#oh boy oh man oh jeez here we go

[lizmitches]

okay so if you look here you’ll see that carla is lisa’s guard dog, right, and somewhere along the line betsy has become carla’s guard dog. now carla and lisa are BOTH betsy’s guard dogs. so! if you divide by two and carry the one you end up with a little fambily that goes around biting people and

[grimbluesins]

WILD KRATTS SHAPESHIFTER AU

THE KRATT BROTHERS

============

Maerrtín is the older of the Kratt brothers. He likes the color blue because it reminds him of the ocean. He adores aquatic creatures and loves swimming and diving through the clearest waters he can find. He also enjoys reading and writing, and he keeps careful records of every creature he sees so he’s always able to turn into nearly anything he wants. He keeps a giant book in his bag that he wants to turn into a massive compendium of every creature on the planet (a little ambitious, but why not?)

When he’s in disguise as a human, he’s Martin Kratt, a zoologist who goes around taking pictures and notes of different animals. He’s happy to give out information about certain animals and likes learning about every creature he can find.

Krrhies is the younger of the brothers, and also the less cautious. He’s often seen swinging or jumping through the treetops, climbing steep cliffsides, or performing incredible acrobatic feats. He likes green the most because he loves the natural shades of the woodlands. He really likes flying both over and under the leafy canopies, so he’s usually seen as some kind of bird or flying mammal. However, he also likes running really quickly, and he’ll sometimes become mammals. He has a tendency to try and eat every cool plant, flower, or wild berry he can see (even if it’s extremely toxic).

When disguised as a human, he’s the excitable Chris Kratt, a zoologist who runs little experiments and takes on the more hands-on parts of the science. He prefers to observe and report while Martin takes the notes. Chris has a special little passion for magical creatures, who are incredibly strange and little-seen animals like unicorns, chimeras, and even dragons.

This duo is determined to find their forms together while staying alive (Martin) and causing as much chaos as possible (Chris). Martin’s anxiety about being discovered strongly rivals Chris’s confidence that they’ll just “become the cool outlaws that will change the status quo.” They’re a little strange, but they can’t live without each other by their side. And damn it, even in their true forms, they’ll still stay close together, right?

[sharlsworld]

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆ horn dog - 𝐂𝐒𝟓𝟓 ⚘

（ 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝗅𝗈𝗌 𝗌𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗓 𝗑 𝗐𝗂𝖿𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 ）

（ 𝗌𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒 ）𝖼𝖺𝗋𝗅𝗈𝗌 𝗌𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗓 𝗂𝗌 𝖺 𝗅𝗈𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌．𝗁𝖾𝗌 𝖺 𝗌𝗈𝗇，𝗁𝗎𝗌𝖻𝖺𝗇𝖽，𝖿𝖺𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋．．．𝗁𝗈𝗋𝗇𝗒

🝮

carlossainz55

liked by pierregasly and 2,184,643 others

carlossainz55 I went golfing with Lando

charles_leclerc Very nice thank you for sharing with the class Carlos

yn yeah and he asked me to pack them lunch & cut the crusts off their sandwiches

⤷ landonorris what can i say? i’m a man who knows what he wants 🤷‍♂️

⤷ yn you cried and locked yourself in the bathroom when a bee landed on your shoulder last week

⤷ landonorris hey. it was a wasp alright

⤷ yn yes yes very manly

carlando y/n is so over this bromance

maxverstappen1 Very much hurt that I wasn’t invited.

⤷ yn the last time we went golfing the club flew out of your hands before you even touched the ball

⤷ maxverstappen1 Why am I catching strays?? 😨

yn cute. the hat, not you guys

⤷ carlossainz55 I love you too baby ❤️

⤷ yn get home now

⤷ carlossainz55 Yes ma’am

⤷ oscarpiastri Walk em like a dog sis walk em like a dog 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

⤷ carlossainz55 Don’t make me block you again

⤷ oscarpiastri Again?

🝮

carlossainz55

liked by fernandoalo_oficial and 3,379,802 others

carlossainz55 Date night with my one and only ❤️

georgerussell63 Oh jeez here comes baby #3. Brace yourselves everyone

danielricciardo Okay who let them out for dinner unsupervised?

scuderiaferrari Betting 500$ that it’s gonna be another boy.

⤷ mclaren Get your money in order.

⤷ f1 This is inappropriate behavior. Jk I’m betting on another boy

⤷ carlossainz55 ??

⤷ f1 And if I said twins then what?

⤷ carlossainz55 ???????

landonorris be expecting a pregnancy reveal in about 3 weeks everyone.

⤷ yn well just fuck me then i guess

⤷ carlossainz55 I did?

charles_leclerc Leave that poor girl alone Carlos goodness gracious

pierregasly Lets keep this PG carlos

⤷ carlossainz55 You cannot be talking

⤷ pierregasly You right you right 🐶

alex_albon you dirty dog 😏

⤷ georgerussell63 No. Not the vibes

⤷ alex_albon oh…

alex_albon is anyone else getting hot? 🌶️🥵

⤷ georgerussell63 Just stop trying. It’s getting sad

⤷ alex_albon alright then!

🝮

yn

liked by sunisalee and 7,826,917 others

yn 💌

landonorris wait a damn minute

georgerussell63 Very confuzzled

pierregasly Teach me your ways Carlos

alex_albon does bro have super sperm??

landonorris your already pregnant??

⤷ yn BEEN 😇 that picture carlos posted was from 4 months ago

⤷ landonorris i feel very betrayed right now

⤷ landonorris THIS IS WHY WE HAVENT BEEN HANGING OUT? 💔💔

⤷ yn well we can hangout now

⤷ landonorris ok i’m coming over

♥︎ by author

lewishamilton Congratulations you two!! I’m so happy for you guys 💙

alexandrasaintmleux Hardest secret to keep 😫 So happy we can finally have our shopping dates back

⤷ carlossainz I’m not. You guys go out everyday

francisca.cgomes cutest ever 🥹🥹 i’m so excited for baby sainz #3 <33

lilymhe Hottest mommy 😉🩷 i love u all

carmenmmundt Congratulations pretty lady I’m so happy for you and your family 🩵

charles_leclerc HAHAHAH I’VE KNOWN SINCE DAY 1 YOURE ALL LOSERS

landonorris CHARLES AND ALEX KNEW ME BEFORE ME?!?!?!? CHARLES IS SUCH A BIG MOUTH THOUGH

5 minutes ago

landonorris i’m turing around right now. i just need a minute to process this.

5 minutes ago

landonorris ok i’ve processed this i’m standing outside open the door

4 minutes ago

🝮

carlossainz55

liked by georgerussell63 and 1,174,823 others

carlossainz55 The past week

alex_albon big back big back, carlos ate all the big mac’s 😍🌶️🥵😇

⤷ georgerussell63 Alex please

yn oooh hey fattie 🫶🏽

⤷ carlossainz55 Hello baby 😘❤️

francisca.cgomes baby emilio 🩵🩵

charles_leclerc I think carlos jr jr and emilio want to have another sleepover with leo and uncle charlie 😇

landonorris yum 😋 not the pizza, you 😉

scuderiaferrari Our favorite family ❤️

⤷ yn clearly not

⤷ yn who said that?

alexandrasaintmleux This is the most unaesthetic post I’ve ever seen

⤷ carlossainz55 Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today

⤷ carlossainz55 Hold on are you saying my wife isn’t aesthetic?? And my son?? How dare you

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux No y/n and emilio are always aesthetic I’m saying you don’t know how to put the right pictures together

⤷ carlossainz55 I don’t want to hear it

lilymhe only here for my girl and the babies

⤷ carlossainz55 You’re girl??

⤷ lilymhe yes MY girl 😂

⤷ charlos4eva carlos is always fighting for his life in the comments

hoeforsainzzz y/n still being salty is so real

all4lando what i would do to be that piece of pizza isn’t okay 😫😫

operationsainz55 i’ve missed lando always being with them 🥹

sharls_leclercussy baby emilio appearance!! now we need baby los

georgerussell63 Emilio did NOT want to hand that flower over

⤷ alex_albon “emy just pretend like your giving me the flower okay?”

⤷ carlossainz55 You two are the BIGGEST haters I know. BIGGEST if yk what I mean 🐽🐽

⤷ georgerussell63 What are you trying to say Carlos?

⤷ carlossainz55 I’m say you guys are fatties, might wanna cut back on the drinks, you girls are getting beer bellies

⤷ georgerussell63 How dare you, you bastard. I do not drink beer.

charles_leclerc Biggie & biggie jr ❤️

🝮

yn

liked by meretmanon and 2,234,890 others

yn i love you nyc

alexandrasaintmleux We need a girls trip to nyc

⤷ yn omg yes i’m already writing ideas in my notes app

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux Already making a mood board

⤷ carlossainz55 We’ll be back in December everyone

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux we?

⤷ yn as in me and alex?

⤷ carlossainz55 Wow

⤷ charles_leclerc Wow

landonorris me and the boys just got done absolutely demolishing some dino nuggets

⤷ yn that sounds very fun lando thank you for sharing with us

⤷ alex_albon they left you guys at the hotel? 😭

⤷ landonorris no they shipped me and the babies back to monaco to have some “alone time” if yk what i mean

⤷ georgerussell63 The baby doesn’t get hurt?

⤷ maxverstappen1 I don’t think it’s big enough to reach 😂

⤷ carlossainz55 Excuse me? I’ll let you know that I have bruised her cervix many times

⤷ landonorris Carlos sainz are you saying your saying you rough up your wife? 🫢 you dirty dog

⤷ alex_albon oh so he can say it but not me?

⤷ carlossainz55 What can I say she likes it that way

⤷ georgerussell63 You don’t need to be big to bruise someone’s cervix

⤷ carlossainz55 Tell that to her belly bulge

⤷ alex_albon and how would you know that George Russell? 🤨

⤷ georgerussell63 Google ho 🤣

⤷ oscarpiastri who is this DIVA💜

⤷ lewishamilton Wow sometimes I forget your not a middle aged man

⤷ oscarpiastri Like you? 🤣🤣 might be time to hang up the helmet old man💀 and rookie Alonso

⤷ fernandoalo_oficial What he say fuck me for??

⤷ yn idk leave me alone

scuderiaferrari Hope you all are having the best time in NYC ❤️

⤷ mclaren Read the fucking room?

⤷ redbullracing Ooh someone took the lead and don’t know how to act 🙄

⤷ mercedesamgf1 I HATE YOU ALL

⤷ f1 ho is u coo?

🝮

landonorris

liked by pierregasly and 1,121,672 others

landonorris life as a single mom

BEING A MOM IS A JOB TO GUYS!!

yn oh shut your face

⤷ landonorris can you not yell?? i just put the boys to bed jeez

⤷ yn are you being cereal right now 😐

⤷ landonorris someone didn’t get d down last night

⤷ yn i’m gonna punch you in the throat when i get back to monaco

⤷ landonorris carlos!! control your woman!

⤷ carlossainz55 No thanks she scares me 🥰

⤷ landonorris at least give her some of that d man

⤷ carlossainz55 She’s been gettin it trust

⤷ yn why is our sex life always the topic of conversation??

⤷ carlossainz55 Bitches wish they were us

⤷ landonorris ooh we love a sassy man 💋

⤷ yn what is wrong with you

⤷ landonorris please don’t use that tone with me i’m feeling very sensitive right now

⤷ yn aww is it that time of the month

⤷ landonorris i’m the sweetest girl in town so why are you sooo mean? 💔😞🖤😖

oscarpiastri They always look like they just got back from war after being with you for more then 24 hours

charles_leclerc Let’s pray you don’t have kids until your at least 30

⤷ yn you’re*

⤷ oscarpiastri you’re*

⤷ lewishamilton you’re*

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux you’re*

⤷ landonorris your*

⤷ landonorris fuck i can’t do anything right

⤷ charles_leclerc I GET IT DAMN

⤷ charles_leclerc hahaha lando go back to school

⤷ landonorris you coming with me genius?

⤷ charles_leclerc damn

danielricciardo Now why would they trust you with two kids under 5

⤷ landonorris you’d be surprised with how much they trust me with…that’s right guys i know their dirty secrets 😏🍆🍑

⤷ carlossainz55 I’ll spill all your dirty secrets if you spill any of my dirty secrets

⤷ geogrerussell63 How are you guys getting that font??

⤷ landonorris it’s a secret

🝮

yn

liked by oliviajade and 4,769,106 others

yn surprise surprise,

mathéo & malachi 🤍 our little miracles

alexandrasaintmleux So much love 🤍 I’m obsessed with them already 🥰🥰

landonorris two more godsons to love 💙

f1 What did I say? Congratulations you two we are all so happy for your family 💙💙

carmenmmundt How precious 🥹🥹

alex_albon so what i’m hearing is carlos DOES have super sperm?

lilyzneimer sweet angel babies 🤍🤍

scuderiaferrari Does this mean we get 1000?? 😁😁

⤷ mclaren I was jking I knew it was gonna be a boy

⤷ f1 Hahahaha you have to pay both of us now 😂🫵🏽

francisca.cgomes so much boys 😭🩵🩵 i can’t wait to meet them 🥹

lewishamilton double trouble 💙💙💙 beautiful blessings truly

landonorris 4 is the best number 😏

⤷ yn don’t make me get pregnant again just to make it 5

⤷ landonorris gonna go cry in the bathroom brb

⤷ yn don’t come back ❤️

⤷ landonorris my heart can’t take this anymore

georgerussell63 You poor girl how are you surviving with all these boys??? 😦

⤷ yn i love my clingy boys

charles_leclerc Can’t wait to get them on the track

⤷ carlossainz55 You and me both brother

⤷ estiebestie i’m not okay

danielricciardo Congratulations on expanding your football team 💙

lilymhe milf 4x 😉 in absolute awe of them 🩵

pierregasly Carlos Sainz the man that you are

carlossainz55 I love you and our sons more then life itself baby, I couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone but you ❤️

⤷ landonorris SOMEBODY SEDATE ME

⤷ maxverstappen1 Come on grandpa, let’s get you back to bed

[kurishiri]

Mystery Bag 2025 ┊ Team 2: The trash bastards and the troubled fox

Harrison, Alfons, Jude, Nica

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ this translation may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to narrative flow and characterization purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but please don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

— the mystery bag 2025 sale is a story set sale where the guys are put into teams and participate in a relay event thing. this is one of three teams (i love al too much to pass this by aa orz)! you can read the prologue, translated by @.judesmoonbeauty, here.

— cw: mentions of drugging or spiking drinks, bribing, and groping.

——Group 2 for the preliminary contest: Harrison, Alfons, Jude, Nica.

—— Blue sky ——

Steering committee: Then, we will begin the round for group 2.

Steering committee: Who will reach the goal first and emerge the happy boy for 2025?!

Steering committee: Let us go all out! Take your places, and…start!

—— Park (day) ——

Harrison: Oh, jeez, that was fast. So, why are you guys all standing there?

Alfons: Since the spectators are no longer in sight, so I figured if it was around now or so,

A: it would be a good time to drop this act of competing to the hardest and fullest.

Harrison: What? (O_O)

H: Or wait a minute, I’m pretty sure Al’s no exception; you guys are scheming something weird, aren’t you.

Jude: Who are ya gonna blame when ya don’t have a drop o’ evidence on ya? Way to make others out as the villain.

Nica: Agreed. I wouldn’t dream of scheming anything so bad in broad daylight, you know.

Harrison: Your lies are so damn obvious. I don’t even need to use my ability to figure that out.

H: If you all get caught, would you be alright getting disqualified?

Alfons: Oh, goodness, shiver me timbers. I’ll be honest, so hold your silence, alright?

A: I’m sure you’re aware there is a spot you can take a quick water break a bit up ahead, no?

A: I maaay or may not have pulled an ever so slight trick on the drinks.

A: Said trick being a sleeping drug that can knock one out immediately.

Harrison: You’re the worst.

Jude: Well, seems like somethin’ that walkin’ offense to public morals would pull outta his arse.

Alfons: And what of you?

Jude: Jus’ gave some money on a stick to the committee and told ‘em to tamper with the info and give us the win.

J: There’s been a wave o’ people, so it wouldn’t get outed.

Harrison: You’re no better.

Nica: I’d expect nothing less from the company president, dirtying your hands. Someone as well-bred as me could never.

Harrison: And? What’s up your sleeve?

Nica: Now don’t go lumping me together with that mirror man and president.

N: All I did was use my superior intellect and surveying skills. …Say, did you know?

N: This time, beneath the course there’s a sewer. One that’ll lead you right next to the goal.

N: So I was thinking of slipping underground, bide my time… and take first place.

Jude & Alfons: What a piece o’ trash. / Very much a lowlife.

Nica: You guys are the last ones I want to be called ‘trash bastards’ from.

Harrison: Damn, it’s trash bastards left and right.

H: So? What did you hope to gain from all this?

Alfons: Why of course, it’s to use Her Majesty’s authority to do this and that and aaall things in between.

Harrison: I was a fool for ever asking.

H: What about you, Jude?

Jude: Anythin’ goes. There’s a whole load o’ things I wanna do with the Queenie’s authority.

J: Well, I’d bet that bad guy over there would ask for somethin’ ridiculous.

Nica: As if. I’m just trying to earn what I very much love — money.

N: There’s never enough money to go around.

Harrison: If that’s what you really think, then I’ll leave it at that.

Nica: …Being able to pick up on lies, huh. You’ve got a troublesome ability on you, don’t you, Harrison Gray.

Harrison: They said abilities were forbidden. I’m just reading what you’re feeling.

Nica: You’re the only one who’ll ever know if you’re using your ability or not. I’d expect nothing less of the one Cursed by the Lying Fox.

Harrison: Thanks, I guess.

Nica: ——Anyway, what are we going to do from now on?

Alfons: Whatever could you mean?

Nica: I mean, seeing as we all revealed our hands, I can’t imagine this will end nice and smooth.

N: For the record, I’m fine with taking each other down. Since I don’t hold back against bastards and all.

Jude: Ha, I like the sound o’ that. The last one standin’ wins. Simple, clear-cut, n’ easy to understand.

Alfons: Though I can’t say I enjoy such brutish things, I suppose sacrifices may be inevitable.

Harrison: Hey you guys——

Woman’s cry: Ahh!

Harrison: That voice…

Woman’s cry: Someone! There’s a groper— he groped me!

Nica: A groper, huh.

N: Yeah, I figured. There’s bound to be some stupid humans who can’t hold themselves back and take advantage of the festival.

N: I just don’t get it. Well, I’m sure with this crowd, he’ll get caught in no time.

Alfons: I’m sure a man foolish enough to grope others will be caught soon——

A: But as I recall, the direction that man is running happens to be toward the place Kate has come to cheer for us, isn’t it?

Harrison: …I’ll go. I’m worried about her.

H: You guys can do whatever.

Jude: Tch, can’t stand the thought o’ leaving ‘er alone and gettin’ yelled at.

Alfons: Ahha! Are the men who haven’t run that much before going full speed ahead now?

A: What are you going to do, Nica?

Nica: Guess I’ll go too? Standing idle around won’t do much anyway.

—— Alleyway ——

Groper: Dammit… why are you guys chasing after me! Ah——

Harrison: Okay, caught you.

Jude: Keep that trash bastard o’ a pervert restrained.

Harrison: That was my intention.

H: Ahh, you guys came too?

Nica: Ohh, so this is the groper, huh. Haha, now that’s a face that’ll probably stir up trouble with women.

Alfons: Judging by one’s outward appearance is nonsense. That said, though, he does sport a rather unfulfilled expression.

Groper: I didn’t do it! My hand just happened to touch her butt.

Groper: And besides! Aren’t you guys the one who’s got some unfulfilled desires, stirring up all this fuss all over this?

Alfons: Oh, you happened to, didn’t you.

A: On the way here, I caught onto something, you see.

A: As far as I heard, six women were bringing up how they were getting touched by you.

A: Why that is one hefty coincidence indeed, dare I say.

A: Or could it be your hands were implanted with a magnet that drew you to women’s rears?

Nica: And besides, we’ve got a handy lie detector right here.

N: So? Which is it?

Harrison: Everything you’re saying is a lie. There’s no doubt about that.

H: Well, that’s my intuition, at least.

Groper: …gh.

Groper: D-damn it all! Yeah, okay, I did it!

Nica: Okay, okay, I’ve heard just about enough of that bastard’s dirty voice.

Alfons: Now then, having confessed so honestly, what punishment shall we do?

A: Ahh, come to think of it, our abilities are off the table, aren’t they. Well then, Jude.

Jude: Show that nasty arse o’ yours. The one ya fondled with.

Groper: Guah!

Nica: Wow, that sounded brutal. His bones are probably broken.

Alfons: My heartfelt condolences. Well, what should we do with this knocked out man?

Harrison: Hand him over to the police.

H: Today we’re not Crown and Vogel, but rather just participants.

Jude: Whatever floats your boat. I couldn’t care less.

An unclear cry: Ahh!

Harrison: Another one…? (O_O)

Alfons: What is it this time?

—— Bridge ——

Kate: Ah— guys!

K: There’s a big problem, all the participants who had the drinks from the break spot ended up falling fast asleep!

Alfons: Is that so?

Kate: And then a committee member started to reveal that they’d been threatened and bribed and——

Jude: Hmm.

Kate: And on top of that, it was discovered that someone was going to use the sewer as an unjust move!

Nica: Well, I’ll be.

Kate: Just who could be behind these? It’s too much like what a trash bastard would do, and I can’t look past that!

Harrison: Go on, Kate, keep it going.

Kate: Wha——?

Fin.

team 1 team 2 team 3

ko-fi ☕️ ┊ comms 🤍

[marvelfanfn2187a113]

Daughter Problems

Sam and Dean Winchester & little sister!reader, John Winchester & daughter!reader

Requested by Anonymous (x2)

Synopsis: you get your very first period, and the boys are unequipped to deal with it

A/N: I tried to make John comforting but still in character, I hope you guys like it! (PS—I’m on my period so this was perfect)

“Dad!”

The slam of the motel door and the sound of your voice jolted Dean out of his dozing and had his head shooting up from the lore book he was reading.

“Jeez kid,” he grumbled. “Do you have to be so loud?”

“Where’s dad?” You demanded.

“On a hunt.” Dean gestured to the book in front of him. “I’m researching for him. You got back just in time to help.”

“Not now, Dean.” You huffed. “I need dad.”

Dean was suddenly stiffer and more alert.

“Why? Something happen?”

You groaned. “No, De, I just need him.” You rubbed your arms. “Can—can I call him?”

Dean stared at you for a moment, realizing that your flannel was tied around your waist rather than covering your arms, despite the cold air outside and in the motel.

“What’s with the shirt?” He questioned.

“It doesn’t matter!” You snapped, and Dean’s eyes widened.

“Alright, c’mon, spill.”

“Dean, forget it, I need—“

“Dad’s busy. I’m all you’ve got. Now tell me what’s going on.”

“Is something wrong?” Sam’s voice came right after he stepped into the motel room.

“I need to call dad!” You insisted.

“We’re not calling dad,” Dean said. “You don’t have a choice here, kid. If you need something, then—“

You didn’t let him finish. With a dramatic huff, you took hold of your flannel and untied it, revealing the bloodstain on your jeans.

The silence was dramatic, long, and extremely uncomfortable.

“Um…I take it you haven’t gotten this before,” Dean said. “But I mean…you know what it is, right? Like you know—“

“Yes, Dean! I know what it is!” You retied your flannel, fidgeting uncomfortably. “And no, I’ve never had it before.”

“We could, uh—“ Sam rubbed the back of his neck. “I mean, we could try to get you some stuff…do you know what you need?”

“Not really,” you mumbled. “I mean, I know there’s different options but I don’t know what…”

“Oh boy,” Dean grumbled, rubbing a hand over his face. You felt your face heat up at Dean’s embarrassment.

“You know what, never mind,” you huffed, turning and heading for the bathroom. “Just forget it.”

“No no, wait—“ Sam tried to stop you, but you brushed past him.

“I said forget it!”

The slam of the bathroom door ended your demand for you.

…

“Do you think we should go to the store?”

“I don’t know, man, I mean I don’t even know what she nee-“

The brothers’ twenty-minute long argument was cut short by the door opening, and the imposing form of John Winchester entered the room.

“Hey boys,” he greeted, frowning when he was met with awkward silence. “What’s going on? Where’s your sister?”

“Um…the bathroom,” Dean answered. “She uh…she got…she’s on her first…”

“Would you spit it out?” John snapped.

“She got her period,” Sam whispered as if it were a secret.

“Oh boy.” John rolled his eyes, and Sam and Dean were taken aback when he chuckled. “And you two idiots have been standing around trying to figure out what to do?”

“Well…” Dean looked defensive, but he couldn’t think of anything to say to defend himself.

“Alright, alright.” John shook his head. “Apparently health class taught you guys nothing. Here.” He grabbed a notepad and started writing up a list. “I want you two to go out and get these, and I’ll deal with your sister.” He handed the list to Dean, whose eyes widened at the sight.

“She needs all that?”

“Just get going,” John demanded.

Once the boys were gone, he knocked hesitantly on the bathroom door.

“Hey sweetheart? It’s dad, can I come in?”

He was met with silence for a few seconds, before a weak “ok” prodded him to open the door. His whole figure seemed to soften when he saw you sitting in the bathtub fully dressed, your clothes and hair soaked.

“I wanted to wash the blood off, but I didn’t want to see Sam and Dean again just to get clean clothes,” you mumbled. “So I just showered with them on.” You rubbed at your tear-stained face, and kept your gaze purposefully averted from John.

“Oh kiddo…” John sighed, coming to sit by you. His pitying reply seemed to just upset you further, and you started to cry. “Hey, hey,” John soothed. “It’s ok, really. Your brothers are off getting a list of stuff, and I can help show you what you need.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” You sniffled. “I got blood everywhere, and-and I’m a mess and I can’t stop crying…”

John had to admit, his little girl crying in a bathtub and questioning his sympathy felt like a punch to the gut. Was he really so bad?

“Look, I…I know I can be tough on you kids,” John admitted. “But I also know that this is a lot for you. This isn’t your fault, none of it—not the blood everywhere, or the crazy emotions, or anything. I’m just trying to make this easy for all of us, ok?”

“Ok.” You nodded, your tears finally subsiding.

“Ok,” John breathed. “Which means you’re gonna have to help me. Talk to me, what are you feeling?”

“My stomach really hurts,” you admitted.

“But you’re not…” John hesitated, then he huffed. “I mean you don’t feel like—“

“Like killing anyone?” You asked, struggling hard to resist rolling your eyes. “No…I kinda just feel like crying.”

“I’ll take it over the alternative,” John decided. A faint, nostalgic smile flitted over his features. “Your mother used to bite everyone’s heads off when—“ John shook his head, blinking hard as if blinking away the memory. “Um, anyway. I know you’re feeling pretty bad, but we’ve got enough enemies without you trying to kill us too.” John tried to smile again to indicate that he was—kind of—kidding, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. You smiled back anyway, if only to take pity on him, and he seemed relieved.

“I won’t,” you promised.

“We’re back!” Dean yelled as he entered the motel room.

“In here!” John announced, but when he saw you squirming and shrinking down as if you could disappear down the drain, he stood and went to meet Dean at the bathroom door instead. He took the bag Dean offered him and shut the door in his face.

“Ok.” John started laying everything out on the bathroom counter, and you felt like you would die if your face got any hotter. John noticed your face, and he stopped. “Right, uhh…” he put the bag down. “I’m just gonna leave this here and let you figure it out. Knock if you have any questions and I’ll come help you. I’m gonna get you some dry clothes, and you just…just come out when you’re done I guess.” John started to turn the door handle, but your voice stopped him.

“Dad?”

“Yeah kiddo?”

“Thanks.”

John grinned at you—a rare occurrence that you filed away in your memory—and walked out.

You stood up, laying a towel down on the bathroom floor so you wouldn’t get water everywhere, and took hold of the bag. It looked like the guys had gotten you just about every option of everything you could possibly need, including chocolate, which you munched on while you tried to decide what you wanted to use.

…

Ten minutes later, you were dried off and in clean clothes and hesitantly leaving the bathroom. You were surprised to see just your dad when entered the room.

“I sent the guys off to get some food,” John explained. “You feeling ok?”

“Yeah,” you mumbled, shuffling your feet. “Are you, um…are you gonna be around?”

“I finished off the hunt,” John assured you. “I should be here for at least a few days.”

“Thank you.” You felt your dad stiffen in surprise when you hugged him, but he quickly relaxed.

“You’re welcome,” he said. “You know your brothers we’re just trying to help, right?”

“They’re idiots.” Your words—muffled by John’s jacket—make him chuckle.

“Yeah, sometimes they are. But hey, that’s what I’m here for, right?”

You grinned, your arms tightening around your dad. “Right.”

And John hugged you back tightly, a smile on his face as he realized that even as you got older, there were some things you still needed your dad for.

Taglist:

@nyotamalfoy @mrvlxgrl @chocorade @aestheticdaisies @inlovewhithafairytale @that-wannabe-vangoghgurl @casmustdiee @987coley @deadlymistletoe @wayward-impala83 @whump-loverz

[icomeandg0]

“More than one” part 2!

Linked universe x reader (s) (Female)

Warnings: confusing.

A/N: I didn’t think the other post would get so much, thank you all<3

“She’s awake!”

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“An explanation is due.” Legends voice cuts through the silence earning a huff from Wild, “Can this wait until…later?”

“You can’t blame us for being curious, you did leave while we were sleeping—“

“And brought a girl with you!”

Sky and Wind chimed in, Wild wasn’t going to get a rest unless he told them, always on his arse he swears—

“Fine! I’ll tell” Wild clears his throat before sighing, “You see, she’s this girl from my era, she’s very important to me and she’s…one of the best things in my life and I plan on making sure she’s safe and by my side. Y/n L/n is her name and, goddesses if anything happens to her I would never forgive myself…” Wild says tenderly, he was very fond of you.

“Eugh, I asked for an explanation not a sappy, love story.” Legend takes his chance to tease Wild, “You’re the one that asked” Wild retaliates.

“Y/n huh? Must be a common name, I had a Y/n. She was certainly…Something.” Warriors voice grew a bit quiet as he looked off to the side, however no one really paid attention. “Yeah, I have a childhood best friend named Y/n” Four says, “Really? Me too!” Sky says, “The Y/n back at mine is such a sweetheart, city gal on the outside, country on the inside” Twilight spoke with a smile.

“Well I’ve got you all beat! My Y/n’s the best, she’s on of the best people I’ve met during my adventure!” Wind grins, “How about you, Hyrule? What about your Y/n?” Hyrule scratched the back of his head sheepishly, “Well, I never met a Y/n during my adventure so…can’t really comment”

“Jeez, if this Y/n girl makes all of you like this I hope I never meet a Y/n” Legend huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “How about you, old man?” Twilight asked, Time only sighed and opened his open eye. “I don’t see how this is relevant to our current situation therefore we must shut it down and focus on the subject.” Everyone went quiet after Time spoke, they all looked a bit ashamed but none the less changed the subject.

“Sheesh, must’ve been a harsh break up for Time…” Legend whispered over to Sky who felt remorse for the eldest hero.

“When she wakes up we’ll need to ask her a few questions, hopefully she can provide a few answers.” Time says earning a nod from Wild, “I’ll do the talking”

Soon their ears twitch as they hear shuffling coming from Hyrules tent. Soon it opens to reveal you inside, “Holy Hylia! I’ve been robbed—kidnapped too! Give my stuff back you thieves!” You point at the group in front of you, clearly you haven’t processed the fact that your Link was there.

“Y/n! You’re awake” Wild got up to his feet to help you up since you were on all fours which could re open the wound on your side.

“Link? What the hell are you doing here? Did you rob me?”

“No I didn’t rob you, nor did they—look just come. We need to talk, alone.” Wild looks at the boys, once he earned a nod he took you by the hand and led you away.

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“So what’s this all about—woah!” Wild immediately wrapped his arms around you, “oh by the three, I’ve missed you so much” Wild buried his head into your neck as you giggled softly and hugged him back.

“Heh, I’ve missed you too” Wild moves his head so he’s looking up to you now, “How did you get here?” “Crazy story really! You see…a portal sucked me in while I was out trying to find you a couple weeks ago.”

“Weeks? You were here for that long, alone?” “Nah! You see I have this really cool girl group I travel with and wanna know something? They’re all Y/n’s!” You exclaimed making Wilds eyes widen in astonishment.

“Really?” “Yeah! There’s TPY/n, HWY/n, OOTY/n, SSY/n, LTTPY/n, LOZY/n, FSY/n, WWY/n. Bit of a tongue twister but when you meet them they’ll greet you properly”

Wild felt a bit overwhelmed of the thought of meeting more Y/n’s but he nods either way, if the others say their Y/n’s were as lovely as they described then he’ll be fine! "Anyways, do you know this place? what about you tell me what happened before, you were unconscious and wounded when I found you"

"I was? Damn, let me try and remember..." You thought for a bit before speaking again, "We found a village nearby and it was called Agoir city, it must be the capital of this land because it has a massive castle. Me and the girls were shopping around like usual until WWY/n had to go ahead and steal something and get caught. Since we all looked the same they probably thought we were a thief family or something along those lines. OOTY/n told us all to split up so we wouldn't be taken, I ended up with TPY/n but those guards were quite literally right up our asses so we had to fight a few"

"I'm sure violence could've been avoided"

"Nope! but then they all attacked me so they landed a few blows and..I don't remember the rest" You finish explaining, Wild nods, "That was helpful information, really was. I'll tell the others but- There was this dragon that was...protecting you" "Oh...That's a relief she wasn't taken...Where is she? Is she back at the camp?" You asked, Wild shook his head. "We left her back where we found her-" "You did what?!"

Wild closes his mouth and looks at you with his blue eyes that were filled with confusion, "Okay...Okay, Link I need you to come back with me to see if she's still there, please." You hold your hand out which he takes with no hesitation, "Yeah, okay. Just gotta tell the others first." "Others?" "Yeah, You woke up in a rush you probably didn't process the fact that there were others back at camp." You sighed softly as he begins to pull you back to them all.

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"Oh woah! So you all are Links? That must be confusing...?" You tilt your head as you look at the lookalikes, you could tell the differences of each Link but being surrounded by them all is making you realise...This bitch is attractive in every universe, (Besides from Wind but he still a cutie.) "It did but we got our own names to call us by" They went around in a circle to introduce themselves, after Time introduced himself he opened his mouth once again.

"Is it true? that there are other Y/n's here?" Time asked a bit on edge, "Yup! Somewhere in Agoir city, I plan on taking Wild with me if that's alright with you" "No."

Wild gulped as Time's voice was stern but you didn't falter, "Well with all due respect, mister but I don't think that's something you have control over. I need Link to help me save my friends and considering it's his duty to do so I don't think it's very wise to intervene." You spoke, a hint of sassiness in your tone...most of the boys shared one thought.

'Yup, definitely a Y/n'

"I wasn't going to deny...I was going to say we were all going to come along too" Time finishes making you sheepish, "Sorry..." You scratch the back of your head and he only chuckles lightly before getting up, "C'mon boys, pack up everything so we can leave as soon as we can"

To be continued…

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And that’s a wrap! Hope you all enjoyed, don’t worry next chapter is all about the Y/n’s I promise but if you don’t understand I’ll put down who’s who for the Y/n’s.

I’ll put up a poll later on today, but I hope you all enjoyed this.

Taglist?

@fantasyhopperhea

TPY/n = Twilights era

HWY/n = Warriors era

OOTY/n = Times era

SSY/n = Sky’s era

LTTPY/n = Legends era

BOTWY/n = Wilds era (who was in this story)

LOZY/n = Hyrules era

FSY/n = Fours era

WWY/n = winds era.

[martuzzio]

HERMITCRAFT CATCHPHRASES

Hi, here's a (hopefully comprehensive) reference list of hermit catchphrases! The main goal here is to help writers and artists who (like me) might struggle with getting the characterization of some hermits right. Check out more info at the end of the post!

Note: this list updates a lot whenever I get new suggestions, which means reblogs aren't always fully accurate. I've linked this post to the top of my blog so it's easy to access the most recent version :)

Bdubs Shreep / uh-oh, gotta shreep! Crastle I love ya to death It’s gorgee Beyootiful Uh oh! Hell’s blazes! Hawsies YOU'LL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO! Shuddup! Judas priest! Bdubs' PERFECT REDSTONE!! What in the world! Holy cow! Nuh-uh! Hoimycraaaaaf Whimsy Trying my heart out

Beef EEskall That was my nickname in college! Nailed it! Dangit! Beefy Tunes Smelly Etho Opulent Etho? Oh, yeah, I own him Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Beef taught Etho about redstone Oh my goodness! Oh boy! What the heck Oh, baby! Quote unquote A ton of __

Cleo Class dismissed! I don’t need your stinky torches I will break your legs Trash is fish The answer to everything is leather pants Not because it’s the sand castle you deserve, but it’s the sand castle I need! What did you do, Joe…. It's FINE, everything's FINE Lovely Silly I mean... Not gonna lie... To be fair...

Cub DA CREAMADA CROP Alright guys Nice, nice Ladies and gentlemen / ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em Eeeeasy money Beautiful, absolutely beautiful Mmmmmhmmmmmm Holy smokes Let's goooo! Sweet Oh, baby! Man, oh man Without further ado Peace out Cheers / cheers, man There's some heat coming off that thing

Doc Are you kidding me now? Alright guys Can’t touch this The G.O.A.T. Etho, get to the damn land man! It all started when Grian touched my redstone… Epic

Etho Uh-huh Like-a so Oh snap Get your snacks! Holy smokes! Take care, have a good day, bye bye Aww snappers! Aww yeah Von Sway I barely know ‘er! Speaking of llamas Bright blue bamboo E. to the T. to the your mum Beefaroni / Beefers Speaking of llamas… That’s what she said! Free glass Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Suckerrrr! Check it out

False Blimey Awh dude Frick False Supremacy Oh my goodness I don't know about you guys, but... Props to __ I'm not gonna lie...

Gem Gem is great Her [name] is [adjective]! Gem will __ ("Gem will watch Impulse") Perfect! Epic It's true, I swear! Not gonna lie... Oh gosh! Trust the process Nailed it!

Grian Hello! My name is Grian Good… byeeeee! Pesky bird My heart! My little heart! Mumbo Mumbo you are AFK Can we just agree that Mumbo loses? What in Queen Elizabeth’s shiny crown was that? It wasn't me, it was the man in the chicken costume! SaAaaaAaAnd Chobblesome SCAR NO— / NO SCAR— In theory… Electric boogalooo What does this button do? What on earth? This is in shambles Get outta here! Hear me out... We don't have __. What we DO have is __ Just straight up Without further ado Crack on Bingo bango Yes. 100%

Hypno Right, right Mmhmm You guys Dang guy

Impulse What’s goin on everyone? Shovel Shuffle BEHIND YOU GEM! Peeps Geez Let's goooo! Are you kidding me? Oh, man Now we're talkin'! Holy smokes Oh my gosh How cool is that? Jeez! Dang it! Buddy Presi (for present) You bet!

Iskall Hallo -skall ("richskall") That’s mega / that’s looking absolutely mega Omega “Excuse me? Sir?” __ of doom Okay, lol And I will see you dudes in the next episode I’ve had a realization Oh for goodness sake! It’s not fat, it’s big-boned Not gonna lie SaAaaaAaAnd Very fine Great success! Bird poop Bumbo Cactoni Do you even bust? / Do you even bust bro E Pag

Jevin Hypno smells! Oh my god Sucker What the heck Dude Man I swear

Joe Howdy y’all! That’s the Joe Hills difference! I will now say a poem of my own devising Core concept Keep adventurin’! Time skip! Who’s the guy who conquers death? That’s Joe Hills No not rage quitting I have to pick up my daughter from school or my wife will rage quit me! Grow Hills / Expand Joe Joepacity / Jhost

Keralis Look into my eyes and nothing but my eyes Wanna buy a book? Spank you very much Just sit back, relax, and enjoy Like this, like that I can see my house from here! Bubbles, Shashwammy, Sweetface, Princess Lookie lookie at my cookie / lookie lookie at my cookie… no, please don’t Like-a so I love your face I’m a real boy! I don’t k-nove (know) Not like this! Booshes Clever girl But first… lemme take a selfie I’m sinking… mayday mayday we’re sinking! Hallo yes dis is de German coast guard what are you sinking about? Scary harry larry I’m alayve! Breathtaking — no you’re breathtaking Mm-kay Oh behave I’m a simple man MeOOOow Welcome to my humble abod-ee Not too shabby My face! My palms are sweaty, mom’s spaghetti Tag 2 Booga Booga Stiffy nipples Batman! First I was afraid, I was petrified...

Mumbo I worry about myself sometimes I'm not really quite sure if I like that or not Yeah… yeah that's looking good… I guess… Dude! Chuffed to bits It’s a bit pants I’m such a spoon Oh my word It’s quite simple, really / it’s actually quite simple Bonkers I’ll catch you in the next one. See ya Off you pop Oh goodness me! Hermit challenges — initiation! All done and dusted To be frankly honest Seriously seriously cool Absolutely nuts I don’t even know what to say Iskall I feel sick Peace, love, and plants Moon’s big Mumbo for Mayor Quite simple

Pearl Lovely Bonkers At this point... Cheeky / you cheeky What's this? Mate

Ren Now we’re cooking with gas / we be cooking with gas today Ladies, get in line! / ladies, gentlemen, everybody get in line! You picking up what I’m putting down My dudes Y’know what I’m sayin’ Coming atcha frommmmmm Dude Coming from left, right, and center Greetings cyberdogs and citizens of the Interwebs, this is Ren-diggity-dog comin at ya in another episode from the Hermitcraft server (ey!) Automagically Jazztastic Janktastic Oh baby Like nobody’s business Looking absolutely magnificent Anyhoozle Twaddle Renstone The Octagon is a well-oiled machine! [word]-age [word]-ation [word]-i (to make things plural You love / hate to see it I'm just sayin' / if you know what I'm sayin' Professional __ Jazz Anyhoozle Exqueeze me? Freakin' Some serious __ What's happenin', baby? Chesticles

Scar Scarred for life Woah, what in the world! It’s gonna be am-ay-zing LOOK at the siiiiize of that Well, hello there my fellow miners and crafters, GoodTimesWithScar here. Welcome back to the wonderful world of Hermits and crafting Don’t forget to subscribe or you might just become scarrrred for life! Looking super fancy Let’s hit super fast build mode! Look at the size of that Appreciate ya Hotguy! Operation: Aquathunder! That’s what she said! Rapscallion You silly goose Oh, sweet baby Jellie! Bayum! / Bam! The bee's knees Easy peasy, orangey squeezy

Stress Are you havin’ a giggle? / are you takin the mic? Mate Oh my god / oh my gosh / oh my good gordons Gorgeous Plonker Geezer Ohhhhh nooooo! Yeeeesshhh I legged it Such a pro / I'm such a pro Proper __ Cheeky Bloke Thingamajig Ain't [word]-age [word]-ies

Tango Happy fun sauce -ificator, -inator, -ness, -tastic Skadoodle Fearsome bunny slippers Noob juice So here’s the deal Holding shift Shwoop Flim flam Poop came out Extra dumb with dumb sauce / __ of extra dumb Flee with extra flee! / fleeing with terror! Boom booms Gah! The dungeon is ready for its next victim Behold! Results may vary! I think my math is correct, but it’s been known to be wrong This is the worst timeline. I hate everything Big no! You— you freak of nature! Jerkface Jerkbutt Excellent How embarassing This is true Zombert Bits This I gotta see! Right in the face! [word] is happening Yeah baby! Stupid jerks Boop This is the best / worst thing ever! Niner niner niner [general unintelligible noises]

TFC What in tarnation! Crap-tacular Humongous Butt-ugly Ugly as sin Oh, goody Ender-twits Bugger Oh, fart For crying out loud

Wels Words are hard If you will Super __

xB Aww yeah Mmkay Son of a biscuit Pretty frickin' __ Man Get frickin' wrecked! Chestacle Dang it Staaph it Oy vey Crap on a cracker Dang it, Bobby! Dang guy

Xisuma Oh goodness me Oh dangit Geez Peeps I’m such a derp Oh my days Chooturial Issooma Allo Woa’ah Brought (instead of bought) My dude Achacha

Zed Hello hello hello A-good a-bye Muckin' about I lied TaaaAAnnGoOOooooOOOo Hu-jah! Pretty darn __ Certainly Rubbish I'm [word]-ing [word] me [word]-iness What happens is... Get kersplatted! Epic Oh my goodness!

More Info

So I'm currently writing a HC fic and realized how little I know about some of the hermits (I unfortunately don't have time to watch all of them), which made it really difficult to depict them properly in my writing. I'm assuming at least some of you might also struggle with this, so, here we are!

If you know of a catchphrase from any hermit from any season, comment, reblog, send me a an ask or dm, dm me on discord, whatever works the best :D

Note: when I say "catchphrase," I mean anything a hermit repeats over an extended period of time. It can be something said during a single season (like "You'll speak when spoken to!" or "Hermit Challenges!"), or something that spans their entire careers (like "Aww snappers!" or "Plonker"). I'm not looking for one-off quotes that are never bought up again — there's some great sources (like @hermitcraft-correct-quotes) for that already :)

Sources (which will hopefully expand with time): This reddit post from four years ago This other reddit post also from four years ago Reddit from three years ago This cute diagram A more up to date source Another Xisuma's dictionary on his website HC character tv tropes page This incredible google doc

[somanyratsinthewalls]

Heyy! I’m new here and I absolutely love your writings wksiwksjwjshe is your 300 event still open?

if yes I would love to req a cinnamon + poplar ! hehe thank you! (If it’s already closed then don’t mind me)

*HI sorry this took forever! But I hope you love it ;) Ace is such a filthy boy in this one, EYE certainly enjoyed it*

Pairing: Ace x Fem Reader

WC: 2200

Prompt: “Shh I know baby, I know it’s good. You’re doing so good for me…” 

TW: SEX, shameless flirting in public, Ace being kind of a pervert, reader is a bit older than young buck Ace, p in v sex, unprotected sex (don't) creampie (also don't) fingering, teasing, pet names, filthy language. the usual?

— — 

You sat at your desk in the medical ward of the ship, up to your ears in paperwork. Blood test results to log, supply order forms to go over, you had so much on your plate and it was eating away at you. The rest of the crew was in the galley drinking but you were stuck working. 

Suddenly the door to the med bay swings open and in waltzes the crew’s head doctor. 

“Ok little chicken, that’s enough work for tonight.” Marco smiles warmly at you as he approaches your desk. 

“Please stop calling me that." You sigh and rub your eyes. "And I still have more releases to sign off on, and the IV tubing we use for Dad is on backorder, so I have to decide if we go up a size or down a size and did you know-“ You ramble on and on while Marco rolls his eyes. 

“I’ll handle it. Go out and have a drink.” Marco eyes your tired face. “Gods know you need it, kiddo.” 

You sigh. You feign a smile as you rise from your desk chair, the joints in your back and knees popping from how long you had been sitting. 

“Was… was that your back?” Marco asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes. Shut up.” You say as you push your way out of the med bay. You follow the sounds of music and riotous laughter towards the galley and enter quietly. You slunk between the groups of pirates towards the center of the room and grab a beer from the barrel full of ice. You pull your cigarette lighter out of your pocket and use it to pop the cap off your beer. You stow the lighter back into your pocket. 

“Hey, y/n! Over here!” 

You turn around and see a somewhat intoxicated Ace waving you over to his table. He had that stupid, goofy grin on his face. You smiled back and headed in his direction. He was standing around a wooden table with Thatch, Izou and a few other Whitebeard pirates and nurses. 

“Jeez y/n you look like you’ve been up for a week.” Ace teases you. 

“I think I have, now that you mention it…” You say and take a sip of your beer. 

“Man I haven’t seen you this down before, y/n. What the hell is going on with you?” Izou asks. 

“Well, since you’ve asked! I’m exhausted. I’m bored. I’m stressed. I can’t tell if I want 5 more beers or to fall asleep on the floor! I am wildly overworked and under-fucked.” You finish your rant and slam your beer. 

“Anyone else need another one?” You ask to the now silent group of people that surrounded you at the table. You were met with mostly blank stares, shocked at your sudden outburst. You turn and head to grab a new beer. 

“I’ll come with you!” Ace is quick to join with a mischievous smirk on his lips. 

He follows you like a puppy as you head towards the beer. 

“You know I can help you with that, right?” Ace grabs your arm and pulls you to face him. 

You laugh. 

“I don’t really think Marco would trust you enough to run my blood tests for me, but thanks.” 

“No no, the other part. The being under-fucked part.” Ace smirks down at you. Again, you laugh. 

“Haha, oh yeah? What are you, like 23? Like you’d know what to do with it if you had a chance.” You smile playfully and wiggle out of his grip, finally retrieving another beer. Ace does the same and sidles close behind you on your way back to the table. Suddenly Ace’s breath is hot in your ear as he leans in to whisper something to you. 

“Well I’ve got an 8 inch cock that might change your mind on that…” You stop dead in your tracks and your eyes widen. 

“Wha-?”

Ace passes by you and goes to join the table again. “Only if you want, though! Come on, let’s have another drink!” Ace beckons you over like he hadn’t just whispered the most crude, filthy thing in your ear 30 seconds ago. 

Convincing yourself you had imagined it, you snap out of your trance and return to the table to drink. 

You enjoy a few more rounds of drinks and you notice with each beer, Ace slides his body closer and closer to yours. You could attribute this to the size of your party shrinking as people headed off to bed, but at this point he was basically pressing his side into yours, occasionally grazing his warm hand over your hip. 

His touch was fleeting, but hot… it made you crave more. You found yourself leaning into him and he pulled you closer in return. He felt you shudder. 

“Oh man, y/n, you must really be tired. Do you need help getting back to your room okay?” Ace looks down at you with a devious smirk.  You knew what he was really asking.. and you were far too quick to respond. 

“Yes, I think I’d like that, Ace.” You smile and he wraps his arm around your hip and pulls you away from the table. 

Ace is all but giggling as he brings you back to your room, pinching and squeezing your skin anywhere he could tease it. He stops at your door and looks at you expectantly. 

You laugh. 

“Would you like to come inside, Ace?” 

“Hell yeah!” Ace practically jumps into your room behind you and slams the door shut. 

From the instant the door is closed, Ace’s lips are on yours. You barely had time to react to the kiss before he started tugging at your clothes. You laugh and pull back from the kiss. 

“Haha slow down!  We have all night Ace… I’m not going anywhere.” You purr at him and stroke his cheek. What a sweet, eager little thing he was. 

Ace nuzzles himself into your neck and plants a wet kiss. 

“‘M’sorry, just hate seeing you like this…” Ace continued licking and biting at your neck. You whimper. “Gonna fix it… gonna make you feel so good, baby.” 

Your cunt clenched in anticipated of what he was about to do to your body. Ace pulls your dress over your head and tosses it to the floor. He distracts you with more kisses as he unclasps your bra and pulls it off of you. Ace kisses down to your stomach and gently pulls your panties down. You step out of them and realize you’re completely bare in front of your friend. 

You covered your breasts instinctively. Those doesn’t go unnoticed by Ace, who was coming up to meet your eye again. He pulls your arm gently away from your chest and smiles. 

“Aww are you shy, baby?” Ace coos at you. You blush so hard you think your face might be on fire. Why was he having this affect on you? He was a young blowhard at least 5 years your junior, and yet he ended up with all of the control in this situation…

“That’s ok, come here…” Ace gets on your bed and sits up with his back against the pillows and headboard. “Let me show you why you don’t need to be shy.” He smirks and holds out his arms to you. 

You lick your lips and climb into Ace’s waiting lap. He positions you with your back again his chest, sitting between his legs. This position reminded you how Ace was still fully clothed and you were completely naked. Something about being so vulnerable in front of him was intoxicating… 

“Spread your legs, sugar. Show me that cute pussy.” Ace whispers in your ear as he pulls your legs over his own, spreading them as far as they could go comfortably. 

“Ace…” You whimper quietly, trying to turn your head away. You were embarrassed at how aroused he had made you, all while barely touching you… but not nearly embarrassed enough to ask him to stop. 

Ace wastes no time before his hands are on your dripping sex. 

“Holy shit…” Ace glides a finger up and down your slit. “Look at how wet you are, pretty.” His one finger turns to two fingers as he collects more of your slick from your hole and brings it up to rub firm circles onto your clit. 

“Ace! Fuck!” You throw your head back, body feeling like it was filled with static electricity. He had you so worked up that every little touch felt like it was amplified by 100. 

“You’re so wet that I bet I could just slip my fingers in..” Ace smirks and swiftly plunges the two digits into your hole. You moan. “And I bet that if I do this…” Ace begins to firmly pull and tap his fingers into that delicious spot inside of your cunt. “… you’ll cum.” 

“Shit, fuck, Ace! O-oh my- Ah! ACE!” You cry out and explode all over Ace’s arm and the bed in front of you. 

“Looks like I was right, huh baby? That’s a good girl, give it all to me.” Ace playfully reacts as he rubs at your clit to prolong your orgasm. 

“Fuck… Ace…” You lay heaving on your bed in Ace’s arms, the spasms from your climax finally ceasing. 

You feel Ace smiling into your neck as he peppers it with sweet kisses. 

“I wouldn’t know what to do with it, huh???” He chuckles into your damp skin. 

“Shut up and fuck me already.” You roll your eyes. 

Ace gently moves you out from between his legs and he rises from the bed to remove his vest and shorts. You audibly gasp at the sight of his huge member springing free from its confines. 

“Jeez you weren’t kidding…” You say softly, eyes not leaving Ace’s cock in front of you. 

“I’m a pirate, baby, not a liar.” He flashes you that stupid grin again. “Now face down, ass up, sugar.” 

You quickly oblige, grabbing a pillow to cushion your face that was now stained with mascara. The first thing you feel is a warm hand sliding up your spine and massaging your skin, then you feel the prodding of Ace’s thick cock at your sopping wet entrance, the heavy mushroom tip barely breaching your hole. Ace dipped his tip teasingly in and out… 

“Ace…. please…” You whine as you push your hips back to entice him to fully enter you. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll give it to you, you don’t ever need to beg for me, pretty.” Ace plants both hands on your hips and pulls your ass flush against his pelvis, sinking his cock as deep as it will go into you. 

Strangled moans leave the both of you as he bottoms out. Ace pulls out slowly, looking down to admire the wet mess you’ve already left on his cock. He pushes back in and you moan again, squeezing him involuntarily. 

“Gods you were right… this tight little pussy is under-fucked.” Ace speeds up his thrusts and you gasp, the wind nearly knocked out of you. “Don’t worry baby, I’m gonna make sure that never happens to you again… gonna fuck you every day… make you feel so fucking good…” 

Ace was slamming into you at an animalistic pace and you felt a second orgasm creeping up on you. You could feel the droplets of sweat from Ace’s face splatter on your back, as well as the crazed, possessive grip on your hips almost certainly leaving bruises. You couldn’t form words, only broken sobs and shrieks as your lover drilled into you, dead set on making you cum again. 

Tears fell from your eyes against the pillow and you whined, so close to reaching your peak again. 

“Shh I know baby, I know it’s good. You’re doing so good for me…” Ace coos at you. “Cum on my cock and I’ll fill you up, ‘kay sugar?” Ace leans forward and presses his chest to you as he continues his brutal assault on your pussy. He reaches one hand from your hip down and around to rub at your clit. The stimulation sends you over the edge and your orgasm rips through your whole body. “Ace!” You scream out and lurch forward, no longer able to hold your torso up with your arms anymore. 

“Good fucking girl! Now I’m gonna make you mine…” Ace praises you. 

You try to mumble out “please” but you truly have no idea if you were saying anything coherent.

“Haaa, fuck!” Ace cries out and spills his load impossibly deep into your warm hole. You whimper as you feel rope after rope of Ace’s hot seed filling you. Ace rubs firm circles into your hips as he calms down from his release. 

Suddenly, Ace pulls out of you and flops back into your bed and pulls you to his chest. You nuzzle into his sweaty pecs as you throw a leg over his hips. Ace pulls the blanket over the two of you, briefly leaning upwards to make sure your whole body was covered and comfortable before settling back on the pillows. 

“So you were serious?” You ask quietly. 

“About what, baby?” Ace answers as he strokes your hair. 

“About fucking me every day?” You chuckle. 

“Mmhmm…” Ace kisses the top of your head. “Tomorrow. And the next day.. and the next day… and the next day… and the next… and…” 

You hear Ace start snoring and smile. 

xx 

[vanessa-parker]

Hawks' Pretty Bird

Hi guys! This is my first story as to what I think being with Hawks is like! If you like it and want another chapter please let me know! It starts off pretty risky as that's how I think it would actually be lol

“Hey hottie”, you say landing after spotting the number 2 hero perched on a building. Hawks turns towards the sound an eyebrow raised “Jeez, way to make a guy blush, sweetheart. Not to sound cocky, but I take it you're a fan of mine.” He says with his signature grin. He notices the wings behind you are similar to his except for the color. Your wings are beautiful shades of blue. You blush as he stares “I'm guessing you have a bird mutation quirk like me?” You nod “I sure do! Except my feathers are prettier,” you say a hint of playfulness in your tone. Hawks can’t help but smirk “Well, aren't you a confident one. If you keep talking like that, you'll make me act a bit territorial and get possessive of my feathers.” You shrug “What can I say, I do think those eyes of yours are beautiful,” you say with a wink. Hawks laughs “Well, looks like we got a charmer on our hands. You keep up this flattery and I'll end up inviting you back to my place.” You grin back at the #2 hero “Maybe that’s what I’m trying to do but I kinda wanna see this possession you have of your feathers.” Your heart is racing you’re usually not this bold but after your last relationship, you decide on a different approach. “Heh,” he laughs “careful what you wish for. But just a fair warning, once I lay a claim on something it's usually a done deal. You sure you can handle it?” You smirk and the man’s cockiness, trying not to lose your own you reply allowing your feathers to glide under his chin “Show me what you got bird boy” and with that, you launched yourself into the night sky.

“Oh man, you did not just call me "bird boy" and then fly off like that. You're going to regret that comment once I catch up to you.” He mumbled to himself Keigo's wings flap rapidly as he propels through the night sky, trying to keep up with the speed of your flight. He can't help but wear a competitive grin on his face as he chases after you. “Looks like we got ourselves a little speedster over here.” He says his tone teasing, you laugh once more “Come on #2 I thought you were the fastest hero” Keigo grins as you laugh, the competitive fire in his eyes growing stronger. He pushes himself harder, his wings beating fast as he catches up to you. “Oh ho, so now you're teasing me. I'll have you know I'm the number 2 hero, and I can prove it right now. You might be fast, but there's no one faster than me.” you suddenly stop facing him flapping your wings to keep you afloat you laugh as he crashes into you allowing you both to free fall. Keigo lets out a surprised yelp as you suddenly come to a halt, causing him to crash right into you. His eyes widen in shock as the two of you fall through the air. He quickly regains his composure, grabbing onto you to stop your descent. The thrill of the adrenaline rush was coursing through his body, but also he couldn’t help but feel a bit annoyed at being bested so easily. "What the hell was that for?" you laugh rolling out of Hawks's grasp and begin flying next to him poking at his side “I wanted to see how fast #2 was” Keigo rolled his eyes at your teasing, but he couldn’t help but let out a slight chuckle. He continued to fly alongside you, his wings flapping swiftly through the night sky.

“Oh, so you chose the most dramatic way possible to test my speed, huh? You’re quite the mischievous one, aren’t you?”

“What can I say” Keigo chuckled at your response, a sly grin playing on his lips. He continued to fly alongside you, occasionally flicking his wing feathers in your direction to tease back. “You know, if you wanted to test my speed, we could have done something a bit less reckless. Like a race instead of a free-fall.” you giggle at the sensation of the feathers “I thought you’d like a challenge” He couldn't help but let out another chuckle as you giggled at the sensation of his feathers. He took a moment to glance over you, his gaze lingering on your form for a brief moment before returning his attention forward. “A challenge, huh? Well, I can’t deny that I do enjoy a little competition. But if I win, you owe me something special.” 

"You’re on" Keigo’s competitive spirit flared up at your acceptance of the challenge, a cocky smirk now plastered on his face. "That’s the spirit! You’re in for it now. The winner gets a special prize, deal?" "Deal race you back to your place" you laugh as you launch further into the sky Keigo let out a low chuckle at your quick exit, his eyes narrowing in focus on the challenge at hand. He pushed himself forward, his wings beating faster and stronger, propelling him forward through the night sky toward the direction of his home. He called out to you as he flew. "You’re gonna eat your words, sweetheart!" you laugh at his words, with his apartment in sight you dash towards the open window not seeing Hawks suddenly arms wrap around you as you crash land into the apartment. Keigo lets out a victorious chuckle as he wraps his arms around you, and crash landing together on the floor of his apartment. He pins you down, holding you in place. His breath comes in short pants as the adrenaline coursed through his veins. He looks down at you, a sly grin on his face. "Looks like I win." You blush at the position you’re in "Technically it was a tie"   Keigo lets out another chuckle, feeling your body beneath him. He shifts his weight on top of you, not bothering to release his grip just yet. "Tie, huh? I don’t remember agreeing to a tie. A deal is a deal, sweetheart. I think that means I get my prize now."

You roll your eyes, "Yeah yeah what is it?"

Keigo grins down at you, his eyes raking over your form. He continues to keep you pinned beneath him, savoring the moment. "Hmm, let's see... I do love the feeling of victory. So maybe I'll take some credit for the prize." He lowers his face closer to your ear, his breath sending a shiver up your spine. He whispers into your ear. "How about I claim you for tonight?"

[leaentries]

dangerous | jack hughes

summary: sometimes two souls crave each other more than they’d like to admit

warnings: swearing, suggestive themes, friends with benefits

wc: 1.8k+

a/n: here’s a surprise jack fic! i got a surge of motivation to write for him bc he’s been lookin too fine lately🫣 i was also in the mood for something a little more sappy so this was the outcome.

You knew you shouldn’t pick up the phone, that you should send him to voicemail. Yet, the way his face mocked you from the lit-up screen was beckoning. Jack was, without a doubt, the easiest man to fall in love with, but that's what made him dangerous. 

The two of you met a few months prior, stumbling into each other during the offseason. You both immediately clicked, finding every chance to hang out. Even his brothers became close friends with you. It wasn’t until this past August when you inevitably found yourself in Jack’s bed. 

❥.

The sun was still beaming, the fleeting moments of summer holding on for dear life. You sat, sprawled out in a lawn chair at the Hughes’ lake house, soaking in what was left of the hot weather. You knew you would be leaving soon, having to go back to Jersey with Luke and Jack, but the way the lake sounded in your ears was too calming for you to care. 

With a single earbud in, you didn’t fail to hear the sneaky footsteps that inched closer from behind. 

“I can hear you, ya know.” The sound of your voice breaking the peaceful silence. 

“Man, I thought I was being quiet.” A smile graced your face at the familiar drawl of Jack’s whine. 

“You gotta try harder next time, Jacky.” You sat up fully, squinting your eyes to look up at his form that stood in front of your burning legs. 

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t act like you weren’t screaming last night.” A blush found its way to your face at his statement. While you knew he didn’t mean it the way it sounded, it still made you flustered. 

“Jeez, pretty girl, you’re starting to burn,” Jack took off the Yankees hat on his head, only to lazily plop it onto yours, “Here. That way your face is somewhat covered now.”  

You scrunched your nose, “Ugh, Jack! It’s all sweaty!” 

Jack just rolled his eyes, “Oh well, suck it up. It’s better than having to hear you complain the next few days about how sunburnt you are.” 

This time it was your turn to roll your eyes.

“C'mon, pretty, let’s go inside before you go up in flames.” Jack sent you a smirk, before taking off in a sprint towards the back door.

“Jack!” You called as you ran after him. Upon entering the house, you attempted to catch your breath as you looked around for the blue-eyed boy. 

As if sensing your confusion, you heard Jack call from upstairs, “Up here!” 

You huffed as you trekked up the steps to his room. 

“What the hell, Ja-” You cut yourself off as Jack’s shirtless back came into view. The way his muscles rippled against his tight, tan skin left you breathless. Summer sure did look good on him. 

You took a deep breath as he turned around from his dresser, holding a familiar green bottle in his hands. 

“I went ahead and grabbed some aloe, that way we can get ahead of the burn that's definitely gonna bite you in the ass tomorrow."

You stared. 

Jack threw his hands in an impatient gesture, “Well? Come over here so I can rub this on you.” 

While you and Jack had only been friends a short time, your body still shook with nerves at the thought of his hands on you. Deciding to put on your big girl britches, you quickly shed your cover, leaving you in your bathing suit top. 

Jack moved his finger in a “turn around” motion. You roll your eyes at his impatience, “Calm down. I’m turning.”

“Not fast enough, pretty.” You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion at his haste.

Little to your knowledge, Jack’s lack of patience stemmed from his urge to touch you. He practically used every fiber to stop himself from applying the aloe to his palms embarrassingly quick.

You threw your hair up, just enough to keep it out of reach, then finally turning to face away from Jack’s awaiting form. 

“Oh!” You yelped, the cold gel making your body jolt away. Before you had a chance to ease, you felt a strong hand grasp your waist and pull you back to your previous position. 

“Gotta stay still f’me,” His husky voice sent shivers down your spine, “Or else you’ll make a mess.” 

Your muscles tensed as Jack brought his hand back to your shoulder blades, applying the aloe gently. The cool tingles were soon replaced with hot ripples of pleasure as Jack’s warm palm worked. You closed your eyes, leaning back into his touch. 

“That feels so good, Jacky.” You mumbled into the air. 

You felt Jack’s hand stutter slightly before regaining its pace. “Can’t say things like that, beautiful.” He sucked in a breath, “Not with that pretty mouth.”         

Your head lifted as you stepped away from him. Jack’s eyes widened in panic, worried he had gone too far. But when you turned to him, gazing into his eyes with your lust-blown ones, he knew you felt it too. 

Jack wiped his hand on a nearby towel, before tossing it somewhere. You took a couple of steps forward, your chest now pressed against his. You could feel his heavy breathing. Jack brought his hands to your waist, bending down slightly. Your eyes flickered from his eyes down to his lips. 

“You gotta tell me to stop, pretty girl. I don’t want to do something you don’t want.” 

You shook your head, “Then don’t stop.” That was all the confirmation Jack needed before slamming your lips together in a rush of want and desperation. 

Before long, your bathing suits littered the floor and your cries filled the room. 

❥.

This was just the first of many encounters that formed the strange relationship you held with the hockey player. What started out as a one-time thing soon developed into something more and truth be told, every time Jack left your apartment he took a little piece of you with him.

You’re not one hundred percent positive when your feelings for him grew, maybe they were there the whole time, but either way, seeing Jack only caused you to get hurt. Knowing he only sees your relationship as strictly physical, ignoring the boy seemed to be your only option.

You were all too aware of the outcome if you tried to talk to him in person. There would be a lot less talking and a lot less clothing. Your eyes remained glued to your movie, opting to shut your phone off after Jack’s third missed call. You knew what he wanted, and you were too drained to make an effort. Was it the most mature option to semi-ghost him? No. Did you care? Also no. But what you did know, was that you needed a drink. 

You stalked over to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of cheap wine that Luke had somehow managed to buy. Not even bothering with a glass, you remove the cork and take the bottle back to the couch. Taking a swig, you resume your movie, trying your best to block out the electric temptation lying next to you. 

Around an hour has passed, when rapid knocks burst through your apartment. A little past tipsy, you called out, “Whoever you are,” You hiccuped, “Go the fuck away!” 

“Open the damn door, y/n.” 

You felt yourself sober up almost immediately. The harsh tone in his voice struck you. Hesitantly, you walk to the door, only slightly opening it. You cowered, sticking your head out, with a meek, “Hi, Jack.” 

Unamused, he pushed you back, careful not to hurt you, before making his way into your apartment. You stood still as he paced in your living room. Nerves coursed through your veins as he remained silent. 

“Ja-”

“Why are you ignoring me?” His question rendered you speechless. How were you supposed to tell him that you caught feelings? Your brain moved miles a minute, attempting to come up with an excuse. Yet, it turned up empty. You bit your lip as you looked away from him. 

“No. We’re not doing this. You can’t just ignore me for weeks and not have a reason.” His voice was laced with worry and anger. Jack ran a frustrated hand through his messy hair, “Did I do something to piss you off? Did I hurt you? Was it Lu-” 

You cut him off, “I caught feelings.”

Even you found yourself startled at the sudden confession. Jack halted in place, staring at you with an unreadable expression. You teetered your weight between your heels, too afraid to say anything else. You had put your entire friendship at risk with those three words. And now you might have to pay the ultimate price.

Getting scared at his silence, you begged, “Jack, say something. Please.”

He remained in place. He appeared deep in thought, before finally speaking. “How long?”

“W-what?”

“How long have you had feelings?” 

You looked at the floor, “Before we even hooked up.” 

“Jesus, Y/n” 

His tone was enough to make tears spring in your eyes. “I’m sorry! I know I should have told you. I just was so lost in the moment and how you made me feel. I know this is only physical to you and I understand if you don’t want to be fri-” 

He cut you off once more, “You think I only see you physically?” 

“Well, yeah?” Your brows furrowed, “I mean, you would practically sprint for the door every morning. It’s kinda hard to think otherwise.” 

Guilt flashed in his features, “I only ran because I didn’t want to risk you seeing my feelings for you.” Your eyes darted up to meet his. “I was so scared that I’d lose you, I just wanted to hold on to any part of you that I could. B-but when you wouldn’t talk to me I thought I screwed us up for good.” Tears began to fill Jack’s eyes. “Please tell me I haven’t lost you, pretty girl.”

“You could never lose me, Jack.” 

With two strides, Jack was pulling your body into his. Wrapping his arms tightly around your frame, you buried your head into him. 

“Don’t ever ignore me like that again. I don’t think my heart can handle a rejection from you.” 

A whimper left your lips at the desperation in his voice. You pulled away, and without another word, you slotted your lips into Jack’s. Your hands gripping into the soft material of his hoodie, holding him to you. He slowly backed you up to the wall, hand moving to cradle your jaw. 

He parted, chest heaving, “I wanna show you how much you mean to me, pretty.” With an eager nod, you returned your lips to his.

With strung clothes and lingering kisses, you finally let yourself fall for Jack, not caring how dangerous it might be. 

[systemrestart]

From Alison Bechdel's "Dykes to Watch Out For". Strip name "Au Courant", from 1994

I'd never seen this strip get posted, so I want others to see it. Mo, the character expressing 'concern' over the inclusion of trans women (as well as bisexuals) in lesbian culture, is often portrayed as being overly self-righteous, jumping to conclusions about others, and not critically examining her own biases and worldview. She was also the character in the comic commissioned for Transgender Warriors, where she learns she was wrong for being anxious about sharing a bathroom with a trans woman.

Mo is often either the butt of the joke, or receives a stark lesson in these interactions (whether by confrontation or just becoming socially isolated, because she's difficult to be around). And I found this framing important, especially as I've heard discussion of TERFs trying to claim Bechdel as one of them.

This comic was not made to validate Mo's opinions or feelings. The characters in Bechdel's comics are often messy, short-sighted, even bigoted. They're human. This comic does not valorize or 'condone' these flaws, merely shows them for what they are, as well as the consequences that come with them, and the effects they can have on your communities.

[Update Note: Recently learned some new things about Bechdel's feelings/choices regarding trans issues (particularly transmisogyny), link here if you're interested in reading. It seems that beyond DTWOF, Bechdel 'supports' trans people in an esoteric sort of way, but is seemingly unwilling to unpack deeper transphobic feelings/views, or her ties with TERF-aligned people. Deeply disappointing.

I don't think that impacts DTWOF itself much (except the framing of the character Janis, may make a post about that someday), as again all of the characters in DTWOF have wildly varying views, and that's The Point, but, it's something I think people ought to know if we're going to have a discussion about Bechdel in connection to TERFs and transmisogyny]

Transcript of the comic below the cut:

[ID: A "Dykes to Watch Out For" comic strip by Alison Bechdel, featuring the characters Mo and Lois. The conversation is as follows:

MO: Oh, jeez. Here's a submission for "Madwimmin Read" from someone named Jillian who identifies as a transsexual lesbian.

LOIS: Cool.

MO: The cover letter says, "I hope you'll consider changing the name of your reading series for local lesbian writers to be inclusive of transgender and bisexual women writers too." Oh, man!

LOIS: Guess it's time to get with the program, huh?

MO: What am I supposed to do? Have bi women and drag queens come in here and read about schtupping their boyfriends?

LOIS: Why not? I'm sure they'd have a unique perspective on the topic.

MO: Lois, I'm still trying to adjust to lesbians using dildos! What am I supposed to make of a man who became a woman who's attracted to women?!

LOIS: Love is a many gendered thing, pal. Get used to it.

MO: Well fine. Let people do what they want. But I'm not gonna add this unwieldy "bisexual and transgender" business to the name of my reading series. I don't even know what transgender means!

LOIS: It's sort of an evolving concept. I mean, we haven't had any language for people you can't neatly peg as either boy or girl.

LOIS: Like cross-dressers, transsexuals, people who live as the opposite sex but don't have surgery, drag queens and kings, and all kinds of other transgressive folks. "Transgender" is a way to unite everyone into a group, even though all these people might not self-identify as transgender.

LOIS: In fact, the point is that we're all just ourselves, and not categories. Instead of two rigid genders, there's an infinite sexual continuum! Cool, huh?

MO: How do you know all this stuff?

END ID]

[sharlsworld]

a digital love letter - ʟɴ4 ☆

✿ lando norris x influencer!reader

✿ a glimpse of all the post’s from when they were “just friends”, to there engagement announcement, to the announcement of there first child.

🝮

june 1st, 2020

lando.jpg

liked by pierregasly and 83,924 others

lando.jpg when i asked y/n if she wanted to quarantine with me i didn’t think it would be this long…

yn if you ask me to make one more batch of cloud bread i will lock you outside

⤷ lando.jpg well that’s awfully rude considering i offered you my home

⤷ yn you literally begged me to quarantine with you???

⤷ lando.jpg no need for the details

maxfewtrell couple goals

⤷ lando.jpg fuck off

hearts4lando “just friends” ok buddy 😭

beloved.hamilton just a COUPLE of friends!😄

charles_leclerc i think this quarantine has got your mind all mixed up cause…

lilac.leclerc there so oblivious 😭

f1wags i smell…a incoming wag 👀

🝮

august 10th, 2020

lando.jpg

liked by georgerussell63 and 984,118 others

lando.jpg took my girl to dinner and let her go shopping for her birthday…never again. she really knows how to spend money

carlossainz55 “my girl” ???

⤷ lando.jpg is she not my girl? she never leaves me alone

⤷ yn you give off this tough guy act like you don’t ask me to hangout every day

⤷ lando.jpg once again, no need for all the details jeez women

landolovesyn it’s the fact she literally makes so much money but he still wants to pay for her stuff really tugs on my heart strings 😪

sharls_lerklerk PAINFULLY OBLIVIOUS

pierregasly cmon mate

⤷ lando.jpg what?

landolovesyn Heather 🤩

🝮

january 1st, 2021

lando.jpg

liked by charles_leclerc and 1,746,023 others

lando.jpg happy new year bitches 🥳

yn been waitin for this one

⤷ georgerussell63 We all have

⤷ alex_albon seriously everyone

⤷ carlossainz55 Seriously

danielricciardo Took you guys long enough

⤷ yn 1 year is a reasonable amount of time

maxfewtrell NO PHOTO CREDIT?

⤷ lando.jpg no

lilymhe sooo when’s the wedding?

⤷ alex_albon watch they’ll probably get engaged this year

♥︎ by author

ynissocutiepatootie IT FINALLY HAPPENED

lovely_leclerc stop he took her to see the lights 😢

daddyricciardo i wonder how long they’ve been dating before deciding to go public

🝮

april 14th, 2021

lando.jpg

liked by yukitsunoda05211 and 824,722 others

lando.jpg i was feeling a little down today, but you DEFINITELY turned me on

yn can i help loosen your belt? it looks really tight 😉

⤷ lando.jpg you’ll never catch me saying no to that baby 😏

charles_leclerc Oh come on there’s children on this app lando

carlossainz55 I just opened the app mate

maxverstappen1 Well enough instagram for the day

georgerussell63 I could’ve lived the rest of my life without seeing this

⤷ lando.jpg don’t be hating

estiebestie lando is just a horny teenage boy honestly

♥︎ by yn

landowantsrizz i feel like i’m interrupting something…

hoeforsianzzz so there definitely getting down every night

♥︎ by author & yn

⤷ lilac.leclerc HELLO??? THESE BITCHES MUST BE GETTING DOWN LIKE BUNNIES

🝮

october 22nd, 2021

lando.jpg

liked by lewishamilton and 7,824,023 others

lando.jpg i couldn’t wait any longer

yn so impatient

⤷ lando.jpg i just couldn’t wait to call you my wife

⤷ yn good thing i said yes then

carlossainz55 Congratulations mate! 🎉🥂

♥︎ by author

lewishamilton Congrats man that’s amazing ♥️

♥︎ by author

maxverstappen1 Congrats bro ♥️

♥︎ by author

lilymhe the gold band 😨

⤷ yn ikr i was flabbergasted

♥︎ by author

charles_leclerc Congrats lando! ❤️

♥︎ by author

danielricciardo Let’s go boys 🥳

♥︎ by author

oscarpiastri Congratulations mate, i’m so happy for you 🧡

⤷ lando.jpg 🧡

maxfewtrell little lando norris finally grew some balls

⤷ lando.jpg i can never win 💔

mclaren To forever! 🧡

♥︎ by author

alex_albon i called it

♥︎ by author

landolovesyn the fact this has 7 million likes and he doesn’t have 7 million followers on this account 😭

lando.norizz THE GOLD BAND? LANDO NORRIS YOU’VE OUTDONE YOURSELF

sharls_lerklerk been here since the video of her accidentally dropping her hydroflask on his foot at one of the races in 2019😭

⤷ lando.jpg i still have the tiny scar on my little toe

🝮

january 1st, 2022

lando.jpg

liked by oscarpiastri and 792,614 others

lando.jpg happy new year bitches 👀

yn happy new year whore

⤷ carlossainz55 and to think you two are getting married soon…

charles_leclerc Oh thanks mate

⤷ lando.jpg i wasn’t talking to you

⤷ charles_leclerc Alrighty…

georgerussell63 This was such a elegant, mature post, until i saw the caption

⤷ lando.jpg you shouldn’t be surprised

landolovesyn literally all of his posts are about y/n

⤷ hearts4lando basically a fan page

estiebestie i’ll never get tired of seeing lando’s posts for y/n

carlando there relationship is so perfect

lilymhe don’t think just because you two are getting married that she’s yours

⤷ lando.jpg take the L 🤣

🝮

october 22nd, 2022

lando.jpg

liked by lewishamilton and 28,942,861 others

lando.jpg My greatest love, you are my one and only. From the day you dropped your hydroflask on my foot and laughed until you were crying I knew you were gonna be mine one day, I can’t think of anyone better to spend eternity with. In every universe, I will find you. When death takes my hand, I will hold you with the other, and promise to find you in every lifetime. I love you for everything you are, everything you have been, and everything you will be. You are my destiny, I love you endlessly. ♥️

yn ok…i’m literally sobbing right now i love you so much lando

⤷ lando.jpg i love you the most

danielricciardo Turned on auto caps for this one congrats man i’m so happy of you ♥️

♥︎ by author

lewishamilton I wish you two a lifetime of happiness and health ♥️

♥︎ by author

carlossainz55 To a lifetime of bullying each other! ♥️

♥︎ by author

charles_leclerc Little lando norris isn’t so little anymore? 😂 Congratulations man ♥️

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mclaren Congratulations lando & y/n! 🧡

♥︎ by author & yn

landolovesyn y/n norris 🥹

lando.norizz crying in the club

lilymhe she was mine first.

⤷ lando.jpg not even

lilymhe congratulations, i guess ♥️

♥︎ by author

alex_albon Congratulations lando ♥️

♥︎ by author

georgerussell63 Can’t believe how far you’ve came mate! Congratulations ♥️

♥︎ by author

francisca.cgomes such a beautiful wedding…should’ve been me and y/n’s but still! ♥️

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carmenmmundt Congratulations ♥️

♥︎ by author

🝮

february 29th, 2024

lando.jpg

liked by maxverstappen1 and 10,523,792 others

lando.jpg Mathéo Lee Norris. 2.10.23 ♥️

comments for this post have been limited

yn my boy 🤍 i love you lan

⤷ lando.jpg i love you the most baby

lilymhe cutest baby boy 💙

♥︎ by author & yn

charles_leclerc I bet he misses his favorite uncle already

⤷ carlossainz55 excuse me?

⤷ charles_leclerc your excused

⤷ maxfewtrell cmon guys, obviously i’m the favorite uncle

⤷ charles_leclerc no

alexandrasaintmleux cutie boy 💙

♥︎ by author & yn

carmenmmundt Mathéo is the cutest 🥰

♥︎ by author & yn

lewishamilton A gift from God ♥️

♥︎ by author & yn

alex_albon bro has more hair then me

♥︎ by author & yn

🝮

march 26th, 2024

lando.jpg

liked by carlossainz55 and 19,982,713 others

lando.jpg a digital love letter for you, the light of my life. my life long treasure of destiny. you are the greatest gift God has blessed me with. i love you endlessly ♥️

comments for this post have been limited

yn you sweet talker, i love you lan 🤍

⤷ lando.jpg i love you the most baby 🤍

landolovesyn guys…this might be heather

♥︎ by author

[eldritch-spouse]

Hello… Yeah, my boss wants me to *heavy sigh* “work late” again tonight… What choice?! ...*eyes water*… I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap at you… *wipes eyes*...Yeah, it is…*sees Pinter getting out of a meeting looking very irritated*...Sorry dear but I gotta get back to work… I love you too dear, bye-bye *hangs up phone and sighs*

[Mansplain manipulate manwhore time.]

Pinter exits the meeting room with a fearsome scowl.

Some saps just don't quite have the synapses to pick up on what the slime is putting down. Sometimes they're smart enough to realize they need to play along to keep even a shred of their earnings, other times they like to wave their little policies and evident breaches of contract in his face. Like they have a modicum of a choice here. Usually, this amuses the business shark, today it's just irritating him, if you had to guess.

The man who walked in with Pinter is waved away by the fuming monster, likely ordered to get him a drink. And fast.

His eyes scheme the room, and for a sliver of a second, you dare hope that he misses your presence entirely. You even settled by the water dispenser, like some kind of sad decorative plant.

No such mercy.

The slime's whiskers perk and he moves towards you, prompting you to shove your phone away.

" Get me that cunt's profiles again. " Pinter grumbles, adjusting his tie.

" Y- Yes sir. "

He sighs when the poor dude tasked with getting his coffee shows up, taking it and making yet another dismissive flick of the finger to let him know he should leave.

" That your boy calling you just now? "

Boy. Tch.

" No... No, it was just- "

" Don't lie to me, girly. " Pinter chuckles. " I knew you were going to call him when I told you to stay. "

He pauses enough to let you open your mouth but not to let you actually speak.

" You ever notice he always makes you feel like shit when you have to work late? Look at that little frown, hm. You didn't look like that before you called him. "

You huff. " N- No sir, he just cares for my health- "

Pinter laughs. " Oh, you're so cute. Sweetheart, he acts like a manbaby. I bet he got snappy about it again. What's he doing for you? Is he putting in extra hours too? No, I bet he's spreading his ass on the couch and muttering about his bitch of a girlfriend. "

Well, he did start bitching... And that gets on your nerves honestly. Wanting the conversation to end, you simply shrug and look off to the side, waiting.

Your boss beams out of you, jostling you to stand straighter than a plank when he claps a hand onto your shoulder.

" Jeez, you're going to put me in a bad mood like that. " You're pretty sure he's still fuming from that meeting. " How about we get something sweet from that pastry we passed by earlier, hm princess? "

You can't bring yourself to feel offended when that same hand moves to comfortably grab onto the meat of your waist.

[but-make-it-bi]

⚡️

Lisa Frankenstein x Creature

Summary: Creature get's his turn with the back massager. This is a little different from the og concept but I hope you guys like it!

18+ Smut Under the cut

Lisa was speechless. Not in just a heady post orgasm way either although, holy shit. Like, why was he so good at that anyway? Did he practice? Do vibrators feel good on guys? Is that a thing? Suddenly the confidence she’d been gaining vanished as she remembered how woefully inexperienced she was at this. What are you even supposed to say to someone who made you cum. Can’t say thank you, that’d be weird. And just saying goodnight seems rude… 

“ Okay your turn!” 

Lisa had gotten pretty good at interpreting her friends noises by now but this particular choked garble was new. His face though. That was easier to read full of shock and something deeper she didn’t recognize. She laughed in an attempt to diffuse the tension but it sounded even worse than his choking sound. 

“ It’s cool friends help friends. I’m not gonna just leave a friend hanging ya know?” , Jesus why is she saying friend so much.  “ Like I know blue balls is bullshit cause Taffy told me but if you wanted to I could I mean we could…”

Lisa trailed off. She felt more on display than when she was screaming at the top of her lungs. And it didn’t help that he was staring. He was always staring at her. Like she was doing something both fascinating and confusing. And he was still holding the massager. Gripping it hard like a lifeline in a storm. 

“ Easy there you might break it”, Lisa teased taking it from his hands. It was warm covered in her slick. A sight she felt strangely proud of as she looked at it. “ Need to clean it before you use it though.” Like with his tongue. Lisa dropped the toy like she’d been shocked. “ Um actually how but just an old fashioned back rub huh?”, moving behind him quickly. His skin was cold even beneath the pajama shirt. Muscles tight and stiff from years of disuse. Plus a few weeks cramped in a closet. 

“Jeez you really do need a massage”. He sighed contentedly in response. Lisa worked diligently as she could before admitting defeat. “ Ok I can’t- you just you have to take your shirt off.” Lisa worried the poor boy’s neck would snap with the speed he turned to meet her eye. “ Oh what now you’re shy? You weren’t shy when you were, you know. But if you want me stop-” 

Lisa inhaled his damp earthen smell as the shirt was thrown in her face. Wasn’t dirt supposed to smell bad? It didn’t. It smelled like the forest after the rain. Like a a sky that had cleared just for her. She was taking too long to take the shirt off her head.  

Huh.

Well, it wasn’t like Lisa hadn’t seen shirtless boys before. She’d been to a pool for God’s sake. But seeing a shirtless boy and having a shirtless boy in her bed. Well that was very different. 

He was full of scars. Some were red the only part of his skin that really looked alive. Others were dark and deep a few even looked like they were still open ready to bleed. But most of them were pale hard to even differentiate from the rest of him except by touch. Lisa felt the slight raise of them beneath her fingers. 

“Do they hurt?” His head tilted from side to side like he wasn’t sure. “Well tell me if I’m hurting you cause that’s kinda the opposite of what I’m going for here.”  His nod is accompanied buy an exhale through the nose. “ Don’t laugh! I’m trying really hard.” He raised his hands in a pacifying gesture letting her continue.  

“ I didn’t realize how fun touching someone would be. When I imagined it I always just kinda assumed the guy would be in control,”  Lisa mused. She felt him tense under him at this. “C’mon man, it’s 1989 you can’t get grossed out by a woman being in charge.” , Lisa said crossing her arms. He looked at her then even going so far as to turn around. “What?” He took her by the shoulders then looking even deeper in her eyes. “ Oh! Really? Well that’s, that’s very progressive of you.” He shrugged nonchalantly but his smile looked deeply self satisfied. 

“Does that mean I can boss you around?” His brow rose playfully as if say, you already do. Lisa’s laugh was genuine this time her confidence returning. He did kind of just let her do whatever she wants. It was freeing to not have to listen to whatever crap people thought was good for her. To get to decide. And not just for herself for someone else. Someone who looked at her like he did. Like he would be grateful for whatever she did. Like she was a fucking gift.

“Lean back.” He followed immediately, instinctually eyes never leaving hers. He had such pretty eyes dark brown with those long lashes. She wanted to touch them. His breath caught as Lisa gently grazed each lash with her thumb. She touched his cheek next it was softer than his back. No scars. 

“Open your mouth.” He was slower at this request. Nervous. Lisa traced small circles as she waited. She wouldn’t rush him. He gasped as his lips parted. Soft enough she didn’t even hear it, just felt it tickle her skin. “Good boy.” Her thumb skated on his bottom lip causing him to grip the sheet in response. Lisa couldn’t help but giggle at how easy he was to fluster. Beneath her thumb his lip jutted out poutyly. 

“Sorry! I’m not laughing at you. It’s just it can’t feel that good I’m barely touching you!” He scoffed in obvious disagreement. “I just wanna make sure you can handle it if I keep going.” His nod was adorably eager. He really would do whatever she wanted.  

Lisa leaned in giving him a soft kiss before biting down on the space where neck meets shoulder. Smiling to herself as she heard him moan in earnest. Deeper and needier than his little gasps from before. She bit his chest next not even bothering with a kiss first. Just teeth. She was trying not to break the skin but wondered vaguely if he’d even mind. Looking at his face she didn’t think so. Eyes closed, head thrown back as he arched into her. Disappointed didn’t quite cover the look on his face as she pulled away. 

“Sorry I just I need it to be my turn again.” She said grabbing his hand. Lisa shivered as ice cold fingers slipped beyond the waistband of her unnderwear. He looked for permission before moving any further. Lisa guided one of his fingers inside her in response. She already felt fuller than she ever had before with just one finger. She reached for him. Gripping his shoulder hard enough to leave marks. 

“More.” The finger inside her curled as he pushed another inside her. Lisa tried not to scream. Shoving her palm in to her mouth to stifle herself. He moved then. So slow it made her want to cry. “ Faster. Please.” It was still too slow so Lisa started grinding down desperately. Panting as she used his fingers. 

His other hand found her clit unbidden. Tentative and curious as Lisa moved even faster. “Yes yes” Adam’s movements were slow. A delicious contrast to Lisa’s pace and she knew she wouldn’t last much longer. She grabbed his chin looking at him.  “ You’ll let me do this again won’t you?” Nod.

“Good, I think you’re my new favorite toy”

[cherry-pop-elf]

Newly Made Man

Draco Malfoy x Professor!Reader

Inspired by this post, which is originally drawn by Antenna

Summary: Ivy, Daniel, and Olive (Weasley) have asked for you help catching a ferret. You needed an excuse to not do some paper work. Who knew helping a gaggle of kids could lead to a date

“Professor! Professor Professor Professor-!” You would hear the gaggle of students call for you. They always seem to find you whenever you weren’t busy. A mysterious talent they held. As if you would complain. You were once a Hogwarts student as well. You liked the adventure.

“Yes? Ah, you three.” You chuckled, as you saw the trio show up. A pair of red heads, and that silvery violet, right in front of you. The trio looked rather excited. Daniel seemed more so frustrated, Ivy curious, and Miss Olive had that look in her eyes that reminded you so much of the twins. You could only assume something will blow up soon.

“There’s a ferret, and it stole Daniel’s bag-!” Olive would inform you. That had Ivy giggle, as Daniel was getting more and more frustrated. The boy didn’t have the best family life. That bag was nearly all he had to call to his name, after all.

“Oh dear. We can’t have that, can we? Where was it last-“ Before you could even finish the sentence, something skittered between your legs. A clinking bag was being dragged in its mouth, as it ran. The clinking sounds had to be potions, which meant it was Daniel’s. Such a white blur.

“AFTER THAT RAT-!” The red heads screamed, as Ivy tried to clarify it was actually more closely related to a dog or cat than a rat. Jeez, whoever could be the Hermione of that trio?

With a fond smile, you were soon chasing after them. It was rather nostalgic. It reminded you so much of your days as a student. Having Hermione, Ron, and Harry chase after the likes of Malfoy. How often times many a fellow student would tag along, and it was almost a big game between everyone. Almost like capture the flag if you will. Never thought you would miss something like that.

“WATCH OUT-!” Was soon shouted by you, but they were moving too fast. The trio crashed right into a gaggle of other students. They were all in a clump, and groaning. You wanted to assign, but you didn’t want that ferret out of sight.

“IVE GOT IT-!” You reassured, as you kept chasing the creature. You wanted to try and fast a spell, but it seemed to zig zag infront of you. As if aware that you would attempt such actions. Might not be the first time this little devil caused some mayhem. Perhaps it was a students pet? Would explain why it seemed to know where it was going. Managing to avoid dead ends, and not go where there were stairs to slow it down.

“Will you get back here?!” You huffed, as it finally found a place to hide with the bag. Nice and cozy in a tree, at a familiar courtyard. Just snuggled into the branch. Taking a little yawn. As if bored, and ready to slip. Such a mocking thing. Having the bag just out of your reach.

“I swear, every white haired creature I deal with is a pain in the butt. One way, or another.” You huffed, as you just swore the ferret rolled its eyes at you. Seeming to not take your comment too lightly.

“What would you even need a potion bag for? Gonna make some potions?” You would say to the ferret. Wand in hand, and sass on full dial. Sure had the students in the court yard giggle at you.

“Where is your owner?” You asked, as if expecting an answer back. That’s when you looked around. Hufflepuff’s! They should know! Or at least know someone who would.

“Do you know who this ferret belongs to?” You would ask the students around you. After a few thoughts, and whispers, they all shook their heads. No one knew. How strange. White ferret’s aren’t uncommon, so you figured that someone would.

“This school certainly isn’t showing itself to have a good track record with ferrets. Huh? Hope you aren’t another turned student, who played dirty with the wrong crowd.” The knowing tone made said ferret stick its tiny tongue out at you.

“Sassy like the last one too.” A wag of your wand was given, as you were ready to try and cast a spell to get the bag back. Maybe it was something in your tone, but it seemed the ferret had enough play for one day. With its tiny nose, it would nudge the bag off the branch. Narrowly managed to understand what it was doing, and grabbed said bag. As if you needed potions to explode.

“Thank you.” You would give a dramatic bow, as if with a Hippogriff. Another stick of its tongue, before it took its chance to jump on you. Ran right all over your body, before curling around your neck. As if a little scarf. Wet little nose nuzzled your cheek, before it was ready for its nap.

“Cuter than the one I knew to.” You would give it a gentle pet, before going to try and hunt down those students. Quit the sporting look you held now. A pretty little neck piece, that was as blinding white as the clouds in the sky.

Was a rather peaceful walk, you couldn’t deny it. Just enjoying the fresh air. Along with having a companion to snuggle with. Tiny scratches to its little chin. Gave you happy chirps in return.

“Adorable thing. You remind me a lot of a companion I had in school. His name was Draco. Draco Malfoy. Prettiest man I had ever seen. So handsome, and sly. I wonder what life would have been like, if there was no war. So many confusing emotions at the time. Can’t love the enemy, as they say.” You sighed, as the ferret gave your cheek a little lick. As if to comfort you. It was accepted, as you gently brushed your finger down its spine.

“My bag-!” Daniel was quick to point out, and hardly gave you time to register he found you. It was in his hands again. Left to be hugged tightly. Certainly gave him a scare. Ivy was quick to pat his back, while Olive gave the ferret a suspicious stare.

“…….You look familiar-“ She muttered, only for the ferret to quickly hide itself in your robes. Made you giggle, as its little paws ran around your body. Poor thing seemed startled. Olive did have that effect. She was the daughter of George Weasley. That certainly made her friends of peeves. That alone says it all.

“Coward.” Another mumble was tossed, before she would give Daniel’s head a ruffle. The poor boys, pun intended, bag was returned. One of the few things he could call his own. A relief it was. That’s for sure.

“Thank you Professor…” Daniel sighed, as you nodded. Anything for the students.

“Does the ferret belong to anyone?” Ivy would ask, as you would get said rascal into your hands. Just dangling him around, as he looked at you with big silvery eyes.

“None of the Hufflepuffs I asked knew. Seems far too intelligent to just be a wild stray either. Seems well aware of the Hogwarts grounds as well-“ Before you finished, Olive stared daggers at the white furred menace. You heard of the story about the family rat, so you don’t blame her being anxious around creatures. Yet, that was a Weasley stare. A stare that could pull the truth out of you like any Veritaserum.

“Animagus…..And one that I know. Come on, Uncle D-!” She would poke at the ferrets little tushy. Made the small thing give a chirp of annoyance, as you blinked. Uncle D-? Uncle….No. White fur, silver eyes, knowing the Hogwarts layout….

The moment you dropped him, it was a whisper of black and white. As if a swirling mist. All the thematics, to show a slender figure in its wake. With long bleached hair, a tight black attire, with a silvery under bust to ever keep him tall and slender. If it wasn’t for that playful smile you would think it was Lucius.

“For a Weasley, you certainly know how to ruin the fun.” He scoffed at Olive, as she stuck her tongue out at him. Left you all a fluster. Given said ferret had been nuzzling and licking you, and the little secret you spilled.

“Woah…..Draco Malfoy….” Daniel was wide eyed. Of course he would. He himself was a potion prodigy. Much like the Weasley twins, and Draco, were when his age. It can’t help being admire. Sure fueled the man’s ego.

“And why is a Malfoy stealing random children’s bags?” You would puzzle, as he seemed to cringe at such a name. Lucius did make sure it was tainted. That was for certain.

“It’s Black, actually. Draco Black. Took on my mother’s maiden name, for obvious reasons.” He would grit. “-And as for the bag. Well, I was curious. Is curiosity a crime?” Ever the sassy one. Had you roll your eyes, as you jabbed him with your wand.

“Ow ow-! Ok, I did it because….I…Well-“ He swallowed, as the trio were wondering why a grown man would do such a thing. That is, until Olive started to giggle.

“You thought it was funny, huh? That’s something dad would do!” She kept giggling, as he was pink on the face. Guess Draco wanted to be a little bit normal, for once. Actually do pranks, and be childish. Least, that’s what you are getting. Olive did call him Uncle D. It had been so long since you last saw him. You swore he was sentence to Azkaban. Suppose it’s time to catch up.

“Tell him, and you are dead-“ He threatened, as Ivy soon had her wand drawn. Taking the threat rather literal. Had the older man throw his hands in mock defeat, at such a gesture.

“I’ll deal with him, you three hurry off now. It’s almost lunch. Go on-!” You would shoo, as they ran off. Daniel holding his bag tighter, Ivy with a scowl to the older man, and Olive with a two finger salute.

“So……Seems like you finally got along with those red heads…..” You said, as you started walking. He didn’t refuse the motion, and walked with you.

“It’s complicated…..I rather avoid the details. Potter was able to make sure my mother and I avoided Azkaban, and community service was applied instead. Thanks to Po….Harry-“ He would begin to explain his story to you, as you both walked.

A case of laying low, and rebuilding himself. A hard thing to do, given where his father was position in the death eater group. Regardless, you were happy for him. Suppose some exposure therapy to Harry’s family and friends was what he needed.

“Welcome back, than……It’s lunch time, so…..” You trailed off, as he stared at you with shock. Were you asking him out? Why? His name isn’t exactly clean, but well….You missed him. You knew that, deep down, he wasn’t truly a death eater. You do what you can to survive, and sometimes who you survive from is your own family.

“You are insane….Fortunately that was always something I admired about you, back then…..I’ll cover the meal. We-…George pays his employees rather well.” He admits, as you giggled. A smile was returned, as the two of you would make a right instead of a left. Not heading to that great hall, but that rebuilt wooden bridge. To go give Madam Rosemerta a friendly hello.

He’s a new man, after all, so why not allow for a new first impression?

[rowretro]

𝕆𝕙 𝕓𝕒𝕓𝕪 𝕓𝕒𝕓𝕪

WARNINGS: harassment

✧taglist✧:  @nikisdubblchococake @enhypensccstarlight @strawbsj @nikipedia07 

✧CHAPTER 8✧

It hasn’t been too long since the kidnapping, and now the only issue trapped in Riki’s hands was the baby issues. Adoption, weekly checks, etcetera, etcetera. He was 18, and therefore it was legal for him to have the baby around. As far as they’re concerned, you and Riki are a happy, healthy couple, who have the perfect environment for a baby. Though one thing was hitting him around the head. Seeing her with Sungchan.

It seems over these days, Sungchan had noticed that y/n and Riki are living together, and so he used this as his leverage, acting all innocent, and sweet boy around y/n… Pissing of Riki in the process. He’s not jealous, god he hates that girl why would he be?. He just doesn’t want anyone else being affected by his clash with a mob. He genuinely hates it, the 2 people he hates with his heart, smiling together. Maybe that’s what’s pissing him off

“Y/n where you off to?” Riki asked, eying her, her hair done in 2 butterfly buns, clothes a little too good to just go to the shops or run an errand “Just going to buy some groceries… Stay and look after the baby kay?” the girl said with a smile. Before she could leave, Riki held her wrist, pulling her back.  “No wait for us, Im bringing the baby, we can together.” He coldly said as the girl shrugged. She didn’t bother questioning him as it was reasonable why he wouldn’t want her going out alone.

The girl dressed the baby as they waited for Riki, and it didn’t take too long for him to get ready, but when he came out the girl’s jaw dropped. “You are NOT wearing that. You own a million hoodies and you choose one similar to MINE?!!!” she yelled as Riki scoffed “jeez you aren’t that special. I just threw on the first thing I got. Now get your ass up and let’s go” He simply said, smirking as he walked away. His trousers were similar to her skirt, his skeletal rib hoodie practically matching with the skeletal butterfly one she wore. This can’t be a coincidence.

Oh how bad the girl wanted to rip that smug smirk off of his face, everytime some people walked by, eyeing them and complimenting them “They’re such a cute couple” “their baby is so adorable” Riki just wished Sungchan was there to see them right now, the look on his face. The baby suddenly whined, picking her arms up at Riki. The male sighed and picked her up. “Why me? Why not the annoying one???” Riki asked the baby with a pout as she just snuggled Riki, staring up at him. When the male’s eye’s met the baby’s, she smiled shyly hiding her face in his chest.

As Riki walked around the store, following y/n with the baby in his hand, the girl threw in the necessary things ���Riki can you go get some ice cream? My usual.” She simply said as he sighed, carrying the baby as he went to the Ice cream aisle. “I have to get mint choco icecream for an annoying girl. With a baby in my hands, why did my life come to this?” he mumbled as the baby placed her hand on his lips, smacking them. “Jeez- ok I’ll shut up m’lady” he said as he opened the freezer with one arm.

The girl was just going through her shopping list, placing necessary items in the trolley. “Why is it so fucking high?” she mumbled to herself, trying to reach for the honey bottle. Seeing her struggle, a random male came up to her, hand going up from her waist to her stomach, under the sweater, as he got the honey for her. y/n flinched as she frowned at him “What was that for?!!” she asked as she frowned at him “what I was just getting your honey-” “n-no- you touched my waist!” The girl confronted the male scoffed.

“Wow, the audacity to blame me, everyone here saw. I was only helping you. Don’t be too full of yourself.” the man said as y/n just frowned at him, she looked around, feeling embarrassed as the others started gossipping. Around that time, Riki arrived at the scene with the baby, placing 3 tubs of ice cream in the trolley. “Wow. quite audacious of you to think you can touch any girl that’s standing alone and expect her not to react.” He simply said.

He wrapped a protective arm around y/n’s waist, pulling her into his embrace. “Fucking apologize to my wife or else.” Riki warned, glaring at the man as he bowed, apologizing to her before rushing off elsewhere. Y/n would’ve turned around and screamed at him for pulling such a stunt, but how could she when he practically just saved her from shame? Maybe Riki isn’t so awful after all…  

✧𝕆𝕙 𝕓𝕒𝕓𝕪 𝕓𝕒𝕓𝕪✧