#oh boy how i love posting fanfiction online on my own blog

[garf-lover96]

Vesuvia Weekly; Baby Fever (Rowan and Julian)

so, excluding my one single moment of weakness, they would definitely remain childless since Rowan doesn't find the idea of having a full human child of his own all that appealing. so i kind of worked around it?? there's less than 1k words here and a little bonus!

———

"Rowan, dear, do you recall if we have any apples at home? We could make that pie together-" Julian moves his hand to place it on his partner's shoulder and stumbles when his palm doesn't meet anything solid.

Has Rowan just wandered off somewhere? Or was it Julian that accidentally left him behind? He stops in the middle of the street as his grey eye darts around, scanning the marketplace for any sign of the tattletale braid. Rowan really couldn't have gone that far. He probably just zoned out by a stall with some trinkets...

After taking just a few steps back the way he came from, he notices the magician hunched over something very small in a narrow alley. At the sound of steps, Rowan gets to his feet and turns around to face Julian. He's seemingly cradling something in his vest.

"There you are! You know, I was worried you've abandoned me..." Julian exclaims with a cheeky grin and his eyes fall on the small thing being cradled by Rowan. Oh, wow, it looks bald...

"What in the world... You have an infant in your hands-" Julian starts with a mortified expression—the implications of an infant being left alone in an alley obviously being disturbing—only to get cut off by Rowan's instant cackle.

"Don't worry, it's a cat!", he reassures with some tears of laughter lingering in his eyes, "Well, still a kitten, really. She waddled right up to me a moment ago." he gets the kitty out of his vest to present her to Julian. She mews happily, seeming in good health and well fed, despite her present alley situation. Julian relaxes visibly, exhaling softly.

"As for her baldness or why was she in an alley..." Rowan shrugs a little, not knowing how to continue.

"...I can't say I've ever seen a bald cat in Vesuvia, particularly. It's kind of a rare breed..." he brings his hand up to stroke his chin in confused contemplation.

"That's why you assumed she was an infant..." Rowan snorts softly.

"It's not like a bald cat is that much more likely to find in an alley! I've only ever seen a handful of them, even with all of my travelling experience."

"Do you think someone abandoned her?"

"I doubt someone would want to abandon a beauty like her. Look at all those wrinkles! She kind of does look like an infant." Julian reaches a gloved finger out to the kitty and she catches it immediately, which makes both men widen their eyes in a moment of pure adoration for the little creature. Now Rowan isn't so sure if he'll be able to let her go so easily if the time comes.

"That said, I think you would look radiant with an actual infant in your arms." Julian looks up at Rowan with a teasing smirk.

"Well, the concept of caring for something so tiny, raising it, watching it grow..." Rowan trails off and his face scrunches up in a small smile as he keeps looking down at the kitten.

"Ah, then again, if nobody comes looking for her, we could just adopt this little baldie...", Julian says, but then quickly dismisses the thought "But to my knowledge, her breed is quite expensive. There's no way someone would just leave her like that. I'll bet she just wandered off from her owner and they're looking for her right now."

As if on command, two figures come rushing through the marketplace, asking every person in their way about something and gesticulating wildly a kitten-sized shape with their hands. Noticing them, Julian takes Rowan's hand and pulls him out of the alley, the kitty still happily cradled on his forearm. The moment he locks eyes with the pair, they come running up with looks of extreme relief on their faces.

"You found our little troublemaker! Damn it, she's been like this ever since she first opened her eyes, that one.", the shorter figure remarks while the taller one fetches a coin pouch from their coat and practically shoves it into Julian's face, "You have to accept our thanks, we don't know what would we do if she got lost for good!"

Rowan and Julian look at each other, wanting to check if they're on the same page. The kitten is already squirming her way out of Rowan's grasp to get to the pair so there isn't any doubt about them telling the truth. But should they take the gold...?

"Ehhh, it's fine, really... She was a treat to babysit anyway, even if for just a short while..." Rowan plucks the coin pouch from Julian's hands and gives it back along with the squirming kitten, with a slightly somber expression on his face.

"But we very much would like to know the story behind this! What's a kitten of this... Bald sort doing in a place like this?" Julian asks with a smile, obviously already making small talk.

"Ha, we rescued her mother from a poacher! Though, we had no idea what we were truly signing up for. We assumed she was just fat..."

As Julian chats with the pair cheerfully, Rowan just listens with an intrigued smile, gazing at the little kitty longingly from time to time. The conversation continues until Julian manages to remember that they still have shopping to do. They all say goodbye to each other and the owners of the kitten walk off back the way they came from.

"Damn it, we didn't even ask for any of their names..." Rowan mumbles sadly and leans against Julian with a huff.

"And so the cat is gone... Now who's going to be the pregnant one, you or me?" Julian nudges his partner with a snort.

"Gah, you just ruined it for me..." he smacks him back with a flustered smile.

and the bald kitty herself. in italian

[stackthedeck]

I posted 11,881 times in 2022

381 posts created (3%)

11,500 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@evilwickedme

@bi-dubmass11

@king-b0mbastic

@elytrians

@dingdongyouarewrong

I tagged 1,995 of my posts in 2022

#asks - 268 posts

#marvel - 71 posts

#matt murdock - 41 posts

#daredevil - 40 posts

#peter parker - 36 posts

#my fanfic - 32 posts

#spiderman - 31 posts

#fanfic - 30 posts

#marveledit - 21 posts

#not to be a lesbian but oh my god - 17 posts

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I made a survey about fanfiction bookmarking habits with the goal of finding out how people save and share fanfiction. I had 107 responses and 9 questions, two of which were completely qualitative, but 7 were quantitative with an option for qualitative responses. This was a rough initial survey and they're biased towards tumblr and tiktok users because those are the platforms I put them out on. This data should not be applied to the whole fan community, but they're interesting nonetheless

I promised y'all graphs so I'm going to throw them under the read more because oh boy

Analysis of the data but I encourage you to look at the results and draw your own conclusions: Fans tend to have some method of saving fanfics that they really enjoy. The bookmark feature on ao3 is the most used but it tends to be a passive action similar to pushing kudos rather than commenting or is used only for fics that are really special. If ao3 bookmarks aren't the primary means of saving a fic, downloading or bookmarking the tab tends to be the most common. Fans seem to be more open to talking about reading fanfic both online and with irl friends although this is still some level of secrecy around it. It seems social media has an impact on what fics get read

See the full post

151 notes - Posted November 15, 2022

#4

My reads on the superbats dynamics

Superman/Batman: coworkers at best, each other’s nightmare scenario at worst

Superman/Bruce Wayne: is the most powerful man on earth…the trophy husband of some weird goth billionaire??

Clark Kent/Batman: Clark “Pulitzer prize winning investigative journalist” Kent and Bat “world’s greatest detective” man are the absolute dream team these two kick ass

Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne: country boy/goth you know what I’m talking about

160 notes - Posted July 30, 2022

#3

Hello! I have come asking if you can do a fic rec for superbat pls? Idk I you do this on tumblr or only on tiktak but either way love your content wishing you a good day! 💖

I AM SO SORRY this has been sitting in my askbox for ages anon I hope you see this!! Like I adore superbat but I was really into them during my phase of not bookmarking anything so I had to dig through my history lmao

Exclusive by rotasha- one of my favorite superbats fics, the slowburn, the mystery around the identity, the angst about keeping secrets, Bruce struggling with being a parent for the first time, Clark bounding with Dick, UGH I LOVE IT

Interview with a Batman by Mithen- God I love Journalist Clark Kent and Batman being soft bro they make out in the batmobile it's so good!!

A Sense of Identity by DaaroMoltor- they start dating before either of them reveals their identity god the angst is off the charts!! And oh my gosh they're both written so well with all their different facets of identity

That Which We Call a Rose by arysteia- I love the way it jumps through time and explores the dynamics of a love square with two people and all the ways their lives intersect

Man of Steel, Man of Heart by capsicleonyourleft- there's so much to love in this fic but I want to give a shout-out to the fight scenes because yes that is exactly how batman is supposed to fight and I want to drill it into the heads of anyone that makes a batman movie and BRUCE HAS A COMPETENCY KINK

Stuck in the Middle (With You) by TheResurrectionist- batfam shenanigans and Clark is there to witness his stepkids (anything with the tag Tim v Damian: Dawn of beating the shit out of each other is excellent lmao)

275 notes - Posted August 22, 2022

#2

Marvel made Matt Murdock a whore because any person in the 80s/90s would see a guy dressed in a bright red bodysuit specifically made to look like the devil because said guy has a complicated relationship with religion and by his nature he feels that he’s already damned and the guy has an absent mother, a dead dad, and was mentored by an emotionally unavailable older man and be like yeah that’s a homosexual

395 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Goncharov posting brings a completely different new interesting angle to your what is fanfiction question. If we agree that fanfic has to be based or inspired by a different media, then what is goncharov fanfiction? Does the media have to exist for it to have a transformative Fandom?

aaaah anon I love you so much thank you so much for bringing this to me!! Okay, so my definition of fanfiction is fiction written by self-professed fans in a fandom specific context. So I'm a fan of Spider-Man, I write fiction about Spider-Man to post on ao3 for other fans to read. If marvel hired me to write a Spider-Man comic, I'm still a fan who is writing fiction, but I'm no longer doing it in the context of fandom.

So with that definition in mind, we need to categorize what the fuck Goncharov is. So in my mind, Goncharov is a meme, but it is also the practice of collective storytelling, really no different functionally than Arthurian folklore or any mythology that's been taken out of its original context. We all looked at a pair of boots and said let's write a story together, that's not that different than looking at a mountain and connecting it to the legitimacy of English kings. Goncharov is myth/folklore just very recent and on the internet.

So there is fanfic of Goncharov on ao3. If someone calls their own work fanfic, then it is fanfic. People are not writing these fanfics to add to the folklore, they're not claiming that what they're writing down is canon, rather they're claiming to be building off the canon (that doesn't exist in the sense of the movie, but does exist in the sense that we've all agreed on some sense of truth to it). But because the transformation of the fiction is happening at the same time as the fiction is being defined, the transformation is influencing the collective telling. What is the truth of this story we've all agreed on and what is the fan interpretation in the form of fiction?

In the sense that fandom culture is baked into the creation of this collective myth, all of Goncharov is fanfiction. But because we all have equal creative power over the truth of the fiction, none of Goncharov is fanfiction. Both things are true at the same time. Schrodinger's fanfic if you will.

404 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[johns-prince]

Not to name names but some y'all get so goddamn pissed and peeved over seeing Paul drawn pretty and even somewhat effeminate, or even described so in fanfiction, even though it's just, visible, objective fact Paul is a very, very pretty boy (John did say Paul's the prettiest so yeah it's fact sorry 💋) and he's just naturally effeminate in his body language and mannerisms (which last time I checked in this day and age, there's nothing wrong with effeminate men, pretty men, because at the end of the day they're unquestionably still men)

That or y'all just a bunch of jealous biddies over other artist's creations and work, use all that as an excuse to shit on and scold/lecture and even ridicule them (and anyone else who loves the fact Paul is simply pretty and could be rather effeminate) and then feel artistically and morally superior, as a fan of the band and it's members.

"You're fetishizing Paul by drawing him too pretty and effeminate!—" uhugh bitch, is you blind?

You wanna talk about fetishizing?

The spicy artwork? Spicy fanfiction of the Beatles? Artists who constantly draw fanart of them? Bloggers who post and reblog photos of the boys or their favorite boy constantly? The hyper fixation many if not ALMOST ALL OF US have on them? The obsession? The lusting? The fangirling?

Beatle-mania?

That's “fetishizing.”

Nobody in this damnable fandom is guiltless from “fetishizing” not just one boy, but all of them.

I've literally seen so many fanarts of John being overly feminized and turned into your “fetishized clingy-baby-boy-bottom,” and yet have not seen hide nor hair about that from these blithering-bitching hypocrites who bemoan about the “fetishizing” of Paul.

First off who the fuck gave you the fucking authority? Who the absolute FUCK are YOU?

No wonder so many artists are being driven out! Stop creating content for us and leave the online fandom!

Let people draw The Beatles however the Hell they want!

You don't like it?

Then fucking S T U F F IT and piss off!

Go find an artist you do like or maybe make your own bloody content, and stop acting like you have some goddamn higher authority over how the boys ought to be portrayed and drawn in goddamn fanart.

Jesus Christ on a bike, I personally dislike/squick a little at seeing overly-feminized-clearly-bottom John in fanart, and in fanfiction, but y'all don't see me going around tryin' to tell people they can't create content like that because it OfFeNdS me or because it's ““fetishizing”” John's vulnerable and soft side. Go around actin' like I'm somehow ~superior~ or some shit because I don't do that or write John “like that,” or what have you.

I know not everyone will draw or write the Beatles, or my favorite Beatle, how I might like and expect, and that's just how it's fucking gonna be! Oh well! ¡Que sera sera!

I just ಠ_ಠ and ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and move on.

People are just trying to enjoy themselves and here I see y'all giving brownie points to a bunch of circle jerks who think because they draw Paul the "right" way, then any other way is “fetishizing” when they themselves literally fetishize the boys or their favorite Beatle every time they post fanart all the time or make posts fangirling and lusting/obsessing after them all day every day on their blogs.

[thetypedwriter]

All the Young Dudes Fanfiction Review

All the Young Dudes Fanfiction Review by MsKingBean89

So. 

This is a first. 

If you’ve been following this blog for some time, then you know I generally read young adult books and write far too lengthy reviews on them with the occasional outlier of adult fiction, mystery, sci-fi, etc. 

At any given time, I usually have both a physical book that I’ve bought from somewhere that I’m working on (right now it’s Firekeeper's Daughter by Angeline Boulley) as well as a fanfiction that I reserve until before I go to bed (my treat for a day well lived). 

Fanfiction is something that I’ve mentioned copious amounts of times on this blog in varying degrees, but this is the first time I’ll be writing an actual review for one of them on this platform. 

The reason for this is myriad. 

One, this fanfiction called All the Young Dudes is a far-cry from your normal standardized fanfiction of 5-50,000 words-something I can easily consume in a few minutes to a few hours. 

Nope, this behemoth ends on a staggering 526,969 words and 188 chapters, not including bonus chapters and extra in-universe canonical content the author has also written and published. Roughly speaking, if this was actually published onto paper it would be well over 2,000 pages. 

2,000 pages. 

Yeah. And I enjoyed every single moment of it. 

Two, while I read a lot of fanfiction I generally don’t put any of it on this blog because while I’ve dedicated it to published novels, I also usually have very simple feelings about fanfiction. My thoughts run the gambit of: It was good, it was fluffy, it was a train-wreck, so on and so forth. 

Normally my reviews are so long and wordy because I have too many thoughts about the published books that I read and I need an outlet to let them loose. 

Whether because of its longevity or because of its content, All the Young Dudes is a story I find myself having a profusion of thoughts for. Hence, the birth of this review. 

If fanfiction isn’t your thing, feel free to skip this particular review of mine (although fanfiction is a gift to this world and you should really rethink your stance on it if you don’t like it, just saying). 

Third, All the Young Dudes is well written and rivals any actual published content. 

Fourth, because of how extensive this fanfiction is, it took me over a month to read it-time I generally would have been reading something else. Instead of leaving you all hanging for a few more weeks until I finish Firekeeper's Daughter (don’t hold your breath-the book is sort of a slog for me personally right now), I decided to just take the jump and write my first-ever typedwriter review for a fanfiction. 

Fanfiction has been a part of my life for the better part of almost two decades now. It was truly something I found by accident and in retrospect, it’s insane to me that it’s still something that brings me continuous joy and happiness. 

I discovered fanfiction when I was 11-years-old and deeply obsessed with the Harry Potter fandom. 

Now, as an overall disclaimer I completely disagree with J.K. Rowling’s stances of gender and biology and differ wholeheartedly with her views of trans and non-binary individuals. With that said, I still love Harry Potter as a story and while I no longer buy anything that profits J.K. Rowling directly, I still love the fandom and the people in it, including fanworks like All the Young Dudes. 

When I was 11, the seventh Harry Potter book had yet to come out and like many other people in this time period of agony while waiting for 2007 to roll around so that I could find out what happened, I discovered fanfiction as a way to fill in that ache I was so keenly feeling. 

I found myself suddenly immersed in this world of online fiction-both good and bad-but completely entrancing all the same. 

I never left. 

That is to say, I did eventually move onto other fandoms with their own fanfiction cultures, but Harry Potter was still my first in terms of fanfiction and introducing me to the concept as a whole. 

Specifically and maybe oddly, I never found myself curious for actual fanfiction about Harry or Hermione or Ron. In my mind, I already knew what had happened to them and reading about them in fanfiction was redundant. 

In addition, the first fanfiction I just happened to come across was a Lily/James marauder era fanfiction on mugglenet.com

This idea immediately intrigued me as fans as a whole knew next to nothing about the infamous Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs and while I knew everything I needed to about Harry Potter it was intoxicating to think that I could learn about a time before the series had existed and about characters who were important, but off screen. 

I was hooked and devoured as much as I could for most of middle school about the marauders and Lily and James’ romance in particular (I even wrote and published some of my own that will go unmentioned as they are truly really terrible). 

That being said, I haven’t read a Harry Potter fanfiction in years. I grew up and out of the fandom eventually thanks to Twilight and from there I’ve bounced from fandom to fandom as I’ve aged and consumed different things and fallen in love with different characters and different worlds. 

That isn’t to say I’ve forgotten though. 

I still remember my favorite marauder stories, my favorite Sirius Black/OFC (original female character), and my favorite baby Harry drabbles. They made such a huge impression on me and even though it’s been sixteen years, I still recall those stories with fond nostalgia and jubilation. 

Which is why it’s almost ironic that I would return to this particular time period of the marauders with All the Young Dudes. 

In a fashion that’s almost scarily full circle, I happened to be on Youtube one day and saw a recommendation video about this girl reviewing a fanfiction called All the Young Dudes. Now, youtube book reviews aren’t uncommon, but a thirty minute video for a fanfiction? Not your typical sighting. 

So out of pure curiosity, I searched All the Young Dudes fanfiction on Google and low and behold the overwhelming and top results were all for a marauder-era fanfiction by MsKingBean89. Piqued, I clicked on the link in ao3 and thought why not? 

While I’ve mainly been reading in other fandoms recently (BTS, some anime and manga, All for the Game) I had been in a little bit of a slump for finding a really good, really alluring story for some time and really didn’t think I had anything to lose by reading All the Young Dudes, especially as the more research I did, the more I found how popular it was-a plethora of videos on youtube, tiktok compilations, and dozens of fanart posts. 

Plus, it had been so long since I had read anything from my progenitor fandom and the thought of going back was strangely comforting.

Hence the journey of reading All the Young Dudes began and oh what a journey it was. 

Now, that this review is already five pages in, I should probably tell you what on earth All the Young Dudes is actually about. 

The whole story is a marauder-era fanfiction told from Remus Lupin’s POV from the summer of 1971 when Remus is 11-years-old to the summer of 1995 when he is 35-five-years-old. It is an in-depth portrayal of Remus’ time at Hogwarts from year one to year seven and then going all the way up to the start of the second wizarding world, ending around the time Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix begins. 

While already the scope makes this a massive undertaking, the author also includes all canonical content from the original series involving Remus, the Marauders, and the time period and incorporates it into her fanfiction-making it canon compliant from start to finish. 

While a very large portion of this story is not romantic, there is eventual WolfStar (Remus Lupin/Sirius Black) and if you have read the original Harry Potter series...well. You know things don't end up super dandy for these two characters in particular so you know how the story will end before it begins. 

This fanfiction left me speechless for so many reasons. 

The scope and length is frankly unbelievable. This fanfiction was published on March 2, 2017 and it was completed on November 12, 2018.

….how?

How did she manage that? I frankly have no idea, but I am in complete and utter awe at her ability to write content with such a magnitude and actually complete it. She gets an award just for that honestly. 

Not only that, but the fanfiction is actually superbly well-written. I won’t lie and say it’s the most poignant and beautiful piece of literature I’ve ever consumed, but it was consistent in its pacing, characterization, themes, motifs, and structure, which, for 2,000 pages, is an incredible achievement when you think about it. 

Speaking of characterization, everyone was So. Well. Done. 

Remus was such an interesting POV to read from and while he was compliant in every sense of the word-werewolf, prefect, bookish-MsKingBean89 added so much more to his character and fleshed him out so incredibly that it’s truly tragic that he’s not a real person. 

And to that extent, she does this with all of the characters. You see James’ optimism and leadership, Sirius’ arrogance and loyalty, Peter’s jealousy and chess skills. 

Every character was so well-rounded and real. She did an incredible job of taking the bits and pieces from the canon series and using that to build up her own flesh and blood people with motivations, likes, dislikes, dreams, and desires. 

That being said, she also had 2,000 pages to do it sooooooo it would be bad if the characters weren’t fleshed out by the end honestly. 

In addition, I really appreciated that she didn’t just focus on Remus, Sirius, James and Peter. Lily Evans played a critical role in Remus’ school life and after and so did the other Gryffindor girls like Marlene and Mary. 

Too often, the focus is on the boys and their close friendship and while that was a huge focus, we also get to see Remus develop friendships with the girls in his own right and other friends as well that were often OC’s of the author’s. 

Now. OC’s are generally something I dislike. I’m reading fanfiction to read about particular characters that I’ve sought after, not to read about some imaginary cast. However, just like any of the canon characters, all of the OC characters were well-developed and played crucial roles in Remus’ development-while either at Hogwarts or after-and I found myself not minding them in the least. In a few cases (Grant) I actually really loved them. 

The biggest draw for this fanfiction for me was Remus’ time at Hogwarts. It was so well-written and incredibly descriptive and I found myself thrust back into the world of magic so suddenly and seamlessly that it was like I never left. 

MsKingBean89 includes so many intricate details and builds up the world so beautifully that I’d recommend any Harry Potter fan to consume it, just to get some good Hogwarts material out of it. 

Another thing I greatly appreciate about this fanfiction was the slow burn. I’ve read slow burn before (All for the Game trilogy anybody?), but this truly took the cake. Sirius and Remus don’t properly get together until the end of year six going into year seven. That’s over 100 chapters in. 

100 chapters out of 188. 

Meaning that over half of this beast doesn’t have the main pairing even together. For some people, this could be a drawback. You might think to yourself: It takes how long for them to confess their feelings and stop being prats?

A very, very long time. 

However...it didn’t bug me. I like slow burn to begin with, but being along for the ride as Remus goes from being a child to an adolescent with unrequited feelings to being in a relationship with someone he loves is so rewarding and fulfilling that the 100 previous chapters are completely and utterly worth it. 

MsKingBean89 develops them so well and so carefully that the payoff is so sweet and satisfactory that it's enough to bring the tears right then and there. 

The last huge feat of this fanfiction for me was the author’s dedication to canon not just confined to Hogwarts and the Harry Potter books, but also to the time period. Either she lived through the 70’s and 80’s herself or she had done her due diligence when it comes to research because anything from London anti-gay laws to British slang was commonplace in her fic. 

I found it completely amazing how she was able to tie in real-time historical and cultural moments like famous singers and movies playing at the time alongside convoluted muggle politics warring with the wizarding ones. 

I was so blown away by the accuracy and genuine love behind this fic that it often brought me out of my own mind to simply ponder once again how much work this was and how well she was delivering it. 

Even unpleasant things, like homophobia and bigotry, are dealt with in a very carefully constructed way that is aligned with the time period in which the story takes place. 

Unfortunately, everything beautiful is not without flaws and All the Young Dudes is not the exception, although it’s flaws are nary compared to its achievements. 

The few complaints I have with this fic are honestly quite negligible. 

First, there are a few grammatical and punctuation errors. Very few, but I did notice some. 

Next, and again, this complaint is really just me whining, but...the end of the fic was really fucking sad. The end of this whole story took me so much time to complete simply because I didn’t want to read it. 

I know what happened during the first wizarding war and I also know what ended it (James and Lily Potter dying, Harry being shipped off to the Dursley’s, Sirius imprisoned for a murder he didn’t commit, Peter presumed dead) and in one fell swoop Remus lost everything and everyone he ever loved. 

After spending over 1,500 pages of Remus growing to love these people it is absolutely devastating and heart-breaking to see him lose it all. 

The last handful of chapters are just really, really sad and it makes me wonder why MsKingBean89 decided to write it in the first place. Frankly, I don't know why she didn't write about Remus’ time at Hogwarts and stop after graduation because we all know what happens after that and none of it is good. 

Looking back, I wish I could time travel and tell myself to stop at chapter 150. I truly didn’t need to read about the tragedies that happened after that and the hell that all of the characters go through. 

And while it does end on a….sort of kind of maybe positive (?) note with Sirius and Remus reuniting briefly once the events of Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban take place, it was really tainted and bittersweet for me knowing that in a year Sirius would die and Remus would marry his fucking cousin and have a child. 

Urgh. 

I just can’t. 

That being said, I understand it’s not the author’s fault and I’m not saying it is. She wrote a canon compliant fic to the end and it was my choice to continue reading. That being said, she said she ended it before the events of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix because Sirius and Remus are happy and back together and she didn’t want to write what was coming next if she continued. 

I truly, truly get that. 

But in the same vein, why even write the events of the first wizarding world to begin with then? I’m confused with that response as it doesn’t make much sense to me. I felt like ending it right then and there was not a happy ending. They’re together, yes, but at this point they are both shells of who they used to be. Both have severe trauma and PTSD and frankly I don’t even know if I agree with them being together just because they’ve put each other through so much. 

It’s just an interesting choice at the end of the day in terms of the author. 

Once again, however, I truly understand that she can do whatever she wants and that she doesn’t owe anyone anything, especially as she’s writing this for free and just because. So please keep in mind that although I’m complaining, I truly understand how fortunate we are to even have this fic in the first place. 

Okay. 

Secondly, my only other huge complaint is that MsKingBean89 made Remus gay. Not bi, not pan. Gay. 

You could argue that Remus just calls himself gay in the fanficiton as he didn’t know about other kinds of sexuality. You could argue that Remus’ sexuality changes and develops as he ages and experiences trials and tribulations. You could argue that it was a sign of times like so much else in this fic. 

I frankly just found it to be a frustrating choice as the fic is canon compliant and even though it ends before the events of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows we know that Remus eventually marries Tonks and has a baby son named Teddy Lupin. 

How does that make sense?

I tried very, very hard to come up with some sort of feasible explanation for how a gay man would have ended up with the love of his life’s female cousin and truly could not think of one that was not fucked up to some degree. 

Again. I know I’m being nit-picky, but it irked me that she made this choice regarding Remus’ sexuality and essentially ended her fic with Remus stuck in a corner regarding how the series actually ends. 

At the end of the day, all of the negatives are truly, truly not important. I’m just whinging to whine and to express my thoughts, but I do once again understand that MsKingBean89 isn’t profiting from this fic and that she can do what she wants as is her prerogative. 

I hope I was able to express that while I understand that, I can still be frustrated with some of the choices she made. 

To wrap this all up, All the Young Dudes is a masterpiece and is a must-read for anyone who loves Harry Potter, the Marauders, or Wolfstar. I was blown away by the sheer magnitude, the love and care she put into her craft, the slow and deliberate development of all the characters, the beautifully constructed love between Sirius and Remus, and the intricate world-both muggle and magic-that surrounded the story like a cocoon. 

I am so happy I found this fic and I truthfully am floundering at what to do with myself next. If you have any more current Marauder era fics that I’ve missed out in the past eleven years, please don’t hesitate to let me know. 

Recommendation: Go read All the Young Dudes. For weeks, you will cry, you will laugh, you will despair, and you will smile. This fanfiction will make you wish this was canon and in my mind, it now is. 

Score: 8/10

Links:

1. All the Young Dudes on ao3 

2. The Youtube Video about All the Young Dudes that made me aware of its existence 

[wolfstar-in-color]

July Creator Spotlight: Desicosplay

Hello, lovely people, and welcome to our second creator spotlight!

Each month, we will highlight a different creator in our lovely fandom who features diverse characterizations of Sirius and/or Remus. We will invite you to get to know them better through questions and answers, Fandom Discourse(tm), and a featured prompt created by our guest.

For our second spotlight, we are absolutely honoured to having the presence of @desicosplay, an incredible cosplayer and writer that if you don’t follow, you should do right away. They’ve gifted us with many, many amazing gifsets, a lot of them about Sirius. Below you’ll see a little snippet of the interview and Mastani’s prompt. Under the cut you’ll be able to read the full interview. Don’t forget to share and interact with this post, and if you have anyone you’d like to recommend for a spotlight, shoot us an ask!

“Diversity means celebration. So in fan spaces, that means actively seeking out creators that you might otherwise miss. It means trying out new perspectives, or listening to new perspectives on your favorite characters. It means standing with your peers, being loud in your love and support of them. I’m not saying you have to reblog or comment on everything. Diversity is not just visual, it’s also mental. Diversity needs to be intentional and active, even if that takes place just in your head.”

Mastani’s prompt: Muggle AU! Sirius and Remus at Harry’s sporting event!

Hi! I’m Mastani, she/they/he pronouns, I’m a 1.5/2nd Generation Indian-American, and I cosplay and write fanfiction!

Q: How did you start creating in the fandom? What did you wish to bring into the fandom?

A: Almost five years ago, Laina @ohtheclevernessofme1972 convinced me to join the HPRP community. She and everyone else were so supportive of my desire to bring my culture and background to the Harry Potter characters. Eventually, I also started writing fanfiction again!

Q: What things about s/r as characters or in their relationship inspire you to create around them?

A: I think that they are very complex characters that really demonstrate how external factors affect your life, whether you like it or not. Their relationship, whether platonic, romantic, or anything in-between or outside, is also so fascinating in its potential to evolve. Wolfstar is constantly changing, and all its interpretations are totally feasible to imagine.

Q: What things would you like to highlight about the Wolfstar fandom and your experience in it?

A: My main dips into the fandom are when I cosplay Sirius, and every time, I feel so much love. The fandom is so open to any interpretations of Sirius, and it does wonders to make someone feel accepted.

Q: What type of content do you wish you saw more in the fandom?

A: This is entirely self-indulgent, but Godfather/Uncle!Sirius just make me feel so warm inside. There’s a love inside Sirius that only gets touched upon inside the books. AUs where he gets to interact with Harry as a child or teen outside the pressure of a war are just so calming and warming.

Q: What is your favourite wolfstar fancontent (fic/fanart/gifset/etc) and how does it inspire you?

A: Y’all, I have so many Wolfstar fics saved that are just stunning and several that are comfort fics. I think the biggest takeaway from all of them is the comfort the boys find in each other. All of them are AUs, and I’m inspired to depict my Wolfstar as something kind, gentle, and communicative.

Q: Which of your own identities inform your creative processes? How has that process been for you?

A: All of them! But more specifically, my racial background informs most of my process. My process is… Sporadic, to say the least. However, when I do get struck with an idea, I have to create it almost instantly. One example, Wolfstar-related, is that my Sirius cosplay has long hair, half-up in a bun. I feel like desi!Sirius would celebrate his heritage by growing his hair long, which also is a nice, “screw you,” to societal and familial constraints.

Q: What advice do you have for other content creators with diverse backgrounds in the fandom? What would you say to people that might feel they don’t have the “right” history/experience/characteristics to participate in the creation of content related to Wolfstar?

A: think the best advice for participation I have comes from the iconic Jay @siriussly-serious, Rest in Power. “Go. Get in. Dive in. Fucking head first. Fuck that, cannonball your butt right in there and make a damn splash…” There is no, “right,” history/experience/background. These characters are fictional, but they can reflect our world. Our world is not homogenous. So why should fictional worlds and characters be that way? These stories are ours, and we shape them to be whatever we want them to be. If you want to create, that’s all the prerequisite you need.

Q: How could we build a more diverse fandom?

A: This blog is a great example of how to build a diverse fandom. Celebrating creators with diverse backgrounds and being loudly supportive of them makes us want to stay. Finding communities that celebrate, not just accept, can make a world of difference. So, raise your voice and love on your favorite creators.

Q: What’s your favourite thing to modify in Sirius’s or Remus’s characterizations to bring new perspectives to them?

A: I’m a huge communicator, so improving character communication is something I love to do. I like to create fluff, and this change lets me focus on the gentler parts of Sirius and Remus, or the parts that need some love, e.g. mental health. It also lets me flesh out their senses of humor more, like their dislike of cats (in my headcanons).

Q: What does diversity mean to you? What does that encompass in fanish spaces?

A: Diversity means celebration. So in fan spaces, that means actively seeking out creators that you might otherwise miss. It means trying out new perspectives, or listening to new perspectives on your favorite characters. It means standing with your peers, being loud in your love and support of them. I’m not saying you have to reblog or comment on everything. Diversity is not just visual, it’s also mental. Diversity needs to be intentional and active, even if that takes place just in your head.

Q: What are your ideas about the notions of culture and ethnicity? How do you relate to those notions?

A: I find culture and ethnicity to overlap in many ways, as they both pertain to group characteristics. I’m not an anthropologist, so I don’t know the detailed differences between the two. However, in my quick searches, it feels, to me, that culture is a bit broader and ethnicity is more geographic. So, I’m culturally Indian-American and ethnically Gujarati Indian (Gujarat is the state in India). I find these notions to be helpful when defining and describing my experiences. For example, among desis (and other brown folks), saying I’m generation 1.5/2 tells them that I straddle American/Western and Indian culture. If I tell another Indian that I’m Gujarati, they instantly know the kind of foods I grew up with and the language my parents speak. It’s a streamlined way of explaining my experiences, and as a science brained person, it makes life easier for me.

Q: Is there a page/organization/institution you would recommend for fans to search/read when it comes to learning about diversity?

A: With the tool that is social media, there are so many activists and creators that are willing and able to teach about diversity. On my page, I keep a page titled, “Resources for Justice.” This page has a wide variety of social justice resources on it. Google is great, but you also want to cross-check your sources. However, I feel like the best way to learn is to ask questions. Do so respectfully and ensure the person you’re asking has the energy/time/compensation to answer. Especially if you’ve done some research ahead of time, I find that many folks are willing to have a discussion - but again, check with the person first. Trust is paramount in these conversations.

Q: Is there a project/organization that you want to hype?

A: Oh, I could name so many. However, the ones I want to shout out here are Chrysalis - Gender Identity Matters and Raze Collective. As many of you know, Jay @siriussly-serious passed away recently, and in his name, we’re promoting/donating to these charities. Chrysalis - GIM offers online and in-person mental health support for trans and nonbinary people in his area and Raze Collective supports LGBTQIA+ performers. Ami @ami-acts and a few others (I apologize for not remembering exactly who - I’ll message the mods if I remember/please add on if you know) organized this. Links are below.

Donate to Chrysalis - GIM here.

Donate to Raze Collective here.

Q: Leave us with a quote or work of art that always inspires you

A: Is it too cheesy to say all of our fandom? To be totally honest, that’s who/what inspires me most of all. It’s a work of art, all the people in it make our fandom a work of art!

[yvesdot]

11/11/11 tag

Thanks, @writingamongther0ses​! I’ll just be answering the 11 questions, since I’m a touch short on time ^__^ Anyone who wants to answer the same is free to say I tagged them!

Original rules:  Answer the 11 questions, make up your own 11 and tag 11 people.

What are your favorite genres to write?

Speculative fiction. I enjoy the freedom of using just a little science fiction or fantasy to enhance the depth of emotional expression in an otherwise realistic story. Forest Castles gets an allegorical sentient forest, KAY has explosive capitalist sci-magic, and... well, house prices seem to be very low in Sometimes it Happens.

What do you write the most? (books, short stories, poetry, fanfiction…)

Well, that depends. I write more short stories, but spend more time on novels. I don’t have a particular favorite, though I appreciate the speed of short stories and flash fiction.

What are your favorite tropes?

Found family, unconventional-beauty-is-best-beauty, subverted bad boys, enemies (rivals, dimwits) to lovers, slow burn, only one bed.

What genres do you dislike?

You know, every time I list one, I find an exception. 

What’s your writing process like? (outlining, pantsing, plantsing, structures, worldbuilding,…)

Oh, I hope to eventually write an entire post on this. Usually an interesting character or relationship idea -> digging for conflict potential -> coming up with main conflict -> outlining with Save the Cat! beat sheet -> drafting.

What’s your favorite way to get writing advice? (books about writing, youtubers, podcasts, creative writing courses, blogs etc.)

I find personal (asked-for) critiques to be very helpful. I’m at a point now in particular where the most helpful way for me to spend my time is on specific issues that I have, as opposed to reading general writing books which may give me one or two tips. I also enjoy reading fiction books which do something spectacular and dissecting them to find out how.

What inspired your current WIP?

Let’s say Forest Castles-- I don’t understand why YA featuring M/F love triangle romances has to be so bad. Why does it have to be bad? What if it wasn’t bad. I know a lot of people want to do away with these things entirely; personally, I quite like the idea of simply making them good.

And let’s say KAY-- I really love an unconventional pair; 2009 emo x 1860s dandy seems about the best you can get. I wanted to see what I could do with that sort of pair, and then things snowballed.

What are some of your favorite books?

Oh, you can’t do this to me! Let’s say The Coldest Girl in Coldtown, The Left Hand of Darkness, The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making, Speak, Wicked, Artful, Fun Home, Laura Dean Keeps Breaking up With Me, Rapunzel’s Revenge, Page by Paige, The Martian Chronicles, Fairest, Running out of Time, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, and They Both Die At The End. And that list is far too long for me to GoodReads link now, so you’ll just have to search them for yourself. Oh! I tried to keep it short; I really did... At least there’s variety.

What themes come up in your writing the most?

Duty vs. self is the largest one, I think. It pops up in just about everything I write.

What are your plans after you finish your WIP?

Which one? ^__^ Well, in order of priority, I’d like to traditionally publish Forest Castles (though I’m not opposed to other methods), traditionally publish Sometimes it Happens, and post KAY online. I’d also like to collect a new batch of short stories into a collection.

Which part of the writing process is your favorite?

Drafting. Right when it’s all new and fresh.

posted writing | published book | ko-fi | Patreon

[sondepoch]

Hello, this might be long but bare with me. 1. Anytime you post something I turn into the amazing brilliant show stopping never been done before meme 2. I wonder what your favorite authors/books are and 3. I haven't written fanfiction in years but I recently got into obey me and have some ideas but I worry about people not liking/reading them. Do you ever feel a fear that comes with writing and how do you deal with it?

1. Omg thank you so much that’s so kind T^T istg, people like you are the reason why I’m able to keep writing bc you’re so kindddd

2. Someone asked me for book recs here - these are just a few that inspired me all in different ways :D My favorite authors include (modern) George Saunders, Margaret Atwood, Neil Gaiman and (dead) Kafka, Maupassant, and P G Wodehouse (and like 100 others but there’s no way I can fit everyone on a list)

3. Oh boy this is a long one

Listen I totally feel you with the whole fear of people not liking the writing you make. Every time I come up with an AU or something nonconventional or something I know I would want to read and write but others probably wouldn’t, I go through a whole crisis where I struggle to figure out whether I should do it or not. 

For me, in the end, it boils down to the fact that in an online space like tumblr where you’re not making any money off of content, it shouldn’t matter how much people like your content. Like, yeah, I take requests and I’m going to interact with my followers because it’s nice to get notes - but the primary goal of my blog isn’t really to please others, it’s exclusively to advance my own writing skills. This may not hold true for everyone, but that takes precedence for me. 

And, listen - no matter what, there is going to be someone who appreciates your work. Even if it’s just one or two people, there will be a handful of individuals who love your writing no matter how many people don’t - and for me, those are the people I write for :) It’s rough, but it’s physically impossible for any writer to create content that pleases everyone. I’d recommend writing what makes you happy, and then it’ll just be a matter of time until you find others who can enjoy your writing and be happy with you <3

[shochmonster]

84 Questions

original: https://fuckyeahsurveys.tumblr.com/post/61049002526/84-questions

Put your music player of choice on shuffle and list the first 10 songs Guns of Brixton - The Clash Holiday in Cambodia - Dead Kennedys  Chainsaw - Nick Jonas California - Joni Mitchell Make It Wit Chu - Queens of the Stone Age This Woman’s Work - Kate Bush The Bad Thing - Arctic Monkeys Between the Bars - Eliot Smith Drown - The Smashing Pumpkins Different People - No Doubt

If you could spend a week anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? Would you take anyone with you? I’d take @duoloopo to the UK. I’d like to see places other than London.

What is your preferred writing implement? (eg. Blue pen, pencil, green pen)  I use my iPad stylus the most, but I have this heavy mechanical pencil I really like for drawing. 

Favourite month and why? October. I just love the fall vibe. 

Do you have connections to any celebrities (even minor)? List them. I went to undergraduate school with Rebecca Sugar. We used to ride the bus between NYC and DC together on holidays. 

Name 3 items you could pick up from where you are. Can of seltzer, pencil case, stack of bills

What brand logo is closest to you currently? REAL Skateboards

Do you ever play board games or other non-computer games? Got any favourites? I love Small World and Munchkin. 

A musical artist you love that isn’t well known Laura Stevenson and the Cans

A musical artist you love that is well known Red Hot Chili Peppers

What is your desktop background currently? Thomas Barrow on the beach in the Season 4 Christmas Special

Last person you talked to, and through what you talked to them @duomaxwell02 with my face :O 

First colour name you can think of that isn’t in the rainbow White

What timekeeping devices are in the room you are currently in? Two wall clocks, though one is very old and doesn’t wind anymore. I also have a clock @duoloopo ‘s dad made for me. It’s on the piano. 

What kind of headphones do you use? JBL Bluetooth, noise canceling 

What musical artists have you seen perform live? Foo Fighters (3x), Incubus (3x), Red Hot Chili Peppers, Smashing Pumpkins, Beastie Boys, Audioslave, Justin Timberlake, Troy Sivan, Arctic Monkeys, The Rolling Stones, Eric Clapton, Queen (but with Roger Daughtry, not Freddy... for obvious reasons.). Probably a whole bunch of others I’m blanking on. 

Does virginity matter to you? Not really. 

What gaming consoles do you or your family own? PS4, PS2, PS1, XBox 360, N64, Gamecube, Wii, NES, SNES, various Gameboys, Nintendo DS, PSP

What pets do you have? What are their names? Two cats, Hemingway and Renji

What’s the best job you’ve ever had? I like freelance art gigs the best. As for ‘normal people jobs’, I once was a sign painter for Whole Foods. That was pretty fun, minus the work drama. 

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? Food service. 

What magazines do you read, if any? I’ll pick up Time once in a while

Inspiration behind your URL? My classic original URL was LinkWorshiper and had been since AIM first existed. I picked it because Zelda was the first fandom I ever joined. Now I’ve changed all my handles (except on AO3) to reflect my actual name, as my literary agent thinks it’s more professional. 

Inspiration behind your blog title? Mean Girls. I always chuckle imagining Thomas and Jimmy as some Edwardian version of the Plastics. 

Favourite item of clothing? My Downton livery waistcoat. And the stiff bosomed shirt and collars I have to go with it. 

Are you friends with any exes? Nah. By the time I felt comfortable enough to possibly try, I also didn’t care enough to. 

Name at least one book you loved as a child. His Dark Materials (the trilogy by Philip Pullman). I still love them and am jazzed that he’s writing more these days. 

What’s your native language? If that language has distinct regional variations, which variation? (eg. AU English, US English) US English, mostly a northeastern dialect/accent

What email service do you use? Gmail

Is there anything hanging on the walls of the room you are currently in? So much stuff. I have a mood board full of Downtons stuff over my desk, various DA posters and memorabilia, plus some artwork I’ve done, and some of my JC Leyendecker collection. The aforementioned wall clocks, a San Francisco cable car bell, Sailor Moon and a few other little knickknacks, like my hamsa. To name a few lol. 

What’s your favourite number, and why? 212 because it’s Manhattan’s area code and also because it used to be the notation for one of my favorite ships in an old fandom. 

Earliest moment in your life you can remember? Sitting under the table and looking at my grandma, who was wearing a Cruella Deville dress she’d knit herself. Like, it had the actual Disney character on it. Pretty cool to a little guy, I guess!

What did you have for dinner yesterday? Quesadilla 

How often do you brush your teeth? Whenever they feel gross

What’s your favourite candy/chocolate? Lately, I’ve been into Junior Mints. 

Have you had other blogs on Tumblr? Do you have any other blogs currently? This blog used to have my old handle, linkworshiper. I did a small Whole Foods blog when I worked with them, but it never went anywhere. 

If you were suddenly really hungry, what would you choose to eat? Sushi

What fandoms would you consider yourself a part of? Downton Abbey, though lately I’ve been crazy busy and not as active as I once was. Casually still poking at old fandoms like Zelda and Gundam Wing to name a few. 

If you could study anything, what would it be? More art education can’t hurt. Maybe some formal history education. 

Do you use anything on your lips? (eg. Chapstick, gloss, balm, lipstick) Chapstick 

How would you describe your sense of humour? Seinfeld 

What things annoy you more than anything else? Mouth noises

What kind of position are you in at the moment? Sitting

Do you wear much jewellery? Nope

Who is the leader of your country, currently? Any other levels of government with leaders? (State, region, province, county, district, municipality, etc) Three supposedly equal branches of government, currently being run into the ground by a clown 

Last 3 blogs on your dashboard, not including any of your own @halcyondaze @mab1905 @lavender-hued-melancholy

What do you carry your money in? I try to never carry cash, but I carry a small wallet 

Do you enjoy driving? Why or why not? I like it but sometimes it feels like a chore, especially during a commute. @duoloopo thinks I’m a shit driver so she tries to drive whenever she can, which has pluses and minuses. 

Longest drive you have ever been on? Savannah GA to San Francisco, CA in a UHaul

Furthest away from home you have ever been? Germany 

How many times have you moved house? God, I don’t even know. More than ten. 

What is on the floor of the room you’re currently in, not including furniture? Cat toys, unused canvases

How many devices do you own which can access the internet? Phone, computer, iPad, various game consoles 

Is there is anything that is guaranteed to always make you happy? Thomas and Jimmy <3 <3 

Is there anything that always makes you sad? Thinking too hard about being a failure

What programs do you currently have open? I just rebooted, so only Chrome, Spotify and Photoshop

What do you associate the colour red with? This line in the Kate Bush Song Blue Symphony, which goes, ‘I associate love with red, the color of my heart when she’s dead.’ 

Last strong smell you can remember smelling? The Greek food I ordered in for dinner

Last healthy thing you ate? Roasted veggies

Do you drink tea or coffee, and how much per day? I prefer tea, and I drink coffee for energy, though sometimes I think it just makes me crash harder. 

What do you associate the colour blue with? The sky

How long is the closest ruler you can find? 12 inches

What colour pants/skirt/etc are you currently wearing? Dark blue

When was the last time you drank water? About a minute ago

How often do you clear your browser history? Rarely

Do you believe nude photos can be artistic, rather than erotic? Yes

Ever written fanfiction for anything? Oh God, yes. You can still find it under Link Worshiper on AO3, though some of my ‘classics’ have been removed since I turned them into original manuscripts 

Last formal event you attended My cousin’s wedding

If you had to move your birthday to another date, which one would you choose and why? Maybe inch my birth year up just by two so that I’d stop being called a damn millennial. At my age, I really just don’t relate to the generation even though technicalities make me a part of it. 

Would you prefer to be at a beach or in the countryside? Beach

Roughly how many people live in your town? 52,000

Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? Leonard Nimoy :D 

Favourite place to shop? Can be a certain store or a place where there are multiple stores I haven’t really gone shopping since the pandemic. Right now, it feels like the only place to buy anything is Amazon XD

Do you have a smartphone? What kind? If you don’t, do you want one? Samsung. It’s not a Galaxy but is a new model and a fraction of the price. 

What is your least favourite colour, and why? I don’t think I dislike any colors honestly. 

How do you spell grey/gray? Grey. I’ve got too many British online associates to ever go back. 

Go to your dashboard and describe the image shown in the radar section (below the “Find blogs” link) It’s Umbrella Academy fanart of Klaus. He’s in black and white with this hands over his eyes and the background is red. It’s very graphic. 

What difference is there between how many followers you have, and the number of blogs you follow? 736

How many posts do you have? 8,859

How many posts have you liked? I can’t find the stat D: 

Do you post mainly reblogs, or your own content? Mainly reblogs but I pepper in my own content when I can. Lately, I haven’t had time to do as much fanart though, and I kind of feel like it’s not worth bothering to post my original stuff. Nobody follows my blog for that. 

Do you track any tags? No. 

What time is it currently? 7:33 PM CMT

Is there anything you should be doing right now? Waking up @duoloopo. TIME TO JUMP ON THE BED. 

tagging, if they feel like it: @abbys-little-whippersnapper​ @bumblebarrow​ @irrationalgame​ @downtoncat​ @mab1905​ @duoloopo​

and everyone who I’ve forgotten

[blue-haired-grace]

I follow you for many reasons! You’re an incredible writer - I remember reading Next Time and I loved how you added your own interpretation to that scene. I love it when people add more to canon like that. Also: Spark Squad. They are my favorite clone OCs hands down! You’re also super kind and make your blog an inviting place to all and are very supportive of other content creators. Plus you love Fox too ❤️❤️❤️

OKAY, OKAY!!!! StOp CoMiNg FoR mY hEaRt PlEaSe!

I’m always surprised when people tell me that they like, “Next Time”. When it comes to characters that I’ve written (that aren’t my OCs), this fic is consistently my lowest in terms of popularity. So happy you liked it, especially since it was my first time writing for Star Wars; because of that, I didn’t want to do anything too complicated. I just stuck with doing something I knew I was pretty good at: adding my own interpretation to a canon event/scene.

Okay, Spark Squad being your favourite clone OCs is a huge compliment! There are soooooooooo many clone OCs in existence and mine even slightly compare to them? I’m not crying, you are! :’)

I try my very best to be supportive to other content creators. I know I’ve fallen behind lately (life has been challenging), but I hope to be back in the game soon. I remember starting out my fanfiction journey and all the support I received was overwhelming. I want others to feel the way I did, to get the support I did. I know there are cruel people out there who can influence you to stop writing fics, and I want them to not be the only response others get.

For as long as I remember, I’ve always been shunned by others before they even spoke to me. So when I do get the chance to be around others, in person or online, I will always be kind until given a reason not to be. Even if I’m given a reason, I’ll probably still be politely kind when telling them to go away. Being alone a lot made me too tolerant, I guess.

Fox is my boy! <3 I honestly hate that I used to hate him so much. Oh, the journey I’ve made!

Game from this post.

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

1, 4, and 10! (Frankly, I'm interested in all of these, but I'll take these to start!)

Thank you! These are from this ask meme

1. What made you start writing fanfic? 

Hmmm you know, I had read, I think, 3 fanfics ever (i’m lumping the 3 harry potter novel-length Neville POV pdfs a friend sent me in college once into one group tho), before 2015. And always only things friends had linked to me/I wasn’t seeking them out myself. I tried looking some up once to see what the hype was about but never got interested in anything, even when the writing was objectively good (I think some Marvel, some Dr Who, etc that friends posted and which crossed my dash).

Trying to be as brief as possible on the leadup details, after a very low period for all of 2014 and while I was between jobs/living with my parents, I started DA:I just after Christmas and put in 104 hours/beat the game within 8 days, one of which I did not play at all during. So! You can say the Obsession had kicked in as they are wont to do.

I had a job lined up for March onward but nothing to do for the rest of Jan/Feb, so I played the game another two times, joined the good ol Bioware Social Network/forums, followed a bunch of new people on tumblr, and joined an online chat group or two about Inquisition! Fanfic was popular with everyone else, and while at first I wasn’t as interested in it as I was in talking about game meta/lore, after reading a couple I realized I actually enjoyed videogame-based fanfic much more than the kinds I’d bounced off before. I’m pretty sure it’s because in the games you get to make your own character/choices, so you don’t always know what’s actually coming next, and there’s someone “new” you’re reading about even if the other characters are the same. There’s just a lot more room to develop characters and side storylines while not contradicting the main plot, since a lot of what happens in games is implied/off-screen conversation/skipped over time-wise. It was also a good outlet for the mess of emotions DAI left me with (as a solasmancer: :( :( :( ), and it was people I knew who were creating it, so it was a fun way to engage with the online communities that were at the time my only social outlet. 

As someone who has written my own stories since childhood (I’d won NaNoWriMo that year with an original middle grade novel concept), it was pretty natural for me to transition over, about a month after I finished the game. My first couple attempts were very much figuring things out/playing with the genre, but I jumped in pretty fast. I wrote two short/messy one-shots, a few tumblr only drabbles ≤100 words, and then the third fic I ever started is Fallout From the Fade, my on-going longfic that is now the single longest story I’ve ever written and its been uuuhhhhh 5 years whoops. It’s been a long process but I’m the kind of person who jumps around between ideas but if I latch onto something it doesn’t really leave me (even the NaNo novel from 2007… i was 15… please i dont want you in my brain anymore) so even though sometimes life takes me away from stories for a long time I always have them in my head and intend to come back to them :) 

The biggest thing for me though was tumblr prompts/prompt boards. Fanfiction was the first time EVER that I was actually writing for an audience instead of myself (I have entire original novels that no one’s ever read on my harddrive). I very quickly learned that I’m good at writing angst and oh boy it’s a rush to directly hear from people that they Felt Something because of what you wrote. So most of my story stars I get from the kinkmeme or asks because then I know, specifically, that I’m writing something someone else wants to read. It’s also interesting to me in the psychology that way–I will often read through peoples blogs to get an idea of what they’re into theme or headcanon wise, and incorporate those into my works. I am very interested in the reader/work relationship and having that extra element of control over it is something I like to play with. 

Wow, giant answer. Stopping there.

4. Do you think your style has changed over time? How so? 

I think I’ve gotten better at writing for the conventions of the genre. Fanfic is more about emotions than plot than original work, though both can play a role/stories can vary on how much of each they put in. But the more you write about a character the more you explore their backstory, personality, motivations, etc and I think the better you can understand them to write more. Really though, I go into each fic with a different style in mind though. Some are more economical, and I put a lot of work into show-vs-tell. Some I go past purple into ultraviolet with the prose, especially for shorter works. A lot of it is self-indulgent, but I’m pretty mindful about the tone I write in and what I want it to convey when paired with that specific plot.

10. What’s a theme that keeps coming up in your writing?

I have yet to meet someone as into the concept of meta-narrative as I am. I am constantly thinking about the relationship between the reader and what I’m writing, and how that will be affecting their reading experience. I’m big on using  fic to create a sense of tension, leaving people on cliffhangers wanting more, and basically using things like paragraph length/repetition/clues/word choice to either keep the reader engaged or jolt them out of the story for a moment in order to wring as much emotion from them as possible. There’s definitely times I don’t get it right but I think I hit the mark a decent amount. This is one of those things that’s “invisible” to the reader though unless they’re directly looking for it, so, I don’t know that it’s something anyone would think of unless they’ve talked to me about writing–though if you have, you KNOW i go off about meta-narrative within my first three comments.

For more traditional themes, on the physical side: as a career botanist/geologist, I am always very aware of nature and setting. Sometimes maybe too much so. So a lot of my metaphors/allusions/breaks between plot or dialogue involve nature in some way, especially plants, water, and light. I’m being very indulgent in a current WIP and going on about the weather (I HATE that weather is a stereotypical “boring conversation” marker because i LOVE meteorology and its very important!!! esspecially if u spend all day running around outside!! as both I personally and my OCs do) but I try to tone that down normally. 

On the figurative side: I write a lot about mental health while trying to keep it both realistic/non-glamorized but still as big as it really feels; I write about complicated relationships and not being fully aware of your own emotions/reactions (love me a flawed narrator); about things the character has lost like family/identiy/language; and I can’t keep away from stories about self-sacrifice, duty, transcendence, futility, and rage. I have yet to write a piece that can truly be described as fluff, I think.

Aaaand I’ve gone on FAR too much already, so I’ll end it there! Thanks so much for the q’s!

[sunflowerxny]

Since you spend so much of your time liking posts on Louis-hating bloggers blogs, maybe you should just stop talking about Louis on your blog entirely and especially stop fetishising him because you only care about him when you can imagine him fucking Harry. Disgusting. People can see your likes on nasty posts. You should maybe realise that.

Hahahaa oh hello Anon. Congratulations! You're my first vicious anon. ⭐ here's a gold star!

Now to get down to your message which you so bravely sent me anonymously (👏🏼you must feel really proud!) First of all can I clarify that I don't spend "so much of my time" doing anything here, I have a life outside of tumblr, outside of One Direction and my time on here these days is minimal. I come on, I reblog content and I go. I don't hang about, and you know why? Because of people like you. Because of people with nasty opinions about people they don't know online. Because of people who have nothing better to do than to sit and investigate everyone else's movements, the boys included. And its exhausting. Don't get me wrong, I got sucked into the drama of it all too at one point but honestly, I realised 'what am I doing? I'm a grown woman and this is beginning to be a bit pathetic'. I don't obsess over every move any other artist I follow makes, why am I doing it here? I'll tell you why, because there is such a huge online presence in this fandom that spreads across so many different type of social media it's easy to end up knee deep in drama and theories and fandom dynamics. But recently I took a step back from it all because it's really unhealthy.

So secondly to move on to your point of me liking posts on 'Louis-hating bloggers blogs', you see the thing is I have no idea who people are on here, who may have said what, who likes and dislikes who, because honestly I'm here for the content. If I see a post with a great gifset I'll reblog it. I don't care what people are 'supposed' to be or 'supposed' to have said, because at the end of the day I'm not here in this fandom to be a fan or not of certain bloggers? I couldn't care less, because I've no idea who might have said what, because it doesn't matter. This is tumblr.com noone's murdered anybody. I haven't seen anyone I reblog from say anything nasty because I genuinely don't sit on other people blogs and go through their whole feed... I just go through mine and reblog what I see. That's it.

Everyone has their own opinions about everything in this fandom, and of course everyone is entitled to those, but the toxic environment that is allowed to continue (like your ask here) and is encouraged by people here was created by this fandom itself, and was a huge reason why I took a step back. People thinking they have the right to tell each other WHAT they should believe, WHAT they should like, WHO they should like and HOW they should blog is ridiculous and childish.

I'm sorry if people I've reblogged from have said nasty things about Louis, I absolutely DO NOT condone or agree with that. I love Louis. And surprise! I don't actually only love him because of Harry. Because I'm not in that place anymore because I've decided that I/we have absolutely NO IDEA what the truth is and it is absolutely NONE OF OUR BUSINESS. I am not here for anyone's personal life anymore, I'm not here to speculate about this or that because we have no answers, it's all theory and guess work made to look like fact. And IT'S NOT. It's not fact. None of it. So move the fuck on and let them all live their lives. Let people on the internet live their lives. Who gives a flying fuck who the OP of a gifset is? Or if I or anyone else likes a Larry post? Get a life.

I love Harry AND Louis and they will always be my OTP but in reality I don't know what the truth is. And that is the most frustrating term banded about in this fandom from people who think they are being really intelligent and right on, people reading fanfiction is something that has happened FOR YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS. Some of it may be gay, and guess what, that's representation. There is fanfiction in every fandom, don't throw that at me about 'fetishisation'. It's an excuse you've used to throw at 'larries' because it's something you've all latched onto believing it to be some righteous reason to hate a certain group of people. I don't care what people believe, just don't be nasty to each other (like you). And again, if people I've reblogged from have been nasty, I'm sorry about that, but I can't possibly know every blogger in this fandom and what their past entails. Like I said, I'm not here for that. I'm here for the boys and the events they attend and the music and the content they give us. That's it, I'm here to support THEM. Not you, not any other blogger, but THEM. Maybe if you all realised that, it would make for a nicer place. If people just focussed on the reason they say they're here in the first place and not each other, because ultimately that should be the reason we are all here, and we should BOND over that, not HATE each other.

Clearly, you're a Louis fan, I am too. He means a lot to me for reasons you have NO IDEA about because you've decided you know who I am and who I like and why based off of some liked posts on a tiny corner of the internet where I spend barely any of my time so DON'T YOU DARE come here and tell me I don't care about him. I'm not the one sitting on tumblr sending anonymous hate messages to other blogs for no reason based on no fact... I'm out there buying his tickets, listening to his tracks and being PROUD of his strength. So maybe just Treat People With Kindness yeah? And get yourself a life and maybe just focus on supporting Louis, if that's what you're here for. You'll probably find it's much more fulfilling than sending anonymous hate online and focussing on fandom divides.

✌🏼✌🏼

[camisimblr-permanent-hiatus]

150 Follower Q&A

Fun fact: This is my 600th post!

A little about me: My name is Emily, I’m 24 and I live in Australia with my partner. I’ve been a fan of the Sims since I was about 5-6 years old and simming is actually how I met my two best friends, @lilletisims and @simmingkatie. I’m a Hufflepuff, and it actually makes a world of sense. My life (literally) is about other people. I work in Aged Care, I’m studying Nursing, and I’ve been using my own experiences with endometriosis to raise awareness and to support others. I’m also the kind of person that you can message for the first time saying something like “I have had the worst day” or “I have the best news” and I’ll respond like we’re lifelong friends. I just feel like I get a lot out of helping people in any way.

How long have you had your Simblr? I’ve had it for a few months now, I’d say 3 or 4?

What made you start your Simblr? I’d started customising a save and wanted somewhere to document my progress, and I knew I wanted to post about a legacy once it was finished - I’d never used Tumblr before but I’d heard it was popular amongst Simmers.

What do you do outside of Tumblr? At the moment, I’m still recovering from surgery/getting used to the constant pain that comes with having endometriosis but all that aside I’m a Personal Care Worker (Aged Care) and I’m currently studying Bachelor of Nursing.

What are your favourite Simblrs? This is a hard question to answer because I know I’ll leave someone out without meaning too. I honestly really enjoy the content of every blog that I follow. Also, I’m hoping to queue a weeks worth of ‘Hey, check this person out!’ posts to publish while I’m on holiday so keep an eye out!

What’s your favourite thing about Simblrs? And your least favourite? My favourite thing is definitely the support. The consistent likes and comments are so heartwarming as well as the fact that I have over 150 followers.

My least favourite thing hands down is people not giving credit when using other people’s ideas, creations, etc. It’s something that bothers me a lot even outside of Simblrs. People put so much time and thought and so much of themselves into what they create and giving credit to that person for their idea takes no time at all but is so important.

What’s your favourite Sims instalment? And least favourite? My favourite is definitely TS4. Hands down. I love the aesthetics of it, I love the addition of emotions as well as needs. I feel like the game really has heart. TS2 is a close second, though. I went back to it recently and had an absolute blast. I think I’ll still be going back to it when we’re up to TS9!

My least favourite is TS3. There are so many wonderful aspects of the game and a lot of things I miss but it’s definitely, personally, at the bottom of my list.

Since you seem to play only TS4, what’s your favourite world? And townie? My favourite world is probably Windenburg because that’s where my Lochness self lives I love the style of it. Second would be San Myshuno because I love the communal/festive side of it.

My favourite townie... I have to say Luna Villareal. I feel like after how invested I was in the Larsen Legacy I’d lying if I said anyone else. I also love Dina Caliente, Paolo Rocca, and Sergio Romeo.

What’s your favourite pack of all time? Honestly, it’s probably Makin’ Magic from TS1! The last time I remember playing it was 2006 but I loved it! I loved the magical world you went to, I even had a handwritten list of potions and their ingredients. I really hope they create something similar for TS4.

What would you like to see in TS5, if they make it? Oh, boy. This is easy. Matching furniture. Tables and chairs. Counters and barstools. Bedroom sets. Possiblythe

How long have you been writing for? I have been writing since primary school. (Elementary school, for anyone wondering what I’m on about). I distinctly remember getting an award in grade 3 or 4 for my writing. The teacher that gave it to me said something along the lines of “Remember us when you’re a famous author” and while I have no intentions of that happening, I will always remember that teacher.

Do you have any stories you haven’t posted? Oh, tonnes. Most would be garbage fanfictions, I’m fairly sure I have a story or two (or twenty) floating around on a USB or my old laptop. Medrano Memories is actually the first story I’ve ever shared online and the third story I’ve ever shared with anyone at all. 

I have a few different stories lined up, and I’ll actually be writing my next story while I’m on holiday.

Thank you all so much for your ongoing support, I’m going to post a quick ‘What’s on in 2019′ post so stay tuned for that.

I hope you all know that I will always support all of you in return, if you ever need a friend I’m an inbox away <3 Whether it’s Sims or life, I’m here for you all.

[aroworlds]

Aro-Spec Artist Profile: Shell

Our next aro-spec creator is Shell, already known to the aro-spec community as @arosnowflake and the author of the awesome short story Seducing Trouble!

Shell is an autistic, ADHD, non-binary aro-ace person who writes short stories, original fiction, fanfiction and essays. You can find eir fanworks on AO3 under the username spitecentral, writing for the Voltron: Legendary Defender, Fullmetal Alchemist, DC Universe, Batman and Batgirl fandoms, and we’ll hope ey posts more pieces from eir original Coffeeshop Project!

With us Shell talks about how ey writes romance as an aro-ace, depicting relationships in fiction, the impact of amatonormativity on creativity and eir alienation from current aro-spec community conversations. Eir words bound with enthusiasm on authentic creativity and the growth of the aro-spec community, so please let’s give em all our love, encouragement, gratitude, kudos and follows for taking the time to explore what it is to be aromantic and creative.

Can you share with us your story in being aro-spec?

I never thought I was anything other than straight, although I did start noticing that I was different from other people when I was as young as twelve (for example, I remember being asked to pick the handsomest guy in a boy band, but to me, they all looked the same). However, I simply put this down to my autism, and since I was already desensitized to differences with peers, I pretty much ignored it. That is, until I repeatedly saw the word ‘asexual’ used online, and I began to wonder what it was, so I googled it. After reading the first paragraph on the Wikipedia page, I basically slammed my computer shut and did my very best to convince myself that no, I was overreacting, and also straight; after all, I was already autistic and ADHD, so any more diversity would be implausible.

Past me was so naive.

Anyway, I came to terms with being asexual at sixteen, and openly started identifying with it without adding ‘I think’ when I was seventeen. When I learned about the SAM, I initially dismissed the idea of being aro because I had a couple of crushes when I was a kid. However, after learning more about aromanticism and after some conversations with aromantic people, I decided to adopt the label since it really fit me. I mean, I was like nine when I had those crushes, and I don’t feel like they counted. I’m fairly sure now that I was just having them because it seemed like the Thing To Do, and, even then, all of my fantasies involved a more platonic ‘best friends forever but with shared pets’ lifestyle than a romantic thing. So while I may or may not have had crushes before, I don’t think I ever will again, and I don’t want to either, so I’ve adopted the aromantic label. I know it sounds weird, but oh well!

Can you share with us the story behind your creativity?

I don’t remember exactly why or when I began to write. I know it happened when I was around twelve, but that’s kind of it? It’s not really a spectacular story. As for how I began to create the things I do now, that’s slightly more interesting. Really, everything centers around one thing: spite. No one writes autistic characters, and no one writes stories with no romantic plotlines, so I guess I’ll have to do it myself! That’s my literal thought process behind my writing at any given moment, honestly. Even when I’m not writing about autism or other marginalized identities, I write obscure and sometimes absurdist fantasy with magic types or settings that I haven’t seen used before, because I find writing that fascinating, or because I’m annoyed that no one else has used that particular idea. I’m fairly sure that was the reason I began writing originally, too: I had stories I wanted to read, and no one was writing them, so I guess I’ll have to do it.

Are there any particular ways your aro-spec experience is expressed in your art?

Well, first and foremost, I never focus on romantic relationships. Even when they appear in the story, they are not the focus. I’m so sick and tired of reading romantic plotlines, and I am not planning on ever contributing to that trend, thank you very much. So platonic relationships, worldbuilding or character development are often central to the story, instead of romance.

Second, I have this habit of interpreting tropes differently than allos because of my aromanticism. Name soulmates, for example. I know they aren’t a very popular trope in the aro community, but I love them. However, I have a different definition of them than most: I’ve always interpreted a ‘soulmate’ as someone who changes your life (for better or for worse), not your ‘other half’ or whatever nonsense we’re on today. I didn’t even realize that wasn’t a widespread thing until I heard aros complain about soulmate tropes! Stuff like that happens on a fairly regular basis, so I think my aromanticism definitely affects how I write certain settings/tropes, too.

Third, if I do write romance, I feel like I do it in a different way than allo creators. First, I suck at it. Badly. I used to try and write it in the same way that I always heard about it, bold and dramatic and mushy, and my mom (my loyal proofreader when I was a kid), always looked at me awkwardly and was like, ‘No, that’s not how it’s done.’ Since I don’t experience it, I honest to god don’t get why people insist that it’s the best or most important feeling in the world. The way characters in fiction always put their friendships or anything else on hold when that person walks by just … baffles me. I can’t write romance that way. I just can’t.

Instead, I tend to write romance in a much quieter way. If two of my characters are in an established relationship (and it’s always established because I still can’t write ‘coming together’ stories for the life of me), they are casual and comfortable with each other. In any relationship I write, platonic or romantic, I find open communication and trust to be very important. I kind of give all my relationships that same base, and then I add little flavours that I think are unique to that type of relationship. For romance, this is soft love and PDA. PDA is usually quick kisses on the cheek, holding hands, etc. The love is the type of thing where they fondly smile whenever the other does anything, really. I think that more subtle way of writing romance works decently, although I have gotten a lot of people telling me that I often also write friendships as romance, which is weird because I don’t think I do? I add a louder sort of love to friends, generally, and when they do have a quiet moment, it’s usually more serious rather than fond, and I think that’s different. But maybe I do write friendships as romance but I haven’t noticed it? Or maybe it’s amatonormativity making people read it like that?

I don’t know. I have no clue what I’m doing. Save me.

What challenges do you face as an aro-spec artist?

I can only talk about what I face as a fanfic writer, as I don’t really post my original works because I lack the platform for them. (I sometimes post stuff when there are events going on over on larger blogs than lil’ old me, but that doesn’t happen consistently enough to really be talked about.)

As a fanfic writer, well. I’m sure you’ve all heard it before: no one reads gen fic. Although I tend to have a pretty high kudos-to-hits ratio, that means nothing if you get less than 100 hits. In my case especially, as I tend to write for niche audiences, usually picking unpopular characters or friendships to write for, or writing specifically about autistic experiences. Not having the added hook of romance really hurts me in my exposure. Almost always when a story becomes kind of popular (as in it has 40+ kudos), it’s because it’s been recommended by someone with a bigger platform than me, or when I write about popular characters.

(There’s other reasons my stories don’t get popular, of course, like not knowing how to self-advertise and the fact that I have the charisma of a rock, but that’s not what this section is about.)

How do you connect to the aro-spec and a-spec communities as an aro-spec person?

Not at all, honestly? I said before I talked to some aromantic people, but that was mostly by anon asks, and the few I did actually message, well, I remade my blog so now I don’t have any contact. On top of that, the aro community (to my knowledge) doesn’t really have a central tag? Like, the autistic community has the #actuallyautistic tag, but I think the closest we have is #safeforaro, which (to my understanding) is more a reaction to discourse than anything else.

Aside from that, the aro community is really small, and mostly focused on making younger aros accept their identity. While that’s great, as someone who already has accepted their identity, it distances me a bit. And the few blogs that don’t focus on this, while absolutely lovely, are always so … sad? A large part of the aro community is depressed and bitter, worrying about losing their friends, worrying about their future. While that’s absolutely valid, I’d already moved on from that when I was younger, when I accepted the fact that because I was autistic, I would have trouble connecting and staying connected to people. It’s disheartening, sure, but I’ve accepted it and moved past it, so seeing the aro community still hung up on it saddens me. I can’t really give advice because, well, their worries are legit and they just need to come to terms with it at their own pace, and I’m bad at comforting without advice, so I’m just kind of stuck listening to it. It drains me a lot, so I distance myself.

I feel like we, as a community, can do a lot to dismantle amatonormativity, but since we still haven’t figured out what it is exactly, and we’re still grieving over the way we’re impacted by it, we’re not getting anything done. I’m bad at connecting with communities when I don’t know how to contribute to them, so I don’t really interact with it. And outside of the internet, there seems to be no aro community at all (or at least I haven’t found it), so I feel very isolated.

Wow that got real dark real fast. Sorry for being such a downer, but I did feel like it needed to be said.

How do you connect to your creative community as an aro-spec person?

…speaking of being a downer.

It’s well known that fandom isn’t a safe space for aro/ace people. It’s a very ship-centric place, to the point where it’s almost impossible to escape romance, and I hate it. I’m here because I like expanding on stories and characters and playing with established narratives, not because I want to see two people kiss. Because my wants and needs are different from most of the fandom, I tend to be isolated and unpopular, and while that’s mostly fine with me (it creates less drama), I really wish I had people to talk to.

As for being an original writer, I’ve already mentioned that I don’t post my work because I don’t have a platform. Now, granted, it’s rather difficult to create a platform as a writer, especially if you’re not that social and don’t know how to market yourself (hi), but I feel like being aro also helps to distance me. Romance is a rather large hook to any work of fiction in the publishing industry, to the point where some publishers will demand a romance subplot in your book. I write obscure things that I myself enjoy, and as a result, my stories aren’t very marketable. I doubt that I’ll ever get published, simply because I’m, well, weird.

I totally understand the publisher’s perspective of not wanting to pick up books or stories that simply won’t sell (and experience has told me that my stories will indeed never be popular), but it still saddens me. I could probably learn to write more popular stories, but I don’t want to do that, since writing for me really is about expressing myself (though I’m not judging anyone who writes popular stuff for money; we all need to eat).

So, to summarize, I’m not marketable or interesting either as a writer or as a fandom member to either communities, which isolates me, which sucks, but it also enables me to really stop giving a shit. Sounds weird, but once I figured out that I’m not gonna get published or be popular, I really felt free to do whatever I want. Because ultimately the only person that really likes my writing is me, I’ll make myself happy first and foremost. While this sounds kind of depressing, it’s actually motivated me to keep writing, and it stops me from getting too depressed or anxious when a story I post only gets a dozen or so kudos/notes, so I think that’s a positive thing. Because ultimately, to me, the most important thing about writing isn’t the community, it’s having fun and creating something new, and as long as I can do that, I’ll be happy.

How can the aro-spec community best help you as a creative?

The obvious answer is read my stories and reblog/leave kudos/comment, which is also true for every other writer, but I feel like that’s ignoring the underlying reason romance-free stuff just doesn’t get popular. The reason my stuff is unpopular isn’t because of the aro community, but because of the alloro people being more numerous and not caring.

Instead, I’m going to say that I would be helped if the aro community started focusing more on what it means to be aro, expanding on the meaning of amatonormativity, and spreading the word to allo communities. Amatonormativity is something that hurts all of us, especially fellow LGBT+ members, and I think that once more people start to realize what it is and how it’s harmful, they would try to examine their own biases and help us dismantle it. That way, gen stories will get more popular in fandom spaces, and stories without a focus on romance will have more chance of thriving in the publishing industry. It’s not a foolproof plan, and maybe I’m just too optimistic about my fellow humans, but it’s worth a shot and better than doing nothing.

Can you share with us something about your current project?

I have several current projects! My ADHD always makes me bounce dozens of ideas around in my head and start even more works, but very few of them ever get finished. However! One story I’m fairly sure I’m getting finished is an original piece about a universe in which everyone needs to buy a heart on a necklace in order to feel love. It’s an old story that I’m reworking to contain less aromisia, since I was still rather ignorant when I wrote the first draft, but I think it has a lot of potential to examine love in its entirety, and I’m super excited about it!

The only thing I don’t like about it is the incredibly melodramatic writing style I’m using; unfortunately, my writing always seems to be needlessly dramatic and I cry every time I read it because I just hate it so much. Since this is a fairly serious piece, it’s even worse than usual. I’m toying with the idea of starting a humorous and light piece to offset it, probably about an aromantic witch and her familiar who con people into buying fake love potions.

And of course, my Coffeeshop Project is always ongoing!

The Coffeeshop Project is a project I started when I badly needed to de-stress. It’s been my go-to comfort project ever since, meaning that I try not to put pressure on myself over the quality of it, and that I don’t do any research specifically for the project (although I often incorporate research that I did for other things).

The Coffeeshop Project is a series of stand-alone short stories in the same universe centred around the shenanigans of the crew of Café Nowhere, a café with a supernatural clientele. (I’m afraid I have a soft spot for supernatural shops.)

The story I wrote for the aro prompt on this blog was actually part of it! It was set a couple of years prior to the current ‘canon’, and introduces Ethan, who is now 22 and is infamous for taking down an intergalactic smuggling ring. There are more crew members, but listing them would take forever, so if anyone is interested, feel free to just ask!

Have you any forthcoming works we should look forward to? 

I have several ideas about forthcoming works that may or may not get written, including the above, a role reversal AU for Fullmetal Alchemist (for which I have to research a lot about blindness, and since I hate research but don’t want to compromise on an accurate betrayal of disability, that might never get finished – I’m sorry y’all, but I’m doing this for free and only have so many spoons), an in-progress work for Batman about magic that I just cannot seem to pace correctly, a fic with a respectful portrayal of an autistic Black Manta as a passive-aggressive middle finger to DC comics, an analysis of FMA and/or Harry Potter from an aromantic perspective, etc. But with my ADHD and my gazillion ideas it’s always a 50/50 chance that something actually gets finished, so I don’t like to promise anything.

[theschizoidblog]

On the road to enlightenment

Blog 8: 01/09/2021

It's been a long time since my last blogpost and I'll be honest and say that I haven't had particular inspiration to write for a very long time. Not just for this blogpost, but also for fanfiction or other stories. I haven't touched a pen in ages, and that's very atypical for me.

In the past that was usually a bad sign. Being unable to write sometimes equated to being unable to feel anything. It was usually a sign that I was in a very bad place, going through the motions, and often utterly depressed. However, I feel like this time it's different.

I went through EMDR therapy and have no longer had any PTSD attacks and my self-worth has steadily grown since then. While there are still things for me to work on, I'm feeling more self-assured, assertive and even content in life. Today's blogpost is to focus a bit on what brought me there, and what I still need to work on.

An Ambitious Title

Let's just say that "On the road to Enlightenment" is... well... quite pretentious a title indeed. But I do think it's accurate.

What I mean with the term enlightenment is very broad. It's the ability to have bad things slide off of you like butter off a hot knife, to have a sense of inner peace, to be like a tree unyielding to the wind, just swaying along...  It means accepting your own position in life, and understanding what you can change of circumstances around you, and which battles can not be won. It means trying to be a little better every day, no matter the odds against you, but also being okay with it if the process is slow or sometimes comes to a standstill. It's being your own best friend and your biggest supporter.

So even if I singlehandedly can not solve poverty or global warming or a pandemic, I can take my responsibility and help in the ways that I can control. And I can let go of what is out of my hands.

And most importantly: I understand that I am still the person who controls myself, even despite past traumas or my own character, it would be foolish to say growth is impossible.

So in that way, I do think I’m on the road to enlightenment. But I’m not fully there yet. And maybe that mountain is further away from me than I believe right now, but I’m feeling hopeful I can reach it.

Improvements I noticed

Less inclined to jump into drama

The past year, there are a few things that I've somehow let go.

In the past, I could get really into stupid arguments online. Someone said a dumb thing, and I would be there to refute it. And it wouldn't make me feel better. It would just be a stupid way to get a little dopamine boost, until the asshole would respond with his own little dopamine boost, until we'd shredded each other to a pulp online. And a day later the process would begin anew, with another idiot of the day in another random spot on Facebook.

I still read a lot of things that sometimes have me start a sentence to refute whatever idiotic statement they posted, but nowadays, after a few words, I press backspace until no words are left, and I move on.

I bet it seems like a logical thing to do to some of you - not everyone gets dragged into useless discussions like that, but for me it was a miserable way to pass the time sometimes, and it would utterly drain me and even keep the focus from my job.

Instead, I did join more fandom groups with memes, and now if I do need a little dopamine boost, I prefer to check some of those memes, and pass on the best ones to some of my friends, brightening their days too. That's a small way to spread positivity instead of rewarding negative behaviour with attention. And doing that constantly is like a breath of fresh air. It's much chiller than before.

PTSD? Gone!

After EMDR therapy I also noticed that I no longer get triggered by my old trauma or situations similar to it. In my EMDR post I explained more about how it worked, and shortly after writing that post, we also wrapped up the EMDR therapy, and I noticed during situations that would otherwise have triggered me, I felt a little anxious, but only for a few seconds, and then I became aware of the anxiousness, I was able to remain confident in myself, and it never escalated to the point of tears or anger or a fight or flight response.

Mindfulness = happiness?

While we haven't dealt with mindfulness in therapy yet (we probably will soonish), I do feel like I'm getting better at counting my blessings, also thanks to my lovely cat Vincent. He's an absolute joy and I love having him around, he makes me incredibly happy and is such a smart boy. I do really think he’s responsible for so much of my progress.

It's a massive improvement, because I started therapy with the 'feeling' that I hadn't felt anything in ages. Nothing but anger, at least. To experience positive feelings, even if they might still be flattened in degree compared to what neurotypicals feel, is great.

Because two years ago, when I went into therapy, I only felt angry or tired, nothing else. I'm still tired sometimes, but not angry, definitely not angry, I'm feeling calm and instead of anger I feel determination, which is sometimes anger channeled into something useful. I could really get used to that.

Self-confidence

If you would have asked me a few years ago if I were self-confident, I would have hesitated, then probably said yes. But the fact I would have hesitated, says enough about how it really was. I'm feeling more assertive now, and at work I dare to offer my thoughts and frustrations more than I ever did before. Many schizoids can probably relate that they avoid conflict at work. We do not like that attention for ourselves.

But let's give a dumb example - suppose a radio is on at work, and it disturbs you from performing well... a schizoid might remain silent to keep the peace, and then suffer in silence.

Nowadays, I would no longer keep silent. I would talk about the issue. I would also accept if there would be no solution to my problem, but I would advocate better for myself and voice my frustration honestly. I'm no longer covering up frustration in honey, because that doesn't work. I have learned to be more direct, even though I'm not sure how I learned it during therapy - I suppose it might be a result from the EMDR therapy (and from getting older, probably.)

Ongoing Struggles

Focus and flow

One of my biggest issues to this day remains executive dysfunction. I can get paralyzed at the thought of completing certain tasks. I'm still not certain where this comes from. I've asked my therapist if she thinks it might be ADD or something of the sort, but she has not given it  a straight answer, to my frustration.

I still receive help in the household from my mother, and I wonder if this is going to be a permanent thing and if I need to get a household help for the rest of my life, or if this is still something I can grow out of, as I'm slowly nearing the age of 40.

I can't find focus for household tasks and certain other things, and can't always find flow for work or certain hobbies either.

With flow I mean the feeling of "being in the zone". Even when doing some of my favourite things, like gaming, I can still feel out of the zone, and get bored of it, or restless.

That's actually a relatively new thing for me. I never got bored. Like, ever. And now I'm finding myself bored more easily than before.

I do sometimes find flow too, in work or hobbies, but it's not a permanent thing. Finding better focus and better flow is certainly going to be a task for the future.

No ambition

I still have no ambition whatsoever. And I'm not even sure if that's such a bad thing or not. But the thought of changing jobs, changing apartments or changing most of anything is too exhausting to even consider. And so I remain at a standstill.

Sometimes I also think 'oh wouldn't it be nice to do more Twitch streaming?' but then I never find the energy for it, and I'm like 'you have work, that's enough, you don't need to spend your energy on streaming, you're not social enough for it anyway.'

And then I wonder why I want to Twitch stream in the first place and I can't even answer the question. Because others do it and make money that way? Because I like gaming in my free time? I truthfully have no idea.

I've also lost all ambition to write. While I didn't write with the idea of getting money out of it, it was still something I did regularly, and I haven't written anything decent in many many months. It was one of the only things I liked to do regularly and it has fallen away somehow, and that does worry me a little.

But maybe the question is whether ambition is a must in a person’s life? Is it a must in a schizoid’s life, or is a life without ambition still a good life, and a person without ambition still a good person? 

Conclusion

So while I've come a way already in my therapy, some big hurdles are still ahead, mostly the executive dysfunction. Does it come from something schizoid-related or could it be due to some perfectionist trait or ADD?

I also regret this is one bit we can't tackle with EMDR - because EMDR worked very well for me, I'm kind of sad not every bit of my personality can be improved upon with that type of therapy.

I'm at that point in therapy where I'm grateful for the help I've received so far, and I'm able to name several things that have greatly improved, but I'm also a little afraid that the next thing to tackle can not be tackled or improved upon at all anymore, like I’ve reached the limit of my therapist’s expertise or my own ability to change. 

The executive dysfunction has been with me since I was a teen and I honestly don't know how it can go away. I hope that in a year from now I can give an update where I'm like "oh, good news everyone, it's gone, and here's how I did it!"

Until then, feel free to come into my inbox with any questions you might have (about anything) and I'll be certain to leave a response for you on my blog or in private!

[sariasprincy]

Get to Know Me Tag Meme

I’m horrible. I totally forgot I was tagged in this. Ah! Thank you @zutaras-where-its-at! (If you aren’t following this blog, you need to!)

Rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you would like to know better

nicknames: Online: Saria. In real life: ....none?

gender: One classy, sassy lady

star sign: Scorpio. but like two days off from Sagittarius 

height: 5′8″

time: 9:24 pm

birthday: November 20th

favourite bands: Panic! at the Disco, Matchbox Twenty, Backstreet Boys (no judging)

favourite solo artists: P!nk, Avril Lavigne, Taylor Swift is growing on me

song stuck in my head: What About Us - P!nk

last movie I watched: Alice in Wonderland: Through the Looking Glass

last TV show I watched: Grey’s Anatomy

when did I create my blog: I’m actually not sure. 2015?

what do I post: Naruto, my own writing, other people’s writing

last thing I googled: Runescape Old School Barbarian Potion (I’ve been gaming okay??)

do I have other blogs: Yes. There’s @sariasprincy-writes and @imagitarium-of-uchiha-itachi (pretty much abandoned, but lots of writing)

do I get asks?: Been getting a lot lately. Love you all! Keep ‘em comin’

why did I choose my URL: Idk...I made my fanfiction username a longtime ago. Just moved it over from FF

following: 425

followers: 1,006.  Oh! I hit 1k! Sweet ha

favourite colours: blue, purple, silver, crimson, black

average hours of sleep: 8. My jobs only make me get up at dark o’clock in the Summers.

lucky numbers: 8

instruments: Don’t play but violins and pianos are my favorites.

what am i wearing: Sports bra and shorts. Just finished my workout :D

how many blankets do i sleep with: 4

dream job: Cardiovascular surgeon

dream trip: Do not get me started. You will all see come August 12th.

favourite food: Carbs

nationality: American

favourite song right now: The Other - Lauv (Shallou Remix)

tagging: @thefreckledone @littlebirdrobin @vesperlionheart @arraveugchan @la-moonlight-lily

[criedw0lfe]

1-100!!! Sorry I had to be THAT person :)

Hahahaha no problem! LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME IGNORE EVERYONE ELSE NOW THOUGH.

Is a kiss considered cheating? Answered!

Have you ever faked orgasm? Answered!

If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Shapeshifting! It could solve literally all the problems I’ve ever had. LDR’s? Turn into a dragon or some shit and cover the distance. Guy breaking into your house? Grizzly bear time. Someone stole your pool noodle? DUH NUH TIME.

Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? With happiness, I hope. 

Tell us some funny drunk story. Answered!

Why are you no longer together with your ex? Answered!

If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be?  Most days I want it to be peacefully at an old age. Unfortunately, some days I want it to be of my own doing. I think that’s most people though.

What are your current goals? Answered!

Do you like someone? Answered!

Who was the last person to disappoint you? Myself.

Do you like your body? Same as # 70!

Can you keep a diet? Yeah, I just don’t need to. I’ve been regularly going to the gym 5 days a week pretty much the entirety of the past 4 years.

If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? Aren’t you tired? Aren’t you done with all the bullshit, the cruelty, the pettiness?

Do you work? I am currently a full time Tire and Battery Technician.

If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? Anything bread.

Would you get a tattoo? Yep! I have one already and want a full blown sleeve.

Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? Plane tickets and fine dining! 

Can you drive? Yep, both automatic and manual. I actually bought my car before I knew how to drive it.

When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful? Last night.

What was the last thing you cried for? We had to put down my cat of 14 years on monday.

Do you keep a journal? Does tumblr not count? 

Is life fun? 90% of the time it’s a Goddamn blast.

Is farting in front of people irrelevant? Life’s too short, man.

What’s your dream car? 1968 Shelby Mustang.

Are grades in school important? Depends on the degree you’re seeking! I have a BFA so no.

Describe your crush. She’s me.

What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? I watched Get Out and it was phenomenal. 

What was your last lie? Just one more gusher....

Dumbest lie you ever told? Telling myself I was straight for 23 years.

Is crying in front of people embarrassing? I feel embarrassed but its not. Feelings shouldn’t be embarrassing. 

Something you did and you are proud of? Changing my life.

What’s your favourite cocktail? It’s not like a super cocktail or anything but I’ve always loved Southern Comfort and coke.

Something you are good at? Embarrassing myself and not giving a fuck while I do so.

Do you like small kids? Yeeeees, and I can’t wait till I have some.

How are you feeling right now? Tired as fuck.

What would you name your daughter/son? Amelia for a girl, undecided for a boy.

What do you need to be happy? A good view and a good partner in crime to share it with.

Is there some you want to punch in the face right now? So many people I would be jailed.

What was the last gift you received? My friend bought me a video game so I would play online with him... but my internet is so fucked up I can’t even download the updates for it.

What was the last gift you gave? The gift of a good time.

What was the last concert you went to? I was supposed to go to In This Moment, but wasn’t able to. So the last was  Carrie Underwood.

Favourite place to shop at? Online, bitches.

Who inspires you? My parents and their resolve.

How old were you when you first got drunk? I’m a prude, it wasn’t until I was 19!

How old were you when you first got high? Answered!

How old were you when you first had sex? 24. I had plenty of opportunity, just no one I cared to do it with before then.

When was your first kiss? Romantically? I was 13.

Something you want to do until the end of this year? Get a new job and move.

Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? I have many regrets and moments I would like to take back, but I’ve decided long ago that I would stop letting the past effect my future.

Post a selfie. Oh my god I look like trash. I’ll post one later, or post an old one.

Who are you most comfortable around? My friend Kyle.

Name one thing that terrifies you. I struggle with the idea of falling from a considerable height. 

What kind of books do you read? I don’t have a specific genre that I usually stick to, but I do like dystopians or westerns.

What would you tell your 12 year old self? Don’t follow the crowd, and don’t give a fuck what people think. You’ll be someone they wish they were when you’re older. And for the love of god, don’t give into your thoughts. You’ve got to see what you become.

What is your favourite flower? Orchid.

Any bad habits you have? I have a hardcore caffeine addiction that I need to kick bad. 

What kind of people are you attracted to? People who are full of life and adventure.

What was the last thing you cried for? Answered I think?

Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you? I absolutely hate cilantro. Keep those bitter leaves away from me.

Are you in love? Answered!

Something you find romantic? Effort and chivalry. 

How long was your longest relationship? 3 and a half years! Marriage was a real concept at the time too. It was a boy though.

What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex? We have a tendency to be cruel emotionally. Myself included.

What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? There are so many problems with masculinity don’t even get me started. 

What are you saving money for? Moving and my first house!

How would you describe your bad side? Cruel and walled up.

Are you actually a good person? Why? I don’t think anyone can be a judge of them self in that regard. 

What are you living for? The light at the end of the tunnel.

Have you ever done anything illegal? Okay we all have anon. You will not get me to incriminate myself. Lmao.

Do you like your body? Answered!

Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? Unfortunately I have, and I’m not proud and would’ve taken it back if I could.

Ever sent nudes? All the time. Only when they are wanted though. Never out of the blue.

Have you ever cheated on someone? Nope.

Favourite candy? GUSHERS.

Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it! @babesboobsandbbqsauce, @tacos-guac-tequila, @beans4days and @thebootydiaries.

Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game? Just console atm. When I get a better paying job I will be buying a gaming pc. 

Favourite TV series? Legend of Korra and Avatar the last Airbender. 

Are you religious? Does God exist? Yes and yes. I don’t care if you’re not though. And I find all other religions fascinating and like to learn about them.

What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? God, all I have time for anymore it seems is fanfiction :/.

What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism? It’s not my thing, I love meat far too much.

How long have you been on Tumblr? Answered!

Do you like Chineese food? Hell fucking yes. I eat it at least once a week.

McDonalds or Subway? McDonalds.

Vodka or whiskey? Whiskey.

Alcohol or drugs? Alcohol.

Ever been out of your province/state/country? Yep! I’ve been to multiple states and countries. My favorite country I’ve been to so far is Jamaica. 

Meaning behind your blog name? It’s the nickname my family adopted for me because I was always the outdoors child, climbing trees and catching fish with my bare hands.

What are you scared of? Becoming complacent. 

Last time you were insulted? Yesterday. 

Most traumatic experience ? Answered!

Perfect date idea? Building a pillow fort out in the middle of no where and watching the eclipse! 

Favourite app on your phone? Ifunny because I’m problematic. 

What colour are the walls in your room? Blue with silver dusting.

Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber? Markiplier for sure. 

Share your favourite quote. "Wherever I end up after this... in whatever reality... all those moments between us were real, and they'll always be ours." Chloe from Life is Strange.

What is the meaning of life? It is whatever you make it.

Do you like horror movies? YEP! AND HORROR GAMES.

Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened? Yeah, when I came out of the closet. It was because she hated how I had to keep that weight on my shoulders so quietly.

Do you feel lucky or special in a way? I should be dead, but I’m not. I’m very lucky I’m still here. Even if sometimes I wish I wasn’t. 

Can you keep a secret? Yep.