#oh I’m howling she didn’t fucking deserve that

[dhampling]

one fem!reader, 2k

“Mummy and Daddy’s evening off though, love? Really?”

“Oh shut up, you horrid thing. I know.”

-

astarion is a newly-minted girldad. that's it. that's the plot.

word count: 2,028

an: fluff, fluff n more fluff. no smut this time. soon. promise. parts ONE and TWO linked respectively but can be read alone.

-

“She’s asleep, Astarion!” 

You are wide eyed, furious; speaking in a whispered shout at your husband.

His pale hands flit across the ties of your shirt, frisking every which way they turn. You slap them off like flies on fruit.

“Even more reason to take advantage of the situation, if you ask me.” He murmurs hungrily in your ear, hands now circling down to your waist to tug on your waistband.

“It’s a fine job I didn’t ask you then!” Gritted teeth. Eyes aflame. Cornered against the dresser.

The crib beside your bed holds your infant daughter - skittish and fresh to a world wholly unknown in every sense of the word. She rests rarely and wails often for company in these early months of being alive with you both. Pallid and red-eyed yet beautiful beyond comparison and entirely yours. 

Seeing you together brings him joy unparalleled. 

He has, genuinely; never been prouder of anything of his doing - saving the Sword Coast is a drop in the ocean that is completely and utterly awash with love for your youngling. The mistaken mess of his own bastard elven vampiric genetics now born unto another. This time it would be right. The hunger, the rot; the abuse and neglect, they were hundreds of miles away.

He would make it right. 

But it was already so. She was here, and you all cried together in that dark, sweaty birth chamber. His great guttural sob at her birth, wracked with emotion he never knew he could possibly be permitted to feel on this immortal coil. Your genuinely feral howls of pain turned weeping with pure joy.

Two full days of agony unlike any you’ve ever endured and she had arrived, breathing; wailing; skin of a changeling in birthing viscera and lungs keen to rival any bellow of the Gods.

Astarion weakly clinging to you both; tears salting your lips and wetting her tiny head for hours on end. 

The great weight of another being on your shoulders. His sincere - yet cliche - fervently whispered oath to her just moments after being placed in his arms.

She is home. She is loved beyond any unit of measure. She will want for nothing, and she will never know anguish like that of her parents and their complex lives. No matter who she is or what she becomes, she has two people who are in her corner. She will be fierce if she so desires. Cunning. Witty. Roguish. Barbaric. Horrid. 

It didn’t matter. It never would. 

She was yours, and his; and she would always have a choice.

He had spoken with her for hours, the nurse whispered to inform you once you had awoken from the deepest slumber of your life. Even then when you looked he was hanging over her small form in her cot, running his lithe fingers over her tiny hands and feet in a repetitive soothing pattern. 

When you queried the topic of conversation he simply looked at you with a grin so lovesick it would flip your stomach completely. Butterflies.

-

“We deserve a bit of fun though, darling. Mummy and Daddy’s evening off? No?” 

Astarion pouts, wrapping his arms around you - still pinned against the dresser - and inhaling your scent deeply. 

You return the gesture and cough reactively.

“You stink of Noblestalk. I know your tricks.”

You playfully shove him away and tiptoe from your room to the landing, the pale elf hot on your heels.

“I have never stunk in my life, thank you.” He sulks. 

You pointedly stop to look at him, before picking up a basket of waiting laundry and descending the stairs. He follows.

“I’m trying to fuck you, dear. Don’t make it weird.” He rolls his eyes and huffs. 

You hum. 

“Corpses tend to smell awful.” 

“Warning.”

“You started it.”

“Touché.”

A beat of silence.

“Mummy and Daddy’s evening off though, love? Really?” 

“Oh shut up, you horrid thing. I know.”

“You’re getting rusty.”

He captures you in a kiss as you reach the bottom of the stairs, slow and patient. Holding your free arm to keep you close. 

“Look at me. I’m the epitome of the fatherly jester!’

Waggles his free hand.

‘I have been blessed with brains and humour anew by the birth of our daughter, clearly.’

He grimaces.

‘Not necessarily superior versions of either, but I - am - changed.” 

From the moment of her conception you’d felt it. An old wives’ tale. The night you’d agreed to mother a brood alongside him, you knew she was there. That she was her. That she was brewing as something brilliant deep inside you and nothing would be as it was ever again. 

He’d called it ridiculous, gestured wildly and rolled his eyes to the deepest hells, but a hazardous hope never left them until you’d far missed your bleed and it was confirmed to be true.

From that moment onwards, something shifted even further in Astarion. 

The domestic tether to your townhouse in the city - no longer just a convenience to remain a steady base for you both, but a fundamental part of his scene setting, to plant roots and grow together. Two centuries of rot and abuse, and his reward was finally nearing completion.

His nesting phase began far earlier than yours and with greater intensity than you could’ve matched even without the issue of your later-heaving belly. Entire pinboards tacked with decadent fabric swatches for every occasion - be it swaddling or nursery curtains. Tailor’s tape around his neck each morning and notebook in hand to note your measurements and take inventory of your wardrobe; ensuring you never looked awry or felt anything less than wholly comfortable. 

Because gods forbid ill-fitted clothing stand in the way of you and your brutal vomiting spells, obviously. A pointed click of his tongue as he fixes your sleeve.

In the middle months of your gestation, the typically discerning clientele who visited you and Astarion in your tailor’s store at the dead of night were the first to become privy to the news. Rounder by the week, flushed; brimming with a deep fatigue and yet somehow absolutely aglow.

Children to be fitted for yet another presentation evening placed sleepy hands on your belly with a saccharine softness. Their parents jostle you - sometimes in congratulations, sometimes to whisper in sheer curiosity. Dhampir are a notoriously rare breed, and you’re certain there were rumours of a third party involvement in the process.

‘No, no. We just tried really, really hard.’ You’d smile, as if in a blissful stupor from just the recollection. He’d turn to you with his ridiculously brilliant hearing; needle between teeth, brow raised; lips upturned in a slight quirk. Devilishly handsome, never anything less.

-

You drop the laundry basket in the kitchen corner. A stuffed bear falls from it. Clive.

A pause.

“You never asked what I did with that shirt, you know.”

It takes you a moment to recall which shirt he’s referring to. He sits at the table and watches you lazily.

“Which? The one for Mr. Chugley? I didn’t think it needed much by way of adjustment, at least?”

A stale piece of burnt toast sits on the counter untouched. You bite and chew and bite and chew like a woman who has never once tasted a morsel so divine; so untainted by the evils of hot butter and a filling bronze crunch.

“Oh - Bunt? Gods, no.’

He sips his stone-cold tea. A fresh film wobbles on top.

‘Bunt Chugley.”

A snort of laughter sends it straight back through his nose and out onto the table. You begin to choke on your toast.

“Bunt Chugley.” You giggle, crumbs spilling from your mouth.

Astarion stands to wipe himself down, creasing over with an escalating laughter.

“Bunt Chugley.”

He waggles his hands, eyes heavy lidded with lack of rest. 

He looks purely maniacal.

“That’s- that’s what we should-’

You stop for breath, cackling now; hands over knees for a brief moment.

‘We should call the next one Bunt Chugley.”

He launches into a wheezing fit.

“How- How would that even work, darling? Like Bunt Chugley Ancunín, or- or-”

“No! No, no. Just that. Bunt Chugley.”

You hold both hands to your eye as if framing a canvas, looking through the gap at the ludicrous proposition in front of you. 

He takes a moment to still. Smiles at you dopily.

Crosses the floor and brings both hands down to your waist with a gentle grasp.

“I am so sorry, my love.” He grins and holds his forehead against yours.

You look at him, dazed.

“Hmm?’

He simply looks up. 

A profoundly gut-wrenching wail becomes apparent to you from above. Your face falls.

‘Oh for fuck’s sake, Astarion.”

-

He’s up the stairs before you can comment further, swiftly darting back into your chambers and grinning with an unbridled joy - though, you note, with lack of rest that grin is beginning to look more insane by the hour.

“Sweetheart! My darling girl. Shush now. You’re sounding something absolutely wicked.”

You watch on from the doorway, arms folded; stale toast in hand and jaws meeting in a firm chew.

He’s far too good with her. 

It somewhat surprised you at first just how innately fatherhood came to him, but as he picks her up and cradles her intently it’s as if there are fractures of his own childhood coming back. How he was loved, how he was held. 

A piece of him, now alive and breathing again after all these years of death.  

He coos at her, bouncing her small frame gently in his arms and hushing her with each wail. It takes very little for soft mewls to take their place as she reaches aimlessly in his direction. 

He leans towards her grasping fingers and allows her to take one of his ringlets from the front of his head as he kisses her tummy. She’s enthralled by him; recognises him. She wants to know more of him. 

As he lifts his head her grasp remains firm.

“We have some work to do on your sleight of hand, I think. Not to worry.” 

Ever so gently, he unpicks her fascinated fingers and kisses them all in tow. Her face looks almost ready to crumple before he reaches for one final kiss on the very top of her head.

“There, now. All better. Back to sleep?’

A gurgle. A puzzled blink.

‘Absolutely. Mummy does look particularly radiant today, doesn’t she? I’ll be sure to send your regards.”

He catches the smile on your face. Winks your way.

“You’re getting the baby to flirt on your behalf now?” You tease.

“That’s the lady of the house to you. She was simply passing on her praises.” He whispers as he places her back into her crib and steps back fondly. Sidles over to you as you finish the last bite of toast and pulls you in for a soft kiss.

“Stop playing coy. I know you feel the same way I do.’

He whispers down at you.

‘You want another one, don’t you?’

A kiss on the very top of your head.

“You’re projecting.” You smile.

You can’t deny him for long, he knows this. You don’t particularly want to. 

Since becoming a mother you’ve taken to parenthood almost as naturally as he has; and when the topic has come up since you’ve struggled to say no and mean it.

“Think, though. The sooner we try again, the sooner we can begin building our little mercenary force.” He looks at you with the face of a man who thinks he’s just had a really good idea.

“Oh! Yes! You’ve sold me!’

You pull him into a long kiss, the kind that still makes you swoon after all this time together. He tastes like cold tea and smells so clinical you can’t help but laugh heartily as you pull away.

‘That Noblestalk is getting to me. Have a bath and try again with a little less?”

He scowls before narrowing his eyes in thought.

“Does that mean what I think it means?”

“It just might, my darling dearest.” 

You wink this time.

The bath starts running before you’ve fully made it back down the stairs.

[f4ggydog]

I am once again mentioning feral werewolf shauna shipman (I can't get enough)

I need to be sedated.

It took some time but I came back swinging anon!!!

shauna truly couldn’t get off enough of your taste and smell. she would kill a thousand people in the world if it meant she could get a hold of you permanently. shauna’s talons carve symbols of adoration and lechery into your skin. every bite she takes while she’s pumping her cock into your tightening hole leaves a black and blue illustration of her love. shauna would etch letters into your skin every night that fell upon you two if it meant never letting you go under any circumstances, no matter how dire.

but tonight wouldn’t be more merciful to you compared to the other nights. there was never a special occasion that caused for shauna to be tender and take care of you like a glass statue. you weren’t fragile in her own devilish eyes. no, you could take it. and you fucking would.

shauna grabs onto your hips and pulls them back, using them to steer you like a horse. the sound of ‘plap, plap, plap’ fills the room and both of your ears. shauna lowers her head, using the opportunity to roughly bite into your neck, tugging the skin between her teeth and fucking you like a beast in the night. cause she literally was a beast. your smell alone could make her cum spurt out instantly.

“you’re enjoying this too much,” shauna growls. “for someone being fucked like a piece of meat.”

“just keep going,” you whine and grab the sheets. “you’re so fucking big, baby. can’t handle it.”

smacking sounds persist. your body jerks and your stomach’s in knots. shauna’s cock feels so close to your cervix that you wonder if your brain is tricking you into thinking this is pleasure. fucking christ, did you really deserve to get used like there was no tomorrow?

shauna slams you into the bed and lands a hard slap on your ass. another flies down after another, sharp sounds hitting your skin and the wiggling of your body following the blows.

“don’t get fucking lazy on me,” shauna taunts. “my cum might go in your hair instead of your hole if you don’t stop your movements.”

you didn’t quite understand. didn’t your squirming cause more difficulty? shouldn’t she be perceiving it as less obedient? or maybe she really does enjoy the challenge of taming you?

“w-what if I cum before you?” you try to retaliate, knowing it’s a losing battle. who the fuck are you, thinking you can compete with shauna shipman?

“you’re a goddamn brat,” shauna howls, her orgasm nearing and the tidal waves already beginning to crash. “you’re lucky if I even let you cum tonight. i wouldn’t get so brave with your mouth.”

“you know your orgasm triggers mine,” you snort. “and there’s no way you’ll hold back this time.”

“fuck. you.” shauna punctuates each word with a thrust, her cock twitching and her balls straining. “oh fuck off, you little shit. fuck, im gonna breed you so good.”

then shauna gets an idea and pulls out of you. you whimper loudly at the loss of her penis, but she snatches you by your hair and turns you around. shauna forces you onto your knees and pries your mouth open, her nails raking your scalp.

“if you want to talk so much,” shauna snaps. “i’m gonna find a better use for your mouth. open up, doll. you don’t deserve to be knotted just yet.”

[breannasfluff]

“H-oly shit,” Harley sings from somewhere nearby. “What did these fuckers do to you?”

“Existed.” Jason's voice comes out a raw snarl, barely translatable by the helmet’s modulator. 

One of the thugs tries to pull off his helmet, which would cause it to explode and kill them both. Jason repays him by shooting him in the crotch. He deserves it for…something. Probably. They all deserve it. 

“The Alley is mine!” The declaration is fairly useless because the few people left are skittering away from him in terrified silence. 

Harley hops off the fire escape she was on and spins, landing one high-heeled foot right in one of the thug’s faces. He howls and drops to the ground, clutching at blood streaming from his face.

“This is the kind of violence I’m usually for, but I'm turning over a new leaf, yeah? Ives says the indiscriminate killing has to be cut down.”

“They deserve it,” Jason says. Even if he’s forgotten why, now. He’s not so far gone to attack those following the rules. 

“I’m sure they do.” Harley kicks one of the prone bodies, giggling when it moans and rolls over. “I think they got the message, Hoodie.”

“Don’t call me that.”

She ignores him, the bitch.

I was going to come see how you were doing.” A pause as they both survey the street littered with bodies. “I see you’re doing…well.”

“What the fuck do you want, Quinn.”

“Hood, baby, it’s like we aren’t even on first-name terms!” She minces over a body to hang off his shoulder, pressed against his side. If he didn’t know her heart belonged firmly to Ivy–who’d take his head off for ever touching–Jason might doubt her intentions. But this is Harley and that’s just her personality. 

She wasn’t with the Joker when everything…happened, which helps. She did spend a lot of time at his side, though, and is irrevocably linked to the bitch-ass clown in Jason’s head. Seeing Harley is always an interesting experience. Mainly where he tries to separate her from trauma. 

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re using violence to avoid your issues.” Harley latches onto his arm and pulls him away from the prone thugs. 

It’s probably for the best; any longer and they’d be full-dead instead of half-dead. Still, she’s pushing back the green, which only brings back his situation.

“I’m not up for listening to your bullshit, Harleen.” He stresses the name, trying to piss her off into leaving. “Why don’t you run back to your mistress?”

“Oh, defensive! You are a spicy one, aren’t you?”

He bares his teeth, hidden by the hood, but she laughs anyway and drags him on. “Come on, grumpy pants, let’s get a breakfast sandwich.”

“It’s the middle of the night.”

“All the more reason to have breakfast.”

Read the rest here

[oosleepyfaeoo]

How could you be so blind? - Final Chapter

Modern!Aemond Targaryen x Blind!Reader

Summary: Aemond sees you as the most beautiful woman in the world but you can't see that. (sorry I suck at summaries.)

Warnings: a LOT of fluff

Words: 1k A/n: English is not my first language. Masterlist

Part IV

“Normally, I would trust you when you say you have a surprise for me.” You say while playing softly with the hem of your dress. “But we have been driving almost for two hours and you have yet to tell me where we are going. I’m starting to think you are gonna kill me somewhere.” 

Aemond laugh and puts his hand on your thigh, squeezing it lightly. “It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you where are we going, right?” He hums. “Don’t worry, love. We are almost there.”  

It’s been almost six months since you and Aemond started dating. You both wanted to take things slow and be careful in public, not wanting to get the attention of the paparazzi.  

You told him you didn’t want to be a part of his famous world just yet, finding it suffocating to be under so much pressure from a higher-class society gaze. Aemond agreed quickly, understanding your feelings about his way of life completely.  

The only people knew about you two was Helaena, who couldn’t stop jumping in excitement. She is overjoyed to finally see her brother happy and that you are the source of that happiness. Cregan wasn’t surprised at all, saying that how Aemond followed you like a puppy made it evident that you two would end up together.  

You still can’t believe that you were with Aemond. The sexiest, most powerful man in the world. He is almost desired by all women and men. Every time you go shopping with him, there’s always a giggling mess of a girl asking for an autograph.  

Sometimes you think that you might not be good enough for him since having a blind partner might not be a perfect perk to have. 

But every time Aemond notices your dark thoughts, he grabs you by the waist and pulls you into his lap. Filling your face with sweet kisses and murmuring how lucky he is to have you, that nothing in the world could make him happy as you did. 

You feel the car come to a stop, Knight letting out a bark while he scratches his large paws against the window. Cleary excited to finally go outside.  

“Hey, buddy! Don’t ruin my car windows!” Aemond huffs, trying not to laugh when Knight gives him a side-eye.  

He walks out of the car, helping you get out before opening the door for Knight to get out. The massive dog starts running around, howling happily.  

A smile forms on your lips as you hear Knight having the time of his life. The smell of pines and fresh earth's scent hovered around you.  

“Wait! Are we in the countryside?” You were vibrating from excitement. You loved the countryside, it was your dream to buy a cute little house and live there peacefully. To grow your own little garden.  

Aemond grabs your hand and leads you into the house. “Hmm yes. I just bought this cottage, knowing you love peaceful places.”  

“Please tell me you just didn’t buy this house cause of me?!” You asked. 

“Hmm maybe....” He laughs.  

You huff and punch his arm gently. “You know I hate when you buy expensive stuff cause of me.”  

He pulls you to him, his hot breath fanning against your face. “You deserve everything I can buy for you, Y/n. I can even buy the moon for you.” He kisses you softly, humming lightly against your soft lips.  

You giggle into the kiss, making him smile. “I doubt you could buy the moon, Aem.”  

He raises his eyebrow and kisses your nose. “Are you challenging me, my love?”  

Your laugh stops when you hear his serious tone, knowing fully well that he might buy the fucking moon for you.  

“Don’t you dare, Aemond Targaryen!” you warn. 

Aemond turns and opens the door, letting you both walk inside the lovely cottage. “Oh my... My full name, that only means trouble.”  

You gave him a silly face and began to walk around, Knight always beside you. Making sure you don’t hurt yourself.  

The smell of fresh wood hovered the air as you explore the place. You carefully touch every piece of furniture in the house, and notice that they have some rustic details with a little bit of modern features.  

Aemond lights the fireplace and begins to prepare dinner while you sit on the sofa by the fireplace. 

“How long we will be here?” you asked as you pet Knight’s head. 

“Only during this weekend.” He says as he grabs two cups of wine and walks to you, letting the food cool down a little. “But... we could stay here forever...”  

You tilted your head in confusion. “Forever?” 

“I-I... What I mean...” Aemond couldn’t stop shuttering, his palms are sweaty from the anxiety of what he will ask you. “What I'm saying is that we could move here together.”  

You two stay silent for a while.  

You were too stunned to speak. Of course, you are excited about his proposal but at the same time, you think it might be a little early to move in together. You are just scared that he might get frustrated living with a blind person. That he will realize you will be a burden to him.  

“You are finishing your studies this year and I'm going to start to working at home so I thought we might...” He looks at you with his eye full of hope. “I know you are having those thoughts and no. I won’t get tired of you if we live together... I-I'm just tired of leaving you every night or day to go to my home. I always feel so empty when I get to my apartment after being with you. I just want to wake up every day with you in my arms. To see your beautiful smile first thing in the morning.” 

You take a deep breath and take his hand in yours, squeezing it tightly. This next step scares you deeply and you still think that it's still early but... he’s right. It kills you every time he goes home after a date, you just want to stay with him forever.  

“I-I want it... I want to live with you.” You murmur. 

“Really?” He cups your jaw, caressing gently your cheek. “Do you really mean it?”  

You nod, and tears start to prickle the corner of your eyes. “Yes! I really mean it!”  

He crashes his lips against yours, pouring all his love into the kiss. A soft moan escaped from you, letting him push his warm tongue into your mouth.  

You wrap your arms around his neck as he pulls you into his lap, your fingers playing with his soft locks.  

He pulls back, both of your lips swollen and red from the passionate kiss. “God... I love you so much.”  

You blush furiously at his words, his deep voice always makes a mess of you. “I love you too... To the moon and back.”  

He smirks as he gives you another deep kiss. “That much huh?... Maybe I really should buy you the moon.”  

You bite his lips gently, making him moan loudly. “I swear to God, Aemond. If you buy the moon, I will go back to my apartment.”  

“Only if I let you, sweet girl.” He pulls you into another kiss, laying down on the sofa with you on top of him.  

“Food?” You asked between kisses.  

He moves his hands down your waist to your thighs, squeezing them gently. “Food can wait.” 

Oh boy... It will be a long night. 

So here's the last chapter!! I hope you guys like it!

Tag list: @iiamthehybrid @cryptid-l0ver @papichulo120627 @thewintergoddess @bellameshipper @sweet-sunflower64 @bbyaemond @zenka69 @immyowndefender @dc-marvel-girl96 @deltamoon666 @uniquecroissant @melsunshine @sugarrush-blush @pineapplechuncks @heirofdemetra @sarcasticsweetlara @malynn @yentroucnagol @puffycreamcakes @kravitzwhore @padfooteyes @glame @tssf-imagines @fangirlninja67 @dahlias-and-marigolds @it-is-getting-better @mimischaos @m-indkiller @parkchaeyoung1997 @azaleapotterblack @danielle-leah1997 @bellaisasleep @rorawinters @yearninginpages @yentroucnagol @allyly @hanula18 @dopejellyfishfury @snh96 @itsabby15 @starkjedi @kyla44 @leef-leech @iloveallmyboys @aemondswifeisme @powellssaturn @judgementdayfan1 @mariamxdxd1212 @seamonkie

[mercymermaid]

okay dragon prince s6 was. a wild fucking ride

here's my live reaction and my post reaction

warning: obvious spoilers, really long, extremely incomprehensible, i also forgot half the non-main characters' names

------

live reaction:

JUST REALIZED DRAGON PRINCE S6 CAME OUT LET’S GOOOP

the last show i watched was lmk (besides nezha conquers the dragon king) so seeing them all so animated and actually humanoid is so satisfying

VIREN'S HANDS AND REACTION WHEN HE SEES CLAUDIA'S LEG. RAGDJGUFUJFJDDJBR ME TOO BUD ME TOOOOOO

also aaravos crying in the beginning jumpscared me because i didn’t realize it was him at first i thought it was a new va or smth 😭

ALSO NOOOO SIR SPARKLEPUFF 😭

screaming

claudia: kills her ‘brother’ and loses her sanity to save viren to go save aaravos

viren: nah i choose life

claudia: 😃 haha what

literally she’s sobbing because he’s trying to go back to katolis

oh the running animation is still shit

ughhhh the little humany movements

rayla’s hand being uncertain and lowering and going to her face when callum runs off w her blanket

and soren howling w zym is so real

CUTTING FROM “CAN WE TRUST JELLYBUG” TO THE FIRE WAS A MOMENTARY JUMPSCARE

“i have my blankie” that’s. rayla’s blankie.

okay i’m calling it they sent callum down there without a shot of him replacing the pearl so i bet they took the decoy

either that or the reason they didn’t put a shot is to not make us think that and they brought the actual peael in 💀

jm ever overthinking or a genius

no terry :(

naming a dragon pyrrah is crazy

also not me completely forgetting wtf happened in s5

completely forgot zubeia had her ass kicked

WHAT COULD YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS YOU ARE NOT A QUEEN

DAMNNNNNNN

how have i forgotten like everyone’s names mb

corvus deserves the world i remember why he was my favorite character when he actually had screentime

corvus and soren were husbands your honor

since when was corvus’s leg injured

was that in s5 and my dumbass missed it

but soren carrying him is golden

yeah it was in s5 im stupid just googled

please don’t let the mushroom mage be a villain he’s awesome

the split speech between janai and karim is awesome

and i need to rewatch the other seasons but. did they fix the shading?? or am i just being spoiled after lmk

JANAI AND AMAYA WEDDING LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

corvus and soren are fucking Best Friends Yes Homo i swear ighhjhhh

BUT JANAI AND AMAYA KISSING EARLIER WOOHOOOO LET’S HEAR IT FOR LOVING CARING POSITIVE HEALTHY YURIIIII

NO SHADOWPAW

warriors ass name

i forgot to mention they fixed rayla’s hypothermic forehead

oh claudia’s still alive??

the frozen ship speech

is so foreshadowing or a metaphor or smth cool

terry is genuinely such a good boyfriend

and rayla reading the diary is great

help not rayla reading the diary instead of trying to find supplies

is she crying bc of the sadass story or because she’s thinking of callum

terry do you not know how to brush hair

if there’s a not you grab the hair before the knot so it hurts less

what crisis did claudia go through to cut her hair

okay yeah stupid question

shadow monkey and the bait rip-off baby both cooing at rayla and callum sharing a bed is real

but corvus and soren sharing a bed would be better

CHRIST JELP WHY ARE THEY DOING THAY TO POOR RAYLA AND CALLUM

NO WAYYY

sobbing

DUMB BITCH KI ISS HER

THAT IS NOT A TIME TO BRING UP DARK MAGIC

also claudia honey i love your style but honey you need to fix your hair

OH TERRY MAKING HER A PROSTHETIC LEG SWEETIEEEE

they haven’t spoken at all this entire time

OH THEY KISS TOO

CALLUM YOU DUMB BITCH YOU��RE THE ONLY ONES

“exhales emotionally” is crazy

did their asses just. forget the Pearl

oh yeah they did

rayla’s cooked

oh no she’s fine

the guard bonking the other on the head is so real

how do they not recognize viren

blind ass bitches

DAMN OKAY EZRAN EAT THATTTTTT

im calling it

ep3 already and the only aaravos screentime we had was him crying (over leola i assume) (and callum’s flashbacks but they don’t count)

it’s another mystery of aaravos’s screentime season i see

in america the starscraper would cost 20000000 a month and would have the view of twenty other starscrapers

claudia is a material girl

and I’d get severe social anxiety being inside the starscraper

yikes aaravos has plot armor

“no one can save xadia” okay edgelord

damn not the side quest to go kill a snow monster 💀

last episode before i sleep

please give us actual fucking aaravos screentime

YOOO CLAUDIA IS IN THE INTROVNOW

WOAHHHH

referring to viren as the prisoner is WILD

yeah viren bud you did that to yourself soren had all right to scream at you

watch the snow monster be like aaravos’s pet 💀

the snowstorm isn’t dying down girl

oh nvm

oh yeah that’s not aaravos’s pet im stupid

i expected a plot twist like this

the celestial elves hearing about how the chosen two actually did this for themselves 👁️👄👁️

not astrid’s brother (im sorry i immediately forgot his name) immediately becoming timeblind

HELP NOT CALLUM IMMEDIATELY BEING CALLED EVIL

OH FINALLY AARAVOS CONTENT

oh nevermind it was ONE SENTENCE

buddy we saw you cry earlier you ain’t winning (toxic masculinity is tho!!)

OH I KNEW THAT FLY WAS A METAPHOR

okay one more episode i can’t

ohhhhh the guy was named kosmo whoops

that autocorrected to Komsomol

the fuck is Komsomol

okay yeah we’re not getting any aaravos content this season huh

season 7 is still mystery (though it’s gonna be the last season in mystery) so i assume that’s when shit happens

HOW DID AARAVOS HAVE MORR SCREEN TIME OUTSIDE OF THE SEASONS FUCKING NAMED AFTER HIM

saw the trailer yeah no aaravos is so getting released

I WAS SO RIGHT HE ACTUALLY BROUGHT THE FUCKONG CANDY ORB I CALLED I CALLED I CALLED I CALLED IT

viren trauma dumping to soren is crazy

viren sobbing sounds kind of aaravos sobbing

why is everything black and white when kosmo speaks

okay time line 🤩

timeblind fuck me dude

i love how expressive everyone is

damn astrid eat!!!

OHHHHHHH

THE WHOLE

UH

BLACK AND WHITE TJING WAS HIS FLASHBACK AND THEN CHANGING THE PAST AND FUTURE

OKAYTYYYYYY MAIN CHAARCTERRRRR

damn viren why’d you do kpp’ar dirty like that 😭

NAHHHHHH

rip buddy

no what happened to the spider

did they forget her on him 💀

STOP CUTTING FROM CALLUM PLUMMETING TO VIREN TRAUMADUMPING IS CRAZYYYYYH

what is viren doing anyway

writing a fucking autobiography

like how is this going to get soren to like him

yeah all that did not fit on that one piece of paper with his huge ass handwriting

IS THAT LEOLA

WHOS THAT PRETTY POOKIE

THE MERCIFUL ONE?.

all he needed was to go fly up really high and now he’s plot power protected 💀 no wayyyy

are they gonna tell him about the candy pearl tho 😭

IS HE STILL WRITING

JESSUSSSS

viren a sorry isn’t gonna help anymore

dumb bitch

oh thank god kosmo told his sister

viren should listen to kosmo

oh look at him making smart choices

go soren

YEAHHHH BURN I

It

oh the spider is alive 😁

okay callum be introspective

aswwwwww they’re fixing their past

FINALLLYYYYYYY THEY KISSSEEDDDDDDDDD UGHHHHHH LONG TIME COMING DIMNAZSESSSSSS

DUMBASSESSSSS

AWWWWWWWW THEY’RE SO CUTEEEEE

AND YET NO FUCKING AARAVOS

YOU HAVE THREE EPISODES LEFT.

USE THEM.

why the fuck are they going to the moon nexus

awwww them kissing like a high school couple is great

OHHHHH she got wings!!!

did they. tell callum and rayla that they brought the wrong pearl???

SOL REGEMCIS THAT YOU

“fix my wings and i’ll fly” yeah

oh they’re doing it rn nvm

how are they doing it….

oh runes magic wowwww

the soldiers slamming their staffs is off-beat

YEAHHHHH HE GOT NEW WINGSSSS

since when is corvus a musician

since forever my dumbass forgot about what i saw in the wiki

oh kazi is enby

cuteeeeeeeee

morning clouds is crazy

this is very discouraging poetry

YIPPEEEEE

oh fuck karim dude it’s her wedding be niceeee

run roh bald guy is infecteddddd

oh janai come on you’re the stupid and foolish one

ezran buddy you’re not gonna help 😭

dayum karim be niceeeee

ren pooks i appreciate the humor but not the time

gren

im stupid

ugh these two are so wholesomely in love it’s so sweeeetttttttttt im screaming

ughhhghghghghfhfhghghghggh

YEAHHHHHHHHHHH

HEALTHY LOVIJG CARING POSITIVE YURIII FOR THE WINNNNNNN

history cannot be forged without fire, without strength

damn

ezran bud honey

are we ignoring the archery girl what fucking help was she

ZYM EATTTTTTT

GO BRIDLELESSSSS

YESSSS GO ARCHER GIRL

who tf is archer girl anyway i forgot everything abt her

DONT SHOOT THE HORSES

thank god

yeah they’re cooked

help did the guy riding sol regem betray him

OHHHH THEY’RE GOING FOR KATOLIS

DAMNNNN THAT’S FUCKING FOULLL

WAIT OMG WAIT WAIT WAIT

SINCE THE REAL PEAEL IS IN KATOLIS

ARE THEY GONNA INADVERTENTLY DESTROY THE PEARL AND RELEASE AARAVOS

for being the crownguard soren is useless

ouch that’s a concussion

just use a fucking cannonball

yeahhhhh the pearl is fucked isn’t it

oh rip soren he’s a dead man

OHHH WAIT YEAH THE PEARL IS BEING DESTROYED

BALDIE IS POSSESSED

help making viren do magic is crazy

DARK MAGIC IS WORSEEEEE

oh yeah no

SOREEN NOOOOO

NAHHHHHHHHHH

he’s so dead

NO IS SOREN DEAD

NOOOOOO CORVUS NEEDS HIS POOKIE BEAR

OH SOREN LIVED????

OH SHIT

VIREN USED HIS OWN HEART

PLOT TWISTTTTTTTT

DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

only show in which i care about all the characters

HELP WHY DID SOREN LOOK LIKE THAT

oh right they became monsters or smth

it’s okay viren you died doing the thing you didn’t want to do

I AM A SERVANT IS CRAZYYYYYHY

imagine viren’s body lands on soren

nvm

WELL THEN WHAT DID THE GUY WANT WITH KATOLIS IF AARAVOS’S PEARL IS FINE??.?

claudia your dad is dead im sorry

OH IT AAS FOR AARAVOS

FINALLY AARAVOS CONTENTTTTTT

he looks so annoyed when soul regem looks away

TELL ME HE RELEASES AARAVOS BY ACCIDENT

what mystery

WAIT LUNA TENRBSI

I ATE HER

I ATE HER

I ATE YOUR GRANDMA

DAMNNNNNNN PLOT TWISTTTTT

DAMNNNNN SOL REGEM DAMNNNNNNNNNN

rip baldie

oh rip sol regem too

oh yeah they’re both dead 💀

crazy ass way to go imo

okay bye bye star bitch you still have an episode and a half to prove yourself

terry is right

okay ignore everything terry justbsaid

claudia honey good luck

see now THAT is sobbing

AARAVOS GO AWAY YOU MANWHORE

OHHHHHH THE PEARL

OHHHHHHH CLAUDIA WILL RELEASE HIM OR SMTH

THAT’S FUCKIGN CRAZZYYYDYSHBEVKJSDBIFUGRWLUBRSVIF S

ohhh they’re at the moon nexus

still dk why

ohhhhhhhhhh the coins!!

fake quasar diamonds calling it

anyway i called that the pearl was fake and i called katolis’s destruction leading to aaravos being freed

ARE THEY FREEING HIM RN

CRAZZYYYYYYY

TERRY IS SO REAL

AARAVOS LET HER DEAL W HER DEAD DAD IN PEACE

claudia why do you want to help him

BUT YES IS HE FINALLY GONNA GET RELEASED LET’S GOOOOOOOO

calling it he gets released at the end of the last episode

and then we have to wait for s7 to actually get content

please. all i want. is a scene with him just. being overwhelmed by existence.

which isn’t gonna happen bc he’s the Mysterious Overpowered Villain where any weakness we saw from him was him sobbing over Leola

if that doesn’t happen im writing it i swear to god

NO THEY NEED THE QASAR DIAMOND TOOO

COME ON DUDE

OHHHHHH

THE GEM IN VIREN’S STAFF

IS THE QASAR DIAMOND THAT’S SIPPOSED TO BE IN THE CORONA

CRAZYYYYY

OHHHH THEY’RE RELEASING HIM

PLEASPELEPWSLELWPALSLEOWLALDE

help did they fail

dumbass bitches

LAST EPISODE

IF HE DOESNT GET RELEASED

I AM GOING TO SHOOT MYSELF

help why does intro claudia still have long hair

i was so right about him being released late wasn’t it

I WANT A SCENE WHERE WHEN HE GETS RELEASED HE GETS HIS SHINE BACKKKKK

okay is aaravos gonna traumadump now

claudia doesn’t know how to cast spells with love

that’s pretty sad

OHHHHHH HE’S TRAUMA DUMPING ABOUT LEOLAAAAAA

UEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

UGHHHHH SHE’S SO CUTEEEEEEE

LEOLAA WAS SO CUTEEEEEE

im telling her to save her family fuck runaan (i forgot who he is)

ighhhhh lwk they should have an older version of zym available for pfp usage

“please don’t die” eloquent!!

“what happened to you” honey love pooks those are soul fragments

this isn’t who you are! you’re broken! but i can make you whole again!

rayla, honey… are you gonna sing fight song next

oh now she’s faced with options

go back to save runaan

or go and save her parents

HELP IS THE PEARL A MODEL OF HIS HOUSE??? THAT’S FOUL AS FUCK

yeah leola’s abt to die isn’t she

that cube hole was not big enough for the cube

OH HE’S SO KINDDD

NOOOOO LEOLA

GOLDEN DRAGON

DAMN SOL REGEM DID YOU TAKE HIS KID

OH

AARAVOS ON A FLOATY PLATFORM (IN TRAILER) ISNT HIM BEING RELEASED IT’S HIM W LEOLA

leola is fucked

AWWWWW AARAVOSSS

OHHH MERCIFUL ONE!!

DAMNNN KILLING THEM BOTH IS CRAZY

is she not saving her parents??

OHHHHHH

THEY’RE DYING

YIKES

OHHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S WHAT THAT MEANS

ALLOWING THEIR SOULS TO COMBINE BECAUSE THEY CANT DIE OTHERWISE

OKAYYY MAIN CHARACTER AARAVOS

how did he get his daughter tho

who did he fail

*rail

WHY DID HIS VOICE CHANGE LIKE THAT

bro is sobbing

OHHH LEOLA THAT LOOKS PAINFULLLLLO

LEOLA’S LAST WISHHHHHHH

DAMNNNN

BRO CRIED LONG ENOUGH TO MAKE A SEA

DAMN BRO

yeah he just trauma dumped to claudia and terry

oh she’s bringing back runaan???

oh he’s good now

“i’m a monster” yeah you’re showing that

you’re still trying to kill her buddy

HELP WHAT

HUHHHHHHHHHH

WHAT’S THAT

SHE’S HIS DAUGHTER???

oh i see

so she let her parents pass on and instead went w runaan is crazy

oh no she just got a lotus looking thingy

no parents

oh runaan exists as a pretty flower now 💀

YES TERRY TALK SENSE INTO HER

aaravos watching terry tell claudia that his love is twisted: 🧍

okay so claudia did not have a redemption arc

goddamn

OHHH THEYRE SIMULTANEOUSLY BRINGING BACK AARAVOS AND RUNAAN

CRAZZY SHITTTTT

THAT’SNFUCKING WIDLS,WOD

how did her first attempt look any different than this 💀

oh

i see

terry is regretting his choice of gf

PLEASE LET AARAVOS’S RETURN BE DRAAMTIC PELASEESSA

help why is runaan nearly naked

did he just lose his clothes

poor guy didn’t deserve that

HELP IS AARAVOS GONNA BE NAKED TOO 😭 GIVE THE MEN SOME DIGNITY

YOURE KIDDING KIDDING ME

THEY SHOW RUNAAN GET BRIUGHT BACK

THRY SHOWNCALLUM GASO

AND HE’S FOCUSING ON KATOLIS

AND NO

FUCKING

AARAVOS

I TOLD YOU HE WAS GONNA GET BROUGHT BACK AT THE END OF THE LAAT EPISODE INN THR SHITTIEST CLIFFHANGER KNOWN TO MAN

YOU’RE FUCKING KDDING ME

YOU’RE FUCKIGN HOKIHJ

ohh yippee janai and amaya can have an actual wedding!,

OH FUCK EZRAN DOESNT KNOW ABOUT KATOLIS

SHITTTTTTTTTTT

HE’S ABT TO FIND OUT POOR UGY

YES SHOW AARAVOS

PLEASE

let”smog

YESSSSSS FINALLLLYYYYYYYY

oh he’s not naked

WHY IS HE SO BIG HELP

BRO REALLY DID SWALLOW JANAI’S GRANDMA

EXPLAINS WHY HE MANAGED TO LITERALLY CRY AN OCEAN

every aaravos-comes-back fanfic punching the air rn

make him smaller i don’t like this wtf

WAIT HOLD ON IT DONT MAKE SENSE

IN THE FLASHBACKS

AARAVOD WAS NORMAL SIZED

IS HE JUST HYPER MAGIC

AND THAT

WAS THE SHITTIEST WAY

TO END

THE

SEASON

IM GOJ; TO SHOOTVMYSELF

OHHHHH THE LAST LITTLE CREEITS DRAWING IS AARAVOS WITH LEOLA MY HEARTTTTTTTTT

------

post reaction:

okay wow now wasn't that a season!!!

salty about the fact that they released aaravos at the very end, but i lapped up aaravos's story and his angst like a kitten to milk

loved it, wish s7 was out, and wish his release was a tad more dramatic because! he has been imprisoned for centuries! let him have a breakdown, he deserves one!

also not me managing to predict plot twists 💀💀

anyway if you made it this far, have some sunfire cake 🍰🍰

[koibitogata]

sage forest mental institution.

chapter 2. in which you try to unfuck your situation, but you get fucked all over again anyways. 2.8k words

You awoke to two men standing over you, and as you slowly regained your bearings, you realized you were on the hard concrete floor, and those two were Masky and Jeff, and they were yelling at each other.

“YOU’RE JUST A WEAK HUMAN WITH A DISGUSTING COMPASSION FOR HUMAN LIFE,” Jeff half-sang half-yelled at the other.

“YOU’RE GETTING IN THE WAY OF OUR ESCAPE,” retorted Masky loudly.

You’d had enough. Raising two fists, you targeted their crown jewels, sending both doubling over to the floor. You heard a “fucking bitch” drowned in pain, most likely from Jeff. You sat cross-legged between the two sprawled on the floor, an “oh I’m gonna feel this for days” coming from Masky.

I’m about to get killed anyway according to Jeff, you thought, and so you grabbed both by the hair, eliciting howls from both of them. “My balls, my hair, my balls, my hair,” moaned Jeff.

“Shut up, this is what we honestly deserve,” grunted Masky. Mm, handling patients roughly, you thought to yourself, what great work ethic.

You took a deep breath before continuing.

“What,” you began, “is going on for one of my patients to burst through a window, choke me, and for the other one to come running and attack the other?”

They both stayed silent. One—Masky—looked to the other, and seemed to reach a silent agreement.

One second you were in control, and the next you were on the ground again, your skull colliding with rough concrete, oh how head trauma seemed to love you, and the breath pressed out of your lungs as Masky held you to the ground. Of all things, you thought, you could get a better look at him now. Brown hair and eyes with prominent brows and sideburns, mid to late 20s, a far more human-looking person than Jeff, who stood to the side, holding a glass shard, ready to pierce your throat.

“Keys,” said Masky calmly, but you knew it was actually a demand, and if you couldn’t meet that demand, you’d die. Likely swift and painless, but death nonetheless. Or maybe the blood would enter your lungs and you would drown in your own blood. You didn’t want to think about it, with all the shit you’d been through today. But it was because of the events of that day that you lost the grip on your conscience and humanity, and choked out a weak “wait”.

And they actually somehow waited. You saw your chance, and took it.

You took in whatever air you could, and breathed out, “Keys in back, follow me.” A beat passed before Masky pulled you up by your collar, with Jeff’s glass shard following. Both stared at you expectantly.

“Well?” Snarled Jeff unkindly.

“Uh.” An intelligent response, once again, before Masky pulled you forward roughly. It then registered that now you had to follow through with your lie, and that you probably couldn’t let violent asylum patients out into town, and that Andrea didn’t even give you any keys in the first place because she probably expected you to let them die.

Wait, they’d killed people before me in this asylum? Explained why Andrea was so eager to get out, and why she was so cranky upon your arrival. Maybe cranky didn’t suit a situation where you were supposed to fear for your life. Okay, maybe they killed those at the main branch of the asylum.

Your feet obediently walked, doing you a favor because you had no clue where the keys were. You prayed that your feet would lead you to the main counter, where you could hopefully rummage around for keys, and buy yourself time, whether it be figuring out which key worked, or just rummaging around in general.

“So…” you began, voice echoing throughout the empty halls—their yells earlier had such noisy echoes, it hurt your ears—causing both men to snap their attention to you. “Are you two, like, friends, or—“

“No,” snarled Jeff. “You think I would be friends with a pussy like him?” He scoffed. “Actually, why the fuck am I talking to you?” He questioned, and examined the shard in his hand, as if he was about to jab it into your neck any time now. You wanted to bank on your usefulness to them by being able to find the key, but you had no idea if they actually needed you to find the key, or if they would realize soon that they didn’t actually need you. Why couldn’t they bust out of their cells like Jeff did? Then you realized nearly all the cells here were maximum security and didn’t have glass windows like Jeff’s did.

What kind of poor asylum design was this?

Maybe the keys were cards. Maybe the keys were actually a set of codes. Maybe the keys were both. Maybe—

The front desk was in sight, and you gulped. You hadn’t finished scheming your escape from two crazed murderers. What happened if you escaped, anyway? Let loose two whole violent patients—one of whom was an actual murderer—to the town? Wait, how did Masky escape, anyway? Wait, how many friends did they have to let loose?

You’d get your answers in due time. For now, hands shaking, you rummaged through the compartments, the drawers of lanyards, notebooks, and pens.

“Oi,” threatened Jeff, “If you take any longer, I’m gonna suspect that you don’t actually know anything…”

You gulped. The only thing saving you right now was your uniform. If they hadn’t been delivered to you last minute, you might have showed up in civilian clothing, prompting them to deem you useless and for Masky to let Jeff loose on you. But for now, you fumbled and fumbled, until you finally came across a drawer. Second to the left, fourth down, keycards.

Hands still shaking, you grabbed the keycards bound together by rubber bands. None of them were labeled, as you’d expected in this very strange asylum at this point, and hoped that they were actually access cards.

“Wow, well done,” drawled Jeff. “Finally did something useful, huh?” He spoke as he stepped over to grab your chin, tracing your cheek with the glass shard in hand. You flinched, causing the shard to dig in deeper and widen the already wide grin on his face. It wasn’t until Masky glared at him that he stopped. “Fine, fine,” he groaned. “But I get the kill later.”

Masky sighed. “Come,” was all he said as he turned on his heel, and Jeff shoved you forward.

You found yourself being led to a cell where it seemed another in their group resided, though you couldn’t tell what they looked like, till the keycard surprisingly unlocked the door to reveal the occupant, a blond man with blue eyes.

“Brian,” said Masky.

You don't know what came over you, what possessed you to do this, but in a spur of genius, you slowly backtracked, slipping past Jeff, who grabbed the keycards for himself. You needed to think quick. Move quick, and assess the other three’s positions quick. Adrenaline pumped in your veins.

The guy named Brian was slowly standing up to move out of the cell. Quick.

Masky was stepping forward to help him up, in a strange show of compassion for, as Jeff put it, human life. Quickly.

Jeff made the mistake of stepping past you to stand alongside Masky.

NOW.

Faster than your mind could process it, your foot shot out, catching a surprised Jeff, and sending him crashing into Masky, who fell onto the padded floor near Brian, who jumped aside. Almost as if out of an anime, you felt strength surge within you, and you knew exactly what you needed to do.

You slammed the door close with a satisfying click and beep.

All three men stared at you through the gaps between the bars on the door. You stared back, heart pounding so hard in your chest you thought it might explode. And all hell broke loose, screaming within the cell, Jeff pounding on the door, calling you strings of profanities that you could never dream of recreating, Masky looking at you in shock and anger, and Brian staring at you in awe? Shock? Confusion? Anger? Honestly, the rage in Masky’s eyes shook you to the core. You never imagined that a human’s eyes could hold such intensity of emotion.

Swiftly, he got up, shoved Jeff away from the bars, eliciting even more violent screams and threats from the latter, and grabbed the bars on the upper half of the door.

“You,” he seethed. But he never continued. Instead, he rammed himself against the door, again and again, its hinges rattling and threatening to warp and bend.

So you turned tail and ran. You ran and you ran, and you knew that if they got out of the asylum, outside of it was the first place they’d check, so you ran, turning and twisting corners, and sliding down to hide against a wall, panting and huffing.

You couldn’t believe it. You couldn’t believe that you actually pulled that off! You wanted to jump and cheer and scream for joy. And you wanted to stop yourself from doing that, given your current situation, so you compromised and settled for internal celebration. And you celebrated for a grand total of about 2 seconds, before you heard the impossibly loud thunder of a metal door crashing to the ground, distant yells, and thudding footsteps, many of them, and you accounted for three in your head.

So much for taking care of patients.

“Interesting,” said a voice next to you, startling you. It was by a miracle that you clamped a hand over your mouth at the last minute before you could actually let out a screech.

Chuckling, a tall man (how had you not noticed him) peered down at you from within his cell. A row of sharp white teeth greeted you, like a shark, surrounded by grey skin. You could explain the sharp teeth, maybe he filed them down, and the grey skin even, maybe he had some vitamin deficiency combined with no sunlight, but his eyes.

You couldn’t explain where his eyes were.

Black liquid oozed from what seemed to be cavities where his eyes were supposed to be. He had no eyes, and thus no vision, according to common logic, so how was he peering through bars at you? How was it that you couldn’t see his eyes, but somehow he was looking right at you, grinning?

He chuckled again, deeply, and put more of his weight on the door, leaning on the bars he held. “What’s your name?”

You stumbled over your name. It was an amazing stumble that deserved a gold Olympics medal. Your name rolled off his tongue smoothly once you actually let out a coherent version of your name.

“I’m EJ. E for Eyeless, J for Jack. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he greeted. So he really was eyeless. An insane patient with manners. You stopped yourself at that point in your train of thought, for the two you knew out of the four so far were violent criminals, and this one could be no different, with his frightening set of teeth. Just what did he do with those teeth? Eat raw meat?

“I’m, uh. Um. Nice to meet…you?” Everything you were saying today was so intelligent.

He grinned at you. “I see you met Jeff, at least. And two others, I believe, from what I hear,” he says lowly, almost as if out of consideration for your situation, so that the other three wouldn’t catch onto your position. As you were about to run from him out of reflex, you know, as people usually do when they meet someone creepy right after a scary encounter with crazed murderers, he said, “Don’t worry. I’m not here to get you killed. It’d be nice if we could talk. Been here a while with no company except Jeff to sneer in my face that he’s gonna take the bodies of his victims and toss them into a pile where I can’t take their kidneys,” he sighs.

Kidneys?

“Are you… a cannibal or something?” You asked cautiously.

He rewarded you with another grin. “That would imply that I eat others of my own species,” he answered. “So I suppose I used to be a cannibal.”

Amazing. On top of being a cannibal, he was deluded into thinking that he wasn’t human. Though, if he wasn’t human, it would also explain the fact that he had no eyes. On another note, you had no idea what to say in response. You very timidly asked, “Do they…taste good?”

EJ roared with laughter. “Oh, yeah. Sometimes they taste like nothing, sometimes they taste amazing. Depends on how hungry I am,” he said as he shrugged.

Ten seconds of silence passed as you thought hard about what to say next to a delusional, crazed murder-cannibal. Then you swore you heard thundering footsteps. They were getting closer.

They were getting closer.

Your eyes widened in horror as you realized what EJ did, with his uproarious laughter. And he knew it, too, judging by the smirk on his face.

“Over here!” He hollered.

“YEAH, I FUCKING KNOW,” came Jeff’s distant reply.

Your brows twisted, and you did the first thing that came to mind: run.

But today, your collar was being tortured, as EJ’s surprisingly slender arm passed through the stupidly wide gaps between the bars (why were they so far apart? That’s some horrible security measure.) to grab the collar of your uniform, tugging you back, lest you be choked to death. And he pulled you back hard, judging from how hard your body slammed against the door.

You wanted to cry. You wondered what would happen to you now that you’d angered two, no, three madmen, one of whom was especially deranged. WhatthefuckdoIdowhatthefuckdoIdo—

To your horror, but just as expected, the three men caught up to you. In what you realized would be your last moments, you thought it pretty funny that three man were barreling straight at you in hospital gowns.

You cringed and expected impact.

The hand holding your collar began to vibrate, almost as if shaking and straining against some force. Cautiously, you cracked your eyes open to peek.

EJ’s gray hands were the only thing stopping Jeff’s fist from hitting you in the face.

“Hey, man,” growled Jeff. “Whatcha gonna do next, friendly fire? From inside that door?”

The noise that ripped itself from EJ’s throat next could only be described as inhuman. “I want her kidneys.”

Jeff was rendered speechless. “Dude, you can just have her kidneys AFTER I kill her, okay?”

“No,” insisted EJ childishly. “I wanna eat her alive.”

You whimpered. You had no idea what was going on, you had no idea what was going to happen, and you had no idea when he was going to eat you alive.

I’m gonna die as food to a cannibal.

“Please,” you begged, seeing it as your last resort. “I’ll do anything, anything, just keep me alive and in one piece. Please.”

Jeff seemed to pause and think, making a whole show of it by tilting his head to the side and looking diagonally upwards, even letting out an exaggerated “hmmmm”. Then he snorted. “Nah, just kidding.” He brought his hand up again to strike, when EJ roared, an inhumanly loud sound that had your hands snapping up to protect your ears, as well as Masky and Brian, was it? Only Jeff seemed unaffected.

“Jeez. You fallin’ for her or somethin’?” Scoffed Jeff. “Do whatever. Me, personally, I think I’ll go free Toby so Slendy won’t kill me for leaving his precious proxy behind or whatever, and then,” he got way too close to your face for your own comfort, “I’m gonna massacre your whole village, and I’ll drag you along so you can watch,” he cackled.

You could only describe your current impression of him as the evil witch from Snow White.

“I don’t know them,” you said intelligently.

Apparently, it really was intelligent of you. Jeff went silent for a bit.

“What.”

“Yeah, I don’t know them. Moved here two weeks ago, never talked to any of them,” you lied, trying to prolong your lifespan of about 30 seconds.

The man behind Masky—Brian—scoffed. “Can you just kill her, let EJ eat her and fucking free Toby already? You’re all so fucking childish, fighting over who gets to kill whom.”

You knew you were fucked.

lowkey i am ashamed of my writing abilities (or more precisely, lack thereof) and of how this chapter was written. if i could i'd rewrite.)

chapter 3 is out.

[fair-night-starry-tears]

I’m sparing y’all from the angst but I had a thought how the villains meet Fiona Garten. And all fucking realize. They have brought the dangerous weapon and she’s on the maidens team

- muts ocs

- Fiona and Aqila and Yuu and Yuui are my ocs

- all villains wonder who fed this young feral girl the materials to be an ass whopper

- I wanted an excuse for Fiona to waste Clayton with a statue. He looked like he deserve it.

- also I’m adding a Twst Clayton oc me and @adrianasunderworld made that has beef with Davie and also a dick to everyone that even Kalim can’t stand him

- Kalim @ Twst Clayton: i hate you. Shut up *losing his patience and menacing smile*

- Davie @ Twst Clayton getting his ass whoop: GET DUNKED ON BITCH

@adrianasunderworld @mangacupcake @writing-heiress @the-weirdos-mind @skboba-stars @nproduction626 @rose-tea-and-strawberries @anxious-twisted-vampire

- - -

Today was another fight, meant for the best. It was at a beautiful garden where it held a treasure. The villains and maidens had to retrieve it, as it meant for good purposes. It was Heartslabyul, Ignihyde, and Diasonmia fight. Along side with Gaston and Clayton. Along side Clayton was his lackey, Thad. They were all in the large garden field. So the maidens and villains had to fight freely. But, unbeknownst to them a civilian was watching form the distance.

A young teen was watching this, as she had watched from a distance in a shed. She knelt down, the girl was Fiona. She was watching colorful but amazing women fighting, oh yeah some cool looking boys, but she looked in awe at the girls. She wanted to help, but she knew as her image as a civilian would be used as a obstacle. Then she look at her gloved hands, the girl have something the villains don’t have. Or something they would want. She made a risky decision. And decided to put the gloves down and enter the fray.

///////

While the maidens and villains were fighting, on the corner of Isabelle eyes. She noticed the hiding girl making a dash to the rows of statues, she shouted for the maidens to reach to her. As she was near the villains. However, the girl was caught. As Thad held the girl high in the air. Grasping the girl throat. “What a hopeless little girl!” He shouted, with a heartless laugh. The maidens paused, as the villains had to sue their moral. As Fiona saw this, she taken this. “You wicked bloat! Take this!” As she grasp the boy arm. And crushed it. Making the boy howl in agony as his bones were crushed. The villains immediately turn. Only to see the girl standing, lifting a statue as if it weigh like a simple barbell.

Fiona had her head facing down, rising it high to reveal her light blue green eyes has turn to a deep red color. “Battah’ up you lot!” Swinging the statue to the boy. Launching Thad across the field, the girl huffed. As she made a wide grin. “Don’t yah think I’m some weak lil gal!” She shouted. “I got the blood of twelve men I do!” She lifted the statue high, and launched it full speed at Clayton. Making him shoot out the garden with it. As the girl laughed. The maidens have a moment and lunged in to attack the villains. With a surprising hand from the girl who help aid them in the fight. The fight ended much faster as the villains retreated. The girls did confront the young girl and scolded her for recklessly ends herself. And the fight could’ve taken her life.

Fiona sighed as she sat on the ground on her knees, understanding what she had done. But she did witness them, though she promise she won’t tell a soul what she saw. Though, she did told them no one would ever believe her. “Sorry I jumped in, laddies….” She said. “Just wanted to help…” she said. Freya did Pat the girl head, “and you did. But next time be careful.” As one was going to heal her neck, she was surprised. “The wounds. Where are they?” As any grasp from Thad leaves marks. Fiona didn’t have any. “Oh? The little bruises? Yah. I heal faster. But my ma and pa said I was the healthiest lil gal in da worl’!” And the maidens were confused.

No one in the day of age can have super speed, strength, excessive powerful leap and overpowering healing. It was very weird. As the girls were about to leave, Fiona shouted. “Wait!” The maidens stop, she ran to them as she pulled out a crystal. “Is this what you lots lookin’ for? Cuz I found it in my flower beds!” Fiona explains she was a normal girl (Estella: I press x to doubt that because you fucking threw that statue and busted that tree and threw it!) a normal girl and she was just working the garden for the gala. That’s when she saw the Crystal and took it with her. Of course the girl had the Crystal the villains needed. The maidens thank the girl for storing it and returning it to them. And left the premises. Fiona made a smile as she waved goodbye to them. “What a lovely crew. Truly amazing.“ as seeing the powerful girls fight made her feel comfortable. After all.

She was an experimentes child to have such abilities. Such of a shame tho. She would’ve loved to introduced them to her friend who really found the Crystal first. As a demon hound walked out from a pile of bushes and turned into a human teen boy. Standing beside the girl. “You know milady. They do seem magical. Surely you could’ve asked me to handle the fight. Why didn’t you call for me?” “Because Junior. I want to fight my own battles. Come on now. Let’s go fix the garden. The lasses from higher levels ain’t gonna wan’ their gardens like dis.”

[evansbby]

what are your top 3 movies of all time?

I DONT KNOW JSJSJSJSJ

This question is way too hard! How can I pick just three??? And I always blank 😭😭😭 I really love Howl’s Moving Castle like the visuals are so pretty like the flowers in the field and Howl’s bedroom and some of them are quite scary and stick with you like the witch of the waste I think? And those crow bird soldier creatures. I also love how subtly they show Sophie looking younger despite her curse at times when she is happy or excited or feeling youthful and it reflects on her physically! I also love the animation of the breakfast hehe oh and I love calcifer! And I had a crush on Howl when I was young but who didn’t??? I love most of the Ghibli films but if I had to pick just one it would be this one!

And I think another favourite movie of mine is Shrek 2 and this is unironically! I just think it’s such a flawless perfect movie and a rare instance where the sequel is miles better than the already good first movie! The climax scene alone of Shrek and friends invading the castle with fairy godmother singing holding out for a hero and Mungo getting attacked by hot milk (RIP) and it’s literally perfect honestly whoever thought up that scene deserves all the awards! But apart from that, it’s just super slick and funny with the parodies like the show “cops” being “knights” and all that! And the emotional scenes are so good too!! Literally the perfect animated movie!

And I guess if I had to pick a real life movie it would be the shawshank redemption! I just love feel good movies like that where the protagonist actually gets such a satisfying ending and the corrupt warden etc all get fucked. Like usually I’m so iffy about movies and when it’s random middle aged men in the movie I really do not find it appealing but I gave this movie a chance with my dad and bro and I loved it soooo much! Literally it’s so good! One of the best movies ever made!

The ones I listed above aren’t my top three they’re just some of my fav ones that I thought of first. Other movies I LOVE are: 3 idiots (this one is just soooo good!), django unchained, rang de basanti (any desi people who haven’t seen this movie yet really should), white chicks (idgaf this movie is iconic I can’t tell you how many times we rewatched this as kids), mean girls (self explanatory), princess diaries 1, spirited away, AND SO MANY MORE BUT I CANNOT REMEMBER!!!!

[mikavlcs]

Hello darling!

Let me tell you, there's nothing better to do during your work break than reading your stories.

Bitch me too, the fuck. I also don't like sharing. I don't have any explosives or torture devices but if I did, they'd be mine and mine alone.

Okay, one. I also decapitated my dolls. And I tore off their limbs... fun times. And two: Pugsley tasted weak. This had me howling, this is SUCH a Wednesday thing to say. I can't, it's hilarious 😂 Poor Pugsley though.

When Pugsley gets bitten I don't care but as soon as Thing gets hurt I will throw hands!

Lol, of course Morticia and Gomez are encouraging Wednesdays torture. They really love her psychotic and maniac dwarf 😁

Well, I agree with Wednesday. Her behavior is reasonable...why would anyone be allowed to taker her things. Let Wednesday express herself and protect her stuff!

Oh no, poor Wednesday. She grew attached and has to deal with it now. How unbearable and painful.

Aww, Wednesday is considering Enid hers. Only she can insult her, that's adorable.

Let's all take a minute of silence for Wednesday cause she is, unfortunately, in love. Poor girl is suffering so much.

Honestly if I saw Wednesday threatening me with a knife I would run TOWARDS her not away from her...

Oh Wednesday. Obviously she doesn't know what Twilight is but that dusk line was too cute 😍 who knew that a homicidal psycho could be so endearing

Lol, if Wednesday would kill for me then I'd let her. You can't stop a psycho from her true nature 😉

Ha, I love the Xavier slander here. Keep it coming!

Oh girl, Tyler is dead. He's not giving up. Wednesday, let's go kill him! Get rid of that bland and boring boy.

Aww, Wednesday enjoys Rs company more than being alone in jail. Who would have guessed that.

"He either got the message or the sheriff would be burying his only son" Omg savage let's gooooo

Lol, Wednesday is competing with Thing for Rs attention. Honestly Thing would win. Every single time...

Clearly Wednesday is only agreeing with R cause her sanity is at risk. Totally not because she is whipped as fuck. Nope.

Thing and Wednesday hurting/pranking people together. I wanna see that!

A sassy and insulting Wednesday really is my favorite. I can't get enough of her. She's just so incredibly sexy and hot when she is threatening someone. Tyler obviously deserves it though. Wednesday is so proud of herself, I love that. She really is the most lovable and endearing killer there is.

And obviously big no, that story didn't suck at all! Don't put yourself down, your writing really is incredible! 😁

hi! skdhd i’m glad i can entertain you at work

same same, i don’t like sharing. idk if i would horde torture devices, but explosives??? absolutely. and you tore your dolls limb from limb? they didn’t deserve that 😭

the pugsley joke is one my favorites i’ve written…i always make myself laugh in the stupidest ways 💀. as a wenclair fan, i will shove enid into every story possible! it’s a full time job, just like slandering xavier and tyler<3 i’ve honestly never seen twilight either so-

thing would definitely steal all of my attention too, he’s best friend material! and him and wednesday pranking students would be funny…might have to incorporate that in a future story.

as always thank youuuu for reading and taking the time to type all this out!! reading these is always so much fun, your thoughts are so funny 😭💞

[the-dalseum-duet]

the lingerie incident

a goofy excerpt with some peak Kai moments @svwhssftr

“There you are, babydoll,” Noeul said in a low, hushed tone as Charlie exhaustedly stumbled into their room. She kicked off the 3-inch stilettos shackling her feet and unlatched the heavy jewels dangling across her collarbones. Her heels met the cool hardwood, anchoring her to reality. Her late nights with Noeul reminded her of home, and she desperately needed that comfort.

“How many damn interviews am I going to do?” she mumbled, shaking out her curls as she sat her engagement ring on his dresser. 

“The people want to meet their princess.” Noeul took to her side and wrapped his arms around her waist, sneaking kisses into the soft skin of her neck. 

“The princess is tired of meeting the people,” Charlie laughed, returning a kiss to his jaw. “I want some peace and quiet tonight.” 

“Really?” Noeul’s tone brightened. “That’s a shame. I had a surprise for you.” 

“You can’t tell me that and not deliver on your promise. You know I’m impatient.” She unzipped the back of her bodycon dress, deeply breathing for the first time in hours.

“I have to run to the bathroom. I’ll be right back to show you.” Noeul smiled, a familiar impish glint in his eye. 

“Go piss, girl,” Charlie instinctively replied, digging through his drawers to find a pair of her pajama pants. 

“Haha!” Noeul pronouncedly laughed. He tended to do that when he wasn’t quite sure what Charlie meant by her arsenal of indiscernible catchphrases. He assumed Charlie hadn’t caught onto him; she had. 

Charlie nestled into their California king, topless and flaunting her fuzzy Hello Kitty pajama pants. She thumbed through Noeul’s record collection—of which very few albums she recognized—and settled on The Mountain Goats. She strongly disliked a majority of Noeul’s music taste, but she was grateful that he introduced them to her. A broken clock was right twice a day, she presumed. 

“Look at me, doll,” Noeul crooned, dramatically sliding the curtains blocking off the bathroom in a feeble attempt at seduction. Charlie’s eyes widened as she processed exactly what the hell she was witnessing. He wore a lacy black thong lined with silky ribbons, obscenely exaggerating the bulge beneath his waist. Satin garters held up thin fishnet stockings running up to his thighs, accentuating his evident Vitamin D deficiency by illuminating the blue and purple veins around his thighs. 

“Holy shit,” Charlie muttered, unsure of how to respond. She covered her lipstick-smudged mouth with her hand. 

“You don’t have to say anything. Your body will tell me everything I need to know.” He leaned down to push back her hair, but she couldn't restrain herself from laughing. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she blurted. “It’s not funny. It’s not funny. It’s just—ooh, I didn’t expect this. What—what’s the occasion?”

“I thought you deserved a reward for putting up with the endless press bullshit all week. I thought you would like this.”

“Did Kai tell you that?”

Noeul defeatedly glanced at the door. “Maybe.”

“Oh my God.” Charlie buried her face in her hands, still cackling. “And I assume Gale and Sara had a hand in this?” 

“Maybe.”

“This is a really funny story, Noel. Trust me here. I’m not laughing at you. You look real nice,” Charlie lied. 

“When your accent comes out, I know you’re fucking with me.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t help it. This shit’s amusing.” 

“So, you’re not into the whole lingerie bondage thing?”

“Dear God, no. Honey, you look ridiculous.”

“Great. This is really great.” 

“If you wanted to cheer me up, you sure did it. Not in the way you anticipated, but you know I’d rather spend time with you instead of mindless fucking all night. I like to hear about your day.” 

“Let me go change.” Noeul awkwardly stood, unsure if he should try to cover himself or embrace the mess he had made. As soon as he stood, Charlie practically howled, burying her face in a pillow as she laughed. 

“I’ve seen your dick multiple times before,” she said. “It’s been inside me. I don’t know why this is what’s getting to me.”

“But you knew about this the whole time?”

“I had no clue they were going to go through with it! I thought they were all pulling my leg.”

Noeul sighed as he disappeared behind the beaded curtain. “Tell me what happened.” 

“Okay, okay, give me a second.”

Gale precisely wrapped his measuring tape around Charlie’s waist, marking the exact measurement.

“20 inches exactly,” he said. “You truly are a real-life doll, love. How the hell do you do it?”

“Noeul doesn’t let her fuckin’ eat,” Kai called from atop Sara’s vanity, eating puffy Cheetos with chopsticks. Not as a racial stereotype, but because Gale frowned upon grubby fingers in his workplace. Chopsticks were the best mode of transportation from bag to mouth. 

“Well, you seem to be doing plenty of that,” Gale said, retracting his tape measure. 

“That’s crazy coming from you.” Kai crunched on a particularly robust Cheeto.

“Can we change the subject, maybe?” Sara asked as she thumbed through Gale’s lacy fabric collection. 

“I eat plenty,” Charlie added. “Don’t worry about me. You’d know if I was unhealthy.” 

“You’re engaged to Noeul Sang. We know you’re not healthy in the brain,” Kai said under his breath. Sara audibly laughed, startling him enough to drop a stray Cheeto on the floor. 

“Pick that up,” Gale said, his back still turned away from the peanut gallery.

“How did he even see that?” Kai gasped.

“He can sense things. It’s scary,” Sara said, shrugging. 

“Yeah, of course, he’s the one who can sense a Cheeto puff from miles away.”

“Kai.” 

“He started it by talking about Charlie’s size. I’m just saying, it can’t be a coincidence.” 

“You would benefit from buccal fat removal surgery,” Sara said. “I’ve done everyone’s makeup on the Council. Your face has the most excess fat.”

“So what? I have a baby face. I’m perfectly healthy!”

“You started it by commenting on Porter’s size.” Sara smugly grinned. 

“Fuck off.” 

“So, what color are we thinking?” Sara announced, wheeling out a rotating shelf of multicolored lace. “Do we want to stick with the white?” 

“I don’t know,” Gale huffed. “We want the sex intrigue, but she’s not quite my cup of tea. Sara would know more about what makes women fuckable than I do.” 

“I like her in red, personally. It’s very vintage Hollywood. Maybe a crimson color?” Sara suggested, rubbing the potential fabrics between her fingers. 

“This is her wedding night. She needs to look as fuckable as possible,” Gale said, rushing to Sara’s side. 

“I’ve always thought I looked nice in blue,” Charlie awkwardly said, rubbing her nails together.

“You’re precious in blue, but Noeul already knows you’re adorable. We want you to be pornstar material here.”

“But I’m not pornstar material,” Charlie protested. “I’m his wife. Shouldn’t that be enough?” 

Sara and Gale shared a knowing glance and laughed with one another. 

“You’re marrying into the wealthiest family on this island,” Sara scoffed. “He could have any woman he wanted—“

“Or man,” Kai interjected. 

“—and you think he’s going to settle for ‘the girl next door?’”

“He proposed to me. I don’t see why he’d be looking for something in me that isn’t who I am.”

“Love, we’re not changing who you are. We’re reframing you in the most sensual way possible.” 

“I don’t want to be reframed sensually,” Charlie said, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Do you not want him to fuck you?” Kai laughed. “You’re acting like him finding you hot is the worst possible outcome.”

“It just feels weird with you all here, I guess,” she murmured. 

“Gale can do anything you want, okay?” Sara said, her eyes softening. “If you don’t want sexy lingerie, he doesn’t have to do that. If you feel more comfortable in something different, that’s your choice.” 

“I think I’d rather do something a little less patronizing,” Charlie admitted. 

“And that’s fine!” Gale said. “You’re going to look brilliant either way. You’re in my hands.” 

“That makes me feel a lot better, then.” Charlie’s shoulders relaxed. 

“But we didn’t wheel out my lace for nothing. What else could we make while we’re here?” Gale asked, tapping the plastic edges of the shelf. 

“How often do you make lingerie?” Kai asked. “I feel like I’ve never seen anything you’ve done before.”

“Once,” Gale admitted. “It was more of a joke, to be honest, but I enjoyed it. Lace is easy to work with.” 

“For who?” Sara asked.

“For Noeul.”

“For who?” Charlie’s head whipped around. 

“It was a terrible April Fool’s Day prank gone wrong. I never gave it to him. It’s never seen the light of day.” 

“You have to show us.” Kai folded up his Cheetos bag and buried it in Gale’s trash bin. 

“It’s in his little closet. I’ll be right back.” Gale scurried back to the Council’s personal changing rooms in search of the forbidden knowledge. 

“Why the fuck would he do that?” Kai laughed. 

“Why does Gale do anything he does?” Sara replied. 

“You think he can model it for us?” 

“I’d rather him not,” Charlie chuckled, shaking her head. 

Gale reappeared, a mess of dark ribbons and lace in his hands. “This was the final product.”

He unraveled it to reveal a sheer brief-esque shape paired with ribbons to be tied around the waist and thighs. 

“Dear God,” Charlie and Kai harmonized—with opposite inflections. 

“What the hell?” Sara shuddered. “What was the purpose of this?”

“To see if he would even wear it,” Gale explained. 

“Why would you want him to wear it?” Sara and Charlie shared an equally judgmental stare. 

“Don’t judge me, Cherti.” Gale wadded the fabric back into a ball. 

“Can’t be saying that anymore. His future wife’s right in front of you,” Kai pointed out. 

“I don’t mean to offend you, Charlie, you know that. Your husband’s an objectively very attractive man. Anyone on this island would agree with me.” 

“Eh,” Sara said, pursing her lips. 

“Of course he’s attractive,” Charlie said, “but he’s not that kind of attractive. I don’t think any man could pull that off.” 

“I think Gale could,” Kai said. Sara shot him a death glare. 

“You lot and your jokes,” Gale muttered, attempting to hide his face. 

“You should give it to him, anyway. As a wedding gift,” Kai joked. 

“Instead of Charlie wearing the wedding night lingerie, it could be Noeul!” Sara laughed. “Dalseum needs some feminism in its politics. This is a good place to start.”

“I’d be up for switching the gender roles,” Charlie said, grinning like she was unserious. 

“And then we all laughed for a while, and I thought they were all kidding!” Charlie finished. “I didn’t know they would do it.”

“Kai and Sara told me you would totally find it sexy, so my dumbass believed them!” Noeul said, sighing as he exited the bathroom in an oversized Iron Maiden shirt and old blue boxers. “I should have known better. You’re too vanilla for that.”

“You look much nicer in this, anyway.” Charlie sat on her knees to kiss his lips, and he reciprocated by gently holding the underside of her chin. 

“Your tits are always out. I can’t complain about your bedroom clothing choices.”

“It’s more comfortable like this. Bras are either too stifling or too tough. If I could walk around like this, I would.”

“But they’re only for me,” Noeul whined before kissing her collarbone. Charlie instinctively cringed. 

“Well, yeah, because I’m your wife,” she said, ruffling his silky hair as he rested his head on her chest. 

“Not yet. Just a few more months, though, Mrs. Sang.”

“Is that not weird?”

“What?”

“Calling me Mrs. Sang. That feels wrong. I don’t look like my name should be Mrs. Sang.”

“You’re my wife. My last name is Sang. I see no issue with it.”

“Maybe you should take Blaire.”

“And I look like my last name should be Blaire?”

“Yeah, you’re right. Maybe we should sleep on it.”

“I’m not taking your last name, doll.”

“Sleep on it.”

“Alright. I’ll sleep on it.” He kissed her one last time before flicking off his lamp.

“We’re burning that lingerie, by the way.”

“Oh, yeah, definitely.”

[jeanette-luminia]

𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐉𝐨𝐲 || 𝑳𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒂 𝑾𝒆𝒆𝒎𝒔

The sound of students' screams and laughter fills the air of Nevermore Academy. it was almost time for the day to turn into another year. All students gather around the lake area, setting off a few fireworks to keep up the mood. Food was guarded by some teachers and cooks to keep students from stealing when it was not time.

Your wife, the Principal of Nevermore Academy, Larissa Weems, announced that it was almost time for the countdown. Students cheered happily as they lined up which fireworks were going next, some even grab pots, pans, and spatulas to create loud noises.

It was only a few more seconds when your wife grabs your waist and stood next to you. Students look up at their phones, screaming the time. 3… 2… 1…

Every student yelled ‘Happy New Year!’ as the teacher sets off the fireworks, creating a loud noise yet beautiful sight to see. Students played with the pots and spatula, werewolves howling, adding more noise.

You love the New Year celebration, but sometimes you tend to forget how loud it is, and being surrounded by supernatural teenagers, it really didn’t help that much. You notice that your wife lets go of your waist. Whilst she was distracted, you slipped away from the crowd, finding a more secluded place to watch the fun.

You settle in the lakeside just far enough to hear the celebration, deciding on sitting down on the big rock you stumble across. Throughout the firework show, your smile crept up to your lips, watching as students get excited for the next thing, seeing the beautiful lights for a second then disappearing immediately. You smiled even more widely when you saw Larissa, stars in her eyes, enjoying herself whilst watching fireworks.

For some, fireworks are what glows in their eyes. For you? It was her, your wife.

When the show was over and students starts to gather around the table, only then Larissa noticed you weren’t by your side anymore, she tried to be discreet about her panic, though some teachers noticed her looking everywhere.

“Principal Weems, are you okay?” a teacher asked.

“Y—yes, I’m just looking for my wife, I was distracted with the students I didn’t notice her slip away,” she answered rather hesitantly. “I think I saw her walking along the lakeside.”

Larissa felt grateful that they saw where you were heading. “Thank you, you enjoy yourself, I’ll be back.”

She walked along the lakeside where you walked, and as she was getting a little farther, she finally saw you sitting peacefully, eyes closed, basking in the moonlight.

“You could have told me you slipped away, Dear.” she spoke up, as you opened your eyes to meet hers.

You giggled. “Sorry, It was too loud.” you patted down and scooched a little to make space for her, which she happily obliged. “Oh honey, you could have told me you wanted somewhere quiet, I would have accompanied you.”

You gently shook your head as you intertwined your fingers around hers. “It’s okay Love, you were enjoying yourself, and I like watching you enjoy yourself.” you kissed the tip of her nose as you scrunch your nose. Even though it was dark, you could see a blush creeping up to her neck.

She hid in the crook of your neck as you laugh, she rubbed circles around your hand. “Let’s stay like this for a while, hm?”

You rest your head on top of her. “Okay love.”

“Look! They’re being a lovey-dovey!” Enid pointed in your direction with Larissa by your side.

“No way!” Ajax peeped in as with Bianca, and surprisingly Wednesday. “What are you all doing here?” the voice of Ms. Thornhill started them from behind.

“Nothing,” Bianca said with confidence, trying to throw Ms. Thornhill off to believe them. “Get back on your tables.” the four of them went back to their tables, hoping they could see more of you and their principal together. Well… mostly Enid wanted to see.

a/n: I had to come back and write for her, she's so fucking perfect and I miss her. she deserves more fics. Happy New Year lovies, it's 2023!

© 𝐋𝐔𝐕-𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐃 - all rights reserved. please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate. please ask me first then credit me once you shared my work to other platforms.

[zeldaseyebrows]

Chapter 3 of the Mushroom Risotto Incident is out!

In this final chapter, there’s a lot of talking about feelings, tender banging, happy endings, and Link and Zelda might adopt a dog together. (also it’s very rated E so please read at your own discretion). I hope you enjoy!

Here’s a little excerpt:

“So, I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” Link says during a lull of their conversation in a tone that tries but miserably fails to come across as casual. “When you said that you watched over me during my journey, how closely did you watch me?”

Fuck, Zelda thinks eloquently. Fuckity fuck fuck.

The risotto settles heavy in her stomach like Daruk’s terrifying signature rockin’ rock roast. A cold wind sneaks through the clearing, making the fire shake and spark, sinking sharp into her bones. Far away, a wolf howls. Smoke blows into Zelda’s face, but she can’t even blink it away. No words come to her and her lips stay pressed together. She’s frozen.

When she doesn’t respond, Link’s eyebrows raise in a sharp jerk. “Zelda? You didn’t have to see everything, right?”

Why has he waited this long? It’s been a whole year! How has he waited to ask me for an entire bloody year?! Oh goddess, I should tell him. I can’t lie to him now; it’s selfish. It would upset him for me not to tell him. Even if he hates me, he deserves to know the truth.

Zelda finally wrenches open her mouth and responds, “Do you truly want to know?”

Link’s face drains as white as leviathan bones.

Back before he died, when Link would get upset or flustered, he would clam up and shut down. But now he’s changed and tries his best to communicate with her.

Link valiantly attempts to ask the question, but the words keep sticking in his throat, caught in the struggle. “Did you- I mean, everything? All of it? Like when I, er, went to the bathroom and stuff? You didn’t have to see that, right?”

He can’t bring himself to meet her eyes.

I have to tell him.

“I tried to look away as much as I could,” Zelda says.

Link covers his face.

“Did you see me that night?” His voice comes out low and strained between his fingers. “The mushroom risotto night?”

I’m finally going to tell him.

“Yes. I did.”

With a sharp exhale, Link manages to ask, “Did you hear me?”

“Yes.”

Link’s face seems to have melded with his knees.

“I’m so sorry,” he says, shaky and muffled. “Oh god, Zelda, I’m sorry.”

For a brief moment, Zelda doesn’t know if he’s crying, but then Link raises his head enough to speak and relief hits her that he’s not. But the pain and guilt in his eyes may be even worse than tears.

“I don’t know what to say to you,” Link whispers, still unable to meet her eyes. “You should hate me. How are you still so nice to me? How did you let me hug you and touch you after seeing that? Oh goddesses, we sleep together every night, and I– I’m so sorry. I care about you so much; I respect you so much. I know it must not seem like it, and you have every right to think that. But you mean everything to me, and I ruined it because I’m a disgusting pervert and I don’t know why I– I’m just so sorry, Zelda. I’m so, so sorry.”

It’s the exact same way she’s been feeling. Guilt swirling around her like tendrils of malice, holding her away from him, choking and smothering her. The terror and knowledge of ruining something good and pure, turning it into some desiccated guardian husk rusting on some crumbling stone.

Zelda can’t bear for Link to take on her guilt, to share that same sick poison that has infected her for over a year even for a moment.

“No, Link, it’s not your fault,” Zelda says. “It’s my fault. I tried to look away and give you privacy like usual– I never watched you do anything private when I could help it, I swear to you– but I couldn’t look away that time. Sometimes that happened when you would think about me…”

Link makes a small, pained sound.

“…Oh, I suppose that makes sense now. Were you, er, thinking about me for the entire duration?”

Link buries his face in his knees again. A strangled, “Yes,” ekes out.

[sobsicles]

claire's not expecting them to be at the door. she blinks at the sight of four men all huddled on the stoop with flowers and what appears to be bags of food flowing from their arms. jack is peeking above a bouquet, beaming at her.

"who's at the door?!" jody calls from the kitchen, her voice muffled by the sound of grease popping and the clanking of pans and spatulas meeting over and over.

"god," claire calls back, because she likes to think she's funny.

there's a beat of silence, and then jody's sticking her head out the kitchen. the moment she sees them, she breaks out into a grin and saunters over, shoving the spatula in claire's hand as she chatters away.

"what's going on out there?" donna asks as claire escapes back to the kitchen to poke at food jody is apparently willing to burn just because the winchesters decided to show their faces today of all days.

"judgement day," claire says dryly.

donna shares a look with patience. "haven't we dealt with that already a few times?"

"only by association," claire admits, "but i wouldn't put it past them to bring it along with 'em now. the boys are here."

"oh, isn't that nice?" donna chirps, already popping up from her chair. "i didn't know they were stopping by today."

"wonder how sam's doing," patience agrees, wandering out the kitchen right along with donna. claire can hear everyone cracking up and talking in the living room.

trust the winchesters to shake things up just by showing up. can't have one goddamn day, can they? well, that's not true. in their case, as far as claire is concerned, they're shitty for showing up and shitty for not. someone has to knock 'em all down a peg or two, so she might as well be the one.

"what did that chicken ever do to you?" kaia asks teasingly as she sidles into the kitchen and stops by the stove, hip-checking claire out of the way to take over.

"the boys are here," claire informs her.

kaia raises her eyebrows. "like, the boys as in the winchesters, or is this a milkshake pun?"

"i can only be so gay, sweetheart," claire says, shooting her a flat look.

"raise the bar a little. could be gayer. you can always be gayer," kaia teases, reaching out to sneak her hand around claire's hip, her eyes bright with amusement.

"you know what? you're right," claire agrees and immediately tries to cop a feel while kaia laughs and dances out of range.

jack appears in the doorway. "hello," he says, whispering for some reason. "claire, i need your help."

"no," claire says, not even glancing at him. she continues to try and put her hand up kaia's shirt, just to see her laugh.

"can i borrow twenty dollars?" jack asks.

"no. aren't you god?"

"yes, but i don't get paid to be."

"well, sucks for you. borrow money from cas," claire mutters, settling in behind kaia as she focuses on the food on the stove, swatting lazily at claire's roaming hands.

"he'll just borrow money from dean."

"borrow from sam."

"he'll just borrow money from dean."

"borrow from—wait, why does it matter if it's from dean? just borrow from him."

jack huffs. "i can't. i need the money for dean. i have a card, and i read online it's customary to give money with a card. also, will you sign it?"

"you got dean a card?" claire asks, craning her head around to stare at jack skeptically.

"yes."

"don't tell me it's for what i think it is."

"mother's day," jack confirms unironically.

claire wheezes out a laugh. "oh my god."

"there's a pen in the catty on the fridge," kaia says, clearly amused.

"yeah. yeah, this is—yeah." claire chokes on more laughter and stumbles towards the group of pens in the magnet container on the fridge. she waggles her fingers at jack, clearing her throat, lips twitching. "hand it over, beanstalk. you're a fucking genius."

"oh! thank you," jack declares cheerfully, passing over the card. "so, can i borrow twenty dollars?"

"hell no," claire says. she braces the card against the fridge and swallows down a laugh. sam has already signed it. this just gets better and better. happy mother's day, old man, aka the secondary source of my mommy and daddy issues. you're going for gold with this double-whammy, she writes.

"but i need it," jack insists, staring at her with wide eyes.

claire shrugs. "tough break, kid. what, cas doesn't give you an allowance? is it just me, or are dads getting stricter these days?"

"i didn't think about it in advance," jack admits sadly. "i want to do it right for the holiday. it's mother's day, claire."

"i'm well aware. sorry to break it to you, kid, but last I checked, your mom's as dead as mine," claire tells him, her voice flat. he frowns and she forces herself not to feel bad. everything that sucks for him sucked for her first, so her sympathy levels are a little drained. "father's day will roll around eventually, and you've got a long line of those, so wait your turn."

"i've already done something for my mother today," jack says slowly, his eyebrows furrowed. "i visited her in heaven."

claire snorts derisively and passes the card back over. "must be nice."

"it was," jack agrees, completely missing the point. "i really can't borrow twenty dollars? i'll pay you back."

"nah," claire says. "who cares anyway? wait, why is dean the mom?"

"well, castiel is my father."

"ah, so it's about them having the hots for each other, then? really, kid, you coulda just made dean your step-dad."

jack blinks. "they have the...hots for each other? you mean sex. they have sex?"

"you know what?" claire points at him with her free hand. "i'm not gonna burst your bubble on that one. you've got enough issues on your own without wondering if mommy and daddy still have a spark, so I'm gonna leave that alone. i've got five dollars. take it or leave it."

"deal," jack says immediately.

money is exchanged, and jack looks like he's on cloud nine. claire's just stoked to see the expression on dean's face when he gets the card. it's a homemade card and everything, nothing like the two claire, kaia, patience, and alex got for jody and donna.

claire helps kaia finish up the chicken, which promptly gets set aside to wait on the rest of the food in the oven. sam wanders in at some point to drop off the food they brought. dessert, by the looks of it. pies and cakes that go in the fridge. it's kind of them, but claire would shoot herself in the foot before she ever admits it.

she lets kaia tug her into the living room where everyone is already at, rolling her eyes at how cheered everyone seems just because the winchesters happened to grace their doorstep. really, they all suck.

but also—and claire will never admit this, not even to save her own life—it's nice to see 'em again. it's nice that they've come to celebrate the day in jody and donna's name, giving them flowers and such. it's nice that they hang around for a bit and don't bring the world crashing down on everyone for the duration of their stay.

and, well, it's nice to see cas, too.

he perches up next to the couch that claire is squeezed on with alex, donna, kaia, and jack. kaia is practically in her lap, but claire is secretly glad for the excuse. while everyone talks and has conversations across one another, cas focuses entirely on her.

another thing claire will never admit is how reluctantly pleased by that she is. it warms her. stupidly, it turns soft and gooey in her chest that he automatically gives her his undivided attention over everyone else, even jack. but, then again, it's not cas' day, so she doesn't have to look too close to that feeling. it's mother's day, so it's not about him.

when the food is ready, they reconvene in the kitchen, and that's when they crack out the cards and gifts. claire is practically vibrating with laughter before jack has even brought his card out. before that, though, she smiles softly and strokes kaia's thigh under the table as jody and donna read their cards and chuckle at the messages, their gazes warm and their smiles sweet. they look happy. they deserve to be.

"okay, last one," claire announces, grinning at jack. she's starting to think she likes this kid if he's an agent of chaos like this.

and okay, maybe she hates him a little in abstract, but in detail, she finds that she does actually like him. you kinda just wanna put him in your pocket without meaning to, she's learned. there's too much to explore with the whole psuedo sibling thing and parents that aren't parents, as well as parents that are but didn't choose to be, only he did choose one of them, and it wasn't her. it's complicated, but underneath it all, there's a vibrant love there that she can't look directly at. sometimes, she despises that she's included in it; yet, just the same, she's thankful that she is.

"oh hell," dean mutters, swinging his gaze between alex and patience. "one of you...ya know? did we miss something?"

claire snorts.

"what? no," alex replies, grimacing. "i have no idea what claire's talking about. claire, what the hell are you talking about?"

"jack?" claire prompts in a wheeze.

"here you go," jack chirps, holding out the card to dean, beaming. "happy mother's day."

the expression on dean's face is somehow even better than claire imagined. she howls with laughter while sam buries his face in his hands, his shoulders jerking. cas squints at jack, and jody's eyebrows fly up at the same exact time that donna grins.

"is this a joke?" dean sputters.

"no, no, nope," claire chokes out, nearly fucking crying with laughter. "happy mother's day, dean."

"you gotta take it, man," sam agrees, clearing his throat and biting back a smile as he bobs his head dutifully towards the card.

dean fixes sam with a flat look and snatches the card. "you're all so fucking—sam, you signed it?!"

"happy mother's day," sam says, his mouth pinched, visibly trying not to laugh.

"do you like it?" jack asks earnestly. "i made the card, sam signed it first, and claire provided the money."

"i—" dean stares down at the card, then heaves a sigh and looks up at jack. it's clear to him that—out of everyone—jack is clearly taking this very seriously. he offers him a weak smile, then swallows. "yeah, s'great, kid. thank you. sam, you are dead to me. claire, i will be spending this on something you hate. cas, this is somehow your fault."

"yup, sounds like a mother to me," jody declares, holding up her beer with a smile.

"welcome to the club," donna agrees, holding hers up as well. "everyone else annoys the shit out of you, but you love 'em anyway."

dean sighs and clinks his beer to theirs.

[hotwings0203]

now we need a part 4 with izuku and bakugo on what happens next to the poor reader 😩✋🏼

Aight imma do a two for one here so MASSIVE BET

Tw:noncon, gangbang

When your hand reaches the doorknob, you know something is off only half a millisecond before another large hand settles itself on your wrist and another one caressing your side.

You freeze immediately at the voices that croon and snarl to you.

“Open the door quietly and we don’t have to make this any more difficult than it’s already gonna be.”

“God, you smell so good. You still haven’t changed your shampoo even after all these weeks huh? I like it.”

Your hand starts to shake and your body starts to sweat as you wildly try to find a way out of this situation. The voices sound eerily familiar, with one being higher and the other more aggressive and raspy, but you don’t dare turn around to locate the faces.

One of them seems to be catching onto your hesitation, because your wrist is crushed underneath a hard grasp and you cry out softly as they growl.

“Open. This. Fucking. Door. Right now.”

It takes a good 15 more seconds to jimmy the lock open, and once you do all three of you go tumbling in.

You whip back around to see both men standing over you, merely watching you with crossed arms and equally perverse leers.

“D-deku? Bakugo? What’s going on?”

Deku practically bounces on the balls of his feet, itching with inappropriate anticipation for what’s to come.

“We wanted to play with you! Are you ready? You can’t fucking ignore me anymore!” His voice is cheery as always but it breaks when he curses, the strains in his vocal cords sticking out while he forces himself from holding back.

Bakugo steps forward.

“Didnt I tell you I was gonna come again for you, you teasing cunt? Didn’t I say to watch your back? Now look at you, sprawled on the floor like rapetoys should be.”

Both men start slowly uncrossing their arms and advance towards you.

“No-no please, why? I didn’t do anything to you! Deku, please!” You blubber as you scuttle backwards, their strides equally as long.

You continue evading them as they play around with you.

“Oh, you have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear those words. ‘Deku, please.’ Although, I’d very much rather you moan it for me.” He has the audacity to blush, and then Bakugo interjects.

“You deserve this y’know, so don’t start crying now. We haven’t even gotten to the fun part yet.” He spreads his hands and his uncharacteristic grin stretches from ear to ear, his vermillion eyes flashing in the dim light of your dorm.

“Anyone whose stupid enough to not realize how this creep has been sniffin’ your panties for months-hell, maybe even years now should get raped. You’re so fucking stupid, you didn’t realize I was protecting you from him.”

“But now look at you. Alone, afraid, vulnerable…oh, and going to the bedroom. You really are an easy slut, huh?”

Deku’s eyes light up when he realizes you truly are unknowingly backing up into the bedroom, but you realize it too late.

It’s only after Bakugo’s words come out that you try to look for a detour for the lock-induced bathroom, but Deku has a different idea.

Out of pure excitement he laughs and sprints towards you, hands outreached to touch your pretty skin, mouth open with drool softly filling the tile below him and eyes bloodshot with lust.

He looks like a creature from hell, and in the pure terror of watching him come at you like that your plan to detour was thwarted and you mindlessly trip back over your feet onto the bed, scrambling as far away as you can from them to the headboard.

You look to your left and quickly seize your bedside lamp, raising it above your head.

“Domt come any closer you closer perv. God, I shouldve known you were fucked in the head. I kept trying to make excuses for you, I thought you were my friend-“ you break down in sobs as the green haired man continues looking at you like you’re a piece of meat, absentmindedly wiping his hand across his mouth.

“And you,” you point to Bakugo who bares his teeth and smirks madly, “I already knew you were the embodiment of hell, but I thought you had a limit of how low you could stoop. You didn’t protect me from shit, you forced your way inside of me day in and day out.”

“Well now that your useless little monologue is over, Deku, tie her legs to the posts. I swear Y/N, you’re making this way too easy for me. It’s almost boring, I already know what I’m gonna get.” He raises his eyebrows at you while he lets his minion do all the work for him, goosebumps racing up his arm at the sight of you screaming and fighting tooth and nail against your fate.

But at the end of the day, after all your curses and sobs and monologues, you’re no match for either of them, especially Deku, who cooes at you to scream louder while he caresses your face and uses nylon string to secure your wrists to the wooden posts. Your legs are also bound after Bakugo seizes them from kicking, and a gag is placed over your mouth by his hands.

He roughly taps the tape covering your trembling lips and smiles condescendingly down at you.

“You’re doing so well for us, rapemeat. Keep up the good work and try to spread those legs as much as you can.” He chuckles when you scream your lungs out, thrashing as he yanks your knees apart.

“Aw, Kacchan, can’t we take the gag off? I wanted to hear her in my ears,” he pouts and looks glumly at your writhing figure.

“No, how fucked in the head are you? Someones gonna come down if she’s hollering for the whole building to hear. And cut her clothes off, I’m getting impatient.”

It seems like Deku too was at his last fiber of self control as his hands shake equally as much as yours, except for an entirely different reason altogether, the opposite reason of yours in fact.

He fishes in his back pockets for something, and produces a glinting steel knife with a black handle.

You still immediately as his descends his hands to the top of your v-neck shirt, right above your collarbones. His eyes fog up as your satiny smooth skin comes in contact with the blade, the coldness of the steel sending shivers down your spine and making you sob harder.

“Kacchan…did you ever get a taste of her blood? How does she taste?” He lifts his head to look into your tear-streaked eyes, but he addresses his childhood friend.

Bakugo snorts. “Calm down Toga, don’t get too crazy yet. We’ll have some more fun later, right now my dick is about to explode. ‘Need a hole,” he mumbles at the end and finally clambers onto the bed right atop your legs.

You stay absolutely silent as pressure from the knife rips the thin strands of your clothes apart, and Deku takes careful care to ensure you at least have thin red lines running down your stomach if not for actual blood.

“Oh fuckkkk,just look at her. You look good enough to eat…” he looks at you and licks his lips, salivating when you whine and twist at your restraints.

“Yeah yeah, you do whatever the fuck you want. Just choose what you’re gonna stick it in and hurry up.”

The blond looks bored almost as the more eager one whips to the side to face him.

“You mean it Kacchan? I can pick?”

They speak as if you’re not alive, no feelings or humanity involved. All you can do is watch and yell into your makeshift gag as the blond waves him off.

“Go for it. It’s your first time satisfying that sick head of yours, ‘must get boring doing it from behind a screen all the time.”

His slowly turns to face you, a kind leer etched across his features, eyebrows slanted and hand coming up to pull your ripped clothes apart.

You struggle and spit muffled profanities out as he slowly drags the bridge of your bra down, eyes wide open as your nipples pop out and eventually both of your tits bounce out.

He hisses and takes his nails up your stomach to fondle your breast. You can tell Deku’s too excited, too inexperienced from the way he handles them like stress balls. You grunt as his mouth latches onto a pert nipple, suckling and looking up at you as if he were some kind of demonic baby.

Bakugo watches all this with a dark glint in his eyes, absentmindedly palming himself as he watches the show unfold in front of him.

It’s entertaining seeing all of the creep’s hormones spiral out of control from years of pent-up lust. He’s never seen the dork so fired up and hungry, he’s never seen him so brutal with a civilian before, the type of people he used to say he’d protect at all costs.

After he’s done playing with your sore tits, he wasted no time in yanking your sweats off. You don’t even trash around anymore, the only thing you’re capable of in this state of terror and shock is weak moans and little sobs, maybe a writhe or two here and there.

Your panties are also torn off and you howl when the elastic cuts into your skin within the process. Bakugo takes this last stripping as an indication for him to move now. He lifts himself up on his knees and moves around your head while Deku situates himself between your violently twitching legs.

“I’m gonna take the gag out now. If you scream or pull any funny business I’ll plug your pussy and your throat with this knife, got it?” He snatches the weapon from the bed and waves it dangerously close to your face.

You nod frantically and try to turn your head to the side, but he yanks you back into place and decides to have his own fun.

While Izuku hurriedly takes his own shorts off the hothead slowly takes the tape off your mouth, staring down at you with unblinking eyes. The knife which you’re so afraid of is traced around your own squeezed shut eyes, down your cheeks and around your lips.

But the horrified trance on which he keeps you in is broken when Izuku suddenly shoved his entire length inside your dry cavern.

Luckily Bakugo has enough foresight to slam a hand over your howling mouth before the entire building can be woken up, and he glares at the sheepish-looking man down the bed from him.

“Are you a fucking virgin? At least rub her clit or something so she doesn’t go hollering at every thrust you damn nerd!”

The man between your legs winces and rubs the back of his neck, chuckling nervously.

“Oops, sorry, got a little carried away there.”

He doesn’t pull out, he merely thrusts slower, trying to fit his fat dick inside your unwilling cunt.

A string of curses leaves your lips and you grimace as the pain becomes near blinding.

Bakugo looks down at you again, the knife forgotten.

“No teeth either.” Your breaths come out in little frantic pants when his bare cock springs out of his own pants.

He taps the leaking purple tip on your lips and you open hesitantly. There’s no point in resisting anymore, they’ve got you quite literally cornered.

“Wider, slut,” he snarls, and you do-but only because Deku’s paps get more aggressive, causing your mouth to fall open in a long whine.

The blond takes this opportunity to slam his length down your throat, groaning around when he sees your throat swell with his bulge.

You immediately start gagging and trying to pull at your restraints for air, his heavy balls rest right on top of your nose and you feel like you’re going to pass out.

You can barely hear him over Deku’s animalistic grunts and whines. He’s going way too fast, as if he’s possessed by your pussy. It numbs you, taking away some of the pain in a flip side.

But on the other end of your body, you’re desperate for air while a fuzzy ballsack paps against your nose and eyes.

Each sadistic stroke he puts inside of you widens your sore esophagus, bringing bile up sometimes and large amounts of saliva too.

He’s not as loud as Deku, but he’s equally as greedy with your holes.

Your body literally hovers up almost in midair as Bakugo thrusts in and lifts his hips up, taking your upper half along with it and Deku does the same unconsciously, trying to fuck up into your womb.

It’s an exact replica of a perverted spit roast, with both of them catching each other’s rhythm and slamming inside your holes at the same time.

Your clit is suddenly rubbed inexpertly to the point of overstimulation, and the incoming sob forced out of your throat warps into a pained scream.

The vibrations of your scream makes Bakugo cum suddenly with a hoarse groan. He doubled over your body and gnaws at your bouncing tits, licking and teething at them the same way his counterpart did.

The sight of copious amounts of cum being leaked out of your filled mouth propels the green-haired man to whimper and shove himself back in one more time, hitting your cervix and causing both his and your eyes to roll back.

He cums too, but both men keep their semi-hard cocks inside of your aching body.

You don’t know what’s worse, having both of them by your side or both of them inside.

[magalidragon]

safe & sound | a Targling drabble

A/n: I’m sorry I don’t have the Bad Valentine’s Day ficlet done yet. It’s been insane at work and I cannot dream of sneak writing smut there 😭 My computer also broke, my cat is sick, etc. When it rains it pours. I had this little drabble idea of Jonerys and their sick baby for about a week, @youwerenevermine had the idea to set it with Jon and Aemon from “first snow.” Enjoy! Oh yeah, trigger warning for a couple gross baby mentions 😂

There were few things Jon would not wish on his worst enemy. There were some things he thought would be perfectly fine to wish upon them. Right now he wouldn’t mind his worst enemy— fucking Orell who tried to scratch his eyes out when he arrested him up Beyond the Wall, or Tyrion Lannister, or his cousin Sansa— going through what he was going through right now.

He wiped something— vomit? Boogers?— off his front, sighing at the stain that had formed. It was a lost cause. He whipped the ruined shirt off, throwing it to the overflowing bin in the bathroom corner. “Dany?” he called, hearing her shuffling behind the partition. He poked his head around, sighing at her miserable expression. “Oh…”

“Go on without me,” she sobbed weakly. “Save yourself.”

It would be his turn soon enough. He leaned down to help her, but a choking sob filled the room, crackling out the baby monitor. “I’ll be back,” he promised, turning and running out and to the room across the hall.

Wading through thrown down tissues, humidifiers, destroyed clothes, and other sick child paraphernalia, Jon reached the crib. Aemon was already up, his face covered in tears and snot. His silver curls were stuck all over the place like a mad scientist and when he saw his father, he burst into grateful tears. His tiny fists opened and closed, reaching up for him.

“I’m here, I’m here,” Jon cooed, leaning down to lift him up. He sighed, feeling the full diaper. “Oh boy, another huh?” Aemon howled in response.

Curses for days to the parents who sent their sick kid to Aemon’s daycare. It was now closed as the entire class had been battling a combination of stomach and respiratory viruses. It started with a cough and sniffles, went straight to fever, and then the vomiting and Jon was waiting for the diarrhea which….

“Oh boy, this calls for a bath.” He gagged, wrapping Aemon in a towel, the baby choking through more sobs.

Since the virus had also knocked Dany down, he was the sole caregiver for them both. All she’d been able to do was eat some saltines and pump, which hadn’t gone over well with Aemon who didn’t want the bottle nor did he want the milk. It was just an all around hellscape in their house that weekend and even the fresh snow couldn’t cheer him up.

Ghost joined them in Aemon’s bathroom with the old claw foot tub, which had his baby bath chair already set up. While the water ran, nice and warm, he danced back and forth gently with Aemon in his dragon-hood towel, the baby sniffling and wiping his face into Jon’s bare shoulder. He kissed his son’s silver curls, patting his back and murmuring nonsense. “We’re gonna’ get a bath, clean you up, make you shiny and new,” he sang softly, sticking his bare foot into the water to check the temp. It was good enough so he lowered his poor baby into the water, the brief shock of it startling a cry from Aemon, who soon settled back into the chair, his hands swishing in the water when he realized what was going on and that this was an experience he normally enjoyed.

He washed Aemon up, continuing to sing to him. “Squeaky clean, squeaky clean, little Aemon Rhae is going to be squeaky clean.” He tapped his wet finger to Aemon’s raw, bright red nose, leaning in and smiling when his son managed to get his lips curving up. “Aw, there it is, see? Feeling better now?”

Aemon closed his eyes, huffing up and sneezed, snot flying out of his nose and right into Jon’s face. He sighed, shaking his head and reached for a towel. “I guess I deserved that.” He should have known not to get too close. Ghost got up from the floor and leaned over to check and make sure things were okay before he left, tail swishing so hard it almost shut the door.

He cleaned Aemon, getting rid of all the germs that could possibly be hiding in the fat rolls, his hair, his fingers and toes, and then cuddled him up again in a clean towel. A few minutes of pure torture– trying to get the gunk from his nose– he had Aemon crying and about ready to commit patricide. There was no word from Dany, so he buttoned Aemon into a clean dragon onesie, one of his favorites, and pulled the hood over his head to keep him warm.

Naps were still needed and he knew he should put him back into his crib, but when he went to lower Aemon down, his son cried again and his hands clenched tighter to his neck. He still had to put on a shirt, as the house’s chill was beginning to seep to his bones. “You still want me?” he asked, sighing. He nuzzled Aemon’s warm cheeks, whispering. “Is that going to make you feel better?”

“Hmmm,” Aemon hummed, burying his face deeper into his father’s chest.

“Alright.”

He chose the rocker, leaning back into it and tugged one of the handmade quilts that used to belong to him when he was a boy, wrapping it around his chest and shoulders, using it to swaddle Aemon against his chest. With his arms around the comforting weight of his son, he leaned back into the chair and propped his feet on the ottoman, yawning hugely. “Can you never get sick again?” he mumbled, soothingly rubbing Aemon’s back. “Because seven hells, this is harder than boot camp.”

Aemon snuffled some more, his thumb coming up to his mouth. Jon allowed it this one, since it was comforting him, and he absently drew shapes on Aemon’s back, dragging his fingers around and around, stealing a glance now and then to see if Aemon had fallen asleep, but he hadn’t. Instead, he was wide-eyed, peering up. Jon smiled down at him and shifted, so he was cocooned closer, able to look up, cradled. “You just wanted your papa, huh?” he breathed, adoration and love pouring from him for the little boy in his arms. He used his pinkie to trace Aemon’s cheek, moving to tuck a lock of hair behind his ear. “Aye, when I’m sick I kind of want my Mumma, but I got your Mumma. She takes care of me now. Takes care of both of us.”

He wondered where Dany had gone, hoping that she’d at least gotten to the bed to fall asleep. If there was an emergency, Ghost or the cats would have come to find him. He glanced up at the flash of black and reddish brown, Drogon sidling into the room and over to sniff Aemon. The cat purred, flicked his tail, and left, satisfied that the Little Prince was safe. He chuckled, lifting his eyebrows. “I think Drogon might not hate me as much.”

Aemon smiled, his big violet eyes sleepy and droopy. He sniffed again and coughed, rubbing his hands up to his face. Jon moved them and tucked them down against his chest, rocking slowly and humming random Northern folk songs to bring Aemon to sleep. If this was what he needed, he’d give it to him, like he’d given up his sleep, his ick factor, and his sanity for his son.

He kissed Aemon’s head and shifted so his chin was resting atop Aemon’s head, leaning back in the rocker and squeezed him, the baby snoring gently, the soft sounds of it lulling him to sleep.

When he woke, what he hoped were only a few minutes later, but from the darkness outside, was hours, he was startled to see that his arms were empty and that a thicker quilt had been thrown over him. There was also a hoodie folded on the ottoman next to his feet. He sniffed; shit, guess it was starting in him now. He pulled the hoodie on and got up, scrubbing his face, and searching for Dany and Aemon.

He peeked into their bedroom, where Dany was feeding Aemon, singing in Valyrian to him. He stared at them a moment; it was his favorite sight, his wife with their son. She glanced up and smiled; her nose was still red and her eyes puffy. “You were so out of it, I thought it best to just take him.”

“Are you better?”

“Much, but I think I have a few more rounds left in me.” She nodded to the clock. “Aemon seems like he’s run through everything. His fever broke and he isn’t sniffling as much.”

Jon sneezed, groaning at the pain in his throat. “Well I think it’s my turn.”

“It was only a matter of time.”

“Tell me how long do we have of this?”

She laughed. “Another eighteen years I think?”

“Aw, damn.” He collapsed onto the bed and cupped Aemon’s head, watching him eat, his brow pinched, focused and determined. “We should think of weaning him soon, right?”

“He’s already weaning, but when he’s sick, I think it makes him feel better.”

Jon rested his head on her shoulder, sighing and closed his eyes. “I can imagine. You make me feel better too.”

She laughed softly. “And you do the same for me. Except you gave me my flu.”

“Me? It was that damn Bolton brat. Got everyone sick.”

“Hmmm, my virus is a tad more complicated.”

He opened his eyes, concerned. “Oh?”

“Oh.” She was smiling, her violet eyes twinkling. “I had to go to the pharmacy, when you were giving him a bath.”

“I wish you’d told me, I would have gone.”

“No, you needed to take care of Aemon, he wanted you.” She exhaled and Aemon detached, his eyes hooded, drunk on milk and love. She reattached her bra strap and grinned sideways. “My virus lasts about nine months. The effects of it…a lifetime.” She nuzzled Aemon, passing him over. “Seems the next couple of weeks I’ll be in the bathroom, if history is any prediction of the future.”

Jon had no bloody idea what his wife was on about. He turned Aemon so his son’s back was to his chest, playing with his feet. Aemon was fascinated with his feet lately and sure enough, reached to try to remove a sock. He ran through what she was saying in his head and finally it dawned on him.

“Oh!”

“There it is,” she laughed.

“But you…”

“I was sick, I had his virus. Probably still do, but then I realized some things and just needed to confirm.” She kissed his cheek, whispering. “We get to do this all over again. And again. And again.”

He grinned, glancing down at Aemon, who was oblivious. “Hear that Aemon? You’re gonna’ be a big brother.”

Aemon hiccuped and spit up, glancing down at the mess he’d made before he giggled. He clapped his hands and kicked his feet. Dany sighed, shaking her head. “I guess he’s feeling better.”

Jon sneezed again and coughed, groaning. “And I’m definitely not.”

“Come on Aemon, let’s get you to bed. Mumma has to start taking care of Papa.”

He rolled over to grab a Kleenex, but the box was empty. He tossed it to the floor, but the action already made his arm feel like he’d thrown a dumbbell. He groaned, shoving his face into the pillow.

Damn kid, he thought, but then smiled.

It was totally worth it.

[luminnara]

The Silent Treatment | Omega!Bakugou x Fem!reader

Request:

 CAN I PLEASE HAVE OMEGA BAKUGOU X READER PLEASE WHERE SHE MAD AT HIM AND IGNORES HIM And he has to get her attention on him his main mission so he like bother her so she doesn’t be angry at him no more

um YES YOU MAY I have a secret massive soft spot in my heart for omega bakugou lol.

My askbox is open! 

Warnings: swearing? Bakugou is a brat, uhhh needy emotions and stuff, not too angsty tho

Word count: 1,210

He deserved this. He really did. And deep down, he knew that. Even Bakugou, who acted high and mighty and angry all the time, could occasionally tell when he was being an asshole deserving of punishment. 

He didn’t like it one bit, though.

“Babe, come on,” he growled one afternoon, facing his girlfriend as she cooked dinner with her back to him. 

She didn’t answer. She didn’t even bother to look at him, and it made his blood boil. 

“Oi!” he snapped, teeth bared in a snarl. “Pay attention to me!”

His alpha continued ignoring him, humming as you stirred the food you were preparing. The scent you were giving off was calm, seemingly unperturbed, whereas Katsuki’s was growing more and more distraught. 

“Baby, please?” he whined. He actually whined. He was stooping so low as to whine and beg for your attention, and yet, you were completely unmoved. 

He tossed his hands up in defeat. If you weren’t even going to see how far he was willing to go for you, then fine. He could find other things to occupy himself with. He didn’t need you, even if you were his alpha, and his girlfriend, and the love of his life, and...ugh, whatever. 

With a huff, he stalked away, going to sulk on the couch. You noticed, of course; no matter how angry you were with Katsuki, you weren’t about to stop keeping an eye on your moody, rowdy omega. You knew he was a handful, and you were all too familiar with the way he liked to throw tantrums whenever you put him in his place. He deserved it, anyways, and he needed to learn that he couldn’t rage and yell at you without consequences. Katsuki might have been an omega, but he snapped and snarled like the toughest, meanest alphas there were, and often, he managed to make you feel like your roles were reversed. 

Dealing with Katsuki wasn’t about being firm, though. You got along with your omega because you were flexible enough to weather his stormy temper, and most of the time, you were gentle and accommodating, giving him the space to rant and roar until he tired himself out and came crawling into bed with you. Sometimes, though, even you got fed up with his nasty words, and unfortunately, this was one of those times.

You knew how much he hated receiving the silent treatment, and while normally you cared about his feelings, tonight, you didn’t. He had been outright mean when he got home from work, and honestly? You were tired of the way he thought he could boss you around. You were the alpha, you were the one who took care of him when he was in heat, you were the leader here. Katsuki needed to cool his jets, and until he apologized for being such a dick to you, you were perfectly content with ignoring him.

“For fuck’s sake,” you heard him grumbling.

 Peering over your shoulder, you saw that he had grabbed a few blankets and begun making himself a tiny nest on the couch, curling up under them. The scent he was giving off was grumpy, but there was nothing in it that rang any real alarm bells in your head. Your inner alpha wanted to comfort him, to croon and purr until he wasn’t upset anymore, but no. He could make as many little nests around the apartment as he wanted and sleep in them on his own. It was pretty cute, you had to admit, but you weren’t swayed. Not yet. He was going to have to do a lot better than just being adorable.

You ate dinner in silence, setting a plate out for him. You considered saying something, but when he fixed you with a hostile, bratty glare, you rolled your eyes. Nope. You were going to hold out for as long as necessary.

What followed was an evening of Katsuki’s whining from his couch nest, the high pitched sounds interrupted with angry growls and huffs. He called your name, he chirped, he trilled, he even tried altering his scent to make you think that he was in mortal peril...and still nothing.

He was going to completely lose his mind.

“So we’re really doing this, huh?” He hissed as you walked past him to get into bed.

When you didn’t answer, he followed at your heels, walking into your shared bedroom with his lips pulled back in a grimace. You were silent, changing out of your day clothes right in front of him without so much as a moment of hesitation.

You were absolutely killing him with this.

When he tried to sidle up to you, his hands brushing over your bare hips, you simply stepped out of his grip to grab your pajamas.

The sound he let out was absolutely pitiful.

“Y/n, come on!” He practically howled.

You pulled a shirt on, walked around him, and climbed into bed.

“This is ridiculous!” He snapped, his temper flaring.

You rolled onto your side, your back facing him.

That was the final nail in the coffin.

He whined again, climbing onto the foot of the bed. He needed attention from you, needed it the way he needed to breathe. Even though it had been less than a day, he was miserable, and the half of him that wasn’t upset by it was angry at the way he was so incredibly distraught over this.

“Please just talk to me,” he crawled over you, laying his chin on your shoulder as he stuck his face right up in yours. “Oi. You can’t keep this up forever. We both know it.”

You kept your eyes closed, determined not to cave.

He nuzzled his face in your neck, trying to get you to scent him and reassure him that you still liked him. “I already said please. What more do you want? This is bullshit.”

Your eyes snapped open and you glared at him. “I want an apology, Katsuki.”

“What?” His head shot up. “For what?”

“For all the mean shit you say to me!” You closed your eyes again, settling in against your pillows. “Until then, I’m not speaking with you.”

He stared down at you. An apology? That’s all he had to give you? He could do that. That was easy, right?

“Y/n...” he said quietly, putting his weight on you. “Alpha...I’m sorry.”

You glanced back at him. Wow. Had it actually worked?

“I’m sorry, alpha, just...please pay attention to me...” he rubbed his head over your scent glands, desperate. “I’ll...be fuckin’ nicer.”

Though he was terrible with his words, you could hear in his voice that was actually trying. It was more than you had expected from him tonight, honestly.

“Oh, Katsuki...” you sighed, turning slightly and slipping an arm around him. “What am I going to do with you?”

At the sound of your voice, his heart soared, and he clung to you. With his face stuffed into the crook of your neck and his arms wrapped around your waist, you finally gave him what he wanted, purring deep in your chest until his scent calmed down into something more like his usual smoky cinnamon.

Yes, Bakugou, was a handful...but at least he was your handful.