#oh god I love my sewing machines oh god oh fuck

[sassmill]

I have the power of god and autism on my side

[dirt-str1der]

Im like giggling and shit thinking about how me and dante are going to be vashwood , finally the four fingers will have me date every member (remembers im the number one vashwood hater) oh no

[flamingoofeathers]

𝗦𝗪𝗘𝗘𝗧 𝗖𝗥𝗨𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗡' || 𝗕𝗥𝗜𝗗𝗚𝗘𝗧

pairings: bridget x fem!reader

summary: tired out of your mind, you confessed to Bridget.

genre: fluff

one-shot; wc: 1.2k

main masterlist bridget masterlist

a/n: i apologise for not posting yesterday but i did not feel well bc of the heat, like what the fuck, why is it so hot, but here i am with a one shot for the lovely Bridget, because i am down bad for this girl both the character and the actress, Ruby Rose Turner…the woman that you are.

It had been a long day or rather, a long week for you. Midterms were coming and you were panicking, studying never came easy for you, so you have to study twice as hard than everyone else to receive a passing grade, which caused you to cram all night long, with no sleep, while during the day, as student body president, you were required to patrol the halls and then di extra curricular activities, you didn’t have time to study at all during daylight.

By the end of the week, you were like a walking corpse, eye bag clinging to your under eyes, slouching not caring whether you were about to bump into something or someone.

Friday afternoon, walking to your after school club, dragging your feet with your eyes barely staying open, to others you look like zombie, some students looked at you with worry but none cared enough to actually help you that is until you bumped into a certain bubbly pink haired girl.

The sound of a falling metal tray startled you, watching the seen in front of you, you panicked when you saw a bunch of pink cupcakes on the floor, looking back at the girl, she just looked at at you horrified.

“Bridget! Oh my god, i am SO SO SORRY!” You said apologetically as you were about to lean down to grab the fallen tray and cupcake a hand grab at your forearms stopping you, you look up to see Bridget’s worried eyes.

“Y/n? Are you ok?” Bridget asked, you were confused as to what she was talking about.

“Yeah? Why?”

“Your eyes..” realising what she was talking about, you immediately pulled your arm away from her hand, grabbed the cupcakes and the tray before handing it back to her hurriedly.

“Im sorry again” you said before rushing away from, sudden burst of adrenaline from embarrassing yourself in front of your crush.

How can you forget about the eyebags surrounding your eyes, you almost look like Hook with his eyeliner from how dark your eyebags are.

After basically running to the fashion club, you were even more exhausted than before, causing you to poke yourself self while sewing a shirt, it would’ve been fine if it happened once or twice, but as the hour passed, the other members couldn’t help but look at you everytime you say “ow”.

“Y/n? You good, girl?” The club president asked, but you didnt hear her.

“Y/n? Y/n!” The president shook you wake when she noticed you actually had your eyes closed while using the machine.

“Wa-what?” You said blinking your eyes back open.

“Y/n, i think you should go get some sleep”

You fake chuckled “whaaat? Im fine, im totally awake” you said activating the machine again but your eyes began to close once more.

“Nope, you’re not, c’mon” the president said before grabbing you and dragging you out of the room with you mumbling protests, it was clear very very crystal clear that you were exhausted.

The president was silently scolding for not taking care of yourself but once you reached the courtyard, you felt as if you were handed to another pair of arms, much softer arms and mmmm they smell good too.

The only part you heard of their conversation was “i’ll take care of her” before you were once again dragged away.

You looked drunk from how much you were stumbling and babbling about being “super awake and super energised” you heard the person carrying you chuckle and you recognised it as Bridget’s laugh, but you didnt have the energy to even blush around her.

As she guided you back to your dorm, she scolded you about needing to manage your time better and taking better care of yourself which made you sulk a bit.

When you arrived in front of your dorm, you were already passed out in her arms, making it hard for her to ask you for the keys of your dorm so she checked your pockets and that made you giggle in your sleep.

"𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘭𝘦𝘴" you said murmuring.

Bridget chuckled opening your door. She guided you to your bed, making sure to lay you down carefully but what you said made her drop you to your bed but you didn’t even realise as you close your eyes snuggling into your blanket.

"𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙞 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩?" 𝘯𝘰. 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵.

The next day you woke up more active and aware of your surroundings, but what made you confused is why Bridget is talking to you and blush-y around you, not that you minded of course, you just don’t know why.

It went on for the rest of the day, she was happily talking to her, so she confronted her about it.

“Bridget, im sorry, why are you talking to me?” You said, and the girl suddenly looked confused and hurt.

“Not that i mind, of course, in fact i enjoy it a-lot, its just…you never really talked to me this much before, did something happen?” You defended immediately.

“Well, yesterday you said-“ she hesitated noticing the confused look on your face “ you know what, nevermind” she said smiling but you can see that it wasn’t a genuine one.

“Im just gonna go” she said attempting to leave but you grabbed her wrist.

“No, please tell me what i said yesterday” you were dreading to know what you said.

“Um, well….you said you liked me, but you were totally buzzed out yesterday so i understand that you didn’t really mean it, so no worries” she hurried say with nervousness in her voice.

“Oh. My. God. Bridget, i am so sorry, i didn’t want to confess that way.” You said blushing, embarrassed about your actions from yesterday “you know, you can totally reject me immediately, you don’t have to let me down slowly or whatnot, i don’t want to force you to hang out with me, just because you know i like you” you said apologetically.

“No, y/n, i li-“ Bridget said.

“You’re too kind that you cant even say it, oh my goddd, i totally get it, no hard feelings, you dont have to say it, im gonna go now so- yeah” you said turning around to leave.

The next thing you knew, lips were pressed against yours. Your eyes widen at the sudden situation, you saw Bridget with her eyes closed ACTUALLY kissing you.

'𝘰𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘥. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬' you thought and when the situation finally registered in your brain you kissed back and you felt her smile against your lips.

When you pulled away, you looked at her shocked “𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙪𝙪𝙪𝙘𝙘𝙠..." you whispered while touching your lips making her chuckle.

She grabbed both of your hands as she stepped closer to you.

“I like you too, silly” she said bashfully.

“Oh my god, you’re so cute” you said dazed making her blush.

“Aren’t you going to ask me?” Bridget said fidgeting with her hands.

“Ask you?” Youre brain was NOT working at all.

“To be your girlfriend?” She smiled shyful.

“Oh-“ you were short circuiting “oh!” you cleared your throat.

“Bridget, would you do me the honor of going on a date with me and becoming my girlfriend?” You smiled.

“YES! YES! YES!” She squealed hugging you “i’ve been dreaming of that question for so long”

"𝙞 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪"

[marzipanandminutiae]

I brought the skirt I'm working on to the museum yesterday, to get some hand-sewing done at the desk between tours (a lot of my projects end up being done half-hand and half-machine, because I love working on the train or during downtime at my various jobs). you know, the one made of the God-Tier WoolTM

when I invited my coworker, a 19-year-old student, to feel the fabric- in that "OH MY GOD FEEL THIS!!!" tone -her jaw dropped

she had never felt soft, light- or even medium-weight wool in her life. she previously thought, it turns out, that all wool was coarse, heavy, and itchy. she couldn't stop stroking it with that awestruck look on her face

truly, fuck fast fashion and the modern garment industry. for depriving us of sensory richness in our clothing so thoroughly that most of us don't even know what we've lost

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

I realise you're HE, but any thoughts on how high school level education should be run/changed/etc? I'd love to know your views!

Oh sure, plenty, but they're not particularly informed lol

Well; Wales is actually massively and fundamentally changing secondary education atm, but we won't be getting students from it until the year after next, I think, so no real comment on effectiveness yet - but it's very interesting. They're getting rid of isolated subjects in favour of broad umbrella areas, as I understand it? So there's now Science and Technology (Physics, Biology, Chemistry, Computing, and all the various DT subjects like Woodwork, Electronics, Cookery, etc), Maths and Numeracy, Humanities (History, Geography, Ethics, Religion), Languages Literacy and Communication, and Health and Wellbeing (actually maybe Cookery comes under this one now? Dunno.) And there's a sixth to do with arts but I can't remember what it's called. But it includes Art, Drama, Media Studies, etc.

And then the idea is that a class will learn about a given topic at a time (I don't know for how long, so let's say six weeks), and this will be taught in each of those six umbrellas but via their own methods. So like... I dunno, let's say the Tudors:

That's fairly straightforward for Humanities, but in addition to giving you the historical facts you'd also explore historic trade routes and natural resources of the time and how they related to the politics (geography), the religious make up of the country and how THAT related to the politics (religion), etc.

Maths and Numeracy might explore how to use statistics to analyse Tudor era population or trade data.

Science and Tech could look at disease outbreaks and virology, or technological advancements and how they worked and get students to build one, or get students to construct a Tudor-era town using computer software

Languages can study plays from the era (Shakespeare), look at linguistic development, or use historical events as talking points to practice using vocab in conversations

Health and Wellbeing can explore stressors and challenges of the average Medieval peasant and how they overcame them, or play some popular Tudor sport or game, or make food to Tudor recipes, etc

The Arts one (god I cannot remember the name) can look at art history of the period, fashions, perform plays, etc

So everyone is still teaching the skills and knowledge of their subject areas, they're just united by one big case study. It apparently allows for far more integrated teaching, too, where two previously discrete subjects can join forces on a project.

All of which seems pretty good, on the whole, but also rife with issues if everyone isn't careful, so we'll see how it shakes out over the next few years.

From my own experiences of school though. Jesus. Something definitely needed to happen, fuck me.

What I should have learned in Textiles:

How to use a sewing machine

How to sew by hand to mend a tear

How to darn a hole

How to hem, dart, take in, and let out clothes

How to sew from a pattern

What I actually learned in Textiles:

How to use a sewing machine on its most basic setting

How to phone in creating a hand puppet out of felt because gluing was easier than sewing

How to badly sew an extremely makeshift and shit bag out of scrap fabric that you in no way want to then use

How to lose all interest in Textiles because it was useless and uninteresting

Like that is a VITAL skillset-imparting subject, and they fucked it, lads, they completely fucked it. Why did they never set us the task of buying a cheap shirt from a charity shop that we then amended in class? That would have been so useful.

Games and PE! Fucking hell! Here's what I should have learned:

How to stretch my body safely to target specific muscle groups, and in particular, how to cultivate a daily stretching routine I enjoyed and wanted to do

How to find a physical activity active enough to get me out of breath that I genuinely enjoyed, so that I wanted to continue it, e.g. salsa dancing or rope climbing or ice skating or hill climbing or assault courses or fucking anything at all

How to build my body up to doing particular activities safely and sustainably

How to find a physical activity to do on wet, cold, rainy days that would still be fun and I would still enjoy

Here's what I actually learned:

Physical activity is always uncomfortable and miserable and sometimes even painful

If you aren't enjoying running around in the wind and rain instead of the indoor gym The Problem Is You. Start Enjoying It.

Wanting to stay warm and dry and comfortable is a punishable choice.

You are only permitted to do physical activity in clothes that make you feel profoundly exposed and uncomfortable (a gym skirt and gym knickers in my school. Cycling shorts got you detention. Don't get me started on jogging bottoms.) Again, if you do not enjoy this, The Problem Is You. Start Enjoying It.

There are only three activity options. If you don't enjoy any of them, physical activity is not for you.

You should be able to Just Do physical exercise, without any training to build you up to it. If you can't and it hurts, this is because you're Bad At PE.

You will only be shown Once

Physical activity is only ever a team sport that you aren't good enough to be willingly picked for

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

And you know what, LET'S round off with Food Technology/Cookery. Because I remember the things I was asked to make in FT. As a little baby Year 7, I still vividly remember two of the things we made.

Angel Delight. Easy, you might say! A simple treat, you might think! Easing the children into food prep, I hear you cry! But no, because the theme of the year was healthy eating, and so we were to add fruit to our Angel Delight. Any flavour Angel Delight, any fruit. Off you go. I don't know if any of you have encountered fruit, Tumblrs, but it famously has faintly acidic juice. This will prevent the Angel Delight from setting within the one hour lesson, no matter how well you mixed the pudding, or how quickly you got it into the fridge. It will result in soggy gross lumps of oxidising fruit in sloppy liquid pudding. Lesson learned: fruit makes food worse.

Cake. Easyish, you might say! A little harder than the Angel Delight but good training, you might think! A fairly straightforward process with a child-friendly food at the end, I hear you cry! But no, because the theme of the year was still healthy eating, so the teachers made it into an experiment; make four small cakes. One with sugar, one with sweetener, one with apple, and one with carrot. Then taste them and rank them in order. Off you go. I don't know if any of you have ever tried eating sugarless carrot cake, Tumblrs, but I have, and I can tell you categorically that it really puts the "Did you know" into the phrase "Did you know that fructose and sucrose are not actually equivalents of each other in a culinary setting?" It was rancid. It was disgusting. It was vile. It made me hate carrot cake for the next 12 years, in case my mouth had to go through that ordeal again. I'm still highly suspicious of the stuff even now. To (I assume) the surprise of fuck-damned no one, we unanimously put them in the order of sugar, sweetener, apple, carrot. Lesson learned: FRUIT MAKES FOOD WORSE AND CARROTS ARE ACTIVELY DISGUSTING

What possessed them?! No idea. Fucking hell.

Anyway this is getting long and I am still ill-informed. Peace out.

[dear-ao3]

Katya's chaotic enough that I regularly fool myself into thinking you're the sensible/normal one and then you go and post something and I realize my folly

oh yeah i’m a little unhinged at times

i am very sensible and can smart my way in and out of situations and i can send a banger corporate email but if you know me very well oh damn

i have (and also this blog low key has) the combined energy of four influencers:

-b dylan hollis

the tiktoker making the old recipes. he knows a weird amount about niche history topics, has general unhinged energy, and a slightly niche sense of humor. he also likes to fuck around in the kitchen and has a pretty generic Why Not Do It For The Bit vibe. his tiktok was also a quarantine project that got out of hand, much like this blog

-joanna ceddia

a youtuber who dropped off the face of the earth a few years ago and deleted her channel but holy hell her content was up there. we tell stories very similarly like very similarly and she was dramatic as all hell. her scammers video was textbook same energy as anything i post on here. she was also doing her own thing, had relatively few friends and was god tier levels of unbothered. max fuck it why not energy.

-micarah tewers

the youtuber who claims to make sewing tutorials but makes anything but. crafty, believes she can do anything with some fabric, a sewing machine and a hot glue gun (same). she does stuff to do it and has the biggest How Hard Could It Be gene that i’ve ever seen. also she tells stories in the same roundabout way that i do. distracted easily but does the stuff in the end

-the sturniolo triplets

those tiktok/youtube triplets that make the car videos. cursed sibling energy to the max, tangents left and right and vague threats but they love eachother at the end of the day. they also like calling out their fans and lurk on their own fan accounts which is the same vibes as katya and i calling you all out occasionally and reading through our notes and stuff. as with everyone else i’ve mentioned they have an unhinged way of telling stories. katya and i also have unhinged sibling energy but me and my own sister have it more

[dreamwatch]

Get to know me tag game

Thanks for the tags @gleek4twd and @tinytalkingtina! 💗

Favourite colour: I genuinely can’t settle on one. I think I’m mostly drawn to blues and greens, teal and lavender colours.

Last Song: Hotel California by the Eagles. (On my Eagles bullshit again, brewing a Steddie WIP…)

Currently reading: Pfft, what am I not reading? I’ve got 200 tabs of fics open on my iPad and I’m jumping around all over the place, but mostly Steddie Big Bang fics at the moment.

Currently watching: Season 4 of Slow Horses, and going down multiple YouTube rabbit holes. Current obsessions include wood turning, submarines and air crash investigations.

Currently craving: PPIs. No joke, I have severe GERD and I need to do a test that requires me to be off my meds for 10 days minimum so they don’t fuck with the results. It’s agony, and all I can think about is chomping on Omeprazole on Friday.

Coffee or tea: Coffee, vats and vats of it. I’d mainline it if I could.

A hobby you would like to try: Shit, there’s not many I haven’t already tried tbh. Dressmaking/sewing/quilting I think, quilting in particular. I’ve always said if I ever move anywhere with enough room I’m going to buy a sewing machine.

An AU you’re working on/thought of: Okay, none of these are being worked on, I’m not committing to another big fic until I finish the ones I’m already writing, buuuuut…

An Officer and a Gentleman. That ending gets me every fucking time, and I don’t know how I would Steddiefy it but I’d try. Steve in the Zak role and Eddie would obviously be his Paula. ❤️ I like it too because there is plenty of angst in the movie. Lots to play with.

A Star Is Born. I mean, pretty self explanatory that one, but it hit me recently that this would be perfect fodder for Steddie. Eddie in the Jackson Maine role (I mean, you could do the 1937, 1954 or 1976 versions instead, but I’m thinking 2018), and Steve in the Ally role. Full of romance, angst, drama and a bit of whump, delicious.

Ok this is the one I really want to write: Vietnam War. It’s a special interest for me, I have a lot of books on the subject, I’ve watched the Ken Burns doc more times than is healthy, and my first major fandom was The A Team, which was pure 80s action entertainment for the family, but the fanfic… oh, the fanfic. ❤️ This is the one I’ve given really serious thought to, but it’s also the one that needs a lot of research. I have a starting point, Eddie receiving his draft letter, coming home from work and Wayne at the kitchen table with the letter in his hand, absolutely dejected because he knows what it is. Thing is, I’m not sure that it’s a big sprawling epic of a plot that I want to write, more moments in time, vignettes, and maybe not all Eddie POV either. I have an idea for Jonathan meeting Nancy, who is an army nurse, and them falling in love. I think a series might work better, I dunno. But yeah, it’s always rattling around at the back of my mind.

God, I really waffle, don’t I?

No pressure tags as always, apologies if you’ve already been tagged and apologies if you really don’t want to do this.

@jo-harrington @the-unforgivenn @thisapplepielife @kikidoesfanfic @vthx @occasionaloverboy @hitlikehammers

[tamarisbiggestfancanon]

i had a random idea so uh what i think your favorite ghost and pals song says abt you and rating you by your fav song!!!!!! (including qualia automata songs)

Candle Queen

- You're either a animation meme kid, theater kid, or just love a classic

- Either haven't rlly listened to Ghost or just a newbie

- I'd say you're a 7/10 :3

Perfect Nothing

- You're either really chill or really chaotic

- How many times have you listened to perfect nothing exactly?

- Most likely listen to game OSTs on repeat, which I respect.

- I'm gonna say 8/10, you seem rlly cool

Honey I'm Home

- Religious trauma?

- You probably can't look at a spider without going "OH MY GOD IT'S CHARON!!" (me too buddy, me too.)

- You've probably either cosplayed Norman or Charon or you have thoughts about cosplaying

- You're probably theorizing the song 24/7

- 8.5/10, you're really awesome :3

Reckless Battery Burns

- IM IN LOVE WITH YOU.

- You probably own a Tamari plush or have a Tamari obsession (ME TOO!!!!!)

- How was your Adventure Time/Steven Universe/SpongeBob Squarepants phase?

- You're probably neurodivergent. I've never met a neurotypical Tamari or Reckless Battery Burns fan.

- Parental issues?

- You probably either want to cosplay Tamari or have

- ♾️/10, I love you so much.

End-World Normopathy

- Hand in marriage please?

- You've probably theorized the whole Qualia Automata lore

- You definitely freaked out seeing Tamaris first appearance

- You're probably a Mariyam fan (which is understandable, life laugh love Mariyam)

- 10/10, ily

Rotary Dial

- STAY AWAY FROM ME. /J

- Narcissistic mother?

- 6/10, I'm kinda scared of you

BLACK & WHITE

- Henry Elsner fan (mad respect)

- You've probably cried over Henry's death

- You love Ray or hate him, no in-between.

- 10/10, you seem so sweet aaaa

Housewife Radio

- Communications (hyper)fixation is all I gotta say.

- You probably know how to sew or crotchet

- I'm gonna assume you love tea

- You wish that Ghost would continue communications

- 9/10, we get that you love Communications.

The Things I Deserve

- Get some therapy. Please. (I'll pay for you dw)

- Idk what else to put but I'm concerned for you..

- 8/10

Amygdalas Ragdoll

- ANIMATION MEME KID.

- You're rlly chill but when you're comfortable around someone you go COMPLETELY FUCKING BALLISTIC.

- "Almonds? Is that an Amygdalas Ragdoll reference?"

- You're either scared of fire or love it

- 9.5/10, please get some therapy, I'll pay for you.

Star of the Show

- THEATRE KID.

- You were scared of clowns as a kid

- Hate loud noises

- Hate being the center of attention

- You're probably a sweet tooth

- 6/10, I don't see many Star of the Show fans sorry but I'm pretty sure you'd b sweet

Two of a Kind

- OHHHHH MY GOD I LOVE YOU

- Probably sad that the songs so underrated

- Had a galaxy phase or still in it

- Astonomy expert I'm guessing?

- 10/10, I love you so much

The Distortionist

- Christopher simp,,,,, or you absolutely hate him

- I'm concerned..

- You probably make theories

- I have a feeling you had a Bendy and the ink machine phase

- Probably love his design!

- 8/10, some of you scare me.

Happy Days

- SIT DOWN. WE ARE HAVING A THERAPY SESSION. RIGHT NOW.

- You probably relate to Slurpee (me too buddy it's okay)

- BPD I'm assuming?

- Most likely think Happy Days is the better version of Candle Queen

- You're probably a hot chocolate person

- 9/10, I love you but please get help

Appetite of a people-pleaser

- You don't need to change for anyone, you're perfect how you are.

- Eating disorder? And people pleaser?

- Sweet tooth most likely

- You had an UwU phase, convince me otherwise.

- Probably use emoticons

- 10/10, that's all I gotta say :3

Spider on the wall

- I'm scared. 2/10.

In Iolite

- I BARELY SEE YOU GUYS?????? WHAT????

- Probably get chills listening to it

- TV girl fan?

- 10/10 ^_^

part 2 maybe.. :3

[thesadboisguidetolife]

My sweet angel @iamanimaginarybeing tagged me to post a selfie and answers some questions so here we go!!

Had to pull the shirt down because these trunks leave NOTHING to the imagination lol also because this shirt is one of my favorites

Are you named after anybody? I was actually given my name BECAUSE my mom didnt want me to have the "family name" lol

Do you have any kids? i do! i dont talk about it much though because its not my place to put out my kids info like that unless they're comfortable with it.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Nooooooooooooooo. Not at aaaalllllll.

When was the last time you cried? Oh babe, i cry a good amount lol. there was a post i reblogged about the guy who went back to retake this picture in this old timey place that had me misty eyed. If we're talkin like haaaard cry..... a couple of weeks ago my depresso got kinda bad and i had me a little cry in the shower. but im good now 🥰

Whats the first thing you notice about people? oh God im gonna come across SUPER LA but, the vibes. Whether someones timid, loud, how they talk, body language, just the whole thing.

Eye Color? Brownish?!?! Ive been told i have little bits of green in them but please don't look into my eyes. I get embarrassed and feel uncomfortable in a comforting way if that makes ANY sense at all

What sports do you/have you played? Soccer and Basketball in teams growing up. Nothing much other than that lol

Any Special Talents? I can knit, crotchet, play guitar, bass, ukulele, im decent with a sewing machine, i can cook, i would like to think that im getting better at photography, i can pop my left shoulder out of my socket (?) haha this ones hard for me.

Where were you born? In the Antelope Valley, Southern California.

Scary Movies or happy endings? Scary Movies WITH Happy Endings. FUCK The Strangers. I love/hate that movie so much and i know it goes against my answer because it has one of thee most fucked up endings but.....damn lol

Do you have any pets? 2 cats

How Tall are you? a humble 5'6". lol

Favorite subject in school? Cooking, followed by French, followed by Weight Training lol

Dream Job? Cook at the Queer Commune lol honestly, i think im currently working on something id LOVE to do till the end of time but we'll see. I dont want to jinx it

Imma tag @sucker-for--anything-acoustic @campcrow2 @adamsmasher @floofiest-doof @beast-0f-lavendertown @circle-of-power @odeada-nightspawn @jambos6 @spider-boy1989 @skiingcows @snikt-yip @penismage @traumadumpling @chibi-masshuu @kaleidoscope-cosmic-power for now 🥰

[chunkymamatam]

I'm currently having a Vil obsession...do you perchance have any stories about him/any interactions with him? :') <3

-Reena

Yeah one is a really shitty interaction I had with him (which happens to be literally the first interaction we had lmfao) the rest are chill tho

Now, I’m a big bitch and I start this first interaction off by saying this because context is important and I understand that he genuinely wasn’t trying to be a douche but there’s a reason I’m fat and it’s not cuz I eat too much. Actually most times I struggle to eat at all.

Tw: I’m gonna mention my Eating Disorder and medical issues

Story 1:

I was getting signatures for an interest form about possibly starting a cheer team. I was doing this for a friend and I get to the table with Vil, Rook and Epel(Vil insists that they eat together to keep both Rook and Epel at least somewhat in check lmfao) and I was asking if they’d sign and this mf we looks at me and is like “have you tried the Salads here? They’re good and healthy.” Nah cuz wtf bro 😭 I was flabbergasted bro cuz what???

So I look at him, cuz honestly I expect this from mfers that are that conventionally beautiful, and I’m like “you better shut your fucking mouth before I beat that pretty face of yours black and blue and not that it’s any of your god damn business but I love salads. Ever had a Greek salad?” And he shakes his head “You should try them. They’re good. And healthy”

Then that night Malleus asked about it and I told him that Superstar is lucky he didn’t trigger my ED and he needs to be careful who he talks to like that because it’s gonna make someone relapse and really get hurt. Plus it’s those exact comments that made me feel like it was my fault when I was on medication with the side effects of weight gain and literally took my ability to sweat so what I can physically do is now limited. Malleus did NOT like this. Idk what he did but not long after that Vil approached me before classes and apologized. I relayed what I said to Malleus back to him. He genuinely felt bad and didn’t even think about that which is crazy considering his industry.

On a lighter not I asked to use his sewing machine for the cheer outfits and he said yes. Slight push back on the basis of “wouldn’t Crowley order them”

to which I was like “this man can’t even give me adequate housing” LMFAO

He said yeah after that and was like “only if I have final say on the design.” We’ve been pretty close friends since pfff

Story 2:

When the SDC came around and Ace and Deuce got on the team I panicked when the entirety of Pomefiore tried to beat our asses and broke a vase over someone’s head. Vil yelled at me that “that was expensive” BITCH I AINT APOLOGIZING I WAS BEING MAULED BY A BUNCH OF THEATER KIDS 😭😭😭

Vil was so done with me but like everyone else agreed with me so 💀

Story 3:

There was also this one time I was having a breakdown and he was like “oh sweetheart no. I can’t have you going out looking a mess. Let’s clean you up.” And he took me into the room he was in while staying at Ramshackle and did my hair and makeup. I took a picture and posted it to my Magicam (Cater forced me to make one lol). Tell me why his crazy ass fans identified him by his jawline, shoulders and a pixel of his hair???? This wasn’t even in frame enough that reasonably y’all should’ve been able to identify him 😭

It’s an ongoing joke between us now and we just occasionally post pictures of our legs next to each other, maybe I’ll put one leg over his. It’s really funny cuz I posted pictures of us in our Halloween costumes too and it wasn’t even just with him and they were like “You fat bitch you don’t deserve to date him” Now you can tell me I’m being dumb but that is such a massive leap to conclusions 😭😭😭

[nerdyvocals]

Hi there! @look-at-those-niceass-rocks and I are back on our bullshit with some unhinged movie-night quotes, this time with the first Descendants film. Previously, we've had some shit to say about Rise of the Pink Ladies and Julie and the Phantoms. This is the first actual movie we've watched for these movie-night quotes, so it's a long one. Buckle up, and enjoy the ride!

Bee: "Elected king"? That's not how democracy works.

Bee: How is he inheriting the crown if his dad is still alive???

(Note: For those not aware, hi, I'm a costume designer and technician, I usually have Things To Say about costumes, including the following Several Minute Rant)

Me, two minutes into the movie: PAUSE, okay I have opinions here Bee: Okay? Me: Okay so this is a fitting, right? I appreciate the big stitch lengths, that's accurate, but this should be a mock-up, with muslin! Why is it made of the fashion fabric??? Bee: This is riveting

Me: Why are his sleeves finished off? Where are the pins? Is that a hand back stitch??? Bee: *cackling*

Bee: YOU CANNOT BELIEVE IN THE DIVINE RIGHT OF KINGS AND DEMOCRACY

Me: Why did they give Ben a bust dart? Does he have tiddies??? Bee: TRANS BEN???

Bee: I'm gonna take a drink every time you go on a costume rant. Me: LISTEN

Bee (@Evie and Mal): So they're lesbians, right? Me: OH HO HO, YOU'D THINK SO WOULDN'T YA

Bee: You said Kenny Ortega did this, right? Me: Yep! Bee: That. SO very tracks.

Evie: *flirting* Bee: Ahhh, performative heterosexuality!

Me: Her love interest is so [HUSBAND]-coded; you're gonna lose your mind

Bee: Ah yep, Kenny Ortega choreography

Bee: IS THAT FUCKING KRISTEN CHENOWETH??? Me: YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT???

Both of us, anytime Carlos is on screen: He Baby

Bee: I bet AO3 had a field day with this franchise

Bee: Ohhhh, look at that shitty marching band, let me at 'em- NONE OF THOSE PEOPLE ARE PLAYING THOSE INSTRUMENTS Me: *wheeze*

Bee @ Audrey: Oh THATS a lesbian Me: I COULD GO ON A RANT and I won't until we have more context!

Me: Look, Evie's love interest is a dude but I choose to believe that he's a he/him lesbian so it works

Mal: And I totally don't blame your grandparents for inviting everyone in the whole world but my mother to their stupid christening! Me: Look, christenings were public events! They had to go out of their way to tell Maleficent not to come! Bee: Right! Like it was more work to have someone find her to tell her not to come! She would've stayed away if you just kept your mouths shut! Me: Not to victim blame, but don't fuck with the fae if you don't want the fae to fuck with you Bee: No I'm victim blaming in this one instance, that was fucking stupid

Doug: Hi-ho... Bee: Oh god he is [HUSBAND]-coded

Carlos: Die, suckers! Me: Let Carlos say fuck! Bee: He would say it constantly

Jay: *ninja kick through the door* Bee: Dumbass

Carlos: *trying to help Jay up* Me: *sobbing* He baby!!! Bee: He wants to help his brother!!!

Bee, already tipsy: I think every time we say "he baby" I need to drink water

Me: Hnng I remember being obsessed with Mal's outfits as a 14yo but looking at it now as a costume designer, I can't tell if I still love it or if I kinda hate it. Bee: Lemme take a drink and you elaborate. Me: There's something kinda off-putting about it and I can't tell if it's because it reeks of 2015 Disney Channel-which is not a bad thing!-or if I just don't think the design works. Bee: It looks like they were going for scene but didn't really know what scene was

Me: I think we should also take a drink whenever we say "that's gay"

Both: STOP BEING MEAN TO JANE SHE'S SO CUTE

Ben: *trying to convince Carlos Dude won't hurt him* Me: For the trans!Ben headcanon, I know that's just a weird fuckin' seam on his shirt, but it looks like a binder

Honorable mention: Us constantly screaming at evie that she's allowed to be smart

Bee: Hey, [HUSBAND], Wanna come see a character that's you coded???

Evie: *making clothes* Me: THAT SEWING MACHINE IS SEXY

Me @ Lonnie: I wouldn't call that cool hair Bee: Oh now she's cool, she ripped her skirt

Mal: I think it's time Benny Boo got himself a new girlfriend Bee: Girl he is right behind that door

Mal: *wipes Lonnie's tear* Bee: LOOK AT HER FACE, see that? That was a gay awakening

Me during Did I Mention: Guess what Bee: Huh? Me: That's not him singing Bee: *gasp* They Troy Bolton'ed that man

Bee: There are. Not enough trumpets in this band Me: Nerd

Talking about the Maleficent movie and how I've never seen it Bee: Oh god, you would've been like. 12 Me: Or 13 depending on the time of year! Bee: It came out in May Me: ...Okay yeah I would've been 12 Bee: I can do math! [HUSBAND], distantly: Citation needed! Bee: HEY!!!

Ben: Is this your first time? Bee: HUH???

Me: What was he trying to accomplish here? Like he didn't tell her they were going somewhere they might need swimsuits, was he trying to get her in her underwear??? Bee: If it wasn't a Disney movie I'd say yes Me: Horny teenage boy

Ben: *shirtless on the cliff* Me: Good for him, he's had top surgery since the last scene

Maleficent: Still doing tricks with eggplants? Bee: Idk, ask her husband

After the cover of Be Our Guest Bee: What. Was that. Me: I know Bee: That was so bad! Me: I promise the other covers are better

Me: I hate Mal's costume in this scene Bee: Drink! Me: The purple on her blazer matches too perfectly with her hair, there's no break in the silhouette Bee: Oh yeah, I see what you mean Me: I get what they're trying to do with the lighter palette, but I'd swap the blue and purple, personally

Queen Leah: My daughter was raised by fairies Me: That was your own fault Bee: Nowhere in that curse did it say you couldn't raise her

Insert the TEN MINUTE interlude of me dying over the obscene fit of Ben's suit:

(Please note: A) his jacket sleeve is caught on his elbow, which is what's causing that FOUR INCH exposed sleeve, B) who wears a pocket square and no tie? C) the buttons are STRAINING because the suit hasn't been tailored properly, it's way too small, you're the future king and I expect better from you okay you CANONICALLY have people tailoring your clothes, and while we're on buttons, D) NEVER button both buttons on a suit jacket! If the jacket has two buttons, the top is buttoned and the bottom isn't. If it's three, top is button sometimes, middle is always buttoned, and the bottom is never. Also: Unbutton when sitting or doing physical activity, such as croquet. This has been Levi's useless button PSA)

Honorable mention: I showed my mentor this picture the next day and he gasped like he'd been shot

Jane: He's never gonna make a villain a queen Me: WE WERE ROOTING FOR YOU! Bee: WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU!

Me: she's not ugly, she just has a fuck ass bob

Bee @ Beast: Oh why'd they give him glasses, now he's hot

Mal: How do you know that?? Ben: because I'm listening to my heart! Bee: Gay Mal: I'm listening to mine too Bee: DOUBLE gay

Bee: I love how you can soo very see all these frozen people moving

Maleficent: *Dragon Time (tm)* Bee: FOUND THE BUDGET

Jane: Guess I did get pretty lucky in the mother department Me: Speaking of mothers can someone please catch the lizard Bee: PLEASE

Side note, my internet was wigging out and the stream kept freezing, particularly during Set It Off Me, struggling with the connection: And what if I cry Bee: Limping toward the finish line Me: What if I cry and commit arson

Mal: You didn't think that was the end of the story, did you? Bee: Well that was fucking ominous We watched Descendants 2 as well!

[aliypop]

Let Yourself Go

Word Count: 1,973

Writers Note: My First 68 Comeback Fic

Warning: mostly fluff

Pairing: OC x Elvis

Plot: Tensions rise between Colonel Tom Parker and the former Cecelia Valmos now known as Cecelia Presely as they butt heads on the vision that is the Christmas Special ( 68 Comeback Special ) can the multi-academy award winner compromise or will it boil over

Taglist:

@darkmoviesquotespizza

@sissylittlefeather

@richardslady121

@thegettingbyp2

@presleyenterprise

@sissylittlefeather

@dkayfixates

@rjmartin11

California 1967

"Those damn movies are doing me in Cece!" Elvis grumbled as his wife looked up from her typewriter. His third rant of the day, but she listened and watched him pace around until he'd eventually turn blue in the face or get hungry,

"Sugar, sit down. You'll tucker yourself out again." Cecelia laughed a little, "Or worse, you'll get worry lines, and you know how you are about those." she mentioned as she watched her husband stop pacing in his tracks. She always knew how to calm him down. 

"Now take a deep breath and tell me what's wrong," Cecelia said, her hands off the keys. 

"I-I-I Oh, I wouldn't want you worrin about me." Elvis smiled as Cecelia gave him that glance. He couldn't resist her beautiful brown eyes when they could see right through him.

"Elvis Aaron Presley... What's bugging you...." she heard him take in a deep sigh as he looked up towards the ceiling, his intoxicating blue eyes keeping her mesmerized with those beautiful long lashes. 

"It's The Colonel." 

"What'd he do this time..." she sighed, laying in her husband's lap, 

"He's got good intentions with this idea, but..."

"You hate it."

"I hate it." he laughed, "You know me so well, don't you." he leaned down to kiss her nose. 

"Mmmm, let's see, touring with you from 54 to 56 and then dating you and being your wife. And sometimes co-star, I'd hope I do." she shrugged, "But continue, I wanna know if I have to break his kneecaps.".

"So you know Singer Sewing Machines."

"Mhmm, Midge loves their machines," 

"They want me to do a Christmas Special..." she could hear the aggravation in his voice as he said. Cecelia was trying not to laugh as he said it, but she couldn't help but think about him in an ugly Christmas Sweater. 

"Fine, fine, laugh at me." Elvis groaned,

"Honeybear, I'm not laughin at you. I'm laughin at the fact Tom thought you'd agree to that." she took another deep breath, "You know my mother even knows that's not your speed anymore."

"I'm glad someone knows that." There was a bit of hurt and loss in his voice as if he forgot who he once was, the man climbing the charts, the man women wanted and the kind men wanted to be. He needed a reminder.

"You need a comeback." she rubbed circles on his face with her hand, "And a shave." she joked as he heard her laugh. 

"You think I could make a comeback?"

"You're Elvis Presley. You can make anything! Except for food." she mumbled the last part.

"Aye, I thought you liked my charred steak," he smirked,

"It could've been better." she pulled him in for a kiss as he held her close, a small moan leaving her lips. She did miss the times she got to kiss him. Between touring and doing movies,

"Cece..."

"Hmm..."

"If I do this Comeback Special, I want you with me every step of the way." 

"Who said I didn't have NBC on Speed Dial..." her fingers in his jet black hair as she trailed down to his ascot.

"God Damnit, doll, you're my weakness," he smirked.

"And you're mine." she was straddling him now as he looked her up and down, 

"Ah, ah, easy there, Tiger, that's how we got twins."

"You started it."

"I did, and we'll finish it tonight. But for now, we have business to do."

 California June 1968

Cecelia watched from the background on set. She didn't want to interfere, let alone get in the way. But things were looking hectic, especially for Elvis. It was like a circus that she knew she could tame. Cecelia just had to find the perfect moment to jump in. 

"We fucking lost Howe..." Binder groaned, "No producer, no production, we're behind on everything," Cecelia's ears perked up as she walked over. It wasn't like she was eavesdropping. She was a Godsent, after all. 

"How behind are we..." Cecelia asked, 

"Mrs. Presley, it's nothing to worry about. "

"Call me Cecelia, now tell me how behind are we, 'cause I've got some guys who can speed us back on track."

"Well... The music hasn't been composed. We're only two weeks out from finishing pre-production. We don't have a producer, and I'm up to my ass in stress."  

Cecelia laughed as Binder looked at her confused, "If Elvis calls, tell him the production is moving fine." she smiled, straightening out her pantsuit as she looked at Binder, 

"But..."

"I'll make some calls." her heels clicking away, "Oh and Binder." 

"Yes, Mrs. Presley, I-I mean Cecelia."

"Say hello to your second unit director."

Later that night, Cecelia had been prepping and planning on the phone, trying to get weeks' worth of work done. She'd been burning herself on both ends of the candle, but Cecelia wanted it to be perfect for Elvis. She wrote scripts and wrote songs, but she had a mother who knew any and everybody. 

"Elaine Marie, leave Jesse alone!" Denise sighed, rubbing her temples, "She's almost as troublesome as her father."

"She's her father's twin," Cecelia laughed. Her mother could hear how tired she was already,

 "Have you been sleeping lately..."

"I have mama... just not as peaceful," Cecelia sighed, 

"Is something going on between you and Elvis?" Denise asked. She could hear concern in the voice of her mother. 

"No, no, we're fine. We've both been busy, with me helping direct this TV special, and he's making new music for it. We've rarely seen each other." Cecelia laughed a bit, 

"I see you got yourself into something." Denise sighed, 

"I did,"

"Cecelia Shanel Valmos Presley!"

"We just need a producer..." 

"Get Midge to do it..."

"You're a genius!" 

"What would you do without me, child." Denise smiled.

"Probably die." she joked, 

NBC Studios June 17th

 "Listen, Parker. It's a genius idea. I mean, we get him rehearsing with his friends and-"

"That would be ridiculous. No one wants to see that!" Tom rolled his eyes, walking down the halls of the studio towards the lobby, 

"It suites Elvis. It's not exactly traditional!" Binder said,

"Singer sewing machine wants tradition."

"Singer wants the singer Elvis Presley." Cecelia gave her keys to the receptionist. Tom's skin crawled when he heard her voice, 

"Ms. Valmos..."

"Parker...." she said behind gritted teeth, "If they want traditional, they got the wrong guy," Cecelia said, shrugging her shoulders as Binder gave her the schedule for the day. 

"No... No... No..." Tom looked between the two, "You can't be here for rehearsals!"

"Actually, she has to be," Binder smirked.

"She'll be a distraction to Elvis!"

"You mean-"

"Hey, uh, Presley wants to speak to the directors." Midge poked her head as Tom almost fainted. 

"Tell him we're coming." Cecelia smiled, her boots clicking on the studio floors. 

"So... Who's this?"

"Binder, Michaels, Michaels, Binder, Midge will be our producer for the time being," Cecelia smiled,

"Ever produced anything?"

"Music?" Midge shrugged,

"Works for me." 

Walking into the rehearsal room, Midge could instantly see the problem. The team had been falling apart even more because the dream was a compromise, 

"Cil..." Midge whispered, "You've got a tough one on your hands..."

"I can handle it." 

"Can you..."

"Already had to handle a costume meeting." Cecelia sighed, taking a deep breath," We're supposed to fit him in some of them today..." 

"Well, there's our choreographer, but where's Elvis..." Midge groaned as she looked over to see Cecelia was gone. Elvis was sitting in his dressing room, his head in his hands as he tried to take a deep breath. Elvis needed to relax. He just needed to sing like the Colonel told him to. 

"Belew's looking for you for your fitting, Mr. Presley..." Elvis's head had perked up as he heard the voice. He knew it from anywhere. 

"Cece..."

"That's second director to you," she said as she came behind him. He looked stressed, and they hadn't even filmed anything yet. 

"You're..." he nodded, "No wonder why Colonels pissed." he laughed as Elvis held her hand, 

"Figured you could use the help," she kissed his cheek, 

"Now, these costumes..."

"I told Belew it's out of my hands on that one." she laughed,  

"Why would you do that, darlin."

"Your show your rules," she walked out of the dressing room, knowing he'd follow her, 

"What about the Singer image."

"Singer wants the Elvis image, so give 'em Elvis." she kissed him quickly.

"Elvis..." Tom walked in as he saw the two, "Ah yes, just the person I wanted to see..." he glared at Cecelia as he walked past her.

"If you know what's good for you, don't listen to her."

Cecelia's head had turned as she could see the fire in Elvis's eyes ignite.

"You listen here!" Cecelia held Elvis back.

"She's going to distract you with her idea-"

"Idea's that sell Parker! Or the ideas that Elvis has. It's his show, and Singer is sponsoring it," she looked at him.

"It was supposed to be a family fun Christmas special!"

"Another way to keep me at the middle of the charts." Elvis groaned,

"My boy, I'd never-"

"His last few movies flopped..." Cecelia looked at him, "Thus, his last few records were flops." she looked at Tom hard and rageful,

"What would you know about show biz."

"I don't know, but maybe the custom pink Mustang outside from Paradise Records might help." Tom laughed as she nearly launched at him, Elvis holding her back in his arms. Tom walked off laughing as Cecelia was heated. They'd had bumped heads, but this was worse than before. 

"Baby, look at me." Elvis held her close,

"Yes..."

"Whatever I say goes, I'm gonna show him the real Elvis."

"I was wondering when my husband would show up." she joked, getting on her tiptoes to ruffle his hair a little.

"Why, you little!" 

"Catch me if you can!" she teased.

June 20th

"Anyone seen Presley?" Midge asked, going around the studio. Elvis had been recording earlier that day as they finally made it to the first production day, also known as the countdown to the ending of making history, 

"No, but I got my ticket!"

Cecelia turned as she saw "Rosa!" she hugged her tightly. 

"You know there's like two guys outside giving away tickets to anyone, right?" Both Midge and Cecelia groaned, 

"Well, make yourself comfortable and-"

"We'll just set up over here." 

"Is that Scotty..."

"You go find Presley. Tell him it's almost time to film." 

"Tell Binder he's on his way," she said, walking towards his dressing room. Elvis heard the knock on his door as he took a deep breath. It had been seven years since he'd done a show. His nerves were kicking in, and everything told him Elvis couldn't do it. He couldn't make it, looking in the mirror. Elvis could see the young nineteen-year-old boy shaking with excitement to be on any stage if given the chance. But he also remembered the scared young man in a foreign country grieving his mama. 

"El... you okay?" Cecelia asked, opening the door.

"Just nervous." Cecelia took his hands as she kissed each finger and ring. 

"I know you are," 

"What if I-I blow it," he sighed, "I go out there an I stutter or some crap like that."

"Then we'll roll for another take." Cecelia grinned,

"If I forget a word?"

"Then we'll roll another take." she shrugged, 

"What if I embarrass myself?"

"Honey, this is your world. We're all living in it." 

"Well, you're my world, and I enjoy living in you." he kissed her cheeks, then her nose and her lips,

"El!"

"What, it didn't sound right or something?"

"Go get dressed, will you." 

"Alright, fine."  

When Elvis walked out, he was covered head to toe in leather. She'd of course seen the sketches of the suit but to see it in person infront of her was making her feel things.

"Kinda tight huh..."

"In all the right places..." she mumbled, 

[lollytea]

You tagging that last post with Willow just prompted me to put forth my dyslexic willow headcanon. She didn't work well in the abominations track for multiple reasons but one of them was that it was VERY textbook based compared to plants and she was struggling Bad. She tries to read cosmic frontier for Hunter and Gus but struggles (thinks abt how she's the only main kid with no book related/bookish interests..) and eventually Hunter and Gus take to just reading the entire book aloud to her, doing voices, etc.

YEAH YEAH EXACTLY!!! I have the dyslexic Willow headcanon too (also adhd) because her school problems really do feel like a kid with an undiagnosed learning disability struggling to keep up. Obviously that's not ENTIRELY why she's not the best in the abomination track but I definitely see it as being a big part of the problem.

But oh my god!! Stop!!! Willow doing her goddamn BEST to read Cosmic Frontier because she said she was gonna and Hunter's really excited to know what she thinks. Meanwhile, Gus is giving her the side eye of the century because he KNOWS how hard she finds it to read long wordy books. But she keeps shrugging him off like "Pssh I'm fiiiiiine, I totally got this!! :)" both of them knowing full well that Willow badly wants to make Hunter happy. Plus, he thinks so highly of Willow's intelligence and she isn't ready to admit that she just can't read the book. She doesn't want to put a damper on his perception of her. She doesn't want to disappoint him.

However, when it all becomes too much and Willow has to come clean about the book, she's surprised by how unfazed Hunter is. The first thing he says is "Hm. Okay. How can I help?" Because obviously, his main priority here is the unfairness of Willow not being able to experience the best book ever written and he can't let that slide. Fortunately, Gus already has plenty of ideas.

I could absolutely see them reading the book aloud but in my mind there is no way they wouldn't do The Absolute Most. Gus and Hunter, a pair of massive theatrics. Oh they are literally about to act out the whole book like it's a play, complete with sets and costumes (courtesy of Gus' illusions and Hunter's sewing machine) and SO much enthusiasm!!! All for Willow!!!!

And tbh I think even if Willow could have easily read Cosmic Frontier, she wouldn't have fallen in love with it the way Gus and Hunter did. But whatever the fuck THIS is??? Two of her best friends in the world acting their little hearts out, putting on funny voices and having an absolute blast for two hours straight. Oh Willow had the time of her life.

[degendog]

Wooo it me, good ol packer-dildo-strap thing person!!

I have been hand washing it with like a cup and 1/2 of soap every day and it’s been going like well enough so that it doesn’t smell..? That’s probably not a big win though can’t lie

Also as far as it being a dildo/strap GOD NO I should’ve clarified that I haven’t used it as such it just looks a lot more like both then like a packer I guess. I also use photos of both for reference while making it

I haven’t had a lot of luck with packing with a sock so that why I went to this I guess, like god does that fucking sock move around A LOT and it’s summer and it’s getting up to like 100 here so the fact that it’s a sock in tape that won’t just absorb sweat helps. I might try again once it cools down though, or if this thing goes poorly, whichever happens first.

And as far as hygienically worse goes, yeah uh ok I’m not a monster of something, but like you don’t wanna know.

:3

if you pin the sock packer to your underwear…….it shouldn’t move……………..i use a sock packer in high heat and humidity and it’s fine……………….brother…………………………………it can be unrolled and put in the washing machine…………………………

please for the love of god. just bc you wash the outside doesn’t mean it’s clean. the core is still fabric. it can absorb all kinds of shit even when the outside doesn’t smell. and even if it’s watertight now, it won’t be forever! laminate and tape peel off! do not risk the moldy dick broski.

even if you look up how to sew a packer, you’ll still be able to huck that bitch into the washer/dryer with your clothes. seriously. if you want a packer that looks like a dick you can sew one. or just save up your money and buy like. a real ass packer????? and a packer harness????? that will be also easier to clean and significantly less likely to get MOLD IN YOUR BITS?????????? OH MY GOD??????????

and i’m still super unclear on what the hell is happening with the undies it’s attached to. you cut a hole in them?????? what??????? what’s the deal there??????? why would you have to wear two pairs of undies???????

you are such a character to me. every detail i get is more ridiculous than the last. i’m fascinated. you’ve created such a bizarre monstrosity that i have to know more. your electrical tape laminate sock abomination is terrifying in its mystery. why did you think this was a good idea.

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Watching Con O'Neill's old stuff cause it's fun. Day #?- Ordinary lies-EPISODE 1

I am going, to be honest. I don't know how to tag this without 'ruining it' look up the warnings on your own? Tell me below in the comments those of you who have seen this how you would tag warnings for this. Just take this meme and go googling.

UPDATED CON RANKINGS DOWN BELOW! Also, for anyone who doesn't know, I finally have a tag for this series! It's easy to find now!

As always thanks to @ivegotnonameidea for the love

Some people I follow who I think have seen this and I'd love their opinions @cliffcostello @gydima @dianetastesmetal @mossiestpiglet(if you haven't seen this, just ignore me. Or go read the warnings and watch it?)

Thoughts below, I'd love to hear yours.

(IS IT BETTER TO KNOW OR NEVER HAVE KNOWN)

SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT BABES! ITS A WILD RIDE! For me this is almost as emotional as Joe Meek from Telstar. So....YEAH.

Con being the first name in the credits?

DAD ROCK CON!

AHHH, smiling. A sign of more to come

OHH! Cringe boss/coworker Con! I love it. I've seen a gif of this speech out of context and thought he'd be an ass.

What job is he doing?

JOE! That name has no Con O'Neill associations.

"I don't assemble teams based on the basis of who might fuck eachother" JOE I LOVE YOU

I know that head of hair! Hey Joel Fry!

As someone who worked at a warehouse, they've got the energy down. "I will just, leave them here, for you" Yeah, real.

DONT WALK BACKWARDS IN A WARHOUSE

WHAT THE FUCK!

(As someone who has dropped a boxed up sewing machine on my head from about that height, the boy's going to need help. If he suddenly becomes 'crazy' ill be a bit peeved.)

Also, most pallets for warehouses are stacked bottom heavy. We don't know the freight they ship, but still. The only reason heavy stock was on top is if the whole pallet was heavy. (I get that they had to drop empty boxes on Con for ~Safety~ but they could have edited snappier)

Headache? Do you know what helps? GOING TO THE HOSPITAL WHEN YOU HAVE AFFORDABLE HEALTHCARE!

I'm calling it. The wife is cheating on him. Joe's not allowed to be happy.

AHHH! They won't let him drive! Love it.

I LOVE HIS JACKET!

This over-the-bed shot was necessary, and I love it

Oh, look at him. Community leader.

So he's insecure, has a shaky relationship with his family, and is semi-committed to work? LOVE IT

No Joe, partners don't snoop at their partner's phones.

NO, CHEATING WOULDN'T BE GOOD HERE?!?!

Also, that fucking look Joe gave him. love it.

GOD CAN PEOPLE JUST FUCKING TALK?

If he cheats in retaliation, this will start a circle of cheating and bullshit. Speaking from life, don't put your kids through that.

Actually, this is the most realistic portrayal of warehouse managers. Especially ignoring basic safety rules for a laugh. The only thing they messed up on was doing it in front of the cameras. Managers know better.

BRO

DON'T PUT CAMERAS IN YOUR OWN HOME

I know Joel is a superhero which just makes this scene fun.

As paranoid as I am with my space, I like to think I'd notice.

EXACTLY TECH GUY. Trust is mandatory. Wait, don't threaten physical harm, that's a bit much

He's trying to be fun, but god. OH HIS YODA IS SO FUN

Going to a bar with coworkers sounds awful

I hope my life pushes me to follow the narrative as hard as it's convincing Joe that his wife is cheating on him.

Maybe don't fuck your coworkers?

BRO DOING THE WEIRD STALKER THINGS AFTER WORK?

Joe is going to a meeting, at least he's proactive.

NOT AT WORK? THE FUCK.

GAY? Gay cheating or do they just have long hair?

Yeah, he's having a good day. 10/10

Why is the PA at his desk? What the fuck? Even if he wasn't paranoid, it's still wrong if he's upper management.

(Smoke alarm scene) Oh joy, the cards come crumbling. Also, I don't know when this was published, but they definitely had small enough cameras to fit inside a working smoke alarm.

SHE DOESN'T TRUST HIM TO TALK THIS OUT? At least entertain the thought that your teenager is smoking?

Ohh he's quizzing her to see if she's cheating, bro don't look too suspicious.

BRO IF YOU'RE UNHAPPY ENOUGH TO CHEAT JUST FUCKING TALK ABOUT GETTING A DIVORCE!

I love this adventure outfit.

What did he expect? They don't supply the mountain with 4g

Aww he's in recovery, it'd be a shame if, over the course of this episode, he slipped up :|

'Good Time Joe' :( (also, this is just going to make me sad, huh)

Good for him. But not including his wife/kids is kind of saying a lot.

That looks like a nice sleeping bag!

Oh shit, that's a walk. Good thing you didn't tell anyone where you were going. :\ he's asking to get murdered

Yeah, babe. This is creepy. Please evaluate your actions.

Yeah, this scene is sweet.

BRO DON'T ACT LIKE THIS SUDDEN EVASION OF PRIVACY

Wait, did he accidentally out his kid's relationship? Is that what I'm supposed to gather from this?

WHY IS HE CASUALLY FLICKERING A LIGHTER?

Also, if this is something 'serious' please tell me this wasn't the era when weed was the worst tv would do

I feel like this talk would be easier if you didn't make eye contact

INSTALLING THE CAMERAS GAVE HIM TOO MUCH FUCKING INFO. God, that's funny as fuck.

She needs to stop fucking new employees, it's an HR issue

This whole meet-up scene is nice

IT IS BETTER TO HAVE NEVER FOUND OUT BABE. Life is a mystery and being able to find out is an issue. In fact, you can stop whenever you want. Like, now?

Teenage daughter is drinking, calling it now.

OH SHIT, THE WIFE?

Okay, maybe the two women are just really close friends.

SHE GRABBED HER FACE, THAT'S CODE FOR FUCKING

Also, even I don't know that I'd keep alcohol in the house if Joe is known to drink instead of reaching out for help. Obviously, everyone has different limits, but eh. Feels courteous at least.

Joe is not having a good time. If I need to pause for embarrassment reasons, I'll say.

OH SHIT JOE. THAT'S NOT GOOD.

"It's not porn" If you think your wife is fucking someone, and you caught it on camera, that's porn.

Look, say what you will. But it looks like she cares as his boss/equal.

He's not himself cause he's scared.

"How would you rate that assessment?" "6/10" BRO

Just tell her. About the cheating at least.

See, Joe is just coming to this realization. This is the healthiest mindset to respect people's boundaries.

No, you don't have a right to know everything. AHHH HE LOOKED AT THE CAMERA OMG THAT WAS SO GOOD.

YES! IT'S A NEW ADDICTION GOD THAT'S SO SMART! AHHHHH

Good! Look at him apologizing. An Adult.

Also, their business is heavily dependent on people's excess income. As hard as he can try, he's fucked living with the economy as his ruler. Sad honestly.

I haven't mentioned that he's spying in the bathroom now instead of the desk, but god is that unhygienic.

You know what, I have some hope for him.

IS THAT A GUY? Threesome? Foursome? Wait, what pamphlet? Are they close to scoping him out?

ITS DANGEROUS BULLSHIT TIME

It's probably just her coworkers, right? This is all an innocent mistake?

OH HE'S TAILING THEM! That is so BALLSEY!

How the fuck is he going to explain himself if they catch him?

OH SHE CATCHES PREDATORS! OH MY GOD!

ICON

FUCKING HERO

HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! OH GOD

What? What am I missing? Oh SHIT.

OH SHIT.

GOD HE'S A GOOD FUCKING DAD. LOOK HE'S SO FUCKING GOOD GOD!

AHHHHHHHH

Look as shitty as it is, he has a point.

Violence won't do shit, and neither will entrapment.

OH FUCK

OH SHIT

OH MY GOD

NOOOOOOO

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT

WHAT???!?!?1?!?!??!?!?!?!?!

GOD AT LEAST HE HAS PROOF!?!?!?!?!? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

Jesus. Just get a divorce.

OH SHE DID ACTUALLY CHEAT

HE DIDN'T EVEN GET PROOF! DID SHE ACCIDENTLY LET SOMETHING SLIP?

Okay, Jesus, get a divorce.

FUCK.

No, let her do this, hit him.

How the fuck does he not know what statutory rape is in this instance? This is a really fucking good episode but Jesus Christ, that fucking neggs me.

ME FUCKING TOO JOE. WAIT THATS BOOZE. NO

NO

FUUUUUCCKKK

At least he immediately went to go see someone in his support system (his daughter) after relapsing.

___________________________________________________________

CON: FUCKING 10/10. I don't even know where to begin. I am so fucking happy I wasn't spoiled for shit besides his opening speech and seeing gifs of his chest. He plays Joe as a raw, damaged individual who just wants to protect himself and his family. I have entire fucking essays I want to write on his performance.

What Joe needs is a support group. I know he's in other episodes, and the entire point of this show is that people live Ordinary Lives, but just knowing how bad he's struggling, it seems cruel to me. Real in a way I want media to clean up nicely with a bow. He's reaching a new low in his life, and fuck! If yall tell me other episodes have more prominent Joe scenes, I will absolutely watch it.

Yes, I've seen "Let me buy you a drink! Tier Five Friday, whoo whoo?" and a few other clips of Joe and Joel Fry's character. AND ITS SAD, regardless of how funny it is. I'm so fucking weak for this depressed man.

It just hurts cause I know he can work to be happier.

If he thinks she's willing to cheat, he doesn't trust their relationship to hold.

But with how he feels like he's failed them as a protector, losing them could fucking break them more. As I mentioned sports supplies are an excess funds type product. Imagine if all of this shit was going on, AND a recession hits, and his position at work was threatened? I was laid off from my warehouse job THREE MONTHS before peak just because profits were low. Joe having a record of assaulting staff and unsafe workmanship on the floor could be enough to lose his job if things get tight.

I want to give this man a fucking happy ending, a partner who he can trust and have these discussions with, and a better fucking support system.

I know my 'as I watch' summary seems disjointed but my original one without editing was too long for Tumblr. It included me just fucking hitting my keyboard. LOTS OF FUCCKKKKKS. Etc, you get my point. I want to rewatch this to see all the nuances with full context, and also never think about this again cause I will explode it's so fucking good.

For Joe's final thoughts, who's better to give final words than Con himself?

"I feel for him. I wouldn't do what he does – but I understand why he does it."

Characters besides Con: 9/10. A few small things bugged me. But eh. They are people as Joe sees them. I'm sure if I watched other episodes these people would be more fleshed out.

Story 9/10: I love that this was a mystery drama in the truest sense of the word. We were meant to solve things along with Joe until the rug was pulled from under us. WE WERE THE OBSERVING EYES BUT WE WEREN'T ALL-KNOWING. The audience wasn't God. We went from thinking he was weird to even considering this, but Jesus. He caught his son doing one of the fucking worst things he could have possibly done.

Again, I know fuck ups exist in every goddamn family. But the son is old enough to have been aware of what happened to his sister when it happened. The son knew exactly what happened to his sister and still did what he did. Again, it's real, but it just feels like so much shit stacked on top of Joe's shoulders at the last fucking second to make him break. I feel for the Mom and Daughter but they were kind of side stories here we barely got to see.

Everything unravels from the audience at first thinking Joe is weird, to OH MY GOD?!??!?! Is a delight. If a mystery is served to us like this, I will eat it the fuck up.

Overall: 10/10. I fucking love this hour of television. We got so many scenes of Joe just slightly breaking down as everyone around him wouldn't just be honest with him. He had to break down in the last ten minutes, and we the audience had no clue just how shitty the situation was. If you want me to watch more, don't be afraid to fully spoil the cool stuff down below. If I didn't care more about keeping a 'scale' this would be a 11/10+.

Again, everyone in S is essentially interchangeable.

I will add his bit roles if needs be. Or if I'm bored! (Update-2/23/2023 to include recent bit roles)

As always, have a good day. Or night. I'm writing this at 1 in the morning so hopefully, it's understandable. Please throw up words below, it always makes my day!

[sassmar]

15 questions + 15 tags

tysm @everythingbutcoldfire @pomegranate-pill for the tag my loves ! <3 <3

nickname: sadly my name doesn't lend itself well to this (!) ... ppl sometimes try to shorten it but. v unsuccessfully i think

height: short lol

last thing i googled: oh god let's see looks like it was "volat nullos strepitus facientibus" no fucking idea why nope not a clue......

song stuck in my head currently: probs the smiths' "half a person"

number of followers: do ppl actually know this

amount of sleep: just. the normal amount?

dream job: honestly. honestly. honestly. actress something very ordinary and attainable like uh. marrying a surgeon.

wearing: like a lil flannel spaghetti strap dress thing.... w/ a fuzzy black sweater pulled over it

movie/book that summarizes me: um hmmm this is weirdly very very difficult? i'm just gonna go with. the heart is a lonely hunter by carson mccullers

favorite song currently: welllll spotify says i listened to "washing machine heart" by mitski 18230401723820123874 times last year so let's say that

aesthetic: like... trashy sleepy vampire chic?

favorite author: AHHH how utterly impossible !! but virginia woolf is probably a safe choice

random fact: sometimes i sew my own clothes

tagging @shipsnsails @direwolf-summer @heart-axe no pressure whatsoever <3