#officially the breadwinner

[its-our-paris]

I'm really not okay right now but that's okay because I'll be alright eventually.

[ccatskies]

i still can’t get over the fact that baek hyun woo proposed to hong haein in the most desi way possible.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Prison-tech company bribed jails to ban in-person visits

I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in BOSTON with Randall "XKCD" Munroe (Apr 11), then PROVIDENCE (Apr 12), and beyond!

Beware of geeks bearing gifts. When prison-tech companies started offering "free" tablets to America's vast army of prisoners, it set off alarm-bells for prison reform advocates – but not for the law-enforcement agencies that manage the great American carceral enterprise.

The pitch from these prison-tech companies was that they could cut the costs of locking people up while making jails and prisons safer. Hell, they'd even make life better for prisoners. And they'd do it for free!

These prison tablets would give every prisoner their own phone and their own video-conferencing terminal. They'd supply email, of course, and all the world's books, music, movies and games. Prisoners could maintain connections with the outside world, from family to continuing education. Sounds too good to be true, huh?

Here's the catch: all of these services are blisteringly expensive. Prisoners are accustomed to being gouged on phone calls – for years, prisons have done deals with private telcos that charge a fortune for prisoners' calls and split the take with prison administrators – but even by those standards, the calls you make on a tablet are still a ripoff.

Sure, there are some prisoners for whom money is no object – wealthy people who screwed up so bad they can't get bail and are stewing in a county lockup, along with the odd rich murderer or scammer serving a long bid. But most prisoners are poor. They start poor – the cops are more likely to arrest poor people than rich people, even for the same crime, and the poorer you are, the more likely you are to get convicted or be suckered into a plea bargain with a long sentence. State legislatures are easy to whip up into a froth about minimum sentences for shoplifters who steal $7 deodorant sticks, but they are wildly indifferent to the store owner's rampant wage-theft. Wage theft is by far the most costly form of property crime in America and it is almost entirely ignored:

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/jun/15/wage-theft-us-workers-employees

So America's prisons are heaving with its poorest citizens, and they're certainly not getting any richer while they're inside. While many prisoners hold jobs – prisoners produce $2b/year in goods and $9b/year in services – the average prison wage is $0.52/hour:

https://www.dollarsandsense.org/archives/2024/0324bowman.html

(In six states, prisoners get nothing; North Carolina law bans paying prisoners more than $1/day, the 13th Amendment to the US Constitution explicitly permits slavery – forced labor without pay – for prisoners.)

Likewise, prisoners' families are poor. They start poor – being poor is a strong correlate of being an American prisoner – and then one of their breadwinners is put behind bars, taking their income with them. The family savings go to paying a lawyer.

Prison-tech is a bet that these poor people, locked up and paid $1/day or less; or their families, deprived of an earner and in debt to a lawyer; will somehow come up with cash to pay $13 for a 20-minute phone call, $3 for an MP3, or double the Kindle price for an ebook.

How do you convince a prisoner earning $0.52/hour to spend $13 on a phone-call?

Well, for Securus and Viapath (AKA Global Tellink) – a pair of private equity backed prison monopolists who have swallowed nearly all their competitors – the answer was simple: they bribed prison officials to get rid of the prison phones.

Not just the phones, either: a pair of Michigan suits brought by the Civil Rights Corps accuse sheriffs and the state Department of Corrections of ending in-person visits in exchange for kickbacks from the money that prisoners' families would pay once the only way to reach their loved ones was over the "free" tablets:

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2024/03/jails-banned-family-visits-to-make-more-money-on-video-calls-lawsuits-claim/

These two cases are just the tip of the iceberg; Civil Rights Corps says there are hundreds of jails and prisons where Securus and Viapath have struck similar corrupt bargains:

https://civilrightscorps.org/case/port-huron-michigan-right2hug/

And it's not just visits and calls. Prison-tech companies have convinced jails and prisons to eliminate mail and parcels. Letters to prisoners are scanned and delivered their tablets, at a price. Prisoners – and their loved ones – have to buy virtual "postage stamps" and pay one stamp per "page" of email. Scanned letters (say, hand-drawn birthday cards from your kids) cost several stamps:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/14/minnesota-nice/#shitty-technology-adoption-curve

Prisons and jails have also been convinced to eliminate their libraries and continuing education programs, and to get rid of TVs and recreational equipment. That way, prisoners will pay vastly inflated prices for streaming videos and DRM-locked music.

The icing on the cake? If the prison changes providers, all that data is wiped out – a prisoner serving decades of time will lose their music library, their kids' letters, the books they love. They can get some of that back – by working for $1/day – but the personal stuff? It's just gone.

Readers of my novels know all this. A prison-tech scam just like the one described in the Civil Rights Corps suits is at the center of my latest novel The Bezzle:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865878/thebezzle

Prison-tech has haunted me for years. At first, it was just the normal horror anyone with a shred of empathy would feel for prisoners and their families, captive customers for sadistic "businesses" that have figured out how to get the poorest, most desperate people in the country to make them billions. In the novel, I call prison-tech "a machine":

a million-­armed robot whose every limb was tipped with a needle that sank itself into a different place on prisoners and their families and drew out a few more cc’s of blood.

But over time, that furious empathy gave way to dread. Prisoners are at the bottom of the shitty technology adoption curve. They endure the technological torments that haven't yet been sanded down on their bodies, normalized enough to impose them on people with a little more privilege and agency. I'm a long way up the curve from prisoners, but while the shitty technology curve may grind slow, it grinds fine:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/02/24/gwb-rumsfeld-monsters/#bossware

The future isn't here, it's just not evenly distributed. Prisoners are the ultimate early adopters of the technology that the richest, most powerful, most sadistic people in the country's corporate board-rooms would like to force us all to use.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/02/captive-customers/#guillotine-watch

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

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CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

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KGBO https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Suncorp_Bank_ATM.jpg

CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

[nyerus]

A Masterpost for the Revised Version of TGCF

Due to the amount and frequency of misinformation about the revised version of TGCF, I wanted to make a post to serve as a resource for those who are confused about it, while also helping to debunk some of the sensationalist rumors floating around.

This post will be edited to include new things as needed.

⚠️Spoiler Warning: if you have not finished reading the original novel, or want to experience the new scenes from the revised naturally/fresh, please proceed with caution! I've intentionally kept things as vague as possible, but some spoilers are unavoidable!⚠️

✨ PART ONE: Frequently Asked Questions ✨

🔹What is the "revised" version of TGCF?

MXTX had been working on a revised version of TGCF since completing the original, as mentioned this in her postscript/afterword, and in an online interview (Q.27) done years ago just as she competed TGCF. That's all that was known for several years.

In early 2023, TGCF was finally released in print format in mainland China — and this was revealed to be the revised version! Due to regulations, this was a censored edition. However, in early 2024, the uncensored edition was uploaded to JJWXC (the site where all of MXTX's webnovels were originally published)! It's currently fully available to read in Simplified Chinese.

If you want a more in-depth explanation about the revised, please see my post about that here.

🔹What does the revised change compared to the original?

Several scenes have been added, some removed, others expanded upon. Overall, MXTX reportedly wrote 100k characters (words) of new content. While the overarching plot of each arc and the novel as a whole remains the same, it's a more cohesive and polished story. Pacing in each part of the story has been adjusted to flow better, especially in arcs notorious for feeling slow or disjointed.

Some segments have had fairly significant changes — namely the Bloody Banquet/Fang Xin Guoshi arc. (Though it still plays out much the same way.) Most others have smaller changes.

A new extra was also added, called "the Ghost King Dressed Down," which has been translated by Scarabsi on twitter.

🔹How does the revised version effect characters?

Apart from certain minor characters — such as the child Lang Ying who was removed entirely — there haven't been many drastic changes. The biggest thing was side characters like Lang Qianqiu and Ling Wen being given notably more backstory to further flesh them out. Their characterization itself hasn't changed, however.

🔹Which version is canon, then?

Whichever you want, and you can mix-and-match! MXTX has given fans her blessings and encouragement!

🔹How do I read the revised version in English?

Currently, there are no official or unofficial English translations of the whole revised version. Nor are there any plans to do so for the near future.

However, there are English fan translations of a few notable chapters, which you can read here. There's also instructions on that site on how to read the rest of the updated webnovel in English, using a browser extension.

Additionally, the audio drama is adapting the uncensored revised version, and has been doing an amazing job! Check out how to listen to that with English subs here.

✨PART TWO: Debunking Rumors & Clearing up Misinformation✨

Note that all chapter numbers given will be referencing the webnovel's. The old chapters are also available towards the bottom of the page as "serialized versions."

(Translated screenshots provided are janky because it's just basic google MTL!)

🔸"Mentions of Mu Qing's mother was removed from the revised!"

Not at all! Both his parents are still mentioned, along with how Mu Qing is the primary breadwinner due to his mom's failing eyesight. (Ch. 57)

🔸"The earring scene isn't there anymore!"

The earring scene is still very much there! Not actually sure why this is a rumor at all, when the whole earring thing spans several chapters. Here's the conclusion of it (Ch. 59):

🔸"Characters have been butchered in general, with Mu Qing especially getting scenes cut!"

No character (who didn't straight-up get deleted) has been butchered. Nor has any character been singled out for having their scenes deleted/changed, because that's happened to every character — yes, including Xie Lian and Hua Cheng! — and they also have new scenes added!

E.g. the scene where Mu Qing picks the cherries is removed, because that whole section was changed. (However, it's still mentioned that others are prejudiced against him due to his background, and so on.) Meanwhile, there's a brand-new scene that shows Mu Qing's aptitude in treating wounds, as well as he and Feng Xin having new hijinks as "junior officials" with Xie Lian, and more.

Despite the rumors, characters haven't been flattened to make them more one-dimensional compared to Hualian. Perhaps the idea of certain scenes being cut sounds scary for characterization, but a lot of the original has been retained one way or another. In many cases, MXTX just condensed things, or moved them around. The revised is meant to be looked at as a whole, after all.

🔸"Mu Qing now leaves for no reason in Book/Arc 4, instead of for his mother!"

Mu Qing clearly states in the revised that he wants to leave in order to find a way to improve their situation, since they anyways cannot agree amongst themselves. Just like in the original, he was frustrated and felt there was no point in continuing along the same path. (Ch 152)

And yes, he does not bring up his mother in the revised scene. For context: there is a three year gap between the end of Book/Arc 2 and the start of 4. Which means in the original, Mu Qing didn't mention his mother for those three years. Given the events leading to his departure, and what follows, this causes several inconsistencies.

That is a whole topic unto itself, however. But it's not surprising the revised did it a bit differently.

🔸"Feng Xin isn't as funny anymore!"

Feng Xin is actually one of the least changed characters! This rumor likely stems from the scene where Xie Lian reveals his password, to Feng Xin, who no longer rolls on the floor while laughing. Or maybe it's a miscommunication based on the printed revised, which censored some of his (and Qi Rong's) cursing. But that was only for the printed!

🔸"Ling Wen's character isn't as interesting because of the changes!"

People will really say anything on the internet. She's been given more depth and complexity, if anything. There's new scenes that expand on her background and early days in heaven, and her relationship with Bai Jing has been given a lot of extra attention. Her motivations and actions remain the same, but if the subtext was missed in the original, it could have led to some readers thinking of Ling Wen as certain way. Like a ruthless girlboss.

The revised reiterating that this isn't the case doesn't change or detract from her, as that was one of the points of her story to begin with. Plus, the revised arc gives Bai Jing much-needed characterization.

🔸"Ling Wen's ascension is now due to Jing Wen/not on her own merit/etc!"

Frankly, this rumor might be due to people not properly understanding how ascension works in TGCF, and thinking the revised is adding something that they forgot was already in the original. The revised didn't change anything about the manner in which Ling Wen ascended.

You can actually check out the revised Brocade Immortal arc here for yourself, as it's been fan translated!

🔸"The dynamic between Hualian is different in the revised!"

Their dynamic is exactly the same as before, only reinforced if anything. If the new additions are enough to destroy someone’s image of Hualian or turn it on its head, that’s definitely not a fault with either novel version!

🔸"The scene where Hua Cheng is disguised as Lang Ying and accidentally catches Xie Lian bathing is removed!"

Unfortunately, yes, the bathing scene is gone. However, Hua Cheng in disguise is still there — he's a village kid instead.

🔸"MXTX made changes to side characters/ships because she felt threatened by their popularity compared to her main couple!"

This one just doesn't really make sense, because several side characters were given *more* content — including their relationships.

Lang Qianqiu finally feels like an actual character. Quan Yizhen and Yin Yu have new stuff about them. Shi Wudu has some clever little cameos. Pei Ming’s feelings about Yushi Huang are brought up. Pei Xiu’s backstory is even more heartbreaking. Qi Rong has new scenes that make him feel genuinely menacing. Xiao Ying’s been completely revamped. These are just to name a few, and excluding things already talked about above.

It seems unlikely that MXTX would go through the trouble of adding to her side characters if she didn’t care about them, felt they weren’t important, or thought they were getting undeserved attention. Besides, popular characters like Shi Qingxuan and He Xuan had no cuts to their arc!

Looking at the actual metrics… MXTX has no need to feel threatened by her side ships vs her main ships.

[spearminthe]

behold. a rather in-depth and extensive series of yumeship questions. minors DNI.

got tired of looking for ask games that cater to a more mature audience, so I slapped this together :] have others submit asks for you via sending in an emoji and its corresponding number (ex. 🫰3, 🏡6, ⛓️‍💥1), or feel free to use these questions for personal writing. be sure to reblog to give others a chance to participate!

many of these questions feature multiple parts, so feel free to pick and choose what pieces to answer based on preference! if your ship utilizes an OC rather than a self insert, or if your ship is a polycule, you're more than welcome to change the wording!

🫰

What initially drew you to your f/o? Are you a longtime fan of the source they originate from, or did you primarily gravitate towards their source out of an interest in them?

How long have you and your f/o been in a relationship in real-time? Do you keep track of your anniversary, and if so, do you like to do anything special to commemorate it?

In what ways do you like to participate in your ship? Do you have a favorite piece of merch/art/writing featuring your f/o? Do you engage with your ship IRL by taking a token of them along on outings?

Do you have only one f/o, or a select elite team built up of several f/o's? If you have multiple, do they interact at all with each other?

What are some things you associate with your f/o? Certain objects, sounds, smells etc.? Are there specific symbolisms behind them? What associations does your f/o form regarding you?

What quote comes to mind when thinking of your f/o — Be it from their source, a poem/lyric/passage, or something original you authored for them? What quote would they choose for you?

If you were to build a mini playlist to associate with your f/o, what 3 songs would you include? What songs would your f/o think to use for you?

What are some common tropes you could use to label your ship at a glance?

💌

What's the setting that your relationship takes place in? Did you bend a bit of canon to work in favor of you and your f/o, or did you throw canon out the window altogether to create an entirely separate AU?

How did you and your f/o come to know each other prior to your relationship? Was it an extended slowburn or a near-immediate whirlwind affair?

Who was the one to pursue the relationship? Was it even reciprocated at first? Was it a big deal, or did you instead forgo a "confession" and one day just quietly acknowledge that you're basically a couple?

How did things change, if at all, between you and your f/o upon becoming "official"? Business as usual, or a complete overhaul of your relationship?

If either of you have prior romantic history, what were your respective reactions to this information? Are either of you each other's first instances of becoming this close to somebody?

Did either of you enter into your relationship expecting something short-lived and no strings attached, or were you intending for things to be serious from the start?

How did the usual exciting "firsts" occur between you and your f/o? First date? First kiss? First time being intimate with each other, if this applies?

What about those more unpleasant "firsts"? First argument? First time seeing the other cry? First time breaking up if y'all are messy?

Who was the first to say "I love you", and what were the circumstances? Did it happen innocuously, or was it terrifying for the one to say it (maybe even the one to hear it)? Was the sentiment mutual?

🏡

Do you and your f/o share a home together? To whose tastes is it catered more towards? If you live separately, how often do you see each other?

Out of you and your f/o, who's the breadwinner and who's the homemaker? Are these kinds of duties shared equally between the two of you? Do you prefer to live modestly or extravagantly?

Are there any other inhabitants that you and your f/o share a space with? Pets? Roommates? Your children? Other members of a polycule?

What does the average workday look like for you as a couple? Unemployed activities at 2pm on a weekday, or are you maybe lucky (or unlucky) enough to be employed at the same establishment?

How do you both like to relax after a long day? Are either of you still bogged down with at-home errands or responsibilities that you have to be pulled away from, just to enjoy some downtime together?

What are the sleeping arrangements like if sharing a bed? Who's the big or little spoon? Who runs hot or cold? Is there even any room for you both to sleep in between an excess of pillows or plushies?

What are some of your daily routines? ex. Getting ready for bed, waking up on weekdays VS weekends, preparing for work VS preparing for an outing together?

Do you have any significant interactions with each other's friends or family? What are their opinions on your relationship?

📋

What are some of the basic highlights of either of your favorite things? ex. Foods, colors, seasons, animals, pieces of media, etc.? Are any of your favorites your f/o's least favorites, or vice versa?

What kinds of hobbies or talents do you each have? Do you engage in activities together that connect any of them, or do you have difficulties finding common ground with each other?

Do the both of your personalities overlap fairly closely, or do you operate on completely opposite temperaments?

How do you or your f/o make each other smile? Laugh? Is it out of genuine funniness, or more out of a polite obligation?

What are some points of contention between the two of you? Are they as simple as habits you find annoying, or are they more substantial such as idealogical differences?

What are some other general differences between you and your f/o physically? Age? Size/height? Aesthetics?

Which of you has a sense of rhythm and which is left floundering if asked to dance? Who can hold a note and who's more prone to breaking glass with their lack (or excess) of pitch?

Are either of you klutzy and accident-prone? Does the other act as a steadying force, or are they just as much of a walking disaster?

🌹

What terms of endearment do you and your f/o use for each other? Are there any particular nick/petnames that get used depending on specific contexts?

Are either of you partial to grand gestures of affection (gifts, PDA, love letters etc.), or is it preferred that you both keep things more low-key?

Who's the shier one between you and your f/o? The more flirtatious? Who's more prone to flustering the other, and through that means? Is it intentional or done completely by accident?

What are your favorite physical features and/or personality quirks belonging to each other? Do either of you have any particular ways of showing appreciation for them?

What sorts of dates do you like to go on together? Are they sweet and chaste, or do they have a tendency of devolving into mischief?

What outfits do you or your f/o break out for special occasions? Are either of you always dressed to the nines, or are there particular ensembles that either of you save to really make an impression?

What circumstances are cause for celebration between you and your f/o? ex. Birthdates, anniversaries, holidays, accomplishments etc.? How do you like to celebrate these occasions?

Do you and your f/o enjoy kissing? What circumstances do you most often share a kiss? What spots do either of you like to kiss the most? If kisses are a no, how else do you two show affection?

❤️‍🔥

What kind of dynamics do you engage in when it comes to intimacy? How important is it to your relationship? Is it intense, or kept lighthearted and fun?

Who's the most likely to initiate intimacy between you and your f/o? In what ways do either of you go about suggesting it? How often do you find yourselves partaking in each other?

In what ways do either of you set the mood? Is it usually a big to-do with meticulous ambiance, or is it more than often a spur of the moment coupling wherever it occurs?

What are some quirks you each have when getting intimate? ex. Who's the louder of the two? The less experienced? The more upfront about what they want? The more expressive with their face/body?

How sensitive is your f/o, and how do they react to being treated in certain ways? What things are the most susceptible to riling them up, be it physical or mental?

Do you or your f/o have favorite positions, acts, or items of play to fall back on? Are either of you particularly adventurous, or are you fairly certain of your preferences?

What's the mood like after everything is said and done? Any special routines to calm down with? Are either of you prone to cuddling or do you find that you need space after?

💍

What opinions do you and your f/o have towards the idea of marriage? Is it something you're actively gunning for, or are you ambivalent/disinterested? Are you already married?

Who is the one to propose, and what are the circumstances in which it occurs? Is it readily accepted, or declined?

In the event of choosing to marry, what is the reasoning? Genuine love? Obligation? Political or financial gain? Just looking for a break on taxes?

If a wedding is involved, how small or grand of an affair is it? Was everything to your liking or did things go awry during the process? What sort of honeymoon followed?

If you and your f/o prefer not to get married, is it more out of an interest in maintaining a long partnership without the whole rigamarole of marriage, or is there an ulterior motive at play?

Do you and your f/o start a family together, married or not? Does it consist of children either of you had prior, or children borne of your relationship? Do you forgo children for a gaggle of pets instead?

Once you've married, does the union stay strong or does it ultimately end in divorce? If you do end up divorcing, is it a permanent end to the relationship or the start to the on-and-off mess of a lifetime?

⛓️‍💥

Are you and your f/o subject to difficulties in your relationship? Does this angst take the form of interpersonal problems, or bigger circumstances happening around the two of you?

Do you or your f/o suffer some form of bodily harm? Be it from engaging in battle, ending up in an accident, maybe dealing with chronic pain? Is the other good at nursing the injured party?

What are some mental trials that plague you or your f/o? How are either of you able to help the other overcome, or at least cope with these sorts of issues?

If the issues surrounding you are more down to earth, what sorts of problems are you dealing with? Jealousy? Bad communication? Deception?

Between you and your f/o, who's usually the rescuer and the one in need of rescuing? Is it interchangable? Is the rescuer successful in saving the one who needs their help?

If your f/o suffers a terrible fate in their source, did you nyx the angst altogether to give them a happy story? Does your f/o come from an otherwise normal story and you chose to pile on the angst voluntarily?

How are you and your f/o ultimately able to rise above the problems happening within or around your relationship, if at all? Is there a good ending in store for you both, or are you doomed by the narrative?

[gaywarcriminals]

Remember that time Xiao Jiu wanted to beat a kid with a brick?

The scene where Shen Jiu threatens Shi Wu is possibly my favorite scene in the whole novel because it tells us so much about qijiu's dynamic, both past and future, and namely, that they're both little freaks (affectionate) who show love in weird ways. I think it particularly exemplifies several of Yue Qingyuan's traits that often go overlooked!

I am just going in order. All excerpts are from the Seven Seas official translation, Volume 4, Chapter 24: Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu.

Shen Jiu fights for resources

“Shen Jiu, don’t think you can just throw your weight around. You don’t own this street. What gives you the right to tell us we can’t stay?!” This main street was wide and even, and many people came and went upon it. If one wanted to beg, it was the best and prime location. Some of the passersby watched this group of children fight, but even more hurried on their way. And this new brat had the gall to challenge him. Shen Jiu looked down and around, preparing to find a brick with which to teach him a lesson, when a tall youth happened to walk over. He saw Shen Jiu rolling up his sleeves, head lowered, and hastily went to stop him. “Xiao-Jiu, let’s go somewhere else.” [...] With Yue Qi standing in front of him, Shiwu grew bold. He leaned forward and yelled, “Every time we go to a new place,you always hog the best spot!

From this we know that Shen Jiu, without fail, tries to claim or fight for the best begging spots in every city. This isn't fully textually supported, but add to that the later section that mentions how Shen Jiu was far better at begging than Yue Qi and I think that, on some level, SJ feels responsible for both his and Yue Qi's wellbeing. Chasing off the other children is not just a selfish act, but also a protective one.

According to the orders given to them, Yue Qi should have wailed and wept, but no matter what, he never could manage to cry. Therefore, this task had instead fallen to Shen Jiu, even though he was faking an illness that supposedly left him too feeble to weep. But he was small and his face wasn’t too unsightly to look at, so whenever he sobbed and bawled, the passersby found him pitiful and generously opened their wallets. It would have been no exaggeration to call him a money tree.

Xiao Jiu fancies himself the breadwinner lol.

How Yue Qi reacts to accusations against Shen Jiu

That first youth took the opportunity to tattle. “Qi-ge, he’s bullying me.” “That wasn’t bullying, Shiwu,” said Yue Qi. “Xiao-Jiu was just joking around.” “Who’s joking?” said Shen Jiu. “I’m telling him to get lost. This is my territory. I’ll kill anyone who tries to steal it.”

I've anyways found this passage so telling of their eventual adult relationship! First of all, Yue Qi implicitly takes Shen Jiu's side, and immediately defends him. This seems to be taken for granted by all characters, so we can assume this is their standard dyanmic. Yue Qi, notably, does not deny that Shen Jiu was threatening Shiwu. In this situation where SJ is actively gearing up for a fight, it would be a very poor defense, and that's probably true of most messes Xiao Jiu got himself into! 

Most of Yue Qi's actions in the scene are attempts to de-escalate. This is just my theory, but I think in Yue Qi's mind, who's at fault is much less important than making sure no one gets in trouble with a higher authority. Even if he knows SJ could win the fight, it would only gain SJ more animosity, and possibly the attention of someone who would be a real danger.

I think it's evident how Yue Qi's ethos of keeping their heads down and not causing trouble or drawing too much attention would feed into how he handled Shen Qingqiu's less commendable behavior as an adult and complaints against Shen Qingqiu.

In the brothel scene later in the extras, we can see that he's conscious of their image. 

Yue Qingyuan yanked Shen Qingqiu off the bed. He was in a rare fit of anger. “Why are you like this?” “Why am I like what?” asked Shen Qingqiu. “Two of Cang Qiong Mountain’s head disciples getting into a huge brawl inside a brothel—does that sound good to you?”

Imo, now entrenched in the politics of the cultivation world, YQY sees protecting SQQ's image/reputation as an important part of protecting SQQ. Yue Qi spent his childhood managing Xiao Jiu, and as an adult, he's not able to so easily break the habit, not matter how SQQ scorns him

Shen Jiu does not get upset by attacks on his character, only from Shiwu calling Yue Qi "Qi-ge"

With Yue Qi standing in front of him, Shiwu grew bold. He leaned forward and yelled, “Every time we go to a new place,you always hog the best spot! Everyone’s been sick of you for ages! You think you’re all that? That everyone’s afraid of you?” “Shiwu,” Yue Qi scolded. Amidst the struggle, Shen Jiu kicked Yue Qi in the shin. “If you want a fight, I’ll give you one. Only losers would blame their spot for their incompetence. You bastard—who’s your Qi-ge? I dare you to say that again!”

Now granted these aren't the most cutting insults, but it's SO interesting to me that Shen Jiu doesn't react to the insults directly. To me, this is a little bit of evidence that, even at this age, Shen Jiu had already decided he was a bad guy, and stopped caring about what others thought of him. The glaring exception to that was, ofc, Yue Qi. I think part of the reason that SJ reactions to the "Qi-ge" specifically, is that Shiwu just said that no one likes Shen Jiu, and then tried to align himself with Yue Qi. I think to SJ, he sees a real threat in the idea of someone else stealing Yue Qi, the one person who likes SJ. SJ is so possessive of Yue Qi not just because he's Qi-ge, but also because, without him, Shen Jiu would have nothing and no one.

Yue Qi tries to deescalate by coaxing/appeasing Shen Jiu

“You’re the bastard! I bet you’ll get sold off soon and end up a pimp!” Yue Qi didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. “Where did you learn that kind of nonsense language?!” Then he dragged Shen Jiu off to the side of the road while coaxing him. “All right, you’re the most competent one here. Even if you didn’t pick and choose your spot, you’d be the best. So let’s change streets.” Shen Jiu stepped on his foot. “Get off me! Like I’m scared! Come on, fight me! Wanna gang up on me? Go ahead!” Of course Yue Qi knew he wasn’t scared. If he really let Shen Jiu brawl with the other kids, he would fight dirty. He’d gouge at their eyes and kick them in the belly or crotch or shin. He was terribly vicious, and the other party would be the one to end up suffering and bawling in terror. Yue Qi forced down a smile. “Are you done stepping on my foot yet? If you are, stop it. Qi-ge will take you somewhere fun.” “What shitty ‘fun’?” Shen Jiu asked savagely. “The most fun I’ll have is if they’re all dead.” Yue Qi looked at him helplessly and shook his head.

Yue Qi only barely scolds Shen Jiu, even when Shen Jiu in the wrong (tried to steal Shiwu's spot and then almost beat up Shiwu). Instead, his reaction is to distract, coax, bribe, and praise him until SJ looses interest in whatever trouble he was going to cause. Yue Qi is so biased, and he spoils him 😂. Even when Yue Qi has so little he can give, he managed to spoil Shen Jiu by giving him so much favor, attention, and affection. 

I think this is something that comes naturally to Yue Qi to the point that he can't help himself from doing the same thing as an adult, even when SJ scorns him. It's just the correct response to seeing a Xiao Jiu! He's the "why do we have hands" meme fr 

Yue Qi smiles imagining Shen Jiu beating up the other kids

Of course Yue Qi knew he wasn’t scared. If he really let Shen Jiu brawl with the other kids, he would fight dirty. He’d gouge at their eyes and kick them in the belly or crotch or shin. He was terribly vicious, and the other party would be the one to end up suffering and bawling in terror. Yue Qi forced down a smile. “Are you done stepping on my foot yet? If you are, stop it. Qi-ge will take you somewhere fun.”

I don't have much to say about this, I just want to remind everyone Yue Qi finds SJ's violent, feral tendencies adorable. This man has no desire to train his cat, and he will insist it's friendly even as it gnaws on his arm.

In Conclusion?

This single scene shows us the trajectory of qijiu's relationship going forward, the strengths of their relationships that became pitfalls. It allows to imagine what they could have become if not torn apart by a world set to doom them.

[trash-raccoon-boy]

Ref sheets for Co-parent au (with some lore)

First our little baby, with his blank stare. He is 3 and is still rather mute besides the few words he knows+chirping.

(Bros like max from Max and Ruby, like he'll just say 1 word on repeat like a broken record sometimes)

Friends with Mei(she's like 4-5), can't hold a human form for long. Normally just in his monkey form, or in a simple disguise.

Loves art and his monkey plush(I did not have room to draw them)

Was woken up to early, by a unknown person.

The Monkey King himself.

So from years of self isolation and not interacting with the outside world besides some promotional stuff (movies, toys ect.), he's gain Hugh social anxiety, this is like stage fright but 10x.

He doesn't go outside, so is a stay at home dad for Mk. He does have a therapist that he does online therapy with to help with it(sometimes they do in person)

She's married to Macaque but not officially, you see they've courted(macaque courted) but by human/modern standers they're not married.

Despite going by baba, he is more of the classic mom. Basically overly worrying about Mk and stuff.(Especially when he was in the rock egg)

Her and macaque have matching earrings.

Him and Macaque used human disguises when Pigsy and Tang first moved in.

The monkey who is one of the breadwinners in this chaotic family.

He was the first to suggest moving to make sure heaven couldn't track them. He bought a house near the city but just slightly on the outskirts (like Meis home kinda, at least with location.) There's still neighbors nearby, just not directly crammed near them.

The reason for this particular location is that it stills let them be within nature, and have their power be disguised with the many beings in Megaopolis. (They take the bus to the city or just walk)

Was revived by the lady bone demon after a few years(centures)after the journey, he planned to kill Wukong or at least confront him. But ended up staying on flower fruit mountain and soon courting him.

Was the first to find Mk's egg after some of the monkeys dragged him over.

They feel immense guilt of Mk hatching centuries too early; he had heard someone on Flower fruit mountain but arrived to late to stop them.

That plus hearing some stuff from the celestial realm, convinced him to leave before the celestial realm could take Mk.

Does theatre (bro's a theater kid), and will preform little shadow plays in the library.

The 2nd bread winner in this family

Knew Tang for a few years before meeting the monkeys(Tang introduced him)

He was struggling living on a strict budget in his noodle shop, before moving in. But was extremely hesitant to accept the offer, his pride had him refusing until he had no choice.

Was meant to be a 1 time thing, it was not.

Despite the two monkeys wearing disguises (Mk didn't have one), he found out who they were easily. It wasn't hard since all he had to do was look at Mk's little dolls and some of those terrible monkey cop shows to realize who they are. (Not to mention they had terrible fake names)

Is married/engaged to Tang(they get married when Mk is 5)

He gets to his business at around 7 to get everything situated and ready to prepare. People come in to order, cause he does not have any workers but himself to deliver fast enough. (Macaque helps sometimes)

He takes the bus, but most the time prefers the tuk tuk or walking as a way to travel. Needs a white noise machine just to feel like he's in the city. (You can hear the city but barely)

And now we got the last man

Is no contact with his family

Goes to college(for what? Idk), studies ancient civilization and the gods. Does a lot of research.

Works at the library part time, met Pigsy when he first moved to Megalopolis.

Met Macaque first and introduced him to Pigsy, was the one to suggest living with the monkeys.

Fell in love with Mk the moment he saw the little baby, would tell him stories about Monkey King and stuff. (Very embarrassed that the actual monkey king heard him tell/inact this stories)

Gets mistaken as Mk's bio dad a lot, it's flattering but it always leaves him a bit flustered.

Both him and Pigsy have legal guardian ship over Mk. This was suggested by Macaque, who thought it would be beneficial. They are in the kids life 24/7, and if there's ever a situation where He and Wukong won't be there he wants Mk to be in good hands.

Was weird around Wukong after finding out who he was. Acted like a nervous little fan boy around him, but now they're chill. Will openly criticize Monkey king with Macaque about a certain story. (Will sometimes still get Excitedable about certain things.)

[kyrumption]

“I live in Mawasi Khan Yunis in a tent with me, my mother, and my two younger brothers under the age of 10. I am the breadwinner for the family, but I do not have any income other than donations. No aid is coming to us in our area. I tried to try to bring aid from officials in the area, but to no avail. I have not brought anything from them and now. We do not have any kind of food. I am trying to have someone donate to me and buy food”

i received this message on twitter, from 19 year old anas, @/anasingaza follow him here ❤️

he was severely injured almost a year ago when his family members were martyred and he lost his arm. he is not only fundraising to fit a prosthetic limb, but for the daily essentials: food.

as i’m sure you know, prices for everything in gaza are astronomical, and people are dying every day from starvation.

please share his campaign, reblog this post and donate if you can ❤️🍉🇵🇸

Anas is very low on funds, this is the only source of money he has to feed his mother and two young brothers, so every donation no matter how small makes a huge difference!!

€1,544/€10,000

@gaza-evacuation-funds @gazafunds @palhelp

[littlest-w01f]

Little Family

Cassian x Single mom!OC (Luna Kaldor)

CASSIAN MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

Summary: When Cassian comes to pick Feyre up from her work, he sees a new girl with her, a girl who sits to herself silently and doesn't talk to any other children, his whole world shifts on its axis when the girl's mother walks in to take her home

Cw: None My fairly new writing

part one - part two - part three - part four

The Starfall was a month away, a year after the inner circle, with the help of Eris Vanserra had the upper hand to defeat Beron when he came to take their territories. But when there is a battle, there is loss, and the city of Velaris lost many lives when the Autumn army attacked the city's people.

One of those lives lost left Luna Kaldor to fend for herself and her child, she was quite thankful to her High Lady and new friend, Feyre Archeron, who had opened up her studio free of charge for every faeling to help them deal with their trauma and loss with the help of art.

Nova didn't like her class, she was the only new kid in weeks, and everyone there already had their friends. She knew she was different from the rest from the way, Feyre, her teacher's eyes had widened seeing her, not just her, but the fae tips of her ears paired with the Illyrian wings on her back.

Nova had felt different during classes in Velaris, but her mother had never let her feel bad about them. She was different from the High Fae, just as lesser Fae were different too.

Now after her father's death, her mother didn't have enough money to keep sending her to classes, or much money at all with how the male in their family had been the breadwinner, while he had Luna stay home to take care of their daughter.

It had taken them months to get into the routine that had now, Luna worked multiple jobs and while she worked, Nova would be in her art teacher's studio.

Nova looked at the mess of paint she had created on the blank canvas, a mess, it looked like a mess, she was a mess.

She knew her father's death had hit her mother hard too, but not in the way of how you would feel if you lost love, but support.

All little Nova knew, was that her parents had the most romantic life, her father, a High Fae, had saved her mother, a female he fell in love with, an Illyrian who was thrown away after having her wings ripped out.

But after a hundred years of marriage, their love had died out, especially after their daughter was born, not because she was a female but because she was born with large Illyrian wings, wings larger than Illyrian children usually had.

Nova frowned slightly, watching the children hang out when each other while she sat by herself, her teacher joining her out of what she asumed, was pity, she felt slightly sad for her High Lady, her teacher who would try to talk to her, hoping she would talk back. Feyre asked her about what she was making, and why she chose the colours she did. Nova only gave a short reply, because she did not know the answer to the questions herself. All Nova knew was that it was a mess of colours.

Cassian had got himself one of Feyre's favourite pastries as he reached closer to the rainbow, he had wanted to pick her up from her class after the day's end, he entered her studio, smiled at the few kids whose parents were yet to pick them up and then pulled his best friend into a bear hug.

"Feyre!" Cassian chuckled, spinning his High Lady around. The fae children had their eyes wide at the Illyrian male with wings tucked in tight who stood in the middle of the studio. Nova gawked at the male, at those wings, wings like hers, and Cassian instantly noticed the girl too, no older than 6 years.

The wings were what drew them both to grow curious about each other, Feyre looked between her friend and her student, and a smirk formed on her face, the smirk of a matchmaker.

"That's Nova, a new student, just started two months ago." Feyre told Cassian, "Her mother officially made her a perminent student a month ago."

Cassian looked at the girl, his eyes noticing the Fae tips of her ears, "She's a halfblood." A statement, not a question, something easily seen.

"Why didn't you tell Rhysand about her?" Cassian asked her.

Feyre blushed suddenly, "I didn't think of it...?" She offered sheepishly while smiling at a couple parents who picked up the last of her students.

"Her mother will pick her up soon, we need to stay till she shows up, I have to talk to her." Feyre sat down, in a strategic way that made Nova and Cassian sit close, opposite each other, her eyes on the door, waiting for Luna to show up, she could talk about inviting her to a family dinner, introduce her friend and her daughter to her family.

Luna entered almost instantly, Nova smiled at her mother and rushed into her arms, "Mommy!" She cheered, her wings fluttering happily.

Feyre watched, holding a breath in as Cassian spun to look at Luna, his breath got caught in his throat as he watched the mother and daughter embrace, the female, she was who he had been looking for all his life, a thread of gold attached itself to him, reaching out to her, the snap almost instantly.

Luna looked up from her daughter to her friend, her eyes caught the Illyrian male, Cassian, whom she knew from his signature red siphons. Cassian gave her a soft smile and her knees nearly buckled at the bond that connected to her.

{Cassian Taglist: @novalovi}

[samsheughan]

Confession I guess?

I figured it's time I was honest with y'all. (below the cut; feel free to skip if it's not your preferred cuppa)

I know I don't owe anyone an explanation of any kind, but as I've always said and stood by, I hold what audience I have with the highest regard and respect and I feel y'all deserve more from me than just the occasional "thanks for reading!" you know?

That being said, I want to let everyone know that, it's official: I am writing an original novel that I do plan to have published as soon as possible. I am planning on this novel being a trilogy of sorts, so there will be multiple books coming from me! :D

I have been writing fanfiction since I was 12 years old. What started on a floppy disk has flourished into a passion that I will always be proud of and grateful for. Writing fanfiction has spared my life more than once, and in the process of writing fanfiction, I have made friends that I know I will have for the rest of my life. I am so SO so grateful to y'all.

However, as time has gone on, and especially in the last few years or so, writing fanfiction felt more like an obligation rather than the hobby it's supposed to be. And that's no fun. But trying to bridge the gap between fanfiction and actual fiction (aka, the kind you can get paid for) has also been a struggle. I had a hard time trying to detach the ideas I had for fics from their respective fandoms and convert them into something that could be an original novel.

I have tried to adapt some of my more popular fanfiction stories into original ones, but a lot of the fandoms I've been in just don't make that an easy prospect (even my Modern AUs are hard to adapt since what makes them Modern AUs is deeply embedded in their respective fandom). But lately, the fog from that cloud seems to have lifted, and I am currently working on the manuscript for my very first novel!

All that aside, you might be wondering: "but Liz! You promised us you'd finished your fic! You promised, you promised, you promised!!" And you're right. I did promise. A promise I still intend to fulfill. I am a woman of my word. Sutures will be finished.

Someday.

But the timeline for that finale is now offcially on an indefinite hiatus. I could wake up tomorrow morning and finish it all and then post it that evening. Or it could be 10 years before I'm able to get back to it. Who can say? I sure as hell cannot. And while I hope I won't have to make y'all wait that long, like Claire, I have a glass face and cannot lie. But I also have to live in reality: I am my family's primary breadwinner. We are all disabled in some form and I am no longer capable of working outside our home. Wolf hasn't been for some time, so us staying home with The Pup just makes more sense now that we have officially pulled him from public school to homeschool him ourselves. Doing something working from home is now my chief focus, and I have to do what I need to do to facilitate that. We are good for the time being though (so much so that I closed the gfm I started a few months ago, so thank you to everyone who helped us out in our time of need 💜)

It has been a lifelong dream of mine to become a published author. A writer of love stories, in every romance genre I can get my wee fingers on! xD I am now in a position to chase that exact dream, and I cannot wait to be able to share what I've been doing!

To the Outlander fandom: my heart is yours from the moment I saw y'all. You've held my spirit with your two hands, and kept it safe (hey, jammf would be proud of me for channeling him here, be quiet :P) I have had many ups and downs with fandoms but I am eternally grateful for the love and appreciation this fandom has showered me with and I hope y'all will continue to stick around to see what else I got up my sleeve!

Stay tuned! Good shit is coming xx

[physics-of-one-piece]

Why Doflamingo Expecting Rosinante To Die For Him Is Not Far Fetched For An European Post WW2 Sibling

For some background, the Donquixote brothers are both, if they were to live in our world, Spanish.

Even if I'm not from Spain, I'm still European, and boy, the generations before me (especially the younger siblings) had it fucked up. It had me raising my eyebrows because... Fuck that.

I remember when I first watched Doflamingo wanting Rosinante to give his life for him being surprised and shocked, since the author is Japanese, and in Japanese culture, it's the older brother protecting the younger brother. I thought despite their "foreign" surname, the Japanese brotherhood culture would prevail, as we've up until this point seen many One Piece siblings where the older ones always protect the younger ones.

Here is an explanation why the Donquixote Brothers were different (if we don't simply follow that Doflamingo is a selfish asshole bcs what kind of brother, regardless of being older or not, wants his other sibling to die?)

In Europe, post WW2, it was COMPLETELY NORMAL for the older siblings to get everything. The European parents, in fact, favoured the older sibling. And by EVERYTHING, I mean EVERYTHING.

The house the parents owned, it is EXPECTED of the younger sibling to GIVE UP their share of the house and give it all to the older sibling. The younger sibling is expected to give everything up to their older sibling and then not say a word and be grateful.

I wish I was joking. This shit HAPPENED. So many of the elderly I know who had an older sibling gave their part of inheritance all to the older sibling.

And they are to expect nothing back. No monetary compensation, no right to even stay at that house anymore. NOTHING.

They were expected to sacrifice everything for their older sibling. Taking care of the older sibling's kids? Yep. Helping their older sibling with homework so the older sibling can get the higher grades even if that means the younger sibling gets lower scores? Yep.

I'm pretty sure it worked the same in Spain post WW2. It's because the oldest brother is the patriarch, the heir, the breadwinner. The younger sibling was not coddled, or treated softly. In fact, parents were more unforgiving toward the younger sibling.

It probably happened in Japan, as well, maybe, at one point, and Oda based it on that. But I think he mostly based it on the European sibling society post WW2.

It could be that even Mariejois raises the younger sibling to be submissive to the older one, regardless of both being Celestial Dragons...

So, yeah, except Doflamingo being completely selfish (which is 99% of the reason he expects Rosinante to give up his life for him) this is another real-life theme that could have been an inspiration for Oda.

In short, it's fucked up. It breaks my heart, because as kids, Doflamingo always made sure Rosinante ate. He was the leader, but he took care of his little brother.

Doflamingo puts his own self-preservation first and foremost, unfortunately, unlike Ace & Sabo for Luffy. Doflamingo included Rosinante in his preservation until he realised his brother wasn't "ride or die" for him as Doflamingo probably was for him.

He even says "My sweet little brother finally shows me his teeth." and I think he didn't want that to happen - it did hurt him. The younger sibling isn't supposed to rebel against the older one. They're supposed to be a team. Sure, Rosinante had to give up everything for Doflamingo, but Doflamingo would pay it back in his own way, I think.

For example, take IRL situation, if Rosinante gave up his share of the house, Doflamingo wouldn't kick Rosinante out of Rosinante's part. Sure, Doflamingo is the official owner, but he'd give his brother his share and let him live there. But that share will never be Rosinante's, unfortunately. He's a guest in his own house and needs to act properly unless he wants to get kicked out. It's messed up. The older brother has too much control over the younger brother's life that way, even if the older brother may not see it as such.

It's just tragic on both ends in the end.

[whoisshel]

What Do I Call You

A golden beam hits directly in your eyes, waking you up, groaning in annoyance, you sit up on the edge of your bed. Slowly getting up, you walk down the couple stairs and over to the kitchen where your amazing boyfriend stood making breakfast for the both of you; shirtless. You walk over to him and wrap your arms around his middle, caressing up and down his stomach.

“Mmm, good morning, Your voice is rough but filled with happiness.

“Good morning, how’d you sleep?” Steve took the last pancake off the pain, then turned around to kiss you.

You shrugged with a smile, “Alright, woke up a couple of times.”

“Little Stevie kicking around in there?” Steve placed a hand on your stomach, rubbing a thumb along it.

Laughing a little, you turned away from him grabbing a glass of water, “We are not naming them Steve.”

“Aw, come on,” Steve dramatically raised his arms up then threw them back to his side, “It’s a great name.”

“Not for my child,” You took a seat on the barstool at the small island in your kitchen.

Steve set a plate in front of you, kissing your cheek, “I’ll convince you soon.”

“I don’t know about that,” You mumbled, before digging into the delicious breakfast, “Have I ever told you what a good housewife you are to me? You make me amazing breakfasts and dinners, do my laundry; you’re so wonderful.

Steve let out a boisterous laugh, “Housewife, huh?”

“Mmhm,” You hummed with a full mouth.

Steve had no problem being labeled as a “housewife” and no problem that you were the “breadwinner��� making the most money. Now that you had a baby on the way, Steve liked the idea of getting to be home to be there for his kid, unlike his own dad. Steve looked forward to all the milestones he’d get to witness, and one day getting to run around with a full house.

“Looks like someone will have to make that official soon,” Steve joked, giving you a look that meant you were the one who had to make that move.

Giving Steve the same look, “Looks like someone will.”

———————

“Honey, I’m home!” You shouted as you entered the house after a day at work.

“I’m in the living room!” Steve shouted back from the short distance.

After taking your shoes off, you walk into the living room and see Steve stretched out on the couch reading a book. You sit on the edge of the couch facing Steve who continues reading. Leaning the book back to get a better look, you see that it’s a book of baby names.

“Find any good names?” You asked, leaning an elbow against the back of the couch to rest your head on your hand.

“A few,” Steve replied, setting the book down on his chest and resting a hand on your stomach, “Did you know that the name Steve means garland, crown, or victorious.”

“Interesting, very interesting,” You said with sarcasm and slight disinterest.

“I also like Bradley, Pete, and Joel for boys and Lana and Charlotte for girls.”

Scrunching up your face trying to look annoyed but really you were holding back a smile, “Aren’t those all from Tom Cruise movies?”

“Maybe,” Steve dragged out the “e” with a small guilty smile on his face.

You shook your head, standing up to walk to your bedroom, “You're ridiculous.”

“Aw, come on,” Steve trailed after you, “You gotta admit they’re not bad.”

“Fine, Lana and Bradley aren’t too bad.” You grumbled.

Steve clapped a single time in cheer, “Ha, I knew you’d like those ones.”

Tugging off your almost too-tight pants, not having made the switch to maternity clothes, “We’ll continue looking for better names though.”

“Fine,” Steve was now the one grumbling, “You find the names you like and we’ll see whose are better.”

“Deal,” You agreed, putting your hand out for him to shake. Steve shakes your hand intensely staring into your eyes, “Now help me get these pants on.”

———————

“I’ve got them, I’ve got them!” You chanted, flailing a notebook in the air. You skip over to where Steve stood cutting up tomatoes for dinner. You set the notebook on the counter, “Here you go, my baby names.”

“Alright, let’s see what you’ve got,” Steve wiped his hands on a towel before picking the notebook up, “Okay, for boys, Ash, Dallas, and Jed. And for girls, Andie, Sloane, and Cherry.”

“What do you think?” You were about to burst from anticipation.

Steve scratched the side of his head, “I think that these names are all characters from movies.”

“At least mine are different movies.” You whined, crossing your arms like a child.

“There are some good contenders here,” Steve rubbed his hands up and down your arm to comfort you which brought a smile to your face, “I like Sloane and Dallas.”

“Those are good, aren’t they?” You asked, very proud of yourself.

Bringing you closer by your arms, Steve kissed you, “They’re lovely.”

“Hopefully one of our names will fit our baby.” You looked down at your four-month belly, placing your hands on it. Steve placed his hands on top of yours. As you’re taking in the peaceful moment, you both feel a fluttering movement, “The baby doesn’t want tomatoes.”

———————

“So, what does everyone think?” You asked, with a bit of worry, what everyone’s opinion would be.

Steve and you sat on the loveseat in your small house, surrounded by your friends. Steve wrapped a comforting arm around your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.

You had invited everyone over to some more opinions on your list of names. Now you all sat, cramped, in your living room. Nancy, Jonathan, Eddie, and Robin sat snug on your couch which wasn’t much bigger than your loveseat. Lucas and Max sat on the arms of the couch, while Dustin, Mike, Will, and Eleven sat in front of everyone on the carpeted floor.

“Have you guys thought about Dustin, ‘cause I think that’s a wonderful name.” The suggestion was of course voiced by Dustin. Steve looked at you nodding in agreement, completely serious.

“That’s not happening,” It was at this moment, that you realized you were going to be the bad cop when it came to Steve and your kids, “Anyone else?”

“What about Ozzy?”

“I think Winnie is very pretty.”

“Ooh, Ziggy.”

“Or Bowie.”

“I’m still going to have to go with Dustin.”

“Okay, okay.” You waved your hands in front of you to get everyone to stop their unwanted opinions, “I was thinking more of what everyone thinks about our list.”

“We appreciate the ideas, but we really like the ones we already have.” Steve chimed in to once again be the good cop.

Everyone let out a collective, “Oh.”

“Well, out of this list,” Nancy picked up the notebook that had the names on it to remind herself of her choices, “My favorites would be Charlotte and Bradley.”

“Yes!” Steve cheered for his picks.

“Those are good ones,” Jonathan spoke up, agreeing with his girlfriend, "They're nice and simple.”

Steve turned to look at you with a bragging smirk.

“He just called them simple.” You pointed out to Steve, trying to stop his gloating.

“As godmother-“

“-That wasn’t agreed on.”

“As godmother,” Robin continued like she wasn't cut off, “I’d pick Andie and Sloane. Boy or girl, they’re good.”

“Thank you, Robin, or should I say, potential godmother.” You and Robin smiled brightly at each other like you just made a deal on something grand.

“The rest of us think Ash is the best boy's name,” Mike voiced for the collective.

Eddie nodded, “Very metal.”

“We’re split on girls though,” Max said, “Eddie, Eleven, and I like Cherry.”

“Mike, Will, and I prefer Lana,” Lucas added.

Everyone turned to look at Dustin, “Have you thought about Dusty?”

“Oh my god,” You deflated into the couch

———————-

Everyone had gone home and the two of you now sat on your bed, sat up against the back, having your usual bedtime conversation.

“We’re never going to figure out a name,” You moped, “Our kids going to be nameless. “Hi, my names Johnny, what’s yours?” “My parents couldn’t couldn’t decide, so they never gave me one.””

“Oh, come on,” Steve chuckled, “We’ve still got five months to pick a name, and we don’t even know the baby’s gender yet. Once we learn that, we’ll eliminate a whole load of names.”

“You're right,” You sighed, leaning into Steve, relaxing as some stress alleviated off of you.

“I always am.”

[roukabi]

My objectively correct opinions on a hadestown adaptation

(Explanation under the cut)

For the purposes of this chart, the hypothetical Hadestown adaptation would follow the original Broadway production (2019).

Lawful Good: Out of all animated possibilites, this would be the medium I'd want to see a HT adaptation in purely for its tangibility and underground atmosphere. Stopmo is considered inherently kitsch and a less 'pretty' animation medium in the eyes of the public. Critics only recognize it if a big name is attached (see Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio, which won the Golden Globe for its running year). Therefore, there's no real fear of an adaptation like this getting too popular, and a smart director would use this tactile medium to restore the scrappy, raw feel of the Vermont production. Even if the conditions aren't perfect, as long as a studio that isn't Laika or Aardman takes the helm, there's a good chance the average stopmo director can be trusted with the show. Overall, this is my pie-in-the-sky option, though it'll probably never happen.

Neutral Good: The next best thing, and hopefully what we will get. Personal preference would leave lyrics the way they were in the original Broadway version, but I can't always get what I want.

Chaotic Good: A stage puppet version of Hadestown gets created and posted for free on YouTube and it gets, like, 100,000 views. The puppets are wonderful, the stage is great, and the actors are... good. Lots of exciting staging options to be had here. Gets as creatively interesting as possible without losing anything to the scope of a screen or animated fluff. Not really an official adaptation but still pretty cool, right?

Lawful Neutral: Look, I love 2D as much as the next guy, but anything could happen. 2D is functionally limitless in what you can do with it, which sets it apart from other mediums... for better or worse. I fear a lot of directors would go crazy with the visuals and forget to ground Hadestown in its emotional core. I think Cartoon Saloon would get it, though. While not the most top-tier team of directors, their eye for visual storytelling is unmatched. Just look at Screecher's Reach if you don't believe me. If they can bring the same amount of writing prowess to Hadestown as they did The Breadwinner, it could work. 2D is also in high demand from certain audiences (though not all), so it could run the risk of getting dangerously generic to appeal to everybody. To quote Chris Sanders, who'd just finished up work on The Lion King when he said this: "This is either gonna be huge, or it's not gonna work at all."

True Neutral: Sometimes it's best to let some shows stay as they are. Hadestown is one of those shows.

Chaotic Neutral: "indie" has become a subjective term I think, because "indie" ranges from "two people with a string" to "Amazon Prime/Netflix-funded, B-list actor, industry-standard tech with a slightly smaller fanbase". That was definitely not a slight at anyone in particular. There's already some college theatre-esque medleys on YouTube, but those aren't really full adaptations. While there'd be a lot of heart and passion in this project, the limited budget/opportunities would detract from the show's scale, and be a little embarrassing to watch tbh.

Lawful Evil: The Wicked treatment. Or maybe the Illumination treatment? Oh, no. Ew. Don't wanna think about that. 3D appeals to general audiences and gets used by the big companies more, so by that association it gets lumped in with the rest of Hollywood. Not great, overproduced, weird casting choices (related snide: in a show that's cultivated a diverse range of vocals, why on earth were Betty Who and Jordan Fisher casted on Broadway? Besides stuntcasting, of course...). A dishonest portrayal of an honest show. Could be worse, though. I can only see a 3D animated adaptation working if some smaller, non-US studio goes absolutely batshit during visdev. Other than that, 3D is too polished and techy to fit the needs of the show.

Neutral Evil: The only good thing that comes out of this is that most people see AI as a cheap scammy tool, so whatever HT-ness comes out of it will not tarnish Hadestown's name too much. I doubt it'd be taken seriously at all, if anyone would even care to look at it. I don't even think AI bros would touch the anticapitalist 'woke' themes with a ten-foot pole.

Chaotic Evil: remember what I said during the Chaotic Neutral bloc? That was about Viv. I don't care that she technically falls into Lawful Neutral, this is its own circle of hell. It's worse than AI because unlike AI, which is forgettable, Viv's understandings of mythology, gender, and politics are actively, stupidly shallow. Can you imagine what would happen to Eurydice and Persephone? Or the Fates? Could you imagine the sexism? The stereotyping? The song 'Flowers' might as well not exist. Persephone would be painted as a crazy drunk abuser. The negative cultural impact + Viv's rabid fanbase would ruin me forever. This idea has cursed me the moment it popped into my head and if I have to think about it, you do, too. Let's hope it never happens.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Prison-tech is a scam - and a harbinger of your future

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/14/minnesota-nice/#shitty-technology-adoption-curve

Here's how the shitty technology adoption curve works: when you want to roll out a new, abusive technology, look for a group of vulnerable people whose complaints are roundly ignored and subject them to your bad idea. Sand the rough edges off on their bodies and lives. Normalize the technological abuse you seek to inflict.

Next: work your way up the privilege gradient. Maybe you start with prisoners, then work your way up to asylum seekers, parolees and mental patients. Then try it on kids and gig workers. Now, college students and blue collar workers. Climb that curve, bit by bit, until you've reached its apex and everyone is living with your shitty technology:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/02/24/gwb-rumsfeld-monsters/#bossware

Prisoners, asylum seekers, drug addicts and other marginalized people are the involuntary early adopters of every form of disciplinary technology. They are the leading indicators of the ways that technology will be ruining your life in the future. They are the harbingers of all our technological doom.

Which brings me to Minnesota.

Minnesota is one of the first states make prison phone-calls free. This is a big deal, because prison phone-calls are a big business. Prisoners are literally a captive audience, and the telecommunications sector is populated by sociopaths, bred and trained to spot and exploit abusive monopoly opportunities. As states across America locked up more and more people for longer and longer terms, the cost of operating prisons skyrocketed, even as states slashed taxes on the rich and turned a blind eye to tax evasion.

This presented telco predators with an unbeatable opportunity: they approached state prison operators and offered them a bargain: "Let us take over the telephone service to your carceral facility and we will levy eye-watering per-minute charges on the most desperate people in the world. Their families – struggling with one breadwinner behind bars – will find the money to pay this ransom, and we'll split the profits with you, the cash-strapped, incarceration-happy state government."

This was the opening salvo, and it turned into a fantastic little money-spinner. Prison telco companies and state prison operators were the public-private partnership from hell. Prison-tech companies openly funneled money to state coffers in the form of kickbacks, even as they secretly bribed prison officials to let them gouge their inmates and inmates' families:

https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2019/02/mississippi-corrections-corruption-bribery-private-prison-hustle/

As digital technology got cheaper and prison-tech companies got greedier, the low end of the shitty tech adoption curve got a lot more crowded. Prison-tech companies started handing out "free" cheap Android tablets to prisoners, laying the groundwork for the next phase of the scam. Once prisoners had tablets, prisons could get rid of phones altogether and charge prisoners – and their families – even higher rates to place calls right to the prisoner's cell.

Then, prisons could end in-person visits and replace them with sub-skype, postage-stamp-sized videoconferencing, at rates even higher than the voice-call rates. Combine that with a ban on mailing letters to and from prisoners – replaced with a service that charged even higher rates to scan mail sent to prisoners, and then charged prisoners to download the scans – and prison-tech companies could claim to be at the vanguard of prison safety, ending the smuggling of dope-impregnated letters and other contraband into the prison system.

Prison-tech invented some wild shit, like the "digital stamp," a mainstay of industry giant Jpay, which requires prisoners to pay for "stamps" to send or receive a "page" of email. If you're keeping score, you've realized that this is a system where prisoners and their families have to pay for calls, "in-person" visits, handwritten letters, and email.

It goes on: prisons shuttered their libraries and replaced them with ebook stores that charged 2-4 times the prices you'd pay for books on the outside. Prisoners were sold digital music at 200-300% markups relative to, say, iTunes.

Remember, these are prisoners: locked up for years or decades, decades during which their families scraped by with a breadwinner behind bars. Prisoners can earn money, sure – as much as $0.89/hour, doing forced labor for companies that contract with prisons for their workforce:

https://www.prisonpolicy.org/blog/2017/04/10/wages/

Of course, there's the odd chance for prisoners to make really big bucks – $2-5/day. All they have to do is "volunteer" to fight raging wildfires:

https://www.hcn.org/articles/climate-desk-wildfire-california-incarcerated-firefighters-face-dangerous-work-low-pay-and-covid19/

So those $3 digital music tracks are being bought by people earning as little as $0.10/hour. Which makes it especially galling when prisons change prison-tech suppliers, whereupon all that digital music is deleted, wiping prisoners' media collection out – forever (literally, for prisoners serving life terms):

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2018/08/captive-audience-how-floridas-prisons-and-drm-made-113m-worth-prisoners-music

Let's recap: America goes on a prison rampage, locking up ever-larger numbers of people for ever-longer sentences. Once inside, prisoners had their access to friends and family rationed, along with access to books, music, education and communities outside. This is very bad for prisoners – strong ties to people outside is closely tied to successful reentry – but it's great for state budgets, and for wardens, thanks to kickbacks:

https://www.prisonpolicy.org/blog/2021/12/21/family_contact/

Back to Minnesota: when Minnesota became the fourth state in the USA where the state, not prisoners, would pay for prison calls, it seemed like they were finally breaking the vicious cycle in which every dollar ripped off of prisoners' family paid 40 cents to the state treasury:

https://www.kaaltv.com/news/no-cost-phone-calls-for-those-incarcerated-in-minnesota/

But – as Katya Schwenk writes for The Lever – what happened next is "a case study in how prison communication companies and their private equity owners have managed to preserve their symbiotic relationship with state corrections agencies despite reforms — at the major expense of incarcerated people and their families":

https://www.levernews.com/wall-streets-new-prison-scam/

Immediately after the state ended the ransoming of prisoners' phone calls, the private-equity backed prison-tech companies that had dug their mouth-parts into the state's prison jacked up the price of all their other digital services. For example, the price of a digital song in a Minnesota prison just jumped from $1.99 to $2.36 (for prisoners earning as little as $0.25/hour).

As Paul Wright from the Human Rights Defense Center told Schwenk, "The ideal world for the private equity owners of these companies is every prisoner has one of their tablets, and every one of those tablets is hooked up to the bank account of someone outside of prison that they can just drain."

The state's new prison-tech supplier promises to double the amount of kickbacks it pays the state each year, thanks to an aggressive expansion into games, money transfers, and other "services." The perverse incentive isn't hard to spot: the more these prison-tech companies charge, the more kickbacks they pay to the prisons.

The primary prison-tech company for Minnesota's prisons is Viapath (nee Global Tel Link), which pioneered price-gouging on in-prison phone calls. Viapath has spent the past two decades being bought and sold by different private equity firms: Goldman Sachs, Veritas Capital, and now the $46b/year American Securities.

Viapath competes with another private equity-backed prison-tech giant: Aventiv (Securus, Jpay), owned by Platinum Equity. Together, Viapath and Aventiv control 90% of the prison-tech market. These companies have a rap-sheet as long as your arm: bribing wardens, stealing from prisoners and their families, and recording prisoner-attorney calls. But these are the kinds of crimes the state punishes with fines and settlements – not by terminating its contracts with these predators.

These companies continue to flout the law. Minnesota's new free-calls system bans prison-tech companies from paying kickbacks to prisons and prison-officials for telcoms services, so the prison-tech companies have rebranded ebooks, music, and money-transfers as non-communications products, and the kickbacks are bigger than ever.

This is the bottom end of the shitty technology adoption curve. Long before Ubisoft started deleting games that you'd bought a "perpetual license" for, prisoners were having their media ganked by an uncaring corporation that knew it was untouchable:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIqyvquTEVU

Revoking your media, charging by the byte for messaging, confiscating things in the name of security and then selling them back to you – these are all tactics that were developed in the prison system, refined, normalized, and then worked up the privilege gradient. Prisoners are living in your technology future. It's just not evenly distributed – yet.

As it happens, prison-tech is at the heart of my next novel, The Bezzle, which comes out on Feb 20. This is a followup to last year's bestselling Red Team Blues, which introduced the world to Marty Hench, a two-fisted, hard-bitten, high-tech forensic accountant who's spent 40 years busting Silicon Valley finance scams:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865878/thebezzle

In The Bezzle, we travel with Marty back to the mid 2000s (Hench is a kind of tech-scam Zelig and every book is a standalone tale of high-tech ripoffs from a different time and place). Marty's trying to help his old pal Scott Warms, a once-high-flying founder who's fallen prey to California's three-strikes law and is now facing decades in a state pen. As bad as things are, they get worse when the prison starts handing out "free" tablet and closing down the visitation room, the library, and the payphones.

This is an entry to the thing I love most about the Hench novels: the opportunity to turn all this dry, financial skullduggery into high-intensity, high-stakes technothriller plot. For me, Marty Hench is a tool for flensing the scam economy of all its layers of respectability bullshit and exposing the rot at the core.

It's not a coincidence that I've got a book coming out in a week that's about something that's in the news right now. I didn't "predict" this current turn – I observed it. The world comes at you fast and technology news flutters past before you can register it. Luckily, I have a method for capturing this stuff as it happens:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/09/the-memex-method/

Writing about tech issues that are long-simmering but still in the periphery is a technique I call "predicting the present." It's the technique I used when I wrote Little Brother, about out-of-control state surveillance of the internet. When Snowden revealed the extent of NSA spying in 2013, people acted as though I'd "predicted" the Snowden revelations:

https://www.wired.com/story/his-writing-radicalized-young-hackers-now-he-wants-to-redeem-them/

But Little Brother and Snowden's own heroic decision have a common origin: the brave whistleblower Mark Klein, who walked into EFF's offices in 2006 and revealed that he'd been ordered by his boss at AT&T to install a beam-splitter into the main fiber trunk so that the NSA could illegally wiretap the entire internet:

https://www.eff.org/document/public-unredacted-klein-declaration

Mark Klein inspired me to write Little Brother – but despite national press attention, the Klein revelations didn't put a stop to NSA spying. The NSA was still conducting its lawless surveillance campaign in 2013, when Snowden, disgusted with NSA leadership for lying to Congress under oath, decided to blow the whistle again:

https://apnews.com/article/business-33a88feb083ea35515de3c73e3d854ad

The assumption that let the NSA get away with mass surveillance was that it would only be weaponized against the people at the bottom of the shitty technology adoption curve: brown people, mostly in other countries. The Snowden revelations made it clear that these were just the beginning, and sure enough, more than a decade later, we have data-brokers sucking up billions in cop kickbacks to enable warrantless surveillance, while virtually following people to abortion clinics, churches, and protests. Mass surveillance is chugging its way up the shitty tech adoption curve with no sign of stopping.

Like Little Brother, The Bezzle is intended as a kind of virtual flythrough of what life is like further down on that curve – a way for readers who have too much agency to be in the crosshairs of a company like Viapath or Avently right now to wake up before that kind of technology comes for them, and to inspire them to take up the cause of the people further down the curve who are mired in it.

The Bezzle is an intense book, but it's also a very fun story – just like Little Brother. It's a book that lays bare the internal technical workings of so many scams, from multi-level marketing to real-estate investment trusts, from music royalty theft to prison-tech, in the course of an ice-cold revenge plot that keeps twisting to the very last page.

It'll drop in six days. I hope you'll check it out:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865878/thebezzle

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 12/17/2024

exactly eleven months unemployed yaaaaay. this is late partly bc i went into a fugue state with a craft

listening

the genshin album with the song im obsessed with is finally officially out. this is background music in the Flower Feather Clan, who are loosely gaucho-inspired but also ride giant firebirds? sick as shit.

it reminds me a lot of aaron copland's rodeo suite and his billy the kid ballet, especially the little hoedown passage at the end.

-

reading

ripping through more stacks of awful fantasy paperbacks. none of them are bad in an interesting way.

great sex reporting as always from sam cole at 404 media. would strongly encourage people to sign up for their newsletter and make a free account to get past the anti-bot-scraping wall

“If anything, the fact that ‘tradwife’ is a trending porn search term reminds me that the entire concept of the tradwife is just influencer marketing in the first place,” Dahl said. “Most tradwife influencers are actually business owners and the primary breadwinners in their homes, so the term itself is kind of an oxymoron if you think about it. Maybe seeing a bunch of porn labeled "tradwife" will help other people to realize that whether it's an Instagram influencer or a Pornhub creator, tradwifery is just a fantasy after all.”

-

watching

Tide-Line Blue, a 2005 anime which should feel made especially for me: i love one-season post-apoc anime. it's available on tubi (which is where i found it dicking around for something to watch) but i'm not really sure why it's so difficult to find videos of it on the actual internet.

Tide-Line Blue is set after an environmental disaster later called the "Hammer of Eden" has submerged 90% of the Earth under water and taken six billion lives. The series begins fourteen years after that event with the new and remaining countries being brought together under the New United Nations. However, Gould, a renegade submarine captain wishes to use military force to create peace in the new world order, while Aoi, the secretary-general of the New UN, wishes to use diplomacy, and a boy named Keel finds himself caught up in the middle of it all.

unfortunately this was VERY bad at laying out and explaining the political drama driving the plot. we do not find out Why the rogue submarine captain went rogue until the second to last episode. and not in a teasing raising the stakes way. we spend So much time with this captain, and his decisions feel quite frankly nonsensical a lot of the times without this EXTREMELY important context we do not find out until a halfhearted flashback when he is remembering something. never is this communicated to one of our main POV characters. ever!

i also had to throw my disbelief into the next county bc an astronaut is trapped up there for seven years on a private imaging-based satellite. that man would be dead. it takes the combined powers of many nations and thousands of engineers to keep the ISS at "not currently exploding". and part of that is bc she is very old and only has a little bit of a taste for blood (unlike skylab which actively tried to kill her astronauts at every opportunity) but ONE guy for SEVEN YEARS is still able to make daily transmissions???? that man should be exploded by now. or in organ failure. the human body is not meant to be in space and does not like being in space, as a general rule.

there's a mom that's just. missing. and this is not particularly remarked upon or relevant. i guess she's off doing her own thing? or maybe dead? very unclear. not important but did annoy me.

very pretty pilot episode, and i had a fun time thinking about the ways people survive during massive sea rise, how communications networks without satellites work (i assume there's a lot of bouncing stuff off the moon but the debri cloud around earth looks fucking gnarly in the outer space segments). really do wish this one was better but it is incoherent at best a lot of the time. "eeeee big ship lots of loving shots of instrumentation" only gets me so far

-

playing

Two Full Years Of Stardew Valley. i picked the beach farm bc i wanted to spend more time fucking around in the mines and uncovering secrets and romancing someone (i have never successfully romanced someone in stardew valley) and then forgot that the farming game does actually want you to do a lot of farming to progress. kind of wish i had not picked the beach farm but i am making a fucking killing selling void and dino mayo and various cheeses. plus my eels are happy?

-

making

my back finally feels mostly very uncomfortable instead of excruciating, and i certainly overdid it today cleaning but my house was Gross. i also ripped apart my vacuum and cleaned the dust canister and filters bc that shit was Gross.

40+ christmas and new years' and some very overdue postcards are in the mail: canadian pals, my post office would not even take yours and said to hang onto them until after the strike. i am so sorry. also i have way more canadian pals than i thought!

there are two kinds of thrift stores: ones that like to bag a billion small items together and have a huge horrible wall of weird bagged shit, and thrift stores that don't do that. this was loose on a shelf, i had to get a goodwill manager to price it, and they said "i dunno. 2.99?" so i have had a very pleasant evening gluing together this extremely thin laser cut wood in the style of a papercraft. thank you goodwill.

[trofysisters]

Тося

В семье Тоси утро молодоженов проходило по расписанию: Илона кормит сына, Виктор кормит всю семью. (In Tosya's family, the newlyweds' morning went according to schedule: Ilona fed her son, Victor fed the whole family)

Поскольку научная лаборатория располагалась недалеко от военной базы, Илона подвозила мужа на работу на служебном вертолете. Может себе позволить, в отличие от простых смертных. (Since the scientific laboratory was located near a military base, Ilona drove her husband to work in a service helicopter. She can afford it, unlike mere mortals)

Маленький Иван оставался на попечении бабушки и дедушки, которым графики работы позволяли присматривать за малышом, пока молодые родители отсутствуют. (Little Ivan remained in the care of his grandparents, whose work schedules allowed them to look after the baby while the young parents were away)

Только Илья после работы не спешил домой к жене, а ходил в гости к соседям. Нужно же кому-то похвастаться своими успехами в работе, например, как он спас голодных и холодных людей, накормив собственноручно приготовленными гамбургерами, став еще более обаятельным и хозяйственным. (Only Ilya after work did not rush home to his wife, but went to visit his neighbors. He needs someone to brag about his successes in his work, for example, how he saved hungry and cold people by feeding them hamburgers he prepared with his own hands, becoming even more charming and a master at cooking)

Неудивительно, что этой замечательной семье цыганка принесла в подарок старинную лампу. (It is not surprising that the gypsy woman brought an antique lamp as a gift to this wonderful family)

Но Виктор добился повышения до безумного ученого собственными силами и умом либо помешательством. Только его сильно расстроило и смутило, что он, привыкший следовать правилам, обратился к производителю за инструкцией по сборке нового механизма, а собрать этот механизм мог бы и ребенок. Хорошо, что в этом мире от смущения не умирают. (But Victor achieved promotion to mad scientist through his own strength and intelligence or insanity. Only he was greatly upset and embarrassed that he, accustomed to following the rules, turned to the manufacturer for instructions on assembling a new mechanism, and a child could have assembled this mechanism. It’s good that in this world people don’t die from embarrassment)

Зато тесть обрадовал его вестью, что он им с Тосей как зять понравился, и они надеются стать с ним лучшими друзьями. (But his father-in-law pleased him with the news that he and Tosya liked him as a son-in-law, and they hoped to become best friends with him)

Но самым прекрасным событием в этот день было взросление Ивана. (But the most wonderful event on this day was Ivan growing up)

Малыш вырос активными и игривым врединой в маму, а застенчивым в папу. (The baby grew up to be active, playful and mischievous like his mother, and shy like his dad)

Виктор тут же занялся обучением сына, чему сам малыш был совершенно не рад. (Victor immediately began teaching his son, which the kid himself was not at all happy about)

Коллега Виктора по работе вручила Илоне в подарок детскую игрушку. Осталось найти только место в квартире, чтобы ее разместить. (Victor’s work colleague gave Ilona a children’s toy as a gift. All that remains is to find a place in the apartment to place it)

Стоило Виктору уехать на работу, как за внука схватились Тося с Ильей. Лучше бы они с таким рвением сыну помогали с его близнецами и беременной женой. (As soon as Victor left for work, Tosya and Ilya grabbed hold of their grandson. It would be better if they helped their son with such zeal with his twins and pregnant wife)

Теперь Виктор может официально считаться добытчиком, ведь его зарплата в 2 раза превышает зарплату жены, и должность он занимает такую же высокую, как и она. К чему еще стремиться? Конечно же, осталось изучить все возможные навыки. (Now Victor can officially be considered the breadwinner, because his salary is 2 times higher than his wife’s salary, and he occupies the same high position as she. What else should he strive for? Of course, he still had to learn all the possible skills)