#oh btw bobs pov is not my own

[bbyboybucket]

That New Avengers thingy is such a nonsensical mess and a slap to the face. Waiting years for Sam to finally lead a new Avengers team for Marvel to pull this trick . Then, there's Yelena wondering why Sam doesn't get it since the government called them them Avengers. The same govt who outlawed Sam and his teammates including her sister Natasha. The same govt who went behind his back and gave the shield to Walker instead of letting it stand in a museum. I just...

YES! I AM SO GLAD YOU BROUGHT UP YELENA AND NAT BC I DIDNT EVEN THINK AB THAT UNTIL NOW!! But you are so damn right. Yelena knows what the gov did to her sister and her sisters’ friends. And not only that, but Yelena has her own beef with the gov. Val quite literally tried to have her killed, did unethical experiments on her now friend (aka she knows what Val did to Bob). And at the end of the movie, Yelena even says to Val “we own you now” and basically threatens her to not go against them in any way or they’ll turn her in. So not only does Yelena have hella beef with the government, but so did her sister, and yet in the credits scene they have her be like “oh why can’t Sam just accept the gov says we’re the avengers”. Like hello??? Girl you don’t like the gov either, you don’t like the shit they’ve done, how they’ve fucked over you and your family/friends, but now you’re wondering why Sam would be mad and question the government’s decision?? That’s very inconsistent writing bc how’s she gonna be like that in the credits scene when in the same damn movie she was having her own problems with the gov? Like literally so inconsistent there. And btw, this is not at all a knock on Yelena as a character (love her, she’s my boo). I’m dissing the writing here bc that’s weird asf?? Again, unnecessary and now even more confusing because it’s so contrary to the rest of the movie for to not understand his pov?

This whole thing is just very odd to me. And there’s so many other things they coulda wrote here, I have no idea why tf they’d choose this.

[mxbo]

Hi! If it’s no trouble for you, could I request a little story about Sniper and a daughter reader? Just some wholesome family fluff ^^

Thanks so much in advance! No worries though if you’re swamped!

HELLO!! “No worries though if you're swamped” JHSHG THIS IS MY FIRST REQUEST EVER, I'M SO EXCITED. And also nervous because I don't want to mess up (that's why I took 5 days to write this) (I wrote it, left it be for a couple of days, read it again, went like “wow this is garbage”, fixed it and THEN posted it).

The request was left a bit ambiguous, so I have a BUNCH of notes and then the little story (which is, btw, not the full length of what I wrote because I accidentally gave Sniper anxiety, so I cut that from the actual story because I feared it wasn't wholesome ahsjah) (if you see “…” in the middle of two paragraphs, yeah that was something that I cut out AHSHh). I REALLY DON'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT, I'M NOT CONFIDENT AT ALL WITH MY WRITING AND DIDN'T THINK I WOULD EVEN GET A WRITING REQUEST, I'M SORRY IF YOU DISLIKE EVEN ONE WORD *explodes*

[First picture: Carl from San Andreas with his hands on his head, except it's me saying “I forgot, I forgot how to write oh no”] [Second picture: Sponge Bob crying, except it's me saying “I promise I'll do better”]

SOME NOTES

English is not my first language, sorry if some things don't make sense TT (let me know if you see any mistakes pls!!)

My requests were mainly open for stamps, userboxes, blinkies and stuff like that, but I did say I'd share my writing if someone asked in my pinned post, so I only have myself to blame heh. And this was actually fun and I enjoyed it, so now I want to do more writing requests. Aka, they're open fr this time HEHE

You're Sniper's daughter, but the story is almost mainly told from the perspective of Sniper (still written in third person for him and second person for the reader, tho, it's just that the story follows Sniper's actions more because idk how to write from the POV of a kid)

I have family issues so if family interactions are portrayed inaccurately that's why, haha /hj

I wanted to write about how Sniper's daughter got to the base and THEN her interactions with the rest of the team, but I've been working on it for 5 days already. This is only the first half, how the reader got to the base TT [I'll continue it if you wish] AND AAAAH THE SECOND HALF IS WHERE I HAD PLANNED MOST OF THE FLUFF AND MOMENTS CATCHING UP WITH SNIPER AAAA (I'm so angry at myself)

CW: Not much, mentions of death because it's TF2 (nobody dies), and the word “fuck” is said like once, but that's it, can't think of anything major

More notes in the end because it's mostly not mentioned/doesn't matter/was cut from the final version

MEET THE SUNSHINE

“Yeah, Mum, I get it. I'll visit when I can,” he muttered.

“Your daughter misses you, you know,” his mum said.

Sniper sighed. “I know, Mum. But I take my job really seriously, and the battle hasn’t ended yet—”

“That battle has been going on for more than three years now!! And we decided you can’t just come home on holidays and expect us to raise your child the rest of the year.”

“We sent her to you” his dad interrupted, “She should be arriving any minute now.”

Sniper's eyes widened, and he nearly dropped the phone. “YOU DID WHAT!? THIS IS A BATTLEFIELD!!” He tried to argue. 

They were his parents and he respected them a lot, always trying to get their approval, but were they actually crazy? What did they even consume to think that sending his own daughter, their own granddaughter, to New Mexico, alone, while there’s a fight currently happening there, is a good idea!?

“Oh, don’t worry about that, after speaking to your boss through a nice lady called… Miss Paula? Pauline? She assured us she’ll be safe.” No way Miss Pauling, one of the few people he —and everyone in the team, really— trusted. No fucking way.

Before he could process this bombshell, a commotion erupted outside his room. The “INTRUDER ALERT. BLU SPY IS IN THE BASE” alarm was set off, and it was followed by Soldier shouting “A BLU SPY IS IN THE BASE!?”.

He hung up, not even saying goodbye, because he had the feeling that wasn’t a BLU spy. Actually, he knew it wasn’t a BLU spy, chained to a respawn machine. He had to get to the entrance first and stop the other eight mercenaries from killing you.

…

“WAIT!” He shouted as he pushed Soldier to the side.

He wasn’t the only one in the room; Scout, Spy and Medic, who were faster than Sniper, were also there, also trying to explain to Soldier that this was a child, not a BLU spy.

“Sniper?” asked Spy, a bit curious about why he seemed so scared.

“That’s not a spy…” He said, trying to catch his breath.

“Yes, we figured,” Spy said before getting interrupted.

You slowly opened your eyes and removed your hands from your ears, seeing as the scary man with the big weapon directly pointing at you before didn’t fire and you didn’t explode.

“That’s my-”

You looked around and that’s when you see him! You didn’t get the directions the nice purple lady gave you wrong!!

“DAD!!” You scream as you run over to your dad and hug his legs.

As you squeeze his legs, finally seeing your dad after so long and feeling safe, he doesn’t know how to react.

“-daughter,” he finished his sentence. He’s so relieved you’re ok. He doesn’t know what he would have done if he had found you hurt or worse.

“No frickin’ way…” muttered the Scout.

Soldier, Spy, Medic and also Engie and Pyro, who entered the room after the Sniper, were just as confused as Scout. Well, maybe not Pyro, because it understood something completely different (one shudders to imagine what inhuman thoughts lie behind that mask). But the rest of them were, and, with their eyes, they asked for an explanation. Demanded, even, in Scout’s case, because he couldn’t fathom the idea of Sniper of all people to get a girl, potentially a wife, before him.

…

Scout sighed in relief hearing that Sniper did not, in fact, get a girl before him. That he had found you as a baby one day when returning home and adopted you.

Everyone else just nodded in understanding (Heavy, Pyro), asked him questions (Engie, Medic, Spy) or praised him for doing the correct thing and not leave you to starve (Spy, Soldier, Demo). All while you were drawing in a corner with a pen and paper your dad gave you.

You stopped drawing once your dad had finished talking and introducing you to his team. Maybe he would introduce them to you next! 

This was going to be your home for a while, after all.

NOTES P.2

Timeline:

Three years into the gravel war (for the main group of mercenaries’ pov).

You were adopted roughly a year before Sniper was hired. Your adopted family doesn’t know your birthday, but they estimate you’re 4-5 y/o.

Fun fact: I was considering at first (aka the first five seconds of thinking about the request) making the daughter a teenager and then remembered Sniper is 27-ish here so uuuh, nope.

About Sniper in this AU:

He’s a good dad… the three or four times a year he can visit you.

He doesn’t want to be an absent dad, but he’s too dedicated to his job as an assassin for RED.

He tries to convince himself he’s not that absent because he cares about you, talks to you at lest once a week through the phone and makes sure your grandparents treat you correctly.

He wouldn’t have accepted RED’s offer if he had known this job would drag out for so long. He can’t quit now.

About his daughter (you!):

She/her as was requested :D

Not much else to say, you're 4-5 years old so you behave as one.

[Backstory, this is explained in detail during the actual story so spoilers hehe] You were found in a dumpster (sorry lmao) This was not, in fact, mentioned in the story above, so I'll just paste it here:

“

As he ran downstairs, his mind was flooded with images of how you came into his life, how he tried to raise you but had to go to this stupid war over a worthless piece of land. He thought it was ok, though, because once it was over he’d make up for the time he was away. 

But he wouldn’t be able to do that if you died to one of his own teammates right now.

…

Mick was driving home after a long day under the hot Australian sun, a bit tired from hunting animals down all day but with a smile.

He did a small deviation to pass by a nearby gas station because the fuel gauge hovered dangerously close to empty. 

Once the tank was full, he glanced at the convenience store and couldn’t resist grabbing something to eat for the rest of the long ride. He doesn’t remember what he bought, and it honestly doesn’t even matter. 

As he was leaving the store, he heard a sound, apart from the flickering neon lights, and he stood there for a second trying to identify. Someone crying, high-pitched voice, coming from the side of the building. “From the side of the building? Next to the dumpster?” He thought. 

And he was disgusted that he was right, that someone just got rid of a baby like that, but also glad he found you.

He didn’t know what to do, so he brought you home and asked his parents for help. They all came to the conclusion that they must have abandoned you after noticing that you didn’t grow a moustache like the rest. Mick saw himself on you because he also wasn’t born like most Australians. He remembered having a difficult time as a child trying to adapt without having any facial hair or Australia-shaped chest hair like the rest of the kids and, being an orphan? He knew your childhood would be even worse than his.

„

[socdarlings]

Rosemary

there's no sound but the engines drone our minds set free to roam. [ao3 link]

based on this post. tw for ableism & ableist language, misogyny, and cheating.

God, this fair is so disgusting.

He never went to the Tulsa county fair literally ever and for good reason. The only people that hung around were annoying ass kids, crackheads, and beer slingers who had nothing else better to do. He could be at Randy’s house or something. Or pretending he missed Cherry and begging her to come back.

Bob never did anything bad to her, why was she so mad? Just cause I called Marcia ugly? She is! If she just stopped fuckin’ eating, maybe she’d score-

“Bob, I’m bored.”

The arm candy he brought along for the evening, Sylvia? He thought her name was, complained. “Let’s just go home.”

“Who the fuck are you telling me what to do?”

He asked incredulously, almost offended that she would dare suggest he do something. She wasn’t even his girlfriend. And in spite, he responded. “I’m staying. If you wanna go, you go. I ain’t done yet.”

Sylvia just gave an annoyed eye roll. This was gonna be a long night.

They were almost to the top of the ferris wheel. Sylvia wanted to get on, and because Bob was on his second beer for the night he was more easygoing. Both with his personality and his wallet.

The wheel stopped, and Bob just leaned back in his seat. Sylvia leaned on him, and he felt disgusted. He shrugged her off.

“Hey I ain’t your boyfriend. Find somebody else to pimp out.” He could’ve slept with her if he wanted to. He was free. But the soc kinda knew Sylvia’s reputation. And would rather keep himself from catching any fleas she might have.

“I have a boyfriend already.” She mumbled, staring at the stars. Almost looking sad. Did she still like him? It just made Bob even more grossed out. 

“If you do, why’re you coming to me?” He fished around for his cigs. Marlboro Reds. The only ones his grandma’s willing to get him. ‘Classy’ she called ‘em.

“Cuz he’s in the cooler, and I’m bored.” She just sighed, leaning on her hand. “And I’m kinda tired of him. He hates me too.” She kicked her feet back in forth.

“Oh?” He gave one of his evil grins, lighting one of his cigs. “What you do now?” Now Bob was interested. He rarely heard these broads talk about their relationships because it’s just annoying but this one? A guy that’s still in jail and he has his girl?

“He told me once. He’s crazy. Takes all these meds for it, I think he’s a junkie. Can never get his shit together. Anyway he started talking about these things he’s been hearing in his head like voices and shit.” She reached for a cigarette and Bob only let her because he wanted to hear the rest of the story. “And I told him he was crazy, ya know? I mean he is if he hears voices all the time. He asked me if I loved him and I said no, I don’t. Don’t want you to kill me. I didn’t know I was dating a psycho.” 

Man, she was mean. And Bob thought he had the title of biggest asshole in Tulsa. Sure he definitely said something like that once, but that was a while ago. 

“What, you think he’s gonna strangle you in your sleep cuz the voices tell him to?” Bob shrugged, blowing smoke up towards the stars. “I’m glad I don’t gotta deal with that shit. I don’t hang out with freaks.”

“Yeah. He gets all excited sometimes and it’s the only time he gets happy. But he stopped. Apparently I found out that’s cuz he’s on drugs for it.” She kicked her feet back and forth, lighting her own stick. “So one time it went missing. He was digging around for it everywhere and turned it upside down. Thought the cops got to him and took it away.”

The light of the cigarette lit up the small booth they were in. Bob took his lighter away. “He end up finding it?”

“Nah. I flushed it down the toilet.” Sylvia leaned back, as if she was gonna fall asleep any moment. “I told him later. He got all quiet like I told him his family died. And he wouldn’t talk to me for a week.” She shrugged. “Thought it would make him happy again. And it did. He was so happy it landed him in the cooler.” 

Bob was starting to think ‘happy’ wasn’t what he thought it was. But he just readjusted in his seat so he could look down, wondering when the wheel would turn already. It’s like they want him stuck here.

“You’re a mean bitch, you know that? No wonder he hates you.” He started snickering, seeing her wince at his words. Was he starting to feel… Bad? Angry? No… Randy would call it ‘pity’. Like when he sees little greasers alone on the streets. “Bet nobody else likes being around you. Is that why you’re with me?”

She shrugged again, trying to not let his words get to her. But it failed with how much her leg was shaking. “Just thought it was funny.”

“Uh huh.” He snubbed out his cig when the wheel jumped to life. “Take a guy’s meds and he’s got nothing. Cheat on him and he’s got no one. He ain’t happy. He’s in pain.” He snorted. “Thought you would be smart enough to know that. But turns out I was right. You’re dumber than you look.”

Sylvia doesn’t answer. It’s obvious she didn’t anticipate Bob telling her off. She probably thought he’d laugh along with her, or think she’s all that. But if Bob thought about flushing down Randy’s epilepsy meds, just to see him go in a seizure because it’s ‘funny’. That’s one level of comically evil behavior that he isn’t sure he’ll ever reach.

They landed on the ground, and Sylvia wasn’t holding onto his arm anymore. Bob’s attention went to some huge rabbit some kid got from a prize, and when he looked back she was gone.

He drove home alone that day. Wasn’t in the mood to roam the streets with his buddies or drink himself into a stupor, though he did have one more beer back there. He just thought about that poor junkie Sylvia was banging on the side. If she's that bad while he was behind bars, what's he gonna do when he gets out? He wouldn't be surprised  if she ended up in the newspaper murdered. She's got it coming, that's for damn sure. I know I woulda if I found out 'bout half the things she's been saying about me.

And Bob was right. Not about being murdered, but about everything else. Dallas and her got into an ugly fight when he found out she’s been fuckin’ other dudes behind his back. To the point he was found sobbing by Two-Bit in his room after he refused to leave for hours. 

Either way. He got a lot more stories to tell to his buddies.

[kaiwewi]

Hi!

I was wondering if I could request a rather shy and timid hero who is married to a Villain who is very protective of them especially after a known sadistic and seductive Supervillain starts to be linked to disappearance of heroes from the agency

Maybe Supervillain tries to target Hero next but Villain is having none of it

Love your writing btw!

Hey there, thanks for the request!! I put a little twist on this, and wrote it from Supervillain's pov, because why not 😉 Hope you'll like it

The Secret to a Happy Marriage

tw: fire, mild burns

Supervillain smiled.

The villain stared her down, a bit winded. They’d run here, clearly. Such dedication. Oh, that lovely determination flickering in the depths of those crazed eyes. – There was something ungodly about them, something a tad demonic.

What an enigma. Whatever had the hero seen in so feral a creature?

“Where is my hero?” the villain said. “I don’t give a fuck about the others you took. But no one touches what’s mine.”

“Your hero?” she asked, innocently. “Whatever would I need heroes for?”

The villain snarled. “Don’t know, don’t care. Cut the crap. You know what I’m talking about.”

Did she now? Well. Yes, she supposed she did know what the villain was all about. Whom the villain was all about. That’s why this was going to be so easy. A walk in the park, almost. Or rather, a stroll down the old warehouses lining these abandoned docks.

A few subtle hints she might be interested in the hero, one phone call to the hero’s private number – that had been enough to lure the villain out. They were so predictable.

One sign of danger on the horizon and the villain would be the first to run towards peril, leaving poor darling hero behind in their cute, oversized hoodie to await the return of their knight in blood-splattered armour and sharp-edged mask. For what was the hero but the villain’s personal pet damsel in distress, always there to let themself be rescued. Perhaps that was what had drawn the villain to the hero in the first place – the villain’s very own nasty little saviour complex.

And yet, no matter how timid or weak, being the rescuee simply wasn’t in a hero’s nature.

“Hm, I wonder …” When she began pacing back and forth the empty hall, the villain followed suit at what the fool had to be considering a safe distance. So conveniently reckless. “Are they even really your hero still? Didn’t the two of you have a bit of a … disagreement?”

The villain stayed tellingly silent.

She allowed her smile to turn vicious around its edges. “Didn’t they leave you because you betrayed their trust?”

“That’s not what happened.”

“No?” She tilted her head. “I have it on good authority the two of you were fighting. Something about boundaries, was it? They didn’t like you meddling in their affairs, did they?”

The villain scowled. “It’s not meddling. I was protecting them.”

Bingo. Sore spot. Now, as for driving that proverbial dagger home …

“Is that what we’re calling spying on our partner nowadays – protection?” She watched the tiny flinch of the villain’s shoulders, the half-step back, how the villain faltered; and she knew she’d found an opening. Too easy. “Your hero told you to trust them, and yet you went behind their back like you always do. No surprise they left you. I suppose I should thank you – I’m sure they wouldn’t have been so approachable if marrying you hadn’t put them on the Agency’s blacklist. First, you made them choose you and cut them off from their support system, and then you drove them away with your disrespect and your overbearing attitude …

“Hah, what a formidable protector you are.”

The villain’s throat bobbed as they swallowed. If the villain’s expression was anything to go by, her taunts had gone down like ground glass and motor oil.

She allowed herself to indulge in that sweet shiver of satisfaction that was watching the villain’s clenched jaw and listening to their sharp intake of breath. Delicious. Like she’d dealt them a physical blow.

Almost a little too soon, she went in for the kill. “You know, your hero and I had a lovely conversation earlier. They were so eager to share, and I’m such a great listener.”

“If you hurt them—”

“Me? Hurt them? Now, why would I do that?”

The villain narrowed their eyes at her; an expression so oddly natural on their arresting face. “How would I know. You’re the one targeting them.”

“Am I?” She gave them her sweetest smile. “Who said it’s your hero I’m after?”

The villain frowned. Gosh, they were almost cute. So naive in their protectiveness they hadn’t even considered the possibility the hero might not be her target for elimination but something much more … companionable. Or that the role the villain had played in this wicked game wasn’t that of a white knight but a piece of glorified bait, a prize to benevolently bestow upon her new ally.

“There’s no point in talking with you. You’re a liar.” The villain scoffed. Their voice dropped to something decidedly more ferocious for its deceptive calm. “I should rip your bloody tongue out,” the villain said conversationally, “so you can never bother my hero again with your deceit and your lies.”

“How clever. Then you’d hold the monopoly on the falsehoods and manipulations in your lover’s life.”

Growling, the villain lunged at her. It hardly mattered. There was no strategy to their mindless fury, no finesse in their too direct approach. A pity, really. The villain’s minor teleportation ability, limited as it was, could have made for a fine weapon in close combat. If only the villain were to wield those powers with more deliberation than a gorilla would an assault rifle.

As it was, however, the villain was merely tiring themself out, repeatedly striking for all the obvious spots and teleporting away whenever she countered with her fire. The patterns were simple, the attacks crude. After the first two dozen failed attempts, her flames found their target more often than not; and before long, the villain had had to retreat out of reach again, barely able to stand straight, let alone catch their breath.

The air carried the stench of singed hair and burned skin.

Nevertheless, the villain didn’t seem scared of her. Yet. They bared their teeth. “I don’t care what it’ll take, I’ll keep them safe. I’ll kill you, even if it kills me.”

Too. Fucking. Delicious.

“Even if your hero kills you?” She hummed, throwing a glance over her shoulder. This was going to be so good!

Behind her, the hero stepped out from their hiding spot in the unlit corner of the hall. They marched towards her and the villain, eyes fixed on the floor a few metres in front of their spouse as they came to stand by her side.

“Villain. You broke your promise.” The hero’s voice barely rose above a whisper. “I’m disappointed.”

Oh, the look that crossed the villain’s sweat-streaked, sooty face. Pure horror. Such exquisite betrayal. They shook their head. “No. Hero, I’m sorry. Please—”

“Silly thing,” she said to the villain and clapped a hand on the hero’s shoulder. “As if begging will make much of a difference now. That’s what you get for not treating your partner as an equal.”

The villain took an unsteady step towards them. “Hero, come on. You know I didn’t mean to disrespect you.”

The hero was still avoiding everyone’s eyes, awkward thing that they were. Their hands fiddled with the hood of their jacket as they addressed their about-to-be ex-spouse.

“But you did,” they said, low-voiced. “I told you to back off and let me handle it. And yet, here you are. Again.”

“I was trying to help.”

“I didn’t want your ‘help’.”

“But … I was worried. Shit, I—”

“Ah, I see.” The hero’s eyes snapped up to rake over the villain’s dishevelled state, shining with the predatory delight of a cat playing with an injured rat. “I was too lenient. I kept indulging you, so maybe you’ve forgotten … I don’t need your protection.”

“I- I know.”

“Do you? Just look at you! You want to play the hero? You couldn’t even finish the job.”

The villain shuddered. A murmured “I’m sorry” tumbled over their lips.

“I hope you’ve learned your lesson, because I will no longer tolerate your ego-trips.”

The hero’s entire demeanour had changed. She wouldn’t have caught the shift in their stance, subtle as the movements seemed under thick layers of oversized clothing, if it weren’t for her hand still on the hero’s shoulder. She made to pull her hand back, but one of the hero’s hands closed, with surprising strength, around her wrist.

This was a far cry from that sad, easily influenced person she’d spoken with on the phone the other day; nor did the hero resemble the shy pushover with the sloping shoulders and the nervous gait who’d approached her for an alliance.

Something wasn’t right.

With great unease, she narrowed her eyes at the hero. “What is the meaning of this?”

But the hero’s attention remained fixed on the villain – the villain who was licking their lips in a way that spoke nothing of backstabbing or hatred or worry about their imminent demise – and, oh shit, she’d made a huge mistake with those two.

“Darling,” the hero growled and there was nothing soft or timid about them anymore, “you bit of more than you can chew. I know you love to play the protector. But your game is up. Now it’s my turn.”

There was something ungodly about them, something a tad demonic.

Ah, so this was the secret to their relationship.

The hero was just as feral a creature as the villain.

———

For my other stories, visit my [MASTERLIST] ♥

[slimy-vore-bog]

Blushy Stomach

Gonna do this the classic style: here’s the drawing that I drew to the story!

(please pretend there’s a plastic bag on Luz’s phone)

(it’s transparent btw)

This was originally drawn for the shrunken Luz story, but I decided that I wanted to write it’s own story for it. (I don’t know when the shrunken Luz story will be ready) It’s going to have some similarities with the shrunken Luz story, but that one is far longer and has more build-up than actual vore. (if I wrote vore for 8.5k words it would have to be painfully detailed fulltour and I definitely do not like fulltour)

This story contains: Prey pov Luz, pred Amity, lumity, prey tasting of something, mentions of possible fatal scenarious (brief and not acknowledged beyond that) blushy pred (obviously, it’s our ((or at least my)) favorite gay Amity) curious and eager prey and somewhat reluctant pred.

No major warnings this time! :D

Also did you know stomachs can blush? I looked it up after seeing that one post and seems to be true! That’s why I drew the stomach more reddish. Also also, I know the lighting is terrible... I’m not that good at drawing vore yet, and I don’t really draw light sources (Luz’s phone’s flashlight) that often.

The reason it isn’t a light spell is because the paper would get soaked through.

word count: 1.7 k

***

Amity groaned, "how do you always get me roped into stuff like this?!" The witch leaned her head into her hands, glaring down that the human below her.

 Luz took a step back at Amity's anger. “I told you it’s fine if you don’t want to!” She held her hands up defensively, but her friend’s anger stopped as abruptly as it began.

The witch looked away from her in embarrassment. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.” She hesitantly met the shrunken girl’s gaze, Luz feeling a lot calmer after Amity’s apology. The regular-sized witch hesitantly scratched the back of her neck. “How do we go about this then? Do I just… put you in my mouth?” she questioned anxiously.

 Luz looked at Amity’s mouth, feeling nervous excitement rush through her. “Yeah, if you can!” Her heart raced, as she stared up at Amity. She felt the larger girl’s fingers tentatively close around her, before she shifted her grip to scoop her up instead.

 Amity looked at her for a few seconds, “you’re weird, you know that, right?” There was a bit of a glare in Amity’s eyes, but Luz was pretty sure that was normal for the young Blight.

 Luz nodded enthusiastically, “mhm, completely aware and proud of it!” She smiled up at her friend, a small smile twitching on Amity’s lips too. Luz’s heart fluttered whenever she made Amity happy. Luz didn’t realize she was so focused on Amity’s lips as she was, chalking it up to the fact that she was just curious about getting eaten.

Amity brought Luz closer to her mouth; Luz could see the throat bob as she swallowed nervously, before she was lifted all the way up to her face. “Did you get that thing on your weird human scroll?” Amity eyed Luz nervously, when her face suddenly reddened. “The plastic sleeve. Was that what you called it?” She looked away from Luz, bringing her away from her face. “I mean the thing to go over your scroll; not the scroll, I don’t remember what that was called!”

 Luz stared at her in confusion; her friend was a blabbering mess. But she hadn’t actually done that. “No, I’ll do that!” She brought the plastic sleeve out of her pocket, letting her phone fall into it. It was a little challenging with the bat wings, but with all the time she had spent in the normal rain; she was pretty much an expert. “Thanks, Amity.” Luz showed her the phone. “Oh, and this is called a phone!”

 Amity nodded, as her face returned to its normal pale shade. “Alright,” she said, opening her mouth a little before shutting it again. “You’re sure about this, Luz? I’m not the best at learning new spells…” The girl’s eyes flicked around the room. “What if I didn’t get the protection spell to work? I don’t want to be the reason you die!” Her eyes widened, as the realization hit her. “What if you can’t breathe or you get burnt up by the acids?”

 Luz wasn’t worried anything was going to go wrong. “You can just barf me back up, before anything happens!” She stood up in Amity’s hand, wobbling a little, before she found her footing. “I don’t mind a few burns! I trust that you can get me out in time anyways!” She wanted to reach out and touch Amity’s nose, but she couldn’t quite reach. She decided to say what she was thinking, without the nose hug, she had been planning. “I trust you, Amity.”

 She blinked at Luz, before her cheeks pinked and she shyly looked away. “That means a lot…” she locked eyes with Luz, making both their hearts flutter for a moment. “Thank you.”

 Amity took a deep breath, before she breathed out, and slowly opened her mouth.

 It gave Luz a proper look at Amity’s surprisingly sharp teeth, that looked sort of puppylike compared to Eda’s fangs. Luz decided not to ask Amity, if witches teeth turned into fangs when they got older. Mostly because that would mean it would take longer before Luz could try to get a look inside Amity’s stomach.

 Amity didn’t wait too long after opening her mouth to shove Luz inside. Luz spoke up in protest. “Wait, I want to look at your mouth longer!” She didn’t want to immediately go straight from her mouth to her belly; she wanted to take a longer look at Amity’s mouth.

 Amity swallowed the saliva around her, before pulling Luz back out her mouth. “Sure, but when my jaw gets tired that’s enough looking.” Amity absentmindedly licked her lips, before her brows furrowed. “You taste kind of sweet, Luz.”

 Luz tilted her head, “sweet?” What did she mean by that? She hadn’t dipped herself in honey or sugar as far as she remembered. “Like sugar?”

 Amity nodded, “like really good marshhellows.” Luz could tell Amity drooled a little at the mention of what had to be the Boiling Isles equivalent of marshmallows. She used her arm to wipe the drool away. “Sorry; I really like sweet things.” Amity smiled awkwardly, before she opened her mouth again.

 Luz leaned against Amity’s lip one hand, gently touching her teeth with the other. She gently pressed her hands against the teeth, before she took her phone out of her pocket. She shined it into Amity’s mouth, looking into her throat. It sent a small pang of fear through her. This was the mouth of someone that she was going to let herself get eaten by. And that was the throat she was going to pass down through.

 She shook her head, feeling her heart pound in a mix of excitement and fear. This was Amity’s mouth; not just a rando’s mouth. She pocketed her phone, before running her hands along her tongue. There was a startled gasp from Amity, before a puddle of drool collected under Luz’s hands.

 “You’re really drooling over me, Amity.” Luz teased, feeling the other girl flinch at her words. “Didn’t think I tasted that good!” Luz found the flinching strange, but she didn’t comment on it; she didn’t get to, even if she wanted.

 Amity let out an offended huff air, before she shoved Luz all the way into her mouth.

 Luz felt a bit squished, as Amity closed her mouth. The bigger girl lapped at her as she let her drool soak into her clothes and hair. It was surprisingly enough not too uncomfortable. Well, if she could ignore the outrageous amounts of drool, she was getting lathered in.

 It only took a couple more seconds, before Amity decided to tilt her head back and swallow Luz.

 The gulp that suddenly surrounded Luz was surprisingly noisy. A gross squelching noise followed it, when Luz squirmed to get more comfortable.

 Amity didn’t even take notice of her squirming, as she quickly swallowed again, sealing Luz completely away in her throat.

 Luz felt Amity swallow a third time, after she had left the girl’s mouth. Luz found the pressure of Amity’s throat somewhat comforting, like on of those weighted blankets, except heavier and more crushing. But definitely still oddly comfy.

 It only took a couple more seconds, before she reached the belly of her friend. She was quickly squeezed through opening of the witch’s stomach, before she tumbled into it with a wet smack. Luz immediately took her phone out of her pocket, before she pulled herself up on her elbows. She turned on the flashlight, shining it around the pink chamber. “Woah,” muttered Luz to herself, as a sense of disbelief hit her. She suddenly got an urge to take a picture inside Amity’s gut.

 But Amity spoke up, before Luz got any further with her plan. “Are you okay?”

 Luz nodded, before realized Amity couldn’t see her. “Fine as ever!” she shouted up at her witch friend. “Is it okay if I take a picture inside your stomach?” asked Luz, looking back up at where she assumed Amity was.

 There was a nervous laugh above her. “Uh, sure?”

 “Great!” shouted Luz, only taking a couple seconds to do just that. “Man, this is so crazy!” She felt a burst of excitement as she looked around the witch’s belly. “Amity, can you believe this is possible?” Luz hadn’t expected stuff like this to be possible when she first arrived at the Boiling Isles. She was pretty sure getting eaten was certain death, but apparently not every time. “It’s probably not that strange to you, but I have never been as close to someone as I am right now!”

 Luz noticed the walls around her beginning to redden, before Amity spoke up. “You have never been so close to someone before?”

 Just as Luz started getting concerned about the reddening color; she heard Amity’s heartbeat speed up too. It only took a second for the pieces to click in place in Luz’s head. Amity was blushing. Amity’s stomach was blushing too. Luz couldn’t help herself from bursting out a surprised shout. “Your stomach is blushing, Amity!”

And when that piece fell into place, so did her other feelings. The fluttering of her own heart when she made Amity laugh or smile, Amity’s normal blushing, her rambling sentences and the way she let Luz get too close to her face without going into a full-blown blush. “Oh my gosh…” mumbled Luz, slapping a hand against her forehead. “You have a crush on me!”

 The stomach reddened even more, as Amity squeaked out a quiet yes that Luz could barely hear over the girl’s pounding heart.

 Luz picked herself up, somehow not slipping in the slimy flesh, as she shifted to sit in Amity’s stomach. “I like you too!” Luz grinned in excitement. “Want to go out at some point?”

 There was a startled choke above her. “Sure!” The witch’s heart started pounding faster. “I mean, yes, there’s nothing I would-” she cut herself off, changing what she was about to say. “I would love to go out with you, Luz.” The way she said her name was soft and caring.

 Luz liked the way the girl said her name. “Great!”

 ***

That’s the end! I hope you enjoyed reading this! :D I loved writing it! Luz not realizing she was crushing on Amity was fun to write! Haven’t done that since the original Growing Feelings!

Also I queued another post, so they might post at the same time... whoops. Eh, it’s not like it matters.

And, yes, I know Marshhellows is a really bad pun, but shh! It’s my story I do what I want. I know it sounds more like hello than hell, but just ignore that. And Mallows doesn’t sound like Hellows at all... It’s not my best work, okay?

(Finally gave it a title, even if it isn’t the most impressive)

[hellzyeahwebwielingessays]

Lets debunk the BS from this. Up top a lot of this BS comes from Bob Chipman/MovieBob who is the guy who if you recall said:

-         Superheroes like Superman (and thus by extension Spider-Man who marry civilians were jerks for putting their spouses through the same stuff soldiers’ spouses go through

-         Spider-Man appeals best to teens (even though he provably doesn’t since most people get into him before their teens and he appealed to college students in his heyday)

-         The Spider-Marriage was nothing more than a forced publicity stunt

-         Sins Past is worse than OMD

-         Spider-Man is about passive aggressive power

-         And the best one, ever since OMD Peter and MJ had become ‘more interesting’

That all being said lets dive into this:

Someone asked the panel what a queer reading would add to the character of Miles…Jesus…that’s just the greatest sign of hope for this podcast isn’t it? Shoot me now…

Miles was not 3 dimensional when he was created. Even if you disagree it is nonsense to say that Peter wasn’t  three dimensional when he was first created. Just look at how much Stan explored Peter’s psychology in this singular panel from ASM #50

Look at that. Peter Parker pulled between the two sides of his life. Making a judgement of someone. But then calling out his own judgement of them and acknowledging maybe he’s in the wrong.

This was 1967!

That isn’t three dimensional?

Additionally other people would disagree that Peter wasn’t three dimensional early on.

And even if you disagree with that it’s nonsense to say he hasn’t SINCE become three dimensional or that retaining his origin story (which Miles broadly uses as the basis for his story in every version of his character) somehow holds him back from being three dimensional. If nothing else Peter was at least multifaceted for the time period.

Spider-Man wasn’t an example of stories about a 15 year old made for 7 year olds. Spider-Man was intended to be a senior in AF #15 and the stories were written by Stan for at worst an older audience but at best basically just for him.

Stan Lee confirmed that AF #15 was written not as a one off but as something that if successful COULD become an on-going series.

Its BS to say Peter makes no sense as a character because he makes sense about as much as any character within the confines of the superhero genre can. MILES doesn’t somehow make more sense whatsoever.

No. Spider-Man wasn’t merely a thrown together ‘hey here is a teenage superhero story with a downer ending’ it was a story about selfishness, responsibility and appealed via it’s relative normalcy and lack of idealization of the superhero protagonist.

The psychology and thematic idea of his exclusive powers (invisibility+venom blast) is the same…how? How is disappearing and repelling people the same thing? They keep saying that in the podcast as though it’s obvious and it’s really not

Great Power=Great responsibility isn’t Peter’s catch phrase it’s the philosophy underpinning everything he does

‘The young end millennials have been thrown under the bus by society so the optimism is reserved for the young end millenials like Miles and Gwen’ oh but also ‘you need 5-10 years added to each character to have this make sense and also Spide-Ham doesn’t quit fit’…So…the theory doesn’t  make sense then does it. Also, what optimism is there for teen millenials in the late 2010s? We are all shit scared Global warming needs to be fixed within the next 10-20 years. The young end millenials will not be in much of a position to do that. Maybe not the high-end millenials either. The power rests in older Gen Xers or even older generations. So this ‘generational’ theory is bullshit. Yeah, Miles as the next generation maybe makes sense but not when you apply real world concepts of who the different generations are. Especially considering that’s made up bullshit anyway.

‘Blah blah blah for most of my life I’ve been uninterested in Spider-Man because I’ve believed him to be WHITE MALE teenaged wish fulfilment.’…*internally groans*…oh boy…this woman is one of those  types huh. Frankly I, and I would advocate others too, take a salt shaker with them whenever they hear someone say something like this. But more importantly Spider-Man is seriously NOT what she describes. For starters Peter was a senior in high school when he began and shouldered adult responsibilities when his father died. That’s wish fulfilment? That’s a BURDEN. The reason that spoke to so many people was because he was just different and because his imperfections made him more relatable. The whiteness idea is also bullshit since he was intentionally or otherwise subtextually Jewish and has spoken to countless people of all colours across the generations. He very particularly has a HUGE following among African Americans which was partially what prompted the creation of Miles Morals in the first place!  Shit, the showrunner for the 1994 Spider-Man cartoon was black for God’s sake. Many of the head honcho creators for ITSV were people of colour who were clearly MASSIVE Spider-Man fans!

‘As a woman Spider-Man didn’t resonate with me’. Spider-Man is male. And he acts in ways a male would in the context of the situations. But the character as a whole, in his deepest themes and concepts, is a universal character. He does and has spoken to people across race, gender, sex, sexuality, class, culture and generations. Spider-Girl, Mayday Parker, was her father’s daughter and far more similar than different to him. She spoke to male and female readers. Peter Parker himself has had female fans since his inception. There is no end of female fans here on tumblr or in other online spaces that are the proof of this, to say nothing of old letters pages.

Miles feels more like a real kid and fits together better than most other versions of Peter Parker?...how? I don’t like USM the comic but hwo the fuck do you take that, Spec Spidey, the 1994 cartoon and the Raimi movies (that MovieBob adores btw) and say ‘it doesn’t fit together properly like Miles’. Dude, Comic Book Miles Morales is a teenager in New York who goes to a bordering school for scientifically gifted kids and yet is supposed to be an everyman. That fits together well? He risked his life before  being motivated to do so which is how most 13 year old woudn’t  have acted. Then he feels guilty about Peter dying but his BFF explains it’s not his fault and he accepts this but then goes on to become Spider-Man anyway. And somehow this equates to guilt+responsibility. THAT’s better put together? His character got web-shooters two different ways by the same writer and the guy he was a legacy to was resurrected within like 3 years of Miles’ debut. That’s well put together? This makes more sense and is more believable than a kid who’s Dad dies because he didn’t use his gifts altruistically, so he spends his whole life striving to use them altruistically?

Blah blah blah MovieBob spewing more shit about how Peter is a teenage wish fulfilment power fantasy even though he clearly isn’t from a modern POV and REALLY wasn’t in the early 1960s.

By extension arguing Peter is an adult male’s retroactive teenaged wish fulfilment fantasy of working stuff out is so plainly wrong. Peter Parker in the early 1960s didn’t have everything figured out. The whole world was against him totally unfairly. He needed Aunt May or the Human Torch at times to give him pep talks. His social life was barely existent! You wanna see a middle aged man’s retroactive young wish fulfilment fantasy? Go read Brand New Day, which MovieBob claims was superior to the pre-OMD era. What is the wish fulfilment here? That attractive young women like him? Is that it? That one thing vs. all the horrible shit beating Peter down?

Bob claims there was a lot more Steve Ditko in the early issues of his run compared to Stan Lee because Peter was very angry. First of all Ditko was such a private person claiming he was definitely angry and that the anger was all him is a MASSIVE speculation. Especially considering Stan wrote Spidey as angry plenty after Ditko left. More importantly, Peter wasn’t  angry in the early Ditko issues except for maybe issue #8. He had his moments sure, but it wasn’t at all consistent. He wasn’t raging out or smashing shit like he did later  in Ditko’s run. He was more anxious and neurotic in those early issues which is comparatively closer to how Stan and Romita handled Peter in their earliest issues together. Peter and the whole world of Spidey got angrier towards the end  of Ditko’s run. You know when Stan was letting Steve plot stuff more and more…It’s almost like Bob is full of shit or something

Bob tries to claim by the time ITSV was being written the kinks in Miles’ character had been worked out in the comics. Nah fam. If anything they’d been exacerbated. In reality it was the ITSV writers who took the wonky early Miles character and worked out those kinks themselves, creating an overall superior rendition of the character. A viewpoint I am not alone in.

‘The Prowler has never been a particularly noteworthy villain in the comics’ That’s because he’s not  a villain. He was kind of a villain in his debut but he very quickly became an ally to Spidey

The panel then get into a very pretentious discussion about how ITSV preaches you arne’t stapled to your origin, you are not your trauma. That claiming that is pretentious ala Zack Snyder. But like…isn’t that the POINT of super hero origins? That they contextualize everything about the heroes thereafter? Isn’t carrying his trauma with everything they do practically the point of Batman and Spider-Man’s origins; you know the 2 most popular heroes? Uncle Ben’s death IS stapled to Spider-Man because it underlines everything he ever does. Shit it doesn’t even make sense when applied to Miles in ITSV. He does what he does because his Spider-Man died and then so did his uncle. There is even a whole scene in his dorm room where each Spider-Hero relays the grief that shaped their own lives. I’m not saying you need death and tragedy to be Spider-Man. But that’s neither a bad thing nor something that ISN’T applicable to Peter nor ITSV Miles. Aren’t these idiots supposed to be film buffs? How do you screw up such a basic reading like that?

One of the pundits claimed the movie preaches acting heroically in spite of your tragedies not because of them. Again though…that’ not Spider-Man. Peter is a hero specifically because his uncle died. Miles endeavours to become Spider-Man because his Peter died. His Uncle Aaron’s death further fuels him and allows him to make to final leap of faith. Yes, Peter B. continues to be a hero in spite of his failings but it is only his experiences with Miles that make that possible.

‘They don’t need the tragedies to be heroic they are already heroic in their own right. Look, I don’t disagree with that more broadly. Mayday Parker didn’t need tragedy to be a hero. But in terms of the specific characters in this movie? That’s clearly not true:

This whole ‘in spite of tragedy’ shit is so pre-Marvel DC comics it hurts. Heroes who just innately do the right thing because it is the right thing to do is a dated and archaic invention Spidey and the other Marvel heroes were reacting against.

‘Spider-Man Noir detracted from the film’s message of diversity because he was a brooding WHITE MAN who prowled the night to enact fist based justice!!!!’ Do I even need to say anything to that? First of all literally every hero in the movie enacts fist based justice. Why does Noir operating at night make him worse than Peter B? Why does him being male make that worse than Peni or Gwen? Why does him being white make that worse than Miles or Peni? And as for detracting from the message of diversity, shockingly diversity can be found within the same ethnic or gender group. You know white/male people aren’t a monolith and all that. Plus creatively you want PERSONALITY diversity more than anything else. In this movie in particular you want shorthand conceptual differences too. ‘Spider-Man but an anime mech girl’ ‘Spider-Man but a noir character’. ‘Spider-Man but a cartoon pig’. This is how asinine this disgusting modern day mentality is.

Wow…MovieBob defending Noir from the asinine comment. I’m genuinely surprised. Too bad he doesn’t use the most obvious defence of ‘that is obviously a ridiculous statement to make you moron’

The next topic of discussion was related to Marvel moving away from Gwen as Spider-Man’s dead girlfriend. I spoke a lot about Bob’s ice cold take on that in this post.

He claims they introduced Spider-Gwen because the idea would be taboo and thus would get people talking. HA! Spider-Gwen was done as just a general idea not something to spark controversy. It wouldn’t even BE controversial. Marvel brought back a version of Gwen within 2 years of her death. They brought her back again 15 years after her death. They brought her back again 22 years after her death along with other versions who melted because it was the Clone Saga. During and after all those times they had AUs of Gwen in What If, Age of Apocalypse, Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane and other such stuff. An explicitly AU of Gwen Stacy in 2014 was one of the most aggressively uncontroversial  things you could do.

Gwen’s ballet shoes differentiate her from every other Spider-Man ever. I mean yes in terms of being a dancer I suppose but in terms of being dedicated and studious, training hard and earning immense physical control? There have been plenty of versions of Spider-Man pre-2018 who are like that.

The only way you can make Spider-Gwen work going forward is by not tying it to her death in the canon? Boy…too God damn bad her debut and origin is entirely built upon that. Her origin in the comics and in the movies is built  upon a role reversal because it is Peter who dies to motivate her. Film audiences would’ve still grasped that role reversal because it was only 4 years ago Emma Stone’s highly popular rendition of the character died. And that was in the last pre-MCU Spider-Man movie to boot!

‘The only Iron Man story anyone cared about was Demon in a Bottle’ Actually they only cared about that story and Armor Wars. But yeah, the MCU version is lesser for neither having his alcoholism nor a crippling heart condition. The mere fact people became complacent about that doesn’t mean it wasn’t reductive.

‘These are fictional characters they need to grow and change with the times to remain popular’ Gwen Stacy sucked shit in the 1960s-1970s and was then killed off and defined by her death. Somehow she still  wound up becoming a fan favourite by the 90s and 21st century. Spider-Gwen sucks as a character but not in concept. I never had a problem with the concept. But the idea that she needed to exist to keep Gwen popular is bullshit because Gwen had somehow become immensely popular in spite of being a nothing character. And that even presumes anyone needed to perform maintenance on Gwen to keep her popular. No we didn’t. She was an irrelevant character beyond her death. It’s like saying we need to change Uncle Ben or Bruce’s parents to keep them popular.

Gwen’s affect on Peter Parker was important for awhile but we aren’t that society anymore. It’s not a fucking societal concern!  Putting aside how a 2014 movie did Gwen’s death just a few years before ITSV, Gwen’s death is about a universal human experience.  Death, grief, moving on. Oh, I see. This halfwit mistakenly believes Gwen is an example of women in the refrigerator.

Gwen died because Peter had this perfect lovely girlfriend and everything was too great for him and they didn’t know how to write beyond that. An oversimplification. Gwen died because they needed to shake things up for sales in general. Because Conway shipped Peter with MJ. And a 20 year old Spidey in 1973 really was too young to be killed off. Oh and you know she was written like shit. Yeah that’s the part no one ever talks about. Gwen is played up as this underserving victim of a character but she sucked shit.

It’s almost the 2020s! So fucking what? People still lose loved ones in the 2020s? I’m not even saying Spider-Gwen should have died in ITSV or revolved around her counterpart dying. I’m saying this dumbass is wrong for bringing it up as though killing Gwen off is dated on principle. But this is the same moron who unironically said ‘I never connected to Spider-Man because he is a teenaged white male wish fulfilment fantasy’. I’m sure she got top marks in her gender studies class

‘sOme PpL nEEd 2 gEt oVa iTTTTTTT’ I genuinely wish this person would wake up mute someday.

‘We could do a whole movie about Spider-Gwen’. I don’t respect where this opinion is coming from but I don’t necesarilly disag- ‘Get Seanen Maguire to write it’…nevermind. This gets even worse when you consider Maguire had only been writing Gwen for literally 3 issues at the time this podcast was released. Of the back of three issues  you are declaring this writer qualified to write an entire movie about the character? Not even Jason Latour who created her. I smell someone who just jumped on the bandwagon or worse is blinded by agenda and ideology.

‘Gwen could’ve done with 5 more minutes’ It’s not her movie!  It’s Miles’ movie and secondarily Peter B’s movie because he is Miles mentor. It is through their mutual relationship that Miles learns to be Spider-Man and Peter learns to be Spider-Man again.

It never made sense for an 80 year old woman to be raising a 16 year old boy! Aunt May in the 1960s wasn’t in her 80s. She just looked that way because, duh, standards of health were different back then. A 40 year old now looks much younger and in better health than someone who potentially might’ve been born in the 19th century circa 1962! A working class  woman no less…With chronic health problems! Even if she was in her mid-late 50s her looking like that was totally believable in context! And her raising Peter was also entirely believable depending upon how old Ben and May were when Richard and Mary were born. It’s not beyond possibility at all that there was 15-20 years separating Ben and his younger brother, meaning if Peter was born when Richard was 25, Ben and May would’ve been in their 40s. Thus by the time Peter was 15 they’d be in their 50s or 60s.

These idiots keep treating Peter from Miles’ universe as a bona fide version of 616 Peter when it’s blindingly obvious he’s supposed to be an idealized rendition of the character. A version intended to be a juxtaposition to the version we all know walking into the movie.

Peter B. Parker having a more traditional version of Aunt May as opposed to a more proactive and involved version has left him with a sense of giving up. Er…no. It’s pretty obvious Peter B. Parker is the Spider-Man we know and love who normally doesn’t give up but one string of failures after another has brought him to his lowest. But he rises back up again. Look Peter is supposed to be a representation of human beings. Human beings need people and need emotional support. When you lose those people and are alone you can go to a very dark place. That’s Peter B’s story. If Aunt May had been more involved but everything else went wrong (including her death) he’d have still wound up in the dark place he went to. Blonde Peter might’ve weathered May’s death better in theory but he had OTHER stuff in his life to keep him afloat. Peter B lost most everything. What horseshit it is to argue if Aunt May was different he’d have not given up.

There was no purpose for Aunt May being as old as she was or on the cusp of death in the original comics. Er…yeah there was. She was that old because it made her more vulnerable and thus accentuated the loss of her husband and the need for Peter to be her support network. It also internally justified why she was so frail and unwell. Old people usually have health problems. Duh! But then Bob admits there is a reason for those decisions. So he is contradicting himself.

Bob presumes Blonde Peter told Aunt May his secret even though there is no evidence in the movie to support that idea.

Kids today aren’t resentful of their grandparents like older generations were, that’s why Aunt May is played differently now. Um…Peter was never resentful of Aunt May in the first place. He sincerely loved her and felt he needed to pay her back for all she’d done for him.

‘Kids today have cool grandparents because 50% of them would have been hippies.’ Hippies aren’t cool. And never were. They were pretentious losers that hid behind causes as an excuse to do drugs and have lots of sex. Over half a century later the world they claimed to fight for and want to build has yet to materialise and in fact is in a lot of ways far worse off than it was before their generation rose to the seats of power. The hippy generation are part of the baby boomer generation that are so thoroughly mocked today. The people in power who’ve fucked up the job and housing market for consequent generations. These idiots literally spouted a dumbass theory earlier on about how first wave millenials have been thrown under the bus. Who do you think did that? The baby boomers, many of whom used  to be hippies! And NONE of this demands Aunt May has to be different. I have no problem with her being different in ITSV. But the idea of someone who used to be a hippy being doting? Being a worry wart? Why the Hell is that a dated concept?

These idiots clearly view the world aggressively through an identitarian and group weighted lens as opposed to how the world really is. I.e. 7 billion+ individuals

There was a weird amount of focus upon gangsters in the Spec Spidey cartoon considering it was for kids. Not really, the show was reverential of the original comics. The original comics (which were for children) had lots of gangsters

To the people who bitch and moan about getting another Spider-Man it doesn’t take away from the one you had before. No one was complaining about Miles as another Spider-Man in this movie. People weren’t claiming it ruins the Raimi movies or something. People resent it in the comics because it waters down the brand and makes Spider-Man himself less special when he is an ONGOING character. It’d be one thing maybe if the torch was passed from person to person. But nowadays it’s literally all of them co-existing.

Blah blah bah symbolism of a young black boy fighting a big WHITE business MAN. Blah blah blah this is the type of bad guy Miles would fight in real life blah blah blah…Jesus Christ… these people really just buy that type of Kool-aid in bulk don’t they? As if Miles, were he ‘real’ wouldn’t fight anyone who’s doing bad things. FFS they just got done talking about Tombstone from the Spec cartoon. Tombstone is an African American!  And he’s in this fucking movie. He’s not some weird fantastical guy, he’s a regular gangster who happens to be albino. That’s it. Miles fights him in this fucking movie! Miles first major adversary in the comics was the Prowler who was another African American. Miles wouldn’t JUST fight ‘evil white businessMEN’

‘As far as I know about Doc Ock from Superior Spider-Man, which is excellent’ Wow. So, as would be obvious with anyone with a working brain and some prior knowledge of Otto, Superior is garbage. And saying you are basing your assessments of Otto on Superior is like saying you have never known about the character

Doc Ock is in so many Spidey stories as a scientific assistant to other people because the Green Goblin is always either dead or completely untrustworthy. Bob really just said that huh? This is further proof Bob has read precious little Spider-Man material. Doc Ock is NOBODY’s assistant. Even in Secret Wars he had to be threatened into compliance by Doom himself when Ultron was his attack dog. Doc Ock isn’t recruited by other people for his genius, he is the mover and shaker. He recruits other people and is the man in charge. And who the fuck is looking to get the help of Norman Osborn because he’s a scientist? Not to mention Norman is untrustworthy, oh but Otto?????????? The guy who tried to nuke NYC???????? WTF is Bob talking about?

Since we are in the ‘age of heroes’ (whatever THAT means?) it is impossible for Spider-Man to not be mentored by some other hero. Er…yeah it is? This is obviously a defence of MCU Spider-Man and it holds no water. First of all DC and Marvel have had young heroes show up when there are a plethora of heroes around they’ve not had mentors. Second of all it’s entirely possible for Peter to not WANT a mentor and it’d be entirely believable that the other heroes might not see themselves as mentors or might mistrust him.

The Spider-Heroes take their grief and turn it into action. WHOA WHOA WHOA! Didn’t these guys say earlier that the movie preaches the heroes are more than their trauma? That they aren’t stapled to their origins? That they move on from it? What’s this change of tune all of a sudden?

Miles Dad was probably made into a cop to avoid having a difficult discussion about how the police would react to a black super hero or a black Spider-Man. Yeah, or it’s because you know…his Dad worked in law enforcement in the comics so you know…faithfulness. Also the police don’t discriminate against black heroes in the MCU except Luke Cage. Also, also not every fucking cop is racist. Also, also, also how would they know Miles is black his costume covers his whole body!

Miles Dad was super authoritarian. Dude. He didn’t like vigilantes and he followed basic rules like stopping not abusing police sirens. That’s hardly akin to being a jackbooted fascist.

Miles would’ve had a different relationship with authority and the police if his Dad hadn’t been a cop. Er…no not necessarily. First of all being the son of a cop doesn’t mean he’d have not experienced institutionalized racism from the police. Second of all even if he had experienced that he could still believe in justice and taking down obviously evil and dangerous people like Kingpin.

They never touched upon institutional racism from the police in Luke Cage which was for adults. Er, yes they did. The rapper in the later episodes of season 1 (the Bulletproof Love guy) stated he wasn’t going to call the police. The police were stopping and searching black men in their hunt for Cage. Black people wore shirts with holes in them in order to protect Cage and defy the cops. The rap mentioned how nobody was interested in protecting their neighbourhood.

Nobody wants the tell a superhero story about institutional racism within the authorities. Isn’t that literally Luke Cage’s origin? Didn’t Black Panther mention that earlier in the year ITSV was released.

I’m going to disagree that Miles fighting Kingpin was unnecessary because of the cultural connotations we talked about….God…You couldn’t just say ‘the main hero obviously has to defeat the main villain. Duh!’…

Dan Slott is a dang genius! As if you needed more proof these people are unqualified  to talk about Spider-Man…

Spider-Verse’s (the comic’s) fan service is what happens when you get Spider-Man fans to do the story vs. ITSV. Nah fam. ITSV is what happens when you get real fans who are talented  vs. Spider-Verse is what happens when you get a real fan who fundamentally misunderstands the characters and is a hack

There is no real Peter Parker. Who cares! The real Peter Parker is the original because he is the one everyone else is derivative of and therefore based upon. And fans AND creators and Marvel itself clearly care about that because they sure as fuck didn’t kill him  off so Miles could replace him. They killed off the secondary and surplus Ultimate Peter Parker. Treating the original version as the true  one doesn’t invalidate any other versions because they can still be great characters unto themselves. But given how disgustingly SJW this whole podcast has been I am unsurprised they go in for this participation trophy form of analysis where everything is equal all the time.

It also doesn’t invalidate the idea of Spider-Man being anyone. Spider-Man CAN be anyone. But not everyone can be Peter Parker. If we are going to say otherwise the praise these jackoffs lauded onto Miles for how his specific identity was explored is invalidated. Peter is Peter. Miles is Miles. They can both be Spider-Heroes worthy of the mantle.

Because Miles is a POC people who don’t look like Peter can believe they can be Spider-Man. I’m not arguing against Miles but seriously, that was the case before Miles existed. The showrunner of Spider-Man 1994 was an African American and he related to Peter Parker in the 1960s. Poc can relate to Spider-Man regardless of skin colour.

The original comic book version of Spider-Man isn’t the true one just because he is the original. Er….yeah. It seriously does precisely BECAUSE he is the version all the other ones are derivative of. Hence he’s from the PRIME universe. Shit the Spider-Verse comic book the movie takes mild inspiration from literally says that. Granted it then contradicts itself but the point still stands. Because he is the original one he IS the true one because without him the others would not exist. He is the canonical one!

The true 616 Spider-Man will never be in any adaptation because there is too much continuity…Yeah…so? How does that make him not  the original one in the broad context though when you compare every version?

Continuity is the killer of enjoyment when it comes to movies. No, this podcast is the killer of enjoyment. And btw, maybe ask all the people who went to see Infinity War earlier in the year ITSV was released and ask them if continuity ruined that movie for them. This is such a lazy, myopic attitude.

If continuity is used to exclude people it is bad. Good job nobody was ever saying ITSV shouldn’t exist because Miles isn’t Peter then

Infinity War is a fine movie even if you do not know who everybody is. No it isn’t. Infinity War is wholly inaccessible if you do not know who everyone is because it’s throwing dozens of characters at you with little-no context provided.

Black Panther is better than Infinity War, this proves continuity is bad. No. Black Panther not having to have it’s story wrapped up in everything else in the wider universe was what helped make it better. FFS, Winter Soldier is better than Avengers 2012 and that still relies upon plenty of continuity. Civil War is better than Thor the Dark World and the latter has way less continuity than the former. It’s not about having continuity it’s about how you use it. Black Panther was world building in it’s own corner. It wasn’t plugged in so directly to the wider universe the way Homecoming or FFH was. THAT’s what made it good but that’s not a continuity issue that’s a world building issue.

Continuity is toxic when you use it to claim a long running fantasy series didn’t satisfy you. Uh huh, hey do you wanna ask all the people who hated Game of Thrones’ final season that?

Oh, and one of the pundits, the one who bleeted on about Spidey as a ‘tEEnAgE WHITE mAle wish fUlLfiLmEnt fantasy!’ is a Hollywood actress. Now her views make waaaaaaaaaay too much sense

In conclusion…Sigh…For a podcast called School of Movies I think these guys need to go back to kindergarten.

[slooshystyles]

distract me | H.S one shot smut

WRITER: hey welcome to my first post! this is a harry styles smut one shot that i wrote on my wattpad account go check that out (mystic_angels),i haven’t posted it yet so ya’ll will get the first look of it!, my account will be based on harry styles smut one shots/regular one shots and 1D one shots/smut one shots so REQUESTS are open if u want to message me a one shot request go ahead! (btw GIF is not mine, and your imagine name is lauren) anyways enjoy!! <3

________________________

WARNING: this one shot contains smut, fluff at the end,  vulnerable harry that will make your heart melt

REQUESTS ARE: OPEN!

important note:  do not copy/steal my writings and post them on any other platform, if you do i will report and ask for you to kindly delete it, if you credit my one shots as if they were your own please don’t it is rude and disrespectful, if you see anyone posting my writings on either wattpad or any where else please message me and let me know! thank you :) <3

summary: in which harry is scared of thunderstorms so lauren came up with the best idea to distract him

LAUREN’S POV: 

"BOOM CLASH!" is what i woke up to there was a thunderstorm tonight, me and harry are in bed sleeping well i was until i heard thunder roaring i tried closing my eyes but i just couldn't seem to fall back in a peaceful slumber i grabbed my phone to see what time it is 4:25 AM i groaned quietly turning my head in my boyfriend harry’s direction his back facing me the blanket all the way up to his neck i tried one last time going back to sleep i was on my way until i heard another roar of thunder but suddenly i heard a whimper it came from my left which was the side harry was sleeping on, i looked at him and saw that his head was under the blanket and his body was shaking he kept whispering saying something like "please make it stop, please god"

my heart shattered at how scared harry looked and sounded so i scooted over towards him and wrapped my arms around him he jumped slightly but relaxed once he knew it was me i gently pulled the blanket off of his face making him turn over facing me even in the dark i could see his green eyes glowing, but something else i noticed: he was crying his eyes were puffy his nose red, his lips swollen, a tear rolling down his flushed cheeks i quickly turned over turning on a lamp then looking at harry

"baby why are you crying?" i asked worried i've never seen harry cry during a thunderstorm or in general for that matter i reached up to whip his tears and ran my fingers through his soft long brown curls that i adore so much

it took him a few to be able to talk and when he did my heart broke even more i had to keep myself from crying

"i-i don't li-like thu-thunder st-storms, th-they give m-me night ma-mares" he stuttered while sobbing after another clash of thunder boomed outside making harry sob and whimper even louder

"hubby its alright i'm here with you, i'll keep you safe its only nature my love" i cooed putting my arm over his waist so i could hug him tightly i kissed the top of his head whispering comforting words in his ear hoping he’ll feel better

although the roaring thunder got more and more intense which didn't help harry at all he was shaking in my arms i had to find a way to distract him soon an idea popped in to my brain

"harry i'm gonna need you to lay on your back, i'm going to make you feel really good ok hazzy?" i asked softly waiting for his approval he slowly nodded then moved to lay on his back

"wait what are you going to do?" he asked for a 20 year old man he looked so innocent i could just smother him with hickeys and kisses 

"this" i said leaning down to press my lips against his swollen pink ones i can taste the salty tears on to my tongue, his breath hitched not expecting me to kiss him he instantly started kissing back his hand reach up to the back of my neck and pulled me down deepening the kiss and laying on him the more we kissed the more heated it got the covers being too hot and my clothes sticking to my body i pulled away breathlessly only to get out of the covers and take off my shirt harry stared at my nude chest even in the dark i could see his eyes darkening he reached up and started kissing my breasts licking them then he moved to my nipples flicking, sucking, nibbling which made me moan he darkly chuckled which sent shivers all over my body 

he kept nibbling my nipples until they were perky and raw then he moved to my collarbones as he sucked his teeth grazed my skin i moaned when he sucked harder i didn't mind getting hickeys from harry i loved that he marked me just as much as he loved it when i marked him his hands started roaming my body getting touchy feely his hands went down to my butt and he squeezed them i reaching my hands up to tangle my fingers in to his wild long brown curls he moaned when i tugged on them which sent butterflies in my stomach 

then he broke his pink plump lips away from my skin to catch his breath i pushed him gently back against the mattress so i was now in control (we always take turns being in control) i leaned down so i could press my lips to his sweet spot which was behind his ear i sucked on the flesh which made him a moaning mess underneath me then i licked the hickey i gave him and blew cool air on it making him whimper his hands tugged at my sweatpants signaling that he wanted it off i obeyed i leaned back so i could take my pants off while locking eyes with his, then i pulled his shirt off and began kissing the tattoos on his chest then his arms i went down and kissed his moth tattoo 

"baby please" he whispered breathlessly i looked up at him raising an eyebrow knowing what he wanted but i wanted to play along innocently to just to drive him nuts 

"what do you need hazzy?" i questioned smirking his dark green lust filled eyes darted to my bottom lip captured by my upper teeth

he groaned getting frustrated "you know what i want darling please its aching" he pleaded pouting to which i couldn't resist 

i nodded wordlessly before crawling down to his bottom half and pulling the sweats off of his hips he helped by lifting them up i dragged them down his long legs i threw them somewhere on the floor blindly then i looked back over to him his dark green eyes locking with mine still i leaned forward to peck his sinful lips then gazing down at his black boxers to see his visible bulge i licked my lips before slowly pulling them down he groan wanting me to go faster but of course i didn't listen i loved defying him 

once the boxers where off and long gone i took his length in my hand and began stroking him he puffed out air his abs clenching at my touch i then leaned down to lick his tip he panted throwing in another "please" he didn't have to say it twice i was already dragging my mouth down as far as i could go his large hands flew to my hair instantly tugging at the roots making me moan sending vibrations to his length he let out a loud groan which made me bob my head up and down 

"babyyy" he slurred dragging out the word i looked up at him his face flushed and sweaty his long brown hair drenched sticking to his face making him look sexy 

i popped off of him to answer him "what do you need bub? come on you can tell me" 

it took him a while to form words without having to catch his breath his chest raising and falling his hands had fallen to his sides gripping the sheets 

"i need you.... i need to be in you lauren please let me feel you" he breathed out his green eyes locking on to mine he bit his red swollen lip 

"i thought you'd never ask my love" i whispered grinning he smirked before raising up to grab me and flip us over so he was hovering over me 

he kissed my lips roughly our teeth clanking every now and then he slipped his tongue easily in to my mouth fighting with my own 

he eventually won he moved his hand down my body stopping above the waistband of my underwear his index finger circling the skin his lips were still pressed against my own so i sucked hard on his bottom lip making him shove his hand down my underwear and to my heated core i moaned once he lightly touched the nub he smirked against my lips he started slowly rubbing it 

my breathing was starting to get uneven as he kept a slow pace when i finally had enough i gripped on to his bicep making him look down at me 

"harry please no teasing" i grumbled trying to breath not in the mood for his teasing game i wanted-no wait i needed him i need to feel him kiss him anything its harder when hes on top and i’m underneath but thats how it usually went in the sheets 

he just smirked darkly before speaking in a raspy low tone "anything for you my dear" he lowered his head to my core his hot breath blowing on it making me squirm underneath him his matted curls tickling my thighs he pressed his lips to my nub before flicking it with his skillful tongue i groaned wanting him to do more my hands flew to his hair i gripped and tugged on the roughly causing him to moan loudly the vibrations sent so much pleasure to my core that i couldn't even breath correctly nor talk properly 

he began sucking on the nub while his tongue swirled it i was a moaning mess his free hand crept towards my entrance without any warning he plunge his long ringed fingers in to me i gasped for air as he fastened his pace while his mouth was still on my nub he altered between slow on my nub and fast with his fingers "mhmm so wet for me baby who made you this wet huh?" he mumbled against me i couldn't even form words 

when he didn't get an answer from me he harshly plunge a third finger in making me scream not expecting that the knot in my stomach building up tightly i knew i would be close if he didn’t stop 

"i said who makes you this wet" he growled his fingers going faster then before 

"y-you do harry! oh my god!" i choked out gripping his hair once more making him groan it sent me shaking violently i was so close to the edge that when i was i yelled i was climaxing he quickly removed his fingers out of me i looked up at him like he was crazy my blood boiling in my veins 

"harry! why'd you stop? i was almost there" i exclaimed yelling in frustration 

he only smirked shaking his head before answering "it was only a warm up darling, now its time to get in to the action" he said without warning he slammed his shaft in to me making me choke out a moan 

harry leaned forward and put his hands on the headboard making his thrusts go faster panting with each thrust as he looks down at our connected parts focusing on his rhythm he looked so beautiful with sweat glistening his smooth tanned skin all i could do was moan and gasp for air the feelings that he was giving me were undescribable the pleasures he was sending me were over the top mind numbing my hands crept down to his back i dragged my nails gently up his soft sweaty skin making him grunt his pace was still fast as a sports car when he started getting tired of this pace he started rolling his hips grinding on me making him go deeper and hitting that sweet spot that can make me explode in to a waterfall i started moaning louder screaming in ecstasy as he kept rolling his skillful hips, i was panting for breath the more he kept doing this the headboard was rocking against the wall surely waking up the neighbors his hand sneakily crept down to my swollen nub he started rubbing at fast speed making me shake and scream 

"ha-harry! i'm close! don't st-op oooh god!" i yelled out pinching my eyes closed as i grew closer and closer to my release 

"let it go baby let it all go you can do it come on lauren" harry rasped out groaning at his own words sweat shining on his sun kissed skin his curls falling in front of his face as he continued to thrust powerfully 

to help him get closer to his own release i grabbed his balls and squeezed them he gasped his breath hitching as he started shaking his thrusts becoming sloppy he was a moaning mess my free hand went up to his nipples and pinched it harshly knowing what t does to him he groaned loudly releasing in to me, me doing the same seconds after him harry then dropped on top of me breathing heavily our sweaty skin sticking to each other i ran my hand through his matted damp curls brushing them out of his face he slowly looked up at me a lazy smile painted across his angel face he leaned up and pecked me lips humming softly before resting his head on my chest listening to my rapid heartbeat 

"thank you" he quietly mumbled i smiled laying my hand on his back his hot breath fanning over my chest 

"for what?" i asked fluttering my eyes closed at feeling of his lips pecking my chest 

he lifted up his head again looking directly at me "for helping me it means a lot that you care so much about me, i know its childish to still be scared of thunderstorms and fireworks" he answered his voice getting deeper and raspier starting to get tired 

all i did was smile at him i wrapped my arms around his lengthy body 

"its not childish harry its apart of who you are, i'm still scared of clowns and the easter bunny" i confessed shuddering at the thought 

he chuckled lowly kissing my lips before snuggling in to the crook of my neck 

"how? its only a fluffy bunny that somebody dresses up for little kids" he asked teasing me while i whined 

"its not funny that thing scares me, have you seen those eyes?!" i exclaimed jokingly causing harry to laugh he has such a beautiful loud laugh he should do it more often 

"you should laugh more often its so beautiful" i said my voice getting sleepy as i start to close my eyes smiling lazily "and you should smile more often you have the most beautifulest smile i've ever seen" he insisted i could feel him smiling against me "as shall you my dear now lets sleep i'm sure its almost light out" "thats because of the fun we had" he chuckled "oh hush you loved it and you know it" i giggled "that i do darling that i do" he said yawning afterwards making me yawn as well we both chuckled "goodnight darling" night night hubby"

[wtfdavidsvlogs]

Isn’t it Lovely(D.D) Chapter 3

Warnings: floofy😋 couple swears here and there

Requested: See chapter 1

Plot: the reader and David meet and fall in love with each other instantly. One giant emotional roller coaster this is.

Chapter 1 2

Gif by: @vlogsquadfanatic

I literally could not wait another minute. My legs were hurting from bobbing them up and down. My finger nails had started to go back into my fingers from tapping them on my phone nervously. I laid my head back and turned to the left. The clock read 3:17PM. I groaned into a pillow and laid down. Seconds go by, minutes, an hour, three, and I can finally start getting ready. I applied a natural eye look and did my hair in a long side braid. Some pieces pulled to shape my face. I was going to an Italian restaurant with him so I wanted to be fancy. I started looking through my wardrobe. Now that I look at it, everything in here looks disgusting. I scoff and scuffle through all of the ugly clothing that I had to choose from. I yell out loud.

“LEEEEXXXXIIIIII!” I scream.

“WHAAT!” She yells back angrily.

“GET YOUR ASS IN HERE AND HELP ME PICK OUT WHAT TO WEAR!” I yell with the same amount of annoyance. She groans and her stomps start to grow louder and closer to my room. She opens the door and she walks in a bit more amped because of the circumstance. She looks at everything and she inpects closely. She would occasionally shake her head or turn it to the side for a maybe. Until she got to a dress. She took it out of my closet and held it up to my body. She smiled and nodded slowly. (this is the dress. obvi)

“Thank you.” I smiled and hugged her. She hugged me back.

“No problem, hun.” She patted me and left my room. Leaving me to my own devices. I start to strip myself of the days clothing and I slipped on the stunning 50’s style red dress that Lexi picked out for me. I have always loved the poodle skirt 50’s vibe. So I got this dress because of it. I have just never had the correct occasion to show it off. I finally do now. I look at myself in the mirror and I smile. I love the way I look. Will he?

I slipped into a pair of black heels and stepped out of my room. I see Lexi sitting on the couch watching something on her phone. I walk further towards her as she hears my footsteps she looks up. She drops her phone brings her hands to her face.

“Girl you look stunning!” She said pulling on her hair. She looked so amazed by me. I blush and look down giggling slightly.

“Dude he is going to go bat shit crazy over you!” She whisper yells. I laugh and smile wide. I pick up my phone and the time reads 6:55. I tell Lexi that it’s time and I walk towards the door grabbing my keys and purse. I hang the strap over my shoulder and the bag hangs at my hip. I walk out the front door and over to David’s apartment. I raise my hand to knock but hesitate slightly before tapping my knuckle three times on the hollow wooden door. I can hear laughing and shushing. Someone’s footsteps come closer to the door at a fast pace. The door swings open violently I look inside to see about 10 people sitting on a couch and a strange white guy with a dew rag on his head. I laugh and walk inside slowly. The man closes the door and guides me inside. There were 4 girls and 6 guys there not including David who wasn’t here. A girl with bright red hair, a girl with obvious lip injections but still very pretty, a woman that seemed about her thirties with implants everywhere (not a bad thing btw), a short girl with really long curly brown and blonde hair. The guys were the all of the people I saw with David when we first met. One of them had this fuckboy vibe to him, another was a grown man, the one that answered the door, one guy with bright blue hair with dreads, one guy that looked just unbelievably angry at everything, and another with curly brown hair. I stood at the end of the hall looking at this mass of people.

“Hi, I’m Caroline.” I waved and they all stood up smiling and coming over to hug me. The girls calling me adorable the fuck boy calling me hot. I shook a lot of hands and met a lot of people. I laughed and sat down with them.

“So why are you dressed so nice?” Brandon asked me crossing his arms. Not menacingly but probably out of confusion. I realize now they probably have absolutely no clue why I am here.

“Oh, yeah I probably should have said what I am even doing here. I’m going on a date with David.” They all opened their mouths and said oooh collectively. I was surprised as to the fact they all were expecting me.

“Why the sudden realization?” I said confused but laughing.

“You’re the girl he won’t shut up about.” Trisha says. I smile and look down.

“No really ever since the night we all met you for the first time he has not stopped talking about you.” Jason said with his arm around Trisha. I look at him and chuckle. I guess he does feel the way I do. I suddenly hear foot steps behind me and I can hear his voice panicked.

“Is this good? What if it doesn’t match what she’s wearing?...Guys?!” He says. I stand up and turn around. He looks at me dead in the eyes. He is dressed in black. A button up with the top button loose. Black pants and shoes. Black jacket and a splash of color to spice it up. A red tie. Exactly the same color as my dress. I look at him a smile with sugar laced in my gaze. I wanted to kiss him right then and there. I could feel his eyes looking at every part of me not wanting to miss a thing. (GIF)

David Pov

xxxxxx

I step out to see everyone talking to a girl that I can’t see. Dressed in red. I ask.

“Is this good? What if it doesn’t match what she’s wearing?...Guys?!” The girl stands and twirls around making her dress fly in a flowing circle. It was like time a had slowed and I couldn’t see anything but her. Y/N standing in a dress that would make the angels sing. A smile brighter than the sun blesses her face and I smile along with her. She looked at me with this adorablely perfect look in her eyes that I just couldn’t describe. All I wanted to do was kiss her. To feel her. To be with her always.

“Hi” I say with and exasperated sigh of adoration. She giggles. Oh her giggle. It could literally make me cry.

“You look...just...like...” I was stuttering at what to say that didn’t sound so unbelievably creepy.

“So you have rendered this man speechless.” Jason said making Y/N laugh. Along with everyone else. I fake laughed and made a throat cutting signal at him when she turned around. She turned back around and I smiled again.

“You look absolutely, ridiculously beautiful Y/N.” I said to her while looking down into her eyes. I towered over her small body. Maybe by at least 8 inches. It was adorable. She is adorable. Even in heels that were supposed to increase her height made no comparison. She looked up at me with this smile that just makes my heart melt. Every time I see her I notice something even more beautiful about her. I realize that we are now just kind of standing here awkwardly with all of my friends watching us. I snap out of my haze and grab her hands delicately. Her hands were practically half the size of mine.

“Are you ready to go?” I ask her calmly almost a whisper. She nods and grips my hands harder. I walk her to the front door and tell her to wait outside. Claiming ‘I forgot something’. I jog back to everyone.

“If I find out any of you said something rude or offensive to that beautiful woman out there, aka Todd, I’ll kill you.” I say pointing at him. I walk back to her outside and we walk toward my car. It’s just us now.

Thanks for reading chapter 3. Sorry I haven’t been posting very consistently I have been like clinically sick the past couple days but I hope you are all liking this story so far. I’m bringing out my inner shakespeare.❤️🔆

[thedogsled]

14x01 et tu, Beyonce?

No immediate ep review from me, because honestly there were things I liked but it’s going to take another viewing or two to get over my general disappointment and pull them out of the text. Nevermind, this turned into an ep review.

Follow the read more for the whole minirant.

The way I see it is this: they want to take the episode in an unexpected way (and possibly mirror season 6, like @naruhearts was saying the other day), so we are back to souped up supermonsters as a plotline, and, look, between the Leviathan and the whole Jefferson Starships thing I don’t know how I feel about that yet. 

But most of all I feel like in order to accomplish some of the things they laid out in this episode, they just threw a whole lot of preexisting canon out, and when shows do that, they’re conceiving that the finished product outweighs the need to stick to canon. i.e. Wouldn’t it be SO COOL if we brought Gabriel back, we’ve never brought him back before. Well okay, how will we come up with a way to bring him back without altering canon too much. Well okay, the fans had this awesome theory, we could do something with that. FINE.

The issue comes here I think in that they wanted to do these things specifically: set up the vampire thing, get Jo working with TFW somehow, show how deep in a hole Cas is (fail btw), have Sam do his sparkly moment with the ‘There will be no King of Hell’, that sort of stuff. Oh. And give Mark P something to do because FANS LOVE HIM. Or something.

But none of those things were worth it. (Maybe Sam.)

None of those things were worth destroying established canon to achieve. None of those things were worth making characters look stupid to achieve.

Angel theories broken: Angels can see demons true faces The vessel once destroyed allows the dead soul inside to go to its final destination. Lucifer’s vessel isn’t a real vessel it’s a mock up (already contrived). Archangels (and angels) burn out the people they possess. Angel blades kill the host as well as the angel. (And don’t even get me started on the archangel blade existing in the first place). Cas just don’t got the juice any more. Ever. He talks the talk, but then he what the fucks the rest of it. Oh and everyone has a pair of angel restraining cuffs, because WHEN DID THOSE HAPPEN? Like, I literally can’t remember when angel restraining cuffs became a thing. They just started happening nbd. But demons have them.

So just. If one of those things had happened to move the plot along, fine. But all of them? ALL of them? And Michael’s WEIRD motivational alignment? Like. I am giving it a break because I KNOW it has to pick up from where season 13 left off and that was an unenviable starting point, but I just.

Other things that were frustrating: why were there odd sound effects and directing choices in the fight scene? Why was Cas such a wet blanket?Kip the demon--he was rubbish. Sam already knew he didn’t have to fight him, that his demon followers would chicken out, it was just set up that way. Why did we see an angel from an angel’s POV for the first time ever? Why was Cas such a wet blanket? Why can’t people use their words, like seriously Cas, anyone with half a brain knows Jack is going to do something stupid since you had to get out the door before you ran out of time on screen. What the fuck, Cas? What the fuck?

No but. I’m sure I’m going to like bits of it when I watch again. The finale wasn’t so bad watching it again before the new ep showed. (sound of glass breaking) and I will let this one settle down a little. I just wish there wasn’t so much I’m mad at. Castiel’s issues and Nick would be HUGE all on their own, they’ve bad, and contrived just because they a) don’t know how to keep Cas from being OP without literally tying him down and b) have to keep Mark around because of audience feedback (how about the sound of me grinding my fucking teeth, CW?) But it’s the lore problems, ultimately, that really have me down.

The destruction of canon for the sake of a contrived plot is BAD SHOWWRITING especially with a series like this where the whole universe relies on the established lore. Lore IS the show, and to forget that in order to take the plot in an “unexpected” direction does a huge disservice to fans, and makes you look like an awful writer. I would rather move in a predictable direction and stay true to canon than change everything and take you somewhere you don’t want to know.

It’s like that game that Joey is going to be the host of in Friends, Bamboozled, except that the nonsensical rules of the game do actually make sense when you get to the bottom of it. There’s no sense to be made here. It just gets more and more tossed around like an old chew toy until the original lore is pointless and sticking to it makes no sense so why bother, right?

But lore is the show. Lore is why ghosts hate iron and demons get burned by holy water and angels need to be killed with angel blades. Lore is the rules by which everything else makes sense, and a good writer can tell a good story within those rules. It’s not like it’s a mystery or a challenge, that’s precisely what a lot of us as fanfiction writers DO. All the time! So is it so much to ask from the people who actually make the show? I don’t think so. And I resent someone changing the rules on me constantly just so they can stroke Mark P’s ego, or bring back a character who they’re only going to kill again in two episodes anyway. It’s tiring. I’m tired of it. And shame on you, Dabb, for playing the Bucklemming game here. You’re the one who should be holding the ship together, not conspiring to help it spin further apart!

Most of all, though, starting out on this footing is an issue, because it implies that all bets are off, and the writers (and showrunner, remember), will do whatever they want to tell the story they want to tell, and rules of the universe be damned. We’re already likely to get 1/4 of the eps this season written by BL, isn’t that enough destructive power? It doesn’t fill me with a lot of hope that things will shape up, and overall, it was a bad start for me.

Maybe I’ll feel different about it tomorrow. This is usually a positive blog (unless Bob Singer wrote it), so... Don’t give up on me just yet. I’m feeling a bit bruised and battered for now, though.

[cyberstabbing]

not frerard

Gen

well. shit. - an asshole!mcr ficlet disguised as a desolation row au….. it’s just an excuse to write the boys as jerks. 0.7k

The Year of Living Safely - Post-sobriety MCR. This is as much about me and my own brother as it is about the Way boys, and Christ was it hard to write; it brought a lot of painful things to the surface. 12k

painful but worth a read. or ten.

also, there’s some background one-sided frerard, but very low-key. and i repeat: one-sided.

​​Now With More Cowbell - Hermes - trickster god first and foremost, the patron saint of robbers and thieves, of conmen and rockstars. He’ll go to bat for you if you make him laugh or if he likes your style, or if you have an offering that tickles his fancy (he’s fond of stuffed animals, cigarettes, and ugly puppies, just as an FYI).

One of his godly duties is to guide souls to the underworld, lead them into their personal version of the afterlife, though maybe some people he doesn’t like get lost along the way. He’s not too great with messages, either, to be honest. 0.5k

Not a Pretty Girl - 28k

Gen. Always-been-a-girl fic featuring kick ass female drummer, Bob Bryar. The story is a series of shorter fics all about her life before MCR, growing up as a woman in the Chicago scene, touring with The Used, joining MCR and everything that comes with that. It's awesome. + art!

The Year of Living Safely - Post-sobriety MCR. This is as much about me and my own brother as it is about the Way boys, and Christ was it hard to write; it brought a lot of painful things to the surface. 12k

Incredibly painful but worth a read. Or ten. Does have one-sided Frank/Gerard (mentioned).

Away With The Boys In The Band - Behind the Music: My Chemical Romance, in the world where Mikey has always been a girl. 69k

Ship(s): Mikey Way/Otter, Mikey Way/Gabe Saporta, Mikey Way/Pete Wentz, Mikey Way/Alicia Simmons

^ I could not put this down. The writing is so so so spectacular, and the dialog is both interesting and realistic. A lot of angst, but still hilarious at parts. Please read. Putting this under both Gen and Other ships because whilst it doesn’t focus on a specific pairing Mikey’s relationships are brought up, just like all the other parts of her life are.

Update because I need to add some things: Listen! Words can not express how obsessed with this fic I am. I made a mixtape for it. Fanart. Currently working on a ebook version of it so I can print it out. Guys. You do not understand how fucking fantastic this fic is. Don’t scroll away from me, I’m serious! Fucking click the link dammit. Click it. C’mon. I’m waiting–click iiiiit. You back yet? Yeah? What did I tell you! I know, it is amazing! You okay? Got tissues? Good. Okay now go wash your face and eat a snack. No, no, no need to thank me, the pleasure was all mine.

Life on the Fashion Scene - This season of Project Runway becomes infamous for reasons beyond the quirks of the designers, Matt P.'s ousting, Pete's apparently crippling co-dependence on Patrick, and the rumored trysts between Mikey and Pete spawned by their formation of the Sweet Little Dudes Club (and the resulting matching t-shirts). 6k

Oh my god. Oh my. God. See, when I first saw the description I just started laughing hysterically. And then I started reading the first paragraph, just to see how ridiculous it would be. But I couldn’t put it down. So I read the entire thing, got way to invested, and now I’m begging strangers on the internet to read it. ...Please do!!!

Rappelling Down Mount Vesuvius - 1k | Gen

I love reading little snippets of their lives like this. Just the right amount of fluff and backstory for something bittersweet and hopeful.

Other ships

Away With The Boys In The Band - Behind the Music: My Chemical Romance, in the world where Mikey has always been a girl. 69k

^ I could not put this down. The writing is so so so spectacular, and the dialog is both interesting and realistic. A lot of angst, but still hilarious at parts. Please read. Putting this under both Gen and Other ships because whilst it doesn’t focus on a specific pairing Mikey’s relationships are brought up, just like all the other parts of her life are.

Ships: Mikey Way/Otter, Mikey Way/Gabe Saporta, Mikey Way/Pete Wentz, Mikey Way/Alicia Simmons

Thank You For The - Just an alien in New Jersey, looking for a mate. 0.5k

"Have fun," Gerard said, even though he'd just told Mikey he couldn't have fun because he needed to be careful. Mikey wished his venom sacs were fully developed. He would spit on Gerard's shoes.

Ship: Gabe Saporta/Mikey Way

Not Smashing Windows - In the beginning, they were the scene. An origin story. 32k

From Gabe’s POV, and it’s done flawlessly. It somehow emulates the same feeling one gets from stumbling across an overlooked short film at three a.m. on youtube. The one you can’t help but wonder about, how it is that you’ve never heard about it before. Like it is in its own bubble of existence. Feeling afraid to even breathe or look away, afraid that it’ll disappear at any time, that it was too good to be true. Something you shouldn’t be able to hold in your hands. This fic feels incredibly personal to read. Gabe’s longings of intimacy, the hopelessness at parts. I could feel my fondness for the characters grow enormously in this fic. 

The wording and conversations and scenes paint a brilliant picture that will stay with you for a long time. I know it will for me at least. 

Ship: Gabe Saporta/Mikey Way

Reaching Through The Mirror - The one where Party Poison and Basement!Gerard have sex. 5k

(part one of Time Travel ‘verse)

Ship: Gerard Way/Gerard Way

James Cameron Got It Wrong - In which 2005!Frank and Fun Ghoul get it on. Then Frank accidentally winds up in 2019. 56k

(part two of Time Travel ‘verse)

Ship: Frank Iero/Frank Iero

Put Your Mouth Over The Stupid Things We're Taught We Ought To Say - Gabe wakes up drunk, holding on to the bed for dear life and hoping he's not about to die. He's had nightmares about that, lately. Waking up confused and disoriented and then a few minutes later, dead. Sometimes there's symbolism and shit. 5k

Ship: Gabe Saporta/Mikey Way

00.06 - '4 and 14 adopt a newborn baby together. What do they name it, how do they raise it, etc, etc. Do they eventually get it siblings? Do they ditch it in a dumpster on prom night because its not as fun as they thought?’

THIS IS QUITE LITERALLY THE WEIRDEST THING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN. And yet, I am oddly charmed by it. 2k

oh my god. it was hilarious. Ship: Gerard Way/James Potter

Code Red - In the fall out of a fire fight, Party Poison goes looking for medicine, and finds pretty much the exact opposite of that. 2k

Ship: Korse/Party Poison

Frank/Gabe pr0n - "I need you to go to a party with me tonight."  Frank blinked and looked up at Mikey, frowning. "What?" 2k maybe

Ship: Frank/Gabe

Workplace Appropriate Attire - Korse is a creepy boyfriend. 1k

This was fun to read, but some lines made me go OH SHIT, because ...... well if you read this you will know what I’m talking about.

Ship(s): Korse/Party Poison

love on the webways - As a writer, Grant supposes he could have considerably worse habits than trolling his own message boards. 

A totally ridiculous AU vaguely inspired by You've Got Mail. 32k

This was so fun to read! It’s a what-if-they-broke-up-after-tbp fic btw.

Ship: Grant/Gerard

We Got Machines - There are questions on the lips of everyone with eyes or money on the arena. Who is this kid? Where’d he come from? Who trained him? BLind’s got no records on him, meaning he’s a Zonebrat returning to the grasp of the city of his own volition. Another anomaly. That a 16 year old nobody could waltz in out of nowhere and turn the system on its head is... concerning to BLind. <1k Part 1 of KJ/Griefers 'verse (3.5k in total)

Ship: Deadmau5/G3rard

xoxoxoxo - Party Poison wakes up somewhere he's never been - but there's plenty that's familiar here. 1k

Ship: Party Poison/Korse

​I'll Repair For You (When The Roof Starts To Fall) - When Gerard inherits a house in Scotland from a distant relative, he doesn't expect to have to spend quite so much time at the hardware store. He also doesn't expect to fall in love with the tiny little village or with one of his neighbors...who just happens to be Grant Morrison. 17k

Ship: Grant/Gerard

In Firmer Chains, Our Hearts Confine - Former musical composer and current writer Gerard Way is a sensation of the musical and literary scenes of 1800s London. But after struggling for ages with his new book, he’s close to giving up. Until he receives an offer from Grant Morrison himself; to go to his manor in Scotland and work on his novel in peace. Gerard seizes upon the chance immediately. Grant, however, has a dark secret he’s desperately trying to keep hidden. And Gerard has a few of his own. 37k

Picture me, casually stumbling upon this fic one late night. Historical? Check. An AU but Gerard’s talents are still appreciated and encouraged, and he makes a name for himself? Double check. Grant Morrison? Check. Gerard and Grant’s dark secrets? CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK

Me: *already fucking shaking from excitement, now glancing up at the tags* Enter the tag Alternate Universe - Vampire. Queue foaming at the mouth.

This fic was so fucking awesome in so many ways I don’t even know where to begin. The slow and suspenseful unraveling of secrets and mysteries. The numerous parallels drawn between the AU and real life events of the people in it, and that the author made sure that they all worked within the AU without a hitch. All the actions and ambitions of the people in it that somehow managed to balance masterfully on the fine line between what’s canon and what’s realistic for that time period.

Fuck, lurkers guys. I’m not sure if my word-vomiting even gets anyone to read fic on my list, but for the sake of this fic (and my ego sdkjlskldhfklf) I ask anyone reading this to p l  e a s e read it. For your own sake. And mine. Because I need to yell about this fic with somebody, STAT.

Ships: Gerard/Grant, and very, I repeat, VERY low-key Frank/Mikey

Looking for Satellites - Galaxy-hopping alien trader Gerard has business on space station Perseus Four. Getting to know station administrator Grant is a nice bonus. 25k

Gerard is a sexy, telepathic and open minded (heh) alien and it’s great.

Ship: Gerard/Grant

Candle on the Drawer - No one thinks your hands being funny colors is weird when you go to art school. Probably about 1-3k

“So, okay. Gerard maybe has a drawer full of candles in every color of the rainbow. It’s kind of weird, yeah, but it’s not like anyone ever goes digging in his drawers so it’s not something he really feels the need to hide. How was he supposed to know that Gabe was going to go digging in drawers for whatever reason? How was he supposed to know Gabe was going to be in his room at all? He’s more Mikey’s friend.”

Gerard is into waxplay!

Ship: Gerard/Gabe

the only hope for me - Korse has never been one to show his emotions. 1k

Ship: Korse/Party Poison

your kicks don't hit, so we remain the same - a battery city ambush goes somewhat wrong. 0.8k

Ship: Korse/Party Poison

Methane Skies - Run, run, bunny, run. 3k

Hot damn this is some creepy and suspenseful stuff.

Ship: (implied) Korse/Party Poison

All the Broken Pieces (Keep Cool, Stay Tough) - Up until that fateful night, Frank’s had a pretty decent life. But everything’s changed and now he’s got to figure out how to be himself again. With the help of some really groovy friends, Peppers, and his never-give-up attitude, Frank gonna get there. He’s sure of it. 39k

There’s this spectacular scene involving an escalator and Frank making a grand entrance that immediately pops into my head when I think of this fic.

Description by babylynz: OH MY FUCKING GOD OKAY, THIS IS A FRIKEY FIC BUT IT’S SO FUCKIGN GOODJDDJDHHHGHG

basically Frank gets in an accident that leaves him unable to walk and it’s a really emotional kinda story (but like .. Idk, it’s lighthearted) about him getting used to everyday life again and he meets Mikey online and they bond over really shitty movies and they meet up and AHH!!! Also Ray is like …. a ,,,, what is it …… He helps Frank get used to having sex again after the accident? He’s one of his therapists idk it’s a really good story, read it.

Ship: Frank Iero/Mikey way

And the Painted Ponies - After years of struggling to be taken seriously as a bodyguard, Frank Iero is finally well established. He loves his boss, Ray, he loves his job, and he prides himself on his professionalism. But then he's assigned to be the personal bodyguard of Mikey Way.

Mikey Way, aka Roboboy, is a successful high fashion model. Loved by designers and the public alike for his trademark lack of emotion, but mocked by the tabloid press for the exact same reason. Mikey is someone that Frank's sure he'll hate. Except it doesn't work out that way.

In fact, it doesn't take long before Frank discovers he really likes Mikey. Maybe too much. 34k

Ship: Frank Iero/Mikey way

mutilate, maim and destroy (just a tad) - For clarification, this fic is about Gerard Way the actual person being tortured by Korse in the Killjoys universe. Like. Hnng, you'll see nevermind.

Ship: Gerard/Korse

Your Dirty Smile Shames the Sun - Pancakes, throat fucking, and a good book. It's kind of Mikey's idea of a perfect day. 6k

Ship: Mikey/Frank

london calling - Gerard feels like his life needs to change, so he moves to London. After years of hard work, he gets a book deal with a press that will finally allow him to write exactly the book he's always wanted to write. When he meets his new editor, Grant Morrison, he's surprised at how much they get along. 28k

Ship: Grant/Gerard

A Room Full Of Suicides - His jaw was clenched and his whole body quivering. He looked right at Korse with those huge, transparent eyes. “Do what you want to me. I don’t give a shit, Korse.” He drew in a breath that shook. “You wouldn’t understand. It’s about standing up for what you believe in.” God, the kid was adorable. Korse couldn’t wait to make him scream. 4

Ship: Korse/Party Poison, Fun Ghoul/Party Poison (implied)

For a Different View - AU. Ray Toro is a girl, Rae, but MCR is still just MCR. 49k

The first time they went over to Mikey’s house, Mikey tossed her a beer and said, "My brother might come up. Maybe not, though. He gets weird in the middle of projects.” She found out what he meant halfway through Dawn of the Dead, when a bundle of black fabric barreled from the basement door to the refrigerator and back down to the basement without saying a word to either of them.

I need to finish this!!! But –gah. Such awesome awesomeness.

Ship: Ray/Mikey

From The Corner to The Block - A bike messenger AU. 4k

The comment I left: Oh my god. An AU I never knew I wanted but one I now cannot live without. That was incredibly cute!!

“What are you watching? Is that Degrassi?”

“No,” Frank says quickly, just as a voiceover blares, “Degrassi: The Next Generation will be right back,” because this is Frank’s life.

^ I’m pretty sure my laughter from that line woke up at least one person from my household. Poor Frank.

Ship: Frank/Mikey

Out Where The Sand's Turning To Gold - "Last call, last song," the singer says, touching a finger to the microphone and making it pop softly at the crowd. "For all you lovers out there." 5k

Ship: Gerard/Gabe

Superheroes (2-part series) - Mikey isn’t a superhero. 3k

Ship: Frank/Mikey

vampires will never hurt you - Contrary to what some people in Strahd might think, Bert’s not a fucking idiot. Contrary to what Gerard and Frank might think, Bert’s not a fucking idiot.

Ever since this whole thing started, ever since Gerard and Frank cornered him at the open mic event at his junior college shortly after he decided to go and open his big damn mouth about that picture he’d found in the History of Strahd book that was collecting dust in the back of the library, the picture in which both Gerard and Frank were clearly present, dressed in typical 19th century garb, giving their best vampire smolder--Yeah. Bert has known ever since then, and ever since they had told him how talented of a poet he was, and that they were interested in having him perform at the parties they host for all the town’s leaders up at their old mansion on the hill, that they have had some type of secret agenda as their endgame.

He just hadn’t really expected it to be this.

[this is what happens when i get tired of bert being the bad guy in mcr fic and decide i have to do EVERYTHING myself] 1k

Ship: Frank Iero/Bert McCracken/Gerard Way

Candy Cane Vodka - "Yeah, Mikey, you accidentally made fucking peppermint Everclear. Congratulations and all, but Jesus Christ."

Mikey gets an idea on the road after finding a bargain bin book on homemade infusions. Experimentation follows, and Yuletide chaos ensues. 

ngl... i’m tempted to make that vodka mixture

Ships: Mikey/Ray, Frank/Gerard

drive-by drabble - SO SHORT ALSO LMAO <1k

Ship: Frank/Gabe/Gerard