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penissirius · 2 years ago

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Seo Changbin VS Feelings

Seo Changbin x male reader

SUMMARY: Changbin isn't the best at feelings and emotions. Misunderstandings happen because he's stupid lol.

ALTERNATIVE TITLE: 3 aussies and a devil bunny fight dwaeki over golden retriever child

SPECIAL THANKS TO: @ldrei Thank you for encouraging me to finish this! This is dedicated to you!💕

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: AJ is my OC and he's used as the M/n of this story! Miyeon is my partners OC, she is AJ's sister, and is dating Felix. I actually have 2 full stories one a AO3 chapter story and the other a non-idol social media AU that ill post here. If you'd be interested, please let me know so i know at least someone is looking forward to those stories T-T

AUTHORS NOTE: So, I wrote the beginning of this for my English essay and it was the only essay I've gotten an 100% and a good comment on so I went to Tumblr and my partner asking if I should finish it and publish it because I liked it and my teacher loved it (her Not knowing it was a Stray kids fanfic I wrote just for the essay lol) after some convincing I finished it and now here it is. I would like to apologize because this was finished in December, and I promised I would post it after it was done and never did. I hit a really big depression block in my life, and I didn't want to do anything but now I'm back! Just a heads up I wrote this for my Victorian Drama Essay so don't hope too hard for a so happy ending lol. Have fun reading!

WARNINGS: Arguing, Angstish Ig, Insecure thoughts, breakdowns, panic attacks, yelling, violence, bAd WoRdS

FEMALE ALIGNED PLEASE DNI <3

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AJ was on his way to the JYP Entertainment building to meet up with his boyfriend? Close friend? Friend with romantic benefits? AJ didn’t know but Changbin had said he had something seriously important to talk to him about, AJ had hoped this was when Changbin would finally ask him out for real. Oh, boy was it the opposite of that. AJ texted his best friend and sister, Miyeon, that he was on his way to JYPE and that if she needed a ride home then he could give her one. When he was done texting her he speeded off eager to see the man he loves, he also had serious but good information to share with him.

Meanwhile, at JYPE, Changbin is pacing back and forth in his studio panicking and talking to the one person he could for love help, Hyunjin, which honestly wasn’t that good of an idea but he was better than the rest of their friends. “God Hyunjin do something! Give me advice or something idiot!” Changbin says finally standing in one spot facing his group member while tugging on his own hair. Hyunjin stood pushing Changbin into the seat behind him, “First of all sit-down and get your hands out of your hair. You’re stressing yourself out and the stylist will be pissed if you pull any of your hair out.” Changbin took a deep breath and put his hands on his lap. “Now I can’t really help you seeing as this is your own very stupid plan. Everyone in the group is dating someone in some way or another. Why are you purposely putting yourself through this? Even Chan has someone. Chan has more game than you!”

Changbin sat in silence for a few seconds before looking at his tall dramatic member. “I don’t want to take any chances, what if it’s not what he expects and leaves me? What if we date and get found out? He’s not an idol. He’d get way more hate and things like that! I couldn’t do that to him.” Hyunjin just shakes his head. “So instead of letting him make that decision, you decided to break his heart and make the decision for him? Well-”, Hyunjin started walking to the door, “You do that but don’t expect me to help protect you when the three Aussies and Lee know find out what you did. Even tho I think your stupid for giving up a guy who does so much, some that you don't even know, for you. I kinda understand why you're doing it. You better not hurt him, he’s the sweetest when it comes to his friends. So don’t make it worse than it has to be.” That's all Hyunjin said before walking out.

The shorter man is left sitting in an empty studio by himself, left with thoughts, “Dammit! I didn’t even think about the AJ protection Squad™️ that would be after me! If AJ doesn’t kill me himself they sure will.” Just then his inner voice said ‘Remember you used to be one of them, but now you’re about to shatter his heart just because fans and other companies believe it's wrong for you to date.’ Changbin shakes his head arguing back, “It’s more than that. Us being together could damage the careers we both worked so hard for! If people were to find out he’d get non-stop hate! I’m just protecting him!” He would definitely sound crazy if anyone else was around to hear him argue with his self-consciousness. He shut up quickly when he heard his phone ding with a message from AJ saying he was on his way up to the studio.

When AJ got inside the studio he hugged the shorter man happily before sitting in the armchair that Hyunjin was previously sitting in, looking towards Changbin with a bright smile. “Hi, Hi Baby Binnie!” Changbin swore that AJ’s beautiful smile would be the death of him one day. Changbin gave a nervous smile back, “Hey AJ” “So what serious thing did you want to talk to me about?”AJ tilted his head confused, still smiling. The idol was starting to panic not knowing how to talk about it without hurting AJ’s feelings. “Didn't you say you had good news? You should go first!” AJ laughed, smiling less than before, “Well whatever you wanted to talk about seems to be making you stressed and upset so maybe you should go first and I'll tell you the good news when you're feeling better!” Changbin sighed, AJ was right it's better to rip the bandaid off now rather than give himself more time to think it over and panic.

“Alright, please promise that you won't take this personally and you won't get mad at me.” That brought a small nervous giggle from AJ, “I've never gotten mad at you before, I'm sure it's not that bad!” Changbin took a deep breath and finally said, “I don't think we can be a thing anymore- we should just stay friends…” It was silent for a minute before Changbin looked up at AJ and saw that he no longer had a smile on his face. AJ paused, it was like his whole world stopped when he heard Changbin say those words. Changbin had never seen AJ speechless or that upset in the year that he's known him. AJ sat paused and baffled, Changbin didn't want to be with him anymore let alone be officially together. “AJ?-” Changbin was cut off when the taller one turned to him blank-faced and asked, “Why?” The idol was confused and because of all the panic earlier his brain was no longer working.

“Why what?” Changbin asked stupidly. AJ scoffed, still looking at him with the same blank face that Changbin had never seen before, likely none of his friends other than his sister had seen him with a blank emotionless face, that just wasn't him. “Why all of a sudden do you not want to be with me? How long have you been waiting to tell me? You let me believe this whole time that you actually liked me and there was a possibility that we could be together. So WHY is my question?” Changbin took a moment to gather his thoughts before replying. “Us being together would be a risk. It’s not that I don't like you, because I do! It's just that our careers could be ruined if anyone were to find out. I know that being an artist and dancer is very important to you. I don't wanna be the reason that all falls plus if I get any scandals I might damage everyone in Stray Kids' careers as well.”

AJ stood angry but still pretty much blank. “Alright, guess it’s my fault for thinking that you were different and didn't care about what everyone else thought. I'm sorry for thinking that maybe we would be able to be together and happy like my sister and Felix. And more importantly, I'm sorry that I went through all this trouble for you. I stepped out of my comfort zone and went through so many panic attacks for you. Turns out it’s not enough. Guess I'll see you around Changbin.” AJ slammed a piece of paper down on the desk in front of Changbin before storming out to go find his sister and then go home. Changbin, saddened and confused, tried to call after AJ but he was already gone down the hall and into a different part of the building. Changbin got up and looked at the paper that AJ left, it was crumbed and there was a corner torn off at the bottom. It was a printed-out picture from JYPs staff to AJ saying that he passed all the auditions and was officially a JYP trainee. Changbin stared at the paper in shock, feeling more like an asshole than he originally did.

AJ walked from Changbin’s studio downstairs to the practice room that he knew his sister and Felix would be in and slammed the door open, way harder than he meant to, and looked at his sister. “Oh, hey AJ- What's wrong? Who did it? WHO hurt you? Whose ass do I have to beat?” Miyeon immediately noticed the difference in her brother's face despite his trying to act like his normal self. “Nothings wrong, I'm just ready to go home.” AJ said, walking over to them. “Nope, something is clearly wrong, sit. Sit your ass down. Family Circle.” Miyeon said, looking up at him from where she and Felix were sitting on the ground. “Since when did we still do Family Circle? And how is it Family Circle if it’s just me, you, and Felix?” AJ said, sitting in the half circle they formed. “Shut up now tell me who hurt you, imma beat their ass!” Miyeon said. “We beating ass? Should I call Chan?” Felix said, pulling out his phone.

“There is no reason to call Chan. Don’t call him, I said I was okay!” AJ said trying to reason with the two Aussies but trying to do that is like talking to a wall. “Call him!” “I’m calling him!” Miyeon and Felix said after staring at AJ for a sec. AJ groaned defeated, leaning back on the floor still sitting with his legs crossed. After a couple of rings, Chan picked up the call. He put the call on speakerphone. “Felix? What’s up dude, I thought you and Miyeon were practicing, what’s up?” “You need to come to the Micheal Jackson dance room!” Miyeon said over the owner of the phone's shoulder. “Why did something go wrong?” Chan said and you can hear shuffling on his side of the phone he gets up grabbing some stuff. “Nothings wrong Hyung, they're just being dramatic!” AJ yelled from his spot laying on the floor. “Someone hurt AJ. We’re trying to find out who so we can beat their ass.” Felix said into his phone.

“Really? Why didn’t you start with that! I’m on my fucking way. Should I get Lee Know? I’m gonna get Lee Know.” You hear Chan set his phone on his desk and open his door screaming down the hallway in the dorms. “MINHO! LET'S GO WE GOT A CODE GAY DOWN!” AJ turns to them shocked “You guys have codes for this shit?” Felix looked back at him, “Yes. We are the AJ Protection Squad and we take our job very seriously.” They heard stomping before they could hear Minho’s voice clearly. “A code gay down? Whose ass am I beating? Where’s my child?” “At the Company let’s go.” You hear them both shuffle around before Chan turns to his phone. “We’ll be there in 5.” Chan says before hanging up. “The dorms are 15 minutes away!” AJ said, still confused about everything going on. “As Felix said we in the AJPS take our job very seriously.” Miyeon said looking at her brother, still bothered by the fact that someone made him upset.

AJ decided to no longer ask questions and stared at the ceiling sadly still thinking back to what Changbin had said. Miyeon and Felix just looked at each other and at him knowing that something was wrong and they were determined to get to the bottom of it. In 5 minutes exactly there comes a worried and already angry Chan and Lee Know burst through the door. ‘If they are already pissed before knowing what happened, how will they be after?’ AJ thought, still staring at the ceiling, not moving. Lee Know and Chan move to join the makeshift ‘Family Circle’ before they all turn to AJ. “Alright now what’s wrong and who did it? And no bullshit answers AJ or I swear to god.” Lee Know says. They all looked more calm and worried rather than angry so AJ just decided to tell them, also because they probably would never leave him alone until he told them and it would feel better to talk to them about it.

AJ took a deep breath before sitting up and looking at all of them suddenly feeling shy when he realized that they were all staring at him. “Well, this morning Changbin texted me saying that he wanted to talk and that it was something serious so we agreed to meet at the studio. And I don’t know why but a small part of me was hoping that this was when he’d finally ask me out or something, after all the mixed signals he was giving about whether we were in a relationship or not. But I should’ve known that wouldn’t have happened.” AJ looked down at his lap holding back tears, now that he was saying it all out loud the sadness and rejection is hitting him in waves. “I was gonna tell him the good news after he said what he needed to say but when he said what he did I was no longer in a happy mood. It felt like my whole world shattered-” By the time he got that out he had already started crying letting the tears fall into his lap.

“He had said that he doesn’t think we should be a thing anymore and that we should just stay friends. And that hurt! It hurt so much but I still hadn’t processed how much it hurt until now, all I felt was anger. All I could think of was to ask why. Why did he let me believe that there could ever be something between us? Why did he let me get my hopes up just to crush them? Why had I been stupid enough to believe that he would like me back and wanna be with me? And he spouted some bullshit answer about how he actually did like me but us dating was a risk and that because I wasn’t an idol if our relationship was found I’d get so much more hate and shit. That it could ruin the careers we both worked so hard for. That he didn’t wanna be the reason I couldn’t be an artist or dancer anymore. And that if he got any dating scandals he could possibly ruin Stray Kids' career as well.”

At this point, AJ was ugly sobbing and barely getting his sentences out correctly. Lee Know moved until he was directly behind AJ pulling the younger into his lap and wrapping his arms around him, setting his chin on the crying boy's shoulder. Felix and Chan moved to each side of him, Felix grabbing one of AJ’s hands and Chan setting his arm on his thigh. Miyeon moved to sit in front of her brother holding his other hand. The only thing on all four of their minds was comforting their youngest yet tallest friend and beating the shit out of Changbin later. AJ, although a pain in their ass some days, was their baby, the maknae of the friend group, and the only one who could get Minho to be this soft and cuddly by will. Not even Jisung had that pleasure. Hell even I.N. loved the younger and gave him affection. He was always happy and had something stupid or sassy to say, always there to make them smile on their worst days, and to see him crying aggressively over something one their friends did really pissed them off.

AJ took some shuddery breaths trying to calm down to no avail before speaking again. “All I could think of in the back of my head was that I wasn’t good enough. That I’m still not good enough. That he was just trying to protect my feelings by not telling me that he didn’t like me that way. I'm not an idol so I’m not good enough. That I was stupid to think that just because all my friends got their happy ever after that I could get mine! I’ve tried so hard! I did so many things and it still wasn’t good enough! The amount of panic I’ve gone through during this whole audition process, the way I’ve unhealthily thrown myself into school and practice so I could get a better shot of getting accepted. The stupid strict diet I let that staff member put me on cause they thought it would make me look better. Because I wanted to be better! For him! I wanted to look better, dance better, rap better, be better. All for him. Just to find out my efforts were for nothing. That I’ll never be good enough!”

At this point, AJ was working himself into a panic attack and Felix and Miyeon were thankful they grabbed his hands earlier because they know how bad his attacks can be on himself. They were all shocked none of them knew about the things he said. Miyeon knew about the school and practice thing and would try to pull him away whenever she could but that’s because she was used to him being a workaholic and thought that it was because of the constant auditions, not Changbin. Felix knew about the panic attacks because he’s helped him calm down from a few but none of them knew about the diet. He already has a bad relationship with food so the diet might have made it worse. AJ started falling deeper into panic and Lee Know pulled him closer whispering calming words in the boy he saw as his little brother's ear. They all huddled closer hugging the younger, letting him cry, and doing little things they knew calmed him down.

Eventually, AJ calmed down and his cries turned into small hiccups and tears. He was so thankful they made him talk about this rather than him bottling it up and telling no one until he exploded and had a much worse breakdown. When AJ finally felt calm enough he lifted his head and everyone pulled away. Although he was squeezing Felix and Miyeon’s hands, leaning onto Chan’s shoulder, and refusing to get out of Lee Know’s lap, he was a lot calmer than before. He was very tired from so many emotions and crying. He was half asleep in Lee Know’s lap and leaning on Chan still. There was a long moment of silence before Miyeon spoke up. “You know I’m gonna beat his ass right?” The other 3 hummed in agreement. “Please don’t do that. I know I can’t stop you from talking to him but don’t do anything irrational. That’ll just make it worse.” AJ said in his broken sore and half-sleepy voice. “Can’t make any promises little Bro” Miyeon said, already standing up.

“Just don’t do anything to have to go to jail, I don’t have bail money” AJ said before falling asleep fully. Miyeon leaned down and kissed her brother's forehead whispering, “later we will talk about that diet stuff.” She stood and turned to the other boys “Alright I have a Pig to slaughter and it won’t be the first time. Who’s coming with?” Lee know whipped his head to her, “you’ve done what?” “You heard me” was all she replied. “We all want to come but I don’t think it’s right to leave AJ alone so 2 of us should stay and the other 2 go.” Chan said, looking at AJ sleeping on his shoulder. “Alright, we’ll who’s coming with me?” Miyeon said. “I’ll stay with AJ, I will take him back to the dorms so he can rest and make sure he doesn’t try to do any work when he wakes. I also don’t think I’d be able to stop myself from fighting Changbin.” Chan said. Minho looked at the sleeping curly-haired boy and up at Miyeon. “I’ll go.” Lee Know reluctantly handed over the sleeping boy, putting him in Chan’s lap. “I’ll go to the dorm with Chris and make AJ’s favorite food and dessert.” Felix said from his spot on the ground. Chan handed Lee Know the car keys since they rode together and he and Miyeon would need to get back to the dorms.

“We’ll drive AJ’s car to the dorm since I’m the only one other than Miyeon he lets drive it. And He was Felix and Miyeon’s ride home anyways.” They all nodded before Miyeon and Lee Know left the room storming up to the studios. Felix gathered his and AJs stuff while Chan picked AJ himself up. When they had everything they walked down to the parking lot and looked for AJs car. It wasn’t that hard to find with the obnoxious bright light blue color of it. Felix sat both of their bags on the floor in the backseat and got in on the right side. Chan set AJ on the left so he was leaning on Felix while sleeping. Chan got in the driver's side and started the car checking on the two younger ones in the back before driving off towards the Stray Kids dorm.

Back at the company, Changbin is panicking. He feels so many emotions at once, he feels like an asshole, he’s upset about having to break AJs heart like that and overall he’s scared. He’s terrified because he knows that it’s only a matter of time before Miyeon or someone else shows up to beat his ass. He paces back and forth like earlier when Hyunjin was with him. “Fuck man what am I gonna do? I mean if I leave now there’s a possibility I can start running before they catch me- but where would I go? If I run, they're gonna be expecting me at the dorms and attack me then! I’m better off just staying here-“ As he finished saying that there were loud stomps and banging on the studio door, Changbin was glad he locked the door earlier. “COME OUT CHANGBIN YOU CAN'T STAY IN THERE FOREVER!” While Miyeon was shouting at him through the door, Lee Know looked through the keys Chan gave him and was happy to find a key to the studio amongst them.

He pushed Miyeon slightly over and proceeded to unlock the door. Changbin visually panicked now, it was all happening so fast! He quickly ran to the other side of the couch and sat between it and the wall, knowing damn well his muscled ass was not gonna be able to hide fully back there. The two angry friends stormed in and Lee Know walked over to Changbin not knowing whether to laugh that he thought would work or just stare at him before he grabbed him by his arm and pulled him up to face Miyeon. The rapper looked at the angry sister in fear, the two scariest members of their friend group were currently mad and it was directed at him. Changbin should’ve said bye to his family when he had the chance. He opened his mouth to say something that would spare his life but before he could Miyeon delivered a hefty right hook to his face. ‘Damn that hurt like shit’ Changbin thought, grabbing his cheek. For a 5 foot girl, she sure does pack a punch but that’s to be expected from her seeing as she and AJ got into fights in high school.

Lee Know gawked at how hard she hit him, not that he didn’t deserve it but goddamn he could feel that punch and he was behind Changbin still holding his arm. “You have exactly 5 minutes to explain why you did and said what you did to my brother and if it’s not a good reason I’m gonna punch you again!” Changbin quickly replied with pretty much the same thing he told AJ and Hyunjin, he was honestly terrified and looked everywhere but at her. When he was done Miyeon took a deep breath before punching him again in the face. Poor Changbin is gonna end up with bruises on his cheek and eye. “It’s a good thing we’re on a break right now. If we weren’t idols I’d leave more bruises than she did.” Lee know said smacking Changbin hard on the back of his head.

“Listen I don’t care if you thought you did what was best or anything. You broke my brother. I’ve never seen him cry so hard he sent himself into a panic attack over someone. He loved you. He did everything for you. Originally I was supposed to be the only one auditioning and when I tried to talk him into it I stopped because I knew it would be too much pressure for him. But he did, why? Because he wanted to be closer to you.” Miyeon was raising her voice as she talked, her accent getting stronger, and the fact that the studio is soundproof definitely helped. “Do you know what I found out in the last hour? No? Then let me enlighten you. My brother worked himself into the ground with school, dance, and practice for you. He thinks that he’s not good enough. He let one of the staff members put him on some stupidly strict diet because she said it would help him look better! Why? Because he wanted to look better for you!”

Miyeon looked at him disgusted, “I trusted you with my brother's feelings and you broke him more than anyone had in the past. If you like him so goddamn much why didn’t you just date him! Instead, you lead him on. You’ve been all lovey with him, cuddling with him, taking him on dates just to outright turn him down and make him feel like he’s not good enough for you! Felix and I are dating and there’s no problem! Hell half of JYPE is in a relationship! Why are you the only one who is thinking so hard about your career and not the man right in front of you who would and has done literally anything for you! AJ is perfect and if you can’t see that then I don’t know what the hell to tell you. If this is how you're gonna treat anyone who has any interest in you your whole life. Then have fun being single and friendless because clearly, your career is more important.”

Lee Know moved to stand next to Miyeon, rubbing her shoulder before saying, “We’re giving you one shot to make this better. If you fuck up even more so help me god Seo Changbin, Miyeon and I will not be the thing you need to be afraid of. You’ll have his parents and Chan after you at that point. You better make this up, but at this point, I’d be surprised if he even talks to you again let alone still loves you. If I were him I sure as hell wouldn’t.” Changbin looked at the ground in shock, sadness, and pain because damn those punches hurt. “I will make it better, I really do love him and I hadn’t realized how much pain I’ve put him through. Or how I was only really thinking about myself and my feelings and not his.” Changbin said, nodding. “Good, you have a week, and if he decides he never wants to speak to you again or doesn’t want to be with you. You can’t get mad because you fucked that up for yourself.” Lee Know said, looking at him.

“I know and I take full responsibility. I definitely deserved the punches because I was stupid. And I wouldn’t blame him if he no longer wanted to be with me” Changbin looked up at them. “Not just stupid. You were a dumbass and full-on idiot. Now I’m gonna go back to the dorms and check on my brother. You are not allowed to even look at him until you’ve decided how you’re gonna fix your huge fuck up. Do you understand me?” Miyeon glared at the short rapper. “Yes ma’am” Changbin nodded firmly. “Good now sit and think about your mistakes” was all Miyeon said before storming out of the room to the car. “You really did fuck up and it’s hard to understand whatever stupid logic you thought you had but hopefully you make this right because he seems happiest when he’s with you and that’s all we want for him” Lee Know said looking towards the chair Changbin sat in. “MINHO!” Miyeon yelled down the hall. “That’s my cue to go. Don’t fuck up Seo Changbin” He said before he left the room. And so there Changbin sat left with his thoughts of how much of an idiot he is and how he’s going to fix it.

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I really hope you like it! If you did leave likes and comments! reblogs help as well! If you wanna read more of my shitty works you can follow me on AO3 @/penissirius ! If you’d like to see more of AJ and Miyeon and their Interesting Adventures in life in Korea and Becoming JYP trainees well you’re just in luck because the whole story of them is being written and made. Tho I will not post it until I have the whole thing finished which will be a while but I have a few chapters now! So be on the lookout for that! I will be posting a Social Media AU that is completely unrelated to that story so let me know if you wanna be on the tag list for it! Byeeeeee~

#stray kids x male oc #stinky stinky fic #stray kids #x male reader #changbin x male reader #changbin #i tried my hardest #stray kids x male #kpop idol #stray kids x male reader #seo changbin x male reader #kpop x male reader #idol x male reader #pls dont steal #penissirius.req

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zenlesszonezero · 7 days ago

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You feelin' fired up now? Make way for the undefeated Champion! Welcome to New Eridu!— PS5™/iOS/Android/PC | Version 1.3 "Virtual Revenge" of Zenless Zone Zero, HoYoverse's urban fantasy ARPG, is out now

#zzzero #zenless zone zero #lighter #gaming #anime gaming

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oftenderweapons · 4 years ago

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Love talk - Yoongi

Pairing: Yoongi x reader (nicknamed Kitten)

Wordcount: 10k words

Genre: fluff, smut

Rating: 18+

Hello bunnies! I know you’ve been streaming Dynamite (I’m doing so as I revise and edit). I decided to postpone publishing the piece, so that we can focus on streaming and then as soon as the 24h are over and you’re well-rested you’re hopefully all ready for this 😏

Basically, I’ll do a quick recap of Yoongi and Kitten’s sliver of backstory. They’ve been dating for a couple months on again off again (he’s quite busy with schedule) and have been on several dates, however the situation escalates when the two start playing a steamy late-night after-date 20 questions game.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Consumption of alcohol. Swearing. This is smutty, especially in the end. This is intended for an adult public. Some of the themes are only discussed by the characters. Strong language, alcohol consumption, masturbation both male and female receiving, same for oral (feat. face riding). Mild voyeurism/exhibitionism, quite detailed description of sexual positions and fantasies, discussion on STDs, mentions of previous relationships and past traumas (abusive boyfriend and one very sorry fuck). Choking, breast worship, mentions of restrictions, sensation play and switch Yoongi. This should be all. Also, watch Kitten thirst for Yoongi’s hands (and tongue. and lips. and all the rest of Yoongi) for 10k words. (On a second note, watch Yoongi drool -- only metaphorically, much to his dismay -- over Kitten’s tits).

Yeah, it’s date 10 and these two haven’t kissed yet, I somehow think that Yoongi is the kind of guy who would wait till he’s dying and then just pounce. Also these two just want to jump each other’s bones and I can’t wait for you to see them in Illicit Affairs (definitely my 2nd favourite couple -- ‘cause Joon will be A Lot™)

Wordcount is around 10k.

Since I need to start planning next scenarios, I need you to help me choose the theme, you can vote at the link in my bio!

Here is my masterlist, enjoy 💜

“God, what’s with the weather tonight?”

“Man, this is a nightmare, get in quick.” The arm around your shoulder loosened a little as he let you move quickly from under his umbrella to the passenger seat of his car. As you got comfortable and tried to fix your hair and makeup a little, he walked around the car, opening the driver’s door, sliding in quickly and, with a sleight of hand, shaking the umbrella, closing it and smashing the door shut as fast as possible.

“Damn it.” He moved the soaked object at the foot of the backseat, stretching in the process with a groan.

You set with your hands pressed together, shoved innocently between your thighs.

This was your tenth date with Yoongi and you were smitten over him. Also, horny, but that’s for another moment. You’d been dating without commitment for about two months, the timing absolutely awful – he was in the middle of promotion with the group – but he had been too hung up on you to wait. He had wanted to do things properly, but after two weeks of stalking your profiles on social networks and making a fool of himself anytime you accidentally met, he decided he needed to act, and quickly so.

You went for a coffee once, then he brought you lunch, then you started with your sneaky dates at the cinema, walks at Han river late at night and dark and discreet bars dominating the rooftops of Seoul.

But the cinema was your most recurrent. You were just back from one of your dates at your go-to theatre, at two a.m, the late night show allowing him enough privacy to sneak around and protect you from any prying eyes.

He started the car and asked if you needed the AC on. “You have goosebumps on your arms.” He commented.

He is attentive. And caring. Which really makes you want to jump him. But again, digressing.

“No, thank you, Yoongi.” You replied kindly.

“Okay.” Moving out of the parking lot he started driving to your house, stopping at a couple traffic lights, looking at you as he waited. You looked back at him, smiling affectionately. He took your hand, holding it and warming it up in between his.

“Who would believe it’s September, it feels at least November out there.” You commented, feeling extremely dumb in discussing the weather, but too afraid of letting your mind delve in more mature or appropriate topics.

“Sure you’re okay?” He asked, as he placed your hand back, the lights turning green.

“Yeah.” You risked evaporation, looking at his focused expression as he drove. Could you believe he hadn’t kissed you yet? No. Could you imagine why he hadn’t done that yet? Hell, no. You had squeezed your brains trying to imagine why he hadn’t kissed you while at the same time keeping on asking you out, date after date.

The night lights reflected beautifully on his delicate features, on his cute nose and his round and soft cheekbones, on his pouty, blatantly soft, deliriously pink, wildly wanted lips, on his flashy silver watch, on his sparkly, delicate necklace, on his small and sober earrings. You wanted him. Your heart skipped a beat at the way your body and mind aligned in that statement. The pressure you felt within you was a living, beating, ravenous thing, enlarging its size like a bird puffing its feathers.

His hands on the wheel were extraordinarily pale and sturdy, skeletrical but also undoubtedly strong. You wanted them on you, grabbing and groping your flesh. And the way he seemed to chew on his lower lip, opening and closing his mouth in that gesture which is so his, as if he were tasting wine or coffee.

You didn’t even realise you had arrived at your place, since you were so caught in staring at him. “A picture will last longer, Kitten.” He teased.

You blushed, turning quickly to look out your window.

“Oh, you’re shy now...” He smirked. “Go figure, I had a proposition for you.” He commented, almost with disinterest, his mouth speaking through a fake pout, the corners of it turned downward.

“I’m curious.” You said, turning to him.

“I don’t wanna let go of you yet.” He admitted, catching your hand again. “I’ll be away for ten days. With the guys. We’re leaving tomorrow evening.” He explained. “Tonight is my last available moment with you and I know it’s two in the morning and all the rest, but I want to spend more time with you.”

You raised your eyebrows, surprised. “Do you mean…?” You hoped he had somehow sensed your longing. He seemed to have a direct line to your brain, reading you in a way that scared you too often.

He grinned. “I mean, whatever comes from this. Just talking. Just watching you as we talk. It’s not the same over the phone.” He said with a frown.

You nodded. “Do you wanna talk here? Would you like to come upstairs?” You asked, trying to feel the mood.

He bit his lip and laced his fingers together, placing them between his knees and hunching his back. “You see, I kinda wanted to take this to my place. But I promise you I won’t make a move. It’s really just talking.”

Please, do make a move. You silently begged – although you were too shy to actually speak.

“Yeah, nice. Okay.” You replied with a happy smile.

“It’s okay if you want to stay here. Or go upstairs. It’s just that I really wanted to see you at home.”

The tenderness of his domesticity killed that hunger rumbling in your insides and made your head float up high, with cute pink clouds and angels singing and stars glimmering.

This is a crush.

“Show me your crib, kitty cat.” You joked. He laughed adorably at that. He looked radiant.

As he started driving to his place you got back to your thirsting over him, this time openly oogling at his confident charm, at the way he looked so used to all of this. The way he lead you out of the car in the underground parking lot of the residence, the way he locked the car and punched in his passcode to the apartment.

“Here’s the crib, kitty cat.” He taunted right back.

The place looked immaculate. Spot on. Tidy. Neat. A bit cold but his. And it smelled so good. Like cinnamon and fir. Like a cosy, winter cabin. You wanted a blanket and a hot chocolate and a Christmas tree. You wanted him in an ugly turtleneck jumper and flannel sweats and furry slippers.

You wanted home.

“It feels very nice in here, Yoongi.” You couldn’t stop looking around, drinking in every small detail. You understood why he had wanted you here. He wanted to see if you could fit here.

He noticed you did.

“I got these, for you.” He said, offering you a pair of slippers, gesturing for you to take off your shoes as he did the same. He didn’t need to ask twice.

He led you through a quick tour of the house, moving quickly away from his most private places – the bedroom and the studio. You understood his reserve on those, giving his hand a quick squeeze in understanding.

“Finally, the living room.” He explained as he switched on the lights illuminating a large space with a thick cream carpet covering the cold white marble, the room completely dominated by a black leather couch. It looked very traditional and “grandpa”. It really resembled him. “Might as well settle in, we’re gonna be here for a while. Want to drink something?” He asked.

You. “What do you have in mind?” You asked, shutting up your inner slut.

“Well, I was thinking I wanted to do that ‘get-to-know-each-other’ kind of thing.” He said, opening a cabinet in the console under the gigantic tv. In the meantime ha started a slow rap playlist from his phone. “I know this will sound like usual fuckboy who’s trying to make a move, but I have no intention of getting you drunk. I’ll drink, and I promise I’ll be perfectly responsible for my actions, but you don’t have to drink or do anything you don’t want to.” He said, putting some whisky on the coffee table together with two tumblers.

However, you opened the bottle and poured some alcohol first in his glass and then in yours. “Now it’s me the one with a proposition, mr. Min.” You cocked your head playfully. “We play twenty questions. In turns we will ask twenty questions to each other. If you don’t want to answer you pass and drink.” You explained quickly.

“Okay. Let’s get it, Kitten.” He said with a smirk, as both of you sat down at the two sides of the L-shaped sofa, near the corner. “You start, ____.”

“Warm up round, yeah?” You asked.

“Play your advantage carefully.” He suggested.

You nodded, quickly leaving aside dumb and obvious questions, but still going for an innocent one. “How many exes do you have?”

“Okay, nice. Well. I’ve “officially” had three girlfriends and two flings. All the relationships ended because of my job and lifestyle.” He offered you a free piece of information. He didn’t mind anyway. “My turn?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m satisfied.” You replied. “For now.”

He grinned devilishly. “What about your exes?”

You nodded as if expecting the question. “Officially one. It was a long, painful relationship. I’ve had flings though. Maybe eight or nine occasional partners.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Okay. I really didn’t expect that but it’s cool to me.” He said. He really didn’t mind. You’re a woman in her midtwenties, and you have the freedom to do what you want with your body. “Next.”

You looked down and toyed with your fingers, then looked up with a curious smile and gleaming mischief in your eyes. “I’ve gotta ask. When was your first time?”

He smiled. “I was nineteen. I had been dating this girl for a few months. We did it on my birthday. She was two years older than me, showed me the ropes. But even if I really liked her, it all got to hell when we debuted. She was only in it for the fact that I was an idol, she wanted an in, I think. Changed her mind when she realised I was sort of a loser.”

“Well, look at that loser now.” You said, looking him up and down and licking your lip.

He laughed embarrassed.

“I won’t do that mistake.” You promised, this time with a serious expression.

“We’ll see.” He commented, looking you up and down himself. God, he was getting flirty. A pleasured shiver ran down your spine. It wasn’t the cold. “My turn. When did you do it for the first time?”

Again you nodded. “I was with a childhood friend. It wasn’t a relationship. Just, we thought it was a good idea to do that together, because we knew each other and we trusted each other. It was nice. It felt nice. It was the summer after our senior year in high school. He moved out for university afterwards and we lost each other. But it’s a good memory, I must say.” You reminisced fondly. “No unrequited feelings, though.” You clarified, afraid that he would misunderstand.

“Okay. I’m glad it’s a good memory. I was afraid that the painful ex had been your first.” He commented, leaning towards you slightly.

“No, thank fuck.” You muttered. “Let’s move on, yeah?”

He nodded.

“I kinda have to ask this one, out of curiosity and for personal reasons. Have you ever been tested for STDs?”

He blinked and crossed his legs. “I have. It’s part of my medical check-ins. Of course the tests are more for... completeness, so to say, rather than actual need. My sex life is not that active, and when it is, I always use protection. I’m quite obsessed with it, to be honest.” He explained, his defensive stance opening up. He answered thoroughly, not even thinking of how much he was offering freely. “Do you mind me asking the same question?”

“Not at all. I also got tested. After my relationship I had to. My ex wasn’t very faithful.” You replied, blushing. “During all my flings I’ve always used protection except once. I was a bit dumb back then.” You admitted, wincing painfully. “And after my last one I got tested. He didn’t make me feel like a condom was safe enough. Thank God, everything is absolutely fine and I’m clean.”

“Oh, yeah, same here.” He offered back, with a shy laugh. “Ready for question three?”

“Yeah. I’ve got to ask one last question, for my peace of mind. Do you expect monogamy from me?” You asked.

“Do you?” He deflected.

You smiled “I asked you, Yoongi. Do you want me to date you exclusively?”

“Well I do. Do you? Want to date just me? I mean.” He asked.

“Yes, I will date you exclusively if you’re dating me exclusively.” You replied, matter-of-factly.

He shook his head, incredulous. “Of course I’m dating only you.” He murmured with a pout. “Why would I be seeing someone else?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged.

“Well, I’m strictly monogamous, ____. I’m giving you my undivided attention and all my spare time. Don’t you ever doubt my commitment. I don’t cheat.” He seemed almost too serious for a moment.

“I needed to know.”

“It’s okay. But just because you got burned once, that doesn’t mean that everyone wants to burn you, okay? That’s a bastard’s move. I promise you I won’t.” He said. And for the first time you felt like believing in it.

You took a deep breath, then smiled. “Well, anyway, you already asked your question. So it’s my turn again.” You said, cheekily.

He huffed, offended, but let you go on.

“Time to start drinking, Yoongles.” You chanted in a sing-song voice.

He laughed silently. “We’ll see.”

“What’s your favourite position in bed?” You asked, trying to peek into his private life.

“Should I drink? At this? You have to seriously one-up your game, kitten.” He stared at you intently. He was desperately trying to keep a poker face to hide how much he wanted to climb over your body and hide in the crook of your neck, inhale your sweet scent, which was enhanced by the rain that had hit you earlier.

“I’m quite traditional. I like anything that allows me to see the face of my partner. So missionary, cowgirl and lotus. When I’m a bit angsty I go for doggy. Spoons is another one I like – and also an awfully underrated one. My past lovers all said that the angle is amazing. It’s very rewarding.” Again, he gave you more than what you asked for. He wanted you to know these random things about him. He was telling you everything he wanted you to know. Who cares about vulnerability and offering too much? His aim was to earn your trust. And for you to repay his prodigality in kind. He wanted you to open up and overshare things about yourself. He wanted to know what to imagine when he thought about kissing you. When he thought of you while touching himself. He wanted to understand what he could ask, what you could possibly like, what scared you, what you needed comfort in.

At this point you were imagining him behind you, a hand at your waist, the other on your breast, his low moans caressing your ear, eyes closed, lost in bliss. Snap out of it, slut. “Wide choice.” You commented with an awkward chuckle, still trying to get back from your fantasy.

“It really depends on my partner, though. Whatever works for them.” He shrugged, his arms leaning forward, palms up. “My turn, right?” He waited for your confirmation.

“Off you go.”

“What’s your most frequent fantasy?” He muttered, shy but also sultry, his voice a low rumble.

You inhaled deeply, noticing how close he had got to what you were thinking a few seconds ago. “Dammit, I might drink.” You looked at the glass, almost lunging for it. But it was a feint. ”Actually lately I’ve been thinking a lot about having sex in the kitchen.”

Fuck. He was out. He licked his lip. He almost thought you were done with your confession, but you went on.

“Being pushed up against the counter and bent over. Or being lifted up and sat on the counter. Having someone tease me while I’m spread on the table. Or having to keep a straight face while someone is toying with me underneath the table.” You scratched your cheek, “You pick.” You whispered slightly embarrassed, laying your hands on your cheekbones in an attempt to calm down your blush.

He lifted the glass. He needed to calm down.

When you noticed his gesture you sucked your lips in, trying to hide a smug grin.

“Are you proud of getting under my skin, Kitten?” He asked.

“Yes, of course.” You replied immediately.

“Well done, ____.” The way he almost moaned your name made your blood soar to your ear. “Your turn, kitty.”

“Are you more on the dominant or submissive side?” You asked. You honestly couldn’t figure this out. He showed small signs leaning towards both sides. He was traditionally courteous, giving you attention and taking care of you, paying for food and using his body language to show you were taken, that you weren’t hanging out with a friend or a relative, but a possible love interest. At the same time, he never initiated openly intimate contact, rather he waited for you to initiate. And he had never kissed you, nor shown any interest in doing so.

“I’m leaning dom. But it’s a slight preference. It has a lot to do with my partner’s preferences. I’ve both dommed and subbed in the past. I like the protective, possessive side of domming, but I also like the receiving, caring side of subbing. Still I enjoy the control that comes from being more dominant. I would say it’s 65 to 35 for domming.”

You nodded. That sounded good. “That’s nice. I’m also a bit in the middle. Leaning sub, though.” It felt natural replying. It felt like he should know.

“Thank you for giving that up.” He smiled, warming up to you, trying to associate a positive outcome to your sharing personal information about yourself. “Now, about my question.” He fumbled a bit in his head, trying to go for something intimate, but not openly sexual. “Okay, if you could kiss any part of your significant other but their face, what would it be?”

You smiled at the cute question. Because you honestly didn’t think of the sexual side of it. “Well, you said no face. Let me think... I think I really like giving hand kisses. They’re old school, but also so meaningful. They’re apparently platonic and innocent, but they have that side of worship and adoration that just makes me weak.” You hugged yourself, growing smitten at the thought.

He cocked his head to the side, looking at you with a curious and endeared expression.

“I also like kissing on the chest, like the breastbone, like the very center of the chest. Another not openly sexual spot, but I think it’s so tender. There’s the heart there, so it’s an especially fond spot. It sort of implies that the other person is hugging you, and that you’re laying your head on their chest.” You gushed, turning absolutely tender at the thought.

“What about the face?” He asked. He wanted your hand kisses. He wanted his fingers in your mouth, but that was not the point of the question at all and you were there smitten and cute and he should stop sexualising your cuteness outburst.

“Isn’t that another question?” You smirked, brow creasing.

“I should have asked for ‘anywhere but mouth’. Dumb me.” He huffed out and sulked.

“Then, forehead kisses. Underrated. Affectionate. Platonic but so tender. They go to a whole other level of intimacy.” You murmured, anything to stop his sulking, which was making your heart twist in your chest.

He grinned “Thank you.” He said, sinking his head between his shoulders.

“Well, pay up for it with question six. Thoughts on being vocal during sexy time?” You asked.

“Yes.” He didn’t hesitate one second. “Tendentially I’m not very verbal, and I try to keep it quiet. After such a long time with roommates, that’s kind of ingrained in me. Since I moved out, I kinda got more vocal, still not very verbal, but don’t expect pornographic feats.” He laughed, trying to relax the mood. “For my partner, any sound is a nice sound, as long as it’s not fake porn screaming. Subtle moaning and heavy breathing get me going quickly. Sensitive ears and stuff.” He scratched his neck. He was getting worked up again. Deep breath, boy. He scolded himself. “Anything else?”

You shook your head. “I’m good, thanks. Come on, shoot it.”

“It’s my number six?”

“Yes, champ. Go get it.” You teased cheekily.

He took in a big breath, licking his lips.

God, any more lip game and you’d throw yourself at him.

“Quick reminder: you have your drink there, just in case.” He offered. “Have you ever had a sex dream?”

Yes, about you and your dirty mouth and naughty hands. Wait, do dirty daydreams count?

He misunderstood your pause for a sign of reluctance. “Your drink is there, ____, waiting for you.” He reminded you.

You took your glass.

He nodded with little movements of his head, his expression neutral. That’s how much is too much, he though.

“I’ve dreamt of a classmate performing oral on me, once during that relationship I mentioned.” You admitted after taking a sip. Indeed, liquid courage. “I felt awful when I woke up. But it was an epiphany of sorts. It really made me understand how fucked up it all was. I don’t usually have those dreams.” You admitted. “Although I have dreamt random stuff about being naked and sexual feelings related to non-sexual contexts. Like once I dreamt I was canoeing on a rough river and I had this complicated torso bondage thing going on.” You laughed awkwardly.

Breast bondage. He was salivating. Maybe he was overthinking it but his mind had reserved a special spot for your breasts and maybe you didn’t even like nipple play that much and he was just making it up in his head. He closed his eyes to avoid checking your chest. He knew it would kill him. He was already dealing with a semi, elbows propped on his knees to hide it, hoping that the angle and the dim lights would help him. In a part of his brain he started building a folder about your previous relationship, saving there all the useful information. He sort of assumed, because of the dream you had recollected, that oral was some sort of hot topic during that time.

“Thank you, Kitten. I was afraid I had gone too far.”

“It’s okay. It’s just… I do wanna open up to you, but there’s hurtful stuff in the process.” You admitted. “I’m a bit fucked up.”

“We all are, sweetheart.” He reassured you, wanting nothing but to hold your hand, bring it to his heart, to his face, to his lips.

“My turn!” You smiled excitedly. “Sleeping habits: pjs, underwear or naked?”

“My sleeping habits or my preferences for my significant other?” He asked, trying to understand the answer you expected.

“Well, since you asked, both? For the kisses question earlier.” You reminded him.

“Nice, okay. I often sleep in pjs, especially when it gets colder. Naked feels nice too, I guess. Usually in the summer. When I’m on vacation.” He thought about the other one. How would he want you to sleep next to him? “I think I like my partner in very loose clothing. Oversized t-shirt and panties.” No bra, of course. He wants his hands to move there freely. “Naked sounds nice, but I don’t expect it. Some people feel vulnerable like that. My ex did.” He explained.

You understood, people are different, et cetera, but at the same time you asked yourself who wouldn’t want to sleep naked next to him. Feel him waking up, his warm skin enveloping you, his hands and mouth having free access to anything he craved, being completely laid bare for his whims and wants.

He noticed you were distracted and asked you his question right away.

When you noticed him staring you moved your head forward, waiting for him to speak.

“I’ve already asked, but maybe you were distracted, Kitten. How would you rate your sex drive from one to ten?” He asked. “To understand your needs, you see.”

You settled back against the back of the sofa, smiling and thinking. “I’d say around seven? Maybe eight? Like, usually I fool around about two or three times a week. Maybe four if I’m feeling very spoiled and needy.” You explained, fumbling around with the words. Yeah, you have toys and use them. Yeah, you masturbate and have an healthy sex life. Getting laid helps you deal with stress and mood swings, and endorphins help you keep your mood up, what’s wrong with that?

“Reasonable.” He didn’t comment on your fooling around. He might as well try to figure that out with the next question.

“What about you?” You asked.

“Is that your question, Kitten?” He waited for your confirmation. At your lively nod, he smiled. “I think I’m also around seven. As you said, I fool around about three to four times a week, when I’m quite relaxed. Sometimes I might get too tired and just avoid it entirely. Sometimes I’m tired but nervous and just do it more often but take shorter sessions. My question now.” He wanted to speed things up a little. It was around three now and he was afraid you wanted to bail on him.

“Go.” You said, already expecting this one to be bad.

“Do you use any sex toys?”

You laughed. “Yes. I do.”

“That’s it?” He asked, impatient to know more.

“When did this conversation become so explicit?” You asked.

“It was you who started it. But since I’m interested in knowing what you like and what you need, I realised I could use it to my advantage. I want to build intimacy with you before I start actually messing with you. I want our first time to feel right. I want to be able to laugh it out, were things to get messy. I want to know how to make you lose your mind beforehand.”

“If you say so…” You smiled suspicious but also curious. “I have a vibrator. A simple, practical one. Very old school, a bullet number. I also have a double density dildo. Expensive ordeal, but most definitely worth the money. And nipple suction cups. They’re still new. It’s a gift from myself I did a few months ago after a tough time at work.”

Fuck, he wanted to shove his head in a frozen lake. Could you? For real? He dragged his hands down his face.

“I wish I could see what’s going on in your head right now.” You wondered, faking aloofness. You were most likely ready to spread yourself on the coffee table and ask him to feast on you. “Now, about my question.” You followed your intuition. “What’s the body part that turns you on the most?”

He took a sip.

Don’t leave me hanging, Yoongi, please. “I like eye contact. Makes me understand the mood of my partner. It really turns me on when my partner maintains eye contact during sex. And I’m a breasts man. A hopeless one at that.” Again he shrugged in an “I can’t help it” kind of way.

You laid your head back against the sofa, looking at him with a knowing glance from under your lashes. “Interesting.” How long would it take to convince him to rip your shirt, slip the cups of your bra under your tits and suck your nipples until you orgasmed a couple times and fell asleep?

He took another sip. He was blushing. You liked your nipples sucked. And he liked sucking them. How convenient. “What’s a blatantly nonsexual thing that turns you on?” He asked, putting down the glass.

You did consider drinking. Could you handle him knowing such a sensitive piece of information? To hell with reason. “If you cup my face I’ll go smitten. Pair that up with a term of endearment or a little praise and I’m ready to drop to my knees.” You admitted.

“Praise kink?” He asked.

“No. I just get soft when someone cups my cheek. It makes me want to please them.” You admit.

“You know I’ll use this against you the moment you allow me to, right?” He states openly.

“Yes. I don’t mind.”

“Ask your question. It’s number ten baby.” He looked at his watch. “It’s late. Tell me when you want to go. I’ll understand.”

“I want to keep going.” You said. In more ways than one. “What’s something you want to try in bed?”

He stared off in the distance. “Oh. Let me think.” He started bouncing his leg. “Specifically in bed?”

“Yes.”

“I’m pretty sensitive. Maybe I would try something with blindfolds and restraints and sensation play? Like a feather or silk or something along that line.” He blushed and his his eyes in his hands.

“That sounds interesting. You want to try that on someone else or on yourself?” You asked for clarification.

“Myself. But I’m not opposed to doing that to someone else. Okay, let’s go on, I’m suffering here.” Inhale. Exhale. “Do you want to take it down a notch or keep going?”

“Keep going.” You murmured, afraid of what would come next, but also excited.

“Kitten, what makes you wet in seconds?” He whispered.

“You want to use this against me too?” You suspected.

“Only in your best interests.”

“Do you mean sexual things that turn me on innocent ones?” You pushed your head behind your ear.

“Do your thing, kitten.”

“On a more innocent level, I’m really sensitive to voices. I must say that yours unsettles me a little.” You confessed on a small note, with a tiny voice. “On a sexual level, I’m a mess for anything around my chest and neck. It makes me weak at the knees, it really drives me wild.”

“Touching, kissing, biting, sucking, licking…?” He suggested, fixing his posture.

“Yes to all.” You whispered, stretching to get the glass.

“Yeah.” He took a sip himself.

You gulped and put down the tumbler. “Do you ever willingly deepen your voice?”

“Yes. I did it for you, when we met. I saw you shiver when I did it accidentally, the first time we met at the office. So I did it again. I wanted you to notice me, I wanted to get you flustered.” He admitted shyly.

You sucked you lip. “You did. I was squeezing my legs so bad. You know when you stood up and said goodbye?”

“You were holding the edge of the table.” He remembered, nodding.

“My knees were wobbly. I don’t think my legs could hold me up.” You confessed, shaking your head timidly.

“Poor Kitten.” He said, hiding his mouth behind his hand. “Can I ask you a tricky question, sweetheart?”

As you nodded he huffed out a question, scared to ask. “Oral: giving or receiving.”

“Giving. Receiving is a difficult matter. My ex didn’t really… enjoy that.” You spoke vaguely.

He did a double take. “He didn’t eat you out?”

You shook your head gingerly.

“He was shit.” He muttered, pouring himself another shot. You were eleven questions in and he’d drunk only sips. And it was not because he didn’t answer but rather because he needed to calm his nerves before he jumped you.

“I guess so.” You giggled embarrassedly.

“Never?” he asked again, shocked. “Never in 3 years?”

“Never.” You confirmed. “He said the taste made him gross.”

“Gross… And he wanted you to suck him, quite obviously.”

“I didn’t mind. I like the view”. You admitted with a playful gleam in your eyes.

He saved that for later, but at the moment he was too busy handling the matter of your ex. “Fucker.” He replied and took a sip. “But are you opposed to it?” Yoongi asked, curious and honestly worried. He would give anything to convince you to let him change your mind.

You blushed. “I’ve done it a couple times with a few flings, but just like you and noise-making, my mind is kind of set on giving rather than receiving. Still, I think I could give it a try.” You announced.

“I’m glad you’re not letting that fucker take that from you.” He admitted, keeping the glass in his hand and holding onto it like it were his sanity.

“If I’m being honest, after that time we went to the park– you remember the ice cream right?”

Yeah, he remembered. Most importantly he remembered the huge boner he’d got as he watched you eating it, his body losing it like a teenager. He nodded.

“I think I’ve started to think about… Your head. There.” You were getting loose-lipped.

You were going to make him sin. He swore under his breath, downing the shot. Again you laughed, enjoying how you were affecting him. “Gonna show you how good it is.” He teased.

“Hope you’ll show me many, many things.” You joked cheekily.

“Trust me, I’m keeping a list, sweetheart.” And the final smirk made you want to rip your own panties and offer yourself to his pink, wet tongue. “Are you okay, Kitten?” He asked, reaching for your knee.

If he touches me, I’ll fucking explode. And there was his hand. On your knee. “Have you ever had sexual fantasies about a man?” The words left your mouth quickly.

He let his fingertips caress your clothed skin. He wished you were wearing a skirt. “I consider myself attracted to people regardless of their gender identity. I had a very brief fling with a man once, but nothing truly ever happened. We just kissed a couple times, but we weren’t right for each other, emotionally. He was too reserved for me. And he was incredibly untrusting.”

“So trust is the dealbraker? Trust?” You asked, immediately interested in something that had changed his relationship so dramatically.

He didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

“Okay. I understand.”

“Moving on. What are your thoughts on the last time you had sex?” He kept spurring you on, going deeper and deeper under your skin, getting closer and closer to your soul, trying to discover the very heart of you, and most importantly if he had any chance to settle there.

“Oh God.” You laughed. “It was almost eight months ago. It was traumatic.” Again you laughed.

“Is that an exasperated laugh?” He asked, worried but also interested in your ironic reaction.

“I’m laughing to hold back tears. Last time I had sex, the dude had a dick too big for his own good and didn’t know how to use it. I definitely faked the second one because he kept poking me with his fingers. I asked to change positions so I could touch myself and cum. It was awful.” You laughed some more. “When I went back home I just had to take care of myself.”

“Promise you won’t fake with me.” He almost begged. “Promise me you won’t go home and take care of yourself.”

“I can promise you the first.” You bit your lip. And drank. Don’t ask me the second, please don’t. Please.

“I’ll need the other one too, you know.” He said, pressing you in the matter.

You have no idea, Yoongi. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” He murmured, frowning.

Because I did that so many times already coming home from dates with you, every time silently begging you to kiss me, to touch me, to ruin me. “I’ll try to from now on.”

“I’m sorry if I sent you home frustrated before. But I honestly needed to take my time.” He shoved his hands in his hair, combing it back. “I tend to rush. Once I let go.” He confessed exhaling loudly. He looked at you with a lustful glance. “But I promise I’ll take care of you. Completely.” He was getting flirtier.

“Quickies or long session?”

“Is that your question, kitten? Are you sure?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Answer me, Yoongi.” You laid back, opening your legs just lightly. Anything to lessen the discomfort lodged in your crotch.

He looked amused. “I can do both. But long sessions for the win. The devil’s in the details and the sex is in the foreplay.” He also leaned back and parted his legs, mirroring you perfectly. “What’s the best sex you’ve ever had?”

“A guy I was dating on-again-off-again, before I met my ex. I was twenty. I let him go because I was starting to fall for my ex. He showed me half the stuff I like. The other half I picked up myself.”

He wanted to know more. He wanted to know what you liked, what he owed some horny teenager and what you had discovered yourself. How you had discovered it. Most importantly, he wanted to excel in everything you liked. He wanted to please you again and again, till you were drunk in bliss and his taste, your skin glistening in a gross and divine mixture of his sweat and drool and your own perspiration. He wanted messy and loud and obliterating.

He wanted…

“Have you ever touched yourself while thinking of me?” You asked, bold, spitting the question out of your tongue like ripping off a band aid.

He threw his head back, groaning in something that looked like pain. It wasn’t arousal. You were quite sure.

He was burgundy with shame and effort. He grabbed the glass and downed the alcohol in one go. “Yes.”

You rolled your neck and exhaled, moaning.

“Almost every day.” He went on. “I can’t get you out of my head and I need it to stop for just. One. Second.”

You gulped, then took a big breath through you mouth. “I have too. Thought of you, that is.”

“I assumed so.” He whispered. “I’ve thought of things I’m not proud of, Kitten. I’m a grown, respectful man, but you’ve made such a sorry mess of me.”

“I am so sorry, Yoongi.” No, you’re not.

“You’re truly sadistic, aren’t you?” He asks.

“Is that your question?”

“No.” He pauses. “What’s your favourite body part on yourself and on me?”

Your heartbeat felt like a joke. You closed your legs. No need to try and play it cool. You were drenched, and you were afraid that by now it was actually starting to show. “I think I like my hands? Or maybe… I don’t really know. I think my hands are nice.”

“They are beautiful, ____, really.” So were your tits, but it didn’t feel quite right to point that out in that precise moments.

“Thank you.” You took a long break, biting your lip before going on with your answer. “On you... I’ve been thinking about those hands a lot”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” You deadpanned. The background music shifted to something sultry and so slow you felt like desire was spiraling in your loins with that cool, rich drawl.

“What about them?” He continued.

You took a sip of your drink, looking at him from under your lashes. “Around my throat.”

Yoongi sat back, undoing one button of his shirt. “Keep going.”

“One around my throat, the other in my hair as you kiss me, drawing me in. Keeping me still.”

“Keep going.” He said, closing his eyes and rolling his shoulders.

“Maybe I’ve been thinking of your hand on my chest. Your fingers pinching my nipples.”

“God bless you, Kitten. What else did my naughty hands do in those dreams of yours.”

Your voice got breathy and shy. “Maybe… Just maybe they got between my legs.”

“And how did that make you feel.” He was going to lose it.

“Horny.”

His heavy breathing stopped for a second. “Did you touch yourself?” His eyes opened to look at your reaction.

You nodded slowly, trying to get some saliva in your awfully dry mouth. The whisky helped. “I needed it.”

“Good girl.” He praised your honesty, again trying to work on that association between your openness and a positive outcome. He thought it was over. Your confession.

“But to be honest what really made me cum was thinking of your pretty pout on my breasts, licking my tits and biting into the soft skin there.”

He growled, pushing the balls of his hands against his eyes. “Kitten, I think I just came in my pants.”

You laughed wildly at his honesty, rolling your head back and teasing him, showing the expanse of your neck and chest.

“Cruel, ain’t you?”

“I’m also sweet.”

“I don’t care, I’ll lick you up anyway.” He teased downing his glass. His second.

You both did a refill. You were tipsy and his eyes had a gleam that wasn’t there at the beginning of the evening.

“You won’t be able to drive me home.” You murmured.

“Do you really want me to?” He asked.

“No.” You answered.

“Remember, I promised not to fuck you tonight, Kitten.” He reminded you.

“Not even foreplay?” You pouted. “Not even making out? A small peck on the lips?”

“I’m hungry for you. That shit just ain’t it.” He growled. You knew he had deepened his voice for you.

You crossed your legs. “Do you like massage?”

“What number is that?” He asked, referring to how many questions you’ve gone through.

“Fifteen. Do you?” You pressed him, trying to get him to talk.

“I mentioned being sensitive. I do like that when I’m in a stressed mood. I like it after a warm bath, with warm lotion or massage oil. It really makes me weak. An ex introduced me to it and I think I got a bit addicted to it, whenever I feel like I need to be taken care of.”

“It sounds nice.” It felt like a nice pause from the kinkfest that had been going on until five minutes ago.

“Have you ever cried while you were in bed with someone?” He asked, his voice delicate as he reached for another intimate, although innocent side of you.

“The first time I hooked up after my ex. It was so liberating I cried. The guy beside me freaked out a little, but he understood. He was kind, just very emotionally dumb, I suppose.”

“I’m sorry for that. It sounds like he scarred you so much.” Yoongi commented, his boiling desire subduing at your vulnerable, tender side. A silly, egotistic part of him wanted to heal you. Try as hard as he might.

“It’s cool.” Your mouth quirked to the side. “Let’s move on to brighter themes, yeah? What’s your favourite thing to do, sexually speaking?”

He looked at you with doubt in his eyes. You knew the past scars conversation wasn’t over. Still, he smiled bright and replied. “I want to suck your nipples. Bite your soft, round tits, leave hickies all over them.” He leaned over, feeling bold as he let his hand catch yours. He scooted closer to you, his voice so deep he sounded like Hades, god of the Underworld. “That’s one of my favourite things in bed. And not just there, honestly.”

Could a person die from arousal? Because you felt your heart burst at that moment, explode like a match and light up your bonfire body. “Yoongi.” You murmured as he let the back of his fingers travel along the outer side of your thigh in a phantom touch.

“You wanna know what else I really, really like doing in bed? Another fantasy of mine?” He asked, his tone patronising but his posture all the opposite, respectful and tender, like a man talking to his woman. He leaned down, close to your ear. “I want you to sit on my face, Kitten. I wanna lick you up like you’re dripping in cream. I want my face covered in jour taste. I want to choke between your legs. Will you give me that?” He asked, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear and placing a soft kiss on your temple. “Will you give me that, Kitten?”

You had gone completely still, afraid that even your smallest move could break the spell. “Take it now, please, Yoongi.” You begged. “I can’t take this anymore. I’m so wet. I’m so tired of needing you all the time!” You whined, grabbing his hand and placing it between your clothed thighs, where your wetness had started to diffuse.

“I can’t, Kitten. You know our promises. But what about my question, uh? Have you ever had a threesome, sweetheart?”

��Once. After leaving my ex I had some wild times. A couple of university friends asked me to join them. I sort of liked it.” You admitted, as your hips tried to grind against his barely-there fingers.

“Liked doing it with a girl?” He asked, gripping your thigh and pressing you down, stopping your attempt at release.

“I liked eating her out.”

“Kitty girl likes using her tongue. Good for her.” He murmured, trying to stop the image of you doing that. He needed to try. Needed to see. Fuck monogamy, he could try this before you became too his to share.

By now he was sitting at your side and you were doing everything, everything in your power to stop yourself from straddling his lap and shoving his head between your breasts. You took your glass and took a sip, his nose drawing a thin line following the outline of your throat while swallowing. You almost choked. “What’s your favorite part of sex?”

“Foreplay. But it was already clear, wasn’t it?” He taunted. “You need to focus, Kitten. Ask the right questions. Mirror sex?” He queried.

“Yes.” You replied. Alcohol spurred you on. “Honestly, I want to try giving a man a hand job while stading behind him, in front of a mirror. I’d like to feel the power of that.” You shrugged.

“That sounds nice.” He played it cool, the erection in his trousers now too blatant to even bother covering.

You almost wanted to ask him if he had a full-length mirror nearby so you could get started right there and then. But you didn’t like how cool and unaffected he seemed. You wanted him to get flustered and drink and undo another button. You wanted him to throw his head back so you could lick a stripe up his neck. “And I would whisper dirty stuff in your ear. Don’t think I didn’t notice how flustered you were during our gallery visit.”

“Darling, that was an exercise in restraint. I almost smashed you against the closest painting at least three times.”

“Only three times?” You lifted your eyebrows dramatically.

“I’m almost offended, Min Yoongi.”

“Careful there, Kitten.” He warned.

“Unless?” You provoked him.

“I’ve promised I won’t fuck you tonight.” He murmured.

“Such a coquettish tease you are.” You huffed, looking away.

“I want you to ruin me, Kitten. We can’t do that until promotion is over and you can leave marks all over me as much as you want.” His deepened voice made you squirm on your seat, legs crossing in desperate need to ease the pulsing under your panties.

“It’s almost four a.m. Are you sure you want to finish this?”

I want you to finish me. “Question...”

“Eighteen, babe.”

“Mh, nice. If your partner ever caught you touching yourself, would you keep going?”

“Depends, but yeah, I think so.” Pause. “I would put up a nice show for you.” He palmed his erection through the fabric, trying to get more comfortable.

Yes, you noticed. No, you did not comment. Self combustion is not your current goal, after all. “That’s all you’re gonna offer me?” You asked piqued, dragging your fingernail from his knee to his hipbone slowly. He didn’t manage to hold back a shiver.

You chuckled lowly. “Sensitive little thing.”

“My turn, little devil. What of masturbating while dirty talking?” He asked, his arm moving behind your back and climbing up, snaking around your shoulder, his hand grabbing your chin to shift your gaze from his lap to his face.

“Want to know a secret, baby?” You lured him in, carefully.

“Everything.”

“I’ve touched myself while listening to you.” You whispered at his ear, goosebumps raising everywhere, his whole body growing too sensitive as your hand moved to his inner thigh.

“Really?” Yoongi asks, trying to push his crotch in your palm.

You retreated your hand, offering only the tip of your index finger, which started lazily tracing the outline of his hard on. “I’m sorry. Does it bother you?”

He winced. He would really come in his pants like a teenager. Was your question about your hand or about using his voice to get yourself off? He didn’t mind, both. “I’m perfectly good with it, Kitten. I’m just surprised. What was I talking about.” His voice was neutral, but his eyes were closing, mouth hanging open.

You neared your mouth to his ear and started explaining. “It was a voice note. You were discussing a beat, describing the vibe of the piece you had just finished, murmuring stuff about the bass and not being sure of the tempo, maybe slowing it down.”

“And you came to that?” He asked, opening his eyes and meeting yours.

You were stroking him through his clothes and you hadn’t even kissed him yet. I told you. A slut. That’s what you are. You reprimanded yourself. “I came to the sound of your voice. The pattern of stresses. It was so relaxing. The way your voice resonated.” You kissed his jaw, taking courage.

He smiled. “Next time I’ll send you something more... stimulating, then.” He cocked his head to the side, showing you the soft skin below his chin.

You kissed there too. “I’ll look forward to it.” Another kiss. “Final question.” Another. “if you could do anything to me right now, what would you do?” You placed another kiss on his neck as he moaned, his hips moving shamelessly.

You offered him your palm.

He groaned when he started answering. “Tear your clothes off. Suck your panties clean ‘cause they must be soaked.”

You squeezed your hand around his shape. He was rock hard, the curve following the waistband of his pants. He didn’t feel excessively big, but still his thickness felt nice on your palm. You just wished you could see him naked. He emitted a low whine, his hand dropping from your chin and hitting your chest. “Keep going, Yoongi.” You encouraged him, needing to know what he wanted to do to you.

“I would lick you clean. Fuck you on the sofa, you on top of me. Riding me while I suck on those gorgeous tits.” His hand reached lower, holding your breast and rolling it expertly in his gentle grip. “I’d cum in your cunt while I’m balls deep inside you. And when we’re done I would fuck my cum back inside with my tongue.” He growled like a vicious beast and you just couldn’t help it, you needed your hand between your thighs. You obeyed to your need.

“You’re a filthy, greedy boy, Yoongi, aren’t you?” You asked, giving him more, rewarding for the glorious image he’d just gifted you.

“It’s with you. Just you.” He called out, his voice broken, his mouth desperate. “My final question. Why haven’t you kissed my lips yet?”

“I was waiting for you.” You murmured, bringing your lips upwards, against his throat. He was completely immobilised as you lingered a hairsbreadth from his plush pout. “Yes?”

“Yes.” He whispered.

That’s when you lowered yourself on him, once hopeless, starved and now finally hopeful and nourished.

He feeded you milk and honey, his assault sweet and rich, a balm to your tarnished soul. His lips latched onto your lower lip, sucking and sucking in a way that made you want to offer him every inch of your body. Yes, you would still wait for this. You would keep waiting. For this moment to come back, for this feeling to bloom and fill you over and over again, anytime he kissed you, from now to the rest of eternity. You murmured his name on his mouth and he spoke yours, with alarm over his features.

“Too much, too much, Kitten, please.” He whispered, pressing harder against your hand. “Want you. Please. Touch yourself. I wanna cum with you.”

He was lost and desperate, grinding against you like a fool.

You undid your zipper and put your hands on your sodden folds. You delivered a peck on his lips. “How close?” You asked.

“Very.” He replied, wetting your lips with the tip of his tongue, making you open your mouth and licking you up, flirting with your own tongue.

You pulled away to bite his jaw gently. “I’ve never been this wet, Yoongi. I’ve wanted you for so long.”

“Gimme...” You studied the geography of his lap, finding his tip and focusing there. “Yes.” He murmured, before intensifying his pushes. “Yes. Yes. Yes. Please, ____, let me hear you.”

You let out an embarrassed, tentative whine, then, trying to properly assist him, you started getting carried away, losing your damper, clenching your inner muscles and whispering his name. “Yoongi, I’m close.” You murmured. “Need you to…”

“Yes, Kitten, baby, please… I–” With a groan, he hid his head in the crook of your neck, biting on the skin, not too harshly.

It was all it took. “Yoongi!” You screamed, pushing into your own hand and collapsing against the back of the couch, dragging him with you.

When you regained conscience, he was already out of his high, looking flustered and sleepy and glowing. Beautiful.

“Can I?” He uttered quietly.

You nodded, barely coherent.

He helped your hand out of your waistband, careful not to stain your clothes. And granting you a fine view, he brought your hands to his mouth and licked them clean.

His tongue delved into every angle and plane, making sure he got every drop. Licking his lips, he stared into your soul and murmured deeply. “The fucking sweetest.”

And then he held you close. “There’s a spare bathroom, at the end of the hall. It has everything you need.” He explained. “I’ll get cleaned myself. Will you sleep in my bed?” He asked, his voice so vulnerable it shattered your heart.

“Of course, sweetheart.”

#bangtan sonyeondan #bts smut #bangtan smut #min yoongi #min yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #yoongi scenario #yoongi imagine #yoongi one shot #yoongi reaction

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sxveme-2 · 4 years ago

Text

blueberry pancakes // bucky barnes

MASTERLIST

Description: A single mother. Juggling being a mom, a full time pediatrician, and a difficult ex who believed now would be the best time to finally be a father. A soldier ripped out of time. Ex-assassin turned superhero. Learning how to balance a new domestic life with handling demons of his past, while facing the trials of the future. a love story began over something as simple as chocolate chip pancakes with hidden blueberries.

Disclaimer: I do not own any original Marvel characters! All canon plots and canon characters belong to Marvel Comics and Marvel Studios. This is an original work. You may not publish it anywhere else

Status: Unedited

Note: Takes place after endgame. I have elected to ignore Tony's death and Steve's leaving. Did not happen. Quick Reminder! My works are only published here, AO3 and on Wattpad, thank you.

Chapter Twenty Three: The One When They're Alone

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 4040

Lily knew was never a huge fan of Christmas. The only reason she put the amount of effort she did into it was for Hunter. He loved the holiday. As a child, it was usually one of the only days that his father would be home the whole day. But it was one of Lily's least favourites, because her parents weren't typically home for Christmas. Usually, Lily and her siblings would find themselves up at their grandparents. She wasn't complaining, she loved her grandparents, and she knew her parents wanted to be home, but their work was essentially them constantly travelling. And then further in her future, Scott may have been there for Hunter, but he was not there for Lily. He was seemingly at his worst during the holidays...and she just happened to be the one on the receiving end of his anger.

Lily hadn't seen Bucky get angry yet. It sat in the back of her mind like a looming threat, and she wondered if the past few months had simply been a facade. That in reality, he was no different. Did she think it was true? No, no she didn't think he would ever hurt her. But she had suffered such trauma from Scott that she just...she was never too sure.

"Your turn, doll," Bucky smiled, picking up two boxes that were very clearly wrapped by Rose, seeing as the girl was sending a knowing nod at her older sister, "Yeah yeah Rose wrapped them, my attempt was sad."

Lily laughed and kissed the man's cheek before turning to his presents that sat in her lap. She picked up the first one, it was long and rectangular, not too large either. Raising her eyebrow, she carefully unwrapped the box, revealing a lovely leather case with her name scripted on the top of it. Looking over at him, she pursed her lips before lifting the black lid, feeling the tears prick at her forest green eyes. She stared down at the silver necklace, running her hands over the scripted letter that hung from the chain. It was a small pendant, simple and discreet. But it was something that made Lily's heart grow three times its size. A simple B hung from the chain.

"Buck..." she whispered, looking up at him with glazed and teary eyes, "It's lovely." she cooed, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his lips before lifting it from the white pillow it rested on.

"Let me." Bucky chuckled, taking the piece of jewelry and moving her blonde hair across her shoulder. She turned her back to him and shivered at his metal hand brushing against the back of her neck as he clasped the necklace together.

"Alright open the other one." Gen said excitedly, earning a head tilt from the blonde. Bucky chuckled lowly from behind her and Lily readjusted herself in her seat, carefully unwrapping the next box.

As she opened the lid of the next box, her confusion only grew. Inside the box laid a single white envelope with her name written. Reaching in and pulling out the box, Lily furrowed her eyebrows. Opening the envelope, her heart only continued to grow. Inside sat a picture of a cabin, covered in snow and decorated with lovely garland. The cabin was built of logs, and had a fire burning on the inside. The snow was so perfectly landscaped it almost seemed fake, but she knew it was just a picturesque image taken to lure people in for what she figured would be a vacation. In the bottom, a handwritten note was written out in Bucky's hand writing, with a simple few words summing up exactly what it was.

"Just the two of us." He repeated aloud, hand resting on the small of her back, tracing gentle patterns, "It's Steve's cabin. Y'know with him retired now, he doesn't exactly have a lot to do. But he said it's ours for as long as we want it." he continued, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"It's perfect, Buck," she whispered, a gentle chuckle lacing her voice as she turned and placed a kiss to his forehead, "Absolutely perfect."

-----

And it was. Bucky and Lily had decided to take Steve up on his offer the weekend of Valentine's Day. The couple had reached three months together officially, and she figured it would be nice for them to experience the romantic weekend alone together. No kids, no sisters, no work, no distractions. Bucky had promised her that there would be no interruptions, and that it was just going to be the two of them. He made an emphasis on the whole 'no work' part, and Lily would be sure to hold him to it.

Turning off the car, Bucky turned to look at Lily with a kind and loving smile on his face, "Alright doll, we've arrived."

Lily glanced out the window and smiled at the snowy landscape. It was February so the cold wasn't unbearable, but it wasn't exactly a comfortable temperature either. Lily was a Long Island native, so Northern New York weather wasn't exactly her favourite thing. It dipped down quite low and she would have to estimate it sat at about minus ten celsius currently. Either way, she was just grateful for the time alone with Bucky. It had felt like ages since the two didn't have something going on around them. Whether it be Bucky's work, or Lily's. Not to mention, Rose was nearing her due date and constantly stressed about the arrival of her baby, while also finding somewhere to live that wasn't Lily's.

"That drive felt like hours," Lily teased, leaning over and nudging Bucky's arm, "I'm just glad you didn't fall asleep on me old man." she quipped, popping open her door and stepping out from the car.

"You have been hanging out with Sam way too much," Bucky chuckled, following the blondes suit, "You're starting to sound like him."

"Well the man is a comedic genius, I should be taking pointers." She hummed, picking up her bag from the back seat and hauling it over her shoulder, rounding the car to meet Bucky.

"Don't tell him that, it'll inflate his ego even bigger than it is." Bucky chuckled, walking over and quickly grabbing her by the waist.

The blonde let out a bright laugh, curling over in his arms and stumbling along the snow. Bucky's chuckle filled her ears like a sweet song as the two stumbled back towards the log cabin belonging to their friend. His lips found her cheek and peppered loving pecks along it, causing her giggles to evolve into small squeaks as she fumbled to pull out the keys. When she found them, it didn't take long for the blonde to unlock the door and peel herself from the supersoldiers arms. Dropping her bag and tugging the grey knit hat off of her hair, Lily turned to look back at the man who stood in front of the door. Placing her hands on her hips, she admired him for a moment. Nothing was on her mind. Just him.

The way his eyes sunk a bit deeper into his face due to the years of struggle and trauma. The way he had let his beard grow out a bit, not fully a beard but a thicker stubble. Were his shoulders always so broad? Lily admired the way his arm flexed when he removed his own hat, swallowing deeply. But the biggest thing that stood out to her was the way he looked at her. That deep thought sort of gaze, as if he were doing the same thing she was. Admiring everything about the other. No exterior factors playing any games, just the two of them. Alone. He looked at her so lovingly, watching her every move intently and studying the way she acted. He was so in tune with everything about Lily that she began to blush, and he was merely looking at her, neither had spoken.

"What're you staring at, Barnes?" she quipped, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothin', Osborne." he retorted, closing the door and sliding his jacket off before turning back towards her, a smirk evident on his lips.

Pursing her lips into a smile, Lily ran forward and jumped up onto the man, wrapping her legs around his torso. Her arms snuck around his neck, while his found underneath her thighs. Their lips hovered mere centimetres from the others, breathing in the others' existence before finally connecting. It was cheesy and cliche but she felt fireworks deep within her stomach. The two moved together like ocean waves joining together, creating a large body of water. Lily's hands tangled themselves into the short strands on the top of his head and Bucky stumbled his way to the couch. He bent over and laid her gently on the leather couch. She hummed softly at the feeling of a yarn blanket tickling at her neck as he hovered above her. Both of their faces were flushed from the cold outside and the passionate moment they had just shared. Bucky's steel blue eyes stared down at her and he reached over the couch. Furrowing her eyebrows, Lily watched as he pulled out a black old fashioned camera.

"Surprised you know how to work one of those things, old man." she teased, covering her face with her chilled hands.

"Oh don't get smart with me now, doll," he purred, moving her hands with his metal one, "you'll regret it later." the man winked, quickly snapping a photo of the woman before tossing the camera onto the table.

"Is that a threat or a promise." Lily returned, a smirk evident on her lips.

"Well...I did tell Steve he'll probably want to hire a deep cleaning service after we're done." He chuckled, resting his weight on his heels.

"James Barnes!"

-----

Lily hummed gently to herself to the song that played through the small kitchen in the cabin. Saving All My Love For You by Whitney Houston was her background noise of choice as she put together a romantic dinner for her and Bucky to commemorate their first night there. The lyrics left her mouth in a soft tone as she chopped up cucumbers for the salad, her hips swaying gently to the music. Bucky had stepped out to the grocery store in town to pick up a few things they had left back at the house, and Lily wanted to surprise him. She had packed a dress that her and Gen had found at a vintage shop in Manhattan, it was 40's inspired, with a deep forest green colour, a bow at the collar with a keyhole that exposed a bit of her collarbone, and hit just below her knee. It had short sleeves, and made her feel like she should be on the dance floor of The Cotton Club in Harlem during the 1940's. She had attempted the classic pin curls of the time but...they were subpar.

Glancing behind her, Lily stirred the marinara sauce as the chicken baked in the oven. But the lights of the car made her stomach drop. She was hoping the snow would slow him down enough for her to finish dinner and have it ready for him when he got home. Pouting to herself, Lily returned to her chopping. Well, as much as she wanted her plan to fully execute itself, she tried her best. Not to mention, he had shown himself to be a fast driver. Her voice continued to sing out the lyrics to Whitney, as she checked on the chicken. She popped her head up briefly when she heard the crunching of snow grow closer to the door. She stood, and brushed off the soft dress she wore as she waited.

"The snow is crazy, doll, I swear," Bucky's voice called, "but I got the snacks you wanted. I also rented a few movi- woah."

A blush flooded the blonde's face as she locked eyes with the man across from her. He was covered in snow and carrying four different grocery bags. But they fell from his fists as he stared at her longer. Insecurities washed over Lily at his silence and she crossed her arms over her stomach, that familiar queasy feeling returning. Her eyes shifted to stare down at her feet as she shuffled on the hardwood floor, waiting for him to say something, or anything at that.

She didn't even hear him take off his jacket, his boots, or anything. She didn't even hear him walk over to her. But she did feel the way his arms slipped around her waist, hands playing along her stomach as the music changed into the 40's love songs she had put in the queue. The gentle sounds of guitar played as Aubrey Hepburn's melodic tone filled the kitchen. Moon River began to play, and Bucky nuzzled his face into the crook of Lily's neck. Her eyes fluttered shut as he swayed behind her, his grip moving her with him. The food long forgotten about, Lily turned to face him, arms wrapping around his neck. Their foreheads met one anothers, eyes shut as they continued to sway back and forth in the kitchen. With the snow falling outside, and the delectable smells filling the cabin, Lily felt like she was in a dream. Any worry she had ever felt leaving her as the moment consumed her.

His lips ghosted hers as the song came to an end, but his grip didn't waver. The two continued with their dance, seconds turning to minutes as time seemed to cease to exist. The only thing both felt was the bodies of each other. His hands gripping her waist, rubbing circles through the silky material of her dress. The smoky musk of him filling her senses acting as though it were a drug, sending her into a state of euphoria. She knew they weren't a conventional couple, but it were these moments that reminded her that they could be. The couple that went on walks on the beach, or walked the dog through central park. Or danced in the kitchen at 3 in the morning. Went on ice cream dates, with or without Hunter. Spent time talking and telling the other just what went on in their heads. Growing together as separate people with a shared love.

But the fire alarm pulled her back from her daydreams, and reality smacked Lily in the face.

"Oh my god the chicken!" She exclaimed, pulling away from Bucky's strong grip as she grabbed her oven mitts and pulled open the oven, a puff of smoke wafting into her face.

Bucky laughed gently as Lily scrambled around, trying to salvage the rest of the meal she had planned. When she saw the sauce and chicken however, her heart sunk down to the floor. Groaning, the blonde placed her elbows on the counter and her face in her hands. She shook her head and felt the heartbreak spread through her at her failed evening attempt.

"If it makes you feel better," Bucky cooed, lifting his girlfriends chin to look at him, "I bought your favourite pizza, and rented your favourite movie...and just so happened to pick up your favourite ice cream," he grinned, wiggling his eyebrows, "and as hot as you look in this dress...why don't we just get into pyjamas and watch a few movies and veg out."

Lily smiled sadly at him and nodded, "I like that plan. I should have known that trying to cook alone would be a disaster."

"I give it an A for effort."

"Oh whatever, metal man."

-----

Lily groaned as she stretched her arms above her head, before rubbing the heel of her hand into her eyes. Peeling the lids apart, the bright sun sent a shock through her system. Collecting her barings, Lily realized her and Bucky had fallen asleep on the couch. She had to admit, it was a pretty comfy couch. It was made of leather and had deep sides with the tufted coverings, and small cashmere blankets that were not at all big enough to cover anyone. But the two had grabbed a few spare from the closet before they settled in for their movie night. Glancing down, Bucky's head rested on her stomach, the man still sound asleep. She admired the calmness in his face, the stress lines faded and smoothed out as he rested. Reaching behind her, she grabbed ahold of the camera he had brought and quickly snapped a photo, admiring his gentle snores. She ran her fingers through his hair and tilted her head to the side. Lily had known Bucky was handsome, hell, the first time she saw him she knew it.

He had chiseled cheekbones, a sharp jawline that was covered with stubble. His cheeks hollowed slightly, and his eyes creased at the edges. His nose was straight with a slight bump to it, and it fit his face shape perfectly. His eyes were hooded and even closed, held stories that she couldn't imagine. While asleep, they were less noticeable, but there were creases in the centre of his forehead, and Lily's stomach did a flip. His breathing was still that of a deep sleep, and she couldn't help but trace the contours of his face. The aged lines that each told a tale of his life. The rough patches of hair that prickled at the blonde's still hands as she continued to admire him.

Moments later, he began to stir from between her legs, causing Lily to giggle slightly as his nose scrunched. His eyes seemed to force themselves open at the noise, and the same feeling she got from the bright light seemed to hit Bucky as well. Her soft coos caused a groan to emit from the man's throat as he burrowed his face deeper into her stomach, pulling the blankets further over them both. Shaking her head, Lily pulled herself up from underneath the large man, or at least tried to. His weight was on a certain part of her body that just held her in one place. Throwing her head back, Lily shook her head before looking back down at him.

"Buck, c'mon, let's get up." She sighed, ruffling the messy curls on his head.

"Five more minutes." He whined, pulling her closer by her hips.

"No. I'm a mother, I know what five more minutes means," she laughed, "and we are not spending all day on the couch. Lets go skate on the lake today, love."

Bucky shot up, eyes wide at her request, "No. No, I refuse."

Furrowing her eyebrows, Lily crossed her slightly cramped legs, "...and why do you refuse, Mr. Barnes?"

Bucky scratched the back of his neck as he avoided the intense gaze that Lily was sending his way. Lowering her eyes, the blonde crawled forward and took his face into her hands. They locked eyes and for a moment, she thought about kissing him. But she figured it would be better to figure out why he was so against going skating. Then it clicked, and she realized just why he was so against it. Pursing her lips to keep from smiling, Lily leaned back onto her heels.

"Bucky...do you not know how to skate?" She wondered, cocking an eyebrow at him.

"...Do not tell Steve or Sam they will be on my ass about it." Bucky quickly said, taking his girlfriends hands into his own.

"I won't, I won't, but I'm invoking the 'It's Valentine's Day' card. Because it's Valentines Day, and it will be romantic," she grinned, tucking a stray hair behind her ear, "plus, I'll teach you how to skate. It's not that hard I promise. I saw they have skates down at the lake so c'mon, gotta get a good pair."

"You're gonna be the death of me, doll."

"That's what I'm here for."

-----

He wasn't lying when he said he didn't know how to skate. Lily skated gracefully out onto the ice, waiting for Bucky to lace up his skates. It had been a while since she had skated, seeing as it wasn't something she did commonly. She used to go all the time with Gen back in Long Island when they were younger, but eventually they stopped. But her muscle memory kicked in as she twirled and skated around the ice. She dodged children and couples as she warmed up her body. Only to spot Bucky hesitantly staring at the ice in front of him. Lily made her way back towards him, stretching her mitt covered hand out towards him.

"It's not going to bite, Buck," Lily smiled softly, moving a bit closer, "C'mon. I'll be here the whole time." she reassured, gripping his hand as he curled it into hers.

The moment he stepped onto the ice, both ended up falling. Him from a lack of balance, and her from the fact he fell. Bucky groaned while Lily laughed, pushing herself off the ground and placing her hands on her hips. He had flopped his arms out and let his head fall against the ice, a clearly forced pained look on his features. Rolling her eyes, Lily gripped his hand and yanked, attempting to pull him back up onto his feet. The thing is, he was a supersoldier, she was a doctor. She had strength, hell, she pushed out a child. But you see, Bucky was, once again, a supersoldier. Dropping his arm, and crossing her own over her chest, Lily glared down at him.

"I won't cook dinner for a week if you don't help me get you up." Lily threatened, arching her brow.

Opening his eyes, Bucky mirrored her expression, "Is that a threat or a promise?" He teased, resulting in a handful of snow to be thrown at him. A low laugh escaped from his chest as Bucky heaved himself up, gripping onto Lily for support.

"Wow you're such a comedian." She quipped, rolling her eyes and gripping onto his forearms.

The two skated for a few hours. Two to be exact. Bucky had essentially latched onto Lily's waist the entire time. She skated around, dragging him behind her as he bent over and hugged himself to her back, arms tightly wound around her waist. At one point, he did let go and try to stand on his own. He lasted about...five minutes. After that, Lily had to offer her back as support for the poor man so he didn't go tumbling face first into the ice. The entire time was spent laughing and stumbling, as well as Lily trying her hardest to just get him to stand. Sadly, she didn't have much luck. He continued to grip onto her even when they were heading back towards the edge to leave and take off their skates. It was endearing, but Lily had hoped to get somewhere with it. Still, she had a good time. And seeing The Winter Soldier be genuinely afraid to fall made Lily's heart swell. Seeing that more vulnerable side of him made Lily sure they were moving in a good direction in their relationship.

As the two neared the cabin, Lily saw a familiar car parked on the road across from where they were staring. She didn't think too much of it as they walked into the cabin, ridding of their coats and winter gear they had layered on, to face the bone chilling cold that had taken over the outdoors. Both then dropped onto the couch with cups of tea and coffee, Lily had the tea, and Bucky the coffee. His arm draped around her, drawing patterns into her knit sweater covered arm.

But the peace didn't last long.

A knock on the door surprised Lily and Bucky. They both stopped talking about their ideal vacations, and turned to look at the door. Lily placed her tea down and stood to her feet, making her way over towards the wooden piece. Her eyebrows were furrowed and she glanced over at Bucky before she pulled the door open. Her jaw went slack and mind went blank when she saw the person. Because she knew the reason he would be here.

"Hey Lily...is Bucky here?"

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obsidian-aurora · 4 years ago

Link

As I’m about to dive into the events of 227 in my fanfic, I thought now is a good moment to take some time to reflect on the past year.

Words: 1,086,764

Chapters: 131/?

Comments: 2206

Kudos: 4065

Bookmarks: 350

If you can believe it, I started writing this fic almost a year ago now. I’ve written the equivalent of a novel a month this whole year! Nuts. I watched The Untamed for the first time over a year ago. My soul was captured by the light that I saw in Xiao Zhan’s and Yibo’s eyes when they looked at each other. And I haven’t stopped believing in the power of love since then.

Sounds corny? Yeah, kind of is.

It’s hard to imagine that when I started writing this fic, the Special Edition hadn’t come out yet. There was only the official BTS on the Tencent channel to watch - as well as a pile of interviews and fanmeetings. There were no secret Discord groups, I didn’t even have a Twitter account. I had this old blog of mine on Tumblr and an old AO3 account that I dusted off to start writing some fanfiction again.

Did you know I’m a self-published author? Oh yeah, for years I wrote nothing but my own novels. You can check them out here at lillybirdsong.com

I thought to myself, I’ll just write a short fanfic over the course of December. I’ll publish it in January and rid my system of this bug I’ve got and then move on. Now, a year later and I still can’t stop writing about these boys. What is it? It’s all about love. It’s about the belief that against all odds, whether it’s living in a society that doesn’t support LGBT individuals, whether it’s struggling with management companies that don’t support you in your own careers, against all odds Love Wins™.

Or does it?

I’m about to embark on writing the 227 part of the fanfiction and I thought it was really important for me to remind everyone that what I’m writing here is not a bible, it’s not a biography, it’s a piece of fiction that’s my own personal interpretation of what might have happened. I’m saying this because it’s soul-crushing to imagine what might have taken place behind closed doors, the conversations that would have happened, the thoughts that would have spun out of control.

I mean, I just remember my own journey. Some of which is documented right here on Tumblr. I wrote one of my first artist blogs when I hit 50 chapters on Yizhan in early Feb. I wrote a post when Xiao Zhan fans first started calling out AO3 for hosting inflammatory material. I wrote a post when I considered whether this fic should be abandoned. I wrote a post when Coronavirus brought me back home on a plane way earlier than expected. I wrote a post in April when I completed 80 chapters, and at the end of May when I completed 100 chapters.

I’ve gone a bit dark on Tumblr since I moved to Twitter where there’s a lot more BJYX interaction going on, but Twitter is not a good place for a long post so I’m once again spilling my thoughts here on Tumblr.

Writing about 227

As I start to write about this, I’m going to pick and choose which rumours I will write into the story and which I’ll discard. Because let’s get real - there are a lot of rumours out there, and no one except those people intimately involved will know the truth of the matter. I do choose to believe some of the malicious rumours. And so I will include some of them.

Don’t start a war in my comments section. I beg you. I’ll just have to end up moderating my comments which I never wanted to do.

Disagreements within the fandom

I’ve noticed more and more “extreme” behaviour within the BJYX fandom. I feel like ever since the “secret” BTS (which are mostly the same as what we saw in the official BTS just longer cuts) have whipped turtles up into a frenzy! And when someone has a different opinion or when someone likes to spout theories about what their small interactions might mean in the context of the bigger picture, that can cause harm.

So I’m saying right now - everyone’s entitled to their own points of view. No one knows the truth but the ones involved.

Don’t bring your disagreements to my fic.

Respect in public spaces

I have also stated this on Twitter but I want to put my 2 cents here as well. I’ve also been uncomfortable lately with the amount of public discourse about body parts, about sex positions, really really intimate things. If you want to write fanfics or draw fanart to explore these interpretations, I say go for it! That’s appropriate because it’s within the realm of fantasy. But when it comes down to really speculating about what’s going on in the private lives of these two men we love so much, I personally would rather those conversations be relegated to private spaces - Discord, WhatsApp. Not Twitter and Tumblr. So you’ll notice that I’ve unfollowed and even blocked some accounts recently that cross a line I’m not comfortable with.

When I do that, it’s not about you, it’s not a personal attack. That’s just me not being comfortable with the content that’s being created in the space it’s being distributed. If you want to chat with me about it, I’m very open to having that discussion in DM. I’ve been called a hypocrite for my views given that my story is an explicit one, but in my mind there’s a clear distinction between me publishing a story on AO3 and people discussing their real private lives in public spaces like Twitter. That’s just my point of view and I mean no offence to those that feel the opposite.

As usual, I always have my finger on the trigger to take Yizhan down the moment it causes harm to the boys in question.

Other interesting things I’ve done lately:

I’ve been publishing some Fanart. (See the pic at the end of this post as an example). Follow me on Twitter @ObsidianAurora to get the latest as I usually post things first there. I’ll try to remember to post things here as well.

I started a YouTube Channel. It’s called Queer Stories and it’s my space to talk about all things queer - video games, TV shows, and yeah sometimes even how harmful it can be to assume you know someone’s gender identity, whether they’re feminine or masculine, and that this has nothing to do with a person’s sexuality. This video I made in the context of BJYX/LSFY/ZSWW and Yizhan.

I opened a Patreon account since some people wanted to know how to support me. I have been jobless since our visual effects studio closed down in May and I’m starting up a new job again next week (finally!) but if you want to contribute for the work I’m doing this would be the way.

Be Kind.

I’ve rambled on for quite a bit now so let me end it here. Let me just say please be kind. Be kind to each other. Be kind to those who disagree with you. When you’re tempted to lash out, consider the other person’s point of view first.

Remember that what started this was love. Not hate. Don’t give in to the temptation to participate in fanwars. Remember the love.

Thanks for listening to my Ted Talk.

~Obsidian Aurora~

#yizhan #yizhan fanfic #yizhan fanfiction #bozhan #bozhan fanfic #LSFY #bjyx #bjyx fic #bjyxszd #zsww #wangxiao #wangxiao fanfic

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butterflies-dragons · 4 years ago

Note

You were too kind to that jonarya anon. Well this is nice of you. But why didn’t you just mention that Grrm has already very openly denied Jonarya? He said Jon seeing Arya in Ygritte was not a romantic hint. This is Grrm we are talking about... He would say keep reading or no comment if he took them serious... That boat (not even gonna call ship) is dead but jonaryas still lurking under our posts like stalking us is going to change the reality. Sad.

Hi Anon,

I didn’t mention the Balticon 2016 Report because that’s what GRRM has said, and they only asked about “my opinion”, so that’s what I said, my opinion.

Now, if you are asking for the author’s own voice, I will answer citing GRRM words.

This is not a shipper or anti shipper opinion, this is citing the author’s own words, and this is something that even in a platform like asoiaf reddit, is taken as “denial of the romance between Jon & Arya” [Source]:

MAY 2016 - BALTICON

After the Coffee Talk just outside the room:

My Con Friend asked about Arya and Jon again. This time GRRM gave some very pointed replies:

GRRM finished (in the hallway now) by saying that he “wished some past things weren’t such strong foreshadowing,” and that he, “wished some new things had stronger foreshadowing then.”

Friend: Ok, if you foreshadowed something in the first book, like, really cleverly hidden, would you then follow through on that hint? For sure?..

GRRM: “Well, this goes with what I said before, the story changes and expands as I write. I wish I was able to go back and make revised drafts, but that’s not going to happen.”

Here is a transcript of the outline discussion and Jon/Arya portion of the coffee talk:

[question about Jon/Arya]

GRRM: “Alright, you’ve thought about this more than I have. I mean it’s simple, Jon is very fond of Arya. They were the two odd birds in the Stark family nest, here. They didn’t quite fit in with the others, they look like each other, they both had the brown hair, you know, as opposed to the auburn hair of Sansa and Bran and Rickon and Robb. So there was always that closeness between them. And, you know, Arya didn’t mind that Jon was a bastard, and Jon didn’t mind that Arya was a tomboy, so there is that closeness there.”

[question about Jon comparing his lover to his sister]

GRRM: “If he did it, uhm… I began writing these books in 1991, and, uhm, I worked on it in 91 and then I got a tv play, so I put it aside to really work on ‘Doorways’ tv pilot and did a tv show in 92-93. In 94 I returned to it [the books] and worked on it. You know, up till then, in my career as a writer, I’d always written the entire book before I opted for sale. That’s unusual. Most writers do chapters and an outline. They write a few chapters, they outline the rest of the book, give that to the publisher and the publisher says ‘oh okay, I’ll take that’.

“As some of you may have noticed, those who have been paying very, very carefully attention, I’m not good with deadlines. And, uh, and I’m not good with outlines, either. I always hated outlines. So with Fevre Dream and with Armageddon Rag and with Dying of the Light and all my novels, I wrote the entire book. I didn’t do chapters and outline. I sat down, I wrote a whole book, and I sent it to my agent and said ‘Look, here’s a whole book, and it’s finished’. That way I ran into no deadline, it was finished before it even went on the market. And it worked well for me. And my initial thought was to do this the same way, but what happened, you know, was in 1994, uhm, when I returned to it and I’m working on it and I’m very enthused about it and I say ‘I really wanna write these Game of Thrones books as the next part’. But I was still in Hollywood and I’d just lost all this groundwork on ‘Doorways’, I was still in… The studios and networks still wanna work with me, so I’m getting other offers, like ‘We want you to write this movie’, ‘we want you to do another tv pilot’. And, you know, I took a couple of them and was ‘Oh god, I gotta have to put the book away again’. Cause I have no deadline [for the book]. You know, when you think Hollywood, they will give you a deadline, you know, they say ‘here, son, write this movie, we want it in three months’.

“So, I said ‘look, if I wanna get back to being a novelist, I’m gonna have to sell this even though it’s not finished’. So I had my 200 pages of Game of Thrones at that point, but they wanted outline. I said ‘I don’t do outlines. I don’t know what’s gonna happen, I figure it out as I go. And that’s how I always did it.’ No, we had to have an outline. So I wrote two pages, a two-page thing about what I thought would happen. It’ll be a trilogy, it’ll be three books, Game of Thrones, the Dance with Dragons, and Winds of Winter. Those were the three window titles. And, uh, it’ll be three books and this’ll happen, and this’ll happen, and this’ll happen. And I was making up shit.

“And I had thought that those two pages were long forgotten, because, of course, the books did sell. They sold in the United States and in Great Britain, both. They sold for enough money that I didn’t have to take any more Hollywood games. So I was able to say ‘no’ around. I had a few less [?] to wind up in in 94 and 95. Once I had, I said ‘no, I don’t want any more movies or tv shows, I’m going to write these books now’. And I started writing the books. And in the process, I pretty much disregarded the outline. The characters took me off in entirely different directions. So, for 20 years I had forgotten that that two-page thing even existed. And then someone in my British publisher, HarperCollins, they got a new office building, uh, brand new offices, and new conference rooms, big conference rooms that they decorated with books and stuff like that. And they named the conference rooms after the writers, so one of the conference rooms [?], and they put up these plastic display cases, including the outline. The two-page outline, yes. [?], they didn’t ask my permission, they just put it up. And in that two-page outline, Jon and Arya become a romantic item.”

“You know, I don’t think it’s a reference for that [for romance]. It’s a reference to a certain physical type, and a certain indication of what Jon finds admirable. It’s like someone who reminds you of, you know… Other people might be put off by this, you know, hair that looks like small rodents have been living in there. It doesn’t put him off because he is used to that.””

[someone says they have 5 minutes left]

“You know, I was pretty pissed that that outline got out there. It should not have happened. Outlines and letters like that are meant only for the eyes of the editor. They shouldn’t go on public display. And, uh, they also [?] my papers on [?], all my papers and correspondence. You know, I’ve been sending that stuff there for years, and it’d be, you know, available for future scholars or whatever, just like the papers of many other writers. Somehow, in the back of my head I was like ‘yeah, 20 years after I’m dead some scholar will go in and find them’. They’re going in right now!” ”

[question if he is still going with the 1991 ending]

“It was actually Bronn and Chiggen, and then one of them dies, I flipped a coin ‘okay, who dies? Chiggen dies, cause his name is stupid. Bronn is a better name, so I’ll keep Bronn’. And then Bronn became quite an interesting character and plenty of these characters take on minds of their own. They push to the front till you [?] speech and you think of a cool line and you give it to Bronn because he’s trying to talk, and now Bronn is somebody who says something cool. [?]. That’s how characters grow on you. “So a lot of the minor characters I’m still discovering along the way. But the mains-”

[question if he knows Arya’s and Jon’s fates]

“Tyrion, Arya, Jon, Sansa, you know, all of the Stark kids, and the major Lannisters, yeah.”

This report appears in the following sources:

fattest leech of ice and fire blog [Source 1]

asoiaf.westeros.org [Source 2]

westeros.org [Source 3]

Thanks for the question.

#anon ask #grrm #jon and arya

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natsspammityspamspamham · 4 years ago

Text

Anime That Deserve Another Season

Category One: Anime That Supposedly Deserve Another Season Even though the title says “deserve”, I will be listing some anime that I do not think deserve another season. They’re just here because people are loud about not getting another season. These are mostly series I just didn’t enjoy watching.

Category Two: Anime That Can Get Another Season They’re fine without another season as there are no cliffhangers to close and no questions that are really unanswered. These anime will not keep you up at night asking for an answer.

Category Three: Anime That Need Another Season While it’s not mandatory that these anime have another season to be enjoyed, they’d sure benefit immensely with it. Whether it’s because there’s too many cliffhangers, things end abruptly, or there is just too much good source material that was left untouched, they’ll end up here. Even if I didn’t really enjoy the anime, some anime may end up here anyway.

Bonus Category: Anime Need a Reboot Not all adaptations are created equal, and even if the anime can be enjoyed on its own, sometimes it’d benefit from actually looking at the source material and going, “Oh, it was written that way for a reason!” Some anime just need the Brotherhood treatment. From pacing to anime-exclusive storylines, anime in this category stray so much that you might as well just start from the ground up.

*Please note that if an anime isn’t here, it might be because I haven’t watched it (or I bypassed it in my listing journey)

*Categories Two and One are listed from “Bottom Tier” to “Top Tier” in terms of how much I think it needs a sequel/continuation

*I almost never read the manga. These are mostly speculations/me spoiling the series for myself by reading the last chapter of the manga after finishing the anime.

*The bottom half of category three really rips my soul out when people say that there’s no chance of another season.

Category One: Anime That Supposedly Deserve Another Season

Aoharu x Machinegun

The manga is still on-going, but I wasn’t interested enough to really pay any mind. It would benefit from another season due to it ending on a point that made sense, but you could tell there was way more behind the curtain.

Btooom

Remember when they joked about this gross anime getting another season? Hahaha! There’s a story behind it, apparently. Anyway, it leaves off unfinished, but I don’t need any more of whatever this show was. This show is garbage, questionable garbage at that.

Ao Haru Ride

This anime made me kinda bored. The characters were kind of bland. The world was kind of bland. This anime left as much of an impression on me as white-coloured pencils did in grade school. I’m sure it’d benefit from another season, but whether that’d actually make me like the series is another question.

Code: Breaker

This series was pretty bad. I enjoyed it at the time, but it was pretty bad. I don’t recommend this show to anyone. It technically has a ton of manga material left (I think it was a 100+ chapters?)

Classroom of the Elite

I actually strongly disliked this show and wanted it to be over, but people said it got good. I stuck it out. I didn’t like any of the characters. I couldn’t find a reason to enjoy this show, and maybe it’d benefit by having some more story content to it, but if you can’t make me enjoy any of the cast after 12 episodes, you’re not getting any more of my time.

No Game No Life

Admit it, 90% of the people who want another season of this just want to see more fanservice.

Category Two: Anime That Can Get Another Season

Kyoukai no Rinne

This series is very repetitive. I’m surprised it survived three seasons. I still really liked it, but it is counted as one of Takahashi’s weakest works (not sure why though). I would mind seeing it receiving the rest of its adaptation.

Hai to Gensou no Grimgar

While it ended well, it probably has a lot more story to tell. This is an earlier isekai, and it’s hard to say whether it’d do better in today’s isekai market. This anime is what Sword Art Online should’ve been. This show takes it slow. Its action isn’t as over-the-top, and while it has fanservice, the show still feels far more real than SAO markets itself to be (but it does it on purpose)

Hinamatsuri

This anime made me laugh too hard for me not to want a continuation. They also had a character they didn’t have time to touch base on.

Runway de Waratte

There’s quite a lot of manga material to go on. I feel like we haven’t seen the characters develop to their max, and the protagonist hasn’t even gotten his full shot yet. This anime is an underdog, no matter how you look at it, it’s a shounen series about runway fashion, but I’m rooting for it!

Yamada-kun to 7-nin no Majo

I hear the manga goes downhill, and honestly, you could’ve just let it end right where season one ended, and I would’ve gone, “Wow, that was pretty good!” It did come back and “overstay its welcome” according to manga readers, but those final chapters make up for that.

Gakkougurashi

I respect the way that this anime decided to end, but there’s a lot of potential to take it elsewhere. It has a lot of material too. I feel like not a lot of the backstories of even the main cast were revealed.

Category Three: Anime That Need Another Season

Kimi to Boku

I had a hard time determining which category this anime should go under, but I think this category fits it best. The manga does pause sometimes. There are a lot of loose ends romance-wise, but it could’ve easily gone into the previous category.

D-Frag

This is a romance anime that didn’t really get to any of its romance. It hinted, it tried, but it stuck to the comedy route (which I respect). However, there is a lot of potential if this anime ever did want to return.

Hataraku Maou-Sama

This series really needs a season two. It was an isekai before its time, and it has a lot of comedy that made me laugh. There are romance ends that are left up, and the underlying background plot went virtually nowhere. It ended, and it makes the audience go, “That was good and enjoyable”, but it leaves nothing else.

Mob Psycho 100

I’m pretty sure this anime will get another season, but it will take some time. This series does have the popularity, and since it was quite recent, I think it’s just a matter of time. Studio Bones is far too thirsty to leave their man alone. Let’s be real.

Ranma ½

I think what bothers me the most about this one is the fact that they had the right number of episodes to finish the series, but because the manga was still publishing at the time, they had to use a lot of filler which ultimately took away from a lot of the series. The Ranma manga ending had about as closed of an ending that you can have for a series like Ranma. There are some arcs in there that I think would boost the story after a lot of those OVAs left an unsatisfied taste in people’s mouths. I didn’t even bother watching those.

Nisekoi

I’m not sure if I would want an adaptation if it were to happen because I don’t like the ending anyway. There is material there though if they wanted to, and I do think it’s a bit annoying if you focus so heavily on romance and harem then just don’t end it conclusively.

Grand Blue

According to someone I know, the manga gets good. This anime was really funny during some of the parts, so I really wouldn’t mind a continuation.

Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun

This manga actually did end, and I feel like it’s really missing out by not finishing itself. Shoujo manga and other romance manga do rely on having the characters graduate, get together, etc. Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun didn’t get that chance, and since the manga has a more conclusive ending, I think the anime should too.

Tsurezure Children

This anime focuses on everything so ends up with little progression in the long run. A lot of this is puppy love, but we never really move beyond that stage with the countless couples. I think this anime would greatly benefit with a continuation because it got so little done than series that focused on one couple. Focusing on multiple couples is part of this series’ charms though.

Yuri on Ice

I personally don’t feel a strong need for a season two, but I’m sure a lot of people would enjoy it because it has a large audience that are attached to these characters. They weren’t at their final stage yet.

Edit: They just announced a continuation called “Yuri!!! on Ice The Movie: Ice Adolescence”

Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun

The manga just hit a really pivotal point at the time that I’m writing this post, but the manga usually publishes monthly leaving it little room for successive seasons. Regardless, I feel that the series has more than enough popularity to carry it, and despite some of the real big corners that were cut during the making of the first season, people are still invested. I actually read the manga and can say that it has enough material for a second season.

Wotakoi

I actually read the manga for this series sometimes, and let me tell you, this series REALLY SHOULD GET a continuation. Sure, it’s sweet that you know who ends up with who, but this series is about “mature romance” (i.e. beyond high school). 12 episodes isn’t enough for this series. There’s so much awesome stuff that’s happened and is happening in the manga.

Deadman Wonderland

This anime isn’t great by any means. It’s a gore fest. However, a lot of its plot holes and questions could’ve been answered if it went further in its source material. I’m not sure how much it would’ve made it make sense, but this anime is one of the ones here that really suffered from their lack of time to adapt the manga. Without some of the explanations, this series may little sense. I don’t really want another season simply because I didn’t really enjoy this anime, but I think I put it up here just because of how much it would benefit from a continuation.

Ouran High School Host Club

Legend has it that every April Fool’s Day, someone goes on Twitter and announces season two. As much as we’d want that, Studio Bones is busy doing something to do with Bungou Stray Dogs or My Hero Academia. I already had to debunk a fake Ouran Season Two post for someone on Discord. I didn’t really enjoy the romance in Ouran (stayed for the comedy), so it would probably benefit from a continuation, even if it is a reboot. I mostly put this one here because of how much fans want it. Personally, I’d still be able to rest in peace either way. Regardless, it woudl still benefit immensely if they were to continue what they started.

Kekkaishi

This anime actually left 200+ chapters of manga untouched when it was adapting. I’m not sure of timelines and whether it was because of the manga publishing at the time that the anime was airing. Now that it’s a finished series in terms of manga, it can always get a reboot. It’s definitely worth it since it just finished on one arc.

Akatsuki no Yona

To me, Akatsuki no Yona was okay, but it could’ve been great... if they didn’t end on literally what the entire series was building up to. As a result of that, the anime really feels like a long manga advertisement going, “Wow, you sure are stupid for not reading the manga like the rest of us nerds!” The only reason why this series isn’t even higher on the list is because the other series did a better job cementing itself into a place in my heart. Akatsuki no Yona could’ve done that if they were given enough time, but alas, this series really suffers from a lack of anime adaptation.

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun

It is such a shame that this anime doesn’t have another season. The OVAs are great, but if this had another season or two, they would be legendary. The voice actors really added to the comedy (the manga is still funny, but it’s didn’t make me laugh as much as the anime). The quirky soundtrack really adds to the atmosphere, and there’s so much development that’s gone down since its first season run. I really, really, really want another season. But this anime can be enjoyed even if it doesn’t.

Gin no Saji

This anime is incredibly enjoyable even if it doesn’t have a third season, but with the manga tying up all the loose ends with Hiromu Arakawa’s incredible storytelling, I find it really disappointing that they couldn’t get another season for this. Its characters were so likeable. I watched this anime with my mom who keeps nattering about a season three. If only such a thing were to exist.

Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic

As with a lot of shounen anime, this ended on one arc. However, this still had well over 100+ chapters that could’ve been adapted in series to come. The seiyuu events were hilarious, and this anime really hit its stride, but it left us all hanging. Now that the manga’s finished, I feel that it would be really great if we were to get another season. There were some arcs that I read that were so good. This was the first anime I watched, and it always holds a special place in my soul. I do hear the manga goes downhill majorly towards the end, but I’m sure that even that stuff would still be watched by people like me (heck, people waited for Black Clover to get good, come on!)

This also includes the Sinbad spinoff that felt more like a trailer rather than a full series. It wasn’t given nearly enough time.

Noragami

Noragami is extremely popular, and I think one of the reasons that it didn’t get the rest adapted is because the manga went on hiatus for about a year. However, I feel that it still had more than enough material to make some more way. Studio Bones is still busy with Bungou Stray Dogs and My Hero Academia, but Noragami would benefit by cleaning up some of the cliffhangers left behind. The future arcs are also really good, so the source material at least maintains some quality.

SKET Dance

I finished this series (both anime and manga) a couple of days ago, and I want to write a post about it. It was so good. It made me read 100 chapters in two days or something. But if this were to get adapted, this would give the series a MAJOR CHANCE to fix up the ending. Unfortunately, the manga ending disappointed a lot of people (including me), so being able to maybe just give the people what they want (I don’t care if it’s cheesy). They left a good chunk of great, hilarious, and touching arcs that would be able to keep toe-to-toe with the fantastic series they’ve done up to this point. I think it might’ve stopped due to the anime catching up, but come on, I just want this anime to get equal treatment to Gintama!!! It gets compared so often anyway!!! Series like these make me think, “If I was Jeff Bezos, I would just throw my money into making another season of this.” The seiyuu of this anime made the lines so funny too. I will be thinking and talking about this series for a while.

Anime that Deserve a Reboot

Soul Eater

They really just dropped the source material in the last half.

No. 6

The pacing kind of sucked in comparison to other materials, apparently.

Kids on the Slope

The pacing for this also really sucked and didn’t give a conclusive ending either way.

#anime #sket dance #noragami #ouran koukou host club #magi: the labyrinth of magic #Jibaku Shounen Hanako kun #gin no saji #gekkan shoujo nozaki-kun #mob psycho 100 #deadman wonderland #yuri on ice

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recentanimenews · 4 years ago

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FEATURE: The 4 Biggest Differences Between Raising Pokémon And Digimon As Pets

This article written by Daniel Dockery was originally published on August 2, 2019

Sometimes, visiting your childhood home can be like an archaeological excavation. You sift through the eras of your life, some embarrassing (Why did I own so many tropical print shirts? Why did I spend middle school dressed like a sixty-five-year-old dude vacationing in Beaufort, South Carolina?), and some baffling (What was I planning to do with all of those commemorative state quarters?). But sometimes, you find things that you immediately want to take back to the present with you. In my case, it was all of the little Pokémon stuff that I amassed as a kid: The KFC stuffed toys from the commercial that revealed that Colonel Sanders chose the Blue version ...

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... The many trading cards, the "How To Draw Pokémon" book from the book fair that I'd trace over and then tell all of my one friends that I drew it on my own, the falling apart Pokémon Red/Blue Prima strategy guide where the writer revealed in the first paragraph that Pokémon was consuming his life in a way that he never thought possible ...

... And the Pikachu, Charmander, and Meowth electronic toys that I got for Christmas one year, the first two saying their names and the last one speaking Japanese, which baffled me as a kid because I didn't know what anime was. But most importantly, I found the Pokémon Pikachu Virtual Pet, a little yellow device that's shaped to look like a Game Boy. And inside of it is a Pikachu that you can walk with and give gifts to. And after a quick battery replacement, I found that it still worked.

It was fate. Because, later this year, I also discovered the twentieth-anniversary release of the Digimon Digivice Virtual Pets in a Gamestop. So, because I'd only ever raised Digimon in the video games and am terrible with money, I bought one. And now I have two tiny monsters that I can take care of. Why hang out with other people when I've got all the companionship I need right here:

But I soon learned that there is a BIG difference between raising Pokémon and raising Digimon. For example ...

YOU DON'T WANT TO MAKE PIKACHU MAD

Back in its early days, you could count on one thing with Pokémon: Pikachu HATES you. Sure, eventually you'll earn its respect through battling or risking your life for it, but at the beginning of the anime and in the Pokémon Yellow game, Pikachu begins its journey hoping that maybe you'll just release it or get lost and starve to death in Viridian Forest. That's one of the reasons why Pokémon: Let's Go was such an odd experience sometimes: Pikachu just unconditionally and immediately accepts you as soon as it meets you. It's the only time you'll ever hear me complain about "kids these days" having it too easy. Ugh, Generation Z with their TikTok and their memes and their Pokémon that LIKE them.

Luckily for me, I got the Pikachu of the late '90s in my virtual pet. Unluckily for me, Pikachu was very aware that I had not played with it since the Clinton Administration, and it was pissed. See, the Pokémon Pikachu also doubles as a pedometer which counts your steps. So while everyone else is wearing their FitBit, I'm rocking a Pikachu that absolutely can't stand me on my hip. But the more you step, the more points you can acquire. And you give those points to Pikachu as gifts, and Pikachu will do a little dance and grow more pleased with you. As it turns out, though, no matter how many points I amass on the treadmill, it probably won't make up for the two decades that my Pikachu spent in a desk drawer.

Currently, it's got its back to me, which means that at least it's on the screen (It can actually leave you, forcing you to restart or hide from you). Meanwhile, my Agumon in the Digivice is much less fickle. It's pretty content as long as I feed it and train it and make sure that its battles don't kill it. Oh, and it likes it a lot when you pick up its poop. And it should, because ...

DIGIMON ARE ALWAYS POOPING

A common feature of virtual pets is that you have to clean their droppings. It provides a cool life lesson for kids, teaching them to not take dumps on the floor all the time. But I did not know that Agumon, my sweet, simple lizard bro, would just crap, like, so much, y'all. I mean, all it eats is meat on the bone and protein vitamins, so it's not like it's getting too much fiber in its diet. It's pretty keto. But every time I switch it on to see if it's okay or has evolved, it's been pushed to the side of the little screen because its own habitat just can't handle how much it's pooping.

Meanwhile, Pikachu doesn't really go to the bathroom. It does have a bathroom though, as after it eats dinner and before it goes to bed (there's cute little animations for each), it brushes its teeth. So unless it's like one of those tiny NYC studio apartments where the landlord's like "Ya got a bed and a sink, so good luck with your butt," Pikachu does own a toilet.

So that's nice to note: Pokémon will clean up their business after they're done. Digimon will look to you and say "I have pooped four times. The walls are closing in. Help me, father."

PIKACHU IS WAY MORE STUBBORN WITH SCHEDULING

Pikachu has a bit of a Type A personality — it likes its routine. Usually, in the middle of the day, if you shake the device, Pikachu will come marching in or sometimes ride a little scooter onto the screen. But if Pikachu is doing something, like eating or sleeping, shaking the device actually makes Pikachu less friendly toward you. You have to wait for Pikachu to finish its food before it even considers going on a walk with you.

Meanwhile, if you're like "Go back to bed, Agumon, you've been awake for four seconds," Agumon will do it. If you want to wake Agumon up to train for battle a dozen times, it's ready at all hours of the day. In fact, one of the only things that a Digimon isn't up for is that it won't eat anymore after it's full. After you've filled it with mutton and pills, it shakes its head "No," at which point you probably switch over to training with it for another hour.

DIGIMON HAS A TON OF HIDDEN INTRICACIES

One of my favorite things about Digimon games is their intricate approach to evolution. Sure, you could digivolve Dogmon now into BigDogmon. But, if you raise the friendship stat a bit, and level up some more, you could digivolve Dogmon into BigDogWithCannonsmon. I think it's awesome, and it carries over to the virtual pets.

However, because they're virtual pets and showing more than three letters on the screen at one time would cause the device to explode, you don't get a lot of explanation as to how to do it. Like, my current Agumon could evolve into the classic Greymon, or, according to the Digimon wiki, one of six other monsters. So I could get a Seadramon, but because I haven't been taking notes, I will never know how.

Meanwhile, Pikachu is perfectly content with being Pikachu and with being flippant with you. You'll never have to worry about finding a Thunder Stone or learning that it's been replaced with a Koffing or something. Instead, all you have to worry about is your best friend suddenly starting to hate you out of nowhere.

And that's ... better?

Did you ever own either of these virtual pets? Let us know in the comments!

Daniel Dockery is a writer and editor for Crunchyroll. You should follow him on Twitter!

By: Guest Author

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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loustyleshtommo · 4 years ago

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I’m so confused about your loutay post 😅 How exactly do you think they’re connected? I think I’m too dumb to understand it hahaha

Oh I think Taylor told 1D boys what she wished she could’ve done in term of dealing with label. I’d like to believe that Haylor wasn’t just all PR stunt and heartache. So, imagine, 2 hours holding hands in Central Park for pap pics and 2 days of talking shops with lawyers on ‘‘ski trip” etc.

Their timeline seems to imply that the partnership between Simon and Sony was rigged. Taylor sings about this “Honey, life is just a classroom” + “The whole school is rolling fake dice. You play stupid game, you win stupid prizes.”

What Taylor has always wanted is for artists to own their music. Big Machine got her Masters. She wasn’t just going to let Syco do the same to 1D boys. Or any other newer artists, really.

Fandoms might’ve been focusing on the Big Gay War. But Louis was fighting for something much bigger.

Why do you think WALLS got sabotaged so much when good promo would’ve given Syco more money?

When Louis re-signed with Syco for his solo debut album—his 6th studio album if we count One Direction discography—he has a system of production company and publishing company in place. Syco only gets distribution rights. They don’t get to touch his masters.

So the bottom line of New Deal between Simon and Sony says when WALLS do well, the money never would’ve reached Simon’s wallet—Syco Holdings. It’d go to Sony—Syco Entertainment.

Taylor re-signed with Sony before she released her 6th studio album reputation.

Media made us think she went mad because of her feud with Kim-Kanye.

But in her Lover era, she called out the actual villain and exposed Big Machine for holding her masters hostage.

Then she re-recorded her old songs to make new masters and she is releasing them with Universal, drastically devaluing the “old copies” that Big Machine has.

When I listen to her music, it screams “I SURVIVED”

It’s the plot of Louis’s We Made It: Director’s Cut

I remembered the track number for Two of Us wrong. It’s Track 3. Louis promised his mom “Swear I’m gonna make you proud” in track 3.

Then in Track 9 Fearless which is also the name of Taylor’s first re-recorded masters album, Louis closes the song with a recorded voice of himself when he was very young (around seven years old maybe?), ferociously screaming, “MOM, I DID IT!”

Many people focused on Habit “Princess Park” and Big Gay War.

I, for one, believe with all my heart that Louis did it all for his mom.

Because she told him before she passed when he asked her what he was supposed to do with the Just Hold On debut performance.

“You just gotta ******* do it”

And according to Louis in that same interview, Jay wasn’t the kind to swear—Football coach style.

Taylor started swearing in her songs once she started writing with William Bowery. But that’s a clown theory for another time.

So my LouTay bottom line says their End Game has always been:

No Radio, No Major Label. Yet here we are.

(It’s not something anyone can do alone. I don’t even know if Beyoncé has been the one to pilot “production company & publishing company” against Distribution Rights. But I got interested in this entire circus because I saw a probable connection between my favourite singers/songwriters. So I ran with #LouTay even if so many characters are involved)

BUT all this is just a theory. A clown theory.

I hope this is more coherent.

- Del 💖💖

#loutay #louis tomlinson #Taylor Swift #the whole world’s a stage #my favourite drama Queen #Harry Styles #thank you for providing Fine Line in chronological order #and on T-Swift HBD #the way my brain works #louaylor

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lycorogue · 4 years ago

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Perfect Doesn’t Need to be Perfect: Chapter 6

Sorry for the delay on this, folks. Yesterday was my first day all week that I was supposed to have some free time, and I had every intension of publishing then. Ironically, instead of editing and publishing this chapter, I got engrossed in my game of Untitled Goose Game. Guess I just needed to get into the head of these geese.... Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and that having a double-chapter update again can help appease. ^_^

Oh, also, I nearly forgot, I did have to tweak the canon timing on this chapter. Taurus Pixie had this chapter at night. However, birds lay in the morning, and both frost and fog are more likely to happen hours after sunset and end just as the sun is coming up. Sooooo, this chapter is more-or-less first thing in the morning now.

**Contains Spoilers for Taurus Pixie’s story Twelve Days of Chatmas**

Summary: Chat Noir has run into a long streak of poor luck, all in an attempt to give Ladybug the perfect Christmas gift. Little does he know, his first try was already perfect in Ladybug’s eyes. Now it’s her turn to try to navigate around Chat Noir’s failed attempts in her own pursuit to find something equally fantastic for him. **A Switched-POV Unofficial Companion Story to Twelve Days of Chatmas by @thetauruspixie**

Rating: General Audience

Chapter Word Count: 2941

Story Total Word Count: 37,973

Status: chapter 6 of 12; complete

**For reals, if you haven’t read Twelve Days of Chatmas yet, read that first so my story doesn’t spoil anything for you. It’s cool. This story will still be here when you get back. ;) **

See below for chapter 6, or find this story over on AO3, on FFN, or on DA.

CHAPTER 6:

Marinette woke up drained from her long night envisioning who Adrien could have bought the rings for. She couldn't even look at her board of Adrien pictures when she woke up. She also took down the ones that lined the walls above her desk. She just couldn't stand seeing his smile at that moment; wondering who was making him smile like that.

“Marinette, are you sure you're not over-reacting?” Tikki awkwardly glanced at the stack of Adrien photos in Marinette's hand. “How do you know Adrien didn't buy those rings for each of his friends or for Nathalie? Do they have to have been bought for someone he was in love with?” Her voice suggested she already knew the answer.

“You don't buy your friends expensive jewelry like that.” Marinette opened one of her drawers and threw the pictures inside before slamming the drawer back closed.

“Marinette-”

“Never mind, Tikki, I-” Marinette's eyes landed on the pear tree Chat Noir had made for her. She again ran her fingers over the little bird in the branches. “I need to figure out a gift for Chat Noir. I can't be thinking about Adrien right now.”

She stormed to the presents she had delicately pulled from her trunk the day before, scooped them up, and dropped them back into their hiding place.

“So you're not going with the blanket idea after all?”

“Maybe some other time, but I think, after everything he's been through this week, he needs something better than just a blanket.”

“I think he'd really appreciate the blanket, Marinette. It's the thought that counts, and I think the thought would really mean a lot to him.”

Marinette shook her head and plopped onto her chaise lounge. “No. As far as he'll know, I just bought him a blanket. That won't be enough.”

“You can't tell him that you made it?”

“I can't chance that. He knows Marinette, at least a little bit, and he knows that Marinette is a seamstress. What if he somehow pieces together that I'm Ladybug after Ladybug tells him she made a blanket for him?”

Marinette grabbed her throw pillow and pulled it over her face so she could scream in it. She was back at zero. She had already exhausted so many gift ideas, she wasn't sure she could think of an appropriate one for her partner in time. This Christmas was turning into a disaster.

“I know you'll think of something amazing, Marinette. Besides, I'm positive anything from you will make him happy.”

“Thanks, Tikki.”

Bundling up, Marinette climbed onto her balcony and just took in Paris as it spread out around her. The sky was again dark and heavy with clouds. The thin light of the rising sun barely cut through the fog that was rolling in off the Seine. The City of Lights was an oddly calming gray all around her.

The school made her think of Adrien, so she quickly turned her back to it, seeing instead the Place de Vosges. Frost had painted the grass an unblemished white, and accented the bare tree branches. The fountains were turned off so they wouldn't freeze. The carousel was the only bit of color in the entire park.

Marinette took in the peaceful quiet of the square and the sleepy Paris around it.

“That's it!” As Marinette's eyes drifted towards the southern entrance of the park they widened and she quickly turned towards Tikki. “I think I've figured out my gift! The artist that made the Ladybug and Chat Noir statue, Théo! Chat Noir made me his statue, so what if I try to commission Théo to make a small Chat Noir figurine? Chat Noir will know how much he means to me when I give it to him, he can pass it off as a fan just wanting a statuette of a superhero if he displays it, and I'll never see it on display, so it won't reveal who he is to me! This is perfect!”

“I knew you'd figure it out, Marinette!”

Marinette checked her phone. “I have about twenty minutes before Chat Noir and I do our Saturday morning patrol. It'll be close, but I should have enough time. Tikki, spots on!” Marinette gleefully became Ladybug and leapt onto the next roof as she began her sprint towards Théo's studio, hoping he'd be there.

“Hey, Bugaboo!”

Ladybug stumbled as she skidded to a halt on one of the rooftops. What is he doing here? How am I going to get to Théo now?

Chat Noir skidded to a stop beside her, clearly in full-sprint himself before he caught her attention.

“C-Chat Noir? What are you doing out and about?”

He gave a pleasant chuckle, clearly in much better spirits than he had been since the disaster with his pear tree statue. “I might ask you the same question.”

They weren't supposed to meet up for another fifteen minutes, easily, and she normally could cross the whole of Paris in less time. There really wasn't any reason for her to already be powered up for their patrol meet-up.

She glanced towards Théo's studio, hoping to come up with an excuse to get away from Chat Noir and meet up with him at nine, as they planned.

“I-I had some stuff to do.” It was a terrible answer, but she hoped he'd shoo her on her way.

“It's okay, you don't have to tell me.” Chat Noir gave her a knowing smile. Did he figure out that she was trying to get a present from him? “But what you do have to do is put this on and come with me.” His smile grew into a playful smirk as he pulled out a blindfold he had tucked under his belt.

“A blindfold?” Ladybug wasn't sure where he was going with this, or if she wanted to know. Plus, she still had to get to Théo to try to commission him.

Noticing her unease, Chat Noir softened and gave her a warmer, more welcoming smile. That “you trust me, right?” look.

“Don't worry, it'll all make sense soon.” There was a slight plea to his voice. Ladybug knew she couldn't turn him down. He needed this. He needed her to trust him and literally follow him blindly.

“What are you up to?” She pursed her lips in an attempt to not smile herself. Chat Noir seemed so vulnerable at that moment, even when he was the one holding out the blindfold. He was actually kind of cute, and she knew she would follow him regardless.

Chat Noir gave the most campy, villainous laugh Ladybug had ever heard, and he mimed twirling a mustache. “If I told you, then it wouldn't be a surprise.” He then took hold of Ladybug's wrist, and gently tugged her closer to him. When she relented, he twirled her around so he could tie the blindfold over her eyes.

“There isn't going to be any shrieking birds this time, is there?” Ladybug said it jokingly, but she also winced slightly at the memory of those piercing notes, and then winced again upon realizing how cruel that must have sounded to Chat Noir.

“No,” Chat Noir gave a nervous laugh, “cat's honor.”

Ladybug turned to face him, hoping he was still where his voice came from, and gave a soft nod. “How am I going to get wherever it is you want to take me-?” She squealed out the last word as she suddenly got scooped up into a bridal carry. Flailing around for some sort of purchase, she landed on Chat Noir's shoulders. She then moved to take off the blindfold in order to give him a proper scolding for not warning her. She got as far as tucking her thumb under the blindfold before she felt her legs rest on Chat Noir's knee, and his hand on top of hers.

“Trust me.” There was that plead in his voice again. She did trust him. With her life. She knew full well that he'd never let her fall, and even if she did, he'd be there to catch her before she got hurt.

Even if she fell, he'd catch her before she got hurt. The thought echoed in her mind, and she wasn't sure why it struck such a chord with her all of a sudden.

Shifting her focus back to the present, she slowly lowered her hand from the blindfold, completely relenting to her partner. He had done this before, quite a few times, actually, back when she had no powers to save her. If she could trust him as Marinette, how could she possibly not trust him as Ladybug?

He even held her the same way he did that night he showed her the rooftop picnic he had set up for Ladybug. She felt his warmth through the suit the same way; smelt his scent coming off his collar. He was gentle with her, just as he was with Marinette, his arms wrapping protectively around her. As she nestled onto his chest, she almost forgot she wasn't Marinette in his eyes.

He ran for quite some time. The sounds of Paris waking up and enjoying the chilled morning fell away behind them. Instead, she heard the bird chirps, dog barks, and cheerful children's laughter that made her suspect they were in the suburbs of Paris. Chat Noir ran less, and jumped a lot more. They were certainly not in the tightly packed city, and Ladybug's stomach hopped whenever Chat Noir did. She gripped him tighter, her head finding that nook where his shoulder and neck meet.

Another few minutes, and the sounds of a morning suburb also washed away. Ducks loudly honked at each other. There was loud rustling of Chat Noir landing in treetops. Birds loudly chirped out warnings about the cat-themed superhero leaping through their homes. Then there were cars buzzing below them before the sounds of nature returned. Ladybug was completely lost as to where they were going.

Finally, they reached their destination. Everything was soft and still. Birds sang in the distance, but almost too soft to hear. There was water nearby that gently splashed from something disturbing the surface. Ladybug could not place at all where Chat Noir had taken her.

It had been a few minutes since Chat Noir had scooped her up, so when he placed Ladybug back on her legs she was a touch wobbly for a couple seconds. He caught hold of her arms and helped steady her, but she still faceplanted straight into his chest. Bolting upright, she blushed at how clumsy she just was. She also couldn't help but picture Chat Noir as Adrien, catching her as Marinette, like he has done so many times before. Her blush deepened as she felt the heat leak to her ears.

She was Ladybug though. Right then she was a superhero. She got her bearing, rolled her shoulders, and regained her balance. A couple seconds later – probably after Chat Noir was convinced she was steady – she heard him walk around her, and then the blindfold slowly dropped so she could take in her surprise slowly.

Despite herself, she gasped. They were in a completely secluded park, or it may have been an actual forest clearing. She couldn't be entirely sure. Aside from the green surrounding the small lake to her right, the rest of the horizon was lined by trees. Wherever she looked, there was just a wall of trees hiding them from the rest of the world. Creeping up to the lake was a line of frosted weeping willows with limbs draping to the ground in thick crystallized curtains. Long reeds reached out from the lake, creating a fence as if fending the water from the encroaching trees. A fog was still surrounding the lake, leaving everything in a slight haze.

It was like a dream or a painting. It was one of the most beautiful things Ladybug had ever seen.

Smiling back at her, Chat Noir moved to one of the larger weeping willows, and shifted the boughs with little icicle chimes. Hidden against the tree's trunk was a large picnic blanket lined by candles, and a basket with a large flask in the center of the blanket. Ladybug wasn't sure how she felt about Chat Noir leaving lit candles alone on a blanket and hidden near a tree, but the gesture was sweet and the picnic was inviting and cozy.

“Chat-” Ladybug sighed. There was no other response. Everything was just so gorgeous she thought she could cry.

Chat Noir jogged back to her to take her hands. They each took one step towards the tree when they were startled by a loud hiss.

They turned towards the lake, and a very angry looking white goose briefly stood up in its nest, making it look as big as it could, before resettling onto her clutch of eggs.

“Oh!” Ladybug stared at the goose, who was staring her down as well. “Um, maybe we should-”

Ladybug and Chat Noir took a step back, but clearly not fast enough or far enough for the goose. She hissed again at them, and it almost made Ladybug chuckle at how much it sounded like an angry cat hissing. She nearly told Chat Noir to just start hissing back to show dominance.

Taking another small sidestep, Ladybug turned back towards Chat Noir. She smiled at him, trying to ignore the goose and instead focus on this beautiful picnic he had set out for them. He was fixated on the goose, however, and his eyes kept darting cautiously back to it.

Ladybug cupped Chat Noir's cheek and silently directed him to look only at her. Maybe ignoring the goose would let it know they weren't intending to disturb it.

“Aww, Chat Noir, you really didn't have to-”

The goose hissed again. Louder. We moved away from you! What more do you want? Ladybug wanted to demand of the bird.

Chat Noir's attention was fully on the water fowl, and Ladybug turned to glare at it. However, her eyes instead drifted to the tall reeds shaking on either side of the nesting goose. Like a police squad, five more geese emerged from the lake and instantly joined in with hissing at the two superheroes.

The second the new geese joined in the chorus of hissing, Chat Noir darted behind Ladybug, using her as a shield as he peeked past her shoulder. Ladybug couldn't help but giggle at this superhero being so terrified by six harmless geese after they've combated far more dangerous akumatized villains time and time again. She couldn't even justify it as him trying to get away from his feather allergy since he certainly didn't hide behind her when they were fighting Mr. Pigeon, or the Liberator with the chickens earlier that week.

“It's okay, Kitty, they're just geese.”

“More like devils with wings!” Chat Noir actually did hiss back at the birds as he began backing away and tugging Ladybug along with him.

“Devils with wings?” Ladybug laughed. “Seriously, Chat-”

One of the geese loudly honked a charge cry, and all five of the protecting geese lurched forward. They noisily honked and hissed, their wings flapping angrily in a shooing motion, as they chased after the teens.

Ladybug and Chat Noir leapt back to give the geese more berth. “Okay,” Ladybug admitted with a shaky voice, “yeah, they are kinda scary.”

One of the geese lunged for her ankle, causing Ladybug to scream as she pushed back against Chat Noir to avoid the bite. She didn't realize geese had teeth on their tongues! Birds weren't supposed to have teeth at all, but on their tongue of all places?

Chat Noir screamed as well and pulled Ladybug tight as she moved away from the goose. They rushed further from the lake, never taking their eyes off the geese; hoping the fowl will believe they drove the superheroes far enough from the nesting mom and will give up their pursuit.

Instead, their retreat must have seemed even more threatening somehow, and the geese quickened their charge.

The loud scream from both Ladybug and Chat Noir echoed throughout the otherwise abandoned park, and the two sprinted as far away from the lake as they could, the geese relentlessly hunting them down. There was nothing for Ladybug to swing from. All of the weeping willow limbs were too weak to hold them.

“This way!” Chat Noir wrapped his arm around Ladybug's waist and extended his stick to vault them into the air and away from the secluded lake.

Ladybug's heart broke a little for Chat Noir. First he felt his sculpture for her wasn't good enough, and then the fiasco with the squawking birds, and now his picnic being ruined? Not to mention the hens. He truly did have poor luck with birds, didn't he?

He deserves the best gift ever. Ladybug thought as she wrapped her arms around Chat Noir's neck, letting him lead them back to the city proper. Something way better than a statuette.

Ladybug spent the rest of the morning pondering two things: what she could get Chat Noir that would at least be on par with all the effort he had been putting into his gift to her, and how anyone was going to get past the deranged geese to blow out the candles and pick up the picnic. She hoped both would be settled easily enough.

Thank you for reading. Read Next Chapter

Read from the beginning: Chapter 1

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@discoveringmiraculouswriters

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miracul0us-multishipper · 5 years ago

Text

Welcome to the back (Part 15)

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

- - -

Adrien had never felt this afraid. He‘d been in this building countless times before, as both Adrien and Chat Noir, but he’d either been guided or had simply followed his Lady’s lead. Now he wished he’d paid more attention to the the layout of the building.

He had reached the main studio a minute after the ads had started - this place was a maze! - just to find all his friends gone already. A confirmation of his worst fears. They were up to something!

He had to find Lila! She could get them out of this mess, she knew how to talk her way to safety. If she were to be exposed... Earlier that week, it had only been their class’s harmony that had been at stake.

Now, she would take Adrien down with her. What had he been thinking? Why had he helped her, why had he lied for her? He’d only made everything worse! Damnit, Marinette had been right. This was his own fault- Marinette!

His thoughts returned to their encounter earlier, and he ran even faster, searching for the others. He needed to find her. How she had gotten her hands on his Miraculous, he didn’t know, but the fact it was inactive and on a string meant that she wasn’t using it - yet. Maybe she was simply waiting for the right time to steal his place. He growled and ripped another door open, revealing the room behind it to be empty.

Marinette wasn’t fit to be Chat Noir. She didn’t have what it took to be Ladybug’s partner, and she hadn’t deserved his miraculous like he did! He would convince her to give it back. Marinette wasn’t unreasonable, she’d understand. And she had liked him, Lila had told him once. Maybe if he promised to be a better friend now, maybe even go out together, she’d realize this was his destiny.

His thoughts began to spiral down a slippery slope. He needed Plagg, needed his miraculous. He’d do everything that was necessary, for Paris’ sake, for Ladybug’s sake!

But no need to do something rash, he’d try it the nice way!

Adrien knew this would work.

Adrien knew that it had to.

Adrien-

“...really is a bitch.”, a familiar, although muffled voice declared from somewhere in front of him. Felix! With his last bit of strength, Adrien pushed the doors to Jagged Stone’s studio open. His eyes widened when he saw what had happened.

He was... too late.

Lila stood in the middle of the room, together with Felix and a man he didn’t recognize, even though he looked vaguely familiar. She was frozen in fear, and she had every right to. There were cameras pointed at her from every side, and her classmates stood at the walls like angry bulls. Jagged Stone was patting a smugly grinning Marinette on the shoulder, and Nadja Chamack held a microphone out to the unknown man.

“This is Nadja Chamack, life from the TV tower, 21st arrondissement!”, she almost screamed into her microphone in excitement. “We just witnessed Chief Editor René Bordeaux admitting to have actively and willingly spread false accusations about an aspiring designer, specifically to harm her career. Will you give us a statement about your conspiring with a minor in order to blackmail your son, famous model Felix Leanne?”

The man - René Bordeaux, he remembered him from the fashion show, now! - backed away, arms raising to simultaneously hide his face and gesture through the air

“Y-You’re not allowed to publish that!”, he yelled at her, panic and wrath merging his voice into a shrill shout. “I have not consented to any interviews! As your superior, I order you to stop!”

“Actually, since you are a public figure and I am a journalist investigating your case of corruption, everything that has just been published is perfectly legal.”, Nadja informed him with a wink. “And it doesn’t look like your position as my superior will last much longer.”

”Also, since Lila has signed a declaration of consent just this morning,” Alya chimed in, holding up a document, “she’s fair game as well! Maybe you should’ve read the damn thing, Liar.”

Lila was only now recovering from the shock.

“Y-You guys did so great!”, she tried to fake a smile. “We finally busted that evil producer! I knew you were there, of course, I was just acting to make him spill his deeds-“

“Oh, shut up.”, Felix rolled his eyes at her and walked over to Marinette. “It’s game over for you, so save your excuses!”

Tears welled up in Lila’s eyes, and this time Adrien actually believed they were real.

“I-It wasn’t my idea! He forced me to, René Bordeaux forced me to help him!”

“I deny any involvement in this affair! I want to speak to my lawyers!”

“Come on, guys, you know me! I-I did so much for you, didn’t I?”, Lila whined on. That’s when she spotted him in the door.

“Adrien!”, she all but sobbed. “Tell them! Tell them I’m innocent; I’m the g-good guy!”

He backed away, wishing she hadn’t brought him up. Now the others had noticed him too.

“Is it true what she said?”, Nino said, brows furrowed in frustration. “You knew everything? And you just... did nothing?!”

“What the hell, Adrien?!”, Chloé spat, towering over him like a hawk. “I thought I was the jerk between the two of us!”

He fell to his knees, exhaustion catching up with him. His legs were wobbly of shock.

“No! No, I... I only wanted... I was just trying to protect you!”

“Protect us?”, Alya snarled. “By leaving us at Lila’s mercy, completely unprepared?! I uploaded a shit ton of fake news on my blog thanks to her! If it hadn’t been for Marinette, this could’ve ruined my entire career!”

“I thought we were friends, dude!”, Nino agreed, looking as betrayed as Adrien felt. “But friends don’t lie to each other! And you sure don’t help others with lying to your bro!”

No, no! This couldn’t be happening, no! Not like this, not now, not him!

“Please...”, he whispered, his hand clutching around the lucky charm in his pocket. “I wasn’t... Lila just...”

He couldn’t think of any excuse that wouldn’t sound hollow now. His friends didn’t care as they turned back to Lila, ignoring his slumped figure on the floor as they continued their petty fight.

Adrien didn’t listen to them, too busy with his own despair. He had... failed. At everything.

At being a good friend in the first place. At being there for Ladybug. And now at stopping Marinette from exposing Lila. Everything he did went wrong, everything he put his mind to-

“Cathexis”, a deep voice called and a purple glow illuminated the darkness of his mind. “I am Hawkmoth.”

Adrien froze. The lucky charm beneath his fingers had grown cold, and he couldn’t lift a finger to throw it away. Its cool prickle travelled up his wrist, his arm, into every cell of his body.

“I will give you the power you need to achieve your goals.”, Hawkmoth whispered into his head. “To keep your loved ones close, and your enemies even closer.”

No. No, he was a hero. He couldn’t let himself be turned into another one of Hawkmoth’s monsters.

“You’ve been wronged, haven’t you?”, Hawkmoth continued sweetly. “Ah, you have tried so hard, yet they keep ignoring your advice.”

His fight with Marinette flashed through his mind.

“Rejecting you, even though you have done so much.”

Ladybug pushing him away, again and again and again.

“If they cannot listen...”

Lila had continued to lie, Marinette had kept on plotting against her, Felix just wouldn’t stop being rude...

“...they must feel.”

Adrien’s head lowered and his lips moved on their own, whispering a word he didn’t mean.

“Yes, Hawkmoth.”

His eyes closed as the purple smoke covered him entirely.

“I will reign them in.”

Cathexis smiled.

“And be the hero they deserve.”

“You did it.”, Felix beamed at Marinette and pulled her aside. “I don’t know how, but you did it.”

How had she gotten everyone involved? Their oh-so skeptical class, Nadja Chamack, even Jagged Stone! It seemed impossible, but she had succeeded. He was free, from his father’s lingering shadow and Rossi’s obsessive manipulations. Free, once and for all.

“Of course I did!”, she played it off, cheeks as pink as Rose’s shirt. “I promised you, didn’t I? Besides...”

Her eyes wandered to her classmates.

“It was more of a group effort.”

Felix followed her gaze to the others, who were gathered in the middle of the room. Alya eagerly assisted Madame Chamack in pestering Bordeaux with one cutting question after the other, Nino cheered her on. Chloé led the others in their rage against Lila, who had started to spout every lousy excuse in the book. Sabrina was calling her father at the Police to arrest Bordeaux, who would have a hard time getting out of this one. Juleka and Jagged Stone were comparing the hues of their hair dye, Rose being their obviously biased judge. They were chaotic and loud and ruthless and absolutely amazing.

“I guess I should thank them.”, he said, a smile creeping onto his face. “They’re not so bad, after all.”

Yes. Annoying maybe, but full of loyalty and love for their friends. For Marinette, and after some time, perhaps even for him.

“Still”, he insisted, not here for Marinette not giving herself enough credit. “You are the best. How do you want me to repay you? I could invite you for dinner!”

She shook her head, smiling ironically.

“I think we are past favors and debts, aren’t we?”

Favors and debts, like on their very first day. No, they really had moved on from there. He had moved on, from his obsession with owing nothing to anybody. When he thought back, he could only see fear. That Bordeaux had been right, and every nice thing done for him came at a cost. Now though...

“Then let’s not call it favor.”, he suggested softly. “Let’s call it... a date?”

Part of him was shocked to hear himself even propose that, but rest of him was tired of hesitating. He wanted every second of Marinette’s company he could get, to make up for the days of Lila-induced isolation.

He watched every movement in Marinette’s face, every minute twitch of her lips and eyebrows. At first, her eyes widened and her cheeks turned darker. (Was she blushing? She was blushing! That was a good thing, wasn’t it?)

Then her fingers bolted up to her face, as if to hide it, only to settle for brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

“I...”, she started, voice two octaves higher then usual. Until finally, her lips curved into a smile. “I’d like that. And I know just the place!”

A mischievous glimmer appeared in her eyes.

“You’ll see when we get there, it’s-“

A scream drowned her voice out and they jumped back. Felix felt his blood run cold. The door had been slammed shut, chained and locked. Where Adrien had kneeled when he’d last checked, a gloomy figure hovered over the floor. It was held up by heavy metal chains that crept over the ground like snakes, apparently not bound by any law of physics. Defying gravity, some of them simply floated next to their wielder, waiting for orders.

The wielder himself looked monstrous enough on his own. His skin was devoid of any color, lifeless and dull like bleached bones. Black stripes ran down his face, like tear stains from his wide, eerie green eyes. His hair shared the stripes’ unsettling color. On top of his head rested a spiked, golden crown that reminded him of a halo.

Knight-like armor adorned with an upside down paw-print protected his torso, and around his wrist was a beaded bracelet of some sorts. From a chain around his other hand dangled a heavy, spiked Morningstar.

The akuma - because what else could he be? - chuckled.

“Much better.”, he sighed. “Now, let’s see... who wronged me the most?”

Without any visible sign, his chains bolted towards Lila, who screamed when her waist was seized by the animated metal. Instinctively, Felix’ hand grabbed Marinette’s. Any fast movement might draw the Akuma’s attention to them, but he needed her to be ready to run as soon as there was a chance.

All eyes were fixed on Lila and her captor, who tapped his chin as the girl quivered before him.

“Oh, you look so scared.”, he gasped. “Poor Lila. It’s just me, good old Adrien! Or... Cathexis, to be exact. Why would you fear me?”

He hummed.

“Maybe... because you know that you used me? Or because you lied to me? Or because you stalked me?” His voice grew louder and louder, and his soothing smile turned into a malicious grimace.

“Or because you ruined my friendships? My school life? My everything?”

Cathexis laughed joylessly, eyes so wide they looked as if they might pop out of his skull.

“Please!”, Lila pleaded desperately. “It wasn’t my fault, I-I only wanted the same thing as you! I promise-“

“SHUT UP!”

Everyone in the room startled, frozen in fear. Marinette gripped his hand more tightly as the chain holding Lila started to glow in the same, cold light Cathexis’ bracelet radiated. It began at its root somewhere behind his shoulder, and slowly spread over the links towards its victim. Lila whimpered.

“See, I am tired of waiting for you to change.”, Cathexis lamented. “I gave you so many chances, but you just won’t listen! So I’ll have to make you a better person myself.”

He grinned, revealing a mouth full of sharp teeth.

“Let’s call it one last emotional investment in you, okay?”

Lila trashed and trembled in her restrains as the glow came closer, tears in her terror-stricken eyes.

“Stop! I’m sorry, but whatever you’re doing, please stop it!”

Marinette twitched, but Felix held her in place. He wouldn’t let her endanger herself for Lila of all people! They could only watch as the light reached its prey. A white flash blinded them, then the chain dissolved and Lila dropped to the floor. She breathed, and her eyes were open, but her gaze was lifeless and empty.

Cathexis sigh broke the silence he’d shocked them into and he looked around.

“So...”, he said with an innocent smile. “Who’s next?”

Cathexis felt strong. He felt quick. He felt ready.

His chains dashed through the room the second he thought about giving the order, and as the people in the room broke out in panic, they seized them with ease. Nino, Alya, Chloé, all immobilized and chained to the ceiling with nothing more than a thought. The chain he had lost by fixing Lila was regrowing, and he directed it towards Marinette. His dear friend had started to guide the others to the back of the room and behind a curtain, cherishing the hope they might find safety there. Felix was next to her, but he could wait. For now, his ring was priority number one.

With a flick of his wrist he send the chain flying. It wrapped around Marinette’s wrist before she even noticed he was targeting her, and he had pulled her into the air in a heartbeat. Ignoring Felix’s scream, he retreated to the other side of the room.

Hawkmoth’s approval humming through his head, he sunk on eye-level with her, dodging the punch she’d aimed at his face. Another chain wrapped around her, fixing her arms at her side.

“Marinette!”, he rebuked her with a raised finger. “You should never react with violence, don’t you know that?”

“Let me go!”, his mannerless friend snarled. “What did you do with Lila?”

He knew the question sourced from fear for herself rather than concern for Lila, but he pretended otherwise for the moment. Soon, she’d care about Lila for real. And about him. And about any other person he chose to fix. They’d be a big happy family, with no problems or flaws under his watch. But first...

“You know what I’m looking for, Marinette.”

She froze and his eyes darted to the bump in the fabric above her collarbone.

“It’s fate that brought it back to me, so soon after I lost it.”, he whispered with a blissful smile. “You have it, don’t you? I saw it on you. My little secret, I want it back now.”

Marinette’s eyes narrowed in confusion.

“Lost it... wait, your secret?”

Her jaw dropped as her mind caught up.

“You!”

“Yes, me.”, he admitted happily. “You understand, don’t you? I need it back. Once Hawkmoth is done with it, I’ll be Chat Noir again. It’s my destiny! Surely, you wouldn’t want to stand in the way of a hero.”

Marinette looked absolutely shocked. Devastated even - hopefully at the thought of hindering Chat Noir. But the way her face hardened told him otherwise.

“It’s no longer yours!”, she hissed. “And you’re a fool if you think Hawkmoth would just give it back to you, once he has it.”

He sighed.

“The hard way, then.”

The chains tightened around her as he concentrated, focusing his energy on her. She was his friend. He’d done so much for her; he deserved something in return. But before he could conjure the light into his chains, pain flared in his right cheek and he was thrown sideways.

“Argh!”

More startled than hurt, he rubbed his cheek and looked around. The moment of distraction had been enough to make his chains go slack, enough to let Marinette free herself. His eyes fixated on the culprit. Felix stood in the middle of the room, arm still raised from the punch he’d given.

“Ah.”, the stubborn annoyance of a boy sighed, despite his obvious fear. “That was cathartic.”

“You!”, Cathexis growled, summoning his chains. “I’ll make you regret ever coming to our school.”

Oh, he wouldn’t fix Felix, no, no, no. The rude bastard didn’t deserve this mercy, and Cathexis wouldn’t invest his emotional energy in a guy whose akuma had cost him Plagg! No, Felix would meet a far harsher fate. Cathexis raised his Morningstar and swung it through the air to gain momentum. With a battle cry, he hurled the spiked sphere at his enemy, who threw himself aside just in time to avoid getting turned into a pancake. Again and again Cathexis took aim, using his sentient chains to block Felix’ path. Finally, when he had nowhere left to run, the Akuma called his weapon back to attack one last time.

“I should’ve done this sooner!”, he cackled gleefully. “It would have saved me so much trouble, you living nuisance!”

He swung the Morningstar, blind and deaf to anything except his target. A mistake, as it turned out. He couldn’t hear the creaking of metal over his own laughter, couldn’t see the beams for the cameras at the ceiling move. Only when they crashed down on him he realized he should have payed more attention to Marinette.

“No, no!”

Trapped beneath the crashed metal structure he could only watch as Marinette - the crafty pain in the butt - climbed down from the bars of the supporting column, pulling Felix with her. The two of them vanished behind the curtains at the back, and when he send out his chains to rip the fabric apart, he understood why.

“A backdoor!”, Hawkmoth growled. Of course, that’s why no one had been inside anymore. “Idiot! Now the girl escaped with the ring, our ring!”

Groaning, Cathexis pushed the beams and bars off of himself and stood up.

“I’ll hunt them down!”, he swore and called his chains back to him. “They can’t run from me!”

“No.”, Hawkmoth stopped him. “No, wait. The Cat Miraculous is already close, but Ladybug is still missing. Call her here, then go after the ring.”

Cathexis nodded as the violet glow faded from his face. His Lady would be here shortly! Until then, he could bring Chloé, Alya and Nino under his contr- supervision. They were still struggling with their restraints, but not much longer.

“Lila!”, he barked for his new ally and the brunette stood up. “Get the camera working. I need to alert Ladybug.”

“Of course!”, she obliged with a smile. “Then I can apologize to her. We’ll be great friends, with your help!”

Cathexis grinned and bared his fangs as she got to work. Soon, he told himself. His chained friends looked at him in fear.

Soon.

#miramu writes #wttb #welcome to the back #felinette fanfic #felinette #ml felix #ml marinette #akuma!adrien #cathexis

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damejanai · 4 years ago

Text

Dameraji

2020.11.25

~Personality test app~

S: Recently I've been playing this game app

K: ??

S: What's with that reaction

K: game app?!?

S: Hey hey, what's wrong with that

S: There was one where you read and story and it will analyse your personality. You'll have to gather the pieces to get the story and

K: Ooh?

S: And (laughs) i played it, there were two rounds of personality analysis, the same analysis for different routes. So i input the same answers for both and... i got, "split, denial of pure occurrences, perversion in the past, unconscious consideration of impulse, philosopher, mental conflict

K: Whoaa that's totally you!

S: Haha! This is crazy isn't it?

K: They're accurate

S: And also, there was one where you write stuff, and they will pick up words you wrote and analyse, so i decided to try it. I don't know how much i can talk about this but, i used some of my essays that i didn't publish, something like diaries

K: Uh huh

S: I wrote those in, and then. It said, "Your conflict is a type of mental conflict where you cannot find your place

K: Ooooh

S: So in this app there's a person who listens to you, and he said, "Probably, the existence of "me" became a mirror for you and made you say those words. Are there a lot of times when you think about things too much, and become mentally unstable? If it becomes to difficult for you to handle, you should not only seek help in my world, but also seek help from experts in your world. Don't over exert yourself." I was thinking, what's wrong with my essay?

K: It means, it's very introverted right?

S: I sent in something that was very positive

K: Uh huh uh huh

S: Like a comedic essay kind of thing

K: Uh huh

S: I was like, "huh?"

K: It means like it was too fabricated

S: Ahh it had an opposite effect

K: If it was this positive...

S: hahaha too weird?

K: Doesn't come out unless you are trying to change your actual self that is in denial. It analysed that such person doesn't exist, i guess

S: Hahaha, well so if we have time later, i will tell you what

it is, i want ishikawa san to do the test too, on another day

K: I'm using this one called M gram

S: Ah yesyes, that sort of app

K: It like, tells me monthly, "your last analysis was 2 years ago" I'm not using it at all

S: Umm it might be nice to have an episode just about that right

K: Hahhaa

S: Like a "read into yourself" episode, i like that sort of thing you know, and do it from time to time, but that kind of analysis

K: Scary isn't it

S: No matter how many times i take the test it says "split"

K: It might be, what's that called, if I explain in PERSONA terms it'll be like Thanatos

S: Thanatos type or something...

K: So scary...

S: Oh true, the lyrics i write have a lot of that

K: True, not darkness but it makes you feel a little glum

S: But, but i want everyone to know that, this is just, a topic that is positive

K: And anyway, isn't it attractive to have some shadow over you

S: Yes yes yes, there's a part of me that feels that, that is something cool

K: Ahhh, saying it outright makes you totally uncool though

S: Hahahhaa

----

~Kaito doing a presentation about Soma~

S: I get cast for some sports anime sometimes, but it's usually those passing ones. Yamaguchi is one of the more special ones

K: That's true

S: Recently, I've not had roles like Yamaguchi, those that are cool because they are quiet but hardworking, so that was quite a good experience

K: Those are the ones that really get you into it though?

S: Yes yes, even playing the character myself, it makes you emotional

K: Uh huh

S: It's the sort that I, Saito Soma, can identify with most. But most of the time (laughs) I usually get characters that have 2 sides

K: That's true

S: And those that pick fights with others, and smug characters

K: Those too, and intelligent characters and such, smart ones

S: I might have quite a few mystery solving ones

K: If i were to do a presentation of Saito Soma to all those with casting privileges

S: Yes?

K: His real charm is, his shouting

S: Ohhhh?

K: Um

S: Really?

K: To him personally, shouting may put a great burden on his voice, and if it would be tough if he did too much of that

S: Well well well

K: But from a by standers' point of view, it has this sound pressure, this desperation

S: Ehhhhh

K: So, he would be totally fitting for roles, like Yamaguchi in Haiykuu, in Haikyuu, at the fighting scene. If you don't have that sound pressure you can't produce that kind of sound

S: Hooooo

K: And that distance, very close to Tsukki, that minute tweaking of that pressure from that distance, is not something that can be easily done. So of course, he has the image of an intelligent person, or mysterious person, but the roles most suited for him are those where the character is very fired up

S: Whoaa thank you....

K: And that was my presentation

S/K: HAHAHHAA

S: Wait a minute

K: Hahahhaa That didn't have a great impact did it?

S: On the contrary, we reacted in an unexpected way

K: Hahaha

S: It really sank in

~Dameraji Photo Studio~

Topic: Nostalgic games

#dameraji #dame janai radio #saito soma #ishikawa kaito

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fayewonglibrary · 4 years ago

Text

Singapore Radio Interview (1998)

* SOME REVISIONS TO SPELLING/GRAMMAR/WORDING *

DJ Baobao: Wei, ni hao!

Faye: Ni hao!

DJ: Eh, sorry for disrupting your work.

Faye: It's okay, it's okay! DJ: Sorry for delaying your work. Because this is FM 93.3, we haven't heard from you for a long time, so we would like to ask about your well-being. Faye: Uh, okay. DJ: How are you? Faye: I, uh, is it starting now?? DJ: Yes, yes, yes! Faye: (Laughs) I'm very good. DJ: Would you like to greet everyone? Faye: Singapore fans, hi everyone, I'm Faye Wong, long time no see. DJ: We would like to find out if this album [Sing and Play] is the ideal one that you've always wanted to do? Faye: This one ah? Can’t consider it yet, I don’t think it’s perfect enough. DJ: So you mean you have an ideal concept in mind but have yet to achieve it? Faye: My ideal album would be something that I am 100% satisfied with, but this one, I don't think so yet. DJ: Do you have any album that's close enough to your ideal album? Faye: Close ah? Umm... Fuzao.

DJ: Yeah, Fuzao right? Yeah, I think it's very 'YOU'. Faye: (laughs) DJ: How was the entire process (recording 'Tong')? Did you have to pacify your daughter in any way? Faye: Actually there was no need to pacify her in any way. But it depended on her mood. If she's happy and willing to sing...actually at that time, well, we just took her to the recording studio once, just very naturally took her into the recording studio and let her sing. I taught her, by her side, and just record and record and chose suitable parts that we could use.

DJ: Do you think it has anything to do with pre-natal 'teaching', that she has this rhythm in her?

Faye: I think it's heredity! (laughs together) No pre-natal teaching involved, I didn't do any pre-natal things.

DJ: People feel that after you had a family, you have become different. You’re all smiles and the phrase they used was 'very co-operative.' What do you think?

Faye: Er...is it? (laughs) I feel that there's no drastic change...I’m releasing an album, so maybe yeah, there's promo activities involved and last time I needed to do promotions as well. But I feel that yeah, personally I feel more relaxed, not as tense as before. This might be a change, but not a drastic change, I don't think so. DJ: Maybe people around you see the change and associate this change with your family or maybe you experienced something new and have a new understanding in life? Faye: Hmm, I just mentioned that maybe there's a change in me, but not like what others say, a drastic change, it’s a little. With a daughter, I just feel that many things make me easily happy. Other than that, about life, no, I don't think there's any influence.

DJ: With your experience in this industry, do you worry for your daughter? Have you thought about this kind of far-off matter?

Faye: No, I don't worry. I feel this is her own matter. In the future, how she manages her life, how she faces her lifestyle, I feel it should all depend on her. Yup, when she was born, she was already an independent individual. Well I'm just responsible for her life and her education to a point, until she has matured. Then it'll be all under her control to manage her life.

DJ: Do you feel that people around you have any misconceptions about you, Faye Wong, as a person?

Faye: People around me? You mean fans?

DJ: No, just the people around you, erm, well, have you thought about how the media tends to be all nervous around you?

Faye: I think so. I think they can't totally understand me. After all, there's still this distance, they can't entirely pin-point what kind of person I am. I feel this misconception is very natural, but I don't wish to exaggerate this kind of misconception.

DJ: But when you hear things like, "Faye is very difficult to get through", do you feel sad?

Faye: I don't and won't feel sad. Actually everyone has a difficult side right? (laughs) A stubborn side. I think it's very natural. I don't think I am a very easy-going person to everything because I have my own ideas, my own views, and many times, I stand by my views. But this will inevitably lead to disagreements with others, so they feel like that. I think it's perfectly natural.

DJ: I did an interview with Leon Lai once and he said that with his kind of character, to survive in the entertainment industry till now is quite amazing. So inevitably I thought of you as an example. Have you balanced your gains and losses in this industry, especially with the invasion of privacy? Have you sort of balanced this sense of violation?

Faye: (Takes a deep breath) Uh, how does one put it? I feel that I as a sole individual have no power to settle this kind of 'disagreement', that is the disagreement between the media and a celebrity. But I feel that I have my own stance. I feel that I can co-operate with the media in areas regarding work but with privacy, I still try to protect my privacy. I understand that the media, well, a reporter, I mean, they don't have a say over everything they do. They, well, (laughs) have to listen to their supervisors' commands, or whatever, I understand this. But I feel that they cannot request a celebrity to 'co-operate' with them in this area... DJ: ...or to satisfy them. Faye: Right, they cannot request such a thing. Let’s say if a reporter is chasing a celebrity's whatever, private business, and were met with an irritated response, I feel that he should also feel that it's a very natural thing. I mean, no one likes it this way right? So I feel that everyone has their own stance. I feel that if everyone can understand one another, then there can be some kind of balance. So I can only do so much. I try to understand them as much as I possibly can. But you also shouldn't hope that I can 'co-operate' with you in any way. In this area, I won't voluntarily stand out and tell you my story.

DJ: So you published a photo taken with your daughter, this already belongs to the public if it's published in the papers. Is this considered public or your privacy?

Faye: You mean the one that reporters snapped and published in the papers?

DJ: The one at your birthday 'wig' party for example.

Faye: hmmm....

DJ: I feel that this may be quite confusing, is it considered your pri- Faye: (interrupts) I feel, private or not, whether or not I am willing to share openly, this is my decision. If I am willing to share, I can give you the photos and allow you to publish it. But if it's my business and I don't wish to let you know, I won't co-operate with you, that's what I mean. DJ: So, it still depends on you...

Faye; Of course! Of course, this is my life right? (both laugh) Yeah, I feel it is like with a friend, if I wish to let you know about it, I will tell you. If I don't wish to do so, you cannot blame me if I don't tell you about it right? It's just that simple.

DJ: But this will be a very slow gradual 'counter-attacking' process...

Faye: I have no intention to 'counter-attack'. I just feel, er, how to put this? Well, if he doesn't attack, why should I counter attack, right?? If everyone can get along with no problems, why would I...this so-called 'counter-attack' means firstly there must be a violation. You violate my rights, that's why I would defend myself right?? (both laugh)

DJ: Yeah, maybe that's the process.

Faye: That's why I said that I cannot do much as an individual to settle this matter. I can only stand firm and think things over and clearly, and try hard not to get too angry over such matters.

DJ: Sounds as if it's quite tiresome and helpless?

Faye: Yeah, I guess, life is like that!

DJ: I guess this is the rule of the game. They have this process, we just have to follow cause we can't change it.

Faye: Um, presently yes, but I still hope there will be a change.

DJ: So do I. Oh, we must also congratulate you on winning the Singapore Hit Awards "Most Favorite Female Artist".

Faye: um, thank you.

DJ: Would you like to say a few words? I know many people voted conscientiously, although, you rarely come to Singapore.

Faye: Yeah, that's what I wanted to say too. I have very few opportunities to come to Singapore and I would like to thank Singapore fans for being so supportive of me all along. I’m very thankful to them.

DJ: Thank you, Faye.

Faye: Thank you.

DJ: What you can do is to show us more of your good work.

Faye: Yes, this is what I hope to achieve as well.

DJ: Thank you, good bye!

Faye: Bye.

------------------------------------------------------------------

SOURCE: SINGAPORE FAYENATICS // TRANSLATED BY: UNKNOWN - PLEASE CONTACT ME

#1998

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kellyvela · 5 years ago

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i love the deranged dany/jon shippers trying to position themselves as some kind of authority on what grrm would and wouldnt do and insist that grrm would! never! hook jon up with his cousin when he actually intended to do that with jon and arya (in a love triangle with tyrion).

Hello Anon,

Are you serious? There are people who believe GRRM would never hook up cousins?? And the same people ship aunt and nephew???

GRRM has no problem at all with incest, in ASOIAF we have siblings incest in Jaime and Cersei; and father daughters incest with Craster an his daughters. And we also have all the Targaryens ffs.

He also has no problem with cousins getting involved in marriage alliances and romance, no matter if they aren’t Targaryens. About cousins, we have Tywin and Joanna Lannister, and Rickard and Lyarra Stark. And about uncles and nieces, we have Jonnel and Sansa Stark, and the frustrated union of Cregan and Alys Karstark. All these unions weren’t considered incest tho…

But GRRM does have a problem with “outlines”. Let’s talk about “outlines” then:

FEBRUARY 2015

A reddit user spotted a tweet from UK bookseller Waterstones which contained three photos of a 1993 letter GRRM wrote outlining the entire ASOIAF series.

The tweet has since been deleted, but not before the images made it to the internet.

Here is the reddit post.

And here is an article with the three photos of the letter and the transcription.

As you said, GRRM “originally” planned for a Stark cousins romance between Jon Snow and Arya Stark:

Jon Snow, the bastard, will remain in the far north. He will mature into a ranger of great daring, and ultimately will succeed his uncle as the commander of the Night’s Watch. When Winterfell burns, Catelyn Stark will be forced to flee north with her son Bran and her daughter Arya. Wounded by Lannister riders, they will seek refuge at the Wall, but the men of the Night’s Watch give up their families when they take the black, and Jon and Benjen will not be able to help, to Jon’s anguish. It will lead to a bitter estrangement between Jon and Bran. Arya will be more forgiving … until she realizes, with terror, that she has fallen in love with Jon, who is not only her half-brother but a man of the Night’s Watch, sworn to celibacy. Their passion will continue to torment Jon and Arya throughout the trilogy, until the secret of Jon’s true parentage is finally revealed in the last book.

And a love triangle with Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion Lannister will continue to travel, to plot, and to play the game of thrones, finally removing his nephew Joffrey in disgust at the boy king’s brutality. Jaime Lannister will follow Joffrey on the throne of the Seven Kingdoms, by the simple expedient of killing everyone ahead of him in the line of succession and blaming his brother Tyrion for the murders. Exiled, Tyrion will change sides, making common cause with the surviving Starks to bring his brother down, and falling helplessly in love with Arya Stark while he’s at it. His passion is, alas, unreciprocated, but no less intense for that, and it will lead to a deadly rivalry between Tyrion and Jon Snow.

So yeah, GRRM planned for a pseudo incest romance between two major characters of the same House, and a love triangle with a main character of a rival House.

MAY 2016 - BALTICON

A bit more than a year after that tweet from Waterstones, GRRM attended the The Maryland Regional Science Fiction and Fantasy Convention - BALTICON. There he was questioned by fans about the Jon and Arya romance:

After the Coffee Talk just outside the room:

My Con Friend asked about Arya and Jon again. This time GRRM gave some very pointed replies:

GRRM finished (in the hallway now) by saying that he “wished some past things weren’t such strong foreshadowing,” and that he, “wished some new things had stronger foreshadowing then.”

Friend: Ok, if you foreshadowed something in the first book, like, really cleverly hidden, would you then follow through on that hint? For sure?..

GRRM: “Well, this goes with what I said before, the story changes and expands as I write. I wish I was able to go back and make revised drafts, but that’s not going to happen.”

Here is a transcript of the outline discussion and Jon/Arya portion of the coffee talk:

[question about Jon/Arya]

[question about Jon comparing his lover to his sister]

[someone says they have 5 minutes left]

[question if he is still going with the 1991 ending]

“Yes, I mean, I did partly joke when I said I don’t know where I was going. I know the broad strokes, and I’ve known the broad strokes since 1991. I know who’s going to be on the Iron Throne. I know who’s gonna win some of the battles, I know the major characters, who’s gonna die and how they’re gonna die, and who’s gonna get married and all that. The major characters. Of course along the way I made up a lot of minor characters, you know, I, uhm…Did I know in 1991 how Bronn, what was gonna happen to Bronn? No, I didn’t even know there’d be a guy named Bronn. I was inventing him along the way when I was writing, ‘Okay, he gets kidnapped. Let’s see, there are a couple sellswords there, their names are Fred and Bronn’.“It was actually Bronn and Chiggen, and then one of them dies, I flipped a coin ‘okay, who dies? Chiggen dies, cause his name is stupid. Bronn is a better name, so I’ll keep Bronn’. And then Bronn became quite an interesting character and plenty of these characters take on minds of their own. They push to the front till you [?] speech and you think of a cool line and you give it to Bronn because he’s trying to talk, and now Bronn is somebody who says something cool. [?]. That’s how characters grow on you.“So a lot of the minor characters I’m still discovering along the way. But the mains-”

[question if he knows Arya’s and Jon’s fates]

“Tyrion, Arya, Jon, Sansa, you know, all of the Stark kids, and the major Lannisters, yeah.”

This report appears in the following sources:

fattest leech of ice and fire blog [Source 1]

asoiaf.westeros.org [Source 2]

westeros.org [Source 3]

As you can see Anon, according GRRM the “original outline” was “a two-page thing about what [he] thought would happen”… “And [he] was making up shit.”

He also said that: “[he] pretty much disregarded the outline. The characters took [him] off in entirely different directions. So, for 20 years [he] had forgotten that that two-page thing even existed”.

But then he clarified that:

“I did partly joke when I said I don’t know where I was going. I know the broad strokes, and I’ve known the broad strokes since 1991. I know who’s going to be on the Iron Throne. I know who’s gonna win some of the battles, I know the major characters, who’s gonna die and how they’re gonna die, and who’s gonna get married and all that. The major characters”.

From all this information, I think that the romance between Jon and Arya was discarded:

[He] “wished some past things weren’t such strong foreshadowing,” and that he, “wished some new things had stronger foreshadowing then.”

The story changes and expands as I write. I wish I was able to go back and make revised drafts, but that’s not going to happen.”

But the romance between two major characters of the same House (Stark cousins) is still there.

But a romance between two major characters of the same House could also happen between aunt and nephew, and if we follow the Show, this was the new route GRRM took.

We just have to wait to certainly know if GRRM will give us the Stark cousins romance that was promised or if he has already changed his original plan.

#grrm #asoiaf #jon snow #arya stark #tyrion lannister

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fandomfourever · 4 years ago

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1, 3, 28

Thanks for asking! :)

1) Celebrity Crush: Hmm…. I honestly don’t usually crush on celebrities. I guess the closest would have to be Alex Brightman from Beetlejuice: The Musical? (yes I know he’s married don’t come for me about it)

3) Rant: I’m tired of not knowing what to do to achieve my dreams and goals. I know exactly what I want but I have no idea how to go about getting it. Living in NY, acting in TV, movies, video games, theater, having a loving boyfriend/husband—but how? I keep trying to do things that should lead me on the right path, except they don’t. I tried college, but they wouldn’t let me major in theater because of “lack of experience” despite having been acting since I was 8. I’m sorry, was I supposed to come out of the womb acting??? So I had to minor in it. I dropped out because it made me miserable and I wasn’t learning anything useful in my major or other classes, plus I kept getting 1 shitty roommate after another. How was I supposed to function without sleep because TWO SEPARATE roommates decided it’d be fun to have sex at 3am in the dorm without warning??? I tried working in voice acting for a friend, except his project never got that far. I tried Edge Studio, except doing Narration is NOT what I wanted to do. I tried. I really did. But again it was making me miserable. I decided that if I did get that demo and got jobs doing narration it wouldn’t lead anywhere healthy. After long deliberation I quit. I hate it because it makes it seem like I’m lazy or a whiny person, when I just want to do the thing that makes me happiest, which is acting. Character acting. I was planning on seeing if I could join a local paid theater group, but Covid happened and having looked things up I don’t know if I even can because their Intern program appears to be for kids/teens. I do feel so lucky my mom is supportive and understanding. She even wants to help me move to NY. But we can’t now, because she doesn’t want to leave my grandma behind. But now we’re moving in with my Aunt who moved up to also be close to her, and while that’s great and all, and we’ll be able to save money to maybe someday go to NY, it could still be YEARS before that happens and I hate feeling like I’m waiting for Gramie to die because I love her and that’s shitty. So most people would say “oh just get a regular job until you can afford to move out”. But here’s are the problems with that: Lack of jobs, can’t drive, social anxiety. Those last two issues basically get rid of any possible jobs that are around here. I did do “normal” jobs here and there for a few years, but my physical (which has partially been solved with the hysterectomy, but I still have knee problems) and mental health couldn’t do it. I also tried online paid surveys, except the company sending the surveys stopped sending them. I have been working on my novel, but who knows when that will be done or if it will get published. So there’s my rant. I have no clue what to do anymore.

28) What celebrity would you rate a perfect 10/10? …. Alex Brightman. Lol. Tbh, nobody is perfect, but I’d have to say he’s pretty darn close. If I had to choose someone else I’d probably say Robin Lord Taylor. Or Misha Collins.

#tag thing #about me #idk #rant #don't mind me just spilling about the last seven years of my life #I'm trying not to care what other people think and live my life #but it's very hard #nynynightmare

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realm-sweet-realm · 5 years ago

Text

Moving On

This takes place chronologically after the events of another one of my stories, called “Breaking the Time Loop.” I think it’s understandable without having read it, though. I hope everyone enjoys it.

---

For twenty three years, Sammy Lawrence had longed for everything he had now. Freedom. His old body. The whole, open, colourful world for him to live in. Even his relationship with Susie Campbell had been given back to him. In his daydreams, Sammy had fantasized about publishing the music he’d written in his years of captivity, becoming involved with a church, marrying, and never coming back to that horrible studio or performing demonic arts again.

Less had changed than he expected. Until he was finally free, he had never realized just how attached he was to the churches he already had within the studio, and the people he’d helped there. And so, every day after work, he’d head into the sketch dimension. The portal to it had found a new home in the closet in the bathroom of his brother’s apartment, where he and Susie were staying until they found their own place to stay. Joey had been perfectly willing to help him move it: there was no more closure to be had from the sketch dimension, and a part of Joey was honestly just happy that someone from the dimension was moving on and helping to salvage the souls of the damned.

Within the dimension, Alice Angel was hard at work sending the souls of Sammy’s cult to heaven. A necessary part of that was separating a soul from the hive mind that lost one’s tended to become when left unattended.

There was nothing functionally wrong with separating them out as needed like Alice was doing. The souls, spread out across dozens of bodies, simply wouldn’t be aware of themselves. A few of them, Sammy knew, had never even attempted to separate due to what could only be described as a very weak will to live. The only problem was that Sammy didn’t like seeing his people melt away into a languid hive. That was why he reopened the Church of Unity and returned to it whenever necessary, playing audio logs for anyone who had forgotten who they were.

There was a good deal less to do at the Church of Unity now that Alice was at work- nothing helps one’s will to live like not being hunted by a demon and the concrete promise of escape. And of course, now that Bendy had given life back to every person he could, the Church of the Ink Demon was permanently closed. The only other “work” he had as a pastor was in encouraging the occasional lost one who was afraid to give himself over to Alice. As a result, Sammy had a lot of time to spend hanging out with the important people in his life. He and Jack were still best friends, and would Sammy often played music with him. Jack also joined Sammy, Tom, and Alice for games of cards. He generally wouldn’t leave the sketch dimension until ten or eleven at night, when his body’s need for sleep forced him to.

At first, Susie stayed up for him. Though, his social batteries were usually drained by that point, so he typically just showered off and went to bed after that, careful to remove every drop of ink from himself and the floor. Susie hated seeing ink in any quantity greater than what would come out of a pen, and she hated when Sammy talked about what was going on in the sketch dimension. Thing was, that was pretty much Sammy’s whole life. Eventually, she stopped staying up for him, making him agree to have dinner with her and his brother each night before disappearing into the sketch dimension instead.

Over dinners, he mostly let Susie talk. She’d always been the type to enjoy talking about her day and the like. As of late, she’d been talking about new technologies and other little things that had changed between the forties and the sixties that she wanted Sammy to see. His response was always the same: “we’ll do it on the weekend.” As of late, she’d been doing a lot of complaining about him not becoming more involved in “the real world.”

Sammy hated that. The people of his cult were real. Real and important to him. If Susie didn’t want to listen to why that was (and she didn’t. She didn’t want to hear a word about the sketch dimension) she’d just have to accept it blind.

Despite some bitterness towards her, Sammy did feel bad about neglecting to make a life outside the sketch dimension, especially as Susie began to lose interest in him. And that wasn’t the only problem with living most of his life there. The other problem was that the people that made up his life were disappearing before his eyes.

Sammy had always known that that would happen eventually, of course. And he knew that his people were going to a better place, and that there was no way for them to live in a physical body again. Still, when someone he had known was there one day and gone from him the next, he couldn’t help but think of it as their death. Like people he knew were dying on a regular, steady basis and the studio just kept getting emptier.

Alice was the only one he could talk to about that. He didn’t even want Susie to know about it. So, when his memories of some ascended lost one were keeping him up at night, he’d leave and head for somewhere where no one could bother him. Oftentimes to his old sanctuary. From his time in captivity, he was used to hearing lost ones cry at night. He was even used to being one of them.

Susie noticed that Sammy’s mood had taken a turn, and was even aware of him leaving at night, but she didn’t know what to do about it. He denied that it was even happening, until a particular event pushed her to act.

It had all started when Sammy had come to Alice and Tom’s place, as he had many times before, only to be greeted by a strange, sketchy, black-and-white man. The man was tall, burly, and completely unsurprised by Sammy’s shock. “Like my new look? Oh calm down, Sammy. It’s Tom. Come in.”

“How...?”

“You see, Sammy,” Alice explained, “I decided to get one of the harder cases over with. The searcher that you’d isolated in that cage because she’d gone entirely insane. Well, after a few hours I realized that there was no fixing her. I should have known. She couldn’t even even speak, the poor thing. So I did what I did for Norman’s soul and just blanked it out and let Tom use it to change form. Boris here might be fine as a mute dog, but Tom isn’t!”

“Oh. Uh, congratulations, Tom. You look great!” Sammy replied, though he was much more concerned with his favourite blob with a hat. “She was so insane she couldn’t talk, you say?”

“Oh, Sammy. I promise you that Jack is going to be fine. I don’t know why he’s always stayed a searcher, but you know that none of them can talk. His soul seems pretty normal from what I can see.” From the corner where he was stroking Boris the wolf, Jack nodded in agreement.

“Alright, good to hear,” Sammy had said. That night, though, he laid awake, pondering his friend’s mortality, and the promise he’d made to his church to do everything in his power to save them. And it just seemed so unfair that he should get to live, just because he happened to have kept a bit of his own hair.

Sammy sat up in bed. That was it. The only way to bring him back was to get some physical remains of his. If that tiny, inky bundle of hair was enough for Bendy to do his magic, then anything ought to do.

Sammy retrieved a phone book from the drawer, taking a glance at the clock, which read 2:36. This was insane, and Sammy knew it was insane. Nonetheless, he flipped through the pages until he came upon the name “Fain.” It made most sense to just start at the top of the list and work his way down. He dialed the first number, the noise painfully loud against the silence of the night.

“Hello,” came a sleepy, female voice. Sammy had to wonder what he’d been thinking, doing this at this hour. Yet, it felt too late to back out now.

“Yes, hello. Do you have a relative named Jack Fain?”

“Uh, let me think... yeah. An uncle, I think.”

“Is he dead?”

“What?

“Sorry, I mean, uh...”

“Who is this?”

There was a silence.

“I’m hanging up-“

“Wait! I’m a geneticist from uh, New York University! We have reason to believe that he had a rare but harmless genetic abnormality that we’d like to study. Do you have anything that might have his DNA?”

“Oh, okay. I’m sorry, no. You might have a better chance with one of his adoptive kids, but I doubt anyone has anything. He went missing a long time ago. Can I give you one of their numbers?”

“I’d love that.”

Within the next ten minutes, Sammy had been on the line with all three of Jack’s adoptive kids, and was no closer to securing Jack’s DNA. He hung the phone back up and slumped to the floor, defeated and ready to cry. His sheep might be going to a better place, but he was still losing them, and he wasn’t sure how much more he could take. Susie and Sammy’s brother watched in silence from the hall. Susie beckoned his brother over.

“What should we do?” she whispered.

“I don’t think we can get through to him,” he replied.

“I think I know someone who can.”

Susie left the man’s side and left for the entrance to the sketch dimension. Even just poking her head through the door and seeing the sepia-toned studio on the other side made her heart pick up the pace. Slowly, she forced herself in, and pulled the door shut behind her. She checked it to make sure that it was in fact unlocked. Alright, she could do this. She’d done it before-done it for years. And it wasn’t as though the ink demon was here this time.

“Relentless forward momentum, Susie. Just do it, and don’t look back.”

Susie made her way through the studio, found an axe, slaughtered a few butcher gang trios, and found the elevator.

Relentless forward momentum. Don’t think, just do. There were plenty of artifacts of her past to trigger her memories, but she refused to take any of it in.

After a trip through Bendyland, she came to an ink river and stopped dead. Allison would be on the other side of this. Come on. Relentless forward momentum. It’s not gonna melt you. After some serious hesitation, Susie got in, waded through as quickly as she could, and found herself at Alice’s door. She gave it a few hard knocks.

“Who is it...?” Alice asked sleepily.

“It’s Susie Campbell.”

Confused, Alice got up and opened the door. Sure enough, Susie was there. “Susie! What brings you here?”

“It’s about Sammy. He’s not adjusting to the real world and I don’t think he would listen to anyone else. I want to give him an intervention, but could use you to soften him up. What do you say?”

Alice hesitated. Susie was getting desperate. “This is the last time he’ll ever get to spend with these people, Susie. I’ve seen into his soul, and you have no idea how much his people matter to him and how good his time here was. Have you ever considered just letting him grieve?”

Tears pricked at Susie’s eyes. “I wish I could see how he’s grown. But all he wants to do is come here. And talk about here. And I don’t wanna ever think about here again. All the ways I was hurt, and hurt other people... I just wanna forget it all and he won’t let me. Alice, if nothing happens, I’m going to have to leave him for my own sake so that I can move on. And I’m worried about how he’ll take that. He’s already crying almost every night, and tonight he was lying to people on the phone and acting like a fool in the middle of the night because he doesn’t want to lose Jack. I don’t wanna put a break up on him on top of that. What should I do, Alice?”

Alice looked to Susie with pity. At this point tears were flowing down the smaller woman’s face. “I guess you should at least warn him,” she sighed. “About the breakup, that is. I guess I can try talking to him. I’m biased, Susie. I don’t know what there is to value out there. I only know about in here. But I’ll try.”

“Okay,” Susie choked out.

“Can I walk you to the elevator? You look like you swam here.”

“There’s an elevator?”

“Yep. The lost ones made it.”

That explained why Susie didn’t know about it. Why would the lost ones share their knowledge with a monstress who wanted to vivisect them for their hearts? But, Susie didn’t have to think about that. A few minutes, and she’d be out of this inky hell.

—-

Sammy was overjoyed that Susie was finally allowing him to bring Allison and Tom out of the sketch dimension. He had something very important to tell them. After, of course, showing them around a little.

Allison in particular was awestruck as they walked downtown together. “There’s so much colour. Oh my gosh, what’s this one called?” Allison asked, pointing to a woman’s dress.

“Indigo. And the belt’s colour is called red,” Sammy said. Showing Allison around like this made him feel like a hero. Suddenly, Allison tore off to a cart selling flowers. By the time he’d caught up with her, she was face-deep in them.

“Oh, Sammy... you told me there were a lot of different kinds of these things, but... I never thought there would be this many.”

“Wanna buy some?”

If it were possible, Alice’s face lit up even more. Sammy bought her some small indigo flowers.

Soon, they were at the park they’d intended to go to. “So,” Alice began, voice somber, “I have something to tell you.”

“Really? Me, too.”

“You first.”

“Okay. So, I know you don’t really know yet what you’re going to do once you’re on the outside, and I’ve been thinking that you and Bendy could make a great team for curing mental illnesses like schizophrenia or dementia. Just kill them, manipulate the soul, and have Bendy bring them back to life. Easy, and it would probably bring in a lot of money.”

Alice looked at him like he was crazy. “Don’t the people out here have more reservations about death than us?”

“Oh, right. But, they also have reservations about torturing themselves with mental illness. I think a lot of people would still take it.”

“I don’t know, Sammy. I kind of want to find out who I am when I’m not killing people and manipulating souls. I don’t expect you to get it, but choosing who someone is supposed to be without their input is stressful. I’m not sure I can even do anything about dementia- it’s more a physical thing. And just... look around,” Allison gestured at the park. “It’s beautiful. Tom and I want to come out here and try something new. Anyhow, do you know if Bendy would be up to it?”

Sammy looked pensively to the grass. “No. Can I call him now?”

“Sure.”

So, that’s what Sammy did. Bendy picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Bendy. It’s Sammy Lawrence.

“Hi, Sammy! To what do ah owe the honour?”

“This is... mostly hypothetical, but I was wondering if you’d be up to joining in a little project with Allison. It would involve moving across states to live with her, but I can imagine no greater use of your gifts.”

Bendy was silent a moment. Then, he heard Bendy call out, “Dad! It’s Sammy! He wants me to move in with Alice!”

“What?” Henry grunted before taking the phone and chasing Bendy off to play. “Sammy, hi! How are you adjusting to the real world?”

“Good...”

“Good. Now look, I’m sorry, but Bendy relocating now is not a good idea.”

Sammy was surprised with the strength of his reaction. “But why? You don’t even know what my plan is.”

“Because, Sammy,” Henry said patiently, “Bendy is a child. It doesn’t matter what the plan was. He needs his parental figures.”

“No he isn’t,” Sammy retorted, “He’s a powerful, 20-something-year-old demon that can control ink and raise the dead.”

“Yeah, but he spent several of those years locked and chained in an empty room, and spent the rest of them wandering around in a pocket dimension attempting to steal a soul. And right now, he wouldn’t want to be separated from me for two days, let alone to move to another state with Tom and Allison. Mentally, he’s just a child with abandonment issues. I don’t know what I’m going to do with him long-term, Sammy. Right now we’re going to try putting him in school. He’ll probably be ready for something like what you’re talking about one day. But right now, we honestly just want to move on.”

“Oh. Okay,” Sammy said. Then he hung up.

“What did he say?” Alice asked.

“They want to move on.”

Alice nodded. “That’s the thing I needed to tell you. Susie is worried about you. She thinks you have to move on.”

Sammy hid his head in his hands. A ton of thoughts, most of them nasty, brewed. He counted to ten and said, “Susie doesn’t realize how important my cult is to me. She doesn’t want to talk about anything.”

“She’s traumatized.”

Sammy strained to keep the anger out of his voice and the tears out of his eyes. “Why couldn’t you have just fixed that when you had the chance? It hurts us. You fixed that other guy.”

Alice sighed. “That’s different, Sammy. Depression is basically the brain not producing enough of a couple chemicals. To use the writing metaphor, it’s a matter of correcting a couple grammatical errors. With Susie, it would be like rewriting the plot, or deleting sentences. Susie’s trauma is about her memories, and her interpretation of them. Unless it were necessary, I couldn’t just... delete soul-deep memories. I could have planted thoughts in her head so that she wouldn’t be so affected by them, but after doing so much of that already for her identity issues and aggression, I just wanted to keep it low-interference wherever I could. And maybe that was a mistake. There isn’t a manual for this, y’know. I have to make choices and then live with them.”

“Oh. Okay,” Sammy replied, resigned. “If I can ask, what’s the biggest thing you did to me?”

“I made your thinking less black and white. That’s about it.”

“Okay.”

Sammy sat in silence a while, head on his knees. “What are you going to do when you can come out?” Sammy asked. “Who will you stay with?

“Presumably Tom and I will just live in the sketch dimension until we can afford a real place.”

“Okay. I was just thinking about letting the sketch dimension go for Susie’s sake. The thing is, I don’t want to leave you to learn about the world alone-“

Alice grabbed Sammy’s hand. His perfect, creamy white hand. This was someone pure. Someone who wouldn’t be stared at by every man woman and child out here. “Sammy. Look at yourself. You belong out here. With people. I wouldn’t want to hold you back.”

“You wouldn’t be. Alice, I’m not the person I was going into the sketch dimension, and I wouldn’t want to be. I want to discover who I am now and how I could fit in to this world, too. That’s what Susie doesn’t seem to get- even when my cult is gone, I don’t want things to go back to the way they were. We could figure out our new lives together. Tom, too.”

Alice would have blushed if she were physically capable of it. She also laughed a little, which confused Sammy. “What?”

“Oh, nothing. It just that I was supposed to get you to see the light and leave the sketch dimension behind. It seems like I’ve done pretty much the opposite. I’m gonna warn you, though: Susie and your brother are waiting for you to come back to the apartment so they can do a little intervention for you.”

The two came back to the apartment together, where Susie and Sammy’s brother were waiting. They had a serious talk together about what Sammy could be doing to handle loss better, and Sammy listened. He also explained his side of the story and what he’d planned with Allison. Susie was devastated, but also relieved when she and Sammy broke up. After the intervention was finished, Susie called her sister, and was moved out within a week.

—-

It was a little over a year later, and Sammy was rowing across a lake with Allison and Tom, where they planned on having a picnic to celebrate the anniversary of Tom and Alice’s entry into the real world. Sammy was happy that he’d chosen to be a part of it.

had found their place in a little town that housed the greatest hospice in New York State. The people out here had gotten used to having two sketchy, black and white people around. It had taken time, though. Sammy had gotten a job at the hospice fairly easily, but it took him a while to convince his boss to give Allison a chance. It had turned out to be a good place for them both to use their skills, including ones Sammy had developed during his time as an ink creature. It was far from a secular hospice, so Sammy could even use spirituality to comfort some of the patients. Alice occasionally took a soul home and fixed it up enough to land it in heaven, which she found to be a good balance between using her power and being more than it. Tom was also happy working as a lumberjack. Even aside from work though, it was a nice town, though- small, tight-knit, out in nature, had a nice church.

Not all of their transition was easy. It was very hard for Tom and Allison to discover that just because they’d been together when their were no other options, didn’t mean that their love would survive once they were free to make other choices. Alice and Sammy had had feelings for each other on some level since the moment they’d met, and became a couple pretty much the second that they were both single at the same time. The trio remained friends, though, with Tom living fairly close by and visiting often.

Sammy had readjusted some of his unused music for the modern age and had released them to some success. Susie had called him to congratulate him as soon as she saw a record with his name on it for sale. They exchanged stories about how they were doing. Susie was doing well. She was back in voice acting and was getting fairly good roles, and she was engaged now. That had been a couple months ago, and they hadn’t talked since. That was okay. Sammy had moved on. At their own pace, everyone had.

---

Do you guys think Sammy made the right choice? When I started writing this, I was thinking I’d end it with Sammy giving the portal to the sketch dimension to Henry, forcing himself to move on, and eventually marrying Susie.

#Bendy and the Ink Machine #breaking the time loop #my fanfiction #sammy lawrence #Allison Angel #susie campbell #sammy x allison angel

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