#officeposting

[phagein]

i had a client try to date his signature as September 12 today and all i could think was

[windows11-official]

It took me longer than I would've expected to figure out if this was actually a gimmick blog or not

I wonder how many Microsoft 365 (formerly Office) subscriptions have been activated thanks to my service. Of course, I have multiple - can't let the indie developers behind that wonderful software starve to death.

[zombie-jed]

Thinkin about vampire Jim Halpert and vamp hunter dwight shrute for some fucking reason

[gumy-shark]

HVAC technicians LOVE to pay for things using the ONE card im not able to input into the system. it’s like their number one favorite activity (next to affectionately making fun of me)

[koheletgirl]

"if you'll be a good girl" is not something i expected to hear on a conference call as a reply to someone saying "please cc me in that email". however, that is a thing that happened today.

[casablancas]

i hope this email dies in a vampire juggalo barn accident

[azekiele]

How am i supposed to focus and work when they are sending emails talking about an "act of submission"

[lilliankillthisman]

If your hours are 0900-1500 and it's 1533 then what are you doing at your desk GET OUT OF HERE!!!!

[the-haunted-office]

🏢 Dorian

Name: Dorian

Role: Office Building

Office of Origin: Itself, The Haunted Office

Age: ???

Pronouns: Will answer to any, but typically referred to by It/Its

Sexuality: It... It's an Office building... But I suppose if you’re into that sorta thing, it's open to anything from anyone if you can, you know, sort out the logistics of it.

Species: Living Building

Personality: A little nervous and unsure of itself, but also chatty and likes to figure things out. It's learning a lot about the world and its place in it, so it is a very curious building. It wants to know all about the critters inhabiting it and what it's doing here. Eager to please.

Physical Appearance: A big office building with ten floors above ground, and a sprawling below ground level. There seem to be hallways and levels that don't seem possible to exist within the physical reality of the actual building, but no one has ever properly mapped it all out either. We're sure it's just a regular office building, anyway.

Abilities: It can talk now. And open all its own doors and windows, turn its own lights off and on. Its most special ability is that of the Tethering Effect, which allows its soul to bind with those of the inhabitants living within its walls, granting them immortality, provided they take care of it.

Brief History: The Haunted Office was once known as ABC Corporation. It wasn’t always alive, nor was it always sentient. When it was first built, it was just a “normal” building by human standards. It had no soul within it, no heart, no brain, no aspect of it that could be considered alive or sentient.

One day it was brought to life, though - by the Monolith. Yes, the same one from 2001: A Space Odyssey.

The Monolith decided that buildings on Earth were creatures in their own right, and deserved sentience, and so it bestowed sentience upon some of them. They became more like trees than animals, though, and their evolution was slow. No humans ever learned that their buildings were alive until the humans from the Haunted Office were released after the Dampening mist was defeated.

Unfortunately by then, the Haunted Office had died. It too had been taken as a host by the mist, and had been killed and had its soul consumed by it without any of the humans ever knowing it was ever alive in the first place.

The humans continued living within its dead husk for a while, going about their lives without the knowledge of who or what exactly they were living in. To them it was just an office building. A strange one, yes, but still just a building.

Until one day Doomsday found a strange object on the moon and brought it to the Office. She was unaware of it at the time, but it was the very same Monolith that had brought life to the buildings before, and upon reuniting with the Haunted Office, it once again brought the building to life.

The sentience in the Haunted Office now is not the same one as before. The previous soul was destroyed entirely by the mist and sadly can never be brought back.

The new soul in it is very curious about its surroundings and eager to learn everything there is about the world around it and its very own existence and place in the world. Sure, things were a little scary when it first became aware - actually, very scary, so scary that it screamed and kept screaming for a while - but then again, life is kind of scary, isn’t it? But perhaps it’s not so scary when you have friends there with you, is it?

Voiceclaim: Jay Britton, specifically the voice in the game Pneuma: Breath of Life

Links:

Open Starters - #dorian open starter Headcanons - #🏢 office memos Musings - #officeposting

Playlist: N/A

[alexanderpearce]

whatever self portraits as office girl on mountain (2024)

[phagein]

POV you’re my boss having an unscheduled Serious Meeting with the other bosses but i need you to sign something so i open the door like

[satyavaswaniis]

forgive me for what i am about to do (officeposting)

[wibblytimey]

Working in an office full of millennials is the most bizzare experience. I was introduced to a manager yesterday via the phrase “this is alex, he is the most precious bean”

I told a manager today that a customer had applied for an incorrect payment and they said “oh god we love that, do people not know how to count?”

All the managers have stuffed toys or fidget toys they walk around with, there’s a guy with a desk full of funky pops, someone is wearing a shirt that says “eat, no sleep, game”. It’s chaos.

[eggbeam]

andy was really terrible and then he was ok and then he was fucking unbearable I cant I hate him so much

[koheletgirl]

so sexy how pdfs can be attached in other pdfs. you wish you had what they have

[hypercam2]

i mean if u really think abt it....... its aaaaaaaall just squarts and erect angles