#oh btw this is obviously after he got the hang of being solid

[giddlygoat]

some happy ghost luigi stuff… for the soul 💚

[rocksanddeadflowers]

Couple extra thoughts:

Oh god if the trolls didn't drop Lyf the whole time and turned to stone while holding Lyf ..... That would suck (comedic intent). Imagining them trying so hard to wriggle out to no avail, and the trio is stuck just trying to carefully break the stone apart to free Lyf. The boys clambering up this frozen giant of lifeless stone, using whatever they have to chip and crack at the rocky hand. At first it's really scary cause what if there's a fluke and the troll wakes back up? Or what if it breaks wrong and Lyf falls and hurts themself? If the stone cuts and stabs them?

After about an hour of working on it however, it just becomes tedious and boring. They probably chatter as they work, Lyf explaining trolls in more depth and getting teased for caring about Tim and Bertie (none of them have to energy to tackle what actually just happened atm, so light hearting teasing helps) After a multiple hours of Lyf hanging there, they've made pretty decent progress and eventually it's just Bertie working away at the stone while Tim stands below in case he needs to catch Lyf.

(Tim probably has his goggles by this point so since Bertie needs a cane, it's easier for Tim to get up and down and keep his balance. Bertie is more articulate about where to hit the stone anyway. Lyf repeatedly requests they don't do this because it's more likely he'll get hit by falling stone but they ignore Lyf. He does end up having to catch Lyf btw. And probably Bertie too bc it's easier to just fall off than attempt to climb down.)

Also way unrelated but .... There's one story I vaguely remember about an island full of trolls that would cast stones and curses to traveling ships. There was this one ship that was preparing to turn back when the priest on board got pissed and threw his Bible at the trolls. As the trolls read from the book, they turned to rolling grassy hills and stones, and the lang plagued of them no more. (This story and their whole aversion to Christianity was obviously probably bc of the era where Christians and Pagans intermingled and compromised. At least I assume.)

I'm bringing this up cause I fully pictured Galahad existing in CoCaL and being the priest in this myth for a solid minute there. I'm not particularly attached to actually putting this into canon but it is a funny image to me.

Thinking about the war trio while traversing the wilderness, the light waning just looking for a good place to lay for the night, with Lyf freezes. Dread is clear on their features, ears back and wings taunt and tail flicking. They motion for Tim and Bertie to be silent, to back up, get low, anything just be unnoticeable. They try to ask what's wrong, what Lyf is afraid of, and Lyf has to admit it's not themself that they're scared for. There's almost certainly trolls down the way, and pose little threat to Lyf, but much danger to Tim and Bertie that upon noticing their presence Lyf felt ice go through their veins.

Tim and Bertie know next to nothing of trolls, really, but they listen and back away. Or course they're a little excited maybe? Mostly Tim. About Lyf being genuinely concerned about them. Besides, they don't know what exactly the danger trolls pose to them.

I just. Am thinking about trolls ..... Maybe Lyf is stuck interacting with them, and maybe they're really nice to Lyf but god Lyf is terrified of them finding Tim and Bertie, especially if the trolls know exactly what kind of humans Tim and Bertie are. Also maybe some teasing from Bertie later on after troll lore dump from Lyf saying "well Tim is the only one in any real danger since he's such a pretty lady" as a way to lighten the mood. Trolls .........

[ofallthingsnasty]

I think we are the same person because Overhaul got me into writing dead dove too. I felt like at the time not many people were writing him how I see him- more than a germaphobe whose afraid to get dirty.

Also I totally get you. I don't think he's a medical professional at all, but I do think he has a fetish for it (or maybe I'm just projecting LOL.) I think medicine is more of a "hobby" for him. Like a mad scientist. He reads about surgery and thinks about trying them out. I mean, nothing can really go wrong considering his quirk. Like if he maims you too bad then poof don't worry.

Omg you're crazy cool btw. I can't imagine being able to do that sort of stuff. I'm thankful people like you exist! Also you'd hate me, I need my wisdom teeth removed but I'm afraid of doctors. (Ironic I know 😭)

He would totally use catheters even when completely unnecessary. You don't want to pee infront of him? Guess what. Catheter time. LOL. Going on a long trip with him? You obviously can't control yourself. Guess what. Catheter time. He'd probably keep it taped to your thigh with a cute bandaid if you're lucky. Maybe cover it with a frilly garter. He'd probably talk really loudly about how you need to be checked and pull your dress up to feel around your tummy. He'd push around your full bladder and say stuff like "Why didn't you tell me you needed to go. This is exactly why we have to do this." Even though he was the one who made you drink all that water and ignored you when you tried to tell him that you needed to go.

You probably wet yourself in fear the first time you met him, maybe he exploded some people infront of you and you just couldn't stop it. Now he has to take care of you 😔 You're so interesting and clearly broken.

Overhaul is really the perfect vessel for gross fetishes. He'd probably get hard giving you a regular ultrasound- let alone a transvaginal one. My gosh I want his gloved fingers in my mouth so bad, just tugging my lips apart 😭 BLAH he sucks. ❤️

Also, another random headcanon I have is that he'd like to use general anesthesia. For fun. He'd force you to inhale some weird smelling stuff while you struggle and then you'd wake up with him all like :) next to you LOL.

anon shajdhsajk- you NEED to share your writing, your thoughts are making me sweat over here (only if you're comfy with it of course sgahgds) oh and i get my last two wisdom teeth removed in three weeks -- you can do it too!! i believe in you 💖 tw. piss, malpractice, medical stuff

The way he'd be a total butcher... 😭 You need a whole team to perform surgeries and he... has Hari? That's probably it. I think you'd probably die a few times because that even happens in OMS surgeries and when you have to do five jobs at once it's pretty much guaranteed. Just imagine suddenly waking up on that table with a slightly sweaty Overhaul hovering over you because he had to be quick 😭 His quirk really is failsafe- but that also means that he'd experiment on you until he gets the hang of it. Books are all nice and dandy but seeing the real thing is SO different. There is blood everywhere and it's all pink and red and structures vary from body to body. (And he just tries again and again and again.) Just imagine waking up and not being able to move the right side of your face because he cut through some strands of your facial nerve (or something worse, like completely bling or unable to move some limbs). And of course, he could overhaul you but he could also leave you like this a little longer as a punishment (when it fits-) The possibilities are endless and terrifying. 🥴 And omg I had to laugh so hard at the mental image of him being all smiley after surgery - just, him doing that little animal crossing villager happy face but it's totally fake because that man just can't smile to save his life aghasgh - and you're all groggy and out of it, trying to comprehend what's happening. Just staring at him for a solid minute until it clicks. Thank you thank you thank you for sharing more catheter thoughts, I am salivating over them. Ugh the way he's obnoxiously into it 🥴 I just want to be babied like that, okay? Can't even be trusted to use the toilet, one of the most basic things ever hhhh And yeah - the wetting during the first meeting fits sooo well. You, a grown adult, wetting yourself in front of him? God, you're pathetic. Just look at you standing there - trembling, snot and tears all over your face, a puddle of piss at your feet… It IS kinda cute and you don't even run. Of course he has to take you with him, that isn't even a question 🥺

Also may I run away with that catheter idea (with credit of course)? I couldn't stop thinking about it after I answered your ask 'yesterday' (2 am for me haha) and I researched a lot… I'd love to write a short blurb about it, because I am just SO in love with that idea, goodness 😳💖 It just really scratches an itch I didn't know I had hhhh. I am going crazy over this, for real 😳

[cblgblog]

Imagine that AU where Peter's accused of some very terrible crime(s), and while he has a rock solid alibi - he's on video and EVERYTHING! - he can't use it. Because it's Spiderman on video, with an alibi, and proof of where he was. Peter Parker just has a blank space of time with nothing to show for it, and nothing he can say. He's obviously hiding something, he's jittery, he's scared, and May trying to defend him when she doesn't even know what his alibi is (or who he really is in the mask)

So I have…basically an amalgamation of 3 scenes going in my head for this.

1.       The ‘Did you do it’ scene from Defending Jacob where Andy/Captain America straight up asks his kid if he murdered the boy people think he murdered.

2.       The ‘I can’t sleep!’ scene from The Amazing Spider-man (2012) which is a flawed but massively underrated film, fight me. Where Sally Field! May asks Peter where he goes at night, what’s happening to him, why he’s hurt, and, “Secrets have a cost, they’re not for free. Not now, not ever.”

3.       Marisa Tomei! May in Spider-man: Homecoming. The, “You have to tell me what’s going on!” scene.

All of these are Good Scenes btw, and short, and I recommend watching them if you haven’t but anyway. No Irondad here, because eww, no, never, but some references to actual Spider-man canon, whether Feige likes it or not.

Fuck Irondad, let Peter have his own movie, justice for May Parker.

****

May and Peter having to leave their apartment building. Neighbors they’ve known for years not talking to them, not looking them in the eye. Hell, maybe the ‘Murderer burn in hell’ bit from Defending Jacob shows up in there too, where there’s graffiti on their apartment door, you need a key to get into the building, but of course no one saw anything. Them having to stay with Ned’s family.

Peter’s getting all kinds of shit suddenly for being the weird kid who snuck off all the time, and the only ones who don’t treat him like a leper are Ned and MJ. And MJ digs murderers anyway, so while he’s glad of the support, it doesn’t exactly help his rep.

May who will defend him to anyone and everyone. No, no it isn’t weird that his computer stuff was completely wiped when the cops showed with their warrants. He’s a teenage boy, embarrassed of his search history, that’s all.  May doesn’t know that he and Ned had to scorched earth everything because of the weird shit one Googles as a superhero, but she knows he wasn’t looking up murder techniques, okay?

No, it’s not weird that he had cuts and bruises and things when they dragged him in. Boys and their roughhousing, no he doesn’t play any sports, but who hasn’t woken up with bruises they can’t explain?

Her nephew is a good boy. Her son is a good boy, damn you. Sure there were some fights last year, but her husband had just been murdered and those kids had been bullying Peter for years but no, no he doesn’t have anger issues, he’s not a murderer!

May and Peter alone at Ned’s place some night. Ned and his fam have gone to get food, give some space and get it. Peter and May…they don’t really walk around the old stomping grounds anymore. Them alone in the house after weeks of this and May just, “Are you on drugs?”

Calm as hell question that startles Peter away from the book he wasn’t reading. “What? I—what?”

“Are you on drugs?”

“No?” More a question than he means it to be but, the hell?

“Are you selling them? Were you selling them?”

“What? What are you—”

“I know you’ve been worried about money since Ben died. Even though I told you not to. But I get it. So if you were—”

“May! May, I’m not…no. No drugs. No using or selling or anything. I don’t even watch Breaking Bad.”

Slight relaxation of May’s shoulders, twitch of a smile that doesn’t go to her eyes. “Okay. Okay. Where were you?”

“May, I, I told you I can’t—”

“No. No more “you can’t,” Peter. Because this? Not going away. I thought these assholes would come to their senses, find the real person—”

“May—”

“But they’re not. They’re not, and they’re not going to. All they see is you, Peter, so you…”

And holy shit, May’s crying. Or so close to it that there’s no difference. Jesus, May is crying, and she’s already cried so much since Ben, but always when she thought Peter wasn’t aware. Now they’re here, in front of each other, and she’s just, just crying.

“All they see is you,” May says, clearing her throat. “And that’s all they’re going to see until we give them a reason to look somewhere else, so you have to tell me. You have to tell me, not them. Me.”

“May…”

“Peter, it’s just us, just me and you, okay? So you tell me, and we’ll figure it out. But you…you have to tell me. You have to tell me, because it’s just us. We’re all we have right now, baby. You’re…you’re all I have. And I can’t lose you, understand? Not you too.”

“Aunt May,” he rarely calls her that anymore, rarely adds the title, not since he turned double-digits. But Aunt May looks so small now, and she’s making him feel small. Smaller than he’s felt since Uncle Ben died. Because of him. And now Aunt May’s suffering again. Because of him. “Aunt May, you won’t lose me, okay? I prom—”

“Peter!”

She’s still in tears, but she says it sharply enough that he very nearly jumps to the ceiling. Literally.

“Peter,” she says, much softer, but still laced with steel. “Peter, I know you snuck out of our house every night. I know that half the time you said you were with Ned, you weren’t. I know you weren’t doing your robotics stuff because you quit that three months ago. I know you don’t stay late studying at the library. Who the hell goes to libraries to study anymore, Peter?”

Peter’s got no answer to that, hangs his head.

“Everyone thinks I’m this clueless, gullible, uninvolved parent, too stupid to know what her kid is doing.”

“That’s not true, Aunt May.”

“I know it’s not. Or I thought I knew.”

That one hurts, twists Peter’s guts even as May reaches for him, takes his face in her hands.

“I knew what you were doing. Knew enough, I thought. Ben gone, losing the house, me barely keeping us above water.”

“Aunt May, you—”

“I thought you had things to figure out. I thought—fuck, I don’t know what I thought. But I knew I couldn’t blame you for not wanting to be around here, around me.”

That’s too far. That’s too much, and Peter pulls her into a hug because he has to. “You’re so wrong. That’s—no, Aunt May. I love you so much. I love you so, so much.”

“I love you too.”

“I’ve never wanted to be away from you. I never will.”

May pulls back then, cups his face in both of hers. “Then you have to tell me, Peter. You have to tell me, baby, because they want to take you away. And I am never, never going to let that happen, but you have to help me, baby. I can’t…” What’s left of her composure crumples. “I can’t do this on my own. Any of it. Don’t you dare make me.”

Peter tries to say something, he doesn’t know what, but all that comes out is a sob.

“Secrets have a cost, Peter, always. And whatever this one is, whatever you’re hiding? It’s going to cost us everything. Were you doing something else illegal, something different? Are you covering for someone? Is someone threatening you, hurting you?” She looks sick at the thought, but her voice is steel and her grip on Peter goes painful tight, even for him. “Because if they are, Peter, I swear to God. I swear to God, baby, I’ll make them stop. I’ll make them stop; I’ll kill them. You just have to—”

He can’t hear anymore of this. He can’t. Because he is doing something illegal, he is covering for someone, and someone is hurting him, but none of it in the way she thinks. “You haven’t asked me the big question.”

“What?”

“You keep asking me questions, but not…you haven’t asked if I did it.”

May looks stricken at that. A strange combination of stricken and baffled. “No.”

“Because you don’t…” He can barely say it. “Because you don’t want to know?”

Somehow the horror on her face intensifies and Peter wants to die, wishes for the thousandth time it was him, not Uncle Ben, but he doesn’t have to see that look on her face for long, doesn’t get to. May pulls him down, holds his face against her shoulder, grips onto him with the painful, desperate, grounding hold.

“Because I know, Peter. I know my boy. I know who you are, Peter. I know who you are. Oh baby, shhh.”

He can’t though. He can’t be quiet anymore, and he has to, and it’s killing him, and all he can do is sob into her and sink into her until they’re both sat in the middle of the Leeds’s living room floor, shaking and crying in the dark, behind closed curtains.

[nuka-colacherry]

could you maybe do a react to the starlight drive-in still working, but only playing a ballroom dancing scene from an old movie on loop? maybe some dancin and cutenessssss

Wow this is an adorable prompt !! I don't know anything about ballroom dancing so imagine this more similar to square dancing because that's what I was picturing (even though I'm not exactly sure what that is either) I'm sorry this took so long btw. I wrote it out and tumblr ate it :( but I think its better now anyway. All companions are romanced in this btw.

Sole wasn't sure what to expect when their companion and them ended up at the Starlight Drive-in, but this wasn't it. The large screen was worn from centuries of neglect, but the clip of people in beautiful ballroom gowns and fancy tuxedos dancing back and forth was unmistakable. Faint classical music still played from the working speakers. The moon was full and bathing the field in soft glow. Overall, it magical scene. Both paused a few seconds, watching the screen.

Cait: Sole turned to Cait and grinned.

"Hey Cait! May I have this dance?" They asked sarcastically with a bow/curtsey.

"Are ya fuckin' kidding? I'm not a dancer." Cait replied. She obviously was unamused. Sole frowned, they honestly really did want to dance with Cait.

"Aw. Come on Cait! One dance please. It'll be fun!" Sole begged, flashing Cait their best "puppy dog eyes." Cait paused and looked at Sole, before finally letting out a sigh.

"You better not step on my foot." She grumbled and offered Sole her hand. Sole smiled and graciously took it. The dance started off slow and unsteady, but a faint smile eventually found it's way to Cait's lips. She wasn't necessarily enjoying the dance itself, but doing stuff with Sole always made her pretty happy. As the dance finished Sole leaned forward and gave Cait a quick peck on the lips.

"I love you." Sole told her with a smile.

Curie: "Oh my! That's quite an interesting scene! Look at how fancy they are!!" Curie pointed at the screen. She hadn't seen anyone dressed like that before. "Have you ever gone to a ball similar to that one?" Curie asked curiously.

"Once. It was a work event and not nearly as fancy," Sole shrugged before pausing for a few seconds to think, "Would like to try dancing with me?" Curie's eyes widened in excitement. "It would be an honor!" Curie giggled as Sole held her hands. Their dancing wasn't the smoothest. Curie sometimes struggled to keep up with Sole, but the fact that they were enjoying themselves was all that mattered. A wide smile ended up gracing both of their faces by the time Sole ended the dance with a sweet kiss.

Danse: "Dance with me, Danse!" Sole demanded with a playful smile. They really wanted to know if Danse was a good dancer.

"I don't think that would be appropriate, solider." Danse stated with stern expression. He didn't understand why Sole would want to dance in the middle of an open field. It seemed ridiculous to him. Sole frowned, aware that Danse was probably going to be stuck up about professionalism and safety, but they had to know.

"Danse, this is fate. Scenarios like this don't come up like this for no reason. We were meant to dance tonight." They half joked. "Now give me your hand. Live a little, hun." They demanded. Danse stared at Sole in contemplation before finally giving in, knowing that they wouldn't give it up. Sole began the dance, guiding Danse through the motions. Naturally, Danse started the dance as stiff as ever, but as the song went on he slowly loosened up. By the end, he even looked like it he was somewhat enjoying it.

"Now, was that so bad?" Sole asked with a knowing smile when the music finally faded out.

"..No it wasn't." He replied, his face had flushed in embarrassment.

"I guess they dont call you Danse for nothing." Sole joked, whilst giving Danse a kiss on the cheek.

Deacon: "Hey Deacon. You feeling up to dancing?" Sole asked with a grin.

"Sole, if you're gonna ask, you gotta ask properly. Like this." Deacon replied, straightening up his posture before bowing deeply. "May I have this dance?" He asked dramatically. He reached out for Sole's hand and kissed it.

"Why, of course!" Sole gasped, playing along and taking Deacon's extended hand. Deacon led the dance, and was surprisingly good at it. Sole wasn't sure how he knew how to dance like this, but they weren't complaining. It was pretty romantic. Eventually, the music faded and Deacon ended the dance with a sweet kiss. "We should dance more often. It was fun." He said with a chuckle.

Hancock: "We have to dance to this! It'll be magical!!" Sole told him, bouncing on the balls of their feet in excitement.

"This whole thing is like a scene out a movie." They said, explaining themselves futher.

Hancock laughed at Sole's idea. Then he hummed to himself, pretending to debate it. He already knew he was going to say yes. He just wanted to tease Sole for a for few seconds. Sole pleaded with him, explaining how it will be a lot of fun.

"Sure, why the hell not." He told them with a shrug. He wasn't exactly a bad dancer, but it was pretty clear that he hadn't ever really danced like this before. Their pace was a little fast for a ballroom dance, and they kept tripping on the overgrown grass. But doing something that depended on team work and wasn't dangerous was refreshing to both of them. They ended it with a passionate kiss and lots of laughter.

MacCready: MacCready watched the screen for a few seconds.

"Jeez. That's awfully fancy." He muttered mostly to himself. He noticed Sole perking up with an idea beside him.

"You know, I went to a dance like that once! I can show you how to do it if you want." Sole grinned.

"Jeez. I don't really know about that Sole. I'm not exactly a dancer." MacCready hesitated. His face had already slightly flushed from the idea of it. The fear of embarrassment was real.

"Come on! It's easy once you get the hang of it. I'll be a great teacher." Sole reassured him.

".. Fine. Just don't laugh okay?" He said.

Sole gently grasped MacCready's hand and slowly started guiding MacCready through the motions, ignoring him occasionally stepping on their foot. MacCready never really got the hang of it, unfortunately. His consistent stepping on Sole's foot and tripping over himself made the dance rather of awkward. Sole still kept a small smile on their face. They were content just being around MacCready. They stopped a few seconds before the song stopped.

"Well! Rhat was something." Sole told him, laughing softly.

"I told you I'm not a dancer!" MacCready said defensively as Sole shushed with with a kiss on the cheek.

"It's okay. We can practice again later."

Nick Valentine: "I bet we can dance better than them." Sole joked. Nick snorted in response, and gave them a questioning look.

"What you don't believe me?" They asked. "I can show you if you want."

"You don't exactly seem like the dancing type."

"Again, I'll show you." They said, now determined to prove Nick wrong. Sole carefully wrapped their hand with his, taking first steps of the dance and guiding Nick along. Finally, Nick committed and started dancing too. Out of all of the possible dance partners, Nick was probably the best one. Old Nick's memories had given him a sense of prewar class that was rare to find in people in the wasteland that seemed to give him an advantage at stuff like this. They danced quietly, silently focusing om the music and each other. It seemed to end as quickly as it began. As they separated Nick gave Sole a kiss on the cheek.

"I told you we would be good." They whispered to him with a smile.

Piper: "Did people actually dance like that, Blue?" Piper didn't understand the appeal of it all. It seemed so extra to her.

"I mean. It wasn't super common in my lifetime, but I went to a dance similar to this once for work. It's fun if you know your partner." Sole explained.

"Oh."

"Why? Do you want to try it?"

"What! No. I don't think it would be my thing." Piper laughed.

"Come on! It might be fun. Worst case scenario we don't ever do it again." Sole reach out, offering Piper their hand. Piper stared for a few seconds before taking it.

"Fine Blue. Let's try this." Sole flashed Piper a smile as they gently started guiding her through the motions. After a few moments she started catching on.

"This isn't too bad." Piper said, as the song started to end. "I don't I would do this with anyone else but.." she trailed off. Sole didn't comment and just smiled at her again. Eventually, the song began to fade out and the dance ended. Sole gave Piper a quick kiss.

"You're an natural." They chuckled.

Preston: Sole stared at the screen in wonder for a few more seconds. Simple things like movies seemed so amazing after spending months in the commonwealth.

"Hey Preston! Want to dance with me?" Sole asked, bouncing on their toes in excitement.

"No offense babe, but can you even dance?" Preston asked with legitimate curiosity.

"Preston, baby, I can dance. The real question is can you?" They teased. Preston laughed in response.

"I mean I can try." He said with a shrug.

Sole reached out and grabbed Preston's hand and got in the proper position to dance with him. They somewhat clumsily began the dance, guiding Preston along with a smile. Preston wasn't half bad at dancing, especially if you took into consideration that he hasn't ever done this before. As the dance continued on they got better at it, and by the time the music began to fade as the song ended they really looked like dancers. Eventually, they separated and Preston leaned forward to give Sole a sweet lil kiss.

X6: "Hey X6! Do yo-"

"No."

"You didn't even hear what I was going to say!" Sole complained. They just wanted to dance with X6.

"I don't need to. I know what you're going to say sir/ma'am. The answer is no." He stated. He turned and continued walking in the direction of wherever they were going, not even looking back.

[dykeferatu]

VAMPIRE DYKE RANT INCOMING

so anna and dani are kindred who's fledgling and early neonate years were during the tail end of the frontier. dani (my oc) was a humble cowboy who had to run from his hometown for dyking it up too much. he started disguising himself as a man to avoid those troubles, which only kind of worked because he did continue to dyke it up (fuck lots of women) but he was always on the move anyway so it didn't matter much! eventually though a bunch of his cattle started to get mysteriously sick and when he investigated he got chomped. a suck-and-run. he never saw his sire again. gangrel btw. unlife was hard for him but he managed to survive until he stumbled upon anna

i don't actually know anna's human backstory but she's a toreador who was embraced a little bit before dani. her sire was trying to establish camarilla power in what would become southern california. anna was embraced to be her sire's personal pawn & sheriff. dani came across the town she was in and her sire was immediately like "Um what the hell. oh hang on i can use this" so dani started working for them 👍

anna didn't like dani at first because she obviously thought he was a man. but she was also strangely attracted to him and after the Reveal she was like "oh" [lesbian awakening] and they eventually became a thing <3 so cute. young love. they lasted until anna's power grabs became too unethical and she was asking dani to help her do something really fucked up (what was it? idk we never figured it out LOL) and dani was like "what the hell anna. we're not doing that" and she was like "wtf do u not love me???? ok i'll do it without u." then dani sabotaged her plans and they became Enemies

what it boiled down to though was anna constantly being a nuisance and fucking with dani over the decades without actually hurting him (physically) too bad because she never really got over him. dani went with the anarchs during the revolt and anna stayed with the cam so they saw less of each other. nevertheless there was a lot of animosity between them and they could not be in the same place without getting into it. it would be pretty obvious to onlookers that they had History, but the observant among them would notice that anna had access to animalism and dani had celerity. leading many a neonate to think "can they just fuck and get this over with." don't worry dear reader i'm getting to that

some time in the indeterminate future anna rolls the worst blunt ever and is asked to leave the camarilla. sorry i don't think we ever had solid lore for this either but she DOES fuck something up real bad and she does leave the camarilla. a kind and generous baron helps her lay low, in exchange for a few jobs. dani is also working some jobs :) so they have to do it together :))) so they have a "begrudgingly working together" arc and kind of start to make up and ummm yeah on their last job together they do fuck. but they immediately regret it because they were really just living in the past and not seeing each other for who they are now. their entire unlives have been defined by each other and neither of them know themselves! dani squared all his debts and left town. said he'd come back but who knows... anna just hung around and was depressed the end

maybe in a century or so they can try again

ART DUMP BROUGHT TO U BY MY EX HIIIII @cradlingsongs

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i love vampire/vampire relationships. who wants to hear about my old west lesbian vampires and their dyke drama

[jedimordsith]

You mentioned that you've come to have more empathy for Yoday but still wouldn't recommend him as a direct master for anyone. What were/are your biggest issues with him? There are several I could guess, and probably some I agree with, but I don't want to assume.

Ahahahaha. I’m in a ranty mood this week, so it’s a great time to tackle this ask! Here’s more than anyone ever wanted to know about my Yoda Feels. 

My problems with Yoda come down to a couple things. 

We have entirely different learning/teaching styles. 

I have zero tolerance for cryptic shavit when there’s *actual communication* that needs to happen. 

A lot of Yoda’s behaviors make sense when viewed in the context of the PT but I formed most of my opinions based on the OT before the PT was a Thing. 

I don’t agree with the approach Yoda took in swanning off to Dagobah post RotS. AT ALL. 

Different Learning/Teaching Styles

(In ESB) Yoda very much follows the Greek and Buddhist styles of teaching where masters ask questions that don’t necessarily have solid answers. This is a valid style and something @atamascolily consistently captures gorgeously in her fics. It also absolutely makes me want to stab people. 

I’m like Mara Jade: a task-oriented learner. I want to know what I’m supposed to learning/mastering, why, how I’ll demonstrate success, and what the checkpoints are along the way. Meandering philosophical debates as part of an ill-defined training process are maddening. As noted, as I get older I am more accepting of this as a legit style and just not for me; this makes Yoda more sympathetic as a character but not any less annoying. 

Also, when Luke asks honest and reasonable questions in ESB (like “why”) Yoda shuts him down flat and I’m extremely not okay with that. Luke is being genuine and respectful despite his own frustrations and as someone who is committing his life to the Jedi path he has both a right and a need to know things. Demanding blind faith when there are or should be reasonable answers of some kind is Not Okay. 

Just Communicate Dammit!

With Ben Kenobi and Bail Organa gone, Yoda was the only person around holding a lot of key information. Did he share that information? Nope. He wandered around being a cryptic little troll “because Luke wasn’t ready” despite knowing full well that his health was failing. He gave Luke none of the information he actually needed to make informed decisions and didn’t even freaking write anything down!!  

From a Doylist perspective, this is obviously largely because George Lucas et al hadn’t figured out any of the backstory yet. From a Watsonian perspective, this is unforgivable. 

If your time is short (as his time with Luke was destined to be no matter how things went), it is critically important to be clear and use your time well. Yoda just didn’t. 

Obnoxious Troll vs Grandpa Frog

The PT very much sets Yoda up as Grandpa Frog, a beloved grandfather figure who teaches the younglings regularly and who everyone understands as mischievous but loving. Viewed in that sense, a lot of how he treats Luke in ESB makes sense… but it doesn’t make it okay. 

The younglings at the Temple literally grew up around the Force and Yoda. Luke did not. Luke didn’t even know WTF the Force was until he was almost 20. He got like 24 hours of introduction to it before Ben died. Compliments of Palpatine and the Purge and the war, there is almost no information available to him between ANH and ESB except what he figures out himself. Yet Yoda treats him like a disappointment and a failure for not understanding the scope of the Force and having doubts about its power. 

Guess what? If Luke had grown up in the Temple, yeah, he’d be all about raising X-wings out of swamps. But he didn’t. He grew on repressed for his own safety on a farm in the middle of nowhere without a hint of a clue. 

Now, through the lens of the PT, I can see Luke being a frustrating student for Yoda. He’s used to getting younglings who have been exposed to and trained in the Force by a range of other Jedi. Starting with an older student suffering from a ton of trauma and without any of the basics that he has to train in less than a fraction of the time shaping a Jedi would normally take is a massive undertaking and he’s old and tired besides. The whole family history with Vader wouldn’t make it any easier. 

But you know what? Luke is young. He left his found family in the middle of a war and is undergoing hugely stressful training in the middle of a swamp so that he can shoulder even bigger burdens. Yoda has had 20 years of (mostly) downtime to deal with his own trauma and at least several hundred years of practice being a teacher and a leader. He’s the one in a position to improve things and accommodate and he doesn’t. I’m not okay with that. 

Let’s Talk About That Downtime BTW

Again, from a Doylist perspective, I get why Yoda was hanging out on Dagobah, why he used things like visions to communicate with people like Kanan, Ezra, etc. periodically, and why he was Luke’s mentor in ESB/RotJ. 

From a Watsonian view, though, I’m not freaking impressed. He was the Grandmaster. He was heartbroken over the Jedi and Padawans he couldn’t save. But what did he do for the remaining ones spread across the galaxy? Shavit, that’s what. Kanan, Cal Kestis, Feris Olan, all the Jedi/Padawans who got kidnapped and twisted into Inquisitors — they were on their freaking own while Yoda swanned off to Dagobah. 

Oh, sure, he’d pop up in a vision here or there or whatever, but he had a safe place. And, apparently, the ability to reach at least some of them some of the time (see: visions and his connections to people like Bail Organa). Do I think any of those people probably wanted to live on Dagobah? Not particularly. But I think they’d have appreciated the safety and the chance to reconnect with what remained of their Jedi family, even if only briefly. 

But no. Yoda hangs out, waiting for the day the twins are old enough to take on the responsibility to kill Vader/Palpatine and then… does nothing?! He just keeps hanging out even after both Luke and Leia have lost everything, lets them get all settled into the Rebellion without a word, and THEN has the nerve to be cranky and disgruntled when he actually does get one of them to train!! 

YOU MADE CHOICES YOU LITTLE FROG TROLL. DON’T TAKE THEM OUT ON THE PEOPLE YOU DENIED CHOICES FOR 20 YEARS. 

I’m Not Entirely Without Compassion, I Swear

*sigh* I have seen a lot of Yoda meta in recent years that makes me appreciate Yoda for what he was during the PT. He really *was* everybody’s loving Grandpa who worked for centuries to love on the Jedi, protect them, and take care of them well. He legit wanted all of them to be happy and safe… and his suffering when the Purge happened must have been unimaginable. Like Luke and Leia, he lost everything. 

Unlike the twins, he didn’t get to rebuild or find a new family. While I believe what we have in the EU suggests he found peace and solace and a new home of Dagobah that was genuinely soothing to his wounded soul, he was alone and (whether he was or not) he did feel mostly helpless to do anything for his few scattered Jedi grandchildren who remained and suffered across the galaxy. He did face decisions in which there *weren’t* good, clear-cut answers. 

I think if I’d met him first in the PT or meta I might have liked him better. But I still wouldn’t ever recc him as a Master for any character I like because I can’t imagine learning under him being an experience I would ever wish on anyone simply based on my own vehement loathing for his personal teaching style. I know there are people in the world who would thrive on that approach and I like to think I’ve got a good imagination, but I simply can’t conceptualize it as a positive, productive experience. 

*As an end note, if you DO like Yoda or want to like him better please go read @atamascolily‘s fics, seriously. You’ll love them!

[kinetic-elaboration]

July 22: 1x07 What Are Little Girls Made Of?

Today was an inexplicably good day?? Weird. Even before the watching TOS part.

My mom immediately pointed out that Christine had her hair done. Well of course! It’s seeing the fiance day!

I can’t believe she hasn’t seen Roger in 5 years.

Perhaps why she feels comfortable drunk-confessing her love for an alien lol.

Another story of a person exploring an abandoned planet and playing around with the stuff he finds there. I gotta say truly and unironically this never gets old for me.

Also another story of Kirk meeting one of his heroes. The boy likes to read, and then imagine meeting the authors.

I always get so excited just to be watching Star Trek that I miss half the exposition at the beginning of each ep.

Mmmm, underground ruins built by past inhabitants.

HavE YOU evER BeEn enGAGEd mr SPOCK?

He’s married right now.

Love how both Jim and Christine are like “I must know, I must know the answer to this.”

Christine so sure that it’s Roger BUT IT’S NOT ROGER like???? This relationship isn’t gonna work.

The cute Christine and Uhura moment in the background (is it gay?? it isn’t on its face but that lip touching moment sure is!) and Spock in the Captain’s chair.

The long shot looks like a realistic ice planet and the close up looks like boxes covered in soft white blankets.

“Beam down..............hmmmm................two security men.”

Look at all those penises.

Oh Kirk, every time a crewman dies, that’s all he cares or thinks about.

Christine is displeased to meet Android Andrea.

Kirk’s face when Roger and Christine kiss is hilarious to me?? Like he kinda makes a kissing motion? So jealous.

Kirk’s tiny little phaser is so bizarre.

Oh no! They’re....androids!! Dun dun dun.

Spock recognizes that it’s not Kirk’s voice talking to him right away like who is the REAL engaged couple here hmmm??

Smart Kirk move #1: adding “or disobey orders from her” to Ruk’s programming.

The idea of this android just tending machinery for hundreds of years is so sad.

This is my kind of action sequence: very obviously choreographed.

“How can you love him if you don’t trust him?” A very perceptive android.

Love the shocked music at the reveal Andrea is an android as if this weren’t the MOST obvious thing from the start.

She has skin and a pulse? “How convenient.”

When Christine asks “Did you [love the machine]?” she definitely means “Did you have sex with the machine?” Otherwise she would have phrased it as “Do you?” as in a continuous action, versus, a past event.

Wish Spock were here to comment on the perfectly logical machines.

Love the green pre-android lol.

So do the androids have to be fashioned after real people and if so, who is Andrea?

Smart Kirk move #2: Programming obviously false sentiments into his brain at the right moment, so Spock will know there’s something wrong.

“I am now programmed to please you also” sounds so ominous. Ominous and a big ol’ admission she and Roger fucked.

Bringing in Android Kirk to prove his believability to Chapel is honestly, watching it now, such a betrayal. Like, sending in someone she trusts to talk to her, knowing she’ll be honest and open with him, and then telling her it’s just a trick or a test? I was never so bothered by it before but watching it now, wow, Roger is AWFUL.

Stop everything it’s SAM KIRK TIME. I love Sam. Find it weird that no one else calls him Sam if George is Kirk Sr.’s name b/c my experience with kids who share family names is everyone in the family/family’s orbit picks up the nickname/middle name/whatever.

Where did his other two sons go?

Did he ever make it to Earth Colony 2?

Sorry just picturing Sam and his family seeing Kirk off and getting EMO.

Roger describing the usefulness of androids reminds me of, mmm, Dollhouse. Altered Carbon. T100.

Either Korby just generally lost his mind or something was corrupted when he became an android.

Oh Kirk. What does he love in humans? Love, tenderness, sentiment. A ROMANTIC NERD.

Mom contends, and I agree that Ruk is very stylishly dressed. I suppose he must look like the Old Ones? I never thought about it, but based on how the androids are made, they must have been physically indistinguishable from the Old Ones.

Kirk is armed now, with a giant pink phallus.

Spock sees the Captain walk right past him, without saying hi, and he is IMMEDIATELY suspicious. Just walks right away from what he was doing like lol whatever.

Now Spock knows for sure... the real Captain wouldn’t be so cavalier with official papers and he definitely wouldn’t use racial slurs!!

Kirk the honeypot. What I say every time he uses his sexuality for a purpose (not the same as being a womanizer btw!!!).

Oh Andrea DEFINITELY had sex with Roger. “I’m not programmed for you!”

Spock would disagree that saving the Captain is illogical.

“They turned us off!” I know there are other stories that go into this type of narrative more (Blade Runner) but... I still want to know more about these particular androids and aliens.

“Survival must cancel out programming.”

These androids, not counting Ruk, are like honestly not very smart at all. Kirk is very much distinguishable from real Kirk. (Just brushing off a weird attempted kiss with “it is illogical.”) Andrea is very easily confused. Doesn’t know who she’s killing, doesn’t know what she’s about.

Spock got the message!

“Your flawless beings killing one another.”

Korby is honestly a lot more interesting than I remembered. I remembered the part about him being an android, and pretty quickly the part about him actually transferring his consciousness, but... he’s so different from the Korby Kirk read about and Christine knew. Would that have happened anyway, just from his experiences? Or was it becoming an android that did it? I think there’s some evidence for the latter, like how he tries to prove his humanity and can only think of actions a machine would take. Plus all the emphasis all the way through on them being “just machines.” And it must be said, we don’t know how different Ruk is from the Old Ones, intellectually or personality wise, but we know that Kirk is a poor substitute, so it doesn’t seem likely Roger was actually all that good at his experiments yet. Doesn’t seem plausible he transferred himself correctly.

“Everything you’ve done has proved it isn’t you.”

I wonder why Ruk was the only android left? Did the others break down? Are there rusted android carcasses hanging out somewhere? Or like... rotting android bodies?

And THEN the little last minute twist with Andrea--DID she have feelings? Was she becoming human in some way?

Look Christine, your other boyfriend Spock is here!

Spock’s expression at the end totally kills me. “Ugh, fine, I GUESS I understand you were in a really WEIRD situation what with being turned into an ANDROID and all.”

I feel bad for him that he had to hear Kirk say such awful things to him. But that was the point! It had to be something the real Kirk would NEVER say!

This was a really good Kirk ep, and I definitely saw nuances in the android story that I didn’t see before/didn’t remember. Like Mudd’s Women, it put a lot of its most interesting stuff really fast into a few scenes, mostly at the end, but still overall a really solid episode.

And I’m still ASCENDING over the “Have you ever been engaged, Mr. Spock?” I can’t help it, I am a simple being.

[abeautifulblog]

hi! thank you again for writing such a lovely fic. what do you think about amanda and val bonding times (have they texted each other, joking about their dads? is amanda in total awe of her?) and/or robert and amanda in general-- i feel like it'd take robert a lot to get to that point because he's definitely doesn't want to fuck it up and he doesn't know how to act around amanda, but he wants to try? have they hung out since thanksgiving, would they? (i really enjoyed that moment w betsy btw)

Thank you! I really enjoy the drunk-with-Betsy-in-the-woods sequence too, it’s one of my favorite scenes in the whole fic. XD

So this turned out to be interesting, because apparently I hadn't fully worked out in my head the evolving dynamic between Robert and Amanda (and Amanda and Val), and in the rambling act of writing this, Robert's position became a lot more clear to me. This is not as well organized as a lot of my meta, because I was figuring it out as I went along.

First off: Amanda and Val (and Naomi) -- my headcanon is that they got some quality time in on Thanksgiving (I talked about how Thanksgiving went here), and the three of them were getting along so well that when it came time for Val and Naomi to head out (they stayed in a hotel in Maple Bay, because of the weather), Amanda went with them, for a sleepover where they all stayed up late chatting and doing girly stuff, and then went shopping with them the next day.

My original idea had been that Val, with her mature & sophisticated fashion sense (that Amanda obviously admires), would take Amanda shopping and help her start building her grown-up/professional wardrobe -- and then I remembered that the day after Thanksgiving is Black Friday, and hell if any casual clothes shopping happens on Black Friday. Shopping on Black Friday is more like observing the results of a sociology experiment, like pacing yourself through a marathon, you must resign yourself to very slow progress and be prepared to face adversity. So it wasn't actually about the shopping, they went out just for the Black Friday Experience, bought maybe one thing for Amanda, and then got coffee and hung out until it was time for lunch with the dads.

Thanksgiving + Black Friday was when their friendship became an actual friendship, that they got to know each other and really hit it off, not just "this is someone I'm going to be running into sometimes because our dads are dating." Obviously Amanda's got a bit of hero-worship for Val going on, and I think Val and Naomi really get a kick out of having a protege to spoil & mentor. Neither of them ever got to have a younger sister, but Amanda is charming and a treasure and I think they would embrace suddenly having one now. So they start sister-bonding even when it’s still a little premature, since Robert-n-Gene are dating and doing well, but not to the level of WE ARE FAMILY yet.

*

Meanwhile, Robert is... way less comfortable around Amanda than Val is. Val clicks into the "sister" slot for Amanda pretty easily, but Robert doesn't click into the "father" slot -- he knows he's not her dad, not even in the running to become one--

(And indeed, I don't think he ever does. She likes him well enough, and they do grow comfortable with each other eventually, but I don't think he ever steps into a parental role for her -- partly because of his own insecurities, and partly because he just arrived too late on the scene. Gene is her dad, and Robert is her dad's boyfriend, and that's how they stay.)

--so how is he supposed to interact with her? Robert knows how to talk to kids (see: the episode with Ernest), and knows how to talk to fellow adults, but Amanda's at the liminal age between childhood and adulthood, and I think it would be unclear to Robert whether he's supposed to have any sort of authority there, whether he's supposed to be approaching her as a friend, or whether he's supposed to just keep his distance and leave her to Gene.

(The more normy dads like Mat and Hugo (and the rest, I guess, but those are the two that jump out at me) would have a much easier time of it, because (1) they're bringing their own kids, not just themselves, so it's more like a merging of families, putting them on equal footing, rather than being "dad's boyfriend," outnumbered, and (2) they are much more secure in their identity as fathers and would be comfortable stepping into that role for Amanda. They know how to treat their kids with affection and respect, how to be an authority figure while still respecting their kids' autonomy, and it would be easy for them to extend that to Amanda as well. (And I think Amanda would accept them as father figures, if not quite on par with her actual dad.) Robert, on the other hand, never seems to have gotten the hang of dadding, so he doesn't have any of those instincts/habits to fall back on.)

Robert assimilating with Gene and Amanda is also kind of like the problem with mixing friends-groups -- that the way you behave around Person A isn't the way you behave around Person B, so it gets really awkward when you're trying to hang out with both of them at once, because it highlights that gap and makes you feel like you're being insincere, or like you're showing the wrong side to someone. In Robert's case, he's aware that the way he behaves as Gene's boyfriend (taking up 100% of Gene's attention; often overtly sexual; modeling bad behavior, ex: alcohol) is inappropriate around Gene's daughter, but he's not sure what would be appropriate -- what level of PDA is okay, what conversation topics are off-limits, what percentage of Gene's attention he's entitled to. (I expect he errs on the side of fading into the background and letting Amanda have 100% of it, and Gene has to actively work to include him, at least initially.)

And lastly, Robert is very much the outsider coming in to their family, being assimilated into their household and their life; he's the one encroaching on other people's territory, out of his comfort zone and having to do way more adjusting and adapting than Gene and Amanda are. How much space is he allowed/supposed to take up in their home? He spends a lot of time there, but it's not really HIS home -- is it? When does it become his home?

(When he officially moves in, I suppose, which is going to take a while. From Thanksgiving onward he (and Betsy) are virtually living with Gene, he's got clothes in Gene's closet and kibbles in Gene's pantry, but he still keeps his own house and retreats to it sometimes when Gene's busy, or when Robert hits a bad patch and wants to be alone. And Robert's mostly past waiting for the other shoe to drop, he trusts that their relationship is solid, but moving in FOR REALZ, FOR PERMANENT is a big deal, and it takes about a year before he's willing to take that plunge. Not just "Oh hey, we're actually doing this, we're saying that this is going to be our lives FOR EVER AND EVER now," but also cutting off any escape route behind him.)

Gene's on more familiar ground, not only because it's his house and his daughter, but also because he had Alex, he's accustomed to dividing his attention between Amanda and a spouse, of balancing both the role of a father and the role of a lover.

(In fact, that's kind of what he's talking about in the conversation with Craig when he says that he has things he needs to figure out too, before he pursues a relationship with Robert. I have trouble articulating this, but: Gene wants to make sure that he's not thoughtlessly falling back into the same relationship behavior/patterns he's used to. He wants to make sure that he's responding to Robert as Robert, not just picking up the entire template from his previous relationship and dropping it on top of Robert. By "template," I mean everything -- for example, knowing how your partner likes to give and receive attention/affection, how to communicate with them, what roles and responsibilities they want to fill in the relationship, knowing what causes them stress and when to step up your support -- in short, how to treat your partner.

Obviously the template for Gene's relationship with Alex was a very good one, loving and healthy, but it was specifically FOR ALEX, it had evolved over the years to fit ALEX perfectly, it's not necessarily going to be what Robert wants or needs. A new relationship needs a new template -- it needs Gene to pay attention to Robert as an individual and see how he wants to do this thing. And Gene's got a solid model to work from, it just needs tweaking. Robert, for his part, is on such unfamiliar ground in this relationship that he's in no danger of treating Gene like one of his hookups -- until it comes to sex, where he's having a hell of time keeping himself from going onto autopilot.)

Anyway, both Robert and Amanda are trying to get along (because both of them want to make Gene happy), and I kind of regret that I couldn't work in a snapshot of Life At The Woods Household after Thanksgiving, because that's when that process started. She and Robert spent slightly less than a week living under the same roof before she went back to Chicago, and there was a degree of... acclimating on both their parts. (The first time they had interactions that took place in pajamas.) Suddenly Robert's AROUND, in her HOUSE, she'll walk into a room and he's just THERE, sans Gene sometimes, and the polite thing to do is acknowledge each other and exchange some words -- interactions that gradually become less stilted as they get more practice and it becomes less unfamiliar.

It’s going to be a bit jarring for Amanda to be confronted with the visuals of Robert stepping into what is coded in her head as Alex's space -- that is, to turn the corner and find him kissing her Pops. (And it's going to be a while before the knee-jerk, "That's where DAD is supposed to be" reaction fades, despite the fact that she's absolutely rooting for Robert and Gene to be together and happy.)

I suppose what Robert settles into eventually is more like the renegade uncle role -- that he's not exactly an authority figure, but he is someone who's older and been around the block a few times, and can weigh in with genuinely good advice from his own lived experience. (Even if that advice is "don't make this mistake that I did. srsly, it sucks.") Moreover, his life history is very different from Gene's, a lot of it spent fucking up and hanging out in low places, and so there's a lot of perspective he can offer that Gene simply can't. If Amanda finds herself embroiled in something Bad, where she feels like she made a shameful-bad mistake, I can see her actually being more comfortable telling Robert about it than Gene -- that she feels like Robert's more likely to understand (unlike her shining wholesome pops who would NEVER have made such a mistake), that she can get grown-up help without having to disappoint her dad.

(I believe I once saw a Robert/dadsona fic summary where Amanda -- underage drunk at a party and suddenly wanting/needing to get out of there -- calls Robert for a rescue instead of her dad, and I was like, Yes, that is the relationship I see developing between them, that is Robert's niche in their family dynamic.)

Anyway, the last chapter has a pretty long Amanda-POV section of the first Christmas they all spend together, that shows how she and Robert are settling into their places in the new-and-improved Smallwood family. I enjoy it a lot. 👍

[1000-directions]

@queerlyalex tagged me in this approximately 4 million years ago. i think someone else tagged me too with different questions, and i will try to find that and answer it within the next 4 million years.

The rules are: ✰ post the rules ✰ answer the questions given to you by the tagger ✰ write eleven questions of your own ✰ tag eleven people (sorry, no, this already took forever)

1. If you had unlimited resources for one thing, such as going to school or travelling or to meet someone or to do a good work such as solving the water crisis in Flint, what would you use your unlimited resources for?

i mean...now that you’ve mentioned flint, i feel like i can’t say something selfish like “finance the recording and production of my ep” or “laser hair removal” or “spend a month exploring the galapagos” without sounding like an asshole lol. it would be nice to do something like...end all hunger and war everywhere, but i don’t know if that’s something that’s a matter of resources as much as entrenched inequality and hatred, and that might be beyond the scope of this hypothetical exercise. so i’m gonna go with overthrow the united states government. not just impeaching, convicting, and imprisoning trump, but getting rid of everyone, abolishing the electoral college and two-party politics, maybe a parliament or something. and while we’re at it, i’m gonna throw all the guns into the sun and redistribute all of the wealth so that no one is a billionaire and everyone has enough to get by. by throwing all the guns into the sun, i’m undecided if i mean that hyperbolically or if i mean lets re-fund NASA and get people excited about space exploration again and build enough rockets and train enough astronauts to literally throw the guns into the literal sun.

2. Say you’re an amazing photographer and you got picked up by National Geographic (before Rupert Murdoch of course, ick), they are willing to let you go anywhere in the world to photograph any subject, where are you going and what are you taking photos of?

ummmm we’re either going “louis tomlinson: a life in food” where i follow him on tour and take pictures of his starbucks order and what he likes to eat for breakfast in different countries or “wildlife of oceania” where i travel around australia and new zealand taking pictures of cool ass kangaroos and birds and coral reefs.

3. Do you listen to music when you go to sleep?

NO. silence or rain are the only sounds i can tolerate when i’m sleeping.

4. Have you ever had a “food phase” where you absolutely cannot stop eating this one thing, or a few things in combination? Do you still get cravings for whatever it was?

i mean, my entire life is a food phase where i absolutely cannot stop eating E V E R Y T H I N G. when i was in high school, i would make muddy buddies or puppy chow or whatever you call it -- the chex with the chocolate and peanut butter and powdered sugar -- every thursday and then watch ER. a friend of mine used to do that, so i tried it once and it was just a very satisfying combination of like ritually making something and then watching something i really enjoyed. it always tastes better in my imagination than it actually tastes on my tongue.

5. Can you tell me about the best pet you’ve ever owned? Or someone else owned and you still connected with? If you’ve never experience this comradery with an animal a) I’m sorry and b) tell me about a stuffed animal or a beloved trinket.

my father is really allergic to dogs and cats (and deathly allergic to birds) but when i was a kid, we had at various times 3 dogs and 1 cat, all of which we had to give up after a few days or months because he couldn’t breathe. i don’t know WHY my parents kept bringing animals into the home of young children who quickly got attached to these animals only to have them repeatedly given away. when i was 19-ish, then got a bichon frise, this lil dude:

(enjoy the only picture i will ever post of myself on tumblr btw)

we spent a lot of time together when i lived at home. my parents traveled a lot, and they were gone basically every weekend, and it was just me and him. when i moved out, he used to go outside my door and scratch and whine every night because he didn’t understand why we weren’t hanging out. he was a big reason i waited so long to move out of my parents’ house, because the thought of not seeing him every day was so so upsetting to me. over the last few years, he has really deteriorated, and now he’s an anxious old man puppy who won’t let anyone touch him (same tbh)

6. Do you like hummus? If you haven’t ever tried it, Google it and tell me if you would be willing to try it.

hecK YEAH i like hummus. plain hummus, garlic hummus, lemon hummus, pine nut hummus, black bean hummus, red pepper hummus, GIMME IT ALL TBH. best with lil pieces of pita obviously but i usually eat it with carrots and try to pretend i’m being healthy.

7. What’s the most you’ve ever spent on fan merch, whether it’s an object or an album preorder, etc.

oh.......shit. as a disclaimer, this was a long time ago when i was living at home and working full time and i had decent savings and wasn’t super concerned about the future. i spent $2000 on a pair of tickets to see a band on new years eve at some casino in oklahoma. i live on the east coast. so i also had to pay for a flight to dallas, a rental car, and a hotel. i had an amazing time, it was one of the best shows i’ve ever been to, and my friend and i still talk about it all the time all these years later. however...especially these last few months when i’ve had no solid idea how i was going to pay my rent or bills or anything, i’ve really thought about how much it would help to have that money back. but that being said, i was such a reckless idiot back then that i probably would have just spent it on something else stupid anyway.

8. I have a really weird #adulting life goal where I want to end up with a house that has a formal dining room. Do you have an #adulting life goal?

hmm. i don’t like to fantasize or speculate about the future much, because i am like...so far away from where i would ideally like to be in any aspect of my life, period. i don’t think it serves me well to look more than one or two steps ahead of where i am at any given point. there have been many times in my life where i’ve looked at where i am and thought, wow, i never could have even IMAGINED i’d have accomplished this even two years ago!! so i just try to tell myself that there is good stuff up ahead that i don’t even know i’m capable of achieving, and i try not to worry about specifics. 

9. Do you have pajamas, like PJs you bought from the PJ section at the store and wear as PJs to bed, or do you wear whatever such as sweats and a tshirt from your closet like I’m wearing right now?

i have a bunch of cute satiny nightgowns like little slips that i used to wear in the summer, and then t-shirts and pajama pants in winter. these days, i literally just wear a tank top and underwear, and if i ever get cold (lol unlikely) i just pile on another blanket.

10. What are some of your goals in 2018? Either goals for yourself or what your doing or your fandom experience, etc. Can you tell me about them?

i start the new job in a week, and i just wanna work hard and do well and hopefully make some friends with my coworkers. most of my friends are moving away in a few months, and there are two in particular i really want to make an effort to stay in contact with. i would like to lose enough weight so i don’t completely hate myself by the time i meet everyone at red rocks. if i lose 35 pounds, i’ll be back where i was when school started. and i want to grow my nails out.

11. What is a happy memory you feel like sharing?

when i was eighteen and failing out of college for the first time, i went to a thai restaurant for lunch (by myself, i had no friends and was hundreds of miles from home and knew no one, i went days at a time without talking to another person), and when the waiter brought the bill, there was a note inside that said “excuse me but you have a nice smile.” and that was it, no phone number or anything, just a nice compliment from a stranger at a time when i was completely falling apart.

[gryffvndors]

blurred edges [draco malfoy]

request: “could you maybe do prompt 295 with jealous angsty draco x reader. I adore your writing style btw x” -anon

“Please could do one where Malfoy and the reader get really close but then she sees him lock lips with Parkinson at a party... etcetc.” -anon

word count: ~1700 (i’ve given up on my limit)

a/n: mashed two more together bc they fit pretty well together! i hope this is what yall r looking for? i had fun writing this! i’ve been super sick all day and have been reading scorbus fanfics which is always fun. thanks for requesting and reading as always!

295: “wait a minute. are you jealous?”

It’s not a defined thing, you and Draco Malfoy. It’s more of a loose thing, an unshapely thing, with the edges blurred, corners rounded, creases smoothed out. There isn’t anything solid about it; the only thing that keeps this… whatever it is, thriving, is your combined fear of being alone.

It’s the harsh truth, but regardless, it’s the truth. If you weren’t so stubborn and needy, this wouldn’t even be a thing at all. On the other hand, Draco, a boy who’s never had to work for anything in his life, finds your relationship easy and manageable. You know because he’s told you before, the two of you laying in bed, him tracing lazy circles on your bare thigh. You’d twisted your body to make eye contact. He looked into your eyes with his steel gaze and, in answer to an unuttered question that hung in the air, said it so bluntly, you sat there for a second, feeling like he slapped you in the face.

(You left, then, angry tears crawling down your cheeks. You left, but obviously came back; why wouldn’t you? All you wanted, really, was attention. He gave you attention.)

You’ve learned to build your walls high and strong, impenetrable. He apologized for being so blunt. You forgave him, and then proceeded to have sex with him again. Yes, you’re definitely a good example on how to stray away from toxic relationships. Time and time again, you’ve told yourself to leave. You can handle being alone - but right after one of you ends it, the same person comes running back, lungs empty and chest twisting inside of your body. You don’t do “feelings”. Draco doesn’t, either. After the initial mishap, the two of you agreed that this simply be a “no strings attached” relationship. It was quite easy, until, of course, the other snuck up on one of you and tied a knot so small, so insignificant, it only became tighter and tighter until it was nearly impossible to undo. Then they got out the scissors and snipped it away, leaving the other broken with frayed edges and a permanent knot in their bones.

You deserve each other, really.

The press of Draco’s mouth against yours is as familiar and unsettling as ever; his hair, always soft, shines magnificently in between your fingers. His own digits play at the hem of your shirt. Your body shakes as he lets out a low, guttural sound. All that runs through your mind while his (cold) hands slide up the soft skin of your stomach is a warning bell, an alarm, that if you don’t stop now, you’ll be late for the post-Quidditch match party going on in the Slytherin common room. You’re near the entrance, anyway, tucked away in a dusty alcove in one of the main hallway branches. Draco’s lips suck where the underside of your jaw meets your neck. You swallow, pushing him away.

“We have to get to the common room,” you say, chewing on your lower lip. “They’ll want you to be there.”

Draco’s mouth twists into a frown. “I don’t feel like partying right now.”

“That doesn’t matter. They’ll still expect you to be there, you won us the Quidditch Cup.” When he doesn’t answer, you add, “There will be alcohol.”

“I… like alcohol,” he says softly. He goes down to kiss your neck again. You dodge it, sidestepping away. “Stop being like this.”

“We have to go, Draco.”

Draco huffs: “Fine. We’ll go to the stupid party.”

“Don’t throw a tantrum.”

“I’m not,” he sighs, running his hands through his hair. “I just… want to snog you.”

“I’m flattered,” you deadpan, “but I really feel like getting wasted right now. How about we snog after, say, five shots of firewhiskey? Ten? Twelve, maybe?”

As Draco leads you to the common room entrance, he rolls his eyes. “You’re looking for a hangover.”

“What can I say? I’m a masochist.”

The party is going full-swing. There’s a drinking game going on with a bunch of the older students; the younger ones have butterbeers, and it amuses you to see a couple third years stare longingly at the bottles of firewhiskey. As soon as you and Draco enter the room, there’s a few wolf whistles and a whole round of cheering. You leave Draco’s side and go straight for the alcohol. You bypass glasses entirely, picking up a bottle and taking a swig from it.

“Rough day?” Your friend sidles up beside you, smirking. Her cheeks are pink from the whiskey, you’d bet, personality loose and open.

You scoff, “You have no clue.” You take another swig.

It isn’t long before you open up yourself; you’ve always liked the burning in your stomach from intoxication, the stumbly and free feeling it gives you. You can’t find it in yourself to care when you lose a drinking game and have to chug straight from the bottle. You catch Draco watching you out of the corner of your eye, a smirk on his lips, face flushed, shaking his head. You nearly choke and have to double over, swallowing what’s in your mouth. The burning down your throat increases.

You’ve gotten to that point where you don’t really care about anything anymore. Around the common room, you chat with everyone, all smiles and charm and slurred words. When you turn the corner to grab something from your room, you see, down the hallway to the girls’ dormitory, Draco with Pansy Parkinson, his tongue in her mouth and hands up her skirt.

You falter, chest wrenching. The sight seems to down your spirits immediately. You turn on your heels and go back where you came from, knuckles nearly white from clenching the sleeves of your robes so hard.

You don’t know why you’re so broken up over this. You aren’t even together. This is no strings attached. You don’t do feelings - feelings are a nuisance. He isn’t yours, anyway. He never was yours to begin with. Just because you like to have a good shag every once in awhile, or snog at least three times a day, doesn’t mean you have all rights to him. He can kiss whoever he wants. And if he chooses Pansy, then so be it. What can you do about it? You, the girl that does not have feelings for him. You, the girl who cannot have feelings for him. You can’t do anything but watch and keep your mouth shut.

But, hey, if he can snog other people, so can you.

You grab your friend by the back of her robes and drag her over to the alcohol. “I saw Draco snogging Pansy Parkinson in the corner.”

Her face falls. “I’m so sorry-”

You hold up a hand. “Save it. I don’t care. But we’re going to take a shot together, and then I’m going to go snog Theodore Nott. Because I can.”

As you pour the shots, your friend muses, “Are you sure it’s not just because he’s Draco’s good friend?”

You hand her a glass and clink yours against it. “Nope,” you say, then down it. She laughs after you as you approach Nott, tugging on his sleeve. “Wanna make out with me?”

Nott glances around, then shrugs. You pull him over to a corner in the common room.

He isn’t that great of a kisser. It… doesn’t feel right, if you’re being quite honest. He’s too sloppy - though that may be due to his blatant intoxication - and a hell of a lot worse than Draco. You don’t really care, though; maybe Draco’s the bad one and you’re just used to it.

(Almost immediately after that thought, you know you’re wrong. Draco’s an amazing kisser.)

A few minutes into it, you’re torn apart. Nott is surprised; you are, too. You whip around. Behind you stands Draco, face set in a scowl. He mutters your name, then Nott’s. “Theo, step the fuck away.”

Needless to say, Nott scurries off, murmuring apologies under his breath. Draco hisses, “Can I talk to you?”

You shrug, toying with the hem of your robes. “Go ahead.” Draco grabs your wrist and pulls you into the dimly lit hallway to the dormitories, where he was sticking his tongue down Pansy Parkinson’s throat not five minutes ago.

“Why were you snogging Nott?”

You smirk. “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

Draco’s cheeks turn even darker. “Jealous? No. Just wondering why you chose Nott, of all people.”

You blink, feigning innocence. “Why did you choose Pansy Parkinson, of all people?”

Draco pauses. “You… saw that?”

“Yeah. I did,” you scowl, shoving your hands in your pockets. “Why are you getting onto me for snogging Nott when you were snogging Parkinson at the same time? That doesn’t seem very fair. And why are you even jealous in the first place? I thought this was no strings attached, no feelings-”

“Well, maybe I fucking developed feelings!”

Neither one of you speak. The sentence hangs in the air like a threat. You rock back and forth on your heels, unsure of what to say. When you finally find your voice, all you can say is, “O-oh.”

Draco looks at the ground. “Fuck. If you don’t feel the same way, I understand. But if you don’t, I… want things to stop between us. I can’t go around shoving my feelings aside, pretending like they don’t exist.” There’s a hesitation. You realize he’s waiting for you to speak.

“Oh,” you repeat. “I-”

Draco sighs, running a hand through his hair. “You know what? Nevermind. I-”

“Draco, stop-” You grab his arm and pull him back as he turns away to leave. You look into his (quite frankly, brilliant) grey eyes and clear your throat. “I… only snogged Nott because I saw you snogging Parkinson. I was… jealous,” you admit. “I do. Fancy you. I have major feelings for you, I just… never voiced them because I didn’t want the same thing to happen as it did before.”

He knows what you’re referencing to. You can tell; his frown deepens, and before you know it, he’s kissing you gently. You kiss back, still unaware of where you two lie. When he breaks away, you ask the question you’re both thinking.

“So… where do we stand?”

Draco swallows. “Where do you want to stand?”

“I’d… like to be your girlfriend, if that’s okay with you.”

He leans down to kiss you again. Against your lips, he mumbles, “That’s definitely alright with me.”

[tweakerwolf]

Cain Endings 2 + 13

Surprisingly, it took me forever to find 13 because... I just never found the right path to unlock it? XD Plus I thought the balcony scene didn’t have anything new for me, but I was wrong hahaha. I put the two together since, it will cut down on the number of posts I have to write lmao.

Also, since Cain’s House opening is so long without any choices, depending on the length of the guide, it’ll either just be copy/pasted or I’ll have a much more condensed version. It shouldn’t affect anyone that only reads a few of these, but some people that like to read them, or need help with multiple endings... you are going to see the same text chunks over and over in some of these! Just a warning :) Like I’ve said though, the important bits are bolded so you can always skip the block of text at the beginning of Cain’s House since, it’ll be the same every time. A lot of the Cafe openers will be similar too, but be sure to check the bolded answers!

Cafe:

You decide that a café sounds like a great place to hang out, and not just any café but one that’s super fancy! Romantic lighting, matching colors everywhere! And some guy playing the piano, fancy! The pretty boy playing the piano notices that you seem to be enjoying the song so he tells you what he’s playing, even invites you to sit with him. You stare awkwardly and it makes him wonder if there’s something on his face lol but no, his face is like perfect. Eventually he stops playing and asks what he can do for you. Tell him “Oh,right. I guess a coffee sounds good right about now” (he frowns and looks away!). Of course that’s why you came to a café… for coffee, not his pretty face… So the nameless angel-faced man gets up to grab some coffee and I guess you’re worried someone is going to steal the piano? XD such innocence. He orders something for you and leads you to a table before asking your name and finally giving you his. He got you some fancy coffee with ice cream! Looks delicious, -take the spoon- and dig in! (again, a frown and eye roll??? Gasp, you aren’t allowed to like what he ordered?). He says he’s glad you like it (then why the frown earlier?!) but notices the time and claims he has to leave. As he starts to leave, show him how desperate you are, yelling out “Wait!” (unimpressed frown and side glance again, we’re three for three here). You lose your nerve and just mumble out a good night to him and he leaves- but not before telling you that you shouldn’t ever be indecisive… hmm, foreshadowing much? After he leaves you notice a black feather on the table; when you touch it, you feel ill (screen starts to pulse lightly). For some reason, you decide to rush all the way home instead of into the bathroom at the café…  The ill feeling only worsens as you head home (screen still pulsing until scene change). Thankfully you make it home without incident but you’re overwhelmed by the feeling of just.. wrongness from earlier so you collapse on your bed and pass out.

Cain’s House:

You eventually wake up because the sun is warming your face and you realize that it can’t be coming from your bedroom window. You open your eyes and yea... this isn’t your bedroom at all! There’s a note on the bedside table that says ‘Meet me in the living room’ but it isn’t signed... You don’t really have much choice so you get out of the bed and notice that you’re down to your underwear!! O.O who undressed you?? How creepy is that... Anyways, you find your way to the living room, which is super fancy btw, and see Cain! He asks how you slept but considering he’s kidnapped you, why does he care? You don’t answer. You ask how you got to his house, both angry and afraid. He starts to laugh at you and then his body starts to change (static-y screen effects as Cain changes). is pretty boy features are gone, now he has black/red hair and yellow eyes. Cain answers you truthfully, saying that he brought you here. And you decide it’s time for you to leave; you start to back away, getting ready to run. As soon as you turn around, you run into an invisible barrier and hit the floor. Cain tsks and some invisible force grips your throat, choking you as you lie on the floor. He tells you that you can’t escape and you’re his new plaything, better accept it. Then he comes over and picks you up off the floor, wings suddenly spreading out from his back! Cain gives more detail on what exactly might be happening to you while you’re at his house: flaying of the skin, breaking bones, something about organs, and possibly blood drinking. Pretty much whatever the fuck he wants. Sounds like a great time. He’ll also kill you, after you beg for it and he’s tired of you, so there’s that to look forward to! The invisible force is back as Cain forces you to sink to your knees; you struggle but it’s too strong. Cain comments that he can’t wait to see how long you’ll last.

Ask Cain, “Why are you doing this?” and he answers that it’s because he can, really, what other reason does he need?He’s powerful and can take whatever he wants; you’ve yet to see the limits of his powers. With a warning to keep him interested in you, he leaves you be and sits down. -Look around- because after that speech, you really don’t want his attention. For being non-human, the house seems pretty normal. Cain just sips his coffee and looks out the window, phew, he doesn’t want to torture you right this moment! -Keep looking around- but this time Cain asks what you’re looking for. You’re just looking, gosh... it’s a new place for you. He invites you to come and talk with him, pointing to a chair. You aren’t comfortable saying no so you sit, curious as to what you’ll even talk about. Cain reveals that he’s an angel, so he invites you to tell him your sinful thoughts, he can help with those. -Don’t tell him anything- because you don’t trust him. Cain uses his angel force powers to pull you over to him, not liking that you’re quiet. He’s going to punish you anyways, you’re acting like a child so, time to get punished. -Refuse- to ask daddy for forgiveness. Cain sighs and bends you over his knees, he’ll see about that. Off go the underwear and he smacks your booty, HARD. You scream from the force he put behind it but don’t say anything else. Cain realizes that it wasn’t enough so he literally heats his hand (it starts to glow like a hot iron) and spanks you again. Your booty skin sizzles O.O so needless to say, you’re in a lot of pain. You’re begging now, asking him to stop. When he pulls his hand off your behind, your skin goes with it.... He licks the blood from his fingers and warns you to do as you’re told in the future. Then he sticks his fingers in your mouth (no longer hot at least) and you taste burnt flesh... -gag-. He drops you on the couch and walks away. You shut down after that, eventually wandering back to the bedroom to sleep.

When you wake up again, it’s evening, and you’re ready to explore the house some more. Head for the -balcony-, noticing a silhouette outside- it’s gotta be Cain but we aren’t avoiding him for some reason. He doesn’t really react to you joining him outside, he’s looking out over the landscape. Eventually he calls you over closer, not sounding more thoughtful than you’ve previously heard him. So you go, (don’t want another spanking!) and notice that the sky looks different from what you’re used to. Ask him, “What are you looking at?”to which he replies ‘the sunset’. He says that the sunsets are always beautiful in Tartarus- wait what...where are we? Nevermind, you just enjoy the sunset with him, it is pretty. You even lean into him a little bit. Cain shift and presses you against the edge of the railing. He starts to nuzzle you, saying that you smell nice, his hands roaming your body. Without warning he grabs your neck and lifts you up; he rips off your underwear and dangles you over the edge, wanting to have some fun! How strong is your will to live? He tells you to beg as he touches himself, and you know there is nowhere for you to go but down...

Ending 2:

-Struggle- (timed answer). You aren’t about to let him just drop you, fuck that! You grab onto him and try to pull yourself back onto solid ground. So obviously that means you aren’t about to beg, you give him a clear answer: Fuck. You. Cain is immediately displeased (he was at least slightly amused before you said that)... he says that suddenly, you’re a lot heavier and he can’t keep a hold of you. He loosens his grip and calls out good bye before letting go completely. You damn him as you plummet to the ground but you accept that there are worse ways to go. Died- You struggled.

OR

Ending 13:

-Beg- (timed answer). Even though Cain literally told you to beg, he doesn’t like that you actually tried. You must not have any spine, no PRIDE! Honestly though like... you don’t want to die and he told you to beg! Cain doesn’t care though, he calls you pathetic (he apparently had high hopes for you)... maybe he’ll test to see if you actually have a spine... if he can find it on the ground after he drops you! He lets go of you and you try to keep a grip on his arm but you fail. Cain grins as you fall, screaming towards the ground. You hit the ground and there is pain before everything goes dark Died- Cain dropped you.