#oh and not to be /that/ person but yes the Troy movie is valid

[patrochillesvibes]

Het were achilles and patroclus cousins? It's never been said in the illad yet people say that patroclus's grandma is achilles's great grandma , even though the illad never says this??

Maybe.

Here's Achilles' family tree per my Caroline Alexander translation:

I don't have a digital copy of Emily Wilson's translation, but it is relatively similar.

As you can see, Patroclus is not in the family tree.

Homer does mention Patroclus' father, Menoetius, a few times. He also mentions that Menoetius is the son of Aktor (or Actor). No mention of a mother.

Pindar suggest's Menoetius' mother being Aegina. Sound familiar? It should because Aegina had Aeacus who had Peleus.

Weird, right? Wouldn't that make Patroclus a peer of Peleus. Of course Aegina is a nymph and and nymphs are immortal, so a generation could have passed between her having her two sons.

I remain skeptical. I think if Patroclus had such a famous mother she would probably be mentioned by Homer as Thetis was mentioned. BUT THEN AGAIN these people were SUPER sexist so 🤷‍♀️

Here's the infamous Google family tree to explain the possible relation:

Here's a better one.

What is that like first cousins once removed?

So given it's not explicit in Homer and the connection and understanding of other sources is dodgy at best, it's really a matter of how /you/ want to define what is canon.

Is your canon The Iliad? Is it the entire Epic Cycle which we only have parts of? Or is your canon all works of Ancient Greece?

I mentioned this in another post, Greek mythology is fucking frustrating for this very reason. We know of a bunch of ancient authors who wrote about mythology and they each had their own headcanons. And of course no two headcanons are the same, just to fuck with us some more I swear.

For emphasis, here's a summary of the different hcs for Patroclus' mother:

But back to the cousin thing...

At least in various civilizations in Europe, marrying your first cousin was a thing up through the mid-20th century. Just Google search any European royal family. We mainly only now find it "weird" or "creepy" bcs of our modern understanding of genetics.

Google is telling me it was common in some periods and some areas of Ancient Greece. So if they were cousins, it most likely would not have been considered "icky" by their contemporaries through Homer. I mean those ppl in Athens created ritualized pedophilia so I think cousin incest is pretty tame in comparison

Many of the headcanons floating out there by all these dead famous white men are contradictory. For example: there are multiple versions of how Achilles gained his powers, there are multiple versions of Achilles' death. It can't all be true! So pick what you like and move on. Or better yet, make up your own canon for yourself! Don't stress about it.

[epicene-humanoid]

some trans Jeff thoughts:

he realized he was trans in elementary school and just went fuck it I'll just start introducing myself as Jeffery and see if anyone decides to stop me (as we know, jeff winger can get away with almost anything)

he got top surgery the second he could afford it (around the same time he started at his law firm), and probably bribed someone to keep it a secret

"I'm jeff winger and i would rather look at myself naked than the women I sleep with" are the words of a man proud of his transition

he's really insecure about his fashion sense, which is why he mostly dresses like the douchey guys at his firm in the start of the show, he thought you can't go wrong with the sleazy lawyer look

he will never admit it but he feels super good about the dean hitting on him, because the dean is a (cis) guy, acknowledging that Jeff is more manly than him

i think he starts out stealth and comes out to everyone one by one, probably starting with abed because he knows abed won't judge him and will probably just see it as an interesting backstory.

abed just says it's cool and maybe worth a prequel exploring Jeff's transition, and jeff asks him to predict how all of the members of the group will react to him coming out.

abed's predictions:

britta will be over-the-top supportive and do a ton of research about trans history, probably put together a slideshow just to prove how progressive she is, and jeff will be a little bit weirded out, but also touched that she did all that for him, though he would never let her know that

shirley will be confused, because she doesn't know how someone she trusts and knows so well could be part of a group she was raised to hate, but ultimately realizes that there's nothing actually against the lgbtq people in the bible, and, as a cool character development arch, starts to advocate against use of the bible to justify bigotry

troy will just think it over and decide that Jeff's physique and coolness are even awesomer knowing how much work he'd had to put in to be like that, and respects Jeff's manliness even more

annie will give him a hug, say something sweet about how she'll always love him, and worry about his health, because even she read somewhere that taking testosterone makes you more likely to have a heart attack, jeff will explain that the risk is still only as high a cis guy, and she'll be the one to always remind him to take his shots

peirce will say at best say "jeff winger used to be a chick?" and at worst call him a slur, either way there's sure to be a lot of misgendering from him, and pestering to know Jeff's deadname (needless to say, Jeff just doesn't tell peirce)

the whole group goes out of their way to keep their beach trips a secret from pierce (the girls don't want him there anyways, he's too liable to be creepy) even though jeff knows that even if pierce saw his scars, all he would have to do is make up a story about some childhood accident and pierce would never question it

sorry this ended up being super long. can I hear some of your headcanons for him?

YES ALL THIS!!! yes yes i’m fully accepting this as canon oh my god

i’m about to type a whole ass ESSAY at midnight because i have been DYING to talk about this for months ajfdksljk,,, this is going to be obscenely long and i might end up adding even more to it as i continue to rewatch the show because there is truly no shortage of trans jeff content (especially when you’re trans and see transness in every little thing ajdkslfkjs)

spoiler warning for literally everything about this show under the cut <3

i 100% agree, i feel like he realized he was trans super young, especially since in the show we see him as a little kid a couple of times. 

like look at little jeff with the oversized sweatshirt and little ponytail!! that’s childhood trans fashion. not to be dramatic but part of me thinks that jeff’s dad left before he fully came out to his family (which gives him even more angst about it, because until that one Thanksgiving episode, he’s never able to prove to his dad that he’s a better man), but part of me thinks that his dad left after he came out (which adds that spicy i-should-have-stayed-in-the-closet guilt that he has to work through). 

either way, because his dad wasn’t there, he had to base his concept of masculinity on something else, which was becoming a lawyer!! there’s some line that’s like “after the dust and divorce papers were settled the only man i looked up to was [the lawyer guy]”. like, replacing your father figure in your mind with the concept of “a job where you can talk your way in and out of anything and distort other people’s concept of reality”? that’s trans.

 and the fucking THANKSGIVING EPISODE... i struggle to watch it without crying hehe <3 yeowch! the dichotomy of willy jr. being the “wrong” kind of man because he’s “too soft” but jeff also not being enough despite adhering to all the social standards of masculinity... fuck!! this whole scene of him telling his dad “i am Not well adjusted” and talking about how he gave himself an “appendix surgery scar” when he was a kid and he still keeps the get-well-soon letters from his classmates under his bed? oh my god. the implication of people loving him not despite his scars but because of them?? trans. i can’t think about this episode for too long or i’ll start yelling.

OH and this scene? where he talks about how his mom got him a girl costume for halloween?? and everyone said “what a cute little girl” and after a few houses he stopped correcting them?? and “once the shame and the fear wore off, i was just glad they thought i was pretty”?? THAT’S TRANS... the man needs validation oh my god... and then in all the halloween episodes we see he has these ultra-masculine costumes (a cowboy, David Beckham, one of the fast and furious guys even though he never watched the movies, a boxer with his DAD’S boxing gloves... god) costumes are about becoming something else and he always chooses to be hypermasculine and that is trans.

THE PHYSICAL EDUCATION EPISODE!!!!!!! being uncomfortable during P.E. is a queer experience. period. but him being specifically uncomfortable in the clothes someone else is assigning to him? trans. “are we gonna talk about clothes like a girl? or use tapered sticks to hit balls around a cushioned mat like a man?” TRANS. and him eventually stripping in public? celebration of transness. and the fact that he eventually becomes comfortable in both the uniform and his own style!! trans!! god i love this episode. 

AND AND AND!!! the gay dean coming out episode!!! where it’s the three of them discussing the best way for the dean to come out as gay despite not entirely identifying with that label!! so we have both frankie and the dean who are sort of ambiguously queer, and jeff who’s a stealth trans man who’s probably only out to only the study group at this point. this scene where the dean and jeff have this like eyebrow communication while frankie is talking is just so cute. queer-to-queer communication. “I am so curious” “oh?” “intellectually.” “oh...” ajfdksljfk this scene just screams high school GSA to me and i love it so much.

and SPEAKING of the dean!! i totally see you on that. i feel like jeff has some internalized homophobia/biphobia (like he’d throw punches over someone else, but when it comes to himself he has a lot of shame). and also seeing the dean so confident in all his different outfits/costumes has a weird affect on him bc it’s like “okay, the dean, a cis guy, can do that, but i as a trans guy could Not because that’s Breaking the Rules”. which, like, throwback to the halloween thing. of course there’s no right way to be masculine, but mr. winger does not know that.

another thing!! the episode where their emails get leaked? that includes his emails with his therapist. fuck!! he was outed to the whole world in that episode!! no wonder he was so fucking angry!! this whole episode (and really any time he mentions his therapist) is so interesting when you think about them as a person he talks to about his transition. OH which adds to the thing with the dean!! “and you told your therapist you wanted to be alone this weekend” and “not you jeff, i know you’ll be visiting your dad” ”I told you to stop reading my emails”. luckily his study group has his back and just makes fun of him for emailing astronauts lmao

and WHO can forget “they’re giving out an award for most handsome young man!!!!” what else is there to say about this line besides: he’s trans. you know he didn’t get awarded enough for being a handsome young man when he was a kid, and no amount of compliments when he’s fully-grown can really make up for that. some people crash a kid’s bar mitzvah to cope with the fact that they struggled to be seen as themselves when they were a teenager <3

also his weird relationship with pierce? where he kind of hates him (understandably lmao) but at times has this almost-friends-almost-father-son relationship with him? especially in this episode where he’s forced to bond with him and ends up having a good time by accident (at a barber shop no less, the perfect place to Be A Man with your Man Friend). idk what to say about him besides the fact that pierce says his mom wanted a girl when he was born and made him dress like a girl (and his middle name is anastasia!) so if they’re gonna do any bonding over transness it’s gonna be that. 

okay one last thing and then i’ll shut up for the night. this episode kills me (and almost kills jeff hahahahelpi’mcrying). it’s a very Trans thing to not be able to visualize your future self, it just is. growing up trans at the time he did? i don’t know what kind of future he saw for himself, but i’m so happy that he ended up with a group of friends who became his family and love him the way they all do. i’m so emotional over this asshole it’s ridiculous. 

in conclusion:

they’re trans, your honor <3

[ayankun]

a lil essay of self-psychoanalysis re: hsmtmts & s2 finale

I have this outsider, "objective," kind of 3rd person observation that the stories crafted for Ricky, Nini, Gina, and EJ are great! In the context of, "how nice it is to have these modern, healthy stories modeled for the youth to absorb into their precious minds" spoken by a wise old millennial with a knowing nod.

And I do think that. But what I really mean, deep down, is "!!!!!????? I NEEDED THESE STORIES (?????!!!!!)."

I'm chewing on the fact that youth's media is celebrated when it's successful in Teaching The Youths(tm), or, you know, is just wholesome and positive by whatever standards are deemed wholesome and positive by the adults who are creating it in that moment, even while there's this assumption that in order to do or be those things, the overall product has to be, well, immature. Lacking nuance. Cheesy. Easily digestible by developing minds. ie, developed minds should not be able to enjoy the end result, and will in fact be looked at strangely when they admit that they do. (because enjoying products intended for immature minds is a sign of immaturity)

So yes, I do and have grappled with a need to "manage" my interest in this franchise, specifically the movies, as an adult. To casually never bring it up, you know? Because they're dumb movies for dumb kids, and I was a legal adult when they came out. Fifteen years ago. Even though, over the last fifteen years, it's constantly been something that I can engage with as-is, AND I've seen it evolve with me as I evolved, in that I have been consistently able to project some hyper-specific perspectives back into it and still see them echoed back to me when I needed the external validation (Troy Bolton is AFAB, Taylor is ace, etc).

High School Musical is just fucking important to me.

So now this new show comes out, and obviously it's millennial-bait because we're the only ones who would care -- we were the Youths targeted by this Youth Media, after all -- but it's fifteen years later and the post-Youth Adults are told it's not cool to be into kids' shows, and the kids (Gen-Z folks, who are themselves also sometimes literal adults today), may or may not even targetable by commercial media at all, much less tempted by a bygone relic of a prior culture. So who is this show for? The fans or the kids?

And the answer is yes. Yes. It's for the fans and the kids. Anybody who can get something out of it should get something out of it. And they show this by having Gen-Z characters alongside Millennial characters, and they're having these Millennials speak from experience, not all of us grew up to be Troy Boltons, some of us (and some of you) will be Coach Boltons, and Ms. Darbuses, or whatever else you want to be, because we were told we had to want to be championship basketball players and Broadway stars, and we had to learn on our own that being a pizza man or helping out on the family farm is okay, too.

So that's my appreciation of the standards that are deemed wholesome and positive by the adults who are creating Youth Media in this particular moment. BUT IN ADDITION TO THAT, the craftsmanship of the vehicle for these messages is astronomically higher-brow than most mature media created by and for mature adults, so I'm also having to re-learn something that I already knew, in that Youth Media = Trash is just an unfair stereotype that perpetuates the righteousness of those that will bully others for engaging with "trash" when they ought to have better (less immature) tastes, and perpetuates my state of "oh, better never tell anyone about the things that are important touchstones for me and my personal history, because they'll get the wrong impression & think less of me." Which is, as you may know, a perspective that bleeds into every last aspect of my social life, and generally has made just being a human pretty overwhelming to date.

I need to (attempt to) stop wasting my time on people who are going to judge me for being authentic. If anything, I need to start judging them. I need to learn that I'm not doing anything wrong, just being me. I honestly don't know if that sounds believable, that I haven't learned this yet.

So yeah, HSMTMTS. I'm not a kid who needs a helping hand through my formative years. That's what HSM was for. What can this show offer me, someone who is 15-20 years older than its target demographic? Oh, only everything?

When I say, I'm so glad to see these stories told --

I'm glad Ricky gets to understand how his unexamined trauma has affected his (social) life, and I'm thrilled that he gets to work on finding productive ways forward even though that path looks different than the one he thought he wanted;

I'm glad Nini gets to find her voice, her independence, her sense of self through creative expression, and get to feel that validation from putting herself out there and getting something back from an appreciative audience, even when doing the thing that's right for her appears inherently selfish, I'm glad she gets to be selfish;

I'm joyous that Gina gets to take a risk on dropping her mask and being her authentic self, to find a place where she can be the person she is, where she's appreciated for being exactly that and not some can-do persona she's constructed, that she gets to find satisfaction in being vulnerable and understanding her own needs, and that she's told time and time again, "stop running, you idiot, this is home, we want you here;"

I'm staggeringly sympathetic with EJ's sense of "shit, I'm so dumb and I overstepped and ruined everything, shit shit shit what's wrong with me," 'cause hell I've been there too many times and it's all-consuming and awful, but I'm euphoric at his courage to go out on that limb, and I'm vicariously smitten as all heck that he gets to experience what it's like to have those feelings reciprocated in the end --

I don't really mean that I'm glad the Youth of America get to have their impressionable minds sculpted while there's still the chance to sculpt them, I'm saying any person of any age can find resonance in these stories, and that I, SPECIFICALLY, AN OLD-ASS MILLENNIAL, FIND AN OVERWHELMING AMOUNT OF RESONANCE IN THESE STORIES THAT ARE PAINFULLY AND BEAUTIFULLY IMPORTANT FOR ME TO ENGAGE WITH TODAY AND CERTAINLY FOR MANY DAYS TO COME.

And I'm going to stop judging myself for that.

[quietlydiabolic]

The problems with Borderlands 3′s story

Most of the common complaints about BL3's story don't bother me that much. We're not given a lot of background and history about the twins and their motivations, and that's okay. Borderlands has always been a little light on those things. Would I have loved it if they'd done more there? Of course. But compare it against BL1's "blink and you missed it" plot, and the primary antagonist (?) Commandant Steele. What we know about Steele: she worked for Atlas, she was a siren, she had a Russian accent and pretty braids. That's it. What are her powers? What is her personality like? What's her motive? Who knows? It didn't stop me from enjoying BL1.

Frankly, not even our boy Jackie got much background in BL2. Character development? Yes. Motives? Kinda. But his history was left intentionally sketchy, the biggest difference being BL2 has you pick up echo recordings as a mission, in BL3 they're there if you happen to stumble across them. (Based on reddit comments, I do feel like many gamers did NOT find them.) Almost all of Handsome Jack's back story and driving force was fleshed out in the many many spin-offs and DLCs that followed.

(And I hope, I hope, I hope that the Calypso's get similar treatment. Not optimistic, but man oh man do I hope.)

What I AM ticked off about is the lack of appropriate reactions from the twins, and the lack of any payoff for ideas that the game toys with and subsequently drops.

The hint of a possible schism? Great stuff. It's just part of the normal ups and downs of sibling rivalry? A valid choice. But the way it's handled feels like it was just dumped and forgotten. If the plan was that they patch things up and continue working as a team, then SHOW US THAT, don't just "let's never speak of this again". There's no payoff!

I do think that Tyreen grieves for Troy, she essentially drops the chipper streamer / televangelist shtick after he dies, getting snippy and brusque. But it really feels... so, so unsatisfying. Jack reacted violently to Angel's death. It's a turning point for him as a villain. The fact that Tyreen doesn't just... doesn't make sense.

Even Typhon's reaction. He's set out to stop his evil kids and knows they're past the point of redemption. He knows this is going to end with their deaths. But he still should've shown some grief for his son! Even if Troy wasn't the favorite, it's still his kid we're talking about! Yes, he should have been understanding to the Vault Hunters's, but still crushed at the loss of a child. As is, his reaction is unnaturally, and uncharacteristically cold.

---

The Borderlands franchise intentionally leaves the player characters underdeveloped and always has. I don't mind that.

The cut scenes have the Vault Hunters's sitting out, and honestly, there's an explanation for it each time. (IE: They're trapped in the docking station because the doors won't open when Lilith loses her powers. They're off raiding the vaults when a couple other key scenes happened.) Unfortunately, this is not super obvious. They should have made it clearer, I see a lot of people confused and frustrated about this.

The real problem I have is that BL3's story is that it relies on horror-movie type set ups where the protagonists suffer temporary bouts of stupidity for the plot to advance.

Lilith's power is Phaseshift. SHE TELEPORTS. Why the hell does she conveniently forget this when the twins attack?

Maya's power is Phaselock. Why would she grab Troy when she can, you know, just leave him trapped in a bubble? He was already 👏 in 👏 a 👏 bubble 👏! She's an accomplished fighter, and let me tell you something about real fighting: you never, ever, EVER give up distance if you can possibly avoid it. It's phenomenally stupid.

These are not unintelligent characters. They just suffer plot-induced idiotitis. A good writer can work around those things. There was no reason for this nonsense. I waited until I got far enough in the second playthrough to make sure there wasn’t something I missed the first time... and... yeah. No excuse.

[anarcho-decepticonism]

we fixed hsm

here are our 3 page fanfic plans

Troy & gabriella break up after like a month in college. Gabriella is around people smarter than her for the first time in her life & she’s really struggling & he doesn’t understand what she’s going thru & she realizes that he’s not that empathetic & bad at communicating. She’s single for like a year just adjusting to college & making new friends & figuring out who she is after hs & also not putting her entire identity in her intelligence. She tries out for theater & they’re like “you’re not that good at singing” & she’s like “never mind” bc she liked it because it was with her friends in the first place. She finds community elsewhere & eventually is in a more fulfilling & communicative & mature relationship

Troy is having a lot of trouble bc being a student athlete isn’t enough at FUCKING BERKELEY!!! And he’s having trouble at school. He also isn’t getting lead roles in the theater program bc it’s like. A hobby as opposed to his major/career path. He has to learn to like things without being the best at them & also communicate w people better. He’s no longer super special and the focal point of everything. He immediately tries to rebound by getting a new gf & she realizes right away that he just wants her to love him and pay attention to him and solve his problems and is like “fuck that dude go to therapy”. He goes to the school therapist which sucks but he finds a good therapist & like. Improves as a person lol. He has to think more abt the experiences of others and not need to have everyone love him all the time. He gets a dog -- good for him bc he has to be responsible for the life of something else but also dogs are very affectionate

Sharpay goes to UA & at first loves it bc she’s the star but then is super underwhelmed & depressed. She talks to Ryan and he’s like “you know you can just transfer” and she’s like “wow i’m so smart i’ll just transfer”. After like a semester she transfers to a different school with a good theater program (not Juliard tho). She has a good mentor figure who’s a prof who’s like “your ambition and drive are good things actually especially bc ur a woman and will be told that ur awful & bossy for standing up for yourself.” she makes her first real friend other than her brother (i am So sad) in a theater class-- not someone who worships her but like an actual human connection. Specifically a girl who she respects & doesn’t feel she has to compete with. She has a learning moment when her friend gets the lead role and Sharpay is genuinely proud of her and she realizes she wouldn’t have been suited to that part and that she doesn’t have to be the center of attention all the time. She learns to derive self worth from her love of theater instead of from everyone validating her. Also her friend is goth & tells her that all the pink she wears is bad. They both initially loved the theater bc they wanted to be accepted but learn together that they can just find worth in each other and themselves and their work. Also at one point Sharpay starts dating someone and gets really annoying and her friend is like “you’re being annoying” and they get in a fight and Sharpay is like “i don’t even like him that much but i feel like i have to be in a huge romance relationship (bc of troy and gabriella but also Society)” and this eventually leads to her realizing that she’s a lesbian and also that she has an unhealthy view of relatioships. She goes to therapy (it takes her a really long time to go but once she realizes she gets to talk abt herself she is more willing). Important that she does not date her friend (her emotional support system) but she does eventually get a gf. It takes her a long time to figure out how to be a good girlfriend and that her professional ambitions are different than her personal ambitions (she’s used to treating her relationships like a business instead of a two-sided thing where there needs to be emotional connection and both people being like vulnerable w each other)

Her and Ryan having space from each other where he can shine by himself and she feels like she doesn’t have to upstage him all the time. He feels for a long time that he can’t rely on her bc she’s a mess but eventually he texts her like 16 times in a row abt a person in his program he’s really annoyed at and she’s like “oh my god he’s ruining your show you Have to talk to the director!!!!” and it’s really helpful to just talk it out w her even if he doesn’t take her advice. It’s helpful for him to realize that it is a problem and he’s not overreacting but also that he should not take things to the extremes that Sharpay does lol. He should not poison this person. They eventually fall into a good & more balanced sibling relationship where they can rely on each other for a certain subset of things but they aren’t the only people in each others’ lives

Ryan meets other gay guys at Juliard who tell him that his hats are bad and show him how to dress not like an idiot. They’re like “it’s ok buddy. I know you were the only out guy at your high school but you don’t need to do that”. He’ll like. Do fine in college! He’s like fairly confident in his abilities and identity & good at like. Balancing career & personal life. He’s fine enough at school and doing well in his theater things. He’s charismatic and makes more good friends. He “formally comes out” to his parents in like a big thing. He choreographs it and makes Kelsey write him a song to sing. His parents are like “well we knew that but did you have to make it this much of a thing” and he’s like “yes”. His mom is generally more accepting than his dad and his dad is like “please don’t talk about this to the people at the country club” and he’s like “i… wasn’t? I don’t know these people. They’re your friends”

After college Ryan gets famous before Sharpay does and generally has a good thing going wrt doing choreography for “really important things” (he isn’t public facing)-- he’s good at choreo and also good at working with divas (thanks Sharpay i love u). He gets Sharpay a good role in a thing but he makes a big deal like “I got you an audition i didn’t get u the part u did it all yourself :)” but he totally got her the part lol in that he recommended her. She does a rlly good job tho (obvs) and does well in the spotlight bc she;s actually like. Hardworking and driven and good at musical theater. Her Big Break is in like a movie adaptation of a musical. She’s Glinda when they finally make a Wicked movie. The choreography is really good bc Ryan does it

Taylor tries to become a politician but slowly realizes that her passion for being an activist doesn’t super align with that and figures out that she wants to enact social change without like. Being a part of the system. She has a youtube channel where she talks about social issues and wears her stupid sweater vests & ties. Also she dates someone who likes women. Before she was invested in the public-facing aspect of the relationship and she learns what it means to actually have private moments of caring & how to not follow a stereotypical relationship and instead to do like. What she actually wants to. She’s bi and she dates a woman and enjoys not having societal expectations wrt how relationships are supposed to go. She dates a guy and realizes that a m/f relationship also doesn’t have to conform to societal expectations. Both are super important experiences for her even if neither are “endgame” (i love u matty)

Chad is heartbroken after Troy goes to a different school but tries to hide it/is in denial. He kind of lashes out at people who want to make friends with him and goes into a depression spiral. He eventually snaps out of it when Sharpay (who is still going to UA at this point) is like “what’s your problem?? Anyway i started going to therapy and it helped actually. Toodles!” and he’s like “what the fuck just happened” but he makes an appointment. The first session he’s like “hwatever this is stupid idk why i’m here. Whatever” and the therapist is like “yeah. Okay.” but he eventually opens up and then like. Learns to see himself as not part of a friendship or group/team and see himself as an individual. He gets over Troy, which takes him a while but he does it & we’re proud of him <3 it also takes a while to make friends who he can be emotionally vulnerable around bc he’s never really had that type of relationship before (bc he and troy are very guys being dudes & he like. Wasn’t super close w Taylor as they were p much just a relationship for show). He makes friends w both some guys and girls who aren’t all on the basketball team and has friends from lots of different places. This process takes him like. All of college.

Chad doesn’t date anyone in college and afterwards it’s super awkward bc it’s like the first time he’s actually dating someone. He ran into Ryan and they have a talk where Ryan’s like “you could’ve been my first love but you were never really emotionally available bc u were in love w a straight guy and also not confident in the fact that u are gay. Like that summer was fun but it wasn’t real” and chad is like “oh”. Ryan was like in a serious relationship at that point but didn’t mention it bc he didn’t want to feel like he was rubbing it in lol. And then Chad thinks about things. This is like during a Thanksgiving break while still in college. Chad eventually dates a guy who understands how it’s like. Hard to be gay and figuring out relationships and stuff at different life stages.

Kelsey gets negative feedback for the first time and freaks out but eventually learns that a prof who only gives positive feedback when she deserves it is good actually. She incorporates criticism and starts to write songs that don’t suck. She continues to wear awful outfits. She has a nice girlfriend who also wears awful outfits. They are an awful annoying couple but they’re happy. They do annoying theater kid things

Ms Darbus realizes that it’s bad to force her students to completely write & choreograph their own shows and stops pouring her entire life into high school theater and fixes her problems with her “legal domestic partner” whom she was feuding with

Zeke realizes that he likes Sharpay in the same way he likes celebrities and that isn’t a crush. He makes plenty of friends in college bc everyone loves a guy who brings baked goods to places. He continues doing basketball & baking as hobbies but neither is a career & he finds passion elsewhere. He loves doing whatever he’s currently doing but doesn’t have like a Thing he wants to do forever and it takes him a while to find a forever career. He ends up teaching a variety of classes at community college and is happy doing that but also he might not do that forever. He comes to terms with his “contentment w the transience of life” and is like “if i’m happy doing what i’m doing now then that’s good enough for now”. He serves as a good contrast to all of the super driven people who know exactly where they want to be (gabriella, sharpay, ryan)

We did it. we fixed high school musical

[tessatechaitea]

Team Titans #10

Face/Off is one of only two movies I've fallen asleep to in public. It made it super confusing after I woke up.

The reason I had fallen asleep during Face/Off is that I had been drinking previously. The other movie I fell asleep during was The Last of the Mohicans. I fell asleep during that because I had spent the night previously trying to sleep in some ivy outside a lawyer's office in the rain in Sacramento, California. It did not involve drinking. Why does the movie Face/Off have that slash in it? It wasn't about computer programming, was it? I only know it has the slash because I just looked it up to see what year it came out. IMDB credits Travolta as playing "Sean Archer / Castor Troy" and Cage as playing "Castor Troy / Sean Archer". Do you think the actors thought of this movie as testing the limits of their acting ability? Or did the producers pick Cage and Travolta because they act exactly the same way and realized this character switch wouldn't cause either of them any problems? By the way, Battalion is still a terrible character. I wonder why DC Comics didn't bring back Twat Battalion in The New 52?

Wrong.

Nightrider makes friends with a bunch of vampires who want to turn their food into more vampires. That seems like a bad way to avoid extinction. It also sounds weird. I've never eaten a ham and then thought, "I wish this ham could fuck me." I mean, sure, I could fuck the ham but that's normal behavior. Who would want the ham to become sentient so that it can seduce me? Perverts, that's who! Back at Donna's, the rapist has been raped and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel. I mean, rape is bad, right? But The Bible is pretty much pro eye for an eye, rape for a rape. No wait. It's actually more lenient with rape than taking somebody's teeth or eyes. The Bible is eye for an eye, a rape for a marriage and compensation to keep everybody other than the victim from being harmed and disgraced by the foul deed of the rapist. I don't think I should say that that sounds reasonable but it is The Bible. I've heard that it's the rule book for living! And that must be true because I've never taken its advice and my life is a mess!

Charlie reacts to Mirage being raped as if somebody had scratched his Ferrari.

That's a feminist joke about how men only care about sexual abuse when it's centered at women they've objectified with their man-feelings and not a joke about how rape is equal to scratching the paint on a car. So stop being angry at me and realize I've made a valid point. Also maybe go watch Boxing Helena. Also maybe it's not so much a joke as a scathing bit of social commentary! Maybe all of my commentary is scathing bits of social commentary since it rarely makes people laugh. I should stop thinking of this as a comedy blog and thinking of it as a serious blog attempting to cure the ills of society! That would certainly make me feel better when I get anonymous comments telling me I'm not funny. I can just reply, "I wasn't trying to be funny! This is serious shit!" On a side note, how big do you think Deathwing's penis is if it may have caused internal damages? I know they mentioned he was ruthless and brutal in his sexual attack of Mirage but can a guy with a three inch penis cause internal damages just because he's being brutal? Remember when considering this question that this is a serious blog now! Meanwhile Judge and Jury take a field trip to New York to meet the mysterious person behind The Darkening!

Here's some advice, Judge and Jury: to disguise yourself, you can just take off your costume instead of putting another costume on top of your Team Titans costume.

For those who don't know Judge and Jury, they're a nihilistic Titans team from the future and not a vaudeville act. If you've been reading this series and you've seen Mirage rape Dick and Evil Raven rape Councilwoman Alderman and Deathwing rape Mirage and you've found yourself thinking, "I haven't gotten enough rape yet," well good news! Evil Raven rapes each of the members of Judge and Jury one by one while the others watch and Deathwing jerks off! It might not be physical rape but it's hard to tell since it all takes place cloaked in her olive green robe. It might just be psychological rape. But, if we're being serious (and we totally are now!), there isn't a lot of difference between physical rape and psychological rape. Some people might want to argue that one is worse than the other but those people are probably victims of one or the other and want to feel like a bigger martyr. Did that sound insensitive to an imaginary group making an imaginary argument that I just made up? Well, so be it! I stand by my imagination! So the Team Titans came back to Donna's place to get help to fight the vampires but they're momentarily distracted by the rape of Mirage. After being compassionate and making sure to tell her multiple times that it wasn't her fault, they remember that Battalion might be dead. They raid Battalion's stash of weapons and head back to New York.

Count me in!

Kole arrives from wherever Kole has been (the storage room for boring comic book characters?) to free Battalion just as the other Team Titans arrive. They wade in slaughtering the vampires. I think that's okay because vampires are monsters. Or maybe because they're already technically dead? Or maybe because it's easier than figuring out how to jail them after the battle is over? Anyway, it probably doesn't matter because the master vampire will almost certainly get away to haunt the Team Titans in fourteen months or so. I suppose there are still some readers who, after reading the scene where Evil Raven rapes every member of Judge and Jury, are still thinking, "I don't know. This rapey comic book just doesn't have enough rape in it. Is it really worth the $1.75 cover price?" Well have I got a surprise for you!

Free bonus rape content!

As I guessed, the lead vampire gets away while Kole murders the rest of them by using her crystals to bend the sun's rays into pre-dawn New York City. Then she disappears leaving the Team Titans free to go find some of that sweet dick they were leaving for dessert. Team Titans #10 Rating: I think part of the point of this comic book was to present a message that rape victims shouldn't blame themselves for being raped. Try to pretend, for just a second, that you have no knowledge of our current civilization. Now think you've just heard somebody say, "It's not your fault for being raped." How fucked up would you think that entire civilization was when that was a message that had to be reiterated time and time again? You would think, "No shit it's not the victim's fault! Why would you even need to say that?" And yet here we are living in a society where a guy writes a comic book that uses rape in so many plot points writing an issue reminding victims that rape isn't their fault! You would be floored to find out how much energy goes into convincing victims that it wasn't there fault. But then you'd see how people react to women telling their stories and you'd be all, "Oh shit. Okay. I see what's going on here. Holy fuck." Then you would get vocal and start telling people to believe the claims of victims! But then somebody would start shouting at you that people are innocent until proven guilty! And you'd be all, "Okay, granted, that's a thing but why are you instantly dismissing this person's claims?!" And then the person would be all, "Some people lie, you know!" And then you'd be all, "Yes, but the statistics don't match up anywhere near your argument! And besides, isn't that what the whole proving people innocent thing is you mentioned earlier?" And then they'd be all, "He said, she said!" And you'd be all, "Well, yeah, but she said he committed a major crime and he said he didn't do it. You know who else says they didn't do it? Everybody all the time!" And then they'd be all, "Yeah! Exactly! Like people who didn't do it!" And by then you'd be so tired of arguing that you'd just go to the victim and be all, "You know what? This isn't your fault."

[deborahdeshoftim5779]

Questions for HSM III (Part III)

Welcome back, folks. Pen in hand, we shall traverse into this abyss. 

This section will include some notes on various important scenes as well as questions, as not everything is objectionable. 

On Juilliard (continued)

As it so happens, I had some afterthoughts on the last post, so I just want to expand on the Juilliard section. I see a great hypocrisy in Chad, a complete 180 from the first movie, when he decides to support Troy’s theatre ambitions. Granted, this was after his webcam stunt that almost destroyed Troy’s relationship and trust. Now, he’s guffawing because his best friend is gifted enough to earn a Performance Arts scholarship. Remember, Hoops needs to be Hoops. Chad and Troy are on completely different wavelengths throughout the movie. It wouldn’t be a problem if Chad didn’t resort to mocking anything Troy did that didn’t fit the image. 

On Ryan Evans

Just in case you guys think I’m a complainer, I have no complaints about Ryan Evans. In this movie, he is thinking for himself. He commendably defied Sharpay’s Reign of Teror during HSM II, and now is having none of her usual attempts to subdue and intimidate him. Furthermore, he questions/vocally disputes her presumptions and judgements. In the New York Deli scene, I think the wheels in his mind are already turning as to winning the Juilliard Scholarship for himself. And let’s be clear: Ryan loves validation. He craves validation. But with that ambition is a sensitivity and awkwardness which grounds him and makes him enjoyable to watch. He wants to win that scholarship himself, which is why he brings up the fact that there is only one opportunity. It is also notable that Sharpay actually admits her reliance upon Ryan to succeed (”With you we can win!”)

Also kudos to Ryan for taking Troy’s side RE Juilliard. “Well, he seemed pretty surprised to me.” Sharpay makes the unsubstantiated claim that Troy secretly applied for Juilliard (as if the School belongs to her), showing that despite having pursued Troy like a copy throughout high school, she knows absolutely fuck all about him. (I’d really love to know how Troypay shippers justify her calling him a “puppy dog” behind his back).

By the way, “I Want It All” is one of my favourite numbers in the movie. Say what you want about the writing, but they didn’t half-step with the music/choreography.

Why didn’t we get to see how Ryan developed the choreography for the musical? He’s incredibly talented and his creative genius was responsible for the musical’s success as much as Kelsi’s compositions.

Only wrong move on Ryan’s part was agreeing to the fake-romance stunt with Kelsi, but that is more of a monstrous screenwriting crime, a manipulation of a character to suit oneself, rather than to suit Ryan as a person. I will discuss this in more detail later. 

On Taylor KcKessie and Gabriella Montez

1- Throughout the movie, Taylor is nothing but encouraging and supportive of Gabriella’s ambitions. Furthermore, she persistently exhorts Gabriella to admit that she is up for the Stanford Freshman Honors Program, something that Gabriella steadfastly refuses to do. Of course, Taylor could have divulged this information herself, but chooses not to do so. This is loyal and commendable. Though I dislike Gabriella, I do like her friendship with Taylor. But it’s crystal clear that Gabriella is on her own planet throughout; she isn’t even listening when Taylor says “you’re going to be hearing from them any day... Hello?” To which the response is “Taylor, these things take time!” Similar (but far less brutal) condescension.

What things take time, Gabriella? The response from Stanford, or the time you took to tell your boyfriend about the Program? I’d love to know. 

On Waltzing and Wasting Time on School Rooftops

1- This scene is an embarrassment, a cringeworthy spectacle that makes me want to wash my eyeballs. Everything here is objectionable. Troy says he needs Gabriella’s help to pick out a suit. 

And my question is WHY? 

2- Troy claims he has never been to a dance. You seriously start to wonder about his later claim that he sees things much clearer in trees. This is a kid who has been in a school musical and an exclusive Talent Show, during which he... danced. This is a kid who agreed to do a further musical, during which he would... dance. I cannot fathom his newfound innocence to all things dance-related. What else can’t he do? Comb his own hair? Brush his own teeth? The poor kid has no self-belief whatsoever. 

And my question is WHY? Ludicrous scriptwriting here. 

By the way, Troy’s awkward excitement about the prom here serves to highlight the cruelty of Gabriella bailing on him much later. 

3- After Troy has claimed he has no idea how to do the piss-easy waltz (credit to BoltonEvans again), even though he had no problem with more complicated dance-moves beforehand, Gabriella mentions her father! But instead of getting the necessary background that would have given Gabriella some depth, Mr Montez is mentioned solely for plot-related reasons. Knowing more about the absent father figure in Gabriella’s life would make her far more sympathetic in at least one respect. For example, it might explain her eagerness to make a good impression on Mr. Bolton in HSM I. Instead, he’s just there so Troy can waltz. Oh script, why? WHY? 

I’m assuming her father died, else Gabriella would not have smiled in such a nostalgic manner. “Can I Have This Dance” is absurdly boring, and I always skip this part. How no teacher or other student saw these two spinning around like ravers at a nighclub on the school rooftops is beyond me. The school day had just begun! And miss me with the rain/kiss nonsense. Honestly another forgettable Troyella scene. 

4- Speaking of rain, Troyella have the most AWKWARD kissing scenes ever. Just get to it already! I’m turning away from the screen, chewing my nails, pretending to be interested in the table whilst they take a millennium to just do the damn deed. On a more interesting note, Gabriella seems to really like water. This accords with her childlike, playful nature-- possibly endearing were it not overshadowed by her selfishness, arrogance, cruelty and hypocrisy. Why does she like water so much? Childhood memories? 

Anyway, Troy says “So is that a yes?” and Gabriella agrees, demonstrating her extraordinary ability to lie in many different languages. I don’t care what anyone else thinks: once she said yes, she had an OBLIGATION to attend prom. The fact that she didn’t, the fact that she waited until two days prior to bail on Troy is an indictment upon her character. (Or what’s left of it). 

On Stealing Clothes

1- That’s a straight detention for Troy and Chad. The teachers are inexplicably lax throughout-- how on earth did they allow these guys to dash through a game and what looks like a mechanic/ D & T room before reaching the stage? They could have injured themselves, or hurt someone else. This whole scene is just an excuse to justify the existence of Jimmie and Donny. Not satisfied with causing disruption to a game, running around heavy machines and dashing through corridors, they decide to interrupt rehearsal. But not just any rehearsal; it’s the same musical they both signed up for! 

Seriously? Why did this scene make the final cut? What value does it bring to the movie? (Apart from perhaps demonstrating that Troy and Chad must have been a nightmare as kids growing up). 

More analysis upcoming, folks. Because the fun never stops. :D