#offering you some luc stuffs today

[muwitch]

The Tower, Judgement and The Moon for Luc!!

tyyyyyyyyyyyyyy <3 these awesome asks again. God I was sitting head in hands with this, forgive my fuckin' fumbling with words I beg.

Also answered The Moon here!

The Tower: How does Rook respond to an unexpected catastrophe? 

Luc tends to rationalize it. 

There’s a PTSD sort of dread in him ever since his mother was assassinated, of ground slipping from under his feet, of being lost, of the world losing the sense of safeness. It was a catastrophe of his own with no direct control of it or the consequence, reliving it must be avoided at all costs.

As a direct result he has to force himself to make sense of some sort in his mind, so he can approach it from a fixing or acting perspective, because nothing probably breaks him as much as helplessness. If he takes it at face value, if he allows his emotions to get the better of him, it’ll be catastrophic.

It is catastrophic still, but in a different sort of way, of course.

He is incredibly stubborn and his mind immediately takes action as a form of self-preservation/defense mechanism, and it is a sort of evasion tactic that both makes him extremely fit for his job in Veilguard and doesn't allow him to properly process his grief or other complicated emotions. Which can result in a worse response in some situations he actually has no control over. Action is by default a sort of agency in the face of force of nature, action procures results (bad or good), and as long as he is not dead, that’s (probably) good. He should keep going. Trying. Doing something.

Usually he splits one big catastrophe into dozens of little ones, the ones that take away the scale, that thus look manageable, and he takes those tasks as Varric suggests - one step at a time. 

They share that with Neve actually, just to different degrees, where she actually takes time and stops and reflects, because her nature is to stop, ask questions and retrospect. Where Lucius usually accelerates and stuffs that time he should take off to the brim with action. Just as he does after Minrathous gets blighted. (He’s also guilt fueled and believes actions speak louder than words in general, but that’s just another question to tackle which will be answered below)

Often his rationalisation of events comes with detachment and  partial abandonment of humanity, acknowledgement, in a crude way, of some losses that already happened as a fact. Which is not always bad, and it ties to my answer here about his past.

There’s of course a point where his avoidant behaviour and familiar patterns don’t work - there always is the lowest point - when he exhausts himself to the brink and all the action and attempts to grasp the situation fail him. Then he overflows. I wouldn’t say a dam, I would say thunder. In a way it thrashes, rages and wanes, inevitably, against mountains that remain immovable. The way Luc would empty himself of all that he desperately pushed back and avoided is like a rage of wounded animal gnawing on himself.

Judgement: How does Rook approach difficult decisions? How do they cope with the consequences of those choices?

As I mentioned earlier it’s rationalisation. And justification. There should be people to make those uncomfortable decisions, and sometimes, much to everyone’s dismay, it’s up to him. 

There’s a certain level of resignation to be a scrapegoat sometimes, there’s a lingering sense he’s entitled to decide other times.

Some decisions allow him to actually weigh things out and choose lesser evil. Some don’t and Luc has to turn to his gut for that. I think in a way the game itself lays a good ground to watch how those decisions form in progression. Some come right off the bat and the consequences are horrific - as in the whole prologue of the game. Some later, but decision making once Veilguard is formed comes constantly and in a way I feel after Minrathous Luc numbs to them a lot. He takes initiative as well as blame and everything is kind of easier because of already crushing guilt. It doesn’t truly matter until the very end of the game what comes of him in the end, until that indifference and ability to push backfire.

I can’t say he doesn’t learn, quite the contrary (when seen in progression), but he stumbles a lot on the way. He believes for the longest time that he can endure. That if he operates and takes an important leap of faith himself it won’t hit others. 

As for coping…Oh lord.

I really liked the dialogue that was happening after Weisshaupt about the weight of decision making, where Luc resigns that he’s fine with whatever history makes of him, as long as there are people to judge, it means things haven’t been for naught. It's both, as I mentioned, exitus acta probat to an end, and a resignation he comes to after what happened to Minrathous. (Oh, Minrathous, we’re really in it now, I'm gonna use you as an example everywhere).

In reality he copes quite badly. The guilt that guy is capable of feeling is all-consuming, eating him alive and his only coping modus is action and exhaustion to the point of numbness to avoid facing it. Does it help? No. Does it backfire? Absolutely. Do I believe he would marinate in Regret Prison if not to a point external help? More likely than you think.

(Come on. This guy IS The Hanged Man.)

He’s also very good at lying to himself and others aka adopting the role that is expected of him, simultaneously masking his own need of help with coping by jokes and solving everyone else’s problems. I guess Lucius coping is type of an Ouroboros if you will: he does make himself cope because it is a difficult decision he must make, a sacrifice, and by making those decision he forces this “coping” of his upon himself as a punishment and doesn’t really allow room for mindful retrospection and living though emotions that come with the consequences of his actions.

[vgckwb]

ML: Are They Worthy? Chapter 85: Flying Free!/Monarch

(WARNING: Mild Transphobia.)

Marinette and Adrien were in the middle of their first kiss since Marinette woke up from passing out. Once they finished, they looked at each other and blushed. “So, um, what did I miss?” Marinette asked.

Adrien was taken aback by this question. Of course it was a natural thing to ask, but Adrien, the romantic he is, was still caught up in the emotions of the moment. Still, he answered. “Well, not a whole lot. We’ve all been taking turns to see if we can’t find Nurushwa. Master Fu, Marianne, Hao-Yu, and Corina are preparing some bigger measures to locate them as well.”

“I see…” Marinette said, taking in the information.

“You OK?” Adrien asked.

“Huh? Oh yeah” Marinette answered. “Well, as OK as I can be at a time like this.”

“Right” Adrien giggled.

“I’m just thinking about things,” Marinette continued.

Adrien smiled. “It’s fine. Take your time. Oh, I guess the biggest thing that happened was with Katelyn.”

Marinette was intrigued. “Max’s girlfriend?”

“Yeah,” Adrien said. “Apparently, it’s a lot.”

“Well, I’m not really going anywhere anytime soon,” Marinette said.

“Right,” Adrien said, embarrassed. Adrien pulled up a chair and sat down. “So, where to begin. I guess a good place would be to explain why it was those heroes we met. Before everything...happened, Katelyn had asked Max to help pick her brother and his girlfriend up, as they were coming to check in on Katelyn.” Adrien proceeded to tell Marinette the rest of the story leading up to the heroes chasing Effector to the hospital as Vlad told him. “...And that’s where we came in.”

Marinette was shocked. “Wow. That’s...a lot…”

“Yeah…” Adrien agreed.

“So, what happened then?” Marinette said.

“Well…” Adrien began, “we, you, saved Paris…”

Marinette giggled. “Right. But then what?”

“I’ll take it from here,” Vlad said, appearing at the doorway.

“Vlad?” Marinette and Adrien said at the same time.

“Finally awake, huh?” Vlad asked. “Nice. Did Prince Charming have to give you another kiss there, Sleeping Beauty?” Marinette and Adrien blushed. “But for real, I’m glad you’re up.”

“Hi Vladdy,” Emile said.

“‘Vladdy’?” Marinette said.

Vlad got embarrassed. “Please don’t…” Emilie giggled.

“You two know each other?” Marinette asked.

“Well, uh, yeah,” Vlad said. “I came to visit a few times.”

Marinette stopped to think. “How long was I out?”

Adrien was hesitant to answer. “Um, about a week…”

“A WEEK?!” Marinette shrieked.

“Relax,” Vlad said. “That’s actually rather impressive, considering that most people that do what you did don’t wake up at all.”

“...I guess” Marinette relented.

Vlad smiled. “In all seriousness, I’m glad you’re awake.”

Marinette smiled in response. “Thank you.”

Emilie smiled as well. She then pressed on. “So, what happened after that? With Katelyn, I mean.”

“Well, after Adrien, Mr. Agreste, and the more well-versed in the miraculous rushed Marinette to the hospital,” Vlad began. “Everyone else made a sweep of the city to see if everything was alright.”

Flashback to the post-battle Paris, as heroes are leaping around, checking every nook and cranny to make sure everyone was alright, and make sure that despite the scale, there was no lasting damage. A series of clears confirmed that Ladybug’s cure worked as always.

Meanwhile, Katelyn was walking back to find her brother and his girlfriend. Nooroo popped out. “Um, hi” he said. Katelyn didn’t look at him. “How are you?” Nooroo continued. Still nothing. Nooroo got in her face. “Hello?!”

“Gah!” Katelyn shrieked. She sighed, relieved. “Sorry. I guess I’m not used to you yet.”

Nooroo giggled. “It’s fine.” Katelyn smiled for a second, then went back to frowning. “What’s wrong?” Nooroo asked.

“Well…” Katelyn began. She sighed. “It’s just...my family.”

“I’m sure they’re safe,” Nooroo assured her.

“I don’t doubt it,” replied Katelyn, “but in some ways that might be a problem.”

Nooroo sighed. “Yeah. I noticed.” Katelyn looked at him confused. “I mean, I was there when ‘Effector’ took control of your brother. I don’t see the point in lying about this.”

“True” Katelyn agreed. “Still, I guess I have to face this head on.”

Nooroo’s tummy grumbled. “If you want to delay it, I could use some food.”

Katelyn smiled. “Sure. You helped save the city after all. What kind of food do you like?”

“Personally, I really like strawberries,” Nooroo answered. Katelyn checked her phone to see where she could get some good strawberries. “Plus, if need be, Hazmat could make a return once I’m full.”

“As tempting as that sounds, I want to see if we can’t resolve this without powers first” Katelyn replied.

“Duly noted,” Nooroo said. They went and picked up some strawberries. Katelyn handed one to Nooroo. He settled into her right hoodie pocket, and he bit into it. “Mmmmmmmm.” Eventually, they came upon ground zero; the place where Katelyn, Luc, and everyone else met her nightmare parents. Katelyn looked on, frozen. “Hey” Nooroo said in between bites of his strawberry. “You got this!”

Katelyn smiled at him. “Thanks.” She looked back up and walked forward.

To her surprise, Luc and Olivia were the first two people she saw. Although, she wasn’t sure who wouldn’t surprise her. Luc saw her. “KATELYN!” he said. He rushed up to hug her. “I’m glad you're safe.”

Katelyn felt better after getting a hug from her brother. She hugged him back. “I’m glad you’re safe too.” They ended their hug. “So, um, hm” Katelyn began. “When you were Hazmat, you ended up telling me that you’re moving back here, and wanted me to live with you.”

This caught Luc off guard. “Oh. Well…yeah. That was supposed to be a surprise though.”

Katelyn smiled. “It’s fine. And I’d love that.”

Luc smiled back. “Thank you.” They shared another hug.

“So, when are you moving?” Katelyn asked.

“Oh, uh, well,” Luc said, letting go, “I’m not entirely sure. I mean, I did want to make it soon, but I’m not sure how things here are going to be. Paris just went through two city-wide assaults in a week.”

“Yeah” Katelyn said.

“But” Olivia said, stepping up to them, “we will call you once everything is settled.”

Katelyn smiled at her. “I’d love that.”

“Katelyn!” Max called out. He turned to find the group. He ran over and gave Katelyn a hug. Katelyn was surprised, blushed, and hugged back. After being in the hug for a bit, the two shared a kiss.

“Katelyn!” her mom called out, causing the group to be startled. She and Max let go. “Katelyn! Ah, there you are.”

“Come on, let’s go,” her father said.

Katelyn had had enough. She had enough of being alone and divided by people who were supposed to care about her. For a while, she had no one in school that liked her, a boyfriend who gave up on her, a friend group that kept an arm’s length from her, and parents who separated her and her brother because of their own pettiness. Now, she had an amazing boyfriend, wonderful new friends, her old friends were rounding a corner, and she had the promise to be reunited with her brother, the person she looked up to the most.

“No!” Katleyn said in defiance. Her parents were shocked. “I don’t want to! Luc offered to let me stay with him, and I agreed to it!”

Her parents gave each other a confused look. “But sweetie, we’re your parents” her mom tried reasoning.

“Biologically speaking, maybe so,” Max said, stepping in, “but in terms of being actual parents, I’d disagree. Time and time again, you’ve ignored her pain and suffering. That doesn’t scream ‘parenting’ to me whatsoever.”

Katelyn’s parents were shocked. “The audacity,” her father said. “Where does he get off saying things like that?”

“He’s my boyfriend!” Katelyn shouted back. Her parents were even more surprised. “And he’s been helping me with everything! From making friends, to getting back into school. Everything he’s done he’s done because he cares about me. Not because he cares about keeping up appearances.”

“He’s your boyfriend?” Katelyn’s mom said, condescending.

Katelyn nodded. “And I love him!” She and her parents stared off with each other.

Her father stepped forward. “Well,” he said, menacingly, “it seems like we haven’t disciplined you enough.” He raised his hand, ready to strike. Max’s eyes were wide in shock and horror. Katelyn didn’t flinch, as if she was used to what was going to come next.

Before Katelyn’s father could slap her across the face, his arm was grabbed. He turned to see Kim giving him a thousand yard stare. Following that, Ondine, Kagami, Vlad, Travis, and Casandra formed a wall between Katelyn and her father. Max was relieved, Katelyn was surprised.

Katelyn’s dad broke off from Kim. “Gah! Fine! If you’re so dead set on standing against nature, then so be it. But don’t come back unless you see things our way.” He turned around. “Let’s go honey,” he said to his wife.

Katelyn’s mom gave the crowd one last look. A sea of anger and disappointment looked back at her. She tried having her cake and eating it too by saying “We’ll be waiting.” She left with her husband.

Everyone seemed relieved. “Boy, I’m glad that’s over,” Kim said.

“Yeah. Talk about a nightmare” Vlad responded.

“I’ll say,” Travis added. “Any longer, and I don’t know what I would have done.”

Katelyn smiled. “Hm. Thanks.”

“Don’t go thankin’ me, I woulda done that for anyone” Cassandra said. “Besides, we just met today.”

“Don’t be so modest,” Travis said.

“He’s right,” Katelyn said. “I don’t know if I would have had the strength to do what you did if the tables were turned.”

“Well, I can’t blame you,” Kagami said. “I mean, my mom’s not THAT bad, but I do understand being pressured by your parents like that.”

“Thanks,” Katelyn said.

“Um, not to ruin the mood,” Luc said, “but we haven’t moved to Paris yet.”

“It’s fine,” Ondine said. “She can stay with me.” She grabbed Katelyn’s hands. “It’ll be a fun time between us girls.”

Katelyn smiled. “I’d like that.”

“But what about all your stuff?” Olivia asked.

“I don’t care,” Katelyn said. “As long as I’m out of there, I think I’ll be fine.”

“Well then, should we head to the cafe?” Kim offered up.

“Sure” Olivia answered.

“I don’t have anything better to do,” Vlad said. “And personally, I’d like to celebrate Paris’s heroes winning another large-scale battle.”

The group all came to that agreement and headed off. “Wait” Max said, pulling Katelyn back while the rest of the group moved forward. “Are you sure you don’t want your stuff? Because there are ways of getting it.” Kaalki flew up beside him.

Nooroo flew up next to Katelyn. “Well, it’s just stuff. I can get new things.” She thought about it. “But, this could be another way to punish evil. Let me think about it.” Max nodded, and they caught up with the rest of the group while their kwamis hid.

Once they got into the cafe, they took turns placing their order. After which, Luc looked embarrassed, but a little serious at the same time. “Well, even though the whole moving back to Paris thing was...a messy reveal to say the least,” he turned to Olivia, “do you want to tell them the second part of the surprise?”

“There’s more?” Katelyn asked. Olivia nodded. She reached into her pocket, fiddle with her hands for a second, and then showed off a diamond ring. Katelyn was stunned. “No WAY!”

“Heh” Luc laughed. “Yeah way.”

“You did NOT” Katelyn threw back.

“I absolutely did,” Luc said.

“You’re getting MARRIED?!” Katelyn exclaimed.

“Yup” Luc answered.

Katelyn rushed to give her brother a hug. Luc was caught off guard for a second, but then hugged her back. Katelyn looked up. “Congratulations.”

Luc smiled. “Thanks.”

Olivia held up her hand, and looked at her ring. “He proposed to me Friday,” she looked back at the group, “and we wanted to tell you right away, but, well…”

Katelyn let go of Luc and sat back down. Luc continued “We were still too excited Saturday morning. And then Saturday night...well...you know…”

“So we thought we’d do it in person,” Olivia finished. “Although we didn’t expect that whole thing to happen.”

“Right…” Katelyn said.

“Still, congratulations” Max said.

“Thanks little buddy,” Luc said. Max got a little embarrassed.

Their food and drinks arrived, and they began eating and drinking. “So,” Vlad began, “I’m happy for you and all, but it does feel like we’re in the way a little bit.”

Luc looked over at Vlad. “I guess that’s sort of true. But you guys are Katelyn’s friends, and you stuck up for not only her, but me as well. So maybe we can use this time to get to know each other a little better.”

Vlad smiled. “I’d like that.” They spent some time introducing themselves to everyone, and generally having a good time.

Once they finished their meal, they walked out of the cafe. “Well that was delightful,” Olivia said.

“I’ll say,” said Travis.

Luc turned to face Katelyn. “So, I know you’re going to be moving in with Ondine until we finalize our move,” he said, “but for our visit, do you wanna stay with us at Le Grand Paris?”

Katelyn smiled. “Of course.”

“Well then, wanna go now?” Luc asked.”Today’s been busy as is. I don’t feel like doing much, ya know?”

Katelyn giggled. “I get what you mean. But I do want to talk this all out with Ondine’s parents if that’s alright.”

Luc nodded. “I wanna see what they’re like. I mean, they’re going to be taking care of you. I know that bar is low, considering mom and dad, but still.”

Ondine chortled. “Oh, I’m sure you’ll love them. Let’s go then.” Ondine led the way, as Katelyn, Luc, Olivia, Max, and Kim followed.

Vlad, Kagami, Travis, and Casandra waved goodbye, going their separate ways. “So” Cassandra said, after they were far enough away, “Ryuko and Judgement Wolf.” Kagami and Vlad were a little embarrassed. “You have to tell me the stories behind that.”

“Well, you essentially know the story of Ryuko,” Kagami answered. “It was when we first partook in that fencing tournament. Ladybug called me in for help for the first time then.”

“Oh, I was your first?” Travis said excitedly. “I hope I was a great adversary.”

Kagami got a little more serious. “Well, to be honest, I wasn’t looking for a good adversary. Fencing for honor and prestige is different from fighting to save Paris from burning.”

“I guess that’s fair,” Travis said, dejected.

“So, what about you, Vlad?” Cassandra said, changing the subject.

“Well, that’s a bit different,” Vlad said.

In the present, Vlad explained “I basically told them everything.”

“Huh,” Marinette said.

“Are you OK with that?” Vlad asked. “As the guardian?”

Marinette smiled. “Even if I wasn’t, I don’t have much authority over you, holder of the wolf miraculous.”

Vlad chuckled. “Well, you have my allegiance.”

Marinette chuckled in return. “But, since you seem to trust them enough with that information, I’d say it’s fine. So, is that it?”

“Nope,” Vlad answered.

“Well then, continue,” Marinette insisted.

“Please do,” Emilie said. “I am absolutely enthralled.”

“Very well” Vlad acquiesced. “Before I begin, a lot of what happens next I got from Max.” Marinette nodded. “Heh. Well…”

When the group heading to Ondine’s place got there, Ondine knocked on her door. A man, Ondine’s dad, a beanpole-looking guy wearing a black turtleneck, black pants, glasses, and combed back shoulder-length black hair opened the door. “Hi dad,” Ondine said.

Ondine’s dad rushed to give her a hug. “I’m so glad you’re safe, angel.”

“Daaad,” Ondine said, slightly embarrassed. She eventually hugged him back. “I’m glad you’re safe too.”

They let go of each other. Ondine’s dad called out. “Honey! Ondine’s home!”

They walked up. Ondine called out “Papa!” It was another man. He was muscular, had short orange hair, a beard that was as long as their neck, a white shirt, and navy blue sweatpants. Ondine hugged him as well.

“Ah, sweetie, good to see you too,” Ondine’s papa said, hugging her as well. He looked out at everyone else. “My, it seems like you’ve got quite a crowd of people.”

“Ah, yes, well,” Ondine said, breaking off from her papa, “there’s something you should know.”

Ondine’s papa looked at everyone else. “Well, it seems serious. Come on in.” Everyone flowed into Ondine’s house. They sat around Ondine’s living room, as Ondine’s dad offered drinks and snacks. After an explanation, Ondine’s papa said “I see…”

“I just really want to make sure my sis is in good hands, you know?” Luc finished explaining.

“Well, don’t worry,” Ondine’s papa said. “Your sister’s safe with us.”

“Ondine has told us so much about Katelyn, how can we NOT like her?” Ondine’s dad added.

“Besides,” Ondine’s papa said, “how can I say no to another trans man?”

Luc was stunned. “You’re trans as well?”

Ondine’s papa nodded. “Although I’m a little late to the party. Pretty much five seconds after Ondine told us she was trans, I realized I was as well.”

“Well, you look, and are, amazing,” Luc said.

“Thank you” Ondine’s papa said.

Katelyn smiled. “Um, thank you” she let out.

Ondine’s papa smiled back. “You’re welcome.”

“C’mon, let me show you around!” Ondine said, excitedly. She dragged Katelyn around her house giving off a tour of everything. Meanwhile, Max smiled, knowing his girlfriend was in good hands.

Later that night, Vlad had returned home from spending time with Kagami, Travis, and Casandra. “Well Beyyo, are you ready?” Beyyo nodded. “Well then.”

Before Vlad could transform, Pegasus entered in via his powers. “Um, mind if I join you?”

Vlad smiled. “I was going to ask you, but you beat me to it.” Pegasus smiled back. “Beyyo! Fangs Sharpen!” He transformed into Judgement Wolf.

“Gallop!” Pegasus said. He opened another portal, and he and Judgement Wolf walked through.

They found themselves in Le Grand Paris, standing in front of a sleeping Katelyn. Pegasus blushed. Nooroo appeared. “So soon?” he inquired.

“The sooner the better, right?” Judgement Wolf said. He turned to Pegasus. “My test for her might be a bit much. So you gotta be there for her once it’s over.” Pegasus nodded.

“Very well” Nooroo relented. “If Pegasus is coming too.”

Judgement Wolf nodded. “Wolf Mist!” He created his mist, thrust it upon Katelyn, and he, Pegasus, and Nooroo entered.

Katelyn had arrived at Max’s table upon Max’s request. “Hey” she said. She noticed Max looked despondent. “What’s up?

Max sighed. “I guess there’s no easy way to say this. I think we should break up.”

“WHAT?!” Pegasus yelled.

“Easy” Judgement Wolf replied. “I get you’re upset, but this is the best thing I could think of.”

“She’ll pass,” Nooroo said, assuredly.

“What makes you so sure?” Judgement Wolf asked.

“I’ve seen a lot of people akumatized under Hawk Moth,” Nooroo began explaining, “but she’s something special. And as much as Hawk Moth was a villain, he was smart, and he made a good choice on who to give me too.”

“I see,” Judgement Wolf said. “Let’s see if you’re correct.”

Back in the dream, Katelyn went pale. “Oh.”

“Are you OK?” Max said.

“Yeah,” Katelyn answered. “Yeah. I guess...I guess we’re not a couple anymore. Excuse me. I need some air.” Katelyn walked off, and then started running. Once she was outside on the steps, she started bawling her eyes out.

Once she could cry no more, she lifted her head from her hands. Her eyes were as red as can be. She fished out the butterfly miraculous from her pocket. She gripped it tightly. “I’m sorry.” She got up and walked off.

A few minutes later, she knocked on a door. Marinette opened it up. “Katelyn? What are you doing here?”

After some silence, Katelyn let out “Max broke up with me.”

Marinette was shocked.”I’m so sorry.”

Katelyn sighed. “I’m here to relinquish the butterfly miraculous.”

“WHAT?” Marintte exclaimed.

“You’ve known Max longer out of the two of us,” Katelyn explained, “and I don’t want to make you choose between the two of us.” Marinette looked on, still stunned by this whirlwind of news. “I hope we can still be friends.”

Before Marinette could answer, the world faded to white around Katelyn. “Well,” Judgement Wolf said. Katelyn turned to him to also see Pegasus and Nooroo. “I will admit, there were a few things you could have done to pass, but I wasn’t expecting this one.”

“I didn’t give him the idea,” Pegasus nervously explained.

“You should have seen him when he saw what this test was about,'' Judgement Wolf added. “He was furious.”

Katelyn looked at Pegasus. “You were?”

“Well…” Pegasus blushed. He then collected himself and walked over to his lady love. “Of course I was. I would never do that to you.” He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a kiss.

After the kiss, Nooroo flew up to Katelyn. “I knew you could do it.”

“Thanks,” Katelyn said.

“You should hear from Beyyo soon” Judgement Wolf explained.

“Wait!” Katelyn said. “If it’s all the same to you, can I choose the time?”

“Why?” Jugement Wolf asked.

“Well, Pegasus here presented an idea to me earlier, and I want to follow through on it tomorrow” Katelyn explained. “I want him to meet me after that.”

“Very well,” Judgement Wolf answered. “Pegasus, let’s go. It appears you have plans tomorrow.” Pegasus nodded, and he left.

Before leaving, Nooroo said “See you later.” Judgement Wolf left with a nod of understanding, and Katelyn gave one back.

The next day, Pegasus teleported into Carter’s room. “Pegasus?” he exclaimed in confusion.

“Do you wish to be a force for good again?” Pegasus asked. Carter nodded. “Take my hand, and bring your controller.” Carter did so, and together they walked through the portal.

They found themselves at Parc des Princes. Carter seemed confused. Up in the stands, in the shadows, a tenshi was released. It flew down towards Carter. Carter looked at Pegasus, and Pegasus nodded. Carter held up his controller, and the tenshi fused with it.

“Nighthawk. I am Monarch” she said. We see Monarch in her full uniform. She had purple butterfly-shaped sunglasses, a purple dress stylized to look like a butterfly, dark purple gloves that covered most of her arms, black tights, and black Mary Janes. “Your friend, Katelyn, has left her parents house.”

“Is she lost?” Carter asked.

“No,” Monarch answered. “She did this on her own volition. She’s leaving for good.”

“Oh” Carter said, shocked. He thought about it. “I guess that sort of makes sense. From what I’ve seen, they aren’t the most welcome.”

“However, all of her stuff is still at her house,” Monarch continued. “Can I trust you to retrieve it all?”

Carter smiled. “Very much so.”

“Good,” Monarch said. Carter transformed into Nighthawk. Pegasus fetched Gerard, Laurence, and Terry for extra man-power. Together, they arrived at Katelyn’s old house, much to the surprise of her parents, and grabbed all of her stuff. Monarch guided them on what that was.

After they took everything, they piled it up in Parc des Princes. “Thank you,” Pegasus told them. “We’ll take it from here.”

Nighthawk nodded. “No problem. And Monarch. If you ever need anything in the future, I’m available for you any day of the week.”

Monarch smiled. “Thank you.” She recalled the tenshi, and Pegasus took them back to their respective homes. Soon after, they worked on transporting all of this to Ondine’s house.

In the present, Vlad was wrapping everything up. “Once that got settled, Beyyo came to her and gave his seal of approval as well. And I guess that’s it.”

“Oh” Marinette said.

“What a wonderful ending” Emilie said.

“So, yeah,” Adrien began, “I guess that’s the biggest thing that has happened since you’ve been out. Otherwise, it’s basically been the city trying to work to get itself going again, and father’s arrest.”

Marinette thought. “Well, I guess I need to work to get myself going again too. I can’t stay here forever.” Adrien smiled. Suddenly, someone appeared at the door. They all looked. “Katelyn?”

Katelyn was surprised and overjoyed to see Marinette awake. Max walked up. “Wait up next time.” He looked in. “Marinette! You’re awake!” Marinette nodded.

Katelyn walked over to Marinette’s bed. Adrien could tell that something was about to happen, so he politely stepped out of Katelyn’s way. Katelyn came face to face with Marinette. Marinette seemed confused and concerned, while Katelyn was embarrassed, but also trying to keep a brave face.

Finally, Katelyn began to speak. “Marinette…Ladybug...I know that the holder of the wolf miraculous approved of me, and based on my understanding, that is a lot, but I want to hear it from you. Do you accept me having this ?” She held up the butterfly miraculous.

Everyone in the room was surprised. After the initial shock, Marinette calmed down and said “Yes.” This surprised Katelyn. “To be honest, while we haven’t interacted a whole lot, I’ve seen a very noticeable difference in Max since the two of you started dating. I think you draw out the best in him, and he the best in you. And with you on the team, I think that can be very helpful, not to mention fun. Plus, I can only assume that going forward, we’ll become even better friends.”

Katelyn was stunned throughout this explanation. As soon as she processed it, she started crying and smiled. “Thank you, Ladybug.”

[all-things-skam]

Jens’ season: chapter nine

Saturday, February 29th

Feeling the bed shift next to him, a smile broke out on Jens' face as he remembered last night's events. His plans had completely shifted and he couldn't be more happy - sorry, Robbe.

His heart began to swell, filled with endless happiness. He had thought Lucas was asleep when he confessed his feelings to him. That's why Jens allowed himself to say those three words. Given the Dutch boy's steady and slow breathing, he should've been asleep - but he wasn't -, which turned out to be a good thing. If he had been, Lucas wouldn't have reciprocated the words.

Jens felt his smile deepen. Lucas loved him back. Life couldn't be better.

At least, at 8am on a Saturday.

Lucas woke up not long after Jens, both still sleepy but also needy. He nuzzled his face into Jens' neck and along his shoulder, fighting sleep. That boy was really cuddly in the morning. Not that Jens minded.

Jens wished all his mornings would be like this. Warm, lazy and filled with kisses from the prettiest boy. It was as close to a perfect morning as it could get.

Lucas bit Jens' bottom lip and let it go with a 'pop'. ''Do we have any plans for today? Or are we staying in bed all day? Not that I'd mind.''

''We?''

The brunet hummed, blue irises looking up at Jens. ''I told you. It's my mom's weekend. I don't need to go home. I can stay here instead.''

A content smile formed on Jens' lips. ''I'd like that very much.''

Now that Jens had come out to the boys, he could officially introduce Lucas to them, but staying home and keeping Lucas for himself sounded better. Much better.

He leaned down to join their lips together, one of his hands sliding under the blanket and down Lucas' body. His hand was about to slide inside Lucas' boxers when his bedroom door opened and Lotte walked in, forcing their little 'fun' to end before it even started.

''Lucas!'' she squealed, eyes sparkling with joy the second she saw him in her brother's bed. Lotte jumped on the bed with them, clueless about what almost happened. ''I didn't know you were here.''

Lucas forced an awkward smile, cheeks flushed from the situation.

''Does Mama know?''

''Yes.''

Lotte knitted her eyebrows, staring at her brother, trying to figure out if he was lying. ''That's a lie. If she had known, you wouldn't have been startled when I came in.''

Jens groaned. If only she knew why he was startled... ''Lotte, can you go bother someone else? It's 8am, let me go back to sleep.''

''No! Dad left for work so Mama and I are making waffles downstairs.'' She turned to Lucas. ''Are you staying for breakfast, Lucas?''

The brunet cleared his voice. ''I guess I am.''

Grinning, Lotte took Lucas' hand and tugged, trying to drag him out of bed, but the curly haired one stayed under the covers, very aware that he was only wearing underwear. No matter how much he loved Jens' mom and sister, he didn't feel comfortable enough to be walking around like that in front of Jens' family.

''Why don't you go and make sure Mom doesn't burn the pancakes? We'll join you in a minute.''

.

Sunday, March 1st

Spending the weekend at Jens' made room for a lot of awkward situations.

Yesterday, Lucas almost stumbled into Jens' dad when exiting the bathroom after his shower. Is there any better way to be introduced to someone? Lucas wanted to be swallowed by the ground. Then, he got caught mid-changing by Lotte. Thankfully, his pants were still on.

Their making out session had been cut short this morning when Jens' mom walked in, catching them kissing in Jens' bed. Fenna didn't say anything, both boys being still fully clothed. She just deposited the pile of clean clothes and left, leaving the door wide open instead of just ajar. Message received.

Later in the afternoon, Jens decided to leave the house to get some fresh air - aka freedom.

While he was grateful that his parents agreed to have Lucas spending the weekend over - and sleeping in his bed -, he was tired of his family breathing down his neck or constantly being interrupted by his sister. They couldn't even sleep in or have some morning cuddles without Lotte coming in and jumping on the bed. Jens really needed to learn to lock the door.

It was cloudy and gray outside - a bit cold too -, but Jens wanted some time alone with Lucas. Can you blame him?

Spoon still in his mouth, Lucas hummed, eyes closed. ''This cake.''

''It's good, uh?''

The brunet nodded avidly, cutting another piece of his cake with his spoon. ''You, Belgians know how to make desserts.''

Jens shook his head, smiling. ''You and your sweet tooth...''

As if a cake wasn't sweet enough, Lucas had ordered the sweetest one on the menu: a chocolate mousse cake. Even though Luc had told Jens how much he loved chocolate, he didn't realize until now exactly how big of a sweet tooth he really had.

Jens watched the thick, yet smooth chocolate mousse disappear into the brunet's mouth. He cleared his throat and averted his eyes, reminding himself where they were. He tried to keep his mind from wandering to a dangerous place, but it wasn't easy. It seemed, sometimes, like Lucas made every minor actions somewhat suggestive, and he knew exactly the effect it would have on Jens.

''Want a taste?'' Lucas asked, raising an eyebrow.

Turning his attention back to him, Jens nodded. Why not? He wasn't a big fan of desserts, but the chocolate mousse seemed really tasty. He opened his mouth, ready to taste the sweet desert, but Lucas put the spoon in his own mouth, making Jens frown and pout.

''Hey! That was for me.''

Lucas shrugged. ''Sorry, but this cake is just too good to share.''

''Tease''

Smiling smugly, Lucas blew him a kiss over the table before returning to his plate.

Jens pulled up his phone, snapped a picture of Lucas - he was just too cute to not capture this moment - when a notification from the selling app popped up. ''Yes!''

Lucas glanced at his boyfriend, confused.

''Someone is interested in something I'm selling,'' Jens explained.

''What are you selling?''

''Oh, just games I don't play anymore.'' He shrugged. ''They were collecting dust.''

It wasn't a huge sale. Only some game at 7€, but, it was 7€ less to find to pay back the drugs Lucas had flushed.

Lucas frowned, taking a sip of his fancy coffee. ''Why are you selling your video games online? Can't you go to a game store for that? Jayden does it all the time.''

''Yeah, but they only offer discounts on other games. I need money.''

''What for?''

Jens sighed. He didn't want to involve Lucas any more in his problems, but he already knew about the drugs, so why not. ''Remember when you saved my ass and got rid of the drugs in my locker? Well, my dealer texted me and he wants his money. I have some cash from the weed I sold and other stuff, but what has been flushed needs to be paid too. I can't just tell him I almost got caught and had to get rid of them.''

''I can help. It's partly my fault that you have to repay him.''

Jens shook his head. ''No. It's my fault that I'm caught in this shit.''

''And, it's my fault that they're in the sewers somewhere in Antwerp.'' Lucas paused. ''We could always try to retrieve them...''

Jens wrinkled his nose in disgust. The pills had probably all dissolved by now anyway. ''Ew, gross.''

''So, are you taking my offer?'' Jens hesitated and Lucas smiled at him. ''You can pay me back if you want to. In cash or...other,'' he added, winking over the table.

''I'll think about it.''

.

Monday, March 2nd

''What the fuck, man? Why did you shoot me?''Jens asked through the headphone's mic as his character received a bullet to the chest.

''Sorry, I thought it was Aaron.''

Jens laughed, looking around on his TV screen to find Aaron and shoot him, laughing harder as he did so.

''Hey! Why is everyone trying to kill me?''

''Because it's fun,'' Moyo responded.

paused his video game when he saw Michiel's name on the screen. He bit his lip anxiously before opening the message.

Michiel: Where's my cash, kid? Ghosting me won't work. I need it by Thursday. Or else...

Jens stared at the screen for what felt like a lifetime. Michiel was now threatening him. Jens had to do something quick or he was going to be in real danger. Who knew what Michiel - or his men - were capable of? He couldn't tell Lucas why he had suddenly changed his mind and he felt bad for asking his boyfriend for money - Lucas wasn't his personal banker -, but he needed the money sooner rather than later.

Jens: Is your offer still standing? I don't think I'll sell enough shit by Thursday

Lucas: I told you I'd help, didn't I?

Lucas: When do you need it for?

Jens: Thursday

Lucas: Want me to come with?

Jens: No. I'll be fine

Lucas: Is that supposed to be reassuring?

Jens: I'll be fine, Luc

Lucas: Okay... but I want you to text me when you get there and when you leave just so I know you are safe

Jens: 👍

.

Wednesday, March 4th

The television was playing loudly when Fenna returned from work, some sort of anime on the big screen. She furrowed her eyebrows at the unfamiliar characters, her heart aching at the explicit content flashing across the screen. How can teenagers watch that?

''Sorry for finishing so late. There was a big car accident and I had to do extra time to help,'' she explained, removing her jacket and setting her bag down. ''Did Lotte eat already?''

''No, I let her starve,'' the teenager answered from the couch.

Fenna gave her son a look. ''Jens...''

He flashed his mother a smile. ''I'm joking. I reheated last night's leftovers.''

''Good. Where's is she?''

''Upstairs playing in her room. Want me to tell her to come down?''

Before he could call Lotte down, Fenna shook her head. ''No. That's good, actually. I wanted to talk to you.''

Jens frowned, trying to read his mother's face but failing. She came around to sit on the couch and he turned down the volume of the television.

''You...you were right. About your father. He lied to my face about this job, he lied to all of us.'' Fenna closed her eyes, her husband's lie still fresh.

She had gone to see Mohamed on her lunch break between shifts since the hospital wasn't far from his new office - and he wasn't answering his phone. When Fenna got there, she asked to see him and was told that he didn't work there and never had.

''After a lot of difficult thinking, I made a decision and I wanted you to be the first to know about it. Your father and I will be separating.''

''As in a divorce?''

Fenna nodded slowly. She didn't want to get a divorce - nobody does. Divorce felt like a failure to a lot of people. But, it was the right choice to make. ''I still love your father, but sometimes love isn't enough. Money might not buy happiness, but without money, we can't live in this house.''

''We?'' Jens repeated. ''That means we're going to...move?''

Exhaling a breath, Fenna nodded sadly. ''I didn't want to. I did everything in my power to stay here, but I can't afford this house on my own.''

Jens swallowed thickly, a wave of sadness flowing in. He wasn't one to get attached to things, but loved this house. He spent his whole life here. Every corner and walls held a memory. The staircase where he broke his arm when he fell with his bike when he was five, the dining room table where him and his mom used to sit and work on his spelling homework, his bedroom where he had his first makeout session and the place he lost his virginity.

''What about Dad?''

He didn't want to be insensitive, but where will his father go? Clearly, he won't be following them after the divorce.

''His brother lives in Liège, he'll be staying with him for a moment. Or, so he said.''

Jens nodded. Maybe a change of scenery will be good for him. Maybe it'll help him get back on track.

.

Thursday, March 5th

His hands were clammy as he crossed the street, seeing Michiel's building in his line of sight. After his parents' divorce announcement, Jens wasn't in the mood to meet with Michiel, but he didn't really have the choice. Michiel had been clear: he wanted his money. He didn't care whatever was happening in Jens' personal life.

All the money was in his left pocket, feeling heavy, and a worried Lucas was in the other, sending him texts every ten seconds.

Jens stood on the doorstep and rang the doorbell, stress growing in his stomach. He bit his lip as he waited, going still when the door opened and the same big guy who was there the first time stood there.

''Long time no see,'' he pointed out.

''Is Michiel here? I have his money.''

The man nodded and let Jens in, the door shutting loudly behind.

.

''So, it's over? No more drug dealing shit?''

Jens hummed. ''It's over.'' He kissed Lucas in the middle. ''No more drug dealing shit.''

Lucas rolled his eyes at the small mockery. ''Good.'' He sighed, relieved.

After leaving Michiel's, Jens came over to Lucas' to reassure him and take advantage of Mr. Van Der Heijden being at work. They hadn't had a lot of alone time during the weekend despite Lucas sleeping over, so it was nice to be just the two of them again.

Lucas led them to the couch and cuddled against Jens, being the cuddle-bear he will never admit to be. Some things were just for Jens and him to know.

''I could fall asleep right here and now,'' Lucas pointed, closing his eyes as Jens played with his curls, twirling the soft ringlets between his fingers.

''Am I that much of a bore? Because I can go home if-''

Clutching a fistful of Jens' hoodie, Lucas made a protest noise. ''Don't you dare.''

Jens laughed and kissed his forehead, feeling Lucas pulling him in closer. He was keenly aware of Lucas' wants and needs and cuddling was Lucas' unspoken signal of reassurance that he would always be there for him.

''So, now that you've met my family, when am I going to meet yours?'' Jens asked, mildly teasing, breaking the comfortable silence first.

Lucas grew quiet, staring down at the carpet in front of the couch, the shades of browns and greys suddenly very interesting.

''Do you...not want me to meet your parents or something?'' Jens asked, silently hoping it wasn't that.

The brunet sat up, removing himself from Jens' hold. ''No, no. That not- It's just, I've never introduced someone to my parents...like that.''

''You mean a guy?''

''No girls either, if it reassures you,'' Lucas added with a bit of humor.

''You've told your mom about me, though?''

''Yes, but it's complicated. With my mom, we can't just schedule a date and have dinner all together. She might get anxious or she can- So many things can go wrong.''

''Or it could go well.''

Lucas sighed, moving away from his boyfriend's touch. ''Jens...''

''And, your dad?''

‘’My dad’s a dick. I only moved with him because the judge said I had to. It was that or going to a foster family. My dad might be a dick, but he’s not the worst. There’s kids out there that need fostering more than me, some who are stuck in abusive families or even orphans. I would’ve felt bad for taking someone’s place. Entering the foster system would’ve also meant not seeing my mom anymore and I can’t renounce to that.’’ Lucas paused, swallowing his emotions. ‘’She needs me. I’m all she has left. I can’t do that to her.’’

By the way his voice was strained, Jens could tell that it was still a difficult subject. Lucas was close to his mother. Hearing his story made Jens wonder how bad her mental illness was. If a judge had declared her inapte to take care of him, it must be serious. It was also so sad to hear that her husband had completely pushed her out of his life just because of her mental illness. She was lucky to have a son like Lucas.

As much as he wanted to meet Lucas’ parents, it wasn’t worth putting Lucas - nor his parents - in this state. Causing trouble in his boyfriend’s family wasn’t what Jens wanted.

He shook his head. ‘’Forget what I said, okay? I’ll meet them when you’re ready. No pressure.’’ He flashed Lucas a small smile which got reciprocated.

Lucas nodded, grateful to have someone as understanding as Jens. ‘’I love you.’’

‘’I love you,’’ Jens repeated, pulling the smaller one back into his hold.

.

Friday, March 6th

‘’Is Lucas coming?’’ Aaron asked, leaning against the kitchen counter.

Jens nodded, taking a sip of his beer. ‘’He said he’s on his way.’’

An eager smile spread on Aaron’s lips. ‘’So, I’m gonna meet him?’’ he added, unable to contain his excitement.

‘’You’ve met Lucas before...’’

‘’Yeah, but not as your boyfriend. This is a big deal-’’

‘’Aaron…’’

He shrugged. ‘’What? I didn't say it the other day, but I’m happy for you. I liked Jana, but Lucas is much cooler. At least he skates with us instead of sitting and watching.’’

Jens raised an eyebrow. ‘’Cooler than Sander?’’

‘’Don’t push.’’

After Robbe, Aaron was Sander’s biggest fan. He was never shy to voice how much admiration he had for him whether it was his flirting tactics, his confidence, romantic gestures or how good looking he was. It even became a running joke in the gang that if Sander wasn't already taken by Robbe, the curly haired one would tempt his chance.

‘’Your boy is here,’’ Aaron pointed out, nudging Jens as he saw Lucas walking in.

Jens looked up, watching as Lucas squeezed a path between the dancing girls in the living room and some shotgun drinkers. He grimaced at the mess it was making on the floor and scanned the room, trying to find his boyfriend, fastening his pace when he spotted him and Aaron in the kitchen.

Jens greeted him with a kiss, getting some cooing from Aaron. Could he be more annoying? Lucas leaned into Jens as the latter hooked an arm over his shoulder, pulling him close.

‘’So, you’re Jens’ boyfriend?’’

Jens rolled his eyes and groaned. ‘’Let’s go look for Moyo and Robbe.’’

.

They all sat in the bathroom, passing around weed and booze, like the old days. Moyo had brought some weed and smoke was rapidly filling the bathroom as they all blew their thick, grey puffs into the air.

It was the first time they all hung out together - Lucas and Sander included. Jens and Lucas squeezed in next to Robbe and Sander in the tub, laughing as Aaron vented about his latest romantic gesture that turned into an epic fail. Honestly, when does it not?

''I had the room all set up and everything,’’ he explained. ‘’Candles, flower petals, her favorite scented bath stuff, but then her mom came home and ruined my surprise before we could even get in the water. I tried telling Amber that we can still go in, but she said it was too weird if her mom was in the house.’’

Amber’s bathtub. Lucas shared glances with Jens, memories of their first kiss flowing in.

Sander sighed. ‘’Robbe’s the same, he won’t-’’

Knowing where this was going, Robbe didn’t let Sander finish his sentence, covering his mouth with his hand before he could say any more, refusing to let this turn into another let’s tell Aaron about our sex-life episode.

‘’Why did you stop? It was getting interesting,’’ Aaron complained.

‘’Quit encouraging Sander into telling you stuff. It’s private.’’

‘’And weird,’’ Jens added, backing his best friend.

‘’You’re the one who used to brag about sex-’’

Jens rolled his eyes. ‘’I don't brag…’’

He did tell everyone about losing his virginity and the sex he had with Jana - what else does fifteen years old do? And, he ranted about that toothpaste tip...a lot, but he wasn’t on Aaron’s level of bragging.

‘’Well, if you really want to know, there’s this amazing thing Jens does with his-’’ Lucas stopped himself, a smug grin on his lips. ‘’Did you really think I was going to tell you?’’

‘’I like him,’’ Moyo commented, giving Lucas a high five.

The gesture didn’t go unnoticed by Jens. It was nice to see that Lucas was integrating well into their group.

“So, since we have two new guys in the group, maybe we should get to know you both better?” Aaron suggested, waiting for his turn to take a puff.

“Dude, why do you always have to be in everyone's business?” Moyo asked.

''Don’t you know Sander enough already? You've pestered him with questions ever since Robbe said they were dating,’’ Jens said, making Robbe laugh.

Lucas felt his phone buzz and reached into his pocket to see who it was. Noting the number, he silenced the call and put his phone back in his pocket, returning his attention to the boys.

Aaron shrugged. “I’m just trying to get to know my best friends' boyfriends. If they are important to them, I want to get to know them better and let them know we care enough to get to know them.”

Sander snorted. “How profound and thoughtful of you, Aaron. I feel much more appreciated.”

Robbe laughed as Jens grabbed the joint from Moyo and took a hit. He had hesitated at first, remembering recent events, but figured that weed was a better coping method than Xanax. And, he wasn’t going to let himself get so high. Just a couple puffs to have a nice buzz.

He was about to hand it to Lucas when his phone went off - again. Sighing, Lucas pulled it out of his jacket and frowned.

‘’Gotta take this. It’s the third time he’s called, it must be important. I’ll be right back.’’

Jens nodded and watched as Lucas rose to his feet, leaving Jens’ side and headed outside to answer the phone call in a more quiet place.

The second the door closed, Sander whistled. ‘’I didn’t believe Robbe when he told me you two got together. Does he still steal your fries?’’

Rolling his eyes, Jens shook his head.

Minutes later, the door opened and Lucas’ face was worried and distraught, his previous lightness and drunken happiness completely gone.

Jens furrowed his eyebrows. ‘’Luc?’’ He sat up, recognizing a frantic and panicked behavior.

‘’I-I gotta go,’’ he simply said, ignoring Jens’ question and grabbing his jacket on the edge of the tub before leaving again, not saying ‘bye’ to anyone.

The boys watched confusedly and gave Jens a look, but the latter wasn’t paying attention to them, his eyes focused solely on Lucas. Jens stood, handing the joint back to Robbe, and went after his boyfriend, wondering what he had been told on the phone that made him want to leave the party so fast.

He didn't catch up to him until they were outside, the amount of people inside the house made it difficult to get a hold of Lucas. The evening wind hit his face the second he stepped out, sending a shiver down Jens’ back. He grabbed Lucas’ arm when he was close enough to reach and made him stop.

‘’Slow down, Luc. Why are you leaving?'' he asked, releasing his arm.

Lucas turned around, eyes filled with tears but he fought them. ''My dad. He said-'' He interrupted himself, shaking his head, voice trembling and faulty as he spoke.

Jens frowned, going immediately into comforting mode. Something was up, but the Dutch boy was talking so fast and the panic in his voice made it more difficult for Jens to understand what he was saying.

He lifted Lucas' chin, catching sight of his glassy blue eyes. ''Hey...tell me what’s going on. I can’t help you or understand if you don’t tell me.’’

‘’My mom. It’s- She’s going to be admitted to a clinic, I… I have to go.’’

[universe-n-3276]

Carrying the moon

Chapter 5

"Hero! No! Holy ... "

Jens wanted to run as far as he could from that situation. He loved that child more than anything and he truly considered himself his uncle. Sander trusted him and, that morning, it was his turn with Hero. Everyone always offered to help Sander when he had a class. They had a nice system and everyone could bond with the baby by spending some time alone with him. Jens was used to taking care of small children. When his youngest sister was born, he had always helped his mother, and, unlike his boyfriend, he liked babies very much and had no problem in admitting it.

At that particular moment, he was trying to feed Hero, but the kid was having a lot more fun throwing the food everywhere instead of eating it. Jens didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He was feeling dirty, the table was a mess, as his and Hero’s clothes.

When he heard the buzzer, Jens almost wanted to cry with happiness. Lucas, who probably had forgotten his keys, was about to save him, as often happened in the most various situations. He picked Hero up and buzzed his boyfriend in, leaving the door half-open, so he wouldn't have to come back again, and went to the bathroom to try and fix the mess on his own and Hero's clothes.

As he fumbled with a wet cloth, the boy heard the door shut heavily with a thud.

"I'm in the bathroom and I need help, hurry!”

He yelled at Lucas, trying to entertain Hero, who was staring at him with his huge green eyes. After a few seconds a head peeked out through the doorframe, but it wasn't who Jens expected to see.

"I thought you were Luc-"

"Shit, I didn’t know he was here, sorry."

They spoke at the same time. Robbe's eyes went wide, observing the baby in Jens's arms. He had a petrified expression on his face, and Jens wasn't sure if the other was about to faint or throw up. Maybe both.

"You can go if you want, but I really could use your help."

Robbe was hesitant, but then he decided to do what his best friends wanted. As soon as Hero saw him, he gave him a huge smile, showing the four teeth he had in his mouth. The boy froze, immediately turning his face to Jens. Maybe asking for help hadn't been his best idea. However, he couldn’t explain to himself, how anyone, especially Robbe, would remain impassive to that mini-Sander, who was smiling at him. Jens realized that there were probably many things, his best friend and he hadn’t spoken about.

"What do you want me to do?"

"You can hold him while-"

"No."

Jens blinked at Robbe's blunt answer. He didn’t want to get mad, but the other was trying to make his life more complicated. He couldn't actually be that angry with a child.

"In my room, there is a green bag with all of his stuff. Can you take one of his clean shirts and bring it to me, please? "

He tried to be as diplomatic as possible, because first of all, he needed two more hands, and secondly, he wanted Robbe to stay and talk to him about that situation at all costs. The other nodded, disappearing shortly behind the door.

Thanks to Robbe's presence, Jens was able to fix the mess that Hero had made and to prepare a bottle of formula for the baby to drink. He knew he should try to feed him the soup, but he didn’t want to start cleaning everything all over again.

They were sitting on the sofa, Hero was drinking from the bottle, with his eyes fixed on Robbe, as if he was following his father's instructions.

"He looks just like Sander."

Robbe said, filling the silence. His gaze had softened, and his movements were visibly more relaxed.

"Is this the first time you see him after what happened?”

“You know very well that I didn’t even want to know his name until today, and the fact that Sander called him almost like a Bowie song doesn't surprise me at all. It’s actually weird that he didn't call him David or Ziggy. "

Robbe brushed lightly his fingers on Hero’s cheek, and the baby gripped one of his fingers with his little chubby hand, without taking his green eyes off of him. Every little gesture from Hero brought Robbe a little closer to Sander.

"You never told me why you didn't want to raise him together with Sander."

It was the first question he asked about that topic. Jens was naturally curious and wanted to know why his best friend ended a relationship that had lasted for years and never had a setback. It couldn't have happened just because of Hero. Becoming a father was a big responsibility but the Robbe he had known for years had never stepped back in front of a challenge, especially if someone he loved was involved.

"Thinking about that morning is a bit surreal, especially now that he is here and is the exact copy of the person I loved most. Have you ever seen a photo of Sander at his age?”

Jens shook his head and Robbe smiled, brushing Hero's hair with an absent look and a small smile on his lips.

“You wouldn't be able to tell them apart. There is nothing of Max in him, and if I didn’t know his story, I would tell you that there is also nothing of Charlotte in him. It feels like he came straight out of one of my daydreams about the future. I always wanted to raise a mini Sander."

"So?"

Jens was confused by the turn that conversation had taken, and he couldn't wait patiently for his best friend to get to the whole point of that story, exactly like a child who listens to a tale and wants to get to the best part right away.

“And then that morning everything went wrong. How Sander asked it to me, as if it were something that concerned him alone, did nothing but increase my doubts. He could have asked me in a thousand other ways and right now things would be completely different. But no, he said, “I decided this and I will never change my mind”. I felt overwhelmed and left out. I couldn't be with Sander who was raising a child on his own, and who didn't think I was fit enough to make parenting decisions."

“I think you just didn't understand each other. And the fact that you guys stopped talking instead of trying to make some clarity, certainly didn’t make things better. If I have learned something from my relationship with Lucas, it is that to make things work, you have to talk, explain your reasons, without waiting for the other to guess what’s on your mind, because no one can read thoughts, no matter how well they know you. "

Robbe shrugged and nodded. Jens wasn't into deep talks, but being with Lucas had helped him to grow up and not be afraid to express his feelings with words. Sometimes it was necessary to put aside all the jokes and laughter and talk about things that mattered.

“When Sander and I broke up, we forgot everything we had learned about each other during our time together, probably because we were so hurt that we focused on how to manage the pain, instead of thinking that none of us wanted to end our relationship. Now it's too late."

"Why?"

Jens frowned. After that speech, he was ready to lock Sander and Robbe in a room until they put their shit together.

“I have a date tonight. A colleague of mine introduced me to his brother. He seems nice."

Jens’ world suddenly collapsed as if they were talking about his relationship. Hero, Robbe, and Sander were a family, they always were and they were destined to be. Forever. What had been happening for seven months was all extremely wrong and only getting worse.

Maybe luck was no longer on their side.

[previous] / [next]

[chappedandfadedvds]

Dec 27th, Sunday 03:01

„Christ! You scared me.“ 

The voice startled Jens. His head flung around, away from the window he had stared out at the dark forest across the snowed in driveway. His eyes closing in on a shadow coming closer. For a moment he was confused if maybe Lucas would have found the side of their bed next to him empty. But it hadn’t been his voice calling out quietly from across the room. Instead he found Sander walking up to him, his eyes squinting at the boy sitting on the floor. He must be confused to see Jens here. It definitely wasn’t time for anyone to be up.

„I thought I’d seen a ghost.“ 

Sander’s light joke fell flat, ending up in him loosing the small smirk grazing his face, as Jens simply kept looking back up at him indifferent. He’d rather be alone. Otherwise he could have stayed in his room in the first place.

„What are you doing here?“

Unfortunately the older boy wasn’t going to go anytime soon, it looked like, as he went to sit down across of Jens, both leaning with their respectively shoulder at the opposite side of the wooden frame of the french window in the living room. There fell silence into the small space between them, as they watched each other. Sander looked tired.

„It’s okay. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. But I’m here, I can’t sleep either, I just thought to get some water and do some thinking. Didn’t know I’d have company.“

Jens hadn’t either. His eyes drifted off to look back out again. There were these mesmerising, thick snow flakes falling slowly from above, dancing across the night. How late was it anyway for Sander to be up? 

It reminded him of all these weeks ago, when Jens had not been able to close his eyes and had the older boy texting him at four in the morning, or however late it had been then. When he hadn’t told Sander about what kept him awake. And he probably wouldn’t tell him now either, if this time it wasn’t for completely other reasons. There had been the odd little conversation between Lucas and Jens before they went to bed about the moment when Lucas had looked at him funny back at the cliff. It had woken him from his sleep and he just couldn’t stand himself to be next to the peacefully sleeping boy. So he had left.

„It’s just too much sometimes. And Luc, I...“ He was really going to talk about this, huh? Though he felt like Sander would probably get him the most of all the people that currently found rest under this roof. „I don’t want to be a burden to him,“

Sander snorted at his words, but sighed when a minute passed without Jens giving any hint of reaction on his side.

„Tell me about it. I’m as broken as one gets.“ The other boy said, with such sorrow, that Jens’s eyes shifted to see the weary expression on his face. There was the lightest hint of a smile on his lips, but it didn’t reached his eyes. It looked so very wrong to Jens in that moment. He didn’t wanted to see Sander like this. 

„That’s not true. You are one of the strongest and coolest people I know. And people love you. Robbe certainly does.“

It did made Sander cheer up a little, pull him out of his blue, as he turned his head to fix his eyes on Jens with a sense of resolve behind them, that only affirmed the younger boy’s statement.

„They love you, too. Lucas definitely does as well, perhaps even more.“

„I know.“ Jens swallowed down the growing lump in his throat. He knew that all too well. He wish he didn’t. „That’s sometimes precicely the problem, I think.“

Sander regarded him in the half shadow of the only lamp outside illuminating the porch. It didn’t spend a lot of light, leaving much of their dimmed expression hidden in a dark greyish shade. But Jens knew that their was worry in the older boy’s eyes.

„Look I’m not the best at giving advice or solving problems, god knows I suck at that. But I’m going to listen if you want to share something.“

It was a very kind notion of the older boy to offer an open ear. But he wouldn’t know where to begin to explain. It was overwhelming enough to open up that door in his mind, yet alone to speak up on it. Jens bit on his lip, his right hand balled into a tight fist, that let his nails dig into his palms to calm his frustration at himself. Sander’s gaze darted briefly down towards it, before they were back up in his face.

„Do you often not sleep?“

A simple question. Simple enough for him to believe to be able to give Sander an answer.

„There is rarely a night going by without me staring at the ceiling at some point. Usually I just wake up early.“

„That sucks.“

„It really does.“

There was another brief pause, as they both dwelled on their own thoughts for a while. He got sleep. Enough to make it through the day. He just never felt well rested. The last week though had been nice. He almost had forgotten how dismal the night could feel like. If only Lucas hadn’t looked like that today. If only Jens wouldn’t have to think about worrying his boyfriend. He hadn’t even thought about it til now that Sander had joined. He had been perfectly still as he watched the snow outside.

„What is it for you?“ Sander asked breaking the silence once more. Jens didn’t quite understood where he was trying to get with it. He watched him puzzled, wrecking his brain for an answer he couldn’t find.

„What do you mean?“ Jens replied instead.

„Like. I for one have these nights when I can’t stop thinking. Where my mind runs marathons at lightning speed, while the world is crushing me. And then there are nights when I want to hide inside the little time I have left at night before the morning comes and I have to face another day. At the worst nights I don’t want to be alive to see the next minute. And I hate to feel like that, but I have to trust Robbe. He told me I wasn’t a burden to him, when I wake him if it get’s too bad, you know. And sometimes he is a little fed up with it, especially if he hasn’t gotten much rest either. But he never leaves. He always stays. So it gets better.“

Lucas did that too, didn’t he?

„How do you trust him to tell the truth?“ Jens dared to whisper. His heart was beating so loud, maybe Sander hadn’t heard him. Perhaps he had only asked himself. But Sander tilted his head lightly, resting his temple on the wooden frame.

„I just have to. I can’t allow myself to think otherwise. And he proves it to me every day. Even on the ones we argue.“

Jens couldn’t quite imagine them arguing. Not since they had got together a year ago. They always seemed to be on the same page, working closely together to face life. His best friend expression lit up everytime his eyes found Sander. Whatever they did they did together. Sander always gave into Robbe’s demands. At rare occasions even the other way around. They were the most amicable couple he knew. He shook himself out of his thoughts. He was drifting off again.

„Sleepless nights are the opposite for me. I don’t think much.“

Sander’s lips curled up, surpressing the laugh in an amused grin.

„Tell me something new.“ He said, letting Jens retrace his words.

„No, wait! Not like that, asshole.“ Jens replied, himself smirking briefly, before their conversation caught back up with them. 

„I mean, I just stare.“ This was hard to admit. Lucas knew, but he only knew because he spent almost every night at his side. Jens didn’t had to explain it to his boyfriend. To Sander on the otherhand, he had to. „I don’t feel much in these moments. These are the rare hours I just get to exist, you know? I’m not sure how to put it into words. It doesn’t make sense, I think. I’m pretty much empty then.“ He exhales deeply, unsure how to proceed from here. Jens tried to just let his mind talk as the thoughts came to him. „And I don’t even have to wake Lucas. He somehow knows, has some radar or some shit. Most of the times at least, he gets me out of it rather quick. And I hate that so much.“

He was an asshole to feel that way. Especially when his boyfriend only tried to support him. Jens should be grateful for it, when he feared he found resentment just hidden right behind.

„But isn’t that a good thing? That he is there and mostly that he wants to be there for you?“

Sander didn’t saw it.

„It is. I just wish he wouldn’t have to do it, you know. We are not even together that long.“

He should stop using that excuse. It got old. It didn’t help.

„Mhm, you are a couple for longer than Robbe and me had been when he found me hiding at the academy. You already have a couple of weeks on your backs.“

Jens knew that. Hence why he tried to desperately ignore how fast time was passing, weakening his poor excuse. Jens felt like he put all the weight on Lucas shoulders almost since the very beginning of their relationship, and it was only growing in size from the moment he had told him about his mom. And it was different from Robbe and Sander, wasn’t it? It involved doing all this grown-up shit. There was of course the flatshare, but most responsibility fell on Milan. Stuff, like banks, lawyers and insurances to deal with, that his friends only needed to worry about earliest next fall after graduation, if not much later. Not even taking Lotte into consideration here for a moment. 

He felt immediately bad for his thoughts. It was his illness that Sander was fighting with constantly. Something he didn’t get to stop with til his last day. That couldn’t and shouldn’t be compared. Fuck.

„So do you at least know why you feel like that?“ 

Right they were still talking. Jens almost had forgotten about the older boy watching him, as Jens felt terrible for the direction his thoughts have taken him.

„I sorta do, yes.“ Jens admitted. He truly did. It started with his mom’s diagnoses in march and ended with his future raising his sister. Of course he knew the reason that kept him awake and made Lucas worry. And in turn made Jens wish he could just stop himself.

„Well that’s a good start, right?“

„I don’t know.“ He really didn’t know how that would be a good start. The solution lay in being able to move forward from this. To find the strength to not cling onto every minute that passed. Time was literally running through his fingers. And he was afraid he was too weak to do that.

„It is, it means you can figure out how to fight it.“ Sander said, smiling at him in encouragement, but it only made Jens’s eyes burn. The fight was already long over.

„I don’t know, Sander.“ 

And then there came the tears. These damn tears, that probably would have appeared anyways. No matter if Sander had been here or not. But it helped to feel the hand of the older boy resting on his shoulder for a second before he got pulled towards the body across. He probably should head back to his room soon. Lucas may already be awake and worried, waiting for Jens to show up again. God, how much he hated that this was the most likely scenario.  Yet for a moment he’d just lean into Sander’s embrace, as he tried to calm down enough to get up, when Sander spoke for one last time this night.

„I think you do.”

__ __ __ tagged: @odi-et-amo85, @tayspots

[footballerimaginess]

Work Work Work

LOCKDOWN SERIES  10. Working from home Paulo Dybala  Word Count: 553  Taglist: @footballffbarbiex​ @lawsandother​ @evie-pr​ @thegameisaboutglory​ @luc-57x​ @footballxixstars​

You were stuck working at home, you were really bored. But you knew you needed to stay home and do as much work.  You turned your laptop on and sorted out your work station. Now having all your papers and folders surrounding you. Just like it would be if you were at work. “Before you start working, am I allowed in the kitchen?” Paulo politely asked you. “Yeah that is fine babe” you smiled.  He laughed as he quickly rushed in, so he wasn’t bothering you at all. “You know, you don’t have to be so quick. It isn’t like I am doing a conference call. You are allowed in here now Paulo. It is fine” you laughed as he stood there calmly.  “Okay well, if you get very bored. You can come and tell me because I want to sit and join you. Have fun doing, whatever it is you do” Paulo laughed. “We have been going out for 4 years, lived in this flat with me. I have gone to work every weekday and you still have no idea where I am going. You are the worst Paulo Dybala” you shook your head in disgust.  “Sorry babe, I mean I do know you leave and go to work. Where in Turin you work, I don’t know. Yes I am an awful boyfriend, I am sorry” he smirked as he cuddled you.  “You aren’t, but if you piss me off today. You are an awful boyfriend, oh okay babe” you rolled your eyes. You huffed as he kissed your head and left the room.  You were now getting on with your work, after you had made your cup of tea. After some what felt like you had been working forever, Paulo come and wandered in. “Yes?” you questioned him as he stood in front of your table.  “Hi babe” He waved. “Yes babe, what is wrong? Are you alright?” you questioned him. “I am fine, I miss you. I have done my work out and I am bored now. Pay me some attention” you smirked.  “Maybe I can sit with you” He asked you. “As long as you are a good boy and sit still. I don’t want any of the mess okay, please just be good for once” you sternly told him. “I am not a dog” He smirked as he sat down on the chair beside you.  “So what is it you do again?” he messed his hair up. “I work in admin, like sorting a lot of stuff out. It is pretty boring if I am honest, but I do have lots I need to be getting on with. You are quite an annoying distraction, but a good looking one if I am honest” you smirked as you stroked his cheek.  “I am pretty aren’t I. I will just watch you while you work.” Paulo laughed as he picked up his phone while he watched you work.  “You are pretty when you work, you are way more organised than me right now. Maybe once we are done, I can make you dinner.” He offered. “Yeah okay. That sounds like a great idea, I really like that idea. But now can we just have silence for longer than two seconds” you laughed as you needed to type up some work. 

[mikauzoran]

Lukadrien Drabble: Nachtmusik Chapter Twenty-Three

A Little Night Music (Eine Kleine Nachtmusik) Chapter Twenty-Three: Sour Cream

“I appreciate you so much,” Adrien moaned through a mouthful of sour cream.

Luka tried not to watch as Adrien’s tongue wrapped around the spoon, a blissful look on Adrien’s face. Luka took a deep breath and pressed a palm over his mouth to suppress an agonized moan of his own. He felt lightheaded; all the blood in his body was rushing south.

“He’s straight. He’s straight. He’s f-ing straight, and he trusts you, Luka Couffaine, so keep your mind out of your pants and your FRIEND out of your fantasies…. God that tongue…uh.”

“Thank you for keeping your fridge stocked for us,” Adrien continued, smiling obliviously at Luka from where Adrien lounged on Luka’s bed. “You have got to let me pay you back for the cheese. I know Plagg eats a lot.”

“Do not,” Plagg snorted from where he was curled up on the pillow Adrien had claimed as “his”.

Adrien laughed sarcastically. “Do too.”

“I don’t eat as much as you do,” Plagg retorted sullenly, in a foul mood because Luka had been out of Brie.

Adrien turned back to Luka and opened his mouth to elicit agreement when it dawned upon him that Luka was staring. “…Did I get some on my face?”

Thankfully, Adrien did, in fact, have sour cream at the corner of his mouth, so Luka was able to nod and point to the corresponding spot on his own cheek.

Unfortunately, Adrien used his tongue to clean up the wayward dollop of cream, sending Luka’s hormones into a flurry all over again.

Luka made a disgruntled noise.

Adrien raised an eyebrow, completely unaware of the power his tongue had over the other teen. “What was that?”

“Nothing,” Luka protested a little too quickly.

Adrien chuckled and shook his head, dismissing the episode. “Want some?” He scooped up a bite and held out the spoon to Luka.

Luka, in spite of himself, gravitated over to the bed, taking a seat next to Adrien.

“Say ‘aahh’,” Adrien coached.

Luka closed his eyes and opened his mouth, letting Adrien feed him, letting himself have this moment of indulgence.

He winced as the sour cream actually hit his tongue.

Adrien cackled in delight at the disgusted look on Luka’s face.

Luka tried not to choke as he forced himself to swallow. “That…” He coughed. “…is nasty. How can you eat that straight? Don’t you have a gag reflex?”

Adrien shrugged, happily spooning another bite of sour cream into his own mouth. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. This is delicious. I love the creamy texture. It’s just a little bit more tart than Greek yogurt, and I kind of like that. Greek yogurt is too sweet sometimes. Well…the plain Greek yogurt is good.”

Luka sighed, reaching out to tussle Adrien’s hair lovingly. “This is because no one feeds you sugar. If you had ice cream more than once a month, you would not be able to eat that sour stuff.”

Adrien shrugged again. “Why don’t you just get out the cookie dough, Orpheus?”

 Juleka came into the main cabin to find Luka slumped on the couch.

His hair was in disarray, and he was clothed in pajamas he’d probably been wearing for a day or two now. He stared blankly into space as he ate spoonful after spoonful of sour cream straight out of the container.

“You’re up,” she observed. “…Have you been drinking again?”

He blinked a few times before his eyes registered her presence and focused on her. “The liquor cabinet is locked, and I gave the key to you to hide, so I don’t see how I could be drinking.”

Juleka shrugged, coming around to sit on the couch next to him. “Just checking.”

She didn’t dare bring up the fact that he could buy alcohol elsewhere (…if he ever went out). She didn’t want to put the idea into his head.

“That stuff is disgusting,” she remarked, indicating the half-empty sour cream container.

Luka nodded and took another bite, wincing as he did so.

“You’re going to make yourself sick.” Juleka reached for the container, trying to take it away.

He pulled back defensively.

She put her hands up in surrender. “Hey, okay. Suit yourself,” she snorted. “…Why are you eating that stuff?”

He shook his head.

She wanted to ask if it were an Adrien thing, but she didn’t want to poke that particular tiger in case it snapped her hand off and turned her brother back into a self-destructive, raging alcoholic again. Juleka never knew which buttons were okay to press anymore.

“Are you okay?” she asked instead.

Luka shook his head. “…Today is Adrien’s birthday. He’s seventeen….”

Juleka nodded. She wanted to groan and shake him and tell him that it had been eight freaking months, but…

He turned his head and looked at her urgently. “How is he? Is he okay? Do you see him very often? I was thinking maybe I could give him a gift…maybe a recording on a CD or some new tracks on a flash drive or something. Something small that you or Rose could sneak him, but…”

Juleka shook her head sadly. “We’re in different classes this year. I don’t see him much, and, when I do, it’s from a distance. I get the impression he’s avoiding us.”

Luka nodded slowly, the animation draining from his face. He took another bite of the sour cream and winced.

She placed her hand over his, stilling it. “Luc, please stop. You’re going to make yourself sick.”

With a sigh, he set down the container and the spoon.

She picked them up, taking them over to the sink where she rinsed out the rest of the sour cream, washed the spoon, and tossed the container in the recycle bin.

Luka went back to staring absently at the far wall.

Juleka sighed, going back over to sit by her brother. “Hey.”

She tapped her knee against his.

“Why don’t you play your violin?” she suggested, indicating the instrument on the seat of the couch beside Luka.

He shrugged, picked up the violin and bow, and brought them into position like an automaton. He started to play Saint-Saëns’s Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso, imagining Adrien playing the missing piano part.

To Juleka, the plaintive wails of the violin sounded like a swan crying in vain for its lost mate.

Tears welled up in her eyes for her brother and the palpable weight of his suffering.

Silently, she hoped Adrien was having the day from hell for what he had done to Luka.

 “Fiiiifth, come back to beeeed,” Luka groaned.

“Fiiiiirst,” Adrien echoed. “I am starving. Do you know how many calories we just burned? I feel faint.”

Luka rolled his eyes. “Are you really hungry, or do you just want to eat sour cream? Because if you’re actually hungry, I’ll make you dinner…despite the fact that it’s nearly midnight.”

Adrien shrugged, fishing a spoon out of Luka’s desk drawer.

Luka eyed his lover hungrily as Adrien bent over.

“I kind of just want to eat sour cream,” Adrien confessed. “Making food would involve showering and putting clothes on because I don’t think the Capitaine and your sisters would appreciate us using the kitchen naked.”

Luka covered his face with both his hands and moaned.

“What?” Adrien snickered.

“I’m imagining you prancing around the kitchen of our future apartment wearing only an apron,” Luka confessed.

Adrien hummed appreciatively. “I want a house. No upstairs or downstairs neighbors to complain that we’re too loud…and I don’t just mean your instruments.”

“God,” Luka hissed. “Please come back to bed. You’re killing me.”

“Yeah?” Adrien chuckled sadistically, taking his time sauntering over to sit on the bed beside Luka.

“Yeah,” Luka breathed, rolling over onto his side to press airy kisses along Adrien’s hip and leg.

Adrien took a bite of sour cream, smirking around the spoon. “Goodness. Look at what a mess you are.”

“Adrien,” Luka whimpered, reaching out to trail fingers slowly down along the inside of Adrien’s thigh.

A soft purr began to rumble in Adrien’s chest.

“No,” he chuckled, reveling in Luka’s ardent want. It was good to be wanted, needed. “I’m eating. You’ll have to wait.”

“Nooooo,” Luka whined, hand slipping between Adrien’s legs. “Now.”

Adrien gasped, beginning to change his mind about the sour cream. “Well…” he replied levelly for appearance’s sake. “I guess I could draw all over your body with sour cream and then lick it off, if you really can’t wait.”

Luka paused, looking up curiously. “…Serious offer?”

Adrien thought about it. “Uh…well…I mean…other people lick whipped cream off of one another, don’t they? I don’t see why we couldn’t use sour cream. It’s probably going to get your sheets dirty, though.”

“Dirtier,” Luka corrected with an ironic laugh.

Adrien looked down at the spots already starting to dry on the bedding. “Yeah, okay,” he agreed. “Dirtier.”

“Do it,” Luka begged, and Adrien spent the next twenty minutes finger painting with sour cream, using Luka’s body as his canvas and cleaning it all up with his tongue.

[asdfghjkl1x1]

Hunters | Grace, Kozue, Lucas, Régine

The previous day was spent in hours of catching up, and lots of walk with the wolves. Everyone took on the roles they eventually fell in with the time they've just spent. Grace and Kozue would lead, Régine would take out the rear guard while Lucas made sure they were good all over the road. As for William, he would take care of their direction as he mapped out where they were going.

"So, you're the leader of the pack?" Kozue asked Grace.

"I think the word is Alpha, chérie" Régine corrected.

"I lead this pack since that night I drove them out of town, I've spent some time with them, on top of that, the wolf I fought happened to be their leader."

"Did you...?"

"No, he's over there" Grace pointed at a gray wolf. The animal saw her and went to where she was, then lied by her feet. "I'm more of an accidental Alpha, so the least I can do is take them to a new home"

"If you're the Alpha, then what's Lucas?" Kozue asked.

"A beta, same for Régine, these wolves took her in immediately, I'm surprised"

"Don't be. You hugged me yesterday. They only took me in because I smelled like you. As for Jean-Luc, I'm sure it's because they've spent enough time with him."

"Yes, he would heal them when they were wounded"

"Et voilá" Régine pointed at Grace while looking at Kozue.

"William-san is your cousin, why didn't they take him in too? Shouldn't you guys have the same smell or something?"

"That I'm not sure, but so far, the wolves seem to not like him, and I don't know why." Grace said as she looked at William by the lake taking notes on a notebook.

"Uhm... if Régine and Lucas are betas, am I a beta, too?"

"Uhm... no, Kozue, you're not."

"But they're extra careful with me, they probably love me" she giggled.

Grace smiled and sighed "I told you you would hate me but I didn't tell you why" she swallowed "You're... the Alphasmate"

Régine laughed, and Grace blushed. Kozue, on the other hand, was confused "What's that?"

"Uhm..." Grace was nervous and didn't know how to convey the information.

Régine noticed and went ahead "Cherié, to the wolves, you two mated. Like, let's put it in this way, you're married in their... law. So, they will obey you and Sadako as much as they do with Grace and Marion."

Kozue froze, she looked at Grace then at Régine, stood silent for a while before finally protesting "Couldn't you at least be nice and propose properly?" then realized about something else "Oh God, I can't be married, I'm  supposed to marry F..." she bit her lip at a certain name, and looked down sad.

"Who?" Grace asked.

"None of your business" Kozue said in a serious tone, so unusual for her that she blinked in disbelief, before walking away.

Lots of thoughts were going through the Asian's mind as she walked deep into the forest, she knew that the Welsh was not going to let it rest, not because she wanted to nag at her for anything, but because she might offer herself, as usual, to help her. Kozue thought that Grace already had enough on helping people, and that for once, she should let others help her.

The steps being heard behind, confirmed her that such thing was not going to happen yet, so she stopped.

"Talk to me, Kozue"

Kozue hugged herself. How to start and where to start were things she didn't know how to convey.

"It's Freya you're supposed to marry, right?" Grace dared to shoot. Kozue and her weren't much about beating the bush, and that was one aspect she loved about their friendship. Not to mention it was something agreed between them, thanks to Kozue's cousin, Haruko.

The Asian froze, then let out a long sigh without releasing her own arms nor facing the Welsh, "I think that'd be an arrogant and childish thought."

Grace smiled and approached slowly behind her before hugging her from behind "Loving someone is not arrogant or childish, Kozue. Maybe assuming it's like your fate could be, but that's how love works. It makes absolutely not sense sometimes" she giggled.

Kozue leaned her head back and rested it against Grace's chest "Why you're always so warm?"

"Why you haven't told her about your feelings?"

"It's not that easy, Grace"

"Why?"

"There's someone else I don't know" Kozue groaned softly "I left feeling jealous of that someone I don't even know"

Grace sighed "Haven't you thought that maybe... it could be you?"

"What?"

"Okay, Penelope, you're into war themes and stuff. Let's say you're a princess who's supposed to find a suitor soon, because your father want it so, and you've been single for way too long. Your name is Penelope."

"Am I getting a story from you?" Kozue giggled.

"Yes, you are. Let me continue."

Kozue nodded and Grace continued "Now, there's a lot of people who try to go after you during your daily life, and then there's your best friend, Minerva, someone who's grown with you, someone who actually you enjoy spending time with, but never considered taking her as your wife, even though you would be okay if that happened."

"One day, this friend asks for your hand to your parents without you knowing, they're not agree with it, because despite being honourable, she has no dowry, nor comes from an important family. Then informs you she's departing for a long time, but promises to come back to you."

"Time passes and every day, Penelope gets sadder because Minerva is not with her. Then she starts overthinking on how many other people her best friend must be with, because this person had the freedom and strength to go on adventures every time she wanted. So Penelope, started to feel jealous, not only of Minerva's status, but of the amount of imaginary women her mind created that would be of her best friend's taste, blondes, redheads, tall, short, it didn't matter. She just assumed there was someone else and that it was not her."

"Next day, your father comes to you and informs that you have until the next feast to choose a suitor, he already picked 5, so you should choose among those. The day comes, and considering you had no time to get acquainted, you assumed this is the last day you're free, so, true to yourself on looking someone to admire, you make someone bring your mother's bow and tell all of them that the one who would fix it, would marry you."

"Since these were mainly aristocrats, none of them knew how to fix the bow. Then, someone under a cloak came over, and did so. The person first made the King to promise that if they fixed the bow, no matter what he'll keep his word. The King agreed, the person, after some struggle, fixed the bow."

"The person turned out to be Minerva, right?" Kozue giggled

"Yes, how do you know?"

"Because you're doing quite the crossover there, and Ulysses or Odysseus did sleep with some other women, and the tale actually made a good deal on Penelope's loyalty"

"You know I'm not as well-versed in Greek mythology as you are"

Kozue giggled "It's okay, Penelope deserved the goddess as her wife. Both were loyal in your tale."

"That's precisely what I'm trying to illustrate, and I just don't know how The Iliad went."

"Odysseus and Penelope are from The Odyssey, Grace"

"I always confuse those two. Maybe we should talk about Arthurian legends, I would be glad about it."

Kozue giggled "I'm not going to give you the upper hand" she turned to face her and smiled. Her face slowly went sad "I can't just tell Freya I like her."

"Kozue, I think a certain number of people can see Freya has feelings towards you."

"I never said I didn't know her feelings towards me"

At this, Grace froze, "What do you mean?"

Kozue smiled at her sadly "When you told me everything about Marion, I first disliked how much it seemed that you wanted her to be out of you, to be put aside, as if she wasn't part of you, too. I said I was not going to do that with Sadako. So, I made a deal with her, well, you know that, the memory part. But there's one I never told anyone..." she bit her lip, then took a deep breath "I wanted Sadako to be loved by Freya instead of me, because if she did so, maybe, just maybe, we could be together because she would love me the way I was" she took a deep breath and stared at Grace's face.

"...Did it work?"

Kozue smiled "It did, just not the way I expected. Everything comes with a price. That's when I understood part of who we are, and the things you did. I realized that what you did was not trying to get rid of her. I mean, Marion wrote books. You gave her a life, freedom, and a place where she was going to be accepted for who she is, and it worked. But in exchange, you got this personality trait of disliking yourself, of feeling inferior."

Grace started to ponder about it, and Kozue was right, while she occasionally knew how to recognize when she was not someone else's size, on her youth, she didn't remember treating herself as someone less than others.

The Asian pursed her lips "Naivety is not exactly part of me"

Grace stood silent for a few seconds before finally understanding "You sold your love for Freya to Sadako.., right?"

Kozue looked down and nodded.

"Why?"

"I was afraid"

"Of what?"

"That one day she would leave like Lucy... or would be completely scared of me, or won't trust me anymore." Kozue shut her eyes "Maybe is for the best there's someone else. I'll feel better if she has someone... normal to be with."

Grace's hug went tight, she completely understood that feeling and had no intention of condemning her for it.

"Please, at least let her know about it. Tell her about your feelings and get some peace from it if it turns out she's not willing to correspond your love."

"I should"

"If you two are done, would you please come over and start with today's hunt? We have 57 mouths to feed" Régine's voice was heard behind them.

Grace frowned in confusion and corrected her "We're 55"

"Sadako and Marion count, too."

The morning was fresh and windy, good for hunting—Grace thought, since it was easy for Marion to catch the smell of her prey in the air and know where to go. "You should take off your jacket, shirt and shoes, it'd be a good training for you, you should try to bring out Sadako, it'll be quicker for both"

"I don't know how to call her on will. Though..." she looked up "at midnight she'll take over"

"Day 29th, right?"

Kozue nodded. Deep down, and maybe for the first time, she was excited it was happening.

They ran several meters, which easily made it to a kilometre or two, Grace's original experience on hunting served for Marion to be more accurate on the task and not acting on mere instincts.

It was quite a novelty for Kozue to be her in front of Marion, at the alter's 'Hey, kid' she blushed easily. She tried to keep up as much as she could with the running, but at some moment she had to stay slow down.

Marion would go over her and try to run in the same speed, since the hunters of the pack are supposed to move together, and it was demanded of her as the Alphasmate, after all, the latter was supposed to be an equal to the Alpha.

However, when she got tired, Kozue decided to use her own skills to keep up by organizing the attacks and make the wolves move better along Marion. It worked perfectly, and at the end, she earned their respect.

"I don't think those are enough rabbits for this pack, there won't be many for all, shouldn't we go for a deer or something?" Kozue suggested as she counted what they got.

"That'd be hard, I'm not sure where we are, and I don't think they come out around this time. Unless you plan—"

Kozue raised her hand, she seemed to be picking some nearby sound.

"Your ears are working already?"

"The more we approach to midnight, the more they will heighten" then she groaned. "I forgot my earplugs"

"Shit" then realized about something "Cotton balls, I'm sure Lucas can get you some if it gets unbear—"

Kozue raised her hand again "Do wolves eat fish?"

"Yes, they can't fish, but can steal it from other animals and eat it without any problems"

The Asian smiled "There's a river close. And I can tell there's a lot of flopping sounds"

Both ladies reached the river, and indeed, the current was flooded with fishes of a few kinds, Marion looked for the others and they started to fish for everyone. The alter was impressed with Kozue and how easy it was for her to fish with her bare hands. On her side, she was not that skilled, all the fishes would navigate and slip through her hands without staying in between them, making her groan in frustration.

Kozue giggled at her status, "You should get some branches, I'll make you something for you to fish. You got a knife?"

Marion gave her her knife after going for some branches, she felt a bit uncomfortable for being unable to do so, Grace had a few handful skills but fishing wasn't one of those.

The Asian prepared the branches in a way one could take the fishes, by piercing their bodies while in the water. "Here, I think you can do it now"

Marion took the long branch and with a bit of focus she would catch fishes and give it to the wolves easily, she smiled in triumph and kept fishing for a while.

Lucas and William started a fire and prepared everything to cook the fishes for them, while Régine would feed the sick and old wolves with rabbits.

Once they ate, the Frenchwoman stared at them, then at the river "We can't stay that long here"

"Why?" asked Kozue as she caressed Yuki's back.

"Just a bad feeling"

William would look around them, then briefly thought that Régine held her eyes on his, but as soon as he blinked they were no more. I must be imagining things.

They picked up their things, put out the fire, and kept walking, they needed to cover their quote for the day, otherwise, the trip might get longer, and who knows what dangers could lie ahead if they didn't move fast, after all, they weren't exactly difficult to spot with a pack of 50 wolves among them.

On the afternoon, they took a rest, after they got a bit away from the river's current. Régine and Grace decided to keep it as reference to know when they would get to the sea and how far they were from it.

They walked some more until the sun started to lower, and the light started to fade. William made a bonfire, Lucas examined both Grace and the wolves, not finding anything bad with them.

Kozue on the other hand, started to frown while seeing, and listening to the flames and the burning wood.

"Are you okay?" Luke asked.

"I am" she smiled "It's just a headache. I had a lot of activity today, maybe I should just sleep."

Grace didn't notice because she was busy observing the wolves and William, The latter seemed more and more interested on keeping an eye on Lucas, that when he smiled, his cousin got a bit alarmed and avoided to think out of the friendship perspective. I hope this trip ends soon.

Kozue went to sleep first, an hour later the rest followed, Grace being the last, the Welsh observed how the Asian seemed to have troubles in her sleep, but still managed to calm down after a few seconds. She lied next to her and pulled her close. Must be a nightmare.

A few hours later, a sharp and terrible pain on her shoulder woke up Grace, it took a few seconds to understand that it came from teeth. Who— Her eyes went wide open at seeing a Kozue with still closed eyes biting her. She had to do something and fast.

Régine woke up, alarmed at the vision and approached quickly to them.

Grace raised her hand, to stop her, the least she wanted was to alarm all the wolves with the idea that their Alpha was being apparently betrayed by her Alphasmate. She took her index to her lips, and her eyes went to William and Lucas.

The Frenchwoman understood.

thig air adhart.

Marion took Kozue gently, holding any sounds of pain and took her apart from everyone, whatever the nightmare was, it made the lady act aggressively and sleepwalk easily during it.

The Asian stopped, only to change the teeth for her nails.

The alter made her best to avoid the attacks, but the speed was far superior from the girl she hunted with earlier that day. She had no choice, she had to try to wake her up by responding to the actions.

After avoiding more swift attacks on her way, she managed to slap her face, without any success, she tried pulling her hair, pinching her, but this was indeed a deep sleep, and the nightmare seemed to not end. Finally, she decided that it was better to do the same as her. She took her arm, bad bit it, holding into it.

The sleeping Kozue managed to take Marion's arm and bite it as well.

Blood dripped from their arms, making their bites harder with every second it passed. Marion finally whimpered out of pain, she shut her eyes and covered her mouth, she couldn't wake up the wolves. When she opened her eyes, she found the other's eyes looking back at her, first confused, then alarmed, letting go of her arm.

"Are you okay?" Marion asked.

"I am" the Asian panted "I am" she repeated in a serious and slightly low tone, then looked around, not recognizing the place "Where are we?"

The alter noticed the change and knew who she was talking to "Nice too see you again, Sadako. Sure, you could have spared my arm"

Sadako winced "Shit. I'm so sorry, Marion" and checked her arm. "Again, where are we, how did I get here?"

Marion explained everything to her, and she nodded any other time, feeling more calmed about the situation and glad that her equal had a way to go to her original personality and back. "Let's go with the others, we'll let Lucas take care of this."

All of sudden, a mighty roar was heard that made both the ladies jump in surprise. "A bear"

Marion tried to pick the smell of the animal "It's been trailing us... since our stop at the river, apparently. It smells of fish" then observed her arm "and this blood is not going to help. We'll cover this and move as silent as we can."

Sadako heard enough to know that it's been after them, and it was approaching.

When they made it with the other and woke them up, Marion pushed the once Alpha to the others, telling him to go with the others, but apparently, the wolf was trying to find who hurt her instead.

Sadako called on Yuki, regrouped the pack, and started to walk. If they didn't move soon, the bear will get them.

Lucas stayed with Marion since she refused to leave blood trails to the animal, which was the wisest thing to do, while the others went ahead.

A gunshot was heard in the air, from behind them, the bear roared once more and ran to the other direction.

Hunters?

[chemicalmagecraft]

The Gamer Hero, Deku Chapter 9

A/N: Okay, thanks to everyone who contributed to that explosion of suggestions. Was nice. A few things:

Remzal Von Enili: That is an interesting idea and I wish I could find a way to use it.

ImSoBored246: I don't think I'm going to go that extreme, but thanks for the suggestion.

Plasma Dragon 312: That's a cool skill. I already had an idea for PhysEnd's upgrade, so unfortunately that's probably not going to be it, but I appreciate you suggesting a skill and am going to try to find a way to include it somehow.

RavenJ: Thanks for telling me that. WAIT DANGIT! At the very least, you can't tell me his hair isn't antigravity...

To everyone who suggested a fire-type Pokémon for Izuku: Thank you! You all had great ideas and I honestly wish I could pick them all, buuuut there would be some logistic problems with that... The winning suggestion, however, goes to a guest because I liked the Pokémon and logic behind it used and then grew too attached to my design to change my mind. Not gonna say what it is here, though.

And considering how well that worked out, I'd also appreciate any title suggestions for as-of-yet untitled characters and also skill suggestions. Because I highly appreciate any time someone gives me an excuse to do less work, lol.

xoxoxo

Yuuei was... surprisingly mundane. I don't know what I was expecting, but after the rush of being taught by pro heroes wore off, it was actually boring. At least it was good for leveling Enlightenment. Though Enlightenment actually leveled rather slowly for a level one skill, probably because it was a prestige skill. I was really excited to see what getting that up would do.

Of course, there was one class that I didn't want to miss one second of. Hero Basic Training.

"I AM HERE!" All Might shouted as he burst through the door in his silver age costume, causing a wave of excitement to run through the class. "Today will be your first class with me, All Might! In this class, you will learn what you will need to defeat villains and save lives! But before we begin!" He pointed at some panels on the wall that Observe told me held our hero costumes behind them! On cue, they slowly came out from the wall. "I'm not the only one who's going to be in costume today! Suit up in your new outfits and meet me at training ground beta!

xoxoxo

All Might gave his trademark brilliant smile as he watched us slow-walk through the entrance to training ground beta, somehow in perfect sync. "They say clothes make the pros, class, and you are no exception!" Everyone looked so cool in their costumes!

"Hey, Deku!" Uraraka said as she walked over to me. She had a black-and-pink bodysuit that looked like a futuristic space suit. "I love your costume! It's supposed to be like an RPG character, right?"

"Yeah that was the idea," I said. At first, I'd wanted a jumpsuit with horns that looked like All Might's hair, but when I showed it to Kacchan he hit me so hard I leveled up Physical Endurance (though to be fair I was almost to the next level at the time) and told me that it would be too obvious and it'd make me look like a rabbit. 

Upon threat of further violence, I agreed to change my outfit to something a little more original, and decided to just go with the RPG theme that my Quirk gave me. I had a green waistcoat over a long-sleeved white shirt, dark green pants, my sweet red shoes, white gloves, a small utility belt that I suppose was superfluous with my inventory but still looked cool, and a green hooded cloak that I had include rabbit ears as a joke to Kacchan at first, then decided I liked it and kept it. It all had light armor that didn't mess with the look or harm my mobility but still added slightly to my defenses. The most surprising part, though, was that my request for a sword so I didn't have to waste mana on Bound Blade was accepted. Sure, I had spells that worked well with a sword, but I could also make swords and I didn't expect them to let me have a sword on my first year. "I think yours looks nice too." I also expected that without Gamer's Mind I would have been very flustered...

Ururaka sighed. "I wish I'd been more specific with my costume, this is a little embarrassing..."

"Look at it this way; at least you're not Ponytail or Invisible," Kacchan said with an amused grin. His costume was pretty cool, but I still think those gauntlets looked a little too bulky, even after he had them reduced a bit and include switchable sweat cartridges at my suggestion. I saw he also had the water bottle I'd suggested to keep hydrated so he could sweat more. "One of them's half naked and the other's only wearing gloves and shoes."

"In my defense, I need bare skin for my Quirk, Creation," Yaoyorozu stated.

"Dude, I'm naked, like, all the time when I'm at home," Hagakure told Kacchan. I noticed that her title was transparent. Not fully invisible, but harder to see than it used to be. I shrugged it off as my Quirk making it harder for me to see her title because she was supposed to be harder to see. "And I got points in the entrance exam by sneaking around buck naked and messing around with the robots' innards and stuff."

Mineta gave a thumbs-up. "Naked ladies..." He drooled... Ugh.

"Nobody asked you, Dick-for-brains!" Kacchan shouted at him.

"Now that you're all in costume, we're going to begin with combat training!" All Might told us. "Unlike the entrance exam, where you fought robots outside, today you'll all be fighting each other indoors! Now, can anyone tell me why it is important to know how to fight indoors?"

Almost immediately, Iida's hand shot up. "While it is true that most confrontations between heroes and villains happen outdoors, the vast majority of all fights between heroes and villains are in fact inside!" He was wearing really cool white armor that reminded me of Ingenium and my Observe told me was more to reduce wind resistance than defend from attacks.

"Exactly, young Iida! And so for your training exercise today, you will be divided into teams of two! Those teams will then be pitted against each other, one hero team against one villain team! The villains will be hiding a fake bomb somewhere in the building and it will be the heroes' job to find it! The heroes will win if they capture both villains or touch the bomb! On the other hand, the villains win if they capture the heroes or survive to the end of the time limit! And try not to hurt each other too hard!" Then he pulled out a cardboard box. "And the teams will be decided by drawing lots!"

"Why lots?" Iida asked.

"Pros can't always choose who they're working with, so maybe it's to represent that?" I offered.

"Exactly, young Midoriya! Now, let's see who the teams are!"

xoxoxo

In a freak twist of fate that further cemented my decision to no longer grind LUC because it's not that worth it, Uraraka and I, in team A, were put against Kacchan and Iida in team D. Kacchan and Iida as the villain team were given five minutes to get set up, and we were allowed to plan outside while they were in there. I sighed. "What's wrong, Midoriya?" Uraraka asked.

"I know that this might sound a little bit like bragging, but Kacchan's really the only person in the class that I know for sure could win in a fight against me. I think Todoroki might be able to put up a decent fight, but Kacchan knows what I can do the best and his Quirk and magic combined make him a definite threat. Plus, he's the only person who might be able to counter the plan I came up with."

Uraraka grinned. "Then we're just gonna have to do our best! What's the plan?"

I nodded. "First, I'm going to summon reinforcements. Don't freak out." I summoned all of my elementals, including my new fire elemental, Blaise. He wore a light brown long-sleeved shirt with thin black horizontal lines. His black pants, black shoes, and black gloves covered up the rest of his skin below his neck. He had a mane of wild white hair with five wavy red... ponytails(?) arranged in a way that made his head the center of a five-pointed star. He also had a neck warmer/mask in the same shade of white as his hair that was pulled up over his nose. What little skin on his face that was visible was pitch-black, and his scleraless eyes glowed bright blue. He was probably the least human-looking elemental I had.

"Wow, what kind of spell is this?" Uraraka asked as she crouched down a bit to look at Dune. Thankfully, I'd managed to get Dune to switch from a gun to some sort of military-type knife sheathed on her sleeve in public.

"Sup, I'm Dune," Dune introduced herself.

"Halitus," Halitus muttered.

Rayne gave her a wide, toothy grin and pulled out her sword. "I'm Rayne! Need something stabbed?"

"No, Rayne," Blaise sighed as he grabbed her hand and lowered the sword she was brandishing for her. "Name's Blaise."

Uraraka laughed, causing Rayne to give a toothy grin and blush a little. "These are my elementals," I said. "They're able to control the elements. My plan is to use a certain spell I have to sneak into the building." I bit my lip. "Unfortunately, the best way to use it is to have you act as a distraction... Is that okay?"

She nodded. "It's totally okay! I'm guessing there's technical stuff at work?"

"Yeah. The spell, Illusion Barrier, takes me and anything I include into a sort of pocket dimension, and while I know how to exclude my elementals, I don't think I can put you in and not me..."

"I said it's fine!" Uraraka beamed. "That's super cool though! So you can just disappear at will? That's gotta be so useful!"

"Start!" All Might's voice said from our earpieces.

"I'm pulling us in!" I warned. "Illusion Barrier!" Nothing seemed to change, but I knew it worked. "Right, we should probably split up so we can cover more ground. Objects, like the bomb, will still be where they were when I used the spell, but Kacchan and Iida aren't in the barrier. I saw them on my map in the northern part of the building, but the map doesn't show elevation, so we need to check each floor. Let's go!"

xoxoxo

Bakugou sighed. This was going to be a fucking nightmare. "I am loath to act on the side of the villains, even if it's just for practice, but if I must, then I shall," Ingenium Junior said.

"'Kay, first off, Glasses, you're gonna have to think like a villain sometimes if you wanna get the jump on the real villains," Bakugou said. "Second off, can you please let me think?"

"Ah, yes. Is Midoriya likely to give us trouble?"

Bakugou gave a deeper sigh. "More like he's gonna fucking appear out of thin air on top of the bomb if I don't figure out a counter to what I'm pretty sure is dimensional fuckery. Deku's got a spell called Illusion Barrier that lets him go to some other dimension of total bullshit or something where everything's the same but nobody's there."

Even through his helmet, Bakugou could see Glasses' wince. "That sounds like it'll be difficult to counter. I will defer to your lead."

"Right, first off, this." Bakugou made a fire ball, using it to summon Pyra. Like Deku's elementals, Pyra seemed to have ranked up, causing her to look older and gain a small bump on her forehead for some reason. "This is Pyra. She's made of fire. Deal with it."

"Hello," Pyra said with a small wave. "I am a fire elemental."

"If I know Deku like I know Deku, and I know Deku, then Round Face is gonna pop out of nowhere sometime soon with at least one of Deku's four elementals to distract us. By the way, Deku has four Pyras of various elements. Deal with it. While that happens, Deku'll make his way over to the bomb in his Bullshit Barrier and just pop back in on top of it. I want you and Pyra to hold off Round Face and the elementals while I try to enact Operation Punch Deku in the Fucking Face from Another Dimension, or OPDFFAD for short. That sound good?"

Glasses nodded. "It does, though I'd like to know what OPDFFAD entails, if you don't mind me asking."

"Step one is to make some kind of sensory spell that can hopefully be used to sense dimensional fuckery. I've already made a spell that I think can do that, but I have to concentrate on it and it's a bitch on my mana. Step two is to try using it on Deku while he's entering or exiting Bullshitland. Step three, try to use that data to sense where Deku is in Bullshitland and then cause my fist to enter Bullshitland with magic."

"There are a lot of ifs in that plan..." Glasses sounded a little doubtful.

Bakugou glared at him. "You got a better plan?"

"On the other hand, this is a training exercise. Why exactly do you think your spell will sense Midoriya's Illusion Barrier?"

"Because I used it on Round Face and felt something when she used her Quirk that wasn't magic, which I'm assuming was her gravity fuckery, which according to Einstein is a type of dimensional fuckery."

"I... do not believe those were his exact words, but that sounds about right."

"Then I got Deku to use his inventory and felt a similar but different feeling, which pretty much confirms it's Fuckery Detection."

"I literally cannot argue with that logic."

"Now shut up so I can detect fuckery." Bakugou leaned on the bomb so he could close his eyes and reach out with his Fuckery Detection. It needed him to spread out a thin layer of mana over the area he wanted to detect, which meant that he wouldn't be able to use it over too large of an area if he wanted to do it for a while. Thankfully, Pyra had given him the general direction of Deku's and Round Face's heat signatures, so he was able to find the two relatively easily, plus all four of Deku's elementals. 

Just a few fucking moments after he got set up, All Might announced that the heroes could start, causing Deku drag them all into Bullshitland. Bakugou definitely felt... something when they fucked off, but he felt like he'd need to feel an exit to get any concrete idea. Still, he definitely felt just the lightest bit of a person-shaped spatial disturbance or whatever the fuck where the heroes were. He was able to follow one of the signals that he thought might have been Round Face until it made its way to the room with the bomb, convening with some other, shorter, human-shaped disturbances.

"Get ready," Bakugou warned, then concentrated harder on the signal. He was just in time to catch Round Face and the elementals getting dumped out of Bullshitland, which gave Bakugou a surprising degree of insight on how Illusion Barrier worked. He felt Bullshitland change when Round Face was spat out, then felt it change back a few moments later when Deku presumably recast the spell. It seemed like there was some sort of dimensional barrier or whatever the fuck that was already there, and Deku called on a part of it to use his Illusion Barrier, which Bakugou figured made sense of what Deku was muttering about when he was talking about his spell. But with that knowledge, Bakugou figured he could maybe punch Deku. He grinned as he felt Deku's signature approaching, then Blast Rushed at it when it jumped toward the bomb. "DIEEEEEEE!"

xoxoxo

The plan seemed to be going off without a hitch. Uraraka found the bomb quickly enough and called me to bring my elementals over. As they got into position, I found a spot that was out of the way enough that the villain team wouldn't notice me blink into existence for a moment, but close enough that I could get over to the bomb quickly and not keep Uraraka waiting for too long. I undid the Illusion Barrier for a moment before pulling myself and only myself back in. I'd had a lot of practice with exiting and reentering Illusion Barrier whenever I was switching between empty and skeletons, so it took less than a second. I ran toward the bomb as fast as I could, using Air Aura and Speed Up to get there faster. Within a few seconds, I saw and jumped at the fake bomb, aiming to land on top of it so I could just appear there and win. It looked like I was about to win!

Then Kacchan faded into existence in front of me, screaming, "DIEEEEEEE!" He punched me on the jaw, throwing me back. I was stunned, but more from the shock of Kacchan appeaing out of nowhere in an area I never expected him to than from pain. "You thought you could escape fighting me by fucking off to Bullshitland, Deku?" Kacchan smirked at me. "Fuck that noise."

"How?" I asked. I noted that I could see Iida and Pyra fighting my team as I got up. "Did the skill fail?"

"Fuck yeah it did!" His grin widened and he pointed at himself. "And I was the one who made it fail!"

"I'm gonna stab you!" I heard Rayne say gleefully.

I immediately turned to see Rayne brandishing her sword at Iida. "No maiming, Rayne!" I shouted frantically.

"But he tried to kick the pretty lady!" she retorted.

"No!" I said like I was telling a little kid not to draw on the walls. I turned back to Kacchan. "Sorry, didn't want Rayne to kill Iida."

He shrugged. "That's fair. Now hit me with your bes-" He cut himself off by using his gauntlets to block the flat of my sword. Kacchan being Kacchan, this only served to make him look extremely happy. After a quick test showing that trying to recast Illusion Barrier was futile, I used Air Aura to strike at him with a quick flurry of blows. Even though he wasn't as fast as me, Kacchan was fast enough that he could use both gauntlets to block my strikes. Of course, my plan wasn't to hit him with a sword. Instead, I kept his attention on my sword as I got out the capture tape that All Might gave us. I managed to make a loop with the tape with my hand and then gave Kacchan a particularly hard swipe. When he blocked, I tried to catch his hands in the loop, which would have disqualified him. Unfortunately, he incinerated the tape before it even touched him and then backhanded me, knocking me back. 

I tried to jump over Kacchan, but he Blast Rushed up at me and punched at me again, though this time I Air Jumped away, landing on the side of a pillar. I pushed off of the pillar with eight percent One For All, aiming to get over Kacchan. Unfortunately, he just flew up to me, causing me to to jump up to the ceiling and kick off away from Kacchan. This time, I threw an Air Shot at him, blasting him back and me toward the bomb. For good measure, I threw a Bind at him, which I really should have done earlier. Without Kacchan to deal with, I realized that maybe I might be falling hard enough to damage the bomb, so I braked with air mana. While it didn't stop me completely, I slowed down enough that I touched down on the bomb relatively lightly. "HERO TEAM WINS!" All Might announced.

xoxoxo

After the battle ended, All Might had us meet up in the room where the rest of the class had watched our fight for a review of our fight. "Now," All Might said, "who can tell me who the MVP if this round was?"

Yaoyorozu raised her hand. "Surely it's Midoriya, right? He came up with the plan, and it would have gone without a hitch if the matchups had gone any differently."

I felt my cheeks heating up a bit. "N-no, surely the others deserve some of the credit too..."

Kacchan slapped me upside the head. "You won, idiot."

"Yeah, but you three and the elementals also..."

"I won't deny that everyone contributed, young Midoriya! However, you most certainly deserve the spot of MVP!"

My eyes watered a bit. "Thanks, everyone..."

"And unless there are any more questions, let us begin with the second match!" All Might loudly declared. I perked up at that. I was really excited to see everyone's Quirks in a fight.

xoxoxo

A/N: And now dimensional fuckery is an actual scientific term thanks to Kacchan. Because it made me laugh and that's about half of how my writing works.

And FYI, Deku's outfit is basically his outfit from the fantasy AU thing in that one outro, but with a cloak to make him more wizardy. Bakugou's outfit is mostly the same except for the changes noted. Everyone else is the same.

[captaindeanwinchesterforever]

Surprise, Mother Fucker pt. 4

Oh, y'all are going to kill me. This is the longest one yet. I thought that this would be just two parts, but I was asked to do a part 3. I did, but now it has gotten out of hand... I appreciate all of you who read my stuff and those of you who reblog and like my posts. I definitely feel the love. Without further a due here is part 4. Oh, I ended up putting pictures in this one so y'all could get a feel of what everything looked like.

Pairings: Lucifer x reader, ft. Sam, Dean, Castiel, and pretty much the rest of the family

Warnings: a lot of fluff and when I say a lot, I mean the whole thing, and a few curse words

Word Count: 3,599 (please don't hate me)

Today was the big day. I had been waiting for this day ever since I was a little girl. It was my wedding day. I just never thought I would be spending the rest of my life with Lucifer himself. I couldn’t imagine spending my life with anyone else, though. Luci and I had come a long way from the first time I revealed myself as his soulmate. Our bond grew stronger with each passing day and I couldn’t be happier.

           I was starting to get nervous and I could feel my hands beginning to shake. It was almost time for me to walk down the aisle to my future husband. The thought of Lucifer being my husband made me smile. I was standing alone in a room looking into a mirror. I stared at my dress and I admired how different it was from the normal white dress people wear on their wedding days. My situation was much different than most and so my wedding was going to be that way, too. My dress was a black ball gown with a full skirt and the bodice was covered in diamonds. Lucifer spared no expense when it came to my wedding dress. I told him that I didn’t need actual diamonds, but he insisted. The skirt glided across the floor as I walked. I felt like Cinderella, but with a few differences. I looked over at the table beside the mirror and picked up the tiara I was going to wear. It was covered in jewels with a rose gold accent. I placed it on the top of my head and then pinned my veil to my hair. It was made of a shear material with lace embordering around the edges. It was long, it cascaded down past the bottom of my dress. I glanced at myself in the mirror and imagined what the rest of the night would hold. I bent down to put my black, sparkly high heels on when I heard the door open.

           Sam and Dean walked through the door and they looked at me with the biggest smiles.

           “(Y/N), you are so beautiful. We are both so happy for you.” I could feel the tears forming in my eyes as Sam was talking. I was happy my boys, my family were able to be here for my wedding.

           “Yeah, even if you are marrying the Devil.” Sam punched Dean in the arm, and I giggled. I knew he was picking, because he gave me that famous Dean Winchester smile.

           “In all seriousness, we love you (Y/N). You will always be a Winchester. We wouldn’t miss this day for anything.”

           “I love you two so much, more than you both will ever know, and I couldn’t imagine my life without you both. I’m so happy you guys are here for this and I’m happy that Cas came, too. Thank you for getting him here. Thank you both so much for everything.” A tear fell down my cheek and Dean reached up and wiped it away.

           “Don’t cry, kiddo. We have some surprises for you. Oh, what is that saying? Something old, something borrowed, something new, and something blue?” Sam looked at Dean with an annoyed look.

           “Anyways, we got you a few things for your special day.” Sam handed me my first gift. It was one of Sam’s old flannel shirts I always wore. It was practically mine.

           “Aw, Sam thank you. I always loved wearing this and I missed it a lot.” I hugged it and then laid the shirt down on the table near the mirror. Dean handed me my next gift. It was a red jewelry box. I opened it up and saw the most beautiful pair of earrings. They were shaped like tear drops with diamonds and the accent was rose gold. Rose gold was my favorite.

           “Those are real diamonds. I picked them out myself.” Dean was so proud of himself and he had a right to be. They were absolutely stunning.

           “Dean, thank you. They are beautiful. They’re so shiny. You know how I love shiny things.”

           “Anything for my girl.” I took the earrings into my hands and placed them in the pierced places of my ears. After I got them in my ears, Sam handed me a little wooden box with the Men of Letters symbol on it. I opened it and there was a key. It was the key to the bunker. I looked up at them both, surprised by this present.

           “So, we worked our special Winchester magic and had a key to the bunker made for you. That way you can always come home. I know it’s supposed to be something borrowed, but we kind of need a key, too.”

           “It’s perfect! This means so much to me. Thank you for giving me a key to home.” I held back my tears, so I didn’t ruin my makeup.

           “And your next gift is something blue.” Dean pulled out a box with three garters. Two of them were a light blue and the other was white. They were covered with jewels and pearls.

           “I hope this gift isn’t awkward, but Charlie told us that you didn’t have a garter yet so we figured we would take care of it.” I looked up at Dean and then Sam and I wrapped my arms around both of them. They held me in their arms and squeezed me tight.

           “They are perfect. Now turn around so I can put them on.” I slid them up my leg where they wrapped around the middle of my thigh.

           “You can turn back around now. Thank you. I couldn’t have asked for a better family.” I heard someone open the door, it was Cas.

           “It’s time to start, are you all rea-…” Castiel looked me up and down and softly smiled at me. “You look amazing, (Y/N). Absolutely lovely. It is time to go.” Castiel ran out of the room, back to the alter. Cas was marrying me and Lucifer, which was Luci’s idea if I may add.

           “I guess it’s time to go. You ready?” Sam looked down at me and I shook my head yes. Dean and Sam offered me their arms and I placed my hands on each of them. Sam and Dean were escorting me down the aisle to my future husband.

           We stood behind the doors leading to the alter. The music started to play, and the doors opened. There he was standing at the alter waiting on me. Luci looked so handsome in his tuxedo. He wore a black jacket with a white button shirt. His tie was my favorite thing about his tux. It was a dark burgundy color and it matched the flowers in my bouquet. I started to feel butterflies in my stomach and my lips curled up into a smile. That smile never left my face. His smile grew bigger with each step I took. I saw a few tears run down his cheeks and I couldn’t hold mine back anymore. I finally reached the alter. I turned around to kiss Sam and Dean on their cheeks and gave them hugs. Lucifer stood there with his hand reached out toward me and I placed my hand in his.

Lucifer and I were getting married in the garden he created for me. There were huge stone structures all over the garden. There was always one that I went to, to relax and clear my head. The stone was old and so beautiful. It looked like a ball room from a castle that had aged rather well. The place was beautiful. There were lit candles everywhere. They were placed behind the alter and up and down the aisle. There was greenery placed beside the chairs leading to the alter. It was stunning, all the hard work really paid off. I was extremely lucky to be here. It felt like a dream. I was living in my own personal fairytale.

I lifted my hand to his cheek and wiped his tears away. I couldn’t believe this was really happening.

“(Y/N), there are no words to describe how amazingly beautiful you are. I have waited for this day my entire existence.” Lucifer was whispering in my ear. I placed my hand in his and he lifted it to his lips and kissed it.

“We are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Lucifer and (Y/N). Now if we could have the rings.” I was happy Castiel agreed to marry us and it meant so much to me. I heard Belle, my favorite hellhound, make her way down the aisle. I giggled when I saw Dean flinch a little bit when Belle walked past him. I bent down and took the rings from her. I gave her a kiss on the head and motioned for her to come sit beside me. I gave him my ring and I took his.

“Do you (Y/N), promise to love and cherish Lucifer in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?”

“I do.” I looked into Luci’s eyes and all I could see was love. I took his left hand and placed the ring on his finger.

“Do you Lucifer, promise to love and cherish (Y/N) in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?”

“I do. Always.” He placed the ring on my finger and gave me a soft smile.

“If anyone here believes that these two should not wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.” Lucifer turned his head and looked at Sam and Dean. He glared at them with his red glowing eyes. Both of them looked offended. I chuckled under my breath.

“Without further a due, I pronounce you both husband and wife. Lucifer, you may kiss your bride.” Lucifer took my face in his hands and kissed my lips softly. I placed my hands on his sides and gripped the jacket of his tuxedo. I didn’t want that kiss to end, but it had too. There would be plenty of opportunities to steal kisses from my husband later. Everyone was clapping and cheering as we walked out and headed to a hidden room as we waited for the guests to head to the reception. We were both finally able to be alone with each other.

“Are you happy, baby?” Lucifer had his arms wrapped around my waist.

“I’m more than happy, Luc. This is all I’ve ever wanted and more. You are everything I have ever wanted.” I stole a kiss from him. He pulled me closer and I sank into his chest. Our kiss was broken up by a knock on the door, it was Gabriel.

“Oh, nice already getting busy I see.” Lucifer rolled his eyes at his brother. “Everyone is at the reception and we’re waiting on you two love birds.” Gabe was wiggling his eyebrows. He always made me chuckle when he did that. He left the room and I looked at Luc.

“Looks like we better go. Don’t want to keep our guests waiting.” I took his hand in mine and pulled him out the door.

We walked into the part of the garden where the reception was being held. I could see the smiles and admiration on everybody’s faces. I was overcome with joy and it was a moment I was never going to forget. The decorations looked fabulous and the place settings were elegant. The color scheme of our wedding was black with a hint of burgundy and gold.

Lucifer and I took our seats at the table we shared with our family. Sam and Dean sat beside me and Gabriel and Castiel sat beside Lucifer. We all ate and laughed together. I looked out at all the guests. They were all so happy. Charlie was sitting with her date, Crowley, and Rowena. I saw Crowley roll his eyes, which meant Rowena was probably telling an embarrassing story about him. Then I looked at the table where Jody, Donna, and the girls were sitting at. They were laughing at something Donna had said. I glanced over at Mary, Bobby, Ketch, and Garth. Bobby was in the middle of sharing one of his famous hunting stories he loved telling so much. It made my heart soar seeing everyone in one place enjoying each other. Hunting was a stressful job and I think this event gave people the break they deserved. I turned and looked at Lucifer. He was laughing and being his normal sassy self, talking to Gabriel and then I looked at Sam and Dean. They were eating and goofing around with each other. I couldn’t have imagined a more perfect wedding.

The music started to play, and it was time for a little bit of dancing. I sat back and watched my family have fun. Lucifer sat beside me, neither of us were dancers, but we had to have our first dance. Lucifer stood up and offered me his hand. I took it and he walked me out to the dance floor. I let him pick the song to our first dance. The music started to play, and I immediately knew what it was. It was favorite song, I listened to it all the time. The song was called, Can’t Help Falling in Love, and it was a remake with Haley Reinhart singing.

Luci pulled me in tight, wrapping one of his arms around my waist and the other held my hand. We swayed back and forth, my head resting on his chest.

“Thank you, baby.” I said as I looked up at him. He looked a little confused.

“You don’t need to thank me for marrying you, sweetheart.” I wasn’t thanking him for that. It was more than that.

“I want to thank you for giving me a chance, opening up to me. Thank you for loving me for who I am. Thank you for everything.” Lucifer looked down at me and smiled. His eyes were always mesmerizing.

“I’m the one who should be thanking you. You loved me when no one else would. For that I am eternally grateful. (Y/N), I love you to the moon and back. I’d do anything for you.”

“I love you, Luc. More than you will ever know.” The song had ended, and he gave me a kiss that made my heart melt. He broke the kiss when he felt someone tapping on his shoulder.

“My turn to dance with the bride.” I looked over Lucifer’s shoulder, it was Dean. Lucifer had a little bit of an annoyed look on his face, but he knew that it was only right.

“I thought we’d never get rid of him.” I shook my head and grinned. “I’m just kidding. I did want to dance with you before the night was over. Sam is expecting a dance, too.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from my Winchester boys. I know I have told you how happy I am that you two are here, but you don’t know how much this means to me. Love you, D.”

“Love you too lil sis.”

Lucifer’s POV

           I watched her as she danced with Dean and then Sam. She made me the happiest angel in the world. (Y/N) was the most amazing woman I had ever met. I was one lucky guy.

           “You better be careful, they may steal her away.” Lucifer looked over to see Gabriel watching them dance. “I’m just kidding bro. There is no way she’s leaving you. I see the way she looks at you and how her eyes light up when you walk into the room. Not all of us get this opportunity, so don’t fuck this up dude. Oh, looks like I have a chance to dance with the bride. Hope you don’t mind.” Gabriel turned and winked at me. I rolled my eyes and watched as he ran over to dance with my wife. I could see Sam and Dean make their way through the crowd on the dance floor toward me. Oh great, here we go.

           “You’re one lucky son of a bitch. Listen, I’m just gonna say this once. You hurt her in any kind of way, I will hunt you down and kill you myself.” I knew that was going to come out of Dean’s mouth.

           “We know you love her. We can see it every time you look at her, but something does happen to her, we’re coming after you.” Sam smiled, he knew that he wasn’t going to have to worry about that, but he had to make it known.

           “Oh Sammy, I know better than to do that. I’m actually more scared of her than I am of you two.” I motioned my finger between the two of them. I looked up and saw (Y/N) making her way back to her seat.

           “If you both will excuse me, I’m going to go spend some time with my wife.” I smirked at both of them and made my way to her.

Reader’s POV

           All that dancing made me tired and all I wanted to do was go sit down for a little bit. First, I danced with Dean and then Sam, then it was Castiel’s turn, then Gabe decided to sweep in from nowhere, and then Bobby asked if we could dance. I couldn’t turn down Bobby, he was like a father to me. I finally made it to my seat and plopped myself down. I took a deep breath and sighed.

           “You okay, little one?” I jerked my head to see Lucifer sitting beside me. I didn’t even know he had sat down.

           “I’m perfect. Just a lil tired from all that dancing. I saw Sam and Dean talking to you. I hope they didn’t threaten you or anything.” He laughed.

           “Oh, you know them, all bark and no bite.” He always had a witty response to everything, which was one of my favorite things about him. He was like a fox, sly and clever. That was one of the things that drew me in.

           “They have always been over protective of me. You get used to it. I can’t wait to get you alone, baby. You look so sexy in that tux.” I was whispering and his eyes glowed red at my words.

           Lucifer leaned in and whispered in my ear, “the things I’m going to do to you kitten. It’s getting harder and harder for me to keep my hands off of you.” I loved it when he talked to me like that. It always turned me on.

           “You’ll be begging for more when I get done with you.” I looked at him with a seductive smile. He had that devilish smile on his face.

           The reception was coming to an end and it was about time for Luc and I to leave for our honeymoon. I had no idea where we were going, he wanted it to be a surprise. I didn’t mind though, as long as I was with him it didn’t matter. We were saying our goodbyes to everyone as we walked out of the garden. Sam, Dean, and Cas had stopped me.

           “You be safe and remember you can always come home no matter what. You can even bring him if you want.” Dean pointed towards Luci, who was hugging Gabriel good bye. I gave Dean a look and laughed.

           “Seriously, please come back home whenever you want and bring your husband, too. He’s family now.” Sam wrapped his arms around me and then Dean gave me a huge bear hug.

           “(Y/N), if you ever need anything please pray to me and I will be there. I’m going to miss you. You’ll always be my honey bee. We all love you very much. Now go have fun and enjoy your life with your husband.” I hugged Castiel tightly and kissed him on the cheek.

           “You ready to go, baby?” Lucifer asked me as he took my hand. I shook my head and waved good bye to my boys as we walked away. We arrived outside of the garden.

           “Listen, we can either do this the human way or the angel way. It is totally up to you, but I will tell you it is going to take a long while to get where we are going if we do it the human way.” Lucifer said as he held both of my hands in his.

           “Well it sounds like the angel way is the best option, then.”

           “Okay, hold on tight and close your eyes.” I did as he said. I felt a rush of heat and I could hear a high-pitched sound.

           “Okay you can open your eyes now.” I opened them and couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The room we were in looked really familiar and I couldn’t pin point where I had seen it before. It was absolutely beautiful, though. The room was filled with roses and candles that made the room smell wonderful. I saw a balcony and sun light shining through the curtains that were waving in the wind. I walked out to the balcony and looked around. I was definitely surprised at where we were. I had always dreamt of traveling here. I felt the heat of the sun hit my face and I could smell the salt in the air coming from the sea. The view was breathtaking. My heart was racing with excitement. Lucifer had brought me to the most beautiful place on earth. We were in…

To Be Continued…

[quarantineroulette]

Seditions of You: An Interview with Filmmaker Joe Wakeman

Joe Wakeman’s second feature, The Shoplifters (not to be confused with the Palme d’Or-winning film of the same title, but hopefully SEOs are none the wiser) is “a series of tableaux depicting the follies of a group of naïve Marxist would-be radicals” striving to be revolutionaries, only to discover that “what they really want is to be seen wearing berets.” 

Although he began work on it a decade ago, The Shoplifters carries some very timely themes about online activism, consumerism, and the shallowness of modern culture as a whole. With fairly little effort, its thought-provoking vignettes resist passive cultural consumption and its stylistic fluidity keeps it visually stimulating as well. Its 70 minutes also offer a lot of seamless humor, from a slightly slapstick dressing room shoplift to a smart, satirical "revolutionary bake sale” in Washington Square Park.

Ahead of The Shoplifters’ appearance at the NewFilmmakers New York Film Festival on February 6, I spoke with Joe via email about collaborations, Maoist propaganda and Communism as fashion statement, among other fun topics. 

1) What ignited your interest in Marxism & Maoism? 

I've been interested in Marxism since I was a teenager, probably about when I was 13 and first encountered the politically inclined punk of The Sex Pistols and The Clash, and Dead Kennedys -- I think it's somewhat common for young suburbans to go through a "Communist" phase. What I didn't realize at the time was that my interest in Marxism was really less about politics, which admittedly I knew precious little about (though I do lean rather strongly to the left) and more about the iconography of Communism: I would go around with sickle and hammer belt buckles and spell "Revolution" with a backwards “R.” That sort of corny thing.

 Later on, when I was 18 or so, I saw Jean Luc Godard's La Chinoise and his Groupe Dziga Vertov films with Jean-Pierre Gorin, all beautifully boring films depicting sexy French Maoists who do very little real revolutionary activity, despite their ability to quote at length from Marxist texts. These films made it apparent to me that what we think of in the US as "Marxist," where Communism has never been a reality, is as much a set of fashion and cultural signifiers as is the uniform of a typical "Goth" or "Emo Kid" -- berets, fists in the air, shabby clothes, shiny boots and cigarettes. 

2) I believe you've mentioned that you started working on -- or had least conceived of -- The Shoplifters about 10 years ago? In what ways has it changed in that time? 

Yes, at that time my friend Taylor Bruck (who plays Che Smith in the film) and I were also sometimes engaged in the "cool crime of shoplifting." There was a certain politically oriented moral code about it, where it was okay to shoplift from big corporations like Barnes & Noble but not right to steal from local businesses. But after seeing the Godard films we talked about how goofy it would be to take those politics further and call ourselves "revolutionaries,” which became the kernel of the absurd story for The Shoplifters that we wrote together.

The original script had a lot more characters and more action, arsons and assassinations and a lengthy courtroom finale at the end, where the Shoplifters are put on trial for sedition and theft. All that sounds exciting, but keep in mind, this was the script of a teenager. It's really rather cringe-worthy to read today. I threw the whole thing out when I reworked the film, though a couple scenes survive: the opening speech and the fitting-room sequence, where we pile on layers of stolen clothes, are both from the original version of the movie. We tried to shoot scenes from that script at that time, when I was 18 years old, with some borrowed equipment from the TV studio I was working for at the time, but we shot on damaged tapes and botched the sound recording. The material was practically unusable so, dejected, I hung up The Shoplifters for awhile and dedicated myself to working on other things and developing more before taking another crack at it. 

3) Do you see The Shoplifters as sharing any similarities with your first feature, They Read By Night? Although stylistically different, they both seem to lovingly mock certain countercultures. I also like that they both have "nested" films within films (the short in They Read by Night and the music video and "Post-Capitalist Potential for Mass Education in the Internet Age" sequence in The Shoplifters).

Definitely. Actually They Read By Night was an attempt, after the first failure of The Shoplifters, to write a similar film on a smaller scale. I swapped out the berets for leather jackets and the characters became greaser-rock ‘n’ roller juvenile delinquents instead of revolutionaries, but the point is essentially the same -- that their so-called rebellion is still a symptom of capitalism, buying into another kind of "outsider" fashion. 

As for the films-within-the-film element, I've always been attached to the idea that a movie does not have to tell one story, or focus on the story, or even just be one type of film. This is the other big element learned from the likes of Godard and other counterculture filmmakers, Dusan Makavejev, Warhol et al. -- that the "plot" of a film is not so important as the ideas which animate it, and to express those ideas more in the form of a lively discussion that, in a movie, can be shown with images rather than just spoken with words. Let's make our characters watch a film together and see how they react, or in The Shoplifters they educate themselves about Mao Zedong by reading about the Cultural Revolution on Wikipedia and from there its a free-flowing association of images culminating in some psuedo-Greek philosophy. It's the kind of methodology that people experimented with in the ‘60s and you see less often today, though occasionally you do see it, in Sion Sono's excellent recent Antiporno. Or, actually, the web-browser screen cap stuff in The Shoplifters is inspired by the 2014 teen horror film Unfriended. It's kind of a limitation of the cinema's potential when a movie just tells you a story one way, unless the story is really good, like Titanic or something. 

  4) Both films also have musical sequences (the fight scene in They Read By Night and "Style Revolutionaries" in The Shoplifters). Given your involvement in the music scene here in Brooklyn (Joe is in the band Toyzanne, who you should definitely check out, and directs music videos as well), would you ever consider doing a musical?

I love musicals! They're a popular illustration of that same idea -- the story stops, and somebody sings a song that comments on it, or sometimes the song continues the story, or presents a separate situation which is analogous to the story. I was raised on musicals and I think they can still be cutting-edge as a genre, even though many might regard them as old-fashioned. I composed a lot of the music for The Shoplifters, together with DP Torey Cates and help from musician friends from the Brooklyn scene: Brendan Winick (also in Toyzanne), Frank Rathbone and Jenna Nelson (of Sic Tic), Kate Mohanty. Holly Overton and Sannety (who also stars in the film) contributed their unique stylings for different sections of the film as well. When I showed my friend John Sansone an early cut of the film, he remarked that he didn't realize that it was a "musical" which surprised me because there's no singing, (except for the Smiths cover and "Style Revolutionary"). But when I considered the role music plays in the film, it's really not too different from a musical in structure and tone, which was something that made me feel very happy about it. I'd like to eventually do a proper musical with lots of songs that plays with the genre in a more direct way, but I also don't think I'm mature enough yet as a filmmaker to attempt that.

5) How did the various collaborations in the film (the score, and the sequences from Oliver David and Preston Spurlock) come about? 

Oliver David had made two music videos, one for my old band Bodega Bay and one for ONWE that had this style of a slow-motion fashion advertisement for the bands. I really enjoyed these videos and wanted Oliver to do something of a "remake" of the same style, this time advertising the revolutionary cadre in the film instead of a rock ‘n’ roll band, making the not-so-subtle commentary even less so. Likewise, when I was preparing to make the film I became close friends with Preston Spurlock, who makes these mind-blowing video collages of old commercials and such that are like wading through cultural toxic waste dumps to tap into some unconscious reflections that can't be put into words. I connected these in my head to stuff like Godard's Histoire(s) du cinema or the work of Adam Curtis (HyperNormalisation, The Century of the Self) and thought they would add a lot to the dialogue of images I was trying to present in the film.

 I think that it's unimportant for an artist to be the "sole author" of a film. It is more interesting when I think, “Oh, Sannety can do things with electronic music that I don't even understand,” or “Oliver and Preston work in video in a completely different style from me which can form a relationship with my style, so why not ask them to contribute and make it a real dialogue rather than a constructed one.” I think collaboration is key in filmmaking -- it keeps the spirit of montage living through and through the work, which if you consider Eisenstein and Vertov, is really "Revolutionary" filmmaking. 6) I liked the criticisms of Internet activism the film presented. In the ego-driven realm of social media, do you feel there is any way for a pure act of protest or activism to thrive or even exist? 

Yes I do think real activism can exist and can even be given a lot of strength through the Internet and social media -- those things have leveled the playing field and given voice to marginalized communities who hadn’t had that kind of visibility before the advent of these networks. Community organizer Candice Fortin, introduced to me through Gwynn Galitzer and Suffragette City Magazine, is another voice present in the movie, in keeping with the collaborations that exist throughout the film. She explains activism in the modern era and what people can do to start enacting change very eloquently midway through the movie, and i don't think I can say it better than the way she did in the film. She is constantly posting about progressive candidates, organizations and other concerns through social media to bring about political change on a grassroots scale. You can follow her @candicefortin for a start, but mainly pay attention! These opportunities to help are all around. 7) Do you have a favorite piece of Maoist propaganda?

Yes! This Maoist ballet from the cultural revolution, encouraging women to form feminist revolutionary cadres: The Red Detachment of Women. You can watch it on Youtube. Footage from it appears in Preston Spurlock's section of the film, I think it's beautiful and absurd, but I think weirdly Old Hollywood despite its anti-Western screed, like An American in Paris or something but cheaper looking. I really get a kick out of it. Perhaps when this one-day musical comes to fruition I’ll dole out some political ballet as a quiet (or more likely, loud) nod.

The Shoplifters is screening as a part of the NewFilmmakers New York Film Festival at Anthology Film Archives on Feb. 6, 2019. RSVP here. 

[littlej097]

Klaine Advent - Key

Summary: Handing the car key over to your teenager is never an easy thing to do and it was something that Kurt and Blaine definitely weren’t ready for. 

“Guys, I’m fine. I really am.” Kurt told his family. “You can stop fussing over me.” Blaine had just gotten his husband situated on the couch. During a wild family dance party, Kurt had jumped off the couch, landed wrong on his right ankle and had promptly broken it. After a trip to the nearest emergent care center, an x-ray and a big bulky cast placement, the family was finally home.

“Kurt, can you just let us take care of you for once?” Blaine asked.

“It barely hurts.” Kurt told them. “Plus, I have things I need to get done. It’s a school night. Lunches have to be packed. Lucy needs to get a bath. Andrew needs help with his english homework…” he continued to ramble off stuff. It would have been a little easier to handle, but Penny was off at college and couldn’t lend a hand.

“I can make lunches.” Charlie offered.

“Yeah and I can help Andrew with english.” Caleb added.

“I suppose I can give this one a bath.” Blaine replied as he picked Lucy up by her belly and flipped her upside down. She giggled and kicked her feet.

“Daddy! Put me down!” she screech through giggles.

“That takes care of tonight, but who is going to drive the kids to school tomorrow? Blaine, you have an meeting at the theater tomorrow.”

“I can do it!” Charlie immediately exclaimed. Instantly, Kurt and Blaine watched their other three children groan in protest. “What? I have my license. I can do it.”

“Papa, if you value any of our lives, you will not let her drive us.” Andrew pleaded. Kurt looked over at Blaine. They were kind of out of options. Caleb didn’t yet have his license. He wasn’t in a hurry to flee the nest, like his sister was. He took a little longer to practice and hadn’t taken his official drivers test yet.

“We kind of don’t have any other option.” Kurt told his children. “Charlie, my car key is on the counter in the kitchen.”

“Yes! Thanks Papa!” Charlie said before racing off into the kitchen. She came back a few seconds later with the key in her hand a huge smile on her face. “Charlotte Rose, I want you to look at me.” Charlie looked at her father. “You are carrying the most precious cargo in both mine and your father’s life. Do not do anything to damage it.”

“And by that, he means don’t scratch his car.” Blaine replied sarcastically.

“Blaine! I meant the children.” Kurt retorted.

“And now I take my leave. I shall also take this one.” he added before picking Lucy up and then running her towards the bathroom.

“Well, we should go do that english homework.” Caleb said as he put a hand on his brother’s back.

“Why? We’re gonna die before we even get to the school tomorrow.” Andrew said.

“Just in case there’s a miracle.” Caleb laughed.

“This is ridiculous! I’m a good driver!” Charlie exclaimed. “I’m the one who actually passed my test.”

“And I’m sure the crying that you did when you hit a cone parallel parking didn’t have anything to do with that.” Caleb retorted.

“Shut up! It was a stressful time!” Charlie yelled at her brother before storming off to her room. Then, Kurt was left on his own. Surprisingly, it was almost peaceful. It was quiet and he had total control over the tv remote. He didn’t have to make lunches or run bath water. He turned on the tv and found an episode of Project Runway. Maybe this broken ankle wouldn’t be that bad....

The next morning, Blaine helped Kurt hobble back into the living room and got him set up with the tv remote, his sketchbooks, a drink and his laptop. “If you need anything, feel free to call me.”

“Blaine, I have a broken ankle. I’m not crippled.” Kurt replied. “It’s not like I’ve never been on crutches before.”

“I know. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” Blaine replied.

“And that is why I love you so much.” Kurt replied as he motioned for his husband to come over. He grabbed Blaine’s bowtie and pulled him close enough to press a quick peck to his lips. “Now get going! Jerry at the theater isn’t going to wait all day.” he added with a quick slap to Blaine’s butt.

“Geez, those painkillers are making you a little frisky.” Blaine replied. Kurt gave him a wink and Blaine laughed before he left. Soon enough all four of the remaining Anderson-Hummel children filtered into the kitchen to eat breakfast before school. Caleb came in first and grabbed a pack of poptarts.

“Glad to see your picking something healthy for breakfast Caleb.” Kurt said from the living room.

“Oh, you know me Papa. Always the health nut.” he replied as he took another bite of his smores poptarts. Lucy came in next. She had her favorite stuffed lamb in her arms.

“Here Papa, you can have lamby for the day. She can keep you company.” Lucy told him as she extended the white stuffed lamb to her father.

“Oh honey, that’s so thoughtful.” Kurt said as he pulled his daughter in for a kiss. “Now go in the kitchen and Caleb will help you get some cereal before school.” The little girl nodded and skipped into the kitchen, her blonde ponytails swaying as she walked. Charlie came in next. She looked excited, no doubt it was about driving to school today. Last but not least was Andrew who walked down the hallway with a football helmet on his head. Kurt had to stifle a laugh when he saw him.

“Andrew bud, what are you wearing?”

“Trying not to get a brain injury when Charlie undoubtedly crashes the car today.” he replied. “The helmet should help reduce the impact and prevent me from getting any internal bleeding in my brain.” Kurt laughed. Andrew was such a smart 10 year old and recently he was very into medicine. He was telling anyone and everyone that one day he was going to be a doctor. Charlie however did not consider her brother as charming as Kurt did.

“You’re such a booger! Take it off.”

“No! I’m just trying not to die.” Andrew retorted.

“You are not wearing it in the car when I’m driving.”

“Guess I’m not going to school then.” the boy replied.

“Not an option.” Kurt said jumping in. “Honey, our car is pretty safe so I think you’ll be okay without the helmet.”

“You can never be too careful Papa.” Andrew replied. Charlie gave her father an exasperated look and threw her hands out in frustration.

“Let it go.” Kurt to his daughter. Charlie rolled her eyes and then grabbed the lunches that she had made the night before and put them on the counter.

“Okay, we’re leaving in 10 minutes.” Charlie told the rest of her siblings. They all looked at her with blank expressions on their faces. They were clearly so excited about their ride to school. When 10 minutes was up, each kid walked over to Kurt to say goodbye.

“Bye Papa.” Caleb and Charlie both said as they grabbed their backpacks.

“Bye Papa, I love you. I hope your ankle feels better.” Lucy replied sweetly. “Bye lamby!” she added giving her stuffed animal a kiss as well. Andrew was last. He walked over and gave Kurt a full on hug.

“Bye Papa, If is the last time we see each other, I want you to know, you were a great father.” he said.

“No one is dying. Get going before your sister leaves your butt behind.” Andrew sent his father a smile and then went out to the car.

“Please, don’t let anything happen to them...or to the car.” Kurt said to no one before he started working on some things for Vogue. When the kids got home later that afternoon, Kurt was sprawled out on the couch taking a nap. He heard whispers as all four kids came home, but kept his eyes clothed.

“No one better say anything. Got it?” Charlie hissed in a hushed tone.

“Do you honestly think Dad and Papa won’t notice?” Caleb replied.

“I’m going to tell them.” Charlie told her brother. “It was an accident.”

“It wouldn’t have been if you knew how to parallel park better…”

“Like you can do better!” Kurt decided that was the moment that he would let his children know he could hear everything they were saying.

“Who would like to tell me what happened?” he said, startling all four children.

“I’m not a part of this.” Andrew said. “Come on Luc.” The little girl followed her older brother down the hallway to their rooms.

“And then there were two. Spill. How bad is the damage?”

“So…” Charlie began. “When we got to school, there weren’t any spots in the parking lot. So I had to find street parking and parallel park…”

“And…” Kurt replied.

“When I went to pull in, I may have tapped the back bumper a little bit and there may be a dent.”

“Is is a big dent?” Kurt replied with a groan.

“It’s a medium sized dent.” Charlie confessed.

“That’s not all.” Caleb said quietly to which his sister sent him a death glare.

“What else?”

“Okay, well this part was not really my fault.” Charlie began. “Some asshole-”

“Language.” Kurt reprimanded.

“Some annoying person parked so close to me - both in the front and the back so when I tried to pull out, I had to wiggle out of the spot and I pulled forward a little too fast and dented the front too.”

“Give me the car key.” Kurt said immediately. Charlie walked up hesitantly and placed the key in her father’s hand.

“Are you gonna yell?”

“I’m trying to be calm. I suggest you go and think about what you’re going to tell your father when he gets home. I’d also think about ways to make up the money to pair for the damage to be repaired. It was a mistake, but you need to take responsibility for your actions.” Caleb sent his sister a smirk.

“Fair enough.”

“Oh and Caleb, don’t laugh just yet. Until your sister can prove that she can parallel park without denting the car, you get to drive her where she has to go. Once you pass your test of course. I happen to know that you are a great parallel parker so it shouldn't be a problem.”

“Papa! That’s not fair.”

“Life’s not fair kid.” Kurt shot back. Both teenagers went off to their bedrooms and Kurt let out a sigh. If he hadn’t broken his stupid ankle, their car wouldn’t be dented in both the front and the back. He knew for sure that he wouldn’t be handing the car key to either one of his teenagers anytime soon, even if that meant that he had to learn to drive with his left foot until his right was healed.

[asfeedin]

How Phil Jackson is influencing today’s NBA coaches

THREE DAYS HAD passed since Doc Rivers watched the first two episodes of “The Last Dance,” and he couldn’t get the predicament former Chicago Bulls coach Phil Jackson faced during that 1997-98 season out of his head.

“Can you imagine?” Rivers asked on the twice-weekly Zoom call he has been having with his LA Clippers coaching staff since the NBA season was postponed on March 11. “Can you imagine being told before the year that you’re going to get fired?”

As the 10-part docuseries details, the Bulls had just won back-to-back championships, and their fifth championship in seven years, but general manager Jerry Krause had decided that no matter what the team did that season, it was time to rebuild — and Jackson wouldn’t be the head coach.

“Can you imagine having the right mindset to teach?” Rivers lamented. “To get guys to buy into their role and do the right thing? I can’t even imagine the patience and serenity he had to have to be able to do that.”

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Rivers has been thinking about Jackson a lot in recent days. He watched “The Last Dance.” Then he rewatched the battles his Boston Celtics had with Jackson’s Los Angeles Lakers in the 2008 and 2010 NBA Finals, when they re-aired on ESPN last week. And it made him realize he hasn’t connected with the Hall of Fame coach in a while.

“You’re making me want to call him,” Rivers said.

At first glance, Rivers and Jackson would seem to be longtime rivals. But Rivers said they used to talk on the phone and text a fair amount, coach to coach, about all sorts of things. A few years ago, Rivers even invited Jackson to speak at a clinic he was hosting at the Clippers’ practice facility, and Jackson accepted without hesitation.

“We had a good relationship,” Rivers said. “It’s funny, no one has a great one unless you’re in his circle, but we had a good one.”

For a coach of his stature, Jackson’s circle has always seemed relatively small. Only a few of his former players — Steve Kerr and Luke Walton — are current head coaches in the NBA. Most of his coaching contemporaries were too consumed with trying to beat the man who won 11 titles in his 20 years on the bench, to befriend him. Front-office executives were mostly annoyed he thought he would succeed in that type of role, without doing it the way they did.

So when Jackson retired from coaching in 2011, and stepped down after an unsuccessful run as president of the New York Knicks in 2017, there wasn’t a loud chorus singing his praises. If anything, there was a loud chorus airing out three decades of gripes and jealousies.

Those who found him aloof or arrogant while he was on top of the NBA world almost seemed to delight in seeing his triangle offense belittled by analytics wonks and pace-and-space devotees.

Those who ascribed his success to the good fortune of coaching all-time greats like Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal, loved to point out how poorly squabbles with Carmelo Anthony and Kristaps Porzingis turned out.

This is a familiar comeuppance for those who have succeeded at the highest level. Those you beat on your way to the top exact their revenge once you’ve been humbled. It was to be expected, and yet Jackson has done little to quiet or combat those who would besmirch his reputation.

He has made few public appearances and given even fewer interviews since he retired to his home in Montana. Even his previously engaging Twitter feed has gone quiet — last posting an article about meditation in June 2018.

And he has politely declined interview requests regarding “The Last Dance,” as he already said quite a bit in a four-hour interview for the project.

But that’s only the public side of things. Because as Rivers and a select group of current NBA coaches have found out, Jackson still has a lot to say about basketball — if the right person is asking the question.

“The man won 11 championships. Do I have that correct?” Rivers said. “Anybody that wins 11 championships should be celebrated every day. But I think because Phil was a loner in a lot of ways, a lot of people felt like he didn’t spend time with other coaches and all that stuff.

“If you asked him, he would, though.”

THERE IS NO secret code word. No special name for the growing group of coaches who have reached out and sought mentoring or advice from Jackson. There’s not even an obvious connection between them.

Rivers knew Jackson from coaching against him and through Tyronn Lue, who’d played for Jackson. Philadelphia 76ers coach Brett Brown was introduced via Luc Longley and Coby Karl, both of whom played for Jackson. Chicago Bulls coach Jim Boylen asked his owner, Jerry Reinsdorf, and Jackson’s former player John Paxson for an introduction. Toronto Raptors head coach Nick Nurse asked Alex McKechnie, his vice president of player health and performance, who’d worked with Jackson in Los Angeles. Lakers coach Frank Vogel got to know him through former Jackson assistant Brian Shaw. Dallas Mavericks head coach Rick Carlisle just knows everyone as president of the NBA Coaches Association.

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What they all have in common is a desire to learn from the man they consider one of the greatest coaches of all time.

“I’ve always studied and admired his approach,” Vogel said. “I consider him the GOAT of NBA coaches.”

“Phil’s a great example of handling whatever comes his way,” Rivers said. “We all want the calm, and he dealt in the calm very well. But he also dealt with the storms extremely well. He got personalities and people to work together.”

Whatever rivalries Jackson might have had during his coaching career have been quickly cast aside.

“My Spurs world was very competitive with his,” Brown said. “So the opportunity to seek higher counsel was very much appreciated.”

And when coaches get on the phone with Jackson, or go to see him at his home in Montana, he is not always what they pictured.

“There’s this perception of him as the Zen Master,” Boylen said. “No. He’s a basketball junkie. He’s a diehard hooper. That’s what I loved about him.”

There is one thing each coach who has made the effort to get to know Jackson seems to say afterward, however.

The time they spent with him was their time. Whatever they got from that time remains between them.

“I’m not trying to spill the beans on everything we did,” Nurse said. “But it was awesome. It was really awesome.”

NURSE WASN’T SURE what to expect when he reached out to Jackson in the summer of 2018, a few weeks after he was named coach of the Raptors.

He’d studied Jackson for years. As a young coach at Grand View University in Des Moines, Iowa, in the early 1990s, Nurse would often drive to Chicago, buy a standing room-only ticket to watch Jackson’s Bulls, then drive the five hours back to Des Moines after the game. When he coached in England in the late 1990s, Nurse would order Bulls videotapes and study Jackson’s offense — Nurse’s teams ran the triangle then — his rotations, his adjustments, even his sideline demeanor.

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So when McKechnie offered to arrange a meeting with Jackson, Nurse couldn’t resist.

He’d already met with former Chicago Cubs manager Joe Maddon, Los Angeles Rams coach Sean McVay and Clemson football coach Dabo Swinney to get advice before embarking on his first NBA head-coaching job. But meeting Jackson would be different. The Zen Master invited him to his house in Montana — for three days.

“I didn’t know if I was going to go out there for a cup of coffee with him and that’s it,” Nurse said. “But I figured if that happened, I’d just take a few days [in Montana] to myself, to relax.”

That cup of coffee turned into a three-day coaching retreat. They drove around in Jackson’s truck, watched film together and broke down plays on a whiteboard.

Nurse couldn’t believe what was happening. He was nerding out with the coach he’d studied and admired for years.

“It was fun, because he was testing my knowledge of basketball a bit, too,” Nurse said. “He’d be telling a story and say, ‘That red-headed kid’ and stop and see if I could fill in the blanks.

“Fortunately I’m enough of a historian — or a geek — to know. So I’d say, ‘Yeah, that was Matt Bonner’ or whatever. And I could tell he liked that.”

Boylen said he even studied before he went to visit Jackson in Montana.

“I think he researches people before they come. Because he knew some stuff about me — like, ‘I know you coach guys hard. … You’re a defensive-minded guy,'” Boylen said. “So I was prepared, too. I had notes, copies of rosters, personnel, coaches he’d hired. I read his books.”

Like Nurse, Boylen had no idea how much time Jackson would spend with him. They had plans for lunch at a local cafe and that’s it.

“I think the place closed at 3, and we left at 5,” he said. “Then we had dinner at this place that closed at 9, and we stayed until 10.”

The next morning he stopped by the bakery and had them make a quiche he could bring over to Jackson’s house for lunch.

“It was one of the coolest things I’ve ever done,” Boylen said.

Throughout his two seasons in Chicago, Boylen says he has received frequent texts and emails from Jackson. At one point, Boylen asked him to watch the Bulls and offer critiques and suggestions. Jackson watched a few games, then sent a detailed note breaking down the team’s offense and suggesting some plays from the pinch-post that might unlock things.

“He confirmed some things that I believe in, which made me feel good, because he’s the best coach ever,” Boylen said. “But he also opened my mind up to some things, too.”

Jackson’s not sure what to call the relationships he has built with this group of NBA coaches either. Mentoring isn’t quite the right term. That feels too formal for what’s more like two coaches talking about the game they love.

But the coaches who’ve spent a couple days with Jackson, in Montana or Los Angeles, say it has had a huge effect on them.

“Phil is a longtime trusted friend,” Mavericks coach Rick Carlisle said. “I talk basketball at length with him two or three times a year. He’s a great resource and has been extremely generous with his time and knowledge to all coaches.”

THE MEETING STARTED at the Ritz-Carlton Marina Del Rey in California, far away from the prying eyes and microphones of the New York City media looking for any sign of whom Jackson was interviewing to be the next Knicks coach.

Vogel had looked up to Jackson for years and had even hired Shaw — one of Jackson’s top assistants with the Lakers — on his staff with the Indiana Pacers.

“Literally, for those two years that I had Brian,” Vogel said, “every decision that came up, I was like, ‘How’d you guys do it in L.A.? What would Phil do here? How did Phil travel with the team? Did he allow people’s guests to come on a plane? What was his morning shootaround routine?'”

But he’d spoken to Jackson only once, for about five minutes when he scouted for the Lakers in 2006, before he flew out to Los Angeles to interview for the Knicks job.

He was nervous but excited.

The interview began at the hotel, then continued to dinner at a small pizza restaurant in Venice that Vogel is still trying to find his way back to. The next morning they had breakfast and spent five to six more hours on a whiteboard.

“We talked about everything,” Vogel said. “From life to our families to coaching, X’s and O’s on the court and offensive systems, whether it’s a triangle or another system, defensive coverages.”

Although he didn’t get the job, it was two days he’ll never forget.

“I was raised in the Bobby Knight era of coaches,” Vogel said. “You know, MF-this. MF-that. And Phil never did that. I just felt like his approach was — and I’m by no means a Zen guy — but the calm mental adjustment is something that I try to always carry with any conflict or any adversity my team faces.

“I always admired that approach, letting guys play in. Not bailing teams with timeouts, letting them play through things, figure things out themselves.”

That calm demeanor under pressure is something that sticks out for Sacramento Kings coach Luke Walton, who played for the Lakers from 2003 to ’11.

“One of the main things that I try to take with me, from what Phil has taught,” Walton said, “is training yourself and your players to always try to be able to stay level-headed throughout and not get too emotionally high or too emotionally low.

“He would talk about The Peaceful Warrior, and say, that’s where you’re at your most dangerous, if you can stay in that area.”

LIKE MOST OF the players on the 1997-98 Bulls who were interviewed for “The Last Dance,” Kerr was sent links to preview the docuseries a few weeks ago.

Thus far, he has resisted the temptation to binge watch. He lived through all the drama, so watching it all again is a bit surreal.

Star forward Scottie Pippen was upset about his contract and missed the first few months of the 1997-98 season to have foot surgery as a sort of protest. Jordan publicly declared he wouldn’t play for any coach but Jackson, who management had already announced wouldn’t be back the following season. Mercurial forward Dennis Rodman wasn’t under contract for the following season either.

At one point, Pippen was so upset with Bulls management, he asked for a trade and vowed not to play for the Bulls again. Somehow Jackson coaxed all of that back together, into another championship run.

“That was my favorite part of the first episodes,” Kerr said. “How Phil connected to Scottie, and made sure Scottie was connected to us as a group by saying, ‘We’re going to sacrifice the early part of the season. But we have to bring him into the fold. He’s one of our guys. We’ve got to back him up on this.’

“No other coach would say what Phil said.”

Jackson often talked to Pippen about his anger during that season. He wanted him to feel safe expressing that to him and hoped the trust he earned would eventually bring Pippen back around to fighting alongside his teammates, rather than against management.

With Rodman, Jackson had to take a different tack.

He brought in Jack Haley to be his de facto handler. He brought in a therapist to talk to him weekly, which often happened at the Taco John’s or some fast food place in the mall. He made a deal with Rodman that he didn’t have to be at the arena an hour and a half before games like the other players — he could show up an hour beforehand — but if he was late he’d be fined. And then he told the rest of the team about the deal he’d made, to make sure they saw it as pragmatism, not favoritism.

“It didn’t bother us,” Kerr said. “It wasn’t like some rookie who thought he was better than everybody else. This was Dennis Rodman. He was a great player but a complex person. And so we understood that Phil had a big job on his hands.”

Kerr also remembers a meeting in which Jackson showed video of Rodman’s acceptance speech when he was named NBA Defensive Player of the Year in 1990 as a member of the Detroit Pistons.

“Dennis was crying during the press conference, talking about how much it meant to him,” Kerr said.

“And the reason Phil showed us that with Dennis sitting there, at least my read, was he wanted us to know even though Dennis was late and then getting kicked out and suspended and whatever. He wanted us to know how much Dennis cared.

“And he wanted Dennis to know that we all cared about him, too.”

KERR HASN’T TALKED to Jackson as much this season as he has in the past. Like Rivers, watching “The Last Dance” has made Kerr want to reach out again.

“I sent him an email this morning,” Kerr said, when reached Saturday afternoon. “I should go check to see if he’s written back yet.”

He doesn’t worry about his old coach’s feelings or whether his reputation has been bruised in recent years.

“I think he’s fine,” Kerr said. “Phil was always so comfortable in his own skin.”

They talked often when Kerr was making the transition from broadcaster to coach in 2014. Over the years, Kerr had kept a book full of his beliefs about basketball and coaching. If he ever led a team, this was the book he wanted to bring to life.

Jackson told him that’s what he had done as a young coach, too: figure out what you believe in, then find a way to translate that to a team.

“We talked a lot about the triangle,” Kerr said. “He had searched for an offense for many years that would tie together with his philosophy.

“I had never heard anybody say something like that before. The triangle was not just an offense to run, it was part of a whole philosophy of teamwork and connectivity. And I totally felt it when I was playing there. I never felt more important as a player than I did in Chicago.”

Kerr wanted to bring that to his team, when he became a head coach. To find a philosophy, a mantra, a system, that made every player on the team feel as important as Jackson had made him feel as a reserve for the Bulls.

“For me,” Kerr said. “That was ‘Strength in Numbers.'”

The night before his first training camp with the Golden State Warriors, he showed his new team a video.

“I had Marv Albert narrate,” Kerr said, laughing at the memory. “I had a lot of movie references, movie clips and humor. All these things that Phil did.”

He wasn’t going to run the triangle, but, “I wanted that same philosophy of everybody being valued, everybody touching the ball. Everybody being empowered. That was so powerful to me as a player. And all that came from Phil.”

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[geekade]

Zwia Reviews: Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets a.k.a. Valerian and the Eyebrows that are more Interesting than Most of the Movie

Valerian… oh boy… Let's get into a quick little history lesson here people. Don’t worry, it’ll be fun and YES it is important to the review. Oh, but first, because I love to sum up my feelings of the movie early just in case you’re pressed for time, YES this movie is neat LOOKING. NO it isn’t very “good.” It’s watchable, but make sure the lights are on and you aren’t laying down.

ANYWAY, HISTORY!!!! Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is based on the the French comic Valerian and Laureline. This comic started in the late 1960’s, is a crazy sci-fi sort of space opera with time travel and multidimensional stuff… ANDDDDD helped inspire little movies like The Fifth Element and STAR-FUCKING-WARS. So this comic is kind of a big fucking deal. Now, the reason this is important to bring up is that Valerian probably would be a much more impressive movie if so much that made it impressive wasn’t already ingrained into pop culture about 40 years ago thanks to Star Wars. Basically, Valerian does a bunch of cool stuff, but it's all old and unimpressive by today’s standards because it's all been done before, and done better. In Star Wars. For example, you know how Ghost in the Shell’s original story brought up the whole questions of identity and humanity and what that means for robots and AI… but then those ideas inspired things like The Matrix that took it further and when Ghost in the Shell finally made a mainstream live-action movie, it basically got beaten to the punch by it’s own idea child? Yeah, we basically have that with Valerian.

The creatures, the potentially untrustworthy government, the space battles… its nice but nothing super special. Even the designs of many of the suits are all very Star Wars-esque. Which again, is sad, because if anything, Star Wars should be in Valerian's shadow. But that’s not even its biggest problem. I mean The Force Awakens is just A New Hope-Super HD Edition, but I enjoy that just fine. No, Valerian’s biggest problem is its actors and script. Dane DeHaan plays Valerian and Cara Delevingne plays Laureline, the two main characters. I made sure to put an eyebrow joke in the title of this review, so you’re not getting any more. I’m sorry. I need to keep this at least somewhat classy... 

But Holy shit the two of them, if they had a kid, that kid would have the most damn distinct eyebrows ever. You could see them from space. He’d never need a visor because the eyebrows alone would protect his eyes. He would need to make sure he only washed them once a week because they would take forever to dry. Moving on… so I LOVE these two. I cannot explain why, but these two actors I just can’t help but root for. It might be because I’ve followed their careers pretty closely and yet have never REALLY fully enjoyed a single movie either have been in. Admittedly, I’ve yet to see A Cure for Wellness, so there is still hope, but GOSH I just feel like they both get cast in such shit movies. The streak continues with Valerain, and most of the fault is with these two. They are both… not fantastic in this movie. I can’t really describe it easily but the best I can come up with is that their acting is like… they are trying to always remain cool and calm and collected the entire movie, but they do it very dramatically. Like, if you really like a person and you’re trying to talk to them but you’re trying really hard to act like it’s not a big deal and it's kinda over-emphasizing how not a big deal you’re making it… which of course is making it a super obvious big fucking deal??? Yeah, that’s them. THE ENTIRE MOVIE.

Even when one of them appears to be dead, the other is all like “Get up” But calmly… but still not? Also, they sound like every line of theirs was dubbed over in post… like the ENTIRE movie. Now, to get further into my problems with them, I have to delve into the OTHER major flaw in the movie… THE SCRIPT. Damn this movie is poorly written. For starters, when it comes to our leads, I’m still pretty unsure if they were terrible because the acting was bad or just the writing for them was so bad it made the acting seem bad. There’s really no way to know for sure. But someone fucked up somewhere. And these leads??? Let me sum up EVERYTHING they say the entire movie (Don’t worry, I won’t spoil anything here) Movie starts: Main actors talk about each other, summarizing exactly who they are and what their personalities are supposed to be so that the audience knows. No really, the first two minutes of these two is them walking around a spaceship telling us EXACTLY who they are. Thanks. Then the rest of the movie is either action scene after action scene OR the two main characters alone with each other in which cases it's Valerian being all “Hey, Laureline, we both dig each other. We should get married.” Responded by Laureline “No way. You have commitment issues”  Over. And over. And over. Come on guys! This can’t be all your characters have to offer!!! PLEASEEEEE have more substance than this!!! There IS a small piece of character growth for both… but it’s very small and results in literally a single conversation between the two of them that changes both of their minds on two small things. But that’s all we get. Otherwise the characters you got in the beginning… same ones you're getting in the end.

Oh, and while we’re on the script of endless pointless action scenes interrupted by creeper trying to marry his partner, let's talk about the villain. The villain of the movie is supposed to be a big reveal towards the end of the movie. I’m not going to tell you who it is. But the minute you see him, you’ll have figured out the big reveal. Awesome job movie. Totally saw every plot point coming from like a mile away. Thanks. God damn. Also, pretty much EVERY plot point ever gets explained directly to the camera… even though you could already see it so you KNEW already… except one thing at the end. The thing that makes NO DAMN SENSE and I NEEDED it explained… but oh NOW you’re gonna let us figure it out for ourselves???? Fuck you, movie and you’re indecisive exposition. Fuck you! (What, there are kids reading this? Nonsense, no one ACTUALLY reads my reviews. You cray-cray) This pisses me off. You have to understand. I LOVE The Fifth Element, and Luc Besson made The Fifth Element BECAUSE he couldn’t make Valerian and Laureline at the time. THIS is pretty much his life’s goal and… it’s just so damn disappointing. It's gorgeous, don’t get me wrong, and I’m not saying it doesn't still have really neat original ideas, because it totally does! The beginning of the movie has a whole chase scene that spans multiple dimensions and I thought it was the COOLEST THING!!!! But THAT level of creativity disappears pretty damn quickly and becomes nothing but a terribly acted, predictable slog of a movie. Amazing atmosphere, and some really cool stuff and characters… but we never get to focus on the cool characters or places. There’s this whole giant epic space station, and we’re stuck in basically the sewers of it… with the eyebrow patrol. Meanwhile, we get teased with these crafty information merchant goblin things, and Rihanna’s character Bubble, who was both more interesting and way better portrayed, (Seriously, Rihanna did the best performance of the entire movie) but we only see them for at best a handful of minutes. I guess I just expected more. Something more interesting or fun, and I just got… i don't know. But I know there is way more to the Valerian franchise, so while I can’t suggest you see this movie I DO hope it does well enough for further installments. I’d still like to see Dane and Cara, I’d still like to see this universe, and I’d still like to see what COULD be around the corner (Please some damn time travel stories) So yeah, I can’t with a clear conscience suggest this movie to you. Take a chance on Dunkirk or Baby Driver instead. But I also wouldn’t mind this movie making enough to warrant a sequel. I think he future of the Valerian universe has enough to offer, and I certainly would like to see Luc, Cara, and Dane get a win for once. They try so hard.

[brucebeatty-blog]

Dibs On That: Money

 A small, rural autarkic community has no need for money. Typically, each family is largely self-sufficient, producing nearly everything it consumes. The local weekly market may offer some variety of pickled or dried foodstuffs, baskets and pottery, usually for barter, not cash. If there is a nearby village there will probably be a bit more specialization: a miller, cobbler, cooper and smithy, all of whom mistrust the value of a coin and are especially wary of any paper promise.

 Probably that community cannot afford the stuff called “money.” It requires a lot of effort, after all, to mine gold or silver, neither of which serves any useful purpose in our little hamlet. Then that metal must be refined, weighed, cast or stamped (doesn’t that guy have something better to do?) and - here’s the rub – acknowledged by most market participants to be of some particular value. This last stipulation may be the most difficult (expensive) to achieve. Americans do not ordinarily use Bolivian bolivianos or Czech korunas at the local farmers’ market simply because most of us would be unable to distinguish genuine from counterfeit notes and have no notion of their purchasing power. Moreover, the value of a monetary unit must be relatively stable for it to serve as a unit of account – a way to “keep score” over time.

 As trade becomes more frequent, inter-temporal and geographically dispersed, money becomes more important. The amount of specialization and trade required to produce an automobile, for example, probably could not be accomplished in a purely barter economy. Open heart surgery is not the forte of a local shaman. It requires extensive cooperation among thousands or millions of suppliers of intermediate factors of production. Cooperation among a small number of villagers to build a bridge over a small stream seems feasible but becomes more difficult if the objective is to produce a cure for polio, when the number of contributors is large and information about them is lacking. The required level of cooperation can be accomplished more easily in a monetary economy.

 Consider an individual in possession of wheat who wants some beef. He knows a fellow willing to trade his corn for the wheat and another acquaintance is happy to exchange some chickens for some corn. Finally, he knows a guy who knows a guy who will trade some beef for chicken. Our original wheat producer must know the exchange value of his wheat for corn, the exchange rate of corn for chickens and finally the price of beef in terms of chickens. Where can he obtain all than information? The sequential negotiations with the other three producers are likely to be time consuming and stressful – that is, have high transactions costs. The imposition of these costs may kill the deal before it ever starts. On the other hand, a money economy is likely to obviate all intermediate trades, eliminating some of the transactions costs.

 The primary function of money is to be a medium of indirect exchange, obviating the improbable coincidence of wants required by barter. It is a go-between or catalyst which facilitates trade. In the absence of money people would have to barter real goods for real goods and the cost in time and effort – the “transactions costs” -  of trading would be very high.

 Whereas barter is essentially atemporal, all monetary transactions are inter-temporal.  Sellers of goods and services take money – “long” positions with more risk - while buyers take immediate possession of real goods - “short,” less risky positions in the marketplace. At the end of a trade someone must end up with money, not goods, and to the extent other members of society have adopted this idea of a money economy, they have become creditors to the rest of society. Your money is my debt. The creation of a monetary framework has made possible a futures market, enabled trust and trade between strangers and avoided the encumbrance of written contracts, especially valuable to a population with limited rates of literacy.

 A barter economy would be virtually devoid of specialization and exchange and most households would be constrained to both producing and consuming without the benefits of trade. It would likely be an economy without automobiles, television or penicillin. Robinson Crusoe and Friday consumed only what they were able to produce by themselves and they were poor. Being self-sufficient is highly over-rated.

 There are many brands of money, such as dollars, pesos and yen. As the use of a particular brand of money increases, that money becomes more useful to others. There are positive synergies, complementary externalities akin to those observed with certain packages of software. For example, the more my friends and colleagues use Microsoft Office Excel and Word, the more useful that computer software is to me because we can read and use each other’s works. Positive externalities lead to natural monopolies, so we see few real competitors to Microsoft Office. Similarly, as the proliferation of Visa Cards increases, the greater the likelihood my Visa Card will be accepted at a given market.

 As the U.S. dollar becomes more widely used the more useful it becomes. The prices of many internationally-traded commodities, such as oil, copper and sugar, are denominated mainly in dollars, incentivizing use of the dollar as a reserve currency and thrusting the United States into the enviable role of being the world’s banker.

 Acceptance and use of any particular money is attended by a system of property rights, beginning with the prohibition and criminalization of forgery and the obligation of the issuer of a currency to honor its redemption. When a government creates money it presumably is issuing the most liquid asset available in the economy. Its value must be unquestionable and acceptance universal. The U.S. government is absolutely required to accept U.S. dollars in payment of taxes and is constitutionally prohibited from defaulting on its debts. So too, a demand deposit, that is, checking account at a specific bank must be that bank’s most senior liability, the debt that is always paid first. In finance this is referred to as the first tranche, literally the first slice of the bank’s assets.

 Money is a system of property rights, largely implicit, facilitating inter-temporal exchange. It is expensive to produce; unnecessary in a simple economy with little specialization and trade and essential to an economy with a great deal of specialization and trade. In a monetary economy, the transactions costs of barter must be greater than the costs of producing, holding and using money. To regard money as a “thing” is a reification, or what Alfred North Whitehead would call the objectification of an idea.[1]

 From the inception of the First U.S. Bank, 1792, until 1973, except for the Civil War era, the U.S. dollar was based on the commodities gold and silver. After 1973 ties to a metallic standard were gradually severed and today the dollar is a fiat currency – money simply by government decree. It is not backed by and cannot be redeemed for anything, nor is there any guarantee about its present or future purchasing power. There is a message imprinted on the face of U.S. currency (not coins!) which states, “This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private.” It is a legal “offering” to pay any debt, regardless of how else the obligation is specified. If you and I have a contract specifying that I owe you an ounce of gold but push comes to shove, a court will convert that ounce into dollars.

The bulk of modern money has no physical component, existing only as electronic entries on balance sheets, dependent upon the reputation of the monetary authority for maintaining price stability. All major currencies in the world today, including the Chinese renminbi, European euro and Russian ruble are fiat.

 Does our present fiat dollar-denominated system work? The experiment is only fifty years old, so it is a bit early to know if it is a success. In that fifty years, we have had two major bank crises: the savings and loan crisis of the 1980s in which nearly a third of the nation’s S&Ls had to be bailed-out by the government; and the Great Recession of2007-2011 resulting in an estimated output loss of 31% of trend GDP.[2] In contrast, our northern neighbor, Canada, with similar institutions and culture, has not experienced a single monetary or banking crisis during that same period.

 Governments have enormous appetites for spending money but are loath to incur the wrath of voters by increasing taxes. Today, most major countries have resorted to heavy borrowing and the printing of money to finance government expenditures. A very large government debt creates an incentive for that government to quietly default though inflation. Doubling the quantity of money, ceterus paribus, leads to a doubling of the price level, so each dollar of indebtedness is only half as burdensome. Of course, if you have purchased government bonds you have been swindled out of half of their value. Most post-industrial nations have recently incurred unsustainable level of debt, leading to credible expectations of future inflation.

      [1] Whitehead, Alfred North (1925) Science and the Modern World, Simon and Schuster, p. 51.

[2] Laeven, Luc and Fabian Valencia (2012) “Systematic Banking Crises Database: An Update.” International

  Monetary Fund Working Paper 12/163, p. 26.

[daydreambts]

“Oh..uhm I didn’t realize that, I’m sorry....I wasn’t trying to be...nevermind I’m really sorry for being disrespectful” I fumbled out, stepping closer to where I had dropped my stuff. “We’ll need to meet at the cafe on campus....tomorrow, I-I don’t have a long enough break to come back to the library” I said not making eye contact, feeling that familiar sense of anxiety set in. I hurried to get out of the studio as quickly as possible, stumbling at the door for a second. I turned around to see Jimin occupied, “I really didn’t know I was being mean”. I didn’t want to be the person going around being disrespectful and hurtful, I couldn’t become someone I had just ran way from.

Within all of the bustle of the cafe, behind the counter me and Lucas, my coworker had our own commentary to entertain us. He was also an international applicant, in the Chemistry Department. “Lucas what do you think table six there is saying?” I prompted while preparing orders, while he responded with another one of his dramatic re-enactments of the same. Laughing out loud, I bumped my shoulder with his trying to signal that another customer had come up. “Luc I’ll take my break right now” I said kissing his cheek, seeing Jimin had been the one to approach the counter. Adding an mocha latte to my tab, and his coffee I made my way to where he had settled on a table in the back. I didn’t want to be rude to him, I cared way too much for some reason to be unkind. “Here you go...we just have to generalise to a target population today and I have the psychology part of the survey questions ready....Uhm your pencil is really cool” I announced quietly setting his coffee in front of him. Not having built the nerve to look up at him properly, I cringed internally I had to be civil not offer third grade compliments. 🦄

•━»•»🌸«•«━━━━━━━━•••

Jimin watched as you left the dance room, sighing. It was clear to him that he had hit a nerve and how sorry and bothered you were. He hadn't mean to make you feel bad, despite his blunt words. He simply thought it was better for you to be aware before you offended another peer, or worse, a senior or an elder.

As Jimin placed his order, he noticed your affectionate gesture to your coworking; he didn't react though, figuring out it was your boyfriend. He took a seat as he waited for you and brought up the relevant files on his tablet. "Thank you," he said, as you handed his coffee. He handed you his tablet to read, as he explained, "We can easily find participants for the study within the university and also the partner universities. We can of course diversify and increase the sample size by using the services of a study lab. It will make the data much more reliable, and I think we can trust the professors to not inflate our grade just because we have access to resources the other students didn't..." his words trailed off as he noticed your unease. "You don't have to walk on eggshells around me. Even I--I mean, people who have been trained to observe formalities all the time get tired of it," he said, uncharacteristically candid for once. "I know what your intentions now, so I'm not going to hold our previous interactions against you. I... hope you wouldn't be so uncomfortable either." He didn't know why he was taking such extra care to be gentle with you, but he did know he would rather you return to being the cheerier person he had first encountered.