#oh divorce arc you’re so special to me

[st-peculiar]

I think Jacobi and Kepler should have been allowed to mutually beat the shit out of each other at least once. For enrichment

[stylistiquements]

Day 9 : Scronch'love.

𐐪𐑂 Pairing : Sapnap x fem!reader {Playlist}

𐐪𐑂 Summary : a lovely afternoon and an ancestral question; when are you going to join the dream smp?

𐐪𐑂 Word count : 1.5k

𐐪𐑂 Warning : swearing

Masterlist | Previous | Next

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・　　 .・゜゜・　　・゜゜・

“Have you been here for a long time?”

“Have you been here for a long time?”

“Have you been here for a long time?”

Time bends and twists into unknowns shapes when well spent. So, you’re so not sure. Long enough for your fairy garden to start looking like at least a proper garden, long enough for your feet to start fidgeting, brushing against the soft fabric of the blanket ever so slightly and softly.

“Can you share your screen?”

“I’m just picking flowers, there’s nothing much to see,” you warn but it never does the proper job.

“That’s fine, I like watching you play.”

“Oh, do you now?”

“Yeah. You’ve been playing for years and you’re still dog water. It's almost soothing,” you hear him grin through the silkiness of his voice.

You smile evasively, palm gripping the mouse and executing on memory. Soon, Sapnap’s satisfied noises hovers and everything is just how it’s supposed to be. You spend a while humming the music of days and nights of the game while building your project. Sap helps from time to time, giving advice when his attention is there and leaving trails of compliments on his way. You don’t think the garden is necessarily that good, you don’t mind either.

“Do you think the tree should go on the left or the right of the pond?” You ask, fingers drumming back and forth between the two options. Right he says. "What about the roses, do I plant some or not?"

“It’s just a detail, don’t hurt your brain too much on that,” he says in a light tone, but you disagree.

“Details are what make things important. Like when you remember I prefer warm pillows so you give me yours, it’s just a detail but it makes me happy.”

“Of course I do; you’re a baby,” he murmurs teasingly.

With an arched eyebrow, you retort, “says you,” and silence follows for a second as you plant the tree on the right of the pond.

“Yeah, Dream already made sure I was aware of that.”

“Not sure why the piss baby thinks he’s qualified to have this conversation, buddy,” you note and Sap chuckles are as vivid as contagious. “Why would he call you a baby anyway? What have you done?”

“I-I’m not telling you.” As soon as the mumbles fades, your phone sends loud vibrations on your desk. You abandon your character to the night and the wildness, picking the phone as you murmur a low oh, okay. Whether it’s to your phone or Sapnap, that, isn’t really clear. Still, Sapnap’s words sound more distant, more of what wonders are made of. On the screen, a twitter notification of a certain Karl Jacobs.

“You’re not even listening to me anymore,” Sapnap whines.

“I don’t listen to whiny babies, sorry.”

“We’re on the verge of divorce, yn and it’s your fault.”

A scoff skitters out through teasing lips, “But you still talk about me all the time, don’t you?” Your voice drags through different lands, unknown and musky.

“So what?” He splutters all awkward like it’s some kind of confidence that shouldn’t have left his thoughts and, somehow, you’re surprised the almighty confidence has left the game. “Who said that?”

“Doesn’t matter. You’re obsessed with me, admit it,” you demand and though you don’t notice it, too tangled with the moment, the atmosphere is tinted with a different nuance like it’s suddenly dawn at the end of a summer party.

“So are you.”

Now, your heart drums a strange yet familiar rhythm. Something made of secrets and uncertainty, something you decided to leave unnamed a long time ago. Sapnap, you reason, can’t be lied to. He knows better than words half meant, half made up and it’s annoying, really, but he just does somehow. If you dare to lie, he would know and then it would be even more annoying.

“Yeah, you’re living in my head rent free but at least I’m not trying to hide it.” No answer. You peek at the game, you’ve been slain by a spider. “Karl said that,” you resign yourself. “He said he was about to join the vc by the way.”

Before the conversation can carry on, the sound of Karl joining the call resonates. Being in this Discord server is like living in a house with 10 siblings, that’s what you understand from the way Sap exhales heavily.

“Oh, I am interrupting something?” Karl says, struck by a peculiar energy.

“Besties time Karl, besties time,” Sapnap mumbles beneath his breath and it chimes a little like disappointment.

“Well, too bad I guess,” Karl exclaims. “It's about time I meet miss Bunnyshow.”

Karl is like that gif of a cat sitting in a tiny box with the caption “if it fits, I sit”.

“Does that mean our passive aggressive subweet arc is over?” You ask, faking the dejection when your smile grows wide.

“Oh god, I hope not. That’s my favorite part of the day.”

"It means a lot to me. Especially coming from my comfort streamer Karl Jacobs," you confess.

Satisfied, your attention gets back on the game; flowers rooting gracefully into the dirt and hives ready to host the beloved honey bugs as Karl and Sap catch up on time being apart. Everything is quiet and peaceful like the end of an afternoon well spent.

“I like your garden,” Karl points out and you hum a thank you beneath your breath.

“So you can take Karl’s compliments but not mine.”

“We’re besties you’re honor. Sapnap you can leave now, thank you,” Karl giggles and you follow along.

“Sorry Karl, there’s only room for one man in my heart and that has to be Sapnap.”

He fakes a cry to keep the theatrics before adding without transitions, “You know if you asked Dream he’d probably let you on the SMP.”

“No thanks,” you grin.

“Sapnap, your girl doesn’t want to play with us.”

“She’s already been whitelisted for months now,” Sapnap informs but fails to comment on the first part of the complaint.

He’s not lying, but you feel like it says more about Dream’s stubbornness than it says about you. As for your best friend, he understands better than anyone that wish for privacy and it’s something made of respect like yours for his career. You’d rather see him shaped by all the light than being touched by a glimpse of it. He does, after all, deserves it all. So, that’s the contract you made with yourself because it made sense; being a supportive shadow. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that you’ve never considered streaming before. It’s that it’s his world more than yours.

Karl, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to think the same way, “This is unacceptable, I gotta send a few texts.”

“Lost cause, dude, lost cause,” you grin but stubbornness seems to be a pre required trait for those mcyts.

Before you have time to find a suitable comment about the newborn group chat, a new person joins the call and Sapnap's annoyance is even more palpable, "No fucking way dude. We can't even have a second of peace on this server."

"Why would you be in a discord call if you want peace. You're just dumb," Quackity retorts with an energy he and he only can ever own.

Then George joins and Dream follows on his heels and soon your ears are filled with conversations that are as loud as scattered. Your shoulders sink in the back of your chair as soft fingers try to brush the upcoming migraine away. This is why you can't join the SMP; -not really but still- too much energy that has to be processed at all time. And you should know better, being friend with a very chaotic boy for the last 15 years, but you're not somehow.

"No, fuck that," Sapnap mutters. "I'm out."

"You can't leave now we have things to discuss," George exclaims. "Bunny, explain to me how Sapnap's proposition is more appealing than mine."

"Because I know her more than you do," he defends, and he's right. Money isn't of you interest. Love, on the other hand...

"Because she's like scronch'love," Karl giggles mindlessly.

"The fuck does scronch'love mean?" You ask, amused.

"It's very simple," Quackity intervenes. "If I offered you the same thing, would you even consider it?"

"Of course I would. What kind of question is that?"

"Fine. So, if Sapnap keeps his offer, here is mine; you become the president of Las Nevadas in addition to what he said."

"What?" Sapnap takes offense.

The call brims with an agitated confusion as you smile deviously, heels rooted into the floor to make your chair spin lightly and your fingers drum on your desk.

"I don't think you wanna do that," George corrects.

"Yeah, you absolutely don't," you confirm.

"Fine," he retorts. "So Sapnap's offer plus a Las Nevadas citizenship. How does that sound?"

"Like an offer I'll confider," you sigh. "So who's scronch'love now?"

"Still you," Dream answers. "Except you're also a big dummy."

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・　　 .・゜゜・　　・゜゜・

A/N : helloooo,, how are you??? this part very self indulgent and I think this fic will be in general but I hope you liked it anyway. I love the idea of c!quackity always being too much and always having something to add to be even more over the top. I'm having more trouble than I thought about Bunny's and Sap's friendship because I want them to have a very special friendship but I hope it appears as such. idk. lmk what you think and thank you for reading it it makes me very happy <3 Until next time (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)

Taglist : @open-minded-chip-101 ; @itsoakaa ; @gaysludge ; @tinyegg ; @qnfdnf​ ; @paintingpetalsforyou ; @notjennaleigh ; @victoria-a567 ; @washy-washy ; @moneybagmarvel ;

[about-faces]

BATMAN: THE LONG HALLOWEEN MOVIE LIVEBLOG (1/?)

Opening scene! I see they got rid of the Godfather pastiche of “On this, the day of my daughter’s wedding!” shit entirely, moving the location of Bruce and the Roman’s meeting to the latter’s penthouse. Is the screenwriter trying to make this movie stand on its own, or is it a tacit admission that all of Loeb’s Godfather references were cheap and lazy? Let’s see! 

Oh hey, they gave Bruce an actual reason to say “I believe in Gotham City.” In the comic, he just says it because Loeb wants people to go “Yes, I’ve seen The Godfather too!” There’s no reason for Bruce to say it, given that he immediately moves onto talking about something else entirely. At least here it’s backed up by the context of his conversation with the Roman. Already, this movie is bending over backwards to make Loeb’s plot make sense.

Between this and all the screenshots I’ve already seen, Harvey Dent always looks angry and/or evil with constant downturned eyebrows. Before he was Two-Face, he was Resting-Bitch-Face.

The opening credits showing Tim Sale’s art feels like a half-assed way to deal with the fact that the animation style, though stylized in its own way, in no way resembles Sale’s art which really made TLH a hit. It’s like they’re saying “We can’t do it justice, but we can at least pay tribute to it with the opening credits,” but all it’s doing is highlighting how this isn’t Sale’s art. With its heavy cel shading, it’s more like Batman The Brave and the Bold on low battery.

Johnny Viti is a snitch for Harvey! Already the story is strengthening the idea from the comics that (name redacted) is the killer, by establishing an actual connection between Harvey and Viti! 

Seriously, is Harvey going to make this stinkface this whole movie? And how much is this movie going to abuse obvious foreshadowing the way the comic did?

Johnny Viti has been shot and killed. So they’ve cut the comic plot point of Viti murdering the banker Richard Daniel in front of his wife. Again, this creates a direct correlation between Harvey’s dealings with Viti and Viti’s murder, making it tighter and more sensical than the comic. Although I’m not sure where Viti was even shot. His head was exposed, but no blood is appearing behind it, just dripping down his hand and filling the tub. Whatever, compared to the comic, this is already a masterpiece of plotting.

GOD HELP ME I’M DOING THIS

Alfred is sad that no children are showing up at Wayne Manor on Halloween, despite the fact that he’s not even standing by the terrifying front gates and somehow expecting children to walk, like, a fucking mile up to their front door. Jesus, Alfred, at least make an effort before you give up! You’re giving out full-sized candy bars, they WILL at least show up to the creepy gates for that!

So they’re also adapting Bruce’s Scrooge-like arc from Loeb and Sale’s Legends of the Dark Knight Special: Ghosts, eh? Not a bad idea.

Alfred ghosts on Bruce mid-sentence! Cute implication that Bruce learned it from years of Alfred dealing with his batcrap and “nope”-ing out.

Tiny Babs and James Jr! Aw, look at JJ, being a happy normal kid and instead of the creepy “psychopath” he was retconned into being by Scott Snyder.

Aw, Gordon’s an adorable dad. He’s even playful and joking! Wow, I feel like I’ve never seen him be a sweet, loving dad to his kids, at least not when they actually were kids. It’s always conflict, angst, and/or neglect.

Ahhh okay there’s the “sorry family, my horrible job calls” moment. Well, it works better after showing him and his family actually being happy for once. The way it plays out in the comics, it’s a wonder that Barbara hasn’t just divorced him already, especially after his affair and JJ almost getting killed in Batman: Year One. 

Harvey returns home, still sporting that horrible face and looming like a sinister fridge. This is not a Harvey that instills tragedy so far.

HI, I’M BOB EVIL. 

Oh, he switched on the light and now his features have softened? Is this how they’re establishing his duality, that he spends his nights out and about like Mr. Hyde (even when he’s winning elections and looking his best for the press) and turns back into Jekyll at home or with friends? Interesting. Interesting. I hate it. 

Gilda lives outside, apparently, enjoying a nice dinner of cigarettes and wine, wrapped in her Depression Blankie.

She seems to be in a depressive haze, almost a dissociative state where she barely acknowledges Harvey at first even when he speaks to her. Then she realizes he’s there and her mood brightens because OH BOY OH BOY HARVEY’S HOME HARVEY’S HOME! Given how Gilda of the comics had absolutely no life, hobbies, nor interests outside of Harvey, this doesn’t bode well. But I’ve already been spoiled that this Gilda does have more of a backstory, which gets some big foreshadowing in the next moment.

Gilda, internally: “Oh shit.”

“Shit shit shit.”

“Shit fuck fuck fuck shit.”

“THINK, GILDA, THINK! PLAY IT COOL! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FU”

“SMOOTH.”

“Oh thank fuck.”

So okay, in keeping with the DC Universe in general, therapy just doesn’t exist here. Only snuggles and black and white movies with your spouse when he finally gets home from work and--

Harvey sees the Bat Signal and his jerkass scowl returns, while Gilda’s brief happiness vanishes. Time for Harvey to ditch.

If I squint my eyes and pretend that no greater story exists, I love this screenshot. 

“Oh cigarettes and booze, you’d never leave me.”

Okay, let’s see how they play out the famous rooftop meeting of the trio, which is usually credited to Loeb but was in fact created by two separate stories in 1990 by Bill Messner-Loebs (in the comic strips) and “Eye of the Beholder” by Andrew Helfer. Yes, I am still salty that even Christopher Nolan and David Goyer give Loeb credit for that, why do you ask? 

The familiarity between Batman and Harvey is played a lot colder than it did in the comic, which built off Batman: Year One’s clandestine partnership between the two. Don’t tell me this Harvey is going to be a bitter asshole to Batman as well as Bruce Wayne in this version. Hopefully it’s just a bad line delivery and Harvey’s stinkface making this seem worse than it will be.

Ah, I see they’re bringing in some of Nolan’s The Dark Knight into this Harvey, having him rage at Gordon for the failures of the police. Also, having him furious at his stoolie’s murder is an interesting change, given how callous he was about Viti’s death in the comics. 

Viti was about to turn state’s evidence against the Roman, and his testimony would have been damning enough to “put the whole family away,” so Harvey assumes the murder was a mob hit. I’m not sure what the killer’s motivation is going to be in this movie, but if it was to give Harvey less work so he’d go home (as in the comics), they sure as fuck screwed that up! Now he’s going to have to be in the office 24/7, starting again from square one! This will either be a major plot hole or indicative of a greater tragedy to come, depending on how the screenwriter has changed things. 

Batman wants to see the jack-o-lantern left behind at the crime scene, and Jim Gordon goes, “You think it’s important?” It’s literally evidence left behind by the killer, Jim! Of course it’s important! How the fuck did you make Captain?! Was it because every other cop was already out of work because they were corrupt?! 

Here, it’s Gordon who proposes the three of them work together, with an emphasis on Harvey and Batman being two sides of the same coin in a way that’s every bit as on-the-nose as what I just said there. I do like anything that emphasizes how Batman gets to be Harvey’s dark side before he goes off and gets one of his own, with blackjack and hookers. 

UGH. I guess even this script can’t resist Loeb’s penchant for dredging out obvious cliche idioms that heavy-handedly reference Two-Face. On top of that, the way this plays is like Harvey and Batman are rivals who are being forced to play nice by Jim Gordon, like they’re dolls he’s shoving together and saying “NOW KISS.” 

This time, both Batman and Harvey ditch Gordon mid-speech. I like that. 

I see they got rid of Falcone’s penchant for wearing a rose lapel, an addition by Loeb/Sale which was an obvious Vito Corleone reference. Interesting how this keeps distancing itself from The Godfather. It’s like it wants to both celebrate the comic while also trying to make it more original and coherent. If so, it’s a tacit admission that the comic was derivative and poorly-plotted?

Falcone puts the blame for Johnny Viti’s death squarely on Dent, whose legal shit-stirring had made the Roman’s rivals--like Maroni--suddenly bolder. In another bit of foreshadowing, I note that Alberto perks up at Dent’s name. Also, the Roman next has his bodyguard throw a mouthy goon down a stairwell because he comes from the Wilson Fisk school of wasteful human resources.

Okay, I’m burned out here, and I’m barely a third of the way through the first part. So I’m 1/6th of the way through the whole thing. FML let’s continue this tomorrow.

EDIT: Part 2 is up!

[winterscaptain]

buffer.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

a/n: takes place after constellations and before through and through. this is just a fun little piece before i continue my descent into Ouchtown, USA with the ajf 100 arc. i am really excited to include more of these early-series ‘home scenes’ with the hotchners and reader!

an ajf fic that requires no context!

words: 2.6k warnings: language

summary: happy 3rd birthday, jack! it’s a family affair, in more ways than one. 

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | requests closed!

“So, how do you know the Hotchners?” A handsome man, probably just a little younger than Aaron (but significantly shorter), asks, filling his plate beside you.

“I work with Hotch - Aaron - Jack’s Dad - at the DoJ.” You keep your tone neutral, polite. There’s something off about him - he’s a little overeager, a little too comfortable in the Hotchner house. 

“Ah,” he says. “A profiler.” 

With a little laugh in your voice, you ask, “Are you familiar with the field?”

“Haley’s told me a little bit, but I wouldn’t call myself an expert, no.”

“I see. Do you know Haley well?”

“Yeah, my son is in Jack’s preschool class.” There’s still something he’s not telling you, but nevertheless, he sticks his hand out and you shuffle your plate to take it. “I’m Joseph. It’s nice to meet you.” 

Joseph. Not Joe. 

What happens if you call him Joe? 

Pin that for later. 

You introduce yourself and continue to make small talk for another few minutes, noting that he’s filled a second plate - you can only assume it’s for someone else. 

Let’s keep an eye on this one...

+++

“I’m so happy you all could make it.” 

You jolt back into your body after zoning out for a couple of minutes, finding yourself alone at one of the patio tables with Haley. A smile breaks across your face. “Me too.”

She snacks on a chip, delicately covering her mouth as she asks, “Is there anything exciting you’re all working on right now?”

Since when is Haley interested in cases? 

“Kind of. I head out to Colorado with Emily and Spencer tomorrow to go visit a religious cult on a compound in the mountains.” She laughs, and you follow suit. “So, it’s the little things, I guess.” 

“Very few things have changed, then?”

You nod, a knowing smile on your face. “Exactly.” 

There’s quiet for a moment and your eyes wander across the yard out of habit, taking stock of all the preschoolers running around, their parents at the perimeter. 

“Oh!” She sits forward, pulling her knee to her chest and propping her heel on the edge of her chair. 

You look back at her expectantly. 

“Did you like the book? Catch-22 is one of Aaron’s favorites. I think I wrote that in the note, but…” She gestures vaguely. “I thought it would be helpful.” 

Smacking your hand to your forehead, you laugh a little. “Oh, it was! I completely forgot to send a thank-you note, Haley, I’m sorry.” You lean forward conspiratorially. “I loved it. It was such a thoughtful birthday present. Thank you” 

Her nose scrunches up as she smiles. It’s adorable. “Good. I’m so glad.” 

+++

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” Dave sidles up to you, eating a piece of cake. 

You follow his gaze, where Haley, Joseph, and their boys are kicking a soccer ball around. Haley’s full of laughter and unnecessary touches, but that’s not a new observation. 

You’ve had Joseph-not-Joe’s number since he first spoke with you. He seemed far too interested in getting to know the people close to Haley to be without ulterior motive. 

“I’m seeing something. I’m not sure what it is, yet.” You take a sip of your drink, letting your eyes wander. 

“Not for nothing,” Dave says, “and, of course, this stays between us -” 

“Of course.” 

“- But Aaron thought Haley was seeing someone before they got divorced, in the spring before you joined the team.” 

You hum. “Interesting. Do you think this is the guy?”

This is definitely the guy. 

“Well, there’s more to their relationship than ‘our kids go to preschool together,’ don’t you think?”

“Yeah, I do.” Your eyes wander to Aaron, who’s chatting with a couple of the parents, Emily at his side. He’s distracted, also focused on Haley and Joseph with the boys on the other side of the yard. “Give me a second, would you, Dave?” You absently hand him your drink as you cross over to the small cluster. 

“Hey, Hotch,” you put a hand on his shoulder with an apologetic smile to the mom you just interrupted. “I think we have a little bit of a crisis in the kitchen. Can I steal you for a minute?”

With a grateful look only you and Emily pick up on, he says, “Sure.” With a rueful smile and wave to the other parents, he leaves Emily to her own devices. Much to her (and your) relief, JJ and Will are on their way, ready to save her from the inane conversation. 

“What’s up?” Aaron asks, his brow just a little furrowed. 

Triple checking that the house is empty, you lead him into the kitchen and lean against the counter, crossing your arms. “What’s going on with you?” 

His eyes flicker around the room before settling back on you and his jaw is tight. Somehow, he’s still trying to avoid you when you’ve made it impossible. “What do you mean?” 

You level him with a Really? look. “Tell me.” 

“Fine.” He leans back and mirrors you, crossing his arms. With only a little bit of reluctance, he shares, “This is the first big event...thing since the divorce and I -” He huffs. “I don’t know how to be a divorced parent when I’m...in front of people? I don’t know.” 

You cross the kitchen and lean against the counter beside him, the heels of your hands resting on the marble. “You’re not alone. We’re here with you and nobody expects you to be perfect.” You laugh lightly. “There are at least seven divorced couples out in your yard right now. Weirdly, it’s normal.” 

He shrugs. “I guess.” His eyes wander to the window, where Haley and Joseph are still visible with some of the other parents, seated around one of the patio tables. Joseph’s arm rests casually on the back of Haley’s chair. 

That’s it. 

“What’s going on with those two?” You pointedly match his focus and Aaron sighs. 

“Did I ever tell you I thought Haley was seeing someone before we were divorced?” 

You shake your head, only a little thrilled he’s choosing to share this with you so soon after Dave read you into the secret. 

“I think that’s the guy.” 

“I was wondering about him, myself. He seemed a little…eager,” you say with a laugh. 

Aaron rolls his eyes. “He thinks he’s subtle, but I’d also imagine it’s rough to be the mistress when the ex is an FBI profiler.” 

You snort. “True.” 

Aaron’s hand covers yours and you look down, the contact shooting a spark through your arm and down your spine. 

Isn’t that the biggest cliche on the planet? 

“Thank you,” he says. “Thank you for being here.”

You look up again, meeting his eyes. “You’re welcome.” With a smile, you add, “I’ll always be here to save you from suburban moms and your ex-wife’s boyfriends.” 

The smile you get in return warms you from your scalp to your toes. 

+++

A couple of hours have passed, and Aaron settles into his role as the birthday boy’s dad. He’s been particularly demonstrative with Jack, but it’s all genuine. He chased him around the yard, threw him over his shoulder, covered him in kisses, and just generally lavished him in all the love of which he’s bereft while away on cases. 

It’s simultaneously weird and very normal to see him with that face-splitting grin. It looks at home there, and you wish you had the pleasure of seeing it more often. 

Watching father and son together is something special. The resemblance is often uncanny, even more so now as Aaron has Jack propped on his hip, chatting away, almost nose-to-nose. You’re only aware of the soft smile on your face when Jessica, Haley’s sister, plops down beside you. 

“Those two are something else, aren’t they?” She says with a little smile. 

You nod. “Two peas in a pod, for sure.” 

You’re both quiet for a moment, watching Haley jog up to the two of them, her cheeks flushed in the autumn chill. She lays a hand on Aaron’s arm as she speaks, her other hand rising to Jack’s face to rub some frosting off his cheek. 

“How’s it been on his end? Being apart?” 

You look over at Jess. “It’s been alright. He stays even later in the office, if you can believe it -”

“Is that even possible?”

“You’d be surprised,” you laugh. “I’ve been thinking about getting him a shock collar or something so I can train him to be home by eleven.” 

She snorts. “That would be a sight, wouldn’t it?”

The two of you share a raucous bout of laughter, drawing the attention of both Aaron and Haley. Their confused looks only make you laugh harder, and pretty soon you and Jess are clutching each other for dear life. 

You don’t know her well, but you imagine you’ll jump that hurdle. You’re already halfway there. 

In fact, the original thought isn’t even that funny anymore - you’re just laughing for the sake of it. It feels good.

+++

You find yourself next to Haley as the cleanup proceedings begin. She’s got a little smile on her face, and you take a moment to admire just how lovely she is. 

Haley, you think, is a bit like the sun. She’s bright, but will burn the shit out of you if you’re not careful. 

She glances up at you, blue eyes warm in the waning October sunshine. “Thank you.”

You hold up handfuls of wrapping paper and shrug. “No problem. Happy to help.”

“No,” she laughs. “I mean thank you for looking out for Aaron.” She lowers her voice and leans in toward you. “I know he’s not always cooperative.” 

You suppress a rueful smile. “Haley, I don’t -”

She lays a hand on your arm. “I know. Just…” Her eyes wander across the yard, where Aaron’s passing (a very pregnant) JJ a glass of water. “Thank you.” 

“I wish I could say it was my pleasure but...” you pull a yikes face and it makes her laugh again. 

+++

You end up spending much of your time together as she thanks guests and people start to go home. There’s a kind of camaraderie that develops between you and it feels like you’ve known each other for years. 

Her temperament tells you a lot about Aaron. They way they must have functioned together through the years. They’re so different, complementary, but you can see how things could get heated fast between them (good or bad).

She’s surprisingly affectionate by nature, her fingers glancing over your shoulder to direct you to tasks you’ve offered to help with, pressing a kiss to her sister’s temple as she passed her on the porch, holding onto Aaron’s forearm when she’s talking to him, and most notably, embracing Joseph by his car as he leaves, lingering only a little longer than she should. 

Nevertheless, you’re almost impressed by their restraint. You haven’t caught them on anything major, and it’s been close to eight hours since he arrived. You’re sure you haven’t seen the last of Joseph-not-Joe. 

Haley wears her emotions on her face. She can’t hide a thing. It’s refreshing. 

+++

You lean on the porch railing, enjoying the crispness of the early autumn evening. Dave stands beside you for a while in silence. When he’s had his fill of your tacit company, he kisses you on the cheek and bugs out with Spencer. 

Will takes JJ home a few minutes later. There’s a little smile on your face as you watch her take his arm down the front path, leaning on him. 

They’ll do well together. 

Soon, everyone else is gone, and you’re only a little concerned you’ve overstayed your welcome. Jess tells you you’re being ridiculous as you rearrange the fridge for leftovers. 

“When has my sister ever kicked anyone out of her house while they’re still of use?”

You take a moment, fighting a smile. “Thanks, Jess.” 

“As far as I’m concerned, the BAU is part of my extended family.” She bumps your shoulder. “And family is always welcome in a Brooks house.” 

+++

Even when it’s time for you to go home, it isn’t. 

Jack almost breaks down in tears when you kneel to hug him goodbye, so you’re trapped. It’s not like you can leave him, right? Not when he holds you hostage with those big brown eyes. 

Identical to Aaron’s. 

Funny enough, you can’t deny him anything either. 

Oh, that’s enough. 

Haley catches you by the forearm as Jack runs back to his dad, who gently launches him onto the couch. “You can sneak out, if you want to go home. I’ll distract Jack.” 

You raise your eyebrows. “And leave you without your buffer? Not a chance.” 

You’re rewarded with another laugh and she lets you go, shaking her head. She can’t say you’re wrong. As much as she and Aaron can fitfully coexist on their own, it’s much more comfortable with you around. 

Haley might love him, but she doesn’t always like him. You, for some reason, make it easier to like him.

She resolves to think a little more about that, for future reference. 

About twenty minutes later, you assume your role as the buffer and land between Haley and Aaron on the couch, with Jessica on her other side. Jack’s stretched out across all of you, his head in his mom’s lap and his little arm hanging off the edge. You managed to find a movie he actually wanted to watch, but you suspect he’ll be long asleep by the time it’s over.  

Aaron’s phone buzzes and he maneuvers it out of his pocket. Being nosy, you peer over him without disturbing Jack. 

Strauss.  

He answers it, quietly. “Hotchner.”

You can feel Haley’s disappointment and residual resentment without even looking at her. 

He continues to speak in hushed tones, drawing little patterns on the back of Jack’s calves as he does so. “Ma’am, I’ll take care of that when I’m back in the office...No ma’am, I’m with my family at the moment...Yes...Thank you, ma’am...You too.” Aaron takes a second and silences his phone, stretching a little to set it on the end table. 

You’re sure the rest of you are wearing matching expressions of shock. 

“It can wait.” He shrugs like it’s nothing and turns his attention back to the screen.

Turning to look at Haley, you find her staring at Aaron with a kind of soft surprise and pride in her eyes. You feel a little like an intruder, so you drop your eyes to the back of Jack’s t-shirt under your fingertips. 

In the rapidly-approaching darkness, Haley reaches for your hand and you take it, your hands landing on Jack’s little shoulder blade. You drop your head onto Aaron’s shoulder, leaning into the casual familiarity of the moment.

It’s nice to feel like family. 

“Thank you,” he says. It’s hardly a breath, let alone speech. 

You nod once. Anytime. 

If either one of them asked, you’d keep them from tearing their heads off forever. It’s not a far reach from your everyday responsibilities, you already do it for Aaron and Derek. Trading out one temper for another is almost easy. 

Aaron looks down the line when the credits start to roll, finding Jess and Haley with their eyes closed, leaning against each other. You’ve been out for a little while, now tucked under his arm where it’s stretched across the back of the couch. One of your hands still loosely holds Haley’s while the other rests on the middle of Jack’s back. His lips twitch up into a smile as he rests his head against the back of the couch. 

Maybe it will be alright.

+++

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @wandaswitxh @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @good-heavens-chris-evans @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @gublergirls @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @hotchsflower @ogmilkis @marvels-agents100 @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @whoreforhotch @pinkdiamond1016 @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em @word-scribbless @jdougl-love @sageellsworth05 @nohalohoseok @giveusbackourbucky @writerxinthedark @bauslut @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @buckybau @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandice-ray @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @violentvulgarvolatile  @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst @bwbatta @roses-and-grasses @lcvischmitt @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @mandylove1000 @garcia-reid-lovechild  @cevanswhre @qvid-pro-qvo @jeor @spencers-hoodrat @infinity1321 @zizzlekwum @popped-weasels @evee87 @nuvoleincielo @this-broken-band-girl @reidtomestyles @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @winqhster

[sasuhinasno1fan]

‘Secret Relationship’ - Lukadrien June Day 26

My mind went to Hart of Dixie when I read the prompt so yeah. Lemon was a lot to deal with so I felt like Chloe would be her but they have redemption arcs, don't worry. And hey, she and Zoe get along here, so it's ok. Secret Relationships

He didn’t have to say anything, really. As much as he loved this small town, for some reason, it didn’t love him back. Even though he grew up with summers here, helping his mom in the practise and hanging out with Chloe, when he left for a few years to become a doctor and try and land a residency, everything changed. Chloe was ten times more intense and her overprotectiveness of her half-sister and hatred of her mother made her unbearable, nothing like the girl he remembered. People seemed to think he was a completely different person that the very idea of him being their friend was something to be scared of. Like now, he’d been secret friends with Sabrina, helping her gain more confidence to stand up to Chloe - who he’d hope would eventually talk to him and explain why she was acting the way she was – and she’d been chosen as Memory Matron, basically a person who ran the town’s traditions and tried to preserve a few old historic buildings. Chloe of course wanted it and was obviously upset, but Adrien was proud of Sabrina for taking charge. He’d been hoping it would mean they could hang out in public but she said she couldn’t since most people in the town ‘hated him’. It still hurt to hear and see, after calling this small town his home, and not just because his mother was one of the doctors.

When his parents split and his mom was busy with the divorce, the town practically came together to help raise him until he had to go back to his dad, the unfortunate part of the deal between them. he’d been in Paris for a few years, hoping to get high up before coming to help his mom out. His mom had been sick during then and made those who knew, promise not to tell him and leave before he could get his fellowship. When he got here, his mom was on her deathbed and the sudden announcement that he’d take over her half of the practise was a surprise and a lot of people thought he choose the job over his mom. Chloe’s dad was his partner and certainly didn’t want to share, there was a minor incident involving a parade float that he got blamed for and apparently delivering a baby at an engagement party was in poor taste. Though, he’d blame that last one on Nath’s mom, since she never got along with his own and she was just passing on the dislike to him.

Point was, here Chloe was, with Sabrina keys, the keychain he’d given her earlier dangling from the ring, and the blonde was looking smug, thinking she was going to get what she wanted after all, basically announcing that he and Sabrina were friends and that was against the law.

He loved Chloe and he might be mad at Sabrina for choosing a position over him, but he wasn’t about to let Chloe win. “My keys!” he got up from his table and practically sprinted to the front of the room, snatching them from Chloe’s hand. “I’ve been looking for these everywhere. Thanks for finding them Sabrina.”

Chloe scoffed. She might hate her mom, but her attitude was fitting her more and more each day. “You have keys with your own name on it? Self-obsessed much?”

“No that’s you. these are keys I made for someone else.” He looked across the restaurant, trying to decide who. It’d have to be a date; the whole town had been gossiping about him dating someone. Finally, he made his decision and walked over to the bar, relishing a little in Luka’s confused expression. “I think it’s time we stop hiding things. Here, it’s for the carriage house. Try not to be late this time.” He grabbed his stuff and left, letting out a breath once he was as far from the Liberty’s Hardrock.

He just told the whole town he was dating Luka, his kinda sometimes annoying neighbour, who had a heart of gold that hide beneath all those piercings and hair dye. There was a minor make out when he moved back, since he’d completely changed and Adrien was a little drunk of wine, then when the heatwave hit and he almost went further and then the moment they shared during Christmas. Adrien wasn’t going to lie, when he was a kid, he thought Luka was the coolest and the years had been very good to him. But he hadn’t been ready to date anyone, his last attempt ended up sleeping with someone before their date could even happen. He wanted to put a pause, but now to protect someone, he was.

He just hoped Luka didn’t kill him for leaving him to answer questions everyone was sure to have.

                                                  ________________

Luka knocked on the door to the carriage house an hour later. Adrien was sent back to the last time Luka knocked on the door, with Nino tagging along to try and find Adrien’s mystery man.

“Hi.” Adrien greeted, taking in the ruffled appearance Luka had compared to the more put together one from before. “What happened to you?”

“Courtesy the very curious towns people. Thanks for leaving me there. Still think you should have let Sabrina sink.”

Adrien let the bartender in and headed back to his bedroom. “I’m not that type of person. I helped Sabrina earn that head place and maybe if appearance didn’t matter so much, things would have been different. That and if the town didn’t think I’d choose a fellowship over my ailing mom.”

Luka dropped himself on the bed next to Adrien. “You know all you have to do is ask Marc and he’d release that recording on the gossip cite.”

“And get him fired from being a lawyer’s assistant, no thanks. I’ll prove it to them myself. Now, I think we need to talk secret relationship. You know as well as I do if we break up way too suddenly, Chloe will know we were lying and Sabrina will pay for it.”

Luka shook his head, clearly wanting to say more but clearly knew when to stop poking. “Alright. What do we say?”

“Ok, why did we hide our relationship? When did we start going out?”

“Started after Christmas. And…” Luka let out a hum, trying to think before he snapped his fingers. “You have a tendance to put others before yourself and since the town is weary of you, you didn’t want to get me in trouble. Me being the town rebel doesn’t care and has been looking for an excuse to spill about this ‘secret relationship’ since we got together.”

“Luka.”

“Hey, you wanted to know what the story is, it’s the one that makes the most sense.”

Adrien shook his head. “I can’t believe I’m doing this. I was supposed to not be dating anyone but thank you for going along with this.”

“You’re lucky your worth it.”

                                                ______________

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you and Luka were dating!”

Adrien listened to Marc talk about what happened last night. he was used to people staring at him but now it was intense. Was him dating someone that big a deal?

“How long has it been going on? Wait, is he the guy everyone’s been whispering about? The one you’ve been so giddy over?”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” He happed to see Chloe, her sister and Sabrina passing by. “Hey, I’m gonna go to the corner store and get ice cream.”

Marc looked confused and glanced at his watch. “It’s like 8 am? Don’t you have to be at the office soon?”

“Like Andre wouldn’t revile in me being a bit late. I’ll see you later!”

Minutes later, Adrien was in the corner store, hiding by the freezers waiting for a head of red hair. Finally Sabrina showed up. He pulled her keys he’d gotten from Luka and passed them to her.

“Here. Luka had to keep the keychain.”

“He deserves it more than me.” Sabrina looked sorry for herself and Adrien had been there when she started crying when they couldn’t be friends anymore. “So I guess it isn’t true? You just did it to protect me?”

“Yeah. I want to be friends with Chloe again, but she’s gonna have to learn not to be so selfish. You deserve this spot. You stood up to her and you proved you’ve got what it takes. I just, I need friends who are gonna stick by me. And I guess Luka is one of them, doing this for me.”

“I know it’s fake but I think you two would be good for each other.”

Adrien shrugged. Would they? Since moving back, even though they could poke each other buttons, he always knew he could count of Luka for help or just be there. Any other person would have asked for something in return, but Luka was different.

‘You’re lucky your worth it.’

He usually said that when Adrien would beg him to do something for him. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but he like it when Luka said that, made him feel special.

He left the corner store and almost crashed into Luka, who was being followed by Alya and Marinette, friends of there but also people behind the town’s gossip cite. Adrien could only guess why they’d been following him around.

“Hey, I was just heading to the office.”

“Cool, so I’ll see you at the restaurant for lunch?” Luka asked.

Adrien nodded and before he could even say anything else, Luka had his arms around his waist and his lips pressed against his.

They’d shared a kiss before but it was a memory Adrien didn’t look at with the biggest fondness. This however, was much better.

“I’ll see you later.” Luka whispered against his lips before he was gone. Adrien didn’t even hear Alya and Marinette grill him.

If this was a fake secret relationship, why did it feel so real?

[danurso]

Ice Knight

Weiss: *sighs in depression*

Jaune: what's wrong?

Weiss: my father. . .he took my title of heiress of the SDC.

Jaune: what!? Can he even do that!?

Weiss: unfortunately, yes.

Jaune: and can't you do anything about it? Or someone else on your family?

Weiss: i'm afraid not. My sister gave up on her title long ago and my brother is too young to decide if he want the SDC or not, plus he's a puppet that my dad controls so i doubt he would want to help me. 

Jaune: what about your mother?

Weiss: My mother does have power over everything since the SDC is hers and dad just married on the name, but even so all she does in her life is drink her depression away, she doesn't care for the SDC or me, so i doubt she would help me.

Jaune: right. And why did your father took your title of heiress in the first place?

Weiss: because i wanted to come back to my friends.

Jaune: just because of that!?

Weiss: *nods*

Jaune: *gets up, clenching his jaw* i'll be right back. *starts to walk away*

Weiss: where are you going?

Jaune: i'm going to take back what your dad stole from you. *walks away*

Weiss: wait! Jaune. . .He left, what does he think he's doing? *sigh* forget it, i'll ask him later when he comes back*

*eight months later*

Ruby: weiss, are you okay?

Weiss: well, considering that we're all on a jet making our way towards atlas, the last place i wanted to go on this planet including the grimlands, i could be a lot better.

Yang: chill out ice queen, this time we're sticking with you.

Nora: Yeah! If your dad shows up we'll break his legs!

Pyrrha: i just wished jaune was also here with us.

Ruby: me too, he's been missing for eight months now, i wonder if he's okay.

Pilot: attention passengers, we're now landing at the schnee mansion, please get your things ready to leave. Mr.schnee is waiting for you.

Blake: shouldn't we land at the airport?

Weiss: we already have a special place for that on my home.

Yang: is there anything the schnees don't have?

Weiss: happiness?

Yang: ouch, i was joking ice queen, no need to drag us down like that.

Weiss: *sigh* sorry, i guess i'm just in a bad mood, i really don't wanna face my dad again.

Ruby: don't worry, we're here with you. *holds her hand and smiles*

Weiss: *with a small smile* i know. . .thanks ruby. *takes in a deep breath and lets it out in a long sigh* let's go.

The door of the aircraft slowly starts to open, already giving them a view of the schnee garden, weiss gulps knowing that her father is there waiting for her, but as the door completely opened she was shocked to see a familiar figure that wasn't her father.

Jaune: *waving* hey guys.

RWBY/_NPR: JAUNE!?

Jaune: that's my name.

Weiss: w-what are you doing here!?

Jaune: after our talk a few months ago i decided to come to atlas to try and find a way to give your title of hairess back to you.

Weiss: are you crazy!? My dad would never allow that!!

Blake: speaking of him, shouldn't he be here? The pilot said that mr.schnee was waiting for us.

Jaune: and he is.

Before they can ask where he is, the pilot comes out of the cabin and walks to jaune.

Pilot: they're all here sir, safe and sound like you requested.

Jaune: right, thank you for the good work nick.

Pilot: you're welcome mr.schnee. *walks away*

RWBY/_NPR: *freezes*

Weiss: wait. . .did he just call you mr.schnee?

Jaune: he did. *sheepishly* i already told him and a lot of other peoples that they don't need to be so formal around me but they insist in calling me like that.

Weiss: why are they calling you mr.schnee!?

Jaune: well, because-

????: dear~ why are you up so early?

Everyone turns to the door of the mansion where a woman that really looked like an older weiss was standing, with disheveled white hair, a sleepy face and wearing only a nightgown

Weiss: MOM!?!?

Jaune: im sorry sweetheart, but i had receive our guests.

Willow: *walks to jaune and hugs him, resting her face on his chest* you know i hate to wake up alone on that bed, don't you?

Jaune: *hugging her back* yeah i know, i'm sorry for that. *gently holds her face* i promise i'll make up for that later, okay?

Willow: okay *gives him a peck on the lips* arc word right?

Jaune: *smiling* arc word.

Weiss: EXCUSE ME!? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!?

Willow: *turns to them* hello weiss, it's been awhile. how are you?

Weiss: DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT!! WHY ARE YOU CLINGING ON AND KISSING ARC!?

Willow: *giggles* because i love him, obviously.

Weiss: that's still no excuse! What if father finds out about you and jaune being involved like this!?

Willow: *snort* he already knows about me and jaune.

Weiss: what!?

Jaune: yeah he does.

Willow: it would be weird if he didn't knew, our marriage was the main gossip around atlas for awhile.

Ruby: wait, marriage?

Weiss: don't tell me you two. . .

Jaune: *showing her a golden ring on his finger*

Willow: *doing the same* yes we are.

Weiss: *mouth agape* . . .how. . .how did that happened? What about father?

Willow: your father is being taken care of by winter, he needed to work somewhere after i kicked him out of the emprise and asked for the divorce and winter offered him a place at the military *grins* that was six months ago, all i heard about him after that was that he's been going through hell on the military camp.

Weiss: w-what about the SDC? Who's in charge now?

Willow: well, jaune of course.

Weiss: he's WHAT!?

Jaune: *looks back to her* technically, you're doing most of the work since i don't know how to deal with.

Willow: still, you're the boss.

Jaune: i am, but i would be lost without you.

Willow: you're smart, you'll end up getting the hang of it, soon enough you won't even need me there to help you.

Jaune: *pouts holding her by the waist* and not have you around me in the office? I rather stay the same.

Willow: *chuckles* honestly, how much of a dork can you be?

Jaune: as much of a dork as you want me to be.

Willow: good, now come here you dork. *pulls him into a kiss*

Jaune: *pulls her body closer while kissing her back*

Willow: *deepening the kiss until it turns into a heated make out*

Ruby: *blushing* t-they know we're watching, right?

Weiss: *also blushing* WILL YOU TWO STOP IT ALREADY!!!

Jaune: *breaking the kiss with a chuckle* sorry, i guess we got caught up by the mood.

Willow: agreed.

Weiss: *massaging her temples* oh my god, this is so awkward.

Jaune: it's not that bad.

Weiss: it is, very bad actually.

Jaune: i could be a lot worse. Speaking of worse, remember the talk we had about your dad a few months ago?

Weiss: the one before you disappeared?

Jaune: yup. I told you that i would take back what your father stole from you didn't i?

Weiss: yes, you did.

Jaune: well, thanks to my new position of leader of the SDC, i changed some things and managed to restore your title of heiress of the company.

Weiss: wait, really!?

Ruby: weiss, that's great!

Yang: congrats, just don't let it get over your head weiss-cream, we don't need to see the return of the stuck up ice queen from the start of beacon.

Blake: *nods*

Weiss: wait just a second, you came here to get my title back, and so you married my mom, kicked my dad out of the emprise and took over it just to return my title? Im thankful that you decided to go so far just to help me, but marrying my mom just for that doesn't make you any better than my father

Jaune: well. . .i actually didn't married your mother for that. See, when i came to atlas i decided to confront your dad about your title, but it didn't worked and he called the guards to kick me out of the mansion, i ran away and hid in one of the rooms of the house, coincidentally it was your mother's room. She looked so sad and lifeless clinging on a bottle of whiskey.

Willow: and that's exactly how i was feeling at that time.

Jaune: i tried to talk to her about you but sue wouldn't give me attention, she was just too broken to listen, and so i took upon myself to cheer her up, that way she could maybe help me to restore your title. The thing is, i. . . *blushes* kinda started to like her after some time.

Willow: same goes for me, seeing how such a kind and warm boy like jaune was willing to help me, a drunkard with nothing to offer to this world, sparked something i never felt in years.

Jaune: at first i felt a bit guilty because i knew that the reason why she was asking for divorce was because of me, but then klen told me everything you and your family got through in his hands, and so i helped her to get divorce and kick him out.

Willow: *smiling* after that me and jaune married and we're living a happy life ever since.

Jaune: yeah, i came here just to get your title back, but ended up staying because because of her.

Weiss: what about winter and whitley? Are they okay with this?

Jaune: i think your sister is okay with it, if the sadistic smile she had on her face when she dragged jacques off was any indication.

Weiss: what about whitley? He's always been father's puppet, i doubt he would just accept someone like jaune as his new-

Whitley: *coming in covered in dirt and sweat, carrying crocea mors and taking deep breaths*

Jaune: wow, you look exhausted. You okay?

Whitley: yeah. . .i just finished. . .the exercises you told me to do.

Jaune: and how it was?

Whitley: i just destroyed my first robot.

Jaune: wow, you're really getting stronger *pats his head* im proud of you champ.

Whitley: *smiles brightly*

Weiss: *extremely shocked* w-whitley?

Whitley: oh, hello sister, it's been a long while. I would give you a hug but as you can see, i'm a bit dirty.

Weiss: why are you dirty like this.

Whitley: jaune has been teaching me how to fight with a sword so i can be a huntsman some day.

Weiss: you want to be a what!?

Whitley: a huntsman. In the past i thought huntsman were barbaric people who had no sense of decency, but after i met jaune i realized that it was a lie, one of the many dad had told us. Jaune teached me that huntsman are brave and noble warriors who put their lives on the line for the sake of others, and one day i want to be like them, or at least like jaune.

Weiss: *speechless*

Jaune: if you wanna be more like me than go to your room and take a bath, i don't smell like that all the time.

Whitley: yes sir. *walks away*

Jaune: he's a good kid. . .weiss? You okay?

Weiss: i. . .i guess i'm trying to wrap my head around all of this, it's too surreal for me. I can't believe that you married my mom, a woman old enough to be your mother.

Willow: *muttering* well, he does call me mommy sometimes.

Jaune: i don't think there's a problem on that part, i mean, she might be old enough to be my mom but i still love her. *grins* Plus she still has the energy of a teenager and the body of a top model, so there's no downside in being married with her.

Weiss: *blushes* i don't need to know the details of your relationship okay?

Willow: *wrapping her arms on his neck* are you trying to flatter me my knight?

Jaune: *holding her waist* maybe. What if i am?

Willow: cause if you are, then you're doing a great job.

Jaune: thank you sweetheart.

Willow: don't thank me. *leaning on his chest and speaking sultrily* instead, why don't we get back to our room so i can show you how much you make me happy.

Jaune: aren't you tired after yesterday?

Willow: i just can't get enough of you, plus i can't get tired when i have this. *pulls out her flask*

Jaune: i thought you had stopped drinking?

Willow: and i did. *takes a sip of the flask* this is energetic, how do you think i keep up with you every single night?

Jaune: that explains why i saw klein carrying twelve boxes of energetic to our room last month.

Willow: the last time i drank alcohol was on our marriage, and it was just a glass of wine during the toast.

Jaune: i know, and i'm very proud of you for keeping yourself on the line for so long. *picks her up bridal style* guess i'll have to give you a reward for that.

Willow: i would love that.

Jaune: klein! 

Klein: *coming in* yes, mr.schnee?

Jaune: Please help our guests to feel welcomed, there are some important stuff i need to deal with right now.

Klein: as you wish mr.schnee.

Willow: *pulls him into a heated kiss*

Jaune: *carries her away while kissing her*

Weiss: . . .

Ruby: . . .

Blake: . . .

Yang: . . .well, that was something.

Ruby: are you okay weiss?

Weiss: yeah, i am, i just need some time to get used to jaune being my new step dad even though we have the same age. . .i can't understand why my mom would marry someone so much younger than her.

Ruby: it's okay, at least your mother is happy and healthy now, right?

Weiss: . . .i guess you're right.

Ruby: besides, couples with an age gap like this are normal, like, take your sister for example, she's dating my uncle qrow, even though uncle qrow is almost old enough to be her dad.

Weiss: wait, winter is dating who!?

Ruby: y-you didn't knew? *sheepishly* hehehe, sorry, i probably spoiled a surprise.

Yang: does anyone knows where ren, nora and pyrrha are?

Blake: last time i saw ren and nora they were carrying pyrrha's unconscious body to the house after jaune and willow started to make out the first time.

Yang: oh. . .makes sense.

[strange-destinations]

Hey Kitty, due to your stories I've started to seek out Benny & Brax stories. So far, I've simply picked a few boxsets (Legion and New Frontiers) where I spotted the fabulous Miles Richardson on the cover. I was wondering, is there a better way to go about this? Do you have any recommendations and/or a listening order you would suggest? Thanks in advance and I hope your wrist is getting better :)

Legion is... a bit of a tricky place to start in, all things considered. It’s kind of like throwing yourself in at the deep end, because it somewhat relies on knowledge of the previous few box sets (Epoch and Road Trip) and the characters that were introduced in those. Those, in turn, follow off the end of the Collection stories, but to be honest if you just want to jump in at the box sets that’s perfectly fine - Epoch’s made to kind of be the ‘jumping-on’ point. All you have to know is that at the beginning of Epoch, the universe has been sort of ‘reset’ and Benny’s looking for her son, Peter, who was lost in the resulting chaos. The rest kind of explains itself.

Brax isn’t in Epoch or Road Trip, but Ruth is and Ruth’s a darling, and there’s some pretty good stories in both of them all things considered, so!

EDIT: OH OH GOSH PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THIS BIT IT’S SO IMPORTANT all of the Benny stories from Epoch to Missing Persons are available for free on Spotify!!! like, completely free, no strings attached and in fact there’s a lot of Big Finish stories legally free to stream via Spotify, here’s a full list

Two alternate points to jump into the Benny stories, since you’re looking for benny-brax dynamics:

1) The Virgin books. There’s plenty of places to find these online (since the original publishers don’t get revenue from it, it’s generally considered Okay to download them, although I’m sure you can find physical copies if you searched for a while).

Benny and Brax first meet in Theatre of War, which is part of the VNA Doctor Who books (Benny’s still Seven’s companion, Ace is also there) and also is honestly a really really great book. There’s also a Big Finish adaptation of this story if you prefer that!! it’s a bit different to the book but still a really good spin on it. This one’s pretty much standalone.

Brax’s next cameo is in Happy Endings, and it’s very very brief although rather sweet. Happy Endings is the Benny Gets Married To Jason book and it’s honestly genuinely just a lot of pointless fluff.

...and then he comes back in the Benny solo books! These are a mixed bag but Dellah!Era Benny is a lot of fun and a particular favorite of mine. All you need to know (if you skipped the rest of the VNAs) is that Benny has retired as the Doctor’s companion, got a depressing divorce with Jason (f in the chat) and is now working as a Professor of Archaeology at St Oscar’s University.

Dragon’s Wrath is where they meet for the first time - good good book! Their dynamic is peak here. 

Brax does show up in a few other books but I can’t for the life of me recall a lot of them. I’ve still got to sit down and read through all of them in order some day, there’s a coherent overarching plot and everything. Where Angels Fear is definitely one where Brax shows up, uh. someone else help. it’s so late

anyway anyway Tears of the Oracle - best book. i first read it way WAY out of context and i still loved it. they’re best friends and it makes me sob every time. ‘she’s like family’

anyway yeah, Bernice Summerfield New Adventures - find a zip file of them somewhere and read them, they’re p good! and this is the era that Sepelio is set in, in case you didn’t realize this (i know at least one person didn’t)

2) The Collection-era audios (and tie-in books). Okay, I’ll be honest, I haven’t listened to this particular era in... nearly five years. And it’s a headache to get your head around, because some of the audios are closely interlinked with the books, and the books are hell to find, and there’s some Very Iffy Content for some of the stories and. I know y’all come to me for Benny Advice a lot but my memory’s so dreadful. half the time when writing i just operate on gut instinct for canon events and rely on the fact that this fandom’s so small nobody’s going to call me out on being ridiculous. Or I can also blame it on timeline shenanigans.

can... can someone jump in and give a guide to the collection-era stories and which ones to listen to/read for Plot Purposes? I know someone with knowledge is out there. it’s honestly an amazing story arc, I just wish I had the time to lay everything out properly.

The following, however, are pretty standalone and feature Brax heavily.

The Extinction Event - first audio ft. Brax. nothing especially special but it does establish some of the basework for some of his later Questionable Stuff.

The Mirror Effect - delightfully creepy, beautifully effective characterization, benny & brax & adrien & jason trapped in a creepy haunted mirror location and trying to get out. 

The Crystal of Cantus - maybe not entirely standalone BUT how can i not put this one down. very funny and very horrifying. benny and jason and brax go on a fun field trip and find out the True Meaning Of Cybermen. benny gains a fuckton of trauma.

...and then after Crystal everything gets plotty and complicated. not that it wasn’t before, but... oh well.

There’s also some books/short story anthologies in this era that are standalone/don’t require much context. Their names all escape me. Once again, help?

BONUS: Many Happy Returns - the Benny anniversary story which is more like a framing device for a fuckton of other stories set within pretty much every era. Cameos from everyone. Delightful and heartwrenching. Really really good, but maybe get some basis in various parts of canon before you check it out. Or maybe check it out and then start jumping around to find bits that interest you? I don’t know. I went through everything in painstaking chronological order from the tender age of 14 and now here I am, writing gory cannibal fanfiction about an emotionally repressed theatre professor and his disaster archaeology best friend.

...anyway, hopefully this helps at least somewhat! It’s past midnight and i’m wracking my brains as I try to remember what bits of an extremely extensive canon I enjoyed the most. let me know if there’s anything you need clarification on, I’m aware this is a bit of a disaster post.

[holly-mckenzie]

Heey!! I would love to hear your thoughts on Bolum 20 of Menajerimi Ara if you do watch it!

Take care xo

just watched the new MA episode and i honestly think this show has taken a VERY good turn for the better after the whole downhill slope after episode 9. this episode was so so so good i highly recommend watching🥺

Okay, so I watched it... here are my thoughts in no particular order. 

Me when Mayda got angry at both Kıraç and Beren + her leaving Kıraç:

But honestly, I understand that they depicted Mayda as almost an antagonist this entire season... 

But I loved how she was allowed to feel rage and anger that both her husband and her daughter were hiding things from her. Especially when you take into consideration that she has asked Kıraç over and over again what his connection to Dicle is and he lied and lied and lied. 

I will say, her reaction to him being: Why are you trying to destroy my family is so weird to me because... like? I don’t know, I feel like the more pressing issue is that he has lied to her for their entire relationship rather than him trying to ruin their family. But maybe that’s the messy subtitles. 

 Next to the Dicle and Kıraç situation:

I have mixed feels and this largely due to the fact that I am not Dicle (or Camille)... but I don’t think I would have been able to forgive my father if he abandoned me and kept on trying to hide his relationship with me. 

No offence to Dicle and Camille, but I am different.

That being said, I really did think the father/daughter bonding moments were really sweet and I loved them... BUt... Them watching TV. Her making him food. Her tucking her in. All of it was really cute.

However, I hate it for two reasons. One it kinda puts Dicle into this position of caretaker, which was her character arc her entire relationship with Barış at the start. And I kinda hate that. I also don’t understand why Kıraç didn’t like help Dicle with her work so she wasn’t doing stuff for the agency + trying to find Beren.

Also, I had absolutely no sympathy for Kıraç. Like he made the decision to lie to his wife. That was a choice that he made, so him mopping around like “Oh my gosh, I lied to everyone I knew and now my life is over nonsense” just made me laugh... But what was funnier was the look of sadness and shock on his face when he read that Mayda was divorcing him. Like, dude, I know you work in the dizi sector, but you have been watching WAY too many dizis if you really think your wife isn’t going to leave you after all of that nonsense.

In the words of a Tumblr icon:

Beren:

I absolutely hate the way that Beren is written. I understand that at the beginning they wanted her to be the antagonist to Dicle, but I really wish they would give her some character growth. Or, I really wish they would have her be friends and on somewhat of good terms with Dicle or someone else at the agency.

Having her constantly blaming her problems on Dicle and not growing up is ridiculous. Having her be upset when her mother called her out for lying to her was ridiculous. I don’t know how or why, but I really need her to have a better story arc beside constantly being bitter about Dicle... because that’s just not it chief.

I’m going to repeat myself... But in the words of a Tumblr icon:

Feris (+ The New Agent Dude Whose Name I Don’t Know)

Okay, I totally understand why Feris got upset... and I am cool with it. As for the scenes where she forgives Dicle, that was cute... I will admit. I will say one of the things that I really love about MA in comparison to Dix Pour Cent, is the way that they developed the relationship between Feris and Dicle. So that’s fun.

As for Serkan... I don’t have many thoughts on him. He and Feris are cute, I will admit. I will also say that they have great chemistry and that is that. However, that being said they are totally hinting that Feris is [redacted] seeing that’s what happens to Andrea in Dix Pour Cent... my question is if [redacted] will come back like in Dix Pour Cent.

Jülide + Çınar + Emir

head empty no thoughts. 

Emrah:

I loved watching Emrah and Güilin teaming up and having a mess around.

*insert a classic Cece and Winston mess around gif*

I also love how we are seeing *less* female characters being pit against each other. However, I am not excited to see Dicle being “attacked” by yet another character. It’s tiring.

Barış Havas, the love of my life.

Me whenever Barış does literally anything:

Okay, though I am a self-proclaimed hater of MA. I still think that Ahsen and Deniz Can have INCREDIBLE chemistry. All of their scenes are so cute... I love how he is constantly trying to be around her and finds it so difficult to say goodbye to her and is constantly playing with her hair, and holding her hands, and touching his face.

Also, Dicle is so cute and giggly around him. It’s adorable! I cannot!

Like we get it, you’re in love with her, Barış... But also you aren’t special... Literally, everyone is in love with her, get in line.

But additionally... my only complaint about Barış Havas is this... WHO IS DRESSING HIM?

A green turtle neck? Really? A green one? 

Give me slutty Barış Havas or give me death!

And as always... the best characters this episode are:

Bro and Meral! 

I will never forgive whoever wrote the stupid, the only person who I can be honest with is Emir line that Dicle tells Barış about Emir... because Meral has always been supportive and is always trying to help Dicle... It’s incredibly stupid and I hate it.

I love how Bro is currently the Havas brother with the brain cells...

Proud of him for taking care of those because Barış is certainly not using them!

Now when will these two bad bitches be in a scene again? Because I need them to stare into each other's eyes like love.

[medievalraven]

Writer Asks

Tagged by two of my faves - @sothischickshe and @sdktrs12 

I tag - @fairhairedkings, @riosnecktattoo, @blainesebastian, @mego42 plus anyone else who wants to share!

ao3 name: medievalraven

fandoms: good girls

number of fics: 3 (will this be exciting with just three fics???)

fic I spent the most time on: definitely in the dark - i spent a lot of time thinking/talking about this fic as a concept before i decided to actually shut up and write it which i don’t know if that counts, but i’m factoring it in.  plus it’s a multi-chapter fic with an actual plot that required me to unfortunately put in effort and outline the overall arcs, etc. 

fic I spent the least amount of time on: technically injured a stone, hospitalized a brick. both chapter 1 and 3 only took a couple days for me to write (chapter 2 took longer because i hate writing sex scenes) and it all just clicked for me?

most hits: in the dark :)

most kudos: injured a stone, hospitalized a brick :))

most comment threads: in the dark! but i think the fic with the most one chapter comments belongs to injured a stone, hospitalized a brick (which is the first chapter and it made me cry when i got all the super sweet comments since it was my first ever fic)

most bookmarks: injured a stone, hospitalized a brick

highest total word count: in the dark with just under 25,000 words and god i still have probably 8 chapters to go haha

favourite fic I wrote: look i love all my fics - seal my fate was really cathartic to write after the season two finale and it was probably the hardest thing for me to write because it’s in canon, but i’m really proud of it.  injured a stone, hospitalized a brick was the first piece of creative writing i’ve ever done and it will forever hold a special place in my heart, plus it includes some of my favorite things i’ve written.  

but in the dark might be my favorite altogether?  i’ve just really enjoyed writing it and i think my writing has been getting better and stronger with each chapter (which is fun to see happen).  i dunno i just really like the story i’m telling and i’m really excited about what else i have planned for it :) (also it’s the first fic that i’ve kinda said fuck it and just written what i want without dwelling in my imposter syndrome)

fic I want to rewrite/expand on: definitely injured a stone, hospitalized a brick for both!  i have plans for a small sequel (probably 2-3 chapters) that jumps forward a couple months and features some domesticity, some angst, and rio boxing in an amateur boxing match - so i’m really excited to start working on that once i get another couple chapters of in the dark done!  but i also plan on doing some edits to the fic in general before the sequel goes up - like i said before, this was my first attempt at creative writing and while i do really love it and think it’s technically fine there are definitely some awkward or clunky parts that i’d want to fix up (also i cringe a little when i see how many canon lines i worked in so they might have to go haha).

share a bit of a wip or story idea you’re working on: so besides the boxing au! sequel i have the following fic ideas outlined to write during hiatus: interior designer au (featuring rio as an interior designer who helps beth after her divorce), a pseudo parent-trap au (in which marcus and jane decide their parents would be great together and try to set them up through shenanigans), an HGTV au, a fic where Rio and Annie are dating and Rio and Beth end up having an affair, plus an in-canon fic where Rio using alternative means to “incentivize” Beth to stay in line.  and i think at some point i might want to open up to prompts?  oh god that’s a lot.

[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#31)

5x08 (I watched this ep and 5x09 last week and have been busy since but I am in the last arcs here and I never want it to end meh!)

all the recapping and flailing and reacting under the cut:

Aw Vince’s first interview! The quality of the tv they’re all watching!!! it reminds me of childhood omg

Vince’s dad is pulling him away from the teamwork attitude and more about him....yikes this is not cute and Jess is cringing. Same gurl.

“You barely talked about anyone but yourself.” Yepppp you right, Jess! No stop defending him, dad, ughhh

Is Becky too freaked to fuck Luke in his house where the terrifying anti choice mom lives? Bc I feel that. And last time they fucked she had to have an abortion they caused a townwide scandal! Like I get it gurl! do you, go slow!

“Oh how DARE he!” Me when TA Fuckface shows up at the door.

“PUNCH HIM!!!!” Me at Eric

Oh yeah he escorted Derek off the property, yes! Get out of here, you predator fuck!

Oh shit the rest of the team is making fun of Vince’s interview and tryna bring Jess into it lol

“I mean with a face like this how could you not, right?” Oh honey no, yeah that fell as flat as it should.

Oooop Epyck’s fighting again! “I’m on your side here, but you gotta help me.” Oooop and she asked for Tami’s sandwich and there it is—she’s food insecure?

What nonsense is Billy doing?? Showing the defense team a “pre war dance” —definitely culturally appropriation of indigenous culture and cringe af?? Absolutely not lol

Aw Buddy Jr. got hurt!

Omfg now TA is showing up at Tami’s office????? enough!

Talking to her is not the way to make this right, fuckface! You resigned? Cool now fuck off and out of Julie’s life!

Lol MAMA MINDY TIME with all her friends encouraging Becky to enter a beauty pageant I love it

Ew these illicit recruitment lunches with Vince and his dad and old creepy white dudes make my skin crawl

I’m sorry, so—they’re bringing two conventionally attractive women to tour Vince around? Yikes—college rally girls?

“I should have gone to college” says Vince’s creepy dad as he stares at 19 year old girls GROSS

AW Becky didn’t tell Luke about the pageant?

“When we win you have to sneak into your boyfriend’s room with only a tiara.” Lol I love all the girls hyping Becky up.

Oh shit they didn’t know about the previous abortion? Aw she’s crying and opening up to Mindy and her friends, my heart!

“I lost my virginity in the back of a truck I mean who does that” and they’re all like UH ME?? Lol Texas

Oooh Vince blew off practice for recruitment and didn’t tell Jess? Or is she covering for his ass?

Is there someone taking a photo of Vince on the field or am I crazy

Ew all this talking in Vince’s direction to be overheard on purpose so they don’t *technically* break the rules is so scummy!

Omg Tami found Epyck fighting on the street and was like, get in my car! Hilarious.

“You know what, I’m gonna feed you right now, is what I’m gonna do.” Are you sensing a pattern?

Ugh Epyck talking about how there isn’t a lot of food to go around at her foster home, my heart!

Aw she doesn’t want Tami to call social services bc she’s finally doing ok with the help of Tami WOW

Eeeek Vince talking about the visit is yikes! Jess telling ar him that it’s against the rules, ugh this is so rough

“There won’t be so many distractions.” You mean teenage girls to prey on, Derek??

Stop telling Julie she’s gonna realize y’all had a “rare” connection she’ll later look back on as she gets older! First of all, as she gets older she’ll realize even more how predatory and not okay you pursuing her was, and second of all, she HAS experienced rare connection but not with you, sir, with Matt Saracen! Amen.

Now Julie, go off on TA Derek in this restaurant like he deserves. Rip him a new one, punch him, you know

Lol really, ARE you getting a divorce? Wild

Ew don’t give her your address in Tennessee after telling her to go back to school!

Ewwww their hands touching on the piece of paper with the address. Gross gross gross please let this be the end.

Lol Eric and Tami shoving at each other fighting over who’s morning it is to get Gracie, classic.

Yay Julie’s going back to school?! I love how she apologized and Tami was all yay I’m so proud and Eric was like can you make some coffee 😂

How dare he! Omg Vince is blaming the recruitment visit on his mom’s addiction???? Does Eric know he’s lying?

Epyck lied about her foster home sitch, ah

Aw the little ones love Epyck? Her backstory with parents who died from AIDS and living on the street oh poor babe

YESSS I was right about the photographer on campus! They did get a photo of Vince at Oklahoma Tech!!! Aghhh

Damn Vince’s dad has really drilled this very individualistic mindset in and it’s not cute.

Omg Mindy and her fellow Landing Strip workers getting ready for the beauty pageant! Love it?

“I actually like you. No, look at me: you’re strong and you’re smart and you’re feisty. I believe you have a future.” OMG TAMIIIII I love you, I love that Dillons girls like Epyck have her looking out for them.

Yesssss Becky having the loudest, most raucous cheering section at this pageant is so adorable!

Lol all of them booing when Becky got second runner up I’m dying

“I think you should take a hard look at the company you keep.” Fuck off, old white lady, they’re way cooler than you’ll ever be!

“You don’t hit my quarterback when you have that red shirt on.” Oh shit Luke is pressing Vince about Oklahoma...yeah everyone else on the team has had it with Vince at this point.

Aw Julie is really leaving to go back to school now?!

Eewww Derek called Julie “to get her back,” not to go back to school??? What a douche! “That’s what I thought,” she says then turns around??? Plz tell me this means she’s leaving Derek behind for good!

Oh god it’s gonna be another showdown between Eric Taylor and Vince’s dad huh? “I won’t have any one player bigger than my team. He misses practice again and I’ll bench him.”

Oh god his dad knows Eric is being called by the colleges too??? Well fuck!

Aw Becky leaving a lil sharpie note on Luke’s car windshield? Cute.

Lol Billy is getting in a fight with the old school coach! This team is falling apart!

Oh god a classic team fighting as they’re supposed to be coming out at a pep rally shot! What a trope!

Aw Buddy jr. on his crutches in his jersey

Everyone’s faking it, everyone’s uneasy, and the music is playing as they show everyone—

“I want to introduce the man who taught us to have pride in East Dillon again: Coach Taylor.” And then the camera flashes to Vince’s dad watching him well DAMN

YESSSSSS JULIE’S IN CHICAGO??? Omg so I was right; TA Derek’s thing about special connections totally made her think of Matt!! He looks so GOOD and delighted to see her!!!

Ok I’m going straight into the next one now xo xo

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #196

Sun Aug 25 2019 [01:53 PM] Wack'd: Normally I don't post covers but there's a lot going on here

[01:53 PM] Bocaj: A lot to unpack [01:54 PM] Wack'd: So for the record [01:55 PM] Wack'd: What actually happened was that Skrulls abducted Franklin Storm out of prison, replaced him with a Skrull. Skrull Storm then broke out of prison and claimed he'd given himself superpowers and was now a supervillain [01:55 PM] Wack'd: "The Invincible Man" [01:56 PM] Wack'd: When the Four figured out the truth, the Skrulls send Franklin Storm back with a gun strapped to his chest, but rather than murder his kids he dropped to the floor so the gunshot would rebound on him [01:56 PM] Wack'd: So, uh, no. By no metric did Sue and Johnny "murder" him [01:57 PM] Wack'd: This was all back in the 60s which I read a fucktillion years ago in 2016 so I hope that recap helped [01:57 PM] Bocaj: That sure is nonsense [01:58 PM] Wack'd: In fairness. Not bad revenge for being tricked by a comic book and having your soldiers turned into cows [01:58 PM] Bocaj: Fair [01:59 PM] Wack'd: So anyway Reed is in a hypnosis chamber to have his will broken so he'll kill his friends [01:59 PM] Wack'd: When his new bosses said that there was free mental health treatment I don't think this is what Reed had in mind [02:01 PM] Bocaj: Truly businesses supporting mental health hasn't gotten any better since the 70s... [02:01 PM] Wack'd: This mystery man who may or may not be Franklin Storm somehow has cannibalized Psycho-Man's suit for more effective hypnosis. You might remember him from the Four 1967 annual [02:01 PM] Wack'd: Also other stuff [02:03 PM] Wack'd: Also his assistant is Hauptmann, from the 85-87 arc where Doom tries to trap the Four in Latveria forever [02:03 PM] Wack'd: I really should be keeping a running list of who's been doing the most cannibalizing from the 60s [02:03 PM] Wack'd: Because jesus fuck have we been on a continuity kick lately [02:04 PM] Wack'd: BACK TO HOLLYWOOD [02:05 PM] Wack'd: Sue tries desperately to pretend she's had a single meaningful conversation with Johnny since 1964

[02:06 PM] Bocaj:

"Hey.... you" "Its me, Johnny! The loveable rascal! Your brother!" "Right right right of course!" -to Reed- "I have no idea who that is"

[02:06 PM] Wack'd: I'd like to nominate Keith Pollard for worst-ever drawing of any child, ever

[02:06 PM] Bocaj: Kill it with fire [02:07 PM] Wack'd: Maybe Pollard is just...bad at art?

[02:08 PM] Wack'd: The coloring isn't helping though [02:08 PM] Umbramatic: oh god [02:08 PM] maxwellelvis: I was about to say [02:08 PM] maxwellelvis: Good lord! First-phase Liefeld's Syndrome! [02:10 PM] Wack'd: Something I haven't mentioned is that Agatha is now Franklin Richards' live-in nanny which, I think, would probably have been a smarter writing choice from the beginning [02:10 PM] Bocaj: Oh so she returned to the job? [02:10 PM] Wack'd: It was always kinda weird that Reed and Sue had to shlep out to Agatha's house to see their kid [02:10 PM] Bocaj: This must have been around the time she told Wanda 'I've taught you all I can, laters' [02:10 PM] Wack'd: Yeah since New Salem and also her house got got she's been following around Sue and Franklin, including to Hollywood [02:12 PM] Wack'd: So Sue, Ben, and Johnny go sightseeing, and talk about reforming the team. Only problem is convincing Reed [02:12 PM] Wack'd: They arrive on the Walk of Fame, and--

[02:12 PM] Wack'd: I am officially declaring Pollard the worst [02:13 PM] maxwellelvis: AHH! ART ATTACK! [02:13 PM] Umbramatic: my eyes [02:13 PM] maxwellelvis: THE ART IS COMING RIGHT AT US! [02:14 PM] Wack'd: Ben tries to get an autograph but is shoed away by cops [02:14 PM] Wack'd: Who think he's a guy in a costume because Let's Make Another Deal™ is shooting across the street [02:15 PM] Wack'd: Okay, I laughed

[02:16 PM] Bocaj: Hah [02:16 PM] Wack'd: *Alex Ross goes on to use this panel as the basis for his drawings of Sue and Johnny* [02:16 PM] Bocaj: To choose which celebrities they look like? [02:16 PM] Wack'd: Yes [02:16 PM] Wack'd: Dats da joke [02:17 PM] Bocaj: Is it a joke? I thought you were seriously imparting trivia [02:18 PM] Wack'd: It was a joke, I can't actually name the celebrities off the top of my head that Alex Ross picks, sorry [02:18 PM] Wack'd: So the scenes from the cover happen but they're hallucinated in the middle of this lovely restaurant [02:19 PM] Wack'd: Also, this

[02:20 PM] Wack'd: So apparently this was all a battle in the center of the mind not in physical space. Sue, Johnny, and Ben lose, allowing Invincible Man to extract them from the restaurant [02:21 PM] Wack'd: Just another day in Hollyweird, lol

[02:22 PM] Wack'd: So back at Reed's new job, it turns out Invisible Man was--REED! [02:22 PM] Wack'd: He was hypnotized [02:23 PM] Bocaj: 😐 [02:23 PM] Bocaj: Another Evil Reed? [02:23 PM] Wack'd: But then he snaps out of it and gets angry so they're all thrown in a dungeon [02:23 PM] Bocaj: Another Evil But Its Not His Fault Honest Reed?? [02:23 PM] Wack'd: YEP [02:23 PM] Bocaj: Weird trend lately [02:23 PM] Wack'd: I know, right? [02:25 PM] Wack'd: I maintain that Wein was throwing a hissy fit over the idea of Reed having character flaws. But Wein is gone, and it's a weird grudge for two consecutive writers to hold, especially when the divorce arc has been over for like 45 issues [02:26 PM] Bocaj: Maybe the current writer is just copying Wein [02:26 PM] Wack'd: Maybe [02:27 PM] ThreeOfFour: someone tell The Maker he isn't special [02:27 PM] Wack'd: So anyway Reed agrees to go back to work because otherwise his friends die I guess [02:28 PM] Bocaj: Hey, the Maker. You're not special [02:29 PM] Wack'd: ...this guy hasn't appeared before this issue so I'm not sure why I'm supposed to care here

[02:30 PM] Wack'd: I actually went back and checked just now to see if this guy was in other issues at Reed's new job and no, he's not, Wolfman introduced to this supposedly important character just to make a joke about the fact that he's not important [02:31 PM] Wack'd: The beginning of the issue kind of implies that he's the mysterious man in chair? But there's a panel later on that implies it's Doom, so [02:32 PM] Wack'd: So this is what Reed's been working on

[02:32 PM] Bocaj: The set of a high budget fantasy movie? [02:32 PM] Wack'd: These mirrors are so powerful that they will drive you insane if you look at them with your eyes open, and even with your eyes closed it's not great [02:32 PM] Bocaj: why [02:33 PM] Wack'd: I guess this is what they thought solar power would be like in 1978 [02:34 PM] Wack'd: The Red-Haired Man is also planning on getting Reed his stretching back for some reason [02:35 PM] Wack'd: Back in the dungeon, Sue uses her force fields to break the team's shackle and the--okay

[02:35 PM] Wack'd: I know Janet has that whole speech about how when you focus on power sets and not what each personality brings to the team, you don't build something that lasts as long as the Avengers do [02:36 PM] Wack'd: That said I'm kinda feeling like Sue can do everything Reed could with far less threat of bodily harm [02:36 PM] Bocaj: But can she be a giant asshole who tells the others what to do all the time? [02:36 PM] Wack'd: Fair [02:37 PM] Wack'd: Also why are so many artists convinced Sue's powers come from her forehead [02:37 PM] Bocaj: That’s where psychic powers come from [02:39 PM] Wack'd: I should probably take a moment to point out the interior blue highlights on Sue's powers, an embellishment that will gradually lead to more dynamic illustrations and the eventual obsolescence of the classic dotted-line look

[02:40 PM] Umbramatic: Sue's slow evolution into one of the most powerful people in Marvel pleases me [02:41 PM] Wack'd: Anyway no sooner do they escape then they are immediately re-captured by Doom, who let them escape because they are powerless and he is great and yada yada yada [02:42 PM] Umbramatic: DOOOOOOM [02:43 PM] Bocaj: "There would be no plot if DOOM did not allow you fools to escape"

[onemuseleft]

Hi your divorce AU just ripped my heart out, please tell me you’re gonna write a sequel in which they get back together or I might die

****

miss-ingno said: please tell me there’s a happy ending to the divorce au bc i’m sitting here fucking crying like why

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This is mostly @musicalluna‘s fault. Sequel to the Divorce AU (not to be mistaken for the Divorce Fic.)

****

Steve’s hand tightened on his, almost painfully. “Is that - are you wearing my dogtags?”

Tony’s heart skipped a beat, then sank slowly into his stomach. “Yeah. Is that… Sorry, I didn’t even think about-” He curled the fingers of his free hand around the chain and pulled it out of his shirt. “You want them back.”

Steve didn’t answer him for a long moment, his eyes on the tags dangling from the end of the chain. Tony realized, a moment too late, that he’d put his wedding ring on the chain, the platinum band bright and shining against the stainless steel of the tags.

“No,” Steve said finally. He let go of Tony’s hand and took a step back. Then another one. “No. I don’t want them back.”

“Oh.” Tony let the tags fall to lay against his chest. He’d worn them more often than not over the last five years since Steve had given them to him that he barely noticed their weight anymore. But now they were heavy, pressing against the arc reactor, pulling on the back of his neck. “Sorry.” It felt like a slap in the face, but he wasn’t sure why. He doesn’t want anything from you anymore, not even the things that should have been his.

Tony should have been his, but Steve sure as hell didn’t want that, either.

He forced a smile on his face. “I should have remembered to pack them last night.”

“No, it’s fine. I know it made you feel special to wear them.” Steve smiled again, but it seemed cold, a little mean. A lot of Steve’s smiles had seemed like that lately. “Do whatever you want with them. They’re yours, I don’t want them back. SHIELD issued me new ones to replace those anyway.”

Tony fought back a flare of anger - that had been happening a lot lately too. But fighting over it wasn’t going to fix things. Unfortunately Tony had the feeling that whatever chance he’d had to fix this was gone before he even noticed they were broken. “Okay,” he said instead. “I guess this is it, then.”

Steve flashed him that strange, uncomfortable smile again. “Guess it is.” He held out a hand.

Tony didn’t want to touch him, didn’t want to remember an impersonal handclasp to be the final touch they share, but he also knew how damn lucky he was that Steve seemed to still want to be friends. He took Steve’s hand in his, gripped it. 

“It’s been good,” Steve said. “I mean, we both knew it wouldn’t last, but at least we had some fun, right?”

Tony closed his eyes. “You should go.”

If anything, his grip on Tony’s hand tightened. “I don’t think you really want me to.”

The sudden frisson of fear Tony feels was probably unwarranted - and entirely unprecedented. He’d never been afraid of Steve before, never felt anything less than entirely safe around him, even in their darkest and hardest moments. 

He was aware, all over again, how little he could do about it if Steve wanted to hurt him. It was usually a turn-on but today it just made Tony hyper aware of the fact that Steve was gripping the wrist that has the control band for the armor.

The elevator dinged.

Tony felt a little like a traitor for the rush of relief. Whatever weird tension was between him and Steve, Happy or Pepper’s presence would interrupt it.

And then the elevator door opened and Steve barreled out of it.

It was Steve, but wearing grimy SHIELD blues, and sporting what looked like a month’s worth of facial hair. 

Tony drew in a sharp breath, but the other Steve spoke first. “Get the hell away from him!”

The grip on his wrist became painful. “I think you should make me.”

“What the hell-” Tony’s words cut off as Steve yanked on his arm, dragging Tony closer to him. “Remember when I said that it was time for you to leave?”

“Get your hands off him,” the other Steve said in a low voice. “Or I will rip them off.”

Steve - the Steve who had his wrist - practically growled. “I think you should come here and take him.”

“Don’t mind if we do.”

Clint’s voice came from right behind him and Tony barely had time to register it before an arrow flashed past the side of his head and embedded itself in Steve’s throat.

His blood was green.

He was yelling, he knew that much, but then the other Steve was there, dragging him away from - Christ, was that a Skrull?

“Are you okay?” Steve’s hands were everywhere, patting down his chest and dragging over his shoulders and arms. “Give me your wrist, it’s already turning black and blue.”

“Steve? What the hell-” He couldn’t look at Steve as he carefully traced his fingers over Tony’s bruised wrist, checking for fractures with a worried intensity. So instead he looked over his shoulder, where another Steve, this one dripping green blood, was slumped against the wall while Clint and Natasha closed in on him from the far end of the hallway. 

“Did he hurt you?” Steve cupped Tony’s face in his. “Did he touch you?”

“Steve?”

Steve pulled him against his chest and clutched his hands into the back of Tony’s shirt. “I’m so sorry. I tried to get away faster.”

Tony could feel himself shaking. “Steve?”

Steve pressed a kiss against his temple, his beard scratchy against Tony’s skin. “Are you okay? I swear to you, I came as soon as I could.”

Tony’s heart was hammering in his chest. He slowly raised his arms to hold Steve back. He felt thinner, his ribs and spine noticeable under Tony’s hands.  “How long was he pretending to be you?”

“Almost two months.” Steve sounded miserably, the words aching. 

“Two months.” Tony rolled the words around in his mouth. “He was… you’ve been gone for two months?”

“Tony.” Steve’s voice almost broke on his name.

“He didn’t - he didn’t hurt me. Not - he didn’t touch me. I don’t think.” Steve hadn’t touched him aside from a few dispassionate kisses in weeks. Months. Two months. “He - we’ve been fighting.”

Steve let out a heavy sigh. “Trying to keep you at a distance. He knew you’d realize what was going on if he let you get too close.” His arms held Tony tight against his chest. “I’ve been trying to get back to you. I promise you, I came as soon as I could.”

“Was he-” Tony pulled back a little so he could look at Steve’s face. “Was he the one who filed for a divorce?”

“What?” Steve’s eyes were wide, and shocked. “No. Tony, that was not me. I would never-”

“I should have known.” Looking back the change had been sudden, inexplicable, and completely unanticipated. “You - he just - withdrew. I didn’t know what was wrong and then he told me he was leaving. The papers -” Tony laughed, tired and breathless. “I’ve been stalling signing them. Hoping he’d change his mind.”

“Throw them away. Shred them. Burn them.” Steve pressed their foreheads together. “It wasn’t me. He was just trying to keep you off your feet.”

Tony turned his head to look at the Skrull, currently facedown on the ground as Natasha snapped cuffs on his - her? their? - wrists. It had dropped the image of Steve and was now a seven-foot tall alien with green skin. His life, honestly. “I should have known. You weren’t acting right. But he threw me. It happened so suddenly and he didn’t want to see me or talk to me so we couldn’t even talk it out.”

“It wasn’t me,” Steve said again. “Tony. When have I ever walked away without a fight?”

Tony closed his eyes and huffed a short laugh. “Yeah, the lack of screaming should have been my first warning sign.” He sighed, and pulled back a little. “Tasha? You guys have this under control?”

She flashed him a thumbs up and twirled a knife over the back of her hand. “We’re good. Clint’s calling for a containment team to come haul this guy in for questioning.”

“You need a meal or ten,” Tony said. “I don’t like how thin you are. Have you been to medical? We should take you to medical.”

“Later.” Steve bent his head to kiss him, gently, just a brush of his lips over Tony’s. “Later, okay? I’ve spent the last two months separated from you. I’m not ready to let you go just yet.”

Tony felt the last of the tension and confusion ease out of him. “Okay,” he said softly. “Let’s go inside and get you cleaned up a little. We should talk anyway.”

“Yeah. About - the divorce. And what’s been going on for the last couple of months.” Steve’s eyes flickered toward the Skrull and his face hardened. “Swear to me he didn’t hurt you.”

“Nothing that can’t be fixed now that you’re back.” Tony touched his hand to Steve’s cheek, turned his gaze back to him. “Come on. I’ll get the kitchen to send up dinner while you clean up and then you can tell me everything.”

Steve nodded, and slumped against him a little. “Stay with me.”

Tony pressed a kiss against his forehead as he pulled Steve into their home. “Steve, babe, after this you’ll never get rid of me. The next time we fight I’m just going to accuse you of being a Skrull.”

Steve laughed. “Well, if the word “divorce” ever comes out of my mouth again, I give you permission to sic SHIELD on me.”

[treason-and-plot]

REPLIES TO ROYSE’S BAR DATE PART 1

@igglemouse

I've decided that hand fetishes are even odder than foot ones!

Well technically that’s true because they are a lot rarer!

@shhhushhh

Poor John's going to slurp his soup alone.

For a very, very long time.....

@simmerjazen

hahaha Roy

@hyperkaos

LOL I love him. He's such a dick.

@ivorycrayon

I wonder if Sonia would like Saiorse too, and the three of them would happily go off into the sunset together (one of the triplets in each’s arms and Angus on Roy’s shoulders, of course)

This has crossed my mind, too. 

@miraakles

MAYBE she will be like, "But i'm not gonna be some side hoe. You leave your wife, divorce her, and then we get together" And Roy goes "Oh shit. Um.. Not that-" and Housekeeper AT LEAST MINUTE restores my faith in humanity. You can do it girl! Don't let me down now, I have Naomi on speed dial. *wink*

Saoirse is definitely not going to be some side ho, I can guarantee that.

@miraakles

God I just really feel like these two aren't in love with *each other* though.. On a serious note. Like I feel like they're in love with the past versions.. To the point where Roy is missing flags about Housekeeper and Housekeeper is missing those same flags..

Yes, that’s true. But there is enough hope and chemistry there for them to feel that the crazy adventure they are about to embark on might just have a happy ending. 

@gaiahypothesims

I have to agree with miraakles. Its likes they are clinging to something in the past that makes them feel special.. to make up for the 'less than' that they are living right now.

Yep, I hear you. I also want to say that there are quite a few story arcs in 5 Years Later that were developed from readers saying ‘what if....’.

What if Sonia was bisexual? 

What if the older lady actually gets to keep the younger man? (This one is particularly amusing to me because the reader who liked to badger me about it seemed to stopped liking or commenting on my story as soon as Jonita started being a thing again?? lolol Anyway she left a lasting legacy, so I’m grateful, and we do need more stories where the older woman finds happiness with the younger man, and isn’t burnt at the stake for it. )

What if Roy and Saoirse actually find happiness together?

@wannabecatwriter

They really do have a lot in common.

They do!

@princessdejamars

internal screaming.....YES....finally....

@unbridledsims

Curious where all of this will lead to and how it effect the long term.

@sweetnovember77

I guess this is one of those instances in which timing is everything. - Timing theory.

I think there’s a lot to be said for that theory! Also I’m very thankful that Saoirse doesn’t have kids or a baby!

@kscriba

I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKING THIS BUT I DO CURSE YOU FOR YOUR WITCH-LIKE ABILITIES TO MANIPULATE MY EMOTIONS

@simsmidgen

This completes me ;)

@dreamsongsims

I'm so happy to see her reaching for happiness! Yay!! Now Roy better not decide to be a douche and mess things up!

YEAH, ROY!

@hyperkaos

Everyone is too happy. Time to blow shit up.

@shhhushhh

I still don't believe it would work it in the long run but let's see. Maybe I can't quite picture Saoirse in BP and since we've already discussed there is no possibility for Roy to move to SV. Or maybe they both will move to AP to be closer to Bunty 🤣

@justanothersimsblog

@shhhushhh lmao they moving to AP

@miraakles

Can someone shoot this lady? Sonia?? Call your damn husband and tell him you're gonna divorce him and leave him with nothing and lets see how in love housekeeper is then.

@roseoftheoakmoon

Well. I suppose neither of these marriages was going well. Perhaps Saoirse can keep Roy in check a bit better than Sonia and this would free Sonia to be happy with the woman of her choice. It's all terribly messy but I guess I'm along for the ride at this point. (I don't know that I'll ever really ship it, but you surprise me often.)

[knightofbalance-13]

http://nerdgasrnz.tumblr.com/post/168146804389/you-bigoted-geek-ass-homophobic-transphobic

Old post I know but-

Point still needs to be made.

You bigoted geek-ass homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist MOTHERFUCKERS still don’t understand what the problem is, do you?

Looks like you’re finally getting some self awareness.

Oh wait, you’re not talking about yourself? Huh.

This is not the “rwde community” looking to tear RWBY to shreds ever since Monty died or whatever bullshit excuses you keep coming up with everytime ppl critique this cartoon

My past two years say the exact opposite and what should I trust: my instincts or a liar?

This is the fact that REAL LGBT people watch this show; real NON-WHITE people watch this show; real WOMEN watch this show, and WOMEN are the literal lead characters of this show. But those parts of the audience wind up disappointed with the lack of care, consideration, or prioritization in this weak-ass writing, where only the art and animation salvage it.

Heh...

Then why are some of the most prominent fans of the community LGBT, Non-white and/or women? I mean, surely if this was handled so poorly they wouldn’t be so prominent. Unless of course, the issue isn’t with the show but a certain group of people with a similar thought process (that being “If it doesn’t pander to me, it’s bigotry!.’)

Diversity isn’t a fucking myth like you think just because you have less social aptitude than a fucking rock, or because you refuse to interact with anyone that isn’t the same as you.

Says the woman who rejects other LGBT/non white people for not thinking exactly like her.

Monty was GENTLY asked in a post-show interview if there’d be LGBT+ rep in RWBY, and he confirmed yes. That was 2014.

And he also fucked over his own show numerous times. He wasn’t exactly a good writer so him saying that would have probably resulted in a ham fisted, out of place moment of gay angst that would never be mentioned ever again.

What Miles Luna, Kerry Shawcross, and Gray Haddock have done, instead of giving us a named PROTAGONIST character to be the first instance of that rep, they made the first openly gay character a VILLAIN. (no, Matte Sky does not count bc the VOICE ACTOR named them, not the creators)

You mean the single sympathetic villain who would later get a redemption arc among the other straight villians who are portrayed as irredeemable and monstrous *cough* ADAM *cough*.

Oh no, how terrible. You get a complex and well written character instead of the edgelord. 

Nothing is groundbreaking about that trash. LGBT+ historians and fandoms have noted that in the media, villains were portrayed as gay, trans, or implied as such for YEARS. (it’s called “queercoding”)

And that’s called ‘bullshit’ because coding is only ever brought up in subjective ways.

Not only that: You were never promised something GROUND BREAKING. Show me where it was said that. 

Monty was GENTLY asked by fans at a convention when more brown characters would be in RWBY. He confirmed that Sun and Velvet have “cool” dark-skinned teammates. That was 2013. (after an animation panel at Supanova)

So no, this isn’t just “rabid tumblrinas” hounding the creators for the sake of being special snowflakes like you fucking think. These are real fucking people who love the soul of this show but don’t actually SEE THEMSELVES IN IT. And Monty, rest his soul, was so excited and earnest in wanting to be inclusive so this show could be shared and loved by more people.

Yeah and Miles and Kerry get death threats over this. That was proven in 2018. I could not care less.

And here’s the deal: If you cannot relate to a character because they do not share the same skin color as you, you do not DESERVE a character to relate to. Because creators are suppose to make compelling characters and skin color is NOT COMPELLING. Expecting me to find a character compelling because they are white is honestly INSULTING to me.

But the fact is that it’s not as inclusive as it could be. Even when he was alive, he made missteps too. And it’s not even like it’d be a big deal to fix. But hateful people go out of their way EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. to make it seem like it’d be such a lorebreaking addition to make a character brown, gay, or trans.

The fact that ‘it’s not as inclusive as it could have be’ is a flaw shows you do not actually care about the show. Because you care SO LITTLE about the show actually being good you try to prioritize something COMPLETELY DIVORCED from quality above all else.

And no one wanted them to just do it because it was not the right fucking time or place. Imagine a character in Berserk went off on a tangent about how gay they are. That’d be pretty cringy right? Now think of that same thing in MHA. Not even bad now is it? Because one is not built to support this and the other CAN support it.

Honestly, the way they handled Illa, from a purely writing standpoint, is the best way they could have gone about it. It’s used to emphasize her pain with Blake and quickly takes a backburner for Illa’s more personal and universal issues. They showed it was athing before moving onto more pressing matters.

It makes absolutely ZERO SENSE how a FANTASY REALM can be lacking so much variety in terms of its inhabitants. And Diversity is an AFTERTHOUGHT. Or a “lorebreaker” (remember the homophobic “how would you show gay characters? just have them make out during the chaos? That’d make no sense!” argument? Fun times!!!)

Damn near every single piece of fanart about Illa emphasizes her being gay, apparently that was an informed guess on their part. And honestly ticks me off since Illa is so much more than that.

How many times do we have to sift through the garbage comments on fanart (FAN ART!!!) of Blake being portrayed as black, as if that’s some huge leap from what she could have represented in the first place?

Representation doesn't matter here, it's the fact that these designs usually look like shit because the people making don’t care about good character design and use dark skin on a design that is built around light skin. It’s like if someone made a light skinned Emerald-it would look fucking awful.

How many times do ppl turn a blind eye to femslash fanart of team RWBY but suddenly complain when someone mentions the notion of one of the characters in team RWBY actually being canonically gay? Or bi? Or pan? Anything outside or in-between?

Never. I have literally never seen that happened. I’ve seen people be called homophobic for shipping straight ships before I say this.

Hateful people are like “u should be thankful” when they’re having a buffet of representation and we only get, not just breadcrumbs, but moldy ones that the ants are crawling on. Then, when we make our own stuff to satisfy us (again: FAN ART! FANFIC! HEADCANONS!!!) they’re suddenly so defensive and wanna police our shit???

A. Nobody has ever just eaten certain foods because of their color,

B. You actively REFUSE to accept any character that isn’t EXACTLY like you and proceed to try to hurt REAL PEOPLE over this. Mold crumbs with ants on them is more than you deserve, honestly STRAVATION is more than you deserve.

C. Making fanart and fanfics that are fundamentally WORSE than canon and calling it ‘fixed’ or ‘improved’ like these people always do is insulting. You are actively pissing people off.

Oh and D. I have seen people ATTACK OTHERS over them not following their headcanons.

RWBY’s first dark-skinned character was a villain. That’s not representation, that reinforces racist beliefs that black people are thugs and thieves that can’t be trusted and need to be put down.

Yes, a dark skinned character with understandable motives, symapethic beliefs and conflcits about her actions.

Meanwhile, the white guy Adam is portrayed as an edgelord monster who seeks genocide and talks like a Nazi.

RWBY’s first openly GAY character is a villain. That’s NOT representation. That reinforces homophobic beliefs that lesbians are predatory temptresses that seduce your daughters and sisters to lead them down a path of hellfire and brimstone.

Yes, the sympathetic lesbian who has shown more love and care and respect for Blake than her straight abusive boyfriend.

Adam pretty much exists to DISPROVE your shit on this front. All the bullshit you complain about in Illa ACTUALLY EXISTS in Adam except WORSE.

RWBY has been making transphobic jokes since volume 1 (Penny’s “*gasp* Is she a man?” reference to Blake) Those jokes reinforce the transphobic belief that trans people wear disguises to bait unassuming people so that they can harm them eventually.

A. Name me a single trans person who said that, let alone enough people for me to even consider that.

And B. Adam is cisgendered and a genocidial Nazi. Good luck beating that.

It’s not rocket science. Rooster Teeth’s animated show, “RWBY” has a problem not just with it’s writing, but with diversity. Pure and simple. And this show has had since 2014 to improve. But you’re still surprised that some of us are fucking mad.

And yet every single example you gave not only doesn’t work but would set a standard for STRAIGHT WHITE PEOPLE to complain about their representation. 

You and everyone in RWDE are mad because you WANT to be mad. It justifies the immoral bullshit you pull on a daily basis...

Huh, exactly like Adam.

Guess you guys ARE represented after all. And quite accurately.

[swissmissficrecs]

Hi! I really really love works like Through the Clouds and The Sea in a Chasm and Horse and Carriage where one of the boys proposes marriage or retirement together and the other struggles with what that means about their "friendship". Do you have any other fics you can rec me along that vein? I'd also love fics where Sherlock marries them without telling John!

Reply: I love these too! First of all, here are some relatedlists:

Fakerelationship

Couplestherapy

Gettingtogether late in life

And here are the ones you mentioned in case anyone else would liketo look them up:

Horse andCarriage by flawedamythyst (60K, Teen, Johnlock)Sherlockproposes. John thinks the whole idea is ludicrous.

Through theClouds by mazarin221b (20K, Explicit, Johnlock)Sherlock takesa remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a changeof pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the SouthDowns, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quietcontemplation, bee studies, and book writing.They might go completelyinsane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you’reliving to find the life you want.

The Sea in aChasm [orphaned] (17K, Teen, Johnlock and John/OFC)WhenSherlock decides to retire to Sussex, John decides to find out who heis without Sherlock.

Now I know I have read a couple of fics where Sherlock (or Mycroft) secretly procured a marriage license for them for medical or case-related purposes without John’s knowledge, but unfortunately I am not able to find them right now so if anyone else knows one please let us know! I can give you a bunch of others, though, in which thoughts of marriage lead to angst and re-examination of the relationship:

This is a very close second (and one of my all-time favorite fics)in which Sherlock pretends to be married to John without John’sknowledge:

The Good Morrowseries by greywash (213K, Explicit, Johnlock)My post-S2series where everyone has a lot of feels about everything andplausibility isstretched unto breaking. Also: fucking.

In this one, Sherlock thinks John is going to propose but hedoesn’t, leading to relationship re-evaluation:

Stood in History by philalethia (18K, Explicit, Johnlock)He discovered the ring in John’s sock drawer. It all went a bit downhill from there.

In these, one or the other of them thinks about proposing for areally long time:

a good old-fashioned happy ending by darcylindbergh (32K, Explicit, Johnlock)And Sherlock stands there, in the middle of a Christmas market as John hums along to Silent Night, John’s hand warm in his with fingertips a little gritty from the cinnamon-sugar doused churros they’d shared, and thinks, oh, that’s–that’s an idea, isn’t it?*For Christmas this year, Sherlock wants to get John something special: something every fairytale deserves.

The One With the Proposal by kim47 (22K, Explicit, Johnlock)Proposing shouldn’t be this difficult.Written for this prompt at the kink meme: Remember that episode of Friends where Chandler is going to propose to Monica and how he pretends that he doesn’t care about marriage so she’ll be really surprised? How about a version of it with Sherlock and John with Sherlock being the one that wants to propose but pretends that he has no desire for it?

About Sleep and Coffee and the Existence of Fate by Atiki (17K, Explicit, Johnlock)Naturally, John was startled when suddenly the ultimate solution occurred to him: Marriage. This was, of course, a bit of a fundamental problem rather than an actual solution. One didn’t simply use the words “Sherlock” and “marriage” within the same sentence. Not even in a hypothetical context. (Five times John kind of wanted to propose to Sherlock, and one time he didn’t have to.)

In these, both of them angst a whole lot over getting married:

Sketchy Part 2 by serpentynka (158K, Explicit, Johnlock and Mycroft/OMC)What (and who) will be left when nobody cares about your Work?   A slow-burn fic with cases, places, mistaken identities, unfair choices, essential changes, violent feels, blatant lies, fearless portraiture, family secrets, high-risk bespoke gifts, durable friendships, bedtime stories, foreign travel and tongues, sickness (and health), and the significance of things which are slow to unfurl – but cannot be ignored. Oh, and…porn. (A continuation of plot arcs from Part 1 of Sketchy) When the world’s only consulting detective starts dreaming of bowing out, his dearest person in the world is more than willing to go with him.  It would seem that all that’s left to do is choose a date and leave London.  The machinations that be are never quite what they seem.

God Help Me, I Do by PlainJane (90K, Explicit, Johnlock and Mollstrade)A consulting detective, two doctors, a forensic pathologist, a DI, a senior citizen, a recovering alcoholic and the British government walk into a register office…John and Sherlock have resolved to be together as much more than just colleagues or friends, but how will their relationship change between the proposal and the wedding? Follow along as they learn about themselves and about each other. How will they share their news with those closest to them? How will John adjust to the reality of being in a relationship with a man instead of a woman? How will they both find time and space for personal and professional lives? And how will Sherlock cope with the intensity of true love? Cases, chuckles, angst and lots of good loving on the journey to one very unconventional wedding day.

Set in Stone by SilentAuror (39K, Explicit, Johnlock)Sherlock and John are back from Ravine Valley and planning their wedding. However, as they move past the trial of the human traffickers, Sherlock can't help but wonder if he's imagining that John is becoming a little distant. Surely he isn't getting cold feet about the wedding...

This has a similar premise to Horse and Carriage:

The Important Bit by Solshine (10K, G, Johnlock)Just where exactly is the line between “to love” and “to be in love”? What difference is required between “flatmate” and “husband”? (Besides the rings, obviously.) No, the important bit is that they have each other. Thirty years, give or take, in an atypical marriage. Basically a long bit of platonic domestic fluff.

And finally these in which they get engaged/married for a case(with John’s knowledge) and it becomes serious:

Thanks to the Barbarians by queen_jadis (10K, Explicit, Johnlock)John and Sherlock get married for a case, which both of them find hilarious - until they realise that they can’t get a divorce. The offensive piece of paper has more effect on their relationship than John thinks it has any right to do.

A Case of Identity by jkay1980 (91K, Teen, Johnlock)John and Sherlock have succeeded in rebuilding their friendship after Sherlock’s fake suicide, but an unusual case puts their relationship to the test. They pretend to be engaged and attend a marriage counseling workshop. Under the pretext of the case, Sherlock turns out to be a master of seduction, and John finally learns he might like Sherlock more than he thought. Slowly, John discovers that he loves Sherlock not only in a friendly, brotherly way, but both men have to fight their own demons before they can think of taking their relationship to a new level… 

Till Death Do Us Part by prettysailorsoldier (15K, Mature, Johnlock)When Sherlock links a recent spree of murder-suicides to a psychologist who specializes in marriage counseling, there’s really only one thing to do: Go undercover as a couple in hopes of drawing the killer out. Faking a relationship seems easy enough, but things take a turn when their real issues start to creep into the sessions, and, all the while, a killer is watching, waiting in the shadows for their chance to strike.

Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder by distantstarlight (96K, Explicit, Johnlock)For his entire life Sherlock Holmes has had complete mastery over his transport. He drives it harder than he should, is careless with it, and makes it bend to his will. His transport has always done it’s duty but lately Sherlock’s transport has been making some demands. 

A Silver Sixpence by _doodle (16K, NC-17, Johnlock)John, we need to get married. 

Mountebank by Odamaki (26K, Mature, Johnlock)“I am calm,” John snaps, leaning on the door to glare out at the dark streets around them. Sherlock’s not said where they’re going; all he knows is they came off the ring road to the west of London and have vanished somewhere into the depths of Berkshire. All he knows is that he’s been trussed up in a suit that wasn’t hired from anywhere and if brought new would edge up into the triple figure margins. “Be calmer,” Sherlock advises, with a trace of irony. “We’re going to a party.”

The Newlywed Game: Johnlock Edition by patternofdefiance (9K, Explicit, Johnlock)What it says on the tin: John and Sherlock pretend to be married in order to be contestants in a Newlywed Game.Of course it’s for a case.Of course it doesn’t stay that way.

The Pretence of an Unacknowledged Truth by stickleworting (28K, Explicit, Johnlock)  He’s decided to just be himself, cliché as it sounds. The lie about being Sherlock’s mate will be difficult enough to keep up, he’s not going to think up more of a charade regarding himself on top of that.  If he uses the wrong fork at dinner, fine. If someone calls him on it, he’ll just stab them with it. Job done.First attempt at Omegaverse because a very good friend of mine likes it, and I like my friend. She asked for: alpha!John/omega!Sherlock; age difference; pretend bondmates to meet Sherlock’s family; synthesised bond scent; and bonding in Sherlock’s old bedroom. I think I’m managing to cram it all in for you, sweetpea ;) No mpreg, I’m afraid. That was a stretch too far.

[popculturespiritwow]

THE WICKED + THE DIVINE #23: PROFILES IN PLUMAGE

LIFE AFTER MOMMY

While Issue 23 is in a sense a prelude to the arc proper, magazine-style profiles of our Pantheon post-Blood Blister-Ananke-Pop!, one of the great elements of the issue is how it lays out the new status quo within interviews that are the fruit entirely of online role play between Kieron and the interviewers. In other words, the interviewers didn’t have a sense of the story goals, they were just approaching their subjects the way they would in real life, and it was up to Kieron to improvise in a couple key notes – Baal as now Responsible Father Figure/Super Hero who is Going to Stop the Great Darkness and Wear Suits**; Laura as Maybe Actually the Destroyer After All Tho; Morrigan receding into the Undeworld with Baphomet; Ammy’s continued insistence that everything is going to turn out super great for everybody; Woden making a machine to “mimic” people’s powers (see: things that will also work out super great for everybody); oh, and everybody’s still going to die, tick tock. 

It’s all a pretty big gamble and it works really really well.

**Just realizing, the guy who makes it his mission in Imperial Phase to protect Minerva is simultaneously quietly killing children. Wow I don’t know how to feel about any of that.

TOMATO, TOMATO

What is this thing we’re reading, issue #23? Is it a comic book recreating itself for an issue as a magazine in order to do something fun and different and also expand the whole “gods viewed as celebrities” concept, show us how the Pantheon are viewed by the wider world?

Certainly that’s how it presents itself. And I dare you to find an issue of another book that does that as well, from layout to shot selection to the kinds of narratives it weaves. And other than the Chris Eliopolis-style three panel strip that ends the issue, and maybe Jamie’s four panels depicting Ananke’s death, there’s not a lot about what goes on within the issue that seems to resemble the storytelling methods of a comic.

But its cover is 100% comic book. We’re given an issue number, the title of the comic, the creative team, the production company. The page dimension are also those of every other issue of the series. And the cover design, Baal against the white background, as though having escaped the comic book frame which now hangs over his shoulder, is the design for the Imperial Phase run of issues.

The back cover fronts (backs?) the magazine vibe, replacing the series’ normal quote from within the book with an advertisement for a Persephone-branded phone. (I have to believe in a world where the ring tone is “Persephone is in Hell.”)  But even there, if you want to be picky, you’ve got the bar code and comic book rating in the bottom right. 

So it’s a comic book, right, doing celebrity rag really well and why am I wasting your time debating about this. But then there’s this... even if it’s not in a way like pretty much any comic book the art of the issue does generate story, in the way that magazines of its variety do, costume plus setting plus pose revealing character and plotline.

And not only that but the fullness of the story being told in each article and the issue as a whole is a result precisely as a result of the interactions between art and text. Indeed, the very choice of photos first to take and then to use emerges out of both the text of the story and the pre-interview idea for the story that the writer or editor brought. 

Clearly issue 23 is the band we love at the top of their game innovating even further and making us think that much more. But maybe it’s also a way of highlighting not that a comic can be a magazine, but that in the way they deliver story, magazines are actually a kind of comic books themselves.

WHO TO GET TO WRITE YOUR PROFILE IF YOU’RE NOT A TOOL

Kevin Wada’s art is just fantastic, both spot on for the kind of magazine the issue is trying to present and also with just the perfect shot selection for the characters.

That two page spread of Baal or the crazy shot of Woden. Wow.

But for me the gold of the issue is the fresh insights the article authors bring to the characters.

“It’s why fans love her,” Leigh Alexander writes of the Morrigan. “She creates spaces where it all feels inevitable, and therefore okay. Or definitely, assuredly not okay, so you can stop pretending, You can stop struggling. Or you can only struggle. Either way it’s a relief.” The blessing of the Morrigan, yes it’s a nightmare, you’re right, and with that truth, an easing of the pain. (I love all the articles, but Alexander’s is particularly wonderful. The feeling she has for the Morrigan gives the piece such pathos.)

Or here’s Dorian Lynskey, writing about Baal. “This, then, is Baal’s spin for the day: there will be a plan. We mortals might not know what it is, it may not even be decided yet, but there will be one. DO I believe it? I’m not sure. But I believe that Baal believes it. After so much blood and chaos, he needs to believe it.”

(Did Lynskey have any idea of the secrets Baal was hiding? I don’t think so. And yet knowing what we know not, could his piece be any more dead on?)

In her profile of Woden, author Laurie Penny says “He takes women and turns them into videogame cheesecake. He takes women and turns them into something less than human, something comprehensible and controllable, with clear win conditions.”

She also kids that his workshop is like the Batcave, and follows with another incredibly prescient remark: “’Where’s Alfred? Or...no, hang on. You’re Alfred.”   

Mary HK Choi’s insistence on often calling Lucifer by her birth name, which at first works as a refusal to take the claims of godhood as anything more than as millennial celebrity publicity stunt; but then becomes part of insisting on Luci’s innocence and vulnerability: “Lucifer if perfect right now – vibrant and happy. And while there is a humane aspect to  the fatalistic branding, the finite relevance that is the reality of the celebrity industrial complex in the age of social media, it’s still super sad.

“When she’s skipping to the mall, shudder at how her parents (unrepentant Beatles fans) conceived her on the night of a Blur gig...she is very much a kid. A kid swaggering to impress you and thousands of people for whom everything is performance.”

(Also, we get that great quote from Kieron, “Being the devil is knowing you’re lost.” Rather than Purveyor of Lies, Lucifer once again as the one who understands the lie within it all.)

Lastly, here’s Ezekiel Kweku, after hearing Ammy explain away Ananke’s death: “She looks preternaturally serene, godlike once more. For some reason, this makes me even sadder.”

(“She doesn’t want you to see in her a deconstructed divinity, she wants to appear as whole and uncomplicated as an undivided beam of light,” is so perfect as sentences go I would be filled with a jealous rage if I could stop enjoying it.)

NO BUT SURE ANOTHER WOODY ALLEN MOVIE IS FINE THO

I do this newsletter on pop culture and spirituality called Pop Culture Spirit Wow. (Join us and we can rule the galaxy forever.) And the week  Avengers: Infinity War came out I did a whole thing on the history of the Avengers, including some of their most iconic storylines.

And in doing research, I stumbled upon this post from former Avengers writer Jim Shooter, who insists that Hank Pym “was not a wife-beater”. The famous moment where Pym hits Janet van Dyne, he said was actually the mistake of the artist. “In that story (issue 213, I think),” Shooter writes, “there is a scene in which Hank is supposed to have accidentally struck Jan while throwing his hands up in despair and frustration—making a sort of ‘get away from me’ gesture while not looking at her.  Bob Hall, who had been taught by John Buscema to always go for the most extreme action, turned that into a right cross!” And it was too late to fix it, so they had to go with it. 

Years later, Bob Hall responded, saying Shooter “had never said he didn’t like the slap panel”, but that he could believe he’d made a mistake, because he was young and didn’t know what he was doing.

But I don’t know, this is a pretty different from an “accidental slap”:

Also, what precipitates this terrible moment is Pym on trial for having seemingly shot a woman in the back (turns out she was a robot) and feeling a lot of pressure. The issue features Tigra worrying about Jan and wondering why she stays with him. “Don’t you see you’re worth ten of him?” she asks.

And after his “accidental slap” he flips out in court, ultimately sending in a robot to save him.

So I don’t know, actually an accidental slap feels a lot less likely than what was drawn. (Actually it feels exactly like what someone who just hit a woman says to try and get away with it.)

Once it “happened”, Shooter and Marvel were “stuck” with it (#TheRealVictims), and Shooter had to rethink where he was headed with the characters. Jan files for divorce next issue, in fact.

If you look at the history of comics, you won’t find many moments like this, at least not at the Big Two. Men do not hit women.

Unless they have powers, that is. Then it’s kind of all fair, or at least occasionally permissible. And it never comes up in later conversation. It’s just the way things are. She was super strong, she hit me first, of course it’s okay. 

In both the Morrigan and Baal pieces the characters talk about Baal having hit her. That attack happened twelve issues ago (when you include the 1831 special), and it’s still considered a significant ongoing story point for both characters.

Once again, WicDiv making us consider things that the world kind of ignores. (Or even enjoys.)

DENIAL, THE NEW FRAGRANCE

The very last beat of this issue, the wacky cartoon, is maybe the hardest hitting punch of all.

They’ve been through all this craziness, they’ve found out they were being manipulated all this time, and they just straight murdered someone. So what do they do now?

What else? They party.

It’s like the Danger Laura Wilson warning of the first two arcs, but now applied to the whole group, and just as firmly ignored. The only one who really seems to understand at all it is Luci, and she’s dead, er, a living head stuck in a cave we won’t know about for another year of issues.