#of the monster parents use to scare their kids into obedience?

[kariachi]

I think I have the final stage for this next fakemon done. Now it's just on to figuring out wtf I'm doing with the base stage. Want something that seems the normal precious little fairy-type, but that isn't so different the transition to the more intimidating final stage feels weird. But then, we've got shit like remoraid to octillery and shroodle to grafaiai... I don't know. Right now I'm planning a partial selkie inspiration but I'm not sure if that's quite it...

[furiousgoldfish]

Ways abusive parents try to separate you from your human rights:

They threaten to call the police on you if you don't obey them

They threaten you with jail-time and insist that the police will take you away for disobedience

They actually call the police, or emergency services, to create consequences for disobedience

They threaten to 'give you away' to groups of people they deem 'worse' than themselves

They threaten that you'll be kidnapped and sold if you don't obey them

They threaten for you to be put in a home

They threaten you with inhumane living conditions in a home (you won't have you room, you won't have anything, they'll beat you up ever day, etc)

They threaten to institutionalize you if you don't do as they say

They threaten to put you in a mental hospital/psych ward/asylum

They threaten you with court, institutions and government

They convince you that every institution, social service, law enforcement, or any other organized group of people is on their side, and against you, and would fight on their side and enforce their rule over you

They act as if disobeying them is against the law/religion

They insist that nobody will ever want to hire you or pay you a salary

They imply or outright say that it's a waste of space if you were renting out a place or had a place of your own, you do not have the right to occupy your own space in their eyes

They take away your necessities if you disobey them (food, ability to use the bathroom, clothing)

They destroy your property as a form of revenge, and insist it never belonged to you and that they had every right to destroy it

They make sure you're not exposed to educational materials that would inform you that you have a right to safety, food, shelter, and protection from violence and threats

They fight very hard to convince you that what they're doing to you is NOT abuse (saying things like 'you don't even KNOW what abuse is, or 'I'll show you abuse'), and they make sure you're not exposed to any resources or education that would help you recognize abuse

Punishments for standing up for yourself or any attempts to reach justice or point out how unfair, inescapable, hypocritical and painful your situation is

Not allowing you to speak, punishing you for talking back, convincing you that you have no voice and you have no right to defend yourself in any measure

Exposing you to media or real-life situations where children are abused just as badly, or worse than you are, this is a part of grooming they do to convince you that child abuse is normal, acceptable behaviour and not abuse at all

Suggesting that they could do all this to you, and even outright threatening it, implying strongly they know they can get away with it, since others can

Convince you that everyone else has it worse, and repeat how lucky you actually are to have them

They list all of the things that would be happening to you if they weren't so kind to you (you'd be starving on the street, be kidnapped/sold/tortured, die from lack of resources, be abandoned, not survive in any possible way)

Convince you that you're not, in fact, a human being and thus have no business expecting human rights (brainwashing, calling you animal names, calling you demon/satan/monster)

Accuse you repeatedly of being a financial burden, shame you for costing money, demand credit/favours/services/labour/obedience in return for giving you survival resources like food and clothing and school supplies

Neglect to inform you that government is giving them a tax-break for every kid they're supporting and that the society is built so that children would be financially taken care of and do not need to earn their food, shelter or basic necessities

Scare you into believing that every other authority figure (teachers, boss, police, judge, authorities) would treat you even worse and would demand even a higher degree of obedience and submission from you, threaten you with how badly the interaction would go for you if you were to stand up to any other authority figure

Insist that if you were to act with this level of spite, refusal, rejection or disrespect to any other person, they would simply snap and kill you (implied death threat – you're lucky that I'm not ending your life right now)

Act like they own you, to the degree that they feel they have every right to end your life and would not be arrested or blamed if they were to kill you, since you're just their property

Add more if you have lived through other experiences that left you feeling like you had no protection, no rights in the eyes of the law, and no way to recognize your humans rights are being violated. Even one single item on this list means your human rights were kept from you.

[tlbodine]

Overthinking: Welcome to Dead House

Welcome to Dead House (1992) is first in series and proof of concept for what Goosebumps would become. To briefly contextualize the series: R.L. Stine (Bob to his friends) began as a comedy writer. He worked in magazines and television, helping to create the surreal muppet humor kid's show Eureka's Castle.

He started writing the Fear Street series -- a bunch of YA horror novels -- in the late 80s, at a time when horror was at its peak in pop culture and teen slashers were all over the movie theater. But horror for younger kids was a largely untapped market rife for the taking. (Alvin Schwartz's Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books blazed the way initially, between 1989 and 1991).

And thus, Goosebumps was born. The challenge? Writing books that would intrigue the middle grade set (generally readers between 8-12) and deliver them some proper scares without being too traumatizing. Where the Fear Street books often draw on tropes from 80s slashers, Goosebumps is more likely to emulate the kind 1950s pulp monster movies that Stine would have grown up on. Eventually, a pretty consistent formula would arise, and some favorite recurring elements begin here: siblings, a dog, an unfamiliar location, unhelpful parents. But in other ways, Welcome to Dead House is decidedly un-Goosebumps-like. We'll break that down, but first...

The Story

Welcome to Dead House is about Amanda and Josh, siblings who are rather reluctantly moved to the unnervingly named town of Dark Falls after their father (a writer eager to quit his day job and write full-time) inherits a house from an unknown great-uncle. He's excited for the opportunity to sell the old house and live off that until his career really takes off, and his wife is going along with that plan for....some reason. Hey, it was the 90s, maybe it could have worked!

Along for the ride is Petey, a white terrier who's normally sweet-tempered and obedient but will spend the rest of this book barking and growling at everyone he meets. If they'd just paid attention to Petey's instincts, this book's tragedies could have been avoided. Alas.

After a tour by the charming, handsome, (and utterly unpopular with Petey) realtor Mr. Dawes, the family moves into the big house. It's on a shady street, with tall trees looming over all the buildings, and a cemetery at the end of the block just past the school. Nobody ever seems to turn their lights on. We do eventually meet the neighborhood kids, though. There's a ton of them and they're very friendly but more than a little unnerving. Also, they keep telling Amanda that they used to live in her house. What's up with that?

We eventually figure out, after a few nights at atmospheric creepy haunting events -- figures seemingly appearing and disappearing on the stairs, giggling in the closet, curtains fluttering without a breeze -- that the neighborhood kids are undead ghouls. In fact, everyone in town is dead, courtesy of a toxic gas leak from a nearby factory. And in order to maintain their living dead status, they must annually sacrifice and drink the blood of a family. Which they do by luring them out with an enticing letter about inheriting The Dead House.

What a racket!

We find this out after, tragically, catching up with a now-ghoulified Petey. They had to kill the dog because he was onto them. Those jerks. Also, they're about to start the sacrifice with mom and dad. Luckily, the ghouls are weak to bright light, so the kids are able to free their parents by knocking down a tree (just go with it) and they haven't sold their old house so they pack up and leave right away.

Just in time for...new owners to show up at Dead House? Amanda tells them, "I used to live in your house." before they speed away, and surely that realtor couldn't have been Mr. Dawes...

Overthinking It

I read Welcome to Dead House the first time out of the library. I was already a dyed-in-the-wool Goosebumps fan at this point, so I read it with a kind of reverence, as if it were an ancient tome and not a book that had come out less than five years before I read it.

I have, since, always remembered it as the only Goosebumps book where a character actually dies.

In fact, in my memory, all of the characters die. That's the way I've remembered it for thirty years: the parents are lured to a party with all the neighborhood ghouls. There they are dead and turned. Petey is found dead and turned. And in the end, the kids have joined the rest of the community in perpetuating the cycle.

"I used to live in your house."

I had, apparently, completely forgotten the climax where we rescue the parents. What I had remembered instead was the truly chilling line from Mr. Dawes: "It's time to join your parents. It doesn't hurt to die."

Now, this would not be the first time I have rewritten the ending of a childhood story to be darker than it actually was. We all recall that I spent many years firmly believing that The Velveteen Rabbit ended with the titular stuffed bunny being burned alive in the trash heap. But in this case, if Reddit is any indication at least, I'm not the only one who thinks Stine's ending is at least ambiguous.

I think the ending I remember is certainly a stronger one, even if it's likely too dark for a Goosebumps book. It's already brutal that we kill Petey, and that the kids discover him, smelling like a corpse, with red eyes and a total disinterest in them. It's certainly for the best that they didn't find their parents in a similar state. (So why do I remember so certainly that they did?)

The book is at least purposefully ambiguous about the survival of Mr. Dawes. This is perhaps justified in that Amanda, our narrator, is frequently letting her imagination get away with her. Her natural-born anxiety is the main vector of scares for the first 2/3rds of the book. She's constantly getting herself worked up about things that aren't really there. Or is she? Because she's not really wrong about the ghost kids in her house. Her instincts actually seem pretty spot-on. I hope she lives long enough to learn to trust her own gut feelings.

I have many unanswered questions about the mechanics of the haunting in this book. They seem to be physical beings that can touch you and interact with the physical world well enough to play softball. But they can also seemingly appear and disappear at will inside the house? And the beam of a strong flashlight is enough (in the book's most horrifying sequence) to melt a ghoul's flesh off and render him to dust (not before his eyeballs pop out and roll away) but the dog isn't affected by the flashlight? Is it because he's newly turned? Are the rules different for dogs?

Also like. How does this entire town work. Is it just their neighborhood that's full of ghosts? Are there ghouls working at the grocery store? Who manages the utilities? Aside from Mr. Dawes, we never see any other adults, although presumably they must be there at the end in time to kill(?) them all (?) with sunlight??

At one point, George Romero wrote a screenplay for a film adaptation, and I am deeply saddened that we never got to see it made. I'm 100% Here For This.

If You Liked This One, THESE Will Really Give You Goosebumps

If you enjoy the idea of a young heroine rescuing her clueless parents, may I pointed you toward Neil Gaiman's Coraline (book or movie) or the Miyazaki film Spirited Away?

(I know Gaiman is persona non grata. But Henry Selick's film adaptation is top-notch. Your choice whether you feel comfortable supporting that).

For the specific horror of a beloved pet becoming an aloof, living corpse, there is of course Stephen King's Pet Sematary.

As for stories about haunted houses, there are too many to count. For the vibes of this particular book, though, may I direct you to the OG 13 Ghosts, directed by William Castle in 1960. It has essentially nothing in common with the 2000s film of the same name. Instead, it features a family who get the opportunity to change their socioeconomic status by moving into a home they've seemingly inherited, only to discover it comes with more than a dozen ghosts...and that's the least of their worries. Compare and contrast with Sinister (2012) in which an author's insistence on moving his family to a haunted house is their undoing.

When was the last time YOU read Welcome to Dead House? Do you remember the ending any differently than I do?

[originalwinnercheesecake]

Hearing about the Hunger games continuation and thinking about all the Story continuations/prologues I wish we could get for The Underland Chronicles

Gregor's dad

I want To know what Gregor's dad (Who I want a name for... Steve, Lee, Heidi... What is his name? ) first trip to the underland was like. How was he found and brought to Regalia? We know he met Vikus and Luxa's Parents, SO what did he think of them? The Books say he stayed in Regila for two weeks (During which time he was very worried about his pregnant wife, children, and mother) and that he took a BB gun from the Museum. So I am guessing he knew about the war with the rats, but his family was in hell and he felt he had to get back soon. What happened during his capture.

I don't really want to know about his torturous time with the rats, but I would like some on how he was able to keep both hope and his humanity, the interesting relationship he is hinted to have had with Ripred in book 3 (He says Ripred used to feed him sometimes. He also was not scared of Ripred, Even though he was a rat and was "pretending" to attack his son). And lastly I want to know what coming home felt like for him and why, unlike his wife, the experiences did not make him fear or hate the underland.

Ripred

Speeking of Ripred I want All of his backstory, being a pup and growing up with his litter mates. Going into battle and finding out he is a Rager. How this made him famous all around the Underland, but also made him hated by enemies, and feared by allies, unless they needed him. What was going on when He tried to "Take over the fount with an army of Lobsters"? Seriously the Rat's don't even want The Fount. It is surrounded by rapids and sea monsters! What did was your interest Buddy?

Also I want to see his Mate, their family, and how their loss first broke him then made him change his stance on the war. Him building his relationship with the human side. Going up to the Overland to visit Libraries. His view of his relationships with Gregor and Lizzie and how it feels to him to being taking care of kids again after so long.

Hamnet

Up Next is Hamnet. Solovet and Vikus son, the beloved twin brother to the wife of the King/Queen, Brother in Law to the King (recently reread has me thinking they had more of a business relationship than a familiar one), the Regalian Army's most skilled soldier, and for a long time he was Solovet's heir to becoming captain of the Army, because everyone thought he was just like his mother. This is what everyone thought, but they thought wrong. Unlike Solovet Hamnet felt guilt. Guilt that drove him to speak against his mother in a war meeting to which she locked him in the dungeon for a month. When he was finally let out he went back to being obedient to her and buried his grief down, let it eat away at him, until one last horrible act (As a solider) destroyed him.

But give me Hamnet's complete story. Show him being a ruthless soldier and a fearsome killer on the field of battle, then coming home to be a loyal son, good friend, loving brother, and doting Uncle; becasue that is how many soldiers have to be. Show me him not being Okay but doing his best to hide that because that is all he could do. Then show me when everything went to far, and when he decided to leave Regalia, everything he knew and loved and run to a place that he and all his allies feared, for good reasons. Show me him missing his former friends and family. But also show me him meeting Frill and her deciding to take a chance and help him, him also taking chance and letting her (The books generally imply he wanted to leave his old life but did not expect to make anew one). Give me him learning about life in the jungle. How the animals there do not attack each other and instead employ a method of survival where first you hide, then you try to give a warning, then run. fight last. Show me him finding an overland women lost in the jungle and helping her. With the pair eventually forming a relationship and going on to have a child. Why did she never return to the Overland? Hamnet is a good father to Hazard, but you cannot tell me that he wasn't terrified during the entire pregnancy. Anything about Hamnet has to end where he ended. Having to once again fight in a pointless battle on behalf of Reglia, that the city once again brought on itself and got nothing out of. Our tragic beauty

Ares

Speaking again of Tragic Beauties I want Ares to. What kind of Stuff did he get up to to earn the reputation of a reckless, rule breaking, ...thrill seeker?...strength tester? To where he bonded with Henry to be able to get away with more. What were things like in the time HE and Henry were together. I don't think it was all bad. The Books clearly state that what hurt Luxa, Ares, Aurora, Nerissa the most was that they had loved Henry and could remember good things about him. Things that no longer felt the same after he betrayed them, and things they struggled with only becoming memories in the wake of his death. But the also show me his side of his and Gregor's bond, of him coming to love Gregor like he once loved Henry, and how their friendship helped him move on from the Trauma Henry put him through.

Nerrisa

This last one will never happen because its not really Susanna Collins style, but since none of this will happen, I want more Nerissa. What is it like for her loving her family and people so much, but knowing with her frailty and the Kingdom consistently being on the brink of war she cannot protect them. Show me what her visions are like for her. Note whatever we learned about Sandwhich I do believe Nerissa is an actual visionary. Her Visions of a bad and mysterious fate happening to Henry, Hamnet living for 10 years and building a diverse family, and Gregor being secretly being hidden away in the dungeon by Solovet...all came through.

Knowing that I have another question: Did she know suspect that Sandwhich was a fraud? Nerissa spends more time in the Prophecy room, analysis them than any other character. Many of the "misunderstood translations" are later "explained" by Nerissa. She got Gregor and the other questors off death row by replacing Boots with the Bane as the aforementioned "Baby" in the prohpecy and telling everyone: "they actually did complete the prophecy, you are are safe from the imaginary threats Sandwhich illueded to. Let them go and let's get back what's actually going wrong." When Greogor sobs about not understanding what the point of the journey to the jungle was (It had no point) and how him fulfilling the prophecy did not make everything better, Nerissa twist the prophecy to being about a war for the cure and reminds Gregor that because of what they discovered in the Jungle the council was forced to give the Gnawers the cure instead. Lastly she loves the one Prophecy that suggest hope for peace, even though its title is the only suggestion of it. On the day of the surrender she knowing her cousin will want to make the wrong choice about how to end this. So when she see's Ripred marked himself with an X (If Gregor and Luxa knew he did it himself there was no way Nerissa did not, she was always smarter than the pair of then) she decided to lend him a hand in getting everyone to believe he is the peacemaker, and they need to have peace. I really love the theory that Nerissa had realized what Sandwhich and the prophecies were and spent the books studying them, so she could try and mitigate the damages they caused.

[elisysd]

Double trouble

Masterlist

2 years and a half after Paris

Ethan and Julia - 27 years old

When Romy and Kyle had asked them to babysit their twins, Anna and Ziggy, they were enthusiastic and happy to spend time with their godchildren. They had not believed the parents when they had told them they were little terrors, Anna especially. It had started so well, both of them being absolute angels, behaving properly and listening to whatever Julia or Ethan were saying. It was perfect until Ethan had started to give them sweets, that’s when they turned into little monsters. Anna was running everywhere as Ziggy was hiding behind every furniture or curtains he could find, in hope to scare the couple. For the first time ever, Ethan discovered that he could, indeed, become breathless in his own flat.

Julia ended up taking the matter in her own hands, scolding them and putting them in bed, away from each other. When she finally came back to the living room she plopped down on the sofa, letting out a sigh of annoyance in Ethan’s neck.

“They are killing me. I don’t know how Romy and Kyle manage.”

“I have to admit, you reprimanding them was kind of hot.”

“Get your mind out of the gutter.” she mumbled. “They are exhausting. How is that possible? They look like angels!”

“I’d say they inherited that from Romy. An angel when you first meet her and a true pain in the ass when you actually get to know her.”

Julia chuckled.

“I wanted to tell you that it was mean and not true, but you’re right.”

“Of course I do.”

They cuddled on the sofa a while longer, finally enjoying their newly found peace when they heard the door of the guestroom open and footsteps approaching to reveal Ziggy, in his dinosaur pajamas, his blonde curls falling on his blue eyes. Julia opened her arms wide, welcoming him as he rushed to her.

“What is wrong, little guy?” she asked.

“Nightmare.” he cried.

Julia kissed his hair, gently rocking him back and forth and when he finally started to go back to sleep, Ethan transported him back to the bedroom. Julia followed them to prepare for bed as well. When Ethan joined her, she was reading in bed. He quickly changed before joining her and when he was settled, she put her book on her nightstand and looked at him.

“I think we are a great team. Look at us, it’s almost midnight, the kids are sleeping, nothing has been broken, the house has not been set on fire, dinner went well, they ate everything, for the most part they were behaving nicely until you decided to turn them into monsters with your sweets… I’d say, overall, good job partner.” she yawned.

“We’ll be great parents, one day.” he confessed and it’s only when he felt her shifting that he realized what he had just said. “I mean… not tomorrow. It’s just… I was thinking… you know what? Forget.”

“We never really talked about kids. Not recently, at least.”

“Because I knew you were focused on Somnis and me on Lamborghini… but, it would be lying to say that I don’t think about it more often since Romy and Kyle have twins.”

“I love Anna and Ziggy with all my heart but I’m not sure I’m ready for a kid of our own, yet. I’m not saying it will never happen, just that I prefer the fun side of it and not the responsibilities.” she explained.

“I’ve never really pictured myself with a kid… at the same time, I’ve never thought I would ever fall in love but here we are. But… I don’t think I would want a family with anyone other than you.”

“We have time to think about it.” she said, snuggling deeper in his embrace.

“But if one day we decide that we want a baby, I’m very excited about the practice aspect of the thing, you know.”

“We don’t have to want a baby to practice.” she replied playfully.

The next day, when Kyle and Romy came back to pick up the twins, they were astonished to notice how calm and obedient they were. They were sitting on the sofa, waiting to go back home while the adults were talking, not making a sound and enjoying a kid show on the tv.

“What did you give them for them to be so…. calm? We’re not used to that.” asked Kyle.

“That’s the uncle and auntie effect. We are the best.” Ethan shrugged.

“If they keep being this way, maybe we will consider letting you babysit them more often.”

“We would love to! They can be little devils but I think we know how to handle them.” Julia replied, excitedly.

“You had them one night… don’t wish it too loudly. We might take you up on that offer.” Romy joked, Ziggy in her arms.

When the family left and peace and quiet were back, Julia and Ethan felt lost.

“What are we supposed to do now?” she asked.

“I have a few ideas…. one of them being baby practice.” Ethan winked, making her blush.

“Maybe you’re right… maybe we should practice for when the moment will be right.”

“You know they say, practice makes perfect and I think we need a lot of practice.” Ethan came closer to her, scooping her in his arms as he carried her in the bedroom.

Author's note:

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator

[x-tetrodotoxin-x]

i am the person who sent the last ask, and i have finished playing the game and watched most of the anime, and im now a Changed Man.

pleaaaaaase can you give me your hcs on zack's time in the hell orphanage? that whole thing is really interesting, and it's a shame it's mentioned like once

Hii what fun! Yeah I can give some hcs. Honestly it's kind of a shame the orphanage wasn't really touched on for very long, but the shit we did get on it was dark.

So like i said I really think that orphanage was a front for human trafficking. It seems at least implied to be based on the caretakers mentioning the money aspect so often. What's fucked is it sounds like not only were the caretakers trafficking the kids, but the kids parents sold them to the orphanage to get rid of them, probably knowing the shit was shady as hell. It's pretty straightforward that those kids were abandoned there for money, it's stated in canon in at least the manga:

(Little Zack is so freaking adorable btw omg hes so tiny)

So like the whole aspect of the dead kids being buried in the yard; they clearly made Zack do that more than once. Totally hc that while yea some of those kids died of starvation, exposure, lack of medical attention, etc some of them were killed either on purpose as an example to the other children or on accident during incidents of abuse and Zack saw that a lot, contributing to his violent nature later on

ik he apparently started killing because he "saw a violent movie on tv" but I think that's bs and the caretakers were killing people in front of him or making him kill the other kids

Back on the programming shit, it's mentioned a lot that as a child Zack did whatever the caretakers told him to do despite not wanting to do it, hence him being referred to as a tool so often. So uh. Programming.

He's scared of fire, so they used fire to frighten him into doing things, following orders, being obedient, etc.

A lotta his abuse was like severe neglect and making him sleep outside, do a lot of physical labor, starvation, etc. I usually hc there was a lot of physical abuse too, especially early on to condition him into doing thinhs.

Sexual abuse but they targeted him differently in that way- like they really wanted to push the idea that he was a monster on him just because of his burns so incidents of noncon weren't as frequent as some of the other orphans, but were really horrific like refusing to touch him during it, using objects to do it, lots of degrading and insulting comments, not letting him bathe after, forcing him to isolate, etc.

If we hc the incidents of sa were less frequent with him (or done in private) the other orphans being kind of cold towards him not only bc they see and learn from the way the caretakers treat him, but in their mind he's "getting off easier because he's too hideous to sell off" so they project onto him, leading to more alienation.

It's not really clear when Zack got burned besides that it was shortly before his Mom abandoned him at the orphanage but if they were fresh they probably healed badly due to improper care- the orphanage caretakers refusing to let him properly clean and bandage his burns.

Also, like, the fact he still wears the bandages as an adult despite the burns being scars by now makes me think they probably forced him to keep the burns and scars covered up and made him wear the bandages even after his burns healed "as to not cause disgust to others" or some shit. He definitely wouldn't say it out loud, but he's self conscious about them.

I'm sure I've got more on that but like that oughta cover bases for now. So much dead dove potential with that orphanage, that series in general tbh omg

[strangerqueerthings]

I don't think some folks understand what it's like to be equal parts property, a third parent, a child and an adult without agency all in one package.

Perfection is demanded because you're a third parent to your siblings. You're an example. You're a proxy for your parents' methods because they can't/won't provide your siblings the care that should never be your job, your burden, your purpose.

They make it yours anyway, because it's convenient. It makes their life easier. They can work more for money to feed kids they never should have had, or go fuck off and do what they want while you raise their kids for them.

You're property, practically an indentured servant. You pay for your room and board by being a caretaker for siblings you didn't ask for. You're property to show off to friends and family because look at what a sweet little parent you are to your siblings! Look at how well you take care of them!

Gods help you if you're anything but happy and well put together when company comes over. Gods help you if you show any sign of discontent in front of your parents' friends.

Nothing can help you if it's your fault someone notices something is off.

You're an adult-you have to control your siblings, make sure they stay corralled, controlled, well behaved, quiet and obedient.

You're still a child- your siblings defy you and make choices you get the beatings for. Your parents say you're too young for certain privileges like a lock on your door or time to yourself, while in the same breath, say you're irresponsible for trying to have a life outside of the children you didn't bear, never asked to raise.

You want a lock on your door? You'll get one. On the outside, to keep you in.

Sometimes, your parents forget you're even in there, because if you speak up about basic needs like food or even using the fucking bathroom, you're punished for breaking the silence you were supposed to keep in your "exile."

Or, you get locked out of the house if you're old enough. They take your car keys, lock you out of the house and you have to find a way to deal with the heat or the cold, but if you leave the property, they call the cops and say you're a delinquent runaway, and the punishment for embarrassing them is worse than sleeping on the front porch in thirty degree weather.

It fucks you up. It messes up your head. It stunts your emotions, it screws with your emotional processing, your sense of worth as a human being. It makes you afraid to take up space, but makes you scared to death of being useless.

It's hard to see your worth when you're only ever seen, used, and treated like property instead of your parents' child.

It's hard to love yourself, let alone other people, when the people who were supposed to love you unconditionally only ever showed you cruelty.

It is absolutely no wonder Billy turned out the way he did, and it is a fucking tragedy that he was never given the chance to process, recover, and heal from the trauma of that abuse.

It's just as cruel to see people relate to him and call them monsters, without considering why they relate.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Picturing what a healthy Vulcan parent-child relationship would look like. I’m going to probably talk so much about Tuvok.

So the most famous Vulcan parent-child relationship in star trek is Sarek and Spock but this is not a typical parent-child dynamic. First of all, Sarek is shown to be a pretty terrible father whose three kids all have a negative relationship with him. But also Sarek and his family are not typical in that they are famous (for Sarek’s diplomatic status, his marriage to a human and his half-human child). Even the other relationships with his children are not typical. Michael is human and Sybok is ‘without logic’. From what I’ve seen (clips on youtube, take this with so many grains of salt) T’Pol and her mother are closer to being typical but again there’s some sort of extraordinary element in that there...seems to be some sort of conspiracy happening in the background of their relationship? Like some career drama? And also T’Pol is the first Vulcan to work closely with humans so that’s not typical. But they do seem to care much more for one another. (gritting my teeth) This is why I wish so badly that we saw or heard more from Tuvok about how he parents. But we can glean stuff of course from the episode ‘Innocence’ THE episode. Tuvok is very patient with the children. He tucks them in and agrees to ‘check the fire’ even though he knows it doesn’t need to be checked on and even says he sings his own children songs to go to bed. He also seems to expect them to be better behaved (more obedient) than they are, possibly because in Vulcans emotions are more controlled by their age. (Ex: A Vulcan child might not complain about not liking a situation beyond anyone’s control because they recognize it cannot be changed) In my headcanon I think it would take a lot of patience and structure to be a Vulcan parent. (I’ll literally never get over the fact that Tuvok apparently sung a 348 verse lullaby to his children semi-regularly) Vulcans are naturally very volatile and emotional so I imagine children are prone to such things, hence why Tuvok says they learn to detatch themselves from their emotions early. (He tells the children that he thinks they can do this as well so they probably do this younger than 10) He also says that he doesn’t understand why other cultures read their children frightening stories to get them to go to sleep which might be a Tuvok specific thing but also might be a Vulcan thing...trying to keep children calm. I also wonder if Vulcan parents being calm and unemotional helps with their children behaving the same way? Something very specific that struck me about Tuvok’s interactions with the children was that when they were scared of a monster, thinking that the other kids were eaten he said first “The other children are not within scanning range, that is all we know.” and then after they insisted he said “Yes, the existence of [a monster] is one possibility. But your emotional reactions are preventing you from accurately judging how unlikely that is to be true.” He doesn’t just say “That isn’t true.” to the kids, he acknowledges that it’s a possibility but he doesn’t think it’s very likely. Which just struck me as very...compassionate? Very logical but also something that I don’t think a human would do. I think a human would probably just try to convince the kids that the monster wasn’t real. Tuvok says that it’s possible the monster is real but that it’s very unlikely and so they should try not to focus on that possibility.  I’m also thinking about the times Tuvok is hugged by the children which he seems very surprised by. It’s possible that’s just because these are strange children or Tuvok specifically isn’t used to being hugged/doesn’t appreciate it but it could also be that hugging is not a typical response he expects from children their age and that hugging is not one of the ways in which Vulcans express affection towards their children. Again, it’s not like Vulcans don’t show affection. If singing someone over 300 verses of a lullaby isn’t affection I don’t know what is (and he also tucks the children in seemingly on instinct) but maybe that kind of physical affection (hugging, kissing) isn’t commonly practiced. Tuvok seems to take a lot of opportunities as teaching moments so I wonder if that’s also a form of affection. Like, instead of moments where a human would comfort a child (Ex: “I’m scared of a monster”) he uses it to teach.  Also, if Vulcan children have fairly good control of their emotions by the time they’re around ten or so - I wonder if there’s more...uh, equality? In that relationship, if that makes sense? Like for example, since Vulcan children wouldn’t bother with complaining about an unchangeable situation, would they be more likely to try to help Tuvok with the shuttle repairs instead of playing? Certainly they would at least just sit quietly, since I imagine Tuvok wouldn’t tell these kids to do something he wasn’t sure they could do based on his own experiences with his four children. Which again makes me so hungry for familial bond content...give it to me...I want to know about it!! Of course there’s Tuvok’s brilliant line about how he doesn’t “feel” anything for his children but they’re a part of him and he feels incomplete without them. Also when Neelix asks Tuvok about what it’s like to be a parent Tuvok says only the most dedicated should become parents in his opinion (and he has four children, he is the poster parent for dedication) and that he thinks about his children very often. This all says to me that Vulcan parent-child bonds are very strong and there is a lot of care in them, just maybe not what humans would recognize as such.

[soulonoscopys]

Dean Winchester & Emotion Socialization

Children's emotional development is influenced by parents' emotion socialization. Emotion socialization is the dynamic process through which caregivers communicate “appropriate” ways of expressing and interpreting emotions. For example, validating a child’s negative emotions teaches them that their emotions are valid. Criticizing a child’s expression of sadness and anxiety, on the other hand, communicates to the child that their feelings are not valid. Children who experience this tend to be lower in sympathy for others, less skilled at cooperating with stress, more prone to express anger and to engage in problem behaviors such as aggression. Sound familiar to someone we know?

Emotional competence consists of understanding emotions, expressing one’s emotions and emotion regulation. We learn this through how our parents socialize emotions to us. Parents influence the emotional environment around the child by either creating calm and safe spaces or chaotic and non-supportive spaces. The latter environment can contribute to emotional dysregulation in the child. So how did John socialize emotions to Dean?

How did John socialize emotions to Dean?

The earliest we see Dean being emotional after the fire is in the Christmas episode flashback when Sam asks about Mary. Dean has a lot of pent-up feelings about his mother’s death, feeling abandoned, feeling unloved and neglected by his father. All of these pent-up emotions burst out as yelling at Sam to “shut up” and demanding that he never talks about their mom. Dean doesn’t know how to regulate his emotions, much less identify what it is he is feeling. We can assume John never talked about Mary, never voiced his grief which socialized to Dean that they weren’t supposed to talk about it (this also makes sense since Sam doesn’t know his own age at the time of the fire or what happened during the fire). Sam says himself that they don’t talk about mom, and Dean immediately shoots up, the mention of his mother picking at an emotional wound that has never been given the space to heal.  

Continue under the cut:

As he grows older, he tries to mold himself more and more in John’s image. John doesn’t talk about his feelings with his sons, and rather when his kids are emotional, he tries to toughen them up. When Sam was scared of the monster in his closet, John gave him a gun, communicating the idea that he has to ‘fend for himself’. This is an example of John’s emotional parenting. As a teenager, Dean is better at understanding his own emotions – such as fear, anger, disappointment, but he still struggles in expressing them. In After School Special, we see teenage Dean as a popular cool guy, but in reality he seems sad – sad that his father is gone, and missing him. Dean is used to pushing down his emotions, and he continues to suppress these feelings as well. I can imagine that following John’s commands as a child, being the obedient son, didn’t happen without Dean pushing his own emotions and needs down. On his first couple of hunts, Dean would have had to suppress his paralyzing fear and put his trust in John, rather than feeling his own emotions and regulating them. His automatic reaction over time is to suppress his feelings - not listen to parts of himself - and follow John’s orders blindly.

Dean has constructed so much of his identity on John, that when his father dies, it is an extremely emotional and heavy blow. Dean doesn’t want to talk and rather struggles to even understand the multifaceted layers of his grief. Again, he does not want to talk to Sam about their lost parent. Sam’s prodding and insistence that he can see Dean’s pain angers Dean, whose pain has never been explicitly recognized. When Sam opens up about his conflicting feelings over John, Dean can no longer push his own down. They bubble up, and as he has never learned how to regulate himself – all the anger is directed at the car that he was so desperately fixing.

Without going too much into attachment style, I also want to point out that John placed a contingent on his love for Dean. Dean’s job is watching out for Sammy, and when Dean doesn’t measure up to this, he feels he has lower worth in his father’s eyes. This has taught Dean that his worth is connected to his usefulness. This affects his self-concept negatively. The negative emotions he feels are often connected to his view of himself and might be exacerbated - Dean often feels guilty for things that are objectively not his fault. Individuals like this who experience lots of negative affect are more likely to be insecurely attached (I’ve written more about Dean and insecure attachment here).

Despite the emotion dysregulation in Dean, I would argue that he does understand emotions in others. He is able to notice when John is upset and ask him if he’s okay. He is sensitive to John’s emotions even though he suppresses his own. Similarly, he seems attuned to Sam’s emotions. Although he may not always understand why his brother is feeling the way he does, he does quickly pick up when his brother is upset or when he’s angry.

Through hunting and through his own way of portraying emotions, John socialized that emotions are a hindrance. By following John's commands no matter what, Dean pushed his own feelings down, teaching himself that they are not valid. Especially not in the face of his father's commands. By suppressing and not having his emotions validated, Dean has struggled with emotion regulation ever since he was a child.

Over the seasons, Dean learns and grows emotionally – he is able to have a secure attachment with Bobby and open up to him, as well as share his feelings with Sam. Opening to Sam about hell is another step towards connecting with his own feelings, and actually getting them out in the open. And although Dean might not always agree with Sam’s validating response, Sam does validate Dean on several instances where Dean believes he is at fault (01x18; 04x10).

In 07x02 Bobby asks Dean how he is, and as usual Dean deflects and says he’s fine. However, he’s worried about his brother, Leviathans are on the loose, and he just lost Castiel. Bobby remarks this and makes Dean aware that he is there if he needs to talk.

This is very different to what we’ve seen of John. Bobby socializes that even tough men can talk about their feelings, and that Bobby will be here to listen – something Dean hasn’t had much of in his childhood. This is a contrast to John's socialization of emotion in which Dean's emotions are invalidated or put aside in favor of John's orders or emotions.

Part 2 - How Dean deals with emotions and how he socializes emotions to others

[malereader-inserts]

Let Your Soul Breathe

Fandom: Good Omens Pairing: Aziraphale x Male!Reader x Crowley Summary: Life is suffocating, sometimes you just have to stop and relax yourself. Word Count: 1,355 Warning: Undertones of Blood, Injury, Depression, Self Harm.

The supernatural isn’t really limited just to demons and angels.

You would know all too well about them, from a young age you were an unfortunate son of one of the greatest hunters in Europe. Meaning, that you were to be trained under them. You hated your childhood because you didn’t get much of one. 

The moment you were able to know what was wrong and right, you were taught how to handle a blade and how to handle a gun. You were still in school because your mother fought your father that you should have a basic education. She expected the best from you, after all, you came from a very strict household and as an only child - your parents looked to you as continuing the great name. 

You excelled in school as well as your parents teaching you each supernatural. You could argue that you had a boring childhood other than the exposure of blood and murder at a young age. As you got to high school, most weekends your dad would take you to hunts to learn about the supernatural physically.

By the age of sixteen, as you were ending high school, you had already made a name for yourself in the supernatural side of life. The kid that was merciless, the kid that had no emotion. 

You weren’t shy to kill, you never show any fear if you were caught out in a bad hunt. God wished to hate you but you were one of her dearest creation because after all, God is the only one who really truly see behind close doors.

How you often hate yourself, how you cry to yourself, how you would harm yourself if you did bad that day and your father wasn’t there to give punishment. 

Creatures often hide among the shadows and hear how your father abuses you, shouting and smacking you. Even the evillest creature would flinch at the sound of contact and they fear you because of how you respond.

“Thank you sir for correcting me,” You had a dull tone. 

When your father died alongside your mother, under mysterious condition, the supernatural had celebrated not for themselves but for you. Because tales had spread that you stood in the woods, unable to move, and actually appreciating the beauty of the woods.

For once, they heard you laugh.

They gave you a break, any monster would hate to admit that they cared a little too much about you. 

You continued your education in peace, well, as much peace you could give yourself. 

After all, you were still in that mindset that you were a hunter. So, even after excelling in your high school and sixth form, even earning your degree - you were still a hunter at heart.

As you grew up as a lonely man, you stumbled across a demon and an angel - the first to show empathy, well at least from the angel. And from years since you met, they were there pestering you.

Forming a friendship and a bond, eventually, a loving relationship. 

They taught you many things, and that you don’t have to shoulder the world. It was almost as if God was giving you a present, forgiveness for the pain you had to endure.

“(Y/n), darling?”

Aziraphale walks into your apartment with Crowley right behind him, next thing he saw was one of your boots barrelling towards him. Crowley caught it effortlessly as Azirpahale had dodged impact. 

“Leave me alone.”

They see that you have just returned from a hunt, you were tired and obviously angry. Most hunts, nowadays, were just you sleeping them off with minor injuries. It looks like you managed to cope with a bigger injury you had sustained, but you were in no mood for company.

“Yeah, no,” Crowley responded, throwing the boot to the ground as he grabs Aziraphale’s wrist to follow you to the bedroom. 

“Clingy,” You shouted at them, slamming your bedroom door at their faces.

As they open the door, they managed to catch on to your slight muffled moan, telling them that you had jumped on your head as you lie down. Aziraphale sighs, shaking his head as he struts towards you.

“I’m cleaning you up, you cannot be in bed in these filthy clothes.”

“It’s had worst on here.”

“Like what?” Crowley asked.

“Like cu-”

“I think that’ll be enough,” Aziraphale interrupts as he lugs you up into a sitting position, “Crowley, my dear, fetch some clean clothes.”

“Sure thing, angel.”

You rolled your eyes, for a demon Crowley is surprisingly obedient, though you allowed Aziraphale to strip you down. He cringes at your wounds as he held his hand over your body, allowing his miracle to close them up for easy healing. 

Aziraphale does not mention the cuts upon your arms, nor he mentions wounds looking like they were self-inflicted upon the thighs, he silently heals them knowing that he wouldn’t be able to miracle away the scars that will be left behind.

Aziraphale hands you to Crowley, who is less gentle than the angel as he dresses you up. Though, he doesn’t miss the chance to give you a boop on the nose and a sweet peck upon your lips. 

“Bad hunt?” Crowley asked, getting himself comfy at your side.

“Bad day, bad week, bad month, bad lifetime,” You exclaimed, though there was no anger behind your words anymore, there wasn’t the venom that they were greeted moments before, “I cannot wait for the day I die.”

“Now, don’t be saying that-” Aziraphale scowls at you, but you merely waved him off.

“You often forget that I am just human, I will die eventually. And if not by my own hands than so be it rather a creature of the unnatural.”

“Sweetheart, that’s the depression talking-”

“Then let it talk, let it infest my mind and rot the insides. I rather be dead than live this shit life.”

Crowley gives Aziraphale a pointed look, “Listen, babe, angel doesn’t have the best of words on this situation, he might come off as patronising but he means well.”

You grumbled as you turn your head to not look at your boyfriends, Crowley looks at Aziraphale who motions him to continue to talk.

“But, you shouldn’t be wishing your life away, after all, what is life if not lived at it’s fullest?”

“I never had the opportunity to do so,” You reminded them as Aziraphale placed excited hands upon your knees, making you look at him.

“Then, start now! It’s never to late too allow your soul to breathe. Tomorrow is a new day and I’m sure that the vampires, werewolves, and whatnot can find a new hunter to fight.”

“I can piss them off, entertain them, you know? You should really invite me to your hunts, babe, we’ll have a real good laugh.”

“Crowley, not now!” Aziraphale snaps as you chuckled, “Why don’t you sleep, we’ll be awake to watch over you.”

You were going to argue but there was a look in Aziraphale’s eyes that you did not want to tick off. You sighed as you shuffled down in the bed to lie down. Aziraphale lets out a joyful noise, you now understand why your demon boyfriend can be so obedient because your angel boyfriend can be terrifying. 

They sit in silence, waiting to make sure you have drifted off to sleep as Aziraphale and Crowley lie on either side of you. Crowley messing with your hair as Aziraphale had a book on his lap.

“Crowley, dear, do you think he’ll be okay?”

“He’ll be fine, (Y/n) is a strong lad,” Crowley replies, “Plus, he has us two, who better than us to take care of our dearest boyfriend.”

Aziraphale gives the demon a suspicious look as Crowley lazily smiles him off. Aziraphale knows that Crowley is up to something and yet he was somewhat terrified to know what it was.

So, you and Aziraphale pretend that you don’t know why the vampires, werewolves and whatnot are scared of a certain red hair snake demon, though it does fill you with entertainment to Aziraphale’s dismay.

[writteninverses]

He could still see her, how she was begging for her life, down on her knees with her hands together, a sign of desperation. The ghost of Barty’s hand on his shoulder was still there, encouraging him to do it. It was easier to get the job done than to make Voldemort angry, and Regulus knew how to behave to survive, he had been doing that his whole life. Hell, he had gotten in that situation because of it, he had been too obedient, too quiet, not brave in the slightest. The younger Black tried to be the perfect heir in every possible way, to fill up the responsibility his rebel brother had left.

Regulus was nervously biting his nails, avoiding scratching his left forearm, it was still a bit sore. He covered it with his sleeve, so that James couldn’t see it when he decided to fucking show up.

This was going to be the last time they saw each other, Regulus was determined to tell James everything, he couldn’t handle the pressure of knowing so much and not doing anything to save the love of his life. He knew that James was expecting a child from Lily, and the Dark Lord had made his decision to end that poor baby’s life because of that stupid prophecy. Therefore, Regulus had to tell James, ask him to run away and never come back. They had time to do so, and if his plan of getting the horcruxes worked, he could do something good for once and save them all, even if he couldn’t save himself.

James showed up 10 minutes to their meeting spot; they were at James’ old house. His parents had already died, but instead of staying in that house, the soon-to-be-parents decided that it was better to move to another neighbourhood.

Regulus couldn’t understand why he was feeling butterflies in his stomach, he was 20 years old, for fuck’s sake, he wasn’t a teenager anymore to experience silly feels for that boy with rounded glasses. When James finally approached him, they greeted each other formally.

“Hi, Regulus. I’m really sorry for arriving so late, you know I can’t just simply get out of my house without a reason, so it was hard to convince Lily. Wanna come inside? It’s better if no one sees us together. We have to be careful these days,” and he opened the door, waiting for the other boy to go first.

Regulus didn’t say anything, he wanted to go straight to James’ bedroom, like he used to do not so long ago, but he had to control himself and go to the living room, sitting on the couch.

“Erm… how is Lily doing? With the pregnancy and everything.”

“Oh, well, you see… She’s been really stressed, always tired and worried. Sirius and Remus try to come over as much as they can, but they can’t do much. We didn’t plan this to happen, it’s mental to want to have a baby in the middle of a war, even worse if a crazy monster is threatening your unborn child. It’s been really, really fucking hard, Regulus. I always try to be optimistic and cheer her up, but it’s just not the time to be happy about this. And now Marlene is dead, I don’t know if you’ve heard. She was one of our best friends.--” He wiped the tears that were coming out of his eyes and took a deep breath-- “please, just tell me what you wanted to tell me, I don’t think you are here to hear me talk about my feelings,” James let out a breathy smile, to lessen the tension.

Regulus swallowed and looked at James. “I honestly don’t know how to tell you this.”

“Just say it, when we were younger we told each other everything.”

Regulus nodded and took James’ hand. It felt so natural, so pure, almost too intimate. With the other boy’s hand on his, he rolled his left sleeve up, showing the newly made dark mark.

James clenched his jaw and shook his head several times.

“No, no, no. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me now, Regulus. Tell me it’s a fucking joke right now. What the hell?” James was now red and furious, almost shouting, which scared Regulus. He stood up.

“You don’t know how hard it is to be in the Black family, James. You’ve been very lucky in that department, but others don’t have the same luck! I never promised you I wouldn’t join them.”

“They are evil, Reg. I know you, you are not like them. You… you were my everything, my love and my life, when did my everything decide to join those who want to destroy our world?” James followed Regulus and stood up too.

“Don’t fucking say all that bullshit now, you don’t have the privilege to call me “love”. You chose her, James, not me. So don’t try to make me feel bad because of what we used to have!”

“Fine! I’ll just call you what you are: a killer. A fucking murderer. You killed Marlene, right? And you feel guilty now because you know she was my friend! Is that what you wanted to say?”

“Yes. I killed her, and right after I got the dark mark.”

“Like some kind of gruesome ritual to make you worthy of that mark?”

Regulus nodded. James’ breath was irregular, as he was getting more and more angry.

“You ungrateful bastard! I loved you, you coward!” James collapsed in the other boy’s arms, while trying to slap him, failing miserably. He couldn’t harm his precious boy.

Regulus hugged him, holding onto dear life, his life, to comfort him, somehow.

“Can the killer in me… tame the fire in you?” Asked Regulus shyly.

“I am sick of the chase, of all of this. I should be mad at you. But I’m stupid in love. And there’s nothing I can do.” James’ hand traveled to Regulus’ cheek and he kissed him. It was the last kiss, a goodbye one. They needed to get that off their chests.

Regulus ran his hand through the messy hair of his golden boy while James kept kissing him passionately. They both started to cry. Everything hurt too much. They were so young and they had suffered enough for 3 lifetimes.

James slowly broke the kiss and got up from the floor.

“I won’t tell anyone that you are one of them now, that’s my last favour, because I can summon the Order and kill you in this instant.”

“Thank you, I guess.”

“Don’t ever look for me again, this is over, forever. I don’t want to see you.”

“Fine, I’ll do that, but please, James, be careful. Don’t do anything stupid, always have your wand ready, alright? Promise me?”

“I promise.”

And with that, Regulus left the house.

He died trying to save the world.

And James didn’t fulfill his promise.

originally posted on Twitter and ao3

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Drifters ch.9 (spicyhoney)

Summary: Enter the Other Brother. Blue, welcome home! You might be in for a surprise!

Tags: Spicyhoney, Violence, Rescued Child, Medical Experimentation, Babybones

Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

Edge was not a Monster who cared very much for surprises. In his experience, they never led to anything good, not to birthday parties or unexpected gifts, but rather ambushes and dust. He preferred careful planning to the seat-of-the-pants schemes that his brother often came up with, every step made with strategy in mind.

He couldn’t say for certain if Blue was the same way, although he suspected he may be. His understanding of how the alternate worlds worked was more for the layman rather than the professional, but he wasn’t blind to the personality traits that he and Blue shared, the sort of twist in nature vs nurture that any sociologist would love to explore.

He had a fair idea of how he might react to finding this clown car of a domestic scene in his own living room and if he’d known that Stretch hadn’t even mentioned he and Red were here, much less the baby, he would have at least sent Blue a blasted text.

That might have at least braced him and given him a chance to come up with a better question than simply, “Is that a baby?”

His brother, ever the peacemaker, chose that precise to speak up, scoffingly, “sure can tell you two are brothers, ya share the same brain cell, your bro said the same damn thing. yeah, it’s a baby, good on you for noticin’.”

“blue!” Stretch scrambled upright and his bright grin was too wide, too wrong, tinged with poorly hidden guilt. “sorry, bro, i was gonna call and it slipped my mind. yeah, hey, everyone showed up on our doorstep yesterday. check out the snow princess, cute, huh?”

That much at least was the truth, but Blue didn’t seem to have heard a word of it. This wasn’t quite the reaction Edge had been braced for; he’d expected Blue to make a beeline for the baby, had been resigned to handing her over for plenty of excited cuddling and cooing.

This was something else entirely. The normal stars of his eye lights were overly bright, flashing between blue and yellow with seizure inducing intensity, set into a face that was like stone. He barely glanced at the rest of them past a brief, bizarrely sympathetic glance at Edge. The anger in his gaze was for his brother alone.

Stretch seemed equally confused, his oversized smile faltering, “bro?”

“How could you?” Blue said, his voice carrying despite its deadly softness.

“wha…me?” Stretch looked around the room as if perhaps another person had appeared, that it was to this stranger his brother spoke that way. He shrank back as Blue abruptly moved, slamming the door shut as he stalked over to the sofa, his small body radiating fury.

“How could you!?” Again, louder this time, not quite a shout but verging on one.

“coulda woulda shoulda? bro, what the hell—”

Blue ignored that, stamping his foot and sending out a spatter of rapidly melting snow from his boot to dampen the carpet. “Irresponsible!”

Stretch’s face was falling, going oddly blank, his false humor fading. Next to him, Red looked equally perturbed. “now hang on a sec, short stuff, ain’t no reason to go off on the honey bun.”

“Stay out of this!” Blue snapped and for a wonder, Red jerked back, his mouth snapping shut. His eye lights briefly guttered, leaving his sockets dark and black, returning only when Stretch spoke up next to him.

“yeah. stay out of this,” Stretch agreed, softer but no less sharp and from the look he shot Edge, he was included in that statement.

Edge said nothing and even the child was silent, a dab of runny banana sliding down her chin as she stared at the Swap brothers with wide sockets. Even if he’d wanted to intrude, this argument was between brothers and it was an unspoken rule through all the ‘verses that one did not interfere with brothers.

Despite the surface similarities, none of their relationships were exactly the same. Edge knew all too well that if he railed at Red over his laziness, his brother never took it to heart or soul. He let Edge rant, blowing off the steam that built within him throughout the day and his frustrated insults rolled off Red like water off the proverbial duck. The only fallout tended to be yet another sticky note added to the continuing line trailing away from a single, absurd sock.

Stretch was, well, lacking waterproofing. More like Edge in that way, truth be told, and if Edge could snipe at his brother all day long for his ridiculous puns and lazy ways, one genuine return jab from Red often left him deeply wounded, all the more painful for its unerring accuracy and rarity.

He wondered how he’d handle being under the weight of that much visible disappointment. Edge almost always agreed with Blue’s assessments of his brother’s behavior, but his delivery needed work and the unexpected impulse to protect Stretch from that disappointment took him off guard. He wanted to scoop Stretch up like he did the baby, hold him close, cradle him in his arms and protect him, and that was ridiculous, utterly; he was an adult, older than Edge, and yet the urge remained.

In the end, Edge could only look away, stirring the gloopy remains of the banana while the two brothers whispered furiously behind him.

“Of all the careless, irresponsible—” Blue took a deep breath, let it out, muttering out, “This is all right, this is fine. We can deal with this.” He scrubbed his gloved hands over his face and then squared his shoulders as he said, “You still should have called me.”

“probably,” Stretch agreed, and perhaps the unexpected storm had passed. He relaxed back into the sofa, the tension in the room easing. “didn’t want to interrupt your important training.” He flashed Edge a sharp glance and he tried to look as if that was the exact reasoning.

“Yes, well, that’s true,” Blue admitted. “And I appreciate you thinking of that, but next time…well, there probably won’t be a next time of this, I should hope.” Any lingering worry that Blue might object to them staying for a time vanished as Blue finally swung back to the baby, this time with a familiar, bright smile on his face as he gushed out, “Which is a shame because she is simply adorable!”

He rounded the coffee table with the haste Edge originally expected, grabby hands extended, and the moment Blue bent down to reach for her, the baby burst into sobbing howls, squirming away.

Automatically, Edge swung her up, settling her against his shoulder and patting her back gently as he soothed her with a bewildered, “There, there, it’s all right. What’s wrong?”

Blue looked as if he might burst into tears himself, stumbling back a step and his eye lights faded from stars to unhappy circles. “I didn’t mean to—"

They both turned to look at Red as he let out a harsh laugh. “what’s wrong? he scared the shit out of her coming in like that, that’s what’s wrong,” Red snorted contemptuously, “don’t you know nothin’ bout babies? you’re almost as bad as my bro.”

“Not really,” Blue admitted. Shame filled his expression as he shuffled his feet. He noticed he was still wearing his boots and sat on the floor to pull them off, carrying them over to the door and automatically straightening the other shoes before adding his. “Most of my experience with children has been seeing them from a distance.”

That gave Edge a start and he realized he’d been expecting Blue to have some sort of knowledge about childcare, though he wasn’t sure why. This world was softer and tended towards kindness, but that hardly meant it gave them any innate parenting skills.

“Well!” Blue straightened, propping his hands on his hips. “I’m sure that the Magnificent Sans can learn!”

“sure you can, bro,” Stretch said, cautiously, and that Edge could understand, being very familiar with Blue’s brand of determination.

“yeah, well, here’s your first lesson,” Red slouched back on the sofa, picking at his gold tooth with a sharpened fingertip. “babies don’t like it when ya shout.”

“yep, that’s a good place to start. you know what, i’m gonna get everyone some coffee,” Stretch announced and fled to the kitchen, the coward.

Blue paid that no mind, already came back over determinedly when he spied the bowl Edge had hastily shoved on the table. The child was watching him warily as Blue picked it up, taking hold of the little spoon. “Here, let me help!”

Before Edge could stop him, Blue tried to poke the filled spoon into her mouth. The child refused to part her teeth, leaving a smear of mushy banana across them, and Blue’s brief confidence sagged, “Oh. Um. Maybe she’s not hungry?”

“Maybe.” Edge took the bowl back and immediately she began bouncing eagerly in his lap, mouth opening wide as she made urgent little sounds.

“fuck, you two are morons,” Red snorted, because of course he would stay to bear witness. “she don’t know you. kid is small, she ain’t blind. she ain’t gonna take her banana goop from just any plain asshole, she likes an asshole she knows.”

“Yes, thank you for clarifying that for us all, brother,” Edge said sourly. Somewhat gentler, he said to Blue, “Sit with me. Let her see you, it may make her more comfortable.”

“yeah, hold out a hand and let her sniff ya, that’ll do it,” Red chuckled meanly as Stretch came back out with a tray of mugs. He set it down before smacking Red on the back of the skull.

“will you cool it on the running commentary? let them work it out.”

Red rubbed his head and scowled, but he accepted the coffee cup when Stretch handed him one. “just callin’ it how i see it.”

“yeah, well, if they give up on trying, that leaves you as mary poppins, smartass.”

“good point. my teeth are sealed.”

The child grudgingly allowed Edge to settle her back on the pillows with the unspoken promise of more food. She watched Blue warily the entire time she was eating, but he made no move towards her. He sat obediently still the entire time, his gloved hands clasped tightly together in his lap as if to stave off any impulse to scoop the baby up. If nothing else, her attention on Blue kept her from messily sharing any more of her banana.

When the bowl was scraped clean, Edge wiped the child’s chubby face clean with a damp cloth then settled her back into his lap. “You see, little one?” he told her softly, “Blue is a friend.”

“I am! I really am! Want to come here?” Blue slowly held out his hands without getting too close, waiting with impressive patience. The baby looked from him to Edge, and he tried to look encouraging.

Slowly, she held up her arms to Blue. He lifted her a little awkwardly, but managed to get her settled into the curve of his arm without intervention.

“There we go!” To Edge’s relief, Blue kept his enthusiasm at a minimum, though he practically vibrated with excitement. Almost immediately, the baby began to loudly babble and if he didn’t know better, Edge would say she was scolding Blue for his part in the earlier brotherly dispute.

Soon enough, her chattering dwindled to murmurs, her sockets growing heavy, then closing entirely as she slept. Edge let Blue keep holding her as he gratefully took up his own cup of coffee and never had caffeination been so delicious.

Blue only looked at her in awe, lightly touching each of her tiny, perfect fingers. “She’s beautiful,” he whispered, turning the full force of his starry eye lights onto his brother, “but honestly, Papy, you should have told me you two were expecting a child!”

Stretch choked, spilling coffee down the front of his shirt. “wait, what? that’s why you were so pissed off?”

“I would have thought you would be more cautious about that sort of thing, but I suppose it hardly matters now,” Blue said philosophically. “You still should have called me though when she arrived!”

“but we didn’t…!”

“Here we have a new baby, and I wasn’t even able to give her a baby shower!”

“She’s already had a bath,” Edge said, confused. This was going entirely too fast and he was not in top form, how could they possibly have been expecting her, there was nothing about the past two days that Edge had expected in the slightest.

Rescue came from an unexpected and wholly unwanted source.

“fuck’s sake, blueberry, she ain’t their kid!” Red snapped.

“Don’t swear,” Edge and Blue said, nearly in unison. Then Edge nearly choked on his own coffee as realization clicked with the force of an open-handed slap. Blue thought that the baby was his, not simply his responsibility but his own and Stretch’s. Suddenly his earlier sympathetic look made more sense, by Asgore’s horns, of all things he could believe…!

“She’s not?” Blue asked, confused. “But, then where did she come from?”

“where the fuck do you think, numbnuts?” Whatever the patience Red usually had for Blue seemed to have found its limit. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve, all but slamming his mug down on the coffee table, “she wasn’t flown in by the stork, kid was homegrown just like the rest of us and she’s got the fucking serial number to prove it!”

“Oh.” There was a wealth of meaning in that single, soft word, too many to properly interpret. Blue looked down at the baby sleeping in his arms, his fingertips hovering over her rib cage without touching, right over where her pajamas hid the healing scar. The same scar his brother and Red still had, faded and blurred, but still there. Then he wordlessly handed her to Edge, climbing to his feet and walked determinedly over to his brother.

Stretch only watched warily, allowing Blue to take away his half-empty coffee cup to shove it on table, ignoring the splash of coffee that slopped out and spread across the wood. He slid his small, strong arms around him, holding onto his brother tightly.

“I’m so sorry,” Blue said simply. The words were muffled, buried into Stretch’s coffee-stained hoodie. “I shouldn’t have been so upset with you and I certainly should have let you explain.”

“aw, bro, it’s okay—” Stretch hugged him back, resting his cheekbone on top of Blue’s skull.

“It’s not,” Blue said, the words tainted with the hint of a sob. “I assumed you were being irresponsible, and I shouldn’t have.”

“not like i don’t give you a reason for that.”

“There’s a difference between a messy room and, well, this.” They stayed there a moment longer, holding on tight, and when Blue drew away, he swiped a hasty sleeve over his damp sockets. “Now!” Blue clapped his hands together softly. “I think we should discuss living arrangements.”

“We can,” Edge said, quietly firm, “but I hardly think that will be necessary. We won’t be here for long.”

The sudden trio of protests was loud enough to wake the baby and Edge turned away, bouncing her in his arms as he tried to soothe her back to sleep. He’d known there would be objections, but he couldn’t allow them to sway him. This child was his responsibility, his choice, and his alone.

He had a duty to her and Edge was determined to see it done.

TBC

[furiousgoldfish]

This makes it obvious that what they really want is to enjoy the display of pain and terror, they get satisfaction out of it and get a rise out of humiliating you for it, which is gross disgusting high-school bully energy that has no place whatsoever in parenting. A part of you can tell that they get pleasure from hurting you and you don't react if you can help it, because you do not want to give them the pleasure of knowing they hurt you.

The other thing is that they condition you to stop reacting, because of course you'll stop doing something you're consistently harmed for, but what they really want is for you to react however is convenient for them in the moment. If you protesting, crying, and arguing back makes them look bad, or feel bad, then it's forbidden and they threaten you to make you stop it. But if they're looking to get a high out of hurting you, then they want to see the reaction, they want to see you in tears and in pain, they won't stop until they get there, sometimes they'll go further even after they broke you. Just for their personal pleasure, because they feel entitled to get off on harming a kid. And then they expect that same kid to never react this way if there's anyone watching, or when it could implicate that the kid is scared of you, or has survived trauma at your hands.

For a child, who doesn't get this nuance because it's so insanely sadistic and evil, it's impossible to tell when they're expected to cry in pain, and when they're expected to act like nothing happened, if a kid can tell there's pleasure being taken in harming them, they'll try to act tough and endure it. That's the third thing, the abusive parents will tell you that you need to be tough and endure everything thrown your way, but if you use the toughness to ignore their threats, to stay stoic when they intent to harm you, they get so fucking mad and go overboard to break you. Again they're asking you to be tough so they don't have to deal with any aftermath of trauma they've inflicted on you, but when they need you to be scared, obedient, submissive out of terror, then toughness is an actual problem and needs to be broken out of you. You can't fucking win with these monsters.

my parents: punishing and humiliating me under duress and torture for having any kind of reaction, for crying, for complaining, for getting angry, trying to fight back, breaking down or showing any kind of pain and fear

also my parents: increasingly annoyed when they can't easily get a reaction out of me and stooping to worse and more horrid provocations and violence to still be able to get a reaction

[allexteriordark]

Can I just ask why you're so interested in the john/dean dynamic? I just never found it interesting, John wasn't in the show enough for me to grow an interest, so I'd like to hear it from your pov :)

@ghost-go-roasty-mctoasty let me start off by saying i cannot possibly explain or phrase this in a way that's better than what others have said.... refer to nikki fearlastyear and bug familyhorror for real 🥴 but i get that you're asking why i'm like this so

i'm gonna put a read more since i'm incapable of being succint. i just rambled on and you'll have to take it because that was enough time spent on this. and like, i might not be satisfied, might not feel like i conveyed what i wanted to, but i don't feel like i can pull anything better out of myself lol and that's okay

and the answer, the relationship i have with my dad is certainly something and i'm projecting 💗 no but the key to dean and john is that a lot of it is off-screen. we're told about the night azazel paid a friendly little visit, about john being a vietnam vet, an ex-marine who just wanted to settle down, about sam and dean's childhood, about dean's problems with identity and self-worth. the show tells us a lot of things about them, just not outright. a lot can be deduced imo!!

the appeal is this: dean was devoted to his father, served him as well as he could, idolized him, despite john being absent and despite how he treated his sons. like,, john was his god. (i don't see this kind of intense devotion often in media when it comes to fathers - or it doesn't do it for me?? why i latched onto them probably has something to do with john's character. anyway,)

i feel like i was shown enough of john to... find him interesting enough to make me think about him and how he raised his boys? from very early on, john was dean's hero. as @familyhorror said, the night mary died intertwined their lives, not just because trauma, but because from that point on they were sharing this mission: protect sam, avenge mary and the sanctity of family.... i'm interested in dean's space in this family, in this unit, when the three of them were together (especially with me having a shitty family like i had to raise my sister and protect her from my parents sometimes. relatability points!!)

i wonder how dean and john operated when sam, the disobedient son, the one who didn't put family first, left them. that was a shared pain, shared betrayal to an extent. and from when sam left to when john went missing, it was just the two of them. that's all dean and john had 🥴 i'm probably definitely underestimating how many friends and acquaintances john had (pastor jim was definitely in the picture from early on..) but the stanford years couldn't be insignificant!! their relationship must have intensified. so they were sergeant and soldier, but also john, broken man on a revenge mission, and dean, his only true companion and provider of comfort.... tugging at john's coat when he was sad (above the clouds of pompeii by bear's den is actually about them just so everyone knows) and telling his dad it'll be okay after he came home from a hunt. dean did that, when he was small o_o i doubt he stopped wanting to care for his dad

sam wasn't elevated to the level in the family dean was elevated to. because dean's the oldest. the parent's supposed to provide the comfort, children can't possibly make good friends for their parents, no matter how much the parent needs a supporter. "i put too much on your shoulders, i made you grow up too fast. you took care of sammy, you took care of me" !!! dean turned into his dad's partner, in a way, because john needed one. total coincidence that my mom also thinks i can care for her like a friend and forgets that i'm her daughter ahaha <3

with mary dead, someone also needed to do the tasks traditionally assigned to like, the mom. i just doubt john always did the laundry and cleaned up when there was a mess and acted as a health care provider and did the dishes, it makes more sense to me that he passed most of the khmm ""duties of a mother"" off to dean... i mean. john definitely didn't do a lot for the comfort of his boys, in the name of nurturing them.... but dean had a baby brother, he had to make things better for his brother, i feel like when john left a spot empty, when something wasn't done, he stepped in. sometimes. this doesn't mean dean was a good wife replacement or that he was the only one who cooked or anything like that lol i'm just saying that dean definitely took on more responsibility than a kid's supposed to and his relationship with his father existed mostly so john's needs would be met. he wasn't just a son to john, that's what i think of them

also once sam left i think john could just, pull dean even deeper, have him be more obedient, on the same page as john - i'm doing this for your perfect angel of a mother and for family and for sammy, i'm doing this to you for your own good, because the world is a dark place and i love you so much. and isn't it interesting, dean thinking the abuse is justified? that john was right to leave them to go on hunts and to move them from motel to motel, eradicating any chance of connection they could've had outside of family and any chance of feeling like they have a home? and of feeling safe.. that's another thing: when dean's a kid all he knows is something killed his mom, there's monsters out there, but dad's gonna make it better :) of course he clung to a perfect image of his father and he stayed with john and modeled himself after his dad. (of course that's interesting to me)

dean loved like his father, learned love from him, because he learned everything else from him too actually, and he became his father. isn't that level of devotion insane. i don't just mean the music, the jacket, the car, or the lifestyle, or the alcoholism and violence later on, i mean more like, the very foundations of who dean is. his morals, his being is based on john. so his entire life his father never left him :) there's something religious about this, and also something that reminds me of platonism: john being the idea of absolute good and true, that dean wants to take inside himself,,, as much of john as possible. he could never be good and heroic enough though (the american hero he was trying to measure up to is like. not real ofc). dean sold his soul for sam, even though that's what john did for him and it was a terrible burden, to be saved, through sacrifice, but he couldn't help it :) and he comes back from hell and is told that his father lasted longer, could withstand more, he'll never be the hero john was.

so, the abuse was passed on (dean violating sam's autonomy because he can't live without sam, and, other stuff like that. i couldn't list everything dean did that was fucked up <3) and the selling your soul for your family, for your kid, was passed on!! horrific, turning into your parent and fucking someone up the same way they fucked you up. i'm very compelled by the winchester family and what they do to each other, because, that's family, to me at least, it's horrendous and the only thing that matters :/

and this is the part where i talk about my dad 🤪 so get this: i fucking hate him. i despise him, i want him dead, the intensity of it scares me. he turns me into something ugly! i can't forgive him and there's really nothing to salvage here, in what i have with him, and i've thought about it a lot. for a while i thought, okay, then i just let him go, see, it's done, i don't care about him, no more pain!! he's nothing to me he can't hurt me! but then turns out that i can't do that, because now that he's dead to me, i have to mourn him. i can't let go, family doesn't work like that! haha silly me!

so i miss the father i never had, and will never have, so much. it's worse that i have no connection to him, in a way, than if it was a love-hate thing. i think it makes sense that i'd latch onto dean winchester's intense connection to his father. i'm envious as fuck :)) <3

i hope you got a bit of a look into what compels me about dean and john. if you have any questions though, if something wasn't clear, i'm happy to explain anything!!

[flyingupward]

Venice the Musical Sentence Starters

all sentences taken from the lyrics to the musical venice. feel free to change pronouns, etc.

Act I

“All I hear is ‘left, right, left, right, left, right’.”

“I am your lifeline, your forward and hindsight.”

“To tell this story is a means of resistance.”

“Many no long living for not keeping themselves hidden.”

“This story needs a voice so I will oblige.”

“Once had freedom then we lost it.”

“What’s the price of living this life?”

“Darkness fell, our freedom taken.”

“We were taught to be proud to be from here.”

“The government dissolved and a corporation crept.”

“Twenty years of occupation has taught us better.”

“Left for dead, stuck here while the wealthy fled.”

“Bombs exploded round our heads. Get some rest.”

“If we don’t demand more from our lives, how can we expect our kids to thrive?”

“Separate, we are powerless, but together, we can rise.”

“After all of these years writing to you, I’ll finally be home by your side.”

“Is this the day that we can say you paved the way?”

“Today is the day that we find out our fate.”

“Home at last, our children reunite.”

“A divided nation torn in two demands reunion.”

“I hope you let us tell you a little story exploding onto the present.”

“I am alone, my own resistance.”

“Damned if I live this life waiting on the sidelines.”

“One time fool me and it’s shame on you. Two times fool me and it’s shame on me. Three times? There’s never three times.”

“I’ll be the last man standing when the world collapses.”

“Got them thinking my heart is gold.”

“I’ll never show what I’ll do to take the last stand.”

“She’s an illusion he’s choosing.”

“Peaceful revolution is always bound to be polluted.”

“Watch me stay focused, forever unnoticed.”

“The always obedient dog by your side’s got the worst bite.”

“The dream was better than the letters that we wrote would allow.”

“Could you believe those words could make us unite?”

“Is this our shared prayer to the morning light?

“Children write and hearts explode and dreams invite us to places we’d never go.”

“Someone so convicted in her beliefs, it can be hard to see.”

“The world was at war but this country doesn’t have to be.”

“We could be decent and generous. Don’t let hate better us.”

“Two worlds collide and fill his soul with wisdom we will never know.”

“This is the ballad of mismatched brothers.”

“I feel the void I left behind.”

“Am I strong enough to hold the weight of all their souls?

“From what I know this road is golden and I know I believe in you.”

“And so we sleep, hoping that the bombs don’t drop on our streets.”

“What you don’t see is the bomb that’s ticking.”

“I am hardly in step with your emotional dance.”

“Uninvited, unfound, in this hell of a home, opportunity knocks and it’s time to go.”

“There are many different weapons in this game called war.”

“The people who couldn’t leave, they were forced to accept whatever devil knocks at your door.”

“This is no fear of death if you never get old.”

“She was dropped on the city like a renegade, never with the promise of these better days.”

“Have you ever seen something like me?”

“You best believe I’ll haunt your dreams.”

“I can see the sunrise when I close my eyes.”

“As a kid you have a dream and it seems like nothing can come between what you dream and what you’re stuck in.”

“But when the moment’s there, will you rise up with your eyes up?”

“They look at me like I looked at her.”

“My blood trembles with desire to set the world on fire.”

“I feel the dark ahead of the dawn.”

“A spark of what I used to know stands before me all aglow.”

“Seen enough I’m not that blind.”

“They say she’ll bring us hope.”

“And are we all just children playing in our parents’ clothes?”

“And when the lights come on will we find out that we’re grown?”

“I would have done anything that you asked me to.”

“Where did I misstep? Where did I lose?”

“I wanna love and be loved.”

“I have all this money for nothing ‘cause what it buys is a disguise if you never loved me.”

“I’ve been waiting on that second chance.”

“It’s the lie of romance that over time it never stands.”

“Seen enough to make me blind.”

“I’m leaning on the brink of blazing a new path.”

“I know the dawn is coming.”

“We congregate freely, free from the evil.”

“Tonight we fucking party for a brand new tomorrow.”

“I know it’s been a long and brutal road.”

“Let me propose a toast and welcome in people who for years have been suffering.”

“Holding the weight of being held down, hell bound, lifted from the ashes, we naturally yell out.”

“I’ll give it one hundred and I’ll make you proud.”

“Imma be the remedy. Nah, I’m the elegy.”

“For all the pain, never again.”

“So the city is finally our own.”

“I’ll be free in my home.”

Act II

“People are frozen, pictures of panic painted onto their poses.”

“I am beholden for this mess.”

“All the people, they are screaming. I can hear my name.”

“Time slows and I know I don’t feel the same.”

“I’m running for a reason that I can’t explain.”

“Come and disappear with no fear.”

“My brain fails to explain the pictures I’m seeing.”

“Morning sky looking dreary like a painting painted by a guy whose demise was waiting.”

“Is _______________ lying dead when I should have been next to him?”

“I wish somebody else was lying there instead of him.”

“Vanish into air, come and stare into the light.”

“You never wish war on a people.”

“The seconds of your life just slow down.”

“My stomach eats itself. I see my own face.”

“Has something already determined my fate?”

“Time gives way. Am I too late?”

“I am death personified.”

“Your mind has been chosen. The lines have been drawn.”

“Take two steps, take one breath. Just accept your own death.”

“We will never forget and we’ll see you again.”

“Where’ve you gone, old friend, lately?”

“Have you left me here waiting to grow up on my own on this road all alone?”

“I am a desert of unfulfilled memories.”

“Death calls unspoken unseen.”

“If only we hadn’t listened to ambitions that were far beyond our reach.”

“If only there was a way to take back yesterday, you’d still be here with me.”

“If only you were a second late dreaming about yesterday.”

“If only you never came for me.”

“This morning I could feel the changes: Shadows on the wall laughing as we fall.”

“All of my moments are fractured behind me.”

“The toy of a girl has shattered inside of me.”

“Why does the silence emulate violence?”

“The cold and the quiet screams in defiance.”

“If only I had listened to the voices telling me to take it slow.”

“If only I had never wanted for better.”

“If only I didn’t stay up at night and miss you.”

“If only I didn’t feel like I feel when I’m with you.”

“If only I was never lonely.”

“If only I never came.”

“If only I never fell in love with you.”

“The air is scarily silent with the feeling any moment could explode into riots.”

“PTSD of twenty years of grief flooding heavy on the minds of those who never sleep.”

“Revenge is on the minds of the masses.”

“Ashes to ashes devolves into madness.”

“Have we reached the beginning of the end of peace?”

“Have we seen the end of out collective dreams?”

“There’s nothing that lasts forever. So we’ve discovered together.”

“What was white and black is now shades of gray.”

“They sit in the eye of the storm, looking at the city as it silently swarms.”

“Tell the people we are coming, declare a revolution.”

“Now it’s time somebody bled.”

“Is this the day that we can say you paved the way?”

“Alone, awake, her mind would race into her dreams.”

“Unsure of what the balance held, the girl grew up into herself.”

“When the man had got his way, he disappeared without a trace.”

“I dreamed a dream and so it seems that little girls have fantasies.”

“We are all the play things of men in this town.”

“What you’ll find, what you’ll see is that men could care less about your fantasy.”

“With flowers in their hands but pockets full of dust, ain’t no trust in a man.”

“Why am I stuck in this lie? I should’ve known better than to trust his eyes.”

“Should’ve read the signs ‘cause all my life I’ve been left behind.”

“See I had him, no denying that this love’s worth dying.”

“I’m as foolish as I ever was.”

“I came here because I believed in his love.”

“I thought the world had changed. It’s the same as it ever was.”

“How can I explain these mistakes I’ve made.”

“I wanted to love and be loved, but instead I’ve come undone.”

“How do I tell her that she has been deceived by me?”

“Our enemies showed us no mercy and we will show none in return.”

“When we needed you most, I watched you suburb.”

“Where’s all that wisdom that we saw in you, made us fall for you.”

“Is the world so fucked you’ve already given in?”

“Crumbled are the steps of the dream I stood upon.”

“As I stand dismayed by the mess that I’ve made, let me be.”

“Here you are stuck between us and them.”

“Maybe there’s a way, maybe there’s still hope,  but I don’t recognize you.”

“Don’t understand how the same damn man who gave hope to the land can stand before us and command that we’re going back.”

“This monster is growing with every breath.”

“Here I stand, a shade of a man with peace in his hand.”

“Now that they’ve tasted your dream, they can’t go back to where we were.”

“Right in this moment, you’ll find me dreaming about yesterday.”

“The soul lingers long after you pass. That’s why we feel like we’re surrounded by our past.”

“The air drenched in a bath of memories, a constant reminder of our deathly legacy.”

“I never took a risk and I’m scared to admit that this is how I lived my life.”

“‘That’s __________________,’ they told me, ‘a princess in disguise.’”

“I wanna be great for one instant.”

“I’m gonna take a risk and maybe I can save her life.”

“I have waited all these years for your face to reappear.”

“I have waited all these years for you to see me here.”

“I don’t need an icon that’s bygone.”

“When I was little, you convinced me that I belonged, but you were wrong!”

“Inside, I feel rage, and you died in vain.”

“I’m only half your babe, the other half: disgraced.”

“You took their lives in your hands and it was wrong.”

“You led those people in their very own death song.”

“You gave up being my mother - for what?”

“I can use force like you never could.”

“From what I know, this road’s still golden and I’ll always believe in you.”

“What we’ve been through, we can’t undo.”

“I have always loved and believed in you.”

“She has never loved or believed in you.”

“I done with you and the war you provoke.”

“You would push it till it burned with no concern.”

“With you, I believed in love, but you never loved me. You only used me.”

“So why should I be stuck in this lie?”

“She certainly loved you from far away.”

“Little children, they ran away a ways away where they could be safe.”

“She believed that you could be something great, someone great.”

“We need to grow up now.”

“Stop praying for, wanting more, playing war.”

“We’re not children anymore.”

“Look at what we’ve lost, what love we’ve lost.”

“We haven’t begun to see the sun. We need to set it right.”

“Let’s start anew. It’s what she died for.”

“Now this tale of love has ended, our has just begun.”

“If we Shades have thee offended, then go out and see the sun.”

“The world in here is just a shadow. We hide in these imaginary lights.”

“The world out there is a shadow of everything that might be right.”

“Rise up, shake hands, resume our days. Because this is all a play.”

“Just make believe that makes belief.”

“Give us just one moment to shine.”

[myrish-lace-love]

Fight/Flight/Freeze

Jonsa Halloween Day 3 - Tales or The Stranger

Summary:  Sansa Stark always looks forward to Halloween trips to the Wintertown pumpkin patch. This year, though, Joffrey Baratheon forces Sansa to go to the "Fright Fest" haunted house, a new addition to Wintertown's attractions. Sansa is stuck, until Jon Snow helps rescue her from danger. With Jon's help, Sansa remembers everything she loves about the Halloween season. For @jonsa-halloween

***

Sansa had grown up on Halloween tales of Samhain. The Gaelic holiday shared an evening with Halloween, and ushered in the darker half of the year. Her father had told them stories of how the barrier between the living and the dead thinned and shifted that night.

When Sansa’s mother passed away two years ago, Sansa’s father had tried to spin Samhain stories as a source of comfort, as a time when they all might feel closer to her. During the day, Sansa shared in the reminiscing about her mother, and could even bring herself to smile at some of her father’s stories.

Once night fell, that spell was broken, and a new spell descended. Sansa would keep the light on in her bedroom, startling each time the branches scraped against her window. When she closed her eyes, she'd seen her mother's ghost, red-eyed and terrible, shrieking for revenge. She'd woken up in tears each time.

She'd made the terrible mistake of calling Joffrey as she wept last Halloween. She'd imagined he'd be gallant, perhaps even come and rescue her.

Instead, Joffrey had been irritable, He’d hung up almost immediately. Sansa was mortified, but she's told herself at least it'd been quick - a phone call from a needy girlfriend that Joffrey would soon forget.

But the longer Sansa stayed with Joffrey, the more she understood that he coveted and collected moments of weakness. He derived a sick and twisted pleasure from exploiting those moments over and over.

Sansa had been raised to be a good and obedient girl, and for her that extended into being a good and obedient girlfriend, no matter the cost. Joffrey spent the rest of the year telling her grisly ghost stories and transforming movie night with his friends into horror fests.

Sansa had laughed, and tried to waive away her fears as part of just another game she and Joffrey played.

Joffrey's eyes would glint cruelly each time. He may not be able to tell when she was happy, or sad, or needed comforting, but he fed off her fear like a bloodsucking insect.

Sansa had tried to distract Joffrey this Halloween by offering up a trip to her favorite apple orchard, the Wintertown pumpkin patch. She'd expected to be turned down. She'd been excited, in fact, about taking Joffrey's inevitable cancellation and turning it into a trip with Margaery Tyrell. Margaery’s constant quest to get Sansa to break up with Joffrey would simply be a bonus.

Instead, to her surprise, he'd readily agreed.

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Sansa had sighed, but taken it in stride. She'd been looking forward to the trip. The Wintertown pumpkin patch was full of her Halloween favorites - apple cider doughnuts, pumpkin picking, pony rides for the children who'd shout with joy.

Sansa had been one of those little girls once. Each year, until she was too old, she’d ridden a beautiful black pony she'd named Belle. She'd pretended she was an autumn queen and Belle was her loyal mare. Her father and her mother had smiled at her. The picture Robb had snapped of her patting Belle’s mane was tacked to her vanity mirror in her bedroom. Her mother and father had even indulged her in the gift shop, buying her a crown of fabric autumn leaves for her hair.

That was the Halloween Sansa loved - the changing of the seasons, the beauty of the leaves, the crisp fall air, the joy people took in being cozy and warm as the cold crept into town. Wintertown pumpkin patch meant all of those things to Sansa.

Wintertown pumpkin patch had changed with the times, however. The business needed to bring in more revenue, and now it was home to the "most terrifying" haunted house in the state, Fright Fest. Sansa had read the reviews of Fright Fest, hoping to see something like "it's got a few ghosts, but it's safe enough for the kids.”

Instead, patrons described it as "scarring" and "a bad idea for anyone under sixteen." More than one visitor gave the haunted house zero stars. Those reviews claimed that Fright Fest went too far, and "swept you up in the plot of a horror movie that you can't escape."

Joffrey, naturally, had been thrilled.

Now, as they pulled into the Wintertown parking lot, Joffrey was trying Sansa’s last nerve.

He argued with the parking attendant about being forced to park his Lexus in the mud. The apple orchard was in the middle of a field, and all of the spots were in the mud. Sansa fought to keep from rolling her eyes. She gazed up at the orchard’s trees and reveled in the movement of the leaves on the wind.

Joffrey grabbed her wrist, harder than he needed to. She stifled a whimper.

“Quit embarrassing me. Just....stop mooning over trees and let's get this over with.”

Get this over with . Sansa felt a flash of hope. She loved this apple orchard. She’d loved it since she was a child. If she could change Joffrey’s mind about what he wanted to do today...

"You're right about your father’s car, Joffrey," she said, giving him a bright smile. You shouldn’t have to endure getting mud all over the tires.”

She took a deep breath and pulled out another one of the strategies she used to appease him. “The staff here are rude, maybe they don’t deserve our business.” She winced inwardly as she said it. Her parents had brought her up to believe that everyone deserved to be approached with dignity and respect - especially people who weren’t in a position to object to bad treatment.

Joffrey's expression darkened, and Sansa knew she'd been too bold.

“This is my car, not my father's car.  He's practically given it to me, Joffrey snapped. “Besides we can't leave now, Sansa.” A sharp, predatory smile sprung to his lips, "We haven't been to the Fright Fest. And I know how much you've been looking forward to it.”

Sansa trembled. She hated haunted houses. She’d been frightened by them ever since she and her siblings had been children. Robb and Arya and Bran had tricked her into believing a ghost lived in the basement of the Winterfell mansion. They’d apologized, and Sansa had long since forgiven them, but the damage had been done.

Sansa did her best to calm the pounding of her heart as she and Joffrey paid their entry fee. Joffrey hustled her past the hayrides and pumpkin picking patch to the "main attraction" of the Fright Fest house. Sansa shrank back as the gloomy building loomed over her. The speakers blasted awful sounds - keening and wailing of lost souls. Worst of all, the speakers sometimes burst with a shrieking that stopped Sansa in her tracks.

That was it, the exact scream Sansa’s mother had made in Sansa's dream.

“Come on, stop stalling, let's go.” Joffrey practically shoved little kids out of the way to get to the entrance. The building was encrusted with gruesome rubber masks.  Snarling gargoyles covered the facade. Bloody handprints stained the ground, as if the victims had been crawling away after being slashed to pieces--

“Miss, are you all right?”

Sansa blinked, and slowly took in the young man staffing the door. She'd expected him to be dressed in full monster regalia.

Instead he wore farmer's overalls, and a worn blue shirt. He carried a plastic pumpkin full of candy, and his nametag read "Jon."

“Great, you got us stopped by the kiddie chaperone,” Joffrey snarled. He glared at Jon as he pushed Sansa towards the dark, cavernous entrance. “She's fine.”

Jon's eyes flashed. He put his hand on Joffrey's chest. Jon didn’t seem to push him, but Joffrey stopped dead in his tracks as if Jon's arm was made of granite.

“She's hyperventilating.” Jon was speaking to Joffrey, but Jon’s gaze was all for her.

Sansa flushed. “I'm - I'm fine, really l, he's right, I'm too scared for my own good, I'll, I won't cause trouble I promise--”

Jon was right, it was hard for her to breathe, and she trailed off.

Joffrey couldn't muscle his way past Jon. He stepped up the insults instead. “She's twenty two, not six.”

“We had someone faint in here earlier today,” Jon said firmly. “Big strong lad, built like a tank, passed out cold on the floor.”

Some of the cunning slipped back into Joffrey's voice. “Well too bad for that guy, sounds like a loser…”

Jon pulled the two of them aside, allowing other customers to enter. Sansa glanced over to her left and saw Jon's coworker, a slender man with the name Satin on his tag, taking tickets.

“Look mate, this place is designed to trigger the fight/flight/freeze reflex,” Jon said to Joffrey.

The gods had blessed Joffrey with an overabundance of wealth, but intelligence was another matter. "What?"

Jon sighed. “A ghost pops out, you punch someone, you run, or your feet get stuck to the floor.”

Joffrey grinned and tightened his grip on Sansa’s arm. “Oh she'll try to run, I'm sure, but I'll drag her through it. Doesn't she need to learn to face her fears?”

Joffrey might as well have said she's worthless, a child, she disgusts me, and I’ll scare her so badly she'll be ashamed to ever complain about this sort of thing again.

Jon looked Sansa up and down. Usually when guys gave her the once over her skin crawled, but the kindness in his eyes helped her relax.

Jon shook his head. "She doesn't need to face anything, not unless she wants to."

Sansa stood up straighter.

The corner of Jon's mouth quirked. “Besides, she's not going to run. She's a fighter."

“You've got to be kidding me,” Joffrey said.

Jon shrugged. “Had a martial arts instructor come through yesterday. Black belt. Teaches over at Citadel University. Helped me start out in judo."

Sansa gasped. "Brienne?" Brienne was an old friend of the family. Sansa’s father had invited Brienne over for dinner often. Sansa admired how steely Brienne’s demeanor could be, how well she carried herself. I’m nothing like her , Sansa thought.

Jon nodded. “That's her. Clocked Pyp right in the face. She came through during my break. Satin's new at this, he let her in. I never would have. Can’t have our staff getting hurt."

Joffrey scoffed. “You're telling me Sansa Stark, Ned Stark’s sweet eldest daughter, who cries when kittens get hurt on TV, is a fighter?"

“That's exactly what I'm telling you,” Jon said evenly.

He turned back to Sansa. “It's in the eyes,” he said softly. “That look. It's unmistakable.” Jon was speaking directly to her now. Everything else faded away as she got lost in his gaze.

“She's going to fight her way through this,” he murmured. Sansa wasn’t sure they were still talking about the haunted house. “She's going to break loose, the next time she's scared.”

Jon turned back to Joffrey.  “And if you're not careful, the person she punches could be you.” Sansa could have sworn Jon was growling.

When Joffrey spoke again he sounded shaken. "Whatever, just let us in.”

Jon stepped between Joffrey and Sansa. Sansa took a full, deep breath for the first time since she’d entered the park. "Go on, mate, feel free. But she isn't going with you."

“I'm going to find your manager and get you fired,” Joffrey sneered.

Jon smiled and pointed. “Go on ahead. He's over there, by the gift shop. Sandor Clegane. You might even know him.”

The color drained from Joffrey's face. Sandor Clegane had worked security for the  Baratheon family, until he stopped Joffrey from tormenting Tommen's cat. No one talked about it openly, but the small town had been buzzing with the news for weeks. Sandor stood by the door with his arms crossed. He wore a suit of armour that was far too well fitting to be a cheap costume.

“This is ridiculous,” Joffrey muttered. “I'm leaving.” He glared at Sansa. “Find your own way home with your new knight here.” He stormed off.

Sansa recovered shortly after. “I’m...not sure how to thank you,” she said softly to Jon unsteadily. “Thanks for fibbing for me, I really am too scared for my own good. I would have bolted or frozen or…."

The corner of Jon’s mouth twitched. “My gut tends to be right about these things. But now it’s up to you whether you go in or not.”

A portly man with glasses and the nametag "Sam" tapped Jon on the shoulder. "Shift's up Jon." Jon nodded absently at him.

With Joffrey gone, Sansa was at a loss. “Well, thank you again, for your help, I'll just…" She trailed off. She had enough money to get an Uber home - after a year of dating Joffrey she always brought enough money to get home on in case he caused a scene. Best to start calling for a car.

As she fumbled for her phone, her stomach growled.

Jon rubbed the back of his neck. “Hey, I don't mean to impose any more than I have already--”

“Oh no,” Sansa broke in. "You saved me there. I'm very grateful, Jon.” She smiled at him, and this time the smile came naturally.

Jon blushed. “Well, at any rate, would you like to get an apple cider doughnut? My parents used to bring me here as a kid--”

“So did mine.” Sansa could practically taste one now.

“And their doughnuts are the best,” Jon finished.

Jon walked her to the restaurant. They split three doughnuts between the two of them. Sansa licked the sugar off her fingers before she could remember to be ladylike. Jon laughed with her, not at her, and Wintertown pumpkin patch settled back in her mind as a place of comfort and refuge. Joffrey drifted further from her thoughts. Jon helped her pick out a pumpkin in the gift shop.

Jon walked her to her Uber. Before she could overthink things, she asked for his number. Jon flushed and mumbled through it.

**

Once Sansa arrived home, her Siberian husky Lady bounded up to her. Sansa laughed and showed her the brown paper sack with the pumpkin she and Jon had picked out.

After she’d lifted her small, round, perfectly orange pumpkin onto the kitchen table, she noticed another package at the bottom of the bag.

She pulled it out, turning it over in her hands. "Deluxe Pumpkin Carving Kit" was written in gaudy letters, and the plastic packaging was decorated with smiling cats and happy witches. An assortment of carving tools were inside. The kind that could slice through pumpkins, and leave children unscathed.

There was a handwritten note as well.

Dear Sansa,

For the next Halloween scuffle you're in. Or for carving pumpkins. I hope you feel comfortable coming back to Wintertown next season. I'll be manning the restaurant door in case you want to sample some more apple doughnuts. Thanks for making my day.

Have a great Halloween,

Jon

Sansa smiled. She got to work on her pumpkin, carving out a happy witch with a curly hat. She snapped a picture of her handiwork and texted it to Jon.

Jon texted back a pumpkin carved like a smiling cat. There's a big white Siberian husky in the photo with him, curled up on his couch.

Well now I have to send him a picture of Lady, she thought, if only to be polite.

***

Next year on Halloween, Jon made apple cider for the both of them. He didn’t use Wintertown pumpkin patch’s recipe, not exactly, since it was a secret. Sansa sighed in bliss when she took her first sip. She told Jon it was better than the cider at the pumpkin patch. When Jon ducked his head and tried to protest, Sansa kissed the corner of his mouth, and soon they forgot the cider entirely.