknown dependencies on S3. An application running in one region can be accessing data from an S3 in another region across the Internet – it’s just a URL, and developers are known to hardcode filesystem paths and URLs into their code. As applications age, do developers keep track of where data is coming from? You would think so, but humans make mistakes and dependencies can accrue over time to create fragile applications.Cloud-immigrant applications. Within AWS, customers can deploy applications that are not cloud native and cannot benefit from “distributed computing” that multi-AZ and multi-regions offer. It might be an old, monolithic, and fragile COTS (commercial off-the-shelf) product that stubbornly sits in a “snowflake” virtual machine running the database locally. If this virtual machine is in a failing AZ or region, then it’s back to standard backup, restore, and disaster recovery scenarios. EC2 in the US-East-1 region was affected because many EC2 virtual machines use S3 for storage.Availability isn’t worth the cost. There are those that understand the technology but don’t want to pay for the extra resources such as multi-AZ databases, or pay for lots of snapshots, or pay for cross-region replication or many of the other HA/DR (high availability/disaster recovery) features AWS makes readily available. “That app isn’t worth the costs of availability” might be the view – but has this been really worked out? Which other applications rely on this application?This isn’t unique to cloud. For as long as IT has been around, people have chosen to save money on HA/DR, or not even known it was something they needed to consider. 5. “Knee Jerks” attempt to muddy the waterWhenever AWS has an issue there are a three types of commentator to surface on social media, what I like to call “Knee Jerks”:The AWS-bashing competitor: “AWS has an outage! Time to reconsider and use our cloud.” It’s unlikely that you will see Azure or Google bashing AWS but you might see an anti-cloud enterprise technology vendor or smaller, regional service provider naively bashing AWS during an outage. I don’t know any businesses that are impressed by competitor bashing.The hybrid/private cloud ideologues: “Public cloud places all your eggs in one basket and is flawed – use our hybrid cloud and hedge your bets.” Whatever people say hybrid cloud might be, and there’s no consensus or standard, it couldn’t do what S3 does. So this point is moot and shows a lack of understanding of modern Internet and cloud architectures.The anti-cloud on-premises techie: “If it was your own kit you’d be able to troubleshoot it yourself! Can’t do that in the cloud!” But this is the whole point of cloud – I don’t want to troubleshoot it myself! AWS has all the skills and know-how and resources I don’t have. This is usually a techie blinded by their fear of the cloud, who wants us to build IT systems in a shed at the end of their garden.It’s unlikely that anyone who understands AWS will pay any attention to this kind of rhetoric, but non-cloud-savvy business users might unfortunately be influenced by this kind of fear, uncertainty, and doubt.The calm after the stormEventually, AWS got it status page working and it didn’t look pretty, in fact it was commented on that some long-running cloud users had never seen this before. It’s quite a testament to AWS long-term reliability:Source: Amazon Web ServicesAWS will fix this issue and their service will return to normal (and will be by the time this is published). Then it will work out how to never have this particular issue/problem again – they have people like James Hamilton who live to find and solve these issues. And if you use AWS, then James is working for you.AWS will also produce a post-mortem and they are unique in leading cloud service providers in doing this – in my experience, many cloud service providers either don’t write outages up, or merely provide an exec-level generic blog piece. In the AWS post-mortem, we’ll find out what went wrong, how they fixed it, and what AWS is going to do better. And I’m certain that they will also tell their customers how they can do things differently too.Image CreditThe post 5 Things You Need To Know About The AWS S3 Outage appeared first on ITSM.tools.

https://itsm.tools/2017/03/01/5-things-aws-s3-outage/