#of this one workbook we fucking HATE

[jjcocker]

i wanana draw ........ But so many things at once .......

[tvhsleb3ww]

LOVE IS NOT OVER! - OIKAWA TOORU

yeah i used a bts song as the title bc i ran out of ideas 🥴

summary, your blind date is your ex boyfriend from high school!?

minor swearing, praise (cute, hot, sexy), depression, heartbreak, tooru being dumb

read part 2 here!

now, there were plenty of beautiful women in Tokyo. millions! but why oh why did the universe hate him so much to the point they sent you as his blind date.

that's right. you. his ex. his first love, his high school sweetheart, his best friend and the same girl who stole his heart and stomped on it until it broke into a million pieces. it was simply unbelievable.

you turned him into a depressed man after you broke up with him because you thought it was better to go seperate ways. okay, maybe it was for the better because now he's a superstar volleyball player and now you're doing whatever. and he's one hundred percent sure that you're succeeding in whatever the hell you're doing because holy fuck do you look like a goddess right now.

of course, dating his ex was not written on his workbook. he never would go back to his exes. that he can swear he'd never do but right now he's starting to contemplate whatever mindset he has going on. in full honesty, he's still bitter and upset at you for dumping him due to stupid reasons. it has been years since you last saw each other.

Third Year of High School

" you're not even giving me a chance here! "

his voice broke as tears welled up in his eyes. his hands holding onto yours as he intertwined his fingers with yours. his lips remain a frown as he looked at you. you sighed and remain your gaze on him.

" tooru, it's not that like that "

he clicked his tongue at your words. bullshit. that's all he thinks right now. he lets go of his grip on your hands as he looked at you with glassy eyes. he bites down his bottom lip to control himself from actually breaking down in front of you.

" so, you're gonna give up on us? "

his question remains unanswered as you stayed quiet. he sighed, looks like he got his answer. you sighed and crossed your arms. you couldn't bare to look at him right now in his vulnerable state. you feel like you just got shot by a million arrows from how bad you're hurting him.

" i just think it's better if we go on our seperate ways"

back to the present, he didn't expect you. first of all, he didn't even want to go on this stupid blind date in the first place but his awful yet amazing friends kept pestering him to do this. saying that "you're too obsessed with volleyball get a life", blah blah blah. he just rolled his eyes to their statement but he still went.

so, it wasn't his friends' fault for setting him up with his ex. or is it?

both of you sat in silence for a whole minute inside the busy yet quiet café. both of you had ordered your drinks and tooru swears that his matcha latte is almost finished from how often he kept sipping it.

he quickly clears his throat before finally saying something.

"long time no see"

okay that did not sound as badass as he thought it was gonna be. it kinda sounded corny. he took a second to cringe at himself before looking at you. god, he wanted to curse the heavens because how dare they make him hate this amazing woman!?

from head to toe you're perfect. tooru would fight anyone who says the opposite. you got so much prettier in the last couple of years too. your hair, your eyes, your lips, your face, your ass-

that was a little overboard, he thought. he's not supposed to be thinking this! you broke his heart and he hates you!

" yeah, you look great "

god, he wanted to melt on the spot. the same voice that haunted his dreams for years. still so sweet and so good to listen to. he looks great? woah! does that mean you're complimenting him? what is great? his physique? his personality? he had to bite his bottom lip to cover his smile and remain his scowl.

" pfft- i know "

you rolled your eyes at his words. ah, tooru always as smug as he can be. but he did in fact looked great, he looked healthy and more muscular. indeed, seperation was better for both of you. of course you knew about his growth in the volleyball world, he was the talk of the year. based on the scowl on his face, you're sure he's still being petty about what happened between the two of you.

" i see that your ego is still bigger than your ass "

he gasped at that statement. his eyes narrowed down at you as he crossed his toned arms. he's gotten tan too from the Argentina sun. it's a good look on him, not gonna lie.

" at least, i didn't leave people at their lowest points "

touché but it was a terrible comeback. tooru has always been horrible at comebacks. it did however managed to shaken things up a little bit. you clicked your tongue and rolled her eyes. same old petty tooru.

" i'm sorry, alright? that was a long time ago "

" you don't seem sorry "

" at least i'm apologizing "

" yeah but years after that- "

you groaned loudly making him snicker. he always enjoyed driving you crazy. to him, it was cute to see you all fired up and he just likes to piss people off in general. he leans back on his chair as his gaze remains on you.

" so quickly agitated, (y/n) "

he commented making you huff and roll your eyes.

" you're still as annoying as you'll ever be "

" annoyingly hot you mean "

" maybe because you came from hell "

his smug grin falters and drops at your comeback. he scowls and huffs at your now smug expression. this interaction was gonna be interesting. you just wiggled your eyebrows at him to piss him off even further.

ugh, he hates you. he hates how sassy and teasing you can get. he hates the fact that he finds it cute and sexy at the same time. why is it so sexy when you put him in his place!?

he clears his throat again after a minute of whole silence.

" you know, i hate you right "

you sighed softly and rolled your eyes for what seems about the nth time now.

" and it's completely my fault, i know "

he wanted to say yeah it is. you're to blame for the heartbreak pain he felt for years.

after he flew away to Argentina, he couldn't sleep at night wondering about you, he devoted himself fully to his career because he didn't want to think about you, he tried going out with other women but they all just weren't you.

but right now, it's as if he wanted to push that ego away and forget everything that has happened in the past couple years and just grab your face and kiss you with everything he's got.

and he's not leaving this date until he does exactly that.

[queenjunothegreat]

The Ao3 Team is throwing an Anniversary Challenge, and as someone who LOVES Ao3, I for sure wanted to be part of the party, so here's my addition! No promises that I'll do all fifteen days, but I plan to do at least a few! So, enjoy the flash fics!

So, here's my day one contribution: A-F-A-B-E-L

“So, tell me why are we torturing ourselves by learning Spanish in our free time?” Piper scoffed. “I could be surfing right now. Do you know how good October is for surfing? Oh! Or I could pay someone to remove my fingernails one by one with a pair of rusty pliers. That sounds more fun than this.” Jason chuckled softly at her dramatics. “Well, I’m doing it because I want to ask my boyfriend to prom. Pretty sure you’re doing it to impress cute girls. Well, one cute girl.” Piper’s cheeks turned red and she stuck out her tongue at him. “I don’t have to learn Spanish to convince girls to like me.” “Last time you said vámonos in front of Reyna, you said it so bad I thought she was going to cry. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Reyna cry.” Piper made a distressed noise and threw herself on Jason’s bed, face-first into the pillow, clearly reliving that dark moment. “I hate you.” *** Piper and Jason face the horrors of vocabulary with each other Ao3 Anniversary Collection Day 1: Learning a Language Together

“Why are you so bad at this?”

Jason looked up from the workbook in front of him and straightened his glasses in order to give Piper the full force of his baleful glower. “Yeah, because you’re doing so well.”

 Piper puffed out her cheeks for a moment and propped her own workbook up in front of her face. “That’s different. You already speak Latin, which is basically Italian, which is basically just wiggly Spanish.”

“And you speak French, which is basically just curly Spanish. What’s your deal?”

“That’s not true!”

“Neither is what you said about Latin!”

“Ugh!” Piper made a disgusted noise and slammed her book shut before tossing it aside. She furiously rubbed at her forehead, eyes squeezed shut. “I hate this!”

Jason heaved a deep sigh and put his book aside as well, though a little less passionately than Piper had. “Look, why don’t we just take a break, yeah?” Piper grumbled quietly to herself in response, so Jason nudged her with his socked foot. “Pipes? What’s wrong?”

“I hate language class,” Piper admitted after a while. “I’ve already got enough in my brain that trying to cram a whole other language in there doesn’t fucking work. This sucks.”

“It does,” Jason agreed whole-heartedly. He’d been relieved beyond words that Edgarton offered Latin and that it counted for a foreign language. He liked getting the chance to be a normal kid, but it was also nice to have a class where all he had to focus on was not being too good at it. He knew Leo did it, too (which Jason didn’t think was fair because Leo also got to breeze through math class, but it kinda balanced out when it came time for history) and he was pretty sure Piper was taking French down in LA. 

“So, tell me why are we torturing ourselves by learning Spanish in our free time?” Piper scoffed. “I could be surfing right now. Do you know how good October is for surfing? Oh! Or I could pay someone to remove my fingernails one by one with a pair of rusty pliers. That sounds more fun than this.”

Jason chuckled softly at her dramatics. “Well, I’m doing it because I want to ask my boyfriend to prom. Pretty sure you’re doing it to impress cute girls. Well, one cute girl.”

Piper’s cheeks turned red and she stuck out her tongue at him. “I don’t have to learn Spanish to convince girls to like me.”

“Last time you said vámonos in front of Reyna, you said it so bad I thought she was going to cry. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Reyna cry.”

Piper made a distressed noise and threw herself on Jason’s bed, face-first into the pillow, clearly reliving that dark moment. “I hate you.”

“You’ll hate me less once we finish this vocabulary lesson,” he promised her. “Now, come on. What’s the Spanish word for ‘friendly?’”

For a moment, Piper was silent, and Jason really though that her temper tantrum  would hold strong. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d stormed out of the dorm in a language-fueled rage, but soon she sagged into the sheets in defeat. “Afable,” she recited with a put upon sigh. “A-f-a-b-e-l.”

“Close. A-f-a-b-l-e.”

Piper let out a loud groan from the depths of her chest and Jason rolled his eyes fondly. He hoped that Leo’s track and field practice went over today. He had a feeling this was going to be a long lesson. 

[straightlightyagami]

everyone i know thinks of me as a quintessential Good Kid but i really was in my unhinged era in early middle school... i was like. a type of guy. like. if i got mad i would just run out of the building. i memorized like the whole vocabulary book we used (plus all the ones used in higher grades) and would say the page number any word is on. i had an english dictionary i read for fun. one time i threatened to commit suicide in front of the whole class (and i didn't even mean it that time). i kind of started a quasi-religious movement with my classmates (whatever you're imagining. it was probably worse). i aced every subject, finished every textbook and workbook my school used several years in advance, and tutored people for free at lunch. i regularly got sent to the principal for being too much of a hater. she fucking hated me. i brought a knife to school . it was a plastic knife

[rubberduckyrye]

you seem kind of callous...I don't know the whole story but friends are supposed to help each other

Hey anon. Anon.

You’re fucking right—you don’t know the whole story. And to be frank, I’m suspicious of this ask because who in their right might would send this to me after I made my posts.

Anyway.

Let me be clear.

This man trauma dumped on me and a friend constantly. He’s always talking about how awful life is and making suicidal comments. I keep telling him to get a therapist but he ignores me because of his own damn pride/learned helplessness. But despite despising therapists, he’s using me and my friend as free therapists to vent to—which is why I kept telling him to get professional help because this man desperately needs it.

He did not listen.

It came to a head over the weekend, where we had an argument where I made it very clear that the words he says makes us (me and my friend) constantly worry about his safety, how we aren’t trained professionals, ectect. He got all pissy because I told him that him apologizing for hating therapists felt insincere when he didn’t plan on changing that behavior, he said I was calling him a liar, and I had to leave the group chat after he reacted poorly to me finally caving and sending him a CBT workbook so he could “help himself.”

After that, he DMs me, we argue more, and we come to some sort of agreement where I stated some things needed to fucking change and he agreed. Great!

Except not great.

This man had been emotionally manipulating me by being nice to me in my personal DMs, but he was being vile about me in DMs with my friend. He insisted me telling him to get a therapist every time he trauma dumped on us was harassment, he kept weirdly misgendering me when referring to me from six or seven years ago (which, fun fact—I was Agender then too, so there’s no fucking excuse!) (Also context here: we all met in a RP, I drifted off and we stopped speaking six-seven years ago, only to reconnect recently), said that I was like his Ex (not as in I reminded him of an ex, no—that I was like an ex of his), and finally, he called me abusive because I committed the horrible crime of drifting away from him and my other friend as a friend and never DMed him back and he waited like the ~sad little puppy in the gutter-victim of my crime~ for seven years.

IN WHICH.

If this man really was so stuck on me and missed me, kinda weird how he had my email this whole fucking time and didn’t try to reach out these past six or seven years! Kind of weird for someone who blames me for him developing abandonment issues to not reach out in that span of time, don’t you think? That’s how we reconnected in the first place—I posted in the old RP ooc forum, and he scrambled to get into contact with me because I made a nostalgic post about being a stupid kid. He emailed me just to get my attention!

Anyway.

He said all of these sentiments to my friend AFTER we had our discussion. So he was sweet talking to me and shit talking about me to my friend, and called me abusive because I dared to just, drift away from him. He had a grudge against me. One that I knew he was going to hover over my damn head—especially since things “seemed fine” after the conversation. Had my friend not told me about what he said behind my back? Fuck. I’d be ignorant to how horrible of a guy he had become.

So I cut him off. I knew he wasn’t going to help himself and he was just going to, albeit unintentionally so, emotionally abuse me. And you know what he did after I did that?

He picked a fucking fight with my friend.

He took his hurt and upset out on her, whined the tragic woes of “Oh, I thought everything was fine now, Rye lied to me!” Despite literally calling me abusive in DMs with my friend earlier. I didn’t mention to him that my friend told me what he said, because I wanted to avoid him giving her his damn wrath—but it didn’t matter. They fought. And that’s where we are right now.

Sorry that I don’t want to be friends with someone who thinks of me as an abuser because I drifted away from him as a friend. Fuck, we weren’t even that close—and my friends have expressed concern over how weirdly obsessed he is with me.

But yes. You ARE supposed to help your friends, it’s not a bad thing to occasionally need to vent and cry and be held. However, he was not treating us like friends—he was treating us like free therapists who he could beat up emotionally and keep around because if we left, what if he hurt himself? Then when I came into the picture with my New Yorker “I take no shit” attitude, he didn’t like that, and got pissy because I refused to coddle him anymore.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.

You can try to help a friend, but if they don’t want to help themselves, then they’re just making you watch as they spiral down and get worse.

And once again I state: If you fucking play with Fire, You are Going to get Burned.

My feelings of genuine concern for this man were played with like a fiddle. Now that I know, he has to face the fire.

And anon, don’t send this shit to other people. It’s fucking rude at best, and comes off as victim blaming at worst.

So yeah. Fuck off with this shit.

[kieumy]

Since you are training to be a teacher I'm gonna vent to you, but I think one of the things that used to drive me insane in school is the fact that in a lot of workbooks (like math, physics, chemistry), they'll just give you the correct answer at the answers section rather than the full solution, so it's something drives me insane because like how I'm supposed to know what I did wrong when my answer doesn't match the correct answer when they don't provide me with the full solution?

yeah, it’s something that frustrates me too. unfortunately for a lot of us, we have to follow the curriculum, which includes using the books we are provided. when it comes to this, at least in our school district, we’ve got no say over what books are going to be used (the only exception is language arts, in which teachers can choose books the students will read, but can’t choose work books). i hate when books don’t describe how to solve problems properly, because then what’s the point? even when you do homework, having a guide is helpful so you’re actually learning what the fuck you’re doing instead of being left in limbo wondering where you went wrong and what can you do to fix it. very frustrating for sure

[sjwmothman]

year in review

new year new new year post thread. old new year's threads over here.

wanted to do a quantifiable list so i wrote 24 things i wanted to do on paper and checked a few off. i cannot find the paper rn tho -3-

kind of went through the wringer. my cat died (the day after my birthdya.........), i got really close to getting a full time job but did not, i had an exhausting temp job for a couple weeks (got laid off from it within hours of seeing a child's drawing of angel dust from hazbin....0.0), i had a bad time trying to adjust my meds, i got bitten by a dog i was meeting up with to see if i could walk them BUT i had ridden there on an e scooter which was low battery so I had to SIT in the HOuse with the dOG that BITE me for 45 mintues, many such cases yadda yadda

i made some money moves vis a vis trying to be Normal. i started riding the aforementioned e scooter. it's not exactly solving my not having a car problem but it is better than nothing and i'm less afraid of the road now. i wore stupid makeup and sweat through a stupid professional outfit to an interview. i stared at guides about acting like neurotypical people and hated it. i did a stupid dbt workbook.

i passed my grad school classes. feel kind of nauseous about only having two classes left. i feel like it won't have any impact on anything in my life and will just end up a waste of time and money.

i did a few more vendor booths and got to make lots of kandi. i got to hang out with people and be weird. i got to take little trips places in my scooter. i did some more video digitization gigs for nice local moms. i gotted an ipod at a garage sale but it broke :(

i still struggle with nothing fundamentally changing about my life, which i still hate, i'm still frustrated about my lack of success in any capacity but like i tried weed this year and that was cool

i normally end these with a cute button full of hope. but idk man. it is what it is what it is. i struggled a lot to make changes and some worked and a lot didn't and i really don't know why the ones that worked worked. I'm kind of exhausted from all this fucking trying.

here's to more rising up against the sea of struggles. i hope we make it again

[milimeters-morales]

continued another dream where i was Miles and in class with Judge, it wasn’t really that bad and at some point it was a montage (with one of my fav albums playing, modest by default - Admissible Vol. I) of us doing several problems for several classes, and i felt really at peace even though i was months behind because i was gone from this particular dream and it progressed without me (really weird shit happened in it this time too) but my fav part was when Judge and I were switching between our math and english workbooks because I was fixing his grammar mistakes and when he was correcting my science mistakes while the music played and the sun was on us <3 he hated the way it fucked up his glasses tho lol he deadass stopped the class to ask if the teacher could buy better curtains ^_^ i hope i see him again we were laughing and joking and just really enjoying being with each other

[dakrapatops]

i have 3 things to say:

today all our design shit was due and it was crazy. i have an old ipad from idek its an old peice of shit tho but i refuse to buy another bc the day i buy an apple product is the day i die i would rather kms actually. anyway the battery is shit and bc i had been working on my environment design all night when i got to school it was on 2 percent and i still had to send all my files to my computer but i fucking did it JUST💪💪💪💪💪 BUT THEN my design teacher was looking at everything in my workbook and she was like heyyy what if u printed out all ur very early sketches for ur characters. mind u i already have excellence at this point so there wasn't really much point but i had to do it bc what ifffff she decided it wasn't actually enough for excellence and i got merit i would die. so with my ipad on 1 percent i started gathering all my sketches THEN IT FUCKING DIED so i had to find a charger and plug it in and start uploading everything to my computer to print out. anyway i made it but it was a stressful fucking time.

i have slowly morphed into a film dude i everyday i become more and more obnoxious. i have letterboxd now :(

i am leaving tomorrow to go on holiday with my friends to This One Place and there will be no wifi bc that costs extra and only half of us are actually employed so fuck that. so i will be gone for four days :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( I WILL MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. also speaking of no wifi i am the designated movie downloader and everyone has decided that we are going to watch 50 shades of grey and barbie. the barbie movies are cool 50 shades on the other hand absolutely the fuck not. evil of everyone to make me download this shit. also when i return i have a fucking english assignment due but we have to write it in class under test conditions bc ai so i have to plan this essay while wifiless so that'll be fun dfjksgkjgskj ill have to actually think for myself :( it shouldnt be too hard tho i get to analyse lord of the rings from a marxist lense which is at least interesting

1: REAL FUCK APPLE APPLE KYS ALL MY HOMIES HATE APPLE . i feel you i hate doing extra work mhjgjf BUT ITS GONNA BE WORTH IT YOURE GONNA GET AN EXCELLENCE^2 AND EVERYONE WILL CLAP AND CHEER AND SAY WOOOO GO ALOX

2: no....... this cant be......... next youll be tell me about colourgrading and kubrick............

3: I WILL MISS YOU TOO ALOX I HOPE YOU HAVE THE MOST FUN TIME A HUMAN CAN HAVE EVER AND I HOPE YOUR ESSAY PLAN GOES SO WELL THAT MARX HIMSELF RISES FROM THE DEAD AND SAYS IDK WHAT LORD OF THE RINGS IS BUT THIS SHIT BANGING YO!! whatever you do though. do NOT put on 50shades as background music. it will incorporate into your essay and then you will be writing gay lotr fanfic...... trust i am a sciencetist this is 100% how it works

[songs-about-girls-like-me]

chapter 15: 4ever obsessed

I hated the paper in which they had printed every english workbook in the world. It either was literal newspaper or magazine material and it was always a PAIN to use pencil on them. Still, I did, cause I refused to use pen to write on them. I was missing a couple of answers on the page before I could go ahead and be chaotic with my friends, as the rest of my classmates participating in the jungle-like ambient of school.

"2. Her lawyer would [___], or argue, that she was innocent." The words I hadn't used were "stress", "spare" and "contend" and I was re-reading every sentence on the page when someone leaned over me and drummed on my desk.

"Hurry up, bitchhh" It was Ella, half singing her words.

"Shut the fuck uppp" I said copying her, still with my eyes on the page.

"Come onnnn!! The answers are written on the damn blackboard, Rees!" She pretended to choke me for a second, making us both laugh.

"Yeah, I'm trying to learn a language here."

"Ugh, you're so annoying. Plus, it's so easy!"

"It's literally not"

"Number 1 is "prohibit", number 2 is "contend" She was reading from the blackboard. Miss Claudia would straight up write the answer key for us to "check our results" aka not having to teach a class lol. And we knew she was being lazy and she knew we were being lazy.

"Aaaaaaaa shut uppppp, Ella"

"3 is "spare", 4 "adress", 5 "countr-

"Come on, Rees" It was Poppy now, and she was shaking my shoulders. I laughed a bit again.

"Maybe if you guys let me have a think!!"

"Ree, just copy the stupid answers!!!!" This was Olivia, who would call me "Ree" like my family did.

"Aaaggh" I looked up at them, MJ was there too, just laughing and I couldn't help but smile at them towering over me looking happy, but also just needed a moment to finish!!! As we've stated before, I had a hermione granger personality complex and cheating on something like this was a bit unthinkable to me and my knowledge ambitions.

"We love our smarty pants friend"

"Fuck you guys"

We laughed and then they gave me a couple minutes to finish while they were chatting, standing around my desk, their four voices and laughs hovering over me. I was obsessed. Never had it felt this way to be me. It felt so cool and different to have Poppy and MJ now. Maybe because I had met them being now older, it felt so much like a new and cooler vibe, and even Liv and Ella felt newer and cooler to me.

Five minutes later, after getting my work graded and having Ella and Liv mock me cause "I would've gotten a 10/10 had I just copied from the blackboard as everyone else!!!", we went to the back of the classroom to a bunch of desks that had been pushed messily against the wall by the four of them, and then we hung out there, sitting on top of the desks, or rather laying on them, sort of how mermaids rest to take the sun and comb their hair on a rock in the shore. As if there was any sun to take in the cloudy 1pm afternoon inside the classroom.

One of the top activities we enjoyed was chat and have a great Time while focusing on appearing nonchalant and pretty. That specific day, one of us had brought grapes for lunch, the type of grape that is very round, the color of red wine and actually crunches inside your mouth when you bite them. Delicious! We put the tupper ware in the middle of the desks and talked while actively trying to look cool while eating. We all were giving tips on how to achieve this, as if we could've given a master class on "how to bite a grape and how to make it look like you're kissing someone and how to do it without making it look weird." And we laughed and laughed and laughed, cause sometimes it was terrible and sometimes we would mock each other, and it still felt like being by the pool side.

"They're looking at us" said Ella.

"Who?" asked Olivia.

"My stupid jerk ex-friends" said MJ.

"That's fun" said Poppy bitting a grape down the middle. "Of course they're looking, you look emotionally fine and we're looking cooler than them." Poppy said it as facts and I believed her.

"Also, you haven't cried in ages" added Ella.

"Thanks, Elle" said MJ with a bit of irony, making us laugh. But it was true.

"We love our drama queen" I said messing her hair up a tiny bit.

"Yea, I know I know" MJ blew us a few kisses. And Poppy asked whether she could also be our drama queen and we started talking about who was most dramatic of us five.

I took a grape to my lips and looked around while bitting it, believing I could look like a greek godess as I flicked my hair off my shoulder. They were talking between them, the popular group of girls and boys, but it was true, I could feel a faint glance from some of them. Rome, the new kid who had voluntarily admitted to thinking I was pretty, now had these dismissive glances he would give me if we ever looked each other in the eye, as if that could erase the fact that it happened or that I was indeed pretty. I thought it was very petty of him. Also, MJ's ex girlfriends were clearly talking about us. Mia and Brody were still "together", which just meant they were always next to each other, while he tried talking to her and she ignored him. They were suppossed to be a "cool couple" but i'm sure no one really thought so, not even them.

I didn't tell my friends about him putting his jacket over her shoulders during Disco Night but it crossed my mind for a second when I saw them there. "They look so dumb" I thought to myself with a shake of my head. I actually hadn't even mentioned Brody to either MJ or Poppy. It was rare that I would articulate even a sentence about those type of feelings. Just cause I thought they weren't important. They were not these intense die-hard sentiments, so I didn't want anyone to make a big deal out of them. I would talk about them if it felt fun. Like at the sleepover. But usually I would just lazily drop them somewhere inside me with my careless hands, let them hang around in the back of my mind, like a receipt you've been meaning to either paste on a scrapbook or toss in the trash, that ends up falling between the wall and your desk. Like, I just couldn't find a reason to recount that interaction at the camp ? Maybe if I liked him, I would. But all I was doing at this point was keeping tabs on Brody cause I had loved the spark between us at age 5. I shook my head thinking I was being stupid, finishing another grape with a laugh.

"NO way I am more dramatic than either of you!" said Ella sounding categorical.

"You sure??" I asked just to take the piss on her.

"Ohh, you? You can actually take my place in this drama podium, Rees"

"Shut up" we all were giggling, even after she threw a bitten grape at me which was criminal cause they were too good.

"Why is Rick coming this way?" Said Olivia. One of the basketball dudes, Rick, was heading towards us. It came like a slap in the face:

"Poppy, you're a whore"

The world paused for a split second after hearing that word. I looked at her, Poppy, to find a half smirk on her face.

"Yea? and what are you, dumbass?" asked her, with a laugh.

"Oh wait! Wait... we don't give a shit" said Ella cutting him before he could even come up with a comeback. I saw him trying to formulate words on his lips.

"Cool. Bye Rick!" I added before he could insult anyone again. I was glad Poppy was chill about it, but I was ready to fight. We all waved at him with sarcastic smiles and said "bye-bye" almost in unison which made us laugh. And he had to leave cause what else could he do?

"What the fuck?" asked Ella.

"It was them" said MJ.

"You think they sent him?" thought Liv.

"Idk. Could've been the basketball guys" commented Elizabeth.

"Well, either way, that was fucking mean." Stated Poppy with an undertone that wasn't too light.

I had been sure because of her reaction, Poppy didn't care being called a whore. She actually got that constantly. But by the look in her eyes now, I understood she was just good at laughing pretty and cursing at people when she had to.

"Whatever." Ella passed the tupper ware box around and lovingly played with Poppy's hair for a second. We all knew. So we shit-talked everyone and played to be mermaids again.

[glittergutts]

Halloween really snuck up on me. I feel bad I didn't get my kids the perfect costume. Lola's is fine, but Ellie really needed a different jacket than the one she's borrowing from my mom, but it's going to have to work. She seems fine with it, so I guess it's good enough.

I have so much cleaning to do today after the weekend it's crazy. I need to fix my house so I can think straight. Also, I need to get back into homeschool for the week, but we might take the day off workbooks and just do some reading and crafts for Halloween. Because it's only 7:30 and I'm already overwhelmed by the idea of workbooks. Also, so much learning happens outside those workbooks. I really want to capitalize on that today.

I have 2 boxes of Halloween sugar cookies I need to make and bring to my moms tonight. I also bought some apple cider to bring. She's getting pizza for everyone so we'll have dinner there and I thought bringing a drink and some cookies would be nice. I'm trying to put effort into everything I do and it usually pays off.

My house is too cold to convince myself to go work out this morning. But maybe I'll go when the heat actually starts working. I haven't exercised in 3 days. 2 of those were rest because I was sore. Yesterday, I just never made time because we were so busy, and after dinner, I was too tired to clean up, so I definitely wasn't going to be able to work out. I don't want to keep making excuses, though. Nothing will change if I can't change, so whether or not I feel like it, I'm going to get enough exercise today.

I just realized pizza and sugar cookies have gluten, but it's a holiday, and before I started this diet, I knew holidays wouldn't matter. It would be cool if I found something gf to have at home before we go so I can avoid pizza but I did really want a festive cookie so I'm going to have one regardless of what I eat for dinner. Limiting gluten instead of completely cutting it today seems more logical.

The past week of not eating gluten and not drinking alcohol has significantly improved my overall mood and energy. I feel a smidgen slimmer, too, so I'm going to try to keep it up. I also was going to allow myself a drink on holidays, but I don't think I want one today even if Halloween is normally a drinking holiday for me. I'm just going to enjoy my kids and maybe watch a Halloween movie today instead of feeling like I need alcohol to have fun. Alcohol isn't necessarily a problem for me, but I just don't want it in my life anymore.

Next, I'm going to ask my doctor for nicotine patches so I can quit vaping. I'm tired of it. It's expensive and I'm always losing it and getting stressed. I feel like I constantly need to vape, and I hate it. I don't want any type of addiction in my life unless it's coffee, and even that I've been thinking about my over indulgence(mainly sugars). Also, I'm not going to stop smoking weed anytime soon. That's just my thing, and it normally doesn't feel bad or addictive. Or maybe I'm just not ready to think about that yet, idk.

I'm trying really hard to get my health in check because I've neglected myself for so long. It's exhausting to constantly try to do better than I did the day before. There's a version of myself in my head, and she's healthy and happy, and I'm going to make that real for myself. Making diet and lifestyle changes and regular exercise are feeling difficult today but I'm fucking determined to make the changes I want to see in myself.

[luveline]

if you want, maybe roan is just like doodling around and stuff yk and she draws a typical like family pic but eddie notices that beside the both of them there’s another messily drawn figure and it’s the reader :( <3

HELL yeh ty baby ♡ fem!reader

Eddie's a good dad. Fuck anyone who thinks otherwise, he's good at this shit, and if Roan wants to go get burgers every Friday he's gonna take her. His daughter deserves the world.

Including greasy, messy quarter pounders from Benny's diner.

"What's that one?" Eddie asks, pointing over Roan's half eaten plate with his pinky finger at her drawing, the table between them covered in crayons from her open pencil case.

"This? This'a doggy," she says, like it's obvious and he's the worst.

"I knew that," — he did not know that — "I meant want kind of doggy."

"Oh. That's our dal-dalm-damnation!"

Eddie grins at the idea of a dalmatian named damnation. Fucking sweet. "Dalmatian, babe." He wipes his fingers in a napkin so he can lean over and pick sesame seeds out of her hair and off of her little sweater. "I thought you wanted a St. Bernard. The rescue dogs with the medicine around their neck, you remember?"

She points at the dalmatian's side where she's drawn a cross in red crayon. "He is a rescue dog."

Eddie hums appreciatively and picks up his burger again. But the time he's finished Roan has moved onto a clean page. She sits there tap tap tapping her crayon against the corner.

"What do I draw?" she asks.

Eddie grabs his napkin. "You didn't give me a look at the first one!" he exclaims, stacking her plate on top of his.

Roan struggles. Her sketchbook is a simple plain workbook from Bradley's with thin paper, but the size of it is still heavy in her small hands. She turns back to the page she'd just been decorating and brandishes it against her chest proudly.

"Holy sugar, that's awesome," he praises, and means it. "Is that Princess Peony?"

"The damnation is saving her," Roan says.

"I can see that."

He reaches under the table for his backpack. Inside, he carries around all the bare essentials necessary for successful kid outings — spare clothes, Teddy the pink bear with one ear, a hair brush, hair ties, her rain mac. And, the most important thing, wet wipes.

"Alright, c'mere. Let me wipe that face."

Despite contrary instruction, Eddie walks around to sit on her side of the booth. He does hands first, then crayons caught in the crossfire, then her face. She hates it, but when she was a baby she loathed it. He takes her scowl as an improvement.

"Why don't you draw... Maybe, a new family portrait? We can put it on the fridge like the first one. You can even include your damnation, if you like."

"He isn't real, dad."

"Just draw what's real, then. Can I trust you while I go get drinks?"

She makes a haughty little face that he takes for an eye roll and leaves to get drinks, though he's not really leaving. He's about ten feet away from her at all times and he keeps his eye on her.

He only looks away for what can't be ten seconds, and she's gone. His heart skips as his eyes scour the diner.

"Dad?"

Eddie flinches, his coke tipping over the side and down his hand. "Oh, sh- sugar," he says, kissing his fingers dry. "Babe, you scared me."

Roan stands at his knee with her drawing in hand. She wields it up at him insistently.

"That's for me? Swap?" he asks, offering her a small glass of juice.

Roan takes the juice in one hand. Eddie quickly takes her drawing so she can use both hands, watching the pride as she shuffles carefully back to the table. She doesn't spill a drop.

Eddie shakes out the drawing and sips his coke. The edges are ragged along the top where she's torn it free.

Front and centre is Roan. She's drawn herself with big long eyelashes and a full head of curls, total dad-win, in a huge cloud of pink he assumes is her very best princess dress. To her left is Eddie, same head of curls, long lashes amiss but a huge smile on his face, and to Eddie's left is Wayne. He looks especially dapper, a coffee mug in hand.

It's a great likeness.

And then there's you.

Your hair, your favourite shirt. Roan has drawn you with lovely eyes and a heart next to your smile, messy but so obviously you.

He beams like a fool as he sits down next to her again. She's already turned to a new page in her blook.

"Roan, this is amazing. And... That's Y/N."

"Duh," she says.

"Duh," he repeats, dumbfounded.

He wonders what he's supposed to say here. Telling her you aren't part of their family wouldn't be true. Telling her you are might set a precedent you aren't ready for. He worries it over for a while and takes despondent swings of coke, listening to Roan scribbling furiously beside him.

"Done!"

Eddie looks down. He gawks.

"Baby, is that..."

She points with her crayon enthusiastically. "Tada!"

"It's a castle," Eddie says carefully.

"That's where a princess gets married."

"And that's..."

"That's Y/N!"

There you are. Smiling, a bouquet of blue, red and yellow flowers on bright green stalks in hand. A prince stands beside you in a suit with a bright red scribble across his chest like a sash. The prince also has long, curly hair.

"Where are you?" he asks.

Roan points at a purple blob with black hair in the background. "I'm the flower girl."

Eddie throws his arm over her small shoulders and drops a firm, smacking kiss against her round cheek. "That's where you're wrong, bub. You'd be right next to me, my best girl."

She giggles infectiously at him, his words and breath tickling her face.

"Dad, don't be stupid. It's s'posed to be a man with you."

"Make an exception? Just this once it can be a girl. Pretty please?"

She smiles at him. It's a much older expression than she should have, like she's entertaining his fantasy, like he's the kid. "Okay, dad. I will be the best girl."

Later, when he tells you the story, you get super indignant. His stomach turns to a pit as he worries he's overstepped, but you say, "How is that fair? I want her to be my best girl."

"Maid of honour."

"What's the difference? You got her all this time completely by yourself, and you're not gonna share her on our wedding day?" Your voice drifts off as you dissapear into the bathroom, though he can hear you muttering, "Ridiculous."

He hides his electric blush with a pillow over his face. When you return, you climb half on his chest and force the pillow away to dot spearmint kisses against his pinked cheeks.

-

more eddie and roan (and reader!)

[chaeryybomb]

BRUTAL

pairings: female reader x best friend!jungwon

summary: they told you that these were the golden years, but to you "golden" was a rusting metal spray painted yellow. the story of a seventeen year old trying to survive high school when all you do is try your best. but your best friend jungwon makes it worth the while. 

genre: high school au, friends to lovers, fluff, tiny bits of angst if you squint, attempt at humour

featuring: jang wonyoung, kim sunoo & nishimura riki 

word count: 4.5k 

warnings: reader having a existential crisis most of the time, strong language, mentions of insecurity

the sour series masterlist

You slumped forward the moment the bell rang, letting your head hit the table. You could care less if a bruise would form on your forehead, you had much bigger things to worry about. Your teacher left the class wordlessly as the class was busy doing their own thing. And by that, everyone was buried nose deep in studying. You lifted your head to see the different books of the same topic scattered on your desk, a yellow highlighter balancing on the edge of your table.

Reaching over to grab the highlighter, you turned your head over to the side to look at your desk mate. Wonyoung sat there looking straight out from a k-drama, with her hair flowing down her back perfectly and her slender nimble fingers moving as she continuously wrote in her notebook. She was smart too, fluent in English and Korean, great at maths and science. And on top of that she was kind and friendly, everyone loved her. You did too, you had the honour of calling her your best friend. But sometimes you felt insecure around her, everything she did looked flawless and there you were just trying your best.

"Ack!" You yelped as you sat up straight, holding your forehead. Wonyoung rolled her eyes at you with a small smile on her lips, she had flicked your forehead to get you out of your thoughts.

Without taking her eyes off the textbook, she tapped your own workbook with her pen. Silently telling you to stop procrastinating. You pouted at her and looked at the clock, 10 minutes before lunch. Maybe a walk to the girl's bathroom would do you some good.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you whispered to Wonyoung. She nodded and smiled at you before you walked out.

As you strolled towards the girl's bathroom, you passed by the bulletin board outside your class. A bright blue poster stood out with the words "ENJOY YOUR YOUTH" in white. Scoffing at the message, you continued on your way.

"I'm seventeen now, where's my fucking teenage dream?" You muttered to yourself. You were tired of waiting for your life to end up like a coming of age movie. Everyone told you that these were the golden years and you should enjoy your youth, but you swear to god if you hear another one of those cheesy sayings, you might just cry on the spot.

Reaching over to open the stall door, you halt in your actions when you heard familiar voices talking.

"I'm so worried for finals, my parents are gonna kill me if I fail English again," a girl complained. You hear the sound of tap water running. "How are you so calm during this time, Mirae?'

"What's the use of studying hard anyways," the second girl, Mirae, said. "We all know the top spots are gonna be taken by Jang Wonyoung and Yang Jungwon, I just study enough to pass."

The other girl snorted at her reply. "Imagine if those two got together, the power couple of the year," she suddenly said.

"Poor Y/N then, she's gonna be over shadowed by them."

"As if she already isn't. I almost forgot they were a trio until you mentioned Y/N," the girl laughed.

"What can I say? They're out of her league," Mirae joined in with her laughter.

The two voices faded away as you heard the door closed. Finally pushing the door open, you looked at your reflection. Your eyebrows knitted in annoyance and your face was morphed in a scowl. You washed your hands aggressively and poked the inside of your cheek. What bugged you was that they were right. You were the black sheep between Wonyoung and Jungwon. Both of them were smart and amazing, and you're just…you.

You love your best friends, you truly do. But you were constantly compared to them and you hated it. Everyone wanted them, you watched as guys tripped over to confess to Wonyoung and girls squealing when Jungwon smiled at them. The two of them always reassured you that you weren't beneath them but you were sick of their sympathy. You're so caught up in the news of who likes you and who hates them. You just wished people liked you more.

Storming out of the bathroom, someone accidentally ran into you and caused you to fell onto your butt. The student immediately stood up and scurried off, not bothering to even a mutter an apology. All I did was try my best and this is the thanks I get, you thought bitterly.

They said that these were the golden years, but you wished you could just disappear. God, it's brutal out here.

"Y/N, wait up!" Jungwon called after you.

You stopped in your tracks as you watched Jungwon waved goodbye to some students before jogging towards you.

"You heading to cram school today?" He asked you as the both of you fell into the same walking rhythm.

You shook your head, clasping your hands behind. "I moved it to Thursday instead, Wonyoung said I had to many things on Tuesday," you told him. Originally, you would be heading to the library to study before heading over to the cram school. But Wonyoung took one look at your schedule and decided that you did not had enough breaks, so she managed to convince you to take the Thursday slot instead. Thursdays are one of the days where you would not go to the library.

Jungwon seemed to be disappointed to find out that you had switched slots. Maybe he should changed slots too, but does he have any empty spots open for Thursday though? He'd have to check later. Instead, he coughed and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Do you wanna come over later? The new Demon Slayer movie is out," he offered, hoping that you'd accept.

Unfortunately, you once again shook your head. "Sorry Jungwon, I'd want to cram even more later. Finals are really creeping in and I can't afford to waste any time," you told him with a sad smile. As much as you would like to ditch the books and watch Demon Slayer, the glaring C on your last history paper was telling you otherwise.

You stopped walking when you had reached your doorstep. "Thanks for walking me home, Jungwon. See you tomorrow!" and with that you disappeared behind the door.

Jungwon waved goodbye as he watched the door closed. The smile on his face dropped and his shoulder sagged. Jungwon you idiot, of course she would want to study, he scolded himself. With disappointment on his face, he trudged home with a heavy heart.

"Change of plans, guys," he announced as he swung the front door open, unfazed by the fact that Riki and Sunoo were lounging on his coach. He accepted the fact that Sunoo had somehow gotten the keys to his house (suspecting that his mother probably gave it to him due to favouritism or maybe Riki had sneakily made a copy).

Riki's head poked out from the couch. "She rejected you, didn't she," the younger boy said with a smirk.

Jungwon's face ears turned red as he glared at the boy. "No she did not!" He immediately told him. "She rejected the offer to watch the movie, that's different!"

"That's basically rejection, hyung," Riki laughed.

The other boy just glared at him. "Shut up!" he sputtered out before hiking up the stairs.

Sunoo gave Riki a look, to which the Japanese boy just shrugged his shoulders innocently.

Jungwon walked out from the shower, a towel around his neck with one hand running through his damp hair. Sunoo and Riki had left earlier, finally giving him some peace and quiet. His phone screen was flashing from his study table, initiating that someone was spamming him (quite aggressively) with text message. With a raised eyebrow, he picked up his phone

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: WHY DID Y/N JUST MESSAGED ME ABOUT HOMEWORK

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: ISNT SHE WITH YOU

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: I THOUGHT YOU SAID U WERE GONNA WATCH A MOVIE

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: DEMON HUNTER OR SMTG

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: WHY IS SHE ASKING ME FOR HW

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: DID U CHICKEN OUT???

[7:13 pm] wonyoung: omg u chickened out didnt u

[7:14 pm] jungwon: jfc wonyoung

[7:15 pm] jungwon: and no i did not chicken out okay

[7:15 pm] jungwon: she declined

[7:16 pm] jungwon: she said she had to study ;-;

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: omg u suck

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: i told u the movie idea was dumb

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: but do u ever listen to me

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: no

[7:19 pm] wonyoung: and now u suffer the consequences

[7:20 pm] jungwon: yea yea i get it im dumb

[7:20 pm] jungwon: now what's ur solution the great jang wonyoung

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: i am so glad u asked :)

[7:21 pm] jungwon: oh no

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: stfu im giving u a better idea

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: a n y w a y s

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: my ynradar is going off and she's s a d

[7:23 pm] jungwon: how would u know

[7:23 pm] jungwon: she seemed fine today

[7:23 pm] wonyoung: stfu jungwon its best friend things u wont understand

[7:24 pm] jungwon: i-

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: and as her future bf u SHOULD start to train ur ynradar

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: anw its exam season stoopid

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and its when those kids start to talk abt how the both of us are gonna get top scores

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and they talk down on y/n while doing so

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: assholes

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: so i propose to u

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: a ✨ study date ✨

[7:28 pm] jungwon: i

[7:29 pm] jungwon: that's

[7:29 pm] jungwon: actually not a bad idea

[7:30 pm] wonyoung: obv i came up with it

[7:31 pm] jungwon: can u not

[7:31 pm] wonyoung: anw a study date

[7:32 pm] wonyoung: she's struggling in maths

[7:33 pm] wonyoung: specifically taxes because she said and i quote

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: "why do we have to do taxes when we pay people to do it for us"

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: so pls help her and try to cheer her up

[7:35 pm] wonyoung: and confess coward

[7:36 pm] jungwon: i make no promises for the last one

[7:36 pm] wonyoung: aFTER EVERYTHING I JUST SAID

[7:37 pm] jungwon: what if she rejects me wonyoung

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: WE'VE HAD THIS CONVERSATION A LOT OF TIMES JUNGWON

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: SHE LIKES U BUT SHES TOO DUMB TO REALISE

[7:39 pm] jungwon: sigh

[7:40 pm] jungwon: fine i'll try thanks wonyoung

[7:41 pm] wonyoung: np i expect y'all to be a couple by next monday <3

[7:41 pm] jungwon: i-

Sighing for the nth time of the night, Jungwon sat on his bed. He allowed the towel to slipped off his shoulders as his thumb hovered over your chat icon. Truth be told, he always thought his crush on you was unrequited love. You never showed any signs of returning of feelings so he thought he would just ignore the feeling until it was gone.

But oh boy was he wrong, because he didn't knew that he would be spending his high school years by your side. And now you occupy his mind 24/7. Wonyoung could literally tell that he was in love with you, but somehow you never caught on. He allowed Sunoo and Riki to convince him to do the whole "movie date idea", but that failed. So Wonyoung's suggestion was his only option left.

He typed out the message, ready to send it out. If only he could just press the button. Come on Yang Jungwon, you can do this. Just press the damn button Jungwon. Suddenly his phone pinged loudly, scaring the lights out of the poor boy as he yelped and his phone landed with a thud on the ground. He peered over his bed, as if his phone was a ticking bomb.

Oh, it was a message from you.

[8:01 pm] y/n: hey do u know where wonyoung is

[8:01 pm] y/n: she isn't answering my texts

Oh no. He realised that your chat was open, the two ticks indicated that he had (unintentionally) read the message. He couldn't just leave you on read. That's just evil. Scrambling to get his phone, he immediately typed a reply to cover for the other girl.

[8:02 pm] jungwon: sorry i don't :/

[8:02 pm] jungwon: what do u need her for

[8:03 pm] y/n: mf was supposed to teach me a maths question but she left me on rEAD

This was his chance! It was the perfect opportunity for him to score a date with you. Okay, breathe in breath out Jungwon. Don't mess it up and just ask her, he mentally prepared himself.

[8:04 pm] jungwon: oh i could help you if you want

[8:04 pm] jungwon: yk with finals coming up and everything, i can help you study

[8:05 pm] jungwon: if you want of course

[8:05 pm] y/n: omg srsly??

[8:06 pm] jungwon: pls help me study my braincells are literally dying

[8:07 pm] jungwon: jdsjkda okay how about this saturday at your place?

[8:08 pm] y/n: yeah sure

[8:08 pm] jungwon: cool its a date then!

You blinked at Jungwon's message. A date? Wait, did Yang Jungwon just indirectly asked you out? Nah, nah. You were overthinking it. Yes, definitely overthinking. Don't kid yourself, why would Jungwon ask you out on a date? Jungwon is just a friend, you tried to convince yourself.

Keyword: tried.

If he really was just a friend, then why did it felt like butterflies were in your stomach when he said "it was a date"? Then why did you frowned when those girls said that Wonyoung and Jungwon would make a good couple?

Oh god, do you have feelings for your best friend?

Saturday came faster than you would have liked it to. Ever since that last chat with Jungwon, it gave you the sudden realisation that you did in fact had feelings for your best friend. You tried so hard to avoid him in school because you don't want the butterflies back in your stomach. It was basically confirming the fact that you like him. Well, avoiding him also confirmed the fact but you choose to be in denial about it.

You didn't tell Wonyoung about your study date but lately she's been sending you outfit ideas on Pinterest. Specifically, date outftis. And whenever you tried to ask her a question about school, she brushed you off with a random excuse. So it left you no choice but to save those questions for Jungwon.

Speaking of Jungwon, he had texted you 10 minutes ago that he was on the way. You were standing in the middle of your room with your hands on your hips. Both of your parents were out for the day, which left you alone at home. You had taken out the low table to be used later and it was currently in front of you. Colourful workbooks were neatly stacked on top of it.

You did a 360 turn around your room. Was it messy? You cleaned it this morning when you woke up. Did you had any clothes out? No, doesn't look like it. For some reason, you were a nervous wreck. You blamed Jungwon. He just had to call this a date, didn't he.

Should you change? Maybe you should finally look through all those pins Wonyoung sent. Wait, no, why would you have to change into something nice. Jungwon was here to help you study, just that.

Yeah, a study date, your mind emphasised on the word.

The sound of the doorbell pulled you out from your thoughts. You immediately went to open the door. Yang Jungwon stood there on the other side, with his signature smile. Had he always resembled a sheep? He just looked so fluffy.

"Hey!" You greeted him with a smile, internally wincing at your way-too-enthusiastic voice.

But Jungwon didn't seem to mind it. "Hey!" he greeted back.

You moved to the side to let him in. "Thank you for having me," he said as he bowed then proceeded to remove his shoes.

"Uh, do you want anything? Water?" You asked him.

He shook his head.

"Ah, cool. Let's head to my room," you started to walk back to your room.

"Where are your parents?" He asked.

"Out," you simply replied.

That was when it dawned upon you, that your parents were not home. Leaving you and Jungwon, alone. Together. In your room. Alone. With the boy you potentially have a crush on.

"Y/N?" Jungwon tapped on your shoulder. You had stopped walking when you were suddenly washed over by your thoughts. Snapping out of it, you sent him a small smile before opening the room to your door.

The both of you shuffled into your bedroom, you sat down in front of the low table while Jungwon settled down next to you. He moved to take out his books then turned to you. "How about we do some studying and if you have any questions, you can ask me okay?" He said.

You nodded and flipped your own workbook open, immediately starting to work on the first question. Jungwon copied your action and a comfortable silence engulfed the both of you. As the time passed, you found yourself stuck on a certain maths question.

You slightly turned your head to the side to look at Jungwon. He was concentrated at doing his work, you felt a sense of deja vu while looking at him. He resembled Wonyoung when she was studying. At the thought of Wonyoung, you suddenly thought of what those girls said at the bathroom.

They would make a good couple, wouldn't they, you thought. The power couple of the year.

The butterflies in your stomach faded away into an uncomfortable feeling. Just the idea of them getting together already made you sick. You bit the inside of your cheek, you really did had feelings for him. And now it scared you because what if he doesn't feel the same. You made a mental note to consult with Wonyoung later, at least you hope that you'll allow yourself to tell her.

Jungwon must've noticed you staring and gently tapped your head with his pencil. A contrast to when Wonyoung painfully flicked your forehead.

"What's wrong? Are you stuck on a question?" He asked.

You leaned back a bit at the sudden action. You were so deep in your insecurities that you had totally forgotten about the literal problem sitting in front of you. Yet you couldn't even bother to ask him so you just shook your head. "I'm gonna get something to drink," you said instead.

Jungwon watched as you stood up, then decided to follow you as well. "I'll come along."

The boy joined you in the kitchen, perched on one of the island stools as you grabbed a can of soda from the fridge. He studied your movement as you worked around the kitchen. Your features were neutral, you weren't smiling nor frowning. But he could tell that your shoulders were tensed. Wonyoung was right, you did seem down. And he cursed himself for not noticing earlier.

"You okay?" His question made you stopped in a mid-pour stance, the can of soda was tilted but not enough for the contents to be poured out.

You brushed his question off and poured the drink into the cup. "Yeah," you hummed.

Unconvinced by your answer, he pried more. "You know you shouldn't care about what they say, right?"

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, pretending like you didn't understand where he was coming from.

"You're not below us, you know that right?"

You couldn't help but scoffed at his words. Jungwon's lips tugged downwards "I'm being serious here, Y/N," his tone was stern. "You shouldn't listen to what they say. You're more than just-"

The sound of the can being slammed down shuts him up. Your fingers tightened around the can as you looked at him. You didn't had the energy to hear him preach the same old "Don't Listen To Them" speech. You don't need his pity.

"I don't want to hear it, Yang Jungwon," you said through gritted teeth. Not sparing him another glance, you threw the empty can into the trash as you grabbed your glass.

As you walked past Jungwon, he suddenly reached out and held onto your forearm. "Y/N," he said softly. "Please tell me what's wrong."

You sighed and slowly turn around to face him, placing the glass back on the counter. You took in a deep breath before you opened your mouth. "I feel like I'm not enough," you finally said. "Everything I do just doesn't seem enough. All I'm doing is my best but it's just crushing my ego because everyone is telling me that you're better than me."

"I feel like no one wants me and I hate the way I'm perceived. It's always poor Y/N this and poor Y/N that's because everyone just sees me as your shadow and I fucking hate it. I only have two real friends," you gestured wildly. "And lately I'm a nervous wreck cause I keep comparing myself to the two of you. I'm not cool and I'm not smart, and I can't even parallel park!" You threw your hands up in frustration, the feelings you kept inside were pouring out like a waterfall.

Jungwon just stood there as he listened tentatively to every word. He didn't knew that you felt this way, bottling up all your emotions like that.

"And I'm so tired of people telling me to enjoy my youth and that these are the golden years. I might just fucking cry if I hear those words again," you finished ranting. It felt good, it felt like a weight on your heart has been lifted. Then you remembered that you just dumped all of it on Jungwon.

You opened your mouth to apologise to him but he surprised you by pulling him into his arms. At first you were standing stiffly at the sudden contact, but it took a millisecond for you to melt in his embrace. His arms were gently around your back and you returned the hug by wrapping your arms around his torso. The two of you stay in that position for awhile, relishing in each other's embrace. You definitely needed this hug.

Tightening your hold on Jungwon, you realised how important he was to you. He was your best friend and he was always there for you. It was stupid of you to compare yourself to him, when all he did was tried his best for you. The taller boy chuckled when he felt you rubbed your face into his shoulder, he involuntarily released a contented sigh. You felt one of his hands stroked your hair, it felt comforting. That action itself was enough for the butterflies to slowly settled back in you.

After a while, both of you finally (unwillingly) released each other. He pushed a strand of hair behind your ears and said, "You're wrong by the way." Which made you tilt your head in genuine confusion.

"You are cool and you are smart. You're like the coolest person I know. And no one thinks of you as our shadow, you don't hear it but I've always hear the juniors praising you for helping them and how enthusiastic you are," the way he delivered his words was filled with pure awe for you.

"And who cares if you can't parallel park. You didn't hear it from but Jay hyung failed his drivers test three times just because he couldn't parallel park," and that got a laugh out from you. Jungwon smiled proudly that he managed to make you laugh. "And you're wrong when you said no one wants you. I want you."

You blinked once, twice and thrice. He wanted you? "You're just saying that cause you're my best friend," you replied.

"No," he firmly said. "I like you, Y/N."

(Jungwon doesn't know where he got this sudden surge of confidence, but the mood was the perfect time for him to confess. It was a one time chance and he had to take it.)

You chuckled. "I like you too, Jungwon. We are friends aren't we?"

"No, Y/N. I like you. More than friends."

"Oh." Oh.

"Yeah," he scratched the back of neck awkwardly. Oh no, did you not feel the same way?

While you on the other hand, were malfunctioning on the inside. Your best friend just confessed to you and you were frozen on the spot. Why couldn't he had done it over text instead. If he had done it over text, then you could've left the message unread and you could've spammed Wonyoung for help. But the thing is that it wasn't over text and you couldn't just tell him to wait here while you panicked to Wonyoung in your bathroom.

Yang Jungwon likes you. And you like him too, right? Because if you didn't, your cheeks won't be heating up right now and your heart would have not be beating rapidly like it was going to break your rib cage any second. If you didn't like him, there would have never been butterflies in your stomach. Yeah. You like Yang Jungwon, you like him a lot.

"Me too," you whispered, it was soft but it was enough for him to pick it up. Jungwon eyes snapped to you, doe eyed filled with hope. "I like you, too," you said, this time louder. And you made sure you looked him in the eye when you confessed.

You watched as Jungwon's mouth morphed into a big grin. He let out a sigh of relief and dropped to his knees, surprising you. "Jungwon!" you squeaked, bending down to help him.

"I'm fine! I'm fine," he assured you as he stood up with your help. The grin on his face was still there. "It's just that … you like me," he breathed out. "You like me back, wow. I-I can't believe it."

Your face was definitely burning with embarrassment. You punched him lightly on the shoulder, turning away to hide your face. "Believe it, you dork. I like you, okay!" Somehow his grin was able to grew wider at your words, Gently, he took your hand in his.

"How about we stop this study date, and I'll take you out on real date?"

© chaeryybomb 2021

a/n: thank you so much for reading this <3

[violetarks]

kissing them out of nowhere

game: xoxo droplets

characters: everett gray, nate lawson, bae pyoun

summary: they looked pretty and y/n thought they deserved it.

warnings: afab! reader, i don't have the dlc, but i have played everett and nate's routes plenty of times to know how bae acts. also: they are less of an asshole here!!

Everett Gray:

"Damn it." Everett grunts, flopping himself onto the bed. Y/N glances at him, up from her workbook and to her boyfriend beside her. She raises a brow as he pushes his face into her pillow.

"Hello, Everett." She hums out, writing down some more notes from her class, "How nice of you to drop into my room all of a sudden. What's wrong?"

He turns his face to her, looking as annoyed as ever. He huffs to her, "Nate's been on my ass all day. I've been trying to avoid him since homeroom, had to fucking sprint here." Everett pulls himself to sit up, looking over to Y/N's work. He gives her a look. "I'm bored... Let's do something fun, I need to be entertained."

Y/N rolls her eyes, ruffling his hair a little with a smile on her lips. "I'm busy, Everett. We have homework to do, have you already finished it or something?" She questions, lifting her hand as she goes on to complete her work. He gives her a small pout, which she only grins in response to.

"Is that why Nate is chasing you around campus?" Everett nods his head in confirmation. She shakes her head. "I saw you guys at lunch while I was hanging out with Jeremy—"

"You were eating with Jeremy?" Everett raises a brow, almost in a judging way. He crosses his arms over his chest with a frown. "What were you doing around that doofus?"

Y/N shrugs her shoulders at the question. "What can I say? You talk so much for someone who said he didn't want to eat lunch with me." She states, watching as Everett's brow twitches. She was just telling him facts. Everett only clicks his tongue and looks away.

She ruffles his hair once more and continues to write in her book, going on to what she was saying before. "Anyway, I can't believe you outran that guy. Nate does all these extra curricular activities, but can't catch this little guy." She laughs, holding a hand to her face.

"Hey." He grunts in return, pinching her side, "Homework is so fucking boring... Wait, I've got a good idea." He gives her a smirk, suddenly laying himself over her lap. She lifts her notebook so he doesn't crinkle it, raising a brow at him. He links his fingers over his stomach. "How about you give me the answers for the homework when you're done?"

Y/N deadpans, slouching her shoulders. "Why would I do that?" She questions.

"Because you love me. And you don't want Nate to kill me." He says, raising his voice in a way that made it sound mocking. But he sees that she seems unmoving. She doesn't think it's a good idea. "And I'll give you a kiss."

"Dude, I can get those whenever I want." She scoffs, rolling her eyes at her boyfriend.

"Hey, I'm not that easy." He claims, turning his head away from her. He furrows his brows and dramatically pouts. Y/N was sometimes done with this whole expression, but other times it's was pretty cute. "To think, you only keep me around for kisses? Wow, Y/N, that's low."

She tilts her head and chuckles, "You were just offering! And you're asking your girlfriend for homework answers, that's what low." She watches as he covers a smirk on his lips because he knows she's right.

As if on time, her phone buzzes on the desk in front of her. She reaches over, Everett not budging in his comfortable spot. When she gets her phone, she sees that it's her boyfriend's best friend. Part of her wants to ignore it, considering how Everett was currently running away from him.

But it's a text.

And Nate hates phones.

And texts.

And Y/N, sometimes.

She opens up the message, raising a brow.

Nate: I know that idiot is with you.

Y/N: Which idiot?

Nate: Your boyfriend.

Y/N: Oh. That one.

Nate: Tell him to at least finish his homework while he's over there.

"Nate says to do your homework since you're hanging out in my dorm." Y/N informs Everett, who rolls his eyes at the idea.

"Tell him it's finished." He says, bringing an arm up to cover his eyes.

Y/N: Everett said he finished his homework.

Nate: He's lying. His homework is here in our dorm, and it's empty.

She sighs out, looking down to Everett, "You left your homework in your room? Where Nate could see that it was clearly unfinished?"

He gives a shrug, pursing his lips a little. "It was worth a shot." He claims, "Tell him I'll do it later."

Y/N is about to text Nate that when she puts the phone down. Her eyes land on her boyfriend laid over her lap. He seems to be comfortable and resting. At times like this, where he was calm, Everett looked pretty. One of the rare times where he looked attractive without trying to.

She gently takes hold of Everett's hand, lifting his arm from his face. He blinks at her a few times, raising a brow to question it. "Hm?" He mumbles out to her.

But he doesn't get the chance as Y/N leans down, pressing a kiss to his lips.

He's a little surprised, to say the least. She was always the instigator, Everett would just let her take the lead. But at a time like this, where he was flirting or saying anything to provoke her romantic actions, it was unusual.

Although that was true, Everett is holding onto Y/N's cheek to give her a few more kisses. She lets out a few chuckles at his willingness, gladly returning the affection as she wraps her arms around his neck. Perhaps this was what Everett was thinking about when he said he wanted to do something fun.

But now Y/N pulls away, making her boyfriend furrow his brows and tilt his head. "What is it?" He questions, gently squishing her cheeks without intending to. She raises a brow at him. "What?"

She brings up a finger and pokes his forehead, making him lean back with a grunt. She speaks, "You should finish your homework before doing anything else. Nate's gonna' murder you in your sleep if you catches you without any completed work."

Everett lets out a loud groan, flopping back onto the bed with arms spread out wide. "Ugh, fine! If I finish that shit tonight then I'll get the weekend off." He says, closing his eyes, "You'll help me, won't you?"

She pats his knee, opening up her work once again as she states, "I'll teach you what you slept through."

"Good." He huffs, sitting up and standing from the bed. He takes Y/N's hands and tugs her up from her spot. "Let's go get my homework from my room. If Nate is still there, you can distract him while I get it."

She rolls her eyes, grabbing her room key and phone and letting him drag her along, closing her door. "He's going to yell at me for being in the boys dormitory." She complains.

"Exactly." Everett hums, holding her hand tight, "Now go on, my lovely decoy, go make trouble for my best friend."

Nate Lawson:

Y/N's door is getting kicked open, making her glance over from her desk to see her very tired boyfriend tugging his hoodie off and lugging his gym bag into the dorm.

"Good evening, Mr Lawson." Y/N says, a smile evident on her lips as Nate shuts the door with his heel, "And to what do I owe the pleasure?"

She waves her hand out to him, motioning for him to come closer. He's too drained to argue against her, slouching his shoulders and walking over to her. He leans over, head falling against her shoulder. She wraps her arm around his neck for a moment, squeezing a little as a greeting.

He lifts himself and rubs his neck, sore. She turns back around to her desk, continuing to do her work.

"I'm back from mixed martial arts." He sighs out, already throwing his bag to sit next to the bed. Y/N turns in her chair, chin laughing on her palm as she waits for him. "And I'm tired. I can't deal with Everett right now, I just know he's causing trouble in our room. Heard people say he was dragging some girls to the boys dormitories."

His girlfriends blinks at the statement. "Huh. So that's why Everett asked me for my lab partner's number." She mumbles out, raising a brow with shrugged shoulders, "I thought he needed help with the chemistry work."

Nate gives her an irritated look before he finally flops onto her bed. "Well, thanks to you, Everett's been blowing up my phone and asking me to interrupt their study session and talk about how good he is at chemistry." He groans, wiping his face, "He thinks that she'll be swooning at the fact that he's using the study date to 'get closer to her', and then they'll start making out. Dumbass doesn't know anything about the subject."

She smiles, watching her boyfriend's actions grow sluggish with the more energy he uses. "Mhm. You should tutor him for a while." She suggests, immediately seeing him flip her off, "I was joking. You can tutor Everett and me."

Usually, Y/N would need to convince her boyfriend to even meet her at her door, for a date or whatever. He was so uptight with the rules, and although she loved him ever so dearly, it could be a little annoying. So she took her time with moments like this.

When he had used up all his energy throughout the day and was just flat-out tired after his training. She would have him either barge into her room to hide, or she'd find him passed out in the library where nobody would disturb him. Either way, she's stay and make sure he was alright.

"You going to sleep, Nate?" She questions, standing up from her seat, "At least take your hair tie out."

She draws closer, sitting on her bed as Nate makes himself comfortable over her covers. He's laying on his stomach, shoes kicked off beside his bag. His face was pushed into the pillow, so Y/N pats his back a few times before undoing his hair, and putting the tie on the bedside table. He lets out a noise, meaning to thank her. She lifts herself up from the bed, returning to the desk to finish doing her work.

Nate was always a workaholic, he never let himself rest. So she didn't want to disturb him here.

Y/N's a good girl, she finishes her work. Well, as much as she could. A part of her was happy to see Nate walk into her room because she needed some help with of these questions, and Nate was the top of their class. But it seemed that he needed to spend this time resting.

A good 20 minutes pass and Nate's fallen deep into sleep.

When she's done with all she can, she stretches in her spot and then stand up. Y/N pushes her chair into its place, putting her books back into her bag. She turns around, about to speak to her boyfriend and ask if he wanted to go out and do something. But all she sees is how her boyfriend is hugging the pillow under his head, eyes closed and looking peaceful.

"How can you look so cute even when you're sleep?" She grumbles to herself, somehow jealous of her boyfriend. She kneels down in front of him, her chin resting on her arms as they laid out on the mattress.

He doesn't answer, thankfully. She's sure that Nate would lecture her about personal space and all that stuff. His shoulders rise and fall slowly as he breathes, face looking at peace for once. Y/N can't help but brush the hair away from his face, pushing it behind his ear.

"Not fair." She scoffs quietly, squishing his cheek, "I'm meant to be the pretty one out of the two of us."

She can't really help herself once she leans forward, pressing a ghostly kiss onto his forehead, trailing another one to his cheek. She never really got the chance to show him a lot of affection, only able to use times like this, where he was more compliant, or out of the blue and risk running away. So she gives a gentle kiss to his lips.

Y/N pulls back when she notices Nate is beginning to stir awake. His eyes are blinking and he looks to her, vision a little blurry from just waking up from his nap. But he knows that the girl in front of him is his girlfriend, who else would be in the dorm?

The thing about Nate was that he would act differently when he just wakes up. He hugs the pillow under his head a little looser once his vision sets on Y/N. "Hm... How long was I out for?" He questions her.

"Nearly half an hour." She retorts, pulling her hand away from his cheek, "You're adorable, you know. When you sleep."

"Mhm, whatever." Nate responds, rolling over onto his back.

Y/N takes the opportunity to sit onto her mattress, swinging her legs over the side. "I finished my homework." She informs her boyfriend, looking to the ceiling, "I think I should get an award for that. Don't you?"

Nate sighs out, wiping the sleep out of his eyes as he sits back up on the bed, "Yeah, alright. Whatever you want."

"Hugs?" She jokes.

"Okay." He retorts.

Nate only catches what he had said when Y/N is giddily looking over to him throwing her arms around his neck and weighing him back to lay on the bed. His cheeks are burning as Y/N nuzzles her face into his neck. She shifts so that she can lay comfortably beside him, arms tugged around his side.

"You're warm." She tells him, closing her eyes, "And I'm tired. Take another nap?"

A part of him wants to say 'yes', because he's still in a sleepy state himself and wants to dive back into some dreams where Everett is a functioning human being by himself.

But he moves, standing up from the mattress and walking over to Y/N's desk. "Nope, come on. We're checking over your work." He claims, picking up her paper, "Look, you got the first question wrong. Y/N. Y/N?"

He looks over to the bed, to see that she's already fallen asleep. He gives a loud sigh before sitting down in the chair, taking her pen and making changes to her answer.

The things he did for her.

Bae Pyoun:

Bae's eyes ride over the words of the page, reading about how the main character was defeating the villain in the story. He was seated in the common room of the campus, where other people were around on the couch near the TV and such. He had his own couch in the corner by himself, enjoying his own company with the soft whispers around him.

But that was interrupted.

"Bae-Bae!" He heard his girlfriend call from the entrance of the room.

Everyone turns to her. They all knew Y/N, she was popular, having been seen with Everett and Nate in classes and to their own clubs. The question on everyone's mind, was as to why a girl like Y/N was with the devil reincarnate, Bae Pyoun.

He looks up from his book, a smile dawning on his lips as Y/N makes her way over to him. He closes his book, finger marking where he was up to as he sends Y/N a smirk. "Well hello, flower." He chimes, tilting his head, "Aren't you incredibly happy to see me?"

She sits herself down beside him, on the couch that was really meant for one, but somehow big enough for two. She huffs out, "I'm bored. I was gonna' go hang out with Lynn but apparently he has to deal with some First Years who're vomiting in the nurse's office." Bae watches as she throws herself over his lap, furrowed brows as she faces him. "Entertain me, Bae!"

He rests a hand over her forehead, patting a few times as he reopens his book. "Oh? And why me, butterfly?" He questions, reading over the next few lines, "I thought you enjoyed hanging out with Shiloh and Everett. Don't tell me you've grown tired of your little boy toys, that would be unfair to them."

Y/N blinks at him for a moment before sighing out, shaking her head, "I do really like hanging out with them, but Everett is stuck with Nate right now, doing homework and shit, and Shiloh has work." She gives a frown, feeling Bae pat her head a few more times. More like pity, but she didn't really care at this point. "I tried talking with Pran, but he wasn't responding. Too busy drawing. Jeremy was locked in his room, and he ignored me too."

"So I'm your saviour?" Bae chuckles, glancing down at her. She nods her head. "How fitting of me, huh, angel?"

She hums out a response before watching as her boyfriend goes back to reading. She's noticed that Bae has this certain face when he reads, more serious than that playful smirk he wears all the time, just to piss of Nate and Everett.

Bae would somehow sneak into her room regularly. She doesn't know how he does it. But he's managed to do so many times, that she's learnt to just not question it.

Anyway, he would usually come there to spend time with Y/N after classes. Maybe she's doing work and he's going to stay there and taunt her for her wrong answers, sit there like an annoying song in her head.

Once, he stood there over her shoulder for a good hour, just telling her she spelt 'Clemenceau' wrong. When in reality, she hadn't. There's a reason Bae has glasses.

But other times, he'd go there to have a quiet place to read. She'd be busy with something and he'd just have his books.

She's learnt that Bae has that expression on his face when he's gotten to the climax of the book. It makes her stare a little.

"Admiring my beauty, sweets?" Bae jokes, raising a brow at her as he continues to read his story. He flips the page. "You aren't as slick as you might think so."

Y/N chuckles back, "Whatever. How long until you're finished with your book?" She watches him turn another page, beginning a new chapter. He only shrugs his shoulders. "Come on, let's do something! There's a new cafe that opened up a block from school, check it out with me."

Bae retorts, turning the book so that she can see his page number, "How about we leave when I get to page 220? That's where this chapter ends." Y/N sees that he's on page 179. She gives him a look. "Aw, bunny, why the long face? I read particularly fast, you know."

She gives a hefty sigh, lifting herself up from his lap, "Mm, okay."

He lifts his hand from the top of her head, giving a nod as he leans his head against his knuckle, elbow on the armrest. He thinks that she's decided to wait patiently beside him, maybe go on her phone and play games.

But she's staring at him again. Because he's pretty when he's reading.

Y/N leans over, placing a hand on his shoulder and tugging him a little closer. He finally takes his eyes off his book, raising his brow at his girlfriend. He goes to ask what was wrong, and if she was getting bored already. But she stops him, moving that little bit closer and giving a gentle kiss against his lips.

Bae's eyes widen a bit, holding his breath as he lays his book open on his lap. Somehow, Y/N still managed to surprise him. This seemed to be one of those times.

But nevertheless, Bae lifts his free hand to hold her cheek. He quickly recovers himself, kissing back as he closes his eyes. She really hadn't expected him to hold the gesture, it was only meant to be one quick and simple kiss and she pulls away. But she smiles a little at his actions.

When she pulls away, Bae has one of his signature smirks on his face. He tilts his head, fixing his glasses as he slickly goes back to reading. "I suppose you have ways to entertain yourself." He lets out a snarky comment, enjoying how Y/N rolls her eyes and gives him a little punch in the arm, "Is that enough attention to last you a few more minutes, sunshine?"

Y/N points at him accusingly. "Hey, don't act like you don't have the most heaviest blush I've ever seen on anybody." She scoffs, shaking her head disapprovingly.

Bae blinks at her before lifting a hand to his face. And it was true, his cheeks were as warm as could be. Probably the warmest ever. He really didn't think it was true. Someone like him blushing because of a feeble kiss? How pathetic. He finds himself grinning at his slight misfortune. It really wasn't unfortunate, though.

He gives a lazy shrug of his shoulders.

Y/N rolls her eyes once again before her phone lights up. She looks over and gasps, "Oh! Shiloh finished his shift!" She stands up from her spot, stretching her arms out above her. Bae tilts his head. "I'm gonna' go get some lunch with him at the cafe. Text me when you're finished, okay?"

She reaches over and gives him a little ruffling of the hair. Bae positions his glasses again as she waves her hand. "Have fun with your boring-ass novel!" She calls, about to walk off.

But Bae reaches out and catches her wrist. She glances over her shoulder. "Why don't you stay with me for a while, duckie?" He offers, seeing her raise her brows at the request, "I'll just finish the next two pages and then we can head over. Doesn't that sound nice?"

In return, Y/N nods her head, texting Shiloh that they could hang out another time. She sets herself down, looking over to her boyfriend's book to read off some lines.

Unknowingly, Bae slightly tilts the book so that she can see.

[thebibliosphere]

I think the hardest and most annoying part about knowing the pernicious anemia ate parts of my brain (not Literally literally, but we now know I suffered some more permanent cognitive problems than was previously realized) is the random holes in my memory.

Like... people and faces. I know we’re supposed to be friends? But the connection just isn’t there anymore. Which uh, needless to say makes me feel like a terrible person and I hate it. Same with my general memory. I used to be able to look at something once and memorize it perfectly. Now I’m lucky if I can find my keys while holding them.

(And yes I know these are features of ADHD and trauma, but these are not things I was previously affected by, and we know is a direct result of the homocysteine flash frying my brain like scrambling eggs in lava. I was developing early onset dementia. It was so bad I forgot the word vampire, while writing a novel about vampires *emphatic hand gestures* get your b12 levels checked)

But the most annoying thing currently at this precise moment is having to relearn how to do my job. I noticed it last year when editing Phangs. My editors would ask me a grammar question, and I knew the words they were saying. But the cue card in my brain where the information was stored was gone. Like someone had plucked it out my head and put it through a shredder. Hilariously, for a bleak value of hilarity, I can still remember how to do it in French. So I go through this whole process of translating it in my head, then converting it back again. But that’s a slow, slow process, and it’s simply become easier to say “can you remind me...” than trying to navigate the potholes in my head.

I’m basically just bitching to avoid the grammar workbook I’m currently going through. I’m mad and pissy because I’ve already done this. I got part of my degree in this. This was my job for years. And my brain remembers parts of it. But not enough to be useful. Of course, it’s doubly annoying cause this whole thing could have been avoided were it not for profound medical negligence. Yet here I am, the one being punished.

And just so we’re clear, relearning parts of the English language is absolutely a punishment. Fucking nightmare language.

[yanderesleepybutwriting]

Pain Without Love [Part Two] || UshiTen x Reader

_____

Pairing: Ushijima x Reader  |  Tendou x Reader

Summary: Soulmates meant to find each other with a link, bound by pain.  Tendou and Ushijima thought they had it easy when they found out they were each other's soulmates. Until they started finding injuries not caused by either of them. It turned out a piece was missing from their puzzle. You.

Notes: Okay, here’s part two. Kinda rushed, so I’m sorry about that. But I love you guys and I hope you’re all doing well.

[Part One]

_____

“Y/N?”

What started off as a small whisper of your name began echoing louder and louder until it was almost impossible for you to ignore. You groaned ever so slightly, eyes squinting in an attempt to block out the lights clouding your vision, and making it even harder for you to get your eyes open. You heard slight shuffling coming from in front of you before the brightness was gone.

“You can open them now,” a deep voice uttered. You obeyed, cracking them open only to see Ushijima standing in front of you, his body shielding you from the light of the street lamps in front of your apartment complex. How long were you asleep? You could have sworn you had only shut them for a second.

“Sleeping beauty has risen,” Tendou hummed leaning in and unbuckling your seatbelt for you. As he leaned over, fingers gently brushing against your thigh, you caught a brief scent of his cologne. The smell definitely suited him, but before you could take in any more, he pulled away, both of your eyes briefly meeting before he was outside the car, offering you a hand to help you back out onto the sidewalk.

“I could’ve done that myself you know. I just have a concussion. It’s not like I’m completely helpless or something,” You huffed, ignoring his hand and getting out of the car on your own.

“Hmm, looks like someone isn’t a morning person.”

You ignored his comment, turning to close the car door behind you.

“I don’t know why you’re talking. You hate mornings too. It was hell getting you up for early morning practice back in high school and that hasn’t changed a bit now.” Ushijima spoke up.

At the mention of high school, suddenly your ears perked up a bit. “Exactly how long have you guys known each other?”

“Since our first year of high school. We were on the volleyball team together. Although we didn’t talk much, we definitely knew of each other.”

“Mmm, you must’ve been pretty popular.”

“Nah.” Tendou waved off, sticking his hands in his pockets and leaning down slightly to be closer to your level. “We were just killer at volleyball,” he smirked.

“Well, as much as I’d like to sit here and listen to you brag about how amazing you are. I’m pretty tired, so I’m going to head in.” Making your way over to the doors of your building. You turned around once you had reached the top of the steps and offered a bow to both of them. “Thank you for the ride, and I’m sorry for the trouble.”

“You don’t have to thank us. It was no trouble. Plus, whether you agree with it or not, you are our soulmate, and it made us feel better knowing you got home safe.” Ushijima explained.

“Uhh..right.”

The reminder of your whole soulmate situation left you with an awkward… almost uncomfortable feeling settling in on you. You had almost forgotten about it entirely. God, why did they have to keep bringing it up?

“Well. Goodbye, and thanks anyway.”

As much as they wanted to, they didn’t stop you from going inside. You did need your rest. They just wished they could’ve had more time with you. The time they shared seemed to pass by too fast for either of their likings. 

Then again. Maybe using ‘goodbye’ wasn’t the best choice of words on your end. After all, now they knew where you lived. So this definitely wasn’t the end. Your relationship with them was only just beginning.

You woke up the next morning with a bunch of texts from everyone wondering how you were doing, and if you were okay. You told them you were fine and would be back in the game by tomorrow. Even as you sent the text, the doctor’s words were floating around in your head.

‘No volleyball for at least a few days.’

But after a good night’s rest, you were already starting to feel better. Your headache had already decreased tremendously, so what would be the point in waiting around and doing nothing. Especially when your team needed you. Today, you would get more rest, but tomorrow morning you would be up and ready to get back in the game.

---

“Hey, Waka! My arms are stinging like crazy, I didn’t know you planned on practicing today. You should have told me I could have helped if you needed it.” Tendou offered as Ushijima walked through the front door in his workout clothes.

Ushijima looked over at his partner confused. “I didn’t. I just went out for a jog. I thought you were practicing in order to make up for missing last Saturday’s practice.”

Both of them knew what this meant, but neither of them wanted to admit it. You wouldn’t. No, you couldn’t have… right?

“Fuck!” Tendou shouted, frustration and anger clear as he stood up from his spot on the couch “I knew we shouldn’t have listened to them.” He was already reaching for his coat before Ushijima grabbed his arm and stopped him.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m going over there!”

“Not yet.”

“What the hell do you mean not yet?” Tendou questioned. He couldn’t understand why Ushijima wasn’t as pissed off about this as he was. You were supposed to be resting, in bed. They even planned to drop off some extra pain medication at the front desk of your building so you wouldn’t have to leave if you ran out. Little did they know, you never had any intentions of staying in, in the first place. Tendou felt stupid having ever believed you would take anyone’s advice and Ushijima felt the same way.

“Take some time to calm down. I’m going to shower and we can head over as soon as I’m out. You’ll scare her if you approach her angrily, and she has a hard enough time trusting us as is.”

Tendou huffed in response, body slumping as he released a long frustrated breath. Ushijima was right. For now, he would continue to play nice.

“...Fine. Hurry up and shower. You have ten minutes before I leave without you.”

---

You don’t know what it was, practice started off just fine, but the longer you continued, the more exhausted your body felt. Your stamina was unusually low when compared to your normal days, which was frustrating enough on its own, without the help of your other symptoms. The fast-paced workout that was normally a breeze was now an almost impossible task to complete. Despite your struggles, you pushed through with all your strength until your coach called it a day.

“You know, you had us all worried there for a bit, but I’m glad you’re okay.”

“I thought for sure that hit would’ve taken you out for at least a week.” 

“Yeah, no one can take a hit to the head like you,” Your teammates joked.

“Gee, thanks. At least I got that going for me.” You laughed, 

“Well, it’s a good thing you’re feeling better,” Manami, your team’s setter, spoke up, “But you should start heading home and get some more rest. We’ll cover clean up from here.”

“Thanks, Manami. I appreciate it.”

After finishing up your goodbyes you started heading towards the train station so you could go home and start studying for next week’s exams. You didn’t want to, but you knew you didn’t have much of a choice. Bad grades mean your school won’t allow you to play volleyball, and you couldn’t bear to let your team down like that. 

The thought of you being stuck back at home head stuffed between the pages of a workbook was already enough to give you a headache. But the slight pain in your head was nothing compared to the two headaches currently waiting for you outside of your apartment.